#i put so much of myself into these characters! thats what fiction is for!!! u ARE supposed to project onto them!!!

[rucow]

saw too many ppl having awful takes on nerevar and voryn and the tribunal etc etc on twitter, so now im drawing soft sweet nerevoryn bc i can. im going to balance out all the negative energies in this fandom, one drawing at a time 🫶😊

[vypridae]

9!!! 10!!! 11!! 12!! 13!!! or pick and choose <3

IDK WHICH FANDOMS U MEAN BUT IM GONNA DO EACH ONE AND ILL JUST PUT MY HAZBIN/HELLUVA ANSWERS UNDER A CUT SO U DONT HAVE TO SEE THEM

9. worst part of canon

ok the worst part of dgrp canon has to be the way they handle characterization, like especially with trauma. specifically in mind i have korekiyo rn, like they mega rushed his entire Thing and wrote it in a way that paints HIM in a terrible awful light when it very likely (or definitely) wasnt that at all, but the way it was written just fucks up so, so much. also the Danganronpa Repitition TM (flashbacks to

bsd uuuh oh my god i have to think about this one cuz i love bsd with a passion BAHAHA its hard to find flaws with that one (in part i havent consumed the media in forever), ik it might be just bc the series is still being written but its irritating that some things from like the first seasons are just not touched upon again? and maybe its because ihavent read the manga but like. did atsushi join the ada and suddenly the bounty on his head is just Gone? am i misremembering if they went back to that or not its been like a year since ive watched bsd i need to rewatch it but thats about all i can think of. im not even mad about the not killing any characters because fyodor is alive still

10. worst part of fanon

dgrp has a TERRIBLEEEE shipping fandom. i hated oumasai for the longest fucking time because i encountered this one rper way back when that like was a mega red flag SBGJKFDHGKA i hated them for a while after that (then they grew on me). you get shit on for liking, like, the more toxic ships in the fandom no matter your reasonings or whatever, and i feel like its just a really negative place to be a shipper that likes to explore bad dynamics (such as i)

i think the worst part of bsd fanon is similar. shipping sides of fandoms are ALWAYS bad i feel like, and there are a lot of people that will be like "skk is real fuck you for shipping anything else" or like "if u ship nikolai with anyone but fyodor i dont trust u" or something like??? its a fucking ship chill out its fictional it doesnt hurt anyone irl CALM DOWN

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

for bsd uh . only two surprisingly, and its two ships that i cannot physically make myself like?? thats all apparently

for dgrp i have uuh two and its literally also only two ships that i dont like BHASFKAHSK

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

for bsd am i allowed to say fyodor? idk if he necessarily counts as "unpopular" but i see way more hate of him than i see people liking him, but god fucking dammit i love him with my whole heart. hes so evil and those kinds of characters litearlly just make me gravitate towards them, hes so smart and cunning and you can do so much with his character, especially learning his ability oh my god? jhes so complex and i love him

for dgrp, i feel like every character is "unpopular" BAHSAJKAHk but for this i think i wanna go with chiaki. people hate chiaki because shes "boring" or at least they Did back when i first got into the series but shes so different in the game compared to the anime because the game shes based on her classmates' memories of her! shes only this "perfect" individual because thats how her entire class saw her, like she was made the class rep for a reason

13. worst blorboficiation

ok this one im trying to figure out what the fuck the definition is BAHAJSHFAJK from what im SEEING its like, the character that doesnt deserve to be liked as much as they are. (i dont think i answered this one correctly but shh its fine)

for bsd thats really hard for me to think of because i like literally every character but uuh if i had to say one ig i'd say uuh . maybe dazai? i feel like this is in part because people typically take away from dazai's entire complex everything because he's too complex for a lot of people (including me) to truly understand, like im not saying i understand him but i feel like a lot of people will take the wrong parts of him/exclude anything they dont like about him and go with that? if that counts but idk i still like dazai so i cant say that too much

for dgrp its the exact same situation with kokichi. they take his character, of which is incredibly complex, and dumb it down into the typical fandom woobification of "uwu baby who cant do anything wrong" LIKE!!! STOP!!! NO HE IS NOT!!! HE IS SO COMPLEX AND YOU'RE LIKING HIS CHARACTER FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS!!! people that dont understand the complexity behind certain characters and are incapable of taking that as their blorbo and instead creating this silly incorrect version in their mind and making THAT their blorbo i just. thats not ur blorbo atp thats ur oc my guy

hazbin/helluva answers

9. worst part of canon

both of these shows are kinda not the best when it comes to being serious???? like there are some topics that shouldnt be joked about i feel like, and there are points in the shows that joke in relation to these topics. also theres not enough voxval but thats a criticism for another time

10. worst part of fanon

not even just the ships tbh, its liking any character thats either painted in a negative light or is just generally unpopular. the ships too but i could get to that another time. for EXAMPLE, me, i like valentino. a lot. he's one of my favorite characters. i feel like i cannot express the fact i love val because i will get called an ACTUAL rapist for saying it because "if you like val you condone his actions and thus are a rapist/terrible person/etc" when thats absolutely not at all how it works. i acknowledge that val is terrible, i understand that its bad, but i can still enjoy him as a character otherwise. his actions are what i dont like, ive never liked him (i actually hated him at first because of it but then i saw him being more silly in the series with vox and he grew on me), but you will actively get told to kys if you say that you even REMOTELY enjoy vals character

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

i have none for helluva but for hazbin i have four. three of which are for the sAME SHIP and one is another ship i dont like

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MIMZYYYY dude she gets so much unnecessary hate. like, everyone sees her as annoying and terrible and i GUESS i can see where they're coming from but a. theyre in hell, everyone's terrible, b. people just see her as annoying because she interrupted hells greatest dad and they dont like that because they want their radioapple song or wtvr. i love her and no one can convince me otherwise

13. worst blorboficiation

ok THIS one i might actually be able to answer with the correct definition of blorboification. i feel like alastor gets way too much unnecessary love, and maybe thats just because i think hes too popular for being what he is but hes just not all that to me. like, hes a good character, yes, but some people like him to an extent that i feel like doesnt do him justice?? its like i said with uuuuuh the dgrp side of this question, they dumb down his character a lot and are just generally bad at making him ACCURATE to the point its irritating. (hey so yk how i said i could answer with the right definition of this i lied)

[illadvisedselfships]

I have a very general ask to rattle off before I leave the house!! I've been revolving the idea of sending this in my mind for a few days, but I think that last post you reblogged is a sign that I should just do it XD Because it kind of relates to my questions... sorry if it seems disjointed, I'm sort of rushing to get it out of my system ^^

When you imagine anything with your F/Os, is it you you that you're picturing? Or like. An idealized version of yourself? Is anything about her different or is she just straight up *you*? I've had this image in my head for so long of someone who thinks like me, but looks and acts quite different - almost like an OC. I think I'm getting a bit better about this though, I've been working on making my Sim self and it's helping 😅😅

From looking through this blog, it seems like you usually imagine your F/Os with you in the real world? Do you ever imagine yourself in their universe? For me I almost always imagine myself as a character in their universe!

I'm still warming up to the idea of F/Os... but for as a long as I can remember I've had daydream scenarios with soooo many different characters over the years. But I always just considered them maladaptive daydream scenarios 🙈🙈🙈 I LOVE the enthusiasm you have for your F/Os, though!! <3

Marinerainbow or anyone else is welcome to share their thoughts too, but there's no pressure to do so of course :D

💛💕💛💕💛💕 I love this ask, its so interesting! ^^

First of all- @marinerainbow , what are your thoughts here? ^^

As for me: First of all I think with F/O stuff you can - of course, - be whatever the hell you wanna be!! If thats an idealised or just, plain, fictional version of yourself- ball!! ^^ For me I generally just imagine myself. Though, admittedly, a slightly more confident, and open version of myself XD

As for the w o r l d, I usually imagine- it depends on the day XD Here are the various worlds I imagine myself in with them XD I put them under the cut cuz it partly answers the question and its also just me waffling about my various ongoing fantasies 😅

All of them: Some weird in-between world set in London with Cruella. Somehow the other 3 live there too now in this one 😅

All of them: Variant of same in-between world except I live in Maine with Jim because I l o v e the idea of living near a lake or in the bush/woods or something- I swear, if I could live out in the sticks I'd never be anxious ^^ Usually in this one, Otis lives in the basement XD

All of them: Different variant of same in-between world except I just live in Aus this time and am upholding 4 different long distance relationships 🤣 XD

Jim: The Lake Placid universe. Yes, I imagine myself in the universe! ^^ I'm not a character in the story, though, I generally imagine I'm cursed or the multiverse glitched or something and I ended up dropped in the last fictional universe I watched on TV XD So I'm just there, knowing e x a c t l y what happens and when in this story but keeping my mouth sealed s h u t about it (*cough* while shooting my shot with Jim) XD

Jim (Variant): At the moment I'm playing with a variant of this one where a version of me does already exist in the Lake Placid universe when I get there- and she's a... shall we say... adult movie star XD 🤣 Its fun!

Otis: The H1000C universe. Same as the Lake Placid one above. I end up in this universe at Spaulding's petrol station with a friend from the real world (Who either knows the story or doesn't- both can be equally fun cuz I'm either freaking out with them or freaking out for the both of us XD) and get wrapped up in the story with the main victims while trying to get the hell out before Otis sees me cuz n o I don't wanna get m u r d e r e d thank you very much-

Any of them: Switcheroo. They get dumped in t h i s (o u r) universe/timeline. And I have to keep them hidden so no one recognises them as their actor in public.

Any of them: Switcheroo Variant. We both end up in a separate universe and have to work together to get the hell out. Catch? This universe already has a version of them (A different character by the same actor. For example if the focus F/O is Jim it could be the ANOES universe. Or if the focus F/O is Otis, it could be Texas Chainsaw Massacre! XD) and possibly a different version of me as well and we have to avoid meeting/making eye contact with these other versions in order to avoid a fault in the space time continuum or whatever 😅 (And also avoid other problems that might come along with meeting characters like Freddy Krueger or Inkubus or Chop Top Sawyer🙃)

So yes... I do like to use the real me in my F/O fantasies (feels more personal for me ^^) but its not always the real world XD Its not always their fictional world. A lot of the time its just random 😅 Its completely up to you individually what you do with your daydreaming! ^^ It is s o so individual and self indulgent.

I hope this helps you? Or was interesting? 😅😂 I wish you so much luck in your future F/O-ing! XD Its all good fun and it can be comforting too ^^ And I wanna hear all about it if you ever wanna gush! Here are your free gush tickets 🎫🎟🎫🎟🎫🎟🎫🎟🎫🎟 They're infinite and theirs no expiry date! ^^

[wulvert]

SHE'S SO ELEGANT,,,PICTURE PERFECT GRACE. THROWING UP GARLIC BREAD LIKE A CAT HACKING UP A HAIRBALL. she looked so comfy in that one panel being held (🏳️‍🌈) i think thats her peak. i wana be as sleepy as her,,,snnnnzzzz

ALSO IM LOOKING THROUGH THE COMMENTS TO SEE IF I MISSED ANY DETAILS. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE THINK AVERY IS A MAN. ITS BEEN 53 PAGES????? I LOVE ROTATING GENDER CODED AVERY IN MY BRAIN AS A SILLY SELF-PROJECTION HEADCANON BUT THIS IS BEYOND ME. WHAT DO THEY NEED TO MAKE IT CLICK. "HI ITS ME, AVERY, WOMAN FROM HIT LESBIAN (NOT HETEROSEXUAL) VAMPIRE SERIES PAPERTEETH"??? theres somethign deepr 2 be said about this tht pisses me off nd im too tired to express it correctly. im goign insane sorry. anyways

scarlet's t-rex hands at the end mean so much 2 me!! thnak u,,,i have seen them in ur comics before nd they r so important as someone who does them 24/7. this may also sound weird but i like the extra detail u put into the legs. i do NOT mean this in a strange way oh god. um. u get it i hope.

awesoke page in general im gnna eat it.!!!

literally so sleepy and is held. sure she passed out from fear but thats irrelevant now bc shes unconscious I want to be that cozybut i dont think i ever will be

yeah! uptick of ppl who think shes a man this page- Ig it got featured on a banner again the other day so a few new ppl probs skim read past the part where shes outright referred to as a woman idk. I think the reason it bothers me a bit is bc avery is a character im rly overly attached to bc shes pretty pathetic like me and shes the same flavour of girl as me, which i dont rly relate 2 a lot of fictional women as someone whos kind of a struggle, so its like nice to make them for myself i guess? idk having her makes me feel better. is that a comfort character. i dont know. i care her.- so i feel like ive failed a little when ppl just look at her and go oh, this character is clearly intended by the author to be a man.

I cant rly b mad at ppl who honestly just dont realise though, I'll admit i commit the crime of mistaking cartoon men for cartoon women sometimes- I am a little mad at ppl who say things like its hard to believe shes a girl when they find out .like. shes a vampire. you can suspend ur disbelief far enough to believe shes a vampire. but not enough to believe shes a girl... interesting ...hm ....funny how that works anonymous webtoon commenter.......................

TL;DR: Averys my bbg and im too attached to her.

& no of course! i like giving characters raptor hands, I am for serious when i said i injected the autism myself. & ITSNOT WEIRD DW i like drawing legs even if i make them far too long.

&thank you!!

[peggy-uwu]

Jumping off of my previous long ass ace vent post

`

My very personal experience being ace in the kuro fandom has been a kinda weird one. I’ve seen a ton of ace people in this fandom, but so so so many of them are either antis, or don't ship things at all whatsoever. which is fine, to each their own, obviously. But it can be a little lonely.

Talk about sex and nsfw stuffs under the cut

I id as aegosexual. I’m ace and sex repulsed, but I really enjoy nsfw content, and more specifically, fan-fiction, fan-art, and shipping (of the often problematic variety). Fiction is the only way i can express myself sexually (irl porn can be really off putting).

Sex disgusts me and even talking about it in an irl sense can be really uncomfy for me. like sometimes talking abt it is fine, if its kept abstract, but a lot of the time thats not the case. (LOOKING AT YOU OLDER SISTER)

But i love talking about in a hypothetical, fictional sense. its so much fun, and it gives so much creative freedom. but the thought of having even the most basic vanilla ass sex irl disgusts me

`

from what ive seen from some of the ace people in fandom though, is that they feel the same ways about sex in fiction as they do irl. so i feel like im kinda stuck in this middle ground of 'ace attitude towards sex irl, allo attitude towards sex in fiction' which can get a little lonely with noone to talk to about it.

`

`

I have a question for both the ace and allo kuro-or-other-fandom fans out there:

If the character you horny simp for, magically appeared in ur bed one day, and was down to fuck u, would you hypothetically have sex with them?

`

`

because for all my Sebastian horny simping, if he showed up outta nowhere and offered to have sex, my answer would be ‘No.’. And that goes for ALL the characters i like in fiction. i will scream about how much i wanna fuck Keith Kogane until the motherfucking cows come home but if you put someone who looked, talked, acted like, and for all intents and purposes, WAS Keith, i would not be interested in the slightest.

because i DON'T want to have sex. i love reading it in fiction, literally cant get enough of it, but as soon as it crosses the boundary of fantasy and hypothetical, and starts being related to me and my person personally, its so so so uncomfortable and i hate it. to the point that even some fic depicting women and people with female bodies can be off putting, it hits too close to home for comfort. Thats partly why such a vaaaast majority of the fanwork i consume is m/m. ive never been into a f/f ship anywhere near as obsessively as i can get with m/m ones. i dont enjoy self-shipping for the same reason.

Is this a normal experience for other ace ppl in fandom? do you guys feel like this? or am i just fucking weird. idk

[lostacelonnie]

Thats a bit of a mood but the thing keepin me busy mostly is work. Mihoyo is so good at making cool characters like xinyan, yun jin, etc & then just. Neglecting them. Gotra adopt these neglected kids i swear. Noelle's hangout sure does have some uh. Hella gay endings if i say so myself. Im nothin if not a simp for pretty women. Especially ones deemed annoying or those who commit wrongs so ill take her and focalors. Ayato & hu tao are some of my favorites in terms of playstyle. But im also a big hu tao enjoyer so im biased there. Getting lost is part of the charm indeed but i am an explorer type in games and irl so. Oh? I would love to see some pictures if you go i love seeing new places. That is exactly what happened to me with genshin a friend got me to play it & now here i am. Im convinced artifacts just hate everyone by this point tbh. Your disco elysium posting is making me wanna download it again & give it a proper finish when i am playing so many games already. Ill probably do it anyways though because i have little self control

fair. and right?????? i collect them and put them in my pocket. underused character fan club. FRFR WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT???? happy not-yet-pride-month to noelle and noelle only. and same as the wise song once said i love women i love women ladies ladies gentle nonmen not men not men. fr the more problematic a fictional woman is the more likely i am to defend her online. the last time i played with hu tao was before my great genshin break so that was like, over 1 year ago? so to be completely honest i dont remember her playstyle very well. but from what i can remember i think i enjoyed it. im a bit of an explorer type in games [not so much irl since i dont have time or ppl do do it with, but id love to in the future] so the desert has been great!!! im defo gonna keep u updated on my travels. actually going to norway in about a week so i can show u some pics from there when i get back :DD and i actually had that with honkai, my best friend got me into it and now. yeah. fr like. its like the MOMENT i start grinding a new artifact set i get the stats i needed for the last one but are garbage rn. and akdgkjghjkk fair, ik the feeling of wanting to check out other stuff while balancing so many current interests. my elysium playing has actually made me temporarily forsake genshin bc of how caught up i get in it. and good luck with that 👍

[faunina]

rules: name 10 different favorite characters from 10 different pieces of media (books, tv, movie, etc.) and then tag 10 people!

tagged by: @villalunae thank you babe!!

im putting these down in no specific order bc im chronically indecisive 1. Lucy Pevensie (chronicles of narnia)

2. Reggie Abbott (twelve forever)

3. Medea (euripides’ medea)

4. Winnetou (from the Karl May winnetou trilogy)

5. Castiel (supernatural)

6. Bigby Wolf (the wolf among us)

7. Chloe Bourgeois (from miraculous ladybug, or at least who she could be if th*mas *struc wasnt a FUCKING coward)

8. Bee (Bee and Puppycat)

9. Nausicaä (Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind)

10. also FUCK i REALLY wanna put a character from Akatsuki no Yona on this list, thing is, i could put any of the main and several of the supporting cast here for MULTIPLE differing reasons, and i cant fucking make up my mind, SO CONSIDER THE ENTIRE STORY ONE BIG FAVE FEST

the “tag youre it” goes out tooooo @evilpotion  @andrea-csenge  @slinkyinky  @blumoonwolf  @saaya-ryuzaki  @leetlelamb  @bonzorongo  @schwarzesgewitter  @the-judy-dog @cantwaittosee-blog and whoever else wants to play!

[dabihaul666]

What's your interpretation of overhaul compared to the popular fanon?

the popular fanon of tumblr is dom top doctor sugar daddy self shipping calling u ''angel''

the semi-popular fanon of people who ship him with other characters is still usually having him as a dom top, cold ruthless boundary crossing dubcon dabi whump. other characters? idk i dont read or surround myself with anything else but obviously shigahaul would be a bit different and obvs this also changes whether or not he has his arms or not, which brings me to naganthaul where it's people's fantasy strong woman (mirko kind of gets this too) and the broken traumatized husk of a ''bad problematic character'' that some ppl feel like means her calling him a faggot is good and cool, and im kind of glad it's quieted down with that pairing.

there's honestly just not that much chronohaul/i dont read a lot of it but what is see is like, honestly pretty chaste childhood friends to lovers type stuff tbh

there's like one person who does nemotohaul and they draw a doctor's office au where overhaul has giant tiddies and wears panties and i literally wish them nothing but the best and happiness in life (satori on twit)

i used to be way more up-to-date and in the culture of shipping/bnha/fic stuff and probably better equipped to answer this question but its been like, idk 4 years or something now into bnha and dabihaul and overhaul like...... which interpretation of him do you want lol. we've got like so many interations of aus and the canon compliant aus like the things rattling around in his little pink brain and what i think makes him tick and how.......

he's so obsessed with control and his construction of his little world and exerting power over it, it his quirk perfectly reflects that. he is so uptight his ass could turn coal into a diamond. speaking of, he would never put his dick in anyone i truly believe that. u would need to gargle antiseptics before u could blow him. the desperate grasp he has on control and his routines in his little dainty white gloves has to break it has to be broken if necessary. his kind of ugly business man and also baby phat brand ambassador fashion... his one ear peirced, his lashes, his ALL MEN ORGANIZATION everything is so sterile and like. repression is one thing but his whole 8pods base was built because he was stuck in the closet and started to DIG. daily affirmations are ''i am in control i am going to change the world and i am masc''.

but im also like, not taking myself seriously because im not that smart im not a writer im not that good at explaining things and why would i be explaining things from 4 yrs ago that im still on and talking about n stuff they're all concrete to me. but also i like to have fun. but also my specific tastes in playing dollhouse with fictional characters is also like, i've refaced and customized a bratz doll and thats my little malewife girlboy wife husband catboy catgirl baby bird. yknow what i mean.

[attourney-at-lycan]

hmmmm was else

OOOOOO

mcd aaron..👩‍💻 thoughts ?

(i dont really have a prompt but like ur version/rewrite ideas because i love collecting everyones as its fascinating to see how ppl just get this bad self inswrt crush him up and then glue him back together adapted and polished into a new far better chara )

DUDE FUCKING I LOVE- okay. i love sad fictional men so much it’s not even funny. i see one and go ‘i can fix him’ which is what aaron is to me. a sad babygirl

in my rewrite, aaron actually…. does kill a majority of people in his village- those who he didnt kill managed to escape. it helps with the fact that he hides his identity and how the word he was a maniac that killed everyone was spread fast (though i dont doubt zane also had a hand in this)

by killing, i mean he was… sorta posessed by shad’s vengeful wish that was in the amulet. the reason why it reacted to him is because he’s a descendant of shad himself. i still need to work out certain details.

and i just realized u meant canon aaron. PLS IM SO STUPID-

okay canon mcd aaron thoughts rlly aren’t much? by this i mean: he didn’t really… do anything other than bring back garroth and save aph? and thats bc jason’s ass got jealous over his wife’s own ocs and needed to intervene like the normal husband he is-

but i really liked aaron, even back when he appeared bc i’ve always loved tragic sad characters like aaron. aka the ‘bad boys’. it’s also why i loved garroth so much, sad old man. and why i started to love laurence during season 2-

if there was more done with him, and if jason wasnt… jason- BASICALLY IF AARON’S CHARACTER WASNT HELD BACK BY AN IMMATURE CREEP, he would’ve been such a great character, which is what im trying to do?

i dont want the fact that he lost everyone to be brushed off. bc it clearly doesn’t seem to bother aaron a lot other than to be used when it is convenient to the plot-

im putting him early on in my rewrite bc 1. i want to develop his relationship with aphmau more as really close friends and 2. it feels like everything with him was rushed and i want to take my time with him bc he’s the type of character that takes a long time to open up to others.

im so sorry if i repeat myself, i feel like there’s sm much j want to see but my thoughts go way too fast for me to even grasp what i want to say so have this incoherent ramble wkdwbdiwhdhsisb

im also thinking about making him half werewolf bc he has to be taller than 7’0”

[actualbird]

Hi Zak! I really love your writing style and interpretation of the ToT characters. You show so much depth and understanding and reading your work is always a treat. My question is, how do you find the motivation to write so often and develop all your ideas? All I have is a backlog of Dramatic scenes in my ideas doc and I can't figure out how to add enough plot to even make them into oneshots.

hello, anon ヾ(＾∇＾)

thank you so much for your kind words!!! im glad my fics are enjoyable :D

as for your question......hm, i think i have a lot of things that motivate me to write a bunch at the speed i do, so heres all of the motivators i can think of

a big emotional one is that....i feel palpable physical anxiety when i havent Created A Thing in a While, HAHA. and my brain's definition of "a while" is anywhere from a week to one day KJBKJS. i feel happiest and most like myself when creating and having created. this emotional motivator is v important to me bc it helps me relieve negative emotions and experience positive ones.

my brain never shuts off!! ever!!! it's throwing new ideas at me 24/7 and leaving the ideas in my brain where nobody will ever get to see it......thats Agony For Me. i write so much because i wanna be like EVERYBODY, LOOK, LOOK AT THIS CONCEPT!! DONT LEAVE ME ALONE TO THINK ABOUT THIS, THINK ABOUT IT WITH ME!!!

people tell me that my writing makes them happy or makes them laugh or gives them some kind of benefit. this is hugely rewarding for me and pushes me to make more because i want to continue to make things that people can benefit from

i write my stuff because......nobody else will. like, the stuff i enjoy is somewhat niche. i wanna see smut but it's a comedy at the same time. or i wanna see the nxx team being stupid but also being a loving found family. i wanna see nxx polycule dealing with a voyeuristic pet bird. the stuff i want....NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA WRITE IT, theyre all way too specific, so i have to be the one to write it!!!

I Just Love Writing. ive been writing fiction for more than a decade now (exactly a decade, if ur going by my ao3 fics) and it's something i'll continue doing for the rest of my life. sorry to sound cheesy, but it's deadass my passion. it's what i chose to study and major in college, it's what i do at my current job, and it's what i do in my free time. i love writing, so i do as much of it as i can.

so theres a bunch of motivators that keep me trucking on like crazy!!!!

but theres a second question here, right? i think? or am i misreading? you also ask kinda how to develop ideas/plot, yeah? because huge mood at "backlog of Dramatic scenes" tbh thats how most of my fics start in my brain HAHA.

so heres how i personally develop ideas

the dramatic scene/s (or just whatever "seed" of a fic, be it a badass line or a stupid joke in dialog) in the head? i write that down immediately. no matter what is going on, i grab my phone and scribble that thing down on a notepad. i have woken up at 2am just to blindly wordbarf an idea into my diary discord, lemme get u an example actually, heres the message:

and this single message resulted in the fic "The NXX Investigation Team In Their Natural Habitat, Unhinged: A Documentary by DAVIS"

so like no matter how un-fleshed out the idea is, get it down!!! make the backlog in ur head a backlog somewhere outside of ur head so that it doesnt disappear bc a lot of the time, those ideas need to like.....simmer. i often need to put an idea down and let it rest for a while for me to understand the concept more and then start building around it. case in point: that message was sent on November 16. the first chapter of nxx docu fic was posted November 19......okay that wasnt a great example, it only simmered for 3 days BUT MY POINT STANDS

onto the plot!!!

i personally add plot by going through at LEAST TWO STAGES OF OUTLININING. this is gonna make me sound insane, but bear with me.

OUTLINE ONE: WORDBARF

this is the barebones shit. like tbh, all i put in this outline is as simple as premise, conflict, resolution. THATS IT. example of outline one of "how Puppy Pierce© conquered the world":

barest bones in the world but theyre still bones aka, theyre whats needed for a story. there is a premise, conflict, and resolution. fiction comes in all kinds of forms, but these three are the easiest and most noticeable building blocks. keeping these blocks in mind always helps me get from concept to story.

i move on now to

OUTLINE TWO: embellish the wordbarf

this is where i go insane because based on outline one, i expand as much as frigging possible. the outline one for puppierce is as short as u see above and my outline two based on it is 864 words long. this is where i get detailed and lay down scenes, sometimes i lay down the exact dialog as well. heres an excerpt of outline two from the same fic above:

BONUS: a list of things to Keep In Mind.

this is something i only do with fics that delve deep into emotions and themes but it's very very helpful for me because it allows me to have like...a guide to look towards whenever i feel blocked or stumped, it realigns my trajectory to where i want it to go. i do this in the beginning before outline one and two. heres an example from the fic "it's only ever a seed planted from outside in":

and once all that is done, tadaa!! everything is built!! and then i do the Actual Writing bit JBJKFGS

i hope this is helpful somehow? a lot of my writer friends have told me that both my motivators and my writing process is fucking insane but sdjkbkgjsd insane is what works for me. i hope you find what works for you :')

again, thank you for lovely ask!! if ever u have questions on like, writing process or story development, dont hesitate to hmu!!! my degree in creative writing has to be useful for something HAHA.

hope u have a nice day!!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 9 (part 1)

“ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~

What an ep for my girl tohru! She completed her growth thanks to kyo’s rejection. really, It was so hard, cruel, understandable but above all so necessary for her to reach a logical realistic conclusion that “I can love/want things from the bottom of my heart, but at the end I can’t force or bound them to me, I won’t regret loving/wanting them, but I’ll move forward regardless, no more standing still”.

-The fear of being alone:

Aren’t we all? We’re scared to face the word after breaking bonds, changing, not getting what we want, having to start over. Such feelings run deeper into us all. Both tohru & akito were scared to face the word without the old comfortable bond that they got used to:

Tohru realized today, that she cant keep talking to a cold photo, can’t live according to her mom’s expectations, to fulfill her mom’s wishes, can’t narrate her daily life to her mom & fill her life with other ppl’s own issues to distract her self from facing her own loneliness & from looking deeper into what should she do with her life. As she fell in love with kyo, tohru started talking to him! forgetting to inform her mom abt her life’s details, thinking abt what will she do “after graduation?”. As kyo asked in se02, ep2. Graduating highschool is ur mom’s wish, What would u wanna do after?” Tohru didnt have a response of “an after”cuz her mom wasnt there to tell her! Tohru has to choose “the after” herself!!!! “The after” was being with kyo & starting life together! figuring what to do next together! She no longer alone! she found her most precious person!

Except: he cant be with her. Again tohru is scared. What to do now! she wanted a bond but is forced to leave it. Loving kyo was stage 1 to be free from her grief. Moving forward without kyo is stage 2 to learn not to repeat the painful journey again! She didnt let go of her mom & kyo easily. It was hard, scary but she must do it. You must respect their wishes & move on. As scared as she is, there will be sadness & happiness ahead.

Akito realized she cant keep an empty box, cant keep fulfilling her dad’s wishes to “be loved & special” cant bound the zodiacs to her for good. They may love her or not, it doesn't matter, if they wish to leave for whatever reason, she cant force them to stay.

Except now that the zodiacs are leaving, what does she have to live for? who will be with her? she isnt good with strangers? she never met anyone who wasnt forced to obey her & be grateful for her. Strangers cant be forced to love her! what will she do now? stretch you hand for a greeting. Tohru told her, make a friend, they might refuse you, but hey might accept u too, I’ll make it easy, Hi, I;m tohru, whats ur name?

The power of true love: ( reality vs fiction)

In fairy tales, the princess fix the prince. the prince save the princess. The prince kiss the princess, she wakes up & they be happy ever after. Except real life has no prince & princess, You cant always be saved, you cant always save others, pure intense true love cant always be the answer!

Yuki was first when tohru needed physical saving. he saved her twice! Yuki’s nickname in school ”the prince”. Yuki is always cool, thoughtful & kind. Yuki always knew what to say & do! he deserves tohru’s romantic love more than kyo, right? But “ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~ . Yuki didn't feel this way towards tohru, granted no one (excepts kakeru) knows the reason why he loves her fondly (she’s his mom figure). The official” prince isnt the one for her. Real life isn’t a fairy tale. Yuki has someone who sees he isn’t cool, perfect or a prince “ granted no one knows abt machi, yet! ) XD

In tohru monologue: she didnt think abt saving, that's not why she loves kyo. She stated normal, silly, mundane things! a shy smile, awkward kindness & the likes. Stuff ppl love abt each other in real life. You dont say, I love my husband cuz he saved me from a burning building in the 7th floor! lol. But fiction is so full of this. Princes saving princesses.

Tohru didnt fix kyo, too! as much as her love helped him greatly to find hope, the best writing choice is that tohru’s love also brought despair to kyo! To him, she’s the symbol of hope, peace & comfort! she’s also, the symbol of despair, torment & unease! EPIC! The kyo who’s stuck in the past cant be with her, the kyo who will move beyond trauma, abuse & broken soul will be with her. The duality is all on kyo’s shoulder: what will he choose? Can he choose in his state now?

In fairy tales the princess wakes up after the kiss. In real life, we don't. Tohru didn’t. Regardless if she fainted during or after the kiss. The kiss fixed nothing. Kyo’s despair in seeing near-dead tohru in a not-so-subtle mimic to his nightmare, has manifested itself into the sweetest kiss upon seeing her conscious & talking. Kyo isnt good with words, his actions are his words. When he’s scared, sad, in trauma: running away. when he’s  fond of her, grateful for her existence: head knock, head pats, hand holding & a kiss. Still the kiss fixed nothing. Kyo is still traumatized more than ever now. Tohru still feels rejected “even if I’m not with you, plz live”.

Talking fixes everything. It didn’t here, kyo & tohru talked & showed their most vulnerable side to the other, but still didn’t meet half ways, regardless of all the love. That’s cuz they keep missing each other’s best timing. Kyo is stuck in the past while tohru has moved forward. even if in her mind she’s the one who stood & he moved. this shows they aren’t on the same wave yet. Before meeting each other again, kyo must learn from his mistake like tohru did. He must face his ultimate demon: his dad. The one who created the current broken kyo.

Rebelling against parents: ( sign of growth & freedom of choice):

Rebelling against parents  is a sign of a desire to choose one’s path, decide one’s own future. Away to express an oppressed desire.

Yuki rebelled against his mom in se02. he told her I’m not going to the college you chose. I’ll chose my path. I’m not staying away from Ayame. My bro is good in my book. I chose who I want to be with. He told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Tohru rebelled against her mom today. told her I’m not wasting myself doing only what you I think you’ll approve off. You might bot forhet kyo, thats ur choice, But I DO. I love him even if you might not approve of him, Even if he rejected me, my feelings wont change, but I’ll move forward from the grief & pain. mother. She told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Kyo WILL rebelled against his disgusting dad. He MUST. It is his turn now. He’ll tell him I’m not wasting myself being locked in a cage. I have a future! I’m not a monster. I am LOVED! I might not 100% sure why I’m loved, but the truth cant be hidden. I have ppl who love me! cheer for me! I want to live! enough of death! mom & kyoko died, tohru nearly did, but I’m not gonna die! I’m not killing ME! I’‘ll do what MOM didnt do! I’ll do what YOU couldn't do! I’ll live! He’ll tell him what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.  I cant wait! I’m in tears just thinking abt it! Kyo was punished enough! time for happiness!

Side Notes:

While I’m impressed with tohru’s growth, as they did her justice in this ep, this doesn’t erase that the buildup for tohru’s own journey & trauma was mediocre. There is a reason ppl commented ” omg tohru, you can love your mom AND kyo!. ” Grief is illogical, long process & it sucks that we weren’t allowed to experience tohru’s grief & her mom’s role in tohru’s abandonment issues. Huge lost opportunity that a good conclusion ep cant erase! but like tohru, I’m moving on ~

The path of growth for kyo will start by rejecting the demon: his dad. No. other. option. Hold abusers accountable for their crimes. Stop their madness. Tell them off.

We know kyo is baka! that’s his trade mark, the endearing baka! a lot of characters in the show think so! I love it, but I’m craving baka-yuki! XD! really, yuki is cool, level-headed & smart, but let him be baka too! this only shows up in tiny microscopic doses, but they’re my fave doses of yuki! it humanizes the “perfect prince”, the “gifted high status rat”! Thus him not seeing kyo running the other side, is my fave look on him! XD.

I appreciate that kyo & yuki put their differences aside when they’re with tohru. You cant tell yuki is hella pissed off with kyo, but he restrained himself. His gaze while full of anger is also full of sympathy as he heard/saw kyo’s panic upon the thought of loosing tohru. He understand they both only mean the best for each other, but also tried they both keep missing each other & not meeting half way! Also, yuki being the only one in the hospital is realistic & endearing. No need for them all to be there & yuki lives with her & is so close to her.

kyo not being the hospital is fantastic! thank you writer-San! why would kyo go to the hospital after thinking his nightmare came true? kyoko /his mom warned him, you’ll hurt another person.. he did.. he didn't cause her fall... but caused her sadness & hurt.

Momiji’s reprimanding gaze is my fave look on him! Also, the best response to what akito did. Akito isnt used to such judgemental gaze. Kureno grabbed her cheeks, gently told her you shouldn't do that, the old maid told her you are right, Dr. Hatori erased her mistakes from ppl heads & bodies, shigure being either cold or kissing her ass, coxing her to yet torment another zodiac in his grand scheme to break the curse as happened in the beach arc.

You bet hana & arisa will be there next ep! Arisa will meet kureno & akito for sure. To path the way for their romance as seen in the ED.

Shigure’s “remorse” is a whole can of worms. Playing with ppl’s hearts & feelings to gain someone’s affection is no laughing matter. Each time blood is shed, he contributed somehow. he didnt force anyone to hurt the other, but he played with matches & never got hurt.

Shigure must be glad akito stabbed kureno. Not cuz he’s sadistic or bad person. He isn’t, but cuz akito stabbing kureno is akito cutting her bond with him. Go shigure, your girl removed her lover with blood. Kureno is punished for sleeping with ur girl by blood! so, when is ur punishment for sleeping with ur lover’s mom? none? ok.

The animation is good. They didnt villinize akito by drawing extra manic features like se02. Kyo’s broken & tormented face once again epicly drawn. However, akito’s slaps on tohru’s face were comedic, unnecessary & such bad taste! Stop using violence for extra drama, furuba!

Also, tohru, I love you, I understand you are broken but charging at a person, who has a history of violence & physical abuse & holding a knife, is stupid. No other description. I’m glad she didnt accidentally kill you in her initial rage.

Everything akito’s redemption, kureno & shigure are part 2 in my review.

[bethanysmiled]

Im very very very curious what inspires ur art and what made u come up with the style or it came up naturally because ur art is so cool and I've loved it for ages :]

ooh thank you sm! I'll put it under a cut bc it might be long.

In regards to what inspires my themes and whatever- So many things! Most of all, just my emotions. Emotions are intangible, yea, but I doodle around until I feel a sort of vibe emerging and I feel like I'm expressing something. Another thing that has a massive impact is my upbringing and memories. Where I grew up has inspired the atmosphere, colors and aesthetic of a lot of my art. I was also raised Roman Catholic and, while I do not believe in God, the stories, themes and visuals have meant so much to me, despite how religion has fucked up my life and relationship with my parents lol. I was not brought up casually religious, I was brought up so deeply involved with the church that I'm practically a historian. Anyone who loves a good, strange story might really enjoy exploring catholicsim from a purely fiction point of view. As a kid, however, I was sooo convinced of the strangeness being reality. So, that inspired me a lot. Memories too, I essentially live in memories and certain themes or motifs I use often are rooted in a memory that holds a feeling important to me. I loved my childhood, I always cling to it and try to relive feelings with art. Music, books, movies etc they all inspire me as well. Regarding the style, thats a little harder to pinpoint for me. I am inspired by things I collect. I collect A LOT and surround myself with these things and I think they persuade my art visually to a degree. Other stuff is just picked up here and there. Like, Fortune's eyes I think are just...squished anime eyes? IDK really where that came from, I just doodled it and it was cute. I am extremely fond of simple shapes and, at the same time, shapelessness. Fortune is so simple and circular, and Permanent Hole is more of a black blob. I also tend to like cute things that contrast my emotions. The style is hard to pinpoint..... I sort of just draw shapes until it feels right. My other art that I dont post here is more easy to explain in terms of style and stuff but idk...with these pieces and characters, the style is a bit hard to pin down.

[thatcharmingjerk]

Top 5 fictional animal characters :3c

Oh this was HARD!!!! And even I obsessed over this for few hours I still feel like I’m forgetting someone actually important but !!!!! Let’s try!!!!!!!

Ok first one is character that I do not like at all, I dont think I even sympathize with him but I think he’s fantastically written and I feel like I understand the point and motives of this bitch but I know some of yall will cringe at me for picking him but still! my first pick is:

-Walter White. I think he’s just so good depiction of how dangerous it can be when you have unresolved issues and you’re in a tight spot, like the cunt started as good ™ man who worked hard and did his best to provide for his family, but the cancer and the bitterness most people seem to overlook made him to spiral into such monster..! 

I just seriously think that he’s so good example what might happen when someone who has mental baggage and toxic and unprocessed bitterness is pushed too far 

......Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I only now noticed the animal part of the ask asdfghjhkg anyway my other picks for top 5 characters would’ve been Edward Elric, Dean Winchester, Ragnar Lodbrok and Nuuskamuikkunen (aka Snufkin) who I also thought to write little essays of!!! 

But!!!!!!!! Animals!!!!!! Ok ok ok lets seeeeeeee 

(I had to get my thoughts out of my system so dude rambling is under cut too!!) 

1. Moro from Mononoke Hime, the wolf mother, I just love her she’s fierce and dangerous but also nurturing and kind enough to raise a human among her pups, I think Moro is just one of the good wolves in media, like good as in pretty correct, not a pet but also not a mindless killing machine either!! 

2. Black Beauty, the main character from the movie with same name, idk he just is so horse, he just keeps being kind and nice and working even after all the shit he has to put up with because he trusts that some people are good too. Yes that movie makes me cry, yes I’m emotional of horses!!!!! 

3. Scar from Lion King, he’s queer coded!!! He’s got this greasy style!!! His moral compass is set on whatever!!! He just lies and cheats and don’t give a shit of anyone! Gotta love a good villain! 

4. Akame from Hopeanuoli/Ginga, idk he’s got style, plus also gotta love a bitch who decides just not to give a shit of old tradition he notices are just empty, like ‘’hey I just now noticed there’s actual problems in world and us guarding some old scrolls ain’t one, bye boys i’mma burn this place!’’ 

Ok last one shall beeeee...! 

5. Balto!!! As a weirdo myself the whole conflict of not feeling like belonging with either dogs nor wolves, might I say, mood. 

Really tho I think Balto is one of the rare cases where main character dude being an underdog (hehe) don’t come with the scott pilgrim -syndrome so thats neat, 

and I just really liked and i still like to see an outsider find self worth in their true self and, AND!! becoming cherished part of community!!! 

So there we go!! Did I overthink this? Absolutely!!! Did I ramble too much? Mayhaps!!! But yeah, here we goooo! And yes theres what I originally thought for this ask before properly reading it under the cut!!! XD 

Thank u for the ask anyhoo <3 

Yes!!!!! My semi-planned rambling of my boys went here before I could think if best animals!!! so yeah!!! walter is a cunt but the rest of these choices i actually do love so! 

Edward Elric, a bastard!!! I love that in any character!!! He’s just so well written too, like he’s the big brother, he has responsibilty, he knows he needs to do stuff no one else can, he’s smart but in believable way so it doesn’t feel too god-like etc, the trauma!!! the tenacity!!! and at the end of the day behind all of he’s just a teenage who lost almost everything and just..... *clenches fist* yeah......

Dean Winchester, yes another big brother but this dude is whole different story, yes he had to look after himself and his little brother but there was also terrifying father figure present to beat him up (mentally, possibly physically too?) for any mistake like its telling he gives Dean shit about car maintenance even when he’s over twenty so....... and yes big part of Dean character isn’t probably what writers intended but I don’t care, i just like what i see in him and his macho-mask and what else!!! 

Ragnar Lodbrok, yes also a historical figure but we’re talking about the dude from vikings show obviously!! I just LOVE how he’s a very manly man and etc blah blah but also soft..! He’s a family man!! he loves his wife!!! plays with his kids!!! he’s a leader sure but his real interest isn’t power or gold he just wants better life for his family and people!!! He loves good soil over gold!!!! but he’s also not a perfect ™, he has his weaknesses and his morals can be interesting to say at least, I just adore his vibe and the self confidence!!!!!

and then, Nuuskamuikkunen, he’s perfect being, this bitch has it all figured out, acab, fuck the stupid rules and just yes!!! if I didn’t love my trinkets and place for creating art so much I would absolutely live in a tent too, or at least with life that fits in single backpack!!!

[cant-think-of-a-username]

Hi!! I have never gotten this before so I thought it would be super cool to ask for one ahah

may i be matched to a haikyuu character? 🥺 thank you!! <3

Pronouns: she/her

Gender Preference: male

MBTI Type: I just took it for the 1000th time a few days ago and got INFP-T (but I would tend to also get ISFP dsfkjs)

Astrology Placements: Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Gemini Rising, Sagittarius Venus, Pisces Mars (if it helps)

Physical Description: long straight black hair that reaches the middle of my back, dark brown eyes (that apparently makes me look like i have eyeliner sometimes) with long thick black eyelashes, light-medium neutral skin, 5'5", i apparently have long legs, thick thighs, cute butt (LMAO im just listing wut ppl have described of me too sdfkj), soft hands with quite long fingers, pretty basic body i would say sdfjhsd, and i apparently make things look expensive (i love fashion) i would say the best way to describe what i wear is probably (dark) academia but i like just wearing whatever i like--i don't like to limit myself to a certain aesthetic.

Personality Description: with new people/in first meeting, i tend to be quiet or generally don't speak much but once i warm up to you, im a really playful person or at least i really enjoy acting that way.

im honest but i should remember that my words can cut sometimes (rip), ive been described to be incredibly kind (sdfkh)... maybe because i tend to put so much energy and effort and time into other people or my relationships (friends, family, literally anyone that comes into contact with me for a decent amount of time)

i tend to act or do things according to how i feel but despite having that trait of mine or having that inclination, i can still very much be realistic. as i act according to how i feel, i have been described to act younger than my age and i doooo and i aint gonna deny it pfftt ima OWn That sHiT

i have no problem with acting like a child. i love rain, i love water, i love the ocean, i love cafes or the smell of coffee, i love the smell of fresh laundry and feeling the warm fabric (caused by drying in the sun or from a dryer lmfao) of whatever it may be (clothes, bedsheets) on my fingertips..

i love self development or just trying to be better and combined with me loving or liking a lot of different things, i try a lot of things--therefore not really becoming a master at anything dkjfhfsd. and because of that.. (i think) because i try a lot, putting quite a bit of effort into my.. goals (i have perfectionistic and overachieving tendencies) i guess.. when it fails (ofc) im incredibly disappointed, and become pretty... fucking sad hhh and when that happens.. i start to become more lazy/complacent 🤡

..bonus (if u wanna sprinkle some "angst" i guess LMAOO): i overthink a lot (so i start to have difficulty making smarter decisions or thinking of strategies to solve my problems + i still have a sprinkle of self-esteem issues of course... feeling incredibly incompetent is not foreign to me) so i could exaggerate my troubles or make a problem out of nothing 😶, im quite emotional, i have the "dismissive avoidant" attachment style, feeling hopeless quite often aint foreign to me either 😭

bonusbonus: (wow dont i love talking about myself? sdfknsd) i love corgis

Hobbies: dancing, witchcraft, astrology, divination, spirituality, reading fan fiction (LMAOOOO), reading visual novels/playing otome games, painting, drawing, looking into psychology in some type of manner, netflix, swimming, watching anime i guess, trying new things, learning something (new)

Ideal Date: tbh going to a concert of an artist we both enjoy, an arcade or an amusement park (im like a scaredy cat but im almost 100% sure im more likely to go for the “scary” rides if i was with someone i enjoyed hanging out with anyway), probably going on a tropical vacation (cus, beach anddd water activities), water amusement park !!

A Must Have in my Partner: they have to be okay with me pursuing my goals lol; i already have a problem with putting too much energy into others that i dont get to direct that energy onto myself.. so someone who has my best interest in mind + being considerate of me (because.. of that dismissive avoidant attachment style i would say--im just saying this because its the best that i can describe it) and they should be okay with my childlike actions/tendencies lol (like... they shouldnt be repulsed or something like that--that they treat me unpleasantly because of it or something) (oops i just realized thats more than one when u asked just.. one)

extra information: a short drabble would be amazing !!

sorry this was pretty messy and i pretty much just babbled LMAOO

but again, if ever you get to do this (or even if u dont..)

thank you so much!!!

i hope you have an amazing rest of your day hihi <3

sorry it took me a while ! i was just really busy lately and barely got time to write 😅

hope u enjoyy :)

I ship you with..

Nishinoya Yuu !!

- You are the most gorgeous person he knows ;)

- he literally shamelessly approached u the moment he laid eyes on u

- even with ur somewhat quiet first impression, he never gave up making u eventually warm up to him

- doesn’t really mind brute honesty, in fact he thinks of it as a form of bravery

- he also loves seeing your childish side since he himself has one too

- wanna dance around in the rain ?? he will 100% join u !!

- he loves how determined u are to get better and will constantly tell u how proud of you he is for it

- even if things dont go ur way sometimes he will comfort u and tell u that its completely normal to fail sometimes

- there is no overthinking on his watch !

- noya knows how bad it feels and that u definitely deserve a little break but he wont let u laze around too much, trying to help u get back up on ur feet and regain ur confidence is something he never fails to do

- he loves watching u do what u love and is always willing to join u (not that he is always fully understanding of what he is doing)

BONUS :

Cheering you up on a bad day..

You were getting frustrated trying to fix a mistake you made on one of your paintings. You let out a loud groan hiding your face in your hands in exhaustion, finally giving up. Hearing a loud knock on your door, you tell whoever is outside to come in. “HEY, HOW WAS YOUR- ....day ?” noya looks at you with concern in his eyes. “are you okay ?” “yeah i’m fine, its just that this painting won’t look right no matter what i do” you sigh.“maybe i should just throw it away” “you are not gonna throw it away” he says, his tone completely different from before, more serious in fact. “you might just be tired now, so don’t you dare give up now. you can always try again tomorrow” he says walking towards you and holding your hands in his, a little smile forming on his face. “how about you take a break for now ? the sun is really warm and it’s still early; wanna go swimming ?” You look a little unsure. “you still haven’t used that corgi beach towel i got you” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. You chuckle at that, proceeding to look him in the eyes with a small grin forming on you face, “sounds like a plan”...

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously. 

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love.  Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO 

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic. 

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

[rubiesintherough]

Instructions: Always repost with the rules, answer the 11 random questions left for you and leave 11 more for the people you tag!

TAGGED BY: @moonwoken <3

TAGGING (you don’t have to if you don’t wanna!): @aspcrnamentum  ,  @violencefcrged , @mythvoiced,  @tricksterreformed ,  @jcmesbuckybcrnes ,  @tinymute ,  @wedust   and anybody else who wants to do it!  

QUESTIONS I AM ANSWERING

1. how are things going?

been better, been worse. right now leaning to worse and about ready for them to spring back the other way, ya feel? 

2. if you were someone else’s muse, how would your mun describe you?

quiet, sad, in need of hugs but also a huge nerd and animal lover

3. if you could only recommend me three songs, movies or books to get to know you better, which would they be?

lord h.uron’s ghost on the shore,  abc’s forever, and not a movie, but Ask a Mortician’s yt channel

4. what was it that first inspired you to write? what inspires you today?

needed an escape and figured i wanted to make my own, which led me to the rpc here.   now, its the friends i get to write with here and their fantastic muses. 

5. if you had to put together a team of 5 fictional characters plus yourself to save the world, who would you choose and why?

andy from the old guard bc she’s kickbutt and immortal, amos burton from the expanse bc scary murder teddy bear,  sherlock from the  bbc version bc as much as i’d wanna strangle him he smart as hell, nook from animal crossing so we have someone with us we wont feel bad about sacrificing if need be, and maybe klaus from umbrella academy bc.... first of all i love him and secondly. there is no secondly. thats it.  

6. what is your favorite fictional trope? least favorite?

hurt / comfort, people learning how to cope with their past with the help of others.       ....... kinda dark, but the whole  ‘ redemption for abusers ‘   thing, like the   ‘ forgiveness helps you heal ‘. i hate that. makes my blood boil every time. 

7. what unpopular opinion do you have toward the rpc or tumblr?

i feel like callout culture’s really harmful and unnecessary. if you have an issue with someone, block and move on. no one’s forcing you to interact with them. 

8. if you could spend one day with your main muse (or your muse of choice), what would that be like?

listen. if i spent a day with mahia, it would literally be comprised of me getting as much food into her as i can, stocking her up with supplies, showering her with love and comfort and support.... 

9. if you found yourself in one fictional universe of your choosing, which would it be and why?

sub.nautica.    i know its terrifying, but honestly i love the ocean and the chance to explore an alien world just me, myself, and my cuddlefish??  yes pls. 

10. a character you’ve always wanted to write?

idk. u know me, im not one to hold back when it comes to making muses... 

11. what are five things that spark joy for you?

my fiance  ( when he’s not being a butt ), my cats, crocheting, spoooooky ghost videos on yt, mashed potatoes and gravy. 

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU

1. if you have pets, what are their names and how are they doing?  2. what song best describes your muse?  ( muse of your choice if a multi ) 3. what’s your favorite urban legend / ghost story?  4. if you could visit anywhere in the world for free, where would it be?  5. what setting is your muse most comfortable in, ie. city, forest, ect?  6. have you drank enough water today?  7. what’s something that always helps brighten your day?  8. favorite snack when watching movies?  9. what’s one headcanon about your muse ( or muse of choice if multi ) that you haven’t shared, yet?  10. can you play an instrument? is there an instrument you want to learn?  11. are you doing okay?