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#i need 2 figure out how to good pictures of their faces if anybody knows a good spot 2 stand in where they fly low enough 4 that lmk
doodlboy · 1 year
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I feel like Steve Irwin rn, just ran halfway across hyrule [almost beefing it a couple times] following a dragon bc I wanted a really good picture of her for my compendium
"Look at that beauty!" *falls into the depths of hell*
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AHHH ok, let's talk about Lucifer and Alastor
I've been reading a lot of reactions to Hazbin: from the gushers who think the show is perfect to the hyper-critical who hate the show, the creator, and everything in between. I don't fall into any of those categories. I had a lot of fun watching it, but there were some things I liked, and some others I didn't. You know, as it's usually the case with any piece of media one interacts with.
I love reading other people's opinions. It makes me pay more attention to things I might have missed. BUT for Hazbin, most of the criticism I've seen boils down to two things: either "I, personally, didn't like it, so that means it's bad" which is not the hot take people seem to think it is, or just lack of media literacy.
I won't go over all the examples of that last point (there are plenty), but one example people are using to criticize the show --which I can't seem to get out of my head so now I have to write about it-- it's how out of left field it was for Alastor to think of himself as a father figure to Charlie.
My guys and guysettes, that's because he doesn't.
He does it to piss off Lucifer, because he doesn't like him. That's it.
"But they just met, why doesn't he like him?" I don't know! but let's go over some examples, shall we?
In the first episode, during Alastor's TV ad, we see a picture of the hotel, clearly drawn by him. I ask you to look to the bottom left where it says "No tacky circus decor! I promise"
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Do we know what he is referring to? Sure we do! the ring circus master himself! Lucifer Morningstar, whose whole schtick is circus-related. Clearly, Alastor is not a fan.
When Lucifer arrives to the hotel, did anybody catch Alastor's first reaction? (besides calling him short to his face, ofc)
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Do you see that trembling eye? He is PISSED. Why? Who the hell knows! But he clearly does not care for the King of Hell himself (if you force me to give you my opinion on this, I think it's because of Alastor's delusions of grandeur, and plain-ole narcissism, but that is a conversation for another post, if I ever gather enough energy to write it)
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He introduces himself and immediately does this. R-U-D-E.
Now, let's talk about the song itself, which, again, is clearly just an attempt to piss off Lucifer and not really about Charlie. At all.
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He only cares about Lucifer's reactions. Because he is not being HONEST. We can all see that? right?? I mean, it is pretty FREAKING obvious. He is just trying to get a rise out of Lucifer.
And now, the moment we were all waiting for, the infamous "call me dad" moment.
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Which had nothing to do with Charlie, and it was just another example of Alastor being the most annoying bastard alive. He is not even looking at her! He is staring Lucifer dead in the eye and saying "piss off shortie".
Why? Again, I dunno. Your guess is as good as mine. I hope we'll get the answer in season 2, because immediate animosity against the King of Hell himself is something I need some context for. Is it funny? Absolutely! I love that song! The violin solo? PURE GOLD (he he)
But for the love of Christ and the Antichrist, please stop thinking of "Alastor thinks of himself as Charlie's dad out of nowhere" as a valid criticism. As some have speculated, Alastor involvement with Charlie will probably have something to do with Alastor's deal and 7-year absence. If it's never explained, then sure, what the heck Vivzie?? please include it on the show!
There are PLENTY of things we could criticize about Hazbin (and people smarter and with more energy than me have done so already). But there are so many examples of "criticism" that are just examples of "I don't know how to interact with media anymore" and I beg of you to do better. This is a tiny example of the show showing and not telling, and some of y'all failed the comprehension test.
It is a fun show, guys. Enjoy it.
TL;DR: Alastor does not think he is Charlie's dad, ffs. He just wanted to piss off Lucifer.
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sunskate · 11 months
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Hi! If you don’t mind I have a few questions after the RD.
1. I read somewhere that Caroline and Michael had the highest base value of any team but obviously sit in 5th. So is it all GOE from there that they’re not getting?
2. Why do you think Marjo and Zak have trouble with their levels? They seem to skate confidently and consistently, but then miss out on base value and levels.
3. Madi Chock I think gets a lot of flak from the inter web about her skating skills and I was wondering what you thought of her level 4 today? Do you think her skills have improved since moving to IAM? What could she be doing better? I know it’s about delivering good programs for judges, not the internet, but sometimes it seems like nothing she does will ever satisfy anybody.
4. Not a question but hope you enjoyed today! So glad figure skating is back! Maybe a quick fun question - what was your favorite dance of the day?
aww thank you! hope you did too - i was happy watching LaLa yesterday- the commitment, intensity and how much they changed in just 3 weeks, i just enjoy them as a team so much
C/B and Gr/Pa both had base value of 31.7 and L/B had 31.69. so it was essentially a 3-way tie for highest BV. C/B are getting GOE on another level from literally everyone else here, so Gr/Pa weren't going to catch them. but where they were lower than the other top teams across the board in GOE was in the Choreo RS and their twizzles
Marjo and Zak missed levels on their Midline and PSt in the RD. i would chalk that up in part to them being less trained because of his injuries this summer. plus maybe that performing to the rafters with speed can make you less precise. and mistakes happen- i'm sure they'll be focusing on levels on steps
ever since the judges looked the other way at Madi falling at Worlds, you're right, the criticisms online can make it seem like she can do no right. i'm against telling anyone they should retire, but that had gotten louder since Beijing. and there's the common observation that her skating skills aren't the best - Romain!! even said so in the IAM web series 😬
in person, CB's blades sound high and wispy on the ice - where skaters like HB or Olivia have this deeper consistent rasp/hum as they carve into the ice. you can see the difference in knee action in CB vs HB or HD. but yes she has improved - Evan used to move her around the ice more. she's a stronger skater and athlete than she was. they do skate well in unison, she's a beautiful performer who understands how to use her body and face to project and create pictures. their packaging and programs have improved since the move to IAM - they're also a more mature team in every way. but her biggest strengths aren't in her skating itself
when judging seems to reward a team across the board rather than giving them high marks for what they do well and lower ones for what they don't, it's disappointing. CB and FG get sky high PCS in skating skills, or FG get high marks in Composition when they seem to be getting the message bts that the program needs fixing. anyway, when a team seems favored to the point that their mistakes and weaknesses aren't counted against them as they are for everyone else, people can direct their frustration at the skaters
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dojunie · 2 years
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THE WAY I GASPED WHEN U SAID THAT JENO DOESN'T KNOW THAT THERE WERE NO SERIOUS FEELINGS INVOLVED IN THE LAKE THINGY AND THAT HE'S KINDA ??? AT THE FACT THAT JAEMIN ACTED ON HIS FEELINGS REGARDLESS OF WHAT MARK FELT WHEN HE COULDN'T that's just drama / a relationship catalyst waiting to be used (winky face) MY MIND IS RUNNING WITH ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES like it seems that jaemin is definitely aware of mc's and jeno's feelings for each other and he seems like the type to give his friends a little nudge when needed HAHAHHAHA but also that seems a bit too cliche so idk 🤔 and yes i agree with you on the fact that jeno seems like the type to just sit on his jealousy and not do anything about it- but also i feel like he's the type who might start acting weird without him realizing it and also i kinda just imagine a point where he's just having a mental breaking down out of frustration and beating himself up for it though i'm not sure if he would have an "outburst" that leads him to confront mc per se like hmm I DEFINITELY IMAGINE HIS PROTECTIVENESS INCREASING QUITE A BIT given how he always seems to keep an eye on her and mc getting ??? bc they already had "closure" (and this is a little advanced but ghad i can already see the disaster for when jeno and mc finally kinda fix things and mark finds out there's something going on between them JFJSKND or does he find out before they kinda resolve things 🤔) REGARDLESS I JUST SMELL DRAMA HOW EXCITING AHHH
but can i just tell you how i find it so cute that jeno just remembers every single little thing about her and just sees right through her all the time like me irl when 🥲
ALSO A SIDE STORY ABOUT THE JAEMIN REBOUND SITUATION??? i'm hardcore jeno biased BUT W/ HOW GOOD JAEMIN LOOKED IN THE DREAM SHOW 2 CONCERT??? (WITH HIS ARMS???) don't mind if i do 😋
AND i'm so sorry if i send you messages at the weirdest times JFISOFK i'm filipino and live in the philippines so i usually read ur stuff late at night HAHHAHAH
-covid anon 🤒 (i can use this emoji as my anon name if ever but honestly i've grown attached to covid anon HAHHAHAHA)
COVID ANON!!! I LOVE YOU !!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
obligatory read more bc i always get way too into answering your asks oml
writing the lake hookup reveal thing took me tf out... actually, i even have a saved copy of what i almost went with in regards to jeno finding that out, a draft of that conversation i didn't end up going with?? maybe you will find it of interest. it is this:
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so???? maybe that gives a little insight to where jeno's head is at atm 👀 you're very on point with this jeno being the type to just stew in his own thoughts and start acting a little funny without knowing he's acting a little funny. that's going to show up considerably in CH4 lol, you're ahead of the curve 💪 and jaemin definitely knows... more than everyone thinks he knows, regarding who has feelings for who. but he's also not the person who's going to interfere, because he is of the staunch mindset that both jeno and mc Are Adults, and for them to figure out whats happening with their feelings it's kind of important that they're the ones who figure it out, not him, not mark, not anybody else. he's the relationship angel right now <3
and!! markie bby is finally going to make his grand appearance. will mc's description of him hold up? or will he be the perfect picture of innocence, his intentions marred by the trials and tribulations of being a protective older sibling?? you will find out on the next episode of misdial...!
thank you for giving me so much to think and ponder about covid anon <33333333
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somevillainfuckery · 25 days
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RANTETHING TIME, WORMS (pt.2 Duck Season)
So I hear a lot about theories on who the dog is, so far I only know the theory of the dog being David's dad [which was proven false], and the theory that the dog is David from the future. I don't follow either, that opinion could change since there is a 'canon ending' and I haven't looked into the other Stress Level Zero game. Until then heres a take on it, can't tell if its really a theory, might just use it for an au:
The dog isn't anybody David knows, it's not David, it's just that- a dog. The more specific, it's an entity who takes the form of a dog mascot, functioning like a human and a dog. When you appear to be a threat to a dog, what's gonna happen? You'll probably get attacked. The dog in duck season works the same way despite taking the appearance of a more human figure. If you leave the dog alone and just play the game, you get a good ending, mom lives, you enjoyed your day, everything remains normal. You shoot the dog though and all hell breaks loose. He becomes more hostile, and ends up killing your mother and attempting to attack you.
Though what kind of entity is this dog? It's friendly with those outside of the game it resides in or so I assume. In the Fiesta ending when the lights change colors and it's a mini-party, the dog is within the Final Fiesta game and dancing too. And in the Dog ending, you come face to face with the dog, you aren't attacked but instead you are asked to lend a helping hand. These endings are accessed by playing nice and not shooting the dog.
Though the question now is how this entity came to be. I originally had the idea of it being the embodiment of bad things in a child's life or/and negativity in general. We never hear of David's father and the man in the pictures could be anyone- could be David's father. could be an uncle. a friend of the mother. Who knows. But as far as we know and as far as the game shows, there is an absence. I believe the creators when they say the dad is not the dog- to an extent[?] in a way. This is following the idea that David and his mother are the people in the Duck Season commercial and that the person in the suit was either the dad, or a maybe a close friend of sorts. And a falling out happened- an argument- divorce- something happened and contact was lost. Could be especially bad if the person in the commercial was a friend and was there for David in the absence of his father. That person just never to be seen again. Or maybe, the dad/friend was just a really bad person [could bring back bad memories that's why your mom comments 'If I were you I would have shot that annoying dog.' [I could just be over analyzing this'll probably be AU stuff in the end anyways so-]. That dog may ACT friendly, that doesn't mean it IS friendly. It does things 'fairly'. You leave it alone, it leaves you alone [for the most part at least]. An eye for an eye, a deal maker potentially if you will but that'll be explained later. you attack, it fights back. It targets you specifically. [realize how in the Best Men ending after you call the police, the dog heads straight for you? and how normally, when the final boss fight happens, it shows David asleep despite us the viewer being in the game? the dog wants US. It wants David. The mother was just an obstacle.] This can tie to past incidents. One by one, families are plucked away, but they never implied full families, you don't need to have both parents present to be a family. This entity latches to families without. Without one specific thing. Another parent. It targets them specifically, being its an entity of negativity. A happy household is wonderful and always possible, but there's that lingering negative energy of a child seeing others with dads, and a mother without a partner to help raise a child. David falls under this category [technically unless proven otherwise]. There are several missing families, the missing persons are listed in a news report. Its a pretty good sized list, but it still proves there are still a LOT of families in the county. Not all families are single parent households. Take a look at the tape in the Dog ending. The dog points to you, to itself, and makes a cradling motion, that lead to the theory of the dad being the dog. "Your are my baby" was a rough translation of this, but that's not the case here- its a way of pointing out the role of a parental figure, to hold and protect their child. This leads to it being revealed there's cameras the dog watches all over your house, and it ends up asking you to help with a simple task. A mans job, following a stereotypical scenario, is supposed to protect his house, protect his family. The dog, to me in this case once more, could be asking for the small favor of pulling a lever a few times, and in return those camera's stay up and constantly watched with good intent. Watching over the house as if the intentions are to 'protect it' [hence the 'eye for an eye, a deal maker if you will' part from earlier]. There are plenty of other families that dog can go for- just another drop of blood on its paws, just another missing family case on the news. You left it unharmed, it does the same for you. It's not exactly an evil entity, but it's not a good one either it's just.. there.
Now like as for other shit, why it's attached to this game specifically, the logic the entity follows- and plus the fact it could have some form of relation to the 'monkey and cat tricksters' and our mystery messenger [yes I'm making a character around the note about the monkey and cat tricksters message in the house]. Look- I'm tired, this is mostly for @a-simple-traveler-anon, and I genuinely just wanted an excuse to rant about the silly spooky vr game. I might change things to this later, clean it up a bit, definitely some AU shit not really a theory at this point.
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folkloreguk · 3 years
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🍒Cherry Ice Cream (2)🍒
A/N: Part two is here! There won't be another one after this. I just wanted to split it into two little scenarios with one being cute and the other not so cute lmao...I hope you enjoy - as always I appreciate feedback a lot!
taglist: @lovely-ateez
genre: smut, optional bias (m) x reader (f), lifeguard!au, pool sex, unprotected sex
words: 3.4 k
PART 1 (fluff, both parts can be read independently)
It was the middle of the summer holidays and you had never been happier. Sunny weather, swimming, lots of free time and as much ice cream as you wanted were only a few of the reasons for your luck. The main cause was the boy of your dreams. A few weeks ago, you had met. It had been the most chaotic, embarrassing day at the public swimming pool – or so you had initially thought. Turns out being a walking disaster could not only attract negative attention. When the otherworldly handsome and kind lifeguard had pulled your clumsy figure out of the water and even bought you ice cream to make you feel better, you had a feeling things were about to change. And you hadn’t been wrong. Maybe you were seeing things through rose-colored glasses and a mix of lovestruck hormones, but you suspected he might just really be this great.
Ever since your first ice cream date, the two of you had been inseparable. Looks were one thing – and you had made yourself aware that though he was a picture of perfection, he could still have turned out to not be your type at all. But the inside reflected on his outside. Every day you found out a new enrapturing detail about him. He was a never-ending book that you were utterly unwilling to put back down.
Your days were spent at the public swimming pool, watching your lifeguard boyfriend do his job and questioning if this was all some sort of hidden camera prank. During his break he came running straight to your spot under the trees and plopped down on your towel, ready to spend the most time with you until he had to go back. Although your streak of bad luck was over, he still took care of you and made sure you were okay in the heat. He reminded you to drink enough water and sent you a good morning text every day. When he had first asked you to help him put sunscreen on his shoulders, you had hesitated with cheeks hotter than the sunlight that day. Now it was a daily thing, and sometimes when his hands were on your back, rubbing in the lotion, you caught yourself wishing there weren’t a hundred families around you. But it was hard scoring alone time with him at the pool. Even later at night, right before closing time, there were always one or two diehard swimming fans there.
“I love watching my cute girlfriend swim,” he would keep telling you.
“You better make sure you’re paying attention to the rest of the visitors, too,” you would reply, but secretly love his flirty remarks. Perhaps he wasn’t even so far off. After your first encounter, it was apparent that maybe you were the one guest who didneed the closest monitoring. Even his co-workers knew of you. They had made it their life mission to remind him daily how whipped he was for you, but he never cared about their teasing.
At night, you rode your bikes home. Towards the candy cotton clouds on the horizon, through the small suburb, you rode side by side, still damp hair flowing in the wind. Outside your home he cupped your face then, the sun kissed skin of his hands still warm to the touch. Like he was the slowly setting sun himself, he kissed you goodnight. You were addicted to his lips. He made you fly, brought back all your fondest memories as if he himself was in them, and let you forget every worry you’ve ever had in the world.
One evening at the pool, you lay on your bathmat, headphones in your ears and your favorite summer playlist taking you to another world. Suddenly, two hands grabbed you by the shoulders. You jerked up in surprise.
“Oh my god, we could have hit our heads together!” you scolded your boyfriend, who was smiling at you like an innocent five-year old.
“Guess what. My boss just told me that I can close the place up tonight. You know what that means, right?” he said.
“Tell me more,” you smirked.
“Technically, we can stay here however long we want. And do whatever we want. As long as no one finds out,” he whispered the last part into your ear. Chills ran up your spine despite the heat in the air.
“Do whatever we want, huh?” you said. “I thought you were being a model employee?”
“I am,” he shrugged with his child-like smile. “And the model employee needs to go back to work now. I have a reputation to uphold. You’ll be waiting for me, right?”
“Of course,” you nodded, watching his figure as he jogged back to his seat by the pool. The next hours seemed to go by extra-slowly, to your dismay. After his announcement, you only found yourself staring in his direction more than on any other day. Truly, you could never get used to his handsomeness. You thought of his voice that made you melt like ice and his hands when he kissed you. Too often they remained in innocent, safe territory. Maybe that was about to change. It was a Friday, meaning the opening hours were longer than usual. By 10 pm however, even the last person had left. The public swimming pool was closed. Officially.
You had to admit, you could get used to having an enormous swimming pool all to yourself. Blissfully, you dived through the water, not having to worry about crashing into anybody’s legs or losing track of your surroundings. You had always felt as though swimming was a little like flying. Not that you knew what flying would be like. But if you had to make a guess, feeling weightless and small in a seemingly endless space probably came close. All your life, it had remained the same. Playing pretend in the water, acting like a mermaid scavenging for the most precious treasure of the seven seas – all your loveliest ideas lingered in your memory like it had been yesterday.
The pool had a shallow end, about the depth which allowed your head to reach above the surface, and progressively deepened towards the other end. You took a gulp of air and descended into the darkness. Taking long strokes, you dived towards the white light at the wall of the shallower pool end. With the brightness ahead of you, you failed to notice the shadow behind you.
As you were in the process of coming up from the water, a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around you. For the second time that day, you jolted in surprise and quickly gasped for air.
“You scared me out of my wits! Will you stop that!” you said, but you were already smiling. It was hard to carry grudges against the boy behind you. Not when he held your waist and rested his chin on your bare shoulder, grinning as if it was a crime to even suspect him of such things.
“Hi, there,” he said and pecked your cheek sweetly. “I missed you.”
“So did I,” you admitted. Only months ago, you had made fun of how lovestruck your friend had been. You weren’t one to speak now. His hands let go of you while you turned your body to face him. Then they were on you again, and although it was a small touch, your lack of clothes created a tension between you right away.
“Wanna race me?” he whispered into your ear, as if there was anyone around to listen in. Was he serious? Did he really think you wanted him to let go of you now? His voice on your neck rendered you wanting him so bad, you had to take a deep breath to compose yourself.
“I’ve been swimming all day,” you said. “Besides, didn’t you say we could do whatever we wanted? We can swim whenever we want, during opening hours.”
“Oh, sounds like you have better plans?” he asked. For a moment, he touched your forehead with his. If you bent forward slightly, you could have kissed him. His hungry eyes were on your lips when you had finished the thought.
“I was thinking you could kiss me, for starters?” you coaxed him. He chuckled.
“So you’ve been thinking about it too, the past few hours,” he realized. “You know, I was trying to be subtle about it.”
“Forget about being subtle,” you said. “Let’s just make out, please?”
“I’d like nothing better than that,” he smiled, and then your mouths touched. His gentle lips tasted faintly of chlorine and salt, a taste you had come to associate with him and magnificent things. You held his face in your hands tightly and pushed your body against him yearningly. Reacting, he sighed and deepened the kiss. His wandering hands found the small of your backside as you arched your back into his frame. You hummed quietly, hands burying in his wet hair and playing with it at the nape of his neck.
All your childhood you had been searching for your treasure under the water. Now you understood. He was right there in front of you. Little you would be proud you had found someone this precious and incomparable. And hot.
“Jump,” he said. You did as he suggested and wrapped your legs around his waist. The proximity of his body made your heart hammer against your ribcage with such feverishness, you worried it might jump through your chest. With the way he touched every curve of your body, you almost forgot how to kiss. Luckily, your instincts did the job for you as you sipped on his lips and sighed every so often. He caught your bottom lip between his teeth, and you felt his smirk when you moaned in surprise. Every inch of your skin burned with desire for him.
As he carried you over to the side of the pool, you pulled away shortly. You took the liberty to attack his neck with frenzied kisses. It felt just as you had imagined a thousand times. You couldn’t possibly recount all the instances when you had found yourself staring at his neck and shoulders in the past weeks. He was easily the biggest distraction you had ever known. But it wasn’t your fault his tanned skin was so inviting and his strong presence ever so alluring. Returning his teasing, you bit into his shoulder, kissing and sucking on it right after.
“Fuck, baby,” he said in a throaty tone. “You’re amazing.”
Softly, he rubbed his nose against yours before your lips locked again. The kiss was all but soft. Your tongues meddled as if you were starved people and you could barely keep your hands in one place. Not that you would want to. You wanted to glue his hands onto your body or better yet handcuff him to your wrists. What was the opposite of a restraining order called? You were about to invent a word for it. Never before had you been so intoxicated, so in ecstasy with another person.
He pulled aside the fabric of your top momentarily and cupped your breasts in his hands. You gasped and melted into his touch and the way he played with your nipples. He attacked your neck in kisses and you shut your eyes, enjoying the sensation of his lips.
“I really want you.” He had his hands on your ass and all you could think about was the growing bulge in his swimming shorts. Your hard nipples rubbed against his chest, the thin fabric of your swim top doing little to nothing to separate your bodies. How could somebody’s whole existence be so titillating? He pulled away, just far enough to speak but barely. “I’ve wanted you like this for a while. But I didn’t want to unsettle you by making you think I just want sex from you. Truth is, I don’t want you to be just some summer romance, Y/N. Every day I hope you’ll still be here when summer is over.”
“Why would you think I’m going anywhere?” you asked. “You’re the reason I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I ask myself every day how I managed to end up with you in the first place.”
“That’s easy. First, threaten to demolish the turnstile with your stubbornness, second, offer your head to a bunch of kids with a water ball, third, square up against a bug in front of a hundred people, fourth- “
“Okay! Enough,” you said. “Don’t bring up my clumsiness. That’s just about the least sexy thing in the world.”
“Baby, I think there’s nothing not sexy about you,” he spoke. He kissed you deeply and all your embarrassing memories vanished at once. “So, you’re cool with this?”
His sudden change in tone caused your breath to hitch in your throat, as his hands lingered by your hips, just above your bikini bottom. You only nodded, the motion getting more eager as the words sunk in. He slid his fingers along the inside of your thigh, and you squirmed under his touch in desperation. Swiftly, he pushed aside the material above your center. His digits slid through your wetness, catching the nub between them, and rubbing ever so slowly. An overwhelmed gasp spilled over your lips, and you closed your eyelids.
“Fuck- ,“ you muttered under your breath. He teased your core, nearly sliding his finger into you, but then pulling away to find your nub to toy with.
“You look so beautiful,” he said. At his words, you looked at him through fluttering eyelids. He was one to talk about beauty. The luminescence from underwater sharpened his features, and his eyes had something magical, something enchanting about them. Like he could have you – or anyone – without saying a word. He reminded you of a merman, or rather a siren. Ready to drag you along with him, deep under the surface. And you were so willing to let it happen. For all you knew, you were long lost and under his spell anyway.
“Have you ever done it in public?” he asked. You were too distracted by his fingers on you at first, head hanging back in ecstasy, until you snapped out of it.
“No, but – fuck – I guess I can strike that one off my sex bucket list after tonight, can’t I?” you said.
“You have a sex bucket list? Interesting, tell me more about it,” he smirked. His eyes darkened and his tongue licked over his lips once. As if on command, his lazy ministrations on you quickened, rubbing your clit in small, circular motions until you were a moaning, stammering mess. You suspected he did so just to see your immediate reaction, and you gave him just what he wanted.
“Can we postpone the – the talking…on later?” you murmured, feeling like collapsing against his broad shoulders. “I’m kind of too busy to – to talk.”
“I can see that,” he teased you, kissing you gently. The delicacy of his lips only made your head spin more. “You’re so sweet, baby.”
“Don’t you want to get busy too?” you asked. You reached for his swimming trunks and wrapped your hand around his hard member through the material. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”
“Shit- me too.” His arousal echoed in his moans, and he sucked in a breath. There was a sense of power in knowing you could make him react so gravely by doing so little. You tugged on his trunks and pulled them down a little to reveal his full length. Palming him, you felt how painfully hard he must have been for a while now. He groaned and it was the best thing you had ever heard. Eagerly, you slid your bikini bottom off and watched for a moment as it sunk down into the depths of the pool. Your legs wrapped around his waist again as he aligned his cock with your core.
At this point you supposed you were both out of words. Hunger had taken over and you barely managed to form a sentence. He kissed you and you hummed and nodded, wanting him to know you were ready. Easily, he entered you and you whimpered at the way he stretched your velvet walls after all the wait. Your senses were overcome with everything around you. The warm water enveloping the both of you, the soft summer breeze caressing your faces, his hands on your hips as he guided your body into his thrusts and the sound of your breathless moans and sighs – it was pure bliss. Night had almost fallen, with the sky being a deep blue, almost black by now. It was a perfect setting for a perfect night with your favorite person.
You gazed into his dilated pupils and the coil in your stomach tightened in the most delicious way possible. Now you recounted a myriad of dreams you’d seen him in. Not always, but occasionally he showed up in your dirtiest of dreams, with his gorgeous, addictive smile and strong arms. But now he was right there, in front of you – inside of you – and you apprehended how weak your boldest imaginations had been. Your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders as you clenched around his cock. He moaned your name huskily and it only clouded your head further.
It was crazy how loving a person could magnify everything. Even with closed eyes, the mere idea of him fucking you, at night in a public pool, could beat every single other experience you’d ever had. You felt like you were blessed with the audience with a god. A god, who had manifested on earth only to scoop you up and show you the finest things in life. You definitely couldn’t think of a finer thing than his cock dragging through your walls, hitting your g-spot repeatedly, while he had you cased against the pool tiles. Moans and little whimpers fell from your lips, and you were glad there wasn’t a single soul close by who could have heard.
He was jaw-dropping. With the way he pounded into you hard, using the poolside wall as support on your back, you felt your head spin as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your skin seemed to prickle wherever he touched you and you pushed your chest against his. Just a little closer, you told yourself, even though you were running out of space already. It was body against body while he whispered naughty things into your ears, telling you how incredible you felt, how lucky he had gotten with you and how sexy he found you.
“You’re the fucking best I’ve ever had, baby,” he said. His teeth grazed your neck as he kissed your sensitive skin messily. You could have counted every single drop of water hanging from the strands of his hair and adorning his face. Could have taken notice of every single eyelash and even the tiniest speckles of color in his irises. But you could barely command your eyes to stay open.
“So- close,” you said. In your ecstasy, you clawed at his back as another wave of pleasure went through your entire body.
“Together, hm?” he said, lips brushing over your cheek with every thrust. You hummed and nodded, as he picked up his thrusts to a toe-curling speed. With every touch of your sweet spot, you felt reality slip away a little further, and you were doing nothing to fight it. You invited the feeling in, resting your forehead against his, breaths coming out in short puffs. And then it overcame you. Your orgasm jolted through you like electricity, and you clung to him as if you might have sunken otherwise. It made your shared moans high pitched, and he followed you, pulling you into his arms like it was alone you who was keeping him afloat.
The splashing of the water softened as he drew out your highs for as long as possible with slower thrusts. Eventually, he halted completely. He cradled your face in his hands and when you finally opened your tired eyes, he was watching you with full adoration. His charming smile caused an eruption of butterflies in your stomach. This was only the beginning of your time together, yet you could barely fathom your fortune. And as it seemed, this time fate was on your side.
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totebagchiqbarista · 3 years
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Heyy can i request a luka x fem!reader fic? Like you know how how luka is always calm and cool? What if he turns into a living mess after he meets reader? Like no stuttering or something but hes ranting about her to juleka all the time and cant concentrate when shes around??
what are you doing to me? // luka x fem!reader
request: anonymous
warnings: fluff, swearing?, Luka being a mess
pairing: Luka Couffaine x Fem!Reader
a/n: I really wanted to write some Luka stuff and this kind of stretched out to a good amount of words so I hope you like it! :)
"Dear God, Luka, stop talking!" Juleka shouted at her brother who entered her room uninvited for the 4th time today. She had understood he didn't have anybody really to talk to, but Lord was he getting annoying at this point.
"But I have to tell you something"
Pushing him out of her cabin one last time, Juleka stood at the door frame and stared at the blue boy. "Go out and find a life!" Of course, she didn't mean it like that, but before she could manage what she is doing, she slammed the door shut in front of him.
Luka was taken aback by the change in Juleka's attitude. He didn't flinch though. He was always that one collected and calm person in every group. Anger never fulfilled him in the ways it sometimes filled his mother, for example.
Anarka had never been the type to prohibit them of their freedom, but she tends to let her emotions take over her. When somebody mentions their dad, she turns red, wrathful at the memories that flow across her head. And it's never long until she completely lets rage form her.
But Luka was different. He was always the serene boy you would find in the back of the class writing songs, practicing riffs. When somebody took it out on him, Luka sucked it in, forgetting about the scene in a few days. He had never lost his temper, beat someone up, melted at someone's touch...
He didn't mind it, after all, there was nothing to whine about. He had all his emotions under control, and even though he would never admit it- it made him feel superior to others.
So Luka decided to go to the park. Whenever he had nothing to do, a simple solution always came to his mind- a warm walk through the park.
"Hi, Nino" he exclaimed seeing the familiar couple by the water fountain. "Hi, Alya."
Alya offered him a soft smile, taking a piece of Andre's ice cream. Nino lent him his famous handshake. "I'm excited for tonight!" said Alya, referring to the private hangout at Couffaine's that was yet to come.
Luka had completely forgotten about it. How could he do such a thing? Still, he kept his cool exterior, nodding his head in agreement. "Me too"
"Oh shoot! I forgot I was supposed to meet Y/n tonight" Alya looked back on her schedule.
"Who's that?" Luka questioned, having never heard of that name before
"An old friend of mine. She just recently moved here"
"She can come, too."
"Really?" Alya's face lit up in joy "You would do that?"
The blue-haired boy laughed "If there's one place in Paris everybody is welcomed, it for sure is the Couffaine's ship!"
"Great, we'll see you there soon!" Alya added before collecting her phone and her boyfriend, running to meet up with her long-term friend.
Luka was left alone by the fountain, staring faintly at the water drops in the pool. Hot summer day took a toll on him and his eyes closed slightly under the pressure of the beaming sunshine.
A wooden bench called out to him and so he sat underneath the cooling shade of the trees. Moments passed and Luka grew to be more impatient. Guests were to come tonight, maybe he should return and help Juleka set up for the evening hang out...
Just on a mark, a girl ran to the park, out of her breath. She seemed worn out as she breathed heavily from the excessive physical activity. She looked at the phone in her hands, it responding with a typical GPS lady voice.
"Shit" she mumbled as she frantically tried to get the directions from the small machine.
"Hey" Luka called out to her from his sitting position in the corner "Are you lost?"
The girl looked around, making sure the blue boy was talking to her. "Yeah, I guess I could say so." Just as she returned him the look, Luka was struck by her beauty. It seemed like such a cliché, really. And Luka hated clichés. Yet, he was mesmerized by the girl who stood before him.
"Right... Where do you need to go?" He asked, collecting himself by her feet.
"Uh," she let out an unknowing hum "Here"
The picture she showed was blurry but Luka figured the place. It was a place he liked to visit sometimes, too. He showed her the directions, making sure she knows all the tracks.
"Thank you so much" The girl beamed with happiness in her eyes "Thank you for helping me"
Luka nodded, and the girl turned around to leave in the direction he just showed her. Luka contemplated for a second before asking a question just as she was about to leave "Can I know your name, at least?"
Hope in his eyes, he stared at her for a full moment until she broke the silence. "We only just met. Besides, where's the fun in that?" Sending him one last wink goodbye, she disappeared into the streets of Paris.
Juleka wasn't a person one could easily talk to. Except for Luka. Luka knew his sister was quite an introvert and a rather shy soul. He respected it and grew to watch over her, protecting her privacy with others. But with him, she was sometimes an extremely cheerful and bubbly person. Hell, there were moments he wished she could stop talking!
So when the two of them collaborated in decorating the harbor for their friends, they finished rather quickly. In under 2 hours, the duo managed to make the best party ship anyone has ever seen.
"Alya is bringing a friend," Luka said as he and Juleka tried to put the last fairy lights around.
"Really? Who?"
"An old friend who just moved here. Y/n as I recall."
Juleka nodded, trying to remember the name "Oh yes, Y/n. Alya told us about her. I'm glad to finally meet her."
Soon enough, the guests started to gather and their home was erupting from chit chats and music. Luka talked to everybody, getting lost in the crowd. His mind always found its way back to the silhouette of the lost girl from the park. There was something he couldn't get enough of in her...
"Luka, could you play us something?" asked Marinette to what Luka only nodded, heading to his room for the guitar.
"Alya is here!" Rose exclaimed when she noticed her friend at the entrance. Next to her stood a girl, a girl Alya has told them almost everything about.
"Hi, guys! This is Y/n" everybody welcomed them, all eyes prying on the newbie.
Marinette came closer and hugged her "I'm Marinette" she addressed as she offered her a soft smile "I've heard so much about you!"
"I could say the same" Y/n returned the sweet gesture.
"What took you so long?" Nino asked looking at his watch and then back at them.
"My bad. I got kind of lost."
The moment Luka stepped on the ship, the last thing he expects to see was the girl he couldn't stop thinking about. The girl that has been playing in his head all day, since the moment they met. Well, not exactly met.
"You" he blurted without thinking as he set his guitar down.
The pair of orbs he remembered from this morning, looked up at him, as surprised as him. "You" she joked back, not breaking the eye contact.
"You two know each other?" Marinette asked looking back and forth between the two of them.
"Not really. He helped me find the way this morning" Y/n explained
"And she didn't even tell me her name"
"It's more fun this way, don't you think?"
Luka chuckled offering her a handshake. "I'm Luka"
"Y/n"
The night moved slowly and Luka found himself growing more and more nervous whenever Y/n was around. This can't be! He's always the calm one, the collected one, the untouchable one. No, no. It's just a mire admiration. Nothing much, really. He's as steady as ever...
"Spin the bottle!" Alya shouted out of nowhere
Numbers of confused faces turned to her in a moment. She proceeded, explaining her outburst. "Let's play spin the bottle"
The teens looked around, meeting with other's sights, nodding in agreement. Soon enough, the group was sat on the floor. Upon choosing a seat, Luka looked around. There were 2 left: beside Y/n and opposite of her. He wanted to sit beside her, really. Oh, just how he wanted to sit beside her, their knees touching... But he was so nervous. His palms sweat just for the thought and his heart raced with a speed unknown to man.
So he sat opposite of her.
"Right, so, we are playing spin the bottle combined with truth and dare. A person spins the bottle and they ask "truth or dare?" the one who the bottle has sat on." Alya explained.
Marinette went first, the bottle landing on Y/n. The bluenette smiled softly and asking the question. "Truth or dare?"
"Truth"
"Are you happy to be in Paris?"
"Very!" The two exchanged graceful smiles earning a groan from Nino.
"Where are the fun questions! C'mon dudettes!" he cried obviously disappointed in his friends.
Marinette looked at him in confusion "What do you want me to ask?"
"I don' know, something interesting. Like, describe your perfect type, or something"
Y/n laughed for a second. "Well I don't really have a type but guitarists hold a special place in my heart"
Luka looked at her in surprise but wasn't met with her gaze. That was it. He'll lose his mind because of this girl and there's no turning back. He'll be defeated, if only he wasn't already.
Y/n grew to be a great addition to the class and the friend group. And she grew closer to Luka's heart, more close than he liked to admit. When she was around, his mind was rollercoasters, when she was away her melody played in the back of his head. It was exhausting, really. Luka had never acted this way, especially not for a girl. It was all new to him.
It had been almost two months since Y/n's first day in the city of love. Never had she imagined that she would fall so in love with the people, the culture, the capital of France in general. She was standing on her balcony, looking at the most beautiful sightseeing- the Eiffel tower.
"Mom, Dad, I'm leaving, see you later!" she shouted as she closed the front door behind her. Juelka had invited her to help her out with band stuff. She was a bit surprised to say at least for Y/n wasn't much of an intellectual in that field.
The traffic was light and soon enough she stepped foot on the magnificent ship. The boy she already knew very well was strumming his guitar in the corner.
"Nice tune" she whispered, coming behind him
Luka jumped a little, taken aback by her unexpected figure. "Y/n? Why-"
"I invited her, I need some help," said Juleka from the door. "I'll be back in a second" and with that, she disappeared.
Y/n sat on a chair beside him, feeling the tension rise. Luka's melody became more insecure, more unsteady. It felt as if he was trying too hard.
"What happened?"
"I don't know" Luka answered, regretting holding the guitar now. It was true, when she was around, it was not much he could do. His mind always wandered elsewhere.
An uncomfortable silence took over them. Juleka was nowhere in sight. After some minutes of complete dull, Y/n stood up eager to leave. "Tell Juleka I'm sorry, but I just remembered I have to go."
Luka wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He was afraid of blurting out something way more stupid. So he nodded, regretting his decisions. What has she done to him? He can't even think straight, what to do, what not to do. He's a mess and it's all because of her.
"What are you doing you, idiot, go after her!" Juleka stormed out of the ship, scolding her older brother.
"What?"
"Go after her! Tell her how you feel! God!"
"What are you talking about?" Luka played it off dumb
Juleka's anger only grew "Oh please, mister untouchable, you're not so secretive about it. You can never concentrate when she's around, when I mention her, you grow all impatient. You talk about her ALL THE DAMN TIME. I can't listen to you anymore!"
Luka shifted in his spot "I don't talk about her that much"
"You literally stormed in my room last night talking about her humor and how cool she is. Go tell her how you feel, Luka"
He contemplated for a minute making Juleka impatient "Now! Go!"
The blue boy nodded, setting his guitar aside, and running as fast as he could. He ran the way he remembered Y/n to go. His legs could sprint only so fast but somehow he managed to run it all the way through.
Just by the bridge, she saw her walk by herself. It was already getting late, the sun was just around the corner, held by its fingertips to not yet say goodbye. She was looking to the river, calm and alone. "Y/n!" he shouted, putting all the energy he had to pull it through.
"Y/n!" he screamed once more to what the girl turned around. Just as she was about to ask what was happening, Luka panted taking her hand in his the moment he got the chance.
"No, no, I talk." He said taking a deep breath and looking right into her eyes. "Y/n from the moment we met in the park, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You took a tool on me, god, I'm wrapped around your finger! I can't focus when I see you, I lose all my senses when you smile"
Y/n smiled at the ongoing love declaration. "And no matter how hard I tried to cover up my feelings, to forget you, there just is no escape. I am lost, I'm losing my mind. God, what are you doing to me? I rant about you to Juleka, dear Lord. You made a mess out of me, Y/n, and I love, I love, I love you."
And before thinking, Y/n pressed her lips against his. She kissed him long and lovingly, making him melt under her touch.
"That makes the two of us"
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writing-on-the-wahl · 3 years
Text
Writing Snippet #14
[Sequences of flashing lights may not be suitable for photosensitive viewers]
Civilian woke with a start, the hairs on her arms standing on end.
Something was wrong.
The curtains were closed. That was the first thing she noticed.
Civilian never closed the curtains. Waking up in the morning required the full force of the sun.
She fought to keep her breathing even as she regarded the room through slitted eyes.
“There’s no point pretending you’re still asleep.” The voice was rich, smooth, and utterly terrifying.
Her heart pounded. What kind of robber announced their presence?
Civilian opened her eyes fully, diving for the nightstand. She yanked open the top drawer.
It was empty.
She whirled around as a malicious chuckle sent shivers down her spine.
A shadow detached itself from the corner near the door, slowly spinning a glinting silver barrel on two fingers.
“Did you really think I wouldn’t check the room for weapons?”
How long had he been in her room...
The spinning stopped, and she heard the distinct clink clink of bullets hitting the wood floor as the light above the bed began to flicker.
The figure stepped forward, tossing her gun and the now empty clip on the bed between them. She caught a glimpse of his face as the light continued to flicker on and off.
For a moment her fear receded.
“Hero.”
No need to be afraid of the city’s golden boy.
Then logic kicked in. It was 2 a.m. according to the alarm clock on her nightstand. What was he doing here?
“Hero?”
He smiled, white teeth glinting in the flashing light. “So you know who I am. Good. That will make this much easier.”
Make what easier??
He took a step towards her, and Civilian retreated until her back hit the window.
“What do you want?”
“You run a shooting range with your father on 34th Street.”
The lights flickered out and when they came back on, he was standing even closer, eyes gleaming with an unnatural glow.
She flinched back. “All- all our permits are in order.”
“Yes.” The word was slow, disapproving.
He reached underneath his cape, and Civilian stopped breathing. She pressed back further, the cold of the glass seeping through the thin curtains.
Hero pulled his hand free, and she flinched, expecting a weapon of some sort, but in his hand was a stack of photos?
He extended the photos towards her. When she made no move to retrieve them, he waved them impatiently. Reluctantly, she inched forward, but when she snatched the photos from his hand, a shock ran up her arm and she jumped back, the photos spilling across the floor.
Her arm throbbed, like when she’d hit her elbow against the counter yesterday, only ten times worse.
She glared accusingly at Hero as she rubbed at her arm. He smirked, then pointed to the photos on the ground.
She glanced down, squinting in the still-flickering light. It was starting to give her a headache. Flick. A picture of her behind the counter at the shooting range talking to a customer. Flick. A picture of her in the aisle, debating brands ...with the same customer. Flick. A picture of just the customer, pulling into the parking lot. Flick. The customer standing in a lane, aiming for a target.
Why that customer? He was a regular, came at least once a week. Was always polite. Friendly. She always enjoyed their brief interactions, enjoyed making him smile wide enough that his dimples showed…
She looked closer at the photos. The angles of the photos were eerily familiar, and Civilian sucked in a breath as she realized why.
“You hacked our security cameras.”
Hero raised an eyebrow as he gestured to the lights, which promptly went haywire, flashing so quickly she covered her eyes against the onslaught.
“Stop! I get it! It’s not that hard!” It should have been. She paid through the nose for their high-end security system.
The lights went out completely, and Civilian couldn’t see.
“You want me to stop?”
Hero’s voice came from much too close, and she scrambled backwards, slamming into the window.
“With the flickering lights?” she gasped. “Yes.”
The air crackled with electricity, and her breathing hitched. This was much worse than flickering lights, and Hero knew it.
Her eyes were still filled with flashing orbs of light, and her breathing intensified as she whipped her head from side to side, blind and vulnerable.
Muffled crunching marked Hero’s movements as he stepped across the photos on the ground.
She squeezed her eyes shut as the crunching stopped, meaning he was across the photos, meaning...
“Boo!”
She reared back, head slamming into the glass. He laughed, his hands settling on the glass either side of her, caging her in. Currents flowed around her, prickling her skin but not quite strong enough to hurt.
“What do you want?” The words were barely audible.
Her vision was finally clearing, which was worse because now she could see Hero’s face, his twisted sneer both illuminated and shadowed by the unnatural glow surrounding him.
Hero leaned in. “What do I want?” He smiled, with much too many teeth. “I want you to seduce Supervillain.”
Civilian blinked. What did Supervillain have to do with literally anything?
“I—sorry—what?”
“You. Are going to seduce. Supervillain.” His voice was sharp as a knife’s edge, but she still didn’t understand...
“Uh… um but I don’t even know hi—“
Hero slammed his hands against the window, the curtains only slightly muffling the sound.
“THAT’S HIM!”
He gestured angrily to the pictures on the floor.
Oh.
Oh.
Civilian looked down at the scattered images. Tried to reconcile the messy black hair and timid smile with the vicious Supervillain who turned shadows into living nightmares.
“Yes.” Hero snarled, glowing even more fiercely now. “That’s Supervillain. Every week he drives out of his way to come to your establishment. Why would he bother with guns when his shadows can kill more effectively than any bullet?”
His face was mere inches from hers now, and eyed her knowingly. “He likes you.”
He did?
“And you are going to get close to him, discover his weaknesses, find out exactly how to defeat him.”
No.
That was what she wanted to say.
Whether it was a shy but charming civilian or a deadly supervillain, she wasn’t going to seduce anybody for Hero. As if she even knew how.
But Hero was glaring out of her, and if he could shoot lightning bolts out of his eyes, it would probably look about the same as his expression right now.
And she had no desire to be electrocuted again tonight.
“I—me—am going to fake-date that man—” she pointed to the photos, “—who is really Supervillain?”
“Yes.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but his hands came down on her arms before he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “And in case you are thinking of saying no…”
Volts of power rushed through his hands into her, and she crumpled to the ground, gasping in pain. He grinned down at her. “... refusal would be unwise.”
She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. But he apparently took her silence for agreement and turned, kicking the photos out of his way.
He paused at the door.
“Remember, Civilian, it’s for the greater good.”
——————————————————
Shoutout to my youngest sister for insisting the supervillain have shadow powers (has she been watching too much S&B? Probably? CAN you watch too much S&B? Definitely not.)
Shoutout to my brother-in-law for vetoing literally every superpower I could think of bc they were “not creepy enough.”
Shoutout to @im-a-wonderling for the beta read/hero creepy-electric-superpower suggestion.
🥰🥰🥰 you guys are the best!
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rinkrats · 3 years
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🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽
he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:
1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.
"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."
In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.
When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops. 
After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).
"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."
-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021
2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”
Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.
-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020
3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:
Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.
“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”
“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”
Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.
“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.
“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”
A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid. 
“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”
-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)
4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.
Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.
On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.
"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.
"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.
-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016
5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.
Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.
When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.
“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.
“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.
“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.
“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”
What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:
• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.
“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”
• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.
Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.
“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.
• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.
• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.
“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”
• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.
He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.
“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”
Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.
One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.
He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.
“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”
Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.
He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.
A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.
“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”
Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.
“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”
Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.
Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”
-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017
6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.
“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,”  says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.” 
-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006
7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;
Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.
After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.
I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.
“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.
Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.
I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.
That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.
It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.
-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019
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toiletwipes · 3 years
Text
and i'd give up forever to touch you
chapter seven. opening up, inside and out.
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Summary: Wilbur joins you on a late drive and knows you better, finding out just how fast he is becoming attached to you.
ao3 link. ~2.1k words. masterlist.
---
he’s sitting outside, on the curb when you pull up in a compact car, music pulsing through the speakers and when you roll down the window, the volume too, and smile at him with half-awake eyes, he’s up in an instant, heart racing when he thinks back to just moments before.
to the moments when he doubted the continuity of your friendship, where he was so resolute that you would abandon him once he would become comfortable, once he showed himself to you completely.
you don’t give him a chance to think that again as you leaned over and gestured for him to get in, “it’s cold wilbur, get in,” you chortled as he scrambled to his feet, as if he forgot to move for a second. giving the door a solid shut, he rolled the window up and moved the seat back a little, feeling more awkward than the cold you had warned him about outside.
“thanks for coming with me, will, i was going nuts with how quiet it is.” you offered little more than turning up the music as you pulled into the street.
“is there something... troubling you?” he asks, keeping on the dim light on the road, the sparse cars that pass them by.
you exhale deeply, eyes trained on staying in the painted lines on the road. “doing this cover and its responsibilities have dawned on me, and trying to figure out if this will be worth it- worth scheduling weeks, maybe months of time to even reach maybe the first two minutes, with our own two parts. maybe we should think about making it simpler, narrow it down to a piano and vocal duet, or a single guitar and-” you cut yourself off, pulling into the lot of a closed-down store, one of the few in this college-centric town.
“is that what you want to do?” you turn to him, your face sullen and eyes wandering over his figure, like he didn’t need to show himself at all, and that you saw him as he is already. and you had no qualms about what you saw.
“no, i don’t want just a simple cover, done in three sessions and- and have not a single drop of substance behind it. i want to feel the love sewn into frequencies every time i listen to it, i want to feel-”
you cut yourself off before smiling at him, “i want to feel alive when i hear it, because i know that’s how good it could be.” you trail off, looking out towards the windshield. “and i’ve only felt truly alive when making music, alive in a way that is beyond the pulse of my beating heart, you understand that, don’t you?” he stares into your face and finds it.
he sees you, bearing your true intentions behind this project. he wonders if you’re trying to share this intimate experience you feel with music with him.
he wonders how special you find him to want to share such a thing with him only.
“i don’t think i’ve ever felt it.” he admits.
“not even when you wrote your songs?” you question, head tilting to lie against the headrest.
he shakes his head, “i wrote those songs to help me cope with my life, something i didn’t understand at the time.” he wonders if you’re trying to do the same.
“i could show you, if you want, but fair warning, you’ll get addicted to the feeling.” you joke, and he smiles, but he knows you’re serious in the offer. with this cover, you’ll probably show him something he won’t forget for as long as he lives. it’s curious to see if he’ll survive it. “well- now that’s off my chest, how about some early morning mcdonald’s?” you say, as if trying to cut the thick layer of intimate honesty about oneself into diced cubes.
he blinks but you’re already driving to the closest mcdonald’s before he has a chance to respond. and you’re reaching into the cup holders, holding out your phone to him and telling him a pass-code. “play some music, it’s connected to the bluetooth already. or a podcast, though you don’t seem like the guy to listen to podcasts to me,” you speak and you’re giving him a quick grin before turning back to the road.
his heartbeat quickens when holding your phone, knowing your pass-code and knowing you have this solid trust in him to have given both to him. even if you didn’t know he has had thoughts that are dark in nature, it was.. exciting to say the least, he would almost say heartwarming.
but he does what you’ve asked of him, opening up the green music app and typing in the name of a song he thinks you might like.
though, when it plays out in the speakers, you spare him a glance. “you like sleeping at last?” speaking as though you were leaning towards dislike.
“is it- is it bad?”
you clicked your tongue, “not bad, just-” you hum, giving a soft laugh, “-just curious, didn’t think you’d like them, is all. we’re still new to each other, and yet, it feels like we’re old friends reconnecting.”
“you’re a big part of that, to be fair.” he folds his arms and tucked his back adjacent to the window and seat, turning to look at you fully.
you shrug, pulling into the parking lot and into the drive-thru. turning the music down as you rolled the window down, you give him a short look and he is turning his eyes on the painstakingly bright menu.
telling you what he wanted, you nod, and talk to the exhausted employee over the speaker about y’all’s order, pulling up into the second window.
reaching towards the back you are surprised to see will holding out a card towards you, you meant to deny it but he nudges it in your hands, and you just hand it towards the employee. the next few minutes are quiet, waiting for the food and handling both it and the drinks towards the passenger, passing the receipt and card back to the owner, and you drive off.
finding another empty lot, with a little less buildings in the area, you two begin to eat in the quiet of the night, sleeping at last smoothing out the edges.
when you crumple the wrapper in a ball, and toss it in the bag, you turn to face will yourself.
he faces you too when he’s done, trying not to show how the intensity of your stare is affecting him. “can i help you?” he asks, turning his gaze to the time. 2:47.
“this is the longest time we’ve spent talking to each other, and i realize you have a nice voice speaking as well as singing.” his mouth opens a little bit and his skin heats up more than any properly working heater.
“thank you- i guess?” he’s confused, he knows that, it’s on what he’s flustered about is the confusing part. is it the fact no one told him he has a nice voice, generally? is it the fact that it’s late and you must be focusing hard on his voice to stay awake? or is it the fact that you’re looking past his defenses once more and seeing him as he is? your honor, he’ll say it’s probably all three.
“you’re welcome.” and that’s when he focuses on you. you’re wearing his beanie, his jacket, and some shorts that ride up your thighs. and as you turn your gaze to your phone, turning it on to change the song probably, he glances at your collarbone. bare, save for his jacket. were you only wearing his jacket on your torso?
picturing you without it was already a bad idea, but imagining what he’d do to you like that- he moves his head forcibly, staring out into the darkness.
“do you want to go home or do you want to come over? rosie won’t mind you being there as long as we’re quiet because i don’t know what it is about you but-” you yawn, covering your face, “-i’m getting too tired to drive but you’ve only just gotten here, so, whatever you decide is pretty good with me.”
he thinks about going home alone, and slipping under the cold and unkind covers, shivering till the blankets warmed. and then he thinks about going home with you, and possibly sleeping on the too small of a couch for him and you there with your comfortable, soft ambiance. thinks about rosie waking the two of you up in the morning in her pajamas, making or picking breakfast up.
and he offers to drive for you, leaving you to doze off in the passenger side with piano notes trailing off in your ear.
~~~
parking in front of the dorm building, he leans over to shake your shoulder only to falter in his movements, your hunched over figure leaning against the window and your breath fogs the glass.
then you’re stirring awake, and you’re blinking the sleep away from your eyes and you’re looking right at him, for the third time, and he doesn’t know if he should be endeared by it or frustrated on how you can see him so easily.
but he’s turning the car off and walking around your car to open the door, helping you out and letting you lean on him for a second, never mind his skin itching to burn. you two walk to your dorm, unlocking it in the silent hallway.
the door creaks slightly as you push it open and aside, “you can have the couch or the bed, i’m too tired to care,” you walk to the kitchen and you open the doors to find something to drink, will recognizes it as an apple juice container. “though, you should try my bed, it’s too good to be true,” seeing will’s face you wave at him to follow you, though your movements sluggish, you prove you’re still conscious.
pushing your bedroom door open, he finds the papers from earlier stacked and he finds you hopping up onto your bed, with the apple juice between your legs and you patting the space next to you. he doesn’t make nearly the amount of effort you put in to sit beside you, and he begins to regulate his breathing to calm down, being near anybody really would put someone like him in a tizzy, he rationalizes.
“after i finish this, i’m going to pass out, you can do the same wherever.” and in a much more alarming speed, you chug the half-full container and cover your mouth when you’re done, giving a slight burp. “and i won’t say i told you so,” your lips lift up as if you meant to smile briefly but you were too tired to commit to the action.
leaning over to put the jug on the desk, you are left with shuffling in your spot until you’re covered by your blanket with your feet underneath will’s legs.
“night, wilbur, see ya in the morning,” you mumble to yourself mostly, but he hears you and he mumbles something similar, leaning his head against your wall and arguing with himself internally.
he has a chance, now.
when he looks straight at the dresser, he can see the camera, almost tauntingly.
though what sends chills down his spine isn’t your cold, uncovered feet touching him, no it’s the fact that the things he moved to cover the device, they’re gone and it’s almost noticeable.
it wouldn’t be hard to miss and it’s the fact that if he does take his chance and move it, you’ll know it was him. know that he was the one to put it there and take it away.
and then you’ll hate him, cut him off, take him away from the project, keep rosie away from him, and so much more. and nights like these won’t happen ever again. he won’t get these quiet moments with you, won’t get to appreciate a person like you.
so as he leaves to grab a blanket from the linen closet, and pads his way to your room, he decides that he’ll leave the cameras there, and he’ll take his chances.
maybe in a few months he can take it and put this whole thing behind you two, maybe you never even noticed it.
whatever happens later, he thinks, at least he had this night with you, tucking himself under the blanket and curling just nearly against you, and he feels at home next to you.
is that what you are, though? home? he wonders as he listens to your breathing for a few minutes, thinking that’s what you’d had to be. so open, so warm, and so comfortable to be around.
even if you hadn’t meant for it to happen, wilbur was swiftly becoming dependent, some would say addicted, to you and everything you’ve offered him.
but that would be a problem for a future will.
for now, he would sleep. and he would do it next to you. his worries can set themselves aside for a few hours.
...
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mionemymind · 3 years
Text
Chapter 1: Code 10-15
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Favorite Crime
Series Summary: Y/n L/n, daughter of the villainous group, “The Gisbourne”. They’re known to do the cruelest things around the world in order to get what they want. In order to stray away from her family, Y/n is the founder and sole member of the vigilante group, “The Robins”. She does what she can in order to assist those in need of help in New York City.
However, what happens when the Avengers are tasked with finally defeating the Gisbournes? What happens when they use their newest member, Wanda Maximoff, to get to the black sheep of the family? What happens if they both fall in love? But what if it was all a mission to Wanda? 
A/n: This story is told through different splices of Y/n and Wanda’s story. Italics are generally flashbacks. And be sure to read the lyrics of the story. It’s not in the same order as the original song but this is purposely done :) (Not my GIF) 
Warnings: Betrayal, angst, cursing, happy ending 
Word Count: 2.9k
Masterlist
Chapter 0 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Bonus
Know that I loved you so bad I let you treat me like that I was your willing accomplice, honey
“Guys, let me introduce you to our newest member of the team, Wanda Maximoff.” Heads turned as the brunette timidly walked into the room. She fiddled with her hands as she shyly mumbled a quick hello to the intimidating crowd. It was Natasha that broke the silence first. “Welcome to the team, Wanda.”
Soon introductions happened but Wanda had yet to say anything else. All she could focus on was trying her best to not read their thoughts. It seemed that Natasha was the easiest to sit by since her thoughts were surprisingly quiet. She found Tony and Thor to be the loudest while Bucky’s felt a little...damaged.
Nonetheless, Steve excused the two as he led Wanda to her new room. Opening the door for her, Wanda found herself to be in a spotless and minimalistic room. The colors were on the grayscale and everything smelled and looked brand new.
“Here’s your room.” Wanda walked in, enjoying the fact that she can finally have something of her own. But considering who she was living with, she felt a little overwhelmed at the possibility of the bed itself being worth more than her childhood home.
“Everything in here can accommodate your needs just as long as you know how to work one of these,” Steve said as he held up a small tablet for the room controls. Wanda laughed a little and jokingly asked, “Are you telling me you don’t?” Her voice was strongly laced with her Sokovian accent, which was something Wanda lightly cursed herself about.
This was a change. This was new. This was a place she could start a new page and maybe even a new Wanda.
Steve slightly blushed as he scratched the back of his neck. He placed the tablet back on the nightstand and said, “Well...let’s just say I’m not one with the current times.”
“So, an old soul?”
“You could say that.” Slowly backing to the door, Steve held on to the handle and said, “But, I’ll give you time to adjust. Also, before I forget, we have a talking robot in the building. So if you hear a very smart alek voice, that’s just the robot.”
Steve gave Wanda a comforting smile before closing the door. Looking around once more, Wanda noticed that she had her own flat screen in the room. There was a desk in the corner as well as two various doors. Going through them, one door led to her own luxurious bathroom and the other led to her own walk-in closet.
Wanda walked back into the main room and saw that she had glass doors leading to the balcony. Pulled in by the breathtaking view, Wanda slid out to the balcony and watched the scenery in front of her. It was night time yet New York felt as lively as the morning. “This really is the city that never sleeps.” And as Wanda continued to watch, she could only hope that this was the new beginning she needed.
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“So you’ve been here a couple of months,” Clint stated as he and Wanda finished their training session. “How do you feel?” He tossed Wanda a towel which she caught with ease. While wiping the sweat off her face, she responded with, “I feel good.”
It was an obvious lie yet Clint didn’t manage to catch it. And if he did, he would’ve figured it was the nervousness talking. However, Wanda couldn’t help but think that she’s never felt so lonely till now.
“Well, that’s good to hear.” Clint picked up the various items they used for training and started to place them back in their original places. “Heads up, I think Steve is going to give you your first big mission.”
Wanda was putting back the weights when she said, “Really?” For the first few months, she’s been shadowing the other Avengers during their missions. Sometimes they would ask for Wanda’s opinion on how she would have handled the situation and other times she would just watch.
“Yeah. The team is impressed. You learn really quickly.”
“I don’t want to let anybody down.” It was rather late for it because Wanda already felt like she let herself down.
“You won’t. I know you won’t.”
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Looking down at the file given to her, Wanda first noticed how young the girl looked in the picture. There were tiny scars on her face but none looked prominent. The thing that pulled in the most was her alluring eyes. They appeared soft at first but Wanda had a feeling there was more to those tired eyes.
“So, her name is Y/n L/n and my mission is to get close to her?” Wanda asked. She couldn’t really wrap her thoughts on why she was needed on this mission. The girl didn’t seem like the type to know much combat. So it shouldn’t be too hard for the Avengers to get her.
“Correct. You’re tasked with getting close to her to the point she can trust you. Since not a lot of people know you’re a part of the Avengers, you can help us use her to get to her family.” Wanda sighed. She didn’t want to disappoint them on her first big mission but why did it feel like the Avengers were in over their heads?
Regardless of her anxiety, Wanda swallowed it down and said, “Okay, when should I start?”
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Those things I did Just so I could call you mine The things you did Well, I hope I was your favorite crime
Natasha, Steve, and Wanda sat in hiding. They were currently waiting for their target to arrive at the designated location. Various S.H.I.E.L.D. agents hid with the scenery and the night had only aided in their secrecy.
As the minutes ticked by since Y/n’s last message, Wanda couldn’t help but feel nauseous from her actions. Here she was, standing with the good side of history yet she couldn’t help but feel so repulsed by her actions.
Doubt plagued her mind which only increased her anxiety. While fiddling with her fingers, Wanda could only think about her. She thought about everything that could happen to Y/n. From how the government could possibly treat her to the possible interrogation that she would have to go through.
Oddly enough, she hoped that it wasn’t Natasha that could have a chance of doing that. Because if it were her, Y/n would end up in two ways. Beaten and bruised or hopelessly enamored by Natasha. Both ways made Wanda more anxious for this outcome. As sick as it was, Wanda would rather have Y/n be beaten and bruised than the latter. Jealousy was an ugly look on Wanda as well as betrayal.
“Do we really have to do this Steve?” Wanda could feel her hands start to shake but she quickly pulled herself together. Steve was right beside her. At any chance he felt that she was distracted, he would have her immediately escorted out.
“It’s the only way, Wanda.” The lack of doubt in his voice made Wanda shiver. She felt hopeless yet she was the only one to blame. She practically led Y/n to slaughter.
“But she’s nothing like them. You see what she does on her own.” Although Wanda knew there was no chance of pleading her case to Steve, she still tried because this was Y/n for fuck’s sake.
“I’m sorry Wanda but one good person can’t make up for what her entire family has done to many.” Looking back to the entrance of the tunnel, Wanda could only think about the good things that Y/n has done with her. Because to her, one good person was enough.
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It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do 'Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face
Wanda and Y/n were hanging out at an abandoned playground near the boat docks. Surprisingly, things were still intact despite the wear and tear they’ve been through. Y/n hung upside down on the monkey bars as she watched Wanda swing closely by her.
Maybe it was the way her hair flowed through the night breeze. Or maybe it was the way that she still shone through the darkness of the night. Or maybe it was this new happy look she had on her face. Or maybe - no - it was just the way she was - always is. She’s Wanda Maximoff. With all the blood rushing down to her head, and this overbearing feeling in her chest, Y/n said, “You know that I love you, right?”
Wanda stopped swinging and looked over at Y/n. There was a small bewildered look on her face but she didn’t look disgusted by the question. “What?” There was suddenly a rush of blood pounding in Wanda’s ears. She hoped that her mind wasn’t playing tricks with her especially now.
“I know it’s crazy - I haven’t even taken you out on a first date or anything but,” there was a glint to Wanda’s eyes and that confirmed everything that Y/n was feeling, “...I do.”
Y/n pulled her body upwards and replaced her legs with her hands on the monkey bars. She swung back and forth to get her blood flowing in other directions besides her head. She looked at Wanda and saw this doubted look on her face. So Y/n quickly added, “Yeah, I love you.”
“And what makes you say that?” Wanda had various answers in mind to her own question. Y/n could possibly be on drugs or she hung upside down for far too long. Or maybe, Y/n is just out of her fucking mind. But still, Wanda only hoped that Y/n would reassure her that she heard correctly. That she does love her.
Thinking about it for a moment, Y/n suddenly found the right words to say as she swung forward and landed right in front of Wanda. She placed her hands on the ropes of the swing, her face lowering down Wanda’s, little distance between them as Y/n said, “Well, you see me as my own person. Not somebody that’s the daughter of something. Just...me.”
Wanda’s breath was caught in her throat. Suddenly her senses were filled with anything about Y/n. Her ocean scented cologne, the hair pomade she uses to style, and the way her face looked so beautiful as if it was constructed by Michelangelo.
“Anyone can do that Y/n,” she whispered. Her eyes showcased her heart as she kept looking down at Y/n’s lips. But the way Y/n’s masked made her eyes looked constantly made Wanda look back up.
“I wouldn’t call you anyone,” Y/n said cockily. “You’re Wanda Maximoff. The girl that sees the best in people and the girl I so happen to be in love with.” Love. It was so easy for Y/n to say to Wanda despite everything she has been through with her family.
No one taught her love yet when she looked at Wanda, all she could do is feel it. “You feel so comfortable saying that around me yet I haven’t said it back,” Wanda joked. By now, her breath caught in her throat with how close they were getting.
By now, their foreheads touched as Wanda’s grip on the ropes of the swing tightened. “Well, I have a feeling that you will someday. And if you don’t, at least I got it off my chest.” And someday would be today.
Slowly, the two were leaning in when - RING!
The annoying alarm that blared through Y/n’s beeper made her groan. Now, someday would be in the future. “Uhhhhh - duty calls,” she said in distaste, however, Y/n had so badly wanted to stay with Wanda. Surprisingly, Wanda felt the same way. But vigilante duties were important to Y/n. So with another kiss on Wanda’s cheek, Y/n saluted goodbye. “See you Wands. You better practice saying those words now.” Y/n left with a wink and a smile on her face.
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The room was tense as Y/n stood before her family. Sharp eyes looked into Y/n’s soul as they beckoned her to finally say her peace. “I don’t want to be a part of this family anymore.”
This type of tantrum was nothing new with Y/n. Everyone knew she didn’t like being part of this family but it never got this intense. “You don’t know what you’re saying Y/n,” her Dad reasoned but frankly, he was getting aggravated by this whole shenanigan.
“No, I do know what I’m saying.” She knew her family wouldn’t treat her seriously. They never did and she was hoping that they would once more because, after this fight, she would never come back.
“You’re throwing your life away, over what? Some girl?” The whole thing was quite pathetic to them. How could you throw the whole world away for somebody they believed Y/n hardly knew?
“She’s treated me better than you,” she countered. However, her family simply rolled their eyes at her statement.
“Oh yeah? Go ahead with your little friend then but don’t come running back when things go south.” The cigar in his hands was placed into the ashtray nearby. Y/n’s parents hardly looked when they heard Y/n’s footsteps leaving the room for they truly believed their daughter would come back. Because in a family like theirs, blood is the only thing you can trust.
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Perched up on the balcony, with the breeze of the night flowing past them, Wanda and Y/n were laughing at the various things their powers did. However, the night turned with Y/n teasing Wanda endlessly. “I hate you,” she said as she slightly shoved Y/n as she smiled. “Sure you do,” Y/n replied with a smirk plastered on her face.
“I seriously do,” Wanda said as she noticed Y/n look at her lips. The two leaning in closer to each other. “Okay, and what are you going to do about it?” Y/n licked her lips as she could feel her heart explode with how little space was between them.
“Thi-,” the moment was cut short was Wanda’s phone rang. Their foreheads touched at the obvious annoyment to the interruption. Y/n had to physically remember to breathe as Wanda gave her a sorry smile. “Duty calls?” Y/n said to lighten the mood.
“Duty calls.” Seeing the frown on Wanda’s face made Y/n want to kiss her even more. “God, her lips must be soft,” she thought loudly. Wanda blushed at Y/n’s words but Y/n hardly noticed. All she wanted was to remove her frown. So she settled for the next best thing. She kissed Wanda’s cheek, letting it linger for a couple of seconds.
“See you later Maximoff.” Feeling overwhelmed with joy, Wanda shoved Y/n off the building as Y/n saluted her goodbye. Smiles were still plastered on both faces.
The ringing still went as Wanda saw Y/n successfully swing away. She picked up her phone with a sigh, having to remove all her flustered emotions as she answered the call. “Hello.”
“What the hell was that, Wanda?” She knew it was coming especially since the team had a very close eye on this mission. Failure wasn’t an option. “It was called acting, maybe you should try it, Tony.” She could already feel his eye roll from a mile away.
“You’re lucky I called when I did.” Luck...if it was luck, then her heart shouldn’t have ached this much. “Yeah...thanks, Tony.”
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Y/n arrived at their place in huffed breaths. The adrenaline from breaking away from her family still running through her veins. “Wanda?!” She yelled out. The tunnel echoing her voice. “Wanda?!” There was still no response.
Before Y/n could call out again, the sound of combat boots echoed through the tunnel. Y/n sighed in relief knowing that Wanda was here. “Love - I think we can still make it before my family finds…”
Slowly, the figure stepped into the light provided by the moon. His chiseled jaw and god-like physique caused Y/n to go into a defensive mode. Y/n didn’t need to see the shield in his hand to know this was Steve Rogers aka Captain America.
“What are you doing here? Where’s Wanda?” Steve didn’t respond as he pressed his fingers onto his comms. “Target is here. Move forward.” Suddenly, Y/n could feel something latch on to her back, a spread of electricity shooting through her body.
Y/n dropped to her knees, groaning in pain as she still looked at Steve. A hard boot to her back made her face roughly connect to the dirty concrete. The electrifying feeling intensifying more than ever.
As they cuffed her arms and legs, Y/n couldn’t help but focus on how much her body was on fire. She thrashed and struggled in their hold and all she could think to yell out was, “Wanda!” Screams of pain and helpless begging for Wanda’s presence echoed through the tunnels.
And as Y/n slowly faded in and out of consciousness, Wanda stood at the exit of the tunnel, hearing the love of her life begging for her to save her.
Chapter 2
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Taglist: @abimess​ @dandelions4us​ @lostandsearching​ @magically-queer-stuff​ @olsensnpm​ @randomshyperson​ @somewhatgreatexpectations​ @spacevoyager2​ @when-wolves-howl @xxromanoffxx​ @yourtaletotell
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spencersmagic · 3 years
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a knife twists at the thought - SR
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Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys
Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified
Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)
Category: angst
Word count: 3086 words
Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).
A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)
masterlist // 505 series taglist
*****
They say you never see it coming.
When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.
One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.
And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.
She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.
But they’re not there yet.
And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.
She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.
The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.
She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.
Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.
She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.
Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.
She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.
**
As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.
He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.
In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:
“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.
And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.
It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.
Love.
If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.
Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.
He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.
**
They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.
She had learned this from Spencer.
And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.
The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.
They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.
She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.
“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.
“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.
Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.
“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.
However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.
“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.
“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.
“Good, you’re learning”.
**
She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.
“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.
“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.
Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.
“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.
“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.
“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.
“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.
“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.
A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.
“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.
Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.
“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.
And it hit her.
What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.
He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.
“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.
“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.
“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.
“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.
His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.
After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:
“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.
She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.
I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.
A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.
Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.
“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.
She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.
She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.
She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.
Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.
Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.
Spencer was the first to break the silence.
“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.
He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.
“I need to get out of here” he choked out.
She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.
The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.
After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.
“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.
“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.
But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.
Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.
And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.
***
I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 
super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​
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chocominnie · 3 years
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One Last Time 02  —  Pjm. (M)
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⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader
⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst
⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…
⇢ Song : xxxxx
⇢ Previous : 00   01
⇢ Word Count : 
⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!
⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken
⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?
Your eyes shoot open, chest heaving heavily as you let out a blood curdling scream. Not this again. The same dream over and over again each night. It leaves you sleepless. The time on the clock on your nightstand reads 3:04 am. Just only four hours ago is when you fell asleep. But a full night’s sleep hasn’t happened for a year so why would it matter anyways.
Once you catch your breath you unplug your phone from the charger and read some of the notifications. From your window, the night-time critters sing their songs along with the persistant owl that’s somewhere around the apartment complex. You’d only noticed him, the owl, just a few months ago when your cat started meowing with his hoots. 
A missed call from your uncle. 
Immediately you unlock your phone and dial the number. Bringing your index finger to your mouth you gently nip on it waiting for it to answer, The rings are agonizing to you. If something has happened you only wish and pray it wasn’t as bad as you think. He’s the only parental figure left in your life.
‘‘ Princess! Hello I was just calling to speak to you earlier. But I realized you are five hours ahead of me and you had probably went to sleep.’‘
His soothing voice calms your emotions making you let out a tiny breath of air. Thank god.
‘’Hey Charlie.” You sigh. Looking towards your left, you spot Clara purring quietly next to you. You can’t help but to smile while bringing a hand over to rub her head with your thumb.  She’s so small under the shining moonlight from your window.
Her white coat shines brightly amongst her, making you remember the first night you had brought her home. All she did was sleep, and it worried you because you had no prior expierence caring for anything, let alone a small animal. Clara only drank kitten milk and slept back then. Occasionally being awake enough to nip at your fingers whenever you pet or touched her.
Now she’s a bit bigger and walks around the apartment like she owns the place. Quite the little attitude she has, but its too damn cute for you to scold her whenever she does something wrong. 
“ Yes I did fall asleep from after a gathering at someone’s house.’’ You continue on, bringing your knees to your chest after opening the curtain of your window fully.
The moons brightness illuminates the entire room, but not so bright for you to complain though. ‘’ Oh- was it Jimin’s? Tell him I said hell-’’
You bite your lip hard at his name. He doesn’t know and you wont even dare to let him know. Knowing him, your uncle would have a fit and oppose to come back to Seoul to ‘set the record straight.’ to Jimin. That’s the last thing you want to do, cause trouble.
‘‘ It was his brother’s house warming party.” You say, lowering your tone in your voice. You look at the nightstand for a couple of seconds just before opening the top drawer of the wooden, polished piece. Your hands shakily pull out a picture of you two together.
It was taken at  Marne-la-Vallée, France right infront of Cinderella’s castle. That was the day that you and Jimin had to went to Disneyland in Paris, France. You cant help but to think, with the picture in hand, that it was one of the best nights ever. It was also the same night your virginity was taken.
‘‘ Oh.. I know that tone. Are you two arguing at the moment.”
You shrug, “ I mean you could say that.’’
No you cant.
‘‘ Alright alright I won’t talk more of him. Let’s change the subject.” He chuckles deeply into the phone.
‘‘ How’s Europe? Anything new happening on base?”
‘‘ Same old Same old. It’s been what? 2 years since I’ve left Seoul? The food is different over here. They don’t have kimchi pancakes sadly.”
You can only imagine the frowny face he makes at you whenever he doesn’t approve or like something. It always turns out to be funny.
You giggle into the phone shaking your head slightly, “ Of course. You are in Europe Charlie. Where are you getting food from anyway if you are on base?’’
‘‘ I can go off base to a certain mileage when I am off duty. I just have to report back in time. But you do know that you can always come live on base with me...’ He trails off.
Oh boy. Here he goes. He’s always talking about moving you on base with him. Hell, he’s been talking about it since before he had to go to be based in Europe. By then you were twenty years old and old enough to live by yourself. Growing up in Daegu, Korea since you were six, you felt as if Korea was home to you and you definately weren’t ready to leave yet.
Especially, after losing your parents here. Around eight years old, your aunt and mother were on the way to pick up your father from the airport. With your mom and dad also being military and based in Korea with your dad’s bestfriend, your uncle Charlie, your father had been called to take military leave to go and be based in Korea for the National Guard.
On the way back from the airport, a drunk driver had struck the car knocking them off the road and colliding head first into the railing of the bridge. All bodies were reported dead upon collision, including your aunt. Charlie didn’t take the news well at all, and so did you. Only eight years old and still a bit new to a foreign country. It was devistating for you and Charlie. Charlie did what was right and stepped up to be your legal guardian while taking some time off from the military. Till this day, he treats you like his sacred little daughter and you can’t ask for anyone better than him.
 “You are old enough to live on your own and housing is avail-”
You jump at his voice on the line again, being too spaced out from the tragic memory. Before he can go on any longer you cut him off. ‘‘ Im fine with the apartment you left me. Im paying the bills on time and taking good care of it.”
‘‘ Alright fine. But that option is always available you hear me? I will always be ready for you to come with me.’’
‘‘ Okay Charlie” You groan.
‘‘ Alright.. sweetie it’s getting late on this side and it’s already 3 am on your side. Get some sleep okay? Don’t you have a model shoot thingy or something? You have those a lot.’‘
‘‘ Yes i actually do in a couple of hours. It’s been a while since I’ve did a shoot. Please eat and sleep well. Don’t injure yourself.’‘
‘‘ I promise. You promise to do the same right?’‘ He says, rustling movements are in the background.
‘‘ Yes I promise. Good night sleep tight..’‘ You smile as you wait for him to finish the rest.
He chuckles one last time on the other end, ‘‘I’ll always love you, goodnight‘’
Beep Beep Beep
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You in a racy light pink lingerie with white duvets and sheets is the concept of your comeback. It’s supposed to symbolize the “Night After’’. Camera’s click and directors yell and praise you in your subtle yet damaging moves and facial expressions. You want.. no need for this comeback to be successful. Not only did your manager schedule this, but she is making sure that they release this same very day.
Nobody in this company’s industry has ever did this before. But you, you are sort of the special one. The special foreigner as they say. It’s not like you don’t like it but you don’t like that they label you as that. Stylists, employee’s hell even anybody who works there treat you as a princess. It’s not bad, but it’s just weird.
‘‘ One last one. Give me a sexy yet innocent look mama.’‘ Elliot, the director says, smiling wide at you.
You slip a finger into your mouth and do a little pout with your lips.
Elliot busts out into a roar of happiness with his hands clapping furiously. ‘‘That’s it mama yes! That’s just what we needed!’‘
Adjusting his microphone earpiece, he turns around to greet and thank everyone, ‘‘ Alright everybody this concludes our shooting! You all worked so hard today. Make it home safe, eat well.’‘
Finally. You sigh out in relief and close your eyes. It’s been a long day. Almost 6 hours of shooting. Three Videos, and five swap outfits for each session of shooting for the ‘’ Night After’’.  As everyone heads out and starts cleaning up you bow your head slightly and thank them.
A stylist brings you a satin robe to cover yourself in. You thank her and put it on just before getting up from the bed and walking towards wardrobe. Once you are done putting on your clothes, your manager leads you straight out the exit. Outside awaits the car that drives you everywhere. Literally everywhere.
‘‘ Tomorrow somebody has put in a special request for you to appear as the main lead girl in their music video. It’s short notice and I told them I would have to bump some things around and notify you. But they are paying us and you good money to be in it.’‘
Money? Sounds like a plan.
‘‘ It’s fine. Who am I shooting for?’‘ You say, fluffing your hair just a little while inspecting yourself in the rear view mirror.
Your makeup is still intact with no ruins and the contacts they had given you suited you very well. A hazel with a slight bit of teal. Suddenly the car moves off into the busy streets of Seoul. You can’t help but to notice every couple that walks along the sidewalks. They seem so happy, glad to be around each other.
On the floor of the car lies your little mini backpack filled with all of your items and belongings. Picking it up, you begin to dig through it looking for some hand lotion to soothe your semi-dry hands. Once you find it you gently start to squeeze the tube.
‘‘ Kim Namjoon.’‘
You freeze. Namjoon? The same Namjoon from the group? Joonie? It’s been well… a year since you’ve seen him in person. Hell since you’ve seen all of Bangtan Sonyeondan together. Except for lastnight when Hoseok and.. that guy showed up.
You sigh already knowing the answer from the question you are about to ask.
‘‘ From…?’‘ You ask then put the lotion back in your bag. Slowly you rub your hands together to moisturize.
Your manager quickly flips through the daily planner, ‘‘ Bangtan Sonyeodan but this is for one of his mixtape songs.’‘
Thank goodness.
‘‘ That’s fine. What time will the car be arriving tomorrow?’‘
‘‘ 8 am on the dot. You need to be there by 8:30. I’ll be tending to one of my other models tomorrow so you will be alone. I can send som-’‘
‘‘ No no it’s truly okay. I know how to manage things myself. Besides, I learn from you.’‘ You reassure her with one of your winning smiles, laying your head on her shoulder.
‘‘ Aigoo what am I going to do with you?’‘
The day ends very well. The movies you’ve been watching have kept you occupied. But not occupied enough for you to keep crying at all the sad parts in the chick flicks. Breakups, someone had died, someone had even just spilled something onto the floor and that was enough to send you into tears.Only because when the main lead boy rushed to help clean it up, it reminded you of Jimin last-night helping Isabel.
‘’What is going on with myself.’’ You blow your nose into a tissue for what seemed like the thousandth time today. Clara lets out one of her meows beside you then goes back to grooming herself.
You place her onto your lap and begin to run your fingers through her fur over and over again. Such a soothing effect to you as you stare into space sulking in your thoughts.
Why is it that you weren’t enough for him? Why is it that every single little thing reminds you of him? You gave him your all and he gave you his but what happened? Where did you go wrong? Cooked, cleaned, satisfied his needs. You guys had even started to plan out what you wanted out of a family. When you wanted a baby and what you would name it. It was fun. The whole relationship was fun. Right until that scandal.
Ding.. Ding.. Ding.. DI-
You unlock your phone immediately to stop that annoying dinging noise. Not surprisingly it’s a text from Jeon Jungkook.
Kookie : Im coming over I’ll be there in exactly 3 minutes.
Kookie: Don’t think about leaving either.
Kookie: Im bringing someone with me.
Kookie: We need to have a serious talk babycheeks.
You roll your eyes at the nickname he’s given you. No matter how many times you tell him you want him to change it, he declines. There’s no point in asking anymore.
Why would he want to talk anyways and who is the person he’s bringing. Eh.. it might just be Ryan they seem to do everything together as a team.
As soon as you step foot out of your bed the sound the door clicking makes your head shoot up. How in the living hell does he know the password to your house? Rage takes over you. That’s something that you hate. When people invade your personal space. In this case, personal home.
‘‘ Jeon fucking Jungkook!’‘ You scream, abruptly stomping your feet all the way to and out your bedroom door. Suddenly you stop at the sight of the two faces staring back at you.
Jungkook’s expression holds a concerned yet upset face while the other just stands there calm and cool. But you on the other hand are way besides that level.
Your eyes must be filled with rage and the expression on your face is no good. How dare he disrespect you like that? Bringing him into your home, knowing the bad blood between you two. Oh, they both have something coming towards them. You begin to walk to them again making each step make the floor shake.
‘‘ Get out. Both of you. One you invade my personal private home..’‘
You grab both boys by their collars, making sure to grip the one on the right’s harder than usual. ‘‘ Two, you fucking invite him over here.’‘ You drag each of them towards the exit. Which is going good until Jungkook rips your hands away from his shirt and takes you over his shoulder.
You’ve had enough of him and his invasive ways. Pounding on his back with your fists, you make sure to scream into his ear. “ Put me the fuck down Jeon Jungko-”
You hiss at the stinging sensation on your ass. Did he just? Jimin stands there awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. You make sure to make eye contact with him and roll your eyes. Something that always had and will piss him off.
‘‘ Hush. I told you all of us needed to have a deep talk about you.’‘
Jungkook plops your frail body onto one side of the couch in which he sits next to you. He motions for Jimin to come sit across from the both of you but you aren’t having it.
‘‘ Don’t you do it.” You glare at him. Jungkook sighs harshly only to pluck your forehead two times. You whine and rub it with your index and middle finger.
Jungkook shakes his head in disapproval, ‘‘ When are you ever going to learn? Jimin sit down now.”
‘‘ Truthfully.. I feel as though I shouldn’t be here so-”
“ Good. Get out you are unwanted.” You snap back causing him to give you one of his long stares with no facial expression at all.
Jungkook glares at you just before getting up to throw his hands in the air full of disappointment. “ Enough! “
Yelling. Something else you don’t like to hear being done at yourself. You finally sit still and quite avoiding any eye contact with the both of them.
He sits back down and clears his throat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look before continuing on.
‘‘ I gathered us here to talk about you..”
‘‘ Why. Im fine. How many times do I have to say it. Im fine im fine im fine im fucking fine!’‘ You exclaim, getting more mad by the second. When will people accept this?
‘‘ Baby.. ’‘
Your eyes shoot up to him and his soft voice. You didn’t want to but you did because his voice to you is like candy that melts into your mouth.
‘‘ Don’t call me that. You have a girlfriend at-least be loyal to her rather than what you did to me.’‘
‘‘ Fuck is anybody going to just sit here and listen? Can we at-least get to the source of the problem? Huh?’‘ Jungkook leans back into the couch clearly pissed by your attitude.
Jimin’s the first to speak and holds a firm eye contact with you, almost daring you to break away from it.
‘‘ Fine. Im just going to cut straight to it then. Why are you so jealous? You aren’t okay at all. I seen the way you looked at us yesterday. You wanted to break down so bad but you didn’t. It looks like you’ve been dropping weight day by day why aren’t you eating well?’’
You’re taken a-back by his jealous comment. Although you are you just cannot admit it. You are jealous. You do want him back. You cant bear to see him with another girl but you. But the fact that Jimin is concerned makes you really hope. Just hope that there is something left of you still in his heart.
‘‘ Jealous? Jealous tuh.” You scoff, leaning into Jungkook’s arms where you rest his head on your chest. You only do this just to see Jimin’s reaction and by the look on his face he doesn’t enjoy that move one bit.
‘‘ Yes jealous. I mean why else would you put almond extra-
‘‘ Woah. No need to go there. We established that it was a so called accident lastnight.” Jungkook does finger quotes into the air and looks down at you.
You lift your head up and furrow your eyebrows in annoyance, “ So called? So you really believe that I did it on purpose. Wow Jungkook. Escort yourself out.’’
He sighs, wrapping his arms around you securly in hopes of you settling down a  little, “ Honestly it’s not like that. I wasn’t there to see you bake them nor was I watching her eat it. Im just saying that you knew Jimin was coming and obviously his girlfriend was going to come too. It’s a little sketchy is all.”
There’s no fixing what he said. Him adding onto his explanation just made things sound worse than what he’s trying to say. You don’t have time to be ganged up on, nor like it at all. It’s best if they both just leave, to not turn nothing into something.
‘‘ Get out. Now. Before I call and tell Ryan what you said and then she’ll definitely deal with you.’‘ You say, removing yourself from off of him and onto the other side of the couch with your legs crossed.
Mad isn’t even the word to describe yourself right now. You’re just a mixture of all emotions.
Jungkook now looks of sorriness written all over his face. You bite your lip and shake your head while pointing towards the door. He sighs heavily and takes one last look at you while removing himself from the couch. You watch him slip on his coat and shoes.
Jimin gets up from his spot on the couch, ‘‘ I’ll be leav-”
‘‘ Sit down we aren’t done talking.” 
He looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, sitting back down slowly.
Jungkook keeps his head down as he wraps his blue scarf around his neck. Poor baby, but he shouldn’t of said it. “Please better yourself and talk it out with each-other. Im leaving.”
‘‘ Make it home safely.. Kookie.” You sigh once the door closes behind him. Now you’re here. Face to face with Park Jimin.
The same Jimin who cheated on you. The same Jimin you haven’t seen in a while. You take a few moments to take in his appearance. He seems to have re-gained his muscles that are peaking through his black, longsleeve shirt. His thighs are still thick, just like his luscious lips. Of course he changed his hair color to black. But who knows, he might change it again.
‘‘ You’ve been doing well?’‘ You say, voice low but enough for him to hear. You drop your eyes to your lap instead of keeping intact with his.
‘‘ Yes. But you have not. Im disappointed in you. Why are you doing this to yourself? Don’t do this because of me.”
‘‘ Jimin you don’t know the feeling. You don’t know how it feels to be left wondering why you weren’t good enough for someone. Why they had cheated on you. You don’t understand at all and wont ever.’‘ Your voice cracks on the last sentence and you an feel the lump in your throat become sore.
He bites his lip unsure of what to say next. Those words had hit him good inside. ‘‘ Im sorry. I truly am. But you know the reason why we had to end it. I fucked up bad and the media was making the scandal bigger and messier day by day. It was better to just call it off.’‘
One by one your tears start to drop. You nose begins it’s running trip but you sniffle it back up.
‘‘ You could of denied it. You know you could of made a statement and denied it. But you felt something for her didn’t you? Didn’t you?’‘ You semi-yell, sobs already starting to take it’s way over.
He bites his lip once again and ruffles his fingers through his hair, “ Baby..’’
You wipe your tears with your hands making your face even more puffy from the crying. “ I am jealous. I am I admit it Jimin. But do you know i have been suffering for one year and two months? I can’t sleep at night because im so used to your touch at night. I look at every couple in Seoul and think to myself, Dang they seem so happy. What’s their secret?’’
Jimin sits up, making eye contact with you with tears welling up into his eyes. It hurt’s you more than yourself to see him crying. It always has.
‘‘ Please don’t do that. Don’t do this to yourself. Please get help from someone to try and move on. Please. I don’t like to see or hear you make yourself suffer.’ He begs, getting up from his seat and coming towards you.
Jimin sits next to you, hesitantly opening his arms up to you. Would it be wrong to embrace him? He’s being too sincere, but thats what you want right? You decide to just do it, and lean into him only for him to pull you in closer into his chest.You just lay there crying and sobbing while he runs his fingers through your hair. You shouldn’t be doing this. He has a girlfriend. But it feels so right.
‘‘ What does she have that I don’t? Why couldn’t you love me the same way you love her “  You cry into his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears. 
You’d been waiting for this moment to just let it out. Let everything out.
‘’ Please don’t make this harder than what it is right now. Just try and forget me and move on. Please.” Hypocritcal. How does he expect you to get over him when he’s the one whos holding you so tight right now. Soon enough his sniffles join yours in harmony.
You raise your head up and look him deep into the eyes while you wipe away his tears, “ Don’t cry Jimin. I’m the one supposed to be crying over you. Don’t cry.’’
He takes your hand away from his face and wraps his fist ontop of yours, “Please promise me you will move on okay?’’
You shake your head no, “ I can’t make that promise.”
He doesn’t say anything. He gently cradles you in his arms and lifts you up. You don’t think to where he is going. You just close your eyes and grab onto his shirt firmly not wanting to let go.
Soon enough you feel the cold sheets over your bed. He covers you in the duvet and leans down to your forehead.  A kiss. Your fist is still locked onto his shirt in which he tries to pry it away but you don’t want to let him go. He sighs and raises his arms up as he takes off the shirt revealing an extra plain white wife beater under it. Taking your other hand, he wraps your hand into another fist onto the shirt to where both of your hands are holding onto it.
‘‘ Please better yourself for me baby. Sleep and eat well. “
Is all he says before turning off the lights and walking out your bedroom door.  You can hear him putting on and zipping up his heavy coat but you just don’t make a sound.
The apartment door clicks and beeps letting you know he’s already gone.
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ganymedesclock · 3 years
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These are questions I've had for some while and it's hard to find someone who'll answer with grace. This mostly relates to disabilities (mental or physical) in fiction.
1) What makes a portrayal of a disability that's harming the character in question ableist?
2) Is there a way to write a disabled villain in a way that isn't ableist?
In the circles I've been in, the common conceptions are you can't use a character's disability as a plot point or showcase it being a hindrance in some manner. heaven forbid you make your villain disabled in some capacity, that's a freaking death sentence to a creative's image. I understand historically villains were the only characters given disabilities, but (and this is my personal experience) I've not seen as many disabled villains nowadays, heck, I see more disabled heroes in media nowadays.
Sorry if this comes off as abrasive, I'd really like to be informed for future media consumption and my own creative endeavors.
Okay so the first thing I'm going to say is that while it IS a good idea to talk to disabled people and get their feedback, disabled people are not a monolith and they aren't going to all have the same take on how this goes.
My personal take is biased in favor that I'm a neurodivergent person (ADHD and autism) who has no real experience with physical disabilities, so I won't speak for physically disabled people- heck, I won't even speak for every neurotype. Like I say, people aren't a monolith.
For myself and my own writing of disabled characters, here's a couple of concepts I stick by:
Research is your friend
Think about broad conventions of ableism
Be mindful of cast composition
1. Research is your friend
Yeah this is the thing everybody says, so here's the main bases I try to cover:
What's the story on this character's disability?
Less in terms of 'tragic angst' and more, what kind of condition this is- because a congenital amputee (that is to say, someone who was born without a limb) will have a different relationship to said limb absence than someone who lost their limb years ago to someone who lost their limb yesterday. How did people in their life respond to it, and how did they respond to it? These responses are not "natural" and will not be the same to every person with every worldview. This can also be a great environment to do worldbuilding in! Think about the movie (and the tv series) How To Train Your Dragon. The vikings in that setting don't have access to modern medicine, and they're, well, literally fighting dragons and other vikings. The instance of disability is high, and the medical terminology to talk about said disabilities is fairly lackluster- but in a context where you need every man you possibly can to avoid the winter, the mindset is going to be not necessarily very correct, but egalitarian. You live in a village of twenty people and know a guy who took a nasty blow to the head and hasn't quite been the same ever since? "Traumatic Brain Injury" is probably not going to be on your lips, but you're also probably going to just make whatever peace you need to and figure out how to accommodate Old Byron for his occasional inability to find the right word, stammers and trembles. In this example, there are several relevant pieces of information- what the character's disability is (aphasia), how they got it (brain injury), and the culture and climate around it (every man has to work, and we can't make more men or throw them away very easily, so, how can we make sure this person can work even if we don't know what's wrong with them)
And that dovetails into:
What's the real history, and modern understandings, of this?
This is where "knowing the story" helps a lot. To keep positing our hypothetical viking with a brain injury, I can look into brain injuries, what affects their extent and prognosis, and maybe even beliefs about this from the time period and setting I'm thinking of (because people have had brains, and brain injuries, the entire time!) Sure, if the setting is fantastical, I have wiggle room, but looking at inspirations might give me a guide post.
Having a name for your disorder also lets you look for posts made by specific people who live with the condition talking about their lives. This is super, super important for conditions stereotyped as really scary, like schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. Even if you already know "schizophrenic people are real and normal" it's still a good thing to wake yourself up and connect with others.
2. Think about broad conventions of ableism
It CAN seem very daunting or intimidating to stay ahead of every single possible condition that could affect someone's body and mind and the specific stereotypes to avoid- there's a lot under the vast umbrella of human experience and we're learning more all the time! A good hallmark is, ableism has a few broad tendencies, and when you see those tendencies rear their head, in your own thinking or in accounts you read by others, it's good to put your skeptical glasses on and look closer. Here's a few that I tend to watch out for:
Failing the “heartwarming dog” test
This was a piece of sage wisdom that passed my eyeballs, became accepted as sage wisdom, and my brain magnificently failed to recall where I saw it. Basically, if you could replace your disabled character with a lovable pet who might need a procedure to save them, and it wouldn’t change the plot, that’s something to look into.
Disability activists speak often about infantilization, and this is a big thing of what they mean- a lot of casual ableism considers disabled people as basically belonging to, or being a burden onto, the able-bodied and neurotypical. This doesn’t necessarily even need to have an able neurotypical in the picture- a personal experience I had that was extremely hurtful was at a point in high school, I decided to do some research on autism for a school project. As an autistic teenager looking up resources online, I was very upset to realize that every single resource I accessed at the time presumed it was talking to a neurotypical parent about their helpless autistic child. I was looking for resources to myself, yet made to feel like I was the subject in a conversation.
Likewise, many wheelchair users have relayed the experience of, when they, in their chair, are in an environment accompanied by someone else who isn’t using a chair, strangers would speak to the standing person exclusively, avoiding addressing the chair user. 
It’s important to always remind yourself that at no point do disabled people stop being people. Yes, even people who have facial deformities; yes, even people who need help using the bathroom; yes, even people who drool; yes, even people whose conditions impact their ability to communicate, yes, even people with cognitive disabilities. They are people, they deserve dignity, and they are not “a child trapped in a 27-year-old body”- a disabled adult is still an adult. All of the “trying to learn the right rules” in the world won’t save you if you keep an underlying fear of non-normative bodies and minds.
This also has a modest overlap between disability and sexuality in particular. I am an autistic grayromantic ace. Absolutely none of my choices or inclinations about sex are because I’m too naive or innocent or childlike to comprehend the notion- disabled people have as diverse a relationship with sexuality as any other. That underlying fear- as mentioned before- can prevent many people from imagining that, say, a wheelchair user might enjoy sex and have experience with it. Make sure all of your disabled characters have full internal worlds.
Poor sickly little Tiffany and the Red Right Hand
A big part of fictional ableism is that it separates the disabled into two categories. Anybody who’s used TVTropes would recognize the latter term I used here. But to keep it brief:
Poor, sickly little Tiffany is cute. Vulnerable. How her disability affects her life is that it constantly creates a pall of suffering that she lives beneath. After all, having a non-normative mind or body must be an endless cavalcade of suffering and tragedy, right? People who are disabled clearly spend their every waking moment affected by, and upset, that they aren’t normal!
The answer is... No, actually. Cut the sad violin; even people who have chronic pain who are literally experiencing pain a lot more than the rest of us are still fully capable of living complex lives and being happy. If nothing else, it would be literally boring to feel nothing but awful, and people with major depression or other problems still, also, have complicated experiences. And yes, some of it’s not great. You don’t have to present every disability as disingenuously a joy to have. But make a point that they own these things. It is a very different feeling to have a concerned father looking through the window at his angel-faced daughter rocking sadly in her wheelchair while she stares longingly out the window, compared to a character waking up at midnight because they have to go do something and frustratedly hauling their body out of their bed into their chair to get going.
Poor Sickly Little Tiffany (PSLT, if you will) virtually always are young, and they virtually always are bound to the problems listed under ‘failing the heartwarming dog’ test. Yes, disabled kids exist, but the point I’m making here is that in the duality of the most widely accepted disabled characters, PSLT embodies the nadir of the Victim, who is so pure, so saintly, so gracious, that it can only be a cruel quirk of fate that she’s suffering. After all, it’s not as if disabled people have the same dignity that any neurotypical and able-bodied person has, where they can be an asshole and still expect other people to not seriously attack their quality of life- it’s a “service” for the neurotypical and able-bodied to “humor” them.
(this is a bad way to think. Either human lives matter or they don’t. There is no “wretched half-experience” here- if you wouldn’t bodily grab and yank around a person standing on their own feet, you have no business grabbing another person’s wheelchair)
On the opposite end- and relevant to your question- is the Red Right Hand. The Red Right Hand does not have PSLT’s innocence or “purity”- is the opposite extreme. The Red Right Hand is virtually always visually deformed, and framed as threatening for their visual deformity. To pick on a movie I like a fair amount, think about how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the title character is described- “Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm.” That’s a subtle example, but, think about how that metal arm is menacing. Sure, it’s a high tech weapon in a superhero genre- but who has the metal arm? The Winter Soldier, who is, while a tormented figure that ultimately becomes more heroic- scary. Aggressive. Out for blood.
The man who walks at midnight with a Red Right Hand is a signal to us that his character is foul because of the twisting of his body. A good person, we are led to believe, would not be so- or a good person would be ashamed of their deformity and work to hide it. The Red Right Hand is not merely “an evil disabled person”- they are a disabled person whose disability is depicted as symptomatic of their evil, twisted nature, and when you pair this trope with PSLT, it sends a message: “stay in your place, disabled people. Be sad, be consumable, and let us push you around and decide what to do with you. If you get uppity, if you have ideas, if you stand up to us, then the thing that made you a helpless little victim will suddenly make you a horrible monster, and justify us handling you with inhumanity.”
As someone who is a BIG fan of eldritch horror and many forms of unsettling “wrongness” it is extremely important to watch out for the Red Right Hand. Be careful how you talk about Villainous Disability- there is no connection between disability and morality. People will be good, bad, or simply just people entirely separate from their status of ability or disability. It’s just as ableist to depict every disabled person as an innocent good soul as it is to exclusively deal in grim and ghastly monsters.
Don’t justify disabilities and don’t destroy them.
Superpowers are cool. Characters can and IMO should have superpowers, as long as you’re writing a genre when they’re there.
BUT.
It’s important to remember that there is no justification for disabilities, because they don’t need one. Disability is simply a feature characters have. You do not need to go “they’re blind, BUT they can see the future”
This is admittedly shaky, and people can argue either way; the Blind Seer is a very pronounced mythological figure and an interesting philosophical point about what truly matters in the world. There’s a reason it exists as a conceit. But if every blind character is blind in a way that completely negates that disability or makes it meaningless- this sucks. People have been blind since the dawn of time. And people will always accommodate their disabilities in different ways. Even if the technology exists to fix some forms of blindness, there are people who will have “fixable” blindness and refuse to treat it. There will be individuals born blind who have no meaningful desire to modify this. And there are some people whose condition will be inoperable even if it “shouldn’t” be.
You don’t need to make your disabled characters excessively cool, or give them a means by which the audience can totally forget they’re disabled. Again, this is a place where strong worldbuilding is your buddy- a handwave of “x technology fixed all disabilities”, in my opinion, will never come off good. If, instead, however, you throw out a careless detail that the cool girl the main character is chatting up in a cyberpunk bar has an obvious spinal modification, and feature other characters with prosthetics and without- I will like your work a lot, actually. Even if you’re handing out a fictional “cure”- show the seams. Make it have drawbacks and pros and cons. A great example of this is in the series Full Metal Alchemist- the main character has two prosthetic limbs, and not only do these limbs come with problems, some mundane (he has phantom limb pains, and has to deal with outgrowing his prostheses or damaging them in combat) some more fantastical (these artificial limbs are connected to his nerves to function fluidly- which means that they get surgically installed with no anesthesia and hurt like fuck plugging in- and they require master engineering to stay in shape). We explicitly see a scene of the experts responsible for said limbs talking to a man who uses an ordinary prosthetic leg, despite the advantages of an automail limb, because these drawbacks are daunting to him and he is happier with a simple prosthetic leg.
Even in mundane accommodations you didn’t make up- no two wheelchair users use their chair the exact same way, and there’s a huge diversity of chairs. Someone might be legally blind but still navigate confidently on their own; they might use a guide dog, or they might use a cane. They might even change their needs from situation to situation!
Disability accommodations are part of life
This ties in heavily to the previous point, but seriously! Don’t just look up one model of cane and superimpose it with no modifications onto your character- think about what their lifestyle is, and what kind of person they are!
Also medication is not the devil. Yes, medical abuse is real and tragic and the medication is not magic fairy dust that solves all problems either. But also, it’s straight ableism to act like anybody needing pills for any reason is a scary edgy plot twist. 
(and addiction is a disease. Please be careful, and moreover be compassionate, if you’re writing a character who’s an addict)
3. Be mindful of cast composition
This, to me, is a big tip about disability writing and it’s also super easy to implement!
Just make sure your cast has a lot of meaningful disabled characters in it!
Have you done all the work you can to try and dodge the Red Right Hand but you’re still worried your disabled villain is a bad look? They sure won’t look like a commentary on disability if three other people in the cast are disabled and don’t have the same outlook or role! Worried that you’re PSLT-ing your main character’s disabled child? Maybe the disability is hereditary and they got it from the main character!
The more disabled characters you have, the more it will challenge you to think about what their individual relationship is with the world and the less you’ll rely on hackneyed tropes. At least, ideally.
-
Ultimately, there’s no perfect silver bullet of diversity writing that will prevent a work from EVER being ableist, but I hope this helped, at least!
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breanime · 4 years
Text
Intentions
Okay, here’s my shot at a Tommy Shelby fic... Let me know what you think, please!
Prompt:  “You think I would do this for just anybody?”
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You weren’t entirely sure what possessed Tommy Shelby—the Tommy Shelby—to assist you, but you decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and just appreciate it. Ever since he’d overheard you telling Ada about the men who harassed you on the streets, Tommy had taken it upon himself to make sure you always had an escort home.
And for the last five days, that escort had been him.
“Really, Mr. Shelby—” you began, holding your purse in front of you as Tommy locked up the office.
“—Tommy,” he corrected you, a cigarette dangling from his lips.
“Tommy,” you repeated, “you don’t have to keep doing this, really. I can just walk.”
“You live 45 minutes from the office,” he said back, “and that’s not counting having to stop for fucking protests or some pieces of shite trying to pick you up. Then it’s around 56 minutes if it’s raining or snowing,” he went on, “More if it’s doing both at once,” he led you to his car, opening the door for you, “You work hard; you ought to have your boss make sure you get home safe.”
You bit your lip, trying to keep your growing smile in check. Tommy had no way of knowing that—the time it took for you to get home—unless he walked the walk himself. “Well,” you said, climbing into the car, “I really do appreciate it.”
“Yeah, well just appreciate it quietly, eh? Don’t need the other girls thinkin’ they can get a free ride out of me,” he glanced at you, giving you a small smile that made your heart flip in your chest. You watched as he started the car, and he turned to you, “Why do you stay in that neighborhood, anyway?” He asked you. “It’s so far from town, the buildings are old, the landlords are pricks…”
“It’s the only neighborhood that houses Blacks,” you answered, “Or at least it’s the only one that houses us at an affordable price.”
“Hm,” he nodded, looking ahead as he drove, the smoke from his cigarette billowing from his lips, “Am I paying you that poorly?”
You laughed, and you didn’t miss the way his lips twitched upwards as you did. “You pay me well above the usual rate. I’m just saving it up, is all. I can’t have you driving me around forever, Mr. Shelby—”
“—Tommy,” he corrected you.
You rolled your eyes, making him chuckle, “Tommy,” you amended yourself.
“I don’t mind it, you know,” he said, turning the wheel, “driving you. These last few days, it’s been… nice,” he paused, “I don’t get a lot of time for good company or conversation on me own.”
“Oh, so I’m good company, am I?” You said with a grin.
Tommy turned to you, those diamond blue eyes staring right into your soul, “You’re a smart girl,” he replied, “Loyal, Trustworthy. Hard working. And you’re bloody gorgeous so. Yes. You make for good company.”
You felt your cheeks heat up, and your eyes darted down to your lap. You’d heard that Tommy Shelby was a charmer, and that he’d had pretty much every woman who’s worked for him—minus his aunt and his sister-in-law, of course—but you’d never seen him so… forward.
You liked it.
“Have I made you uncomfortable?” He asked casually, as if he was asking about the weather.
“No,” you answered, looking over at him, “You make for good company too.”
He gave a wry smile then. “Fishin’ for a raise, eh?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Either I’m loyal and trustworthy, or I’m bootlicker. Which is it, Tommy?”
He laughed, and the sound made you warm all over. Tommy didn’t laugh nearly as often as he should. “Fair enough,” he nodded, “You’re not a bootlicker, that’s for sure,” he glanced over at you again, “I haven’t figured out what it is you are yet…”
“I’m a girl who isn’t gonna let you fuck her just cause you’ve given me a few rides,” you said back, speaking before you could stop yourself.
He raised his eyebrows, nodding. “Is that what you think is going on here?” He asked. “My driving you home from work? You think I’m doing this for sex?”
You licked your lips, nervous now. “Well, I mean no offense, Mr.—Tommy—but I’ve worked for you for three months now, and I think I know you well enough to know that you never do anything for nothing.”
Tommy smirked. “That’s true,” he stopped the car, letting a mother and her kids pass in front, and looked at you, his eyes staring into yours brazenly, “So, let’s have it. Give me your theories,” he started the car again, glancing back at you as he spoke, “Why, then, do you think that I do this?”
You paused. Maybe you were being presumptuous. Maybe he didn’t want to sleep with you. Just because he called you gorgeous, didn’t mean he wanted to fuck you, after all. Maybe he didn’t mean what he said—although Tommy always meant what he said. Maybe, though, he really was just concerned about your wellbeing. A woman walking home alone at night could be vulnerable to all kinds of dangers, and given the amount of enemies the Shelbys had… You looked over at Tommy. “You do this for everyone,” you surmised.
Tommy turned to you, an eyebrow raised. “You think I would do this for just anybody?”
Again, you paused. “Yes?”
“Well, I don’t,” he said back, “I’ve never driven any of the girls home—except for Lizzie, but that’s only because I fucked her,” he went on, blunt as ever, “This takes up a portion of my time, and I’m not a man who has a lot of time to waste,” he looked over at you, “I like being around you,” he confessed, “I like the way you talk. I like the way you think, and when I think of you alone at night… I can’t sleep. I can never sleep, but still…” He took his cigarette and tossed it, giving a humorless chuckle. “You make me ramble,” he went on, shrugging one shoulder, “I don’t ramble, least not since France...” He paused for a moment. “When I’m busy, and one of the lads takes you home instead, it ruins me night. It irritates me that I missed out on that time with you, and that another man got it instead,” he glanced at you again, “Is that alright to say?”
You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “I prefer it when you drive me,” you admitted, “Not that the others aren’t nice and all—they are—but… I do like this time with you, being alone with you…”
Tommy looked at you, his sky-blue eyes staring into yours, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. Wordlessly, he pulled the car over, turning to face you fully. “Tomorrow is Friday,” he said, and you blinked, confused as to why he was telling you something you already knew, “Pay day. I’d like to take you out to dinner. Maybe see a picture after. Would that be alright?”
You felt your lips spread out in a smile, and Tommy smiled back, chuckling a bit at the excitement in your eyes. “Yes,” you answered, “yes, that’d be alright.”
“But I want to be honest with you,” he went on, “I respect you as an employee, and you’ve been a good friend to me these past months, and regardless of what happens tomorrow night, I will still make sure you have a safe way home after work,” he leaned forward a bit, his voice low and deep, “but I want it known that I very much do want to fuck you.”
His words sent a flush of heat through you, and you had to remind yourself that you were a lady, not a whore…no matter how much Tommy Shelby’s glimmering eyes and sharp jawline made you want to be… Biting your lip, you smiled at him, “I’m not going to open my legs for you on the first date, Tommy.”
He laughed, taking out another cigarette and lighting it, the flame reflecting in his ocean-colored eyes. “Mm, we’ll see,” he murmured, “So it’s a date then?”
“It’s a date.”
The rest of the drive passed quickly—too quickly for your taste. The two of you discussed work and your families and what movie you’d like to see, and before you knew it, he was parked outside of your building.
He opened the door for you and walked you to the front door like a gentleman. And you thanked him—
—with a kiss.
If the kiss took him by surprise, Tommy didn’t show it. As soon as your lips touched his, his arm was wrapped around you, keeping you close. The kiss was soft, but firm, and Tommy’s slender body felt magnificent against yours. You wondered, at the back of your mind, what your neighbors would think, seeing you necking with Tommy fucking Shelby of the Peaky fucking Blinders, but you couldn’t be bothered to care about what the gossips may say.
You were too busy trying to keep yourself from floating off in a haze of bliss.
You pulled back first, and Tommy let you. You couldn’t keep the smile off of your face. “I’m not letting you up, Tommy.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“Like hell you didn’t,” you smirked, making him laugh.
“I’m a patient man,” he said back, taking a step back, “I can wait until tomorrow.”
You laughed at that, but the truth was, you were quite certain that tomorrow night, when Tommy pulled up in front of your apartment, he wouldn’t be driving off until the sun rose.
In fact, you were counting on it.
You watched him drive off from your window, a sigh escaping from deep in your chest, the taste of him—mint and smoke and a hint of whiskey—fresh on your lips. Tommy fucking Shelby…
…what had you gotten yourself into?
*******************************************************************************************
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Text
L.A. Confidential Part 2-l.r.h
CONTAINS SMUT!
Word Count: 1734
I hope you guys enjoy Part 2!
You angled your camera in order to get a better shot of the boys as they absolutely killed their show for the night. They had a gig at some big theater in southern California, and it was sold out. Luke had begged you to come to the show, and you couldn’t ever say no to him. It had been nearly two weeks since the last late night rendezvous between you and Luke, and the tension was almost unbearable. 
Chloe had been up his ass lately, and you’re assuming it was because of the recent article posted about her and a up and coming rapper who was starting to make it big. His publicity was skyrocketing since he had his first number one hit, and hanging out with a new possible love interest was a new spike in attention. You were one of the first to know about it considering you worked in the media most of the time. You had first hand ties with publishers who would often use your pictures for their articles.
His girlfriend was backstage watching from their dressing room instead of out in the crowd as she should be. You cheered as they finished the song ‘Valentine,’ and Luke ended it with beautiful vocals. His sparkling blue eyes searched the front row and finally found you, relief filling his nerves. The lights went dim in the building, and you put it upon yourself to find your way to the backstage door. Once finding the door handle, you let yourself in and saw Chloe sitting on the couch texting on her phone. Probably talking to her new boyfriend. Instead of paying attention to her, you looked over at the guys and grinned. 
“You guys did awesome!”
“Did you get any good pictures of me? I need to set them up on my tinder.” Calum said while reaching out towards your camera. You tugged it away from him and giggled. 
“Fuck off, both you and your tinder.” That comment caused the other three to laugh before walking towards you. 
“You see the article?” Ashton mumbled in your ear before glancing at Luke. You nodded discreetly and narrowed your eyes towards the blonde still sitting on her phone. 
“Do you believe them?”
“Do you?” He questions back. Well that wasn’t very promising.
“So, how about that afterparty?” Calum buts in. Mikey shrugs his shoulder and looks to Luke.
“I’m down, are you down?” Luke shook his head yes, but not before he took his last glance at Chloe.
“Yeah, for sure.” 
At this, Chloe’s head perks up. “Who said anything about an afterparty? We had that party at my friend’s house tonight.”
You rolled your eyes, not able to bear the sound of her voice. “Chlo, this is my band. I’d pick the afterparty over hers any day.” Chloe sighed at his reply before getting up off the couch and stalked over to him. Her arms rested over his shoulders while staring into his eyes. 
“See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says while she leans forward, her lips puckered to kiss his lips. Instead, Luke turns his head to the side causing her lips to peck his cheek. “Alright, you guys ready?” He asked, looking to you.
You nodded. “Of course.”
*
Bodies touched everywhere you looked, it was hot and sweaty in the club. You couldn’t find anybody that you knew anywhere. Your breath caught in your throat as you frantically searched through groups of people in hopes that you’d find one of the boys. Panic sets in once you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist. Quickly turning around, you notice it’s a random guy. Backing away from him, your back hits a hard body. Their arms reach out to yours to turn you around, and relief automatically rushed through you. Luke stood there with a look that could kill, staring right at the man who touched you. The man raised his hands up in defense before walking away. Luke brought you under his arm and walked towards the exit.
“We’re leaving?” You asked. He stopped before he opened the door. “It’s only been forty-five minutes.”
Guiding you outside, there was a taxi that waited for you to crawl in. Bending down to your ear, he mumbled, “I need to get you alone.” And that was all it took to get you in the back of the taxi as it drove through the city towards his hotel on the outskirts of it all. His hand rested on your inner thigh, gently caressing his fingers along the available skin showing due to the short length of your dress. The city lights cascaded through the window, dimly lighting the features on his face. It almost looked like he wanted to cry, and Luke never cried. 
Naturally, your hand reached up to cup his cheek in your hand, turning his head to look at you. “What’s wrong?” He shook his head, waiting on the taxi to slow to a stop in front of his hotel. His hand reached out to grab yours and dragged you to the elevator inside the building. “Lu-”
“You knew about the articles? And the photos?” He asked as soon as you were alone in the elevator. You stared silently at the floor. “(Y/n).”
“Yes.” You said quietly. Without a warning, he paused the elevator from going any farther by pressing the red button. Leaning against the wall, he ran his hands through his hair and tugged at the ends. A bitter laugh falling from his lips. 
“I can’t fucking believe this,” he says, thoughts corralling his brain. “I can’t believe you.”
“Me?” You question with shock. “Why should I tell you anything if all you’re going to do is stay with her?!” Your voice became louder than it has before, surprising him. 
“(Y/n)-”
“No, don’t. I-I do everything for you! But management always comes first, you know, when are you gonna get rid of that piece of shit publicist you got yourself, huh? That’s who’s making your life a living-” Before you could finish, his hands grabbed the sides of your face and pressed his lips to yours. Your first reaction should’ve been to push him away, but you deepened the kiss anyways. He swiftly pushed you against the other side of the elevator, the cold wall sending shivers up your spine. 
“Luke..” You mumbled next to his cheek as his lips traveled down your neck, gently nipping at your skin. “W-We can’t-”
“I just need you right now.” He begged, his voice strangled from the emotions he was feeling earlier. Giving in, you reached down to undo his belt buckle and unbuttoned his suit pants. His hand went down and helped you by sliding his pants down just enough to reveal his boxers. Once he did that, your dress was then hiked up around your waist and panties were pushed to the side.
His hand reached behind your right thigh and tugged it up so that he could keep the crease of your knee in the crease of his arm. You stared between the two of you as he pulled his member out of his boxers and lined up with your entrance. After a few agonizing seconds, he finally entered you, pressing your body further against the wall. A whimper escaped your lips at the feel of him inside you, but a hand slapped over your mouth. 
“People can hear you outside the elevator, doll.” You nodded, attempting to stay quiet as he reached down to grab your other leg, hoisting you up against the wall. He slammed into you constantly, skin slapping against your own. It was hard to stay quiet when all you wanted to do was scream out with pleasure. “Trust me, once I get you in the hotel room, you can scream all you want.”
“Oh god, I-” You reached forward, pulling his face to yours in a heated kiss in order to muffle the sounds of pleasure emitting from you as you came around him. Luke chuckled against your lips, him coming shortly after. 
He gently placed your feet back on the ground, steadying your wobbly form. You yanked your dress back down your legs. Luke buckled his pants back up and smoothed out his shirt and looked at you. Noticing stray hairs sticking out, he placed them back behind your ears and admired how your lips slowly tilted up in a smile as he did so. Leaning over, he pressed the button again and waited for the door to open back up to go to the hotel room.
*
Your naked forms laid tangled in the sheets nearing three in the morning, both huffing from the acts of just moments ago. Not only did you do it in the elevator, but you went back to the room and did it not once, not twice, but three more times before calling it quits for the night. Your head rested on his bare chest as is heaved up and down, your finger tracing lines along his stomach. Your leg was draped over his as you laid there, attempting not to fall asleep.
A buzz from a phone laying on the bedside table broke you two from your haze. Luke reached over and grabbed the phone that was lit up, which happened to be his. A low groan escaped his lips and he scrolled through the few texts he received from no one other than Chloe herself. Apparently, he had sent her a message about the articles he saw earlier that night and she was trying to apologize for them. No excuses were made about why the media made these assumptions, but she was sorry for them. He held down the power button and completely shut down his device and tossed it back on the table. 
“I can’t keep doing this, Lu.” You whispered, almost inaudible. A frown was placed on your face as you said those words. Your feelings for the Aussie had grown dramatically, and the fact that you couldn’t do anything more about it was only hurting you.
He sighed, wrapping an arm around your figure and bringing you closer to his. “I know.”
“Doesn’t it hurt you? That she treats you like this?”
He nodded. “I’m waiting on my publicist to say something. His contract is over in a week, after that, I make my own decisions.”
You leaned up, matching the height of his face with yours. “Good.”
“Then I’ll be all yours.”
You smiled to yourself before kissing his lips gently. “All mine.”
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