#i love you guys but this one is trickier than usual

[wyattjohnston]

had it all worked out and then realised i was matching people who had specified very specifically reader insert or OC and now I have to rework the whole thing lmao

[thelovelyruin]

𝖘𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : yandere choso x fem reader

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso fell in love with you freshman year and it was finally time to make you his.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, praise, love, manipulation, murder (not you!)

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 7.1K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from saccharine by jazmin bean.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! this was a request i’ve been working on for a while lol; i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

Everything you do, I'm obsessed with you.

“Exciting, isn’t it?”

“Huh? I mean, yeah it’s cool.”

“Are you rushing too? I really wanna go Kappa!”

“That’s, uh, aren’t they kinda…”

“What, cunts? Yeah, I’d fit in nicely.”

When Choso first met you during rush week a couple years ago, you were an aspiring freshman looking for a sorority to pledge to, and he was a normal guy. Sorta. You’d spoken to him once and he became absolutely in love with you. Not like he hadn’t been with other girls in the past, a few relationships here or there. But you were different. Not like any other girl he’d seen. You hadn’t shared too much with him that day, but he was determined to figure out, well, everything about you.

I don't mean to scare, but you're just so cute.

It started with your name, which he’d simply just asked someone in your class. But then, Choso needed to know more, when was your birthday, were your zodiac signs compatible? He’d gotten that information from stealing your campus ID out of your purse while you two were in class together. Choso was paying really good attention to other things too though. He’d paid attention to your screen while he sat behind you, online shopping when you were supposed to be paying attention to the lecture. That’s how he found out what size you were and the brands you liked, but other things got a little trickier. He noticed the way you did your makeup, it was always so pretty, but it’s not like he knew what any of it was, so he’d slowly started stealing things out of your makeup bag. It was harder to get your perfume, though, until you reapplied it on the campus lawn one day. Pink sugar, huh? Sweet just like you. Choso wanted to be even better, he’d send you flowers with no receipt of who sent them, an array until he found your favorites. He’d pay for your food when you went out to eat, then leave to remain anonymous. He just loved seeing that smile on your face whenever he surprised you with something, always grateful, looking around to see if you could catch your secret admirer, but blushing when you realized you wouldn’t. God, you were perfect.

Lucky for you, you had actually gotten into Kappa. You walked around on this high horse though, one of those kiss-my-ass kind of attitudes. Not like anyone was gonna check you for it, well, ‘cause you were hot. Always well dressed, always groomed, always punctual. There was nothing anyone could really say about you other than you being a bitch, at least never to your face. Little did you know, Choso was your bitch. If you ever even glanced at him, he’d almost faint, and as the sophomore and junior years came and you’d gotten classes with him, he’d go back to his dorm and fuck his fist at the thought of you every day. But now, it was Senior year, and he was running out of time to make you his.

Every move you make, you're fucking sweeter than a cake.

Choso originally planned to just ask you directly, but he had to make sure it was gonna be perfect. He couldn’t leave room for error in the possibility that you weren’t interested at all. So, he’d gotten as close as possible to you. It wasn’t stalking, it was just studying an interest. He was pretty good at photography, so he got hired as a photographer for school events, such as parties or games. He’d walk around and take pictures of everyone like usual to not raise suspicion, but whenever he could, he’d snap as many pictures as he could of you, slipping them into his pocket. When there was too much going on at the party downstairs, he’d sneak upstairs to find which room was yours, for research purposes of course.

Well, that research went directly to Choso knowing which window to take pictures outside of. You were so oblivious, often leaving your curtains wide open as you just got out of the shower, dressed in nothing but a towel. Now, Choso never got a snapshot of you naked or anything like that, but the hopes of the day he could got him pretty damn hard. He’d take pictures of you walking around campus, doing fundraisers with your sorority sisters, running for the pageants that you always won, with the exception of Miss Junior, who you exposed for cheating on her boyfriend so she’d be out of the running. So, you’d won that too. You were practically perfect, Choso felt you were made for him, there was a true possibility he could nurture and care for you, allow you to let your guard down a bit and let him someone in. He imagined himself taking you out to all your favorite restaurants, he had all of them written down along with your favorite menu items. Nights in his room cuddled up watching all of the movies you liked, you’d be so excited to see all of your favorite snacks already waiting for you. You’d wear that glitter lipgloss you loved, he’d make sure you had more than enough, considering he’d already bought two tubes for whenever he made you his. He imagined making love to you, hearing you moan for him as he pleasured you, then put you on his chest as you fell asleep, resting his eyes as he held you. You two could truly be in love. 

I'd love to wipe these other bitches out, so it's just you and me.

But, you had a fucking boyfriend. It’s not like he didn’t like seeing you with other guys. He fucking hated it. Choso thought the guy was pretty scummy, he had that douchebag personality and always looked at guys like Choso like he was a piece of shit. But that asshole was truly a piece of shit. Megumi, or something like that. Choso didn’t bother doing too much digging up on him because it wasn’t gonna matter very soon. You guys had been dating since the beginning of the school year, not very long, but that didn’t stop him from talking to other girls when you weren't around. He’d forget your dates, and make you cry. Wouldn’t post you on his socials, almost pretended he was single. Choso had half a mind to stab him to death, mostly because he didn’t like the way he treated you, but also because then he wouldn’t be in the way anymore.

Then, there were your damn sorority sisters. Those bitches were definitely in the way. They took up too much of your time, making you busy every day with planning and meetings, to do what? Party and maybe, fundraise? He’d see them sometimes talking shit about you, saying you were weird or a bitch, or something else that wasn’t true about you. Choso would never say those things about you or treat you like that. You deserved someone who actually loved you and cared about you, none of these other distractions. He would give you the world, but that meant getting rid of the world you had first.

Oh, oh, this shit is scaring me…

Now, when Choso originally thought of doing this, he thought it was a little nuts. It was a little extreme, sure, but it was just an obstacle in the way to get to you. Sometimes, we do bad things for the people we love. It doesn't mean it's right, it means love is more important. 

Choso originally thought of actually stabbing Megumi like he wanted to. That fell quickly when he really considered the situation. Megumi was on the lankier side which meant it would be more tactical to get a hit in, plus he’d need to find a time he’d be alone in a discreet location to hurt him with no one noticing. Not that he’d really care if someone saw, it would just mean he wouldn’t be able to live the rest of his life with you; that was not an option. Shooting would be just as difficult, shell casings and the sound of gunfire could get him in deep. Could steal the brakes from his car, but then there was the possibility you were in it when it crashed, and for that, he’d never forgive himself. He’d need something that anyone could have done, an accident perhaps, something that wouldn’t kill Megumi, just get him out the fucking way. Then he got a little idea.

Don't wanna stick my fingers in this, or I'll start to bleed…

“Hey, Megumi!”

“Do I know you?”

“Well, we literally live on the same floor, but um, no. Anyways, wanted to talk to you about something…”

“Get on with it.”

“It’s her birthday today, your girlfriend that is.”

“Oh yeah. Well, why the fuck do you care?”

“We’re kinda close, wanted to get her something, but I’ll be too busy with classes to give it to her. Do you mind giving it to her for me?”

“You got my girlfriend a gift, bitch? What the hell’s in this box?”

“Well, that’s kind of a surprise for her…”

“Get the fuck out of my face before I beat your ass. Leave my girl alone, you fuckin’ weirdo.”

Megumi had slammed the door on him, just like that. Usually, Choso would’ve been really torn by his insult. He was pretty pissed Megumi forgot your birthday too, but how could he be pissed, truly? Not when a sweet resolution to Megumi’s shitty ways was on the horizon.

“Megumi’s like totally dead!”

“Omg, what do you mean he’s dead?”

“Well, he went to the hospital ‘cause he came down with like a fever or something? Todo said he couldn’t even talk when he found Megumi in the hallway and his eyes were all watery. The doctors said he died of, shit, what’s it called again? Whatever, like he couldn’t breathe! I don’t know what the fuck happened, but damn, really sucks, ya know?”

“Babe, I’m so sorry. To be fair, he was a dick.”

“Yeah, you’re right. He didn’t have a big one either TBH.”

Well, shit. Choso didn’t mean to kill him, not really. He knew Megumi was a fuckin’ asshole, though. Paired with someone crushin’ on his girlfriend and his ego, Choso knew Megumi was gonna open that box. And what was in it? Initially, Ricin covered the inside of the box, which when inhaled, caused damage to the respiratory system, which Megumi could technically recover from. Choso had extracted the Ricin from some castor beans. The same castor beans that were crushed inside of the cupcake sitting in the box. All 10 of them. Originally, Megumi would’ve lived, had he just thrown it away and not have been nosy, and if he did end up giving it to you, Choso would be there to intervene and he’d deal with that explanation later. But Megumi chose to be a nosy bastard, open it, AND EAT THE CUPCAKE! It was comical, really, considering Ricin can’t be found in an autopsy, so Choso got away with it. It’s okay. It had to be done. That greedy asshole got what was coming to him, and with him out of the way, Choso was cleared to enact Phase 2.

It's sweet like saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me.

A couple of days after Megumi died, you pretty much got over it, walking about as if nothing happened. To be fair, he was cheating on you all the time, lied to you, and overall treated you like shit, so it wasn’t that hard. What Choso didn’t expect was for you to get kicked out of your sorority house.

“Listen, babe. Your dead boyfriend is really throwing off the vibe here. Plus, it’s bringing a lot of bad looks to the rest of us because it seems like you honestly don’t give a fuck that he died, and truthfully, neither do we, but damn bitch, try acting like it!”

“Please, Chapter President, I can act like I care, I just-”

“Sorry girlie. You’re still a sister, don’t worry. You do have to leave the house though.”

Choso felt a little bad. A little. They really were bitches, but this was perfect. He’d just saved himself from starting a gas leak at the Kappa house when you weren’t home. He didn’t like that your feelings were hurt though, and he beat himself up about it. Choso himself wasn’t really a good guy, killing your boyfriend on your birthday? Almost killing your sorority sisters before they pretty much kicked you to the curb? He was doing the exact opposite of being a good boyfriend. He’d be on his toes from now on, can’t risk ruining his chances with you. However, it was all in good light. You were becoming more and more ready to fall into his arms.

Apparently, you pretty much kept to yourself and stayed in your room. Your classwork was slacking a bit, and you couldn’t live at the house, but that didn’t stop you from still trying to be involved, participating in some campus events, and fundraising with your sisters despite your exile. You were a normal girl, humbled for sure, but Choso didn’t like that very much. He never intended to break you down like this, while you were still sweet in his eyes, he knew you loved the life you had before. He can’t unkill Megumi, which wouldn’t make sense anyway because Choso was your boyfriend now, but he’d give you a life even better than the first. One where you and he were together.

Like cherry pie, will you be mine?

Now, Choso was a real sweetheart, getting you so many gifts for when you came along, preparing how he’d approach you, compliment you, fuck you. But he was getting a little impatient. At this point, it was already the tail end of courses before winter break so he didn’t have much time to see you every day, even though he’d make that happen regardless. Plus, all of the shit that had happened to you would wear off in a couple of days, so he needed to act now. Choso knew he couldn’t make you fall in love with him overnight, and it would be too hasty to try to take it slow with you now. So, he had no choice. He was gonna kidnap you.

Now, “kidnapping” is a rather strong way to put it. In reality, Choso was gonna come to see you and talk a bit, but if that didn’t work, he’d hold you at knifepoint and make you come back to his dorm with him to enjoy all of the things he’d set up for you! He would never hurt you intentionally, so it’s not like he was gonna use it, but he had to make you think he would. He wished kidnapping you was legal, why wouldn't he want to be able to love you and take care of you all the time? It’s okay, you’d learn to love him back. After all, Choso wasn’t your ‘maybe’. Choso was your ‘one’.

Sweet to the core, I want some more.

Choso decided he’d make his move on you the night of the last Kappa party of the season, too many people for anyone to notice him running off with you, plus he knows you’d look so pretty in your party dress, hair all done up, heels making those legs of yours look so pretty. And you did! Except, you were crying. When Choso got to the party and spotted you, you were sniffling as you walked out the back door of the house. Now, he had to be strategic about this, so he exited out the front in time to catch you walking from the back. When he’d gotten outside, he saw you walking down the sidewalk, but it wasn’t very well, your heel had broken and you were having to walk barefoot. He felt terrible seeing you like that. You looked so sad, so scared, just broken. Choso had to make things right.

“Hey, you okay?”

I love you.

I can hear your words breaking down my core…

You looked up at him with those beautiful doe eyes of yours, bloodshot and watery from crying, but still, you looked stunning.

“Oh, hey Choso. Honestly? No, I’m like not okay at all.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, my ex died and everyone’s making a super big deal about it. Like, people kept coming up to me asking questions and stuff like I was there when he died or something.”

“Oh, um-”

“Sorry, I know I sound like a twat right now, but he cheated on me like all the time! It’s honestly a long shot to say we were even together, not be cocky or anything, but I think he dated me to make himself look better. Plus, he got me in hot water with my sisters, like he’s haunting me after death or whatever.”

“Sounds like he wasn’t really a good guy…”

“Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, now I have to walk back to my stupid dorm with no shoes because I fell over like a klutz and just embarrassed myself to the nines. I don’t even wanna go back there, just makes me sad, ya know? I came out to this stupid party to get my mind off things and it’s like things are just bleh. It doesn’t even feel like anyone likes me anymore. I wish someone just loved me for me, ya know?”

I think about you every day at least a hundred times or more.

Choso walked up and hugged you, bringing you into his embrace. It was a bold move for sure, especially with the knife sheathed on his waist, but he just hated seeing you cry like that. Soon, you’ll feel how nice it is to have someone care about you so much. To have someone who wants to revolve their entire life around you.

“It’s okay. Know you don’t know me very well, but I’m here for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be too forward or anything, but you can come back to my dorm for a few, that is, if you don’t wanna go back to yours.”

“That’s so sweet, thanks!”

Fuck, this was perfect! He didn’t even have to threaten to kill you! Choso offered to pick you up, which you happily agreed to, holding your heels in your hand as he carried you back to his dorm. On the way, you talked about a bunch of stuff you liked, mostly things he already knew about you, but there were a couple of new things that enticed him. You’d stopped crying, that sweet smile back on your face as you found comfort in Choso’s arms. He’d gotten back to his dorm fairly fast, not wanting to waste much time to get things rolling. He figured he’d start with telling you about his love for you, really seeing if you-

“OMG, YOU HAVE THIS???”

You pointed at the movie poster on his wall, one of your favorite movie. He’d studied it a lot, trying to figure out why you liked it so much. He’d watched it over ten times by now, buying the poster as a touch when you finally came, which worked!

“Yeah, it’s a pretty good-”

“Pretty good? It’s like the best movie ever!”

“We can, uh, watch it if you want.”

“Yes, I’d love that!”

Choso was so lucky. Here you were, sitting with him on his bed as you watched the movie. You’d stop every few minutes and point out something about it you knew a fun fact about or laugh at the parts you’d seen so many times. You were so damn cute. You’d pretty much forgotten all of the stuff going on, able to just relax with him for once. Don’t you see how nice this is? How special things can be? 

“Oh wow, it’s getting late. Shit, I still have to walk back.”

Just like that, the movie was over. You looked tired, not just physically but mentally too. You couldn’t leave though, that’s not how this was gonna go.

“Are you sure you’re good to walk?”

“Whatcha mean?”

“I mean, your heels are broken and it’s too dark outside to be out there by yourself. Something could happen to you.”

Fuck, Choso was a little too bold with that last part. He was probably coming on too strong, he’d need to fix-

“You’re worried about little ‘ol me?”

“Something like that…”

YES. He was so fucking worried that sweat was about to drip from his face, red with anxiousness that the love of his life was about to leave him behind.

“Well, you could always walk with me. Or do you just wanna spend more time with me?”

You gave him a little smirk and wink, it went straight to his dick as he tried to think of a way to respond.

“I, um… yeah, I would.”

Your answer to his statement would be the deciding factor between you staying or him picking up that knife from his jacket on the chair. Fortunately for you, you smiled and put your things back down, sitting on the bed as you looked up at him.

“Fine, but we’re gonna watch another movie. Your pick this time.”

You make me afraid, come closer, wait no, go away…

Ten minutes into this movie and he felt like he was gonna fucking explode. This time around, you’d gotten closer to him. Instead of sitting at the end of the bed, you laid beside him, not quite touching you, but he could definitely smell you, and fuck, you smelled so good. It was becoming painful to not touch you, but he couldn’t risk fucking this up. You looked so nice like this, chest moving up and down as you laid comfortably, eyes low, obvious you were getting tired. 

“Hey, Choso?”

“What’s up?”

“Thanks for, ya know, being nice to me. I’m not anyone’s favorite these days…”

You looked so sad, but Choso couldn’t be happier. You were starting to recognize the only person who really cares about you is him!

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”

“Really? But, you barely know me.”

Choso actually knew you very well. Probably better than you know yourself.

“You’ve just got that type of personality that’s really easy to like, is all.”

You sat up now and looked Choso in the eyes, making him blush instantly.

“Oh yeah? So, you like me?”

Choso started stuttering and sweating, flustered beyond reason as you gave him one of those smirks. At this point, he didn’t even have to tell you. His body language was more than obvious.

“I was just kid-”

“Yes, I mean-”

You both looked at each other in shock. Why the fuck would he say that? You were fucking joking. Choso was stupid to think you were serious, not like he really had any chance with a girl like you. But that’s okay. He was gonna make one. Although, he didn’t know whether to love or hate you right now, most likely both. You looked up at him optimistically, like you were waiting on his response, but also blushing a bit as he nearly popped a blood vessel in front of you. He couldn’t even speak, choked up on his words as you brought your hand on top of the one he had leaning on the bed.

“Tell me, do you?”

“I do, for a while now.”

“So, why not ever talk to me?”

“Because you’re pretty hard to talk to.”

“How’s that?”

“You’re usually, um-”

“A bitch? Yeah, I am. But these past few weeks have humbled me.”

Choso wanted to laugh a little. Of course, it was because of him and the precautions he’s put in place for you two to end up together. You didn’t need to know that part though. You looked down, that same broken look you’d been putting off all night. Everything in him told him to stop, don’t be too hasty and he could probably get back to the plan, but it hurt him to see what he’d caused. It definitely didn’t help that you were crying again, bringing your knees to your chest as you fell into the realization of how messed up you felt. Choso pulled you into his arms, laying your face into his chest as he rubbed your back. You felt so warm, so soft, he didn’t want to let you go. Ever. 

“It’s not your fault. So, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Thanks, you’re right.”

It was hard to feel like the bad guy when you were smiling at him, finding comfort in his words. You two were dangerously close now, eye contact had him feeling like a deer in headlights, while you remained cool and collected, like usual. That’s one of the main things he loved about you, despite all of the crazy shit going on, you still try to appear fine, but that was far from the truth. He’d be a shoulder for you to cry on, someone you could depend on and pour your feelings into. Give your heart to someone who’s worthy of loving you back and spending their every breathing second devoted to keeping you happy.

Saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me. 

You’d kissed Choso softly, leaning in slowly enough to feel his breath hitch on his lips when he realized what you were doing. It was perfect. Your lips felt even softer than he thought they would, gentle and loving as you brought yourself closer, closing the distance between you. He had to get his head together, he’d practiced this part over and over again, and all he had to do was focus and execute it. First, cup your face with his hand. You smiled into his lips when he did this, allowing him to move to the second step, and bring his hand to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. You softened into his touch as he laid your back on the bed, opening your legs to let him on top of you. You were so sweet, moaning softly into the air as he began sucking the skin of your neck. Choso wanted to claim you, he’d finally gotten to kiss you and he needed everyone to know you were his. He sucked a little harder and felt ecstatic when you didn’t stop him, instead groaning as bruises began to flower on your skin.

“Choso…”

Shit, you moaned his name. It felt exhilarating, something he’s been waiting for for so long finally coming true. It lit a fire under his ass, coming up to kiss your lips once before he brought his lips back down to your collarbones, moving lower as his hand massaged your side. Once he’d reached the skin of your breasts, he’d stopped, looking up to you for the green light to keep going. Even though you didn’t really have a choice in spending the rest of your life with him, consent was still pretty important to him, so when you gave him a nod, he took off. Choso brought his fingers to the hem of your dress, pulling it over your head as you brought your arms up to aid him. God, you were beautiful. Your tits were on full display to him now, nothing covering you but a lacy pink thong. He was gonna start hyperventilating, your tits lifted as you breathed, nipples calling out to him like they needed saving. He brought his lips down swiftly and wrapped his tongue around one of them, immediately putting the other between his fingers to pinch as the rest of his palm massaged your breast. You started whimpering for him now, touch-starved since your boyfriend died, but Choso hoped it was also because he was doing things better than anyone you’d been with before. He alternated his mouth, groping and sucking as much as he could, relishing in the feeling of your tits in his face for the first time. As much as he could stay there all day, he knew you needed more, so he kissed his way down your stomach, lips grazing your pantyline. Choso sucked the skin of your stomach as you bucked your hips against him, turned on as he took care of you.

“Choso, please…”

He looked up into your eyes as he brought his lips off your body, fingers hooking into the fabric of your thong as he pulled them off of you. Holy fuck. You were soaking wet, lips glistening with your juices as your hips shifted slightly to invite Choso in. Without hesitation, he brought his lips down to your pussy, beginning to devour you. You tasted amazing, drinking the nectar of a fruit long awaited and it almost made him regret not planning to kidnap you sooner. You smelled so fucking good too, your pussy engulfing all of his senses as he ate you like his last meal. Your fingers found their way into his hair, moaning his name into the air with every lick of your clit. Sideways, up and down, circles around your bud, anything he could to hear you moan for him, to make your pain go away. He’d brought your legs over his shoulders and rested his hands under the arch of your back, angling your hips so he could eat you exactly how he wanted. Messy and slow, he took his time spreading your juices all over his face as you panted and pulled at the sheets. He was self-indulgent, tongue pumping in and out of you as he lived out his fantasies of eating your pussy.

“Choso…I-I…”

Shit, you were close. Choso was about to make you cum! He doubled down immediately, bringing his arms over your thighs to keep you in place as you felt your orgasm approaching. He’d picked up his pace too, tongue moving at a hungry pace as he anticipated your cum in his mouth. The hand you had in his hair gripped tighter, Choso taking it as a cue to bring his lips up and suck your clit, suction bringing your bud against his tongue. You came fast and hard, grinding your pussy against his face as you came for him, his name slipping off your lips over and over as you rode out your high.

You’re sweet to the core. 

You looked so pretty for him, chest rising and falling as you caught your breath. Choso slowly kissed his way back up your body, lips finding themselves on yours. This kiss was different from before, more intense and confident. At that point, you’d already started unbuckling his jeans, kissing him feverishly as you helped him take his clothes off. Hovering over you, he looked at you in awe. Legs on either side of his, big doe eyes looking up at him, waiting for him to fuck you.

“Holy shit…”

Your hands found his hair, gripping and tugging at it as he slipped in at a slow pace. Choso took his time, exploring the walls he longed for the feeling of. Every stroke nearly sent him over, wet and warm, you were like heaven wrapped around his dick. You felt even better than he’d imagined, much better than his fist he fucked to the thought of you. Especially with how you were moaning for him, it was driving him crazy, all he could do was praise you.

“You’re perfect…so fuckin’ perfect…”

“I know…”

God, he’s never felt like this. You were sucking him in like you were made for him, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth on his shaft as he fucked you faster. You were so beautiful, lips pursed as you breathed up and down, eyes fluttering as he fucked you.

“You feel so good, baby…”

“Choso…”

His name was killing him. He’d put in so much time to make sure he fucked you exactly the way you needed him, he had to make the first time perfect. A man that could care for you. Love you. Please you. Choso finally had you, and he was going to give you the fucking world.

I need to hate you before it's too late…

“So fuckin’ pretty, baby…”

Choso gripped your legs tight as he fucked into you fast, making you scream his name out into the room. You were doing this for him! Moaning for him! And you felt so fucking good wrapped around him, more than anyone ever before. There wasn’t anyone before you and there wasn’t anyone before him. Your world would revolve around him now like his revolved around you, every waking moment of being in love would be magical. 

“Choso, I-”

“Let me have it, baby. I’ve waited so long for it…”

He didn’t care what he was saying anymore, too high on you and your pleasure that he couldn’t think straight. If you were gonna cum for him, he needed it now, like his life depended on it. Something to signify the beginning of all of the pleasure he’d give you from this point forward.

“You know how long I’ve wanted this, baby? Fuck, I’m close…”

“That’s it, baby, let go, let me make you feel good…”

“So pretty, cumming on my dick like this…”

Choso was so fuckin obsessed with you. You came down like an angel, eyes fluttering as you murmured his name softly, body melting into the bed. He halted inside you as he came, losing his mind over the way your nails dug into his arms. You two lay there panting for a bit, Choso’s arm bringing you into his chest. So beautiful like this. He’d finally made it, you in his arms, right where you belonged.

Before I crave you…so please go away. 

“So, I’m not going back to my dorm tonight, am I?”

No, of course, you weren’t.

“Do you really want-”

“I don’t want to.”

Choso was shocked to hear your words. You actually wanted to stay here with him, he didn’t even have to scare you into doing it! 

“Do you have a T-shirt or something? It’s kinda cold in here.”

“Uh, yeah, let me grab-”

“No problem, I’ll get it!”

Stop it. FUCKING STOP. You were getting too comfortable, about to open Pandora’s box with your hand on his closet door. Choso should stop you, whatever it would take. By the time he’d gotten to the knife, you’d opened the closet, pictures of you all over the walls. Choso lingered behind you now, knife behind his back as he waited for your reaction. You just had to be so fuckin nosy, you’d ruined everything. 

“Choso…are these pictures of me?”

He gripped the knife tightly in his hand as he watched you look through them. He couldn’t even speak, heartbreak and murderous intent flowing out of him. Every picture put another pin in his heart. Photos of you around campus, through your dorm window, in class, all open for you to see. You brought your hand up to one, pulling it down as you looked over it. The picture he took of you on Valentine’s Day. You’d been sitting in class that day, sad because Megumi hadn’t gotten you anything, which Choso figured he wouldn’t. That’s why he had three dozen roses delivered to you on the lawn later that day, eyes brightening as you held them and read the card: “Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess. ~ your secret admirer.” You were so damn happy that day, so perfect. Now, you had to die.

“It was you, huh? All this-”

“Yes. It was always me.”

You pulled another one down, the one of you winning Miss Sophomore. Your face had the brightest smile, holding that crown on your head as you cried tears of joy. You smirked at it, cheeks blushing a bit.

“I look really good in this one, glad someone got a shot of it. So, you liked me this much?”

You’d turned to look at him now, giving him a confused face. Probably because Choso was sweating buckets. His hand shook behind him as he looked at you nervously, analyzing everything about you, any sign that you were scared or wanted to leave.

“I’d call it more than that.”

“So, why not-”

“Because I wanted things to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect for you.”

You gave him a nervous nod and turned back to the closet, pulling down a photo of you in your room back at the Kappa house.

“How’d you do it?”

“I…huh?”

“How’d you take this without getting caught?”

You looked back at him now, a serious look on your face that told him he better fuckin’ answer. What was he gonna do? There was no point in lying to you, everything was there for you to see.

“I learned you and the other girl’s schedules to make sure everyone was asleep.”

“So, what else ya got? Pictures can’t be the only thing.”

Choso pointed to the top shelf of the closet hesitantly. You brought down the bin carefully, sitting it down on his desk as you opened the lid.

“What the fuck, Choso? I was looking everywhere for this lipgloss!”

You’d begun rummaging through the bin, picking up things in remembrance of when you lost them. A couple of hair ties, eyeliner, lipstick napkins. You acted as if there was nothing wrong with this, and it was making it really hard for Choso to read you. His hand alternated between wanting to drop the knife or use it, heart pulsing frantically as you tried on old jewelry of yours. Satisfied with your findings, you moved back to the closet, pulling down the other box on the shelf. The one with his gifts for you.

“Wait! You’re not supposed to see that yet!”

“What is it?”

“It’s something really special... just please, you’re gonna ruin everything!”

You shot him a concerned look and rolled your eyes, walking back over to the bed to take a seat. 

“Answer a couple of questions for me, ‘kay?”

“I-I…”

“Question one, when did this start?”

“...Freshman year, rush week…the first time we met…”

You looked at him surprised. That meant he’d been stalking in love with you for almost four years now and never acted on it.

Just confiscate you, my teeth are in pain…

“Question two, what’s behind your back?”

“Nothing…important…”

Choso was shaking in fear, so much so, he dropped the fucking knife. You both watched it fall to the floor behind him, your mouth agape in shock as he frantically bent over to pick it up. He couldn’t tell what was more awkward, him dropping it on the floor or him picking it up and sitting it on his desk like nothing happened.

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT?”

“DAMAGE CONTROL.”

“FOR WHAT?”

“FOR WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!”

“YOU WERE GONNA STAB ME?”

“NO, I WAS JUST GONNA MAKE SURE YOU DIDN’T LEAVE!”

“ARE YOU FUCKIN’ CRAZY?”

“I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M IN LOVE!”

You scoffed and chuckled, stunned at his statement. Choso was bright red, on the verge of a panic attack. So many thoughts, so many mistakes, you knew almost everything now. All of the things he wanted to do for you, show you, give you, it all meant nothing now. Still, you sat there completely calm, aside from the fact the guy who just fucked your brains out was possibly about to kill you.

“Question three, this is an important one. Did you kill Megumi?”

“It was ruled a death from natural causes.”

“Yeah, tell that shit to someone else, did you kill him?”

Choso didn’t really care to hide things now, too far gone. Especially not how he got rid of that asshole you called a boyfriend.

“Yes, I did; and I don’t regret it.”

“How’d you do it?”

“I poisoned him with Ricin.”

“RICIN? HOW THE FU-”

“I put it inside of a box I told him was supposed to be for you.”

“Why?”

“Because he was a terrible boyfriend to you and you didn’t deserve to be with a guy who couldn’t even remember your birthday. Not to mention, he would’ve never died if he didn’t open what was meant for you, nosy fucker.”

“So, you were jealous? Most people would just beat the guy’s ass, you definitely knocked it out the park with that one.”

“Yes, he didn’t deserve to have you! He took you for granted when there was somebody much more fit to make you happy!”

“And that’s you?”

“Yes, just…please…don’t leave. Not before I make things perfect for you!”

You sat back on your hands, thinking a bit and bouncing your leg. Choso had said too much. Not only did he admit to killing Megumi, but now if you really did hate him, you could get him arrested too. Which meant you two would have to live apart. That was no longer an option.

“Even If I wanted to leave, I don’t think you’d actually give me the choice. Plus, it’s kinda…sweet?”

“Sweet?...”

“Yeah, never had someone like me this much, let alone kill my boyfriend to get closer to me.”

“So, you’re not mad?”

“No, not really. Well, maybe for planning to stab me. Not like I can make you untake the pics, but I’ll need some of my stuff back. I’m more impressed than anything. I’m not even gonna ask how you got the Ricin or half of this stuff.”

Choso didn’t know how to feel, or how to react. Why were you so calm about this? Why weren’t you scared? Why were you still here willingly? He couldn’t move at all, locked in place in fear as he watched you get into the bed and turn on another movie.

“You gonna come lay with me or just stand there?”

“I just…I-”

You sat straight up now, looking him dead in the eyes as his body quivered in reaction.

“What’s your deal, huh? Didn’t you kill a guy to be with me?”

“Yes, technically, I-”

“So, be with me, Choso! Unless you’re just like a murderer or whatever, that’s kinda fucked up.”

I'm gonna break you before I can say…

Choso was lost for fuckin’ words. You were laying on his chest now, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth as you finally relaxed. Everything he had done to get you with him had paid off. You were so perfect, lips pursed while you breathed up and snuggled your face into him. Just his sweet, sweet girl.

“So, the whole, um, thing…”

“What, you being fucking insane?”

“I’m not insane, just very dedicated to the woman I love!”

“Well, the way I see it, all my other boyfriends couldn’t stop looking at other girls, but you? You’re perfect, you’re already obsessed with me! Just don’t kill anyone else, ‘kay?” 

“I’ll try.”

I love you.

♱ the song used in this story is saccharine by jazmin bean. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

[onskepa]

Humans living with the Metkayina clan headcannons

Helloooooooo everyone! so I made a pole almost a week ago, and this is the winner! Sorry it took me a bit longer cause as I was seeing this being the lead winner, I had to thing of what would fit in the pandora world. So here is what I made! And as usual, if you like what you see and wish to use it for a fic or something of sort, you have my full permission but please do credit me. Any who, lets get on with it!

--------------------------------

First an foremost, I believe when creating their base on the island, water would be the main source for everything just like for the reef na'vi.

By source, I mean using water as the main power source for the base to be functioning, better than mining the earth and flora.

Their base I say would try to mimic or have it look similar to the home pods the metkayina have. More clear windows to let the light in, and not be so clunked and enclosed like the forest base.

The humans be living the same diet if not somewhat similar to the metkayina diet. Such as fish, herbs, and plants that are edible.

Swimming being the importance for the humans, even with their mask making it better to swim longer. Swim to do their part of the clan such as hunting, gathering, or making.

the communal dinners are the humans favorite part of the day, to sit and chat with the reef na'vi and become good friends.

Sign language is the best language to communicate between the na'vi and humans. Since I can guess speaking it is trickier than doing the sign language. Of course the humans would do their best to speak the language.

I think the Ilu would still approach the humans, obviously not being able to connect together but the ilu looks very friendly that is might not see humans as a threat and would approach them.

There for, I think the humans can ride the ilu's like the na'vi can, but have to hold on much tighter. Skimwing? Nope.

But the tulkun? perhaps. Still using the sign language to speak, the humans can communicate with the tulkun, while stilling trying to understand the sounds and language the tulkun speaks.

The tulkun themselves would be wary but have keen interest on the humans, maybe if one is lucky, a human and a tulkun becoming spirit siblings.

Tattoos. Oh yes. Aside from living like the reef na'vi and liveing among them. Tattoos would definitely be what ties the humans and na'vi together.

When bodning together, I feel as though the humans would tell their sea stories from Earth, like pirates', ocean gods and goddesses, sea creatures similar to the pandora sea.

The reef children would definitely seek the humans out, often go the base and bother them until they have the undividing attention.

The children would more than often raid the base and mess with the humans, wanting to see what they are doing and demand to play with them. While it be a tiny bit annoying, the humans would happily oblige and play with the na'vi children

The parents would be happy to see that their children arent alone and are being entertained while they go attend their duties.

No doubt love would bloom between a reef na'vi and a human, making the two beings become one as a whole.

If it wasnt for the war, I see the metkayina and other reef clans be more welcoming and humble to the humans if given the chance. Create friendships and special bonds between the two. Better than the forest na'vi.

that is all for today! I hoped you liked it! tell me what you guys think. If you are interested, I have more headcanons. Check them out if ya want!

[belphegorbillickin]

Could I request b,e,o,v,x for Floyd and Jade

Honestly, I feel like this is one of the only situations where the yandere version of the characters would actually be nicer and potentially even healthier, at least for Jade.

So consider yourself warned.

Bargain, would they just accept a break-up? Do they mope around or try to fix things? How would they attempt to get you back?

Honestly, I could easily see Floyd going either way. He's definitely not the type to start crying and clinging onto someone as they leave, but he's also definitely not the kind of guy that just lets someone leave either. So if Floyd's getting kind of bored or if he can tell you're just trying to play mind games with him? He'll let you go with zero fanfare. Or, if he's actually annoyed, he'll start rubbing it in and use every one of your closely guarded insecurities against you to ensure your faux tears turn real. Honestly, it's your fault shrimpy, for assuming he wouldn't notice just 'cause he's a little moody. Floyd is eerily perceptive, he just rarely utilizes it for anyone else's gain. Well, besides maybe Jade and occasionally Azul, if he compensates him enough.

But if he doesn't want you to go? You don't. Period, end of story, capiche? Try to leave and suddenly everyone you've ever cared about is either under contract, got the other twin's fist wrapped around their throat, literally and figuratively, and the trio already has several lists worth of blackmail ready to send to everyone's employers and landlords. Whether it's actual evidence, falsified, or both is up to you and your loved ones. So do be sure to make a wise decision, won't you?

Trying to get the police involved means getting the family involved, and while they don't have as much influence above sea level, it's still more than enough. You're in this for life, or y'know, until they get bored of you. Which isn't all that unlikely, although chances are if neither has gotten sick of you a few years in you're probably stuck for life. But who cares about the fine print when you're living in the moment? You're having fun, aren't you? Aren't you?

Jade is a bit trickier, as his behavior can change quite a bit depending on your own. Even in a relationship, you can never be quite sure how honest he's being. Although honestly, I can't see him being the kind of person to truly chase after someone, and he's certainly not the kind to beg or plead with any kind of sincerity. Well, romantically that is, he very much loves to chase people in the literal sense. Especially when they let out those delightfully high-pitched shrieks humans are just so full of. Regardless, chances are if you want to break up it's most likely because he's already started to lose interest, otherwise he would've already prevented that. Or tried his best to, anyway. But, in the rare case that you saw something you shouldn't have or you start to want to stray for whatever inane reason, I could see Jade pulling his usual schemes to get you back.

Though, there is an extremely high chance he's only winning you back just to gouge your heart out and ruin all of your future relationships instead. You do remember what he said back in Scarabia, right? "If I were betrayed by someone the way you were, I'd lash out with a torrent of unmitigated abuse to break them mentally, then bind them and drag them beneath the waves."

In the even smaller chance that he actually wants you back… Yeah, you're still getting much of the same. If anything he's even more likely to isolate you and carefully lash out at any support systems you may have. Not because he's under any real delusion that they caused this and you're just an innocent little guppy, but because Jade believes in an eye for eye and you've left him awfully blind. Or rather, Jade believes in an eye for an entire shattered skull, at the very least. Jade is aware that he's a rather complicated man. He adores chaos and unpredictability, but delights in squashing the weak and innocent under his boots, one inch at a time, controlling every aspect of their life. But don't you feel flattered to catch his ever wandering eye? You should you know, he can count the number of people who've entertained him this long on one single, spindly hand. Do take care to keep that up now, won't you?

Outrageous, how do they react when you get yourself into trouble? Do they bail you out or are you on your own? Do they expect you to get them out of trouble?

Honestly, both Floyd and Jade probably find it funny, or at least entertaining. So long as you're not in mortal danger of course. They'll give you the chance to get yourself out of whatever trouble you've gotten yourself into, just for the sheer joy of watching you struggle, but neither of them would pass up on the chance of getting you indebted to them. It'd be incredibly hard to get to the chance to actually save Jade, and honestly I think he'd find it very disconcerting at absolute best anyway, especially since that would typically mean neither Floyd nor Azul had been able to get there first. Jade wouldn't dare act ungrateful though. He'll immediately start paying you back, but he's putting at least twice as much effort into finding some way to gain control over you in turn.

Floyd would also be slightly uneasy at first, but mainly head over heels for his beloved shrimpy! Your spine will be shattered by his sheer adoration and excitement instead of the usual reasons. He'll still pay you back, but he's nowhere near as concerned about it as Jade is. Who still tries to get you under his control, just for his brother's sake instead of his own this time.

Emergency, what would they do if you needed them? Do they drop everything? Do they panic? What do they do if they need you?

Floyd may not seem like it at first, but he's very protective, territorial even, when it comes to his darling shrimpy. A dog bites you, tearing out a piece of your flesh? Well, you'd better find something to bite down on yourself, because Floyd is going to be gouging it out with his own needle-like teeth soon after. Don't whine too much, alright? Azul can fix that right up. But not before Floyd bites you first, for... reasons. Eelmer reasons. You may uh, also want to keep any Mr John Wicks away from the area depending on the circumstances and how bad your injuries are. …Okay, yeah. Realistically whatever animal that attacked you is getting beaten to death in a way that'd make his usual go-to of being gutting something alive with his claws or snapping a spine in two seem merciful. The owner is likely getting their ass handed to them as well, especially if they did nothing to intervene or even blamed you, regardless of how high up they think they are.

People living under the sea, especially in the deep, dark trenches where eelmer usually live, don't have the same luxuries as those living above it. If something, whether that be another predator or simply another unknown mer, gets too comfortable around their pod, then they must be destroyed for the good of the group. Open, bleeding wounds are a one-way ticket to a feeding frenzy, and although mer may not be anywhere near as protective of their young as most of the other sapient races, they would still rather kill any predators their children have no hope of surviving. Besides, what kind of mate would he be if he allowed you to bleed out? From something he didn't even do himself at that? Humans are awfully pathetic creatures, aren't they? Good thing you have him to protect you then, like any other good eel protected their beloved shrimp. (Even if it is very a bit reminiscent of a protection racket.)

Jade, for all his efforts to appear oh so controlled, is actually not all that dissimilar once his instincts kick in. You'd never know it just listening to his voice, but get him riled up enough and it'll be shockingly easy to mistake him for Floyd with the way he's wailing on your assaulter, one broken bone at a time. Though you do have to wonder if Floyd was ever this cruel as he somehow manages to avoid knocking them out, prolonging their suffering even further. But don't worry. Once he's done with that he'll ruin them financially, if they're even still alive that is, as well as everyone else they've ever loved as well. 

Vacation, Do they have vacation plans? Where are they taking you? For how long?

Floyd would love to take you back home! It's where he can laugh at all of your pathetic attempts to keep up with him as you beg to not be left behind. It sure does feel nice to be wanted, doesn't it? Where he could scare you by hiding in the kelp forests and dragging you into them, show you all of his favorite spots, the cute wildlife he imagined you cooing at, and show off his fighting abilities in a form even stronger than the one you're used to.  As much as Floyd loves to seek out new experiences, he does seem to be the most homesick and comfortable in his natural form out of the three of them. Besides, having you come along with him keeps things fresh and exciting! And mama's been dying to meet you! Don't be shy, she doesn't bite. Without good reason to, at least. Unlike her (two) son(s.) As for how long? Probably not too long, but as is everything with Floyd, it's rarely consistent. Even when he's already agreed to a specific date.

Jade, on the other hand, would love to bring you to the mountains with him. He's surprisingly patient with you, even if you keep stumbling and asking for breaks, so long as you're willing to let him ramble on about the wonders of nature and show at least a little excitement for him. He's maybe a little too excited, especially when you (un)knowingly bite into the love(mysterious mushroom)-packed lunch that he made just for you! But why wouldn't he be? Are you really so cruel as to accuse your poor "little" heartbroken boyfriend of having some ulterior motives? He would love to stay longer, (and see how long you could last out in the wilderness,) but alas, duty calls. Jade can rarely stay for longer than a weekend, but he'd love to leave Friday night and come back Monday morning if he could.

X-ray, what are some of their thoughts when with you that they don’t say aloud?

It'd be easier to list the things that Jade did say aloud, in front of or about you. Honestly, I don't think Jade would be all that into romance on his own at first. He'd probably think of your relationship as more of an experiment at first, in the psych study kind of way, until he finally started getting attached. Not that he would've just done it with anyone though, that would be a colossal waste of his time and effort.  No, you were still special to him in your own way even before that. Enough for Floyd to notice his interest in you and consider interfering even. For his brother's sake of course, what kind of an eel do you take him for?

Floyd on the other hand hardly ever keeps anything to himself, regardless of how that might make you feel. He absolutely loves the cute little faces and complaints you make when he says something a bit too crass. If he thinks you should be wearing something more flattering or acting a bit smarter? He'll tell you. If he thinks you look really good in public? He'll definitely tell you with zero care of who's watching. Or especially so, if it means offending someone like Riddle. Floyd does whatever his black little heart desires at the time, regardless of (most of) the consequences. The only real exceptions are things that Jade doesn't want you to know, (Azul's usually fair game though, especially if it gets him all huffy,) and classified details about the family business. That's not to say he can't be incredibly sneaky or plan things out however. Remember Bean Day? As Floyd himself said, Morays are cowards at heart. He won't go in for the kill until everything's set up just right, even if the waiting is killing him, and he's certainly not averse to bringing Jade or Azul into his plans. You may not even notice he's planned anything at all however, as Floyd's behavior is so erratic that all of his carefully laid plans and suddenly bossy behavior as he pulls you along don't stand out at all.  Your only hope of noticing when he's going to pull you into something particularly dangerous or permanent is the excited gleam in his eyes, and how much of his undivided attention he's been giving you for hours on end. So yeah... Good luck with that.

Honestly, I've just never really abided by the popular fanon characterizations.

I wasn't active in the fandom at all until book three had been released on the English app, and still rarely sought out anything until after book 4, so seeing them being characterized the way they are on tumblr left me feeling like I had read something completely different.

At least one member of the octatrio is always in my top 3 specifically because they were some of the only "truly evil, unrepentant villains" in TWST.

Especially because I only really got into TWST when I was feeling frustrated about OBM! losing almost all of it's edge and seeing nothing but fluff & lighthearted humor 24/7.

[tippenfunkaport]

Bow's Character Arc

There was a discussion on Twitter from people who were confused about Bow’s character arc and whether he had one (he very much does, and it’s actually one of the clearest / most spelled out in the entire show!). To help anyone experiencing that confusion and because it’s never a bad idea to understand how character arcs work if you want to be a writer/storyteller, I might as well break Bow’s character arc down for anyone who might find it helpful.

Buckle in, it's nerd time!

At the most basic, a character arc is a change (usually growth) a character goes through over the course of a story. Usually good (positive change arc) but sometimes bad (negative change arc). It’s very often a reversal aka the character is often in the exact opposite state by the end of the story than how they start it out. It can be trickier to follow in an ensemble story like SPOP because there are a lot of characters with parallel story lines going on and multiple arcs colliding in different ways, but She-Ra does a really good job of giving each of the four leads arcs (with Catradora as the main leads, Glimbow as the secondary) near equal time.

Yes, including Bow.

What I think throws people about Bow’s arc is it’s based on hypocrisy.

Meaning…

He encourages his friends to talk it out and share their feelings… while hiding his own feelings from his dads and repressing his frustrations with having to be the middle man between Adora and Glimmer (Season 4)

He declares that average people (such as the kitchen staff at Dryl) don’t need the princesses and are just as capable of fighting the Horde themselves… while he believes himself and his abilities inferior to Princess Entrapta’s

He reminds the others (esp Adora) about the need to accept help… while refusing any help for himself (think about “Don't worry about me. I'm the one who worries about you. Can we go back to that? Please?” in Pulse through to that moment when he agrees to let Glimmer take him to check on his dads in Return to the Fright Zone and literally leans on her)

I think a funny way to sum up his character issue is: Not me, though.

This arc progresses across all five season as he gradually changes. He starts the series out repressing his feelings from both his family and friends while doubting his abilities and refusing to ask for help (he IS Adora’s mirror, after all!). Over the course of the series he learns to express his feelings instead of bottling them up (The Beacon > Reunion > really all of Season 4 but it comes to head starting with Boys Night Out through Beast Island > Stranded), gains more confidence in his tech skills (The Frozen Forest > Signals > Flutterina > Mer-Mysteries > Corridors), and starts to learn to ask for help (The Beacon > Pulse > Return to the Fright Zone).

Which of course all culminates in The Heart Parts 1 and 2 where he finally wraps up all threads at once by

a) asking Scorpia to trust him (putting faith in someone else to help)

b) completing Entrapta’s program to unchip everyone (proving he IS as good a scientist as she is)

c) giving the speech to everyone on Etheria rousing the common people to fight Prime (average people can make a difference… which he now fully believes that includes him).

And while you can make the argument that confessing to Glimmer is part of his arc to share his feelings, the fact is that he completes a full character arc without ever behind reduced to just someone’s love interest because none of his character growth is tied to his romantic relationship at all (which was what the original tweet claimed). It's all his inner journey to have faith in himself and his abilities and how they relate to his friends and loved ones.

And thus the guy who starts the series as “only one around here who’s not a princess” with doubt in his tech abilities ends the series as confident Tech Master and future King of the regular people he sought to inspire, which is about as textbook a reversal as you can get.

Does it come out of nowhere?

His character arc progresses and takes significant focus in the following episodes….

S1:E6 System Failure

S1:E10 The Beacon

S2:E1 The Frozen Forest

S2:E3 Signals

S2:E7 Reunion

S4:E3 Flutterina

S4:E4 Pulse

S4:E7 Mer-Mysteries

S4:E8 Boys Night Out

S4:E10 Fractures

S4:E11 Beast Island

S5:E3 Corridors

S5:E4 Stranded

S5:E9 An Ill Wind

S5:E10 Return to the Fright Zone

S5:E12 Heart Part 1

S5:E13 Heart Part 2

That’s 17 episodes out of 52 which means his character development gets approximately 32% of the focus of the entire show… which for an ensemble cast like this where he’s one of four leads is just about dead on as it's over a quarter of the episodes.

That's a significant chunk of screentime with multiple episodes devoted specifically to his character journey.

Is his journey as flashy and action sequence-y as what Adora, Catra and Glimmer get? No, but it's a) a show marketed to girls so it makes sense they get the more cinematic scenes and b) his arc is more emotional and thus didn't need to hinge on big action like theirs did. Though considering the culmination of his arc is him as a 100 foot tall hologram speaking to the entire planet, I personally feel like that was pretty hard to miss.

If you look at all of this and still want to say that Bow did nothing or had no character arc, I think the thing to ask yourself is: why is it so important to you to discount the accomplishments and character growth of this character specifically?

In conclusion, this is the face Bow makes when he spent five season growing, changing and kicking butt as Tech Master and Voice of Reason and you say he did "literally nothing"...

[blushweddinggowns]

“Just hold still…and done!” Nancy grinned as she capped the eyeliner. She brushed a lock of hair out of his face before declaring, “You’re officially stage-ready.”

Eddie turned to look at himself in the mirror, instantly pleased with what he saw. Steve always said that his big-ass Bambi eyes were his best feature, and the eyeliner really was making them pop. Add that with the tight jeans, the leather jacket, and the combat boots, and Eddie actually looked like he belonged on a stage. 

He looked good, but he only cared so much about his own thoughts, “You think Steve will like it?”

Nancy rolled her eyes, “Like you have to ask. We’ll be lucky if he doesn’t have a heart attack.”

Eddie grinned at that. He could only hope that his reaction would be that good, “And it will last all night?”

“At least for 12 hours,” She reassured, “I used the good stuff. This eyeliner lasted on my mom for a fifteen-hour plane ride once, with layovers. You’re ready.”

Eddie nodded. That was basically equivalent to spending a wild night with Steve, the odds were in his favor. He reached over to give Nancy a one-armed hug, taking the time to hover for a second before she gave him a subtle nod. 

“God, you’re such a lifesaver,” Eddie sighed as he squeezed her to his side, “You sure you don’t want to come?”

Nancy snorted, “Are you kidding me? My dad would ground me for the next five years if I got caught. And you know I love you guys but I can barely deal with Steve gushing over you on a normal day, let alone one where you actually look hot.”

“Awwww, you think I’m hot?” Eddie cooed, laughing at the way it made her cringe.

She was already gathering everything back up into her makeup bag, trying and failing to hide her little smile, “Don’t push it.”

But he did, of course he did, the whole way back to the Wheeler house, earning himself a sharp pinch to his arm more than once. He dropped her off at home, promising that they would call her first thing in the morning to say how it went. Then he picked up his boys and the four of them were off, all of them excited out of their minds. 

Eddie had never imagined that he would be playing on a real stage, in a real city. It had been a silly little radio contest for a charity event, first five callers got the privilege to audition to be a one-time opener for Metallica, a band that Eddie adored but the rest of the world hadn’t seemed to have caught on to yet. It was a one-time thing, paired with some great luck for the station to catch them for a single night before their next album release. But still, it was a big deal, especially for people like them that had less than zero connections. Steve was the one who insisted that they call in. Eddie had just never thought that they would have actually won. 

But they had, and the prize was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet a band that Eddie just knew was going to be huge one day. Plus, free hotel rooms for the weekend? What more could a guy ask for? 

It was a fun drive, of course it was. You couldn’t get Eddie, Freak, Gareth, and Jeff in a room together without it being a blast. The only problem was that he already missed Steve. Which was, admittedly, stupid as fuck considering that he’d see him in a matter of hours. He just hated that he had to sneak out for this. Or more aptly, he hated that his parents forced him to sneak out for this. But they had a good plan here. 

He’d lie and say he was going to bed early to prepare some bullshit elaborate date for Nancy, one that would involve him being gone for all of Saturday. He’d sneak out his window by seven, drive the two hours to be there just in time for the curtains opening at nine-thirty. Then they’d spend the night together like they had been every night for years, his parents none the wiser.

The shitheads. 

Saturday night and Sunday would be a little trickier, but Steve was coasting off the fact that his parents usually forgot to say goodbye when they left for a trip. They had a red-eye flight at 3 am, and Nancy was already prepped to make a fake phone call to ask if he could stay for dinner Saturday. With any luck, they would forget about him entirely, both of them too tired to think about the fact that they wouldn't have seen their son for nearly two days. The last bit was more of a gamble, but Steve wasn’t about to let his parents' wrath ruin his shot at a romantic and paid-for weekend with his boyfriend. Besides, when it came to Nancy, his mom basically never questioned anything. Hell, she was basically on the edge of planning their fucking wedding at this point, beyond ecstatic that Steve had finally gotten himself a permanent girlfriend. 

God, that girl really was a lifesaver. Eddie was almost surprised at just how much he liked her, and not even because she was beyond useful when it came to hiding their relationship. She was just…kind of cool? He didn’t know how else to describe it, but her whole gun-toting, no-nonsense, and slightly bitchy persona was really doing it for him. Honestly, on a bad day, Eddie was slightly afraid of her, but he kind of liked that too. The fact that she could go from scarily intense to sarcastically hilarious just equated to a winning personality in his book. And that wasn’t even counting how happy she made Steve, and vice versa. 

Sometimes he’d wander into the room that they were supposed to be studying in, only to find the two of them completely off the rails either talking about their shared passion for musicals, high school gossip, or more often than not, Steve Harrington approved seduction methods for her to try out on Jonathan Beyers. Or Tom Cruise, depending on the timing. 

They wouldn’t even notice that he walked in most of the time, too caught up in laughing with each other. Maybe it was weird, but sometimes Eddie would just watch them for a minute. Steve would be all giggly and smiling and adorable, and it just made Eddie feel warm. Hell, even seeing Nancy happy was enough to make him smile most days, the girl deserved it after everything she’d been through last year. She was a good person and a good friend. And Eddie was going to get her so many corny Indy souvenirs for covering their asses tonight. 

They were all nervous as hell when they finally got there, but actually getting to meet the band while they were setting up went surprisingly well. Though that mostly had to do with the fact that they had prepared for it. They had a fool-proof system of aggressively stepping on each other’s feet when one got a bit too fangirly. And though it left all four with some bruises, it did manage to stop Gareth from telling James Hetfield that he would totally marry him if he was a chick. They made a good impression, Eddie was pretty damn sure of it considering they offered free tickets for their next tour. 

It was fun, even if he was still nervous as all hell when it was their time to play. He had never felt this anxious walking out on stage before. Maybe that had to do with the fact that it was a real stage, but still. He wasn’t the type to be nervous about performing at all, whether that be at the Hideout or hopping on lunch tables for an impassioned speech. 

He swallowed as he looked out into the crowd, heart pounding in his chest as he realized just how many people were there. It was a far cry from the Hideout where they would be lucky to get ten people to actually notice when they were finished. But this had to be a hundred plus. Eddie’s eyes zeroed into the front row, scanning it for the one thing that could calm him down. It didn’t take long to spot him. 

There he was, smack dab in the middle of the row, completely out of place with his adorable pink polo. He was leaning against the railing, hearts in his eyes as he waved up at him. Eddie grinned, his nerves disappearing the second Steve blew him a kiss. Just the sight of him was enough to bring Eddie back down to earth.

He stepped up to the mic, guitar in hand, and started to sing.

Excerpt from chapter 14 of this fic

[void-ink-studios]

Lost but Loved, Forever and Always

Don't be alarmed by the title, no one dies in this fic.

I wanted to do this for quite a while. Prismo has been constantly comforting Scarab. It's time for Scarab to return the favor. We're talking about Jake tonight.

And, this is my own catharsis. I've had more death and health scares in my close family in the past 3 years than I have my entire life. So... this is to them, I guess.

So... yeah. Enjoy you guys.

TW: Suicidal Ideation and Alcohol Abuse

Word Count: 2,700

Prismo was missing.

This was a new worry for Scarab. He was usually the one to disappear into the Time Room's lower chambers, usually to recuperate his aching shoulders.

But it was Prismo missing today. Scarab hadn't seen the Wishmaster nearly all day, not since the one wish maker wandered in. Even then, Scarab's companion seemed very... withdrawn. Quieter than he'd ever seen him, at least not since before Fionna and Cake.

Prismo's energy had been draining out of his spirit over the past few days. He started going quiet at random intervals, with seemingly no trigger.

Scarab was fretting.

He was not used to fretting. Prismo always seemed... untouchable, emotionally speaking. Unflappable in the face of it all, always a lazy sort of happiness radiating off of him. But... this was not anything the beetle was used to.

He wondered if he should search for Prismo... The Wishmaster had gone looking for him more than once, he should return the favor. But what if he didn't want to be found?

Hmm...

Maybe he'd go find Prismo, then back off if he wasn't wanted. Yes, that sounded like a decent plan.

He closed off to entrances to the Time Room for now and scuttled down into the basement.

Okay, where to look... Scarab's first thought was the pickle room, maybe he was just working on a new recipe? It wouldn't explain the melancholy, but it was a start.

So, to the pickle room Scarab wandered. He idly thought about how well he knew his way around this section of the Time Room now. Oh, how himself from a year ago would have cringed...

Okay, pickle room is empty. No evidence of it being used.

Come on Scarab, you're an Auditor. You've tracked down things that could teleport across the multiverse. You can find one messy Wishmaster who can't leave the Time Room.

He took another look around. There had to be something, anything in here...

Wait, there!

There was a missing jar from the shelf, a trail of brine on the floor. Bingo.

Scarab followed the trail, the faint smell of alcohol slowly seeping into the air. Or, maybe it was stronger, but he couldn't tell. Either way it was... concerning.

"Prismo...?"

Hmm...

He doesn't recall coming this way before. The walls of the Time Room seemed to be coming more unstable the further he searched. Walls with random notches in them, the floor becoming trickier to navigate, drop offs appearing suddenly, walls sliding into each other.

Wait a moment...

Wait, this was familiar. This was where the chase for the Crossovers ended in the Time Room.

Which means...

Scarab found himself staring at Prismo. Both forms.

Prismo, the Wishmaster, staring down numbly at Prismo, the Dreamer.

"...Prismo...?"

Prismo looked terrible, for lack of a better word. He looked tired. Scarab wasn't sure how a dream could look tired, and yet, here he was. He looked... empty. Just staring blankly at his own body, slowly drifting up to Scarab. And, even with his own crippled sense of smell, Scarab was smacked in the face by the harsh smell of alcohol and vinegar. There was a half tipped over pickle jar in the corner.

"...hey..." he murmured. Just like his gaze, his voice was... empty. He said nothing else, drifting his gaze back to his sleeping body. He took a silent swig from a bottle.

"Uhm... What are you doing down here...?"

"...Thinking."

Scarab made a few tentative steps closer to his partner.

"What about?"

Prismo remained silent.

"Prismo...?"

"...You... wouldn't get it."

"I wouldn't?"

"You don't... talk to people. Talk to mortals." His voice sounded wobbling, his voice trailing up and down. Drunk. Prismo was drunk.

Scarab had never seen the Wishmaster... drunk. Tipsy on Star Punch. Maybe a bit too loud and cuddly after a game night with the guys. But this was just... sad.

"You're right, I don't talk to mortals. But that wasn't what I was asking. I was asking what you were thinking about."

Prismo didn't look up. It was honestly making Scarab nervous.

"...You ever think about how long immortality is...? Like... compared to the shorts that pass by upstairs everyday?"

Scarab blinked, pondering.

"I do, sometimes. It's... inevitable with beings like us."

"Hmm... Beings like us..." Prismo sighed blinking tiredly. "They're like... like a blink... Like a spark and then they're gone..."

"I suppose..."

"...Why am I still... here, Scarab? Like... I'm what, hundreds of thousands of years old? I think that's too long, don't you? I died at some point... I sometimes... wonder if I should've stayed that way."

Scarab felt his chest seize, suddenly also very fixated on Prismo's sleeping body. He... he wouldn't right...?

"I... I'm thankful that you are still here, Prismo... More so than you might think..."

"Hmm..."

Prismo took another drink.

"...I'm only alive because of a mortal..."

"Really now...?"

"Yeah. It was... well, super off the books. Wasn't even pinged by the Organizer... Not supposed to get involved with mortals and all that junk... But... well, he was one of my best friends... and... well, that's all I've got left of him."

Scarab gave him a confused look, approaching Prismo's body. It was unnerving, seeing the warm, soft old man the beetle loved so fondly being so still and silent... Wait, was that... fur?

Yes, right there, at the edges of the beard and hair were little whisps of yellow dog fur.

"What on Glob...?"

"Yeah... I got killed, and he helped me with my backup plan. Long story. Complicated. But, a copy of him became... me. It's his dream and memory of me keeping me alive. And... well, the original passed away. A while ago. And... Well, this is all I have left of him. Just... staring at him, looking like me, but that's not even really me..."

Prismo was spiraling. Scarab could hear it in his voice, he was spiraling.

"Prismo-"

"And what was it for? He's... He's stuck here or he's dead or he's a monster or whatever else, and for what? For... me? For everybody's pal Prismo. What a joke."

"Love, what-"

"I got nothing, Scarab. I've tried to have something. But... what do I have to show for it? The banjo? Fucking pickles? A hot tub? I got nothing."

"Prismo" Scarab hissed, sternly, gripping his upper arm, stopping Prismo's spiral.

"Prismo... how long have you... thought about this?"

"...I dunno, man. It comes and goes again..."

"Prismo. You know I, and many others, would be... heartbroken if you disappeared. Many were the first time. Even when I had my grudge, I felt... empty when you vanished."

"I... I know, I guess... Maybe that's why I haven't... done anything. Not yet, at least..."

Scarab warbled, nudging his head against Prismo's shoulder.

"...I might not know much about your... mortal friend... but I don't think he'd want you... wallowing like this."

"Oh, what do you know" Prismo snapped, startling Scarab. "You don't know him! You don't know how this feels!" His eyes flashed purple, a black color pulsing through his whole body before returning to normal.

Scarab took a few frightened steps back, looking up at the Wishmaster with wide, uncertain eyes.

Prismo's eyes sparked with immediate regret. He looked at the bottle, then back to Scarab. He groaned in frustration, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I just... I don't know how to be when I'm like this... I've... I've never felt like this before Jake... I don't know man..."

Scarab chirped out a soft sigh, feeling emboldened to come closer. "...It is not exact, but... I do know a bit of what you're feeling, Prismo..."

"...You do?"

"Mhm. So. How about this. You tell me about this... Jake. And I'll tell you about Cricket. We'll mourn together."

Prismo seemed to be considering.

"...Can we... stay here with him...?"

"If that's what you'd like, love. But let's not loom over him, okay?" Scarab gently tugged Prismo's arm. And he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when the Wishmaster allowed to be tugged. The beetle retireved the pickle jar, and the two sat down, leaning against each other.

"So... Jake?"

"Yeah... Jake the Dog."

"...How'd you two meet?"

"A wish. His brother, Finn, they were chasing their universe's version of the Lich into my Time Room. The Lich wished for the end of all life, and I granted it. Finn wished for the Lich to have never existed. They both got warped to their new realities. And then there was Jake..."

Scarab tilted his head. He'd heard of the Lich. One of those beings he'd have liked to take in, but couldn't. Vital to reality and all that nonsense. He didn't know Prismo met him before the incident with the Citadel.

"Jake... Well, I think he was in shock or something. He... seemed confused. Didn't know what to do, what to wish for. He nearly wished for a sandwich, but I talked him out of it. Like, I could just make a sandwich, no need to waste your one and only wish on it. So... we just hung out. We watched Finn's wish altered reality for a while, and we talked. Mortals never really... stick around long enough to talk. To know me as anything other than 'Almighty Prismo.' He chilled with Cosmic Owl and me. He had some of my pickles, said they reminded him of his dad. And I just... couldn't stop smiling. Some... some human part of me hoped he'd never make a wish, just so he could stay..."

Scarab could hear Prismo's voice shaking, so he pressed his head against his upper arm and nuzzled, chirping quietly.

"But... Something in Finn's wish reality started going wrong... He started to panic. I... I definitely broke protocol on this but I talked him through his wish. The wish that would make things go back to somewhat normal, and he was gone. I sent him some pickles, invited him back, but... Well, I never thought he would. No one just comes back to the Time Room, not unless you're a god. He got his wish, why would he want to come back? But... he did. Again. And again. And again and again."

Scarab wrapped around Prismo's arm, nuzzling softly as the Wishmaster sounded on the verge of weeping.

"He became one of my best friends. He was... something special. He'd level with me like a person. He didn't have this... weird, distant respect that everyone first comes at me with. He treated me like a person and... well, that was special to me. More so than I ever really noticed... not until he was gone for good.

"When the Lich killed my human body, Jake was the one who volunteered to help bring me back. That's him, sleeping in the bed. It's him keeping me alive. And... I don't know, I don't know how I could possibly repay him for that... I can't just bring him back to life, he belongs to Death now... and I don't think he'd want it. He's on the highest Deathworld, and he deserves to be there. I'm not gonna take him away from paradise just for my sake..."

Prismo trailed off. Scarab assumed he was done talking now, as he gently massaged the Wishmaster's arm.

"Thank you for telling me, Prismo. He does sound special. And I'm sorry you have lost that."

"...I can't talk to the others about it... They'd just say I was stupid. It is stupid, getting that attached to a mortal like that. So... you're the first person I've told, I guess."

"Is this... Finn still around?"

"I think so... Humans live a lot longer than dogs. I see him on the screen wall every once in a while."

"Have you thought to talk to him? I'm certain he's mourning Jake just the same as you. It might be nice to share memories of him."

"I dunno... I don't know if my heart could take it if I got attached to Finn..."

"Hmm... That's understandable, I suppose..." He reached up, gently rubbing away the tears from Prismo's cheek, nuzzling it lightly, even trying his best to kiss it.

"So... Who's Cricket?"

Scarab hummed. Time to hold his end of the deal, yeah?

"Well... My situation with Cricket doesn't align exactly with yours... I knew Cricket from when I was still mortal, rather than meeting them in the middle of eternity. But... well, they were my best friend."

Prismo's eyes widened at that.

"Cricket and I were neighbors, in the mounds. You tend to bond pretty quickly with those burrows around you, but Cricket was my first and best friend when we emerged. They farmed mushrooms while I patrolled. Our routines would have us pass by each other a few times a day, and we'd both get into heaps of trouble for slacking off to chat."

Scarab chuckled at the memory, trying to picture Cricket's face... Glob it's been so long...

"I told them everything. We told each other everything. What we thought about our other friends, who we thought we fancied, what might've been up in the stars, all of it. Thinking back, they actually remind me of you, in a lot of ways. They had this... magnetism about them, it made it easy to talk to them, they were charming and relaxed in ways I wasn't. I... I suspect, if my life turned out simpler, we could've been mates."

Prismo gulped at that, leaning down to listen.

"But... well, then I saw the mouth in the void. They helped me research, they helped me train, they helped me get that audience with the Pantheon. They gave me a crushing hug when I went to go fight. And they were the last I spoke to when I ascended. I promised I'd come back for them someday..."

Scarab rubbed his mandibles together, hesitating.

"I... I've said I haven't seen my home since then. But... that was a bit of a lie. I did go back, once. But... I hadn't realized how much time had passed between me leaving and coming home. What felt like, maybe 5 years to me was... almost 70 for them. Eternity messes with your sense of time like that. I never saw Cricket again. It's been so long; I feel guilty I can't clearly remember their face... I remember a few things, though... they had a deep blue shell, their antenna were long and curled, they laughed loud enough to get neighbors to complain about our late nights... But I can't remember their face. Not clearly anyway."

Scarab sighed, leaning into Prismo's open arm.

"...Does it ever get easier" Prismo whispered. "Knowing you've lose someone that important...?"

"...I'm not sure if easier is the right word... It never really stops hurting, when you think about it. But... it becomes a part of you. A part that prickles and catches you off guard sometimes, but a part of you none the less. You eventually evolve the hurt. The hurt mixes with everything else you felt about them. The hurt of the loss blurs together with the warmth of memories."

"Oh..."

There was a long silence, as Prismo looked between the body sleeping on the pedestal, and the drink in his hand. He gently set it down.

"...I might not know much about Jake. But I can tell he was special. It's okay to feel that hurt when you lose someone special. But... don't let it drown the warmth you felt with them. Remember them. The hurt just... tells you how much they were loved."

Scarab felt the tingle of light as Prismo wrapped around him completely. He could feel the Wishmaster's chest struggling to heave. The beetle shushed him softly, petting his talons against what he could reach.

"...One second" Scarab whispered. He conjured both himself and Prismo a small glass of Star Punch. He picked his up. "A toast. To Jake."

Prismo blinked wetly, a shaky hand reaching for his glass. "To Jake. And to Cricket."

"To Jake and Cricket. Lost, but loved, forever and always."

The two clinked glasses and took their drink.

Scarab knew talking about this would bubble up old emotions. That cloyingly harsh coldness, fighting with an aching warmth. Thinking too long about his home did that, sometimes.

But, it was worth it. Worth it to remember his friend. Worth it to bring some comfort to his partner. Worth it to bring some light onto the peacefully sleeping body across the room.

Lost, but loved.

Forever and always.

[tleeaves]

The Fictional Crush Line-Up For 2023 and Beyond

Was going to do this sooner (as in a review on the year based on the new or resurfaced interests I picked up, with aforementioned fictional crushes along the way), but I wanted to collect art for them all too and then I also had to try and remember them all. But here we are. If I'm missing any, I'll either have to edit and or reblog to include them.

See if you can spot any common threads (it may get trickier as the list goes on, just be warned). This goes almost in chronological order. But order does not in any way reflect my level of brainrot and obsession with each.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE FRAGILE THREADS OF POWER, BALDUR'S GATE III, AND ARCANE: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS (SPECIFICALLY REGARDING VIKTOR).

Consider yourself warned.

Victor Vale (Vicious by V.E. Schwab)

Victor and his revenge story are kind of responsible for kick-starting my journey of self-rediscovery these past twelve months, in a strange and roundabout way. He made me want to stick up for myself and what I wanted out of life. Sure, he's extremely morally grey in a concerning way, and yeah, we don't normally encourage revenge, but I found him a comfort at a difficult time. But also, I could totally fix him (no one can and it's no one's responsibility, yet the sentiment is still there). I'm not usually one for blonds (I am a liar) but his cold aesthetic is oddly pleasing. There's nothing I understand more than an awe that rots into resentment and envy while maintaining the same thread of fascination with someone. "Victor Vale was not a fucking sidekick" is just a, mwah, chef's kiss line. Honestly, I have less of a crush on this guy, more of an understanding that I appreciate. Also, I haven't even mentioned the chronic pain implications and canon uses of his powers. But that might be for another time.

Viktor (Arcane: League of Legends)

Another Viktor with chronic illness themes and whose (in LoL lore) regard for a partner in science goes sour over time as they pursue different objectives (not seen in the Netflix series yet, of course, it's too early for glorious evolution). This guy always comes back to rot in my brain, and I cannot wait for season 2 later this year to see what comes of his arc. I'm planning a fanfic involving him, Jayce, and maybe/sort of Jinx, based on a dream I had months ago but still have swirling in the soup that is my consciousness. There is something so pretty about this guy. If I was more confident in my sketching abilities, he'd end up being my muse way too often. Viktor's character to me is kind of a tragedy personified, and I love a good tragedy. Oh, and his voice actor?? Amazing. There's some debate over how authentic he sounds to Eastern Europeans, but the accent aside still, he sounds sooo good. I want to sit in on a lecture where he speaks about literally anything for two hours.

Kell Maresh (A Darker Shade of Magic; The Fragile Threads of Power by V.E. Schwab)

Usually, I don't talk about Kell because of how silly I feel like my crush on him is. I identify with Delilah "Lila" Bard throughout ADSOM and even Threads, so I hate further mentioning how much I actually think about Kell because I'd have to fist fight anyone who said I only relate to her because of Kell when that's not the truth. And yet, there's still enough differences between Lila and I for me to be like "if I had to pick a woman in the Schwabverse..." But also, MAYBE I JUST THINK KELL IS GORGEOUS, OKAY? 🫣 Maybe I like that he starts as a somewhat naive prince who's had things both easy and rough in life (wanting to be loved by the only family you know and not feel like you're only there to protect your adoptive brother whom your parents tried to tell you both was not actually your brother and you should stop treating each other as such is VALID, argue with the wall, also he's the bodyguard and eternal worrier (yes, worrying) for Rhy and he's taken lives way too young). Maybe I like that he fell first and fell hard for Lila (okay, but if we're getting into the nitty-gritty, she did flirt with him first multiple times, but she would never admit to actual feelings), that he's the male love interest without reservations for once, leaving it up to Lila and whether she's open to love for once in a story. And yeah, okay, maybe I like that he's actually some kind of a prince charming, the sort you always secretly dream about, you know? Shut up. I like his stupid magic coat too. He's clever, but occasionally actually unbelievably dumb, he's funny and witty yet he knows when to keep his mouth shut (and is usually the one hauling others out of a scrap because of their own smart mouths), he cares too much about his family, AND DID I MENTION HE ALSO HAS CHRONIC ILLNESS THEMES THAT BROKE MY DAMN CHRONICALLY ILL AND IN PAIN HEART? I've said too much already, but there. He's a guy.

Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man: Across The SpiderVerse)

This is the one my sister teases me most about because she doesn't get it. To be honest with you all, even I don't know how to explain it. But this guy. Miguel. There is something about him that I just abdkjdjsdv, you know? Is it the tragedy? The moral greyness? The fangs? His insane height? Just his fanon self? The fucking muscles?? I don't know. But I will defend how interesting he is as an antagonist until the cows come home.

Elliott (Stardew Valley)

Oh... boy. Sometimes, I realise I have a type. It's pretty guys who are hopeless romantics that write novels and poetry. Maybe it's just this one guy. But wow, it works on me. I'm writing a fanfic about him because I need to. There's only 400-odd words to it so far. It was not long after I met him in the game that I decided I had to wife him up. I planted that pomegranate tree early, because it's his favourite fruit for those who don't know, and he loves receiving them as a gift. I got ducks so I could give him their stray feathers. I learned how and when to find lobsters and catch crabs because he loves those too. If I'm out of gifts, I go get a coffee for him because every writer needs their sustenance. Literally, by Spring of Year 2, we were married, and I wondered if perhaps I might have been a little too single-mindedly pursuing every one of those cut scenes when I should have been taking it a bit slower and making it less of a mission. Don't know what to tell you, I went crazy. I fully believe in the headcanon that he gets up early just to go through his haircare routine. Is he pretentious? Maybe. Does he lay it on a little too thick that he's scared of dying alone? Well, okay, yes. Does it bother me that as a househusband he doesn't help out more on the farm? Occasionally. But there's also no one else I'd rather be with (and I developed a sprinkler system specifically so there was less work for me anyway and so now I don't mind at all when he isn't helping). And I can't believe my sister ever introduced me to Stardew Valley because I am now mentally ill about a videogame character made of pixels. Yes, I make wine just for him too. Hush. I spoil him daily now that we're married. Our first child is a son named Ernest. I was debating between Ernest and Edgar, and honestly, I think I should have gone with the latter, but I chose the former. All the dialogue from Elliott is so frickin' cute.

Astarion Ancunín (Baldur's Gate III)

And do you know what the worst part about this one is? I still haven't actually played Baldur's Gate III. I know, I KNOW. A crime. I'm working on it. But you best believe I've watched every cutscene I can, every scrap of gameplay dialogue, all the choices, the different endings you can get with him (Ascended breaks my heart every time -- I don't care how hot he is, it's not what he would have wanted, he doesn't love you like he used to anymore, and he's not as happy as he could be), and I've listened to all the interviews with Neil Newbon and the writer for Astarion about him. This fruity traumatised vampire haunts me. I want to hold him gently and caress his face and tell him he's beautiful and what he looks like to me since he hasn't seen his reflection in centuries and I want to make sure he knows he's loved. I want him to bite me and drink my blood too, but that's not as important. Does it weird me out how much he reminds me of Prince Charming from the Shrek franchise and Preminger from Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper and then aesthetically Asra from The Arcana: A Mystic Romance? Yes. But Astarion's also his own character and I'm in love with his smile and goofy lines.

Settrigh "Sett" (Heartsteel; League of Legends)

This... might be the lowest point, actually 💀 My sister would agree. Because it's not enough to crush on book characters, show characters, and videogame characters -- while technically this guy is a videogame character and was part of League of Legends waaay before the music video, it was the PARANOIA music video that got me. So, even fictional characters made/involved in music videos are not safe from my heart. Because, as I understand it, OG Sett is a bit different from Heartsteel Sett, and I've found I usually prefer reading about the interpretation of the latter in fanfic more than the former. I mean, I still really, really enjoy fanfics where he's The Big Boss of the pits, and or his other background/lore is included, but I've read some where his old personality is a bit Yikes. The golden retriever energy is my favourite era of his if we can call it that (I still headcanon him as a part fox Vastayan, you can't convince me otherwise so go argue with someone else about it, not me). And honestly, I think I might have read more fics involving Sett in 2023 than I did any of the other characters on this list. Which is saying something since he's not as popular as a few of them. He's a pretty guy and I wish to bite him. Lovingly.

Mizu (Blue Eye Samurai)

Oh woman. Mizu is... is... she's basically my wife. I know she's all our wife, but like just let me dream a little here. As soon as I finished the series, I was opening up Tumblr, Pinterest, and AO3, my holy trinity of fandom. My platonic wife was sending me TikToks of our shared fictional wife. Mizu can wind up non-binary, male, female, I honestly do not mind because I am in love with any version she is/becomes (for now, I interpret her as a woman in disguise, but if that changes, I'll absolutely change how I refer to Mizu). She is a tragedy wrapped up in revenge because of a rotten love and unfortunate parentage and time period. I want her as much as I want to be her. Also? I go insane over her little smiles and smirks. I LOVE when we got to hear her laugh, even if it was mostly the flashbacks (do not mention Mikio near me; if he wasn't already dead, I would kill him). Also, who doesn't hate their British/white half, ahaha, oh my god, I know mixed ethnicity is a hot topic for people who do not want POC whitewashed in media, and I fully understand that, but I do appreciate seeing parts of myself in mixed characters like the conflict between trying to be more like one side than another. I'll also admit it: she does indeed look hot covered in blood and carrying a sword. I'll see myself out the door. I've been wanting to write a fanfic about her but I'm still stewing over ideas. Mizu is also probably my first truly major crush on a fictional woman (other than my childhood crush on Helga Sinclair from Atlantis: The Lost Empire). Vi from Arcane comes pretty close, but I see too much of myself in her that it gets weird.

We'll do some honourable mentions for characters from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim since I've gotten into that again.

Brynjolf, Hadvar, and Nazir, I wish I could mod my gameplay so I could marry you. The developers hated their men-loving gamers (I know the women-lovers complain about Serana, but she will never be as heartbreaking as Brynjolf, I don't care if she recognises proposals only to decline them). I mean, Brynjolf is the Tamriel equivalent of Scottish, he calls you "lass/lad", has got a smoothass voice, supports you through so much of the Thieves Guild questline, has a wicked sense of humour, and then when you finish the questline, it's all "sorry, lass. Got important things to do. We'll speak another time" 😭 You can't even recruit him as a follower. He says nothing when you wear an amulet of Mara. I play on a fucking PS4, I can't do mods to marry him or get more dialogue.

(By the way, on my most recent playthrough, Lydia died when I fought the troll on the seven thousand steps, and I am still mad about it. It used to be difficult for Lydia to die, that was why I brought her everywhere, and now I have to become Batman "I work alone". ESPECIALLY after Benor then died on the way up to Paarthurnax. I still can't believe that happened, I should have told him to stay behind and wait for my return.)

Also, every time I play, Derkeethus is so bugged, I can't even rescue him let alone marry the guy, which was disappointing because he seemed nice.

Argis the Bulwark, Vilkas, Farkas, Rayya, Aela the Huntress, and Marcurio, you are all marriageable and live in my heart always. Marcurio was the first I ever married, I think. Three guesses why I chose him (it's the sarcasm, wisecracks, and general sense of humour) (maybe the long hair too). Has anyone noticed how there doesn't seem to be marriageable options among the Khajiit characters?? Why do you think that is? I just checked the Skyrim marriage wiki and this is what it has to say in the trivia: 'There are no Khajiit spouses, however; since the majority of Khajiit in Skyrim are traders or travelers from Elsweyr, they probably have families back home. Additionally, Khajiit characters talk about home a lot, stating how much they miss it and how cold Skyrim is; thus, they probably do not want to marry and settle down in Skyrim.'

Heart-breaking. Oh well.

And that's the end of the line-up. If you read through this, Divines bless your goddamn soul. Psycho-analyse me based on them, I dare you. Or just judge me. I'd like to see either. And if you can find something in common about them all (you don't need to consider the honourable Skyrim mentions), please let me know, because I am personally at a loss.

[quailxcrossing]

I will always jump at the opportunity to ask about your ocs!!!! Truth be told I always have so many questions about them but just forget to ask, THANK you for RBing these ask games 🙏

7, 20 and 37 and for GOAT!!!

39 and H for Auï

31, 2, and 27 for Lucjan

and A & B for Caius and Etcetera! :3

;;0;; THANK YOUUU FISH it means a lot to meeeeee excited to get to answering!!!

GOAT !!!!!!!

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling? Certain smells that remind him of his old apartment, heavily wooded areas, the general concept of college sends him right back to being 4, rough felty textures and soft clothbody dolls. he usually doesn't like getting nostalgic, even in a good way, it makes him irritated.

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so? ohhh this is a good question. It's also hard bc personally the lines are all over the place in a variety of ways! like, i don't think i could answer this question for myself. like. help. i just want to kiss girls

for Goat....shifting into his brain right now. well. to him, those things feel very different- the way he feels like Turrie's (unspoken) brother has a different texture and expectation in his mind than how he's Cian's best friend. he knows both of them will love him unconditionally (at least he hopes they will) but its still different. like he's allowed to wrestle and annoy and gnaw on Turrie's arm, but he'll zip everything up when Cian seems like she needs a little space.

Auï feels a little bit in the middle but also completely different- Goat wants to earn Auï's respect but he's found it's easier to be vulnerable about it. He wants Auï to view him as "his person", and feels extra special when Auï chooses him in a situation. He wants Auï to choose him every time. He's not particularly sure where this line turns from platonic to romantic, though- he definitely knows there's attraction, but he felt this way long before even seeing Auï physically. He just wants to be his little guy, he doesn't know. he wants things to be expressed differently with Auï- he wants to be his boyfriend! he knows he could do a lot of the things he already does with Auï, but he wants that title and set of expectations. he doesn't know what it means at all, but it's how he feeeeeeeels

tl'dr Goat is demiaro/demiace + gay with killer alexithymia

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? 

Unfortunately, Goat was blessed with a photographic memory, but also ADHD. He views his memories in perfect snapshots of what he saw, and can view lists and orders this way, but Cian still needs to ask him 6 times to take the trash out. he's especially good with numbers this way- don't even worry he will NEVER forget a set of numbers. names, orders...they're a little bit trickier, but he usually relies on his good long-term memory to hopefully get things right- sometimes he just goes "uh, i don't know, red red green blue purple? i don't even remember. oh, i was right?? that just felt correct!"

AUÏ lets fucking gooooo

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

mmmmm!!!!! it used to be easy for him- he could recognize things, but he'd usually be kind enough to lend them some bit of grace. however, one of the Key Things his abuser did to him was pick his brain and make him notice and be aggravated by every little flaw in those around him, to isolate him! While in turn, holding Auï at an angle so he couldn't see his abuser's flaws.

Nowadays, he notices quite a lot, but he is trying to reteach himself to be accepting....he doesn't enjoy losing people in his life over petty things. he loves his friends despite their shortcomings, and he can put up with those annoyances as a testament of his care for them.

some people, however.....Slavavas........he just hates that guy. for a lot of reasons. its not Slavavas's fault but Auï is CERTAINLY finding every flaw in him

H) What trait do you (me!!) admire most? i really admire Auï's perseverance! he started as a vent character that I had no hope for, but he was able to prove himself to me as someone who would survive. I admire his ability to keep hope, however dim it gets at times, and how he doesn't close himself off from others despite how he's been hurt. Auï's survival is very important, to both of us!

I note this because when I was first writing his story, all the way back in BEINGS, some of you may know he was supposed to be killed off. As is the fate of a vent character written by a hurting creator. BUT....this devastated me (and Goat) and just made me feel worse....so deeply that I (and Goat) (mostly Goat, physically) had to rip open the seams of the universe so I could give him another chance- and another, and another, until he got it right! So deeply, deeply I admire his perseverance. Every time he enjoys the company of his friends or does something nice for himself, an angel gets their wings.

LUCJAN this is a fun one!?!?! how did you know I literally was drawing him today. i was JUST thinking about this guy. i love him

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?  His dear friends Alto and Pazz!! They were his favorite friends :D and trust me, Lucjan had a LOT of friends. He really connected with these two, especially Alto- he felt all of their lives were blessed to have met each other, should some divine being have guided their paths...he just really liked his best friends.

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh? Very easy!! Lucjan is constantly laughing at everything, he thinks every joke is the funniest ever, he is also one of those people who politely chuckle to confirm "yes i'm listening". he's so.... jovial... sorry i keep switching from past/present tense. im sad

27. What causes them to feel dread? 

Genuinely? When he was alive, nothing. He was an extremely trusting person, both in others and in the universe that everything would turn out. Doesn't mean he didn't feel fear! Just not dread. He did not dread! In his awesome ghost Waffle Fries AU(?), almost nothing! He doesn't like hearing noises behind him without a discernable source. Like if the floor creaks behind him and no one is there, he's on edge. just a little bit. maybe a lot sometimes.

yessss more creator questions these are FUN

A) Why are you excited about this character? B) What inspired you to create them?

For Caius and Etcetera!

I am excited for these characters because i LOVE THEM. i love their story.....its what founded my biggest story world to date! its a story which has changed a LOT over the years- did you know these guys used to be furries. its been an important story to me to cope with feelings like grief, progressive memory loss, fatherhood, neurodiversity, sexuality/closetedness....and lighter topics like my love for the beach, my love for catboys, and my love for whats going to be a very interestingly drawn comic if i can get my shit together! also my love for Kennedy. you didn't mention Kennedy but they are VERY important to Caicetera, and they did literally change my life radically (for the better) its an insane story.

what inspired me.....a lot of IRL experiences that happened in 2019, and then 2020 (not Covid). i had Caius and Etcetera's characters already down, they were literally every trope I liked at the time. i'm honestly not sure if there's any media that inspired it......i take my little snippets from media, like any writer, but i'm not really a writer who could point to any One thing, which is totally valid but it's personally not how i enjoy writing. i like working from the ground up! i work best from a wide palette! and sooo much has changed, the first Revive world was COMPLETELY different from today's Revive world. It used to be a free-for-all fantasy world with tons of different species set in the forest, to a more grounded fantasy world with solid worldbuilding/species and a SoCal flavor. i've been able to expand a lot better this way!! i mean, like, the 3 characters i talked about before these questions- aui, goat, and lucjan- they will never meet Caius and Etcetera, and yet their stories are just as rich and long! i'm very much a writer who likes to branch out in her worlds........

[misslavenderlady]

A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock ‘N Roll - Chapter 11

Summary: Romance is blossoming as the cowboy and the vampire enjoy their first real date. The only problem is that a certain head vampire is still interfering with their love life.

TW: Chapter contains mentions of abuse

Music from chapter HERE

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

David really did try his best to be as casual as possible when he and the others left the party. He didn’t talk much, stayed focused on going for a hunt, and rushed to get back to the cave as soon as he was cleaned off after feeding. It had been so easy to fight off the teasing from the boys before. With nothing going on between him and Michael, it made him far more confident about shutting down the comments his pack mates made.  

It wasn’t that simple anymore. 

The unthinkable had happened. For quite some time now, he had imagined what it would be like to have Michael. To hear his own name through a southern drawl just before embracing the human boy. There had been a bit of doubt hanging around in his mind about Michael returning such feelings. While he had made it clear that he had some level of attraction for men, his constant use of southern charm made it a bit trickier to tell what was him being friendly and what was flirting.  

Tonight hadn’t been the case. Everything was crystal clear. Michael liked him. He had honest-to-God romantic feelings for David. Enough to kiss him not once, but three times before he took his leave. Each one had been more perfect than the last. David could still taste Michael on his lips. Still feel the human warmth on his skin.  

He truly didn’t want the others to find out what was going on, but they were far more observant than he gave them credit for. 

“David,” Dwayne spoke first after they caught up with their leader at the cave. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?” 

The hairs on the back of David’s neck stood up. Every sense of confidence and composure he had was being tested.  

“What, pray tell, makes you think I have something to share?” he asked, tugging open his jacket to look for a cigarette. He had to settle his nerves with a smoke or else the others would notice.  

“Something’s just....different about you,” the brunet vampire pointed out. He crossed his arms over his bare chest, raising an eyebrow as he looked closer at David. Marko and Paul each joined him, clinging on to either side to see what Dwayne saw.  

David didn’t dare look at them. He wouldn’t have his eyes give away that their suspicions were correct. All he was focused on was finding his lighter and clicking it open so he could get a proper smoke going.  

“Was it something at the party, bud?” Paul asked. 

“Did Michael have anything to do with it?” Marko added. 

He stumbled at the sound of the cowboy’s name. David was usually so graceful with giving the flame a flick before setting the tip of his cigarette aflame. For once in his undead life, he lost his grip on the lighter, nearly dropping it onto the cave ground below. That in turn made him nearly lose the cigarette as well.  

It had only been a moment of clumsiness, but it was all that the other boys needed to confirm their suspicions.  

“Holy shit, did something finally go down with you guys??” 

The jig was up. David let out a sigh and forgot about the smoke. There was absolutely no way to get out of this mess. It was simply better to just confess and let the boys have their fun. Turning towards them, he smiled sheepishly. 

“Well, I mean if you’re gonna make me kiss and tell..”  

“OH MY GOD!” 

The three of them rushed to David’s side, excitedly surrounding him in order to either hug him or give him a playful nudge. It was rather embarrassing to get such a reaction, but he knew there was no more denying it. After all, what happened with Michael was a special moment. It felt good to actually acknowledge it out loud.  

He allowed them to ask their questions and make their demands on hearing the full story. Given that they already adored Michael as their friend, they were more than happy to find out that he and David had taken the next step in their relationship. Even with their lighthearted teasing, David couldn’t deny that it felt good to think back on it.  

The excitement only got stronger when he shared the news that tomorrow night would be their first official date. While Dwayne had the helpful advice of bringing some kind of gift for Michael, Paul and Marko offered to lend David a pack of condoms for a night of fun. That, of course, led to a rude gesture in their faces from David.  

Still, he was grateful that the three other Lost Boys were happy for him and Michael. It made him feel rather warm and fuzzy to talk about what could potentially blossom from this relationship. With the night coming to an end, the boys took their leave for their sleeping spot, giving their final congratulations to their leader.  

David smiled to himself. He only hoped the day would go by quickly so that he could see Michael again. Though his thoughts were interrupted by someone else speaking up. 

“You seem pretty happy.” 

The blond turned his head to see Star standing on the step by one of the cave entrances. She was holding Laddie up in her arms, the little half-vampire snoozing away with his head on her shoulder. After all the crazy dancing and delicious food he enjoyed with the others, he was certainly going to get a good amount of rest.  

“As a matter of fact, I am,” David admitted. “Sorry ‘bout making you lure him in. I know he’s really charming and all, but I know Paul is making up for any romance you wanted.” 

He waited for Star to break into a smile, as it was common for her to do when she thought about the wildest Lost Boy. To David’s surprise, her face remained completely serious. Her brown eyes were focused on him. Determined.  

“What?” he asked, cocking his head slightly. 

“David, I’m worried about you,” Star said. “Not only are you way behind on the plans you said you had to make, but your judgment is getting clouded. I don’t know what happened the other night, but you looked pretty hurt. I'm worried that something worse is going to happen to you.” 

The memory of Max’s attack flashed through David’s mind. Though his body had healed since that night, he still felt a shiver run through his core whenever he imagined those claws slicing through his body. He’d never felt so weak in his life. It reminded him that Max was not someone you should fuck with.  

Still, he wouldn’t show weakness in front of Star. He was the leader, and leaders didn’t show vulnerability like that. 

“Look, don’t get your panties in a twist, Star. I’m completely fi-” 

“I’m serious!” she interrupted. Laddie stirred in her arms, but she soothed him back to sleep with a hand gently running over his hair. “I want you to be happy with Michael, I really do. But you need to be careful. If you moved too fast with him or made some risky choices....I just....don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

David let out an exasperated sigh. He would never admit it to her, but she had a point. He hadn’t heard from Max all night, and he had no way of knowing exactly what he was going to do or say after the wild party. It was always so frustrating having Max breathe down his neck all the time. What was the point of living a permanent life of youth and adventure if you had a demanding father-figure bringing you down at the worst possible moments? 

Still, David was willing to endure whatever punishment Max had in store for him. Just so long as he didn’t try to hurt Michael. 

“Goodnight, Star,” David firmly said, ending their conversation in order to turn in for bed. 

She was left standing with Laddie, believing that David hadn’t listened to a word she had said. Little did she know that it was the only thing on his mind now. Even with the anticipation for another night of romance with Michael, he couldn’t help but think about what could go wrong with this.  

He could only hope that his fears wouldn’t come true.  

After being around for so long, David had been on plenty of dates. He romanced all kinds of humans over candlelit dinners, intimate walks and sweet touches, all before sinking his fangs in for a deep drink. He didn’t see any need to develop long-term relationships. Humans were simply food, and he had the boys to keep him company whenever he needed some love.  

So to show up at the Emerson house wearing the flannel Michael had given him and fidgeting nervously about going inside was something entirely new to him. He had debated with himself for a good twenty minutes prior to leaving as to whether or not to wear the jacket. It wasn’t like him to worry so much about making a good impression with someone he already knew quite well.  

As an additional sweet gesture for Michael, he had picked out a single red rose at a local flower shop before going to the house. He had the long stem in between his fingers, the sharp thorns grazing his bare skin. At the time, he was so focused on finding the perfect flower to give to Michael that he hadn’t even thought to cut off the thorns. It only worsened his nerves.  

True to the habit he had gotten into, he stepped into the house without ringing the bell or knocking. It was a little weird for the vampire, feeling that he shouldn’t just waltz in casually since this was such a special night for the two of them.  

But the moment David walked into the home, his eyes moved right to the staircase. Michael was already at the top of it, baby blue eyes widening in excitement when he saw David. He was dressed in dark denim jeans and a burgundy sweater. His trusty hat was perched on top of his shiny curls.  

“Looks like we had the same idea for what to wear,” Michael smiled, gesturing to the color of his shirt. It was only then that David realized the red in the borrowed flannel was the exact same shade. That little detail put a dopey grin on his own face.  

“I guess I picked the right color with this as well,” David said, twirling the rose in his hand. Michael perked up, eagerly making his way down the stairs in order to get a better look at the flower.  

Michael’s cheeks flushed with a soft shade of pink. He clearly loved the gift, taking it in order to smell the fragrance. It made David a bit nervous to see his fingers move over the thorns. It was the smallest detail, yet it bothered him the most. 

“I uh...I’m sorry about the thorns,” the blond said sheepishly, rubbing his neck nervously. “I don’t want them to hurt you.” 

Even with the warning, Michael held the sharp parts of the stem without any worry. All he was focused on was the softness of the petals and the beautiful color. He smiled at David, leaning in to kiss his cheek as a nice gesture to thank him.  

“They don’t bother me one bit,” Michael assured him. “This was mighty sweet o’ ya, Huckleberry.” 

David’s mind went blank, the fears and insecurities fading out as he focused on the warmth in Michael’s kiss. He had to hand it to the guy, he had quite a talent in putting anyone in the best mood possible without even trying. Who would have thought a southern gentleman of a boy would be the thing to completely turn David’s life upside down.  

“So,” Michael started after finding a nearby vase to put the flower in. “Where exactly are we goin’ tonight?” 

David opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out when he made a rather obvious realization. 

“Oh my God, I never actually planned anything...” he admitted. “I was so excited to see you that I didn’t even think of something to do.” 

The two of them burst into a fit of giggles, David’s being fueled by embarrassment and Michael’s being from amusement.  

“Aww shoot, that’s alright! Tell ya what, I can think of somethin’ for tha two of us!” Michael said. He held out his hand, waiting excitedly for David to take it. The blond’s undead heart was practically melting as he graciously accepted it.  

He guided David out to the back door of the house, making his way to the horse stables. As per usual, Bambi was outside, casually chewing on some hay by herself. Michael clearly took good care of her. She was always well-fed and cleaned up.  

“How about we go for a ride? There’s a trail up the hill we can go on together. At the top there’s purdy view of the land we can enjoy.” 

“You got a horse I can ride on too? Believe me, if I can handle a Triumph, I can handle a horse.” 

Michael smirked, amused at David’s confidence. He shrugged and gave a loud whistle, signaling for one of the other horses to come on out to join them. A cream-colored horse came trotting out, happy to be called by her owner. David watched the animal with curiosity while Michael reached out to give her some petting. 

“This here’s Bo! I think she’ll make a good horse for ya. Y’all got the same color hair after all!” 

David chuckled in amusement. Sure enough, his bleached locks matched her natural coat color quite well. He held out his own hand for her to sniff, hoping she would react as well as Bambi did a while back.  

The horse was more than happy to get some attention from him. She whinnied excitedly, nudging his hand so he could pet her muzzle.  

“Another ‘B’ name, huh? It’s a cute pattern.” 

“Yup! Call them my triple Bs! Bambi, Boxer and Bo! They're all darlin's I swear,” Michael grinned as he set up the saddles for the two animals. “I know that time with Boxer scarin’ Laddie was a big mess. I swear, he’s doin’ much better now. Sweeter than a bowl a’ sugar!” 

In no time at all, the two of them were perched on top of their own horses. It didn’t intimidate David to be on for a ride. He was sure that muscle memory from his past human life would be an ideal guide for him as he took the reins. And if that didn’t help, then he trusted Michael to know what to do.  

He would trust Michael with anything.  

It was hard to believe such a beautiful trail was a part of the Murder Capital of the world. To be in such a peaceful area, slowly traveling by horse to see all the greenery and wildflowers was something David hadn’t truly experienced from his home before.  

Every time he rode with the boys, they pushed themselves as fast as they could possibly go. Even for more casual rides down the roads of the city, they were focused on how fast the lights passed around them and how the winds blew their hair back. This time, it was slow and steady. It made him see the world around him with a bit of clarity.  

Michael was certainly just as wild as the Lost Boys, but he was a down-to-earth guy who knew when to take life a little more slowly. He hadn’t fully appreciated that sentiment back in Texas, but he wanted to make the most of it in his new home.  

When the horses carried them to the top of the path, David was surprised to find a flat space of land with thick, green grass all around. It was perfect for the two of them to sit down and take a rest.  

“Ya like it up here, David?” Michael asked as he tied the horse's reins to a nearby tree.  

“I never knew about this area. You have quite an eye for nice places,” David complimented him. He slipped his hands into his pockets as he surveyed the view.  

The lights of Santa Carla shined brightly against the night sky. If he had been on the streets, he would have been bombarded with the sounds of screams on the amusement park rides or the crashing of beer bottles from drunks wandering around. From this distance, all was quiet. Peaceful. Certainly not the city he knew. 

Michael came up next to him, sitting down in the grass as well. Something about being close to him gave David an extra dose of ease to enjoy the evening.  

“Really looks like an entirely different city from up here.” 

“Actually,” Michael said, pointing upward. “I prefer the view of that up there.” 

David followed the direction of his finger. A sky full of stars shined down on the two of them. It was a new moon tonight, which allowed the small flecks of light to stand out against the dark sky. He was no stranger to the beauty of the sky. When you were a vampire, you got to go on quite a lot of flights through the clouds above. 

But being next to Michael to gaze at them from the ground was just as nice. 

“Sure is something,” David sighed. His fears were slipping away more and more. He was even comfortable enough to get a little closer to Michael. 

“Wish ya could see the view back in Texas. Without the city lights, it’s the most magical thing ya ever did see.” 

David’s face softened as he turned to gaze at Michael.  

“You still miss it?” 

Michael seemed to think about the question for a bit. There was a glimpse of sadness on his face as he silently thought back to the home he had left behind. David could tell he probably had hundreds of thousands of happy memories from there.  

“I always will. My heart will always have a place there, no matter what,” Michael admitted. “But I know I can always bring the good of it with me whereva’ I go. All the hospitality and the fun and the quiet moments of comfort is somethin’ I want others to enjoy. After all, th’ boys an’ you showed me how fun California can be. I woulda been a lot more lonely without you.” 

David chuckled softly, nudging up against the southern boy. The more he got to know him and the Emersons, the more curious it made him to see Michael’s old stomping grounds someday. Especially if the sky was much more beautiful. 

“Well, I could say the same about you,” he said. “Especially hearing you talk about the stars. They really must look nice where you’re from.” 

“Yup! Hell, there’s a reason why our most famous song first mentions the night sky.” 

While the brunet boy hummed a few bars of Deep in the Heart of Texas, David continued to look at him. Michael never seemed to have a worry or care in the world. He had been so sure that it wouldn’t be much letting him adapt to the gang, but it seemed that the closer they got, the higher the risk was that it could all go wrong. 

And yet, when the light of the stars reflected in his eyes, David didn’t think about that. To Hell with Max. He was in love with the cowboy with a heart of gold.  

“The most stunning thing I ever laid eyes on,” David whispered, reaching forward to take hold of Michael’s chin.  

The human’s eyes widened as he turned to face David. If he hadn’t been staring so intensely, he would have thought David was still talking about the stars.  

With a gentle tug, David brought Michael in for a kiss. It seemed that each time their lips met, it got better and better. They both felt such exhilaration getting closer. It made it that much easier to get completely wrapped up in one another.  

Their kisses got warmer. Deeper. David’s hands were cradling Michael’s face, thumbs massaging against the stubbled skin. Michael softly moaned, carefully reaching down to hold David’s hips as he got closer. It felt right for both of them to be a bit bolder with their moment of intimacy.  

As David caressed the side of his face, Michael got closer, his calloused hands wrapping around the vampire’s hips. It made David feel dizzy with excitement to feel the tug of Michael’s fingers around his belt in order to lessen the space between them. His lips curled up into a satisfied smile in between each kiss.  

He was completely lost in the moment, drunk on the passion they shared. In that moment, he never wanted it their kiss to end. 

That was, until Michael’s hands moved upward over his back.  

It was a perfectly innocent move. All he had tried to do was graze his fingers under the flannel and touch David some more. When he tried to move the fabric, he ended up moving David’s shirt up as well. His warm fingertips accidentally brushed again his back, and every part of the vampire’s body went ice cold.

“NO!” he yelled, pushing himself off of Michael.  

Neither one of them had expected such an intense reaction. As David sat, clutching his chest in shock, Michael looked back at him with wide, guilt-ridden eyes. The human boy touched a part of the scar that Max had left behind. Though he had healed since that night his Sire punished him, the strength of the head vampire had left enough damage to leave a permanent reminder of what happened.

“Oh my lord, I’m so sorry, David!” Michael apologized, his hands placed over his mouth. He was mortified by what he did. Max had hurt David, and he had promised not to let such a thing happen again. It filled him with guilt to bring back such awful memories.

David didn’t know what to do. What to say. His head was spinning and his body felt heavy, the painful sensation of behind thrown aside and hurting even more after being sliced up was weighing terribly on him. It was ruining what was supposed to be a beautiful night.

“Michael, I....” 

There was no was to go about this without Michael getting even more suspicious. All the secrets and all the pain were piling up the more they spent time together. Max was going to ruin everything, whether it was with the use of his blood to corrupt the family, or with his presence filling David with every terrible memory of his mistreatment. He couldn’t let that control weigh on him any longer.

David was going to have to come clean.  

“There’s something I need to tell you...” 

Tag List: @silvermaplealder @michael-after-hours @legal-lost-boy @britany1997 @riz-coolgirl @crustyraccoon @ghoulgeousimmaculate @kurt-nightcrawler @auntvamp @sunshine-wylan @thelostsouls1987 @pixielostboy @thornthehellhound @solobagginses @6lostgirl6 @american-idiot-jpg @bloodywickedvamp @anxiouslittleweirdgirl @juss-soupp

[alonggoodbye]

@ssolessurvivor

She knew that she should have waited until she got home to light up a dart, but this night had been a busy one and quitting was proving trickier than she thought. Halia tucked herself in the back alley after her set and watched the cigarette smoke slowly ascend towards the heavens as if the stars themselves beckoned it into the deep blue above. A frown tugged down the corners of her full lips as she noticed that the light from the new fangled light posts were stealing away the night sky she so loved. The world was moving faster with every day; how much longer until the stars completely disappeared? After a few moments of peace a voice from her peripheral snapped her to attention. "No," she stated immediately before the man could begin to smooth talk her. Her long exhale blew a fresh smokestack at her unwanted caller as she flicked her ashen coffin nail at his shoes as a warning. "I ain't interested, so, you can take a hike, bucko." Usually, guys like him were like timid bears, unwilling to give chase when their prey gave the slightest bit of push back. Of course it was always the daring ones that wanted to flap their gums at her on her bad days. A meaty hand snaked it's way around her waist and pulled her close to a sweaty body that stank of heavily applied musk, whiskey, and aftershave. Hot breath warmed her ear and she could feel a shiver run down her spine. Her arm went out immediately and pushed back against the squish of the mans stomach. Looking over his shoulder, Halia caught sight of a familiar face exiting the speakeasy's building. "L-Logan! Logan, my darling!" As soon as the grip on her waist loosened the singer sprinted into her acquaintance, sliding her arms around one of his. Halia forced a loud chuckle and a sweet smile: "Oh, Sweetheart, I thought you forgot all about me."

[sunsafewriting]

Hiiiii

Just wanna say that the Do A Flip cinematic universe is one of the absolute BEST works I've seen in the fandom, and I wanna thank you SO MUCH for sharing your amazing talent with us!

Also, was curious as to whether there's a POV you loved writing and also which one you found to be more difficult, if there was one.

Again, thank you so much! Hope you have a nice week!

Hi :D thank you so much for this ask!!! You are incredibly kind and I am so glad you're enjoying Do A Flip! That's always beyond lovely to hear 💛💛💛

Re: POVs, definitely! There is quite a big variation for me.

I find Lilith's perspective relatively easy to write, because it's supposed to be quite comedic and stylised for the most part, and I have a very specific kind of tone I usually aim for. I also find Glen's easier to write because he's quite different from the other characters, in that he's much older and so has a different understanding of a lot of things. Oh and Ryan, the guy who hits on Ava at the bar, because his voice was really funny to me. Most of the characters aren't assholes, so I enjoyed getting to write an asshole.

I thought writing Ava's POV for the expansion would be massively hard, but it was actually smoother than I thought, and I really enjoy writing her! After I finish this chapter of Pirates AU, I'm going to do another Ava POV I think.

The most difficult ones are actually ones you don't see --- I cut them because I didn't like how they turned out, like Mother Superion and Jillian. I wanted to write them, but I couldn't get something that felt right, so they're on ice for now. I haven't tried to write Beatrice yet, but I think she'll probably be quite difficult too --- particularly because the more I backfill with the expansions, the less wiggle room I have, which makes things trickier for me lol.

Thanks for this ask! It was a really interesting question :D and thanks again for your very lovely words 💛

[penname-artist]

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? 💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

Oooh, that first one's got me thinking, hm... there's a lot of stories I've made over the years but in terms of volume of responses I wasn't quite expecting, I have to say probably that old 'From V to U' fic I made, because as it happened I got corrected by like four people why Maru's name is Maru. A part of me wants to redo it because of that but you know what? It's one headcanon, an old one at that, so I'm not worried about it. Y'all can live with it.

Another one, for a strikingly different reason, is basically any of my popular ones. I almost never "expect" to get a lot of traction on them, per se, I kinda just expect the usual handful of views and kudos, but some of them - *cough cough* Chance of Rain - just seem to take off on their own accord. It's extremely welcome and appreciated but it's definitely unexpected, too XP

Also I found my least kudosed piece (it's actually a tie) and I'm...GENUINELY surprised? Like. It's a smutfic. Are you- are you guys okay? The horny people totally passed this one up? (to be fair this is an OC/OC piece so I can understand that much, but still)

Now 'Unknown' I get, y'know - it's a Cabbie-ISH fic, it's vague, it's short, there's a piece of lore behind the piece of lore and it won't make any sense if you don't read the first one and you really don't NEED to read this one because the only thing it is is finishing the job and closing the book on one part of Cabbie's pre-military life. But still.

Oh wait I needed to say something specifically good about them I just remembered LOL

On 'A Canine's Pet' I just absolutely love the wording. It's technically in an in-between place of 'vanilla' and 'very much not' but Lucky and C4NIN3 are an established couple (and they're adorable) who can admittedly be a little kinky from time to time too. They're both characters that belong to my buddy @yaboymacaroni and they're super cool and fun to write. I think I'm just trash for small bratty twink characters but you know lol

And for 'Unknown', hmm...Well, I can tell you I made Unknown before I even finished making Sweet Child of Mine (the brother fic to it). I knew exactly how I wanted it to end, though getting there was the trickier aspect. And if I'm being really honest here (I always end up that way because I can't bend truth to save my life) the fic was its own kind of vent in a way, it just wormed its way into the ties of headcanon lore. The only thing it's meant to reference is cutting connections with your past and, well without putting too fine a point on it, leaving the past to rot in your stead. Finishing a chapter of your life so to speak, no matter how messy severing that connection may be. Is it a little extreme? of course, it's fanfiction. Then again, I've also seen a lot worse. And when you're a writer, your own self starts to get sewn into the fabric of fics you weave, whether we wanted it there or not.

(One of these days I'll finish Blindfall, I swear to you)

[spoiledleaff]

i would like to ask about the pants chain (?) thingy you wear on the pic in the bracelet giveaway post if i may? looks so cute and cool and how did you make it and just 😆

hello, hello!! :D yes! i’d love to help out a bit; i had a great deal of fun working on those ‘chains’, haha! i made them as a safer alternative to wearing genuine wallet chains//pant chains, as i was worried that my usual chains would be deemed too unsafe for the venue :’) but i still wanted to look cool, haha!!

it’s these guys, right? :)

the ascensionism ‘chain’ was definitely a great deal easier to work in than the vore ‘chain’ :0 i used the candy stripe pattern from traditional friendship bracelet making, but instead of worrying about tying a bracelet off, i simply worked the lobster clasps into the embroidery floss instead! :)

as a very general tutorial on friendship bracelet making as a whole, i highly recommend >>this<< tutorial on YouTube! :D it helps you through some very beginner friendly designs, and helps you get used to the crafting process as a whole! :D

these ‘chains’ use the exact same principles as friendship bracelets! same work process, same knots, same pretty much everything! :D but! i’ll do my best to explain my process regardless :)

depending on how long you’d like your ‘chain’, i’d measure some embroidery floss to be double that! so, for instance, i wanted my ‘chain’ to be around 18 in.//46 cm long, so i cut my thread to be a little over 36 in.//92 cm long! :D

after that, i’d grab a clasp and loop one end of the threads through it, making sure that the clasp is positioned at the middle of my threads before tying an overhand knot at the end! this helps double the threads your working with and makes your ‘chain’ a little thicker! :D so, if you’re using three different colors, you’d be working with six threads.

once the thread is ready to start working on, this is where i start to plan out my designs with beads and letters! :D spacing is super important to me, so this is usually where i start plotting how much of the ‘chain’ i want to knot vs. how much of it i want to decorate with beads and etc. etc. i usually take a picture to help me visualize it better while i’m working on the knots! :D

i highly recommend using a sewing or embroidery needle to help with threading your letters and beads on, haha! definitely a big time saver :)

that’s pretty much it, haha! after i put on my letters and decorations, i finish knotting the rest of the ‘chain’ and slip on another lobster clasp :) after knotting and trimming the threads, i usually use a clear nail polish on both ends of the ‘chain’ to make sure nothing breaks or undoes itself while i’m wearing it!

these ‘chains’ are honestly super fun and i really enjoyed making them! however, the process for the bottom is a bit trickier than the process for the top :0 i struggled with it quite a bit!

if you want your ‘chain’ to have more than one layer for lettering, like what i did with the vore lyrics, than while you’re threading your letter beads through, instead of threading all of them through one massive chunk of your threads, your going to wank to split your total threads back into their individual sections. so, with the previous example in mind, instead of threading all six of your threads through the beads, your going to thread three of them through one layer, and then the other three threads through the other layer.

when dividing up your layers, i highly recommend making your topmost layer have less letters//words than your bottommost layer! :0 that way, when you reconnect the strands for the final section of the bracelet, the topmost layer will tighten and make itself straighter than the bottom layer, clearly separating the two. if you don’t distribute the words unevenly, then your two layers will get themselves tangled and mixed up in each other! :0

the vore ‘chain’ is super long too! i had to measure nearly 90 in.//228 cm worth of thread to compensate all the different techniques i used, so don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you’re not getting the hang of it!

whereas the ascensionism ‘chain’ only took me 2 tries + a total of barely 4 hours of working, the vore ‘chain’ took me 5 different tries for a total of almost 16 hours of crafting!! i thought i was losing my mind, haha!

it’s a massive process of trial and error, that’s for sure! :’D

but, i think that’s pretty much the gist honestly! :0 i promise it’s not as complicated as i feel like i made it sound, haha! once you get a bit of practice in and start getting a better feel for it, it’s actually quite simple :)

i hope this helps!! :D if you need any help with the process, feel free to let me know! i might be able to do some sort of video tutorial or something like that to better show you how to make them :)

oh!! and if you make one, i wanna see it, haha!! :D i think these little friendship chains are super cool and fun to make!! :) happy crafting!! ♡♡

[castlebyersafterdark]

your comments about acting intimacy are so interesting. unrealistic porn is so different because its very staged and all about the performance and good angles, not about connection or intimacy, and so for the actors, those things won't be present either.

but in dramatic acting (or anything non porn) then the aim IS to create this connection thats believable, and actors will often say that if there is no natural chemistry (meaning genuinely getting lost in what the character is feeling), then it must be summoned - which means you bring or find the connection, and hopefully still a real one. if that fails, you have to fake it, and at this point the whole film is probably a dud, let alone the intimate scenes. just like any well-acted scene, the actors are going to get a little blurring of the lines, because they would aim to get lost in character. of course you can see how this becomes trickier to speak about in press etc as an actor when it comes to sexual scenes rather than, for example, a rollercoaster or biking down a hill, for which there is no shame or implication (or even nasty legal repercussions) in the enjoyment of.

but if you look at the way some actors have spoken about filming sex or intimacy, they can be quite honest, and much more often with european filmmakers actually. i think of the open and truthful environment luca guadagnino created for call me by your name, where the actors clearly had some sort of love affair, emotional most likely, and also admitted to becoming besotted. you even have the guy from its always sunny in philadelphia admitting to enjoying the kiss with his costar on a US chat show, in front of said costar (who also enjoyed it apparently!) and her husband, who is also an actor and writer for that show lol!

so it takes this trust and intimacy within the film cast and crew to get there. you said it's bodies on bodies at the end of the day, which is true, but think of how sometimes even in your own privacy as a non-actor there are mental blocks that can stop sexual enjoyment happening frustratingly. so on set, i would imagine that even with a costar you were attracted to, it might even be harder, because there would be the sense of not wanting to be discovered in a moment that you secretly want to enjoy. (which lends itself nicely to your fantasy trope of a showmance occuring behind the scenes...)

and lastly, 'being professional' tends to refer to how the actors treat and judge each other in these extremely vulnerable moments rather than saying they aren't enjoying a scene - many might well do! it's just whether or not you as the viewing public would ever discover the trith of that. being professional usually refers instead to how you respect your costar if they get an accidental boner (rather common actually - and as you said, the mind knows its acting, but the body doesnt), and how you acknowledge their acting choices because they are performing intimacy as their character, not themselves. this divide allows for trust and freedom on set, when you feel comfortable enough to get vulnerable and try new creative things as an actor, and i think most 'shameful' or 'negative' emotions (despair, crying, etc) would require the same level of trust and safety for actors to really let loose and Go There.

i have acted before and the thrill of getting lost in a scene with a partner is like nothing else - to become another person momentarily is drug-like, and sometimes you actually black out and come to after a scene and can't remember what happened (you can see why trust and safety is paramount!). i will say though, that actors are a certain kind of person, the worst aspect of them being a need for attention, which is very human, but when it's an intense need, it can lead to an atypical life: being an actor! it's a very unusual life, very up and down, very vulnerable, and it can create greatness and also destroy. actors are strange wonderful folk.

and with byler, who are the elephant in the room of this post lol, because they began young, its a different kettle of fish and i would say unprecedented actually. the only likeness to ST is harry potter, and as we know, that never became sexual or featured such overt sexual themes. noah was a trained actor but has not trained as an adult actor as far as i know, but i think he is wonderfully left-field and Up For Anything, with a real dedication to acting itself. As for finn, he wanted to be behind the camera, and ended up in front of it on the way there, so i think his approach is a little less sure of himself, and he said as much in that hot wings interview where he wishes he could have some of that childish confidence back from the early seasons. Let's hope the duffers create a trusting and safe environment so they can let loose. I'm sure that knowing each other so well will either 1) make it too awkward to get right or 2) make it super easy, natural and safe. I reckon the latter, because the chemistry so far has always been fantastic and i think they will just go for it.

But personally, my pipedream is seeing them both star in some kind of european or alternative title, something very dramatic and bold, maybe a period piece, with a director like guadagnino who truly understands sensuality and how to foster trust on a film set, and pulls fantastically erotic performances out of all his stars.

This is all so interesting and expands on a lot of things I wish I articulated better! Super insightful. While I'm heavily interesting in the 'technical' aspects of film-making, the cerebral, emotion-driven acting part eludes me. It's never been in my real knowledge base. Never acted and I never felt the drive to pursue it, but have been involved in other parts. There's so much to consider with performing - I didn't want to make total assumptions on how the process works and how actors really feel about this portion of filming, but that's so interesting about how some might really get so deep into the performance/portrayal that you kind of become that character for scenes, etc. Which I guess leads into the method acting style, which is quite a bit more extreme, but I'm sure on a micro-method level that's how a lot of acting happens. Very interesting.

Heavily agree with your point at the end there. It would be really intriguing to see either Finn or Noah involved in a much more niche and lesser scale film, able to tap into emotions and acting scenarios way beyond the mega-blockbuster wide-audience appeal of a netflix powerhouse. I think under the right direction they could make something really beautiful and engaging. Especially since you can already see what they bring to ST is on a bit of an elevated level as needed for the particular roles they are portraying. Much to think about....

[delimeful]

tear it down (around my head) (4)

warnings: PTSD, trauma responses, hypervigilance, negative thinking

-

It was a borderline miracle that they’d managed to finish their breakfast with the experimenting that Remus and Patton started doing, but Virgil couldn’t deny that seeing Remus so clearly enjoying himself was enough to make even his cold, dead heart flutter.

If only the source of his teammate’s happiness wasn’t a ticking time bomb in the form of an insanely dangerous supervillain.

Virgil sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as the growing headache in his temple pulsed. He was used to going without sleep, well-adapted to it, but with the added stress of inviting yet another person into whatever the hell this disaster was, a migraine seemed imminent.

Doctor Emile Picani had been a contact of Janus’s for a while, and Virgil had even had a few sessions with him at his partners’ insistence, though they mostly consisted of surface level conversation and long awkward silences that he would remember later with an embarrassed wince. The guy was friendly and enthusiastic, and Virgil knew that if he got hurt while trying to help them deal with the Lightshow issue, it would suck for everyone.

Even so, they didn’t have very many options. After breakfast, Janus had tried to gauge just how much Lightshow was missing, and found that it was way too much. Like, a deeply concerning amount. The guy was still functioning, and clearly understood societal rules and general knowledge, but any specifics about himself, his loved ones, or his past in general were out of reach.

According to him, anyway. Virgil had his suspicions.

Either way, they’d called in a therapist, and now they were all suited up and crowded in one of the small guest rooms, listening as Picani asked questions about the situation.

Virgil was leaning against the back wall and watching Lightshow carefully, ignoring the way Janus shot him a look. A few shadows curled around his head like a dark visor, trying to keep the overhead fluorescent light from worsening his headache. He brushed his hand against the manifestation of his power gently in thanks, wondering if Patton-- Lightshow’s energy ever responded to him subconsciously like this. He couldn’t imagine that harsh burning light ever trying to protect anyone, even its source.

“I know I was wandering for a while,” Lightshow was saying, “but it gets hazier the further back I try to remember, like one big blur. It… It kind of hurts, when I focus too hard?”

He was clinging to a stuffed plush deer, one that Picani had brought along since they refused to meet him in his office for something so sensitive. Why his first thought when treating a supervillain had been to bring a cuddly Disney plush, Virgil had no idea.

Picani hummed thoughtfully. “I understand. It could be a way your mind is protecting itself from the hurt of certain memories or the information in them, like Spinel from the Steven Universe movie! Self-inflicted amnesia is much trickier to address than injury-based amnesia, least of all because removing that protection too soon can make your situation worse.”

“Everyone’s counting on me to know, though,” Lightshow said, furrowing his brow in stubborn determination. It was a far cry from the glassy arrogant expression that he usually wore during their fights. “I… I also have these strange dreams.”

Janus’s interest caught with a tapping of his fingers, only visible to those who knew about his little tells, the ones he allowed himself in friendly company. “Dreams?”

Lightshow glanced up at him, and then looked back down at the plush like he was telling it instead. “They don’t make very much sense, and I don’t-- I don’t really recognize the people in them most of the time, but sometimes I get that feeling-- when you feel like you’ve done something before?”

"Déjà vu?” Janus offered.

“Gesundheit,” Lightshow replied, and Remus let out a cackle. Virgil himself just barely muffled a snort, forcing his face impassive when Lightshow peeked back at him.

“Can you share what the dreams are normally about?” Picani prompted, bringing them back on topic.

Lightshow went tense, his fists clenching. Virgil couldn’t help but stiffen up in response, though matching gestures from both his teammates kept him from moving forward.

“I…,” Lightshow struggled for a moment, before visibly drooping. “I can’t. It’s all just… too much. I’m really sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Picani replied, exchanging a quick glance with Janus. “This is what I’m here for after, all!”

Lightshow tilted his head slightly in puppylike confusion, curly brown hair flopping to one side.

“Patton,” the therapist started, “if you’d like, I can try and help you soften that mental block. I’m primarily a normal therapist, but I do have a low-grade power, and I’ve been licensed to use it to help patients.”

From the front, Lightshow must have kept his composure, because none of the others reacted, but from behind, Virgil could see the way his back muscles bunched up in a familiar configuration, like he was facing something that he desperately wanted to flee.

The question was, what was he afraid of? Picani hadn’t even revealed what the power was yet.  Could it be that the very idea of a mental power was alarming to him?

Abruptly, Virgil remembered when Janus’s hands had grabbed onto Lightshow during their first encounter, the way his alarm had abruptly spiked into utter, mindless terror.

… Was he just afraid of people using their abilities on him in general?

“If you think it will help us figure this out, then we can try it,” Lightshow said, his voice a little wobbly from nerves.

Picani hesitated, a little thrown off his script. “Well, uh, let me tell you about it! The power is called Nostalgia, and it allows me to help a patient safely pull forward repressed memories that might otherwise be difficult to manage. I wouldn’t usually recommend it in the first session, but I’ve been told this is an urgent situation.”

Virgil had expected Lightshow’s next question to be, “Will you see the memories?”

The assumption wasn’t even borne from suspicion (mostly), it was just a natural question to ask about psychic abilities, to gauge the level of intrusion. Virgil himself had asked it almost immediately upon learning about it.

Instead, what Lightshow said was, “How much will it hurt?”

His posture was still tense, braced for the worst.

Virgil could see all the little ways that Janus and Remus responded to the implications of that particular question, but Picani didn’t flinch, maintaining his friendly, open demeanor.

“It won’t hurt at all unless something goes very wrong,” he stated firmly. “The point of using my power is to make this recall as painless for you as possible, and I’ve trained with it for a long time to make sure that even if something does go wrong, I’ll be able to disengage ASAP, okay?”

“Okay.” Lightshow nodded, a little bit too fast, almost before Picani was done speaking. “Let’s do it.”

Picani reached out and settled his hand on one of Lightshow’s temples, closing his eyes, and somehow, Virgil found himself equally worried about both of them.

There was a long stretch of silence where they held this position, the local superhero team sitting as quiet outsiders with bated breath.

Then, abruptly, Picani withdrew, shaking his hand a bit as though he’d gotten a static shock. Lightshow’s eyes snapped open, and they flickered from place to place in the room before settling on Picani with worry.

“I-- Did I mess it up?” he asked with no little uncertainty, a far cry from the hyperventilating, emotional mess Virgil had been the first time this method had worked on him.

“There’s no way to ‘mess up’ in my office, only temporary roadblocks,” Picani replied with a smile, flexing his hand a few more times. “You’ve got a pretty strong roadblock though, and it would take a lot more than my measly little station wagon to break through it. I’d say your nightmares are probably the bits and pieces that are slipping through the cracks.”

“So they are real memories?” Lightshow asked, voice heavy with some indecipherable emotion. Picani nodded.

“Did you see anything recognizable in these dreams,” Janus asked, shifting forwards slightly, “either of you? If these are real memories, any information from them could be crucial to helping find out what happened to Patton.”

“He would have to be asleep for me to see them at all,” Picani replied, his mouth turned down at the corners.

“I…,” Lightshow wavered. “It’s always so hard to think in nightmares. I don’t think-- I don’t remember recognizing anything.”

“Are you sure?” Janus pressed, and Lightshow’s breathing turned a shade quicker.

Remus stood with jarring quickness, stepping to Lightshow’s side. “That’s enough,” he announced firmly. “Sometimes brain bears are better left unpoked, unless you’re into being maimed.”

He hesitated only the barest moment before reaching an arm out, the closest to vulnerable that Virgil had seen him in front of anyone but them in ages. He felt protectiveness for his partner swell and bubble up, ready to snarl if Remus’s offer was harshly rebuffed, but it ended up being unnecessary.

Lightshow rose to meet Remus like a magnet, slotting against his side as though they’d known each other for years, as though the many rough scars that littered Remus’s body barely even registered. There was no disgust or wariness in the lines of Lightshow’s face, only exhausted relief as he clung on. It seemed that they’d finally found someone who was just as much of a squeezer as Remus when it came to cuddling.

Janus relented immediately at Remus’s warning, his expression dampening slightly with regret. He reached out a gloved hand, one of his visible ones. “Of course, beloved. I didn’t mean to upset you. Either of you. Or your mind bears.”

Remus reached out and clasped his hand tightly, his forgiveness coming easy once earned.

“I wasn’t beary upset,” Lightshow added, gaze darting between their interlocked hands and Virgil like he was trying to piece together a particularly challenging puzzle. He shook his head after a moment, his brow taking on a troubled wrinkle as he refocused. “I shouldn’t be-- It’s my fault for not being able to give you anything useful. And after all you’ve done for me, too.”

The words felt well-worn, almost recited. Virgil felt his face scrunch up in confusion for a heartbeat, and by the bewildered look Remus shot him over Lightshow’s head, he wasn’t the only one. As grumpy as he’d been about it, a first aid kit and a single night’s stay in a dusty guest room wasn’t exactly a burden for them to arrange. It certainly shouldn’t have been enough to drive someone to eternal gratitude.

“Dearheart,” Janus started reassuringly, and since when had Lightshow earned a nickname? “We don’t hold debts for little things like taking in someone in trouble with nowhere to go. In fact, if you ask me, nobody should be paying for basic life essentials like food and shelter. Have you read any Kropotkin?”

He led the way out of the room as he spoke, playing an excellent distraction as Remus and Lightshow trailed after, and Virgil waited until they were down the hall to close the door and loom over the last occupant of the room.

“Doctor Picani,” he greeted, because despite their sessions, he hadn’t yet hit the required level of emotional openness to be anything but bluntly polite acquaintances with the guy. Besides, this was about business, not him personally.

“Virgil!” Picani replied, because his default setting was an alarming level of friendliness. “I hope one of my favorite clients isn’t about to ask me anything that would violate my patient-doctor confidentiality!”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about whatever you think is going on with his brain. I want to know if he’s dangerous.”

“Because of who he is? Because that still sounds an awful lot like his brain you’re asking about,” Picani replied. Some of Virgil’s stress must have shown on his face, because Picani reached out and set a hand on his arm, offering him a sympathetic smile. “If he was a danger to himself or others, I would be legally required to take action. Which I am notably not doing.”

“Like you care about the law,” Virgil scoffed, “you work with illegal vigilantes.”

Still, his shoulders relaxed slightly, some of the strain falling from them.

Picani’s word was enough of a reassurance, for now.