#i let my insecurities get the best of me and i unfortunately ended up deleting the previous one

[littlemoriflower]

I went out with my friend yesterday 🩷✨

[ladygoth]

Gotta keep this short n quick im sorry needa rush to somewhere

Simon makes her jealous in some kinda way, and she feels jealous at first, but then her insecurities get the best of her and Simon not saying i love you to her sends her to the past.

I don’t know how was this lol but anything angsty would be cooollll love youuu

if you think i've deleted this i havent i was just wondering what would be the proper plot lmao. thank you for this ask

♱⋆♱ ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇꜱ ♱⋆♱

mdni very 18+ angst, insecure!reader, annoying!ghost, make-up/surprise sex, oral!femreceiving, rough sex and daddy kink

simon ghost riley.

summary - ghost makes you feel insecure about your relationship with him but he makes it up to you in the end.

specifically influenced by the weeknd - wicked games.

You thought that you guys were past this, the petty moments and disputes, but you had an idea that there’d be a time where Ghost would want to mentally stab back, have you jealous with the way you had him jealous, specifically with Mike.

Though did he have to do it when things were getting better between the both of you?

Did he have to flirt in front of you? With a waitress in the restaurant, he took you out in? Between the both of you, you had always imagined Ghost to be the more mature and cultivated individual, but you been aware that life was always full with surprises.

During the drive back to the apartment building, you had been silent, arms crossed and leaning opposite away from him while he tried to lay his hand against your thigh, he did speak about how pretty you looked, how the dress you wore was so appealing on you and he couldn’t wait to take it off you, but your lack of response had him aware that you had been put off.

“Baby?” He called, his tone light but curious and you had wondered if he had pretended to act stupid, to hear from you why you had been upset. “What’s wrong?”

Unresponsive, you had looked down at your knees, worried that if you had uttered a word you’d tremble into tears.

“Doll?” He called, “if you’re upset, I’d like for you to communicate.” He said and nervous, you had licked your lower lips. “Things just started to get good again luvie.”

“Why did you have to flirt with her?” You asked.

“I wasn’t flirting with her, was jus’ being kind,” he shrugged and dissatisfied you had furrowed your eyebrows, your face screwed and cattish. Aware of the malevolent look on your face, he had softly sighed. “She complimented me and I complimented her back, nothing to over-think about.”

Jaw clenched, you had looked through the glass window, focusing on the night lights that his car had driven pass by. “Baby,” he muttered and with a catty spirit you had picked up your phone and scrolled through the endless social media algorithm you had found yourself in. “We need to speak to each other---”

“Well, I don’t want to, just drive back home,” you muttered and defeated Ghost had remained reticent as he resumed driving back to the apartment building. Once the both of you had arrived, you had quickly let yourself out of the vehicle, ignoring his calls, you had entered the building, briefly greeting the receptionist as you had entered the elevator, though Ghost had been quick, catching up after you, which had been unfortunate, for you.

“Don’t be childish about this, love,” he said, his voice rough before pressing the level button both your homes had been in. “You coming home with me? Or is it yours we’re gonna be in.”

Amused, you had briefly looked up at him, it was as if he had taken mission to piss you off. “I want to be on my own.”

“Jesus Christ,” he sighed. “A’right, I’m sorry for complimenting the waitress, happy?” He asked as the elevator doors opened, a ding echoing in the comfortable spaced box. You had stepped out of the elevator, arms crossed as you scurried to your front door, feeling Ghost’s figure shadow after you. “Doll,” he breathed. “I don’t want to go sleep knowing you’re upset with me,” he shared.

“Isn’t it something you’re used to?” You spat as you pushed your key in.

“Not something I want to live through again,” he spoke while following you in. “I’ll sleep in the other room if you want.”

“What I want, is for you to not be here,” you snapped. “But it’s not like you ever listen to me.”

“If I listened to you love, that would lead me to standing out your door the next day because you won’t open it, you would probably change the locks too.”

You clicked your tongue in annoyance, he was somewhat correct. “Okay,” you huffed as you pulled off your coat. “I’ll be going to bed, don’t come into my room.” You said and without countering with a comment, Ghost had sighed before leading himself into the guest room.

♱⋆♱

You weren’t able to sleep, and you hated the fact that you would’ve been able to sleep if Ghost had been beside you, his arms wrapped around your waist, engulfing you with his heat while his chin rests against the top of your head, his light snores lulling you into a deep slumber. Then you’d wake up to him making breakfast, kissing you once you make it to him and he’d do that thing where he squeezes your ass before bringing you into a deep kiss.

You had sighed as you had dragged yourself to the open kitchen, the lamp had still been on and you had checked the time and had noticed it had barely been two hours since you had gone to sleep. and the ambience had been somewhat comforting, thus you had tasked yourself to drink water and to have a little snack before returning to bed, but you couldn’t help be but absorbed and consumed by the endless thoughts that had wheeled in your head.

Were you over-reacting? Were you being insecure, the fact that Ghost had never told you that had loved you had swamped and deluged your security. The two of you were able to make it past the three-month period but you couldn’t help but feel like Ghost would find someone better than you, someone he would tell “I love you,” to.

Maybe it was just as simple as that, Ghost didn’t love you, perhaps he was just infatuated with you, and had found himself to be sexual and erotic whenever he had been around you, and you had deciphered that lust to be, love.

“Couldn’t sleep?” God.

You had jumped, your hand pressed against your chest as you had gasped, he wasn’t wearing his mask, handsome and beautiful as ever he had leaned against the sharp corner of a wall, arms crossed, face still but a bit humoured. With your eyebrows furrowed, you had sat yourself down on one of the island seats, close to the lamp that had dimply illuminated the space.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” You asked.

“Why aren’t you, love?” He countered and with your lips pressed into a thin line, you had adjusted your sight forward. “You’re crying.”

What?

Quickly, you had wiped your tears once you had settled down your glass, aware that he had moved closer to you, sitting himself next to you, “Babydoll,” he muttered and with a short hum, you barely glanced his way. “Should’ve known how much it would’ve affected you.”

“Okay.”

“I care for you a lot, you know that?”

“Yeah.”

You were unsure.

“I was being stupid.”

“Yeah.”

He paused. “You don’t want to talk to me?”

“Yeah.”

“Goodnight then,” he muttered as he left the seat he previously sat on, leaving to the guest room, he took one last look, expecting for a goodnight but there had been nothing said from you.

♱⋆♱

Eyes blurred, you had gently gripped the sheets as you had felt a strong commodity continuously part the hearth between your legs, a light confused moan echoing in your room transforming into strong whiny groan once you understood what had been happening.

“Ghost,” you whimpered, your hand now dug into his short hair, his mouth buried between your cunt as he greedily licked between your skin, the flat texture of his tongue teasing against your pearl repeatedly, playing and sucking with the bud hungrily, he had moaned, standing on his knees as continued to devour your nectar. “Fuck!” You cried out, “fuck you…” you had trembled as your eyes rolled back in pleasure, feeling the warm palm of his hands stroke towards the back of your knees, pushing your leg down to spread your pussy more.

His eyes staring at you, erotic with mischief he had commenced to flick the tip of his tongue against your sex, the lower body of his stiff, as he could feel himself want to cum. “Shit,” he moaned as he humped his covered cock against your bed, “so good princess,” he whined, his moan tight as his load seeped in his clothes, proudly cumming to the taste and scent of your ambrosia, he had now began to selfishly suck on your heat, his ears flooded with the high moans from you, your legs trembling at the approaching orgasm, you had leaned your head back, your sex hot and wet at the sight of your boyfriend’s handsome face go down on you.

Your cries echoing into a brewing shameful cry, your toes curling as your nectar gushed and heaved against his face, Simon, desperate to catch as much of your eject with his mouth, his opening slurping with the effect of your sweet expel as your hand had possessively still been at the top of his head, your eyes blurry with erotic tears once he had pulled away from you, once more, you had noted how he had cummed himself, an arrogant smile laced on your face as you had watched him gravely pull down his pants, aware that he had not worn boxers, the large cock heaved out of his clothes.

Red and angry, you had viewed the fierce veins that had been wrapped around his cock boldly stand out, his length throbbing in desire of your wetness and hearth. “Oh, Babydoll,” he lightly whined, hovering over you before he had kissed you, the tip of his cock shadowing against your wet opening, his lips moving to your jaw before sliding himself inside of you, your insides shifting and spreading due to his size and as kickback your mouth had opened and loudly moaned.

He didn’t take long before adjusting into a quick pace, formed in his favourite position, the mating press, you had felt your sex grip tightly around him once you felt his tip sweep against your cervix, his face focused and lustful he resumed on adjusting his hips backwards and forwards, his veiny cocky kissing the soft walls of your heat that had possessively wrapped around him, had influenced him to push his size deeper into your body, “Fit just for me,” he moaned, “so perfect,” he whined as he continued to buck his hips forward.

“Just for you,” you moaned, “I’m just for you,” you cried out, overwhelmed by his size you had brought your nails against his bare back, digging them into his skin, marking his body with your digits---you had frantically pulled your head back, his sac smacking against your ass while the length of his shaft dug deeper than the previous push.

Your lips had trembled. “Daddy!” You cried out, drowned by your pleasure you had been unaware of the bulge print that had stuck out from your stomach, Ghost prideful of his cock fitting in your tight cunt had resumed on abusing the spongy button within your sex with the head of his member, your moans twirling higher every second while the friction had moved your body to move on its own.

“Good girl, you’re such a good girl for me,” he muttered. “So tight and wet,” he said before he had bit his lips, his thrusts angry and hungry, racing for his climax the man had continued to buck his hips forward, “imma fill you up with my cum,” he whined, “belly swollen,” he desperately whispered, “All because of me, such a good girl, my little princess.”

His obsessive comments whispered into your ear, egging you into dishevelled state, a pinch feeling gathering around your sex before your walls continuously throbbed around him. “Cum for me,” he commanded. “Cum for your daddy, show me I’m yours, I can only make you feel this good, only me,” he said and with your eyes almost closed, you had desperately nodded your head, obedient as hot tears trickled down your skin while your hot cum laced around his width.

 “Good girl,” he cooed before kissing you once more, his length digging deeper into your sex as his sac had swelled, frantic to cum inside you the man had continued to push himself, the wetness of both your sexes echoing inside of your room just as he cummed inside of you, his hot load seeping deep inside, coating your walls and cervix with his nectar as he released one tight grunt. “There you go,” he whispered before pulling out of you.

Exhausted you had heavily breathed, eyes almost shut you could feel Ghost swipe his thumb against your lower lip. “Still mad at me?” He asked.

“No,” you replied.

“Good girl.”

a compilation of what i think is ghost's favourite position

pussy eating reference :)) and if it doesnt work use vpn

[formerchaoslord]

RiFT! all good? I hope so! Remember our conversation about the possible existence of a Bert son of Regal? then! I improved this idea!

Firstly, let's do him before he "rebellion" (I was going to do a version of him in the Picrew, but I decided to describe it) a skinny boy with somewhat pale skin, but his freckles give him a little life, in contrast to he's dark circles, his loose hair reaches up to his shoulder, I don't know if Bert's hair is curly or simply something unknown to me, but it's the same color as his father's hair, before he "rebellion" he was all about "doing it for my father" "getting this for my father" "help my father" "do you know my father?" "live for my father" "father"

he had no personality, he had no interests, he couldn't live if it weren't for his father, but that changed when he met Lan, well, it took a long process, but he finally rebelled, hehehe

rebellious now, he dyes his hair red and starts wearing his hair tied up, and now he has personality! insecure, courageous, intelligent, whiny, stressed (when pressured), kind, affectionate, and doesn't miss the opportunity to take something from his father, like LaserMan.EXE!!

(as I unfortunately haven't seen anything from BN, I could be wrong about what I'm going to say now, corrections are totally accepted here!) Before MegaMan.EXE deletes Laser, Bert stops him, and they even think he was a cheater, but no, he just shut down Laser, and then restarted him, changing certain aspects of his personality, and then making him his operator!

I also think about a friendly relationship between Bert and Coronel.EXE, more because of Baryl, but nothing is certain yet

but the thing I most like to think about this Bert is the relationship between grandson and grandfather with Wily!

for now, I can only imagine Wily singing "Mother (grandpa?) knows best" from Tangled, more specifically the rerun

"If he's lying, don't come crying, grandpa knows better!" but even with that feeling of "I don't care about you" deep down, he does care

Well, that was it, sorry for the long text, I was really excited! hehe, and making it clear that all this could change when i actually start see BN, but for now, we have this! hehehe, bye bye! to the next!

"Ah. Hello again. I have been well, thank you. I hope everything is well on your end...

"Yes, I do remember this conversation. A very interesting concept. I think I would like to meet the Bert of that dimension... Also, I do like the possibility of LaserMan getting a redemption Arc, especially since his operator did in the prime timeline, but poor LaserMan remained deleted. My job can be hard, but nice little moments and details like this can make it fun, especially when it means making a new friend..."

"Hey. Sorry to cut in all of a sudden, but does Wily still get redeemed by the end of the Cybeast incident in Bert's dimension, or does he stay a villain?"

"I... Believe we're still figuring it out, Lan. We still don't know everything about this said dimension. It's more of a... Concept."

"Are we breaking the fourth wall again? Do you know how tough it was to repair it the last time we did that?"

"If it makes you feel any better, don't consider any of this canon."

"It doesn't..."

"If I can interject, the idea of having a grandson does intrigue me. Though, if I don''t renounce my evil ways in said dimension, I'd be fearful of how it would effect Bert, especially after seeing how much I failed Regal as a father..."

"Even if that's the case, Wily, who that version of Wily doesn't effect who who are now. We have been very grateful for your help during this Multiverse War."

"Anyway, I enjoyed the concept and would love to hear more about it if you ever have more to add. And if this dimension turns up, I'd love to visit it someday."

[hoghtastic]

How would you know if someone has the same email address? you can only know that by hacking someone, if that is what you did or you so called friend (is he or she in the room with us?) then u hope you die from aids ❤️

wtf is wrong with you? leave that woman alone for fuckings sake.

and yes she had made her profile private for a long while, then deleted it and created a new one, which was on and off private for a while and you still feel the need to discredit her. are you so insecure about yourself that you cannot leave that girl alone while she did NOTHING to get any attention, just being stalked by a couple of people who either may have found out things OR interpreted things in a way that now is being interpreted in a very unfortunate way to discredit a person who hardly anyone knows anything about.

Also I DO have a couple of people I have talked to who had sent you stuff regarding this and your so called info about the allegedly same email address, and you had decided to post only half of it, by only screenshotting some of it and cutting out the things you didn't like.

me and a friend messaged that woman a couple of times and informed her about the things that were going on in case someone had or is really trying to hack her, sent her screens from the old blog and this one and she replied only one single thing. no text nothing. but a screenshot that showed that her ig is not even connected to any email address but ONLY her phone number and nothing else. so your "Source" is either yourself lying or someone lying and manipulating things. leave that woman alone, if you feel the need to do so, give your attention to someone who obviously enjoys it and not to someone who obviously is a private person (and either way past whatever there was or was not.)

excited to see if you once again will be so cowardly not post it or cut out the things you dislike.

First of all, why do you feel so personally offended about this? Someone brought it up and I simply replied to the best of my ability, with the info I had, and if you have some kind of reading comprehension, you’d know that I even stated I couldn’t confirm it was the absolute truth. So at the end of the day, it’s up to people to make their own judgement.

And if you’re within your right to doubt my “sources”, so am I to doubt yours. No one sent anything regarding this, other than the screenshots I mentioned. Plus, there is no way I can edit asks. They’re posted the way they’re sent, so no, I’m not manipulating anything or posting only the things I like. Why would I, anyway? It was never that serious and I have no personal interest in this matter. I’ve always been the first to say to just let it die, as real or not, it’s in the past and doesn’t matter anymore. Besides, I never “trash talked” artist girl (or anyone, for that matter), and I challenge you to search through all the blog’s posts and try to find one where I did.

That said, and since you’ve had your spotlight, I really hope we can put this matter to rest now, or if you wish to continue this discussion, I ask you to keep a civil tone, otherwise I won’t post anymore asks about this. (And yes, I’m warning you beforehand, so you won’t feel too offended about it.)

Have a nice day!

[finelinevogue]

Can you do a concept where harry has a girlfriend who loves to read and she would always tells him about everything she reads and he would listen to her paitently and sometimes ask her to read to him just to hear her talk

yes of course! i'm a hoe for reading and books so this is my dream sort of situation! i'm making up a book by the way. here we go;

You had just finished your most recent chapter when Harry walked into the room.

He was back off tour for a while and he had decided to come home, because unfortunately someone in his crew had tested positive for covid. Harry hadn't been near this person and he was not going to be able to spend 10 days without you next to him, so he came straight home to you after doing lateral flow tests and PCR ones.

“Got the strawb—”

“Sshh!” You shushed Harry as he walked into the room with a plateful of chocolate coated strawberries, per your request, “Noah’s about to kiss Lily!” You squealed, giving your boyfriend once quick glance, before burying your nose back into your book.

You were reading a book recommended to you by thousands of Harry’s fans on Twitter, since they’d found your twitter account dedicated to reading and reviewing books. You would join BookTok, but you and Harry both agreed that TikTok hadn’t been good for your mental health and so had deleted within 3 weeks of downloading it. Harry’s fans were now a huge part of your twitter following and you trusted them with the book recommendations, seeing as you hadn’t read one you’d hated yet.

The current one you were reading was a childhood-best friends, to enemies, to lovers and you were so happy about that because it was in your top-5-favourite-book-tropes. Yes, you had a list - it’s actually more weird if you don’t. You’d been telling Harry all about this book ever since you’d started it and he was just as invested in it as you were, and he wasn’t even reading it properly.

“No way!” Harry exclaimed, putting down the strawberries and rushing to sit on the bed next to you. He leant his head against your shoulder and you rested your head on top of his, before you began explaining what had just happened.

“Right, so Noah just saw one of his best mates talk shit about Lily in front of her and he even shoved her—”

“Dickhead.” Harry inputted.

“—and so obviously Noah went over to do something about it, but ended up getting punched in the face by this supposed ‘best mate’ and got a bloody nose. Lily then goes to the bathroom to calm down, not expecting to lock herself in the same bathroom as Noah who’s already trying to clean the blood. She explains how Noah is cleaning it wrong and offers to help him and now they’re stood really close to one another and he keeps saying nice things and ugh they just have to kiss.”

“No, they need the tension to build up first in order for their first kiss to be proper worth it.” He explained, shaking his head in disagreement with your argument.

“Their first kiss will be worth it regardless. They’ve waited long enough for it.” You sighed, putting your finger in the book as a bookmark and just talking to Harry instead for a bit.

“Do you think we waited long enough?” Harry asked, sitting up and crawling across you so he was sat in between your star-fished out legs. You looked at him for the first time, properly, since he’d walked in the room and you smiled at just how beautiful he was. You couldn’t fault him at all, he was just every perfect ever.

“You kissed me after our third date, honey, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.” You replied honestly, that first kiss still igniting fireworks inside your body.

Harry reached his hands forwards and you took his hands in yours. He smiled when your skin touched, the warm feeling so comforting and familiar. You linked your fingers with his and he pulled your arms so you were forced to fall over towards him. Your legs sat around his and you situated yourself in his lap, smiling when his hands snaked around your waist and under your t-shirt to touch your bare skin. You hummed at the touch of his skin to yours and laughed when he pinched your sides into a tickle.

“So you wouldn’t have wanted me to be more like Noah?” Harry asked, clearly insecure that he’d not given you the life of romance that you desired.

“Then you would’ve had to be my enemy?” You rhetorically questioned, moving your hands to the back of his neck to play with the soft curls there. Although Harry had cut his hair short, it was still fluffy enough to roll curls into it with your finger. You enjoyed playing with his hair to calm him down, but also to calm you down too.

“I can be you—”

“Honey,” you interrupted him before he could say anything he may not mean or later regret, “I love reading about romance and the different ways two characters can fall in love, but nothing is better than the romance story we made. I wanted nothing but you and I got that - I got you. Every detail was perfect and you, you were perfect. I love reading about stories like Noah’s and Lily’s, but it’ll never compare to ours. Our story is worth a million romance novels combined.”

“A million? Wow.” Harry spoke to himself, but you heard him enough to laugh at the fact that was the bit of information he picked up on.

“Just love you so much.” You spoke quietly, but Harry turned to see you as you whispered out the words. He smiled when he saw you slightly blush, moving one of his hands up to cup your cheek and brush it softly.

“Times a million?” Harry teased, leaning in closer to you.

“No. Times a billion.” You smiled, before pressing your lips onto his and revelling in the sweet taste of his perfect lips. He was as sweet as sugar, but his kissing was as wild as the jungle. He loved putting all of his passion into your kisses, making sure he pressed his love completely into you. His lips melted with yours and you moved in-sync magically. You moaned when he bit your lip softly and he sighed when you caved in and pulled away.

“Hey!” He whined, leaning in to give you a quick peck, “I was enjoying that.” You laughed at him, leaning in to give him a little kiss to his button nose, before shifting yourself to the top of the bed again and picking up your book.

“Well let’s see if Noah and Lily can do better.”

“Really? You’re choosing the book over me?” Harry asked rhetorically, because yes that’s exactly what you were doing.

“You’re seriously asking me that?” You laughed, opening the page exactly where you’d left it and ready to divulge back into the chaos and heartbreak of your new favourite book.

“You owe me so many kisses for this.” Harry shifted himself up the bed and curled up so his head was resting in your lap, his body tucked into a foetus position and your hand running through his soft locks.

“As many as you want, my love.” You leaned down to kiss the side of his cheek and then began reading again, this time out loud so you and Harry could enjoy the novel together.

[ilkkawhat]

Any tips for first time writers? Specifically any tips and tricks for writing CSI stories and the Nick/Greg ship? Trying to stay in character and make the story interesting like a show episode instead of a boring text procedural is hard.

lmao as someone who is forever insecure about my own writing when it comes to keeping the characters in character, I think something to keep in mind is that you may view a character differently than someone else--and sometimes those views align with others, and most of the time it's better than what's presented in canon, and it can be really difficult to get confident about that, but I think that creating anything, even if it's not just writing--drawing, giffing, photo edits, etc, you do know and love that character enough to bring them to life under your hands and it's something that's just so like, poetic about keeping these characters alive, even if the show offed them or the show is cancelled, in these works (honestly the song "poet" by bastille says this best imo) and you may end up discovering parts of yourself as you explore these characters in depth, you'll learn more about them, too, and the more you write, the more confidence you will gain

but be weary of the validation trap (says someone who falls into it literally every time I post a fic)--do not rely on comments and feedback to let you know you're doing it "right." the fact that you're getting thoughts into words onto paper is good enough, and you are good enough and even if you don't end up sharing it, you still did something special that nobody else has done before, and that, is amazing!

I'm not gonna lie, a huge weakness of mine that I feel I've known ever since I started writing CSI fic is that I really don't do well in making cases for the CSIs to work on--and even when I do, the case is usually forgotten by the end of the fic and I end up just kinda focusing on the emotions between the characters and describing their feelings and actions the best I can and unfortunately the plot sometimes suffers because of that.

I guess it really depends on what you want out of your story--do you want a really intriguing case and basically make an episode of CSI, or do you want to kind of bend out of the procedural drama, and just write something fluffy like Nick/Greg going on a roadtrip or something actiony like them getting into some sort of trouble? (as I often do lmao)

Something that does always help me when I do decide I want an actual like, "plot" to the fic beyond just playing around with the characters and making them do things or experience things is that I'll make myself a very flexible outline--which I will admit, at times, does kinda drain the fun out of the actual writing part but I found that I'll try to write chapters/fics in segments in this way, like I'll have the start of a fic, and then when I feel like I need to break but want to write what I got going next, I'll have something in brackets like: [Self deprecation at home/drinking, evil Nick in the mirror?] (for agony), and sometimes maybe a bigger summary, and sometimes less to just kinda remind myself of what I wanted to accomplish with a fic

BUT know that there are gonna be things that pop up sometimes. twists that come to you halfway through a fic--or if you're lucky, you'll find that your reader friends will kinda give you a twist to add in (my fic Last Breath is the greatest example of this--I originally was gonna do like, 12 chapters but then @dannilea said "HEY MK GIVE NICK AMNESIA" and then the fic got doubled in length lmao) so don't feel confined to any sort of outline. go with the flow, go with what feels right for you.

I know it's a lesson I'm still learning myself, but do not pressure yourself with these sorts of things. there are no deadlines. you're not doing anything wrong. if you don't like something you wrote? don't delete it (i've deleted so many things--fics, my entire blog, old art and gifs I did and it's one of my biggest regrets that I carry with me and god...it just hurts) but don't be afraid to tweak, re-write or rework if you need to--I know ao3 has an option where you can even say something is a "remix" of another work if you write a fic and then somewhere down the line, decide to expand on it or change it up? (I think it's meant for that at least, I haven't done that sort of thing....yet)

and that's another thing--you'll always be learning new things as you keep writing. I've been writing since I was like, twelve years old. Had a long ass depressive gap (though I did still write some things, just not...as intensely as I used to) before I came back to the CSI fandom (which I never felt I contributed to before, when I joined tumblr I posted some caps but that was about it, it really wasn't until 2018 that I started giffing and writing and three years later lmao here we are!) and there are just hard lessons you do learn--like I said, the validation trap and pressure and all of that

but motivation wise, something I've been (trying) to do is write at least 100 words per day. Doesn't have to be a specific fic, doesn't have to be anything I intend to make a fic, but just...getting the words flowing. But again, no pressure, because I recently had another depressive bout and went 33 days without writing and it climaxed to me having another mental breakdown swearing I was never gonna write again and damn near deleting everything and giving up.........only to start writing again the next day (and full disclosure, I did have a friend helping me literally every day with that and if they read this, I hope they know how forever grateful I am that they convinced me to keep going and I would not actually be here without them)

You will need to recharge, you will need to be mindful of outside stresses that may be impacting your creative energies. And sometimes, you can try doing things not relating to writing at all. Make a playlist of songs that make you think about the fic; if you can, draw or make photo edits of the fic. find a friend to bounce ideas off of--so many of my fics were enriched by that, I can't even begin to list them all lol.

But above all, again, just know that what you're writing is unique to you, nobody else will be able to write the way you do, and that is just...so special. writing can be difficult, it's exhausting, it's a thankless job at times but when those words start clicking together and your fingers just keep typing/writing, you'll just kinda get this like, rush like nothing I've ever been able to match.

and lmao I know you said specifically CSI and Nick/Greg and feel like I got sidetracked--but the great thing about CSI is I feel like you'll have excuses to put them in situations given their line of work, but like I said before, you can bend out of the genre a little bit. Have Nick and Greg go on a vacation, or make an AU (even something as wild as a sci-fi AU--honestly Specimen Stokes is the most fun I've had in writing the past three years) or if you do want to stick to canon, and don't want to make a whole new case or elaborate on the details--play with an established episode. If there was a Nick focused episode, what was Greg doing and vice versa? Did they talk about things afterwards, or did something happen leading up to the episode that made them act a certain way around each other?

I'll honestly find inspiration also just watching the episodes--something I've been doing in these past few months of my rewatch is making little ficlets about the episode, like I wrote one about Nick and Greg post 6x02 elaborating on the breathplay that Greg hinted about earlier in the episode, or I made a revenge fic for 14x12 where that douchey abusive husband went after Nick, etc. So sometimes it helps to dive back into canon and play in that sandbox too

I hope these tips can help get you started and honestly, don't feel obligated to agree or do any of these things I listed above. We all have different ways of going about writing, and it is just one big learning process and something I don't think I'm ever gonna perfect or master in any sort of way--(not to say I think I'm the worst writer in the world but I just...try to humble myself and not believe I'm the best or better than anybody else cause that's part of the validation trap, you get those ideas in your head and then it can destroy you when you realize you're definitely not)--and there will be times you get heavily discouraged, but...you just gotta keep going. keep pushing. find outside encouragement, but don't rely on it. practice a lot of self care and don't pressure yourself to finish or share or write more than you think you can. just...let it come, and enjoy the ride

I honestly feel like I'm one of the least qualified to say all of these things, but I really do hope it helps and hey, you already got one cheerleader, me, who will be excited to read whatever you share!

[apathycarestostudy]

Any studying, motivation and procrastination tips please? Desperately in need of some before a new academic year starts.

Hello hello! Yes! I’m sorry I took a bit to get back to you with these - I just wanted to give you the best I got. So here ya go, I mixed up everything you asked for in a couple of strong tips. I’ve divided into preparing for the new semester, study tips, and then procrastination tips with a sprinkle of motivation all over it.

Prep:

Sooo the academic year is right around the corner (or dreadfully yet, already here), and you need to shift to get with the times. Fixing your sleep schedule? Getting your syllabus ready? That’s all important and good, but how do you keep the determination strong as the first few weeks go by? How to prepare better?

make a lessons learned note

I learnt this from my internship. It’s a good practice that after a project, you take some time to review what happened during the project and create a final report, concluding it with a couple bullet points of the lessons you learnt from it. If you need a feel of what that looks like, here’s my lessons learned from last semester:

Using OneNote is a waste of time

If you don’t keep up in the beginning, you’re going to show up for attendance and give the bare minimum to move on

You need to learn how to speak up during class - you know the answer, what’re you so nervous about?

Don’t fear marking up your books - it’s yours??? You paid for it??? Using highlighters are useful if used appropriately

Be careful about helping people - you’ve been caught four times helping friends while they kept stuff from you and got ahead

Y’all I had to stop myself lol. I planned to write my top three, but then kept clicking enter again and again. Well. Now you know my concerns. 

Getting back on track though, you should take some time to write down the stuff you learned from last semester’s experience to know what you’re going to take with you, and what you’ll quit doing. It’s a strong, positive start, and it prevents you from making the same mistakes again.

delete/move stuff off your phone + organize your laptop’s folders

It’s better to keep our phones clear and ready for the new semester’s mess, right? I have a bunch of screenshots, and files, and notes on my phone that I don’t need to keep anymore, but I’m a bit of a hoarder :))) I like to keep stuff in case I wanna look back, be that girl people just know has something they’d need, or hell if I need to retake a class (it’s happened unfortunately). Maybe you got a junior you want to pass your stuff along to. So what do you do? Move it to your laptop of course!

Well, that’s what I do. If you don’t have a laptop, you can upload it somewhere (google drive etc.), attach them on emails, anything that works for you! There’s always somewhere you can put your stuff that’s private and safe.

That goes into my next point - be sure to take the time to reorganize your spaces now. Since I put it on my laptop, I organize my folders to my liking, make sure everything is where it should be with older ones, and create new ones for the coming semester. Just pop on some music, sit down and get cracking. It gives me a pleasant feeling after I look at everything when I’m done.

set up your calendar/planner!

This is a recurring tip that I think is good enough to reiterate. Whatever method you use to keep track of stuff needs to be updated, upgraded, and ready to go! If you’ve used something that failed mid-way through last semester, or you didn’t like but had to keep with it because you were in too deep, put that in your lessons learned record. Here’s your chance to change to a better system. It’s fine if you already started your new term - it’s still early enough to switch/set up a new one!

Make sure you don’t overdo it though. The point of this is to keep track of, say, assignments and quiz dates, not spend an unnecessary amount of time organizing and stuff and falling into the pit of preparing to study. If it works for you and has been working for you - keep going! But if it’s taking time and having any negative correlation to your performance, it’s better to do away with it than to keep going and have it be another lesson learnt next semester. I’ll be the first to say that I tried setting up a bujo for myself - bought markers and washi tape and all - and I gave up after three days of using it. And I set up an entire month and then some. It hurt my soul to admit that it was a waste of time for me, and not keep beating at it, but I did, and now it’s sitting here mocking me everyday. But I have time to watch it mock me ;) 

My go-to organizational system: Microsoft To-do (not sponsored :((), phone’s calendar, phone’s notepad. That’s it.

create a night routine

People usually say fixing your sleep schedule and having a night/morning routine is good, but in my opinion, a night routine is stronger than both. For some reason, for the life of me, I can’t get my sleep schedule right unless some force stops me from staying awake. I tried getting in bed early and throwing my phone across the room - but I’d lay there for hours thinking about the next day so I don’t bother anymore. The morning routine just ruins my mood because I’d either fail miserably and feel worse, or feel overwhelmed. It’s better if both happen either circumstantially or organically for me. 

Night routines set an easy-going mood, and it’s full of potential because it also sets the scene for the next day. By night routine, I don’t mean what you do before you sleep, I mean the consecutive things you do every night. For example, I play a round of games with my siblings (card games and board games), then shower, do my skin care routine (wash-toner-moisturizer that’s it lol), watch a video as I’m combing my hair (and then watch a couple more), feed my turtle, and then see what I want to do. Sometimes I sleep right after, other times I’m on my phone or reading a book. But just this set of recurring events calms me down when my life is chaotic, and it’s easier and more doable than morning routines for me.

Action:

Now we’ve set the scene, so it’s action time (I’m so lame). 

don’t let work pass you by

In regards to studying, this is the - BIGGEST - tip I can ever give you. The ironic thing is, it’s still going to happen no matter how much you try, and that can damper your mood and your drive, but here’s my tip: MILK IT FOR ALL IT’S WORTH!! 

If you know it’s going to happen eventually, don’t let it affect you - focus all your efforts not in doing it everyday, but maintaining it for as long as you possibly can. Don’t let your studies pass you for even a second. Work it like you work a job as long as you can, and you’ll end up surprising yourself on how much you had completed when you gotta review for quizzes and exams. 

You know how they say exercise and earn your shower everyday? How about study and earn your play time everyday :)))

if it does, work backwards

So we’re here. You’re behind by two weeks. Like I mentioned up there, we knew we were going to end up here eventually (and if you didn’t, share your ways lol. no matter how much I cred myself with studying and getting shit done, I still don’t know what’s going on), so now what do we do? Work backwards. The prof/teach is at point S and you’re still curling the bottom of J? Start from S and go to R, then Q, then P....while maintaining the new stuff you’re learning after S. Pinch it in. We should aim to follow the class as much as we can so it’s more effective to study backwards and keep going with it. It’ll also help killing the thing that’s refusing to let you go faster with the beginning stuff, and you’ll be reviewing what you learnt in real time along with the class. 

Don’t know why I said the previous tip was the best I had to offer when we both know that this one is the real G.

pathetic notes are still notes

This one is a weird one - I had an issue with notes for a beat. I have this belief that you should always make notes every class, no matter how much new stuff you learn, but then there’ll be days where I write three lines and it just hurts my soul for some reason. I guess it’s the incomplete page? The three lines I’ll add tomorrow and face this again? Not sure. But whatever it is, do not stop writing notes! If you learn something new that’s not written anywhere, or hell you just wanna jot it down somewhere more accessible, always write it down, no matter how pathetic your notebook’ll look. I had to get over that, so I thought it would be good to mention. Always. Take. Notes. Nothing is too much information on the race to securing your livelihood.

If you can’t get over it, maybe try printing the slides and making your notes on the borders. I started doing this for more technical courses that don’t get a lot of notes, and it works really well having it in one place.

(I should pin a picture, idk, I’m really proud of it.)

starting strong is good, consistency is even better

In the end, that person who walks in stronger than last semester are plenty, but the one who wins in the end is always that one person - what makes them different? They don’t watch the ones who’re running strong in the beginning and mess up their pace by either trying to keep up with them, do more, or discourage them. They maintain a consistent effort and benefit in the end. It’s the story of the hare and the turtle - consistent, slow effort beats rushing and getting out of fuel in the last stretch. 

There was this one semester where it seemed like half my class decided that they were all going to be on all of a sudden, and it threw me off, made me insecure, and then I started comparing myself to them. The only thing that saved me was that I kept my consistent effort in the meantime because I had consequences if I didn’t perform - so at the end of it, it didn’t matter how hard they started. Only two out of the thirteen elevated their rank. And I was where I needed to be, so that feeling was wasted.

Well, not completely wasted now since I’m telling you. Focus on yourself. Stay consistent. It’s good to be aware of where everyone is, and use it to motivate you, but no negative feelings that’ll hold you back. Release it.

(also pro-tip: teachers don’t care about the loud ones, they care about the consistent ones)

Procrastination:

Now we got the ball rolling - how to avoid this monster? Also, if you still haven’t gotten the ball a-tumbling,

what do you fear?

Oftentimes it’s the fear of something that hinders us from starting. My common fears that keeps me procrastinating are fear of failure, fear of taking too long and wasting time, fear of finding out how little I know of the thing I haven’t learnt yet - I could keep going forever. It’s easier ignoring it and treating it like it’s not there than to face it, I know. But we wanna be better, so how can we?

Write down what you feel, get it out, and then study. A lesson I learnt from last semester was that journalling before I studied helped immensely. Just try it for a session - get out what you’re thinking about, and end it with an action item (I’m going to do xyz now) and then do it. It’s like a weight being lifted off of you. I’ve never felt so light studying in my life, I feel. 

do, don’t tell yourself you will, do

shameful self plug: read this to see what I mean (specifically the you don’t need a lot to get started ramble) 

don’t take on more than you can chew

Something that can kill your grind is if you overwhelm yourself by tying yourself down to things you know you won’t be able to handle later on. It kinda plays off the doing too much in the beginning - you’re setting yourself for failure if you don’t think through your decisions, and then fall into procrastination with the things that’d breed the most consequence. So be careful.

I’m not saying don’t apply yourself - it’s really good to get as much experiences (fun and useful) as you can. But don’t let it be at the expense of what matters. Your health, your faith, your studies - all these things matter more than....insert something here....yeah.

start everyday intentional, end every night with intentions

I’ll end it with this. Start your day intentional on getting stuff done, and you can cleanly avoid procrastinating. End it with good intentions for the next one, and you’ll keep this habit going. Whatever that is, finding your happy place, making a to-do list, praying, journalling, talking to someone - always try to wake up with the mindset that this’ll be your day, and end it with a pat on your back and a promise to do better - if you managed or not. Everyday is a new chance. Every midday is a chance. Now is your chance. It’s just a matter of being hungry and taking it.

Ooof I took water breaks writing this, and it still felt like I had more to say. Sorry for the length lol - I hope this helped in any way. And good luck! New semester, same you, new mindset, better results ;))  (I’m so lame lol).

By the way y’all, if you happen to be loud and consistent, share those tips also lol. 

Here’s to our collective success!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi could you rec some gen fics

Hi Nonny!! 

I’ve a tonne of G and T rated fics, and I’m using this opportunity to clear another list off my Check-List, T-Rated Part 3! It’s a nice long list, so hope you enjoy! 

As per usual, friends, the third reblog will be the mobile post (I do that to generate the “full post”, and then “read more” the original post), so I am sorry :P

T-RATED FICS Pt. 3

See also:

T-RATED Pt. 1: Friends To Lovers Fics || [MOBILE LINK]

T-Rated Fics Pt. 2 (October 2018) (LONG POST) || MOBILE POST

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug 2019)

And When The Night Is Over by Simply Isnt On (K, 329 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Platonic Bed Sharing / Not Slash) – Sherlock and John sleep together.

When Morning Comes by Youarethelightoftheworld (T, 423 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lazy Mornings/Morning After, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Cuddling / Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) – “Sherlock,” says John solemnly, “I’m not sure we can go anywhere today.”

Dinner With John by Zang Bluetterfly (T, 505 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance) – “Let’s have dinner, John.” Sherlock secretly smiled. Irene had been right: he had rejected her dinner’s invitation because he already had John by his side, even though the doctor was still clueless about Sherlock’s true feelings for him.

The Moment When by drekadair (K, 509 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Friendship, First Person POV Sherlock, Introspection, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock sees John in the pool, and doubts. Set during the end of “The Great Game.”

A Perfect Figure by ecb327 (K, 622 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, First Person POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Light Angst) – Sherlock build a spot in his mind palace for John.

Do You Love Me? by whitchry9 (K, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Epic Bromance) – John asks Sherlock perhaps the most important question.

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

Five Seconds by xXLadyLovelaceXx (K+, 658 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Introspection, TGG Pool Scene) – In the half-second before Sherlock shoots the jacket, John notices something.

I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J’s Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Promises Kept by grannysknitting (K+, 844 w., 1 Ch. || John POV, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Sherlock’s Violin, Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Post-TGG) – When they were in hospital, Sherlock made a promise to himself. Now he’s keeping it. Set after ’Polygamous Marriage’ but before ’Back in the Saddle’

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w., 1 Ch. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital… again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock’s mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this…

Burn Burn by Jenn1984 (K+, 925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Angst, Worried / Panicked / Possessive Sherlock) – A week after the events of “The Great Game”, Sherlock returns to 221B Baker Street to find it empty.

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

My Unfortunately Average Sized Cranium by Haelia (K+, 996 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Headache, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Drug Use, Doctor John) – In which Sherlock has a migraine. ALMOST Johnlock. Not quite.

Do You Renounce Evil? by BenAddiction (K, 1,037 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Friendship, No Slash) – John and Mary have a question for Sherlock.

Five Times John Watson Remained Oblivious by thriceandonce (K+, 1,154 w., 1 Ch. || Five and Ones, Romance, Friendship, Asexual Sherlock, Queerplatonic Relationship) – …And one time he didn’t.

Common Knowledge by The Assassin’s Pen (K, 1,223 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Hurt/Comfort, Sort-Of Parentlock, Angry John) – John can’t sleep because his infant daughter can’t sleep. Sherlock can’t think because of all the crying. And Mary can’t seem to calm the infant either. Sherlock’s robotic response to the problem reveals something very human at his core. Fluffy one shot!

Sherlock Is Not The One You Should Worry About by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,077 w., 1 Ch. || Sally POV, Character Reflection, Praising John) – Sally Donovan’s eyes are opened about a certain Doctor John Watson.

Peacock by ClassyGirlsWearPearls (T, 1,189 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Cranky Sherlock, Soft John, Hand Holding, Soft Sherlock) – A study in Sherlock and John.

Our Bodies Bend Light by lovetincture (G, 1,211 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Beekeeping, Retirement) – They got married. Of course they got married. Snapshots in a relationship. There’s a jar of bees in the bookstore and a cottage in Sussex. Sherlock’s not the marrying kind, and John’s tried this once before, but they’re Sherlock and John. Of course.

Sleep Tonight by Jenn1984 (T, 1,220 w, 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Bed Sharing, Worried Sherlock, Sick John, Hugs/Cuddles, Touch Neediness) – Fingers begin prying open his jacket looking for a wound and John would really like to swat at them. No, he’s not hit anywhere, he’s just damn sick.- John Watson has a fever.

Common Knowledge by The Assassin’s Pen (K, 1,223 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Hurt/Comfort, Sort-Of Parentlock, Angry John) – John can’t sleep because his infant daughter can’t sleep. Sherlock can’t think because of all the crying. And Mary can’t seem to calm the infant either. Sherlock’s robotic response to the problem reveals something very human at his core. Fluffy one shot!

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Alternate TGG / Explosion, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

Mizzle by MrsNoggin (K, 1,233 w., 1 Ch || Friendship, Fluff, Platonic Johnlock, Humour, Slice of Life) – John can’t decide if it’s raining or not. Sherlock doesn’t understand.

First Thing in the Morning by englishtutor (T, 1,273 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Banter, Humour) – In which John and Mary return from their honeymoon and are immediately plunged back into real life. Can they cope?

And, Usually, He’s the One Who GIVES Me a Headache by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,315 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, POV John, Cranky John, Headaches, Head Massage) – A migraine is never fun.

A Better Fate Than Wisdom by flawedamythyst (G, 1,339 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, John’s Sexuality Crisis, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending, Fluff) – Nearly four hours pass between their first kiss and their second.

Five Times John Didn’t Notice Sherlock (and one time he did) by somanyhands (T, 1,369 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Five and Ones, 221B Format Oneshots) – Five times out oblivious John Watson didn’t notice Sherlock, and one time he really did. A short series of (five plus one) 221B fics, just because.

God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, 1,398 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Mystery, Friendship) – Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.

I Was Wrong by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,496 w., 1 Ch. || TGG AU, Friendship, Hospitalization / Injury, John’s Self Esteem, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sherlock and John have a conversation a few days after the pool face off with Moriarty. And John hears something quite surprising.

Angel by MrsNoggin (T, 1,513 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock, Friendship, Chromoesthesia, Drugging) – John is an angel. That can be the only explanation. A response to the challenging request for a realistic wingfic one-shot.

You Should Have Let Me Sleep! by theraggedypond (T, 1,542 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Sleepy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Domestics) – After a three day case with no sleep and hardly any food, Sherlock is recovering from it by playing comatose. John finds out what happens when you wake up London’s favorite consulting detective.

Here to Stay by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 1,574 w., 1 Ch. || Post Reunion, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Headache, Bed Sharing, Care Taker Sherlock, Hand Holding, Fluff) – On Sherlock’s first day home, John wakes with a migraine.

Happy Birthday John by Starlight05 (K, 1,580 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, John’s Birthday, Shopping, 3rd Person POV John) – When an important date comes up, Sherlock finds himself doing something he never has before - shopping! But will he succeed and manage to get his best friend a present?

Together is What we Have, Together Protects Us by Phantom of the Black Pearl (K+, 1,566 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Platonic or Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock, Slice of Life) – After a case one evening in the flat Sherlock voices a concern that causes the pair to consider why they’ve chosen to stick together after all that’s happened.

3:00 in the Morning is a Great Time to Talk by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,775 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Bed Sharing, First Person POV John, Cuddling, Worried Sherlock, Comforting John, Platonic Affection/Love) – “Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?” “Obviously.”

Santa Knows by Itsallfine (T, 1,719 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Party, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Matchmaking, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock and John both get exactly what they want from the Yard’s secret Santa exchange. Pure holiday fluff.

Upon This Throne by ifonlynotnever (T, 1,773 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Angst, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Introspection, Imagery, Pining Sherlock, Drug Use, Passage of Time) – Inside Sherlock’s mind is a Palace. Inside the Palace are many rooms. Within the largest room is the Throne. Upon the Throne sits the King.

Love and Bombs by Spark Writer (T, 1,780 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, Romance, Angst, Pining Sherlock, 1st Person POV Sherlock, Introspection, Ambiguous Ending) – Love and bombs aren’t all that different, John. In the end, they’re almost indistinguishable.

Quite Contrary by Hollyesque (T, 1,805 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Sherlock Whump / After Mary Shot Sherlock, Hallucinations / Flashbacks / PTSD, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Lestrade POV, ) – A short one-shot, alternate scene to Greg’s hospital visit in HLV. Instead of Sherlock disappearing, Greg is faced with an unexpected reaction to a hospitalized Sherlock and winds up figuring out something that he really would have rather not known.

The Stranger by LaKoda0518 (T, 1,844 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Fluff, First Kiss, For a Case, Mysterious Madman, Lonely John) – John Watson is standing on the platform waiting to board a train to his sister’s after being invalided home from Afghanistan. A chance meeting with a mysterious madman turns his world upside down and changes his life forever.

One in Ten Thousand by Blind Author (K+, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Discussions of Violence, Worried then Curious Sherlock, Scars/John’s Bullet Wound, Medical Anomolies) – John seems to have unusual mobility for a shoulder wound…

The Three-Word Tin Collection by TheBookshelfDweller (K, 1,885 w., 1 Ch. || First Person Sherlock POV, Mild Pining, Angst, Romance, Hiatus) – What happens when Sherlock has to store the things he wants to say to John while deconstructing Moriarty’s web, but the Mind palace proves an inadequate place to store them?

Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil by PipMer (T, 1,895 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf John, Mute Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Character Study, Morse Code, Love Confessions) – John is deaf. Sherlock is mute. There are no two people more suited for each other.

The Adventure of the Mysterious Appearance of Tissues by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 1,910 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Sick John, Caring Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort) – In which there is a case, John has caught a cold and is not interested in investigating, Mrs Hudson is away and Sherlock does the shopping.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 (T, 1,921 w., 1 Ch. || THoB, Friendship, Humor, Bed Sharing, Missing Scenes, Cranky John, Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. Gen, but can be preslash.

They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Fascination by xLaramiex (K, 1,959 w., 2 Ch. || Friendship, Cranky Sherlock) – Ch1: John returns home to find Sherlock sleeping on the sofa. At least, he thinks he does. Ch2: Once again, John is forced to abandon his food to trail after Sherlock. He doesn’t even know why.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

The Imminent Danger of a Tumblr-Night by Loveismyrevolution (T, 2,135 w., 1 Ch. || Tumblr Fics, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock is Out of His Depth, Humour, Fluff, Pining Sherlock, Military Kink, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock gets into trouble when he pretends to know all about John’s favourite social media site - tumblr. To save face he seeks help from one of the bloggers and gains more answers than he had aimed for.

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Study in John by chappysmom (K+, 2,158 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiP, POV John, Introspection, Friendship, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, John’s Limp) – After the events of “A Study in Pink,” John lies on the couch in Baker Street and thinks about the whirlwind events of the day. What is he getting himself into?

A Room of One’s Own by whitchry9 (K+, 2,174 w., 5 Ch. || S2 Timeline, Hurt/Comfort, Supernatural, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Coma, John Whump, Worried Sherlock, POV John, Angst, Friendship/Bromance, Hospital) – When a severe head injury lands John in a coma, somehow he ends up in Sherlock’s mind palace. It’s actually pretty nice there, and John is entertaining the notion of staying there, rather than returning to his broken body. But Sherlock isn’t taking it as well, and John can feel him breaking around him.

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he’s been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone’s physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn’t think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn’t hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Work On Your Balance by speculate (K+, 2,448 w., 1 Ch. || Embarrassed Sherlock, For A Case, Skating, Fluff, Friendship, Humour) – In which John is actually pretty good at ice skating, Sherlock’s not and insists it’s all for a case , and Lestrade is pretty amused by it all.

The Many Faces of Concern by sdrawkcabemdaer5 (K+, 2,473 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Angsty Fluff, John Whump, Mildly Clueless Sherlock) – John is injured on a case, leading to some surprising reactions and discoveries about their friendship.

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John’s bedroom is now a research library. It’s not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They’re friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it’s not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It’ll be fine.

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It’s because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Those Days by StillWaters1 (T, 2,663 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD / Sensory Attacks, Caring Sherlock) – If Sherlock had danger nights, then these were John’s danger days.

Domino by Deception’s Call (K, 2,689 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Scared / Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Crying Sherlock, Hospital, Implied Caretaker Sherlock) – When John is injured on a case and is admitted to the hospital, those at Scotland Yard come to realize that perhaps Sherlock Holmes has a heart after all.

Not My Proudest Moment by charlock221 (K, 2,695 w., 1 Ch. || Lunar New Year, Mild PTSD / Panic Attack, Coping Mechanisms, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John tries his best not to get in the way of Sherlock’s cases, but when the vivid noises of fireworks unnerve his senses and begin to bring back unwanted memories of Afghanistan, he cannot help but to hope Sherlock will notice and help him before things go too far.

BBCSH ‘The Comfort of Company’ by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It’s a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

One to Spare by englishtutor (K, 2,862 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Sherlock POV) – In which Sherlock becomes alarmed at the change Mary Morstan has made in John. With spoilers from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s book “The Sign of Four”

The Rational Machine by Solstice Zero (K, 2,924 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Malnourishment / Fainting, Doctor / Minder John) – Sherlock passes out. John muses on the reasons why. Containing an absorbing case, two bags of shopping, and a few apples.

Your Pain in my Hands by aceofhearts61 (T, 2,984 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock / Straight Homoromantic John, Established Relationship, Asexual Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling and Snuggling, Massage, Fluff, Bedsharing) – Sherlock and John comfort each other through physical pain, using massage. Part 13 of A Love with No Name

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock’s kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Better Late Than Never by sussexbound (NR (T), 3,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4 / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock POV, Love Confessions, Drunk Sherlock / Sober John, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil) – He suddenly wants John Watson out of his bedroom, out of his flat, out of his life, because he has been lying to himself these last few months, he realises. He doesn’t want John here, not with the way things are. He doesn’t want 221b Baker Street to be nothing more than rest stop John returns to on his journeys between women. He doesn’t want to play co-parent if Rosie is going to be snatched away from him and placed in the arms of whatever nameless woman du jour John lands on next. He doesn’t want to keep being so careful, so generous, so, so…

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it’s time to act.

Reversed by whitchry9 (K+, 3,072 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Medical Anomolies, John Gets Shot) – The man pointed his gun at John’s chest, right at his heart, and shot.’ Wherein John is shot, and Sherlock is the one panicking.

It’s Just Another Birthday by Vintage Tea Party (K, 3,207 w., 2 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sherlock’s Birthday, Sherlock 3rd Person POV) – When John makes a birthday cake for Sherlock he thinks it’s an innocent enough gesture. But nothing is ever normal with Sherlock and this isn’t just another birthday.

As You Wish by PipMer (K, 3,311 w., 1 Ch. || Bromance/Pre-Slash/Epic Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Hospitals) – When John woke from his coma, he wasn’t at all surprised to see the wrong Holmes brother sitting at his bedside. Disappointed, but not surprised.

The Dangers of Dating by verityburns (T, 3,325 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Case Fic, No Slash, John Whump, 3G, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock and John acquire a new client… with a very unusual problem.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Study in Sherlock by chappysmom (K+, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || ASiP, Friendship, Introspection, Anxious Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock) – Sherlock’s thoughts and feelings during A Study in Pink. What DID he think of John, and why was he being so NICE?

Breakfast, acronyms and brotherhood by Rose de Sharon (K+, 4,074 w., 1 Ch. || TBB Fic, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Fluff) – Set after The Blind Banker: my take of Sherlock and John’s conversation over breakfast. S/J friendship, bromance, no slash.

Human Body Pillow by Lunavere (K, 4,122 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Sleepy Johnlock, Bed Sharing) – A story about the five times John fell asleep on Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock fell asleep on him.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me’, specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical’. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Between Asleep and Awake by katydidit (K, 4,309 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sick Fic, Post-TRF / Reunion) – John is sick. Incredibly, extremely, dangerously sick. Plagued by a high fever, he begins to hallucinate, start seeing things that aren’t really there. Because they can’t be there. Can they?

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w., 1 Ch. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn’t seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. How will Sherlock react?

Mary by englishtutor (K, 4,358 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, No Slash) – In which Mary Morstan attempts to endear herself to Sherlock Holmes.

What You Are Worth by Lastew (T, 4,488 w., 1 Ch. || Observant But Insecure John, Friendship, Crime / Case Fic) – John helps Sherlock with a case, but he questions his real value to Sherlock.  

Let Down by Gandalf3213 (K+, 4,505 w., 2 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John Whump, Insecure John) – John truly is sorry for letting Sherlock down. The only thing he wanted to do was finish the case, but bleeding out in a dark alley makes it harder for him to pursue that murderer running out of sight.

The Care and Keeping of Your Mad Genius by Janieshi (T, 4,553 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Light Humour/Teasing, Alternating POV, Cranky Sherlock) – If he hadn’t been so focused on holding the bastard still, John would have laughed aloud. This maniac really thought John was the pet in this dynamic?

Storytelling by amythedork (T, 5,126 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Past, Friendship, Humour) – Five times John Watson opens up to Sherlock Holmes, and one time Sherlock Holmes opens up to John Watson. Gen, though could easily be read as pre-slash.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Sleepless nights by El loopy (T, 5,467 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares/Insomnia, Panic Attack, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock has a nightmare and John wants to know what it was about. Set during season 1. Three-shot.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

When We Sleep by PrincessNala (K+, 6,660 w., 1 Ch || Post-TGG,  Alternating POV, Bed Sharing, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort, Hugs) – Sherlock needed to feel every beat of his heart, every rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It was the only way to completely assure himself that John was alive and right there next to him, and not dead, no, never dead…

Hide and Seek by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 6,934 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Rev. Reich-ish, Mycroft is a Dick, Depression, Case Fic-ish, Friendship, Reunion) – Pseudo sequel to “The Refining Fire.” “You owe him the truth, and you owe me the proof that will convince him that I had no part in this.”

Lost for Words by notactivesherlockaccount (T, 6,709 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Temporary Mute John) – While on a case, John temporarily loses his ability to speak, and he and Sherlock have to find a new way to communicate.

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – 'I should warn you,’ Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.’ And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

On Favors and Keeping Score by Ewebie (G, 7,622 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, Fluff, John Whump) – John woke up to the horribly unpleasant sound of his clock alarm. Which meant he’d slept through his phone’s alarm. And for a moment he glared blearily at the noisemaker before smacking at it with his palm. Ugh, he felt like rubbish. The back of his throat was burning with the irritation that heralded a proper dose, his nose was threatening to drip every few seconds, and he had the uncomfortable flush that normally suggested a fever. Nothing high, just uncomfortable. Nothing deadly, just irritating. Nothing worth calling in sick with, just a full day of discomfort in the face of other people’s discomfort. It was going to be a day where he was forced to bite his tongue from telling people off. “You’re not as sick as I am, so off you pop.” Part 7 of Tumblr Shorts

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn’t play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w., 5 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

A Friend Indeed by Sanru (K+, 8,190 w., 1 Ch. || Missing John, Friendship, Drama, Introspection, Possessive Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – Something has gone terribly wrong with a supposedly simple case. John Watson is missing. While the search for him is proving to be fruitless, it has made Sherlock realize that having an emotional attachment to someone may have its disadvantages but he liked being able to call John his friend. Now if only he could find out what happened to him…

Until I See the Sun by Vintage Tea Party (T, 8,194 w., 3 Ch. || Nightmares, Mild Whump, Friendship, Mild Violence, Angst) – After a particularly dangerous case, John suffers from night terrors. Will Sherlock be able to comfort him? Will he be able to find out what is really troubling John?

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – … And one time it didn’t matter.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock’s study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn’t entirely mind.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch.  || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

The Dying Doctor by Transcendental Starlight (T, 11,258 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John / John Whump, ACD Rewrite) – Loosely based off ACD’s “The Dying Detective.” Sherlock relives a case that should have killed him, but instead resulted in John being hospitalized for a deadly disease. Sherlock endeavors to catch the murderer, while attempting to envision a future without John Watson. No Slash.

Sherlock’s Sleeping Habits by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 11,424 w., 16 Ch. || Friendship, Sleepy Sherlock, One Shot Collection, Fluff, Domestics) – In which John learns about Sherlock’s sleeping habits. Series of unrelated oneshots featuring the one and only ADORABLE Sleepy!Lock! Fluff abounds.

The Hand You’re Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

A Building of Bridges by Unique (K, 12,325 w., 3 Ch. || Drama, Alternate First Meeting, John’s PTSD / Flashbacks, Mute John, Dialogue-Heavy, Caring Sherlock, Friendship) – No one would ever send Sherlock in to diffuse a stand-off; but on one unlikely day, that’s exactly what happened. “Congratulations, Lestrade,” he called out sarcastically. “You’re traumatizing a war veteran.”

A Different Kind of Love by Svenja The Strange (T, 12,357 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Romance, Five and One) –  The five times people noticed and the one time John did. A collection of oneshots (some short, some longer) raising the issue of Johns endless dilemma of being deemed for Sherlock’s boyfriend.

Always the sun by Rose de Sharon (K+, 12,377 w., 3 Ch. || Song Fic, Alternate Post-TGG, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection / Reflection, Injury Recovery, Obsessive / Protective Sherlock, Nightmares, John’s Past, Bed Sharing / Cuddles) – Sherlock ponders about how much his life has changed since John has become his flatmate.

A Study in Linguistics by rizandace (T, 12,425 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant/S2 Divergence, Friendship, Slices of Life, Communication, Cranky Sherlock, Hospitals, Sherlock Whump, Pet Cat, Jealous John, Sherlock’s Violin, Anxious Sherlock, John Whump) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson had their own language. It was a language of few words and minute facial expressions, and John had learned that it was nearly the only way to have an honest conversation with his eccentric flat mate.

Red-Handed by englishtutor (K, 12,682 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John is Stabbed, Panicking / Worried Sherlock, Alternating POV’s) – In which an accident occurs which might change everyone’s life; or it might solidify already blossoming relationships. A re-working of my original story, taking place four days after “Dancing Around the Subject,” when John and Mary get engaged.

Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn’t count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.

Understanding by rizandace (T, 13,268 w., 15 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Worried Sherlock, John Whump Then Sherlock Whump) – Sherlock’s hiding something about his newest case, and John wants answers. Set post-TGG. Friendship fic, mostly, with brief entrances from Harry and Lestrade just for fun.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

[searchingforbucky]

FIC RECS (Part 6) :)

sorry if you got tagged in this again, I'm a dummy and deleted it on accident :( 

Request: Could you recommend me some biker!bucky fics? I’ve read all of @bucky-plums-barnes’ and I’m desperate for more

Alright guys, this is my favorite fic recommendation list I’ve done thus far. Lets buckle up for my absolute favorite AU. This one is LONG. But I just couldn’t stop I love this AU too much to not go on and on lol. These fics are amazing, I tried to keep it to one fic an author, but I stated if they had more! Also the descriptions may be a little smaller, because there were so many I didn’t want this to be way too long :) And shoutout to @bucky-plums-barnes for all of their amazing biker stuff too!

Swallow by @all1e23 

This fic here, is absolutely beautiful. The way Allie writes is so unique, and reading their work is always a wonderful experience. There is never an emotion that goes unfelt by the reader. This fic is a story that perfectly embodies the way love makes you act. Love isnt perfect, its heartbreak, and destruction, and pain, yet above all else its beautiful. Don’t go in expecting a fairy tail, go in expecting tangible realistic love between two broken people. Also, Allie has an amazing story called Home, that I also highly recommend.

New Girl by @omnomsauruswrites 

This was the first biker Bucky story I ever read, and I think thats why its one of my favorite AUs, because I got sun a good start with this fic. I love this story. We’ve got enemies to lovers, biker bucky, and a killer plot twist that I did NOT see coming. All in all it was such a lovely story. Its shorter chapters, but every word is purposeful to making you fall in love with both characters. In the end you get a happily ever after, and you couldn’t ask for more!

Howling’ For You by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Ohh my love, my whole heart is in this fic. This is such an amazing story. I sometimes don’t love the good girl bad boy trope because its overdone and excessive, but THIS. This is so well done, is he protective? Yes. But does he also know she is perfectly capable of being an independent human? Yes! There were so many twists and turns and absolutely heartwarming love between the two characters. I also love how in character every person is. Amazingly well done, would read it every day if I could.

Wild Horses by @whitewolfbumble

Bad Boy exterior SOFT boy middle?? Yes! This fic is so adorable. It really shows the build of the relationship, and thats always my favorite part. It was such a true to life story in my opinion, the reader started of lost and finding her place in the world, then this lovely group of people just accepted her and helped her through her tough times. It was such a heartwarming read, with angst that just solidified the connection between the characters. And the friendship they all had was so refreshing compared to some stories where people are just rude for no reason. Its a short yet sweet read, and I 100% recommend it.

Long Way Round by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan

This was a hard one to choose, so many amazing biker stories they’ve written! But im a sucker for series’ and this series is so awesome. I LOVE Plus size reader stories, hell yeah representation! Now this story is a TRIP! Its like a really good episode of criminal minds. There are so many details jam packed into this that I couldn’t put my phone down! Shady gangs, corrupt leaders, and a smart as hell reader. This was just such a good read, not even for Bucky, but just for the incredible story telling. Sweet protective Bucky is always a plus though. Also, check out their other amazing stories like The Bounty, and Red Star Rebel, they’re just as amazing as this one!

A Real Sweet Guy by @mycupoffanfiction

I remember when I first read this it was only a oneshot and I was super sad, but then BOOM it turned into an adorable series. Its not done yet but its so good so far! Its the epitome of soft baby boy Bucky under a hard tough guy exterior. The way Ellie portrays relationships between characters is so cute, you feel the love between everyone whether that be platonic or romantic. Its through details that she sets up this lovely little universe that you just get sucked into, and honesty im fine staying there lol. I cant wait to read more of this one!

Rebel by @promarvelfangirl

Okay for this, just a warning, my device has a little trouble with the master list so it may be easier to use the desktop version :) Okay about the story, holy hell this one is cute. Bucky is HOPELESS, and just wants a date, Peter has the worst timing, and Steve just is along for the ride. I love mutual pining fics where one is completely oblivious to the other trying to ask them out, and the other is just trying their best lol. I felt like banging my head on the table very time Bucky got too nervous, but alas! It worked in the end, adorable little fic. They also have a cute set of biker Bucky stories called Fancy hair that I love so much.

Born To Run by @softbiker

Slow burn baby! This one is still in progress but hot damn is it good so far. I love this trope of the girl not really wanting anything to do with the guy but the guy and his friends being like well thats too dang bad! I love the idea that family isn’t what you’re born with, its who you love and who loves you. This fic is absolutely lovely so far, and though obviously I don’t know much about where its going to end up, where it is right now is good enough for me to put it on this list!

Notorious by @interestedbystanderwrites

I know I’ve been going on and on about how much I love Soft sweet Bucky. But I also LOVE badass tough guy who is very scary Bucky. And oh baby is this the perfect fic for that! Bucky is a felon, and a hot one at that. And what he sets his eyes on, he gets. That thing just so happens to be the all to trusting reader. This is such a thrilling fic. It reminds me of baby driver for some reason. I love seeing the cracks that show a bit of sweet Bucky. It leaves me waiting for more! He’s her addiction, she cant help but to stick around. Such a good fic, I cannot wait for more of it! 

Deny Me by @brooklynsboys 

This fic made my heart turn to mush. Its about an insecure reader, and a tough buck who has the softest heart ever but doesn’t know how to show it sometimes. My absolute favorite bucky is the bucky that only his girl gets to see, and this is the perfect representation of that. The way they write is spectacular. They get you to completely understand the feelings the character has without literally just writing it. You are right there in the world with them, feeling what they feel. And who doesn’t love a perfect happy ending?

Whatever it Takes by @sgtjbuccky 

Oh Buddy, lets talk about how much I LOVE this fic. Bucky is the biggest charming jerk there is, but you love to hate him. I was smiling the whole way through this read. Literally my face hurt by the end I was smiling so big! It was cute, and I felt every frustration, yet every single bit of the tension they had. The reader is a smart little cookie, and bucky is too cocky for his own good. If you want a cute extremely well written fic, this is the place to go!

Tender Surprises by @empyreanwritings 

Jesus, talk about tooth rotting tear jerking fluff. You know those videos where the child asks a pseudo-parent to adopt them? Yeah, thats this perfectly embodied in a fic. I cried, read it again, then cried some more. I love how it mixes tough biker Bucky with soft non-toxic masculinity father. We need more of that. It was so perfectly written, the flashbacks are perfectly placed, and give another layer of depth into this familial relationship they have. I love Dad!Bucky and Biker!Bucky, so to have them wrapped into on is perfect.

Softail by @nacho-bucky 

Theres something about the way Cait writes thats just poetic. She could write about my morning routine and it would be art. This fic is no exception. Its the cutest little thing, two people in a diner, brought together by chance and a little bit of courage. Its an adorable little story about trust, and taking a chance. Bucky is supportive and encouraging, reader is a little scared. But it all works out in the end, because everything is okay when you’re with the one you love. 10/10.

You Give Love, A Bad Name by @em-imagines

I love stories like these.  The cocky boy chasing the uninterested girl, yet there is obviously some tension there? Yeah, thats my cuppa tea right there. Also, its a high school AU! Love those. This story is definitely a mixed bag of feels. You get the super cute chase, but you also see a raw side of Bucky, and his unfortunate home life. As sad as it is, I think its a good representation of true life, where there is always something that you don’t know about someone. Theres vulnerability to this, and that makes it such a lovely story to read. Incredibly well done.

What’s On The Inside by @revengingbarnes

Is this technically a mechanic and not Biker AU? Yes. But he rides a motorcycle and its too good to not mention lol. This fic is ADORABLE. Mutual Pining! Shy flirting! Instant Connection! Bike Riding! Its incredibly well done too. Its just one of those feel good stories, it makes you smile, and want to get to know more about the characters. Soft Beefy bucky is my favorite boy, and this is SUCH a good representation of him. My heart was mush the whole way through. 10/10 would read again (for the 12739th time)

Broken by @allthebucky now on @poeticbarnes 

Forbidden lovers y’all, thats it. Like Romeo and Juliet except Bucky is a dummy who doesn’t know the right thing to do, and the reader just wanted truth. Its a short but sweet little fic, theres so much emotion packed into the story too! You feel the pain the reader and bucky hold at different times, but you also feel the longing as well. Its such a cute relationship they have, and I’m always a sucker for bucky putting the reader first!

Over The River and Through the Woods by @geminimoonbeamx

Sure its only September, but that doesn’t mean its not time for a killer Christmas Fic! Also another plus size reader hell yeah! I LOVE the domesticity from this! Its like Love Actually, a bunch of absolutely crazy people coming together, and the reader and Bucky are just trying to get out alive lol. It also really sweet in dressing what its like to be without those you love on holidays. A perfect balance of sweet and serious. Its so cute, and so funny. I have a non conventional family so I can relate to this so much.  The love between the two is so palpable and so heartwarming. 

Home Sweet Home by @sweet-barnes

Their name says it all. This story is just one big ball of sweet biker Bucky and his sleepy gal. I am always looking for those small tooth rotting fics just to boost my feelings for a day and oh man is this is. Bucky is the biggest cuddle bug in history and not even his scary biker persona can change my mind. This fic made me smile so hard, and then want to take a nice nap with the teddy bear Bucky Barnes himself.

Skin by @captain-ariel-barnes

Okay I love this one because I’ve not read another like it. I love how she portrays Bucky as having been in an accident and having memory problems because of it. Its so real and sad when you think about it because its entirely realistic and truthful to life. And boy is Bucky not just the sweetest thing ever. He wants to remember his girl no matter what, so he makes it permanent. Their relationship is so cute. I just love soft Bucky with my whole heart. Amazing story, so well done! 

The Mailbox by @kaunis-sielu

This one was one of the first one shots I read of biker bucky and I still love it so much! Bucky is such a softie, running into mailboxes fixing them, even having Steve paint it? Okay big bad biker guy, you sure are scary… Also, protective bucky yeah baby!! Hell do what he needs to to keep the reader safe, and oh baby if that isn’t like my favorite trope ever. Also the little sassy elements are hilarious. I also recommend their other biker fics such as Stitches, or Just Married. :)

Oh god. That was a long one. Would you believe me if I said I had to cut it from 37 to these 20 here? Hardest decision of my life lol. Thank you all so much for reading until the end. I hope you all love these fics as much as I do! :)

[cautious-creation]

Human-dodie; Barry Allen fluff

Fandom & Character: DC; Flash (Grant Gustin)

Pairing(s): Flash/Barry Allen (Grant Gustin) x 1st person gender neutral reader

Word/page count: 1200ish words; 1,5 pages

CW/TW: fluff, little bit of insecurity &/or impostor syndrome

Summary: reader gets home from a tough day at work then sings a duet with his/her/their boyfriend, Barry Allen

Author’s note: I LOVE this song, I was listening to it as I was falling asleep one night and came up with this. I’ve been doing singing training for years so I thought I would use some of the terminology and describe techniques and such that I use. I can’t decide if I nailed what I was trying to do here or if it’s confusing and cringey. I’m being brave posting it though🤷  Also, is this a song fic? What makes a fic a song fic?

Music video of ‘Human’ by dodie

It had been a long day. Not necessarily rough, certainly not easy, but long. I'd given many deep sighs on the way home from work, through the kitchen making a mug of tea and grabbing a few biscuits, and heading up to my room. The mug sat on the bedside table, cooling to a drinkable temperature beside the biscuits, as I shed the clothes of the day in lieu of a pair of large, boxers and an unwashed baggy shirt from the floor, beside the laundry basket.

When I flopped onto the left side of the bed, I had my earphones in my hand -unfortunately in a matted tangle of cables and earbuds- with my phone -ready to be plugged in to charge on the bedside table. I'd figured out as a child the exact length of time to dip these biscuits into hot tea to not lose half of it to the drink and have it still crunchy enough. Just how I liked it. The warmth that spread down my throat from the tea almost made the throw blanket over my legs, below my waist, redundant.

I didn't have the mental energy, nor felt the need, to choose a playlist, so music drifted into my ears on shuffle -once I'd managed to negotiate the cables of my earphones apart. The pillows behind my back angled my head so I didn't have to hold my phone in the air to see my Instagram feed. 

It wasn't all that interesting. Some celebrity had said something inappropriate, prompting commentary and memes. One of my high school classmates was getting married, another was threatening to delete Instagram, again. My ex-bestfriend posted the setup of her desk as she studied for her PhD, it made me smile a little to myself, proud of the person she had become and what she'd achieved. A picture of a Canadian social media influencer's cat prompted me to 'aww' aloud.

Reaching the end of the new posts in my feed, I blanked the screen of my phone and set it by my mug on the side table to charge. I placed my hands over my belly, twisting the wooden beads of a bracelet that I kept on my wrist between my fingers. I stared at the ceiling for a while, then closed my eyes, resigning to the music and my own thoughts.

"She's a little ru-u-u-u-u-un away." I hummed along at times, occasionally whisper-singing some lyrics.

A familiar, rhythmic, guitar plucking sounded. It brought a soft smile to my face. I took in a deep sigh of breath. My fingers tapped against my torso with the chiming of a second instrument that I just couldn't quite identify.

‘I wanna pick you up and scoop you out’ I’d always admired Dodie’s cute British annunciation.

‘I want the secrets your secrets haven't found’

“Paint me in trust.” I sang softly with her, trying to mimic the gentleness in her tone.

‘I'll be your best friend. Call me the one.’ I heard shuffling near the door and peaked at Barry through a half open eyelid.

“This night just can't end.” He smiled at me with the same softness I smiled at the song with.

“Woah-oh.” He'd ditched his shoes and took a few long strides to lie in the bed beside me. He must've come from STARR labs with the sweatpants and t-shirt he wore.

“Will you share your soul with me?” He sang. The sound gave my skin a subtle warmth, I'd always loved to hear him sing.

“Unzip your skin and let me have a see.” I answered the line he sang.

‘Paint me in trust.’ The line muffled slightly as I handed the earbud that had been in my left ear to Barry.

“I'll be your best friend.” I sang

“Call me the one.” He joined

“This night just can't end.” I took a slow, deep breath, hearing him continue.

“Woah-oh.” I enjoyed the feeling of the notes vibrate through my chest.

“I'm…so,” I closed my eyes to truly hear the melodic chorus of the last word, “hu-u-man.”

Barry turned on his side to look at me. There seemed to be a brightness in his eyes.

“We're just,” I heard him take a breath to harmonise the title word with me, “hu-u-man.”

I looked at him. I could tell he liked how it had sounded.

“Lean for me and I'll fall back.” The fingers of his left hand danced along my right arm.

“You'll fit so nicely, you'll keep me in tact.” I joined my right hand in his left.

“Paint me in trust.” His eyebrows lifted slightly on the higher note

“I'll be your best friend.” I joined him, “Call me the one.”

“This night just can't end.” He let me sing alone.

“Woah-oh.” He seemed to enjoy that part too.

My smile faded slightly. My gaze flittered around his face, admiring him.

“I want to give you your grin.” To show I meant it, the tips of the fingers on my left hand danced against his cheekbone.

“So tell me you can bear a room that I'm not in.” His expression mimicked mine as he joined me

‘Paint me in trust.’ we both took a beat to emphasise our previous lines

"I'll be your best friend," Barry broke the brief silence, "Call me the one"

I grinned at the words, his enthusiasm for our relationship, "this night just can't end"

'Woah-oh.' 

Slowly, my smile fell and I looked away from Barry with an unfocused gaze, "I'm so hu-u-man." I don't know if I'd ever voiced to him my insecurity about me, an unremarkable non-meta, being unworthy of The Flash.

He caressed my jaw so softly, encouraging me to look back at the sympathetic, hopeful, loving expression on his kind face, "We're," he leaned his forehead against mine, ",just,"

His reassurance returned a subtle spark of contented happiness to my face. I breathed through my smile to join him in the final harmony, ", hu-u-man." 

The sweet tone in that final word was encouragement, our reminder to each other how much we care about each other and our relationship. I bit my lower lip, grinning. His own grin shone back at me.

At the final beat of the track we both started giggling.

"We're such dorks." He pulled my body close to his.

"Then you, Barry Allen, are adorkable." I booped him on the nose with the index finger of my hand that I'd freed from his grasp. He recaptured my hand in retaliation.

I let myself sigh into him.

"Most couples ask each other how their day was when they get home from work." His expression was mockingly accusatory.

"And we perfectly sing random, unprepared duets." I shrugged, "I think we're winning." He shook his head at me with a smile.

When he started shifting, I moved to lie on my side, facing him. My right hand held his left, between us, against the bed. His right arm draped over my torso. My left hand rested on his shoulder, fingers delicately tracing nonsense against his neck, jaw and cheek.

His face scrunched up a little when his hand drifted down my side, reaching the bottom hem of the shirt I wore, "Are you wearing my clothes?"

"The shirt: yes. But the boxers are mine." I became a little concerned at the subtle flash of horror that crossed his face.

"Have I been wearing your boxers?" It was a mere whisper.

I burst out laughing.

It may have been a long day before I got home from work, but being there-in bed with Barry, talking, watching videos on my phone, holding each other-made me wish that the rest of my day could've been a lot longer.

[dsk129]

Breakup advice from a relationship therapist

Hello all. Hopefully all of you have been doing well. Unfortunately, although im not clinically experienced in therapy myself(as you guys may have hoped), I have visited a relationship therapist who was a friend of my relatives back when I wanted to become a therapist myself back in 11th grade 4 years ago. After some general talks about this possible future career, I out of curiosity asked what the best breakup advice would be regarding if I had to encounter a future breakup if I were to enter a relationship with someone. He said that the first thing one should acknowledge is that love is an overwhelming emotion that defies rationality and logic. A breakup would bring even the emotionally strongest people on their knees, despite how many emotional struggles they have endured in the past with seemingly little effort. It brings even the most logical people into a great state of confusion. They may act on emotions rather than their own rationality, serving as proof that emotions can overpower logic. Not only do people struggle emotionally, but also physically. People suffer from a lack of appetite, breathing would be like inhaling toxic gas for them, and many patients of his would report body cramps all over. He told me that emotional strength is determined by how quickly one would strive to rebuild himself and focus on healing from a breakup. As much as time is needed in order to heal, effort is the main thing that heals one from any emotionally devastating experience, whether if it’s a breakup or loss of a loved one!

Here comes my own advice: Rather than trying to distract yourself in the toughest stages of a breakup, just grieve it out. Cry if you want. Grieve if you want. Smash everything you see if that is what helps you. Acknowledge that it requires time and effort to regain a positive and healthy mindset. Thinking about your ex often is normal. Feelings of anger and regret are normal. Having desire to stalk his or her social media is normal. If these thoughts are overpowering you, talk to a friend or family. Mental force alone does not overpower love. Therefore trying to force yourself to believe that the “past is just the past” will never work. We are humans, not androids or computers that can delete unwanted data from our memories. We need to stick and become one with our emotions and evolve with them. Apart from exercise and daily goals, focus on releasing oxytocin and serotonin. These activities can include a warm bath, hot coffee, writing a sad poem, etc(research this if you wish). A particular advice tho, is to call a friend or family. Talk about what made you feel grateful about their presence. Talk about any particular moments you guys had together. Try to establish the most heart-warming conversation you can attempt. Read books on character building. Grab sunlight and fresh air too. Practice tidiness and organization. Perhaps stop wearing shoes in the house if you are wearing them(I feel so much better not wearing shoes in the house lmao). What I would recommend for you guys is to start doing daily goals. Every morning when you wake up, the first thing I want you to do is to try and plan out how you will spend your day. Try to make it as productive as possible without making it too overbearing or inadequate. The key here is to gradually uplift your motivation and spirit without overstraining yourself. As you heal, gradually challenge yourself more and more. Push to your limits, but do not go beyond them. At the end of the day, I want you to reflect on how it was. How could you improve it? Was it helpful? Was it worth it? Additionally, prepare a list of daily triggers on a separate piece of paper. It is always helpful to write down your emotions as it can help process your thoughts better.

After a decent healing, consider doing long-term goals. try and Conquer any fears and insecurities you may have. Overcoming them helps build your self-worth as you recover from a breakup. Practice good character. Perhaps dedicate some time into supporting homeless children or pets by joining a particular group. Offer some change to the homeless too. Try new things in life. Hobbies are fine, but the problem is for hobbies is that you are repeating the same lesson you learned over and over. For many people, finding new ways to cope by building new skills and experiences does not only help one recover from a breakup, but also score points in life in general. Scoring points in life is not just about building new experiences and skills. It refers to emotional growth as a whole. Emotional growth is how we evolve as people. We become better at handling issues as well as developing good moments as we mature. Imo, everyone should strive to learn new things. This is because we share a planet with nearly 8 billion people who have went through different experiences. Therefore, there is always something we can learn from each other. Not only that, we then have the solar system which is outside earth. Then we have the galaxy, and then the universe, and lastly, a realm of space which humankind is completely unfamiliar with. Therefore, logic is infinite. It is impossible to learn everything. No matter how much we learn humankind will never be able to learn everything. This is why we take advantage of every opportunity to learn!

Finally see the breakup as an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser. As you heal, your heart grows stronger and stronger. Your outlook will improve! Look forward to seeing the evolved version of yourself! Hopefully this doesn’t trigger any of you, but a breakup might just be a blessing in disguise. Yes it is painful, but no one else was hurt. All that happened was that your heart was shattered into pieces. All that needs to be done is to recollect the shattered pieces of your heart and re-glue them. A recovery from a breakup will help you deal with other emotional challenges, whether if they are lighter or heavier. The thing that will score you the most amount of points is the recovery from the breakup! Completing day to day chores and everyday responsibilities to achieving major goals grants you new points in life! Scoring as many points in life as you can without unnecessarily overstraining yourself emotionally is the second best advice I can ever offer to one going through a breakup!

Another piece of advice i forgot to include is to let go of grudges against your ex, even towards anyone. Im not suggesting to let go because its wrong, but because it is unhealthy to a person as a whole. It can affect your relationships with others and overall all it will do is prevent you from having a positive outlook towards life. Build the time and effort to gradually let go of your grudges. I BELIEVE that one reason why people struggle on accepting and moving on is because they hold resentment towards their ex. Part of accepting and moving on is to let go of hatred. Hatred is never healthy at all. Try to see yourself as the bigger person and pity them for what they are if you were in the right.

Conclusion: Yes it is a hard and difficult road with many roadblocks and obstacles. A breakup will be like a rollercoaster. Some days are easier. Other days it may be a challenge getting out of bed! Remember that as you go through this you will grow. You will mature. You are in the process of overcoming one of life's most emotional challenges. You will grow stronger. You will be able to lead other people as well. See your breakup as a physical illness/injury that requires time and judicious effort to bring yourself up for recovery. Finally, I want you to scream at the sky. Scream and yell at the top of your lungs saying that you will not let the past cling onto you and you will be mighty and work on yourself to recover. To give you some motivation, think about the low economic status the poor residents of Africa suffer from. They go through so many fears. They lack housing, food, access to medical care, as well as lack of access to clean water. They have to go through the fear of losing someone dear to them and may have even lost so many loved ones from disease or poor living conditions. Despite these emotional challenges they struggle from, they are always up on their feet, working for survival, staying positive and happy. They are some of the mightiest people on Earth. If these people were able to achieve such emotional strength from these hardships, then why can’t you? To become strong like them, challenge yourself. Stop relying on simple everyday comforts such as Wifi and technology and strive to improve. Becoming stronger means extending your comfort zone. Everyday challenges was how the people of poor economic status stand mightier. My overall summarizing advice is to not try and simply “move on.” In fact, I encourage you to embrace your grief and grow from it. Every emotion serves its purpose in our hearts. Happiness brings us energy and motivation, but negative emotions such as anger and grief grant us exceptional emotional growth once we recover from them. Therefore it is at times of hardship, no matter how big it is, should be embraced. The summary of this post is: rest. Then cradle. Then stand. Then baby steps. Then walk. Then sprint. Then sprint faster. Finally. sprint as fast as you can.

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Down the Rabbit Hole Revised Snippet & Deleting the Series

Dear reader,

As has been hinted at multiple times, Down the Rabbit Hole is currently in the process of being made into a proper novel. The final chapter will still be made available online on this blog for a short time to close the series off. However, the same can likely not be said for the final interlude (those parts of the series where the POV switches to another character).

Another unfortunate fluke of prepping the fanfic into being made fit for actual publishing is a change of style. The poetics are still there for they are still my strong point and personal preference, but the personal philosophy of never using an explicit first person point of view or use possessive pronouns has to be put aside in order to lower the formality of the text. In other words, I am copy-editing the novel and making some minor yet grand changes as you will see in the snippet. 

Lastly, I want to note that the entire series will only be available online for a little longer since it will turn into an actual book at some point in time. It will be deleted on all platforms in the future.

When exactly? I do not know, but fairly soon.

That is all I have to say for now regarding the series and the changes it is going through.

Until we speak again.

Yours,

Jules Wolverton-Hyde

The jazz tunes filter in through the ears as hazily as the image of the café filled with old furniture in various warm shades of wood, moss green velvet and royal red. Tall bookshelves fashioned from dark wood and filled to the brim with an array of colourful titles covering all sorts of genres surround the interior, masking every wall painted a tone of pure chocolate aside from the one behind the counter, which consists of bare red brick. Vintage chandeliers illuminate the space dimly, giving it a cosy atmosphere perfect for bookworms to rejoice in with their book of preference.

''Syl, are you alright?'' A nudge against the shoulder almost causes a waste of good coffee, a hand lightly tanned by the countryside sun in earlier days grabbing the shoulder to steady the still half-asleep body. ''Careful. You were busy writing again, weren't you? I'm sure Cheshire can wait just fine and wants you to watch after your health. As do I.''

Mentally wishing to be left in peace or somewhere that is possible, my gaze flicks upward, hoping eyes contain the threatening glint of morning grogginess and irritation thoughts create the image of when not thinking of a berating comment. Nobody gets away with spilling even the smallest amount of precious liquid black gold, a splash of it now decorating the clay tiles regardless. However, there is no point in arguing and certainly not over something like this. Not this early in the morning at least.

And so with a heavy sigh, gazes lock with the colleague's cat-like narrow eyes. However, not even the mention of the dear reader and their supportive nature does anything to better the current state of mind. ''Jay, it's fine. I slept for three hours and breakfast will keep me going at least till lunch. I'll just slip in a few shots of espresso during the day.''

''Three hours is way too short, you know that, mister Sleep-is-for-the-weak. Take it easy today, alright? I don't want to drag you to the hospital due to exhaustion and an overdose of caffeine.'' Lips pull into a stern line when I don't immediately respond, eyebrows raising and drawing together while leaning in after shuffling a little closer. Considering the lowered voice, Jaemin, or Jay to make it easier for other people, the matter is quite serious. ''Promise me, Sylvester.''

''Yes, okay, fine. I promise.'' Despite sounding sharp, I look away to take a big bite out of the freshly prepared multigrain omelette bagel, making it clear the discussion is over. Funnily enough, it is once more proven that food is the best cure for annoyance since the agitated feelings fade as the stomach is filled with fuel for the day.

The satisfied sliver a smile on the friend's round yet sculpted face, part of the forehead obscured by a few locks of hair as black as the starless winter sky, brightens the foul mood as well. The mere comrade's presence is enough to erase all negativity caused by the negligence of well-being in favour of the art of words. ''Let me just upload the new chapter of Scarred and then open the place.''

Whilst Jay retrieves the keys hanging in the lockbox in the back office, I finish the habitual breakfast, the last sip of Americano containing three shots of espresso washing away the final bite of the meal. Afterwards, fingers deftly fish the phone sitting snug in the pocket of dark trousers to quickly open the publishing platform's app and press the publication button at the end of the draft.

Thanks to the hasty morning ritual - throwing on the first ivory work shirt and proper trousers to be found before splashing some water into my face before rapidly doing the acne-prone skincare routine and a quick brush of the teeth - and afterwards rushing to get here, the upload schedule of Scarred has been interrupted. Notwithstanding, it is fortunately only delayed by an hour. Nevertheless, it would be a lie to say it isn't irksome because it feels like a responsibility toward the audience to make sure new chapters are uploaded on time.

I hope it makes your morning better than mine, Cheshire. Sorry for the wait.

''It's online?'' The fairly low voice suddenly sounding directly on the right makes every muscle stiffen in alarm, head jerking away from where warm breath brushes the side of the neck. The wariness vanishes a split second later once it's registered that it belongs to the other barista, who is chuckling at the reaction to the sudden appearance and points at the device held in calloused hands to indicate still expecting an answer to the question.

''Yup, out there for the world to see.''

''For Cheshire to see, you mean. You still haven't chatted with them?'' The answer to that is plain to read in the absent rubbing of the upper arms after putting the phone away, crumpling ever so slightly under the older man's scrutiny. A breathless self-deprecating laugh strengthens the confirmation whilst also unintentionally stirring up a feeling of wrongdoing, failing at something that should have been attempted already a long time ago. ''You have to give it a shot. They obviously care for you, otherwise they wouldn't comment on every single thing you post. Moreover, they've been with you ever since you became The White Rabbit. Somebody that doesn't like you would have left long ago.''

There is a point, a very clear one, in Jay's response and it would be delusional to call it ungrounded. Contact with this long-time reader should have been made by now yet the courage to do so is far from present, the fear of radio silence turning eternal too great. All it takes is one mistake and this scared personified bunny is not willing to take the risk of making it, thus preventing it by avoiding the conversation altogether.

Avoiding eye contact with burning cheeks, focus averted to the feet stuck in simple worn grey sneakers, I try to think of the right words to push from the dry throat as teeth bite down on the bottom lip. Eventually, I find them although speech makes them grow soft with insecurity, barely audible as they come out on a stammer. ''I- It would just be a bother to them. I h- have nothing to offer.''

Two slender palms place themselves on the shoulders and give them a firm shake. ''You'll never know if you don't try, so don't say such crap. And it's clear they like you, as I said. If you don't start the chat, I will.''

[cetologies]

i once again... need to vent. so i apologize. i don’t have another outlet but it is under a read more. this is my personal experience, on the off-chance someone reads this and decides to pick a fight with me. i feel like i don’t have to say that but alas, the internet.

posting this late at night so hopefully too many won’t be subjected to it. i go into detail a little bit on this stuff.

tw: ED, body dysmorphia, OCD, depression, SH, anxiety, s//cide ment

i’m sorry i tried to tag it as well as possible to cater to anything blacklisted, i will most likely delete this but otherwise if something needs to be tagged differently please tell me 

this is definitely the worst i’ve felt in a long time. years probably. and some of it is my fault, so i feel like i’m not allowed to complain. but i will anyway. all i’m asking is to get down to 115 again. i was that small when i was 16 and i want to be there again. i haven’t weighed myself with intention to see what weight i am in maybe 4-5 years. 

i make it a point when i go to doctors offices to not tell me my weight. i cover my eyes and *usually* explicitly state that. but i didn’t three years ago, though i said “i don’t want to know my weight” and put my hands over my eyes and she still told me my weight. i remember crying and being loud, the doctor (who had known me for years) had immediately asked the nurse if she told me my weight.

i’ve always had body image issues but holy shit not like this. i’ve suffered with depression and anxiety most of my life. i’ve ticked off almost every single box in terms of diagnosed mental illnesses (except schizophrenia... which even that i’m starting to check off a few). but like i said, holy shit never like this. i would like to say this is harder to deal with than the anxiety/depression i previously have dealt with, but i dont know anymore.

this definitely hurts so bad though. i am getting depressed again, and cannot see this getting better anytime soon. partially my fault once again. i’d just like to lose a little more weight before seeing a doctor. i think i weighed (at the time of that incident above) around 129?? which is... healthy for my height but so is 115. 

my problem is i can’t eat. i can’t think about eating. my default state is now just nausea. i get nauseous from not eating, i get nauseous thinking about eating, and i get nauseous from eating. since october i cant stomach anything. i started adderall in december and it made it 10x worse. i’ve since switched to adderall xr (adzenys?) and i can at least drink water now and only a get half as nauseous. but that was really scary!! i had a little swig of water, no more than a sip, and had to lay down for 4 hours because i was so nauseous. 

my main issue is now i feel guilty for eating. which is normal for eating disorders. but i can’t eat more than 100 calories without wanting to self harm. it’s ridiculous, and i know it’s ridiculous but unfortunately that’s the number i can’t let go. i cried for an hour today bc i ate those lil brownie little bites and it was the second thing i ate today (aside from celery, which i also got sick and felt bad about eating bc i googled the calories: 60) and accidently saw how many calories they were. 240. 

so i ate 300 calories today and that was enough to make me want to vomit (i can’t, i’m emetophobic) and crawl into a hole and disappear. i have never ever dealt with stuff like this before and it’s so scary. i’m afraid my health is failing because of it but i can’t stop. it’s so unrealistic to eat less than 100 calories a day. the standard recommended is 2000, yet for some reason i can’t eat more than 100 without wanting to die

i check my body measurements 3-4 times a day. i spend at LEAST two hours in front of a mirror body checking and looking at my figure from all angles. these issues have definitely stemmed from my figure along with my insecurities. my entire life the only thing i’ve been complimented on is my measurements. it’s all i have. i’m not very pretty, but people are in love with my figure. and i am too! so many people tell me my body is great the way it is but i don’t care what they think, i care what i think. and i think i need to go back down to 115. 

i’ve chalked up my self worth to my body measurements. it’s not something that’s generally achievable without surgery, so it feels almost like a trophy to me because of how fucked up my brain is. i can’t lose it because that’s the only thing that i like about myself. or at least the only thing i like about myself that i don’t want to impulsively destroy like my eyelashes

and it’s not like i’m trying to achieve a completely flat stomach or anything. i just look a little disproportionate to me, since i carry fat only in the stomach. a little pudge is natural and i understand that. like i said, 115 is still healthy for 5′3′’. it’s not like im trying to drop down below 100. i had told myself once i lost the weight, then i’ll go get help for the fact i am violently nauseous no matter what.

which leads me to my next problem: this is my only solution. i can’t lose weight through exercise (esp exercise that involves numbers) bc of my OCD. i have such bad obsessive nature with any numbers (as stated w/ my weight, my body measurements, etc) and like i did when i started looking at calories, i’ll become so obsessive with exercise that if he doesn’t reach my fantastical expectations, i’ll want to self harm.

something that’s really making me upset is i specifically never looked at calories, checked my weight, etc. because i knew this would happen. i went out of my way to avoid stuff like this bc i knew i was susceptible to this kind of thinking and it still happened anyway. my body is going to start shutting down soon if it hasn’t started already. 

it’s fucking ridiculous though! i’ve tried to kill myself (and still, suffering as i am, i still thank god i made it out alive) and it’s just crazy that that was over anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, bullying, etc. and now i want to kill myself bc i ate CELERY!!! bc it’s 60 calories!!! like its so illogical!! i’m a very naturally logical person so this is just like each side of my brain hitting the other with a bat.

it doesn’t look like i’ve lost any weight, despite purposely not eating for 4 months. my grades are bad, my gpa dropped .5 points bc of covid and i’m fucking stupid anyway. i try my best not to self harm bc of my fear of blood but i usually end up scratching myself til i bleed anyway. 

i’m suffering and trying my best to make it through this but i’m trying my best. i just want to wait to get help until i lose a little more. but i am fucking suffering. all i want is to eat again. or at least to eat and not feel guilty afterwards. my portions are so much smaller, i can only eat a few bites of any meal and it’s so fucking scary but i can’t stop myself from wanting to lose more.

like i said, i’ve always had body image issues but nothing like this. i’m so so so scared but. there’s nothing my brain will allow me to do until i lose a little more weight. im afraid im causing/on the road to causing irreversible damage but i just!! can’t stop!! not being able to eat more than 100 calories is so fucking ridiculous i’m ashamed of myself. i shouldn’t be having anxiety attacks over eating celery.

[cr0wprince]

Now I’m afraid my name might be brought up though. I did some shitty things with her when we were friends. It’s been five to almost seven years (five since the last time I spoke to her and almost seven since I met her). I was 17-18 in the time I knew her and I’m very easily influenced by the people around me, but I’m ultimately responsible for my actions. I saw another ex-friend of hers brought up (not by name) and now I’m kind of scared.

I’m gonna be a little vague and my memory isn’t the best (I try to block things out as a defense mechanism), but I’m going to try to recount it, just for my own benefit. I’m not even going to name her, but will refer to her as LR. I don’t think anyone cares tbh lmao

I met her in 2014. It was probably February or March, so I was 17. We were both cosplaying Attack on Titan, very big at the time. Someone posted in a con Facebook group that they made a cosplay group for the area/con for Attack on Titan. I only had my jeans, shirt, jacket (that I made), wig, and glasses for Hanji at that time and I posted a picture, “I’m not too confident in how I look, but here’s my cosplay.” and she commented that it was a good cosplay. We went from there, started chatting, and made plans to meet at the con. She was 19 at the time, of it really matters, but we were still age appropriate friends.

The con comes by. I didn’t wear Attack on Titan the first day, felt kind of left out when we started meeting other people from the group. She’s always been a social butterfly (I think it’s an attention thing more than she actually enjoys it tbh, but I might be biased??) and I’ve been really shy about approaching people after being bullied in middle school. The next two days I wore my unfinished SNK cosplay, didn’t have the belts, but had a fun time.

She ran a panel and promised that I could be Hanji in it and let someone else be Hanji as well, and this person got more attention because she was more outgoing, which kind of bummed me out, but at 17, I was a very jealous cosplayer and would get jealous about people cosplaying the same thing as me. Not a healthy mindset, but it is what it is and you grow from it.

She had told me she was in pre-med (I’m going to remind you she’s 19 at this point, not unusual but it’s what she tells me next which is the questionable part) and that she’s going to start on the medical stuff the next year. I’m 17 and naive and don’t question it. I know now pre-med takes four years. This is an example of her lying to me/holding things in.

We continued being friends with the SNK group, had meetups at a local park, and whatever. She lamented to me about not being able to go to Colossalcon because she couldn’t afford it or something and my parents pay for cons, so I talked them into letting her stay with us. I had started cosplaying Ymir to her Christa and I did have a cry privately to LR when another girl cosplayed Ymir to another girl’s Christa because the other Christa felt left out by me being LR’s Ymir. I felt jealous they got more attention, again, not a healthy mindset, but I was 17 and convinced I was going to be a professional cosplayer. I know now it’s a bad mindset. LR took my meltdown the wrong way, which I’ll get to later.

It wasn’t long after, maybe a couple months. She had stopped hanging out with the friend I had met her with at the con, which I realize now is kind of sus, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. But anyway, a couple months later at most, she makes a post in the Facebook group that she’s been feeling left out of the SNK group. A few people from it got together to talk about it, she finds out, and I get pissed. I make a big post in the group about how they’re purposely leaving her out. I’m loyal to a fault, and sometimes it blinds me. It splits the group, they still keep together, but LR and I separate from them.

We move on to different series and start doing cosplay photos. It’s something I wanted to do for a while. She’s a little hesitant, but I hype it up and she eventually gets into it. At Otakon, she asks mentions if I’d be okay with her cosplaying Juvia (a big comfort character of mine, and one I’d failed to finish a cosplay of that con, but I’d gotten Levy done, which still worked with her Lucy) and I’m thrown off guard. I tell her no lmao. I mean really though, what would I do? But it’s important later.

I have big plans. I don’t always finish my big plans. I want to do a ton of different cosplays and she feeds into me. She finishes things while I normally don’t. I realize I shouldn’t have agreed to do so many, but also, the one’s she made aren’t unwearable? She can cosplay without me matching? But it’s something she internalizes.

We book lots of shoots. It’s fun! We don’t get the most expensive photographers (we’re 18 and 20 at the time) but it’s fun. There’s a particular photographer I wanted to work with and she books her since she’s dealing with it at this point since I have a lot of anxiety talking to people. By the time the con rolls around, my costume didn’t work out the way I wanted and my skirt is held up with safety pins. It shows in the photos, so does her back acne. She goes on a tangent on her Facebook cosplay page about how unprofessional the photographer is, how she doesn’t edit photos for anyone but her friends. I, unfortunately, share it. At that time, neither of us have a big following (I still don’t, she doesn’t really either, only 3,700 after she remade, but did have almost 10k at one point), so it doesn’t go far. The photographer and friends stick up for the photographer and it doesn’t go anywhere luckily.

I’m falling deeper into depression at this point. I’m not finishing projects I’m supposed to do with her, messages are spotty on my end. We still do a couple of cons together. The next con of the first we met at comes around, I don’t have anything done, I’m mortified. I skip a whole day. It’s in driving distance so it’s not like I was wasting a whole hotel day. She gets photos solo. It seems fine.

She messages me one day that her parents kicked her out. Something about a fight over her mom saying minimum wage workers don’t work as hard and LR snapping back. Her parents were really nice the couple of times I met them, which isn’t always indicative of how someone really is, but now I feel in my gut that there had to be something more. It feels like petty reason. She moves into her grandparents (and further selfies match that, so it seems like it had to be bad if she never went back). She messages me this and I’m thrown so off guard. Yeah, we called each other best friends. We didn’t talk to many other people as far as I knew at that point, but I had no idea what to say. It’s bad on my part, but I didn’t answer her for a week.

She didn’t message me or anything, didn’t delete me off Facebook, but vague posted me there about being there for people when they won’t be there for you, and people were hyping her up. I realized it might’ve been about me. I called her crying, terrified. Sent her messages. I don’t exactly remember what transpired, but did make up.

There was a point she told me she was dropping pre-med to become an accountant because it took a year and she wanted to focus on cosplay. Again, stupid 18yo me believed that that made sense and was like, “Oh okay!”

We went to a couple more cons, I’m pretty sure she was using me. We make plans for Youmacon, but I don’t message her for like a week in September of 2015. She asks if I’m okay (the only time) I tell her I’m doing really bad. We don’t talk until close to the con. I admit to her that I was thinking of admitting myself to the psych ward it was that bad, but though I didn’t tell her that, it’s ultimately a very hard, very personal choice. (I made it in May and it’s not an easy choice.) She tears me a new one, saying I should’ve went, that I was using her for companionship. She said she had plans to go to another con?? So the way I see it, she cared more about going to a con than anything else. She never checked in on me after I told her I was doing bad, just to take my time.

She has a new bff at this point. This is going to be so cruel, but her new friend isn’t as put together, which is fine! Cosplay is for fun! But I mention this because they get photos together. After my obsession with becoming a professional cosplayer, LR got into that mindset too. I’m so fucking sure that she used this other girl in photos to look better next to. The difference is so obvious in photos.

I make a cosplay that LR cosplayed when we were friends. I’m so proud. I haven’t finished anything in months. I cosplay a couple of things she did, but we were friends at one point, we like the same series, and there are a lot of big series. It’s bound to happen.

She vagues me on Instagram. She continues to stalk me on there (and I did her, not proud of it, but I’ll admit it). She posts things about how an ex friend had a breakdown over her having other friends (when I confided in her my jealousy over the Ymir/Christa duo), how I wouldn’t let her cosplay Juvia lmao (this still gets me. What would I do? Break your arm? You asked me on the spot and I was uncomfortable.). There was one Juvia cosplay post that I mentioned I had lost weight because while my uncle was dying, I wasn’t eating. I was helping with cleaning his house and I just wasn’t fucking eating. She took that as a jab about her because she has self image issues. There was also a big post she made how she KNEW I was cosplaying all the same things as her to make her jealous and to make her insecure, mentioning me by name even. I reported it and it got taken down.

I’d heard things through the grapevine. How she started shit in the Fate community and she was afraid of being beat up at Katsucon’s public photoshoot. How she tried to make a Love Live group, but when two girls couldn’t afford it and they would no longer have all nine, she threw a fit and cancelled the whole group. I’d also heard about her making a fuss over photos she got back when a cosplayer’s grandparent was dying. I stayed away after like a year, but a couple of people who knew me that knew I was friends with her would tell me things.

I wasn’t the best person, either. I’ll take responsibility for that. I wish I could apologize to the people I hurt while friends with her, but I no longer remember their names. I was a dumb teenager. I still get swept up in the people around me and get carried away when the people I are about are hurt. Maybe it’s something I need to work on. But, I ultimately don’t think she’s grown. I don’t think she’s gotten better. I think she’s only gotten worse over the year.

I’m not proofreading. There might be more, but it was a lot to go through, but I wanted to get it out. I hope the read more works, but I’m gonna throw on a long post warning too. If you read this, thank you, by the way. I just felt like I had to get it out.

[prodigalsonheadcanons]

Need your advice! Recently I started posting on Ao3 again and I've been receiving a lot of negative and condescending comments, not even about my writing or skills, but of the general content I guess (I write h/c) and it really makes me insecure and not want to post...but also I want to write? Have you ever dealt with this kind of negativety before? What should I do?

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had this experience. Unfortunately, it is one I’m also familiar with. I can definitely give you some advice!!

Let me preface this reply first…there are some types of work floating around this fandom that are problematic. For multiple reasons. I don’t know what content you’re writing and I’m not making assumptions at all. But I do want to say that if you write problematic things…you’re going to get a problematic response, and in that case, the negative comments are understood, if not appreciated. I’m not saying this is your case at all, but if it is, that’s an entirely different ask. Going forward, I’ll assume you’re steering clear of those types of fics. Which I hope is the case.

But anyway! Long rant under the cut because I have a lot of strong feelings about this topic. I hope some of it makes sense.

Negative comments are horrible, and they’re made even worse when they’re layered with sarcasm. I myself, do not understand them. An age-old saying for fics is an age-old saying for a reason: if you don’t like a story (you don’t like that ship, you don’t like the route they took, whatever) then don’t read! There’s a back button for a reason. Criticism, I understand as long as it’s constructive. As someone who loves to write and get better at it, nudges here and there (positive ones) are appreciated!! But it has to be constructive. Blind, hateful comments are only meant to wound— not to teach. Not to support. And they’re honestly ridiculous, and I’m very sorry you’ve experienced them so much.

I have yet to experience that in this fandom, actually! (Knock on wood) But when I wrote for Deception, I did receive comments like those. Long, scathing, sarcastic, comments that just went on and on. Tearing my entire story’s premise into little pieces and telling me a work I was very proud of wasn’t worth their time. I even got a comment from someone that just straight up said something along the lines of ‘I’m not going to read this anymore.’ Like…great!? Just do it, don’t tell me! (They hadn’t even reviewed a single chapter before that one either so I was like: Am I Supposed To Miss You Not Reviewing???)

Honestly, they destroyed my confidence as a writer. Those comments are why I hesitate over everything I post now, and they’re the reasons I spend hours researching, when the thing I’m researching for is only mentioned in passing, to make sure there’s nothing anyone can point out or complain about being wrong. I’m very insecure about my writing, too— even my headcanons. From the beginning I was insecure, but that experience stuck in my mind and had made me even more so. But I will try and let you know what helps me.

They say it takes about seven compliments to outweigh something negative, and that’s very true for comments. I would try and focus on the good ones you do have, and read and reread those. Remember a few of your favorites so you have ones to look back on and smile about. Know that you’re doing your best as a fanfic writer and that you don’t owe anyone anything!! You are working your tail off to make free content for no payoff but making other people happy, and that’s amazing!

Find some writer friends! Or just supportive friends in general! I just say a writer friend because they might understand and might be able to help. If you need a writer friend, my inbox is always open c: There’s always the chance you could find a silver lining to their horribleness. You could try and find out the root of the problem they’re complaining about— not to blame yourself but purely just to try and get something out of their comment. If they’re just being nasty to be nasty, though, it’s a difficult thing to do, and oftentimes there’s nothing to be gleaned from it no matter how hard you try. But if you do manage to get something, then it’s not such a waste. Slightly.

Finally, my biggest piece of advice, and my best piece of advice…be kind to them. If you do reply to them and give them the time of day (which is much more than they deserve in the first place and sometimes just deleting it is the better option), be sweet. Be so polite in your reply, because here’s the best thing about it. People too often forget there is another person on the other side of their computer screen— someone real, with feelings that can be hurt just as easily as theirs. It’s just something about the internet that takes away that aspect of interaction. So oftentimes, when you don’t feed into their anger by immediately replying just as much so, it makes them stop and reconsider their actions. And if you’re polite and nice, there’s no way for them to fire back at you or continue to leave such comments without looking completely stupid (even more stupid, anyway). So it’s good on both ends.

And readers, honestly, if you see those types of comments, you can step in and call them out! It would mean so much to any writer to see someone stand up for their work. When you receive a negative comment and nobody speaks out against it, you eventually begin to think it’s an opinion shared by the entire fandom and turn you off of that fandom entirely. So to show support for them is a very big thing. Don’t feel weird. I swear to you, it will make that author’s day.

That’s my long rant! I’m so sorry you’ve been experiencing that and I’m so sorry if none of this helped at all, haha. Negative comments are going to come around once in a while (words cannot express how much I am dreading them) and they’re unfortunately just something we have to work around. It’s not easy, so you should definitely reach out for support if you can find some! Maybe if you told me the specific ways they’re talking down to you or their issues with the content I could fine-tune my reply with a more specific answer. But this is just…a couple tips in general! Reread other, nicer comments. Try your absolute best to figure out some silver lining. Always be kind, because in your heart you understand that what they’re doing is wrong. If you meet them with kindness, you’ll know you’ve kept yourself at the level you already were: above them. If nothing else, at least you’ll have that.

Reviews should be constructive, if they contain criticism. The advice should be hidden in praise for what the author was already doing right, so they know their entire work isn’t ‘wrong.’ But…c’mon. Unless it’s something huge or glaring…fanfic writers don’t get as much response as other people typically in the first place, in most fandoms. If you’re going to hand out anything, just hand out support. Because that’s what you would want to be handed to you, if you were on the other end.  

[avelera]

more body positive stuff, but this time with hermann? he’s always been insecure about how scrawny he is and how bony his limbs are but newt just can’t get over how elegant and beautiful his boyfriend is!!!

Hey there, Anon! I combined your prompt with a second one which I’ll list below the cut. This got kinda long (3k words, sigh) but I hope I hit what you’re looking for!

On the Risks (and Benefits) of Pillow Talk 

Also available on Ao3

Ship: Newt/Hermann

Words: ~3,000

Timeline: Soon after their Drift - I wanted to write the smut scene between them first but eh, unfortunately this is very T/PG-13 rated and the smut scene will come another day :)

Prompt 2: Can you talk a bit more about Hermann’s realization that he has a bit of a thing for more ample bodies? Did he slowly notice that his secret crushes had certain things in common? Did it hit him suddenly during a meeting? Was it something that he had to hide since he was a child? Is it something he’s found adult videos of before deleting his browser history? Enquiring minds want to know the whole story 😉

–

They lay there, panting side by side, nude on the bed, and even if it wasn’t the first time, Hermann still found himself staring up at the ceiling as his heart rate slowed, trying to figure out how this has become his life. How it had actually come to this after years of alternating between furious at Newton to furious at himself for not being able to relinquish the lingering desire he felt since they’re only known each other as a signature at the end of a page. 

Most humiliating had been the desire that would throb at the most inopportune times. Moments when they were in one another’s face, screaming themselves hoarse, when it would suddenly come over Hermann how badly he wanted to have Newton screaming for an entirely different reason and he would scoff and sputter and storm off, only hoping that Newt would take his departure as a reaction to his monument stupidity rather than the truth of Hermann’s own shameful lack of self control.

Thanks to the Drift, he could now see that a loss of self-control would have probably been the best thing he could have done at the time. They could have been shagging one another silly for years.

Newt sighed in contentment and rolled over to press up against Hermann, planting what he suspected were deliberately messy kisses against his shoulder. Newt’s hand swept up and down Hermann’s scrawny, concave chest, down to the sharp jut of his hipbone down to his thin legs. At least Newt’s wasn’t touching the mess of surgical scars on his left hip or the mangled bone beneath it. Not that Newton had ever made any gesture, or even a whisper that he was put off by the scars, but Hermann can’t help but feel…

“God, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” Newt muttered against his skin. “What are these fucking dancer legs, man? I feel like I kidnapped the premier danseur of the fucking Paris Ballet.” Newt lifted Hermann’s good leg at the knee and stroked his hand up and down the calf while laving more kisses against his skin.

Hermann scoffed, “Like you’ve ever attended the ballet.”

“Fuck you, I spent my summers stuck on the opera circuit as a kid, you uncultured swine. I know what I’m about,” Newt said. “Which is why I know this is fucking superb.” Newt crawled up to bracket Hermann on all fours, peppering more kisses against his neck and down to his chest while his hand traced up and down his side. “But what I don’t know is what you’re doing with a slob like me. Must be my dazzling personality.”

Hermann’s eyes fluttered open as he frowned. His mouth went dry every time he saw Newton naked, at the rounded muscles of his arms and the swell of his stomach and his hips and his thighs. Hermann could feel himself stirring even so soon after the last round just thinking about Newton’s body. “Don’t be absurd, I think we both know who would win a theoretical beauty contest, much as it pains me to stroke your ego.”

“Fake compliments? Dr. Gottlieb, I’m all aflutter!” Newt said between kisses, muffling half his words with each peck. “Especially that you would up and lie like a lying liar just to make me feel better.”

Newt’s been happier, far more relaxed since they closed the Breach. Hermann imagined a similar mood was sweeping the world right now. As for himself, dispatching an existential threat on the same night as all of one’s sexual tension had admittedly lifted even his mood. Newton was a bottomless well of delight and exuberance in the bedroom, far more enthusiastic than any of Hermann’s past partners. He’d simply assumed it was the Drift, or Newton’s general attitude of respect towards Hermann’s disability and familiarity with his overall…demeanor. After  five years of working closely together, the man was in all likelihood simply not phased by all of Hermann’s failings, not that it had stopped all of their petty sniping. 

Hermann frowned and pushed himself up on his elbows. “Do not call me a liar,” he said querulously.

“But you are though. Except like a handsome one so I’ll put up with it this time,” Newt said and kissed up to Hermann’s lips, now within reach. Hermann continued to frown and did not return it. “Ok, what is it now? Are you seriously mad at me for having even a trace of modesty? I thought we were still in the honeymoon period.”

“You’re not a…a slob, Newton, unless you were referring to your office organization habits,” Hermann said. “You’re obviously more attractive than I, and either you are teasing me on the matter, which I do not appreciate and quite violates the so-called honeymoon period, or you believe that to be true and I will not permit you to project such a wrong-headed belief onto me.”

“Wait. Wait a minute, are we…” Newt paused, “seriously having a fight about who is hotter right now?”

“We’re not fighting, it’s a statement of fact,” Hermann retorts.

“Oh my god. Ok, just so you know, this is officially the dumbest argument we’ve ever had, and we’ve had some doozies. First of all, what are you, twelve? Second, you hit all the bases for conventionally attractive, borderline supermodel, dude, if you’d just dress like it once in a while. Those cheekbones, those hands, your shoulders,” Newt punctuated each statement by kissing the offending body part, “you’ve got the willowy, Victorian consumptive look down pat. I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re built like a dancer. Probably the only reason you’re with me is the hot girl effect. Y’know when you’re so hot everyone’s intimidated so only the gross, loud-mouthed guy is dumb enough to give it a shot. Eh, that and you’ve gone way out of your way to hide all this. Then there’s your personality, I mean, you might as well just put up a stop sign…”

“Stop it,” Hermann snapped.

Newt’s lip twitched, but he did stop and held up his palm in surrender. “Sorry, man, old habits. I gotta remember one of these days that I don’t have to pull your pigtails to get you to notice me anymore. Not when I’ve already got you in bed by some fucking miracle.”

Hermann’s lips worked as he choked past his fury, “Not about me, you imbecile, you think after five years together in that lab I can’t handle a petty jab? I meant stop putting yourself down when it is so blatantly untrue. The Newton Geiszler I know didn’t need to resort to false self-deprecation when the truth is obvious for anyone to see. This is frankly the worst kind of arrogance.”

Hermann shifted onto his side to face away from Newton, to give himself a moment to cool down if Newton didn’t begin to wheedle for forgiveness immediately and curl up against his back while whispering nonsense endearments like, don’t be like that, baby. Not that Hermann would ever admit to enjoying the pestering.

Instead, the bed shifted as Newt bounded from one side of Hermann to the other. He landed hard on his side and stared intently into Hermann’s eyes like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Hermann recoiled, his lips curled down in displeasure and he moved to shift the other way before Newt’s hand curled around his bicep to stop him. “Hold on a second, I’m a little mixed up here. Which part are you mad at me about, the part where I used to lie about how sexy I was in front of you because I was an insecure piece of shit who enjoyed riling you up, or the part where I thought we were over that now so I’ve started telling it like it is?”

“The part where you know very well which of us drew looks around the Shatterdome and it wasn’t me. If it wasn’t for your obnoxious mouth, I have no doubt you would have had suitors lining up outside our lab,” Hermann groused but softened at the confusion on Newt’s face and sighed. “It’s very kind of you to compliment me like that, Newton. Lord knows, I should simply shut up and enjoy it when you make an effort like that, but I think we both know what we have is more… cerebral. There are few minds that can keep up with yours, or with your nonsense, and that allows you to overlook the fact I’m certainly no catch. As you so generously pointed out, my personality forbids others from getting close, my leg means most either try to ignore me for their own comfort or treat me as if I were made of glass, and even besides that I look as skeletal and undernourished as I have since I was a youth. I simply can’t keep the weight on, let alone muscle. Even without my leg I never would have advanced in the Jaeger Academy for that alone.”

“Wow, that’s…” Newton squinted at Hermann, then did the little head tilt Hermann was familiar with when Newt had decided to try a different avenue of experimentation. “Ok, so what do you think of me? Like, my body? You’ve never really brought it up before and actually I’m realizing that’s kinda weird because you’ve brought up literally every other flaw I have under the sun before today.”

Hermann blushed and couldn’t prevent it. It was easier to look away and he trailed his finger tips down the sheet as he eyed Newton’s tattoos, which he would rather be touching. But no, they were supposed to be having a tiff. “Oh, very well, I’ll play along. It’s not as if it’s a secret that I find you attractive, our activities here should be testament to that, nor that I have for many years. I had to wank off twice before I was in a fit state to leave my room the day I received your polaroid, though I’m sure you saw all that in the Drift.”

Newt made a strangled noise and Hermann glanced up to find him wide-eyed. “No?”

“Nope!” Newt squeaked. His cheeks were pink to match Hermann’s own and that was a boost of confidence enough to keep him going with a secret smile to himself. Fine, he hadn’t given away all his darkest secrets in the Drift, but it was damned inconvenient to have to put words to what should have been the obvious and heretofore very inappropriate fact of his attraction to his lab partner.

“What else is there to say?” Hermann said and shifted in discomfort. “You might as well have been constructed in a lab to vex me personally. Your eyes, your hair, the way you bite your lip on those rare occasions when you stop yourself from speaking, your… your body, it’s…” he coughed, “very attractive.”

“Well, you’d be the fucking first to think so,” Newt muttered under his breath. “Ok, so we’re gonna have to revisit the jerking off to my picture thing, but I gotta ask, in the spirit of scientific inquiry: what the fuck? Why? Assuming you’re not just messing with me, I’d like to hear more about this very attractive thing. Not just for the ego stroke. I’ll take the ego stroke, I’ll take any kind of stroke you wanna give me in about fifteen more minutes, heh, but I gotta admit, dude, this is a little… new for me?”

Any other time, Hermann might have scoffed and rolled his eyes at Newton’s blatant fishing for praise. But there was a hesitance to his words, a puppy-like inquisitiveness in the way he looked up at Hermann’s face. There was no hint of the usual bravado.

Hermann exhaled and allowed his hand to drift over the curve of Newton’s soft stomach, tracing it so he felt the goosebumps pebble on Newton’s skin, obscured by the colorful tattoos. It was soothing to touch and helped calm his nerves enough to speak frankly. “You must understand, this has been a—a closely guarded part of me, I daresay a secret, for so long I’m not even sure I have the words for it. I find your body desirable. My own… has betrayed me again and again. Even before my leg, my father used me as an example to torment my siblings. I’ve always been bony like this, but he saw skinniness as a virtue, as if it were in any way intentional. I know you’re an only child so you perhaps don’t understand the experience of being pitted in competition with your siblings against your will, but I had very few friends. They were all I had and yet everything about me, my intellect, my accomplishments, and as I said my body were used to put distance between us in order to serve as some sort of motivation for their perceived success. But there’s nothing special  in what I am. Even without my leg I’ve never found my appearance terribly attractive. But yours…” 

Hermann shrugged. “You’re beautiful. Unselfconscious, healthy… there, you see? There’s barely a vocabulary in our language that doesn’t sound like backhanded compliments. I find you desirable. I find your arms and your stomach and your legs all the more so for your weight, the way others have been socialized to admire musculature that can only be achieved by a degree of exercise so obsessive it borders on self-harm, or the leanness that comes with self-starvation. I’ve always thought it was as natural as any other attraction, only to be mocked for my tastes whenever I dared express them, or be told that I was acting on a lack of options when nothing could not be further from the truth. When I saw your photo, I was taken aback by how instantaneous the attraction was. I already knew your mind, your personality, and then I discovered you were also handsome and sexually attractive to me as well. It was a deadly combination. By the time I saw you in person, I was so convinced you couldn’t desire me in return, the way I wanted so terribly, that I assumed your flirtations couldn’t be anything but mockery. You of course know the rest.”

“Yeah…” Newt trailed off at the memory of that disastrous first meeting, then grinned. “So, you dig the chub?”

Hermann huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes. “If you must put it in such terms, yes.”

“So is it like a feeding thing or a bursting out of clothes thing…? Don’t look at me like that, man, I’ve been on the internet.”

Hermann hadn’t thought he could blush any harder but he was proven wrong. “No! Not… not necessarily. I know what you mean, I… I won’t say I’m not aware of that subculture, or haven’t found some of their erotica titillating, would you stop snickering?”

“I’m sorry!” Newt gasped. “I should have asked you about porn before, oh my god, if you could see your face right now!”

“I’m trying to answer your question on what is a very difficult subject for me, Newton. Would you do me the courtesy of not mocking me for doing so the way everyone else has?”

Newton’s teeth clicked shut and his eyes widened. He then nodded for Hermann to go on.

Yet Hermann found himself at a loss. “Well, but as I said, it’s merely erotica. Fantasy. I would never encourage a partner to engage in dangerous behavior for my gratification, nor would I want to humiliate them the way much of that art does. I find the very idea abhorrent. But I can’t change what I find attractive and I confess, Newton, it never occurred to me that you were declaring anything but simple truth when you called yourself a stud or a rockstar just to infuriate me.” He offered a weak smile at the last and though he knew Newton, as intimately as it was possible to know another person, a part of him still clenched in anticipation of the inevitable rejection and mockery for baring himself so.

Newt hummed thoughtfully. “I guess that makes me a lucky sonofabitch then, huh?”

Hermann blinked. “That’s it? You don’t mind?”

“Yeah, I totally mind that your particular bone means I’m a sex god to you, it’s a real tragedy. I dunno, it may take some getting used to, the idea I mean, but it’s kinda like hitting the jackpot would take getting used to. You’re not going to turn around and tell me to drop the junk food or start training with the Jaeger pilots one of these days like some of my other, uh, past experiences that didn’t end so great.”

“I might if I feared for your health,” Hermann shrugged. “But for pure aesthetics? No.” He forced himself not to fidget. He still felt utterly exposed to be speaking this frankly.

“Score. ‘Cause I’ve tried, man, none of this is gonna change even if I put myself through hell. I’m just built like this. Which I guess isn’t a problem for you,” Newt added thoughtfully. “Ok, so now that you’ve got that out, will you maybe consider that I also think you’re hot as fuck too?”

“It’s a relationship, Newton, compliments don’t need to be transactional,” Hermann scoffed.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you sometimes. I’m not lying, Hermann! You’re hot! I’m into you, maybe it’s the other side of the whole thing you’ve got in your head, but you’re tall and elegant and… fucking lithe, like I need 19th century poetry to describe you. You’ve got the weirdest mouth I’ve ever seen and I’m so hot for it, like I felt funny just looking at you frowning up at your chalkboard some days. When you smile, your whole face transforms, and I could drown in your eyes if you’re not wearing those stupid granny glasses, and… mmmph!”

Hermann pulled away from kissing Newt to frown at him. “I think we’ve had quite enough of that.”

“You’re blushing! You really can’t handle compliments, huh?”

“Perhaps I’d rather save them up, instead of exhausting you on them all at once,” Hermann said and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, don’t worry, babe, I’m nowhere near exhausted.” Newt grinned.