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#i need them to teach me their ways
pessimisticgh0st · 1 year
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My brain is so confusing. Like one moment I want to tell someone everything about me and just actually say what I'm thinking, but then most of the time I don't want anyone to know me and I just want to stay invisible and never speak again
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chawliekin · 5 months
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and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…
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haunted-xander · 8 months
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Baby's first kiss(ing attempt)
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saltpepperbeard · 1 year
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you know which moment i feel like we don't talk about enough?
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THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
The goofy choked laugh Stede does, the way Ed giggles back, the affectionate shoulder pat, the way they both smile so brightly, the way it feels SO comfortable and so casual and so warm even though they've only know each other for a short amount of time...
And the way it makes me that much more excited for all their little private, sweet, and silly moments awaiting us.
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puppyeared · 3 months
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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thwispsings · 5 months
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the idea came to me in a migraine induced dream but now im obsessed with the concept of a mu qingfang who knew the abuse bunhe was going through at the hands of og!shen qingqiu/shen jiu and did his best to treat the kid whenever he could (and bring his concerns to zhangmen shixiong, which were obviously very much ignored) and his constant worry over the situation means that when the qi deviation happens he is suspicious of shen qingqiu’s changes for all different reasons and very much protective of luo binghe -who is a sweet child and an earnest disciple who seems to always find the most incredible medicinal herbs to bring to his mu shishu as thanks for the care bestowed upon him- which means that when the whole shen qingqiu dying thing happens instead of bad mouthing luo binghe or fighting him at every chance he does his best to come over and keep an eye on things to try and help him and make sure luo binghe won’t kill himself trying to bring shen qingqiu back because he remembers that earnest kid and he’s witnessed luo binghe’s devotion to this shen qingqiu first hand and knows there is no way that the kid who cried when ning yingying found a bird with a broken wing and begged mu qingfang to fix it and the kid that would always borrow medical texts and try to find new herb combinations as if it was a game between him and qian cao disciples is actually doing anything nefarious to shen qingqiu’s corpse.
anyways in this essay i will-
#listen#binghe needs to have more people in his corner#and for some reason i have imprinted on mqf#so you get cool healer uncle#who probably smoked weed with binghe and made him promise to keep quiet#lbh and mqf bonding activity was teaching lbh to properly roll joints#anyways mqf understanding that the rituals are intricate and lqg doesn’t have any other way of coping with his grief#but the first time lqg injures lbh almost to death in a fight they get into a screaming match so violent#that no bai zhan discipline will look at him in the face without going pale for the next month#that is his nephew! who found several thought-to-be-extinct herbs for him!#also him telling sqq that lbh might have forgotten what he did but mqf certainly didn’t#a healer never forgets the wounds they heal#and sqq is just like yeah brother me neither :(#mqf is going to therapy these idiots so fucking hard#lbh also keeps trying to matchmake him with some nice demons in his court like shamelessly trying to poach his mu shishu#also he and shang qinghua are the only ones who still get the full shishu treatment#except lbh kinda bullies sqh a little for the virtue of the whole mbj situation#(hes never gonna let them live that down)#anyways it’s whatever at first but at one poont years in the future it does become a point of contempt with the other peak lords#nothing can take away from me that when bored they will squabble like children#such is the way of bored adults#i have rambled enough so normal tags now#svsss#svsss writing#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#bingqiu#svsss au
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shroommush · 5 months
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Both c!slime and q!slime became murderers because of an accident.
Do with this what you will :3
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sea-jello · 23 days
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near soho. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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sammygender · 4 months
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so many people can’t conceptualise emotional neglect as anything other than ‘my parents were cold and distant and never talked about feelings with me’, and this, while being just a general awful problem of course, is also what leads to so much john winchester mischaracterisation. in this essay i will
#like. it can also be#a parent who you’re close to who is actually extremely emotional and explosive and reactive#and via forcing you to look after their emotional needs and spilling their problems all over you also teaches you that your feelings qrs re#unimportant and that you’re unimportant. even if they dont necessarily mean to or they dont with their words!#anyway i’m sure john winchester was a mix of the two#but my point is like. God this applies to so much actually#there’s this incredibly pervasive idea that damaging parenting has to be like. i dunno. distant somehow#your parents don’t love you. you’re not close to your parents#and obviously that IS damaging but it’s not the only way a parental relationship can be damaging… far from it#and a lot of what makes john so interesting to me is he DOES love the boys. of course he does#and he isn’t some hyper repressed incredibly macho figure either like some people characterise him#he’s warm with the boys when we see him in s1. sure he turns all his emotions into anger but it’s always very clear he Has deep emotions.#everything he does is powered by ‘love’#(theoretically).#like. hes obviously close with dean. he even has strong ideals about parenting when he starts off (see 70s era john disgusted at how future#john actually raised them lol).#and he’s still extremely abusive and neglectful and damages sam and dean soooo much. like. all that can coexist#and it’s such a disservice to flatten his character and pretend it doesn’t#plus it just offends me. like come on.#idk i guess a lot of people like to project their own bad experiences onto john and it’s not like i’m saying they shouldn’t do that#but. characterisation wise#he’s awful in a very specific way#spn#john winchester#oliver talks
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laceratedlamiaceae · 2 years
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Pitching an episode called Fuck, Marry, Kill that's just 3 montages of Izzy fucking random guys, Lucius and Pete preparing for their wedding, and Ed and Stede trying to kill each other spliced together
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olivegardenhunter · 4 months
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The sannin as normal childhood friends who have sleepovers and play games in the forest and bond over liking "gross" animals
anon thank you SO much for this mental image. you have made my very miserable assignment-filled day. I have many thoughts about the sannin and baby sannin being inseparable best friends who were just normal kids make up about 90% of them. here's some hc I have about that (sorry for the massively long post, I'm a yapper at heart)
yes absolutely. I like to think of the sannin as misfits who never fit in anywhere else except with each other. there's so many different reasons for this. we know they became genin at age 6. if this makes them the exception, rather than it being the normal practice for a village in tumultuous times, then this must have meant each of them were prodigies in their own rights in the academy (yes, even Jiraiya I'd say, though I'd suspect his was more a case of recognised potential rather than showing any obvious prodigal talent from the get-go). this is further reinforced by the fact the third hokage became their sensei. I doubt the hokage would've taken up any random group of genin as his students. if this is the case, can you imagine how difficult it must've been for them to make friends with others, their age or otherwise? not only would it be hard to relate to their other peers cause of the age and probably ability gap, but I'd imagine people would've found them downright intimidating! all this, along with all their individual personality which, if their 6 year old selves were anything like their 50 year old selves, would've meant the little baby sannin would not have been anyone's first choice of friends.
so I'd imagine each of them being a bit of loners in the academy. then they get put in a team together. recognise they each stick out like a sore thumb from everyone else, but have all of the above common ground. their personalities are difficult for each to get used to initially, but once they do, these three super super super quickly become absolutely inseperable. to call them family would've been a serious underestimate of their relationship imo.
anyway this is all a long winded way of saying YES they're absolutely those regular childhood best friends who have sleepovers and hang out and play games. I imagine that tsunade grew up with a massive family in a massive loving home. direct contrast to orochimaru who's an orphan and, I imagine jiraiya is an orphan too (hence no canon last name). therefore, the senju compound is typically the designated sleepover venue.
the senju compound has mito, and nawaki, and depending on what your hcs are, would have tsunades parents, and I'd think they'd still effectively live like royalties even if the first and second are dead. (hashirama and tobirama wouldn't be around anymore by the time the three became genin I think, because (and someone correct me if I'm wrong) hiruzen would've already been hokage when he took on the three of them as his students, meaning tobirama would have already passed)
jiraiya and orochimaru just being at awe at the way tsunade lives and just how lively her house is and tsunade is just happy to have kids her age at home with her that just gets her cause her parents always nag her about training and chores, mito still treats her like a baby even though she's already a Shinobi that can take care of herself damn it!, and nawaki is so young he's so boring and sometimes gets annoying. so she always convinces her fellow teammates to come over to her house to practice and train, to babysit nawaki with her, to be the test dummy for try out this new jutsu or technique she's learning, and anything else that she insists she cannot do alone and needs them to be there with her
until suddenly it's already dark and oh her teammates can't possibly walk home all alone at this hour and besides my mum's making dinner and it's your favourite jiraiya and she'd scold me if I didn't offer some to you guys and orochimaru, mito found some sort of old scroll that uncle tobirama wrote about a new jutsu that she wants your thoughts on and besides, we have to meet sensei soooo early tomorrow for our mission and the training ground is closer from my house anyway, and you guys are just trying to get out of the bet we made and that's cheating y'know! and and and suddenly the senju compound just so happen to always have a few sets extra clothes and pyjamas that just so happened to be orochimaru and jiraiya's size and hey oro, raiya, look! it's got toads and snakes! and it matches mine! and the adults always just so happen to have two extra plates set at the table during meals, and the house just so happens to always be stocked up with both her teammate's favourite snacks, and orochimaru and jiraiya can suddenly enter the senju compound at any time of the day, with or without tsunade, and are greeted joyfully by the household's residents who had started nagging at them about training and chores and picking up after themselves, and mito is treating them like babies even though they're fully trained shinobis! and nawaki is being sooo annoying today and damn it, why isn't tsunade home yet? we agreed to train at 3!
(the three of them never quite notice that jiraiya or orochimaru's unannounced visits to the senju compound never trigger any of the seals that are activated by the presence of non-senju, non-family chakra in the compound. they never quite notice that the anbu guards at the front never give jiraiya and orochimaru any of the trouble or scrutiny that any visitors or guests to the senju compound are always subjected to, and the guards merely let them in with a slight bow of their heads, the same way they would to tsunade, or mito, or her parents.)
the only other times the sleepover isn't at tsunade's place is when there's a thunderstorm and orochimaru insists he needs to spend the night at his apartment because he tells them that last time the storm was this bad, lightning had struck a branch that smashed through his apartment that, if he wasn't already there and was even a little slower, would have destroyed the very few things his parents had left him that he so carefully keeps in a chest and he cannot ever take the risk that that would ever happen again he lost his power and his food went bad in his fridge, and c'mon tsu, you know oro not-so-secretly has a fear of thunder! don't you remember what happened last time at that mission where we were camping? we can't possibly let him spend the night alone at his house!
(later on when they're older, they'll come to find that jiraiya's new jonin apartment will become the new designated sleepover venue as jiraiya begins bringing back questionable sake from his missions that they were definitely too young to be having that he could not have possibly obtained that legally, and mito started banning them from playing card games at the senju compound when she noticed her granddaughter's tendency to lose her entire pay packet in a single game was becoming a bit too familiar to her... like a certain husband of hers' gambling habits that she had tried so hard to make sure wouldn't get passed on to the grandchild who the man had unwittingly taught said card games to at the age of 4. jiraiya started to call his apartment the degenerates' club then, much to the other two's dismay. though they couldn't quite protest when he correctly pointed out they were absolutely behaving like degenerates, even if princess tsunade and the leaf's once-in-a-generation prodigy felt like they were above those sort of disreputable behaviour.)
jiraiya and orochimaru fight tooth and nail that the massive forest that makes up the backyard of the compound, created by the shodaime himself of course, is the only reason they choose to hang out with tsunade at the senju compound, because princess tsunade (dammit oro stop calling me that!), the shodaime hokage seemed to have left so many fascinating things in this forest, there's so many secrets to discover. I don't think I've seen any of these species anywhere else in Konoha. I believe the secrets to some of his jutsu or techniques lie in this forest... oro you're such a nerd. and besides, Princess, the snakes here really seem to like oro for some reason and I think the toads are about to make me their king, I'm sure of it! and also, me and oro are the only people who don't find the fact you use the slime from those slugs in your potions or whatever absolutely disgusting, so we're the only friends you have to play in this gigantic forest with in the first place (it's not potions, it's a new medicinal gel I'm creating! and can you two just shut up? hide and seek is supposed to be a SILENT game and right now, you both really suck at it! I can literally locate you without even moving!) ...hey tsu, is mito-sama going to make those cookies she made last time again? she told me yesterday she would cause hiruzen-sensei told her we did a good job on our last mission.
the three of them knew everyone in Konoha had started calling them the 'Hokage's brats' behind their backs. but none of them realised that, particularly among the elders, this didn't seem to just be in reference to their sensei... there were other, more hushed whispers going around that if they had tried to listen to, would've sounded something like the adopted senjus... or lord first and second's legacies...
(these rumours may or may not have started when people started noticing tsunade's parents went from talking about their two children they adored, to their three rascals plus sweet little nawaki. or when mito kept comparing jiraiya's antics and personality to hashirama or orochimaru's brooding nature and hunger for knowledge was like tobirama's, or how tsunade's own hot temper and tenacity but also mischief was like her own's and the many Uzumakis that came before her, and that all three of them together balanced each other the way she, hashirama, and tobirama had. or when hiruzen constantly raves about his students and how much he sees his senseis in each of them and how the will of fire burns so brightly in them that he knew lord first and second would be extremely proud to see. in the end, though tsunade may have been the only one who shared a name with the senju founders, everybody couldn't help but see hashirama and tobirama and everything they had been and everything they had stood for in all three of the legendary sannin.)
#why yes i AM supposed to be doing my assignment right now#thank you anon for the ask and my apologies for taking your idea and absolutely RUNNING with it to the hills#as you can see i have a lot of thoughts when it comes to the baby sannin#with everything we know about the senjus (so not much) and all their stuff about the will of fire and the village being their family#there is absolutely NO WAY that they see tsunade's beloved teammates that she wont shut up about and see that theyre both orphans#that are in need of a little bit of love and family#and not immediately decided to adopt the two of them whether they like it or not#i absolutely believe that soon after they became a team the senjus started considering jiraiya and orochimaru as family#without even a shred of doubt in their mind#for as far it matters to them oro and jiraiya were one of them and were family no matter what#cause thats the kind of teachings that hashirama would've passed down#and cmon orochimaru had to learn tobiramas techniques somehow#i doubt these techniques were public knowledge#and jiraiyas proximity to the senjus could also be how minato learnt tobiramas technique too#but these hc just make what happened after the second war with the three of them so much more tragic#anyway anon i take your childhood friends sannin idea and raise it with inseperable unbreakable found family bond sannin#they mean everything to me#sannin#nart#meta#hc#tsunade#jiraiya#orochimaru#senju clan#mito#the legendary sannin#tsunade senju#naruto#naruto meta
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the threesome we all need is lottie, laura lee, and nat in a church
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kiok0r0 · 3 months
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"Hey Kioko, how's the new job?"
I now understand why people advocate so strongly for universal healthcare. Insurance is such bullshit. But aside from that. This is a terrible job.
"It's only been two weeks. What's going on?"
Okay.
So I didn't think this through.
More under because the rant's long
This job I'm at is at a clinic. They're open three and a half days each week, it's typically 30 hours per week. I've got no experience or knowledge of medical terminology and medical computer programs. I admitted this in the interview we had. I was way too over the moon when they IMMEDIATELY HIRED ME AFTER ONE INTERVIEW. Why do I know they immediately hired me? They sent me forms that jobs normally send after someone gets hired. That should have been, you know, two red flags. But again, they wanted me to come in for a work interview, so I thought maybe they wanted my paperwork beforehand so I can do the work interview.
No, I literally missed the signs. I mean, I thought it was weird but I sort of thought they were super eager. And then after that work interview, they asked how soon I could start.
"I want to at least do my two weeks at my other jobs." Since, to be honest, while I hated one of the jobs, the managers at both places have been super kind.
"Can you ask if it's possible to leave earlier?" The doctor asks without hesitation.
Also another thing to say, I don't have a lot of work experience. I've been hired on the spot for one of my other jobs and didn't have a job at the time so I didn't really need to do a two week notice. But a two week notice is a courtesy. And again, while I didn't like the job, I really liked the managers. They have been patient and flexible with me and didn't pressure me to do things I couldn't do. So I felt rushed and slightly offended. But I brushed it off. Maybe they just thought I would be a good fit for the position and really wanted me to start soon.
So I started Tuesday. Realized I had to leave to celebrate my brother's graduation this week. Here was what the doctor did when I told him that I would be gone Friday and the first half of next week:
I have essentially did a speed run of the basics of the tasks I'm supposed to do the four days I've been in so far.
It's not even the end of week 2, mind you, and I haven't done a complete week at this place yet. Sure, the doctor's not expecting me to be an expert, but when I am the only one working at the front desk and I have no experience in the medical field or know how to do insurance claims maybe there should be a lot of training.
There is none. I have been taught way too many things in the span of four work days that takes thirty minutes to explain to me. And then it eats away my time because a new thing arises that the doctor didn't teach me.
He's expecting questions from me. I have so many and he's not available at all times. And I don't know how to tackle a lot of things without asking for help. There is no one available all the time. I am floundering. I'm spending way too much time after closing to figure out what to do by myself.
No one is teaching me how to read insurances. No one is teaching me how to explain to patients why their bill is like this. No one is teaching me how to be good on my own. This is the worst job with training. I'm essentially the face of a clinic who's trying to maintain people's health. And I have to learn "along the way"?
I don't know. I feel that when I'm in charge of looking at someone's expenses for their health, I feel there should be someone that should be training me from the moment I get into the office and the moment I leave.
I told myself I'll give this a chance. I wanted to give myself a year, 6 months at the bare minimum. Now I think I'll give it 3 months.
Oh and they told me my position is "office manager" when I had to tell someone what my position at the clonic is other than being just being an office clerk. Which. Was the job title on Indeed.
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squeakadeeks · 8 months
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moodboard for this past week ❤️
#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane#i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile#this week was just horrible#there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe#even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment#during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll#the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab#AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ?????#then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly#i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window#im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard-#to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner#which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment#where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough#and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful#and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired.#im in so much pain and so stressed out#debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame
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c00kietin · 18 days
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I cried over my maths teacher today </3
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stagefoureddiediaz · 5 months
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Something something about Buck and learning and or teaching.
Something something about Buck teaching when he really needed to be learning.
I just keep thinking about how the show has increasingly - especially last season - put Buck into the role of 'teacher' - including his coma dream. (i'm using teacher for the lack of a better term!) and how in the aftermath of the coma dream - he's been trying to teach but it hasn't worked - instead he's been learning.
I've been musing on the fact that even back in season 1 Buck has been in a teacher role -
Abby learning to chose herself and go for her happiness,
Bobby learning to let people in and Buck being a major part of that because of their developing father-son type relationship
'teaching' Eddie that he could rely on other people for help
Maddie learning at Bucks hand that she didn't need to keep running, that she could lean on him for support and build a new life for herself
Ravi being tutored by Buck in the fire house
even Lucy being given advice by Buck - teaching her through his own experiences in dumb luck
Buck making himself into a teacher in his coma dream and the idea that all these people he has helped teach teaching him that he has a place with them and that he is important
and so many more examples through the seasons that I won't list or I'd be here forever!
Because there has been a lot of emphasis on teaching and learning since Buck woke up from his coma - he learnt he was good at maths, but then wasn't allowed to help Chris with his maths homework because it would be cheating.
used his maths skills to win at Poker - but got taught lessons even in victory - rather than teaching others lessons (whatever they might have been)
Natalia being interested in him because he could teach her about death and things going south pretty quickly when it became evident that Buck needed to learn how to live again rather than be stuck in death
And now we've had several mentions by Tommy of him teaching Buck things - teaching him to fly, teaching him Mauy Thai, all the way to him being his bi awakening is teaching him about a part of himself he didn't know. Things are turned on their head - Buck is the student not the master now
Even with Eddie this season, we've seen him teaching Buck things - rather than Eddie learning from him - Eddie handing over this really important thing going on with Chris - Eddie knowing that Buck would be a better option - that Chris would open up to him more - is teaching Buck about his importance in the Diaz family - re-enforcing that he is part of their life. Its also Eddie who has had the good advice for Buck this time rather than the other way round.
Something something about 'you like to be the guy with the answers' to Buck becoming the guy with the (maths) answers - only for it to fade away and now he's having to learn
Something something about the tie to Buck and death and the resurrection and how Christ was the teacher up to and immediately after his death and resurrection when he left others on earth to spread his teachings and he ascended to learn at the right hand of god
Something something about how that is the key to happiness and that is what Buck has figured out and that is why his journey to figuring that out has had him wearing the bright blue - because in Christianity - that shade of blue is the colour of the kingdom of heaven (because it is the colour of the sky!) so putting Buck in it at all these key markers of his journey is showing him as being on the road to ascension.
This post is a mess - I don't even know what it is any more! I started with one idea about teaching and Tommy and then more kept coming and we ended up here!!!!
#I know technically that they all teach and learn from each other and that others were also involved in these scenes#but I'm just interested in the fact that the tables have now been turned on Buck specifically and he is now the student#I think thats interesting as a character study - Buck who learnt to survive on his own and teach himself now getting to go back to learning#look here I am - atheist me blabbering on about religious symbolism around Buck once again!!!#Im fascinated in it though - especially in relation to Eddies catholic guilt and the way that the show is using much more#scientific symbolism around him - hearts and guts and the mind - all working organs (or groups of organs)#that have these metaphorical and intuitive attributes attached to them#but all have important real world functions that a human need to survive#and the fact that we've got Buck to this point of 'ascension' and Eddie effectively working on the last of the three - the gut#well I think that is pretty telling - once Eddie has his gut under control/ worked out (catholic guilt) then he will be in a position to#'ascend' as well.#and don't even get me started on the triangle symbolisim within all of this - the holy trinity and the trifecta of heart mind and gut#because they are playing into the triangles this season - literally every where!!!#I feel like at this point if they put Buck in purple (esp if hes wearing it when buddie go canon) - the holiest of colours and#one associated with magic -then I will be the one ascending - because that would be the ultimate#this show is insane!!#it makes me insane - I'm insane!!#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#911 meta
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