#i never leave a bookstore without spending $100

[tofuingho]

There are 3 places I can't be trusted to control myself.

Bookstores

Craft stores

Bakeries

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - n i n e t e e n pt.1

Warnings : none

that kind of girl

The rest of the morning was spent eating pancakes at the little breakfast nook just off to the side of the kitchen, the two of them sitting next to eachother with Tallulahs right leg propped over Pauls left knee, his warm hand resting on her bare thigh comfortably.

“What about teaching?” she asked the hundredth question that had popped into her mind within the last hour. Their conversation had veered from topic to topic before landing on Pauls career, or lack thereof. He had explained to her that because the fact that he was bound to the pack, college wasn’t exactly in the cards. He didn’t have to say he couldn’t move off the reserve either for Tallulah to assume that wasn’t a possibility either.

She was bothered that because of his ancestry he had to give up any sort of future plan for himself, and felt guilty that she was relieved she would never have to do the same.

“Me? Teach?” Paul asked, before being overcome with a fit of laughter causing Tallulahs smile to grow.

“Not like math or science.” she said with the shake of her head, “Like wood shop or I don’t know, a wilderness class. I think you’d be good at it, I mean, you taught me how to build a bookcase, you could teach anyone.” she teased.

“Thats because I actually like you, and if I could teach you everything that I know, I would just to spend more time with you.”

Tallulah blushed at his response, something that only he could cause her to do.

She unhooked her leg from his, grabbing his plate and putting it on top of hers, “You’re the one that told me you didn’t want to work for Sam forever, settling down means finding more than just an odd job here and there. The bookstores almost done so I’m just trying to give you suggestions that you can do on rez for the time being.” she explains before standing and bringing their dishes over to the sink.

Paul follows her lead and before she can start soaping up the dishes, he turns her to face him. His hands placed firmly on her hips as he pulls her as close as physically possible, causing her to look up at his amused expression.

“I appreciate the thought, Lu, but its not that simple. Not working for Sam, means not being in the pack, and I can’t do that. I can’t just leave.” he explains.

“Thats not fair. It’s not like you signed up to be stuck here forever.”

“Its not forever,” he sighs, “How bout this, I find a side project to do in between pack priorities and you, you finish your portfolio for college applications.”

“No,” tallulah said shaking her head, “I don’t even know if I want to go to college, I told you that already.”

Which was true, why would she waste her time on something that might not even want to end up doing.

“But you might.”

“And I might want to kiss you, but I’m not 100% set on doing so, so I’m not going to,” tallulah spoke sarcastically.

“I guess I’ll just have to go without then,” he said letting go over her hips and raising his hands in surrender causing Tallulah to frown.

She went to speak, to call him a hypocrite for wanting her to finish her college applications yet he didn’t want to take a chance on something he wanted for himself. Like having a life outside of the pack was impossible for him to do when he hasn’t even tried.

But before she could, his brows furrowed as if he was listening to something before looking over her head to the window by the breakfast nook and then back down at her, his entire face switching from concern to nothing as soon as his eyes connected with hers.

Paul placed his hands back on her hips, toying with the oversized tshirt.

“What is it?” she asked

“If I asked you to stay inside, would you?” he asked, his hands bunched up the oversized shirt she was wearing to slide his palms over her hips, his fingers toying with the top of her panties almost nervously.

Tallulah looked up at him in confusion and before she could ask ‘why’, he removed his hands from her skin, the hem of his shirt following back down to her thighs as he backed away from her, “Please, Lu.”

She watched as he made his way from the kitchen to the hallway that led to the front door.

Tallulah walked to the window that looked out into the front yard in the kitchen, carefully peeking out to see her fathers car parked next to Pauls.

With the sound of the car door slamming shut, she moved away from the window before he could see her.

I’m in so much trouble, she thought.

Discarding everything that they had been doing in the kitchen, she quickly, yet quietly, walked out of the kitchen into the hallway, shuffling towards the front door, out of sight from the plain view her dad could see through the storm door, more so what he could see past Pauls large frame. His back was towards her as she snuck into the main entryway, and sat on a small, wooden bench, far enough away from the door that she wouldn’t be seen, but close enough that she could hear Paul lie to her dad, “She’s not here.”

She could just make out her dad's rough voice, “Do you know where she is?”

“No, I don’t. I assumed she was at home.” Paul lied with ease.

“Well, she’s not and you’re my best bet on finding out where she is. So?” Joseph pried.

“I was actually just about to head out, I’ll let you know if I hear anything.” Paul lied again, she wondered why. Why was he protecting her from her father? They both knew she would get in trouble for sneaking out.

“You know, I was wondering, how’s Rachel, Paul?” she heard her father ask in that same condescending tone that was often directed towards herself.

Pauls response was quick and heated, sharply saying, “Fuck You.” Causing Tallulah to bring her hand to her mouth in shock, but also in awe. Her father was toeing a fine line and Paul wasn’t having any of it.

“I see you’ve somewhat gotten your anger under control.” Joseph snidely commented, Tallulah could hear heavy footsteps closing in towards the door and she sucked in her breath, not moving a muscle, afraid her dad would walk in and see her sitting there in Paul's t-shirt, with no pants on. What a sight that would be, she thought.

“I’m going to tell her, she deserves to know the truth.” she heard Paul say.

What truth?

“Deserves to know what? That the only reason you bat an eye at her is because some inner wolf tells you she belongs to you.?” Tallulah frowned at her fathers words, not sure if she wanted to continue listening to this conversation.

“That's funny coming from you. I’m not the one who abandoned my family for my imprint.” Paul said haughtily.

Imprint?

Like a baby duck?

“Look, kid, you’re stuck here. If you think for one second that she will choose you over the ability to go back to Seattle and continue her life the way it was before she locked eyes with you, you are lying to yourself.”

Paul's silence gave Joseph an invitation to continue his arrogant tirad, “She is just like her mother, you know. Winona was never happy here, always talking about seeing the world. Wanting more for Tallulah. She won’t be happy when she finds out about you, Paul.” Joseph paused, “And you, you won’t be enough to keep Tallulah entertained for long. It's just the type of girl she is.”

Tallulah couldn’t stop the hot, angry tears falling from her eyes. She couldn’t think straight and all she could feel was hurt. Pushing herself up off the bench, and into the view of the door. Looking from Paul to her father, and then back to Paul. The pained expression on his face mirroring her own feelings. Tallulah pushed the storm door open, looking back towards Joseph, “and what kind of girl is that?”

“Tallulah..” her father hesitated, before looking at Paul, “How long has she been listening?”

“Answer me!” she cried, her chest constricting from holding back her sobs.

“Tallulah, I didn’t mean it like that,” her father back peddled,

“No?” she asked, roughly wiping the tears from her cheeks, “You didn’t mean it like I’m some slut, who jumps from guy to guy, to get the attention she never got from her father because he was too busy raising a family that didn’t include her?”

Tallulah didn’t look over at Paul to gauge his reaction to her words. She was too focused on the guilt ridden expression on her fathers face.

“I think you should go..” she mumbled quietly.

Joseph rose from his position against the porch railing to object to his daughter's statement, but was quickly stopped by Paul stepping in front of Tallulah, shielding her, growling out, “Go.”

His body was trembling, she didn’t need to see his face to know he was angry. She busied herself by running her pointer finger along the crevice of his spine soothingly, focusing her own breathing in line with the movement of her hand.

Paul turned and wrapped his strong arms around the small girl once the sound of the car engine signalled her father had left, and she let him.

Seeking protection from her fathers words and her own internal turmoil. He was warm and safe, Tallulah wanted nothing more to just surrender to him and stay in his arms forever. She wrapped her arms around his middle, her hot tears dampening his bare skin as she tried to hold herself together, but failing as the first sob wracked her body,

“I want my mom.”

Taglist: @cperry0516 , @bhasbhabiessss, @fuzzyfingersandcavier @haventdecidedyet @alwayshave-faith @emmettcullenswife

[tyongxnct]

𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 - 𝐿𝑒𝑒 𝐽𝑒𝑛𝑜

pairing: Jeno x reader

special guest: Jaemin

summary: Jeno and you used to be deeply in love. Your relationship was almost too good to be true. But after a while, the perfect relationship was anything but perfect. No more talking about your problems, just yelling and shouting until you had enough. The lack of communication destroyed your relationship and moving on was harder than you two thought.

song: we don’t talk anymore - Selena Gomez

genre: angst, breakup!au

warnings: swearing

word count: 3.7k

A/N: can’t believe that i’m almost done with the series, omg. I hope you enjoy this 💖 

taglist: @alex-chann​, @aesthetichrj​

© tyongxnct on all platforms

We don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore Like we used to do We don't love anymore What was all of it for? Oh, we don't talk anymore Like we used to do

Your relationship with Jeno was almost perfect, a love just like the ones written in fairytales. You were snow white and he was prince charming, he saved you when you were at your lowest. He held your hand and never let go. You were Arielle and he was prince Eric. You would give up anything for him just like Arielle gave up her voice to be with Eric. Your love was so strong, so real, and so simple. The key was communication. You always talked to each other no matter what was going on. Whether it was about jealousy, decisions about the future, family problems or difficulties with friends. You talked about everything and anything and you always found a solution. Whenever you had a disagreement you talked about it and all the problems were solved like that.

But your relationship didn’t end with a happy ending like all the fairytales did.

The communication stopped and your relationship slowly fell apart.

“How was your day?” you asked him. Jeno was busy with his phone and you tried to get his attention.

“Good.”

Next try.

“I talked to my mother this morning. She missed us and I told her we would visit her this weekend I hope that’s okay for you.”

Jeno’s face lit up with anger. “I told you I was busy. You can’t just tell her that we’ll visit. A no is a no, Y/n. I don’t have time to visit your family what’s so hard to understand?”

“I know that you’re busy, but I thought that you should relax a little and stop worrying about work-“

“You want me to relax and stop worry about work? Who’s gonna pay the bills If I just relax?” he hissed. He had a long day, and he wasn’t in the mood to talk to you.

“It’s just for one weekend-“

“Cancel it. Or you know what? Just go without me. Go visit your mother and let me relax at home without you nagging about everything for once.” Jeno left the living room and entered the kitchen. A bottle of beer would help him calm down, he thought.

“We’re not done, Jeno. Can you just consider it without being an ass?”

“I’m not going to discuss this with you. I’m exhausted. Let me be, for god’s sake.”

You left him alone in the kitchen just like he wanted to be, you entered your bedroom and got changed to go to sleep. You weren’t sure If you changed, but Jeno changed for sure. He’s cold and always so moody. You couldn’t even have a simple conversation with him.

You left the apartment without saying anything to Jeno. He was at work and whenever you called or texted, he got mad. You decided to visit your family, maybe a three-day break would help your relationship get back to normal, you really hoped it would.

Jeno entered the apartment and instead of smelling the delicious food you always made, he was welcomed by silence and an empty apartment. Jeno looked around but you were nowhere to be seen. Some of your clothes were also gone and he started to panic.

He called you immediately and he was furious. How could you leave without telling him anything?

“Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” he asked angrily.

“Jeno I told you that I was going to visit my parents why are you acting like this?” you hissed back.

“I-I forgot- but you could’ve told me this morning! Or last night, do you really think I can remember everything you tell me?!”

He kept yelling even though he knew that you didn’t do anything wrong.

“Are you being serious right now? You can’t even remember one thing I tell you and you get angry at me? Maybe you should listen to me the first time instead of acting like I did something wrong. I’m going to turn my phone off until Monday. Don’t try to contact me.” And you hung up without letting him speak again.

Jeno angrily threw his phone on the bed and took off his clothes to take a shower. He knew that you were right, but he would never admit that. He should be happy, he could finally relax and have fun without you being there 24/7.

You thought that he would change when you come back, but he didn’t.

He was still the same. Not listening but always complaining and ignoring your feelings. Three days with your family made you happier than the last three months with Jeno.

After another week with him, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“This, whatever this is, is not good for us! There’s not a moment you’re not complaining or yelling at me! Not a single I love you left your mouth since I don’t even know, two months! You’re always telling me that everything I do is wrong and that you’re sick of me! T-This isn’t the relationship we once had. There’s no love- just pain. All I feel when I look at you is pain a-and I don’t want that… I-I just want you to love me, but this is going nowhere. So I’m going to say it now,” you inhaled deeply, “L-Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.”

Tears streamed down your face and you couldn’t even remember the last time you had cried like this. Your heart was breaking, and it hurt so much, but you knew that he’d never do the first step and just break up with you because he hated being confronted. The communication died just like your relationship.

“Fine. Then leave. If you want to break up, let’s do it. Let’s end it here.” Jeno’s blood was boiling with anger, he thought, but it was actually pain and the fear of losing you. But just like always, he didn’t talk to you about your problems and just agreed on breaking up.

I just heard you found the one you've been looking You've been looking for I wish I would have known that wasn't me 'Cause even after all this time, I still wonder Why I can't move on Just the way you did so easily

Don't wanna know Kind of dress you're wearing tonight If he's holding onto you so tight The way I did before I overdosed Should've known your love was a game Now I can't get you out of my brain Oh, it's such a shame

It’s been almost eight months since your breakup with Jeno. With every passing second, your memories slowly faded. You moved out and moved into a small apartment on the other side of the city, far, far away from place you once called home. It took you a little time to finally get used to the fact that you and Jeno weren’t together anymore.

You weren’t actually looking for someone new, the empty spot in your heart wasn’t 100% ready to be filled again, but when you met Na Jaemin, a literal angel, you couldn’t help but slowly fall for him. You met him in a bookstore, while you were looking for a new book to read, he was working there and helped you find the perfect book and after you finished the book, you spend all of your time in the little bookstore with him. Your relationship with Jaemin started as friends but your heart skipped a beat whenever you were with him and you knew that you wanted to be more than friends. Jaemin could swear that it was love at first sight, when he saw you while you looked through the bookstore and after he got to know you, he fell even harder.

He knew about your relationship with Jeno and he agreed on taking it slow. He showered you with so much love and he was always there for you.

It was one of your friends birthdays when you met Jeno again. She was a mutual friend, and you didn’t want to go at first, but Jaemin encouraged you to face him.

You changed your outfit, even though you weren’t really in the mood to wear a dress but you still wore one. You wanted to show your sexy side to Jaemin. The poor guy always saw you wearing oversized hoodies and sweatpants, but he always told you that you looked hot and sexy, no matter what you were wearing.

“I didn’t know that Y/n has a new boyfriend.” Jeno heard someone say.

“Oh yeah, his name is Jaemin. I’ve met him a couple weeks ago and I’ve never seen her happier.”

Jeno looked at the girl talking. How would she know how happy you were before? How would she know that you weren’t happier when you were with him? You were always happy with him, he thought. Well, you were always happy until he decided to hurt you.

He still remembers how hard you tried and how he pushed you away. You gave your everything to save your relationship but Jeno didn’t care and when you broke up with him, he just let you.

But he was sure, that nobody could make you happier than he could. Right?

You have a new boyfriend, so what?

It’s been months, but you were still the only thing on Jeno’s mind. He was nervous, maybe coming to the club was a stupid decision. He didn’t know why you were still on his mind after months of pushing you away. Why is he thinking about you? Why is he always dreaming of you?

You weren’t thinking about him anymore, you moved on. You moved on and found someone new, someone who made you happier.

Why couldn’t he stop seeing you everywhere?

Why couldn’t he stop missing you?

Jeno started to panic.

He didn’t want to see you. He didn’t want to see you with someone else. He didn’t want to see you happy without him.

You were playing with his heart and his brain. You were the one who left and when you left you took a part of his heart with you and after you left, everything fell apart and he hated you. Jeno hated you because you played with him, you made him think that it was his fault and after you left, everything reminded you of him and he was broken.

But he knew that it was his fault.

No matter how hard he tried to push the thought away, that he destroyed the best thing he had, deep inside, he knew that he destroyed it with his own two hands.

While Jeno was deep in thoughts, he didn’t even notice that he was drinking and drinking and when he saw you walk to your friend with a stranger holding your hand, he finished his fifth glass of whiskey in one go. Jeno was actually drinking a simple cocktail, he can’t remember when he changed his drink to something stronger. You looked, well, you looked as beautiful as always, but the big smile on your face was almost foreign to him, he thought.

When was the last time you smiled like that when you were with him?

He couldn’t remember.

Jeno’s grip around his glass tightened as he watched that guy put his hand on your waist, pulling you closer.

You greeted all of your friends and Jeno watched you from the bar.

Jeno was jealous, not only because Jaemin could hold you, but also because of all of the other guys who looked at you. He hated it, he always hated it. Jeno hated the fact that someone looked at his girlfriend. Whenever you talked about his jealousy you assured him that there was no reason to get jealous and with time, his jealousy wasn’t as bad as it was before.

But right now, he felt like he was going to explode.

Jaemin held you tightly, he knew that Jeno was there but he wasn’t worried. After everything you told him, he knew that there was absolutely no reason to be worried. He trusted you and you trusted him.

You introduced Jaemin to a couple friends, he was nice to everyone and when you were so into the conversation with your friend, Jaemin kissed your cheek and told you that he’s going to get you and himself something to drink.

He knew what you liked, he didn’t have to ask you.

When Jaemin walked to the bar, Jeno watched him with anger in his eyes. Jaemin didn’t notice and when he leaned against the bar, right next to Jeno, he ordered two drinks. Jaemin thanked the bartender and walked back to you.

His hands and lips were all over you, Jeno’s blood was boiling.

You danced with Jaemin and Jeno was ready to leave the club, he couldn’t watch you have fun with someone else. It hurt too much. But when he was about to leave, your eyes met his.

Time stood still.

Jeno couldn’t hear the loud crowd of the club and the loud music anymore, all he could hear was your voice, your broken voice telling him that you wanted to break up.

Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.

Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.

Let’s just break up and stop our suffering.

You were suffering when you were with Jeno and Jeno realized how much of a fool he was. How he took you for granted and how he ignored your feelings.

Jeno hurt you.

You just wanted to feel loved and Jeno couldn’t give you that. You talked to him, you told him how hurt you were, how much you missed him. You were in pain and it was his fault.

Jeno realized, that he always loved you.

He shouldn’t have let you go. He shouldn’t have agreed to break up. He should’ve tried to change, to be better for you, to show you how much he actually loved you. But it was over now, you were not his anymore and it was all his fault.

You softly smiled at Jeno, even after everything he put you through, you were still too nice to him.

Jeno’s eyes were empty, just like your side of his bed, just like his heart. You filled his life with joy, love, and happiness. His heart was full of love for you, but now it was just pain and longing.

Jeno tried to smile back at you, he wanted to tell you so many things, but he couldn’t.

His eyes filled with tears, his fist clenched, his gaze left you and he tried not to cry in the middle of a club. He was so drunk and he couldn’t let his drunk self take over and hurt you further, that’s how he looked one last time at you and left the club without thinking twice.

Jeno wanted to go home and drink until he couldn’t feel that arche in his heart anymore.

I just hope you're lying next to somebody Who knows how to love you like me There must be a good reason that you're gone Every now and then I think you might want me to Come show up at your door But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong

Don't wanna know If you're looking into her eyes If she's holding onto you so tight The way I did before I overdosed Should've known your love was a game Now I can't get you out of my brain Oh, it's such a shame

six months ago

It’s been two months since your breakup with Jeno. You missed him. You missed Jeno so much, it hurt. Being apart from Jeno hurt you even more.

You didn’t know what you were supposed to do.

It was almost midnight and your heart fought against your brain.

What if Jeno missed you too?

What if Jeno thought about you?

What if he regrets how he acted and was sorry?

You couldn’t take it anymore.

You didn’t know how you ended up in front of his apartment, but you found yourself in your car. You heart won against your brain.

What if he laughs at you?

What if he kicks you out?

What if he was over you?

But, what if he wants you back?

You were afraid, you were so afraid and the second you unclasped your belt you saw Jeno with a girl in his arms.

He was holding her hand.

He was smiling brightly.

He was done with you.

The sight in front of you broke your heart once again. You didn’t think he’d move on that fast, but then again you didn’t know if he started seeing her after your breakup. What if he cheated on you with her?

You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply.  

Seeing Jeno with someone else hurt, but you realized that moment that you had to move on too. You didn’t want to suffer anymore, you didn’t want to be sad anymore. You couldn’t hold onto something that was breaking you apart. It was over and there was no going back.

Present

When your eyes met Jeno’s, you smiled genuinely. You held eye contact for a second and you realized that he looked… broken? He didn’t look like the Jeno you once knew. Dark bags under his eyes and his eyes were red, he couldn’t even walk properly, he was too drunk and you knew how Jeno was when he drank too much.

You weren’t going to talk to him, not because you were still angry and hurt, no. There was no reason to talk to your ex-boyfriend. You moved on and you were happier than ever. You loved Jaemin so much and you felt loved, Jaemin is all you need.

You hoped that Jeno was also happy just like you were. No matter what happened between you two, Jeno was always someone kindhearted and you wanted him to be happy. You hoped that he was with someone who loved him as much as you did.

You saw that he tried to smile at you, but when he blinked you saw how glossy his eyes were and right after, he left the club.

“Baby, are you alright?” Jaemin asked you.

“Yes, I’m fine. I love you.” You once again realized that you needed to lose Jeno to find your true love, Jaemin.

That we don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore We don't talk anymore Like we used to do We don't love anymore What was all of it for? Oh, we don't talk anymore Like we used to do

The ringing of your phone woke you up in the middle of the night. An unknown number called you.

“Hello?” you mumbled.

There was no answer.

“Who’s there?”

“H-Hi, Y/n.”

“Jeno?” you sat up in your bed, your back resting against the bedframe.

“Yes… it’s me. I’m sorry that I called you this late but-“ he stopped talking.

“But?”

“I- I just wanted to hear you voice.” He whispered.

“Jeno-“

“N-No please, just listen to me? Okay? Please.” He begged.

“Fine.

“E-Ever since I saw you at the club… I-I can’t get you out of my head- wait, no that’s not true, I couldn’t get you out my head for the last months now. A-And when I saw you again, I just… I just didn’t know what to do, so I called you and I want to tell you, that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I treated you. I’m sorry for hurting you, I-I’m so fucking sorry that I let you go that easily. I should’ve tried to keep you- there are so many things I regret.” He sobbed.

“Jeno-“

“I’m not done. I hate myself so much. I feel so lonely and I miss you. I miss you so much- I miss what we had before I destroyed everything- I miss holding you, kissing you and loving you.”

“What about your girlfriend? I thought you were happy with her?” you asked, there was no emotion in your voice.

“Girlfriend? What girlfriend?” he asked confused.

“Two months after our breakup I, uhm, I drove to your house and I saw you holding hands with a girl. You looked happy. I thought you were happy.” You admitted.

“N-No no, there’s no one. S-she was just someone I hooked up with, she didn’t mean anything to me. I promise you that she was just distraction.” Jeno rambled, “But what were you doing there?”

“I,” you breathed in and out, “I wanted to try again. I thought we could start over or something. I don’t know. I had missed you.”

“Y-You wanted to try again? You mean there was a chance for us to get back together?” he couldn’t stop his tears, “You mean I destroyed another chance with you?”

“It’s better this way.”

“No! I can’t believe this, I could be with you right now, I could be holding you right now. I could-“ his voice broke, “I fuck up everything. I let you suffer and I don’t know what to do. I-I love you, I never stopped loving you.”

“Jeno, I’m sorry, but I’m in a happy relationship. It’s over, I’m really sorry but-“

“No, please give me another chance, I’ll show you how much I love you, please Y/n, I love you I can make you happy, give me one last chance to make everything right-“

“I love Jaemin. I really love him. I don’t think we should be talking right now, I’m sorry but please don’t call me ever again.” You didn’t want to hurt him further but this conversation was going nowhere.

“Please, don’t do this to us, please, I love you I-I really do. I missed you voice so much, don’t hang up please. Y/n, I love you. Please tell me that you love me too, please.”

“I’m sorry.”

You could hear his whimpers and cries and you would be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt you hearing him cry like that. But you moved on and there was no way that you go back to Jeno.

“N-No, I’m sorry, so sorry for everything- I-I hope he k-knows how rare you are. I didn’t know that and then I lost you. I love you.”

“Goodbye Jeno.”

“Goodbye, Y/n…I love you.”

SEQUEL: the way I loved you

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's [23-08-2021 - 29-08-2021] reading log is here! I read a lot again this week and I feel like it's a lovely variety of fics. Most fics are Stucky like usual, but there's at least one other ship. I am constantly amazed by the talent people have in this fandom! There was one fic I read on Tumblr that I can't seem to find unfortunately, but when I do I'll make sure to reblog and rec it 💕

Favourites are marked with a 🌻

When life gives you lemons by moonthejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 40k words, Mature] (12/15 chapters available)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

The Masseur and the Assassin by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy @buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 17k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes needed a vacation from his job. What he found was a happy ending.

The Words Breathe by buckbarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

All Steve has to do is keep his promise. When he doesn’t, Bucky gets mouthy.

Soft by this_wayward_life @wayward-lives [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

The last time he'd seen Bucky he'd looked unhealthy, with pallid skin and greasy, lanky hair. Now, Bucky shone; his hair was thick and silky, his skin a deep bronze from spending so much time outside. He was softer, too; the hard muscle that used to cover him was now replaced by soft fat, his body still strong, but in a more mundane way. His thighs were thicker, his ass plumper, and when he'd pulled Steve into the river Steve had noticed the pudge on his stomach.

Seeing Bucky so happy, well-fed and shining, was a bit of a kick in the face. For all the years they'd known each other, he'd never seen Bucky so... care-free. Now that Bucky was putting on weight, his middle soft and his body malleable, it sent a bolt of arousal through Steve every time he noticed the curves of Bucky's body.

Or: Bucky put on a bit of weight in Wakanda, and Steve is Not Coping.

🌻 Revive Another Side of Me by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Steve’s never lived in a world without Bucky, and he’s not living now. It takes them a while, much too long, to get that awaited rest, a little slice of peace after the dust has settled.Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are inseparable, history remembers. But they’re not men of the past quite yet.

🌻 imagine being loved by me by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Just after 1am - a few hours after he posted today’s photo - he hears the tell-tale sound of a twitter message. Bucky grabs his phone, not checking who it’s from as he opens it because it’s probably one of his mutuals yelling at him as per usual. When he actually looks at his phone, though, it’s not Natasha

The ‘verified’ check stares back at him for a long moment before he can even bring himself to process the name on his screen. Steve Rogers is messaging him. Or, he reasons, a very good fake. The handle looks right though, not that Bucky knows. Not that Bucky has Captain’s America’s tweets set up as notifications, or that Bucky’s own display name is set to captain america’s bitch. Not at all.

Hey, the first message says. It’s Steve.

🌻 JB’s Complete Lube Services by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

People just didn’t approach Captain America and proposition him. Although, sometimes Steve wished they would; even the pinnacle of virtue and justice needed to get dicked down from time to time.

Or, the one where Steve has the hots for a mechanic and decides to be proactive in getting that dick.

If it had to be someone by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Bucky had known since he was a child that he didn’t have a choice in who he married, but he’d thought he had more time before the day arrived.

Miscalculations by christywantspizza @christywantspizza [Ransom Drysdale/Reader, 6k words, Explicit]

Ransom tries to get you to sleep with him by less than honorable means. You give him what he wants, just not how he wants it.

How to Seduce a Writer by obsessivereader [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

What's a determined master strategist going to do when the oblivious writer he's trying to woo keeps missing all the clues?

He doesn’t think it’s because he hadn’t signaled his own interest to Bucky. He’s pretty much done everything short of hitting Bucky over the head with semaphore flags by this point. There’s no way Bucky could’ve missed them. Unless… There’d been that one link he’d stumbled upon when he’d googled ‘how to talk to a writer’. It’d been written by a writer, who’d been candid about how oblivious writers could be, and how someone could go about seducing one. An idea starts to form. It’s ridiculous, but at this point, he’s willing to go with ridiculous, since subtle wasn’t getting him anywhere.

🌻 Pod Bless America by Deisderium @deisderium [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Bucky can't believe his favorite podficcer recorded his newest fanfic AU of the show Commandos. He's even more surprised when the customer who busts him listening to fic while he's working in the office supply store turns out to be that podficcer.

* The guy—maybe bi_shield?—took his phone, looked down at the screen, and smiled. "Yeah, that one's mine," he said with no evidence of embarrassment. "It was a good one." He handed the phone back to Bucky.

"I wrote it," Bucky croaked.

take a bite by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 7k words, Mature]

"I’d never let anyone freeze to death.” Steve gives a big sigh and flutters his lashes. “All that blood gone to waste.”

Bucky’s lips turn down and his nose scrunches up a little. “I want to be grossed out, but…”

“But you get it.” Steve gives him a pointed look. “Vampires aren’t the only ones who can appreciate how juicy blood is.”

*

Or: Vampire Steve saves newly-turned werewolf Bucky from a snowstorm.

Leaving the Shield Behind by BuckyAboveEverything [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

“So, on one hand, we have Steve Rogers - hunk, genius, animal lover. Buys you waffles and overpriced coffee. 100% wholesome all-American boy.”

“And, on the other hand, we have Capsicle – twink, smart-ass, fanboy. Reads your stories and sends you fanart. Possibly a pervert or a serial killer.”

Bucky groaned.

“I am 100% certain I am 0% sure of what to do."

Bucky Barnes, full-time copywriter and free-time fanfic writer, struggles to choose between two equally-attractive suitors, only to find that he doesn’t have to after all.

* Based on a true story *

Cap's Book Corner by Neche [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Recluse Author Bucky Barns stumbles into fanboy Steve Rogers bookstore one day...

Cat Nap by galwednesday @galwednesday [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

Objectively, losing the Bucharest safehouse and its contents was the least of Bucky’s problems. The balding agent he’d seen directing the raid was apparently affiliated with SHIELD, which was a shadowy government agency that made representatives from other shadowy government agencies suddenly remember urgent appointments when Bucky tried to bribe, threaten, and otherwise shake them down for information on what the hell SHIELD might want with a former brainwashed assassin. Dodging SHIELD should be his number one priority.

Subjectively, he wanted his fucking cat back.

at any given moment by honeypuffed [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky find out that everyone thinks they're sleeping together.

Brought to Brightness by eyres [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

🌻 Nokken Wood by leveragehunters @leveragehunters [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

When Sam's friend needs a house-sitter for his place in the country, Steve jumps at the chance. Six months rent-free to do nothing but draw and paint and wander the countryside, looking for inspiration? It was like a dream. But when he gets lost in a storm and nearly falls into a pond he starts to rethink the whole like a dream aspect of life in the country. And when a red-eyed, sharp-clawed, silver-fanged creature rises out of the darkness, Steve is one hundred percent certain the dream's morphed into a nightmare.

...until it gives him a cup of tea.

(Inspired partly by this prompt a supernatural creature is supposed to scare you but instead it gives you a cup of tea and a blanket because you're having a bad day and you keep coming back and partly by this painting.)

Professional Pride by galwednesday [Stucky, 700 words, Teen]

Bucky is having a very good day, until he turns around and finds himself face-to-face with Captain America.

“Oh shit,” he blurts before he can stop himself, and Captain America blinks at him. “Hey, hi, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Here, at New York’s Pride parade, surrounded by thousands of happy screaming people wearing rainbows and sometimes not much else. What is he doing here? Is he on guard duty or something? Was he just on a mission and happened to be passing by on his way back?

He’s in uniform but with the cowl loose around his neck, so when he rubs the back of his head it fluffs up his matted hair. “I, uh. I saw one of your–temporary tattoos?” Captain fucking America says, like it’s a question.

The A-bridged Guide to Trolling by galwednesday [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

“I don’t have any money.”

Oh no, now the girl looked upset. Her eyes were huge and her lip was wobbling. Bucky tried to think fast despite the oh shit oh shit oh shit looping through his head.

“That’s okay,” Bucky said gently. “I don’t need money. We can figure out another kind of toll.”

The girl frowned at him. “Like what?”

Bucky scratched his head, trying to think of something a kid was certain to have on hand. “Do you know any jokes?”

(Fantasy AU in which Steve is a hedge witch with a green thumb, Bucky is a bridge troll who's new in town, and knock-knock jokes are a viable form of currency.)

It's a bittersweet ending (if you know what I mean) by relenafanel [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]

“I’ll see you around, Steve,” Bucky answers with a smirk, moving away from the counter with a wink.

Steve watches him go. Bucky’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans coated in something to give the appearance of leather. It’s impossible to not watch him go.

stuck on you by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

Decision-Making in Relationships (Paid Research Opportunity!) by castiowl [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

Clint looked thoughtfully at the flyer. “I guess your actual roommate wouldn’t be down with it?”

Bucky frowned. “Have you met Steve Rogers?”

no way out but through by hollimichele [Stucky, 9k words, Teen]

Steve never sees it coming.

you got blood on your hands (and i know it's mine) by nighimpossible [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Bucky refuses to see Steve after his deprogramming.

Like What You See by daisymondays [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]

For all the time Bucky’s spent fantasizing about meeting Captain America, he’d never imagined it would be while posing nude in front of a drawing class.

🌻 A Real Boy by itsnotbleak [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]

It took the Winter Soldier three weeks to remember that human beings needed to sleep and eat.

It took Steve far too long to realise the Winter Soldier was sleeping in his bed.

Amapola by chaya [Stucky, 830 words, Teen]

Total fluff. Bucky's recovering nicely. Steve's oblivious. Sometimes it's best to set aside subtlety for action.

Knocking Boots With Sugar by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

In between summers at college, Steve Rogers wants a new adventure beyond his lonely life in Brooklyn. He ends up in West Texas working on a dude ranch where Bucky Barnes is a long-time employee. When Bucky offers to buy Steve a drink, they end up drunk on tequila and making out in public. For the rest of the summer, they're inseparable. As the summer draws to a close, Steve realizes he doesn't want to leave.

Rogers and Associate by roe87 @jro616 [Stucky, 7k words, Teen]

When they first meet, Bucky is a hooker and Steve is a cop. She's been arrested, but Steve lets her off.

Years pass and they maintain a casual friendship, seeing each other out on the streets most nights.

Though he later makes detective, Steve loses faith in the system and quits his job.

He wants to set up as a private investigator, and he asks Bucky if she'd be his assistant.

Just in time by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]

Bucky knew the apartment he was renting was old fashioned, but walking in the front door and finding himself transported back to 1938 was not on the list of things he had prepared himself for.

🌻 You Like What's in My Head by dontcallmebree [Stucky, 15k words, Explicit] (with art by @kocuria)

Bucky can’t decide if Steve’s a tough nut to crack or incredibly easy. The timbre of his voice, a low and almost amused, “Sure, kid,” when Bucky asks for a drink feels like something gripping him on the back of his neck.

He thinks this might be one of those moments in life he’ll pinpoint in the future and either curse at for dooming himself, or remember fondly with pride.

He’s right. Bucky Barnes blunders through falling in love with Commander Rogers and tries to find a deeper meaning behind the expensive gifts and thorough fucking.

Can I Sit Here? by BuckyFrickenBarnes [Stucky, 962 words, General]

Bucky has unusual methods for getting rid of his writer's block.

Or, Bucky needs that table.

Workplace Romance by BuckyFricken Barnes [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Bucky is under the impression that his boss hates him.

Or,

Steve needs to get better at dealing with his feelings.

🌻 1-800-MAYTAG by Miss Plum @misspluckyplum [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

Bucky just wants to get some housework done. It gets out of hand fast. Silly little fluff and smut romp with snarky stucky boys.

Eyes of the Forest by Lordelannette [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit] (2/8 chapters available)

When Omega Bucky Barnes comes to Eagle Lake, it was in search of wolves, a creature that had not been seen in the area for decades.

What he finds instead is Steve Rogers, a handsome, though quiet Alpha who seems to be everywhere in the forest.

[a-supernatural-writer]

hcs for poly! tlb with a fem! s/o who’s style is dark academia and is really blunt/logical and smart. she basically gives off a ‘mysterious, quiet, dark, critical’ vibe (she also doesn’t really know how to handle people who are extremely emotional and she doesn’t know how to soothe someone. she’s just really oblivious/clueless when it comes to others feelings). i’m so sorry if what i requested doesn’t make sense or if it was too much. i am seriously incapable of writing anything without making it look like an essay lmao. love your work btw 💕✨

Dark Academia Fem! S/O 

Poly Lost Boys x Fem reader

I had so much fun writing this! I love the dark academia aesthetic! And it made perfect sense and it wasn’t too much! Having a lot actually helps me expand and write more so thank you. And I’m the same, once I have an idea, I write a lot, so you’re all good! And awww!!! Thank you!!! 💗💗✨✨ I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!

Okay, so you are very different compared to the large number of characters on the boardwalk. Your style consisted of button shirts, sweaters or turtle necks, dress pants or a plaid pleated skirts, cardigans or waistcoats, oxford shoes or even wire framed glasses if you wore them for seeing or just for the look. 

To say that you caught the boys attention would be an understatement. You seemed to stand out amongst the crowd and they became curious. You were a mystery to them and they love the challenge. 

Somehow, someway, after days or weeks later, you became good friends which soon lead to you dating four trouble making punks. It was tough on both parts, but it happened, and hey, you weren’t complaining. 

You were very blunt when you first met them, not really interested in them and more or less interested in the book in your hands. It took a lot of “accidental” run ins to even get you to hang out with them. 

You slowly opened up when they offered to take you out for dinner at a local diner. They’re constant joking soon had you letting out small, almost whisper-like giggles and tiny smiles that sent them into a frenzy. 

When you would start talking about yourself, your ideas of fun were different from theirs. You liked museums, opera houses, bookstores and going to theaters to see plays. The games you played were chess and cards, and the music you listened to was old. You were pretty sure they thought you were boring but you actually peaked their interest. 

After a while of being friends with them, they asked you out. You liked them and the only logical step was to see if you liked them the same way they liked you was to date them, so you said yes. 

In general, them having a girlfriend with a 1940s/1950s dark prep look was fun. David and Dwayne like it the most. Paul next, then Marko. 

David actually really likes picking out your clothing on most days. You have an extensive collection of clothing with material from cashmere to linen, all the colors consisting of browns, black, cream and even a little dark green. 

His favorite thing to put you in is trench coats. Doesn’t matter what color it is, he just likes seeing you in them. Also, there are a handful of times that he has MADE you wear his trench coat. Yeah it almost swimmed on you, but he thought it made you look cute and it fit in perfectly with your look. 

Dark academia isn’t only your style, but it’s your way of life. David is the one that plays chess with you. You had to reteach it to him and pretty soon, the two of you had your own little set up in the cave that was always ready for a game of chess. 

David is sort of like you… in a way when it comes to others feelings. But deep down he knows that he really likes you and tries to show it the best he can. He took you to a theater to see a play that you were constantly talking about and so he took you on a date. You being you, didn’t realize that’s what it was until he told it straight to your face. Let’s just say you were speechless for the next hour. 

Also, when it’s just the two of you, deep inside the cave where your nest is, classical music is playing from your record player. It could be Beethoven, Tchaikovsky or Mozart. Whoever it is, David is the one that will listen to it with you the most. I think he really enjoys classical music and he enjoys it even more if the two of you are cuddling in your bed. 

Occasionally Dwayne would join the two of you. You would be sitting in between David’s legs as Dwayne sat in between yours, his head leaning back against your chest. It was like a cuddle pile… cuddle train?? Whatever you wanted to call it, it was cuddling while the three of you relaxed listening to classical music. And it was darn cute. 

Dwayne loves listening to you go on and on about any books you were reading at the moment. Whether or not it was nonfiction or even about any type of history. He was down. He lived through a lot and he knew about half of the stuff you gushed on about, but for some odd reason, it never bored him when you talked about it. 

He would be the one to get you new books, leaving you sweet little notes tied to them. Of course you thought it was just him being nice and thanked him for it without thinking there was any romantic meaning behind it. Yeah he was one of your boyfriends but it never really crossed your mind that way. He would just shake his head at your obliviousness and give you a small peck on the lips. 

Don’t ask him why, but his favorite look on you is a light cream colored blouse with a plaid skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Dwayne is a leg man so… he’s very happy when decide to show off some skin if you decide not to wear knee-socks or stockings with it. Even if you did wear them, he would still be attached to your side the entire night. 

Like David, Dwayne would bring you out to a lot of places that were opened late at night. If there was an art exhibition in town or even a museum that was open late, just say the word and he will happily drive you on his bike. Heck, David might even tag along. 

Also, late night bookstore dates… oh my heart, it’s too sweet it hurts. There are times that he does have to throw you over his shoulder when the bookstore is closing and you're pretty much refusing to leave. When he does that, you just stay frozen over his shoulder, not knowing if you should be blushing or cursing at him for carrying you like a sack of potatoes. 

If anything, you and Dwayne connect very well. You’re naturally very quiet and so is he. Not much is said between you two but there's a mutual understanding that can’t be explained. While the others are out causing trouble, you and him are on the sidelines watching hand in hand or your reading and he's just staring at you as you do so. 

Paul and Marko kind of give you whiplash. They’re loud and rowdy and definitely 100% opposite from you. But they interested you. They had a very chaotic outlook on life which made you ask many questions. 

Paul found your look sexy. He’s horny and you give off preppy school vibes, he’s living for it 24/7. Constant teasing of you giving him ‘private lessons’ which results with you whacking a book against the back of his head. But it doesn’t stop the reddening of your ears which doesn’t make him stop.  

This man is also your designated jewelry expert. You only wear some accessories and they're very simple. So you are very surprised when Paul finds you jewelry that is your style and collects it for you. You like leather watches, guess what, he’s got it for you. You want some fancy victorian looking brooches, he’s got that too. Simple rings with a single jewel in the middle, expect constant ‘will you marry me’ jokes, but he gets you the best.

Also, he’s not overly big into your music selection. He does try to get you into his type of music, which you only like very few and far between. But when you do get him to listen to your type of music, it’s only if you agree to listen to his music the next night. You guys come up with a system and decide to switch every few nights. 

Each of the boys have their favorite look on you and Paul's is when you wear a button-up of any color with a simple black tie, a pencil skirt and a pair of Dr.Marten boots. He especially likes the tie… for reasons. God damn it, you know the reasons, get out of here. 

He’s a very affectionate boy and he finds your looks over confusion some of the cutest shit he’s ever seen. Probably the first one to tell you that he loves you and you honestly like glitched out. Did you feel the same way? Yes, but poor little thing you doesn’t say it right away, but Paul knows that you aren’t really used to saying things like that without warming up to it. Which is okay. He knows even if you don’t say it. 

He definitely steals one of your blazers to put pins on it. Marko helps, putting a few patches on it that they both know you would like. It’s the one item that stands out in all of your clothing and you will wear it if they ask you to. 

Marko definitely thinks the look is cute and it suits you very well, but why no color?! You wear dark colors but nothing bright like the colors that are on his jacket. He tries to slip in some colorful clothing into your everyday look, it never goes as planned but you give him an A for effort. 

He loves how dark you can be at times though. You want to go to a local graveyard just because? Sure! Let’s go! He’s your designated graveyard buddy. You have many date nights there, looking at all the different gravestones and finding it interesting when you jot down some names in one of your notebooks. 

Speaking of notebooks, you have many of them. They were filled with notes from books you’ve read, real life observations or even just some random poetry and short stories that you wrote. Marko would go through them a lot and even sometimes draw little doodles or rough sketches that were thought up from your writings. 

When you spend nights down at the Boardwalk, your go to drink isn’t a slushie or a milkshake or even a soda. It’s coffee or tea. Yeah, and only Marko knows your drink orders by heart. None of the others seem to remember them correctly which you thank them for trying but Marko has got them all beat. 

Marko likes seeing you in sweaters and in your trousers or linen shorts with chelsea boots. If anything, when the two of you are alone, just wearing a knit sweater and shorts were perfect for him. He likes how cozy and warm you look. He’s very happy when he cuddles you and you are warm. 

Now when they tell you that they’re vampires, you think that they’re joking. Vampires aren’t real, they’re a work of fiction. Yes there was a real man named Dracula, but there was no way that they were actual vampires. 

Then they showed you hard proof and then there was no denying it at that point. Instead of running away, you were fascinated. You wanted to understand your boyfriends vampire ways that lead to you conducting extensive research and a notebook dedicated to them. 

They showed you everything about them, how they feed, to which you didn’t bat an eyelash of watching them feed one night. You were one morbid chick but they saw that as a plus that you didn’t react. You had graveyard dates for crying out loud, nothing really surprised them at that point.

Flying came next and they had a lot of fun showing you just how high they could go with you in their arms. You never screamed at the height, you were too caught up in seeing the overhead view of the town. You could get used to seeing a view like that every night.  

Then came the other things; how they slept before you came along, what actually hurt them and what didn’t. There was one time that you stared at their vampire faces for hours because you were taking notes on how their facial features changed. 

Soon you had to stock up on more turtlenecks because of the many bite marks they would leave behind from feeding on you if the weather was bad one night. It wasn’t tough adapting to their occasional feeding. A lot of your clothing already covered up your skin so it was easy to hide from people on your nights out. 

Not too long after, they popped the question. Would you want to be a vampire? Live forever, never grow up? Be with them for all eternity? You didn’t really need to think about it for too long, you knew what your answer was and so did they even if you didn’t say it out loud. You loved your boys and not much would change.

When you did change, it was entertaining for them to watch. You soon started taking down notes about your progress, comparing and contrasting your experience to their own. 

To the eyes of many, you became even more dark and mysterious. You had an aura around you that drew people in, it’s what got you your four vampire boyfriends, only now, it brought in your meal for the night.

[inadaydream99]

Their S/O being a bookworm - with The Boyz

Requested by anon

A/N - Hi, thank you for requesting! This had taken ages for me to finish, but I really hope it was worth the wait, enjoy! 💕

Sangyeon

Plans the cutest, most thoughtful dates to different book shops and library cafes

Just enjoys the way his s/o’s face lights up when they go to these places

He also has the biggest smile on his face the whole time because seeing their excitement and passion is so heartwarming

Is genuinely intrigued about all the books they get excited over

And will ask them to explain a little about what the books are about

Is amazed by how much they know about different authors and genres etc...

Jacob

Finds out their favourite book and reads it himself so he can understand his s/o more

He wants to be able to share passions and interests with his s/o

So it would mean the absolute world to him if they reciprocated by showing interest in things he enjoys too

Will do anything just to see the bright smile on their face

And loves to ask them questions about the book they are currently reading

Younghoon

Loves when his s/o reads out loud to him

He just finds their voice so soothing and it helps lull him off to sleep after a long and tiring day

Though sometimes he just likes to sit with them in his lap while they read to themselves

He never gets bored of watching the way their eyes light up when they get really engrossed into a book

And always finds it funny when they randomly gasp in shock

Hyunjae

Has no problem with his s/o liking to read a lot

But definitely becomes impatient and pesters them if he wants attention, though most of the time he will leave them in peace to read

Because he understands that it’s how they like to spend their free time... but it never lasts as long as his s/o would hope for

Hyunjae just wants to receive as much affection as he gives

So he will snuggle into them (even if the space is too small) and nuzzle his nose into their neck in an attempt at being distracting without making them mad

99% of the time he succeeds

Juyeon

Juyeon strikes me as more of an introverted person in general

So, with that in mind, I think he’d quite enjoy sharing quiet time with his s/o

Particularly those moments where they cuddle into him while they are engrossed in a good book

He always admires the way they seem to become so lost in their own world

It never fails to bring a smile to his face and a warmth in his chest

Both of them will definitely fall asleep like that, comfortably wrapped in each others arms and a book sprawled out next to them

Kevin

I think Kevin can be quite sentimental

So, knowing his s/o is a complete bookworm, he would get them books that reminds him of them

For example, if a cover has a picture/ illustration on the front that he thinks they’ll like, he’ll get it for them... it doesn’t always matter what the book is about

I mean, he’s more than likely bought them a book for babies because he thinks the pictures are cute

Or if he hears them going on about a book they’ve always wanted to read, then surprise! He’s got it for them

Although he doesn’t have much time to sit down and really get stuck into a good book, he appreciates his s/o’s love for them and will happily listen to them go on rants about characters that have done something stupid or made the wrong choice etc...

Chanhee

Honestly, I think Chanhee would really like the aesthetic of the cosy, bookworm type

Just those lazy days where he can be with his s/o and they can immerse themselves in their own little world together

Will be very caring by making them warm drinks and keeping them snuggled into his side while they read

He probably isn’t much of a reader himself (because he doesn’t have the time)

But seeing how relaxed his s/o is through reading makes him pick up a book now and again

Changmin

Wants to impress his s/o by getting more into reading

And actually finds that he loves the escapism of it

Will choose a book for them to read together and will insist on them taking turns reading out loud to one another

Also, I think he’d try to make quite romantic moments

Like running a bubble bath for them and setting up some candles so they can continue to read in the bath

Haknyeon

Likes to read, but mostly non fiction so he can learn about different topics and places he’d like to travel to with his s/o

Someone who likes to plan out different holidays in his head for them to go on and will then do loads of research on it

But he also likes to be spontaneous and to surprise his s/o

Will most likely find out where one of their favourite books is set and try to secretly plan a trip there together

Sunwoo

Finds his s/o so adorable when he sees them reading

Mostly because he loves the way they seem to be so fixated and in their own little world

Probably leaves them to enjoy reading in peace

And will invite them into a hug afterwards, asking them if they enjoyed what they are reading

Also, will happily allow them to drag hims around bookstores on their days out

But only after they’ve promised to buy him food

Eric

Wants and needs attention a lot of the time

So good luck to his s/o when they want to spend some time reading

I can see him being very playful about it

For example, will 100% creep up to them and snatch their book before running away

Will hide it somewhere before shamelessly approaching them with a smirk on his face

And the only way to get their book back is to spend time with him first

[kakashisdarling]

Breaking point - Kakashi Hatake

Kakashi x reader (slightly angsty)

She leaned towards him and gently kissed him. Kakashi pressed his eyelids harshly, he couldnt’t help it but to long for someone else’s lips.

He messed up. Big time. He never felt so lonely and even though he had lost a lot of people, this time it felt different. His eyebrows pinned together as the memories flushed his senses.

“Kakashi, I want something steadier” the kunoichi mumbled softly.

Long had he feared that moment, silence covered the room. It was a rainy morning but his feelings were cloudier than the sky.

“We’ve been together for a while and I-I… I just want to hold your hand inside and outside these four walls, what I mean is-” Kakashi raised his hand, gesturing her to stop.

“I can’t. I never lied to you Y/n, I told you I wasn’t ready” he spitted bitterly as her kind eyes turned sorrowful.

“I’m sorry if I crossed the line, Kakashi” she paused for a moment, carefully choosing her words. “For the sake of my feelings, I think we should stop seeing each other” she spoke softly with a forced smile as she gathered her clothes from the mess on the floor.

He thought it was going to be fine. He thought there was no difference between spending his nights alone or with her. Kakashi wasn’t ready to reach a compromise, the shadows of his past still chased him. He could manage alone, he thought, he always had.

That was the last time he saw her in an intimate manner.

At the beginning it wasn’t so bad, Kakashi had his head all over the place with team 7 and Y/n was avoiding him at all costs. But as weeks and months went by, he couldn’t help it but to feel remorseful. He even started dreaming about her, not only did he long for her body but for the late night chats and the way she danced while cooking breakfast. He missed dearly finding comfort in her arms after a long mission. He missed every second spent by her side. Maybe she was the one who could mend his scars, maybe she was the right one.

Kakashi was beyond wrecked when he heard the rumors. It looked like she had started dating a civilian. And even though he wasn’t the jealous type, he opened his ears every time someone mentioned that man. His name was Yako, he was new in town and he had a young daughter. Kakashi knew Y/n liked children, she once confessed that she considered becoming a teacher at the academy. He felt insecure like never before, which felt so unlike him.

And now there he was, kissing another woman. She asked him out and he said yes thinking it could help him get over his comrade. But it didn’t. He spent the whole evening comparing her to the kunoichi and he felt so annoyed.

“See you around?” the woman asked with a fruity voice.

“Sure,” he waved and tried to smile as his date made her way home.

He figured it was best to take a walk rather than going back to his apartment and his choking emotions. Kakashi really enjoyed taking late walks, it helped him clear his head, it made his feelings and his thoughts feel lighter.

“Daddy, can we get some ramen?” he heard a little voice shouting.

He turned his head to see a tiny girl running to a tall man from the training grounds.

“Your training with Y/n really tires you, doesn’t it?” the brunette man chuckled as he ducked himself to hug the child.

Kakashi felt his blood boiling. That must be Yako, Y/n new boyfriend. They had reached the point of their relationship where she even took care of his daughter’s training.

“She gave her all today, I think she deserves that ramen.” Kakashi froze when he heard a familiar sweet voice.

“All right, Ichiraku it is then. Would you like to come with us, Y/n?”

A nip of jealousy formed in Kakashi’s stomach, guiding him to act in an impulsive way. Part of him wanted to resist the impulse to barge in their conversation but the other part was itching to do something about it.  Either he tried reaching for her again or started forgetting her already, that moment was the breaking point. And before the young kunoichi could reply, Kakashi headed straight to the group.

“Kakashi-senpai,” her voice sounded surprised, her posture stiffened instantly.

“Oh! You must be Kakashi of the Sharingan, it’s such an honor to meet you!” the man cheered while stretching his hand in Kakashi’s direction.

“This is Yako and his daughter Nuura, they own the new bookstore.”

Kakashi gritted his teeth under his mask and nodded politely as he shook the man’s hand. So indeed, he was her boyfriend.

“It’s pretty late, what are you doing here?”

“Nuura is taking the Academy exam next month and Y/n very kindly offered to give her a hand.”

“She is always very kind,” he said more to himself than to the man. Y/n opened her mouth, her confused eyes searching his.

“Well, we were planning to get some ramen, would you like to join us Kakashi-san?”

“In fact,” Y/n interrupted as she composed herself. “I’m meeting my genin team early in the morning, so I should head home.”

“I’ll walk you home, I have some -uh- ninja stuff to discuss,” Kakashi blurted faster than he would’ve liked to. Y/n raised her eyebrow and nodded slowly.

Kakashi expected Yako to say something, he was her boyfriend at the end of the day. Was he simply going to let her walk home with another man?

“Good night, then. See you tomorrow, Y/n.” Yako smiled widely as he took his daughter’s hand and started walking away.

“What was that Kakashi? Why are you even here?” she inquired, a slight hue of annoyance in her voice.

Kakashi didn’t know what to say, why was he there?

“Are you dating him?” he tried to keep an emotionless voice.

“Who? Yako?” Y/n pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated. “What if I am? It’s none of your business!”

Before he could process his own actions, Kakashi leaned forward and smashed his lips with hers. Y/n wanted to fight the kiss but after a couple seconds she gave in, the kiss felt so consuming. It melted her walls. She had longed for him all those months they spent apart, there was no way of keeping those feelings hidden.

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi mumbled as he pressed his forehead against hers. “I don’t mean to interfere in your relationship but I thought- ”

“Yako and I aren’t together, I’m just helping Nuura. There’s nothing more,” she clarified unsure as to why she did, there was no future between them and she didn’t owe him any explanations.

“That’s… good.” Y/n pinned her eyebrows together, he was a big riddle she couldn’t solve. “I was wrong to think I could simply push you away.” Kakashi sighed heavily, “My past is full of regrets and I always thought I was meant to suffer on my own, but somehow you helped me withstand the uncertainty. You were there for me, you comforted me without judgements. I hope it’s not too late to say this, but I want to be with you. I want to walk by your side and to kiss you goodbye when you leave for a mission. I want to be there for you like you were for me. I w-” his words got lost in his throat as Y/n placed her hands on the corners of his face and pressed a gentle kiss on his warm lips.

“Took you long enough,” she teased, smiling against his lips.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, you just needed time to grasp your feelings.”

Kakashi felt his chest lighter. All his life he had been carrying some heavy baggage and now he found someone who would share the weight with him. He realized he never felt so happy, nor his head had ever been this clear. He knew his life was about to get a little brighter at her side.

Hey guys! So this was my first time writing angst, bear with me. I also wanted to try a different perspective since I usually use first person. So I hope it’s good enough and more importantly that you liked it.

Also this is the last fic of the 100 celebration, I hope you enjoyed the daily fics. Without further ado, thanks for all your support and thanks for reading! <3

[maneskinrollercoaster]

~ I Loved You For All This Time Apart ~

Pairing: Damiano David x Lea (fictional character)

Word count: 1759

Warnings: Slightly bit of swearing.

Summary: Lea makes a hard decision which has major consequences on her relationship.

The doors opened and she saw him. Damiano was standing in front of her while she walked past the gate from her plane. They haven’t seen each other for a long time. Three years passed since their breakup but they still didn’t stop loving each other.

Damiano was stubborn. When Lea told him that she wants to leave to England, he quickly protested, saying that she’s better living in Italy, in her home country, rather than being all alone in an unknown place without any family or friends.

He always wanted to impress everyone. When he was in the studio with Vic, Thomas and Ethan, everything had to be perfect. He didn’t leave the place without making sure that every sound and lyric were on point. Lea told him that he can’t overwork himself like that but he didn’t listen and stayed in the studio from dusk till dawn working his ass off till he fell asleep on the floor with papers in his tired hands.

Damiano never missed the opportunity to party. Whether it was celebrating their new albums or just a local festival, he never said no to going out with his friends. He drank a lot on the parties which made Lea angry. Once he got so drunk that Lea had to call a Taxi and literally crawl with him on her back to get him home. She was furious that night, which didn’t happen often and threatened him that they will break up if he won’t stop being so irresponsible.

She wasn’t a loud person though. She never got angry and never raised her voice. It was really hard to make her go out of control and she knew that sometimes she was too kind to everyone. Damiano always told her that she should stand up for herself more but she was too generous to see bad in people.

When she got irritated she usually closed herself in the bedroom and meditated to clear her mind. It helped her a lot and she never was the one to argue anyways. She always prefered to calm down and talk. Damiano loved how down to earth Lea was. Whenever they had a worse moment, she held his hands, stroking them gently and said: What’s bothering you, love? Let’s talk about it.

Those little moments felt like big steps until it all crashed.

One day Lea made the most important and the hardest decision. She bought a ticket to London and told Damiano that she’s leaving Italy. He tried to turn it into a joke at first but then he realized that she was serious.

What do you mean you’re leaving Italy? He asked her confused, giving her a look full of fear. He didn’t want to loose her. She was his soulmate and loosing her would mean loosing a part of him.

Baby, I want to travel, chase my dreams. There are so many opportunities waiting for me, I want to go and be happy. Her face lit up and passion in her voice made Damiano frown.

So you’re not happy with me, huh? He said and his eyes turned black. He was angry. How could she ever think of leaving him and moving to UK? Her place was next to him, in Italy.

Dami, it’s not about you. I just..

You just what? You want to leave me here alone and sacrifice everything we have! He screamed and Lea, not aware of his sudden outburst, shivered.

I’m not breaking up with you. But you have to understand, I can’t spend my whole life here, only looking at you succeed. As much as I love you and as much as I’m happy about your carrier, I want to do it for myself, I want to achieve something, be successful. I’m doing this to show myself that I’m worthy. She said and her eyes filled with tears.

Well then, I guess it’s over for us. I can’t do long distance. He said letting down his head.

So you don’t even want to try? You don’t want to put some effort and make our relationship work? Her cheeks were now wet from the tears. She looked at him full of sadness and disappointment.

You just chose.

Alright then, goodbye Damiano.

That’s when they’ve seen each other for the last time.

Since then Lea lived in London. The weather there wasn’t as amazing as in Italy but Lea found herself amazed with british culture. The people there were kind, saying thank you and I’m sorry with every occasion possible. They were helpful too. Whenever Lea entered a bookstore or coffee shop, people seemed to be willing to help with anything you’d ask them for. She felt like she could get friends with everyone there which didn’t make her feel so lonely. After a month of wandering around and gettin to know the country a little more, Lea joined a local designer house and started her career as a fashion designer and consultant. There she met Steph - her spirit guide as she used to say all the time. They started designing together and their work found its popularity around London soon after. Lea finally felt like it was her place and she for sure didn’t want to leave. Ever.

After three years she’s gotten an invitation for Alex’s wedding in Florence. Since he was like a brother to her she decided to visit her home country but soon after she got a call from him. Damiano called her at 2 am in the morning, waking her up and saying that they should meet once she arrives. At first she was shocked. They broke up on not such good terms but the truth was none of them stopped loving the other.

Damiano through all this time wrote songs about Lea. He knew that if he’d tried even a little then maybe their relationship would work. But he was a coward. He couldn’t stand a fact of long distance, being together but apart at the same time, so he decided to shut up and all his braveness vanished. His lyrics were deep and sad, all of them about being lonely, breakup and sadness. Vic, Thomas an Ethan tried to talk to him but he always shut them off, saying that he’s fine and that they shouldn’t worry. After a while he seemed to move on but when Alex called him with a wedding invitation, saying that Lea confirmed her attendance, his heart stopped. He decided to call her.

Damiano, its 2 am in the morning. What is so important you want to tell me at such a time? Lea answered her phone with a sleepy voice.

I heard you’re attending Alex’s wedding and i just.. wanted to call you to ask what are you getting them as a gift. Damiano lied which was obvious even to Lea.

For a gift? Are you out of your mind? You call me at 2 am just to ask me for a fucking gift? She said shocked at her own tone.

I uhm.. i think we should meet. You know, once you arrive. He said and brushed his hair with his palm.

We will meet at the wedding. She said harshly.

No Lea, i meant meet before the wedding. To talk.

What do you wanna talk about?

Us? He said, not being sure of her response.

Us? You want to talk about us Damiano? You said yourself you don’t want long distance and now after 3 years you want to talk about us? If it wasn’t Alex’s wedding, I’m sure you wouldn’t have called. Lea said and she was about to hang up but Damiano stopped her.

But I love you. Damiano’s words stuck in her mind making it repeat them over and over again. I’ve never stopped.

For good 5 minutes there was a silence that Lea didn’t want to break. Shock was an understatement. Of course, she hadn’t stopped loving him either but he said that out of the blue and she didn’t know exactly what to say.

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.. Damiano started but was interrupted.

No, it’s okey. I just.. It’s not a conversation we should be having through the phone. She said quietly and soon after they ended their call.

And now he was standing in front of her. Dressed all in black, his hair longer than Lea has remembered and even more handsome than she saw him last time. She noticed that his jawline was more sharp and on his face she saw a slight beard.

Damiano also noticed some changes. Lea wasn’t wearing glasses like before, her hair were a lighter color than the brown hazelnut tone he loved so much but she looked really good.

Long time no see. Damiano said and a slight smile appeared on his face.

Yeah, long time indeed. She said squeezing tighter a handle of her suitcase.

They stood like this for what felt like forever when suddenly Lea felt Damiano’s arms wrapping around her tightly and pulling her closer for a warm hug. It truly felt like home. His scent of cologne mixed with cigarettes and his fingers gently stroking her back, his face buried in a crock of her neck and lips dangerously close to her skin. Lea felt his breath on her neck and sighed wrapping her arms around his torso, giving back the hug.

I missed you so much. Damiano whispered and Lea’s eyes started getting watery.

She missed him too but never wanted to admit it. Not after he decided to end this relationship because he didn’t have the courage to try and make it work from a distance.

Not long after she felt Damiano’s warm lips on hers. She didn’t expect it all and surprised but pleased with such sudden interaction she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. The kiss was sweet, full of love and missing each other but they both enjoyed it more than they both expected. After a while they pulled away, looking into each other’s eyes.

I know we have a lot to figure out and a lot to talk through but I’ve never stopped loving you. Please forgive me. Damiano said stroking Lea’s cheek with his thumb.

I loved you for all this time apart. Lea said and they both smiled at each other.

It didn’t matter for them that they were standing in each other’s embrace in the middle of the airport. What really mattered to them was that they found their way back to each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello everyone! I’m back and I just want to explain myself that I was on vacation in London so that’s the reason of my absence. Expect some London inspired content.

ALSOOO I JUST WANTED TO THANK FOR 100 FOLLOWERS! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! ❤️

That one is not as good but i hope you enjoy it! ❤️🥰

Requests opened.

Tag list: [ @teenyweenynightghost , @superchrystaldrug , @unitermoonshine ]

[ruegracieuse]

browsing a library (I don't have bookstore money! i do love to just browse a bookstore but i can't impulse buy a 20 dollar book rip i respect and admire those who do though) and reading pages at random is SO much fun. i have a lot of sympathy for people who struggle to read bc of disability issues because i also have that struggle but ITA that if you can read the Best of TikTok you can read anything!

[cont.] tacking onto this - i'm not immune to materialism and sigh over book "shelfies" full of gorgeous and often LE covers of social media popular books but there is something so sterile about well-organized bookshelves with perfectly chosen knickknacks populated solely by gorgeous, popular hardcover editions. i try to buy beautiful editions of books i love but inevitably if you love books you'll have some ugly books bc they didn't get a fancy cover or you haven't bought one or you cleaned out a 50 cent book sale.

First of all you're so right about libraries - I should've been more inclusive and mentioned them as well! Where I grew up our libraries were just okay but our secondhand bookshops were so great (we actually didn't have any full-price bookstores in town until I was well into high school) so I always underestimate the average price of shopping for books (and have been sorely hit by this since living in various big cities with big new bookstores). But everyone should support their libraries and you can definitely have the same (honestly, better) browsing experience in a library!

And speaking of inclusivity - I also deeply sympathise with people with disability or who for any reason struggle with reading. I actually read a really interesting post right after reblogging that bookshelf post talking about people who can't read a lot due to disability, and how alienating it can be when their experiences are used as an excuse for not reading in general, and not reading widely. It's not my place to comment on that, but definitely an interesting perspective.

I 100% agree with you - if you can read the best of tiktok, you can definitely read a book you've taken some time to discover yourself, in a library or at a store or by browsing a friend's bookshelf or even by enjoying a film that was based on it, or however else. These are such organic ways to discover a book that you're so much more likely to enjoy, that are going to resonate with you on a personal level, rather than through booktok or bookstagram or some other hashtag-driven social media niche that is designed to church as many people as possible through buying and reading and posting about the book and buying whatever else this publisher/author/influencer releases next. There's a post going around about the 'sigma grindset' approach to reading and I think it absolutely applies here, it's about consuming rather than experiencing or enjoying or being genuinely challenged or moved by a book. Really enjoying a piece of art (including nonfiction here because there's an art to it) takes time, and it doesn't necessarily leave you with an intense desire to go out and read/watch/see/consume something just like it right away. It sits with you. So while it's not antithetical to capitalism in that most people pay to read books or watch films or otherwise see art, it doesn't actively encourage and hasten the endless expenditure of money and social media attention and hype. I'm not saying that publishing companies that look after literary fiction or non-tiktok books aren't profit-driven world-swallowing monsters themselves, but there's a very specific flavour to this influencer-driven reading culture, which is all about getting you to spend money on what is usually pretty mediocre art. Boring ideas done boringly. It's like netflix, you're paying for 95% churned-out content most people would never want to watch without a gun to your head and maybe 5% of things you'll get something out of.

And all this is to say that I can absolutely also fall for pretty 'shelfies' (and, although it's a little unrelated, pretty study images - I'm such a sucker for that) and I am in general very fascinated by how people decorate themselves and their spaces and especially how they store and present their books. But recently even the trends around bookshelf pictures have become very flat and bland to me - everyone seems to have their books colour-coordinated in a hyper-curated spectrum, new white shelves, maybe one or two little plants... I like the pictures that show a little personality, and to have personality you may need to buy.... an ugly book (horror). If I actually walked into someone's house and they had the rainbow bookshelf out there I think I really would become the Goofy Damn Bitch You Live Like This? meme. I'm afraid if you really want to enjoy reading you must submit yourself to the mortifying ordeal of buying a secondhand 1992 copy of a book with the movie poster for the cover, or with the thick plastic cover on it because you got it from a library cleanout sale, or with a weird stock image or just a bland white and cracked spine. My local uni growing up does a huge sale of all the books they cleaned out from all their libraries once a year and they arealways such a great mix of old classics for really cheap with great weird old covers and theory/textbooks on geology and natural history illustration (two things the uni was famous for). They were so much fun, and the thought that you wouldn't go to something like that or the Lifeline Book Fair (or equivalent) or the library or a secondhand bookshop because the books wouldn't be pristine and designed according to a trend that will look dated in 2 years maximum is so sad... like you've got living life all wrong... but there's still hope...

[friendofhayley]

I’m back after my hiatus from fanfiction, to give y’all the best multifandom recs of the fics I read this month. Shoutout to all content creators who helped us live to see the close of this year. This fic includes 15 fics for Sterek, Larry, Winteriron, and Geraskier. The starred ones put me through heaven and hell *chef’s kiss*.

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

1. Six Letter Word for Romance by @troubleiwant | domestic kink - omg there’s only one bed - soft Derek - oblivious idiots in love - 6k

Stiles definitely starts off thinking it’s fucking hilarious that Derek-sourwolf-Hale does crosswords and cares about scuffs on his furniture.

But at a certain point, and he can’t pinpoint exactly when, “fully functional adult couple” somehow becomes a massive fetish of his. Derek in sweats and bare feet, nudging his glasses up his nose while he does the Sunday crossword? Unff. Derek filling out forms to get some renovations on his property approved? Oh God, yes. Derek putting away groceries and bitching that the corner store was out of the right type of Greek yogurt? Take me now, Stiles thinks, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth.

This can’t be normal.

2. *Dirty Little Secret* by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | Cora & Stiles bffs - no one can resist the Stilinski charm - celebrity Derek - human au - 91k

“Holy shit, this is a date!” he blurted out, turning back to Derek wide-eyed. “This is a date! You intended for this to be a date, this was supposed to be a date!” He figured if he said it enough times, maybe he would believe it, but so far, no dice.

Derek was scowling again—seriously, did he want wrinkles?—but he just reached into one of the bags and pulled out a burger, checking what was written on the foil in sharpie before handing it over to Stiles.

“Of course it’s a date, what did you think this was?”

3. Can You Feel A Whole New Part of Your World? by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | i genuinely don’t look at authors names i just click i am sorry for spamming you but you write too good - neighbors Sterek - emotionally mature Stiles - the ideal fluffy world you’d want to live in - 53k

Can you hear me singing in the shower?” Stiles blurted out, because he had to know, now. If one of his neighbours had slid that note under his door, then it meant Parrish as another neighbour could hear him, too! He had to know if this was all a huge joke and one person had walked by and overheard him and decided to fuck with him.

Parrish gave him a weird look at the question, but answered anyway, making Stiles’ plans to leave the country speed up in his mind.

“Of course I can. You’re actually not bad. Though you have been singing a lot of Frozen lately, getting kind of tired of the soundtrack.”

4. Theory of Overprotective Canines by @petals42 | derek can turn into wolf - oblivious Stiles - future fic - mutual pining - 11k

Stiles is totally looking forward to living alone in his super cool apartment off-campus. He is. He is also very excited to bike to school every day, ready to set up an awesome game room, and definitely over his crush on Derek Hale. Completely over it.

Or at least he is until Derek decides he's moving in with him. And then turns out to be the perfect roommate. And then starts attending all his classes. As a wolf.

This is not going according to plan.

Larry (One Direction)

5. **The Changer and the Changed** by @homosociallyyours | literally the best fic of all time i want to live in there - girl direction - NYC ‘70s au - trans Zayn - the girls are so lovely - 59k

It’s the spring of 1977 and Harry Styles has just moved to New York City after graduating college. She knows she’s a lesbian. She just needs to figure out how to meet other lesbians.

Louis Tomlinson works at a popular women’s bookstore in the Lower East Side, Womon’s Direction, where she spends her days reading feminist literature, writing poetry, exchanging friendly barbs with her boss Niall, and dreaming of finding someone to love.

When Harry and Louis meet, their connection is instantaneous. Slowly but surely, Louis welcomes Harry into her community of women. Stonewall veteran and old school butch Niall; Liam, a land dyke who’s moved to the city for love; and Zayn, a lesbian musician who’s been ostracized by a vocal part of women’s community for being trans, welcome Harry with open arms, ready to help her find her place in New York City’s bustling lesbian scene.

6. others i’ve seen might never be mean (but they would never do) by @cherrylouvol6 | aaaaaaaa it’s lesbian When Harry Met Sally !!! - rom com - girl direction - coming out and first times - really great sex - 20k

Louis sighs.

“Do you remember what I said to you the first time we met?”

“That I’m naive and neurotic and would be hard pressed to ever find someone who could put up with me?” Harry snaps.

7. some things fade (some never do) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed | aaaaaa this story took me apart and back together again just like Louis and Harry - urban fantasy au - second chances - exes to friends to lovers - hurt/comfort - 25k

Matching tattoos. He’d never thought he’d be the type for tattoos to begin with, let alone matching or magical ones, but once Harry had put the idea in his mind it had never quite managed to disappear. And it had made sense. With their relationship a long distance one, this was simply another way of feeling close to one another. Of knowing where the other was, how they felt. It had made so much sense.

Back then.

8. we can take the long way home by @eleadore | i usually don’t rec my porn but there’s so much feels in this one - canon-divergent - kink discovery - friends to lovers - this was written in 2015 as a future fic but it felt like it was taking place now so good job - 27k

“Fertile,” Louis says, and then laughs because it sounds stupid to say out loud. He hasn’t ever really thought of himself in those terms. Baby-making terms. It’s just one of those things his body can do, like exercise, or go without tea. Doesn’t mean he will.

Winteriron (MCU)

9. **Dig No Graves** by @missaphelion | Tony finds out about his parents right after winter soldier au - Tony Stark has a heart - Bucky heals with bots and lots of sugar - slow burn - 142k

"I'm here to kill you, Terminator," Tony said slowly, "does that compute?"

The soldier looked up at him with wide blue eyes and no expression. "Okay."

Tony froze. "Okay," he echoed. "I tell you I came here to kill you and your response is 'okay'?"

10. A Rifling Matter by Penndragon27 | Winter Soldier has such a big crush on Tony’s weapons, he escapes Hydra au - identity porn - pining Bucky - fluff and angst - Winter Soldier is a fanboy and it’s cute - 37k

All the Asset knows is fighting, killing.

He also knows a good weapon when he sees one and Stark Industries... they make some great weapons.

11. *Winter is Coming (aka Fifty First Avengers Dates)* by @tisfan & @everyworldneedslove | enemies to friends to lovers to 50 first dates - pining Bucky - Tony gets amnesia - no Steve bashing but he’s a little bit of an ass - mental health issues - 109k

Bucky Barnes is still mostly The Asset, and he's pretty sure Hydra is going to come back for him soon, so in the meantime he's just going to keep an eye on the Avengers for them. But then Clint spotted him hiding in the shadows, so Tony came out and dragged Bucky back to the Tower, threw him in the shower, and fed him cheeseburgers.

Now The Asset is having anomalous feelings. In his pants.

Geraskier (The Witcher)

12. *no reason to run* by @yoursummerfrost | different meeting au - only one bed but camping - cursed Jaskier - soft Geralt!!!! - poly negotiations - 61k

"You'll change your mind one day," says the innkeep. "The road can't love you back."

What a strange way to flatten something so beautiful, Jaskier thinks. What a small way to love.

13. *He Fell into a Faerie Ring* by @geraltnoises | Jaskier gets bardnapped after the fight au - non-human Jaskier - soft Geralt - Jaskier encourages people to be kind and becomes a god - emotionally mature Geralt - 57k

Traders are a gossiping sort. If there was a scandal within the noble houses of Posada, you’d hear about it in Cretegor by the end of the week. So, the quick spread of a rumor about a little village in the Kestrel Mountain range was not at all surprising. What was surprising was the story that the traders wove. They said that Luibhtorrach, a sad, ghost of a farming town, had miraculously become a hub for trade, as if overnight. Their lands unbelievably fertile and brimming with crop. Even stranger, each and every one of Luibhtorrach’s people professed that their good fortune was the work of a mysterious beast they’d claimed as their personal deity. Most recent news foretold of their plans to throw a midsummer festival celebrating this newfound god. In preparation, silken blue banners were erected in every corner of the town, each bearing the symbol of their new patron: A delicate dandelion wrapping around a golden sun.

14. Barking Up the Wrong Tree by KHansen | 5+1 things - I’m worried about Geralt’s skills - non-human Jaskier - monsterfucker Geralt - crack treated seriously - 11k

Geralt is 100% certain that Jaskier is a vampire.

He's 100% proven wrong.

15. Bardic Idyll by Lisztful | fake relationship - Geralt is soft and oblivious - pining - fluff and angst - Jaskier you can’t show your emotions mainly through song! - 13k

Jaskier is certain he can win the Continent's annual bardic competition, but he needs to be accompanied by a dashing romantic companion in order to enter. Enter Geralt, who is definitely, for sure, only interested in the free food, and not at all in staring lovingly into Jaskier's eyes.

[charming-2d-boys]

Adultrio with children (Illumi Version)

By the way, this one’s veeeery long, but I had too much fun 😅

You have been warned!

so, despite the usual push from the family for more future little assassins, Illumi isn’t really that thrilled by the idea

he seems like the type of person whose eyes and actions don’t really stray when he’s outside, especially on a mission or errand, whether personal or professional

that being said, the most likely way you’re going to meet Illumi is through others, whether that someone is Hisoka or his own family (but he doesn’t really trust Hisoka’s judgment when it comes to introducing someone to him, especially with the intent of getting together)

so, the family is the only viable option of meeting

Zeno is the one who comes up with a new option after several failed ones brought up by Silva and Kikyo

you, the granddaughter of an old friend and former partner of his, who used to be in charge of gathering information on the targets (not really a partner per se, but they participated in several missions together and became friends over the years)

smart, cute, close in age to Illumi and seemingly a lot more… empathetic and emotional-looking than our dear pincushion boy (who isn’t, though?)

Illumi is told about this and despite being asked for his opinion, it’s already decided nonetheless

unlike all the other candidates who were all asked - more like forced - into meeting formally and at the Zoldyck estate, you insist on meeting in a more casual place and fashion

Illumi, along with Kikyo, remain a bit shocked - Kikyo more than him because the audacity, but also the courage~

Silva doesn’t really care as long as they meet and Zeno laughs because he was expecting this from all the stories about you and your stubbornness and actions throughout the years that he heard from your grandfather

and it is settled: meeting in a quaint, little cat café in the town nearby, a little bit before lunch, no one else from your families except the two of you - coming with the promise that if you saw/sensed anyone keeping an eye on you two, you’d leave immediately and refuse any sort of contact from the family (again, shock because not many get to demand anything from the Zoldycks, but it seems that they already have a good feeling about you)

Illumi dresses up in some casual clothes (still with the flame pattern 🙄) and heads out, getting a pat on the back from Zeno and a good luck

when he enters the establishment and looks around, he sees you, next to a bookcase, with a very big and fluffy peach-coloured cat in your lap, both relaxed and watching the others around you

your eyes lock with Illumi’s when you sense his aura and you smile, beckoning him closer - cue Illumi raising an eyebrow because you’re not getting up to greet him and that’s rude, but he understands when you explain that you had to coax that cat with food and headpats for like 5 minutes until it stayed in your lap

so, he sits down next to you, petting the cat in your lap when its large, round, green eyes stare at him and next thing you know, you’ve got almost half of the other cats in the café flocking to Illumi, sitting on his lap and around him and purring loudly

the other customers can only stare, too afraid of his expressionless face to complain and when they see that the cats aren’t leaving him and returning to them, they’re slowly trickling out of the café until it's only the two of you (one of the staff members, who was apparently pushed by the other to come and talk to you, is quickly told, by you, that you’ll pay more by the end of the day to cover whatever losses they might acquire from the lack of clients, which makes them leave you two hurriedly)

you can only laugh when he stares at the cats and the empty room, then at you, almost clueless as to why you’re laughing

but you start talking and discover that you really like spending time with him

you talk about your families, your dreams, because he says that he doesn’t have any (liar), friends (again, liar) etc.

you really like that he cares about his family, even if it’s a bit twisted (good intentions, bad plan, especially when it comes to Killua)

since he was forced by his family to respect the tradition and become an assassin, he’s surprised when he finds out that despite the possibility of following the family tradition, you’re also allowed to make your own decisions, as long as you talk about them with your family

something that amuses you a lot is when Illumi receives a message from someone called Pain-in-the-Ass Clown, saying How’s your date going, Illumi-chan?  ⭐ ￣ ∀ ￣ 💧

and he explains that it’s someone really annoying who always bothers him

So, not your friend?

Never.

anyway, that was one of the first of many dates, with Illumi almost always letting you choose, mostly because you knew he’d choose some really fancy place and you wanted to have fun with him and get to know him naturally

despite his lack of expressions, he is having fun and likes that you’re happy (appreciates the fact that you are so... lively, you’re like complete opposites and apparently fit like two puzzle pieces)

Zeno is the one who pretty much declares that you’re the OTP

one of your dates definitely consisted in the two of you going on a mission together, just to see how you’d get along in a professional situation

100/10, no dilly-dally, professional from the beginning to the end of the mission, but you laughed and teased Illumi about how serious he was - as if it was just another normal day of meeting up after work... not after killing someone

the marriage proposal is more and more prominent in Illumi’s head and the rest of the Zoldycks and he’s wracking his brain trying to think of how to ask you

the two of you have bought an apartment and moved in to get used to living together and it’s going pretty well (definitely took a bit of convincing to get Illumi to agree, but he feels so human and happy with you that he just can’t say no and even his mother likes you, somewhat)

some nights are spent inside, watching movies, playing board games (he beats you here), video games (Illumi sucks at those) or cooking (he’s mostly watching and trying to remember everything, but man, too much work, he’s used to his butlers), while others involve you two going to bookstores, cafes, the zoo, even concerts/festivals

so, he decides on something that he read about on the holy Internet: Illumi had gone out that day and told you he’d come by later, but he actually bought you a puppy, who, as soon as it was put down, ran into the house when you squealed and picked it up to nuzzle it while it licked your face and wagged its tail; your fingers felt something on its collar and when you saw a ring, you froze, looking at Illumi without saying a word

he slowly approached you, face as expressionless as always (but he was so, SO nervous) and took the ring off the collar, getting on one knee and saying that you’ve made him feel happier and more human during those few months with you than he’s ever felt in all those years and he hopes that you’ll be willing to share your life with him and allow him to make sure you’ll always feel happy and loved

cue the tears because Illumi’s never said so many heartfelt words in one day and you’d be a monster to say no and extinguish that little sparkle of happiness in his eyes

so you put your puppy down and hug him tightly, kissing his face until he actually cracks a smile when the puppy whines because it wants your attention too

the wedding? Beautiful.

you? Gorgeous.

Illumi? He’s never been happier in his entire life

Hisoka cries at the wedding and is chosen as his best-man, along with Illumi’s brothers (even Killua accepted, especially after noticing the positive change you brought in the family and Illumi)

Alluka is your maid of honour along with Kalluto, because those two are attracted to you like moths to a flame

the reception is memorable, with various friends and family members congratulating you two and wishing you a long and happy marriage

things settle down a bit for a few weeks afterwards, especially after the honeymoon (which was spent somewhere where you could both enjoy some private time away from everyone as a newlywed couple)

and the biggest surprise was finding out that you’re pregnant (lucky~, that’s what Hisoka said when you texted him because yeah, you remained friends, somehow)

Illumi actually hugged you when you told him and kissed you because he was ecstatic

you definitely sat him down and told him that you need to talk with his family so they don’t get any ideas about torturing your child or children since you want them to have a normal, happy childhood

while a bit against it because that’s how he and all his siblings were raised, he definitely understands that it’s not only his decision to make and that he actually doesn’t really want anyone to go through what they did (especially after seeing that yes, even without training like his you can still be powerful and smart and somehow, his)

so, he agrees and tells the rest of the family (Zeno knew what your thoughts would be and never said anything, while Kikyo would probably be on the verge of having a stroke and Silva wouldn’t really care because they have Killua)

they can’t do much in terms of making you accept, especially because you don’t live at the estate and Illumi is loyal to his family, but now he’s got his own and he chooses you and your baby in the end

despite a few arguments with the Zoldycks, *cough* Kikyo *cough*, you still have the support of pretty much everyone else in the family and your own, so you actually can support yourselves just fine

Illumi insists on going shopping for baby clothes with you and is already looking at the variety of toys (he’s not gonna admit that he can’t wait to play with them when he’s spending time with his child because he wasn’t really allowed to have many toys or play with them so they wouldn’t make him stray from his path as an assassin)

likes talking to the baby bump and even sings to it (he’s got a beautiful singing voice and the baby always kicks when he sings something they like, which Illumi always take into account)

protective as hell whenever you’re out and about together and pretty much never lets you leave alone until you have a small argument that you can take care of yourself, after which he lets you be, but still insists on being called once an hour just to make sure and to have his heart put at ease

doesn’t even want to think about your weird craving because eww, some of them are gross (you know it, he knows it, the baby doesn’t care and when you’re hungry, neither do you)

will be there when you’re giving birth because he just wants to meet the baby faster and when he does, he smiles because there they are, his little bundle of joy

just stands and is fascinated by how small the baby is and how cute and squishy they look

it’s a girl, btw

almost always tells you to go to sleep when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, especially because he can’t really sleep and he’s too happy and excited, plus he knows how tired you are

the baby’s first words are definitely dada and her little hands were just desperately reaching out to him (you practised with her whenever you could because you know how enamoured he is with his little girl)

Illumi actually breathed in deeply so he wouldn’t feel like crying anymore and just hugged you both while your daughter was patting his cheek

she inherits his long, black hair and they both spend the most amount of time in the bathroom taking care of it and brushing it

you’re the only one allowed to touch and braid their hair

she definitely likes all her uncles and aunts because they’re all so nice and doting and funny (Hisoka and Killua), while great-grandpa Zeno spoils her rotten

yes, Silva and Kikyo love her a lot as well, but inside they still want her to follow into their footsteps

you laugh at Illumi’s surprised face when your daughter asks you two for a brother or sister

oh boy... he’s gonna die from the cuteness and joy all these babies of yours are going to bring him

THAT was a lot, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

[alovesongshewrote]

For the requests, can you do Douxie x reader where the reader gets a job at the bookshop and conveniently forgets their sweater at work so Douxie has to lend them his hoodie 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Sweater | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot:  haha, sweater go brrrrrrrrr

Word Count: 1,946

Warnings:  Folding chairs and spiders

A/N:   Idk what this is, but i hope you enjoy it

Tag List: @furblrwurblr

You had always wanted to work at a bookstore.

Ever since you were an angsty twelve-year-old who only found solace in books, it had been your dream to work amongst the written word.  Too bad Chapters had shitty hours.

That didn’t matter now, though.  GDT Arcane Books had excellent hours, a positive work environment, and the nicest couches to ever exist.  They also had a painting of Guillermo del Toro.  You weren’t sure why, but you loved it anyway.  There was only one thing about the small bookstore that you loved more than the Del Toro painting, which is saying a lot, that painting was amazing.

Your coworker, Hisirdoux Casperan, was very quickly becoming your favourite human being in the entire world.  He was sweet, selfless, and he cared about other people.  He made you laugh more than anyone else, and he was there for you when you were stressed or anxious.  Also, he had a cat.  I don’t even need to tell you that cats are amazing.

The bookstore was the perfect place, and it only got better as the seasons changed.  Fall in Arcadia was beautiful, fall in Arcadia in a bookstore was even better.  GDT began to feel like a second home to you, so much, in fact, that you developed the habit of leaving things at work.  It wasn’t your fault, things like this happen sometimes, and that’s okay.  As long as you don’t forget anything too important, you should survive.

And then you forgot something important.  

It wasn’t anything major like your wallet, but it was necessary to keep you warm in the cool weather, especially at night.

And it was night.  And it was cold.  And your favourite sweater was still in the bookstore.  And you hadn’t realized until Douxie had locked the doors and you’d both gone your separate ways.

In short, you were a little bit screwed.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, shivering slightly.  This was fine.  Totally fine.  As fine as a dog drinking coffee in a burning room.  The wind blew, shaking the branches on the trees and raising goosebumps on your skin.  Lovely.

You braced yourself against the breeze, trudging forward, determined to make it home and have a hot cup of tea.  

And then you heard a trash can fall over.  Extra lovely.

The last thing you wanted was to deal with a Goblin or Shadow Mephit or something.  You walked faster.  There was another, louder crash behind you.  You sped up again.  You were not dealing with this tonight.

There was more noise from behind you, the universe clearly disregarding your wishes for a calm night.  At this point, you were running.  There was a limit to how much crap you could put up with, and it was a limit you were fast approaching.  

Then Douxie flew into your side, bringing both of you to the ground.

“Douxie!?”

“(Y/N)!?”  

Whatever had thrown Douxie at you roared from the alley.  You couldn’t see it, but you could tell that it wasn’t anything good.

“You have to run,”  your coworker said, getting to his feet and offering you a hand up.

“What?  No, I’m not leaving you-”

“I’ll be okay, (Y/N), but you need to get out of here!”

Even if you wanted to, you didn’t have time to get out of there.  What appeared to be a large stone spider emerged from the space between buildings.  How this thing didn’t wake up the whole neighbourhood, you had no idea, and you couldn’t stop to think of one because the arachnid was now attacking.  Douxie stood in front of you, shielding you with his body, and some kind of blue forcefield.  

“(Y/N), GO!”

You ran, but you didn’t go home.  Instead, you searched for something to fight with.  

Monsters and magic were not a new concept to you, not when you lived in Arcadia.  You’d gone through whatever the hell that troll-thing was, an alien attack, and several other crap-tastic world-ending events.  This was just one monster, and you had Douxie, who was apparently a wizard on your side.  This was not the problem you were expecting or even a problem you wanted, but it was one you could handle.

It took a minute of searching, but eventually, you found the perfect weapon.  Someone had left a folding chair outside.  It may not be an enchanted sword, or a serrator, or a gun, but folding chairs had done wonders for you during the troll-hell, and you figured it would work for you now.

You grabbed the chair and rejoined the fray.

Douxie was not pleased to see this.  He really liked you.  You were sweet, snarky and charming, and he really liked all of your quirks.  He enjoyed your company and wanted to spend more time with you.  He knew you were a strong person, and that you could take care of yourself, but he was really hoping that you wouldn’t have to deal with this.  He knew it would kill him if anything bad happened to you.

But you lived in Arcadia, where bad things always happened, and you knew how to deal with this.

“EAT CHAIR, PUNK!”  you yelled, bringing the chair down on whatever part of the spider you could reach.  This didn’t make the spider happy, but you were able to avoid any and all attacks while repeatedly bashing the thing with your folding chair.

The wizard was at a loss for words.  

While he wanted you to run home, he knew there was a high chance that you would stay, and a higher chance that you would stay and try to help him.  The chair, however, had not been a part of these calculations, so all he could do was stare and watch as you kicked this thing’s ass.  No one could blame him, it was very impressive and very attractive.

And kick-ass you did.  You dodged attacks and landed hits, your folding chair proving to be as useful as ever.  Eventually, you managed to wedge your weapon between the pincers of the arachnid, distracting it momentarily.

“Douxie!  Now!”

Douxie snapped from his haze at the sound of your voice.  He sent a wave of magic at the thing before opening the gate to limbo underneath it.  You and Douxie were left staring at the ground where the thing had fallen through.

“Nice one,”

“Thanks,”  the situation set in for both of you.

“Hey, wait a minute, what was that?”

“Oh, fuzzbuckets, are you okay?”

The two of you hesitated for a moment, held at a stalemate.  You wanted answers, he wanted to know if you were alright.

You took this time to take in details you hadn’t noticed while beating up the stone spider.  Douxie had some kind of band or cuff on his wrist.  You had never seen that before despite working with him for a few months now.  It was new.  And it was pretty cool if you were telling the truth.

While you examined the cuff from where you stood, Douxie noticed that you were unharmed, but shivering slightly.  You didn’t have your sweater on.

“Aren’t you cold?”

The question knocked you out of your thoughts, but fortunately, you were focused enough to answer, “Oh, uh, yeah, I forgot my sweater back at the bookstore,”

“Oh,”

Without another word, Douxie took off his hoodie, walked over to you and wrapped it around your shoulders.

“There you go, that should warm you up,”

You gingerly grabbed the edges of the hoodie, wrapping it tightly around your shaking frame.  He was right, it did warm you up, but as your eyes ran over the tattoos on Douxie’s shoulders, you thought of a few more ways he could help you achieve that goal.

“Thank you,”

“Of course, love,”

The wind blew by again.  It wasn’t so bad this time.

Then you realized how late it was.

“Oh, god, I should be getting home, I-”

“Let me walk you,”

“Are you sure?”

“(Y/N), I know you can defend yourself,”  he cast a cautious glance towards the discarded folding chair, “But it would make me feel a lot better to know you got home safe,”

Your cheeks warmed at the sentiment.  It was nice to be cared about.

“Ok.  Come on, I’m this way,”

The walk started off in silence.

Douxie’s hoodie was soft.  His tattoos were really nice.  It was still kinda cold, but Douxie showed no signs of feeling the temperature.  

But it was too quiet.  You needed to talk about this.

“Hey, Doux?  You mind telling me what that thing was?”

The wizard sucked in a deep breath, “To be honest, I don’t know yet.  I’m still figuring that one out,”

“Huh,”  you supposed that was a valid answer, “Let me know when you do,”

Douxie smiled for a moment.  He told you that you’d be the first to know.  Then his face fell.  He almost looked scared, but there was nothing around you to be scared of.  You were a bit confused, but your attention stayed on Douxie.

“(Y/N), until this is all sorted out, could you avoid going out after dark?  I don’t want you getting hurt,”

That was a bit of an understatement.  If you got hurt at all, it would kill him.  If you got hurt by something he could have protected you from, it would destroy him.

“I’ll do my best, but you know I get off from work late,”

“Then I’ll walk you home,”

“I’d like that,”

You were a bit surprised by how determined he was to keep you safe.  It was really nice to have someone watching out for you for a change.  It made you feel warm on the inside.  

After that, the conversation turned to normal things.  Music, books, anything other than stone monsters with no name.  Douxie did ask where you learned to wield a folding chair, but some things are best left to the imagination.

You were actually sad when your house came into view, something you never thought possible.  You’d been enjoying your time with Douxie so much, you didn’t want it to end.  Unfortunately, you did not control the universe.

“Well, this is me,” you took off the hoodie, which was also a sad event.  You held it out for Douxie to take, “Here-”

“Hang onto it,” the wizard said, taking your hands under the hoodie for a moment, “At least until you get your sweater back,”

You both pulled away, blushing, 100%.

“Thank you,”

“It’s no problem, really,”

There was another moment of silence.  You both had so much to say, but no idea how to say it.  

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,”

“Tomorrow,”

Douxie watched as you opened the door to your home, and stepped through the door.  A surge of energy ran through him.  He had to say something, anything, or he would regret it.

“(Y/N)?”

You spun around to face him faster than either of you thought possible, “Yes?”

Douxie paused.  He didn’t think he’d get that far, to be honest.  But you were watching him with anticipation, waiting for him to speak.

“Just… stay safe, okay?”  it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say, but it was close enough.

“I will if you do,”

The smile on your face was the best thing he’d seen all day.

He was so distracted by the curve of your lips that he didn’t even notice that you had moved to stand in front of him.

“Thanks again, Douxie,”  and with that, you left a small kiss on his cheek and entered your apartment, leaving Douxie a blushing mess on your doorstep.

“Douxie?  Are you alright?”

“I’m much better than alright, Arch,”

[musings-from-mars]

100 Shippy Drabble/Ficlet Prompts Ask Meme (plus a bonus at the end...)

Send a Number and a Ship to my ask box and I’ll write a short drabble! (All of these can be changed around for OT3+ ships as well)

One buys for the other(s)...

0. Nothing...when they should have (birthday, anniversary, etc.) 1. Flowers 2. Dinner 3. A cute new outfit 4. Candy 5. Something weird/funny 6. A swimsuit/underwear/something else 👀 7. An outfit that doesn’t fit 8. Something sentimental/meaningful 9. An engagement ring...

One takes the other(s) on a date to...

10. A fancy restaurant 11. The beach/pool 12. Laser tag 13. A haunted house 14. A hiking trail 15. A picnic 16. The mall 17. The middle of nowhere at night so all the stars are visible 18. A sporting event 19. The place they first met

One walks in on the other(s) while they are...

20. Rocking out to loud music in their underwear 21. Playing a video game (loudly) 22. Trying to get their pet to talk to them 23. Giving a fake award show acceptance speech in the mirror 24. Changing clothes 25. Wearing anime cosplay 26. Doing something on their laptop 27. Showering/bathing 28. Trying (and failing) to do their own hair/makeup 29. Trying on the other person’s clothes

One accidentally runs into the other(s) while...

30. At an anime convention 31. (One of) The other(s) is at work 32. Shopping for something embarrassing 33. In a police holding cell (they’ve both been arrested for separate reasons?) 34. At a bar/club 35. One is running late but the other is oblivious and wants to chat 36. At a party 37. At the gym 38. At a children’s movie showing (”I never grew up, okay?!”) 39. Driving (yes they accidentally crash into each other, they’re fine tho!)

One reacts to the other(s)...

40. Biggest secret 41. Embarrassing childhood story 42. Coming out 43. Saying “I love you” for the first time 44. Kissing them by surprise 45. Bringing home an unusual pet 46. Wearing something sexy 👀 47. Sending them the “I want a baby” text (can be joking or serious) 48. Admitting to crimes they’ve committed (can be humorous, or angsty) 49. Singing karaoke, badly

Cute Domestic Things

50. Doing chores together 51. Going grocery shopping together 52. Playing a board/video game 53. Cooking together 54. One patches up the other’s minor wound (and kisses it better...?) 55. “AAH! Spider!” 56. “I can’t find the remote!” (The other hid the remote to drive them crazy) 57. Rearranging heavy furniture 58. Playing practical jokes on each other 59. One brushing the other(s) hair

AU Things

60. Coffee Shop/Bookstore AU 61. High School/College AU 62. Romeo and Juliet AU (the forbidden lovers part, but without the dying maybe?) 63. Sports AU 64. Escape Room AU 65. Fantasy/Magic AU 66. Dystopian AU 67. Soulmate AU 68. Fake Dating AU 69. Make Up Your Own AU

First...

70. Meeting 71. Date 72. Hug 73. Fight (either an argument, or literal fighting as in enemies to lovers) 74. Kiss 75. Time spending the night together 76. Vacation together 77. Time seeing the other, or each other, naked 78. Time meeting the parents 79. Anniversary

Angst/Comfort Fuel

80. Caught in a lie 81. After being apart for too long 82. “I thought I lost you...” 83. One (or more) cares for the other while they’re sick/recovering 84. Broken heart (for whatever reason) and comfort afterward 85. “As long as I have you, it’ll be okay...” 86. Severely injured, the other(s) tries to help them 87. “Just in case we don’t make it out of here alive...” 88. Hurry to the airport/train station before the other leaves town forever 89. Rejected marriage proposal, “I do love you, I promise...but...”

Classic Tropes

90. There was only one bed 91. Huddling for warmth 92. Amnesia 93. Clueless mutual pining 94. Rehearsal date/one helping the other practice to ask someone else out, but... 95. Pull a Korrasami (subjects of a love triangle end up with each other) 96. Secret Admirer 97. Blind date 98. Sparring (with a steamy undertone) 99. Any Classic Trope you can think of!

THE NUCLEAR OPTION *dramatic music*

100. Write their break-up scene *evil laughter*

[allthingskakashi]

Heyy i just saw you enabled anon haha thank you for that, it does make it a tad more comfortable for us shy peeps. i really love how your blog is literally just Kakashi fluff it always makes me feel so good whenever i come here and well i saw your requests are open too soo can i please request some soft HCs for dates with Kakashi?? or just like being with him in general at his place, how he'd act and stuff to be w someone? thank you and ly

Hey OMG I’m such a dumbass lmao i literally figured out the whole anon thing a while ago haha I’m sorry, i totally feel you on the shy thing.  I’m so happy that my blog makes you feel good, having this blog is a big source of positivity for me too!

I got really excited about my first anon ask lmao and wrote this in like 20 mins,i hope it lives up to your expectations!

Dates with Kakashi / Being with him  HCs

Dates with Kakashi are gonna be low key, nothing extravagant or ott but you’ll love every minute of it

It’s mostly just the two of you chilling together and enjoying each other’s company. You’re so comfortable around each other that you don’t even necessarily have to be DOING something together. Just each other’s presence is soothing to you and that’s all you both need, no uncomfortable silences

Kakashi mostly prefers being alone with you in uncrowded places away from all the noise, or just cuddling with you at home, that’s literally all he wants

Mini dates involving just strolls around the town together

Kakashi won’t hold your hand in public but he’ll walk really close such that your bodies keep bumping

Will let you hold on to his arm though, he really likes it

He’ll sometimes keep one glove off and even keep his hands out of his pocket for a change, so that your hands lightly keep brushing against each other as you walk

He thinks he’s being so subtle and you won’t notice or realise but you do and you find it so cute??? And the fact that he’s trying to act subtle makes it x100 cuter

If you’re walking in a place away from people where he’s sure you’re alone like a forest or something though, he won’t shy away from gripping your hand in his

Will also rub his thumb over your hand and bring it up to his mouth to place a masked kiss on it, before giving you that cute smile of his

Picnic dates are the most common with Kakashi

The two of you lazing around under the shade of a tree on a pleasant day with a picnic basket;with Kakashi lying on your lap reading Icha Icha while you read your own book.

You both even have a special spot under a particular tree where you always go

Late night walks

He often walks around the village at night and visits the cemetery when he can’t sleep.

Notices the light of your bedroom window on one of his walks. He always likes to check to see if your lights are off because then he knows you’re okay and sleeping

But tonight you’re up cause something is bothering you and you can’t sleep either

*sudden tap on your window*

Uhm?? Kakashi???? Wtf? It’s 1??

“I noticed your light was on. Want to join me for a walk?”

That’s how your routine of going on night walks began and honestly, they feel so refreshing with the slightly chilly wind at night and the starry skies above you

These walks are also the ones where you both end up having the best convos cause you open up so much and talk about all kinds of things, things you might not be able to say during daylight

He’ll even share an ice cream stick with you even though he’s not a fan of sweets

Always walks you back home too and waits for you to wave at him from your window before leaving so that he knows you’re safe

Home dates!!!!

The two of you deciding to just stay in on a Saturday night. A few blankets, a bottle of sake, dim lights, home cooked meal by Kakashi, falling asleep on his chest while watching a movie = Heaven

You will often return home from a mission to this kinda treatment.

Will draw you a hot bath and give you massages cause your muscles are sore from everything

Holds you tight as you sleep, finally home to him

Kakashi LOVES to cook for you, he loves how happy it makes you and how much you love his food. He’s honestly the best cook

Will make you dinner and also breakfast in bed if you spend the night at his place

When he returns from his missions, he just wants a quiet night in with you without much fuss

Falls asleep on your lap as you stroke his hair

You surprise him by cooking for him once

Literally turns to a puddle cause…noone’s ever cooked for him, not since he was 5.

Tasting food made by someone else’s hand with so much love, just for him??? He’d almost cry. Won’t even care if it’s bad, he’ll eat it all and ask for seconds

You’d go out to eat once in a while but the both of you prefer the other’s cooking over anything else

Bookstore dates where the two of you spend hours browsing and buy like a 2 ft tall pile of books and then go home later and read for hours, cuddled up together, the both of you so engrossed that you forget it’s 3 am and you haven’t eaten dinner

You’re hungry as hell now so Ichiraku at 3 am

Will throw away everything and drag your ass to the theatre whenever any of his books turn into a movie lmfao and will fanboy over it and act like a dumbass

Who cares tho cause you’re just as big a dumbass as him and fangirling too

*KAKASHI BARGES INTO THE ROOM OPENING THE DOOR WITH A THUD*

“I GOT US TICKETS FOR THE LATEST ICHA ICHA MOVIE!!!!!”

“OMG WHATTT ?? WHEN?? NO WAY, GET OUTTA HERE AHHH SKJSKSKSK”

*both of you jumping together in joy like idiots*

In the beginning when you first start dating he’d be so awkward and shit at picking up hints and even if he does, he’ll overthink it a 100 times and not act upon anything

Which gets frustrating at times

KAKASHI ARE YOU GOING TO KISS ME OR NOT THIS WAS OUR 7TH DATE

Huh????

She…..wants to…kiss ME…?

I’m sorry but this guy will not initiate the first kiss with you unless you do, no matter how much he wants it. He literally questions whether all of this is real every single day. He’s also hella awkward and he’s never done this stuff before and he doesn’t wanna mess anything up so you gotta at least say something CLEARLY or make the first move

Once you do though…..it’s kisses kisses kisses all the time

No more hesitation after that, he just wants to pour all his love onto you and will literally kiss every part of you

For someone with no experience, he’s one hell of a kisser

Maybe on your anniversary you would go on a weekend getaway to a hot spring to celebrate but that probably wouldn’t be until he’s retired

[malikmata]

Notes from a Brown Boy - Kansas Diaries

*Author’s Note: Some people’s names have been changed to protect their identities

The rain was the first thing to greet me when I landed in Wichita. Overhead the gray clouds loomed, shadowing the farmland that yawned in the distance. Distance. At first glance, the city seemed like one long stretch of prairies and cracked parking lots, occasionally punctuated by billboards of grinning injury lawyers and lit up restaurant road signs.

If you spend enough time here amid the crumbling old buildings, watching the weeds sway in the vacant lots, you’ll feel the slow, inevitable creep of dread or something like it.

It’s easy to feel lonely here.

But, if you’re receptive enough, you’ll run into many friendly folks. Sometimes too friendly.

For example: During my first week, I went to Freddy’s, a local fast food chain, and ordered a crispy chicken sandwich with fries. The cashier, a young woman with glasses and short blonde hair, suddenly started confessing her fear that her 8-year old chihuahua wouldn’t live a long life.

“I still think of him as a teenager,” she said.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “He’s a chihuahua. They live long lives.”

Out here, in the most middle-of-the-road cities, you sometimes get a chance to show an act of passing kindness. While waiting in line at one of the hip, new cafes downtown, a place called Milkfloat, a tall elderly gentleman recommended which coffee and pastry to get.

“My wife says this place has the best cold brew in town.” Afterwards, grabbing his pastry and coffee, he wished me a good day. Most folks here always do and you better hope it comes true. Because here, like elsewhere, a day is filled with ordinary heartbreaks.

I will simply call her “Tita.” She works as a tailor at a department store, the only tailor working there, hemming and tapering racks full of suit pants under fluorescent lights. The nature of the job requires exact measurements and a keen eye for detail. She works hard, often skips lunch, and comes home dead tired. Her husband is recovering from 4 broken ribs after a car repair job went awry. Nothing can be done but wait until he gets better.

They live in a languid suburb on Wichita’s east side, a street with few sidewalks but plenty of lawn.

And noise. Plenty of noise. The neighborhood sits next to a car dealership. The skies overhead rumble continuously with airplanes and thunderstorms. Dogs bark at anyone who gets too close. A pickup truck blasts a corny country song as the cicadas and frogs belt out their lonely mating calls. Occasionally, a child’s laughter rises above it all.

Gossip is one of the great pastimes in towns like these. Even if you shut yourself up in your home, stories trickle in.

The neighbor across the street shot himself in the head.

The elderly couple that used to live next door got committed to a nursing home.

A fellow around the corner is on his third attempt to grow weed.

A college student starves himself morning to night so that he can save money for college.

Down the street, a kid lifts weights and punches the heavy bag hanging on his front porch.

Here, dumb luck seems, more so than in the big cities, the providence of God.

A man told me he got a job installing new carpets at a friend’s house. He was in desperate need of money, having sent most of it to his mother back home, who proceeded to gamble it away. When he ripped out the old carpet, he found a bundle of $10,000 dollars just lying there. His co-worker said, “We should split it.”

“No, no, we can’t take it.” the man said. He gave the money to his friend.

Sometime later, he went to the casino and couldn’t stop winning jackpot after jackpot. He brought home close to $16,000 in one night.

“So, if you do something good,” he told me, “God will remember that.”

Many people have come to live and die here, all of them wrapped up in the melancholic churning of faded ambitions and familial obligations.

Some people here have found something that returns them to the placidity they once felt in their youth. Sometimes that’s enough to keep them going.

For example:

I met Phil Uhlik, the namesake of the music store on E Douglas. He heard me playing an old Martin acoustic in one of the rooms. He shuffled in slightly hunched over, wearing a blue paisley shirt and brown shorts. He looked at the sunburst guitar in my hands and said, “It’s got a little beauty mark there.” He pointed to a small nick just above the sound hole. “All girls have beauty marks.” He pointed to his cheeks and smiled.

Uhlik started this music store 51 years ago and enjoys every moment of it.

“When you go to work for Boeing, that’s work,” he said. “But this, it doesn’t feel like work.” He motioned to the instruments all around him.

“How’d you get started?” I asked.

“I started off playing one of these,” he said, taking one of the accordions off a nearby shelf. As he strapped it on, all the years seemed to disappear. With a big crooked-teeth grin, he breathed life into the old accordion, his hands dancing up and down the keys. The smile never left his face as we bid farewell to each other.

I wish everyone in this world were as lucky as Phil.

I’m always seeking indie bookstores when I travel. Eighth Day Books provides much needed shelter from the summer heat. The shop was built 33 years ago and used to be located about half a mile east, in Clifton Square Village. About 17 years ago they moved to their current location, a 1920 Dutch-style colonial house on the corner of E Douglas and N Erie. Its blue trimmed windows peek through the foliage of neighboring trees.

When you walk in, you’ll see shelves of books on Christianity and Theological studies, most notably in the Eastern Orthodox tradition. I’ve never seen a bookshop with a section dedicated to Iconography.

Wichita, despite its size, feels like a small place. And with that cramped spaciousness, you’re likely to run into someone you may remember or who may remember you. Here I ran into my girlfriend’s 8th grade English teacher. A bald, bespectacled man with a gentle demeanor. After a bit of catching up, he said to us with a smile, “I hope all your dreams come true.”

The short story writer, Raymond Carver, once wrote: “Dreams… are what you wake up from.”

Wichita is a land that hypnotizes you; it makes you dream, dream of something beyond the miles of strip malls and airplane factories, beyond the shocks of wheat and windswept plains, beyond the doldrums and ennui. But it also shakes you awake, reminds you that you’re in it, that you better stop dreaming.

I’m not the religious sort anymore, having survived the regime laid down by my Catholic parents. But there is something enthralling, maybe even inspirational, when I look at the rows of beautifully painted portraits of saints and martyrs. Such solemn faces surrounded by golden halos. According to the Eastern Orthodox tradition, such paintings transcend art; they’re supposed to be windows through which you can glimpse the divine. They remind me of my grandparents with their judging eyes and moral seriousness.

My book haul for the day:

Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata

The Diary of Anne Frank

Earthly Signs: Moscow Diaries by Marina Tsvetaeva

Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector

In that last book, I found this lovely little passage:

…”in the Revolution, as always, the weight of everyday life falls on women: previously--in sheaves, now in sacks. Everyday life is a sack with holes. And you carry it anyway.”

From Earthly Signs, P. 40

According to the 2019 United States census bureau, 15.9% of Wichita's population lives below the poverty line. That’s higher than the state average, which hovers around 11.4%. That’s not the lowest nor is it the highest in the country. As befitting its location, Kansas is right in the middle.

The minimum wage in Kansas is still $7.25 despite efforts to increase it to $15. When Covid-19 hit, city and service workers bore the brunt of the impact. You can keep all your empty slogans like  “We Love Our Frontline Workers.” Congratulate me all you want for my hard work but where’s my pay?

When you see that business here has returned to normal--people freely walking around without masks, no longer socially distancing--it still feels all too strange; we spent an entire year under lockdown. There’s still a pandemic by the way.

Loved ones fell ill, died alone, hooked up to ventilators in closed off hospital rooms. I believe every interaction now carries the weight of all those deaths. My family, like so many others, didn’t escape unscathed from the pandemic. My grandpa, Amang, caught Covid. Since he was an elderly citizen (and suffering from emphysema to boot), he was among those considered most at risk. We all feared the worst. Somehow he survived. The doctors called him a “trailblazer.”

Now, with businesses back to 100% capacity, I’m afraid that, just like the 1918 Flu epidemic, the past will fade like a nightmare upon waking. But it was so much more than that; it was an avoidable tragedy.

If you want to know what this pandemic has done to people and their livelihoods, is still doing to them, take a ride through downtown.

Things were already going bad before Covid hit. Back in 2004, the writer Thomas Frank wrote,

“There were so many closed shops in Wichita… that you could drive for blocks without ever leaving their empty parking lots, running parallel to the city streets past the shut-down sporting goods stores and toy stores and farm implement stores.”

What’s the Matter with Kansas: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America, P. 75

What led to all this blight? Frank attributes the decline to:

“the conservatives’ beloved free market capitalism, a system that, at its most unrestrained, has little use for smalltown merchants or the agricultural system that supported the small towns in the first place.”

-P. 79

The same story happens in a lot of places. A megacorporation keeps eating everything around it and leaves nothing else at the table.

The people are left hurting, a pit in their stomachs, and some asshole somewhere profits off of it.

While at the DMV, I overheard this:

“You have a good day now,” the security guard said.

“I’ll try my best,” a woman said.

My girlfriend heard them too and laughed.

“You really do have to try your best in order to have a good day here.”

At some point, we hit the town with a couple friends: Monica, and her boyfriend Will. Both are musicians trying to carve out their niche in a place that, on the surface, seems apathetic to creative pursuits.

It’s impossible to not be captured by their energy. As soon as we walk into their house, Monica, with her dark blonde hair draped over her shoulders, reached in for a hug. Will, a tall and bearded fellow with a bear-like presence, also went in for the hug.

“Ready to experience some Wichita nightlife?” Monica asked.

What is the nightlife here like? A group of high school punks wanted to fight us over a couple movie theater seats. Bored kids play rounds of “Chinese Fire Drill” at stop lights. I heard a nazi biker gang rolled into town at some point during my stay. Regular things like that.

At a low-key bar downtown called Luckys, I met a guy named Cory. He told me how he met a 15 year old kid loitering here, looking lost and forlorn.

“I don’t know what kind of advice I can give you but I’ll do the best I can,” Cory said.

This is the spirit I’ve often come across during my stay: A sort of slightly intrusive compassion. For a cynical Californian like me, the behavior seems a little strange, maybe even a little annoying. But I’ve come to appreciate the candor of it.

“Guaranteed we’ll know half the people here,” Will said.

Right away, he shook hands with the bartender—a high school friend of his—and asked him how his band was doing. Afterwards, we sat down and talked. Talking, after a year of pandemic lockdown, has become a lost art to me. But a little alcohol loosened the lips and suddenly I talked as though I’d known these people my whole life.

Will sipped his whisky on the rocks and told me:

“If everything in this world is meant to break down eventually, then any act of creation becomes an act of defiance.”

It may sound naive but to me, it’s true. I think about the words of the writer, John Berger:

Compassion defies the laws of necessity. To forget yourself and identify with a stranger has a power that defies the supposed natural order of things.

--The Shape of a Pocket, P. 179

Making art has to be, in some way, a compassion act, because it involves letting the environment and the people you meet speak for themselves, allowing a collaboration.

“When a painting is lifeless it is the result of the painter not having the nerve to get close enough for a collaboration to start… Every authentic painting demonstrates a collaboration.”

--The Shape of a Pocket, P. 16

You need to open yourself up, feel what someone is saying behind their words, and hopefully, feel what they feel.

Art, like Compassion, is defiant.

Among the 4 or so Asian markets here, you can find all the ingredients you need to cook up something good. During my first week, I stopped at a place called Grace Market. Like a lot of small Asian markets, it’s family run. A father from Taiwan. A mother from Korea. The son usually helps out when he can. Today (June 23), On this warm Wednesday morning, the son is manning the cash register.

“You’re from California? I’m from there too,” he said.

“Where at?” I asked.

“Sacramento. How about you? So Cal?”

“Nah, Bay Area.”

“Funny. That’s where my parents met.”

“Small world.”

On a different day, we met the father, a jovial man who never fails to say hi when you walk in. He came here over a couple decades ago from California, doing work for the US Army in Garden City. Once his service was over, he decided to stay in Kansas.

“I think you know why,” he said.

More and more young folks these days are leaving California. The high cost of living is presumably what’s driving this exodus. I told him I was also thinking of leaving the Golden State, as much as I love the place.

“Well, a town like this has a lot of potential if you want to save money,” he said. “If I tried to start this business in California, I don’t think I could’ve done it.”

The summer heat can, with the suddenness of a lightning flash, give way to thunderous storms. Speaking as someone from California, whose home has gone through excruciating periods of drought and wildfire, these nightly downpours are a startling yet relaxing sight.

The distant boom of thunder in the distance reminds you of how much of our lives depend on the weather, how small we are in comparison, how we are never separate from the goings-on of nature. The rain doesn’t come down lightly here. At night, it smacks and drums against the window pane with all the force of an animal trying to get inside.

But I don’t find myself frightened by it so much as awed by the combined power of wind and rain colliding against our rickety old house.

Kansas lies in the Great Plains, where layers of cool and warm air often combine into a low-level jet stream. Unimpeded by any natural obstacles on the wide flat plains, the wind roars across the expanse. Thunder growls over the prairie. And lightning flashes on the horizon in a fearsome red tinge.

The storm rages throughout the night, the only source of light in an ocean-sized plain.

“In general, the gods of the Wichita are spoken of as "dreams," and they are divided into four groups: Dreams-that-are-Above (Itskasanakatadiwaha), or, as the Skidi would say, the heavenly gods; and (2) Dreams-down-Here (Howwitsnetskasade), which, according to the Skidi terminology, are the earthly gods. The latter "dreams" in turn are divided into two groups: Dreams-living-in-Water (Itska-sanidwaha), and the Dreams-closest-to-Man (Tedetskasade)”

From The Mythology of the Wichita, P. 33

If you go downtown, you’ll see a sculpture called “The Keeper of the Plains.”

It’s almost 9 o’ clock when I get there, so large crowds have gathered to watch the ring of fire lit around its perimeter.

The statue was designed by indigenous artist and craftsman, Blackbear Bosin. Born in Cyril, Oklahoma, but living much of his adult life in Wichita, Kansas, Bosin was of Comanche and Kiowa descent and almost entirely self-taught as an artist.

When you come upon the Keeper of the Plains, standing tall on the fork of the Arkansas and Little Arkansas Rivers, you can’t help but feel a mix of admiration and sadness. It’s a striking statue, especially when set against the beautiful orange and lavender hues of the setting sun. But monuments like these end up reminding you of the Wichita peoples who were killed, displaced, driven from their land, and left to die in reservations, forgotten. The tribes that once lived here along the southern plains still show traces of their culture but now, you’ll see it mostly as a memory in a museum or as art hanging on the walls of a library.

I learned from a video by the Wichita Eagle that the last speaker of the Wichita language, Doris Jean Lamar, died back in 2016. It must be indescribably lonely to be the last speaker of a language. There is no one to have a conversation with, no one to whom you can confess your hopes or your regrets. But in the video, Lamar, even knowing that she is the last speaker, expresses hope that future generations will know what the language sounded like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ScPkN_xGRI

Is forgiveness even possible when injustices are still committed today against native peoples everywhere?

Not enough can be said about the skies here, which seem at times so brilliantly marbled with peach and lavender colors that you begin to walk with your head perpetually craned upwards.

It’s this aspect, the overwhelming sense of the sublime, that will probably stay with me long after I’ve left Kansas.

I think again about the nature of dreams. It isn’t such a sin to dream about things, about things that haven’t happened yet, and about things that have happened. To quit dreaming seems too cynical, like admitting from the outset that everything is screwed, that you should stop trying.

During my stay here, I’ve met many people who aren’t so irony poisoned yet, people who are achingly sincere and kind. They haven’t stopped trying. There isn’t much room for cynicism here. I appreciate that a lot.

Farewell to you, Kansas, you and your clumps of cumulus and vast fields of cows and grass. I’ll see you again.

Check out Will’s music! It’s gloomy, melancholy, and LOUD!: https://teamtremolo.bandcamp.com/album/intruder

[whitewolfmoving]

Guard Your Body, Guard My Heart || Bucky Barnes au

A/N: Writing commission for @arrowsandmixtapes I had so much fun writing this for you! Thank you for commissioning me 🥰

Summary: Agent Barnes is the best in his field. When Aceline Marcure—the key witness in a murder investigation—is placed in his care, he’s tasked with keeping her safe until their primary suspect can be taken out. As time goes on, Bucky Barnes learns two things: one, never judge a book by its cover and two, he owes Steve Rogers $100.

Warnings: swearing, Bucky Barnes needs to calm down, I don’t know what I’m talking about half the time—literally just made this crock of shit up

Word Count: 3976

——————————

File Status: CLASSIFIED

Password: ***************

Access: GRANTED

Bucky leaned against the driver’s door of his SUV and pushed his sunglasses up to rest on top of his head, quickly skimming over the file on his iPad screen. He’d just made it to the safe house out on Bennet road, and was waiting for the Director to arrive. This certainly wasn’t how he’d planned on spending his day off; forced to come into work at the last minute, forced to babysit someone else who couldn’t stay out of trouble. Fuck. Bucky couldn’t catch a break.

He took a long drag of the cigarette between the fingers of his right hand, and continued scrolling through the file. He noted the important details like the young woman’s name, her age, where she was from, what she did for a living, who she kept in her close inner circles; and threw out the ones he deemed unimportant like her favorite food, the name of her cat, her hobbies, where she did her grocery shopping. No sense getting to know her since this job would hopefully be short lived. Keep her safe long enough for authorities to apprehend the douche attempting to murder her, then let her go back to her old life… if she even could go back to her old life. Sometimes these things didn’t always go to plan, Bucky knew that well. He’d lost a few in his early years. But the reason Director Fury kept him on was because of his turnaround rate. No one brought down suspects with the same speed and zeal that James Barnes did. His success rate was through the roof and far outnumbered his failures. So if Nick Fury thought he was the perfect agent for this job, then he was the perfect agent for this job and no other questions needed asking.

A sleek black car pulled into the gravel driveway and parked next to Bucky’s SUV. The driver’s door opened and Steve Rogers stepped out of the car, not Director Fury.

“What are you doing here, Rogers? Where’s Fury?” Bucky asked, careful not to slip into the causal way he was used to addressing his fellow agent when they were off the clock.

Steve nodded back to the car as he stepped around the vehicle and joined Bucky at the SUV. “He got pulled into a meeting on his way out of the office, called me in to deliver.”

“Yeah? How was the ride over?”

“Quiet, she didn’t say much.”

“Good, makes my job a hell of a lot easier.”

“Listen, I think this guy’s really getting under her skin. Go easy on her, hmm?”

“Go easy on her? What kinda man do you take me for, Rogers?” Bucky laughed.

“I mean it, man. Look, I know how you can get on these jobs. Just try to be a bit more understanding than usual, alright?” Steve said. He lightly rapped on the tinted window of the car, the back right passenger door opened shortly after.

To say Bucky Barnes was floored by the sight in front of him would be putting it lightly. The young woman that stepped out of the car appeared to be so much more than what he was expecting, just from what he’d read of her file. She wasn’t nearly as fragile-looking as the report made her seem, though Bucky could tell she equally wasn’t as battle-hardened either.

Steve motioned between Bucky and the young woman, addressing them accordingly, “Barnes, this is Aceline Marcure. Miss Marcure, this is Agent James Barnes, he’ll be your bodyguard. You’ll be staying here at our safe house for the duration of the case. Unfortunately, you’re not allowed to have any outside visitors, that means no telling anyone where you are. This is just as much for their safety as it is yours. Should you need or want to leave the cabin for any reason, you are not to go alone. Agent Barnes is to be with you at all times. Take tonight to get settled, I’ll check in with you in the morning.”

“Agent Rogers, you’re not staying with us?” Aceline asked, hazel eyes shining as she looked up at the blond-haired man next to her.

“No, ma’am. My job was simply to make sure you arrived safely and were transferred to Agent Barnes’ care in one piece,” Steve said.

Aceline nodded. She extended her right hand toward Bucky, waiting for him to take it.

Bucky eyed her closely; he dismissed her outstretched hand and turned to Steve, pulling the other agent away from the car. He finished off his cigarette and tossed the butt to the ground, snuffing it out with the toe of his shoe. “You gotta be kidding me here, Stevie. Someone’s out for this girl? I don’t buy it.”

“I only know what’s in her file, Buck. Same as you. The rest is on a need-to-know basis.”

“Yeah, well, Fury better have a damn good reason for bringing me in on my one day off in over a month.”

“Just try to get through tonight without tearing each other’s heads off, alright? Can you do that?”

Bucky scoffed. “Yeah, I got it. Get out of here, Rogers.”

+

After Steve had helped Bucky get their bags inside, he’d left Aceline with his cell number before heading back to the city. He knew how Bucky could get, he promised her she’d need it. They both watched silently as Steve’s car backed down the gravel driveway and took off, leaving the two of them together in complete silence. Then Bucky left Aceline alone to get settled in while he went to take a shower.

Now, he stood at the island in the kitchen with a mug of coffee and a pack of cigarettes next to it. His iPad laid in front of him with Aceline’s file open on the screen. He rolled up the sleeves of the darke blue sweatshirt he’d pulled on after his shower and got to work reading through the report more thoroughly.

Name: Aceline Marcure

Age: Unknown

Birthplace: Brooklyn, New York

Occupation: Bookstore Owner

Bucky scoffed. Great, just what he needed, another softie. Another person who wouldn’t be able to hold her own against the horrors of being in Witness Protection. How in the hell was he supposed to keep her safe if he had to worry about whether or not she could handle it all, too? He took a sip of coffee; the warmth from the mug seeped deep into the palm of his right hand, his left hand remained vaguely unbothered by the change in temperature. Ah, yes, one more thing he’d have to worry about—whether or not she could handle that small detail on top of everything else. He was pulled out of his thoughts at the sound of soft footsteps coming down the stairs.

Bucky quickly closed the case file on his iPad and turned off the screen, he then moved to the coffee pot on the counter behind him and poured another mug. He wasn’t happy about this, far from it, but at least there was coffee. He set the new mug on the far end of the island and waited for Aceline to join him in the kitchen. As she rounded the corner, Bucky could see the exhaustion settled deep in her bones. He could tell that this wasn’t exactly her idea of a vacation either.

He nodded to the coffee mug on the opposite end of the island, watching Aceline’s movements closely. She moved slowly across the room; her shoulders hung heavy, her eyes dimmed. She smiled gratefully at Bucky, silently thanking him for the coffee. She didn’t try to talk to him, which he was grateful for.

Aceline set her mug back down on the counter and looked up at the agent. His demeanor was less than inviting. She couldn’t help but wonder what had crawled up his ass to make him that way. She sighed, combing a hand through her long hair. “Look, I know you don’t want to be here. And I know you want me here about as much as I’d like to be here, so can we just agree to stay out of each other’s way until this thing is over?”

“Good plan,” Bucky said gruffly. His tone alerted Aceline to the fact that he didn’t think it was a good idea at all, and even if it had been, he was about to shit all over it. “Except for the gaping hole in the center of it.”

“Oh, yeah, and what might that be?” Aceline challenged.

“You seem to be forgetting that you are in Witness Security. Which means, unless it’s to sleep, shower, piss or shit, you’re not allowed so much as a foot out of my sight. Am I clear?”

“Is that supposed to make me want to listen to you? Cause it doesn’t. I get that your weekend’s been ruined or whatever, but I didn’t ask to see some dude get his head blown off and I didn’t ask to be put in Witness Security.”

“Well, that’s just tough. It is, you did, and you are. I only have two rules for the duration of this case: stay where I can see you at all times, and follow my instructions. Do that, and we won’t have any problems.”

Aceline promptly excused herself, leaving Bucky alone under a heavy silence once again. He wouldn’t admit it, but she had fire in her veins—something Bucky wasn’t used to seeing in the usual clients who entered the program. If Bucky were a gambling man, he would have already bet on how long Aceline would be able to stick it out. But he wasn’t and he hadn’t.

+

Bucky was still up by the time the moon had settled at its peak in the dark sky.

Aceline had gone to bed hours ago and he hadn’t heard so much as a whisper from her since. Their earlier conversation yielded a thick amount of tension between them, with Bucky feeling no more or less in control of the situation as he had when it began. Throughout the day, it had become increasingly clear to Bucky that Aceline was stubborn, and unbearably so.

He’d just finished logging his notes for Director Fury on how the first day had gone, and was heading upstairs to bed, when a piercing scream came from Aceline’s room. Bucky was up the stairs and around the corner in seconds, gun drawn and ready for whatever he’d come face-to-face with. But as he made it to Aceline’s room, he was met with the sounds of pained whimpers—nothing like what he’d expect if someone were attempting to harm her. Still, he knew better than to let his guard down until he cleared the room.

Aceline’s door was cracked; Bucky slowly and carefully pushed it open just enough for him to slip through unheard. He cleared the corners to the left and right of the doorway, the room was empty except for the bed where Aceline slept fitfully. He holstered his handgun and scrubbed a hand down his tired face—he hated this part, the comforting part. He wasn’t good at it, comforting other people. S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn’t hired him for his ability to be nurturing, they’d hired him for his deadly aim.

Bucky sighed. He approached Aceline’s bedside cautiously, aware that any sudden movements on his part could spell disaster for both of them. Bucky stilled as she shot up quickly, eyes frantically darting around the room. Her eyes landed on Bucky still a few feet away, but close enough to make out who he was in the dark, and she settled. Bucky let his shoulders relax.

Her hair was disheveled, she was frightened; Bucky was so far out of his league.

Bucky cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. “You were screaming. I thought someone was in the house, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I can’t stop seeing it—what happened, over and over and over. It’s like it plays on a constant loop in my head. It won’t leave me alone.” Aceline shook her head, her voice trembled with exhaustion and Bucky wondered how long it’d been since she’d had a good night’s sleep.

“I wasn’t given the details of what happened, only told to protect you. Whatever you saw was—is important. You should go back to sleep, we have to head into the office tomorrow. Rest up.” He turned to leave without another word.

“Stay. Please?” Aceline switched on the lamp beside her bed, and warm light flooded the room. Bucky could see her properly now, she looked like she’d seen a ghost. Her hair was disheveled, she was trembling; Bucky was so far out of his league.

“I need to check the rest of the cabin. Rest up,” Bucky repeated. “See you in the morning.”

He exited the room and pulled the door shut behind him. The fear on Aceline’s face and the way she was staring up at him as she asked him to stay with her had been burned into his brain. For a moment there, he’d considered sitting by her bedside and watching over her until she fell asleep; but comforting someone wasn’t something Bucky Barnes could do.

He made his way back down the stairs and checked the locks once again. Taking a seat in the living room, he grabbed his phone to call Steve before heading to bed. The line rang twice and Steve picked up immediately.

“Buck, it’s late. Is Aceline okay?” The gruffness of Steve’s voice told Bucky he’d been asleep prior to the agent’s call.

“Everything’s fine here, Stevie. She had a nightmare or something, woke up screaming a little bit ago,” Bucky replied, unsure of what else to say.

“Well, is she alright? Do either of you need anything?” Steve asked, and Bucky could hear the shuffling of his blankets as he sat up in bed.

“No, we’re fine, she’s just spooked. She asked me to sit with her, but we both know that’s not something I can do.”

“Have you even tried since your last case?”

“Steve, don’t push it.”

“Have you tried getting to know her? Having a conversation with her?”

“Steve.” Bucky’s patience with his best friend was wearing thin.

“I’m just saying, it’s not any easier to be in WITSEC than it is to be the agent protecting her. You both could use some reassurance. She needs to know she can count on you to keep her safe, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. And you need to remember that it’s okay to care about someone else,” Steve said gently. “I’ll cover for you at the office tomorrow. Take her out, let her stretch her legs, see the city. And if she wants to talk, listen. I know you’re still carrying guilt for what happened last time, but that wasn’t your fault. And Aceline isn’t Charlotte.”

Bucky tensed at the mention of his last client; things hadn’t gone well, he still hadn’t recovered from her loss. He’d gotten too close, let his feelings get in the way… he wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. He sighed, figuring Steve was at least right about getting Aceline out of the cabin for a little bit, what could it hurt?

He and Steve chatted for a few more minutes, then hung up. By the time he was finally ready to go back upstairs, he had a small game plan in place.

The following morning, Aceline was up with the sun. She hadn’t quite slept as soundly as she’d hoped after Bucky left her room, but knowing he was nearby had eased her worries enough to get some rest. She wasn’t sure what the day had in store for her, but she knew she needed to get out of the house. She couldn’t just leave, though, not without Bucky. In the time it took to shower and dress for the day, she’d only figured out part of a plan to sway things in her favor. She ventured down the stairs ready to put her half-baked plan into action.

The kitchen was empty when she entered. It was big, certainly bigger than her kitchen at home and would allow her to cook breakfast without hindrance. She wasn’t sure what Bucky liked to eat, but hoped he’d appreciate a warm home cooked meal to make up for their rocky start the day before. Upon further inspection, she found the kitchen and accompanying pantry fully stocked with everything she’d need to cook breakfast for her and Bucky. She set her Rainy Day Playlist on shuffle and got to work.

When Bucky finally made his way downstairs about two hours later, Aceline was pulling a tray stacked with waffles out of the oven here she’d placed them to stay warm. The dining table had been set with plates, bowls, glasses of orange juice, and silverware. Aceline walked over with the platter of waffles, and Bucky’s stomach grumbled. She turned to face him with a gentle smile.

“I hope you’re hungry,” she said warmly. “I figured it’s the least I could do after yesterday.”

Bucky remained silent. He sat down at the table and waited, unsure of how to approach Aceline. He thought back to his conversation with Steve the night before; he’d been right about one thing, Aceline certainly wasn’t Charlotte.

“I know you said we have to go talk to your boss today, but I thought we could both use a bit of a break from all the madness. At least for a couple hours?” She sat down across from him and played a few waffles, then held the dish out for him to take. She looked a lot different now than she had when he’d checked on her eight hours before. It was as if the nightmare hadn’t even fazed her.

Bucky cleared his throat, he took the plate from her with a polite nod of his head. “Actually, we’ve been excused from the meeting this morning, Steve will give us the details later. Do you have everything you need? Or is there anything you’d like to go out and get? We’ll be staying here a while.”

He was trying, and Aceline appreciated that. She sat quietly for a few minutes, thinking. Was this really the same agent who’d given her a harsh set of rules and stern talking to? She thought she’d have to work a lot harder than a nice breakfast to get him to agree to let her out of the cabin for a few hours. Whatever Steve had said to him seemed to be working, and she certainly wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

She took a small sip of orange juice, and nodded. “I could use a few more things. I wasn’t really given much warning, just told to pack a bag and be ready by the time Agent Rogers got to my house.”

“There’s a store in town that should have whatever you forgot to bring. Take as much time as you need, we’ll go when you’re ready.”

“Okay. Thank you, Agent Barnes.”

They finished eating in silence. When they were done, Bucky offered to clean up while Aceline went to get ready. He hadn’t expected to receive breakfast and good company when he woke up that morning. Bucky hadn’t expected his opinion of Aceline to shift so suddenly either, he went from feeling like he’d been employed as her babysitter to wondering how she wasn’t a lot more freaked out over the situation than she seemed.

He was putting the last of the dishes away when she returned. She stood at the island, staring at his back as he dried the remaining plates.

“I can finish that if you’d like to grab your things,” Aceline said quietly. She set her purse down on the counter and went to his side. He handed her the dish towel, and turned to leave the kitchen.

+

The drive into town was long, filled with awkward silences Bucky wasn’t sure how to break.

He pulled the SUV to a stop outside of a small shop about 20 miles from the cabin. He wasn’t sure how this was going to go, but he knew he needed to do something to make up for how he’d been treating her.

He reached into the center console and pulled out the handgun he kept there, his badge, and his cellphone. He grabbed something else from the console and held his hand out to her. “Let me see your phone.”

“My phone? What for?” She asked defiantly, but handed it over with one stern look from Bucky. She watched him fiddle with it for a couple seconds, then took it back when he was done. “What’d you do?”

He held his phone up so she could see the screen. “Tracking app, leave your phone on. If we get separated, meet me back here. After 15 minutes if you don’t show up, I’ll come find you.”

They got out of the car and went inside. The shop was small, but packed. They’d be able to blend in easily, but Bucky wasn’t willing to leave anything to chance. He wasn’t going to have another Charlotte… Bucky shook his head, cleared it of all thoughts of previous cases, and put on the first smile Aceline had seen in 24 hours.

He greeted the shop owner as they entered. “Morning, Grace.”

Grace smiled. “Morning, James. Long time, no see. How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know—same old, same old, Grace. How about you? How’s Walter?” Bucky leaned against the counter, slipping into a comfortable conversation with Grace.

Aceline stood back and watched the two interact. The Bucky she was seeing now, was vastly different than the one she’d met previously. He’d let his guard down, he was talking and laughing like he hadn’t a care in the world. Here, he was a normal civilian instead of an uptight secret agent. Here, Bucky had personality and manners. She noted the way his eyes lit up as he smiled; a blue so rich and dark that it was like looking at the night sky or the ocean in his eyes. This was a side of Bucky she didn’t know he possessed.

“Hey, Ace, come here a minute.” Bucky held his arm out to her, waiting. When she stepped over to his side, he pulled her against him. His hand rested protectively on her hip, she tensed up next to him. He sensed her discomfort and leaned in close. “The man who came in behind us has been eyeing you up and down for the last 10 minutes. Relax, stay calm and follow my lead.”

Aceline slightly relaxed into Bucky’s hold, and laid her head on his shoulder. Grace smiled at her from behind the counter.

“And who’s this?” Grace asked cheerily.

“Oh, right. Forgive me, ladies. Grace, this is my fiancée, Aceline Marcure. Ace, this is Grace Richards, she owns the shop,” Bucky said breezily. He gently squeezed her hip, folding her into his side. He pressed a soft kiss into Aceline’s hair and turned back to Grace. “What was it you were saying you wanted to try and find, babe?”

Aceline hummed. “Oh, I was hoping to find nice candles for the centerpieces. We discussed gold holders, if possible.”

Bucky wasn’t sure how, but in that moment Aceline seemed so much stronger than he’d previously given her credit for. She’d adapted to change in situation without hesitation or panic, she’d put her trust in Bucky as quickly as he’d had to put his faith in her. He turned to place another kiss against her temple, and smiled up at Grace. If every encounter they had in public went this smooth, Bucky was certain Aceline would make it out of this alive.

—————

A/N: I’m so glad this is finally ready! I had so much fun writing this for you, Kansas. I hope you love it as much as I do!

I decided to make this into a series, even though this initial post is for your commission--the whole series will be for your commission! I can only hope that it lives up to the hype.

Commissions are open and can be paid for via my ko-fi page.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and encouraged. Remember to like, comment, and reblog if you loved it!

Thank you for your continuous support!

-Auri <3

Till The End of All Things (main taglist):

@arrowsandmixtapes @pinknerdpanda