#i of course did not say any of this bc i hate confrontation and all of us were in the fucking house

[thefinickyneighbour]

love when my best friend and housemate sending me messages bitching about my girlfriend to me by accident instead of one of her friends :)))

[alornights]

⟢ you took my soul.

➜ in which ! your beauty took their breath away.

💌 ﹫main 4 + butters stotch.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗none.

🍓 ⟡ notes — me when subliminals start working, tehehe. based on the jimmy & kyle pretty people drabbles i did. idk what im doing tbh.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ eric cartman.

hates you.

the guy was so confused about why you looked like you were glowing and why his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

death stared you the entire first week you moved to town.

he later confronts you asking if you do witchcraft. you obviously answer you don't. he thinks you're lying and got plastic surgery.

you say you didn't with like the prettiest smile he's ever seen. he takes your word for it and everyone was shocked.

since then he's been like a parasite who always seems to be stuck with you always there to shoo off anyone irrelevant.

thinks he has asthma bc every time he sees you his breath cuts short and fucking hates himself for "having" asthma.

has tried on multiple occasions to "get rid" of people who bothered you even in the slightest way.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kyle broflovski.

is actually so fucking flustered around you.

when he saw you in the cafeteria walking in he couldn't take his eyes off you the entire time, even with his friends calling for him.

if you even give him the slightest hint you're into him, he will take matters into his own hands and just brag to everyone.

for funsies of course.

deffo helps you away from any unwanted eyes, help meaning may literally threaten them in the worst ways possible.

when he's around you its like he's in a daze for him, he just feels like he's on cloud nine and is living the best life ever.

suddenly becomes the most romantic person ever, not that he wasn't already. but like hella cheesy hopeless romantic.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ stan marsh.

the classic and boring response is a throws up. but he actually doesn't do that contrary to popular beliefs.

he faints instead!

he thought he died since he saw an angel and then his vision went black but he thought hey at least that meant hed be in heaven.

he is stunned when he wakes up in the nurse's office and sees you worried about him of all people.

is like a stuttering mess but he starts slowly but surely relaxing around you, still very nervous talking to you though.

has bragged very purposely in front of wendy that y'all are friends.

while he may not be good at romance, he does try. and by trying i mean he makes u a picnic and brings takeout.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kenny mccormick.

ay, he has a heart attack because of you.

kidding. but bro does feel his heart like- stop when he sees you walking down the halls like it's some rom-com movie.

instantly starts making moves on you, no hesitation.

doesn't matter whats going on, if he has the chance, hell take it.

at one point thought you were like his actual guardian angel because he had yet to die after meeting you.

still thinks you are and worships the ground you walk on.

very much one of those "ill do anything for you" but he actually will do anything for you, like seriously. just ask.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ butters stotch.

surprisingly the most normal of the bunch.

treats you like a normal human being thankfully.

though he does like stutter around you a lot but that calms down and he's usually back to his normal self in like a day or two.

is very much attached to you especially since his parents have

brags so much to the guys and tells them to "suck on these nuts bitch" because you don't hang out with them, ever.

has tried, and failed, to set up a date with you two. cried himself to sleep, and repeated this process for like a week.

it did work. at his house, in front of his parents! but it was kinda fun, you surprisingly got along with them very well.

[scribefindegil]

ok i'm soooo happy you talked about the mind control thing with the divine tree arc. it rubbed me the wrong way a lot and is the reason why i still don't really like dimple, even though i know it's an important story point and all, i feel like brainwashing is a huge violation and it was never really talked about afterwards. it also rubbed me the wrong way when mob wondered if he did something wrong by stopping the brainwashing even though it made peopl happy, like i feel like that's so disrespectful to autonomy and such (even though, it is a fictional story)

i really like what you're doing with the brassica heresy, with tsubomi taking center stage bc she is one of my faves, i'm really excited where it will go!

Okay. It is possible that you will not like what I have to say. That's fine; you don't have to agree with me and you certainly don't have to like a fictional character who has done fucked-up stuff.

That said.

I feel like you're approaching this with framing that's pretty at odds with the themes of the show. Everyone agrees that the brainwashing was bad. A lot of Mob Psycho characters have done things that are bad. Pretty much everyone I know spent most of the Divine Tree confrontation absolutely furious with Dimple. But the question is: Okay, a character has done something awful. Now what? A lot of people would say that the only solution is punishment and rejection, that Dimple has done something too terrible for him to remain a sympathetic character, and he needs to be exiled or killed or imprisoned or otherwise removed from the show.

But Mob Psycho 100 believes, completely and utterly, with its whole chest, with every arc and with every character, that there is nothing you can do that is so terrible that you are undeserving of human connection, that you are incapable of changing for the better. It believes that there is no fundamental, ontological difference between the people you hate and the people you love, between a terrorist trying to take over the world and a kid who lashed out once and accidentally hurt his brother. Which isn't to say that actions don't matter; obviously they do, and they have consequences. But regardless of what they've done, everyone is just a person. Everyone can grow.

And, crucially, it isn't interested in punishment. Did the character realize their mistake and begin to change? That's what matters. The show doesn't have people constantly rehash the bad things they've done; it just gives them the chance to stop and choose a different path. And Dimple does. Dimple realizes that his goal of godhood wasn't going to make him happy, but his friendship with Mob was.

And people can have boundaries; people can decide that they don't want to be associated with someone any more; forgiveness, in Mob Psycho, is always a choice. But it's a choice that the characters continue to make because the show values kindness and transformation.

So like, yeah, the brainwashing was truly, deeply horrifying. And Mob loves Dimple anyway. And I do too.

(Also, to your point about the LOL cult: Mob is extremely anxious about doing the right thing and specifically about following social rules. And those people did seem to be happy, so of course it makes sense that the fear that he made their lives worse is going to eat at him. That's why Reigen's there, to reassure him, to tell him "You saved some people that only you could have saved," to listen to him tell his story and say that no, those people weren't really happy, and he did something good and important and necessary by breaking the spell.)

[okthatsgreat]

ok Idk if ur like hiding spoilers so don’t answer any of this if u can’t but if u CAN please please tell me why the dating sim girls hate & ur omnipotence so much they want you dead!!!!! is it the same reason they hated the first one or different? is there a reason tamsin wants you to stay on script, knowing she’s not interested and likely doesn’t like the dating sim format she’s stuck in? id kill to play this lee

ID KILL TO MAKE THISSSSSSSSS GOD I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS!!!!!! SO MANY IDEAS THAT ARE FAR TOO AMBITIOUS

BUT i can say this a lottt of it revolves around the medium of video games/dating simulators in general. if that makes sense. like the typical dating simulator is over the course of a few weeks(??) or something, which you AS THE PLAYER are able to pop in and out of as well as restart and redo to your hearts desire. if you want a different ending then you can simply restart the week and get a different ending!! if you want to date a different girl or see all of her reactions to everything you say to her then you can do that!! that’s definitely what the LAST guy did. but the thing that at some point these four girls became AWARE he was doing that. they are the only four people in this soulless world that are AWARE that they are stuck in an endless, one month cycle that all bends to one guys whim. they had no control whatsoever about what happened because they were not created to drive the narrative forward. and protag 1 was a very bored player with a lot of free time

so at one point the npcs finally actually for real talk to each other outside of their “pre-set” dialogue. the first protag has been repeating ellies route for a while now and the others were initially resentful of her just because they for real do Nothing when their route isn’t being played. but then one day ellie goes This Sucks. and the other girls go This Sucks. and the plan is formed to confront protag 1, and whether they MEANT to murder him or not they ended up killing him, at drowsy creek which is where ellie’s ‘final date’ is. and they don’t have that long to feel terrible or anything, because the timeloop STOPS. like they actually DID IT. which is why so many of them look different when YOU show up— they were actually able to explore the world and grow as people!!!!

but then here YOU are!! the second protagonist! you have the same ability as the first guy, and suddenly all four of them are stuck in the EXACT same cycle. which is why your decisions are really important here— IMMEDIATELY a lot of them are thinking about killing you, because that clearly worked for the last guy. pushing wayyy too hard about the murder is gonna make them even MORE hostile, especially tamsin who is quite defensive (hence why she’s telling you to BACK OFF BUDDY). a lot of the endings of this game are them taking you out lmao, only for you to come righhtttt back. if you go through the game just trying to do a normal romance route, it’s likely you’re gonna get killed!! ESPECIALLY if you do ellie’s bc she’s so over it lmfao

in my dream beautiful universe where i am able to make this game, the “true ending” of the game involves the four characters waving you goodbye before the game gets uninstalled from your computer entirely. bc that is truly the only way of ending the cycle. they have to be removed from the context of a video game and the protagonist simply can’t exist

[doodlebloo]

I haven’t watched a single qsmp stream but I am FASCINATED by whatever gay ass trist Tubbo Underscore has managed to get himself into this time.

From what I’ve gathered: Tubbo is an inventor/smth else that's mildly illegal and Fred (who may or may not be a literal bear but most definately isn’t fully human, or at least didn’t start that way) is a capitalist/factory worker/cult member, I still can’t tell but I think whatever it is is morally dubious. Not for Fred I don’t think, but just in general. Also is Fred an NPC in the way the eggs are? I have no fucking clue how the eggs work either actually. Either way, Tubbo is down BAAAAAD but Fred is decidedly not since his feelings are still up in the air atm. There are letters (?) both for and against gay feelings being present. However, any progress on said feelings have been halted becasue Tubbo got stood up on a date (not sure what led to that) but he only got stood up cuz Fred got his ass kidnapped by some other capitalists/maybe the mafia/the owners of…something. Also Tubbo went to cry about it to everyone else even though he might be a wanted man (as in for crime not in romance unfortunately for him) becasue Quackity is the gayest homophobe as is typical of him. Now everyone is waiting for Tubbo to maybe go on a heartbroken murder spree of revenge and maybe find Fred?

Am I close or not at all? 

You're pretty close actually. Ik this wasn't an invitation but here's my Frubbo crash course for someone who has never seen QSMP:

Fred is an NPC, meaning a QSMP admin logs on and plays as him. Very similar to the eggs.

Everyone on QSMP lives on an island. Island is run by The Federation. They're low-key evil and torture and kidnap people and such. Not good.

Fred works for the Federation and he's like the highest level of worker you can be. He's different from the lower rank workers because he doesn't have a life outside of work, doesn't understand most emotions, etc. He also says he has done terrible things in the past.

qTubbo finds and befriends Fred (and names him Fred. Fred sticks with it). Fred struggles with this bc he doesn't understand why Tubbo is being so nice.

Fred is worried his boss will get mad he's talking to Tubbo. They start exchanging letters instead (and affectionately refer to each other as their PenPal.) They also exchange flowers with each letter and make sure the flowers have the right meaning in flower language. Letters are signed off as "Yours, Faithfully" and start with "Dear,"

Fred finds out that Tubbo is in love with him. He panics and says he doesn't feel the same. Tubbo then apologizes in his letter for making Fred uncomfortable and doesn't start it with "Dear Fred," just "Fred".

Fred says seeing the letter without the Dear made his stomach hurt.

Pretty soon Fred all but asks Tubbo on a date to the movies (the same date Tubbo had been trying to ask him on the whole time.) Tubbo insists it isn't a date because he doesn't want to make Fred uncomfortable. Fred is kind of disappointed but they still go.

Fred buys Tubbo's popcorn. They watch Wall-E (bc they're just like Wall-E and Eve.) After the movie they sit in the dark together just talking.

Philza and Fit interrupt their date by pranking them. Fred the object of Tubbo's gushing affection is officially introduced to Tubbo's friends. It's a lovely date. They plan another.

Tubbo waits very patiently for the date but Fred never shows up. He's miserable.

Quackity kidnaps Fred. Quackity (rightfully) Hates the Federation because they did extremely fucked up things to him. He thinks Tubbo is a traitor for dating a Fed worker. Fred tells Quackity that he and Tubbo are happy together. Quackity makes Fred write a letter saying he hates Tubbo.

Quackity goes undercover as Fred but finds net 0 information except the fact that all of Fred's coworkers ship Frubbo and think that "love is love ❤️" 💀

Quackity confronts Tubbo and gives him the letter from Fred. Tubbo doesn't believe it for a second, says that yes it's Fred's handwriting but that isn't the way he talks. Quackity dips and Tubbo frantically rushes to find Fred.

Tubbo searches for days but finds nothing but dead ends. He's on the verge of a murder spree. His two besties, Pac and Fit (who are low-key in love themselves) are 100% behind him.

Tubbo is thrown into the current QSMP event, purgatory, before he's able to find his love.

Also Fred uses any pronouns, and Tubbo is on the Federation's bad side bc he keeps making giant server breaking machines that they have to make him dismantle kekw

[axyer]

TW: Suicide/S/H mentions, abuse mentions, but an overall silly post

Dude it is UNCANNY how similar I am to Heart

Like I see a lot of Heart kinnies who relate to him a lot and I just think "man, it must be nice to have a healthy amount of similarities to him, because I sure don't"

For reference:

Besides the like fifty minor things in my Carrd, my immediate family is composed only of my twin brother and my mother.

My twin brother is, as you might assume, very similar to Mid; we used to get along! Then we grew apart. And in hindsight, throughout my entire childhood him telling me everything I did was for attention didn't really benefit me when I was older.

He's a very logical, often to a fault person; has pretty bad anger issues too, and issues with authority. He's what one would call a "Reddit Atheist", and is a very blunt person who has little regard for anyone he hurts the feelings of when he confronts them.

My mother is a lot like me, but not really in any good way. She's overly emotional, has so many bad things happen to her constantly, is driven by spite, and of course, threatens suicide constantly. I kid you not, when I came to her about self-harming she threatened to kill herself because of it.

Even more notably, my mother highly favours my brother for being lower-maintenance and makes sure I am well-aware that my brother is better than me because he causes less problems and costs less money (although "apparently" she loves us equally).

Away from venty territory, probably another really uncanny similarity is that I am literally photophobic.

For those who don't know what that means, no, I'm not afraid of light, the light hurts my eyes.

In my case, it's more irritation than pain, but can become painful if it's not treated adequately. I'm always wearing sunglasses when I'm out of my very dim house as a result, and blink a lot throughout the day.

School days would consist of a lot of requests to turn off the lights as well as a lot of visits to the nurse to ask for sunglasses.

This has been happening since at the latest sixth grade. Nobody knows why I have this, it's just been deteriorating very, very slowly, and isn't fun alongside my traditional visual impairment.

And you know who else avoids the light and is visually damaged by it and also is just generally visually-impaired? Mmhm.

Basically all of my negative qualities directly can be found in Heart, too.

Extreme anger, extreme sadness, suicidal ideologies, violent fantasies, trauma from an inescapable bad situation, sensitivity, weakness, impulsivity, envy, hatefulness, cowardice, helplessness, these are all essentially my worst qualities and Heart's. And even more akin to Heart, I have the potential to be logical! But I'm not taken seriously and am dismissed as emotional.

Not to mention that I'm a very baby-faced and young-looking person who acts younger than they are.

HECK I LITERALLY LOOK REALLY SIMILARLY TO CHONNY AS WELL (this you'll have to take my word for as I'm not leaking a photo of myself)

There's more but those are all the ones I'm gonna say rn bc I am LAZYYYYYYYY!

But yeah, I'm Heart you guys Heart in real life.

[mikeylivesattheend]

SO I finally read the first Unwind book by Neal Shusterman and wowowowow people were not lying it's so genuinely incredible. Like no joke, even if you read this goofy post read the first book. It's not perfect (looking at you 2007 era feminism) but it's haunting my thoughts. I don't think it will ever fade. And you know the one scene. You know.

What I'm saying is, even after reading (and starting the 2nd book) of this very grounded, fleshed out world, I had to look it up on a03. With Jason Todd 💀💀💀

It doesn't seem to exist so here's some AU ideas/HCs

Note: This is for fun, and I do not know the ending to the series. This post will spoil general plot points of the first and second books.

-Bruce is a moderate on unwinding. He would, of course, never unwind HIS kids but he trusts s c i e n c e and it follows logic

-just for fun, maybe the person who killed his parents was an awol unwind, and hes grateful that person was able to live on in a better form

-bruce wayne has great security, and the family is intense about preventing storked babies. But if a mother does try, they usually send at least 1k to help, and a lot of mothers go to his house to get some financial assistance

- dick traveled a lot, met a lot of different people. I think he met a lot of unwinds, and his parents were pro not murdering teens, but they couldn't house them for more than a day or two. The law pays more attention to transient spaces they can track after all

-all of this to say dick loved meeting and showing off to new people, and doesnt like the cops, and doesnt like that they get so scared. His parents/troupe influenced him a lot but no one has really said any of this aloud to him since he's so young. Hes never feared being unwound, not seriously.

-my ideal fic wouldnt be dick focused, so his character progression might be depressing here.

-he thinks unwinding is immoral, says it feels wrong, doesn't use words like soul. He is passionate about this issue when directly confronted, but he believes temporary help is the best he can provide.

-dick feels secure he wont be unwound for two reasons. Bruce knows hes too capable to be detained by cops. And dick knows that bruce couldn't live with himself if he condemned dick to a divided existence, no matter what his logic says.

-Unwinding is a huge blur of grey for batman in chaotic, unpredictable Gotham. For brucie wayne, clinking champagne glasses with a teenager's hands, complimenting an elderly investors washboard abs, unwinding is a fact of life. But for bruce wayne, the father, the son, unwinding would always be a prolonged muder. Bruce does not ponder those feelings deeply. He does all he can (he doesnt)

-Dick doesn't like that they rat on violent runaways/unwinding awols, but he knows they fill in lower gaps as goons. He hates it at first, and bruce does learn to ignore more. But dick learns the dangers of desperation. He meets nore people who agree with unwinding, tithes, and as he grows into larger scale problems/hero teams, he loses sight of the bigger government issue.

-all this to say, as an adult, dick does what all his parents did in a way (money, hidden spots he knows, advice he's picked up on) but his morals match bruces more than his parents. He thinks that tithing is okay if the kid is 17 and consents, understands that religion is personal, despises the state homes doing it the most (bruce has given so much to those leeches).

-i dont know enough about the teen titans to know how theyd feel, how that would impact dick, if he'd even /have/ the entire team or if some became unwound

-oh my god unrelated note clark as a teen, despite being very loved, was glad he was indestructible. Docs dont use kryptonite

-jason jason jason my boy jason. So yes unwind awols are pretty natural to him, working girls, hes against the process bc he knows a lot of families who do that to kids & he gets it

-in this au he could keep the canon backstory. It still hurts bc he especially feels then he was a burden, storked by one of willis' exes. Or he could be fully storked from the jump. His bio dad is dead, shelia is the only one alive. Bruce is more anti-shelia initially bc she storked him but he knows some people do want to see their kids later in life? This also impacts his early social clout, since storks are looked down on. Maybe especially so where he's a 'real' burden.

-hes a lot more intense than dick abt unwinds, is deeply paranoid bruce will unwind him and has to be reassured bruce would never personally do that. Jason doesnt want to use unwind body parts, but bruce will always choose jays life over his 'moral high ground.'

-honestly most of death with the family will feel the same, the main difference is Jay will have a guilty thought, wonder if it would have been better to let bruce unwind him, if robin should have served everyone (bruce did not threaten this, but kids have been unwound for a whole lot less).

- THE CRUX IS THAT JAY WAKES UP WHOLE BRAIN IN NEW BODY HORRIFIED HEHEHEGED

- this au uses the movie version of utrh with talua stuff, but add in that the brain cannot automatically connect to the body, this is very untested, and it takes like a year to make it work at all. No laz pit, the body is a military buff 16 year old but not excessively violent yaknow

-he still loses it bc "oh my god I was unwound, how did this happen? did bruce do it? no no? he couldnt. i died. where am i? talias oh shit - gotta go fast yeet"

- he goes to gotham, doesn't try to kill bruce but does realize how fucked he is. He can barely open doors, has to think constantly to walk. After moping for a while talia finds him, offers to train him, explains he was meant to be a gift. Jay says he doesnt want to go back to bruce, talia fucked him over, she seems guilty so the training still happens, mainly as an urge to finish what she started, and maybe fulfill that initial goal someday

- im the most torn on this bc i think jason would never want to risk being their guinea pig again.

-he does not kill anyone until its a parts pirate. Talia sent him to increasingly pro unwinding people to force his hand for sure. Either to have a reason to cut him off, or to make their moral worldviews align more.

-Jay is def vaguely suicidal, self disgust. So this is punishment for him + scumbags. It also puts the body to a purposeful use, in honor of the kid.

-body dysmorphia duh btw. After this im extra fuzzy on details for jay

- i want him to be part of the anti divisional group, I want him to be a more community driven hero. But is that really in character for him? How would the unwinding world impact his priorities? Would he operate in gothan as the red hood, work as a human trafficker to save those kids?

- this is also the reason I'm not focusing on characters that come after jason much. His impact would need to be felt in some way in the stories, but I dont know where yet

-i think tim is part of a much, much larger family here and he didnt go to a fancy school. In canon his grades are mid, and even tho his parents love him, he has a lot of competition.

- him being robin makes his life a lot harder. Maybe after jack +janet die the gov actually orders most of the kids to be unwound bc state ho budgets etc. The uncle thing is very legitimately needed lmao

- steph storks her baby yes, but now she's able to keep track of their life in a really unhealthy way.

-i don't know enough about babs to know how she'd feel. I think she might be for it, she might even heal her spine with it. But I'm not sold on that fully

-cass is radically anti unwind. She does go to bruce, but honestly in this au she might leave because he does condone it through his inaction

- the justice league must be pro unwinding for conflict in this world to work, and finding out the reasons for that would be so interesting. Hell maybe the justice league wouldn't really be a thing at all, with such clashing morals.

-and idk how unwind ends so no fuckin clue on resolving the conflict AND adding superheroes

Sorry this was so long, and for at least 5 typos. Please steal my ideas and write a better fic than i can ty 😘😘😘

I'll probably end up adding more jason details to this if/when I find a game plan for jay or finish the unwind dystology

[theninthdoor]

Can you do bad sides/questionnable reading for enhypen as well ? (Like you did for BTS) Thank youuu :)

again... before you read: make sure that you take everything with a grain of salt and put your common sense to good use! no human being is 100% angel; no one is perfect + some of these things we, ourselves, do or think of doing from time to time. still, if anyone is expecting idols to be some sort of perfect demi-gods, the internet might not be for you 💘 also, of course, i’m not claiming anything as facts. feel free to dismiss my interpretations, if you wish.

Heeseung || the devil, page of wands: Uhh… a little manipulative? He knows what to say to push people's buttons. Plus, might take his jokes a little too far sometimes, too. While said joke might be making someone uncomfortable, if he's not yet satisfied with it, he's not gonna stop. What's funny for him often isn't funny for others, and he might fail to notice that. It could also happen that others feels pressured to laugh at those jokes or go along with his antics just so they aren't the next victim. (mind you, I don't think he's malicious with it, necessarily… he may just lack the maturity or self-awareness to recognize what's reaaally happening)

Jay || the temperance, ace of pentacles: Jay might have a hard time stepping out of his comfort zone, and so he tries to mold people into what better fits said comfort zone. If he thinks something is the best of its kind (i.e.: a restaurant or a style of jeans), he will want everybody to have the same opinion or follow his own. Passive-aggressiveness might also be an issue here.

Jake || three of swords, ace of swords: Knows how to hit a raw nerve, and might do it more often than he should. He's the type to remember things/secrets a person has told him and use that against them later on, specially when they have hurt his feelings. Will bring up people's past mistakes, too, for sure… Plus, once you hurt him, he'll make sure you know it and acknowledge it!

Sunghoon || four of wands, eight of cups: Escapism; faking it. Fakes his personality and/or tastes and preferences in order to fit in. Would rather run than confront others over things that have upset him. Might also be the type to say one thing in front of the larger group of people, and then go and say another in private to someone he trusts.

Sunoo || wheel of fortune, ace of wands: Unpredictable. Always looking for the next big thing. He just isn't very commited to stuff, specially if something else more interesting or promising comes up. It may be hard to get him to follow through with an idea or plan - it's a "do it now or you may never actually do it" type of thing. He just loses interest very easily, it seems.

Jungwon || ace of pentacles, eight of swords: I wouldn't necessarily say close minded, but more like… short-sighted? He rejects things/ideas/people too fast upon a first impression, and doesn't give them the opportunity to unravel into something that, perhaps, he'd find really quite interesting. For example, if 7 years ago he found a 12-in-1 shampoo that worked for his needs, in those 7 years he has never accepted any other shampoo suggestion and will shit-talk all other options… you won't get him to change his mind bc, honestly, he doesn't care. It might be better for him and give him better results but, instead of considering that, he's thinking about NOT getting what this 12-in-1 provides for him right now. Besides that, he may also be a little material focused and reject some opportunities in order to focus on work, to save money, or simply because he thinks it's below himself.

Ni-ki || three of swords, king of wands: Lol… he plays the victim very well! Ni-ki knows how to use his acting skills to get what he wants, for sure… Dramatic. Pushy. Hates it when people don't pay attention to him - OR when they don't give him the amount of attention he thinks he deserves. "My way or the highway… unless you wanna hear me whine about it for a month, of course".

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[yallemagne]

So, on a plane yesterday, I skimmed through the rest of P.N. Elrod's book, Quincey Morris, Vampire.

It's not very good. It's poor fanfiction. I do not support attacking fanfic writers or the stereotype of fanfiction being the epitome of bad writing (most of my writing is fanfiction and I'm rather proud of some of it [some bc a good deal of my older work is amateur]), but it's a rather amateur plot where Elrod spends the entire book rewriting the book she's supposed to be building off of, not desecrating.

Now, Elrod has quite a few vampire books, so I think this story is just a self-indulgent take on a neat lil idea she had, but she felt the need to discard all of Bram's vampire lore and all of Bram's plot and squish her own in. I respect Elrod as a fellow fanfic writer, but I don't respect her character assassinations of Jonathan and Renfield and the attempts to justify the assault of Lucy and Mina. Though I guess that Dracula was an unreliable source? Hopefully, the intention was not for the reader to take Dracula's claims seriously.

Since I skimmed, I cannot say that I am the best source. I did read the beginning part up until Dracula starts claiming Jonathan is an insane adulterer. Then I just couldn't take any of it seriously. I mean, I couldn't really take it seriously when Dracula and Quincey were just... having a calm conversation but whatever.

Spoilers of course.

So, in the story, Quincey's body is dragged from the sleeping team's side by wolves and they cannot find him once they wake. Why did the wolves drag him? Because Dracula is apparently alive and has figured out that Quincey is a vampire. Dracula blackmails Quincey into coming with him back to his castle. If he had refused, Dracula would have murdered Quincey's whole team.

And yet after that, the book tries to claim that Dracula was secretly in the right the entire time.

Dracula has green eyes. It has no plot relevance, I don't believe Quincey remarks on the change from red to green, it's just a dumb detail that keeps being shoved down our throats.

Through Dracula's guided questions, Quincey realizes that a woman he had sex with years ago that drank his blood and forced him to drink hers was a vampire (apparently she's also a character from one of Elrod's other books). Why didn't he change into a vampire sooner? Dracula claims there are two different types of vampires, and he's the cooler one while Quincey is the lamesauce one. So Quincey only has to drink animal blood. Quincey worries that his tainted blood may have killed Lucy but Dracula's like "... nah".

Quincey confronts him on everything, but Dracula has a bullshit answer for anything. I feel the only bearable way of reading this is the interpretation that Dracula is gaslighting Quincey. Quincey says "you killed Lucy, you fed on her repeatedly and she died of blood loss". Dracula says "no that was your fault. she would have gotten better if you just left her drained of blood". Dracula claims that Mina's still gonna become a vampire, but bc she wished hard enough I guess she got to not be hated by God anymore. And he claims he broke off his connection with her amicably, and they're totally cool now.

He claims that he was in the right to kill Renfield because Renfield was a madman and would have hurt the team... when he only attacked Dracula in defence of Mina. This is so damn ableist. Dracula, you can't claim self-defence when you are a fucking vampire with the power to hypnotize people. That was a gratuitous use of force against a mentally ill man that was of no great threat to you.

Worst of all, when told of Jonathan's account of the Weird Sisters assaulting him, he's like "oh, I didn't interfere. I watched. they had their way with him several times. and he liked it. I mean, he had an ensuing mental breakdown, but he was totally down with being raped in his sleep every night." He claims that Jonathan was just oversensitive to the paranormal and that everything he wrote in his journal was delusions. He gaslights Jonathan. Apparently, there were servants in the castle. Dracula, you fucking twit, that would be the strangest thing to fucking lie about, and you know it. When questioned why he locked Jonathan in his castle and left him for dead instead of taking him to Whitby with him, Dracula waves his hand like "eh. couldn't. don't ask me to elaborate. I'm still an amazing host."

Quincey later denies Dracula's claims about Lucy's death being all their fault, but he never contradicts the claims about Mina and Jonathan. In fact, he constantly repeats the part about Jonathan being oversensitive. So? He agrees with Dracula that Jonathan and Mina being assaulted was okay? He agrees with the ableist notion that Renfield needed to be "put down". Maybe I just skimmed over a part.

Dracula forces Quincey to drink animal blood and stuff. Shows him the ropes. Quincey goes out and actually finds Arthur and Jack still grieving him. He does not reveal himself. I was glad that Arthur and Jack don't have their characters assassinated. They end up shooting a wolf and Dracula gets mad and Quincey is like "you literally had my body dragged away by wolves, they were acting in retribution, you don't get to kill them for it".

Blah blah I dunno, Quincey moves back to London. He tries out his cool vampire powers to harass some lower-class people. He bites a sex worker (super uncomfortable with this part, he says himself that he felt betrayed by the fact his vampiric paramour forced vampirism onto him without his consent while he was in the throws of passion, and he does it to someone else?) He meets Elrod's OC.

Bertrice Holmwood is a Mary Sue. Okay? She's a manic pixie dream girl, she's a strong independent woman that needs no man (except that she sorta blackmails Quincey into sleeping with her), and she doesn't feel like a real human being.

She's yet another hastily shoved-in plot device. She's Arthur's older sister by exactly one year and her whole deal is that she's the black sheep of the family because she's a girlboss. Ugh. She's less of a character and more of Elrod's vague idea of a cool woman.

"Black sheep", Arthur loves her! They're on good terms and they're very protective of one another. She's not ostracized at all. But here's the thing, if she always existed and she and Arthur had such a close relationship, why was she never mentioned in the original book? Now, I'm not gonna get mad that Bramothy didn't make Elrod's OC canon. I'm gonna get frustrated that Elrod so poorly shoved her in. If Arthur is not an only child, why did all the managing of his father's funeral fall to him? Why was she never present or mentioned in scenes pertaining to Arthur's grief? Because she's not... real. And it doesn't fit the original story for her to be real.

I would have vouched for her role in the story if she had been Jack's secret sister instead. Jack having a sibling that he doesn't really interact with during the course of Dracula is realistic because he has a job and he's not a noble. You could even make her Quincey's sister visiting from Texas upon receiving news of Quincey's death. But. Well. They're not Alabamian so the sex would be out of left field then /j.

She is told the events of the book and is like "I'm gonna kill VH for hurting my baby bro" and like. Fair. Honestly, I appreciate that the book calls out VH's manipulation methods instead of trying to twist it like VH was the secret evil all along and Dracula was the good guy. It seemed like that was how it was gonna play out in the beginning, but Quincey empathizes with VH while still criticizing his methods. It's a human take on VH. Sucks what Elrod did to Renfield, Mina, and Jonathan, though.

Bertrice hangs out with Quincey a lot, but my eyes glazed over for those parts bc of all the written-out lower-class accents. Despite her being rich, she hangs out in exclusively the slums of London apparently. It makes her less likeable honestly. Stop gentrifying the neighbourhood, Bertrice. But one scene I did read was when she took him to a fortune teller that used tarot cards to explain his whole situation. One of them was "you've been lied to" and from Quincey's later insistence that Lucy's death was none of their faults, I think he rightfully took it to mean that Dracula was lying? But he doesn't apply that logic to his interpretation of Mina and Jonathan's story, nor Renfield's death...

Quincey reaches out to Arthur and Arthur is a bit spooked.

Arthur: You're dead! You're a vampire! Begone! Quincey: I'm actually a good vampire. 'Just drink animal blood. Arthur: You're lying! Quincey: I'm not. Arthur: Oh, okay. It's good to have you back.

Quincey tries to talk to Van Helsing, but Van Helsing refuses to believe him. Jack on the other hand...

Jack, on the other side of a door: Quincey, is that you? Quincey: Yeah. Jack: If it is you, open this door. Quincey: Okay, but don't freak out. VH: DON'T LISTEN TO HIM HE'S A MONSTER. Quincey: *opens door* Hey. Jack: Ah, hey bud, good to see you again.

It's funny how easily Jack accepts that Quincey is alive and totally chill, especially with VH screaming at him that it's all lies. You would think that he'd at least be equally as unsure as Arthur. VH storms out I think, and Quincey explains to Jack everything-- that VH is probably just defensive bc if Quincey is a vampire and totally chill, that opens the door to the possibility VH was wrong about Lucy. But he restates numerous times that Lucy was dead, she died of blood loss, the Bloofer Lady was not Lucy because that vampire fed off of children, and there was no part of Lucy left to reason with.

VH apparently kidnapped Arthur and Bertrice. Why? I dunno, because he was paranoid about Quincey. But he cages them and that's just super weird. Quincey tries to remedy this by having Jack reason with VH. When that doesn't work, Quincey tries to reason with him with a *bit* of hypnotism. It doesn't work. VH shoots him several times in the chest and, assuming Quincey is dead, crosses himself and leaves.

Quincey isn't dead, he's fine.

Uh? The End? The Harkers never show up, so they're unable to defend themselves against Dracula's claims against them. It really frustrated me. And of course, Renfield couldn't defend himself, and Quincey only barely argues on his behalf before blindly believing Dracula. VH serving as an antagonist felt okay seeing as he's not vilified, he's just painted as a grieving, irrational old man. That's realistic. Except for his kidnapping of Arthur and Bertrice... which was just... so melodramatic.

Also just... so I mentioned that Bertrice and Quincey have sex and it was kind of coerced. I don't recall when this happened, it's really that pointless to the plot. So Bertrice springs it on Quincey that she knows he's a vampire, and in the high stress of that confrontation, she asks him to have sex with her and bite her. He does. Eh.

All in all, the book kind of reads like a very self-indulgent work of fanfiction. Whatever Elrod wished to put into the story, she put in with disregard to the actual events of the book she was basing her work off of. It honestly wasn't the worst Dracula fanfiction I'd ever read, though the victim-blaming was atrocious. I appreciate that Bertrice was a bit more than just a fuck-buddy for Quincey. Her protectiveness over Arthur is a bit of a character trait. I also like that the Suitors are still bros. The conversations between Jack and Arthur that Quincey listened in on felt like I was reading a better story for a bit, their friendship felt real.

[sxtaep]

You only got horny once? That means that you're purer and better than most of us here 😭😭😭😭😭😭. What did tht guy do to ruin you? 👀

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING BUT WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE NEED SOME TMI AROUND HERE 😭😭😭

it’s probably nothing serious and petty to some of you BUT THIS FUCKED ME UP DIFFERENTLY 😭

get ready for a long, boring story time guys

tw: jahanara being fucking stupid

ok i’ve mentioned this guy before, but let’s call him X for this storyline 😭

so, me and X have known each other since we were 11, we went to the same secondary school and ended up going to the same college. we weren’t close in secondary school, he was just a classmate and a mutual friend and that was it really.

going round to september 2020 when college started, that’s when we found out that we went to the same college and a lot of our mutual friends also joined us there so that’s when we started getting close along with our other friends.

it all started with a game of among us and then a server on discord where we used to play and talk everyday 😭 it was really fun and i guess that stemmed my liking towards him?

he was so nice and funny and he’d always be nicer to me compared to everyone else in our friend group and that just threw me totally off-guard.

in college when we’d meet up before/after our classes, we’d be with the rest of our friends just chilling and stuff or we’d be walking home together talking about the most random things (mostly aot).

now now, everyone in our friend group knew that i used to write smut and ffs and stuff so they’d always tease me about it, but he in particular would ask me questions like “how do you come up with this stuff?” “are you even into any of the things you write?” and i’m guessing he used that against me later on, you’ll see.

i think around December 2020 was when i became absolutely certain that i had a crush on him and IT WAS KILLING MEEE and it was the night of my birthday, i was talking to my close friends and i told them i was gonna confess just to get it off my chest and they were very onboard and supportive about it, so i messaged him.

surprisingly, he was very nice and normal about it which was weird because he’s the most unemotional person in the world 😭 but yeah, he said he appreciates it but he wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything and he’s more focused on his studies and i reassured him like “oh, i’m not looking for a relationship either, i’m just telling you to get it out of the way.”

like genuinely, i didn’t want a relationship, YOU GUYS KNOW ME 💀😭 but yeah, and he goes “you deserve someone a lot better than me anyway,” which made me go ??? wow really?

we ended the conversation on a good note and basically got on with our lives as normal.

two weeks go by and suddenly he’s being so distant towards me?? he was actively speaking on the groupchats we were in and taking to other people but whenever i tried to speak to him ON THE GROUP CHAT, he’d just ignore me and i was thinking ????? ok then, what did i do to him?

it got quite bad to the point where he’d just be openly rude to me and making unsolicited jokes towards me (and other people) so we were all like what the hell???

he also VERY SPECIFICALLY SAID “jahanara is not funny” which tbh idrc about bc a lot of my irls say i’m the least funniest in the group 😭 but my mates were still there to defend me like their lives depend on it (love them fr 😭) and then he goes again, “jahanara is not funny. at all.” IM LIKE DAMN DUDE WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?

of course i ignored it and didn’t say anything because i HATE confrontation so i just left it.

X was close with my friend L, so she asked him why he was being so rude and distant to me and he goes “i didn’t want jahanara liking me because i knew she would end up hurt, so i made it seem like i’m a dickhead,” AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA 💀💀💀 it was not.

around february 2021, i was getting very very excited for the grammys because i thought bts would win and so i put a poll on my snapchat story that said ‘if bts win a grammy, i will _____’

that gained a lot of traction and people were sending crazy suggestions and one of my close friends was like “you should masturbate” AND I WAS LIKE GIRL???? ARE YOU FR???

and she was dead serious SO AS A JOKE, i added that onto the poll and everyone voted for that option because everyone saw me as the overtly horny virgin for bts that has never touched herself before because she’s scared 😭😭

i think a day before the grammys, everyone on the groupchat was talking about it, even the non-armys in our friend group were so invested in me doing this if bts won 😭 and they were all giving me tips and stuff and suddenly X goes “message me when you do it.”

i didn’t think much of it because my best friend also told me to message her when i do it which was so embarrassing 💀😭

so the grammys start, it’s about 2am march 15th 2020, and i’m sitting there waiting for them to announce who on, and of course, bts lost. i was bummed that they didn’t win but i thought fuck it, let me just do it once and get it over with because im an adult, how have i not done it before?

i send a snap of myself with a thumbs up to my best friend and X and i was like “wish me luck guys” and i was shitting bricks 😭

obviously i didn’t know what to do or how to start, but X responded to my snap straight away and he asked me if i knew what to do and i said no 💀 and i guess he kind of… got me started????

this is so embarrassing but he did actually help me get in the mood, he texted me a bit, yk just telling me how to get started AND I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER MY HEAD BUT I SENT HIM NUDES 😭😭😭😭 LIKE NOT FULL ON FRONTAL NUDES, JUST LIKE…. A TITTY PIC OR TWO. OR THREE (bare in mind, i genuinely thought he was helping me because he liked me back 3 months after i confessed).

like seriously, idk what possessed me to send him nudes, i think i was very h word and gripped onto the fact that he may have actually had feelings for me 😭

he screenshot all of them and he was feeding me with so many compliments and praise and yk pulling the whole “pretty girl” “good girl” thing and that really got me going 😭

OH AND THEN HE PHONED MEEEE AND HE GUIDING ME THROUGH THE PHONEEEE AND THAT DID IT FOR ME that was the first time i actually felt very GENUINELY turned on, LIKE I WAS ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, THIGHS LITERALLY SHAKINGGGGG AND THROBBING AND I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE IS THIS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO FEEL??????

he was also… getting off too, i heard it all so that also blinded me into thinking he had feelings for me too 💀💀💀

he was doing the whole “if i was with you rn, i’d treat you so good” blah blah blah yk? the usual stuff, and i’m pretty sure we were at it for a good 40 minutes before wrapping up because i genuinely couldn’t finish and i hear a lot of women don’t finish often so i figured it was normal.

we said goodnight to each other and ended the call and the next day he sends a message on the groupchat and he goes “how was it, jahanara?” and i didn’t know what to say so i just went “yep, good. very good.” like we were playing this 'lets keep this between ourselves'.

i fully thought he liked me back after that night 😭 bro i was so blind 💀

i ended up telling my best friend because she has no other friends fr she’s my ride or die, so i just told her and the keeping it a secret thing didn’t last because one of X’s friends messaged me asking about it and i was like ….. how do you know?

turned out, X told his friend about it WHICH IMMEDIATELY GOT ME THINKING, OH NO WHAT IF HE SHOWED THE PICS I SENT??? so i messaged him asking him to delete them and he did, with proof, thank god .

everyone ended up finding out about what happened that night so everytime it was mentioned, it was just so awkward between us.

this all happened during the december-march 2021 lockdown we had and the lockdown ended on the 17th so i saw him that day it was so awkward being around him after that, i just knew things would never be the same.

i’d say around may, he started gaining an interest in one of my friends (a very close online friend) let’s call her D after i posted a photo of her on my story.

he kept asking questions about whether she had a boyfriend and stuff and me being me, completely impartial, i told him no, she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and then he wanted to add her on snap so i gave it to him.

i checked in with my friend D and she said she was fine being added by him and she had absolutely no interest in him the way he did AND she knew i liked him so she was never going to pursue anything anyway.

she added him back and X was trying to flirt with her and D thought it was the most embarrassing thing ever trying so hard to win her over.

he spent a good couple weeks chatting her up and begging for photos (nudes, duh) and she didn’t give them so he kind stopped with all the messages.

i knew everything because D was telling me what he was doing and i thought… God wtf? is this who i really like?

a lot of our friends found out about it and confronted him going “why would you go after jahanara’s friend begging for nudes when you know she still likes you?” and he got so much shit for it he took it out on me, again, being rude and making insensitive comments about everything and from there everything just fizzled.

i removed him everywhere, snapchat, instagram, his number, discord etc etc and he did the same apparently i couldn’t care less.

he became this guy that was so hard to talk to without getting attacked for no reason and he started spewing all this shit about what happened on grammys night, and just talking so much bs but me being me, i didn’t say anything about it or confront him about it so i just left it and let everyone else say what they wanted.

throughout 2021/22 everything died down, the groupchat became less active, people were talking a lot less, X was still bitching around me and being rude but whatever. everyone started uni so the groupchat actually died out so now interactions are very scarce.

this whole story pretty much stemmed my dislike towards males and relationships and sexual encounters. i haven’t even ATTEMPTED to be intimiate with myself since march 2020 because i’m always gonna be reminded of him and what he did, telling all his mates about it and what-not.

can’t even bring myself to wear the same pyjamas i wore that night because it makes me feel icky ☹️

but ye, that’s the story in balamory 😁 hope you guys enjoyed 😁👍

bared my titties for someone that wasn’t bangtan, i can’t believe it

[reel-fear]

so many people seem to view me as some kind of Shockbee purist which I think is so funny bc I have vocally talked abt how Yes I think a Shockwave redemption via Bee reaching out to him would've been the best in terms of resolving the themes and ideas presented in TFA [Would've given Bee a chance to show what he does best, reach out to outcasts and befriend them/would've given the cons some much needed development/Would be an interesting arc for Bee to have in general/would've given Shockwave a significant role in the story that could help him not feel like just the goon who replaced Blitzwing]

HOWEVER, I think any kind of decent confrontation/drama coming from the whole Longarm n Bee friendship plotline would've been amazing. I have seen like a few comics where Shockwave and Bee confront each other on the moon on their own [bc why was Bulkhead there, he did not have to be there, Bulkhead you've never even said hi to Longarm go away you are not a part of this-] and Bee gets angry with Shockwave throwing accusations at him and Shockwave just metally TEARS into Bee. AND I LOVE THAT SHIT, do I love it as much as shockbee? No, but I would give my fucking kidney to erase Wasp's entire plotline and replace it with Shockwave using the connection Bee and Longarm had to mentally destroy Bee.

Just imagine it, Sari is there on the moon, watching the battle, so is Ratchet and they watch as Shockwave defeats Bee, before he stands over him and laughs. Sari and Ratchet are confident Bee can defeat him but Shockwave starts talking about how that's a stupid idea, because not even Bee thought he could win this. Bee's faking all this confidence because he thinks it's what will make him loved by the people around him, but it's the very reason why now they will all hate him. Longarm was the only person who truly believed in Bee and he wasn't real. Because how could anyone believe in Bee when he himself doesn't? Bee's just as fake as Longarm was, but Longarm was the amazing head of intel and Bee even when he faked everything about himself never ammounted to anything but an annoying failure, a broken cog. Nothing more than a Bumbler who everyone was right about. And Bee can't bring himself to say anything bc in his mind it's all true and of course the only friend he would open up to about such feelings HAD to be the one who would throw it back in his face and expose it to his loved ones, right before he probably goes offline...

I would give SO much to see that play out in the show

[lila-rae]

Did you lose some friends after getting married? One of my best friends of 10+ years got married this summer and we used to be super close, talking everyday but that slowly changed after she started dating this guy, her first bf. I always felt like I was the one reaching out and then she would respond days later or not at all. She even forgot my bday until days later even tho we celebrated together every year before that. We had a conversation about all this when she asked me to be a bridesmaid bc I honestly told her I didnt expect her to ask bc of how distant we had become which was so hard for me cuz I hate confrontation and it ended in tears for both of us but also promising that we would both work on our friendship to be close again. She even apologized and admit she had put her other relationships on the back burner (which wouldnt irk me as much if he was doing the same thing but his friends are always around at their place and hers never are) It worked for a bit but again it became me always reaching out so I stopped to see if she would. She did after a month and when I responded a day late saying im ok and sorry for responding late bc life has been a lot, she never responded. Its like nothing has truly happened between us but I just feel abandoned. There’s really only history there and no real friendship

I’m sorry that’s happening.

So because my marriage also coincided with graduating undergrad and moving 8 hours away from most of my friends I’ll admit I’m not as close with any of my bridesmaids as I once was. However I’m also a person that has never been a daily conversation person. I text my best friend more now that we live 3k miles apart but it’s still only like once or twice a week.

I think friendships are hard as you age and they have to keep constantly evolving. It’s never going to be like when you were in school cause more than likely you’re not seeing them every day. But unfortunately sometimes growing up also means knowing when a relationship has run its course and that’s okay. It may be a temporary end of it could be permanent but if you’ve talked and nothings changing you’ve ultimately got to make the decision that’s best for you.

🫂 & 💕

[simmonsized]

Okay, I was going to write something about how I was happy about how you approached the subject matter with Bro and Dave in TRaG

But

My mind suddenly remembered what their sprites freaking look like.

I think about Bro Strider a lot (along with the complexity of the other characters) and then *boom*, I remember what he looks like in the comic.

Damn you fanart!!!!

TBH i was just showing my friend some of the homestuck pages to be like "look do u see do u see" and of course they're just like. their dumb big heads and lil bodies but somehow that just makes it all the better bc i know sO many people who are like "I couldn't get into homestuck because nothing happens" and i'm like yes but nothing happens in a SATISFYING way anyway their sprites are dumb but i still love them

ALSO: you were "going to write something" but you have already said enough to set me on my path here we are grab my hand welcome to nam etc etc etc

This really only encompasses Dave the God's relationship with Bro but like. It'd be too long to talk about Dave the Used to Be Sprite so! Forgive me.

WARNING: this post is 2000 words, I cannot and will not cut it shorter. If it's killing your dash, I'm begging you, mute me, or block the post.

Here we go!

Okay, so the thing is, when it comes to Bro, I have a really complicated history with him. Because obviously for YEARS he was the fandom darling, and we all kinda brushed off the fuckin' training and shit because that's just like, anime hullabaloo, the concept that he was preparing Dave for the game, but then also, when you take a step back and look at it, it's not like Dave KNEW there was a game at all??? and like. okay so just straight up right now i'm saying this FUCK hussie but these particular notes in book 2 of homestuck

kinda really changed things about the way we look at Bro as a person, as well as Dave's conversation with Dirk, though that comes along later. No comment on that line about Bro apparently """training""" Dave to take on the final boss. Because. Well. Lmfao. (Notes above are from Beatdown Rounds 1 and 2 in book 2 of Homestuck)

Enter: Dirk and Dave's conversation, basically the beginning of my insane deep dive into all things Strider, and dealing openly with abuse, past abuse, and recovery from that abuse.

obviously I cannot post the whole convo, it's easier for people to just read it BUT some highlights for context:

The start of it for me of course was "and he's dead now so that's that"

which is like. Kind of how it actually is when you have a parent (or insane older brother who is actually your parent) who dies but you're unable to EVER discuss your relationship with them or even confront them on all the horrible shit that went down, if you ever get to that point at all.

And because Bro was like, basically a giant fucking deadzone of just. Nothingness in terms of Dave's brain, when it came to any kind of positive emotion, it just??? Man that's one of the most interesting things about their relationship to me. Dave says "i think he hated me" but it really feels like, from their conversation, the fact that Bro did not express any kind of emotion at ALL led to what Dave felt must be fucking LOATHING. Man. I feel terrible for typing "and i find that fascinating" but i do so. lol

Insert "violent robot" comment here lol

also i know people have Opinions about Bro and his smuppets but tbh I don't want to fucking hear them when Dave was running around with a tiny smuppet butt walkytalky on his fucking wrist and also, when Dirk, mr "They're a funny little critter of your own design" Strider is sitting right fucking there so. Anyway that's all u need to know about that.

okay i lied i'm posting like the whole conversation i realize that u know but it's just

man it's right there lol

i LOVE that Dave associates Bro with the concept of heroism and being a savior of some kind, because in truth, it is likely that beneath all the bullshit, and even in line with the fear, there is a good chance Dave did admire Bro, to a point, until he had time to sit back and realize, "hey, what the FUCK was up with my childhood??? and wait, this isn't actually funny at ALL."

What's (not) funny to me is that, I don't much think of Bro as the kind of person who saw himself as a hero at all, and I say as much in RNG, but for him, and yes, this is a fucked up thing to say, I see it as: he saw raising Dave as A Job He Needed To Do, and everything in between Didn't Matter. We'll get more into this and the Dirkesian aspects of Dave's upbringing, even without Lil Cal, if anyone ever asks me about my genuine honest to god Bro Strider Personality Discourse but like. Basically dude's hells of about efficiency, and this is evidenced in the way that Dirk tends to push his friends, sometimes past the point of their personal comfort levels, in order to achieve a goal. I hardly feel like I'm reaching here.

And you know it does matter to me, that even though he is saying this to Dirk, he still says, "I didn't like you very much" because it's SUCH a thing with complicated relationships, it's SO much ingrained in our upbringings to love our parents, even if they completely fuck us up, irreparably. Am I saying that you HAVE to love your abusive parent??? dude FUCK no like, everyone's situation is different and there are always going to scenarios where broaching the subject is impossible, or something you don't want to do but

Well. It's my fucking fic and my take so! I have decided we're doing it, we're making it happen etc

Enter: Lil Cal and the potential for?????? Whatever was going on there

Obviously in RNG we take Lil Cal and Caliborn's tendency towards disgust for any kind of positive emotion, platonic or otherwise, and like, ok not to shit on caliborn i know that guy is just a little kid but lil cal is like, basically intended to be representative of Bad Things in the homestuck world so it's like. That's where we're at u know. Gestures above where it says "theoretically the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever" And u know yes this doll also had AR inside it, as well as Equius so???????? Fucking dude who KNOWS what's goin on with lil cal. Nothing good?????? Anyway

So then now that we have all this context, we take Dirk Strider, and we isolate him even further than previously thought possible, we give him the "theoretically most evil doll to exist in any universe ever," we wind him up, we watch him go.

That creates a baseline for my own personal little Bro guy which is "Dirk Strider with a Singular Purpose" and whose purpose was only to "Raise Your Player to Survive The Game" with a side of, man part of Dirk's still gotta be in there because holy fuck does this guy LOVE PUPPETS. which is fine u know. puppets i mean. muppet references. wow.

Bro Thoughts, Bro in Relation to Dirk, etc. U know how it be.

OKAY SO: starting with "It doesn't change my past or how I feel about him.... and I'm sure that's the only feeling I'll ever have about him."

For me, this is an easy thing to say when this person is dead. It's exTREMELY EASY to say when you will never see this person again, or have a confrontation with them, or even have to like, address it in regards to an interaction that hides your true feelings but you know, deep down, that they hurt you.

Basically, homestuck ended, I'm happy Dirk and Dave met in the middle with something like Understanding and Solidarity, but I just. Was so angry about Davesprite. And also wanted to get all up in the relationship between the Daves and Bro SO, SO SOSOSOSOSOOO BAD.

So then I did!

And basically, along with being a guy with no purpose, who, for all intents and purposes, would literally rather be dead, it's super interesting because like. Bro is Dirk, and I know people vary on mind control versus influence, but I like to lean into the concept of some kind of Influence, or PUSH but also that Bro was very much in control of his actions, and knew, to a point, that he was doing what he was doing. I just genuinely don't think he believed it was wrong, or if he did KNOW it was wrong, he was not going to stop, because at the end of the day, he was seeing results. Is that cruel??? yes. Is it cruel to both of them???????? hell yes. But efficiency and work and results are the baseline for a successful session, and that's uh.

I think of Bro as a man of just like. Pantshittingly terrifying Control, a dude who not only cares about results from Dave, but from himself, and whether that's Cal or Dirk talking, who really knows!

think all the time about the time Hussie said that Bro has never slashed Dave with his sword. I know the fandom doesn't mention it much lol but it's always on my mind. No, punching and kicking your teenage bro-son is not better. But it's fascinating, that that's where he chose to draw the line.

Perhaps because as they said, sword strikes tend to end in people's deaths. Hmm.

Anyway since the Thesis of RNG is based around Reconciliation, but not necessarily forgiveness, at least not as an outright stated thing, we see a lot of just. Talking in circles, circling the drain, over and over. Naval gazing, I love it. Can you tell???

The thing with past abuse, about loving a parent who hurts you, is that you can still love them, after they hurt you, and You do not Have to Forgive them, but you can still love this person, and you can see hope to and seek change. You can still want a relationship with this person.

It's important to me that Bro seeks forgiveness. It is not Dave's (either of them) job to forgive him. There is a reason that (spoilers sorry) Bro says sorry in chapter like, fucking 14, but the fic keeps going anyway. "Sorry" is the beginning. "Sorry" is the start on a path towards better things.

Along with all this is Bro learning to be a person who no longer has a job to do. He's learning to be Dirk Strider again, something he hasn't really reckoned with since he was maybe, what, 13 years old?? His entire life has been dedicated to serving The Timeline, while not necessarily even being connected to his own aspect, at least not in a healthy way, and like. Once again this is not a Post About Bro Strider but bro in context of Bro and Dave so u know, but I do, again, see the guardians as the worst reflections of the kids themselves, and that goes fucking quadruple for Bro! He is the fucked up heart guy who severs connections and is tied up with strings, it is him.

On top of recovering personhood, though, he is also reconciling with (two of the same) a kid he not only abused, but potentially never loved, at least not in a way that makes sense to Dave, or sometimes to the reader. There is resentment, and there is frustration, and there is something to it, losing your own life at the expense of raising a kid. Yes, it's a comic about a video game, but I'm writing a fanfiction, and there is definitely something like overlap, in ineptitude and parenting from a young age. I still believe they had good memories, examples we see in the text where Dave talks about how he and bro had rap battles that were just throwing shit at each other's heads with their sylladices (dangerous) and like, building forts and shit. There is still softness, in the places in between.

But there was cruelty, too, and that's obviously the forefront of the whole situation, and it's so important for Dave to be brave enough to call his Bro out, to demand change, and it's important that Bro WANTS to connect with him, even if he doesn't know how. Even if he's so fucking shitty and sucks SO much.

Obviously a lot of what we learn is from Dave's perspective, and a lot of that comes at the marvel of, wow my Bro is back, and the concept of like, the Ultimate Reward being what the players wanted, and in RNG canon (fake) basically the kids just wanted to fucking. go home lol. John at least definitely deserves to have his dad back!

But Dave's (both daves) not just a little kid anymore, he's had 3 years of development and change and growth, and he has a way of looking at the world that differs vastly from how he grew up. Bro, someone he never knew but felt he knew, and then lost and didn't know all over again, is suddenly a Big Unknown, and that's??? fucking scary! Trying to reconcile with a person you love and fear is one thing, but doing that when you're learning you barely know them as a person at all, particularly because they were like, Just Your Guardian and you'd only known them from the shitty little kid perspective?? makes it tough. It's easy to say "i wish you were dead" it's hard to admit "I don't wish you were dead, I just wish you were better" and! That's kind of where we start lol

RNG has a lot of "three steps forward, two steps back" and as much as that frustrates people (and trust me, I see the comments, I know lol), that's just the way life is sometimes. They're on a set path, and Bro has to fucking learn not only his lesson, but that he can't just change because Dave(s) wants him to change. He has to change because HE wants to change, too.

[trentskis]

i do agree with what u said in ur post bc to act like any team needs to bend over and drop everything for arsenal’s fight for the prem is very unrealistic and honestly kind of strange but also the helping city win the league idea comes from the fact that players were specifically rested for this game in particular and not the chelsea one on tuesday, which if that same incredible level of football was played then would have levelled chelsea and gotten two extra points already. i think ppl saying that liverpool want man city to win the league is very counter productive but at the same time there was a clear game that was prioritised over the other with a much weaker side and i can understand why arsenal fans would attribute a bias against them bc of that. anyway these were just my thoughts and i hope this came across respectfully, i think ur insights are very realistic and non confrontational in a space where people jump down each others throats all the time, and thats a very valuable thing to offer any community. hope u had a nice easter if u celebrate :)

i more have a problem with people implying we are intentionally helping city to win the league rather than it just being a consequence of the result of that game, like yes it did help city but its not like we did it for that reason, we are really struggling to win games atm so of course we are going to fight as much as we can, for ourselves and to advance up the table, not for anyone else.

to me it sort of made sense to rest the stronger players v chelsea, chelsea are in really inconsistent form and so are we, so maybe jurgen thought we might have been able to come away w more than we did against them with a weaker side. but of course we are going to bring out a stronger side against the league leaders. i imagine every other team is doing the same and has been doing the same with city, its not anything to do w the fact that its arsenal specifically, its the fact that they are top of the league and the strongest side in the prem right now, and so u obv need a strong side to try and challenge that. like. obviously that is going to be a hard match and we would need our best players. idk why ppl are only saying it about liverpool when every other team has been playing their strongest team against arsenal bcus of course they are, arsenal are in amazing form. liverpool desperately need points atm and that was the best players for us to even try and get some, and even then we only got a draw.

idk i just hate the pov that we're doing it for anyone but ourselves nevermind fuckin CITY GKFKGK

[distortedataraxia]

If requests are open, I hope it's okay if I request a matchup 🥺 I'm a bisexual transdude. I'm a pretty big introvert, if I go to big social things, I will need like a full day to myself at least after it or else I will have an emotional breakdown from being burnt out. Despite that, I'm a childcare worker and I adore my kids so much, little ones are my specialty. It's my dream to be a dad one day! I'm a very domestic person, my hobbies include cooking, baking, and drawing. I'm also super into fashion and like looking good whenever I go out. A malewife, some would say /hj.

I'm a big people pleaser with social anxiety, so I tend to be reserved and overly polite when I first meet people. This also tends to make me a bit of a doormat. If you mistreat me, I'll of course be upset, but I'll bottle it up and won't voice my complaints because I hate confrontation. Plus I'm an angry crier and I hate crying in front of people. I constantly have the attitude of "I'M TIRED OF BEING NICE. I'M GONNA GO APESHIT." But I never go apeshit because I need everyone to like me so much all the time.

I'm super loosened up around friends though so I can be sarcastic, teasing, and cuss quite a bit. I tend to have a bit of dark... Dazai-esque humor sometimes, it's a habit, not as bad as it used to be. I'm also pretty dirty minded lol. Also, if my loved ones need something, my anxiety will go out the window, I'd fight anyone for them.

aaaaa this is getting long so I'm so sorry, I'll just state a few more facts

- I love anything horror. Movies, video games, haunted houses, esc.

- My cats are my babies and are at the top of my Favorite People list. I like all animals though!

- I'm punk-eque I guess with a love of rock n' roll, motorcycles, and tattoos. I am my father's son lmao.

- I have a big weakness for anything cute. I have impulsively spent $20 on a bunny plush. Help.

- That being said, I'm usually super cautious with money and encourage others to do the same.

- One time I cried after killing an ant bc I put myself in its shoes and "Oh my god, he was just walking around and living his life. And now it's gone. He's just suddenly DEAD. Oh my god."

Ummm I think that's it. I really enjoy your writing and you seem really nice and I hope you have a good day ❤️

Author note : Hello !! I'm so so so so so sorryyyyyyy for the time i took to work on your request - I haven't been active at all and i don't feel like i have any valid excuse, just me being emo/20 lol. Anyways I'm sorry this is rushed and i'll doubt you'll see this but i'll do it anyways,- still sorry ! You have a good day too and take care ! 💜also i didn't know if you wanted to be paired with a girl or a boy so i just did whatever came to my brain as other people are waiting - I'm sorry this is completly my fault TT-TT If you wanted to be paired with the other gender you can request to me again that won't bother me! I won't make you wait months-long this time... I think 🥲

I pair you with.....

Ranpo!

I can already see you looking at horror movies with him with A LOT OF FOOD- Ranpo also likes cats so i'm sure you'll take care of some together - Ranpo likes to play video games too as he plays some with yosano, i'm sure he'll find a lot of time for you and him to play together ! if you go to Haunted houses together, i'm sure he'd be amused by your reactions as he already figured out where everything is and what will happen.. Or maybe he can be taken by surprise..? Who knows - that's for you to imagine ! As he is really smart no shit sherlock he will probably figure out when something is bothering you so you won't even have to say it ! I'm sure this man will beg you to bake or cook things for him and then will eat almost everything in the blink of an eye - Goodluck with that! Ranpo will be careful with you, i can already imagine a dramatic plot where one of your loved one is in danger and it's too dangerous for you and he's gonna save them but you find out and he tries to stop you from going there and then idk boom drama and- yeah -

[spatio-rift]

basically i just dont like the orpheus etc plot and like kids working to bring out the good in kageyama, saying that hed actually been manipulated by a bigger evil for 40 years and then killing him so hes only remembered as a good guy. HOWEVER if it had to go that way then i like the way the game goes about it better bc it just involves more people that are connected go kageyama.

like not only does it explain better WHY fideo would try so hard to help even though kageyama hurt his teammates and he knows abt him from what kidou told him (his father was similarly destroyed by soccer so he understands how kageyama feels abt soccer somewhat), but it also involves kidou who is the only kid kageyama used that actually had some good moments with him bc he was raised by the man. so when fideo says they can make kageyama face his feelings for soccer kidou decides to help bc. yeah. dudes been wishing for it deep down since he first separated from kageyama. and its not gonna fix everything but itd be nice you know?

BUT EVEN MORE RHAN THAT AHHH i like that it also involves hibiki and daisuke.... who knew him as a kid before garshield put his claws in him. when onigawaras asking who was behind everything, who helped him commit his crimes etc, kageyama initially doesnt say anything but when he turns around and sees daisuke staring at him he confesses everything. i just like that u can tell hes feeling guilty about everything that happened to daisuke, his coach, that he still clearly respects him etc. very short moment but man i liked it so much.

and hibikis comments all throughout the match like, he cant forgive him for everything he did and he cant forgive him for hurting these kids. but clearly he had a high opinion of him as a kid when they played together and hes like kidou in that way. it wont fix everything but he wishes to see kageyama change. go back to what he once was. the way he talks about it is so... in ie2 before any of the garshield stuff is revealed, hibiki says to his face that he pities him. going so far, committing so many crimes because of his hatred of soccer, because hes still stuck in the past and cant face his feelings. and in ie3 when fideo and kidou are fighting to change him hes right there encouraging them bc he wants to see that player he liked so much when they were 14. a 'warrior' who fights for 'true victory' ok hibiki .... anyways.

and i like that other than the scene where kidou is told kageyama died we see him like dealing with the loss for essentially the rest of the game (in the anime theres nothing :( ). very quiet the few days after and only joining the conversation when its about finding evidence to incriminate garshield. then when they confront him at his mansion its like. this man is pure evil and everyone there hates him but kidou has a Personal grudge against him for everything hes done to kageyama (hes in mourning so hes mostly remembering the good times <- thats how im justifying in my head that hes like this abt kageyama now). also of course the illusion garshield shows him abt a world where he can be in peace and happy being that kageyama is alive and they can play soccer together again. ouch man.

and i like that daisuke also mentions kageyama when he says that its time they put an end to the 40 years of trying to catch each other. saying that he took kageyama, someone he trained, and made him his puppet, in his little speech about how unforgivable everything garshields done is. AHH I DUNNO I LIKED THAT EVERYONE CONNECTED TO KAGEYAMA HAD SOME STUFF TO SAY.