#i never got into the shipping thing bc it was so obvious what kind of effect it was having

[first-blight]

. . . i'm too aro for this

[lakemichigans]

are we okay to talk about the v d a y vid now and how sad it is that the very platform they built their careers and lives on was the platform that essentially outed them in such a traumatic way. obviously the youtube glitch was just an accident but can you even believe the cosmic irony of it all

[kings-highway]

haikyuu ships but its things about their relationships or moments that I think would surprise their friends/teammates

starting off with my boys Daisuga: honestly definitely the rest of the team forgets that they haven't been together forever, and are never expecting when either of them are acting like, well, teenagers in a relationship. Specifically in regards to being shy in front of each other or wanting to impress each other, the rest of the team always is surprised by it because in their mind, like, why are you feeling insecure in this relationship I thought you've been dating for 2 years and Suga is just like "try 3 months BITCH now I need you to find out what his favourite kind of chocolate is I'll pay you real money if he doesnt realize why you're asking."

right along to Kagehina and honestly, literally even just realizing they have a normal relationship. I think everyone absolutely understands how they got together, but I imagine the first time ANYONE sees them out in public together they ALL have a moment thats like "oh shit they like... are actually dating" and every time Kagehina is just like... on a lunch date, or going shopping, walking a dog, just chatting. Like people are surprised that they genuinely spend time together outside of sports. The first time Kageyama goes with Hinata as his date to a family wedding the entire family is flabberghasted bc they definitely thought this was an on-court obsession only

Iwaoi is really simple, literally just people realizing that Iwaizumi has genuine romantic affection towards him is the funniest thing to me. There's a week where Iwaoi is worried bc Iwa had to go to school with a hickey on his neck but literally NOBODY bats an eye or even mentions it because "yeah Oikawa obviously-" but when theyre changing for practice and they see that Oikawa has a hickey on his neck the entire team goes feral and practically tackles Iwaizumi like "you committed to kissing him for that long?????? YOU?????" like they cannot comprehend Iwaizumi actively participating. (obviously this is also the only time they every see Iwazumi embarassed enough to visibly blush which only compounds things.)

Bokuaka's is so stupid but honestly - the first moment the team realizes that Akaashi is, like, attracted to Bokuto and isnt just his best friend that got carried away. Konoha catches Akaashi checking out Bokuto's ass as he's leaving the changing room and it legitimately ruins Konoha's day. What is he supposed to do with this information.

To be completely fair, Ushiten as a concept probably absolutely baffles the entire Shiratorizawa team for multiple reasons. I think though the obvious one is that the rest of the team cannot understand how little Ushijima is bothered by any of Tendou's antics, where Tendou is VRRY touchy and goofy and lots of PDA and affection and Ushijima is completely receptive and unbothered by it, if not going out of his way to intentionally make Tendou laugh to invite him to more. Like Tendou absolutely would sit on his lap during lunch and Reon would be sitting there losing his mind bc last time he sat too close to Ushijima he got a lecture on personal space. Oh, but now suddenly he's super chill and relaxed and nothing bothers him its tendou doing it.

Asanoya's is a little sad tbh but I think, specifically the second and first years, would be surprised by how serious Noya is about the relationship and how little he tolerates jokes about them being opposites/a surprising pair or any of that. Like theyre shocked to find out how seriously he's taking being a boyfriend and really trying to make sure Asahi is happy. The idea that it isnt superficial or just for fun for him is surprising to them.

Arankita - in a comedy of errors Atsumu accidentally finds out they they are ~no longer virgins~ and legitimately has to leave practice for 20 minutes. There's a piece of him, and the rest of the team, that had 100% believed Kita was a robot and they just.... the idea that this was something that happened organically and not for "procreation" doesnt fit in their worldview. Kita smacks the next person who brings it up and that ends the conversation.

[moonspirit]

Ok but can you imagine maybe theres a new secretary that helps around the office of the ambassadors with paper filings and what not so they can take care of the more important stuff.

It’s great help, however, she’s got the hots for Mr commander armin…. she goes around asking about him and is floored to hear that ambassador Leonhart and commandar Arlert are lovers!!!

Shes just like ??? Because she watches how coldly annie treats him in front of others, how she cuts him off when she thinks his ideas are absurd, and even brushes him off when she witnesses the slight romantic advances Arlert displays towards the icy woman.

No way! So maybe they got it wrong ! Arlert is in love with leonhart however, shes not sure she feels the same way. And this makes her bitter bc how could such a cold woman like leonhart have captivated such a kind man like Armin Arlert?

and she keeps this thought until one night she has to return to the office after everyone had gone home because she forgot something to hear strange noises coming from one of the offices….

low and behold, she finds armin and annie going at it like animals. Not only that but “pure hearted” arlert has leonhart bent over his lap as he fingers her until she whimpiring for him to “put it in already” and armin stopping and demanding she be “a good girl and ask properly”!!!!

shock of her life, maybe even scarred lmao. Cant look them in the eyes ever again !!

Aaahhhhh anon, T/////T Entertaining the idea of people having the hots for Ambassador Arlert is always soooo good because ... Jealous Annie xD

You're right tho, their outward behaviours are what gets them the most incredulous of stares tbh! Armin's pleasantness and very obvious happiness whenever Annie's nearby contrasting with her very cool face and cooler behaviour never... Seem to make sense to other people. This could lead many to think the Ambassador's interests are misplaced and wasted.

But then...

Those masks come crashing down when they're discovered!

The Ambassador, such a sweet, nice guy, who probably only makes gentle, snail-paced vanilla love... Is... FUCKING her? In his suit?? Talking DIRTY??? In that same smooth, sweet voice he uses for his peace speeches???

And Miss Ambassador... So cold and aloof... Uninterested in all things, big or small... Who can kill you with a glare... Whimpering? Begging? Pleading??? Actively LOVING the dominance?!

That secretary is looking like this, anon:

God the dualities are soooooo delicious in this ship I can never get enough T_____T

[bendarius]

I was just thinking, Do you think Ben gf is real? I personally believe it's some kinda of catfish...

Well, it's just that seeing him as straight is just UNIMAGINABLE to me. I know people are saying he can be bi/pan but Camp Cretaceous never gave us ANY possible hint of Ben liking girls... Also, I doubt they would officialize Ben as bi or pan someday. So, if he's not coded as bi/pan or officialized as it, we kind of just got queerbaited :( ?

It is not about he ending or not with someone, the thing is that the whole girlfriend reveal felt just like a way of trying to make the viewer stop doubting about Ben's queerness in general. I say that bc is kinda of obvious fans ALWAYS saw a lot of queerness in his character since the beginning of the first show, and is ingenuity to think they arent aware of the viewers' opinions about Ben...

Ps: I love ur blog so much🙌❤️

i think its clear what i think considering i wrote that fic....and no we didnt get queebaited. that would need the crew to promise that there would be more lgbt and we were never told that. its okay to read them as gay. to be fair staight is still the default but he also wasn't shown to like guys either (subtext isnt proof, didnt drop lines like "i mean i think hes cute") meanwhile darius w the beautiful boy line and how desperate he was to keep ben could be read as some kind of proof. i see him as gay no matter what because him liking girls is unfathomable to me....i seriously dont think he has a gf. if anything it wont last bc why are you long distance dating your first gf...scared of sharing irl moments w her?....

i want to work on the benrius subtext analysis. it makes me feel better that people on the crew actually see it too bc i feel less insane. but again crew art isnt official (thank god bc of that kenji darius yaoi satire) or reflective of the shows plot. itd be great if there was some benrius hint but im fine with just reading into their interactions. ben does feel gay to me in many ways with his identity and feeling comfortable in himself but with that theme its very easy to equate it. im just glad theres room for interpretation due to how he presented his gf. in the end its just abt perception, i think theres a reason who we dont rly learn a lot abt his gf. just cause he says he has one is like.....very much room to think otherwise

and thank you so much! i appreciate it, even though im not as active anymore benrius still has a huge place in my heart and i cant wait for their future interactions for real. ill always love them bc of how much chemistry they have. i like ships that have canon chemistry bc its so much easier to imagine a future w them.....hopefully benrius goes down as one of the most coded gay ships trust

[starryjkoo]

some random chronically online fandom and shipping thoughts #1

I just feel like ARMYs who are very obviously Y/N’s have NO reason to be judging shippers. I think it’s funny how some of them are so genuinely defensive and put off by shipping in a way I can tell is personal lol (it’s giving jealousy!). I totally understand people not liking shipping/shippers but I’ll never accept judgement from a Y/N, sorry! If you’re posting about only ONE member in a really thirsty manner after every AYS trailer and then turning around and saying “ugh, jkkrs are so annoying and delusional, jikook are brothers!” I know what you are! 🫵

slurping up all these AYS teasers like a starving animal but I’m starting to feel like they’re showing us too much now 😩 don’t spoil all the cute parts please BH!

only extremely sad and chronically online losers think that mass liking hate tweets actually means anything in the real world. a lot of these people need to get a life and go touch grass because the obsession with jm is truly weird and sad.

not everyone who wants th to appear in AYS is a tkkr, because it’s normal for ARMYs to want to see as many members as possible, but it’s kind of obvious with the ones who bring it up every chance they get lol, or the first thing they look for in a new AYS teaser, or just the specific way they talk about it. and my god are there a lot of tkkr ARMYs

I’m self aware that I’m pretty heavily biased, but there’s nothing worse than the ARMYs who hide under the OT7 visage but are CLEARLY heavily biased themselves. I simply do not like hypocrites, maybe some of them are in denial about it, idk. ofc there’s nothing worse than the ones who cosplay and try to create havoc in ARMY spaces, but that’s an entirely different thing. with that said, i’m convinced that at least 90% of active ARMYs are heavily biased at this point and we’d all be better off if they could simply just admit it.

perhaps this is my own bias so feel free to disagree, but imo ARMYs very clearly have a different sort of energy for jm antis and I think its partially because his hate has been so damn normalized in this fandom after years of tkkrs, but also because clearly a vast majority of the ARMY sh*oter accounts are diet solos and tkkrs and they always put an extra amount of scrutiny on things related to jm. they're also the first to bring shipper/solo drama into ARMY spaces (but only when it impacts their ship/bias) and they’re very clearly obviously lurking in solo/shipper territory to find it the way they do. the silence right now from certain accounts really does speak volumes.

sort of related, but the best way to gain a big following on ARMY twt is to get involved in whatever current drama is going on, for example MHJ drama, boycott drama, general fanwars. ARMYs will flock and mass follow these accounts, and a lot of them are diets who gain a platform and then spread their diet narratives later. one really good example is that elo person if anyone remembers all that, they literally were moots w/ tkk akgaes & calling them bestie but rebranded after they started gaining a mass following for “doxxing” and they started gaining attention because they were “debunking” the OG taennie icloud leaks (lol ofc they were a tkkr doing that). anyways they were awful and did a lot of harm, but they got that platform bc a lot of ARMYs flock to toxic accounts like that, especially when somethings going on, and then they’re impossible to cancel.

last shipping thought but we all know why tkkrs and y/n’s are jealous and weird towards jkk but sometimes its actually the same case for a lot of the other bts shippers, especially jk x hl shippers (like what's w/ all the j*nkookers lol) & yoonm*n. and there’s a lot of ARMYs who fall into this category actually. even if they don’t believe their ship is real, sometimes they still feel a bit passive aggressive/jealous bc they would prefer whatever content was with their bias/self-insert instead. theres so many jkk moments that have been really badly OT7’d, like I’ve never seen anything like the way almost the entire fandom rewrote history to make that jk binging jm content jk binging bts content (its legit wild to me).

and ill never forget during the disney docu when someone pointed out how jk likely knew jms apartment password and it got ratio’d at over 4k by someone saying “he probably knows all his hyungs passwords!” and it wasn’t even funny or clever lmao, it was very much giving

anyways, i believe this is one of the reasons sometimes ARMYs at large are weird towards jkk bc even outside of just tkkrs there are a LOT of HL shippers who take it pretty personally, especially if they’re the sort that projects onto one of the members in their ship. tbh, even if it’s not shipping, it’s a bias line thing where they want to fight over jm/jk being closer to their bias than they are to each other.

its whatever and just a petty complaint lol, i dont care who ppl ship/bias but i do find it annoying sometimes bc there are always ppl constantly downplaying jkks friendship and picking it apart and trying to OT7-ify it more than any other duo. its like ppl are really obsessed & its tiring. just give jkk their flowers sometimes and move on, you know? you definitely do not need to ship them or see them as romantic, but just respect their bond and the things about it that are unique to them, god

alright was just getting this out of my system because I was focused on positive vibes only for MUSE, will be going back to (mostly) positive vibes for AYS!

[red-hibiscus]

An imperfect, but still interesting ending to a rather good show

I don't consider the ending to be perfect by any means, but I think I'm far more ok with the ending than some people are. My mind is seeing this with the thought of it being some chaotic tragedy thriller.

I think it's primarily bc most (but not all!) of the things that people are frustrated with don't bother me as much. I'm ok with New and White dying. Am I upset? Oh yeah. Especially with White. That was hard to watch because I could see where it was going and I did not like it. He did not deserve to die.

At the same time, him surviving is the most obvious choice? It's satisfying. The good people live. That's how it should be. But you know who was good and died? Non. So in a way this just parallels the tragedy of Non dying. In a typical story White would live, but I guess they didn't want this to be a typical story and I respect that.

New dying and having Phee, Jin, and Tee "survive" means his revenge failed. Frustrating for the revenge enthusiasts. On that side I was never for or against it. I'm just here for the thrill of the ride, and a thrill it was. So him dying is kind of a "well that's an interesting choice" for me @ the writers. He did take people down with him in the process, so thats a positive. Tragic brothers I guess. Though New is far less innocent.

However, was it all really a failure? The ending directly states there's a strong possibility that they never actually survived for real. They don't remember escaping. So just like Non's script, nobody escapes. So at this point, it doesn't matter who "lives". They're all victims of the narrative here.

Also with the open ending.... Yeah I'm actually 100% fine with having an open ending. It's not the way I saw an open ending be portrayed (and honestly I got scared when I saw the time skip), but ok, I guess I can work with it. It leaves a lot of questions, which... isn't necessarily a bad thing, for me. Some may want closure, but I'm ok with not really knowing what happened to them.

Now for the people who survived... Tee I'm ironically the most ok with cause I predicted he'd live. For the sake of him being haunted by his regret. I originally thought it'd be more Non dying regret since all the emotions would resurface. But him stabbing his own bf to death... yeah that works ig. That's close. Probably still plagued with Non regret too, but I get White would be at the forefront of his mind.

Phee and Jin... So if this was a typical bl they'd be alive purely for shipping sake so they'd have an endgame ship. But DFF is not a typical bl, it's barely a true bl at all. They're questionably survivors. So is it about them being endgame??? I'm not sure. Is it about them bonding over realizing how they both hurt non and so they get to be aware of non haunting them. Maybe idk. Not sure what to think about them living honestly. I kinda put them as a 50/50 on surviving.

I get the frustration though. Half of me is sad my favs died. The other half is happy at seeing chaos. The two sides are fighting and I have decided to choose that enjoyed it more.

[logansargey]

https://www.tumblr.com/logansargey/756207872957874176/what-did-the-lstappies-say-i-must-be-blocked-by

It got even more unhinged (derogatory) after that. Massive tantrum. Still no explanation either. Her spin on it does show the PR training or background that she claims to have, though, so good for her, I guess? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think she just irrationally hates Daniel, because it’s blindingly obvious that Max likes Daniel more than he likes Charles, and that Max and Daniel are actually friends.

Hilariously enough, as we all know, Charles is also good friends with Daniel. It just suck to hate someone who is liked by the person you claim to be a fan of.

I think the only reason she hates Maxiel is because she hates Daniel. And I looked at her post and she never really explains why..? She just says she doesn't like him. Not shipping Maxiel is completely different than hating on it. And that's what she's doing. I try not to hate someone just because of their opinion on a driver, but only if they give reason on why they hate that driver. I don't hate a single driver and I'm also a multi shipper, so I have the best of both worlds. And Charles and Daniel are friends, they have been for a long time. Daniel was friends with Jules and kind of took Charles under his wing when he went into F1. On a real note, don't call yourself a fan of someone if you're going to hate on one of their friends.

I don't ship Lestappen but you don't see me making long posts on why I don't, unlike her. I think she's just reflecting her hate of Daniel onto Maxiel. And also I think she hates that Max and Daniel are friends and post each other constantly. Idk, not really my place to tell. But I don't stand for Daniel hate bc he's one of my comfort people and Maxiel is one of my comfort ships. The first thing I did after getting out of the mental hospital and when I got my phone back was read a Maxiel fanfic (I'm not even joking 😭) Also, I've realized that Max fans tend to lean more to Maxiel bc of their relationship and that Charles fans lean more to lestappen. Maybe it's bc it's a famous ship for Charles, but I see that Maxiel shippers ship it bc of their closeness and their cute friendship. This is just my take on her post. No hate to her though. I'd love to go in more detail on why Maxiel ppl choose Maxiel but I won't. I'll spare you the torture of me yapping.

[moon-language-0]

10 Questions for Writers

wasn't gonna do this bc i thought nobody probably really cares about this stuff but since i got double tagged by @meidui and @sunnysideprincess here goes nothing:

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

32 and climbing!

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

ugh i had to go into my stats to find this number (hate looking at stats) but to my surprise that number is a whopping 816,828! (if added to my ff.net word count that figure grows to 1,062,375 🤯)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

stony exclusively, though i opened up to the idea of writing for steve and/or tony paired with any mcu villain for marvel trumps hate, and now i'm writing a steve/loki (with steve/tony as endgame) fic that's more fun than i would've anticipated! (x) still wouldn't call myself a "multishipper," though -- more of a serial shipping monogamist ;)

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do! sometimes i'm a bit slow to respond for various reasons (e.g. when people angels comment on my WIPs i like to reply when/right before a new chapter drops), and on a few occasions i've belatedly encountered comments that i forgot to reply to (😱) that i'll immediately rectify, but i very much want to encourage people to keep leaving them. a single comment—even short/sweet ones!—can be like rocket fuel to my creative drive -- and as someone who finds myself running on empty and trying to get by solely on fumes from time to time, getting that boost in my inbox is truly priceless.

5. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not in whole but in part :(

6. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i don't even know how that would work!

7. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

currently steve/tony. once upon a time it was spock/kirk, and the flame burned so brightly that it troubles me to wonder how it ever managed to go out. i collected vintage zines. i made insanely thoughtful fanmixes (one of which i recorded onto cassette tapes one-at-a-time by hand through a painstaking process and distributed to a few like-minded folks, with hand-drawn cover art and liner notes!). i read AMAZING fic that changed my brain and yet i never wrote a single thing! i made a secret spacehusbands clubhouse underneath a pool table during one long and otherwise unhappy summer. i even made spirk-themed patches and pins that sold quite well on etsy, and turned one of my large back pieces into the central design of a fully decked-out jacket (which was made specifically to wear while loitering around disneyland while baked). here's some photographic evidence of all of the above:

8. what are your writing strengths?

smut-crafting is the obvious answer, but i flatter myself to think that i also manage to tap into a particular kind of haunted beauty that hovers about, casting its ethereal moon-shadow over all the most poignant relationships; something i've been obsessed with in life, that i'm compelled to pursue further in writing.

9. what are your writing weaknesses?

keeping it short. my punctuation can get pretty erratic sometimes. also, this might be a cop-out of an answer since it can be interpreted as a 'strength' but it really can throw me for a loop: i tend to let the characters tell the story 'they' want to tell rather than keeping a tight hold on the reins and sticking to my own agenda -- this can lead me off my intended course, for better or worse! as a storyteller i'm a bit of a pushover—always open to sudden inspiration wherever it might issue from—and steve and tony are such *strong* personalities that this openness can be a problem when i 'channel' them.

10. first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter. i was a bit of a snapewife for awhile there (don't judge). ff.net has been having some server issues so i recently logged back on to download my 245k unfinished epic from 2012, and found over a thousand people had left comments! some people were calling it a "masterpiece" and/or "the best fic [they] ever read [for that pairing]" which made me doubtful, so i skimmed over some of the story expecting it to be cringey but uhhh... it actually holds up? i mean, 2011/12 was quite a time for me: i was simultaneously finishing my thesis on "fandom, fanaticism, and religious fervor" and can recall having full-on religious experiences of my own while writing that [truly 'inspired'] fic, so i guess i was onto something after all!

some of these folks have already been tagged but i'm whispering a soft 'hello' into the ears of @carsonian, @soliloquent-stark, @pia-bartolini, @avengersnewb, @tinystark616 & all writers who aren't as averse to mirror-gazing as i can be

[chirpsythismorning]

Hi.what make you believe byler is endgame and how do you think The Duffer will make them endgame?

There's a lot of different factors for why I believe byler is endgame. If it was only one or two or three or a single digit amount of things, then I'd probably be more skeptical. Instead it's so many things that I don't think I can even quantify with any number?

Long post ahead so queue for later if you must!

I used to ship milkvan back in the day, and that's probably because I watched the show once and fell for the whole boy meets girl trope as peak romance, without even thinking about it? Like my first time rewatching the show pre-s3, I remember only focusing on their scenes and even going as far as to skip entire episodes in s2 without them in it, so it's really no wonder I missed details that might have helped me understand the full picture.

I also don't get queer-baited, like ever. I have watched shows like Teen Wolf where fans loved sterek, and even though that show had a gay show-runner, it was obvious to me they were never going that route, despite kind of feeding fans over the years with banter between them. The problem was the details weren't pointing to them being endgame, they were pointing to stydia. With stydia, they were using color coding in their costumes and had the fucking red string of fate in the frame with them multiple times and they were having entire plot lines built up around sort of their feelings for each other. Then there's all the other shows out there like Supernatural and Sherlock, and to me, it just felt like two guys that had chemistry that fans read as romantic and were having fun with it, only for the writers to try to profit off of that hope fans had, just sort of fucking with fans for years without really going for it literally in the text of the story.

And even if they did (albeit extremely subtly) that's when you would see shows tend to kill off the characters. Because after years of queer-baiting, the only solution is to kill at least one off, after tricking a sector of your audience for so long. Because unfortunately, no, they're not going to end up together, so we just have to get rid of one of them to make it clear that it won't happen.

While I don't vividly remember the moment I dropped Milkvan and picked up byler, I do remember watching s3 for the first time and feeling like something was off. And then to humor my confusion, I went online and came across an analysis for the end of s3. Even though it did really made me think like 'woah.. what was that?', in the moment, I was still in a position to not want to fall for it because of all the queer-baiting out there. I'd never fallen for it before and I wasn't going to start now basically.

And then I didn't read any more theories after that, I just basically jumped into rewatching the show for fun again, without really thinking about it even, and without skipping this time. And I vividly remember the shed scene definitely had some romantic undertones going on. When the camera was focused on Mike talking to Will, we didn't get any reaction shots in between of Joyce and Jonathan. Whereas when Joyce and Jonathan talked to Will, we got Mike's reaction and both Jonathan and Joyce's kind of reactions to each others speeches in that moment, which was to obviously convey the familial bond going on. And so in contrast, seeing Mike's monologue to Will be isolated, without any cuts to the others reactions during, with intense close-ups of Mike and Will, with Mike literally having one by one teardrops falling down his face and him repeating softly you said yes, you said yes... That... Like it made me really start to consider it in that moment, based on my new potential understanding of the end of s3 and based on what I had found upon rewatching that time.

Even still though, I didn't let myself believe it. And maybe in large part it was bc I did like the idea of byler I guess? And so that made me want to be more cautious? Other times when I came across fans shipping queer pairings that weren't canon, it felt like harmless shipping to me, where like I got the appeal, but didn't like feel genuine intentional slow-burn chemistry? It was always a thing that at most I liked merely as fanon. And so I guess I was trying to prepare myself for that inevitable disappointment that it wasn't going to go any further than what it had?

Maybe it was also because I was holding onto this idea of milkvan I had at the beginning? An idea that in large part contributed to my ability to get hooked with the show in the first place? Boy meets girl is like the most universal trope in our society and it was easy to just go along with it when everyone else was.

But more than anything I do think it was because I thought it just had to be queer-bait like it's always has been. At best I thought maybe it would continue very vaguely in the subtext in s4, with like 1 or two scenes at most hinting at attraction? But we all know that's not what happened..

S4 promo dropped, and I remember being like well here goes. It had been over a year, almost two since I'd been exposed to the possiblity of byler, though I was going into it prepared to see Mike and El being perfectly in love and that they were just going to act like nothing had ever happened between Mike and Will.

But then that Cali poster dropped. And that had me reeling. I remember sending a text to my sister like 'QUEER-BAIT?' and she was like yep queer-bait. But that's also because she's in the mindset of someone that hasn't seen anything outside of watching the show, and while half paying attention at that. This is the first piece of evidence she is being presented with and so of course she is viewing it from a don't hope or assume that could ever happen bc it never happens lens.

Even that I took as maybe a reality check, that this meant nothing, but also at the same time, this is the Duffer Brothers? They're smart? Why would they apply the if boy is pointing his feet at you he is in love with you rule via New Girl, with Mike and Will in the Cali poster, for shits and giggles? When the whole point in those posters is to hide foreshadowing?

Regardless of how much it genuinely shocked me they were appearing to really play with this concept of Mike having romantic feelings for Will, I still didn't fully let myself think about it too much...

And then as s4 got closer and more stuff dropped and there was like a lot of promo hinting Will having feelings for Mike, that's when it really kicked in for me. And that's when I went back and rewatched and holy shit it suddenly became clear as fucking day. My excitement for Vol. 1 was insurmountable because I was just about to have all of these recent built up theories confirmed or denied.

When Vol. 1 finally premiered and it turned out Mike couldn't say I love you to El? And Will very clearly had feelings for Mike, staring at him constantly when he wasn't looking and conveniently with Mike's POV missing by comparison? There was just too much at play that perfectly set-up byler.

Mike having a hard time telling El he loves her, while also having a best friend beside him who is in love with him, like, that's sort of what makes it clear that this is them trying to create a conflict that easily transitions into this revelation that the reason why Mike couldn't commit to El was because he was struggling over repressed feelings for his best friend.

And then that doesn't even include all the details along the way that support it. Like closet scenes for example weren't able to be harmless anymore post-s3, they just weren't. That scene at the end with El and Mike in Will's room established this idea that Mike is in the closet, and s4 did not let up on that idea whatsoever.

We were being bombarded with very basic film techniques that any filmmaker would be thinking about to establish the story and setting and create a feeling to convey a message through all of that.

They did not need to have Mike sitting in front of his closet at the very start of s4. They did not have to have a one way sign pointing to it. They did not have to have two dudes with muscles on his walls while most of the other guys either have stuff completely unrelated to the human form or bikini clad woman. They did not have to show Mike in focus more while staring at Eddie fondly as he talks about DnD and getting out of Hawkins. They did not have to have Mike go searching for DnD replacements in the wrestling room and the art room followed by saying, I hate high school.

The I hate high school line is viewed by most of us as a throw away comedic sort of line. But it really isn't. In fact it's arguably as deep as without heart we'd all fall apart, which is why they literally had that be Mike's quote alongside that one being Will's quote for the season.

Mind you, all of this shit in 4x01 is happening after Mike just episodes ago, in the previous season, sort of treated playing DnD like it was something kids did and told Will he felt this way, by essentially saying he assumed they'd be getting girlfriends and moving on from this idea that they can play games for the rest of their lives.

So Mike in s3 went from I want to grow up and have a girlfriend and stop playing dnd bc it is childish, to in s4 Do you want to play with me? I will literally settle for an absolute stranger rn, literally anyone? No? Uh. I hate high school aka I don't want to grow up. Now he thinks that he's the childish one when really, it doesn't have to be, if he just opened his mind to it.

Watching s3-4 back to back is actually so real bc it's showcasing Mike's complete shift, a shift that basically got flipped from s1-2 to s3 to s3 to s4, and it's directly related to his relationship with El and Will (along with his parents who all of s2 punished him by taking away his toys when he acted out bc of trauma/called his toys hunks of plastic and to essentially be used as collateral bc he's going to need to grow up eventually anyways). And we see how that is conveyed when he shows up to Cali unlike his true self, he just reverts right back to trying to be someone else like in s3. Only now he's trying to pull off a Cali look on-top of it, wearing sunglasses as he mumbles an incoherent sound, something like, 'eahauw' as he rushes up to kiss and hug El, putting the flowers between them so he had an excuse to separate sooner than later, followed actually voicing words to will, moving his duffel back out of the way to hug will properly, w/out sunglasses, visibly very happy to see Will, only to not even be able to hug him by cutting it short. AND for Argyle to confirm our suspicions by calling him a knock off?? NOW I'M REALIZING IT'S TOO MUCH YELLOW? Come on!?

That's another thing, the end of s3 hug between Will and Mike literally ends with Mike looking like he is in physical pain. Like dude looks like he was burned. He looks like a mixture of angry and heartbroken. And so having that, followed up with Mike barely even being able to properly hug Will properly 2 episodes later..? Gee I wonder why?

And then it just spirals from there.

The entire season Mike is by definition emotionally cheating on El, assuming that they are even technically still together atp. There's a reason they had her say From El, and it's so that there was this sense of maybe they were technically broken up now or even just on a break rn, since they wouldn't see each other for who knows how long? Maybe never again? And so that was a writing choice made in large part to allow all of these moments between Mike and Will throughout the season to feel romantic coded and for us to comfortably view them as such. Same with how they did that with Jonathan and Nancy in s2. They create conflict that is near breakup territory, without outright saying I want to break up, and then they throw them with their other love interest and create tension.

When it comes to like how I think s5 could go down with byler, I have a few different thoughts about how that would play out. Obviously I love byler but there's a lot of other stuff going on so this would just be one aspect of the greater overall story. But for the sake of this post I'm going to focus on Byler possibilities.

Them holding off until Vol. 2, literally 2 weeks exactly after the premiere, to have Noah officially release a statement saying We now know Will is 100% gay and in love with Mike, that is them clearly knowing the gravity of revealing stuff too soon to an audience that might not be ready for it. They saw the reaction to s4 and they waited and then they made that choice to discuss it the way they did. That was the point they decided they were willing to tell the truth of the situation, including Noah admitting for the first time, that they've been hinting at Will's feelings since s1, and so he had to always be vague about things to avoid spoiling the Duffers surprise. And while they're doing this, when they talk about Mike's feelings about the situation, it is always that he has absolutely no idea.

There would be no justifiable reason to hold off on admitting Will's feelings for Mike outside of canon, only to admit they've been hinting at it since s1, if there wasn't actually something yet to see be revealed, making this revelation so late in the game, justifiable.

The main thing that we get from Mike being oblivious of Will's feelings, is that if Mike doesn't know, then technically he hasn't rejected Will yet. Because how can he have rejected Will if he has no idea? Answer, he can't!

And so now there is one season left and they are choosing to hold off on Mike's knowledge about Will's feelings? After they just finally admitted after 4 seasons that they've been avoiding telling us about Will's feelings, despite hints from the beginning because they didn't want to ruin the surprise?

What surprise though bro? Slow-burn unrequited love??? There isn't any such thing. Because that wouldn't be satisfying!

It takes us right back to the line Will makes in s3 (mid-series) to Joyce about how he's never gonna fall in love. It's not that he doesn't want to or even hasn't yet at all, it's that he doesn't believe experiencing mutual love with the person he has feelings for is in the cards for him, bc odds are, that person is going to be straight.

But... How is it satisfying to hold off on even admitting Will's feelings for Mike until the second to last season, only to hold off on Mike's POV of the situation until the last season, just to say at the last minute, Well, Will, you were right!...? Like, no.

And so I genuinely think the same thing they did with Will is happening to Mike in a sense, in that by sort of dancing around the situation with answers that don't even allow you to answer the question, by saying Mike is clueless, they can avoid delving into what exactly Mike would think. They can just say Oh of course he will accept Will and leave it at that.

The thing is, if I'm supposed to be rooting for Mike and El, these choices that they've been making, to practically infect all of their scenes with Will in the frame looking like a kicked puppy, it's not giving endgame, it's giving I should be praying for this kid to get a happy ending who is fully convinced that he won't get it.

The main question I have, is are they going to hold off the slow-burn for as long as they can, or are they going to do something unprecedented and make it happen sooner than anyone expects?

I guess for now I think that it's the most likely they will hold off until 5x07 for like the big obvious endgame moment? Slow-burn tends to thrive in it's true form, aka slow-burn until the very end. So it would make sense to have these barriers in place that prevent Mike and Will from truly realizing they have mutual feelings or something of that nature, and then acting on it. That doesn't mean the audience wouldn't be clued in on those feelings earlier in the season, but I think them both accepting those feelings and coming together and choosing to be together is something that won't be like established fully until the end.

THOUGH I will say there is one scenario I could see them manage to have Mike and Will realize those feelings sooner than we think and it's because of the satanic allegations... If Will and Mike were to ever get caught in a precarious situation, by someone in the town already accusing these kids of being the cause, specifically Mike as a member of Hellfire and specifically Will as the kid who has been connected to all of this, it would be sort of visceral seeing how that could play out with them being viewed as like a symbolic indicator of the incoming apocalypse.

Though then again, they still might not get together until like episode 7, bc with the last couple episodes being like 2 hours long, it's possible the homophobic/satanic aspect of it could come into play around then. I think it would be really critical to see other peoples reactions in the story to them getting together, including their family and friends, but also potentially the community bc that would go full circle with what went down in s1 and how like the whole community had an opinion about Will's sexuality even as a kid.

Early s5 is a big indicator of how everything will go down though. I don't think that they'll get separated and be apart the whole season, bc they made a point to convey in s4 that they want to make sure to give the audience a lot of groundwork to root for them and so I think s5 has to be much of the same for it to end in a way that has most of the audience full-on rooting for them and just screaming at their screen for them to kiss already.

However, I do think it's possible we could see them get separated for like 1 episode, maybe 2 but probably not 2 full episodes, I think the reunion would happen sometime at the end of 1 or 2 episodes.

I think Will is likely going to be targeted by Vecna, arguably already was at the end of s4, and then there's birthdaygate to address. Maybe he gets forgotten by everyone as a result of the memory/time trickery that Vecna has going on. And so we could see that play a role in them being separate for a bit while that is resolved, which would likely be early s5, to sort of mirror early s1. But then I think they would reunite by like the 3rd episode and work together most of the season as a team. And we will probably be aware of Mike's feelings in these moments because we would've just presumably gotten a bunch of parallels to s1 and considering Mike and El are broken up, it's going to be difficult to see Mike be so up in arms about Will after all of that romantic subtext, only to be with him and be looking at him like he hung the stars and shit. Even if Will isn't doing the same bc he's like convinced himself at this point Mike doesn't like him back, that would just make it even more clear bc it would be them finally showing us Mike's POV, after hiding it so much in s3-4. It would also sort of wake up those fans who had insisted Mike couldn't feel the same bc there would be no reason to do all of that for nothing.

Another way I could see it going down is by Mike basically somehow making 'a deal with god' (Vecna) that takes him instead. Maybe it's about saving Will who is trying to sacrafice himself already. Or maybe it's a way to save Max and it's sort of a last minute thing that is intended to cause them a lot of grief. Bc we know Vecna loves fucking with them. This would fit into the whole without heart we'd all fall apart, and the whole how am I gonna survive a whole week w/out you guys and Mike getting out in the DND game at the start of s4, along with like the whole theory about how if a paladin breaks an oath they basically have to go on a mini self discovery journey and can essentially be reinstated and forgiven by a cleric (Will). That would fit very very well into the imagery we got of Mike sitting down on Jonthan's bed with the upside down tapestry behind him, followed by Will sitting down beside him + Mike sitting down on the upside down couch at the cabin, followed by Will sitting down beside him. Meaning basically Mike would end up in the upside down and Will would follow behind him.

And I think in that scenario we might be seeing some things from Mike's POV that we have overlooked before, or maybe even things they have deliberately kept from us for the sake of saving it for later. Maybe that unused footage of him crying biking home after they found Will's body, or maybe they re-contextualize the cliff scene in a way that sort of frames Mike as feeling like he deserved to die that day bc after everything that happened with El, maybe he doesn't feel like he deserved to be saved by her, like Vecna just overwhelms him with the guilt that's been piling up for years, which led him to that failed monologue.

Also I think there is a very specific reason they chose to not use the song Time After Time in Max's memory of the Snow Ball in s4, and that's because they're saving it for s5. Every Breath You Take was regarded by most the fandom as a Milkvan song, and if anything it fit with all of them dancing more than it did specifically with Max's memory from that day. So them bringing that back for s4 felt like a combination of the Vecna foreshadowing and also them refusing to use Time After Time quite yet... Time After Time started playing right when Lucas asked her to dance, they easily could have used that song instead and left Every Breath You Take for s5 for a milkvan montage, hell Time After Time even would have fit well with the whole clock theme going on in s4.

But, I genuinely think it's because they're holding off on fully, in canon, re-contextualizing our understanding of that Snow Ball scene when it comes to Mike and Will's perspective of it. And how that song would fit into that revelation is a little to perfect to pass up, again on a show that has made a big deal about clocks and also has connected Will/Mike to the clock in Starcourt with the Yellow and Blue hands ie you say go slow I fall behind-- the second hand unwinds is fucking clock coded bro???

They are 100% saving that clock ass song for the end and that just tells me byler has to be endgame bc that song literally ended right before El entered the gym, it has no association to them, only to either Lucas/Max, Dustin/Nancy, or Mike/Will. That's it.

And so arguably the build up of Mike and Will is the only way to satisfyingly bring that song back full circle.

I guess I'll keep it simple and say that I think one of them are going to go missing/dissapear/be taken (something along those lines) early s5, and the other is going to find them and they're going to be a team basically. I think there could be 1-2 episodes of them alone sort of in the pits of the UD (Hell vibes). Maybe there's an almost kiss in those moments, or maybe even an official one bc them being alone finally is what grants them the courage to do what they haven't been able to do in the real world without the fears of the real world stopping them?

Though I do think that they will reunite with the others after 1-2 episodes alone. And so most of the season will be them teamed up with the og party and also having interactions with other characters along the way as well.

I do think a Murray/Byler confrontation is inevitable. I do think a Will & Robin confrontation is inevitable. I do think it's possible Mike could be exposed to the idea of having a gf then a bf (and vs) by Vickie in the case that Mike finds out bisexuality is real and an option. Bc tbh it's still something people today don't know about. So I don't think Mike Wheeler in 1986 Hawkins, Indiana would, though again maybe an interaction with Vickie could change that. Either that or Robin, Vickie and Steve are going to see Mike call Fast Times overrated and they're all going to share a look and that's when we'll know...

I do think that Will is going to have a hard time believing Mike could feel the same, even when presented with evidence? Not only does he have his insecurities in the way, but he also views El as his sister now (hell she might even actually turn out to be his twin). Even though Mike is his best friend, he's going to want it to be crystal clear that El supports it before Mike ends up being in their family via them being partners at some point. That's just who Will is as a character. He's just going to assume he is wrong for wanting that considering everything that has led up to this point.

And i think El is the kind of character that, no, she wont be like ecstatic about how this all played out and how she didn't need to get her heartbroken, but I don't think that feeling will last forever. I think they might have a little sibling talk about lying, assuming she finds out about the painting and what he said to Mike about her commissioning it. That would be a good parallel to her and Will at Rink-O-Mania when he chastised her for lying to Mike? Essentially an Oh how the turntables moment? Even so, when it's all said and done, she's going to make it clear to Will that she supports him fully.

And I think the same applies to Mike who also is going to want closure that they are okay and still friends and love each other as friends/family.

I think how all of this plays out would be very intricate, yes, but largely keeping in mind that they want us to like this ending and not be bitter about it, and so they're going to have to convince us that we want to fully let go of Mike and El and to root for Mike and Will.

This so called love triangle doesn't have equal stakes to the stancy/jancy one because we're dealing with an audience that has been completely left in the dark, now being bombarded. They have to try really hard to convince the audience to be on board with this, and also avoid homophobia in the process. They're going to have to make it very, very clear there are no more romantic feelings for Mike and El happening. Especially since we're ending the show with them in a sibling dynamic because of their relationships with Will. It would be gross to have this level of well maybe one day he could change his mind I mean he did that once before. Nope. It would be okay to have that sort of left unanswered with the stancy/jancy parallels bc we're not dealing with people being related to each other and swapping back and forth. That's why it needs to be clear in their situation.

And I do think that's why they did the whole I love you 9 times with Mike's monologue. Because it can't go up from there, there is nothing left for them to do after going all out like that, only to reveal Mike meant it deep down platonically? I mean what could they possibly do to backtrack? Have him give her another love confession where he says it 20x and adds no but fr this time?? No. They had to go all out like that to give those viewers what they wanted, the most they could possibly get and then say, sorry it's not happening. It essentially made it impossible to hope for it bc there's nothing left to hope for.

When it comes to byler and like these major moments that are bound to occur between them, I am genuinely most looking forward to them hugging again for the first time since the end of s3. That to me is going to be even more exciting than a kiss honestly (not saying I don't want a kiss but you know what I mean). And it's bc from a hug alone, I think we'll be able to tell that what's going on between them isn't platonic and that will in turn add so many layers to past seasons. I think it's also likely we'll get an almost kiss or two before the inevitable, and that would then make the slow-burn stretching until the end worth it, to me at least? Because just throwing them together never works when the formula has always been to hold off.

And that's also why the show has to end now. We can't have 6,8, 10 seasons of slow-burn, it would be exhausting. 5 seasons is the perfect amount. And having all of that angst and tension and heartache lead to a happy ending is going to make all of those moments in between that fans fought over for being critical of, sort of just dwindle to epic angst that was necessary to appreciate the happy ending.

[p4nishers]

i don't know if you even posted about it but

which discworld books have you read already?? and maybe you have some favourites like I STRONGLY SUSPECT THAT IT'S NIGHT WATCH but what if im absolutely wrong..please share

anon i will lay my life down for you i've been waiting for this for so so long (literally since november. but whatever)

so. from the rincewind series i've only read the last continent and unseen academicals bc reasons. one of them being is that i am weirdly passionate about the ridcully/bursar ship only i care about and they're developed enough characters by those books for me to actually have something to ship. i can't think of other reasons but. they're there definitely i promise. oh yeah unseen academicals was by FAR my fav from the two but i found the ending a little eh so i dont consider that one a FAVORITE favorite. but its still insanely fucking good.

then i've read all of the witches novels except equal rites and that's only cause i was listening to the audiobook and then i forgot where i left off and i just didn't finish it. anyway the clear winner for me is and always will be carpe jugulum and it's DEFINITELY one of my top 3 discworld books. like i know you didn't ask for this to be a hundred pages long but fuck me that BOOK. i could write ESSAYS. also wyrd sisters is a fucking masterpiece and i wont hear a WORD against it. thank you.

all of the death books expect thief of time and i honestly i just dont want to end the series yet so i'm still putting it off. give me some time. favorites from that hmm well hogfather DUH but also reaper man. listen man it's about found family it's about bill door it's about death giving his TIME for a little girl it's about I NEVER WORE A CROWN YOU NEVER WANTED TO RULE it's THE FIRST FUCKING TIME WE MEET REG SHOE also the wizards are fucking GREAT in that one i just love it. not top 3 material but definitely a comfort read.

from the watch books i've read up to thud! which i'm still half way thru bc i'm not ready to move on from night watch like i had to listen to it on audiobook two days after i've first read it bc it just sucks you in man. does NOT let go. and yeah you're so so so right and true about night watch being one of my absolute favorites that book changed me as a person i'm still definitely not over it. like at all. also feet of clay and fifth elephant will always ALWAYS be my children and have my heart for obvious reasons (cheery. its cheery).

from the moist books i only have raising steam left and yes again im putting it off bc i dont wanna finish the series whatever dont look too deep into my issues

uh. shit this is so fucking long ok sorry. from tiffany novels i've read up to wintersmith and so far the wee free men is my absolute favorite i cried so much reading that book it's embarrassing.

small gods was my very first discworld novel and let me fucking tell you man absolutely HILARIOUS place to start when you dont know shit about the world building that's all im gonna say. also it's just so fucking good it's insane to me like yeah maybe it's not as funny as the others but the way terry wrote about faith and gods and devotion and the church and ugghh. (sidenote i read an brutha/om fic a few weeks ago that changed my fucking LIFE im being so so serious rn that was a masterpiece)

and i think the only one left is the truth which is in my opinion one of the best written discworld books from what i've read and definitely in my top 3. like otto chriek would be enough to convince me and THEN there's mr tulip's backstory and william confronting his dad (man that scene where william gives his father thousands of dollars to pay back for what he "cost" him over his life. anyone got reminded of that one ladybird scene? yeah.) and it's just like the best thing you've ever read.

im so sorry this got so long im insane i hope u got some kind of answer out of it

[convenientalias]

Please Watch Circle: Two Worlds Connected (Another Manifesto)

After convincing some ppl to watch White Christmas, I am filled with hubris and thus have returned to try to convince y'all to watch another kdrama thriller. This times it's Circle: Two Worlds Connected (2017). It's sci-fi, it's whumpy, it's got a dual timeline going on, and it's got a great cast. It's also one of the first kdramas I ever watched--I started it back in 2017, lost access to the site I was streaming it from, and 3 years later, when I became actually competent at finding kdramas, I remembered to go find it again! I've now watched it... four times? five times? anyway it's a good show so let's dive in.

The Premise

Every episode of Circle has two parts to it.

The first part: In 2017, a college student named Kim Woo-jin is having family problems. His paranoid twin brother is convinced aliens exist and are killing ppl. Woo-jin met an alien once when he was a kid, but he's been repressing this and ignoring the implications ever since bc of related trauma. Then Woo-jin's twin goes missing, and Woo-jin goes haywire trying to track him down.

The second part: In 2037, society has become a little dystopian, particularly in a closed-off island city called "Smart Earth". "Smart Earth" is supposed to be a place without crime, but when a murder takes place, Detective Kim Joon-hyuk, an outsider, worms his way in to investigate. Secretly he's more interested in investigating Smart Earth itself... and trying to find his long lost brother.

HM I WONDER IF THERE'S A REASON THESE CHARACTERS BOTH HAVE KIM AS A SURNAME. PROBABLY JUST A COINCIDENCE I WOULDNT KNOW. IM SURE THESE TWO MYSTERIES HAVE NO RELATION TO EACH OTHER AT ALL.

The Characters

Kim Woo-jin:

Yes that is Yeo Jin-goo (I feel like most of my followers have watched Beyond Evil, but if you haven't, maybe you know him from Hotel del Luna or The Crowned Clown, idk, he's great). And yes, he is incredibly stressed and will be for pretty much the entire show.

I feel like the main selling point of the first half of this show, apart from the mystery itself, really is just "do you want to see Yeo Jin-goo be so, so tired and act in progressively more insane and risky ways over the course of twelve episodes".

He is a very good brother. He also is in a dynamic duo with a girl who may or may not be an alien. More on that below.

Kim Bum-gyun

He's paranoid and he's not always the best brother. But he's trying to be better and also. He may be (at least partly) right.

Han Jung-yeon

"Hey look at me I'm a normal college student and definitely not an alien. Despite the fact that I do kind of look identical to that alien you met like fifteen years ago."

"Regardless that was not me bc I am normal. Let's become a detective duo!"

Kim Joon-hyuk

Played by Kim Kang-woo! I feel like he's a bit less known than Yeo Jin-goo but I still love him. Very versatile actor. In this he's being your typical unruly cop but with Many Secrets. Going into much more detail than that would unfortunately give spoilers but I like seeing him piss Lee Ho-soo off.

Lee Ho-soo

Nicknamed "Pierrot" by Kim Joon-hyuk for the way he's ~always smiling~, Lee Ho-soo is Smart Earth's ideal peacekeeping employee. He thoroughly believes in their dystopian mood regulating technology and closed off society and no, he does not want to learn any deep dark secrets, thank you very much!!! Leave him alone!!!! (Yeah, he's going to go through all kinds of emotional breakdowns lols.) My favorite character on my first watch-through; later I began to stan Woo-jin more but it's a close thing.

So, so, so...

Is It Shippy?

Honestly, kind of depends on what you're looking for. The most obvious ships would be Kim Woo-jin/Han Jung-yeon, a ship that is very teased but never becomes canon, and Lee Ho-soo/Kim Joon-hyuk, a classic bickering-but-gradually-coming-to-understand-each-other type of duo. There are other shippy routes you could take... my friend for example ships two of Woo-jin's professors. I personally think certain reveals could lend themself to a [REDACTED] [REDACTED] shipping dynamic, which is all too rare, but since I redacted that part you will never know what I mean by that.

Is there shippy fanfic out there? NO BECAUSE THERE ARE A TOTAL OF FOUR FANFICS FOR THIS SHOW ON AO3 AND I CANT FIND ANY ELSEWHERE EITHER. yes three of those are shippy. YES I WANT MORE PLEASE.

More General Thoughts

Circle is a little melodramatic and messy, but it is also very clever. Even after the basic worldbuilding becomes clear, you probably won't be able to guess all the answers to the mysteries until mm. Episode eleven of twelve? I mean I'm sure there are people out there much better at guessing than me but. I didn't.

I also think it's more fun to watch this show (at least the first time) with a bunch of different theories in your mind as to what happened during the time skip. I had at least three running concurrently. No, none of them were correct. I never said I was good at guessing I only said I had fun.

Not EVERY loose thread gets tied up by the end. But things do get mostly resolved. And there's a lot of angst and suspense along the way!

Here are a few more pictures to convey the vibe:

I can also offer you a minimal number (two) of goofy gifsets.

Closing thoughts:

If you've watched Circle, pls come talk to me sometime. If you haven't watched Circle, I recommend giving it a try! I can tell you that anecdotally ppl who I've forced to watch White Christmas and Circle both like Circle better (except me, I like White Christmas better but also I am to be fair obsessed with both).

And for now, I have successfully exorcised my Circle feels for the day. Probably. I hope. (I may be back.)

[crispys-records]

he knows what will happen

Notes: i'm just spitballing here, but i want juno to sort of have some kind of unrequited love towards laurence. this doesn't mean juno will end up with laurence (on the contrary, i actually dont want juno to be shipped with laurence), but just the idea of juno having some kind of unrequited love is something i like. also this is like a fanfiction but also not at all. usually i dont write my fanfics in all lowercase.

TW: unrequited love that will NOT bear fruit. this is basically juno suffering on his own until he falls out of love or confesses (which wouldnt really help his feelings, lets be real) also like minor garrence headcanons bc i love gay ppl

Pairing: garrence, and also like one sided juno/laurence

Synopsis: an overview of juno's unrequited love towards laurence.

Juno meets Laurence in sophomore year, after Laurence left the Shadow Knights. They're deskmates, later project partners, and Laurence, willing and ready to make a fresh start after leaving the shadow knights, decides to start by making friends with the person sitting next to him. Juno is quiet, not really keen on making friends (not after a freshman year of all-nighters and skipped classes, only to be forced to take class more seriously by his aunt, whom he lived with at the time), and overall unfriendly, but is endeared by Laurence's charm and friendliness. They end up good acquaintances, the kind of person you'd say hi to when you passed them in the hall.

Juno usually sits alone at lunch, hiding away in some part of the school with a vending machine lunch or some other snack. But Laurence, being ever so generous, invites him to eat with his friends. That's how Juno meets the others. Still, Laurence seems to stand out amongst them, and they build a rapport from their similar attitudes.

Juno starts to grow interested in Laurence, and suddenly he's seeing him in the halls everywhere. When he walks to chemistry, he gets a bounce in his step, as if hes excited to see Laurence waiting at the desk. When he hears someone call out to him by the lockers, he perks up, knowing it's probably Laurence, or at least someone calling out to him with Laurence in tow. He finds himself staring at Laurence during lunch when he talks, only to frantically look away when he makes eye contact with Garroth, who is doing the exact same thing.

Laurence starts to talk to Juno about things that he, according to Laurence, can't talk about with Garroth. about his crush on Aphmau and his regret over hiding it from Garroth. About his obvious feelings for Garroth that Laurence brushes off as friendship. About his discomfort with his fanclub. About his girlfriend, whom he got only to ward off the fanclub. Juno's trying to be a good friend, even though there's an undescribable pain in his chest and a sink in his gut when Laurence speaks. He's glad Laurence trusts him enough to tell him about these things, even if it hurts. He gives advice. Garroth probably already knows. Garroth's friendship is important to him and should take priority. If he doesn't like his fan club, scare it off.

"I'm glad you and your girlfriend are doing so well."

That line hurts especially. Still, Juno pushes on. Laurence goes to June for advice. Juno hangs out with Laurence and his friends, securing trustful relationships with the likes of Nana, Aphmau, and Garroth. Katelyn still seems skeptical, but that may be because Juno's not the only meifwa to get close to Aphmau. (He's seen Kai's interactions with her.) Juno starts to hang out with Laurence one on one, showing him his pictures or letting him sit in on practice with the band. It's never excessive, because Laurence will always choose hanging out with Garroth and Aphmau over him. But Juno still asks, just in case.

Juno has it figured out by now that he might have feelings for Laurence, but thats the least of his worries. It's his freshman year, and after 2 years of wordlessly procrastinating on his feelings, Laurence asks him what he's thinking of doing for college.

He says he doesn't know, and Laurence seems relieved, before he starts talking about his plans and how hes torn between following Garroth or going to a different school and starting fresh again. and Juno is shocked. Laurence, for once, is considering not going to be alongside Garroth? Where else would he go? Did he have a scholarship? Juno stares blankly at Laurence as he airs out his worries, and when he passes the mic to Juno, Juno weakly asks where else he would go. And Laurence tells him that he got offered a scholarship at the same school Juno was going to attend.

Juno had planned to run away from Laurence after high school. To put some distance between him and his feelings, in hopes that it would somehow dissipate. But Laurence hits him with the choice that he could tell Laurence to go to that same school as him, giving him the chance to confront his feelings, or he could let Laurence be happier with the friends he's known longer at a college he'd be happier at. He tells Laurence he doesn't know, but that he should follow his intuition.

Unbeknownst to them, Garroth was listening in and finds out that Laurence has been going to Juno for advice, and he's hurt. They're best friends! How come Laurence is more comfortable asking a guy he's not as close with about college decisions? Not to mention, from what he heard, Laurence is thinking of applying to another school? Garroth confronts Laurence, who assures him that he wasn't going to go to another college. Juno was right; he should follow his intuition, and his intuition told him that he should stick with his best friend. Garroth asks him why he went to Juno for advice, and Laurence said he was nervous about bringing up his worries about going to a different college, knowing that Garroth would just try to convince him to go to Falcon Claw with him, and he just wasn't sure if Garroth's decision about that would sway him enough. But Juno telling him to basically make his own decision had. That assuages Garroths worries.

Juno is sitting outside the high school, taking aimless pictures of the road with his flimsy smartphone camera. Its not his go-to camera. Garroth appears, no Laurence in tow, and asks Juno a question. Did he know Laurence was going to choose Falcon Claw? Juno looks down at his feet and tells him he knew, because there's no downside to attending Falcon Claw. There wasn't anything holding him back except his own worries. Garroth, pleased with that answer, tells Juno he'll see him at university, and Juno makes eye contact with Garroth for the first time that day.

"No. I won't be going to Falcon Claw University."

That startles Garroth, who asks him where he will be going. When Juno answers, Garroth's face seems to morph into an undescribable expression of pity and shame. Garroth isn't going to ask why, and he isn't going to tell Juno to make Laurence change his mind. They part ways without saying goodbye, and they never see each other again.

At least, not until after college.

Juno moves out of his aunt's house because he feels bad. He wants to take care of himself so she can take care of herself. And when he moves, he sees a familiar face... and avoids him.

Laurence is shocked, almost hurt that Juno would pretend like he doesn't know him after all they've been through in high school. Perhaps he was too much? No, the ever so blunt Juno would have said something.

It's just laurence too. Laurence will see Nana or Katelyn talk to him casually, but Laurence has to learn from other people that he's still into photography and that he studied journalism. Juno will be invited to parties and get-togethers and blatantly ignore Laurence. It's rude, and now it really hurts. So now Laurence and Garroth, who find Juno's behavior to be just as much of an outrage as Laurence does, will deliberately try to run into him on the street or talk to him at a party in hopes of getting something out of him.

Eventually, Laurence gets drunk at Aphmaus one night and can't sober up fast enough to safely walk himself back home. But then he wakes up at 8 am in bed, and Garroth, who went home much later, tells Laurence that Juno had borrowed their house key and brought Laurence home himself. Garroth tells Laurence that Juno clearly still cares; he just won't talk to Laurence for one reason or another. And Laurence starts to piece together times that this has happened before, where Juno drops medicinal remedies at their doorstep when Laurence is sick, when he never fails to leave a present for Laurence during Christmas even if the gift exchange dictates he wasn't supposed to be gifting Laurence. Laurence decides he really needs to talk to Juno, once and for all.

He finally catches him outside of the grocery store, and Juno can't run for fear of making a scene. All a part of Laurence's plan. He asks Juno why he's being avoided, to which Juno dodges the question. Laurence prys, and Juno finally tells him that he didn't expect to see Laurence again, and it's been so long that both people are different now. Juno didn't know how to approach him any more. Not mentioning any lingering feelings, because Irene knows Juno has plenty to spare. Laurence tells him it's okay that they should just talk and understand each other.

And Juno cant. He knows it's not okay. Because he knows Laurence is in love with Garroth. He knows he'll just be stuck in a cycle of hurt when he sees Laurence stare at Garroth like how he used to stare at Aphmau, knowing that Juno is staring at Laurence the same way. He just can't be friends with someone like that. But he desperately craves the connection to Laurence again. The need to be close to him, to be a confidant and a friend.

And Juno doesn't know how to respond.

[kiisaes]

Hey, i’d like to hear some of your bakudeku/katsudeku headcannons since i saw some and they’re so cute😭💞i love your art so much, it’s amazingg keep it up!!

ty !!! 🙏

I'll be honest I don't really have any headcanons off the top of my head. I have to think really hard about those I like but usually I can point at a preexisting one and go "haha yes I like this one" without thinking of it myself =v=

I think my biggest hc rn - and it's kind of controversial bc ik ppl have different opinions on it - is that deku is just flat out gay. like that's his sexuality, he only likes men. I used to hc him as bi and I campaigned pretty hard for it, and regarding fandom ships I still don't mind shipping him with girls. (tbh with fandom ships, I kind of just disregard a character's sexuality hc entirely bc I'm a multishipper who thinks crack ships are fucking great.)

but vibe wise, as well as putting canon into perspective, he just feels so gay to me. he screams comphet. he's got some vague internalized homophobia where he's totally supportive if u're gay, but HE'S not gay. and there's no way he can be even though he very well could be. like just think about it. he was really only so shy and nervous around girls bc he's literally never interacted with one casually before high school. and after he got close to 1A and could, you know, talk to women, he lost any deeper attraction in them. literally what happened with him and ochako. that's just how I feel anyway, but he won't admit his natural drift towards men (bkg) and his emotional hangups on men (bkg). he hangs out with men (bkg) way too much for him to have any serious interest in women imo

anyway this is just my take, you can hc deku as whatever sexuality you want!!! I still think bi deku has so much flavor like yass be the disaster bi u were meant to be!!! but gay deku just speaks more to me nowadays, I guess

ok upon thinking long and hard, I have come up with these silly hcs as well:

they are both bad at verbalizing their feelings. dk is overall horrible with emotions that pertain to himself so he just doesn't dwell on his very obvious crush on bkg. he just thinks that it's normal to be obsessed with another man. like lol hes been doing it since he was a baby. it's not anything more. he is NOT gay. straight men can appreciate everything about another man and more! just bestie things! and bkg has accepted in his heart that he is gay for dk but u are NOT going to hear him say it. sorry but that man does not know how to even start a convo about this. he'd probably want to, but knows he'd fuck it up and dk would miss the point. he'd probably just tell dk to fight him and then make out somewhere down the line bc it's easier and less embarrassing to him. little does he know, HE'S embarrassing and I hate him.

so u know the whole "bkg is an early bird and dk is a night owl" hc? and how it's technically canonically wrong? yeah. I'm obsessed with how wrong it is. bkg going to bed early and waking up late is so real of him. he just really fucking loves to sleep, and dk is the exact opposite. man goes to bed late and wakes up at 5 in the morning. he gets like 3 hours of sleep maximum and he's functioning perfectly. god I wish I were him

that one adhd vs autism meme but it's bkdk. u get to choose which ones which. maybe they're both

dk has dimples, one on each cheek! maybe bkg has one too. who knows

this is one I just thought of right now but it's like. part of the fandom bible that bkg can cook and dk cannot. however. I think dk can cook ok - fine enough to sustain himself - but bake REALLY WELL. bkg can cook bc he's "a natural" who can easily figure out exactly how to cook and spice foods. he doesnt need to follow a recipe to a T, he can just figure it out himself. dk can bake bc I'd imagine baking, with their meticulous recipe requirements, are easier to comprehend for him. he takes a shitton of notes on the daily, u can't tell me he'll eagerly read and jot down shit so his pastries turn out well. he'd prefer following step by step than winging it. does this make sense. words are hard

I always like drawing bkdk pretty close in height. ik lots of bkdks like a height difference but I prefer when rivals are pretty equal, and that includes how tall they are

dk's hands are coarser than bkg's, except around the palms, where bkg canonically has thick skin (so I'd assume there's some callouses there)

I like to think that bkg is good at basically anything, considering how he's a perfectionist. give him something to do and one week to do it, and he'll have a new skill under his belt. but there's a few things he can't do that trip him up so bad and make him so angry. like to me he definitely doesn't know how to whistle or roll his Rs. he just physically cannot. they're such pointless abilities but he hates how he can't do them. especially bc dk can definitely do both

dk keeps calling bkg "kacchan" bc it reminds him of a simpler time :') it makes him feel more connected to bkg than he initially is, and tacitly tells the class that he knows bkg best. also bc bkg never told him to stop so like ... why should he stop now. lol. and ALSO bc he's waiting to see how far he can go before bkg snaps. little does he know, bkg never snaps about "kacchan" bc that's dk's name for him. it reminds him that dk is always there, always calling out for him. and recently, it's a reassurance that he's still here, against all odds

ending this list with a classic but dk's favorite food is katsudon bc it reminds him of kacchan's name (KATSUdon vs KATSUki)

hope this is a good enough hc list anon!

[marinsawakening]

I saw a post that reminded me of this which is why I'm talking about this out of the blue but whenever I see the 'do canonically male characters you headcanon as trans girls count as female characters' debate pops up I remember this one event from the Voltron fandom where an f/f ship week banned genderbending and people lost their SHIT about it, SPECIFICALLY because the mods were like 'we want people to actually focus on the female characters and not submit already popular m/m ships but genderbent'.

This was years ago obviously so standard 'my memory may be fuzzy' disclaimer, but while I believe part of the reasons the mods banned genderbending was bc they believed it to be transphobic (which you could actually argue against and is a stance I don't agree with), and ppl were using that as leverage to argue, but that's not what ppl were actually angry about. Also, I believe the event was run by antis, who had a 'no age gap ships' rule in place, and people were mad about that, but like. The only f/f ships at the time with even kind of an age gap were ones involving Pidge, (which, again, for the record, I never personally gave much of a shit about), and yeah I do believe those were banned and ppl were pissy about that, but most of the ppl arguing with the ship restrictions were doing so in combination with the genderbending restriction, bc what they were mad about wasn't actually about a major female character being banned from the f/f ship week for Ship Discourse Reasons.

What they were angry about was specifically being told their genderbent m/m ships didn't count because they did not, in fact, contain female characters. Arguments were made that, because it was genderbent, it was now f/f and should be allowed in the f/f ship week. The mods went no, those are still canon male characters and popular m/m ships, and we're trying to run a week about the female characters and f/f ships because they don't get enough attention. The mods were fending accusatory and argumentative asks for ages and told people to create their own f/f ship week if they didn't like how theirs was run, which. People did.

A counter f/f ship week was organized but with less restrictions, specifically the restriction on genderbending was lifted. Now, I never followed Ship Week B, because I don't care about shipping and I was there to see more attention given to the female characters, which allowing genderbent m/m content seemed pretty anathema to. But I did check in on it out of curiosity, and to no-one's surprise, Ship Week B contained very large amounts of mostly genderbent sheith, with some shiro/lance and lance/keith thrown in. Like, I'm sure there was also actual f/f content (I remember there being some Pidge/Allura specifically), but I remember very little of it.

And as I alluded to in the large Nuance Disclaimer paragraph: yes this was the Voltron fandom, yes the Disk Horse was involved and made everything far more explosive than it probably would've been otherwise, and also, if the mods hadn't explicitly put the genderbending restriction in the rules list they probably would've gotten maybe a few genderbent m/m submissions tops. It's pretty obvious that a large motivation for Ship Week B was spite, and as someone whose username is literally spitecentral on AO3, I can confirm there is no stronger motivation for fan content than spite. I don't actually think that genderbent m/m is such a major problem in f/f spaces that it needs to be explicitly banned to avoid having it overrun ship weeks.

But even taking all that into account, this whole thing was completely fucking bonkers. Regardless of your opinions on the mods' opinions on genderbending and the Disk Horse, asking ppl not to submit genderbent m/m content on account of it not containing canon female characters is completely reasonable, and the fact that people got mad enough about it to create a whole seperate f/f ship week SPECIFICALLY to allow genderbent m/m content is insane. All the f/f ship week asked was for people to pay attention to female characters for once, and people threw a fucking tantrum about it and not only point-blank refused, but created more content for the male characters out of spite.

So yeah that was kind of a formative fandom experience to me that taught me:

People will take any excuse possible to avoid paying attention to female characters.

People will make literally anything, up to and including female character-centric fandom events, about men.

And that's what I think about any time I see people get offended when others point out that headcanoning a canon male character as a trans girl isn't the same as engaging with female characters.

[andro-dino]

sooo, Chao Xin and Axel, huh? How did that happen? How did the mountain grub rizz the urban Casanova? (or the other way around, lmao)

FLEETINGSPIRIT MY LOVES FOREVER. god I love them so much. They r like a super self indulgent idea I had out of nowhere so I never really thought of how they actually got together outside of a couple sparse ideas. The main thing with them though was always the idea that they met when gingka was visiting whz and brought essi and Axyl along with him. Axyl as a whole and as usual was very anxious and reserved during the visit and this was most certainly picked up on. I think it would be in character for daxiang and mei mei to try to get him to feel a little more comfortable but zhouxing is also proficient in this endeavor, though with what little Axyl knows about him, they figure it’s a very surface level kind of thing. That of course doesn’t stop him from falling for zhouxing hard and fast, but despite their initial perception, the crushing is more mutual than they’d think. Its most certainly a “one fell first, one fell harder” kind of thing bc Axyl gets crushes very easily while zhouxing is much more used to very causal dating and being in and out of relationships relatively quickly, but his feelings for Axyl hit him like a freight train. This is my self insert comfort ship and I can do what I want with it, so his interest is basically sparked from essentially just being like “his autistic eyes personality and transgender looks have captivated me” /ref and he becomes such a mess over it. Axyl doesn’t really notice it, but to anyone else who knows zhouxing more closely, it becomes VERY obvious how bad he has it for them and how hard he’s trying to impress him. I also like to think mei mei wingmans for both of them, knowing both sides of it and occasionally clawing at the walls with how long it is taking for them to realize how they feel about each other. Zhouxing is trying to play it cool and not make it obvious, not realizing how obviously Axyl is already into him, and bc of that (and also the fact that ae’s an insecure autistic loser who doesn’t have people skills), Axyl thinks he totally has no chance with him. I have a comic that I’ve been meaning to draw about when they actually get together so I won’t spoil the details of that yet, but it is mutually very clumsy and awkward but both of them are so incredibly relieved and happy to know that the feeling is mutual and they basically become just such a sweet and cheesy couple for the entire time afterwards and it is very important to me 🫶