#i promise promise promise i will only play for a lil bit then i gotta get ahead on my reading list i need the hardest book done 1st

[yanverse]

Good Morning - Morgan Lane

plot: morgan doesn't want you to go to work <3

(cws: gn! darling, lazy sex, anal, unprotected, fingering, dirty talk, begging, quickie, lil jealousy factor, slight size difference, established relationship)

word count: 2.1k

It was the sun rays peeking through the curtains that had first woken you up, but the rumbling of Morgan's light snores against your back was the second. He had passed out on top of you, holding you like a teddy bear in his sleep, and although he was soft it didn't mean he wasn't strong enough to keep you there. Morgan had always been a big guy, and without some decent leverage or just a convincing argument for him to let you up, you'd watch the minutes on the alarm clock pass by on his bedside until you were late.

“Gotta go to work, baby.” You tried to wiggle out from under him, but Morgan's hefty frame kept you pinned, as did his thick arms around your waist. He whined and mumbled something incoherent into your hair, though it was clear enough that he wasn't intent on letting you leave the bed. “Morgan, c'mon. Can't be late again.”

“Yes you can.” He huffed softly into your ear as he shifted around, finally pulling his head up to reach it so you could hear his sweet, hoarse voice, and feel his chapped lips press kisses to your jaw. You both were a bit raspy from the night before, but from the way your boyfriend had exerted himself he was a lot worse off than you were. Your scalp was sore, your back ached, but aside from that and a smattering of bruises all across your body you at least had some energy to spare. Morgan might as well have been dead weight on top of you–well, except for one not-so-small part that was a bit more excited.

“Morgan.” You warned with a stern tone. He rubbed lazy circles into your hip, the spot where your underwear didn't quite reach and it was just bare, smooth skin.

“‘m not doing anything.” He shifted his hips, but the distinct stiffness digging into your thigh didn't let up. It only moved to align more with your cheeks as he ground it gently against you.

“Yes you are.”

“No ‘m not.”

“Yes you are, Morgan Lane.”

“Can't help it.” Morgan finally moaned, his breath a flutter of air as his hips stuttered. As much as you used it to be firm with him, you knew good and well how much he liked it when you pulled out the “government name” as he called it. Probably just because he really liked bugging you. “Feels so nice…I bet you look so pretty.”

“I need to go to work.”

“Work can go to hell,” He panted, moving up all of a sudden to sit up on his knees. “I'm sick of missing time with you.” The calluses on his huge, warm hands rubbed against your skin as he lifted your shirt up, and squeezed soft handfuls of your ass in his palms as he started playing with it. Your butt had such a hold on him that it drove you crazy, you'd rarely seen such an ass man in your life–although maybe that was in part because he had to feel it to see it, or maybe just because your boyfriend was a deplorable freak in bed.

“Morgan-”

“Pleeeease,” He begged selfishly. “Please, baby, I'll be so good if you give it to me. Promise! I want you so bad…I can't survive the day without a part of you with me..” He put on that false, whiney tone while his whimpers hit your ears like a weak spot and the low, soft rasp of his voice sent tingles down your spine. Morgan knew exactly what he was doing as he groped you, there was no playing innocent with him.

You felt him tug on the waist of your underwear–not enough to yank it down, just to plead silently with you for permission–and just like you always ended up doing, you let out a sigh and a “be quick, then” and he grinned into a kiss on the back of your neck.

“Ultra-speed service, I promise.” He chuckled, tugging the fabric down to your knees.

“That's not something to brag about.” You rolled your eyes, but Morgan had his tongue on your thigh in seconds and you just sort of forgot about it. He liked the tease of inching up closer and closer to your sex, sometimes he'd start at your knees or he'd even kiss his way up from your calves if he had the time. This morning it was quick though, and he spread your cheeks apart with little ceremony as he sucked his two fingers into his mouth. Slowly, he eased the tips of them against your tight rim, but chuckled hoarsely when he felt them wiggle in with more immediate acceptance than he anticipated.

“You like it, huh?”

“Don't start.” You warned, but your tone was undeniably cheeky. You could only hide your small, prideful smile by burying your face in his pillow.

Morgan inched his fingers deeper, taking time not to strain you but keeping a steady pace to make sure he didn't make you too late. You'd already be limping into work anyways with how hard his cock was as it stirred in his boxers.

“Always knew you were fuckin’ dirty.” He murmured under his breath, and when he took that tone with you your legs buckled and started shaking with the intensity of your moans. Morgan liked talking dirty but he always had some anxiety that you didn't, so it was rare that he'd let it go completely and just say whatever came to mind. But he had no idea just how hot it was and how good he was at it, especially with his voice all low and raspy from a night of sleep. God knows how you did any work around him when he was sick. “You like it back here, huh? You like getting your ass played with?”

“Morgan-” You cried out, but only finished with a squeal as he brought his palm down on your behind. He could leave welts if he really tried, but usually some swelling and a bit of soreness was the norm. If you were good, that was.

“Want your coworkers to find out you like this?” He muttered as he straddled himself over you, your thighs pinned to the bed as you listened to the shlick of him freeing his cock and stroking it into readiness. He spit into his palm to work some slickness into it, but obviously realized that wasn't enough as you caught his hand in your peripheral reaching to the nightstand to crack open your bottle of lube. A bit of patting around led him right to it. “Bet they'd think you're a whore. Wouldn't they?” You listened to the squirt of fluid splashing into his hand. With your nails digging into the sheets and gripping them shakily, you nodded into the pillow.

“Good.” He huffed, guiding his sticky, slick tip between your cheeks to nestle in against that tight, rough spot. “Then they'll know I fuck you too good to take you away from me.”

“Morgan–nngh-!” A squeal erupted from your lips, not quite caught by your hands as you clapped them over your mouth, as the bed suddenly dipped and pressure spread you open in an instant. Morgan gasped himself as he slid in too quickly and paused with just the tip inside, his hands planted on either side of your head to grip the sheets in earnest.

“Oh my god, oh my…fffuuck sorry, shit, didn’ mean to–” Your walls pulsed around him and he froze, but his lungs seized to push out an airy moan that was so high you weren't sure he could ever copy it. “Ooohh, honey, are you looking at me? No, right?” He gasped out like he'd just been holding his breath. His hand slid over to thread through your hair, and he felt you shake your head with your face in the pillows. “Mmnh…okay, I got a good picture in my head. Jesus-” Morgan thrusted forwards, burying himself entirely in that impossibly tight space, and his grip on your hair jolted pain through you as he yanked it back. “-fucking christ! Shh-hit-”

It wasn't abnormal for Morgan to get a little lost in the thick of it when he was getting off, but things only grew more intense the longer you spent together. Somehow the honeymoon phase wasn't just a phase, but more like a transitional period; with every mundane effort Morgan got more sensitive to you, he liked you more, he was satisfied easier. You weren't sure what it was about him or you or both of you as a couple, but it seemed like every time you came together your boyfriend grew more attached to you. In fact, it felt like he nearly wanted to be a part of you–especially once he hit a good rhythm, and bucked his hips down with the aim of getting as deep into you as he could possibly manage.

“Feel it in your belly? Yeah?” He moaned from behind, lips flush to the back of your neck. “Ohhh, fuck, fuck–”

“M-Morgan-!” You spluttered out, having finally found your voice. You hissed at him to quiet down, to not wake up your neighbours so early in the morning, but he only bit down on your shoulder and his cries still thrummed muffledly throughout the apartment. You'd just have to accept your fate at this point. Morgan snaked a hand around your waist and pressed his huge, warm palm to your belly. The sensation of him sheathed inside you, whether imagined or really felt, had his hips pinned to your backside as he barely pulled back out to thrust. Every shlick, shluck, shluck vibrated through your body as he let your sweet walls suck him in closer.

His fingertips grazed your scalp to remind you he was there, to ensure his grip on you wasn't forgotten as he rutted against you with moans wasted against your skin. I love you, I love you, I love you. Those words would be his if his teeth weren't sunk into your flesh as he grunted them, humping feverishly to claim that end he wanted so badly. Morgan pitched you forward further into the blankets, weight pinning you completely under him; and with your nails dug into the crisp sheets you'd just washed this week, you felt a cord inside you snap with need that awashed you, suddenly, with an all-encompassing sense of bliss to block out the ache of Morgan's depth. He shuddered, stilled, and your woeful spasming rendered him utterly speechless–he stiffened and blew out each burst of love he'd kept locked up, and only as he did so did he finally melt into your sweat-soaked back like his bones had turned to jelly. His teeth finally unlatched as he shivered out a deep sigh, a kiss placed to your broken skin before he laid his cheek to your spine and puffed out each low, laborious breath in time with your heartbeat.

As the peace slowly returned, your high coming down with relative ease, you shifted slightly only to feel a dribble of hot, sticky warmth pulse downwards. Like glue, it stuck the two of you together, but you nudged at Morgan to move himself apart so you could clean up from the aftermath. For once, he agreed without complaint and slid off of your tired body to roll over on his back beside you. The expression on his face could be described as nothing less than complete, serene bliss as he caught his breath, one of those huge hands perched on his chest.

“See?” He panted, eyes blankly staring up at the ceiling. “Super…fast.”

“You made a mess,” You hushed dryly, slipping out of his loose grip on your thigh to head into his bathroom. You wobbled, caught yourself on the nightstand, and although he called out in worry if you were okay, you certainly were. A bit of stumbling was nothing new when Morgan and the bedroom were involved. “I'm taking a shower.”

“Me too?” His face lit up, he heaved himself up on one elbow to face the bathroom door, and before you could stop him with an absolutely not, you mongrel he was already feeling his way along the wall to slip inside. Joining you would almost certainly lead to something even messier, but…it was Morgan. That boyish charm, messy curls, bright, freckled smile as he patted your face and lifted it up to kiss it–the soft rasp of his voice as he let you know how good you were, how nice you felt, how beautiful he knew you were, the hand on your lower back as he steadied you and nudged the dial to spray a hail of fresh, warm water to soothe your aches…and how could you ever, ever say no to that?

[panb1mbo]

ok ok ok i'm gonna go cross some animals B)

[buckyalpine]

40's baby Bucky & baby Reader, Present Bucky x Reader, all the flufff, a lil angst but it just adds to the fluff, promise

Bucky sat under the tree with a very prominent pout on his chubby face, his arms crossed against his chest with his brows pulled together. He wasn't happy. Not one bit. Not after his favorite ball was kicked over a fence by the other neighborhood boys.

"Bucky, do you want to play with me?" You toddled over to your best friend hoping to lift his spirits after seeing him so grumpy only to be met with a huff.

"No! Go play with Stevie instead. Leave me alone!" He frowned, brushing you off and turning his back at you to sulk facing the tree instead.

"But-

"I don't want to play with you" Bucky grumbled. Your bottom lip wobbled, dropping your shoulders as you walked off and sat by yourself under some shade on your porch. You didn't have many friends being the youngest and only little girl on your street; Bucky and Steve being the only two who included you in their games.

"Bucky's mean" You picked up one of your dolls, setting her up beside you while you toyed with a wild flowers, doing your best to keep from sniffling after he shooed you away. You knew he was upset but you wanted to make him feel better!

Of course it didn't take long for Bucky to feel bad, peeking over to see your fallen face sitting all alone on the steps of your house, eyes wet with tears which you were desperately blinking back. He got a bad feeling in his little pudgy belly, knowing he wasn't very nice to you. He knew his ma wouldn't be very happy if she heard how he'd spoken to you, especially after you were just trying to brighten his mood. He got up from his place on the grass, nicking a few flowers from his garden before shuffling over to you only to be met with your now grumpy face, crossing your arms and turning away just like he did.

"I'm sorry y/n" Bucky came and plopped beside you, moving the doll away, while clutching onto a few pink tulips. You didn't respond, still mad at him for being mean to you when you'd done nothing wrong. "C'mon jellybean, pwease?"

His baby blues were shining bright as he gave you his best puppy eyes, hoping you'd forgive him. You felt a giddy at the name he called you, one he'd given you because he thought you were sweet like one. You turned to face him while he gave you a shy little smile, placing the flowers onto your lap.

"I brought you flowers" He stated proudly, happy at the giggle you let out, setting them aside before tugging at his hand to run off and play.

-

"Y'promise you'll come back?" your eyes were wet with tears again although you were now 20 years older and the chubby boy you grew up with had grown into a very handsome soldier. He stood before you in his clean and pressed uniform, his face shaven, hair neatly cropped.

"Of course doll" He whispered affectionately, letting his thumbs swipe across your cheeks, kissing away the tears that fell. "I'll always come back to you jellybean"

"You better" You sniffled, standing on your toes to chase more of his lips as he pressed them to yours, his hands wrapping around your waist, picking you up with ease.

"M'gonna come right back to you, safe n'sound" He held you for as long as he could, rocking you close to his chest while you fought back a sob, giving him a brave smile instead.

"I love you Jamie"

"I love you jellybean"

That was the last time you saw him.

-

"This is a bad idea"

"When have I ever had a bad idea" Tony scoffed, continuing to tinker with his quantum portal while Bruce looked over numbers.

"It's not stable enough Tony, if we send someone through this, they could get stuck in an alternate timeline or we could end up changing the future-

"Yea, yea, stop worrying, hand me that spanner"

Bruce sighed, handing over the tool while contemplating on the safest way to test the machine. It wasn't ready to handle anyone actually travelling through time but at the very least they could potentially open portals to the past.

"We gotta put in a location to see if this works-how about-" Tony contemplated on a location, his eyes growing wide with excitement when he spotted Steve's diary that he'd left behind in the lab, "Let's see if Captain has any interesting places from the 40's"

"Why wouldn't you just see if we could get to the compound garden" Bruce groaned while Tony flipped through the pages, typing in an address that had been scribbled in. It was from a list of places Steve wanted to visit again from when he was a child, the address of the person listed under friends. There was only one other person listed there other than Bucky.

"Alright, call the others, let's see if this baby works"

"You're going to get us all killed" Bruce shook his head while calling for everyone to come to the lab. By now everyone was used to Tony's antics; the only one who was genuinely giddy with excitement was surprisingly Bucky. One thing he'd always loved was science; even his stoic expression couldn't hide the twinkle in his eye every time he got to see another Stark experiment.

"Glad you all made it. Now, thanks to Cap, we're going to see if we can open a portal that travels back to the 1940's. I suggest you all stand back since I haven't actually tested this before"

"Why are you like this" Nat snorted while Tony waved her off, pushing a few more buttons before hitting start. Bucky watched from the safe sidelines of the lab as the machine began to vibrate, a low buzz growing louder until a portal roared to life that lead to the inside of someone's home. Bucky and Steve were both stunned from shock seeing a flash of a very familiar living room for no longer than a second before the whole thing closed with a bang and a large puff of smoke in its place.

"Well done Mr. Playboy billionaire dumbass" Sam wheezed while the team was left coughing, the room cloudy as the loud buzz began to dull. "What was the location you even put in-

Sam stopped talking midway when he heard another voice coughing followed by mumbling coming from the place where the portal closed. The smoke hadn't yet dissipated but the shadow of a person was slowly becoming visible. Everyone froze when they realized there was someone on the platform, wondering who could've been sucked through.

"Bruce, turn on the fan-" Bruce hit the lab fan which pulled helped with the smoke revealing a young woman in a flower printed dress. An apron was still tied around her waist, flour streaked across her cheeks, a rolling pin still in her hand. "What the-

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES"

Bucky thought he was going to collapse as soon as he saw who was on the platform, his heart fluttering madly in his chest. He couldn't control the blush that crept up on his cheeks, butterflies bursting in his tummy, just as they did all those years ago. The young woman stormed up to the soldier, face full of fury as her palm smacked his cheek (Not hard enough to actually hurt him of course).

"HOW DARE YOU"

Everyone else in the lab silently congregated to one side watching curiously though Steve was still utterly frozen seeing-

"Y-y/n? Doll?"

"Don't you doll me" you whacked his arm with your rolling pin, huffing when it clanged back after hitting metal. That didn't seem to faze you as you switched and hit the other arm instead, making Bucky yelp. "You lied!"

You dropped your makeshift weapon to the floor, moving your hands to your hips instead, looking up and down at the man you loved with your entire heart, the man who you mourned for years after you were told he was dead. He looked much different from when you'd last seen him, the most obvious difference being an entirely new arm. His cheeks were scruffy and it was clear some form of time travel had taken place but none of that mattered. None of that mattered when the love of your life was standing right there, alive and well.

"Oh baby, no-

"Absolutely not Barnes" you huffed at the pet name he gave you, crossing your arms over your chest and Bucky thought he'd melt into an absolute puddle at the sight. He was thrown back to when you were both no more than 4 years old, with a cute little frown on your face whenever you'd get upset. "You left! I thought you-I thought you died!"

The sound of your voice cracking broke Bucky's heart, his hands itching to wrap you up and pull you close to his chest the way you loved. He could see your eyes twinkle with tears threatening to spill out while you rapidly tried to blink them away. You chewed on your bottom lip to keep from wobbling and it only made Bucky yearn to hold you and never let go.

"Sweetheart please, I didn't mean to leave you doll, I promise" He stepped closer to you, hesitantly reaching out to take your hand in his, not feeling the slightest bit conscious about his metal arm. The coolness of his hand calmed your racing heart while you sniffled, still refusing to meet his eyes as you stared down at your feet instead.

The day you'd been told he'd never come back had been the worst day of your life. You wept for months on end, losing the man you were waiting to marry. The only person you'd been in love with since you were 4 years old.

Seeing you standing there before him stirred feelings in Bucky h never thought he'd feel again. Having a home. A beautiful wife. Little chubby babies. All with his dream girl he'd loved all his life. There wasn't a day that had gone by where he didn't think about her. He didn't think he'd ever get the chance again but here you were, dusted in flour like you always were whenever you were in the kitchen, in a pretty dress he loved so much, fighting your cries after desperately missing him. He softly cupped your cheeks, swiping away at your tears, his forehead coming down to softly rest against yours. He smiled through watery eyes at your stubborn nature, still keeping your arms crossed while his nose bumped with yours.

"Jellybean" Bucky whispered, your heart melting at the name, swallowing the lump in your throat, "Please? I-I'll- I'll bring you flowers" He said with a shaky voice, nearly toppling over when you flung yourself into his arms. He caught you, squeezing you right back and lifting you off the floor to cradle you nice and tight before pulling back to smash his lips against yours. The collective sniffles and whistles from the team were drowned out by your soft giggles and warm lips.

"I missed you so much" you buried your face into the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of him, the one that comforted yo the most.

"You have no idea how much I missed you jellybean, never letting you go again"

"Terminator, you wanna introduce us?" Tony was the first to speak up, not so subtly wiping away at his eyes while Bucky continued to look at you with heard eyes, introducing you to everyone. You could only wrap your head around so much at a time but nothing truly mattered now that you were back with your soldier.

And of course your other best friend.

"Steve" You giggled as Steve lifted you up with ease into a tight hug, grinning at his two friends finally getting the life they deserved together.

Seriously imagine how sickeningly cute these two would be. Bucky is so excited to teach you all about the future. He gets to show you how to use all the new technology around the compound. He's so naughty about it too, teasingly telling you he'd be happy to help you in the shower if there's any questions you has about water temperature.

He doesn't waste any time with asking to marry you. Its everything you've ever dreamed of and more considering Tony took the bill and ran. Bucky can't put into words how happy he is finally getting the life he thought was ripped from his hands.

On your wedding night, Bucky spends hours loving on you like there's no tomorrow which is why a few months later, your belly is swollen with your first baby. Bucky is thankful for the future because as excited as he is to start a family, he's scared shitless something could happen to his jellybean.

"Bucky, I'm fine-

"Absolutely not, why are you up Jellybean, go sit down, I'll bring breakfast to you"

"I can still walk y'know-

"Nope. You stay right there, don't move mama, just rest"

When you do have to move around, he's there holding your baby bump, feeling giddy over becoming a dad. He can't wait to meet his little baby that he's made with his dream girl.

After his son is born, he waits for your body to heal but no ones surprised to see you with a new bump not too long after.

Two baby boys are no match for all the avengers but they all happily share their god father and god mother duties.

Your third is a little girl and she's going to be spoiled by everyone.

Somewhere along the way, you get a white fluffy cat.

Bucky's life has never been better.

[moodywyrm]

any input on college!abby taking bookworm!readers virginity? 🎤

so many thoughts. actually. thanks anon now im thinking.

so im pulling on college!abby in the two fics I've officially made for this pairing. aka. she's dorky, not super good at being forward with u, a munch, the works. at this point, u two have been dating for a while (it took fucking forever), n u confessed to her that ur a virgin after staying super late at her place n cuddling but like super intimate almost fucking-cuddling.

n she's like, 'that's okay baby, we don't have to do anything', but on the inside she's freaking out because she likes you so so much n she wants you more than she's ever wanted anyone, but she's terrified of fucking this up. she wants u to have the best first time ever, she wants to give u the world.

n u turn to her like, 'well I'm saying this now bc, I think I want to. I want u to be my first, now, if u want to,' n she's like yeah fuck yeah baby pls yes. so she rolls u two over, laying u down onto her bed n placing one hand near ur head while the other grips ur waist, n she leans down n kisses u. n this time it's just a lil bit different, still passionate, but with the promise of something more. she kisses u breathless, n ur letting out the quietest, barely there whimpers, reaching up and holding her biceps.

now, abby is never gonna be a one n done typa girl. she wants u shaking, satiated, n slutted out by the time she's done with u, but this is ur first time. so she's gotta take it slow. she starts with grinding u against her thigh, getting u used to being intimate with another person. then she moves to her mouth (spends so much time between ur legs that by the time she's done ur shaking like a leaf) n her fingers, stretching u open until she deems u ready. it takes hours, bc she's going so slow it's torturous, but the way she plays with ur body makes u feel like a livewire, raring n ready to go, even after four orgasms.

when she finally, finally deems u ready for her, she goes to her closet and pulls out a harness n three straps, brand new in box, that she bought way in advance just for u. all black, although one is shimmery n one is slightly translucent. different sizes. she helps u sit up, sitting behind u n present u with ur options, asking which one u want to use. u go for the medium one (the glittery one), practically trembling just thinking about it attached to her, sliding in n out of u.

abby, pretty baby angel with her hair down n no clothes, puts on the strap n lays u back down, kissing ur forehead while she adjusts u two to line up. she pulls ur hips up to rest on her thighs, rubbing her hands up n down ur thighs n waist to soothe you. slowly, she pushes in, n by now she's prepped u so thoroughly that the sting lasts only a few seconds n after that it's just fucking heaven. she gives u a moment to adjust, before slowly plunging in n out, grinding the strap into u, adjusting ur hips here n there before she here's u gasp n cling to her, tightening so much that the strap can barely move. she'd been hitting ur spot with her fingers, but this felt different, good, but different. the blunt, grinding motion of the strap against that gushy lil spot made u quake n whine for her, grabbing for her n pulling her down to kiss u. this position also caused the base of the strap to hit her clit even more, n at this point she was so pent up after watching u fall apart for her that her climax was approaching so fast. u two stayed that way, grinding n whining, abby occasionally pulling back to thrust into u, before ur breathing picked up n u scrambled for purchase on her body, spasming around her strap with the prettiest moans she's ever heard. ur orgasm is fading but ur still whining n she's grinding n grinding n grinding until she lets out the most guttural groan into ur ear, followed by the sweetest lil whimper, cumming so hard she whites out for a second.

u two stay like that for a while, trying to steady ur breathing, n just holding each other. eventually, abby has to pull out n she soothes u as u whimper from the loss. her aftercare btw? top fucking notch, cleans u up, showers with u to get everything off, literally props u up bc ur legs are fucking jelly, rubs lotion onto u, massages ur sore hips, dressing u in her comfort clothes n drying ur hair before carrying u to bed n giving u soft lil kisses n reassurances n cuddles until u both drift off into the best sleep you've had in a while.

yeah. I have some thoughts.

[lovelettersfromluna]

✰20 Something✰

{Ellie Williams x Reader}

Summary: How you ain’t say you was movin’ forward? Honesty hurts when you’re gettin’ older, I gotta say I’ll miss the way you need me.

an: first things first, yes it’s based off of the sza song, yes this is going to be very angsty, and yes I purposefully used the lyrics of the song to leave a bit of mystery for the summary hehe. But anyways! Here’s the second part of Blossom! This one is pretty short, and the ending is a bit abrupt, but that’s only because I have plans for the next part!! I hope you enjoy angels. Mwah mwah 🖤🖤

Warnings: angst!! Ellie is an idiot in this one I’m sorry, Joel being a dad figure to reader, alcohol usage, reader gets a lil drunk, jealous!reader, let me know if I missed anything pleaseeee (not proofread)

You can read part 1 here!

Tag list: @gold-dustwomxn @liabadoobee @uraesthete @heathermuahhh

For the first time in five years, your bed is warm.

And that doesn’t go to say you never had a warm body filling up the empty spot next to you in your bed. There were many times where you’d fallen into bed with someone for a one night stand, or finally working up to the person you would be seeing at the time to sleeping over.

But that was all in the city, you hadn’t once given someone the opportunity to fill your bed in your current home. The home that you were sprouting your roots into, and creating a space that you’d call home forever.

That, and none of those people before warmed you up like Ellie did.

Ellie’s arms never leave yours within the night, they’re strong and they hold you tight against her chest even when she’s snoring softly in your ear. It’s almost as if she’s scared you’ll slip away somehow, like she’s worried if she doesn’t hold on tight enough, she’ll no longer be in this dream that she’s found herself in.

And you don’t mind, her warm embrace helps clear your head from the noisy thoughts that threaten to cloud your mind. Without her strong arms wrapped around your middle, and the dreamy smell of her shampoo and her cologne, you’d be panicking.

Panicking because none of this is okay, and you both know it.

It allows you to sleep, and enjoy her for the moment, because you know exactly what you’ll do when the sun rises.

You have it all planned out, playing out the scenario and what you’ll say in your head. It’s like you’ve written a script for yourself, one that you’ve closely analyzed and revised countless times between the heavy sedation of sleep and wake that finds you through the night. You continuously fall in and out because the foreign feeling of Ellie next to you is too apparent to ignore, and it makes itself even more known when you realize that it’s Ellie.

Despite it all, the sleep is good. It’s heavy, and comfortable and it’s like your bodies are tangled up within one another in the most perfect way, making your insides feel warm and fuzzy. You’re sure you’d be able to stay there with her till the end of time. You feel her wake up a few times as well, pressing gentle kisses at the nape of your neck, whispering sweet promises into your ear as her hands slip underneath your t shirt, toying with your soft skin and pulling you in closer.

Because she can’t get enough of you. She’s cursing herself on the inside because she can’t believe she’d almost forgotten how good you felt pressed up against her, how nice your supple skin felt spilling from between her fingers, how responsive your body was to her every kiss and touch.

So she feels she has some catching up to do, and she plans on roaming her fingers along every available space of your body. She wants to remember everything she’s ever experienced with you, all while making new memories as well.

And you can feel it, which makes it all the more harder to get out of bed the next morning.

The morning sun is warm and inviting, but it comes all too soon.

It takes everything in you to peel Ellie’s limbs from your body. You let out a sigh of relief when once you’re out of bed, she’s still fast asleep. You tilt your head to the side as you eye the girls sleeping form, she looks like her younger self when she sleeps. Her cheeks look fuller, and her lips look plumper. It reminds you of all the times you traced your fingers over her sleeping face when she’d fallen asleep in your bedroom when you were teenagers.

It reminds you of the face that wouldn’t even look in your direction when shoving a box into your arms.

And maybe you’re being petty, because it was something that happened so long ago and you both were so young. But it still hurts, and it doesn’t matter if it happened when you were both young, or if your relationship was doomed anyways.

Ellie did what she did, and no matter how many sweet things she said to you, she couldn’t take it back.

You sigh softly as you blink out of your trance, breaking away from the memories that you had been holding onto for so long. You need to get dressed, and you need to get downstairs before Ellie wakes.

You settle on a plane white t shirt, and a pair of your favorite denim shorts. They’re your moms from when she was younger, they remind you of when you were little.

Your feet pad against the wooden floor as you make your way downstairs. It’s still very early, and if Ellie is anything like the way she was when she was younger, you’ll be clear of her for at least another hour or so.

You settle on grabbing some fresh lemons from a near by bowl and making some lemonade to kill the time.

On the other end of your house, Ellie is groaning softly. She takes a moment to realize where it is that she is, the foreign bed making her feel extremely confused. Once her eyes have adjusted to the early morning light peeking in through your window, she immediately remember where she is.

Memories of the night before come flooding in, and she can’t stop the stupid smile that paints her face.

She’s blushing like an idiot, and she brings her strong hands up to her face as she groans softly. She’s just as fucking smitten for you as she was back when she was a teenager, and she can’t even deny it.

You, where were you?

The question runs rapid in her mind as she sits up, frowning a bit as she looks around. She isn’t too worried, seeing as she is in fact in your house. She knows you couldn’t have gone far, but the fact alone that she wasn’t able to wake up to you in her arms makes her upset.

From upstairs she can hear a bit of clattering downstairs in the kitchen, and she knows exactly where you are.

Ellie is up on her feet instantly, yawning as she scratches the back of her neck. She makes her way through your home, smiling softly at all the little trinkets you have set around on different shelves and tables.

But when she finally finds herself in your kitchen, and spots you, you’ve taken her breath away.

The window near your counter lets the warm glow of the sun hit you perfectly, sun rays shining through your hair and onto your pretty features. The song you’re humming softly is the sweetest melody she’s ever heard in her entire life, and your clothes are simple, but they’re making her fucking swoon.

It all feels so domestic, like she’s waking up to you, her girl, in the kitchen of your sweet home, and it’s enough to make her head spin.

It almost feels like nothings ever changed.

You’re too lost in your own thoughts as you slip a few more lemon slices into the pitcher before you bring your wooden spoon into it and stir it once more, finally happy with the drink. You don’t even hear Ellie when she’s approaching you from behind, strong hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you against her chest. You gasp softly, almost forgetting that the girl was in your house for a moment.

Your eyes flutter shut as you let her hold you. She’s lifting you up and into her body to the point that your toes almost leave the floor, her face pressing into your neck as she inhales the sweet scent of your shampoo.

She brings a hand up, pushing your hair back so she’s able to press soft kisses to your neck. The feeling of her lips against your skin makes you whine.

“Morning, blossom…” she hums. Her voice is raspy, and deep and still thick with sleep. It makes you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, tugging on it softly, and you can’t help but close your eyes and tilt your head to the side to give her better access to your neck, silently begging for more of her kisses.

It’s when you feel one of her strong hands slipping under your shirt and toying with the waist of your denim shorts that you open your eyes and quickly clear your throat, stepping away from her grip as you turn around.

You almost wish you’d stayed in her arms, because Ellie looks like a fucking dream right now.

Her hair is messy, and her eyes are puffy from sleep, lips pouting from the lack of you in her arms. Her t shirt is hanging loosely on her body, boxers low on her waist. She looks like something you would’ve assumed only existed within the depths of your fantasies, and nowhere in the real world.

Yet here she was, standing right in front of you, arms already reaching out and begging for you to be pressed against her.

You quickly step grab the pitcher of lemonade and hold it between the two of you, acting as a form of separation, one that would keep her away from you for at least a few seconds longer. You knew that it you let her hold you the way she did, or even come any closer, you’d fold.

“I um…thought you’d be thirsty…so I…made you some lemonade”

Ellie frowns as she watches you stutter, a habit that seemed to be the most present whenever you were nervous or hiding something. She could still recall the time when you and Joel were planning a surprise birthday party for her eighteenth, and she questioned you on why you’d been so absent for the past month or so. You were a babbling mess, avoiding eye contact, trying your best to get out of being in rooms alone with her, anything so that you could be free of the guilt that came with keeping something from her.

Just like you were now, babbling, eyes blinking rapidly as you looked everywhere but her eyes.

Her eyebrows are furrowed in confusion as she watches you for a moment longer, she opens her mouth to say something, but you’re already reaching behind her and grabbing two glasses and bringing them to your little kitchen table.

She watches you as you move, your focus now on the two glasses as you fill them up. She settles on leaving it alone for now, mainly because she’d like to just focus on you right now.

She moves to sit down at the table, but it doesn’t go without her hand sliding against your waist, her tattooed arm wrapping around it as she presses a kiss to your head. “You alright baby?” She mumbles against your hair, giving your skin a gentle squeeze before she moves to sit down, her green eyes never leaving your face as she takes her glass into hand.

It makes it feel like you’ll lose your footing, the way she’s so quickly comfortable enough to do these things to you, say these things to you, like she never even left you in the first place. It’s all too quick, and it makes you feel like you’re the happiest girl in the world, all while being the saddest.

You have to get away from her, you can’t be anywhere near her.

You quickly clear your throat, giving her a quick nod as you grab your glass and move over to your sink, which is opposite of the kitchen table. Her eyebrows furrow again as she watches you flee her touch, and it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

You’re quite literally flinching away from her touch as if you’re afraid of her, and it makes her anxiety settle in with each passing moment.

You stand near the sink, staring into the glass filled with lemonade, a lemon wedge floating around in the surface as you find it far more interesting to stare into it rather than looking into Ellie’s eyes.

“What’s going on?” She questions, one of her hands resting on her thigh as she watches you. The worry in her voice is enough to make you wince, eyes squeezing shut for a moment before you exhale loudly, looking up so that you’re now staring out your window, the calm morning breeze swaying through the trees calming you for a moment before you speak.

“I can’t do this, Ellie.” You mumble softly, voice barely above a whisper.

Your tone has Ellie on her feet before you can even finish, your kitchen table scraping against the wooden floor as she pushes it back so she can stand. You’ve barely even said anything, or given any explanation to what it is that you’re even talking about, but she already knows.

“What do you mean? You said last night that you were okay with this…with us-“ you cut her off quickly, the words falling from her lips too hard to listen to.

“I know….what I said Ellie…I just…” you sigh sadly, hands gripping the edge of your counter as you try to compose yourself. It doesn’t help that Ellie is by your side, her body towering over yours as she stares down at you. One of her hands come down to brush your hair away from your face, trying to get a better view of your expression as her other hand comes down to grip your hip gently, massaging the skin gently.

Despite you telling her you can’t be with her, she’s still there, comforting you and helping you get the words out. It makes it hurt even more.

She leans down, pressing a kiss to your head. “Say it…” she mumbles softly against your hair. Her words leave a chill down your spine, because her tone isn’t malicious or even angry, she knows she’s getting what she deserves, and she knows that you deserve to get it out.

You lick your lips, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before you turn to face her, your eyes finally looking up into hers. It makes your breath shudder, because they’re holding so much pain, and confusion and it makes you hate yourself for doing this.

“It is as just…a lot…seeing you for the first time in so long…I wasn’t thinking and…and you don’t even live here anymore, Ellie. How are we even supposed to do this? I let you stick around and fuck me until it’s time for you to leave again? And then it’s back to how it was? I don’t even know you anymore…I can’t…I won’t do it.” You sigh out, your words are stern and there’s no getting through to you, and Ellie can see that.

You feel your eyes burn with hot tears, and you don’t even care. You inhale deeply as they spill out onto your cheeks, gently grabbing Ellie’s hands from your hips and removing them so they’re now hanging down by her own legs.

“I deserve better, Ellie…and you aren’t that” you whimper out. The words are like fire on your tongue, burning your insides and setting your heart ablaze as you stare at her. It hurts to even say it out loud, but it’s the truth, you both know it.

Ellie’s own green eyes pool up with tears, the whites of her eyes going red as she inhales deeply. She knew it was all too good to be true, too much of a fantasy to indulge in. She didn’t deserve your kindness, she didn’t deserve your forgiveness, she knew that for a long time.

It was just nice to pretend that she did for a moment.

Ellie knows deep down, that she’d do anything to beat the obstacles that would’ve came with being with you. The distance, trust, making it all up to you, she would’ve done it all. You’d never been anything less than the girl that she wanted to grow old and grey with.

You both new that.

She licks her lips, looking down at her feet for a moment before she gives you a nod. She can’t make this any harder for you than it’s already been. You do deserve better, and as much as she feels she can provide only the best for you, she can’t put you through anymore pain than she already has.

“I’ll um…I’ll let myself out…” she nods to herself, her words barely above a whisper in fear that it’ll break through her tears, and she’ll crumble onto her knees, begging you to give her the chance that she didn’t deserve.

You inhale deeply, looking away from the girl as you nod. Any longer staring into those big, sad eyes, and you would’ve crumbled with her, holding her in your arms and telling her it had always been her, and that you’d give her a million chances if she wanted them.

But you needed to do right for yourself, you had to put your foot down.

Ellie disappears upstairs, grabbing her jeans and her sneakers and getting dressed in silence. She takes in the details of your room, knowing that it would be the last time that she sees this intimate side of you. It’s one of the things she regretted the most, not taking in the little things about you leading up to when she left, it made it harder to remember them down the road.

You don’t move from your spot until she comes back, because it’s hard to retain the last twenty four hours that you’ve experienced. It feels bizarre and unreal and it feels like a disturbingly realistic dream. You feel like you can’t move, like you’re suddenly glued to the floor.

Ellie’s foot steps padding against your floor breaks you away from that feeling, and you’re quickly on your feet and walking her towards the door. It’s awkward and strange and it feels like she wasn’t just grabbing you and pulling you into her body mere moments ago.

Before Ellie walks out of your door, she quickly turns around eyes scanning over your living room for a moment before she moved over to the little brown wooden entrance table near your door.

Along with a small bowl holding your keys, there was a little note pad and a little red pen. Without skipping another beat, she grabbed it, jotting down her number. She cleared her throat as she handed it to you, eyes down casted before she spoke. “My um…my number…feel free to call or text or..whatever you want. I’ll always answer” she reassures.

You stare at the little note for a moment, chewing your bottom lip before you sigh softly. “Ellie you really don’t have to do that-“ she cuts you off, stepping forward and grabbing your hand, turning it over before she pushes the paper into your hand, closing it around it.

“I don’t wanna be strangers anymore..even if we can’t be together in the way I’d want…I miss you…i’ll take you in any way you’ll let me have you…” she sighs out, her tone pleading with you.

You finally stare up into her eyes, and you know she’s telling the truth. You lick your lips, looking down at the little note scribbled in her hand writing, paired with a little smiley face at the end.

“Maybe we could go out sometimes…as friends or something” she adds on, weary of the way you’ve been completely silent this entire time.

You let out a soft sigh before you give her a slow nod, your finger tips gently running along the numbers on the paper before you finally look up at her, giving her a soft, sad smile. “Yeah…I’d like that, Ellie” you speak softly to her.

Despite it being far from what she wants, she gives you a soft smile. She nods with you, staring at you for a moment longer before she nods her head towards the door. “I’d better head out then…I’ll see you around?” She says almost hopefully, scared that it’ll be yet another promise you’ve made that you aren’t sure you want to keep or not.

You smile softly, giving her a reassuring nod. You’re leaning against the front door, watching her as she walks out to her car. She feels like she’ll pass out at any moment, because it’s like the universe is playing a cruel joke on her. The most beautiful girl in the entire fucking world is the one she can’t have, and seeing you leaned up against the door, sun shining down on you like you’re a goddess in the flesh.

She’s surprised she didn’t fall over with a nose bleed.

“I’ll….text you Ellie” you sigh out, and your words alone have Ellie grinning from ear to ear. She almost trips over her own feet as she walks backwards towards her car, causing you to giggle.

She quickly grabs onto the handle of the car, giving you a nod. “Yeah! Yes, um…I’ll answer!” She tries, smoothing down her t shirt to try and come off as cool as possible. You smile softly as you nod, giving the girl a small wave.

It’s all bitter sweet, the smiles on both your face and hers, the way you’re leaning against your door watching her get into her cat and leave, the dreamy look in your eyes as you watch as her car pulls out of your drive way. It all feels too much like a dream, like things had never changed, and everything you had ever wanted was all yours.

But it isn’t, Ellie isn’t yours and you aren’t hers. That was the decision you made, and you were sticking to it.

You huff loudly as you tug yet another dress of your body a bit too roughly.

Nothing looked right, everything looked wrong, and you had to be at Joel’s house within the next hour for the party he was throwing for Ellie.

It had been about a week since the entire situation with Ellie had happened, and as hollow as it made your heart feel, things between the two of you had been surprisingly good. You and her texted often, keeping things as friendly as possible. Apart from the numerous times Ellie tried flirting with you. You’d even gone as far as meeting with her and Joel for dinner sometime within the week. During which, Joel had mentioned that he was throwing a welcome home party for Ellie, and he expected you to be there.

And before you knew it, Friday was upon you. Your hair and makeup was already done, yet you had no idea what the hell to put on. You huffed loudly in annoyance as you threw a denim skirt across your room, stepping forward to rummage through your closet once again before the sound of your phone buzzing caught your attention.

You raised your eyebrows as you turned around, looking at your phone on its spot upon your bed. You roll your eyes playfully as you step forward a bit and realize it’s Ellie.

Ellie: do u know what ur gonna wear?

You sigh softly as you look at your mess of a closet for a brief moment before you begin typing away at your phone.

You: not a clue. U?

Ellie: birthday suit. Wanna twin?

You: do u want me to block u?

Ellie: jeez relax

Ellie: was just a suggestion 🙄

Ellie: srsly tho, u comin soon?

You: soon as I figure out what to wear

Ellie: hurry up. People are already here and I need someone to talk shit with

You: yes ur majesty

Ellie: oh I like that

You: I’ll send these messages to ur dad

Ellie: are u telling on me?

You: bye Ellie

Ellie: byeeeeeee

And that’s what your relationship consisted of. Witty back and forth texts with the occasional flirting that you’d have to shut down every once in a while. It felt…simple, easy, like there was no complicated history between the two of you and you could just be friends who would talk shit sometimes.

It made it feel easier to be around her.

You let out a soft sigh before you turn towards your closet once again, tossing your phone onto your bed and tackling the issue at hand that was finding an outfit for Ellie’s party.

About twenty minutes more of rummaging through your closet, you settle on a black lace table top, one that falls a bit frilly towards the end, a pair of blue jeans, and black sandals. You sigh softly as you look into the mirror, giving your hair a few more shakes and cleaning up any access lip liner around your lips before you grab your purse and make your way over to Joel and Ellie’s house.

When you get to Joel’s house, you aren’t sure you’d ever seen so many cars lined up against the curb.

Ellie had always been a town favorite, and it’s no shocker that everyone would wanna get in on the action of seeing her now that she was back.

You inhale deeply as you stare up at the house, for a moment a feeling of uncertainty washing over you. Regardless of the fact that you and Ellie were on speaking terms, it was still hard to shake the uneasy feeling that came with being around her. It made your heart rate quicken, made your palms sweaty, your hands shaky. It was an overwhelming full body experience that no matter how much you tried to shake, you couldn’t.

But, you promised you’d be there. You let out a soft sigh before you wiped your palms against the rough denim of your jeans, shaking away your nervous before you walked up the steps to the house, and let yourself inside.

You can’t remember the last time Joel’s house was so lively. Anytime within the last few months that you’d been there had been quiet, and it was only ever the two of you. Joel preferred it that way, keeping things quiet and more intimate. He just for some reason had a thing with home coming parties

As soon as you’re in the house, various familiar faces are coming towards you and greeting you with smiling faces. You smile softly as you embrace a few of them, allowing them to calm your nerves for a brief moment before you have to see Ellie.

But before those thoughts can even begin to disperse in your mind, Ellie is cutting the conversation she was having short, because her eye had been on the front door the entire night, waiting for the moment that the person behind it would be you.

It almost makes her angry, because you never fail to take her breath away. You’re supposed to be her friend and she’s gawking at you from the moment you set foot in her house. She licks her lips, eyes raking down your form as she brings the red solo cup to her lips, her other arm reaching out and circling your waist to pull you into a hug.

You take your bottom lip between your teeth as she pushes you flush against her body. She’s not drunk, but she’s certainly warmed up enough to grab you as she pleases. You can’t help but giggle softly as she holds you before you press your hands to her chest, pushing her away from your body. “Already broken into dads liquor cabinet I see?” You tease her.

She rolls her eyes playfully before she looks down into her cup before taking another sip. “Had no choice, he spent way too much fuckin money on whiskey for me…said he wanted the good stuff” she groans out. You smile softly as you nod, looking down into the cup with her before your eyes scan the room for the man in question.

“Where is he anyways? I wanna say hello” you breath out, your voice slightly raised as you lean into her a bit so that she’s able to hear you over the chatter of party goers conversations and the low music playing in the background.

Her eyes drift down towards your face as you look around for her father, licking her own lips as she takes in your pretty features for a moment before she looks up with you, catching sight of her dad across the room chatting up some work friends. “Probably talking about building decks and the game coming up…boring stuff…meaning you’d much rather hang with me” she mumbles out nonchalantly. You roll your eyes as you give her a nudge, your palm pressing against her chest.

She smirks softly as she watches you. You’d both fallen into such a comfortable relationship, regardless of the fact that her heart yearned for you whenever you were near, and every time other than that. She was at least grateful for the way you were around her now.

“You have an entire house of people here to see you, and talk to you…I won’t hog” you nod to yourself, and it makes her want to whine.

She’d trade every single person in that room for you, any fucking day.

“You’ll catch up later though, yeah?” She questions, her big eyes looking down into yours and practically begging for the reassurance that she so desperately needed. That had become a common thing for her, constantly asking you for reassurance that you’d text her or that you’d come back around to see her later on.

You know why she does it, she’s scared you’ll leave her. She’s scared you won’t keep your promise of sticking around and you’ll realize that this isn’t right, and she doesn’t even deserve you as a friend.

She’s scared you’ll do to her what she did to you.

But you always reassure her. You always give her that little act of devotion that she doesn’t deserve, yet you always feel the need to give her. You smile softly as you look up at her, giving her arm a gentle squeeze. “I’ll come and find you” you promise, and you can physically see relief wash over her. She smiles softly with you as she nods, mumbling a soft ‘okay’ before you set out to go find Joel.

Joel’s face lights up the exact same way Ellie’s does when he spots you, excusing himself from the conversation with his friends as he pulls you into a big bear hug. “There’s my girl…was starting’ to think you weren’t comin’ kid” he breaths out, and you can practically hear the smile on his face as he holds you close.

You giggle softly as you hug him back before you nod. “M’sorry, Joel…the walk is pretty long” you admit, leaving out the part where you ruined your entire bedroom searching for an outfit that was good enough.

Your words make him groan. “I told you kid, I could’ve came and picked you up. Don’t like you walkin’ home so late at night” he sighs out. You giggle softly, the prominent frown on his brow making it clear how annoyed he was with you doing that. “This town is harmless Joel. Plus, you’re celebrating with Ellie, I knew you’d wanna have a drink or two…I’ll be fine” you reassure him, giving his arm a playful punch.

He sighed softly, nodding slowly. “If you say so…but if you change your mind I’m sure one of my buddies wouldn’t mine taking you home” he promises, and you give him a nod paired with a soft smile. “I’ll keep that in mind Joel..” you smile up at him before you turn your attention to the party, smiling softly at what Joel had managed to put together.

“The place looks great by the way…you sure know how to throw a party old man” you praise him, causing his eyes to crinkle towards the edges as he smiles proudly. He nods in agreement as he brings his cup to his lips. “Looks good, right? Ellie said it was too much but…with her first time back and all..wanted to make it a good one” he breaths out before he looks down at you.

“M’really happy you made it kid. You don’t know how much it means to her” his voice drops a bit as he looks down at you, and you look up at him. His eyes are filled with genuine gratitude, the ones he looked at you with every time he saw you and Ellie together when you were younger. It was as if he was thanking you for loving his daughter, despite everything that had happened.

You smile softly up at him before you nod, looking down as you toy with the rings on your fingers. It all felt like too much, like you were given credit for something you didn’t deserve. You inhaled deeply before you nodded your head towards the kitchen. “M’gonna get something to drink…I’ll be around” you promise him, and he smiles softly as he nods, giving your back a soft, gentle rub before he goes back to his friends.

And those are the two longest conversations you have for the night. You decide to lay low, babysitting the drink that you’d made for yourself which consisted of whatever soda you could and the cheapest liquor that Joel had, because you didn’t want to use io the expensive stuff he’d bought for Ellie.

You float around from the living room, to the front porch, and the kitchen, choosing not to stay in one place for too long at one time. You have gentle smiles and small waves to people you knew from town, the drink in your hand giving you the warmth to not feel embarrassed when fleeing the conversation too quickly.

You do it, because you know that no matter what, you and Ellie would gravitate towards one another within the night. It was inevitable, because you were both drinking and if her eyes weren’t on you, yours were on her, and you had to make it a point to not make your way around her at all.

Because you knew it wouldn’t end well.

About an hour or two into the party, you’re leaned up against the island in Joel’s kitchen. You were working on your second drink, quietly sipping away at with your chin leaned into your palm, humming softly to the music that was playing.

Joel had made his way towards you within the night, checking in on you and making sure you were okay and had whatever you needed or wanted.

He leans up against the counter with you, his forearms resting against the wooden top as he leans into you a bit. “Why do I keep findin’ you hidin’ in a corner? You’re not havin’ fun?” He’s only half teasing you. The other half of his question is genuine, and you can’t help but feel bad that he’s worried about you, and why you’re not socializing.

You smile softly as you shake your head, bringing your red cup to your lips and taking another sip before you speak. “I’ve never been a social butterfly…you know that” you hum softly, and it’s true. You’ve never been one to party too hard or speak too much. Sure, you had your fair share of it all in college, but it was all done with the gentle shove of your friends behind you. You were an introvert through and through, who simply had a few extrovert tendencies whenever it counted.

But that was only half the truth.

The rest of it, was that you were in deed hiding from something, two somethings actually.

You didn’t mean to see it, or even catch it, although saying it that way made it sound like she was doing something wrong or something she shouldn’t have been, which was far from the truth. Joel had really gone as far as extending an invitation to anyone he saw in town, and urged them to spread the word to whoever they wanted. In that, came various familiar faces that you hadn’t seen in a very long time.

Amongst those faces, was a girl named Jade.

Jade became a prominent name during your high school years. Before you and Ellie began dating, it was no secret that the girl had been crushing on Ellie for quite some time. Ellie told you she noticed it all during the third grade, said that Jade would pass her notes or ask her to be her valentine, but she never truly paid it any mind, because she didn’t see Jade that way.

And when you started dating, the flirty eyes never really stopped. You’d always catch Jade ogling Ellie, whispering things to her friends when you’d walk past, laughing loudly to make sure you knew they were talking about you. You knew it wasn’t anything against you, it was for the simple fact that Jade wanted something that you had. In fact, when you’d return to town, Jade had even made it a point to pull you aside and apologize to you one day when you were running errands in town. You could tell she was genuine, and that it was all petty little high school games, and you considered her to be somewhat of a friend in your new life there.

And you never once accused Ellie of wanting Jade, because you always felt secure with her. Despite everything that Ellie had put you through, you’d never label her a cheater.

But seeing them both on the couch, Jade whispering something into Ellie’s ear, Ellie’s arm draped across the couch behind Jade, the two of them looking far too much like a couple for comfort. It put a dull, burning feeling inside your stomach. It made your heartbeat loud inside of your head and it felt like all the blood was rushing to your head. It was too much, and you couldn’t be around to watch.

But you’d never tell Joel that.

He somehow already knows that it’s what’s on your mind, because he’s leaning into you and his voice is dropping lower in volume so that no one but you will hear. “She’s just bein’ polite, you know…doesn’t mean anything…” he’s trying to reassure you, as if it would ease the blow.

You sigh softly, shaking your head as you bring your cup up to your lips, taking a sip of the flattening soda and the bitter alcohol, the flavor making you wince a bit. “Doesn’t matter if she’s being polite, or if she likes her…it’s none of my business…I’m just here because you asked me to be” you mumble out as you swirl the drink in the cup, staring down into it as you have a half shrug.

Joel sighed sadly as he watched you. Regardless of the fact that he knew Ellie was wrong for what she did, he knew his daughter, and he knew that she was just being young and reckless when she did what she did. He’d always been rooting for the two of you, secretly hoping that some how, some day, you’d find it in your heart to forgive his daughter, and give her the privilege of loving you.

His eyes drifted over towards Ellie for a moment, watching as the girl leaned in and whispered something in her ear, her hand resting on Ellie’s thigh. It was enough to make him roll his eyes, which prompted you to giggle softly. Alcohol always brought out the sassy side of the man.

“Im tellin’ you kid, if you went over there right now, you’d have her full attention” His words make you laugh dryly, shaking your head as you down the rest of your drink, tilting your head back to get all of it into your mouth before you toss it into the nearby trash.

“Maybe. But I’m not gonna stick around to test that theory” you breath out, your words slow and soft from the affects of the liquor in your system. Joel raises his eyebrows as he watches you, frowning softly.

“Leavin’ already? You sure about that?” He tries, his attempt at trying to get you to stay not so casual. You hum softly as you nod, leaning against the opposite side of the counter as you looked over at Joel with heavy eyes.

“I wanna get out of here while I can still walk…plus I don’t wanna keep you from your friends” you nodded towards the various people that Joel had left throughout the night to check on you. It made you feel bad, because he truly was the only person you felt okay with speaking to throughout the night, and the guilt you felt knowing you were pulling him away from his guests was something you could’ve easily gone without.

He sighed softly as he shook his head. “You know I’d rather spend time with you kid, don’t mind them” you’re already waving your hand lazily as you practically shoo him away, giving him a soft smile as you shake your head. “It’s way past my bed time anyways Joel….I’ll see you next week” you reassure him, and he knows there’s no convincing you.

He sighs gently before he gives you a soft nod, telling you to get home safe to which you assure him you will.

On your way towards the door, various people are calling after you. Telling you that it’s far too early for you to check out, you’re even sure a few hands grab your own, trying to tug you back. You simply give a soft giggle as you wave them off, telling them you have work to do at home.

It isn’t until a strong hand wraps around your waist when your hand is on the door, that you completely stop.

There’s no question on who it is, the feeling of Ellie’s hands having been burned into your brain from the last time she was with you. You can’t help but whine softly in annoyance, because you know that’s it’s her, and you know that there’s no reason for her to have gotten up from where she was sitting to stop you.

She’s the entire reason you’re leaving anyways.

Ellie’s tugging at your waist to turn you around, needing to see your face. The whine you let out makes her sigh softly. Once she’s gotten you to turn around, you’re rolling your eyes at her.

“What is it now, Ellie?” You sigh out tiredly, and it makes the girl frown. You sound like you’re over it, and tired of her, and like the only thing you truly want to do in that moment is go home.

“You’re leaving already? I thought…you said you’d come and find me later” she mumbles, her voice desperate and confused. You raise your eyebrows in disbelief as you watch her before you inhale deeply, giving her a half shrug. “I’m just tired, Ellie…it’s best if I go home now” you nod, trying to turn around and end the conversation short. You truly did not have the energy to deal with any of it, your emotions, the jealousy you felt, her.

She frowns further as you try to leave, her hand grabbing your wrist and stopping you from leaving before she speaks up again. “Is it..are you leaving because of Jade? Because her and I weren’t doing anything I swear-“ you let out a soft giggle, but it doesn’t sound friendly or even happy. You’re quite literally over it.

“Why are you explaining yourself to me? I’m nothing to you, Ellie. You can be with whoever you want, it has nothing to do with me” you breath out, and the words you’re saying are breaking Ellie’s heart.

She thought she had it all planned out. She wanted to just…make you a little jealous, get your attention in the slightest bit. She was running out of options, and doing some harmless flirting seemed to be the way she’d get you to her. She wanted you to stomp over to her and Jade on the couch, and demand that she come upstairs with you.

But when she simply saw your shoulders deflate from the kitchen, and you made your way to her front door, she knew she’d made a mistake.

It was starting to feel like that’s all she could do, make mistakes. Every thing she did, or said was always the wrong thing. The worst possible option for her to make was the one she always followed through with.

And she hated herself for it.

And she couldn’t even say anything to you. She just stared down at you as you waited for her to say something. You let out a tired sigh before you grab her hand gently, prying it away from her wrist. “Have fun with her…you deserve it” you sigh out, giving her a sad smile before you turn around once again to leave.

But this time, Ellie doesn’t stop you.

Because she isn’t sure how to reverse what she’s done. Nothing has gone the way she’s wanted it to, and what she thought would bring you two closer together has merely driven a wedge between you instead. She frowned as she watched you open the front door to her house.

Before you leave, you give her a small wave, and she can see in your eyes how much this has all taken out of you, how much life she had sucked out of you and left you dry. Despite all that she’d done, you still had it in your to leave with a sweet smile and a wave.

It was like she couldn’t do anything right, and seeing you leave and walk out of her home once again was breaking her heart.

She was letting you walk out again, and she felt utterly hopeless.

As she watched you leave, she promised herself that she would do everything in her power to make things right, to do right by you and be the girl that you deserved.

She was going to fight for you, no matter what.

[lowkeyremi]

such a random thought but like...

U college!eren and his friends are playing truth or dare (cuz everything happens during truth or dare) and some bitch is jealous bc eren is feeling you and not her. So she's like "I dare you to have sex w someone rn" cuz last time u said truth and they asked u who ur best fuck was and u said no one cuz like u never got past making out

and u start stressing tf OUT cuz aint no way u fucking anyone there. but eren's goofy ass is like "come on let's go fuck" and ur just wide eyed staring at that mf cuz huh???

said bitch is getting mad like "cmon eren someone else should do it, u dont have to pity her"

bro's like "i want to" so he drags u away to his place n is like "we dont gotta fuck, i was just helping u out. wanna fill condoms w lotion?"

uhhhhh "why?"

"proof, armin aint gon believe us if i just give em my word." so u n eren spend the next hour making it look like yall fucked. im talking messed up his sheets, filled condoms, three for good measure. you did end up making out w him cuz like you need realistic hickeys, make up aint gon cut it also he's hot who wouldn't wanna kiss him

he wet his hair to make it look like he showered and changed his clothes.

"take off ur bra"

"what the hell, no"

"it'll be more believable if u "accidentally" left ur bra at my place cuz my dick is so good"

"ur full of shit, u just wanna keep it"

"can i?"

"its one of my cute ones so i'll come back for it, turn around so i can take it off" he turns around, he can hear u shifting around so he takes a lil peek only to see ur back he's lowkey upset cuz he wanted to get a look at those tiddies

eren brings u back to where t or d is going on, n honestly the bitch is mad that eren "fucked" u

yall just acted like it was normal and nothing happened. when u were getting ready to leave armin pulled u aside and said, "ik u guys didnt fuck but ill keep ur little secret."

"how'd u know??" did eren say something

"if u actually had sex w him im sure u wouldn't have come back, eren tends to leave people fucked out."

"why do u know that?"

"threesomes are a thing" he smirks

"i'll keep ur secret if u n eren promise me a threesome, i wouldn't wanna pass up on someone as pretty as you."

you gush a lil bit, "maybe, i wont fuck unless im comfortable."

remi's note: i wanna write this but i also dont lmaooo, this been on my mind for a little bit. dead ass how fun would it be to make evidence w eren, i feel like you'd be helping mess up the sheets and he'd throw a pillow at u and its not soft either he full on fucking body slammed u with a pillow

[silverflqmes]

໒⦂ 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒.

notes. reposted and edited from wp! happy holidays and merry christmas to those who celebrate!

genre. fluff + crack

ft. tooru oikawa, tetsuro kuroo, rintaro suna, shoyo hinata, kenji futakuchi, hajime iwaizumi, osamu miya

gender neutral! reader

➫ 𝓞𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔 𝓣𝗢𝗢𝗥𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ HOT COCO HOT COCO HOT COCO

⌗ he loves to sit near the fire place with either you seated on his lap or just plopped up above him on the couch or beneath if you're more my style AHAHAHAHA

⌗ LOVES HALLMARK MOVIES i mean look at him, he would so watch them.. but he wouldn’t mind the classics like elf, christmas story ( my fav fr ), the home alone duology or national lampoon’s christmas vacation🫶

⌗ "I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU Y/N-CHAAAAANNNN!!" — after watching elf and doing last minute christmas shopping going up the escalator ( he’s silly )

⌗ would totally play old jazzy christmas songs and pull you close to him, swaying gently in the kitchen or by the fireplace to the melody with the smell of balsam in the air❤️

⌗ you already know he would have lured you under the mistletoe too somehow🧎

⌗ "oh wow! i wonder how this got here!!🙀"

➫ 𝓚𝗨𝗥𝗢𝗢 𝓣𝗘𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ y'all woke up LATE on christmas day istg, but tetsuro hooked you up real nice with presents ykyk he made that bank af and worked those extra hours just for you<3

⌗ THE DECORATIONS ARE SO PRETTY ISTG WHO LET HIM HAVE THIS MUCH TASTE, WHO ALLOWED HIM TO SLAY THAT HARD

⌗ unlike kawa, kuroo took you for dinner and made a day out of it? he took you ice skating, out to see the lights and decorations, tossed a few snowballs at you to piss you off🧎

⌗ "come onnn, i promise i won't let you fall~"

⌗ it ends up snowing a bit later into the night on your way back home, so he gave you his scarf, long coat AND mittens.. hooked you up fr

⌗ except.. nothing fits aside from the scarf, but are you complaining? no🙄 although you did yell at him for it cuz he could get sick</3

⌗ he had an entire argument prepared as to why he wouldn't get sick and you could have sworn that he mentioned the periodic table somewhere🧍‍♂️spoiler alert- he gets sick the next day

➫ 𝓢𝗨𝗡𝗔 𝓡𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ ngl at first you were SO confused as to why suna didn't have a christmas tree in his living room, but one in his bedroom until christmas day..

⌗ Y'ALL DID NOT MOVE THE ENTIRE DAY

⌗ "rin, we gotta open the presents y'know.. and i kinna want breakfast.. we gotta get up at some point."

⌗ "the presents are under our tree over there by the dresser, just peek under and you'll see them. as for breakfast, kita-san’s coming over with everyone later. problem solved."

⌗ tbfh the laziest christmas you could ever imagine, but like you can’t complain, it was nice to just unwind a bit

⌗ he did keep the spirit of the holidays with a good bit of christmas movies, for sure the grinch who stole christmas ( it’s his favorite )

⌗ later on, true to his words, kita showed up around 7:30 with the rest of the team and y'all had sum good ass food and hot coco after reluctantly dragging suna out of bed to get ready🤲

➫ 𝓗𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗔 𝓢𝗛𝗢𝗬𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ boy are you in for it🧎

⌗ shoyo woke you up at four in the morning with natsu in tow, dragging your ass to the living room where the tree was filled with a wide arrangement of presents

⌗ you were still half asleep and since you were staying at shoyo's for the holidays — you uh.. weren't allowed to start opening gifts till seven LMAOO so you guys started guessing the presents instead; yk getting a feel of them

⌗ "WOAH THIS ONE'S SUPER BIG, I-IT COULD BE ANYTHING!"

⌗ "sho, the only thing it's gonna end up being is a wake up call to your mom and then you'll never know what it is."

⌗ tobio comes over later and y'all have a snowball fight together🥺

⌗ you and natsu won LMAOOOO poor lil birb was upset, but your kisses made things better for him❤️

➫ 𝓕𝗨𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗨𝗖𝗛𝗜 𝓚𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗜 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ ugh yes dateko's baddest bitch😩 another grinch enjoyer tbh

⌗ this man woke you up with a snowball to your face before shouting out merry christmas

⌗ although it was a cheap shot, getting you while VULNERABLE, you couldn't stay mad at him, as you loved this piece of shit so dearly😪

⌗ HOWEVER. that didn't mean you didn't get his ass back the minute he dropped his guard when you went outside to turn your christmas lights off for the day

⌗ "huh, so you think you can be a cheeky little shit with me on such a loving day? and get away with it?"

⌗ "and what? you don't hear me complaining, now do you kenji?”

⌗ in spite of being complete little shits to each other, you laughed it off after awhile and just spent your evening curled up together on your couch with a plate of sugar cookies that you both had baked the night before ( ofc you can guess there was a war of flour and baking tools then too )

➫ 𝓘𝗪𝗔𝗜𝗭𝗨𝗠𝗜 𝓗𝗔𝗝𝗜𝗠𝗘 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ y'all have the coziest christmas honestly

⌗ you and hajime don't wake up too early or too late; it's just the right time and you're both completely prepared for all that's to come for the day

⌗ the two of you start off with unwrapping presents, then iwaizumi makes you the BEST breakfast ever istg, TELL ME HE DOESN'T COOK RN IF YOU WANNA GET TUSSLED

⌗ ngl tooru taught him some good shit when it came to making hot coco and you swore you were just about ready to tap into heaven at that immaculate taste

⌗ "oh my gosh, haji, what did you put in this, it's so.. it's better than amazing!"

⌗ "while i want tell you, i'm ‘sworn to secrecy’, his words not mine, by that fool oikawa with his secret recipe bullshit." he can’t lie though, whatever tf tooru invented was otherworldly..

⌗ not even an hour later you found it on starbucks' secret menu app and you showed it to your boyfriend who flipped his shit before sprinting over to his friend’: house with two snowballs in hand ( with hard snow.. praying for my man to dodge more than ever ); the outcome.. wasn't the prettiest😔

➫ 𝓜𝗜𝗬𝗔 𝓞𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD did i say food? yes, food.

⌗ all you two did that whole entire day was EAT?? NOT EVEN THAT BUT YOU HAD A WHOLE CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER TOO THE NIGHT BEFORE HXJSKSKS OSAMU DOES NOT PLAY GAMES WHEN IT COMES TO CHRISTMAS

⌗ atsumu invites himself over as usual and there's chaos in the kitchen of course..

⌗ "OUTTA THE WAY 'SAMU, I WANNA DECORATE COOKIES TOO!!"

⌗ "if you don't quit whinin' right now 'tsumu, i'm gonna beat yer ass and toss ya out in the snow."

⌗  bantering aside, the cookies were super pretty?? they tasted heavenly too, cookies from scratch go hard and whatever recipe those two were taught.. yum

⌗ osamu had nonalcoholic eggnog prepared for you and him to have after atsumu went home and the two of you exchanged the presents you had for one another before cuddling near the tree and fireplace for the night<3

notes. forgot to repost this before with the other reposts but it was kinda out of season.. so i waited for the holidays to blow in to fixed them up a bit and post them on here. furthermore, super sorry for the lack of activity, been working on my og wip as of late and my longer fics on wp :’) hope you understand</3

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[javiscigarette]

Just Focus on My Love

Frankie Morales x f!reader

Summary: Frankie just thinks there are better things to do than play a silly video game called Stardew Valley (or a very self-indulgent sweet baby boy Frankie fic)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ only!! No use of Y/N smut duh, oral (f receiving), a bit of body/pussy worship, fingering, squirting, spitting, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, he adds a finger just for funsies, creampie, cum play, frankie loves to run his mouth when he's horny, also I know this man has killed people but he is just a baby

Word count: 4k

A/N: Inspired by Focus by miss Charli xcx!! Also this is dedicated to all the real gamers out there who play Stardew. May your crops flourish. Also this may secretly be the first part of a lil series I'm cookin up but you didn't hear that from me!

Frankie finds you on the sectional in the basement in full veg mode. You’re sitting in the corner of the couch with your legs stretched out on the cushions in front of you with the lights down low.

You’re playing the same game you’ve been playing for months now, the game Frankie is slowly starting to despise. He had actually been the one to suggest finishing the basement and creating this little sanctuary for you to play video games.

But he didn't think about how if you started spending more time curled up playing your games, that would be less time spent with him.

“Babyyy” Frankie whines from where he’s standing near the foot of the couch, at the end of your outstretched legs. 

“Hi, Francisco” you reply calmly, not taking your eyes off the screen.

Frankie takes that as an invitation. 

You pause the game and giggle as he climbs on the couch before ungraciously collapsing on top of you. He rests his head on your chest that’s covered with one of his t-shirts. 

“Don’t distract me, Frankie” you say firmly between little giggles while he gets comfy. 

“No promises.”

He snakes his arms around you, trapping his forearms between your waist and the couch cushion You roll your eyes and wrap your arms around his neck to hold your control behind his head. You unpause and go back to the game and Frankie gives you almost five whole minute before he sighs again. 

“You’ve been down here for hours, bebita. What even is this game? Skyblue Valley? ” Frankie groans. 

“Stardew Valley. And I told you I’m so close to finishing the community center and I want it done this weekend” 

Frankie grumbles again and turns his head to look at you straight on, his chin resting on your chest, his face inches away from your’s. 

“But I’m bored and we should be spending time together. Strengthening our bond, yanno” 

You snort at that. 

“Strength of our bond?” 

“Yeah! Quality time! One of the love languages.” 

“Frankie, baby, we spent the whole day together. And as soon as I’m done with this we’ll spend the rest of the night together”

“C’mon, cariño.” Frankie whines.

He shifts around again until suddenly there’s some pressing hard against the front of your hip. It’s not surprising - Frankie can’t keep his hands off of you. He’s needy too, requiring almost the same amount of your attention that a 3-month old puppy would.

“Not gonna work, Francisco. You’ve gotta try harder than that” you say plainly, keeping your eyes glued to the screen. 

You should’ve just kept your mouth shut. 

Frankie immediately sees the challenge and lunges at it like a rabid dog. He narrows his eyes at you, his lips curling up in a mischievous smirk. 

“Frankie…” you try to warn him, already seeing exactly where this is going.

“Just keep playing your game, hermosa” Frankie says calmly, turning his head to rest his cheek on your chest again. 

He moves to unpin his arm from underneath you and starts to fiddle with the hem of your (his) shirt. The cotton is soft and worn, just like all the other shirts and sweaters that you’ve stolen from him.

He never complains, not even when half of his clothes end up on your side of the closet. He loves seeing you in them, seeing how they fit on your body, how they smell like you at the end of the day. He can never get enough. 

He slips his fingers under the hem and traces the pads of his fingers over the smooth skin of your stomach and your hips. It’s mindless, the way his hands roam your body, tracing paths that he’s traced millions of times before. 

He gets lost in it for a few minutes. He shuts his eyes and lets his hand drift all over you like he’s trying to memorize the way you feel under his fingers and his palms. It’s soothing for him too. Grounds him and reminds him that you’re real and you’re here. 

His palm is hot on your skin, leaving a burning trail as it roams your body, sliding over every square inch of skin that he can reach. It’s a simple and fairly innocent gesture, but you already feel something swirling in your tummy. 

Eventually Frankie remembers his mission and gets back to work. 

He slowly slides his palm from your rib cage down the front of you until just his fingertips dip under the elastic waistband of your sweatpants. He doesn’t stay there for long before sliding his hand back up to where he started at your rib cage. He repeats the process a few times, his fingers sliding further and further under your waistband. 

He looks up at you but you’re still unbothered, completely focused on your game. Internally, it's a completely different story. You’ve been wet since the moment he laid down and you can feel the damp cotton of your panties sticking to your core. He always gets you going like that. But you genuinely did want to finish this. And more importantly, you wanted to see what Frankie has up his sleeve. 

He pushes himself up until he’s sitting between your legs with enough room to slide your pants off, pulling your underwear down too in the same motion. Frankie parts your knees, slowly spreading you open and revealing your wet seam. His cock lurches almost painfully and he whispers “Jesus christ” to himself at the sight of your pussy already swollen and glistening without him even properly touching you. 

He settles between your legs once again, laying on his abdomen with your dripping cunt inches from his face. 

He takes his sweet time though and scatters sweet kisses on your inner thighs. He can’t help but stop every so often to nibble and suck at the smooth skin, leaving fresh red marks among the fading ones that he gave you yesterday and the day before and the day before that. 

He feels your muscles twitch under his lip and he glances up at you, but you’re still focused on your game. Damned and determined, he slowly kisses his way up your thigh and stops when his face is inches away from your burning core. 

With no further preamble, and because he can’t wait any longer, he dives right in. 

And he’s fucking ravenous with it. 

He flattens his tongue and groans into you as soon as the taste of you touches his tongue. He licks you from your leaking hole up to your clit before taking the swollen nub between his lips. He takes his time, sucking on your clit and flicking it with the tip of his tongue before letting go and licking back down to your hole where he dips his tongue inside, his head going dizzy when he feels you clench around his tongue. And the sound of it is crude, the sucking and slurping and his ragged gasps for air as he dinks you down and feasts on you. 

He’s greedy too. He spreads your lips open with his thumb and forefinger, holding you open so he can plunge his tongue inside of you as far as he possibly can with his nose bumping against your clit and he groans deeply into you again when he feels you clench around his tongue. 

Your eyelids flutter and your eyebrows draw together while your eyes roll back a bit. With a quick sideways glance, you see him with his eyes closed as he loses himself in you. Every bone in your body wants to sing but you bite back your moans, determined not to give in so easily.

Frankie takes his mouth off of you with a wet pop. He’s breathing heavily, delightfully out of breath. You haven’t paused your game yet, but your hands are motionless on the controller. Your chest is heaving with quick breaths and your bottom lip is red and puffy from you gnawing at it while you try to bite back your moans. 

He’s almost there. 

Frankie knows what makes you tick. He has spent hours and hours between your legs mapping out every inch of you and carefully studying your reaction to his every touch until he memorized every single little thing that made you shake and squirm and scream. 

So that’s why he uses both thumbs to spread you open before spitting onto your already dripping seam and listens happily to the groan he knew you would let out. He doesn't even bother looking up at you when you make a noise. He’s too enamored with watching the way his spit glides down your cunt before settling around your pulsating hole. With his mouth watering, he latches back onto you. 

And he’s messy with it. He buries his face in your pussy, overindulging in the way your slick leaks out onto his tongue and drips down his chin, moving his face side to side and smearing it all over his beard and your inner thighs until you’re both a mess.   

You’re quickly losing this battle and like clockwork, your thighs start to tremble just slightly. 

He’s got you right where he wants you.

He unwraps an arm from where it’s locked around your thigh and brings his hand up between your legs. With no warning, he sinks two thick fingers inside of you. He moans loudly against you when you gasp, your back reflexively arching and your hips grinding up against his face. 

Finally, you surrender and toss your controller to the side and grip onto Frankie’s fluffy curls instead. 

You moan his name, the sweetest sound on Earth Frankie thinks, as you tangle your fingers in his hair and pull his face impossibly closer into you and hold him in place there. Frankie doesn't miss a beat and sucks your clit in between his lips as he steady pumps his fingers in and out of you. He hums in delight, tingles running from his scalp down his spine and to his toes as you start to rock your hips against his face. The vibrations of his sounds against your core cause hot flames to start licking at the base of your spine. 

Despite your fingers tugging harshly in his hair, he pulls back from you just enough to mumble “Ride it, cariño. Ride my fuckin’ face,” his voice raspy and breathless before latching back onto your aching core. 

You listen to him because why the fuck would you not. You tighten your grip in his hair, and his jaw goes slack as you start to rock your hips up off the couch and back down again, sliding your dripping cunt up and down his awaiting tongue. 

Frankie could die happy right now. He moans when your thighs squeeze either side of his head while your hand on the back of his head keeps his face pressed into you so firmly he can't get a good breath. But he’d rather pass out than move an inch away from you right now. And the sounds he’s making are obscene, his muffled grunts and groans and whimpers going straight to your lower abdomen where the pressure of your impending orgasm is quickly multiplying. 

Everything feels so perfect, his fingers rhythmically sliding in and out of your pulsating hole, expertly stretching you out and filling you up as you hold onto his hair for dear life and ride his tongue, letting his scruffy beard scrape deliciously against your inner thighs. 

Frankie knows you’re close, he can hear the way your moans are quickly growing more and more desperate and can feel you clamping down around his fingers.  It’s time for his final move.

He pushes his fingers inside of you as deep as he can get and instead of pulling them out again, he keeps them in place and curls them upward. The sound you make is angelic and Frankie’s cock twitches hard from where it’s pinned against the couch cushion. He hasn’t paid a single ounce of attention to his throbbing length. And he doesn’t want to. He wants to, needs to devote himself entirely to your pleasure, so fucking desperate to feel you come underdone under his tongue. 

He breathes heavily through his nose as your hips start building up speed as you grind against his mouth. He keeps working his tongue while repeatedly pressing the tips of his fingers into your g-spot until there’s no more air in your lungs and your head is fucking spinning.  

It starts in your hips, the way your pace falters lets Frankie know what’s about to happen. He doubles down on his efforts and his eyes roll back when your thighs start shaking violently on either side of his head. 

“Frankieee” you whine, your nails starting to scrape against his scalp. He gives you a low and throaty growl a nonverbal way of saying “I’ve got you, let go for me. Give it to me, please baby” 

And you do. 

Your orgasm crashes down on you, knocking all the air out of your lungs as every muscle tenses in your body. Frankie doesn’t stop, not for one second, even when you start to gush around his fingers. The groan he lets out is animalistic, as you squirt against his face, your juices pouring down his hands and dripping down his face and chin onto the couch below him. 

You buck your hips and squirm underneath him as your pussy clenches with each wave of pleasure but he keeps his mouth glued to you, drinking you down. He can’t get enough. He keeps lapping at you, trying not to waste a single drop but it’s impossible with how hard you came. 

He keeps going as you ride it out, just basking in the noises you’re making and the feeling of your fingers tugging sharply at his hair, never wanting this to end. 

But your intense pleasure is fading away and sensitivity is starting to quickly replace it. You let him have his fill for a few more seconds as he desperately laps up everything you gave him. But it quickly becomes too much and you start to push him away. With a pitiful whine, he pulls back reluctantly and rests his head on your thigh. 

But you’re an absolute sight to behold in front of him. Your inner thighs and your puffy cunt are drenched, so messy and wet with a small wet spotunder the couch from your juices that Frankie couldn't lick up. Your inner thighs are rubbed red from his beard and there are crescent marks on the top of your thigh where Frankie was gripping you. 

“You’re so fucking sexy” Frankie whispers, watching your cunt clench weakly around his fingers as he slowly slides them out of you, moaning quietly as a small amount of liquid dribbles out of you and onto the couch. 

He tries to give you a break so you can catch your breath. But you’re just as impatient as he is. So you card your fingers through his hair before tugging slightly, a small mewl slipping past your lips. 

Frankie looks up to meet your gaze and raises an eyebrow when he sees the desperation still clouding your eyes. You just look back at him and whine pathetically but he knows exactly what you want. 

He doesn't tease you, doesn’t even mention the fact that your game is unpaused on the TV. Because he’s fucking needy too. And there’s a wet spot on the front of his briefs from where he was leaking precum while he was grinding mindlessly against the couch as he ate you out to prove it. 

And now, with you looking like this, he needs you bad. 

Without saying anything and keeping his eyes fixed on you, Frankie wipes his mouth with the back of his hand like he just finished eating a fucking 5 course meal and stands up from the couch to quickly shed off all his clothes. But he moves too fast though and hits his shin on the coffee table. You hiss and grimace at the sight but he barely reacts to the pain before kneeling back down on the couch between your legs again. 

Your mouth waters when you see his cock, impossibly hard and angry red, the tip wet and shiny with precum as it bobs between his legs, thick and heavy. 

“Gonna let me have you, cariño?” Frankie asks through a gravelly grumble before spitting in his hand and coating his cock in it as if you needed any more lubrication. It can’t hurt though, Frankie is thick and no matter how wet you are or how many times you take him, he stretches you out with a delicious burn. Every. Single. Time. 

“Yes Frankie, I’m please I need it, fuck” you whine. 

Frankie shushes you and lines himself up at your entrance, his fat tip pressing against your aching hole. You try to roll your hips up but he brings his free hand down to your hip, effectively pinning you in place with one broad palm. 

“Just take it, baby,” Frankie whispers. “Let me give it to you.” 

With a heavy sigh, Frankie pushes into you. He tries to go slowly, but you’re so wet that he sinks in with ease and it doesn’t help that your greedy cunt is practically sucking him in. He bottoms out with a broken moan and brings his other hand to grip your hip. 

You’re a mess underneath him, keening and moaning freely as your walls clench wildly around him. You know he’s not going to last long and being so close to the tailend of your last orgasm, there’s not much hope for you either. 

But Frankie is going to take as much as he possibly can from you. 

He gives you a few moments to adjust to his size and the feeling of being stuffed full of him. The stretch burns pleasantly as your walls flutter around him. 

“F-Frankie, fuck you feel so good s-so fucking deep, baby” you babble in between moans and gasps for air. 

He tightens his grip on your hips as he pulls out halfway and drives back into you. His cock throbs inside of you at the sound of your moan. 

“I know, baby.” Frankie sighs. “But you take it so well. Always take it so well. Letting me stretch your perfect little pussy out, huh? Such a good girl making room inside in that sweet cunt for my thick fuckin cock, letting me fill you up. Your fucking perfect, cariño. So fucking good, I’m so lucky”  

Sweet, sweet Frankie. The human embodiment of a basket of puppies that runs his mouth and fills your head with filthy words behind closed doors.

Frankie knows he should give you more time to adjust to his size, but he can’t help himself. He starts to build up a steady pace, not wanting to waste a single second of being inside you, grunting at every beautiful sound you make. 

You just lay there and take it, moaning at the feeling of him splitting you in half as he pounds into you, desperately chasing after his own orgasm. 

He slides his hands down from your hips to your inner thighs before prying them apart and pinning your legs to the couch, leaving your pussy on full display for him. He lets out a strained moan when he sees the way your lips are gripping him as he pulls out and sucking back in as he slams back into you. 

“M’not gonna last long, baby” Frankie pants with his eyes glued to where your bodies are connected. You’re already hurtling towards your second orgasm but you manage to fight the overwhelming pleasure that’s rooting itself in your bones again to open your eyes and look up at him. You’re presented with the most gorgeous sight of Frankie fucking  you with no regard. His curls are flopping down in front of his eyes as he stares at where he’s disappearing inside of you, his jaw is slack and hanging open, and his heaving chest is starting to glisten with sweat. 

“Mmmm cum inside, Frankie. I wanna feel it” you moan when you feel his hips stutter.

He grunts before dragging his eyes up your body from your wet pussy to your blown out pupils. He stares into your eyes for just a few seconds as he keeps fucking into you. 

Then he winks at you. 

Knowing that can only mean trouble, you watch him with bated breath. He drops his gaze back to where he’s pounding into you. His eyes twinkle with curiosity as he moves one hand from your thigh and brings it to your mouth. 

He gives you just one finger, slips his index finger past your lips and watches intently as you swirl your tongue around his digit, getting it wet with your spit. When he’s satisfied, he pulls it out and brings it back down to your core. 

He slows down a bit and you gasp when he traces where he’s stretching you out with his wet finger. 

“Think you can take a little more?” Frankie asks, looking up at you while continuing to prod at your stretched entrance. 

“Yes” you moan, not giving it a second thought because if Frankie thinks you can, then you know you can. 

“Thank you, cariño” Frankie whispers.

You give him a weak nod and try to suppress the whimper that’s bubbling up in your throat when he stops moving until he’s still inside of you. 

You do whimper, well more of a strangled moan, when he starts to work his finger covered in your saliva into you, right alongside his thick cock. 

“Holy shit” you cry out, one of your hands flying up to claw at his bicep. 

“Is it too much?” Frankie asks, his eyebrows drawn together in concern as he tries to read your facial expressions and your body language. 

You shake your head fervently and squeeze your eyes shut. 

“N-no, keep going” you pant. “Feels so good, Frankie, please keep going.” 

And because Frankie is trained to follow commands so well, he keeps pushing his finger inside of you, cursing under his breath as you squeeze around his finger and his cock. 

“Jesus christ, baby” Frankie hisses as he starts fucking into you again. 

With the added thickness of his finger (which is ridiculously thick by itself), you genuinely feel like his ripping you open in the best way possible. You can’t hold on for much longer and the sounds he’s pulling out of you are insane and as he delivers you into the awaiting arms of your second orgasm. 

“C’mon, baby. Can feel every fucking inch of you squeezing me” Frankie huffs as he continues to plow into you. “Soak my cock, baby please. I wanna see it this time.” 

There's a long moan of his name and the sound of it bounces around in his head before traveling as a tingle down his spine. He watches you in amazement as you lift your hips off the couch as you start to gush around him again. He doesn’t stop pounding into you though. And the sensation of your slick leaking out around his finger and his cock and sliding down his to his palm and his balls as you clench around him is too fucking much. 

His own body takes him by surprise, his hips faltering as he starts to cum inside you with no warning. He grunts loudly as he empties himself inside of you and it’s so much that he can’t remember the last time he came this hard. 

The two of you stay there for a minute, just trying to catch your breath. Frankie starts to go soft and once the stretch isn’t so much, he slowly slides his cock and and finger out of you. He groans softly in his throat and watches with heavy eyelids as his cum, mixed with your own release, starts to leak out of you, adding to the dark spot on the couch from earlier.

As if he’s on autopilot, Frankie mindlessly gathers his cum that’s seeping out of you on two of his fingers before he pushes them back inside of you. He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of you, marveling at the way your hole leaks around them until you whimper and squirm at the overstimulation. 

He carefully removes his fingers and slides them into his own mouth because he can never get enough of you. Never ever. You watch with hooded eyes and a dopey smile as he licks your slick and his cum off his fingers, closing his eyes and making a small noise in his throat as he does so. 

He takes his fingers out of his mouth with a strand of saliva briefly and obscenely connecting his tongue to his fingers. He opens his eyes and gives you a goofy grin, too entirely pleased with himself. He leans down and presses his lips against yours. He laughs through his nose when you eagerly lick into his mouth in an attempt to get a second hand taste. 

After a playful bite to your bottom lip, he pulls back to look at you. 

“You’re greedy” Frankie teases with a smirk. “And messy” he adds when he looks down to the wet spot on the couch. 

The same couch that the two of you bought a couple months ago because ironically, your old couch was starting to collect some stubborn stains. Frankie knows you’ll give him shit about it later and will probably be the one on his knees cleaning the cushion in a few minutes, but he doesn’t care one bit. 

“Don’t even try, Morales” you say with a chuckle and an eye roll. 

Frankie giggles sweetly before ducking down to give you another quick kiss. He then straightens up and turns his head to look over his shoulder at the TV. He turns back to look at you with a shiteating grin. 

“You left it unpaused” he tries to say plainly, but the glee is evident in his voice.

He won. 

Your face drops from sated to stressed as you look over at the TV screen and see that the game has advanced three more days while Frankie was playing with you. 

“Francisco Morales!” you shout, reaching behind you to grab a pillow and throw it at him. He scrambles off the couch and runs away cackling before you can hit him.

[calypsocolada]

SHAMELESSLY | f. dostoevsky

(final part in the series! click here for part one)

synopsis: after a demon escapes your grasp you hunt it back down. authors note: hiiiiiiiiii!!!!! thank u all so much for your nice words and such :3. this is the final part in this series so I hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it!!! cw: blood, gore, violence, suggestive, FLUFF, cussing, lil angst, fyodor is and always will be OBSESSED wit u ;) wc: 5.4k

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You’ve never worn a corset before and in this exact moment you knew why. You felt Yosano tighten the strings until you could feel the beating of your own heart. 

“I think that’s too tight.” You choked out as Yosano giggled behind you.

“No pain no gain, sweetheart.” She said, tightening it just a bit more. 

“I don’t understand why I need this,” You breathed out in exasperation. “It restricts my movements.”

“Stop complaining, after all it’s your fault the demon escaped.” Yosano teases as you let your eyes fall closed.

It was your fault, you let him trick you, let him touch you and steal the keys and now he’s gone. He’d been sending you things, flowers, chocolates, and whatever else all to taunt you. You feel Yosano grip your shoulders softly. “I was joking. He would’ve escaped one way or another, now you just gotta bring him back.” Easier said than done. You flopped down in a chair. Yosano fluffed up your hair and turned the chair around, tilting your head up by the chin. “Are you worried about seeing him again?” She asks. You remember his eyes, midnight plum, in the dark. His hand on your cheek, wiping blood from your face. He tricked you good. All of it was an act, to muddle your senses and leave you defenseless. It boiled you from the inside, left you angry and wanting. The anger was so palpable that it fueled your fire for the past two months since he broke out.

“No.” You answer truthfully, you couldn’t help the bitterness in your voice. Yosano tilted her head slightly.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you were. That demon is something to be feared.” 

“He’s something to be caught. Like a rat.” You quip as a grin breaks out on Yosano’s face. 

“Glad you think that way.” She remarks, pushing back to her feet, dusting off her skirt. “As you know our intel’s iffy,” Yosano starts. You’d been chasing dead ends for quite some time now. You joined back up with the agency out of guilt and disappointed your parents. They were of course upset that you lied about it for a while but you promised the moment you caught the bastard you’d be back home. “Sources say he’ll be at this masquerade tonight so you need to be on guard and be wary of using your powers since he knows about them.” You already thought of that. Fyodor is highly intelligent and you’re sure that if you finally found him there’s a reason that only he devised. So impossibly you had to be more cunning. You pushed to your feet, leaning to look in the mirror. Yosano did you up, you almost didn’t recognize yourself without the sleep deprived bags under your eyes. You looked fresh even though you haven't been sleeping much. You straightened.

“Good work, I look human again.” You remarked as Yosano snorted. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Now you better get going. Oh, and Y/n?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t play hero, if you see him, stall him and wait for us.” Yosano advised, her voice deadly serious. You nodded your head but the only person that was going to slam the cell door in Fyodor’s face was going to be you. 

The masquerade was extravagant. That’s really the only word you could use to describe it. You never went to dances when you were younger, you always thought you were too cool for them but in reality you wished you went. Though you were sure a high school couldn’t put on something this enchanting...

As you walked in the large stone doors into the venue your breath stuttered in your chest. It looked like a story book come to life. Every single soul was dressed to the nines, intricate gowns with matching masks, velvet suits and cuffs. Not to mention the entire venue, large ceilings with stained glass windows, long vines hanging from tall statues of sculpted men and women with little to cover the intimate parts. There were hundreds of people lining the hall, some dancing and some laughing, drinking from fancy looking goblets, eating even fancier looking desserts. You swept down the stairs, pulling the mask over your eyes as you scanned every face you walked by. 

“I feel as though I walked into a different time.” You say softly, hearing a familiar crackle in your earpiece. 

“Yes, someone really outdid themselves.” Dazai answers. You maneuver your way through the party goers, swiping a drink and tipping the glass to your lips. It’s sweet at first but strong when it slides into your stomach. You set down the empty glass and grab another. “Go easy there, alchy.” You hear Dazai admonish and you can’t help but roll your eyes. You walked not one but two laps around the room and you were fast approaching to losing hope, that the iffy intel was just that, iffy. 

“He’s not here.” You say, hiding your lips behind the glass. You hear Dazai lean back in his creaky chair, probably putting his feet up on his desk. 

“Take one more lap around.” He directs and you do. You check every pair of eyes, searching for those midnight plum eyes, searching for the coal black hair and the cruel smile. But he’s nowhere to be seen and you feel like a fool.

Another dead end.

You grabbed one last glass before heading towards the door only stopping when someone slid into your path. 

“Leaving so soon?” Your attention snaps up to his face but the eyes are light blue. You don’t recognize this person but something in you stands at edge when he cocks his head to the side. “You look very pretty. Too pretty to not be snatched up to dance.” He offers his hand to you, his voice is familiar. Something in you twists and before you can say no your earpiece crackles again.

“Say yes.” Dazai asserts and you curse inwardly that you can’t ask why. You take in a sharp breath and hesitantly meet his hand. You watch his pink lips turn up into a cheshire cat grin as he yanks you, somewhat unkindly, to the dance floor. You weave through the crowd behind him and when he finally finds a place with a bit of room he spins around and pulls you to his chest. You gasp at the suddenness and force down any harsh words you have because maybe Dazai knows something you don't know about this man. A song starts in the distance, something slow and you force yourself to stay in this man's grip. One hand holding your own, the other sliding around your hip resting just above your ass. If he goes any lower you were going to tell him to eat concrete and with your powers he would. Slowly he pulls you into step, soft music caressing your ears. 

“Not much of a dancer?” He asks and you're annoyed that he noticed but you force a cordial smile and tilt your head.

“That noticeable?” You remark and he smirks as though you were complimenting him in his cleverness. 

“Not much, honey, you’re just a bit stiff. Do I make you uncomfortable?” He asks and it takes everything in you not to nod your head.

“No, I just haven’t danced in a while.”

“Why is that?” He inquires.

“Never been much for parties I guess.” You remark and he nods his head, spinning you around a bit too fast, he dips you in his arms and snaps you back up. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood. 

“You’re too gorgeous to stay out of the limelight, you should be paraded around like an expensive jewel.” Paraded around? Did this guy think that was really a compliment? “If I had you I’d show you off to anyone that would listen.” He winks and you force a laugh that sounds slightly annoyed to your own ears. 

“Thank you, uh, I guess I never got your name.” You say and the man levels you with a look, his hand around your waist tightens just slightly. Even before he reaches up his hand to tilt up his mask your heart clenches. His voice, his eyes were familiar because you knew deep down who it was. Who it was holding you, paradeing you around the room like an expensive jewel just like he said. Someone who you thought was dead, your nightmares filled with his face. You spent weeks in the hospital because of this man, you quit the agency because of this man. 

Lord Francis.

He pulled you closer to him as he lowered his mask back, you froze like prey entrapped by a predator. 

“Honey, you look as though you’ve seen a ghost.” You had. He laughs at your stricken expression, the same laugh he gave you before beating you until you didn’t recognize yourself. “I’ve been waiting a long time to see you again.” His hand that's around your waist slides up your back and around until his thumb brushes your cheek. “I didn’t even leave a scratch on you, Pity.” Something bubbles inside but you're too terrified to act on it. What’s the use or your power if your lips are trembling too much to say something. “Oh, and,” His finger taps on your earpiece. “I hope you don’t mind that I jammed your radio there, we needed privacy.” You tremor at his touch, gaining back a bit of your bite. You part your lips to say something but he shushes you. “I wouldn’t. You use your powers here and I’ll just have my men execute everyone here one by one.” He smirks and all the fight in you dies. You stare at him hard. 

“What do you want?” You ask through clenched teeth.

“What do I want?” He echoes and you swallow dryly. He tilts his head. “Don’t tell me you don’t know, it’s obvious you are here for me.”

“I’m not.” You say defiantly and he laughs. You shove him back hard, he bumps into a few other couples dancing, looking at you as though you were some wild animal. He clenches his jaw, fixing his tie. He walks forward and you're reminded of why you held so much fear. You take a step back into someone.

“There you are, my love. I was just coming over to cut in but it seems you two are done dancing.” That voice. Your heart seizes. You turn and there he is. Midnight plum eyes, coal black hair, that cruel smirk. 

“I think we may have one dance left.” Francis hisses and when he takes a step forwards Fyodor moves gracefully right in his way, somewhat protectively, blocking Francis's path to you. 

“I think the lady should decide.” He intones, that accent hitting some part of you. You clench your jaw. Tonight was a night of surprises it seemed. Fyodor’s eyes slide to meet yours. His hair is styled to perfection, a loose strand falling in his eyes, a dark suit that fits him just right. He looked good but even the devil himself couldn’t get that out of you. “So which is it, my love?” A small feeling bloomed in your chest at the name. 

“Fuck you.” You cursed, eyes sharp. Two words you’d been saving just for him. All your waking and unconscious thoughts were about him,  he haunted your every moment. All that and you’d only spoken to him for maybe fifteen minutes before he tricked you. Francis scoffed a laugh and stepped forwards but stopped short. You extended your hand to Fyodor. “Can I have this dance?” You seethed begrudgingly. Between a demon and the actual devil you knew which to hedge your bets with. Fyodor looked smitten as he took your hand and swept you away from Francis. He didn’t drag you like Francis had and when he turned he softly pulled you into his chest, his hand wrapping around your waist and the fear you had with Francis diminished. Something far dangerous grew. 

“Did you get my flowers?” He speaks softly right near your right ear. You tightened your jaw. 

“Yes, I got your taunts.” You say exsaperatedly and Fyodor pulls back so he can look you in the eyes. 

“I wasn’t taunting you, my love, I was flirting.” 

“Writing, ‘come and find me’ on every note is your way of flirting?” You quip and he nods his head, pursing his lips.

“And you did, look at that, I feel so special.” He breaths. You tighten the grip you have on his hand as he moves you in step with the music. 

“I’ve looked everywhere for you.” You scowl and he tilts his head, letting his eyes fall closed as he breathes in. 

“How I’ve longed to hear that.” He says, opening his eyes and spinning you when the music picks up. “Have I told you how utterly striking you look tonight?” He asks when you spin back into him. He lowers his voice. “Because you look so ravishing I can’t hardly think straight.” Goosebumps rise on your skin, your heart doing a traitorous flip in your chest. The look in his eyes tells you he knows what effect he’s having on you so you force yourself to remember the basics. He betrayed you, used you like a fool. You held onto those two thoughts. 

“I should command you to leave here with me.” You growl and the edge of his cruel mouth tilts up. 

“You wouldn’t have to command me, dear, I’d go anywhere you told me to go.” He implores, his eyes soft on yours. You harden your thoughts. No being tricked. 

“Even back to prison?” You ask and he pulls you into him, his lips just by your ear. 

“I’d go to hell and back if you so wished.” You push him away instantly because your body wants him. You like the things he’s saying and it’s all too confusing and maddeding.

“Stop it.” You manage and he looks at you with cat-like eyes. 

“Stop what, my love?”

“Saying things like that.” You hiss and he just smiles at you. 

“You have the physical prowess to stop me yet you don’t. You let me say these things because deep,” He leans back into you, hand enveloping yours as the music picks up. “Deep down you want to hear them. As long as you like to hear them I will speak forevermore.” You hadn’t noticed how close he’d gotten until his lips barely brushed yours, almost like a kiss from the wind. You let out the breath caught in your throat. If you moved even a centimeter your lips would fully meet his. You're not sure how long you two were like this, the space between you practically non-existent, wanting him to be the one to give in. To put you out of your misery with a kiss. But alas, he pulls back, eyes like molten. “When I saw that man’s hands on you I saw red. I wanted to kill him.”

“Why didn’t you?” You ask, embarrassed that your voice betrayed you, showcasing just how much this moment was affecting you. Fyodor tilts his head.

“I didn’t think you’d like that…” He guessed, but it sounded more like a question. “Would you like me to kill him?” His eyes devoured your face, you swallowed to keep your lips from forming the word yes. You shook your head because you didn’t trust your voice. Fyodor just gave you back his soft smile, something he only saved for your eyes and your eyes only. “Hmm… yes, I guess that might ruin this party… After all, I planned this just for you.” He says and it’s like a bucket of cold water is thrown over you. He planned this ball. He invited everyone. Even Francis. He was probably working with Francis. He must’ve known Francis would rattle you enough to have you fall into his hands. And boy were you falling, shamelessly. You straightened, gaining back some sense of dignity. He was playing you again. Tricking you. You fell for it every goddamn time. Not this time. 

“I think I’d like to change my mind.” You breathed out, your voice strong. His eyes light up at your words. 

“On what, my love?” 

“I think I do want you to kill him.” You say and watch a small bit of shock settle on his sharp features. He barely sucks in his bottom lip, running his teeth over it. He stops dancing, gently pulling you by the hand towards the back of the party. You follow, glancing behind you to see Francis, his eyes locked on you. You weren’t getting out of here unscathed. Fyodor whisks you into an empty room, leaning against the door to shut it. 

“Oh dear…” He starts. You turn about the room before finding him. You put on your bravest face and cross the room back to him. He stays pressed against the door. You pull him in, you're directing this play now. You were tired of playing the pawn. He looks at you as though you’re about to whisper some riddle to him. As if he knows you so well that this would be some kind of joke. You lean your cheek against his and whisper into the shell of his ear.

“If you want me as badly as you claim, you’ll do it.” You say, finding his hand and tightening your hand on his. You feel him shutter against you. You wanted to call his bluff, to finally have something over him. But he just pulls back and you see resolve on his face, you see a man who was going to do exactly as you ask. 

“How would you like me to do it, my love?” He asks and your left to wonder if he really means it. You both stare at each other for a moment as you try and gauge things. “Would you like me to slit his throat?” He offers in the dim light, the music swells behind the door. You swallow because you feel the control slipping. “Shoot him in the head? Although where's the flair in that?” He laughs softly.

“I don’t care how you do it.” You say and he drags a finger across your cheek.

“I must say, I like this side of you.” He’s smiling that wicked smile and something in you pulls and snaps. Your hands travel up his arms and you watch his eyes dart to watch them. You feel out of control but in it all at once.

“You bring it out of me.” You murmur, leaning your body against his, you feel his heart racing in his chest under your palm and you pause. Was he nervous? No, he was playing you so there was no way this was affecting him.

Slowly you dragged your eyes up to his and the way he was looking at you made you pause again. You remember seeing that look on your dad’s face in the morning as your mom sat breakfast on the table, or when you’d all be out and your mom would watch your dad laughing with that same expression. That was the look of love. Fyodor had no right to pretend to care and you felt vindictive, like he was soiling some precious memory.

You grabbed his tie in your right hand twisting it around your hand, holding it tight. Something flashed in his eyes at your somewhat rough treatment, something dark and alluring. You pulled him down and shocked the both of you by rocking up on the balls of your feet to meet his lips. Rationality had flown right out the window and despite the many warnings and reasons, something had ached inside of you, a craving that had finally been understood. In this madness you decided if you were getting played, if this was all some stupid game or a trick to get you killed then you’d at least take Fyodor’s dignity with you. Fyodor’s slender hands slid around your waist pulling you completely against him, his mouth moving eagerly against yours. The kiss was hot and all consuming and completely fucking mad. Your hands found themselves tangling and messing up his perfect hair, tugging it and causing him to groan against your mouth. He might laugh later and say it meant nothing and you might agree, but you both would be filthy liars. Your stomach burned with yearning, a sick and crazy feeling amongst all the others.

His cruel mouth is surprisingly soft, he kisses you reverently at first, as though giving you time to move away and make better decisions but when you don’t it grows deeper and more desperate. He’s wanted it, you can tell by the way he devours you, the way he holds your hips with one arm and runs his fingers through your hair with the other, resting his hand just below your jaw. When you both pull back to catch your breaths, Fyodor’s thumb tilts your head up so he can look in your eyes. 

“Why do you really want him dead?” He asks through a staggering breath. Something in you twists triumphantly because he sounds put out, like you truly knocked him off balance. 

“For the fun of it.” You coo and he cocks his head at that, shaking his head in an admonishing way. 

“That isn’t like you, dear.” He says.

“Ah, cause you know me so well, Fyodor.” You hear him suck in a breath and before you can even begin to understand why his cheeks pinken in the dim light his hands slide up to either side of your face, his lips crashing against yours. You're stunned as he walks you back towards some kind of desk, the backs of your thighs hitting the hardwood. You realize distantly that you probably never had the control in the first place as his hands slide down to the backs of your thighs and lifts you up and sets you on the desk, his body parting your knees as he stands in between them. Your head is tilted up, hands grabbing at his suit jacket. He trails kisses away from your mouth to your neck and you shiver.

“You have no idea how badly I want to know you.” He mumbles against your neck, his hot breath tickling you. “Every single thought you have, I want to know what you're thinking…” His words are barely understandable as he attacks you with his lips. “I want to know who you are and where you are and-”

“You sound mad.” You say, flustered. He was talking crazy.

“You make me feel so utterly out of control.” He mewls, a bit more coherently. “I’ve never met someone like you.”

“You barely know me.” You quip and he pulls his lips away from your neck.

“I’ll take what I can get.” He speaks so softly and your heart swoons. With his hands still on your cheeks he leans in and for the first time, without desperation or shyness, kisses you kindly. You were done for. This went well past revenge. Him stealing the keys and your reaction to it felt utterly stupid now. Were you obsessed just for the sake of it, just for the sake of him?

“Don’t you.. Don’t you want more?” You asked and he looked at you. “If you were different… we could,” You stopped talking, unsure of where your thoughts were headed. 

“You mean if I were good? Maybe made a difference in the world?” He asks and you find yourself nodding your head. “I didn’t care about making a difference in the world,” He starts. “But since it’s your world I feel as though I could change.”

The door opens and you push Fyodor back forcefully. Francis glides into the room, his cape trailing after him. You're hot and flushed as you slide off the desk, you hadn’t noticed your dress had ridden up on your thighs as it fell back down. Francis looks between you both and laughs a cold laugh. 

“Is this how the agency deals with villains nowadays?” He asks and you straighten. Suddenly your earpiece crackles and you hear Dazai again, it takes everything in you not to jump at how loud it crackled.

“Y/n… Y/n? Clear your throat if you can hear me.” Dazai says and you do as you level Francis with a hard stare, unsure what to say. Was this the moment where they both killed you? 

“It’s impolite to interrupt, you should leave.” Fyodor’s voice is hard and suddenly you're reminded of who he is… How could you’ve forgotten?

“Y/n… Francis’s men have been dealt with, use your powers.” Dazai informs, it takes everything in you not to smile at that. When you first fought you weren’t able to use your voice very well, but things were much different now. 

“You're hogging all her attention, Demon, I think she owes me a dance still.” Francis slides his eyes back to you. “Isn’t that right, honey?” He asks, extending his hand. Before you can even part your lips to speak Fyodor, with surprising slyness, drives a knife directly through Francis’s palm, yanking it out as Francis cusses, stumbling back. When Fyodor raises his arm, poised to kill, you find your voice. 

“Stop.” Your power seeps through his thoughts, halting his actions. “Stand off to the side.” You direct and he does, but you didn’t use your powers, he just listened. Francis holds his bleeding hand, his powers glowing. “You haunted my nightmares for so long,” You start, and he looks at you unafraid because he doesn’t know just how good you were with your powers now. “But I've realized something. You're just a man. A weak one.” His powers flare. “Freeze.” Francis is put in a standstill, his blood dropping to the floor. He stares at you, fear mingling in his eyes, you smile a smile you could only learn from Fyodor. 

“I almost killed you once-- I can do it again.” Francis struggles but your compulsion is too strong. 

“You… what?” You hear Fyodor ask, your eyes slide to his and you're staggered by the hatred in his eyes and in that moment you realize that he didn’t know what happened between you and Francis. 

“Keep your mouth shut.” You direct and he looks at you with a sort of defalted expression.

“Y/n? Is everything under control? If so, we're heading in.” Dazai asks in your earpiece. 

“Uh huh.” You answer, turning back to Francis. “Stuff your sock in your mouth and tie yourself to the chair.” Francis straightens, his eyes pleading you to say stop as he reaches to pull off his shoe. You turn to Fyodor. There’s something in the air.

“My love,”

“Don’t.” You say but it hurts, something in you breaks at the expression on his face. “You slipped out of my reach once, it’s not happening again.” 

“My love, you wound me. Is that how you treat all your enemies?”

“Just you.” You say and watch his hurt expression melt into a soft smile.

“That gives me some solace.” He says, his eyes dragging your entire body, possibly cataloging it. You hear Francis mumbling something but the sock is muffling it. You ignore him because turning away from Fyodor right now seems like betraying yourself. 

“You had to know this would happen.” You attested as you hear some slight bit of panic break out into the ballroom, the music halting. The agency was here. Fyodor leans against the desk, one that he lifted you up on mere minutes ago. He lets his eyes fall closed. 

“Yes… I knew.” He starts, opening his eyes back up, those damned eyes. “I don’t mind. What’s love without a little grief?” He asks and you swallow something down. Why did this feel wrong? He was a villain and you caught him so why do you feel as though you're making the worst decision. Fyodor pushes off the desk and reaches for your hand, you let him take it as he kisses your knuckles. “I hope you’ll come back to me soon, my love.” Before you can even think to answer the door bursts open, Dazai and the other members stroll in. You step pointedly away from Fyodor. Dazai smiles warmly at you, ruffling your hair, after all you did just catch two for one. 

The teapot on the counter starts to whistle. It startles you out of your thoughts as you push away from the counter, grabbing your mug. You pull the kettle from the stove top and pour the hot water over the tea bags, a strong scent wafting upwards, calming your nerves. You rip open a few sugar packets, pouring it in, grabbing the cold spoon, mixing it around. You palm the mug, letting the warmth heat your cold hands. Morning was still slow to approach, the sun not awake yet. You’d dreamt of that masquerade from almost three years ago now and slipped out of bed, seeking a cup of warmth. The steam warmed your lips as you took light sips. You heard the bed creak in the distance, feet padding against the wooden flooring. You turn.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” You ask as Fyodor, hair mussed from sleep, emerges from the dark hallway. He rubs his eyes, shaking his head.

“No, Y/n, can’t sleep?” He asks his hands reaching for you. His chest presses against your back, his hands sliding around your waist as he holds you, head on your shoulder. You turn to press a kiss to his cheek.

“I dreamt of the last time we danced.” You say, feeling a grin grow on Fyodor’s lips. 

“Is that right?” He says. 

“Mhmm.”

“You mean where you kissed me then tossed me in prison?” He jested and you turned, pressing your face into his chest, his sweater soft and warm against your cheek.

“Don’t remind me of that.” You blushed, holding in a laugh. He wraps his arms around your back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“It was very cute, you pretending as though you didn’t love me.”

“I didn’t know.” You groaned, muffled by his sweater. He felt him chuckle warmly, reaching and placing your mug on the counter. You pulled back slightly to look up at him as he reached back and turned on the radio, he turned it for a moment before landing on a song you’d never heard before, a soft guitar strumming through the speakers. ‘Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners…’ a male voice sang. Fyodor looked down at you. 

“May I have this dance?” He asks and you breathe out a laugh, your cheeks flushing. 

“God... you're sappy.” You coo, but you accept his hand, letting him dance you around the kitchen.

You made a lot of sacrifices to keep him here with you, things had finally settled, nice and quiet. You moved out of the city into a cottage near the outskirts of your parents hometown. They only knew Fyodor for who you introduced him as and not the person you met him as. You missed your friends from the agency but being here you never felt better in the entirety of your life. You never really cared about making a difference in the world, it felt more like a necessity or an obligation, so leaving the agency for the last time only hurt because you were leaving your friends. But they were all capable. Fyodor and Dazai had figured out some sort of pack and you used your powers to erase Fyodor’s life from anyone who knew him. Which honestly was few and far between. Now he really only existed to you and your family. Which was good, you worried you’d have to protect him for the rest of your lives, living in fear that something would finally turn upside down. But going on almost over two years, life had finally been easy going. 

Fyodor dipped you as the song came to an end, slowly he guided you back up, you giggled softly. He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Ready to go back to bed, love?” You asked and you felt him melt. He liked when you used his nicknames, after all he called you that so many times it just slipped out sometimes. 

“Mhmm.” He hummed and picked you right off your feet, you yelped, laughing hard as he walked you through the dark hallway. He pressed you down against the mattress, caging your body with his. He presses a gentle kiss to your lips, smirking against them. “Love, you’re not tired right this second, right?” He whispers against your lips, your body heats at the implication. 

“I think I could stay up for a bit longer if needed.” You jest and he trails kisses down. 

“Much needed.” 

[louaylorslut]

i watched it begin again…

story: in which harry and y/n meet at the cinema

warnings: talk of loneliness/sadness, trust issues, little insecurity

just a lil baby fluff (one shot!!)

!not proof read guys im sorry im lazy:((

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The sadness you’ve been feeling for the last couple of days has been getting overwhelming.

You just finished your exams and you were over the moon to meet up with your friends, since while you were so busy studying, you barely got to see them. What you didn’t take into account however, is that you only have two friends, who are both in relationships AND also have multiple other friends.

So here you are, alone at home crying on your pillow yet again. You really wanted to see the new Inside Out movie, because while you were killing yourself over school, you kinda had no free time to watch films and you missed out on a lot. So you didn’t want to be even more out of the loop. Plus it’s a good reason to leave the house, clear your head a little, and of course meet your friends.

But both your friends had already watched it with their partners and it made you sad. You feel like they never have time for you anymore.

So you just cry, and cry in your bed like a lonely fucking loser you clearly are. Well I mean what can we do? It’s not their fault is it? Let them be happy. Be happy FOR them.

So that’s what you did, you calmed yourself down and sat in your bed and thought about life. You wanted to be free after this exam season, you promised to yourself you’d do things out of your comfort zone, you swore you’d live.

So that’s why you’re standing here, in que for one of the cinema’s of your capital city (that’s right you took the train just for this, to show yourself how adventurous you really are).

You’re a little nervous you gotta admit, but it feels good, you don’t need other people to have fun, even though you’re bit of a team spirit, you’re sure you’ll do fine on your own.

“Hi” is a word you hear but ignore

“Helloo” you hear the same voice now a little melodically, greet someone again, but now coming from closer, so now you turn the sound’s way and you are greeted with a tall guy with long hair and a kind smile, he looks sort of pretty really, but you don’t know, maybe it’s just the fact that you are really hungry for someone’s attention, something that he’s giving you undivided right now.

“Hey?” you reply with a small but kind, charming smile waiting for what he has to say, a little awkwardly, you try and not to sound intimidated but this guy does intimidate you.

He offers you a kind smile and asks something you weren’t prepared for. “You’re waiting for someone?”

You can’t help but be a little thrown by that, I mean why would he ask that? It’s either he’s a fuckboy and just wants to chat you up or this is some kind of new thing the cinema’s doing to make the que go faster, asking the people still in the que if they have a ticket, or it’s a third one and you look so desperate alone that he maybe wants to give you money because he feels sorry for you. Yeah, pretty sure it’s the second one.

“Oh, no” you reply with the same tight and warm smile, shaking your head a little “It’s just me” now that you think about it you’re cursing yourself WHY would you tell him, what if he’s a creep and he’ll follow you home? I mean it’s dark in the cinema you’ll keep an eye on him and you’ll leave early it’s fine. Your best friend said the after credits scene isn’t worth the wait anyway. You’ll be fine just play it cool.

“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to pry, I just- I was waiting for someone…” the man infront of you confesses with some emotion in his eye.

You notice his fragility, you don’t really have the mental capacity for a heart to heart right now, but who knows, maybe forgetting about your problems can only be achieved if you’re sorting out someone else’s, plus you like to give advice, so, you’ll help the boy.

“I’m sorry, I’m so- I don’t know why I’m saying this i just didn’t expect it” he starts rambling and you see in his eye, besides the regret of him dumping this on you, the emotion they hold is disbelief? disappointment? a bit of bruised ego perhaps?

Now, you can tell he’s a hot guy, he has this skaterboy-but also rockstar look about him, with his black clothes, tattoos, eyeliner, rings and painted nails, oh and also -how could you forget- his long hair.

“You know what forget it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for bothering you, I’m gonna leave” he says embarrassed

“Nodon’tleave-“ you blurt out a bit too loud and fast, before you could stop yourself. Mental fucking self palm. He smirks at that.

“I’m sorry I’m sure you don’t want my pity but I feel sorry for you. I relate- I understand I mean. I always end up rambling and oversharing and people almost never react how I’d like them to, and I don’t want to be one of those people. So, please tell me” you smile at him reassuringly while you both move forward in the que.

“Thanks love, umm that’s it though really, I was ‘stood up’ I guess, but I don’t really care I didn’t know her, like at all, but it really hurt my stupid fucking fragile man ego. It’s sounds so dumb I know, I just don’t understand why someone would do something like that?” he shares his feelings

“Wow, that’s a lot” You make a little joke, making it obvious with dramatic face expressions, he seems to get worried for a second, but then he gets it and laughs.

“O-kay, so I think, it obviously took a lot of guts for you to admit to yourself about that bruised ego, however, if you don’t care about her, you didn’t know her then you shouldn’t really care right?” you say and he nods but lets you continue “I understand that this is a sucky feeling, I mean I personally never been stood up,” you say and he moves his lips into a straight line “but I’m sure it sucks, though” you laugh a little “you might have picked the wrong person to pour your heart out to, I actually support women putting narcissistic men in their places” he laughs and tongues at his cheek “WHICH I’m not saying you are, but that’s how it came off, just sayin” he makes a playful smile, like he’s taking on your challenge of teasing “I think you should’ve tried your luck with maybe that girl over there” you say as you point to a brunette sitting alone, melancholy staring into her popcorn. He looks the way your hand is pointing and laughs “Yeah well I’m sorry but I already chose you, so, therefore, I need to complete my challenge, hate to say it” he says jokingly, putting his hands up in surrender as you move up in line

“Oh yeah? Is that a play from the playbook? Like ‘The Sympathy Sex’ was it? “ you joke refrencing How I Met Your Mother.

“Oh yes exactly, that’s it,” He laughs a little “and if I don’t complete my challenge I’ll cry myself to sleep, and you don’t wanna do that to me so you’re stuck with me for tonight” he jokingly pouts “Yeaah wouldn’t even dream of snagging an opportunity like this from you” you joke

“Why were you coming to watch a kid’s movie for a first date anyway?” you ask curiously as you arrive at the ticket check-in stand. “We weren’t” he says and look at him confused, but before you are able to dig further, the girl behind the stand greets you.

“Hello I have a ticket reservation for Y/N Y/L/N” you say with a kind smile “Yes, for Inside Out 2 right?” asks the girl “Yeah, thank you” you say as she gives you the ticket “Here you go, enjoy the film!” She says with a bright smile. “Hi, um I’d also like a ticket to that, if there’s any left” He laughs a little awkwardly “Yeah there is,” she says “where do you wanna sit?” she turn her little screen towards him while he turns to you “Would you like to sit together?” he asks, looking into your eyes “Sure” you crumble under pressure, why would you do that you don’t know, but that’s how you are, you didn’t even think about another answer. It’ll be harder to get away from him now, that’s for sure.

“Seat next to her please” he says “What was your row?” she asks you while you’re thinking and after a couple seconds you react “Oh, row 7 seat 12” you force out “Okay great” she claps her hands and prints and gives the guy his ticket. And this is when you realise you don’t even know his name.

So when you’re walking away you say “Okay 2 things before I forget or someone interrupts again” you says super seriously but he just cracks a lopsided smile. “One. What’s your name?” you look at him fully while walking up to the food-drink stand. “Harry” he replies casually. “Okay Harry, I’d introduce myself but you’ve already heard my name over there, so my second question is something I already forgot- hold on” as you think you arrive at the food stand and since the line isn’t long you’re already at the front.

“Hey I’d like a medium popcorn and a green tea please” you say and before you could even take a breath Harry ducks in “And I’ll have the same” he says “What are you doing?” you whisper confused “What, I can’t do you a nice gesture after you sorted out my problems?” he asks “Did I really though?” you ask in a high voice while sceptically narroving your eyes “Yeah, you did. Really helped me there” he says with a pointed look “You’re not really gonna pay for this, are you?” you ask cautiously “Yes I am” he says firmly “Okay” putting your hand up in surrender “but don’t expect anything in return” you point at him “Yes ma’am” he nods with a cheeky smile, dimples poppin out.

He pays, “Could’ve told me this earlier you know, would’ve bought more stuff.” you joke defeated, after letting him win, but still trying to have the last word “Oh, do you wanna go back and stack up?” He points back from where you’re just walking away from with his eyebrows shooting up and his smile wide and playful “Just go in the damn theatre” you both laugh while you walk in, hand the check-in guy your ticket, he also tells you to enjoy the movie and then you go to your seats.

“Okay, what did I wanna say?” you ask while thinking “Oh yeah” as you remember “If you weren’t gonna come here with the girl, why are you here now, of all places to ease the pain in your sad little heart?” you ask ironically with a playful pout

He cracks an amused smile “Well, I’ve wanted to watch the film for a bit, but none of my mates know about it, I don’t think, didn’t ask I mean,” he smiles awkwardly “but I always see it on Tiktok, even before it came out, and I was walking by the cinema when my shame was taking me home and I saw it was playing so I figured” he shrugs “Well I think that’s great,” you say “didn’t think guys below the age of 13 would wanna see this” you say before you realise how that sounds and your eyebrows shoot up “NOT- I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean that to sound so judgemental,” you panic out in hurry “It’s fine” he says with a reassuring smile “I mean it like, it’s great, that a guy would watch this without shame like-“ god you are just digging yourself deeper “NO I MEAN ahhh god” you take a deep breath while Harry waits for what you have to say with an amused smile, he’s enjoying watching you struggle “What I mean” you start calmly “is that I know it might be like a stigma in society for men not to like this movie cuz emotions and stuff, but I think it’s really cool that you do” you finally finish smiling out, he smiles back “Thank you” you look at each other for like 10 seconds or so

“So” you tear your stares apart awkwardly, he clears his throat “how come you’re here alone, if you didn’t- i mean you said you didn’t get stood up or waiting for anyone I mean” it’s reassuring to see him be nervous and stumble over his words too, doesn’t look like the type. He looks cool and collected.

“Well, I just finished my exams” you start off “Congrats on that” he says “and I can finally watch movies and do stuff, and just generally get out of the house now, but my friends, they’re busy with their relationships, and other stuff, and I sorta, didn’t have anyone to come with” you say with a week smile and then you form your lips into a line

“You’re not in a relationship?” he asks while looking into your eyes, like he actually cares. You widen your eyes, but quickly collect yourself “No” you say sheepishly looking down “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cross a boundary I just thought maybe you’d come with them you know” he says apologetically “Yeah, no I don’t have anyone” you frown “anyone at all right now cuz you know..my friends, so yeah, been kinda down” he looks at you sadly for a beat “I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell, you don’t really radiate sadness” he says it sympatheticly, you feel like you made things too heavy and weepy so you quickly try to change the subject and lift the mood

“But anyway, let’s not talk about that, we got a movie to watch huh?” you say with a bright smile “Yeah right” he says smiling back, and you start talking about what you expect from the film by the trailer and tiktok you’ve seen until it actually starts.

During the movie you talk a little bit, and even though he doesn’t seem to mind, you kind of hold yourself back because you’re definetely a movie talker, but no one you’d met before had liked that so with that in mind, you keep your thoughts to yourself (no matter how much it hurts, you would’ve done that if you were watching it alone anyway) not wanting to upset him or ruin his film experience.

When it’s over and the lights come on, you guess you probably look ridiculous, you had bawled your eyes out to this movie, it’s insane how much it had made you feel. Harry looks at you and smiles understandingly. Bless his heart, he doesn’t make fun of you for it, probably because he felt the same during too, he just didn’t cry, but he understands.

“Omg I’m so sorry for you to see me in this state, I knew I’d cry I probably should’ve warned you” you say after whiping your tears “Nooo it’s all good, I almost felt like crying too so I get it, you don’t look so bad anyway” he reassures you “Thanks” you smile at each other and then keep walking out of the screening room.

“Hey” you start after a couple of silent minutes, he looks up at you curiously “I’m like thinking, how did you get stood up? You don’t look like the type. You don’t even look like the dating type.” you say a little carefully, not knowing how he’ll react to this. He smirks, but lets his eyebrows shoot up, feigning offense. “Yeah? What ‘type’ do I look like then?” he ask knowingly “Like aa- a one night stand type?” you say quietly. “Oh yeah?” he asks amused “I DON’T MEAN THAT TO OFFEND YOU, I just don’t think you look like the type who likes relationships or someone any girl would reject” oh god. “I mean like you look so tough and like you don’t ask girls out more like they are begging to go out with you, even for one night“ SHUT THE FUCK UP GIRL. He laughs very amused and decides that (no matter how much he’s enjoying this) it’s time to but on end to your misery.

“Sweetheart, you’re doing it again” he says with a warm smile and a kind voice. After you’re torn from your ramble, you have trouble understanding what he means “What” you ask quietly, feeling small “You’re not gonna be able to breath if you keep talking like this” he says and kinda sounds protective, it’s hot wtf “Oh yeah, sorry” you say as you realised what he means “Don’t apologise, I was just worried is all” he jokes “Okay no need to be dramatic here sir” you say now more light-heartedly and he laughs along. “So” you take a breath, much calmer now “would you answer my question?” you ask and he looks at you with fake confusion “And that waaas?” he asks with a playful smile that tells you he knows what he’s doing, so you punch him in the shoulder “Just answer” you say with a pointed look, but still playful.

“Alright so, let’s see, one; am I a fuckboy who doesn’t do dating? If that’s what you were aming for. Yes, sort-of, I’m not a self-claimed fuckboy” they never are “i actually kinda hate that term, it’s cringey, but yeah my friends would probably call me that” he answers “Two; I do get a lot of girls, this one probably got told something that was probably fair, that’s why she did this, did hurt though because as I said I’m not really used to that, that’s what i get for once asking someone out I guess, universe teaching me a lesson or some shit.” you nod along with what he said

“Although, she was rather excited when I asked her out, hopefully she didn’t get kidnapped” he says with a straight face and you look at him in shock for a bit

But then he starts smiling and laughing “I’m just messing with you it’s okay” and then you laugh too. This was nice, you didn’t think it would be.

Sadly you have been standing in the lobby of the cinema for a couple of minutes, so you feel the inevitable but still painful end to this night.

“Well thanks for the food” you say “S no problem” he smiles back “I had fun tonight” he says “Well I’m happy I could take your mind off of the girl” you say offering a warm smile, but Harry’s expression changes to furrowed brows “Don’t talk about her” he says firmly “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hit a nerve I-“ you immediately backtrack “No, it’s not that it’s just, lets not talk about her anymore she’s not worth it, I had fun with you, you were the one I liked spending time with, I’m gonna be thinking about you for the next week, not someone else.” he says passionately.

“Oh well” you are quite surprised by that “i had fun with you too.” “I mean we did watch a movie so I’m sure that helped you too, but you know-“ he doesn’t get why you can’t understand he liked spending time with you, how you keep blaming it on someone else “Darling, it was because of you not the movie” he smiles looking into your soul. You are a bit flustered, don’t know what to say “I’d really like to see you again, if you don’t mind” he says with a waiting expression “and if you won’t stand me up too” he quickly adds “i fear my poor heart couldn’t handle that” he jokes with you putting his hand on his heart before turning his full attention to waiting for your answer

“Um yeah, I think it’d be great” you smile a little “And I wouldn’t do that, i’d text you at least” you tease a little

“But-“ you start, becoming your trust issued, sensible, non love-sick self again. You hold up a finger pointing at him “you are not just saying this to get me to wanna fuck you!” you warn him with narroved eyes “Because i’ll save you the trouble that won’t happen, so you rather decide now” you say firmly standing your ground

He leans back a little intimidated “No, absolutely not,” he starts all serious and you can’t tell if he’s joking “i swear that’s not my intention at all. I mean I’m sure down the line if that’s what has to happen or I mean, you know I-“ he stumbles like an idiot. Again, it’s nice seeing him flustered too. “Okay Harry,” you start like a knowing mom, “give me your number, and I’ll decide if I wanna text you or not” you smile

“Alright” he’s surprised and flashes an amused smile at your boldness “here it is, Y/N” You type in his number and you’re about to say goodbye when-

“Do you wanna do something else? Get a drink or something?” he asks “No I’m kinda full” you laugh lightly “and I also have to catch my train so, I’m gonna go” you say

“Your train?” He asks “Yeah” you confirm. “I don’t live here, couple cities over actually” you say “Oh” he goes, like he’s really suprised and kinda? disappointed? “Soo, can I walk you to the station?” so you walk, and it’s actually quite nice, talking about yourself, him, your friends, his family, your interests, his major in college, his job. The sun is setting as you’re walking. You arrive at the station and he asks if he should wait for your train with you “No reason to, it’s gonna come in a couple of minutes, I’m fine from here” you smile like you’re ending the conversation “Well, then…bye” he says “Bye” as you smile he goes in for a hug but waits a little to see if you want to, you hug for what feels like a while but it probably was like 15 seconds and then you wave and leave. He turns around too and thinks about you on his way home, and when he gets home, and when he goes to sleep, and when he wakes up because he had just dreamt about you. And you do the same.

Maybe you have some weird thing with the universe after all, maybe your karma does even out.

[sweetiecutie]

Pairing: Lily Evans x fem! Reader

Warnings: smut, fingering, infidelity (rip James lol)

A/n: the amount of Lily fics on this app is disastrously small, which is, I think, a crime against humankind. Also, it may look like Lils is mean here but it’s not what I intended, I promise😥

- Shhh, darling, gotta be quiet f’me, okay? Don’t want others to hear what a naughty little girl you are, do we? - Lily tutted, a charming smile curling her lush lips as she fucked her fingers in and out of your sopping pussy ferociously, making your eyes roll and toes curl in tingling pleasure.

You nodded your head weakly, pressing a hand to your mouth, trying so so hard to suppress all the little sounds trying to break past your lips - an impossible task considering the way Lily pinned your with her chubby fingered you so viciously. Wet slippery sounds filled the crammy space of the girls’ dormitories, making you blush even deeper; Lily’s free hand came up to fondle your bare breasts, playing with supple flesh and twisting your nipples almost painfully, bringing you closer to your orgasm.

Your eyes fixated on Lily’s full breasts peeking so teasingly out of the low-cut of her black t-shirt, jiggling so prettily with the way her arm moved rapidly while fucking your greedy pussy. You recognized the familiar tingle settling in a pit of your belly, stomach tensing in sweet anticipation of nearing orgasm.

- Lily, ‘m gonna cum, - you barely whined, head spinning from heat and overwhelming pleasure.

- Cum for me baby, come on, - Lily encouraged softly, curling her nimble fingers a slightest bit, hitting that one sweet spot inside of you, surely sending you right over the edge.

And with that a dam broke. Your body spasmed and trembled ferociously with mind-numbing pleasure penetrating deeply into every muscle, so you had to bite down on your own fingers to subside all the wanton moans treating to spill from your bitten lips. Your eyes shut tight and the only thing your could concentrate on was Lily’s gentle voice, guiding you right through your orgasmic delirium, and surely bringing you back to reality.

Heavy footsteps could be heard nearing the room you were currently occupying, and by the loud boisterous laughter you could tell that it was no other but infamous James Potter. Lily cursed under her breath, pulling your tank top, that was bunched under your armpits just enough to reveal your tits, back down, throwing Marlene’s heavy duvet over your lower half. She made a quick job picking up your long dismissed shorts and panties from the floor and shoving them underneath said duvet, hiding your clothes there.

Mere moments later a door bursted open, hitting the wall with a loud ‘bang’ followed by James’ quiet ‘ooops, sorry’. Gryffindor seeker looked around a messy room, his pretty curls bouncing every time his head moved, glasses sitting low on his nose.

- Lils, dear, here you are, - shouted James cheerfully, nearing red-haired girl in two wide steps and wrapping a bing arm around her mid-section. He places a chaste kiss on her temple before averting his attention from his girlfriend to you, slumping against numerous pillows piled on your bed, still panting heavily. - Y/n, love, you allright?

Curly-haired boy let go of his girlfriend, advancing you and feeling your forehead with the back of his hand, tutting at the unnatural warmth underneath his skin.

- I don’t think she is, she’s burning hot, - tutted Lily in feigned compassion. James nodded in agreement, retreating his hand from your face, a look of sincere worry etched on his handsome face.

- Y/n, it’s may, how did you manage to get a cold? - he chided softly, not really knowing how to help you. You only shrugged weakly, giving him a small smile.

- I think she just needs some rest. She’ll be as good as new after some sleep, won’t you, dear? - Lily inquired and you nodded fervently, agreeing with ginger-haired girl animatedly. - Jamie, can you leave us alone, so I can help this poor thing into shower? - she added, referring to a bespectacled boy who was standing completely lost and clueless in the middle of the room.

- You sure? Maybe I can help with something? I have these really cool cough drops mom sent me, I can go fetch ‘em, - James offered and you felt a little pang in your chest for being a reason why him and Lily couldn’t work out. Red-haired reassured him, that you didn’t have cough and she there was an effective antipyretic potion in her trunk, softly urging him to leave. James only nodded his head and hurried to withdraw from the room. - Get better soon, dear, - he said before shutting the heavy door behind himself, leaving you two alone again.

You met Lily’s green eyes - they were crinkling with amusement and something you couldn’t quite decipher - something sly and playful. She neared you in in a few quiet steps, sitting herself next to you on a soft bed, one hand came to rest on the side of your neck, thumb rubbing the angle of your jaw softly. You looked at her bashfully, eyes shining and cheeks deeply flushed from your recent orgasm paired a possibility of being almost caught by Lily’s boyfriend. Red-haired sight softly, moving her hand down your rapidly pulsing jugular and then heaving chest, fingertips ghosting over your hard fabric-clad nipples teasingly.

- Oh dear, you do look like you need some help. Maybe with my mouth this time, huh?

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Give writers some feedback- we live from that!<3

[rarityroo]

Hoi, may I please ask for Pomni with a fem porcelain ballerina doll reader who despite being physically fragile, still likes to do reckless things like fighting against NPC villains (and Jax if he's being too mean), or dancing too roughly. Even though by the end of it, she still ends up breaking off a limb or two, or another piece of her porcelain body, so she often times needs to be patched up and glued/taped back together by a concerned Pomni

Put me together again

Pomni x fem!porcelain!ballerina reader

Hey! I hope you like this, I tried to include a little bit of everything in the request and also I hope this isn’t too short! There’s also a lil bit of angst but dw it resolved bc Pomni is very supportive and loving. Please send in more requests they keep me motivated, Enjoy! 🫶🏻

You've always been on the wilder side, despite being physically so fragile you always loved being more active, whether you were sent off on an adventure by Caine or stopping Jax's antics. You just loved doing things, unfortunately being made of porcelain wasn't the best material to be made of when you were being adventurous but you didn't mind that much. You just say you’ll be careful and hope for the best, this was enough for you although for Pomni it just caused her to be extremely worried, you didn’t get why, it's not like you've gotten seriously hurt or anything, well until now.

"And you wonder why I worry," Pomni says in a tone that wavers between worried and frustrated, "It's not even that bad!" You say you gotta admit it is kinda bad, "I still got two other limbs don't I?" You knew you were pushing it but you couldn't help but feel the rush of adrenaline every time you did something reckless. Despite Pomni's concerns, you found joy in the thrill of the moment. Pomni sighed, her eyes filled with worry as she scanned over your damaged porcelain body. "You need to be more careful. You're not like the others. You can't just shrug off injuries as easy as they can, you're fragile." God, you hated that word fragile, to be called that felt like an insult, you knew Pomni would never but still it felt so disrespectful. You pouted, about to cross your arms with a huff but you only had an arm and a leg, maybe this was serious. "But where's the fun in playing it safe all the time? I want to experience things, even if it means risking a few chips and cracks, there's barely anything to do here it's like a prison! The fact that Caine lets us go on adventures keeps me sane!"

Pomni shook her head, her expression softening. "I understand, but I can't help but worry about you. You're- you're very special to me, and I don't want to see you get hurt."

You shifted uncomfortably, feeling a pang of guilt at Pomni's genuine concern. She was right; you were different, you hated it but you were and your porcelain body made you more vulnerable than others. "I appreciate your concern, Pomni," you murmured, your voice softer now. "And I'm sorry for making you worry. I just... I can't help myself sometimes. The thrill, the excitement... it's addictive."

Pomni nods with understanding, her eyes holding compassion. "I know. And I don't want to stifle your spirit. It's one of the things I love about you But please, try to be more aware of your limitations. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

You reached out, your remaining hand trembling slightly as you gently touched Pomni's arm. "I promise, Pomni. I'll try to be more careful. For you." Pomni smiled, her expression filled with warmth. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

As Pomni began the process of repairing your damaged body, being so gentle with you, it didn't feel patronizing or out of pity it was just pure love, As Pomni delicately began repairing your damaged porcelain body, her touch was gentle and caring, each delicate movement, she seemed to mend not only your physical cracks and chips but also the doubts and fears in your heart. It was as if her presence alone could soothe the restless spirit within you.

"Pomni," you whispered, your voice filled with emotion as you looked into her shimmering eyes. "I... I don't say this enough, but I... I love you. Not just for what you do for me, but for who you are. You're my anchor in all this, and I don't know what I'd do without you." Pomni's expression softened even further, her eyes reflecting the depth of her feelings. "... I love you too," she confessed, her voice barely more than a whisper.

In that tender moment, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. No matter how many times you fell apart Pomni was always there to put you together again.

Maybe it was time to reconsider your approach to adventure, but that didn't matter right now. After all, with Pomni by your side, you could only see her.

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 5

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: For week 3 of my pride event: Sex. Joel and Blue make everything official. Kayla ruins everything.

ADDITIONAL WARNING: Sorry ya'll this just happened with the story and it felt right for what was happening and the characters.. Warning for brief DV nothing extreme or detailed.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

A/N: Not to sound like a 2012 wattpad writer but I cried writing this.

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Things had been going well for weeks. Kayla had been taking Sarah on weekends consistently, which meant she didn’t have a man to distract her. This, however, meant she didn’t have a man to distract her away from Joel’s love life. Still, a little bit of boundary setting had done well for him, and Kayla had mostly been minding her business. Joel was able to see Blue every weekend, and was even able to spend more time with Tommy and Tess which was rare. 

Tonight, he had just got done having dinner at your house and was cuddling on the couch with you in his arms, all wrapped up. He liked moments like this a lot. Don’t get him wrong, he’d gone to another show with you and had a good time, but he was definitely happy to just sit at home with you.

You’d seemed an unlikely pair, you and him. You liked leather and black and grunge. He liked country and jeans and… well he wasn’t really sure what he really ”liked”, honestly. He loved Sarah. He liked All That, he liked Arthur, he didn't like Barney, he liked Franklin… what did he watch when Sarah was in bed? Sleep. He mostly slept. Sometimes he watched King of the Hill… he listened to Clinton Black, Garth Brooks… Sarah liked Reba, which was nice. Things to do for fun? He liked to play the guitar for Sarah. He liked to go to the park with Sarah. He liked to go with Sarah and Tommy to the roller rink… 

“I’d like yuh to meet Sarah.” Joel said against your ear, arms wrapped around your waste as he lay propped up against the arm rest. “Really meet her this time”

You paused, then sat up to turn and face him. You were smiling softly, eyes wide. “Really? I don’t want you to feel like you have to… but I’d love too…” Something hit you, making you bite your lip. “Introduce me as… what, exactly.” When you saw his eyes widen, you told him he didn’t have to pick a label right now, but he cut you off.

“My girlfriend. If you wanna.”

You squeal, returning to his arms for a hug and a kiss. “Yes!!!”

Joel returns the kiss, pulling you close, sliding a hand to the small of your back as you deepened the kiss, straddling his body. You and him had been making out, and of course the blow job outside the concert, but no sex. Not yet…

“Stay the night.” You whispered between kisses. “We don’t gotta do nothing you’re not ready for, but I’d love if you wanted to stay over”

Joel looked up at you, heart swelling faster than his cock in his pants. He reached up to touch your face. “I’m ready… only if you wanna”

You responded by grinding your cunt over his jeans, kissing him once more. You slide your tongue into his mouth, dominating the kiss and him. When you make it to the bedroom, Joel follows your lead, letting you press him up against the door as you fiddle with his belt. “Got any- mphhh- got any questions?”

His brow furrowed, looking a little confused and flushed. “With what? I don’t know if you know this, but I ain’t a virgin. Kid and all.”

“Yeah, I’m aware.” You chuckle. “I meant with the whole ‘not born with a vagina’ thing.”

The look on his face told you he forgot about that. “Oh. Um… I guess… can you… um…”

“Orgasm?!?!” You bawked, in disbelief that at the prospect of having sex with a transwomen, something he barely knew existed before you, and he’s concerned if you’re going to have a good time. “Yes, I can orgasm Joel. I got a fucked ton of lube by my drawer too, so we’re covered there, baby. Just.” you sigh, guiding him to the bed as you pull down his pants. “Sweetie,” You coo, his big brown eyes gazing adoringly as you return to your rightful place above him. “Just let me take care of you tonight, ‘kay? I got you.”

Awestruck, you nodded. “Yes ma’am.” In his dark boxer briefs, his cock is straining, heavy.

You slowly pull his briefs down, Joel humps his hips up to help and you stare in aw as his cock strings free. He’s hung, absolutely packing and you can see why Tess came back for a few more rounds. Getting a chance to look at him, really look at him this time… Big dick, big eyes, big man… bigger heart. He’s soft, kind. He’s gentle in a way you’d never seen from a southern farmer, a body capable of total destruction if he wanted to, but no room in his heart for it. You couldn’t imagine your sweet, precious man hurting anyone.

When you took him in your mouth, you couldn’t make it all the way down. You’d practice on tat, vowing to be able to deep throat him, but it didn’t seem to matter. He was a mess already. When was the last time he fucked someone? It’d been a few years since Tess and she never mentioned Joel having a girl since Kayla… You wanted to make him feel good. But Joel had other plans. 

“Wanna taste you.” He begs, tugging at your hair. “Really wanna taste you, Blue, please?” Joel is practically whimpering at you like a puppy and god, who are you to deny him? 

“You ever had someone sit on your face, Joel?”

He nods. Good, you didn’t wanna freak him out. He’s not a virgin, but you didn’t think he was the most experienced either. “Stay there.”

You spread your legs over his face, carefully lowering yourself on him when he surprises you by grabbing your thighs and yanking you down. “Hungry boy” You chuckle, delighted with his excitement. He shows no interest in the slight scarring, if he was even paying enough attention to notice; he seemed preoccupied.

Joel devoured you whole, moving and working with your body as you ground yourself on his face. He felt good, he knew what he was doing, that was for sure. Even if he didn’t get out much, he certainly had the enthusiasm. “Fuck Joel, just like that… Just like that…” You’re sure to make sure he knows he’s doing good, you weren’t going to get wet on your own. His nose nudges along your fold as he sucks on your clit when you bend over, jacking him off. You’d love to 69 him -he deserved it- but you didn’t want him orgasming too soon, and the poor guy was already looking like he was just barely hanging on as it was. You cum in his mouth, shouting out his name as you grip his perfect cock tightly, so tight you can’t believe he didn’t spurt all over your hand but you would have forgiven him if he had with the feeling he gave you. Riding his nose and putty lower lip until you’re done taking all your pleasure. 

When you flop over on the bed, Joel is on you in a second, lips sucking in yours desperately. He needs you, you can tell, but won’t ask for it. Joel isn’t the kind to take. He’s a giver. If you asked him to eat you out again he would, and would, and would until you’re ran dry and he’d just lay there, cock hard, cleaning you up. Because that was Joel. 

But you weren’t going to do that to him. Because he deserved to know he was worthy of love, pleasure, happiness.

When you drop on top of him, encasing him in your lubed up, warm cunt. He opens you in a way you’ve never felt before, making you moan onto the stubbled jaw you were kissing, making you whimper in such a way he asked if you were okay. No one on this earth was a better man than Joel Miller.

You rode him, hands pressed against his firm pecs and stomach rubbing against his softness. All the lifting in the world wasn’t going to work his abs, and the man was living off junk and the real food Frank made for lunch. He’s soft around the edges. Joel is a whiny, moaning mess and you savor every single second of it. Breathing in his shuttered exhales, letting it be your breath of life no matter how your legs burned as you bounced. Thumbs to soft inner thighs, you gave until your heart burst.

“I love you.” You blurt out, voice shaking as you admit your feelings, perhaps too soon. You hold your breath, closing your eyes tight as your brace for rejection, or even more scary; his devotion. Upright and spearing yourself on his sweet dick, you continue your movements blindly.

Until you feel him rise up.

Joel surged towards you, wrapping your body up in one arm and gripping the back of your neck with the other hand. Chest to chest, lips to lips, body to warm, adoring body.

“I love you,” He fucks his hips up into your body, muttering against your lips and cheek. “I love you so much, Blue.” And you believe him. 

Joel comes inside after you beg him for it. One orgasm is enough for you, you generally can’t twice but Joel does have you doubting that. He fills you up, clutching your ass and shoulders to him with fingers in your skin and face buried in your neck.

*

You wake up to your landline ringing. 

“Hello?” You answer quietly, but Joel stirs anyway.

On the other side, you hear Tommy. “Hey Blue, Joel with you?”

“Yeah, everything okay?”

Joel is up, eyes wide recognizing his brother's voice. He likes the phone from you. “Tommy? You alright?”

“Jesus Joel, had me worried. Kayla called damn near every bar in town trying to get a hold of me.”

“Shit.” Joel mutters, sitting on the side of the bed. “Sarah okay?”

Tommy said he didn’t know, but Kayla had been trying to call him. Joel hung up, searching for his phone. After calling Sarah good night, it fell under the bed.

You watch him frantically call Kayla, being sure to keep quiet. You know his ex can get jealous and he doesn’t need more stress. He’s so clearly worried, and you are too. It’s 1:30 am, if Kayla is calling then something is wrong with Sarah. “Whats wrong? Where’s Sarah?”

“She won’t stop crying, Joel.” Kayla snaps at him. Is she just calling because Sarah’s crying?

Joel scrubs his face. “Kayla, did you try comforting her?”

“Of course I did, you fucking asshole” You didn’t like how she speak to Joel, and you seethed in your anger, mouth still shut. “She won’t stop screaming. You need to pick her up, I can’t fucking do this.”

Joel sighs, standing up. You begin gathering his things for him. He’s butt naked, dick swinging. “Jesus, okay, I’ll come get her. Just go hold her, okay? She gets scared at night.”

Kayla snapped at him, saying she’s aware. 

He turns to you, apologetic. “I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare fucking apoligise, cowboy.” You toss him his briefs. “Sarah comes first, always. I’d do the same if I had a kid.”

He mumbles, redressing. “She always does this. Begs and cries about never seeing her, but sends her back early. Breaks Sarah’s little heart, you know? The uncertainty. She always dressed up so cute to see her mom, always brings her best art she makes at kindergarten, picture books she can read… even pretends to like Mariah Carey when she used to make me change the station. I can’t fucking take it.”

Your heart hurts for Sarah and Joel. Your own mom and dad never got you, even before coming out as trans or gay. You just were never right in their eyes. Years later, you start to think it was more about them than it was you. Who you are now is who you were always meant to be. You are happy. They are still miserable.

“Go get your daughter, Joel.” You kiss his cheek after he pulls his boots on. “Call me in the morning, or whenever you have time.”

He pauses, stopping to wrap his arms around you, strong and safe. “I meant every single word I said, Blue. I love you.”

“I know.” And you did.

*

After speeding on the empty roads, Joel makes it in record time, parking in front of some jacked up truck and  knocking on the door. He didn’t want to ring in case Sarah fell back asleep. The door flung open to reveal and frazzled Kayla. “About time, she’s been screaming non stop!” She opened the door and Joel looked inside, not seeing her but hearing her scream frantically. Kayla was dressed in a flownsy night top and panties, makeup lightly on like she kept when she first started sleeping over at Joel’s parents.

“Where is she?” He follows the sound of her cries. She sounds absolutely batshit terrified, calling mommy, mommy, mommy. He’s unfamiliar with Kayla place. “Sarah? Where are you baby girl?”

The mommy’s switched to daddy’s with renewed vigor and Joel quickly found the room, running to it but finding the bedroom door locked. He jiggled it, hearing Sarah’s voice on the other end of sobbing for him. Something was wrong. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’m here. Daddy’s here.” He tried to sound calm but turned to Kayla, furious. “Why is the door locked.”

“Don’t raise your voice at-”

“KAYLA UNLOCK IT!”

Kayla grabbed the key from a table nearby, explaining as she unlocked it, Joel’s voice reassuring Sarah she was safe it was okay. 

“She had a nightmare, said she saw you and Tommy die on that stupid fucking farm. Wouldn’t shut the fuck up when I tried to tell her you’re-”

As soon as it was unlocked Joel burst in, dropping to his knees to scoop up his baby and soothe her. Sarah continued to cry, but relief to it.

“I’m okay, my baby. I’m okay, so is uncle Tommy. I promise.” His hands felt her shampoo or conditioner soupy residue in there. Joel told her not to wash Sarah’s hair, that it was washed the night before but she didn’t listen. Kayla never took time with washing it, rinsing it properly.

After getting the number of the last bar that Kayla found Tommy at, he got a hold of his brother when Sarah was yet to be reassured her beloved uncle was alive.

“See Sare-Bear! I’m right as rain! I even promise to make you chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, even if your dad says no, okay?”

Sarah niffles, still clearly shook up and visible shaking in her barbie nightie, but better. “O-okay. You promise you’re not hurt?”

“Not one bit, never been better. Want me to come home?”

“No… no…” But she didn’t sound certain.

Once Sarah was reassured, Joel scooped her up. She clung to her dad, clutching his shirt in her little hands. Joel turned to Kayla with a glare. “You locked my daughter in her room when she thought her dad and uncle were D-E-A-D?” He spelled out, making Kayla roll her eyes. 

“You cuddle her too much, you and Tommy both. She needs to learn to cry it out.”

“One, she’s 5 and had a horrible nightmare. Two, you literally called me!” Then, Joel heard a thump coming from another room and it made sense now. The truck, Kayla underwear and makeup. “Kayla. Do you have a man in the house right now?”

She looked like she was about to lie, then thought better of it. “What I do with my home is none of your business.”

He tried to keep calm, chest rising and falling in anger against Sarah, still gently sniffing. They had an agreement on this. “How long have you known this man.”

She crossed her arms defensively, “A few weeks.”

His jaw ticked. “You brought a man you barely know to sleep over while my daughter is here?” In anger, he turned around, walking to the door but Kayla shouted after him.

“Relax Joel! This ain’t even the first time! Sarah likes him, he’s nice, he-”

Whipping around, Joel took long footsteps towards Kayla, clutching Sarah who had begun crying again. Sarah knew when a fight was happening. “How long as this been going on? Do you leave her alone with him?” Then he realized… if Sarah met him, and never mentioned him… he took a deep breath. “Kayla. Did you tell my child not to tell her father about a man? Did you seriously tell her to keep a secret from me?”

Joel never ever said. “don’t tell mom.” Ever. His heart raced in fear about the potition she was put in. If Sarah didn’t think she could tell him about the man, if anything happened, she’d keep that a secret too.

“Joel, it’s not a -”

“Don’t! No more sleepovers Kayla! No more of this until you can stop doing stupid-”

Seeing the slap coming and bracing for it was the only thing keeping his face from rolling into Sarah’s head. His eyes remained closed, blurring with tears. Not of pain, but humiliation. Knowing Sarah just heard her mom hit her dad. He’d always managed to keep that shit away from her… 

“What, are you gonna cry now?” She mocked, but Joel wouldn’t have it.

“Sarah, sweetie, say goodbye to mommy. We’re going home.”

Sarah waved goodbye, but didn’t speak. Joel took her into the car and buckled her safely in, pulling a blanket over her legs in her nightie. He’d send Tommy to get the rest of her things tomorrow. Right now, he needed to get Sarah home.

Joel laid in bed with her, holding Sarah close to him on the twin bed. He tried to lull her back to sleep, but she hadn’t stopped sniffling and gently crying the whole ride back, even as Joel tried to distract her. 

“Why doesn’t mommy like me?” Sarah mumbled against Joel’s arm, her back to his chest.

“Oh baby…” He kissed her hair. “Your mommy loves you so, so much. She and I think you’re just the coolest kid ever.”

She thought on this for a while. “You know the bird I made in kindergarten? Where I glued the feathers?”

“Yes baby, I remember.”

“And the sheet where I wrote my name 5 times?”

“I remember, it looked so good.”

“I brought them… and last night I saw them in the trash.”

Joel’s eyes welled up with tear, tucking his face into her hair to hide it. “It must be an accident, Sarah. We get so many bills, it probably just got lost in the piles.”

“I put it on the fridge for her.”

“It must have fallen…” Joel hated lying to her, but… “You know, just the other day your mom called me to tell me how she’s so proud of you. How she thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the whole world and so, so smart.”

Sarah’s bedroom door cracked open, Tommy appearing.

“Hey Sare-bear” He spoke gently. “Got room for me?”

Joel scooched over and saw Sarah smiling for the first time. Daddy was comfort, but Uncle was joy. “Yes!!”

As Tommy took off his boots and jacket, Joel enlisted him to his lie. “Tommy, remember how her mom was telling us how proud she is of Sarah?” 

Tommy got the jist. “Oh yeah, she’s always talk’n ‘bout you. Can’t get her to stop, really. Says you know more about dinosaurs than anyone else on the planet.”

“Yeah! Because I saw Jurassic Park!”

Joel shot Tommy a look but let it slide. At least Tommy doesn’t tell Sarah to keep secrets. “Yup. See baby? She loves you so much.”

“Good” Sarah yawned. “Because I love mommy. I wanna be just like her when I grow up.”

The three of them fell asleep like that on the twin bed. Sarah snuggled right up in her daddy’s arms, uncle Tommy on the other end holding her little hand. 

In the morning, Tommy made them all chocolate chip pancakes.

Lets get on the fight Kayla club!!!!!

Tommy loves his neice....

Sarah is perfectly safe, I promise.

please lmk your thoughts!!!! Thanks for all the cool works with this pride event!!!

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[upslapmeal]

Boom

So I had vaguely seen things about Moffat coming back, but I'd always interpreted the 'next' series as being... the NEXT series. after the upcoming one. anyway BIG ol' surprise in the opening titles lol

are these those anglican marines back from what?? s5? s6?

....is this a flashback? I think those guys had the same name

we're finding out he swapped a duty and now he's injured

oh wait it’s not a flashback lmao

this is where being bad at faces fails me

is this an american ambulance situation where they cost too much and ruin your life?

ah

they ruin your life in another significant way

‘villengard’ assuming this is pre-bananas lol

*dramatically throws open tardis doors* 'someone needs me!!!'

Fifteen’s theme is so good

Moffat??????? well that explains the anglican marines

Fifteen is excellent at answering questions. shame they're not the questions Ruby is asking

‘one wrong move and boom’ eyy title drop

when can Twelve and Fifteen bond over capitalism and being scottish

‘i’m not even screaming. yet.’ yeah

‘it’s going to be tricky’ ‘it’s going to be a MOMENT YEAH’

gotta think of health and safety at war what can I say! only the finest ventilated air before our ambulances murder you

Ruby on her first planet <3 (though only now after 6 months?? Fifteen you've been slacking clearly!)

‘he was being sMELTED??’ ‘it’s a good word smelted’ 'NOT AT THE MOMENT???’ obviously Fifteen's not having the best time but poor Ruby lmao

‘ooooh I am. havin’ a day 🙃🙃’ never has a Doctor been so me. minus the landmine.

Ruby don’t make the Doctor laugh when he’s balancing on one leg!!

oh man the Doctor really IS having a day

ok those soldiers are definitely not the same guy lol but I could have sworn they had the same name!

‘everything is possible. everywhere is a beach eventually’ RIP Mundy left out of that lil callback to earlier

Ruby grabbing the gun, shooting it and yelling is v much banging the pipes in Space Babies lol

love that her instinct is make noise and yell, think later

meanwhile Splice is chilling with her lil photo album

…did I mishear shoot me little bitch??

oh lol ‘shoot me a little bit'

nooo Ruby!!

‘I can’t think unless I’m talking and I can only talk to you’ oh that is VERY Twelve Clara

and also a lot to put on someone you’ve known for so little time that they’re only just seeing their first planet RIP

Fifteen: do you get it do you get it!! Ruby: 😴

'there are no Kastarions’ big Doctor’s Daughter vibes

Thirteen: have faith!!! <3 Fifteen: >:(

love fifteen giving his big speech with snot running down his lip. giving Nine in Dalek

‘how much of the countdown left’ ‘3 minutes maybe’ I mean you said 5 minutes 4 minutes ago

speaking of which what is the point of assessing for life and having a countdown if it just blows anyway

(to give it flashy lights and features I know)

bud I appreciate the romance going on here but now is maybe not the time

oh yeah very much not the time

…..delighted that Ruby hasn’t been smelted. yet.

(.....also 3 minutes have now passed. where is the boom the title promised!!)

the deaths are stacking up and Splice is just having the best chill time lol

oh the ambulance is the twist lady!

just for the record it took that failsafe 8 minutes to trigger

lol poor confused Ruby. honestly rude to die and miss the action

there’s the closeup from the trailer!!

who knew that serene deep breath came shortly after prolonged near death by landmine

‘he’s not gone. he’s just dead’ <3

‘you keep the faith Splice’ there we go

‘snow isn’t snow until it falls’ maybe it’s just my love for Twelve’s era but I’ve been endeared to these nonsense Moffatisms lol

ok looking at the credits those characters have different names but they're still similar! you can’t have two characters with similar names played by incredibly similar-looking people and expect us to tell them apart??

WAIT HANG ON

varada sethu????? as in new companion???????

is Mundy coming back?????? or is this a Karen Gillan situation?

Really enjoyed this one!! Easily my fave of the first three, very tense and WHAT a showcase for Ncuti!!! Absolute powerhouse. However. On rewatch I really did notice how much Ruby was written like Clara lol. Ah Moff you've got your strengths and weaknesses like us all

[chaotic-mystery]

Not A Survivalist Girl

Part 7: Gore Whore

Pairing: Joel Miller x afab!reader (this is before he meets Tess)

Summary: With everything between you and Joel being tame for now, you celebrate Halloween, kinda. Please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface. I wanna be in the next chapter! (this can be read as a stand alone so it's fine if you aren't caught up on previous chapters but I recommend to see the dynamic.)

Warnings: 18+ only, MDNI. Age gap (alluded but not specific) Cute lil domestic-ish Joel, angst, Joel talks about Sarah just for a moment, descriptions of death (it was a clicker im sorry), swearing, Joel yelling and being cranky, mentions of pills, chef Joel makes his guest appearance, mask kink, daddy kink, bitch all the kinks that go hand in hand with those two sdknldnd, pet names (baby, sweet girl, little girl, daddy, Joel refers to himself as daddy, sir) unprotected p in v, spanking, choking, breath play, that rough nasty sex, manhandling, creampie. I think that's it but lmk if I forgot anything!

|| word count: 5.6K || I don't do tags anymore so follow my notif blog @chaoticnotifs to be a good baby and never miss anything from me again. ||

Authors Note: Happy (early) Halloween, sluts! This is a way long overdue chapter and I'm sorry it's taken a million years to get to you. I just want to get this out of the way now and then we can get to the story... Gianna and I have both mutually decided we can't keep up with the story and write together with our schedules, it's not fair to you. Moving forward it'll just be me writing the story and I hope everyone understands. It won't be the last time you see us collab together, I promise! 💗 Also- Thank you to the Horny Bitch House for helping me with bits and pieces of this, I love you all 💗

The window ledges filled with orange and yellow leaves as the end of October was coming full steam, the warm days turning colder as each day passed. 

You and Joel were on the best terms the two of you had been on yet. He grew more patience with you and you learned not to piss him off so much for shits and giggles. 

It was mutual. 

“You awake, sweet girl?” Joel murmurs against your cheek as he peels back the covers. You try to bury your head in the pillows as much as you can to hide from him, hoping he’ll give you five more minutes to sleep since you two were up late last night carving out pumpkins that you insisted on doing. 

“Naah, come on baby we gotta get goin’. Need to look for supplies before it starts to get too cold to go out all the time.” His hands wrap around your warm torso and wiggle you around, biting at your ear gently. 

Joel had been up for hours like typical old men do and he knew you hated being woken up but he had a point. Your medicine supplies were getting low with how many times you’d stabbed your hand with your knife trying to learn how to use it better but that was neither here nor there. 

“Can I just get five more minutes, pleeease?” You whine and try to yank your pink blanket over you that was tucked by your side but Joel already sees your idea and snatches the blanket from your hands before you even get the chance to unfold it. He chuckles and stands up adjusting his jeans, sniffling obnoxiously. 

“No can do, doll. Get up, let’s go.” A hard pat to your ass makes you jolt and groan, finally sitting up to look at him. 

“Seriously, Joel? We have to go right now?” 

He stands between your legs that hang off the side of the bed and you rest your head against his belly, Joel’s hand cupping the side of your face.

“We gotta get movin’ soon, I already let you sleep way later than I was originally going to- you’re welcome by the way. I already packed coffee and snacks because I know your ass would start to bitch and moan about halfway through the trail that you’re hungry.” 

Your brows furrow as you look at him, mouth agape in offense. 

“Excuse me, just because I admit I bitch and moan doesn’t mean you can say it whenever you feel it’s needed.” 

Joel rolls his eyes at you playfully and kisses your forehead before he walks to the open bedroom door. 

“Yeah whatever, get dressed. I’m leavin’ in ten minutes with or without ya.”

Joel shuts the white wooden door and you scratch the back of your head before getting up to find an outfit for the day. 

Naturally you wanted to wear whatever you thought was cute but Joel having you outside so much was teaching you very quickly that comfort comes before cuteness. No low cut shirts today, a sweater and jeans to make him happy and to keep you warm for once. The sweater had tattered spots and a few holes but not enough to make you cold by any means. It just looked a little grungy and Joel noticed right away. 

“Baby, do you have to wear that sweatshirt? It’s got too many holes in it and I don’t wanna hear you tell me you’re cold as soon as we get outside.” His hand meets his hip as he finishes drinking the coffee from his mug. 

You look down and think about it for a second, “I mean…I’ve got somethin’ on under it, I think it’ll be fine. I’ll bring my jacket just in case, it’ll be fine.” You reassure him and grab an apple from the almost empty fruit bowl sitting right next to Joel’s arm. 

His eyes lock onto every moment you make and you can tell he’s slightly annoyed. As you turn around and grab your pack, you look at the door and ask him, “What's the matter now, Joel?” Your taunting tone makes him scoff a little, he comes up behind you and tucks your jacket into the arm loop of your pack. 

“I don’t wanna hear any complaints today, since you’ve got it all figured out, ok?” He spins you around to face him, hands still holding your biceps tightly. 

“Promise.” You give him a cheeky grin and kiss his cheek. He sighs deeply at your attempts to be cute and he walks to the front door to open it for you to head outside. 

With your knife in your pocket and Joel’s guns tucked in the sides of his packs, you two start to make your way to wherever the hell he wants to go. 

Joel never really tells you much about your destinations when you have to go out on supply runs, he just hopes you won’t ask because he knows as soon as he brings up directions, you’ll get lost. 

“So did you have fun carvin’ pumpkins last night? I like the face you made on it, it’s cute.” You ask him while you grab onto his ring and pinky finger, closing your hand around them. 

“Can’t tell ya the last time I carved a pumpkin. Sarah..she hated the inside of pumpkins- never wanted to touch the guts. So I’d empty it out for her and she’d draw where she wanted me to cut it and by golly she’d make some funky faces for them pumpkins.” 

His face wasn’t totally in your eyesight but just by his tone you could hear the smile on his face. You could tell he felt better talking about her, sharing all the memories he had of her. 

“Did she have a favorite Halloween movie?” You ask, catching up to him now so you can see his face. The fog from the river was clearing but it was still gloomy and yet Joel seemed to be shining while he gushed about his daughter.

“She loved Hocus Pocus. Insisted on going as the three sisters, one for each year. I couldn’t get her to turn that movie off, hell she’d watch it year round. Begged me to get a black cat so she can have a “Binx” of her own. What she didn’t know was that I planned to get her one for Christmas the year the outbreak happened…but we never reached December.” 

His voice cracked and he looked down at his boots kicking up leaves. 

“What about you darlin’? Any favorite Halloween movies you had?”

Joel tugs on your sweater sleeve and smiles softly at you while you hesitate to answer. 

“Don’t laugh, but I was into the really bloody, turn your stomach in knots kind of horror movies. Saw, Final Destination, Thirteen Ghosts, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Bride of Chucky, shit like that. Scream is also up there, and even though it's super silly, Elvira: Mistress of The Dark was also my favorite.” He could feel your excitement rushing to your fingertips as you started to remember all the silly shit you used to watch. 

He stops in his tracks and looks at you with shock written all over his face. 

“I find it so hard to believe that Miss Scared of Everything used to watch shit like that. I call bullshit.”

You take two steps forward to him and get close to his face, a smirk written all over your mouth. 

“Just admit you didn’t have me all figured out, it’s okay baby I forgive you.” You taunt and barely kiss his lips. 

Joel grunts as you pull away too quickly for his liking and before you can protest, you’re wrapped up in his arms and held tightly against his chest. His teeth nibble on your earlobe just enough to make you squeal and try to get free. 

“Where you think you’re goin’, baby?” 

The way he says it drives you crazy, in the way you could just eat him up here and now. He had that look in his eye, the same one he had that night he took you by the fireplace, it was passion and lust, like he was falling for you all over again. 

“If you wanna make it back to the cabin before dark, you better let me go and keep it pushing, sir.” 

Sir. It’s one of the many nicknames you have for him that drives the nail in deeper, pushing him to want you more than he did before you got in his face. He likes the fact you don’t back down to him, you match his energy. 

Rightfully so. 

He stares at you for a little too long before letting you slip from his arms, taking his hand once more to continue walking. 

~

With hours passed you now and your feet starting to ache, you finally end up in a fairly sized town that Joel found a while ago before he met you, hoping whatever he found would still be here.

There wasn’t much left to rummage through, the houses had been picked apart for years now, glass windows broken out and front doors ripped off the hinges like a stampede used for a pathway. 

“Just over here in the mall, I hid a bunch of stuff away pretty good, I think at least. C’mon girlie, keep up.” With him in front of you leading you to the entrance, you pull your knife out just in case. Joel lets go of your hand and there’s a small pang to your chest but for your own safety he grabs one of his many guns, cocking it to be ready. 

You slip behind the door and hold it open just enough for Joel to squeeze through and your flashlights illuminate what used to be a fun and exciting place. Frozen in time and littered with what it once was, you could almost see how it started out. Benches everywhere, shops with displays still intact and caked with dust, parts of the ceilings knocked out and covering tables with chairs tucked underneath just wishing someone would pull it out and sit at it one last time. 

“Okay-here’s what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna get as much as we can find and hurry up and get the fuck outta here. Don’t wanna spend a lot of time here, do you hear me?” He shines the light right in your eyes, his words short and dry. 

You shrug and raise your eyebrows, “Yes, I hear you.” You push the flashlight out of his hand and he kisses your forehead sweetly before walking on, lighting up his path as much as he can. There was a soft tingle on the back of your neck and it wasn’t the good kind. It was as if something was lurking behind you in a scary dark corner, something you couldn’t see. It took you no time to catch up to him, lightly holding onto his bag as he took calculated steps between the rubble. 

“All those horror movies you watched and yet you still can’t hold your goddamn knife correctly. What did I tell you about holding it like that?” Joel’s shoulders drop as he turns to you, adjusting your hand on your knife. With a scoff and a slight head shake, he was off again and walking towards the pharmacy. You couldn’t help but notice the halloween store across from it, your heart racing as a sliver of normalcy was in your reach. The ginormous pit in your stomach to feel like you were back in your old life, digging through decorations to beg your mom to buy while she looked disgustedly at the skimpy costumes. 

“J-Joel…can we go in there? Please? I just wanna…look.” You must’ve patted his shoulder a dozen times which only granted a stern look and the annoyance so apparent on his face. 

“I’m sorry, were you conscious when I said we are not going anywhere except the pharmacy?” Rude. 

“Yes, thank you. I just wanna look. Twenty minutes tops, please?” Being with Joel tested your patience every single day, you never had to negotiate or handle being told no. 

Not until you met him.

Joel takes a hold of your pack strap, yanking you towards him, “Help me get all this stuff and I’ll think about letting you set foot in there, clear?” His dark eyes glimmer in the faint daylight ripping through the broken ceiling. You try to pull yourself away from his personal space but his eyebrows raise awaiting a response from you. 

“O-kay!” You finally free yourself and stand up, walking straight into the pharmacy. Garbage scattered everywhere and almost empty shelves holding things that weren’t useful in any way. Extending your arm out to run your fingertips against the items, you feel the dust and dirt coating them as you walk down the isles slowly and look for anything you could stash away in your little hideout for the winter. 

Joel dips into the backroom and into a storage closet, climbing on top of a chair to lift the ceiling tile to the side. Put away inside an old duffle bag was bandages, rubbing alcohol, tons of supplies that made up first aid kits, sewing needles and thread in case you have to stitch someone up again, and of course some miscellaneous pills he took from the shelves of medication, knowing exactly what each one was. 

You could hear him rummaging around behind you the further you got from him to look at the back wall full of sunglasses, untouched on the spinning racks of their display. 

A pair catches your eye, gold tinted aviators that just scream 70’s. 

“Joel, come here! You have to try these on!” You tuck the pair for him under your arm and grab the biggest rounded frame you could find, pushing them up the bridge of your nose. 

Shoving the duffle bag onto his broad shoulder, he makes his way to you and his flashlight shines at your feet, up your body slowly until you turn around and show him what you found. 

“I think you need a pair of sunglasses, baby. For when you’re outside workin’, looking all sexy for me.” You tease and carefully put the sunglasses on his face. He shuffles to the side of you and dips down to see his reflection in the mirror, groaning in disgust. 

“No, absolutely not. The hell I look like wearin’ those.” Joel pinches the arm of the eyewear and hands them back with zero interest. 

You tuck them away into your bag anyway and grab the smoke colored square framed pair with rhinestones all over them. He didn’t wait for you like usual as he was already by the doors you entered once before. 

“You get ten minutes and then we’re going back.” He lifts the metal gate just enough for you to slip under and you hold it open for him, letting it thud against the marble floor as he stands up with a slight groan and a rub to his knee. 

The adrenaline was pumping through you, feeling at home once more even if it was just for a split second. 

The VHS tapes covering the walls, toys and costumes everywhere, DVD case covers scattered around your feet. It was everything you wanted and more, to feel like you were who you once were before all of this ripped you from the life you took for granted. 

“See anything you maybe uh…wanna decorate the cabin with?” Joel irrupts from behind you, hand on your hip slightly. You turn to meet his eyes, the innocence in your eyes making him smile. 

“Don’t go crazy, just a few things because we gotta carry it. Just a little bit of stuff to make it feel a little more lived in.” His tone was patient and understanding that this meant a lot to you. 

“Really? You mean that?” The way you kind of didn’t believe he was being serious was enough to warrant a nod from him with a silly look on his face, almost like you offended him. 

“Well let’s go, you got eight minutes.” He smacks your ass again and wiggles it a little before holding his flashlight above your head so you could see where you were walking. 

So much to choose from and not enough time from Joel. You wanted it all. You wanted the movies to feel a little better but you knew he wouldn’t carry the display TV back to the cabin and he would never watch the shit you’d pick out anyway. You settle for two strings of glittery garland that you knew he’d find something to complain about, a few little ceramic ghosts to put in the windows and the pair of cuffs you took out of the package to a cop costume. Kneeling down and slinging your bag off your back, you start to put everything away, until the cuffs jingle against each other. 

“What was that you just put in there?” You look up at Joel and you don’t answer, contemplating if you should play with him or not. His eyes flicked to your lips as he licked his, standing his ground over you with his hands on his hips. 

“Answer me, lil lady.” 

Fuck.

You were made and you knew he would immediately tell you to put them back, that there’s no way he’d let you cuff him to the bedpost and ride him until the sun came up. 

Just as you were about to answer, a clicker busts through the door from the storage closet behind you, growling and clicking as it charges towards you. Joel takes your hand and pulls you off the ground, running for the entrance when one of your sweater holes gets caught on a broken clothing rack and pulls you right from his grasp.

He grunts loudly as the clicker gets closer and closer to you while you tug and try to free yourself but to no avail, your knife fell from your other hand when you got pulled back. 

The squelch of Joel’s knife twisting in the clickers chest catches your wide eyed gaze as you pant and try to scoot away but your boots slip against the trash, the body falling right in front of you. 

It was still squirming and reaching at you, looking you dead in the eye as it grabbed the tip of your shoe. 

Joel’s boot presses against its head to hold it against the floor as he shoots it dead. The grunting and squealing came to a silence while Joel looks over at you, his chest rising fast as he holds out his hand to help you up. 

Clutching his wrist to pull yourself up, you shake off the bits of flesh that got on your boot and you can see his nostrils are flared still, eyes burning with anger. 

“What did I tell you about that goddamn sweater! You almost got yourself fuckin’ killed, jesus christ.” His voice booms as he shakes you a little before pulling you into his embrace. 

Joel catches his breath and pets your hair softly. 

“Baby I’m-I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry- are you okay?” 

Your body still shudders against him and you nod in his chest. 

“I’m fine, Joel. Let’s go h-...to the cabin.” It hurt him to hear you stop yourself from saying the cabin was home. You wanted to call it home so badly but the thought of you getting so comfortable with him to the point that you'd call his cabin your home, scared you to fucking pieces. 

~

The cabin was dimly lit from what little sunlight you had left and your boots clunked against the wooden porch as you opened the front door to the living room. It was kind of a quiet walk home, not a lot of words shared between you and Joel. He didn’t want to pry and nag about how you were feeling but he wanted to know if you were still mad at him. Some small part of him felt like an ass for yelling at you after he told you he’d work on that but in his defense he was terrified at how close to death you got. 

“You hungry, baby?” He asked as he shucked off his bag and jacket before kicking off his boots. You unlace your shoes and kick them next to his, shaking your head no. 

He sighs deeply, shoulders dropping while his hands go to your waist and pull you into him. 

“I know that’s not true, those snacks were gone before we were even halfway there. Now, tell me what you’re hungry for and I’ll make it for ya…” He rocks you back and forth slowly as he hums softly against your head.

“Spaghetti..maybe? I noticed you had pasta in the cupboard next to the stuff you said wasn’t just for any ol’ meal and..” Joel grabs your face lovingly, the tender touch of the rough man was somehow so calming to you. He tried his best to be delicate with you when he could see you needed it the most but this is Joel Miller, how soft could he naturally be?

“You want spaghetti, we’re gonna eat spaghetti. You can decorate while I get dinner going, how’s that sound, sweet girl?”

His smile grew to match yours and he placed his lips on your forehead before he went to the kitchen to rummage through the cabinets to find all the pots and ingredients he needed. 

Picking up your bag with all of your Halloween decorations stuffed inside you begin to put your ghost figures in small places you know Joel won’t accidentally bump them and knock them over. One in the windowsill by the kitchen sink, one by your side of the bed, and one in Joel’s room by his clock. Peeking around the corner to see where exactly he was and his back was to you while he drained the pasta from the water in the sink, you dip back into his room with the little black cat figurine you took at the last second after he killed the clicker and walked away from you in the heat of the moment. He was frustrated with you but you still took it knowing you’d never be there again and you’d regret never taking it for him.

There it sits on his table tucked right by his clock. It was only a matter of time before he would see it and question why you did something nice for him. Joel couldn’t understand that you wanted to do everything for him. Being with him in this predicament and such a short time made it feel like you’d been there for years, like you could spend the rest of your life here with him. 

“Let’s eat, honey!” He booms from the kitchen and you can heat the plates being set on the table. When you round the corner to face the kitchen, you see the table set with candles of all shapes and widths. This was the most special he’s made you feel yet, besides carving pumpkins with you.

“Cmon, gotta surprise for ya when we’re done eating.” Joel was trying to hide a devilish grin but he was terrible at it, the glass to his lips not being a good shield from your eyes at all. You furrow your brows at him as you sit down hesitantly. What could he have planned that you don’t know about? 

“A surprise? Since when do you do surprises?” Your fork clanks against the plate to scoop up spaghetti, the steam rolling off the top hits your hand and makes you shiver slightly. 

Joel squints playfully and shovels the warm pasta in his mouth to chew thoroughly before answering you lowly, “Yeah alright, keep bein’ a smartass and see what it’ll get you.” His dark eyes glimmered behind the candle flame and you felt that same feeling in the pit of your stomach that you had when you first met him. You were desperate for him at this point and it was almost comical it wasn’t written all over your face. 

The two of you talk about whatever you could think of as you indulge in the best meal you’ve had in months. You could only take so many goddamn stews and soups before it was enough, Joel on the other hand could make anything work for a meal and be fine. 

“Did you wanna put the garland on the railing outside while I clean up this mess?” He chugs down the rest of his water and wipes his mouth with his napkin, looking at you with a hidden agenda. 

“Oh, shit! I forgot about that!” You practically fall out of your chair to get it from your bag and you slip on your boots to go out on the porch. 

“Take a flashlight with you!” Joel yells from his seat and all he sees is your hand reach through the front door to the hall tree that held all your stuff, grabbing your flashlight before shutting the front door once more. 

He chuckles to himself as scratches the back of his head thinking about you and how you always kept him guessing your next move. While you wrapped the orange and black garland around the stair railing, little did you know Joel wasn’t actually doing the dishes. He was in the bedroom unpacking the duffle bag from earlier at the pharmacy, tucking away the pills in the bottom drawer in the bathroom. His backpack was sitting at the end of the couch and he opened it, taking out the one thing you didn’t know he stashed. 

A ghostface mask. 

Just as you stand up and back away to observe the work you did, a tall figure standing on the side of the cabin makes you freeze in your place. Quickly you realize it’s Joel with the way he’s standing and the knife at his side. The corners of your mouth turn up and you walk towards him, tucking your hands behind your back. 

“What the hell are you doing?” You question and tug on his jacket teasingly. 

No answer. 

All he does is cock his head slightly at you with his knife still at his side. 

Your excitement wets your panties and you can feel your fingers going cold but the adrenaline running through your body keeps you warm. 

“Joel seriously, what are you doing?” Your tone is a little more firm this time. 

He raises his arm to point his knife towards the house and he mutters from under the mask, “Run. If I find you, I fuck you. My way.” 

Your jell-o feeling legs stumble backwards to take off towards the house, Joel charging at you in no time. He knew there were only so many hiding spots in the cabin, that was the point. You went for the obvious place but you knew he’d get a laugh at it, under the bed. 

The weight of his boots moved on the porch and the front door swung open widely, smacking the wall behind it. It was seconds after he walked in the cabin that you had to cover your mouth and nose so he couldn’t hear the small pants of breath coming from under the bed. With your feet at the end of where the bed is, you watch closely at the door and soon enough his boots are in your vision. You know he won’t hurt you too much but god damn was your heart racing. 

Joel slowly makes his way to the door frame of the bedroom and he stops abruptly to inspect the room. Slinking his way closer, your eyes follow his every move and when he stops at the end of the bed you knew he knew. 

With a rough yank on your ankles, Joel quickly pulls you out from under the bed and you squeal in excitement. 

“No, no, no please, don’t hurt me.” You protest and he tosses you face first on the bed, ripping your jeans below your ass cheeks. A groan bellows from Joel with a sharp smack to your ass and it sends you whimpering with your head between your arms. 

The cold blade of the knife traces over your lower back and your wiggling reaction earns a chuckle from Joel before the ripping of fabric fills your ears. He cut your fucking panties. Slipping the fabric off of you between your thighs, he couldn’t help but admire the wetness on them. 

A thud hits the headboard and you turn around to see his knife wiggling as he just finished driving it into the wood before he smacks your ass again. 

His rough hand meets the middle of your back and presses down firmly so your ribs lay comfortably on the bed as his free hand unbuckles his belt slowly. 

The only thing you could hear was his belt buckle hitting the wooden floor and the sound of his boots hitting the rug while he simultaneously rubbed his thumb over your aching clit. 

“F-fuck, daddy yes, I need you inside me please.” You try to claw at him but he just shoves you down on the bed again. Joel lifts the mask up momentarily to spit on your asshole, eagerly watching it drip down over your entrance and through your sticky sweet folds. 

He whips out his long hard cock to slap your asshole with the tip and he snickers as he sees you tense up thinking he’s going to fuck your ass. 

“Not yet, baby. Now…stay still for daddy, yeah? Be a good pretty girl for me.” He groans as he slips inside your pussy. You can hear his thick breathing and cussing reverberate off the mask and it makes you spread your legs further apart, wanting to please him in any way you can. 

There was no easing into it, Joel’s hands grab your wrists and pin them against your back before his hips begin slamming against you harshly. When Joel got to have his way with you, he wasn’t gentle with it. All the pent up frustration you gave him was taken out on you this way and it had the opposite effect, it only made you act out more. 

Joel’s grunts with every thrust inside you, his hands squeeze your wrists tighter and tighter the hornier he gets. Your pussy clenches around his cock in excitement and you squeal out a slew of his name mixed with curse words, too mumbled for him to decipher what you said. 

“Fuck, you’re such a good little angel wrappin’ around my cock like that- ohh shit.” He hisses and your arm falls to your side, Joel’s hand wrapping around your throat roughly. You cry out as you can feel the head of his cock bumping your cervix and Joel puts his right foot on the bed to get a better angle on you, his hips never stopped moving. 

With his thick fingers squeezing every bit of air out of you, he growls in your ear, “You like when daddy plays rough with you like the nasty little girl you are?” He chuckles and squeezes harder around your throat so you can’t answer. 

You close your eyes as the roll back with lust and your body begins to shake underneath him, his cock still ramming into you and making your head spin. 

“I wanna-oh my goddd-come for you daddy, please. Let me come, please-I can’t-god..fuuck.” You choke out and he goes faster, slamming into you so hard the bed squeaks with every thrust. 

“Aww, you wanna come all over my cock, honey? Show me how good you are and come, right fuckin’ now.” Joel’s voice vibrates against your ear before he stands up straight and grabs onto your hips to keep himself steady as he fucks you as hard as he can. 

It was almost as if the Earth stopped spinning and everything hit all at once. You fell flat on the bed as you screamed his name, trying to wiggle away from him but it was no use. Joel pins your hips down and continues at you, groaning louder as his cock twitches inside you. 

“God damn, that’s a good girl-oh fuck.-Gonna make daddy fill up that pretty little pussy of yours, baby. Bet you’d like that huh? Goin’ to sleep with my cum inside you.” He mutters through his teeth as his jaw clenches, his head tilting back. 

You try to shove him away as you shake from the overwhelming feeling on your pussy but he’s too far into it to stop. He needs to get himself off inside you if it’s the last thing he does.

A few spanks to your ass and a couple squeezes to your tits, Joel’s breath becomes heavier as he empties his balls deep in you. 

He cusses loudly and grabs your ass for dear life as his knees go weak with each string of cum he shoots. Joel’s cock goes soft inside you and he pulls out slowly, seeing the cum already threaten to spill from your aching hole. As you lay there dizzy and so fucked out, he sits beside you and gives a little pat to your ass, taking off the ghostface mask and giving it a toss to the floor. 

Neither one of you says a word for a few minutes until you finally get the energy to lazily sit up and look at him. 

“Can you fuck me like that from now on, please?” you ask breathlessly and he looks at you in awe. 

“Come here.” Joel whispers and his hand grabs the back of your head gently, pulling you into a passionate kiss. 

“Let’s go take a bath.” You mumble on his lips and leave him sitting there on the bed. 

“Happy fuckin’ Halloween to me. God damn.” He says to himself with a grin and walks to the bathroom.

[softfem-dom]

HEY HUNNY!

can I have some more Hybrid!Outsiders imagines bc I read Ur lil fics before I sleep and then I happily dream about them because that's how my brain works (it's 10pm rn) 😋

Remember to get some rest, drink water, eat something, and take breaks <333!

YES OFC SWEETHEART (i've got your other ask about the hcs for the outsiders halfway dw)

So, thinking about how Dallas and Bob would be such shits when it comes to being sick. Like they can catch a cold and be acting like they're dying or smth 😬

Soda is more on the allowed to cry about it side. Like the man's just got weak emotional strength when he's sick 😭 the poor little dude'll start crying without noticing cuz they're fever tears and everything's so hot and cold at the same time 😔 Pony. I actually can't see him getting sick. Gotta be the one with the strongest defenses or something, but he'll just catch a cold at max and simply live thru it. The most prone to getting sick is undeniably Johnny, i can't tell u why but I just know this man's defenses are low as hell. (I strongly hc him to be an iron deficiency princess🥰 /totally not projecting rn🙏😬.) He'll just sulk around, probably get under some blankets and sleep it off. He'll obviously want his mommy to scratch his ears and give him some pets from time to time.

Darry is obviously the one to pretend he's not as sick as he is. That German Sephered's the king of overworking himself lol💪. You'll only get him to rest properly if u promise him that you're gonna keep Dallas and Bob in separate rooms. Steve and Two-Bit are kinda neutral sicks, they'll just play it up cuz they're drama queens and want your attention all to themselves. They fr want to gatekeep your pets and praises for as long as they can.