#i love meta having an actual physical effect on the story!!!!!!!!

[collabwithmyself]

good evening i accidentally created a character while talking about what would happen in a universe where hito didn't exist, and clavicle as a unit got so attached to this what-if that said what-if is now a canonical character anon recycled from a doomed timeline and plunked into concert (the bellementum community jackie grew up in and nori is currently living in). yuki has amnesia and is under the assumption it's from the weird magic that keeps outsiders from remembering concert. yuki thinks any memories returning is the magic wearing off, but it is literally anon crafting a backstory for this person bit by bit. xyr first character that's truly xyrs, not the artisan's, and xe doesn't know what to do with said character.

[linkspooky]

Would you ever do a Fukuchi meta? I'd love to read your thoughts on him and his role in the story.

Fukuchi is an interesting character in the fact that he is not what anyone expects him to be, and he never does what's expected of him. I feel like he doesn't get discussed a lot, for many reasons, one being he's the reason this arc is dragging, the second he's an antagonist who's not a pretty anime boy, he's also kind of soaked up screentime from DOS who all indications point to is the longterm more important antagonist. However there's still a lot going on with his character, the hunting dogs may be late additions to the story and their arc may have like cannibalized the whole narrative but they're still fantastic characters in their own right.

1. The Two Fukus

So Fukuichi's character really starts when he is revealed to be Kamui, turning him from what was a pretty shallow foil for Fukuzawa, an old buddy and wise mentor type just on the hunting dogs not the detective agency into the prime antagonist of the arc. I call this plot twist, the surprise twist that is not really a surprise. After all despite Dos being effectively billed as the main villain of the decay of angels, and Sigma and Goggol being his instruments he has been effectively in prison the whole arc. It is the hunting dogs who have dogged the detective agency every step of the way.

A lot of what makes Fukuichi's character and the hound dogs as a whole so meta-textually interesting is the way he plays with all of these expectations. After all, why would we expect anyone other than Fukuichi to be the main villain of the arc? The antagonist has always been the hunting dogs. They've been shown to be both brutal and relentless. They have amoral members like Jouno and Teruko who are perfectly willing to employ torture both psychological and physical to their enemies. Jouno even admits that he enjoys it, and he doesn't even particularly care if the person he's hunting is innocent or not because it's not his job to sort out who is innocent and guilty it's his job to just hunt down whoever he's pointed at to the best of his ability.

Yet it's surprising as a reader that the leader of the Hunting Dogs is the main antagonist of the arc, and the one responsible for framing the detective agency in the first place? And why is that?

Perhaps, because the natural assumption is that because the Hunting Dogs are working with the government, instead of say outright criminals like the Port Mafia that they must have some honorable reason for what they are doing. They are recognized by the government and given that position of privilege and power so therefore their government approved justice must be the right justice.

In the way we ignore basically every sign that the Hunting Dogs are corrupt and a perversion of justice because they have government backing, we also tend to just assume governments themselves are by default good because they create and maintain laws.

We assume because the government is just, that the framing of the Detective Agency is just a misunderstanding, or a malicious manipulation by Fyodor to hurt our heroes. That once the framing of the detective agency is cleared up then of course everything will go back to normal, because the problem is not how the Hunting Dog relentlessly pursue their targets and their perverted wielding of justice, it's just they've got the wrong guys. If they were to pursue actually guilty people with those same methods than that's totally okay. Which is why for the vast majority of this arc, the Detective Agency only cares about clearing their names assuming naturally this will solve all problems.

This all comes to a head of course when it's revealed, not only does Fukuichi already know that the detective agency is innocent, he is the one who framed them to move his agenda forward. Fukuichi is in an instant changed from what looked to be the most honorable and reasonable of the hunting dogs, to traitor despite being close friend and personal foil of Fukuzawa himself the moral backbone fo the detective agency.

And I think a lot about what is interesting about Fukuichi's character is the subversion of what he represents. Fukuzawa is a trustworthy authority figure, he's also a character who is steeped in traditionalism, and a character of the older generation. We trust him because we are told to trust our elders and believe the previous gen has our best interests in mind. Despite the fact that children are pretty regularly exploited in Bungou Stray Dogs, and we have tales of horrible poverty and abuse in many of the younger generations backstories we still believe that older generation and organizations like the government are keeping the peace and doing the best they can.

The world of BSD as shown to us if anything is one that has the thin veneer of peace and order, and yet is clearly ravaged not only by a terrible war in recent history, but also suffers from extreme proverty and unrest in areas, not to mention crime so bad it requires leaving an organization that deals in human trafficking, organ harvesting, drug trading on the regular like the port mafia in power because it acts like a crime deterrent. Fukuichi convinces the world's assembled governing bodies that the world itself teetering on the brink of chaos is this way because of "terrorists" of a few bad eggs like dostoevsky and his ilk, and not just a natural result of what seems to be a really shoddy governmental system that's bad at keeping the peace.

And we're given a pretty obvious reason as to why the government as depicted in Bungou Stray Dogs is so poorly constructed to begin with, and it's because rather than using you know, social programs, taxes, services for the public good like governments are supposed to do the government instead focuses on fighting enemies and maintaining order not only through an iron fist but also through the empowerment of a select few powerful individuals. This is something really made worse by ability users, of cousre in a world where superpowered individuals exist one of the government's main way of enforcing its power is by supersoldiers. It seems obvious if you think about it.

So Fukuichi's character if anything reads to me as a criticism not only of the blind faith the citizens and even the good guys like the detective agency have in a government that has so clearly failed its population as an institution, but also the readers as well and our tendency to trust governments and institutions like the police and the military even when they've pretty obviously failed or abused their position. And why? Well, one of the biggest reasons is because people are tempted to simplify what is a messy reality into a black and white conflict between heroes and villains. It all starts with a character we naturally assume to be a good person, a war hero, a person who wields justice in the name of law and order turning out to be a selfish manipulator.

The subversion around Fukuichi's character only builds from there. First, Atsushi having main character privilege and plot armor there's never really been a character that's able to stand up to the tiger before. Atsushi won the super power lottery, he has super healing, on top of one of the naturally strongest abilities even though he's not actually that good of a fighter. The first thing we're shown is Atsushi is absolutely useless in a fight against Fukuichi.Main character privilege doesn't apply anymore. Atsushi's not the hero anymore, in fact in one perspective he is fighting a hero who has saved the world several times on a scale Atsushi as a teenage boy doesn't really udnerstand.

The first thing Fukuichi does is cut Atsushi's leg off and order him to stand, because the pain he's facing right now is absolutely nothing compared to what Fukuichi has been through. Atsushi's not facing off against someone with a powerful ability, but a seasoned hero who far outstrips his combat experience in every step of the word. After which point he imediately paralyzes Atsushi with fear and cuts off his plucky hero attitude.

Fukuichi is unique among all of Bungou Stray Dogs antagonist in how genuine a threat he is. Nothing the heroes throw at him works. Dazai's near omniscient planning ability fails. The Shin Soukoku combination which has always beaten any enemy that it was up against before not only doesn't win the fight, but all they can manage to do is flee in shame after sacrificing Akutagawa's life.

Fukuichi doesn't really conform to any narrative expectation of him at all. After all he was the antaagonist who showed up at the end of the arc, he was supposed to be put down by the Soukoku combination like a final boss and after they retrieved the page from him, the detective agency would be proven innocent and then everything would reset to status quo like it did after Fitzgerald and the Cannibalism arc. But... thats not what happened. Not only does he subvert the expectations of the narrative, but the characters themselves keep trying to make Fukuichi conform to a more easy to understand character. After all one of the first thing Atsushi shouts at him is that he must have suffered from a tragic backstory during the war time that is responsible for his fall.

We learn right away he did experience the horrors of war, but he wasn't the victim in that case, he was the crimminal who committed war crimes. He's tormented not by actions done to him, but rather actions he did to others.

Fukuichi makes it clear to Atsushi the much harder to digest idea, that it was the needs of the government itself and the "greater good" that even the detective agency is supposedly fighting for that required him to be a monster. Something that Atsushi immediately rebuffs and simply labels him as an evil to be stopped.

Which is interesting because the Hunting Dogs have always been about doing evil in order to pursue absolute justice. But once again, we as the audience misinterpret this to mean well they're only being cruel and ruthless on people who are crimminals and therefore deserve it. We miss out on the really obvious fact that if they're willing to act this inhumane with crimminals, then really how far away are they from practicing that same cruelty on completely innocent people.

Fukuichi then goes on to express a very budhist idea.

The eight worldly concerns or eight worldly dharmas (Skt. aṣṭalokadharma; P. aṭṭhalokadhamma; T. འཇིག་རྟེན་ཆོས་བརྒྱད་, ‘jig rten chos brgyad) are a set of worldly or mundane concerns that generally motivate the actions of ordinary beings.[1] They are:

hope for pleasure and fear of pain,

hope for gain and fear of loss,

hope for praise and fear of blame,

hope for good reputation and fear of bad reputation.

Preoccupation with these worldly concerns is said to be an obstacle to genuine spiritual practice.

Basically budhism elaborates on the concept that the reason evil or misfortune exists in the world on such a grand scale is because it is perpetuated by everyone, normal, average people are so preoccupied by normal every day concerns that they don't spend their lives living in pursuit of justice or the right thing.

Which is essentially the concept that Fukuichi's entire character revolves around, because most normal people don't pursue justice, because the vast majority of people are weak, because they do what is easy rather than what's right they force the burden on heroes like Fukuichi. People rely on narratives of heroes, of good and evil, because they don't want to face the very mundane corruption of the world around them. Fukuchi is a monster and a tyrant but he's also someone who has been forced into that role, because both he, and everyone around him had to sacrifice their humanity for the sake of the so called "Common Good". Fukuichi's suffering is extremely profound, even as he freely hurts others and betrays close friends and allies. He mentions to himself that his own existence is so painful, he'd rather have been nothing and not have been born in the first place. He doesn't even seem to want to be doing the things he is doing, but continues on out of necessity.

Fukuichi's methods are selfish manipulation and cruel betrayal of his own allies the moment they call his actions into question and stand up against him, and yet he seems to carry it out for entirely selfless reasons. Fukuichi himself remarks on his actions not like they're enjoyable, but they are necessary suffering he must inflict on others and the world, like they are karma, fate, like justice isn't just an idea but rather an inevitable force like gravity.

He is not only made into a human greater than all of humanity by the needs of both government and the common man, he also makes himself into a superior human being in order to strike back against those things.

The subversion of expectations continues and continues. Fukuichi claims he does everything for the sake of his own allies, and then procees to butcher said allies as he seizes control. He claims to be anti-government, but his goals from what Ranpo can suss out from them are sheer world domination. He acts like an anarachist, but his method seems to be making himself dictator of the world.

The main draw of Fukuichi's character is that he is pretty impossible to pin down, which is exactly why his motivation despite being the focus of chapters upon chapters worth of scrutiny also hasn't been revealed to us yet. He gets even more screentime and focus then Dotsoevsky as of late, and yet he's just as mysterious to the audience. He doesn't conform to the shallow ideas of heroism and justice carried by characters like Atsushi who like to play hero, hence why Teruko gets extremely angry when Atsushi tries to convince her the one hunting dog who remained loyal without being manipulated to change sides with mere pretty words.

In the most recent chapters we are shown again two people desperately trying to fit Fukuichi into a narrative, the first being the government official who wants an easy solution, that Fukuichi is still a hero and his extreme actions are secretly a way of saving the world. The second being Fukuzawa who believes his old friend only wants selfish revenge for him and his comrades. Only for both of them to turn out to be wrong with their very black and white answers.

It's the desire for easy narratives in the first place, that create people like Fukuichi and allow him to manipulate people so easily. Interesting when you consider the origin of Fukuichi's name and his connection to Fukuzawa, an author whose main goal in life was to educate the masses and make the common people able to read and understand the current events in the newspaper.

It's the weakness of the common man that has created someone like Fukuichi by requiring him to be superhuman, and yet at the same time that seems to be his greatest weakness as well.

Fukuichi was created out on the battlefield, he was no one before that point, and he's also so self loathing he desires to just not exist. So, the perspective he's completely seperated from is that of an average, ordinary person, which is why even up until now he hasn't been able to find one simple girl running away with Dracula's head. That is what is likely going to be his undoing as well, not a defeat handed to him by a hero, but rather an ordinary and average human stopping him.

Which I believe will fulfill Fukuichi's goals and wishes in a way, even if it's not the extreme reforms of the world he wished for, he is still someone who desperately wants the burden of heroism to be lifted from him. It's not just politicians who send soldiers to war, but also the average people who live far away from that conflict and yet support the jingoistic and nationalist attitudes of the country they inhabit. So what can better prevent those same wars, then average people stepping up in gerater numbers in the place of heroes.

[carsonian]

Cap-IM Rec Week: It's About the Yearning Tuesday

@cap-ironman, happy Tuesday:

"take my heart clean apart" by mistymountainking (@stovetuna)

He’s tired, so tired of waiting, tired of touches with no meaning, tired of holding his breath when Steve’s in the room, tired of keeping this love to himself. “I can’t—I can’t, if you don’t mean it.” Tony comes home exhausted after an SI event. Steve acts as welcoming committee. It's an old, careworn routine they've perfected over the years, but tonight ends up going in a very different direction.

Perhaps the strongest debut in the fandom. Like the rookie player that trots on and has all the commentators going, "wait, how old's this fucking kid?" Genuinely had me rocking back and forth the first time I read it, it's that motherfucking good.

"and so we rebuild" by raeldaza

Sometimes, a voice whispers: you will never atone for your mistakes. Tony believes that, believes it so strongly some days he drowns in it, but he still tries. Tries through Starfleet, tries through inventions, tries through missions. Then, one day, he meets his new Captain, and things change.

Steve's yearning in this is so palpable that it makes for its own story, not-so-subtly putting its footprints down in the background. This fic is THE happy meal; world-building = BLISS, characterisations = JOY, pining = ECSTACY, resolution = DELICIOUS. It even has a cherry (nudge nudge spoiler spoiler) on top.

"Like How Your Heart Works" by ishipallthings and zappedbysnow (@ishipallthings, @snowzapped)

“I don’t mind waiting for my first kiss. I just hope that when it happens, it’ll be important. And I want it to be with someone who really wants my first kiss too.” (Or: the one where Tony is pining, Steve takes the long way around to realizing he’s in love, and there’s clothes sharing.)

What's better than mutual pining? AVAC mutual pining! Duh. This one's toothwrenchingly diabetic and utterly sincere; it'll give you cavities. The gorgeous fanart is the loveliest bonus. Honestly melts my heart to look at. Listen. I know what I'm about, and this fic is EXACTLY what I'm about.

"Hating Steve Rogers" by nanasekei (@elcorhamletlive)

The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.

Tonyyyyy girllll your crush is showing babie!!! Stop twirling your hair and kicking up your feet!!! We getttt it. You "hate" him sooooo much, omg you just wanna eat him right up!!! ...unironically brilliant Steve Rogers meta.

"The Ghosts of War" by scifigrl47 (@scifigrl47)

(For the Cap/Iron Man Big Bang 2014) Steven Rogers never wanted to be king, but he knows his duty, and he does it well. Lord Tony Stark, the king's appointed consort, does his duty as well, even though he'd enjoy his duty more if it actually involved sleeping with the king. As it doesn't, he's just resigned. The war that made Steve king and cost him nearly everything may be over, but a meeting of old enemies might stir up some ghosts none of them are prepared for.

OG yearning and misunderstandings fic. The big behemoth daddy long legs of getting your wires crossed. I will forever laugh n slap my leg at Steve's histrionics over T’Challa "wooing" Tony.

"Talking Bodies" by itsallAvengers

Coincidentally, the physical effects of romantic and sexual desire match up very closely with the physical effects of fear. But it's not a problem-- it's not like anyone is going to be able to hear the way your heart speeds up, or see the minute dilation of your pupils, are they? They'd have to be some sort of Superhuman to do that. And what's worse than a Superhuman hearing that quick pulse and seeing those dilated eyes and concluding that you're in love with them? A Superhuman hearing that quick pulse and seeing those dilated eyes and thinking you're terrified of them.

The stakes could not be funnier and the yearning could not be heartier. The misunderstandings make the pining so much more fun to behold and the resolution is uber Hot! Love Steve's droopiness as the delicious backdrop to Tony's he's-so-sexy freakout.

And now we've arrived at the moment for that much-needed "I've been in love with you for YEARS!" / "Wait--what?!" / "Not that it matters...because we will only ever be friends..." / "NO! I love YOU." / "What??" / *cue passionate makeout* conversation. AKA: the end!

Go forth: SteveTony lovers, fuckers, ambassadors, champions, perverts, freaks, losers, dreamers, legends! Read, re-read, kudo, comment, spread legs and spread love.

[heyhojoy]

The Case for Hornigold

So like a lot of people I would love to see S2 focusing on Ed’s character arc, him finding out who he really is / wants to be, freeing himself from the constricts of expectations and toxic masculinity and integrating all the different parts of his personality into something wholesome (preferably doing all this independent of Stede, as has been argued really well in other metas that I will link here as soon as I find them again).

And you know who he absolutely needs to meet for this integration and healing to happen?

Hornigold!

Let me explain why this would make for excellent storytelling.

The epic potential of this meeting struck me like a lightning bolt when I was reading up a little bit about the historical version of Edward Teach. In an article somewhere there was one sentence that let the whole story unfurl in my mind immediately. It’s the last sentence of this paragraph:

Uuuuh. So “historically”, Hornigold is out there somewhere hunting pirates. At the end of S1, Ed has just broken his Act of Grace contract after like one day, so we can assume that the British navy will be after him real bad (not just a  Badminton brother out for personal revenge this time!) and will presumably start something of a hunt for him / put a price on his head. It would be very believable for Hornigold to start taking up that trail.

Now, we now that this show does not care about historical accuracy, but why pass up a chance of such  juicy meeting, when history serves you a cue like that? (An excellent opportunity to go with the “yes, and…” of improv!)

We know from the breakfast conversation with Calico Jack that also in the OFMD universe, Ed sailed with Hornigold, back when CJ and Ed “first became outlaws”. We know that Hornigold abused them, verbally and physically  (“worse than dogs”, “stabbed us”, “ground us down into nothing” etc.). So Ed learned the way of piracy from an abusive asshole, an epitome of toxic masculinity. Let that sink in. He (presumably) ran away from home after he killed his dad in a very traumatic experience and first place he ended up in was Hornigold’s ship, which sounds like horrible environment to be at any time, let alone after something like this.

But he got out of there and is now one of the most infamous pirate captains himself. He made a name for himself by telling a ghost story of violence, by creating a creature that came straight from Hornigold’s ship of horrors, if you so will. But we know that he did not turn into that person, it is just a performance – it has been drilled into him that this is how piracy works (and it does! it does work! But for what price) and he performs this role brilliantly for a long time.

At the end of S1, Ed turns into the kraken. He does not ‘revert’ to Blackbeard, his flashy, charismatic fuckery persona, but turns into something much darker, where actually he is all the things that he only ever projected before, dead-serious, stone-hearted.

Good storytelling will show us how he gets out of this again. How he makes deliberate choices that bring him closer to peace and understanding of himself, to acceptance of all sides of him, the soft and the chaotic-violent ones. It will be very hard and obstacles will need to be overcome. And, very importantly, for this to feel like fulfilling storytelling he needs to face his past and tell it: No. I will not follow your dictate, I deliberately and consciously choose to leave you behind and forge my own path – my past does not determine my future!

What better way to spell that out than meeting the abusive mentor (who has even taken a pardon!!! Who has even ‘betrayed’ the concept piracy??) and tell him NO to his face?

It would feel really threatening to be hunted by your horrible former mentor, having to face him, making you inevitably revert back to feeling small, young, helpless and hopeless. (Is there any other character that could possibly have this effect on Ed??)

So imagine how good it will feel to then slam your foot down, because you’re not young and helpless anymore, you’ve grown, you choose a different path, and you stand up for your current self and your younger self.

Imagine how good it would feel to Ed to tell his abusive mentor that he did not deserve to be treated like this, that Hornigold was wrong about life (and I guess piracy) and that he can go suck eggs in hell.

So, anyone else excited for Hornigold in S2???

[greenhousethree]

hi! i thought your meta was interesting on wizards and genetics. i'm wondering what you think about how magical diseases work, and why only wizards can get sicknesses like dragon pox!

OMG I love this question, thank you so much!

I hadn't given the idea of magic-specific diseases much thought, but it would have been a really interesting (and potentially confounding) factor to introduce when I wrote that meta. And honestly, I don't know that my answer will be satisfying to other biology/genetics folks in fandom, but I'm always happy to chat about the topic if anyone's got more points to add! I'm writing this next to my lab bench of cell cultures today, so here goes...

First of all, I want to throw away the idea that Muggles aren't affected by magical afflictions because they aren't exposed to them. Wizards live under the noses (literally) of Muggles; if non-magical people could contract Dragonpox and Spattergroit, they would.

This then leads to the question: assuming a magic/nonmagic binary, how have these two populations evolved such different physiologies or genotypes that they can behave similarly and mate with one another, but aren't affected by the same diseases?

Because this question can be answered from sooo many different angles, I've come up with an answer that's basically a headcanon, based on my knowledge and what I think would be a cool way for this to work:

A little non-magical, biology background: there are a lot of ways that our genes affect our physiology. The scientific community has a really good foundational knowledge of how these things work, but we're constantly finding new ways that, for instance, genes we thought only were meant to regulate inflammation also majorly affect lung development. These are multi-factorial genes that affect a lot of specific, but disparate, parts of our physiology.

My favorite example of a genotype that follows a simple Mendelian genetic model occurs in the HBB gene, which encodes a part of the hemoglobin in our red blood cells. When a recessive mutation is passed on by both parents to their offspring, the result is sickle-cell anemia, a heritable condition that affects red blood cells. That's all well and good on a dominant/recessive trait model, but what we continue to learn is that there are also effects of being a carrier of sickle-cell (having only one recessive copy). Carriers have an increased resistance to malaria... not only compared to sickle-cell affected patients, but also to compared to otherwise "healthy" non-carriers. Sickle-cell and malaria are two diseases that seem completely different (heritable vs. parasitic), but they both affect the blood, and carrying one copy of the sickle-cell mutation actually makes carriers' blood just different enough that they become worse hosts for the malaria parasite. This is just one example, and there are a lot of other ways that genes can have protective effects (including by regulating other genes), but I think you get the picture.

Long story short, there are heritable traits that don't seem to be connected, but can really impact one another. I think that whatever that magical "gene" is must work this way, too: it protects against certain Muggle diseases, somehow, and perhaps upregulates or unlocks whatever makes wizards susceptible to magical ones (I haven't even gotten into whether Dragonpox or Spattergroit are viral, bacterial, fungal, or a secret fourth option, but that's for another day). I don't have a proposal for this mechanism, per say, because there are just too many options. But I like to think that there's a little bit of physics and a little bit of magic at work, here.

A few questions that came to me while thinking about this: can half-bloods or Muggle-born wizards contract both magical and Muggle diseases? What the hell to poor Muggle parents do if their pre-eleven-year-old wizard child contracts an illness that the doctors have no idea what to call? I'd be really curious to read some sort of epidemiology text written by a Healer-turned-Muggle-physician, a Carlisle Cullen of wizards, if you will...

(speaking of which, can we talk about how RIDICULOUS it is that vampires, werewolves, and humans apparently all have different numbers of chromosomes? Ugh. I digress...)

Thanks again, anon! 🌱

[tsunael]

WoL Think Thonkers

#5 How do they feel now that "it's all over" (the story of Hydaelyn and Zodiark)? What do they plan to do next? Or is their story finished - and if you're retiring them, what does retirement look like for them? Do you have someone else taking the stage going forward?

A part of me would love to retire her now just because I am so satisfied by the 'ending' of XIV and subsequently the growth I've written for her (and continue to write) but I know I won't be able to do that for several reasons-- most of them personal.

To steer away from the meta, Tsuna, herself is very ready to retire. I want to say it's the first moment where she truly wants to quit, but as I'm writing this I realize she probably had a moment post-Heavensward where she entertained thoughts about it.

Tsuna does actually 'quit' in 6.1. I have a vague ideation of her 'retirement' either having influence on, or coinciding with, the disassembly of the Scions. Though, of course, circumstances end up bringing her into the fray again. I didn't really want her involved too heavily in the 13th arc but I found her and Zero to be Interesting.

Regardless, Tsuna feels burned out. She is tired. Her mother is confirmed dead, and though she reunites with her father only for him to be gravely injured during the attack of Palaka's Stand. The injuries that Zenos inflicted on her were also severe, and a few had long lasting effects.

There's a lot of psychological and (now physical) issues she suddenly has to contend with now that the fate of the world isn't on her shoulders. She never got to properly process the events of 'In From The Cold', for instance.

There's also her *waves vaguely* love life which finally comes to a head around this time for better or for weird and worse.

For a woman whose life has become only what she can do for others, and to have her worth based on the measure of her deeds, that downtime during her hospital recovery was excruciating. She has a need to keep busy and work but she's bedridden for (possible) months.

There's a moment where she contemplates ending herself because of it all-- and I'm still questioning if its out of character considering the whole point of EW is not to do that-- but there is just so much pressure on her at that time in her life that I think would bring her to those kinds of depths. She feels so utterly worthless and alone while also having every eye in the world on her.

Needless to say I've been enjoying the current theme of 'wol needs a vacation' because boy! Does Tsuna need it.

Y'all know any good therapists in Tuliyollal, or...

[splattermouth]

I'm v tired right now so apologies if this doesn't make much sense, but. You talking about the genre of Val's story and by proxy, Volo's changing makes me wonder what that looks like from the outside.

Like, how do people who know and interact with Val and/or Volo perceive what's happening? Do they even know there's been such a shift as caused by an inexplicable yet horrifically powerful being that can't be wholely described in words? Do they see something wrong yet there's some kind of deliberate mental block preventing them from feeling that whatever's happening is out of place and they react as if everything is completely normal even though it absolutely isn't?

Do they know but get a vague sense of dread or malaise when they think about, are near, or visibly see Val and/or Volo and they don't know what it is but it prevents them from getting any closer? That it's another block but the block is their own fear rather than something possibly created by Jacred? That the feeling also stemming from Volo is like a metaphysical "virus" that more like... makes him function as an extended area of effect of that feeling of dread Jacred emanates?

I'm just throwing ideas out bc I find existential and meta horror fascinating, and some aspects of your interpretation of the pokemon world and how it and glitches function feel similar to my own. (especially that one post about Val's entire personality being unwound and stitched back together feeling in a similar vein to my explanation for Fukakai's existence, though the way it came into existence was much more destructive.)

Eughhh... tl;dr is "if the genre of the story relating specifically to these two characters (if it miraculously doesn't involve Irida) has shifted, how do others from outside this perceive what's going on?"

The way you describe the shift and the context of it being caused by a truly eldritch being causes the setting of the story to give me "chronic wasting disease" vibes.

Not just those "it looks like a deer but when you get close you realize it's not" posts, as that implies it never was normal, no, but "it was once a perfectly normal and healthy deer but something happened and there's nothing that can be done about it as it gets perpetually worse, and due to the nature of what happened, you have no clue of exactly when it changed."

A "It's a deer but not, it's very being is decaying and rotting, and it's behavior is completely uncharacteristic of what it should be. It's uncanny and makes you feel distinctly unsafe."

It's like the setting of the story got rotated at an angle and it seems to stem from a plot relevant character not aware of the "fabricated" existence of their world deviating from the script and Whoops! :)

It makes the world itself feel oppressive once the illusion of the world being "real" is broken. Like it's a box. A universal derealization that tugs at the mind...

I am so sorry about this long ask, I speak in paragraphs. I love things like this and there being a personal witness to the horrors as they develop and overtake.

It also gives me vibes of this: [https://www.tumblr.com/arceusbeta/729654972896116736/graphics-cafe-graphics-cafe-heartbeatmotif?source=share]

OH BOY I GET TO TALK ABT JACQ N MISSINGNO LORE AGAIN. WAHAH!

So like, when I say specifically Volo’s genre changes halfway through, I just mean like metaphorically, or like, from a literary stand point. Nothing about him Actually Physically Changes, even after Jacred comes into play. But Missingno’s presence DOES completely shift the story off its axis, like you said. Up until Missingno finds Val in Hisui again, the story of Legends Arceus is SUPPOSED to play out the exact same way, albeit now with Val here. (As an aside, Val is very similar to Ingo at first, in that him falling to Hisui was an unintended variable added to the rest of the Hisui casts’ lives and personal storylines. But otherwise, both Ingo and Val are just regular people. Their presence doesn’t suddenly change the paths anyone else is on, and really doesn’t majorly alter the course of history all that much. Up until Missingno appears and throws everything out of whack, Rei and Akari will still be sent to seek out all pokemon, Volo and Giratina will still attempt to tear up spacetime and collect plates, the whole nine yards.)

BUT. Missingno and Jacred are NOT normal humans, and in fact, they resist the natural order of things by their very nature. Missingno and Jacred are both faulty pieces of ‘code’, imperfect, ‘broken’ designs that do not mesh with the strings of time and space and existence that Arceus has woven, and in fact, unravel them at the seams. Their literal existence does not follow the current rules of nature Arceus laid out, tl;dr. Jacred’s creation is the catalyst for a literal genre shift in real time, going from a big fun fantasy adventure, to like some psychological, even survival horror. Volo just remains unaware of this shift til its too late.

(And everyone else is also unaware for most of the story, I suppose? Though by the time Jacred shows up, both Val and Volo are pretty isolated from the rest of the cast due to Volo’s Bizarre Adventures in Bad Decision Making, very unfortunately for Vo. I think the only other ones who’ll even know something’s wrong with Val at all are like. Irida and Cogita. And only bc Volo just has to outright beg them for help I think. Still planning how I want that to work out, but defo Irida at least gets involved in the endgame).

As for being able to tell if something’s wrong, once Val and Missingno start to fuse, people absolutely CAN sense Something, but not in any way they could really put into words. The best way I can describe it is like. You know how one of the biggest signs of an oncoming heart attack (and like a few other health issues, I believe. I assume) is a sudden sense of dread? Like a sudden feeling that Something’s Gone Wrong In Your Body, before any Actual Physical symptoms show themselves. It’s like that I think. 

Physically, no one would feel any different around a missingno’d Val, at least not in the early stages of fusion. Physically, Val looks no different. The only maybe Slightly noticeable thing is little changes in behavior, things that can easily be written off. I think until Jacred is formed, Volo only ever describes Val as ‘sick’, even if he isn’t fully sure what ‘being sick’ even means in this case. But people around Val still get Something in their body, their mind, telling them Something Is Terribly Off Here, even if they can’t particularly articulate that feeling. A Missingno’s default state is disruption, after all. It naturally disrupts any systems in place, even if one doesn’t know just what they’re feeling or what those systems even are. And the sheer damage being done won’t rear it’s head til much much later and much much Too late.

Also fun to think about how, again, Jacred’s mere presence throws the entirety of Arceus’ plans and strings of fate out of wack. And yet Jacred does not view itself as a villain or in opposition to Arceus and the orderly little story It’s writing. Jacred doesn’t view Arceus as some kind of cruel creator or anything. I hardly think it’s even aware of Arceus’ existence, or if it is, it doesn’t make it too apparent that it cares lol.

I don’t think Jacred views itself as Anything necessarily, not a hero or a villain. Fusing with Rival Trainer Valentine does make it Behave like a fusion of both the protagonist And the rival trainer classes, for sure. It acts fucking weird, and its personality and morals are fucked and inconsistent because of that fact. But again, I don’t think it Views itself as any particular role, if that makes any sense lmao.

But I Do think on some level, it believes its shattering of the natural order is freeing to all those who inhabit it*. It thinks what it’s doing is a net positive. It fused with a human after all, someone that has feelings and hopes and dreams and all that good stuff. And bc of that, Jacred loves Volo just as much as Val does, even if Jacred isn’t quite sure What it’s feeling all the time. Even the Missingno that took Val itself, while seemingly more intelligent than most other Missingno, it was still just fulfilling a need to Survive. Like It does manipulate Val a bit, but it’s more akin to that fungus that controls the minds of ants than just naturally being some Master of Charisma and Wit.

Anyway, probably all the more reason to not upset Jacred lol. Missingno may not have been fully malicious on its own, but Jacred definitely COULD be if it wanted to. It has the capacity to now.

*(Even though, in the deepest, most forgotten layers and worlds. Everything is pure chaos. Everything and everyone having collapsed in on itself into nothing but an amalgam of corruptions and ‘coding errors’ that have little chance of being pieced back into anything resembling Anything. It’s something equivalent to a hivemind, but with any trace of personality or coherent thought gone, really. Most Missingno in general are just ‘broken’ people and pokemon. Beings whose ‘code’ has decayed and been malfunctioning for god knows how long, with no legends or myths or deities to keep their worlds from falling apart, but still beings that try to carry out their ‘code’ to the best of their abilities regardless. (I think specifically of that one glitch ‘mon thats just like. Its name is just the female symbol and all it does is play a buggy version of the battle theme and softlock you.))

In conjunction w everything else said, (and related to the one computer infecting the other w poetry, which my god. I ADORE btw, tyyyy ;;; ) have also been thinking very much about how. While Volo absolutely DOES think Jacred is fucked up and wrong and shouldn’t exist and should just let his friend go. At the same time, I see Jacred as a sort of temptation for Volo. Like they Finally have the one thing in front of them that could answer all of their burning questions about the universe and their place in it. It promises them a better world (Aren’t you happy? Aren’t you excited? You’re finally going to be free!). In some ways, Jacred is everything Volo’s ever been looking for. And Jacred is More than happy to show them! Because they are Good Good Friends!! But there’s still that ever-present guilt that this is Val’s body and Val’s voice and by submitting to Jacred, is he not giving permission to the thing in his lover to further reshape and rewrite Val’s existence as a whole? Volo’s always been so selfish, after all, hasn’t he?

Anyway ty for th ask i always appreciate themmmm!!!

[hydrobromic]

okay. some more definitive thoughts™ about ck season 5. this show really works best when you switch your brain off, let anything that irks you slide out of your brain, and let it take you on a fun ride with some really funny and cathartic moments. that’s the way i consumed the season and so i had fun at the time, but am i going to ignore all harmful and oftentimes bad storytelling and themes just because this is a silly karate show and the creators probably didn’t consciously intend to imply some of the things they are implying with their character arcs? hell no! reading this fandom’s meta and watching y’all transform this franchise into something with beautiful thematic resonance through meta, fanfic, fanart etc are why i love this fandom so much. so know i’m about to be reblogging a lot of y’all’s content and thoughts in a bit.

here’s some more of my thoughts (positive and negative) under the cut

i felt that the main story line of this season (daniel and chozen vs terry) worked really well because the writers actually seemed to know how they wanted to progress this arc. daniel’s experiences and trauma have often been sidelined on the show because it’s johnny’s story. while johnny’s story is one that subverts the karate kid by adding complexity to johnny’s character (to mixed effect more on that later), daniel’s arc harkens back to the structure of the original movies, and the writers seem better adept to handle this.

the original movies set up daniel’s trauma caused by cobra kai’s methods and actions and his overcoming of his immediate adversaries through Miyagi’s teachings and methods. in cobra kai, we see daniel’s trauma response to the return of cobra kai through the seasons. and so in this season he has a clear arc - he’s been traumatized by terry, terry threatens and gaslights daniel while making daniel look bad, everyone but chozen thinks he’s being paranoid, he doesn’t want to hurt his family further so he goes the non-violence route and tries to surrender but terry hurts him, the people in daniel’s life realize the extent to terry’s violence and manipulation and they rally around him and support him, through support daniel is able to turn terry’s own teachings into Miyagi-do defence and beat terry.

it has a similar structure to the karate kid movies - daniel is being hurt, he learns how to defend himself/win without compromising his morals, good prevails. it’s a simple structure so the writers are able to execute it and make it feel so cathartic because of it’s resonance with the original movies. it’s a simple theme but a satisfying one: good wins over evil through friendship, family, and love.

one of the only ways this arc would have been better for me is if daniel had been the one to discuss his trauma. chozen seems to know what’s going on but daniel should have had a moment with amanda especially but also johnny where he is able to be vulnerable and talk about what terry did to him.

while i think daniel’s arc was good, i always have trouble with what the writer’s do with johnny. it’s no secret that billy zabka plays johnny so well. he brings such life and charm to the character and with some good writing his character could be so much more interesting. the problem is that while the show seem to have started out with the intention of examining johnny’s flaws and his flawed worldview (mainly toxic masculinity) the writers love johnny and violence too much to complicate his character and make the show more interesting.

this season especially, everyone in johnny’s life (carmen, shannon, robby, and miguel) all felt like props to uphold and justify johnny’s worldview.

for example:

the only way for robby and miguel to work out their differences is through a physical fight. while johnny tries to get them to work out through alternate methods, ultimately the ‘correct’ way to solve problems is through johnny’s preferred method of violence

both robby and miguel let johnny off the hook way too easily. yes johnny is trying to be better and be there for his kids but wouldn’t everything be much more interesting if this was actually hard work that johnny had to do rather than him show up for them once and everything be fixed

shannon! shannon!!! i can’t even get into this scene because it makes me so mad. make johnny own up to what he did

obviously the johnny and carmen having a baby story line was laughably bad. they didn’t have a functioning relationship last season but of course the creation of a heterosexual nuclear family will fix all that. carmen is reduced down into a nothing character whose love and sacrifice makes johnny into a better person. it’s a tired trope and other people have put all these points much better than i have but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. ALSO no one has any complicated feelings about it (not carmen, or robby, or miguel, or shannon or anyone?!?) 

i actually liked the scene where he redoes his house and does research but wouldn’t it have been more impactful if he did it because he wants a nice home for Robby to stay in and for Carmen to stay over. hell, he could have tried to learn some spanish for Miguel or look into skateboarding so him and Robby could bond, but no it’s pushed aside so he can start over with another kid.

these things annoy me so much because there is a nugget of a really good arc somewhere in here. Johnny is breaking the cycle of abuse that was inflicted on him and that he inflicted on others, and so much could be done with that. It’s messy, hard work, and requires a lot of reflection and apologizing (to daniel maybe????). While i think johnny learning to make friends and create a community around him is great because the support of friends and family makes it easier to break out of that cycle of violence and toxicity, they can’t just be there to pay lip service to the fact he’s a better person while his actions say otherwise and are framed as good. the frustrating bit is sometimes the writers get it right and make some interesting scenes that explore johnny’s character and sometimes they let him off the hook because they like violence and think it’s cool. this isn’t a prestige drama so it doesn’t have to be too complex but some consistent characterization of the people around johnny would go a long way of not rewarding johnny as if he’s making progress while actually he is remaining pretty stagnant in his worldview. 

Lastly, you know what i love in a story? found family. especially when a found family is filled with complicated relationships and messy history while still working to know each other better and support each other better - ck does this well some of the time (johnny and daniel (some of the time), daniel and chozen, daniel and amanda, carmen and amanda (this is a stretch because ck doesn’t see them as complex characters but at least they’re friends)

do you know what i hate in a story? when a found family is all neatly paired up into heterosexual couples as a happy ending because it supports the status quo. i love daniel and amanda and while carmen deserves better, i can see a way that her and johnny would work, but why oh why would they make chozen in love with kumiko this whole time??? why is heterosexuality a synonym for a happy ending while anything is else is either erased or seen as evil and deviant. they didn’t have to do this, and it makes me sad that the writers’ perception of families and love are so limited.

anyway, this got long and rambly towards the end but i’m happy to get this all off my chest.

[trinkerichi]

ive watched the live action boyband osomatsu movie twice now (with no subs) and I hate it so much it's cursed it makes me feel itchy. it's not even 2 hours long but it feels like an eternity. it was developed in a lab to be as pointless as physically possible it's a masterpiece. it’s almost 3 am and i’m going insane

like the first quarter of the movie is an osomatsu movie. well not really, but it’s like one of those cosplay videos on youtube where its a bunch of friends running around doing improv. the set design is adorable! I love their fun little house! the side characters look fun! the funny little cartoon fight cloud effects are super silly and fitting of the original. it’s cheesy and fun! it seems like it’s starting to set up a sweet story about osomatsu’s relationship with is brothers! im excited! except then you realize that osomatsu being a public nuisance and an angry drunk is a little more uh.. hard to watch.. when he’s a real man instead of a funny little cartoon muppet. 

BUT WE DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT FOR LONG! BECAUSE FOR THE REST OF THE MOVIE, NOBODY ACTS ANYTHING LIKE THEIR MATSU COUNTERPARTS AT ALL!

it’s the story from kun where the rich family wants to adopt one of the matsus. but this plot is barely focused on at all once it’s introduced. the rest is just stuff. happening. and it’s all scenarios that would be hilarious in the real show but here it’s SO.. its just a bunch of generic hot guys?? doing random movie tropes?? I GET that’s the joke, that they’re referencing a bunch of different generic movie plots (while the side characters do meta commentary over it) but it felt like an F6 skit that never ended. this section lasted soooooo looooong.

karamatsu had it the worst imo he did nothing resembling the original character in the entire thing. the only actor who actually acted like the character was jyushimatsu’s and he was BARELY IN THE MOVIE. and the idol group playing the matsus actually has 9 members so they inserted 3 oc’s into the movie that are just kinda. there.

 for the record I watched the hipipo movie without subs and I could understand it all just fine with my very rudimentary understanding of japanese. with this i was LOST. IT’S SO CONFUSING THAT I FEEL LIKE IF I WATCHED IT WITH SUBS ID BE JUST AS CONFUSED.

at least in the final quarter it starts getting bafflingly confusing in a FUNNY way. the plot twists and action scenes just escalate to the point where it’s just nonsense upon nonsense and GOOD. I LIKE THAT. again its happening to a bunch of random dudes instead of the matsus but it’s more entertaining than before. and then it just ends? abruptly?? WHATEVER.

isn’t the entire appeal of osomatsu san that the characters have different wacky personalities and it’s fun to see them clash with each other and react to their surroundings?? well TOO BAD! it was just.. so not osomatsu. the vibes were so off. it felt wrong. i dont like it.

[dyslexicandakeyboard]

Made this post before but child superhero does NOT equal child abuse.

Why?

It ignores real actual cases in the DC universe of children being forced (important key word) into the masked world and focuses on situations that would not qualify. Think Cass or (in some retrospects, he wasn't a child I think) Steel. There is a big difference between Tim forcefully asking Bruce to train him and make him Robin and what Cass went through which was abuse.

It is a fricking convention (convention just means something that is usually done which can include writing style or topics used in a piece of writing, it's kinda like a trope) of the genre. It's even in the Incredibles and no ones arguing that that's abusive. It's ingrained into superhero comics, especially Batman related properties, as writers wanted to attract younger readers. (Dick's first appearance reads like those wattpad stories ngl).

It devalues the agency of the characters. Basically, if you read most accepted or highly liked origins of the Robins/child partners, most of the origins give the children a lot of choice in the matter. It was their choice. I'm not arguing that it's a smart choice or a healthy choice. Nor am I denying that it allowed for them to have a well-adjusted adult life.

Forgets that the comics went through massive tonal, social and even genre shifts. Early comics were not meant to be serious and they have all the acceptable social attitudes of the day such as sexism. Early comics were not looking to write a study on the effects of a child being put into highly violent, high-pressure situations. They were looking to entertain children, where was their target audience. I think that modern comics are more critical of child heros, but it's kinda like saying that parents that put their children into ballet are inherently abusive/looking to give their children body issues. It's not that simple.

Weirdly enough, devalues other batfam characters that are not the Robins and the very independent natures of their origins to say that they were abused and forced into the role of a superhero.

I think it's good that there are fanworks that look critically at their childhoods and the effects of crimefighting. I love reading works that actually write Bruce as how he is shown to canonically parent/mentor (Not a physical/emotional Abuser nor that overly doting kissy-kissy-huggy unrealistic parent) and shows his mistakes. It's great that people are giving tropes and concepts a critical eye. However that would mean Clark's an abuser and Lois is an enabler which, obviously, is not right.

DC is set up in a particular way where one can train a child if they treat the child acceptably (ie not abusively). It's wrong to look into this setting and say that it's inherently child abuse.

Also, lots of tension between Bruce and the Robins due to Bruce barring them from patrol or taking away their mantles if they got hurt. It was a common trope in loads of fanfiction on ffnet to ground a Robin from patrol when they were hurt or the villain was very danguous, especially in the Young Justice (The TV show) fandom. It happened to Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian. Bruce has set limits on Cass, such as her not fighting metas, for her safety. If Bruce was actually written to be abusive and to not care for the safety of his partners (I understand that there are times in which Bruce has been abusive. I'm talking generally) this wouldn't be such a common occurrence.

So, in my opinion, child superhero ≠ child abuse

[legionofpotatoes]

10 17 and 22 for the art asks :)! also re one of your answers to this: if you enjoy writing, you should do it. i absolutely encourage it. doesn't matter if its not "grandiose" or "important" - the thing thats important is YOU getting to have fun Doing Stuff. :3

Hey you! Thanks for these ☺️

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

It's the one I draw most often I guess. The 2012 N7 armor variant 🙃 otherwise I like capes. Or drapes. In that sexy art nouveau way.

17. Do you eat-drink while drawing? if so, what

Not while I'm drawing, no. I take breaks for lunch, but I can't be chewing on something in the process. That would mess up the focus! I do keep a water bottle around (a redundant statement. my home is dotted with half-empty water bottles, always at hand). There is an enormous chasm between the mess my productivity was back when I spent entire days focused on nothing but drawing, to now when I keep my meat suit hydrated. It's night and day. Water is the real deal, folks. Cannot stress this enough, drink up.

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

Nothing before; lots of stretching and wrist-rolling during. I know this is something I need to get better at, especially as I keep pulling longer hours in my thirties. It's on the agenda, he said, and probably lied.

I also like to hold my pen in a way that dents the side of my middle finger... trying to work my way around it to no avail so far. I have big-time problems here, gang. My fingie has ouchies when I draw for more than three straight hours.

Regarding the whole writing thing - I didn't mean it like I hate to express myself in writing or even in longform rambles every now and then because of some stuck-up ethical reasons - I honestly don't care about that and you will have to pay me ungodly amounts of money to get me to shut up, just in general. I am extremely lax on what "meaningful" means, and a 24/7 fun train outta these stupid brains absolutely counts.

What I did mean by my answer was storytelling, and specifically storytelling done through writing. You know - that thing that is all about articulating parables through narratives and worldbuilding and meaning-making, which is something I admire but will probably never seriously dabble in. I am keenly aware of the type of creator that I am; I'm still a consumer first. I genuinely revere storytelling, and my "creativity" or whatever is fully transformative and usually stems from my need to prop that other thing up even higher for others to see. Probably why fan art is most of what I do.

And I can (and do) write a lot in that meta sense of how storytelling sometimes does and does not work - anyone following me here knows that is my main weapon to wield against your tired eyeballs. I love understanding both the humanity at the core and the delivery mechanisms around storytelling mediums and how we're all just trying to say the same things over and over again through convoluted yet effective and novel packages and it's all intimate and grand and gorgeous and terrifying and flawed and fun and meaningful and transient and heartbreaking and silly and different yet always somehow the same. And I am extremely aware of the type of gas one needs to have in the tank to actually tap into that semiotic dance and squeeze out a piece of writing that engages and tells a story that is both an escape and a mirror.

This isn't me bootlicking some esoteric auteur culture either, I have my own reservations with the word "talent." I've studied enough of storytelling to know that its raw craft is a crucial delivery system for its core ethos, and it can be built up and improved by anyone, given time and discipline. But it's that ethos I'm talking about, the payload itself. There is something else you need to have present in your soul for that. Something circumstantial, painful maybe, a wound that yearns both to heal and to share itself with others, adding to the tapestry of the zeitgeist in a way that enriches that moment in time instead of tearing it down with ignorance. And I know I make this all sound grandiose and mythic, but meaningful storytelling to me is literally some self-insert fanfic that lulled you into a bittersweet calm after a teenage breakup, or the romcom that made you laugh on a shitty day, or even a fucking poem scribbled on a wall that you completely took out of authorial context yet found some corny meaning in for no more than five seconds. It's the essence of those things, and I have trouble explaining exactly what I mean by that, but I know deep in my bones that it's something core to them that I don't have. I don't have that need to share my lived experience in that way, for reasons internal and external, and I think that is okay! More than anything else in the world I want to cheer on the people who do. I believe in them, and in storytelling, more than in most things in life, exactly because of how privy I am to its healing effects. So I'll do it in my own incessantly annoying ways, don't you worry about that.

I mean look at all this writing I did just now. That's something I like to do. And again; you will have to pay me to stop. Big money. I'm talking six figures or above straight from James Tumbler

[lyeekha]

👀 🎞 film asks: 10 & 2

(Film asks)

10. Which film is the one you’ve watched the most?

Having to think here but it's *probably* still Inception. I saw that one so many times in the five or so years after its release that combined with still watching it occasionally every few year or so its gotta be outpacing any other candidates.

Inception was a lot of my 'first time realising you could do that with film' film. Psychology represented physically in a (comparatively) sensitive manner that wasn't a 'psycho-horror' genre... the supremacy of practical effects... film meta about film inside of a film about separating reality and fantasy such as in films... j g-l in zero g... the sheer loudness of the idea of positive psychological catharsis being the far more effective force than browbeating... its a heist role 'getting the gang back together for one last job' movie (the best kind of action flick) with no uncomfortable killing (the enemy goons are imaginary) but also one with the worldbuilding and devices to contain 'from the style of architecture I deduce we are actually in Arthur's mind right now' without any further explanation... it was the first mainstream *adult* film that I could discuss with adults as an equal rather than from a child's perspective. It was the first film with the right balance of serious and stupid implication that I could get properly into the fandom for. Honest to gdd I remember searching 'Inception' on AO3 and there was about seven results, I was so early there. May have been on the way back from the cinema. Fanworks from that era still live clear as a bell in my mind. Banter in an action movie being actually enjoyable as intended and not painful. Tom Hardy being camp *on purpose* and not as a joke. (This is a list of first-time-I-encountered, remember.) Being able to notice the way that cinematography choices and set design were adding to and also commenting on the story. Any aspect of the story and story presentation, from serious to silly, I felt able to *debate* about with confidence and actually gain from other's perspectives. It was simply... the first time that had happened. Ever. I got a stainless steel replica of the spinning top (a crafter was making them, before the objectively shitty official merch ones) and it was the first comfort object /stim toy that actually worked for me and that I felt comfortable (not silly or infantilised) carrying. First time a film had such an overwhelming amount of detail that it genuinely stood up to so much viewing. (The way you can track the influences of different media on the psychology of each of the character's mind you are inside! The way this is done with set and cinematography aesthetic design!) I'd probably consider it all a lot more simple now, of course, but at that time... also first time, as well as the cinematography, really noticing and knowing how the soundtrack affects a film and learning to love Hans Zimmer. There's so much. Frankly the only sorta negative is that I seemed to be the only one who thought Ariadne was annoying and impulsive, but that works perfectly for the story thats only in comparison to other fans... This doesn't even begin to cover it and barely covers what it does cover but uh. I'm gonna stop myself here before I write a book.

i'll answer the other one a different time ive typed a lot and i didn't know i was going to do that

[lightns881]

I’m just wondering because Elysium they tested/used the frequency’s against physics specifically, are there other items or tactics (other than the cuffs) that are used to destabilize or hurt EMs and Metas in this universe. I find it so interesting how the cuffs also have different levels to them and such. Like would and EM who’s already not able to use their powers wearing the cuffs at a low setting have side effects if it’s turned too high? I’m just rambling now but I really love your story! <3

You know, I haven't actually thought about it, but I would guess there are seeing as that is what trails in Elysium are catered toward—they say it's to "help" EMs but really it's to test out things to keep "normal" people safe. And yes, I hadn't thought about it before, seeing as George was already sick with the blue cuffs, I can imagine it would be very bad for a low level EM to wear high level cuffs, honestly the cuff thing is kinda torturous and I'm pretty sure there's a reference to another country trying to enforce them on everyone and there being protests because it just sounds like something that would happen if it were actually real which is sad :(

Ramble in my asks all you want I love these!!! They also really help me keep my lore straight because by no means do I have every single little thing figured out, but knowing what people are curious about helps me gauge what to focus on! And thank you!!! <3

[amewinterswriting]

Happy STS! What’s the story that has influenced your writing craft the most? Whether it made some element of storytelling ‘click’ for you, or served as an example of how not to do things, which story has taught you the most?

Oooo, this is a tough question to narrow down. Mostly because I am a big believer in consuming stories in a lot of different mediums, all of which have some different advantages and disadvantages to the way in which it can tell a story. Partly because I definitely pick up a lot of 'how I don't want to do things' and I don't really want to put those stories on blast, necessarily. So I'll try to narrow down a short list (edit: this is definitely not short):

I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan (novel): A masterclass in unreliable narration, given that it is told from the perspective of the Devil and he himself tells you he might well be lying! Very witty and surprisingly heartfelt and queer sympathy for the devil story - all things that have shaped a lot of my writing!

Oneshot by Future Cat LLC (video game): I urge anyone even thinking about making interactive media to give this game a full playthrough. This really challenged my perception on what a video game is 'allowed' to do and be. The characters within the narrative address you personally (as in, you the player, not the character you control), and it only gets more meta from there. Some puzzles involve you digging around in your own documents folder (on your actual computer) for a file the game has generated for you. Narrative wise, it makes you care so much, so quickly for Niko, a lost kid who just wants to go home and is in a dark and unfamiliar land with only you to help them. It manages to capture that emotion of helplessness perfectly, especially given that it only has 2-D sprites, written text and music to work with. I can't say much more about it without spoiling it, but it's short (~11 hours), cheap (£8.50 full price, regularly on sale) and so very worth your while to experience first hand.

Old Harry's Game by Andy Hamilton (Radio series, originally on BBC Radio 4): Another take on sympathy for the devil (I might have a type) but closer to pure comedy than I, Lucifer. That doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of pathos, however. It's a wry and darkly comic view of Catholic Christianity dogma (written from Hamilton's own experiences of the Church growing up) but also veers into physics, psychology, philosophy, politics and history...and somehow continues to be funny throughout. It uses the radio medium to great effect, too: for example, having the entire environment of hell and the punishments therein reduced to sound effects and a few pithy lines of dialogue lets the listener fill in the gaps and imagine the scene. Demons often transform their bodies with a single sound effect and the characters get to narrate the grotesque ways in which they've changed, often leaving the worst detail until the right moment for maximum comedic effect. It's very intelligently written and available for free on the BBC Sounds app as of writing.

Robinson in Ruins by Patrick Keiller (film): My obligatory 'do not do things like this' pick. A documentary film if you take the meanings of both words very loosely; this is an essay, spoken over static shots of everyday British objects. Such as a road sign. And the lichen on a road sign. Or a brick wall. It's an infodump made into a film and possibly the most bored I have ever been by a piece of media (closely followed by Goodbye Dragon Inn, which is ostensibly a narrative about a cinema's very last movie screening before it closes down, and follows the people inside in slow, tedious detail as they do such riveting things as eat lunch, walk up stairs and take a piss). I have a reasonably high tolerance for 'art' films, but I discovered a very low tolerance for being bored to tears while watching this.

Notable mentions:

Love Simon, 2018 (film): I learnt I really don't care for coming out stories. They either go ridiculously well, with super supportive friends and family, after a long period of closeted worrying (which really minimizes the very real concerns a lot of us do have about coming out) or depressingly badly (which is just trauma porn for straight people). And they always gloss over the ongoing process of coming out - for me, coming out to family was no big deal, but I did have to think carefully about whether it was safe for me to come out at work and I still have moments of hesitation when dealing with older distant family/friends of family because I simply don't know if this particular acquaintance is homophobic or not.

The Chrestomanci Chronicles, Diana Wynn Jones (novel series): one from my formative years (and incidentally, a series I still think would be amazing to adapt to a television format). Often quite dark for children's literature (spoiler: a protagonist's sister has spent most of the protagonist's life spending his life force for her magical power. He is twelve when he finds out), can be read in any order but reading them all gives clues and details about the worldbuilding and offers background to the characters that do show up over multiple books. I really like the format of self-contained stories within a wider narrative world and this was possibly my first exposure to it.

Tales of Series (video game): a narrative hallmark of the whole series is setting up an expectation about the world (along with a serious question) and then, about a third of the way through, revealing some new information about the nature of the world that often adds a new dimension to the question asked. I still feel like Symphonia does this best: the beginning of the game establishes that your childhood friend is a Chosen - the only one with the power to save the world, and must go on a quest to different shrines to unlock her power and save the world from the evil half-elves. So far, so standard fantasy fare. Then, as her journey reaches its conclusion, you learn that her role is sacrificial, and you refuse to allow that to happen. Shortly after, you learn the world you're saving is one of a pair, and by saving it, the other world goes into decline. And this is a cycle that has been ongoing for millennia. And that the half-elves aren't all evil but a lot of discrimination has been thrown around by humans, elves and half-elves, and some of the acts you've seen are a twisted kind of self-defense. And it all gets more thorny and complicated from there, including a morally grey ultimate villain who is a perfect narrative foil for the lead protagonist. But the major thing I love about this series is the twist in the nature of the world that ultimately leads to the detailed analysis of the question being asked (in this, the twin worlds in a constant state of rise and decline lending nuance to the question of discrimination and what to do about it, not only along the race axis, but also about wealth, social power and cultural groups). All this with a genuinely lovable cast of characters who have so much hidden depth and personality that slowly gets revealed by plot and optional 'skit' scenes that are triggered by various game activities (from plot points to cooking to visiting different areas on the world map). If you have 60+ hours to dedicate to it, Symphonia is very rich in world development, character development and narrative. Just maybe don't hold all the other games in the series to the same high standard... (look, Graces was bad, we all agree on that. And they never made a sequel to Symphonia that reduced all that character and narrative development to ashes because that would be frankly awful)

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

bojack horseman and bo burnham: the art of acting like you’re acting and the comedy of misery

at the core of bojack horseman, raphael bob-waksberg’s 2014 comedy, is a story about the relationship between performance and depression. the protagonist of this renowned tragicomedy is best described as a sympathetic villain; he is shown to clearly be in the wrong across various events of the show, and is explicitly referred to as a bad person, but the audience is granted deep access to his personal struggles, resulting in some portions of the audience finding themselves on bojack’s side. the duality of his character is complex, but can be broken down into some core components, that all stem from the impacts of stardom and performance. the standup comedy of bo burnham arguably echoes this sentiment in real time. having been a performer from a young age, burnham creates work that serves as a satirical commentary on the life of entertainers. he uses original songs to explore the reliance upon and resentment for his performative nature both onstage and within his personal life. both the comedian and the netflix show are widely understood to be thinly veiling their critiques of the entertainment industry behind a particular brand of witty and absurd humour.

both bojack and burnham’s content openly criticises their audiences and explicitly states the manufactured nature of the narrative the audience is fed. in the fifth season of bojack horseman, the show satirises itself by having bojack star in a police procedural drama, parts of which are actively written by other characters to reflect events of bojack’s life. the titular character he plays, philbert, is the epitome of selfish male angst, and an example of what bob-waksberg’s show could have been; another story about a sad and angry man whose guilt supposedly makes up for the people he has hurt. according to bojack, philbert teaches us ‘we’re all terrible, so we’re all okay’, an interpretation that is harshly disputed by diane: ‘that’s not the point of philbert, for guys to watch it and feel okay. i dont want you, or anyone else, justifying their shitty behaviour because of the show.’ this moment is a direct reaction to some of the online reception bojack horseman has received. various circles of the show’s fanbase have found themselves relating to the protagonist to the point of defending his untoward behaviour, a response not intentioned by the show’s creators. this is not the only example of bob-waksberg’s ability to make his work self-evaluative. in season six’s exposure of bojack and sarah lynn’s problematic relationship, characters question their sexual encounter from the first season. the writers use this as a way of examining their own choices, and the harmful tropes they played into when using this exploitative sexual encounter as a gag. this self-evaluative quality is what sets bojack apart as a show that assesses the performance it participates in, much like the comedy of bo burnham.

bo burnham is known for directly addressing his audience, particularly in terms of discouraging idolisation and parasocial relationships. some examples of this manifest as responses to hecklers rather than a planned bit in the show, for instance:

heckler: i love you!

bo: no you don’t

heckler: i love the IDEA of you!

bo: stop participating!

he actively addresses the issues posed by being an entertainer, and encourages the audience to understand and recognise that his onstage persona is just that: an exaggerated persona. not once does burnham claim to be fully authentic onstage, and even moments of authenticity we see in his latest special, inside, are staged. we make the assumption that having the physical setting of a stage stripped away grants us a more personal look at the entertainer’s life, but he makes it clear that even in his own home we still see the aspects he has carefully constructed rather than the full truth. arguably though, parts of the show really are authentic; in his monologue during make happy, bo deconstructs his own show in a way that is similar to bojack horseman’s later seasons, admitting that all he knows is performing and thus making a show about the more mundane and relatable aspects of life would feel ‘incredibly disingenuous.’ in his attempts to separate himself from this onstage persona he actually manages to blur the lines between what is acting and what is now part of his nature as a result of his job. this notion is echoed in bojack horseman as bojack’s attention seeking nature is attributed to his years acting in front of a camera every day.

bo suggests that the era of social media has created a space in which children’s identities mimic that of an entertainer like himself, describing the phenomenon as ‘performer and audience melded together.’ in this observation he criticises the phenomenon. bo attempts to force the audience to recognise the ways in which their lives are becoming shaped by the presence of an audience and to some extent uses his own life as a warning tale against this. he points out the way in which the ‘tortured artist trope’ means that your cries for help or roundabout attempts of addressing mature themes such as substance abuse, mental illness and trauma become part of that on stage persona and therefore become part of the joke. both bo and bojack address these topics in more discrete manners earlier in their careers, but this eventually becomes expected, and thus they are forced to explicitly detail their struggles with these topics in order to be taken seriously. even then, portions of the audience are inclined to see it as part of the persona or as something that fuels the creators creativity and thus does not need to be addressed as a legitimate issue. the emphasis on creating a character or persona promotes the commodification of mental illness: any struggle must be made into a song or a joke or a bit, must be turned into part of the act in order to have value. this actually serves to delegitimise these emotions and create a disconnect between the feeling and the person, as it becomes near impossible to exist without feeling as though you are acting. even when an artist’s cries for help become blatant, they continue to go ignored because now they serve the purpose of creating content that criticises the industry they stem from. online audiences can be seen as treating bo burnham and his insightful work as existing to demonstrate the negative effects entertaining can have, and because this insight is useful or thought-provoking to audiences, he is almost demanded to keep entertaining and creating. in response to this demand, his work becomes more meta and his messages become clearer, and the more obvious his messages, the more people he reaches. this increases audience demands and traps entertainers in a cycle fraught with internal conflict.

during bojack’s second season, bojack’s date asks him, ‘come on, do that bojack thing where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, but at the same time we relate, because you're saying the things polite society won't.’ this moment exemplifies how aspects of his genuine personality have now become a part of his persona and this is demanded of him in genuine and serious situations, undermining the validity of his emotional reactions. he immediately makes a rude comment to the waitress at the restaurant they’re in and satisfies his date by performing that character he has set himself out to be. some circles of the fan base have argued that bojack is written as a depiction of somebody with borderline personality disorder, offering a psychoanalytical lens through which to view this notion of performance. a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder is a fluctuating sense of self; having grown up on camera, being demanded to perform to others as young as six years old, bojack’s sense of self will have been primarily dictated by the need to act.  whether this acting is for the sake of comedy, or as a representation of masking his mental illness, when they need to act is taken away bojack entirely loses his sense of self and relapses into his addictions: ‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a person.’ burnham’s depictions of depression run along a similar vein; in his new special he poses the idea that his comedy no longer serves the same personal purpose it once did for him. he questions ‘shit should I be joking at a time like this?’ and satirises the idea that arts have enough value to change or impact the current global issues that we are facing. burnham’s ‘possible ending song’ to his latest special, he asks ‘does anybody want to joke when no-one’s laughing in the background? so this is how it is.’ implicit in this question is the idea that when the audience is taken away and there is nobody to perform his pain to, he is left with his pain. instead of being able to turn his musings and thoughts into a product to sell to the public, he is forced to just think about them in isolation and actually face them, an abrupt and distressing experience.

the value of performance and art is questioned by both bojack and burnham, particularly during the later years of their respective content. burnham’s infamous song, art is dead, appears to be a direct response to the question ‘what is the worth of art?’ he posits that performing is the result of a need for attention (‘my drug’s attention, i am an addict, but i get paid to indulge in my habit’) and repeatedly jokes throughout his career that the entertainment industry receives more respect that it deserves (‘i’m the same as you, im still doing a job or a service, i’m just massively overpaid’). his revelations regarding the inherent desire for attention that runs through all entertainers is frequently satirised in bojack horseman. bojack is comically, hyperbolically attention hungry and self-obsessed, and the show has a running gag in which he uses phrases along the lines of ‘hello, why is nobody paying attention to me, the famous movie star, instead of these other boring people.’ his constant attempts to direct the focus of others towards himself result in bojack feeling like ‘everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.’ his peers buy into his act and adore the comical, exaggerated, laughable aspects of his character, but find very little room to respond to him on a genuinely personal level because of this. interestingly, bojack appears to enjoy catering to his audience and the instant gratification it produces, whereas bo burnham becomes increasingly candid about his mixed feeling towards his audience. ‘i wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself, i wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but i wanna say what i think and not care what you think about it.’ he admits to catering to what audiences want from him, but resents both the audience and himself in the process as it reveals to himself which parts of his character are solely for the sake of people watching him.

within bojack horseman, this concept is applicable not only to the protagonist, but to the various forms of performer demonstrated in the plot. towards the show’s end, sarah lynn asks ‘what does being authentic have to do with anything?’ to which herb kazzaz responds, ‘when i finally stopped hiding behind a facade i could be at peace.’ this highlights the fact that because entertainers are demanded to continue the facade, they do not receive the opportunity to find ‘peace.’ this sentiment is scattered throughout the show, through a musical motif, the song ‘don’t stop dancing.’ the song stems from a life lesson bojack imparted to sarah lynn at a young age, and becomes more frequently used as the show progresses and bojack’s situation worsens.

sarah lynn is also used to explore the value of entertainers; in the show’s penultimate episode, she directly compares her work as a pop icon to the charity work of herb, arguing that if she suffered in order to produce her work. it has to mean something. she lists the struggles she faced when on tour: ‘i gave my whole life...my manager leaked my nudes to get more tour dates added, my mom pointed out every carb i ate, it was hell. but it gave millions of fans a show they will never forget and that has to mean something.’ implicit in this notion is the idea that entertainment is the epitome of self-sacrifice. there is a surplus of mentally ill individuals within the industry, largely due to the nature of the industry itself, but some may argue that the cultural grip the industry has, and the vast amounts of respect and money it generates annually, gives the suffering of these prolific individuals meaning.

the juxtaposing responses entertainers feel towards their audiences manifest as two forms of desperation: the desperation to be an individual who is held accountable, and the desperation to be loved and validated. we see both bojack and bo depict how they oscillate between  ‘this is all a lie’ and ‘my affection for my audience is genuine’, or between ‘do not become infatuated with me im a character’ and ‘please fucking love my character i do not know how to be loved on a personal level.’ bojack explicitly asks diane to write a slam piece on him and ‘hold him accountable’, similar to bo’s song ‘problematic’ in which the hook includes the phrase ‘isn’t anybody gonna hold me accountable?’ for his insensitive jokes as a late teenager. their self-awareness is what enables their self-evaluative qualities, but self-awareness is its own issue. bojack grapples with a narcissistic view of his own recognition of his behaviour before settling on a more nuanced, albeit depressing take. originally he makes the assumption that in recognising the negative aspects of himself, he is superior to those who behave similarly: ‘but i know im a piece of shit. that makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don’t know theyre pieces of shit.’ eventually, during his time at rehab he is forced to reconcile with the fact that self awareness does not, to put it bluntly, make you the superior asshole, it just makes you the more miserable one. the show does, however, make a point to recognise how the entertainment industry protects ‘pieces of shit’, prioritising their productive value over how much they deserve to be held accountable, demonstrated using characters like hank hippopoalus. the show itself obviously stems from the entertainment industry, as it is a form of media produced by netflix, one of the most popular streaming platforms available. bojack horseman and bo burnham represent the small corner of the industry that is reflective enough to showcase the damage it inflicts. this is powerful in terms of education and awareness, and urges audiences to question their own motives and versions of performance, but the reflection alone is not powerful enough to help the artists in question. burnham’s candid conversations surrounding his mental health continue to reveal a plethora of issues somewhat caused or sustained by the nature of his career. within bojack horseman, bojack is only able to stop hurting other characters when those characters construct a situation that forces him to face consequence, his introspection alone is not enough. while bojack ends on a message of hope, suggesting to the audience that reverting back to the status quo is not the only acceptable way for events to end, it leaves stinging lessons and social commentary with the audience regarding the unnatural and damaging narrative that performers live through. on a similar but markedly different note, bo burnham’s work and personal progression is playing out in real time, and not in a way that is as raw and genuine as it appears. each bit is planned, even the most vulnerable moments that appear unplanned and painful. his latest special is not entirely devoid of hope, but does translate to audiences as a somewhat exaggerated look around the era of social media and the development of performance, using himself as an example.

the absurdist humour that often acts as a vehicle for poignant statements or emotionally provocative questions is very specific to each media creator. bob-waksberg’s use of puns, tongue twisters and entirely ridiculous circumstances served to simultaneously characterise his points as an expected part of the show’s style of humour, similar to bojack’s emotional instability, but also to make them appear gut-punching in comparison to the humour. burnham’s work is similar in that poignant but blunt statements are often sandwiched between absurd and exaggerated jokes, making them stand out via contrast but not giving the audience too much time to dwell upon them as they are said. performance art is second nature to entertainers, and is presented a an issue that is infiltrating the general population via social media rather than solely affecting the ‘elites’. bojack horseman and bo burnham present the duality of artists simultaneously attempting to level the playing field and increase their chances of survival in the industry, and encourage audiences to know that everyone is bluffing and you’ll never have the right cards anyway.

i.k.b

[illegiblewords]

ARCHON THESIS: LAHABREA

Alright, I am going to do my best to make a Lahabrea analysis masterpost. In my opinion the devs have done some incredibly clever and subtle work with him as far back as A Realm Reborn, and while it’s possible they didn’t initially know all the details of his story—I’m actually inclined to think they either had a decent amount in-mind back then, or have managed to retroactively weave things together in a way that effectively creates the results I’ll describe. Either way, this is the picture that makes the most sense to me.

Warning, some spoilers for Endwalker trailers. Also warning this is huge and some of it just turned into info vomit.

First: In ARR, I think it’s important that the player is lulled into a false sense of security with regards to Ascians. Lahabrea’s behavior is confusing and without context makes him look like a flat, generically crazy, loves-explosions sort of villain. However, there are moments even very early on that poke holes in this, such as his exact comments to WoL at Praetorium.



“The growing imbalance afflicting the planet must be redressed. If it is permitted to worsen, the very laws of existence—both aetheric and physical—will be warped beyond all recognition. Know you the root of this corruption? Hydaelyn! Like a parasite, She must be burned out if the planet is to recover. And naught but the return of the one true god will ensure Her complete excision.

Yet to pave the way for the master’s return, a chaotic confluence of untold proportions must needs be brought about. And that will necessitate the presence of the primals. Needless to say, both you and your Scion accomplices can not be suffered to interfere in this endeavor.”

I want to mention here. What Lahabrea is saying legitimately has a lot of overlap with what Avalanche argues in FFVII. Avalanche is framed as heroic.

Lahabrea tells us that existence is at stake and the star is in danger. Hydaelyn, who we now know is a primal Herself, is endangering reality by his account. He even says that the reason for all the chaos and primals is to bring Zodiark back, so he can stop this monumental danger that is Hydaelyn. The Warrior resists because Ascian methods are unacceptable, but the actual threats that Lahabrea is trying to combat sound pretty legitimate.

He’s not out to destroy the world, or to conquer it. He’s not acting for self-interest. Even Zodiark is the means to an end, with that end being the star’s preservation.

Back then, players are encouraged to just kind of take everything Hydaelyn says at face value. We go with whatever worshippers of Hydaelyn say to do and She’s not questioned because She embodies light. Light is just assumed to be good. There are certain clichés in video games, and FFXIV deliberately presents those for players to adopt only to reveal later that their assumptions and simplifications were incorrect.

The Warrior and Scions refer to Lahabrea as an ‘it’ while casually discussing ways to murder Ascians with auracite. In the Japanese version of Nabriales’ death, he screams and begs before he dies. Ascians are dehumanized and treated as acceptable targets for a long time without any understanding of them whatsoever. The Ardor does absolutely need to be stopped. But it’s not insignificant that Ascians are treated by heroic cast members like things rather than people for a long time. Having it revealed in Shadowbringers that the activities of Ascians have been coming from a place of personal tragedy and (given tempering) coercion... that’s pretty significant from a narrative standpoint. It challenges players to consider that even good and heroic people can inadvertently commit acts of excess cruelty or dehumanization. None of us are immune to that type of thinking, and we won’t always be right in our assumptions.

In Lahabrea, SE is making meta commentary by giving his actions and expressions a measure of ambiguity. At face value he seems to fit generic villain clichés… but the thing is, he isn’t living in that kind of world and isn’t that kind of character. Everything he does comes with a reason.

One of the biggest moments for me in terms of ‘opening my third eye’ on Lahabrea actually came with Emet-Selch referring to Lahabrea’s death as a “crowning act of idiocy”. Without angst context I was fucking delighted and laughed a lot, because that moment acknowledged unambiguously that the way Lahabrea acted WAS weird. Other characters looked at and judged him for behaving that way. It endeared both Emet-Selch and Lahabrea to me at the same time for that reason.

It meant that Lahabrea could be looked at as a person, who wasn’t just pushed into certain actions and expressions for the sake of twirling his figurative mustache and acting as a plot device.

(With angst context, I think Emet was going through stages of grief and hit “anger”. I also think that Lahabrea is extremely aware of the disdain other Ascians view or speak of him with and probably makes it worse in his own head. But that’s for later.)

One character revelation I want to cite that come from outside the game itself involves a quote from Yoshida at Gamescom 2019.

“...I think it is the case that either Elidibus or Emet-Selch underestimated Lahabrea.

Because I believe there is some sort of respect between them and also as you can see from one of Emet-Selch's dialogue speech he said Lahabrea would wear out but it is because Lahabrea did quite a lot of work because he was reckoned as a workaholic like me. “

I think there’s an additional quote floating around somewhere that explicitly cites Lahabrea’s soul being damaged but I haven’t found it yet.

The line from Emet-Selch about Lahabrea wearing himself out is:

”Mortal flesh is but the vessel into which we Ascians pour the elixir of our souls, molding it as fits the occasion. Or not, if we so choose. Be it for a year or a millennium, I prefer to retain the same form until my duty is done. So, after arriving here in the First, I fashioned some hapless body into the man you see before you. Though as your friend over there can attest, there are those of us who forgo such alterations. He was ever the rash one, Lahabrea. Jumping from vessel to vessel. Never heeding the toll it took on him.”

This is expanded upon in Ere Our Curtain Falls, from Tales From The Shadows:

"Lahabrea is gone," the voice said softly.

I could hardly continue to feign slumber at that, so I righted myself and turned to face Elidibus. The silence that stretched between us then only affirmed the truth that had gone unspoken.

For us, death was not the end. But "gone"...

"We knew this day would come."

I closed my eyes, letting out a measured breath, or what passed for one in the emptiness of the rift. He was right, of course. Lahabrea's boldness had only grown with the passing of ages─segueing inevitably into recklessness. Across many vessels and many worlds he blazed his trail, each mad leap forward leaving him that much more broken. Not satisfied with having brought about the Seventh Umbral Calamity, he labored needlessly to prolong it.

Was it his affinity for concepts of flame that made him so like the fire itself? From peerless Ifrita to that hopelessly immortal bird, his creations had burned bright and beautiful─as did he.

He should have known what becomes of the flame once all else is ash.

Emet-Selch makes it explicit that Lahabrea’s overwork and body-hopping were actively diminishing him. He describes the actions as rash, reckless, and mad. He also states outright that Lahabrea had been beautiful and passionate, at least at some point. This all supports what Yoshida states about how Lahabrea is a workaholic.

Knowing what we do of Amaurot and its culture, Lahabrea was one of the most revered figures in a society of scholars and specifically worked in phantomology. There is no way he was ignorant to the harm being done to his own soul. Additionally, given that Amaurotine society was so specifically gentle we can reasonably assume that Lahabrea being one of its most respected members wasn’t some kind of sadist.

His convocation crystal reads:

“The time is come. We shall rewrite the laws of creation. And we shall save our star.“

This speaks to Lahabrea’s sincere love for his world and people, as well as his own motive to protect them.

More insight can be found in Elidibus’ memory of Lahabrea in 5.3, which points to him having been kind.

“You worry too much, Elidibus. This dedication to your duty verges on obsession.”

This is especially notable because of the irony and contrast. Lahabrea wasn’t always a workaholic. Before the Final Days he recognizes the value of breaks. The obsessive streak comes later.

With all of this in mind, knowing that Lahabrea at heart isn’t someone who just likes to make others suffer for his own amusement and isn’t just oblivious or believing himself immune to soul damage either, it follows that he is making a choice every time he continues engaging in activities he knows will damage him. Specifically, the body-hopping and overwork. Guy has spent millenia self-harming and it is severe enough that when he is positioned beside Emet-Selch and Elidibus (each level 80 trial bosses), Lahabrea alone qualifies as a footnote boss at the very end of Praetorium at level 50. With Igeyorhm at the Aetherochemical Research Facility, he manages level 60. He is not a trial in either case. He has seriously weakened himself through his actions for eons. As one of only three remaining Unsundered, whose life alone is an irreplaceable resource regardless of anything else, this stands out as counter-intuitive. Even so, Emet-Selch and Elidibus did expect him to get himself killed.

Confirming Lahabrea as Speaker, as well as the regard Amaurot had for Convocation members, is the following quote:

“Hm? 'Twould seem the Hall is host to a most precocious visitor this day. And what, pray tell, shall be the subject of our discussion, young one?

Ah...the Convocation and their handling of the coming peril. 'Tis only natural that you should have questions.

Shall we begin with the members themselves? As all know, the Fourteen are the wisest and most puissant among us. They are the stewards of order, responsible for decisions which keep this star turning season after season.

Be it the speaker, Lahabrea, or the emissary, Elidibus, each seat is occupied by an elected sage of surpassing intellect.

Loghrif, Mitron, Emet-Selch... Their individual titles have, as a gesture of respect and a matter of tradition, become synonymous with their incumbents.

Thus it is with great incredulity that I greet this recent rumor that a seat in the Convocation is soon to be left vacant.

If proven true, 'twould be an unprecedented development─and testament to the immense pressure under which our saviors are toiling... In any event, I for one am confident they shall deliver our star unto salvation. “

At Akademia Anyder, a researcher says:

With time and effort, I hope to become a creator to rival Lahabrea. A master of every recognized creation magick, possessed of boundless imagination and willpower to realize impossibly complex concepts. And a renowned orator besides!

As another personal note on Lahabrea pre-Doom, Akademia Anyder offers the following when the Warrior is stunned Lahabrea was a scholar:

“Oh my, yes. There are few who can match his knowledge and expertise in the field of phantom creation.

You passed through the Words of Lahabrea, did you not? I imagine you found the research material there to be of particular interest, considering the purpose of your visit.“

Regarding the Doom an Amaurotine explains as follows:

“Good gracious, child, where is your family? You should not be alone at a time like this. Run along home. Quickly now!

Have you not heard? Though yet confined to the lands across the sea, a terrible phenomenon afflicts our star. They are calling it the “Final Days.”

'Tis said it starts suddenly, a cacophonous keening from beneath the earth. The sound distorts all living things within earshot, and wrests from us control of our creation magicks.

Once that happens, all is lost. Fear, pain, despair...every dread impulse is siphoned from our minds and given substance: an eternal fall of fiery rain; an incessant spawning of nightmarish beasts...

None can point to the source of the phenomenon. 'Tis as if the star itself has fallen ill─as if a force inimical to life now festers and spreads.

‘Tis only a matter of time until Amaurot, too, resounds to that discordant squall. You should stay with your loved ones, child... Stay with them... “

Within Akademia Anyder, there are notes detailing the Sound’s study specifically by Lahabrea and his followers.

“The instances of spontaneous creation occurring in lands across the ocean are now a confirmed phenomenon. Seemingly unguided by conscious will, these aberrations are said to manifest as malformed “beasts” of nightmarish aspect and unrestrained ferocity.

High-ranking phantomologists have since been dispatched to afflicted areas, where they conducted the capture and transport of a single entity. This specimen, characterized by a disproportionately large maw, was dubbed “Archaeotania”, and investigations to its aetheric composition are ongoing.

A theory posited by the esteemed Lahabrea suggests that the shape these fiendish beings assume is not random, but rather an amalgamation of the fears which lurk beneath our rational minds. As of this writing, researchers have begun pursuing methods by which potent guardians of deliberate design might be engendered to stand against this mounting threat.”

Regarding Archaeotania and its escape, an official at Akademia Anyder says:

“ ...Escaped? I should think not. The Akadaemia Anyder boasts the most-secure facilities and research protocols of any institution on this star.

Ah, but they were scheduled to conduct research on those samples we captured from across the sea. Is it possible they were even more potent than we anticipated?

...Yet even if such were the case, one cannot dismiss the resourcefulness of our scholars─not to mention the presence of the esteemed Lahabrea. Yes, I am certain they will soon have the situation well in hand.

You needn't worry your young mind about such things. And do not be discouraged─'tis a pity your inquiries were disrupted this time, but there will be other opportunities to visit. “

I mention this to show both the confidence citizens had in Lahabrea, and to highlight that Lahabrea was very much unable to contain Archaeotania.

Emet-Selch additionally backs up the nature of the Sound when it strikes Amaurot during Amaurot Dungeon.

“Welcome to the final days of Amaurot...

The fabric of our star began to fray...

...and the unchecked energies of creation begat malformed beasts.

Just as prayer gives rise to Primals, our dread made manifest our deepest fears.

The first beast was striking in its unsightliness

Yet even its defeat did not halt the march of oblivion

The land buckled; the cities burned; the waters ran red with blood…

The beast bellows and gives birth to terror. A terror which, in turn, gives birth to new beasts…

As if feeding upon the horror, the beast bloats… then shivers… then ruptures.

Yet this was far from the worst of it. Come, and I will show you…

Just a little further… And you will see the end of a world.

The star was fading. We saw that we had to weave its laws anew…

But between us and our goal loomed a final misbegotten fiend.

From the depths of despair, the last harbinger arose…

Its voice was fulgent destruction, and none could stand in its path.

And as it edged inexorably closer, we knew...

Without decisive sacrifice, our star would surely perish.“

I mention all of this because I’ve seen some skepticism regarding the Sound’s nature, and I want to stress--it is basically Silent Hill. Every repressed fear is channeled to the surface and manifests in material form as a monster. The design of the monster incorporates the insecurities and terrors of the individual.

Now. Just going off of these lines, what do we know about pre-Sundering Lahabrea?

He was a highly respected scholar and orator, with the position of Speaker within the Convocation. He was a master of all forms of creation magic but specialized in phantomology. He did love and feel protective of his people, being deeply admired and trusted by them in return. He wasn’t always an obsessive workaholic but became one at some point under stress tied to the Doom and/or Sundering. He was characterized by boundless imagination and willpower, was kind, and was respected.

I also want to take a moment to point at the Summoner quests because it is likewise notable that beyond whatever ties he had with sundered Igeyorhm, his sundered black mask assistants were also EXTREMELY loyal to him.

Notable lines:

ASCIAN OF THE TWELFTH SWORD: No more shall we endure your blinding effulgence. There can be no rival to the encroaching darkness.

ASCIAN OF THE TWELFTH PENTACLE: You have earned the ire of Lahabrea’s most loyal servants…

ASCIAN OF THE TWELFTH CHALICE: Did you imagine we would stand idle whilst you tore down our master’s glorious edifice? Face us now, Bringer of Light, and suffer the punishment for your transgressions!

In the name of Master Lahabrea, we pronounce your doom!

And then, later:

ASCIAN OF THE TWELFTH CHALICE: I cannot… I am undone! I have failed you, Master…*gasp* How…? We were raised unto greatness by Lahabrea himself…My master is wary of your strength, Bringer of Light—and rightfully so, it would seem. But your day will come…

None of the assistants cite Zodiark as their motivation. They are, very specifically, loyal to Lahabrea himself. This is interesting when compared to both Elidibus and Emet-Selch’s disdain for sundered mortals. Something about Lahabrea as he interacts with assistants behind the scenes still inspires loyalty.

 Now. The next few things I want to establish come from pictures.

The statues both inside and outside come from the Words of Lahabrea. They are Lahabrea’s concepts. We know that Lahabrea is working on phantomology-based guardians to protect against the Sound. We see Zodiark statues outside with Lahabrea’s other concepts in-development.

Lahabrea is being all but explicitly confirmed as the originator of Zodiark’s concept.

Zodiark’s concept ultimately called for the sacrifice of three-fourths of the star’s population. Lahabrea would not have been able to sacrifice himself to this cause because as a Convocation member and the concept’s creator, his expertise was absolutely required. I also think this is the reason he was one of only three survivors of the Sundering alongside Zodiark’s Heart with Elidibus and the expert on the Underworld/Lifestream who can see souls and potentially elevate past members of the Convocation to continue helping.

Regardless of that--Lahabrea called for insane levels of sacrifice in the hopes of saving his world only to find himself among only three survivors. It was his concept that ultimately fell short. Everyone and everything he tried to protect was let down in the end following his direction. This is a man who has failed a LOT while giving everything he had. If any character is going to have survivor’s guilt it’s going to be him.

The next things I want to point out:

This is Archaeotania, characterized by a disproportionately large maw.

This is The First Beast, lined in mouths, whose head bears a shape reminiscent of Lahabrea’s sigil.

From here, I’m going to piece together the information we have for a timeline of The Final Days.

The Sound begins to manifest across the sea, at first in more localized areas but with increasing severity, area, and frequency.

Lahabrea and his researchers are dispatched to one of the afflicted areas. Here they retrieve Archaeotania and bring it back to Amaurot for study.

Lahabrea, who is an orator and the Convocation’s Speaker, is very badly affected by Archaeotania and possibly what he saw of the Sound’s effects. Even if he wasn’t at first, he certainly was when Archaeotania escaped his control and tore through Akademia Anyder--killing many people.

Lahabrea realizes that despite the trust his people place in him, he is very much fallible. This is not a good mindset to have while developing the last hope your entire world has for survival as per the Zodiark concept.

Added to this, Azem literally quits the Convocation over this concept.

When the Sound hits Amaurot, Lahabrea is among if not the very first to fall prey to its influence. He is likely traumatized by his experienced with Archaeotania. The First Beast manifests his failure and power both, showing the corruption of countless incomprehensible mouths in the wrong places. Calling down fireballs. Bringing death upon his people.

Lahabrea does successfully summon Zodiark with the Convocation, sacrificing Elidibus and half the star to do so. However, the world is absolutely ruined by the Sound. Another half of the remaining population needs to be sacrificed shortly afterward to make things habitable again. This was not originally planned and could only have been devastating.

The Convocation, tempered by now to Zodiark and rightly traumatized by everything that happened, tries to develop a plan to bring back those who lost their lives previously. Venat objects, and further does not believe that Zodiark’s solution will actually protect the star successfully. Lahabrea the Speaker and orator is unable to convince her otherwise.

Venat summons Hydaelyn, who kills pretty much the ENTIRE remaining population short of a deeply altered Elidibus, Emet-Selch, and Lahabrea himself. Lahabrea’s plans, all made to keep his people safe, have resulted in him being one of three people left.

The final three survivors, being tempered, have to dedicate the next 12k years to trying to Rejoin the world through countless genocides and horrifying acts if they want any hope of going home again. This is what it will take to save their world and change what happened.

Now, how does this all relate to what I mentioned at the beginning with Lahabrea’s characterization?

I think Lahabrea absolutely wants to die at this point, but as one of three remaining unsundered souls, as Zodiark’s creator, as the man who Amaurot trusted--he cannot allow himself the luxury of death. If he does his legacy is the man who destroyed and betrayed the world. He cannot demand so much of others without giving everything he possibly can to make things right. He has no boundaries in what he must personally give up in this regard, no standards. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of any situation morally when his plan destroyed the entire star. Lahabrea applies every moment he has in pursuit of the Ardor. However, he runs into a few issues. One: on a personal level the man has no sense of self-worth left and no sense of self-preservation outside duty. Two: living has become agony for him because of his guilt. It keeps him moving toward the Ardor at all times, but he has no peace. He treats his own desires as insignificant in the face of his mission, but this is someone who I seriously believe feels unworthy of survival and wants to end even if he can’t actively seek it. Three: I’m going to go so far as to say it would not surprise me AT ALL to learn Lahabrea wants to be punished for his failures too. Four: if Lahabrea has taken all of the blame for his star’s destruction, there is no way he is going to allow his own personal suffering to burden Elidibus or Emet-Selch further by asking for help. He can’t even let them know the extent of what’s wrong with him, because they’ll interfere. So he lies, and hides, and tries to otherwise disguise the severity of his problems. This I think comes through strongly in his exchanges with Elidibus. And five: after 12k years I’m pretty sure Lahabrea is aware of the scorn many other Ascians hold for him. Nabriales certainly makes no effort to hide it, Emet-Selch seems likely to voice a lot of concern as frustration, and given Emet himself doubted whether Elidibus still cares we can be pretty sure Lahabrea was insecure about it too. Add the whole handing-Nidhogg’s-Eye-to-Ilberd-for-fuel bit and that’s exacerbated like hell.

Anyway, Lahabrea can tell himself that he is giving everything he can to the Ardor by self-harming through overwork and possession, but deep down his lack of self-preservation is a slow suicide by proxy. He can’t admit openly that that’s what it is because if he actively pursues suicide then he is abandoning his people. But seriously, no one hates Lahabrea more than Lahabrea . When he continuously trivializes and dismisses his own pain with such an extreme level of guilt, when he actively seeks situations that leave him increasingly broken and diminished, subconsciously he is opening himself up to be killed.

I’m going to argue that Lahabrea’s points of inappropriate laughter are hysterical rather than “oh I am sincerely happy and having a great time right now.” His “Pathetic” bit at Gaius makes sense from the standpoint that he just heard Gaius belittle any kind of faith rulers might have as weakness only to see him fail spectacularly with Ultima. Lahabrea has failed his people, Gaius claimed to be better because no gods only men, then made abundantly clear he was all talk. It was a slap in the face to everything Lahabrea has done and tried to do for thousands of years.

Lahabrea’s introduction at Toto-Rak is basically him being loopy from exhaustion and talking in a circle about bedtime.

The mighty slayer of Ifrit comes now to me. …With a countenance that bespeaks understanding. An intriguing power, the Echo. I must needs choose my words with care. Mayhap I might if I deign to speak in my guest’s crude tongue. We meet at last. I am Lahabrea of the Ascians, servant to the one true god. Yours is a most fantastical tale. Truly absorbing. It is a tale to tell Eorzea’s children before bedtime. And it will soon be dark, Bringer of Light. All that stands between this world and Darkness is an irksome anomaly in the aether—the Echo. Yes… yours is a most fascinating tale. Alas, like all good tales, it must needs come to an end. But fear not… For the end of your tale is but the beginning of another… The tale of the Crystal’s demise!

In layman’s terms, he basically goes “Oh shit the eikon slayer’s here and knows what I’m saying. Shit. Shit, I’m not ready for this. Don’t fuck this up Lahabrea choose your words carefully you were made for this. You’re Amaurot’s top orator. Four days no sleep is nothing to an Unsundered. OH. OH WAIT. I SOUND STUPID BECAUSE LOOK I’M USING YOUR STUPID LANGUAGE. RIGHT. Hi. I’m Lahabrea and I’m here to tell you about our lord and savior Zodiark. You… you have a weird life. An interesting life. Kids probably think you’re great. Their parents probably tell them about you before bed. And… and kids go to bed at night. When it gets dark. Like… like Zodiark. Who’s also dark. The only thing standing between the world and… and Zodiark’s darkness is the Echo. Which you have. Which is incredibly frustrating. Ah… your weird life isn’t going to last though? But uh. Don’t worry about it. We’ll… we’re all going to kill Hydaelyn ahahahaHAHAHAHA!!!!”

And he runs away.

Seriously, nothing of substance is actually conveyed in that paragraph except that Lahabrea needs to go to bed. He tries to cover it with SAT words but man’s been caught with his pants down.

A quick note for Thancred as well: I remember hearing somewhere (but cannot cite, alas) that Lahabrea chose Thancred as a vessel specifically because they shared a lot of qualities in common. This definitely tracks with guilt and propensity to hide things. It’s also worth mentioning that Lahabrea during the Praetorium fight shouts “NOW MAKE YOUR CHOICE AND LIVE WITH IT HAHAHAHAHA!!!11!!” which is then repeated by Thancred in Heavensward around the conflict with Emmanelain. Thancred also drops a bunch of fire-slogans in Shadowbringers and likely has other Lahabrea-esque lines after his possession.

It’s additionally worth mentioning that pre-Praetorium Lahabrea did a lot of inappropriate laughter stuff (including while the Warrior beats the shit out of him) but post-Praetorium he is way more subdued.

The next piece of heavier analysis I can introduce is that in terms of events and timing, it looks very much like Lahabrea got benched after Praetorium due to injuries. Nabriales was placed under his supervision, and Nabriales seemed to deeply resent it by how he talks about Lahabrea. The idea of Lahabrea being pleased by any news he might deliver is something he considers unfortunate. He also talks about suffering the overweening presence of Lahabrea. With context and knowing he (like Mitron and Loghrif) will have his pre-sundering memories through his Convocation crystal, these elements actually make me wonder if Nabriales blames Lahabrea for everything that happened around the Doom as well. When Nabriales dies, Lahabrea tells Elidibus that Nabriales got himself killed more or less. I’d argue that he says this specifically because if Elidibus knows Lahabrea feels guilty for Nabriales dying on HIS missions, dealing with a mess HE failed to clean up, Elidibus would never allow Lahabrea to re-enter the field. Guy lied.

Previously in a meeting among the entire Convocation, Lahabrea shows up late (possibly was not supposed to be there due to recovering) and his input amounts to trying to convice Elidibus that he is able to go back into action because Ishgard is easy to push toward disaster. He tries to make this appeal to Elidibus again in their one-on-one scene with his “by my will” line--he’s basically arguing to Elidibus “I can do this please let me show I can do this.” Elidibus correcting him with “by His will” basically treats the plea as an exercise in ego, when it’s actually Lahabrea wanting to prevent his misstep with the Warrior of Light from costing anyone further.

When he entreats Igeyorhm’s help, it’s because Igeyorhm has also messed up spectacularly with her work on the Thirteenth. She of all people will understand Lahabrea’s need to fix mistakes. The reason he asks her for help at all is because even with his self-destructive streak, Lahabrea at that point I think was still injured from Praetorium and knew he would not be able to manage a solo fight against the Warrior. And in good conscience, even if he does consider himself personally worthless--his life as an unsundered is a limited resource that needs to be preserved. There is more he can and must do for Amaurot.

Except by asking Igeyorhm for help, he gets her killed in front of his own eyes trying to fix his mistake.

If you look at Mateus, the Esper tied to Lahbrea’s Scion of Light in Final Fantasy XII, Mateus has this blurb to offer:

Scion of darkness ruling and protecting those who live in the underworld, in opposition to Lahabrea the Abyssal Celebrant and scion of light. In the course of his rule, he submitted to avarice, and the darkness took his heart, transforming him until he was both evil and corrupt. Then in his cowardice did he bind a Goddess of the Demesne of Ice, and using her as a living shield, he challenged the gods.

I 100% would believe Lahabrea would feel like a coward for asking Igeyorhm for help, and Igeyorhm is a very icy lady.

A few additional analysis points:

- Ishikawa essentially confirmed in a PCGamesN interview in 2019 that Lahabrea was alive and trapped inside the Eye of Nidhogg being used like a battery at minimum until Estinien pierced it. Her quote is:

With Lahabrea, he wasn’t literally put into the White Auracite. But he was absorbed into the dragon’s eye, and Estinien pierced it.

- Elidibus for all that he accuses the Warrior of Light of killing Lahabrea, very likely handed Lahabrea to Ilberd as fuel for Shinryu without knowing it.

Consider Shinryu breaking its own mouth open to fire more powerful beams of energy, and sharing fight animations with Archaeotania.

Consider also:

Lahabrea is absolutely the Dreamer my dudes. And his nightmares of the Sound are being broadcast to bring it back for real.

Endwalker’s monsters are absolutely drawing from his oral fixation.

And when they don’t draw from his oral fixation, they present corrupted versions of other concepts of his.

- Lahabrea is very, very likely Thaliak in the same way that Azem is Azeyma and Azim.

For evidence I bring forward his wholly unaltered datamined character model:

Compare with Ascian Prime:

Compare with Thaliak PVP bandana:

Compare with Thaliak’s Astrologian card design:

Compare with the Thaliak statue from the Endwalker trailer:

Additionally, in FFXII Mateus and Lahabrea are associated with Pisces--and so fish. Lahabrea in FFXIV has been mainly tied to fire, but his Convocation crystal remains light blue and Pisces.

As a bonus note...

Tupsimati, what Nabriales refers to as “The Key” and got himself killed trying to obtain, the weapon wielded against Bahamut and Shinryu both, has the mark of Thaliak. Original property of Lahabrea.

I could go on about Lahabrea’s ties to the Sephirot fight, Byakko, worm imagery tied to sin in the lyrics of Thunder Rolls with Ramuh, and even the process of preparing bodies for burial according to elements in thaumaturge lore relative to fire, ice, and lightning. But this is big enough lol. EDIT: I did further analysis on these points after all for anyone interested!

Tl;dr Lahabrea urgently needs therapy.