#i know that feeling of like every time you lose someone in your life a part of you goes with them but I didn't realize how bad it was until

[princessbrunette]

OUUUUUUU PRINCESS DO WE GET THE SWEATY sexy NIGHTMARE SCENE IN THIS AU??????

꒰ა︵︵⊹︵︵ꨄ︎︵︵⊹︵︵૮꒱

how could i forget about it? now i don’t think jj would ever turn to the dark side the way anakin does, but i think he struggles in himself and not knowing if he’s truly ‘good’ to his core the way john b is — someone he sees as the ‘perfect’ jedi. because of these feelings, he often acts out — doing something canon!jj often resorts to, acting troublesome because it’s what everyone expects of him already (the jedi council, his peers etc). however, in more vulnerable moments — he suffers from deep fear that his lack in being a ‘good’ jedi will result in losing those he cares for.

thinking specifically about jedi knight bodyguard jj staying in your room in your palace on naboo, sharing the bed with you because you’d been too frightened to sleep alone — worried about being taken in the night after rumours had surfaced regarding you being a target, hence being assigned a jedi knight.

you’d bonded over the passing weeks, showing jj your way of life and discussing politics over dinner each night. he was brash, reckless, bordering on crass with the way he spoke and the way his eyes lingered, all things you expected a jedi not to be— but you can’t say you hated it. tensions had bubbled, and despite this crossing every rule, jj had started to develop feelings for you.

now, beside you in bed whilst you dream peacefully — he pants, shirtless and sweaty as his dreams plague him, visions of you being taken and slaughtered before his very eyes, all because he let his own issues obstruct what is meant to be a clear jedi mind. when he snaps himself out of his nightmare, sitting up abruptly in bed breathing loudly and heavily, you stir— rolling over and blinking yourself awake.

“jj?” you croak, but he can’t seem to hear you over the blood pumping through his ears. he pushes the bed covers off him, sitting off the side of the bed with his elbows leaning on his knees, head hung. you repeat his name, and this time he jumps a little, craning his head to look at you.

“oh uh— yeah i’m good… i’m good, you go back t’sleep, sunshine.” he rasps, eyes flickering away from yours because he can’t stand the adorable furrow of concern in your brow. he was meant to be the strong one here.

rejecting this suggestion, you crawl up the bed in your nightgown to sit at his side, fingers hesitating before grazing his bare sweaty back. his skin glows beneath the moonlight coming through your large windows. it was a real shame jedi weren’t allowed to form attachment.

“did you have a night terror?” you hum, eyes trailing over his side profile. he continues to stare downwards, tonguing at his cheek as if he was too ashamed to act solemnly before he glances your way again, pulling a hand through matted blonde hair.

“it happens. just gotta… catch my breath n’stuff.” he dismisses and you sigh out your nose.

“lay back down,”

“i just gotta—”

“with me.”

his mouth turns downwards when he peers over at you, eyeing you in thought. doing so would be indulging, not at all obstructing the inevitable forming of attachment he was experiencing. but after all, jedi aside — he was just a man. he couldn’t help but crave a soft hand that hadn’t been coarsened by war.

“right… f’sure.” he nods quietly before awkwardly easing back down on the bed, propped up by pillows. he clears his throat, lips pressed together as you sit, simply watching him for a moment before gently laying yourself against his chest, pulling the silk blanket up over you both.

“now sleep, jedi. i won’t tell anyone.” he feels your smile push your cheek up against his chest and he feels himself relaxing against the bed. it had been a while since he’d felt this content, and it was terrifying him.

a moment or so passes, and he feels himself tense up a little — almost like he wanted to sit up. he’d had plenty of one night stands in the lower rim of coruscant. sure it was frowned upon but atleast he knew that wasn’t quite forbidden. this however was different, intimate, he didn’t know how to act.

“look i don’t know if i can just go back to sleep right now. that was pretty intense n’i don’t wanna wake you up if i just suddenly freak out again, you know? maybe it’s best if i just…uh… what’cha doing?” he trails off when your fingers slide down his toned abdomen and begin to tug ever so lightly at the waistband of his black sleep pants.

“i know you’re a jedi but you’re still a man. isn’t there some way i can… relax you?” you tilt your head upwards, blinking up at him sleepily with doe eyes that could only belong to a princess. as you do so, your gentle hand slides over his length which jumps beneath your palm through the fabric before slotting your fingers into his waistband.

“m-mmmaker okay— uh, are you sure this is— y’know i don’t wanna—”

“c’mon, jj… let me help you? even jedi’s need a little relief sometimes. like i said…” he quickly begins to harden as you play with him beneath his pants, pressing your tits through your night gown against his side. he’s paralysed in pleasure, only able to stare down at you with wide blue eyes. “i wont tell a soul.”

꒰ა︵︵⊹︵︵ꨄ︎︵︵⊹︵︵૮꒱

[r0-boat]

Would you be willing to write something about the kings finding out the mc has chronic pain? Specially nonstop headache type of thing, like they find out after a run in with someone from paradise lost. Basically the mc getting called out for hiding something from them

This is so interesting thank you for letting me write this!

Please let me know if I get any thing wrong stuff like this makes me nervous to write, but I still try anyway!

Whb Kings reaction: Mc with a chronic pain

Sfw a little angs

Mc's chronic pain comes from headaches

Terrified. Utterly terrified. He's already scared enough because one day he feels like he will just lose control of his rage and hurt you. Every time he sees you in pain He just wants to take out his rage somewhere else. Rage that he can't do anything, rage because you're suffering, wrath because he knows angels will use this weakness in some way.

Satan

Is he overreacting? Perhaps. But it comes from a place of worry and genuinely cares about you. He acts like a pissed-off cat when he finds out you've been hiding it from him, sitting crisscross, his arms folded, staring blankly at a wall in the corner, not speaking to you until you apologize. He doesn't like that Lucifer is pretty much The only one able to help you, but he doesn't trust anyone more than Lucifer for your health, so he's probably going to get over it.

Mammon

He doesn't quite understand why you kept this from him. His pride is mostly more broken than his feelings. He takes great pride in taking care of you in all your needs. All of them. He cannot take care of your needs when he does not know. You must tell him everything from now on please...

"are you sure there is no immediate cure? I'm sure there is something no matter how expensive I shall cover for it."

A proposal you adamantly declined. Mammon pouted, but thankfully did not pester you further. If it wasn't for Lucifer having all your health care already free Mammon would surely cover.

Salty little worm, but puts aside his salt for the sake of your health. But he must come to all your visits. He has to be in the room with you at all times, glued to your side like your shadow. He must know everything about your health from now on. Your punishment for keeping this from him!! He must know everything that Lucifer knows EVERYTHING. 70% is because he wants to help you when something happens. The other 30% is because he wants to be the closest one in your life and is jealous of Lucifer because he knows more about human anatomy and can be the only one who can help you, but he can't do anything about it. After all, he needs Lucifer because he is pretty much the only doctor who can help you who knows about humans. But that doesn't mean he can't voice his complaints.

Leviathan

And oh he will every visit grumbling something about something about anything.

He understands why you kept it from him. He straight up says "it's okay your secret safe with me I'll forget it 5 minutes later anyway."

Beelzebub

At least he remembers that you need to see Lucifer every now and then, and his subordinates make sure they carry any painkillers or any prescription you need. Beelzebub makes doctor's visits and sitting in the waiting room a lot more fun, anyway. You can't help but laugh when you see him absolutely mesmerized by the fish tank. Bael has all of your scheduled appointments and each prescription down to the milligram memorized, and he will spam your phone if you have an upcoming appointment.

Lucifer

He already knows. He had been waiting for you to tell him. And once you tell him or try, he cuts you off and says, "I know."He knows more about human anatomy and is studying more about human health, mainly because of you. Of course, he would put you under a special microscope and be extra attentive to any signs of your health. You kind of forget that he is technically a doctor, and he can spot your health far better than you can.

Lucifer becomes extremely hovering, especially when it comes to your health. Sometimes it bores on nagging. But he just wants you to be healthy, humans are quite fragile and their life goes away in a blink of an eye He would do anything to make you live as long as you can.

[elllisaaa]

hi can u write bf hueningkai too please?

BF!KAI who, despite all the time you had spent together, is still shy around you sometimes, and is still absolutely smitten by your beauty.

kai is still hit by the realization that you're really his girlfriend sometimes, because how can someone as pretty and perfect and kind as you love him ? he doesn't know what he did in his past life to deserve that, but he's glad he got to wake up by your side every morning. that also means that he will never stop reminding you that he loves you : he needs to tell you at least five times a day, to cuddle and kiss as much as he can. sometimes he's even worried about smothering you with his affection a little too much, but you always make sure to remind him that you love him too. the smile on his face and faint blush on his cheeks when you whisper that you love him in between kisses may be the most effective way to fluster your boyfriend. that also means that kai is constantly complimenting and praising you. whenever you show him your outfits, he never fails to show you he appreciates them and the genuine smile on his face as he looks at you makes your heart melt.

"you're so gorgeous baby, how are you even real ?"

usually, when kai is a little down, he prefers to be away from everyone else until it gets better. but since he met you, the only thing he need and seek when he had a bad day is the comfort of your embrace. he's not afraid to cry in front of you, and the fact that he trusts you enough to be vulnerable with you only strenghtened how much you care for him. he doesn't like it when his members are treating him like a baby or teasing him about that, but when it's you, he doesn't mind and he even likes it. but kai also wants to look dependable, and for you to not be afraid to come to him when you need something. and when you actually do - often to ask him to help you reach something on the higher shelves - he feels all giddy inside. but that doesn't stop him from teasing you and asking for a kiss in exchange for his service. also the type to hold things out of your reach and ask you to kiss him if you want it back with a smug smile, and then get shy about it once you do it.

"i won't give it back unless you give me a kiss." - "you asked for this kiss baby, don't get shy on me now." - "i'm not ! you lips are just really soft…"

kai doesn't really like to share his plushies collection, especially with his members because he's sure they would lose them. however, when you asked him to borrow one to keep you company while he was away on tour, he couldn't say no to your cute face, pouty lips and pleading, puppy eyes. he's incredibly weak for you. you only need to say "please" and be cute, and he'll cave in very easily. another thing about your boyfriend he's that he wants to see you always well fed and hydrated. so whenever you tell you didn't eat, he will buy food for you. there's no question about who pays when the two of you go out as it's always him. he feels so lucky to have an incredible girlfriend like you, he obviously has to spoil you. sometimes you don't know how to feel about all the gifts he's giving you, but he always insists that he's doing it because he loves you and because you deserve to be treated like the queen you are. his members are always making fun of him for being such a simp for you, but kai couldn't care less, he's proud of it even because every girl should be treated like this and especially you. and everytime he defends you in front of them, you can't help the smile taking over your face.

"you're all just jealous 'cause you are bitchless and i got the prettiest girl all for me."

BF!KAI who is treating you exactly the same way in the bedroom, putting your pleasure above his and everything else. your wishes are his commands.

nothing is too much for his girl, so kai is willing to do everything you want. want him to rail you into next week ? no problem. want him to be your good boy ? of course. however, and even if he's a little ashamed to admit it, he cums twice as fast when he's subbing. the way your voice deepens whenever you take the lead and ask him to jerk off in front of you before he can have your pussy turn him on quickly, getting hard in his pants every time you get more assertive, even when it's not directed to him. you could be scolding the waiter for messing up your order three times and he'll be watching you with lust in his eyes, squirming in his seat and dying to let you use his body and take your frustration out on him when you get back home at night. as much as you can be mean to him, he's nothing but good to you : only talking when he's allowed to, never breaking your rules, keeping his hands for himself when you ask him to. he wants to deserve your praises, to have to work for them. and he'll do absolutely anything for that. he'll eat you out to no end, and if he could die in between your thighs, he would be a happy man. he's also willing to beg, they come out of his mouth so easily it's almost pathetic.

"please baby, please let me taste your pretty cunt, i need it…" - "have you been a good boy hyuka ?" - "yes, yes, i didn't touch myself all week, i waited for you, i promise, please i need you so bad."

the thing that drives kai the most crazy is when you're wearing high socks paired up with a cute little skirt. if you want him to pop a boner on the spot, that's the perfect way to rail him up. whenever you put on a skirt to go out with him, he has to physically restrain himself from fucking you before getting out of the car. because the way the material is rising up whenever you want to get something on the higher shelves of the store you're in is almost giving him a peek of your ass. and of course he's gonna slide behind you to hide the view to everyone else, but you can feel his hot breath against your neck, and his semi hard-on pressing against the small of your back. these little hangouts always end up with some good sex in his car, windows fogged up for the way he has you bouncing on his dick, filling you up with his cum. kai can be a little perv sometimes, and he will have no shame stealing your high socks and panties when he has to go on tour, sniffling the tissue and jerking off while imagining it's you with him right now. he'll send you pics of the evidence of his crimes too, because if he's suffering, you have to suffer too.

"i wish you were there baby, wish it was your little cunt squeezing my dick, fuck ! i miss you so bad, need to ruin you…"

and i personaly think that kai would be easily jealous, but not in a toxic way, in a way that makes him crave to show everyone that he's yours, because he knows that you're fucking gorgeous and that anyone would want to have a chance with you. but you're his. and he's yours. and he needs to show you off. when he gets possessive like that, he's letting you know because he's getting so touchy and clingy, kissing you and letting his hands wander in some inapropriate places sometimes. the sex after that is really good, letting you know how pretty you are and reminding you that you belong to him through and through. besides, even if he doesn't mind you calling him baby, when his members are treating him like that, he despise it. whenever he gets frustrated like that, he needs to assert dominance and he fucks you rough at the dorm - head pushed down in to the pillow, pounding into you from behind, your whines echoing in his rooms and letting know all his hyungs how good he's fucking you. in these kinds of moment, his size kink drives him mad, seeing how easily he's able to throw you around without even trying. and the way you're crying his name from him calling you a desperate slut fuels his ego so much.

"you're clenching around me so tight baby, you love knowing they can all hear you, right ? yeah, i know you do. fucking slut going dumb for my big cock, uh ?"

[the-broken-pen]

Hello! Heard you were open for writing request? Had this idea in mind about a villain who's Russian and a hero who's falling for villain's accent? Maybe a bit of flirty banter as they fight 👀 your choice tho! Have a fun spring break ☀

The hero was pretty sure the villain was actually trying to kill them this time.

“Hey, don’t aim for the face, okay? It’s the money maker.”

The villain raised one eyebrow–and aimed for the hero’s face.

“Oh come on,” the hero groaned. “That’s just uncalled for.”

“Really? Is it now?”

If the hero had better judgment, they would have said something snarky back, or attempted to get the upper hand. Instead, in a move uncoordinated and wrought with embarrassment, they tripped over their own feet and blushed.

The hero was used to pretty. They were used to gorgeous.

But they had never expected to be attracted to someone’s accent of all things, and it was driving them mad.

“Yep, pretty sure it is,” they managed. They had to dodge halfway up the wall to avoid the villain’s next blow.

“You’re awfully chatty today,” the villain said, and the hero was going to lose their mind–

“Is this affection?” The hero blurted, and contemplated throwing themself off the building to spare both of them. “Because it feels like affection.”

“I don’t know,” the villain shrugged. Their mouth tipped up slightly, gone in a flash between one second and the next. “Do you want it to be?”

The hero froze. “You–I–” and found themself blinking up at the sky, the villain’s hand around their wrist. “Did you just judo flip me?” They wheezed, and the villain grinned.

“You’re blushing.”

“Yeah, because you just knocked the wind out of me. Excuse me for going red with oxygen loss–” the hero cut themself off with a cough, lungs protesting every word, and tugged the villain down to crash into the pavement beside them.

“Let me rephrase; You’ve been blushing this entire time.”

“It’s cold.”

“It’s July.”

“A very cold July.”

“If you’re going to lie,” the villain said, and truly, the hero was lucky they hadn’t had a knife pulled on them yet, “Do it well.”

The hero buckled the villain’s knees. Petty? Yes.

Satisfying? A good reprieve to try and get the blush that flared every time the villain spoke to subside? Also yes.

“Real smooth,” the villain rolled their eyes, pushing themself to their feet. “So, what is it.”

“Was that a question, or–”

“My winning personality?”

The villain was studying them with far too much care.

“Aren’t you supposed to be robbing a bank or something?” They said half-desperately.

“Smile? Laugh?” The villain paused for a moment, catching the hero’s punch as if it was nothing more than a mosquito–which was insulting, to say the least–before their face cleared of any confusion.

“Ah,” the villain said, and oh the hero was so screwed, because they knew that look. That look appeared regularly in their dreams. It was the villain’s signature ‘I figured something out and I’m going to use it to do nefarious things’ look. Their ‘I’m smarter than you and I’m about to prove it in an effortlessly ruthless maneuver’ look.

The hero saw it far too often.

“‘Ah’ what.”

The villain, damn them, grinned, releasing the hero’s hand.

“Accent.”

Any air that the hero had managed to regain after the judo flip escaped from them like they were a sinking ship.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“No,” the hero said, cursing every single moment of their life that had led up to this one. Maybe they really should have become a lawyer– “I’m just flabbergasted by how dumb that sentence was.”

Flabbergasted. Flabbergasted. Who the hell says flabbergasted?!

“This is cute,” the villain remarked as they drew a knife. They gestured with it towards the hero’s undoubtedly fire engine red face. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this flustered.”

“I’m not flustered, I’m–”

“Flabbergasted?” The villain suggested wryly, and truly, the fact that this situation was funny in a hopeless and pathetic way was not helping. The accent absolutely was not helping either.

The hero truly had nothing to say to that, staring at the villain, the two of them impromptu statues.

“You like me,” the villain teased. “And my accent.”

The hero was not proud of what they did next.

Considering their life, it wasn’t the worst thing they had ever done out of embarrassment.

A close second, though.

The villain smirked, and in a move far more elegant than they had ever thought themself possible, the hero slid under the villain’s arm, snagging the knife from the villain’s hand as they went—and planted it into the villain’s side.

The villain blinked, hand going to their side. The hero blushed—

Finally, in the single coherent thought they had managed in seemingly their entire life, they did something not embarrassingly pathetic.

The hero bolted away, into side streets and alleys, to the sound of the villain’s pained and endlessly amused laughter.

“Real smooth,” the villain called after them, voice echoing between the buildings. “You’re handling this quite well.”

The villain was never going to let them live this down.

[lipslikethegardensofbabylon]

#ttpd analysis day fourteen - The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

i'm gonna be honest with you this was the hardest song to dissect because every time i listen to it the bridge makes me lose my mind. it has the same addictive pull as the bridge of Would've, Could've, Should've, Cruel Summer, Getaway Car. it's SO good, imo one of her best bridges ever written.

i first want to comment on in your Jehovah's Witness suit which is again another lol-lyric moment, but in a big brain connection i saw that @thisisctrying pointed out that he was essentially selling her a religion. i love this bc it continues the religious imagery of Guilty As Sin?

you hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins makes me think of a couple of different things - image wise, it makes me think of pinning a map up on a wall, marking places that you’ve been (also a hint of carve your name into my bedpost ≠ i'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song (from FOB)). it also makes me think of pierced through the heart but never killed. the other connection that comes up is to “put a pin in it” means to save something for later, typically to postpone something useful but not for immediate use. this meaning feels more likely given the subsequent were you a sleeper cell spy? in fifty years, will all this be declassified?

the bridge just goes so hard, I’m obsessed. there are a few callbacks to previous work but to me this bridge is on mtr echelon:

the betrayal in did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? is so good. esp given how she historically describes her bed/room as a safe space - turned my bed into a sacred oasis/drew a map on your bedroom ceiling/the warmest bed I’ve ever known

the gun weapon of choice is also interesting to me considering she’s also discussed daggers and poison, and a gun specifically has to be loaded. it makes me think of memories feel like weapons/we gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean, some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

the line were you writing a book? IMMEDIATELTY made me think of so I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends who'll write books about me, if I ever make it which is especially painful i think for the narrator. they’ve historically said “I struggle a lot with the idea that my life has become unmanageably sized,” she continued. “Not to sound too dark, but I just struggle with the idea of not feeling like a person.” and this lyric does exactly that - it reduces the person to a product, a story to be sold for a profit.

to end, the lyric and in plain sight you hid but you are what you did and I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive gives me such chills. i saw someone share that they had a history of abuse and that lyric made them feel so validated. there’s just something so haunting and angry but beautiful about it.

[sunlighthroughthe-ashes]

I saw a very different take on SJ and IS and it's interesting to see how differently we view things, someone said they don't feel IS's love for SJ all the time jumping wasn't because she was in love with him and she only confessed because she found out he's been in love with her for so many years. I mean does the show constantly spotlight just how crazy in love SJ is with her every moment he's on the screen, sure. Do they do the same for IS? I don't they do, so I guess someone could see it as them not having the same level of affection for each other?

hi, anon!

so, before i say anything, i think i want to mention that the beauty of art and entertainment media is the subjectivity of its interpretation. one little show can mean so many different things to so many different people, and i think that's wonderful.

now, coming to your question — i don't think it's a case of one person's love being stronger than the others' — i think it's a difference in display/expression: i.e their respective love languages.

sunjae wears his heart on his sleeve — it's out there for everyone to see even when he tries to hide it. his is the love that longs to flare its wings — to be witnessed in fearless flight.

sol's is more understated — hers is a love that shelters, promises safe harbor. but it's clearly there if you're paying attention — the way she puts her hand over his chest to listen to his heartbeat because she can't shake the memory of his death, how her eyes soften and the radiance of her smile when he puts the two sodas against her cheek, the tenderness in her smile when she's watching him sleep in the library. the way she simply loses herself in his hugs — like his arms are the only fetters that can free her.

sol feels a massive sense of responsibility: her tiniest action can permanently alter the future — even before she discovers that sunjae's death is in part linked to her. her primary objective is to save his life — above all else. she can't let anything get in the way of that, not even her own feelings. it's actually a testament to her love for him that she's so ready to sacrifice her own, and their collective happiness. she even says it to herself: "the only thing worse than losing your heart would be to lose you itself."

there has never been a moment in which sol hasn't loved sunjae with every fiber of her being — it's simply that she fell IN love with him as she came to know more about him. at first, it was pure adoration and unconditional respect from a fan to her idol — (and that's as it should be, if she had a romantic interest in him from the very beginning it would have been inappropriate) but the minute sol begins to know sunjae as a boy, as a three-dimensional person — how sweet he is, how gentle, how free and generous with his care, how can she not help but fall for him?

and fall she does.

who wouldn't? :)

[vierss-herondale]

Please tell me your favourite thing(s) about Clace! I'm rereading TMI and I just am falling in love with them all over again. I'm at CoFA, they're FINALLY officially together, and their banter is ON POINT (they come by it honestly. Wessa, yk yk.) But YEAH . And also ramble about Sizzy too if you're into it, they're hitting SO hard this time and I'm in love in love in love with them.

Bestie, I don’t even know where to start 😂

The fact that during TMI most of the people saw Clary as this tiny little girl and they underestimated her but Jace realized very quickly how STRONG she really was! Like, he kicks her ass for real during training! He knows she can take it! And she’s the bravest person he knows!

And how everyone sees Jace as this strong warrior but Clary knows the fragility that lays underneath his tough exterior. Most of the people describes Jace as "hot/sexy" but Clary almost always thinks about him as ✨beautiful✨

Don’t even get me started on how Jace lacked love for so long in his life, even thinking that his heart was broken and he was incapable of falling in love… and then he met Clary, someone with such a big heart and with SO MUCH LOVE to give, and then they fell in love! ♥️

It makes me so sad that during TMI Jace had such a low faith in himself because of the way Valentine raised him. That he thought he had to be perfect or the Lightwoods would kick him out. Can you imagine that? Living with such fear of losing the love of the only family you ever know? 🥺🥺 That's why I love the fact that Clary's faith in Jace is so big and it NEVER lacks! And she makes sure he KNOWS it. That he can always count on her and her love for him.

And the fact that even when Jace was taught that love destroys you, he was never afraid of loving Clary! He said that loving her was the best feeling he ever felt. In many other books you see the male protagonist keep the girl away because they are afraid to fall in love but Jace never did that, quite the contrary actually.

I love how they complete each other, and how they helped each other to be better! Jace learned so much from Clary, and became a better version of himself, but Clary also growth so much after meeting him!

I also love how they pick on each other so much! They know how to have fun!

Listen, I know it's SUCH a big cliche and judge me all you want but I LOOOVE how Jace was mean to everyone but Clary lol In my defense I was a teenager when Wattpad was a hit and the bad boy trope was on every story 😂 So yeah, I like that he’s such a sweetheart with her and ONLY her 🫶🏻

How Jace looks at Clary as if she's his personal miracle 🥹♥️

I love that she NEVER slut shamed Jace! I have seen that some part of the fandom judge Jace for sleeping with other girls BEFORE HE MET CLARY. Like bro? It's his body and he was single, I don't see the problem and I love that Clary never judged him for that. She always knew that what they have is different from anything Jace could have had with other girls. I love a secure female character 🫶🏻

Also girl the way he's SO OBSESSED with her! He worships her so hard! I love those kind of male protagonist!!!

There's LOTS of things I love about Clace but I might never finish listing them so let's just cut it here lol

Now about Sizzy... I love that couple because they always seem like such a REAL LIFE couple to me.

Look I'm such a sucker for love at first sight couples like Clace BUT the reason why I love Simon and Izzy is because they are so real about the way their relationship developed.

In real life most people falls in love more than once in life and that's normal and it's okay. You can go through heart break and be hurt but that doesn't mean that you can't fall in love again and it be even MORE stronger than before! Simon represents that so well. He loved Clary so much for many years but then he realized they didn't work like that, and his love transformed into friendship love.

And then he fell in love with Izzy and it was a stronger feeling! This time he knew he belonged with her. That's just like real life is, you can fall in love more than once but it doesn’t mean that your previous love was less valid.

And Izzy is such an amazing character, she was the one that taught teenage me that you can wear makeup, dresses and high hills AND STILL KICK ASSES while doing so!

I think she's such a brave character because she carried the pain of her father's betrayal on her mom for so long... But she overcame it and she was brave enough to open up her heart to Simon. This comes from someone who went through something similar at a similar age and believe me, I KNOW by first hand how brave and strong Izzy had to be to let herself trust someone else with her heart. She’s so special to me.

And she opened her heart to Simon TWICE! They are a couple that went through a LOT and it makes me so happy to know that they are engaged now ♥️

[anna-n-hetfield]

Sweetheart Like You

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x OC!female

Summary: Elaine’s vault practices arranged marriages, and she feels trapped. What happens when the bride offers start to come and her father choses the worst one?

Warnings: arranged marriage, mention of abuse.

Author’s note: The Ghoul isn’t in this chapter just yet.

Masterlist

Growing up as the only daughter was hard on Elaine. Her father had high expectations for her like staying presentable for the suitors that would be coming around. Her mother had told her that one day a man would offer them the right bride price, and that she was to marry him. Her two brothers worked the fields in their vault, and they were constantly flirting with every girl there or from the nearby vaults. But she wasn’t even allowed to say hello to a boy her age for fear of looking impure.

Elaine was expected to dress as modestly as possible. The only time that the woman were allowed to wear the vault suits was when there was a vault meeting and when they went to the surface for the gardens. Honestly there were only a few who went to the gardens which were the gardeners, and Elaine was a teacher.

Elaine wanted to find love and end up with the right one that she chose, not her father. She didn’t want the fights that her parents had, and she didn’t want to not know who she was going to spend the rest of her life with. So when the offers started to come in, she begged her father to let her choose. He just shushed her and said, “This money is for us since we will be losing your income. I must decide on the highest price, not your feelings.”

”But I should have some say in who I’m with,” she argued. Her brown hair fell in her face.

Her blue eyes looked at her father’s aging face. His hair was losing the brown and going more and more gray with each month. It was going to be long before it would all be gray. His matching eyes met hers, shooting daggers.

”Elaine, you will marry who I tell you to. There’s nothing to worry about. All of these offers are from people in this vault, so you will at least get to see us,” he replied with anger in his voice. His dark eyebrows were drawn tight, showing his frustration.

“I don’t know them. What if they are mean? What if they hit me?” she asked. Her hands were clenched at her side. Elaine knew that this was pointless. Her father couldn’t be reasoned with. It had always been his way or no way. It was how he got on the vault council after all.

”Then you don’t give them a reason to be mean or to hit you!” he yelled, slamming his hands down on the table. “Now, stop arguing about this with me. This is the way things are done. Your mom didn’t get to decide, and neither will your future sisters-in-law. That’s just how it is done!”

Elaine’s mouth fell open in shock. She had never seen him like this. The anger in his body kept him tense. Backing away from him, she left his office and headed towards the door to leave the dorm. Elaine wasn’t going to stay here with him in a rage like that especially when it is directed towards her.

Her pipboy dinged with a message from Jacob Lawrence. He was an electrician that she had been talking to and somewhat flirting with. She had seen him at several vault meetings, and he had approached her after one of those meetings when she happened to be alone. Everyone knew that you didn’t just approach an unmarried girl without going to their father. Elaine had hoped to see if it could work with him, but she didn’t know how much the bride offer would for her would be.

Meet me in class.

The message was simple and meant to be that way. If someone saw it, it could be easily explained off. She would be disowned entirely if the whole vault knew that she was meeting up with a man. Plus, she didn’t know how her father would react. The best case would be that you would just remain unmarried, but be on your own. The worst case, you would be sent to the wastelands off of the entire vault grounds. Elaine wasn’t prepared for that yet.

Elaine let that thought go as she turned down the hall and opened the door to her classroom. Jacob turned towards her, and the smile on his face almost made her forget about what her father said. She ran into his arms, hoping that her father wouldn’t notice she was gone right then.

”What’s the matter?” he asked, his rough voice a whisper in her ear. His dark hair brushed along her skin.

Elaine was shocked a bit by the fact that he seemed to know something was up with her, but how did she explain this to Jacob? He never really seemed to think much about the bride offers or at least he didn’t bring it up to her.

”The bride offers are coming in, and my father has said that he isn’t allowing me to have a choice or at least some say in that matter,” she replied, tears starting to form.

Jacob’s arms tightened around her. “Hush, I’ll put in a good bid. One he can’t refuse,” he assured her. His hands rubbed her back as he held her.

Elaine sighed heavily. “I don’t want the whole bride offer thing. I want to be able to freely choose who I marry, not who my father chooses,” she pointed out.

Jacob pulled back and looked at her confused. “But that is how it has always been done! Every vault does it,” he explained. “It’s tradition. I promise your father will choose me.”

Shock was an understatement. Elaine had never talked about this with him before, but this was his response to her worry. She opened her mouth to say something as she pulled away from him, but didn’t know what to reply with. How would someone respond to that? Jacob seemed okay with the tradition.

A bell rang announcing curfew. She pulled back and said goodnight to Jacob. When he offered to walk her back to her place, she shook her head and said, “What would people think if they saw us together and you escorting me?”

He blushed and nodded. “You’re right. But you will see. Harvey will find that I am the best option,” he said, clearly trying to assure her.

They stepped out of the classroom while looking around to make sure no one was around. There was a sigh of relief from him when there was only them. It may be easy to say that he needed help with something academically, but her being 25 and the bride offers coming in. It would be too suspicious, and it would get back to her father. It wouldn’t benefit her to anger him anymore that he already was.

”Goodnight, Elaine,” he said, heading off towards the dorms.

Elaine watched him disappear into the halls for a second and wandered over to the elevator that lead to the surface. What was it like up there? Were there still people on the surface? Did they arrange marriages like they did here in the vaults or did they just do what they wanted? She looked down at her pipboy seeing a curfew warning pop up. She felt like breaking down in tears. How was she the only one who felt like this?

The other girls always seemed excited when the bride offers started to come in. Always talking about the best ones and who they hoped their father would choose. She even remembered one gushing about how her father let her look at the applications before choosing. Yet, she was the one that had been dreading this, and as she looked back at the elevator, she wondered just how bad was it on the surface.

***

The next few days, Elaine had been avoiding her father which was easy enough with him locked away in his office. She went to work, pretending like there was nothing wrong. And on her way back to the dorm she went by the elevator. She would stop and stare at it for a few minutes. Today though she wasn’t alone.

”Life up there is dangerous.” The voice came from behind Elaine which made her turn and see an elderly woman with a cane walking up to her. “It’s much safer down here.”

”I don’t know why you say such things,” Elaine said, trying to hide her inner feelings.

”I know that look. Running away may sound good, but you can’t possibly know how much more desperate people are up there,” she replied. Her weathered skin showed that she had to be a gardener when she was younger. “No one is safe up there.”

”But at least they aren’t being sold off by their own,” she muttered under her breath.

The elderly woman shook her head. “Just know that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side just because it looks like it,” she said as she started to walk off.

Her pipboy dinged. Her mother was calling her home, saying that there was something exciting waiting for her.

[krirebr]

Hello my friends!

As you may know, 2024 has been a rough mental health year for me. Depression and anxiety are an ongoing struggle. And unfortunately, that's bled into my life here.

I've realized recently that I put a lot of pressure on myself in how I interact with people. Everywhere, but here too. I really love it here, and I love all of you! I want to stay here as long as possible!! But that means I'm going to have to change some things in order to make that sustainable. Because right now, wanting to be able to do everything and not being able to has kind of made me just freeze and not be able to do anything. And then I feel awful. This is absolutely a me problem. You're all so great and what I'm going to outline below are probably obvious boundaries to all of you. But I'm saying it in writing to hopefully alleviate a little of the guilt I will inevitably feel when I start enacting them.

First and foremost, it's ok if I take breaks from writing every once in a while. If I don't produce anything new in a month, I need to trust that I won't lose all of my friends and followers. Because tumblr isn't a job and I need to stop treating it like it is. And not every idea needs to be expanded on, not every one-shot needs to become an au. Some ideas might just live in a series of little riffs or answers to asks and that's ok! That's great! It's ok to keep things short, sweet, and fun when that's what I need.

I'm also going to start forgiving myself when I can't read and comment on every single incredible work you all post. This refers to time limits, obviously, but content too. There are times, for example, when reading smut is just not what I want to do. And that's ok! I know that you know that, but I don't always know that. So I'm going to start giving myself a lot more grace when I get behind in my reading or skip something someone I love has written because the content just isn't for me. So if you start seeing me in your notes a little bit less, that's why. I still love you.

I think I'm going to clear out my ask box and start fresh. I'm sorry. I love you and I'm so happy whenever you want to interact with me. But trying to be perfect in how I answer these means that when I don't answer them right away, they just build up and start haunting me and that makes answering the new ones even harder, because I feel like I need to answer the old ones first. There are a couple that I'll probably try to get out before I purge, but not in a full drabble or what I feel like I should be doing. I need to understand that I can do quick, off the cuff, brief answers to these things. Nothing here needs to be perfect.

Ok, I think those are the major things right now. I hope this wasn't too weird and/or embarrassing. I just wanted to share where my head is at. I'll say it again and I'll keep saying it: I love you. You're great. I'm so so lucky to have made the friends here that I have. I appreciate each of you so much. And if, in the future, you see me getting super stressed out about what is supposed to be a fun hobby and community, please point me back here and make me read this again. 💜💜💜💜💜

[miguelsfangservice]

BEYOND THE SPOTLIGHT V

Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!Famous Idol Reader Warnings: Angst/comfort, fame has caused reader a lot of pressure and insecurities. Summary: It doesn't matter he's at HQ trying to keep the multiverse afloat, your face, your voice, your smile and laugh follows him everywhere. No, he is not losing it (yet); it's just that it’s kind of inevitable when most spiders under his command are... how did Gwen called it? Ah-staning you? Well, he can't really complain, it's his girlfriend, after all.

PART I, PART II, PART III, PART IV, PART V

The days after the whole drama with Ashley are nothing but a PR nightmare, everyone gets slandered and just a whole war has started in comment sections all over social media; Miguel tries to distract you by trying to make you go to the HQ with him, but you are hell bent on staying home and, eventually, giving up and reading comments online about the hiatus your company announced just hours after the incident.

Most people are blaming the company, but many others go straight for your throat; and they attack the biggest insecurities you had since you decided to leave the group for a while and go solo.

Some of the girls that used to be your teammates reach out and try to comfort you, cursing Ashley under their breath and trying to make you feel better about the whole ordeal.

But nor Miguel’s or their words work to make you feel ok.

There’s a few comments that catch your eye while having breakfast with Miguel one morning a few weeks after the announcement:

<<Looks like #Y/N couldn't handle the pressure after all. Always thought she was just riding on the coattails of the group. Solo career? More like solo failure.>>

<< It's sad to see #Y/N crash and burn like this. Guess she wasn't as talented as she thought she was. #SoloFlopped #Embarrassing.>>

 “Cielo…”

Another one, with about a thousand likes says:

<<Who does #Y/N think she is, anyway? Leaving the group was the biggest mistake of her life. Now she's just another idol desperately trying to stay relevant. #Pathetic #GroupWasBetterWithoutHer>>.

You try to keep scrolling, tears pooling around your eyes. Miguel notices right away, he could see you getting pale and quiet while staring at the holographic display on your wrist.

He puts his hand on top of it, blocking whatever you were reading from you.

“You need to stop” he whispers. “Reading idiotic comments online won’t help”.

You nod, not looking at him, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you; from sadness, to anger, to defeat and some bitterness towards Miguel. But the rational part of you and, above all, the love you have for him has been keeping you from lashing out on Miguel.

He’s been postponing his Spiderman things to hang up with you at home, but every time he had to leave the room to receive a call from his comrades you knew he was needed, which made you feel a bit guilty.

“You’re right” you put your hand on top of his. “It’s just hard not to… it feels like there’s an itch in my brain and the only way I can alleviate is by reading all that”.

Just when he is about to reply, someone starts calling him; Miguel curses, taps something on his watch and mutters ‘sorry’.

“Miggy, you need to get out of those pajamas and go be a hero”

“It’s fine, I­- Peter’s got everything under control”.

“That thing has been blowing up for the past few days; he may have it under control but maybe he needs a hand, love”

Miguel hangs his head a bit, defeated.

“This is my fault and I don’t know how to fix it”

“If you want to help me, I just need your support and trust on whatever decision I make” you try not to sound angry at him, but there’s probably an edge to your voice that he notices, because he lets go of your hand and tenses. “That’s what I need from you, Miggy; I know that even with what happened back at the company you were just trying to help, but I think what I need the most right now is you supporting me, even from afar while you help save the day.”

Miguel’s expression softens as he listens to your words, but still with a pang of guilt stabbing at his heart. He knows he hasn't been handling things perfectly; Miguel is aware his sanity is constantly hanging by a tread and that seeing you struggling with the pressure and schedule was just too much.

"I'm sorry” he murmurs, reaching out to cup your face gently. "I've been so focused on trying to fix things that I forgot to just be there for you, I guess I forget I don’t have to intervene on everything..."

You nod, a small smile tugging at your lips. "You have your hands full with several universes, you don’t need to carry my problems too, you know?"

Miguel nods, his eyes reflecting a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thank you for understanding, cielo. But please know that I'm here for you, always. Even if I can't fix everything, I'll do my best to support you… without making another scene, I hope."

You lean into his touch, feeling a sense of reassurance wash over you. "I know you will, Miggy. And just knowing that you're here for me means the world, with a dramatic scene at my job and all."

In comfortable silence, the weight of the world seems to lift off your shoulders, if only for a moment. You find solace in Miguel's presence, grateful for his unwavering support. But despite the temporary reprieve, you know that the battle against the hurtful comments and relentless pressure is far from over; when he leaves to save the world, you’ll stay at the apartment with no one to stop you from reading, to keep you from your own negative thoughts.

“You should come with me today.” Miguel suddenly breaks the silence, he walks to your bathroom and opens the faucet. “I know you refused the last hundred times I asked but… I really would help you to meet them, it will take your mind away from all that”.

The idea of accompanying him to the headquarters has crossed your mind before, but the thought of facing the other spiders and being surrounded by the chaos of his world always filled you with anxiety; sneaking into the HQ had felt safer.

 You already did not feel good enough for your world, much less for a world full of superhumans.

But now, as you look at Miguel coming out of the bathroom with his face wet from washing it, a hopeful yet hesitant expression, you find yourself considering his suggestion. Maybe, just maybe, it could be a welcomed distraction from the constant onslaught of negative comments and thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, you finally nod, a small smile playing at your lips. "Okay, Miggy. I'll go with you today."

Miguel's eyes light up with genuine joy, a light you are sure no one has seen in years… only you. He is suddenly crossing the room to pull you into a tight embrace. "Thank you, cielo. I promise, it'll be good for both of us. But if they don’t let you breath you just need to tell me and I’ll…"

“Make a scene?”

He groans, embarrassed and you can’t help but laugh at his slightly rose tinted cheeks.

As you cling to him, a sense of relief washes over you. Maybe stepping out of your comfort zone and facing the world outside your apartment is exactly what you need right now.

❃❃❃❃

Every time you step into the HQ you can’t help but gawk at what Miguel has built. And you always get a sense of warmth in your heart, knowing he has people that goes through the same things he goes through…things that you can’t fully understand, no matter how much you want to; so it’s good he can go to his friends when you can’t help him with stuff like this.

This time, you enter the HQ without hiding, you go through the lobby and, just as you thought not everyone here would know who you are, you see in the corner of your eye, a Spiderman saying something to another one, looking directly at you, which has others doing the same.

You want to lower your head, a little embarrassed but as you are about to do it, you look at Miguel.

He always holds his head high, no matter what. And you notice how different he looks in this context, with all this amazing super heroes looking up to him and his leadership; even with the whole Miles fiasco, he was able to amend his bad choices and regain his peoples trust.

Seeing him walk proud around the place he has built with blood, sweat and tears makes you feel a bit better.

If Miguel can walk proudly, so can you. Specially while you are by his side.

As you continue walking, more super heroes start noticing and you can see some of them reacting like just regular fans; it’s cute seeing the lenses on their suits doing a half moon downturn, indicating their smiles.

Feeling a surge of determination, you straighten your posture and walk alongside Miguel with newfound confidence. Despite the curious glances and whispered conversations happening around you, you hold your head high, mirroring Miguel's unwavering pride.

As you make your way through the HQ, you can't help but marvel at the incredible diversity of the so called “Spider-Verse”. Each superhero you pass exudes strength and resilience, their unique abilities a testament to the countless battles they've fought to protect their respective universes. And, obviously, you can’t forget but admire their suits and gadgets you know they must make with all the love and care of the world.

“You got quite a few fans around here, you know?” he murmurs in your ear as he swings with you in his arms around the place; you make the mistake of looking down, it makes you dizzy and you have to press your body tighter to his, Miguel chuckles. “It all began with Hobie and then Miles spread your music here like wildfire.”

“Kids got a good a taste” you say smugly, but with a pink tint in your cheeks. It’s good to know that you got some support.

"And they have excellent taste indeed," Miguel agrees, his voice filled with pride. "But then again, how could they not be fans of yours? Your music has a way of touching people's hearts, no matter what universe they're from."

“Miguel, you adorable sap” You hear Peter yell behind you. Miguel groans and rolls his eyes. “Hello, miss. Nice to see you again.”

“Hi, Mr. Parker” you reply with a smile.

Peter makes a fake wounded sound. “Please, please no “Mister”, makes me feel old”

“That’s because you are” Miguel tells him just when you finally land on the hallway leading to Miguels office, you keep walking alongside him, but much closer when you start seeing all the anomalies in their respective cages. Some of them eye you up and down, as if you were the prey. If they were to break free, you know you would be. “Now we need to get to work, Parker.”

“Everything is under control; you shouldn’t be back from your days off so soon”

“If everything is under control why Jess wont’s stop sending messages and calling? So has Margo.” Miguel counters, his tone serious.

Before Peter can respond, an urgent message comes through on Miguel's communicator. His expression shifts, a mixture of concern and determination crossing his features. "We've got trouble," he says, glancing at you. "A Venom anomaly has been detected. I need to go with the others to check it out."

You nod, understanding the gravity of the situation. "Be careful," you tell him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Your heart starts beating up fast; Miguel has told you a few things about the type of things he fights, so you are aware of how dangerous a venom anomaly can be.

Miguel nods, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he turns to Peter. "Keep an eye on things her, Parker. We'll be back soon."

With that, Miguel rushes off, leaving you and Peter standing in the hallway, the weight of the impending danger hanging heavy in the air.

“Are you hungry?” Peter asks, trying to sound cheery again, but you can sense his concern. “There’s some really juicy ‘Migueburgers’ in the cafeteria”

“…Migue-what?”

[mishkakagehishka]

"We're old moms, we can't wait to stop breastfeeding so we can get [very excited, shrill even] botooooox!!!"

We are never making it out of the patriarchy.

[quietwingsinthesky]

the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head

[machidielontheway]

i am chatty today because i've got ✨The Anxieties✨

i choose to stop two choirs this year cause i didn't have fun like before (a long while, actually) and i had said to friends "i will come back with you to this other choir, the one we met all in, like you already have since a year". and i really thought i would cause it would let me keep community, and a regular occasion to work on what we'd see with my singing teacher.

but in the last two months i felt so relieved and free to not have to go back to the choirs i stopped, i began feeling like going to this other one would be again 'stiffling', even tho it's at a very low level (beginner level, altho a good beginner level). and that it would become a chore again.

i went to the open session yesterday and seeing all my friends and having fun in the warm up was really, really nice. but the choir work in itself, while of good sound quality and with a good chef, was so sloooow to my own needs. and we can't talk for real when in session, or just quick when the voice working is changing, so it's texting or nothing.

and i felt that i would be soon unfulfilled / bored in it, of the pace, and also the songs are nice but not really my taste (it was once 100%, but now it's only 50% to what i heard was planned.)

cons : - lot of people, mask is somehow accepted. i don't want to go back to singing in mask because it's really hard and creates problems which i have already, in terms of Singing. but given how covid moves lately i also don't want to be in 60 people's company in one medium room without a mask. - "slow" pace, potentially boring "what am i doing here" thinking. i could definitively bring something to do, or just read or something, as lot of people do, but i don't want my choir experience to be "you come for 2 hours and, besides warming up, you sing 15 of them". i know a good numbers of good / high level singers are in this choir and don't mind cause the ambiance is really nice, the quality is here, and the community is good, but i don't think i would have liked it. - i already have three weeks a night taken (danse, tv night with friend<3, and instrument soon if i'm not averse to it after the trial class tonight). going to choir would make it four nights a week taken every weeks (unless i double one night which is possible but not ideal especially on the long term). and i want that time to try new things / try to go forward in my life ! - i don't want to double down on my "choir the last years has been more of a duty sometimes than anything else" and continue and risk disliking it even more. i feel like simply singing in the grass or in a church with friends brings me much more pleasure, simple giddy fulfilling and without anxieties. yeah i can't sing masterpieces i've been dreaming to sing since years, needing 40 persons, but those masterpieces are not going away. they will still be sung in years and years (indodana and baba yetu my beloved)(that, funnily enough, are going to be sung this year in one of the choir i left lol. didn't change my decision) - having "one night more" gives me a little more time to try to be more active in reaching out to friends and proposing drinks or outings or so (....maybe. that's the plan. "if you wish you had a friend like that, be that friend" post)

pros : - singing and spending a little time every week with my friends, who as adult is hard to do in other circomstances ! - not feeling like my friends are having fun and sharing time together and i'm all alone not being there :( - working on what i'm working on with my singing teacher... maybe (loosing your long-time used crutches / wrong things you did because you didn't know better is very hard in context of choir where you body has sooo many automatisms)

So cons are winning a lot. but i'm so scared i'm making the wrong choice !! especially imagining them all having fun and feeling like i'm the one not there, shunned of my own desire. it uh. it hit a little bit deep in the never healed wound in my heart.

[nt3000s]

im so lucky to know so many people in my life to have met so many people in my life that are just life saving ill never not feel lucky people are so beautiful and kind and talented and funny and have so much worth everyone ive ever met anyone in my life i have ever touched i just cant believe it ill never be able to understand it how important everyone is how much i love people the degree to whihc i love people and everyone i have ever met ill just never ever be able to express the depth of how important it is to me it might be the most important part of my entire life. i just need people to know how much i love them im desperate for it to be known how important everyone ive ever met is to me. all of my friends everyone whos ever been kind to me and whoever ive been kind to it will never be lost on me how important it is. and i feel so lucky to be graced i guess by my friends. i cant imagine the life i would live without every event every person who ive ever crossed. i would never sacrifice anything to not be where i am now because of the people i know and have known. the people i know and talk to everyday or the people i see in a notification or pass by. i cant overstate your importance to me. i cant overstate how important i want people to feel. i want people to see themselves how i see them. i can not overstate your importance to me and i love you. im so lucky ill never be able to take it

[toyfrogs]

help 😀

[milo-is-rambling]

Oh okay I've now realized that my last group of friends has completely fucked my ability to form new close relationships or find myself worthy of interacting with people I perceive to be better than me (aka all people)