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#i never like tagging people it feels weird
lorebird · 1 day
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In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.
#my art#gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#bill cipher#comic#eye strain#TIME TO DUMP EVERY ONE OF THE 27483949 THOUGHTS IVE HAD INTO THE TAGS BABY#OK!! SO!!!!#I feel like Ford would wonder why he and Stan (being identical twins) aren’t. yk. identical. shouldn’t Stan have polydactyly too?#as a kid he would dream about secretly being nonhuman and being whisked away to a fantastical world full of people like him#finally free of new jersey‚ finally somewhere he belongs#a lot of this disconnect from humanity came from utterly failing at social interactions while others (including stan) navigated them easily#the feeling waned after Stan was kicked out and he didn't have that direct comparison but it never waned#then out in the wilderness of gravity falls‚ his isolation and immersion in Weirdness dragged it back up to the forefront#he deserves to have a breakdown over questioning his own nature. as a treat <3#color symbolism time bc I have a problem and use it at every available moment!!! blue and yellow get more vivid#the further from humanity the subject is#bill is entirely made w pure rgb blue and yellow (+ approximately 2674835 textures/layers/blending modes. I reached 150+ layers. help)#I like the idea that he would appear to ford like pure math considering hes a geometrical motherfucker and how the rest of the mindscape was#I tried to mostly use trigonometry and related stuff for the Math Greebling. as well as fractals i love you forever fractals#MORE SYMBOLISM:#the grid-ish diamond pattern in all of the mindscape bgs (and elsewhere) is a penrose diagram of spacetime#which shows other universes on the other sides of black holes#SOMEONE ASK ME ABOUT MY EUCLYDIA HEADCANON LATER. IVE DUMPED ENOUGH DUMB HCS IN THESE TAGS ALREADY#BUT I THINK ITS VERY FUN#anyways. fuckt up guys n their egos influencing how they view humanity. bill tells ford hes as human as they come bc he was so easily fooled#ford cant reconcile with his humanity bc of a failure to perform in one area#and then the immense guilt and shame over what hes done <3#I have So many ford characterization thoughts. no man nor god can stop me
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readerswritings · 2 days
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In the Damn Kitchen - Poolverine 1/2
Smut will come in next chapter I promise, just needed to get this part out into the world first to see if people like it. (AO3)
Warnings/tags: roommates, first Kiss, idiots in love, eventual smut, canon-typical behavior
Wordcount: 1224
Summary: Logan and Wade are some weird kind of roomates, and one morning Logan tries to figure out how to make Wade shut the fuck up without getting blood in his breakfast.
Logan has been staying with Wade on his shitty pull-out couch for three months. Something that was meant to be somewhat temporary is feeling less and less like that these days.
They still fight physically, stabbing each other and making a mess (that Al complains about later), but they also just hang out.
Which Logan isn’t used to.
Not anymore.
Haven’t been for a good while.
Wade has grown on him, even with all the touching. And talking.
All the goddamn talking.
It rarely stops.
Wade talks on the inhale and exhale.
Not even when he eats is Wade quiet, talking with his mouth full of food. He has been doing it less lately, after Logan stabbed him with a fork a few times so he wouldn’t have to see that shit.
Wade is only quiet when he’s sleeping.
Logan has returned late from a bar or late-night walks a few times to Wade asleep on the pullout. Seeing him quiet and still had been odd. Wade’s ADHD filled ass never being still when he’s awake. 
Wade also sleeps like he’s dead. Logan had discovered this when he tried to wake him so he would move the first time. It was legitimately difficult to wake him up. So after that first time where it took an eternity to get him conscious enough to move, Logan either goes to sleep in the armchair he had gotten off the street the first week he was here, or tips Wade onto the floor with a pillow if he is in a bad mood. 
When he doesn’t give a shit, he’ll just crawl onto the pullout with Wade. He tends to wake up before him anyway. The few times he doesn’t, a few claws to the guts makes Wade shut up, or at least talk about something else.
Another thing he hasn’t quite gotten used to, is how casual Wade is about touch.
Sure, Wade had been touching him a bunch when they first met. But that had been to rile Logan up, to get a reaction, even if it was all negative. (The Honda doesn’t count in any positive way, the intent behind all of that had been hate and adrenaline. Even if the end result had been good.)
Now though, it’s a hand patting his shoulder as they pass in the kitchen. A thigh bumping against his own as they watch shitty reality tv. Feet kicking him under the dinner table if he says something too blunt or rude. A shoulder bumping against his as they walk that damn ugly dog together.
It makes his skin crawl, mostly with how used to it he has become. And how he kinda, not that he will admit this to anyone but his own thoughts, likes it.
It’s all become routine, a weird kind of domestic, (Logan hates that word), that works for them.
Speaking of routine, Logan often makes breakfast for them. Wade can barely cook, Al is blind, and Logan doesn’t mind that much most of the time. He needs to eat a lot anyway, and getting something into Wade that is somewhat healthy and not just all sugar makes him a little less irritating to deal with during the day.
Wade of course likes to tease him when he cooks. Stealing bites before it’s ready. Logan has become quite adept at fighting just with a spatula, smacking hands away with a grunted ‘fuck off.’
He’s off his game this morning though, as Wade manages to snatch a piece of bacon, straight from the pan where it was almost finished. Logan knows it must be burning his mouth and tongue, but Wade crunches on his price with a grin on his face. 
He’s wearing Deadpool pajama pants, bunny slippers, and a pink long sleeve with Hello Kitty on it, and frankly looks ridiculous leaning on the counter, extra so next to Logan who is fully dressed for the day in his flannel, t-shirt, jeans, and boots.
“Haven’t had enough coffee yet peanut?” Logan grunts, smacking Wade’s hand as it tries to go for another piece. 
“Fuck off.”
“Oh you know I love it when you talk dirty to me, even this early in the morning.”
“It’s 10 am dipshit.”
“Oh you know the saying, it’s always 5 am somewhere.” Logan snorts, shaking his head. He grabs a plate to put the finished bacon on, putting some more in the pan. He lets Wade take a piece from the plate.
“Besides, I kept waking up because my dreams were being haunted by this sexy lumberjack looking figure, and I woke up with a raging hard-on that I had to take care of every-” Logan tunes him out, a necessary and learned skill by now. He flips the bacon, then stirs the eggs in the other pan where he’s keeping them warm on low heat.
There’s a hand in his hair, and that makes his focus snap back to Wade and his yapping. 
“You know, I always wonder if you roll out of bed with these little tufts.” Logan pushes his hand away, letting the claws out just enough so he knicks Wade’s skin. 
“Ouchie, someone’s a grump this morning. You’ve clearly not gotten enough caffeine in your hot bod yet. We should get that coffee that has a fuckton of it, the one with the skull or whatever, that lethal shit. Wonder if that would actually kill you, do you think your heart could give out on you? I think they even make you sign a wai-” Logan tunes him out again and wonders what it will take to shut Wade up. He is right, Logan has not had enough coffee for this. (Or booze, but he’s trying to do a little less of that.) 
Logan absentmindedly notices one of Wade’s scars on his cheek looks kinda almost like an H, and his mind drifts to the Honda. Unintentional, though not unwelcome
He’d rather not get blood on his bacon right now, so he goes for another component of all that shit.
He steps to the side and turns, leaning forward, pressing his lips against Wade’s. It’s a brief kiss, but Wade doesn’t immediately say anything as Logan leans back just enough to gauge his reaction. He's enjoying the silence as Wade's eyes are flickering all over his face.
Wade’s mouth is gaping like a fish, opening and closing before his brain is booting back up. It makes Logan snort as he leans back all the way back.
The silence lasts for maybe thirty seconds.
“What the fuck peanut? You interupted me mid-monologue, that was fucking rude you-”
“Thought it would shut you up, but I see that didn’t work.” Logan takes a step back, but is hauled back by hands twisted in the collar of his flannel.
“Oh no, you are not going anywhere until I get an explanation, or more.” Logan arches a brow, hands at his side, not touching Wade. The urge to punch or stab him is rising. 
And the urge to kiss him. 
Again. 
He knows all of the options would work for Wade.
“I gave you an explanation.” 
“Grew tired of the claws old man? Don’t wanna stab this supple fle-”
“God you are desperate.” Logan doesn’t know if he means it as an insult or a compliment, but kisses Wade again anyway.
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iwasntstable · 3 hours
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✧₊⁺ 𝗡.𝗦. | 𝗧𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗?
| WORD COUNT: 574 | RATING: SFW | CONTENT TAGS: fluff | When you're too tired to do your hair, Noah is more than happy to help.
➔𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞➔➔ 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦!+  [𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝐀𝐎𝟯]
NOTE: My hair is getting long and it's starting to drive me insane.
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Your day was long, and you were tired. Only just managing to shower before collapsing down on the couch next to your boyfriend. 
“Tired?” Noah asked.
You hum in response, eyes closed as you towel dry your hair before trying to detangle it. The sound of some celebrity chef cooking show low on the TV in the background.
“Come here, let me help,” he says softly, taking the towel from your hands and patting the couch between his legs. “Sit down here.”
Too tired to even question it, you slip off the edge of the couch to the floor and scoot between his knees. Noah leans forward, gathering your hair gently, hooking the towel underneath, and begins the process of patting your hair dry. Tenderly splitting it into smaller sections to dry it quicker. “Did you want to brush it?” he asks, leaning around to see your face. You sleepily nod, and he gets to work with a smile on his face. 
Starting at the ends, carefully teasing the brush through the tangles and kinks until it comes out smooth. Moving up higher and higher with every section until half of your hair was almost dry and tangle-free. 
“You’re good at this,” you sigh, leaning back further against the couch.
“My hair was longer than yours, remember?” He chuckles quietly.
You smile at the thought of him detangling his own mane of hair, settling comfortably against his legs as he worked.
The act was surprisingly soothing. You were never one to let people mess with your hair, all throughout your life. Having long hair as a kid and your mother scraping your hair back into a tight ponytail that would leave you with a headache and a sore scalp by the end of the school day. Or the way hairdressers always wash your hair so aggressively, water getting in your eyes and a crick in your neck from the weird angle of the sink that never seemed to be the correct height for you. 
But Noah was so gentle, he’d whisper the occasional “sorry,” but you didn’t know what for. You didn’t feel a single tug or pull—no pain. The heaviness of your eyelids gets the best of you, feeling sleep creeping up quickly.
“Want me to braid it for you?” he asked when the brush ran through from top to bottom smoothly. You nod against his leg. He chuckles again, holding your head up in his hands. “Sit up just a sec.” He runs the brush across your head, gathering all of your hair smoothly at the back, whispering “okay,” when you could lean on him again.
Your body felt heavier and heavier as his fingers deftly worked to tame your hair. Again, as gentle as a summer breeze, you could barely feel him. Leaning against his leg felt like the comfiest thing in the world, and as he secured the end with a hair tie, declaring his work “done,” you were already fast asleep.
He pulls the towel away, leaving it in a pile next to him on the couch. He'll hang it up to dry after he gets you to bed, but for now, he just wants to watch your peaceful face as you sleep between his legs. Leaning down to lay a soft kiss to the crown of your head, feeling like the luckiest man in the world to be able to share these moments of simple domesticity with you.
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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/BLURB/WHENIMISSYOU [projects] ﹂[my-work] | in-progress | favourites  ﹂all | series | one-shot | [blurb] | head-cannons | ask   ﹂when-i-miss-you | anything-more-than-human | [tired]
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✉ C:/SYSTEM/APP/TAG
ᯤ 𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗦 (24) :  ⌞⬤ 10 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾⌝ › @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning › @runadaggerthroughmychest › @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard › @seven-glass-kids › @english-fucker
› @lma1986 › @shayzillaaaa › @madamaaubergine › @thewrstinme › @amourtoken
⌞⬤ 5 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒⌝ › @livingdeceasedgirl › @alwaysfightforwhoyouare › @thecoyotescry › @romanreigns-supreme › @slutforcoffein
⌞⦵ 5 𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖻⌝ › @deathofpeaceofmindem › @bluestdai › @fadingangelwisp › @broken0mens › @ferduttini
⌞◯ 4 𝗈𝖿𝖿𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾⌝ › @lovesick-evangelist › @fadingintothegrey › @missduffsblog › @anything-more-than-human
 +[MSG : join the taglist!]
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fiamat12 · 14 hours
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Another thing that I noticed about S and her Italy photos, is that she didn't tag A in the picture of them in the pool (A also didn't tag S in the picture of them in her Italy pictures either). This may not be weird but S had no issues with tagging R. In her previous posts she tends to tag the people in them. The last 2 posts that had A in them, she was tagged.
This also goes with the weirdness of S deleting some of the pictures in the R birthday post. Some of the pictures that were deleted had As body in them. I don't understand why S deleted them.
Again this may be nothing, but you also may ask if she wasn't friends with A anymore why even post that picture of them in the pool to begin with? I think it could just be optics. They need it to look like they are all still friends. I think that part of that has to do with NDAs that may or may not have been created after the Italy trip.
And if all of that is true, then it also seems even more plausible that Luke is still liking As photos to continue on with those optics and what may or may not be stated in the NDAs.
All this could me nothing, but I haven't seen anybody bring it up, just something to maybe think about?
NDAs are all about optics. This summer for Luke was all ONE BIG OPTIC, imo.
There are pieces of the puzzle we're missing and may never know but I do want to bring it back to Rory. He's the one who was the trusted childhood mate of Luke's; I have a feeling their relationship became strained w/ the Soho FH/ HBS antics coupled w/ Luke's rise to greater fame. That, or plot twist: Rory was actually helping Luke w/ the optics 🤔
But Mom & Dad have each other's backs and trust, they're coming back stronger than ever. 💪
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I'm aroacespec (and honestly confused about where I fall on that spectrum, but I do know I'm sex/romance favorable) and tbh my relationship with shipping is weird.
There are some ships I look at and I'm like "how can you see this as anything but romantic" and there are other ships where I'm like "okay but why do we have to ship them, can't they just be friends?" and it's almost always the total opposite of what the fandom majority's view is. For example, my Sonic "how can you see this as anything but romantic" ship is Espilver, and my "okay but why do we have to ship them, can't they just be friends?" ship is Silvaze.
I will say that something I've noticed is there tends to be a double-standard with allo people (specifically cishet people) when it comes to ships. You get a ton of "why can't they just be friends" with slash and femslash ships, but then those same people will ship a het pairing that look at each other in a single frame. I don't know if it's something that's more obvious to me because I'm gay myself (or even if it's more obvious because I'm aroacespec specifically), but it's weird to me. I choose to look at it this way: if this was a het ship with the same character dynamic, would people still say "why can't they just be friends?"
That's not to say aroace people are in the wrong for looking at a pairing and saying "can't they just be friends? Why do we have to ship them?" but with a lot of cishet people specifically, it feels like there's a lot of people perpetuating a borderline homophobic double-standard. I get it when it's something like Scott and Jay from Ninjago, but so many masc characters' dynamics are canonically given homoerotic or even just romantic undertones (a good example of this being, in my opinion, Sonadow; there's not an almost 3 and a half hour long Sonadow iceberg video on YouTube for no reason. As far as I'm aware it's the longest Sonic-related iceberg video on YouTube that covers exclusively official content) which is why people tend to gravitate towards those ships. I could do an entire analysis on why gay ships tend to have bigger followings than het ships but if I did this would get too long lmao. I will once again point to the Sonadow iceberg video though.
I generally use shipping to explore my own relationship with my aroace-ness, and usually I do that using characters I either headcanon as aroace in some way or who are canonically aroace, because I can relate to those experiences. It's kinda weird to me to see other aroace people acting like doing that is bad or wrong, because usually that's what people are doing, and even if that's not what's going on, fanfiction doesn't affect canon.
There is no right or wrong way to participate in fandom (unless you're harassing people and/or actively putting people in danger), no matter what you identify as.
Basically: People should be allowed to do what they want, if something bothers you that bad there's nothing wrong with blocking a person or tag.
(I might've gotten off subject a few times, sorry lol)
Okay, that thing about blocking tags inspired me to look through my blocked tags to see what ships I've blocked and here's my petty aroace thoughts on all of them without naming names lmao
Fanon het ship. They've never given any indication that they know of each other's existence. Her girlfriend is right there.
Canon het ship. Had the chemistry of two wet paper bags. Literally just shoehorned in there because god forbid any story exist without a romance subplot.
Semi-canon het ship. I'm mostly neutral about them. Just unnecessary.
Fanon mlm ship. Literally brothers?? I don't care that one of them is adopted, they grew up together?? As brothers??
Fanon het ship. I don't care what you call their relationship. You can call it professional, platonic, familial, just please don't call it romantic.
Semi-canon het ship. Again, completely unnecessary. God forbid a man convince a woman to become a villain without there being ~attraction~
Fanon het ship. She is 14?? And he is like 30??
Semi-semi-canon het ship. He did have a crush on her when he was, like, 14 but he's a grown adult now and she's the most lesbian-looking woman to ever exist and they're the most found family siblings to ever find a family
Fanon het ship. LET MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS. LET MEN AND WOMEN BE PLATONICALLY MARRIED.
Fanon mlm ship. I personally see them more as brothers. But whatever floats your boat.
Semi-canon het ship. Just really shoehorned. I don't like the woman very much. I liked her more when she was allowed to be a badass without being a ~flirty badass~
Fanon mlm ship. Again. Adopted brothers. Gross.
Canon het ship. I've seen many things from this director. He's a creative man. He couldn't think of a way to move the plot forward without a smooch?? He couldn't create a series that didn't have an unnecessary love triangle??
Semi-canon het ship. The man isn't coming back for S2 and boy folly gee am I glad
Fanon het ship. Not my cup of tea. Just let them be friends
good lord I have a lot more ship tags blocked than I thought
anyway, this is your daily reminder to just block stuff you don't want to see and move on
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ooc post abt some drama
So I’m pretty sure everyone has either interacted with @/demigod-jack-hearth or at least seen some of the posts that were made abt his Circe au. I’ve been trying to keep track of everyone’s thoughts on this (namely @unhinged-waterlilly and @if-chaos-was-a-boy who both have really helpful posts about it) and since I’m capable of producing coherent thoughts every once in a while, I thought I would share my thoughts on all of this.
So I should probably start with the AU, which really was the cause of a lot of this chaos. So first of all, making it in the first place was a very interesting choice. I’m not sure if Jack based it more off the odyssey or the epic musical, but either way it’s just a very weird decision. I understand people like to project on their character which makes sense, but Jack never mentioned being r@ped. (And I hope he never was) but it feels like if he was comfortable enough to make that part of an AU, he would’ve probably mentioned it one of the times he was trying to defend himself.
I understand that HE might’ve thought it was a fine change to make since he was comfortable with it, but I’ve seen a handful of people saying it made them uncomfortable. I’m aware it’s not his job to make sure everyone is happy, but the whole AU was really unnecessary knowing it could’ve made someone uncomfortable.
People even went to Jack saying they were v!ctims and they didn’t like his AU, and he basically told them to fuck off, without ANY condolences or apologies to the people for having to go through that. Those people shared their experiences and he just didn’t care.
And YES Odysseus is a fictional character, but his trauma is still basically being disrespected. I’ve seen a couple of people saying other are being dramatic since they are angry about him being invalidated, but it makes sense to me why they would be angry.
One anon (who was a sa victim of I remember right) came to Jack being rude, and SO many people have been rude to this anon, calling them either rude or dramatic, but honestly I think they were just really angry about what Jack had done (which is perfectly understandable) and they didn’t really think or bother to be polite when they sent that. They made a mistake too, but I don’t think jacks response was any better.
And once he realized that he was wrong (after having to be confronted by multiple people) he NEVER apologized. The words “I’m sorry” were not on a single one of his posts. He basically was just trying and failing to defend himself. This all could’ve been solved much quicker with a simple apology, but he’s more concerned with making sure everyone likes him and that he’s right so he doesn’t have to deal with any guilt.
And now he’s apparently disappeared and has been self harming and just struggling a lot. But you want to know what I find interesting? Jack never mentioned having a boyfriend, and now Fred has taken control of his account, responding to almost everyone and trying to defend Jack. I might be the only one, but I did NOT understand how to use tumblr at first, and it took me a while until I even learned how to reblog people and tag stuff. Even once I did learn how to tag people, I wasn’t tagging 20+ people on every post like Jack does. Another interesting thing is that the blog said something along the lines of “I didn’t mean to blah blah blah” and sounded like it was Jack defending himself, but then the message ended with -Freddy
If I was Fred, I would’ve made ONE post explaining why Jack disappeared, and not mentioning any of the sh or breakdowns. He could’ve made a post without mentioning all of that and disrespecting jacks privacy. Instead, he’s been responding to every person and mostly trying to defend Jack in every one of them. He also said he locked Jack out of his tumblr account, which you LITERALLY CANNOT DO unless he took away Jacks phone, which just seems really controlling, even if he did think it was best for Jack. So yes, this is me saying that I don’t think Fred is real. Especially since Jack is a ROLEPLAYER, and we are completely used to acting like different people.
Going back to the self-harm topic, I think that parts very weird as well. He’s made self harm jokes, and while I know perfectly well people can use humor as a coping mechanism, that’s just another really insensitive thing to do. It just doesn’t really make sense to me how you can make self harm jokes one week and then let your boyfriend tell a bunch of people on the internet you’ve been trying to hurt yourself.
Overall I think this spiraled into a lot more than it should’ve been, and this all wouldn’t have happened if he had just apologized, or just never have made that AU.
jacks tag list- @zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite
@fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son
@bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial
@reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia
@that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass
@kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @i-was-never-sane @clown-energy-skyrocketing @zoe-aura-of-d3ath
@itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena
@sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @thedaughter-of-death @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan
@demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @southerndaughterofeos
@creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes
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gibbearish · 11 months
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
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petricorah · 1 year
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zuko alone pt 2
lovingly inspired by this [ids in alt]
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slingbats · 4 months
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🏳️‍🌈 based on several old photos of gerard way
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cubbihue · 17 days
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Since u struggling with chimmy, here is a free pass to draw any other character!
Love your bitties AU tho
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YAYYY YIIPIEE!!!!
have some warm up doodles w huey and his fairy counterpart "huebert". becuase im in a bit of an art block atmm
wolf oc by @/bunnieswithknives and emersyn oc by @/emway99
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fiery-emblems · 8 months
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Uuuuuh...it's HE
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mercymaker · 1 month
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i spent quite a bit of time thinking, considering my options and wondering if i should even respond to the 'apology' to begin with, but i feel like i've been here before, in this exact same position (i didn't respond to his original 'apology' because it felt off how he omitted the fact that he pretended to be the victim for a whole week, but even then i decided to not say anything and just let the dust settle and give him a chance to learn and do better) and doing nothing eventually just caused more harm. even if i can't reach the other side and find common understanding, i wanted to at least express what's been on my mind for such a long time.
i always try to approach people and situations with understanding and try to assume ignorance instead of malice when someone says or does something i consider questionable or wrong. but i also know we all have our limits. we are all human. and you can't take the heart out of the equation.
one thing in this 'apology' that really stood out to me was this:
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how is it not malice to completely disregard another creator, hell, another person and their wishes and feelings when they have made it very clear that your actions are causing them harm?
how is it not malice to outright lie and misrepresent other people and situations in order to portray yourself in a better light?
how is it not malice to disrespect the people you've stolen from and then, after they (by your own words!) rightfully address it and try to bring your actions to light, you then turn around and vilify them to your friends and followers? portray them as bullies and gatekeepers?
all while repeating again and again how the whole experience made you stop creating? as if your actions didn't force people out of this space, this fandom? have you ever sat down to think how the person that made you a 40 minute video tutorial on gif making, the person that taught you so much, no longer makes anything at all because you turned your back on her and copied her sets? kept doing it after she blocked you? after she made text posts expressing how upsetting your behaviour was? you didn't care and kept doing it anyway. even saying things like 'i always credit where credit is due' in response to copying numerous sets from @minthara, down to the caption without ever crediting her.
and if that wasn't enough harm, you then took it a notch further and straight up lied to the people around you, trying to vilify petra and i by saying how the whole thing should've been dealt with in private. how is it not malice to omit the fact that I DID, in fact, reach out to you privately. that i did it in a civil manner. that i tried to explain to you how your actions were wrong and were rightfully upsetting other creators. how you ignored everything i've said and when i expressed that your response (or lack of it) made me uncomfortable and that because of it i couldn't give you permission to 'recreate' (copy) my work, you then insulted me and told me that it didn't matter what i wanted? that you would do as you please and there was nothing i could do about it? how you then immediately blocked me so i couldn't even respond? how is that not malice?
and then this was from your apology back in march:
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and you insist that after this 'apology' you've learnt and were never doing anything wrong again and yet you are saying the same thing again in your new 'apology'. how after the march events you went to @galedekarios anyway, asking for permission, didn't wait for her response and posted your copy of her set anyway. which just makes me think that you've never learnt. it just makes it seem that asking people for permission never stemmed from a place of respect and understanding, but from the need to cover your ass in case someone brings the fact that you're still copying up. which someone did, apparently.
at the end of the day, this is my opinion and i might be wrong, but following all of your words and actions, it just seems like you chose notes and attention instead of people. that you kept lying and misrepresenting things and throwing us under the bus for your own gain. and that you only stopped because enough people eventually found out, not because you suddenly felt remorse. and this 'apology' was just another 'ask for permission from a creator', all just for optics. you couldn't even bother to unblock us before posting the 'apology' which just shows how little you were actually thinking about any of us.
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wallbeatjournal · 3 months
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what if i told you hiram lodge was a redditor?
i think he's catfishing and suicide-baiting posters on niche kink subreddits at this very moment
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moeblob · 4 months
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Every single time I draw for an anime I think to myself "never again will I draw for an anime" and then I am proven wrong. So here, take my daughter Lulu.
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ganondoodle · 1 year
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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sciderman · 6 months
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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