#i mean NO SURPRISE i cant get past it bc it will almost kill the poor protagonist from sadness but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atherix · 2 years

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ITS TIME TO SCREAM AGAIN I AM CRACKING MY FINGERS I AM TYPING IN A WORD DOC LETS GO. @ your lovely readers I need you all to know I read this at 7 in the morning and it is the sole reason I even woke up bc atherix SENT ME A DM BEING LIKE ‘You’re welcome’ WITH NO CONTEXT BUT I KNEW! I KNEW!!!

God the combination of the current agitation with the previous peace is such a good parallel to how Past worked as a little buffer between the previous parts of Midnight and now, how things are starting to really ramp up rapidly. But also – who did take the picture? Gem? The Beans? Grian or Mumbo? So many options. Well I guess it cant be Grian or Mumbo since he’s actively wondering who took the photo unless Mumbo was hanging around during the staff carving without Grian which I doubt. And it’s such a small thing too and yet it feels so normal in the middle of this just utter chaos that is the three of them almost dying. [The four of them, I saw how Scar looked. Well. Read. Saw. You get me.]

AND THEN THE SPLIT SECOND WHERE GRIAN THINKS SCAR MIGHT FOLLOW THE WATCHERS? DIRECTLY FOLLOWING GRIAN LOOKING AT THESE PEACEFUL PHOTOS?????/ THE PARALLELS AT PLAY HERE FHSKJFLK And that split second of Grian being like “No no no nononono-“ god I’m so happy they’re gonna talk next chapter, it’s a very good thing Grian didn’t act on his immediate instinct to panic and instead actually used his brain for longer than a second, but oh my god. It is a good thing they’re going to talk. I need them to talk. I need Grian to s p i l l because to some extent he’s spilt sure, but scar and mumbo have said SO much more than he’s said even to just mumbo or you know. Us. The readers. And lkgshfd I need them to TALK about it oh my god and then also the way grian goes ‘it doesn’t matter I trust scar’ and puts it back sadklgsd esp coupled with how he and Scar argue later in the story I am screaming. Also this part – “because he’s not an Observant anymore, either. Maybe in more ways than one, he thinks.” YEAH, GRIAN. YEAH. A LITTLE BIT. ‘Godling’. Whatever.

The way he’s compelled to look at this thing though, at the last page? I am FROTHING at the mouth for watcher stuff oh my god. That whole passage hit me right in the religious trauma. I may have made notes. Ahem. “to Judge and Weigh the hearts of those who threaten thy Chosen” So I’m gonna scream about this until you tell us what the chosen is. BTW. “This is what it means to be a Watcher, and this Pantheon shall not entertain the Wretched Gods who turn their backs on these Tenets” Grian ‘I don’t remember this part in the book/I don’t remember the watchers acting according to their tenets’ BABY WHY DO YOU THINK YOU KILLED THEM. ALSO. TERRIFIED FOR THE MULTIPLE IMPLICATIONS IN THE TENETS FOR GRIAN. BTW. I SEE YOU. “Observe that which does not belong to thee” I SEE YOU and the way it tells him to find his PEOPLE and it seems to be speaking directly TO HIM IM!!!!!!! The fact that he answers his own question in a sense because he makes sure to point out they’re his family. His people. His place.

ALSO THE FACT THAT THIS THE FIRST TIME GRIAN HAS FLOWN SINCE HE WAS CLIPPED AND ITS TO GO DO SOMETHING TO IRREVOCABLY STUPID THAT I WANT TO SHAKE HIM LIKE A BAG OF DRIED BEANS!!!! GRIAN!!!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE BUT FRANKLY THIS IS DUMB ENOUGH THAT YOU DESERVED THE ABSOLUTE SCARE ON YOUR LIFE BLONDIE FUCKING GAVE YOU TO BE HONEST!!!!!!! Oh and I love that while he’s doing this ridiculously dumb thing he’s also being smart about how he gets into the house IM GONNA THROTTLE HIM!!!! FRANKLY SCAR MIGHT ALSO THROTTLE HIM BASED ON HIS REACTION LATER ON-

Speaking of Scar, the little signs that he’s been in the manor more and more, that he’s *theirs* and they are *his* is so asladksh I am in love. Especially considering this whole chaotic day started with them trying to get the sunroom together to surprise Scar. I am emotional about it. AND THEY WAY IT LENDS HIMSELF TO GRIAN REALLY LEANING INTO HIS POSSESSIVE STREAK, WHICH I GESTURE ABOVE BACK TO THE TENETS ABOUT, MIND YOU.

ASDGFSH; Grian. Sweetie. I am throttling you personally. ‘Coming here alone was stupid’ YEAH IT WAS, TURN AROUND AND GO BACK OUT THE WINDOW, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO WE GOTTA GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FACE DOWN THE STARVING VAMPIRE WHO TOLD YOU YOU HAD GODLING BLOOD BC YOU WANT ANSWERS! Picture me absolutely shaking him. Speaking of the vampire, the way Blondie MANGLED their home as a reflection of how she mangled them too. Christ. She drives me insane in the worst way, that’s their HOME- [Mumbo get silver out of your HOME I AM ALSO THROTTLING HIM!!!!!]

This show down though is worth the absolute throttling I want to give Grian. The way he’s thinking about the blood she’s wasting of Mumbos, how he’s worried about his mates, their home, their son. Mm mm mm. Could he have done it better yes. 100% But the way Blondie wrecks him and threatens him and he doesn’t back down means so much to me. This bird drives me insane. And then also this little slip of this new instinct – the wrong wrong wrong [Between you and Mochi the way you have both utilized this is making me FROTH at the MOUTH I am an oversteamed LATTE SDKLGHSFD], the way he also tried to see Blondie without actually seeing her [im assuming that’s what the pressure in the back of his mind was] oh he is SO close to awakening you are going to drive me INSANE.

The way the scent of blood on Blondie makes Grian recoil because he’s seen her take it before without permission and knows that she is like, a nasty vampire, as opposed to Mumbo who has only ever taken blood he had permission for [And I assume isn’t so fucking MESSY] is such a great perpendicular image oh my god. Here are these two creatures who are the same creature and yet they are so different.

“But I will be” SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE! HE BOTH DOES AND DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE’S SAYING. I WANT TO SHAKE HIM AGAIN!!!! “He doesn’t want to be a God. He just wants to be Grian.” Wheres that why not both gif. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THAT BLONDIE REVEALS THAT BC THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY GODLINGS ARE MADE GRIAN DID IT TO HIMSELF – SHE HAS NO IDEA [Or what little she does know I cant imagine it went that in depth] AND ITS DRIVING ME OVER A CLIFF!!!! OH MY GOD I cannot stress enough how happy I am that next ch they are TALKING bc yeah ‘I killed my gods mumbo’ happened but like I truly do not think that’s fully processed in the wet cat of a vampire.

And the fact that she got SO close to doing to Grian what she did to Scar but Mumbo is there to stop it this time makes me INSANE. Mumbo, who watched his wife die. Mumbo, who’s had Scar drank from, had Grian kidnapped because of his blood, had to deal with far too much of Blondie, showing up just a second before she really gets Grian proper. YEAH NO WONDER THE MAN IS LIVID, GRIAN I am shaking him again. Frankly. IT’S A GOOD THING MUMBO HAS BEEN PRACTICING HIS MAGIC. I MEAN. I KNOW HE PRACTICED IT BC HE KNEW HE NEEDED TO PROTECT HIS COVEN BUT HO BOY IT’S A GOOD THING HE PRACTICED HIS MAGIC.

What on earth is the book Tubbo is holding. I’m putting this here to hold on to this thought I’ll get back to this in a bit –

THE FACT THAT MUMBO FEELS GUILTY THAT HE DIDN’T WAKE UP TO HEAR GRIAN SLIPPING OUT TO DO HIS DUMBEST STUNT – YEAH. YEAH. GRIAN DESERVES THE GUILT EATING HIM UP A BIT FOR THIS ONE TBH. Like not to the point of self-deprecative destruction but just a little guilt eating. As a treat.

Sidenote I just got an idea for a monster that eats emotions

AND THEN! THE MOMENT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR! I feel like everyone needs to know that I have been referring to Blondie holding onto Tubbo as a meat shield and a beverage as ‘Capri Sunning’ him. AND IT WAS EVERYTHING. The way she teleports to a bunch of different places to disorient them. The way they have to VERY QUICKLY face the fact that yep. Yep. They see Tubbo as their son. He’s the coven child and she’s GOT him. SDLKFHWG. Very proud of both of them for realizing she was absolutely lying to them about exchanging Tubbo for anybody. Why give up her meat shield. Look at them using their brain cells. And then they immediately stop using their brain cells to dart after a woman who can teleport. I get it. Tubbo is in danger and distress. BUT ITS LIKE THE BRAINCELLS JUST FLEW OUT W THE SCREAMING. Which is what I deserve to be honest. ‘Looks too much like she took a literal bite out of him’ alskdgfdh

AND THEN SCAR, HAVING CLEARLY BEEN THROUGH SOME SHIT OF HIS OWN, READY TO TAKE ON SOME MORE SHIT BECAUSE THAT’S HIS SON. HIS CLAIM. GOD. YES. And the fact that she could have so easily just left with Tubbo or snapped his neck or twisted his head off or dropped him from the third story is not lost on me. Im sure that gonna lead to some absolutely god awful nightmares for Scar and Company.

I also desperately want to know what Scar and Tubbo said to each other. Give me the cruuuuuuumbs. But also “There's a dim Fairy light fluttering by Tubbo's foot, and Blondie doesn't notice it for the shadow blocking it from her view.” The COORDINATION IN THIS SCENE. LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT THEM. THEY ARE MATES AND THAT’S THEIR SON!!!! ABLE TO COMMUNICATE ABSOLUTELY SILENTLY ASKDLFDSH And then the cool, calm, knows his son is okay with his magic that Scar presents as both Mumbo and Grian RUSH forward when Tubbo activates the fairy lights – THIS SCENE IS SO COOL! I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT IT! The visual alone is mesmerizing, but the way it plays into all the magic strengths available to them [obviously not grian bc. No magic yet.] dkflsg AND EVEN THE PENDANT!!! THE PROTECTIVE PENDANT SCAR GAVE HIM! AHHHHH

At this point I feel like we’ve asked how Blondie isn’t dead like 5 times in this series and EVERY time I am gobsmacked she got away in the best way oh she is INSANE and I LOVE it. But also the fact that Tubbo just fucking VAULTED over the handrail the whole family is so in tune with each other oh my god. And all of them gathered around, on the defensive now, scar’s wind picking up I am feeling things.

The explanation of how magic breakdown works is fascinating and I love how they even have time for a little banter about how slow Mumbo feeds but SLFKDG THE PARALLELS BETWEEN MUMBO AND OTHER VAMPIRES IS SO COOL And then the whole brief talk of turning and ‘why do you two care about turning??” these men are wet rats wearing a trenchcoat. “Scar pauses- as if he’s just realized something” I feel like this has to be about like, ways to slow Scar’s Core down from killing him or preventing it all together but SADLKFSH SCAR WHAT DID YOU REALIZE. I THOUGHT WE ALREADY TOOK TURNING OFF THE T – WAIT. WAIT. Other creatures other than vampires feed on blood according to mumbo. HEY ATHERIX – DOES THAT INCLUDE THE VEX??? I NEED TO KNOW FOR SCIENCE REASONS.

AND THEN THE ARGUMENT! OH BOY YOU CAN F E E L THE ADRENALINE RUNNING THROUGH BOTH GRIAN AND SCAR BECAUSE IT GETS SO HEATED AND THEY’RE BOTH SO FREAKED OUT AHH I FEEL SO BAD FOR TUBBO FRANKLY HE DESERVED TO GO OFF. AND THEY WAY SCAR’S MAGIC MOVES WITHOUT HIM SEEMING TO NOTICE TO BE AROUND THEM SALDFKGDFSH And the fact that Grian in all his wisdom recognizes that its not anger its FEAR and he needs to APOLOGIZE lafdkga of all the things he did in this fic that’s gotta be the smartest one tbh. THEY’RE ALL SO POSSESSIVE OF EACH OTHER AUGH AND THE LIL SNIPPET YOU POSTED FOR YOUR ASKS GAME HAS ME GOING INSANE NOW FR.

GO OFF KING TUBBO! I AM SNAPPING MY FINGERS! GO GO GO GO! GO OFF TUBBO!!! CLAP FOR THE BOY EVERYONE CLAPS HE DESERVES THIS HOW WAS THE CATHARSIS TUBBO!!! Also I said it earlier but I will say it again THIS PART -

““And Grian!” Grian almost jolts up at the sound of his name, having never heard Tubbo use it, and even Scar looks surprised as Tubbo turns his ire on Grian, anger fear frustration written across his face. “That stunt you pulled! Leaving us behind to face Myrani by yourself!”

“You did what-” Scar starts, but Tubbo barrels on.”

- IF I WAS GRIAN I WOULD WANT TO BE SET ON FIRE. And you know what Tubbo also deserves to just yell into the night sky. Good for him. Good for you king. Get it out. Someone put Tubbo in a rage room and let him go insane he just got Capri Sun’d and his dads are all being incredibly dumb.

Love also that they only just remembered about Blondie BEING IN THE DAMN MANOR while they’re having this conversation, INCREDIBLY smart on her part to be like “Oh huh uh the wind. Went away. They’re yelling at each other. Deuces.” Also I did NOT miss the fact that while tubbo is STILL going [good for HIM make them SIT DOWN and stop BEING STUPID] Mumbo was also like “Huh you know nows a great time to slide out of here and go. Look. For Blondie yep-“ BUT ALSO TUBBO USING THE PENDANT SCAR GAVE HIM AGAINST SCAR!!! CLAPPING!!!!!

GOD I AM SO READY FOR THEM TO TALK also for those playing along at home, on word we are at 7 PAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And 2449 words.

I am once again answering at almost 3 AM because I have no regard for a proper and healthy sleep schedule <3

I want everyone to know I am the worst and most cryptic friend you can ever have exactly because of stuff like this LMAO-

Haha yesss <3 A big reason I included Midnights Past (other than being super self-indulgent) was a breather episode cause shit has gotten REAL here <3 haha Scar and Mumbo definitely do spend time together alone (mainly when Grian's asleep hkfskjd) but you're right, he definitely wouldn't have been at the staff carving without Grian hjfdskj. I wonder who would be invited to see Tubbo carve his first staff... :) On a completely random aside you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to Grian and Mumbo being added to the wall too. (In b4 "vampires don't have reflections/show up in photos" that is only true if the mirror has a silver backing and photography in the Midnight universe has come far enough to no longer include silver <3) A small moment of peace, reminding Grian what he has to lose <3

HAHA YEAH IMAGINE IF HE HAD FOUND IT WHEN THEY VISITED AQUA TOWN HA HA HA <3 But at this point Grian and Scar have history and they love each other so much so he chooses to trust Scar and think of alternative reasons why Scar might have this thing <3 Because this could have gone very badly if it had happened at any other time lmaooo <3 Hm hm hmmmm we'll see what gets said in the next chapter. But you're definitely right, the next chapter is gonna be a huge Grian chapter bc between the three of them, we've seen the least of his history <3 They shall TALK FINALLY and it will be glorious <3 Well he didn't exactly put it back LMAO he was going to but then the whole uh whisper in his ear thing... and he takes it to the manor with him instead... but still, your point stands <3 YEAH LMAO I was giggling when I wrote that line <3

I love Watcher stuff and am itching to get to the meat of it jhfsdjkfdsjk. AH NO I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE RELIGIOUS TRAUMA but it tracks I think, Grian too has the religious trauma. HA. What if I never confirm or deny what the chosen means. What if I let everyone just assume :) jk jk hjfsdjkfdhj HAHAHA oh yes, there's something there that I cannot WAIT to write about. :) But which I will not expand on here because- well, MAJOR spoilers jhkfdk <3 :) Heheheh yes, that last page.... that will be fun to discuss. I mean it's discussed next chapter but... something about that last page won't be revealed until a certain.. adventure. :) YESSSS I am happy you noticed his thoughts immediately calling back to the passage, as he was actively thinking about it and comparing his situation to it and just hjfdsjkfdskj-

YEAH LMAO I thought to myself "maybe when he catches Tubbo should be the first time he flies since being clipped" which would have been BEAUTIFUL and absolutely heartwarming. Buuuut I also thought "you know, it's totally him to finally fly because he's stubborn and his two braincells are splitting. Hm." hjkfhdskj YEAH he's so SMART and SNEAKY but such a one-track minded bird brain <3 HJFSKJDS LMAO everyone wants to throttle him for this stunt JKFSKLKAS-

Yessssssss makes me want to write a 5 + 1 that shows all the things he's left behind lmao. Cuz something I really loved writing over the course of Midnight is how Scar starts off having never stayed at the manor, instead being a frequent guest at the Inn, and then he stays at the manor when he's too injured to get home, and then he only stays occasionally when either Grian or Mumbo ask/demand he stay, and just starts staying more frequently until he just doesn't go to the Inn anymore (except maybe to say hi to Keralis). He has his own room at the manor now, even if it's unofficially and he doesn't use it anymore because now he's with Grian and Mumbo which means when he stays the night Grian absolutely grabby-hands him for sleepy cuddles, and. I just. I love the evolution of Scar going from having never stayed (willingly) in the manor to pretty much always staying at the manor when he's in Boatem and just hjfdsjkfdsk <3 ANYWAY TANGENT ASIDE but YES Grian leaning into his more possessive side, partly just because he's him and partly because he's trying to push himself... it doesn't work obviously, he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to his magic, BUT! jkfsdjkfdsjk!

Grian, looking at a wall of fire: Yeah I can walk through that UFHSHFKJS he is so. There were so many better ways to get answers. Scar is a history/legends nerd, man, he probably KNOWS. (I say as the author of this story, knowing exactly what Scar does and doesn't know hjkfdsjkfdk) I love Blondie because she's despicable <3 AND YEAH MUMBO with his passive self destruction just. jhkfdslkfdk-

Grian just being like "what a waste" and just jhfdsjkfds their home, their stuff and so much damage, things are ruined and they need to fix it but also there are more important things than fixing broken tile and just hjfdsjkfdkj- He is a reckless and brave bird who doesn't realize he's getting plaid until it's too late because Blondie is a biiiit hard to read, she's such a shit person that he can't tell if the deception and amusement is just her general expression or a sign of something dangerous hjfsdjfdsjk- LOOK I LOVE THE wrong wrong wrong thing, I love the triple repetition of an action or feeling that emphasizes the severity of the action or feeling and just jkfsdjkfkdsj. Idk it just spikes the eerie nervousness, it's so much more tense than just saying "something feels wrong about this situation" and just fhjkdsjkfdskj- YEAH YOU CAUGHT IT he was absolutely trying to pull on his Watcher magic now that he's pretty confident that's what he is. He fails because it's not awakened yet buuuut <3

You act as if Mumbo having blood on his fangs and lips wouldn't drive Grian absolutely wild hkfdJKDJKDSJK but yes, Mumbo is absolutely a much more ethical and neater Vampire than Blondie, who is. Well. She's something else alright. HJfjkdshjfdsjk-

YEAH HE KNOWS BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THIS MEANS HE HAS NO IDEA AND BLONDIE DOESN'T REALLY EITHER BUT SHE HAS MORE OF AN IDEA THAN HE DOES AND IJUST HJDSJHDJKS- Both is good yes LMAO. Grian's gonna have to figure out how to be both at the same time, though <3 AND YEA GRIAN DID IT TO HIMSELF AND WE ALL KNOW HOW BUT HE ISN'T 100% SURE HIMSELF AND JUST JHFSJKDS yes oh man and to think I almost ended this fic without a good and honest talk. They need to figure this out bc oooo man <3 AND YEAH Mumbo has heard those words but has not really realized what it means, in the grander scheme of things. For him he just thinks "Grian can never go back because the Watchers will kill him for what he did" LMAO-

YES. This time Mumbo is there to stop her, he is able to save Grian just in time, and MAN YES MUMBO PRACTICING HIS MAGIC FINALLY IS GONNA BE SUCH A LIFE SAVER HUH. :) Haha I haven't written this certain fic yet (the one that explores Mumbo and Scar's relationship before Grian got involved) but Mumbo is often described by other Vampires as the man who "loses and loses again," besides his general distance he keeps from everyone there is a reason Scar tried so hard to make Mumbo actively dislike him so he'd never hurt him...... :) Which is a feeling that gets properly confronted next chapter by the way <3

Hold onto that thought :)

MUMBO FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM ALL, they're HIS Coven and he's THEIR Lord he should be able to protect them </3 (which we of course know isn't how it fully works but Mumbo is new to these emotions/instincts of his and just hjfsdjkkfds) Grian deserves a tiny bit of gnawing guilt about this yes-

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Hi I need you to DM me asap?

HAHAHAHA you have FINALLY gotten the capri-sun scene JKFHSJKFS dear readers I talked about/described this scene to them ONCE and they have been eagerly waiting for it and I am so happy to finally deliver HJKFHSKJ <3 YESSSS Blondie being able to teleport is so fun because unlike Mumbo's shadow-walking, you don't know where Blondie is going. AND YEAH Blondie even calls him a Coven child jkfdjkfsd if that don't spell it out. (and later on Tubbo even talks about the whole Lord and Coven thing and uses the words we so-) Having no time to process that yes, this child (who is a legal adult but ya know-) is their child now too and AW SHIT fhjjfkgdsjk the moment he gets bitten all logical thought goes out the window and Grian almost faceplants painfully into a few different things hfgdsjkgfdjk but they just want to save him and just. KJDHSJKDS <3

SCAR WILL SQUARE UP FOR HIS SON'S SAKE. He is injured himself, tired and possibly low on magic :) :) but damn, his kid's in trouble and he activated the teleportation glyph in Tubbo's bee glyph SO FAST. Possibly the moment he got a chance- YEAH trust me the nightmares from this are gonna be terrible haha makes a certain future scene :) That you are the only one who knows about :)) a little more :) :) Hm hmm-

hjfgdjkgfdkj it was something very simple, like "Is the pendant charged?" "Not fully, needs magic" jkfsdjkfdjk YEAH Mumbo didn't know what Scar was planning but the moment he saw that Fairy light he knew he needed to hide it from Blondie <3 Once again thank goodness he's been practicing with his magic hjfdsjk BUT YESSSSSS THE COHESIVENESS, THE FLAWLESS WORKING TOGETHER I AM JUST HKFSKJSD YESSS Scar being calm and collected while Mumbo and Grian are like "WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE HECK THAT'S RAW MAGIC" jkfhsdkjhgk let me tell you, I have ALWAYS imagined this scene going that way- with Tubbo using Scar's Fairy light to activate the protection glyph he has <3 jkfsdfdjk AND YES THE SHOWCASE OF ALL THE MAGIC I love it. One day Grian will join in <3 AND YESSS THE MVP PROTECTION PENDANT HHHAHHDS-

At least now we have a bit of an answer <3 kfdsjkfdkj YEAH Tubbo vaulted over like he was so confident that ONE of them would catch him cuz he jumped from the THIRD FLOOR and just hjfjdskfgds he knew at least Scar wouldn't let him hit the ground <3 So much trust in this family I love them <3 They're a FAMILY your honor-

Yessss from the moment I established how Vampires actually feed (off the inherent magic found in blood) I knew I'd need to talk about this eventually, because establishing that magic cannot actually mix or be absorbed by 99% of the Supernatural population, because of how it conflicts with their own magic... I knew I'd have to explain eventually how Vampires are able to use other people's magic jkfgfdlk And yes. I specified Supernaturals on purpose. Because there is a group of Natural that is very well known for absorbing foreign magic into their own core :) They will ALWAYS find time to banter <3 HFJKSHKFDSJK Mumbo is just <3 My beloved hkjglfdkgdf LMAO WET RATS IN TRENCH COATS pretty much <3 Mumbo is sus immediately and Scar barely even gives the conversation a first thought, nevermind a second- HJFKSHJKFDSK :) I cannot say about that :)

YEAH THE ARGUMENT WAS FUN TO WRITE but it made me nervous just writing it so <3 But I am also anxiety personified so uh- BUT YEAH I agree Tubbo 1000% deserved to go off after this </3 But they're both freaked out and worried and afraid and they just need to talk <3 HA let me tell you magic responding to a person's emotions is one of my weaknesses I am WEAK for it AND YES Grian's little emotion-reading power comes in clutch, Scar is scared because he just found out he was so close to losing Grian and Mumbo and Tubbo and just jkfjkfdl <3 <3 He loves Scar and doesn't want to hurt him in any way and just <3<3 HAHA YESSSSSS <3

I AM CLAPPING FOR HIM. THE CATHARSIS, THE JUST SCREAMING, PROBABLY SOME THINGS HE'S BEEN THINKING FOR A WHILE, SCAR. FHJSKFJLKS that is the epitome of "it was at this moment Grian knew, he fucked up." JUST JKFSKLJS Tubbo, who was raised to not use people's real names (even though he is not Fae and would only be able to compel a Fae with their name, and not a non-Fae kjfsdkj), using Grian's real name. That's like- calling someone's first, middle and last name in the house HJKFDHJLKFS Tubbo needs a rage room. He needs time to just vent and rant because he's gotten custody of the shared Coven braincell this chapter jkfdslofdskj

LMAO YEAH she just peaced out. To be fair to her, though (which I hate doing, really)- she's injured and weak and in a very primal state, and they're yelling and Scar's magic is flaring and who knows what Grian's might have been doing at that moment and just hjfdshgjkdhjkfgds she chooses to fight another day when it's less likely Scar's magic will explode and Grian's magic will violently awaken LMAO- hfkjdshgjklds I thought it was funny when I wrote it, too- Tubbo going off on his dad while Scar apologizes, because an apology isn't gonna magically fix everything, and Mumbo just. Listening. While he tries to get the door locked again and searches the manor with his shadows. Just. Hjkfsdklfds And yes the pendant. Tubbo knows a little about the pendant's history and the way it made Scar feel, it's his way of saying tell them. Let them in. Let yourself trust them with the most fragile parts of you, because that's what you do with people you love. And the pendant- the symbol of Scar's father's love for him, his desire to protect him, which became the symbol of Scar's love and desire to protect his son, something inherently so powerful yet gentle and fragile, something that needs to be taken care of and tended to but which can save your life with such a grand display of power....... do you see the metaphor here-

I AM ALSO READY FOR THEM TO TALK I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE SOME OF THIS CONVERSATION I AM. SO EXCITED. I've already got ~2600 words written and we're not even halfway through the first third of the conversation HJKFHSJKS-

Guess what it's past 4 AM now. It took me an hour to respond. ~2500 words HAHA WORTH IT-

#Ask #Midnight Series #Hermitshipping #Mumscarian #Long post

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ungirthed · 5 months

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want to make a place for my thots of anything with no viewers if i remember to come on here. i cant believe i keep having to make these since i end up getting followers and interacting. but i'm an adult with shit to do irl and things to fight and this fandom is almost 20y old so idt i will do that. lol. just finished atla like 20y too late cos my parents hated me and my bro watching tv growing up. journaling/blogging thots!!! ugh. i wish i didnt hve adhd and dyspraxia lmao gonna split them up so i dont get overwhelmed reading my bullshit. if u stumble upon this it doesnt make sense sry

politically a lot of critique that i have to think about. character and plot wise it was pretty good and tight esp for a kids show. amazing female characters. can't wait for the bi agenda from LoK but i may take a while for that. p much i have to say these are great characters and i could talk a lot about them but i'm shocked at what i took away with regards to the romantic rships from the show and the characterization via it.

re love lines:

i wish kataang was written better in the show (MY opinion if any1 stumbles upon this). i don't ~ship~ zutara bc i am an adult and even back then no cos who cares lol but i see the appeal and am attracted to that. i do think we have to retire the trope of the "both sides but falling in love" not because it isn't possible but because post 10/7 (free palestine) i don't think it's worth it to look at it this way anymore. until someone proves themselves not worthy of death because of the resistance fighting back then they NEED TO PROVE THEMSELVES IMMEDIATELY. no more of this i'm in a concentration camp but he's a nazi bullshit. no more i'm a slave but he's the slave master's son (i mean in this case u could have been related but no1 listens to me!) it's repetitive, reductive, and untrue.

that being said: i just never care about the typical bildungsroman love story. you see the One Person bc i guess the kids tasked with saving the world have to be monk-adjacent (in aang's case quite literally) bc understandably theyre so fucked up lol. but it's always sooooo boring to me esp if it's f/m.

katara is such a complex character and mae whitman brings a wisdom to her voice that can be frustrating to connect with for me but her character arc, her strength, her MIND, her heart, and her fists. i think ppl probs like zutara the most when shes' going batshit and no one can understand aang's perspective. but aang is one of a kind and the cutest smartest sweetest loser ever. not my fav char but i love him. he's like if i had a younger brother and not an older one lmao.

of course they're (kataang) together. they were meant to be from the moment they saw e/o and that stupid cave kiss...this is why you don't wait until 32 to watch this lol.

but nothing surprised me and it was meant to be the way it was written. that's also why i find it understandable but shocking people in the universe and apparently outside of it were surprised at aang's turmoil over ozai. like are you joking? he's a 12 year old vegetarian monk. which: i loved his vegetarianism and obviously he was going to be but very casually they put in a line that hints as to why he would be and why many of us are...so i am dedicated to it again.

so wrt that and zutara...the episode where he's with her with the dude that killed her moms and his support of her i can see why people like them. the cave ep obviously but this show is veryyyyy free with affection i noticed and there's some jealousy but they all get over that pretty quickly. i read some of the comics and i could see different rships happening and i definitely think this world lends to queerness (me personally i love monogamy but a certain type lol so not rly interested in much poly but i do like a throuple) but i could see most being bi+ or having identified as that in the past, or labeling themselves but nto limiting. that's just an aside for meee...

so like katara was being katara. i could see suki and zuko being romantic but also a deep friendship that could be deeply affectionate either affect or physically or both bc that's who these ppl are. katara is a very intense person and that's part of why she can be annoying. that's part of why they ALL can be overwhelming. theyre intense, traumatized, repressed kids and teens with mostly good hearts (or just a person so disconnected from herself but also a fascist so u know. her going nuts lol)

hmm what else oh yea. so i came away with maiko......gjpasig the show was paced and plotted well. i am a libertarian communist (anarcho-commie) so MANNNNN i wish they did better on that front but again i must remember i am 32, ancom, and the world is diff. but anyway lmao so team avatar is who i would want to spend time with but i got so interested in mai and ty lee (mailee...). that beach ep conversation was so good, that whole ep, their argument. it was extremely teenage and showed how fucked up they all are. how confused and fucking lost and pathetic. how small their lives are. how boring....so mai...

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itsclydebitches · 2 years

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Ive blocked like 3 people today for the kylo ren shit takes lmao theyre just trying to start shit. i feel like if you're going to flatten "character who becomes a nazi-allegory space wizard and is proud of it, and then kills his own father on a good vs evil space opera" and "pirate romantic comedy antagonist who doesn't actually achieve his goals even Once and doesn't do anything too far from the moral baseline of the main characters", and then put it in the character tag, you cant be surprised when people ignore you.

Is kylo ren the only popular villian they know (what rock do they live under) or just the one they know scores the most disgust points out of the gate bc of the morality crusade the sw fandom went on over his fangirls??

(Also while I dont like kylo ren bc i found him boring i dont actually care that people like him?? It has 0 impact on my life. What got me out of the sw fandom was all the hate if you shipped any of the main three in the Wrong Way, the kylo stans were a bit annoying sometimes but this is fandom. We're all annoying.)

(I don't even have that much of an opinion on Kylo Ren because my interest in SW is focused almost entirely on the Clone Wars era. I watched the new trilogy once lol.)

I've also seen Snape come up a couple times as a comparison, which is its own can of worms. Honestly, I knew the moment tumblr started diving into Izzy that a lot of other fans would be upset by that focus and I do have sympathy for them because I've been there. I've absolutely been the person standing on the sidelines, feeling left out of many popular conversations, struggling to find kinkmeme prompts I want to fill, all because the community has latched onto a character that makes my skin crawl. It's a sucky situation to be in, but that doesn't mean the rest of the fandom is in the wrong for catering to their preferences. Over the past 2+ months I've watched posting move from playful complaints and semi-private venting to far more serious accusations that equate liking Izzy with some sort of moral failing: as a fan who isn't writing the characters "correctly," as a viewer who isn't reading the show "properly," as a human being who is, supposedly, making a conscious choice to reject the diversity in the show to instead uphold the awful white man, so that makes you racist, homophobic, ableist, etc. And I mean, I knew this would happen because it always happens (RWBY friends, you KNOW it happens)... I just didn't expect it to start really kicking off with Kylo Ren of all things.

Ultimately though I'm an old school fandom granny who subscribes to the general philosophy of "Don't like; don't read." Everyone should be allowed to engage with the canon in the way that makes them happy. You don't like what they're creating? Ignore it! Block freely and without guilt! If you disagree strongly with a fandom stance — as I've done tonight — that should be posted on your personal blog and shared by like-minded folks; don't go throwing yourself into a tag you hate, screaming at those trying to enjoy themselves. Moral crusades against people who like villains/antagonists, or aren't enjoying them in the "right" way, is nothing new, but it never gets any less frustrating to encounter. Plus, despite my description of Izzy's popularity above, this isn't actually a fandom where the "wrong" character has taken over. AO3 has over 4,000 fics for Ed/Stede compared to 500 some for Ed/Izzy (with Lucius/Black Pete coming in before that at 604). I've already reached the point where I'm shaking my head if someone tries to seriously claim that the fandom, as a unified whole, has rejected the loving, diverse, healthy canon relationships for the toxic, white man-focused, fantasy relationships and that makes you a bad person, didn't you know? There's plenty of content for the "right" characters and the "right" ships alongside interest in Izzy. Plus, we can have both! [cue everyone's shocked gasps]. I'm writing a fluffy fake dating au AND a woobified Izzy suffering from hanahaki disease! I guarantee you the world will not end if you let people 'poor little meow meow' a fictional character once in a while.

#OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #long post

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thesnowidol4life · 3 years

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ruinene

what have you done 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

but yes <<<<333 i love them with my whole being <<<<333

1:What made you ship it

multiple things it was like god was forcing me to perceive them!

i was on the ao3 tag on day 2 of proseka being out bc i was that impatient about translations and ended up stumbling upon a ruinene fic there (no but its actually so funny bc not only was i not interested in wxs at the beginning, and even though i read every oc's basic description before the game came out, it wasnt until that moment that it clicked in my friends to lovers loving brain that "oh shit you can do childhood friends to lovers w them huh" . this really was the beginning of the end)

anyways it got worse as i read wxs' main story bc i realized "oh no im starting to enjoy them a lot uh ohh" (i blame things like rui only agreeing to join wxs at first so nene could have a chance to try performing again, "you have a bad personality/that makes two of us", nene being happy that rui's started enjoying doing shows w tsukasa and emu, rui snapping at tsukasa for making nene cry and tells her she doesnt have to push herself to perform anymore, etc. i never recovered from any of that i never will). then it got WORSE when my brainrot was getting enabled by my bestie. then it got WORSE WORSE when i thought about nene while listening to yuukei yesterday one day and by law if a character exhibits takane enomoto behavior i cant must get attached. so yeah now im here

2: What are your favorite things about the ship?

these two are my favorite depiction of the childhood friends trope in any piece of media (i know a lot of the things i love arent top tier writing for that to mean a lot, but also idc theyre the best)

this sounds weird on a post of me talking about a ship trope i love but i get really annoyed whenever im watching/reading something w childhood friends and a romantic aspect is applied to it bc itll always feel either like the romantic love is forced or that the platonic love feels forced. its such an easy trope to fuck up and it hurts bc its my favorite one. ruinene doesnt have this problem tho they stay winning like always

like theres a special kind of softness that comes through when they interact (using this as an excuse to remind people about how soft rui's voice gets whenever hes talking to nene one on one bc that killed me the first time i heard it). and you could look at it superficially like "it makes since they've known each other for 10 years" or smth but then when you learn more about their pasts its especially heartwarming to know that these two people who have such a hard time connecting with others were able to keep each other so close

and its even better when you remember wonder halloween showed that rui and nene did drift apart at some point in middle school which were very difficult times for both of them, yet they were still thinking about each other during that time

like even when rui was going through his depressive episode where believed he would only be able to create shows by himself forever, he still wanted to help nene after she developed stage anxiety and quit acting bc he knew that she loved singing and performing shows more than anything. hell i wouldnt be surprised if pre main story he tried multiple times to help her overcome her anxiety and main story was almost like a final try. and when nene was finally able to go on stage again SHE DID IT BC SHE WANTED RUI TO COME BACK TO WXS BC THATS THE HAPPIEST SHES SEEN IN HIM IN SO LONG AND SHE DOESNT WANT HIM TO BE ALONE AGAIN SO SHE WAS WILLING TO FACE HER FEARS AND PERFORM W TSUKASA AND EMU IN THE SHOW SO THEY COULD BRING RUI BACK GOD IM GONNA IMPLODE

ANYWAYS their comfort level is very appealing to me and i love it whenever it comes up.

also the way they get whenever the other is overcomes a problem is great, like when rui was able to make up w tsukasa in wonder halloween. nene's relieved that she could support rui during this situation bc she couldnt reach out to him during middle school and how she wants him to rely on her more bc she's his friend (the way she specifies between “weve known each other since we were kids” and “and also, we’re friends” made me cry for 10 minutes the first time i read it fr bc she wanted it to be clear to him that he isnt alone anymore and that their close friendship isnt just some old memory they were besties as kids and she's still gonna be his bestie and god im becoming more and more ridden w illness as I say this). theres also when nene is able to accomplish something difficult during a performance (perfecting her christmas solo during holy night and singlehandedly improvising her scene to save the play during mermaid) and rui just always looks like he just fell in love w her every time (this is partially a joke but also no whoever rigs the live2d models needs to answer for that shit) and afterwards he’s just very proud of her and doesnt let her forget it and ahhhhhhh stop being fond of each other it makes me lose my mind ahhhhhhhhh

theyre so funny together too. theyre both such little shits that i love watching them whenever they pull a tag team roast on tsukasa or when rui is planning some bullshit and nene just accepts having to witness her bestie's actions. this isnt even mentioning the comedic goldmine that is picnic. the fact they were out having a nice cute hike date so nene could build stamina for their shows meanwhile mizuki ena airi and shizuku are on the other side of the mountain actually in danger of dying will never not put me in hysterics

its like theyre so imperfect in their own ways and its caused problems for them in terms of how they interact w the world but at least they love each other and have for so long and its like YEAH THATS THE LONG TERM CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDSHIP EXPERIENCE THANK YOU

also this is more of a meta/gay aspect to all this but i,,, absolutely love the way they sound together in songs. out of everyone in the game they're my favorite voices. I can and will be the no. 1 supporter of ruinene duets bc whoever decided to cast machico and toki shunichi for those two is seeing heaven. the 5 second ruinene harmony near the end of miracle paint caused me to question if i was bi. the ruinene nijiiro stories alt has been my ringtone for over a year now and i have not gotten tired of it. every cover on my wishlist that i want rui and nene to get is fueled by my desire for them to get a proper cover. the most we get is bits in full wxs covers but still no actual duet/duet w a vs joining them i think that's wrong and illegal

(yes i am still salty over cendrillon i will never stop being salty over cendrillon until we get compensation and trust me there are a lot of songs they can do ask me about my dream ruinene covers i dare you)

God theres so much i love about them that i could and have actually talked about them for hours and its to the point ive wanted to write an actual serious meta on their dynamic for a year now its badddd

3: Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

once again i plan on doing a meta one of these days so i don't wanna go too in depth about this rn but I disagree w the idea that ruinene are just the average childhood friends trope and that there's nothing special about them (re: why i love them tangent).

as much as i dont like it when the units are seen as only 2 dynamics bc then other dynamics dont get to have as much content (like how a lot of vbs content feels like anhane | akitouya yeah i get bored of that), i will without guilt turn a blind eye if its ruinene content. It can be story moments it can be song moments it can be card cameos idc if it becomes unfair bc I get fed for another week and that’s what matters sry <3

oh yeah and nijiiro stories is one of the best commissions in project sekai like im talking in the top 10 if im lowballing i wont take any constructive criticism on this (i am only half joking)

anyways yeah my annoying little bisexuals i care about them very much

#this was the first ask i got and i left it last bc i knew i was gonna talk a lot thanks ashe for opening pandora's box for several hours 💀#i joke a lot about hating ruinene and make fun of them mercilessly but they really are special to me #i wouldnt be planning to write a whole analysis on their friendship is i didnt love them as much as i do #which WILL happen i promise i just need colopale to get on their shit and confirm a few more backstory details #or else im gonna feel like im talking out of my ass #anyways im done being genuine ew ruinene gross (i say as i open up the two different subfolders #of just ruinene images and the ruinene memes ive made specifically)

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Klaus’s stoner sibling

Klaus Hargreeves x sibling!reader

warnings: weed. drugs/alcohol

a/n: this has been flooding my mind i just think its funny. almost all of this is based on experiences of my 9th grade friend group

prompt: ^

klaus was probably your closest sibling growing up

that was just because you could tolerate each other

it was no surprise that you and him took up a hobby together at the ripe young age of 13

who started who on what, you ask? well—

anyways, you and klaus used to rendezvous on the roof where no one would look

“ew, is that a cigarette? allison...” -you

“don’t mind if i do” -klaus, relighting the half-smoked cigarette

“gross! that shit’ll give you cancer. here, try this, it’s fresh”

and so a tradition was born. well, not so much a tradition...more like a daily (and nightly...occasionally hourly) ritual

your dealer definitely ripped you guys off bc you were two dumbass rich kids LMFAOO $50 for a gram? sounds legit!

as the years went by, the two of you got much more comfortable with it in the house.

klaus literally rolled joints at the dinner table

*walking into klaus’s room* *inhaling* “you son of a bitch, you smoked without me?!”

“of course not! i would never!”

“you are the worst liar in this house”

“alright, fine! but i did get mom to make us edibles...”

“you WHAT?!”

👉👈 eating weed cookies with klaus and you just.....you just felt like you went limp. no functioning for the rest of the day

until you got called for a mission ndshhshshshhs

“are you two high?” -luther

“dude, we’re not high, you are” -klaus

“nope, uh-uh, shutupshutupshutup” -you

~the weed bag~

that name cant get much more clear, it was the bag for all the weed paraphernalia

“we could make a bong out of that, and that, ooh! that too! and a pipe out of this thingy. think pogo would mind if we took this?” -klaus

“klaus, rule one of being a stoner is to not be a dumbass about it or else you’re gonna get caught” -yourself

“what’s rule number two?”

“puff, puff, pass”

you two actually were caught a handful of times

you nearly pissed yourself when reggie himself caught you

“what in the world do you think you’re doing out here? and with marijuana? no wonder the two of you are so disappointing! you’re killing your braincells!”

okay boomer

once you and klaus went your separate ways, he lost his and started toying with hard drugs (and a looot of alcohol)

you didn’t know this until they family reunion 13 years later

“klaus! you look...awful”

“oh, that’s so sweet!”

“is that a rehab bracelet? oh, please tell me you haven’t been experimenting with other drugs”

“experimenting? no! no, of course not. no, i’m just doing them”

“goddammit...”

you kinda did not like that at all and gave him a lecture about how “weed is safer than any drug out there. weed is safer than alcohol, weed makes everything so much better. weed helps with anxiety”

the whole stoner shtick

and you did roll and store a box of blunts for this joyous occasion

✨stress relief✨

“you got a light, y/n?”

“uh, yeah” *patting yourself down and feeling like 6 different lighters on you bc you stay prepared, holding one out for klaus* “here, you can keep it”

*gasp* “you mean it?”

literally smoking a blunt at the funeral

it was almost poetic

“klaus, put out that cancer stick” -you about his cigarette

*puts it out on dad’s ashes*

“NICE” -also you

rummaging around your rooms for old memories

“hey! look what i found!” -klaus

“oh, no”

klaus found a pipe made from a metal can and old, OLD weed

“what are you doing, klaus?”

“cant let this go to waste”

“klaus that is literally over a decade old”

missing the old days when you used to make pipes out of anything

“we should make an apple pipe for old time’s sake!”

your siblings walking by all judgemental of you and your choices

“you are both hazards to society” -allison

“love you, too, sis” -klaus

“hey, vanya! you should try this instead of those pills you take! it’s a whole lot healthier!” -you

“diego? want a hit?” -you

“my body is a temple” -diego

“uh, okay freak”

oh yeah i forgot five came back!

he was just disappointed in you

“well, we wouldn’t share anyways! it’s wrong to give 13 year olds pot!”

“weren’t you two 13 when you started smoking pot?”

“in theory”

...

anyways idk what the fuck was going on with all the future shit and the past shit and the time travel and the apocalypse and the time assassins but like, you did not vibe with any of that

you were really just tryna get klaus off of all the other drugs

“klausssss, no more pleaaaaase”

“but i wanna get highhhhhhh”

“then smoke weeeeeeed”

“you’re so vanillaaaaaaa”

“i cant stand youuuuuu”

and before you knew it the apocalypse was upon you and you thought that the 1960’s was actually just you tripping bc klaus drugged you or something!

maybe it’d be good to stay sober for just a little while

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

#klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves #tua #tua x reader #tua imagine #umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy imagine

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dropoutparty · 3 years

Text

ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5

here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:

tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3

ok lets get on with the post

at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.

now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.

after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).

anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.

zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!

the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.

now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.

NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.

its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,

anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.

anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).

moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.

gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).

anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!

now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!

anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!

the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.

as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!

basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.

#ngc ramblings #nes godzilla creepypasta #godzilla nes creepypasta #godzilla nes

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littlenekosfan · 3 years

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this thread is just me being a petty bitch so dont take it personally if u feel targeted.. so, lets rant :^) how can ppl look at him and be all like "mmm sexy man" dude..... the more i draw him, the more i realize how scary of a figure he is, he looks so calm and composed and kubo draw him with a slight blue (sad) feeling in his eyes... but when I draw him, its not the same, i dont draw him with the same emotion/feeling, its different...

i know i portray him with a sharp and cold look, piercing eyes, its just so him he's a tall figure, beautiful, imposing, almost angelic, but that pretty image wasnt acquired with altruism nor amour propre (and ill say it, i still dont believe ju has a good self-esteem, or at the very least, not the one he deserves/should be looking upon), he had to be strict with himself when he became a ritter and always have been ever since...

when i say blue its these panels where they show the most, all of these shots are without shinigamis (1st w/ his aide, 2nd bazz, 3d alone) im not saying he's sad, but his heart is not all stone... he has feelings!!! but they are very subtle (hear some ppl say he’s a cold hearted bitch im ???? yall clearly never saw him when he’s not in battle/war)

otherwise we get panels like these where we all know he isnt himself and omg he's scary, like genuinely Terrifying, and even without being under yhwach's power, he is just as scary esp when he interacts with shinigamis

we get to see his look when he’s under yhwach’s power, so i cant really call him jugram ngl, its like a mean side of him that is showing but never had in the first place.. an implanted personality.. and when he’s fighting shinigamis (except for one panel i know), that’s jugram, with a murderous intent and im not afraid to say that really is part of jugram, not a vengeful one, one with power greater than the enemy...

and well, we have Friend chapters where its just.... something else...... please look at this last panel and tell me how desperate he is, HES NOT HIMSELF AT ALL!#?%@ there is like, some kind of anguish in his expression that you can only see here in that single panel (where he calls bazz’ name) and when i say not himself, its not as “he’s ooc”, its as, not the usual composed jugram we’re used, its a desperate one, the one who wants to protect someone... for him to break that composure, then maybe it’s the most himself we get to see since he’s being completely transparent

its even worse when it comes to bazz’ death, the lack of panel showing jugram's face was done on PURPOSE, I KNOW IT!!!! and ppl just think "oh he killed his friend and walked away like nothing" DUDE, HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS?!??! WHEN WE HAVE THIS?!?!?? no expression was shown bc this is how ju handles it (and not the mention kubo PURPOSEFULLY refused to show us any of his facial expression... i fucking hate it, im not saying he’s crying, but he’s certainly hurt, the eyes are the most expressive facial trait, not surprising we didnt get to see them...)

this the only way he could handle it, if he were to show regret, any kind of empathy, he would snap, if you thought killing bazz was easy thing for him, then you dont get his character

in other words, jugram is really beautiful, but ppl really need to look past it and how his cold look shouldnt make you think he's heartless

ok mentioned earlier about his he "gained" that cold look and while i dont believe he’s faking his composed self (aka, the “normal” jugram) he wouldnt have grown that way if he wasnt enrolled back then, look how innocent he is and how scary he looks after 3 years

3 years is a LOT (esp for his young age), so im not surprised he changed so much, but what bothers me is, "is this what he wants to be?" i would say no, he never desired to become like that, but he just happened to be.. this is what fate gave him so he's not dishonest nor faking, but also younger him would be terrified to know he became like that... does the current ju wanna go back to what he used to be? no, although i believe cold nature isnt his true nature (as in, if the circumstances were different, he wouldnt be that cold) i dont think he wanna go back its just... now part of him, ofc he can be happy and have feelings, he just expresses them less than average... i think ju was the most himself during that 5yrs detaching himself from his abusive uncle and be somehow free, not happy, but just himself

speaking of changing look, jugram went through a personality change 3 times where 2 are linked with trauma, when we first meet him, he's a very unsociable kid who is just looking for love, any kind, deep down, this is caused by his uncle (trauma 1) and making him so... detached from others (unfortunately, this is his initial persona)

this is ofc in order to protect himself (ppl who have DiD ppl mostly suffer from it bc of constant abuse and to protect themselves from trauma, their brain develop DiD ((im not suggesting jugram has DiD bc i dont have it so i cant diagnose it and i dont think there are enough proofs for it, but im not saying its impossible))) bc talking to other ppl could be a problem, so he doesnt befriend bazz at first, but bazz’ concern and the importance he gave to him touched him, deeply, when his uncle died, nothing was stopping him from being closer to bazz, to be more himself

unfortunately bazz didnt bring the best of him, but at least he wasnt restrained emotionally with him (his only inner struggle was being powerless) so he was more free, giving him (change 1) the shy/worried persona, this is the most jugo we ever got

trauma (the beginning of the 2th change): it's not ju joining yhwach but rather, their friendship being torn out, the only person he ever considered as a friend is revealed to have used him, a betrayer, and bazz didnt help himself either... ju just took the safest side

(another trauma sign: to take the safest side) these two werent thinking twice to everything that happened, but what is done is done, ju's whole world shifted (being a leader and military stuff), leading to another persona change (change 2), he prob quickly gained that persona there (bc it was so harsh and quick, one day he want training with bazz the day after he’s yhwach advisor...)

giving us the coldest ju imo (warmest to coldest in 3yrs... damn) i mean, for him to be so unbothered with bazz joining the army after 3 years is so damn cold from him esp when we are shown he never hated him and still cared despite everything...

then with time, he regain more freedom with his emotions and thoughts...which is the 3th change, our current ju, we dont have him joining the army, post-war nor post aushwalen ju, so we cant tell if it affected him somehow.. it would have been interesting..

(since i cant word my thoughts for two cents, i hope this clear it up a bit lmao)

anyways, takes like blonde byakuya, jugo as bankai rukia or just, jugram being a cold hearted bitch who has no feelings or “he’s really attrative, id fuck him, but id never date him” well, 1 he’s gay for one person and 2 dont even talk to me yall really be missing on an amazing character ngl...

#jugram haschwalth #shut up naki #this took longer than planned bc my finger hurts #im hope im not too bitchy there LMAO #if you wanna refute. please do #im still rereading manga so yeah i picked only the panels i wanted/remember #but my point still stands... from what i believe fdkjshdf #naki using her brain

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anxiousnerdwritings · 4 years

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Ok so this is gonna look weird since im doing this on my computer and i might have some uppercase sentences but hopefully this works and if it doesnt f also first time submitting and it might not show up as anonymous so f to me again help m e anyway if this doesnt work then i'll just continue to send in works through asks bc i cant figure shit out lmao.

-Knull anon

~~~~

You stopped for a moment before saying, “damian, you’re supposed to be with batman trying to fight the other batman, why are you here?” Damian seemed to freeze up, but before he could explain anything, you pressed on. “And what happened to your costume? I don't think he would let you get a new one.”

The 4 strange batkids who seemed to appear out of nowhere stood there not knowing what to do, and as you sat there wondering why they seemed like they were… before the joker gas, you also had to wonder why they were there. Who were they? Where were they from? The other batkids got killed when… “batman” killed them.

One of the kids you recognized was Cassandra, if you remember correctly. It was strange seeing her so.. Well, alive. You never met the actual batkids before, since the batman who laughs only found you after a reign of chaos, but you had heard about them, and in some files you found when you had a bit more freedom, they spoke of who they were and what they could do. Of course you had to put them back when your “dad” came back around, but you were still able to read some of them.

The others you couldn’t remember as well, since you were only able to read up on 2 or 3 batkids. However, you weren’t able to think about that when one of them, who looked a little tiny and had a staff said “we need to find somewhere to hide, those robins are coming back down.”

Oh fuck, I forgot, I asked them to bring some food down! Well, now I feel bad about being hungry…

You were about to let them hide in your room, but then you saw the blasted door and thought, yeah, that's not gonna work. You looked around and remembered that stupid hiding place you found a couple of weeks ago while playing the robins version of hide and seek. It was such a good hiding spot that your “dad” actually had to come and drag you out.

Yeah, it wasn't a fun time.

But at least now you have a hiding spot. You motioned for them to follow you down the large hallway, and then opened up two double doors. Inside was a room of sculptures from all over the place. You walked them over to a sculpture of a man who appeared to be crying while sitting on a bench, and let them behind it. There was a small gap that you squeezed through and pressed 6 tiles in a pattern, before it revealed a sort of bunker like room. You led them inside and right as you were able to hear the screeching of the robins, you closed the door.

You sat there for about 10 minutes before you heard things quieting down. For the most part you heard the robins stomping around, trying to find you. You were honestly surprised to see that they didn’t just look where you were last time. A question pulled you from listening to the thumps.

“Why did you recognize Damian's voice?” you turned around and saw the same boy who had alerted you of the robins approaching had asked you. You turned to him fully before explaining, “this… earths, I guess you could call it, batman did have a damian wayne, but when he… ya know, became evil, he turned damian into one of them. He really doesn’t speak unless spoken to, which is also really rare. I was just surprised to see you since I thought you were supposed to be with him while they fight that one earths batman.”

Damian gave you a weird look and said, “I'm not the Damian from this earth, as you call it.”

You stared at him for a moment before going back to your mind. Not from my earth? What does he mean by that? Besides, what's with all the other batkids being alive? And even if they are here, and from a different earth, what would they be looking for? Was it money? No, batkids from all over never really want money, they want to follow, well, batman. So that means their batman must’ve sent them here. But why?

You turned back to the batkid with a staff and asked, “I'm sorry, I've never heard of you, what's your name?”

You saw Cassandra hold her hand to her mouth while Damian seemed to smile. Probably just your imagination, though. “Red Robin.” he said, as he looked down, seemingly a little embarrassed.

You tried to remember who had that name, but nothing came up, until….

“Oh, I remember now! You're the one that likes coffee, right?” he scratched the back of his neck, before nodding.

Cassandra was the next to ask questions. “Why don't you know the robins from this earth?” you leaned back into the wall behind you and said, “easy, I wasn’t there when you all died.” the mood immediately died after you said that, and it became extremely awkward.

Damian asked, “why are you even here?” “I'm supposed to know? I don't even know why he didn’t kill me to be honest with you.”

Damian was about to ask something else when his comm beeped for a moment. He answered it, before you heard someone say, “damian, you better have found the damn thing, because we're being overrun!”

From the other line, you were able to hear the screeches of robins from all over, and the grunts of whoever was speaking. “Ugh- just get the thing, and head out! We've got them distracted!”

Damian immediately got up and grabbed your upper arm, before opening the door. “We're leaving, we don't have much time.” without another word, you followed them out of the strange bunker and back into the hallway.

Sneaking past the robins was easy. Sneaking past the guards was… not so easy. You were wondering how they even got in when, instead of heading towards the entrance to the fortress, they turned a random corner and dragged you down somewhere else.

“Hey, not to sound rude, but the exits that way,” you pointed back to the two large doors that were heavily guarded, “why are we going this way.”

Cassandra turned back to face you. “We didn’t enter that way.” you were about to ask a question when you entered a tiled hallway. They brought you to one specific area and you could only assume that it was the same puzzle as the bunker, enter the right code and you would get into a secret tunnel.

Damian seemed to try and remember what the puzzle was, before he entered an unknown combination and the doors opened. He smirked before coming to the person who had distracted the robins.

“Nightwing, we’ve got the obj-” he looked at you before realizing that might’ve been rude. “... the… person, we’ve got the person.”

“It’s a what now?!” “Just get back to the ship and we’ll be off!”

He dragged you into the tunnel that seemed to be extremely long, and you continued like that in the dark, sprinting through the dark tunnel while you heard random noises everywhere else. Finally, you almost ran into the end of the tunnel, and when it was opened it was almost like a breath of fresh air. Well, it was a breath of fresh air, but this is the first time you’ve really been able to see the planet. Even in the dark, you were able to tell that it was a beautiful jungle.

Being shoved into a nearby bush startled you but when you went to ask why red robin had pushed you, he held a finger to his lips, and pointed out of the bush.

There were two large guards with their weapons walking over to the door, and looking around. You saw the batkids make hand signals out of the corner of your eyes, but before you would even say anything, a large explosion from the other side of the fortress brought your attention.

Without a second glance the two guards ran around the building before disappearing to a corner of the wall. Waiting a few seconds to see if anyone was there, before red robin helped you up and the 5 of you started running to who knows where. It felt like a couple minutes before you suddenly stopped and went on a little wrist tablet and started typing.

This resulted in a jet appearing from nowhere, before you realized that it was a wonder woman's invisible jet. “Did you guys recreate it or something?”

Cassandra gave you a weird look before you doubled back, and said, “Oh I forgot, this is from your earth.”

Walking around in grass and leaves felt surreal to you, but now you finally have a chance of leaving. Running up the ramp, you almost cried in relief when you realized that no this wasn’t you mind playing tricks on you. But that would have to come later, since you still had to leave the planet.

And as you took off, watching the fires swallow up the nearby trees, and the robins desperately try to find you, you really wanted to start laughing from joy.

~~~~

God this shit was so hard to write bc i was trying to figure out how to submit things and then like ya know this happened. Anyway if my name shows up when i submit this u can just copy paste this or just screenshot it idc whichever is fine with you. Anyway cheers love, god help me bc i want to sleep.

-Knull anon

#knull anon #submission

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

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YO SEBAS’ ROUTE HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED FOR JP I CANT WAIT!!! Do you have any theories of what could happen in his route?!?

Haha, yes, I saw this morning! For those who haven’t yet seen the announcement, it has been said that Sebastian’s route will be coming to the JPN version of Ikevamp on August 25th! It’s very exciting news, and I can’t wait to get started translating after I finish Dazai’s.

Honestly I’m finding this so many degrees of hilarious because I was like “oh ya I’m curious” at first, but after seeing that character introduction video with the lil forehead kiss and the horny as all HELL biting, I’m SLAMMING the horny button holy shit??? (I have that card CG in the JPN ver of the game on my phone and. lord jesus. That scowl. WILL HE STEP ON ME ONEGAI AKIHIKO)

Putting the rest under a cut bc is long and has some JPN ver spoilers:

That being said, let’s address the second part of the ask, shall we? Theories! If I’m honest I’m not surprised Sebastian was next on the docket, but I do admit I’m thoroughly surprised by the CG of him biting MC in earnest--he visibly draws blood on her neck and shoulder. This raises so many questions that are likely to be reiterated endlessly until his rt comes out in full, the most pressing of which is: does Sebastian turn into a vampire? Or is he just really into sadistic foreplay?

If I’m honest I sincerely don’t know if he’s fully turned, only because I’m trying to sort out the information we do have. Why turn into a vampire if the goal is to be with MC, who is also human? If we follow this course of thought, it doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it?

But then our boi Sebas is different in terms of his internalized conflict when compared to the vampires. Granted I may turn out to be wrong about this, but I think the two focal points of his route will be as follows: insecurity and the pursuit of knowledge. Remember that the reason Sebastian (our dearest Akihiko Sato) agrees to Comte’s proposal at all is his insatiable curiosity. I mean just think about it. If Comte told all that stuff about the mansion to someone in modern times, they would probably just figure he was a crazy person and go on with their day. But Sebas, the absolute madlad, agreed; he wanted to see if it was true, and to learn everything he could about people who exhibit extraordinary talent.

I foresee that this, however, may become a double-edged sword. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say. What I mean to say is that it could be very possible he might turn or undergo something similar to the changing process in order to experience what it’s like firsthand (whether to prove he can handle it or because he wants to understand the residents better/gather info). Furthermore, while Sebastian is curious--with no malicious intent at all--this doesn’t mean that envy is impossible in this kind of scenario, either. Admiration and envy are like two sides of a coin; depending on how one interprets information, they can skew to self-consciousness or inspiration. Given the content I’ve seen for Sebastian so far (and man has it been limited as all heck) I often get the implication that he truly does feel inadequate in some ways compared to the other men. As soon as MC chooses him a kind of overwhelming awareness of his normalcy begins; the implication that he is the wrong or lesser choice. Knowing this, I truly wouldn’t be surprised if problems arise as a result of this self-effacing.

(Note: I don’t think that about Sebastian at all, personally! I think he’s very mindful of others and really astute--to say nothing of his skill when it comes to the domestic sphere. I don’t think just anybody could do what he does, and he sells himself far too short. I always think of how the men call him the Ninja Butler and praise how capable he is, how they freely admit the place wouldn’t be the same without him. Sometimes I wish Sebas could see that, though I understand his concerns as well ;-; I’m always torn bc I’ll be like “I understand but alSO N O”)

Besides those latent insecurities, time to expand more on the pursuit of knowledge. In one way this drive might feed his self-derision; he might believe that the more he is able to do and understand and study, the more he can be of use/help other people. (Put simply his value as a person = the increasing extent of his knowledge in an almost linear relationship; without it he is nothing). On the other hand, I think he just genuinely enjoys collecting information the way he does! He likes assessing all the different ways people behave and why, and how this contributes to how they think and who they are. More insight offers him more ways to preoccupy his endlessly moving mind, but it also offers proximity with the subject in question. This to me is absolutely key--I think so much of his studying the great men is linked to his admiration, his wish to be like them and/or his wish to be close to them.

I’d like to address a quick reference to the drinking event that recently released in the ENG version of the app, if only to expand on/clarify where this is coming from. It essentially featured Sebastian and Napoleon sharing a drink together at a bar and in it, Sebastian speaks to the way that he encountered Napoleon in his life, and the reason why he grew so fond of him. He speaks to a childhood entirely detached from the people of his own time, roving through the shelves of libraries, reading endlessly to fill that void. It was a quote by Napoleon that caught his eye and inspired him, and ostensibly the words of people long past that gave him the strength to keep moving forward. This information, coupled with his strange excitement in Isaac’s rt introduction about how Isaac used to throw hands with people who mocked him seems to bring to the forefront a few things for me.

Sebastian is highly, highly individualistic: he doesn’t seem to care much about what is conventional or normal, only in what brings him joy and makes others comfortable/happy. His life is highly internal, but I sense no anti-sociality in this removal from societal expectations. He just lives his own way and tries not to trouble anyone. (This is also highly notable in his acute impatience with Dazai’s shenanigans/ineptitudes now and again; while he doesn’t always scold or explode, he shows a sharp and surprising impatience with willful/harmful/irresponsible behavior.) He’s tactful and measured, but highly excitable under the right circumstances. He also doesn’t seem to think much of his own life re: self-derision. Think Leonardo’s rt ending: he insists that the serial killer focus on him and not on MC, he tells her he has no qualms with dying if it means she’ll make it out alive. MC has to be the one to tell him to think more of his own life. As such I wouldn’t put it past him to have enough nerdy reckless energy to test the waters of being a vampire (all the better if it helps him understand the great men).

Comte once said it in an event story a few months ago, but I think he really hit the nail on the head in some respects. He says something to the effect of “His curiosity is admirable, but please Sebastian--some things are to remain private.” Sebastian doesn’t intend to be intrusive or malicious, he just likes knowing things for the sake of knowing. It’s about the cones answering his nerdy desire to piece things together, not stepping on people’s toes. (It’s nice too because Comte seems to understand this and doesn’t see it as a shortcoming/nuisance, he just tries to nudge Sebas in a different direction if he starts prying too close to people’s personal business ;-; pls pardon the Comte love I just can’t help myself)

Enter Johann Georg Faust.

Now then we know very little about the reserved priest doctor, but there are tidbits of information that we can work with (or at the very least, stand out to me a lot). The one I would like to focus on for this explanation is the little blurb that appears when you open the Ikevamp app and it’s loading, providing something like trivia facts for each character. In the ENG app we got those early, but we don’t have the ones for our antagonists. Iirc, Faust’s reads something to the effect of “will often sneak substances into their (as in the castle residents Vlad and Charles’) food to test the effect of his concoctions on vampires.” There have been hints that Faust is to be our mad scientist of sorts; that he is experimenting under Vlad’s orders to find a reliable way to transform a human being into an immortal equivalent to that of a pureblood. But I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I really don’t think Faust is only doing all of this for Vlad. He has his own curiosity that is seeking to be alleviated, perhaps he is satisfied with having another puzzle dumped in his lap--a means to distract himself and exhaust his faculties.

(One has to wonder if Vlad turned them under the same principle of desperation, and if that were the case, what Faust and Charles might desire more than anything else...Is Faust operating on a kind of necessity to atone? Has he simply given up hope that scientific advancement can happen without someone getting hurt, and so he does his best to balance the good and bad wrought by his explorations? Is he trying to bring someone back himself, is he trying to stall Vlad’s efforts in his own way? I really can’t be sure; there are just too many unanswered questions when it comes to Faust...)

This is where Sebastian and Faust begin to overlap. The pursuit of knowledge, an insatiable curiosity, a capacity to overreach the bounds of appropriate civility/decorum to get the information they want. It could potentially serve as a temptation for Sebas; become a vampire by Vlad’s hand and you can watch history over the span of generations. Assist in the development of an immortal, and you won’t even need someone like Comte to walk you through the different eras of time--you could explore yourself. While Sebas seems to be motivated more by service to other people, there can be no doubt that this could cause a great deal of friction. He will have to work to remind himself why he’s doing what he does and what it means to him, and whether or not becoming a vampire is truly what he wants.

But, there is also the issue of Vlad’s telepathic manipulations. Is it possible that an encounter with Faust (and by extension, proximity to Vlad/meeting Vlad head-on) could result in Sebastian being turned/experimented on without his knowledge? I.e. Vlad using his compulsion and sending him home with a word or memory of what happened. Though that’s certainly not the only possible explanation available. The other thing I was thinking about was a mechanic that was introduced in event stories prior to Sebas’ MS announcement. In the event story, MC and her suitor of choice encounter a street merchant that boasts a serum that can turn people into vampires. They, of course, don’t believe him--but the vial is procured and MC either purposefully or accidentally is exposed to it (i.e she knocks it over and it shatters in Leo’s ES). For a brief time, she exhibits vampiric qualities; she feels the thirst for blood as acutely as any of the other vampires in the mansion. I.e. In Napoleon’s ES, Sebas notices something wrong with MC when they’re just pouring vials of Rouge--the usual prepwork--and she runs out of the room looking dazed. Her odd/new instincts are only alleviated when she bites and drinks Napoleon’s blood, but after that single episode she shows no further signs of vampiric qualities. It’s a temporary but acute transformation. While I have no specifics as to how this is possible, I have to wonder if something similar might be done to Sebastian; whether as a means to test him (does he really want this? find out after the commercial break) or a kind of trick/trap laid by the antagonists. I remain unsure, but these are the two most likely explanations that come to mind if he hasn’t been fully turned.

As to whether or not his vampirism will be permanent, I’ve genuinely been oscillating on that one. I think it’s certainly possible given his intrigue (I never see much fear in him) with vampirism and his probable enjoyment with the prospect of an endless life learning about things (I can literally hear Leonardo screaming internally and I’m ngl it’s sad and funny). But there’s also something about the bite CG that speaks to strain/alarm, to surprise--that he wasn’t at all aware of the changes within himself--and I have to wonder if it might put him off of the prospect (like that he lost control/hurt MC)...Essentially I think it will just really boil down to how the symptoms come about (temporary or permanent), and how much his affections for MC might deter that curiosity/possible wish (if temporary, he might not touch the prospect again--if permanent, THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKING SEXY BECAUSE I’d wager the rest of the route might be MC trying to help him adjust/recover IN A SEXY WAY).

(Note post-translation: I fucking HATE IT HERE. The bite CG text says smth to the effect of “The bloodlust is unbearable--stay away from me; I don’t think I’ll be able to keep from attacking you.”) In light of this information, I am this 👌 close to launching myself straight into the sun. OFC his route is gonna be sweet as all shit and then it’s just gonna go downhill from there with angst. WHYYYYYYYYYY AKIHIKO (at least his voice is mega sexy and heals my wounds OTL) It also says something about “a fate that is greatly moved” so that does suggest a more permanent change than the temporary alternatives I mentioned (though we all know how Cybird loves to jerk us around so I’m leaving that up for debate)...this shit better be hurt/comfort or i s2g im throwing hands

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!

Here’s hoping he’ll make for a delightful surprise! I’m looking forward to it c:

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp akihiko sato #ikevamp meta #bruh i woke up to so much yelling and im still reeling from the developments #hello????? sebas lookin tender AND sexy and im ngl i am v much here for it my ass pass is SHAKING #i genuinely didn't think i'd be this curious/intrigued but now that i saw the introduction vid im just #👉👈 i am looking RESPECTFULLY #man im quaking i guess its time to translate all the sebas stories i have and think about my hubris #like i thought sebas would be the whole 'you get a human suitor if you dont want the vampire stuff as much'#and so i was like #'i do not see my ass loves vampires too much for this'#but then he went vamp in the preview and im just YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! **RIPS SHIRT OPEN**#bruh this changes literally everything #come here you giant nerd and let me punch a whole straight through that v card #history aint got nothin on this dynamite [REDACTED]#rambles #anywho if you need me ill be replaying the vid over and over again #ty cybird for sparing some serotonin in these trying times LMAO

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tees-sawggy-blog · 3 years

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Spoilers for Faith in Three Kingdoms so please dont read if your a player in the campaign!!

For context for Faith/ Fuc in my main campaign:

She is just a rogue. She has always been one to just flow with whatever problem comes her way. She’s never had the ability to really fix anything, bc what could she do when she lived and grew up without magic or political power. Earlier on in her life she was never able to have children and she HAD come to terms with this fact at the time, like how she would with everything. But then there was a spark or hope, she had found documents leading to some form of a wish granting artifact. This ended up being a entity of some sort (not a god, but nothing mortal by any means) and ended up making a deal with it. This backfires. So the one and only time she ever tried to changer her fate in the slightest, it was turned into a curse that followed her wherever she went. Now the party she is with is a talented bunch that are all magic users or have priceless knowledge/ lore pivotal to the plot. And there is definitely a part of jealousy but more importantly frustration that she cant be as helpful as them. However, as of recently, Faith has come across a magical artifact that was made with the severed pieces of a god. Very helpful, yeah? Now obviously any remnant of a god is going to be powerful, and its been slowly been alluded to her many times (i.e. every time she uses it) that this power is almost addictive in a way. It doesnt force the character to “bend to its will” but, its the type of artifact that makes you think “wow. i want to feel like this... all the time.” which could probably be damaging to fuc but anyways. So in the last session that we had, an entire city that the party was in was almost leveled from a bomb, but was thankfully protected by a magical field. However the city was forcibly removed from the land and basically turned into atlantis. There was a click in her as a character. Almost a realization of some sort. They were stuck at the bottom of an ocean (we presume), one of the other PCs has lost their memory, and now all that faith can think right now is “I dont know how to fix this, but I wont accept standing to the side to watch this unfold anymore.” And here is where the fun stuff begins:

(this is all stuff im copying pasting from my messages with my DM bc im too lazy to type it all out) she has never REALLY had control or anything she’s done in her life. she’s tried and it backfired and kills those she’s cared about. she’s just a simple rogue whose smart and HAPPENED to be unlucky enough to find some papers about a demon deal. And all these years go by and, she meets these amazing and powerful people like sabrina and lake and crow, even fucking mario, and there are multiple situations where she just feels helpless if there’s an emergency! we will be stuck and all she know is the stuff she’s learned from living basically alone for a lot of her life. then she begins to cast these spells as a bard, and it’s a sign to her. she finally feels like she can help when things might get rough. but then... she gets this ring of tyverius and she’s like, “what if i can be more than just help? what if i can protect them? what if i could fix this? what if i could make the pain go away, all of it?” which is very damaging thinking but she’s getting a taste of this literal god power and she can’t help but think “i know there’s more, i want more” and she’s blurring these lines between justify this with wanting to protect people and wanting more power so she can finally have control. she’s thinking things like “if i put tyverius back together maybe she will help me (which is dumb bc the priestess ha stye same mindset) and if she cannot be restore i will always have the strength of all of her artifacts anyways” in faiths mind she could maybe be more powerful than it if she has tyverius’ power. These were literal thoughts faith was having when we were underwater in tylian, like the most helpless you can get in that scenario, hundreds of thousands will die, the only people she cares about will die etc etc. and there’s nothing ANYONE can do this time. that’s why she turned to bell, a dormant god, to try and wake them up even though she knows they can’t do anything!!! they can’t remember ANYthing!! but tyverius is even more powerful than bell.... sometimes it helps to have the power of gods i dunno ! sometimes faith wishes she could hear tyverius talking in her mind or showing her where the rest of the artifacts are in dream to her she faith can have more direction. Not to mention a lot of good natured moments shes thought of a ways to take advantage of it or use it but it’s never been an option just always a side thought but now seeing these “mortals” like ysme making herself like a prophet to the good followers of bysthyn, like lyla (which we don’t need to deep dive into), like the abernathys ... she starting to realize, she can be like that it’s not exclusive to just gods. that’s just selfish for them to keep all that power to themselves

Essentially, I dont want a villain arc for faith, and I dont think she is inherently evil at all! But I do think that after all this time shes starting become obsessed with the idea of control and fate, and trying to bend destiny. And she was like this far before obtaining the ring, she’s a selfish person. It’s hard to tell is she even knows it, or if she even wants to recognize it. She can put on the disguises, help out as many 13 year old boys on the the street, She can play pretend hero all she wants. It doesnt change how selfish she is internally. And it’s at a point where she doesnt want to recognize this version of herself that is flawed. This version that will always want more, the version that was thinking of ways to work with one of the evil characters as a way to get ahead. Shes far from perfect, and maybe too flawed, but shes not irredeemable. I think that she has so much potential that has been viciously derailed, and shes getting to a point where she wont want family anymore. And her “human” parts are slowly starting to leave. She’s reverting to murder more comfortably than she should and even though shes killed people before, shes never been one to revert to it when she has the chance. Im surprised that the party isn’t more alarmed by this. There were literally points at the very beginning of the campaign where she didn’t want to even physically torture a man for information. mannnnn i just hope that this is getting recognized soon, but to be fair, no one notices anything.

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cirilee · 4 years

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i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up. now i'm thinking: What is so important, that he has to call me during work. there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

#vent #rant

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marvinswriting · 4 years

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just a liability

prompt: actually wait I WANT to read scary [its a suprise] go ahead lol- bear (bc it's her idea)

Today was awful.

Most days were.

But today sucked substantially more.

Its the first day back at school since my art show. The praise and congratulations from my teachers should feel nice.

But its all a bitter reminder of the painting I threw at my newest ex-best friend.

My mom was not too happy when I came home with a first-place ribbon and no canvas but that's not the point.

I sighed, stepping onto the tiny platform. Damian wouldn't be done with theater for another twenty minutes but I can't sit in the stuffy tiny halls anymore.

The hallways were practically empty, as usual for after school hours.

Notice how I said practically.

"So what are we doing this weekend, Cady?" Gretchen asked as they walked down the hall.

Its a question shes directed to Regina so many times. I almost felt sick looking over, looking at the girl who used to be my friend.

Now cold, hard, plastic.

You made me like this-

I did. Didn't I.

I was hurt by middle school actions. I just wanted to see Regina's downfall. And I guess I did.

But at the cost of my friend.

"I'm not sure yet," Cady said thoughtfully. "It's only Monday."

"But if we want to throw another party we should spread the word now."

"Another party?" Cady stops short in shock. Right in front of the tiny pick up zone.

I turn to my sketchbook, hoping they won't notice me.

"But we just threw one last week." The concern in her voice sounded just like the old Cady. The nice Cady. My friend, Cady.

"Last week was so- well, last week!" Gretchen says. "I dunno guys." Cady says slowly.

I concentrate on the delicate lines in my sketchbook. Nice, light, thin. Happy lines if you will.

Ignore the pain of losing your friend. The only girl you've trusted since eight grade. Ignore the pain of your identity being weaponized. Nice, light, thin, happy lines.

"Janis?"

Fuck.

I look up to see Cady glancing at me. "You've been ignoring my calls."

The cold edge in her voice was exactly why. She's shiny, hard, and plastic.

"Cady, you can't be seen near the space dyke." Gretchen quickly reminds her.

"Gretchen," Cady snaps. "I can be seen with whoever I want. Regina is gone, I make the rules."

That wasn't what you were saying when you didn't invite Damian and I to your party.

It wasn't even the fact that she didn't invite us to her party. It was the fact that she threw a party. That she could have been honest and say she'd rather throw a banger then go to my art show, but she lied. She said she was in Maddison. She sure as hell wasn't.

"But that's space dy-"

"I know who it is, Gretchen." Cady snapped. I jumped back in surprise at the vicious tone of her voice. She sounded like a clone of Regina.

I almost felt sorry for Gretchen. No matter what happened, no matter who was 'in charge' she always seemed to get the short end of the stick.

Cady reaches out, lifting me up without asking.

"Hey!" My sketchbook and pencil fall down onto the platform as I'm lifted in the air.

Cady turns me over in her hand like she's never seen me before.

"Put me down!"

"Why'd you ignore my calls, Janis?"

"Cady-"

Her hand closes around me, holding me in a fist. It's not tight, unlike others who have picked me up without asking in the past. But a fist is a fucking fist.

"Cady please, this isn't like you."

"Plastic?" Cady's voice has an unfamiliar edge. "But- I thought you wanted me to be plastic? To help get rid of Regina. Isn't this what you wanted, Janis?"

No! I didn't want anything like this. At all.

"I actually wanted to thank you. For showing me how to be plastic. Because now I've met people I actually want to hang out with."

I tried to convince myself that she didn't mean it. It was all a show for Karen and Gretchen. Cady was just trying to prove herself to be plastic. There was no way she meant all these things. There was no way she-

Her fist tightened.

"You didn't think I liked hanging out with you, right?"

Yes. I did.

"You're so needy. I need this, take me there, everything just needs to be about Janis, huh?"

My arms were pinned at my sides. There was nothing I could do.

“Poor Damian has to deal with you and your bullshit."

I freeze. Yeah, insulting my sexuality was a low blow. But it wasn't the lowest blow. Cady knew that. She knew what the lowest possible insult was. And she fucking used it.

"The poor guy," A sick smile forms on Cady's face when she sees how I've reacted. Gretchen and Karen laugh from behind her, prompting Cady to continue. "Even if you weren't a tiny. You still have all those issues. Right, girls?"

She sounds just like Regina. Just bigger and with more potential to physically harm me.

Fuck.

"So many issues." Gretchen says, repeating what Cady said back to her, like a parrot. Karen just nods.

“I don’t know why I ever hung out with you.” Cady admits, releasing me from a fist and letting me fall into her hands.

"W- what?" I never stutter, but I guess I'm doing it now.

"Mhmm," Cady said, holding my arm between her two fingers, tugging at it. "You were always so weak and fragile. I didn't want the responsibility of that. You tinies can be such a liability."

"Cady. Stop, that hurts." I try tugging my arm back, only for Cady to just pinch harder.

“I could care less about how you feel, Janis.”

I'm starting to feel like this may not just be a show to prove herself to the other plastics.

I mean, what's there to prove.

Cady already rules the school.

Cady already won.

"Put me down. Please."

"And why should I?" Cady asked. Everything about her, her tone, her posture, her outfit- it reeked of plastic. I swallow, trying to push down the anxiety in my stomach.

My belief that Cady wouldn't hurt me was quickly crumbling.

"Yknow." Cady's thumb pushed me backward, pinning me down. "I'm surprised it didn't come to this sooner, Jains."

Her thumb pushed down hard, right on my chest, hurting my ribs. It probably wasn't much effort on Cady's end but it hurt like a bitch for me. My mind thinks back to all the times Damian did the same thing, more cautiously.

For him, it was a way to make sure I didn't fall off his hand or do anything reckless.

For Cady, it felt like a murder technique.

Was it that easy for Damian to just kill me this whole time? Was I so much more fragile then I realized?

I mean, Cady sure seemed to be doing it effortlessly now.

I tried to push her thumb away but it was fruitless. I could barely push off Damian's when he did it- and he pushed down a lot softer.

"I can't bre- Cady. Wait- please."

"What?" Cady grinned, lifting her thumb. "Too much for poor little Janis?"

"Space Dyke cant handle it." Gretchen smirked.

"No, she can't." Cady agreed.

The familiar sparkle in her eye was gone. The naive smile she had her first day at Northshore was gone. Her braids that ran through her hair was gone. Her socks with sandals- as horrific a fashion choice they may be- were gone.

All that was left was cold, hard, shiny, plastic.

Cady was gone.

"Hey, where's your friend?" Gretchen asked. "The gay one."

She sure as hell knows Damian's name. That was just a cruel dig.

"Oh yeah?" Cady's eyes lit up. Not in the way they used to. Now they shown in a dark taunting way. "If Damian cares about you so much, where is he now?"

Theater. He's at theater. He cares. He just doesn't know what's happening.

My mind screamed these answers but I couldn't bring myself to verbalize them. Cady's fingers curled dauntingly over me and she grinned a little wider every time I shook.

“Damian doesn’t want you around," Cady continued. "I can tell. Everyone can tell.”

"Everyone," Gretchen said.

“Stop wasting his time. Stop wasting everyone’s time.” Cady dropped me back onto the pickup zone. “Damian’s gonna get sick of you eventually. Where's poor space dyke gonna go then?"

I froze. Cady never called me space dyke. Through the years I've grown numb to the insult. After eighth grade, it became unoriginal and repetitive. But when Cady said it?

Cady leaned over the tiny pick up zone, getting uncomfortably close. "Awww, did that hurt your feelings?"

I step backward but can't bring myself to respond.

Cady laughs, bringing her pointer finger up to knock me down. "Get over it."

She smiles to Gretchen and Karen, who beam back at her like this was just another normal occurrence before the trio walks away, already picking up their original topic of weekend plans.

For a long while, I just stay sitting on the tile floor where I was knocked over. My heart was racing and my breath was heavy, something I didn't notice before. Now that I was in no immediate danger I noticed these things. Like the bruises probably forming on my torso from Cady's thumb.

All her words caught up to me.

Did Damian really find her annoying? Was it that easy to tell? I guess I did have a habit of blocking certain things out- like Cady slowly becoming cold hard plastic until it was too late. I mean, I'd be annoyed taking care of a tiny me as well.

Even if you weren't a tiny. You still have all those issues.

I get up and walk into the tiny halls. No. It wasn't true. Right?

Damian had to care, at least a little bit.

Stop wasting his time. Stop wasting everyone’s time.

I pull myself into the bathroom, not even bothering to enter a stall. It's after school. Who cares.

There are tears on my face when I look in the mirror. When did I start crying?

I hastily wipe them away, ignoring how my mascara smudges.

Why did I let her words get to me?

I didn't let Regina get to me this much?

She said the same things Regina said.

Maybe its because I trusted Cady. She was a friend.

Was.

But plastic is plastic. I should have known better.

My phone buzzes as I jump away from the mirror in surprise. It's a text from Damian.

"Hey, Jan. Where are you, I'm at the pick-up zone." I read allowed, despite nobody else being here.

My stomach twists at the thought of seeing Damian. Of making him go out of his way to get me home.

I really did need everyone to do everything for me.

The realization feels like a punch in the gut.

I quickly texted back, saying I left school early, feeling sick, sorry for not telling him.

Yeah, I felt bad for lying. I'll just take the tiny bus home. Damian shouldn't have to go out of his was to worry about me. He doesn't deserve that.

I slump down against the wall, drawing my knees close. If I'm taking the tiny bus I'm not leaving for another half hour. There's no rush.

Damian texts me telling me to get better. I know he didn't buy it. I was fine earlier. But maybe he did think I actually went home.

I felt bad for lying, but I'd feel worse being a liability.

Because that's all I was.

Space Dyke. The annoyance. The liability. The girl with issues. The one who wastes everyone's time.

I'm crying again. I can feel the wet tears sliding down my face, no doubt taking more mascara with them.

I don't bother to wipe them away.

whoops, lol- bear 2020 I WOULD LIKE TO DEFEND MYSELF AND SAY YALL ARE QUICK TO CALL CADY SOFT AND INNOCENT LIKE ACT TWO CADY HERON DOESN'T EXIST? anyway really sorry mainly to soy and alex lmao @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt

#i dont want the tags to give away whos in this fic #g/t mean girls #Giant/tiny #g/t #g/t writing

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musicaltheatrewannabe · 5 years

Text

mistletoe - a seblos oneshot <3

sooo i guess im a fic writer now? lol im really enjoying it so here’s some wholesome seblos being boyfriends around christmas! ft tree decorating and a cow ornament bc i cant ever forget about seb being a farmboy

“So, I’ll meet you at your locker after school?” Carlos asked, holding onto his backpack straps as he stood right outside the doorway to his classroom.

“Yep!” Seb gave Carlos a quick peck and smiled before heading down the hallway toward his English class. Carlos, who still couldn’t believe that he and Seb were really together, embraced the dumb grin that was plastered on his face and wandered into his math class. Now that the musical was over and he and Seb were officially boyfriends, he had invited him to his place after school alone for the first time, and the anticipation was killing him.

Throughout the entire period he paid even less attention than usual to Mr. Mazzara’s ramblings about matrices and whatever other algebra was relevant that day. All he could do was count down until class would end and he would see Seb again. Ashlyn, who was sitting next to him, kept rolling her eyes at his absentmindedness. “Did you get any of that down?” she sighed, the little doodled hearts on Carlos’ otherwise blank page already giving her the answer.

“I’m sorry, can I take a pic of your notes and copy them down later?” Carlos whispered back, earning a glare from their teacher at the front of the room. Ashlyn nodded and Carlos smiled gratefully, taking a discreet picture with his phone.

“Alright, I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Before Mr. Mazzara could even reach the end of his sentence, Carlos had started shoving his notebook and pencil case haphazardly into his backpack.

“Someone’s in a hurry,” Ashlyn chuckled, “let me guess- you’re hanging out with Seb?”

Carlos was too excited to be embarrassed by his enthusiasm. “He’s coming over to help me decorate our tree as a surprise for my mom. She’s been really busy at work these past few weeks, and with Christmas approaching, it’s just adding another thing to her to do list.”

Ashlyn nodded, “ah, so it’s the perfect excuse to have your boyfriend over without supervision, huh?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Carlos, who laughed and gently smacked her arm as they swung their bags over their shoulders.

“No, it’s not like that,” he blushed, “I’m excited because I’m really getting into the Christmas spirit- Seb is just an added bonus!” Oh, who was he kidding, Seb’s entire existence was the definite cause of his excitement, and Ashlyn could see right through to the reality of their honeymoon phase.

Ashlyn smirked as she turned to go down the hallway in the other direction, “whatever you say… have fun!”

Carlos waved and headed off toward Seb’s locker, barreling through the growing crowd of students. When he turned the corner and saw the blonde boy, his face lit up. Seb put some textbooks back in his locker and then turned to see Carlos approaching, a smile instantly appearing on his face. “Hey, how was math?” he asked, shutting his locker with his backpack and leaning against it.

Carlos intertwined his fingers with Seb’s and started subconsciously playing with his hands, “honestly, I was so lost, I couldn’t even tell you.” Seb laughed and raised his eyebrows at Carlos. “But it’s fine, we don’t have any tests until after Christmas, and Ash has basically become my tutor so…” he trailed off, smiling. “How was English?”

“It was great! I got my Gatsby essay back and I got an A!” Seb’s smile grew even wider.

“Oh my God, Sebby!” Carlos squeezed Seb’s hands and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, “I knew you had nothing to worry about!”

The blonde boy beamed with pride and chuckled, “thanks!” Seb moved away from his locker and pulled Carlos after him, their hands still intertwined, saying “we should get going though, we don’t want to miss the bus!”

During the bus ride, Seb was texting his mom about his essay, which made Carlos smile. Carlos leaned his head on Seb’s shoulder and Seb kissed his forehead, both of them filled with the good kind of butterflies that they had been slowly getting used to since their relationship had become official on opening night two weeks earlier.

They got off the bus at Carlos’ stop and Carlos got out his keys to unlock the front door. “Oh, is your mom not home?” Seb asked.

“No, she’ll be at work for a few more hours. I wanted to get started with decorating so she wouldn’t have to worry about it this year,” Carlos replied, opening the door and gesturing for Seb to go inside, “but of course I didn’t want to do it by myself.”

“Hm,” Seb grinned, dropping his backpack and pulling Carlos in after him, “guess this means we’re here alone.”

Carlos didn’t have time to reply before Seb crashed their lips together, wrapping his arms around Carlos’ neck. He had been waiting for this all week- sure, they were fine with small displays of affection at school, but something like this was reserved for when they were alone. Carlos pulled away, too soon for Seb’s liking, and ran off into the living room.

Confused, Seb laughed and said “Carlos, what are you doing?”

“Just a sec, honey!” Carlos shouted from the other room as he rummaged through some bags. Seb swooned at being called ‘honey’ and smiled in disbelief that Carlos was really finally his boyfriend.

Carlos came to stand in the doorway between the living room and entryway, hands behind his back. Seb cocked his head at his boyfriend’s mischievous look, and Carlos responded by whipping a sprig of mistletoe out from behind his back and holding it over his head with a smirk. “Oh my God, you are the cutest,” Seb rolled his eyes and bounced over to Carlos, grabbing his face to kiss him again. Carlos wrapped his free arm around Seb’s back but kept the other one up holding the mistletoe over their heads until his arm got tired and he pulled away.

“Ok, as much as I love kissing you, we need to actually get the Christmas spirit going in this house and decorate! Starting with this mistletoe. Hold it up to the doorframe and I’ll tape it,” Carlos said, and Seb did as instructed.

“Wait, you actually hang mistletoe in your house?” he asked as Carlos ripped a piece of tape off a roll that was in his back pocket.

“How else are we gonna set up the game where all of my extended family gets caught under the mistletoe? It’s kind of a tradition around here…” Carlos smiled as he applied the tape just above the doorframe so the sprig hung down. “Alright, let’s get started with this tree!” Carlos gestured towards the boxes of ornaments and started playing a Glee Christmas playlist over the speakers.

“I love that you’re a gleek,” Seb grinned as he started untangling the Christmas lights. Carlos was about to protest when Seb added, “hey, hey, I am too, no shame here!”

“I knew you had taste,” Carlos laughed, helping Seb wrap the lights around the tree.

They spent the next hour hanging up all the ornaments, singing along to the songs and even pausing to dance to a few together. When they had emptied all of the boxes Carlos put his arm around Seb and said, “thanks for helping with this, it looks great!”

“You don’t need to thank me, it’s been so much fun!” Seb went over to his backpack and reached inside. “I actually have a little something for you…” he smiled as Carlos gasped and clapped in excitement.

“It’s not even Christmas yet…” Carlos said as Seb handed him a small gift-wrapped package.

“Just open it!” Seb urged him, grinning expectantly.

Carlos unwrapped the present carefully, grinning when he saw that Seb had given him an ornament. And not just any ornament, but a little cow with a wreath and cowbell around its neck as well as “xmas 2019 - sms<3” written on its side. Carlos just looked back and forth between the gift and his boyfriend in awe.

“Well, do you like it?” Seb started to look a little worried before Carlos finally recovered his words.

“Sebby, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen- you’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” Still holding the ornament, he wrapped Seb into a hug, “thank you so much!”

“I’m glad you like it,” Seb laughed. “I painted the text on by hand,” he added with a sheepish smile.

“Oh my God, stop…” Carlos’ smile grew even wider and he turned to hang the ornament on the tree, “there we go, front and center, as it should be. Now the tree’s done.” Carlos held Seb’s hand and the blonde boy beamed at him. “Oh wait!” Carlos let go of Seb’s hand and ran over to the last unopened box, “I almost forgot…” He pulled out a golden star and gave it to Seb. “As the guest of honor, you should be the one to put this on top of the tree.”

“Yay!” Seb exclaimed and Carlos laughed. The blonde boy stood on his tiptoes and just barely managed to place the star on top of the tree, proud when he did.

Carlos lit up the tree and took a step back, taking Seb’s hand and looking at him smiling next to him. “Now it’s done…” he whispered, taking in the moment and placing a kiss on the back of Seb’s hand.

“Now it really feels like Christmas,” Seb replied. He closed his eyes and leaned in, but his eyes shot back open when he felt Carlos pulling him away again. After the initial shock, he laughed as he realized what Carlos was doing and followed him back to the doorway where they had hung the mistletoe. Seb pushed Carlos against the side of the doorframe and kissed him, pouring all of his feelings up to that point into the action. Carlos couldn’t believe that this was his new reality as he ran his hands through Seb’s hair, pulling him closer. Neither of them had the words to express what they were feeling, so they channeled it into every kiss, every touch, every sound, and in that moment, they both knew it would be a great Christmas.

#hsmtmts #seblos #carlos #frankie rodriguez #seb matthew smith #joe serafini #christmas fic #boyfriends

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mistymark · 5 years

Text

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!!

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

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