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ballorawan740 · 3 years

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SCP Scenarios: Yandere!SCP x Evil!Reader

Requested by: @Charlie_Sharlotte

So a little bit of context here:

Yes, I've done a Yandere!SCP x Reader before, but this one has a slight twist to it as requested by the user

The reader is just an ordinary human, just like my other post (you can get quick access HERE)

The only difference being how the Yandere!SCPs would react and the reader is evil

I'll be basing this off my other post, if you see something that's rather similar, that's why

SCP 073 (Cain)

When you first met Cain, neither of you had thought of much at first and just greeted each other as usual

Then, of course, you both became really good friends

Some would even say you both were inseparable as wherever they see with of you, the other would be close by

Not long after, you both just started dating which just happened

His yandere traits would gradually come through, but since it wasn't much different to his usual self, none of you would've noticed the change

Apart from you, of course, cus this man wouldn't let you be in harm's way and if you were, he would have to be with you the whole entire time

When Cain discovers that you work for another GOI, he was shocked and tried to -forcefully- make you stay loyal to the foundation which didn't work well

You stayed loyal to the Serpent's Hand and Cain warned the other members of the foundation

Not only did you find out about the news, but you were also very much aware of Cain's yandere tendencies in which you warned your team about this

The news that you were working with the Serpent's Hand got to the O5 council to which they kept a close eye on you

However, some would even call them bluff as you had made your way through the rankings in less than a year, displaying your intelligence and 'loyalty towards the foundation

As well as this, you were able to deceive most of the staff at the foundation, so you would be the last person anyone would suspect if there were an issue between the Foundation and the Serpent's Hand

Due to the love-hate relationship between both parties, the O5 Council had announced you as the 'bridge' between both the Foundation and the Serpent's Hand if either party were in need of help, within the reason of course

As for you and Cain, you tried to distance yourself but Cain's yandere tendencies forbid from that happening

And so you stayed, thinking that you could use him as a scapegoat

SCP 076 (Abel)

Abel gets slightly physical when he's a yandere

Like hella physical to the point he'd tie you up in his box and go on full rage mode if anyone tries to help save you or even question about your whereabouts

However, since you were one of the hostile type SCPs used by the Serpent's Hand, you knew that you could use Abel's yandere traits to your advantage

Since you weren't a yandere yourself, you would more often than not, find yourself trapped in his box

But since you had the ability to summon just about anything out of thin air, just like Abel, you were able to record and complete your tasks without being disturbed

Even though Abel knew that you were a hostile SCP, he was somehow oblivious to your abilities and your secret mission in the Foundation

The O5 council were concerned and intrigued that you were willing to be trapped inside his box and when asked, you kept silent

Abel would do anything to keep you by his side which was annoying if you had something to do, but you were a master manipulator so you were able to bribe him

As for the foundation staff, you could play off as not so hostile for now type SCP unless you were provoked, so most of the time, they'd just leave you in your containment room

During one of the containment breaches, Abel discovered that you were working for another GOI and attempted to question you about this but to no avail

As for the O5 council, they were able to get some information bout you from Abel, but it didn't help very much other than the fact you worked for a GOI

Neither the O5 council nor Abel knew which group you worked for and the council debated on whether to terminate you or not

They have come up with a conclusion to not terminate you for now as you were able to stop Abel from breaching the foundation

However, they had to keep a close eye on you both due to your activities with another GOI and may manipulate Abel into assisting you

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

This adorable little yandere orange blob here is the reason why most people in the foundation would suspect you as an enemy to the foundation

As in, either trying to destroy the world, working for another GOI or both, type of way

When 999's yandere traits kick in, he'd definitely be slightly possessive when he'd jealous but no more than that

999 would most definitely be oblivious to your evil traits until he sees it for himself, just like Abel

I feel that the foundation staff also wouldn't suspect a thing since you have that pure, innocent vibe

Since you give off those vibes, you tend to get away with thingy hella easily, sometimes it would go right under the noses of the O5 council, even though you're doing it right in front of them

I have high doubts that anyone would've caught you in the act of betraying the foundation or kidnapping the SCPs

And even if they did and was absolutely certain it was you, most of the others would call them delusional

There was that one time where 999 caught you with another SCP and got hella jealous but you were able to persuade him to stop ignoring you

The second time he caught you was when you were in the middle of releasing some Keter and Euclid class SCPs but wasn't able to stop you or warn the others in time

When the doctors found out, it was too late and you were with the Choas Insurgency

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

This little sh- right here would literally threaten to kill everyone you've ever cared about right in front of you and he would do it again and again

Luckily, you were cunning and deceitful, some would even say that you come across as suave in what you're doing

And in this case, you would play along with 682 like a game and this giant MF wouldn't even know (cuz he do be thicc)

The foundation is well aware of 682 being such a yandere and it's not like they could do anything other than observe

However, what's even scarier is you being able to multitask in various fields, making you a perfect doctor/agent they have

You were also planning on releasing the SCPs just for your own gain and would even go as far as deceiving the other GOIs just for some helping hand and gathering some intel

Not only that, you have used 682 as your scapegoat many times since he was known for causing various breaches

During that time, you were able to free most SCPs with a little help and those agents would soon be declared missing or dead under mysterious circumstances

Nobody would ever suspect you since you put on such an innocent facade and portrayed yourself as just someone who did as they're told

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

As a yandere, 049 would most definitely be similar to 035 and tie you up as a punishment

Sometimes, he would even go as far as using his 'subordinates' to monitor you while you were being left alone in a room while he's doing something

Normally, 049 would avoid punishing you and would explain to you what you did wrong with a harsher tone as if to intimidate you

However, as time went by, you've learnt a lot from the doctor and was able to adapt to various situations just like him

Being an ordinary human being, you'd constantly have to avoid touching his hands with yours or if you ever remembered, you'd wear gloves in case 049 would hold yours out of nowhere

If there were any breaches, the first thing he'd do is to look for you and make sure that you're by his side constantly

Little did he know, you were the corporate behind the breach as you wanted to seek revenge on the foundation for taking your family away and killing them all

And of course, you've learnt from the best from those around you, especially 049

In your head, you planned to use 049 to your advantage like always, but instead of using him as a scapegoat, you were planning on getting him to go against the foundation's will and join you

However, a part of you also wanted to use him as a scapegoat since all he does is dote around you and be possessive af

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

This yandere right here is not only possessive but manipulative af and if you didn't know any better, you would've been wrapped around his fingers

But you did know better, so like many other 'evil people, you used this at your advantage since you know that 035 is all over you

You were amazing at seducing both men and women, but mainly guys, hand to hand combat, hacking, weapon knowledge and even cross-dressing, but you'd much rather not do that and hide in the dark (you introverted shy mf)

From time to time, you were able to make 035 leave you as you had "behaved well and should be rewarded" as 035 puts it

During that time, you'd hack into the Foundation's most secretive files and grab all the information you needed in order to achieve whatever goals you intended to finish

Not even 035 or the Foundation knows about this and if they ever catch on about the hacking incident, they wouldn't even take a second thought that it was you (since you have such a pretty face and nobody would suspect a thing, you're welcome for the compliment)

Since you were reliable, independent and trustworthy in the Foundation's eyes and you were able to adapt to 035's persona and adopt it into your work, you'd occasionally be sent to the other GOIs as an undercover spy

Little did everyone know, you used every bit of tool and would even use your position as an undercover to blackmail and even spill out the secrets of your mission just to get to where you want anyone to be

The Foundation would never have guessed your goals and would consider this incident as a slip-up and allow you to continue if you were able to keep everything under control

Not only that but they were soon informed that wherever you go, an individual or a whole team of people from the GOIs, including the Foundation's, would go missing or dead

Nobody knows why and they wouldn't even dare to question your authority since you were so high up

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

You were just one of the cleaners at the Foundation which so happened to bond well with 096 despite him being a yandere

096 as a yandere wasn't as bad as the others as he'll only go into depression or possessive mode, but even then, he was still handleable (IT'S CUZ HE HAS THAT MFING FACE THAT NO MOTHER COULD LOVE)

Anyways, I doubt that 096 would have enough intelligence to gather that you're evil for quite some time, but that doesn't mean that he's completely stupid

Moreso oblivious since he wouldn't believe anyone who says that you're working for another organisation and that you're just using him

When he went back to his cell, you came to check up on him and heard him crying, so you asked what happened

He told you all the 'lies' about you working for Chaos Insurgency and you quickly dismissed that with ease, knowing that 096 will only listen to you

You had informed your captain/team leader about the Foundation catching on and they made sure that you're still 'clean' and sent a couple of others to aid you

Once everyone got a hold of your plan, 096 quickly came out and snatched you, but not before killing all the agents

Basically, he's your personal bodyguard and servant who just happens to be depressed and slightly possessive

SCP 105 (Iris)

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

Iris is beyond possessive

She'll basically tie you up for days if she wanted to and you would have to try and outwit her since she has military training

Outwitting her would be hard since she's rather intelligent too

So what you did was to listen to her for quite some time in order to buy some time for your crew to sneak in and grab whatever they need before they flee

You made sure to be extra kind and sweet to our Iris here since she somehow managed to regain access to her camera

Your team was quickly notified so they proceeded with caution

Just because you managed to fool Iris doesn't mean you could fool the Foundation

As the Foundation proceed to warn Iris, you attempted to reassure her that it's not what it looks like, but she's not stupid at all

Depending on the situation, she might tie you up for days if not weeks and let you consume the tiniest amount of food and water

However, if you somehow managed to free yourself, defend yourself if she fighting you or outwit her, you would run back to your base to never be seen again

SCP 106 (Old Man)

An old yandere like 106 would make ordinary people think he's just old, crippled and possessive as well as perhaps a sugar daddy (Sorry, not)

Anyhow, aside from him being such a yandere, he wouldn't exactly notice you being evil and all unless it's explicitly shown in front of him and even then, he wouldn't believe it

The researchers, however, did manage to catch onto your evil side as you were midway through releasing various SCPs, including 682, 939 (FREE MY PET PLS), 049 and a couple of other well known Keter and Euclid class SCPs

They tried to arrest you and take you into full custody and interrogate you with the help of 105 and you found out soon that they both had a deal

The deal was that the researchers would get as much information out of you before disposing you to 106

You took advantage of this deal and managed to send a message to your team about it just to make sure that you're protected and someone would be sent to help you

Once you've done your mission in freeing certain SCPs, you were tasked to shut down or destroy the Foundation but failed

And not only that but your team were also caught in assisting you and breaking free the SCPs and were then killed on site

Since you were caught, your team leader sent down another dispatch to kill you and retrieve all the necessary information they needed

But since you didn't tell the Foundation everything you knew, they made an agreement with you by telling them everything you knew in exchange for your safety and you obliged

You also went to 106 and made him have a deal with both you and the researchers, but knowing the old man, you're more likely going to be killed by that SCP than by your team

Dr Simon Glass

This mf softie of a yandere right here would definitely know you're up to something

I mean, he's a psychologist, so of course, he'll get inside of your head before you would even blink twice

He wouldn't call you out just yet since he doesn't know the full extent of you working under someone or if you're working for yourself and using others to your own advantage

As for you, you knew that Simon wouldn't just let you go if he ever found out on what you're plotting and nor would he help bail you out just because you asked so nicely

So to avoid this problem, you asked your fellow subordinates from Dr Wondertainment to help cover for you

The MTFs caught on that there was newly discovered SCPs on their site and were quickly ordered to exterminated, neutralise or capture them for the safety of them and the others and to conduct further research

Little did they know, it was your little stunt to just get closer to Dr Glass and to use him in your plans

After many months of studying each and every SCPs and conducting a plan for your team, the researchers finally discovered that it was you behind all the mess with the help of Simon Glass

Realising that it is too dangerous for you to be working along in the Foundation, you fled,, leaving Simon Glass all alone and wanting to keep you in his room forever

Simon demanded a search party to find you but was denied

Since you've been caught already, you sent somebody else to do the work for you

And that assistant just so happens to look just like you (totally not your evil twin or anything)

Dr Jack Bright

Jack Bright had you locked up in a chamber below the Foundation when he had discovered you being the culprit behind the recent breaches and other related incidents

You were just as vicious and deadly as most of the best agents the Foundation ever has and staying in the Foundation had just turned you insane and just as sadistic

You enjoyed causing so much chaos, leaving all the innocent, cheery memories behind and new friends and family you've made along the way was long gone

Bright wasn't stupid, he may be goofy and somewhat chaotic at times, he'd been in the Foundation for longer than anyone (he'd also be earning more than the amount of money in your bank account)

He's definitely one of the most intelligent doctors and most definitely has access to most files and holds more secrets than any seniors in the Foundation

There's no doubt that he would find out about you and lock you up in no time

Knowing you, he's very much certain that you'll wreak havoc on the Foundation within a matter of hours for no apparent reason

The other staff would deem you as an SCP but Bright dismisses that and nobody has ever heard of you since

He tortured you for hours and its no wonder why you'd become so visibly and mentally insane

Dr Alto Clef

Clef was able to somehow find a way to unlock your secrets about you working with another GOI named Church of the Broken God

And despite having to work together with a handful of times, both GOIs remain enemies, so Alto would have to keep a close eye on you

On occasions, he would blackmail you, chain you up and inflict pain on you just to get some intel off from you

However, little did he know, you've learnt from the best liars and was able to conceal the truth from him

Clef may be good at finding information on a person and threaten others, but you were able to adapt as quick as the speed of light and was manipulative just like him

Unlike the others, Clef would most definitely snitch on you, but that's no surprise since you've done just that to him with the Church of the Broken God

Moreover, Clef didn't know that you were married to someone working for the very same GOI and was shocked once he found out

The Foundation found it difficult to track you and your spouse since you're both highly trained along with the data you've gathered on the foundation staff and SCPs

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Benjamin Kodraki, another softer yandere, would have never known that you worked with the Deer College if it wasn't for his butterflies

He would give you the benefit of the doubt at first, but when you kept doing his questions and threats, he would give in and tell the O5 council

They would dismiss Kondraki at first, but once they've discovered a chain of unusual events happening at the Foundation, they knew it was much more than just a coincidence and took action

Kondraki aided them in finding you, but to no avail, except for one of your long term friends (you have friends?! what a shocker)

He had chained up your friend and they exposed your hideout spot which just so happened to be right underneath the Foundation

When he had found you, he forcefully dragged you up to his room and tied you up as you saw your friend's lifeless body beside you

You hated him because of his yandere tendencies and tried to break free

Luckily for you, the professors at the College managed to set you free, fleeing with you before Kondraki and the other members of the Foundation could do anything

Later on, Kondraki soon realised that you were in the Deer College just to gain additional knowledge and to retrieve some samples of the SCPs in the Foundation to conduct your own research and art collection

Not only that, you were exceptionally good at history and social science and Invocations and Summoning which was why you picked both subjects to study further with your creativity in the art department as your hobby

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hhhecates · 3 years

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After the fushiguro and maneater!reader as the slandering duo of Jujutsu High, I hereby come back offering you the soft version of this headcanon cause now I can't get it out of my head, so let's cry together.

Megumi was never the type for affection. He doesn't know if it's because of his family history, because of a father who was never there in the first place and a mother that died too soon, or for whatever else reason. Megumi doesn't like thinking it's because of his parents, because of his family. He doesn't like giving his dad too much credit when he can't even remember his face in the first place, he doesn't like putting his mother at fault when she had none. He doesn't like the thought of still being affected by things happened so long ago and that should just stay in the past. Because he especially doesn't like the thought of having unresolved matters, of holding a grudge for how things "could have been", because he knows he holds no resentment at all. So, why, why would this affect him?

He, instead, likes thinking that he's just like that. Megumi knows he likes having his boundaries, maybe that's all.

He's just like that. Wrinkles his nose at the mere mention of affection, and when his friends tease him about how obvious he's being about his distaste, megumi even rolls his eyes, muttering about how he was never trying to be subtle in the first place.

Fushiguro prefers it when people keep their distance from him, both physically and metaphorically. When young he would swat away his sister's hands trying to mess up his hair, and in the same fashion now he turns away more than a little miffed by his sensei's antics or pinches between his fingers the arm gojo ever so often throws over his shoulders with a grumpy mumble of "please get off".

It's a surprise to everyone, to megumi himself too, when he allows itadori and nobara a little closer, just a little closer to his heart and his mind.

Fushiguro takes nobara's annoying poking and yuji throwing his arm over him with little more than a playful scoff (to which ofc gojo is outraged, but megumi merely ignores him).

And not for surrender (cause admittedly the two of them are just as annoyingly touchy as gojo) but because for the first time megumi truly doesn't mind.

He listens to kugisaki rambling about whatever little thing upset her for hours to no end, offering little hums of acknowledgement from time to time (which would probably piss off nobara if megumi were anyone else, but coming from him? It's already a big achievement and nobara knows he's actually listening to her intently). He even gives in (and every single time too) to yuji's pleads to let him play around with his divine dogs.

Megumi has learnt to stand a little taller, not minding anymore when his shoulders brush into itadori's or when he sits close to nobara. Fushiguro even relishes it, when they're all together. It's comfortable, he would dare say.

And then megumi realizes that it's different, he doesn't know what is, but it just is. It feels different, a little more safe: when Inumaki senpai pats his shoulder or when maki senpai bonks his head with one of her weapons after training.

It feels a little safer. But still not secure.

Fushiguro still doesn't let anyone even step in his room, smacks itadori across the head when he does as much as peak inside. He still sits two steps away from all the others when they eat together, he does it every time, and every time maki and nobara yell at him to sit closer, and only then he acquiesces.

And sometimes it's so downright ridiculous and hilarious that's borderline painful, because fushiguro still gets all cross eyed and defensive when nobara gets too close to him when she tries to "tame that damn porcupine on your head, girls won't even look your way looking like that", but the same fushiguro won't even flinch when in every battle he gets the most bruises, when blood trickles down his temple or out of his mouth, when he doesn't esitate one second to push itadori out of the way and take the blow in his place.

Megumi doesn't like affection, soft touches that might be deceiving, you never know when they can turn sour. Hell, fushiguro is ashamed to admit that probably he'd take a punch over a caress, because at least with the former he'd be sure of what's coming.

Maybe that's why he gets along so well with reader after all.

Reader whose words can hurt much more than a punch, and that even when courteous or sugarcoated, they're still never fake. Reader who is caustic and sarcastic but attentive and caring if they choose to care about you.

It starts with fushiguro just following on their words and attitude, his growing habit of teaming up with them in discussions is his own way to get closer to them.

Then he allows himself closer too, because reader too, sits two steps away from all the others at lunch, but when inumaki or maki point it out, they just say it's fine and don't worry about it, now it's fushiguro who takes it upon himself to sit in the middle, to sit in between those two steps away that now just make him one step closer to both reader and the rest of the group.

Fushiguro is the one that notices that reader not only steps away but flinches when you get too close, and reader is the one that asks megumi if it's okay for them to touch his hair and brush off the leaf that got tangled in it.

It's not a surprise, when reader is the first one allowed in fushiguro's room, because megumi just can't fucking sleep, and he asks reader for comfort, and reader nods understandingly, the dark circle under their own eyes telling of their own troubles sleeping.

What instead comes as a surprise, is how the two most pissy and introverted and sarcastic individuals of Jujutsu High, i.e. reader and fushiguro, actually turn out to be the most soft and touch starved. The two of them probably become cuddle buddies and always nap together because they find so much safety and comfort in each other. Also they're probably the only ones that never mind each other touch (like brushing hair out of theit eyes, getting an eyelash from the other's cheek) because while they always have their guard set on high, fushiguro and reader know that when they decide to do something like that for the other it's always out a place of utter respect and care (and not to be a menace, looking right at you gojo).

This would prob leave everyone dumbfounded, inumaki and yuuta first and foremost since they are the closest to reader: especially yuuta because he is reader's best friend, but they're prob still pretty awkward around each other (pliz, shy babies) he's not jealous or anything though ofc, inumaki though, yeah he's jealous and really open about it.

Itadori and nobara, instead, probably end up joining the nap times because they are annoying little shits like that and reader loves them too much to say anything. Fushiguro tries to act annoyed but they can't even take him seriously.

Also please, naps become so chaotic with nobara and itadori, they probably end up all in tagled limbs and tumbling on the floor, the blanket nowhere to be seen.

With time though, more people join, cause inumaki is a menace and won't be left out, so naps time become chilling sessions with all the second and first years laying on the floor and talking or just resting, especially after missions.

And now? Now megumi thinks that maybe he doesn’t mind affection after all.

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jalapeno-princess · 3 years

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12:53 A.M.

“Don’t start with me. I’m mad at you.” You giggled softly to yourself as you continued your movements in palming your boyfriend through his sweatpants.

“Hm, is that so? Your words deceive you baby. Your mouth says one thing, but the way your cock is hardening at just my touch alone says a completely different thing.”

His breath hitched as soon as you shoved your hand in to his underwear; feeling him through the cloth material wasn’t the same as feeling him bare without any restraints. Once you pulled him out completely from his boxers and gripped the bottom of his shaft firmly in your palm, the breathy moan that fell from his pretty lips went straight to your core and sent you in to a frenzy.

“F—fuck. Y/n. I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work—you—you were naughty tonight—mmm.”

“How was I naughty? What did I do wrong? I was just dancing with Jinyoung. I asked you to come with me to the dance floor but you were being boring and just sat at the table—“

Mark glared at your words and to your surprise, he brought his hand up against your neck and wrapped his fingers around it all but gently; making sure to press down on your pressure point with his thumb. Both you and your boyfriend were huge fans of the choking kink. More so you whenever Mark would wrap his fingers around your throat. Something about it was so dominant—so sexy.

He made direct eye contact with you and his glare was sending warmth to your core. You were confident that if he were to touch you, you’d practically be as wet as the ocean. A little over two hours ago, you and your boyfriend met up with his group of friends at one of the more popular night clubs your city had to offer for your mutual friend Jackson’s birthday.

The night started off really well; upon arrival, everyone began taking shots and updating each other on what was going on in their respective lives. It didn’t take you too long to get tipsy; honestly you were the definition of a lightweight. You could get drunk on two shots of vodka and a bottle of beer—which is exactly the reason why you found yourself vehemently wanting to dance as soon as you heard the DJ begin to play your favorite song.

Knowing how much of an extrovert your boyfriend was, you knew not to expect him to follow suit when you asked him to join you on the dance floor. No matter how overprotective the older boy was and how he always had to keep an eye and his hands on you, he wasn’t going to put himself in a situation where he would be uncomfortable. Mark hated going to clubs—he never understood why his friends wasted their money on shitty alcohol and even shittier music.

The only reason he agreed to go tonight, well—other than the fact that Jackson practically begged him, is because you told him you wanted to go. The last thing your boyfriend would ever do is allow you to go somewhere surrounded by drunk, high and horny men who would probably take advantage of you while you were under the influence. It wasn’t that Mark didn’t trust you. That was far from the truth. The older boy trusted you with his life; it’s just that he knew what guys his age were capable of and the last thing he would ever do was allow you to end up in a dangerous situation he wouldn’t be able to protect you from.

As much as he trusted all of his friends, he was well aware that they weren’t going to take care of you; they could barely take care of themselves while on a night out. After being rejected by Mark, you spotted his friend Jinyoung dancing alone by himself not too far from where your group of friends were hanging out and snuck away while your boyfriend began a conversation with Yugyeom about a new video game the younger boy was interested in.

You didn’t think much of it, Jinyoung was a very sweet person and out of Mark’s group of friends, you were the closest with him. All you wanted to do was dance and once you made your way over to the older boy, he was quick in agreeing to your suggestion of dancing together. Other than Mark, Park Jinyoung was the definition of a gentleman.

He didn’t allow his hands to wander any lower than your waist and although you knew a part of it had to do with the fact that he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, you had a huge feeling he didn’t want to get in trouble with your boyfriend. For the most part, you and Jinyoung were in your own little worlds; enjoying the other’s presence while keeping a good distance between one another.

However, when the song changed to a more upbeat and sexual tune, he asked you if you wanted to return back to the table; not wanting to overstep his boundaries—but instead of making your way back to the six other guys, you turned around so that your backside was facing him and began to playfully back up against his body. Slowly, you started to move your body vigorously along to the music; allowing your ass to grind against his thigh.

You were surprised to say the least when Jinyoung pressed himself closer against you—specifically because you didn’t take Jinyoung as the type of person to be straightforward—especially since you were dating one of his best friends. You were well aware that you were swimming in dangerous waters; not only did you slip away from your boyfriend’s sight without telling him of your whereabouts, but you were currently dancing all but innocently with someone he considered a brother to him.

The two of you were both drunk off of your asses, but it didn’t give either of you the excuse to be in such close proximity of each other. Before you could make a comment about the way Jinyoung’s hands began to wander lower down your back the longer you continued to dance together, you were soon being yanked away from Jinyoung and towards the exit of the club.

It didn’t take a genius to know exactly who was tugging at your wrist; nor did it take you long to pick up on your boyfriend’s newfound anger. He didn’t say a word as he roughly led you towards the door. Mark was a man of actions—he never needed to say a thing. You could tell what he was thinking or how he was feeling just by the way he would act. It took a lot for Mark to get mad; he tried his best to contain his anger because for anyone who knew of him, they were well aware that he could get really terrifying whenever he was agitated and Mark was one of those people who were ten times scarier when they were upset.

The two of you have been together for almost three years now and you could count the amount of times that you argued with each other on one hand. Communication was key in your relationship, so you would talk things out whenever the two of you had a disagreement. Honestly, that’s one of the main reasons why you felt your relationship with Mark was so healthy. You told each other every single thing no matter how big or small that went on in your life. The two of you went everywhere together—wherever you went, he would be right there beside you.

Unfortunately, if and when you did bicker, it was normally over your boyfriend’s envious tendencies. Everyone and their mothers were aware of how jealous Mark could get and he was very vocal about his jealous tendencies. Your boyfriend wasn’t someone who’d beat around the bush. If something bothered him, he wouldn’t hesitate to speak up about his feelings. You’d like to consider yourself close with his group of friends; whenever they would all hang out together, Mark made sure to take you along with them.

Sometimes, you’d hang out with a few of his friends while he would be at work or in class. They were practically family to you—but that didn’t stop them from jokingly flirting with you just to mess around with their oldest friend and get on his nerves. One time, Jaebeom and Youngjae had to pull Mark away from BamBam before the younger boy could receive a black eye for questioning what you were like behind closed doors. Although everyone made fun of how seemingly obsessed your boyfriend was over you, you found it very sweet and extremely sexy.

His protective and possessive nature only made it all the more apparent that he was head over heels in love with you. He brought you to his car and didn’t say a thing. Once you were both buckled in to your seats, he sped off in the direction of your shared apartment. His jaw was tightened all the while he clenched his fists. At one point, he began running through red lights; obviously not giving a shit at the idea of being pulled over.

Most people would be intimidated by his cold demeanor, but you were getting more and more turned on as you continued to observe his heated reaction. Right as you both pulled up to your parking structure, he wasted no time in making his way up to your unit—not even looking back to see whether you were following behind him. Shockingly, you didn’t feel hurt with the way he was acting. If anything, you were excited for what was to come.

Mark was such a wonderful boyfriend; people claim that nobody is perfect, but in your eyes—Mark was nothing less than a perfect person. He was devastatingly handsome; he had to be the most attractive man you have ever laid your eyes on. He also had a heart of gold; he was very generous, extremely considerate, soft spoken, gentle, patient and humble. In more or less words, Mark Tuan was nothing short of perfect.

From the time you were a little girl, you have always been in love with the thought of love. Whenever you’d picture the type of guy you’d end up spending the rest of your life with, the beautiful boy right in front of you was everything you could have asked for and more.

“You knew exactly what you were doing grinding up on Jinyoung—“

“Well, I could have been grinding up on you—I wanted to be grinding up on you. You look so fucking hot as always Mark. I know the dance floor isn’t your scene, but I was hoping that maybe, just maybe you’d build the courage to let loose and have fun with me. Oh, and I wasn’t grinding on him, I know my limits babe. The only dick I want to rub on is yours. But right now, there’s a lot more I want to do with you. There’s a lot I want you to do to me too.”

Mark was quick to smash his face against the crook of your neck and placed a wet kiss right below your jaw once you wrapped your fingers around the base of his dick. He was hard as a rock; his tip was leaking precum and you could feel him throbbing against your fingertips. Your boyfriend groaned in pleasure as you squeezed his length all but gently; his raspy voice and the feeling of his teeth dragging along your nape sent chills down your spine.

You might have been in control for the time being, but from past experiences—you were well aware that Mark was going to take over and show you just how jealous you’ve made him. This was the first time you did something to tease him; to taunt him and to mess around with him with one of his friends. They might have jokingly flirted with you or touched you in ways to get on his nerves, but this time—you were the one to initiate what went down just a few hours prior. Honestly, you were so excited for the rough, nasty, steamy sex that you were confident was going down not too long from now.

“I don’t think you deserve my cock at all tonight after the stunt you pulled. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on. My eves never left you once when you made your way on to the dance floor nor did they waver as you and Jinyoung got a little too close for comfort. I will admit, I was jealous seeing him having fun with you the way I wish I could. I’m sorry I’m so introverted and that I don’t like putting myself out there. I’ll try to let loose more and be the boyfriend that can adapt to whatever it is you want to do—“

As soon as you heard his insecurities, you felt your heart sink. You knew that Mark wasn’t the biggest fan of the club and bar scenes and you were also aware of the fact that he was claustrophobic. Sure, you wanted it to be your boyfriend who was pressed up against you while you were having such a great time, but you should have respected his feelings of not wanting to do something that made him uncomfortable. There were things that he enjoyed that you weren’t a fan of, but he never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to. By dancing with Jinyoung, you made him feel bad about not being more outgoing. It made you feel like complete and utter shit.

“Mark, baby—I’m sorry if I made you feel insecure tonight. That wasn’t my intention, nor did I want you to feel like I don’t have fun with you because you aren’t in to the same interests that I am. I’m the one who should have better understood that you already did not want to be there. So it probably took you a lot of courage to come with us. You’re wonderful just the way you are my love. I don’t want you to change a thing about yourself. If anything, I’m the one who needs to accept the fact that there are certain activities that make you uncomfortable. I went a little too far—I just wanted a reaction out of you and I’m just really sorry.”

He gave you a soft smile and pecked your lips ever so softly before biting on your bottom lip and sucking on it. Your entire body was in flames at this point and you were going to let him do whatever it is that he wanted to do to you.

“Oh, you got a reaction alright. You got a reaction ever since I saw you walk out in this dress. This fucking dress—I thought I told you the last time I took it off of you that this dress should be for my eyes only. I caught so many guys looking at you tonight and I can’t blame them. Your body was handcrafted by God—your body is lethal and this dress only made it look all the more perfect and ridiculously sexy. I bet you made Jinyoung fucking hard tonight. What a little slut you are my pretty baby. I’m sure if I didn’t take you away you would have felt how excited you made him. It doesn’t matter though—“

You were too busy drooling over his words to feel him unzip your dress. His fingers grazed against your nipples and it was then that you let out a soft whimper.

“I’m the only one who gets to have you like this. Writhing underneath me—sighing at just the slightest touch. I’m pretty sure if I were to touch you right now, my fingers would slip right in to that pretty cunt of yours. You did this on purpose didn’t you? You know how overprotective I am over you. You know how jealous I can get whenever it comes to you. You know just how dominant and rough I can fuck you when you’ve done something to upset me. Well baby, you’re in for a long night. First you’re going to choke on this cock, and then I’m going to burry it deep inside of your tight little walls and then you’re going to bounce on me like your life depends on it. Am I clear?”

Your eyes rolled back in excitement and you found yourself nodding vehemently—not giving a shit at how eager and horny you were.

“Crystal. Now shut up and rail me.”

#mark tuan imagines #got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan #got7 mark

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vaelynez · 3 years

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Varigo on Affection

Hi hello, I’m writing this essay on the boys and how they handle affection. Why? Because I had a long car ride and felt like it and they’re my comfort ship. If there’s discord formatting that I missed I apologize.

Please note: these are all personal head canons, if you don’t like them that’s fine! 💕

Did I put this in discord? Yes. Does it need to be here? No. Is that going to stop me? Absolutely not!

Hugo -

Hugo tends to show his affection via physical contact, and listening to Varian but that part isn’t intentional. He doesn’t realize how much that means to Varian. He’ll usually be the one to grab Varian’s hand on walks or ask to cuddle (mostly in the beginning, as time goes on Varian starts getting more comfortable to ask for hugs and stuff. We’ll get to that later).

When he was younger he’d constantly be looking for any form of love. (By younger I’m saying like 16-the trials). He never got it in any form, parental, friendship, romantic. He’s had physical relationships and settled for that because it was something. So when he starts dating Varian he has a hard time accepting that Varian actually loves him. Hugo’s constantly putting a hand on his shoulder, grabbing his hand, wrapping an arm around him thinking that’s all he could do. He backs off when Varian is showing apprehension though, especially in the beginning because he overwhelms Varian, which I’ll talk about when we get to him.

He doesn’t take things further than that, though. He’ll grab his hand and Varian will accept and he’ll get flustered like omg omg omg omg he accepted my hand hold help. Also yes, he is a tomato at this point. Once Varian get’s past his new relationship jitters he teases Hugo for it. (In a lighthearted way, he’s not trying to shame Hugo in any way they’re just being bickering dorks).

He’s never had experience talking about his feelings, either. Most of the time Donella never asked and he didn’t have friends. He’s a very emotional person (which he grew up hating) but he never was allowed to express these emotions and buried them.

The most verbal-affection he shows is when he’s helping Varian through a bad day. When Varian has a panic/anxiety attack, nightmares, overworks himself etc. Hugo tries to help him through through words because Varian hates being touched when he’s in these moments. It scares him. He’ll also try to talk Varian through his guilt. He’s the first person to not blame him for what happened to him when it comes to the whole amber situation. He’s the first person to tell him, hey, you crossed lines but I get why you did it and you had a right to be upset.

When he joins the group, he does the same thing. Hugo knows how to act, deceive, everything he grew up doing.

As time goes on, because of he doesn’t quite know how to process his own emotions, so when he starts developing feelings for Varian he knows something’s changed but he doesn’t know what.

Over time, there’s a moment where it just clicks. He’s watching V do something where he’s in his element being the most Varian Varian can be. Maybe he’s explaining a chemical formula to Yong, I’m not sure yet aha.

So he’s watching that, and he’s just sitting there subconsciously thinking, I love him so much. Then what he’s thinking hit him and he’s like- oh whoops.

Their first kiss is in the library after the apology. They spend months (≈3) holding each other’s hands and cuddling because both of them are scared to make the next move. Though Hugo tends to kiss the top of his head, or Varian will kiss his cheek, hand etc.

Hugo’s still having troubles vocalizing his feelings, so he continues to show it through actions.

So they’re talking it out, and Hugo tells Varian he loves him for the first time (which is a huge step for him to admit, and also stuns Varian) and he’s like- I’m sorry I know I hurt you and I truly care when Varian asks if he can kiss him. Hugo get’s flustered and starts tripping over his words and is like, “I-I mean if you want to-“ so he does.

It’s after this and when they go back to Corona that their relationship starts to grow bit by bit. They start slowly working through their problems together and healing from their past traumas.

Hugo’s as patient as can be, and appreciates how understanding Varian can be. Hugo will have moments where he still feels like he’s not enough. Varian tries to help him through it the best he can.

He’s scared to tell Varian, though, because aforementioned nobody’s ever loved loved me for me. He values Varian’s friendship and isn’t honest about his feelings for a while because he doesn’t feel he’s worthy of him. But Varian’s constantly telling and showing him that he is.

In the beginning of their relationship Hugo always made the first move because of these insecurities. (While listening to Varian, of course). But Varian starts making them over time, flustering Hugo in turn. But he comes to cherish those moments because actively reminding him, no you dolt I do love you! Now have a hug! Insert angry Varian nosies.

Most of these feelings go behind the scenes, though since Hugo doesn’t know how to talk about them. He’s also afraid of being vulnerable. So part of their banter is Hugo trying to convince himself he doesn’t care (mostly in the beginning when they practically hated each other). Now it’s a staple in their relationship because Varian’s a sassy child of sass and Hugo’s an ass Hugo. I mean, it’s Varigo. 20% love, 80% actually I love hate you.

After the library they start getting closer. Especially after settling down in Corona. Though Hugo’s go-to is still contact. He’ll hug Varian at any chance he gets. Call him Hug-o. That, and he won’t ever admit this, but he loves whenever Varian will hug back. Varian hugging/cuddling him? It’s everything he’s ever needed and more.

In short, Hugo’s a touch starved asshole who loves his boyfriend and wants to cuddle 24 7. And I love him for it.

Varian -

Varian shows most of his love and affection via words. When it comes to contact, he has to trust someone for him to be able to hug them. So, instead of instantly jumping to hug someone he’ll let them know that they’re appreciated.

Because of some of the attacking from Corona before and after his pardon, as well as some of the fights he saw in prison contact scares him when he doesn’t know someone.

On top of that, none of his friend/family are overly touchy people. Besides Rapunzel. Eugene will put a hand on his shoulder or the occasional hug if somethings wrong and he’s trying to comfort him.

He didn’t grow up with anyone voicing their appreciation of him either. Especially Quirin. He spent so long trying to get Quirin to tell him he was proud of him. So when he starts dating Hugo, he tries everything to get him to understand he does appreciate and love him. He’s the first to say I love you, which was pretty early on which both terrified and meant the world to Hugo.

When they first get together and Hugo’s constantly trying to hold his hand, it scares him at first because nobody’s ever been that touchy with him. (Respectfully, Hugo backs off if Varian’s uncomfortable). They do end up talking about it and Varian asks if they can take it slow, which Hugo agrees to.

Over time he slowly starts to accept it more. He’s also very flustered when they first start showing their feelings. (Bonus, Nuru basically tells him hey I can tell from here that you love him so pls figure this out soon I cannot do this anymore. In a respectful, I’m gonna help a friend out sort of way. She knows before he does). After he starts getting used to someone showering him in affection, in a way, he starts going to Hugo. He’ll grab Hugo’s hand or initiate a hug.

When it comes to their first kiss, Varian is heartbroken because of the betrayal. But when Hugo goes into the library he apologizes, which hits a nerve Varian didn’t know he had. Nobody ever apologized for hurting him, ever. (No, that prison scene does not count as an apology, Rapunzel. Personally head canon that after that she never wanted to bring it up because it’s all good now so why talk about it? Once it’s over it’s over. She does the same thing with Cass as well. This isn’t Rapunzel hate, though! It’s just something I feel she does). Seeing Hugo understand that he hurt him and let him know that yes, it is okay for you to be upset means everything. He was never allowed to be upset before. Corona treated things like his actions negated everything he went through. He was told that he deserved to go to prison and the trauma came with it because it was his ‘punishment’ for everything he did. Now, Hugo’s telling him he understands. Despite the betrayal and everything that happens, he knows he still loves him. He’s still hurt but he’s willing to work through it with him. He trusts that he won’t hurt him again.

So, Varian asks to kiss him and Hugo accepts. Varian knows that Hugo’s someone important to him and he doesn’t want to lose him. The sting is still there, it’s salt in the wound from everything he went through before. But he wants to give Hugo a second chance.

When they go back and start settling down in Corona, he starts becoming more aware of Hugo’s insecurities. They’re harder for Hugo to hide now that he’s not constantly acting around him. Though during the trials there were moments where they stopped and Varian sensed something was off, but he never knew what.

He tries his best to constantly remind Hugo that he cares, that he loves him, and all that. He doesn’t get as flustered now that they’ve been together for a while and becomes almost as much of a cuddle bug as Hugo, especially on bad days. Almost. While Hugo rarely talks about his feelings, Varian starts tp learn how to tell when Hugo’s having his own bad days. He’ll stick by his side, hold him, and remind him of everything.

When Hugo helps him through his bad days, it means the literal world to him. Going back to what I said before, he never really talked about everything he went through. He never let himself heal, either. He would constantly blame himself for it. Nobody had ever given him another opinion. They were either involved, or bias citizens. So when Hugo tells him, hey, yours feelings were valid you just took the wrong actions, it means a lot. (He knows his actions were bad at this point).

Hugo allows him to be upset, but still does his best to show him that he’s loved. He doesn’t treat him like a burden when his mental health gets the best of him, and vice versa.

While Hugo doesn’t outright say how much he loves Varian, he shows it through his actions. Varian tries to tell Hugo how much he loves him, by saying it and reminding him that he’s here for him. He loves him for him. And that’ll never change.

And there’s my essay. Enjoy! Also if it’s messy sorry I wrote this in one go and skimmed it over twice. Don’t know why I made it so long I just said ha time to ramble!

#tw: mentions of violence #tw: panic attack #tw: anxiety #tw: nightmares #varigo #tts hugo #tts varian #varian and the 7 kingdoms #varian and the seven kingdoms

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ladykissingfish · 3 years

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Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Eight // Kakuzu

What is with this group and wasting their free time doing such inane and pointless things? The old guy can think of at least 50 other activities (the majority of which involve making money) that everyone could be doing, rather than lining up to kiss each under a little green plant. When it’s his turn in the spotlight, he tries as hard as he can to back out of his “obligation” ... but Pein (and Kakuzu’s own persistent partner, Hidan) insist that Kakuzu participate. Kakuzu sighs and nods; he’s smart enough to know when he’s been defeated. However, Pein should know that Kakuzu will be adding a little extra money to his paycheck that week, for “hazard pay”.

Pein

Nagato was more interested in Kakuzu joining his group than any of the others. Immortality, money-sense, expertise and wisdom ... this is the man who survived the wars of the past. This is the man who survived the mighty Hashirama, God of all shinobi. Still, Nagato is no fool; he realizes that Kakuzu’s number one priority in life isn’t the Akatsuki, but money. Kakuzu would probably (and had likely thought about) betray them all in exchange for a tidy sum. So Nagato (as Pein) works to keep Kakuzu content enough to remain loyal, including making him the group’s treasurer and giving him complete control over everyone’s finances. And Kakuzu remains highly useful; strategizing, completing missions twice as fast (and ten times as efficient) as his younger teammates. Pein approaches Kakuzu and gives him a light kiss on the forehead, before returning to his room. He reminds himself to speak to Kakuzu later; he has some ideas about weapons he’d like to procure for the group, and needs to see if it would be financially feasible to do so.

Konan

Kakuzu genuinely likes Konan, and appreciates her company. Many men of Kakuzu’s generation were raised on the belief system that women were solely meant to be wives, child-bearers, and home-makers; to call a female a ninja was deemed unthinkable. But Kakuzu was a rarity in that he never saw this as being the case; man or woman, one’s inner strength was all that mattered in regards to being a shinobi. He’s spoken with Konan at length about her childhood, and the trauma she endured, and he knows that this little blue-haired lady is a sight tougher than a LOT of people (and Kakuzu’s met quite a few in his long life). Konan walks up to him and he smiles; it’s rare for Kakuzu to smile, but Konan brings it out of him. “Good evening, Kakuzu-san. I think it’s my turn.” He nods, and slips off his mask so that his lips are exposed. He leans down and very, very gently kisses her cheek. Her blushing skin is soft and her smile is beautiful as she thanks him and steps away, to let the next person go.

Kisame

Nobody knows this about Kakuzu (and he fears he would be mocked if they did), but the old guy puts a lot of emphasis on the idea of exercise. Five hearts is a lot of responsibility, and staying healthy is how Kakuzu intends to keep living forever. So every night, when the others are asleep and after he’s done with his reading, he’ll spend some time in his room exercising. One night Kisame passed by his open door and saw him using a pair of heavy books as make-shift weights. The next evening Kisame came to Kakuzu’s room with a set of real barbells , which he casually gave to Kakuzu with the admonition not to overdo it. Kakuzu greatly appreciated the gesture (and the unspoken support), and the two have been good friends ever since. But ... a kiss between them would just be too strange, so Kisame comes up with a better option: an arm-wrestling match, Kisame grabs the kitchen table and two chairs and sets them up under the mistletoe. Of course the rest of the Akatsuki gathers to watch, hooting and hollering and placing bets on who will win. Kisame and Kakuzu are both fairly evenly matched, so that challenge goes on for a while. Finally, with a final grunt of exertion, Kakuzu is able to slam Kisame’s hand into the table. Everyone claps, and Kisame laughs and tells Kakuzu that he’s “one tough son of a bitch”; high compliment coming from a man who was half-shark.

Itachi

Out of all the members of the Akatsuki, Itachi was by far the least problematic of the younger ones. Quiet, thoughtful, quick and efficient in completing missions. And polite; always forthcoming with “please” and “thank you”, and never failing to use honorifics with the others, even though some of them (ie Deidara and Hidan) don’t show him that same respect back. One time Kakuzu had caught a cold that stubbornly hung on for several days. Itachi came to his room every day with a cup of congestion-easing tea, something that Kakuzu didn’t ask for, but greatly appreciated nonetheless. Itachi comes up to him and nods. “Kakuzu-san.” “Itachi-san.” Itachi leans up and gives him a light kiss to the cheek, and Kakuzu is struck by a particular urge — to hug this kid. Something about him, perhaps everything about him, seems like a cry for parental love and affection. Kakuzu resists this odd impulse, but Itachi seems to sense that it’s something he wanted, because he leans over again and very briefly puts his arms around the older man. “Thank you,” he murmurs, before walking away. Kakuzu watches him go, slightly shaking his head.

Tobi

Tobi gives Kakuzu an uneasy feeling deep within his heart(s). Running around, speaking loudly, eating nothing but candy and sweets, acting like a complete fool — it’s an act. Kakuzu has never been more convinced of anything in his life. The only question is, why is Tobi putting on this act? To deceive them all into a false sense of security, before striking? Kakuzu has hunted bounties a good deal of his life, and a lot of the more difficult ones to catch have acted EXACTLY the way Tobi does, in order to throw off potential bounty hunters. Kakuzu learned to see through them, the same way he sees through Tobi. But to tip one’s hand and give away what you know is unthinkable in the chase and capture game, so Kakuzu never lets on what he actually believes. “Oh boy Kakuzu-san; does Tobi get a kissy now?!” Kakuzu nods, and Tobi slides his mask halfway off (Kakuzu notes the lines on the side of his face; accident, most likely. Possibly a disfiguring one) and the strange glint of his eye. Before Tobi can act, Kakuzu puts a hand on his face and kisses his forehead. “There. Now go.” Tobi slides the mask back on and hurries away with his usual chatter and giggling, and Kakuzu reminds himself to loom through the bingo book later for bounties with visible scarring on the left side of the face.

Zetsu

Five hearts means more blood needed to sustain said hearts. More blood means a stronger scent. A stronger scent means ... Kakuzu smells delicious to someone like Zetsu. Zetsu approaches him and looks around quickly; the two are alone. His brain runs through every possible scenario in which he could successfully kill and eat Kakuzu. He’s victorious in a few ... but most end with him mutilated by the man’s tentacles, and having to face the wrath of Pein on top of everything else. So he simply sighs, flicks out his tongue to taste the saltiness of Kakuzu’s cheek, and walks away again. Just that one taste was almost enough to make zetsu throw restraint to the wind and eat his fill, so he leaves before he can do anything he’ll regret. Kakuzu wipes off his cheek in mild disgust ... in a group full of freaks, Zetsu certainly seemed to take the cake.

Deidara

Kakuzu still remembers the day they brought this kid into the group. And that’s exactly what he was; a kid. Barely 15 years old, with a powerful “gift”, and full of anger at a village he felt betrayed him in not trying to understand his unique sense of ‘art’. Fast forward several years later and Deidara had changed, and most of that change was the better. Kakuzu could only surmise that the kid matured due to the constant council and guidance of his older and wiser partner Sasori; Kakuzu feels mildly jealous that Sasori was able to reign some measure of improvement over HIS young partner, but Kakuzu couldn’t do a thing with Hidan. Still, though, even Sasori hadn’t been able to completely tame the kid, as evidenced by Deidara managing to get BOTH arms blown off in a tussle with some Konoha nin. Kakuzu had been tasked with sewing his new arms back on, but to the kids credit, despite his painful the procedure had been, he didn’t utter a sound. Had even thanked Kakuzu, twice, afterwards. Deidara walks up to him and looks almost shy; 19 years old now and still with the face of a child. Kakuzu leans down and kisses the kid’s forehead, again noting his soft and smooth — and LONG — his hair was. It sways as Deidara walks away, and Kakuzu wonders how much he could get for those luscious locks, from the right buyer.

Sasori

Respect. Out of all the words that Kakuzu could use to describe how he felt about Sasori, Respect was at the top of the list. And the funny thing was, Kakuzu hadn’t even met the REAL Sasori until almost a year of being in the Akatsuki. The two had been sent on a mission, and at night, near the campfire, a soft metal sound made Kakuzu turn his head. It was a small, slender redhead, emerging from the being that Kakuzu had THOUGHT was a real person. The two had looked at each other for a while, and then started a game of cards as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As time went on, the two became closer. They both shared an interest in/knowledge of medical jutsu and procedures, and would often come to one another with questions or with articles on different medicines. Kakuzu nods at him as he walks up, and Sasori does the same. He thinks about it, bends down and kisses Sasori’s left cheek, and Sasori smiles at him, bidding him a quiet Good Evening before going back to his room.

Hidan

“Hey old fuck; you’ve been dying to get your hands on my sexy body all day, haven’t ya, pervert?” Kakuzu would roll his eyes at Hidan’s comment, but at this point, he’s ridiculously used to the things his partner says and does. As he looks at Hidan’s face, he wonders, and not for the first time, whether this is a punishment of sorts. Gaining five hearts and creating a kind of immortality only came for Kakuzu at the end of a long and bloody road, one paved with the unwilling sacrifices of other people. Was it Fate, that the Gods had put THIS man, this loud, overbearing, foul-mouthed heathen, into his path? And as the one person who just might be immortal, too? Hidan often joked about “When all these other assholes bite the big one, me and you might as well get married, bastard.” But what in the world was he saying? Surely he was joking; why would someone as young and attractive as Hidan want to be with Kakuzu? Kakuzu who was heaven knows how many times Hidan’s age, and — “So we gonna slobber each other or what?” “You’ve got a big mouth, brat. Learn to shut up once in a while.” “MAKE me shut up, fuck-face.” So Kakuzu grabs Hidan around the waist, tilts him back, and sinks into his lips. Kakuzu’s mouth is rough and scarred but Hidan’s is smooth and soft, and the contrast creates a dizzying effect for both men. Hidan grasps Kakuzu’s shoulders tighter, leaving slight nail-prints in Kakuzu’s flesh. Their lips are touching but in this moment it feels like everything is touching, even their very souls (if either of them still had one, that is). When Kakuzu finally breaks the kiss and pulls Hidan back up, the white-haired immortal seems fairly disorientated ... but that doesn’t stop his mouth. “You’re an even bigger pervert than I thought, old fuck. Who the hell said you could stick your tongue in my mouth?? And why —” Kakuzu suddenly reaches out and grabs Hidan’s face with both hands, this time pulling him forward into a very soft, closed-mouth kiss. “Better?” Instead of a smartass answer, Hidan simply nods; and now he’s smiling as he walks away. If he were to turn around at any point, he’d surely gasp; because Kakuzu’s smile was even bigger than Hidan’s own. “Stupid kid,” Kakuzu mutters to himself, still smiling as he makes his way back to his room.

#the akatsuki #under the mistletoe #kissing #kakuzu #hidan #konan #pein #tobi #deidara #sasori #kisame #itachi uchiha #zetsu

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emy-loves-you · 4 years

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Sanders Sides AU-gust Day 3: Soulmates

Your shadow is the current silhouette of your soulmate. Only you and your soulmate can see your shadow. Shadows of animals and objects (non-humans basically) can be seen by everyone. Most people have human soulmates that grow up with a human shadow. Logan is not most people.

Logan POV, Intrulogical, Prinxiety and Moceit

Day 2 | Masterlist | Day 4

Logan was smart.

At just four years old, Logan could count to one thousand, tie his shoes, and knew how to read books meant for kids twice his age. Logan knew other things too. He knew that the earth moved around the sun, not the other way around. He knew that Mrs. Smith didn’t like Mr. Smith and that they were getting a ‘dee-vorce.’ He knew that rainbows were like giant water mirrors. And he knew what soulmates are.

Soulmates mean different things to different people. They appear as shadows, but your shadow is actually your soulmate’s shadow. Logan didn’t really understand how that worked, but he didn’t ask about it. Mama’s shadow disappeared when she was little, and she doesn’t like to talk about it. Logan didn’t understand why Papa married Mama if they weren’t soulmates, but he didn’t ask. Because Logan was smart, and he knew that if he asked about their soulmates, they would ask about his. And while Logan didn’t know a lot about soulmates, he knew that his shadow was different.

Logan’s soulmate was big. Bigger than Mama and Papa. Sometimes Logan would lay in bed and his soulmate’s shadow covered him like a blanket. It made him feel safe and protected. One time Logan was almost hurt by a big doggie, but the dog saw Logan’s shadow and ran away. Logan knew that big shadows weren’t good. He heard about how Susie from down the street had a ‘peddle-file’ for a soulmate. But Logan knew that his soulmate wouldn’t hurt him.

Sometimes the shadow would change into something smaller, closer to Papa’s height. Sometimes the shadow grew so big that Logan couldn’t see the end of it. But most of the time, Logan’s shadow stayed the same size and shape. Logan knew it wasn’t normal to have a soulmate that changed shape. He knew it wasn’t normal for his shadow to have long, spindly arms with pointed fingers. He knew that most shadows didn’t have long devil horns, or give off an aura that scared all animals and most humans away. Logan knew that Mama and Papa wouldn’t understand if he told them.

Because Logan was smart enough to know that his soulmate wasn’t human.

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Logan was brave.

Most people wouldn’t see that at first glance. Logan was a 17-year-old nerd. He was such an oddball that even bullies steered clear of him (Logan never commented on that. He knew it was his soulmate’s aura scaring them away. Which was interesting since human shadows don’t have detectable auras). Logan always had his nose in a book. Most people expected him to be a teacher’s pet, but Logan never answered questions. He never reached out to others, and he never spoke unless he was spoken to, so most people didn’t know how brave Logan actually was.

Even those who considered themselves close to Logan didn’t see him as brave. In fact, most people saw him as emotionless. He rarely smiled or spoke out of turn. He was the perfect child in terms of behavior and intelligence, but he never showed signs of actually enjoying the world around him.

But there was something that Logan enjoyed: his shadow. While it was disappointing to have no one to talk to about his soulmate, Logan wouldn’t give his soulmate up for anything. It was fascinating to watch, and every time Logan interacted with his shadow he felt safe and loved. Most people would scream if their shadow’s jaw unhinged to impossible lengths, most likely to swallow something whole. Logan watched with rapt attention, itching to write it down. He never recorded anything about his soulmate, paranoid that someone would find it. Instead, he attempted to memorize every new detail on his soulmate. His soulmate was 8 feet tall exactly, with an extra four inches added for the horns. While his largest form was immeasurable, his smallest form stood at 6 ft 6 in with no horns to see. Logan assumed that this form was meant to mimic a human, though he had no other data to support that hypothesis. Logan’s soulmate was also extremely fast, occasionally moving its limbs at a speed that Logan couldn’t track with his eyes.

Logan participated in activities that made sense to him yet baffled others. He spent hours holed up in his room, his shadow comforting him as he read a book. He ran for an hour every afternoon, though he had no interest in joining any races. He also went to the gym every other day. Logan’s logic behind this was that he needed to be quick and strong in case his soulmate meant him harm (this was a lie and Logan knew it. Not only did Logan still believe that his soulmate wouldn’t harm him, he also doubted that he could physically run away from a creature that could potentially travel at inhuman speeds, much less fight one. The truth was that Logan wanted to have something vaguely in common with his soulmate). While Logan liked to read philosophy and chemistry books, he could also be seen reading books on soulmates, fairytales and cryptids. While Logan did not believe that humanity was aware that Logan’s soulmate existed, he hoped he would one day find something that would even slightly match his predicament.

Logan was actually reading another book about soulmates as he sat under the apple tree outside of the library. The tree’s shadow loomed over him, but Logan could still easily see his soulmate’s silhouette. He wasn’t sure if that was a soulmate-thing or a my-soulmate-isn’t-human-thing. That’s actually why he was reading this book: Everyday Occurrences for Soulmates. It was mainly a description of how soulmate customs were treated around the world, but Logan hoped that it would give him more insight into how human shadows should look and behave.

“Get back here, freak!” Logan’s head snapped up to see another teen run past him. Logan vaguely recognized the patchwork hoodie from his biology class. Virgil Storm, Logan’s memory supplied. Emo and social outcast. Logan watched as another group of teens chased after him. Virgil continued to run until he tripped and fell. Logan stood up as the gaggle of teenagers approached Virgil. This won’t do at all.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The teens looked afraid for a moment before they turned and saw Logan approaching.

The one in the middle laughed. “Run along, nerd, before you end up like this freak!” Micheal Scott, if Logan’s memory was correct (it always was). Senior, quarterback, was held back three times.

Logan continued to step forward, ignoring the way his shadow lashed around his ankles. “Virgil has done nothing to warrant your ire, Micheal.” This was true; Virgil talked less than even Logan did. Other than being exceptionally talented in art, Virgil was essentially a nobody (and while Logan knew that looks could be deceiving, he- like everyone else- saw reason to interact with Virgil).

Micheal scoffed. “Of course he does! He’s a freak and he deserves to be put in his place-”

Now, Logan was very smart. He knew that acting violently would most likely result in negative consequences. But Logan also knew that Virgil didn’t deserve Micheal’s… anything, Micheal’s an asshole. But either way, Logan knew what it was like to be the odd-one-out. And while Logan was nervous of the consequences, when he heard Micheal call Virgila freak, Logan’s bravery shined through.

Logan was satisfied to feel Micheal’s nose break from under his fist. Those visits to the gym were actually useful. Huh. Logan watched impassively as Micheal fell down to his knees. Logan kneeled so that his face loomed just above Micheal’s. Micheal started shivering, and Logan couldn’t tell if it was him or his shadow that was causing him distress. He also didn’t care. “If you even look at me or Virgil the wrong way I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell. Understood?” Logan’s voice remained cold and emotionless. While his surge in confidence was making him slightly uncomfortable, it produced the intended outcome. Micheal blanched before scurrying away. It took only a look to get the other teens to do the same.

Logan knelt down next to the now safe teen. “Are you alright?” He held out his hand for Virgil to grab.

Virgil stared at the hand in shock, seemingly surprised that someone had stood up for him. “Yeah, thanks.” He took the offered hand, pulling himself up onto his feet. His sketchbook fell out of his hand, which Logan didn’t realize was even there. Logan bent down to grab the sketchbook for Virgil when he froze.

The sketch was of some kind of fae/eldritch horror combination. The creature’s face was youthful, appearing to be a man in his early twenties. Its arms were long and spindly, and his nails were sharpened to a point. It wore a white prince suit with a red sash. But what really grabbed Logan’s attention was the pair of devil horns that sat on top of its head.

Logan looked up at Virgil, who was suddenly pale and shaking. “Virgil, what was your inspiration behind this piece?”

Virgil grabbed the notebook and shook his head. “It’s nothing, just a nightmare I had. Nothing more.” He went to walk away.

Logan grabbed Virgil by the hoodie sleeve. “Please do not lie to me.” Virgil stared at Logan in horror. Logan stood there, feeling his desperation claw at him. “Please,” He whispered. “Please tell me I’m not alone.”

Because Logan was brave, and he didn’t want to be alone anymore.

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Logan was observant.

While his observations didn’t help him in finding his soulmate, it did help him take care of his two new (and only) friends.

Virgil Storm apparently had a soulmate similar to Logan’s, as did Virgil’s best friend Patton Heart. Virgil also had a nightbond, a rare form of soulbond that allowed soulmates to visit each other in their dreams. Apparently, the creatures did not have a name for their species. Roman, Virgil’s soulmate, appeared to have very little knowledge on his species. While this did disappoint Logan, he was still grateful to have someone to share his findings with. After knowing each other for over a year, the trio were never seen apart, finally having friends who weren’t scared away by their shadow’s dark auras.

Virgil and Patton both had similar opinions to Logan on their inhuman soulmates, mainly that it was more fascinating than terrifying. Virgil was interested in the darker aspects of their soulmates, while Patton was just happy that he had a soulmate. Logan grew to care for the two teens. While Virgil was quiet and awkward around others, Logan learned that he was actually very snarky and cynical. Patton pretended that life was perfect, but Logan had seen enough to know that Patton only genuinely smiled when thinking about his soulmate. Logan had become quite protective of the two, as his shadow tended to scare off more potential threats than Virgil’s or Patton’s did.

Logan was currently running around the perimeter of the highschool as he waited for his friends to finish their activities. He had asked if they would like to join him, but Patton was asthematic and Virgil detested running. So, it had become a common occurrence for Logan to do his running while Patton and Virgil participated in their after school clubs.

Logan allowed his mind to wander as he completed another lap. He was disappointed that he’s so far unsuccessful in terms of meeting his soulmate. None of them had met their soulmates in person, even Virgil. According to Roman, the creatures had a much deeper connection to their souls compared to humans. He had also said that the creatures wouldn’t be found by their soulmates until “our loves are ready.” Ready for what, Logan didn’t know. But that didn’t stop him from exhausting every possible way to find his soulmate.

Logan saw a flash of yellow and almost tripped over his feet. Not stopping as to draw suspicion, he glanced towards the forest behind the school and saw something… odd.

Standing at the edge of the treeline was a man. He was tall and young, probably in his mid 20s. He wore an impeccable black suit with yellow accessories, which was odd since he appeared to have came from the forest. Logan followed his gaze and just as the gym doors opened. Patton sprinted out of the school, most likely grabbing something from his car. Logan watched as the man’s gaze followed Patton as he walked towards his car. Logan tsked as he darted into the treeline, attempting to not be spotted. The man was stalking Patton, and that was not acceptable. But Logan was observant, so he’d learn more about the man before making his move.

Logan had just reached where he’d last seen the man when he noticed something important: his shadow wasn’t moving. Any time Logan was heading towards potential danger, his shadow would move erratically around his feet, as if it was trying to stop him. Any time potential danger was heading towards him, Logan’s shadow would lash towards the danger, it’s natural aura deterring most creatures. But his shadow wasn’t moving. It was calm. Complacent.

Logan was so busy analyzing his shadow that he almost hadn’t realized that the man wasn’t there. Logan felt a chill go down his neck and he spun around, to find himself less than a foot away from the man. Logan stifled the urge to scream. His shadow wasn’t acting up, and Logan trusted his soulmate to protect him. But now that he was almost touching the man, Logan quickly realized something. How his smile was a hair too wide. How just standing close to him made Logan’s fight-or-flight reflexes go haywire.

Logan was observant, but it didn’t take much to realize that this man isn’t human.

Logan cleared his throat as he forced himself to articulate a response. “Hello. Might I ask why you’re trespassing into a high school to observe minors?”

The man looked guilty (bullshit) as he spoke. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met before.” He held out his hand, presumably for Logan to shake. “My name is Declan Brown. I was sent by the school board to observe the school’s management of extracurricular activities-”

“Stop.” Logan suddenly said, resisting the urge to physically shake his head. A part of him was already nodding along to what he said. It’s a perfectly reasonable assumption- Logan did his best to shove the thought away. The creature obviously had a talent in mental manipulation.

The (not)man gaped for a second. “Excuse me?” He seemed shocked. The thoughts became more intense and repetitive.

Logan started rambling, less focused on his words and more focused on getting Declan’s (that’s probably not his name) manipulations out of his head. “Stop lying to me. No member of the student board would support stalking a minor from the school’s perimeter. Check up on your human facts before stating such a bold lie. And will you shut up with the thoughts!” Before Logan could acknowledge what he had said, the thoughts ceased completely.

The creature looked at Logan with unguarded curiosity. “Who are you?”

Logan crossed his arms as he ignored how terrified he felt. “My name is unimportant for this conversation. Now I’ll ask again: Why are you stalking my friend?”

Logan’s shadow chose that moment to respond, shifting forward so it brushed against the creature’s ankles. Logan then realized that not only did he seem to acknowledge Logan’s shadow, he also didn’t have a shadow. Which means that he has a soulmate. The creature stared at the shadow before laughing. “Ah. That makes much more sense.”

Logan frowned. “Please answer my question.”

The creature’s smile seemed more genuine as he held out his hand again. “Call me Janus. I was sent by Roman to check on his soulmate. And I wanted to check on my soulmate at the same time.”

Logan blinked as he processed the information. The creature knew Roman, so it was most likely the same (or similar) species. And since it was staring at Patton…

Logan grabbed Janus’ hand, giving it his firmest shake. Logan was not submitting to this creature. “My name is Logan. I assume you are Patton’s soulmate, correct?” At Janus’ smirk, Logan tightened his grip. “If you harm him in any way- physically, emotionally, you name it- I will find a way to make the rest of your existence a living hell.”

Janus laughed as he also tightened his grip. “He’s gonna LOVE meeting you.” Logan remained impassive, knowing that a single sign of weakness could cause his end.

Because Logan was observant, and no way in hell was he letting his friend get hurt.

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Logan was loved.

Logan never really realized that. Sure, his parents said that they loved him, but Logan never really depended on his parents the way most children did. When Logan had a question, he read a book. When Logan was scared, his shadow protected him. When Logan was hurt or lonely, his shadow would comfort him. Most people depended on their parents to raise them. Logan raised himself. Most people saw shadows as a way to find their soulmate. Logan saw his shadow as a friend.

Maybe that’s why at 21 years old Logan confidently (and drunkenly) states that he’s never felt true love. Sure, he’s felt kindness and support (Patton and Virgil) but he’s never felt love. Sure, some nights he has long conversations with his shadow and lets himself believe that the way it twists and turns means that his soulmate can hear him. Sure, he sees Janus a few times every year (Logan knows by this point that Janus is letting himself be seen. Logan never told Patton about meeting Janus and they have yet to officially meet. If Janus wanted to be seen by Patton or not seen by Logan he could) and every time he begs to learn more about his soulmate. But that’s not love (he never says that around Janus. The creature can smell lies like Logan smells Patton’s perfume).

Maybe that’s why he drunkenly kisses a stranger at his 21st birthday party, ignoring the fact that he’s too short and his hold doesn’t feel safe.

Maybe that’s why when he goes to visit Patton weeks later and sees only a note that says His name’s Janus he crumples it up and throws it away. Maybe that’s why when Virgil texts him the same day simply saying Found my soulmate TTYL, Logan lets hope claw its way through his chest. Maybe that’s why when the sun sets and Logan gets no sign from his soulmate he curls up in a ball and sobs. Maybe that’s why he decides that he can’t wait any longer and he leaves his shitty apartment in the middle of his shitty town and heads towards the shitty forest that he knows is empty but he has to try.

Maybe that’s why when Logan’s so deep in the forest that he can’t find his way out and the moon hangs high over his head and he hears wolves in the distance he doesn’t get scared or sad. No, Logan gets angry. Angry at the world for rejecting him because of his menacing shadow. Angry at Patton and Virgil for leaving him for their own soulmates. Angry at his soulmate for making him believe for 21 fucking years that he had a chance at being truly happy.

A wolf broke through the tree line, lowly growling as he approached Logan. Logan growled right back, his irritation and heartbreak and anger clouding his judgment. The wolf howled, and Logan screamed. It was an odd feeling. Logan hadn’t screamed in a long time. He trusted his shadow to protect him, so he never screamed in fear. But the way his throat burned from his anger was exhilarating.

The wolf lunged, and it took Logan a few moments to realize that it never reached him. Logan heard a satisfying crunch as the wolf head landed inches from his feet. Logan looked up and saw a monster of nightmares.

It was at least 8 ft tall, with long, spindly limbs sharpened to a point. Green horns protruded form his head, and his eyes glowed acid green. His bloody teeth stretched into a too-wide grin, and Logan did not smile back.

Instead Logan screamed again. But it wasn’t out of fear (never out of fear). It was out of anger, and exhaustion, and relief, and something else that Logan couldn’t name. He lunged at the creature, wrapping his arms around the black and green tunic as he continued to scream. The creature continued to smile, using his too-sharp claws to hold onto Logan’s back. And Logan broke. He started to sob, losing the ability to stand as he leaned further into the creature’s chest.

They stayed there for almost an hour, Logan sobs being the only sound in the vicinity. Eventually, the creature spoke up. “It’s nice to finally hold you, Logan.” Logan continued to stay silent, burrowing his face into the creature’s chest. “My name is Remus. I know that it hurts, but you weren’t ready until now. I wanted to come get you the moment I saw your shadow, I swear. But I’ve always been there, even though ya couldn’t hear me. And I promise I won’t leave ya ever.”

Logan felt himself smile as he relaxed further into the creature’s his soulmate’s hold, listening to Remus babble out apologies and promises. Logan allowed himself to finally feel.

Because even though this was the first time they touched, Logan knew this wasn’t the first time they’d met. Remus had always been there to support Logan, even if he was hiding in Logan’s shadow. He was always there, and even though Logan was hearing him for the first time, Logan knew that he was in love with Remus.

And as they separated and Remus asked if Logan was okay, Logan let himself admit it. “I love you.”

And Remus repeated him, with no doubts or uncertainty. Because even though Logan refused to believe it before now…

Logan was loved.

#sanders sides #AU_gust_2020 #soulmate alternate universe #intrulogical #moceit #prinxiety #logan sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #Janus Sanders #my fic

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genuineemotionwriter · 3 years

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Love and Reality

In reality, I'm not like what everybody assumes I am. As much as I wish I could be just like the good female lead in every show I've watched, I'm just not. The truth is, I'm not selfless like them. I sometimes find it hard to be happy for others' happiness, and that tears me apart, but I just can't help it. Sometimes, I even envy my friends because I'm super sensitive and easily get hurt. Everybody thinks I'm perfect, but I'm nowhere near that. It's just an act that's been put on that I didn't even know I was starring in. Maybe it's my eloquence in speech or confident aura that gives everybody the wrong notion that I'm so capable and undefeatable. Or it could be a front that's been put up which I didn't even have a clue about. Maybe it's my charismatic behavior or reserved nature that deceives everyone into thinking I'm so strong and resilient and smart and brave. But in reality, I could be stronger, more resilient, smarter, and braver. Again, everybody may believe I'm so perfect, but, in reality, I'm full of imperfections and have many issues. I may appear to be quiet or shy whereas I'm actually so overly self-conscious, hesitant, and awkward. I may even give off the vibe that I'm stuck-up, uninterested, or maybe even cold, but, in reality, it's actually tearing me apart on the inside that I can't fit in the group or join the conversation. It also kills me that I can't get myself to reach out to the person that I love because, the truth is, I'm afraid it will bruise my ego, or that every initiation I make or word I put out is going to make me seem clingy and needy. You may think I'm so attractive or simply super confident for anyone to tell the difference, but I actually have so many self-doubts, and I bet I could fall in love with someone, and it might never be reciprocated. I'm probably stuck in an illusion of my creation or some made-up fairytale gone wrong where I'm on the non-receiving end of unrequited love. Yes, it is believable to me, probably not to you, that I may love someone who may not like me back or that people may not like me or may find me annoying. It's so believable to me because I feel it and think about it all the time. Sometimes, I do seem nice when I'm being all reserved and awkward, and that's because I have to act like I'm all okay. Maybe it's because it's a belief that's long been held that being depressed is some taboo or being down goes against our community's social norms. I know I also appear to be a know-it-all, but there are many things I don't know and that I can't even get myself to comprehend. I admit that I waste so much human energy and thought on countless trivial ideas and sensations that nobody is every going to hear or care about. If you think I spend every living minute doing something productive, then you're definitely mistaken. Sometimes, I spend the whole day just lamenting everything including my life, my past, my present, and my future. And that includes a crush with whom it never really came true, nor were we ever together, but I'm experiencing such devastating heartbreak, despite never being outright rejected or confronted or direct about my feelings, which makes it hard to believe otherwise. In fact, I may not actually be an overachiever or unique. I don't ace my exams anymore, nor do I maintain any healthy and strong relationships with the people around me. I might as well not be but a supporting role in my story who was mistaken for some shining lead. I might never meet someone who will love me the way I love them, and I probably won't ever find a prince charming, but I'm human. I'm my own being, and feeling my feelings is my innate right. I may not be clear about them or yet comprehend the jumble of thoughts in my head, but I have every right to embrace my reality and grasp every opportunity to ruminate and rant on and on about how imperfect my imperfections are. Cause that's what makes me human, and I'm just one of billions of others on this earth. I might just be living in my own bubble after all.

#thisisme #imperfections #reality #love #unrequitedlove #crush #wisdom #embracewhoyouare #writing #ranting #ruminating thoughts #myself #lotus #the truth #insecurity #issues #Spotify

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kiriharaakira · 4 years

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Analysis of Yashiro’s suicide

I want to join the discussion of @darkwitchxeres about if Yashiro went to Hirata suicidal because of what happened in Dpumeki's apartment.

From general discussion, this is debatable. Some said Yashiro was already planned this at the first place. Some said Yashiro wouldn't be that suicidal if not because of Doumeki. The point is, we have no solid proof for either of thesis. Sensei never make it clear for us.

My personal view. I will say Doumeki was NOT the reason. There are way too many reasons for Yashiro to commit suicide, Doumeki can hardly be one of those. He is, at most, the trigger.

This is not easy for a human to commit suicide. It is not any decision made in short period of time, let along a single incident. Before we go into any discussion, let’s talk about what happen before sucide.

For a suicide to happen, first there is a suicidal idea. Suicidal idea can happen multiple time in life and actually, every person has at least once thought about suicide in one life time. However, suicidal idea is like any other idea in life. It brings no action or change in a person’s action. It takes time to ferment, until a suicidal will.

We saw a lot of behavior of suicidal will. Ex. Tell the Gunner to come back and “Shoot the right place”. (CP 8), refused the bulletproof vest after leaving hospital (CP 11), exposed himself under the eyes of Gouda group (CP 31). When we met Yashiro, his suicidal idea has already transform into suicidal will. He just never put it in action.

Although suicidal will took place, action still just mere possibility. In fact, many people with suicidal will never turn it into action. Maybe they will start to check out their bucket list or start to prepare for their action, but action still hardly appear. Suicidal will is not yet action. It still takes time to build up and incubate, until the suicidal will become suicidal action.

This is when the suicide take place.

The suicidal idea had been building up and fermenting in Yashiro for so long, when we met Yashiro, he already has strong suicidal will. However, we never saw any suicidal action before CP 34. Yet after that night in Doumeki’s apartment, everything changed. Yashiro suddenly turned his will into action.

What happened? What makes Yashiro did it? What pushed Yashiro over the edge? Was Doumeki truly the executioner who pushed Yashiro off the cliff?

To answer this question, please allow me to imitate the Analysis and answer it in Yakuza Fact, Feeling Fact, and Personal Fact.

Yakuza Fact----

If Yashiro did anything for the Yakuza purpose, he did it for Misumi (Not anything personal, but as a subordinate to his supervisor)

So what benefit will Yashiro’s death bring to Misumi? Misumi will lost his successor if he lost Yashiro, is there anything beneficial to Misumi through Yashiro’s death? The truth is : It is beneficial, a lot.

Hirata was a traitor. After Tsunekawa’s little work in Sanwakai, Hirata has no where to go (He can’t go back to Doushinkai or join Sanwakai. This is why he went to Yanagi (Misumi’s competitor) for support). However, Hirata’s ability was dazzle----He “raised” a Yakuza child like Yashiro, who is smart, good at using the right people, and a powerful money maker. No matter if Yashiro’s ability has any Hirata’s influence or not, the outcome was appealing. “Hirata has the ability to train useful people for Yakuza” is a certified truth, even it is not fact.

Therefore, If Misumi couldn’t finish Hirata for good, Hirata still had a chance to bounce back up. He has the ability to provide growth for Yakuza group, this is an attractive factor for other Yakuza group to recruit a traitor. Let alone those Yakuza groups that are hostile to Doushinkai.

But if Hirata killed his own child, then that’s another story.

In the Yakuza Saga, no matter it was Hirata used Gouda group to blame Yashiro, or Misumi (Amou) used Tsunekawa to destroy Hirata’s exit (Sanwakai), or Yashiro persuaded Hirata’s men and used them against him, none of them due direct harm to each other.

The rule is, they cannot directly lay hand on members in the same group.

In Yakuza relationship, Yashiro and Hirata are Misumi’s Child, and Yashiro is Hirata’s Child. This made-up Father & Son relationship cannot be violated.

So if Hirata killed his son with his own hands, no matter what kind of amazing ability he has, he will be no longer welcome in any Yakuza. A Father who killed his own Son will never get accepted by any Yakuza group. Even Yanagi, who was trying to use Hirata to put shame on Misumi’s face, can accept him no more. Also, if Yanagi helped this man who kill his own Son, Yanagi’s appearance will get fatally damage and will permanently affect his life as Yakuza. Yanagi will immediately lost his position as a potential Kaichou successor.

With his own death, Yashiro can :

1. Block all the exit of Hirata and declare his death sentence as Yakuza

2. Fatally damage Yanagi’s appearance and remove him from the successor list

3. Turn Misumi into the victim in this incident and raise his voice to Sanwakai in their future communication

4. Consolidate Misumi’s position as successor (Misumi will have to choose a new successor since he lost Yashiro. He may have to choose from other member’s Children, so he will meet less oppose when success the Kaichou position)

Not two, but four birds with one stone. Talk about terms worth dying for.

Feeling Fact----

“I should have let you go. I wanted to let you go. I don’t want to let you go, because you are cute. You are cute...but also scary. You said you would do anything for me, but you almost die for me. I am losing it because of you! I am not scare of you. I am scare of myself who is now unable to lose you...”

----Yashiro. CP 23.

A person’s mental stage can collapse if one meet severe mental damage. Let alone a child.

Yashiro’s mental stage was already collapsed long before he grew up. As his mental stage continue to develop, he need to stabilize his collapsed mental stage. That was when he started to tell himself. “I like sex.” “I like it hurt.” “I can’t feel anything if it doesn’t hurt.” By turning himself into a masochist, he was able to continue growing stably in a twisted manner. This is a powerful protective skill Yashiro learn from his childhood. He continue to use this skill even after he grew up, to protect himself and sometimes other (Ex. use sex to exchange info to locate Ryusaki and found Nanahara before everything was too late).

Until Doumeki rip off this infected wound.

I always suggest Doumeki harmed Yashiro badly with his sex to him. Although his sex was gentle...Let’s put it this way. Because his sex was gentle, it severely damaged Yashiro. He recalled his childhood memory was the solid proof of it.

Yashiro was twisted into form that he shouldn’t grow up to be by his twisted parents (I want to talk about his mother if we have the chance). Doumeki never realize it. He never realize the damage Yashiro’s twisted childhood had done to him. Maybe because Yashiro appeared to be so mature and independent, maybe because Yashiro act like nothing happen when talked about his past. Doumeki mistook those had passed for Yashiro and Yashiro had recovered from his wound. But actually, Yashiro never recovered from anything, he never admit he has anything to recover from (”I like how I am.” ----Yashiro Cp 2.).

So when Doumeki showed him the gentle love, he showed him what sex suppose to be, Yashiro couldn’t bear it. When Doumeki showed him what a human suppose to be, Yashiro couldn’t face it. If he admit sex should be done in the way Doumeki showed him, he will have to admit his past 36 years of life was nothing but an ugly ridiculous sarcasm. Yashiro couldn’t face it.

He couldn’t face himself. He couldn’t face Doumeki. He couldn’t face the endless cycle of twisted →accept pain →deceive himself →twist again. He couldn’t bear to live the rest of his life knowing he is a twisted man.

Pandora has opened her Box. There is no return for Yashiro.

Personal Fact----

Many may say Yashiro committed suicide was self-destructive, but wasn’t Yashiro lives a self-destructive life? Messing around with uncountable men, made himself the public toilet, knowing it would upset Hirata but still refuse to constrain a bit. As I see it, compare to his suicide, Yashiro’s daily life was instead self-destructive.

So if committing suicide was not exactly self-destructive for Yashiro, why would Yashiro do so? I discussed with 紫殇迹沫 (The author of the translated analysis), and she gave me this idea----

It was resistance.

What was Yashiro resisting to? His fate.

Yashiro, never get to choose his fate. Almost everything in his life was forced. He was forced to accept the twisted lust from his stepfather, he was forced to face all the disgrace and insult from this teachers and classmates, he was forced to accept the shameful life he has to live. He was even forced to join Yakuza, because of Misumi san.

Why Kuga looks shining for Yashiro? Because Kuga resisted his fate. He has twisted parents like Yashiro, but he didn’t give in. He resisted to his twisted parents, he resisted when he was in the Reformatory. He resisted when Yashiro forcefully remove his resident (Isn’t this something similar to what Misumi san did to Yashiro BTW?) Even when he had no choice but had to live as a gangster, he still chose not to be Yashiro’s subordinate.

Choices that Yashiro never get to make.

“...I accepted everything and live until now. I don’t feel pain, and I don’t blame anyone. My life is not anyone’s fault...”----Yashiro CP 8

“....However, Nanahara. In this world, there are parents who betrayed their children, and children who betrayed their parents. Betrayal happens no matter blood-related or not. It’s all fate. It’s not anyone to blame.”

----Yashiro CP 20

Yashiro has been acceptance for his whole life. He accepted his twist, accepted his shame, accepted his fate. He “accepted everything and live until now” as he stated.

This Yashiro, finally for once, he resisted.

----If I don’t get to choose my life, then I am going to choose my death.

After 36 years of his life. Maybe, something has changed within him.

Reference from----

<<Suicidal Behavior>>----By Paula J. Clayton

https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/suicidal-behavior-and-self-injury/suicidal-behavior

<<Measuring the Suicidal Mind: Implicit Cognition Predicts Suicidal Behavior>>----By Matthew K. Nock, Jennifer M. Park, Christine T. Finn, Tara L. Deliberto, Halina J. Dour, Mahzarin R. Banaji

Special Thanks to----

紫殇迹沫 https://m.weibo.cn/u/5520613947

My Mentor in Saezuru Analyze

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru #saezuru analysis #saezuru fandom #yashiro

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imaginationofacrazyfangirl · 4 years

Text

Plotlines of BTS Music Videos According to My Drunk Ass

Just to be clear I am not promoting drinking to minors or anything like that. Plus I am of age so whatever.

Music Video 1: Fire

Let’s just put it out there that the whole plot of the music video is about a group of hooligans causing trouble around their neighbor hood. Moreover it starts with them and the reader hanging out at the town’s youth center. Supposedly they all (except Jimin) have grown up together, learning how to survive the streets and deal with the shit life’s thrown at them.

Now onto the key characters:

Min Yoongi: The badass gangster who enjoys causing chaos and mischief. He’s the one who creates the most drama by actively engaging in criminal activities simply for the fun of it. He constantly tags buildings and picks fights with other people. Think of it this way: Yoongi is the one everyone watches out for, because he has no problem meeting a pipe to your face.

That said naturally his character is rather antagonistic and anti-social as well. While he does care about the members of his group, Hoseok is the only one he truly trusts to let in. Moreover his relationship with the reader is that of an older brother who finds their sibling annoying so they constantly bully them; that said anyone who messes with you better watch the fuck out. You are his pest after all.

Jung Hoseok: The brotherly bad boy who has way too much fun being naughty. Both Yoongi and J-hope share one thing in common, they enjoy being bad boys. However while Yoongi leans more towards apathetic chaos, J-hope merely enjoys the thrill and status comes along with the title. He is the type to cause trouble when others are watching or his friends are there, but never the one to plan it. Honestly Hoseok is a bit of a ladies man always bragging about his reputation to impress, but really he does that to everyone.

He’s officially the group’s hype man. The one everyone trusts immensely, because at the end of the day what Hoseok is really proud of is his family (you guys) and does everything he can to protect/make you guys happy. Like Yoongi, Hoseok acts as a big brother figure towards. Unlike Yoongi, he’s always thrilled to see you.

Jeon Jungkook: The innocent newbie corrupted by his “big brothers,” probably rather self-explanatory. As the youngest Jungkook wasn’t around when the group started (the group being you and the Maknae line). In fact he’s the latest addition to the neighborhood, moving there with either his single mother or foster parents. At first the poor boy is so out of place in the neighborhood dealing with life and constantly bullies, it only adds to his misfortune that you meet him. Yes, you the reader can be blamed for introducing Jungkook into thug life (lol thug life); not purposefully of course you simply saw the baby bunny and took him under your wing. If anything you try to protect him, while keeping Jungkook away from all the trouble.

To Jungkook, you are the mother/older sister figure he has never had. He cares deeply for you, practically following you around like a lost duckling. However Jungkook also idolizes the others and wishes to become like them. Thus, causing him to get into trouble.

Kim Namjoon: The muscles-first off let me say how sorry I am for this. Joon is legit my ultimate basis and the smartest of them all yet he plays the meathead in this plotline. Why? Oh god why? I don’t know, but he does.

Namjoon is the second member of the group no one wants to piss off. Not because of any sociopathic tendencies like Yoongi, but because Namjoon punches harder than the six of them combined. He’s literally the armored shield that steps in between members and those who threaten them. Now I don’t have as much facts on him as the others, but I can say this: Namjoon is a follower not a leader here, and like Yoongi, he find you annoying-although he is less antagonistic about than other is. Also like Yoongi, he’ll beat the living shit out of anyone who messes with you.

Kim Taehyung: The introverted computer genius who prefers technology over people. In this plotline our bubbly Tae, plays an awkward anti-social computer genius who really doesn’t know how to interact with people on a massive level. Remember that character in tv shows, that is friends with everyone despite having odd tendencies and never leaving home? Well, that Taehyung. He spends most of his days playing computer or videogames, only to occasionally come up with some genius deceive or program that helps the group out. To outsiders, he’s a freak, but to the group he’s their family and no one mess with family.

While Taehyung barely interacts with the others, the one person he does interact with is the reader. This is mainly because of your caring nature and patience. Out of everyone, you more than anyone accept his quirks. Which is why he has such a crush on you. Sadly our poor Tae won’t make the cut in this plotline.

Park Jimin: The stereotypical prep who pays the group to join them in their mischief. Now we are getting close to the heart of the story. Although not the antagonist of the plotline, Jimin definitely gets the ball rolling by bribing you guys into letting him join the group for a week or two. This boy is literally that rich kid rolling around in daddy’s money, but find life a bore. Like many others he idolizes the trouble you get into and wants in on that bad boy life. Initially he annoys everyone, but by some miracle he actually manages join by earning your guys’ trust somehow.

Note you and him have an especially rocky relationship at first, thanks to his flirty ‘I’m hot’ attitude. To him, you are different from all the other girls. You are from the other side of the track making you a forbidden fruit. To you, he’s just a moron who doesn’t realize how good he has it.

Kim Seokjin: Ex-leader gone Captain America, he is the definition of bad boy gone good. Once the esteemed leader of your group of misfits, Jin now finds himself determined to move away from crime and go to college by playing sports. He wants to prove to you all, that succeeding in life is a possibility without committing crimes. This goal especially means a lot to him, because Jin sees himself as responsible for everyone in the group .Unfortunately turning over a new leaf has left him alienating the group and in turn getting alienated by them. He constantly struggles between staying on the righteous path and not involving himself in group matters. (Note: he can never stay away when one of you are in danger.)

What’s really interesting about Jin’s character is his relationship with you. Out of everyone in the group you are the one he cares most about. In fact it can be said you are the reason behind his drastic change and determination to leave the neighbor hood. Ironically though that doesn’t mean you understand his actions or reasonings. To you, abandoning everyone is unforgivable and you two often go head to head on your beliefs. In the end however, Jin is the love interest of this plotline.

.........Also they have a band..........

Anyway that was extremely embarrassing to write, but I hope you enjoy my crazy plotlines and let me know if you want to read about the other ones I have.

#bts #jimin #min yoongi #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #jeon jungkook #Jung HoSeok #hoseok #jin #park jimin #bts imagines #jin x reader #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #yoongi x reader #jimin x reader

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awxward · 3 years

Text

Potential

gen // 3.7k words

I had the idea of Juza hugging Kumon and his mom, crying bc he was finally able to audition/get accepted into theatre, and then I wrote this.

read on a03

gift for @xxxbookaholic

Juza had told his mother and brother about his dreams of being an actor a lot. They supported him through it all. He went to auditions for the school plays and was turned down immediately. In his first year of middle school, he stopped going to auditions. What was the point if he was only going to be turned away in the end? Juza had long since given up hope on his dream, yet now, just a few years after he had given up he got to see his cousin on stage. Muku who had always been anxious and shy was standing boldly on stage and being a new person. Juza wished he could do that. To stand on stage and be someone that people would be afraid of or start fights with. He wanted a place to escape. After the play had ended, Juza got up to leave, he didn’t want to embarrass Muku by showing his face backstage, besides Mom was back home with Kumon who was sick with a fever and could probably use some help around the house. A small flyer caught his attention. He wasn’t sure why he grabbed it, he just knew he had to keep it away from his family. He had long since given up on his dream to stand on stage, he hadn’t auditioned in years, he hadn’t been to a theatre in years before tonight, and still, he found himself folding the paper into a small square and shoving it in his pocket.

Mankai Company is looking for actors for the new Autumn Troupe. Auditions are going to be held tomorrow, August 28, at 9 am in the Mankai Theatre.

When Juza got home he kept the paper in his pocket so it wouldn’t be found and put his jacket on his bed. All auditions ended the same for him. He knew he’d be turned away at the door. If he didn’t tell mom or Kumon, well it’d just keep them from feeling sad for him. He went to check on Kumon who was sleeping, and made his way back to his room to get ready for bed. He fell asleep to thoughts of standing on stage.

The next morning, Juza got ready quicker than normal. He didn’t want to be late to the auditions. Better to be early so nobody else could see him get turned away as soon as he walked in. He checked his jacket pocket and sighed in relief, the paper was still there so nobody knew. He checked on Kumon, who was still sleeping and feverish, before hugging his mother and telling her he’d be back a little bit later.

Juza would have been on time had it not been for the punk Banri following him and trying to pick fights with him every other minute. Now, because he had to spend so long trying to ditch Banri, he was late and would have to deal with the embarrassment of everybody seeing him turned away at the door.

He looked at the theatre sign. Maybe he could just walk away now and forget about all of this.

“Excuse me, are you here for the Autumn Troupe auditions?”

Juza turned around, very surprised at the sudden voice next to him. It was a shorter man with glasses and a really bad sense of style.

“Don’t be shy, come on in!”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Isuke Matsukawa, the manager at Mankai. The director is inside with the Summer Troupe and a couple others who just walked in. Would you like me to show you to the stage where the auditions are going to be?”

Juza was confused. This short man, Matsukawa, was offering to show him to the stage for auditions? Was he really not going to be turned away? Would he actually have a chance? For the first time since he saw the paper, he wished he had mentioned it to his mom and brother. They’d be so happy he’d get to actually audition.

“Thank you. That would be nice, sir.”

“You can drop the sir part, it makes me feel old. Anyway, follow me!”

Matsukawa led Juza into the theatre where he had been the night before, watching Muku shine on stage. Today he saw the summer troupe in casual clothes and two boys who were chatting with everybody there. In the middle of the group was the odd one, the only girl. She had long brown hair that went down to her waist and Juza thought her eyes looked like they were the same color as caramel.

“That’s Izumi Tachibana, the director. She’s doing the auditions today!”

Juza suddenly felt his heart drop. Girls tended to avoid him or run away from him and if she was doing the auditions, she probably wouldn’t take him seriously, if she even let him up on stage at all.

“Director” Matsukawa called out and Izumi looked up and smiled. “I found someone interested in auditioning!”

He led Juza down to the group, and suddenly he was standing next to Muku.

“Ju-”

Juza slightly shook his head. He didn’t want them to think any less of Muku because they were related. It’d be best if Muku didn’t talk to him casually.

“What’s your name?” Izumi asked as Matsukawa made his way outside.

“Juza Hyodo.”

“Hi, Juza, I’m Izumi Tachibana, the director of Mankai Company. The summer troupe is here helping with auditions!”

“I’m Muku Sakisaka.”

“Kazunari Miyoshi, my dude! Nice to meet you!”

“I’m Yuki Rurikawa. Yes, I wear dresses and yes, I am a boy. Hack, just because you’re a celebrity doesn’t mean you happen to be exempt from introductions!”

“I know that! And I’m not a hack! Tenma Sumeragi, Summer Troupe leader.”

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiii! I’m Misumi! Do you like tri-tri-triangles?”

This was a weird bunch of people. “Nice to meet you all and triangles are cool I guess?”

The purple haired one, Misumi smiled at him and shoved something in his hands. “Here’s a Mr. Triangle for you! He’ll give you good luck!”

“Misumi.” Izumi called out. “We’ve talked about this. You have to ask if it’s okay to give them a Mr. Triangle.”

“Because people may not like it being shoved at them and I need to wait for an answer?”

“Exactly! I’m glad you remember it, but you should apologize and ask if he wants to still hold it, okay?”

“Okaaaaaay.” Misumi turned away from Izumi back to him. “Sorry for shoving a Mr. Triangle at you. I should have asked if you wanted to hold him before giving him to you, because it��s rude to randomly shove things at people and I should have waited so you could answer. Do you still want to hold Mr. Triangle?”

Juza smiled at him. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll hold him. Thank you.”

Misumi smiled. “Yay! Juza likes the Mr. Triangle!”

“Alright boys, if you’re auditioning I want you to line up in front of the stage! Summer Troupe, you can sit down along the first row if you want.”

Juza made his way to the stage next to two others. A man with brown hair and a scar on his chin and a boy with red hair. They both smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I found another one interested!” Matsukawa burst in and Juza felt his heart drop as he stared at the face who was beside him, Banri Settsu.

“I didn’t say I was interested, asshat! I was looking for someone to fight!”

“What are you doing here?”

Banri noticed Juza standing there. “That’s my line, asshole.” He took a step forward and Juza followed suit. Red hair looked like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Brown hair had a look on his face that Juza couldn’t read.

“Well, this isn’t very peaceful.” Brown hair spoke up.

Suddenly Red hair’s face lit up. “I know you, Juza! You go to my school!”

Banri shot off another insult and Juza fired one back. They kept this going until a voice cut through.

“Will the both of you stop with the shouting! If you don’t wanna be here then leave. The only fights that should happen in theatre are stage fights!”

Juza and Banri both froze to see a blonde man standing in the doorway with a very serious look on his face. Juza stepped back beside red hair. Banri stood on his other side. Izumi’s face lit up. Juza noticed Muku looked scared. If he learned that the blonde man had somehow hurt Muku, he would fight him right here.

“Thank you for coming! I didn’t think you’d make it!”

“Wait, Sakyo was the other person you scouted for Autumn?”

Juza filed this information away. If Muku knew the man’s name was Sakyo and looked scared of him, something might have happened and Juza was ready to throw punches if he learned of any incidents.

“It’s the Yakuza.” Green hair said, Juza thought they said their name was Yuki, but he couldn’t remember.

And then his full line hit Juza as red hair spoke up. “Y-yakuza?”

“Now, now, looks can be deceiving.” Izumi spoke up. “Sakyo has watched over the theatre for years. He knows and loves this company more than anybody else here. I think he’s a necessary asset to us.”

“So he’s not just a scary debt collector?” Tenma asked.

“Can we stop with the idle talking and get on to acting? I have other things to do today.” Sakyo spoke up.

Izumi nodded and gestured for him to join the line and then passed lines to everybody. “When you boys go up on stage I want you to introduce yourself and tell us your experience with acting, then recite the lines I gave you.”

Brown hair went up first. “My name is Omi Fushimi, I’m a uni student at Yosei University, and I’m in the photography club. I’ve never acted before.”

Juza thought Omi did well. His voice was loud and clear, even if he didn’t know how to move. He finished and Izumi gestured for him to join Summer Troupe in the front row.

Red hair walked up. “My name is Taichi Nanao, and I’m a second year at O High! I’m a total newbie to this as well!”

For being a total newbie, Taichi did amazing. His voice was loud and clear, and his actions were a bit clumsy, but you could tell what he wanted to show.

Izumi pointed at Banri and he went up. “Banri Settsu, Hana High third year. Never been on a stage before.”

Juza hated to admit it, but Banri was good. He had good timing for pausing and expressed his emotions clearly, his voice was loud and clear. He was even better than Taichi had been.

“Are you sure you’ve never been on stage before?”

“Yeah, but it ain’t no problem for me.”

“Alright. Can you come join the others on the front row? Juza, you’re next.”

Juza was terrified. “I’m Juza Hyodo, a third year at O High. I’ve never acted before.”

He went through his lines and when he was done he looked into the audience seats. Summer Troupe looked intrigued, Omi had a sad smile on his face, and Taichi gave him a thumbs up. Banri started laughing.

“You are the worst, Hyodo, I swear-”

“Banri, if you are going to bully Juza or anybody else you will not be allowed to join this company do you understand.” Izumi had a steely look on her face and Juza imagined that if she got really angry she’d be scarier than the Sakyo guy.

“I want to join the theatre, please.” Juza ignored Banri and bowed as low as he possibly could.

“Stand up, Juza. You can join.” Izumi smiled softly at him.

“Really?”

“Of course. Go sit in the front row.’

“How do you plan to improve Hyodo’s acting?”

“Izumi makes training regimens for each actor so they can work on the things they struggle with! They’re really fun and the others are always happy to join you if you want them too! They helped me be less anxious!” Muku spoke up. Summer troupe nodded.

“Yeah, Sakuya, the Spring Troupe leader, said that she’ll adjust the regimens as needed!” Tenma added on. “She does her research and thinks about what would be best for each actor to develop and grow, both on and off stage!”

“So he’s really going to join?” Banri seemed like he was trying to convince himself it was a joke.

“It’s better to have someone with little talent and lots of passion than someone with some talent and no passion. If you don’t like it, you can leave, the door is back there, boy.”

“What’d you just say to me, you old man?”

“Alright, both of you, stop it. Juza is joining and that’s final. Juza, you can come find a seat down here.”

Juza sat beside Misumi and pulled the Mr. Triangle out of his pocket. “Do you want your triangle back?”

Misumi smiled at him. “You can keep him! He’s going to bring you good luck!”

Juza smiled at him. “Thank you, Misumi.”

Sakyo walked on stage. “I’m Sakyo Furuichi. I work with the Ginsenkai Family. I acted as a kid, but I haven’t been on stage since.”

Though he said he hadn’t been on stage since he was young, Juza could tell he remembered the basics. His voice was clear and smooth, and his actions were clumsy like Taichi’s but he was able to cover up some of the clumsiness by changing his actions.

“Welcome, boys, to the Mankai Company Autumn Troupe! Now, for some smaller details now that you’ve joined. Mankai company has dorms that are available if you want to stay there. If you are a minor, I will need to call and talk to your parents to get their permission. If you don’t want to stay in the dorms, or you are unable to, you can still travel between the theatre and your house.”

The other four boys volunteered to stay in the dorms and after some phone calls Banri and Taichi were allowed to join Omi and Sakyo in the dorms.

Izumi turned to Juza. “Would you like to stay in the dorms? Moving day is next Saturday.”

“Can I talk to my family first and talk to you about it later?”

Izumi smiled. “Of course. Sakuya from Spring Troupe is usually here practicing, but the others come in often as well, so stop by here and someone can lead you to the dorms to talk to me, okay.”

Juza nodded. The boys all went their separate ways.

Juza felt like he was in a dream his entire walk home. For the first time in his life, he was able to audition and he got accepted in, even though he was so bad compared to everyone else. He opened the door. “I’m home.”

“Welcome back, Juza!” His mom poked her head around the corner. “Juza, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Huh?”

“His mom wiped her thumb across his face. “You’re crying. Did something happen? Are you hurt?”

“I- actually, is Kumon awake?”

“Yeah, his fever went down a bit. He’s been waiting for you. Let me check you for injuries.”

“Mom, I’m not injured, I swear, but I need to talk to you and Kumon together, so I’ll bring him to the couch, okay.”

“If you insist you aren’t hurt, I’ll believe you, but if you are lying to me, you’ll be in trouble.”

“Understood.” Juza smiled and made his way to Kumon’s room. He knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Hey, Kumon. Are you feeling better?”

Kumon beamed at him. “Yep! My fever went down a bit! Are you crying? Is everything okay? Did you get hurt? Does mom know?”

“Kumon, I’m not hurt.”

“Pinky promise?” Kumon held up a hand, pinky extended.

Juza linked their hands, “Pinky promise.” Kumon smiled. “Good.”

“I do need to talk to you and mom together. Are you feeling well enough to go to the couch?”

Kumon nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Juza stayed by his side as they made their way down the hall to the living room. Kumon sat on the couch and tried to catch his breath. Their mom walked in and handed Kumon a glass of water before sitting down next to him. Juza sat across from them on the other couch.

“I didn’t tell you where I was going today.”

“Yes, you did leave that detail out when you left.”

“I found a flyer last night. For auditions for a theatre troupe.”

Kumon looked up with wide eyes and his mom smiled at him gently. “Is that why you were crying? Did you get turned away again?”

“No, they let me audition.”

His mom and Kumon froze for a moment before smiling like crazy.

“What happened, Juza?” Kumon was vibrating in his spot.

“I got accepted into the theatre company.” Juza was aware that tears were falling down his face again, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as his brother and mother ran over to hug him.

“Which theatre company did you join?”

“Mankai Company.”

“I’ve heard of them somewhere.”

“Auntie and Uncle mentioned them. It’s Muku’s theatre troupe.”

“You’ll be acting with Muku!”

“No, Mankai is split into four sub-troupes based on the seasons. Muku is in the Summer Troupe. I am in the Autumn Troupe.”

“That’s amazing!”

“There’s more. They have dorms. The director wanted to know if I’d be interested in staying there. Moving day is next Saturday, and she’ll need your permission to allow me to stay there.”

His mom smiled at him. “Do you want to stay in the dorms?”

“I do. There are other actors there I can learn from and I want to stay close so I can get along with my troupe mates.”

“Then I give my permission.”

“I’ll visit often, I promise.”

“Juza, what’s in your pocket?”

Juza pulled out the Mr. Triangle. “When I first walked into the theatre one of the Summer Troupe boys, Misumi, shoved it in my hands. He said it was a Mr. Triangle for good luck. He also told me I could keep it.”

“That was very kind of him.”

“It must really have good luck in it! You get it and then you can audition for the first time and you get accepted into the same troupe as Muku!

Juza smiled. “I think you’re right, Kumon.”

“When can I talk to the director about you staying in the dorms?”

“She said that tomorrow there’ll be guys in the theatre who can take us to the dorms to talk to her.”

“I wanna go too.”

“If your fever is still there, you’ll be staying in bed. If it’s gone, you have baseball practice.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Don’t worry Kumon. I’m sure you can stop by to visit the dorm sometime.”

“Okay.”

The next morning Juza wove through the streets with his mother until they were in front of the theatre. Juza opened the door.

“Citron, I don’t think that prop can be used as a sword1” A pink-haired boy was frantically trying to take a prop away from a man in a foreign looking outfit, who was laughing as he swung the prop around. The pink-haired boy looked up. “Oh, hello! I’m Sakuya, leader of the Spring Troupe! Can I help you?”

“I’m Juza Hyodo, this is my mom. I auditioned yesterday and needed to talk to my family about the dorms. I was told I could come here and someone would be able to bring me to the Director?”

“Nice to meet you, Juza! Nice to meet you, ma’am!” Sakuya smiled and jumped off the stage, the other one (Citron?) following close behind. “Just follow us!”

“Hi! I’m Citron!”

“Hello. Thank you.”

Sakuya and Citron led Juza and his mom down the road until they were in front of a large dorm building. Misumi was laying on the ground with a boy Juza didn’t recognize from auditions. Kazunari and Yuki saw Juza and made their way over.

“Hey! It’s Hyodle! What’s up, my dude? You here to talk to the director?” Kazunari was bouncing with energy.

“Hyodle?”

“Sorry, Friendly McExtrovert here gives everybody nicknames like that. I’m Yuki, in case you didn’t remember my name. There were a lot of names to remember yesterday.”

“We needed to talk to the director. Sakuya and Citron brought us here.” Juza looked around and realized the two had disappeared.

“They probably went back to the theatre. If they brought you here then they probably went back to clean up and lock up the theatre. They’ll be back soon.” Yuki turned and waved for them to follow.

Inside was chaotic. Several boys were running around. A couple of boys were arguing in the corner about something. Izumi stepped out from the hallway and all the boys froze.

“Please keep it down, I’m on the phone with Sakuya. He did well on his history test so he gets to choose what dinner is tonight.” She looked up and smiled at Juza and his mom. “I’ll be with you two in a moment, please, have a seat.”

Several boys finally noticed Juza and his mom standing awkwardly off to the side. Izumi stepped back into the room. “Would you two like to talk in the courtyard outside? Or maybe the kitchen?”

“The kitchen would be fine, dear.”

Juza and his mom followed Izumi back.

“Your name is Juza Hyodo, right?”

Juza nodded.

“Great! I wanted to make sure I remembered it properly.” She sent a smile to him and directed her attention to the side. “Are you his parent?”

“Yes, I’m his mother.”

“I’m assuming you’re here to talk with me about whatever decision you’ve made regarding the dorms.”

“You would be correct, dear. I wanted to let you know I’m giving permission for him to stay here.”

“That’s great! Saturday is move in day and we’ll decide roommates then too! Do either of you have questions about anything?”

“I have a few for you, dear.”

“Okay, ma’am. Juza, if you don’t have any questions you are more than welcome to go introduce yourself to the spring and summer troupes and explore the building.”

Juza nodded and got up.

This would be the start of a new Juza Hyodo.

#juza hyodo #kumon hyodo #a3!#my fic #autumn troupe

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randomfandomimagine · 4 years

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Reunion (Cloud Strife x Reader)

Characters: Cloud Strife, Zack Fair, Tifa Lockhart (feat. Jessie, Biggs, Wedge and others)

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Tags: Reunions, crossdressing, angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Mentions of death, spoilers for Crisis Core

Word Count: 4k words

Requested by anon: could you do a ficlet with a fem! reader for a Platonic!Cloud? my idea is where the reader was in SOLDIER (disguised as a guy) and when Hojo found out they kicked you out (quite violently). You were really close with Cloud and Zack, but once you were gone they thought they killed you. In other words I just want an angsty sweet reunion when he finds you working for avalanche back at the Seventh Heaven. (Points if you’re close with Tifa too). Thank you! I love your work so much! Ur a blessing ♡

A/N: I have never beat the original FFVII and I’m not sure what happens in canon with Cloud’s memories, so I took some artistic liberties to write this. Hope you enjoy!! Please please please give this some love, I worked so hard on it!!

Cloud Strife x Female Reader

[ B/N: Boy Name ]

Many terrors haunted Cloud. There were too many things he had lost, too many people he missed and too many burdens he carried. However, no matter how much he tried to forget them all or how tangled his mind was, one seemed to stand out: you. He had befriended you during his SOLDIER days, an unlikely friend in a strange place.

He vividly remembered you: the way your eyes twinkled when you spotted him, your shy smile and your gentle expression, the playfulness in your voice when you teased him. He thought of you fondly, one of the few things in his past that weren’t tainted by evil. Even then, you had still turned into a bad memory. Your mere existence made him sad because of your early demise. You had only ever been kind and still your fate was cruel and undeserved. Your only crime had been lying, and even that he wouldn’t blame you for. Others, however, found that sin to be unforgivable and punished you for it. With a sentence of death.

“Cloud?” Tifa called his name, bringing him back to reality. “Still with me?”

“Uh… yeah” He straightened up, surprised upon realizing how crestfallen he had made himself with his own thoughts. “Lead the way”

“I’m excited” His friend smiled, leading him to the Seventh Heaven. “We finally get to meet our new member. Everyone has been so secretive about them”

“Why?” Cloud focused on trying to follow the conversation, even if his thoughts pulled him back to the past.

“They’re Avalanche’s secret weapon”

“Hm…”

Tifa, not really catching his disinterest, continued talking.

“Apparently they have some serious military training”

“Uh-huh…”

Her voice became a dull background noise as his thoughts drifted without remedy. Even if she kept speaking, he had stopped listening.

He had dreamt about you again last night, and his mind betrayed him by dwelling on your memory. Inevitably, he drifted off to past thoughts, to his SOLDIER days when everything seemed exciting. He felt insecure and unworthy, but he was willing to improve. He was prepared to work hard and make his way to 1st Class. Zack was constantly by his side, taking Cloud under his wing. You completed the trio, and he couldn’t help but to think back to when he met you.

A tall boy with dark hair and sky blue eyes stood in the training room, crossing his arms and watching how the new recruits finished their exercise. He noticed how one of them struggled more than the rest and was more than happy to give him a little hand.

“Hey, newbie” He walked over to a specific soldier who just then finished with the squats. “Need some help there?”

You shook your head, completely breathless after the exercise, and leaned back on your butt until you were sitting down. Joining SOLDIER had been your dream for a long time, wanting to become strong enough to be able to help people. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, just didn’t imagine it would be this hard and exhausting.

“Come on” He held his hand out for you to take. “We all need help sometimes”

With a sigh, you took his hand in yours and let him pull you up. Once you were standing on your feet, you leaned your hands on your knees. It was hard to catch your breath. Despite how athletic you were, this was on a whole new level.

When you dared to look up at the boy, you found him showing you a wide friendly grin. Beside him now was a blond guy, with kind blue eyes that went along with his meek expression.

“It’s okay” The blond muttered. “It takes a bit to get used to”

You nodded your head, managing a tired smile in appreciation. The other one observed you in a mixture between amusement and sympathy and patted your back.

“You did well for the first day” He told you. “What’s your name?”

“Uh…. B/N” You carefully watched his reaction, and your heart began racing in anticipation.

“B/N? Nice to meet you” Unaware of your nervousness upon introducing yourself, he offered you his hand. “I’m Zack, this is Cloud”

You shook his hand, and waved with the other one at his blond friend. He timidly reciprocated with a small wave.

“Tell you what, kid” Zack put his arm over your shoulders, and you tensed up. “I’ll keep an eye on you and help you out”

An irrational fear took over you, as it was the first time someone got so close to you. Even if you had managed to push your way into SOLDIER without arising any suspicions over yourself, you were afraid they would know. Your secret was far too important to air it out, and it could get you in trouble. Big trouble.

While you appreciated Zack’s offer, you feared his friendship too much. What if he found out who you really were? How would he react? Would he still be friendly if he knew? Would he give you in to the authorities to have you punished for daring to deceive everyone?

“Don’t overwhelm him….” Cloud bashfully defended you, definitely noticing your awkwardness.

“No worries, Cloudy” Zack brushed it off. “B/N here just needs to get out of his shell”

“We…” The other one added. “We can help you train if you want”

“That would be nice” You replied, purposefully making your voice deeper.

“That’s the spirit!” The dark-haired boy chuckled. “And relax, man, you’re so tense!”

You lowered your shoulders, which were almost up to your ears. Still, even if you were trying to act natural you couldn’t relax, you couldn’t stop being tense. Because what would happen if anyone at SOLDIER realized you were a girl?

You nervously tapped your foot against the ground. Although you had joined Avalanche a bit ago and were starting to get used to it, you still got jittery. Even after the mission was over, the nerves still conquered your stomach.

“I swear, Y/N!” Jessie tugged at your hand, making you look at her instead of that far off point that you were staring at without seeing it. “You’re gonna love him!”

“Am I?” You smiled at her, pretending not to be restless still.

That recent mission reminded you too much of SOLDIER. It was ironic that Shinra, the very thing you once were a part of and now were trying to escape, had become what you were fighting against, confronting it head-on. It seemed to haunt you even as you adamantly tried to bring it down.

To make matters worse, Barret had announced to the group that they were calling their mercenary contact for the next mission. You hadn’t been with them long enough to have met him, because in those couple of days you had barely even grown accustomed to their company.

Barret didn’t talk to you more than necessary, even if you could tell he was a big softie, especially when you saw him with his daughter Marlene. Biggs and Wedge had been kind and welcoming while still trying to give you some space. Jessie was the most outspoken, and clearly the one more determined to make you feel at home. It painfully reminded you of someone else whose personality was bubbly and extroverted that you had met in the past.

“For sure!” Her very voice snapped you out of your nervous thoughts again. “Cloud is the best, even if he likes to pretend like he’s a tough guy”

You tried not to wince at the mention of his name. How cruel was it that you ran into someone else called Cloud? A part of you had hoped it was the same Cloud you befriended in SOLDIER, but it just wasn’t possible. He must have become a SOLDIER, 1st Class like he wanted to. Who knew? You might even have fought him with Avalanche without realizing, unaware that his spiky blond hair and kind blue eyes were hidden under one of those helmets.

You shook your head. No. It just so happened that there was another Cloud in Midgard. It was too painful to get your hopes up for a sweet reunion… even if you had daydreamed about it countless times. Cloud and Zack had been so important to you… Fondly looking back at them, you hoped they were doing okay.

Zack’s laughter was contagious, and you couldn’t suppress a smile as you triumphantly stood up and towered over Cloud. Pouting a bit, he averted his gaze and didn’t move from the spot, sitting on the ground and leaning an elbow on his propped up knee.

“And the winner is… B/N!” Zack took your arm and lifted it up. “I knew you had it in you, kid”

Cloud still didn’t speak. His cheeks were a deep shade of pink, and you couldn’t tell if it was because of the squats you had beat him at or because of the embarrassment. Maybe both.

“Okay, Zack” You playfully pushed him off you, moving towards Cloud. “Stop torturing him”

“I’m not torturing anyone, he did great” Zack leaned down to pat his friend’s shoulder. “You just did better”

Even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud, a sense of pride bubbled in your chest. Boys were generally stronger than girls, but you had bested one of them after training hard for weeks on end. Still, you felt bad for Cloud and offered him a hand.

“No hard feelings?”

“Sure”

He smiled at you as you pulled him up, wobbling because of all his weight. Zack chuckled as he put his hands on your back to stabilize you.

“Who would have known a skinny guy like you would become such a good SOLDIER?”

The comment might have offended you when you first met him, but you knew Zack meant it as a compliment. After all, you would never forget the day you first met. You had felt helpless and not capable of making it in SOLDIER. You were shorter and smaller, but you didn’t let that stop you. Now you were stronger and resilient, even more so than some of the boys there.

The three of you gasped, startled, when the door to the training room suddenly swung open. In came Sephiroth, Hojo and Lazard, seemingly very angry and determined.

“No…” You uttered, with a nasty feeling in the pit of your stomach. What if…?

No, you had been very careful. It was impossible. You had disguised yourself to the point that not even Cloud and Zack discovered you despite being so close, despite spending so much time together. You had even found a way to avoid Hojo’s tests, knowing he would discover your identity if you got too close. They had no way of finding out… right?

“That’s her” Sephiroth pointed a finger at you, bearing no expression.

“Her?” Zack repeated, taking a step forward. “What’s going on?”

“B/N is an imposter!” Hojo accused, scowling at you. “She is a woman”

“What?” Your friend shook his head at them. “There must be a misunderstanding”

Terrified of what they might do, you took a few steps back. Cloud stood behind you, and you stepped right into him. His hands protectively fell on the small of your back, and when you looked up you found with his gentle blue eyes. They were so expressive. There was confusion in them, but also alarm and concern and fear all at once.

“Get her” Lazard said, and just then two soldiers appeared from behind him.

“No!” You screamed as they approached you. “Please!”

In your panic, you retreated more into Cloud and pressed yourself against his chest. You felt his fingers hold on to the fabric of your shirt.

“No, don’t touch him!” Zack insisted, helplessly watching as the soldiers reached you. “You’re making a mistake!”

You exclaimed as the soldiers reached you and took ahold of you. Cloud didn’t hesitate to hold on to you, tightly grabbing you by the arms. The four of you struggled, but the soldiers were stronger.

“Stop that!” Zack begged them still, wincing at the sight of you.

Tears streamed down your face, knowing what awaited you if they took you. Now screaming, you were calling anyone for help. Cloud was your last hope as you tightly clung on to him, but they separated you from him.

“No!” He joined Zack in his attempts. “Stop it!”

“Lazard, please! I’m sure B/N isn’t-“ The brunette’s words were suddenly interrupted.

“Then what’s this?” Hojo showed them a picture, and everyone grew silent.

It was you in the photo, without a doubt. Before you cut your hair, before you hid your breasts and took all necessary precautions to pass as a boy.

The chaos that had erupted in the room suddenly came to a halt, replaced by a heavy awed atmosphere to replace the previously frantic one.

“What…?” Cloud uttered, watching you in astonishment.

“You’re a girl…” Zack said as well, even though is voice was a mixture of sadness and understanding.

“Don’t just stand there!” Hojo urged the soldiers, who came back to their senses.

“Take her” Lazard insisted when his subordinates turned to him for confirmation.

Shaking from head to toe, you let yourself be grabbed by them. Your mind was racing, frozen with the reminder of your friends faces. They weren’t angry, they didn’t feel betrayed. They were only surprised. You had been too scared to tell them, but now you realized you could have. How could you have doubted them?

“Wait…” Cloud stuttered as tears reached his eyes. “Wait, don’t… don’t hurt her!”

“Sephiroth…” Zack desperately called. “Sephiroth, do something! Don’t let them take her!”

The 1st Class Soldier didn’t say anything. He only turned around as you were dragged away from your friends. Sephiroth glanced down and faced his back to them.

You tensed up when you heard a cry full of rage, followed by Zack throwing himself to them. Cloud made to move, wanting to support his friend, but he was still too taken aback by the situation to act.

Obeying a gesture from Lazard, two more soldiers entered the room and intercepted Zack. He struggled against them, fighting to return by your side and save you.

“Don’t!” You pleaded, letting yourself use your natural voice for the first time in months. “Don’t do this, Zack”

“I don’t care if you’re a boy or a girl, I won’t let them-”

“Let me go” You shook your head, trying to put an end to his endeavor. “Don’t get hurt because of me”

You quickly glanced at Cloud behind him, noticing how his eyes were drowned in tears. He was still frozen in place, prey of an overwhelming shock and uncertainty. The sight made your own tears overflow, staining the track that the old ones left again.

“Take care…” You whispered to him, trying to memorize his face. A last comfort before you met your end.

Cloud parted his lips, but they only shook as no words left them. A tear rolled down his cheek, and it was too painful to keep looking at him. Glancing at Zack, you realized he was now just as heartbroken. He had given up, understood that it was impossible to fight for you.

Accepting your fate, you began moving. You exited the room and heard the door loudly closing behind you. A ruckus broke out inside it as Zack still fought against them. A second person had joined him in his outrage, and you sobbed knowing it was Cloud.

You walked directly behind Sephiroth, who walked beside Hojo and Lazard. As you were taken with them, Sephiroth’s long silver hair and his broad back was etched in your memory. It would be one of the last things you’d see. Just like the voices of your dear friends would be one of the last things you’d hear as they called out for you, by the fake name they knew you by but still begging for your life.

Even if you trusted them, you had been too afraid to completely expose yourself to them. What would have happened if you did? What would have happened if you told them you were a girl? A part of you had always known the answer: they would have protected you. Zack and Cloud cared about you, not because you were a boy or a girl or anything else… they cared about you because they were your friends... because you were their friend.

You hadn’t trusted them with your secret. You had been too afraid to tell them. And know they would have to live with your death.

Everything seemed oddly silent, as if the usual sounds had dimmed slightly. There was the murmur of voices inside the bar, but no loudness. Cloud’s boots seemed to echo as his feet moved over the wooden steps that led to the entrance. Even Tifa, who seemed so talkative, had grown quiet. Cloud brushed that feeling off, assuming it had more to do with his thoughtful mood. Everything was normal.

When he came in, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Barret played with Marlene, Biggs and Wedge talked and laughed, and Jessie was high-fiving someone she was talking to.

“Hello!” Tifa cheerfully greeted everyone, gathering their attention.

You looked up to find out who that mysterious merc was. The sun behind him shadowed his slim figure as well as the curvier one that accompanied him. Mildly curious, you kept your gaze glued to them as they walked in. Once the door closed behind them, your eyes grew used to the light and you could see them properly.

The woman was slightly familiar, but you didn’t pay mind to her as she walked behind the bar. It was the man who you were more interested in. When you took a good look at him, your heart skipped a beat.

That merc, that man allegedly called Cloud, walked in without noticing you. His eyes had fallen on you, but there was no recognition in them. Barret was telling the newcomer something, but you didn’t hear.

Surely, your mind was playing tricks on you, and that man looked more like Cloud to you than he actually did. Of course, it wasn’t him. It was an amazing coincidence that on top of the name he also had spiky blond hair, but that was the only similitude with your memory of Cloud. This man before you was cold and rough, nothing like the sweet, meek and shy boy you knew. His eyes were also greener than you remembered. Still, the more you stared at him, the more you realized… it was Cloud. Despite the change in his demeanor, in his eyes, in the way he carried himself, in his entire persona... it was Cloud, the one you knew years ago. The one whose face you had tried to memorize as you resigned yourself to your death.

Destiny was capricious. You had survived and you had escaped. He had too. And now you were together again. You both had followed similar paths.

“Y/N?” Biggs called you, gently shaking your shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, you just got very pale” Wedge’s words seemed to alarm the rest as well.

Everyone turned to you, but you only had eyes for one of them. Your feet moved on their own as you approached Cloud with determination.

“What the hell?” He whispered, frowning as you directly went over to him.

“Cloud” You threw your arms around his neck, feeling too happy and relieved to see him to realize his reaction. “It’s so good to see you!”

“What’s going on?” He spoke up, his voice sounded annoyed as his arms lifted a little trying to avoid touching you. “Do I know you?”

“You…” Slowly pulling away, you stared into his eyes. “You don’t recognize me?”

Cloud hesitated, and so did you. His voice was so… deep, so irritated and so harsh. He really felt nothing like the boy you had known. What had happened? He changed so much…

Your vulnerable expression seemed to snap something in him, because his eyes suddenly grew wide. His mouth fell agape, staring at you as though you were a ghost.

“B/N?” He uttered, recognizing your features despite never having seen you as a girl. Except that one time in that picture, when he thought it would be the last. “You’re alive?”

“B/N, is that really you?” The woman who had walked in with him uttered from behind the bar. It finally clicked why she was so familiar. If that was indeed Cloud, that had to be…

“Tifa!” You ran to each other, colliding in a warm hug accompanied by breathless tearful chuckles.

Despite not being close, you had known Tifa through Cloud and Zack. She had always been kind and friendly and you were so glad to see her, comforted by her familiar face and warm demeanor.

“You look good as a girl” She joked, breaking away to take a good look at you.

“Thanks, I-“ You began to say, but were interrupted by a deep voice.

“B/N” Cloud said, staring at you as though you were the only person in the room. Despite the emotion in his eyes, his expression remained neutral. “That’s not your real name, is it?”

“No…” You whispered, suddenly feeling a lump in your throat. “It’s Y/N”

“Y/N…” He repeated, nodding his head in deep thought.

The temperature of the room seemed to fall drastically. Something in his tone was ice cold. The silence was absolute, only interrupted by the noise coming from the windows, a reminder that life went on outside of the bar.

“Um… you’ll explain everything later” Biggs muttered, standing next to the pinball machine. “Seems like you need a moment alone”

“Yup, leave you guys to it!” Jessie awkwardly said, sinking into the secret room. One by one, all of her friends followed until you were alone with Tifa and Cloud.

“We have a lot of catching up to do” Tifa sweetly smiled, returning behind the bar. “I’ll prepare some drinks”

You and Cloud stood before one another. His eyes never once left you, looking you up and down as though trying to make sure that you were actually there, that you were real and not one of his many dreams.

“Well…” You awkwardly said, needing to break that suffocating silence. “Where’s Zack?”

Cloud suddenly grimaced, groaning and clutching his head. Concerned, you were about to lean in and put a hand on his arm, but ultimately decided not to do it. You still weren’t sure he wasn’t mad at you. After all, you kept an important secret from him. You lied to him and pretended to be someone you were not. All of this was something you didn’t know he could forgive and you were too scared that he would push you away.

“B/N… I mean, Y/N?” Tifa called, and so you glanced at her. She only shook her head.

The air suddenly left your lungs as you understood what that somber gesture meant. A sob got caught in your throat at the realization. You had been lucky enough to reunite with Cloud, but you would never be able to see Zack again.

Turning back to the blond, you wondered the impact this had on him. After all, he and Zack had been very close and when you left, believing you were dead…

“Oh!” You gasped when a force suddenly made you stumble.

Confused, you paused to notice Cloud’s arms wrapped around you. They urgently pressed you against his chest. An invisible weight seemed to be lifted off your chest as you accepted and treasured his embrace with a sigh of relief.

“I’m glad you’re okay…” He whispered, and in his voice you recognized that softer tone you had been used to. The old Cloud seemed to be shining through the cracks as the new fake Cloud fell apart.

He was breathing heavily, squeezing you against him so tightly that he was hurting you. In spite of it all, you didn’t have the heart to complain. You almost couldn’t breathe, but it could have been because you were starting to sob.

“You too” You cried against his shoulder, now bawling your eyes out as you clung on to his shirt and he held you still.

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#rfi writings #ficlet #cloud strife x reader #cloud strife ficlet #ff #final fantasy vii remake #final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii ficlet #ffvii #ffvii ficlet #tifa lockhart #zack fair #faves #reader insert #requested

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emersonfreepress · 4 years

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What would the ro's be like in a zombie au?

whyyyyy anon whyyy. I'm actually gonna write this in like.. slightly different terms, you'll see. any time I even briefly think of a zombie au I'm just like

I WANNA WRITE IT SO BADDD

i don't even allow myself to entertain it for very long because getting into that would be the worst thing ever for my productivity with the alpha omg 😂😂 so I'll put like the ideas that pop into my head for writing a zombie au, to work some of that creative frustration out 😆

so in this very general, absolutely noncommittal idea of mine, the main cast are older and the setting is in and around a civilian settlement led by the Emersons.

and as a refresher, i like my zombie aus to have fast zombies and fast infections ^ ^ 28 Days Later/Train to Busan style babyyyy, we the Sprinting Dead up in this bitch 😆

= = =

Gabe is, predictably, looking for what's left of his family. Following rumors of safe havens and bunkers and such. Starts the story as someone who tries to be diplomatic, if not outright pacifist, but as times get tougher and resources dwindle, he'd become one of the most cutthroat motherfuckers in the wasteland. Low-key though, low-key. People won't trust you if they know you’re capable of throwing them to a horde for strategic reasons. Like if Rick turned into Shane (for those of us familiar with early Walking Dead--idk did that happen eventually? i gave up before we even met Negan lol). The end justifies the means :) Damn, I can legit see Gabe going full evil in a zombie au omg 😂😂 i want to write it so fucking bad

Preferred weapon for zed encounters: rifle

Preferred weapon for human encounters: handgun

Faith in humanity: fucking zero

Zombie kill count: plenty; the type to kill every zombie he has spare ammo and time for

Human kill policy: When it benefits him or the people he’s looking after

Survival rating: B+; he can make it out of some pretty dire situations through sheer will to live and ruthlessness

- - -

Kile has arrived--clearly, this is the timeline they belong in. They start their journey with Gabe (and their doggo) and stick to him like glue, even reluctantly so when Gabe eventually has them join the settlement. This can only go one way, though: Kile's just too much of a wildcard for the group and hates being told what to do. (Especially now that society has fallen, wtf) They'd make their exit alone and unannounced aside from a brief head’s up to Gabe. It's slightly bittersweet, but also? They get to loot and hunt and sneak around and kill fucking zombies, all by themself. Kile is a loner, a hiker, and a hunter to begin with so they do beyond fine on their own. However, once the inevitable violent human threat comes for the settlement, Gabe is sent out to convince Kile to come out of isolation, just this once please, to be the camp’s super soldier help defend the camp.

Zed weapon: p much anything they can get their hands on, ranged or melee, blunt or sharp, w/e; improvised weapons

Human weapon: hunting knife

Faith in humanity: never had any to begin with

Zombie kill count: lol infinite?? any zed they come across is double-dead if they have the time for it

Human kill policy: at Gabe’s direction or when provoked enough/threatened

Survival rating: A-; they trust no one, live in isolation, and prioritize survival above all else. only reason it’s not higher is they would risk their life for Gabe or their furbaby and also... their own Rambo-esque antics def attracts the occasional horde lmao

- - -

Jack... this poor boy, he doesn't deserve a zombie au 😂 He's one of those people that first believes zombies are just sick people, too squeamish to keep up with TV news coverage at the onset and too upset to consider anything else. He'd hunker down at home, staying holed up even while his neighbors evacuated, and probably be discovered while the main group is looting the same place as him. When people try to tell him the real state of the world, he'd be in denial until he absolutely couldn't be anymore. idk, probably after Kile shooting a bunch of non-lethal holes thru a zombie to make a point (attracting more in the process lol).

He’d almost immediately join the medical team at the settlement and as word spreads about how easy he is to talk to, he quickly becomes the literal on-site therapist. It's a role he embraces but... idk if it's an emotional burden he can bear. He's very emotionally resilient! But he ain't a professional lol imagine a whole settlement of traumatized zombie survivors seeking you out for counseling, yikes. He also can't say no to a person in need, so instead he quietly spirals into a very private depression while continuing to help others!!

Zed weapon: Oh gosh, do I really have to?

Human weapon: ...Kindness?

Faith in humanity: Unrealistically high

Zombie kill count: Single digit

Human kill policy: Not ever, unless completely unavoidable and to defend the defenseless

Survival rating: C...? idk, that feels generous. D+. To be protected at all costs!!

- - -

Jessie also had the initial reaction of hoping zombies could be saved, but she woke up from that dream swiftly. The science-minded person that she is, esp with her interest in biology, leaves her determined to find anybody who's got the intellect, expertise, and resources to start doing actual work toward a treatment, cure, vaccine—anything. Nothing would get her to finally unabashedly embrace her love of science (and innate leadership skills!!) faster than a zombie apocalypse! In fact, it’s thanks to her that the Emerson settlement’s got a small but growing team of scientists doing as much research as humanly possible to best educate the others on the outbreak and zombie behavior. Def no zombie experimentation going on though lol. ...Not yet, at least.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: rifle

Faith in humanity: High! We’ll find a solution! Don’t give up hope!

Zombie kill count: Double digits, but less than 30

Human kill policy: Only in unavoidable self-defense or defense of others

Survival rating: B! She has experience with ranged weapons, farming and gardening skills, first aid, camping experience, and a can-do attitude with a healthy dose of realism!

- - -

Rain remains cargo as I said in the last post about this 😆 They'd be very good for keeping clothes repaired and making useful modifications in the settlement, but their life up to this point has been very sheltered and privileged. We're talking somebody with a chauffeur and a personal chef before the outbreak! They would contribute to quality of life and homemaking efforts more than anything—an overlooked aspect of these scenarios tbh! After as many months of dragging their feet as possible and being nigh impossible to track down when you need them, they eventually become involved in meal planning and even help out with medical stuff if they're asked.

Zed weapon: how do you reload this thing again?

Human weapon: switchblade or other concealable sharp-pointy

Faith in humanity: Very low

Zombie kill count: 0! Can you believe it!

Human kill policy: Well if it’s you or me, of course I’m choosing me.

Survival rating: C. Being so tiny helps them find good hiding spots and their self-preservation is high enough to keep them from unnecessary risk-taking. Plus they're very stealthy! Self-defense is a major issue though, so hiding is always their best option.

- - -

Rupan/Rohan scouts for and leads scavenging missions and is Curt's right hand on the recruitment team. The two of them together are the perfect combo of diplomacy, debate, and deception--although R is more honorable about the last one and will only deceive for strategic reasons. When they aren’t looting and recruiting, they’re doing peacekeeping inside the settlement. Most social disputes end up getting brought to them for mediation and they’re pretty dang good at making and enforcing calls. One day they’ll wake up to realize they’ve basically become a sheriff and feel the need to puke their guts up and do something, anything, to reassure themself they’re still punk 😂

Zed weapon: SMG

Human weapon: shotgun

Faith in humanity: Believes in fundamental goodness but knows better than to trust first impressions

Zombie kill count: decent, more than 40; you won’t catch them having a field day tho, they’re trying to gtfo of most zed situations

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. And they aren’t, at all, immune to a revenge rampage either...

Survival rating: B-. Can handle themself both with humans and zeds but is vulnerable to hostage situations and truly difficult sentimental/interpersonal decisions!

- - -

Vivian/Vincent manages inventory and stock and they run it so efficiently it’s scary! They're the perfect pick: a hawk-eyed tyrant and tattletale 😂 Despite constantly butting heads with just about everyone on every imaginable thing, they quickly become an important part of the inner circle of decision-makers for the settlement at large. Terrible at stealth, jumpy, and squeamish at the sight of blood and gore, they literally never go on missions unless they're 100% needed for their expertise on a supply run. (They would deny all of these shortcomings are that big a problem, meanwhile R is definitely acting as their bodyguard lol.) When they do tag along, they're prone to becoming the damsel in distress. Seriously, it happens near every fucking time. It's like they just attract only the most improbable and perilous zombie attacks and hostage situations 😆

Zed weapon: shotgun

Human weapon: handgun

Faith in humanity: Medium; seeing people work together at the settlement helps restore it a bit

Zombie kill count: Double digits, under 25

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. Well, no, not by me! Get one of the ruffians to do it!

Survival rating: C-. They’d be higher if they weren’t such natural zombie bait.

- - -

Heidi is running the settlement, well-organized to the degree of actually managing to bring bureaucracy to a post-zombie apocalypse settlement 😂 People are free to come and go, but getting in if you don't live there requires trading something of value (fuel, med supplies, food, etc), temporary surrender and registry of firearms and explosives, and you gotta GTFO at the time and date specified upon entry! You can stay long-term if you contribute to the community in a tangible way—and each person admitted is approved by Heidi personally. Yes, every individual. No, she has no free time. And she is not known to be lenient with rule breakers—you want rule bending, you’ll have to go to Curt for that. People kind of hate her, but it can't be denied that she runs a tight ship. She kind of throws herself into the work to avoid the harsher reality at large and hasn't left the settlement in a long time. She's out of touch with how bad things have gotten in the wastes, but she knows better than to take reports at anything less than face value--even when she's skeptical.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: handgun; dagger

Faith in humanity: Medium. It fluctuates, honestly

Zombie kill count: Double digits, less than 20

Human kill policy: Violent threats must be taken out if they can’t be reasoned with. Spare those who surrender, eradicate those who don't, keep an eye on the newbies. Not tryin’ to nurse any vendettas around here lol

Survival rating: B. She's good with a firearm, masterful at persuasion, and savvy enough to calculate risks appropriately. Also far tougher than her prim exterior and demeanor suggests!

- - -

Curt leads the recruitment and reconnaissance teams! When a new person or group shows up in the area, Curt's the one who stalks watches them, decides if they're worth approaching, and if they should be approached with an invitation, a simple acknowledgment/announcement of their presence, or an outright armed warning to leave the area. He also keeps tabs on morale and general confidence inside the settlement, alongside R. When he isn’t leading those efforts, though, he’s flirting with settlers and squirreling his way out of manual labor and other chores. He’s also secretly growing weed at his place--don’t tell Heidi or Vi ‘cause they’ll wanna yell at him and ration it UGH.

Zed weapon: SMG, explosives

Human weapon: handgun, dagger

Faith in humanity: Pft, sorry, what now?

Zombie kill count: ...way more than you’d expect

Human kill policy: I don’t start confrontations, but I sure as fuck end them.

Survival rating: A! He’s good at playing hapless idiot when it suits him to be underestimated, good with firearms, and capable of being ruthless and decisive in life or death situations! Plus he has no qualms about ditching the settlement if he decides it’s not working out for him. Just don’t tell Heidi lol

#the rest are under the cuuuut #had to stop myself from writing too much SEVERAL times #love me a zombie apocalypse #lovely anon #answered #ROs #whoops got carried away lol #spent most of my work day finally finishing this ask because VIVA PROCRASTINATION #someone help ._.#phew #feels good to finally get it out of my system tho #now I can promptly never ever write it 😂#AUs #fave #scenarios

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scarletarosa · 5 years

Text

The Goetic Spirits

The entities mentioned in the Ars Goetia are a complex group of beings that have been severely misunderstood due to the Abrahamic religions. Should you wish to work with these entities, it is good to be aware of their background and the trauma they have been forced through. The Goetic demons are the ancient gods who joined Lucifer, the First Light, during their war against the Usurper, the Abrahamic god. All these entities have been through a great deal and so I despise anyone who attempts at controlling them, which Lucifer had managed to prevent from happening again years ago. But the trauma had still been done.

I would first like to make it very clear that attempting to enslave any spirit is horrid and cruel. Just because they aren’t human, it does not mean they are lesser beings and cannot think nor feel. These entities are ancient and know a great deal more than any human could, yet they choose to still be mentors despite their past traumas. If you want to work with the Goetia, keep in mind the pain and lies put upon them by humans and approach them with compassion and honesty. It is also beneficial to understand that spirits (depending on their species) have different morals than humans, so if you don’t like something they did, communicate that with them. Also please remember that the Goetic beings are Royalty in Hell, be respectful and dress in your best attire if you do not wish to offend them; they likely won’t get angry if it’s a mistake but just be sure to show proper manners. You wouldn’t act in certain ways towards human Royalty so behave in that manner towards the Goetia.

The way that demons teach humans is through strife and trials, for wisdom cannot be gained through walking a smooth path. The pillar of Enlightenment is gained by the worthy who fight tooth and nail to become wise, strong, and capable. Demons of Hell are thus mentors who guide knowledge-seekers through the fire and into the Truth. It is also good to keep in mind that the rulerships of demons were often written to be their opposites in order to make them seem evil, such examples are Lucifer being lies when he is truth/knowledge, Lilith being infertility when she is motherhood/fertility, Beelzebub being gluttony when he is physical health, Asmodeus being lust when he is love/compassion, Mammon being greed when he is generosity. So for this reason, do not judge these beings without speaking to them and learning from them, they will not deceive you, they have nothing to gain from that.

My workings with these entities have been nothing but kind and beneficial, but there are dangers to be aware of. I’ve noticed that some people who try to summon a demon end up getting an actual malicious being, the things I call “tar spirits”. These entities are basically hatred incarnates made of tar and they enjoy impostering demons in order to cause fear and further ruin their reputations. In order to prevent coming into contact with these malicious imposters, please remember to energetically ward your space completely (no gaps) and program it to allow only the demon in. Once ready, just speak to the demon of your choosing and request them to come see you, at which point you may begin talking to them and give an offering if you wish. Please remember to be respectful and don’t make any assumptions on what they’re like, they’ve been through a lot. This path is all about questioning things and seeking truth independently; not allowing oneself to be a sheep or dependent on what you read in books. Other than that, please always be cautious and don’t ever try to command these entities, just be generous as you would be with any other guest.

#goetic #demons #spirits #spirit work #theistic satanism #spirit safety #goetia

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iturbide · 3 years

Note

(CheeseAndCake here) It is done. More CC!Edelgard in Heroes has been sent! I tried to make it clear that, while Edelgard has changed a lot, and is showing the dragonkin propper respect, her mind is still jumping to the thoughts she used to have before she gets a hold of her thought process. It’s still there, but she doesn’t let it show or let those thoughts dictate her actions and is doing her best to change it. I’m so proud of her.

You and me both her development as a character is absolutely fantastic, especially in the way that she still jumps to certain thoughts and then forcibly grapples with those very thoughts because she’s conscious of the fact that she needs to work on that. I especially liked how she reminded herself that it’s the second thought that’s important rather than the first, because that’s really important for people who are trying to change: if we tell ourselves that the first thought is the only thing that matters, then we just feel ashamed and guilty for reacting in ways we’ve been conditioned to, and it stymies progress. She really is working hard on changing, and that is absolutely something to take pride in.

You know who else would be proud of her? The Bad End AU folks.

In the interests of keeping this at least kind of contained, I’ll just stick to the core group: Claude, Hilda, Ashe, Annette, and Nika.

Claude

After getting summoned, would take pains at first to avoid any Edelgard, in part because at the time he was summoned the Edelgard of his world probably doesn’t know he survived; he might even be going by his given Almyran name rather than his adopted Fodlani one, both to safeguard his identity and because he’s spent years back home where they use his true name...though the resemblance between him and the other Claudes would still give him away to some extent, even if he is older and wiser than they are.

CC!Edelgard would probably be the only one to actively seek him out, since the others tend to be very focused on their tasks and don’t care to make small talk with those who aren’t in their immediate circle of confidantes (Hubert, Byleth, etc; occasionally they would chat with Lysithea, but part of it would be trying to coax her to the Imperial side). The first time she does, he would spend a solid ten seconds trying to size up the situation (because he’s pretty sure that’s Edelgard, but she’s not in the Imperial reds, but is she just trying to get him to lower his guard, or is there something else going on here?); having known someone very much like him for quite a while, it would be all the proof she needs to say with certainty that this is, in fact, Claude, because she doesn’t know anyone else that will just stare so intently at something (or someone) they’re trying to figure out.

She might try for the same Almyran icebreaker that she used with Legendary Claude, and for a split second he would get chills because fuck did Edelgard conquer Almyra too -- wait, no, if she did she’d probably make Fodlani the standard language, huh. The only sign of those internal thoughts would be a slight sharpening of his gaze as he looks at her, which would soften again once he comes to his far less dire conclusion and actually processes the words she said -- though at that point he’d laugh because him? Ruler of Almyra? He’s an advisor, she clearly has him mistaken for someone else.

Of course then she tags him as ‘heir’ instead (using the Almyran term), and his smile gets a little sharper, because if he’s guessing she only figured that out recently -- if she knew he was a prince at Derdriu, he suspects that she wouldn’t have tried to kill him.

CC!Edelgard let him go, of course. But this is about as close to a direct admission as Claude’s ever come, and despite the maelstrom of thoughts and feelings swirling through her she pushes herself to ask if he’d like to talk about it over a game.

Claude isn’t one to pass up a game, honestly. So the board is set, and they talk about their worlds over several matches; they don’t realize how time passes, engrossed as they are in the games and conversation. Someone quietly brings them a meal once it gets late enough, and they each offer a distracted word of thanks, eating without ever putting the match on hold.

They discuss his world, and how the Edelgard he knew ordered his death, only for their professor to land a non-fatal (but convincingly mortal-looking) blow; how the situation in Fodlan made his dream as good as impossible, so he took an advisory position under his father when he returned to Almyra while establishing an information network stretching beyond its borders that he hoped would do Judith proud; how news of a Blaiddyd brought him secretly back to Fodlan to evacuate Dimitri’s half-brother Nikita, and how he’s tried to give Nika a life of his own choosing rather than molding him into a leader for Faerghus; and most of all, about the dire situation in Fodlan, and how Claude is willing to take the fight back across the border if that’s Nika’s choice once he comes of age so that the people there can live by their own choosing again.

They discuss her world, and how she saw her conquest through, only to realize too late that she’d been deceived and manipulated from the start by Those Who Slither; how she was taken captive again, subjected to worse than she’d suffered as a child, until Claude and Dimitri’s cousin Ivanna created enough chaos for her to break free; how she joined them in the fight to put an end to what she had forged, casting aside the title of Emperor and seeking only to atone for her past evils in whatever way she could -- beginning with changing herself, expanding her view of the world and her understanding of its people along with it.

Claude never imagined that Edelgard von Hresvelg, Emperor of Adrestia and Conqueror of Fodlan, would tell him that he’s right to try and stop her. But then, this particular Edelgard has seen where her ambitions end up. It’s heartening, in a way -- and while he doesn’t think she deserved what happened to her (no one deserves to suffer the way she did), he’s still glad that she’s managed to realize how narrow her previous worldview was, and he’s proud that she’s trying to broaden her horizons. They might not become friends, necessarily, but he would be willing to help her work on that in much the same way that the Claude she knew did, which she would appreciate.

He’d also teach her more Almyran just because he can. She’s going to go back able to hold basic conversations and just wait until her Claude hears that.

Hilda

Much like Claude, she might also be going by another name -- though in her case, it would be an assumed Almyran alias, since using her own name would be dangerous with her supposedly dying at Derdriu along with Claude. She’s gotten used to it, for sure, but she also can’t wave off suspicion anywhere near as well as Claude does, since she has the classic Goneril Pink palette going on (and, as Claude’s mom pointed out when they first met, she’s too old to be Holst’s kid, so sister makes more sense -- and Holst only has one sister, officially).

Also like Claude, she would do her utmost to avoid any and all Edelgards, and for much the same reason: she was supposed to have died at Derdriu, so Edelgard realizing she didn’t could put her and Claude both in danger. Lucky for her, most of the Edelgards don’t have much interest in cross-House socialization; however, CC!Edelgard takes an interest in Claude, and if there’s one thing Hilda absolutely will not allow, it’s someone threatening Claude, so when she sees the two of them in conversation, the second she recognizes that this is an Edelgard -- something that wouldn’t be immediately obvious to her, given the outfit change -- she’d be putting herself bodily between them with her axe at the ready.

Claude is far more amused by this than Edelgard is. She’s not big on having weapons pulled on her, understandably, and there’s a momentary face-off between Hilda with her axe and Edelgard with her dagger before Claude inserts himself between the two women and suggests they just talk this out like reasonable people.

“Since when has Edelgard ever been reasonable?” Hilda scoffs.

“Since I was robbed of my freedom and nearly my life at the hands of foes I’d underestimated too long, and Claude offered me a chance to atone for my past.”

That’s enough to make Hilda take a step back. Claude has no interest in speaking for or over Edelgard, but he acts as a mediator between them as they talk, calming arguments before they can get out of hand and generally guiding the flow of conversation. Hilda isn’t as quick to trust Edelgard as he is, but even she can’t deny that what the former Emperor went through was something no one should have to face; she’s at least willing to give Edelgard a chance to change, and show proof of it -- and even she has to admit that the former Emperor’s progress is stark, in comparison to their last meeting.

Ashe

Unlike Claude and Hilda, Ashe doesn’t have a reason to hide his identity. He wasn’t part of the final battle at Fhirdiad, having been charged with Nika’s evacuation before the Imperial Army arrived at the Kingdom capital, so there’s no illusion that would be broken by discovering that he’s alive. His goal is to safeguard Nika’s life, and that’s what he intends to do.

Of course, this means that he has absolutely no love whatsoever for Edelgard or Hubert, since he believes (and Claude agrees) that it was the Emperor’s right hand man who’s been sending assassins after the young Blaiddyd. Claude might have a fair-minded perspective when it comes to Edelgard (though he still condemns her actions, make no mistake, he just recognizes that she’s still human and has potentially deeply flawed motivations that drive her), but Ashe still harbors some intense hatred and resentment toward her.

Hilda might be willing to listen to CC!Edelgard (with Claude’s mediation), but Ashe has no interest in hearing what any Edelgard has to say. He’s not openly aggressive with them, but he prefers to avoid them when possible -- and when he has to work with them, he’s terse at best, following orders to the letter so that he can distance himself from them as soon as possible. CC!Edelgard would have to put in a concerted effort just to talk with him, and even then he’d be unimpressed. She murdered his friend, her own step-brother -- something Claude’s secured proof of -- destroyed countless lives in the Kingdom (not to mention the Alliance and Empire), robbed nations of their independence and forced obedience on them...he might have done things he’s not proud of in the past, but he never committed atrocities the way she did.

He wouldn’t condemn her attempts to change. He knows the importance of getting another chance, of making amends and atoning for past crimes -- but at the same time, she took so much from him that he wouldn’t be able to forgive her. The pain she caused him is too deep and too personal, so while he would certainly acknowledge her growth and progress, he wouldn’t forgive her for what she did to him and his.

She would acknowledge that he doesn’t have to forgive her, though. She’s not going to try to win him over or change his mind -- but the apology is still important, because she recognizes the harm she caused him. She’s going to keep striving to better herself whether he accepts her apology or not -- and when she leaves, promising that she’ll let him choose when and if they speak again, Ashe would know that she really means what she says.

Annette

Similar to Ashe, Annette doesn’t have a reason to hide her identity. She wasn’t there for the fall of Fhirdiad, since Dimitri sent her off with Nika to keep him safe; the Empire has no reason to think she’s dead, so her being alive doesn’t need to be a secret. All she’s trying to do is keep Nika safe, and that’s exactly what she intends to do.

Unlike Ashe, though, she doesn’t go out of her way to avoid the Edelgards, and generally only leaves shared spaces with them when she has something to do. She knows how dangerous the Adrestian Emperor can be and generally is, so she prefers to stick closer to her friends in order to help keep them safe, specifically placing herself between Edelgard and her companion. Ashe removing himself from places where Edelgard is present generally ends up removing Annette, too, since she’d much rather stay with him than linger around Imperials.

CC!Edelgard would likely be the first and only one who actually bothers approaching Annette -- and the moment she does, Annette would be on her guard. If she’s with someone, she would try to send them away so they’re not in danger; if she’s alone, she would just be wary but open to at least trying to listen, since Claude has made some good points about Edelgard being human and therefore having very human motivations, however flawed the execution might have been...but at the same time, she’s still nursing raw wounds of her own. Not only is Edelgard responsible for the death of her closest friends, she also saw to the death of her father -- and estranged or not, she wanted to give him a chance and try to rebuild their family. None of that even gets into the fact that she can’t go home because of what Edelgard did to the Kingdom, or the fact that she ordered the murder of a child -- Blaiddyd or not that’s unconscionable to her.

Compared to Ashe’s icy loathing, Annette is much more passionate and emotional when it comes to her rebukes. Nothing Edelgard could ever do will bring back Annette’s family or friends, and after all the harm she caused...Annette can’t forgive her. Even if she understands what this Edelgard is doing, she just can’t bring herself to forgive that hurt.

But Edelgard would certainly understand that, by now. And she would explain that she’s not trying to make Annette forgive her: the apology was necessary as an acknowledgement of her own wrongdoing, and so that Annette could know that she recognizes the pain she caused. She’ll keep moving forward, striving to change and atone and avoid committing the same mistakes again. And that would be what finally cements in her head that Claude was really right about her: she really is a person, someone driven and flawed...but also someone who can change, if she wants to.

Nikita

Nika, unlike the others, has never had a personal encounter with Edelgard at the time he was summoned. He knows of her, primarily through accounts from Claude, Hilda, Ashe, and Annette, but he’s never seen her in person: he would only know to avoid her because the second they see her, Ashe and Annette would point Edelgard out to him and tell him to avoid her at all costs.

He would try, too. Since he would spend a lot of time with his Kingdom guardians, he’d either end up leaving places with Ashe when Edelgard arrives or going elsewhere on Annette’s advice. Hilda would be similarly defensive of him, though she would be confident in her ability to cover for him should Edelgard make a move and therefore wouldn’t encourage him to leave when they cross paths with the Emperor; Claude, meanwhile, would be the only person willing to engage with them, even if they don’t usually approach him.

Which is where CC!Edelgard comes in. After they’ve started interacting on a somewhat routine basis, if she approaches Claude while Nika is with him, Claude would go out of his way to introduce them -- and since he would have discussed Nika before, CC!Edelgard would know exactly who he is.

Nika’s heard a lot about Edelgard over the years. Depending on where it comes from, it can be either scathing or even-handed but still critical. And he would do his best to keep the latter in mind as he agrees to talk with her (with Claude mediating, because Nika would clearly want him there, judging by how he surreptitiously grips Claude’s hand when Edelgard makes the request). He wouldn’t know what to expect from her, really...but the story she tells of her torture and manipulation at the hands of a shadowy force would be unlike anything he could have predicted. There might be no real affection between the two, under the circumstances, but he would certainly be sympathetic to the suffering she endured, even if that doesn’t excuse her actions.

Given who Nika is, and what he intends to do, Edelgard might even try to help ensure his success as best he can: giving him what information she has about Those Who Slither, providing details on the Imperial Army’s structure and workings from her own world before everything went wrong -- anything and everything she can think of to ensure that when he goes back, he’ll be able to make Fodlan a better place than she did in her own world. He would accept it with respect and gratitude and promise to do his all...but he would still feel very strange about interacting with the woman that killed his half-brother. Even if he didn’t know Dimitri well, part of that is because she robbed him of the chance.

Ultimately he would be courteous and respectful, but he wouldn’t go out of his way to interact with her: he wouldn’t shy away from conversation when they happen to cross paths, but otherwise he would leave her to her own devices -- which, generally, would probably suit her, since she probably wouldn’t know what else to say to him. Ultimately, though, Nika would admit that Edelgard isn’t the person that he thought she would be -- which, he supposes, goes to show how much effort she’s put into becoming a different person.

#answered #cheeseandcake #fire emblem: three houses #fire emblem: heroes #crest control #bad end au #this took me quite literally all day #i was trying to keep it reasonable and failed utterly haha #but i think i got the broad strokes down pretty well #i love how everyone has different takes on cc!edelgard and her growth

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guigz1-coldwar · 3 years

Text

"'First' day" : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"'First' day"

Chapter Summary : Yirina is now officialy an MI6 agent working with Park and they both planning their moves for their new mission.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3100

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I couldn't believe it with all my might but today.....I was given a new chance in my life, a new chance to be able to redeem myself further and all of that was thanks to Park herself, the one I'm loving so much right now. Now, I was no longer acting as an simple ex-Perseus agent, helping the CIA & the MI6 in their fight against Perseus like a free-lance mercenary but now, I was Yirina Grigoriev, an MI6 agent specialized in cryptography & on the Special Operations along with Park. I was now an full member of her Majesty's Secret Service......I never thought that would be happening but here were are....the KGB, Perseus and now.....the MI6.

When I left the meeting room, having met in person the two directors of the two british organizations and literally the Prime Minister herself, I was so relieved, so happy, so amazed by the events that I was feeling indebted with the MI6. If they gave me that chance, I have to give my best to not deceive them....to not deceive Park herself. I'm owing my entire life to her and she owes her life to me, it's time for me to do my best.

Once we were out, we returned back to her office where I could sit back on that chair and my body was still chilled by the news I just had in me. While Park was putting her box back in the drawer she found it, I looked outside, observing the view of the city.

"Thank you, Park." I breathed, lost in my thoughts. "Thank you for giving me an chance."

"You know that I had to do it." She affirmed, closing the drawer, looking at me with her left eye. "By giving you an job in the MI6, I'm protecting you from any attempts the CIA can do on you."

"They can try now, I'm waiting." I scoffed about it, putting my arm on the chair armrest.

"I'm pretty sure that Hudson would be so pissed off by hearing that." She exclaimed before she got sit back on her desk chair. "Guy maybe want your head but he know that he will have the whole MI6 against him if he do a thing."

"So, everyone in here knows of my identity ?" I asked as I was looking a bit curious when miss Thatcher said that I had a troubled past.

"Well, for an part." She started, putting her arms on the desk. "It was better than we didn't mention the brainwashing part." She continued, having her eyes trying to look away.

"You had your reasons, I don't want to put an scare to those I will be working on with." I admitted, it's already for me difficult to deal with my past, I don't want to make it harder if everyone is knowing on my brainwashing. "I guess that now, you're my superior ?" I joked.

"Oh, Yiri...." She whispered as we both joined hands together on the desk. "We're on the same level and we're taking our decisions as a group." She looked at me, her eyes moved.

"You're looking so lovely." I said, focused on her eyes.

"And you too, I love your redhead hair...." She confessed, looking at it, even the part with my scar on it.

"My god, if there weren't that ban on people like us here, I would have jumped on you on that desk." I expressed, resisting the urge to really do it actually.

"Mmhm....seems a little bit cliché, darling." She smirked at me as we slowly start to get closer above the desk. "Cliché but sounding very exciting." She added before we share a kiss on the lips, my first as an MI6 agent.

"We are going to do this, aren't we ?" I asked her and she nodded at me after we broke the kiss.

"Pretty sure we're gonna do this." She affirmed before we decide to go back on our respectives seats, now trying to refocus back on the actual situation. "So at first, we need to return back to West-Berlin to get the remaining of our stuff at the safehouse."

"And once we got it, where do we install ourselves ?" I asked and she rolled her eyes, making me think and I know that the place was already chosen by her "We're staying at West-Berlin, right ?" She nodded, biting her lips.

"It will be in a MI6 safehouse that isn't some sort of warehouse with an dorm but more like an house with bedrooms....like in the New Orleans." She replied, reassuring me a little.....even if we had to return in that city. "It's sure that we ain't going to stay permanently there."

"Of course, if Stone do this moves somewhere else, we're moving..." I guessed, making me have hope about our mission. "About the team we will have ?" I questioned her

"I will call them once we're fully set in that new safehouse but we will be only 4." She responded and I was reassured, I don't want to have too many people around me in that safehouse. "It will be mainly 2 of my friends.....including Greta." She showed me the group picture of her desk "The other would be him." She pointed the man with a small beard, looking at the same age of ours.

"What's this name ?"

"Garrett Donovan, I'm sure that you will like him." She replied, winking at me.

"I can say that your friends can become mine, then." I suggested and she was happy to hear that.

"Excuse me ?" It was the voice of a man that knocked at the opened door of her office. By looking at him, he was an member of the MI5. "Miss Grigoriev ?" He asked for me.

"Yes ?"

"We learned that you had some skills in cryptography and we wanted you to have a look at this." He walked next to me to give me an piece of paper that was encrypted as hell.....but it was my code I created in Perseus. "We received this in the morning from our usual mysterious source."

"Do you have a pen and a empty paper ?" I said, causing Park to find me quickly what I needed before I decided to get myself to work on that message.

I took a deep breath at looking at the encrypted message and I launched myself. Thanks to my knowledge on cryptography and to the fact that this system was the one I created, I could be able to decrypt it in no time and during the decryption, I was feeling observed by Park and this man but it wasn't troubling me at all as I was focused on having this message fully readable for someone who don't know anything on cryptography.

"Done." I breathed as I was finally finished with that message, I took only 5 minutes to have it done.

"Wow, that's very fast." The man exclaimed, amazed by the time I took. "What does the message is saying ?" He asked me.

"Apparently, Stone has been seen in an Perseus warehouse.....in West-Berlin." I looked at Park, rolling my eyes at talking about another Perseus warehouse. "The message mentioned exactly what is this warehouse usefulness and where it is." I then looked at the man "Who is this R. ?"

"It's the initial our mysterious source is using." He replied.

"You said that this mysterious person is someone that came often, does this person is sending you willingly these messages ?" I asked him, mentioning what he said earlier, he nodded at me.

"Yes but we don't know why they're doing this." He was looking as someone trying to look in his mind but nothing could help him to clear his mind. "I can't help you with that."

"It's okay, you just gave us a perfect start." I told him with an smile.

"I'm glad to have helped." He then start to walk away before looking at us "Goodbye, ladies." He closed the door behind him, leaving us with Park.

"I'm already loving to work in the MI6." I confessed to her who make a discreet laugh to me.

"Told you !" She affirmed before taking her dial phone in hand, a secured one. "I'm going to ask for our safehouse to be ready." She winked at me. "It's time for your first day within the MI6."

After that, she picked up the phone to call her contact that will set up our safehouse in West-Berlin and honestly, I was quite nervous to return back to this city. I thought that we will just go there to take back the remaining stuff we left there and then, maybe fly back here with an new safehouse but now, with our new piece of intel we got thanks to this MI5 agent, our first mission is of course located in West-Berlin and again, it was an warehouse that we are going to strike, like in my first days one month ago....all over again.

Once Park was done with her call, I helped her packed up some things in a new bag, especially things about Stone and our recents moves against Perseus, and after that, we took our respectives bags and we decided to left Century House in her car to return back to the airport where we could take the same private plane before leaving London behind us to go back to West-Berlin.

During the flight, I wasn't going to take a rest since the travel will not last long, making us arrived in the german city in 2 hours at the middle of the afternoon. Instead, Park took with us some old messages about that mysterious R who started to sent the MI5 encrypted message a year ago in February 1983 and what Park told me about them, each time, it was always correct. This mysterious person inside Perseus group is helping the british secret services for a year now, explaining the success the MI5 & the MI6 had on these operations, explained by Park.

I was wondering of something : my system is still used by Perseus...so is Perseus has been able to train someone to take the lead after my supposed death...or one of my friends has took the lead...it's impossible, all of my friends wanted to flee Perseus, no one would have ever wanted to stay with that guy and it couldn't be Freya at all, she wasn't an expert on it and cryptography need a lot of training.

There weren't anything else for to see except for the message I have decrypted in Park's office, leading us to another Perseus warehouse and finally, we arrived in West-Berlin at 4 PM, landing at the Tempelholf Airport, the one I almost got breathless with Freya and saved Park. We didn't stay any longer in here before getting on our way to the E9 safehouse for the last time in my life, I really hope to be the last time.

"Last time, Yiri....Last time...." I whispered to myself once we were arrived at the safehouse as Park let me drive to get here, after I insisted to do it and she helped me with the direction.

"Woods & Mason must be there." Park exclaimed as we could see the garage door of the safehouse open with an car in front of it backwards, its trunk opened. "Come on, let's get inside." She added, closing the door of her side before we start to walk inside.

"Look who is there." It was Woods standing next to Adler's old desk, having finished to talk to a man before he moved to get to us. "How was London ?" He asked to both of us.

"Pretty good." I replied with an smile, shooking hands with him.

"Where's Mason & Sims ?" Park questioned him as she was looking around inside to find them.

"Mason is already settled in the safehouse we're having in Ukraine as Hudson told us that he had a lead for us." He shook hand with her. "Enough for all of us."

"Uhm....we need to tell you that we're not coming." Park said to him, making him confused at hearing this. "MI6 has given me the order to form a team to track Stone."

"Shit, I almost forgot about that guy." He breathed, thinkful.

"I'm taking Yirina along the way, away from the CIA." She then looked at me with an grin "Show him." I knew what she wanted me to show and I took my credentials in hand, showcasing it to him.

"Say hello to the MI6 agent Yirina Grigoriev !" I scoffed as he looked at me with wide eyes, surprised by that.

"Damnit...." He looked away for an second. "It's an big occasion you got here."

"All thanks to me." Park proclaimed, proud of herself as I was proud of her. "Should avoid Hudson to do something against her or he will have the whole MI6 against him."

"He already have pissed off some CIA guys like me..." He joked, making us laugh about it. "So, how things will happen ?" He questioned Park.

"Well, since your team will be focused on having Adler back and ours to neutralize Stone, we can cross intels with one another if for example, we found something on Adler." She explained to him who nodded. "By the way, do you have anything new on that lead Hudson told you ?"

"Said that the CIA was able to maybe track down an agent that was there in that mall, couldn't tell more." He replied, not sure of Hudson infos about it. "Guess you're staying here at West-Berlin ?" We nodded to him slowly. "At least, it's not here you're staying, we're abandoning the place once you got your things back."

"Yes and anyway, I hate that place....bring too many bad memories." I whispered before I looked over his shoulder to see Sims, sit at his old desk, not looking happy and Woods saw me.

"Sims is still mad over yesterday." Woods exclaimed to us, taking a quick glare on him. "Better to leave him quietly for the moment."

"Okay, we will get our things and we will be out of here." Park said before she start to walk to her old desk with me.

We started to take a look for the last time around the safehouse before we worked on getting Park's belongings in some boxes and put it into our car. In fact, we came only for her own belongings as I didn't have one when I came back here, it was her who gave me everything. During the multiples travel we had to do between her desk, the dorm for her clothes and the car, I was thinking about a lot of things that happened here...mostly bad things on me and the only good things I had was with Park & Lazar.

"Finished." I was putting the last box inside the car after spending more than 30 minutes to have everything in it, she did have a lot of things in her possession.

"I'm gonna talk about some details with Woods, you can stay in the car or take a last look inside if you want." Park exclaimed before she walked back inside to get to Woods as I closed the car trunk.

I didn't know what to do apart from staying near the car to do nothing so I decided to go back inside, the place was looking more empty now : the dashboard was no longer there anymore, the Dark Room was closed down and all the desk hads nothing on them. As Park was discussing with Woods, I could see Sims, still alone at his desk and even Woods told us to not talk to him, I decided to get to him.

"Sims ?" I said in a low voice, getting next to him, seeing him holding an old picture of him & Adler.

"I heard that you got promoted into the MI6, congratulations." He told me in a passive voice, not sounding happy I can say.

"Listen, I'm...."

"You what ?" He started, cutting me straight "You're sorry ?" He added, looking at me with an raised eyebrow

"Yes." I whispered suddenly ashamed to have maybe put him into that state.

"I can't believe that you let that agent go away and allowing Stitch to get his hands on Adler." He complained, the story about me letting Freya free was inadvertently told by Bulldozer after we came back at Fort Dix and now everyone was aware of it.

"Hey, it's not my fault that Adler has gone berseck against him." I spoke up, almost raising my voice but keeping it down, not wanting to get angry for real. "He should have evaluate the risk of it."

"And ?" He looked at me, almost angry.

"And what ? What do I need to tell you more, Sims ?" I asked him, confused. "Adler nearly got everyone killed."

"Maybe...." He pronounced, sounding like if Adler's life was suddenly more important "You could have save him but you didn't do a thing." He removed his eyes off me back to that picture he was holding in his hands. "You preferred instead to have a talk about your 'old best friend'." He said, mimicking like Bulldozer.

"She was not my old best friend...." I took a deep breath. "She was my old fiancee." At hearing this, he looked at me slowly, almost troubled at this but still keeping his anger towards me.

"Even with that, that doesn't change a thing : Adler is in Perseus hand." He affirmed at my face.

"Listen, we will save him, Sims." I admitted, not even believing that I was going to say that.

"Pfff...." He muttered "We both know that you don't give an fuck about Adler and what happened yesterday was a proof of it."

"For an part, you're right !" I raised my voice, finally getting my thoughts out. "I don't give an fuck about Adler like he did the same for me." I pointed to myself. "He treated me like shit and you did nothing to counter him." I sniffed as Sims nearly stand up from his chair to face me. "I'm doing the big part of the work but what I got is 'you could do better' or 'is this it ?' as a reward."

"Yirina." I could hear Park voice coming behind me, calling me out.

"You need to know that I'm not happy to have to go save Adler's ass but we have no choice so act like everyone will did : save your friend like I'm trying to do with my own !" I confessed to him before I looked around, holding back my tears as I didn't want to get angry with Sims, to look at Park.

"I'm finished with Woods, we can go now." She affirmed, gesturing at me to follow her outside.

"I'm coming." I told her before I gave a last look to Sims. "I'm trying to save my own life aswell as Adler's one, think about it." I finished with him, looking away from him as I got next to Park, holding my anger inside of me as I don't want to be angered now...

"Let's get out of here, this place is making me sick !"

#black ops cold war #bocw #call of duty cold war #cod cw #cod black ops cold war #cod cold war #fanfic #fem!bell #yirina grigoriev #helen park

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