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mapsofnonexistentplaces · 2 months

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QUESTION TIME !!! any recent game or movie recs you’d like to give ?? i know youre a big prog rock guy but are there any other genres you like or any bands/artists u feel dont fit under the prog descriptor that you enjoy a lot ? & maybe somebodys asked this before but i would love to know if you have any inspirations for ccsimulacrum ? i mean just in general but i would also really love to know how you came up with the name specifically !

ALRIIIIGHT much to talk about! lets bite into it

friends and i have been noting down some movies though we haven’t watched any of them and are simply going off of reviews and images. earlier tonight we found a movie called zardoz from 1974 which looks like complete shit and i’m so excited to see it

in terms of games i’ve been rotating a couple! discovered i’m just very fond of roguelikes and Number Go Up games so naturally i’ve been insane about balatro. i also played vampire survivors ages ago back when the mobile port came out but i decided to get the desktop version literally yesterday because i miss playing that game and it’s a bit better on my eyes on the wide screen hah. have also been playing a lot of darkest dungeon. uhhh i’ve also recently checked out a handful of games that have just like. incredible art direction but are a bit all over the place regarding genre so rapid fire round of that: blasphemous, where the water tastes like wine and the shrouded isle. have also been getting into them’s fighting herds that’s a very fun fighting game to learn :+)

QUESTION 2 for genres i’d say i hang around adjacent genres quite a lot, big into math rock especially. i’m also big into prog pop but that overlaps so much with prog rock i hardly think it counts hah. otherwise i like most other kinds of like. ‘quick and dirty’ metal. like power metal thrash etc. however leaving the realm of rock i fucking love jazz (and jazz fusion. goes without saying) and funk, also new wave though i’m picky with that shit, and have also been slowly delving into both afrobeat and italo disco LOL i’m a simple man who loves good baselines more than god what can i say

with regards to specific artists, i think the biggest non prog rock one for me is everything everything HOWEVER their main designation is art rock which is basically just prog rock and i do very much consider them progressive pop so lol. otherwise hmmm…. there’s this one moldovan band called zdob și zdub that i’ve been really into lately and uh rule of thumb for most romanian/moldovan bands is that they’ve GOTTA throw in some traditional folk instruments so it’s kind of just. weird eastern european folk rock. it’s funny. similarly rubycone is a moldovan math rock band that does a little bit of that shit but they’re actually fairly based in like. more english conventions of both lyrics and the genre itself. very interesting to listen to

bringing up jazz fusion again one of my favorite bands in there is acoustic ladyland real good shit. oh also i’m not like. the most well versed with any kind of electronic music, i’m actually very picky with stuff esp if it’s meant to be more listenable than danceable but osamu sato’s music is extremely evocative to me and i love it a lot

special mention also goes to talking heads i’ve had a lot of their songs on my rotation recently but after learning of the remain in light 2020s tours with adrian belew singing for part of the sets i’ve just been like. way more smitten with those versions than anything with byrne in there hah. take a listen

youtube

AS FOR THE CCS QUESTION. god i could literally talk about that shit all day and i absolutely have when it comes to minute character references and whatnot but to speak about inspirations for the story broadly….

i started writing it in the midst of getting into the coheed and cambria album ‘the afterman’ which is about a guy travelling into space to investigate a series of planets that end up hosting the dead souls of everybody in the world. something roughly like that. and then also when i was getting into psychonauts! so the two kind of crossed in my mind to form a story about a kid with great magical prowess who usurps a space journey to save people from something, and as i furnished the concept and made it more ‘its own thing’ and changed it into a space train instead of a spaceship, made the space train actually go into a place between dimensions rather than space, and then i decided it’d be more interesting to have the train itself be a point of conflict rather than something external. and i also added a lot of interpersonal drama and themes of communication and character interaction that resembled psychonauts’ a lot, since that was the most memorable and charming part of the game to me

i’ve wanted to write about this point in the past and kept forgetting but initially the main conflict centered around some kind of cosmic serpent that wanted to kill everyone and dalisay was going to bargain with it. uhhh and there was a very blunt side plot about the spaceships being advertised as ‘cruises’ of some kind that were in fact intentionally made by rich people to supply the serpent with sacrifices. it ended up feeling very determinist and impersonal so i did away with a lot of that and instead framed the story around the concept of voluntary isolation and the idea of being an ‘outcast’ in society and the ways people may try to refute that or fall into that role…. a lot of those ideas are kind of just natural philosophies i’ve argued with myself about over the years as an extremely schizoid guy and they’re themes i feel are very uhhh. inaccessible? just not talked about or represented in a lot of media. but it’s something that hits home very hard and if my story’s like one of the only stories to depict the schizoid dilemma in a non-clinical fashion i’m pleased

i have all kinds of things to mention about the development of the narrative but honestly i’ve been thinking about just making an actual little zine or something detailing the various changes in the plot and why i made them + more detailed pointing out of inspirations. from the beginning i’ve preserved a lot of old documents and a lot of old variations of them entirely for the sake of revisiting early ideas and tracking progress so im excited to put that to work :+) we’ll see! but for now getting into how i makes the thing

i actually have a complete record of the process! basically what i did was just note down the names of various things i liked that had very pleasant names, not necessarily informative ones (which was an intentional choice — i wanted ccs to sound like the title of an overdone pompous concept album!) and i tried to brainstorm similar titles based on the word order, syllable structure, etc of those titles while also reeling in some tangential concepts that i felt were cool. and then once i had enough of them i whittled down those ideas into smaller and smaller groups until i eventually just had one title i liked best

first i want to note that ‘trainstory’ as a title is part of the tradition i have of just naming new projects very simple two-word descriptive titles, and i often still use those as ‘informal’ names for said projects. among others i have are wizardworld (corpusmancy) and moldaviaworld (argent rattle LOL)

i wrote the top and bottom lists out first and then slotted the titles list in the middle, to sort of visualise the mixture of the two. i was initially trying to think of words relating to retro technology, navigation, and human incoherency, ambiguity, attitude, etc. i think simulacrum stood out to me because initially i conceived of ccs as a game that was very. busy and complicated in terms of being a communication based jrpg with characters changing their regard of you quickly and doing things like lying, etc etc it was just meant to convey the flighty changes in the human mind and then it ended up being very appropriate when it became a story about technological progression and artificial life and ghosts and shit. and also matched the setting from the get-go since i always wanted it to have the basic principle of ‘yeah, it’s the future and people everywhere are trying to emulate retro fashion and architectural styles’

there was a mild fixation with blood and circulation at first? i wasn’t feeling it though, obviously. also i’m never really fond of just giving a project a one word name partially because i dont want to make searching for things a pain in the ass and also because i like the novelty of nonsense word salad names that sound cool. as you can clearly tell from the fact i like prog rock and also kurt vonnegut novels

i’m still fond of stage one simulacrum honestly, but i think that sounded far more scientific for my taste, which was also the problem with ice cold simulacrum. i think with that one i realised i wanted something that’d relate to dalisay’s weather theming, so i remembered the term ‘cold case’ existed and i thought it was appropriate considering the story dealt with the unsolved mystery of the fornax train while also being a pun on being a ‘cold’ case. like snow or something. and then i just tossed the word simulacrum on there and called it a day, which is a lazy way to put it but it is basically all there is. uhhh i’m very fond of it now though, ccs is a snappy acronym and the c in the middle of simulacrum does just give the whole thing a nice rhythm

that’s all i got this successfully tired me 🫡 hitting the hay now thank youuu

#ask

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watching-pictures-move · 1 year

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Viddying the Nasties | Cannibal Terror (Deruelle, 1980)

This review contains mild spoilers.

When it comes to the cannibal genre, I'm getting the sense that there are a few main strands. One consists of movies that, while not devoid of exploitative elements, work on the strength of the filmmaking, that put actual effort into framing these elements into a compelling narrative experience. Mountain of the Cannibal God is one such recent viewing that falls into this category. Another consists of movies that are more purely exploitative experiences, that work on the pungency of the images they contain, no matter how well or poorly made the movie around them might be. Cannibal Ferox is a movie that I didn't like very much but will concede works on this level. And then there are movies that are neither well made nor noxious enough to work as effective examples of the genre, and the most you can hope for are some laughs. Cannibal Terror falls into this category.

Despite my distaste for some of the elements endemic to these movies, I've found them to have a baseline of watchability on the basis of their jungle settings. The jungle is an environment of such visual richness and such potent atmosphere that even captured through subpar filmmaking, it manages to have some presence. Of course, it helps quite a bit if you're working with a real jungle, instead of the Spanish countryside where this appears to have been filmed. Don't get me wrong, the scenery here looks nice, and you get to soak it in during the endless scenes in which the characters walk from one place to another, but this movie is very obviously not set anywhere south of the equator, so the tropical atmosphere I want from these movies is somewhat lacking.

These movies are fairly consistent in their view of the jungle being somewhere between an amoral canvas and an equalizing force, and this maybe goes a bit further in its anti-colonial critique than some of the others. One of the legacies of colonialism has been changing the demographics of the colonized regions, and this movie boldly acknowledges this by casting as the cannibals a bunch of white guys with sideburns and mustaches. Yeah, let's go with that. ***SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING*** Anyway, in most of these movies the cannibals are morally neutral and essentially act in accordance to their natures (as in, they eat people because that's what they do), but here, they take an actual moral stance, specifically targeting the villains who kidnapped a child, leaving the child unharmed, and giving her father a lead as to where she might be. The cannibal chief seems like a nice guy.***END SPOILERS*** Also, this might be mean, but I'm not sure that kid would have been a great loss to society. When her dad calls her and has her guess what present he got her, his increasingly obvious hints do not get her anywhere close to the answer. "When you stroke it, it goes meow... No, it isn't a zebra."

One other thing to appreciate about this one is the lack of animal cruelty, as the movie relies heavily on nonviolent stock footage to create the illusion that it's set in the jungle. You could argue that the relative mildness of most of the runtime helps the more outrageous content in the climax pop, in a way similar to Mountain of the Cannibal God. You could argue anything you want. Last I checked it's a free country. But you'd be wrong. Because while that movie is arguably lower key during its first two thirds, things still happen. There's an emphasis on survival elements and actual jungle atmosphere, not just characters walking and walking and walking and walking. And that movie definitely delivers in its climax. Here, the gore scenes consist of extras holding guts close to their mouth but being careful not to take any actual bites, all while struggling to keep a straight face, as well as an incompetently-edited shootout that blows away the 180 rule.

So this is very, very bad (to the point that the producer apparently threw the director under the bus when it played at Cannes), although you might get some chuckles here and there or at least enjoy zoning out to the pleasant scenery. On that note, this feels like something you should watch on some blurry as hell VHS tape, so it boggles my mind that it can be seen in a beautifully restored HD transfer. What an age we live in.

#film #movie review #viddying the nasties #cannibal terror #alain deruelle

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abyssmalice · 1 year

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(a continuation of the other post bc Gotta Ramble About Trees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said me, #1 Irminsul Fan Since Day 1 Of This God Damn Game-)

tonitonis vs nahidie vs rhukkie

i hc the difference between the two tonis and Nahida is this:

the two tonis know exactly what they are to Irminsul - they are human-originating, independent branches of the great tree.

due to their initial circumstances of gaining its favor (revival and op powers) in exchange for serving it, Irminsul as the entity views the two as branches of itself. however, technically speaking, the two are not literal parts of Irminsul, more "grafted" with a portion of itself.

Nahida, while being a pure branch of Irminsul, was expressly "cut off" from Irminsul to prevent her from being contaminated from the get-go by forbidden knowledge by Rhukkadevata - and even then, this truth was erased with the retconning of world history, to Nahida "simply having amnesia due to using up all of her powers during the Calamity" rather than being a separate successor.

as such, while Nahida has the abilities to interface with Irminsul much like the two tonis, she is not considered a "part" of Irminsul - both literally and as per the Irminsul etntity. she is her own, essentially very small and independent tree.

as such, Nahida is not bound by Irminsul's rules for itself or its proxies. neither does she have (immediate; she can learn, with time) access to the tree's more esoteric secrets.

now, the difference between the tonis and Rhukkadevata:

Rhukkadevata had similar conditions as the tonis - she was, after all, Irminsul's avatar at the time. to be precise, she was a part of Irminsul's mess of a clusterfuck personality that wanted to and did intervene in the world.

her focus was the betterment of the world - the desire and the hope that Irminsul's power and knowledge could lead to greater happiness and prosperity for the people that carved the history Irminsul watches. the idea that non-intervention, while alright, was the lesser step to take. that it would simply be better to lend its presence to the world that Irminsul, somewhere, surely did love.

in other words, she was a true part of Irminsul - both biologically and to the Irminsul entity - who was given a free pass on ignoring Irminsul's baseline restrictions.

biased? cheating? maybe. lmao. whoever said irminsul was fair and impartial all the way through its long existence, huh? to have a sense of ego means the capability of being egoistic, after all.

nonetheless, Rhukkadevata didn't want to go overboard and just dump every bit of advanced and esoteric knowledge on the world. she truly hoped to encourage the joy and discipline of learning, of the richness of gaining wisdom itself. you could say as such that she was hand-holding humanity as it learnt to walk - helping surely, but ultimately, the effort of standing and putting one foot forward after another was from the people itself. she gave her knowledge (cheat codes) only when the people were truly stumped.

also, on the hypothetical premise rhukka is still around in the same room as the tonis - yes, the tonis are sorta subservient to rhukka in status. not by a whole lot, but still lol

DAINSLEIF THE TWLIGHT SWORD AKA THIS YOUNG MAN THINKS HE'S OLD? LOL HAHA WATCH THIS SAID TINY TONI SLAMMING 100000 YEARS OF KNOWLEDGE INTO THEIR HEAD-

not much info on dainsleif is around currently so this is PURELY 10000% hc and speculation based

specifically, the idea that dainsleif has merged with irminsul in some fashion.

if that's the case, dainsleif is in a very funny position of being Junior Leyline Intern to his senior tonitoni leyline gofers. well in my head he is anyway.

i like to think dainsleif tried to use the leylines to help with his curse, and got cool leyline powers and the ability to observe the world and it's history through it. but this wasn't necessarily bc Irminsul the entity actually determined so - more a case of dainsleif making use of the leylines, much in the same way man figures out how to cook meat with fire, combining whatever man-made or man-learnt knowledge there is towards an advancement.

aka in simpler words dainsleif just did some shit with the leylines and got some stuff out of it on his own. he's not considered a part of Irminsul and is not obligated to serve it.

that said, by being able to peer through the leylines, he's possibly aware of the two tonis and them having some kind of connection to the great tree.

tiny toni the harbingy vs tiny toni the irminsul gofer vs the world

you'd think Irminsul would be more pissed about Tonia being a Harbinger and using her Irminsul-gifted endurance and abilities for what essentially amounts to warmongering with Celestia - but tbh they don't care that much? lol

as previously noted, Irminsul doesn't care if people discover the secrets of the tree and might scientific advancements based on Irminsul - if they get to these things on their own, without Irminsul or its proxies giving away these things themselves.

as such, they will tolerate if civilizations learn to divine knowledge from the leylines and flourish upon the roots - they will tolerate if, say, Abyss Mages tend to take cuttings and sprouts of the tree for elemental usage they otherwise wouldn't have - if third-parties capitalize on the tree and its parts on their own, with their own hands and on their own two feet.

it's why they weren't too bothered when the younger Tonia was taken in by Dottore and experimented on - as long as she didn't say shit herself, didn't give away any knowledge or secrets, they were more or less turning a blind eye. Tonia, after all, is a "branch" of Irminsul. a part of it. that can be studied on, much less like any inanimate part of the tree. she just has the ability to walk and talk and think for herself, which Irminsul was only watching to see if she would leak anything she shouldn't.

callous? certainly. tho, not to say some part of Irminsul wasn't very offended by all of this - surely, some part of it was ragingly upset. remember, they aren't wholly nor perfectly cohesive in terms of having a mind of its own. however, if they were to do anything about it at this point, that would defeat the whole point of putting down a non-interventionist baseline for themselves.

that said, it would seem paradoxical for Irminsul to not care about what happens after - that Tonia had massacred hundreds in her futile jailbreak (one life has so many ripples as is), that she became a Harbinger after and leans on her Irminsul side for her duties. in a sense, it should seem like Irminsul is intervening in the world. she is, after all, paving history with Irminsul's powers.

Irminsul is aware the situation is more complicated for her - Tonia was and is still a young child, only ending up killing all those people due to being mentally out of it from being put through more duress than any normal person would. she was brought forward to the Tsaritsa as a possible tool and as a vulnerable child. none of this occurred with her as a servant and proxy of Irminsul itself.

Tonia's actions and choices that followed were not motivated nor based upon her connections to Irminsul. they were purely due to the girl's personal desires and interests, her human side and not the side that must be devoted to Irminsul.

at the very least, that is the argument that some parts of Irminsul - and her elder counterpart, who holds a fair amount of sway with Irminsul - make for the young girl.

so long as Tonia doesn't cause dramatic changes to the world in her role as Irminsul's servant - not as a person of Teyvat, not as a Harbinger - then fine, they can let things (barely) slide for now.

in any case, the younger Tonia is viewed funnily by Irminsul - as a serving branch at minimum, yes. but she's also considered something of an ineffective branch (has no real will to live, only doing her duties bc she simply has to), and requires putting some resources into being coddled (for the parts of Irminsul that advocate for tiny toni to do whatever she wants bc they don't like feeling regret and also that's a kid!!!! ya stupid heads have some heart and morals!!!!).

#(''flower stop writing hc posts so long u need to split them into multiple posts that are LONG ANYWAY'' challenge failed)#(sorry brain said keep talking ehe)#headcanons | (without love it cannot be seen);#headcanons | (there is no love lost here but me);#(I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ON BIG TREES I GUESS OK)

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wixelt · 2 years

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The Planters aren't entirely sure what to expect from these giants.

The first was huge and muscular and a skilled hunter and, while from different worlds, an example of what Anne could be as an adult (although they wouldn't learn until later that included the skill in magic). She also had a plethora of battle scars.

The second was less bulky and more doll like, but had wings, a clear indication of a predator to the Planters. He was alien in disposition, almost like a fey creature in mentality, and had many of the tells of a predator in these actions. Luckily, these tendencies would not be pointed at you unless you first showed hostility to him.

So far, physical traits were decent metrics of judging these people, although first one would have to take Anne's kindness as a baseline with none of her naivety. The third would continue the pattern of Anne as a baseline. It would not continue the pattern of physical signs.

Xisuma was whiplash at every step. At first, they had mistaken him for another robot of this old factory as he had changed his armor to frog mode. His ability to speak and respond and clumsiness and Anne's realization that the screen in the middle of his face was a visor for a helmet, gave them the realization that this was probably a hermit. When their other two hermits told the others that this klutz in thick power armor seemingly to protect him more from his own two left feet than monsters was their admin, something they had gotten the impression from False and Grian's stories was a God-like being with great powers of creation and death that governed a great ship which traversed the stars, but did not seem to be treated with any degree of reverence by the other two beyond what you may give a village mayor, they hoped that maybe he was some form of exception to the rules they had gaged for the hermits. Deep down, they new, however, that he most certainly was not.

I had a different intro in mind for X, involving a certain wax museum, but I love this & it fits thematically, so Fort in the Road is now what happens instead (this also means Xisuma's present for Quarreler's Pass, one more person Hop Pop has to convince to let Sprig & Polly go it alone).

After False & Grian (& Scar, met but currently with Sasha), the Plantars were ready to take whatever weirdness the next Hermit they ran into carried at face value, the only question being what extreme away from Anne's standard they'd be in for.

Understandably, a supposedly god-like entity who's seemingly just a clumsy dude in pressurized armor - & the first time he takes the helmet off proves he really is just some human guy - feels like a bit of a contradiction. Sprig & Polly take it in stride, while Hop Pop is more suspicious/inquisitive, knowing from the power someone as visibly mundane as Grian can display that looks aren't everything.

For now, though, X is the bearer of bad news for Grian & False. As they'd feared, he's absent his admin powers in Amphibia, & attempts to make some form of contact with a local divinity to cut a deal have failed. In the meantime, he's been stuck scouting, his suit's control link to the Hermithius severed in the scattering (though when he learns Anne's involvement, he assures the guilt-ridden girl the ship's programmed to auto-rendezvous, so its fine). He's gotten a good idea of the local populations, but has steered clear of direct encounters til now. He's been at this factory for several weeks before the Plantar group & their shenanigans rocked up, time spent trying to adapt his armor with local technology to better blend in (might be a plot-line here where he briefly looses control of his suit due to Amphibia tech trying to take over, but we'll see).

Anne, Sprig & Polly all think his armor is cool, though he laments that diamond or netherite exo-plating (my thought on how X wears Minecraft armor) would've been a better option, still, confusing the frog kids & giving Anne food for thought, as False has so far only loosely gone over the "tiers" of armor the Hermits have access to.

Right now, he's just a guy in a suit. But he's a guy in a suit with the mission to bring the Hermits - his family of choice - back together.

#hermitphibia au #hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft au #amphibia #amphibia au #xisumavoid #grian #anne boonchuy #falsesymmetry #hopediah plantar #hop pop plantar #sprig plantar #polly plantar

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davidmann95 · 3 years

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Sooo… Superman and the Authority?

magnus-king123 asked: Your thoughts on Superman & the authority Give it to me...lol

Anonymous asked: Seeing Bezos take his little trip into space the same day Morrison puts out a Superman comic that touches on how far we’ve fallen from the days when we dreamed of utopian futures where everyone explored the stars was a big gut punch. Not used to Superman being topical in that way.

Anonymous asked: What'd you think of Superman and the Authority#1?

This is far beyond what I can fit in the normal weekly reviews, so taking this as my notes on the first six pages, with this and this as my major lead-in thoughts:

* Janin's such a perfect fit for Morrison - the scale, the power, the facial expressions selling the character work, the screwing around with the panel formatting as necessary to sell the effect, the numinous sense of things going on larger than you can fully perceive amidst the beauty and chaos. It's a shame he wasn't around 25 years ago to draw JLA, but I'll take him going with Morrison onto other future projects.

* His intro action sequence is such a great demonstration of why Black actually does have something to offer, and also how he's such a dumbass desperately needing Superman to save him from himself.

* While Jordie Bellaire didn't legit go with an entirely monochromatic palate the way early previews suggested, it's still an effect frequently and excellently deployed here. And glad to see Steve Wands carry into this from Blackstars since there's such an obvious carryover from its work with Superman.

* "Gentlemen. Ladies. Others." Great both because of the obvious - hey, Superman's nodding at me! - and because it's a phrasing that reinforces that this take on him (and let's be real Morrison) is old as hell.

* I'm mostly past caring about whether this is an alt-Earth Superman until it becomes indisputable one way or another, this and Action both rule so what does it really matter? But while there are still a couple signs in play suggesting some kind of division (the Action Comics #1036 cover, Midnighter up to time-travel shenanigans) the "lost in time" quote clearly thrown in after the fact to explain how he could have met Kennedy outside of 5G that wouldn't be necessary for an Elseworlds, the assorted gestures towards Superman's current status quo, the Kingdom Come symbol appearing in Action, and that Morrison would have had to completely rewrite the ending if this wasn't supposed to be 'the' version of Clark Kent going forward as was the intent when they first planned it all say to me that no, no fooling around, this is our guy going forward one way or another.

* Janin and Bellaire making the first version of the crystal Fortress ever that actually looks as cool as you want it to.

Anonymous asked: I like that Superman and The Authority is basically the anti-All-Star; instead of the laid back, immortal Superman who is supercharged, we have a stressed, ageing Superman whose tremendous powers are fading. The former will always be there to save us, but the latter is running out of time and needs to pull off a Hail Mary. Also, he mentions in his monologue to Black that he was "lost in time" when he met JFK, so maybe he is the main continuity Clark. Or he's the t-shirt Supes from Sideways.

* You're absolutely right - the power reversal is obvious and the ticking clock in play seemingly isn't for his own survival but everyone around him as he wakes up and realizes all the old icons grew complacent with the gains they'd made and he's not leaving behind the world he meant to. Both, however, are built on the idea of preparing the world to not need them anymore - it'll still have a Superman in his son, but that'll only work because of the others he empowers and inspires. The question is what happens to Clark if he's not going to live in the sun for 83000 years.

* Clark's 'exercise' here does more to sell me on the idea of Old Man Superman as a cool idea than however many decades of Earth 2 stuff.

* Intergang being noted alongside Darkseid and Doomsday speaks to how much Kirby informed Morrison's conception of Superman.

* This isn't exactly the most progressive in its disability politics but at least it makes clear Black's being a piece of shit about it.

* It's startling how much Clark can get away with saying stuff in here you'd never expect to come out of Superman's mouth. "I made an executive decision" "Privacy, really...?" "You have nowhere to go, Black. Nothing to live for." "There are few people in my life who I instinctively and viscerally dislike, and you've always been one of them." It only works because there's zero aggression behind it, he's just past the point of niceties and being totally frank while making clear none of these assessments preclude that he cares and is going to unconditionally do the right thing every time. He is absolutely, per Morrison, humanity's dad picking us up when we're too drunk to drive ourselves home.

* The story doesn't put a big flashing light over it, but it's not even a little bit subtle having the material threat of the issue be a ticking timebomb left by the carelessness and hubris of generations past.

* Manchester keeps trying to poke the bear and prove his hot takes about Superman and it's just not working. The front he put up under Kelley is gone after decades of defeats, and as Morrison understands what actually conceptually works about him as a rival to Superman underneath the aging nerd paranoia he's exposed as what he absolutely would be in 2021: a dude with a horrific terminal case of Twitter brainworms. I was PANICKED when I heard there was an 'offensive term' joke in this, I was braced for Morrison at their well-meaning worst, but it's such a goddamn perfect encapsulation of a very specific breed of Twitter leftist who uses their politics first and foremost as a cudgel and justification to label their abrasive, judgmental shittiness as self-righteousness (plus it's a killer payoff to a joke from way back in his original appearance). Cannot believe they pulled that off when they're so very, very open about basically not knowing how the internet works.

* @charlottefinn: Manchester Black using his telekinetic powers to force someone he hates to fave a problematic tweet so that he can screenshot it and start a dogpile

@intergalactic-zoo: “Once they cancel Bibbo, Superman won’t be *anyone’s* fav’rit anymore!”

* Friend noted this issue had to be fully the conversation because the whole premise stands on the house of cards of these two somehow working together, and with three 'silent' inset panels the creative team pulls off that turning point.

* So much of this feels on the surface like Morrison bringing back the All-Star vibes with Clark, but when he drops a "That's all you got?" in a brawl you realize what's underlining that bluntness and confidence in the face of failure is that deep down this is still the Action guy too. This dude ain't gonna get wrecked in his Fortress while the other guy chuckles about him being A SOFT WEE SCIENTIST'S SON!

* Bringing up Jor-El made me realize that Morrison already spelled out that this is the final threat to Superman, what he faces at the end of the road:

"Now it's your turn, Superman."

* A l'il Superman 2000/All-Star reference with the Phantom Zone map!

* There's so much intertextuality going on here even by Morrison standards - Change or Die with the old hero putting together a team of morally nebulous folks out to 'fix' everything, Flex Mentallo with the muscleman trying to redeem the punk, Doomsday Clock with the fate of the world hinging on whether Superman can get through to a meta stand-in for an idea of 'modern' comics cynicism, DKR and New Frontier and Kingdom Come and Multiversity and Seven Soldiers and What's So Funny and All-Star and Action and the last 5 years of monthly Superman comics and Authority and probably Jupiter's Legacy and Tom Strong - but none of that's needed. You could go in with the baseline pop cultural understanding of the character and not care about any of the inside baseball shit and get that this is a story about a leader of a generation that let down the people they made all their grand promises to as inertia and day-to-day demands and complacency let him be satisfied with the accomplishments they'd made long ago, looking at a new era and seeing the ways its own activists are dropping the ball. The only thing that fundamentally matters in a "you have to accept you're reading a superhero story" sense is that because he's Superman he's willing to own up to it and listen to people who might know better about some things and try to set things right while he and those who'll take his place still have a chance. And yes, the oldster looking back on their legacy with a skeptical eye and hoping for better from the next generation, hoping most of all that their little heir apparent can fulfill the promise inside of him instead of being a provocating little shitkicker, is obviously also autobiographical.

* The overlaying Kennedy reprisal is such a great visual of a sudden intrusive thought.

* The Kryptonite secret is the obvious "This is going to matter!" moment, but "He lied about his son" is a bit that doesn't connect to anything going on right now so maybe that's important here too? More significantly, the Justice League can't actually be the villains here but that Ultra-Humanite's crew are in an Earth-orbiting satellite makes pretty clear what's up.

* I've said before that between Superman, OMAC, and a New Gods-affiliated speedster this was going to use all of Morrison's favorite things. King Arthur playing a role isn't exactly dissuading me.

* Love the idea that all the antiheroes have their own community in the same way as the capes and tights crew. They definitely all privately think the rest are posers though and that they alone are Garth Ennis Punisher in a mob of Garth Ennis Wolverines.

* Manchester's fallen so far he's gone from trying to convince Superman to kill to convince him to dunk on people for their bad takes and Clark just doesn't get it. Official prediction of dialogue for upcoming issues:

"According to these bloody Fortress scans, the only thing that can restore your powers is an unfiltered hit of dopamine. Don't worry, Doctor Black has a few ideas."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll plant a nice tree?"

"...fuck you."

* Ok I already talked about how great the Fortress looks in here but LOVE this library.

* A pair of pages this seems like the right spot to discuss from Black's original appearance that underlines both his and Superman's inadequacies up to this point:

Responding to the problem of "the government and penal system are hopelessly corrupt" neither of them has any actual notion of what to do about it in spite of their respective posturing beyond how to handle individual outside actors - each is in their own way every bit as small-minded and reactionary as the other. Clark's coming around though, and he's holding out hope for the other guy.

* Superman: Have a lovely mineral water :) proper hydration is important :)

Manchester Black: *Is a dude who can get so mad he vomits and passes out. At water.*

* That last page is the one to beat for the year, and does more to put over the idea of this as an Authority book than that Midnighter and Apollo are literally going to show up. It also feels like Morrison tacitly acknowledging all the ways the premise could go or at least be received wrong - from Superman saying 'enough is enough' to who he's bringing into the fold to go about it - in the most beautifully on-the-nose fashion imaginable. Maybe they'll save us all! Or maybe they'll drown us in their vomit.

#Superman and The Authority #Superman #The Authority #Manchester Black #Grant Morrison #Mikel Janin #Jordie Bellaire #Steve Wands #Opinion

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rosemarydisaster · 3 years

Text

Okay, Laudna Theory Time:

(spoilers for CR Campaign 3 episodes 1-2, and the Briarwood arc from Campaign 1)

I wanna start by saying that I would love to be on the Dhampir train for this one, I truly do but...Hollow One. Not only does Laudna have Unsettling Presence (a Hollow One Ability) but it would also work really well for a Whitestone background.

The Necromantic influence of the Briarwoods (and we know she was a young woman back then) would be more than enough to create a Hollow One from one of their many victims on purpose or on accident. The way she talks about the De Rolo family makes it seem like she's not part of them, but Hollow ones have trouble remembering their previous lives.

Parting from this Hollow One theory I have two sub-theories:

Laudna is a De Rolo, killed during the Briarwood attack and somehow raised without many memories of her previous life. This would make sense because she speaks very vaguely about the De Rolos and the town previous to the Briarwoods, but seems to remember semi-clearly other things afterwards. It would also make sense with the white streak on her hair, but that might also just be an aesthetic choice. She mentions when talking about Paté de Rolo something along the lines of "there were a lot of de Rolos and it sounded fancy". That could be baseline knowledge of a local or it could be historical knowledge about the family.

Laudna is one of the people the Briarwoods hanged from the Suntree dressed as Vox Machina (probably the Vex one). She seemed to know about Vox Machina going to the city but didn't know that the De Rolos were still alive, which could be explained by how memories of her previous life are foggy. Maybe she runned away as soon as she came back, never really learning about the new turn of events. This fits better with Laudna not being fond of the De Rolos, having been killed to scare one of them. Maybe she resents the family for trusting the Briarwoods and condemning her and the rest of Whitestone to their rule. I don't necessarily think she remembers that she is dead or at least not the circumstances surrounding her death, I mean it more as an instinctual resentment.

Now, other special mentions go to:

Hexblood Laudna. She looks the part, a deal with a hag could explain the Warlock bit, and the cursed blood the sorcerer bit. It's certainly a really interesting idea courtesy of one of my friends who plays a Hexblood. Hear me out, what if Lady Briarwood wanted a child but with the whole Necromantic bullshit going on it was impossible so she had to make a Pact with a Hag/Mr Evil Hand?? Laudna could be the child of that pact which would not only make her a Hexblood, but also could relate to her Warlock pact.

Dhampir Laudna. Every day we stray further away from God Dhampir, but Jesus do I wish that wasn't the case. I just really like the Briarwood lovechild idea, but it doesn't add up that much even on an aesthetic level. I pray I'm proven wrong because that would be super sexy and cool.

#spoilers cr #campaign 3 spoilers #spoilers critical role #tlovm spoilers #spoilers cr3 episode 1 #spoilers cr3 episode 2 #briarwood arc #laudna #paté de rolo #pate de rolo

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lemonpeter · 4 years

Text

Sugar And Spice

Chapter 1

So, here is the beginning of a new fic! I’m really excited about this one, I love pregnancy fics so this is my kinda unconventional take on one lol I hope everyone enjoys 💕 I’m a little nervous to post it because I love it but I’m not sure other people will, so please don’t be too harsh 💕

On ao3

Warnings: discussion of pregnancy (not mpreg, this is not that kind of fic), surrogacy, Peter’s age isn’t mentioned (but he’s somewhere in his early 20s)

————

The first time Peter proposed his wish it was completely out of blue.

He and Tony were cuddled up together, just holding each other and whispering sweet nothings that made the other blush uncontrollably. It was one of their favorite pastimes together, always entertaining.

But one thing Peter whispered was completely different than the others:

“God, I want a baby with you.”

To say it surprised Tony was an understatement.

The older man choked on his own tongue, coughing and sputtering until he caught his breath again. “You...Peter. Honey. Love of my life. You realize that’s...impossible, right?”

His husband just sighed a little, kissing him gently. “I mean, it’s impossible from us, but we could still have a baby. We could adopt. Or something like that.”

Tony watched him, trying to gauge if he was serious. But the dreamy look on the other’s face told him that this really was something he wanted. “Yeah...something like that….”

They’d talked about kids before. Peter wanted them, Tony wasn’t sure. He’d never even considered the possibility for a multitude of reasons before he met Peter. But then they got together and he saw the appeal of having children. Of course, it wouldn’t just happen, but there were other ways. They just hadn’t really discussed them too much.

Although he figured maybe the time of not talking about it was over.

But then it didn’t get elaborated on. Maybe Peter got embarrassed, maybe it was just a fleeting thought he shared. So it was a while before it was talked about again.

It wasn’t brought up again for nearly six months.

But then they were buying their first house together. Not an apartment, not a penthouse over Stark Industries. An actual house, complete with their own land and-

And it had a couple extra bedrooms.

Tony’s thinking was that they could use them for storage, maybe knock out a wall between a couple of the rooms to make an extended lab.

Peter, on the other hand, touched the door frame of one with more gentleness than Tony had ever seen. A tiny, dreamy smile pulled at his lips.

“What, honey? You got any ideas for this one?”

The younger man nodded a little as he turned to face his husband again. “This room would be so perfect for a nursery.”

And Tony was taken by surprise all over again. He didn’t choke this time, at least.

But his heartbeat sped up considerably and suddenly he could see exactly what Peter was talking about.

His eyes darted around the room as he mentally mapped everything out. A crib in that corner, a changing table there, play area, dresser. He envisioned Peter entering the room with a little baby in his arms as he hummed under his breath.

Wait- no, the humming really was coming from Peter.

“What do you think?” He asked nervously. “Is that stupid? I mean, I know we can’t really...yknow. But I still….” he trailed off, sighing a little. “Never mind.”

The nervousness and shutting himself down made Tony think that maybe that was why it hadn’t been talked about again.

“No, no,” Tony quickly assured him. “I can definitely…” he looked around the room. “Yeah, I can definitely see a nursery in here.”

The younger man still looked down, sighing again. “But it’s not...possible. I know.” He rubbed his arm, an action Tony knew he used to calm himself down. The fact that they couldn’t have kids genuinely upset him.

That just wouldn’t do.

“Hey, don’t say that. We could still have a baby. We could adopt, like you’ve talked about. Or there’s the surrogate route.”

Peter watched Tony, nodding a little. “Yeah...you’re right….” he just didn’t know how to really go about anything.

Tony hummed a little, one finger tapping to his chin as the ideas flooded his mind.

His husband watched curiously. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing, nothing. But all I’m saying is it’s not impossible. Maybe in one way it is, but there’s always more than one way.”

The younger man finally smiled a little, nodding. “Yeah. Maybe we can...look into other ways?”

“Of course, honey. Of course we can.” He picked the man up and spun him around, laughing softly before kissing him. “We’ll have our baby.” He looked around the room. “You’re so right about this room, honey. I can’t wait to see it in action.”

———

The house was purchased and a week later they started moving in.

They worked hard, filling every room that they had plans and decor for. The rest of the avengers helped as well as some of Peter’s non-powered friends. Everything was unloaded pretty quickly and then Peter and Tony were alone again.

Peter disappeared for a while after Tony started on sorting out his tools and things in the garage. But after a while, he started missing his husband and went looking for him.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to find him in the vacant room that they had discussed being a nursery.

The younger man was sitting on the floor, fingers sliding over the soft, new carpet.

There was no furniture or any boxes in the room, as Tony specifically told everyone to keep it empty. They had plans for it, even if the plans weren’t set in stone yet.

Tony moved to sit next to Peter, groaning a little as he felt his knees creak in protest. “God, my knees and back are really feeling the heavy lifting we did.”

His husband looked at him, laughing softly. “I told you to leave the lifting to the super people. Your poor old man back can’t handle it,” he teased.

The older man snorted. “Oh, shut up. I’m not old. Just got a decade of superheroing and being thrown around under my belt. My poor body has been through a lot.”

“Uh huh. So you should have left it to us.”

Tony chuckled. “I know, I know….” he smiled a little. “So...have you just been sitting in here?”

“Yeah,” Peter admitted. “Is that super weird?”

“I kind of expected it,” Tony told him. “You’ve got baby fever,” he teased. “Of course you’d be in the nursery.”

“Not a nursery yet.”

“Yet.”

There was a moment of silence, almost tense as Peter audibly took a heavy breath.

“I want a baby so bad, Tony. I don’t know why it’s so sudden but it is. We would be such good parents! And we’ve got a new house with space, a big yard, more than enough money to support a child.” He sighed a little. “But I know...you don’t really….”

“What? I don’t what?”

“You don’t...really want kids. I know we’ve talked about it but-“

Tony made an offended noise. “I do want kids. I wouldn’t lie to you about that. Peter, I would love to have a child with you. It just takes time to look into everything, a baby isn’t just a split second decision.”

“Then let’s talk about it. Let’s talk. Plan. Find the best plan for us. Let’s do this, Tony!” Peter looked at him, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. He had put himself down for so long because he didn’t think that Tony really wanted kids. So he would jump at the chance to talk knowing that wasn’t actually the case.

“Okay. Okay.” He smiled a little. “We’ll talk about it. But for tonight we need to relax. Most of everything is set up and we have a new house to christen,” he joked.

“You’re so dirty,” Peter laughed, covering his mouth.

“Is that a no?”

“No, we definitely need to do that. Doesn’t make you any less dirty, though.”

———

They did months of research.

Adoption was ruled out after a bit, it seemed too emotionally complicated from their points of view. And they’d determined that they want one of them to share genetics with the baby. Even if both of them couldn’t be biological parents, they wanted to have one. They wanted their baby to look like them.

So they began looking into surrogacy instead.

They got in touch with an agency to draw up a baseline contract while they looked for the perfect candidate. And there were many candidates to talk to.

All of the women they interviewed were nice and seemed like good people, but none felt like the One.

Until they met Beatrice.

She was on the younger side and sweet, helpful and seemingly right for them right from the first phone interview. So they set up an in person meeting next.

The first thing that Tony noticed was her eyes.

He didn’t want to say that they looked like Peter’s, because no one could match the level of beauty that his husband’s eyes held. But they were similar enough that he instantly felt a connection to her.

And his immediate thought was that if she was a good match, their baby could potentially look like both of them. Since Beatrice looked so much like Peter.

That wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.

“Come in, let’s sit down,” she murmured, gesturing towards a table and chairs.

They’d set up the meeting at a cafe, so it would be a nice and relaxed setting. And so Peter could have a cup to fidget with nervously as they talked. It seemed like the perfect setting.

“I’ll go order, what do you want, Beatrice?” Tony asked. He slid his fingers over the back of the chair as Peter sat down.

“You don’t have to do that, Mr. Stark, I can do it,” the woman told him, starting to stand.

“No, it’s alright. I can order so you and Peter can talk and I’ll pay for your drink.”

She sat back down, smiling a little. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. That’s very kind. I think I’ll just have...oh, anything mocha. Surprise me. As long as it’s got chocolate.” She laughed, looking across the table to Peter.

Tony nodded. “Perfect. I’ll go place the orders. Be back in a moment.” He walked into the building, humming to himself as he did.

Peter smiled at the woman across from him once Tony was gone. “So, have you ever done this before?”

“The interview part? Or the actual end goal?”

“The second one. Have you been a surrogate for anyone yet?” He asked curiously.

“I have. Just once before.” Beatrice smiled a little. “But I’m still in tip top condition so I’m happy to help someone else. And I have my own kiddo at home, so I’ve actually done the whole pregnancy and birth thing twice.” She laughed.

“How did it work the first time? For you and for the family?”

She leaned back in the chair a little. “Well….”

———

When Tony came back, the other two were getting along fine and laughing.

“Glad to see you two are having fun.” He grinned, setting the drink carrier down on the table and sitting next to Peter. “Oh, and I got you a salted caramel mocha,” he told Beatrice. “I hope it’s good.”

“I bet it’s perfect,” she assured him, taking her drink.

Peter smiled, grabbing his cup and taking a sip. He hummed. “Absolutely perfect. Thanks, Tones.”

“What did you get? Probably something fancy-shmancy, being married to this guy,” Beatrice joked.

Tony snorted. “He doesn’t even drink coffee. He has hot chocolate.”

“Fair enough.”

“So what did you guys talk about while I was gone?”

Peter hummed, sipping his drink before talking. “Just about the first time she did this. Carried for someone. It sounds like it went smoothly.” Which was typically a good sign. Even though pregnancies were fairly unpredictable. “And how it all worked between them.”

“Them?” Tony asked.

“Me and the family,” Beatrice told him. “Things were good. They still are. I still get to see the kid if I want to. We’ve had a few meetings.”

The older man nodded. “That sounds really good.” He glanced to Peter.

His husband was absolutely beaming, eyes bright and excited as they kept talking.

He didn’t have to say anything for Tony to know what he was thinking. Of course they’d have to talk about it...but she seemed like the one.

They went on for nearly an hour, discussing every little detail, talking about their lives, things that mattered and things that didn’t matter for the arrangement. They ended the interview with a promise of a next meeting and friendly goodbyes.

Peter and Tony got into their car, taking a moment to relax and process everything that had gone on in their time with the candidate.

Then Peter started crying.

“Honey, what is it?” Tony asked, worried. “Hey, talk to me. Did it not go well?” He was worried that maybe he misread his husband’s reactions to everything. Maybe everything wasn’t as good as he thought.

But, “She’s perfect,” the other man whispered, wiping his eyes. “Tony, it has to be her. She has to be the one. Do a next meeting, all the background stuff, whatever. But it has to be her.”

A smile tugged at Tony’s lips and he nodded. “Of course, honey. Let’s contact the agency. See how she felt about everything. But I think we’ve found our girl.”

“She’s gonna have our baby,” Peter said happily. “God, this is so perfect.”

And Tony couldn’t disagree with that.

#starker #peter parker #tony stark #tony stark x peter parker #tony x peter #married starker #tw pregnancy #pregnancy fic #sugar and spice au #my writing #I think I’ve tagged everything but #someone let me know if I forgot anything #original female character #forgot whoops #Beatrice (sugar and spice)

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recurring-polynya · 4 years

Note

Loved reading your comments on that Izuru post, especially about how people write teasing. You gave some great examples of things to definitely avoid; do you have any tips or general thoughts on writing good teasing?

I have never wanted to talk about anything more in my life.

Teasing is a form of dysfunctional communication that reveals a lot about all the parties involved. It can be layered and complicated, and it can both establish a lot about the relationships of your characters, and provide jumping off points for both bonding and miscommunication.

The most important things to think about when writing teasing are:

What is the teasing character trying to evoke? (this may be conscious or subconscious)

What are the sore points/not sore points of the character being teased?

What am I, the writer, trying to accomplish here?

Let’s start with a very easy example:

Draco Malfoy wants to make Harry Potter mad, so he teases him about his dead mom. J. K. Rowling’s goal as a writer is to convince you that Draco is a dick. It’s super-effective.

It’s a low-blow. It’s deeply mean. There’s no subtlety. This is just bullying. We have all experienced this, we know it when we see it. I don’t think this is the kind of teasing you were asking about, but it’s important to establish this as a baseline, because this is what teasing can turn into, if done wrong.

We can tweak this a little to a very different effect:

Draco wants to make Hermione upset, so he calls her a mudblood.

Harry doesn’t know what this word means, is confused.

Herminione knows this is an insult, but most plays it off. It’s not culturally significant to her and also, she DNGAF about Draco.

Ron goes spare. This is a huge insult to him, he loves his friends, and he has no chill.

Draco is still a dick, but he’s also kind dumb and focuses on insults that would be insulting to him because he doesn’t know his enemy very well and also is not good at thinking outside of his own head.

Now we have fit in exposition and a ton of character-building. Neat!

Let’s move on to friendly teasing. Here are some positive roles teasing can play:

Replacing uncomfortable tension in a group. Often you may have one character in the group who is an outsider for some reason. Perhaps they were a former antagonist, or someone who has some fundamental difference between the characters. Teasing, particularly over something incredibly low stakes and stupid, gives a reason for the outside character to be mildly irritated with the others, which makes it easier for them to relax the actual tension they feel by being in a group where they don’t belong. Think Aang shouting “Flameo, Hotman!” at Zuko or everyone making fun of Uryuu’s cape.

Finding comfort in being marginalized. This is closely related to self-deprecating humor, and a character shouldn’t say something about someone else if they wouldn’t say about themself. Also, characters are going to have different comfort levels with this. I will make jokes about how bisexually I dress and the way that I sit, but I don’t go around shouting “Oh my God, that’s super gay!” although I certainly have gay friends that do. This is a way you can establish how comfortable a character is in that identity, but it can be fraught, and if you don’t have some personal experience with the identity you’re writing about, I would avoid going too hard. In Bleach, I will often have characters from Rukongai bond a little more easily, and make fun of some of the more formal aspects of life in the Seireitei when there are no nobles around. Further, Rukia and Renji super low-class, even among the Rukongai crowd (only Zaraki and Yachiru are lower, and I have never once read a fanfic of Kenpachi and Renji bonding over this, and I’m mad about it), and so when I have them calling each other trashbags and lowlifes, it’s a case of “I can make fun of you because we come from the same mudpit, but I will cut anyone else who says this about you.”

Allowing characters to present in a way that they choose. We sometimes invent roles for ourselves that we want others to see. I do this a lot with Renji-- when he comes to the big city, he’s a big, rough, scary dude. I am 100% sure he broke peoples’ limbs in Inuzuri. But he wants to be liked and he wants to be approachable, especially now that he’s a vice-captain, so he puts on kind of a big dumb oaf routine, and all his friends support him in this by making jokes about skipping leg day and calling him a dope and a goob. These are not hurtful insults, because this is how he chooses to present himself.

Leveling group dynamics. Related to the previous item, a lot of times, friend groups require people to fulfill different roles in order to keep everything running smoothly. Take for example, the Renji - Momo - Izuru - Shuuhei friendship. They come from a lot of different backgrounds, they’ve each had a lot of different personal challenges, and the friendship has lasted a loooooong time. Izuru has a lot more money and class than the rest of them. Shuuhei is the oldest. I bet Momo got extremely full of herself when she became Aizen’s vice-captain. Renji lagged the rest of them in becoming vice-captain, but then, he came out of the Aizen debacle in better shape than everyone else. We can’t all confront all these complex interpersonal dynamics all the time, sometimes you just wanna hang out at the bar and drag each other a little, and it’s comfortable and relaxing to just fall back on personas. Everyone teases Renji for being dumb and strong, Shuuhei for being hot and dramatic, Izuru for being pasty and poetic, Momo for being organized and congenitally unable to break a rule. A great place to insert drama is when you have a character who has outgrown these dynamics, who is sick of playing a role within a friend group-- old jokes that used to gloss over uncomfortable matters are suddenly causing the discomfort.

Play. A lot of teasing is honestly just for fun. Scoring points on your friends. In this case, the teasing can be as harsh or soft as you like, although the harsher you go, the more you risk actually hurting someone’s feelings (again, story hook!) I love this as an example:

Ichigo tries to tease Orihime over old bread of all things. Orihime is fireproof, she knows Ichigo loves her old bread and also is incapable of delivering a sick burn, but then Ishida and Chad just pile on, suck it, Ichigo, we all know who runs this group of nakama.

As a writer, this is your chance to show off your humor chops! The purposes of these scenes is not just to show your friendships, but to have fun and be funny! Having characters just call each other names is not really funny. In this example, Ichigo is trying to be cool, and his crew, none of whom are remotely cool, all hit the OBJECTION button hard at the same time and it’s hilarious.

Giving friendships age. People you have been friends with for ages know things about you. Have characters bring up embarrassing stories. Tease each other about the way they used to be, but no longer are. This is also a powerful way to distinguish between an old friendship that is still going strong, and one that has gone stale, but persists, perhaps for nostalgia reasons, where the teasing rankles. Maybe your story wants to resurrect this friendship, or maybe you want to show a character moving on. This is also a way to add exposition: Say Character A, who is usually very casual, dresses up for a fancy event. You can have Character B rib them about how they have never seen them looking so good. Then you can have Character A react in a number of ways: self-conscious or defensive, perhaps, or they could be flirty and brag about how nice they clean up, it’s up to you!

Giving friendships depth. Best friends can say things that other friends and casual acquaintances can’t, in part because they have a keen understanding of how to hurt each other (and how not to). A key in portraying different levels of friendships is boundaries, and a great dramatic tool is bumping up against those boundaries. In general, I have Renji let Rukia tease him about nearly everything, but occasionally, she’ll bring up what a glory-hound he was in their school days, and he freezes up every time. She can’t really figure this out, because he’s usually game for letting her pick on his dumbass teen boy behavior and she can’t figure out how this is any different. The thing is, he’s never told her that the reason he was busting his ass was to impress her and to be able to get a good job and provide for her, and it blew up in his face, and he can’t very well admit that now, without having to admit a lot of other stuff, too. ::holds fist in the air:: This is the good stuff.

A corollary, tired jokes. Rukia is 4’9” tall and she must be sick to death of hearing about it. It’s so obvious and so lame. It sucks being short, it’s a huge inconvenience on a daily basis, especially when your job involves trying to be tough and intimidating. It’s not like she chose this for herself. This is the lowest possible hanging fruit of teasing. But that doesn’t mean we need to ignore it completely. I have characters like Ikkaku, who doesn’t know her all that well, and is also an ass, throw it at her a lot, and mostly she either sighs and rolls her eyes, or she insults him back. Now, if Renji never mentioned it, it would feel like he was tiptoeing around it, which Rukia would be offended by. She’s not humorless, just tired. So, instead, I will only have him make short jokes if a) they are actually funny, or b) it’s a situation where the joke is really obvious and they’ll usually follow up with something like “I had to.” The idea is that, as best friend and chief trash talker, he’s contractually obligated to make the joke, but he finds it almost as tired as she does. Also, I turn it around a lot by having her make fun of him for being tall, as though being 6’2” is some sort of embarrassment and that he did it on purpose, and he just takes it.

This is real. My husband and I were in a very similar professional field, and he makes more than me, even though I have more education and work harder, and he lets me make fun of what a useless white dude he is, but if he sees it coming, he will definitely make a “you can’t do math because you’re a woman” joke, which he obviously doesn’t think is true. Only he is allowed to do this. It is very cathartic. We also make jokes about how he will never truly be successful because he is short.

I don’t write Ichigo as much, but I approach this a little differently with him, a) because he hasn’t been friends with Rukia for as long, or on such a day-to-day basis that he knows how much this irritates her, and b) he’s a teen. Instead, I try to have him actually put some effort into his jokes, like calling her Shorty McCaptainface. “Shortstack” and fun-sized/travel-sized/adventure-sized (for your convenience) are much more gentler and playful.

Please, please, I beg you, do not use “midget.” It’s not a nice word and it’s so, so tired.

All of this goes generally for other types of characters with the kind of physical characteristics that tactless people feel free to comment (being fat, wearing glasses, having prominent teeth, etc), or experience structural discrimination. Just think about how you would like your best friend to handle it.

Arright, it’s time to hit the elephant in the room: Teasing that leads into romance. This was such a huge trope when I was a kid, I grew up steeped in this idea of “a boy teases you because he likes you,” and I’m honestly glad we’re starting to move past this as a culture. You can still have a fun and teasing relationship without being mean, which I will get to, but let’s start with the OG couple of teasing because they like each other: Ranma and Akane. Now, as it happens, I have been re-watching Ranma ½ with my husband, who had never seen it, and on one hand, this show is a pioneer, it is amazing in terms of comedic beats, but on the other hand, it’s aged quite a bit and smacks of “I hate my wife” Boomer humor with a heavy helping of “no homo!” slathered on top. So, here’s how it works:

Ranma and Akane have been forced into an engagement by their fathers. Despite the fact that they have pretty similar and compatible personalities, they get off on the wrong foot, compounded by the fact that they are each deeply insecure about their gender presentations. They are each also profoundly stubborn. So, what happens, every single episode, is that one or the other will do something kind or heroic for the other, and the other’s heart will go “oh SHIT I like them but to reveal so would be to present vulnerability” so they insult each other instead. The insults that Ranma and Akane fling at each other are deeply hurtful and they are super-effective. Now, the one who has taken the risk of going out on a limb for the other has now been lambasted for their efforts, and responds with more insults. This is the fundamental tension of the show: they like each other and are terrified to admit it, so they force the other apart.

Now, as the show progresses, my memory is (and forgive me if I get this wrong, we’re still pretty close to the beginning, and as far as the long game goes, I am sure my memory is contaminated by too much fanfic), far, far down the road, when they eventually come to understand each other better, when Ranma tells Akane she’s an uncute, tomboy, she’s able to parse that as “I like you so much and I want to say so, but seriously, you know how ridiculous my upbringing was,” and when she responds with “You pervert!”, Ranma knows she is really saying “I know that, and also, you do not need to feel self-conscious about your girl form, I’m kinda into that.”

This is essentially a slow burn tactic. You need a tremendous amount of time to build out this kind of relationship. A lot of people try to skip straight from “characters insult each other!” to “characters are in love, they just couldn’t admit it!” and it does not work, especially if you reader is a person who has ever been in a shitty relationship. I would not want to be with someone who called me hurtful names. The fact that they were trying to cover up the fact that they did it because they liked me is not romantic. It says to me, “this person does not treat the people they love well.” Writers, we can do better.

Teasing creates tension, as I said, and it is often that case that we use it to trade a feeling we can’t handle for one that we can. For Ranma and Akane, they are trading attraction for combativeness. They can’t admit they like each other because they are deeply stubborn and also because they are very, very immature.

Conversely, characters may tease to deflect their feelings because of outside forces that they have no control of.

Rukia is fundamentally uncomfortable expressing her feelings. She had no parents. She has no experience with unconditional love, which is pretty essential for healthy childhood development. I’ve talked before about my Rukongai headcanon that it was taboo to openly express affection, because it is a brutal and dangerous town and to love is to show weakness. In this case, teasing can play a fundamental role. As children, if she started to express something that strays too close to an earnest emotion or attachment, Renji might respond with “Aaah, shut up, you sap.”

This is not mean-spirited. Renji is acknowledging that he hears her, he recognizes her feeling and prevents her from breaking the taboo. The teasing helps Rukia to save face. This creates a blind spot in their friendship, however. They know each other extremely well, they have a thorough read on each other’s moods and motivations and body language, but because they’ve never, ever been able to talk frankly about their emotions, they are both stuck in this place where they can’t tell if they like each other romantically and they don’t know how to bridge that gap. They don’t need to be mean to each other, but they are unable to progress because they keep blowing off the difficult conversations they ought to be having.

Keep in mind, I am keeping the teasing at low to medium stakes. It’s also difficult, because they’ve been apart for so long, that there are some topics that aren’t safe anymore, and sometimes they don’t realize that until after they’ve accidentally hurt each other’s feelings, again, an opportunity for some mild plot drama that’s based on misunderstanding, rather than these people are assholes.

Rukia’s relationship with Ichigo is very similar. Ichigo is also terrible at expressing feelings, partly because of his mom’s death, his dad is his dad, and he is a teen. I have read a lot of arguments that he’s neurodiverse, and frankly, I’m for that, too. I tend to characterize their friendship as very intense. They haven’t known each other very long, but they just have a lot of feelings, OKAY?! They have saved each other’s lives in very dramatic ways, they feel that they owe the other in ways they can never repay, and they just friggin’ like the heck out of each other, but their lives are also fundamentally incompatible, starting with the fact that Rukia is dead and Ichigo is alive.

So, when I am writing them bantering, one of my go-tos is to have them make fun of each other’s chosen planes of existence. “Why do you keep juice in boxes?” Rukia demands, as if it’s somehow Ichigo’s fault. “You can’t even ride a bike, you idiot,” Ichigo might rib her, as if she even knows what a bike is. What they are really doing here, is pushing against the fact that they have chosen to live separate existences and they’re honestly a little upset about that. “It’s dumb that we can’t hang out all the time,” is what they are saying. “I understand your decision, but I’m still gonna make fun of you.” This is incredibly low-stakes dragging, and also it’s a good place to be funny. I’m sure you have had someone make fun of your school or your job or your town in a way that you feel the need to defend it, and then you’re like “why am I defending this, it really is dumb, actually?”

One last thing, which is to think a lot about the word choices you use in your teasing, and try to organize them by intensity. My go-tos are “dummy” and “dumbass” because they get the point across, but they aren’t particularly mean and they are very generic. I also like slightly silly ones like “dunderhead” or “lunk” or “goob” or “doofus.” Paired insults are fun-- have one character greet another as “What’s up, nerd?” and have the first respond with “How’s it hanging, jock?” “Stupid” is slightly meaner, but I will often use it if one character is being self-deprecating, I will have the other respond “don’t be stupid,” or something like that, where it’s reassurance disguised as trash-talk. You can temper harder insults with tone: e.g., “You moron,” Rukia said affectionately.

Some people call their friends “bitch” humorously, and that’s a kind of friendship you can certainly choose to portray, but think hard about if that fits your characters and your writing style first. I try to avoid gendered insults; sometimes I’ll have villians use them, but even so, do we need to? Maybe not. Don’t use hurtful words unless your teaser actually intends to hurt (whether or not it’s effective).

And remember, you don’t even need to use insults to tease (or to hurt, for that matter)! Think about how your character would react to be called “fancy.” Or “cute.” Or “rustic.” Tease them about the apron they wear for cooking, or the fact that they don’t know how to use a cell phone, or their terribly out-of-style footwear. Also, it can be just as fun to have your character respond to teasing by leaning into it, or laughing back, or riffing, they don’t have to just get pissed off.

This post is so long. I am so sorry. Go write some teasing. Have fun. I can’t wait to read it.

#long post is long #god i hope the cut works correctly on this post #asks #on writing #thank you for this ask #i love pretending like i know anything about writing #i am just a kind housewife #i came in 2nd place in a one-act playwriting contest once

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theliterateape · 3 years

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Mooning the Crowd and Waving Your Balls was Funny—Until It Wasn't

by Don Hall

The dressing room was oddly configured and presented the opportunity to swing open the door to the toilet in such a way that he who sat, pants around ankles, was hopelessly exposed to the rest of the cast. While, you know, taking a shit.

Brian was a wonderful actor. He was also a very serious person, more self-serious than anything else. He was so serious that taking the piss out of him in vulnerable moments was just fun. And funny.

For a few nights in a row, he had his ritual; for the same few nights, I had mine. He'd get in costume and makeup and suddenly need to have a pre-show shit. I'd wait. He'd close the bathroom door. I'd give it beat. Then I'd swing the door open and he'd squeal like a child, then yell at me "GOD DAMMIT, DON! What the fuck, dude! I'm taking a crap!" And I would laugh until my ribs ached.

It was stupid. As most truly funny things are, it was at the expense of someone very serious. It was also fundamentally harmless.

When I was a kid, there were few things funnier than Monty Python's Flying Circus and I'd watch it on PBS (long before cable or streaming or even VHS) and laugh hysterically at Terry Jones sitting naked at an organ with his back to the camera. "The Naked Organist" was the character and it solidified one of two rules of comedy that seemed inviolable: few things are funnier than a nude man's ass when combined with a fool's grin and the non-sequitur location.

The first rule involved underscoring anything—no matter how mundane—with the music of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. Always silly. Always funny.

Jones contributed to my go-to disruption of the status quo comic leanings and resulted in a nearly non-stop barrage of moonings and random public nudity that always cracked me up as those very serious people at the 'butt' of the joke gasped and wrung their hands. Fundamentally harmless, defying convention, funny as hell. Nothing sexual about it. Simply buffoonery.

Years into my days of theater, I still found it hysterical to ask "Is this your gum?" while stretching a section of my nut-sack through my zipper or 'hanging a brain' or my favorite sort of Stupid Human Trick: The Clapper. The Clapper was simple. Turn off the lights. I would go to the far side of the stage, drop my pants, and swing my balls back and forth, hitting my stomach and ass and making a loud smacking sound. As I write that, I'm astounded how stupid it must sound, but it was funny at the time.

It was funny because it was subversive and weird. It was funny because in a society so buttoned up and self serious that nudity is considered somehow forbidden but is, at the same time, the baseline of our existence, absent of costume and exposing our most vulnerable selves, the act of someone naked playing an organ in a field is a flat-out hoot. It was funny because you aren't supposed to do that.

A few years ago a woman who stage managed some of our shows pointed out on Faceborg that The Clapper made her uncomfortable at the time and that it wasn't funny to her. I publicly apologized—not for doing it because I still thought it was funny—but for making her uncomfortable. Given that her discomfort was the point but not to traumatize her by any means, I felt bad that my stupid joke stuck with her as a negative.

I feel a certain simpatico with actor John Barrowman these days.

Recently, Barrowman was embroiled in the allegations surrounding Clarke’s history of sexual harassment accusations when a clip of both actors at a fan convention in 2014—appearing alongside actresses Camille Couduri and Tracy Ann Olbermann—went viral, which discussed Barrowman’s alleged frequent exposure of his genitals on the set of the show, framed as pranks. Following a report by the Guardian about allegations against Clarke specific to his time on Doctor Who, Barrowman released a brief statement to the paper about his own incidents, for which the actor was eventually reprimanded on-set for in 2008.

The article reads: “Barrowman said his ‘high-spirited behaviour’ was ‘only ever intended in good humour to entertain colleagues on set and backstage,’ ‘With the benefit of hindsight, I understand that upset may have been caused by my exuberant behaviour and I have apologised for this previously,’ he added. ‘Since my apology in November 2008, my understanding and behaviour have also changed.’”

SOURCE

I'd argue that if you can't see the difference between someone sexually harassing another and someone flashing his ass and balls for a joke, the issue lies with you not the jokester.

Have you seen a dick? They're hysterical! Like a flabby mushroom connected to a flesh bag. Or a skinny turtle out of his shell. A turkey neck without feathers. Who designed this, an idiot? The vagina is far more practical.

The difference between the days of comic stupidity and today is that in 2021 we are subject to the news of the horrors of the world every second. We doomscroll non-stop and bathe ourselves in the pain and suffering of every victim—real and imagined, genuine harm and outrage profiteering—that the act of finding fucking anything subversive and funny is unimaginable.

Like Barrowman, I stopped exposing myself as a joke decades ago. It just stopped being funny, I suppose. Maybe I grew up some which might be a shame. I still laugh at the sight of Jason Segel getting dumped in Forgetting Sarah Marshall while completely nude and Will Ferrell streaking in Old School. And Ferrell running around in his tidy whiteys in Talladaga Nights. And in Semi-Pro with a basketball covering his package.

I remember thinking the shock of the prudes was hysterical back in the days when the uptight came from the mostly conservative crowd. I'm finding that while the scolds have switched up agendas, that desire to take the piss out of those hellbent on controlling everyone else for the sake of wholesomeness or self righteous definitions imposed by puritanical rule is still healthy in me.

I can't speak for anyone else but in the face of so much horror in the world I'd much rather laugh than cry. So get naked. Especially in the presence of those so offended that their faces screw up and they openly shame you for doing so.

Get naked. I could use a good chuckle.

#subversive comedy #John Barrowman #naked is funny

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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I’m a broken record, but I just can’t help myself: if RWBY didn't try to be complex this nearly perfect friendship wouldn’t be a problem. Plenty of shows that have a group of heroes working together sometimes have them barely, if ever, actually fight and argue with one another. Unfortunately, in the real world even the closest relationship will have arguments, just another thing that’s ruined by RWBY’s unnecessary “the real isn't a fairytale" theme.

Exactly! Hence the Sailor Moon reference - from what I remember from my childhood, anyway. If you have a morally simple story (here’s our Purely Evil threat combated by our Perfect Good heroes) then yes, there’s nothing wrong with providing a cast whose interactions are equally straightforward. Most internal conflicts, if they show up at all, are resolved in a single episode. Maybe two or three if it’s a special case. Oh, so-and-so are fighting? Give it 20 minutes and they’ll work it out. It’s not just fighting shows that do this either. As an episodic show, Star Trek: The Original Series is one of my favorite examples of a story functioning under the unspoken rule of “By the end of the episode everyone needs to be back exactly as they were in preparation for the next.” You reset with the bridge. It doesn’t matter how many would-be gods the Enterprise runs into, or how many times they disobey an Admiral’s orders, or whether two characters had a particularly emotional arc like surviving Pon Farr, come next week everyone is acting/functioning as if this stuff never happened (with a few very minor continuity references and ignoring the films). Bones is forever grumpy, Spock forever logical, Kirk forever charismatic - and the idea of them having a multi-episode falling out just doesn’t fit.

Notably though, ST:TOS is not simple. At all. It’s poised somewhere between a morally simple show that doesn’t engage in character growth (Sailor Moon) and a morally complex show that does (Star Trek: Deep Space Nice). TOS, in a genius move, uses its static characters as a baseline for grappling with heavy external conflicts, bringing some of that internal conflict into the mix. Meaning, the characters might not grow, but they were designed to create friction. Spock’s logic is always bumping up against Kirk’s emotion. Kirk’s recklessness is always bumping up against McCoy’s need to keep everyone safe. McCoy’s oath to help others is always bumping up against the Prime Directive. Not to mention the larger conflicts like Alien vs. Human. TOS gives us complex political questions each episode and then slammed that together with a cast that is designed to disagree. Which isn’t me saying that the trio is always fighting or anything (they’re not), just that the were crafted as individuals with radically different backgrounds. Even when they agree on the end goal - we need to help people - how they go about that is debatable. We get conflicts like:

Hey, Bones. Your excellent desire to save a woman from being hit by a car has nevertheless created an entirely new timeline. That’s a biiiig problem.

Hey, Kirk and Spock. In order to undo this damage you have to survive in the past, which means stealing stuff you need to blend in, survive, and lying to everyone around you about who you really are. These are “bad” things that have become necessary under the circumstances.

Hey, Kirk. You’ve falling in love with the woman who cannot live in order to restore your timeline. You’re going to grapple with your personal desires vs. your duty as a Captain and your duty to the rest of the world.

And that’s just one episode! None of which carries over into the next episode. Kirk doesn’t spend the finale grieving for Edith’s loss because that story is over and done, but that lack of continuity doesn’t mean it wasn’t compelling. Engaging in that reset/keeping characters relatively static isn’t a bad thing - it can, in fact, be very freeing if you want to tell a simple Good vs. Evil tale or make space to explore morally gray situations - and we could have gotten either option in the RWBY post-Volume 3 era. RT hasn’t managed it though. When was the last time the group actually disagreed? Had a different perspective? Grappled with what they wanted vs. what was needed and actually chose the greater good? RT introduced complex situations and complex characterizations that necessitated growth... and have, by and large, failed to deliver on either.

#color2wheel #rwby #rwde #mymetas

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prophetandprincess · 4 years

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Oh look! An Update that didn’t take me years to write! Please enjoy

Monica's father informed Alex on Sunday morning that contractors would be coming by the apartment on Monday to assess the damage and see how long it would take to make the place habitable again. Detective Donohoe had stated it was no longer a crime scene later that night and also shared that Alex's laptop and notebook was nowhere to be found in the wreckage. All those sleepless nights of research, gone. Luckily, she was in the habit of backing up her school work online or she would have probably just given up and flown home. As it was, she found her school books, not too badly battered, in various corners of the apartment and dragged them down to Monica's.

Alex was hoping that the repairs wouldn't take too long as she got back from her run Monday morning. While Monica had been more than accommodating, she was a completely functional adult while Alex was floundering to pretend to keep it together. Monica was also used to living alone and while she didn't say anything, Alex knew that she was messing with Monica's daily routines. She was seriously considering taking Steve up on his offer to stay in the Tower just to give Monica her life back. Alex's cell phone going off startled her as she pushed open the front door to the apartment building, the sun barely risen.

"Good morning, Miss Harper," Maria Hill said pleasantly, as if she had been up for hours. "Glad to see that I didn't wake you. Steve told me that you went jogging in the morning, but I was still worried."

"You're in the office early," Alex said, not sure what else to say to the head of security at Stark Tower who had obviously been talking to Steve about her. "Is there a problem?"

"Not exactly a problem, but after a conversation between Steve and Mr. Stark, they seemed to believe that having someone drive you around town might be in your best interest. Before you start to protest," Hill said quickly when she heard Alex inhale, "trust me, there is no way for you to get out of this. I tried. Mrs. Narzari will be waiting to take you to the college for your eight o'clock class. Don't give her too much trouble."

Alex let out the breath she had taken and closed her eyes. "How did Steve rope Mr. Stark into his crusade to save me from my own bad decisions?"

"I don't know how that conversation went down, to be honest with you. They are out on a mission and I got the order late last night. You're going to have to take that up with Steve whenever he gets back," Hill said with a smile in her voice. "Have a nice day, Miss Harper. I'm sure I'll see you around the Tower."

There was nothing Alex could say so she just hung up and went up to Monica's place to take a shower. Once she was done, Alex left the apartment so that she wasn't in the way while Monica got ready for the day. There was time for her to stop at her favorite coffee shop, even though she should be saving money to redecorate her apartment, before the driver showed up to take her to Professor Warren's class. Maybe she wouldn't have trouble staying awake for once.

While Alex's biochemistry materials had been with her when the apartment had been torn to shreds, she wondered if the Professor would have shown her any leniency if it had been shredded in the carnage. The chances that Warren would have taken the destruction of her apartment as an acceptable excuse for late assignments was slim, but he did seem to be showing her a bit of compassion with the extra credit assignment. Alex remembered that she had to meet with Warren today and suppressed a groan. It was going to be an annoyingly long day.

When Alex got back to the building, there was a sleek black SUV at the curb of her apartment building. A woman in a smart black pantsuit exited the vehicle as Alex approached, reaching up to make sure her hijab was in place after a strong gust of September wind blew past. Alex was expecting someone like the driver that Professor Warren had provided, though maybe a little less rough around the edges, even though Miss Hill had told her it was going to be a woman.

"Miss Harper?" The woman's voice was richly accented. "I'm Mrs. Narzari. Miss Hill has assigned me to be your driver. I've been told that you have an eight o'clock class? We should get going."

"I...sure, sounds good." Alex stammered as Mrs. Narzari opened the door for her to get into the back seat. "Thank you."

Alex wasn't sure what to say as the SUV slid into traffic, so she sat back and sipped her coffee while listening to what she thought might be a news station in a language that she didn't understand. There was a beautiful rhythm to whatever language it was and it thankfully filled the silence. Alex was extremely uncomfortable with being chauffeured around by her employer because Steve asked him too, once again her connection to him giving her special treatment. Also, at this point it would be easier for Alex and Steve to just lie and say they were dating than try and dismantle the rumors. Alex really needed to talk to Steve about this whole making decisions without speaking with her streak he was on. The moment she had some energy she was going to be very upset.

Mrs. Narzari told Alex that she would pick her up in the same place later in the day when the SUV stopped in front of the science building. Alex thanked her before she headed up to face another morning with Professor Warren. It was probably the first time that she was early for his class and she got more than a couple weird looks from her classmates. She hoped they didn't think that she had her life together now. They would be extremely disappointed.

Peter came in moments before Professor Warren, looking a little surprised to see Alex settled at their lab table as he took his place on the lab stool next to her. He waited until Warren turned his back to them during lecture before he pushed his notebook across the lab table toward her.

Are you doing alright? I'm sorry I didn't text yesterday, but it was spent mostly sleeping and catching up on all my other course work. How's the apartment?

Alex waited to make sure the Professor wasn't looking as she scribbling back. I'm good and no worries. Any new leads on the thing that tore my place up?

No. I literally didn't leave my house. Both of your Detective friends stopped by to ask me questions. Thank God Aunt May was at the hospital or I would have to explain everything to her. I think they've ruled me out as a suspect. Did you get dedicated time at the lab?

Well that's good and no, not yet. I promise I will do that soon. I lost my laptop in the destruction so it will take me some time to get my life in order.

Peter snorted when he read that and scribbled back, You had it in order before?

Fuck off, Parker.

Peter hid a laugh by coughing, but then Professor Warren focused on them again and they had to actually pay attention in class. It was a good thing they did, as Warren gave a surprise quiz during the last five minutes of class. Alex was pretty sure she didn't fail it, but was happier than ever that she was getting the extra credit.

"Hey, where are you going?" Peter asked as Alex started down the hallway once they had been dismissed from the lab section.

"I have to see Professor Warren," Alex was about to elaborate, but then realized that her classmates probably wouldn't be too pleased to learn that she was doing extra credit work they hadn't been offered. "Office hours. If you learn anything about our friend, let me know, yeah?"

"I will. You remember to get us that dedicated computer time." Peter shot back with a smile before heading with the rest of the students out of the building.

Professor Warren's office was somehow in even more disarray this week, with the paper stacks having to morph more into paper piles, but his desk was still painfully neat. Professor Warren didn't look toward the door when she approached, typing furiously on his computer. Alex knocked on the half open door, wanting him to invite her in to not incite his mercurial temper.

"Alexandra, come in." Professor Warren almost smiled at the sight of her and waved her through the door. It was unsettling.

"You can call me Alex, Professor. No one calls me Alexandra unless they're upset with me." Alex wasn't sure what to make of this almost excited man in front of her, it was very different that the Professor Warren she had come to know.

"Oh, well then please call me Miles. We are working together after all. Sit, sit, we have a lot to cover in a short amount of time." Professor Warren spun around in his chair and started to look for something in the mess.

Alex very slowly entered the room and sat down in the leather chair, not setting her bag down in case she needed to leave in a hurry. There was almost this manic energy about Warren that hadn't been present in class earlier that day. He was even muttering to himself as he located whatever he was looking for and placed it on the desk between them.

"The samples that you collected from Mr. Osbourn were subpar, but not terrible for a first attempt," Warren stated as he flipped open the folder and looked over the paper inside. "Still, they were close enough to the baseline that I had gotten previously to be a viable data point. I'm sure you'll have a steadier hand to get a clean skin sample with a little more instruction and less nerves."

"About the samples, Professor Warren, what exactly is the nature of the paper you need this information for? You said it was something about genetic mutation, but what specifically?" Alex asked as Warren started muttering again, grabbing a pen to scribble something on a scrap of paper.

"The world is changing, Alex, and it has been for a long time. It all started with the serum that created the famous, or infamous, Captain America. While no one has matched the brilliance of Dr. Erskine, it doesn't mean that other people haven't tried and continue to study genetic mutation for the betterment of mankind." Alex felt her blood run cold at the statement, mind flashing to James and everything that had been done to him. "Just think, cures for cancer and other illnesses without the painful and barbaric procedures we use today. Hell, we might even be able to clone organs so that there are spares for those in need. We could do so much good."

"And Mr. Osbourn's samples are helping with that grand plan because…he survived a genetic mutation that cured his illness?" Alex wasn't exactly sure that was correct, but it was better than all the very unpleasant alternatives that ran through her head. Was it all that different than she was doing at Stark Tower? Yet it sounded so...sinister when Warren said it.

"Exactly! While there were some...unfortunate side effects of Mr. Osbourn using the serum too quickly, his degenerative disease has, for the moment, stopped it's progression. The skin and blood samples are monitoring the progression of the disease while the mental questionnaire monitors the...side effects." Warren looked over the papers in the folder again. "Like I said before, you will get better samples this week and Mr. Osbourn has stated that he will continue to cooperate. He seemed to enjoy talking with you."

Alex wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, but didn't say anything as Professor Warren went through the collection procedure again, using his one arm to showcase taking the skin samples. He was far more chatty than Alex had ever seen him, even making a couple of jokes as he explained how his paper was the beginning research into how this particular mutation may help in the development of medicine for other degenerative diseases. The more he talked, the more interested Alex became until she had to practically run to the SUV for Mrs. Narzari to deliver her to the Tower in time for the start of the internship

"Miss Harper," Liam, her group's instructor, called as she entered the lab. "Looks like the gang's all here and we can get to work a bit early so we can get ahead of the other groups."

"Yes, well…" Alex felt herself blushing. "I may be a bit behind on my computer modules."

Liam raised an eyebrow at that, but then waved his hand to dismiss the information. "We're going to be doing a brainstorming session and the rest of the team can do the heavy lifting on the computer. Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner seem to have a lot of faith in your skills, so let's see what we can do."

"No pressure," Alex said without a hint of sarcasm as she dropped her bag and joined the group of her peers.

Things were a little tense at first, with Zaria and Kyle being a little more weary of Alex than Zachary and Isabella. However, as the day progressed they all fell into a good rhythm of working with one another. Alex even started to have a bit of fun collaborating and, at times, arguing with the other interns. The hours flew by and Alex was a little disappointed when it was time to pack up for the day. Especially because she hadn't gotten any word about her place and when she'd be able to move back in.

"So, about the modules," Liam said when everyone had returned to their stations to pack up for the day.

"I know, I know. I promise I'm not an idiot," Alex felt her cheeks burning again. "For some reason my head just can't wrap around it. I've always had problems with computers but there is something about this program that is just not clicking."

"Why didn't you ask for help?" Liam leaned against the desk with a smile. "Let me guess, you're not good at asking for help either?"

"Am I that much of an open book?" Alex sighed as she dropped down in the chair and tugged at the ends of her hair. "I promise I'll be caught up by the end of the week. I'll stay a bit later to not interfere with our brainstorming sessions."

"Or," Liam gave an almost impish smile, "I could stay and help you get all caught up tonight."

"I can't ask you to do that." Alex wanted to crawl under her desk and hide or the ground to open up and swallow her. "You're a PhD student who I am sure doesn't get enough sleep as it is between working here and doing your course work. Go home and relax."

"Alex, my job is to make sure that you leave this internship with more knowledge than when you started. If that means holding your hand through these computer modules, then so be it. Besides, I can probably talk the Doc into giving me overtime." Liam winked. "Flights back to Ireland aren't cheap."

"Alright, fine, but only because if I have to go through another day of the rest of the interns looking at me like I'm their little sister I will lose my mind." Alex waved for him to pull up a chair. "No hand holding is required."

"Oh, thank god," Liam laughed before grabbing a nearby chair and rolled over to the work station. "No offense, Alex, but you're not my type."

Alex gave him a smile before settling in to be humbled, making sure to send a text to Hill so that Mrs. Nazari wasn't sitting in the SUV somewhere waiting for her. Surprisingly, with Liam explaining things, Alex started to pick up on some of the programs, though she was still painfully slow at them. It was dark out when they only had a couple modules left, but Liam's stomach was growling so loud Alex could hear it.

"Okay, I think that's enough for the night. Besides, Jarvis is probably about to rat us out to someone if we stay here any longer." Alex wasn't being completely altruistic, she had a massive headache, but she wasn't about to complain when she had taken up so much of Liam's time. He also didn't seem the type to coddle someone.

"Oh, Jarvis would never do such a thing, would you Jarvis?" Liam said tilting his head up to direct the question to the A.I.

"I have reported that you are still in the lab to Miss Hill, as she is the head of security," Jarvis came back almost immediately, which made Alex laugh.

"Cheeky bastard," Liam muttered as he got up and stretched. "Do you need an escort home? It's dark out there and crazy things have been happening on the streets."

"No, thank you. Seriously, Liam," Alex said as she also got to her feet. "Thank you. You've probably just saved me days of worry and headache.

"It's kind of my job," Liam laughed as he slung his bag over his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you Wednesday?"

"Yeah," Alex smiled as she started to pack up her things. "See you then."

Once the lab was empty, Alex realized that she hadn't told Monica she was staying late at the lab. She quickly pulled out her phone and started typing up a text, but then she paused. The thought of going back and not sleeping on the couch didn't seem overly appealing. Not when there was an empty apartment somewhere in this very Tower, probably with an amazing shower, that she had been told to use. It was a very tempting thought.

"Jarvis, if I wanted to go to Mr. Roger's apartment, how would I get there?" Alex asked as she headed for the elevators. Even if she decided not to stay there, she was too curious about what Steve's apartment would look like now to not take a peak.

"It is on one of the restricted levels," Jarvis stated as the elevator doors wooshed up for Alex. "However, I've been told that you're allowed into his suite. Would you like me to take you to that floor?"

Alex paused, the phrasing on Jarvis's question making her feel a little weird about invading Steve's space. However, he had offered the apartment, so he probably wouldn't see it as a violation of his privacy if she stopped in. As long as she didn't, like, look under his bed or go through his drawers, it wouldn't be weird, right?

"Yes please," Alex blurted out before she lost her nerve.

Alex was pretty sure the elevator went up, she was too busy mentally berating herself to notice, and the elevator doors opened again. There was just darkness, aside from weak ambient light coming in through the wall of glass windows. As Alex took a cautious step off the elevator, the lights came on to show a sleek and modern apartment. It didn't look at all like somewhere Steve would live. In fact, it didn't look like somewhere anyone lived.

After dropping her bag and toeing off her shoes, the place was too clean to walk around with shoes on, she took in her surroundings. Once she had walked into the living area, she started to see the touches that Steve lived there, a picture of the Howling Commandos and another of Natasha and Sam. Still, there was nothing out of place and the kitchen literally sparkled when she looked over the counter that separated the space.

The bedroom was a little more interesting, even though it was also painfully clean. There had to be someone who cleaned the apartment because there is no way anyone kept their bedroom this clean, even Steve Rogers. Still, there was a framed picture of Peggy Carter on the bedside table along with one of him and James. It was pre-serum Steve, small and tiny, and James looked so terribly young and innocent.

Alex picked up that frame and sat down on the bed, looking at the black and white photo that had yellowed with age. There was something about the picture that pulled Alex's heartstrings. Their smiles, the obvious love between them, and how different they looked while still being unmistakably Steve and James. An odd thought caught her, if her mother felt the same way looking at pictures of Alex and Jake, which snapped her right out of the melancholy.

Hey, I hope that offer to stay at your place still stands because I'm currently in your apartment. Alex texted Steve as she looked into the perfectly spotless bathroom and saw there were fresh towels. Any clothes I can steal to sleep in? It was a bit of a last minute decision and I don't want to go through your drawers.

The reply was almost immediate, which relieved Alex of an anxiety about his safety she didn't realize she had. I had Hill pick up a few things for you when I had the deluded notion that I could convince you to stay there for your own safety, don't ask which time. Check the bottom shelf, closest to the door, in the closet. There should be some things there. Any certain reason you've finally come around to staying at the Tower?

I'm not staying, I'm crashing here tonight. There is a difference. Alex typed back, though she felt herself smiling. Are you keeping safe wherever you are?

We aren't talking about me. Steve texted back quickly. I'm with the others, I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you.

Aren't you always? Alex shook her head as she padded into the closet, a very nice walk in, and found the shelf Steve had mentioned. Take care of yourself so you can lecture me in person whenever you're back in the city.

You've got a deal. Got to go. Steve replied.

The clothes that Hill had picked out were very basic, a black silk pajama set, a pack of underwear, a couple bras, socks, jeans, sweatpants, a couple of T-shirts, and a few sweaters. Along with the clothes was a pair of sneakers and a cosmetic bag filled with makeup. Everything was simple but obviously of nice quality. Maria Hill really did think of everything. Alex picked out what she needed and went into the bathroom. As predicted, the shower pressure was amazing.

There were five missed calls and a voicemail on Alex's phone when she finally got out, smelling like Steve's body wash and shampoo. All were from Monica. Alex mentally kicked herself as she called her friend, realizing that she never told her that she was staying late at the lab or staying at Steve's. Given Alex's history, it made complete sense for Monica to be losing her mind that Alex hadn't checked in.

"I'm so so sorry I didn't check in," Alex said as soon as the call connected. "I got wrapped up at the lab and then decided to crash with a friend to give you some peace and quiet. None of that excuses me from being awful and not telling you."

"I'm not sure what has me more upset," Monica said once Alex was done rambling. "The fact that you've had me worried for hours or that you apparently have friends that I haven't met. Ones that apparently you are comfortable staying with."

"It's Sam, you've met him, briefly." Alex already felt sick with guilt for making Monica worry, might as well pile on the guilt of lying as well. "I was working late at the lab on things and when I saw it was dark, I called Sam and he just told me to crash at his place."

"At least you're smart enough not to walk alone at night now," Monica sighed and Alex could visualize her tugging on her curls. "Are you going to come back tomorrow or are you leaving me for a very attractive, older man?"

"Depends on how much he annoys me. I promise to let you know what I'm doing after class tomorrow. Scouts honor." Alex had to get Monica flowers or just give her a lot of money to make up for all the nonsense she put them through.

"I won't hold my breath, I might pass out," Monica laughed before hanging up.

Alex flopped down on Steve's couch, hairbrush in hand, and looked out at the lights of New York through his window. She was sure there was some lever or knob to shade the windows, but there was something calming about seeing all the other people who were also living their lives in each of those lit up windows, even if it was just the people cleaning the offices. It also gave her time to reflect, which was dangerous. Normally she would have pulled out her laptop and notebook, but both were gone. That meant that, unfortunately, if she didn't want to sit with her thoughts she was going to have to do actual school work.

Two hours later and raiding Steve's fridge and cabinets for snacks, Alex admitted defeat on one particular subject. She was going to have to get a tutor for Russian if she didn't want to fail. While Alex might never have been the smartest person in the room, she had never had this much trouble with anything academic before. It was disheartening and, on top of her inability to grasp the computer programs in the lab, made her wonder if everything else was just a fluke. Maybe she was a better actress than she even knew, fooling the world with the best performance they didn't know they were watching.

Alex still had the number Peter had gotten for her tucked in her bag. After a couple minutes of debate, she typed out a text inquiring if this was the individual offering to tutor people in Russian. After that she basically threw her phone across the room and started getting ahead on other course work. However, after about fifteen minutes she couldn't help herself and looked to see if there was a response.

Hello Alex, this is Olivia, and yes I am still available for tutoring in Russian. My rate is $25 an hour and my schedule is, unfortunately, not set so I will need a little flexibility from you. If all of that is acceptable, send me a place for us to meet so I can assess your skill level. Thank you, Olivia.

Alex wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed that Olivia responded, but she started typing back a reply. Twenty-five an hour wasn't a bad price, but all Alex could think about was the money she was going to have to spend to get furniture back in her apartment. Stark paid his employees well, but it was still going to put a huge strain on her already battered bank account. However, it was nowhere near the hurt that it would experience if Alex lost her scholarship for her last semester of college.

Then there was the problem of figuring out where to meet this Olivia. Even if her apartment hadn't been torn to shreds, the thought of inviting a stranger into her apartment after what happened when she did that the year before didn't seem like a good idea. As she was a guest both at Monica and Steve's apartment, it wouldn't have been appropriate to invite Olivia there, not to mention the Stark Tower would be hard to explain. Still, fumbling through her atrocious Russian in one of the numerous Starbucks in town didn't sound like a good idea either.

That sounds great, Olivia. My schedule is pretty set so I am sure we can find times that line up. How would you feel about us meeting at Washington Square Park? The weather is not too bad yet and that way no one will look at us too funny for talking Russian. How about tomorrow at 2 o'clock?

It didn't take long for Olivia to respond. You must be taking Kuznetsov at NYU. He's class is a bear, but you will come out of it with a good grasp of the language. I think I still have a copy of his syllabus around here so I'll read up on it. I should be done with my route by then. Look for the smaller woman with a bike, black hair, and a leather jacket.

Alex sent back saying she would be there and felt a bit better. At least she had taken control of one of the many spiraling aspects of her life. Now that was off her to-do list, Alex believed that she deserved a break. When going through Steve's kitchen again didn't spark any desire to eat away her boredom, she decided to explore the rest of the apartment. There were only two other rooms. One that seemed to be a guest room that also operated as a computer room. Alex wondered if Steve ever even used the computer or had it because Tony insisted on it being there. The other room was far more interesting. It was an art studio.

The room was not very large, but it was the only room in the apartment that seemed lived in. One wall was windows, with an easel set up in one of the corner to catch the natural light, another one held a drafting a table with a lamp and a half finished sketch, the third wall was all storage with each drawer neatly labeled, the fourth and final wall seemed to be storage for his finished work. Alex turned on the lamp and took a look at the sketch on the table. It was rough, but obviously Central Park. She was no artist, but her untrained eye thought it was pretty impressive.

Curiosity led Alex to start going through his finished works. It might constitute a breach of his privacy, but he had bugged her apartment the year before, and they were even friends at that time, so she figured that she was justified. The various drawers and shelves were filled with sketch books and paintings of all sizes, acrylics and watercolors alike. Most of the paints were landscapes and scenes from around New York, however the sketchbooks were far more personal. There were scenes from the war, from the Battle of New York, and a number of other missions that Alex couldn't put a time or place to. Most were done in pencil or charcoal, but all held a good deal of emotion. It was Steve's diary, in a way, and Alex couldn't stop flipping the pages.

Alex's fingers were stained with residual charcoal when she finally couldn't take anymore, slipping it back into the slot she had taken it from. It was already late, but Alex couldn't bring herself to get off the floor and go to bed. Once again she had been reminded of how human Steve was, as well as the horror he had faced and some that he had committed on others. Apparently it weighed on Steve's mind as well, if the drawings were any indication and the emotion pressed into each pass of the charcoal. Steve Rogers was not perfect, no one was, no matter how put together he seemed. Food for thought.

Eventually Alex got off the floor, her ass sore, and got ready for bed. While there was a perfectly good guest room, something about sleeping in there felt weird. Instead, Alex stole a blanket and pillow off of Steve's bed and settled down on his couch. The blanket smelled amazing, but the pillow was a little harder than Alex liked. However, as she was basically a squatter at his apartment, she couldn't complain too much.

A lot of the lights in the surrounding buildings were off now, but New York never went dark and Alex used it as her nightlight. For the first time in almost a year, she slept throughout the night without a single nightmare before her alarm woke her at five-thirty for her morning run.

#fanfic #My writing #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #marvel #bucky x oc #A Spider Sat Down Beside Her #Update 14

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neven-ebrez · 5 years

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so what the world look like if amara was knocked out.. wasn't she trapped in the first place?

I’m not sure what “knocked out” means here, anon. We know what the world looks like with Amara free tho. S11 showed us. If she’s killed then the same collapse we saw when Chuck was nearly killed would happen theoretically. Before that tho, she actively “infected” everything. It’s like... with her sealed up her influence on the universal tapestry is still felt tho. Even before she was free her “effect” remained tho. It’s felt in the control put over Angels. It’s felt in the Leviathans devouring everything. It’s felt in Lucifer. It’s felt in Cain. It’s felt in Dean. Even with the source “sealed” the Mark infects/corrupts things/creation as like... a base function of its existence. We hear it (tho the God version) did much the same to Cas in the Vamp!chesters AU but Berens wasn’t very clear on what “it drove him crazy” exactly is.

Now, when Amara was free she actively was trying to infect/destroy things, post S11 she has worked to not actively do this. It’s like... infection management with careful practice and control. All this is great but there’s still an effect she has in some way, which is why she must exist alongside God. It’s some kind of universal law of balance, along with their effects: creation vs destruction. Chuck tells us humanity needed to exist (or it was something to that effect) so in that same vein, some sort of negative check to that has to exist as well. So the way I view it is this is not just some story Chuck is stuck on out of pure 100% entertainment, but it’s actually a problem he doesn’t know how to solve, so instead he becomes obsessed with it. He found a way to delay the imbalance by locking up his sister, but he hasn’t actually solved the problem. And he’s creating thousands of universes examining it. That’s why it’s “destiny” or “fate” that this scenario keeps happening or whatever. So it’s like... Chuck takes DELIGHT in watching no one else figure out the solution either!

I think that’s why he’s so obsessed with our Sam and Dean, that they and only they keep figuring out ways to prologue the ultimate elimination event. They’ve presumably made it work better than any other experiment. Dean calls their world a rat maze. The ultimate goal of the maze, the experiment, is that eventually the rats figure it out and get the cheese. All this, to me, is just Chuck trying to figure out the solution to the problem of the universe and how it must function, which is without peace or pause, a constant struggle. I think that’s maybe why he made Heaven function the way it does. But it’s like... he couldn’t figure out how to do it on a grand unified scale, only in the realm of death.

Mind you, none of this theorizing is like canon or anything to how Chuck has been reasoned to behave. It’s me trying to make sense of why he’s doing what he’s doing beyond him just “liking this Sam and Dean” without greater meaning. When he tried to reassure Sam in 15x09 that he means well and he tells him that Sam is trying to find another way but that it’s laughable because there’s so much he doesn’t understand... that tells me that this is definitely a “problem” that he’s thought about, under universal law, even if the show itself has only brushed along that scientific like terminology and thinks and describes things more in terms of storycraft than anything. It doesn’t change what it is tho.

It’s one of those things where I don’t know the exact solution and this feels, to me, more complicated than the show has time for, but the meta community has looked at this same problem from different levels for a long time. And while the show has renamed the problem and used different characters to explore the answer, it’s still baseline how the show has been written. And it started with Hell and Monsters. That’s why Sam and Dean are being forced to realize the unfairness more than ever through Kevin and Eileen, and soon, Garth. They and the dozens and dozens of other friends, other family, they’ve sacrificed to the same “problem”. It’s everyone’s problem, you know?

The one thing that humans have created that Chuck could never envision was music (and nacho cheese I guess, lol). This is why I like my music theory so much. Because while they can rearrange the afterlife’s fairness a bit (using Jack) I’m not sure the universal laws can actually be changed. Hell’s like the one thing that can be completely eliminated because it was only created to house rebellious angels, torture of humans came after, with Lucifer’s corruption becoming irreparable and God seeing it as a separate sort of problem after the fact. Purgatory and Heaven existed first. We never hear of where Amara’s cage was but I think maybe in Purgatory or a like space.

Spoilers below for the Good Place:

The Good Place is two episodes out from finishing and they are currently tackling the same problem, how to fairly make a better afterlife system. And it involves letting people learn to get better, to keep trying until they get it right, and that “living” is just like... a starting point, a training course you take. Granted, they aren’t dealing with monsters but demons rule the Bad Place and non-people look over the Good Place. Then there’s a subset of beings that function like knowledge holders (collectively, Janet). Everyone is effected by the changes that have came with simply trying to be “better”. But to get back to SPN, I think there’s a human portal there for a reason. I think originally Purgatory was suppose to cleanse the negative (monster) corruption. Ideally, monsters would enter and humans would leave.

I’m not sure how it all originally looked like, before “the problem with the universe” became completely apparent to Chuck and I also don’t clearly know how it (the ending) should ideally look beyond involving music in some way (to be clear, the problem of Chuck and the problem of how the afterlife + monsters on Earth function is like... two separate problems), but all this is my basic understanding of everything. It’s how I see it all.

#zerbe discusses things #the tapestry of the system #back in s8 when we started discussing this problem and called it ‘the game’ or the ‘hunter’s cycle’#we threw a lot of solutions at the wall as a community #ive read so many takes and theories #but that was before dabb era outlined it in this more specific way #i like ideas from here and there but no solid solution beyond eliminating Hell has ever really landed on me #maybe if you leave the monsters but purgatory allows them to cleanse their souls and finally enter Heaven #i think that could be an okay solution #i think showing dean is purgatory letting go of his anger becoming his pure self #that this imagery and idea has been long established and viable #so i think its less they change universal law and more thst tfw 2.0 just comes up with a better more fair rat maze #and that chuck is allowed to stop working on the problem #end of the road #the shape of the path to victory #long post for ts #anonymous

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