#i know people change but the version of her that i knew was really unstable and i have no evidence that she’s been through any type

[fingertipsmp3]

Facebook will jumpscare you for no reason. Like why did I need to know that the girl who used to stalk me is pregnant, and why did I need to know one of my former bullies has just married an ugly man

[kayetra-spade-queen]

Danny Phantom

There's not much change in name, but I intend to use what the fandom come up for his middle name (at least I think that's what the fandom agreed on? I might be wrong).

Daniel James Fenton.

Daniel, his actual full first name.

James, is what I remembered the name the fandom agreed upon, or at least some of it.

Fenton, his family name. There's nothing for me to explain about.

Also, a friend pointed out that I have a habit of giving things dramatic names (I'd say the influence of Genshin is strong af-). I do have a habit of making something to be more extreme than it was when it was originally made, so please don't mind it.

Relationships:

Maddie and Jack:

They're still the goofy and quirky parents Danny and Jazz had, but was smarter, more understanding and compassionate compared to the original. Knew Danny turned into ghost and the portal incident, more like they were also witnesses of that said incident. The sound of his scream of agony and pain manage to pull out nightmares for the both of them on several nights. However, that doesn't waver their love for their son. Sure, he may become half of the being they're hunting down for the sake of studies or something, but that doesn't erase the fact that this ghost child is their child, their little baby who unfortunately fell into the abyss of their own mistakes and neglect. They assists Team Phantom many times when it comes to the supply and whatever knowledge they have currently and are still expanding beyond their current understanding for the sake of learning to find a solution that wouldn't harm either side of the plane.

Jazz:

Nothing much different compared to the canon, except she was also a witness to the incident. Her overprotectiveness tenfold, much to Danny's dismay, and it took a lot of time for them to find a common ground and for her to tone down. There's nothing much different in this version compared to the original.

Sam, Tucker:

Danny's friends since elementary. Their relationship is pretty much the same as they are in canon, but what's different is that Danny and Sam doesn't harbor feelings for one another (I apologize for those who ship Amethyst Ocean), and therefore they aren't in any other relationship other than best friends.

Valerie:

Danny's relationship with Valerie is very contradictive compared to their relationship in canon. First and foremost; Valerie listens to people more than just act out and shutting her ears out, yes she sometimes act out first questions later, but she had made pretty good judgements and know that nothing good happens when jumping to conclusions too quickly and taking everything at face value without knowing the full story. She and Danny became friends during freshman year of middle school, and although Valerie still somewhat in the 'popular' clique in their school, she'd prefer to spend time with the Team Phantom any time. She could be considered the hub of all gossips at school with how much information she gets from the most loud and chatty clique of the whole school.

Dani/Elly, Dan/Ozzy:

Dani: The first ever semi-success clone of Danny made by Vlad. Nothing really is different in their relationship, until Dani was in the most critical condition that had something to do with her unstable ectoplasm, which required her to have to be revert to a some sort of fetus and undergo a process similar to normal human pregnancy, but instead of putting the halfa fetus into Danny, it was put inside of a bottle first before a birthing pod when the halfa child became more mature and resembles a newborn. In turn, she'll be reborn back as purely Danny's child (think about Ben who asexually reproduced, but went through a completely different process) without any of her past memories in place. The art and technology of doing this process remains undisclosed. Her new identity became Eleanor Maria Fenton with the nickname "Elly", and she became the ghost princess by right of birth after her "rebirth".

Dan: Their relationship remains the same until Danny decided to properly take care of Dan (before the de-aging). Think of it like a Nahida-Scaramouche/Wanderer relationship. Although it was a painfully grueling process, Danny was patient and really think about Dan and his freedom and his disoriented characteristics at heart and tried to the best of his abilities to help Dan out through it all. However, it turns out the ectoplasm from Vlad's half in Dan was found out to have a corruption, making Dan going through an excruciating pain and suffering. In order to cleanse the corruption entirely, Dan have to go through the same process as Dani, reverting him back to that of a fetus, born now as a halfa, and restart everything from scratch. His new identity became Kalos Marcus Fenton with the nickname "Ozzy", becoming the ghost prince by right of birth after his "rebirth". He and Elly had became twins in this current life.

Cujo:

The ghost dog that Danny found outside the building of Axion Labs (no, he didn't went in and wreck the place, because I'm twisting some things in Shades of Gray because Valerie is part of Team Phantom from the start). The dog looked lost, confused, as if it doesn't know what to do, so Danny decided to take the dog in and brought him home. After a while, he realized the tag on the dog's collar, and figured that this dog at some point was a staff at Axion Labs or maybe someone related to someone who works at the lab, and decided to check what's the deal with the dog and the lab. Danny later found out that the ghost dog, along with other dogs before (he didn't know if the other staff dogs are also dead, but he'll have to check it up later) are used to be guards dogs decades ago, but they were let down when technology became more efficient. The dog canals, food bowls, and other stuff are being put in an abandoned storage space that was completely sealed off. But a single toy stood out to him, a squeaky toy. Since this is the only toy in the whole room, Danny assumed this might've belonged to the ghost dog he found, so he decided to go back home and hoping this is the item that the dog was looking for to the point of waiting outside the walls of the lab for, which thankfully it was. However, instead of going back to the Ghost Zone, the dog decided to stay, and Danny became his owner after asking Maddie and Jack (to which both agreed). Cujo became his name.

Vlad:

Good god, where do I even begin... Ok, I guess I should start that their relationship is a lot worse than in canon. Yes, he still had that hatred towards Jack, but he also hated Maddie as the miniature portal was also her creation as it is to Jack's. By extent, he hated both of their kids too (unreasonable? Yes, but anything goes for me-), but particularly Danny due to his status as a halfa and the many connection he had between the living plane and the Ghost Zone. Dani's creation wasn't because he wanted a perfect son, it was an attempt to use the clones as an army to attack Danny. Dan's creation was literally a succeeded version of Vlad's plan. Vlad figured that the only way to really hurt Maddie and Jack, was to hurt their beloved youngest, the more pain the better he said. Vlad was so deep into his hatred towards the Fentons, morality was completely out the window and down the drain for him. Every attempt was another way for him to destroy the Fentons of what they did to him, he wasn't willing to talk whatsoever, even an attempt would've been futile instead. Due to me completely erasing Phantom Planet from existence, Vlad was still roaming free under the facade of a good natured mayor while scheming to get rid of the Fentons by any means necessary. His ectoplasm became corrupted due to many times it was used to experiment dangerous creations and many mysterious methods. However, Vlad could withstand it due to his overflowing amount of sheer hatred, while Dan couldn't handle the corruption due to having Danny's DNA.

Manny:

A fellow member of the Nicktoons Team. Manny (alongside Jenny) joined much later. They started out as acquaintances then friends, then after a while, they both started a relationship. Manny's life became even more interesting by the time the twins came to the picture, and Manny wouldn't want it any other way. He's a great babysitter (and maybe even parent, someday).

Jimmy, Timmy:

Danny considered both of them as his troublesome younger brothers, particularly Timmy. It all happened because the Turners asked the Fentons if it's ok for them to leave Timmy under the Fentons for a while, and that's how Danny's babysitting career started (do not ask for details. If you know what the Turners are like, that should speak volumes enough). Danny met Jimmy a little later afterwards after seeing a lonely kid on the bench of the courtyard of Timmy's school, so he decided to approach him, and that's how they get to know each other. Danny was a bit protective towards Jimmy due to how many times he's been bullied and being treated as an outcast because of his high IQ, so Jimmy found a safe haven in Danny. Although Danny said he's more of their babysitter than anything, Danny turned out to be that of a parental figure of the team; slightly strict but responsible and gave out reasonable rules so no one gets into unwanted troubles even outside missions. Both Jimmy and Timmy viewed Danny is that of the 3rd parental figure who kept them grounded and the voice of reason and motivation for them. Although he is still capable of grounding them, like confiscating Timmy's video games and locking Jimmy's lab while taking the key with him. Jenny said it was a given considering many times those two caused trouble.

SpongeBob:

Danny's best buddy in the team. SB had always been the motivational one of the whole team and kept everyone in spirits. Literally the closet person he had in the team way before Manny and Jenny. Supports Danny through thick and thin, and was the first person Danny ever confided with whenever he had problems and vice versa.

Jenny:

Was the only person (robot?) Danny recognized in Center Shades, and the only one Danny talked with for a while until he got to know the other members (particularly Randy and Jake). Danny was Jenny's backup fixer whenever Jimmy is not available and/or wasn't with them altogether, hence the only person Jenny trust in the other team with her mechanisms.

Info Dumps:

I will be dumping a hella load of info in this column, so be warned if you don't want to read everything. I'm not really willing to make a separate blog about this topic itself, so consider it like a Danny speciality that you can't find anywhere except asking Danny himself;

The term 'ghosts' is an umbrella term used for all types of spirits that originates from all the realms of the Infinite Realms (commonly known as the Ghost Zone). Just because they're called ghosts, doesn't necessarily mean they are whatever that's left of a human spirit.

Ghosts aren't inherently bad natured; they're more driven by their obsessions more than anything, and doesn't really meant to cause harm, but their obsessions could clouded their better judgement, making them getting mischaracterized as 'bad natured' and 'pure evil'. They're not bad, they just need something to feed off of their obsessions to find a few specks of peace.

The Ghost Zone is actually named as Infinite Realms, but another name was also proposed when the realm was first discovered; Gap of The Sun. The reason for this naming is that it was once believed that this realm had been created from a sun that once exploded, and instead of turning into a black hole, it turned into a neverending realm filled with doors leading to many other realms. However, the naming and this theory was eventually dropped due to lack of evidence to support the claim of the exploded sun that created this primal realm.

The nature of ectoplasm is currently unknown, but it is theorized to be remnants of a spirit's will and their former drive when they were still alive. But due to the lack of evidence, there is no concrete info that the ectoplasm were remnants of the ghosts leftover living will. It was only left that ectoplasm are just what give these ghosts their shape after their soul no longer resides using a human vessel in the living plane.

There's a phenomenon between the ghosts called a "Death Day", where the ghost will have to relive the memories of their death, the feeling of pain they felt all over again. They would go completely paralyzed and won't be able to move at all as they relive the memories and pain of their death with nowhere to go as they couldn't move. The aftereffects when the day of their Death Day had passed are; extreme numbness, lacking color vision in their sights (everything is in black and white for them), complete blockage of their powers, and whatever that's left in their mood swings of their Death Day. The only way to minimize the pain during Death Day was when the spirit's living loved ones visit their graves or commemorate the death anniversary. Even then, that won't erase the pain entirely, as it won't affect anything in the aftereffects (although this is unclear for those who are born as a halfa). (This is inspired by that one DPxDCA fic on AO3).

Danny's ghost king title:

Ok, so I did said that Danny became ghost king in this version, right? Well, in version, Danny became ghost king a little later after the defeat of Pariah Dark. Technically, he was already crowned shortly after, but due to the fact he's biologically and chronologically too young to rule yet, it was decided that Danny have to wait until he was 20 to finally take on the big roles of being the king of ghosts. Until then, he was made to do smaller tasks that seemed a bit big to him at first, but once he became king, the weight was even more immense than what he had initially thought it would.

The Ghost Law:

A law that is absolutely mandatory to follow by all ghosts of every realm and every kind. Here are some examples;

Ghosts are absolutely forbidden to harm those who still resides the living plane by any means.

In terms of handling one's obsessions, it is absolutely advised to ask the Ghost King for any solution that wouldn't involved the living beings.

Killing a living soul or the environment of the living realm will be heavily punished.

In terms of living amongst the alive in the living plane, a barrier must be made around the property to prevent ghost hunters or unwanted guests from lingering the property.

When a soul from the living plane had lost its human vessel and could no longer resides amongst the alive (basically: someone died), it is an absolute must to inform the ghost king in order to conduct the 'White Farewell' ceremony for the now-departed spirit.

Personality:

Not much different, except he radiates mom energy all over. Well, no wonder. Along with Ben, Danny has plenty experience when it comes to hyperactive and/or rowdy kids, and had a huge sense of parental responsibility towards everyone. Both Danny and Ben would be fussing over those who would dive head first into trouble without a clear plan and getting injured in the process, or when someone did something incredibly stupid it ended as a huge problem (they're in the Overview department for a reason).

Danny is more... Elegant compared to the original. There's always an aura of grace coming from him, and sometimes his voice comes off a sort of a mystical vibes, even if he didn't intend to it. Although despite being king, his overall personality didn't change; humble, friendly, and approachable.

Battle attire:

Something like a royal outfit, but nothing extravagant. Ok, maybe adding a bit of claws on his gloves could be a bit extra, but you can't blame me, blame Ningguang-

The hair tho, I have been thinking like a Zhongli-style ponytail in battle form. But in normal form, like human form will varies depending on what Danny wanted. Majority of his hair would already be white even in his human form.

The design I came up with.

(Base: TheCherryMonsterLu (DeviantArt));

Weapons:

Polearm

Fenton Thermos

Flashdisk

Abilities:

Ghost powers

Ice powers (from his Ice Core)

Ectoplasm generating

Mind reading

Dream-jumping

Other Info:

Obtained the title or nickname as "Siren Voice", due to his mystical and beautiful voice. Think of it as those myths where sailors would disappear when they heard the voice of a mermaid/siren. This'll be hella useful for Danny in so many ways.

Ftm transgender, though he liked being called 'mom' by the twins.

Although he is a Fenton, he does not have the Fenton luck when it comes to driving (neither does Jazz). But he was usually being driven to by his ghostly staff/guards than driving himself. He still have a driver's license though.

Still can't get close to Blood Blossoms, otherwise he'll experience pain as horrible as the time of his 'death'.

Danny's body is sturdy but also hella flexible. He used to do gymnastics when he was younger, but his flexibility was greatly enhanced when he became a halfa.

Danny's eyes changed after the incident, not just when he's a ghost; originally icy blue, now blue on top half, and ecto green on bottom half. His eyes is still fully green when he went ghost.

The 2nd tallest in both at Nicktoons and the other team. Sorta thriving and suffering at the same time (the whole 'shorter people live longer' joke became a bit too literal than it was intended to due to Jake's longevity).

Danny would, quite literally, became a dictionary when someone would ask about ghosts, its nature and laws, etc.

Danny and June are actually pretty close friends due to their shared dreams to be an astronaut (even with their current circumstances).

Danny used to love eating sweets and desserts, but as Sam and Valerie monitored him and limit his consumption of sweet food ever since he had the twins.

Given everyone his protection seal, so ghosts couldn't really harm them, and it'll be much easier dealing with the ghosts like that because they're under the 'territory' of the ghost king himself.

At some point, Danny will start an orphanage for lost young souls who met their fate far too early. Randy might also do the same, but just with living children, and there will also be rescue shelters and such.

He, along with Jake are currently searching to find ways so that lighter energy-beings like Jake and June could enter the Infinite Realms due to having absolutely chaotic and mixed energies.

Danny's signature flower is Star Lit Orchid.

[starmuselove]

BAE JINYOUNG LEAVING CIX

𝕯𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌: 7 𝕬𝖚𝖌 2024

𝕯𝖊𝖈𝖐𝖘 𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖉: 𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖂𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕿𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖙.

𝕯𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗:

The contents below might be not accurate because of how tarot works, it's not a fact. And energies, mindsets change over the time, so I advise you to take it with a grain of salt. I am not responsible for upholding the accuracy of this reading. Take it as entertainment and not the absolute truth.

ᴡʜʏ ᴅɪᴅ ʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴄɪx?

The Magician R, 9oP, The World R , 5oP, 3oW.

He might've been disappointed with how this whole project turned out for him. He did not have material abundance at all! He probably felt very unstable, stagnant- it was especially not going where he wanted to go. Feeling frustrated and like a doll being used to attract a crowd. He wasn't learning stuffs he's supposed to know about to expand his horizons. That's why he could've felt stuck, like a big fish in a small pond-out of place, a sense of not belonging where he was; particularly in life. He knew he had so many opportunities and better things to do and explore. He could also maybe felt like he was losing his previous knowledge/acquaintances, almost waning of his talents. All in all he didn't feel like he was in his power and not an optimal version of what he could do and could be. He simply gotten enough of this restricting situation that only seemed to go towards his deterioration of skills and resources- mentally and physically.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ?

3oS, Death, The Magician R, Knight of Pentacles R. Knight of Cups.

He does not feel happy with how things have turned out regarding the situation/company. He might feel a bit directionless or unable to decide what he has to do now. I think he might be a bit guilty for leaving someone behind (I'm getting maybe one member of the group in particular?). What's done been done so he's currently leaving the heartbreak and pain behind and turning anew. He's evaluating his resources now so I think he might take a little break to figure things out, weigh out his plans and options on what he's gonna do. Tbh I think he's gonna relax and take his time enjoy his new freedom to ground himself first. He might have few friends like staffs that could be by his side to give him possible pointers where he could go towards.

Even though he is not happy about this, I see him having hope of him finally going towards what he wants to do, what his heart always wanted. I do think he does have few people in the industry to direct him. He's not in any type of hurry to write his new chapter.

ᴀɴʏ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴀɴꜱ?

King of Cups R, 10oW, King of Swords R. Re-evaluate.

Wow, is he usually very direct? His tolerance meter is out and drained!! He's like- don't let anyone control and bully you what you don't wanna do. Don't succumb to abusive power. You are the one who will suffer the most rather than the higher ups or the ones in power- if you lose your spark, if you keep on adjusting and adding on more burdens to yourself. It will really not get you anywhere and you could get stuck between a rock and a hard place. He's literally flat out saying leave the toxic ass places, places you don't deserve to be in, situations you don't deserve to be standing in, with people you don't want to be with. Leave it all and go towards a better companionship and places. Occasionally do re-evaluate what you actually want and what are your priorities.

This reminds me of the song lyrics:

I'm on some new shit

I'm chucking up my deuces up to her, Deuces

I'm moving on to somethin' better, better, better

No more tryna make it work, Deuces

You made me wanna say bye-bye.

<Obv not gonna include the song cause we don't support domestic violence abusers in here>

[ninapi]

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●

Save me (Kageyama Version)

Premise: Friendship is a fragile thing. Keeping you safe was his priority for the longest time, but overcoming hardships along someone you hold dear form irreplaceable, indestructible bonds, and a childhood friend can easily become the love of your life; or so that was for Kageyama Tobio.

Word Count: 2359

Warning: Toxic Oikawa coming through- 🫣

Chapter 3: Broken

The evening breeze came to an end bringing deep heavy moisture into the air, suddenly breathing became difficult and even if the moon shines bright in its highest point, it feels like being swallowed by an infinite darkness.

Tobio wasn’t one to read much into a situation, he was straightforward, naïve even. Complex situations weren’t his strength and he avoided them at all costs. But there was one complex situation in particular that he couldn’t get away from no matter how hard he tried.

You took interest in him when majority of people despised him, you smiled for him, cared for him like no other, you were worth his time, his effort, even if that came with an awful sense of dread.

“So, what if I was?” you were tugging on Tobio’s sleeve, wanting nothing to do with the man in front of you. Avoiding this sort of encounters was always the goal when it came to your friendship, Oikawa meant uncomfortable situations more often than not, your day couldn’t get more difficult.

Oikawa contemplated his reply, he was just mocking Tobio, he never really expected him to want to kiss his girl. He knew you, you always had Tobio in a little pedestal, always sang his victories, always worried for his well-being even when your own boyfriend was the one causing said discomfort. He knew you would always take his side no matter what, he knew today wouldn’t be an exception and that made his blood boil. “And why would she let you kiss her? Why would I let you kiss her? She’s mine, never forget that Tobio-chan.”

Tears started falling from your eyes like waves in a stormy day. You weren’t sad nor scared, you were just tired of this entire situation.

Locking yourself away for over a year had been a complete waste of time, of energy. He found you anyways and he hasn’t changed one bit. You lost so many opportunities to enjoy your first high school year, all due to fear and you were the only one to blame, it was your decision, the easiest way to deal with the problem was running away from it. But it was all for nothing, he was there standing in front of you, ready to punch your world upside down once more.

You were tired of being embraced by dread, fear, instability, all you wanted was to move on.

“The one that keeps forgetting things it’s you. How can you still think you have some type of right over her when you haven’t seen her in over a year?”

“She will always be mine, you can’t escape your destiny, no matter how far you try to run away from it.”

This situation was exhausting, you were so tired of this man and his self-righteousness. Your knees were getting weak, and you couldn’t keep up with what was going on after hearing Oikawa’s words. Before you could realize what happened, you found yourself knees deep in mud, breath ragged and unstable, the sobbing getting out of hand.

You just wanted this to end.

Tobio crouched beside you, resting one of his hands on your lower back offering his support both physically and emotionally. He’s not a man of many words, he doesn’t know how to make others feel better, how can someone even feel better in a situation like this. But he learned through you that just being there for someone can be as powerful as a pep talk, all he had to offer was expressed in that one simple action, you were the only one that mattered, and you always read him like an open book.

“Sweetie, why are you crying? I thought you’d be happy to go on a date with me. We can go get some dinner, maybe watch a movie, you could even come to my house if you want to, mom still asks about you. Come on, get up, let’s get going.” he was approaching your shaky self and even if his words were kind enough for anyone that heard them, you could hear the sharp end hidden in the dripping honey, this wasn’t a request, it was an order.

“I don’t feel like going on a date, Toru. Can you please go home?” you didn’t want things to escalate but you also didn’t want him to come back looking for you again, it was a blurry line you had to wonder carefully around to avoid conflict. “Is this about Tobio-chan again? I’ll let this one time go just for you, ok. Let’s go, pumpkin. I want to cuddle you to sleep tonight.” he was now tugging you up by the hem of your shirt, his rough actions not matching his sweet nothings, as usual.

“Stop pulling her like that, she’s not a dog on a leash. Why don’t you get it? She doesn’t want to go, even I can see that.” Tobio tugged you gently, nestling you on his side, a protective arm around your waist. It was weird how he always managed to make you feel safe with such little effort. “Sorry but I don’t really care for what you think you see or don’t. I know her, she’s been with me for years, she’s always like this and then ends up enjoying our time together, she’s just a handful you see, but I know how to deal with her.”

Your guts were having a party inside your body, chills were littering your otherwise soft skin. You wanted to be strong enough to reject him, but you didn’t want one of his violent outbursts to come right after, he did try to hit Tobio the last time that happened. “Toru, I need you to understand that we aren’t together anymore. Please don’t come looking for me, I won’t go on dates with you, I don’t have feelings for you any longer. Let’s call Iwaizumi-san, maybe he can go for dinner with you and have a good time.”

“You don’t have feelings for me any longer? So who do you have feelings for now? Don’t tell me is the pathetic child holding you, that would make me laugh.”

Kageyama was physically there, but his mind was running a thousand miles per minute, it felt like a match point kind of situation if he loses focus the entire thing would go south. “Again, so what if she did? What matters now is that she doesn’t want you here.” he could feel your hammering heart against his ribs, this would get bad soon he could feel it in the air, he had to get you out of there, fast.

“Ok, ok. I see today’s not the day. Give me your phone, baby girl. Let’s meet over the weekend, I’m sure you’ll feel better by then, you’re probably too tired.” He just wouldn’t get it no matter what you said, no matter what you did.

This was getting out of control and Kageyama didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t rely on you, you were too broken to think of a plan, a diversion. He needed to think quickly if he was to even dream of seeing you again, having Oikawa back in your life would not only drift you two apart once more but it was potentially harmful for you.

Tobio suddenly remembers this one manga he took from Hinata’s school bag the other day after practice. He kept on raving about how it was the best ending he’s ever read before and how he couldn’t believe it was actually a shojo manga he took from his little sister’s room. It was quite good even for Kageyama’s standards and said ending did make an impression on him, the scene he was currently in seemingly similar to the dramatic ending of the story.

Without putting much thought into it, he grabbed your face with both of his hands, bringing your face up to his, pressing his lips ever so slightly against yours. It was a fleeting moment, a confusing one at that, but you could feel every single muscle in your body relax. His lips were warm, soft, inviting, as soothing as lips could ever be. Not even once before you thought about kissing him, but now you regret not doing it sooner. It felt so right, like that was the most natural, obvious thing to ever happen.

Oikawa on the other hand was seeing red, if there was one thing he wouldn’t allow would be his girl being taken away by the one person he holds the deepest grudge in his life. Deep inside he always knew this would happen, he was the only reason you broke up, the only reason you fought, everything would be easier if Tobio wasn’t there to ruin his life. “What do you think you are doing, you scum! Get away from my woman!”

But his words only fired up a seeping desire hidden within you. Grabbing a hold of Tobio’s collar you brought him even closer to you, deepening the kiss. This was his first kiss, he didn’t really know what he was doing, but he trusted you. He knew this wasn’t about Oikawa anymore, this was your first shared kiss and in it there were many unspoken feelings lingering. He closed his eyes mimicking your own actions, one of his hands wondered down to your waist to keep you in place while the other remained on the side of your face. Your lips tasted like cherry lip gloss, he’s never tasted anything sweeter before. Not even Oikawa’s hysterical shouts were enough to break the magic spell you had him in. It was short lived, but the hazy look in your eyes, slightly disoriented, lips parted in a soft panting, red tinged cheeks, were driving the man insane, making him dive in for another kiss, this one getting heated rather quickly.

Oikawa was speechless.

No matter how many nasty insults came out of his mouth, no matter how many times he tried to physically pull you two away, there was no way to break you two apart. It was like some sort of magnet held you pressed against each other, dulling your senses to anything but the other.

Annoyed with his own life, Oikawa decided to leave for the moment. He needed to reorganize his thoughts, this wasn’t unexpected, but he still didn’t think he would live to see it happen right up on his nose.

You never kissed him like that, not even once. It was such a desperate hungry kiss, tugs, pulls, pants, gasps, it wasn’t something someone should witness in front of a school, it was something you just shouldn’t witness at all. It drove him mad, anxious even. So, he walked aimlessly into the darkness of an alley way without any of you noticing his departure.

Kiss after kiss, thirty minutes went by. There were no words, just kisses, caresses, meaningful glances. That was Kageyama Tobio for you, intense, kindhearted, solely focused on his task at hand. Whether that’d be in volleyball or a make out session, it’s always been the hottest thing.

 “(Y-y/N), I…I…” he was trying to come up with an explanation, he didn’t want you to think he kissed you just to shut Oikawa up, it was what he intended at first, but right now it wasn’t in the slightest, you were the only one in his eyes, not even the break down from earlier mattered anymore to any of you.

He thinks of the way he felt hours earlier in the gym when his eyes finally met yours after such a long time. Many things were felt in that moment and that’s something that doesn’t happen often for him, besides annoyance and hunger there’s not many things he dares to say he feels in a daily basis. But in that moment, he felt seen, he felt wings spring out of his back, your smile entrancing him closer like a moth to a lamp. He’s known this for a while, but always pushed it to a corner of his brain where things he doesn’t care for live, like math. But now he just couldn’t run away from his feelings anymore, his heart wouldn’t be able to take it, even breathing was hard ever since he saw you today.

“I know, Tobio. I do too, probably for a while, don’t know for sure since when, but yeah. I do too.” your voice was nothing but a whisper, no one but him would be able to hear this. You didn’t need him to say it, you know him, it’s always been hard for him to express himself, but you could see it in his eyes, the adoration, and years of longing, all was pouring out of his beautiful blue eyes, no words were necessary.

Plunging for one more kiss before leaving, he sighs against your lips happily. It felt great having someone who understands you to the point where you don’t have to even talk, it was particularly good for him since he has such a hard time being honest with himself, but that struggle wasn’t necessary with you, you saw right through him like if his heart had some sort of transparent sheet covering it. You’ve always been like that since the very beginning of your friendship and that’s what got him so deep into this.

“Tell me when you get home, ok?” nuzzling his cheek with the tip of your nose, you gave him the softest smile he’s ever seen, digging holes into his internal organs. “Yeah, go in. I’ll wait until you’re inside just in case.”

You both were aware that Oikawa wasn’t there anymore, but none of you noticed when he left, if he said or did something, all he could see was you and all you could see was him.

An unexpected way to end the night, but wonderful nonetheless.

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●

Tagged babes:@dazaisfavgf @lauraagrace @san-emi

Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter

[tabl3]

the team's (my version) biggest character flaws (that I write into them):

Chase: Ego. While this Chase has a far smaller ego than the one in the show, it's still present (in a more realistic sense for how it would develop as he grew up). He's not obnoxiously braggy, besides one or two comments, moreso the one being crushed by his being "perfect". Where it comes up and flaws him is the fact that he absolutely believes he's the smartest person in the room. While fundamentally it's true, it makes him not listen to anyone else, especially Kaz. He doesn't think Kaz is stupid by any means (he notices his intelligence the most), but he's so ingrained in the idea of superiority that no one can possibly have a better plan or thought than him

Bree: Insecurity. She comes off as bright, bubbly, and energetic, but when she slows down she's a complete jumble of what ifs and whys. Even though she went with hustle and muscle, she believes deep down that her biological brothers are superior to her entirely. She believes she HAS to be a hero regardless, otherwise they and innocents will be hurt (see caged on my ao3). She convinces herself that she wants to be a hero, and that she is one. But she has a gut feeling that she isn't meant for it, that she isn't worthy.

Kaz: Emotion. We all know this Kaz has literally explosive emotions all across the board. He loves too deeply, cares too deeply, depresses too deeply, and angers in a dangerous and terrifying way. His emotions only became more and more unstable after decimation, giving him the deep rooted paranoia that comes up when he trains with solar flare. It brought up the panic, fear, and guilt he is continously swamped with. He knows he could hurt any of his loved ones with a touch. He knows that some twisted part of him really wanted to to release the anger suffocating him. He knows he would've done unspeakable things if circumstances had been slightly different. And it terrifies him.

Skylar: Pride. Skylar Storm is a hero. She's a symbol. An icon. She doesn't cry. She doesn't whine. She doesn't crumble. She saves people. She will forever. Skylar Storm is not weak. She is not vulnerable. She's a protector. She's a rock. She keeps her friends and family and civilians from any harm. And things will stay that way.

Oliver: Cowardice and Jealousy. Oliver was not a coward when he was younger. He would stare down supervillains and figure out how to beat them. He shut down when he was fifteen. He barely knew left from right. He was torn between love and duty. Love for his mother and the hopeless thought that she'd be saved, one he carries still. Duty to his friends, his almost stepfather, the hospital. Eventually he quit trying to decide. He faded away, giving up on who he used to be. He wanted to feel safe. Then he joined the team and felt his best friends were ripped away. He was filled with scathing hatred toward the two perpetrators, because how dare they think they could take more from him. He became an even more different person, one spiteful, one that his friends grew to despise. He's atoned for the latter at this point, sure, but that doesn't erase what he did. Now he's comfortable with being the least exceptional. Hiding behind four spotlights. Because it's safe. And he's okay with not changing.

[ao3wasntenough]

One shot. Bot Sam finally can save himself and kids from decepticon, Sam finally enough with miko and salt on his wound since the kids entering base. (Remember this Sam is unstable)

*Sam look miko with murder intends, and miko for first time feel scare and Sam look about either hit her or shoot her but luckly Sam still have control that part but he still mad *

Sam : what we told you about don't sneaking in mission? Don't follow us. It's was really lucky that I can four of us. Are you very suicidal? *Sam start screams at miko and make her start crying, jack and raf trying calm Sam but it make Sam intention change to them*

Sam : you *pointed at jack* I am sick of heard you whining about your mother being protective and now she in base, you still whining about her. I will doing anything to just hug my mom again.

Sam : you *pointed at raf* you have chance to walk away when got option,you are younger than two of them decepticon, yet you choose to stay , you have option. I will give anything to back my loser boring life

Sam : THREE OF YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL CHILDRENS. *the kids actually started crying and miko already sobbing*

Optimus : ENOUGH, SAM

Sam : NO Optimus. You brought them in base and you let June Darby entering base to keep her son and give them all nice things. How about my mom? I can't even say I love her again to her. Why you give them all best and you give he nothing?!!

*Sam start crying*

Sam : I gave you everything and this is how repay Me? I lose my friends,my family and my humanity because of you. I gave everything to you and now I am stuck in this war forever, it's all because of you. I wish I never meet you.

*then Sam run away. Bumblebee torn between want comfort Sam or raf*

Arcee: bumblebee chase Sam. He need his best friend to calm himself, let's us take care the childrens. *bumblebee follow Sam*

Optimus: childrens, I want apologize for Sam name. It's my fault to not my decision make Sam pain be more worst and he released it to you.

(This is dialogue version. But we'll I am not really good at dialogue)

would "rubbing wires raw" and "playing with frayed wires" be appropriate phrases 🤔

but yeah i can see these gripes being very true to sam, choosing to put everyone at risk for adventure and epicness, being ungrateful and neglecting their families and their human lives being caught up in the autobots.

imaging all the kids being upset and even crying i can just imagine how painfully overwhelming that situation would be for everyone. humans and autbots.

everything Optimus or anyone says would probably only push Sam further into emotional hysteria. building up how upset and frustrating he finds the whole being tied seemingly forever with the autobots, he probably never genuinely opened up emotionally enough given he doesn't know how to navigate the social differences between the two races.

and the kids just become the mirror he wants to smash

poor painfully human Sam being forced to conform and transform. to watching kids make the same mistakes he's made, and people he knew and will never see again make.

in situations like these I think where could he even go, what could even come next for him. I can see him running. running as far and as fast as he can to loose bee because he cant keep facing optics judging him trying to gauge how much of a feral creature he is trapped in metal.

[macgyvertape]

BG3 Act 1 thoughts and liveblog part 1

With super long games like this (finished in about 110 hours) I like to take notes to 1) remind me of stuff I did at the beginning of the game and 2) to enjoy looking back on because I'm not doing another playthrough for a few years.

Going to suffer through the spider and half spider people since the mods don’t fully work yet and they disable achievements

Going for dark urge first playthough along the lines of Durge is guard dog to those they imprint on and I knew I was rolling a bard, so I watched clips of Felix RedvsBlue as a good starting point for my character roleplay. Starting character quote “At the end of the day, if I'm stronger than you and if I'm faster than you, then I can kill you! And that's better than anything money can buy”

Trying Not to be a “charismatic mercenary with gruff exterior and a heart of gold” 

I killed Commander Zhalk in the beginning area with viscous mockery. True bard experience

Passed the perception check of Astarion pulling a knife, some fun dialgoue options with him, and its a delight to hear his tone of voice really change

I can’t tell if Gale is just flirty/horny or really just dedicated to the facade of being surface deep and a braggart to mask his secrets. Seems both and though he seems full of himself I enjoy this kind of companion who lies about things

I think I like the inspiration mechanic, I got a point for killing the mindflayer “leaving it to burn”

I’m really having to force myself to be “that asshole” and ask people to pay me for helping them

Got another inspirational event for killing the cultists lol. The game gives me a lot of options to talk about my dark urge but I really want to play that close to the chest

I don’t really know about pre-rewrite version of Wyll but he really seems a good alignment nice dude, and unfortunately I want to be almost evil/neutral Dark Urge.

Had to reload to save Nadira, I’m struggling with interrupting actions outside of turn by turn combat

Rapheal sure makes an entrance, my character turned him down but didn’t attack since he seemed so powerful. Keep my options open but it seems like there are a lot of options there

Gale is fucking lucky I had a extra piece of enchanted gear so I didn’t lose my very nice sword. I also feel like I’m throwing away some approval points by my character questioning him but I’m trying to play someone who isn’t altruistic or too trusting.

Ok I failed several perception checks for a kid stealing my stuff then I caught the last one, but then the kid ran off and everyone in the hideout ran out. I’m not sure if anything was still stolen from me or if this is a a bug 

RIP Alfira, was not expecting that from the dark urge. I chose to confess to the others, if my character is murdering people in my sleep only fair to explain and not hide

My character told Karlach to tear the place apart as catharsis for being hunted, and it was fun to see that scripted sequence play out

Gale is telling me his unstable magic backstory, but he’s doing it at camp so there is no reaction for anyone else during the conversation despite him saying he wanted to tell everyone. (edit: Not sure if a bug considering he also referenced being mind whammied by the Almighty before that had occurred in the goblin camp). Also deeply ironic he talks about understanding if my character wants him to leave since he’s a literal timebomb, but this is happening a day after D!urge pc killed someone brutally

Also incredibly funny Lae’zel is now interested in my character, and will sleep with me considering her dialogue post D!urge murder

Wyll gets turned by his patron demon into a semi horned being, ok so I guess just seeing what he looks like shows the obvious decision you made with Karlach

Wtf is up with Wyll, that he’s so proud he made his pact when it was just made obvious he was sent on basically an assassination mission. All his talk of “saving innocents” wonder how many innocents he’s killed from bad intel

The trifling child gang hideout is very bugged

Perception check for the swamp reveal was really cool

I haven’t been taking many long rests so I just now got the Astarion vampire one. Fun to see all the options if you let him kill you, but I save scummed to let him really go for then stop for roleplaying purposes 

I actually realized I was right by the vampire hunter so I loaded a save where Astarion hadn’t revealed himself yet and fun how different it goes, he will kill the vampire hunter out of combat to keep his secret if you don’t intervene and that’s very fun. It also gets brought up when he tries to feed on you for the first time at camp, but I haven't found a dialogue option where you can say “weird coincidence the guy called you by the same name”

Got the scene at the goblin area where the party would get mind whammied if not for the mysterious artifact. I’m really trying to pick a moment when my character would go from “more people is better odds” to “ride or die for certain characters” and I think this is a good point along the line of “oh if these people aren’t with me then they’ll immediately be soldiers against me”

I really enjoy how Astarion treats you like a fool if you say he’ll be safe because you would protect him from Cazador, in the cliche all power player character here to fix the companion’s problems. I mean my character still said it of course because that was my favorite of the 3 options at that point. Interesting I only now can ask about what offer Raphael made, like that was hours and hours ago but guess it needed specific dialogue flags 

No other game has given me an S&M scene like this for a stat buff where its fun and horny. I love Gale’s “well whatever you’re into”. The first time I did the scene (pun intended) Astarion was standing a little too far away, so I only got Shadowhearts dialogue, but its much better with them talking back and forth

My character told Shadowheart she doesn't care that she worships Shar but more along the lines of not that she likes Shar its just she don’t really care about religion 

I am majorly arachnophobic so I just covered up the screen and freed the spiders so the goblins would kill them

My character asked the priestess to meet alone then assassinated her with Astarian cloaked to get an extra out of combat turn. I expect to do this setup a lot more

I found a Selunite outpost and went down there, then reloaded since that seems way too big an area to explore right now

Setting up Minthara to be doublecrossed was a great tactical way to clear out the goblin camp, especially since I’m out of short rests

Killed Dror Ragzlin with barrelmancy, aka stole a bunch of explosive barrels and put them around him and the crowd and then exploded them from the rafters above

Note to self in however many hours when I get to Baldur’s Gate, see how Ronan’s apprenticeship faired (I bet not well)

Astarion calling my character darling and saying he’s going to like me and it's clear I like him too, definitely feels like he’s rolling to seduce and being a bit manipulative so she will like him (tangent: Margaery Tyrell was one of my favorite GoT characters kinda similar vibes) 

My character was upfront about enjoying it but very funny to say that a less trusting person would be suspicious and have him vouch that the only thing on his mind was carnal lust. I tried the immediate agreement then reloaded and I love that his response feels very different like he’s succeeded in a seduction check. 

I made my dream visitor a hot masc teifling and there is big horny energy with his scenes

Got the “morally acceptable massacre” for defending the grove. I created some barricades out of crates, blew up the sappers with fire arrows and then the enemies were just trapped at the bottom as I killed them with archery. Took a few tries for barricade positioning but then was easy and none of the tieflings died

I’d like to think my D!urge character would love massacring the goblins, in the same way she enjoyed getting the Knoll leader to kill the others then kill themselves brutally. Sort of a “I just love killin’” character approach, but my D!urge character dislikes that the Dark Urge takes away her control. 

My character absorbed Minthara’s tadpole at the prompting, I figured my character would be all about gaining power she could control. Astarion certainly had a very camp approval option. 

I then used 4 Ithilid powers across Astarion, Gale, and myself really just to get rid of the menu icon being bright red and distracting

Oh wow I completely missed doing Kagha’s secrets until now, so I could tell Halsin but not much else happens 

Didn’t expect my character could talk Lae’zel into using the tadpole powers and make a good persuasion attempt with Kalrach, and then persuaded everyone else. Playing a charismatic character is fun, she is manipulative af

[ryqfaeh]

Aliya's Last Moment

Dr.Ghazali : This is the place where we went to the picnic when you were little. Here the picture I took before she got sick.

Ali : Woah, Mama looks so beautiful. And... she even smiles happily here.

Dr.Ghazali : Yeah, she's like an angel, isn't she? I wish I can spend more time with her before she's gone.

Ali : Me too, but Mama said she's happy spending time with us before her leaving us. Like she knew her time already.

Dr.Ghazali : And you, Ali... you got all her resemblance so much. Like her doppelganger but in a male version.

Ali : Well, that's what we called like mother like son.

Both giggle together.

ALIYA IS A GOOD MOTHER BUT LOST A CHANCE TO BE A MOM

Aliya is one of my favourite female adult character apart from the character which is Dos, Jenny and Dayang. Her characteristic is already showed how great she is as a woman, sister (Bakar's big sister) and mother at the same time.

Since her childhood, she is a kind and strong girl who wants to be a good example to Bakar which made him to be a strong and confident person as now.

Until she meet Niki. She's still the same person who wants to give a hand to Niki to make her life becomes better. She may already be involved in crime along with Niki but, deep in her heart, she just wants to help the whole Pinggiran since no one cares about them.

After being surrounded by MATA Leader Pillars, Aliya seems like beyond her control which is she ready to be caught by them. However, Dayang saw her potential to be an agent if Aliya joins MATA.

Is Aliya accepting Dayang's offer just to be escaped from punishment? Well, I guess she already knew that she was in her wrong path. Stealing and having a crime like in Ejen Ali the Movie even if she has a good intention. So, joining MATA is a good term to fix her life path and give her lesson how to help people in the proper way.

In the other hand, Niki seen Aliya as a betrayer as she already hold a grudge toward Cyberaya, a developed and high-tech city unlike her own place, Pinggiran. Because of that, she put Aliya in her hatred list for years until she meet Ali. I believe Niki still loves and cares Aliya as much as she did but, her revengeance kept pushing her.

During Aliya's override mode, Niki witnessed her pain while stopping the rocket but, she did nothing as she feels satisfied because of Aliya's betrayal. However, it isn't Niki's fault 100%. Aliya chosen to sacrifice herself in order to protect her own city because she has her family, (may) her husband and son who are living there.

Niki's emotionally unstable made Aliya realizes it's her fault in the first place. She shouldn't teach Niki to do something wrong. It could be better if they're just to do a right thing and helping together to build up Pinggiran. I think, after Aliya's joining MATA, she is no longer there and she can't visit Pinggiran anymore as she's busy doing mission.

It makes sense why is Pinggiran never change even after Ali visiting there as Aliya's son. Ali came as he found out Niki's earrings have a similar design as his mother's pendrive's design and knowing that later Niki is his mother's former friend.

In Niki's good perspective of Aliya, she described her as a good friend who helps Niki without judging her background or poor life. However, her other perspective with her hatred, Aliya is such a betrayer who chosen a stupid organization over her and the whole Pinggiran.

Ali shocked and ended up knowing his mother is actually an agent which is he always thought that his mother is a nurse. So, when the truth was revealed, Aliya isn't a betrayer at all. She's joining MATA because she thought the more researches she did, the more things that she can help Pinggiran in the future as she becomes a Techno agent which is she really good at.

The time Niki is going to use herself as a bomb, Ali unconsciously accessed Niki's IRIS Neo and there's Aliya's dimension appeared. Stopping Niki by her own hand from more wrongdoings with a regretful expression. It means, if she failed to stop her from real life world, at least she can stop her in IRIS Dimension. It's the least thing she can do to redeem herself.

ALI'S DECISION AFTER THE INCIDENT OF CYBERAYA

So, how about Ali? Is he okay and ready to forgive Niki about the reason of his mother's death? For me, if Aliya is alive, she may feels it was her fault because she failed to fix everything that change Niki to be a bad person. Ali may takes his time to process everything and decide what he should do in the next step.

Could he continue to be an agent or resign from joining MATA? So, he won't repeat the same mistakes as his mother did in the past?

In the beginning of becoming an agent, Ali is always giving up on something when it's over his limit. However, after the incident of Cyberaya, he changed his mindset that he wants to be like his mother. Changing his life perspective, learn something new and do what he can do. So, he can help people who needs a help.

As conclusion, Ali started accepting his fate. His life is no longer unlucky or bad. He gains his own strength and intelligence in his own way. He's talented, gifted and brave. Everyone may have all of that. However, for Ali, it's more superior than that. He's literally Aliya's son.

[tangerinestilettos]

This song is inspired by @mcelhenneyarms 's post. Go read it, it's such a beautiful insight on Dennis' feelings and I felt extremely inspired to write a song about it. So here it is and it's called On Repeat, made by (as previously intended) me. I really hope you'll enjoy this song!

The song is played on an acoustic steel-stringed guitar and doesn't have any other sort of production to it; it's me singing and it's me playing the guitar, simple as that. This, as well as the fact that you can "hear the strings getting played" creates a very raw feeling to it, which I deemed very fitting for the topic. And while I didn't add anything else than that to the recording the dynamic is still purposely changing between every part; in the way I play the guitar and in the way I sing.

It's entirely controlled by feelings, which I hope is evident in the song; the dynamic is closely connected to every feel of the words and to the feel of every line.

The song is in E major and the chord progression is quite easy; it switches between the first chord of the scale (E in this case), to the fourth chord of the scale (A in this case) and back to the first chord.

This progression was inspired by the chord progression in Saturdays by Louis Tomlinson, a very lyrically strong song as well as really cool dynamics.

The song ends on an A major, the fourth chord of the scale, which leaves the ending feeling "unfulfilled" in a way because it doesn't end "at home", which would be an E in this case (the first chord of the scale). I did this intentionally because the lyrics at the end go "now press the button, play it on repeat", which is both a reference to the start of the song when a movie is playing on repeat as well as a symbol for the end of the post that inspired this song, when it's mentioned that these things that happen are reoccurring. This also fits well with the phrase "on repeat", because it feels like the song "should" continue after the chord.

It's not the most "unstable" chord of the scale (which would be the fifth chord, in this case a B, because this chord really "wants to" lead back to the first chord, an E in this case, and usually doesn't stand on its own in that way) but it's not the first chord, so while it's not extremely unstable it's still some sort of longing for a continuation, hence, it playing on repeat.

I also want to say that even though the song is done now, there might (as per usual) be a few changes here and there as I continue to play the song and as the melody becomes more certain and the lyrics too. But this is one version of the song. (This means that I might update it as everything grows even more solid.)

Anyway, I believe that was what I wanted to say theory-wise, so here are the lyrics of the song and the recording is at the top of the post. Once again, enjoy!

***

On Repeat

It's another highschool night of another basement Another time watching the sky turn blue The movie's been hit, once again, on replay And I'm crammed on a couch between you two

The guy on my right never knew his dad His mother's affectionate but most likely sad From his uncle he should stay away Never says a word about it, but I relate anyway

Others call him names and force him to eat spiders I still laugh at the punchline made of his name But I know him as the guy who’s gone through it all We’re the same, in a way

The guy on my left is dealing drugs His mom only speaks through frowns and grunts But he makes himself heard through breaking things Making people sure of what’s happening

A framed photo is placed in the hallway With his dad and his mom who had a smile on her face He tells me his father’s in prison But it’s alright ‘cause there’s love left in their family anyway

I call him annoying every day That I hate him over and over again But I know him as the guy who feels too much but still acts brave We’re the same, in a way

It’s the summer after high school when I was almost sure that I loved them But I’m heading off to college now Don’t wanna leave you two behind

The light catches in streaks on dirty windows Blurs the colors just like tears I’m not even sure that I'm crying Think there’s nothing left in me

So I try to make it up For all the days we’d spend together But it ends with nights in tears And lonely thoughts that last forever

Why couldn’t I have fun without them? Through hazy nights that have been laced with something But twenty girls can’t make up For the lack of two guys who took my heart

And it’s waking up the dormant feelings With nightmare-like thrashing and screaming And twenty girls but just one guy Is enough for me to make me cry

It’s the break between semesters and I’m finally back at home again And they’re hugging me But I just feel sick

But I stuff it down enough for them A make-believe façade because They’d call it something stupid, just like guilt

We decide to buy a bar together I drop out of college for the better Making plans to move in with the guy on my left To finally move out of my parents’ house And hope to never see my dad again

It’s decades later but now I’m watching everything fall somehow The ones I trusted all the time Stole everything that was supposed to be mine

The guy on my right is my father’s favorite They spend every waking minute together But when he finally finds his real dad My own asks me to get his favorite back

And in the grand scheme of things When the guy on my left struggled with his identity His own dad leaves but mine stays right there Has a breakthrough and now he understands

Despite the shit he did to me Blaming me excessively Thin-veiled comments about my style Or makeup and clothes and all that kind

He accepts him for who he is, but never me Wasn’t there to watch it happen But now it doesn’t fucking matter Because he never cared, not about anything

Left me out to dry when I needed him the most When I wasn’t useful anymore he ditched me, but at what cost? Berated, terrorized and emotionally neglected me Don’t you dare to do it anymore

And so the movie ends The story finishes Now press the button, play it on repeat

[tiredhawks]

He starts stealing and other petty crimes and gets money and a place and food and its NICE being in controll of your life its NICE not having to fight and grovel and scrape for the littlest bit

So he makes more "friends" and stops even trying engaging with other people

He gets lazy and entitled, he starts losing his hold on reality and all his clones are sick of being the ones doing the hard dirty work while the original lavishes and so they tie him up and kill eachother and he has to watch and he knows when a clone dissolves so he can feel them "die"

And what little reality he was still in touch with dissappears

Side note: part of what fucked vincent van gogh up so bad is that he was born one year to the day after a stillborn brother of the SAME NAME, his mom made him visit that brother's grave every day with her

So he was basically looking at his own grave his entire childhood

Twice got the live action 3d surround sound version of that

Now hes a mentally unstable cigarette smoking orphan, with a criminal record, no education and rapidly dwindling resources who hasnt had a real human friend in a decade

Pt 2/2

☆

This actually helps a lot because I guess my view of Twice was that he was really lonely because of his mental illness, and when the League took him in he devoted himself to them. What I didn't get was why that would compel him to make the "sacrifice" to hurt people. Like, the other villains were trying to change society one way or another, I saw Twice as someone wanting to protect the people he cared about. In a way it seemed like he already completed his goal of not being alone anymore, or even that he could find it elsewhere without doing what he was doing-

But he can't and his life has shown that. Having people to care about is his change to society. It's what they took from him and what he's taking back and keeping. He's fighting to protect those friends from the society that hurt him and make it so no one else will be abandoned like they were.

This actually makes what he said to Hawks hurt way worse now that I'm thinking about it that way, "it would be too sad not to". He didn't just feel bad for Hawks, what he wanted was that society didn't put anyone else in the position he used to be in, so he became Hawks' friend. He knew how it felt to be alone so even though it was risky, he couldn't do that to Hawks. Twice could never be just like the people that abandoned him. He wanted to be to Hawks what the League was to him.

If anyone wants to add comments thats fine I'm just thinking out loud. I'm new here.

[rubykgrant]

(So, I was looking at @bonkalore Moongene stuff again, and it reminded me of a whole DREAM I had a few years back while half-asleep with the Tangled series on, and some of it was also definitely influenced by her Tangled 2 story, which I still love) I think I was partially asleep during the weird episode with the memories, so I was partially aware that it was revealed that Cass was Gothel's daughter, etc... HOWEVER, my dream went in this other direction, where it was still a secret that Cass is ALSO from "another dimension".

That is, from a different time-line where something different happened with the flower, and so Gothel never knew Rapunzel at all (unclear if my dream decided Cass was her biological daughter, or just a kid she took in to do chores for her, whatever). I think Gothel was trying to get a "new version" of the flower, and she found the notes left by people who studied with Demanitus and Zhan Tiri, so in this time-line, Gothel tried to open a portal to a world where the flower still existed, but she was worried it was unstable, so she sent Cass in first to test it... the portal didn't stay open, and being in a dimension that wasn't her own caused little Cass to become disoriented and lost her memories.

The Gothel from that dimension presumably just withered away with no flower, but this was also going to be a big set-up for Cass feeling rejected; not that her mother, who literally kid-napped Rapunzel, didn't love her enough, but she was used for a DANGEROUS experiment, then disregarded, and trapped in a world where she technically hadn't been born. Slightly more intense Cass-angst. Anyway, that was all in my dream. Later, my imagination added more when I was awake, watching the finale of the series-

When things eventually come full-circle with Zhan Tiri, who herself was from a dimension that had no magic and such, and that's why she's so determined to consume as much as possible. When all that gets resolved, Cass decides to not only go on a quest for herself, but she wants to explore these other words (and I guess she got somebody like Varian to stabilize a portal for her to use, with safety precautions and what-not). This is was would turn into Cass finding other worlds where things were slightly different, or VASTLY different (like a world with no Eugene, so Rapunzel never left the tower. also, a world with no Rapunzel, and Eugene has lived a very painful life alone). Cass can't help but want to help her friends, even in these time-lines where they don't really know her. She also winds up helping lots of other people in general. She's just cool like that!

The problem is, being a universe-hopper who keeps changing history, this creates a weird ripple-effect in other dimensions Cass has been. She's spent the most time in the universe where Rapunzel and Eugene met, then fell in love, so it gets hit extra hard; now all the different potential out-comes from this world, had Cass never gone there to begin with, start over-lapping with reality. THAT is what creates the concept for Bonka's Tangled 2 scenario~

[mr-nauseam]

Watson Top 5

So I talked about making a top 5 of the best Watsons in my opinion (and clearly my favorites) a few days ago. I barely do it today because again my horrible class attacked and honestly doing this is more fun, so let's get started.

WARNING: A LOT OF TEXT BC I DONT KNOW HOW TO SHUP UP

Special mentions:

THE ONLY REASON WHY LUCY LIU AS JOAN WATSON IS NOT IN THE TOP 1 dominating everyone is because I still don't see elementary. Yes, is embarrassing, but I googled it and 7 seasons looks scary and heavy (I'm bad at seeing very long things, like my god if you only knew how long it took to see jojos or merlin) but soon I will see it and you mates will have to put up with my fangirl screams because it is written in the stars that I am going to fall in love with Joan. Another special mention goes to Jane Watson from My Dear Beloved Detective and god is INCREDIBLE, I LOVE HER, honestly what doesn't have this girl? undoubtedly one of the best Watsons who have touched this earth.

Have you noticed that the mentions are only the Watsons genderbender? It is because I would like to dedicate an exclusive post to them. It is curious (from what I have seen) how it seems that the creators can more easily balance the personality of the character when is a woman (the matter of the masculinity in Watson can be a thesis) but before saying more, I have to see all the adaptations where the female versions appear.

From here there is no one so relevant, I like Watson from Without a Clue bc is a comedy that makes me laugh a lot jsjsjs, I like Dwason, the Watson of Frowares dont look so bad and there are also others but nothing special, so now we go with the top wuuu.

5. Sherlock.

If I declared that this post was influenced by my personal taste, it was especially because of this. I was a great fan of the bbc series, now that I grew up I became familiar with concepts like queerbaiting, ableism, etc. The relationship I have with the series now is complicated, but even so I think that the interpretation of Freeman (let's ignore the existence of season 4 and still, he did quite well with what they gave to him) has some merits. Humor, moments of crisis, expressions, loyalty, dedication, etc. He's a screwed up Watson but interesting in his own way. (And if you like that kind of angst- bad things that give you a chance to fix it, this is ideal for that).

4. Ritchiverse.

Speaking of somewhat unstable boys, I must say that I feel this is one of the Watsons who knew better how to translate what we saw in the books about his character and to exploit certain sometimes ignored traits (Watson's impulsiveness and recklessness); On screen you understand without much trouble that Watson has a military past, that he has physical injuries that still affect his day to day, but that he does not feel incapable of getting into crazy adventures nor is he going to allow the people to treat him in that way, which is a doctor and a good one, his romance with Mary is one of the best, etc. They really paid attention to doing this boy, in addition to the small but great detail that Law is basically a drawing of Sidney brought to life (and my God he has a lot of Doyle too, which only gives him extra points).

3. Granada (the serie, not the fruit).

Yesterday I received divine illumination; us we know it (the change of actors) but in the universe of Granada that never happened, they are a single Watson and I love that idea! So the two David and Edward, what can I say that has not already been said? They are the perfect reflection of Watson's character in two very different stages of his life (pre and post Reichenbach), they have the charisma, the sassy side -sarcastic, compassion, loyalty, courage and determination, calm and wisdom and yyyy, oh, I love them a lot and basically they raised the status of doctor uwu a lot but they are in third place.

2. The adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson (better known as soviet or russia holmes eh)

One of the few adaptations where there are hugs, tears, affectionate cuddles, etc. Solomin has one of the most entertaining interpretations of the character, there is no scene that I saw, where I would not think "yes, here is an incredible Watson," this Watson is great with his episode full of suspicions towards Holmes, his expression when he discovers that the detective is not interested in knowing If we revolve around the sun. It achieve what for me is the best adaptation of HOUND and that says a lot about this Watson bc HOUND is the BOOK OF THE DOCTOR. You have a smart boy in his way, with his own strengths and weaknesses and he feels human, believable and adorable. They allowed him to have a complete heart and that is why he is the best of the best and he would be if only the position 1 does not exist.

1. Sherlock Holmes 2013. (THIS IS NOT CALLED NEW RUSSIAN HOLMES?)

If you are a fan of Watson, he is here, in this serie, the military guy, the doctor, the healer, the amazing human be, the writer, he is the dream version that was executed to perfection. The greatest success? fuck the canon, and even then, I don't think there is another Watson that feels so real as ironic as it may sound. They really worked hard to give a coherence, a sense and a total meaning to Watson's actions, they explore well the reasons of all those failures and the development that the character has is wuah, I really don't know what word use that encompass everything, maybe satisfactory? Because everything feels good here with Andrei Panin and even so it feels like something else is missing in my description maybe you have to see it to understand it.

[favberrys]

I'm bored and in a kkg brainrot mood, so i'm just gonna rant about my opinions of kakegurui ships and i will make some headcanons:

Kirasaya

Ok i had to start with them bc they're just too iconic, i think they have one of the most interesting and complex dynamics in kkg, they really got me obsessed with them, it's probably my number one kakegurui ship and the reason i started watching the show and reading the manga. Honestly yeah their relationship has some power imbalance, since sayaka is kirari's secretary, and is probably disfunctional, but contrary to what some ppl say kirasaya is not abusive, kirari never physically or emotionally abuses sayaka throughout the story. Anyway they're a 10/10, peak lesbian yearning, if they don't kiss at least one i will jump the author. Probably one of my fav ships ever, i think they're made for each other and i can't see kirasaya with anyone else, they're just so good together and their chemistry is >>>>>>

Yumary

Ok this one is kinda an unpopular opinion bc most people like yumary, but honestly i can't get invested into it, there's something in this ship that doesn't make my heart go "fuck yeah they should be gfs". Personally i don't ship yumeko with anyone bc i can't imagine her in a relationship since her main thing is being a compulsive gambler, her existence revolves around it and she forms relationships when they're useful for her gambling games. I think yumary could be friends with benefits for some time, but after a while mary would probably break it off because i don't think she can handle a sexual/romantic relationship with yumeko and after a while it would make her go nuts. A friendship between them is already messy and complicated and honestly i don't think they are compatible that way. Yes they have chemistry and there's probably some mutual attraction but to me it's a no. Also can cishet dudes stop fetishizing this ship ? My vote is 6/10, mostly bc mary doesn't seem much physically comfortable with yumeko, idk mary just seems off with her in that sense and i prefer them as gambling partners or friends.

Meariri

I honestly love this ship, especially after reading the manga, they have such an great dynamic, i think they both care about each other, they have chemistry and i think they're compatible and that their personalities compliment each other, mary is often loud and aggressive and passionate while ririka is more closed off and quiet, they're like fire and ice and this case i think the saying "opposite attract" works with them. Mary counts on ririka and i love the fact that she is so comfortable with her physically (mary is almost always the one to initiate the contact, holding her hand, touching her head, etc) and ririka gets inspired by mary to be her own person and chase her goals. Plus they're really cute together, aesthetically i find them the most attractive couple, i'll give them a solid 9/10

Itsukaede

Lmao i don't even know if this is the correct ship name for itsuki x kaede, ok i don't hate it and i think they could work as a couple, it's not my cup of tea bc m/f ships bore me, but i like their relationship, they have the kind of old married couple dynamic that always works. 6/10.

Ryomeko

I can see it happening, i don't ship it, but i don't mind it either, i'm kinda neutral about ryota x yumeko, but i think he's one of the ppl who care about yumeko the most in that academy (with also mary ofc), the ship is boring bc ryota is bland (he's a good guy don't get me wrong and he defo doesn't deserve the hate he gets) and as i said previously i don't ship yumeko with anyone. Sorry i gotta give it 5/6 out of 10

Yumedari

Ok i love midari but just like yumeko, i don't ship her with anyone bc i see her as someone who's too much unstable for relationships, but i know that canonically she loves/likes/is attracted to yumeko so i don't hate this ship, i think it's decent, the only problem is that yumeko hates midari. Still i think that since they're the most insane mfs in that school somehow this ship could work. 6/10

Yuridari

Again midari in my eyes is kinda unshippable, but this ship is not bad at all, they would have that kind of bickering married couple dynamic like itsuki and kaede, i like it but it doesn't do much for me. 7/10

Ryomary

Jsjssjsksk i looked the name of mary x ryota's ship on wiki so if it sounds weird it's bc i don't know their ship name and i have looked at the first site google gave me. This ship is hard no, mainly bc ryota is very bland and i consider mary a lesbian (i read that she is a canon lesbian but idk if it's confirmed by the author, let's say lesbian mary is just my hc) so shipping her with men feels like a hate crime to me, mary is for the girls only, 4/10.

Tsumary

They are kind of cute together right ? I think they're adorable, tsuzura is mary's first love and i think that someone like her would make mary very happy. I still haven't finished kkg twin, so my opinion on tsuzura is incompleted and it might change, i don't hate her but i find her character a little basic/boring so even though this ship is cute it doesn't make me fall in love with them. 7/10 bc probably also tsuzura had feelings for mary and they have a healthy dynamic, you can see they love each other.

Midasaya

I enjoy this crackship, i know that they both like different people but i headcanon that they were together during middle school or that midari had at least a small crush on sayaka during that time, before kirari came to hyakkaou i like to think that they explored their sexuality together so midari was probably sayaka's first kiss, her first date, etc, so they would have history together and we also see that midari knows sayaka bc her character is described through her pov during tower of doors. I find this ship pretty funny bc sayaka is always so serious and composed and midari is a ball of chaos. 7/10

Yumesaya

This is another crackship i don't mind and find hilarious, yeah i'm a huge kirasaya stan but i'm also a multishipper and sayaka deserves all the girls in the world, so the more the merrier. I like to think this ship as one sided love in which yumeko sort of pines after sayaka and i think it would be very interesting to see kirari being jeaulous that sayaka is getting yumeko's attention. We saw jeaulous/protective sayaka in kakegurui, but i would also like to see how kirari reacts when someone tries to take sayaka away from her, it would be really interesting. Obv this would create some tension between kirasaya and also between kirari and yumeko, almost a sort of love triangle dynamic. My opinion is that yumeko is just too unstable to settle down, also they both probably would get bored/lose interest in each other after the heat of the moment. 6/10

Ririsaya

Sorry but i really can't see it happening not even if i squint, but i really enjoy the ririsaya fanfictions and i think those works are pretty great even though i don't ship them very much. It would be interesting if both twins were in love with sayaka and there was some tension/coldness between them for a while bc they liked the same girl (maybe i read too many fanfictions). My headcanon is that both sayaka and ririka had a crush on each other when they first knew each other and for sayaka it was probably pretty confusing bc she already had feelings for kirari. I see them as friends, 7/10

Yumemisaori

Again idk if this is the correct name of the ship, many said that yumemi and saori are a healthier/mentally stable version of kirasaya and i agree. the dynamics are similar bc we have the secratary that is willing to do everything for her boss and the relationship is a little more balanced, i think they would be very cute together, but sadly they had very little interactions and if i could see more of them i would probably ship them even more. I like them 7/10.

Sachiko x Mary

I didn't even find a ship name for this couple, so they must be pretty unpopular, i like both characters and their antagonistic dyanamic is very interesting, but i don't ship them much bc i think mary needs/wants someone who is completely different from sachiko, who wants to make mary her pet and mary is someone who cares very much about her freedom, her indipendence and wants to make her own choices and this completely clashes with sachiko's extremely sadistic and domineering nature. I prefer them as enemies who have some sexual tension or enemies with benefits or one night stand adventure, but nothing more. 5/6 out of 10 bc the only mary ship i really love is meariri and i also like tsuzumary a bit.

Sachiko x Mikura

This is probably one of the most unhealthy relationships in kakegurui, but i kinda like it. Their dyanmic is pretty much vertical with sachiko who has all the power and makes mikuro do everything she wants and mikura who is completely obsessed and devoted to sachiko (my opinion is that she developed a sort of stockholm syndrome towards sachiko). I think that someone like sachiko could never have genuine romantic relationships bc of her extremely sadistic nature, she sees ppl like toys to break and what she enjoys the most is seeing ppl suffer, so the only compatible person with sachiko is someone extremely masochistic like mikura. Giving them a 6/7 out of 10 bc their interactions are fun/interesting and spice things up.

Rin x Ibara and Yumeko x Kirari

Hard no to both of them, i don't ship incest, yall can do what you want but personally it's a huge no for me. When i first started watching the anime at the beginning i thought yumeko and kirari had some sort of tension and could have been enemies to lovers (lmaoo i was so naive), but then i discovered they were cousins and i saw more kirasaya interactions so i got completely turned off by this ship. 3/10 to both of these ships.

Sachiko x Sakura

Now this ship is very sexy, idk why i like it but i do, yes i don't see sachiko with anyone besides mikura, but this pairing is not bad at all, even though it's a crackship. I think they would be rivals with benefits and would argue a lot and then make out/have hot sex. 7/10 (maybe it's too high but since these are just my opinions i won't be objective)

Mary x kirari

Uhm is there really someone out there who ships them ? Yeah i thought they had some sexual tension in s1 with that tea scene, but it's a no from me, i don't like it and i don't think they're compatible in any way, i can't see kirari with anyone who isn't sayaka. 4/10

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

chapter twenty two: i love you

previous  <  masterpost  >  next

note. i am sorry for the veeeery long wait; i finally finished it tonight (after fucking up with it for two whole months) but yeah, my emotions are quite unstable right now so this was affected by it (in short, this is a roller coaster ride so pls be ready)

playlist. stay (acoustic ver.); never let me go (both sung by ghostly kisses)

You absolutely had no idea what you were doing right now. As far as you could remember, you were the playwright, the writer of the script. You never had any interest in acting in plays, musicals, nor acting in general… none at all – so why is it that right now, you were standing right on the side of the stage, waiting for the cue for you to come out, dressed up as someone you weren’t supposed to be, someone you were only supposed to have written for?

You swear, this was the most chaotic crowd you have ever seen your whole life. You only watched, alongside Hajime, as people lined up right by the entrance of the university’s theater, murmuring and gossiping about the play that was less than an hour away from starting, “I gotta say, they look way too excited for a story that they should know like the back of their hands by now. It’s kind of funny,” Hajime chuckled, letting out a quiet ‘yeah’ as he shoved his hands in his pockets, watching you cringe on the girls that were obviously here for your best friend. You swore you heard one of them say they’re going to ask him out after the play and you almost wanted to drag her out of the venue by her hair.

“I would say it would be a waste of a ticket for people who are here just to gush about handsome faces instead of the story itself but then again, it’s us who are benefiting from it anyway.” You huffed and muttered a few more things under your breath, beginning to walk to the direction of the entrance for the crew members which was on the farther side of the theater, Hajime silently following and shaking his head out of amusement for your obvious jealousy. I can’t wait for the time when it’s me you’re being jealous for, he thinks.

You thought the crowd outside was chaotic? Nothing could have prepared you for the view you were welcomed to as soon as you entered the backstage. Literally, almost all of the crew members were running around frantically, pushing the small and large props here and there. Hajime, as if he had his ‘danger’ instincts set on, grabbed you by the waist and pulled you to his side just right when a random lad passed by where you were at a while ago, struggling to carry what looked like a heavy log on his shoulder (you figured it would be for one of the scenes that were supposed to be in the forest). You were sure as hell that if you weren’t moved out of the way by your friend, the lad would’ve collided with you and that thing he was holding would’ve fell on you because he was too busy looking back and chatting with his companion who was carrying other props.

Irritated by their carelessness, Hajime clicked his tongue and spoke up, “Oi, you two have to be careful and watch where you’re going. You might just cause an accident with what you’re doing.” The boys replied with an insincere apology, immediately going back to their business. You were soon brought to your senses as well and realized that you were still in his arms. Blushing profusely, you muttered a quiet ‘thanks,’ too flustered to think of a more decent reply. Hajime raised an eyebrow, smirking before leaning his head close to yours again, foreheads touching each other, much like the other day.

“You’re red. Are you feeling sick?” If it was someone he wasn’t close with, it would look like he’s just being concerned but you know better because you can practically hear the teasing behind his voice, so, you punched him right by his shoulders, muttering with a hint of shyness in your tone, “Asshole. Stop trying to tease me, it’s way too much for me. When the fuck did you even get so brave to act like this with me? Jerk.”

He cackled, slinging his arm around your shoulder, and beginning to pull you deeper inside the backstage. You both stood idly by the corner of the backstage, watching the actors get ready. From your position, you could see your blonde best friend, eyes looking lost as they wandered around the area until it stopped right to where you were. You think you held a staring contest for about twenty seconds until your companion spoke up, “You know, I personally think it would be better if you go to him and say your good luck, yeah? Nothing’s going to happen if you just stare at each other all day. I’m willing to share you with him… just for today though. After this, no more.” 

A confused expression formed on your face, wondering what he meant, though he just snickered and ruffled your head, “I said… go to him before I change my mind and pull you away from here.”

“I can’t. These days, I’ve been feeling way too many feelings and I don’t know how to control them. I feel like… I might just burst and tell him everything but I don’t want to. I’m not ready yet,” you admitted, fiddling with your fingers as you looked down, only for your head to be raised up again as Hajime held it up using your chin, a tender smile plastered on his face.

“Tell you what… if you lose control and everything goes astray, just look at me and I’ll save you, like a knight-in-shining-armor,” he whispers, patting you on the head before pushing you towards your best friend who was still looking, by the way. You took a deep breath, stopping right in front of him, biting your lip before opening your mouth to say something but Atsumu beat you to it, arms immediately going around your form and pulling you into a bone-crushing hug, “I’m sorry,” He mumbles into your hair, while you nod, reciprocating the gesture, “I… I’ve been such a shitty best friend, huh?”

“Yeah, right,” You huffed, trying to look mad and intimidating but it only came off as cute in Atsumu’s vocabulary, “After this, I’ll treat you to this really good restaurant. We can talk about anything and everything you want to tell me, even if they’re bad, I’ll listen, yeah?” He suggested, his hold on you still not loosening as he looked down on you, “I’d prefer it if only good things come out of your pretty mouth though.” 

You rolled your eyes, getting ready to retort as usual but a loud crash and a cry of pain interrupted you. Looking to the source of the sound, your eyes, as well as Atsumu’s widened. You can only watch as Yui, who was on the floor, clutching her ankles, angrily screech at the boy who was bowing his head and apologizing, the large piece of wood you luckily avoided a while ago found its victim and it’s the main actress of the play, “What the fuck! Why weren’t you watching where you’re going?! Look at what you did!”

Your best friend jogged towards her and once again, you were left behind. Love seriously sucks, you thought as you watch him try to shush Yui’s cries. The director, who heard about the situation, ran to where you are, asking what happened. “I think her ankles are injured, Miyu-chan,” you quickly replied, anxiety beginning to arise within you because what was supposed to happen now? You can’t cancel this play; you all have been working for months for this! Besides, the theater must be full of the audience now. As if she was reading your mind, she spoke up, “We can’t cancel this now, but we can’t force her to act as well. She can barely stand up, look. Mina, tell Mari to ask the audience to wait for a little while more, we have to think of a solution.”

By now, Atsumu was supporting her, making their way towards you with Yui limping, “Miyu-san…” “No, Yui. I know what you’re going to say but I won’t let you do that. Go to the infirmary and have your ankles checked. Your well-being is more important than this play,” the director firmly said, much to the brown-haired girl’s dismay.

“But you can’t cancel it! The people who bought the tickets will get mad! I can do this, it barely hurts, Miyu-san!” Yui pleaded, even going as far lifting her injured foot in a pathetic attempt to show that she was fine but it only put her to a worse situation as soon as she winced. Miyu only gave her a look of ‘I told you so.’ 

“Don’t worry about the play, Yui-chan. YN can replace you in your role.”

“What?!” “WHAT?” You simultaneously yelled out, obviously not expecting the sudden decision to be made, much less one that has something to do with you, “Wait, wait, wait… Miyu-chan, aren’t you being a little rash right now? I’m not a good actress!”

“She’s right!” Yui scoffed, “I’ve been practicing this for so long and you’re going to replace me with someone who never did?!” 

“That’s right,” Miyu nodded, crossing her arms, “She knows the script and the lines better than anyone here. And don’t try to fool me, YN, you know you can act.” Her unrelenting eyes told you that she knew everything there was to know; she’s been your friend for more than a year now, after all. 

“Oh, well. You won’t change my mind no matter what you say, so just go, Yui. Iwaizumi-kun, sorry for this sudden request but can you take Yui to the infirmary after what we’re going to do?” Hajime blinked but nodded, nonetheless. He feels somewhat sorry for the brunette who was on the verge of tears as she was helped by the crew members into one of the changing rooms to undress her costume.

It’s definitely not the first time in your life but you felt like vomiting the breakfast you had this morning.

You already lost count of how many times you took a deep breath in hopes that your heart will calm down. You listened as Mari neared the end of her welcoming rites and speech for the play, placing your hands on your chest as a final attempt to get tranquility within. The fairytale-like background music began to play and soon, a younger version of your character appeared on the stage; it’s the beginning of your Cinderella play. To be honest, you don’t even know where they got that child actress and how they managed to convince her to join the play but right now, you couldn’t care less because all you’re thinking of right now is how to not mess up your lines and deliver them with the proper emotions. 

Your brother, Osamu, Tooru, Makki and Mattsun, who you were sure as hell were in the audience, will never let you hear the end of it if you mess this up. You don’t want to live the rest of your days in Japan being a laughingstock. No way, you refu–

“You’re thinking too much about it. Calm down,” A voice from behind you interrupted, hands beginning to massage your shoulders to get your stiff muscles to relax. Turning around, you were met with the one and only Miya Atsumu in a prince costume. Right there and then, you felt like your heart’s going to burst for a different reason this time. 

Goodness heavens, Lord Jesus, thank you for blessing me with this beautiful man and letting me meet him, you thought as you savored the view in front of you, also thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Miya  for successfully creating Atsumu and delivering him to the Earth, it must have difficult to produce such fine masterpiece.

“Ya look… beautiful,” the blonde mutters, a hand rubbing his nape and sheepishly grinning, a slight blush adorning his cheeks, “Ya should dress up yourself from time to time, yanno? It really suits you.”

“Gee, thanks for calling me ugly on my normal days,” you scoffed, giggling when he let out a sound of disagreement, “No! That’s not what I meant, idiot!”

“I know.” 

Before you can continue your conversation, the signal for you to come out is finally closing in as the “stepsisters” appeared onstage. Rather shakily, you took a step forward, almost tripping on your dress due to your nerves. You were fortunate that Atsumu was attentive enough to grab your wrist, “YN, I told you to calm down.”

You gulped, nodding and taking a deep breath. He smiled upon seeing the determined look on your face and for some reason, his body moved on its own - placing a hand on your cheek with his thumb rubbing it, he approached you and placed his lips on your forehead. Maybe it’s because you were so nervous or maybe it’s because you longed for this moment for almost your whole life. Whatever the reason is, you just find yourself tearing up a little bit as he whispers, “That’s my girl.”

Never in your life had you wished that time can stop this much before. As you stood still in Atsumu’s embrace, you felt your heart being squeezed with so much love yet pain at the same time. How is it that he’s so close yet he’s someone you can’t have? 

“I love you, Atsumu,” you tell him, eyes still watery; heart hoping that it reaches him, that he picks up the meaning behind your words. But he doesn’t, as he stops to look at you, he squints his eyes in a joking manner as he speaks, “Hey, why do you look so emotional today?”

Disappointment grows in the depths of your whole being, though you don’t show him that. Because perhaps this was enough, you can try again another day. You’ll try and try until he finally understands. You can do that… you’ve been holding on pretty well the past fifteen years, so you huff instead, ignoring the painful thump of your heart, “Nothing, you jerk! Is it really that weird to hear me say I love you to you, hah?!”

You hear the dialogue of one of the stepsisters, calling out as your cue. You start to trudge forward but before you could fully go, he replies, “I love you too, YN, always remember that although I’m so shitty sometimes.”

Yeah, this is enough for now.

Perhaps, you shouldn’t have been so confident in saying that; you should’ve just been straight to the point because nothing has ever compared to the agony engulfing your insides as Miya Atsumu sat in front of you in a random booth of a restaurant, speaking the words you’ve always dreaded to hear as a Moira and as his very own soulmate, “YN, I think I’m done waiting for my soulmate. Can’t you just cut my thread off please?”

[bitchassbucky]

.zip

Word Count: 2k

Warning/s: toxic/abusive relationship dynamics, gaslighting and manipulation, abduction, injuries were mentioned, stalking, dark!bucky x dark!reader, emotionally/mentally unstable!reader, dismemberment (not gore-y but still), three very special character mentions, shady corporate stuff, career sabotage?, food mention, sedation/drugging, f-words.

A/N: oh my god, this is the final chapter of CTRL. to all who read from the start, thank y'all so fucking much - from the bottom of my big-ass heart, thank you so much for coming along with this journey. this is my first FINISHED series, oh my god. to @babyboibucky (CTRL's number one fan), @sarge-barnes-sir, and @borikenlove thank you so much for indulging my inner degenerate GHJSDFG and for screaming (affectionately) at me when i first let y'all read the finished draft.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE END (just yet), i will be uploading TWO epilogues very soon: the explicit version and the not-so-explicit version. stay tuned!

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

epilogue:

.eps (explicit)

.eps (cut)

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Your demeanor, character, even tone, changed.

Calculated, cold, unnerving.

But you sat there like a housewife in front of her husband, eating spaghetti and meatballs. Acting all dandy like there isn’t a man strapped onto the chair four feet away from you.

“C’mon, darling, eat! I made your favorite,” your eyes twinkled as Bucky helplessly tugged on his restraints, “oh, sorry, you’re tied up.”

Hm, sick in the head, bad for the heart.

“What do you want?” Oh, wow, even talking hurts for him. His throat is all dried up, he tasted something bitter under his tongue.

You chuckled, moving half a meatball around your mostly empty plate, “for you to stop treating me like I’m stupid.” You spear the meat with your fork, swirling it in the sauce, “I know you’ve been… checking in on me, Bucky.”

Oh, fuck.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was-- I mean, look at you--” He’s making it worse. You’re mad. You’re angry because he was being a good friend.

He only did that because you were lonely and he’s right: you are lonely.

So lonely that you’re willing to kidnap a grown man to keep you company, “I’m so sad for you.”

“You’re aware you’re the one’s been tied up, right?” You’re curt as you should be, scooting over near Bucky to feed him.

“I can’t eat that—” If he wasn’t sitting down and tied, Bucky would’ve vaulted over you and called the neighbors, she’s fucking crazy!

You giggled, rolling your eyes as if he had the freedom to make a choice right now, “if you’re thinking of screaming… More than half of my neighbors are felons or on parole, I doubt that they’ll call 911.”

Jutting forward the fork, you let the prongs gently touch Bucky’s lips, “now, eat! We have so much to talk about.”

“No. I don’t-- I’m not hungry.” He shakes his head, the fork hitting his chin and clanking down the floor.

“Just eat the fucking food, Steve!”

Bucky flinched at your sudden outburst. The words—the name—seeping in a moment later. Steve? Who the hell is Steve? Was he your husband? Boyfriend? His head throbbed again, his mouth filling with saliva like he’s about to throw up.

You kneel down, pulling a napkin from the table to wipe the meat and the sauce from the floor.

“This better not stain.”

—

He promised thrice.

Once over pasta and meatballs, once over dessert, and once when you were clearing the table.

You relented, of course. Half because you love him and half because it’s getting annoying.

“As long as you don’t leave me, okay?”

“Yes, I promise. I won’t leave you.”

Bucky’s still seating on the dinner chair, slightly slumped without the ropes holding him up, “look, I’m really sorry about the anesthetic, I went overboard with it.” You look over to him—at least he’s regaining his fingers and arms again.

“It’s okay, babe, I wouldn’t trust me either.” If he could stand up, he’d go over and hug you. Helping with the dishes, peppering you with sweet kisses.

A genuine laugh slips out of your lips, “ugh, still… I’m really sorry.”

The last of the plates were neatly stacked, cups and cutleries were placed gently on a drying rack. It was getting late, you could tell.

“I’m not mad, by the way.” You muse, prompting Bucky to lean forward, listening to you.

“What do you mean?” He takes your hand into his, ever so gently.

“You did that,” you squeeze his hand back, gazing into his soulful eyes, “because you love me.”

Did you know that some people could read microexpressions well? Bucky went through a whole lot of them before answering, “of course, I do.”

Contemplating whether you call him out on it or not, you hum, placing a gentle hand on his jaw, “it’s okay, you’ll learn how to love me.”

He has to. He has no other choice.

Bucky clears his throat, “have you seen my phone?” His tone was hopeful, upbeat, maybe he can reach out to someone, anyone, before you can do any more damage.

“Yeah, ‘s on the couch.”

He tried to move, he really did. Bucky’s fairly strong, he can bench an easy 140 on a good day. But even the beefiest motherfuckers have no match for Propofol.

“Don’t worry about your friends, they’re not worried about you, Buck.” The coolness of your tone sends Bucky into a panic—again. “D’you wanna check your messages though? There’s a lot of ‘em.”

Grabbing his phone, you asked Siri to read him his latest notifications.

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

From Joaquin: Where are you, man?

From John W.: Do you have copies?

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

Urgent: Gross Misconduct

From Joaquin: Bucky, what the fuck?

From Samuel Wilson: Pick up the phone, Barnes. You’re fired.

17 missed calls from an unknown number

From John W.: I knew you were a freak but holy shit, dude!

72 text messages from an unknown number

Bucky never really liked horror movies. It made him jumpy and anxious. Too paranoid, even. But now? Now he’s sure that people have never experienced sheer fright before.

His toes cramped inside his boots, his feet were cold, sweating. The little hairs on his legs stood up, goosebumps littering the entirety of his body. If he held his breath, he’s sure he could hear his heart hammering out of his chest. The blood rushes past his ears and onto the base of his skull—he’s gonna be sick.

“What,” he gulped back the saliva pooling in his mouth, “what did you do?”

You’re irritatingly calm, “well, I mean… We’re already together, what do you need those for, right?”

Putting a warm hand over his forehead, you cooed, “poor thing, you look sick.”

—

Bucky thinks it’s well past midnight when the anesthetic wore off.

His limbs were heavy, he had to lean on the wall every couple of steps to regain his balance. Helpless. He’s helpless and you both know it. As if it’s a bear trap, Bucky carefully took his phone from the coffee table.

Why would you leave it unattended?

The screen lights up as soon as he picked up, his lock screen littered with ‘fuck yous’, ‘sicko’, and his personal favorite, ‘motherfucker.’

Ignoring the glaring messages, he went straight for the emergency dialler and—you took out his SIM card, snapping it into two neat pieces, placing it beside the phone.

Bitch.

The golden surface of the card was scratched too, he can’t do anything, use it as a toothpick, maybe? His phone was just as good as a paperweight.

He looks out of the window, limping towards it. Even if he could climb over, it would take him forever to get onto the street. Your neighbors would probably think that he’s just on a bad trip.

“It’s bolted shut. Perks of living alone as a single female.” Your voice made him flinch back, like a kid whose hand was halfway down the cookie jar.

Bucky plays it off with a cough, he can’t be weak now, “no, babe, I was checking out a noise. You ready for bed?”

You smiled softly, taking his hand and draping his arm on your shoulders as you prop him against you, “almost, big guy. Gotta get you settled in bed first. Are you tired?”

Nodding, Bucky kisses your temple, “yeah.” He just needs to play with your sick little games until he regains his strength.

Where would he go? His reputation and his job are besmirched, his apartment is probably crawling with forensics too.

“You fell down and banged your head earlier. Nasty cut on your head too. I told you to not tire yourself much.”

You hit and drugged me but I digress, “Yes, darling. ‘M sorry.”

“You scared me, Buck. I thought you were dead.” Are these tears forming in your eyes?

“I’m not leaving you, not by any chance. I promise.”

He promises a fourth time.

—

Your bedroom was bigger than he thought. But of course, he only saw your desk and your bed through the webcam.

Save from the Ted Bundy-esque corkboard you have in front of your workspace, he feels weirdly at home. You tucked him in, reminding him to wake up every two hours for the painkillers.

“You’re not going to bed?” He muses from behind you, all cocooned in your blankets.

“Just need to take this phone call real quick, babe.” Your back was turned from him as you work on your company laptop. He noticed that the webcam is covered with white tape.

The sound of an incoming call filled the room before you quickly answer it, your voice turning hoarse and raspy as if you’ve been crying.

Hi, Mr. Wilson. I’m so sorry for the late call. Do I- do I need to come in tomorrow? I just... I don’t feel comfortable facing everyone—I used all my home hours this week and—

Miss L/N, I’m glad you reached out to me. Is it okay if I record this call for security purposes? It’s just for you, me, and the HR department.

You turned to Bucky, your face is stone-cold but your voice belonged to someone so utterly helpless.

No, you don’t have to call into work tomorrow… Or any other day.

A dainty gasp and a fucking sob comes out of your mouth, your eyes were telling a different story.

Am I fired?

God, no. Please, Miss L/N, don’t worry about that. We want you with us through this entire debacle. We want you to take some time off—paid. We’ll also grant you… a grievance package.

You could almost hear what he would say next.

As long as you don’t talk to any members of the press or any journalists until our friends in the PR department can clean this up.

A triumphant smile creeps on your bare features, putting a finger in front of your lips, you mimic a ‘shh’ gesture to Bucky.

You round up another mirthless sob as the CEO drones on about the bureaucracy of this whole thing.

He was really nice to me, you know? He took me out on dinners and lunches. He even brought me to his place and I– nothing happened but I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m really sorry, Miss L/N. I thought he was…

A good guy? I really thought so too.

Please stay offline for a bit, just for the weekend, alright? Someone from the HR department will be in touch with you for the process. We don’t wanna be a hassle more than what Barnes is. On our behalf, please accept our deepest apologies.

Jesus, this guy had the PR department cook up an apology letter.

Thank you—thank you so much, Mr. Wilson. I’ll keep in touch.

You burst out in laughter a second after the call ended. Hearty laughter, the one where you can feel your belly tightening.

“Did you hear how good I was, baby? Oh my god, we had them fooled.”

We? Fuck your ‘we.’

You slide over the covers, propping up yourself with your elbow as you turn to face Bucky, “don’t worry, you don’t need them anymore. You have me, yeah? We have each other.”

—

Out of the most bizarre things that happened to him last week, finding dismembered fingers in the fridge was the least of his concerns.

“Honey!” Bucky calls out, holding the ziplock bag with a pair of tongs.

You bound down the stairs, your laptop in hand as you squint, “what am I looking at?”

Bucky hesitated, maybe he’s going insane too, “fingers. Dismembered fingers—are these yours?”

Setting down the laptop onto the table, you peck him on the cheek, smiling as if him holding a baggie with human remains is just your Sunday normal, “god, I hope not. I need my hands to do things.”

As soon as you look back at him, you dropped the facade: “those are Steve’s. Well, used to be.”

Bucky’s afraid to ask the question where’s the rest of him?

“You know the term pinky promise, right? Well, it has a dark origin.”

Just as fast as a bustling train, Bucky rakes his brain for all the times he promised you something. Hoping that he won’t end up with a stump for a hand.

One vividly bright memory is seared into his brain though, the days blurred together with sharp edges and mismatched colors: we love how we were taught to love.

So, who taught you how to love like this?

[makeste]

A theory I have seen is that Fuyumi wants the family back so desperately, because she and Toya experienced the better Endeavor, where everything was alright. My guess is that after his decent into abuse its stopped being like a normal family and Natsuo and Shoto never experienced a normal family. But that is just a therory

okay so speaking as someone who grew up with an abusive and neglectful parent (though in my case it was my mom rather than my dad)... it’s complicated. there are a lot of emotions there. I think one of the things Horikoshi has really excelled at with the whole Todoroki plot is the way that he’s used the four siblings to show the different ways that children respond to parental abuse. and I can say from personal experience that all of them are valid. not just the bitterness, anger, and resentment that Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto have all shown at times, but also that intense (but tentative, almost wishful-thinking) longing to just have a normal family that we see from Fuyumi. speaking again from experience, that last one isn’t an outlier at all. in fact, in my case, I’d say that was honestly the strongest feeling out of all of them, and it even fueled a lot of the other three emotions. btw just a heads up I’m gonna delve into some personal stuff here briefly, so yeah. I won’t put details, but if anyone wants an abuse trigger warning added to the post or anything like that, just let me know.

so the thing is, even during my angriest times, if some magic wish-granting genie had poofed in and told the child me, “’sup, I’m here to solve all of your family problems, just tell me what you want me to do,” I wouldn’t have wanted them to take my mom away and lock her up somewhere and make her suffer or anything like that. honestly, even during the worst of it, the thing I wanted more than anything else was just to have a normal family. my mom had a lot of untreated mental health issues, and it was basically a situation where you never knew which version of her you were going to get on any given day. so there were times when she was a kind and loving mother who took care of me and my siblings. and there were a great many more times when she was temperamental and erratic, and we all (my dad included) basically just walked on eggshells around her and did our best to lay low and try not to bother her because even little things might set her off, and we never knew how she was going to react. and my dad worked a lot, and my sibs and I were homeschooled for reasons which I’m not gonna get into because this post is already veering off on too many tangents, but anyway so the short of it is that my sibs and I grew up in this unstable environment and ended up more or less raising ourselves. and I resented my mom a lot for that, growing up, and I still do honestly.

now a lot’s happened since then, and she’s gotten some help, and my siblings and I are all adults now and we’re more or less good, even though we all took a certain amount of Psychic Damage along the way and we’re each still dealing with that. and we each have different relationships with our mom now, and a couple of my sibs are even fairly close to her. but for my part, I pretty much have no relationship with her at all outside of seeing her a few times a year at family get-togethers and the like. the thing is, even though my mom did eventually (after a LOT of false starts and struggles and heartache) get some help, she’s never really shown remorse for what my siblings and I went through because of her. she’s never taken responsibility for any of it. she blames a lot of other people, and will go on long rants about all of the terrible things that have happened to her and all of the horrible ways people have treated her (some of which is true, and some of which very much is not). but there’s never even the slightest acknowledgement of any of the things she herself has done to hurt others. she either passes the blame or just pretends it never happened. 

and honestly, it sucks. even now, there’s little to no real desire to change on her part. she’s gotten therapy and meds now, and so emotionally she’s much more stable than when we were kids, but one of the unfortunate results is that it’s all the more clear now that a lot of her behavior never had anything to do with her mental illness at all. she just didn’t care at all about how she was hurting others; or at the very least, didn’t care to face it. and that’s just how it is.

anyway, so I’m sorry to keep breaking away and telling you guys my own life story lol. but the point I’m trying to get at here is that I actually relate to Fuyumi so much, though. what I wanted more than anything was for my mom to care, and to say she was sorry, and for me to be able to believe that and to trust her, and for her to actually change. that was it.

and so for me, here’s the biggest difference between the Endeavor situation, and my own and so many others. the difference is that unlike people in real life, we know Endeavor is actually remorseful for what he’s done. we know it for certain because we’ve seen it for ourselves, from his own point of view. the manga actually lets us get inside his head and shows us that he really is sincere, that he really is sorry, and that he really is trying to change. and that’s something that’s impossible to get in real life. that certainty that the person really means it, that they’re genuinely remorseful and committed to making amends.

and for me, that’s fucking wish fulfillment right there. for the abusive parent to finally realize the error of their ways and be sorry and try to do right by their kids. I fucking wanted that. hell, I still want it, even though I’ve made my peace with things the way that they are. that chance to somehow heal the broken relationship, and have your parent genuinely try their best to be a real parent to you, even if it’s years after the fact? shit. I’d take that in a heartbeat.

and so when it comes to Fuyumi and her attempts to get her family to reconcile and experience a few normal things, I f feel that. I really do. because when you’re growing up in that type of situation, normal is all that you want. and I don’t think it’s anything that requires an explanation on her part, because it’s not actually an unusual reaction at all. it’s natural. it’s the most natural thing in the world. honestly it’s annoying that fandom sometimes tries to shame her for having those feelings. like honestly, fuck that. because the thing is, I’d wager that almost every kid who grew up with an abusive parent has at some time or other felt the exact same way.

and that includes Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto as well. literally the only difference between them and Fuyumi is that they feel that Endeavor’s change of heart is simply coming too late. it’s not that they don’t want their family back, just like she does; it’s that from their point of view, it’s something they can’t get back. for Fuyumi, that dream of having a normal family is something she’s still seeking. for Natsuo and Touya, that dream of having a normal family is something that was destroyed. something that Endeavor killed. something they’re in mourning of. and so Touya wants revenge for it, and Natsuo is trying to pick himself up and move past it. and meanwhile Shouto is caught somewhere in the middle of all of those reactions, because he’s still trying to decide whether or not he can ever bring himself to trust his father again. he’s somewhere in between his brothers’ mourning and his sister’s hopefulness. sort of a Schrodinger type of deal lol.

but anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is that all four siblings are really experiencing the same thing, just in different ways. Fuyu may be the one arranging family dinners and the like, but that same longing to be part of a normal family is at the core of Natsuo, Shouto, and even Touya’s behavior as well. Natsuo’s hurt and resentment, and Touya’s spite and bitterness, come from being denied the thing they want. and Fuyu’s shaky attempts at reconciliation come from her desire to still obtain it somehow. but at the end of the day they’re the exact same feelings. and they all come from the same place.

anyways, hopefully that makes some kind of sense. basically, everyone is valid. Fuyu is valid, Natsu and Shouto are valid, and Touya is murdery which isn’t cool, but his feelings are still valid too nonetheless. hugs and therapy for the Todoroki children in 2021, Horikoshi. please and thank you.