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#i probably will not be posting anything new this month as i am deep in a longfic
anneapocalypse · 2 years
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Anne's Dragon Age Femslash!
Happy Femslash February! Have a list of all the F/F fics I've written for Dragon Age so far. Listed from shortest to longest. Ratings are noted here; please check AO3 tags for full list of warnings/content notes.
Herald's Rest. Female Trevelyan/Sera, 370 words, rated M. The Inquisitor finds a respite.
In Darkness Enveloped. Cassandra/Leliana, 1800 words, rated E. The Conclave is destroyed. The Divine is dead. The Left Hand and Right Hand are at odds, and at loose ends. It's the worst of times. It's certainly the worst possible time for this.
What We Can Do Together. Shianni/Briala, 2000 words, rated T. Briala has never called her away from Denerim before, so Shianni can only assume this is important.
Gifts of the Hunt. Female Mahariel/Morrigan, 13000 words, rated M. Lyna Mahariel follows Morrigan through the eluvian, leaving behind her life with the Wardens and with her Dalish clan. With only each other, Morrigan's child, and the magic of a long-forgotten past, what kind of future will the two of them have together?
No Woman Rules Alone. Anora Mac Tir/Female Tabris, 34000 words, rated E. Warden Tabris convinced Anora and Alistair to marry for the good of Ferelden, to unite the lands against the darkspawn. They have settled into a functional partnership and even friendship, but there is no love between them and they both know it. Over time, Anora finds that it is the Warden-Commander and Arl of Amaranthine who has won not only her respect, but her heart.
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sugawhaaa · 1 month
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Can I request a yeosang x reader fic where she's been sexually active before but never been eaten out and not with someone big like Yeosang. So she asks Yeosang what oral feels like or a big cock feels like and he shows her instead. Accidentally making her squirter which she didn't know what a think while he fucks her
YEOSANG ONE-SHOT
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☆~TONGUE TWISTER~☆
Warnings:: SMUT
Pairing:: soft!dom!yeosang x sub!fem!reader
Genre:: oral (fem) fingering, praise, teasing, edging, squirting (2x) , lil bit of a size kink, creampie
W/C:: 3,017
A/N:: I tweaked a few things from the request but I hope you still enjoy it 🙏 also I think I am officially finished of my break <3 I probably won't be posting as consistently as I used to be I'm back 💪
🎧::
Yeosang knew that you were new to all this sexual stuff but he didn't really know how inexperienced or experienced you were. He knew that he was your first and he “took” your virginity. He didn't want to push you into other things too early like bdsm or even implying sex toys into your time together. He didn't know what your previous lovers might have done with you either. Anything revolving around oral he never knew if you had received or given it before.
It had been a few months since you and Yeosang had sex for the first time. He was patiently waiting, not wanting to push you or rush you into things again but he felt a little worried when it got to about four months.
When you crawled into bed Yeosang dragged you closer to him. You were a little surprised but assumed he just wants cuddles. You snuggled into his chest as he draped an arm over your body. “Hey baby. I wanted to talk to you about something,” Yeosang says softly, trying not to sound intimidating.
“Sure baby, what's up?” You tilt your head and he thinks for a moment.
“When we had sex, did you enjoy it?” The question catches you off guard. You were expecting something way less deep than that.
“Of course,” you chuckle before meeting his gaze, looking up into his eyes. “Why? Is there something going on?” You rub his chest and he laughs softly.
“No, no, darling. I was just making sure since you haven't asked to try it again,” he pats your head with a laugh before kissing your forehead.
“Oh…I was waiting for you to say something,” you chuckle awkwardly and feel a thick tension growing in the room. “Why bring this up now though?”
“I've just been thinking,” he says before rolling his tongue around the inside of his bottom lip. “You were a virgin before we met, right?” He confirms and you nod. “And I was wondering if you've ever experienced…” he pauses as he rolls circles on your forearm. “Oral?” He finishes his sentence and you feel your heart skip.
In truth, you never experienced someone's mouth on you before. You always dreamed about getting eaten out and how it would feel to have someone's tongue inside you, even if it was only the tip of their tongue.
“Well…I haven't,” you pause and bite your lip, waiting for his response. You can tell just from his body language that he wants to eat you out so bad right now. He would do it in a heartbeat but he needs you to say it.
“Would you like to try it?” He looks at you eagerly and you blush. You nod softly and he smirks before running his finger along your chin. “I need to hear your words baby. What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to eat me out,” you look directly at him as you speak and he bites his lip.
“That's exactly what I wanted to hear my love,” he runs his hands down your body before shifting you so you lay on your back. “Just relax baby, I'll take good care of you,” he kisses your cheek softly before roaming his hands under your shirt, getting you all riled up. He leans down to capture your lips in a kiss. He creeps his tongue into your mouth and circles his tongue around yours, flipping it as he does so.
You can't help but moan into the kiss. It was apparent he was experienced with his tongue and that was going to be the thing to make you break for him. He curled his tongue into yours and you whimpered softly. He pulls back and looks into your eyes, his hand coming up to stroke the side of your face. “Does that feel good?” He runs his opposite hand over your breast as he speaks. You nod with a smile.
“It feels strange but so good,” you chuckle and he smiles. He holds the side of your face and tilts your head up to look at him.
“Open your mouth,” he instructs in a low but calm voice. You do as he says parting your lips and opening your mouth slightly. “Stick out your tongue a little,” he rubs your temple as he speaks. As you poke your tongue out he slides his tongue into your mouth without touching your lips together. He runs his tongue over yours and you moan softly. He circles his tongue around yours again and you feel the heat growing between your legs.
You couldn't wait for him to do that to your clit. To your folds. To the inside of your walls. How much longer can you hold out before begging for him. He smirks before pulling back again. “Is my little doll eager?” He chuckles as he points out you rubbing your thighs together. You blush and look away. “It's okay baby, you can be greedy,” he leans down again and begins to lick along your jaw before kissing it. He sits back and pulls your shirt off to reveal your bare torso to him. He makes his way down to your breasts with little kisses and licks that make you arch your back.
Finally he reaches your tits and begins to suck and circle his tongue around your sensitive buds.
“Oh yes~” you moan softly and tangle your fingers into his hair. He chuckles against your soft skin as he pulls on your sensitive skin. The sensation was slightly painful but it had a strange tingle to it afterwards. His lips separate from your skin and he smiles.
“That feel good, baby? You comfortable?” He runs his hands down your torso as he speaks. You nod with a satisfied hum and he smiles. “Good,” he says before leaning back down to the other nipple, relentlessly attacking it as well. You let out a soft moan as he twirls his tongue around your nipple, using his flexible tongue ability to make you quiver.
“Please yeosang, I can't wait any longer,” you whine and he chuckles, popping his lips off of your bud.
“Alright, alright, I suppose I've teased you enough,” he chuckles as he leans back to take off your pants on panties. He moves slowly and gently, kissing you in between movements. “How wet are you hm?” He runs his thumb down your folds and you moan softly. His thumb glides swiftly and effortlessly. It was like you had put a whole bottle of lube on your folds. He can't help but chuckle as he sees your soaked state. “Oh my she is desperate, aren't you?” He says before pressing on your clit. You moan and bite your lip.
He sits up again and pulls his shirt off before situating himself just above your thighs. “Spread your legs baby,” you do as he asks instantly, not wanting to waste time. He blows softly on your clit and you whimper, clenching the bed sheets in your hand. “Relax baby,” he runs his fingers down your folds again. After what felt like an eternity he parted his lips, his tongue poking out as he creeped closer to your burning, aching core. You feel one last breath on your clit before feeling his tongue press against it.
His tongue was warm compared to the cold air he'd been blowing on you and the texture was just out of this world. It was like running the inside of a warm fruit on your folds. You can't hold back your gasps of amazement as he begins to flick his tongue up and down your core. Right from your clit down to your entrance. He didn't press through your folds yet, wanting to take things slow, but him flicking your clit was enough to make you squirm.
He smirks against you before beginning to suck on your sensitive skin and clit. Your legs threatened to close around him as he sucked and flicked your clit with his tongue. You grab a fistful of his hair and push your hips into his face slightly. He grabs the back of your thighs, allowing him to move more with more pressure and your legs jerk. He massages your thighs, silently telling you to relax. You feel him move back a bit before pouring out some spit onto your folds.
He spreads it around with his tongue, moving in flipping circles. Everytime your body tried to squirm away from his tongue his head would follow, never separating his tongue and lips from your body.
“Yeosang,” you moan softly as you toss your head back. He looks up at you, acknowledging the fact you said his name. He hummed softly against your folds as a response and you look down at him. “Please don't stop,” you whimper and he smirks before backing up to catch his breath.
“Wasn't planning on it,” he leans back down. He continues to roll his tongue over your folds. He then pokes his tongue at your entrance, the tip of his tongue slipping in as he rolls his tongue in a circle. You arch your back into his face and he holds you to his face. He goes back up to your clit, then tour folds, before slipping his tongue back inside you.
He continued this process before moving his head back and forth to and extra stimulation. He then eases one of his fingers inside you, curling it slowly. You moan uncontrollably as he pumps his finger into you and before you know it you feel the knot building in your stomach and as your body squirms Yeosang doesn't let you go. Every time your hips jerk around Yeosang follows you resulting in your orgasm approaching faster than expected but Yeosang doesn't stop.
Your legs reflexively lock around his head as your body shudders, your release pouring out of you into his lips. Yeosang continues pumping his finger into you, slowly adding another, as he flicks your clit. Something about the way he moved his tongue around your clit and to your folds made you want to scream in pleasure yet you couldn't breathe because the pleasure was that overwhelming. “Y-Yeosang,” you stutter out as a way to warn him of this orgasm. It felt different though. Like something more was about to be released and almost like…peeing?
No way were you going to pee, no that would be humiliating! Peeing on your boyfriend's face while receiving oral for the first time!? But you couldn't hold whatever this was in. It was uncontrollable and before you knew it the sound of liquid spraying out of you and hitting the floor filled your ears but it felt so fucking good. Your whole body was tingling in pure bliss and you couldn't hold back a smile as you laid there.
When you opened your eyes again you realized what had happened. Yeosangs face was quite literally, drenched. The hair around his face was wet and some of it even stuck to the sides of his face. Your fluids dripped down his chin and neck and you felt your head spin. This was a sight that you would never get tired of.
“So how was that?” He smirks before standing up. You were surprised by his abrupt urge to leave but he only grabbed a cloth to wipe his face. You lazily watched him as he dried himself off and looked at the liquid that coated his shirt, gluing it to his chest. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it to the side. “Do you want me to dry you off too?” He asks, gesturing the cloth to you and you shake your head. He smiles and sets the cloth down.
He lays next to you and props himself up with his elbow, admiring you. He runs his hand down your arm softly as he looks at you. “That was amazing baby,” he leans in and kisses your forehead. “How are you feeling?” He moves to caress your chest gently.
“I can't even describe it. Tired but full of this buzzing energy,” you explain. “There was just so much at once it feels like a blur,” you sigh happily and turn to him.
“Are you done for the night?” He caresses your cheek with his thumb and you turn to loom at him.
“Not yet,” you smile and roll closer to him. He licks his lips before nibbling on his lower lip.
“You're so hot baby,” he chuckles softly under his breath. He quickly undoes his pants and throws everything somewhere on the floor. “Come here my love,” he pulls you closer to him before beginning to bite your neck, claiming you. “How do you want me to fuck you this time?” He says with a slight growl. It was obvious he was beginning to get more comfortable with you in the sexual sense. “Want me to bend you over~? Or fuck you missionary so you can stare right into my eyes as I make you cum,” he growls between kisses and you whimper. “Or do you wanna try something new~?” His proposal sounded intriguing but were you ready for something like that? There was no rush but…
“I want you to fuck me however you want,” you blush as you speak, the words tasting nastier than you expected.
“Oh~? You're so eager baby, I love you,” he kisses your neck one last time before pulling away from you. “I want to make sure you're comfortable so tell me to stop at any point okay?” He smiles as he sits up. You nod and follow as he directs you. “Lay on your stomach and spread your legs. Rest on your knees a bit as well to hold your bum up a bit,” he encourages by holding you up by your waist. You blush at the feeling of his fingertips drawing so close to your heat. You do as he says and hold yourself up. “Look at you, being such a good girl,” he whispers in your ear and you feel goosebumps rise along your skin.
He then comes around behind you probing his tip at your entrance. “We'll go slow, tell me if you're uncomfortable,” he reminds you as he runs his cock along your folds, collecting your fluids.
“Yeah, I will,” you reply as you turn to watch him.
“Alright, here we go,” he aligns himself up accordingly before pushing in. You felt your eyes roll back as he filled you up, inching inside you.
“Oh my god,” you moan and grab the pillow, digging your nails into the soft fabric. Yeosang brings his hand up to your face, tucking back your hair and strumming his fingers through the strands.
“You're doing so good baby,” he leans down, resting his lower body on yours. Yeosang finally reaches the bottom of your pussy and rests there, letting you adjust to him. He gently rests his body on top of yours, his head resting on your shoulder. He whispers reassuring words and praise into your ear as you adjust to him.
“You can move now,” you say softly and he smiles before doing as you said. He lifts his hips before pushing back in with a gentle thrust. You moan softly at the feeling. You could feel him stretching you out and it was an addicting feeling.
“Relax baby,” he said as he rubs your waist softly, still gently thrusting. “You're doing so good,” he says before kissing your neck softly. The sound of your body's clapping against each other echoed in the room as he continuously hit your A-Spot. Your moans increase in volume and pace as he kisses your neck.
You drop your head down into the pillow, burying your face in the silky fabric as Yeosang thrusts harder. “How are you feeling baby?” He speaks in a low rasp next to your ear.
“Amazing,” you stutter out and he smirks.
“You like being stretched out by me?” He says in a teasing tone that makes the knot in your stomach tighten.
“Yes,” you say between moans and whimpers. He begins to move faster, thrusting in and out of you so quickly that you can't moan for every thrust, it was all so fast. “Y-Yeosang I'm close,” you managed to croak out as he pounded into you.
“Me too baby,” he sits up a little to thrust as fast as he can, making you squeal. “You're so tight, I can't wait to see you cum again,” he groans as he holds himself up. As he growls dirty words you feel yourself coming undone, unraveling before him. Your body shakes softly as you clench the pillow like your life depends on it. With one last cry of his name you empty out beneath him. Yeosang thrusts a few more times before slamming into you, pouring his seed into you.
He thrusts into you harshly for each surge of cum, filling you up entirely. Your body relaxes as the waves settle. Yeosang lays on top of you, trying to hold himself up as much as he can so he doesn't hurt you but after that peak he just reached he was struggling. “You're so beautiful, my baby,” he whispers in your ear as he rubs your back softly. “I love you,” he pants out and you smile.
“I love you too baby,” you smile with a chuckle. He then sits up, pulling out swiftly.
“Spread your legs again baby, let me eat that cream pie,” he hisses before resting his head between your legs. He lifts your hips up slightly as he eats you out again, from behind this time. “Fuck you taste so good baby,” he growls against your sensitive skin, dipping his tongue into your entrance. You whimper softly as he uses that twisting method with his tongue again.
You squirm, seeking his mouth all over your core again. Yeosang smirks as he notices your eagerness. “You want me to make you squirt again?” He asks in a teasing tone and you nod.
“Yes, please,” you whimper and he chuckles.
“Remember baby, just because it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen every time,” he explains softly. “So if you don't squirt this time that's okay, don't pressure yourself,” he kisses your ass softly before moving down to your slit again.
You hum softly, acknowledging his words as he licks up your folds. He sucks your folds into his lips before rolling his tongue over them. You moan into the pillow and Yeosang starts eating you out more aggressively, lapping at your juices. He creeps his hand around to your clit, rubbing it back and forth. He uses his flipping tongue method again and you instantly feel your core tightening again.
“Hey baby, I think I'm close again,” you whimper pathetically and Yeosang hums in acknowledgment. He rubs your clit faster as he pokes his tongue into your entrance continuously. His free hand however creeps up from your hip around to your puckered asshole, probing it softly with his finger for extra stimulation. You bury your face in the pillow as your walls clench around nothing, pushing out some of the cum from earlier that Yeosang likes up instantly. From the triple stimulation your body begins to shudder as you snap, coming undone. As you gasp for air Yeosang slides a finger inside you and starts pumping it without hesitation.
You gasp loudly and buck your hips from the sudden intrusion. As the tension in your gut forms again you bite the pillow and once again that feeling of “peeing” returns. You were worried once again that this could go badly but at the same time this all felt so good you didn't care how it ended. Before you knew you could feel the warm liquid spray out of you and Yeosang pulled back, wanting to watch this time.
“Good girl, such a good girl,” he rubs your lower back and ass softly. Your body goes completely limp as your body releases everything. Yeosang still ended up being covered in bodily fluids but this time he didn't care, he just wanted to cuddle you. He lays next to you and roll over, looking up at him with tired eyes. “Was that too much?” He asks nervously, worried he hurt you or something but you shake your head.
“No, it was just…a lot,” you sigh with a smile and he pulls you into his chest.
“You were incredible baby,” he showers you in kisses before pulling the blankets up to cover you, trying to avoid the spot with a massive puddle. As your body falls limp under the blankets Yeosang lays next to you, admiring your beauty in such a peaceful state. “I love you,” he kisses your forehead. “Sweet dreams my love,”
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rubycruzin4abruzin · 5 months
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behind the curtain
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Summary: Sequel to never been (stage) kissed. After shooting wraps, you and Ruby part ways. Eight months later, you see each other again at the premiere screening, and decide to “sneak away” during the after-party. How will you two navigate the paparazzi after they catch you in a compromising position?
Pairing: ruby cruz x actress!reader
Contains: mature language, adult humor, kissing, angst, fluff, hair playing, secret relationship trope, brief mention of an ED, publicity tweets and comments, invasive tabloids, the price of fame
Word Count: 4.2k
A/N: This is a sequel to my previous RPF, so the RPF Guidelines still stand. This fic contains a very brief mentioning towards an ED, and should not be triggering (at least I don’t think so). I am not insinuating anything by this mention, it is simply meant to shed light on how invasive and presumptuous Hollywood can be. That being said, I had the most fun EVER writing this! Enjoy! :)
———
Ever since the first “kissing lesson,” you and Ruby had spent every on-set lunch break in her trailer. Nothing ever progressed beyond kissing, but with the way Ruby’s hands entangled themselves in your hair, and how she shivered every time your hand grazed her thigh, kissing was really all you needed.
Your mid-day rendezvous were kept a secret from the rest of the world. None of the cast or crew knew exactly what was happening when the door to Ruby’s trailer closed, but it was clear that something was working. Since the trailer lunches began, your on-set chemistry became palpable. It even got to the point where the director would shout words of praise after “cut!”
Eventually, like with all movies, filming began to wrap up. The last day on set, you and Ruby spent all of your down time wrapped in each other's arms, tears falling at the thought of parting. Everyone on set sympathized with the both of you, except for the makeup artist who kept having to touch up your alien makeup after every fallen tear.
You and Ruby promised to keep in touch, and you did for a little while. But daily FaceTimes eventually became weekly phone calls, which turned into sporadic texts, until silence settled between you, save for occasional likes on social media posts. You missed her terribly, and while your pride and fear of rejection kept you from reaching back out, you couldn’t help but wonder if she was missing you too.
About eight months after shooting wrapped for “Aliens of Atlantis,” you were going over sides for an upcoming audition when you got a call from your agent. Upon answering, she announced that “Aliens of Atlantis” post-production had wrapped, and the film had a scheduled premiere where the cast would be making an appearance.
A blissful daze settled across your face at this news. Your agent kept on talking about the when, the where, and the dress code of the upcoming premiere, but you were only half-listening. Her words mushed together, flying in one ear and out the other as the only thing that mattered to you consumed your mind.
You were going to see Ruby again.
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On the morning of the premiere, you woke up with a knot in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if the cause was nerves or excitement, but you chalked it up to probably being a little of both. You tried everything to settle your stomach, from aspirin to deep breaths to simply distracting yourself with other tasks. Despite your attempts, when your driver arrived later in the day to take you to the premiere, the knot was still there and prominent as ever.
By the time you had arrived and were about to get out of the car, the knot had seemingly spread throughout your entire body, making you feel like an absolute disaster. You took out your phone and checked your reflection in the front-facing camera, just to remind yourself that you weren’t. In fact, you looked good. You were wearing a metallic blue floor-length gown as a not-so subtle nod to your alien character from the movie. Pale blue eyeshadow decorated your eyelids, and you left your hair down in loose face-framing curls. You knew the press would go crazy as soon as they saw you, and that thought alone gave you enough of a confidence boost to calm down a bit.
When the car pulled up to the red carpet, you took a deep breath and stepped out, immediately being bombarded with cameras flashing in your face. You blinked, overwhelmed at the bright lights, and quickly attempted to paste on a smile and act like this wasn’t your first red carpet event.
You stumbled down the red carpet and looked around for Ruby, but the constant camera flashes and bright lights made it difficult to see much. Every now and then you would stop to strike a pose and flash a pretty smile in some random direction, or answer one of the million questions being thrown at you.
“Who are you wearing?”
A fucking blue dress. “Valdrin Sahiti!”
“How do you feel about your first red carpet event?”
Overwhelmed. “So excited!”
“What are you most looking forward to tonight?”
Seeing Ruby again. “Everyone finally getting to see all the hard work from the cast and crew!”
After what felt like an eternity of paparazzi and bullshit answers to trivial questions, the end of the red carpet was finally approaching. You felt yourself let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. It wasn’t easy, but you managed to make it down your first red carpet without making a complete fool of yourself.
Eventually, the cameras seemed to dissipate, focusing on the next pretty young thing that had just arrived. You blinked, trying to restore your vision infringed upon by the blinding lights. Once you could see in front of you again, you looked up, and a gulp forced itself down your throat at what might have been the prettiest sight you’d ever seen.
There, standing at the end of the red carpet, was Ruby Cruz, radiant amidst the flashing lights.
Her gown was long and form-fitting, sporting bright streaks of color and a slit up one of her legs. Dark brown curls hovered above her shoulders and cascaded down the back of her neck, while glittery red eyeshadow made her blue eyes pop. She looked so natural, posing and smiling for the cameras, that you couldn’t help but feel a bit envious of her.
Upon seeing you, Ruby’s eyes brightened, and a goofy grin spread across her face. She walked towards you, wrapping an arm around your waist and instantly making the cameras go wild. Your cheeks flushed into a bright pink tint. You missed her touch, and having her arm wrapped around you like that almost felt like deja vu.
While the both of you posed for the flashing cameras, Ruby leaned down to your ear and whispered one single sentence, the answer to a question you didn’t need to ask.
“I missed you.”
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Unsurprisingly, the movie premiere turned out to be a massive success. The audience was extremely receptive to the storyline, cheering and gasping at all the right moments. Critics even approached you after the screening to rave about your performance and promise a glowing review.
The after-party was held at a nearby banquet hall, decorated to look like the underwater city of Atlantis. Filk music blasted through speakers while an open bar served space-themed cocktails.
You were busy making your rounds, establishing connections with other attendees while sipping a ‘cosmonaut’ from the open bar. While posing for a photo with a fan, you couldn’t help but realize you hadn’t seen Ruby in a bit. You craned your neck to look for her, but she was nowhere to be found. You shrugged it off, thinking it’s just a big venue and you’d probably run into her at some point during the night.
After several photos, impromptu interviews, and business cards you had nowhere to put, you were exhausted. You tried to make yourself as invisible as possible, leaning against a curtain by the back wall and downing the last sip of your cocktail.
While scanning the room, you noticed some of your castmates appeared slightly tipsy. You felt bad for them, knowing their press interviews would come off as less than professional, but there was a small part of you that wished you had more to drink throughout the night. The party was fun, sure, but took a lot out of you, and alcohol was sure to make it more tolerable.
Suddenly, while you were immersed in watching a crew member profusely apologize to an intern she had drunkenly stumbled into, you felt a disembodied hand appear out of nowhere and wrap around your arm. The hand pulled you behind the curtain you were leaning against, causing you to gasp and drop your empty cup.
You whipped around to see who grabbed you, preparing to throw a punch or scream for help if you had to. Instead, your eyes softened and you lowered your fist upon seeing Ruby, standing there staring at you with a devilish smirk.
“Hi pretty girl.” She cooed, taking a step towards you.
“Ruby…” you half-whispered in shock, eyes traveling up and down her body. “What are you doing?”
“I missed you,” she rested her hands on your hips and bit her lip, letting an ounce of vulnerability shine through her otherwise confident exterior. “I missed this. I feel like we barely got to see each other all night.”
“Me too,” you responded, internally melting at the feeling of her warm hands on your torso.
You wrapped your arms around her neck and leaned close to her before a sense of paranoia made you backtrack. “Ruby, it’s a big party, what if someone sees us?”
Ruby simply shrugged, completely unbothered. “Like you said, it’s a big party. Our castmates are drunk, the press is too focused on capturing their embarrassing moments.”
Her words seemed to reassure you, and you pulled her close to you again, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. “I’m glad you pulled me away.”
Ruby crashed her lips against yours, forcing a soft moan to escape your throat. She pulled back, looking deep into your eyes and holding your face in her hands.
“Careful now. We don’t want anyone hearing us.”
You nodded, non-verbally promising to keep quiet before Ruby brought her lips to yours again. Both of you sighed into the kiss, eight months of absence making itself prominent with passion. She tasted like sweet nostalgia with a hint of coconut rum, probably leftover from a drink she had earlier.
Ruby pressed herself against you, and you grabbed at the back of her neck, desperate to be as close to her as possible. She kept her hands planted at your waist, thumbing over the metallic fabric of your gown. Each time her fingertips pressed into your sides sent electrifying shocks through your body, making your knees stutter and causing you to lean more into Ruby for balance.
You brought your hands up to play with one of her curls, prompting a gentle sigh to travel from her mouth into yours. A smirk appeared on your lips, realizing your beloved brunette enjoyed having her hair played with.
Just when you were about to fully take advantage of this newfound information, a sudden crash engulfed your ears, followed by a blinding light and a collective gasp. You and Ruby pulled away from each other, turning your heads to check out the commotion.
One of the interns had drunkenly stumbled into the curtain and pulled it down with him as he fell, leaving you and Ruby entangled in each other and completely exposed to the rest of the party.
All hell broke loose. Interviewers screamed questions from across the room while paparazzi cameras flashed in your face. Those without cameras pulled out their phones and filmed the both of you, desperate for their fifteen minutes of fame.
Anxiety overtook your body as you felt a lump rise to your throat and your heart sink to your feet. You turned to look at Ruby, eyes full of fear, but she wasn’t looking at you. She was looking straight at the flashing cameras, with an expression that made your blood run cold.
You had never seen her bright blue eyes filled with so much anger.
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The pit in your stomach grew as you scrolled through the tabloid headlines and Twitter articles featuring your and Ruby’s “stunt” from the other night. This was bad. So bad, that both of your agents had gotten together to hire a public relations manager just for the situation.
Two days after the movie premiere, an emergency meeting was called. Five of you were called to the manager’s office, with both of your agents sitting on either side of him, and you and Ruby placed across from the three of them.
The manager, named Rick, held out his hand and you gave him his phone back, sick of scrolling through the headlines anyway. As far as you could tell, Rick didn’t seem like a bad guy, but it was clear Ruby didn’t feel the same. She hadn’t said a word throughout the entire meeting, instead keeping her arms crossed in front of her chest and pointing a cold glare towards the man in front of her.
She didn’t trust him, and everyone in the room knew it.
Rick gave the both of you a sheepish grin. “As you both can probably see, you’re kind of the flavor of the week right now.”
Ruby’s agent nodded in agreement. “I have a friend in New York, and she heard a rumor about an SNL sketch being written about the whole thing.”
Your agent sighed, clearly having heard the rumor herself. Ruby simply scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“Is it really that big of a deal?” You piped up.
All eyes turned to look at you, making you shrink in your seat. “I mean, can’t we just wait for it to blow over? All we did was kiss at an after party.”
“It’s not like we were fucking, Rick.” Ruby growled through her teeth, causing a blush to appear on your cheeks.
Rick cleared his throat, uncomfortable with Ruby’s candidness. “Well it’s not really that simple…”
“No one knows what you are.” Your agent interrupted. “All the public knows is you were caught going at it like teenagers in a basement, and now the media is going to be on top of everything you do until they figure it out.”
Ruby’s agent nodded. “Before this, we wanted you both to appear single to the public. You’re both very attractive girls. People want you, and we want them to think they can have you.”
“But that’s not really an option now.” Rick pointed out. “Fortunately, both of you have pretty reputable status in Hollywood. People see two of their favorite actresses together, feedback is bound to be mostly positive.”
He opened up a notepad in front of him and started scribbling down something you couldn’t quite make out.
“I’m thinking, we take this relationship and go completely public. Social media posts, dates open to the paparazzi, everything. That way, the media won’t have to do any guess work and this whole thing will blow over sooner.”
Suddenly, Ruby stood up from her seat and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
“Ruby!” Her agent called after her.
She turned to flash an apologetic smile towards all the shocked faces staring back at her. “I’m sorry. She’s not usually like this. I’ll talk to her.”
She ran out of the room after Ruby, leaving Rick and your agent to go over the details of the plan. Their voices faded into the background as millions of thoughts swam through your mind. You had a bad feeling about this ‘public relationship’ idea.
How were you supposed to go public with your relationship, when you weren’t even sure if there was a relationship to go public with?
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You adjusted your oversized hat and sunglasses while staring up at the cafe sign that read “Grind n’ Dine,” shuddering at the slightly suggestive name.
One week after the meeting with Rick, he worked with your agents to schedule a public date for you and Ruby, tipping off the press to make sure there was media coverage. Grind n’ Dine, a local business, had apparently paid Rick a large sum of money to schedule your date here in the hopes that the publicity would be good for business.
Taking a deep breath, you walked in through the restaurant doors and looked around. Several members of the press were already present, wearing cameras around their necks and sipping coffee at various tables. You breathed out a sigh of relief that they didn’t recognize you yet, thankful for your agent who suggested arriving in disguise.
In the very back of the restaurant, tucked into a booth, you spotted Ruby hiding behind a menu. She had her body and hair buried under a large black hoodie, and masked her face with sunglasses similar to yours. You made your way over to her, trying to act natural, and making sure to avoid press members as much as possible in case they recognize you before you’re ready.
You slid into the seat across from her and cleared your throat to alert her of your presence. She put down her menu and laid it flat, before tilting her sunglasses down to meet your eyes.
Her blue eyes, once lively and bright, were now bloodshot and emotionless. Dark circles hung like bags underneath them, as if she hadn’t slept in days. You felt a sharp pang in your chest. Ruby had never looked at you this way before, and you wished more than anything that she would stop.
“Ready for this?” She asked, her voice monotone and lifeless.
You gulped, nodding defeatedly. “As I’ll ever be.”
Ruby removed her sunglasses and pulled down her hood, shaking out her wild brunette locks. You followed suit, taking off your hat and slipping your sunglasses into your purse.
Almost immediately, members of the press recognized the both of you, and practically trampled the poor servers and other diners to get to your booth. Cameras were suddenly shoved in your face, followed by microphones and what felt like hundreds of pointless and rather invading questions.
“Is this a date? How would you define your relationship?”
“If you had to describe your sex life using only three words, what would they be?”
“Ruby! Do you think every liberal democrat should take home a migrant to show their support for the proposed open border policy?”
The two of you mumbled terse responses to some of the questions, and completely ignored others. After several minutes of verbal torture, a perky blonde waitress fought her way through the press and stopped at the end of your table. She sported a wide politician's smile not directed at the two of you, instead flashed to the surrounding cameras in search of fifteen minutes of fame.
“Hi guys,” she started, her voice unnaturally high pitched. “My name is Bethany, what can I get started for you today?”
“I’ll have a quinoa salad and cranberry juice, please.” You answered, handing Bethany your menu.
The press murmured imperceptible comments regarding your order, some even scribbling notes on napkins. “Quinoa… salad…”
“Just a coffee’s fine.” Ruby mumbled, order being followed by press comments as well.
As soon as Bethany walked away, the paparazzi shoved the cameras back in your face and bombarded you and Ruby with questions once more.
“Did you order cranberry juice because you like cranberry juice or because you have a UTI? How did you get this UTI?”
“I noticed you were the only one who ordered food. Could it be because you’re eating for two?”
“Speaking of, why didn’t you order food, Ruby? Are you battling some kind of eating disorder? Would you like to comment on it?”
“Enough!” Ruby exclaimed, perhaps louder than she should have.
Immediately, the press was silent, with only the sound of sporadic camera clicks being heard. Ruby turned to look at you, tears starting to well in her tired eyes.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this…” she whispered, getting up and running out of the restaurant.
“Ruby! Wait, please!” You stood up and ran after her, leaving the paparazzi in the dust behind you.
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You found Ruby leaning against a building across the cafe. She had her head resting against the cool brick, and her face pointed to the sky while she blinked back tears threatening to fall.
A lump formed in your throat as you started to approach her. You couldn’t stand to see her like this. She looked so… miserable.
“Ruby…” you muttered softly, reaching out your hand.
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the concrete, refusing to look you in the eye. “I just wasn’t hungry! It’s barely ten in the fucking morning!”
You sighed. “Ruby, we both know that’s not what this is about. What’s going on?”
She sniffed, and focused her gaze on something behind you. “Can we… go somewhere else?”
Turning to see what Ruby was looking at, you noticed a teenage girl filming the two of you on her phone. You rolled your eyes, completely exasperated at this point.
“Let’s go.” You muttered, grabbing her hand to pull her away.
It didn’t take long to find a nearby alleyway, deserted except for an empty dumpster. You dragged Ruby into the back, letting go of her hand once the coast was clear.
“Talk.”
The pale brunette pushed her bangs out of her face, blinking a couple times while gathering her thoughts.
“I just… this is why my Instagram is private. This is why I’ve never explicitly labeled my sexuality. This is why I rarely talk about my personal life! I don’t want the media invading my space! I don’t want random strangers knowing intimate details about my life! It’s fucking freaky!”
You nodded, understanding her perspective, especially as you’d been recently dealing with the wrath of the paparazzi as well. She continued.
“I mean fuck! I can’t even order a damn coffee without some tabloid claiming I have a fucking eating disorder!”
Her breathing seemed to be evening out the more she spoke. She let out a shuddering breath and crossed her arms, staring at the gravel beneath her feet.
“I just… I just wanted to kiss you at an after-party. I missed you. And now everyone’s forcing us to be in this relationship and make it public but…”
“But no one asked us if we were even together,” you finished.
She nodded. “Exactly! We never even had a conversation just between us. Everyone just assumed.”
You pulled the brunette girl into your arms, wrapping them around her torso. She buried her face in the crook of your neck as you stroked her soft locks.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “If I had known that’s how you felt…”
“No.” She interrupted. “It wasn’t you. You didn’t do anything, I… listen…”
She pulled away, and you felt a pit form in your stomach. You waited for her to tell you that she didn’t want to see you again, that it was too hard, that it meant nothing.
You held your breath as she took your face in her hands, her blue eyes piercing into yours.
“I like you.”
“You… huh?” Shock painted your features as Ruby said the last thing you were expecting to hear.
“I like you.” She repeated, the corners of her mouth slightly upturned. “I meant it when I said I missed you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire eight months we didn’t talk. I should have reached out more, I don’t know why I didn’t. I guess I was scared? I don’t know…”
She was babbling, and you didn’t think she could get any cuter. You took her hands off your face and held them in yours, flashing her an encouraging smile.
“I like you too,” you replied giddily. “More than you know.”
Ruby chuckled, a faint blush tinting her cheeks. She stared down at the gravel again, chewing on her lip before speaking.
“I like you… I really do, but if we’re gonna start this… something, I’d want to take it slow and be completely private. No socials, no media, at least for now. Would… that be something you’re okay with?”
You squeezed her hands, flashing her a goofy grin. “I would… love that, actually.”
As you stared at your former celebrity crush, turned co-star, turned friend, turned… something, a wave of courage suddenly washed over you. Letting go of her hands, you seized her face and brought your lips to hers, tentatively, testing the waters. She gasped, but soon kissed back, sighing as she wrapped her arms around your neck and leaned into your body.
You moved your hand towards the back of her neck, then slowly inched upwards until your fingers were entangled in her hair. An almost inaudible moan escaped her lips and vibrated against yours as you played with her soft tresses. You smirked into the kiss, remembering exactly how much she liked having her hair played with before getting caught at the after-party.
Finally, after what could have been an eternity, you pulled away from each other. The two of you gasped for breath, both smiling like giddy children at the other.
“So… what now?” You asked breathlessly.
Ruby hummed to herself, seemingly in thought. “We could… go on a real date? Just you and me? No paparazzi. There’s this great little hole-in-the-wall place I like to go to when I don’t want to get recognized.”
You tilted your head, shooting her a lopsided smile. “That sounds perfect, actually.”
Before leaving the alleyway, Ruby put her sunglasses back on and pulled her hood over her head again, while you dug your sunglasses out of your purse and readjusted your hat. The two of you were disguised, hidden from the world, but happy to be able to pursue each other away from public opinion.
Ruby reached out her hand, her blue eyes somehow still managing to shine behind her sunglasses. “Ready for this?”
You smiled back at her, taking her hand and intertwining her fingers with yours. “As I’ll ever be.”
200 notes · View notes
justrikiss · 2 months
Text
sweater weather .. dallas winston x reader
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fem!reader x toxic!dallas winston "it's too cold for you here.."
warning(s): toxic relationship! dallas keeps trying to push reader away but she won't budge, and he's js like "?? why r u still here" because he's TERRIFIED of love or commitment. things change toward the end though(?).
a/n: i have woken again to post for you guys 🥰 this is true dedication bc i started this at 1:03am and it's now 2:50 at the time of officially uploading this (with this a/n cause it's an edit). first i was gonna talk ab how dilf matt dillon is, then i was gonna make matt hcs, THEN i was gonna do dally hcs, and FINALLY i decided on writing this because toxic dallas is stuck in my headdd😣. i am a FIRM believer that dallas winston is EITHER loverboy softboy around reader OR cold toxic bf that is afraid of commitment and love because of his past in new york. NO OTHER WAY TO PUT IT!
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dating dallas, you knew whaat would come with it. no, not just the constant "gettin' it in with the fuzz" or his repetitive fights at buck's on a thursday night, but the laid back "ya know i don't love anythin'" motto he always has going on. you and dallas had probably broken up 5 or 6 times in the past month. either he'd be out with another broad, or he'd be dismissing your feelings again and telling you "i mean i like ya, doll. that's close enough to what you're talkin' about, right? i mean what's love anyways? don't say things you don't understand.."
you'd recently just gotten back together with dallas. you'd broken up with him because you found out he was hitting on another girl, this time a soc named cherry valance.
well, in due time another argument would come up. so here you are, arguing with dallas again because you told him you loved him again and finally snapped at his unbothered, half-assed response.
"dallas i don't understand!" you yelled. "all i try to do is get you to love me because that's what a relationship is all about! i do everything for you and give you chance aftter chance. but no, you just HAVE to keep it up like you care about nothing i do for you!! what's the point dallas? why knock my heart around just 'cause you can't commit to anything?" by now tears welled up in your eyes, but your anger overshadowed the embarrassment you might have crying in front of dallas.
"i don't have to keep nothin' up doll, that's just me. man i thought this love problem you got goin' on in your head was a one time thing. if i knew you were always gonna be so emotional and stuck on tryin' to get love all the time then maybe i wouldn't have dated you at all!" dallas yelled back. you scoffed as you walked up to him, even angrier than before.
"god i hate you dallas! you're not fucking cool, and one day i hope you wake up and see that! the world isn't all bad you just make it out to be that way so you can have a reason to be miserable. i hate it all, and the thing i hate the most is that you just can't love me after all i do!" you gave dallas a little push at the last part. at this point, you couldn't stop the tears from flowing as you grabbed your stuff and walked home. not to mention, the whole argument was in front of the curtis' house. who needed tv when you had your weekly dallas and yn drama, huh?
seemingly on queue, rain started to pour, drenching you in water. you let out a huff in annoyance as you finally made it to your house, slamming your front door behind you.
meanwhile dallas stood in front of the curtis house still, watching you walk away. he tried to act like he didn't care, but deep down he knew he did. "did she get home safe? is she alright? man, i messed up. god, im a jerk. do i love her?" were the questions racing through his mind. he didn't know wether he should run to your house or keep going about his day like nothing happened.
the sound of the curtis' screen door closing brought back dallas' attention as darry walked up to him, trying to give whatever advice he could. "hey dal, maybe you guys should call it quits or somethin', i mean-"
"hey man how 'bout you shutup, alright? mind your own." dallas clapped back, interrupting darry. darry seemingly understood his defeat as he raised his hands in surrender and backed up into the house. all the guys asked what was going on, and as a response he just sighed and shook his head.
..
about an hour later you heard a knock on your door. assuming it was your best friend marcia, since you'd called her a couple minutes before to sleep over, you opened the door without checking who it was. to your surprise, you were met with dallas.
in his hand he had a rose, definitely stolen, some soda (i say pop where im from but whatever..), and a box of milk duds, also probably stolen.
you scoff out of shock before finally speaking. "dally? what's this?" you asked. dallas just rolled his eyes and responded "just let me in the house, man i wouldn't even be caught dead doin' this for anyone.." you couldn't help but grin as you let him in, closing the door behind him. yeah you guys had previously argued but, it felt good to be in dally's presence again..
you both took a seat on your bed, sitting in silence for a bit. finally, you decided you'd had enough of the tension. "so, you gonna explain where all this came from" you asked, pointing towards the items he'd brought you. "just thought i'd do somethin' nice man, that's it." he leaned back onto your bed a bit. "oh, sure okay." you responded dryly.
dallas sat back up and scooted towards you. "yn.." he said, making you look up and respond with a simple 'hm?'. "listen, i care about you alright? but you gotta stop with the saying you love me. i'm not a good guy and i don't do right all the time. you gotta love someone who ain't like me, alright?" you frowned at his words. "dallas, the way you see yourself is totally different than how i do. i know you've been through a lot that you'll probably never tell me about, but that doesn't mean anything in my eyes. i do love you and i won't stop saying it cause i know one day you'll say it back. sometimes you're a little cold, sometimes it's too cold for me here...but i'll keep tryin' anyways dally." you turned away from dallas as you spoke, tears filling up your eyes yet again.
dallas sighed and stayed quiet for a bit, seemingly thinking about what to say. finally, he replied "yeah, alright. hey ask me again in the future. maybe my world'll be different and i'll think about it, huh?" you told yourself "at least it was a start" as you nodded in response to dallas' words.
finally, you'd decided to move onto dallas' lap. he grinned as he leaned in to kiss you. and you guys kissed for a while too. dallas didn't need to say it, but you knew he loved you deep down.
and he knew it too.
yet still, you both awaited the next argument to come. after all, he's still (somewhat) the same old dally. only difference is you both knew he cared about you a bit (and sorta loved you too).
114 notes · View notes
hertzwritings · 1 year
Text
You spin me right round (baby, right round)
A/N: Am I alive? Physically, yes. Am I okay? Probably not. Did I miss all of you guys and writing? YES. Honestly, it’s been weird not writing and keeping in contact with all of you, but I’m trying to get back to it – and that brings us to here. Also, I’ve been listening to Sleep Token on repeat, so I’m feeling things.
I don’t have a set schedule right now, mostly because I have no idea if I’ll be posting regularly or just on a whim, but for now, I’m just getting back in the groove of things!
Your comments, likes, reblogs mean the world to me and would definitely help me stay on it, so if you’ve got anything to say, say it, my loves.
Remember English isn’t my first language, so if there’s errors in grammar or language, try to overlook it. Love you all!
Also, please be gentle wit me on my first day back – it’s like being nervous to start a new school, really.
MASTERLIST
Ask me anything/requests/tag list requests
Pairing: NotFamous!Henry Cavill x female reader
Warnings: Language, dorks being dorks, meet cute, strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, smut (18+, minors DNI), dirty talk, slightly dom/sub, spanking, p in v, tongue on v, blowjobs, slight Msub to Mdom, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, creampie, petnames
Wordcount: 4633 (whoops)
You spin me right round (baby, right round)
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  Laundry day. Probably the worst of days, especially considering the hefty trek from your 5th floor apartment to the basement, which would be bad enough in and of itself, but carrying the massive load of laundry down without a functioning elevator without spilling half of your delicates did seem like an almost impossible task.
At any rate, you were going to do it, and you were going to be a strong, independent woman, who could definitely carry it down and back up again without dropping a thong or three (like last time, where Pete from 5D was lurking).
You heaved the blue IKEA-bag higher on your shoulder, silently cursing yourself for not actually doing the damned laundry more than you did, and began the descent into the musty basement, your trusty laundry-tokens jangling in your pocket of the loose shorts, you were wearing.
It took longer than you’d like to admit, and you almost did drop the entire bag down a flight of stairs, but you made it and with a loud grunt, you pushed the door to the basement and laundry-room open, almost stumbling inside.
“Oh.” You locked eyes with a very handsome stranger, who looked up from the only dryer, hands still buried pretty deeply in there. “Oh, you need this one?” He asked politely, and that voice – smooth velvet, mixed with a deep rumble that settled nicely in your chest and between your legs. The accent didn’t help at all with how attractive you found him, either, and you shifted your weight slightly. Fuck.   “I-I… I’m… Not right…” You squeaked, silently cursing yourself for wearing your gray, tattered t-shirt with a faded logo on it, that definitely did not do anything nicely for your shape. You cleared your throat. “No, I’m sorry, no. I’m still in the early laundry-stages.” You said with a smile, and immediately wanted to die. Laundry stages?? He grinned, a fanged tooth catching his lower lip. “Alright. New to the building?” He asked, casually loading a basket with his clothes.
  “Sort of. More of a recluse, that have been living here for a month, and just never do laundry at normal people-times.” He chuckled and stood up to his full height. He was an impressive man, easily towering a head and a half above you, and he looked enormous. Muscles rolled under his perfect skin on his arms, and you couldn’t help your brain going in all other directions than polite talk with a neighbor. “Well, nice to meet you, recluse. I’m Henry.” He balanced the basket on his hip (a beautiful move, if you were honest) and extended his hand, which you cautiously shook. “I’m Y/N.” You said with a small smile. His hand was warm and the grasp was firmer than you had expected, small callouses on the tips of his fingers that graced the inside of your wrist deliciously. Fuckedy fuck. “Y/N. Good name.” He winked at you. “Oh, don’t use the second washing machine…” He pointed to the washer with a bright red 2 painted on it. “Stinky Pete from 5D used it, and I don’t want to imagine what on earth he washed, but it still smells vaguely like rot.” He winked at you. “Bye, Recluse Y/N!” And with that he left, leaving you slightly shellshocked and a scent trail of hazel and wood behind.
It went on like that for a few weeks; you showed up, he was already there in various states of undress (once you even came face to face with him in just boxers, because he had spilled what appeared to be red wine everywhere) and you exchanged pleasantries before leaving the basement and going back to your apartment, sighing deeply over the fact, that you never actually talked to the handsome stranger.
----------
 A while later, a little past midnight, you were back at it (still no working elevator) and found yourself face to face with the very handsome British man, who this time was wearing fucking gray sweatpants and a tank top, that definitely didn’t leave anything to the imagination. You could see every single muscle underneath the shirt as he loaded the laundry.
“Ah, look who’s back!” he grinned at you. “I saved the best washer for you, but don’t tell Mrs. Selton on the fourth. She can’t know I play favorites, or I’ll never get cookies again.” You laughed. “Alright, your secret’s safe with me, sir.” You said and stood next to him, before starting to load the washer. He tried to say something, but almost bit his tongue and groaned at the sensation. “Are you always this smooth?” You asked, laughing slightly, as he began coughing. “Inhaled… Spit…” He coughed again. When he was finally breathing normally, he raised an eyebrow at you. “I’ll have you know, this is in no way an indication of how I handle normal interactions with people. It’s late, and I’m slightly flustered.” He said with a small smirk.
“Mhm.” You nodded, while mindlessly stuffing your washer. “Sure, I’ll believe you.” “Hey, you don’t know me.” He said, leaning against the dryer and crossed his arms. “Maybe you know my name, and probably the color and general state of my underwear, but you don’t know me.” “I never said anything.” You grinned and closed the lid on the washer. “Wait, that’s not even close to full.” He tsked at you and opened it again. “You have to really stuff it in there, or you’ll be down here until morning.” “Excuse you, can you get your hands off of my laundry, you weirdo.” You slapped his hand away. “Maybe I don’t want my clothes overly wrinkled, have you considered that?” You asked. “Pfft. That’s the charm of communal laundry. It’ll always smell a little like other people and it will be wrinkled.” You guffawed. “Sure thing, Henry. Any plans for tonight?” you asked, mindlessly pouring detergent into the container. He looked at you with his head tilted slightly, a few stray curls bouncing onto his forehead. Goddamnit, it should be illegal to look like that when doing laundry. “Eh, not really. It’s Sunday, Sundays are for me and my boy.” You raised an eyebrow. “Your boy, huh?” “Oh, didn’t I tell you? I am indeed a parent. I have a child.” He said proudly, leaning over you to press the on-button for you. You jumped onto the counter behind you and sat down on it, insistingly ignoring the creaking of the wood beneath your butt. That’s an insecurity for another day. “Really?” He nodded. “Would your boy happen to be a giant dog?” he frowned. “How the hell did you know that?” You pointed to the unwashed load of laundry, where a suspicious amount of hair had settled on pretty much everything. “Why are you pointing at my... Yeah, well, that is a lot of hair…” He looked back at you with a furrowed brow. “Why are you even looking down there? My laundry should be sacred!” He said teasingly, covering the basket with his arm. “Well… That’s… Uhm… Anyway.” You laughed. “Are you just down here for fun, or did you wait for me?” You asked with a grin. He shrugged. “Oooor… Did you wait for me down here, because we’re the only people in this building that are somewhat close in age, and you are trying to befriend me, which is why you’ve hidden a bottle of wine in your laundry?” “Stop making assumptions that are astutely accurate, it’ll turn weird soon.” He groaned, and – as you thought – pulled a bottle of rosé out of his laundry. “I’m not astutely accurate, I didn’t know it was rosé.” You grinned. He laughed lightly and cocked an eyebrow. “To be fair, it’s mostly because I have nothing to do, and I have a feeling you never celebrated moving here. So…” He opened the bottle with a swift move and pulled two red solo cups out of the basket. “Drink?” You laughed.
“Love to.”  
 “Okay, come on, why on earth are you keeping these?” He asked, holding a very old thong between his fingers. “Shut up, and stop fondling my underwear, you freak!” you quickly grabbed it from him with a laugh. The bottle had been emptied, and a new one had been brought down and for some reason, in your tipsy mind, it was a great idea helping each other folding each other’s clothes while you were waiting on the load that was currently spinning in the dryer. “I’ll have you know, some clothes are sentimental!” You said, throwing the thong into your blue IKEA-bag. He snickered. “How on earth is tattered and holed thongs sentimental? Besides, to be quite frank, at this point it’s just… Like… A string.” He laughed. “You’re the one to talk! You threw a pair of his socks at him. “I have never seen so many pairs of boxers with holes in them!” He shrugged. “I call it the surprise.” You frowned. “The surprise?” “The surprise.” He moved closer to you, and every single hair on your body stood up, while your breath hitched. He whispered into your ear, closely enough for you to feel his lips touch your earlobe. “If I’m feeling very saucy, I’ll simply rip them off and yell surprise!.” He said and laughed, sending vibrations through your entire body. “Ah, why of course. That’s a totally normal thing to do.” He pulled back slightly, his eyes a little darker than usual. “As opposed to being sentimentally attached to a thong?” he asked, his arms caging you in – it wasn’t an unpleasant experience, but it did make your thighs shake a little. His scent enveloped you completely and made it almost impossible to think. “Many tings are sentimental. Underwear, stuff…” You answered lamely. He laughed, a low rumble in his chest and cocked an eyebrow at you. When did his face get so close? “Ah, of course. Stuff and thongs. Nothing better than relieving the good, old days of… Black thongs?” He said softly, his breath fanning over your face. It was intoxicating. “Right. Besides, you have no right to judge me when your underwear looks like it could’ve been made during World War two.” You retorted, shifting slightly in place. He chuckled. “Well… Maybe I have to get new ones, then.”
His lips were so, so close to yours, all it would take was just a little nudge and you would be connected. He was intoxicating as he had you caged, muscles rolling in his arms, his scent of wood and something inherently Henry fully filled your brain, and you almost moved your head, but the sound of the dryer going off pulled both of you out of whatever that was.
“Second load done, one more to go!” He said a little breathlessly and pushed himself away from you – you let out a breath, you didn’t know you were holding and jumped down from the counter. “Great.” You whispered, bending down to grab whatever was in there – you would’ve just kept going, if it wasn’t for the small groan that sounded behind you. You turned your head around and caught Henry looking at your ass. “Excuse you.” You smirked. He cleared his throat. “Were you just looking at my ass, Henry from 4C?” “Uhm… No, I… I-” He groaned. “Fine, I was, but you can’t blame me! You’re bending down like that, and you’re wearing those fucking shorts… I can’t help it, you’re fucking gorgeous, darling.” You shivered. “Oh.” A thick silence fell between you, and you slowly stood up, laundry be damned. “Yeah, well… It’s an unfair advantage, I really tried to be proper and all that, but... Jesus Christ, Y/N.” he groaned again and closed his eyes – the small twitch in his gray sweatpants did not go unseen by you. “Respectfully, are you wearing anything underneath those sweatpants?” You asked, slightly out of breath while heat and wetness were pooling in your panties by the mere idea. “Maybe, maybe not. Are you wearing anything under that?” He asked, opening his eyes slightly. “No, my sentimental thongs are in the laundry.” Wherever the confidence came from, you had no idea, but his reaction to you was more than enough for you to keep going. You were slightly shaky as you moved a step closer to him. “Y/N…” He whispered. “Henry…” You were chest to chest to him now, his lower back against the counter. It was slightly exhilarating to have the control, especially over such a big man as Henry. “Henry…” You whispered his name again, and a fucking whimper fell from his lips. Yeah, fuck this.
You pounced – as best as you could, height difference and all – and the moment, he realized what you were doing, his arms wrapped around you and lifted you slightly, so your lips could connect. It was electric. No, not electric, it was like a symphony of colors, feelings and it was like plunging into cool water, when his lips touched yours. You moaned against his lips, and he gasped, letting your tongue glide against his. Deepening the kiss, he straightened up slightly, allowing your legs to wrap around his waist, holding on for dear life. Your lips and tongues slid against each other fervently, a slight groan reverberating from his throat send you over the edge. You bit his lower lip, pulling a soft moan from him, and wrapped your hand in is hair, tugging it slightly. The reaction was better than you could’ve ever imagined. His hands moved from your waist to your ass, squeezing hard, while a mix of moans and your name tumbled from his lips to yours – you could feel his hard length pressing against the sweatpants and your shorts, and you were sure you were leaving wet spots on his pants. “Fuck, Henry…” You mumbled his name, and he turned around to place you on the counter, before going to your throat, kissing and biting. You moaned at the feeling and threw your head back. “Harder.” You moaned, and felt him smile against your skin, before his teeth sunk deeper into your skin, his large hands tightening their grip on your thighs, causing you to roll your hips. “Fucking hell, darling, I can almost taste you from here…” He whispered against you, his hands moving upwards. “Hmm, really?” You moaned, rolling your hips again. “Nobody’s stopping you.” You tugged his hair again for good measure. “No, you’re right about that.” He mumbled, his hands dancing up, up, up, until they reached the waistband of your shorts and gently pulled them down, letting the fabric slide down your legs – you lifted your ass from the counter, allowing them to fully fall off of you, and he groaned at the sight in front of him. “Fuuuck, darling… I can see how fucking wet you are… Can I taste you?” He asked, his darkened eyes finding yours, chest heaving. You cocked an eyebrow. “Ask nicely.” He chuckled, a thick finger gliding along your hip, slowly inching towards your mound. “Please, Y/N, please… Fuck, I need to taste you, please, let me taste you… let me eat you out until you cum on my tongue.” For a seemingly proper British man, he was filthy. “Yes.” He didn’t wait a second before moving down your body, teeth catching both fabric and nipple on his way down, before he stopped, licking his lips, while looking at your exposed, dripping pussy. “Y/N…” He mumbled your name like a prayer, and before you even had the time to breathe, he licked a thick line along your lips, parting them with it. He moaned at the taste and dove in like a man starved. You mewled at the feeling, his tongue moving around your clit, fingers still on your inner thigh, and you could barely hold your upper body up as his tongue dipped inside of you. “Fuck, yes… I want to feel you cum on me, darling…” He mumbled against you, his hips rutting slightly into nothing. “Fingers. Please, fingers.” You managed to moan as his tongue went back to your clit, hardening against it as he began to eat you out with an intensity you’d never experienced before. He obeyed silently, adding two thick fingers into your dripping pussy, curling them upwards. You bit back a scream as they filled you, slowly sliding in and out, hitting your g-spot over and over, while his tongue did magic on your clit; you’d forever be ruined by this man, and he hadn’t even been inside of you yet. “Fuck!” You bit back a scream as he sped up, tongue and fingers working in perfect unison to pull you closer to the edge; he chuckled darkly against you, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your clit. “Be quiet, little bird, or someone will hear.” He said slowly, taking a small break from your clit. “Fuck off, it’s like three in the mo-or…” You didn’t finish your sentence, as he dove back in, this time with a speed and intensity, that could’ve killed you on a different day. “Shit, I’m gonna…” He moaned as you tightened around his fingers, and he slurped your juices from you, keeping the pace as best he could. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, baby… I want to feel you cum, can you cum for me, please…” He whimpered as your pussy pulled his fingers deeper inside of you, and you shook slightly.
You couldn’t stop it, even if you wanted to. Your orgasm hit you like a fucking train, white spots appearing in your vision, and you felt, more than heard, his moaning as you rode your orgasm out on his face and fingers.
“Fuck, baby, look at you… You squirted for me, didn’t you, darling?” he looked up at you with a devilish smirk on his face, that was shimmering with your cum under the low fluorescent lights. You moaned – his fingers were still going in and out of you. “Now…” he whispered, his voice dangerously low. “You get on your knees, darling.” E stood up and wiped his face gracefully, putting a single finger in his mouth. “You taste fucking amazing.” He grinned at you and stood to his full height, a sense of authority filling the room. “Knees.” He commanded, and who were you to deny that? You slid down from the counter on shaky legs and landed on your knees, looking up at him. “Fuck, darling, you can’t look at me like that, I’ll fucking cum here and now.” He groaned. “Well, where’s the fun in that?” You said while your fingers grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants and pulled them down, letting his cock spring free. You almost salivated at the look of it. Thick, throbbing slightly, a thick vein running down the length of it and a drop of precum sparkling under the lights. He was huge. “Well, what are you waiting for, little bird?” he chuckled, before he cut it off with a moan, as your lips wrapped around the tip, and you slid down as far as your jaw and throat allowed you to. He moaned as the tip hit the back of your throat and you choked slightly on it – you were dripping wet, as you began to move back and fort on his length, swallowing as much as you could, reveling in the taste of is precum. He twitched slightly and a choked moan spilled from his lips, as he thrusted forwards. “Fuck, baby… Shit, you’re really... Fuck… Good at this…” He moaned. You smiled around his length and moved faster, hearing the choked moans above, spurring you on. “Fuck, baby, stop, stop, stop… Stop, I’ll cum if you keep going…” You whimpered as he pulled away from you, a line of spit connecting you, and you looked up at him with big eyes. He groaned and held your chin with a large hand. “Good girl. I want to feel you before I cum, darling.” He whispered, gently guiding you up to your feet again by your chin. He kissed you deeply before turning you around, bending you over the counter. “Fuck, this ass… You’re a fucking wonder, baby…” He reveled, a hand falling on your ass. You moaned at the sensation and your hips bucked, exposing yourself more to him. “Oh, look at you, doing so fucking good for me already, aren’t you?” he whispered. You moaned again. “Henry, please…” You whimpered his name and tried to push back to get him inside of you, but he chuckled and held you tightly in place. “No, baby girl, you’re going to stay right there.” He ran a hand down your spine and slapped your ass again, forcing a whimper from you. “Now, you ask nicely, and I’ll fuck you right here, right now.” He said darkly, his hand gently running circles over your ass, sometimes dipping between your legs. You coked on a moan, and barely had the wherewithal to create a coherent sentence. “Please, please, p-please, fuck, Henry, please… Please f-fuck me, I’m begging you-u…” His finger dipped inside of you. “You want to feel my cock slowly slide inside of you, baby?” He asked, dragging his finger in and out painfully slow. You whimpered a broken yes. “Want to feel me dragging against your walls, huh? Want me to fill you, let my cum drip out of you?” You were a shaking mess as another finger was added. “Y-yes…” You felt like crying. It was so good, but so torturous to feel his fingers glide so fucking slowly. “Ah, you can do better than that, darling.” He said, bending over you – you could feel the tip of his cock against your ass, as his mouth found your neck again. “P-please, Henry, please… I want to feel your cock in me, please…” “Mhm… I want to fill you up, darling… I want to watch my thick cock slide in and out of your tight pussy, seeing you take me…” He rambled, fingers moving faster now, and you groaned at his words. “Fuck, y-yes, Henry, I’m b-begging you, please…” you mewled. He withdrew his fingers too quickly for your liking, and he spat on your already soaked pussy, before lining himself up. “You think you can take all of me right now, baby? Let my thick cock go as deep as it can, huh?” He asked, rubbing the tip against your entrance, smearing the wetness around. You nodded, desperate for anything at this point. “No, no, that won’t do, little bird.” He tsked at you and his free hand wrapped around your hair and tugged slightly, arcing your back as your head got pulled back. You moaned loudly. “Mhm, keep the sound down, we’re in a public area, sweetheart.” He said with a small chuckle. “Ask me and mean it.” He ordered, the tip of his throbbing cock so fucking close to glide inside of you. “Fucking fill me, or I swear to god…” you begged, and whatever you wanted to say got lost in your throat, as he slid inside of you swiftly and in one, single thrust, bottomed out.
You shrieked in both pain and pleasure, your legs shaking and if he hadn’t kept a tight grip on your hair and waist, you’d probably collapse. “Oh, good girl, look at you taking all of me… Sit, it looks to fucking good to see my cock in you, baby…” He mumbled. He didn’t move yet, simply allowing you to adjust.  After a few seconds, you rolled your hips to let him know you were good, and he chuckled darkly. “There’s a good, little slut, darling.” His words combined with his voice sent wetness down your thighs as he began moving, slowly at first, before picking up speed. You felt every single twitch inside of you, and he filled you to the brim. You had never been so fucking full before, and you’d never want to stop, if you were honest. He angled himself a little better and pistoned in and out of you; you saw stars and a red-hot burning started in your abdomen seconds before your orgasm hit you; it was blinding and your legs were barely functioning as you came around him, your pussy pulling him deeper, as your thighs got soaked and he moaned. “Fuuuuck, you’re so fucking tight, Y/N… Fuck, I’m not going to last long…” He moaned as you twitched around him and met his thrust, the sound of your skin slapping against each other filling the otherwise quiet room. “Fucking fill me, please… I want to feel you cum, I’m b-begging you…” you moaned, almost delirious at this point. He roared and bit down on your shoulder, before he picked up speed and began fucking you fiercely, his tick and long cock hitting your cervix slightly. You mewled and another rush of wetness went down your legs, as you neared another orgasm while he whispered praise and encouragements in your ear.
“Look at that fucking… Oh, fuck…” He groaned and thrusted harder than ever, his rhythm becoming irregular. “Look at you taking me so well, darling… You’re doing so good for me, can you cum again?” He licked the spot, he had just bitten. “Can you cum for me again, baby girl? Let me… Fuck… Feel you cum again?”
As if you could deny him.
He clamped a hand over your mouth as you came wit a scream, your pussy tightening and pulsing around his length as he fucked you into oblivion. He roared with pleasure and his hand moved from your waist to your ass, grabbing it harshly before picking up speed and chased his own high. You were shaking, barely coherent as he fucked you relentlessly. “Henry… Fuck, please… Let me feel you cum… Fuck, p-please, I want to feel you fill me, please…” You moaned his name like a prayer, and he growled before his speed stuttered. “Fuck, baby… I’m going to fill you up, you’ll be dripping for days… I’m so fucking deep in your tight pussy…” he mumbled, his hand bruising your ass, wile he pistoned back and forth; he fell silent for half a second, before you felt him swell and twitch slightly. “Tell me you’re mine.” He growled. “Mine.” His cock pounded you relentlessly. “H-henry… Shit, y-yes, yes, I’m yours!” You mewled as he twitched again.
Ropes of his cum painted your insides, and you came with him as you felt the heat of his spend inside of you. Henry growled as you tightened around him again, and he jerked his hips so he was a deep as e could be, whispering praise to you, as you rode out your own orgasm.
 You stayed bent over the creaky counter, sweat dripping form the both of you, his cock still inside of you, for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath.
“Shit, that was…” he whispered, kissing the bitemark on your shoulder gently. You shivered. “Mhmm…” Words did kind of fail you at the moment. He seemed to understand whatever you meant, at any rate, and chuckled gently, before slowly pulling out with a hiss. “Jesus Christ… You’re a fucking wonder, you know that, Y/N?” He asked, the sweetest smile painting his features. You grinned with slightly bruised lips, and pulled your shorts back up. No reason to try and clean up. “Says you.” He bent down and grabbed the black thong, that was more string than fabric at this point, at stuffed it in the pocket of his sweatpants.
“Sentimental value, you know?” You laughed. “Does this mean I get to see your surprise-move?” You asked jokingly. He cocked his eyebrow and a smile spread across his face – he was a goddamn Adonis.
“Well, I do have more wine in my apartment… And a bed…”
“Lead the way.”
 TAGLIST:
@acaceta @a-skov @buckyshattergirl​ @angelmather1 @cooldreamlandsandwich @doubletriplepowerbomb @est1887@enchantedbytomandhenry @fionnthebandersnacc @herroyalbubbliness @jeepgirls-stuff @Keiva1000 @kebabgirl67 @littlebirdofrivia @luclittlepond @mis-lil-red @multifanficdom @one-sweet-gubler @pandaxnienke @perfunctory-username69 @penneferofvenerburg @sleutherclaw @sofiebstar @summersong69 @spookyboogyuniverse @stardusted26 @thereisa8ella @timetraveller4@thatonechickhere @themanfromu @thelastpyle @tragicphoenix13 @yourlocalhoney @wheretheriversrunintothesea @severewobblerlightdragon @leigh70 @phildunphyisadilf​
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[Not] Guilty Part 2
Part 1 
A few people expressed interest in this becoming a series. I had a storyline for it when I made the first ‘chapter’. I do warn you guys though I will probably be slow to post. I have a hard time when I feel like I have to write the next chapter of something. Not to mention I am currently packing (and procrastinating packing by writing) to move from Michigan to Tennessee for my new post-grad job!  
This is not a spoiler because I hinted heavily (told you really) at it at the end of the first chapter, but I did want to warn everyone- this has the ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY TROPE. For those of you who do not like those stories, you have been warned. The case is mentioned in this story but is not its main focus, but what will become of the reader and Sonny’s relationship. (I may change the name because it implies otherwise.)  
Warnings- mentions of sex abuse, physical abuse, prison violence, suicide and accidental pregnancy trope (just in case you missed it ^)
Thank you for reading that really long author's note <3
The breakup should be harder on you. It was the longest relationship you had been in. The nervousness you had felt when you had crept up to the six-month marker and the kiss of death to every relationship you had ever had. It had come in like a lion, with you causing fights waiting for the inevitable, and out like a lamb when Sonny realized what the problem was. He had maturely communicated that he had no intent in letting you go. It had been smooth sailing for the most part after that. The relief you had felt when it all just seemed to work out. You guys were just a few weeks away from the year mark.  
The end was as abrupt as your cousin Randy’s arrest. The betrayal of Sonny going after him without any regard to you. Then the attempted railroading from him to you of Randy’s guilt. The whole thing had left you cold and numb.  
You knew Dominick Carisi was a good lawyer and now he could be the one to put Randy away for life. On a charge you were sure he didn’t commit. You hadn’t seen him much since the day you refused to let him into your apartment. You only saw him during court proceedings or meetings with him and Randy’s defense lawyer. Not that he hadn’t tried. He had called, texted, and stopped by your apartment frequently during the first few weeks. You were sure he thought that you were just overacting and that you would come to see the light of your cousin’s misdoings. Process and then accept what was going on. The only difference was you knew deep in your soul that your cousin wasn’t guilty. You wouldn't let anyone railroad you into thinking anything differently.  
Not even a man you loved. 
You had been actively avoiding him and any emotion that he provoked. You tried to ignore that you were a hot mess. The stress and emotional strain caused constant fatigue and churning in your stomach which had a tendency to make you sick. You had been trying to take care of everything for the case and still work overtime to continue paying your bills and for Randy’s pricy lawyer. You had even tried to get the money to bail Randy out, but Sonny had asked for an outrageous bond that even combined your working-class family couldn’t afford. You had tried to make up for it by putting money in his commissary and visiting once a week. Randy assured you he was okay, but it didn’t help make you feel better. Especially, when you saw the black eye and cut lip on your last visit.  
Today was court and it was Randy’s turn to testify. You sat there in support of him and tried not to wince or shift uncomfortably as years of family secrets were let loose in open court. It was to help show Randy’s character the lawyer had explained. It was smart but you didn’t have to like listening to it.  
Randy testified to his mental health issues. His bipolar that left him manic and on top of the world one day and then so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed the next. He went on to talk about the sexual and physical abuse he had received at the hands of his own father. How he had used substance to numb himself. He was in tears when he talked about how he could never hurt someone like he had been hurt. He would rather put a bullet in his head.  
He had tried to skirt around the question about his uncle. But when he was pressed, he talked about how he had witnessed the brutal murder of his father at his uncle's hands when he had found out and then watched his uncle be arrested and put in prison. How he had been put on multiple 72-hour psych holds in the years following. Listening to it all was hard and made you want to curl up in a corner and sob. It was heartbreaking to listen to. Randy looked and sounded believable- like a victim himself who deserved empathy.  
Sonny turned in his seat to look at you. You were only able to maintain eye contact for only a few seconds. It had been long enough to see the understanding in his eyes. The almost audible clicking of all the puzzle pieces of your life that you dodged around or refused to talk about when you were together were finally coming together for him. You could also see the frustration at you not being honest with him and him being blindsided in open court. 
When recess was called until Monday you had to keep yourself from running out of the courthouse and instead force yourself to walk at a normal pace. You couldn’t face any of the SVU detectives that you were once close to. You hear your name called and your body freezes without your permission. A Staten Island accent thickened with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
You can’t even turn back to look at him. You feel exhausted as you say. “You didn’t want to listen.” 
≪ °❈° ≫ 
You return to court four days later, and there is something strange brewing in the courtroom. You can feel it in the air. You can see it. There is no jury and the courtroom is empty. The rest happens in a blur. ADA Dominick Carisi stands up and tells the judge they had found further evidence over the weekend and they wanted to drop all charges, except for possession. They offered a deal on time served. You felt the tears rush down your face in disbelief. 
You find yourself in the hallway and a hand touches your shoulder from behind. You turn around to see Olivia Benson. “For what it is worth, I’m sorry.” Her face is sincere but all you could hear in your mind was the echoing of her words to you of his guilt and how it was normal to be in denial. It could take a while for your mind to be able to comprehend that someone you know, and love is capable of such malicious intent. “For all the trouble and for all this has cost you.” Even in your haze, you knew she wasn’t talking about the money you had put into Randy’s defense. “With his DNA in her apartment and on that blunt we really thought-” 
“Sharing weed with a woman doesn’t mean you're going to rape and kill her.” Your words are bitter and distant even to your own ears. 
“Of course not,” Olivia paused gathering her thoughts. 
“What happened? What did you guys find?”  
“Well, we went back over the timeline. We had a hard time believing Randy because when we interviewed him, he didn’t even know where he had been for most of the night.” You knew he had been hopped up on some pretty strong stuff that night. “Do you know the cemetery a couple of blocks from where we arrested him?” You felt like a bolt of lightning had struck through you. You did in fact know it. It was where his older brother had been buried after he committed suicide at twenty. “There was a security camera there that had been installed because of some teenager destroying headstones. It shows Randy there hours before Mary Moore’s death to hours after it. He slept there all night actually.” 
You huff out a laugh. Thomas was Randy’s older brother by almost ten years. He, out of the three sons, had taken the worst of the abuse from their father. He had protected Randy and the youngest David until the moment he had ended it all, but it seemed even death couldn’t stop him from protecting his younger brother. 
You see Randy getting released, a bag of belongings in his hand and you start to head over to him completely forgetting that you had been in a conversation with the detective. You are only reminded when you hear her voice raise slightly as she says, “You know, Carisi is the one that started looking back at the timeline. He is the reason this case was dropped.” You freeze feeling something twist in your stomach. An emotion that you don’t want to deal with in this happy moment. 
“It doesn’t change anything.”  
You stride to Randy’s side and hug. You weren’t allowed to touch him when you were visiting him in lockup. He clings to you burying his face into your neck and you can feel the hot tears against your neck. “Thank you. Thank you so much for never giving up on me.” You hug him tighter feeling your own tears roll down your cheeks.  
≪ °❈° ≫ 
You were sitting back at the apartment curled up on the couch wrapped in a blanket as Randy was spending an ungodly amount of time in the bathroom. You smiled to yourself, just happy that he was home. Even if he was back to crashing on your couch. He joined on the couch, hair still wet from his shower. He leaned back into the cushions with a sigh. The two of you sat in silence processing all that had happened in the last four months.  
“I found a rehab program when I was locked up. It focuses on people with mental health issues like my bipolar. I called and they said they had a spot open for me. Someone ran out. Good luck, huh?” You laugh shaking your head.  
“Good to know you still have your positivity streak.” You lay back feeling absolutely exhausted. You had been having a fatigue that just wouldn’t go away. “I think it's a good idea though. It would be good for you to get that settled. Your being off and on your meds hasn't been helping. I just want you to be happy, and have a real chance at the life you deserve.”  
“Yeah, I know. I hope you know I appreciate everything you have done for me. Everything that you have had to sacrifice.” You say his name, but he cuts you off, “No, really Chickadee. All these years, you didn’t have to do any of it. Without you, I would have been dead or locked up three times over by now.” You reach out and start running your finger through his hair. “It’ll probably be good for you to have to space anyways.” 
“I don’t mind you sleeping on my couch.” You assure him. 
“I know, but with you being pregnant and all. I’m sure you-” 
“I’m sorry about me being what?” Randy doesn’t miss a beat. 
“Oh, come on Chickadee. I know you were trying not to make a big deal out of it because of everything that was going on but-” You shake your head at him, laughing. 
“Randy, I’m not pregnant.” The finality in your voice makes him turn his position to face you more fully. He quirks an eyebrow at you. 
“Are you sure about that?” His tone is one of disbelief as he eyes your form. You smack his shoulder saying his name loudly. “Well, I would check into that, anyhow. You know with the fatigue, upset stomach, morning sickness, and with how big those things have gotten.” He gestures to your breast with a wave of his hand.  
You look down at them and feel your mind starting to spiral as you try to think of the last time you had a period. You bite your thumb as you realize it was before the case had started. While it wasn’t uncommon for you to skip when you were stressed out, that was a considerable amount of time. “Alright, I’m kicking you out of my bed. I haven’t had a good night's sleep in almost four months.” Randy didn’t seem to notice your mind spinning. He thought that you were still just messing around with him. He had no idea the can of worms he had just opened in your head. 
You stood up numbly as he started making the couch his makeshift bed. Then flopping onto it with a content sigh. You say nothing as you go to grab your purse and head toward the drug store a block over.   
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moongothic · 3 months
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(Frankenstein'd two asks together for the sake of previty)
I've been pretty torn between answering this ask and just doing a deep dive re-analysis post about Marineford as a whole (from Crocodile's perspective) because I feel like rereading it now as a Crocodad Truther, I could probably make a whole lot of new observations and/or read into things differently than I did last time I read it (when I was rereading for the purpose of studying the viability of Crocodad) Like there's so much to say about the whole arc and I'd include this line of thought in there anyways... But also, do I really feel like writing a giant essay like that........
I am going to start this by refering to this mini-essay I wrote like a month ago, about how Crocodile seems to have this attitude of "no crying over spilt milk". What's happened has happened, what's done is done, it's your own fault things turned out the way they did, there's no undoing any of it and you just have to continue on. And I do think that attitude would be key here to understanding Crocodile's actions in Marineford re:Crocodad
(Sidenote because this is not relevant to the rest of the post, but the reason this is about Crocodad and not CrocoUncle etc is because if Crocodile was only loosely related to Luffy it would not have the same kind of impact emotionally (for Crocodile; like there is a difference between a nephew and a son). Additionally a part of Crocodad is that it ties into Crocodile's connection with Ivankov in a really important way. If Crocodile was only loosely related to Luffy, him also being trans would kind of be like a random sidenote without being relevant to the two being family, but suddenly if Crocodile is Luffy's other biological parent, him being trans matters a lot more. Also if he's not Luffy's other dad then we'd be still stuck asking who the fuck birthed Luffy to begin with)
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While Sengoku's announcement here would make for a horrific revelation to Crocodile in this situation (a revelation we never see his immidiate reaction to, which continues to be deeply sus), what would it change, really?
The little idiot child who Crocodile had attempted to murder multiple times was his own son. Sure, he might've insantly lost whatever grudge he might've held against Luffy, then what? That feeling would be one-sided, because at this point in the story Luffy hated Crocodile's guts and he knew that too. Luffy has no idea about them being related, and even if Crocodile literally walked up the kid right that second and told him the truth, what would it change? He'd still be the man who nearly nuked a million people off the face of the earth, took over a country and killed Luffy and his friends while laughing about it. Being Luffy's other dad wouldn't make him any less of a horrible asshole (if anything it might make it slightly worse 'cause you get to add shit like "child abandonment" onto his list of crimes).
Luffy came to Marineford to save Ace. Crocodile came to Marineford to kill Whitebeard. He had no reason to interfere with Luffy's quest, and with the help Luffy already was recieving from the prison escapees, the Newkama and the Whitebeard Pirates, what would Crocodile's assistance add to the mix? Would Luffy even welcome him in helping save his brother?
Luffy had his own life, a life Crocodile had not been a part of. He had no right to try to insert himself into it at this point, after all he had done to Luffy. There's no crying over spilled milk. What's done is done, you just have to move on. He should just focus on what he came to do; get his revenge and take Whitebeard's head, as planned.
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Deep breaths
...Only to realize that Whitebeard is a dying old man and not worth even killing anymore, because he's not the same Primebeard whom once beat Crocodile and crushed all his dreams. Defeating Whitebeard would not give him the catharsis he came for.
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And at that point, the fuck was Crocodile going to do? The revenge he wants isn't there anymore 'cause it went bad a few decades ago. And between the raging war and Doflamingo on his ass it's not like he could just sneak out without anybody noticing. He doesn't have allies (aside from Daz under him) to worry about. He only has his hatred to the World Government.
At that point, he might as well be a nuisance to the Government and assist Luffy. Even if the help wasn't welcomed, even if Luffy hated him and regardless if he knew the truth or not, helping Luffy right then and there would still be better than letting the Government have their way and kill his son right in front of him
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moongreenlight · 11 months
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ok ok so about this post:
https://www.tumblr.com/moongreenlight/729759450340130816/headcanons-for-captain-john-price-and-his-very
i was reading it while listening to mozart’s requiem: confutatis maledictus
https://youtu.be/hN7DZhGNCxY?si=knTn38X98KovFvzL
and i was thinking what if the age gap is the same BUT reader was also military?
like this sweet little thing who dresses in pretty, dark red cherry print skirts used to have the same dark red splotches of blood on their uniform in the field. reader who’s a bit deranged, who plays the strings on her violin until the deep indents on her fingertips threaten to cut and bleed. a bit strange reader who immediately snaps her head to the slightest out of place sound on her private garden, face dropping from her stepford smile into a focused scowl. loose screwed reader who demands the cook to cook the same dish 4 times on a random thursday because it didn’t taste like the same as when he prepared it 4 months ago. bit rabid reader who keeps her staff dogs on a tight leash, including her husband, demanding things to be done on her standards. pretty show cat reader who hisses and scratches when john doesn’t greet her with the same amount of joy at the door when he has a bad day at work.
this cat, no matter how pampered and spoiled, never fully became domesticated to be a house cat, still feral under her shiny new coat. her new appearance however, is truly just a guise over her rabid tendencies. god forbid john ever pushes readers buttons because his things will get destroyed, his ego deflated, his paperweights cracked, his uniforms ripped at the seams, sturdy until needed, his pens lacking any more ink, fountain pen nibs bent ever so slightly, furniture moved every so slightly, hair and facial appointments cut in half and only being once a week.
i just LIVE for deranged!reader. i love love love it when reader is the crazy one too who feeds and takes ideals from her husband 😼😼😼
Katz I am almost certain you read my rough draft for these Headcanons because I swear to you I almost wrote reader like this. Your mind. You also know I’m a sucker for an animal comparison you literally forced me to write this. :’(
I am a crazy bitch SYMPATHIZER. She is me I am her. It takes a lot of me not to write every reader as a little off their fucking rocker but I’m glad you’re endorsing this.
Mdni. Nsfw below cut.
He probably takes a liking to you shortly after you start training. Catches you tearing into one of your bunk mates viciously for leaving one (1) sock on the ground next to their hamper. Doesn’t bother to break it up, just immediately goes back to his office and figures out who your training officer was and how quickly he could get you switched into his group.
He pulls rank on Soap to get him to agree to let you switch over. He doesn’t look happy about it, but he huffs and agrees to take a significantly less advanced rookie in exchange for you. Completely unfair trade, but Price is over the moon about it.
He doesn’t come off too strong at first because you’re young. Just turned twenty and joined the military to get loans for uni. He knows he’s much too old for you.
But still, he lets his hands linger on your waist when he’s correcting your posture, kicks your feet apart and plants his leg between yours when he’s teaching you how to properly handle a shotgun. Hears his other rookies complaining about you being favored by him because you’re the only one he’ll compliment during sessions.
Doesn’t even bother saying anything about the rumors spreading because you beat him to the punch- sometimes literally. Like he’s fairly certain you shot the worst offender in the foot on purpose during a mission to shut them up.
A few months go by with no real progress and no real payout until one day after training he wanders back to his office and finds you already sitting there waiting for him. You say something about how you’re hoping to advance pretty quickly after training, you wonder if he sees any potential in you. Lean over his desk and bat your lashes and ask what he thinks about giving you some private lessons, only if he has time of course. He nearly passes out.
And then a year later you’re married. He doesn’t have time to dick around, nor does he want to, and he now knows you well enough to know that you’ll throw a proper tantrum if things aren’t done exactly to your liking, so sure, it was a quick turnaround, but you really did love each other.
I think he asks a few times if you’ll leave the service, and you shut him down immediately. Scowling and pulling a face at the suggestion. Saying no just to say no. And then you go spent like $600 at the shops with his card. So he learns to keep his mouth shut and just supplement you with the life he wants you to have until you come to your own decision to be discharged.
And while you’ve grown accustomed to your new plush life, you never quite lose your fire. Truly, you’re a feral little thing turned prized show cat. You let him dote on you and provide you with all the finer things in life. Let him preen you and dress you up and play his perfect little wife. Oftentimes gives people the impression he’s got you tucked under his thumb when the reality of the situation is quite the opposite.
You let him play captain when you visit him at work or when he brings the boys over for drinks. Smile and stay relatively quiet tucked in by his side when you’re hosting dinner. Put on a nice outfit and a big smile when he introduces you to his chain of command during holiday parties and outings. You’ve gotten quite good at playing domestic.
But you like things exactly how you like them. Very particular about your life and your house and the people in it. You make it abundantly clear that it’s your way or no way at all.
Lounging out by the pool in the back while the landscapers work and noticing as they’re trying to slip out the gate that they didn’t properly trim the grass around the perimeter of the fence, so you storm out after them and hiss and yowl your complaint until they fix their mistake. Making a spectacle in your tiny bikini in front of the whole neighborhood until they finally correct the issue. Then you shake off any irritation and flash them a bright smile and offer your thanks like nothing had happened.
Hovering around the cook in the kitchen irritatingly close after you’ve asked them to prepare a dish that your mother used to make when you were a child. Peeking over their shoulder and punctuating their work with comments and corrections that are presented like suggestions, but everyone understands they’re demands. Going so far as to dump their progress in the trash when they’re not following your instruction well enough.
Sending John to work for two weeks straight with an empty bag that was supposed to hold his lunch because you’d asked him to please stop kicking off his mucked up work boots directly in front of the front door when he got home and he didn’t. Not even bothering to make up an excuse as to why you wouldn’t be coming to base when he called to ask if you’d bring him food. Simply saying no and ending the call no matter how many times he apologized.
Spilling his mug of tea over paperwork if you felt like he wasn’t paying you enough attention. Even if you were sat on his lap and obstructing his view of his desk.
Growing agitated with his working late so you go up to base when you know he’s out training and locking all of the drawers and cabinets in his office. Wearing the key on a dainty chain around your neck and telling him he can only have it back once you feel like he’s gotten his priorities straight. Calling in the aid of a handyman to bolt the mail slot on his door shut so he had no excuse to be doing any excess work.
Pulling a duchess from Wolf of Wall Street and wearing tiny little dresses with no underwear. Intentionally bending at the waist in front of him and leaning over his desk with your elbows pushed together in front of you when he’s done something to piss you off. Batting his hand away when he tries to grope you.
Or what felt like the worst punishment of all to him- making a point of being in the shower when he came home. Not giving him the pleasure of giving you the lush bubble baths he loved so much. Sometimes just sitting in the bathroom with the water running until you heard the front door swing shut and turning it off. Coming out wrapped in a towel that barely covered you. water beading on your shoulders. Sauntering away from him with your tail flicking back and forth when he tried to voice his protest.
He’s infinitely patient with you. Mostly because he is absolutely infatuated, but also because he knew what he was getting into when he married you. He’ll correct you when you go too far for his liking. Maybe pull you over his knee and make you apologize for how you acted until he feels like you mean it. Giving you a mean swat to the ass every time you’re snarky or flat out refuse. Sometimes gets fed up with your smart mouth and shoves his cock down your throat for a few hours to remind you that speaking is a privilege and not a right. Or he’ll parade you around the house fully nude. Maybe forcing you to crawl around on all fours like the feral cat you are in front of all the staff (or the task force boys) just to remind you of your place. Has you curl up on the sofa next to him, even though the whole time you’re pouting like you didn’t do anything wrong. Looks at you over his newspaper with a mock-sympathetic smile but says nothing until you decide to get over your anger and settle in his lap. Purring while he smooths a hand over your hair.
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Hello travelers, guests, and visitors, I am writing this and putting this before you as an official Apology.
First of all, so we can clear the air and provide the clearest explanation of what is happening, my name is either Camila or Neptune--I go by both--and I am the main "Host"/Maintainer of this Temple--The Temple of Deified Heroes. I created this space not too long ago--a few months, maybe--to provide a space for the "lesser known" aspects of Hellenic Paganism, that you can Worship, Devote, and Work with the Greek Heroes. I was and still am new to Paganism in the public space--I have been practicing privately through my knowledge of religion and Ancient Practices for over a year at this point--but I only started looking at what is going on in the public recently (also a few months ago).
Moving on to the problem I am apologizing for. My intentions of creating this space were entirely pure--if very uneducated. I knew the role I was stepping into would be a big one--I would unconsciously become an "authority figure," simply by being the one to create this space, much less how I put myself out there--but I was ready to do my research and step into it. I wanted to use this space to both learn and teach what I love--both in my practices and in the Mythology--but, unfortunately, I could not keep my promises. I have tried many times to keep up with this space and do my duties in learning and spreading knowledge such as deep dives and providing information many probably weren't even thinking about asking, but each time I have truly and utterly failed. I will stop lying to myself now, because it's really only harming people: I cannot keep up with the promises I signed up for making this space.
Thank you to @hyakinthou-naos and @khaire-traveler along with another poster that I unfortunately did not grab before writing this for educating me on this subject--of how big of a space I am trying and failing to fill. I do not know if they were directed at me or as a collective, but the message was heard anyway. Yes, I am embarrassed and truly and utterly sorry for doing this, but I know how to admit defeat and move on. Doing anything other than making this post would be wrong of me. Their posts, to everyone out there that may want to or need to gain the same information I did, will be linked at the end of this one as resources so we may all know more going forward.
What is the future of this space now? Well, I have spent many hours thinking about this along with our Discord Server, but I have decided this Temple will stay up because, despite my failings, it did do some good to the people it was meant to provide for and maybe putting up this apology will allow people to realize what truly goes on behind the scenes of these Temples. As for myself, I will be converting to a Digital Shrine so that people may continue to come by and offer things but it will be more of my space and very much less formal. I do still want to "showcase" my Deities (for the lack of a better word), but I have realized that this is not the space for it.
Thank you, again, everyone else, for allowing me to realize the severity of my situation. I realize the role that I was trying to assume and I am now finally taking responsibility of my wrong-doings for it. I hope you all can forgive me in some capacity and I hope this post will bring education toward other people who may need it. May all our roads be amusing, pretty, or at least rewarding in the long run, and may we all move forward knowing what is going on and accepting it as we need to.
-Camila/Neptune, Devotee of Lord Perseus
Resources, As Promised:
Digital Temples are really lovely, and I adore the fact that all these temples are suddenly popping up - by @khaire-traveler
Temples, Clergy, and Hellenic Faith - by @hyakinthou-naos
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areyougonnabe · 7 months
Note
for the polar history recap posts, i’m dying to know more about lillie…deeply tragic and i’ve also heard something about the nickname ‘ooze’ and i desperately need to know more about that
LILLIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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denis (also spelled dennis) gascoigne lillie was born in 1884, making him 26 when the terra nova set off for antarctica. he was trained in natural sciences at cambridge (although he didn't do too well on his exams) and was appointed as the ship's biologist—meaning he did not form part of the shore party in the hut in at cape evans, but remained on board the ship during the winter, studying antarctic marine biology including whales, plankton, and deep-sea creatures like sponges (like the one pictured above). his nickname "ooze" comes from his job as biologist—ooze refers to a specific kind of biological marine sediment that got pulled up in seabed dredges which lillie would then examine.
in silas's diary on the voyage south, he describes lillie:
Lilley—"Hercules'" or "Sequins" is rather a dreamer and asserts he can remember his former existences in this world. Much fun can be got from him if handled properly.
lillie was noted by other members of the expedition to be a bit of a crackpot, asserting that he was a persian and a roman in his past lives. and more than that, possibly:
Lillie had decided that he was not the marrying type, claiming that he had evolved beyond it. In later years Scott’s young Norwegian skiing expert Tryggve Gran recounted that as they crossed the Equator on the Terra Nova Lillie had revealed that he was a woman trapped in a man’s body. ‘When I see a naked man I blush,’ he allegedly said as the others sprawled shirtless on the deck in tropical sunshine, ‘I am split and I can’t help it. Luckily I understand myself and have the control to avoid doing anything wrong.’ Gran was a notoriously unreliable source, and it is hard to imagine anyone having the courage to say that under those circumstances; but perhaps Lillie did.
(from sara wheeler's cherry)
usually i would not recommend anyone trust anything that comes out of gran's mouth, but honestly i do buy this, because, well... vibes.
anyway, on the terra nova, lillie was notable for his talent at caricature, and several of his rather hilariously cruel drawings appeared (copied by wilson) in the south polar times, including this one of birdie:
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while the shore party was in antarctica, lillie spent two winters in new zealand studying whales, fossils, and anthropology:
Lillie has been fossilizing & is off next month for 5 months whaling with the Norwegians. He is looking very well & very happy and is ‘a dear little chap’ to use Scott’s expression.
—pennell's diary, may 18 1911
after returning to england, taking the long way round on board the terra nova to continue his marine research, lillie took up residence at cambridge again, alongside deb, silas, priestley, and griff, to work up the scientific results from the expedition.
lillie also spent a lot of time with atch and pennell in 1913, frequently accompanying them to dine and see theater in london. he also drew (probably on board the ship) the caricature of them as the "antarctic lovebirds":
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during the war, he was a conscientious objector—a "conchie," refusing to go to the front. it was an incredibly difficult position to maintain in the face of widespread societal opposition. he found solace in a continued and deepening relationship with cherry (who was also not at the front, though in his case for health reasons) as sara wheeler describes in her biography of cherry:
Currently working as a bacteriologist for the military, Lillie had been one of the few visitors at Lamer during the bad months in the middle of 1916. They became unusually intimate (‘I should love to see your chubby cheeks again’), and after one weekend Lillie scrawled with typical irreverence in his note of thanks that, ‘It was only my body which left you, for my ultimate Reality still walks behind your Bath chair and meditates about the many paths of your lovely garden. With love.’
and god i just need to copy these entire sections from the wheeler in here because they make me want to sob:
In September 1916 he had been transferred to the pathology lab of a military hospital in Bournemouth, which he loathed (‘no nice cliffs or sea birds, only sand banks and orange peel’), and was appalled to learn the next year that Cherry was poised to become engaged to Christine Davis (‘being unconventional and as near to nature as I can get, it seems all wrong to me that you should have to tie yourself up for the sake of Society’), but he strove, generally, to be optimistic, whereas Cherry was permanently resigned to his destiny. In August 1917 Lillie returned to Lamer for a week. Writing in advance with details of his train to Hatfield, he concluded that, ‘if a motor does not turn up the wings of joy will waft me those four-and-a-half miles bag included. So don’t worry.’ They had a wonderful time together. ‘I do hope,’ Lillie wrote when he was back in horrible Bournemouth, ‘your throat and the rest of you continues to get well and worthy of the sunny spirit which I see under the label ACG.'
though things seemed to be going as well as they could for lillie, shortly before the end of the war in early 1918, he suffered a nervous breakdown and landed in the notorious bethlem mental institution, known as bedlam. he was there for three years, and cherry was barred from visiting him.
he emerged for a short period of time in 1921, seemingly recovered, and took up lecturing in biology again at cambridge, but by the end of that year had relapsed and was institutionalized again.
frank debenham, writing to expedition agent j.j. kinsey in 1927 to solicit funding for SPRI, gave him an update:
Poor old Lillie is in less happy circumstances, the last I heard of him was that he was never likely to get out of Bedlam, a rather ghastly end up for poor old "Ooze's" brilliant promise.
lillie spent the rest of his life in institutions, and lived until the age of 78, dying in 1963. that was four years after the death of his friend cherry—who, despite constant attempts, was never allowed to visit him.
per UK law, lillie's medical records will be sealed until 2063, 100 years after his death, but a post on bethlem's official blog about lillie briefly notes that he was "depressed, delusional and suicidal."
the post also notes, importantly, that his breakdown had nothing whatsoever to do with his antarctic experiences:
The content of his medical notes suggests that the state of mind that brought him to hospital was entirely unrelated to his experiences of 1910-1913. Indeed, they report that “on the whole he felt better during this time”. 
OK, let's end on a nice note. here's a picture of him having a nice time at silas's wedding (i think) with his best friends. RIP lillie, i hope your next life is going well somewhere out there right now 🥲💓
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(also another good writeup on lillie with some lovely art can be found on @worstjourney's patreon here!)
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liesmyth · 5 months
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anon! I see you! same for the other anon I got 3 weeks ago and left on read — I was trying to decide how to phrase this.
I'm not publishing these in full because I'd rather talk about cool fandom theories I like instead of singling out specific takes I don't agree with.
The one thing I really feel like saying publicly re: TLT fandom discourse is that I think we could all benefit from, like, taking a step back from invoking Tamsyn when it comes to discussing theories or interpretations. I think the tone of the discourse and the fandom as a whole would be a lot healthier if we just agreed that we're getting a lil' bit silly with it, which is 100% what Tamsyn wanted when she started writing, anyway.
There are many fandom posts that EYE would find very compelling if they were presented as "This is a cool idea I had and the lenses through which I choose to engage with this story and these characters..." but often take the tone of "This is CLEARLY what the author means to do, listen up..." — with the implications that people who see things differently are getting a bad grade in lockedtomb reading, and then it stops being fun and it starts getting pretty hostile pretty quick.
I think a lot about Tamsyn's quote "I am writing for my younger self and it would be disgusting of me to try to teach her anything." That's the spirit in which I think it's most fun to engage with her writing. She's an excellent author and her books have a lot going on and many angles you can look at... but they aren't flawless, and she can't have accounted for all the theories the fandom is coming up with. I think we should stop trying to look at these books as though they are That Serious, and give ourselves more credit that maybe we're coming up with stuff the creator never considered, and that doesn't mean your stuff is less valid, but it does mean you shouldn't flex on other fans because you see it and they don't. From everything we know about Tamsyn, she'd probably be the first to say "It's not that deep, unless you want it to be."
For comparison, I've been in ASOIAF fandom for 15 years and we haven't had new material for almost as long and silly theories and renewed interpretations are flourishing every month, and nobody gives a fig about what GRRM was really trying to say because maybe the author's intention isn't the ultimate value of a work, and the author is dead anyway.
IDK. I think we should all get a little sillier with it. I've been guilty of some Not Silly in the past, though hopefully not much, but ultimately I'm here to have fun and so are most people. Especially since TLT is still ongoing, and many interpretations WILL get debunked, we're probably just better off now putting less stock on authorial backing to avoid disappointment later on, and to have more fun as a fandom during the #alectopause.
ANYWAY my askbox is always open specifically to get silly with it. I haven't hornyposted about lyctor sex in a while
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Text
The Dreaming Estate
Dream of the Endless x Gadling!Reader + Corinthian x Gadling!Reader
Summary: You inherit the Dreaming Estate from your recently deceased mother. She instructs you to perform a ritual for the house every month. One month, you fail to do so and receive a call from... The Dreaming Estate.
Word Count: 3k+
Warnings: alternate universe, fem!reader, mystery/thriller?/horror? themes, protectiveness, fluff, typos, etc.
A/N: lmao if you like this thank @sloanexx for kinda pressuring me to finish this. cross-posted on ao3 Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9 @roguelov
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12am. A full moon. The final day of the month. The phone begins to ring. Ring! Ring! Ring! No one answers. The ringing stops. It begins again. It rings until someone answers. You finally wake up. You roll over on the bed. Your lover clings onto you tighter. You grab your phone and answer the call from an unsaved contact, "hello?" His voice is deep and rich, "this is The Dreaming." It wakes you up, "w h a t ?" "This is The Dreaming." You pull your phone away. 12:05am. +1230XXXXX. "... who is this?" "The Dreaming." "The dreaming?" you sit up from the bed. "Yes." "What does that mea-" Goosebumps form when he calls your name, "Miss Gadling, you need to come home." "... who is this?" "The Dreaming." "As in the Dreaming Estate?" you sound panicked. "How are you calling me from the Dreaming? Who are you?" "I am The Dreaming." "..." "Come home."
"Baby, can you get me my coffee?" Cori points to the counter. I get his mug and the car keys, then hand him his drink.
"Thanks, sugar," he says, pulling his one earpod out as he turns from his laptop to me. He moves forward to give me a kiss and I knock the glasses off his face when I place my hand on his cheek.
I readjust his glasses as I pull away.
"Call me when you get there," Cori mutters as he turns back to his screen.
"I will," I head for the door and turn over my shoulder as I point, "make sure to take out the trash, okay?"
Cori puts the other earpod on and raises a thumb though he does not respond to me, "ah, yes, Mr. Takashi. We opened the branch in downtown New York about-"
The door closes.
I get to the parking and drive out of my apartment building, heading out of the city.
I grunt as I reach a red light, "fuck." This was going to be a long drive.
I can't fucking believe I was going to sacrifice my day off all because of that stupid prank call. I clench my jaw and turn to my bag in the passenger seat. I reach for the book in my bag, rubbing my finger on the browning pages.
It can't be because of this. And yet... I can't shake the feeling.
I drive when the light turns green.
"Relax," I mutter to myself, "the police didn't find anything," I take a left turn, "it was probably someone..." pulling a prank? But how did they get my number? How did they unlock the door? I swear I remember locking it when I left because my coat got stuck the last time.
"Fucking hell," I come to a halt when I am met with a bottle neck, "it's fucking Wednesday. Why is it so traffic?! Geez."
What if- I turn to the book in my bag again - it is because of this?
I take in a breath. Calm down. Forgetting to do the weird ritual last month has nothing to with this call.
And yet when I pull up to the Dreaming, parking just outside the gates, it's the first thing I want to do. I grip my handbag as I walk up the path to the front door. My phone was ringing Cori.
Though I knew the front door was open, I had the mansion's key in my hand. I turn the knob, finding it was, in fact, unlocked. I stuff my keys in my pocket.
Cori finally picks up, "hello?"
"I'm here at the estate," I retort as I step in. As nervous as I was to drive up here alone, I felt nothing while surveying the house. I didn't feel the creeps, didn't feel like an axe murderer was about to pop up. It just felt like home. After all, I grew up here. And although the land was large, it wasn't like I didn't have neighbors.
"Oh, that's good. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I walk into the grand foyer, looking at the large curved staircase that connected to the second floor landing. I look up at the high ceilings and the chandelier that cascaded down like shooting stars. I walk into the kitchen, "everything really just looks normal."
"Well, it better," Cori chuckles, "the police in the area better not play because all the residents there are rich fucking Karens."
I snort as I survey the marble counters and head for the fridge I knew was unplugged and empty. I open the door. Yep, still unplugged and empty. It would be funny had someone left a cake though... I think.
"I'm just gonna do the ritual and come back home."
"Okay, sugar. You still want to cook steak tonight? I can go to the supermarket to buy some stuff."
"Yeah," I place my bag on the counter, "can you buy some cake too?"
"The red velvet one from 15th?"
I look at the empty cake stand from across the room. Its glass was collecting dust, "no. Blueberry cheesecake. I'm feeling sentimental." My mom used to make the best blueberry cheesecake.
"Okay then. See you later, bunny."
"Mmm, bye. Love you."
"I love you too."
I huff as I place my phone down and pull out the book.
The voice of my mother rings in my head: We must love and protect the Dreaming because it loves and protects us. When a bunch of evil men tried to burn the house, Granny Lucy survived because the house saved her.
I clench my jaw as I flipped the pages. I huff as I get to the bookmarked page, "don't question it," I tell myself, "just- just- it's better not to be the one who breaks this weird generational chain-" I look around the room and find a chill run down my spine. I shake it off and look back at the page.
My thumb rubs the paper and my face tightens when I feel something wet on it. I smell my finger, "shit." My hand sanitizer got on the page.
"Fuck," I lean forward and try to wipe the paper. The ink smudges. "Fuuuuck."
I go through my bag but find no tissues. It's fine. It's fine. I kind of have the words memorized anyway. Let's just say this awful Latin hex-shit and be done with it. I take the book in my hand and read the words the way I always did.
For the most part, I don't need the book to know what to recite but then I reach the part where I smudged and, just my luck, I can't fucking remember what to say. I know I'm not supposed to stop- fuck- don't ask why, I'm just not- but a pit of dread bubbles in me over the idea of saying something wrong. I decide to omit the words that were smudged in the end.
I look around the kitchen when I finish.
I grab my bag and my book and check the other rooms.
I go to the living room, the washing room, the study, the library, the main bathroom, all five bedrooms, the garden backyard, the pool-- every place... but nothing. Nothing happened. The house was just the house. And, honestly, I felt nothing. Nothing felt out of the ordinary, so I go home.
Ring! Ring! Ring! Your eyes widen at the caller contact. "the dreaming guy". You instantly pick up, "hello?" "The incantation didn't work. I am still here." Your stomach drops, "what?" "Come home." You suck in a breath. He had to call during your lunch break. "I will wait for you in human form." Your heart drops. "What?" "I will wait for you to return to me in my human form." "..." "Unless the thought disturbs you." "..." "..." "..." "..." "... are you... Dream?" "I am." I shudder, "the Dreaming..." "I am also." Fuck.
I drive to the Dreaming Estate after work. I try calling Cori to tell him about it, but he didn't pick up. I don't blame him though. He was swamped at work. I mean I was too, which was why this was insane of me to do right now. I left him messages though. Hopefully, he'll call.
I pull up outside the gates again, but this time, I sit in the car, clenching the wheel. My body is unwilling to get out. Why? Because of him.
A dark figure walks over to me. He is tall, pale, and dark haired. My heart races as he nears. I check to see if my door is locked. It is.
As he gets closer and I can finally make out his face, I rack my brain, trying to think if I've seen him before. The longer I look, more I am convinced this is the first time I've seen him.
He stands in front of the gate; he opens it for me.
"Miss Gadling!" he calls, "would you like to drive inside?!""
That was definitely the caller.
I don't respond to him. I do nothing but stare at him.
"Will you stay in the car the whole time?!"
I stare at him for a moment. He stares right back at me. I undo my seatbelt and grab my bag. I peak my head out of the window. I don't know why, but I find myself asking, "what were the missing words in the ritual?!"
The man tilts his head. He leans on the metal grill. A wind blows his coat back, "in luce et tenebris!"
I pull out my book and look at the page. I examine the blotted area, "it does look like that."
"You cannot perform the incantation outside!" the man calls, "please, come in!"
My eyes dart up to him. I suck in a breath. This was probably the worst idea ever. I look at my phone. No calls or texts from Cori. I huff and step out of the car.
The man is pleased to see this.
I slowly walk over to him.
He smiles. It is warm. As I examine his expression, it feels free of malice. And though his aura did not feel eerie, I am skeptical of him.
He reaches a hand out to me, "would you like for me to carry your things?"
I clutch my bag to my chest as well as the book still in my hand, "I got it."
"Very well," he says, making way for me to enter.
I watch him as he closes the gate, I watch him as he motions to the front door, I watch him as he walks off first and leads me in, I watch as he opens the door to my home, I watch him as he peruses through like it was his.
"I apologize that was unable to prepare anything for you," he says.
I knit my brows, "what do you mean?"
"You have not stocked food in the kitchen. I was only able to gather some strawberries from the garden."
See, any sane person would have called the cops by now, if they had a moment of stupidity not to do it before arriving here. But the thing was, he took strawberries in the garden, which means he knew where the strawberries were. The strawberries were behind a hedge in the backyard; you would have to go over the hedge to see them.
"How do you know where the strawberries are?"
The man straightens, "I know where all things are in the estate."
"Pah. Everything?" I raise a brow.
"Everything," he nods.
I scoff, adjusting the straps of my bag on my shoulder, "then do you know where Grandpa Hob was buried?"
"He was not buried. His ashes were scattered in the garden."
My breath hitches. I take a step back.
The man merely looks at me.
He's- no... He must have... how could he have-
"Where is the garden gnome placed?" I find myself blurting.
"In the attic. Behind boxes."
I give him a look. Nah... he could have looked there. "What about my diary?"
"Which one?"
"What?"
"You have one diary stuck in the gutter by the pool, and you have one hidden in the floorboards in the bedroom that used to be yours."
My skin pricks with goosebumps. My heart is racing. I take more steps back. I gasp and jolt when the floor creeks.
"Please," he raises a hand, "do not be frightened. I know you and you know me," he steps forward, "I am the Dreaming."
"Stop!" I bark, raising a finger, "don't come any closer."
He stops.
I breathe heavily and bring the book to my hands, opening it. I look at the page where the ritual is. I begin to read it.
"It will not work."
I ignore him and continue to read.
"You spoke it once before. It will work only at the end of the month now."
I ignore him still and continue reading, making sure to add the part I was unable to say last time.
"Those were not the words."
"SHUT UP!" I snap and turn to him.
He stiffens and looks down, "apologies."
I huff and lean against the wall. The man looks up at me as I do this. I bring one hand behind me and use my nail to pick at the wall, "when I asked if you were Dream and you agreed, what were you agreeing to?"
The man fidgets then rolls his shoulders back, "this. My human form is Dream."
He even knew that. My uncles used to tell me that the house was sometimes a man called Dream. I take in his features, the curve of his nose, the gleam of his eyes. To be honest, I didn't know what Dream should look like, save for the fact he was apparently very strong. This man looked like a he could barely lift things with how scrawny he was.
"What does the ritual do?" I clutch the book in one arm.
"It binds my spirit to the house."
I give him a look, "so you're a spirit?"
"I am," he nods.
"So you're a ghost?"
"I am not. I am the Dreaming."
"But you said you were a spirit."
"I am the spirit of the Dreaming."
I straighten up and release a breath. I go through my bag and pull out a pen, "so if I do this," I chuck the pen at him, "it'll go through you-"
It his him on the cheek and he grunts. He rubs his cheek and gives me a look, "that was most disrespectful."
"... ... ... sorry."
Dream sighs, "all is well."
I chew on my lip and begin to pace around. My eyes never leave him once. His don't either. He watches me walk around him. He places his hands behind his back. I raise a brow, "why did you call me here then if I can't... bind you back?"
"You are my master," he tilts his head back, "my function is to serve you. I will fade if I have no function."
I stop in my tracks and furrow my brows, "what does that mean?"
"It means if my spirit fades and someone breaks in, nothing will stand in their way."
"So you saying you're the protector of the estate?"
"Indeed."
"I thought you were the estate?"
"Is it not instinctive to protect oneself?"
We stare at each other for a moment.
I am meant to question him some more, but then Dream turns around and looks outside of the window. He mutters lowly, "someone is trying to open the gate."
"What?" I run to the other window.
"He is calling your name."
I look outside and see the man, "it's Cori!"
Dream turns to me, "who?"
I turn to him, "did you lock the gate?"
"I am barring him out."
"What?!" I shake my head and make a face, "let him in!"
Dream furrows his brows at this. I give him a look. He relaxes his expression and sighs. I turn to the window when I hear the telltale creak of the gate. I then run out the door and meet Cori halfway.
The moment I'm close enough, I hug and kiss him.
Cori embraces and kisses me back. When he pulls away, he looks at me with worry, "I saw your texts. What happened? Did you call the police? Is someone-" he stops himself when he looks up.
I turn around and look where he was. There was Dream, staring back at us.
"Who the fuck is that?" Cori mutters as he grabs and pulls me behind him.
And I don't know why, I really don't know, but I retort, "he's the butler."
Cori turns to me, "what?"
I look at him, "turns out... we have a family butler and he-" I turn to Dream back to Cori, "-he's the one who called."
Cori shifts in his spot, "you mean he's the guy posing to be the fucking house?"
I shake my head, "no. It was a misunderstanding. I-"
"Greetings, sir."
The both of us turn to the dark haired man who was now in front of us. Cori raises a brow at him while looking him once over. He bows, eyes not leaving Cori as he does so, "I am Dream," he straightens up, "keeper of the estate, in servitude of Miss Gadling."
Cori chuckles, "Dream, huh? Funny you should say that," he extends a hand, "Corinthian Dream," he tilts a head towards me, "Miss Gadling's beau."
Dream stares at Cori's hand for a moment. He looks up at him when takes it, shaking it once before pulling away.
"Shall I prepare bedrooms for the two of you?" Dream asks, turning to me with a softer expression.
"Nah," Cori answers, "I just need you to explain this mess of a prank call and we'll be on our way," he places his hands in his pockets.
A dread builds in my stomach as I watch the two stare at each other. Dream's expression darkens. Cori's face hardens as he adjusts his shades.
Knowing him, I was getting nervous. "Cori," I tug at his arm.
He ignores me as Dream gives a pinched smile, "of course," he motions to the house, "shall we talk inside?"
Cori tilts his head and smirks, "sure thing, butler."
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conkers-thecosy · 11 months
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Hullo!
Just wanted to throw together a little link post to help folks find what they're looking for a bit easier! I've updated my tagging system (below) to navigate writing updates, recs, quotes, etc, as well as listing a few external links to my fics and other social media - if I've missed anything, let me know 💛
Links beneath the cut!
On Tumblr:
Conkers Corner - This is my general tag, for anything and everything!
Writing Update - All writing updates fall in here. If you're looking for updates on a specific project, I'll always tag with the project name, too!
Conkers Quotes - All the little quotes and snippets I've posted from my bagginshield fics!
Fic Recs - All the bagginshield fics I've stumbled across and fallen in love with!
Ask - Quite straightforward, if you're looking for an ask I've answered, you can find it here!
Conkers Cosy Games - This tag is for gaming stuff, and for when I start to stream once again! (see the Twitch link below for details!)
External Links:
AO3 - A small collection of Bagginshield fics written by yours truly! All currently in a canon setting, but always with the "everybody lives, nobody dies" tag, because I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I have a few AU ideas that I want to tinker with, but that won't be for a while yet!
Pillowfort - A place for me to share snippets of my writing, updates, headcanons, and other fun stuff! Used to do that here, until tumblr decided to roll in AI. So! I'm jumping ship. Do come say hello!
Twitch - Have set up a new channel to play some cosy games, but this won't be happening for a couple of months while I get my set-up re-organised. At the moment there's nothing here, but probably early next year sometime! (Definitely in time for "Tales of the Shire"!)
BlueSky - This is new! Life stuff, garden updates, cooking, some very fake-deep rambling, and a little smattering of politics... but only a very little!
TikTok - More life stuff! Lots of my dog, Wilfred, and some cooking and gardening things!
Instagram - This is actually my personal account, so there's not a lot of fandom content, but I am considering a side account... let me know if you'd be interested in that?
Ko-Fi - For anyone who might want to buy me a coffee to help fuel my writing!
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ffc1cb · 7 months
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new art blog
the short version:
1. i made a new art blog: @cbge;
2. @ffc1cb will stay up as an archive.
the long version:
hi everyone. this announcement is somewhat late, since the blog in question has been up for a few months now, and i’ve already started posting art on it. the reason it took me so long to “reveal” it is because i’ve been trying to figure out whether a new blog is something i actually want, or if it's just me throwing darts at a board, trying to make myself feel better somehow.
i don’t know when precisely it all started, but ever since sometime last year i’ve been going through a hard time, both emotionally and creatively. i’m not sure whether being depressed is what made art harder, or art becoming harder is what made me depressed (a bit of both, i think), but lately, drawing has been a struggle. 
i’ve found myself having less and less energy for art, and this lack of energy resulted in poorer quality of drawings, which resulted in me feeling like i’m getting worse at it, despite my efforts. i knew i could make good art, art that i’m proud of - i’ve done so countless times before, - but somehow it felt like i just couldn’t anymore, like my hands forgot how to. nothing looked right. 
i’ve been trying to experiment. i’ve learned some new things, tried this and that - it was enlightening, to say the least, and even though i kind of liked how it looked, it made me feel a sense of displacement. i was at odds with myself, my art, and how i felt about it, when previously i was always in sync. i was making art, yes, and it looked nice, but it felt like it wasn’t mine.
i suppose part of it was also the growing lack of engagement, and i don’t mean likes and reblogs - i never particularly cared about those. they are all just numbers to me; dry and impersonal. what i’m talking about is actual, human interactions: personal thoughts in tags, asks, replies, etc. a conversation. 
i don’t mean to sound “old” or anything, but i remember when talking to artists online was more commonplace. my wife tells me it’s because the internet culture has changed over the years, that people have become more reclusive, less willing to be open with their thoughts, and she's probably right, but in my slump i find it hard to believe. somehow it feels like it’s my fault for being less “engaging”, for seeming unapproachable or perhaps intimidating. maybe it’s “just a skill issue”, maybe it’s because i have stopped churning out fanart for popular fandoms, maybe it’s because i refuse to torture myself emotionally by having an art account on twitter (i can’t fucking stand the place anymore; i still post nsfw art there, but only because it’s literally one of the only places on the internet that allows you to do so. i miss when you could post female presenting tits on tumblr).
i have always, ever since i started posting art on the internet back in 2012, done it for human connection. i wanted to talk to people, and have people talk to me. i wanted to inspire people with my art, and i wanted to bring them comfort. i wanted to elicit an emotional response, and have people tell me about it. it was one of the main reasons i drew in the first place; having lost that, i’ve been struggling to stay passionate about making art.
i miss being a small artist on the internet during the 2010s. i remember when i could make a post going, “hey everyone, how are you all doing today?” and it would not seem weird to people in the slightest. it is just me? does anyone else feel that way? am i too deep in my own head? the internet feels so unwelcoming nowadays, especially to artists. we are all just content machines; people scroll by our stuff, or maybe look at it for half a second and leave a like before scrolling away. i know it’s unfair to demand people’s attention, especially now when our lives are already so overwhelmed by everything - no one has the energy to pay closer attention; i myself am not immune to mindless scrolling. but it feels bad. i wish we were all sincere and enthusiastic again.
anyway (sorry for rambling. i hope i haven’t bored you to death), you might want to say, okay, but how is making a new art blog on a “dying” social platform going to help with any of that? the truth is, i don’t know. i just felt like i needed a change. 
i’ve been running this blog since 2016 (that’s almost 8 full years!). i feel incredibly attached to it, but at the same time, i feel it weighing me down. 
there are people who followed me years ago for one specific thing, still expecting me to post about said thing (i still find it mindboggling that some people follow artists for a specific fandom only, but that is a whole other matter for a whole other post that i will never write). a third, if not half, of my following are probably dead blogs. and with my current struggle with trying to regain the joy i once felt for making art, looking back at all the art i’ve done over the years makes me feel tired. i still love it all; it’s all very dear to me. i’m proud of it; looking at it makes me mourn my younger and more passionate self.
so i’ve decided to make a new blog, where i will let myself post whatever i want, in whatever stage of donness i feel like. maybe it will help me, somehow. maybe it won’t. but if you care about my art, if you want to keep following me on my artistic journey, i welcome you to join me there. similarly, feel free not to - no hard feelings.
thank you everyone for your support over the years; it matters a lot to me. i’m not planning to delete or private this blog; it will stay up, and i will still be reachable on here. i will still answer asks, if there will be any. i’m just not planning to post any art here anymore. this is it for my dear old friend ffc1cb.
i can be found in other places:
@cbge, as mentioned earlier,
@k0nstanta, an art blog dedicated solely to my wife and i’s ocs,
@inquisimail, a dragon age ask blog that has become my dragon age sideblog in general,
and multiple other blogs, none of which are art related, but feel free to ask, if you’re curious.
thank you very much for reading all of this. i hope you have a wonderful day.
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cuverale · 1 year
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as it was - t.c (part 3)
requested. sorry for grammar mistakes!
face claim: lily-rose depp
part 1 | part 2
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yourusername
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liked by tchalamet, jacobelordi, aron.piper and 13,482,173 others
yourusername me and jimmyfallon might have a surprise for you tonight 👀
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tchalamet aren’t you forgetting someone?
yourusername oh, am I? 🤭
ynmybaby I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
jimmyfallon I think everyone is gonna thank me after this
yourusername 🫣
ynsbabygirl my girl looks so hot 🥵
timmytimmy Timothèe you’re so lucky my boy
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“You’re still reading the comments?” Timothèe asked. His arms wrapped around you from behind, his head resting on your shoulder.
“Yeah. It’s good to see them after all this chaos.”
He sighed. “Y/n-”
“Hey. I know what you’re gonna say. Don’t.”
“But-”
“Look,” you turned around to see his beautiful face. “I never blamed you for this. So stop feeling bad. It’s over now, I barely get any negative comments.”
He looked at you for a long time before kissing you. “Alright, mon coeur.”
“We should get going tho. We’re gonna be late.”
He smiled. “Yeah, you’re right.”
fallontonight
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fallontonight Timothèe Chalamet is here with us again! We asked him all the questions you guys might want to know 👀 Tonight on NBC!
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ynmyqueen I love how we thought Y/n will go to the show because of her post but Timmy attended instead
timmytimmy he looks so happy 🥹
yourusername love that smile
tchalamet ♥️
ynmybaby I hope you asked about all this happed for past few months Jimmy
timotheefan452 🥺🥺🥺
timmytim I’m so excited!
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“So Timothèe, you don’t have to answer this if you feel uncomfortable but your fans are wondering about your relationship with Y/n L/n. Anything you want to share?”
He took a deep breath. “Yeah. You all probably know most parts we- mostly she had to deal with a lot of things. It was hard for both of us. I felt so devastated because she didn’t deserve to hear those horrible things they’ve said about her.”
“What did you guys do after the break up?”
“Well, I worked harder in order to keep myself busy. I don’t even know how could I stand being without her. I take a break from social media but I saw her posts. About herself, about her new film, about her life. I was so proud of her because she was so strong but I felt so bad because I couldn’t be there with her. The moment I watched her interview with vogue I knew I had to talk to her. I’m so glad she accepted it and here we are.”
“I’m so happy for you guys. I hope you two will never have to go through something like this again.”
“Me too. Thanks,” he smiled.
tchalametupdates
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tchalametupdates Timothèe Chalamet talks about how him and his girlfriend Y/n L/n met.
“I was fan of her works. She was literally my celebrity crush but I had zero hope for meeting her. […] I was working hard and I needed some time for myself. I went to Coachella with my friends and that’s where we first met. I think I used all of my luck in there.”
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ynandtimmy I love the way he smiles and giggles everytime he talks about Y/n.
timotea0 “Can you describe her with three words?”
“Oh no three words won’t be enough.”
“Come on try it!”
“Ok.. Strong, Caring.. and… this is gonna be so cheesy but Home.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
chalafan That was my favorite part 🤧
ynmybaby plss he is so in love with her I’m jealous
ynsbabygirl God I feel so single
timmytimmy I want what they have 😩
kissmeyn I need someone to love me the way Timothèe loves Y/n
timotheefan194 God, it’s me again…
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yourusername’s story
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allsadnshit · 1 year
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Those 35mm photos are beautiful! If you don’t mind, and sorry if you’ve answered this before, but would you mind sharing how you and your husband met? You two have a beautiful relationship
oh jeez everyone knows this is my favorite question lol
my husband and I met through being tumblr mutuals when we were probably around 17! we lived in the same state but still 6 hours apart so we never thought of each other as a tangible person to know and meet, it was truly just a silly little internet friendship liking each other's posts and occasionally messaging about little things like books we were reading or music we listened to but never anything lengthy or personal.
that went on for like 7-8 years, sometimes not talking for a long period of time because we really were just internet friends! then when I was 24, before my endometriosis diagnostic surgery, I was at my absolute sickest I'd ever been. pretty much totally house-ridden and also in a really transitional moment because I had just finally had a long term very not fulfilling relationship end + was processing a lot alone quarantined in my house because covid lockdowns just started. I had a conversation with a really close friend where I said I felt like I had always just been dating passively in relation to who was close by and never really on "dream person" levels and she asked who I'd hit up if I could date anyone and Myles was who came to mind to me! So the next time he dm'd me on ig about something silly like complimenting my new shoes I posted I flirted for the first time and he responded enthusiastically and we realized we had always quietly had little crushes on each other!
we talked every day for like a month while I moved to a new short term lease and went through lots of urgent care visits figuring out my next moves medically, and he decided we couldn't wait any longer to meet so he bought a car and drove 5 hours to pittsburgh in the night after work one weekend and we met outside my new apartment that had no furniture yet at 1 am and spent the whole night talking. we knew we were very very in love right away, and even though that first weekend ended with him having to take me to the ER from extreme pain that turned out to be from constipation because of how truly nervous I was LOL he came back a week or two later and stayed full week! at the end of that week we decided he'd move in with me for the rest of my 6 month lease while I got surgery then moved to philly to finish his lease together.
myles and I both hadn't ever really been in a relationship so serious or passionate so it was really really scary at times when we fought or felt like we would mess things up with each other but we both dug really deep to learn how to talk to each other in a way we had never communicated with anyone else and touched some really important parts of ourselves to really get to know one another's fears and desires and eloped a little over a year after meeting!
he's totally changed my understanding how much you can trust, depend on, or love someone. it's opened me up to healing in every other part of my life (going to therapy, having big talks my family, starting new careers, etc) <3
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