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#i might do a part 2 to this?
katelynnwrites · 9 months
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Think I Forgot How To Be Happy, Something I’m Not (But Something I Can Be) | Felicitas Rauch
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warnings: reader’s prior messy break up
word count: 3642
summary: you leave north london broken but maybe in germany, you’ll meet someone who helps you to heal, part two can be found here
a/n: requested, some fluff for my fellow germany fans. also my brain kinda went off on it’s own tangent here so this is what it is 🥺😂
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Germany is not somewhere you thought you would ever live in. Yet here you are, in your new and empty apartment, having signed for Wolfsburg.
Arsenal had been your home for as long as you could remember and you had never planned on leaving your childhood club.
You were happy there. Until you made the stupid decision to date a teammate.
That’s where it had all gone wrong for you.
The way your relationship had ended, you wouldn’t wish that on anyone. The initial dismissal and pulling away by your ex had left you with trust issues.
The inevitable break up led to you falling out of love with North London. All the little corners and places in the city that you had once loved so much and therefore shared with your ex were now tainted with painful, sour memories.
So encouraged by your Arsenal teammates who have had a front row seat to the way your relationship had fallen apart, you had left the only home you had ever known for Wolfsburg.
******
You arrive in Wolfsburg to Jill’s open arms, the former Arsenal player having been instructed to look out for you.
She picks you up at the airport and brings you to the apartment where you would be staying.
The Dutch woman offers to stay and help you unpack but you give her a small smile and tell her you would be fine on your own.
You don’t want to say it but you need a moment alone, to process this enormous decision that you had made.
Jill understands and leaves but promises to be back so that you can carpool with her to your first training session with the German club.
Alone in your apartment, surrounded by cardboard boxes, you sigh and sit down to think.
******
Jill introduces you to your new teammates. They’re all welcoming, friendly and nice, excited to meet their new English teammate.
You’d remember a few of them, from international friendlies.
Lena Oberdorf especially because she had almost taken your ankle out with a solid tackle.
She rushes to greet you first, saying she is so glad to meet you and worrying if you hold any hard feelings towards her.
You didn’t and you tell her as much, giving her a warm smile.
Svenja Huth is next, taking her duties as captain very seriously and wanting to make sure you are fitting in okay.
The following faces you meet kind of blur together, unfamiliar German accents being the only thing you catch.
Until a brunette steps forward, meaning to introduce herself only for a blonde to interrupt her loudly, ‘I’m Jule and this is Felicitas.’
‘Don’t call me that.’ She mumbles, making Jule giggle.
‘Ignore her please. I’m Feli and it’s really nice to meet you.’
You laugh and shake her hand.
Feli smiles and you give her one in return.
******
As lovely as your new teammates are, you’re still not letting them in and keeping your guard up.
It bothers them, when you make excuses to miss team meals and leave team bondings early.
You play well with them on the field, connecting easily and creating goal scoring opportunities. Your talent is not something that was ever in doubt but now it shines through. The German style of play suits you.
But your distance concerns them enough that they ask Jill, the only one who you seem willing to open up to about why you seem so closed off and sad.
Jill tells them about your messy break up and how much it had hurt you.
She doesn’t share enough to violate your privacy but what she said had been enough.
Your Wolfsburg teammates are kinder to you after that, patiently waiting for you to let them in.
Especially Feli who is particularly enamored with you. With your English accent and smile.
The German has been trying to keep her growing feelings for you under wraps but it’s been getting harder for her to do so.
She loves spending time with you, adores the way your eyes light up when you find something funny.
When she finds out you’re a dog person, she brings her dog to training.
Feli watches as you laugh, letting her poodle lick your hand. Her heart skips a beat when you look up at her, a big grin on your face.
The sound of your laughter gives her a warm feeling inside, so much so that she’s smiling like a fool.
Jill leans against the wall with her and quietly says, ‘Well done. This is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen her since she got here.’
‘I just want her to be happy.’ Feli murmurs, shrugging lightly.
In that moment, Jill realises exactly how smitten her teammate is.
******
You weren’t blind. You know that your teammates know what is up with you.
But slowly and surely, their patience and kindness begins to pay off.
Feli is a big part of that.
The German player had caught onto how much you love her dog and had repeatedly invited you to a park not far from the training grounds.
At first you had made your usual excuses but Felicitas had been gentle but persistent in her asking, so much so that you had acquiescenced.
In the time you spend with Feli and Cinnamon, you get to know them both.
Cinnamon loves getting the spot behind her ears scratched and Feli loves her coffee.
As you grow more and more familiar with a certain German, you find yourself developing feelings for her.
Eventually it gets to the point where you wake up one morning, on an off day and catch yourself excitedly getting ready to see her at the park.
You don’t go that day.
You ignore all her subsequent texts and calls.
They are anxious and worried at first but soon get even more frantic.
You hide under your blankets and keep your phone far away from you.
So great is the pain in your heart and so heavy are the thoughts in your head that you forget that you gave Jill a spare key when you moved in.
The depth of Feli’s feelings for you are not to be underestimated because soon enough, she’s there with Jill.
Jill who takes one look at you in your room and quietly sits down beside you on the bed, where you’re curled up.
‘Schat, I know that you’re scared of what you might feel for Feli but for what it’s worth, I believe that she couldn’t be more different than your ex.’
The Dutch woman waits a moment and upon not getting any response, sighs.
‘She was so worried you know. Feli practically begged me to come here and check on you.’
‘Was she?’ You softly ask, tearing up slightly as Jill talks about the German woman who has found her way in your heart despite your best efforts to keep her out.
‘She still is. I couldn’t convince her to go back to her apartment so she’s here. I managed to get her to wait in your living room till I spoke with you.’
‘She’s here?’
You panic and stand up, rushing to pull your bedroom door open.
Felicitas freezes, she’d been pacing you think.
Cinnamon barks happily and runs up to you. The brown poodle gets an absentminded pet from you before you straighten back up.
You keep staring at Feli and barely notice Jill leaving the apartment after saying that she’d give the two of you a moment.
‘Hi.’ Feli softly says.
‘Felicitas.’
‘You’re the only one who I don’t mind calling me that you know? Well, other than my parents.’ The brunette gives a tiny laugh before she takes a step towards you.
‘You mean a lot to me. The way I feel about you isn’t a secret.’
The sharp inhale that escapes you is loud. You didn’t know that your feelings were returned and the anxiety her confession causes must be clear on your face.
Feli’s eyes widen and she quickly says, ‘I know someone hurt you badly and I want you to know that I would never do that. I really care for you and I'd just like you to know that if you ever want to let me in, I'll be here. You don’t have to feel the way I feel but I'm here. I'm always going to be here for you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise.’
‘You promise?’
The way your voice wavers makes your unsurety apparent.
It’s why Feli doesn’t hesitate to answer with certainty, ‘I promise.’
You stay silent, trying to see if she really means it.
After a moment, you decide she does. You trust that she does.
‘Okay. D-Do you still want to go to our park now?’
It’s a tiny nervous step from you but a step nonetheless.
‘Of course.’ Feli is quick to agree, a wide smile on her face.
The fact that you had referred to the park as yours and hers, gives her butterflies in her stomach.
******
You join your teammates for lunch.
If Feli had to bring Cinnamon and sit beside you for the whole meal, she didn’t care.
Neither did your teammates who are over the moon that you are finally comfortable enough to start letting them in.
They don’t explicitly say anything to you but the way they grin and hug you, shows you that they care.
The meal is lighthearted and fun, situated at a pet friendly restaurant, to accomodate Cinnamon.
By the end of it, you have decided that getting to know your teammates outside of training wouldn’t be so bad.
Especially if Feli was going to hold your hand every time she thought you were anxious.
******
You begin going over to Feli’s apartment.
She convinced you to come over one day, after playing fetch with Cinnamon, saying that she’d like to introduce you to proper homemade German food.
You’d hesitated but she had looked at you so pleadingly you could not say no.
So you said yes.
And that is how the twice a week dinners started because the food that Felicitas makes is just so good.
You might even say that it makes you fall a little harder for her.
Feli tries to teach you how to cook but it doesn’t really work out. It’s almost laughable really, how hard the both of you try, you to cook and her to teach you.
Eventually the two of you just resign yourselves to the fact that it wouldn’t work and settle into a new routine.
One where you go shopping for groceries together and cook together in Feli’s apartment.
A routine where you insist on paying for the groceries since she cooks and where you sit on the counter, sneaking pieces of food to Cinny as you watch her cook.
******
As the months pass by in Germany, you make sure to keep in contact with your old Arsenal teammates.
Your English teammates you still see at camp but you miss your other teammates.
Especially Lia who you have always been particularly close to.
Lia who you call one night, to have her answer your video call with a knowing smile.
‘Lia?’ You nervously question.
‘You’re falling in love.’
‘What? Lia no.’
‘I was watching the game today. I saw you run to a certain Felicitas Rauch as soon as she went down. You were the first one by her side.’
‘I care a lot about all my teammates. I’d do the same for you.’
Lia doesn’t just laugh, she giggles.
‘Yes but you wouldn’t be smoothing sweaty hair off my face or helping me sit up. Or holding my hand as you walk me back to my position.’
You frown, remembering the moment from earlier.
Feli had been tackled and had gone down holding her ankle. She had not got back up, so you had sprinted right over.
Upon hearing her pained gasps, you had immediately tried to soothe her pain as best as you could.
It hadn’t occurred to you that it would be broadcasted on live television.
You had just been so focused on Feli and the fact that she had been hurting. Everything else was unimportant then.
The way Felicitas had gratefully held your hand as the medics checked out her ankle, it assured you that you had made the right decision.
Lia’s new fit of giggles brings you out of your thoughts.
‘I’d hold your hand and walk you back to your position if you wanted.’ You grumble.
The Swiss woman laughs once more before looking at you seriously.
‘I’m so glad you’re healing. It wasn’t easy to see how broken you were before.’
‘Feli’s been…’
You trail off, not knowing how to explain exactly how kind, patient and warm the defender has been to you.
Lia nods, ‘I know Feli and I know you. I also know that you’ll be good for each other.’
‘I don’t know Lia. I’m just so scared. Feli means so much to me and she’s been incredibly sweet but there’s always the chance that this all goes wrong. I love Germany and I feel at home here now. I don’t want to lose that again.’
Your former teammate nods once more, understanding your fears.
But then she asks something you should have asked yourself a long time ago.
‘Why does Germany feel like home?’
The answer is one you know deep down. Germany only feels like home because of Felicitas.
******
You curl into Feli’s body, your palm resting on her stomach.
She shifts, allowing you to get more comfortable.
‘Thanks.’ You whisper, so as to not disturb the rest of your teammates during the movie screening and she presses a kiss onto your hair in response.
You don’t stop her when she presses a second and then a third affectionately.
If anything, you relax even further into her.
With her so close, you can hear and feel the way her breath stutters every time the movie picks up.
It seems that Feli scares easily and you find that adorable.
******
Twice a week dinners at Feli’s apartment become a nightly occurrence.
One evening when it’s her turn to host team bonding, you answer the door.
Jill smirks.
You roll your eyes.
She catches you alone, in Feli’s kitchen later on.
‘Whatever you two are, it’s not just friends.’
‘I know.’ You say softly and despite Jill’s excited follow up and slightly invasive questions, you don’t say anything else.
******
Despite how close you and Feli are, she’s not your bus buddy.
Your bus buddy is Jill and hers is Kathy.
Today though, Felicitas is having a hard time.
It didn’t matter that Wolfsburg had won the game. By her high standards, she had played an awful game and she’s just so tired. She is exhausted and furious at herself.
All she wants is to go back to her apartment and sleep. And maybe cuddle with Cinnamon a bit.
Feli is so out of it that she doesn’t notice Jill nudging you and not too quietly murmuring, ‘Go to her.’
Kathy switches with you easily once she sees you coming towards her.
It doesn’t occur to Feli that you have noticed her change in behaviour and would want to check in on her.
So when you slide into the seat beside her and reach out to hold her hand, she jumps with surprise.
‘I got you.’ You promise and guide her to lean against your shoulder.
Felicitas does so with a breath of relief.
When you carefully kiss her cheek and pull her even closer, Feli thinks that everything is going to be okay.
******
You’re more affectionate with her than ever and Feli loves it.
She loves how comfortable you are around her now, from holding her hand on team walks to cuddling with her on her couch.
Now, having traveled back to North London, for the Champions League, Feli is especially glad you’re letting your walls down.
She knows it would be hard for you to be back in your old home so she wants to be there for you, as best as she can.
Svenja had given out the room assignments and you had eagerly pressed a kiss onto Feli’s cheek when you found out she would be with you.
‘Hi roomie.’ You’d teased and she had held out her hand to you.
‘Hello.’ Feli murmurs, smiling when you take her hand.
As she follows you into the elevator, she makes a mental note to thank her captain.
******
You’re so excited to be back in North London. You’ve missed the city and your friends.
You’re even more excited to take Felicitas to your favourite cafe.
She loves coffee more than anyone you have ever known and you hope that she likes the coffee there.
Unfortunately that has to wait till after the game. You will have a chance to do that tomorrow, before you fly back to Germany.
First you have to play and hopefully win against your former team.
But for now, you’re content to watch Feli get ready for bed.
Felicitas who looks so cute with her glasses on.
So you tell her that and she blushes, making you laugh.
******
Feli squeezes your hand in hers as you line up in the tunnel. The Arsenal players aren’t here yet so the defender takes a moment to check on you.
‘You okay?’ She asks and you nod, wrapping your arms around her waist and burying your face into her neck.
You take a deep breath in and Felicitas rubs your back soothingly.
She smells nice and you allow her to calm you down.
Feli places a brief kiss onto your forehead and then steps back as the Arsenal players join your team in the tunnel.
‘Lia!’
The Swiss player hugs you immediately. Lia’s eyes meet Feli’s and she mouths, ‘Thank you.’
******
Your game ends as a draw.
As you go around shaking hands and sharing hugs with your former teammates, there’s a lot of laughter.
But when you’ve made your rounds, you’re back at Feli’s side, slipping your hand into hers as she walks back towards the tunnel.
Feli looks at you in surprise.
‘Don’t you want to spend time with your old teammates?’
‘I have.’ You answer but Felicitas squeezes your hand.
‘Don’t you want to spend more time with them?’
‘Nope. I want to spend time with you now.’
‘Oh.’ Felicitas’ cheeks turn a bright pink and she brings your joined hands up to her lips so that she can kiss the back of your palm.
If Lia or your ex sees the short moment, they don’t say anything.
If your ex-girlfriend glances at Lia, the Swiss woman’s only response is to shrug as if to say, ‘You’ve lost her.’
******
‘To go or having here?’ The barista asks.
Feli eyes you in question and you say, ‘To go please.’
As you wait for your coffees to be ready, you explain, ‘There’s somewhere I want you to see. It meant a lot to me when I was growing up here.’
Felicitas simply holds your hand and smiles at you reassuringly in answer.
When you leave the cafe, she deposits your joined hands in her jacket pocket for warmth. In doing so, she catches the expression of complete adoration on your face and feels the familiar butterflies in her stomach flutter around.
‘How’s your coffee?’ You ask, as you lead her down the street.
Feli grins, ‘It’s good. I understand why this is your favourite coffee.’
‘It isn’t anymore.’ You whisper.
‘It isn’t?’
‘Yours is.’
Felicitas visibly tries and fails to fight back her smile.
‘It’s the cinnamon I put inside isn’t it? I told you it would grow on you.’
‘You were right.’ You admit and Feli laughs. Her thumb brushes over the back of your hand and you duck your head to hide the way your cheeks burn.
‘Come on. We’re almost there.’
‘Okay.’ Feli murmurs.
******
It’s only a short walk from there and it’s spent in comfortable silence.
When you reach a small side street, you gently tug Felicitas with you, into a park just beside it.
‘It’s beautiful here.’ Feli quietly says.
‘It is. But you should see it in the summer. There’s so many flowers then.’
You and Feli sit down beside each other on the bench. You rest your head on her shoulder and Felicitas exhales.
She finishes her cup of coffee and then sets it aside.
‘Why’d you bring me here? Not that I don’t want to spend time with you but why?’
Sitting up properly, you look at Feli for a long moment.
Her eyes are so pretty you think.
Gingerly, you reach out to trace the contours of her jaw. Felicitas melts, leaning into your touch.
Very very slowly, you begin to close the gap.
Feli catches on immediately and she gently stops you.
Your eyes widen with hurt and you pull away, making the German player rush to stop you.
‘Liebling I want this. I really really do. I just need to make sure that it’s what you want too.’ She softly says.
‘Felicitas…’
Feli tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It’s an infinitely sweet gesture that has your breath catching.
‘You met your ex-girlfriend last night and I know you’re saying you’re okay but that couldn’t possibly have been easy for you.’
‘It wasn’t. But I am okay Felicitas.’
‘But you-’
‘Feli I don’t care about her. I care about you!’
Felicitas stares at you wordlessly.
‘I never brought her here, I’ve never brought anyone here except for you. This is the park where I first learnt to play football.
Your voice is barely audible when you say, ‘It means the world to me and so do you Felicitas.’
This time, when you try to kiss her, Feli doesn’t stop you. She meets you halfway instead.
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Dutch Translation:
schat - darling
German Translation:
liebling - love
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soldrawss · 1 year
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*holds face tenderly*
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dadstielkline · 2 years
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fun facts about sharks
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welcometogrouchland · 1 month
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#(it's me they should hire me. please DC i have ideas listen to my red hood pitch PLEASE-)
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jventureart · 12 days
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Pt. 1 of 2
Transcript under cut
Pakkun: what's the situation, boss
Kks: well-
Bisuke: HEY, GAIS HERE
Ninken, greeting gai!
Gai: (laughing) Hi, boys!
Pakkun: you should have seen this coming, kid
Kks: yeah yeah
Gai laughing
Pakkun: Hey, gai
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hawkinsbnbg · 3 days
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Steve had died in that interrogation room under Starcourt and now, he was stuck haunting Robin Buckley who might as well be his shortest heartbreak and long-lost twin.
The problem was she couldn't see or touch him.
No, she could hear him just fine, but physical contact was just impossible.
Steve, however, didn't care much so long as he had someone there to listen to his daily monologues. It was fun.
They bickered most of the time and while Robin always seemed sad that she couldn't hug him whenever he told her about his parents or how lonely he used to be before her, Steve was just happy with what he got.
Because even in death, he wasn't alone, and that was enough of a gift to him.
Then, the day his funeral was held, Steve was thankful that he had convinced Robin to attend considering it was how he reunited with the kids.
They all saw him.
A thing that Steve would never take for granted.
Robin didn't know what to do when they flocked around her and bombarded her with question after question, demanding to know why she was the one who got the privilege of being haunted by Steve.
"A privilege?" Robin burst into a laugh, giving them a ridiculous look.
"Of course, to think you've been haunted and actually having real conversations with a ghost every day is a revolutionary step into the spiritual science field," Dustin narrowed his eyes. "And I am very disappointed in you, Ms. Robin Buckley, for not telling me right away!"
"Just say you're jealous that Steve doesn't haunt you." Max rolled her eyes.
"You say it as if you're not jealous yourself!" Mike scowled at her.
"No, I'm not, you delusional nerd!" Max scowled back.
"Hey!"
"C'mon guys, don't fight," Lucas frowned and sighed in exasperation.
Noticing the odd looks from other people at the cemetery, Robin herded the kids into Steve's car that he had given her as a keepsake.
Once they were safely away from prying eyes, Robin clapped her hands to gather everyone's attention.
"Children!" She then continued under their curious gazes. "Steve-o here said he really appreciates that you munchkins care so much about him. But sadly, he can't leave my side. Like literally can't so if any of you want to see him, you can always seek me out whenever you see fit."
"Why are you saying all of this?" Mike squinted at her.
"Because Steve can't talk to us, obviously." Dustin responded haughtily, earning an eye roll from the other boy.
"Bingo!" Robin did a fist bump with Dustin.
Then, she held up a finger at them. "And before you ask, I can't see him. Or touch him."
She watched the kids look at the passenger seat before nodding at her.
It must be Steve who confirmed the truth, she thought.
As they went back to discussing Steve's incorporeal state, Robin had a feeling that she had unknowingly adopted a gaggle of troublesome ducklings who were going to give her grey hair very very soon.
"C'mon Robbie, it's a Halloween party," Steve begged. "Let's go have some fun! Don't your heart ache to watch your bestest friend rotting in sorrow while eating pumpkins?"
"First of all, I've never ever met anyone who uses 'heart' and 'ache' like that," Robin blew at her freshly painted nails.
"Well, now I'm your first. Didn't people always say special always come late?"
"I don't even want to correct you on all of that," Robin huffed quietly at Steve's goofy chuckle. "And no, Dingus, you don't eat pumpkins. Or if you do, I don't care."
"Please, Robbie, I just wanna have fun," Steve sighed dolefully. "It's been a long time ago since I went to a party." He sighed again and even sniffled a little.
When Robin groaned, a big grin stretched on his lips.
"Just this time." She narrowed her eyes at him, or precisely speaking, at the spot where she assumed he was sitting.
Sometimes, when she made a wrong guess, Steve would just move over to where her gaze stopped and continue talking her ears off.
"I promise you're gonna have so much fun, Robbie." Steve ruffled her hair even if his hand always passed right through her. It was still one of his hard-to-get-rid-of habits anyway.
By the time they arrived, the party was already full-blown and swarmed with people.
As Robin struggled her way through the crowd, Steve just walked beside her with barely any difficulties.
He bet she would curse him so much if she saw how comfortable he looked right now.
But then, his little moment of joy was cut short when he bumped into someone whose lips literally knocked against his.
As cliché as it might sound, he certainly felt the electricity running through his body from that single accidental kiss.
And belatedly, a realization dawned on him.
He had bumped right into someone.
He, a ghost, had bodily collided with a living human.
Shocked, Steve stepped back and was at a loss for what to do next.
Then, a shaky voice shook him out of his trance.
"Harrington?"
Staring into those scared Bambi's eyes, Steve clenched his jaw and forced himself to not panic.
"Munson."
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amielot · 8 months
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They head back to the barn when the rain lets up.
@arialerendeair def gave inspo for this one hehe
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puppyeared · 11 months
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Dear Wormwood PART 1
(slight tw for bright color at the end)
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lovesickeros · 5 months
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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screebyy · 2 months
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Part 3 wheeeee :)))))
and FYI Night of Ascents is referencing the Awoken's celebration on the anniversary of the day they left the Distributary, which was revealed in the Hiera Hodos lore tab that was released w/ this past dawning :)))
Prev | Next Part 1
Panel 1: In the dreaming city, Jolyon is leaning back casually against a white stone wall covered with green vines with pink flowers. His arms are crossed and he is looking down, lost in thought. Crow is walking around a corner towards him, up a rocky path with blue gemstones embedded in natural rock formations. It is almost dusk, and the setting sun is casting soft golden light and deep blue shadows on the scene. Crow: “Jolyon, hi…” Jolyon: “Hey.” Crow: “You wanted to talk?
Panel 2: Close up of Jolyon’s face. He turns his head towards the camera, to glance at Crow from the corner of his eyes. He looks sad and a little uneasy, like looking at Crow is painful for him. Jolyon: “...”
Panel 3: Jolyon turns his head away, looking off into the distance. His expression is not visible. Jolyon: “I used to live out here. When we first came to Sol.”
Panel 4: The landscape Jolyon is looking out at, split into two panels. On the left is the present day in the Dreaming city - the sun is setting behind a ridge, and a white set of stairs is visible winding up the mountainside. There is a white statue embedded in the rock, and there are trees and grass growing along the sides of the staircase. On the right, is the same ridge in the distant past, before the Dreaming City was created - the rocks are barren and desolate, and there is a crashed metal ship painted with red stripes that has long since been abandoned on the mountainside. The windows of the ship are glowing with light from inside. The silhouette of a tall person is inside the ship, opening a sliding hatch on the side of the ship to greet another, shorter person standing outside. Jolyon: “In the hull of an old cargo ship, just under that ridge.”
Panel 5: In present day, Jolyon is still leaning against the wall. He looks down and away from Crow, who is staring out at the landscape. Jolyon: “Before Mara and Riven reshaped everything.” Crow: “I remember...”
Panel 6: Close up of Jolyon’s face in profile. He is staring down at the ground, and looks distant. Jolyon: “...”
Panel 7: Jolyon looks back at Crow with a determined and slightly wary expression. Crow looks back at Jolyon, though his expression is not visible. Jolyon: “You told me about the Dawning. You remember what we celebrate here?” Crow: “Yeah…”
Panel 8: Close up of Jolyon from over his shoulder, as he looks at Crow. His face is not visible. Crow (offscreen): “The Night of Ascents.”
Panel 9: Jolyon turns back towards the ridge, looking up at it with a grave expression on his face. Crow looks away from him, glancing back up at the mountainside with a sad, distant Jolyon: “Do you remember coming here? The first one?” Crow: “...”
Panel 10: Close up of Jolyon, centered around his shoulder. Only the bottom half of his face is visible, and his expression is unreadable - he is still looking forward, out at the ridge instead of at Crow. Crow (offscreen): “I remember.”
Panel 11: Jolyon pushes himself up off the wall, and turns towards Crow. Jolyon: “Technically, it isn’t for a few more weeks, but….”
Panel 12: Close up of Jolyon, staring straight at the viewer. There is still a pained, sad expression in his eyes, though he looks like he’s trying to hide it. Jolyon: “Will you walk with me tonight?”
Panel 13: Close up of Crow, who looks surprised by the request. Crow: “Y-… Yeah.”
Panel 14: Wide shot of Jolyon and Crow climbing the white stone staircase that leads up the mountainside. Jolyon is a step ahead of Crow. Crow: “Of course.”
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intotheelliwoods · 3 months
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-> -> Guess whos AU is turning a year old on February 17th!
The time when the update will be posted is not specified since it will all be dependent on my work schedule, however I will try and let you all know when it is being posted in advance if I end up posting it very late in the day!
(I am in MST)
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thats-godscomma · 7 months
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Psych Characters as WordArt Memes
Shawn
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Gus
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Juliet
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Carlton
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Henry
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Karen
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Buzz
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Woody
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Pierre
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Yang
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romanticatheartt · 28 days
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I see people love to mention "tHe giRl wHO neVeR gOt tO cHOoSe" x "tHe bOy wHo neVeR gOt chOsEn" thing so let me do a few ones better :)
how about:
"The girl who's taking the fact that she's now a fae the hardest to the point she's still trying to get back to her human self" x "The boy who said he'll never set foot to the human realm but now he's been residing there with two other humans for the past couple of years"
"The girl who reside in a place that suck the life out of her" x "The boy who hasn't found his true home yet"
"The girl who loves to travel the continent" x "The boy who's constantly traveling and been in different places"
"The girl who was the favorite daughter of their father, who she loved dearly" x "The boy who was constantly being targeted by his father. But he got to meet the said girl's father and spend time with him in the last days of his life"
"The girl who loves social gathering, host balls, make friends and used to be a social person before her traumatic experience" x "The boy who's a courtier & emissary and acquaintance to so many people"
"The girl who needs sunshine" x "The boy who's the heir of the day"
"The girl who loves gardening" x "The boy who'd been living among flowers, where her sister believe she will thrive there, for most of his life"
"The girl who was thought to be insane and lost her mind" x "The boy who was the first & only person who believed her enough to go to search of whatever she saw"
"The girl who took half step toward her mate" x "The boy who was too scared to look back at her"
"The girl who said: His name is Lucien" x "The boy who whispered in shock: You're my mate"
"The girl who hasn't rejected the bond" x "The boy who can't stay away from her but also gives her space, never forces her and looks at her with longing in his eyes"
"The girl who is so loved by Cauldron" x "The boy who was gifted to her"
"The girl who still has kept his jacket" x "The boy who never demanded it back"
"The girl who's going through her toughest time of her life and still traumatized" x "The boy who's been through a lot, so the author saw fit for them to have their healing journey together"
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hajihiko · 11 months
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Fuyuhiko stared back at him, still unable to focus his vision. "You…" Hajime barely kept himself from grabbing Fuyuhiko's hand to try to encourage him. Mikan hadn't bandaged the many, many wounds there, yet. "Yeah. Me."
again, from this writing by @causeitsagame .
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hydrodragons · 7 months
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wriothesley • character teaser: indispensable protocols
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rogueddie · 1 month
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Follow Forever but I've curated it so it's my absolute favourite peeps, the most amazing blogs, the best of the best, and if you aren't already following them then you are missing out 💕
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