#i might because this is the first thing in months i've put any effort into

[fleshmaid]

i finally drew a full ass picture for the first time in months

[nsfwflint]

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs/Official Goodbye Post

Well this was clearly going to happen eventually after retirement but I think it's for the best that I finally step away from this blog.

First things first, I want to thank everyone who supported me throughout the years. I started this blog in the middle of 2020 and all of you who supported me helped me get through some tough times, including the death of a family member. For a while, this blog was tons of fun. Ideas and words were flowing onto pages and the creative spark was immensely satisfying. Seeing people enjoy my own niche but vanilla works helped me feel good about my writing.

Like I said, this blog was a lot of fun. Until it wasn't. The pressure to perform, the idea that each piece had to be better than the one before it, even if nobody expected that. The growing "meta" of the community with certain idols becoming "mainstream". While I never tried to focus too much on notes, it did quickly get demoralizing to see pieces I poured countless hours of work into get less notes than some random pieces just because the idol I chose was less popular. It wasn't even really about the notes, it was about wanting to feel like the work I put in was acknowledged. Even though I shouldn't have let it affect me, as someone who always struggled with acknowledgement of others, it was tough on me. Eventually it felt like more and more of a chore to write because why bother if I'm not going to be acknowledged for my effort anyway?

This combined with drama from other writers (since this is goodbye post I don't feel bad about airing the dirty laundry, Peach you're still a bitch whose fragile ego couldn't take the same trash talk you dished to countless other people) and the community shifting to younger and younger idols to the point that I felt massively uncomfortable just communicating with some of the other writers in this circle of the internet, killed the spark I had for this hobby.

So I decided to retire. I flirted with a comeback every once in awhile, tried to finish at least a few of the multitude of partial drafts I had started to varying degrees over the years. But despite all of these efforts, I found that my love for this community truly died. But I still held onto to whatever vague attachments I had to this blog and tried to transform it into a random space to geek about my various hobbies since this was the biggest platform I've ever achieved while also messaging the few writers I still talked to. But as more and more of those writers also disappeared, it's time for me to accept that it's time to say goodbye.

Over the past few months I've been taking big steps to get my life into a place I want it to be and I think a big part of that now also involves laying this blog to rest. It's not fair to you guys who are still here expecting some type of possible comeback, and it's not fair to me to hold onto these feelings that at this point can only be reduced to nostalgia. While my catalog might not be as long or extensive as some of the other writers in the community, I'm still pretty proud of the work I put out for the most part.

If by any chance anyone still even reads any of my works, don't worry. The blog itself isn't going anywhere, I'm not deleting it. It'll stay here for a good long time. It just won't be a place I visit anymore.

Even though most of the following people are now gone, I want to take this time to thank some of the most influential people behind my time on this blog.

First, huge thanks once again to the amazing @lockefanfic and @sinsatmidnight. I've said it a million times but you two were the whole reason I started writing in the first place. You helped me onto this amazing journey and I'll always appreciate you for it.

@ggidolsmuts, @cataboliac, @themanthemyththeverite, you guys were some of my best friends in this community and I appreciate everything you all did for me. I love you guys.

A special shoutout to @kingmaker-a, you were my biggest fan and you were a huge reason why I kept going for a while. My last couple of pieces are definitely out because of your support.

A giant thank you to the 9,500ish who were here over the years. While I never quite got to 10k followers or hit 1k notes, the fact that there's still so many of you here never ceased to amaze me, especially since I never expected to get 100 followers, let alone almost 100 times that. Truly amazing and you all hold a special place in my heart.

And finally, to quote a manga I enjoy, "if you liked my work I'm happy, and if you didn't, I'm sorry but I can't do shit about that."

I'll stay on for a little bit to answer any potential farewell asks but I don't know how long that will last.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs and keep on rocking!

[meanbossart]

do you have any thoughts on cazador as a character? personally i really loved the parallels between him and astarion & the way that the master/spawn relationship is used as an allegory for cyclical abuse. the scene with cazador’s master’s skull where you find out that he was once victimized in the exact same way that he later victimized astarion was really a lightbulb moment for me re: what vampirism represents in this game.

BOY DO I, i don't think much of it hasn't already been said, though. He's a tragic character in his own right of course, not that that takes away from the awful man he is.

Me and my boyfriend make fun of him a lot, we call him "the best BG3 character" as a little inside joke between us and come up with ridiculous scenarios of things that might have occurred throughout those 200 miserable years the spawn had under his command lol. Maybe he had a month where he was really specific about the shoes everyone wore, maybe once every other decade he had a weird week where he tried to be "nice" only to become frustrated when his efforts weren't immediately met in kind by the rightfully-terrified spawn, maybe between all the torture and horrific-ness he just did some plain weird shit like making someone crouch by in his fainting couch and wait by open-handed for grapes that he dramatically chewed on and then spat right out since he can't actually eat them lmao

And that's hysterical but I think we also started doing that because when you meet Cazador, when you first hear his voice and see his demeanor in person your immediate reaction is probably somewhere along the lines of "THIS is the clown you were so scared of, Astarion?"

And the answer is, of course, yes. This embarrassing little man stuck in a cage of his making instills fear beyond comprehension in Astarion and all his siblings. This man who undoubtedly showed all these spawn, inadvertently, the strangest, most arguably "human" aspects of himself at some point or another during these two centuries they had together is also an absolute monster. And i really like that! I think its far more effective and fitting for his story than if he was, lets say, a Ketheric type.

(this got very long so, more under the cut)

Look at Ascended Astarion in the epilogue now, for example. Everyone agrees that he's an absolute fucking dork - and I think we all also agree that he will go on to destroy the lives of many people beyond repair, especially his own, until the day he is killed.

In the topic of vampirism as an allegory for abuse, I both agree and also don't, at least not exactly - i just think it's deeper than that. I've spoken about this in another post but i find it incredibly refreshing how, to me, it seems like Baldur's Gate 3 has no interest in painting vampirism as sexy or fun past a surface level. It's a curse that nobody asks for unless put in a situation where they feel as if they have no other way out, and it shapes and haunts you for the rest of your undead existence.

Even if you enjoy its benefits at first, that has a time limit. You will see your family and loved ones die, you will see culture evolve while you stay perpetually the same. You will experience so much hurt and pain because the only thing that makes life truly sweet is knowing that it is finite, and eventually it will wear down all of your humanity. And since you can't die unless you are scorched by the sun, staked, or dismembered, you must live with the knowledge that you will never have a peaceful death - and since you won't have a peaceful death, you better not die - and if you don't want to die, you better not be weak - and if you don't want to be weak, you must seek out power at all cost and slash things like love and friendship out of your life.

And what is funny, is that in his attempt to be more like a mortal - to eat, drink, walk the sun, such incredibly simple desires - Cazador (and Astarion, if he ascends) is accidentally only drawing further away from the person he supposedly once was, because that fear of weakness has already utterly corrupted his soul.

That's quite a grim way to look at it, of course. But I genuinely think that it is the natural conclusion of something like immortality.

That's why I quite like that, even after Astarion has found happiness, even after he finds his peace, he still doesn't exactly embrace being a vampire - because It's not something he should be expected to embrace. I think it's a very unique take on the trope.

I also want to leave here this message written by his character writer, which really got me thinking about him on a deeper level since i saw it months ago. It is specifically about the sexual aspect, but I think it branches beyond it too, when you think about it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for debating hiring outside help for my husband and I's house because we can't keep up alone?

For context: My (26 Fae ftm) husband (28M) live very happy and healthily together. While I'm unable to medically transition due to a bunch of reasons we'll get to, he has been nothing but a solid rock in my life and the one person that has always been on my side. Through dragging me out of an abusive household to helping me with my chronic illness, he's been an absolute angel despite dressing like the devil himself (he's goth). So I don't want any hate on him.

He is ADHD and I'm Autistic. Yes, hello, we are that couple~♡ This does cause us some issues tho as he is unmedicated and I'm just struggling in general with sensory issues for certain chores. So far we keep each other some what afloat, having him do chores that my sensory issues can't handle and my doing ones he can't focus through.

However, as previously mentioned I'm chronically ill. I won't get into many details but it's basically I'm internally bleeding at random intervals. And before people think I'm talking about just my period, no it's so bad that I have once had to go to the ER for a blood transfusion due to this internal bleeding and had times when I was bleeding for over 4 months straight.

My husband and I because of this condition are pretty much struggling financially. I can work but it makes me extremely fatigued since I'm essentially working with constant Anemia. It gets bad enough some days that he can't wake me up without over an hour of effort, even after I've slept 10hrs. The fatigue is REALLY bad. He works just as much as I do, sometimes more because his work is so shortstaffed and he likes to pick up extra shifts to try and save up for the surgery that would hopefully fix everything.

This has culminated though in us both being extremely exhausted near 24/7 for the last year-ish but we have finally hit a break. I recently got a huge pay increase (nearly $200 a week increase) so we are hopeful for the first time in months. We're starting to pay down my extreme medical debt and being able to just go get dinner when he doesn't want to cook.

Here's where I may be kind of TA... Despite this hope, my condition recently did get worse. I've now gone another 3 months still bleeding and having to suffer my Anemia symptoms and medication. This has caused me to fall massively behind on what should be my chores, and while my husband doesn't begrudge me it, it has caused our home to start becoming very, very unhygienic. As someone who grew up with a clean freak mother, it kinda upsets me. He's focusing more and more on me and less on the house so even his chores are falling behind too.

None of that is his fault. He loves me so much he wants to help Me first but it has gotten to where we are both going "we really need to clean the house..." but neither of us have enough battery to do so. Me becuz of my condition and he becuz he's stuck caring for me.

We have enough that we might be able to afford to hire a cleaning service to help us out, but it would cost us some of the freedom and paying down medical bills. I think it'd only be a temporary thing, once I recover from my current episode, we can probably get better... but I don't know how long it will be.

On top of this I'm worried paying for this service will further put off my surgery as we struggle to save up for it again... We've already had to tap into that savings cuz my current episode lost me 2 days at work.

Is it unfair for me to ask to use our new extra money for essentially my not wanting to have to bother doing basic chores? I know I'm tired but I've lived with it so long I could and should probably just push through.

What are these acronyms?

[remcycl333]

instant manifestation 🍄

something i have noticed lately is that there has become an obsession in this community with instant manifestation. people send me asks all day long that say "i want to manifest xyz and i want to manifest it NOW. i don't want to wait i want it today or not at all."

is instant manifestation possible? of course it is!! we've all seen the success stories where people have received instant results. i've manifested instantly as well. it's 100% possible, but i still feel like the community has become a little too obsessed with manifesting instantly.

you found the law of assumption and found out that you could manifest literally anything you want. endless money, the love of your life, a gigantic mansion for free, your desired face. and you say "okay. but only if i can get it in one day or less." ???????

you have the power to get anything you want, with no limitations, just by thinking thoughts. sure, you might have to think these thoughts consistently for a few days, maybe even weeks or months. but then you will literally have your desire for as long as you want it--for the rest of your life if that's what you want!!! but you're not willing for it to take any longer than one day???

yes, it's possible to manifest your entire dream life in one day. each and every one of you are capable of doing so. but to give up on your desire and/or your dream life because you are not willing to put in time and effort to cultivate what you want??

i understand that some of you are manifesting things that have a deadline. this does not apply to you. but a lot of you need to stop setting arbitrary deadlines for your desires. for example, "i need to manifest my SP by christmas." or what? what's gonna happen if you don't manifest them by christmas? are you no longer going to want to be with them? are you not gonna want your desire anymore?

9/10 times all setting a deadline does is add unnecessary stress to your manifestation. "omg its x amount of days until my deadline and i still don't have it oh no i need to affirm more i must be doing something wrong" etc. or, the deadline will come and go and you will continue manifesting your desire, but now your confidence is shaken and you feel discouraged. you set another deadline and the process repeats itself over and over again until you’ve created the limiting beliefs that you just can’t manifest, that you’re bad at manifesting, that manifesting is impossible for you. sound familiar?

 stop making arbitrary deadlines for your manifestation because at the end of the day if it comes and goes and you still don't have your desire you are still going to want it.

let me give you a little anecdote:

in 2020 i wanted to manifest a text from an sp. i had already been trying for a while, but i had discovered the law of attraction first and wasted a lot of time on that. when i discovered the law of assumption, i was growing impatient and wanted to manifest a text instantly. i had already been waiting for so long. i would check my phone constantly and see i didn’t have a text from my sp and get so upset. id re-affirm the fact that he still hadn't texted me. i started setting deadlines. i decided i’d manifest a text from him overnight, then by the end of the week, then by summer, then by my birthday. my deadlines would come and go and i would “fail” .... but i still wanted to talk to my sp. i still wanted him. so i’d keep going, now with the belief that manifesting a text from him was fucking impossible and that i’d never get what i wanted. it wasn't until months of this cycle passed that i finally put my foot down and said you know that? fuck time. i don't give a fuck how long it takes, i am going to give this my all until it manifests. i don't care if it takes months, i will not waver. i will not throw a fit because it's been x amount of days and it still hasn't manifested. i know that no matter how much time goes by i will still want my sp. so i won't stop until i get him. i think it took me about three weeks of keeping my mental diet in check and not reacting to my 3D, but i got my manifestation. and those three weeks were worth it.

you have two options: 1) stop giving a fuck about time, how long you've been persisting and how much longer you may have to go, and just give it your all and get what you want, or 2) complain every day about how long it's taking because you are hellbent on manifesting instantly and hate your current circumstances, and have to stay exactly where you are with no progress because you won't just put in the work.

which choice are you going to make?

[eywamygoddesswrites]

— 𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓭 — (multiple x fem!reader) | 1

pairing: avatar men x fem!human!reader

tags: just men taking care of the reader during her period, can be seen as platonic/romantic

warnings: like one pussy joke and that's about it HAHAHAHAHA

a/n: neteyam, lo'ak, ao'nung, and rotxo are aged up! this is for the men characters since i don't want it to be too long. the ladies of avatar will have their own post because let's all be honest, we love women. also i made this 'cause it's currently shark week and everything hurts ;-;

also sorry for the lack of any new fics. i'm hella hella busy with school and i have duties next week (just 3 days) but i will be in the hospital with no data sooooo yeah :cc and the rest are regular f2f classes. i hope y'all understand.

also, happy one month everyone!! i've been posting for one month now and i hope we continue this flowery road together 💙 anywhos, i hope you guys enjoy!

word count: 1.3k

jake sully

this man was a human in his previous life, he knows what the fuck he was doing

when you got your period in the middle of work, jake (with his strong avatar senses) caught a scent of you

he asked norm where they keep women's pads and norm pointed to where they were

he got some pads and getting a few more stuff that you liked

some chocolate bar, a venti cup of coffee/juice/tea, and a heating pad

you were surprised when he stood beside you with said stuff in his hands

then you finally got the idea

oooooooohhhhh… is it that time already?

yes, baby girl. but don’t worry, i’ll help you

he goes with you until you reach the lady's comfort room

he gives you the pads and tells you to holler for him if you need anything else

waits for you while you do your thing

younger!jake would rock back and forth on his feet and bite off the skin of his lips (a habit i canon him of having) while he waited by the door

older!jake would go to get the stuff he forgot if he forgets and comes back before you knew he even left

once you were done, he suggests you take a rest now before the cramps start

you told norm this and being the great friend he was, he lets you go rest

jake would be there for you like your personal cocoon

he would massage you abdomen, lower back, head, or wherever you felt pain in

would get you whatever that is you need

just honestly the best in the bunch since he knew what human women go through

neteyam sully

you yo daddy’s son !!!11!1!!

but for real, he’s like a mini jake with neytiri’s face and her nurturing aura

he learned how to care for human girls because of his dad

literally cried when you first got your period since he thought you were dying

but jake reassures him it’s a normal thing human girls go through (since na’vi girls and women don’t go through this | i agree with the fanon that na’vi women don’t get periods)

would learn basic human anatomy just so he understands what was happening during your periods

kinda scared because of the side effects of periods

would do anything and everything just for you to be comfortable during your monthly bleeds

since na’vi bodies were a lot warmer, he uses his hands as heating pads to put over your abdomen

would purr when you’re on his chest as he massages your lower back

sings his songcord to you to lull you to sleep

kisses are a must with this man

would litter you with kisses to make you smile and feel better

he just loves you :ccc

lo’ak sully

obviously, like neteyam, he knows that human girls get their period

he’s similar to neteyam but a bit different in his approach to periods

he didn’t really know what he was supposed to do at first

like, should he massage you or should he not because it might worsen your pain

do you like chips or chocolate more?

what pussy size you got because there are so many pad sizes—

tAMPONS ARE A THING WHAT—

lowkey scared of that thing and why tf does it go in?!>!?!

still, his effort counts really

it’s the thought that counts

he still helps you around (even with the smallest thing like grabbing a cup of water)

would follow your commands especially when the pain is unbearable and you need assistance

he would stay with you in your room even when you sleep just in case you wake up and need help (even if you told him it’s okay to go home and rest. he insists on staying)

would go to norm and ask for extra gas air when he runs out of it

would bring you some pandora fruits because weirdly, you crave them more than the regular food you eat

would treat you greatly 1000/10

tonowari

like his son, he didn’t know what periods are so he asks his friend jake about it

upon learning what they were, he immediately goes into his ‘teddy bear’ mode

he would be cuddly as fuck

like  c u d d l y  cuddly

a cuddle bug for sure

he would always bring you fresh food to eat

would help around your home despite being a busy man himself

would treat you as if you were a porcelain doll

would weave you a reusable period underwear (with the help of ronal) so you can just clean them and reuse them

would do your laundry and wouldn’t be bothered by the blood stains at all

when you need him (especially when you’re a lot emotional), he would stay with you until you feel better

doesn’t matter if you fell asleep. he will do his duties once you wake up and say that you’re feeling better

only then he would be comfortable enough to leave to tend to his duties

would ask tsireya and ronal to look after you especially when he’s a lot busier and can’t go to you physically

overall like my man jake but a lot more domestic

would recommend to everyone

ao’nung

he didn’t understand what a period is and why you got them because he didn’t care at first

you’re a sky person, the cause of distruction

but you were different (or whatever jake sully and his kids say)

but the more time he spent with you, he must at least learn what you go through, being your period

it was weird that you had to go through this every month until you become old

like, his mom and sister never got these so why were your kind cursed with them?

would ask jake or his kids what he can do to help you out

you stayed in a makeshift house with regular oxygen so you can eat without having the stupid mask on

ao’nung literally didn’t like the mask he has to breathe pandora air in but after one time that he didn’t use them, he didn’t like the feeling so he uses them religiously when he’s with you

he would bring you gifts and meals he caught so you don’t feel too isolated when you don’t leave your home

would ask you constantly what you were feeling and if you feel uncomfortable at every moment of the day

are you okay? does you abdomen hur—

i’m fine ao’nung!!

would still ask for confirmation if you’re really really okay

would carry you every time you leave your house (even if you went out to walk and stretch your legs)

shy with physical affection (hugs, kisses) so the most he can do is carry you

call it his love language in a way

rotxo

he was absolutely lost when he sees you bleeding. like neteyam, he thought you were dying

he thought he would never see you again

but when you explained that human women bleeding was normal, he was like:

dude, that must suck so bad

it does, rotxo, it does

but still, he wants to help you out the best way he can

like the other metkayina men here, he would bring you food to eat and bring little trinkets to make you feel better

since metkayina bodies were a lot cooler than omatikaya bodies but still warmer than human bodies, he does his best to warm you up

he stays with you as much as he can just so he can help you

craving for a certain fruit? he’ll get it for you

need a soothing cream from ronal? he will get it for you

you feel tired? he can go into your home, use the stupid-looking gas mask to breathe and stay with you longer, and keep you company

he’s just a sweetheart man give him compliments pls

taglist: @nyotamalfoy @hanhanartz @murderousmushroom @myvath @iwaslikeblah

— part 2 with the avatar ladies here

[pluckyredhead]

Did I just read your Super Sons primer from 2020 at 3 am on a Monday morning because I'm having a real normal one? Maybe?! I'm wondering how you feel about how they and their relationship has developed since then. IMO it's... Pretty bleak. 😩

I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. (Also here's the primer for anyone who missed it.)

So I will say that 95% of everything Jon has been in since he got aged up has been hot garbage, but I do think the exception is when Damian is around. But let's take it from the top!

First of all, I don't necessarily think they should de-age him again. Generally speaking I think it's better storytelling to focus on fixing things moving forward, rather than undoing things moving back. Sure, if DC came up with some big cosmic event that reset Jon to 11, I certainly wouldn't complain, but I'd rather see them, uh...do literally anything with Teen Jon that doesn't suck.

But yeah, aging Jon up to begin with still makes me livid because:

I want my baby to have had a childhood.

It's fully character assassination for Lois and Clark. They would NEVER let their 11-year-old go to outer space with a supervillain. Lois would NEVER just abandon him out there, and Clark would NEVER respond with "Well, I'm sure he's fine, wanna have marathon sex?" I honestly have no idea what Bendis or his editor were thinking.

They have not done a single interesting with him since!!!

Putting this behind a cut because it got LONG. Also spoilers for Beast World in there.

I've said this before, but I have to assume that Bendis wanted to age Jon up because he wanted to write a Legion book. But he also in his wisdom decided to bring Kon back into continuity at exactly the same time, which means we have two nearly identical Superboys that DC didn't and still doesn't know what to do with. Kon clearly couldn't have joined the LOSH because he already had a team, but you know what Super teen was available, and not 11, and who has a history with the Legion that goes back almost as long as Clark's? KARA. But I will save that rant for another day.

And honestly, Kara dodged a bullet, because that Legion book was unreadable. Bendis at his most Bendis-y wall of text interrupt-y conversations and no plot. If I give Tom Taylor any credit it's that the second he got his hands on Jon, he torpedoed Jon/Imra as a ship. GOOD.

And when the LOSH book finally went out with a whimper (that JLA/LOSH miniseries! what was that!!!), we entered the Taylor Era. Taylor's quirks are less stylistic and more narrative than Bendis's. You can spot Bendisian dialogue at twenty paces, but a Taylor comic tips its hand when it sets up a really interesting premise or a really high stakes threat and then immediately undercuts it with a little wet fart noise of nothing. To wit:

Jon's starting college! This will be an interesting challenge for him to readjust to normal life after six years in a torture-volcano and an indeterminate amount of time in the future, and also considering he never graduated from sixth grade. I wonder what will - oh no he dropped out after three pages. (He has done NOTHING in his civilian identity since, btw. I guess he's too busy hovering just behind Dick at all times to work on his GED or whatever.)

Jon is going to confront Ultraman! Finally the comics will have to engage with all the trauma he must have - oh no Ultraman's dead.

Jon is trapped in the Injustice Universe! This is a really dangerous universe that might make him question everything he knows about - oh he just lectured everyone and flounced off home.

Beast World is a perfect example. Taylor seems to think that having a hero effortlessly solve a problem makes them look badass, but it's actually the effort that makes them look badass. So like, we spent five months keeping the Kryptonians and other A-class heroes away from the spores because the spores are attracted to power and if a Super got spore'd everyone would be in big trouble...but then in the last issue, they just have Jon fly up to everyone with a spore in them, wait for the spore to jump at him, and catch it? That doesn't make the Titans look smart or Jon look tough. It makes all of them look like idiots because it it was that easy, why didn't they do that in the first place?

On top of that, Taylor doesn't ever really earn relationships. Jon and Jay is the obvious one. Jay has no personality. There's no chemistry between the two characters. Jon might as well be dating a cardboard cutout labeled "Proof of Queerness." (Or "Bernard." Ahem.) But we're supposed to be like, yes, give Tom Taylor a GLAAD award for using queer characters as props, when he's going to turn around and kiss Chuck Dixon's ass on social for being homophobic about Jon? UGH.

Honestly worse for me though is the Jon and Dick relationship. Because Taylor is writing both characters, we're supposed to believe that there's this close mentor-mentee bond there? I don't think they EVER interacted before the Taylor era. (And don't even look at me with that retconned-in scene of Dick finding lost baby Jon. You're telling me that Superman, with his X-ray and telescopic vision, needs to call Bruce and Dick for help finding his own son? Fuck off.)

Anyway it all combines to make basically every Jon appearance for the past three years profoundly unsatisfying. Even the stuff that isn't by Taylor never goes anywhere. Remember when he was jealous of the Super Twins for two panels? And then everyone forgot about it forever? SIGH.

HOWEVER.

However.

If there is one thing that Bendis and Taylor and every other writer got right, it's that Jon is crazy bonkers in love with Damian always and forever. Jon has been written like shit since 2019, but he has also not wavered in his devotion for even one single solitary second.

THE EVIDENCE:

This is the first thing Jon does when he gets back to Earth:

He then tells Damian he's contemplating not joining the Legion because he'll have to leave Damian behind. Damian tells him to go and then come get him if it's cool.

Turns out the Legion is cool. Jon comes and gets Damian. The Legion isn't happy about it and Jon threatens to leave if Damian can't stay, while gazing adoringly at Damian's unconscious body cradled in his arms:

Eventually LOSH is canceled and Jon comes home and starts following Damian around by listening for his heartbeat. LIKE PALS DO!

Then Damian gives him a pep talk!

Then there's this ABSOLUTE CUDDLE:

The way Damian nuzzles into Jon's shoulder! Can you even stand it!

And then there's this:

The climax of Son of Kal-El, btw, is one of the several times Jon is saved by Damian and confides in Damian and turns to Damian for comfort or advice...and Jay is just sort of standing there off to the side. I am fully aware I have ship goggles on but the degree of emotional investment Jon has in these relationships is not the same.

Then they had a special issue teamup:

Then we got Dark Crisis, and I actually love this interaction between them, because they are very different people with very different upbringings and this feels extremely in character to me for how they would both handle the loss of their fathers:

But even when they disagree, they still instantly support each other. Jon comes back with information? Damian makes a plan:

Also, we got the 2022 Pride issue where Jon, Jay, and Damian go to Pride together. I know that story is...contentious...but leave me here with Damian sulking while Jon and Jay kiss, okay?

Then we get Adventures of Superman, which is objectively awful, but Jon does spend his whole time in the Injustice universe thinking about Damian like the seagulls in Finding Nemo saying "Mine? Mine? Mine?"

This whole arc is truly hilarious. Jon finds out that Damian accidentally killed Dick and his response is to a) go find Batman and yell at him for not supporting Damian enough for accidentally killing Dick, and then b) go find Damian to be like "Wow, that must have been really hard for you (accidentally killing Dick)." There's being ride or die for your BFF, and then there's whatever the fuck Jon has going on.

(Meanwhile there's an incredibly uncomfortable scene with him and Injustice Jay where Jay "tests" him by trying to get Jon to cheat on regular Jay. So. That happens.)

And then just this past month we got Nightwing #110, where we learn that Jon is still listening to Damian's heart:

He completely freaks out watching Damian in danger, and immediately intervenes when it looks like Damian is about to kill someone because he knows what matters the most to Damian. Also, this happens:

YOU WIN THIS ONE, TAYLOR.

AND THEN THEY BICKER I LOVE IT WHEN THEY BICKER:

AND THEN DAMIAN LETS HIMSELF BE VULNERABLE BY ASKING JON IF HE HURT ANYONE WHILE HE WAS A KITTY, AND JON GIVES YET ANOTHER SPEECH ABOUT HOW DAMIAN HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG EVER, IN HIS LIFE, AND DAMIAN STAGGERS OFF, LEANING ON JON.

This isn't even getting into the Trinity backup stories in Wonder Woman, which, like...Tom King is not valid but Jon and Damian are such an old married couple in them? It's truly incredible?

It took me like 45 minutes to parse Jon's line here as the general 'you" and not specifically Jon saying Damian wasn't straight. But like..."That's for straight people, which has nothing to do with us" is a hell of a thing to say, Jonathan.

I ALSO haven't even talked about DCeased because it's a different universe, but! Jon sitting with Damian while he dies??? MY HEART.

IN CONCLUSION:

Yes, they should never have aged up Jon.

Yes, most of his appearances since have been terrible and bland.

But OH BOY, do he and Damian remain in love.

[deckofcookiez]

The Alex Kister Situation

Alright; I've been more of a lurker on here for awhile, but for months now--almost a year--I've been a massive fan of the Mandela Catalogue, and this fandom has been a major form of escapism and safety for me. So, I feel the need to say something about the current situation.

To start, I'm putting a link to the document with all of the information about what happened, as it's important to read it and learn about this whole situation in depth:

With that out of the way, I just wanted to share my own personal opinion; personally, Mandela Catalogue has legitimately become my special interest. I have pretty much obsessed over it ever since I first found it, and everything I've written or drawn since then has been to do with it. It's been very important to me, especially due to the community here on tumblr, as this fandom is probably the most supportive and open places on the internet I've found. I feel a lot more connected because of it, and it made me feel comfortable and safe.

I was in a bad mental space today, and when I found out about this, I had a pretty bad breakdown--some might call it an overreaction, but you don't know just how dependent my mental health had become on this series and fandom. (I will be working on avoiding this habit in the future, as it isn't healthy to depend so heavily on one interest)

After reading through the document, and just seeing so many opinions and contributions from others, I am almost certain that these allegations are true. But I always, always listen to all perspectives before making judgement, so I will not be going full "I hate Alex, he's a despicable person!!" before Alex gives his own point of view.

That being said, I do believe Alex has serious issues that he needs to get handled. I am hesitant to call this pedophilia, as from what I've gathered, he didn't seem to have active malicious intent towards minors(correct me if I missed something that said otherwise)--rather, I get the impression that Alex simply doesn't understand boundaries, and genuinely saw his fans as mutuals. He seems to be a person who's manipulative--whether intentionally or not--and his personal relationships, platonic, romantic, or sexual, turn very toxic because of this. So, trying to have personal relationships with fans, people who look up to him and see him in a very different light, results in inevitable toxicity as well.

I get the sense that Alex simply is a young person, struggling with mental health and gender dysphoria, who was thrust into extreme popularity very suddenly, and doesn't have the maturity level to handle it properly. Overall, I do not support him, if he continues to act like this--if he makes genuine, real efforts to deal with his mental health and his unhealthy behaviours, I would respect him for that. I wouldn't look at him quite the same, but as long as someone makes genuine efforts to better themself after doing something wrong, I appreciate and respect that, and may eventually give forgiveness. But, if he doesn't make those efforts, if he continues his patterns and refuses to try and get better, then that is on him and at that point I have lost any and all respect for him. At that point, you are not a good or reasonable person, in my eyes.

Regardless of how things go with Alex himself, though, I want to say...

You do not have to support a creator to enjoy their work!!

I am a huge fan of Danny Phantom, and that show's creator is a genuine piece of shit. Like, a truly despicable human being. That fandom successfully has, just... completely ripped the show and characters from their creator. They have cut him out entirely, nothing he says holds any impact or meaning to them and it hasn't for years. He's seriously fallen off. And it's still a fun, active fandom! The people in there are super neat!!

And, hell, look at the whole mess with J. K. Rowling!! She is an absolutely disgusting person. But so many people grew up with Harry Potter, and still like her stories, without actively supporting her--lots of creators turn out to be really awful people, but that doesn't mean that what they made is automatically awful as well. They still have some kind of creative ability, that happened to produce something that garnered a significant amount of attention.

We don't need Alex to still enjoy the concept, characters, and overall story he's created. We can still make fanworks, still appreciate what it is that drew us to the series in the first place.

Honestly, out of everything that the fallout of this would bring, I was most terrified of the fandom itself dying, as that is what truly matters the most to me. This place, these people are so important to me, and I am so scared of this community falling apart. I've already seen plenty of people stating that they will no longer be associating with TMC, and are just completely distancing themselves from it. It feels like things are already dying and disappearing and it really, really fucking hurts.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that... if that is your choice, if you truly do not want to associate with TMC anymore whatsoever, then I don't blame you for it. I understand if you can't look at the series the same way after this, and I respect that choice.

But you don't have to, if it still means anything to you. Fandoms are more than just their creators--they're the community that has been built around the work, and this community is possibly the best one I've ever been in. I don't want to see it die. So, just know, that you can still love this fandom, this story, these characters, without supporting Alex. You can still draw the characters, make OCs, write fanfiction, etc. He won't get money from that--only from directly watching his content or buying his merch.

Finally, I'd like to say to go support the victims. They didn't deserve this--no matter what Alex's intentions were. Please support them, and regardless of how this turns out, do not continue actively supporting Alex Kister. I am sure that, whatever his intentions were, he did still harm people and that is not okay.

Also, this is all just my own opinion, based on what I know; I was not in the discord, I don't have Twitter, I don't personally know anyone involved and I have not seen everything regarding the situation as a whole. I simply felt I should state my current opinion, as I'm seeing a lot of people freaking out and spiraling and just leaving the fandom entirely. I wanted to remind people that it's okay to still enjoy this fandom and be a part of it, without Alex. My opinion may change some with new information I find, but overall, I am of the opinion that Alex should not be supported, while the Mandela Catalogue itself can be separated from him and still be enjoyed and appreciated.

And, whatever happens... Adam Murray, Jonah Marshall and Thatcher Davis are officially honorary characters in my stash of little guys. If he's not fit to keep them then they will become my creative outlet instead (and others who love them, obviously). They're very special characters to me, I can't express just how many things I have written and drawn to do with them, and I refuse to give them up.

(another addition, regarding the apparent 'alter egos' Alex apparently had: Possibly consider DID? I know a lot of people with DID will often mistake it for other things, including simply being gender non-conforming, when in actuality they really have alters that just identify differently. Not diagnosing, I don't know enough about him to make any real claims--it was just a thought.)

[trans-axolotl]

can I ask what a harm reduction self harm plan is? I saw you mention that and I've never heard of it before.

Sure! I'm going to put a trigger warning on this post for in depth discussion of self harm and self harm methods--please approach with caution!

A harm reduction plan for dealing with self-harm can look like many different things, but it's basically any plan for coping with self-harm where completely stopping self-harm is not the main goal. A harm reduction approach to self-harm recognizes that self-harm is a coping skill that people start using because it does meet some need, even if it also causes other problems or the benefit begins to get outweighed by the harms. Harm reduction can help you slowly start to work to understand what that underlying need is and work to meet it in other ways, without demonizing you for doing what you need to survive. Harm reduction can be an important way to take care of yourself and make some less risky choices, even if you're in a situation where you're not ready or not capable of stopping self-harming. Everyone's individual needs will look different, but there's several categories that can be good to consider if you're wanting to make a change in how you approach your self-harm.

One category is frequency. When you're actively struggling with self-harm, it can become really addictive. A harm reduction self-harm goal around frequency might look like making a goal for reducing how many times you self-harm per day, week, or month. Instead of traditional coping plans for self-harm where any instance of self-harm is seen as a relapse and might bring up feelings of failure, goals about reducing the frequency of self-harm might allow you to achieve positive changes that you feel good about, even if you're not stopping completely. For some people, it might help ease into doing healing work that requires a lot of emotional energy and processing, as you will still know that you have access to old coping skills and might not feel as bad about still being in a position where you're using them. It also might help you continue to feel committed to healing when relapses do happen, instead of seeing relapses as a catastrophic moment where if you're going to break your streak of days clean, you get into a "fuck everything" mindset and use riskier behaviors.

Another category is severity. We might not be ready to give up self-harm completely, but reducing the severity of the self-harm method we use might feel like a more accessible way to reduce the risk and take care of ourselves. This can look like making the effort to make more shallow cuts instead of deeper ones, less severe burns, or banging our heads on a surface that is softer. This can also look like switching from a more dangerous method of self-harm to a less dangerous form of self-harm. Even things like snapping a rubber band against your wrist instead of cutting could be considered a harm reduction approach to self-harm!

Another category that I like to focus on is environment. This is sort of a broader category that I like to use to focus on what other types of risk-reducing behaviors you can take. This can look like making sure that you always clean and sanitize your blades, that you have appropriate first aid materials and take care of wounds, that you only self-harm while sober, that you make sure the physical space you self harm in is clean and sanitized, that you tell a support person when you self harm or let someone else help with wound care--any of these things are things that could reduce some of the harms of self-harm. This could also look like setting up intentional self-care practices to use after you self-harm, whether it's sensory items, journalling, cuddling with an animal, using therapy coping skills, or distracting yourself.

A harm reduction approach to self-harm doesn't have to be restricted to the things I've listed above, and also can include goals about completely stopping self-harm! If you're in a place where you feel ready to stop completely, harm reduction might still be an helpful framework for considering how you want to engage with your self-harm urges and help you understand what path towards stopping self-harm feels most easily accessible.

I'll share what my personal harm reduction plan looks like. At different times during my life, my harm reduction plans used to be a lot more focused on reducing frequency and severity while still leaving room for regular self-harm. Now, my plan is with the goal of not using self-harm. However, if I do end up in a situation where I am using self-harm, my harm reduction informed goals are that: I use clean supplies. I self-harm indoors while sober. If I'm getting urges for a much more dangerous form of self-harm, I will let myself use cutting as a less risky form of self-harm. I practice safe wound care and leave a certain amount of time for those wounds to heal before self-harming in the same place again. If I self-harm more than once in a week, I let a support person know and ask for help with accountability.

My advice for anyone who's interested in taking a harm reduction approach to their self-harm is to embrace education and self-inquiry. Education about things like safer cutting and burning, anatomy, and wound care are really important so that you can actually know the risks and know what steps you can take to make things safer. I think self inquiry is also a good step to take when you're making any sort of coping plan. Really looking at your individual situation and figuring out what things seem the most achievable, what role self-harm is playing in your life, what triggers are connected to your self-harm, how you feel before and after you self-harm, how you want to feel, what parts of self-harm feel helpful and what parts you don't like. This can be a great thing to do with a support person if you have someone who you feel like can help you process this and give their perspective.

Here's a link to a google drive folder full of zines and workbooks about self-harm harm reduction. Trigger warning for continued discussion of self-harm, self-harm methods, anatomy, some mentions of suicidal ideation, and a photo of self-harm scars in the Icarus project zine.

Last thing I'll say is that it's okay to start small and give yourself the compassion to embrace where you're at. If reducing the frequency seems too hard right now, trying to always use clean blades is an amazing step! If changing anything about the way you self harm doesn't feel achievable, adding emotional self care into your self harm routine is still a win. If you never get to a place where you feel ready to stop completely, that's okay too--any and all steps you're taking to reduce the risk are so important and are worthy of celebrating.

Feel free to ask any other questions!

[ayelbee]

MORE THAN LOVE | K. MBAPPÉ | 7

previous chapter |

masterlist

Summary: Sometimes even love is not enough for relationships. But it's fine because you are over it. But getting again in a contact with his younger brother wasn't smart.

TW: bad english, bad writing

Notes: Hey, I'm so sorry that this took me so long, but last few months weren't really good to me. I'm really grateful for those who reached out to me (sorry, for no answering loves, but i do really love you and im thankful for you)

I will be back soon with a new chapter, love you very much guys

---

The next few days were a whirlwind of emotions. You tried to focus on work, but thoughts of Kylian kept creeping into your mind. You couldn't shake the feeling that maybe Ethan was right, that maybe there was still a chance for you and Kylian. But your rational side reminded you of the reasons you two broke up in the first place.

One evening, as you were sitting on your couch, scrolling through your phone, you received a text from an unknown number. It simply read, "Can we talk?" You felt a mix of curiosity and apprehension. After a moment of contemplation, you replied with a hesitant, "Okay."

The response came quickly, "Meet me at our spot tomorrow, 7 PM."

"Our spot" was a small park near the Seine River where you and Kylian used to spend lazy afternoons. It held countless memories, both happy and bittersweet. The idea of meeting there again brought a flood of emotions, but you agreed nonetheless.

The next evening, you found yourself at the park, the air filled with the fragrance of blooming flowers. As you approached the familiar bench, you saw Kylian waiting. His expression was a mix of nervousness and determination.

"Hi," he greeted you, standing up as you approached.

"Hi," you replied, unsure of what to expect.

Kylian gestured to the bench, and you both sat down. The silence hung heavy in the air until Kylian spoke, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Y/n."

You looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I know things between us didn't end well, and I've spent these days realizing my mistakes. I miss you, and I miss us," he confessed, his eyes searching yours for any sign of reciprocation.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "Kylian, we broke up for a reason. I can't forget the arguments, the misunderstandings, and the pain we caused each other."

He nodded, acknowledging your words. "I've been talking to my brother, and he made me see things from a different perspective. I know I messed up, but I'm willing to change, to make things work."

You looked at him skeptically, but a small part of you wanted to believe him. "Kylian, change takes time. It's not something that happens overnight. And I can't ignore the past."

He reached for your hand, his touch familiar and comforting. "I'm willing to put in the effort, Y/n. I love you, and I want to make things right."

As you looked into his eyes, you saw a sincerity that tugged at your heartstrings. The inner battle between your emotions and logic continued. Could Kylian change? Could you trust him again?

But deep down, you knew that reopening old wounds might not be the best idea. With a heavy heart, you pulled your hand away and said, "Kylian, I appreciate your honesty, but I need time to think. We both do."

He nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "Take all the time you need, Y/n. I just want a chance to show you that I can be the man you deserve."

You left the park that evening with a mix of emotions. The ball was now in your court, and the decision weighed heavily on your shoulders. The ride home was filled with the echoes of Kylian's words, leaving you in a state of uncertainty about the path ahead.

Could Kylian become the man you deserve? This wasn't the first time Kylian promised you that he would work on himself. Memories of that day came back to into your head.

The following week marked your return from the trip to visit your family in New York. The air in the apartment felt different as you unpacked your bags and settled back into your routine. The memories of the argument with Kylian still lingered, but there was an unspoken understanding that both of you needed time and space to heal.

As you entered the living room, you found Kylian sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. The atmosphere was tense, but you were determined to address the underlying issues.

"Hey," you greeted him, trying to keep your tone neutral.

Kylian looked up, offering a small smile. "Hey. How was your trip?"

"It was good. Nice to spend time with my family," you replied, taking a seat opposite him.

A silence hung in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken words. You decided to break it, "Kylian, we need to talk about what happened before I left."

He nodded, his eyes reflecting a mix of regret and longing. "I know. I messed up, Y/n. I shouldn't have said those things."

You sighed, "It's not just about what you said. It's about us, about our expectations and how we communicate. I don't want us to keep hurting each other."

Kylian ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration. "I don't want that either. I just… I got scared, and I didn't handle it well."

"I get that you're worried about us, about me. But we can't let fear dictate how we communicate," you emphasized.

He looked at you, his eyes searching for understanding. "I don't want to lose you, Y/n. I love you, and I don't want my insecurities to ruin what we have."

The sincerity in his voice tugged at your heart. "Kylian, I love you too. But we need to find a way to support each other without stifling our individual dreams. I won't ask you to give up football, and I can't give up my career either."

He nodded, a silent agreement settling between you. "I know, and I'm willing to work on it. I want us to figure this out together."

A sense of relief washed over you. "Me too. But it means we need to be open and honest with each other, even if it's uncomfortable."

Kylian reached for your hand, a small smile playing on his lips. "Deal. I don't want to lose you, Y/n. You're too important to me."

You squeezed his hand, a shared understanding passing between you. "I don't want to lose us either, Kylian. Let's take it one step at a time."

As you sat there, hands intertwined, a renewed sense of hope filled the room. The journey ahead remained uncertain, but the commitment to understanding and supporting each other became the foundation on which you both hoped to rebuild. The scars of the past would take time to heal, but the willingness to grow together offered a glimmer of possibility for the future.

Possibility for the future that didn't work out in the end....

-----

Tag list: @nightlockcornucopia, @she-lives-in-her-dreams, @sorceresski @m4k444 @mrs-dasilvasantoss @starofavolonea @mrswhitethornbelikov @kyksgirl

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

I've thought about the contradictions between Abstinence Camp and NPMD a lot, specifically with Pete, and I think I kind of love them??? I don't know how intentional this was, and I honestly don't care, but think about it- Pete is confident in himself and his ability, but he struggles with the difference between how he sees himself vs how others see him. He's got some identity issues, that's normal, but they don't show up at all in Abstinence Camp, there's not even a hint of trepidation in his friendship with Steph. The only time he even mentions being a loser is when he thinks it might negatively affect Steph's reputation, but that's concern for her, not himself.

The main thing that got me was the motivation change with his outfit. In Abstinence Camp he says that he wears the classic nerd look on the advice of his cool older brother, committing to an aesthetic. In NPMD he says that the outfit is specifically designed to prevent as much harassment as possible. Those two things didn't really click in my head until the thought popped up- what if he's just lying? Camp Idontwannabang has a strict social hierarchy for sure, but it's one that Pete doesn't have any reason to care about. You show up for the summer, you do the dumb activities, you have a bad time for a few months, you go home. There isn't a Max at Camp Idontwannabang. Sure, there's the Axe-Man, but he's just a scary story, the Boogeyman to blame when kids go missing in the woods. All he does, hypothetically, is kill you. Very bad, but he doesn't follow you home, drag you through the dirt, humiliate you for years on end, frighten everyone else into leaving you behind. So when Steph asks about the bow tie, why would he say the truth? Why would he drag all that baggage into a place where he is finally separated from it? Yeah. I wear it because I like to wear it. I make the choice to wear these things this way. I want to stick with this look. I feel cool.

He's been beat down since the fourth grade, not just by direct attacks on him, but by the attacks on people around him. Every choice he makes is in direct response to how Max has reacted to a similar choice in the past. The whole reason he wears a bow tie is to avoid what happened to Travis Colson. His most iconic fashion choice isn't really his own. It's a defensive reaction. All the nerds at Hatchetfield High are basically living in survival mode. The threat isn't just not being accepted, or being challenged by mean kids, the threat is getting the shit kicked out of you. The threat is being harassed and humiliated so badly and so constantly that you have to literally change your home address.

One of my favorite NPMD scenes is the scene at Pasquale's parking lot, because this might be the first piece of media I've ever seen that actually understands why people don't "stand up" to bullies. Sometimes when someone wants to hurt you, they will just do it. Max doesn't need a reason to hurt people. He just wants to, and he doesn't see any reason not to. Pete tries to establish himself, hoping that Max is putting up a front, hiding behind a tough façade. And he might be. But that doesn't stop him from beating Pete until his fists bruise over.

Pete isn't just hyping himself up or trying to act confident in front of a cool girl. Pete is reclaiming his autonomy. Because he doesn't get to make decisions for himself at school, it's all a futile effort to keep out of Max's line of sight. But anywhere else he gets to decide why he does things. And I just think that's neat.

[cookinguptales]

Related to the meta I wrote last time...

So there was this abandoned plot line from the episode with all the wives where one of Nandor's guy wives kept asking Guillermo questions about himself and that made Nandor uncomfortable so he had the Djinn poof him and like -- god, there's a lot to unpack there. Like, when I tell you that I've thought about that for months.

Now... there are a lot of different things I could say about this. And frankly speaking, I still might. But for now, what I really want to get into is this odd tendency I've noticed in Nandor to view his wives almost as extensions of himself. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this might be how he conceptualizes the difference between husbands and wives -- it's not a gender thing; it's a situation of ownership.

I'm not saying that Nandor is fully awful about this. He doesn't seem to believe that his wives literally belong to him or that he can tell them all what to do, like marriages of that time often would have been. But he does seem to see them as extensions of himself. They may not physically belong to him, but they are still his.

Like, he still expects these wives to be fully loyal to him. He still expects them to dote on him and guess what he wants and be pretty much exactly what he needs them to be. Their actions (and what people think of them) seem to be things that he believes reflect on him. Their actions are his actions, their beliefs are his beliefs, their wants are his wants -- and vice-versa.

We see this very literally becoming an issue with Marwa. He so fully transformed her into an extension of himself and his desires that she fully lost herself as a human being -- and that's even before he straight-up turned her into someone else.

So one of his wives being very interested in Guillermo does seem like something that would be very disturbing to him on a number of levels. First and foremost, there's the obvious annoyance that one of his wives would be interested in anyone but him. (We see him get upset with his others wives for this.) But then, you know, there's the fact that it's Guillermo specifically.

There's this discomfort with someone treating Guillermo as desirable and important, obviously, as it makes Nandor face the fact that Guillermo is desirable and important -- and that he hasn't treated him that way. There's also the discomfort with the fact that anyone else would get to know more about Guillermo's personal life than he does. But more than that, I think Nandor feels discomfort even acknowledging that Guillermo has a personal life outside of Nandor for people to ask questions about.

Nandor is very weird and possessive about Guillermo's personal life.

On top of all that, though, we have the fact that it is an extension of Nandor who is asking these questions. There's the inherent betrayal of part of him going to someone else, but more importantly -- I mean, it's very similar to what happened with Marwa at the wedding. A piece of him is very interested in Guillermo, and maybe that's going to make him confront the fact that he is very interested in Guillermo if he doesn't put it down immediately.

Because the thing is -- he does this to Guillermo, too. He very explicitly says that someone insulting Guillermo's honor is insulting his honor. He very explicitly claims Guillermo as his own and very purposefully monopolizes all his time and effort. He claims Guillermo's abilities, too, and uses them as he sees fit. He even physically manhandles Guillermo's body for his own needs. (See: using Guillermo's wrist, not just his watch, as his own in 4.09.) He has clearly always seen Guillermo as an extension of himself the same way he does his wives, and some of the shock of s3-s4 for him is realizing that Guillermo is his own person.

I think that's why we see him prodding at Guillermo and asking questions and watching him and testing him in s3. I think that's why he sounds bitter about not knowing anything about Guillermo's family or any of the things that he does in s4. I think it's why, when he is confronted with this person that Guillermo loves, this last small part of Guillermo that Nandor has not managed to possess, it makes him want to claim it for his own.

Nandor is wildly possessive over Guillermo in the same way he is his wives, but Guillermo is no longer happy simply with being possessed. There are parts of Guillermo (like his family, like the vampire hunting, like Freddie) that Nandor is slowly realizing he does not have access to, and he doesn't like that. Guillermo is really coming into himself, is becoming strong and recalcitrant and independent and uncontrollable, and Nandor isn't really sure how he feels about that.

Because here's the kicker: Nandor is totally fucking horny for people he can't control.

When you look at his love interests we've seen that he's been most into, it's always people that he cannot control. Gail, who he can never manage to rein in, who he can never quite manage to claim. She uses him casually and then she leaves, and she always has control in the relationship. Meg is a lesbian, totally uninterested in him, and he has no control over her, either. Jan is a complete power reversal, and one that Nandor seemed particularly thrilled with. She owns him and he likes it.

The point I am coming to here is that Guillermo is really starting to resemble these women that Nandor has run after -- and I think Nandor is starting to come to the realization that Guillermo is not an extension of himself, like his wives were. Guillermo is his own person. And maybe what Nandor really wants is to be the subservient one in this situation. He doesn't want Guillermo to become one of his wives; he wants Guillermo to become his husband.

Nandor wants to be Guillermo's guy wife.

We see him start to lean into this role reversal in s3-s4. Submitting to Guillermo's physical strength and leadership when they go after the Sire. Caring for him after an injury in 4.01. Going full role reversal and literally serving Guillermo in 4.05. Having Guillermo try on his groom's clothing in 4.06. Like... the man's not being subtle here.

He's still struggling with these ideas, clearly, but they're for sure there. And I think it's part of why Freddie ended up becoming such a clusterfuck. Nandor was still sort of seeing Guillermo as an extension of himself and wanted to claim all parts of him, especially the parts that Guillermo had thus far kept hidden from him. I don't think it's a coincidence that Nandor mostly just wanted to eat Freddie until the moment he realized he was there for Guillermo. Then he followed them around like a weirdo until Guillermo admitted Freddie was his boyfriend -- and then Nandor wanted him.

But as much as he was seeing Guillermo as an extension of himself, he was also seeing Freddie as an extension of Guillermo. And like Nandor's guy wife and Marwa showing interest in Guillermo and that being a direct representation of Nandor showing interest in Guillermo, Nandor going sappy over Guillermo's extension is another way that Nandor is indirectly showing his true feelings for Guillermo.

And so much of 4.09 was Nandor realizing that Guillermo wasn't his. He is not an extension of Nandor. Nandor can't have access to every part of him. He has to let Guillermo have some things that are just his. He has to relinquish control over him.

Put bluntly, 4.09 was really about Nandor having to decide whether he cared more about Guillermo being 100% his or Guillermo being happy. And I guess we know which one he chose.

I think even Guillermo understood on some level that Nandor was mostly just upset that Guillermo had a single goddamn thing that Nandor didn't have access to. That's essentially what he accused Nandor of, wasn't it? Not letting him have this one fucking thing for himself. Even he seemed to understand that Nandor's new crush was more about Guillermo than it was about Freddie -- even if I'm not sure he quite made the jump to understanding why.

So... by the end of s4, Nandor has gotten rid of his wife. She had become so much of a very literal extension of him that he was sickened by it, so he destroyed her. (RIP Marwa, you were a real one.) He had also gotten rid of the extension of Guillermo that he had claimed. And, this might be the most important part, he'd gotten rid of some of that internal idea that Guillermo was an extension of him. In letting Freddie 2 go, he was in some ways letting Guillermo go as well.

Now if only Guillermo actually wanted to be let go... :')

Up until this point, I think Guillermo also thought of himself as an extension of Nandor -- and it wasn't until their planned trip went up in flames that he was able to start conceiving of himself as his own person. He started trying to create this life outside of Nandor. And while that life was short-lived (and I don't think could ever last forever), it did give him enough independence that by the end of s4, as Nandor has given up on Guillermo being his extension, so has Guillermo.

And he decides to take the life that he now owns himself into his own two hands.

Do I think the two of them are going to be less codependent going forward? I don't think so, and honestly I certainly hope not. But I do think the shape of their relationship is definitely going to change.

Hopefully for the better...

[slasher-male-wife]

I've got a taste for men who are older: Phillip Graves x male reader

I have COD brain rot and also dilf brain rot so I'm writing this. Disclaimer I've never played cod before in my entire life and I've only read the fan fictions/ wiki pages of these characters so please don't yell at me if this is ooc for him. This is inspired by a post I saw before. I don't remember the persons @ but I do know it was kind of similar to this. I made the reader male because I want there to be more male reader fics for my blorblos. I might make this into a series if it gets popular enough.

Warnings: Younger reader (When I say younger I mean like 25 at the youngest), flirting, he/him pronouns and masculine terms used for reader

"You didn't have to drive me home Mr. Graves." You say buckling your seat belt. Phillip Graves is a friend of your boss. You first met him about six months ago and he's been over at the office often with your boss, always taking an interest in you while he's there. You can't deny that he's an attractive looking man, but dating him would make things awkward with your boss.

"I don't mind it at all Y/n. And please just call me Phillip, or Graves if you really want to."

"I just didn't want to bother you by having you drive me home is all. I could have called a cab or something else." He looks over at you and smiles a little as he starts the car.

"Well I don't want you waiting outside all alone. I just hope your boyfriend doesn't mind I'm doing this for you." Now you're smiling and looking at his rough and calloused hands.

"Well I don't have a partner. Men my age don't really interest me," He raises a brow at this and you laugh a little, "I mean men my age don't want to have a meaningful relationship. They just want friends with benefits or a one night stand. Older men are the ones who really treat you well. Older men wait until you're ready and will be romantic. Older men put in effort." He chuckles and pulls out of the parking lot.

"Well any man would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend if you ask me. And what do you mean by an older man?" You shrug and Graves puts his arm over the back of your seat to look behind him.

“I mean I’d date a man as old as 50. But that’s just me. How old are you again Graves?” His smile grows and the passing lights cast beautiful shadows against his face. 

“I’m 45. Thankfully not too old for you,” He moves his hand from behind your seat down to your knee, giving it a little squeeze. Your face at his blunt flirting and you have to look away from his blue eyes when he throws a glance your way. 

“I’m just not so sure how my boss would feel about us being together.” You start to pick at the skin around your nails. 

“Well I wouldn’t worry about Ms. Rey learning about us being interested in each other. But if she did fire you over it I wouldn’t mind taking care of you while you get back on your feet. That’s what an older man is supposed to do isn’t it?” You have to look back over at him when you feel his hand leave your knee. He’s turned his attention to you at this red light and you’re fighting the urge to kiss him right then and there. You simply nod while your face heats up, “Well if we’re on the same page I’d like to take you out for dinner next week.” The light turns green and he turns back to the road. 

“I get off work early on Friday.” You say looking back at his hands. 

“Well then I’ll pick you up at 7:30. That works for you right?” 

“It does. It’s very nice of you to take me out for dinner Phillip. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a gentleman like you.” He chuckles and puts a hand on your thigh. 

“Can’t a man just treat someone as handsome as you to a nice dinner?” Your smile only grows as you put a hand over his. 

“Of course you can. It’s just no man has ever really treated me to a nice dinner before. Like I said, most men my age just want sex, nothing romantic.” You move your hand and Graves rubs his thumb across your skin. 

“Well I’d say that what I’m going to treat you to will put those other men to shame. Because an older man really knows how to treat their date well.” He pulls up onto your driveway and parks the car. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to him fully. 

“Thank you again Phillip. I can’t wait to see you again on Friday.” 

“Of course Y/n. I look forward to that too.” You give him a kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car. When you step inside your house you have to let out a pent up laugh of excitement. You’re finally getting the man you deserve. 

[pacifymebby]

Since it’s the holidays, what would the peaky boys do if their SO knitted them a truly horrendous sweater and they have to pretend to like it so they don’t hurt her feelings

aw this is cute, I would highly encourage people to send more festive themed requests for both Peaky Blinders and Scream hehe <3

Tommy

🌿You're nervous about giving him this present because you spent so much time on it, and because you struggled to know what to get him? What do you get the wealthiest, most notorious gangster in the midlands? He can already buy himself whatever he likes...

🌿Thats why you chose something homemade... You worked for several months on this, knitting it whenever you had the opportunity to, it was something to fill the time and distract you from your nerves whenever he was away on Peaky Business

🌿And Tommy knows you're nervous, he can see it in your eyes. He also already knows what you've made for him (come on you didn't think you could keep a secret from this man?)

🌿So he's prepared. The ugliness doesn't surprise him because he's already spoilt the surprise, he found it two nights ago, before you had the opportunity to wrap it.

🌿He unwraps it carefully, he already knows exactly what he's going to say so as not to hurt your feelings. He's planned his "surprised" face in advance.

🌿"so this is what you've been doing whilst I've been away?" he chuckles giving you a warm smile. He holds it up, displays it to the rest of the family with a sheepish/knowing smile. He takes the L graciously and lets his brothers smirk

🌿but if anyone says anything rude or makes an actual joke... well, lets just say they've seen the warning in Tommy's eyes. They aren't going to say anything. In fact they're probably all going to swallow their laughs and cough and say something about how lovely it is.

🌿Tommy would kiss you on the cheek and thank you again, he'd probably say something about how thoughtful you are. He's actually very touched that you would go to all that effort to make something for him. It kind of makes him nostalgic for when he was a child and his mother used to knit them jumpers.

🌿 he's not exactly sure why you've done it though, it's not like you live on artillery square these days.. you could have bought anything with all the money the two of you have.

🌿still, he will wear it, inside the house, only in front of the family. And, he's already warned his brothers that if they tell anyone about the sweater, they're for it.

Alfie

🐻 Alfie finds it amusing, he unwraps the jumper and holds it up in front of his face and chuckles.

🐻 "You were feeling artistic this year my little ziskeit... well now ain't that just adorable... yeah thats what this is, fuckin adorable poppet..."

🐻 He's go on a long little speech about how beautiful it, admiring the craftsmanship, he'd ask you about the details of it, "what made you pick this colour... and why did you choose that pattern?"

🐻 He would wear it for the day, as long as it was just you and him.

🐻 Because he doesn't celebrate Christmas, he'd be at your house with your family, so of course he's going to wear it and compliment it, he doesn't want to look like a bad partner.

🐻 And if any of your family members, say you had an annoying little brother, said it was ugly or that it was a stupid gift, Alfie would stand up for you.

🐻 "Nah mate, what we have here right, what this gorgeous specimen of wool-work right here is, is a gift from the heart... and you know the thing about gifts yeah, gifts should always come from the heart."

🐻 He might also mutter something about them being a little shit. You may or may not get to hear that part.

🐻 He'd keep it safe for the next year and surprise you on Christmas morning by wearing it, "Alfie! I honestly thought you hated that thing!" "What this? Nah poppet, how could I hate something you put so much time and thought into...."

Arthur

🍂"what the fuck..." he'd breath without thinking when he first sees it. He'd be completely taken by surprise.

🍂but then he'd remember that you were right there with him and that even if this was the ugliest thing he'd ever seen, you'd made it for him

🍂so he'd cough and say something like, "I... I mean... you make this for me yourself love?" and then when you nod timidly, nervously, he'd force a big grin and act amazed.

🍂"I didn't realise how talented you were sweetheart, how'd you keep this secret eh?" he wants to know so that next time you try to surprise him with something so ugly, he can be prepared.

🍂 He would definitely wear it. He'd be embarrassed and it would be impossible for him to hide that embarrassment, his blush would be burning, but he'd wear it and he'd try to wear it proudly.

🍂 Like Tommy, it would remind him of when he was a child and his mother used to make their clothes for them. He knows it takes a lot of love and care to knit a whole jumper for someone and he'd grateful that you love him enough to invest so much time into his gift.

🍂 he probably then feels a little guilty for thinking its so ugly.

🍂 he might physically threaten Finn or John if they make a joke about how daft it looks.

John

🌼 will straight up tell you its the ugliest thing he's ever seen... he can't lie to you about it, he knows that if he doesn't say it someone else will, and also.... it may be ugly but he absolutely adores it.

🌼 in short he thinks its hilarious and pulls it on right away.

🌼 however, only he is allowed to laugh at it. If any of his brothers say anything to him about how stupid he looks wearing that "thing" he'll threaten to hit them

🌼 but there's no fighting on Christmas so a threat is all it takes. Nobody wants throttling at midnight when its technically not Christmas anymore.

🌼 he'd apologise to you for saying its ugly but he won't take it back, he'll kiss you and chuckle and say "honestly flower its so bad, I love it, I love you... thank you."

🌼 he will definitely tease you about it. "What am I getting next year? matching trousers I hope..."

🌼 he will be genuinely impressed that you managed to knit him a whole sweater thought, there will be a level of admiration and curiosity there. Next time you have your needles out he'll be watching you, trying to pretend he isn't watching you... but definitely watching you, kind of fascinated.

🌼 he'll joke that you should knit one for yourself too, then you can be matching.

Bonnie

🍀 He is so touched that you've gone to all the effort to make him something. You always give each other handmade gifts but he knows how long this will have taken you

🍀 he's pretty used to ugly sweaters... he's been getting them since he was wee, but he's really touched that you've made him one.

🍀 It definitely reminds him of his mother and the ugly handmedown sweaters he wore as a small boy, all of which had been made for his sisters by his mother, none of which suited him

🍀 He doesn't even really see it as ugly. It is ugly, everyone else can see that its fucking awful, a horrendous piece of clothing.. but Bonnie sees a sweater you knitted for him, that his little dove made just for him... so he thinks its great regardless.

🍀 of course he wears it. He wears it proudly too, tells people without any shame that you made it for him. He's genuinely incredibly pleased with it.

🍀 he will wear it every day of winter if he can get away with it.

🍀and if any of the other lads say anything to him he'll just gloat at them, "oh aye and what did your girlfriend get you eh? oh wait..."

🍀 the next year he'd try really really hard to learn how to knit so that he can make you something. You get an ugly scarf... thats a bit too long... that you have to finish off for him because he didn't really know how to do it.

Isaiah

🐀 again... he won't really be able to lie to you. Not very well at least.

🐀 he'll tell you it's lovely, but you'll be able to see straight through his awkward smile. Apart from anything else this is one of the first times you've seen him speechless. His eyes have gone wide and he's looking at the sweater like he thinks its about to bite him

🐀 "you don't have to pretend to like it Isaiah... It's pretty bad right..." you'd say with an awkward smile of your own. He'd be able to see the sadness in your eyes though, the way you're wincing and biting your lip. That would make him feel guilty so he'd shake his head and insist.

🐀 "no love, no it's perfect... you really made this all by yourself? Just for me? It must have taken you so long!" he'd try extra hard to convince you of how good it is. "Wish I could do stuff like this... you're one talented lass."

🐀 he'd wear it for five minutes. Long enough to see himself in the mirror, remember how stupid he looks in it, and then think of a genius idea.

🐀 "you know doll, you know what would look really nice? If you wore this? Come on, you know I think it's hot when you wear my clothes..."

🐀 and it does look much cuter on you... he thinks you're pretty enough to get away with wearing it. Nothing is too ugly for you, you look beautiful in everything.

🐀 makes it much easier to lie about how nice the sweater is when it's on someone as pretty as you.

Michael

☘️ He would look at it... his eyes would go wide... he'd shake his head...

☘️ he would sigh, really really trying not to say anything bad.

☘️ "well?" you'd ask nervously.

☘️ Polly would be watching with an amused smirk, but when he son still doesn't say anything she'd roll her eyes and she'd say something instead, "well isn't that just lovely Michael a homemade sweater! This looks just like the ones My sister used to knit for the boys when they were little..."

☘️ then Michael would finally find some words and cough, he'd be super awkward about it but he'd say something about how nice it was that you'd been so thoughtful

☘️ he doesn't get it though, he doesn't understand about homemade gifts being meaningful. He's a materialistic kind of lad and does wish you'd just bought him something nice from the stores.

☘️ however, he knows that if he doesn't out that sweater on and pretend its the best gift he's ever been given, Polly will twist his ear off and potentially kill him for being such an ungrateful shit.

☘️ so he'd force a smile and kiss your cheek and tell you "its marvellous love, its great, really great..." and when you ask him to try it on he will. But he won't wear it in front of Tommy and his other cousins. Actually he won't be seen wearing it by any one other than you and his mum.

☘️ he might lose it before the New Year.

[chaoticliterarystudying]

📮 what i learnt in first semester of my master's degree in english literature 📮

friendo, here is what you need to remember for the upcoming months! (also this is applicable to literally any degree you're doing, ive just written it down recently)

put in work. put a lot of effort from your side and it'll be worth it. it'll show, I promise

ask for feedback!!!! ASK FOR FEEDBACK!! it's OK if the profs tear you part (they generally won't!) but keep asking: what could I have done better?

do more grunt work in the beginning: summaries, about the authors, about the eras — it'll save you a lot of time

write practice or mock tests and study using previous year question papers too. write the answers down.

buy/borrow/print all the books you need. ALL OF THEM!!

doing is the most difficult part. the act of actually studying and reading and writing is the most difficult part

but it'll also be the most fun part!

there are 2 kinds of uncomfortable: painful and non-painful. always choose the non-painful uncomfortable option!

when studying historical background, have some examples from the books of that Era as "proof"

doing my best = working towards retaining whatever you need to for how much ever long you need to (I.e for the exam) (didi gave me this definition and im so relieved)

it's not smart work OR hard work, it's smart work AND hard work

these are also things I struggled with. I struggled to define what im having trouble doing (point 6), what is "doing my best" (point 10), if all my studying/reading of books was me being a dumbass who doesn't know smart work (points 1 and 11)

I've literally copy-posted these from my notes because I thought this might help someone out? if nothing, here's my contribution to the studyblr lol

[marshallpupfan]

Going Back to my Rubble & Crew Theory...

Back in December of 2022, I wrote up a theory based on how Rubble's backstory might link up with his yet-to-air-at-the-time spinoff, "Rubble & Crew". If you like, you can click here and check it out. If not, here's a recap of what I said.

Rubble's family had a big, big job. They were incredibly distracted and inadvertently became neglectful of their youngest, Rubble.

Due to his age, Rubble wasn't allowed to help. He didn't get why everyone was gone so often, thought no one loved him anymore, believed himself to be on his own, and ran away.

Months pass. His family can't find him and later accept he might be gone for good... but deep down, they never gave up hope.

Rubble encounters Chase, Marshall and Ryder. Rubble impresses Ryder during a mission and later joins the PAW Patrol.

A year later, Rubble's made a name for himself in Adventure Bay, but nobody thinks to look for him in such a small town.

The events of the first theatrical film happen. After being involved in a big rescue in a big city, Rubble & the other pups end up on the news and are regarded as heroes. This news broadcast is seen all over the country.

Rubble's family sees this broadcasts and finally discover their little Rubble's alive, well, and has grown to become an experienced construction pup.

They quickly head to Adventure Bay to meet up with Rubble. Many hugs and tears soon follow.

The family apologizes for neglecting him, but Rubble also apologizes to them, realizing now the burden they had and why they were gone so much.

The family wants him to come back with them, but Rubble says he has a new family now and they all love him, thus he doesn't know what to do.

Conveniently, they have a new job in an upcoming town called "Builder Cove", which just-so-happens to neighbor Adventure Bay. He doesn't have to pick which family to stay with now!

Keep in mind, I wrote this before knowing that much about Rubble & Crew or even how things might continue in the next theatrical film, "The Mighty Movie". All any of us knew was A) Rubble now has a big family, and B) "Builder Cove" is new and will neighbor Adventure Bay. I took a pure guess based on these two details.

I thought it'd be fun to go back and see just how the spinoff connected with Rubble's backstory, as well as just how much of it I got right! Here's a list of what they did...

Rubble suddenly has a big family because Spin Master said so.

All that stuff about Rubble being alone and not having a family? Well, never mind that.

Look, just pretend "Pups Get a Rubble" doesn't exist, even though it still airs on TV and can be found on Paramount+.

And there you go! I was....... 0% correct! :D

...no, really. I'm not trying to be cynical. That's honestly it.

While I haven't seen much of Rubble & Crew (I've seen exactly two episodes, and only because Marshall and Chase were in them), I have heard others talk about them. And yeah, going by what they've said, they really did just flat-out ignore Rubble's backstory. Out of lazy convenience, I imagine. That's a shame, if you ask me. To think, I put in way more effort than anyone at Spin Master.

Viewers, and that includes older fans, love these characters. You want them to have some meaning behind them, and backstories often accomplish this. However, they lose that meaning when the very studios behind their creation disregards these details whenever they feel like it. You all know I'd love to learn about Marshall's history, but I want it to matter and not just be something that pops up for a single plot of a movie, never to be references again... or simply tossed aside when it becomes inconvenient to a writer. I feel like these characters deserve better than that.

Well, what can I say? Hey, that Rubble & Crew episode involving Marshall was pretty cool. Wait, what does this have to do with this post? I don't know... but have a cute pic from that episode, anyway.