#i promise i’m a much better writer than this lol

[milligramspoison]

No one asked for this lol but I was talking about it the other day- the killjoys essay I did for my junior year 🫶

Some little notes:

This is set in a world where the Fab Four faked their deaths after the events in Sing, hence why they’re here!

The characters Ghost Bullet, Cyanide Candy, Black Heart, Glitter Baby, Acid Cat, and Lighting Storm are ocs created by my best friend tumblr user @frankierosbackbends and myself!

Speaking of Cyanide, Ghost, Acid, and Storm, they’re based off of sims Niamh (@frankierosbackbends) and I created about 5-6 years ago, who you can meet here!

Annoyingly so, I live in Florida. By now, we all know Florida fucking sucks. This was written around the time the don’t say gay bill was passed. Being scared at the time, I hid the fact that Ghost and Cyanide are gay, which made me feel awful I had to hide that part of them. And I still feel awful about it. I was scared of any repercussion I could’ve faced, so while it’s know that they’re together, I hid the fact they were gay men. It still really annoys me almost 2 years later that I did this.

If it’s not great, it was for school lol. I would’ve done a lot more if I didn’t have school barriers around me

[wooahaes]

getting to know you

pairing: non-idol!husband!joshua x fem(afab)!reader

word count: ~1.0k

warnings: mentions of giving birth/pregnancy/newborn baby (afab reader who is referred to as a mother). some postpartum depression notes. mentions of struggles with fertility. no proofreading, intentional lowercase. writer is going through some thoughts tonight lol

daisy’s notes: rare present tense daisy bc i think it works better here. sorry for a more emotional thing, i’m dealing with a lot of thoughts haha im almost 23 i shouldnt even be thinking abt having kids rn and yet.

this... wasn’t the way things went in fiction.

with joshua out, you’ve had a lot of time to reflect. all you really could do from your hospital bed, curled up on your side, was just your newborn daughter as she slept peacefully in her crib. she has his nose, you think. maybe his eyes, too. truthfully, you hope she does. you’d always told joshua you hoped your baby would have his pretty eyes. she’s still so tiny, so wrinkly, but she’s alive and well and now she’s back with you again. a tiny part of you thinks that most mothers would be holding their newborn now, cradling that tiny life that you supported for so many months and falling more and more in love by the second.

yet... it hadn’t really clicked yet. you love her because she’s your daughter, the way that all mothers should, but...

it’s hard to say you love her past that, cruel as it may seem. the online forums told you that it was normal to not feel attached yet. you’d just gone through hours of labor with your husband’s hand clutching your own, you were exhausted. if anything, you should be using this time to rest until joshua comes back. although you’d already eaten by now (the soup the hospital had given you was actually delicious, but you still aren’t sure whether that’s because of the fact you were ravenous or if it was legitimately good), joshua had promised you a dessert of your choosing. a celebratory thing for giving birth.

(now that you're alone, you don’t think you really wanted him to leave yet. but he told you to rest before he left, kissing you one last time before keeping to his promise that he’d made months ago.)

a light knock at the door catches your attention, and in walks your husband with a bag and a gentle smile on his face. “i’m back,” he says, shutting the door behind himself. he comes over to your bed, gently kissing you once more before setting your dessert aside. “how are you feeling?”

empty. you look at your infant daughter again. i shouldn’t be. “tired.”

“it’s okay,” he says, making his way over to the crib. “i’ll watch her. you should eat and sleep, honey.”

he’s so gentle with picking her up, securing her in his arms and looking at her like she’s the most beautiful thing in the world (and she is, truly: you think she is, but you just wish you could feel more for her than what you do). he settles into a chair, and all you can do is watch your husband as he oh-so-lovingly gazes at the product of so, so much time. getting pregnant took so long, and you still remember crying with joshua when the test was finally pregnant (and again after your doctor confirmed it with a blood test, just to assuage your own fears that it was a false positive). in fiction it happens on accident, or after a few attempts. no one told you that you’d be trying for so damn long before your body did what you wanted it to do.

“it’s okay, you know.”

you perk up a little when joshua speaks, his gaze having yet to leave your baby. “shua?”

“you don’t have to be bonded to her immediately,” he says. he remembers the conversation the two of you had about a week ago about this same exact topic. what if i don’t love her yet? “she’s a new person. you didn’t love me before you knew me, right?”

he has a point. as did every single website you turned to in an attempt to calm yourself down during that treacherous countdown to giving birth. this is normal, they would say. not all parents bonded with their baby right away. and yet you can’t help but feel guilty that you’re another one of them, stuck watching your husband and your baby have the bond you wish you could already have. 

“we’re still getting to know her,” he says gently. “it’s okay.”

you let out a sigh, curling up on your side again--careful of your own stitches. the recovery process would be hell on its own (hell, you know whatever they gave you is wearing off more and more as you become acutely aware just how sore your body is), but your focus is just on you, your husband, and your baby. “do you love her?”

“that doesn’t matter,” he says. “i do. and i know you do, too. but she’s still a stranger to me, you know?” he stands, carefully making his way over to sit down next to you. “i love you,” he says. “i think she has your lips.”

“she was just born, shua,” you weakly smile as you lean into his side.

“like you haven’t been staring at her thinking about how she has my nose,” he smiles, too. the pains of having a husband so deeply in love with you that he knows your thoughts well by now... plus your previous conversations about what you thought she’d look like probably come to mind now, too. “i think,” he says, “she’s just as beautiful as her mom.”

what a sap, you think. but he’s your sap. “just as pretty as you, too,” you tease, cheek pressing against his arm. “she really does have your eyes, you know.”

“she’s ours,” he says with this warm, loving pride in his voice. he looks to you, still smiling so gently (and enough for the both of you, you think: he knows your struggling now), “i hope she likes us, you know.”

the thought makes you snort a little. “god, i hope so, too.”

[gingersforeverbox]

The bottom

Nathan Bateman x F!Reader drabble

Warnings: Nathan-typical language and suggestive material but nothing explicit :)

WC: 423

A/N: if you couldn't tell, I have a song stuck in my head and I think if Nathan ever had to actually listen to it he'd probably want to never hear about me ever again... lol anyways have a lil drabble

“What the actual fuck are you listening to?” Nathan questions as he walks over to where you are sitting on the couch.

“Some stupid trendy song from TikTok,” you shrug indifferently as Nathan flops down on the cushions next to you, pulling an earbud out of your ear. 

“I already know what you’re listening to, I want to know why,” he demands bluntly. 

You sigh quietly before pausing your video, then turn to look at the scowling baby of a man. “Listen, we both know it’s stupid, it’s a rap using Spongebob voices, but I can’t stop listening to it. No one is more upset about it than me.”

“I will never understand the brains on you,” he sighs in return before gently passing your earbud, his warm calloused hands brushing your own. In response, you gently rest your head on his shoulder with a soft hum of contentment. As your eyes slip closed, you feel an arm snake behind your back and softly wrap around your side, along with a gentle peck to your hairline. 

“Aww, offering me kisses mister Bateman?” you tease with a minuscule smirk pulling at the corner of your lips.

“Who says I’m not kissing that brain of yours? I could be running a little experiment to see if... something happens- look I don’t know, don’t talk about it, jeez,” he mumbles stubbornly under his breath as he holds you a little tighter. If you focus hard enough you swear you can feel his thumb gently rubbing circles into your waist where his hand has found its home.

“Whatever, you like me, bad rap songs and all.”

“Unfortunately you have no taste in music, yes, but you’re also right about liking you, sweetheart. Even if you listen to AI-made songs that are decent at best.” He glances down at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes before he presses a kiss with a loud ‘mwah’ smack dab in the middle of your forehead. 

“Wanna listen to some good music with me in the den?” he offers with a smirk. “You know I love to see that pretty body move. Besides, we both know that as much as you don’t like good music like mine, you know how to groove to it right,” he purrs as he shifts the both of you so he can face you better, warm and gooey love in his eyes. 

“Hmm, you’d like to see me ‘groove’  for you, wouldn’t you,” you drawl in return with a grin. 

“Any day babydoll, any day.”

Thank y'all for reading, I really appreciate it! Please consider reblogging or commenting as that keeps me going as a writer, requests are open, and I promise I am working on more fics/ requests for y'all and I plan on *Hopefully* posting some more sometime soon :)

I hope y'all have a lovely day/night wherever you are!

[thebestofoneshots]

Star please! My pronouns are she/her and I am into guys, and am open to poly!marauders!

If you know star signs: I’m a Libra sun, Aries moon, sag rising, Libra mercury, Leo Venus, and libra mars

I’m an intp, 6’1, and I play volleyball. I love listening to music and have a record collection! I’m also a huge film buff :) I’m pretty shy but make friends very easily. People often tell me to speak up but my voice is just not super loud lol. I don’t always like to, but I’m getting better at standing up for myself. My love language varies person to person, but I love physical touch, quality time, and giving gifts.

Thank you so much and congrats on the milestone!! You deserve it all and so much more, you are such a good writer :)

If you want to participate in "TBOS' 400 Followers Celebration" too, you can look at this post for all the options of prompts you can choose from <3

I definitely ship you with Sirius and James. However, Sirius was the first one to notice you. It all started during Christmas when you received a package from your Muggle family. It contained yet another record for your collection – the Diamond Dogs deluxe edition by David Bowie. You were instantlly excited by it, and youre excitment could be percived by others.

Sirius, allthought unfamiliar with the album, instantly recognized Bowie on the cover so he approached you with a playful grin, “Hey sweets, you’re in my Transfiguration class, aren’t you?”

You nodded, “You’re Sirius Black.”

He smiled, glad that you recognized him too, and casually sat next to you, leaning his head on his hand as he looked at you. Initially, you found it a bit strange how comfortable he seemed around you, but his relaxed aura eventually put you at ease.

He shared how he had stayed at school during Christmas to help his friend with some tasks, and how he didn’t really want to go home because of his less-than-pleasant family. You told him about your Muggle family and how they believed it was best for you to stay at school to avoid the Death Eaters. You admitted missing your family and being happy to receive a letter from them.

When the conversation grew somber, he skillfully changed the topic and asked about your album. Excitedly, you shared details about your collection and music preferences. He told you about the cassettes he had received from his cousin Andromeda and promised to make you a mixtape someday. He enjoyed making them for his friends. Your bond only strengthened from that point, and Sirius developed a massive crush on you, growing every time he discovered something new about you. He thought you were absolutely magical, and that, without even thinking about the fact that you were quite literally a witch. 

One day, you were in Sirius' room listening to your records since you didn't want to disturb your roommates. James Potter entered, not noticing you both resting on the floor with your backs against the bed. Assuming he was alone, he started humming along to your favorite song. Just as you were about to speak up, Sirius covered your mouth,  a cheeky grin on his face. Soon, James started his own impromptu concert, singing at the top of his lungs. Eventually, he began dancing and spotted both of you, with Sirius' hand still covering your mouth.

"Padfoot!" He said reproachfully. 

You removed Sirius’ hand from your mouth and gave James an apologetic smile “Hey James!” you said quietly “That was great conert.” 

James turned beet red upon realizing you'd seen his performance "How long did you—"

"—The whole thing," Sirius teased.

James was so distressed at that point the only thing you could think to do to ease the tension was to smile at him and say “Wanna join us?” 

You weren’t sure you’d ever seen a shy James Potter in your life, but here he was, nodding quietly and walking to seat beside you. You were sitting in the middle, with the two boys at your side. And you three just grew closer from then, it was like the boys didn’t want to be away from you. 

While in the beginning you thought Sirius was clingy, he had nothing on James Potter. Whenever they were around you, they were close, in a very literal sense. They always had to be touching you somehow, either by brushing shoulder to shoulder, an arm draped over you, or leaning their heads on your shoulders in the Great Hall, especially Sirius, who always complained about having to wake up early for flying. Those touches slowly became something more: kisses on the cheek, holding your hand, a cheeky hand on your thigh, or backhugs. And while they did sometimes fight for your affection, neither of them seemed bothered by the other pulling you onto their lap or snuggling you closer to them.

One day, you were listening to music in the common room and there was no one else around since you had skipped a class to be there. You were leaning against James’ chest while Sirius had his head resting on your lap; he’d asked you to play with his hair. It was often that you cuddled with the two at the same time, and you loved it, but it also confused you. You somehow mustered up the courage to ask, “What are we?”

“We’re Gryffindors,” James replied at the same time that Sirius said something like “The stars of the show.”

You sighed at their answer and motioned for Sirius to sit up with a light pull on his shoulders. “I meant what are we…” you said, emphasizing the last bit by pointing at the three of you.

James and Sirius exchanged a look. They’d had this conversation before, neither of them willing to give you up, so they settled on sharing. They were both okay with it; in fact, they enjoyed cuddling each other too. “Whatever you want us to be, angel,” Sirius answered earnestly, grabbing one of your hands and intertwining your fingers together.

“If you want us to pull away, or one of us to step back away, we’ll respect your wish, but–” James started.

“–Neither of us wants that,” Sirius finished.

You looked at the two of them. “Neither… neither do I.”

BONUS:

The mixtape Sirius made for you: 1. "Space Oddity" by David Bowie 2. "Dream On" by Aerosmith 3. "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin 4. "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye 5. "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen 6. "Hotel California" by Eagles 7. "Imagine" by John Lennon 8. "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green 9. "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton 10. "You're My Best Friend" by Queen

A/N: Hope you like this lil thing I made for you sweets, it got out of hand, as always, but I kind of absolutely adore the result, our boys are so adorbale, it's almost impossible to handle ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

Sending you great vibes, Lilly xxx

MASTERLIST

[geminisecrets]

Bad Habit

Warnings:  18+ ONLY! NSFW! Explicit sexual content, coarse language, oral sex, smut, unprotected sex, alcohol, jealousy kink, mentions of weed.

Word Count: 6.7K

Summary: jealous Sam idk that's pretty much it lol. aka the one where jake unintentionally helps you get laid

Authors Note: Listennnnn it took us a long time to post this because we had a bit of writers block, we also had a show and quite the trip planned around it, so it's been crazy. But, we hope you enjoy this jealous Sam fic hehe

Y’all are super duper fuckin rad for telling us what you think about our stuff. ☯️

Requests are open :) 

Join our tag list ✨

“A little faster, baby.” I beg breathlessly. Sam obediently quickens the pace of his middle and ring fingers as they stroke that spot inside me. Lazily, his tongue licks between my lips, stopping every so often to flick his tongue over my clit. “Just like that.” 

“God, you look so fucking hot like this.” He groans into my pussy, his hips rocking into the mess of sheets and pillows under him. 

“So do you.” I mumble, gazing down at him as his tongue swipes up my center, lips and nose shining wet with my slick. He spits at my clit before going back in to devour me. 

“Lover?” I hear his voice, quiet and soft, call to me. 

“Hmm?” I hum, incredibly distracted by the way the scruff of his facial hair is tickling my thighs. 

“You know how we’re going to Hawaii in two weeks?” He asks.

“Mhm.” 

“Remember how Josh and his girlfriend begged to tag along? And we said yes?” 

“I agreed to it only if you promised to do the laundry for a month, but yes–” my voice catches as another wave hits me. “Why? Why are we talking about your brother right now?” I grimace. 

“Well, Jake found out…” he mutters, face still between my thighs. I groan and push him back a little, mood completely ruined at this point. 

“Samuel Fransis Kiszka… did you think you could soften the blow of this news with sex?” I begin to say, as Sam looks up at me with his doe eyes, pleading with me guiltily. 

He ignores the question.“Josh and I felt bad for leaving him out. I had to invite him, Sunshine.” There’s a pause as he anticipates my response, but I’m waiting, eyebrows raised, for further explanation. He peppers wet, sucking kisses across my thighs and up to my belly button in an attempt to lighten the mood again, but to no avail. “It’s just that he’s been in such a slump since he broke up with–”

“I know, I know.” I agree. See, I’m torn here. Part of me is pissed. Sam and I had finally found time to go on a trip, just the two of us. This getaway we’ve been looking forward to now included not one, but both of his brothers. Shit, we might as well just invite Danny and make it a family vacation. 

I also feel…warm. Warm because I love that Sam loves his family. He’s always prioritized them and it’s a quality of his I find incredibly endearing. And, I do love Josh and his girlfriend Pepper, and I love Jake and want him to get out of his own head for a week. 

“Fuck it. The more the merrier,” I roll my eyes teasingly at him, reaching for the back of his head and guiding it between my legs. He returns my smile and reattaches his lips to my clit, arms wrapping around my legs to keep them from clamping shut over his ears. “We'll circle back to this conversation later,” I breathe out. With the feeling of victory he has from me taking the news better than he thought, his vigor ramps up. His fingers curl inside me with purpose and determination as his lips suction onto my core, tongue drawing circles against the spot just above my clit. “I’m close, Sam. Don’t stop,” and before I can even take another full breath, I’m cumming around his fingers. 

As I come down, Sam slips his fingers into his mouth and then wipes them on the leg of his sweatpants. “Shower with me, Sunshine?” He asks, getting to his feet and reaching a hand out for me. I take it, padding barefoot behind him into the bathroom, legs still a little wobbly from the orgasm he’d given me. I reach into the shower and turn the left nozzle, warming up the water as he grabs two towels from the closet next to the sink.  

“You know I think you’re going to regret inviting your brothers on this trip.” I smile, wrapping my arms around Sam’s torso from behind and meeting his eyes as in the mirror as the steam from the hot water already starts to fog up our reflection. 

“Why’s that?” He asks, running his wooden handled paddle brush through the long tresses of his hair, wincing when he catches a snag. I let my hands roam the expanse of his bare chest and stare at the long column of his neck as he swallows, eyes now following the path my hands are taking. 

“I think you know why.” I smirk, biting his shoulder, my eyes finally meeting his again. 

“We’ll have our own room, beautiful.” He reminds me, turning in my arms to face me, placing his hands delicately on my cheeks.

“In a shared bungalow, handsome.” I sneer, teasing. Sam’s head lolls back as he lets out a groan, chuckling lightly. 

“I’m sorry, okay, you know how Josh gets with planning and shit and he begged for this place.” He explains. “It’s supposed to be a dream inside with an incredible view.” 

“I’m not really the one who should be worried anyway, am I?” I lean in, pressing a kiss to the hollow at the base of his neck. “You’re the loud one.” I smirk against his skin as I feel his chest vibrate under me, the howl of his laugh making me giggle in tandem. 

___________________

“I think my ass is going to be asleep for the rest of my life.” Jake groans as we step off of the plane and out into the humid, sticky, Hawaiian air. Immediately, we’re peeling layers off. Sweatshirts and cardigans are being tied around waists and hung over forearms as we saunter through the airport, following signs to baggage claim. After being cramped up in a plane for eleven hours, we’re all happy to be stretching our legs. 

The taxi ride to our bungalow is longer than we anticipated, so by the time we all get inside, I’m sideswiping my friends to get to the bathroom. It just so happens to be in the bedroom right off the living room. 

“Guess we’ll take that bedroom.” I hear Sam laugh, following me. 

“Pepper and I will take the loft then!” Josh shouts, practically running up the stairs, his girlfriend close behind. 

“No way. I get the couch bed? All to myself? How’d I get so lucky?” Jake teases, flopping onto the plush white linen of the rather large couch in the living room.

“Best bed in the house for the best brother I have.” Sam says, joining him on the couch. 

“I heard that!” Josh yells from above. I join Sam and Jake on the couch, fitting into the space they’ve left between them as I cuddle into Sam’s side, feet tucked under Jake’s leg and start to drift off to sleep, jetlag hitting me like a ton of bricks.

___________________

The clock is just ticking past seven in the morning when there’s a pounding on our door. I quickly cover my naked body with the sheets and before I know it, Josh is waltzing into the bedroom. “Wake up! We’ve got beaches to see!” He beams, sunlight radiating from behind him, causing me to roll over and pull the blanket up a little higher over my head. 

“We’re on vacation,” Sam mumbles, tossing in the sheets and covering his face with a pillow. I feel his hand reach out for me under the covers and I give it a squeeze.  

“Come on you lazy bastards, Jake made breakfast and Pepper’s too nice to eat without you. We’re starving.” Josh responds. 

When I hear the door click shut, I peak my head over the covers and stretch the sleep out of my muscles. I expect a good morning kiss from Sam. The same good morning kiss I’ve received every morning since we've been together. But when I roll to my head to the left, Sam’s walking into the ensuite bathroom, phone is his hand, typing away. 

“Excuse you?” I feign offense, although I’m not sure how feigned it really is. His head whips up to look back to me as though he’d forgotten there was even anyone else in the room. He hums in question and furrows his eyebrows, waiting for me to go on. “Are you forgetting something?” I ask, sitting up further.

“Course not, Sunshine.” He shakes his head, walking back over to my side of the bed to plant a kiss on my lips. It’s a peck. Not nearly as slow or soft as I wish it was and I find myself leaning forward, chasing his lips as he pulls away, retreating into the bathroom. 

Sam and I make our way out of the bedroom, half clothed and still half awake. When we turn the corner into the kitchen, we find Jake in a tiny apron, spatula in hand, and I can’t help but laugh at the sight of him. 

“What’s so funny?” Jake asks me, head whipping around, tapping the spatula to the palm of his hand. 

“Nothing, I just never thought I’d live to see the day where you're living out your housewife fantasy,” I mock. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s funny now, but wait until you taste these pancakes.” He boasts. “Un-fucking-real.”

Eventually, we all get ready, and load up the rental car– a lovely 2012 Toyota Sienna.

“Ahhh, the champagne of cars,” Jake chides, sitting in the third row backseat, palms resting on the headrests of the captains chairs in front of him. 

“You’re telling me you don’t think you could pull any women in this thing?” Sam asks, slapping the leather seat. 

“Oh, the car has nothing to do with the ability I have to pull women, Samuel.” Jake huffs.

Jake has always had a multitude of women at his reach, everyone always wants a piece. He’s been like that ever since I’ve known him and from what I've heard, ever since he was a teenager. Jake is the perfectly dangerous mix of meekly charming and confidently sexy. 

I met Jake while he was working at the cafe on campus when we were both in college. We became friends quickly. He was with another girl at the time but he had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the world when he was talking to you. He’s incredibly easy to naturally gravitate toward, but damn, he keeps his walls up high. It makes him practically unreachable. 

I’ve seen many women come and go from his life over the years that I’ve been with Sam. They all have the same mindset of, “Oh, I can change him,” but they never last. After I was introduced to Sam, everything else was history. I don’t even know if Jake remembers the stage in life where he unknowingly had me wrapped around his finger. 

The drive to the beach is embarrassingly short. We really could have walked, but the resort is huge and we didn't want to chance getting lost. As we pull up to the white sand, I feel unbridled joy bubble up inside me. 

Once we finally set up camp on the beach, the sunscreen is being applied, the drinks start flowing and the music coming from the speaker at the little tiki bar behind us is setting the perfect vibe for the day. 

After about an hour in the sun, I start to squirm. “Fuck, it’s hot.” I whine from my lounge chair. Shifting on my side to face Sam’s chair and sliding my sunglasses down my nose, I ask, “swim with me?” He doesn’t answer at first and I almost think he’s asleep before he shrugs and says,

“Maybe in a bit.” 

“I’ll go in with you.” Jake offers from his spot on the other side of his brother. Josh and Pepper end up following too. 

After a dip in the ocean, with everyone but Sam, we all make our way back to the beach. Sam has moved from his chair to the shade of the beachside bar. I walk over to him, still soaking wet and wrap my arms around his neck, soaking him and smacking a kiss to his cheek. 

“Fuck, you’re freezing.” He hisses and winces, pulling away from me. 

“Why are you being such a grump?” I ask, trying to get a feel for exactly what happened between last night and this morning to put him in such a piss-poor mood. 

“I’m not being– I’m fine.” He pushes his sunglasses off his nose and rests them in his hair. “It’s just hot.” 

“Yeah, so the cool thing about the beach is that there’s this huge body of water you can go in to cool off.” I tease, still trying to lighten the mood. 

“What a strange, new concept.” He snides, grabbing his drink and shuffling past me back to the lounge chairs to join the others. I audibly huff out a humorless laugh and roll my eyes as I turn to the bartender. 

“I’ll take a mojito please.”

—--------------

Sam's phone is repeatedly going off, text, after text, after text and he’s checking it like a fourteen year old girl checks the Snapchat notifications from her crush. 

“Jesus, who is that? Your wife?” I ask, only half joking, reaching for the phone only intending to put it on silent. 

Sam reaches for it as I do, our hands colliding. “Umm…” He gulps, looking at me, “It’s–” He doesn't have to say her name before I see it on the screen. 

“Oh.” I say. “What does she want this time?” I question, trying to play it as cool as possible. Sam gestures for me to read the messages myself. I type in his password and start scrolling through the dozens of text messages, the first one coming in last night around midnight. 

All I’m seeing as I skim are keywords like “hospital” and “again” and “new medication” and “so depressed” and “I miss you guys”, “I’m here when you’re ready”–you get the point. 

That incredibly familiar, complicated feeling of jealousy and hurt washes over me. This isn’t the first time that this has happened. Sam’s ex-girlfriend slides back into his messages every few months or so. Sam being the kind and generous guy that he is, always responds. Politely telling her that she needs to move on, etc. But, there’s so much more to it than what you’re probably thinking. There’s a history there that dates back much further than I can even put a date to. A history that involves a myriad of mental health crises, mood disorders and deeply unhealthy attachment styles. 

We’ve had this conversation multiple times. So many hours spent arguing and discussing and crying. I have love for her too. She was my friend too and I want the best for her, but Sam can’t be her security blanket anymore. The last time we talked about this we’d both agreed that he would stop responding to her cries for help. She has good people in her life, she has a solid therapist and a loving family. Sam doesn’t need to be her savior anymore. 

What’s frustrating me is that he’s clearly giving in once again. I don’t know if it’s his savior complex or if he’s trying to hurt me for some reason, but I’m tired of it. 

After a full day on the beach, we decide it’s time for dinner. We’re all tired, sunburnt, and starving, so we pile up in the minivan as Josh drives us back to the bungalow. 

Exhausted, we decided to stop for dinner on the way home instead of going back out later. As we shuffle in the house, everyone drops their beach bags by the door and heads straight for the showers. Clean and lazy and still a little jet lagged, I join Jake on the couch. He reaches for the TV remote and picks out the movie, ‘50 First Dates’.

 “Hawaii. Very cliche,” I say, huffing out a laugh. 

“I feel as though it’s mandatory”, he responds. 

Meanwhile, Sam is typing frantically on his phone in the arm chair across the room, not muttering a word. He’s been like this since we left the beach. I try my hardest to ignore it, because I know exactly what he’s doing– feeding into his ex’s bullshit yet again. 

About halfway through the movie, Josh and Pepper break off to head to bed for the night, leaving Sam who is still glued to his phone, Jake who is glued to the TV, and myself, sitting awkwardly on the couch, bored, irritated, and tense. How many times are we going to have this fight? How many times am I going to sit here feeling guilty for being pissed off? 

“Holy shit, where did that bruise come from?” Jake asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

“Huh?” I ask, following his gaze to my thigh. 

“Right there.” He emphasizes his point by poking his finger into the reddish-purple spot on my skin. 

“Ouch, fuck!” I laugh, pulling away. “It must’ve been when I wiped out during our failed body surfing attempt today.” I grimace as I poke the edges of the bruise myself, assessing the damage. “I bruise so easily, I didn’t even notice it.” I chuckle, looking up to Sam. “Did you, babe?” 

Silence. He’s in another world over there. “Sam.” I say, directly. 

“Hmm?” He hums, head lolled back against the armchair, eyes on the glowing screen in his lap. 

“Did you notice this bruise?” I ask. Finally, he looks over to me but not for more than half a second before he’s preoccupied again. 

“No, I didn’t. Looks gnarly.” He states, deadpan, mind clearly elsewhere. 

“Do you want some ice or something?” Jake asks and I feel heat rise to my cheeks in embarrassment. Something about Jake noticing, taking the time to care about something as menial as a bruise I didn’t even feel until he touched it, when my boyfriend could not seem to care any less, is humiliating to me. 

“No, no I’m fine.” I brush it off. “I’m sure it’ll be yellow by the morning.” Jake nods in agreement but I can feel that he’s not convinced in the way his eyes linger on my skin. I feel it then, the flame, flicker, ember, even, of heat in my belly as his eyes drag down the length of my leg when he thinks I’m not watching. When he looks up to my face, his eyes flash wide for a second and he tries to hide a smile, turning back to watch the movie I know none of us are paying attention to. I can’t help but smile back before mimicking his actions and facing the screen. 

I’m not overly proud of my next move, but it does eventually get me exactly what I want. 

“Maybe that wipeout hit me harder than I thought.” I groan, reaching up to squeeze my shoulder muscle. Jake looks back over to me. “There’s a knot the size of a fucking baseball here.” I laugh. “Feel this.” I scoot closer to him on the couch. Without hesitation, he reaches over and gently digs his thumb into my deltoid. “No, here.” I reach for his hand and guide it closer to my neck. I press his fingers into the flesh there and watch as his eyebrows furrow. 

“Jesus, it’s like a rock.” He notes. I drop my hand and he continues to poke into the muscle with the tips of his fingers. I hiss when he rolls his fingers over the tendon. “Shit, sorry.” He pulls his hand away. 

“No–” I reply, maybe a little too enthusiastically, grabbing his wrist. Jake’s eyes widen again, this time in humor as my grip tightens on him. “Don’t stop.” I say, eyes flashing to Sam who is now sitting up a little straighter in his chair. 

It’s fun to make Sam squirm every once in a while. We’ve played this game before. He’ll make a comment about our server when we’re out or I’ll blow a kiss to a stranger. It always ends in explosive sex when we get home, or on the rare occasion, before we get home. It is, after all, harmless. Harmless in the sense that they’re always strangers and the intent is never malicious. It’s always more of a dare when we’re drunk or feeling brave. This feels a little different. Like I’m breaking the rules. 

As Jake massages my muscles, I start to really get into it, tossing my head to the side and letting out soft, faint noises of relief. It’s as I glance up at Sam and then back to Jake that he finally gets exactly what’s going on here and decides to feed into it further. He purses his lips around a grin and squints his eyes at me, shaking his head. 

“Why don’t you lie down on your stomach and I’ll tickle your back for you,” Jake offers. I slowly move myself down to the floor, making sure not to lock eyes with Sam. I lie on my chest and pull a throw pillow from the couch down to rest my head on. This isn’t so strange. We’ve been friends for years. Platonic back rubs, hair braiding, even the odd cuddle on the couch isn’t out of the ordinary for our friend group, but again, we all know this is different.  

Sam, still not uttering a word, continues to scroll through his phone but begins to look up at us every so often. I can feel his eyes on me, flashing questions, but I never meet his stare. He knows what I’m doing, but how far can I push him? 

I expect Jake to take a seat next to me, but he ups the ante just that much more when he straddles me, each leg falling to the side of my hips. I can feel him grind down on me as he tries to get a little more comfortable. I can see Sam’s face from this angle but I close my eyes, really giving into the facade. 

His fingers start to trace lightly up and down on my back. “Go a little slower, but a tad bit deeper Jakey,” I quietly breathe out, falling into a trance. He does as I say, slowing down his movement but digging his fingertips in a little harder.  “Feels kind of like deja vu.” 

“Are you talking about the night after Emma’s party when we crashed together in the guest room?” Jake laughs. 

I giggle at the thought. The night he’s referring to was a little (a lot) less sexy than he’s making it out to be, but there is a resemblance. After smoking too much pot and nearly greening out, I felt a panic attack coming on so Jake and I slept in the guest room. He rubbed circles on my back to help ground and calm me. I didn’t even know Sam at the time. 

“Here.” Jake says as he scoots back a bit and pulls my shirt up exposing my bare back. I didn't put a bra on after my shower and I think it catches him a bit off guard. His confidence falters as he clears his throat but lets his hands continue to wander, fingers drawing patterns on my skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

At this point Sam is staring daggers into us. I can see his chest rising and falling and I chance a look up at his face. His eyes aren't on mine, however they’re burning holes into his brother’s hands as they roam my skin. 

Feeling like we’ve taken this just about as far as we can aside from literally fucking in front of Sam, Jake moves to lay down on the floor beside me and I throw an arm out by his head, signalling for him to rest there. He scoots closer then, head in the crook of my elbow, eyes back on the TV. When I look back up to Sam, he’s finally put his phone down. He’s staring down at us from the armchair, his eyes nothing but slits as he gives me a disapproving scowl. 

“So, is this why you agreed to come to Hawaii with us?” Sam asks Jake. His words come out a curt and bitey, though I know he’s trying to stay casual. 

A smile brims his lips before his eyes slowly flutter open to respond. “I was thinking about making my move. Been thinking about it for years.” I know he’s only saying it as a jab to Sam, but something about the way he lifts up on his elbow, head in his hand, looking down at me, makes my stomach twist. Sam scoffs out a laugh. 

“We all know you had your chance years ago.” Sam mocks, standing now, stretching his arms over his head. The sliver of skin between his low slinging sweatpants and his t-shirt peeks out. I can’t help but look and of course he catches me. Damnit. The smirk he’s wearing pisses me off again and I shift up onto my elbows as well, looking over to Jake and our faces are less than a foot apart at this point.

“I don’t know, I could be persuaded into a polygamist situation.” I shrug, looking up at Sam now. “You’re always talking about how I’m so gullible I could find myself in a cult accidentally. Who's to say I don’t start one myself and get me a few brother husbands.” 

Jake tosses his head back and bellows out a laugh. “Brother husbands.” He repeats, tossing an arm around my neck and squeezing me into his side. “Whaddaya say Sammy, would you share with your big brother?” With his other hand he takes my jaw in his grasp and squeezes my face firmly, but gently until my lips pucker. “Don’t we look cute together?” He asks, pressing his cheek to mine. 

Meanwhile, Sam has lost any and all ability to ‘stay cool.’ He’s never been good at hiding his emotion or masking the way he really feels. He wears his heart on his sleeve and comes by his emotions honestly. Good or bad. 

“Cute isn't really the word that's coming to mind, no.” He grits, the smile on his face is so fake, it’s almost cartoonish. Jake’s grip on my face loosens and his hand wanders down to my stomach, laying it there casually as he continues, as if it’s the way we always touch each other. 

“Cute isn’t really a word I’d use to describe her either, if I’m being honest.” Jake says, suggestively, reaching to play with the string on my hoodie, and that does it. The silence is deafening as they stare at one another before,

“I think it’s time we call it a night, we’ve had a long day and could all use some sleep,” Is all I say. I sit forward and reach for Sam to help me up, but he’s already turned his back on me to pick up his phone from the armchair. 

“Here.” Jake says, standing and reaching for my hands. I’m not even fully stood up yet before Sam’s walking through our bedroom door and shutting it behind him. 

“Fuck.” I mutter, guiltily. 

“Maybe that was a bit much.” Jake grins, bumping his hip to mine. 

“Yeah you were laying it on pretty thick there, Jesus Christ.” I joke, shoving his bicep, though he barely stumbles. “If I didn't know better, I’d say you were barely acting at all.” I tease, facing him and walking backward toward the bedroom I share with Sam. 

He says nothing, only stares at me with a look on his face I can only describe as… coy. 

“Goodnight, gorgeous.” He smiles and turns around to make up his couch bed. “And goodluck with Casanova tonight.” I roll my eyes and finally turn to face the wooden door in front of me. The doorknob is in my hand, but it takes every ounce of willpower I have to turn it. 

When I open the door, the lights are all off except for the sliver of light coming from underneath the bathroom door. With a deep breath, I tap lightly on the door and hear a grunt from the other side. “Can I brush my teeth?” I ask softly. He says nothing but swings the door open, shirt off, hair in a messy bun, and toothbrush dangling from his mouth. 

I maneuver past him to the second sink on the counter and grab my toothbrush, starting my night routine in silence. The tension in this bathroom with Sam is painfully thick and I start to wonder if I really did take it too far. “Sam–” I start at the same time he says,

“Fuck you for that, by the way.” 

“Are you– Me?” I ask, toothbrush tipped over abandoned on the counter, toothpaste making a mess. 

“Yeah what the fuck was all that? Are you trying to make my bad day worse?” 

“Your bad day?” I nearly laugh. 

“Stop responding to my questions with questions.” He snides, spitting into the sink and putting his toothbrush into the little cup on the ledge. 

“Sam, can you seriously not see, from my perspective, how fucking miserable I was at the beach when your face was in your phone all day?”

“You think I wanted to be?” He retaliates. “You think I wanted to come on vacation with my favorite people only to be burdened with her shit yet again?”

“Yet again!” I walk past him into the bedroom and flick on the light. “Exactly. Cause we’ve been through this a million fucking times, Sam.” He follows me in and walks over to the bed where he fluffs his pillow and turns down the sheets.

“I promise you, I’m just as sick of it as you are.” He huffs. 

“You’re not the one fighting for affection in this relationship.” I frown, pulling my top over my head and reaching for an oversized tee to throw on for bed. “It fucking sucks.” 

“You say that like you've had to fight for anything at all in this relationship.” He bites. “I’m the one that moved because of your job. I’m the one who gave up my dog because you’re allergic. I’m the–” 

“Okay!” I raise my voice, now standing at my side of the bed. “I get it, Jesus, I’m a horrible nagging wench who clearly should’ve taken Jake up on that offer to hook up four years ago.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I want to swallow them. 

“I fucking knew it!” He laughs. “I knew you were getting off on that shit in the living room.”  

“Are you really putting this back on me?” I start to say as he talks over me.

“You want to fuck my brother don’t you.” He asks, and something about the tone of his voice as he slowly walks around the foot of the bed makes heat shoot through me from my throat down between my legs. He stares, waiting for me to respond as he stalks me like prey. 

“Are you being serious right now?” I ask, but I know the shake in my voice is giving me away. 

“I know you wanted him.” He says, now standing directly in front of me. “You can’t tell me there’s not a touch of that still in there.” He says, his hand slipping up under my t-shirt, finger ghosting along my underwear band. “In here.” 

My breaths start coming a little more sporadically as his eyes bore into mine, his fingers still wandering. 

“There she is,” he says, lips brushing mine. 

“Sam,” I whimper against his mouth as we breathe each other’s air. 

“There’s my girl.” He says. “My girl.” His fingers finally slide into my underwear. 

“Your girl.” I whisper, and just as soon as I feel his fingertips on my clit, they’re gone.

“Oh, so now you want to play nice?” He asks, reaching around me to turn the light off and then flicking on the bedside lamp. “What was all that out in the living room if you’re mine?” 

“I was just trying to get you to pay attention to me.” I nearly whisper. “Wanted you to want me.” 

“And you thought letting my brother put his hands all over you was going to get you what you wanted?” He asks, stepping toward me again, lightly pushing on my shoulders to lay down on the bed.

“That was the goal, yeah.” I smirk, lip between my teeth. 

“Did it feel good?” He asks, pressing his fingertips into the flesh on my shoulder that Jake had massaged just minutes ago. 

“Um..” I begin, not quite sure how to answer. “I mean, yeah my shoulders were pretty tense after a whole day of you stressing me the fuck out.” 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He chastises, straddling my hips, hands on either side of my head. “I want to know if you felt it in your pussy when he touched your shoulders.” I audibly moan in response to the boldness of his question. “Answer me, Sunshine.” He says, lips at my ear and hand traveling back down between my legs. 

“I–” I swallow, distracted by the feel of his fingers lightly petting me over my underwear. His teeth sink into my shoulder just enough to sting as he coaxes the confession out of me. “Yes!” I squeal. “Yes, fuck okay, yes it turned me on.” His lips and tongue soothe the area he’d bitten and he kisses down my chest, pulling at the neckline of my t-shirt to get at my breasts. 

His silence stirs up a need in me to explain myself. “All day long.” I start. “All day long, I’ve been thinking about fucking you,” I moan. 

“Is that so?” He asks, lips suctioning around my nipple. “Where, Sunshine?” 

“Everywhere. The beach, the kitchen, the fucking gas station.” 

“The gas station?” He chuckles, teeth grazing the sensitive bud of my opposite nipple. 

“Anywhere, God, is it not crystal fucking clear by now that I’m a slave for your affection? That I’d do anything for it?” I moan, hands gripping his hair to hold him close. 

He lifts his head to look at me and I can’t quite read the emotion on his face. He sits back a little bit and runs his hands under my shirt, lifting it off of me and over my head.  

“Anything?” He asks, hands running all over my body, starting with cupping my cheeks in his hands, down to my throat where he squeezes lightly, his blunt fingernails scraping down my chest, causing me to gasp as his hands squeeze my waist. 

“Anything, Sam.” 

He brings his hand to my mouth and slips two of his fingers past my lips. I swirl my tongue around them and watch his jaw fall open slightly as he watches my mouth. When he pulls them out, he reaches down to push my panties to the side and slide them inside of me. 

“Say it again.” 

“Anything.” I say. “I need you.” His fingers continue to pump in and out of me while his thumb moves to swipe repeatedly over my clit. My back begins to arch and that’s when he stops. 

“Not gonna be that easy,” he grins, standing up and pulling his boxers down and throwing them to the floor. 

“Careful not to wake anyone up with that pretty mouth, angel,” I tease as he crawls back on top of me and positions himself over my face, grabbing me by the hair and pulling me onto his cock. 

I slide him inside of my mouth until I feel him hit the back of my throat. His cock pulses inside my mouth as he begins to moan, gripping my hair harder with each thrust. 

His hips buck into my mouth and his breathing changes, I can taste the precum on my tongue as I circle him around in my mouth, paying special attention to the head the way I know he likes. 

He pulls out of me and before I can even catch my breath, he’s kneeling on the floor, throwing my legs over his shoulders, his mouth at my entrance, fucking into me with his tongue.  

“Fuck, yeah.” I groan, grasping at the sheets. His tongue pushes into me as far as it can go and his nose presses against my clit perfectly. “Oh my God.” I sigh as I rock my hips against his face. He hums his approval, creating the most unholy vibrating sensation through me from the inside out. His hands move to grip my hips, grinding me against his face as his nose slides up and down over my clit. “I’m gonna cum, Sam.” 

And I really should not have warned him because he licks one stripe up and my slit, and pulls away to leave wet trails all over my thighs as he peppers kisses all around me. 

“Careful Sunshine, you’ll ruin the sheets,” he says, as if that’d be solely my fault. 

“Maybe I want to,” I whine as he lies down on the bed next to me. 

“Such a needy little whore for me,” he says with a smoldering look on his face as he wipes his mouth clean. I can do absolutely nothing but moan in response. I love when he talks to me like this, and he knows it. “You wanna be my whore tonight, Sunshine?” He asks, pulling me on top of him. 

“Mmhmmm,” I say.

“Ride me,” he demands as he slaps my ass. I hover above him as he aligns himself with my core, teasing it at my entrance, rubbing my clit with the tip of his cock. 

He grabs me by the hips and slams me on to him, I cry out a moan in response, “fuck!” 

“Shhh shhh, don’t wanna wake ‘Jakey’, now do we?” He says. 

“Shut up,” I say as I continue to bounce up and down on him, watching him squirm below me as if I have the power, knowing full well that I don’t. 

In retaliation, he flips us over. With my knees bent and him in between my thighs, he thrusts himself back into me and picks a pace and rhythm that takes my breath away. 

“You are so fucking perfect.” He says, sweetly peppering kisses against my cheeks and lips, a complete juxtaposition from the way he’s pounding into me so perfectly I think I might have bruises in the morning. He grabs me by the hips and arches my back deeper so I’m not laying completely flat on the bed. 

“You’re so deep, Sam.” I say between gasps as he takes my breath away with each thrust. 

“Can you feel me here?” He asks, pressing into the skin under my belly button, making me squeal. “Jesus, you’re soaked,” He leans over me, then, my knees pressed to both of our chests as he grabs the back of my neck with his right hand, applying pressure to my pulse points. 

“Harder,” I cry out, as he slams into me, fingers squeezing tighter then moving around to my throat. 

“You like that, don’t you?” He teases as his hand grips a little tighter around my throat. I open my mouth to tell him I’m cumming but my orgasm washes over me in breathtaking waves. My hips continue to buck up against his as he grinds down into me until I feel his release inside of me. 

He falls to the side of me, pushing my hair away from my face and peppering the smallest of kisses down my cheek. My eyes flutter closed as I regulate my breathing.

“Hey.” He takes my face in his hands. “You’re right.” I open my mouth to tease him, because, yes. I know I am, but he smiles and beats me to it, clasping a hand over my mouth. “Don’t.” I smile under his hand and he kisses my forehead. “I wished her all the best and blocked her number right before your little stunt out there.” He confesses, reaching around me to turn off the bedside lamp. 

Masterlist

Taglist: @doodle417 @gvfrry @spicedandicedtea @yeehawbesties @samkiszkalover @gretavansteph @saoirsemaeve @mannick @theweightofjake @basiccortez @lallisonl @sammiejane22 @loofypoofy @sammyslappers @gretavanfleas @jakeyboiiiiiii @angelqueen99 @keighoe @myownparadise96 @gretavanbitches @kittykiszka @s0livagant @hallecat17 @aconfusedhippie @katie-gvf

[garden-bug]

This post discusses the value of the application of moral values to stories not typically considered literature. Lit students and writers, enjoy (I can promise you it doesn’t go into much depth but hopefully it’s a little interesting).

Please only respond if you have read Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn. Do not respond based on the Ahsoka series or Filoni’s depiction of the character I don’t think Filoni understands this character either.

Just rbd somebody who thought the entire fandom was obsessed with good vs evil and applying certain moral values. Been thinking about this and can’t figure out what’s wrong with that in the slightest. Anyway, I need to know what we all think cause I’m curious now.

Some thoughts on the value of the application of moral values to stories below (read at your own risk oh my god sorry). Disclaimer: I am a literature student.

My experience of this fandom is positive overall. We like Thrawn but understand his moral ambiguity (unless… you don’t. In which case, what books have you been reading and do you understand what moral ambiguity is? It doesn’t mean he’s a ‘bad’ character. If anything it’s a good thing because it makes him more interesting. Compare morally ambiguous Zahn’s Thrawn to the much less ambiguous and more evil Filoni’s Thrawn. Which is a better character? See, we’re analysing morality here.)

Genuinely, if you picked one of the 100% options and have a good reason let me know why because that’s so interesting to me. You must have a very black and white world view.

For anyone who picked the last option, you’ve just undermined one of the major reasons we study literature and the value and intrigue of stories to society (and my uni degree lol). Interesting choice. You must have had some bad experiences in this fandom.

(Also DNI in that case. I’m not interested in a debate on whether critical analysis of morality is interesting you can read my final essay. Also BORING. CRINGE. Idk just DNI or do so I can block you I guess because interacting with someone when they said DNI is an interesting moral choice as well since we’re on the topic.)

As I said before, you can still enjoy a character and acknowledge (and appreciate) their moral flaws. ‘Good character’ and ‘good morals’ are not synonymous. Why does people talking about morality annoy you so much? I’m sure they appreciate the character more than you for it. (Unless they’re being 100% about it in which case fair enough that’s annoying BUT bear in mind it’s unrealistic to expect people to address the moral ambiguity of an entire story in a post about one specific aspect. Some people will tho they are cool.)

[feenxpit]

Another Angel Sketch/Doodle!

(and this time, it’s on paper)

(Read more for a ramble about my art progress)

I’m trying to get better at drawing because my style has barely changed since middle school due to the fact that I barely draw because I’m a perfectionist that’s never impressed with my own work, so I usually give up and don’t bother improving. For the past month or two, however, I’ve been making effort and attempts anyway and figuring things out through trial and error as I go. I never draw bodies- usually only from the shoulders up. However, anyone who looks at my posts/art knows that I’ve been slowly testing the waters and practicing, working my way up to trying to draw a full body and eventually some poses.

Sketching and drawing Angel has been my favorite way to practice the things I’ve struggled with: bodies (drawing that many arms for one character gives you so much practice lol) and non-humans (I’ve been drawing nothing but people for like a decade).

Proud of the progress I’m making!

{{PS: I’ve been working on my first fanfic for the past two days now. I’m excited to finish that and share it with y’all! I promise that I’m a way better of a writer than I am an artist. 💀 I actually take pride in my writing, so I’m really hype to share it. It’s my first fic in 5 years, and I already know it’s my best. It’s also my first fanfic that’s not an x reader. That’s even more exciting! Anyway, gonna go work on that now, byeeee}}

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗ 𝖩𝖺𝗇𝗎𝖺𝗋𝗒 ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗

I hope everyone has had an amazing start to the new year, I know it can be tough and January lowkey sucks but it will get better! 2022 for me was a long year of recovery and somehow I'm kinda clean (although I still don't know how to feel about it, especially when people comment on how much 'better' I'm doing but I'm taking it a day at a time.) Anyways, I kinda feel like 2023 might be a good-ish year so I hope it is for you too <3

ps. I know this list is early but I'm like a toddler who gets to excited to wait for anything and ruins it, so here is the early but one of my favourite rec lists to make. (idk why but it was particularly fun this month lol)

this year I'm also gonna try putting out some decent content starting with my fics (available here). I'm currently only writing for Steve and Eddie from Stranger things but in the future I may try writing for other fandoms (the Xavier Thorpe fic was a self indulgent piece idk if I'll carry on writing for him though), I'd really appreciate anyone to give feedback and reblog cause it keeps me motivated (pls I'm actually begging for some attention lmao my last two fics have got like zero attention and I genuinely don't know if I'm a shit writer or something else lmao, pls even if you hate it lmk! I'll take anything atp).

anyways... ignore my rambles as always, the last piece of news im sharing is my new series I'm starting soon! where I'll be diving into the history of metal and what it means to the community etc so if thats something you'd be interested in you are more than welcome to join the army of maggots I've got going on (I say an army but I'm pretty sure it's just me lol).

[please respect writers terms, I am not responsible for what kind of content you consume but please be aware that minors will be blocked if they chose to interact with 18+ content.]

more fic recommendations available here

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗏𝖾 𝖧𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗍𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The mixtape detectives by @babyrunsforfanfic

Want me like I want you by @beezywriting

Under the covers by @stevesbabysittingservice

Hey Steven by @munsonsreputation

If you loved me (why’d you leave me?) by @1986harrington

When we are together by @foreverromanticising

I’m never going to dance again, the way I danced with you by @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

Love as sweet as honey (and lover I’m hungry) by @stevebabey

Time after time by @musingginger

Sharing secrets by @livingintheupsidedown

A virtual romance (new series!) by @justmeinadaze

Tis the damn season (series!) by @katyswrites

Bad at love by @loveshotzz

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖤𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖾 𝖬𝗎𝗇𝗌𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Need you tonight by @sebuckyverse

Flipped by @ashwhowrites

Bottom of the bottle by @fanficsgal0re

New sensation by @darkdarkroom

Fooled round & fell in love (series!) by @bimbobaggins69

Lavander haze by @munsonsreputation

I think I’ve loved you forever by @cinemaquinn

Something new by @newlips

In the middle of nowhere (ongoing series!) by @sweetpeapod

Mine and yours by @muertawrites

Morning coffee by @jamdoughnutmagician

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖡𝗎𝖼𝗄𝗒 𝖡𝖺𝗋𝗇𝖾𝗌 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Side effect by @delaber

cherry blossom by @buckycuddlebuddy

Everyone’s watching him (but he’s looking at her) @writing-for-marvel

Shouldn’t have gone by @imyourbratzdoll

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖫𝗈𝗄𝗂 𝖫𝖺𝗎𝖿𝖾𝗒𝗌𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Chocolate & promises by @michelleleewise

lost prince (ongoing series!) by @xxntiimulti

For better or for worse (ongoing series!) by @wheredafandomat

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖷𝖺𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗋 𝖳𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗉𝖾 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Flower power by @pythonees

Siren song by @wintervalewritersecond

Rumors by @yourmidnightlover

Kiss me and shut up by @elysianrogers

Invisible string by @mntalbrakdown

Foxglove to adorne thy dells (ongoing series!) by @nevermoremagic

Something that we’re not by @profound-imagination

Artists collide by @shesluxurious

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖱𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝖢𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

So gorgeous it actually hurts by @folkloreslovechild

[velidewrites]

Your writing is amazing and I’m literally taking notes every time I read your work lol. I’ve been looking but do you have any Nessian or Nesta one-shots???

Thank you so much!! I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you like my writing 🥹 I haven't written a lot of Nessian, but you can find some of my drabbles here and here.

There are so many incredible Nessian works out there, so I made a small recs list of some of my favourites below!!

I See You by @iambutmortal is a Nessian Medusa AU that is so insanely hot I find myself thinking about it all the time. She also writes incredible Feysand and Elucien!!

Anything @separatist-apologist writes is pure excellence but her Montana!Cassian, Cowboy Like Me, is in my humble opinion one of the BEST Nessian fics out there. It has everything: hilarious banter, sexy smut and Cassian on a horse. It really doesn't get any better than this.

I have also recently started reading the masterpiece that is Viciousness & Intelligence by @thesistersarcheron and LET ME TELL YOU. The way this fic is making me insane. Nesta x Cassian x Azriel should've been canon, that's all I'm saying.

No one does Nessian like @moodymelanist, and Where The Light Won't Find You has got to be my favourite fic of hers, but they're all so insanely good make sure you check out her masterlist here if you haven't already!

@vulpes-fennec has just started an INCREDIBLE Circus AU, Prythian's Fantasia, and Nessian is one of the featured pairings. The first chapter is already out and I promise you you're in for a TREAT.

@headcanonheadcase, apart from being a sexy Gwynriel writer, also writes VERY sexy Nessian, and I have it on good authority she's currently working on an amazing Hockey AU (and if you like Gwynriel, make sure to check out The Bargain!!)

@fieldofdaisiies writes my FAVOURITE x Reader fics (have you read her Vampire!Elucien?? It single-handedly rewired my brain, I’m just saying), and you can find her Cassian and Nessian works here!!

Like I said - there are so many incredible Nessian fics out there, and I DEFINITELY forgot tons of them, but I'm working on a massive fic recs list so keep an eye out for more soon!! This fandom has so many talented people, we are truly blessed.

[day0walker]

“Let’s take a sentimental journey. Don’t forget to suffer. I haven’t.”

CURRENTLY ON HIATUS FROM FIC WRITING, APOLOGIES STAY TUNED FOR MORE I GUESS

Hi! Check out my masterlist for fic posts, I’m sure you’ll find something interesting. Icon is by @egg-ball ! Now, about me.

Call me Elliot. I’m better known on ao3 as grumpy_sniper. Basics: 30, American, they/them pronouns. Unfortunately a Gemini, big fan of tactical gear, monsters and winter time. Definitely just want to be making out with someone whose mouth is full of blood.

I’m just a simple writer with too much time on their hands. Please feel free to message me or DM me. I won’t always reply or quickly, but I’m friendly, promise.

If you see my blog posting, know that I have a queue running. So if you’re wondering why I haven’t answered an ask/DM, I could either not be online or be mobile and I’m waiting to be on my actual laptop lol

MINORS DNI. I cannot stress enough how NSFW this blog is.

I will not write whatever you want from me, but I am more than willing to accept requests occasionally! I reserve the right to say no to anything that passes into my ask box.

You can find my ao3 account here. It’ll always have more works on it and get updates first. That’s just how I work.

Here is the tag for all my current fanfics posted on tumblr. If you want my original writing, find it here.

Currently I write for König, Ghost, Soap, and Price. I’ll do reader inserts, but also heavy lean on my original characters.

If you’re interested in my original characters, check out my oc blog @day0walkersdrafts where you can learn more!

[astridthevalkyrie]

do you actually agree that fics depicting child r*pe should be allowed? do you not think that having media as that so accessible can de damaging? like i’m actually seriously asking not trying to give attitude

sorry i just pulled an all nighter so if this sounds incoherent it's because i haven't slept for the past 22 hours. thank you for seriously asking and not giving attitude lol

it's not about what i think should or shouldn't be allowed. fics depicting that aren't exactly my cup of tea. i don't read them, i don't write them. but authors are going to write dark content, whether that be fanfic authors or published ones. i've written dark stuff that might be totally fine with one person, but not fine with another. your local library might have stuff that makes the worst of ao3 look tame. dark content has existed and will always exist. the problem is, as that post put it, is saying authors can't or aren't allowed to write disgusting things means that now anything anyone dislikes can be labeled a disgusting thing. the slippery slope of authoritarianism.

there are published books that i would never ever want a child to accidentally happen upon, but it is the job of their parents to monitor what their kids are getting access to, the job of the librarians or booksellers to organize things in a way where it's not just open and easy for kids to read. the same thing applies with fics, it's parents' jobs to monitor their child's internet activity, and saying that children can access something is not a good enough reason to say that it means that the writer should never have brought it into existence.

fic writers have a responsibility to tag their fics and if you see someone incorrectly tagging (if you're on ao3 PLEASE be aware that "no archive warnings apply" is very very different from "author chose not to use archive warnings") or it's purposely misleading to get people to click and be traumatized, then yeah, in that case, it's absolutely the author's fault. send in a report!

but if a person as an adult sees warnings, registers them, reads the fic that has exactly those warnings, and then proceeds to say the author shouldn't have written it....it's just so much effort for a mistake on the reader's part. fic is about making yourself happy. why are you reading things that make you upset?

i was 13 or 14 when i joined tumblr. i was 10 or 11 when i started reading fanfic. at that time i barely saw minors dni stuff. i read smut, including dark fics and art that absolutely left me scared to sleep at night. not once did i ever tell the author they were at fault for writing it. i knew what i was about to read. i knew what i was consuming. it was on me and me alone (and i suppose my parents for not monitoring my internet activity). i have two younger sisters who both read and write fic. they weren't online for ff.net and they don't go on wattpad. their fanfic experience is almost entirely ao3 and the first thing they do when they go into a character or fandom tag is take out tags they don't like.

and i'm not naive. they have both most certainly read fics that they shouldn't have read. teenagers always do. i obviously did. very few teens see a minors dni and actually just stop reading the fic. but again—if the author has done their due diligence, on sites that are not meant for kids (tumblr and ao3 both), sites where freaks were promised to be allowed to be freaks, they are not responsible for minors who come into their space.

so that's one part of the argument. the other is the debate over whether writing fictional dark content makes someone as bad as actually participating in that dark content. this is an age old debate. the first time it got really big after i joined tumblr was around the time voltron 2016 came out, when people were being called pedos for shipping shiro and keith. it's gotten much worse since tiktok has become a thing. there are other people who have talked about this and explained it better than me, you can delve into the tags for "anti" or "anti anti" or "proship/antiship" or whatever it's called now.

but calling someone who ships, say, eren and levi in aot, a pedophile, is absolutely off the walls insane. first off, a loooot of people shipping age gap or adult/minor relationships are very likely to be minors themselves. secondly, it absolutely diminishes the meaning of the word. it's the same thing with incest. i've seen people say that shipping characters who are best friends is the same as incest. it's.......not. and you might think, well, yeah, that one's ridiculous, but the stuff that i'm arguing against are legitimate. and i get it. but like i said before, slippery slope. people equating someone's fictional interests to them as a person spells a very bad future for fandom.

i think a lot of this started when people were like "oh your ship is just the character you relate to and the character you have a crush on." and i'm begging people to realize that is not the case at all. a ship can be that, but it can also be "their color palettes compliment each other." it can be "they never interacted but i think they'd be interesting to see together." it can be "oh that makes a hot pair." it can be "oh this would make both characters miserable and i love it muwahahaha."

so just. please reserve the word pedophile for real-life-harming-children-and-minors pedophiles. not for people who write about fictional characters engaging in morally dubious or criminal acts. they are not the same level of crime. i think people need a reminder about why pedophilia is bad—it's because it harms children and minors, not because it disgusts us. and incest is an even more tricky subject when it comes to fiction so i'm not going to delve into it, but in the same vein, fictional incest ≠ actual incest.

i wish i had blogs to recommend that could explain this better, but you're better off just going through the tags (and anything you can find on fandom and specifically fanfic history) because my brain is super fried. and since i am not an expert i'd like to not answer more questions about this, i'm a bit too old and tired for the anti vs anti anti debate, thanks. i hope this helped 👍🏽

[operationslipperypuppet]

all prime numebrs for the fic writer ask! 💛😊

I will pretend you spelled numbers correctly lol. thanks for the ask!!

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!)

I want to say 12. I published 6, I’m currently working on 2 different ideas for the naddpod gift exchange so I’ve started both and will be making a full decision tonight or tomorrow (lmao), and then there are a couple I just decided to not publish and a couple I’m always working on but will never actually commit to finishing because I can’t come up with a satisfying ending.

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

That I can allow myself to do the things I want to do and go back and fix the other stuff later. I had previously only done this with a fic that included a bunch of time skips and that was why I wormed around the document but I did this with one fic that I consider my magnum opus and it worked. (I like to write dialogue more than scene descriptors so I wrote all the dialogue back and forth and then went back and added names and descriptors and everything else and it was so much more fun)

5. What fandom(s) did you write for this year?

Naddpod. It was just naddpod. I’m thinking I might break into d20 next year but I make no promises, naddpod is so fun to write for.

7. What character(s) captured your heart?

Hardwon Surefoot. Moonshine Cybin. For some reason I find them easiest to write even though getting Moonshine’s voice right was incredibly daunting every time I wrote her. There’s just so much to play with and it was very fun. Plus the Hardwon being alive reveal rewired my brain.

11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

how to think about you (without it ripping my heart out). God that was a doozy to write. It was my first foray into doing something multi-chaptered and I did have it finished before I even began publishing it but doing the daily updates and my every chapter mini edits took so much time that it was so much fun to finish. Plus I thought about the idea for truly so long before I started writing it that it was very relieving to finally finish.

13. What fic was the easiest to write?

Fools Rush In (Idiots, However, Take 200 Years). This is the fic I mentioned for number 3. I wrote all the dialogue in basically one pass because it’s a long, drawn out conversation that lasts an entire day. I immensely love writing dialogue and the back and forth, hitting what Hardwon and Moonshine would say and how they’d react was easy. And then, even though I was dreading the descriptors, they came so easily because I could picture them so perfectly. It does feel weird to say that my longest fic to date was the easiest to write but it was.

17. What are your go-to writing snacks?

Doing that classic ADHD thing where you hyperfocus and forget to eat all day and then start shaking and put fistfuls of m&ms in your mouth while waiting for chicken to heat up. But when I remember to snack, Smartfood popcorn.

19. Share your favorite opening line.

“You love me?” (Fools Rush In (Idiots, However, Take 200 Years).) I knew I’d open this with that before I finished the previous work in the series. I enjoy getting straight to the point.

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

This was a hard goddamn choice but here goes:

“Look - “ She paused, took a deep breath, and started again. “Can I make a suggestion? You two know him better than I do, obviously, but this might be a time where you give him some space. I know that’s not really what you three do, but he’s going through one of the worst days of his life. And you are, too, but he’s incredibly in his head about it right now. I think maybe if you give him a moment to work out his own feelings, he’ll be able to articulate them to you. And you will then be able to assure him that you need him. Besides, your MeeMaw will take great care of him, Moonshine.” (The Void of an Absence)

Alanis is speaking here. And I wanted her to be pragmatic without seeming insensitive while also staying relatively true to the character she is in the show. I ended up with this slightly more emotionally aware Alanis than we’ve seen but she does switch straight to business afterwards, and that is kind of how Murph RP’d the scene with her and Hardwon. But I overthought it a lot. I’m pretty okay with its final version, but mostly because I got to sneak a “tell me your feelings and I’ll tell you that I need you” reference in there.

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

Obviously the two crew for creating characters that so thoroughly destroy and entertain me, and the people who got excited when I said shit like “I have a terrible idea that’s going to hurt” and responded with “do it.”

Fic writer asks list - ask

[vacantgodling]

Trick or treat!!! - @magic-is-something-we-create

hey pax :’) you have received a treat!

it took me a bit to figure out what to show, but i mentioned tcol earlier so let’s go down that route :) i’ve been trying to plan out the actual Novel Writing for tcol for ages but i haven’t gotten very far, despite the fact that i know the plot beats like the back of my own hand since they changed very little since i first made these characters at 12… the world’s just gotten more depth and i’ve become a better writer lol. but the plot ITSELF hasn’t changed too much so idk why it’s so difficult. anyway: i have the outline for the first two chapters written out so i will treat you with them under the cut: (sorry in advance they’re long)

CHAPTER 1

PIPER FAIRWIND, SIR KEEVAN GUERRA, and SAITH PRALINE discuss how piper’s finally passed her guild aptitude test and now she’s waiting to be chosen to join a guild during the guild bid.

keevan reminds her that she could always forgo guilds and fast-track to knight training so she could spend more time with the two of them, however saith reminds him that bc pipes doesn’t have a prominent background she’ll need to establish herself in guilds before she’ll be considered/able to apply for knight training.

keevan however, insists he can put in a good word for her (the two of them flirt a little as they do of “oh you don’t have to do anything for me i’m not a damsel” and he’s like :DDDD ily tho).

as they’re walking through EASTHOLLOW they run into LORD KIBA LATHSBURY, son of the grand duke of lathsbury and its immediately noted that he and piper look a LOT alike. the two are formally introduced and they take an immediate shine to each other.

when asked what he’s doing in easthollow he excitedly tells the three of them that he’s waiting for his last friend to pass her aptitude test so they can all enter the guilds together.

from the shadows/crowd a voice begins to chide that’s childish. LADY ILLIANA AEGOS joins their small group and piper immediately dislikes her and vice versa. when pipes asks why she’s even in easthollow if she has such a hatred for guilds, she informs them that she has news from DUCHESS PRIMROSE AEGOS (her mother, kiba’s stepmother) that keevan is required back in lathsbury and that his current teaching arrangements will be ending. she bats her eyes at him and he’s polite towards her making pipes even more annoyed. a different guard approaches illiana and kiba with some royal bs and the two of them go off leaving pipes with saith and keevan.

keevan says he’ll need to discuss this sudden news with the heads of easthollow but promises that he will try to stay long enough to see piper get selected through the guild bid, having full confidence that she will be chosen within a few days.

this leaves saith and piper and she’s royally irritated at this turn of events (saith, teasing her about why that is and she tells him to playfully can it) and saith suggests that they spar so she can blow off some steam. the two head to the training arena, passing those in varying styles of dress and saith points out some of the different classes to piper and gives a very loose overview of what kinds of people she could potentially be working with are. pipes asks if saith has worked with these types of people before and he admits he hasn’t worked with anyone other than other knights closely, especially due to his background. however, he encourages her and tells her how envious he is that she has a chance for the guilds; the labyrinth is difficult but rewarding, and hones your skills in ways that are hard to fathom and imagine to those who have never experienced it before. saith makes pipes promise him stories for when she finally enters guilds.

in the arena its shown that pipes is a skilled but reckless axe weilder, an unusual weapon choice for her especially since she grew up in KINGSBURROW, an area known for its mines and less for its forests.

sensing pipes getting the upperhand, saith uses magic (VIS) to parry her, and piper protests.

saith only laughs and says he’s only good with defensive magic, and she’ll have to get used to battling “overpowered” foes if she’s really going to swing this labyrinth thing. maybe in time, her own magical aptitude will improve and she’ll move from nmba to a mba (*explain what those are*). she scoffs and says she doesn’t need any fancy maneuvers to lay him flat, and they keep sparring.

CHAPTER 2

the final section of the medic examination is beginning and CLEAR BRIGHTENDALE is more nervous than most. he had passed with flying colors through the written examination, and did decently well among the SUBORTUS trials (his most preferred method of healing), but the SANA trials have him shaking in his boots.

each medic is to be tested one at a time in front of the collegiate medical council of easthollow to put their sana to the test and heal an injured creature with their sana application. how well they are able to heal the creature will determine their medic ranking, and that, combined with their scores from the other two trials, will determine their eligibility for the guild bid.

clear has been quiet for most of the trails, unable to really find it in himself to speak with the other medics as they talk and laugh and study with one another; he keeps reminding himself that he’s just here to pass—this is what he wanted to do and he would do it, just like he’d done everything else. a commotion startles him out of his thoughts as many of the medics he’s been around begin to leave the camp, and when he asks, he’s been informed that KARENZA HAWKINS is up for her sana trial and he should hurry if he wants a good seat. the other medic scurries off before he can ask them why this karenza person is so revered, but he resigns himself to take a look anyway.

at the observation hall, thousands of not only medics, but other people from other parts of easthollow were in the observation wing. clear manages to snag a spot near what appears to be a young couple, not necessarily paying attention to what’s going on in the observation.

clear, awkwardly asks if they know why this is such a huge spectacle. he learns that the two he’s speaking with are MOIRA DEARBORN and JAGODA ARTHEA, and surprisingly, are close friends of the medic about to be trialed. moira does most of the talking, and after getting clear’s name, she remarks that she’s surprised he’s never heard of her since she’s one of the strongest medics on record right now. clear raises an eyebrow and sneaks closer (in a way very unmedic like) to really get a good look at what’s going on.

when the trial finally begins, karenza introduces herself to the collegiate and is presented with the corpse of a dead animal. clear gasps softly, and murmurs around him speak about how this is quite a lot for a first trail and “no worries! this is hawkins! she created this technique! we’re so lucky to see it up close!” a great gust of wind blows through the arena and the observation deck and through a barrage of smoke and movement, clear notices green wings emerge from karenza’s back. once everything settles, the creature is back to life. the crowd goes wild and clear is in awe of an obvious master of the field. and while, he knows he’ll never be able to get to that point of literally reviving the dead, he does want to become a stronger medic.

after people begin to file out of the observation room, giving karenza their congratulations, praise and awe. clear hangs back to see if he can speak with her for a moment, seamlessly blending into the shadows (which is also suspicious for a medic). he notices that when people finally file out that the couple from earlier- moira and jagoda -approach her, followed by another person wearing an eyepatch. they all seem close, though clear cannot make out what they’re saying. the three of them whisk karenza away with laughter and high spirits. after returning to his tent, clear resolves to try and send a letter to karenza instead to see if he can ask her a few questions about her prolific success or to just tell her how awed he was. it feels too awkward so after he writes the letter, he crumples it up and tosses it away. a guard summons him for his test and clear goes, palms sweating

[ikatako38]

Time for a big announcement

(For real this time, please read all the way through)

Hey everyone! Time for a somewhat big announcement. It’s not exactly a fun announcement, but it’s probably something you’ve seen coming (and something I should’ve done a while ago).

With everything going on in my life recently, TPWCH is abandoning a regular upload schedule altogether.

To be clear, TPWCH is not canceled, or going anywhere. What this does mean is that chapters will come out whenever I get around to finishing them, and there won’t be a set schedule. You can probably expect chapters somewhere between one and three months apart. This also means that TPWCH will not be finishing anywhere near the projected timeline; in fact, we probably still have about a year more to go at this point.

A lot of things have affected this decision, but the biggest reason is probably not exactly what you’d expect.

Basically… I have friends now.

Last school year was in many ways a really fun time in my life, but it’s also the most lonely I’ve ever been. I didn’t have any friends irl, and as much as I didn’t want to live with my family, I still felt their absence too. My Discord server members, Tumblr followers, and AO3 commenters were all I really had at the time, and you’re all so important to me. You all helped me through a really lonely time in my life, more than any of you could know. So thank you for that, and thank you so much for sticking around even when I haven’t been uploading, because like I said you all matter a lot to me.

But this year, I feel like I suddenly found my place. I have two great irl friends and I’m dating someone who’s my whole world right now.* I really feel like I’ve found my Eight. (Or maybe Three, he’s a bit of both.) Just like Three and Eight, it’s not always perfect, but I still want to spend every second with him I can… especially since there’s a very real possibility that my time with him may have an expiration date.

TPWCH will always be here for me when I’m ready, but I don’t want to miss out on the fleeting moments of life. You can think of it as me going out into the field to gather experience so I can come back a better, fluffier writer. :3

Still, my promise remains that, no matter what, even if I’m in an elderly home and have to dictate it to my caretakers, I will finish TPWCH! (I’m sure it won’t take that long though, lol)

I really hope I can get back to providing regularly scheduled content soon, but until then I appreciate everyone’s continued support so much!!!

I'm happy to answer any questions you may have, just drop them in the replies here or in an ask!

~

*He's basically my boyfriend, but he doesn't want to make it official yet and I'm trying to be good about respecting that. So as annoying as it is, we're just referring to him as "person who Tako is dating"

[dfortrafalgar]

https://youtube.com/shorts/sdhneLjlTTE?si=uyIWMeysHWr3Q8QD

Seeing this and thinking about your fic just has me going like: 🥲🙃

I cannot imagine her doing anything like that in panic of something happening…

Yes I did in fact just think about your very well done angst fic while scrolling

Oh and I saw you said your writing was bringing you turmoil. Please be sure to rest if it gets really bad. You know what’s going on better than any of us do. So while I’m here like: maybe it would be best to get it all out and then rest so that way it’s just done and over with, don’t hurt yourself in the process for our sakes.

Take care darling. You’re doing fabulous ✨

god damn that woman is POWERFUL im fatigued just on my period let alone PREGNANT LOL

(for anyone who might not want to go to the link, its a video of a woman who dances for a living seeing how long she can go hiding her pregnancy!)

i am honored that you were thinking about my fic while scrolling tho honestly 😭😭😭 that is always the highest honor!!!!

haha and thank you for your concern! i promise im doing fine, i think a part of me has just been kinda shocked at the reception this fic has had and how much i've actually enjoyed writing it and researching for it and really digging through my own experiences for it, despite, admittedly, not being a writer lol. i know my constant updates might make it seem like i'm a writer, but i'm typically not, i'm used to other forms of art! so again, that plus all the deep emotions this fic has invoked and the immense positive reception it has gotten has just made me so emotional!!!! and i really really thank yall for that <333

[shantechni]

How did you feel about 03 Karai? It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a full episode, but I’ll always remember being annoyed at her never ending loyalty to Ch’rell Shredder no matter how many times his dishonorable evil is on full display

“Father, this isn’t honorable!”

“Idc, shut up and get in line.”

“Okay, but I’m gonna kinda help the turtles behind your back.”

“See how bad Shredder is? Will you join us?”

“Yeah but he’s my dad tho, so I’m not sure, I gotta think it over.”

and REPEAT!

I have a lot of annoyances with the '03 series that solely stem from the villains, and Karai is one of the worst offenders. I have yet to indulge in everything Karai appears in, but I'm already positive no Karai will be worse than '03 Karai, and '12 Karai is such a breath of fresh air after her.

They're both daughters to the Shredder and pride themselves on being honorable, but at least '12 Karai isn't extremely hypocritical and is actually aware enough to recognize when something's up.

If the '03 writers just wanted her to continue being a villain the entire time, they could've done something so much better than giving us an orphan girl who's supposed to be a critical thinker and highly skilled ninja, but doesn't have the wherewithal to pick a side because her adopted father adopted her. She wasn't even brainwashed or carefully kept away from the Shredder's wrongdoings, she's just legitimately that gullible. And there's no satisfaction in her brief alliance with the turtles because she goes right behind their back to revive the Shredder after promising a truce, and she has the audacity to get upset when the Shredder plans to break that truce. It's so stupid.

She talks about honor almost every episode she's in but there ain't a single thing honorable about her lol.