Tumgik
#i know this is such a first world thing to complain about but like
pandapetals · 2 days
Text
Blanket
logan howlett x afab!reader - fluff, short blurb, cute, no y/n used, no reader description
You use Logan as your blanket.
read on Ao3
You shivered, tossing and turning beneath the sheets, your body restless despite the quiet of the night. The mattress dipped slightly as you shifted again, the cold seeping in despite the warmth of the room. Logan stirred beside you, his sleep clearly interrupted by your movements.
“Can you stop moving?” he grunted, his voice thick with sleep, his brow furrowing slightly. He was sprawled out on his back, half the covers kicked off, his chest bare and rising and falling with each deep breath.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, rolling onto your side, trying to get comfortable, but it was no use. Your mind was still spinning, your body still too awake, too cold. “I can’t sleep.”
Logan’s eyes fluttered open, the soft light from the moon outside casting a faint glow across the room. He blinked a few times, then turned his head to glance at you, his usual gruffness softened by the haze of sleep.
“Why not?” he asked, his voice low, a little rough around the edges.
You let out a quiet sigh, curling further into yourself. “I don’t know. I’m just... cold, I guess. And restless.”
Logan shifted beside you, his arm brushing yours as he adjusted the covers over himself, though it didn’t seem to help either of you. He let out a heavy breath, clearly not thrilled at being woken up, but there was something softer in his tone when he spoke again. “Come here.”
You blinked, turning your head to look at him. “What?”
Logan sighed as if he had to spell it out for you. “Come here,” he repeated, more gently this time. “You’re tossing around like a damn fish. Might as well make yourself comfortable.”
For a moment, you hesitated. Logan wasn’t exactly known for being a “cuddler,” and he didn’t usually offer more than a gruff arm over your waist when you shared the bed. Tonight, there was something different in his tone, something that made your chest warm despite the cold air.
You scooted closer, inching your way toward him, feeling the heat from his body as you moved. “Can I...?” You didn’t even finish the question, feeling a little silly for asking.
Logan gave you a sleepy smirk, his eyes still half-lidded but amused. “Just get over here,” he muttered, though his voice held none of its usual edge.
Before you could second-guess it, he reached over and tugged you closer, pulling you right up against him with a surprising gentleness. Instead of the usual arm-over-waist position, Logan shifted again, this time laying his head against your stomach, his arm draped across your side as if he was using you as his personal pillow. His warmth radiated through the thin fabric of your shirt, the weight of his head resting comfortably against you.
You blinked, a little surprised by the shift in dynamics, but there was something undeniably calming about it. Logan, the man who always seemed to be brimming with restless energy and tension, had melted into a state of quiet comfort as he lay on you, his head nestled on your stomach like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“You’re a human blanket,” you teased, though your voice was soft, barely above a whisper.
Logan grunted, his eyes already half-closed again. “I’m warmer than you, so quit complaining.”
You smiled despite yourself, your fingers instinctively drifting into his hair, running through the messy strands. His body relaxed further at the touch, his breathing evening out, and for the first time that night, the restless energy in the air seemed to dissipate.
As you stroked his hair, you couldn’t help but marvel at the quiet intimacy of the moment. Logan was laying on you like he didn’t have a care in the world, his weight a comforting presence that grounded you. The feel of his chest rising and falling against you, the steady warmth of his skin—it was all so soothing, so simple, and yet it felt like so much more.
The tension in your own body slowly ebbed away, the warmth of him lulling you into a sense of calm you hadn’t realized you needed. The room was silent, save for the soft sound of his breathing, and you could feel your eyes growing heavy, the weight of sleep finally pulling you in.
“Logan?” you murmured, your voice already thick with exhaustion.
He hummed in response, too tired to form words, but the slight tightening of his arm around you was enough of an answer.
“Thanks,” you whispered, the warmth in your chest spreading as you let your eyes drift shut.
Logan’s response was little more than a sleepy grunt, but you felt the soft brush of his lips against your side—barely a touch, but enough to send a flutter through your heart.
Within minutes, the rhythm of Logan’s breathing grew slow and deep, the warmth of his body wrapping around you like a cocoon. You let yourself sink into the feeling, the weight of him on you grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected.
113 notes · View notes
readerswritings · 2 days
Text
In the Damn Kitchen - Poolverine 1/2
Smut will come in next chapter I promise, just needed to get this part out into the world first to see if people like it. (AO3)
Warnings/tags: roommates, first Kiss, idiots in love, eventual smut, canon-typical behavior
Wordcount: 1224
Summary: Logan and Wade are some weird kind of roomates, and one morning Logan tries to figure out how to make Wade shut the fuck up without getting blood in his breakfast.
Logan has been staying with Wade on his shitty pull-out couch for three months. Something that was meant to be somewhat temporary is feeling less and less like that these days.
They still fight physically, stabbing each other and making a mess (that Al complains about later), but they also just hang out.
Which Logan isn’t used to.
Not anymore.
Haven’t been for a good while.
Wade has grown on him, even with all the touching. And talking.
All the goddamn talking.
It rarely stops.
Wade talks on the inhale and exhale.
Not even when he eats is Wade quiet, talking with his mouth full of food. He has been doing it less lately, after Logan stabbed him with a fork a few times so he wouldn’t have to see that shit.
Wade is only quiet when he’s sleeping.
Logan has returned late from a bar or late-night walks a few times to Wade asleep on the pullout. Seeing him quiet and still had been odd. Wade’s ADHD filled ass never being still when he’s awake. 
Wade also sleeps like he’s dead. Logan had discovered this when he tried to wake him so he would move the first time. It was legitimately difficult to wake him up. So after that first time where it took an eternity to get him conscious enough to move, Logan either goes to sleep in the armchair he had gotten off the street the first week he was here, or tips Wade onto the floor with a pillow if he is in a bad mood. 
When he doesn’t give a shit, he’ll just crawl onto the pullout with Wade. He tends to wake up before him anyway. The few times he doesn’t, a few claws to the guts makes Wade shut up, or at least talk about something else.
Another thing he hasn’t quite gotten used to, is how casual Wade is about touch.
Sure, Wade had been touching him a bunch when they first met. But that had been to rile Logan up, to get a reaction, even if it was all negative. (The Honda doesn’t count in any positive way, the intent behind all of that had been hate and adrenaline. Even if the end result had been good.)
Now though, it’s a hand patting his shoulder as they pass in the kitchen. A thigh bumping against his own as they watch shitty reality tv. Feet kicking him under the dinner table if he says something too blunt or rude. A shoulder bumping against his as they walk that damn ugly dog together.
It makes his skin crawl, mostly with how used to it he has become. And how he kinda, not that he will admit this to anyone but his own thoughts, likes it.
It’s all become routine, a weird kind of domestic, (Logan hates that word), that works for them.
Speaking of routine, Logan often makes breakfast for them. Wade can barely cook, Al is blind, and Logan doesn’t mind that much most of the time. He needs to eat a lot anyway, and getting something into Wade that is somewhat healthy and not just all sugar makes him a little less irritating to deal with during the day.
Wade of course likes to tease him when he cooks. Stealing bites before it’s ready. Logan has become quite adept at fighting just with a spatula, smacking hands away with a grunted ‘fuck off.’
He’s off his game this morning though, as Wade manages to snatch a piece of bacon, straight from the pan where it was almost finished. Logan knows it must be burning his mouth and tongue, but Wade crunches on his price with a grin on his face. 
He’s wearing Deadpool pajama pants, bunny slippers, and a pink long sleeve with Hello Kitty on it, and frankly looks ridiculous leaning on the counter, extra so next to Logan who is fully dressed for the day in his flannel, t-shirt, jeans, and boots.
“Haven’t had enough coffee yet peanut?” Logan grunts, smacking Wade’s hand as it tries to go for another piece. 
“Fuck off.”
“Oh you know I love it when you talk dirty to me, even this early in the morning.”
“It’s 10 am dipshit.”
“Oh you know the saying, it’s always 5 am somewhere.” Logan snorts, shaking his head. He grabs a plate to put the finished bacon on, putting some more in the pan. He lets Wade take a piece from the plate.
“Besides, I kept waking up because my dreams were being haunted by this sexy lumberjack looking figure, and I woke up with a raging hard-on that I had to take care of every-” Logan tunes him out, a necessary and learned skill by now. He flips the bacon, then stirs the eggs in the other pan where he’s keeping them warm on low heat.
There’s a hand in his hair, and that makes his focus snap back to Wade and his yapping. 
“You know, I always wonder if you roll out of bed with these little tufts.” Logan pushes his hand away, letting the claws out just enough so he knicks Wade’s skin. 
“Ouchie, someone’s a grump this morning. You’ve clearly not gotten enough caffeine in your hot bod yet. We should get that coffee that has a fuckton of it, the one with the skull or whatever, that lethal shit. Wonder if that would actually kill you, do you think your heart could give out on you? I think they even make you sign a wai-” Logan tunes him out again and wonders what it will take to shut Wade up. He is right, Logan has not had enough coffee for this. (Or booze, but he’s trying to do a little less of that.) 
Logan absentmindedly notices one of Wade’s scars on his cheek looks kinda almost like an H, and his mind drifts to the Honda. Unintentional, though not unwelcome
He’d rather not get blood on his bacon right now, so he goes for another component of all that shit.
He steps to the side and turns, leaning forward, pressing his lips against Wade’s. It’s a brief kiss, but Wade doesn’t immediately say anything as Logan leans back just enough to gauge his reaction. He's enjoying the silence as Wade's eyes are flickering all over his face.
Wade’s mouth is gaping like a fish, opening and closing before his brain is booting back up. It makes Logan snort as he leans back all the way back.
The silence lasts for maybe thirty seconds.
“What the fuck peanut? You interupted me mid-monologue, that was fucking rude you-”
“Thought it would shut you up, but I see that didn’t work.” Logan takes a step back, but is hauled back by hands twisted in the collar of his flannel.
“Oh no, you are not going anywhere until I get an explanation, or more.” Logan arches a brow, hands at his side, not touching Wade. The urge to punch or stab him is rising. 
And the urge to kiss him. 
Again. 
He knows all of the options would work for Wade.
“I gave you an explanation.” 
“Grew tired of the claws old man? Don’t wanna stab this supple fle-”
“God you are desperate.” Logan doesn’t know if he means it as an insult or a compliment, but kisses Wade again anyway.
61 notes · View notes
clarisse0o · 2 days
Text
Camp Wiegman-Part 76
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
Tumblr media
Alternative Universe: Military School
Words: 5K
TW: Abuse Mention
Masterlist
———————————————————————
Saturday, March 26; 9:00 PM – Jenni and Alexia's apartment.
The evening is underway. We're at Jenni's since her apartment is the closest to The United. Needless to say, our friend is well-stocked with beer for the girls' enjoyment. We ordered takeout – Chinese food, to keep things simple. The others left us about an hour ago to enjoy their own evening. We started ours by playing a few rounds of car racing games on Jenni's PlayStation. The games went on until our stomachs started growling. I think Mapi was mostly tired of Alexia beating us. It seems like she's had a bit more practice than we have. So now we're eating, and I took the opportunity to share the good news I received today.
"And so, she’s willing to take you on at her gallery?" Ale asks. "That’s crazy. Small world, huh?"
"We're not complaining," Mapi replies with her mouth full.
She swallows before continuing:
"We were starting to worry you wouldn’t be with us next year."
"Oh no. I was more worried about ending up with nothing. I don’t think I would have left anyway..."
"But is this thing certain?" Ale asks.
"Supposedly. She wants me to visit the gallery and spend a weekend there to see if it works for both of us."
"That’s cool. At least you’ll get a feel for it."
"Yeah, exactly! Plus, she’s a woman running the gallery alone, which suits me even better."
"Yeah, that’s great news," Alexia comments, though with a hint of sadness.
My remark brings about a short silence. I take a deep breath and uncross my legs, placing them on the ground. It was now or never. I mean, there wasn’t a better opportunity.
"I think I’m ready to talk to you about it, girls."
They were both focused on their little boxes of Chinese noodles before I sparked their interest. Neither could hide their surprise.
"You don’t have to," Mapi says first. "I’ve lived in silence for over a year, and I’m fine with that."
"No. Well, no, I don’t have to. But I managed to talk to Lucy about it, so I feel ready to talk to you now. I know you won’t judge me or anything like that anyway."
"That’s the last thing we’d do," Ale replies. "But like Mapi said, don’t feel obligated. Lucy knows, so it’s already a big step for you to have opened up once."
"It’s not about opening up anymore. It’s that you two are my best friends, and I want you to know what destroyed me one day."
They nod in understanding.
"It’s just that if there are two people I’m going to tell this story to, it’s you two."
"Okay," Mapi says first. "Well, if you want to know, I’ve been looking for the truth about all of this for a long time, even though I’ve come up with plenty of scenarios in my head. That piece of garbage Feli still managed to destroy my best friend."
I give a sad smile. It took me a while to understand, but I wasn’t the only one affected by my change in behavior.
"That scumbag, as you put it, abused me for almost a year," I say bluntly, without beating around the bush.
I owed it to myself to do it this way, or my resolve would have evaporated. Still, I can’t bring myself to meet their eyes. I keep my gaze fixed on my box of food, resting on my knees.
"What do you mean, abused...?" Ale murmurs.
"She got angry because of the drugs, and I paid the price... I won’t go into the details. Even Lucy doesn’t know. She ended up figuring it out after my fight with Korbin. I had completely shut down and didn’t want her to treat me at the time, until she understood what was happening."
My throat tightens at the memories resurfacing. It’s harder than I imagined. Alexia, sitting beside me, places her hand on my knee for support.
"I—I didn’t mean to push people away. I just couldn’t stand being touched or approached anymore. I feel vulnerable around people..."
"Oh my God, you poor thing... I didn’t realize it was that bad. So... she hit you?" she asks uncertainly.
I lift my head to see them looking at me with sadness. I sigh and stand up. I don’t like feeling pitied, but I knew what to expect when I started this topic. My back is turned when Mapi speaks before I can answer.
"She did more than that, didn’t she? How far did that bitch go? I mean, you were so strong before. I never would’ve imagined someone could break you like that."
A few tears escape me. I quickly wipe them away. Mapi’s the only person who can guess the full extent of what she did. No one else here knew the Ona from before. So bold and rebellious.
"She did a lot of things I regret," I whisper.
I turn around and lift my sweater to show them my scars. Their gasps fill the room. Some are burn marks, often from cigarettes. Others are knife wounds that struggled to heal properly, as I was never able to treat them. Looking back, I think some of them should have required hospital care. But I never went. It would have meant reporting Feli and going back home. I feel foolish for never doing it now.
"I’ve never seen those," Mapi admits breathlessly.
"Well, if you think about it, I haven’t undressed in front of you since I got back," I point out.
I was never shy with Mapi since she was my high school girlfriend. We used to undress and change in front of each other without any issues before all this.
"The only time you could’ve seen them was at the pool a few months ago, but you were too busy with Ingrid and Joan," I add with a small smile to lighten the mood.
"Oh yeah, that day," she replies. "But wait, you had trouble going to the pool then?" she realizes with shock.
I bite my lip and nod.
"I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t say anything because everyone was so excited. Lucy scolded me in the changing rooms when you all left. She didn’t know no one else had seen them except her... She reassured me and made me feel comfortable before joining you all."
"Oh my God! But why didn’t you say anything?"
"It’s fine, I’m not dead," I joke. "Lucy is slowly helping me feel more comfortable in my body..." I add, blushing.
She’s the first person I allowed to see me in my underwear, practically at the start of our relationship. Granted, I was in bad shape and in a tough spot because of my withdrawal, but I could have refused her help. Somehow, she managed to earn my trust quickly.
"Does she know she abused you?"
I blush even more than before. Mapi never holds back. I can’t even contradict her because we both know she’s right. I had no shame or fear before Feli.
"No," I whisper. "I told her no to avoid her pitying me. She was already worried enough about everything else."
"You can’t hide that from her," Mapi protests.
Her reaction surprises me, and I’m at a loss for words. It’s such a sensitive topic. I’m already pushing myself to talk to her about it, so telling Lucy... the person I share my bed with... is asking a lot. The worst part is that this happened frequently because of Feli’s violence. She had hormone surges she wanted to satisfy, and I was powerless. I often thanked the drugs for helping me forget half of those moments. Seeing my distress and disconnection, Ale steps in to help me.
"Stop, Mapi. This isn’t an easy thing to discuss, especially not with her girlfriend," she defends me.
"What? If I were in her shoes, I’d want to know!" Mapi retorts.
"Please don’t say that," I reply, feeling some remorse now. "I didn’t want her to pity me about this, or worse, to hold back. I wanted everything to happen at my own pace, with her help, and that’s what happened. »
Ale nods in understanding, while Mapi crosses her arms. I sigh at that.
“I was planning to tell her after our first time, but I’m afraid she might take it badly, or... I don’t know... Her reaction scares me a little.”
“She would have every reason to take it badly,” Mapi grumbles. “She would’ve reacted differently if she’d known!”
“And that’s exactly what I wanted to avoid. You know very well I hate being pitied! That’s not how she would’ve helped me!”
Mapi dramatically sighs and rolls her eyes. I understand her frustration. Mapi is the only one who knew me before all of this. She hates that I’ve become so secretive. I guess she expected me to open up at least with the woman who shares my life so she could take care of me. But this is still my choice.
“And what exactly does she know? And since when? Because if even she doesn’t know everything, I’m not sure how to help you anymore.”
“Come on, you’re exaggerating. She’s known a lot for a while. She knows I was a junkie and that I lived in abandoned places with Feli and the other addicts.”
“She knows why you ran away?” Mapi snaps with a certain bitterness.
“Yes, she knows about my dad’s death in combat, and how close we were. She also knows about the communication problems with my family, especially with my mom... Even though that’s a lot better now.”
“And she knows she was violent?”
“Yes, since Korbin, she knows. Like I said before, she’s the only one who will ever know the details of every one of my scars.”
I say this preemptively to stand my ground. I understand she’s still worried about me after hearing all of this, but she has no right to question my choices. Not about Lucy, nor about what I choose to tell her. Mapi narrows her eyes for a moment before sighing in defeat.
“Fine,” she mutters.
“Lucy has helped you a lot...”
I give a sad smile to Alexia, who seems a bit shocked. The poor thing just learned a lot all at once. I had never told her any of this before. To my surprise, she doesn’t resent me for keeping it from her, judging by the way she continues.
“I remember the first day we met. You brushed me off like never before,” she laughs. “I thought I was in for a rough year, and that we’d never be friends given the anger coming off you…”
The way I acted when I met Alexia is one of my biggest regrets. We’ve become very close since then. Alexia just wanted a friend, having never had one before, and I’m glad she can now count me as one.
“But in the end...” she continues. “Once you faced Lucy, I saw that anger disappear. I don’t know how she did it, but she really helped you work through a lot.”
My shoulders slump at this truth. She understands what my girlfriend has done for me. I nod softly to confirm.
“Yes… That’s exactly what happened. She pushed me physically and mentally with punishments… Yet she always listened and supported me. I questioned myself so many times because of her, and I started to trust her. Once she realized that, she began to rebuild me.”
“You see,” Alexia turns to Mapi. “You’re scolding her for not opening up enough… But I think Lucy already knows.”
“Why do you say that?” my best friend asks, frowning.
“Because Ona has never needed to speak for Lucy to understand that something is wrong.”
I sit at these words. If I were honest with myself, I’d say that’s exactly what I hoped for from Lucy. I pushed her away so many times when things got serious, hoping she’d figure out what I’d been through. Unfortunately, she’s never brought it up. So I don’t know if she knows.
“I’m sorry,” Mapi says. “You’re probably right, Ale. I was so jealous at first of how easily she reads you when I’m supposed to know you best… So yeah… She probably already knows, if I could figure it out.”
“I hope so,” I murmured. “I don’t want to say it out loud.”
“Do you still have trouble with people in general?” Mapi asks me.
“No... Well, school and Lucy in particular have helped me open up to the world again. I still push people away sometimes when they surprise me with touch, but it’s happening less and less. We’re working on it a lot.”
“With Lucy?”
“Yes. She’s helping me regain my confidence. In fact, I finally gave myself to her last week.”
“She’s really had a lot of patience. Kudos to her, because I would never have been able to do what she’s done in such a short time.”
“Totally,” Ale agrees. “It’s no wonder you’re so close. Even if you two hadn’t gotten together, I think you’d have maintained a strong bond that the other students wouldn’t understand.”
“Speaking of school, I forgot to tell you, but Wiegman knows,” I said.
The girls look at me without any visible reaction, taking a moment to process what I said.
“Who’s Wiegman?” Mapi responds.
“What do you mean Wiegman knows?!” Ale exclaims.
“Wiegman knows,” I repeat with a small laugh. “Wiegman is the school principal, and she knows. My management professor, who has a crush on Lucy, talked about us to Wiegman. Lucy was there to hand in her resignation letter, and she confessed. She didn’t want to lie, especially since she was about to leave anyway.”
“Wow!” Mapi exclaims. “She’s lost it!”
“But what happened? Are you two getting expelled?”
“No. We think the fact that she knows my mom helped a lot. She also took Lucy’s resignation into account. Since we’re at the end of the school year, she’s letting us finish, and I’m allowed to continue my evening classes since they’re part of my apprenticeship,” I explain with a shrug. “We just have to keep being discreet because if any student finds out, she won’t be able to do anything to stop us from getting expelled.”
“Wow!” Ale exclaims. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Yep. So… Wiegman knows,” I sighed.
“Lucy really took some big risks.”
“I know. I felt bad when she told me, but it just goes to show that honesty pays off.”
“And when did all of this happen?”
“Yesterday.”
“And then you say nothing interesting happens in your life,” Mapi mutters to Ale, who bursts out laughing.
“Alright, enough about me. What about you two!? You always let me go first.”
I look at them in turn. They glance at each other, and Alexia decides to go ahead.
“Well, nothing special. Alba agreed to meet Jenni at Leah’s party. Of course, Jenni accepted, but she’s terrified,” she laughs. “She’s afraid of Alba’s reaction.”
“Your sister’s a bit of a pain,” Mapi comments.
“A bit, yeah,” she sighs. “It’s partly my fault too. I hid my relationship for way too long. I shouldn’t have.”
“True,” I agreed.
“Have you talked to Lucy about it? Are you two coming?”
I shake my head, crushing her hopes instantly.
“Sorry, but she refused. Since we’re under scrutiny with Wiegman, she really wants to wait until the end of the school year before we go public with my school friends.”
“Damn…” she sighs.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be well surrounded. Misa will be there, I imagine.”
“Yeah…”
“She’s really cool, you know. We helped each other out when you and Alba were called in. Maybe you could do the same for her that night…”
“I’ll see,” she grimaces. “I’m not sure where to place her. She came to tell me, and I quote, ‘we should get to know each other better.’”
“Who’s she? Your sister-in-law?”
“Ew, don’t call her that,” Ale replies.
I laugh heartily. It seems like things still aren’t smooth between them. I know she doesn’t really like her, but she’d be surprised.
“Come on, she’ll be a good help, trust me.”
- Yeah, well, wait. I think Alba plans to spend part of the holidays with us, like, "to make up for lost time," you know? I'm so pissed! I thought we'd finally be able to enjoy some time just the two of us!
I laugh again. I understand how she feels. It’s always like that with Lucy. We plan to be together, and then everything gets turned upside down. It's complicated with family all over the place.  
- And on top of that, you two won't be here, she adds. I heard you're leaving a week early.  
- Yeah, we're going to my grandfather's for the first week. Since we're going to Portugal, we might as well make the most of it, I replied.  
- Yeah, that's true, but once again, you won't be here to back me up, she says, pouting.  
- Either way, we wouldn't have been here. You'll have to wait until the end of the year for that.  
- Damn it, sighs Ale. It's ridiculous. It’s not like our friends would rat you out.
- Oh, you never know! Mapi surprisingly defends us. All it takes is for someone to have something against Lucy or even Ona, and boom, they're screwed.
- Yeah, mumbles Ale, not entirely convinced.
I laugh quietly to myself, but I think that’s exactly what Lucy believes too. That, and maybe the fact that she doesn’t want to get too close to her students before she leaves. I’m giving her some space for now, but once exams are over, she won’t have any more excuses. I definitely plan to introduce her to the whole gang.  
- So, Mapi, what about you? Anything new?  
- Not much. I'm selling my apartment. Preparing for my move... The school accepted my enrollment.  
- That's awesome! Ale comments.  
- Yeah, definitely a good thing. Also, my parents got in touch.  
- No way! What did they want?  
- To spend time together and reconnect, she laughs bitterly. Apparently, they wanted to check in on me and see how I was doing.  
- Ouch. Any hidden agenda?  
- No idea. I refused. I plan to spend my vacation here getting settled. I told them that and mentioned I have a girlfriend. When they started giving me grief about it, I hung up.  
- No surprise, I grimaced. They didn’t even ask how you were doing before that?  
- Nope. They started by asking how school’s going, if I’m doing well... Same old. I guess they still don’t have anyone to take over their stupid business. I wasn’t planning on seeing them again anyway. They probably thought I’d changed my mind about how I live. They still haven’t realized I’ll never be straight or take over their damn succession.  
- But what exactly do they hold against you? Ale asks calmly.  
- Well, exactly what I just said. Being a lesbian and loving engineering, which they consider a "man’s job." They would’ve preferred me to inherit the family business and start a family with a man for the succession. I’ve always refused. There’s no way I’m pretending to be someone I’m not for people who were never there for me.  
I smile sadly. She rarely talks about her family, even to me. All I know is that they’re rich, always off on business trips, and were never around. The day of her accident was the turning point for her. They couldn’t even be there for her, so she not only rejected her inheritance but also cut ties with them. I knew it was hard for her. Despite what she says, she values family a lot. I can tell when she’s with mine. She’s always said I had nothing to complain about. I find it awful that her parents want her to be someone she’s not. I’m glad she’s finally found some peace in her life thanks to Ingrid.  
- Anyway, no more news from them. I’m living my life, about to join you guys, and it’s about time. I’m really happy about that.  
- And how’s your leg?  
- It’s doing better. The pain is less frequent. But I know it’ll never fully heal. I was told that after the first surgeries.  
- Do you need another operation soon?  
- No, your mom managed to avoid that. We found other solutions. Better physios,… Anyway, they’ll never be able to fully fix it.  
- What happened, with that? Ale asks hesitantly.  
- Car accident. Wasn’t even my fault, she jokes with a laugh. A drunk driver crashed head-on into my mom and me. My knee got completely crushed. According to all the doctors, I was very lucky, if not miraculous, to have saved it.  
My heart sinks every time she talks about it. She was heading home with her mom when it happened. Mapi was the most injured since the car hit her side. The man in the other car flew through the windshield and didn’t make it. Her mom was the least hurt, with just a broken arm and a few cracked ribs. They were rushed to the hospital, especially Mapi, whose knee was shattered. Their father joined them at the hospital. What I find disgusting is that once her mom recovered, her parents didn’t stay with her. Mapi was a teenager, and legally, they shouldn’t have left her alone. But they did. They went back on business trips for days. They only visited occasionally to check on her progress. Mapi had to go through several surgeries alone, with no support. Then came the physical therapy, where they’d just drop her off at the doctors without asking if she needed help. She’s always said that the best thing her parents did for her was bringing her to Barcelona. They were advised to go to the best surgeons there. That’s when we met at school, and my mom started visiting her at the hospital since she was always alone. She’s always told me that her real family is us.  
- By the way, did you call your mom about the wedding?  
- What wedding? Ale asks.  
I blush in embarrassment. I didn’t even have time to tell her. My God, I really need to get back to reality.  
- My mom’s getting married to her partner. I called her this morning, and I agreed to be her maid of honour.  
Mapi practically explodes with joy, jumping on me. I laugh softly. I know she’s always wanted us to get along better since she’s always gotten along with my mom.  
- No way? Oh, I’m so happy! So, you’re going?  
- Of course, I roll my eyes. It’ll be after the exams. June 18th.  
- Oh no, Ale groans. You won’t even be here for my birthday!  
- Really? When’s your birthday? I ask.  
- Well… the 18th, she laughs.  
- Damn. No, we definitely won’t be here, I chuckle. We’ll probably head to Barcelona right after the exams to help with the preparations and all that. Lucy suggested it to get a break before the exam results come out.  
- Oh, that’s even better! You’ll be with me then! Can Ingrid come too?  
- My mom will probably invite her too, so yeah, of course, I laugh.  
- Well, I’m still upset. No one will be here for my birthday, Ale says, crossing her arms.  
- Oh, come on, we’ll celebrate your birthday, don’t worry.  
I say, giving her a hug. The last thing I want is to not celebrate her birthday.  
- Yeah. We’ll do it when we’re back. Maybe a night out, something with lots of drinks! It would do us good.  
- Speaking of drinks, I saw a bottle of champagne in the fridge. Anyone interested?  
- Yeah! Mapi exclaims. Go ahead, pop it open!
We laugh as Ale gets up to grab it. A glass of champagne sounds good tonight. I needed to unwind, and since Lucy is picking me up later, I don’t hesitate to have a drink or two, especially after Ale pulls out the rest of the alcohol from the other night.
Saturday, March 26; 2:50 AM - Jenni and Alexia's Apartment.
- Darling, someone murmurs to me.
I groan, burying my head into something soft, like a pillow. I recognize Lucy’s touch as she runs her hand through my hair, a little mocking laugh escaping her.
- Come on, get up. I need a little help.
I sigh contentedly, blinking my eyes open. It’s hard to keep them open, even though there’s no light in the room.
- You can stay here if you want, I hear Jenni offer.
- No, no. We’re heading home. Come on, babe, at least sit up so I can carry you.
I groan as she pulls my arms, trying to sit me up. I never know where she gets her strength, but somehow, she always manages. I have a slight headache. I definitely overdid it with the drinks tonight. I don't even know what time it is. Wrapping my arms around my girlfriend, I teasingly pull her toward me. She laughs before pressing her lips to mine.
- You’re not going to make this easy, are you?
- Nope, I grumble.
Too tired to fight back, I let my head fall onto her shoulder. She takes advantage of my state to pull me to the edge of the couch, then lifts me by holding me firmly by the thighs. My limp body betrays me, collapsing entirely against her.
- Thanks again for the evening.
- Will you be okay? Jenni asks her.
- Oh, yeah. It’s not the first time I’ve had to carry her, she jokes.
- Alright, she laughs. Be careful on your way back. Text me when you’re home.
- I will. Thanks.
I hear the door close as Lucy moves, followed by the sound of the elevator. I wait until the doors close to speak.
- You’re not mad at me? I mumble.
- Mad at you for what, baby? she whispers.
She gives me a little bounce to adjust her grip on my body. I groan softly at the jostling.
- For drinking too much, I whisper into her neck.
I’m being honest, because I know she knows. We didn’t have time to clean up the bottles, and I must reek of alcohol. I'd rather be upfront than face a scolding.
- No, she surprises me by saying. Not in this environment, where it’s safe.
A long breath of relief escapes me. She kisses my temple and finally exits when we reach the ground floor. I can feel the cold, and I realize I don’t have my jacket on.
- I’m warning you, once we get to our building, you’re walking up. You’re getting heavy, I swear.
I laugh into her neck as best I can, but I nod. I figure by the time we get there, I’ll be somewhat awake. Somehow, Lucy manages to get me into the car, and I hear the door shut before she walks around to the driver’s side. That’s when I notice my jacket is draped over my lap. I decide to put it on to stay warm.
- I love you, you know that? I say, in the middle of the drive, making my girlfriend laugh.
- Yeah, babe. I think I’m aware, she teases.
- Why are you laughing? It’s not funny. I’m being very serious! I huff.
- I’m not laughing.
- Yes, you are!
- Well, only because you’re the most adorable thing when you’re drunk. I forgot how happy you get in these moments.
- Does that mean I can drink again? I say excitedly.
- I never forbade you from drinking, she sighs.
- Yes, you did at the beginning.
- Yeah, but back then, you weren’t as responsible as you are now. And the places you frequented weren’t exactly the safest.
- Blah, blah, blah.
- Babe, she giggles. Don’t pick a fight in such a nice moment.
- Hmm, I reply, stretching. I’ll try not to, I tease.
We arrive at our building, and Lucy parks in the underground garage. This time, she doesn’t carry me up, but she still helps me stay upright and even undress me a little once we get to our apartment.
- Can I wear one of your shirts? I mumble as I collapse onto the bed.
- Of course.
I’m down to my underwear as she rummages through our closet. I take off my bra without any hesitation. Partly because I’m drunk, partly because I’ve become comfortable with Lucy since we made love.
- Here, she says, tossing me one.
I put it on quickly and slide under the covers, watching Lucy change. Once she’s done, she joins me in bed. I barely have time to snuggle up to her before I feel myself drifting off. I can still feel her lips against mine just before I fall asleep.
- Good night, my love.
- Good night, baby, I mumble back.
54 notes · View notes
erabu-san · 3 days
Note
You are literally French. What would you know about any of this, an issue and drama stirred up by anericans.
Blackwashing exists and is used by bigots that hate white people. Its used to erase the ethnicity of asians just because people dont think they are "poc enough" because of their pale skin. Its used to demonize people with pale skin because its becoming more and more the norm to view anyone with pale skin as evil. That anyone who is "too pale" isnt enough or a human being.
They arent real people, and their skintones are fine as is. You wouldnt go up to, for example an albino or mixed race black/poc person and tell them they arent "dark enough". They dont even need to be special like that to be pale. Some just are pale.
Whether you think there should be more characters that are dark or not is not the issue. Its that you think they wouldnt be/arent good enough as is with pale skin that shows how much of a bigot you are.
Blackwashing is not the progressive act you think it is. Its obvious that your only experience with it is through genshin drama. You obviously know nothing about how much red haired pale characters & asian ones are substituted with black characters. How characters are simply replaced in the name of "diversity". How this forced inclusivity and diversity is just bigots trying to "get revenge" on the white people they hate so much, and to tick off DEI boxes on their little bigoted checklist.
You tell me to educate myself but its actually YOU who needs to be educated.
Many are complaining about sumeru and natlan characters with names similar to gods in cultures of our world that are pale when their inspiration is dark skinned. Claiming they want representation and for it to be accurate, to reflect our world on a 1-1 scale.
Yet these same people will make xiao, zhongli, Ei, and many more asian characters darker " because asians can be dark skinned too". Yet so can mostly dark skinned races be pale.
So why cant you (gen) respect such characters, who are gods and divine beings based on a culture where pale is more beautiful, and gods of such cultures are pale?
There is hypocrisy in everything to do with blackwashing. Its okay when its done to pale characters because in real life black people have been oppressed? But these characters are not real, nor are they a reflection of our reality, as far as we have seen they dont even have racism in this fictional world.
It is one thing to explore a character like with the recent hatsune miku trend, atleast there most people arent going at each other's throats saying black miku is better than japanese miku(as far as i have seen)
Seriously how can you even begin to justify this. And who ever told you that dark skinned characters "scare white people" is an absolute fucking liar trying to justify their own bigotry towards white people.
No black washing IS just as disgusting as whitewashing. Neither should exist, and you shouldn't feed into the stupid circle jerk of bigotry that both of them are.
Aaaah that's what I like ! Yes ! Thank you for telling me your opinion, explaining what is wrong. I absolutely love to learn, and I prefer to read this long text calling me ignorant and explaining why that just a simple text of you saying you are annoyed by a fanart.
Thank you for telling me ! First yes I am french, and indeed my culture has more an european pov. But again, I also grow up as a minority "race" with my parents culture !🙏 in france, i don't look like a french. Well. Still I am aware that it doesn't remove anything from what I said
And I totally agree with you, some are just pale !! It just happens I draw Kinich black because I like it like this. Is Kinich true inspiration are actually pale ? Tell me more, I wish to learn !!
Tbh when you talk abt gods being pale is beautiful, I thought about Nahida. I did research when she were out and yes, I do agree, there is character who are fine as they are.
And because I live in France I also see "dark skin scare white" as a true fact. It happens and it is harmful. 🧍 not only in France tho, in country where pale skin is portrayed as beautiful, people who have tan skin are less represented even if it is the majority. I suppose the contrary happens too !!
"Character are not real" and yet you are annoyed, I guess it is the action of "blackwash" that make you mad, more than "a fictional character w diffent skin tone" tho! My opinion is fiction does affect real world, as do real life affects fiction, and this is something I won't debate on
"They don't have racism in this fictional world" sorry but it does in Sumeru. 🙏 about this one npc she is reject by forest and desert because of them being mixed, desert not being access to book and even Cyno said his scholarship was complicated because he is from desert
If you wish to continue, please send me DM with arguments. I don't know if I would change my mind of not drawing Kinich pale, but I am super interested about what you have to say !! 👍👍
45 notes · View notes
Note
Hey didn’t Shubble say that Wilbur would bit her in front of other people and she would “play along”? Aside from the obvious, she admitted that actively hid how she felt about some of the things he did. And she doubles down on that line of thinking, when Wilbur was depressed and couldn’t clean, did she say she tried talking to him or his friends and family for help? No she just stayed silent and cleaned. She claims Wilbur bit down a bit harder after she said the safe word? Well if he was used to biting up to that point wouldn’t he be surprised or shocked when he heard it? She doesn’t tell him off or ask him not to do it anymore, she implies it happened multiple times. That she gave him her permission to keep going. It shows that she would hide things from him that he would need to know, and she has the audacity to complain how he should’ve known?! Like girl if you had a problem with him then it’s up to you to talk to him about it!
Thats what im thinking! She said they talked it out, but it sounds like she was never honest with him and is blaming HIM for HER dishonesty, like girl people arent mind readers and dont gain the ability to read minds when you fucking start dating eachother.
Like if shes lying to him, thats not him being manupltive thats her not advocating for herself and or communicating honestly with her partner.
Shes the source the problem shes complaining about and the fact she has the nerve, my gods undatable. Shes undatable. Shes so neurotypical. Her talking mental health and depression makes it clear, shes very not demure mindful and very neurotypical.
And i dont say that with a funny haha, i mean shes generic white girl with firet world issues number 1097933 looking for excuses and drama. Im pretty sure she had less of an issue back then and then some friends conviencied her it was an issue.
Shes extremely dumb too, she keeps insisting because she never name dropped in her FIRST time talking about the issue that means she cant be sued when she would kater change the accuations and admit its him shes talking about, meaning technically yes, especially than thats hes coming to america, he CAN 100% slap back with a lawsuit of various kinds.
By her changing the story, shes actually giving herself less legal ground to stand out. Where as wilbur actually didnt admit to it, just said "im sorry you felt that way, i had no idea, i wish i knew because i have texts saying the opposite of what your claiming and we could have talked it out" like more or less, but like
Notice how wilbur doesnt bring up the accuations every two weeks, notice how hes not giving himself every other breath to change his story, hes not letting himself do that and by doing so hes giving himself more legal ground by ensuring he can keep his story straight. Hes doubling down on his version of events, but he didnt retell his version of events when hes annoucing hes doubling down, hes just saying that hes not changing his story and thats it.
Shelby even if unintentionally, has changed story and technically harrassed him trying to change the limelight to focus on her every other week, thats in the eyes of court, not the actions of a victim an innocent person. Thats the accuations of someone whos cried wolf and wants attention because she thinks shes pretty and people will gkve her what she wants.
Like her behavoir is text book "how to spot a liar" and im honestly annoyed at how dumb and sheep like her followers and @ranboosaysstuffs is. Like not my fuilt theyre gullible mindless sheep with no personaility and need someone else to tell them what to think or what to believe.
Like 🫠 honestly if you gonna be like that just leave the fandom, im glad Ranboo dropped minecrfat because honestly his old friends were too good for him and they dont deserve them, his old friends, tcehnoblade, philza, tommy deserve better than that spineless coward.
21 notes · View notes
jo-harrington · 1 day
Text
Chuck (Eddie Munson)
Tumblr media
Summary: It's just a regular closing shift at Benny's. Easy peasy. Nothing bad could possibly happen.
Word Count: 3.5k
Characters: Eddie, Jeff, Benny Hammond
Themes/Warnings: Boys will be boys, friendship, smutty intrusive thoughts, Masturbation(?), Food Fucking, Eddie has an unspecified romantic partner (could be Steve, could be Reader, could be anyone that's not what this story is about), Song Fic, What's a Little Psychological Torture Between Friends…
Note: You know what? In true unhinged fashion, I had to write this for @courtingchaos on her birthday and not only that but give her some credit here. This was born from us being stuck in a car on Lake Shore Drive, hangry and a little slap happy, on the way to Navy Pier after I witnessed something that was probably very similar (in the most innocuous way) at a suburban Burger King.
Meg, you are my life. My world. You are my Cheese. Burger. And this one's for you. Happy Birthday.
Thank you AGAIN to @dr-aculaaa for the beta and @deathbecomesthem for some of the diner lingo. Disclaimer that I never worked at a diner so this is probably horribly inaccurate...but just suspend your sense of disbelief if you have.
You can find my masterlist here.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Enjoy!
If anyone wants to get the full effect of this fic, you need to put Mr. Roboto on repeat for the duration of your time reading.
---
5:55PM
Jeff stared at the clock as he wiped down the counter.
Every tick of the second hand had him gritting his teeth a little more, enough where he should probably worry that he was gonna crack a tooth. All because Eddie was late for his closing shift.
Their closing shift.
And not just late, late again. For the third time in as many days they worked together.
If he even showed up.
Now Jeff wasn't one to complain. Shit, Eddie was the one to suggest that he apply at Benny's in the first place and put a good word in for his best friend.
Ben was getting a little older and wanted to enjoy what was left of his youth while he still had it, instead of solely being stuck behind his grill for the rest of his life. An extra waitress on the weekends, an extra line cook during the week, and the business ran smoothly, even when he decided to take a day off.
And Eddie was pretty much employee of the month, knowing all of the regulars orders like the back of his hand.
Until Jeff started getting scheduled alongside him.
Until Eddie started going on dates, and started "going steady" with someone.
Until Eddie started playing hooky to go and suck face and god knows what else while parked up at the quarry.
Jeff let his fist slam against the counter as another minute ticked away, only for the bell of the door to chime and Eddie walk in, shrugging his apron on and shedding his leather jacket in a flustered rush.
"Sorry I'm late," he said with an easy smile on kiss-swollen lips. Jeff rolled his eyes at the sight and at the apology. "Oh come on, I promise I'll be on time tomorrow. Scout's honor." Eddie crossed his finger over his heart.
"You weren't a scout," Jeff retorted.
"Hey now," Eddie teased, starting in on one of his typical Munson-isms that usually ended up in forgiveness or forgetfulness. "I actually was. For one day before some snot-nosed kid pushed me over and I accidentally said fuck. Then they asked me to leave. But once a scout, always a scout."
Jeff hummed and turned on his heel to push back into the kitchen and start prepping for the dinner rush.
The thing was...they worked really well together. They had a good routine of noting what tasks needed to be done throughout the night. It's not like the diner was ever that busy on weeknights and Benny had been doing it alone for years, but it was nice to have someone you got along with at work.
Well it was nice...when they were there. It was nice when your work buddy was actually reliable and helped you out, which made Jeff feel bad because Eddie was his friend, his best friend. But Jeff could let Eddie's luck and charisma let him slide through his responsibilities.
So Eddie was about to find out what kind of hell it was when you were in the weeds alone.
---
Jeff had gone out to take an order when the phone rang.
Eddie grabbed the receiver with a quick "yello'" only to get a familiar voice rasping on the other end.
"Can I speak to Jeffrey please?" came the reply from someone dramatically sounding like Edith Bunker.
Eddie rolled his eyes. "Gareth, I know it's you," he sighed.
"No, this is Jeff's grandma," the younger boy kept up the ruse, snickering a little at the end. "I need to talk to him."
Eddie let his head roll back on his shoulders as he heard the stifled giggling of his friend over the line, and then he peeked his head out of the passthrough.
"Jeff!" he called out. "Your grandma's calling."
Jeff donned an exaggerated and fake look of concern; he jogged across the diner and grabbed the receiver from Eddie's hand.
"Hello?" he answered and Eddie watched as his expressions got more animated, as did his voice. "Grandma? Oh no, what happened...an accident? You need help? You need me to leave work and come home right away?"
"What?!" Eddie shrieked and reached out to snatch the receiver back from Jeff's hand. He placed it against his ear but only heard Gareth laughing and then the ring tone. He was about to ask Jeff what the hell was going on, only to find him pulling his apron over his head. "Come on now, where do you think you're going?"
"I've gotta leave," Jeff shook his head frantically. "It's my grandma, she's in the hospital, I've gotta go."
"Jeff, come on."
"There's no one else to take care of her."
"Seriously. Quit it."
"You'll be ok by yourself tonight right?" Jeff ignored everything Eddie said and looked at him expectantly as he dug his hand in his pockets for his car keys.
For a moment, Eddie felt the panic rise within him; he figured Jeff was a little upset that he bailed the past few nights but...seriously it wasn't anything that Jeff couldn't handle.
Was his friend really that mad?
"Listen I'm sorry I bailed on work a few times this week," he apologized, but Jeff just shook his head and pulled out a roll of quarters.
Then another.
Then another.
And the panic Eddie had faded into curiosity, then realization.
No, Jeff wasn't mad; he was annoyed.
"Hey listen, it's just for tonight so I can check on my grandma, you'll be ok," Jeff explained as he walked over to the old jukebox in the corner of the dining room. He began loading the old machine up with quarters and punching buttons in rapid succession. "I'll even make it up to you. You can have all the tips in the tip jar from before you got here earlier and I'll put on some music that you'll like. Hey look, Ben took your advice and updated this a little.
"He even has your favorite Ed," Jeff glanced over his shoulder. "Styx."
Eddie groaned in loathing this time, thinking of the power ballads and synthesizer nightmares he was about to endure because his friend was gonna get back at him.
The Grand Illusion. Or worse Paradise Theater.
The records inside of the machine shifted as they queued up tracks for the next however-long Jeff had paid for.
"Don't do this Jeff," Eddie pleaded as his friend grabbed his jacket from the coatrack by the door. "I'll never skip work again. I promise. Just stay."
"But my grandma needs me Eddie..." he whined and then winked at Eddie before running out the door. "Have fun."
Eddie sighed and accepted defeat as the door shut and Jeff was gone, all while the sparkly synthesized voice began amidst electronic fanfare...
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto...
---
7PM
You know what? It didn't start out that bad.
"You're wondering who I am," Eddie sang along and bopped to the beat as he flipped burgers on the flat top. "Secret, secret, I've got a secret."
He had food to cook and orders to take and he fell right back into the routine of those short staffed nights when Benny started to realize how much he valued his personal time, but right before Jeff was hired.
It would be fine.
And there was a little musical accompaniment? Even better.
He figured that he might start loading the machine up with quarters before his shifts from now on, instead leaving it up to the chance of the customers.
"Machine or Mannequin?" He did a little spin. "Secret secret, I've got a secret."
Eddie hadn't even realized that the song that started out the night--Mr. Roboto--repeated itself until he got back to the kitchen, and then it repeated again.
And again.
He had to admit it was growing on him though. Like a cancer, but still growing. So he either needed to adapt or it would kill him. The lyrics were catchy, he could dance to it a little, and there was a good beat that he could almost headbang to if he tried.
It wasn't even that he hated Styx, he just hated what Styx stood for. Mainstream popular music. It was commercial and sanitized. Yeah Babe wasn't that bad of a song. And neither was this one. Shit...if he really thought about it, was the band even really that popular? They were underdogs, and he always rooted for an underdog.
"With parts made in Japan," he sang into his spatula and slapped slices of cheese onto his patties for dramatic effect. "I am thee modern man!"
---
8PM
So if you see me, acting strangely, don't be surprised.
There was a little bell at the pass that got hit whenever an order was up.
Of course, with Eddie being the only one working it didn’t need to get hit.
Still, every time Eddie passed it, he just had to tap his hand on the bell along with whatever verse or instrumental was playing.
I’m a man who needed someone and somewhere to hide.
It wasn’t getting to him.
No. Not at all.
It was just a graduation from him playing air guitar with a broom and drumming on the counter with spoons.
Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding ding ding.
Eddie tapped at the bell with both hands at the crescendo and then went to the walk-in to scream.
Nothing to worry about.
---
9PM
I’ve come to help you with your problems, so we can be free.
“Hey can you change the song at all? This one’s been repeating for a while.”
Eddie smiled tightly at the guy at the head of the long rectangular table and then dropped the blue plate special down in front of him with a clatter.
“It’s broken,” he explained, not wanting to get into it.
Several customers had asked already; it was getting as annoying as people who said they were tipping with kindness. Obviously if he could get another song on the jukebox, he would.
How many fucking quarters had Jeff put in there?
“Could you unplug it? Plug it back in again?”
He’d thought of that too.
But wasn’t it just his luck that they lived in the do-it-yourself amateur handyman Midwest…and the damn thing was wired into the wall itself.
And he really didn’t want to cut the line and have to explain to Benny how an electrical fire burnt down his diner.
“You know what?” Eddie took a slow, calming breath. “This is actually…my favorite song." There was a disbelieving blink. "A-and it’s my birthday.”
The withering look he received made him second guess burning down the place; it actually didn’t seem so bad after all. He could deal with Benny.
I’m just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control. Beyond my control. We all need control.
---
10PM
I am the modern man, who hides behind a mask…
Eddie wore his Freak label proudly.
He accepted it, everyone else accepted it.
But maybe this music was getting to him a little bit as he started noticing of the different inanimate objects around Benny’s that he could potentially fuck.
That was a level of Freak that he really hadn’t embraced yet.
So no one else can see my true identity!
Well, it was sort of always there simmering beneath the surface. He had been a horny teenager and was now a horny young man. There was always a question about what objects he could stick his dick into.
But he’d tried to curb that curiosity after the pool noodle incident.
Now though…he was far enough gone that things were starting to appeal to him again. And it scared him a little bit for those thoughts to pop up during work.
Not enough to stop though.
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto. Domo. Domo.
First it was a bagel with the perfect hole.
Actually, was it even the music causing this? How dare that bagel look so damn fuckable. Cream cheese wouldn’t be the best lube, he had to admit. But he didn’t mind trying. Unfortunately that bagel was needed for someone’s sober-up sandwich.
Then there was a hole in the vinyl of one of the booths. He stared at it every time he brought out an order or bussed a table. Eventually he couldn’t help himself and he lightly ran two fingers over it and then plunged them inside the hole, like a lover would, only to find the edges were jagged and rough…and he was disappointed that it wouldn’t be the most pleasurable experience.
He wasn’t one to say no to a little bit of teeth when getting his dick sucked but that wasn’t what he was looking for right now.
At one point he even considered fucking the jukebox itself. Get it to shut up once and for all.
The logistics weren’t right.
Where would he even put his cock? Just rub the head of him along the coin slot while he jerked off? Pass.
His depravity needed to be put on hold though, because as he was in the walk-in trying to cut a channel into a head of iceberg that might be the perfect fit for him, he spotted a tub of hamburger with a label in Benny’s chicken scratch saying “discard” with the date.
He froze and let his thoughts swirl before he shook his head and put the iceberg down. He slammed his hand against his forehead as though that would make his internal monologue right itself.
Because what the hell was he doing?
Regardless of the absolute torture he was enduring, he was still at work and had a job to do.
Why was he trying to fuck a head of lettuce? Or fingering a hole in a booth. No, he was absolutely losing his mind, he needed to control himself, he needed to get back to work.
He was about to exit the walk-in when he glanced back at the tub.
“Can't forget that tonight,” he muttered to himself as a reminder.
Then back into the kitchen he went.
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto. Domo. Domo.
---
11PM
“Thank you very much Mr. Roboto,” Eddie muttered as he dropped maraschino cherries into milkshakes. His voice was ragged, desperate. Pleading. “For doing the job nobody wants to.”
“Thank you very much Mr. Roboto,” he deadpanned as he numbly swept the floor. “For helping me escape when I needed to.”
Thank you.
Thank you.
I wanna thank you.
Please thank you.
Thank you thank you.
Thank you thank you.
“Thank you,” Eddie smiled, as the joy finally die inside of his body as he rang out the last customers. But it was rapidly born once again as he waved goodbye. “Thank you thank you!”
---
12AM
The doors were locked, the lights in the dining room closed.
And Eddie stood in the kitchen with a lit cigarette in his mouth as he concentrated on the task at hand.
The problem was plain to see. Too much technology. The jukebox still played out on the floor.
Machines to save our lives? No. Machines dehumanize.
He shouldn’t be fucking the jukebox or a head of lettuce or a bagel. No. He needed something warm and malleable.
Living.
Or well…close enough.
It was the perfect idea! Instead of taking it right to the dumpster, he’d taken the tub of ground chuck out of the walk-in and let it get to room temp at the end of his shift, and now he was standing there molding it into the right shape.
He was ready and aching after palming himself in anticipation. He’d meticulously wrapped his hard cock in plastic wrap, for lack of a better option. He needed this.
He deserved this.
Why hadn’t he ever thought of this before?
The time has come at last…
He put out the cigarette in the meat then lined up with the channel he'd crafted. He hissed as he sunk in—synthesized angels sung all around him, guitars strumming in harmony—and finally felt relief for the first time all night.
Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret.
His hips rocked in time with the beat, driving deeper and deeper. He felt the slightest bit of cold when he finally bottomed out, the center of the Chuck not entirely at room temp yet. It was an unexpected thrill and he shuddered as pleasure shot through him.
He let his head fall back and he laughed with the feeling, laughed uncontrollably, and the sound echoed through the diner, forever scarring the walls with wicked glee.
To throw away this mask.
It was strange, fucking what was essentially a mass of viscous sludge. Not bad, just strange. Not entirely wet but not dry either. Maybe it was perfect actually, something he never knew he needed. Just for him. A little slice of cheese...er, heaven...just for him.
Especially when he formed meat to suit his desires as it shifted.
That feral grin stayed on his lips as he worked himself to completion, as he pumped mercilessly.
Secret, secret, I’ve got a secret.
And somewhere in all of the hubbub, Eddie came to the conclusion that although it wasn’t perfect, he could get used to it if he had to.
Because he had to.
He'd be stuck here forever, lost in Dennis DeYoung's vocal prison until the end of time.
Now everyone can see my true identity.
He thrust harder and faster, panting and kneading and clenching until all he knew was the meat and secret secrets and his own depravity as he spiraled downwards further into insanity.
I'm Kilroy.
He felt it coming.
Kilroy.
Cumming.
Kilroy.
It exploded out of him with those last few emphasized beats of the synthesizer. He felt the cling wrap bulge with his spend, felt the tingles along his spine and through his limbs as his orgasm shot through his body.
He leaned over, satiated, until his nose brushed the meat in sensuous exhaustion.
Kilroy.
He could hear his pulse in his ears, along with a buzzing din of tinnitus, and the ticking of a clock out in the dining room.
But where he expected the beginning of the next round of torture, Eddie only heard silence.
He breathed heavy, broken breaths. Gulps of air that felt like too much oxygen and not enough at the same time. He felt lightheaded.
It was over.
His punishment finally over.
He closed his eyes and thanked whatever God or Demon gifted him with this boon, and then his eyes shot open and he stood straight up as he stared at the mess he made.
"Fuck."
---
The Next Day, 5PM
Jeff felt like the cat that ate the cream when he drove to work the following day.
He felt a little bad about what he’d done to Eddie, and he had all the intention to make it back to Benny’s around 7 or 8, but Gareth had convinced him not to.
“Come on,” he’d told Jeff. “You know Eddie’s gonna get a good laugh out of it.”
“Yeah! Besides,” Dave interjected. “Shame on him for leaving you up shit’s creek so much. Hopefully this’ll teach him a lesson.”
And Jeff agreed with them.
He and Eddie were friends but that didn’t mean Eddie could walk all over him.
He was glad to see the van parked in Benny’s lot when he arrived for his shift, and as far as he could tell, everything was normal when he walked in.
Ben was at the grill and Eddie at the counter.
Actually, everything looked better than normal. Everything in the diner looked squeaky clean and under the smells of cooked food, there was a tinge of the disinfectant they used to deep clean.
“You must’ve had the slowest night ever if you did a deep clean of the place,” Jeff clapped a hand on Eddie’s back and noticed that Eddie stiffened under his touch. “What time did all those quarters run out?”
Eddie laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck.
“Little after midnight,” he chuckled. “And it was fine. But, uh, now I know better than to fuck with you again.”
“Yeah you’re on time today, you beat me here!”
Eddie grabbed his arm as he passed and then leaned in close, voice pleading and desperate.
“I’ll never be late again, won’t be a no show, but please…don’t ever subject me to that hell again. Please.”
"Scout's honor," Jeff cackled.
Upon Eddie’s look of relief, Jeff headed back to get himself settled.
He chatted with Benny for a second before the older man left for the night. But as he went to the walk-in to get more onions to chop, he noticed something.
“Hey Ed!” He called out through the pass and Eddie turned. “Thanks for tossing that ground chuck! Or…Domo arigato I guess heh.”
He turned back to the task at hand, so he didn’t notice all the color drain from Eddie’s face.
24 notes · View notes
rhondafromhr · 2 days
Text
TGWDLM AU where Bill is the main character (below the cut because I rambled A LOT)
He becomes the guy who doesn’t like musicals after he spends all that money on tickets to the Starlight and sits through Mamma Mia and Alice doesn’t even appreciate it (by chance, they see the showing, like, the night before the meteor hits). Pokey then sets his sights on Bill instead of Paul—his hatred of musicals comes from a more emotional place connected to what he treasures most, which will make for a really compelling arc in the last remaining story to tell that Pokey just can’t resist. He also has a clearly defined want (connecting with Alice), so Pokey decides he makes a more suitable musical protagonist.
Little does Pokey know this is going to make things a huge pain in the ass for him. Bill can canonically snap out of Blinky’s control when he sees that Alice is distressed and in danger (Watcher World), so maybe this resistance could apply to other Lords in Black and give him a fighting chance in their apocalypses.
He gets to the school and “Not Your Seed” happens. He thinks he’s too late and he’s devastated, but it turns out Alice is just pretending to be infected to blend in with the rest of the hive so they don’t get her. In this universe, she wrote the song for one of her musicals (she writes musicals as well as plays in this timeline) and sang it because it was the first song that came to mind. It brings up a really uncomfortable, but long awaited conversation between them and they start working through their issues as they try to survive together. This culminates in them understanding each other and their differences better and learning how to play to each other’s strength (in sync, but very much individuals who only work so well together because of their differences, a foil to Pokey’s hive mind).
They manage to destroy the meteor like Paul never could. Bill’s declaration as they finish it off is: “I. Don’t. Like. Your. Musical!” He doesn’t want to say he doesn’t like musicals in general, because he’s trying to be more supportive of Alice’s interests. This is a final insult to Pokey before he’s defeated, because it’s way less dramatic than the actual line from the show and it ruins his grand finale. Even if Bill triumphed and he didn’t get his singular voice, he could have taken comfort in a big, theatrical conclusion with a grand, decisive statement, but Bill won’t even give him that because of his infuriating care for his daughter.
Also Bill is the regular at Beanie’s instead of Paul. Emma likes him because he’s one of the only customers that’s polite to her and he doesn’t make her sing. She doesn’t complain about making his caramel frappe, even though she’s totally the type of barista who judges you for liking sweet sugary drinks that are complicated to make. They bond over their struggles to connect with their families and give each other the best advice they can. He’s encouraging of her pot farm dream, even if he doesn’t understand it, but makes her promise not to sell to Alice because he’s worried about Deb being a bad influence and turning her into a hardcore stoner. When General McNamara asks if she’s a friend or if she’s something more, he replies, “No, but she’s important to me. Isn’t there more than one type of love?” This causes McNmara to wistfully remember a long lost friend (maybe Wilbur Cross) and agree.
16 notes · View notes
fanonical · 2 days
Note
I see your point about June (and June is my favorite too). And I've definitely seen people headcanoning trans boy John out of really blatant spite, and complaining about June in a way that felt extremely pointed, like her mere existence is an insult and a source of hurt.
Buuuut on the other hand, many people loved transfem Roxy for a long time before the Epilogues, and I think it's fine and fair for them (... okay, us) to feel fleetingly disappointed that Roxy is transmasc in the Epilogues. I also think it's fine and fair to continue headcanoning Roxy as transfem, because the Epilogues were very explicitly in-text framed as one possible continuation out of many. I won't lie, I just love that t4t f/f Roxygen.
So my line of thinking is, it's probably still fine and fair to also love trans guy John, if people are inclined that way. It's more about the way that they do it? If you're finding yourself framing June as some kind of invasion on your holy safe space by the mean and terrible new writers of Homestuck, you need to take a step back and reexamine the transmisogynist bias there, and most importantly you need to stop being so goddamn rude to the people making art that just isn't for you. But on the other hand, I think simply ignoring the Epilogues and doing your own thing with trans boy John and his shaving cream trauma, that to me is perfectly in line with - and in fact respectful of - the spirit of the Epilogues.
(Similarly, I don't think it'd be bad to do a reading of the TUA comics where Vanya is a trans girl; I don't even think it'd be bad to write an AU genderswap of the TUA show universe where Viktor is a trans girl, though I'd greatly prefer if other characters' gender was changed too in that case.) (For example, I'd enjoy a full swap where A and V Hargreeves were the only "boys" growing up, and then V transitions and A is left all alone with his masculinity and he lets it steep into resentment. Also, sometimes you want trans girls with violins blowing up the world.)
Right, I hear what you’re saying but I think there’s a couple of key differences here
First of all, we know for a fact that Roxy being transmasc was prompted by a transmasc writer who was repeatedly & horribly transmisogynistic about transfem headcanons, so I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to assume that he really did specifically hate transfem Roxy headcanons out of spite so much that he made it an impossible reading in both timelines. But even then — I do think that if somebody specifically just decided Roxy is transfem and everything else from the Epilogues is the same (or magically headcanoned away as making sense somehow) then they would be intentionally misunderstanding & rejecting the text too. Like, that’s ok, that’s literally what a large part of fandom is, but the reasons for doing this are not neutral, and they reflect hegemonies & wider values.
In the case of transfem Roxy the point is to pointedly reject something we think is transmisogynistic — we have been teased with transfem Roxy for years, it’s an obvious & clear reading of her relationship to Callie in Act 6, and so I think it’s a legitimate criticism of the Epilogues. Meanwhile, there straight has not been years of hints for transmasc John, in fact, to headcanon June as transmasc you have to pointedly ignore her already extant queer narrative.
I also think you either misunderstand or are intentionally misunderstanding how alternate realities work in The Homestuck Epilogues & Homestuck Beyond Canon. They are not just one continuation out of many — there is only the two as far as I’m aware. I’m not up to date with HSBC but it’s my understanding that reality was cleft in two.
i agree with you on the Umbrella Academy! because this is something that has been like rebooted to switch things up, those characters are gonna get remixed. i’d love to see a transfem Vanya somewhere down the line. but if i only blogged about the tv show and i was constantly & loudly explaining how i prefer transfem Vanya and how she should be transfem in the show then I think that would obviously be in poor taste.
i think what bothers me is the boldness of so many men to be like “idk i just prefer this as a man character” right in the replies of posts where transfems are gushing about/sharing their transfem headcanons. I can’t even talk about June being trans without a few people saying that, and that’s actually confirmed as 100% happening, so it’s even more impossible to escape with like transfem Link headcanons etc.
i think all in all, transmascs, trans boys & trans men should try and leave more space for their sisters in the community. it is not subversive to wish every character was a man. just misogynistic. leave room for transfems, trans girls & trans women in fandom and beyond, folks.
15 notes · View notes
emberdune · 2 years
Text
what the fuck is my package doing
1 note · View note
Text
this torture we're going through with the anime must be divine karma for slandering Bones all this time...... they said "oh, you don't like how we adapt things? you say the manga does it better?? okay then, well now there is no more manga. it's Bones or bust, bitches."
243 notes · View notes
wormchaser · 2 days
Note
you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
10 notes · View notes
tethrras · 3 months
Text
my mom literally trying to gaslight me in real time is sooo funny
#can i say quite literally the most cunty annoying thing in the entire world.#it is very frustrating to me that i send my birthday wishlist. a month before my birthday.#and everyone waits till the last week to get stuff. like.#i get my stuff for people 3 weeks before birthdays and christmas most of the time if they give me lists#and literally some ppl are shopping for me like 4 days before my bday and asking what i want#even though i already. sent a wishlist.#and i don't get it like#i never buy myself fun things bc i hate spending money#so i ask for fun silly stuff you have to buy online bc otherwise i'll never get it#and then they also never get it for me bc they never look at what i want until last minute#and i don't get it lol!!! makes me feel like no one actually wants to get me anything#and just does it out of obligation like#i care about getting stuff ppl want and making them happy#IDK I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SO CUNTY I SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN#THAT PPL WANNA GET ME THINGS AT ALL#it's just like. i care a lot about effort yenno.#SIGH WHATEVER. I JUST THINK IT'S FUNNY MY MOM TRIED TO GASLIGHT ME ABT THIS CONVO#i told her to tell my brothers gf not to get me x piece of dndads merch cuz tay wanted to get it for me#and that the gf could get me dragon age posters i put on my google doc#my mom comes back down says the dndads stuff wouldn't come by my birthday#and i said i literally told you to tell her not to get her that because tay wants to get me that#and she was like no you said the other thing#NO. I DID NOT. LOL.#AND THEN SHE ROLLED HER EYES AT ME WHEN I CORRECTED HER#like.............................................#ANYWAY. SORRY FOR BEING THE WORST MOST ANNOYING GIRL IN THE WORLD AND#EXPRESSING THE MOST GLARINGLY FIRST WORLD PROBLEM OF ALL TIME#i just want ppl to genuinely care about me on my birthday like sorry if that is too much to ask!!!#maia.txt
13 notes · View notes
nyaacatboy · 5 days
Text
hey aros/aces of tumblr has anyone else figured out to express the sentiment "I hate it when people complain about being single to me" to allos without them launching into the perfectly valid ways in which they are unhappy with their singleness or conflating "complain about being single" with "talking about dating or being attracted to anyone."
3 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 6 months
Note
would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
8 notes · View notes
annabelle--cane · 1 year
Text
uh oh gang I miss musicals
32 notes · View notes
daffypsyduck · 9 months
Text
x
#i fucking hate always being the one who has it worse than others#it alienates on so many fucking levels#you don’t have the energy to meet up with people bc you’ve had to solve already seven different life altering problems that week#as if you’re on a magic quest#oh and four of those you can’t do anything about bc world politics or finances or societal problems etc#the other three resurfaced some other things you already felt bad about four years ago and could never get rid off in your head#and then of course when people ask you how your xyz was and you either just shrug and lie and give the expected answer#or you tell them the truth how horrible this holiday was or how that thing everyone is supposed to enjoy was actually not possible for you#bc see above#of course ppl will also tell you their problems#but you won’t be able to help thinking ‘okay and…?’ bc quite honestly ppl are complaining about wild shit#where either the solution is ‘do something about it’ or it’s not actually more than a minor complaint in the first place#which leads to the dreaded gap of me thinking ‘i can’t believe you are complaining to me about that when you know i struggle w xyz’#‘and have been for 4 years. it has no future of getting fixed btw itll just always be like that why are you complaining about this bs to me’#or the other person finally remembering like. compatibility of certain issues and they just finish with#‘of course that‘s not half as bad as it is for you’#which they will start hating you for at some point definitely btw#bc they never get to complain about their little life which i understand#but like. i didn‘t choose this y’know#oh and btw they will still hold you up to their standards always#didn‘t clean your flat? didn’t fill out those documents in time? don’t have your life on track?#well that is clearly your fault#and has nothing to do w the circumstances that keeps them from rightly complaining about their own little problems to you#i’m so tired of it it’s so tiring i’m so exhausted#like girl i wish it was easier for me too y’know i’m not doing this for fun#barely holding on as is and then you have to take everyone’s little hurt feelings into account too#bc they’ll also judge you as negative nancy if you have nothing good to say when they ask you how it’s going#‘no one likes a negative attitude’ yeah i’m aware. i live this daily as i struggle to get by. thanks#.txt
3 notes · View notes