#i love you bisexual women who feel ostracized

[genericpuff]

(disclaimer, this is coming from a heartstopper fan! i love heartstopper this is not hate!!)

i think at least part of the annoyance with heartstopper isn't just that isn't a light fluffy ya series, it's also that its another example of how the queer media that gets the most mainstream attention tends to be this kind of light fluffy ya stuff that focuses on two conventially attractive queer boys or men and it also tends to be written by people who aren't queer men on top of that, so not only can it feel very samey but it can feel like other queer people are relegated to side characters in the stories of cis gay men. and as someone who loves heartstopper i get that on some level.

btw by "written by people who aren't queer men" NOT saying that isn't not written by queer people. alice oseman is genderfluid and aroace, becky albertalli is bisexual, etc. and while i think the point is still valid there is a misogyny element in that a lot of the focus is put on things that are written by women or people they perceive as women while tumblr darlings like good omens and ofmd (written by presumably straight men) don't get the same treatment.

nah y'know what, that's fair, I can get how frustrating it can be for a lot of popular queer stories to feel samey, I've definitely gotten BL-fatigue in the past on platforms like WT and Tapas because many of them ARE the same and feel like they're just piggybacking off trends for the sake of clout (and this is a problem in the heterocis romance stories too, don't get me fucking started on how dark romance has turned into torture porn where vulnerable women are constantly being victimized by rich powerful men and we're just supposed to root for that ??), but it's one of those things where like, what might be seen as just more corny shit could very well be the revelation another person needs that they're gay / trans / etc. that the story helped them realize. there's just a point where i see these arguments against cheesy popular queer stories that teeter dangerously close to being queerphobic and, as you said, misogynist, simply because "it was written by someone who i perceive as a woman so that makes it BAD!"

and I didn't mention it in the original post because I didn't want to @ OP in any way but in the comment section they literally said "i dont think heartstopper itself is all that bad but it has pretty much aimed the direction of all mainstream gay comics towards wholesomeness instead of anything more interesting so i want to destroy heartstopper to destroy heartstopper clones" and that gives me massive ick because it implies their sole reasoning for including it was "chill and happy queer stories bad, if a character doesn't suffer enough then they're not interesting"?? why can't LGBTQ+ audiences have more 'vanilla' stories that aren't all sad and angsty all the time? are we not entitled to the same corny romcom vanilla shit that the heterocis are entitled to? why do LGBTQ+ characters - and by extension, people - have to suffer to qualify as being 'interesting'? You're already interesting, you're you! like i'm sorry, are we trying to scare people straight??? 😭 shit, that's even a plot point that's touched on in Heartstopper itself where Nick is questioning his sexuality and he starts googling shit and it's just ALL the terrifying news stories of queer kids being ostracized / bullied / murdered / etc. and as much as it's important to be aware of the ongoing issues so we can keep fighting for our rights, we ALSO need to find balance and remember to celebrate the stories that AREN'T that because we need something to be hopeful for, something we can find peace in. I don't think Heartstopper is some deeply profound piece of work, but it also doesn't seem like it's trying to be? It's a low stakes celebration of the LGBTQ+ experience that's very warm and comforting, especially for those who are the same ages as the main characters who are often being persuaded by the grown-ups around them that it's a death sentence to be gay / trans / etc.

and it's not like we HAVEN'T had popular pieces of queer representative media that explored things outside of cheesy BL, like are we forgetting about Nimona which explored both the gay and genderfluid experience in a very accessible and fun way while still being mature and not pandering to its audience over how society has made monsters out of queer people?

(and even then I'm sure there are folks who would argue "actually, here are the issues with Nimona" , and that's fine tbh, we can like media and appreciate what it brings to the table while also discussing what it lacks in, such as what we're doing now with Heartstopper! progress is a never-ending journey!!)

and also okay, not me trying to be argumentative in the slightest BUT I don't really get the argument that 'other queer people' are being sidelined for the main characters? unless there's something I'm missing here lol (I will apologize for that because it's admittedly been a while since I've re-read Heartstopper so I should probably go do that to refresh myself on it). like i say that in the sense that Heartstopper is clearly meant to be about two gay male teenagers. just like how Nimona is about a shapeshifter who is not a girl or a boy (they're Nimona!) and a gay man who are both trying to change the system that's other'd them for years for the better. that is the story Heartstopper is trying to tell and it achieves that. it also has a trans character plotline that I could see people arguing feels sidelined but I think there's a massive difference between 'sidelining' and just having a B plot ? my honest take with that is not every piece of representative media is going to be able to cover every single topic, it's just not doable for one piece of media to be a monolith for everything, the same as how one person can't be a monolith for an entire community of people. BUT that doesn't mean works like Heartstopper and Nimona can't inspire others to also lend their voices into the medium and create that representation that's needed. That's why we need ✨variety✨ and Heartstopper is part of that variety by offering a more vanilla cutesy story full of good vibes for people who want that sort of thing.

IDK, I think there's just a lot of nuance that's being missed in that poll, and in the difference between Heartstopper inspiring more people to write happy cozy BL stories vs. implying that it's had an actual negative influence on modern art and media in the same way that series like Homestuck and LO have to the point that people think it needs to be destroyed, like wtf LOL Like they're not even comparable IMO and a lot of the arguments I see people making about why it is just feel a little backwards, and those arguments obfuscate the real issue which is just "popular thing is popular and people like to piggyback off popular shit". That's a fact for basically any niche and genre, these trends come and go. Even if the whole cutesy BL trend passes one day (which it will) it'll be replaced by something else that people will also inevitably find samey and boring after a while. This is not a concept that's unique to LGBTQ+ media, it's universal.

Balance is important and I think finding that balance is as much a responsibility on the shoulders of the consumer as it is on the creator. And I don't think Heartstopper deserves to be put into the same camp as stories like LO which literally straightwashes its canonically queer characters and gives those queer identities to nothingburger characters who are easy to shoo out of the plot to make way for the heterocis ones (while still parading itself around like it's actually 'queer rep' which... it really isn't.) Like all three of the comics in that poll are vastly different, serving different audiences, with different goals and intentions. It's comparing apples to oranges to pineapples.

The worst Heartstopper has to offer is just a low stakes plot that might not appeal to everyone or feel 'samey' which yeah, valid, but in the grander sense of whether or not it's had a negative effect on queer media just for being... cheesy? And inspiring other people to write stories like it? I don't get the argument, it feels like it's severely missing the point of what we're fighting for here - to live happy little unbothered lives - but that's just me ╮(￣ω￣;)╭ I'm definitely not trying to be a dick about it in any way and I don't want anyone to think I'm not open to the opposing points here, I do agree with you on the oversaturation of samey BL stories, but it just rose some massive red flags to see Heartstopper next to frigging Homestuck and Lore Olympus LOL

[neonscandal]

Okay, if you were asked who are in JJK & BNHA that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they?

For me satoaugu and bakudeku are definitely not straight (yes, I ship them but I don't think they "must be into women only" like a post I just saw). Also, kaminari, jirou, toga, nobara, megumi, kenjaku....

Ah yes, a person with discerning tastes. ✨ While this feels like a sure fire way to get me into some hot water, let's dive right in.

✨🌈 Happy pride to the queer people in my phone 🌈✨

But especially these

Megumi "Only Interested in Compassion" Fushiguro - pansexual (very much choosing to overlook very subtle implications of siscon as a red herring to, of course, further contextualize ItaFushi). See also Gojo and the uncharacteristic Miwa agenda.

Satoru Gojo - Let's be so for real. Man is down astronomical for Suguru but I think there's still evidence/reason to believe he could be ace or demisexual. Can strength be conflated with love?

Kinji Hakari - waving the white flag on this one considering I'm 4 weeks behind and I don't know if there's been further clarification that might swing this verdict one way or another but support Hikari's love regardless of Kirara's gender expression/identity. Also, given current events, it'd be pretty weird if Gege slipped that in out of nowhere.

Kenjaku - 🗣️ IF GIVEN ENOUGH TIME, DO WE NOT ALL BECOME A LIL GAY!? I understand straight people probably don't have such realizations so I'm just going to sit with that reflection.

Nobara Kugisaki - be so for real. I think she had a misplaced crush in her idolization of Saori that made more sense when she left the bumble fuck countryside and could live her best life, out and proud with her muscle mommy girlfriend, Maki. Also explains, a bit, why Saori was ostracized where Nobara may have lacked understanding/context.

Maki - Plenty of gay icons without last names, queen. This one just happens to also be gay.

Eijirou Kirishima is almost so straight that he unintentionally makes a hard U-turn into flirting with queerness. His phrasing is baffling as he tends to pop up in those threads frequently with assumingly unintended innuendos but it is also reminiscent about how no one third wheels harder than a dude's girlfriend when he's with his best friend? I don't know if that makes sense but I'm throwing him in the mix as someone who maybe just needs some time ✨ regardless of the BakuDeku to KiriMina parallels.

Denki Kaminari - This kid has eyes and he uses them, gender be damned. A bi-disaster if I've ever seen one.

Minoru Mineta - IDK if his Deku confession was a translation faux pas or if Mineta, too, has fallen for the male lead's quintessential charm that wins over hearts and minds. While the Council on Bisexuality would fight me on this one... his membership is still pending.

Izuku Midoriya - I have it on good authority that Izuku is Bakusexual. Flustered by girls in the same way that any awkward and bullied kid might when encountering the opposite sex but his heart has always had its allegiance to one person. Whether that makes him gay, demi or even bi, I think it tracks.

Katsuki Bakugo - bi, pan or gay, the consensus is he is Not Straight.

Kyoka Jiro - in Smash, Jiro is a total fujoshi (she just like us fr). If you'll allow submitting MHA Smash into evidence, coupled with the canon main story, I say bi. A girl who knows Momo is stacked but also reasonably wants the attention and company of a Class 1A boy as a girl would at that age.

Himiko Toga - one thing about Toga. She is going to know and live her truth. Confidently bi ✨

Ochaco Uraraka - SPEAKING OF LIVING TRUTHS. She a little late but she has the right spirit.

Bonus, if including Kirishima didn't some how get me booed, I was going to add Yuta Okkotsu too but I thought better of it. 👉🏾👈🏾

[pillarsalt]

Any advice for women questioning if they might be bi?

This is an interesting question that I'm not quite sure how to answer. I thought I might tell you what my own experience in figuring out my sexuality was like, but I might have a bit of a weird story since understanding my attraction to men was actually more difficult than my attraction to women. This is stupid long and a bit navel gazey (walking down memory lane since I'm currently staying at my mom's place in my hometown). If you want to skip to the TLDR section at the bottom, I put the advice that came to me while writing this there. I hope it helps a bit, but if not, maybe others might want to add their own advice for anon in the replies?

I grew up in a smaller Alberta city that leaned conservative, but I was lucky enough to have open-minded and accepting parents who were pro gay rights. I went to catholic school (for french immersion lol), and before I even had the awareness that same sex attracted people existed, my elementary school friend group ostracized me, they said they thought I was a lesbian because I liked dinosaurs and roughhousing too much.

I was very confused until I was about 12 and learned that women could indeed be attracted to and have relationships with other women; that's when the understanding hit that there was a reason I felt differently about certain girls than I did about my other girl friends. Why I loved to sit next to them and stare at each individual feature of their faces when they talked, why I treasured the chihuahua webkinz Cristina from the bus gave me for christmas so much (I bought her a pack of lip smacker lip balm, this is so nostalgic lol), why I often gave Julia from my soccer team a playful shove if only to touch her for just a second. Now I knew what I was feeling. The problem was, aren't girls supposed to like boys? My peers would talk about how hot this one was and how they wanted that one's number; I just didn't get it. Boys were all just kind of weird and gross and scary to me.

In the next couple years I read more about lesbian gay and bisexual history and culture, learned that it wasn't wrong for me to love women but that many people wouldn't accept that. In high school (catholic high school!), if people asked, I answered truthfully, and it didn't make me popular. This is basically the reason I absolutely hate the word Queer; I had that word spat at the back of my head in the hallways by the grease ape hockey players who joked about "drinking beers and hitting queers". I had my share of crushes but didn't dare act on them. It frankly sucked, but I still made some friends.

(Funny tangent here: I had made a couple of new friends who were kind of in the 'cool bad girls' clique but didn't know my reputation. At lunch one day they stole my phone and as a prank they texted my mom "I have something to tell you... I like women" and she answered "you already told me that??" LMAOOO my mom felt so bad but like I told her, how was she supposed to know? anyway those girls didn't hang out with me much after that.)

Later on, I tried harder to fit in at school. I wore a lot of makeup and had a boyfriend for a couple months, which only confused me further. He asked me out and he was considered desirable and he was nice and didn't make fun of me, so I said yes. I used to set an alarm on my phone when I was at his place and pretended my mom was calling me and I had to leave. That scene at the start of But I'm a Cheerleader where Megan is just sitting there letting her boyfriend make out with her while she waits for it to be over, it really resonated with me when I watched it the first time lol. When he started hinting he wanted to have sex and put my hand on his boner through his pants, I couldn't take it anymore and ended it. I began to think I just wasn't into men at all. I kind of ignored them after that.

After a tumultuous almost-relationship with another girl who got then scared into claiming she was straight again by the homophobia at school and her religious mother (and then we weren't allowed to be each other's grad partners even as platonic friends), I had my first girlfriend after I graduated high school (we're still friends although she's fully into the theythem sphere now). She moved to another province and I discovered I'm not the type of person who can handle long distance relationships, so that was the end of that.

Finally in college, where people usually have their same-sex experimentation phase, I instead discovered that I am indeed attracted to men, I guess it just took me a while to find the ones who did it for me. A coworker turned close friend turned FWB turned long-term boyfriend confirmed that for sure. It was a whirlwind of self discovery but I was glad to have finally figured out what I was questioning for so long. So at the age of 19, I became as sure as I am now that I am not gay, not straight, but bisexual. I don't know if the kinsey scale thing is bullshit or not but I'd say I sit at about a 4. Things sort of fell into place for me eventually, which I think was lucky for me and I'm grateful for it.

TLDR SECTION:

I knew I was attracted to women from my early teens on, didn't figure out if I liked men until college years.

So if you're still with me, that's why I don't exactly know what advice to give you. Honestly, I wrote all of that mostly hoping you might find something relatable in there to build off of. Basically, are you romantically attracted to women, do you want to hold her hands, kiss her deeply, spend all your time with her, be filled with joy when you hear the beautiful sound of her voice, hold her closely until you fall asleep together? and Are you sexually attracted to women, is there a longing in you when you think about touching her body, her breasts, her stomach, her lips, her thighs, her vulva, the sensation of her touching you too? If it's yes to all of the above... yeah you're probably attracted to women.

But if it's yes to only one subset or another, here's the thing: I've seen a ton of straight people online and in my personal life claim they're bi because they're able to tell which individuals of their own sex are conventionally attractive or not. I posted a while ago about my straight male coworker who said "I think the guitarist in my favourite band is hot so I guess I might be queer?" and my other coworkers who immediately jumped in like YES YOU'RE QUEER YOU'RE SO QUEER leaving me like... okay but would you kiss him? Have sex with him? Fall in love with him? Again that's not necessarily your case, just that the lines have been seriously blurred when it comes to sexuality, between this sort of "everyone can be queer" thing and also the ubiquity and oversaturation of porn. Porn warps the shit out of all your mental processes but especially arousal and romantic and sexual bonding. This is how we get those women who talk about how they would fuck women but never have a romantic relationship with her. Porn culture warps their minds into viewing other women as objects from which to derive sexual pleasure, even if their natural orientation is heterosexual.

I guess my number one advice is that if you want to try romance and intimacy with a woman, MAKE SURE you are upfront with the fact that you're questioning your sexuality. There's no shame in questioning, of course. But another user and I were just talking about the large number of curious straight women who go on dating apps and waste the time and crush the spirits of gay and bi women who are just looking for love, not looking to be a litmus test or an experiment. I'm sure there are women out there who would be happy to explore your attraction with you, but also be on the lookout for people looking to take advantage of you and ABSOLUTELY run the other way if it's a het couple looking for a third, holy fuck don't even give those crusties the time of day.

Another piece of advice for you is that no two women are the same. Being attracted to women doesn't mean you'll be attracted to EVERY woman. This is why I'm wary of the types who say "I'm attracted to all women and only some specific men" like that sounds fake as fuck. Bi and gay woman have types and preferences just like straight women do.

All you can really do is keep thinking on it, keep exploring your feelings. It could help to talk it out with other lesbian or bisexual women in your life if you're lucky enough to have them. I wish you the very best but don't stress too much over it either. There's no rush, take your time, be well.

[henrysglock]

Honestly these anons seem like chronically online Gen Z queer people to me. I say this as a Gen Z queer person who is ALSO very online, just THAT online. Bigotry, biphobia, etc. obviously exist, but when their core argument is essentially that a tumblr blogger saying a character is gay = biphobia, and not only that, but is somehow "one of the most wildly bigoted things" they've ever heard, that's... wow.

Tell me your entire sense of identity is shaped by TikTok discourse, Twitter battles, and fictional ships without telling me. Tell me you don't experience rl bigotry without telling me. I'm GLAD this is the post HS-world and things are better for lots of LGBTQ+ teens, but it also often just creates whatever... this is. It reminds me of this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/15nabrt/how_do_you_add_this_clouds_background/

It also seems like they expect ST to follow modern 2024 zoomer ideals instead of being a show set in an 80s context with specific narrative intentions. They wanna make the show into their own image instead of actually looking at the show and accepting what it says.

How are they not exhausted? Also, why do they care if you believe Henry is gay? No one's stopping them from believing otherwise.

Ate and left no crumbs.

Also, why do they care if you believe Henry is gay? No one's stopping them from believing otherwise.

Half of them seem to think that me saying Henry is gay takes away from Patty and her narrative importance, and that I'm doing so because I'm racist and misogynistic/I hate black women/etc.

What they don't seem to realize is that my actual point is: Patty is so much more than her relationship to Henry, and that her relationship to him is far more complex than "boy loves girl", just like Henry's relationship to Patty is more complex than "boy loves girl".

It's a whole thing that like...I don't think they understand that in their arguments against Henry as a gay man, they're tokenizing Patty as a black woman and she's the token "interracial rep" to them, just like Henry would be the token "bi rep" to them. Or if they do understand all that, they're being intentionally obtuse about it.

By using her relationship with Henry as a talking point they're reducing her down to her relationship with the white boy. In doing that, they argue in favor of Patty being nothing more than Henry's girlfriend/"I can fix him" therapist-y role. I'm not sure they realize exactly how destructive a narrative like that is, especially for a woman of color in relation to a white man. In reducing Patty to Henry's girlfriend, they're also erasing Patty's own queer coding, specifically her lesbian coding, as well as her struggle to use her "normal" relationship with Henry to find a place where she fits in/is accepted and where she can also gain autonomy from her controlling white father in a racist, heteronormative, patriarchal society that wants her to be as white-assimilated, "normal", and wife-ly as possible. She's seeking safety, rebellion, and emotional connection in a boy who "matches her freak", so to speak.

Henry, as a sweet, lonely, nerdy, gay white boy, is a golden goose. Patty, as a pretty, nerdy, ostracized weirdogirl, is Henry's golden goose. Supernatural aspects aside, they're each other's life rafts in a society that would condemn the "real" them.

But sure! Let's ignore all that for "he was a boy, she was a girl...Can I make it any more obvious?"

On top of that: I would still feel the same way about hentty and gay Henry if Patty was a white girl, which is evident in my feelings on Mike, El, and miIeven.

The other half re: bisexuality...well. We've been over that.

[aces-to-apples]

Tell us your thoughts on Oghren 👀

He’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, he's my rotten soldier, he's my sweet cheese, he's my good time boy. He's my comrade-in-arms who thanks me for reminding him what honor is and vows to be the warrior I taught him to be (I am a rogue). He's my sad-sack uncle who drinks to cope with being socially pressured into becoming a Berserker, reliant upon blinding rage in battle, and then being ostracized and practically stripped of his caste for accidentally killing an opponent in a Proving when he has literally no way to put the brakes on the killing rage he was made to cultivate. He makes misogynistic comments because that's how he was taught to treat women but he still speaks fondly of Branka—who despised him, cheated on him, and then left him in Orzammar while stealing the rest of their House and killing them in the Deep Roads—and respects her lover Hespith, his own lover Felsi, Wynne, Morrigan, Sigrun, Velanna, and a female Warden. He makes homophobic comments but holds nothing against queer people and is open to non-traditional sex acts if his partner is interested in them. He's bisexual and has no fucking idea. He thanks the Warden for being his friend and treating him with respect even though he feels he doesn't deserve it and is used to being casually degraded and disrespected by his own people. He dropped his baby twice (I dropped both my nieces more than that lol) and fled his family to become a Grey Warden because he was terrified of genuinely hurting his child with his inexperience and ineptitude and is deeply insecure about it. He drunkenly asks the Warden for a pony because Branka used to collect figurines and he still loves her in some way. He considers insulting banter a form of bonding, both with friends and lovers, and also blushes and stutters and is pleased when the Warden is openly friendly and complimentary. He's doing his best with the shitty tools he's been given, and knows that he needs to improve, but he doesn't know how to do that himself. He genuinely loves drinking and booze of all kinds as a hobby and is so fucking pleased when Wynne takes his offer of taste-testing his brew seriously and professionally breaks down its composition and flavors. He respects Tranquil mages when even other mages don't because he may not understand what Tranquility means but he damn well knows that they're people. When boisterous and over-the-top when you first give him specialized gifts and then when you're actual friends he switches to being genuinely touched and grateful. He wants to drive a war-chariot pulled by mabari and tries multiple times to convince Dog that it's a good idea. He hates the Fade, and dreaming, and the first time he's in the Fade he politely asks you if it's okay if he throws up, and the second time he panickedly asks you why you keep bringing him there and is best calmed down when you promise that he's allowed to kill stuff as a grounding technique. He's ride-or-die, genuinely and without hesitation. He loves you. And I'm like the only person who genuinely loves him back.

[mxrtified777]

I have a few questions about Cain Orcinus. Who I love btw.

What orca population would you say he's from? And is his mother and siblings aware and proud of his profession/obsession?

Is he gay?

And finally, what would happen if Cain and Nevin met?

Thank you for the questions! 1) Cain isn't really an actual orca; he's more of an Evo, a type of creature from Generator Rex. Basically he has weird genes that caused him to mutate and although he does have a (mostly) human conscious and body, he's still somewhat ostracized by humans due to his. well. Evo nature. His orca traits definitely shine through in his personality though, such as his intelligence and his social nature. 2) Cain is bisexual with a preference for women! 3) It depends on how long they spend meeting. If Cain found out that Nevin wasn't exactly human, he would most definitely become fascinated with him and potentially obsessed with the idea of eating him. I haven't talked a lot about Cain's backstory even though I have it all written down, so some of this is most definitely confusing but. feel free to ask me more things about him :3

[sneezemonster15]

It's also annoying when someone makes a post on how it's sad people are so heteronormative they don't see Naruto and Sasuke's love and then some Sakura stan comes out of the woods to the reply section and goes "umm acshuallyy I'm a bisexual woman and I don't ship them! Just because I ship sasusaku/narusaku (sometimes just one or both) doesn't mean I'm homophobe!" like okay thank you for your contribution. So you are a bisexual woman with a bad taste. Not sure why we needed to know this but ok.

Lol. Don't take those ones so seriously anon because it is known that fans would say anything to justify their crappy taste. A lot of these so called homosexual or bisexual people aren't really that. They are straight but pretend to be otherwise just to prove a silly point. Cuz it's the internet, we can say anything and get away with it, no? Who's gonna check?

Like no, I refuse to believe that someone who has experienced ostracization or ridicule from society or their peer groups for being of a non heteronormative sexuality would ship someone like Sasuke or Naruto with someone so bland, stereotypical and prejudiced as Sakura whose understanding of a person is surface level and skin deep af. Who discriminates against people just because they are different from the norm. Such as Lee or Naruto. Like no. Someone who is so insensitive so as to mock an orphan in front of another orphan and who compares an orphan's misfortunes with her own very shallow ones is someone who lives life with a very limited understanding of the world. Someone who lives a privileged life, someone who takes her quality of life for granted. Someone who likes and rates people on the basis of their looks and popularity.

People who feel different from the norm or are made to feel abnormal because they don't conform to the social norms are naturally sensitive to others' misfortunes or tragedies or struggles. They are much more sensitive towards external stimuli because what heterosexual people can easily take for granted, they can't. Heterosexuality is so normalised to the exclusion of everything else, the entire world caters to them. It's like gay or bi people, or those different from the norm, are outliers living in their world. It becomes second nature for such a person to think about everything, examine and second guess every gesture and expression, to be able to find a single moment of understanding, without being judged. It's a daily battle. Especially in a heteronormative society. They are able to empathize with the less fortunate because they are able to see what others don't.

Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, Haku, they are different from the norm. They have had their share of great suffering. This is exactly why Sasuke resonates with Naruto, Naruto resonates with Gaara and Neji and Nagato and Haku. Kishi writes his characters with a lot of thought and he has a good grasp on psychology and perception. Any good storyteller does.

Like this person, a Hinata stan, told me she was gay but shipped SS and NH. Turns out it was a HE and a Minor and extremely abusive towards SNS, who thought SNS were dirty fujoshis who deserved to die for shipping brothers. Lol.

Like you can't be sensitive and intelligent and ship something like SS, NrSk and NH. All these ships are a crime against humanity. And anyone who is sensitive and empathetic would find it extremely difficult to like these women, much less ship these last moment shallow ass ships that are based on insensitivity and lack of understanding or empathy.

[lesbianlenas]

maybe anon meant that it’s biphobic to call it your biggest nightmare to be with a man when many women love dating men. have you ever considered that some women like men and that your strong dislike of men romantically could be hurting those women’s feelings? they already feel shame and ostracized enough for their attraction to men and you calling it a nightmare isn’t making those women who love men feel safe or welcome. every lesbian has a duty to normalize women liking men in order to end harm to bisexuals and end the stigma

LMFAOOOOOO. dw i know u r joking i can tell. but ur so right hashtag normalize women loving men. hashtag normalize heterosexuality. hashtag end man hating lesbians forever.

[waheelawhisperer]

Since I have OCs of my own, I'm curious, how do you go about making yours?

Oh God there are so many ways

Sometimes a stupid idea pops into my head and won't go away until I turn it into a story or character (FUCKING @norondor put Rhine Labs Arthurian Yuri into my brain and now I want to write about hot babe knights and beautiful courtly ladies kissing in secluded castle gardens, for example). This is how I got Greedy, a powerful and ancient dragon who is obsessed with VTubers.

Sometimes I just want to have adventures in the media I consume and come up with a character that lets me do that. In these instances, I typically start by making them someone I'd want to be (skills, personality, physical features, etc) and then decide to give them flaws so that they feel like people instead of strict wish fulfillment. Blatant self-indulgence is nice, but I would typically rather my characters have enough complexity to feel real. Feilan came about when I decided to just make an OC to project on instead of using poor Jaune for the purpose.

Sometimes I have an idea for a story, whether that be in terms of plot, setting, themes, and need characters to bring that to life. For Agara's story, which I still need a title for beyond "Hot Demon Lady Causes Problems On Purpose", I needed Calvin's life to be shitty enough that he'd be socially ostracized and more open to her manipulations, so I created a classist bully to make him miserable. In a lot of ways, this story is about how vulnerable, isolated young men can be groomed and radicalized and how dangerous that pipeline can be, wrapped up in a fantasy setting, so when I created Calvin, I made him the type of person who would be very susceptible to that kind of manipulation - low social status, unpopular with his peers, not particularly conventionally attractive or charismatic, lacking a useful support system, and desperate to change all that. I am not ashamed to admit that I drew on my own experiences here.

Other times I just have a cool idea for a character design that needs a story to go with it, which is how one of the characters of my high fantasy WIP came into being - I thought he was interesting and crafted a world around him.

Sometimes (a lot of the time), I am inspired by other media (fucking Arknights God damn it it keeps giving me brainworms) and create characters based on that. I saw a lovely art piece depicting Texas Arknights permanently removing Mostima from Exusiai's life in a fashion very in sync with her mafia roots and built a setting, plot, and group of characters from it (including a woman who is The Worst Bisexual Representation Ever but I'm pretty sure would also make tumblr sapphics feral on main).

Sometimes I am just horny and create Women I Think Are Hot.

In terms of the actual character creation process, I first identify what caused me to create the character (and thus what's already in place) and then go from there. Sometimes the design/role is already there and the template is already partially filled, but if I'm making a character from scratch, I start by figuring out what their purpose in the narrative is. With Feilan, I knew that the goal was at least in part to let me live out self-indulgent fantasies and have adventures in a world I found interesting (later on, he became my chew toy. This bad boy can fit so much trauma and comedic suffering in him), so I designed a character with physical features I had or wanted to have at the time: tall, built like a linebacker, attractive (but not too attractive. I wanted him to be good-looking, but not so hot women swoon when he walks in a room), deep voice, smart, compassionate, good at adapting on the fly, etc - and I will leave it up to you guys to figure out which traits I have and which ones I want. Then I figured out how I wanted him to dress. I was big into Jojo's Bizarre Adventure at the time and Jotaro's hat/coat combo has infected my brain ever since I first saw it, so I gave Feilan a cool hat and a long black coat. Since he was built on the Jaune self-insert template, I armed him with a sword and shield so I didn't have to modify too much.

Then it was time to figure out, more or less, what I wanted the plot to look like and what traits Feilan needed to have to make that happen. I kind of folded this together with the "give him flaws" stage because I needed those flaws to prevent a quick (and distinctly unsatisfying) resolution in either direction, so I made him good at thinking on his feet and outmaneuvering people (often half by accident or because they overestimate him) and able to plan effectively, but I also made him a bit of a hypocrite, prone to lashing out, self-centered, and afraid of facing the consequences of his own mistakes and then packed him full of some wonderful self-loathing.

The next step was deciding what themes I wanted to delve into. I knew the plot (roughly) of the first Feilan story and what it offered in terms of thematic exploration, so I decided to investigate masculinity, specifically through the lense of male isolation, male insecurity, male physical and emotional vulnerability, and male physical/emotional/sexual abuse. I realized this gave me a great vehicle to discuss masculinity in general, particularly toxic masculinity and what it means to be a man, so I gave Feilan daddy issues by creating Sten-Bjorn Varg (how do I do the symbol on top of the o on my phone someone help me), a Tough Manly Viking Man who has no idea what to do with a son that is very much not a Tough Manly Viking Man and picks a terrible strategy for dealing with that conundrum. I gave Feilan a set of beliefs about how a man Should Be (strong, stoic, doesn't need to ask for help) and started challenging those beliefs and breaking them down over the course of the story.

Then I considered the relationships I wanted him to have with others. I knew I wanted him to be close with Team RWBY, so I needed reasons they'd want to be around him. Being good-looking and not a dickbag is a good start, but if I wanted a real bond, I had to give him a little extra. I made him very laid-back and friendly and a good listener (and willing to cover for/go along with their shenanigans) so they'd be comfortable opening up to him and made him good at book learning so he could help Ruby with her schoolwork and otherwise serve as a mentor figure (and all this gave me the opportunity for delicious angst that fed into his self-esteem/self-loathing issues because every relationship he has is built on the lie that he deserves to be at Beacon).

Then it was time to just come up with the little things that made him feel like a person but weren't specifically plot-relevant. He has a sweet tooth and likes hot chocolate, he enjoys reading and playing video games but isn't a huge fan of watching TV, he's not particularly artistic, he enjoys exercise but not really fighting (outside of a spar. He doesn't get a thrill from it like Yang does) or the brutal training most of his mentors put him through, he doesn't really understand how to dress formally (or dress himself to best advantage in general), he's not very good at flirting or handling being flirted with, etc.

Meanwhile Bluebonnet came about because I thought the world needed more tall blonde big titty bisexual cowgirls with thick Texas accents and I was so right for that. I've been haphazardly slapping bits of characterization onto her like a clay figurine ever since. I started with her appearance, then moved to her personality and fighting style, and built a backstory from there.

Tl;dr there are a ton of ways I make an OC.

[redheadbigshoes]

I do disagree with you slightly though I respect your thoughts & opinion, from an outsider perspective of someone who is another lesbian thus has no attraction to men nor the experience of a bisexual woman, my general thoughts around this is that I know that its generally more likely bi people will fall into relationships with the opposite gender for whatever reasons, and I do believe the online sapphic community might become a safe space of expression in a like-minded community for those people who either find out they're into women when in relationships with men or married to men, or they just might be sapphic in general and have fallen for a dude because preference doesn't always dictate who/when you fall in love. I definitely agree that it can be taken too far and be shitty in regards to (and devaluing) the partner and I actually have seen that happen quite a few times (actually heard a friend of a friend's partner go through this this year), and I think making sapphism your whole personality when you're dating a guy might feel ostracizing for them, but I can't personally judge or feel affronted by every sapphic doing this because I don't personally know their partner and how it affects them. I also definitely think there's something to be said about people grifting on the 'aesthetic' of sapphism but again, sort of hard to gauge that. (Also to clarify I'm not referencing the aforementioned sapphics with boyfriends who obsessively talk about lesbianism when they're not lesbians at all here just specifically non-lesbian sapphics w/ boyfriends.)

I wish people were more like you lol if they simply could talk about their opinion with respect.

I partially agree with what you’re talking about. I know how easier it probably is for them to be in a straight relationship whether than in a sapphic one (especially if their family is homophobic or if they live somewhere that’s not safe to be openly queer). So when it comes to these cases I really get it. And I also agree with you when we’re talking about online safe spaces for sapphics.

I don’t really know if that anon who sent the vent post was talking about sapphics in general or if they meant to be more specific because for me at least doing those things online and in real life can be very different.

What I was talking about (the shitty behavior part) is mostly when people do this in real life, when their partner could be seeing that behavior. And I don’t think people really understand how that can happen in all types of relationships, regardless of gender identity and sexuality. I have a friend who had a boyfriend who would constantly talk about skinny women while that friend of mine didn’t really fit the skinny body type, and that would make her feel really bad about herself. So that’s what I meant when people are constantly talking about a certain type of person they’re attracted to that does not fit what their partner is.

Obviously if their partner is okay with that than it’s not an issue, I’m talking about the ones who either know talking about other people in that way makes their partner uncomfortable or simply don’t care enough to actually know if their partner is okay with that.

[josiebelladonna]

“oh, no,” i hear you say. “not more of these.”

yes, more of these, except these are from a horse’s mouth, the words of a therapist.

(18+ please)

When do I feel like my most authentic self?

Aside from making art or being on my blog, never. It’s like there’s this unspoken rule that I’m forbidden from ever fully being myself. The punishment is I’m always made fun of (and not in the flirty way that I usually employ) or ostracized. People don’t like the authentic “me”: when I show the real “me”, they don’t know what to do with me. The real me is never embraced, no one likes it or wants to be with it. The real me is hated. I always feel like I’m being judged for things I like, all that I do, everything… no one actually likes me, and no, I don’t see a shred of power in this, either. I tried to see it but I can’t. I’m not amazing. I’m just nobody.

My most authentic self does nothing but leave me isolated.

And by the way, I’ve found that this is very quickly becoming one of those words that’s thrown around so much that it’s losing its meaning. Like, “vibe” is one of those words. What does it even mean to be authentic anymore?

When, if ever, have I experienced sexual flow?

What’s that?

Edit: I’m a virgin.

Second edit: never. Literally never. Nevermind the fact that I’ve never had sex and that this is the first time i’ve heard of this, I’ve always been so rigid and wary of my own behavior.

What words or images come to mind when I hear the term “gay”? (“Lesbian?” “Bisexual?” “Asexual?”)

Call me old-fashioned but I think of really happy people (the term “gay” meant “happy” before it was used to describe sexuality, after all).

Lesbians, I think of short, often unusually colored hair on women.

Bisexual, I think of Kirk Hammett of all people.

Asexual, I think of the ace cards in a deck.

In what ways do I imagine my life would change if I were more involved with LGBTQ2S+ people? How would it stay the same?

I’m lgbtq+ and I don’t think my life has changed in the slightest.

How does my body react when I see queer-themed scenes in movies or TV shows?

A little uncomfortable, to be honest, like I squirm a bit—it’s because I don’t expect it, it’s not “internalized” anything. It’s that I don’t expect it. After a time, though, it doesn’t even faze me in the least.

Regardless of gender or appearance, what helps me feel most connected with a romantic or sexual partner?

…their intellect? I don’t know, I’ve never been involved with anyone before. 

(Can we stop using the word “partner” please? This word is just a noise to me now, completely devoid of meaning).

What does “Love is love is love” mean to me?

Reminds me of “a rose is a rose is a rose” from Gertrude Stein. An odd repetitive phrase that’s supposed to make you think (except Mrs. Stein was approaching from an “it is what it is” angle).

How do I trust myself to make big decisions?

Big decisions, that’s for people who have their shit together, right?

What practices, beliefs, and experiences are essential to my self-identity?

My pain. My anxiety. My weight. The way I move and how I do it. The way I love and feel.

I don’t know, I feel like I’m bullshitting.

What messages did I receive from family, friends, and the communities in which I live about what it means to live a “good” life with “good” relationships?

(Oh, man, you want me to go there?) I was taught that I had to be married to a man with two children by the time I was my age that I am right now and that I would have all things sexual figured out the very second I had a wedding ring on my finger—this belief that women can automatically turn on their sexuality at the drop of the hat once they’re married was pounded into my head from a young age. The total christian belief that for some alarming reason gen z has taken to as of late… 😳

No one ever told me about possibly identifying as a different sexuality (it was always “if you feel this way, I’ll accept you”, akin to “if you need anything, tell me” that I hear at the slightest mention of depression or anxiety, but never the possibility that it would happen to me, though), or that I would find myself thinking about girls as well as boys, or that crossdressing is fine. I lived in a podunk town full of conservatives when I was in high school. There was a boy at the middle school who committed suicide because he was bullied for being gay. I remember I was a senior when it happened: his name was Seth Walsh. Rise Against did a song called Make It Stop and they actually mention his name in the bridge.

What do I imagine are the hardest parts of living as an openly LGBTQ2s+ person? What would be the best?

Actually being open with it: when I was a baby, my cousin Harmony came out as lesbian and then began identifying as male, and the family pretty much disowned him. I actually did say I was pansexual on facebook before my logout and no one said anything, and I don’t know if I should be insulted or relieved because it’s a big deal coming out, especially after what happened to my cousin.

As for the best, I have no clue. I said I was pan on instagram, and again, no one bat a lash. It’s like coming out has completely lost its intensity and literally no one cares if you come out as pan or anything. I honestly don’t know what’s worse, to be honest: I expect becoming persona non grata because it’s happened to me my whole life, but indifference? No. 

So much for being vulnerable and connecting with people.

What would I need to change in my life in order to consider options beyond heterosexual relationships?

Get the hell out of this area and never come back, for one thing. After that, I don’t know. It’s not like spotting a toupee. Can people tell if you’re lgbtq+ without you being aware, or is that just some corny joke that tv and movies did for years?

What would it mean for me to change how I identify sexually?

Ever since I started identifying as pansexual, it’s made a lot more sense but it hasn’t really helped me in connecting with people. If anything, it’s made me feel a lot lonelier. I can’t imagine having a boyfriend, and I sure as shit can’t imagine ever having a girlfriend.

Which parts of my current/past relationships have been performative and which parts feel genuine and pleasurable?

I’ve never had a relationship. Not even exaggerating. I’ve never had a boyfriend and having a girlfriend is out of the question, especially since some of my worst bullies were girls.

What kinds of thoughts do I have when I see a same-sex couple holding hands in public? Kissing?

I only ever saw a lesbian couple holding hands one time and I was mesmerized by them. I remember walking right behind them and I couldn’t stop looking at them (I almost walked right into a tree, I was so drawn to them). Never saw two gay men together, though.

How do I bring compassion and kindness to those parts of myself that make me feel uncomfortable?

I’ve been trying to figure this out for months. Yes, I tried affirmations, and they didn’t help—if anything, they made me feel worse about myself. I journal and it only kicks up anger and negative feelings about myself. I write erotica but I have difficulty talking about it and saying it out loud: in my year review post in December, I was really struggling to write in the fact that I’m an erotica writer now. It looked effortless but trust me, I was struggling. Like, do I actually say that, especially with how big of pricks ig are with that?

Which terms or words do I use to describe my sexual interests?

Ridiculous. Unnatural. Lame. Boring. Filthy. Worthless. Horrible. Disgusting. Unacceptable. I’m a heathen. I’m not human. I’m a bad person. Completely not sexy at all, only “cute”. What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? Why do I feel this way? What am I doing wrong? Nothing positive, that’s for sure.

I’ve never felt safe to express these things, either. How am I supposed to see them in a positive light if the outside world won’t let me share in the first place?

Consider: “Labels are for clothes, not people.”

I usually say cans of soup, because even clothes defy labels.

How do I embrace my authentic self – even when it differs from the expectations of others?

I just do but… I see no use or power in it, especially when the reaction I get is “meh, whatever”, instead of bringing me to the right people.

This was supposed to bring me to the right people. I feel like i’ve been lied to. It’s not in me to fake it, either: what the hell am I supposed to do?

What makes me feel the sexiest?

I guess my skinny jeans? Black and stretchy and they go with anything. I don’t really like t-shirts anymore because it always feels like they’re choking me (they make me look matronly, too).

Were you expecting me to say lingerie? No. I look at lingerie from Spencer’s, I picture myself in one of those and I cringe immediately. I know I’ll look like an idiot if I wear something that’s supposed to be sexy. Why do I even bother.

What is my favorite sex scene in a movie or television show?

I don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene and didn’t feel uncomfortable, or told to look away. Add to this, it’s all underwhelming: I hate 50 Shades of Grey (and screw you if you think that’s legit erotica) and I have never seen anything on the silver screen or small screen that was actually sexy in my eyes. This is what people find hot? This sucks.

Am I holding anything back from myself?

Happiness. What have I done to deserve true happiness? Nothing? Okay, then what should I do to get happiness? Oh, also nothing? Why am I not happy then? Did I miss something here, why is this such a nebulous concept? Why is this so pointlessly confusing?

My lesbian thoughts. They’re like… here and gone in a couple of seconds. What do I even do with them.

My straight thoughts, too. What guy would want me?

I don’t even know what I want in another person, except for intelligence, spontaneity, looking unusual, a big heart, and has a conscience.

I have never been anyone’s crush—I’ve never been anyone’s tumblr crush, if you can believe that. People on tumblr have crushes on other tumblr people (you see those posts ad nauseam about how much they love their mutuals, and they’re really annoying because it just reminds me of my own loneliness. and they’re just stupid on principle, too, like I GET IT. YOU LOVE YOUR FUCKING FOLLOWERS. SHUT UP ALREADY, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT AND I DON’T BELIEVE YOU ANYWAY.) I don’t get this new generation of tumblrs either: you claim to be fans but there’s no passion, it all feels very passé and heartless, like an attraction at Disney. But mention ~mutuals~ and you would think a strip club just opened.

I have never been anyone’s girlfriend, anyone’s type… anything.

Moreover… what on earth makes the adults in the room think i’m hot shit?

“Hannah, did you see that cute boy checking you out?” What is this supposed to accomplish? I didn’t see anyone, and I don’t know what you want from me.

“I assume that belongs to your hot boyfriend.” (talking about my rock n roll jacket, and it’s kind of obvious it’s mine because the collar is pink and next to pins and patches of bands, it’s got kind of effeminate patches like daisies, hot pink peace signs, and cats as well)

Why should I hold back anything when there’s nothing to send out to? I yell into a void all the time. I’m being myself but no one listens or cares or wants to get to know me, like there’s a reason why I turned off my ask box (aside from getting rude messages and they were genuinely upsetting me). If I’m not getting shat on, I get radio silence. I’m literally that starved.

Do I have anything I am concerned to tell my partner?

*seethes* Everything. What am I supposed to say? What do you want to know? What do you want me to say?

For some reason, journaling about the relationship aspect of sexuality only makes me angry: it makes me painfully aware of how fucking pathetic and lame my sexual history is, how a woman my age is supposed to be far more experienced than this, and it just makes me aware of how much of a black sheep i am, too. I violated a time table and I failed at being myself: I deserve to be punished and destroyed. I really, really feel like I messed up by being a late bloomer and not living up to expectations from a young age. I mean, I have a lot of anger in the area of sexuality as is, and it’s very dualistic, too: I feel anything sexual and I get angry, and then I get angry at myself for being angry about something that’s supposed to be natural.

Moreover, the fact no prompt list I have ever come across to try and help me unpack and audit my feelings has not had the presumption that those doing these have never had a relationship does fuck all to help—if anything, it just riles up the anger. “You and a partner” this, “you and a partner” that. Is virginity just a joke and a myth to you people who write these godforsaken things, what the hell? Some of us are just that malnourished. Some of us have never been approached or even looked at. Some of us are physically ugly. Some of us have never felt sexy a day in our life.

STOP ASSUMING WE HAVE OR HAD A PARTNER. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

What are my favorite sexual fantasies?

I’m so tired. 

I’m exhausted. 

I don’t know what to expect out of these anymore. 

I have too much pain about the realm of sexuality that it’s overwhelming.

This is all bullshit, like my fantasies are so stupid. 

No one finds me attractive.

My sexual expression is hideous.

Just leave me alone.

[scarlet--wiccan]

Something that really bothers me about the popularity of M/C/U Wanda, and the success of WV & DSMOM, is that a lot of the people who really like these things are people who claim to actually get something validating, or cathartic, or empowering out of them. I'm glad that people are finding some value in all this, because I love superhero media in spite its many, many flaws, and I think there is a lot of potential in these stories.

Here's the thing you have to understand, though. Whatever resonance or representation you find in the Scarlet Witch is resonance and representation that people like me, Romani people, have been denied. That might mean nothing to you, but it's about more than just "representation." It's also about the fact that M/C/U fans mobilize to direct hate speech and harassment towards real Romani individuals whenever we speak up about this. It's about the fact that both X-Men and Avengers franchises have perpetuated Holocaust distortion and the historical erasure of Romani genocide. It's also about the fact that anti-Romani and antisemitic tropes in popular fiction do cause material harm in the real world, and these films use the Scarlet Witch character to perpetuate both.

I've seen (white) women wax poetic about how WV & DSMOM explore trauma, grief, and motherhood. I've seen a LOT of gay people relate to Wanda as someone who is ostracized and vilified by the everyone around her. LGBT comic readers (and industry pros) also flocked to Wanda*Vision to see Billy and Tommy, young characters who grow up to become gay and bisexual men in the source material.

Everybody is having a great time loving these characters, whether they connect to the pathos, or they're excited about the prospect of further LGBT representation, but WE don't get to enjoy that with you. I had a conversation last year with an illustrator who works for Marvel Comics. He was talking about how refreshing and, in a way, healing it was to see Billy and Tommy as young children, because gay people are not usually represented in that stage of life, and it often feels like our childhood is taken away from us. I had to tell this guy that I'm also gay, and I would like to be able to feel represented in this way, too, but I'm also Romani. That representation has been taken away from me. It's been taken away from LGBT Jewish people, too. Instead of getting to enjoy these characters, I just have to deal with the racist fanbase. Your enjoyment of this comes at our expense.

[therealvinelle]

Hi, your metas are super interesting, and even if I really enjoy fanon twilight, it's really cool to read opinions based only on canon too!

So my question is about the sexual orientation of the Cullens, do you think they all straight?

For example i saw someone saying that Edward maybe was demisexual and it left me thinking, so i just wanted to know your opinions about it :)

In short, no.

In alphabetical order:

Alice is with a man, but without getting into the mess that is Alice/Jasper here, I don’t think theirs is a particularly physical relationship. I mean, if Alice wanted to get laid, she could just decide to fuck Jasper, enjoy the vision, and bam. Itch scratched. Thanks, Jazz. Alright, I’ll be serious. Alice and Jasper are with each other because the other represents salvation, not so much because of a personal or physical attraction but because of mysticism. So to me that doesn’t really say much about Alice’s preference. All the same I can’t see Alice having a particular preference, she’s too... Alice. Although it is easier to picture her with women. She is also the second half of the Alice/Bella homoerotic extravaganza, which makes heterosexual Alice even more farfetched to me. So, bisexual or lesbian Alice.

Bella shows clear attraction to women as well as men. She’s attracted to Rosalie, Alice, Edward, and Carlisle. I’ll just give you guys quotes: Of the three boys, one was big — muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark, curly hair. Another was taller, leaner, but still muscular, and honey blond. The last was lanky, less bulky, with untidy, bronze-colored hair. He was more boyish than the others, who looked like they could be in college, or even teachers here rather than students. The girls were opposites. The tall one was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. The short girl was pixielike, thin in the extreme, with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction. (Twilight, page 9) This is the Cullens’ introduction. I won’t spend much time on it, just notice the difference between Rosalie and the others. Rosalie is highlighted in a way Alice is not, and Edward is at first glance only the boyish one of the guys. Rosalie was the Cullen whose beauty immediately stood out to Bella. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful — maybe the perfect blond girl, or the bronze-haired boy. (sic.) Bella has realized by now that Edward’s a grade A hottie, but she’s still torn between him and Rosalie. Bella then gets to know Alice, and they become friends who take showers together(!). Rosalie may be the most attractive Cullen woman, but Alice is the one Bella gets emotionally close to. We get this in New Moon:  UNNATURALLY STILL AND WHITE, WITH LARGE BLACK EYES intent on my face, my visitor waited perfectly motionless in the center of the halt, beautiful beyond imagining.  (...) I locked my arms around her, gasping to inhale as much of the scent of her skin as possible. It wasn't like anything else—not floral or spice, citrus or musk. No perfume in the world could compare. My memory hadn't done it justice. (New Moon, page 191) Bella never thought she’d never see any of the Cullens again, so for her to be hysterical and ecstatic upon seeing her second favorite is not by itself damning. I’m sure she’d be ecstatic to see Emmett too. It’s that fact that she’d missed Alice’s scent that’s interesting. The scent of her skin was something Bella was aware of before they parted. And while it may be tempting to say “it’s because they’re vampires, Bella’s admiring them like she would a work of art!”, Bella never dwells on Esme, Jasper, or Emmett in this way. Jasper and Emmett especially are not admired beyond the introduction of their characters. We never hear about what any of them smell like, nor does Bella remark upon their beauty after waking up a vampire. Carlisle and Edward, by comparison, are men she keeps noticing. Bella finds Carlisle blindingly beautiful when she first sees him as a vampire, and there’s this from New Moon: Though it erased the sting, it reminded me of the gash, and I watched Carlisle's face carefully to distract me from what his hands were doing. His hair gleamed gold in the bright light as he bent over my arm. (New Moon, page 18) There’s thinking someone is pretty, and then there’s gazing lovingly upon their face instead of pain killers. Bella is bisexual.

Carlisle moved in with a very gay man, had a close relationship with him, lived with him for the sake of his company for decades, and only left because of dietary differences. We don’t know for sure whether they actually had an affair or not, but the fact remains that of all the Cullens, Carlisle is the one who is implied to have had a homosexual relationship in canon. He loses his straight card based on that alone. Also gonna link this clip, because I’m Mac listening to Edward talk about how young Carlisle lived with this sexy Mycenaean Greek for a few decades when he was young. Aro is all the santas. Carlisle is bisexual.

Edward... oh boy. His brain is supposedly seventeen, and yet this very interesting thing happens in his relationship with Bella where he never notices her body. Not ever. By body I mean curves. Edward notices Bella’s skin, her frailty, her humanity. He praises her blushes, her doe-like eyes, her warmth, her softness, her swan-like neck, her delicious scent. The feminine aesthetic. He does not once notice her tits. The only tits he is on record noticing belong to Siobhan, and it’s because she has an impossible to ignore rack: She was profoundly female in shape—aggressively, forcefully female. (Midnight Sun, chapter Probability) It’s one thing for him to be old-fashioned and too quintessentially Edward to even think the word “boob”, but in 700+ pages of Midnight Sun there’s just this absence of this seventeen-year-old noticing her curves. More damningly, when seeing Alice’s vision of vampire!Bella, Edward is horrified at the sight of his love cold and hard. He doesn’t describe vampire!Bella by any of the positives, like “flawless”. Edward is attracted to the human, not the woman. What that means for his sexuality... well, I’m going to go ahead and point out that he is very weird about Carlisle, and it’s damning that the personality he projects onto Bella is so similar to Carlisle. I hesitate to apply a label here, but in my own, personal, headcanon we’re veering towards homosexual. Deeeeeeply closeted homosexual.

Emmett is straight. Straightest guy ever to straight.

Esme is pretty clearly taken with Carlisle. Though if she were to feel attracted towards another woman, I imagine she’d have no idea what to make of that, if she even recognized it for what it was. She’s from a very different time and still living in that time, and she continues to be very sheltered. Still, as per my personal headcanon, I see her as straight.

Jasper, who knows. Though if he’s into guys, he has probably gone for it in the past. I suppose I should write a meta on vampires and sexual norms in general, but in short I don’t think they all live monogamously like the Cullens. STDs and pregnancies are unheard of, as is social ostracizing. Vampires are hedonistic, Twilight vampires more so than any other. Which in turn means I don’t think Maria and Jasper were monogamous. A couple, sure, but I don’t think Maria would say “oh noes, I can’t, I’m with Jasper!” if someone she was attracted to made an overture, and same goes for Jasper. So, if Jasper was into guys, then sure. I can see Jasper/Peter happening, or even Charlotte/Jasper/Peter. Jasper is certainly into women, with the possibility of guys as well. And if so, then it’s probably happened.

Rosalie I’m shocked is with a guy in the first place, everything about her screams lesbian. However, she’s clearly into Emmett, so apparently she’s bisexual.

(I’m not including Renesmée in this, since she’s three months old by the time the series conclude.)

This all being said, several of these people are from very different times and wouldn’t have the same concepts of sexuality internalized as we do, so how they’d identify is a very different matter.

[cuntess-carmilla]

The level of performance you demand from bi people as a whole, but especially of bi women, is motherfucking insane. I really don't get why you all demand bi women virtue signal their sexuality by "rejecting" men in order to not deem them gross lesbophobes by virtue of existing. "Even" if they prefer men that's not necessarily out of some internalized homo/biphobia. They just like men. That’s kind of part of (most bi people’s) bisexuality. Shocker, I know.

A lot of the behaviors you all accuse bi women of (not taking other women seriously as partners, for example) are behaviors a lot of lesbians in denial exhibit too but in us you see victims of our own pain and misogyny who need help and understanding, while in bi women you see vile irredeemable perpetrators who must be ostracized and punished.

You blame them of their own abuse at the hands of cis straight men in ways that if you remove the "bi" from "bi women" you would recognize as disgusting victim-blaming, WHILE rejecting them & pushing them out of LGBT spaces, which, guess what you fucking geniuses; leaves them to have cis straight men as their only viable option. Funny how that works. You're all "women should stay away from dating bi women" or "bi women fetishize lesbianism by wanting to be with women" but shame bi women for being with men IN THE SAME BREATH. What the fuck do you want them to do? Be celibate for your own biphobic comfort?

I legit saw idiots on Twitter say "normalize lesbians only dating other lesbians" as if that's not what's normalized already. Bi women are already seen as gross sluts that kiss women at parties to turn men on and only seriously date men. What the fuck isn’t normalized about lesbians dating lesbians only?

You think that I, a literal fucking dyke, didn't see women at some point as hot for sex and men as the only viable partners for serious relationships? Would you see me as a disgusting dangerous misogynist for having been there, or as struggling with internalized homophobia? If it’s the later, why don't you extend that same compassion to bi women? Only difference there is that I'm a lesbian and they're bisexual.

Sure, they like men so being with men isn't INHERENTLY torture for them like it is for me, but you don't think that thinking/behaving that way is traumatizing for them too? They love women and are depriving themselves of that experience out of internalized biphobia, misogyny and homophobia. You think that doesn’t fuck them up too? They're hurting too, but you think that, unlike a lesbian who does the same, THEY deserve that suffering.

And no one is telling you to date them or to suffer for them through it just because they're suffering too. What you're being told is to see them as the non-straight women they are who're suffering too and understand the complexity of their situation the same way you would someone like me.

You think too that the “solution” to the horrendous rates of IPV they face with cis straight men is swearing off men. Would you tell straight women to do the same if they don’t want to be abused by male partners? You wouldn't. Because you see straight women as not having "an option" but think bi women do and thus they MUST be asking to be abused. Literal “asking for it” shit. It's all victim blaming + Boys Will Be Boys, but add a "bi" to it and it's progressive somehow.

This points to you seeing women's attraction to men as only ok when it's not "chosen", just a passive reception of misogynistic violence (which, way to take away the agency of women’s sexualities, you dumb bitches), but when they IN THEORY have a "choice" because they also like women, their attraction to men is active instead of passive, and thus they're cock-sucking sluts who’re choosing to endanger themselves. You see women whose desire for men is active, as deserving of whatever results from their involvement with men. You can't be a biphobe without being a misogynist.

You see bisexuality as a fractured amalgam of homosexuality + heterosexuality instead of its own standalone identity, and thus they can and MUST choose one or the other, because their “heterosexual” attraction and their gay attraction are in active competition within them like the fucking two wolves shit. You can’t be a biphobe without being a homophobe.

Bi women's attraction to men is NOT normalized and biphobes are living proof of it. It's not normalized; they're bisexual, not straight. Their attraction to men coexists with, interlinks with and isn't independent of their attraction to women. Bi women ARE shamed and punished for liking men because they don't like men alone, they simultaneously like women and those are inseparable for them.

If it was normalized, it wouldn't be widespread to blame them for the abuse they receive when involved with men, like they should pick a side for their abuse to count or matter. They wouldn't be pushed out of LGBT spaces for being with men, it wouldn't be seen by other LGBT people (even many bi women themselves) as a flaw in their sexuality that makes them a gay-straight chimera. They wouldn't feel ashamed of their attraction to men. They wouldn't be seen with suspicion for liking men if it was normalized.

Them simultaneously liking men is seen as not loving men "correctly" AND as not loving women “correctly”. No LGBT women (including cis bi women and straight trans women) are seen as doing love and sex "correctly".

You can only claim bi women's attraction to men is normalized if you see bisexuality as a Lego combo of straight + gay and thus their attraction to men is separable from their attraction to women. It's not. They're not cherry-picked bits and pieces of heterosexuality and homosexuality. They're 100% bisexual, always, no matter in what way their bisexuality expresses itself. Be it bisexual with no preference, bisexual with a preference for women, or bisexual with a preference for men.

It's not 50-50% straight-gay, 25-75% straight-gay, or 80-20% straight-gay respectively. ALL are 100% bisexual-bisexual. If you can't respect that, you're a homophobe and a misogynist.

And yes, it is HOMOphobic to see bi women with suspicion for liking men. You see "homosexual" attraction as inherently in jeopardy if there's a coexisting "heterosexual" attraction because the gay one will be lesser and you see the "straight" one as a threat that'll take precedent. That’s your gay insecurity from internalized homophobia speaking.

Then too, there's a reason biphobes think bi men are secretly gay, and bi women are secretly straight. You see men as the superior and inevitable choice for both. That's misogyny. If you're a biphobe, you ARE undoubtedly a misogynist and a homophobe, even if you're gay and/or a woman yourself.

Every time people make armchair judgements of bisexual women as man-worshipers all I can think of is my sister who cried rivers of tears to me about how painful and stressing it is to over-perform her attraction to men who're not even her type (she likes gnc men!) just to stay closeted, and when I think of that, I wish so badly I could slap each and every person doing that.

And yeah! You read right, GNC MEN. Bisexuality is "gay enough", "even" in their different-gender attraction, that plenty of bi women prefer gnc men, and plenty of bi men prefer gnc women. In fact, plenty of bi people, including the cis ones, are gnc themselves (with a specific tendency towards androgyny but there's many who're distinctly masculine/feminine at it) and thus much more visible as gay than someone like me; a fucking lesbian, but I'm fem-presenting.

"Bi people can stay closeted while in relationships." So can gay men and lesbians who have beards, who hide our partners, whose partners are trans and closeted, if we're trans and closeted ourselves, or if we’re single and not visibly gnc.

My relationship would be seen as straight by outsiders because my fiancé is a closeted trans lesbian. Unless you’re a transphobe you would NOT call that a fucking privilege. It’s not a fucking privilege that she’s forced to hide herself and hide that the nature of her exclusive love for women is gay. That shit fucking kills her inside. It’s not a privilege that to keep the love of my life safe and myself too I have to pretend that our love is straight when it was so fucking hard for me to just detect, let alone ACCEPT and take pride in that I don’t like men.

All of that keeps us safe, but at great emotional cost. Being closeted is safety for all LGBT people, but it’s not a privilege, it’s PAINFUL. You understand this when it comes to gay men and lesbians, and can feel compassion for us. Why not for bi people? Why are you so angry at bi people? Why do you hold so much contempt for bi people?

I'll tell you why: BECAUSE YOU'RE BIGOTS.

[bemamar]

Yes as bisexual woman the way Depp treated Amber and the way people condone it terrifies me. He attacked multiple women for hugging/"flirting" with Amber and threatened to break their wrist.

He was paranoid about her interacting with anyone in case she was a cheater with no evidence of it.

He destroyed paintings her ex partner Tasya Van Reed had given her as gifts.

Accused her trans friend iO of turning into a man just to be with Amber also called him a d*ke.

And called Amber a "lesbian camp counselor" for attempting to help with his addiction.

Bisexuals are already more likely to suffer abuse from their partners and this is all just so heartbreaking. Specially because other members of the LGBT community are distancing themselves from her. They're denouncing her when to me it's so clear that so much of the abuse she suffered was because she was bi :(

Absolutely, yes.           *sigh* Honestly, anon? I wish I could say that I’m surprised, but there is a reason why our self-esteem is the worst compared to monosexual sexualities, which is also why a lot of us think we deserve to be abused and suspected by our partners... Bisexuality and bisexual spaces have always / historically been an umbrella and shelter for all other queer identities, and specially to those that are also ostracized, famously trans folks and ace/aro folks. Bisexual activists did a lot of work for our communities rights at large, even when they were being actively ostracized, and people were actually trying to kick us out from the community itself (just like they’re doing with trans folks now, see the similarities?). So most of us love all of our queer siblings, but unfortunately many of them just don’t love us back. Sadly, biphobia, to this day, I feel isn’t even seen as bad to begin with. It almost feels morally acceptable to be biphobic both in our community and in the world at large (again, similarly to trans and ace/arophobia). All of these things influence this case, and this case influences us too. It cannot be sanitized from biphobia, because it’s a very significant part of it. I honestly believe that if this case was about a gay or straight woman, some things would be different, even if the outcome was still the same for whatever reason, big parts of this hatred, or the intensity of it wouldn’t be. And if anyone out there doesn’t think this will also make things worse for bis who are already seen as untrustworthy cheaters and partner abused, then idk what to tell you. Like I said in my post it’s both, it’s the intersectionality of her being a woman and of her being specifically bisexual. The good news is things might be slowly starting to change, all we can do is keep up with awareness work, call it out when we see it, and hold on to those in the community that do love us back, and that do cherish our history and existence, and the good we’ve done. Maybe now, more than ever! 

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Three of Three

(another massive, massive thank you to @mimsyaf​ )

part 1

part 2

8. Queerness and femininity and masculinity and the colour red and *record breaks*

If we spin the record aaalll the way back to this paragraph: “…looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), and men.” Reading Daniel as a repressed, bisexual boy in a society that doesn’t accept his desires it’s interesting looking at how he moves through the world of the Miyagi-verse, at how threatened other men are by him, at how obsessed they are with him.

He’s out in the symbolic woods and these large boys and men see him and decide for whatever plot reasons to come for him. And they are large and violent and attractive and apart from Johnny again, they don’t have the nebulous excuse of fighting over a girl and even that excuse dies by around the midpoint when Johnny kisses Ali just to get a rise out of Daniel. He’s not trying to “win her back,” he’s not even really looking at her. He’s just trying to get a reaction. They don’t have any of the fighters in Rocky’s excuse either of Daniel being a macho opponent. 

You can read whatever subtext into TKK1 and TKK2 (which becomes especially tempting once CK confirmed that the guys he fought at seventeen have been thinking about him ever since – for thirty-five years), but TKK3 is where it’s really At in terms of obsession and lust and forbidden desires.

Silver is presented as both a handsome prince who saves Daniel and mentors him (where Miyagi is undoubtedly cast in a fatherhood role) and later on becomes twisted into a dark secret that Daniel has to keep, while he turns that thing that Daniel loves (karate, it’s… it’s karate… it’s also men, but it’s definitely karate, because karate makes him feel… things...) into an abusive, violent version of itself.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But he’s also offering him something liberating. Whatever is going on in that nightclub scene is about something other than breaking Daniel down. Even the bloodied knuckles aren’t just about revenge. It’s about giving him something that he isn’t, in the end, willing to receive, at least not from Silver. In that roundabout, strange way of these feminine fairytales, it’s exploring hidden desires through the metaphor of karate.

Daniel wears red because it’s his colour. In the movies he wears red a lot. Often in scenes with violence in them (the beach/the hilltop in TKK1 and the date/the destruction of the dojo/the final fight in TKK2), but he also has a variety of shirts (and in TKK3 pants) that pop up all the way through the narrative. He wears a red jacket when he accepts Terry’s training, when he punches a guy in the face, and when he tries to get out of the training again (as badly as that goes).

Did anyone consciously think about red’s link to desire, obsession, and violence when they made these? Eh. But is it there symbolically? When he meets Johnny, when he fights Chozen, when he’s in emotionally fraught situations with Terry? Hell yeah.

Probably the most lust-and-violence infused red is that aforementioned punching-board-until-knuckles-bleed bit – not that I thought Terry was going to pull him in for a kiss, because I knew, logically, of course he wouldn’t right? There’s no way… is there? Or later on when Daniel punches that guy and ends up with blood all over his shirt and Terry once more grasps him, euphorically. Blood is violence. Blood is also desire. Red is Daniel’s colour, even though he doesn’t acknowledge it come Cobra Kai. (Maybe he just needs someone else - cough Johnny Lawrence cough - to inspire it in him again).

Daniel LaRusso’s narrative is exploring that most feminine of fairytale tropes: To want and be wanted by monsters and having to hide those desires.

“Maybe this time that strange churning in my stomach that feels like a mix of anticipation and fear will turn out good for me.” - Daniel’s mind.

At the end of the story, Daniel saves himself, with all of the strange mixed narratives around it, and the acknowledgement that the end of The Karate Kid Part Three isn’t satisfying and its aftermath will likely be delved into in the next season of Cobra Kai.

Nevertheless, he saves himself. Not from Silver or Kreese or Barnes, and not entirely, but he makes a decision not to give in to fear (and he continues to try and live by that decision, making it over and over again for the next thirty-five years, even when the return of Cobra Kai makes that difficult for him). 

He doesn’t do it by being the strongest in the land or even through a lucky shot (although that too). He does it by refusing to be like the male antagonists that surround him, by telling them they have no power over him. The narrative isn’t just his getting lost in the forest and all the monsters he finds there, it’s about how he redefines power for himself within that forest. 

He’s a man who isn’t violent, whose victories include helping out a girl whose ex-boyfriend just broke her radio, successfully doing the moves to a cultural dance he’s trying to learn, sitting with his father figure while he cries over the death of his own father, telling a girl that she’s just made her first friend, and breathing a sigh of relief that a tree that got broken has healed. 

Daniel LaRusso is a good boy is the point!

Karate is a metaphor. It can turn into many things: A series of lessons learned about how to be his own man and take care of his own house, a respect for the history of the father teaching him and sharing his home and story with him, fear, desire, masculinity (and the different forms that can take). 

When a tall, handsome stranger offers to teach him karate in the dark, without Daniel’s caretaker knowing how to help him, and twists that karate into something that hurts him - when he reclaims that, over and over, that means something too. 

This man is fine and definitely isn’t carrying the weight of buried karate-based queer trauma - could a traumatised man do this? *stares blankly at a former tormentor as blood runs down his forehead*

9. In Conclusion Daniel Has Kissed Dudes… Symbolically… But We Can HC Literally:

So there’s Daniel and his coded feminine fairytale narrative. It’s all a series of fun coincidences.

1. Ralph Macchio is just Like That

2. Red. All the red. 

3. large portion of his storyline is about lack of power. Yes, he regains that power by the end of the first and second movie through A Fight, but generally he is framed as powerless opposite these almost monstrously physically powerful boys/men. And in the third one it’s barely even about physical prowess (he’d still lose a real fight against Barnes or Silver) and more about regaining lost autonomy off the back of a manipulative, abusive relationship with an older guy.

4. The third movie in particular is narratively a mess, but if reimagined as a fairytale makes a lot of sense (because it’s secretly all about how karate is bisexuality and Daniel gets manipulated through that desire to be better at karate).

5. Queerness and femininity and themes about hidden desires that can only be approached sideways through couching those desires in symbolism: Handshake meme.

6. The fact that the more I think about it, the more feral I am for a Labyrinth AU.

7. To sum up over 5000 words of text: The inherent homoeroticism of wanting to be slammed against a locker by a bully, but extended over three movies and ever-more inventive ways of hurting pretty-boy-Daniel-LaRusso.

Johnny’s not going to be happy when he realises Daniel’s got other ex-rivals buried in his closet...

10. Some Other Stuff Aka The Laziest Referencing I’ll Ever Do

Further reading on trans Matrix

Further reading on masculinity and rape narrative in The Rape Of James Bond

Youtube Video from Pop Culture Detective (Sexual Assault Of Men Played For Laughs)

Some film/TV references in this: Dracula (Coppola), Princess Bride, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Labyrinth, The Matrix, Rocky, Princess And The Frog, Cinderella, Enchanted, Shape Of Water, Swamp Thing, Phantom of the Opera 

Some fairytale references: Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, The Wolf And The Seven Little Kids, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Company of Wolves (Angela Carter), Through the Looking Glass, Princess Bride

Also referenced is Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel and the subsequent musical Funhome. Further thoughts on this by @thehours2002​ and @jenpsaki​:

https://thehours2002.tumblr.com/post/650033577171533824/daniel-larusso-and-fun-home-click-to-enlarge

https://jenpsaki.tumblr.com/post/650530225997971456/cobra-kai-fun-home-inspired-by-goldstargirls

My list of Cobra Kai meta posts

I wanted to delve into fairytale movies more, but then I was like “fuck, I have actual work to do,” but I was interested in the ways male and female characters are written in these stories:

The Last Unicorn, The Never-Ending Story, The Dark Crystal, Legend, and Stardust.

The Last Unicorn is an interesting one because she’s not really human, until she is. It’s more like The Little Mermaid (the fairytale, not the Disney film) in tone, and of course there’s a pretty substantiated rumour that Andersen wrote that one as a metaphor for falling in love with another man (who eventually got married). 

Andersen in general is just fun to analyse as someone who popularized so many fairytales and exists as an ambiguously queer historical figure – might’ve been modern-day gay, bi, ace, but we’re just not sure. All your favourite fairytales can be read through the lens of queer loneliness and ostracization. Just like horror.

Anyway I didn’t go into the whole Little-Mermaid-Last-Unicorn transformation bit so much as the Monstrous-Desires bit, but I think there could be something to that too, with monsters representing otherhood and all. Stardust is a kinda-almost-this, except she sticks to her human form and all is okey-dokey by the end, she’s allowed to marry the handsome man and be a star.

The Never-Ending Story has Atreyu and Bastian and because of a lack of female characters, an interesting bond between the two of them, but mainly Atreyu is absolutely a go-gettem Hero Type and it’s just interesting to see how Bastian relates to him as both an audience insert, but also eventually as his own character in that world.

The Dark Crystal contains certain… androgynous elements of feminine and masculine coded characteristics in the main character because of how he’s not human, but also they do have a “female” version of his species that he needs to go save (and bring back to life) by the end, so in a way it’s both more and less heteronormative in its characters.

Legend sees another example of a monster (literally called Darkness and looking like a traditional devil) trying to seduce a princess through promises of power, and she “goes along with it” in order to trick him and succeeds in that trick, but is ultimately saved by the male lead. 

In conclusion: I don’t even have Shrek in this.