#i miss the times when people were a lot more interactive when quarantine had started

[junebug-is-bugging-you]

Whats up nerds, I’m alive

If you don’t recognize the blog that’s understandable, I literally just edited and changed everything.

The previous blog name was emmijuu, and I was previously going by the name Emma. Since then, a lot has changed.

Now obviously I haven’t been active for upwards of two years, and I pretty much have no excuse other than I just fell out of tumblr and had lost interest for a while. The primary reason I ever made a tumblr account was because I was feeling lonely during quarantine. I missed my friends and even though I was messaging with them every day, I was still missing human interaction and needed some sort of social media that would fit me and my nerdy 8th grade brain. So what did I do? Well, my IRL friend @bordon-freeman had an account on this funky little website called tumblr, and I decided hey, why tf not?

But what happened, is I eventually started high school. In person. And when I was finally able to see people again, I guess my need for tumblr fizzled out. Leading me to go inactive for a very long time. And for that, I apologize.

I’m sorry for those of of you who were my friends on this website, I kinda just up and dipped out of here, without really any warning or heads-up. Not even a goodbye.

So, now that we’re here…

I don’t know if I’ll still be active on tumblr. I want to try because I really miss this website and the energy it emits, and what it has to offer in terms of people, and content. I’ve met some of the nicest people on here. Realistically I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay active on here, because I’ve been gone so long and then just popped up out of nowhere.

But I still want to try. What can you expect from me in the future? Most likely the same things as before, but with even more fandom shit and an improved art style. I don’t know how well this will go, but we’ll see.

From now on please do me a favor and call me June, that would be much appreciated.

Thank you all for reading, and expect to hear from me soon. And please, DM me and/or send me asks if you feel comfortable doing so!

[batfeula]

Somehow only today I found your non-pixel art artworks on the Instagram page through one of your posts here and I love it! Never seen them on Twitter before, I think. Is there a special reason for such separation of styles? Will you be posting more of it here on Tumblr?

When I started drawing "seriously" instagram was the best social platform to share art: there were no stories and reels, just images, so it was natural for me to use it. Over time, however, the nature of instagram has changed, it became increasingly difficult to get noticed among the posts and, with the desire to "become famous", on the advice of a friend I decided to create a Twitter account, where according to him it was easier to grow. (I'm ashamed of it, but in those days I was really obsessed with likes and followers) So when I started on Twitter I was just reposting the same things as Instagram and if I'm not mistaken at the time I was participating in the October challenge "Season of Bad Guys" organized by Craig Gleason on instagram. They were the same posts on two different platforms with a different level of interaction, on Twitter if I reached 5 likes it was a lot. Apparently growing up on Twitter wasn't as easy as I was told... However I felt that I didn't like Instagram anymore, several years had passed and I was always the small fish in a sea that was too big, I hadn't managed to make friends with any other artist and my list of followers had turned into a phone book, there were only people who followed me because they knew in real life. So, when I started making pixelart for fun, I decided to start completely from scratch and rather than create a new instagram account, I preferred to use the twitter account I already had. And so, my twitter became exclusively pixelated. However, I continue to do digital art, in fact last year I also followed a course in digital painting and concept art, and even if I like it and sometimes I miss dedicating myself completely to that, unfortunately pixelart is the only thing that has made me earn some money. Tumblr is a whole new world, I haven't quite figured out how to use it yet, but it might be the next platform I run off to to escape the stressful things about Twitter. So I don't know, maybe there's a new quarantine and I'm going to study 3D modeling and I'm dedicating this account only to lowpoly characters. Excuse me if I wrote a ton of stuff, I really like chatting and twitter has never allowed me to do so much in a single post, to make it up to you here is an illustration which is neither on twitter nor on instagram.

[wildissylupus]

I really love all your analyses!! tbh i think in overwatch but especially in blackwatch cassidy was seen as "low maintenance" when it came to physical and mental care because he was so used to having to fend for himself that everyone just assumed so

Couldn't put it into better words myself. But it isn't just the fact that he's always had to fend for himself, yes it started that way for everyone else but with Cassidy he was always responsible for someone else. In the Crisis he wasn't able to let himself feel, he needed to survive, that was the goal, in Deadlock he was responsible for Ashe, Julian and Frankie, making sure they didn't get caught, injured or kidnapped. In Blackwatch he was responsible for Genji, he also became the "big brother", the role model to a lot of the younger characters, specifically Tracer and Pharah. At that point he wasn't allowed to feel, to mess up, to make mistakes or fully let himself relax because people were counting on him, looking up to him. And then no one listened to him when he told people the things happening with Blackwatch, with Reyes, with Moira.

Then Gerard died, Ana died, Mina died, Mei and Sigma went missing, Echo was put into quarantine, and he was everyone else's shoulder to cry on. He most likely comforted Reyes when Gerard, Ana and Mina died, he comforted Pharah when Ana died, comforted Mercy when Mei and Sigma disappeared and he most likely only let himself feel anger when Echo was put into quarantine. Everyone else around him was falling apart so he needed to stay strong, after all he could take care of himself, right? He was low maintenance. He was surrounded by death and betrayal his entire life, he could handle it.

Then the Swiss Base incident happened and he spiraled. I've gone into some details about this but it's heavily implied that Cassidy is a functional alcoholic (getting blackout drunk at various bars, a lot of his interactions/voice lines involving alcohol), it's also somewhat implied that Cassidy has relapsed back into smoking (his old voice line with Mercy and his behavior around Ana). He was taken away from every support system he had and now that he finally needed one it was gone. He was a wanted criminal with a 60 million bounty on his head, he couldn't talk to anyone, he didn't want to put them in danger.

I think the only people who know and understand what Cassidy has gone through are Angela, Ana and Sombra.

Angela is very similar to Cassidy in that people view her as low maintenance, she's the golden child, the medical prodigy, she's the support for everyone around her, a golden light of hope for the future. It's why you will always see me say that Angela and Cassidy are each others comfort person. They've known each other for 20 years, have been in Overwatch for the same amount of time, they were used and lied to by the people they thought they could trust. There's a reason Ana had to talk both of them into joining Overwatch again.

Ana has only recently realized how everything affected Cassidy, and there is now doubt in my mind that she feels responsible for what he's gone through. She's the only one out of the Old Soldiers Trio who doesn't glorify Cassidy's time in Blackwatch, whereas both Reaper and Solider have voice/elimination lines that indicate they don't grasp the fact that Cassidy was more negatively impacted by his time in Blackwatch.

Then there's Sombra, we don't see much of they're dynamic in cannon but the fact that Sombra has seen Cassidy blackout drunk at a bar, has seen his search history (listen, I know it's a joke but she defiantly saw some concerning stuff in that search history), and is the character with the most similar backstory to him. Orphaned survivor of the crisis joins a gang then ends up working for a big organization.

I defiantly think that Cassidy is on his last footing, which makes me worried for when he finds out about Reaper. Cause either Angela is going to tell him or he's going to figure it out on his own. And as much as I'm of the opinion Cassidy isn't going to be merciful towards Reaper, I don't think he's going to have a healthy reaction.

Hopefully the New Blood crew will help him when he starts to spiral, because they are all very similar to him.

Sorry for the rant and thank you for enjoying my analyses!! There are defiantly more to come.

[sea-nprin-cebel-aos]

Change is usually something we expect, and it is always expected of us to adapt to it at our own pace. What most don't realize is that often times, we need to do a little more than just accepting it.

I never really thought to appreciate what I once had until I can never get it back anymore.

I remember when...

I met this really nice friend back when I would rarely interact with anyone but myself. Sure, we barely talked and they had other friends and they were loads smarter than me and I was always too shy to talk to people, but I was fine with that. They were the friend that you'd enjoy quiet walks with and thrive on awkwardly sitting next to each other without knowing what to say or do.

I always thought that they never liked me at all and was just barely tolerating my existence as we were pretty far from each other, intellectually. I didn't know what I was doing back then, I'm not a smart before as I am today.

Over time however, the pieces fell into place like a destined series of events as we conquered school while helping each other in the one year that we spent close to one another.

I regarded it as good news before, as I would never need to look depressed whenever there was a group or by pair task that I always had trouble with. There was finally someone I can rely on that isn't myself! I never had any confidence or strength to have any close friends, so I would always sit back and wait to be inevitably left as the only person without anyone to group up with.

It didn't ever cross my mind that I could lose them as easily as they arrived into my life.

The pandemic closed in, and I lost contact with everyone. But contrary to popular expectations, quarantine wasn't so bad. No tiring walks, no social anxiety, and thankfully no aggregious expenditures. But seriously though, no allowance? The months of internet plans my family paid for was NOT cheap.

Anyways, after all of that virus outbreak stuff, I awoke and entered campus as a returning student, with my most trusted friend now apart from me, and who could barely even acknowledge that I exist.

As someone who has never had any strong romantic feelings to other people yet, losing a friend was the worst thing that could ever happen to me socially. I actually liked that person, you know.

But like the good stalker that I am, I of course ask around about them so I can at least be informed if they ever had any problems with other people. I'm totally not protective of my friends and will hold a grudge with whoever disrespects them. Totally.

I tried my best to at least interact with the people I have missed the past 2 or so years with, but even the people I've barely met had stronger interactions with me.

After hours and days and weeks of contemplating what I did wrong, or what mistakes I made, and how I could possibly fix this, it dawned on me.

I can't fix everything.

I can't revert what's already changed.

And I obviously can't force myself onto other people who probably hate me because they don't want to interact with me anymore.

It's time I improved myself and faced the ramifications of what life gave to me.

And so I did.

I made new friends, connections, hobbies. And I even started being more aware of how I present myself to others and how to preserve what I actually want to stay the same in my life.

I grew a lot as a person, the longer I spent alone and deep within existential dread.

And even though I lost someone along the way, I'm sure they can find better friends than me. Everyone is important for someone else, even if that person isn't me.

Goodbye, past. I hope you find people that you actually care about to not forget.

~Excerpt 2 end~

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

-A turtle monk

[crushzone]

4 am thoughts

[theinvisiblecapricorn]

Surprise, surprise.

Author's note: This is my first ever written one shot. The inspiration popped into my head during my shower. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy

Fluffy one shot.

Part 1.

// Introduction //

A little info about Y/N and Vinnie.

So, you guys met during the first Covid lockdown.

You weren’t really seeing anyone of your friends during this time because you didn’t feel like taking any risks. So the only way for you to interact with anyone, was via social media. Before lockdown you also kind of give up on the idea of finding a lover because the last time you gave it a shot it didn’t work out.

You remember one of your best friends told you ‘’ Once you start focusing on yourself, it’ll come to you. ‘’ Well, what better way to focus on yourself other than during quarantine?

That’s when Vinnie came into the picture.

After many failed attempts of having a normal conversation with serval people, the last thing Vinnie expected was to meet someone like you. A lot of the time people tried to take advantage of the fact that he was famous. They would post his personal info on social media and share their conversations for clout. Just like you, Vinnie was kind of over the idea of meeting someone who would like him for his personality instead of his name.

You guys instantly clicked. It felt like talking to someone you’ve known your entire life. There wasn’t a thing you couldn’t share with another. But because the two of you lived in different time zones you couldn’t talk as much as you’d like, but you made it manageable. There was only one problem; traveling was not an option due to Covid, so the two of you had never seen each other in real life.

Until now…

// End of introduction //

Alex (Warren) set up his camera to make a video.

He clicked on record and looked into the camera.

‘’ So as you guys know, Vinnie and Y/N met online in the beginning of Covid, but they’ve never officially seen each other in real life. Now that traveling is allowed again and Vinnie hasn’t been feeling himself lately, I thought it was a good idea to surprise him. I bought y/n a plan ticket so she can come over and hopefully cheer Vinnie up. And I will document the entire journey. ‘’

// Vinnie’s POV //

It’s noon. I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone through TikTok. I haven’t heard from Y/N all day. Normally she would call me before going to bed herself, but she never did. I tried texting her but no reply.

Y/NNNN????

Yo bro, you there???

I miss your voiceeee

Please don’t be asleep already 

Pick up!!!!!! Or else I’m coming for you.

God, I wish I could just fly to wherever she was at and kiss her entire face. Because, yes, I am indeed in love with her, and she feels the same way about me. I just never thought I could recognize so much of myself in someone else. She’s the most kind, beautiful and loving person I know, and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms one day and never let go.

I’m starting to daydream about a life with y/n without the long distance, because it truly sucks. Then I hear a knock on the door and before I know it Alex comes rushing in with his camera in his hand.

( Vinnie & Alex )

‘’ Vinnie, say hello to everyone! ‘’

‘’ Hello everyone. Alex what do you want? ‘’

‘’ Why are you assuming I want something from you? ‘’

‘’ Because you only enter my room if you either have one of your crazy ideas to share or if you want me to get involved in something I probably shouldn’t get involved into. ‘’

‘’ Pfft, not true. My ideas aren’t crazy, they’re brilliant in their own way. ‘’

Alex grins at me. Suspiciously.

‘’ Anyways that’s not the point Vincent, I actually came in to see if you would join me to get some groceries because the only thing left are rise waffles and I’m starving. ‘’

Alex is blinking his eyes with the same grin he has had on from the moment he came into my room.

He’s not going to leave until I agree on coming. So before I know it, we’re on our way to the grocery store.

// Y/N’s POV //

I received a text from Alex a few weeks ago. He told me about his idea to surprise Vinnie. I couldn’t be more excited. Ever since Vinnie and I started talking I have pushed many of my personal boundaries. In a positive way. Vinnie has helped me regain trust in others and has showed me that love is real. I have lost my faith in love due to my previous experiences. That’s why the connection that I have with Vinnie is so important to me.

I have arrived at the airport as I turn on my phone. My phone starts to receive all the missed text messages and calls from Vinnie. I smile as I read through them.

‘’ Oh Vin, if only you knew ‘’ I think to myself.

I hear someone yelling my name behind me. As I turn around, I see Nailea running towards me.

Nailea is a close friend of Vinnie so of course she was the first to know about Vinnie’s contact with me. She’s been super kind to me, and I consider her as the sister I never had.

Nailea hugs me once she has approached me.

( Y/N & Nailea )

‘’ OH MY GOD. Girl, I am so happy that you’re finally hereeeee!!! ’’

I laugh as I see people around looking at us.

‘’ I am also very happy to be here. To finally meet everyone. For real. ‘’

‘’ Yea, now tell me, does my nose look bigger on the screen than in real life? ‘’

‘’ Hahaha, no Nai. You look fantastic on the screen and even better in real life. ‘’

Nailea and I take my stuff and walk out of the airport.

Once settled in the car, I receive a text from Alex:

We’re almost at the store. He hasn’t got a clue. See you there.

This is all a part of Alex his big plan. First, I will act like a regular costumer shopping at the same store as Vinnie and Alex. Then once they get back, Alex will distract Vinnie just a little longer, so he won’t notice me walking past the car right away. Brilliant.

// Vinnie’s POV //

Alex and I walk into the store.

‘’ Alright, what do we need? ‘’

‘’ Anything but rise waffles. ‘’

I shake my head, laughing, as I walk to the lemonade aisle.

Alex is taking out his camera and starts filming me from a far.

I start singing Paparazzi by Lady Gaga as I act like I'm hiding from him.

‘’ Oh, you should also take a few cans of coke. ‘’ Alex suggests.

As I walk towards the aisle with cans of lemonade, I notice a girl standing in front of it. Her hair instantly reminds me of Y/N. The exact same length, color and texture. Call me a simp, but I just pay a lot of attention to the girl I love. I slowly approach the girl before Alex attacks be by throwing a teddy bear on my head.

‘’ Hey, watch it! ‘’ I fix my hair.

‘’ Sorry man, I just know how much you like teddy bears. ‘’ Alex’s laughing out loud as he zooms in to my face.

I laugh, as I start to think back to the day Alex thought it would be funny to buy a giant teddy bear and have Patrick in it to scare me.

Just then, I notice the girl was gone. I didn’t see her anywhere else again.

After collecting all the stuff, we needed, we went home.

Once we arrived home, Alex stopped me before I opened my car door.

‘’ Let’s just sit here for a bit and talk about some stuff. ‘’ I stare at Alex with a confused look on my face.

‘’ Yea, because the viewers want to know, how are things going between you and Y/N? ‘’

I scratch the back of my neck and start feeling the heat take over my cheeks.

‘’ I mean, it’s hard sometimes. She’s one of the most important people in my life, yet I haven’t even met her in person. But I just know that once I do, that everything will naturally fall into it’s place. ‘’

Alex pouts as he listens to all the sweet things I have to say.

‘’ You really like her, don’t you? ‘’

‘’ I mean, yea I do. I really do. ‘’

‘’ Alright, so imagine her standing in front of you right now, what would you do? ‘’

I look at my hands as I start to imagine a situation like that.

‘’ Uh… If she was standing in front of me right now.. I would.. ‘’ My eyes scan a figure walking past the car and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

// Y/N’s POV //

Shit, I almost got caught. The plan was to go into the store, just to admire Vinnie from a far. I didn’t plan to stand in the exact aisle, where he needed to get something from. Luckily, Alex had a plan to distract Vinnie while I fled to the exit. Phew, that was close.

Alex texted me, saying they were on their way home. That’s when it hit me, I am going to be able to see, touch and kiss Vinnie for the first time ever. Nailea noticed my anxiety kicking in and she told me everything would be just fine.

It didn’t take long before Alex’s car pulled up on the driveway. Alex and Vinnie stayed in the car for a bit. My phone started buzzing as I read the notification: ‘’ Now!’’ That was my cue.

As nervous as one can be, I walked past the car with the person who’s the other half of my heart in it. I didn’t dare to look in his direction.

// Vinnie’s POV //

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This isn’t real right? Was I dreaming? I mean, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because I was worried sick due to Y/N not responding to me anymore.

I rub my eyes as I watch in the direction of the person again and there’s no way it couldn’t be her.

Then she turns her face into my direction and my heart starts pounding. There she is, the love of my life, the only person who can make my day just by popping up in my notifications, Y/N.

As I try to open my door, I hear Alex locking it.

‘’ Let me out! ‘’ I look at Alex as I try to unlock the door, but unable because he keeps his hand infront of the lock.

‘’ You haven’t answered my question yet. ‘’ Alex smirks at me, but I do not find it funny at all.

‘’ Please, let me out and I’ll show you what I would do if she were to stand in front of me ‘’

And with, I heard the door unlock. I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as I could to the person who I longed for the most.

Click here for part two;

[spn-season-16-chronicles]

SPNews

6th March 2021

Panels with Mark Sheppard and Misha Collins took place. Overall chaotic, no revolutionary info, but also filled with boring questions "curated" by Creations, repeated on multiple panels. Misha trends on twitter, spn is trending on tumblr hellsite dot com as we write that info

Mark was talking about the pandemic, pandemic-induced mental health struggles, his career, missing in-person conventions and people overall.

Asked if Chuck wrote Crowley's death says that Chuck is better writer than that.

Slams against the writers on multiple occasions, saying that the hardest part of playing Crowley was making sence of the writing, calls it almost contradictory (says that more than 25 people wrote Crowley through the years). Bitterly says that he didn't take any memorabilia from the set, not was he given any, his wife bought him a knockoff coat. Mentions cutout "even when I loose i win" line. Says that if he could he'd rewrite all Crowley's actions from season 11 and 12.

Gets question "If Crowley had lived, would he be able to find love?", considers it for a while and then leaves unanswered for the fandom to answer.

Asked about with what character did Crowley had the most chemistry with he says there was Dean-Crowley bromance, there was clear antagonism going on with Sam, but there created peculiar chemistry between Crowley and Cas because Mark and Misha spent alot of time together on set, building their friendship.

Says that the hardest scene to film was the one where Dean was talking about a spanking girl in Zorro mask just because they could not giggle while taping.

Misha's panel was much more chaotic and it included:

Him spending lots of time trying to read questions on a chat

Talking about carving peace symbol on his thigh when he was young

A story about Mason making holes in the walls in search of elves

West and Hazel appearing somewhere offscreen multiple times (and Misha interacting with them)

Saying he wants to be Keanu Reeves (and be in The Matrix movies)

Talk about his past internship during Clinton administration

A few words in Russian

The whole panel started with him talking about last year Las Vegas con, his very stressful last weekend before quarantine, and thinking about being back on set in few months (which might imply that he at least wanted to be on set on the last shooting day).

Maintains statement that the pre-covid ending also included Dean dying and big reunion in heaven, in the Roadhouse, with the band Kansas playing. There were talks and preparations to make that finale in open space, but it didn't pan out.

Says that the "getting out of Purgatory" scene was the worst one to film as a giant fan was blowing sand and dirt directly into his and Jensen's eyes and mouths.

His poetry book will be released some time in the fall. He might be working on another book, started 7 years ago

Finishes by praising the fandom and saying he is hoping for real world cons soon.

Less than 24 hours remaining till J2 panel

What will happen tomorrow?

And now weather

[hookingminor]

4 times his friends posted you on their instagram + 1 time he did - mat barzal

a/n: I wrote this literally back in july so lets just ignore how idealistic this is regarding quarantine but im a slut for some barzy this is all fluff

word count: 4,733

summary: like the title says, some friends (with benefits?) to lovers + a tyson cameo, fluffy summer quarantine fic

tagging @davidpastrsnack​ so kate can get on the barzy train

-

1.

To say the whole quarantine thing was an inconvenience was an understatement. School had ended online, your summer internship was cancelled, and it seemed like your summer would turn into an uneventful couple of months stuck in your apartment in, probably, the worst place to be stuck in during a pandemic: New York City.

Or so you thought.

You’d planned on having the most boring summer ever until your friend, Mat, had invited you to hole up away with him and a few friends in a lake house back in Vancouver. Well, friend was a loose term. The two of you were friends… just ones that kissed occasionally… and sometimes more than kissed. You’d met him about a year ago at a bar while he was out with his teammates after a game. A cliche meeting, but you hit it off instantly. Instead of ending up in his bed at the end of the night (which you would eventually end up at after a couple months), it turned into an exchange of numbers and an invitation to hang out later in the week.

You hadn’t thought anything of it at first, just thinking he was being friendly and wanting to end the conversation, so you were surprised to get a text the next day from an unknown number asking if you’d wanted to go on a bike ride.

Flashforward a year later and the two of you still went on bike rides together. At least, up until the pandemic started.

When the text came telling you to pack your bags for a month or so, you thought he was joking. Surely he couldn’t have meant you to join him in Vancouver over the summer? You were proven wrong when he showed up at your apartment the next day, two coffees in his hand.

“Uh, hi, Mathew,” you said hesitantly, opening your door to reveal your disheveled state, having just woken up.

“Why are you dressed like that? We have a plane to catch in four hours,” he said, pushing himself through your door, uninvited, to set the coffees on the counter.

“What are you doing here? What plane? You’re not supposed to be going out,” you reprimanded him for showing up unannounced and in the middle of quarantine.

“I told you we’re going to Vancouver, I know you read my text. Now let’s hurry up and pack, we gotta get going,” Mat rushed, already on the way to your bedroom.

You followed him after a brief moment once you’d processed what was going on. Mat had already pulled out your suitcase and set it on top of your bed by the time you entered the door. He was in the middle of rifling through your drawers and grabbing random garments to throw into the suitcase when you’d spoken again.

“You’re actually serious about this?”

“Of course I am. What better things do you have to do in a city on lockdown for an entire summer? Honestly, I’m doing you a favor,” he explained easily, turning back to grab more items.

“Oh, you’re doing me a favor? Thank you, Mat, for saving me from a summer of suffering. It’s not like I had other plans to find different internships or focus on my summer classes,” you replied sarcastically.

Mat rolled his eyes. “I am doing you a favor, and you’re doing me a favor by going. I need a hot piece of ass to get me through this, or I will lose my mind.” You slugged him on the shoulder in offense, but all he did was chuckle.

“And anyways, you can still do your classes in Vancouver. Instead of doing them locked in this apartment, you can do them lounged out under the Canadian sun. Preferably in a bikini,” he finished. You slugged his arm again, harder this time.

“In fact, you should take the red bikini, it makes your tits look amazing,” he said, noticing you shuffling through your swimsuits. You rolled your eyes at him but grabbed the red one anyway along with a couple others.

With both of you folding and packing, your bags were ready to go in record time.

“Alright, baby, let’s go.” And so you were off.

A week had gone by in total bliss. As much as you hated to admit it, Mat was right. Vacationing in Vancouver in a secluded lake house was a lot better than being alone in your apartment, even if you did still have classes to do. Mat teased you about it, but he always left you alone for a few hours in the day for you to focus on your work. Unless he really wanted something… like right now.

Mat had joined you laying on the couch while you were in the middle of annotating a book for class. He wiggled his way between your arms, causing you to break your hold on your book. He rested his head on your chest, arms wrapped around your middle, and nuzzled his face into your neck. Joining your hands back to your book and bringing your highlighter to the page, you continued to underline phrases you’d come back to later. A couple minutes passed in silence before Mat started sighing. And then he sighed again.

“What do you want?” you huffed out, closing your book with the pen marking your page.

“Let’s go swimming,” he said, pushing up to his elbows to look at your face.

“I have to finish, like, three more chapters today,” you explained.

“You can do that later. I want to go swimming now,” Mat whined.

“You know you sound like a petulant child right now, right?” you asked, moving a hand to his head, pushing his hair back as he pouted.

“Stop using big words on me. Let’s swim,” he said, rolling his eyes.

You paused to think about it for a moment, “Hmm… okay, I guess,” you said with a smile. Mat returned your smile with one of his own before hopping up to drag you to your room to change. It didn’t take much to convince you to swim. It was a really nice day out, and you didn’t really care to finish reading about 17th century philosophy.

You changed into your red bikini, Mat swapped his shorts for a pair of swim trunks, and threw on a backwards baseball cap. You went out back to join the rest of his friend group, who were in the process of loading up the boat with supplies and equipment.

“Oh, look, if it isn’t Brainiac and the Beast. Are you two finally going to go boating with us?” Tyson shouted from the dock. You rolled your eyes at his nickname they created for you and Mat. It had only been a week in Vancouver, but the chirps about you and school were tired by now.

“Princess here wants to swim in the pool, maybe next time!” you shouted back, pointing to Mat.

They laughed at your response, turning their attention back to the boat and running supplies to and from the house. You turned your attention back to Mat, who was taking off his hat and was about two seconds away from jumping in the pool.

“Mathew, stop!” you yelled out, “Get your ass over here!”

“What is it?” he asked, stopping just short of the deep end. He grumbled before marching over to you.

“You need to put sunscreen on first, dumbass,” you reprimanded. As you turned your back to grab the bottle of sunscreen, he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, Mat,” you said sharply, turning back to face him with a raised eyebrow.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.”

You ignored him, opening the cap and squeezing lotion onto your hands. You gestured him to turn around, and you spread the lotion over it, making sure to rub it into his shoulders.

“I don’t see why I have to put sunscreen on. It’s not even that hot outside,” he muttered.

“First of all, you’re a dumbass. Second of all, heat doesn’t automatically mean the UV rays aren’t strong. And lastly, you’re white, baby, you’ll burn like a sun-dried tomato and being in water only increases the amount of sun you’re exposed to,” you explained, reaching up to rub some on his face.

“Sorry, Miss Meteorologist,” he grumbled, clearly not happy he’d lost this argument.

“One of us has to have brains. We can’t all get by on our good looks and skating ability,” you replied, slapping his cheeks when you were done for good measure.

“Okay, well, if you’re finally done,” you nodded in confirmation, “Let’s go.” He picked you up from under your thighs and ran at full speed towards the pool before you could even process what was happening. You screamed his name in protest begging him to put you down, claiming you hadn’t had time to put on sunscreen yet. He ignored you as he jumped into the deep end, dragging you with him.

You emerged from the water clinging to Mat’s wet body, your hair sopping and hanging over your face like you had come straight out of the movie The Grudge. Mat was laughing at your chaotic look, knowing you were well pissed at him. You jumped higher in the water on top of him to dunk his head under and tried your best to drown him.

It wasn’t until you were relaxing on the couch later that night doing your routinely social media scroll that you saw one of the guys recorded your sunscreen interaction by the pool, you calling Mat a dumbass, and him throwing you in the pool onto their instagram story with a caption “all these two do is fight” with some laughing crying emojis added for effect.

2.

After a long day or hiking, you’d immediately crashed on the couch once you’d gotten back to the house, not bothering to walk all the way to your room. It was only early in the afternoon but you’d been out since sunrise, and dealing with people for hours on end had drained you. The group laughed at you as you plopped your body down onto the couch, curling your head under your arm instead of grabbing the pillow two feet away from you. The rest of them gathered in the kitchen, refueling their bodies with assorted snacks as they started popping open bottles of beer, ready to start the night. It seemed that even an entire day on their feet had not emptied them of their, seemingly endless, energy.

“Jesus Christ, we hiked for, like, six hours and you’re all still bouncing off the walls,” you sighed deeply.

“We’re about to go hit the boat and go water skiing, too. I’m assuming you’re too tired to join us?” Tyson teased.

“I will not be joining you because unlike some people, I need a nap. Now get out of here, you’re all giving me a headache,” you said, pinching your fingers on the bridge of your nose to emphasize your point.

They all snickered but kept quiet as they shuffled around, packing up more food to take outside. You heard the sliding door shut and close a few times as they ran in and out before it was finally silent. You let out a sigh of relief as you took solace in the calm quiet.

That was until you felt a pair of arms shifting you closer to the edge of the couch. You peeked one eye open to see Mat rolling your body over to give him some space as he climbed over your body to nestle himself between you and the back cushions.

“Not going out on the boat?” You asked as he tucked a pillow under the both of your heads and pulled a blanket over your bodies.

“No. They’re exhausting. I need some time for myself,” Mat replied, wrapping his arm around your middle to pull you into his chest.

“No offense, but if you’re with me, you’re not by yourself,” you explained, closing your eyes again as you settled into a comfortable position.

“Yeah, but you’re you. You don’t exhaust me,” he said quietly. You didn’t know what to say to that, so you didn’t answer. Within a few seconds you heard Mat’s breathing even out, and you followed quickly behind him into a deep sleep.

-

A couple hours passed in a dreamless sleep when you heard the sliding of doors and laughter travel through the house. It stirred you from your sleep and you both shifted around, letting out displeased groans.

“Are they both still asleep?” You heard one of them ask from the kitchen. Neither of you wanted to answer in hopes they would leave you two to continue sleeping.

You were sadly mistaken.

“Hey! Sleeping beauties! Time to get up!” Tyson shouted from somewhere above you.

You both groaned out a “Fuck off, Tyson,” without opening your eyes, both of you giving him the middle finger. Tyson laughed to himself and you expected him to keep bothering you, but you heard his footsteps lead away from the couch. You turned over on your other side, tucking your face into Mat’s neck before falling back asleep.

-

When you woke up later that evening, you checked instagram again to see Tyson posted a new story. It was the video of him bothering you two and flipping him off with a caption that said “I get no respect around here :(“

3.

It had been raining all day. Which meant everyone was stuck inside watching movies and eating pizza. It didn’t take long for you to get bored of lounging on the couch, especially when all they wanted to do was watch Fast and Furious movies. You sat on the loveseat you were sharing with Mat, and you distracted yourself from the boring movie by tangling your hands in your hair, French braiding the strands into pigtails mindlessly. You unbraided and rebraided your hair into a fishtail after the pigtails, and then into a regular braided ponytail after that. You let yourself get caught up in daydreams as you stared blankly at the TV when Mat started tugging on your leg. Dropping your braid, you finished tying it off with a hair tie and turned to look at him.

“Let me practice on you,” Mat said quietly.

“Practice what?” You asked.

“Braiding,” he said, shuffling to sit upright. He tried to gently push you off the couch until you got the hint and moved to sit between his legs on the floor.

“You think you can do it?” You asked, ready to offer him a demonstration.

“I’ve been watching you for the past half hour, I got this,” he replied, pulling out your hair tie. You rolled your eyes at his confidence, but let him continue unraveling the strands.

Every few minutes Mat would sigh exasperatedly before pulling out the twists he’d made to start over. Eventually, he’d almost gotten all the way to the end of your hair before he sighed again, clearly fed up by how long this was taking him. You didn’t say anything as he restarted for a third time, going for a straight back braid instead of a French braid.

After another ten minutes, Mat had finally completed his simple braid, tying your hair off with the tie. He tapped your shoulder to indicate he was done, and you pulled the long tail over your shoulder to look at it.

It was a braid.

An extremely loose one where he mixed up the strand order in a couple places, but a braid nonetheless. You turned around to get back up on the couch, and you were met with his triumphant smile.

“Good job, bud,” you complimented, leaving the braid in as you resumed your previous position on the couch.

-

You checked your phone to find a notification of a new story tag. You opened the app to see a picture of you on the floor, staring at the TV while Mat had his hands twisted in your hair and a confused look on his face and tongue poking out of his mouth. Next to your instagram tag was “he’s been knotting her hair on purpose for 20 minutes now”

4.

Your final exams for the summer classes you were taking were in a week. Finals stressed you out more than anything else in the world, and when you were stressed, you did a lot of baking. A lot of baking. After finishing your finals study schedule and nearly breaking down almost twice because of the amount you had to get done, you decided to start baking instead of going to sleep. So, at 3 in the morning when everyone was asleep, you’d  turned on the oven and brought out the bowls.

It began with a few dozen cookies. You figured everyone could at least enjoy the cookies. Who didn’t like cookies?

Cookies turned into muffins, muffins into cupcakes, and then cupcakes into pies. By the time everyone was waking up, it was nearly eleven in the morning. You’d gone to the store twice and had taken a few twenty minute naps while you waited for your desserts baked in the oven. And right now, you were in the middle of finishing off some cinnamon rolls for breakfast

“Oh my god, what the hell happened here?” Mat had asked with a scared expression, taking note of the disastrous kitchen. You didn’t answer him as you were topping off the rolls with some icing.

A few more bodies had gathered in the kitchen and began to fill the seats at the countertop while they watched you with worried eyes.

“What?” You asked innocently, placing the plates of cinnamon rolls in front of all of them. Their eyes followed you carefully as you pulled more goods out of the oven where you were keeping them warm. Plate after plate you set on the counter, all the cookies and muffins and cakes.

“How long have you been up?” Tyson asked cautiously. You swear you’ve never heard him use a softer voice than right now.

“I’m not sure. I never went to sleep, I guess? What time is it now?” You asked, pulling out glasses for orange juice.

“Nearly noon. You seriously didn’t sleep?” Tyson asked. The others had delved into the confections, eyes bouncing between the two of you as they stuffed their faces.

“She’s stress baking,” Mat replied quietly, helping himself to a cinnamon roll.

“What the hell is tress baking?” One of the other guys asked.

“Yeah she does this when she’s stressed. Usually when finals are coming up,” Mat said, directing it more towards you than his friend. You gave him a sheepish look, deciding not to comment since he already answered for you.

Mat was used to your stress baking as it resulted in you showing up at his place in the middle of the night with bags full of pastries in the late hours of the evening. It was always against his diet and he frequently gave most of your desserts to his neighbor, but he could never tell you no when you arrived with gifts.

“Well, I’m all out of flour, so, I’m going to run to the store again to get some more supplies so I can make a chocolate cake later,” you said hurriedly.

You did a quick double check of the kitchen, flashing all the guys a bright smile before heading out the door with your purse in hand, all of them staring until the front door shut behind you.

-

When you came back, you found Mat in the kitchen doing the dishes and nearly all the sweets you’d baked earlier were eaten or wrapped and put away. Maybe there was a plus side to being in a home with five other people.

“Mat, you don’t have to do that,” you said, setting your groceries down and hip checking him away from the sink.

“You’re already stressed, I figured doing the dishes would take away some of that,” he said with a shrug. He continued rinsing out some bowls as you gave him a small smile.

The two of you continued to wash the dishes in silence, moving to clean the countertops when you were done. After half an hour, the mess you’d made was gone and any signs of a baking breakdown had been erased.

It was a shame you were about to tear up the kitchen all over again.

“How about this,” Mat said, noticing the frown on your face at the thought of making another mess, “Let’s have a competition.”

You quirked your eyebrow, “I’m listening.”

“You said you were making a chocolate cake, right? How about we see who can make the better cake,” Mat propositioned.

You raised both your eyebrows this time. You both knew you were the better baker by a long shot. You did have this same breakdown at least twice a year. You weren’t even sure Mat knew how to make anything that didn’t come with box instructions or included possible salmonella-inducing ingredients.

You knew what he was really trying to do. He was trying to distract you from all the stress, and he knew you couldn’t turn down a competition. You were just as bad as him when it came to winning. Thankfully, this was something you knew you’d win.

“Fine, but I hope you’re prepared to lose,” you agreed with a smile.

“I don’t know, I have been practicing my cooking skills lately,” he said, grabbing the bowls he’d just dried off.

“Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it,” you replied with an eye roll and heavy sarcasm.

You joined him in gathering all the ingredients and materials on the counter, setting up your respective stations. Mat divided the workspace in half, drawing a line in flour which made you laugh. You split the bowls between the sides and set up the ingredients on the second counter just like an actual cooking show.

“Okay, ground rules first. Half an hour to make the cakes, we bake them at the same time, and then another half hour for decorating at the end,” you explained, tying your hair back in a ponytail. Mat nodded at your statement and set a timer on his phone for 30 minutes.

“Ready.”

“Set.”

“Go!”

-

After about two hours, your creations were done. Well, they were supposed to be. Mat’s cake looked more or less like a brown lump coated in frosting and stripes. You’d tried your best to decorate yours with small chocolate roses, but you could’ve turned out a plain cake and probably would have done better.

“I think I won,” you stated confidently.

“You’re not allowed to decide, you’re biased! I’ll make a poll on my story,” Mat said, going to grab his phone.

“You can’t do that, your followers are going to pick yours.”

“Fine, we’ll get someone else to do it— Josty! Come here,” Mat called to his friend passing through the kitchen. He hesitantly walked over to where you were, not wanting to come in the middle of whatever you two were shouting about.

“We need you to make an instagram poll to see who’s cake looks better. Oh, and you’re going to taste test them,” you said, picking up your cake to pose for a picture as Mat did the same. Tyson sighed before realizing you two were serious and he opened his app to take a picture.

He added the photo to his story with a poll asking “Which one is better?” With two options, Y/N’s or Mat’s.

After you set the cakes back down, Tyson picked up a fork before stabbing them to pick out a chunk from each. He ate yours first, nearly moaning at the taste.

“Holy shit, this is, like, the best cake I’ve ever eaten,” Tyson said, shoveling down another forkful. You gave Mat a shit-eating grin.

“Okay, okay, try mine now,” Mat said, displeased. Tyson rolled his eyes before forking out some of his.

“Uh,” he coughed, “it’s a little,” cough, “dry.”

“What? No, it’s not! Let me try,” Mat shouted, outraged, and grabbed Tyson’s fork to try for himself.

It took him two seconds before he was spitting the cake into a napkin.

“Fine. You win,” Mat conceded, throwing a dish towel against the counter in mock fury.

You gloated for another 5 minutes, pointing out Mat’s terrible baking skills as Tyson continued to eat your cake and laugh at Mat.

You won the instagram poll too.

+ 1

It was the last week before you and Mat were flying back to New York. The past month had passed quickly, and Mat needed to get back for the start of training camps. As the summer began to end, the whole crew thought they’d spend one last day on the boat before everyone started parting ways.

It’s not like you were opposed to being on boats, but when all the guys did was water sports and no one wanted to slow down to teach you, it wasn’t as fun.

Today, however, had been quite calm as you sat against the front of the boat, a seltzer in hand as you watched Tyson wakeboarding in the back. Mat was curled up behind you as you leaned back against his chest, tanned skin shining in the summer sun. You reached back to grab the baseball cap off his head, placing it on yours to shield your eyes from the sun. You’d forgotten to bring sunglasses, and you figured Mat could part with his hat since he had a pair.

The day passed peacefully as all the guys took turns until it was sunset. Mat had joined you back on the seat, skin wet from just getting out of the water. He wrapped you in his arms before pulling you onto his lap, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Hey, Tys, take a picture of us real quick,” Mat said, shoving his phone into Tyson’s chest.

You thought nothing of it, you and Mat had taken many pictures together, and this was no different. Mat rested his chin on your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your stomach as you both gave your cheesiest smiles to the camera. A quick shutter indicated the picture was taken and Tyson gave Mat his phone back.

-

Mat called your name from your bed as you stood in the adjoined bathroom, finishing your nightly routine.

“Hey, do you mind if I post that picture of us on my instagram?” Mat called out.

“The one from the boat? Why?” You asked, drying off your face with a towel.

“It’s a cute picture,” he shrugged when you reentered the room.

“People are going to start talking if you do,” you warned with a cautious tone.

He paused for a second.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Mat asked quietly, looking up to meet your eyes.

You stayed silent as you climbed in under the covers.

“What are you trying to say, Mat?”

He took a deep breath, “I think you’re amazing, you know that. And we’ve been friends for so long, it kind of feels natural, doesn’t it?” His fingers began tapping against the sheets anxiously as he held his breath and waited for your response.

You gave him a small smile, moving your body around to fully face him.

“It does,” you agreed, “But if you want us to be something more, you’re going to have to ask me on a date first.”

“A date? After I’ve already gotten you into bed? What’s the point?” You knew he meant it as a joke since he could barely finish the sentence without laughing, but you gently slapped his head as he began to apologize.

“I’m kidding!” He said between chuckles, “Will you go on a date with me once we get back to New York and it’s safe to go out again?”

“I’d love to, Mat,” you replied, leaning in to give him a sweet kiss.

“I’m still going to post that photo tomorrow, though,” he said after a short pause, smiling against your lips.

-

The next day when Mat had gone on a fishing trip with the guys, you saw a notification pop up on your phone.

“@barzal97 tagged you in a photo”

You unlocked your phone.

“Isolation isn’t so bad when you have this girl to spend it with”

[cocosstories]

Sebastian Stan One Shot

Can you do a Sebastian x costar!reader where they’re doing virtual press together from their home for The Falcon and The Winter Soldier and people freak out over how cute they are? Just lots of fluff

"Today we are being joined by Sebastian Stan and Y/F/N Y/L/N. Welcome you two!"

The interviewer says as the virtual press conference begins.

"Thank you so much! We are so happy to be here."

You smile, getting comfortable on the couch and readjusting your air pods.

"So Y/N, you are back again to play Bella Stark."

You had been cast during the second Avengers movie as Bella, Tony's long lost daughter who had been taken by Hydra at the age of three and held by them until she was saved by the Avengers.

The story was one you had always been interested in, especially since yours and Sebastian's characters were intertwined.

As it went, Bella had the mind of her father and the potential to be even better. Hydra had taken her in the middle of the night, killing her mother in the process and holding her in a cell for nearly 15 years before bringing her to take advantage of her skills to build a new arm for The Winter Soilder.

The process took time and even though his kind had been constantly wiped, Bucky and Bella had an unspoken bond develop between them.

So much so that once the arm was finished, the Hydra general had activated The Winter Soilder and ordered him to kill her.

When, much to the shock of everyone, he had refused, the General put a gun to Bella's head to do it himself, The Winter Soldier protected her yet again.

The fans loved the story, all believing that Bucky and Bella truly belonged together and were even more excited when they found out that you would be joining The Falcon and The Winter Soilder as well.

"Yes, luckily they brought me back. As soon as they asked, I jumped at the chance to join the show."

You answer, the comments already going wild with admiration for you and Bella.

"We honestly couldn't have done the show without her. Mackie maybe, but definitely not Y/N."

You playfully smack his arm as you laugh at the sweet comment.

"Are we going to be seeing more of Bucky and Bella's love story in the show?"

The two of you knew how to navigate around the questions, being coached by Marvel for every interview.

"Bucky and Bella are still trying to figure out what they mean to each other, just like in the last few films. Its an ongoing thing that will obviously be explored in the show."

Sebastian's answer was vague enough to not get him in trouble but exactly what the fans wanted to hear.

"Well, we all love them together. The chemistry between you two is off the charts. Do you find that being married in real life has helped you bring this relationship to life on screen?"

You and Sebastian had met years before and became friends quickly. It was only during the filming of Captain America Civil War that you had realized your feelings for each other and had began dating.

You had gotten married just before quarantine had started and were happily living together in New York.

"It has certainly made it easier."

You joke. Both you and Sebastian were very private about your private lives but once the fans had found out about your relationship, they were completely supportive of it.

"Bucky and Bella have a very different sort of relationship then we do but I do believe that our own relationship has helped made their potential one a fan favorite. People root for them. They want to see both of these characters get a happy ending and I partly believe that has to do with the support and love Sebastian and I have seen since the fans have found out about our own relationship."

You answer seriously as the fan comments in the chat went wild with love and support.

'Mom and Dad are giving me life!'

'Why are they so cute?'

'Ahhh I love them so much!'

'This gives me life!'

"Speaking of that, how has married life been treating you during this crazy time?"

The interviewers next question brings even more comments from fans who always want to know every little bit of information they can get from you.

"It's been great. Most couples only get a week or two for their honeymoon but we have gotten a year."

Sebastian answers and takes your hand just under the cameras view.

"Yeah, we've just been working on the house and enjoying married life. I will say though, we are getting a bit restless, ready to get back to work."

The answer was honest, probably a little too honest but you were never one to lie.

Sebastian nods in agreement.

"Yeah, i think we are both ready to get back to real life and be able to be with the fans again."

He reiterates your answer.

"I'm sure the fans are ready to be with you both again as well."

The comments pick up again with messages of how much they all miss you and Sebastian.

"Any final words for the fans before we go?"

The time had come for you to sign off after many questions and roundabout answers.

"We love you guys and hope you like the show!"

Sebastian speaks first then looks over to you.

"Yes, we hope you like the show! Stay strong and we will all be together again soon, we love you!"

You finish the live stream after a few more goodbyes, happy for the chance to interact with the fans and talk up the show.

[dramaqueeenamby]

Waves: Quarantine

A/N: It's been way too long since I've done something for the Wavesverse, and I apologize deeply. I have a few requests related to this series to complete, but I couldn't knock this idea.

Words: 4K

Warnings: None

Tags: @babe-im-bi @notacamelthatsmywife @missyperle @queenoftheworldisdead @tashawar @valkryienymph @letsshamelessqueen-m @hello-therree @mani-lifes @liquorlaughslove @toni9 @koko-michelle @theequeenofcurses @taylortheeshowpony

Waves

Summer placed her phone inside of the mount and made sure that it was secured before she sat back in her bed, getting comfortable with the mass of pillows supporting her back, and smiling tentatively. “Hi, guys.”

Summer!

Someone tell me this isn’t a joke???? Please???

She lives!

Sis, blink twice if you need help.

Summer rolled her eyes. “Ya’ll better stop. I know it’s been a minute since I’ve hopped on live, but it hasn’t been that damn long.”

Summer continued to read the comments where more than a few people pointed out she hadn’t gone live on Instagram in over three months. Her mouth dropped. “Ya’ll lying. It has not been almost six months, has it?” She placed her hand over her mouth when people started dropping dates in the comments. “Okay, I stand corrected. Damn, I’m sorry, guys.”

Don’t be sorry, bestie. Do better!

Damn, ya’ll are so entitled. Celebrities have lives too.

What life? We all been in quarantine.

Rich people quarantine be different from us poor folks, I guess.

“So that’s actually one of the things I wanted to talk about.” Summer cleared her throat. “And I’m going to try really hard to make sure I word what I want to say as clear and as effective as I can, but I know this is still going to end up as a salacious headline. So, it is what it is.”

Oooh, Summer about to drop some tea.

I don’t see her wedding ring, ya’ll…..

I’m scared omg.

Watch this be nothing but a role announcement.

She shrugged and took a deep breath. “Okay, so a few days ago, I did the Buss It challenge, after being harassed by Sanda. And can I just say that filming was a challenge in and of itself? Not necessarily the movements but preparing? I’ve got two kids, twins, who are like the Tasmanian devil. I was literally up at 3 something in the morning trying to record it because my wild children won’t let me be great.” She chuckled. “Kids are something else.”

Summer truly jumped through hoops and was a damn near acrobat trying to figure out when she could not only get herself done up but actually record the challenge. Being the perfectionist that she was didn’t help, but the fact that she couldn’t recall the last time she’d put on makeup and dressed up was a whole other fiasco.

Quarantine definitely brought out her bum side.

“All of that aside, I truly was satisfied and happy with the final product when I posted it. In hindsight, I should have just left it that, but I wake up every day and choose chaos, so I decided to read the comments.” She blew out a breath. “One of the most frequent comments and really, insults, I’ve received my whole career. Primarily, since I was cast as Storm, revolves around how I look. I.e., my weight. I’ve been called fat, obese, out of shape, and so many other things.”

It was 100% true. The minute Marvel announced that she’d been chosen to play Storm, the racists came all out of the woodworks. She was too short, too chubby, too dark, too black. And Summer didn’t care, not a bit.

“Even,—and I’ll tell you guys this, when I first started my SS training, that’s what I call it, SS for Storm Shape, there was a—person who worked for Marvel at the time who came to visit me while I was training.” She smiled thinking back on that day. She could still recall it so clearly. “He basically was pissed because to him, I still looked the same, fat and out of shape.” She adjusted her top and shifted in her bed. “That same day, I deadlifted and bench-pressed over 200lbs” She paused for effect. “What I need for people to stop doing is stop fucking projecting—and I’m going to cuss in this, so if you don’t like it, oh well. I work for Disney, but I’m a grown ass woman, and I’m going to say what I want.”

I am screaming. Summer said we getting alll the tea today!

So, it’s wrong to point out that someone is physically unhealthy now, cool?

The problem is that no one wants to see a fat superhero. It’s not realistic.

^^^^ Tell me you have a small dick without actually telling me you have a small dick.

“I saw Lizzo, whom I adore, post a Tik Tok where she basically said that she workouts to have the body she wants not what ya’ll want, and honestly? Same. She said that her body type is no one’s fucking business, and that’s so true. Ya’ll love to hop on this internet and pick apart people you don’t even know and criticize bodies you don’t even have to live in and move around with. And for what?” She shook her head, slamming her fist into her open palm as she spoke. She was fully invested now. “I know we in quarantine, but damn, pick another hobby cause being a bully is not it, sweetie.”

I really needed to hear this today.

Using Lizzo as a point of reference makes everything you’re saying null and void. Lizzo is clearly overweight and at risk for diabetes, heart disease, just to name a few…..

I been saying this! You can’t look at a person and say they’re unhealthy.

Bodies come in so many forms, and all are beautiful.

“Now, I bring all this up because a lot of people were commenting on my Buss It challenge and pointing out the fact that I’ve gained weight, and guess fucking what? I have, and you know what else?” She leaned over to whisper while covering her mouth with her hands for focused effect. “I don’t care.”

Summer laughed and shook her head. “As others have pointed out as well, yes, we have a gym in our house. I 1000% acknowledge the fact that having the resources that I do as a celebrity and someone who has money puts me in a different category. Hell, my husband has a whole fitness app. I recognize that. If I wanted to keep up with my workouts, emphasis on wanted, I could have. I own up to that, but I just didn’t feel like it, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is to send and leave mean messages calling me all kinds of names.”

Summer had thick skin. She always had. Growing up with her family, who always ensured to feed her self esteem and make sure she knew that she was beautiful, definitely paid off. It was just a combination of quarantine and not having a lot of opportunities to keep herself busy with work that had her feeling some type of way.

“And that’s something else I wanted to bring up.” She blew out another breath and tried to gather her emotions. This was the subject she was almost certain she’d grow teary eyed discussing. “I love my husband to death. My children are everything. Christopher’s family is like my own, but— I haven’t seen my family, like my mom, grandma, brothers, etc in almost a year.” She paused, dwelling on that. Almost an entire year since she’d been able to physically hug and interact with the people who made her who she was. “And I’ve always made it clear how much I fucking love my family. I live in Australia. I can’t do a drive by with grandma so I and my kids can at least see her on the doorstep.” She quieted again, eyes darting off as she quietly cursed. “I’m trying really hard not to cry right now.”

Please don’t cry, bestie.

This is the side of quarantine that people don’t talk about enough.

Has this woman never heard of FaceTime????

I feel her pain. I live in Europe, and my family is in the states. This quarantine has been brutal.

My grandma died from COVID, and I couldn’t even go to the funeral. Summer is bringing up a good point.

“Damn,” Summer chuckled bitterly and wiped at the tears that fell. “I’m okay, I promise. I just bring this up because quarantine has also been very hard for me in that aspect. At certain points, I’ve been down, I’ve been in my head a lot, and I just was not, for the most part, in a space where I felt like I had to keep up my fitness regimen. And that’s okay. I put my mental wellbeing ahead of making sure my body is socially acceptable. Sue me.”

I really appreciate her honesty.

Summer never goes beyond surface level in interviews, so seeing her this vulnerable is really surprising.

Are we supposed to feel bad for her? She’s rich. She can afford whatever help she needed.

These comments are not passing the vibe check.

Ya’ll are all mental health advocates, but when a black woman is opening up about her struggle, it’s discarded?

“And let me make this clear too, I have an amazing husband who is so patient and so kind. He’s one of the best people I can go to when my anxiety hits, so I don’t want this to come across as me complaining that I’ve been alone. I have him and our children. I just miss the rest of my family. That’s all.” She dried her eyes and started to read the comments, unsurprised by the mixed reaction. She expected as such and was unaffected. At least until she saw one comment.

@ChrisEvans: ❤️❤️❤️

“Evans!” Summer wasn’t expecting to see his name pop up. It’d been such a task convincing him to join IG, let alone teaching him how to operate it. “Let’s go live.”

Not my husband and wife in my head about to go live!!!!

Imagine being able to call Chris Evans your best friend

I still say they smashed idc

It’s Christopher Jamal Evans hopping on this live for me.

^^^ I’m so sick of y’all with that shit.

“Let me try to add him,” Summer spoke to herself, scrolling through the comments to find his so she could request him. “Alright, I requested him. Let’s see if he answers.”

She wondered if she should have sent him a text asking if he was available when he appeared on her screen, effectively splitting it with her on the top and him on the bottom.

“Punk.”

“Kid.”

Summer smiled and greeted, “Hi, best friend.”

He chuckled. “How you doing, Summer?”

“Clearly not as good as the people watching,” she chimed. Summer saw nothing but heart eyes and hearts in the comments. “These people really love you. You truly are a manipulative bastard. He’s an asshole, guys.”

“Don’t be jealous, Summer. It’s so unbecoming of you.”

“You can go to hell.”

“Language,” he playfully reprimanded. “Where are the kids?”

“At preschool. Things are finally starting to open back up over here. Thank God.” She clasped her hands together. “Y’all, please wear masks. Don’t be Karen’s.”

Chris laughed, grabbing his chest. “We’re getting there, Summer.”

“The lies you tell,” she countered. “Don’t A Starting Point, me. Ya’ll are far from getting there, and I’m tired of it. I wanna see my family.”

He sighed. “I know, but how are you feeling today?”

“I got rid of the kids, so that’s definitely a weight lifted,” she answered honestly, laughing when she saw judgmental comments in the chat. “Listen, if you’re a parent, you know where I’m coming from. You love your kids, but my god, sometimes you just need some space.”

“As soon as this all blows over, I told you to send em’ by me for a couple of weeks.”

“Best friend, I already purchased their tickets.” He laughed. “As soon as I get the green light, they are all yours. Feel free to keep them.”

“You guys see how she is?” He pointed to Summer, leaning and squinting to read what was being said. “I do love kids, especially the twins, they’re amazing.”

“He is really really great with them, guys,” Summer added. “One thing about Evans, he’s patient as hell and really, just a big kid. Why do you think him and Christopher get along so well? 40 going on 4.”

“I resent that.”

“Is it a lie though?”

He hesitated. “No.” They both laughed.

I’m loving the dynamic between these two so much.

Is it just me or are they flirting with each other…..

Ain’t nothing inappropriate about this conversation. Ya’ll are reaching…

Ya’ll remember that blind item that came out years ago alleging Chris (Evans) was the biological father of the twins? Hmm…..

^^^^^This kind of bullshit is the reason we’re in a global pandemic.

As always, Summer and Evans ignored any foolery that was being dropped in the comments when she caught a comment that didn’t contain some ridiculous rumor.

“Yes, it is true that Evans and Christopher weren’t allowed to do press together anymore. Ya’ll, they literally could not stay serious for more than a minute. I felt so bad for the poor interviewers.”

“Hey, we were not that bad,” Evans protested, his Boston accent more prominent.

She gasped. “You guys were terrible, Evans, and you know it. I was so mad when they put me with ya’ll those few times. I could barely hear the interviewers over your laughing and stupid commentary that literally no one asked for.”

“We did not.”

“There’s deadass video proof, Evans.”

“Fake news.”

She opened her mouth but caught herself. “I was about to say something.”

He laughed and asked, “Do you remember how we all got drunk before the Infinity War premiere?”

“No, ya’ll got drunk. I was big and pregnant, remember?”

“No,” he dismissed. “You were drinking with us.”

“Evans, how was I drinking when I was pregnant?” She challenged and reminded. “I got drunk with ya’ll for the Endgame premiere, not Infinity War.”

“That’s right,” he remembered and chuckled. “You think we’ll get in trouble for saying this?”

She shrugged with one shoulder. “You’re dead, Christopher never gets in trouble for anything, and I do what I want. I think we’re good.”

Kevin Feige watching this live right now like 🥴🥴🥴🥴

I never realized how arrogant she is……

LMAO. Not the whole cast showing up drunk to the biggest premiere of their lives.

Chris Evans is too damn fine to be approaching 40 and still single.

Their friendship is so goals omg

@ChrisHemsworth: Snitches

Summer’s jaw dropped as she caught the last comment, swiping up to click the name and make sure that she was reading correctly. “Christopher, what the hell are you doing on my live?”

Evans brows furrowed. “Hemmy is here? Shouldn’t he be working?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Summer supplied. “And how long have you been watching?”

@ChrisHemsworth: Long enough.

She smiled nervously and looked off to the side. “I feel weird now. I don’t like when he watches my lives.”

“Aren’t you guys married?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be shutting the fuck up?”

Evans lifted his hands in a defensive manner. “Touchy subject, I see.” They shared another laugh as he cleared his throat. “Why don’t you add him now? I’m supposed to be helping Scott cook.”

“My favorite Evans,” she gushed and furrowed her brows. “You, cooking? Since when?”

“Get out of here.” He waved her off and reminded. “I’m not the one who constantly causes near fires when in the kitchen.”

“So, you really just putting all my business out there like that?”

“Summer, it’s not secret to anyone that you can’t cook for shit.”

“Wow, it really be your own best friends.”

He chuckled. “Love you, kid.”

“Love you too, punk,” she blew a kiss. “I’ll text ya’ later.”

“Alright.” He smiled for the camera. “Thanks for having me everyone.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said jokingly. Evans and Summer said goodbye one last time before he left the live. She blew out a breath and ran her hand through her hair. “Baby, comment something so I can add you. It’s too many comments to wade through.”

Summer adjusted her phone and checked the time on the clock on the wall. It’d been a while since the kids were away at school, and she didn’t want to get so caught up that she was late picking them up.

@ChrisHemsworth: I can’t. I’m too drunk.

Summer released a mixture of a laugh and a snort reading his comment. “You are so damn petty.” She clicked his name and adjusted her outfit while waiting for him to answer. She almost cursed when it seemed like he wasn’t going to join, only for her to smile when his face appeared on her screen.

“Hi,” she greeted in a soft voice with a small smile.

“Hello, Sandcastle.”

“Did you just—I swear to god, it’s always something with you.” Summer rubbed her temples and shook her head. Christopher smiled in response. “Why aren’t you working?”

“I am.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“If you’re working, how are you talking to me?” She asked, sassily.

“Umm, a little thing called multitasking, ever heard of it?”

“Wow. You are an asshole.”

“That’s mean.”

“You’re mean.”

“Christopher, you are literally a child.”

“Does a child have muscles like this?” He flexed, and Summer stilled. Christopher stayed in ridiculous shape, but this was another level. He’d never been this massive, and she wasn’t too proud to admit that. Just not aloud.

She faked a yawn. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”

They really just be roasting each other all the time, and I’m here for it.

Summer must be legally blind because this man is stupid fine tf

It’s gotta be steroids. That’s not natural.

^^^^^He’s the god of thunder.

Summer rolled her eyes at the typical nature of the comments. These were the reasons she limited her time on social media and especially stayed away from reading the comments. Her attention was redirected to the top of her phone. It was a text from Christopher asking her to call him.

“But we’re—oh, I get it.” She realized he wanted to talk to her, not her and her tens of millions of followers. “Alright, guys, I’m gonna get off here so I can talk to my husband, alone.”

“She just doesn’t want to share me with you all, that’s all.”

“Don’t even start, Christopher,” she lectured while he laughed and got serious, for a minute tops.

“Hope you all are taking care and staying safe,” he spoke honestly. “And we’ll talk to you soon.”

Summer waved and smile. “Bye, guys. Remember to be kind.” Summer offered a final smile before ending the live. Closing up the app, she moved to open FaceTime and called up Christopher. He answered almost immediately. “You know I hate when you watch my Lives. Now, how much did you see?”

“Enough to know you’re coming to see me tonight.”

She laughed aloud. “Funny.”

“I’m serious, Summer.” Focusing on him, she realized that there was no humor in his voice nor his expression. Summer also noticed that he didn’t have the Thor wig on yet, which was probably why he was able to go live with her. He was waiting to get into hair and makeup. “Leave the kids with Liam. It’s not like he’s doing anything.”

“Christopher!”

“What? Is he not a professional unemployed bastard.”

Summer’s smile remained as she shook her head. “You are so mean.”

“I’ll handle the flight arrangements. You, my beautiful wife, just make sure you get on the jet so I can handle you.”

“Christopher, you’re working. People with everyday jobs don’t just up and show up to their spouses workplace because they miss them or need a break from the kids. That’s how folks get fired.”

Christopher started to move around, walking somewhere, she realized. “What are you doing?”

“Hey, Tike.”

Summer’s eyes widened slightly. “Christoper!”

“Sup, man?” Taika asked casually, as Summer laughed again. Taika Waititi was such a character.

“You mind if Summer comes up for a few days?”

“Sure, man,” he replied almost right away. “Bring the kids and chickens too.”

“I am not bringing those damn chickens,” she immediately protested.

Christopher made a sound. “Ha, so you are coming!”

“I didn’t say that.”

Taika joined Christopher so that he was in camera. “Hey, Summer, why don’t you come on join? You can have a cameo. Chickens, too.”

She rubbed her temples. Taika’s and Chris’s friendship would never not make sense to her. They were cut from the same cloth. “One, hey. Two, I was already in Ragnarok. I’m good on the cameos. Three, what is with ya’ll and those creepy looking chickens?”

“Whoa, creepy? What did the chickens ever do?”

“Exist,” Summer answered dryly. She still hadn’t forgiven Evans and Christopher for convincing her to let the kids keep those damn things. Her home was becoming more and more of a farm with each animal that joined the household.

“Tough crowd, that one, ehh?”

“Always,” Christopher agreed.

“I can hear you both,” she reminded and groaned loudly. Summer would love to spend a few days away from the kids. Chris would be working, yes, but she’d at least get some time for herself. Even better, alone adult time with her husband. That had also been a bit tricky during quarantine because of her rambunctious twins. Still, she disliked using her status as a celebrity to gain things, and this would definitely be a case of using status for pull. “I don’t know….”

Deep in her thoughts, she hadn’t realized that Chris had walked away and returned to wherever he was prior to finding Taika, most likely his trailer.

“What if you only stayed a night?” Chris tried to bargain. “The flight is only an hour and a half. That will give you more than enough time to come here, let me fix you dinner, run you a nice bath, maybe get in the good ole’ horizontal tango—”

“You know I hate when you call it that,” she reminded quietly, admitting. “That does sound nice, though.”

“Or, I can come to you—“

“Absolutely not. Christopher, you’re already doing so much back and forth as it is.” One of the good things to come out of quarantine, to Summer at least, was that it forced many people to take a much needed break. Her husband was one of those people. Christopher had been working nonstop since she met him. Project after project, film after film, many of them Marvel films, which put a whole other layer of difficulty what with the strenuous physical requirements. Even now as he shot Thor 4, he was in the best shape he’d ever been, muscles nearly tearing the cotton of his clothes. He looked amazing, but it was what they couldn’t see that she was starting to grow a little concerned over. Christopher wasn’t as young as he once was. He had to slow down, eventually.

Summer realized this would be a perfect chance to have a conversation about just that with him, which all but led her to her final decision.

“Alright,” she conceded, finger up as she made her demands. “Three days, and I stay at the house while you shoot. We may be returning to normal, but we’re still in a pandemic. I won’t go around anyone except you.”

“So I get you all to myself? Hardly consider that a stipulation.”

“And…we talk.”

“After the horizontal tango—“

“I swear to God, if you don’t stop calling it that—“

“What was that, sweetheart? I wasn’t listening.” She saw that he had paused the screen, causing Summer to remember that she hadn’t even consulted with the babysitter. “Making flight arrangements for you.”

“Shit, let me text Liam and make sure he’s available.”

“He gets reception in the box?”

“Christopher! For the last time, your brother is not living in a box.”

“Do you know that for certain?”

“Goodbye, Christopher,” she prepared to end the call before smiling softly. “I love you, Christopher, and thank you.”

He winked. “I’ll always do anything for you, Summer. Anything.” A beat. “Don’t forget to leave the clothes. You won’t need them.”

“Christopher!”

[eusuntgratie]

Maybe quarantine is getting to him, a bit. He promised himself he'd never watch a CW show after, you know, being in one, but Dylan... well, he's going through it. And by going through it, he'll admit that Tyler's ass in that suit is going to destroy him.

He thought he'd watch the first episode and it'd be good to catch up on an old friend's work, they don't talk as often as they used to and there was always a tinge of 'almost but not quite' to their interactions that left things slightly sour. Like, maybe if he'd said or done something differently -

Anyway.

He didn't, so, they don't talk that much anymore. It's fine. He watches Tyler's show and he wouldn't admit it if you paid him but if his hand ends up down his sweats half the time, teasing, biting down on his bottom lip as he tries to watch through half lidded eyes as fuckin' Tyler, who knew him as an obnoxious teenager and didn't hate him, god, fuck, who put up with so much shit, and somehow still looks like Michelangelo took a chisel to a block of marble on a particularly good day and created a specimen of a man.

Dammit.

It's becoming a problem.

Tyler should not be this attractive in spandex. Objectively, Dylan knows a lot of people are attractive in spandex, that's kinda the point, but Tyler is ridiculous. And Dylan wants wants wants, and cannot have, and so he's stuck and well and truly not fucked in the way he wants to be.

Maybe quarantine is getting to him, a bit.

He's doing press for Love and Monsters, which, huh, is out on Netflix, who knew, the little movie that could, and someone, some interviewer from somewhere on a shitty wifi connection asks him if he watches Superman and Lois.

He can pretend it's the video that freezes for a few seconds but he has to stutter out an answer eventually.

"I mean, it's Hoechlin man, you gotta watch for that ass, right?"

Fuckin' brain to mouth filter is for shit these days. He has got to start talking to actual human beings again.

"Sorry, can you cut that?" He says, but the connection drops and fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

He should email his publicist and inform them that there's a shit storm coming their way and all the old bullshit will be returning in full force but -

A part of him misses that. That people actually thought he could get with Tyler. That Tyler would look at him and pick him, out of anybody he could have. It felt powerful, and when Tyler didn't rebuke it, it felt -

Something.

So, he just kind of lives with the low level anxiety of knowing that it's going out into the world, and deletes Twitter from his phone (again).

He might, he decides, just live in his bed and do the whole John Lennon thing, like, maybe try start a revolution or something. But that seems kind of difficult and he doesn't think he has the ability to pull it off. Tyler probably could. Goddamn, Tyler could turn a nation with the raise of an eyebrow.

Dylan's phone rings and it's - Tyler. Which. Is not unexpected, but at the same time, he can't say he was expecting it. It's complex.

"Hey," he says, like, this is very normal. I waxed lyrical about your ass and now you're on the phone to me. All very normal.

"You like the suit, huh?" Tyler asks, and there's a catch in his voice, it's rough and kinda breathy like it'd get after Tyler had been running. Except that isn't what Tyler's doing, Dylan doesn't think. The cut off whine confirms it, and fuck, oh fuck, this is - he doesn't know what to do with this.

"I like the suit, god, you have no idea," Dylan says, and feels the blood draining southwards, his body fizzing and alive for the first time in months. "The things I'd - Ty, you have no idea."

"Some idea," Tyler grits out, "think you like my ass."

Dylan whimpers and palms himself through his sweatpants.

"I'd - fuck - I'd worship that ass. Ty, I would. I'd do - the things I'd do. Anything. Anything for you. You know, you have to know. Before, and now, and - fuck, Ty, you're so perfect, like -" Dylan doesn't know what he's saying, what he's doing, except he's already on the edge and he can hear Tyler's breathing and it's doing things to him that he could never have imagined.

"Want you to. Want you to - Dyl, need you so bad, need you, need you - fuck, fuck - " Tyler cuts off with a whine and Dylan shakes through his own orgasm, coming hard and fast, blinking away spots from his eyesight.

"The fuck was that Ty?" He asks, suddenly nervous. He wipes his hand on his sweats and notices how sweaty his other hand is on the phone.

He hears Tyler laugh. It's warm and feels good to hear.

"You fuck me up," Tyler says, "you always did. Could never get you out of my head. Still can't. You were the best thing that never happened to me."

"You fuck me up too," Dylan says, honest. "Always wanted - more. So much more. Thought we could've been something."

"We can," Tyler says, "we can. God, Dyl, we can. If you want - fuck, we can try this. We could work."

"We could work," Dylan repeats.

"Yeah," he can hear Tyler's smile.

"I - take care, okay?" Dylan says.

"I'll see you soon," Tyler says, and it's a promise.

"Yeah," Dylan says, and Tyler breathes on the end of the line for a couple of seconds before hanging up. Dylan cradles the phone in his hand loosely.

They could work.

Yeah.

HOBRIEN ANON THIS IS A WORK OF GENIUS thank you for your service on this fine day we love you

🥰🥵😍🍑🍑🍑💦💦

[kindahoping4forever]

Under The Christmas Lights // Ashton Irwin

Cass and I are having a blast so we hope everyone has been enjoying Hoe For The Hoe-lidays as much as we are. Her Cal blurb for the day, Baby Please Come Home, is up at @cal-puddies​ and it is one of my favorites from her, so you should definitely check it out if you haven’t already. (And as always, links to all of this week’s blurbs are in the event masterlist below!) Stay tuned tomorrow for our last set of blurbs and our grand finale on Monday: a galaxybrain co-write I guarantee you do not want to miss.

Extra thanks to Cass for helping me figure out what this story wanted to be. The overall concept remained but the structure, character details and tone of it took on a life of its own and morphed drastically as I was writing it. 

Warnings: Established slow burn with Neighbor!Ash, mentions of quarantine, a healthy helping of thirst and sexual tension, implied consensual voyeurism and exhibitionism, mutual masturbation

Word Count: 4048

Hoe For The Hoe-lidays Masterlist

Masterlist // Taglist and Ko-Fi linked above

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

"Quite the festive display you have there."

He stops at the end of his driveway, popping an earbud out as he turns towards your voice. Your next door neighbor, Ashton, stands in his yard, looking at you expectantly as you sit on your front porch, gesturing towards the freshly hung Christmas decorations all along his house.

"Oh thanks! I'm actually not even done. Waiting on a few more pieces to be delivered, really trying to merry things up, you know?" He answers, turning to collect today’s mail.

"Oh really? Everything's already so bright and eye-catching… up so early too," you punctuate your evaluation with a sip of coffee.

He smiles at you and you’re almost embarrassed to say you feel your heart skip a beat. You admit you had a bit of a crush on him when you moved in last year and for a while it seemed plausible you could’ve ended up more than just friendly neighbors. But that hope was yet another thing 2020 took from you.

Even though you were home more because of quarantine, you understandably had to interact with him less and less; gone were the days of “accidentally” baking too many cookies and walking over to offer him a plate or hoping your mail gets misdelivered so he’ll have an excuse to come visit you. These days, your visits were relegated to socially distanced greetings over the backyard fence and happenstance meetings like this.

“Yeah… I know it’s early in the season but I thought after the year we’ve all had, a little extra Christmas cheer couldn’t hurt,” he shrugs. He looks like he’s about to elaborate but then he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket; he apologetically but sincerely says, “Have a good night” and then scurries back to his house before you can get another word in.

It’s another couple of weeks before your next encounter, one night when you’re bringing the garbage can back up the drive and you hear Ash’s voice greeting you from his side of the fence.

“Those decorations certainly escalated, didn’t they?” You ask, amusedly peering up at his colorful house; the flickering icicle lights on the trim were a new addition, along with a big glowing snowflake and star sitting on his balcony.

“Does that mean you like it?” He laughs delightedly, walking up his own driveway. Your brain involuntarily appreciates how he looks with the lights reflecting off the dark wool trench coat he’s wearing; his hair is a lot longer than the last time you saw him, beard much darker and fuller. He looks good. You try not to think about it.

“Very pretty… not anything I would put up, but it suits you,” you comment, hoping your tone landed on the right side of the line between flirty and rude; you’re so out of practice at this, you’re not quite sure.

He takes it in stride. “That’s fair,” he chuckles. “No decorations for you this year?”

“Oh, I’ve got a wreath on my door,” you gesture. “May or may not get a tree. Little touches like that, things just for me; that feels appropriate but full on decorating this year… it just doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel true to what we’re all experiencing.”

He furrows his brow. “Do you think my decorations are dishonest?” He asks, looking interested in your perspective.

“Not yours specifically, lots of people in the neighborhood are doing the same thing, some started even earlier than you did,” you carefully try to explain. “It just feels like surrounding ourselves with these crazy festive decorations… it’s like we’re working very hard to convince each other, maybe even ourselves, that this year isn’t any different when that couldn’t be farther from the truth… it is different and it feels weird not to acknowledge that.”

You look up, hoping you haven’t offended him, that you don’t see like too much of a grinch; you find yourself surprised at how relieved you feel when he nods thoughtfully as he considers your point of view.

“I actually agree, people are definitely using the decorations as a bit of a coping mechanism,” Ashton states, leaning on the fence as he ponders. “But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I know for me, after spending so much time being upset that I was trapped in my house this year, I figured I should do what I can to make my house feel happy for once. Especially if I’m gonna spend Christmas alone in it.”

You marvel at how despite the heavy turn the conversation has taken, his face never darkens, his warm and cheerful aura never falters. “Oh. I actually hadn’t thought of it like that,” you admit, playing with the drawstring of your hoodie, wondering why you care that you’re feeling vulnerable around him. “I’ll be alone this year too. I guess it just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me so I don’t like reminding myself that it is that time of year. If that makes sense.’

He gives you a sad but empathetic look. “I totally get it. I felt like that for most of the year… birthdays, seasons changing… I didn’t want to admit any of it was happening,” he shares. “But I don’t know… not to seem like I have it all figured out, but if we can’t change how we react to the environment we’re in, I think there’s something to be said for changing the environment itself. It’s important to acknowledge what you feel but also letting in even a little positivity can do wonders.”

You offer him a soft smile, letting him know you appreciate his encouragement. “Even just seeing the wreath on my door every morning is a nice moment,” you confess.

Ash smiles back and you feel warmer than if you’d gone inside and cozied up in front of your fireplace. “See? A couple strings of lights, a little tree. Maybe break out with that big yellow Minion you put out on your lawn when you moved in last Christmas,” he teases, lightening the mood.

“OK, first of all, it’s not a Minion, it’s Woodstock from the Peanuts, thank you,” you laugh, shaking your head. “I’m surprised you remember that.”

“Well, it was quite the first impression,” he shrugs and you can’t help but notice how broad his shoulders look in that coat.

You lay in bed that night, the night’s events on a loop in your mind; you ended up standing outside and chatting over the fence for more than an hour. It was nice and stirred a sense of normalcy in you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. It stirred other feelings in you as well but you knew there wasn’t any sense in dwelling on that since it’d be a long time before either of you would be able to do anything about that.

A few days later, you hear a muffled murmur that sounds a lot like your name while you’re washing dishes; you look out the kitchen window to see Ashton waving at you from his patio. He’s shirtless and sweaty, having clearly just finished his afternoon yoga session. Not that you had taken to timing your kitchen chores to coincide with his workouts.

You signal to him to give you a minute and then you head out the backdoor to chat. “What’s up?” You say as casually as possible, willing yourself to keep your eyes trained on his face and not the sweat dripping over his defined muscles or how low his athletic shorts are hanging.

“Your house is looking nice,” he gestures at the colored lights you recently hung around your window frames. “Little touches, just for you, like you said. I like it.”

You beam at him, impressed that he remembered your words from the other night. “You were right, I do feel a bit brighter having put those up,” you share, stuffing your hands in your hoodie pocket to keep from fidgeting, thinking about how much you’d like to brush the curls out of his eyes.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he replies jovially. “I actually have something for you.” He gestures for you to back up as he ducks inside his backdoor, retrieving the package off his kitchen table; he walks back out and smiles when he sees you’ve also turned around so he can surprise you. He sets the box over the fence and returns to his patio; he waits a beat longer than necessary to give you the all clear, he had to give himself a second to appreciate your ass in those leggings.

You spin around and see a box containing an inflatable light up Minion wearing a Santa hat. “Are you kidding me?!” You burst out laughing, picking up the gift to inspect.

“Figured Woodstock could use a buddy,” he laughs, shrugging. “Ordered it when I came inside after our talk the other night, just in case you changed your mind about decorating.”

You feel yourself blush. “Wish I could offer you more than a smile and a thank you,” you blurt, before realizing how forward that sounded. “I mean, like a hug or dinner or something…” You laugh nervously and look to see him trying and failing to hold back a devilish smirk.

“Well. When the time is right, I’d love to take you up on that offer… for the hug or the something,” he flirts.

The next day, you make Christmas cookies and leave some in his mailbox when he goes for his morning run. When he comes to tape a thank you note to your front door, he catches a glimpse of you through the window, decorating the tabletop Christmas tree you bought for yourself and you share a nice moment.

You gave him your phone number that time pre-lockdown when he went out of town and you watered his lemon tree; he finally starts using it, texting you on and off throughout the day and it’s nice to feel like you finally have someone to share with.

It’s when you’re in bed at night, texting away, that you always wish you could share even more with him. Your phone says he’s typing a response and you turn over to stare across the room at your bedroom window, the one facing his bedroom window. His curtains are drawn but you can see the soft glow of a bedside table lamp illuminating the room; you wonder what color the lamp is. Wonder if he sleeps on the left or right side of his bed. Wonder what he’s wearing while he’s typing his messages to you. If he’s wearing anything at all. Wonder if he wants to ask you the same thing. You lay there, wondering, until your phone buzzes again and the cycle continues.

You carry on like this for the next couple of weeks, collecting feelings and building tension. A few days before Christmas, you hurry outside to collect the packages that were just delivered by the mailbox, rushing to bring them in before the holiday Zoom party you have planned with friends.

You stop to text your pals you’ll be a few minutes late when you hear a sharp gasp behind you. You turn and see Ashton at the end of his driveway, eyes poring over you in the fitted green velvet wrap dress you’re wearing.

“You sure cleaned up for the mail delivery?” He jokes, trying to recover how clearly affected he is by the sight in front of him. You realize it’s the first time in months he’s seen you in anything besides hoodies and lounge pants.

You laugh, walking to the fence. “I have a Zoom party to attend but I didn’t want these boxes sitting out here all night,” you explain, instinctively starting to touch your face out of nervousness before stopping yourself for the sake of the dark red lipstick you have on; you’re not used to wearing makeup these days.

“Well… you look fuckin’ incredible,” he breathes, making no attempt to disguise the way his gaze is travelling up and down your body. He runs his hand through his hair and clears his throat, willing himself to move on. “I won’t keep you, then. I just wanted to ask you something.”

You lock eyes with him and feel your heart speed up; usually you’d have a quippy reply to shoot back to him but today, all you can think of is the heat you feel between the two of you. Instead, you nod attentively, trying your best to act like your mind isn’t distracting you with daydreams of walking around to his side of the fence and leaping into his arms.

“I know we’re both alone for the holidays… wish I’d thought of this sooner, so we could’ve done something about Christmas, actually… but say if we were to properly quarantine - you know, like, no outside contact at all quarantine - would you want to spend New Year’s together?” He’s speaking quickly, rushing it out as if he’s afraid he’ll lose his nerve and yet he presents his proposal with an assurance that almost hypnotizes you.

You can’t keep from grinning ear to ear but you still try to play it cool. “That could be fun,” you answer, grateful. You joke, “God, I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at a party for New Year’s, what do people even do to celebrate at home?”

Without missing a beat, he suggestively replies, “I’m sure we can think of something.”

You have fun with your friends on Zoom but in the back of your mind you can’t stop thinking about the way that Ash looked at you, the honest hunger in his eyes. You keep your curtains open much later than usual, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, wondering if the lights around the window will catch his eye and he’ll stop to try and catch a glimpse of you.

New Year’s can’t get here fast enough as far as you’re concerned but time feels like it’s moving slower than ever. Christmas finally arrives and you wake up bright and early to Zoom your family to open the presents they sent you. Afterwards, you decide to give yourself the gift of going back to sleep; when you wake up a few hours later, you tidy up the living room, gathering the trash bags of torn wrapping paper and ribbons to take out to the garbage.

You step outside and note Ashton isn’t on his patio like he is most mornings; you’re just about to head back inside when you hear a warm “Merry Christmas” from over the fence.

You turn to see him wearing a smile brighter than his extravagant Christmas lights display and yours combined. “How’s your morning?” He asks earnestly.

You smile back. “It’s good! Slept in a little, Zoomed with the fam. Lowkey but nice.”

“Ohhh. That’s why you weren’t at the window this morning,” he muses. You look at him quizzically and a sheepish look washes over his face. “I’ve maybe noticed that you seem to like tidying up the kitchen around the same time every morning… maybe sometimes when I’m ready to start my stretches, I’ll check to see if you’re at the window yet. Maybe sometimes if you aren’t there yet, I’ll wait.”

You feel yourself flush, flattered. “Here I thought I was being voyeuristic when all along you’re just an exhibitionist,” you smirk.

He chuckles knowingly. "And you're leaving your curtains open all hours of the night for aesthetic reasons?"

You're surprised you don't feel embarrassment, just a sense of pride and overwhelming desire. "You're welcome," you say coyly.

Completely devoid of self-consciousness or hesitation, Ash says seriously, "I'd give anything to come over there and kiss you right now. Touch you. Just feel you."

Your breath catches but you manage to get out, "Six days. Just gotta get through this week. Somehow."

The interaction plays over and over in your mind throughout the course of the day: the confident way he told you he wanted you, the way his gaze seemed to devour you entirely, the simultaneous relief and ache you felt knowing that the yearning that’s been threatening to overtake you has him floundering too.

Six days is a long time, especially when you’ve not so much as grazed another person since the beginning of the year, not to mention you’ve been waiting to get to this place with Ash for over a year.

The idea enters your mind while you’re cleaning up your dinner dishes, peering out the kitchen window he’d freely admitted to using to perform for you. You slip out to the garage, finding the box with your usual Christmas decorations much more easily than you expected. You glance at his living room window, ensuring he’s occupied before heading up to your bedroom to set your plan in motion.

You add as many strings of lights to your bedroom window as you can fit: colored ones, white ones, blinking ones, the ones that get slowly brighter and then dim back down. You stand back and nod to yourself, pleased with your work. You’d certainly call this eye-catching.

You feel more excited than nervous when you see it’s already around the time that Ashton usually heads upstairs for the night. You see the light in his room go on and you wait impatiently, just long enough for you to wonder if you didn’t go far enough with your display. You jump as your phone buzzes on your nightstand with a text message.

“Feeling extra festive tonight?”

You chew your lip, weighing how to play this. “Wanted to be sure I had your attention.”

He types for what feels like a lifetime but all he ends up responding with is: “Oh?”

You push yourself off your bed and go stand in front of your window, responding, “I think I’ve figured out how we get through the next week.”

You see him through his window, shirtless and in his boxers, laying on the bed with his phone. He reads your message and runs his hand over his beard, lost in thought; his head turns towards the direction of your house, pondering, when he notices your illuminated figure. You see him sit straight up and stare in disbelief as it dawns on him that you’re standing at the window, dressed in a lace lingerie set that has him almost feeling dizzy from how fast the blood is rushing to his cock.

He walks over to his own window, needing a closer look; he groans as he takes in every detail: how the red color of the bra and panties contrasts against your skin, how the black lace trim accentuates your curves, how the strappy detailing of the underwear present you as a Christmas gift meant just for him to unwrap. The lights around your window cast a glow around you, making you look like even more of a holiday fever dream come to life.

His eyes meet yours and you hold his gaze as you run your hands slowly down your body; you start by trailing down your neck to the straps of your bra, tracing along the lace outline with your fingers. You give your breasts a firm squeeze as you run your palms over the cups, stopping to use your thumbnail to tease your nipples until they poke through the thin material. Your fingers dance down your torso, swirling around the lines of your belly, pulling at the waistband of your bottoms. You tauntingly skip over your hips entirely, moving to caress your thighs.

Your phone buzzes again and you pause your show to reach for it. “Wish it were me,” Ash’s confession reads.

“In my mind, it is,” you reply, sitting your phone aside to dip into your panties. You lick your lips, in awe of how aroused you are, how aroused you’ve been since you decided to create this situation.

Ashton gulps and if he wasn’t so blinded by lust, he would’ve laughed at how audible the sound was in his ears. He wants to text you back, wants you to know how he’s dying for this week to pass so he can ravish you with the attention you deserve, the attention he should’ve given you a long time ago. But he also doesn’t want your hand to stop moving inside your underwear, so he waits.

You spread your wetness around, teasing yourself slowly. You considered bringing your bullet vibe to the window with you but you figured you were going to be overwhelmed enough and you weren’t going to need any help getting off. You close your eyes as you trace around your clit, not allowing yourself to put much pressure on it just yet, not willing to risk having this be over too soon.

He sees you throw your head back in pleasure, eyes fluttering shut, lips swollen from sucking them between your teeth and he can’t take it anymore. He pulls his cock out through the hole in his boxers and starts stroking, exhaling in relief at how instantly good it feels; he spits in his hand to ease the friction at first but it only takes a few tugs for precum to start trickling from his tip. He groans and pumps faster, knowing this won’t take long.

You press a fingertip inside yourself and moan a lot louder than you expected; you open your eyes and notice his stare remains unwaveringly focused on you, only now his hand is working his cock. He moves rapidly up and down his shaft, seemingly unconcerned with taking it slow. Part of you wishes his movements would slow down so you could get a better look at his dick but you also love that he’s seemingly so turned on by the thought of having you that he needs immediate gratification.

He tries to keep up with you, matching you stroke for stroke as you continue working yourself up, hand speeding up inside your panties, hand pawing at your clothed breast. His rough grip catches on one of the veins running down his cock and he chokes out a strained curse; he notices your mouth keeps forming a perfect O shape as you react to your self pleasure and he lets out his own whimper as he imagines how heavenly your sounds must be.

“I can’t wait to hear you when I make you cum for me.” You softly whine as you read his latest text. You’re nearly there and your head is spinning at the deliberate nature of his words: “When” he makes you cum “for him.” You rub hard at your clit and feel that familiar burning ache building in your core. You swear your wetness increases tenfold as you feel the pulsing begin.

Ashton’s cock leaps in his hand as he witnesses your body tense and shake as your orgasm washes over you; he notices your lips murmuring something and the thought enters his mind that you could be saying his name. He hopes you are.

You’re still waiting for your heart rate to settle, realizing there’s no way it will as long as you’re watching Ash pull at his cock like that. One hand flies over his length, the other firmly clutching his balls; his hips start to move, fucking into his hand as he nears the edge. You’re captivated watching his abs tense, fluttering with intensity until suddenly they’re being coated with cum. The ropes streak his skin and you decide it’s too soon to text him to share how badly you want a taste.

He hangs his head in exhaustion, briefly ducking away from the window to grab a tissue off the dresser; he cleans himself off, tucks his cock back in his boxers and finally looks back up at you. You smile softly at each other, though you’re not sure of the tone; it’s not exactly shy and it’s not entirely wistful. Whatever it is, it’s nice. Hopeful? Satisfied. For now.

You text him, “It’s after midnight now. 5 days.” 

You see him shaking his head, smiling as he types. “Still too far away. Same time tomorrow?”

You grin, shooting off your response before blowing him a kiss goodnight. “Still too far away. Meet you here after yoga tomorrow.”

————-

Taglist issues again so my apologies if you get notif’d more than once (or not at all)

@mymindwide​ @suchalonelysunflower​​ @pxrxmoore​ @loveroflrh​ @ghostofmashton​ @sexgodashton​ @feliznavidaddycal​  

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@photochic18  @kouska901 @Indermeow  @dantord

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Quarantine: A Love Story{1}

Chris Evans x Reader Mini Series

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Angst, Tiny Bit of Slow Burn

Words: 4.9k

Note: Okay, so this ask/request came in and I was all prepped to write it as a one shot, but I had so many separate ideas that sprang to mind for it and from it. As of right now, I am going to play this one by ear. Hell, I might just keep writing it as long as we’re all in our quarantine/self-isolation. So, it might be one part every week, or I might change it. I honestly have no idea, so let’s start with calling it a mini-series and see where it goes. Thank you anon for the request, hope it’s cool I tweak, twist and stretch this out. I hope you guys enjoy this. Thank you for reading as always!!! ❤��❤️ 

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Pre-Quarantine, Friendmas, December 2019-

  “Hey, hey, hey Y/N in the house!”

 You rounded the corner with two bottles in hand. Once everyone saw you, they began cheering. Most of them rushed you, pulling you in for hugs and kisses. You smiled and chatted with them all.

“You look great!” Tara shouted above the music as she admired your skirt, thigh high stockings and ankle boots.

 “Thank you, Tara,” you squealed while giving her air kisses. “I come bearing the gift of alcohol!!” Those near you cheered their approval.

 You walked further inside the room that was lite up with Christmas lights. December twenty-fourth and fifth were for the families but December twenty-sixth was for the friends. This was the third annual Friendmas celebration, the day your group of friends got together to open presents, eat, drink and be merry.

 From the corner of your eye you saw Scott’s brother, Chris. He was sitting by the Christmas tree nursing a beer and staring at the lights as they danced. Your eyes scanned his body and took in his outfit. He always dressed so damn fresh and his hair was always perfect. Chris looked away from the tree over to you and you saw his jaw clench tightly. Nervousness overtook you and you took a breath. He sure could be intimidating, you thought. Chris’ eyes lingered on you for a few more moments. Just when you’d built up the nerve to go over to him, he looked away and back to the Christmas tree. So much for that, you thought.

From a few months after meeting him through Scott and interacting in the group of friends that he was included in you could have sworn he hated you. When you spoke he was always short with his responses. They were either one word or dull. When he looked at you it wasn’t for more than a few seconds and every time he looked at you his jaw was always clenched as if the mere sight of you pissed him off worse than his role in Not Another Teen Movie. You couldn’t understand it.

 “You okay?” Scott placed his hand on your shoulder as he stood beside you. You looked from Chris and to Scott with a wistful smile before you answered.

 “Yeah. Let’s eat,” you responded before walking off.

 Friendmas was a hit. The food was delicious, the conversation was fun, the presents were great. Everyone had a good time and that included Chris from the looks of him as he interacted with your friends. He spoke to everyone, well everyone but you. He always looked happy, well that was until he looked your way. He even danced with quite a few people, excluding you. You tried not to feel offended but deep down you were. You didn’t know why he hated you.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~

 -Pre-Quarantine, New Year’s Eve, January 2020-

  You were dressed to kill and more than ready to show just what a fine piece of ass you were. After climbing out of the Lyft your phone rang.

 “Hello?”

 “Y/N, where are you? You’re going to miss countdown,” Scott shouted into your ear.

 “Scott it’s not even eleven forty-five. I’m outside, I just got out of the car.”

“Finally, give them the code and they’ll let you in.”

 You walked to the four security guards. All of them turned and gave you the once over.

 “Diplomatic Relations.” It made you feel half like a loser and half like a spy. The guards nodded, opened the door for you and allowed you to pass.

 Once you walked inside you handed off your coat to the girl there that was checking them and stepped to the railing to watch what was happening down below. The space was filled with those who made it to Boston for Chris’ New Years Eve Bash. You recognized a few of his celebrity friends, men and women alike. Everyone was dressed to the nines and definitely cutting lose. From the top of the balcony you saw where Scott was. Just behind him was Chris sitting with Tara, nursing another drink. He looked up and looked at you. His eyes slowly raked over your body. From where you were standing you couldn’t make out the expression on his face. When his eyes met yours again you could make out the clench of his jaw.

 “You’ve got to be kidding me.” You felt your phone go off and checked it.

 MSG Scott: If you’ve posed long enough then maybe come down here where we are. Only if you’ve posed like Cleopatra long enough.

 You snorted and rolled your eyes. Scott always had the flair for the dramatic, maybe that was why you became such good friends so fast after reconnecting almost two years ago. Slowly you walked down the steps and made your way through the crowd. Before you got to your friends a hand gripped your wrist turning you to them. You came face to face with Sebastian Stan. He had a smile on his face, but even under the ever changing over head lights you could tell he’d had a lot to drink.

 “It’s Y/N, right?”

 “That’s right.”

 He smiled as he nodded and gave you a quick once over. “Wow, what an outfit.”

 “You like it?” You spun around to give him the full view. He smiled and rubbed his jaw as he gawked at you.

 “I like it very much. I can see why he’s so conflicted,” Sebastian muttered. You barely caught it but you caught it.

 “Excuse me? What? Who?”

 Sebastian only smiled before he zipped his lips and walked away disappearing in the crowd. You were confused by what he meant and not sure you’d even heard him right. Over the music you heard your name being shouted and you turned to continue your path to your friends. Once in the VIP are they were you greeted them all with hugs and cheek kisses. When you got to Chris he gave you a quick shoulder hug as you pressed your cheek to his. When you did that you could have sworn you heard a groan before he pulled away and sat back down. It sounded as if he was disgusted, or in pain.

 “You look hot, Y/N.” Scott’s partner complimented.

 “Thank you!”

 “He’s right, girl that dress is going to be the talk of the night,” Tara slid in. You smiled and laughed feeling embarrassment flush you.

 “Don’t be embarrassed. Embrace it, you’re hot! Right Chris,” Scott pressed further. Chris looked away from the crowd and back to you as if he hadn’t been listening.

 “What?”

 “Y/N, she’s hot right!” Scott’s partner had a wide smile on his face as he stood there expectantly. Chris looked at you and quickly looked over your outfit. You saw the scrunch of his nose, the clench of his jaw and the look that washed across his face as if he tasted something sour or rancid.

 “Eh, I guess.” With that he walked away and disappeared in the crowd. You stood there stunned. He’d managed to diss you while agreeing to a compliment. You were stunned.

 The remainder of the night was spent with you drinking way more than you should have and dancing like you had no worries. Every song that played you danced to. You didn’t care if it was Hip Hop, R&B, Pop or Country. As long as the beat was good you could twerk to it. No matter where you were in the room you could see Chris and every time you looked at him you felt salty and that salty feeling fueled your party marathon. You refused to pay him any attention, no matter how many girls he flirted with and no matter how frisky that got. You pretended not to care but for some reason, you cared the ball in the pit of your stomach said you did.

 By the time the countdown hit you were more than a little lit. You shouted down numbers beside your friends and a drink in hand ready to toast to the new year.

 “Five, Four, Three, Two, One! Happy New Year! Woooooooo!”

 You threw your hands in the air and cheered along with everyone else. Those who were there with partners kissed and embraced. You knocked back your drink and turned to go to the bar for another. You raised your glass as you got there and slid onto the stool. It was cold under your thighs thanks to your short skirt, but you didn’t mind. A few feet away you saw Chris and Sebastian talking. You rolled your eyes, crossed your legs and turned away as you waited for your drink. After a few seconds you could feel his eyes on you and it made you more than a little uneasy.

 “I’ve been watching you all night. I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t get a new year’s kiss.” You looked to you right and took in the tall brown skinned hottie before you. He looked familiar but you couldn’t tell where you’d seen him from.

 “What’s it to you?” He smiled and you saw the dimples in his cheeks and you couldn’t help but smile.

 “It’s bad luck to go into the new year without a kiss,” he informed. That was a pretty good line, you thought.

 “Let me guess, you’d like to give me the good luck I so deserve.” He opened his arms and shrugged giving you an even better view. He was muscular and dressed nicely. You thought about his offer and found no reason against it.

 “I prefer to know the name of men I put my lips on.” Again, he smiled then licked his lips.

 “Charles.”

 “Let’s see what luck you bring Charles.”

 You turned to him and uncrossed your legs giving him a slim opening to come closer. When Charles stepped into the space you gave he bent and claimed your lips. What started as a sweet, innocent kiss quickly took off once you released he could kiss. Charles placed his hand on your exposed thigh and teased your tongue. Holy shit, you thought.

 Before the kiss ended, Charles nibbled your bottom lip then pulled back. You were utterly stunned. He was literally tall, dark and handsome and could kiss like no one’s business. When you looked at him again he smirked telling you he knew just what a quadruple threat he was.

 “So tell me, what kind of luck did I bring?”

 “The best kind, but I might need more to carry me through the year.” He smiled and nodded. From behind him you saw Sebastian and Chris watching. The look on Chris’ face was one that was not amused. His jaw was clenched and eyes steely cold. You didn’t think anything of it though. After downing your drunk, you nodded to Charles as you stood and walked away.

 You rang in New Year’s with a bang that night, courtesy of Charles.

  -Pre-Quarantine, Valentine’s Day-AKA: Single’s Awareness Day, February 2020-

  “Cheers!”

 Everyone hit their glasses together before they downed their drinks. After you finished the remainder of the dessert before you. You moaned loving the taste of caramel and the fruity flavors. Once the plate was empty you licked the fork clean.

 “Uh, really Y/N?” You realized all eyes were on you.

 “What!?”

 “It’s done,” Scott declared.

 “I know, it’s just so damn good.”

 “Or maybe you were imagining it was something else,” Scott teased. Your jaw dropped and everyone around you broke out in squeals and chuckles.

 “Wow Scott, just wow.” You reached for the bottle of champagne and refilled your glass.

 “What? I didn’t say anything wrong. Why are you even here? It’s called single’s awareness day. You’re not even single.”

 “Says the man who’s booed up as he speaks,” you countered giving him a cocky look.

 “Where is your boyfriend?”

 “He is not my boyfriend thank you very much.”

 “Oh so the fact that he’s been hanging around since New Years and you see him almost every weekend at your place and you going to his place in New York to get the D just doesn’t mean anything?” Your eyes bugged out. He really just shouted you out.

 “Wow Scott, just spill all the tea.” You stood and began to walk away.

 “I didn’t even spill a fifth of the tea. I can definitely spill more, like the fact he sends you flowers every other day with a note complimenting something about you. Or even the fact that he treats you like a queen, or what about the fact that he stays down south until you’ve come at least three times?”

 You gasped and turned to Scott with wide eyes. You were surprised he was spilling all your business. Everyone else was overjoyed, you could tell from their excited giggles and claps. From behind him, you saw Chris still at the table drinking champagne. He looked annoyed but you couldn’t really tell because all you had was a side profile.

 “Okay Scott enough tea.”

 “No, spill some more,” Tara encouraged.

 “You are not even right, T.” Everyone laughed as you sat in front of the TV more than ready to watch the movie.

 “Can we watch this movie already and stop talking about my personal life?”

 Chris approached the group one hand holding a fresh bottle of champagne and the other his glass.

 “Yes can we? We didn’t come here to hear how Y/N is getting some rando’s D,” Chris muttered as he took a seat. For some reason the way he said that rubbed you the wrong way, but you didn’t reply.

 The movie was some rom/com that wasn’t half bad but completely cliché. Usually the group of you took joy in mocking it. It was tradition. This year was no different, you all laughed and cringed at the movie. Every time you looked at Chris he was silent, he wasn’t bashing or laughing, he looked as if he were miles away wrapped up in his thoughts. When you managed to look away and back to the movie your eyes always found their way back to Chris. On one glance your eyes met and for a second you thought he looked sad, but you couldn’t understand why. As quickly as the look appeared, it disappeared before he looked away and clenched his jaw. You wanted to throw the bowl of popcorn you held. You were tired of it, so you got up and began cleaning up. It wasn’t your house, but you didn’t care, cleaning helped distract you.

 “What’re you doing?”

 “Why does your brother hate me?” It popped out, you didn’t mean to ask it.

 “What? He doesn’t hate you,” Scott corrected.

 “Uh, yeah he does. Have you not noticed?”

 “Y/N, Chris doesn’t hate you. Why would he hate you?”

 “I don’t know, he doesn’t even know me. I’ve never done anything to him,” you explained.

 “Exactly, so why?”

 “Who knows. All I know is I get the vibe he doesn’t like me. Remember his comment New Years?”

 “I’ve told you, you’re reading way too much into it. He was drunk.”

 Scott continued to protest and shoot down every exhibit you pointed to in order to show his brother didn’t like you. He offered a reasonable explanation to everything you said. By the end of the debate, you were still uneasy. It really was bugging you. From the corner of your eye you saw Chris looking over with a blank look on his face then he abruptly stood and walked off.

  -March 2020, 11:00AM-

 MSG Scott: Where are you?

MSG: Home.

MSG Scott: Why aren’t you on your way over here?

MSG: I told you Scott, I’m not coming.

MSG Scott: What! Of course you are, this is serious. People are dying.

MSG: I know it’s serious Scott. I am good where I am.

MSG Scott: Come on, it won’t be the same without you.

MSG: It’ll be fine. We’ll text and you have your boo with you.

MSG Scott: So bring Charles, the more the merrier.

MSG: Charles is stuck in New York. He said he doesn’t want to put me at risk since he thinks he’s been exposed.

MSG Scott: So you’re going to quarantine alone?

MSG: Yep. I’m gonna take a nap, later.

 You were serious. You were not leaving your house. This virus was no joke. You tried to fall asleep but every few minutes you tossed and turned. No matter how you tried, you just couldn’t find a comfortable spot. Ten minutes later you were still tossing and turning and about to give up all together. You heard your doorbell and a bang at the door. You tried to ignore it but the ringing soon became obnoxious and persistent. Rolling your eyes you flung the covers off of you and stomped downstairs. When you opened the door there was Scott.

 “Pack your stuff come on,” he said barging inside.

 “Scott, what are you doing here?”

 “You’re coming, there’s nothing to debate.”

 “What!? No, I told you. I am not going.”

 “Y/N, you know for mental health purposes, it’s better if you weren’t alone. We’re all going to be together there, it’s a good distance away from the hustle of the city, it’ll be good. He has enough room. Let’s go.”

 “Scott no. He doesn’t like me. Why would I encroach where I am not wanted?”

 “Oh my god, he brought up if you weren’t coming. He’s why I’m here.”

 That shocked you and had you looking confused as fuck. “What do you mean?”

 “He sent me to get you.”

 You couldn’t believe that. “You’re lying.”

 “No. I swear. Can we stop wasting time? We have a lot to get done before that curfew goes into effect.”

 Scott walked away and began walking to your bedroom as you stood there still shocked. You couldn’t believe he’d invited you and sent Scott to get you. What game was he playing? Was this pity? Was it him playing nice because of the seriousness of the pandemic? You didn’t know.

 After an hour of packing as if the world would end, you and Scott piled your bags into the car and went on your way. The drive to Chris’ house close to the shore was insane. People were acting as if this was the end of days. You saw more than a handful of people carrying an obscene amount of toilet paper. It never seized to amaze you the ability of humankind to spin out of control in the face of uncertainty. After forty minutes, you arrived to Chris’ house and dropped off your bags before you were off again, this time for groceries and supplies.

  -Six Hours Later-

  “So—what’s the plan?”

 “Quarantine and chill,” Scott blurted out. His partner cheered from inside the house.

 “I cannot with the two of you,” you said while rolling your eyes. You continued to pack away the mountain of groceries that the three of you’d bought over the last six hours. Or should you say fought for over the last six hours.

 “I can’t believe what’s going on, this is insane,” you added. Scott and Zach both nodded.

 In a matter of weeks the world and its operations had been turned upside down. The state of Massachusetts was now on quarantine and ordered inside for isolation in order to slow the spread of the virus.

 “So quarantine and chill with the Evans’,” you announced.

 “Why do you sound so scared? My mom loves you.”

 “I know, just—are you sure this isn’t weird?” Scott and Zach looked at each other obviously confused.

 “It’s not weird. You’re being weird.”

 Before you could respond a few cars rolled up the graveled driveway and parked. Out of the cars bounded adults, children and Dodger. Dodger ran to you and leapt up to you. Happily you dropped to your knees to scratch behind his ear and give him the nuzzles he deserved.

 “Hi Dodger, oh who’s a good boy. You are, yes you are!” Dodger excitedly licked over your face making you giggle. He was the cutest thing.Thanks to the lengthy amounts of time Chris worked, Scott was the one to watch Dodger most times and you’d formed a close bond because of how much time you spent with Scott.

 When you looked up there Chris stood holding several bags with a soft smile on his lips.

 “Hey, you made it.” His voice was low and gruff.

 “Uh, hi, yeah.” Chris nodded and walked inside. Like the obedient boy he was Dodger scurried in behind him.

 “Y/N.” You spun around and saw Chris and Scott’s mother, Lisa. Your smile was wide as you stood to face her.

 “It’s great to see you sweetheart. I’m so glad you came.” She hugged you tightly. It was a hug only a mother could give.

 “Yes, I’m here.”

 “We’re glad. How successful were you guys at the store? It was a madhouse for us,” Carly said.

 “Oh my god it was insane. We literally almost had a fight in the liquor store,” you responded.

 “By we, she means her,” Zach blurted out.

 “There was some guy trying to take the last case of whiskey.”

 “Oh please tell me he wasn’t successful,” Shana’s boyfriend groaned.

 “Nope. I grabbed it, ran to the register and guarded it with my life.”

 They all rang out in laughter. They thought you were kidding, you weren’t.

 “Thank god for that, but we’d rather have you over the whiskey,” Lisa expressed with a rub to your back before she walked inside. As Shana and Carly passed they kissed your cheek and as the kids ran by they each gave you a quick hug.

 The next hour or so was spent bringing in a ludicrous amount of food from the cars to then thoroughly wipe off with Clorox and Lysol wipes to then bring into the house for packing out. When you thought about it, there were quite a few mouths to feed so the amount of food made sense. Chris busied himself with Dodger and the kids in the back. You could hear the happy screams and laughter and it made you smile. Every time you’d seen him in uncle mode it warmed your heart. He was good with kids. He’d make a good dad one day, you thought.

 Once you finished everyone scattered to find their rooms. They all knew where they were going to be but you had no clue. Slowly you wandered peeking into different rooms trying to find where your bags were. Every room you went into you found someone from the Evans clan and your bags missing. After checking the last room in sight and coming up empty, you sighed and stood there.

 “Lost?” Before you turned you expected him to have a frown on his face with his jaw clenched. When you turned you were only half right, the frown was missing.

 “Uh, no, maybe. I um—I was trying to find my bags. Scott and I dropped them off before we went shopping.”

 Chris nodded. “Yeah, I saw them and moved them to your room.”

 “Oh, okay. Uh, can you point me to it?” Chris didn’t speak right away instead his jaws clenched and unclenched a few times before he flared his nose.

 “I’ll show you,” he said just before he turned and began walking.

 “You don’t have to. You can just tell me. I’m sure I can find it.”

 “You’re a guest, what kind of host would I be if I just pointed and made you find it. Come on, I’ll show you.” He continued walking down the hall leading you down the stairs. Glumly you followed behind him as he led you god knows where. When he walked through the downstairs to the back of the house you began to wonder just where he put you. He probably put me in the shed, you thought.

 Chris opened the French doors at the back of the house and walked out toward the pool. After a few moments the pool house came into view. It was more like a mini version of the big house. Chris walked around the pool and to the doors. When he opened it he held it open for you to walk in first.

 When you did it was the perfectly decorated seaside cottage. It was bathed in periwinkle and cool whites with the hint of straw. The first thought was who’d decorated it and if it was a woman. Your second thought was why he’d put you here instead one of the rooms in the house. According to Scott there would have been enough rooms for everyone.

 “I thought it would be a good idea to give you your own space incase being around everyone else was too much. They can be a lot especially when you throw in the kids. It becomes a madhouse,” Chris explained.

 Though he explained you still felt a way. The explanation was not enough. You plastered a smile on your face and turned to him.

 “It’s great. Thank you.” Chris studied you a few moments then nodded.

 “You’re free to go anywhere you want, my house is yours.”

 Again, you nodded and kept the smile pasted on. Chris nodded once and turned to walk out. When he did he shut the door behind him leaving you in the open concept pool house. Your thoughts were all over the place. The more you walked around and took in the décor the more you wondered who did all of this. It was beautifully done and gave off the feel of down to earth comfort.

 When you made it to the bedroom you found your bags in a corner. You busied yourself with unpacking your things. If there was one thing you hated it was living out of a suitcase and from how the news was speaking, this quarantine could be going on for weeks. After you unpacked your things in the drawers, closet and bathroom you took a quick shower before getting dressed again to join the others for dinner. You thought not to but you knew Lisa or Scott would come to drag you inside.

 As you approached the house doors you took a few breaths and walked inside and toward the dining room. You could hear voices in a room off to the side and it made you slow down.

 “You put her in the pool house, Chris?” Scott sounded annoyed.

 “Yeah. I thought she’d be more comfortable there.”

 “She’d be more comfortable, or you’d be more comfortable?”

 “She would. I don’t even know what that means,” Chris responded.

 The silence fell between them for a few seconds before Scott spoke again.

 “Did you think that by doing that you maybe hurt her feelings as you’ve been doing since you met her?”

 Your stomach fell. Scott was going to tell him that you thought he hated you.

 “Hurt her feelings? Scott, it’s no big deal. She has more room to herself. It wasn’t meant as anything. I was being a good host,” Chris assured. You didn’t know if he was being truthful or delivering his line like the professional actor he was.

 “I see through you brother,” Scott said before he walked out the door with Chris behind him. You pretended to just have walked in and looked between the brothers. Scott smiled warmly while Chris looked you over once and walked off.

 You had no idea what that was about. Dinner was delicious, Lisa always made amazing food. You’d been invited to family dinners before and how close they were always made you smile. You admired their connection and always had a good time just watching and listening to them. Tonight was no different. They spoke and laughed nonstop. Chris was a different person around his family. He came out of his quiet shell and talked--a lot. You listened to the stories he told and when his face lit up from laughter you felt butterflies in your stomach. His laugh was infectious, and you were beginning to love it more and more.

 After dinner before the kids were sent off to bed, everyone watched TV and snacked, it was the perfect end to a long day. You sat by Carly and Shanna and whispered and laughed with them. From the day Scott introduced you to them there was an instant connection and they always made you feel welcomed no matter what. When one in the morning rolled around the adults began making their way to bed.

 “Who has breakfast duty tomorrow?”

 All eyes fell to Lisa. She must have known it because she smiled widely. “Fine all my children, I can do breakfast.”

 “Thanks mom,” they all said in unison. You smiled.

 “Good night everyone, thank you for--,” you began before they all made a collective loud buzzer sound.

 “Shut up Y/N, you know we love you. There is nowhere else we’d rather you be,” Scott said making you smirk before you full on smiled. Chris caught your eye, he was also smirking. That’s a first you thought just before he clenched his jaw. And we’re back, you thought again before you walked to the French doors in the back.

 It was a felony for a bed to be this comfortable. You moaned and stretched in the king-sized bed. it felt incredible. From the window beside the bed you could see the moon shining in and that was the last sight before you finally managed to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[thedanceronthestreets]

PEDRO PASCAL GQ GERMANY - OCTOBER 2020

Original text by Esma Annemon Dil

Fotos by Doug Inglish

Styling by Simon Robins

Translated by @thedanceronthestreets

Intro: A broken tooth could almost have been the reason for our meeting with Pedro Pascal to be cancelled - and with that our conversation about roots, his new movie and times of change. 

Interview: It is almost eery how empty the streets of Los Angeles are under the gleaming sun. While Europe is finding its "new normal", people in L. A. are cutting their own hair even without being neurotics. Many of them have not seen their friends in half a year. The pandemic is out of control. So are the reactions to the situation. Inviting someone to a "distance drink" in the backyard can lead to the same consternation as proposing a relationship partner exchange. 

All the more of a surprise was Pedro Pascal's immediate confirmation. To the drink, not the partner exchange. He is one of the winners this year - and if Corona had not forced the movie industry to go on a holiday, he probably would not have had the time for this drink. After "Game of Thrones", the series in which his head was squished, followed 2015 the leading role in "Narcos" as a DEA agent on the hunt for Pablo Escobar, and now the leap onto the big Hollywood screen. As of 1. October the Chilean will appear in the blockbuster "Wonder Woman 1984". Furthermore, the second season of the "Star Wars" series "The Mandalorian" will start in October with him as the main character - unfortunately underneath the helmet. But we all seem to be under the same helmet in 2020. It is this man we want to meet, who worked as a waiter in New York a couple of years ago. Whose parents are political refugees that settled in Texas, and one day their son decided to walk into a drama club in high school. 

And then the cancellation. While we were preparing the house and garden for Pedro's drink and fashion shoot, which isn't an easy task under L. A.'s restrictions, his management called in with terrible news: Pedro has - no, not Corona - had to receive emergency surgery due to a sore tooth and is now lying in bed with a swollen cheek, making talking or shooting impossible. The sun shines onto empty streets. And our empty garden. 

A few days later, he stands in front of the door anyway, no huge bulge in his face, but stitches in his gum. No limousine service that dropped him off, he arrived in his own car and picked up his makeup artist on the way. He helps her to carry in all the equipment and states first and foremost: "I've got time today!" What a star! It does not seem like we are about to ask him how he managed to become a Hollywood sensation, but rather him asking us that question. Pedro Pascal! So, what kind of star is he then? 

Pedro Pascal: Sorry for ruining your plans. The operation was a total emergency. 

GQ: Really? We were wondering whether the swelling was the result of a secret trip to the plastic surgeon. Apparently, because of the quarantine in Hollywood, their schedules are packed. 

Sorry to disappoint you. A few days before our appointment I raced to the hospital with a tooth fracture and the worst pain I've ever felt - a hospital where the severe Corona cases are treated. I was unable to contact any dentists! Right before I parked, a specialist called back. I'll spare you the details of the surgery, gruesome. The pain was excruciating despite the 10 anaesthetic shots. The doctor said I wasn't the only one going through this, a lot of people grind their teeth at night thanks to stress. 

What are you most afraid of at the moment? 

The way the government is handling the pandemic scares me more than the virus itself. The lack of intelligent crisis management is a moral disgrace. The leadership crisis makes orphans out of all of us - we're left to fend for ourselves. 

How have you spent the last few months? 

With frozen pizza in jogging trousers in Venice Beach. I live in a rear building that's in the garden belonging to a family. In reality there are enough good takeout restaurants around that area, but for some reason I like salami pizza from the supermarket. 

That doesn't exactly sound like the movie star lifestyle. What does it feel like to be forced from top speed to zero? 

Considering the things happening in this world, my own state really isn't the top priority. But I would have to lie, if I said I wasn't disappointed. The entire cast and crew of "Wonder Woman 1984" put so much heart and soul into the production. We had so much fun on set. I had hoped to carry this feeling of exuberance around the globe to the openings of this movie. 

You are part of a political, socialist family that fled the Pinochet regime in Chile. What do you remember from back then? 

My sister and I were born in Chile, but I was only nine months old when we claimed asylum in Denmark. From there, we moved to San Antonio in Texas, where my dad worked as a doctor in a hospital. 

Texas isn't exactly considered to be socialist utopia. How well did you settle in? 

San Antonio isn't a cowboy city but rather very diverse with large Asian, Afro-American and Latino communities. In my memory it's a romantic place, culturally inclusive. The cultural shock only hit when we moved to Orange County in California later. Suddenly, the environment was white, preppy and conservative. 

How were you welcomed in California? 

To this day I'm ashamed when I think about how I let my classmates call me Peter without correcting them. I'm Pedro. Even without growing up in Chile, the country and language are part of me. I was quite unhappy in that place. At least I was able to switch schools and visit one in Long Beach, where I felt more comfortable. With its theatre programme, I found my path. 

Could you visit your family's homeland as a child? 

Yes, after my parents ended up on a list of expats that were permitted to re-enter the country. First, there was a big family gathering, then me and my sister were parked at some relatives' place for a few months while my parents returned to Texas. They probably needed a break from us. They'd had us at a very young age, had a vibrant social life, and my mother was doing her doctorate in psychology. 

Was your mother a typical young psychologist that tested her knowledge at home? 

You mean whether I was her lab rat? Absolutely. I can remember weird sessions camouflaged as games, where someone would watch my reactions to different toys. Even though I couldn't have been older than 6, I knew what was happening. My favourite thing was to be asked about my dreams. That was always a great opportunity to make up fantastic stories. 

Was that your first performance? 

Definitely! My strong imagination alarmed my mother, because I'd rather live in my fantasy world than in real life. I didn't like school. I ended up in the "problematic kid" category. At some point the subjects got more interesting and my grades improved. So many children are unnecessarily diagnosed with learning disabilities without considering that school can be daunting. Why is it acceptable to be bored out of your mind in class, when there are more stimulating ways to convey knowledge?

With everything happening in the world this summer: Do you believe that social hierarchy structures are genuinely being reconsidered? 

Hopefully. After the lockdown my first contact with people was at the Black Lives Matter protest. The atmosphere was peaceful and hopeful until the police got involved and provoked violence. At least during these times we can't avoid problems or distract ourselves from them as easily as we usually do. It seems that the pandemic provided us with a new sense of clarity: we don't want to go on like this. 

The trailer of "Wonder Woman 1984" represents the optimism of the 80s. That almost makes one feel nostalgic nowadays. 

That holds true. It's two hours of happiness. Patty Jenkins, the director, managed to make a movie full of positive messages. We shot in Washington, D. C., then in London and Spain - which now sounds like a different time. 

Do you miss travelling? 

I've only now realised what a privilege it is to just pack up your things and fly anywhere. With an American passport you can travel freely. And that's why the small radius we live in now is kind of absurd. Over the last few years I often retreated in between takes, because I was always on the road and overstimulated. Friends complained about how comfortable I had become. We all took social interactions for granted and realise now how reliant we are on human connection. Now, I wistfully think about all the party and dinner invitations I declined in the past. 

In L. A., people spend more time indoors or in nature than in other metropolises. Could this city become your safe haven after New York City? 

My true home is my friends. Ever since I was young I've lived the life of a nomad and haven't set roots anywhere. Until recently, my physical home was a place for arriving and leaving and hence I didn't want to overcomplicate living by owning lots of things. The opposite actually: Without having read Marie Kondo's book, I got rid of all the stuff that was unnecessary and lived a very minimalistic lifestyle. 

Is there something you collect or could never say goodbye to? 

Books! I still own the literature I read during my teen and university years. Recently I found a box of old theatre scripts and materials back from my uni days at NYU. I can't separate from art either, same as lamps or old pictures. Furniture and clothes are no problem though, they can be chucked. 

Do you remember any roles that were defined by their costumes? 

Yes, "Game of Thrones" comes to mind immediately. During that time I first understood what it means, as an actor, to be supported by a look. I owe that to costume designer Michele Clapton. She developed these very feminine robes and brocade cloaks for my role that looked very masculine when I wore them. I felt sexy in them. And very important were of course Lindy Hemming's power suits and Jan Sewell's blond hair for the tycoon villain Maxwell Lord in "Wonder Woman 1984". Relating to the style, I couldn't really see myself in the role since the shapes and colours of the 80s don't really fit my body. My type is the 70s.

Do you adopt such inspirations into your private closet? 

At this point in time, I'll choose any comfortable outfit over a cool look. Sometimes I mourn the days when I defined myself with fashion. It's a bit mad when I think about how, in the 90s as a teenager, I would go to raves; a proper club kid with crazy outfits: overalls, chute trousers, soccer shirts and a top hat like in "The cat in the hat knows a lot about that!" by Dr Seuss. Later in NYC I was part of a group that placed immense value on wearing a certain style. The fact that I only walk around in joggers nowadays is actually unacceptable! 

Normally, actors who work on comic screen adaptations become bodybuilders and eat ten boiled chicken breasts per day. You don't? 

My body wouldn't be able to handle that. I find it difficult enough to maintain a minimum level of fitness. As of your mid 40s, you suddenly need a lot more discipline. Until the tooth incident happened, I worked out a couple of times a week with a trainer to keep the quarantine body in shape. 

What would annoy you the most, if you were your own roommate? 

I can be very bossy. I have to gather all my goodwill not to force my movie choice on to everyone else. When I want something, I'm not passive aggressive about it, I attack head on. Also, I can get caught up in tunnel vision: When i feel down, I can't imagine that I'm ever going to feel better again. I have difficulty with seeing the bigger picture when experiencing problems or emotions. Method acting really wouldn't be my thing. That's why I try to only work on projects that feel good and where people encourage and lift each other up. 

While you were trying on the outfits you pointed out a lack of self-esteem. How does that coincide with your career? 

Isn't it interesting how traits and circumstances go hand in hand? Self-esteem comes from the inside, but it's also influenced by what society believes. We use critical stares from the outside against ourselves. I lived in New York for 20 years, I studied there and worked as a waiter up until my mid 30s, because I couldn't live off acting. It was always so close. The disappointment of always just barely missing a perfect part or opportunity is exhausting. When is the right time to stop trying and what's plan b? That's not just a question actors ask themselves, but anybody who struggles to earn a livelihood - unrelated to how much potential they have or how close their dream may seem. We are beginning to see now how our narrow definition of success is destroying our communities. At the same time, it's becoming obvious that, until this day, your family background and skin colour determine your chances of living a dignified existence. 

What are the positives of becoming a leading man later in life? 

I have the feeling that I've got control over my life - without the pressure of having to accept projects or be a social media personality. That surely also has to do with the fact that I'm a man. Women are surely pressured to appear quirky at any age. 

Life is always a management of risks - especially at this time. For what would you risk losing something? 

Usually, if you don't play the game you're not going to win anything. That applies to friendship, love, work, creativity. Anything that really means something to me, is worth the risk. 

Wonder woman 1984 will appear in cinemas 01.10. The 800 million dollar earning DC comic franchise is moving into the New York 80s with its sequel. It looks spectacular - only Pedro Pascal with blond hair in a three piece Wall Street suit looks better.

[luna-tiel]

What Entrapdak Means to Me

On the eve of Entrapdak Positivity Month, I thought it was as good a time as any to share my rambling thoughts on a ship that’s affected me in a way I didn’t think was possible. 

Entrapdak is the first ship I have ever been invested in. It’s such a new experience for me that it’s taken me the last few months to wrap my head around the whole thing. I may relate to the characters in a show, but when they form romantic attachments I view it with a degree of passive distance. I don’t understand what it’s like to have those sorts of feelings for someone (I am aromantic and ace as a brick), and, well, I’m honestly not curious enough to give the subject a thorough study. My mind tends to fixate on other things. 

What does this have to do with Entrapdak, you ask? Long story short for people who don’t want to read my meandering essay -- I relate a lot to these characters, and the way they bonded together struck a deep chord in me that I can’t ignore. 

Let’s start with the characters. I knew going in that Entrapta was neurodivergent-coded, but I took it with a grain of salt. When I actually watched the show, however, I found myself relating to her so deeply it shocked me. Never have I felt such a kinship with a fictional character! We don’t share every trait, but it was still like seeing my brain put to life on screen. I related to her enthusiasm over her special interests, her struggles to fit in, her desire to make friends who accept and understand her for who she is. 

The fact Entrapta is completely herself is something I love about her. Over the years of growing up undiagnosed, I developed a lot of masking strategies. Human psychology is one of my special interests, and even with all that accumulated knowledge, masking isn’t easy. It’s extremely mentally taxing. Masking can certainly look easy -- I can, when I have the drive and energy, “pass” as neurotypical, and only people who know me extremely well can tell I’m dying inside. All that effort is taken for granted by a lot of NTs because that’s how people are “supposed to” act, and surely I can “do the bare minimum.” The accumulated stress of near constant masking has led me to the darkest moments I’ve had in my life.

Entrapta’s struggle with leaving Beast Island hit me hard. It threw me back to a time when my feelings of isolation and worthlessness got so bad that I lost the energy to do anything, even the creative pursuits that were the obsession of my life. I retreated so deeply into my inner world that I hardly interacted with anyone. That total apathy shocked my family into getting me professional help, which gave me my autism diagnosis, the coping skills to move forward, and a good start on the road to self-acceptance. It also opened a channel between my family and I, allowing me to feel heard and understood. (An important side note on mental health: if you or someone you love needs professional help, please seek it! Sometimes you have to try out several therapists -- it took me three to find a good fit -- but you are worth it!)

It took me longer to realize, but I also relate to Hordak in some ways. Mercifully I was not raised in an extremist cult environment. However, I know what it’s like to feel defective next to a sibling that seems perfect. I was constantly being compared to my younger brother, and in all areas but art, he was superior. He was smart, athletic, and above all, he fit in with everyone. I didn’t hate him for this -- I hated myself. Trying to measure up to his standard is what caused me to develop such strong masking strategies. Underneath it all, I felt the despair of knowing my peers would reject me as soon as the mask cracked. I also live with chronic joint pain, starting at around age seven. The jury is still out on what’s causing that (the worst of it was due to a previously unknown food allergy, but the pain still comes and goes, even though it’s a lot more manageable than it used to be). This cocktail of pain, stress, and sensory issues I had to deal with gave me a very short fuse at times. 

As an aside, just because I sympathize with Hordak does not mean I am excusing his actions. He is still going to have to face the consequences of his choices, and work to adjust to life post-Prime. The series end gave him a new beginning, the opportunity to be redeemed, and I prefer this to a rushed redemption arc. 

What I love most about Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship is how they accept each other as they are. Hordak gives Entrapta near free reign of his sanctum, he listens to her when she talks, and he respects her opinions. Even when he pushes her away, he still considers the logic of what she tells him, and sometimes ends up doing things her way despite his initial instincts. This is something I do in my own life; I am easily overwhelmed by new information, so my initial response to an idea/activity is almost always a firm (and sometimes rude) “no,” until I have time to properly process and think about it. Hordak is the first person in Entrapta’s life that truly listens to her. He still has things he needs to work on, but it’s a lot better than how most of the princesses are with Entrapta. The Alliance treats her as someone to be managed -- she is useful, but unreliable. Hordak, in contrast, trusts her to get things done in her own way. 

On the other side, Entrapta is the first person in Hordak’s life to accept him without judgment. Hordak spends so much of his energy putting up a front of strength and intimidation, and Entrapta cuts right through that. She’s not frightened by his appearance, and even his outbursts have little effect on her until the two of them start to bond. Entrapta doesn’t come into their interactions with any preconceived ideas of what Hordak is like, or more importantly, what he should be like. This lack of expectation leaves her completely open to accepting whatever Hordak does and says, and it also relieves Hordak of the burden of needing to put on a front around her. When Entrapta sees him at his most vulnerable, she reaches out to him with compassion, something he has never felt before. Entrapta also does this in a way that doesn’t belittle Hordak. His imperfections are not something to pity, they are a valuable part of who he is. 

I loved watching their friendship develop. Entrapta and Hordak’s shared time together evolved slowly into a bond that gave each of them a sense of belonging they had never experienced before with anyone else. It gave me the hope that, despite what an oddball mess I am, perhaps I could find someone who understands me too. 

When a romance subplot inserts itself into a story, I tend to gloss over and ignore it (if I pick up on it at all). I’m even less interested in sex. Way back when I was first getting into fandom I was so excited to go online and meet fellow fans of the books and shows I liked, only to discover the spaces being dominated by arguments over character pairings. I was baffled. This is what people are most interested in? Oh well… back to the hermit cave I go! 

I was late to the party with SPoP. I’d watched a few episodes, but the show didn’t really hook me. This was partially because all I ever heard people talk about online was Catradora, and if that was the main appeal of the show, I wasn’t sure I would enjoy it (sorry Catradora shippers, romance is not going to entice me to watch a show, even if it’s rep). Quarantine was the ultimate cause for me embracing my curiosity and diving headfirst into SPoP, binging the entire thing a few months before the release of season 5.

I vaguely knew about Entrapdak as a ship going into the show, and I admit, had I not been primed for it, I probably would have missed the romantic potential entirely. In no way did I expect to become invested. I was immediately intrigued by their dynamic, and as they got closer, I found myself thinking “oh, I see why people ship these two.” I didn’t understand this realization until months later. I was relating to the characters, and for the first time in my life, I was relating to their relationship.

I headcanon Entrapta and Hordak as an asexual couple. I’ll elaborate on this at a later time (asexuality is a spectrum with a lot of nuance, and this post is plenty long already), but at the core of it, I find joy in imagining these characters in a loving platonic relationship, something I hope to find myself one day. I hope this love comes across in my artwork and in my fanfictions <3

To those of you that read this far, wow, you must be patient! Have an imaginary cookie! I hope this ramble has provided a decent picture for why I, as an aro ace on the autism spectrum, have come to cherish Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship. It’s my first and only OTP… I’m still in shock thinking about that… I guess we’ll see where things go from here!

Take care of yourselves out there!

[stardew-saloon]

Weird headcannon request: what would your favorite villagers do in an apocalypse

Listen listen listen. I fucking love anything to do with the apocalypse, especially when zombies are involved. So I’ll write about that !!

This one took a while, sorry ! I wanted to include at least all of the bachelors, and then bachelorettes in another post maybe if I’m not lazy.

Also I follow someone on my other account and I really liked how they like, used different colors to highlight names, so I think I’m gonna do that ! It’s just cute okay :)

Bachelors in the Apocalypse

Alex

Alex thinks of himself as the most ready for the apocalypse. He’s got what he and his family need to survive for months. Food, weapons (Mostly just old baseball bats), clothes, and the Will to Survive.

The zombies probably come from Zuzu city. City people are dumb and get infected right when the virus hits. Everyone in SDV is safe. For now, at least.

Alex, unlike the other villagers, refuses to interact with anyone but his grandparents. He keeps contact extremely limited with people. The only time he ever interacts is when he goes to drop off cookies at Haley’s house, per Evelyn’s request.

He does miss his best friend, though. He misses everyone. He misses that time where he didn’t hear zombies going around the town, banging on doors and smacking their heads against windows. It sucks!

Alex takes a number of zombies down. He’s easily one of the toughest bachelors, plus he’s super strong. He wants to eventually take out all of them, make the valley a safe haven like it used to be. There’s still a long ways to go, but he’s slowly making progress.

His grandparents, especially Evelyn, help out by cooking for him and others. Alex helps out other villagers by dropping off little care-packages. It’s cute! It’s also his way of keeping in contact with everyone and making sure they’re okay.

Alex is the one in a zombie apocalypse movie to survive until the end. He makes the smartest choices and keeps his family safe. He can’t afford to lose anyone else.

Harvey

As a doctor, Harvey’s first thought when he hears about the zombie apocalypse is that he needs to find a cure.

And so he tries to. For about a week. Maru is in the office with him for a while, going back and forth from her house to the doctor’s office. It’s tough experimenting on zombies and it feels.. wrong.

Even though they’re a zombie, Harvey knows that there’s a person in there. Was a person. So he gives up on the cure and instead focuses on keeping the citizens healthy.

Harvey is a goddamn tank. Were he to be partnered with Alex, the zombies would be gone within two days. However, they have different concerns. Alex keeps the zombies away from the valley, and Harvey keeps them away from houses.

They have a good system. Harvey goes around the houses to do checkups, trying to keep some form of order in the new world. He makes sure the oldies stay healthy, despite being cooped up, and that the people that are out fighting stay un-zombieified.

I think Harvey would almost last to the end, but makes a careless mistake and gets bit. Fortunately, a cure comes around! He still did research on the zombies during the apocalypse, and his notes came in handy.

Elliott

You’d think by now that Elliott would be used to being cooped up in his house. He’s practically a hermit! The only time he used to go out was to sit by the ocean or see Leah at the bar.

Now that he has to stay in, he doesn’t like it. It’s the same as all of us with quarantine. Elliott never went out much before, but now that he can’t, he wants to.

He feels like dying of boredom within a week. Fortunately, the sense of impending doom creates a good writing atmosphere. He finishes at least three books during the span of the apocalypse.

However, Elliott isn’t very smart about his survival. He either forgets to eat the food that Alex drops off, or eats it before the week is up. It’s tough.

Eventually, Elliott decides he can’t survive on his own like this. He feels like he’s going mad. It makes for nice poetry, but for now, he needs to prioritize his health.

So he makes his way to Leah’s! He figures it’s probably a good idea. Nobody ever said that you couldn’t hang out with friends, or stay with them.

While going to Leah’s, he’s not very careful with avoiding any zombies. He’s not attacked, but he is followed. Leah let’s him in of course, and then end up holed up in her house. She’s lucky enough to have the forest near her house, so she can rely on that.

Elliott probably trips up somewhere and ends up dying first, joining the rest of the zombies. He’s not very good at being a zombie, though. Which might be for the best! He doesn’t run around very much and usually just hangs back by himself.

Sam

Sam thinks he’s going to be good at the whole apocalypse thing. He’s like “I’ve played enough first-person shooter zombie games to know how to fight them off.” Then the second he’s put into combat, he falters and doesn’t know what to do.

Lucky for him, Jodi is good at fighting. Kent knows how to defend the house. Vincent knows how to ask dozens of questions about what’s going on.

And Sebastian knows how to sneak into Sam’s window at night when they haven’t seen each other in a while. They still try and keep close, but most of their conversations are over the phone. It gets lonely, sometimes.

Sam isn’t necessarily smart about the apocalypse because he doesn’t need to be. He feels bad about relying on his parents, but you would too if you had his kickass parents.

He knows how to keep Vincent safe! Vincent is taken out at least once a week, mostly to see Jas. He misses her a lot. Sam likes to see Shane, too! He misses working with his buddy, even if his body was a grouchy alcoholic that waved him off whenever Sam got within ten feet of him. Good times.

Sam really wants things to be normal again, so he tries to stick with Alex whenever he sees him out. They’re good at fighting, but Sam is very chatty and often gets distracted by other things.

Other things are usually Abigail waving out of her window and whisper-shouting for Sam. Sometimes she’ll whip out the Samson!!! just to get his attention. It usually works. Alex will take a minute just to tease him.

Sam either survives until the end of the apocalypse, or dies about halfway through while on his many night trips to see Sebastian and Abigail.

Sebastian

Apocalypse? He doesn’t even know her.

Sebastian’s life is literally the exact same. Aside from hearing less people upstairs, nothing has changed about his life. Demetrius is upstairs working on a cure or something (Seb tuned out the second he started talking) and Maru goes off with Harvey sometimes.

He heard Robin say something about building a wall or something to keep the zombies out. He wasn’t planning to help very much, seeing as the others mom and some other villagers wanted to help out. Really, the only place the zombies are coming in is through the tunnel for the bus, so if they block that off, they’ll be fine.

Sebastian is more focused on other things. Like staying in contact with Sam and Abigail to make sure that they’re still kicking. Demetrius doesn’t let anyone outside of the house, so Sebastian sneaks everywhere, whether it’s outside to go smoke or to see his friends.

He’s pretty good at fighting, though. He can defend himself a whole lot better than Sam, who he thoughts would have more experience. They both thought his video game theory was true because they’re both dummies.

Those few times where Seb does get out of the house, he’s like a zombie killing machine. It’s too bad he’s doesn’t do it very often. He’s good at sneaking around, too. Those years of tiptoeing around the house to avoid his stepdad yelling at him are really paying off.

Honestly, the whole apocalypse could end and the zombies could dissapear, and Sebastian would have no idea. He'd still be down in the basement, messaging his friends and working on his coding.

Or, for a worse ending, zombies could storm his house, saving him for last, and he wouldn’t know until it was too late and he was surrounded by a horde.

I think Seb would end up surviving, though. He’s not necessarily good at the apocalypse, he’s just good at avoiding it.

Shane

When Shane thought about sobering up, he never imagined he’d have to do it like this. The apocalypse is pain in the ass for him.

He stays with Marnie and Jas, rarely leaving the property. He doesn’t like being holed up inside for so long because then he’s just alone with his thoughts, so Jas keeps him going most of the time.

As much as he hates to admit it, he misses his old life. He hated being employed at Joja, but it gave him something to do. And yeah, he misses his annoying coworker. Lucky for him, he gets to see him one a week when Sam and Vincent pop in.

Shane can act like he’s annoyed all he wants, but now? It’s he apocalypse. Why should he be so bitter?

I’m not going to say that the apocalypse changes Shane’s attitude, but he definitely has some revelations about himself that he wouldn’t have had under different circumstances.

Shane doesn’t like fighting zombies. Not as much as Alex does, anyways. But he still helps him out if it’s ever necessary. Shane is infinitely better at defending than he is attacking. He makes sure to keep the zombies away from their house, and the town in general.

Sometimes, Marnie will ask him to deliver stuff to Leah’s house, or Sam’s since they’re awfully close. It feels like a job to him, so he actually enjoys it. He’s surprised to see Elliott at Leah’s and immediately assumes they’re banging. He doesn’t ask any questions, though. He doesn’t care.

Shane probably ends up dying after a tiny mistake that could’ve easily been avoided. He doesn’t see it as that bad, since Jas is still safe. That was all that mattered to him, really. He either dies after a few months, or an entire year into the apocalypse. Either way he does not go down easily.

I would like everyone to know that I wrote these thinking that Lewis holes himself up in his house and does not help anyone out, so they kick him out and elect Alex as mayor. It was a silly thought I had, but then I just went with it.

Alex for Mayor 2020.

It’s not necessarily like, an official position, but they all kinda trust Alex to protect them, so he just assumes the position. He’s not the smartest, which is why Penny was elected to be Vice-Mayor (Alex’s words). They do a good job running the place.

Anyways that’s all! Hope you enjoyed! Sorry this took so long, it was a lot to write hah.