#i love both takahashi and sakuko

[themthistles]

finally finished koisenu futari

[green-enby]

Heyo! Have you watched Koisenu Futari (恋せぬふたり, Two people who can't fall in love) yet? It's a great series, just 8 episodes long! I binged it in one day :) [smiley]

It focuses on two aromantic asexual people living together. This is a little appreciation post, containing some thoughts that it evoked in me as an aroace.

If you don't want spoilers, please don't read!

It's so relatable how Sakuko keeps blaming herself all throughout the show… Insecurity stemming from societal expectations that dictate romance is for everyone, and that people who don't date are somehow "failing" in life; I think this affects allos as well.

When I broke off my romantic relationship, I too felt like it had been my fault, for not having been a good enough partner, for not being able to love them in the same way they loved me.

To finally learn that you are not "defective", that there's other people like you…! I love how the two MCs don't grieve their lack of attraction; Sakuko is perfectly happy discovering she's aroace. She and Takahashi are living their "best life" together.

Sure, many aroaces do wish they were allo, and that needs to be represented too, but this series to me really shined a light over why they want that: it's because amatonormativity is rampant in the world, not because lacking attraction is inherently sad. The main conflicts in the series stem from the clash between allo society and the aroace experience, after all. I think that's neat! It gave me a good dose of aroace joy—while still showing the hurts that come with it, realistically—and I really needed it.

I didn't expect her to come out to her family so soon, but whoa, that was intense. Her mother's negative reaction is what all people who exclude a-spec people from the LGBTQIA+ community should see, to understand that we face the same issues they do.

I haven't come out to my parents as aroace yet, and watching this made me realize how awful it actually feels to be in the closet. I somehow hadn't realized I am. I've always felt safe coming out to them as other things, as bisexual back in the day, and as trans non-binary.

It might be because my confidence disappeared when they reacted badly both times, but this coming out feels almost impossible.

Comparing it to coming out as bi, it's really not that different: if you're bi, you're promiscuous and date too many people; if you're aroace, you're a prude and cold-hearted. If you break away from the status quo, you're wrong either way.

But at least, most people do eventually understand the bi experience, if they understand same-gender attraction, and fuse it with straightness, even though it's a flawed method.

With aros and aces, instead, it's such an alien concept for an allo, which makes it way harder to come out and have to explain to them how to deconstruct allo-amatonormativity. It's exhausting. Thankfully, there's people like Kazu who are actually willing to learn about us. That gives me hope.

I feel like it's super eye-opening to find out the concept of romance didn't even exist in the past. Pretty sure that in Europe, it originated during the Middle Ages from the ideal of chivalry. So it's really just a social construct, and opting out of it shouldn't be so controversial!

It's just a set of pointless, annoying rules like having to kiss eachother, having to say "I love you", and doing it all a set amount of times, otherwise it's not good enough. What if we don't want to? What if it doesn't come natural to us? If it's just a social construct, fuck it, I'm not adhering to that! We do whatever makes us happy!

Even in the series itself, Sakuko too goes through a heartbreak, even if it's not the romantic kind: she valued her friendship and future cohabitation with Chizuru above all else, but Chizuru abandoned her, because of romantic love. It's not true that aroaces have it easy.

Like our MC, we have to deal with fear that we'll come off flirty when we're just being friendly, confusion over concepts that we feel we should understand, shame over the fact that we're different, fear of loneliness, frustration and pain that we'll always come second to our friends' romantic partners, or even trauma from a relationship or sexual encounter that we didn't really want. I could go on and on.

These last scenes really got to me. Especially the second one… I admit that I cried, when she had to turn her down, and it seemed like her aromanticism had ruined their relationship. It hurts that the way I am could seriously harm someone I care about. It hurts that most people work differently and that they can't help it, and that we can't help it either. I don't like being put in that position, to cause someone a heartbreak. I have with my ex, and had to watch them spiral down… It was horrible.

Still, I wouldn't change my orientation for the world. I'm confident in my identity, I love being aroace.

In the end, we can all reach our full potential, reach a point where we feel fulfilled and that we're living our best life, find ourselves a family if it's what we want, have our dream job and house. Being aroace doesn't condemn us to a life of unhappiness. That's what this series left me with by the end; it gave me so much hope for my future.

(I'm aware I'm coming off as a bit toxically positive here haha, sorry if I'm striking a bad chord; I'm just in a really good period right now, and riding this wave for as long as I can! Hopefully I can rub it off someone else as well.)

That said, I really loved this j-drama, it was funny and relatable and emotional, I wished it had lasted longer! It seems like the author isn't even aroace herself, so I'm amazed at how good the representation was! So much thought and research has gone into it, and it shows; the result is amazing.

Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts about this! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[aromarten]

Can we talk about Kazu? I would like to talk about Kazu.

(putting it under a read more to spare others from a wall of text they may not want to see)

His personality and presence are so extremely important to both Sakuko and Takahashi's individual stories. For Sakuko, he was proof that those who might happen to fall in love with her won't always stop being part of her life when she can't return their feelings. Not everyone that gets close to her before knowing her identity will leave once they find out. He showed anyone could respect her boundaries and who she is if they truly wanted to, and was therefore an example of how nobody had an excuse to not try.

For Takahashi, Kazu was something similar to that last part but with a different impact due to Takahashi's own history. Both the implied parts and what we're told of it. Kazu was the proof that anyone could accept those like Takahashi even if they seemed ignorant or close-minded at first, but he also must have turned out to be such a huge breath of fresh air after the years and years of Takahashi being suffocated by people's amatonormative mindsets and their disinterest in considering his perspective.

Nobody in Takahashi's personal life had ever really listened to him, nobody cared about his thoughts or his knowledge on his own identity. It must've seemed like no one would ever put in the effort to see an aroace's side of things. Then this goofy idiot waltzes in and starts pestering him with a million questions. At the start those questions were rude and invasive, but the important thing was this guy wanted to listen. You can literally see it in Takahashi's face when it first hits him that oh. Kazu does care. He realized Kazu wasn't necessarily trying to force his own way of life onto anyone, he was just confused and desperately wanted to understand someone he cares about. Not only did Kazu want to hear what Takahashi had to say but he even clearly expressed he thought Takahashi was cool and that he valued his knowledge. Eventually Kazu developed the sort of mindset Takahashi had always wished so many of the people from his past could have had. One that says "I may not ever fully understand. But I believe you, and I respect you."

(disclaimer: this post does not condone causing aroaces to fall down stairs, forcing your way into their house to help them while they recover from the resulting injury, or invading their personal space and asking them deeply personal questions for several days for the sake of understanding them. oh but kazu's forgiven though)

[qprsmackdown]

PROPAGANDA (under the readmore):

Kodama and Sakuko

They are both canonically aroace, and the seires is about them becoming "a family without romantic love" so theyre litterally cannon!! I love them so much the way they help eachother grow as people and become happier with themselves and their lives, supporting eacother is fantastic.

They are the definition of found family!! Both are aroace and they complement each other so well.

Izaya and Shizuo

theyre like if tom and jerry were humans and had some weird mental illnesses going on. shizuo just goes around the city dressed as a bartender (he is not a bartender) and throws vending machines and stuff at izaya. (hes got some superhuman strength that he developed because he wanted to throw a fridge at his brother one time and then just. broke some bones or something. and kept trying. to throw really heavy shit. idk.) izaya keeps a head in a jar and it looks very much like a human head but it aint exactly. and he goes on chatrooms on his puter and pretends to be a girl. just to be a little silly. and he clearly enjoys the vending machines and traffic signs and whatever being thrown at him

they have some weird gay rivarly going on. i think the rivarly is queerplatonic.

[alittlebirb]

Rewatched koisenu futari this week with one of my friends and it's just...the rapture on their face. The feeling of being understood and understanding them in a new way and seeing them feel the characters and the story in their heart? It felt transcendent.

This show has the power to lift me away from my day to day struggles, wrap me up in a warm blanket and leave me with the fullness of a satisfying meal. After we finished, having moved from the couch to the dinner table, they thanked me for letting them experience that. It felt powerful, then. That show, those characters, its message, all became something shared.

Something about eating together after watching Takahashi cook for Sakuko. Something about going out tomorrow on my bike and remembering those final words of kindness. Something about the two of us and the two of them.

I never knew I could love this show more than I did watching it the first time around. But now, my joy has multiplied with the knowledge that we both carry that hope within us. In a way, I did what I once wished someone would do for me.

Here. This helped me on my journey. Wherever you go, however you change, remember. This happiness is yours to keep.

[shuubah]

Koisenu Futari Review by a Fellow AroAce

Disclaimer: anybody commenting to tell aros and aces how to feel or their two cents on what’s wrong with us will be blocked right away. 🖤

    2023 has just begun, and the calendar has already changed to the later part of February. It’s that time of the year again. I bet you’re thinking I’m talking about the infamous Valentine’s Day that has already passed 10 days ago. But no, I’m talking about Aromantic Awareness Week that spans from this 19th to 25th February, today. I’m mad amused that it falls in this so-called ‘month of love’. I’ve been awaiting it since last year to finally write a review for the J-drama Koisenu Futari, and I couldn’t ask for a better timing! Oh, love is in the air? I’ve arrived to spray anti-love aerosol! Right about when the others were busy posting in celebration of 14th February, I started writing this in order to make the existences of aros and aces known to more people. Beware of little spoilers here and there in the review. It’s no big deal though, watching the happenings firsthand is more important than the end results for this story.

   Koisenu Futari begins with the fateful encounter of two people who feel neither romantic nor sexual attraction. Kodama Sakuko always feels out of place whenever the topic of romance comes up. It doesn’t help that she’s a grown up woman with a younger sister who’s already married and has a child. Her mother’s continual insistence for her to follow the same path soon makes even the time with her dear family feel oppressive. To make the matters worse, her coworkers harbor the same mindset, with seemingly no place for platonic mingling. Thanks to her job though, she crosses paths with the retail employee Takahashi Satoru, who happens to make an off-handed remark that there’re people in this world who don’t fall in love. It leaves an impression on Sakuko.

   Meanwhile, she plans to share an apartment with her friend and move out of home to escape her mom’s nagging, only to be ditched by the said friend later because apparently she got back with her ex-boyfriend. Frustrated by her inability to fathom people’s fascination with romance, Sakuko searches on the internet about it in the hopes of finding something for better understanding. There, she discovers about aromantic and asexual people for the first time in her life, and feels a connection with the terms. She puts two and two together, speculating that the employee she met in the supermarket just the other day may very well be the one behind the blog post. Filled with excitement to finally stumble upon someone like-minded, she once again appears before Satoru to affirm her conjecture. As they get to discussing about their identities after the confirmation, Sakuko makes a bizarre proposition for the two of them to try living together and see if they can become a family without any romantic feelings involved, much to Satoru’s dismay. He reluctantly agrees when Sakuko manages to persuade him with the problems of both of their current living conditions along with the benefits they both get if she comes to live in his house. And so, the trial for two aroaces to become a family begins.

   As someone who loves hanging around in the online aro and ace communities, and occasionally watches J-dramas, you’d probably expect me to have jumped onto Koisenu Futari as soon as it became available for the international audience. The truth is, I went back and forth for several months before finally sitting down to watch it. Because it revolves around a subject matter that’s very close to my heart and precious to me, I had all the more apprehensions that it might misrepresent us, dance around the concept of being aromantic and asexual without using the specific terms given it’s a Japanese production, and most importantly – an ending that wouldn’t be satisfying for the actual aros and aces. Let’s be honest, it’s difficult to imagine adult aroaces leading happy lives to their likings amidst the busybody culture. I’m usually all for pragmatic conclusions, but it was that one exception when I didn’t want a reality check.

    Now that I’ve finished the full series, did my misgivings hold true? I’m not gonna dillydally and straight-out say it: absolutely… not! However, don’t take this to mean that it’s gonna be a smooth ride. Because from time to time, the turn of events will make you step back and think to yourself, ‘I don’t like this if it’s really going where I think it’s going’ or simply have qualms about how they’re gonna handle a certain predicament. That was the reason why I couldn’t pass a judgment on the show until nearing the end. Several incidents arise in such a short drama, and thankfully every single one of them got an agreeable closure in the end. With the last dilemma of Satoru following his dream versus Sakuko keeping their family together resolved, I must say that I couldn’t ask for a better finale. It’s hands down one of my favorites, the most fulfilling and gratifying ending in a piece of media.

    Speaking of Sakuko and Satoru’s ‘family without romantic feelings involved’, which they like to refer to as “family (subject to change)” for the lack of better words, it can essentially be described as a queerplatonic relationship. I’m not gonna explain what that is for those who got a question mark over their head right now. You can check out this TikTok video that clarifies it better than I ever could in a few sentences (that one time TikTok became accurate and helpful). One thing though, take what I said as more of a headcanon than an absolute truth. Because it took me a while to take a step back and remind myself that a relationship is queerplatonic only when the people involved in it decide to define it as one. Otherwise, it’d be no different than alloromantic people forcibly claiming a non-romantic relationship is “romantic” regardless of the said pair’s negation just to suit their own fancy. But I’m pretty sure the real reason in the case of Koisenu Futari is because the term “queerplatonic” just doesn’t exist in Japanese, and they’re not familiar with this English word either. Yep, that’s one of my initial doubts right there.

    It’s fine though, because the two fundamental and crucial terms are there at least. That’s right, the words “aromantic” and “asexual” have made their way into the Japanese vocabulary! Albeit, they’re said in the Japanesque style. Given how the Japanese people speak English words, I thought the abbreviations – “aro” and “ace” – would be pronounced as “âro” (アロ) and “ēsu” (エース). But they turned out to be “âroma” (アロマ) and “âseku” (アセク) instead, short for “âromanchikku” (アロマンチック) and “âsekusharu” (アセクシャル). Though, â might be the wrong phonetic in these cases. I guess I should’ve known, since Japanese people have this habit of taking English words and shortening them to their liking for convenience. Though, I’ve found that there is one actual Japanese word for asexual, musei (無性). But of course, it pertains to reproduction. And it’s no surprise either that there doesn’t seem to be any word for aromantic. Ah, the temptation I feel to crack the notorious ‘asexuals are plants’ joke right now…

    Ahem! Forget that for now, because I’m about to impart an illuminating piece of information that I picked out thanks to Koisenu Futari. It’s revealed in one episode that in Japan, the very word for “romance” was conceived in the Meiji era (1868-1912), and the values associated with it were nonexistent prior to that. Doesn’t it almost sound like romantic attraction is a concoction of the modern period, similar to how queerphobics complain that aromanticism, asexuality and other queer identities are newfangled fads? When you put it that way without further context, it probably does. To fully understand what this fact actually entails, we need to elaborate on the said Japanese word, “ren’ai” (恋愛). Take this with a grain of salt as I’m not an expert, but from what I’ve gathered so far with my limited knowledge of the Japanese language as well as the culture, renai is more about the whole affair of finding a love interest, getting into a romantic relationship, and engaging in sexual activities than it is about the matter of attraction itself. So, in essence, it’s not opening up a debate as to since when the Japanese people have started feeling romantic attraction, but rather when the idea of pursuing romance came into being in the land. Having played otome games set in the Meiji and the consequent Taishou era (1912-1926), I can tell that taking a lover wasn’t a common practice back then. Sure, those aren’t the most accurate and reliable depiction of history, but when even dating sims can’t play it up, that speaks for itself.

    Looking at Japan isn’t even necessary to recognize the veracity of the bottom line of this. Coming from an Asian country myself, once upon a time, romantic relationships were frowned upon like it was one of the biggest disgraces to ever happen to a family here, if not the biggest one. Nowadays, most families have grown to become more accepting of young adults getting into romantic relationships and marrying a partner of their choice, what with dating becoming more and more of a commonplace. It’d be fine if that was all there was though, but it has reached the point where I went to listen to a popular native podcast of ours around the time of Valentine’s Day, and it started with the anecdote of a high school guy asking around on social media if it was abnormal for him to not have a girlfriend yet, and if he should do something to find someone. The face I was making then was probably a sight to behold, since I instantly turned into a fine real life specimen of the “IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT” meme of Spongebob. That, my reader, is what we call amatonormativity.

    All this fuss about being single isn’t so much about attraction as it’s about compulsively following specific customs just to fit in with everyone else (not saying everyone who desires a romantic relationship is like this), as if we’re all dolls with the same features, manufactured together in a set. If we’re really going with the excuse of loneliness, wouldn’t it mean the humans, living in the olden days when romantic partners weren’t prevalent and corporations didn’t promote Valentine’s Day for the sake of profit, were the loneliest of all? And if it’s because it’s in our nature to want to be loved and cared for, how come many of the present-day surveys and statistics tell us that humans are suffering from loneliness more than ever before as the time goes on, when everyone’s getting into romantic relationships left and right? Doesn’t it seem to say something about today’s attachments and connections that are so sought-after? You’ve probably heard of the saying, “gender is a social construction.” Now if I may, hoping I won’t be skewered and grilled for this, “romance” is a social construction. Emphasis goes to the quotation marks. It makes sense when you learn about all the different kinds of attractions that exist, and how they can be mutually inclusive when it comes to certain actions, varying from person to person.

    I may have gotten somewhat derailed from the review, but it matters not. The focus of it isn’t just on Koisenu Futari being a J-drama, but spreading awareness about aromanticism and asexuality. Besides, I can imagine Satoru nodding in agreement with me and saying the same. Throughout the series, he often talks about amatonormativity with Sakuko and sometimes the others. That was a characteristic absolutely indispensable for him as well as the drama to be so relatable to the aros and aces. Screwing with rubbish societal norms isn’t enough, the need to rant about the dozens of distresses that suck the life outta us day in and day out is at the center of this ordeal. He’s an excellent embodiment of our thoughts and feelings. On the other side, Sakuko finds herself in messes that are the pictures of of our day-to-day troubles.

     The pair’s contrasting personalities also create a great juxtaposition for two aroaces. From my observation, for Sakuko, her aromantic aspect is prevailing to her identity; while for Satoru, it’s his asexuality. Sakuko is amicable, social and cherishes those dear to her. Romantic interests of the others towards her, however, puts her at a loss. Her encounter and conversations with Satoru – who’s the only aroace she personally knows – helps her to gather her thoughts regarding her orientation and get better at dealing with those situations little by little. In turn, living with Sakuko and spending time with those around her gradually alleviates the emptiness in Satoru’s life left by the death of his dearest grandmother. He has always carried around regret in his heart for being unable to confide in the only person close to him about his identity, as well as his incapability to grant her a grandkid when he was her only family. After all, not only is he a sex-repulsed ace, but touch-repulsed altogether. To top it all off, the meddlesome attitudes and comments from his surroundings have him jaded, so much so that he doesn’t even want the understanding of others. When communication fails again and again because people refuse to see things from someone else’s perspective or just accept them as they’re due to their fundamental differences from each other, shutting them off may be the only option left. His no-nonsense, solitary disposition very much resonates with me, although personality-wise, I may or may not appear closer to Sakuko on the outside.

    Setting aside the protagonists, I must bestow the titles of honorable mention and best side character to Matsuoka Kazu. Don’t get your hopes up right away though, because he’s gonna get on your nerves as soon as he gets involved with the plot. He’s the personification of the traits that make aros and aces roll their eyes, being insufferable at times. You’re probably gonna hate him, which you’re supposed to, until you start appreciating his character development. He goes from the greatest menace to the greatest supporter of Sakuko. Not to mention, I couldn’t have discovered the above-mentioned history of “renai” without him, since he’s the reason why Satoru goes off lecturing about it! Honestly, our lives would be much gentler if more of the aphobics could grow to be thoughtful of us like he does. Even Sakuko’s family members come around to a considerable extent. I was touched by her parents’ acceptance of her, albeit one outright and one reluctant. Meanwhile, her sister’s story is a good example of how life’s rhythm can be easily thrown off when it’s mainly build around just a romantic partner.

    Keep in my mind though, this is a Japanese show, so it goes without saying that the narrative is going to follow the style of their dramas. The biggest complaint I hear in regard to J-dramas is that they contain too much of overacting, and I can totally see where it’s coming from. Koisenu Futari though, in my opinion, is the opposite of that. Subtlety is an integral quality of it, not that there is no exaggerated reactions whatsoever. Sakuko and Satoru in particular make these faint yet distinct facial expressions that seem to say more than their words. Their respective stars, Kishii Yukino and Takahashi Issei, were the perfect choices for the roles. Takahashi Issei’s acting especially feels like Satoru’s character was made to be portrayed by him. They even share the same surname and all! I was surprised and delighted to find out he’s the one who voiced Amasawa Seiji, the deuteragonist of Studio Ghibli film Whisper of the Heart. Acting is acting, I guess. As for the supporting cast of Koisenu Futari, the performances that stood out in my eyes were Sakuko’s longtime friend Kadowaki Chizuru, played by Kojima Fujiko, and Sakuko’s father Kodama Hiromi, played by Koichi Mantaro. They left an impression on me.

    In spite of all the praises I’m singing about Koisenu Futari, I still can’t say that I’d absolutely recommend any and every aromantic and asexual person to watch it. This might sound like it came from the left field, but it’s actually for their sake. Because this isn’t as simple as a fantasy show or something where two characters are specified to be aroaces since they couldn’t care less about romance and sex. Rather, it’s a true-to-life depiction of the issues that come with identifying with these labels. The alienation and loneliness resulting from being “different”, falling apart of friendships due to romantic interest of the other party, vexation stemming from the inability to relate and thus empathize with those going through heartbreaks, aphobic belief that aros have it easy just because they don’t have romantic entanglements to worry about, family and societal pressure to get married and have kids, apprehension regarding the future that’ll likely be lonesome otherwise — all these difficulties experienced by aros and/or aces are remarkably brought out. In short, the plot is all about trying to navigate this world full of amatonormativity, heteronormativity and allonormativity. And as much as it feels great to see our representation, such a high level of relatability also means it can be triggering to see the exact same things that distress us in our everyday lives.

   I, for one, was left overwhelmed by the very first episode. Sakuko’s excitement over the initial living arrangement with her friend reflects the deepest desire of my heart that has been there since forever. I’m definitely not the only one; for many aros and/or aces, it’s a situation that’s considered a dream come true. Except the ingrained relationship hierarchy, where romantic partners are put above everyone else, pretty much always turns it into a pipe dream. After finishing that episode, I had to sit in silence for a while, trying hard to contain my emotions. On top of it, what occurs between the two of them later hit too close to home, again. Watching it unfold almost felt like a personal attack, the thought ‘I’m in this drama, and I don’t like it!’ running through my mind all the while. However, I have to admit that the last scene of the drama makes it worth it. The image of Sakuko happily cycling down the road with the most heartfelt, carefree smile on her face screamed freedom to me. Then revisiting the drama in order to write this review aroused the displeasure in me along with the appreciation all over again. It’s really up to how much an individual viewer can take depending on their mental state.

    For alloromantic and allosexual people though, I’d definitely recommend them to complete Koisenu Futari. Not merely because otherwise they’d be missing out on a wonderful show, but mostly because it’s important that they come to see things from aromantic and asexual people’s viewpoint. Of course, for one thing, you can avoid upsetting them and treat them right when you know better. Now, you may ask, what’s the odd of you running into an aro and/or ace when those’re such rare orientations? The thing is, many of us go through an identity crisis at the beginning because we’re never taught about the very existences of aromanticism and asexuality in the first place. It needs to become a common knowledge like homosexuality, bisexuality etc. Even when we do get to know who we are, we still feel the need to keep this intrinsic part of our personality to ourselves because of ignorant people’s hurtful attitude. So, if you’ve already proved yourself to be uncomfortable for the topic, the possibility of you being privy to the fact of someone you know being an aro and/or ace is very low in the first place.

   This obliviousness isn’t harming only aros and aces though, it concerns you, and your near and dear ones, too. Why do I say that? Well, once you step into the world of aromanticism and asexuality, your eyes will open to a whole bunch of problems around us, as well as a whole lot of ways of life. Namely, the clutch that amatonormativity, heteronormativity and allonormativity have on us, and how liberating living can be if you get to defy them. I can’t go into the details of what they mean in this review. You can always search on Google and Tumblr to learn their definitions, etymologies and implications. All I’ll say is that the Four Horsemen (including platonormativity) of the ‘love and sex are what make you human’ bullshit go hand in hand with misogyny, sexism, toxic gender stereotypes, toxic masculinity, domestic violence, colorism, body shaming, ableism and many, many more severe social issues. It’s impossible to escape them so long as you live in the society. So when you really think about it, being aphobic is basically advocating for your own victimization and/or decadence. Although, I suppose something as ridiculous as aphobia prevails at all is because the mere existences of aros and aces challenge the beliefs and learning that alloallo people have nurtured throughout their lifetime. It’s human nature to feel threatened by something they don’t understand. But on the other hand, broadening your worldview with the aromantic and asexual perspectives serves to benefit you regardless of your orientation. Personally speaking, even if I don’t identify as an aroace someday, I’d still be grateful for everything I’ve been taught thanks to it. I wouldn’t exchange this experience and thought process for anything.

   If there’s one flaw of Koisenu Futari though, it has to be its approach of aromanticism and asexuality being largely inadequate. The matters are explored through the two protagonists only, resulting in a limitation as to which facets of the orientations can be introduced to the viewers. There is this one time when Sakuko attends a gathering of aros and aces, but it’s way too short to put enough emphasis on the briefly discussed topics: the spectrums’ independence from each other, and the variation in individual preferences. That’s right, aromantic and asexual are the umbrella terms for two separate spectrums. You must’ve already noticed my continual usage of “and/or” until now, that’s because being a part of one spectrum doesn’t necessarily connote being a part of the other. Both of them also consist of a wide range of microlabels, and those’re contradistinctive at times. I daresay, compared to the entire populace of the rest of the world, I’ve witnessed way more diversity in these tiny communities that’re more or less close to the population of Denmark. A series could cast a dozen of aro and ace characters, but many of the particularities would still end up left out. Given the acute lack of our representation in the media, a complete drama dedicated to us is already an absolute blessing. Even just two characters, who’re gateway to the plain basics, are a great starting point. That’s all well and good, but the problem is that those who aren’t well-informed with the comprehensive nitty-gritties might develop a rigid concept of the identities, and thus question the validity of those of us who don’t fit the mold.

  I’d suggest alloromantic, allosexual and questioning folks to take Koisenu Futari as a stepping-stone to learn about aromanticism and asexuality. Thanks to Kaizen Subs, it’s accessible for the international audience. They did such a fantastic job with the subtitling. I don’t wish to depreciate any fansubbers who pour so much hard work into voluntarily providing English subtitles, but I also can’t deny that I often come across translations that’re far cry from the actual speeches. I was afraid the same might happen to Koisenu Futari, especially due to the lingos in the aro and ace communities that’re foreign to the outsiders. It was an utter relief to discover that it wasn’t the case. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to find somebody else’s style of translating similar to mine for the first time as a translator. Personal reflection aside, this is your cue to watch the drama. Visit this link to download the subtitles. Just rename the files corresponding to the episode file names on your device, and it’ll make the subtitles automatically show up on the videos when you open them, whether it’s on computer or phone. Oh, and where to find the raw episodes? That question’s a no-no in public, but here goes: Đ Ɽ ₳ ₥ ₳ ₵ Ø Ø Ⱡ

  My only sincere request is for people to keep an open mind, about us and about the world. Koisenu Futari’s MyDramaList entry used to have the “naïve female lead” tag before, and that was more than enough infantilization of aroaces. Look at it this way, romantic and/or sexual attractions can be considered ghosts to us. Almost everybody around us claim to be able to see them, those who’re chasing after them. They ask us why we can’t perceive them. It’s because they only ever exist in the tales of others, not in our own realm, at least not without the exact same power. Maybe some of us have barely happened to encounter them at some point, but unsure of whether those’re actual ghosts or some other apparitions. Some can only see them once in a blue moon, under specific conditions. Some adore the idea of ghosts and their stories, regardless of their ability to sense them or the wish to interact with them in person. At any rate, we all belong under the hefty green or purple umbrella, or where they both blend in to take on blue, orange and yellow colors; our very own spaces beneath the rainbow.

  It’s okay if you can’t grasp our hues right away. You can take your time. If it still doesn’t help, that’s okay, too. What’s not okay is dehumanizing or demonizing us. Don’t forget that humans are abusing and destroying each other in the name of love all the time. If you believe it’s a lie or an exaggeration, then open your eyes, strain your ears and take in what’s happening throughout the world. There’re more important things than love, attraction or even comprehension. Remember that consideration, compassion, communication and consent can go a long way to bring about happiness and peace in life. Also, please refrain from shoving “B-but aromantic/asexual people can feel romantic/sexual attraction and/or engage in such activities!” and other bigot commentaries down our throat. That’ll be all from me.

  Happy aromantic awareness week! It’s coming to an end soon, but may the awareness stick around.

Headers' credit: theprideful

“amatanormativity will not save you" flag credit: rjalker

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

Koisenu Futari Ep 1 ( SPOILERS)

Yes, I watched the first episode!!

Wow! It's so good, and silly, I want to continue it. Granted I don't have a lot of exposure to LGBT media like this so I get easily excited, but still.

The humor is pretty good and floats with the lighthearted setting. Honestly being used to Indian TV shows, the subtleties of this Japanese one is surprising at times. No dramatic music ? No music AT ALL in one scene? Woah Bob!!!! Still, I feel the TV show element of it but the way it's understated also goes well with the tone. Must say this is the first Japanese live action TV show I'm watching of this nature, so I'm not entirely familiar to make internal genre comparisons, this is more of first impressions. In general, while it picks up heavy topics, it managed to balance with the light tone and order-of-events-happening. I didn't feel awkward about it even once so far.

Speaking of, WOW, I feel like you can tell whoever wrote this is very sympathetic and sensitive to the community they're trying to show. It just feels natural. And so many things they touched-- the feeling of your peers moving on ahead while you're in crisis about your own life, not feeling like a complete person, the talk about marriage, not wanting to be assumed to be living a life alone, etc....Admittedly I'm not very familiar with the aromantic community either, but from the time I'm in the asexual one( which these characters are as well), I recognize these deep-rooted concerns. I like how they actually show it seriously, Sakuko is feeling there is something fundamentally wrong with her.

And of course...the joy when she finds another person like her!!! 🥲( single tear emoji)

Let me backtrack a bit before we get there. There's a subplot with Sakuko( one of our MCs, a cheery woman who works on the upper rungs of a departmental store) and her high school friend Chizuru. I like how the characterization worked there, with Chizuru. She wasn't an asshole or anything, infact their friendship is so good she is willing to move in with Sakuko in a new apartment. But another life event occurs which unfortunately results in her leaving Sakuko behind with hurt feelings on both sides. I think it's a good example of a situation where life just...happens and things getting messy in a way you didn't think. Also people with good intentions giving them out in the wrong way. It gives a realistic feeling.

I don't want this to be Super Long, actually I start out with a lot of detail usually and then I cut down, that's how I write in my diary and I don't have like a lot of thoughts yet anyway. Just the first episode, everyone.

So I'll cut back to the other guy who is like her. He's an older man, Takahashi, which I'm getting is his last name actually ( but I'll address him as such until Sakuko changes her terms of address cuz I got used to that RN) and he arranges the vegetables in their store. He seems to have an affinity for cabbages and works with them, he's very blunt but quick to apologize as well. I like how both of them seem socially awkward in some way to me X) (X face with smile emote )

He also runs a blog which seems duel general-lifestyle talk and also thoughts about being aroace. Through this, the MCs have a definite meeting outside previous encounters.

Love the distilled kindness in the last scene here. And the setting! A very personable house his looked like, full of trinkets, a bit cramped. The way he said that whatever someone's sexuality is, not wanting to be alone isn't anything selfish. Her asking him if he can be her family without love! She's just so sjjsjsksksk. Genuine. It was sweeter than honey I might say. The teasers for the next episode were cheesy as hell and I'm looking forward to it haaha

Additional thoughts: Sakuko's sense of dress is very cozy. All cardigans and big pants and such.

For some reason the whole episode felt a touch off with the pacing, but maybe that's just me. Episode's gotta end on something to keep you waiting afterall.

[aroaceswagcompetition]

I have some propaganda! Please vote for Sakuko and Takahashi!!! Both of them are from a drama that is about being aroace, the name of the show litteraly translates to 'Two people wgo can't fall in love'

Yes, we all like Death, and he would definitely win if this was a pure swag competition. But this is an aroace swag competition, and the two from Koisenu Futari deserve to win.

.

[kyr-kun-chan]

8 Shows to Get to Know Me

The rules seem pretty simple, just to list 8 shows to get to know me. Some people have explanations and some don't so we'll see.

Thanks for the tag @bengiyo!

There are many shows I wanted to add on this list because I love them so much but this isn't a list of my favorite shows. This is supposed to tell something about me. So I tried to pick the shows that I relate to, was obsessed with, used to watch as a kid or just for the ��� vibes ✨

1. Koisenu Futari

This is one show I relate to the most because I'm aroace. Both Sakuko and Takahashi are aroace and want to live together because they feel lonely by themselves. It's a really great show that just has 2 people figure out how to make their own version of a family in a world where everyone expects you to marry and have children. People like us can feel lost as to what the future might look like because there isn't a path we can follow. Nobody tells us what a happy life might look like if you don't have and don't want a partner so Sakuko and Takahashi are new to this form of family they're trying to create. They want to create something that works for them but nobody around the has similar lives so they have to figure it out all on their own.

2. Bad Buddy

I'm not gay or bi or pan, I'm aroace which means that while I love BL, I don't really relate to it so I didn't want to put many on this list. But Bad Buddy was such a great experience that it deserves a place on this list. This show aired episodes weekly and I love love love everything we did during the week we had to wait for a new episode. People were analyzing Everything from the colors to the dialogue to the music. And I read every single post. Every Friday I would mute the Clown Server on Discord until I could watch the episode. I love how we all talked about the new episode for hours. I would come home and watch the episode and we would still be talking about new points even when I went to bed. Even in the morning I would wake up to new messages. It was amazing.

3. Kieta Hatsukoi / My Love Mix-Up!

A BL that is not often on anyone's favorites list but it is on mine. The leads don't kiss but that doesn't really matter to me because it's a really cute show. It's the way Aoki and Hashimoto have the best friendship and support each other even when they thought they liked the same guy. It's how Ida doesn't understand love and is figuring that out very respectfully. He's really giving Aoki a real chance. He's trying to figure out if he likes Aoki without any moment of internalized homophobia. And also he's demiro in my book and I love him for that.

4. Heartstopper

I love love love the Heartstopper comic. I read it and reread it and rereread it even before the show was even announced. The show itself was everything I hoped for and it was amazing and perfect. I love Isaac of course who is our aroace icon. I'm so glad Alice decided to put him in the group since she had to erase Aled (love you). The second season has apparently big aroace plans for him so excited about that! I love the friendship in this show, they're all so sweet and lovely. I love Nick and Charlie who have such a good, healthy relationship. I love Nick's mom and how she supports her son.

5. Yuri On Ice

Yes we were born to make history! Another show I was obsessed with and I loved the experience of watching it just as much as the anime itself. Just like with Bad Buddy I would be on tumblr reading posts about those freaking rings and the kiss and everyone went crazy over all of that and it was amazing. I still remember watching the preview for episode 10 (I think?) and watching Everyone go crazy over the possibility that the something round and gold could be rings. Or! Would it be a gold medal? We didn't know but we sure as hell had a fun time freaking out about the possibilities.

6. Your Name / Kimi no Na Wa

This one has to be on the list even though it's a movie. I've watched this movie so many times, it's basically my personality. The art and animation is gorgeous, like wow it's so pretty and smooth, I love it. The way Taki and Mitsuha never met but they came to care for each other and care for the lives they lived in each other's bodies. Taki loves Mitsuha's family and wants to do everything in his power to save them. Also can I talk about the music? Radwimps is such a great choice for this movie, they make beautiful music for this kind of music.

7. Natsume Yuujinchou / Natsume's Book of Friends

Another anime I really love. This one has 6 seasons and it's still not enough. I love this show for it's slice of life feel with a supernatural twist. It's a very slow show where not much happens on the surface but every episode has a nice story. It's lovely to see that Natsume warms up to his new family. The first time he has a family that really, truly cares about him and doesn't tell him he's crazy. Only a few anime make me want to read the manga and this is one of them.

8. Avatar The Last Airbender

I used to watch this show as a kid with my dad. We both love it, it's a very beautiful show. It has a clear story overall but also great individual episodes. It has funny moments but also serious ones. It's a bunch of teenagers going on an adventure to save the world, what's not to love? And then there is Zuko with uncle Iroh who have the best redemption arc and some of the best lines in the show. Iconic duo. Anyways, when do I get my magic water powers?

Tagging @onstoryladders and @gilly-bean and @inazumaelle if you haven't done it yet. And anyone who wants to!

[kyanitedragon]

Takahashi's Asexual Questionnaire Translated:

I'm a beginner learning Japanese, but I wanted to try my hand at translating the asexual questionnaire using the resources I have.

I have the screenshots above and the japanese text below if anyone else wants to give translating it a shot as well!

アセクシュアルに関するアンケート調査

アセクシュアルに関するアンケート調査

Questionnaire Survey on Asexuality

※回答は答えられるもののみで構です。

*Only the responses that can be answered are required.

1.自分に恋愛感情があると思いますか。

Do you think you have romantic feelings?

思う。I think so.

やや思う。A little, I think.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまり思わない。Not very much, I think.

思わない。I don’t think so. (Both Takahashi & Sakuko's selection)

2.特定の人と「付き合いたい」と思う(思った)ことはありますか。

Have you ever wanted to (or thought about) "dating" a specific person?

ある。I have.

ややある。I have a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Both Takahashi & Sakuko's selection)

3.特定の人を「独占したい」と思う(思った)ことはありますか。

Have you ever wanted to (or thought about) "monopolizing" a particular person?

ある。I have.

ややある。I have a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much. (Both Takahashi & Sakuko's selection)

ない。No.

4.他の人を性的な意味で魅力的だと感じたことはありますか。

Have you ever found others sexually attractive?

ある。I have.

ややある。I have a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Both Takahashi & Sakuko's selection)

5.恋愛感情を向けられることに嫌悪感はありますか。

Do you have a dislike for romantic feelings directed at you?

ある。I do. (Takahashi's selection)

ややある。I do a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Sakuko's selection)

6.他の人に触れることに嫌悪感はありますか。

Do you hate touching other people?

ある。I do. (Takahashi's selection)

ややある。I do a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Sakuko's selection)

7.他の人に自身の恋愛的な話を尋ねられることに嫌悪感がありますか。

Do you hate being asked about your love story by others?

ある。I do. (Takahashi's selection)

ややある。I do a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Sakuko's selection)

8.他の人に自身の性的な話を尋ねられることに嫌悪感がありますか。

Do you hate being asked about your sexual story by others?

ある。I do. (Takahashi's selection)

ややある。I do a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Sakuko's selection)

9.他の人の恋愛的な話を聞くことに嫌悪感がありますか。

Do you hate listening to other people's romantic stories?

ある。I do.

ややある。I do a little. (Takahashi's selection)

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Sakuko's selection)

10.他の人の性的な話を聞くことに嫌悪感がありますか。

Do you hate listening to other people's sexual stories?

ある。I do. (Takahashi's selection)

ややある。I do a little.

どちらでもない。Neither.

あまりない。Not much.

ない。No. (Sakuko's selection)

13.他の人と一緒に住みたいと思いますか。

Do you want to live with other people?

思う。I think so.

やや思う。A little, I think.

どちらでもない。Neither. (Takahashi's Answer)

あまり思わない。Not very much, I think.

思わない。I don’t think so.

14. 今まで恋人、またはパートナーがいたことはありますか。ある場合は人数をお書きください。(自由回答)

Have you ever had a lover or partner? If so, please write down the number of people. (Free answer)

Takahashi’s Answer: [Corrected by @ordon-princess in the notes!]

一人（世間的なお付き合いに該当するか疑問がある)

1 Person (I have my doubts on whether this counts as dating by society's standards)

15. 問14で「ある」と答えた方に伺います。その際、相手との人間関係。で、自分のセクシュアリティにまつわるトラブルはありましたか、もしよければ詳しくお書きください。(自由回答)

If you answered "yes" in Q14, I would like to ask. At that time, with the other party, did you have any trouble with your sexuality? Please write in detail if you like. (Free answer)

[@ordon-princess adds: "the word 'trouble' here has more of a connotation of an incident or trauma, rather than just general "trouble with your sexuality".]

Takahashi’s Answer:

ある。

I have.

[Offscreen]トは以上です。ご協力ありがとうございました。

That's all. Thank you for your cooperation.

[ober-affen-geil]

For @tvarchive‘s TV Appreciation Week Day 1: the TV show I wish everyone would watch

Koisenu Futari | Two People Who Can’t Fall In Love

A really great J-Drama from 2022, this show is about two aroace characters who meet and for a “family” of their own making. It’s not only truly wonderful aro and ace representation, it’s also about found family, breaking amatonormative and heteronormative cultural norms, the importance of friendships, and finding happiness in your life as is. 8 episodes at 30 minutes apiece, Koisenu Futari is well worth a watch for everyone. (Subtitling and translation by KaizenSubs on Twitter.)

[Begin image description

8 gifs from the J-Drama Koisenu Futari, arranged in four rows of two.

Row 1 Gif 1: Kodama Sakuko in her family’s house. She is clearly emotional, and is speaking to her family who is out of shot. The caption reads “I recently came to realize I might be an aromantic asexual.”

Row 1 Gif 2: Outside in a park, Kodama Sakura is sitting on a bench speaking to her daughter, Sakuko. She is thoughtful and hesitant. The caption reads “But I think this too, that it’s okay if you choose a life without love.”

Row 2 Gif 1: Outside at a beach, Kodama Sakuko and her friend Kadowaki Chizuru are facing each other. As Sakuko watches, Chizuru slowly folds in on herself and crouches down, trying to control her emotions.

Row 2 Gif 2: On a grassy hill outside on a sunny day, Kodama Sakuko is talking to Matsuoka Kazu, her coworker and former partner. The caption reads “I don’t want you to force yourself or hold yourself back.”

Row 3 Gif 1: Takahashi Satoru’s house on the upper floor, his bedroom. He is seated at his desk with a pillowcase he is repairing in his lap, speaking thoughtfully to himself, but directed at Kodama Sakuko while she kneels in the doorway (out of shot). The caption reads “I had forgotten the feeling of being protected by someone.”

Row 3 Gif 2: Takahashi Satoru is lying on a mat in his bedroom, his arm in a sling. He speaks facing the ceiling, but he is talking to Matsuoka Kazu who is out of shot. The caption reads “Please don’t push your idea of normal on us.”

Row 4 Gif 1: Two different locations outside, cutting between Kodama Sakuko and Takahashi Satoru as they both look happily and hopefully up at the sky. The caption reads “The form our relationship has taken is satisfying.”

Row 4 Gif 2: Takahashi Satoru in his kitchen, looking at Kodama Sakuko standing in the doorway (back to the camera). He is holding up two crabs he is preparing for a meal, showing them to Sakuko. He bounces the larger one in his right hand slightly, causing the legs to bounce too, and begins to smile in response to Sakuko’s delight.

End image description]

[dengswei]

i don't know if it was done on purpose or not but the sun going in & sakuko being clouded in darkness for a moment as sakuko almost begs chizuru to remain friends with her even though she knows chizuru's romantic feelings for her really just symbolises how a lot of aroaces lose those closest to them because they can't reciprocrate those feelings romantically, that even though sakuko loves chizuru so much platonically it won't ever be enough and it's heartbreaking.

you can understand and see it from both sides, you can see why chizuru made this decision to leave and you can understand it but you also can't at the same time so it also hurts because it reminds you that you as you are will never be enough for some people, that unrequited love sometimes will break you apart from those you're closest to even if it's not what you want. sometimes you have to respect the wishes of the other person and lose them from your life whether it be for a short time or forever so that they can deal with those romantic feelings for you and overcome them. because in the end you want what's best for that person, because you know it can never be you. so you put them before yourself and your own feelings.

and this is where takahashi comes in. this is someone who understands her on that level, who won't leave her because of that reason, who can probably resonate with her and help her through that loss because platonic breakups can hurt just as much as unrequited love and romantic breakups.

[moonlightfilly]

I love how sincerely Kazu-kun wants to know more about how aroaces live. He’s working hard to understand, and that effort has been noticed by both Takahashi and Sakuko

[qprsmackdown]

PROPAGANDA (under the readmore):

Kimiko and Frenchie

THEY ARE THE MOST QUEERPLATONIC PARTNERS OF ALL TIME. they kissed Once and were like. Naahhh NAHHH This Isnt Us . theyre perfect and they protect and love each other. kimiko literally gets back her powers that she loathed before because she reclaimed the circumstances and changed it. she uses her powers to protect frenchie. frenchie loves and cares for her. they balance each other and support each other. frenchie literally learns HER SPECIFIC LANGUAGE that she and her brother INVENTED for each other to speak to her. they would do anything for each other. my god. theyre so romantic in the most platonic way possible. literally. peak qpr. it doesnt get better than this. canon fucking qpr.

ok i dont like this show i actually think it sucks but frenchie and kimikos relationship is the one redeeming part of it. iirc they kissed once and then immediately went "yeah no that was weird. we're closer than that." shes mute and they use sign language to communicate. hes constantly defending her even after she like betrayed and maimed the entire group because she wanted to see her brother again. the musical episode. you know

Kodama and Takahashi

They are both canonically aroace, and the seires is about them becoming "a family without romantic love" so theyre litterally cannon!! I love them so much the way they help eachother grow as people and become happier with themselves and their lives, supporting eacother is fantastic.

They are the definition of found family!! Both are aroace and they complement each other so well.

[rapbits]

koisenu futari spoilers up to episode 3 //

i binge-watched what’s available, near tears because it’s so so satisfying how the producers/scriptwriters expressed not-so-common, yet still relatable experiences.

sakuko finds joy in insignificant things - like sharing unusual names - because it’s connection! HUMAN CONNECTION is fun and warm and nice!

in other media, someone like her would be seen as dense. how does she not see approaches as romantic openings? romantic availability? but when you don’t experience or live what everyone else does under amatonormativity, how does one even realize that which does not exist? it's nearly impossible without an anxiety attached to awareness! she's been free without it.

sakuko clings to a recognition of her mundane like a recognition of her humanity. i see myself expressed and feel this might be common with aroaces. the guilt and confusion when someone holds expectations of tomorrow for something you felt real right now. i don’t have the proper words to convey the feeling but when it’s your fault for being silly and thinking alone that this was normal. it’s you that’s abnormal if the majority is right.

takahashi is already aware of himself, highly aware of the societal rules and pressures, that he’s a MaleTM being out late with a FemaleTM in episode 1 - what this says, where should they go, his house communicates a statement. but sakuko! she thinks he’s like her, so of course she’ll go to this safe place! his castle! a place where he belongs, so she’ll belong too!

she tells him, “your words saved me,” in the scene where her character is processing what she's even saying for the first time. she makes pauses, speaks slow, realizing the depth of her own loneliness. the music here didn’t sound sad to me; it felt intuitively comforting. it's not supposed to illicit a depression but express a truth. this is a very special moment for her. a sense of belonging, safety, acceptance.

it’s incredible. as characters, they both feel real, and it goes a long way for a show conveying such deep themes of companionship, identity and family... when he responds that she’s NOT selfish, it’s everything. coming from him is what’s impactful. more sincerity.

the sounds and visuals expressing sensory have been beautiful. ringing silence or a slow stillness, zooming into faces or hands.

the pretend lovers trope not lasting long was handled correctly considering everything. how sakuko ended it by confronting her family for the first time, no longer smiling in silence when something bothers her. it was a sort of protective strength that came from seeing takahashi being pressured, as if he were an extension of herself that made her finally see the situation for what it was: a buildup of hidden feelings and rude words she could no longer allow.

also, perhaps unintentional, but they respectively wore blue and pink in this scene... reflecting roles they could no longer play typically or as expected in this charade.

episode 3 diving deeper into sakuko’s self realizations, with takahashi allowing himself to share parts of himself, feels so!! there’s beauty in this drama we don’t often get. their conversations feel like the two sides of my brain communicating- it’s honestly quite shocking, but exciting. i love it, just love.

[alltheoutsinfreeeee]

Koisenu Futari Ep 8 Thoughts

I finally, finally watched episode 8. I was so scared of... I don’t even know what. Of the writers somehow still messing up? Of the emotions? Of it ending? Of the ‘family (subject to change)’ coming to an end? And that fear had me procrastinate and avoid the final episode.

And now that I’ve watched it? Well...

Maybe it’s just the fact that I watched it at like 1am but I’m an emotional mess. But in a good way! I don’t regret watching it! Gonna go into detail (and some ranting) here, so I’ll put the spoilers under the cut.

First things first, do I think Sakuko’s mom and her boss changed their tune a bit too fast to be believable? The boss, absolutely. The mom, not as much. She had since episode 2 to think her opinions over. And I actually appreciate the fact that she was honest with Sakuko and told her that she still thinks she should get married and all that. Humans are complicated after all and opinions don’t change all that easily. But other things may take precedence to those opinions, and I’m glad her mother realised that Sakuko’s happiness is more important than her conservative worldview in the long run.

I like how Sakuko and Kazu stayed friends, and how Kazu didn’t try to make her thanking him into another try to win her over. And how Kazu wanted to correct the misunderstanding before their boss cut in! Kazu is a good ally to have.

The scene where Sakuko and Takahashi finally properly talk it over is so good. They are both open with their opinions and I love how they both have come to appreciate what they’ve built -- Takahashi even to the point of being scared to lose that! But that wasn’t all that held him back in the end. In his own words, he wanted to ‘protect [his grandmother’s] house’ and that’s a noble thing to want to do. To protect something that a lost loved one cherished, to protect the vessel of the good memories you’ve shared with that person.

But in a way that kept him chained to that home. In the end, he still looked for excuses to not follow his dream, to stay. And when Sakuko shot all of them down, he still needed to ask permission, as if the want to put the past behind you was a bad thing, as if his grandmother wouldn’t want him to try to pursue his happiness. The tearing up, the expressions, Takahashi’s frailty in that moment hit me like a truck. I really just wanted to hug him (not that I would, gotta stay respectful to boundaries!)

And the fact that he hadn’t even thought of moving out while Sakuko stayed? Hunny, sweetie... 😭

Another thing I like about the resolution scene was how this time it was Sakuko who helped Takahashi. Of course she already helped him multiple times throughout the show, but this was a BIG thing with lasting changes attached to it. Usually it was Takahashi who taught her some life wisdom, but this was her turn. And she pushed him to what he really wants to do, gently and quietly. And most of all, respectfully. She doesn’t make fun of his fears, of how he hadn’t even thought about the, to her, obvious solution.

And what she said in the end... It’s true. Moving out or otherwise parting with someone important to you doesn’t mean your relationship has to change. If things don’t work out you can always discuss it then. And if in the end you do find yourselves growing apart, then that happens and you shouldn’t try to force it to last. But those things are hypotheticals for the future, they shouldn’t hold you back in the present or stop you from doing what you want to.

This show was really good, y’all. I’m still feeling a bit bittersweet about it ending. It was only 8 episodes and also in my life for less than a few months but it feels like a show that’s been with me for decades now. It feels like parting with a good friend, but it’s not all bad. After all, I can always come and visit.

How Sakuko said: The only one who decides your happiness is you. And how Chai sang in the title song: Find your happiness. Be kind to yourself.