#i made the template myself this year!

[under-the-ladder]

Since all the songs have been here for a few days now, time for my top (for now. I have no doubts this will change until May.) Warning, a wall of text incoming

The middle section was so hard to rank 😫 I'm sure I'll see this tomorrow and say to myself "What did I think yesterday??". Everything's fluid and constantly changing but that's why I prefer tiers over strict ranking with places.

Best:

Netherlands 🇳🇱 - What do I even say? Joost completely satisfied the insane expectations I'd had for him. He was the sole reason eventually I learned how to use a vpn. I consider him my entryway to the Dutch culture, I've known him for almost a year and he's managed to become special to me as an artist, almost like in a completely different tier. I am definitely biased lol but I just love the song lyrically (I already elaborated on it here), musically and trust him as a performer 100%. Televote win is in the air!

Switzerland 🇨🇭 - Now this is, my dear friends, my winner vibes this year (out of the more viable entries)! Jury will most likely tank Joost and I can see Nemo getting high points from both juries and tele. The Code has just a perfect amount of drama and theatricality. It connects pop and opera - a mix that I'm a sucker for and additionally, is lyrically meaningful to me on a personal level. How could I not love this??? I'm impatiently looking forward to Nemo's looks and turquoise carpet!

Belgium 🇧🇪 - If not Switzerland, at least let Belgium win. This has some anthemic quality that draws me instantly. Takes quite a long time to get to the climax but it's soo worth it. The lyrics are a mystery to me and it still doesn't take away from the song. I might be biased because I already explored some of Mustii's discography and I love what I found.

Spain 🇪🇸 - The instrumental is a biiig part of why I love this song so much. Those synths make me euphoric every time, the message is beautifully unapologetic. I am worried about the vocals though. I've read somewhere that in Benidorm Fest the way Mery sang was an intentional nod to some other popular singer but there's no way anyone outside of Spain knows that. And even when I know that I still lack the cultural context to grasp the significance. If this doesn't get changed this aspect will definitely hold them back.

Ps. If I ever get a cat (as Baby Lasagna has been tempting me since Dora) I am naming it Zorra, mark my words.

Finland 🇫🇮 - This is just pure fun and I'm buying it! It saddens me to see people complaining thy're just a copy of Käärijä, they take themselves so much less seriously lol. The descending shorts with fireworks concept AND the eagle sounds are everything. On top of that the guys are already the highlight of this year's backstage. I will be super sad if this nqs but then semis are televote only so there's still hope 🙏

Amazing:

Slovenia 🇸🇮 - There is something magnetically drawing me to this song. I love how Slovenian sounds in it, the harsh "r" sounds and almost bird-like "rrahh" especially. Raiven's voice and stage presence are hypnotizing. Besides, Weronika is my 3rd name and the only one I chose for myself so I feel personally connected to the song. Musically this is not the easiest entry and I don't expect many televoters to get it (please just q a dalej niech się dzieje wola nieba) but I hope the atmosphere of the performance will make up for it.

Croatia 🇭🇷 - I still can't believe Baby Lasagna was a backup entry for Dora. If he ends up winning there should be a little shrine for Zsa Zsa built in Zagreb. Meanwhile the Dora executives should really ask themselves how the hell they initially declined an entry that ended up giving them a chance for the best placing since god knows when. Anyways, the hype for this was the highest around Dora, now I'm busy obsessing over others but this is very solid still. I wish the staging was less messy. I kinda don't believe it can win realistically but I certainly wouldn't be disappointed.

Australia 🇦🇺 - It's crazy how my opinion on One Milkali took a complete u-turn. From "I don't think it's my type of music" to "Gosh, I can't get it out of my head". The song does feel a bit dated but somehow special as well. Perhaps that's because I found other songs from Electric Fields that I fell in love with. I still think their 2024 is not the strongest track from their discography and I'm mentally preparing for an NQ :|

Portugal 🇵🇹 - Well, I'm myself super surprised that Grito surpassed Ramonda when it comes to ballads. I didn't feel anything for the first few listens and then something clicked. I sense until May there might be some shuffles around those positions and a lot will be down to the live performances

Latvia 🇱🇻 - Dons' monumental vocals is what makes this song 200x better. It flows nicely, the staging is lacking but that will surely get improved, right? 👀 He seems like such a fun guy with a distance to himself, the butter tiktoks will be remembered for a long time.

Lithuania 🇱🇹 - It took some time for it to grow on me. Lithuanian sounds nice here, almost like Polish, and I like the bridge(?) with the lyrics about radio. The chorus melody is kinda annoying but the rest of the song compensates for it. Tbh I like either Latvia or Lithuania more based on how my mood changes.

Cyprus 🇨🇾 - I know it's a pretty standard girlbop but I just like it for some reason. Silia's energy is highly contagious. Hoping she can prove the gossips wrong and deliver vocally while dancing.

Good:

Ukraine 🇺🇦 - I think it's a decent entry. When Jerry and alyona won Vidbir they were pretty high in my ranking but with the rest of the entries being revealed that advantage faded gradually. Contrary to e.g. Slovenia, Teresa & Maria felt catchy and interesting at the beginning but the longer I listened to it the more repetitive it became. I can see this being an advantage in the televoting though. With that being said, it's far from being the most winning-worthy song and I'd rather root for a country that didn't score two wins already in the last decade.

Sweden 🇸🇪 - from the first time I saw this I fell in love with the staging. Loreen had a horizontal sandwich last year, this year it's a vertical one for the twins lol. I do admit the staging is a huge part of why it's so high but I do like this song. Hell, I even think it's better than Air. The last part especially, right before the end. What can I say, I hear those synths and I'm sold. It will make a good opener.

Greece 🇬🇷 - I'm still not sure why it's so high. I don't vibe with the idea for the music video (please don't try to adapt it for stage. No more cringey overlays, don't catch this virus from TVP). The parts I find highly enjoyable are the opening and ending sung in this high(?) voice, the middle is more like my guilty pleasure.

France 🇫🇷 - I really liked the trick with standing back from the microphone but even without it it's a powerful enough ballad. Slimane as a singer sells it, that's it.

Serbia 🇷🇸 - For another year I find myself in love with the sound of Serbian language. The words "lila ramonda" flow so well in the chorus and complement each other in terms of sounds. The song is almost like a lullaby, with the forward-backward movement that Teya makes during the last chorus underscoring that even more. Another beautiful moment is when the flower rises from above her at the end. The performance makes this song for me as musically I preferred Lik u ogledalu, which was kinda uncoordinated on stage with those mirrors.

Estonia 🇪🇪 - I was really a fan of this song around January and then something happened, maybe the Eesti Laul final performance? It was messy vocally and staging-wise. For now I can't really pinpoint what else is wrong but one thing is sure: this really fell more than a few places for me :/

Poland 🇵🇱 - I'm so tired of the Polish internet at this point that I'll be cheering for Luna no matter what happens. This is a song I liked from the start and still do and I sincerely hope she manages to pull it off on stage decently, I don't care whether because she' naturally a good vocalist or gets a lot of training or gets tape backing vocals. Seeing how strong this year is I'm doubting whether Karma or Justyna would score much better.

Austria 🇦🇹 - This grew on me a bit, enough to move from average to good. Not seeing the winner hype at all and as I mentioned somewhere earlier her staging is my pet peeve. If this ends up anywhere near how the mv looks like then I'll be seriously disappointed. This is a song about raving after all and making a Chanel-like choreo-heavy girlbop out of it seems so unnecessary.

Average:

Luxembourg 🇱🇺 - The funky droplet sounds(?) are quite up my alley, the song is quite fun on its own. Please change that outfit on stage, it's too dark for how happpy Fighter sounds imo. While the result of the Luxembourgish nf is not that bad I do hope they change it before the next year. Forcibly pairing artists with not-their-own songs almost always ends up badly and come on, why restrict their creativity and authenticity? It's not 2013 anymore.

UK 🇬🇧 - That's kind of a classic example of expectations vs reality. Dizzy is painfully correct and nothing more BUT I think it can still be rescued by the live performance. If they manage to bring the spinning rooms idea to life and miraculously nothing breaks and if Olly uses his charisma which he has plenty of. If you don't believe me watch It's a sin with Elton John or mv to Starstruck.

Italy 🇮🇹 - My biggest problem here is with the instrumental, it's grating and scratches my brain in a very annoying way. I like Angelina's expression on stage and all that but the song is just a barrier impossible to ignore. If Italy wants to win again please, may it be with something better (I wouldn't say no to Annalisa).

Ireland 🇮🇪 - I'm generally very glad Bambie won, this is surely progress made from the last year. Normally I'm not a fan of pagan elements, zodiac signs, etc. but the mv is very aesthetically pleasing. The quieter parts are digestible to my ears, the noisier ones not so much. People keep saying it's a chance for Ireland to qualify but honestly I'm of the opinion it will repel majority of the televoters. It will be very interesting to see how it's going to play live with staging, outfits and turquoise carpet nonetheless.

Norway 🇳🇴 - I think Norway might be the biggest fall this year, or even since I'm more engaged in ESC. This went straight up from amazing to barely average. In theory Ulveham has everything I should love - Norwegian, rock mixed with folk, powerful and charismatic vocalist. I still don't know exactly what doesn't work. It's no mystery I loved Mileo and thought Damdiggida was a letdown compared to other Keiino's songs so I don't think Norway had a better option in the MGP final than Gåte. What I like is the staging, especially the moment Gunnhild bends backwards and leans on her hand (somehow with her vocals remaining flawless!!) but that's not enough to charm me back :c

Weak:

Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - It's a pleasant ballad but doesn't distinguish itself enough to be memorable. I appreciate the use of Azerbaijani (Azeri?), I don't appreciate the presence of Ilkin Dovlatov. What does he even bring to this song?

Denmark 🇩🇰 - That's just a very competent song with a good vocalist, almost no more things to say. I'm not a fan of the platform she was standing on. Also I have a weird aversion to the DMGP stage, it looks like a waterwell so it will probably be better in Malmö lol.

Armenia 🇦🇲 - As much as everyone seems to be loving Jako, to me it's rather grating. From what I was able to see I appreciate Jaklin's energy live but that's about it. It doesn't help that it's constantly stuck in my head while I'd prefer it not to.

San Marino 🇸🇲 - This just doesn't do anything to me. Feels almost too funky while I thoroughly enjoyed the heavier vibe of Arcadia. Maybe that's unfair to compare so much but I can't help it. In a weaker year I wouldn't mind for Megara to qualify but this time maybe make some room for better songs (Latvia please?).

Iceland 🇮🇸 - Jak do tego doszło nie wiem/How did it come to this? The results of Söngvakeppnin left me speechless this year and the drama afterwards left a very bad taste. Scared of heights is not a super bad song after all but it's biggest mistake is blandness. A sure NQ that I will not cry for.

Bad:

Albania 🇦🇱 - The revamp took all the kick and power out of this. The rap part turned into a shadow of itself. Contrary to many, I don't mind the language change. I can't say I liked the song before, I like it even less now. I do appreciate the mv though, it's so crisp.

Czechia 🇨🇿 - I'm sorry, I just can't ignore the live when judging this. Even if I did I still don't think Pedestal would end up much higher. I don't vibe with the shouty chorus and an nth rendition of the Mugler suit this year, the visuals in the mv are much more pleasant though and I'd like them to go that direction in Malmö.

Malta 🇲🇹 - The revamp broke it, I'm sorry. What else can I say? Didn't like it before, like it even less now. Case similar to Albania.

Georgia 🇬🇪 - This track is so noisy and overproduced that I can't remember the melody line even after multiple listens. Too dynamic, too much of everything all at once. I guess the song is not that bad, I just dislike the fact that it takes effort to make a song this overloaded and yet Georgia succeeded.

Moldova 🇲🇩 - I know I said that was the only option for Moldova but I can't help but skip this one every time it comes up on my playlist. The only catchy part is the chorus melody, all without words. I actively dislike the live performance, there's something disturbing in the way they all look and move the same way.

Germany 🇩🇪 - Eh. Every time I listen to this I physically cringe at the sound of the elephant in the chorus. The supposedly African inspiration feel disingenuous and very 2010s to me. James Newman fate is what I predict awaits this entry.

[chocodile]

Some little “potion bottles” I made for Halloween!

There may be a few special cameos in there along with the typical Halloween fare...

[fauchart]

2023

The best pieces for each month... It makes it rather obvious which were my off months, but at least I managed to fill this up entirely, and that's a win in my book ♥

Template under the cut:

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

[furiosophie]

[nekohrine]

just got scrivener and I'm SO excited about all the Cool Writing Things I can do now

[1shimaru]

It’s been kind of difficult for me artistically this year, but I was able to sparkle on! ✌️ ✨

previous years

[not-xpr-art]

My 2022 Art Summary ~

this certainly was... a year lol...

struggled a lot with art block and general lack of motivation this year, but there are definitely a few pieces I made that I'm proud of so... it's not all bad lol

thank you so so SO much to everyone who supported me and my art this year <3

[dunderella]

2022's art summary!! worked on a bunch of things this year, and i'm currently prepping my next project! hoping to have it ready for Vancaf, but even if not done by then i'm happy to finally have something of my own to work on again (something that's not day job or freelance related at least) (❁´◡`❁)!!!!

[eternal-brainrot]

i have been playing dress up with my plushies and made them new outfits hehe B) xie lians crown prince outfit is sooo pretty so i desperately wanted to make it!!! 

technically didnt make hua cheng a whole new outfit but i made IMPROVEMENTS and finally added his boot chains (after almost a whole year of saying i would do so lol), and stitched the pattern on his belt and vambraces in metallic thread (it is metallic and shiny irl i promise ;-;)

also random fun details i want to show!!!!!

hua chengs little braid!!!

EMING <333

he is holding a little felt silver butterfly on his hand hehe

xie lians single earring (notice where the other one went hehe)

ruoye!!!!!

[gorawe114]

i was lazy af this year lmao oh well, maybe the next one will be nicer!

[goldsainz]

THEY BROKE UP? — one shot.

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

MASTERLIST.

NOTE: i’m a sucker for angst😁 i don’t know why i felt so inspired, i have never been in a relationship. or what drove me to write that article, which i didn’t spend as much time on as you would think, i guess i was inspired. please enjoy this, happy danny ric grand prix (not anymore😐)!!! this is my longest social media piece to date (templates by @mybodywakesup)

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yourusername my EP “FWD” is out in all streaming platforms! this EP comes from a very deep, personal and heartfelt place. many nights of non-stop writing led to me putting out 4 songs i never would’ve released months ago. thank you for giving me time to come back as the best version of myself.

view all 30,707 comments

selenagomez I am so happy you released this! The world needs to see all of your talent shine ❤️

⤷ yourusername thank you for being there sel 🫶

ynfan1 I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HEARTBREAKING THIS WOULD BE

ynfan2 oh so we’re back to making us cry

dannielfan1 things i wish you said is so about daniel

user1 after 9 months of no content she just puts out four songs?

⤷ ynfan3 please read her newest vogue article before commenting things like this

alexademie i’m in love with you?

⤷ yourusername i’m in love with you too?

ynfan3 LONESOME BEST SONG!!!!!

When I got the call that Y/N Y/L/N wanted to do the article with Vogue, and that I was appointed as the writer I remember thinking ‘What will I say?’. There isn’t much to prepare you when a celebrity like her decides she wants you in her home, opening up about her hardships with you there to listen and write it all down. But, alas, I put my nerves beside me and took all of the questions the world wanted answers to, to the only woman who could answer them. 

Her house in the English countryside is just as perfect as you would expect. With dark mahogany floors, potted plants everywhere and white walls that are filled with different memories she framed, Y/L/N’s home is made for those who love the feeling of being at home. It brims with a cosy feeling, from the rugs she picked which bring an unexpected, yet welcome, warmth, to the open space that shows off her beautiful backyard. Y/L/N’s house is nothing short of exceptional. If each room were to speak to me they would all rave about how comfortable they feel, how there is no other that feel like a ‘home’ quite like theirs.

The moment I arrived at her front door, she was the one to open the door and greet me with a hug. There was no one but us at her house, nothing but the comfortable silence and the occasional chirping of a bird. Her outfit was casual, with some Stella McCartney jeans, a Prada silk blouse which she wears with the top 3 buttons open, and a pair of Hermes sandals, it all made her look relaxed whilst still looking polished. She offered me a single-couch to sit down on, offering me different options of beverages she proudly concocted. I opted for a refreshing blueberry lemonade, while she had an already drunk, half-full glass of orange juice. 

After what seemed like forever without her presence on red carpets, premieres or her famous F1 paddock appearances, Y/N Y/L/N created an enjoyable life for herself. She admits that even though there have been many hardships, she has pushed through them as best as she can. “Sometimes you just have to take a break, take a moment to look around and wonder what you really need.” She expresses, “This life isn't for everyone. I am very happy with how things turned out for me, and there is not one day I regret what I’ve done. But, there are moments in which things get out of control and space is needed.”

On the outside, Y/L/N has always appeared to the masses as someone who never falters in her step. From her modelling debut when she was freshly 18 years old, turning herself into the face of Prada back in 2012 when the whole world wondered ‘Just who is this girl?’. It wasn't long before she delved into the acting world, with her first role in 2014 for the critically acclaimed film ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’ as ‘Agatha’. Everyone loved her, wondering what her next move would be, so the whole world was shaken when just a year later she released an album. ‘Honeymoon’ took the world by a storm, with emotional lyrics that only added to the mystery of who she was, Pitchfork said “It's an album about love, but "love", as Y/L/N sings it, sounds like mourning. The romance here is closer to addiction—something that's sought for its ability to blot out the rest of life's miseries…”. Nobody knows who drove her to write this, but the speculations never stopped, not to this day. On the inside, however, she struggled to know who she really was.

She talks about not having the right skills to cope with the sudden fame, how overwhelming it all would really be. Still, she never stopped putting out new content for her fans. Nobody could forget the girl who despite all the luxury that surrounded her, uploaded vlogs to youtube about her life. No one could take away her raw authenticity.

Maybe that is why when in May of 2022 her posts on Instagram, Twitter and Youtube came to a sudden halt, fans wondered what happened to her. What made Y/N Y/L/N drop from the face of the earth? Why did she stop appearing everywhere? 

The talk never ceased, the world could not let go of the woman they had grown up with and learned to love over a decade ago. “It was weird seeing all those rumours while I battled to know who I was. I tried as hard as I could to drown it all out, so I uninstalled every single social media app I had. I ended my connection with the world to reconnect with myself.” She says. “It was hard, but it was truly what I had wanted for a while.”

Since she appeared in the spotlight, her relationships or lack of, has been questioned. “I watched my female peers struggle to get away from their love lives, how every interviewer didn't care for the projects they were in, but rather who they were with at the time.” She recalls. “I was in a relationship with who I thought was the love of my life, for almost 7 years. It is rather jarring coming to terms that sometimes people grow, and that you are the one that needs out of a relationship which is nothing short of special. My concept of love was tarnished by a guy who was older than me, and another guy who was just as immature as I was. So naturally, I was swept off my feet when suddenly, all I ever knew wasn't how I thought it was.” 

Even now, after the heartbreaking experience she went through, Y/L/N only has kind words to say about the man she loved. “He is a true gentleman, he knew me like no one else did. I guess, along the way, I stopped knowing myself. That was the problem.” She says. “How can someone else know me when I don't even know myself? I asked myself that a lot. I like to think I know myself better now, I learned how to love every part of me, and that was the most rewarding journey. It wasn’t his fault, but I couldn't love someone else without loving me first.”

Self Love is a very important part of her life now. She puts her well-being over her need to succeed, something that made her iconic, was destroying her slowly. “Being an ‘icon’ to many stuck me in a box. There was an underlying feeling of having to always outperform others and myself, it was exhausting and that was how I started losing sight of myself.”

When talking about her future projects, Y/L/N expressed that she was “taking her time”. No more would she be walked over and feel pressured to put out new content, opting for a more relaxed and controlled lifestyle. Though she once was everywhere everyday, she now hopes to be mentioned when she does something valuable and not when she is merely existing. 

“I do have an EP coming out. It is just four songs, but I wrote them alone, and they are my most special songs to date.” She says. “One thing I do not want happening is for people I care for to be harassed or accused of things they are not responsible for. Music is a creative outlet for me, it is never made with the intention to hurt anyone.” She adds. “‘things i wish you said’ is my favourite. It’s the first one I wrote after my breakup, which makes it the rawest out of all of them. I think that's why I like it so much, the other three were written in different periods of my life, some even years ago. It will be fun seeing everyone dissect them.”

She decided to keep the EP to just four songs because all the others were too personal or she decided to keep them for another time. “I’m sure the world would love to know all the nooks and crannies of my past relationship, but that is something I would like to keep between him and me. I am ready to move on from all the pain, to leave it all in the past. If people want to remain stuck there, that is their own choice, I choose to be free and continue growing.”

Y/L/N’s journey is far from finished. She has not even turned 30 yet, but she redirects her narrative because it just does not fit her anymore. She is not that young 18 year-old girl who knows nothing, but rather a 28 year-old woman “ready to move on” as she puts it. 

At that point in our conversation, her previously relaxed demeanour has only grown. With her legs tucked on the black leather couch she has in her wide living room, an arm resting on a deep magenta pillow, she is in her own space. Y/L/N smiles and pays attention to every question I ask, she has no qualms in sharing. Though she sometimes opted to give no comment about certain situations, not once did she feel offended or made me feel out of place. 

As our conversation came to an end, she gave me one final piece of advice: “Only you can decide what's best for you. Once you learn how to manage other people’s opinions, there is nothing that can truly stop you from being uniquely you. Love yourself, you have one life, why live it in misery?”

liked by ynfan21, danielfan21 and 103,859 others

yndanielenthusiast i will never forget when they both posted the same picture to hard launch their relationship

view all 1,558 comments

ynfan22 what if this was my 13th reason?

ynfan23 we all remember where we were when this dropped

⤷ danielfan22 i woke from a nap, checked instagram and screamed so loud my parents thought someone died

⤷ ynfan23 so real

user21 missing them hours

ynfan24 nothing could’ve prepared for y/n confirming their breakup. nothing.

danielfan23 I NEED THEM BACK

⤷ ynfan25 THOSE TWO WERE LITERALLY MY PARENTS

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 462,071 others

danielricciardo Don’t leave me hangin 🙃

view all 6,931 comments

ynfan31 y/n liking this😭

danielfan31 IM SO HAPPY HES HAPPY WITH RBR

ynfan32 say what you want abt y/n (don’t) but she’s handling the situation very maturely

danielfan32 he’s smiling while we’re all in shambles smh

⤷ danielfan33 right???

user31 I need him back on track asap

user32 am i delusional to think the caption means something else or…

⤷ ynfan33 yes.

⤷ danielfan34 yes.

liked by danielricciardo, taylorswift and 1,925,836 others

yourusername many things to come 🥂

view all 28,887 comments

ynfan41 istg if she says an album is coming

⤷ ynfan42 it would be crazy but i don’t think so

zendaya cheers to that!

liked by yourusername

user41 her smile &lt;3

danielfan41 ariana what r u doing here🤨

taylorswift 🍾🍾🍾

⤷ ynfan43 I’M SCARED WHAT’S GOING ON

ynfan44 she has something cooking and i am not prepared

[bomberqueen17]

stencils

ah i did the stencils on tuesday and i forgot to post about it! i have been Out Of Sorts lately and also i remembered how to post on instagram so i put it there and then forgot i had not put it here.

BEHOLD

[image description: a teal wall with yellow-orange trim, stenciled with a tiled pattern of metallic gold stars over the entire surface]

I bought this stencil and some metallic gold "stencil creme" paint, and a stencil brush, and just spent an entire day doing it.

Yeah I should've started at the top left and worked over, but I started at the middle right and worked out instead. i might go back and add points to the top border and circles to the left border. Not sure. Not urgent either way.

The directions they give you on the website mention that a dry brush is critical to stenciling success, and this is a thing I did already know; i have stenciled mostly t-shirts in my time, with dumb bullshit stencils I cut out of manila folders. But they tell you to load up the brush and then take most of the paint off the brush with paper towels, and let me tell you my stencil creme pot barely covered this wall and would not have if I'd put most of the paint onto perfectly good paper towels. So what I did instead is, I went to the grocery store and I got a cannoli, and then I washed out the container it came in, and then I cut the container at the hinges and made myself two paint trays, and one of them I used as a pallette to mix the paints for the outlet covers, and the other half I used as a roller tray to paint the windowsill, then rinsed and used for this. I had that plastic tray nice and dry and I loaded up the brush and then worked that brush around on the plastic, and it was good and dry and then when I came back I could pick up the paint I'd offloaded onto that plastic, and use almost all of it. And later in the process I added a few drops of water to that pallette, and I was able to thin the paint just a tiny bit, just enough to get it to flow a little better but not so much it went under the edges of the stencil.

[image description: a white-stained clear plastic tray with a pot of gold paint sitting in it, a stencil brush propped on the edge, faint traces and blobs of gold paint swirled around it.] when I added a few drops of water they'd collect in the fluted bits around the edges, so if I wanted them I could go swipe the brush there, and if I didn't they stayed out of the way.

I could have been more exacting and precise in my stencil placement, but I knew I had to just do it, so I just did it. Used a level, discovered that the level disagreed with the ceiling and the floor, remembered that this house like all houses is in fact handmade, and so my imperfections would just have to harmonize with the imperfections built in by the builders and the 75 years of settling and whatnot. So I was Zen about it and it worked out.

[image description: a wide shot of the kitchen showing gray cabinets and unadorned blue wall: the stencil is spotless, taped up with blue painter's tape, a stepladder beneath it with a yellow level sitting on it.]

I used painter's tape. The tutorials say you can spray the back of the stencil with spray adhesive to keep it tight against the wall and reduce bleed at the edges. I own spray adhesive, and I know it's sticky as hell and gets on everything. No thanks, I figured I didn't need it, and I don't regret that, I had no problems. I have, as it happens, stenciled a lot of things in my life.

I should make some more stupid stenciled t-shirts, they've been fun.

[image source: two repeats of the stencil have been applied to the wall, and now the plastic stencil template is taped sideways at the bottom of the wall.]

It's a well-designed stencil, and the way you lined it up is that some of the elements are designed to repeat so you just plop them over the previous version. I hadn't premeditated or measured this, but it turned out the last repeat, I could just turn it sideways and it tiled beautifully that way too. No problems. Worked great. The stencil creme paint dried fast enough that there was no problem overlaying it like this either, though I did make a point of doing the ones I was going to overlap first so they'd have the longest to dry. I doubt that mattered.

[image description: the stencil template laid over the edge of a previous repeat, showing a blue edge where the previous repeat doesn't quite align with the new placement.]

This is where me not doing math was maybe a problem. I was not perfectionist about this, I just sometimes accepted that the template had shifted slightly on the previous repeat, and while it lined up perfectly in one spot, it would not quite line up in another. I gambled that this would not matter, and in fact took this photo to check. After I removed the template this time, I went back to photograph this spot to see how the misalignment looked, and... couldn't find it. Could not tell, even though I knew where it had been. So obviously it did not matter. (In these cases, I did not touch up the edges of the misaligned bits, I left them as they'd originally been stenciled. The other elements were not far enough off the anticipated alignment for it to be noticeable. A touch-up would have been more noticeable, an element becoming oversized or slightly misshapen or having a visible edge of layered pigment in it.)

[image description: the stencil template crammed against the edge of the wall, bent and roughly taped in place, and the light switch, plate removed, poking through one of the holes at the right.]

This was the trickiest bit. I just held one hand against wherever I was working, flattening that bit of the stencil to the wall as I worked, and then I'd let go and put my hand on the next bit, and maybe they weren't perfectly in alignment with the previous bits but as long as the stencil was touching the wall well right where I was working, it was a good enough result. The light switch was a bit of a problem and i should properly have removed it but I wasn't about to do that so I didn't. I did the inward-facing points of the leftmost stars, and then did not try to do the upward-downward points or the circles, because it was too hard to get the stencil flat right there. I could go back and add them now, and I might yet, using the very edge of the template, We'll see if I do. It looks fine as it is.

[image description: a plain blue wall with a double outlet plate in it, and the points of the eight-pointed star are around it, protruding from behind the lightswitch plate.]

I had always intended to stencil an element behind the light switch plates on the plain walls, because I felt they don't stand out enough against the teal. I did one, and then realized it was impossible to center it and hard not to get paint on other bits of the walls, since the stencil template is so huge and was covered in paint from doing the whole wall. I realized then that it's just points and I could freehand those. So I did, this is me freehand faux-stenciling the star around this outlet plate, LOL.

[image description: the darkened kitchen early in the morning, under-cabinet lights on but the room dim, and in the distance the wall is shining]

anyway so the next morning i went out and was sitting at the window and turned around and was like "this looks amazing" so I am well pleased with how it turned out, really and truly.

[fereldanwench]

I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!

(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)

Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):

So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.

Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.

The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Times™️. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.

But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.

One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.

Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.

Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.

Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.

I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. ♡

And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. ✌️

[lesbiansovereverything]

EVERLYN

A female family member of mine got married to a man in the middle of the COVID pandemic. So I watched the heterosexual coupling via Zoom. She wore a white dress with a long flowing train and a veil that hid her face; a spectacle of patriarchal heteronormativity. After the vows were said, and just before kissing the bride, her husband turned to the camera and announced with glee, “This is the first time we will be kissing!” They had been dating for three years.

In that moment, I saw the future and person my family had envisioned and engineered for me. One that I had escaped by coming out. The box and script that I was supposed to fit into and follow was made visible in the person of my relative and I mourned for her – wishing that this was what she genuinely wanted and had chosen and not the script that she was unconsciously following in order to win the approval of her parents and her community. But I’ve also known her since birth and I mourned because I knew different.

I’d escaped the same fate by coming out at 19. My rebellion had begun long before that in small ways, easily dismissed by family and community as eccentricisms that would be corrected once I followed the “plan.” But coming out as a lesbian sealed the deal for my family – as it was THE scarlet letter that could never be erased from my forehead. For me, however, it was a joyfully revelatory catalyst that embedded in me the surety that I could eschew scripts, jump from boxes, carve a life without templates of heterosexism, gender conformity, and sexual confinement – a knowledge that I had the freedom to choose something other than the life that had been set out by society and family.

My brother reacted by saying, “I feel as if you’re getting away with something. I just don’t know what.” I didn’t either – not then. But now I do. Somewhere deep inside, without having the words for it, I knew that what I wanted as a child–to be a Renaissance Woman who felt free to pursue a life of intellectual, physical, and creative freedom–was impossible under the regime of heteronormativity and female sexual subjugation that I saw all around me. And so many years later, having come out publicly at age 19, I look back and can honestly say that I am that Renaissance Woman I envisioned myself to be when I was seven.

*Everlyn Hunter immigrated to the US from Jamaica at the age of 14. Her educational accomplishments include Masters and Doctoral degrees in Psychology, as well as a diploma from Vancouver Film School in Writing for Television and Film. Concurrent with her professional work, Everlyn has held numerous leadership roles as a board member of non-profit human rights, Jewish, and LGBT organizations. Dr. Hunter currently lives in Los Angeles where she works as a Psychologist. In her spare time, she is a student pilot who loves flying, and an aspiring jazz vocalist. She is currently working on her first full length novel.

[coveredinredpaint]

i made a plague doctor mask!!

so i needed a costume for my halloween party tomorrow (dont mind the fact that were celebrating halloween two weeks after its already passed) and ive wanted to go as plague doctor for years now but didnt feel comfortable buying a shitty mask i was just going to wear once anyway, well i found this amazing post with a template for making your own plague doctor mask!! as you can see i didnt quilt it cause ive never have done that before and didnt have a lot of time on my hands

without actually following the instructions like any other person and working on a sewing machine i never used before with some drawn instructions for myself i managed to make one!

i used old jeans i already partially cut up for patches as fabric, the eyecovers are made from an old panty (you can see through em really well), and the belt buckle i had still laying around from an old bag which was falling apart. i also added lining on the inside which i made from black jeans to increase visibility (if the inside of the mask is dark its easier to see through the mask for the wearer)

he did turn out a bit too big but ill fix that in the future. overall a really good result for my first try id say, also the mask is very easy to breath in which is great.