#i really debated if i should draw the interaction or not

[moeblob]

I went to the eye doctor's yesterday and I, an adopted person, always feel like "oh no I'm failing the interaction" for some reason by not being able to relate. HOWEVER, I got praised for having common sense so it works out.

[gethelpplease]

All the Pretty Stars (shine for you, my love)

Ellie x Reader

tags: fluff, stargazing, loser Ellie, cursing, best friends to lovers, one-shot, Loser!Ellie, Jackson!Ellie

synopsis: You and Ellie have been friends since she first came to Jackson. The moment you saw her, you knew she was special. Years later you suddenly realize you're in love with her. One day while stargazing, everything changes between the two of you.

Or: A fluffy fic with making out and a cute little forehead kiss at the end.

word count: 4.7k

AN: I might make a second part with angst. I'm not sure I just rlly wanna write Ellie angst but we'll see if I ever get the time to. School is taking over my life. Anyway, I posted this on ao3 too: All the Pretty Stars (shine for you, my love) by siriusly_not_moony

Enjoy! <3

The view of the stars in Jackson was the best thing anyone could ever see. Ever since the outbreak, there hasn’t been much light pollution outside of QZs. Meaning,1 there’s a good view almost anywhere else. This makes the view of the stars pretty clear, but Jackson has something everywhere else doesn’t have. Ellie Williams. Stargazing with her isn’t just “stargazing.”

Ellie first got to Jackson when she was fourteen, you remember very clearly. Seeing her for the first time quite literally knocked the breath out of you. You’d been in Jackson for a while before her, still adjusting to the new environment. Tommy had finally given into your pestering to improve your defense skills for patrol at 14. Maria never let you go of course, she said you needed more practice and maybe when you turned 16, she would let you. Once she let up, going on patrols with Tommy, Joel, and Ellie, made the pair of you closer. Your connection with Tommy is how you got to meet Ellie. Without him, you probably would have never approached her. He kept insisting you should talk to her, “She’s only a few weeks apart from you, Joel says she’s a good kid. Just talk to her.” “Kid, you need friends, just say hi.” “You know, Joel says she likes comics. Just like you.”

Meeting Ellie was confusing to describe it at best. She was kind, but very curt with all her responses. You almost felt as if she didn’t really care to get to know you. As for you, she was all you thought about since you first saw her.

Joel and Tommy were talking as the three of them walked down to the stables. You watched quietly as they got closer. Ellie stayed close to Joel, but a bit behind silently looking down, looking anywhere but the pair of brothers. It was obvious she felt a bit out of place. You honestly felt bad for her. She must not know anyone in Jackson yet, the only people she knows are grown adults.

They stopped near the open doors of the stables; you were in the first stall brushing Willow’s mane. She was your neighbor’s horse, but she liked you a lot for some reason.

You leaned against the stall door, “Hi.”

Ellie took a few seconds to turn around and see you, a straight look on her face, but her eyes. She has sad eyes. Beautiful, sad, green eyes. The eyes you want to stare at forever, to draw hundreds of times until it’s perfect. The eyes that put you in a trance when you see them up close. And those freckles.

Regret started to fill your stomach, but you pushed it back. You’re doing this for her, so she has a friend. Not because she’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. Her eyes were so mesmerizing. You’ve never seen eyes so hypnotizing. And they were looking at yours now. “Hi?”

“Oh,” You introduce yourself completely forgetting how social interactions go for a moment. “I—uh Tommy mentioned you’re about my age, I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ve only been in Jackson for about a year, so I know what it’s like to be new to it all. But, um, if you want a look around, I can show you?”

“Uh,” She looked back at Tommy and Joel. They were definitely into whatever it was they were talking about. You could see Ellie’s internal debate deciding if she should or shouldn’t accept your offer. “Sure.”

“Cool! I’m kind of still learning new things about this place every day. It’s kind of awesome how a place like this is growing and flourishing. It gives me hope you know?”

“Yeah.”

“So, where are you from?”

“Boston QZ.”

“Oh.” She seemed distracted. Or uninterested, who could tell? “So, what brought you here?”

She sighs, “It’s a long story. I came here with Joel. He was looking for Tommy. He found him now so…that’s that.”

You didn’t want to ask about that yet, it seemed a bit too sensitive for a first conversation. “This is the community garden. Some people grow their own stuff in their own yards for easy access, but this is the main source. We all help out here.”

You showed her around the most important parts of town. You found out she’s staying around the corner, just a minute's walk away. She cracked a smile once when you mentioned that almost everyone you knew would rather run into infected than listen to Seth drunkenly rant about his philosophical discoveries that make zero sense. You walked her back to her place after roughly less than an hour. You gave her directions to your place and said goodbye with a smile. The one you got in return made you weak to your knees.

After that first interaction, you didn’t speak for a couple of days before you saw her at the diner for breakfast. After that, you got breakfast together every day, which led to hanging out together. After a couple weeks of talking, you actually felt a really strong connection to her. She was your first real friend, and it was the best thing ever.

A couple years later, once Maria let you out on patrol, you convinced her to let you go with Ellie. And Joel and Tommy of course. She wouldn’t trust just the two of you alone. At this point, you spent most of your days with her. You got to know Joel too. You got to know just how sassy that man was despite his tough exterior. He was definitely Tommy’s brother.

Now, it was safe to say Ellie was your best friend. You two also made friends with Dina, Jesse, Cat, Riah, and Travis. You were also acquainted with a few others who you met through Dina. Meeting Dina really brought you out of your shell, and you can thank her for it. She’s the reason why you allowed yourself to become friends with other people. Dina was both yours and Ellie’s closest friend, besides each other. That’s why you came to Dina when you realized you were completely in love with Ellie. You knew you had a crush on her when the two of you had just started talking, but you were convinced it would go away. You pushed it back and kind of thought it did go away, but years later you now know that’s not the case. One day it just dawned on you that you were in love with her. One random, normal day.

You and Ellie were lying about on her bed. You found a bottle of alcohol on patrol and obviously brought it back. You two were drinking out of it just until you felt a buzz, not trying to get too drunk. Because of this, you two reached a somewhat dizzy and sleepy state. She was practicing a familiar tune on the guitar while you were sketching exactly what you saw. You both bonded over drawing, she was definitely better than you. She was always getting so much better so quickly. It was amazing. You were drawing the freckles on her face and that one distinct freckle on the top of her left cheek when you just started staring freely at her. She was distracted and you took the opportunity to just take in all of her features. In doing so, you got a dangerously strong feeling of butterflies in your stomach. You felt it first, and then a few beats later you realized what that meant. Your breath was suddenly gone.

Shit.

You sat up clenching your jaw trying to think straight for just one moment.

I’m in love with Ellie Fucking Williams…

In love. Love. God, this isn’t going to go away.

That night you slept beside her which was kind of a normal thing for the two of you. She slept soundly from what you could hear, but you stayed up for hours nervous and jittery. You only got a few hours of consistent sleep.

When you finally got the chance to tell Dina, she already knew of course. You told her about your “big realization,” but she said it was incredibly obvious from the very beginning. She even thought you and Ellie were dating before you two became friends with her.

She helped you come up with an outline on what to tell Ellie. It really shouldn’t be that difficult to talk about your feelings, but this is Ellie. Your best friend who you know is a bit emotionally constipated. You feel like even if there was a chance that she liked you back, she would never grant herself the ability to do anything about it. For someone so deserving, she never let herself be truly happy.

“You got this.” Dina grinned your way as she walked you to the door.

You spun quickly back towards her ready to go back to her bed and just talk to her instead of Ellie.

Dina grabbed your shoulders and turned you back to the door, literally kicking you out. “Nope. You’re doing this today. Trust me, it’ll work out.”

“No Dina, I really don’t think I can. If she turns me down, I will actually hide away forever. I’ll go throw myself into a horde of infected and it’ll be your fault.”

She lets out a long sigh and gives you a knowing look as you stand outside her door, “If you never do it you could be missing out on something really beautiful. At least try? You both deserve to be happy.”

You groan loudly. You agree with her of course, if the roles were reversed you would probably tell Dina the same thing. “Okay. I’ll do it, just give me a few days to prepare. I’ll talk to her sometime this week. I want to.”

“Yes you will.”

“Thank you Dina. I probably would have rotted in self-doubt without you. I’ll see you for dinner.”

“Bye Hun.” She gives you a small finger wave as you walk away.

After that conversation with Dina, you tried to keep your feelings for Ellie behind a curtain. The last thing you would want is to make things weird between you and her. You also noticed that knowing how you felt and continuing your friendship as normal was pretty tiring. You had to constantly think about every choice you made and every word you said. In a perfect world, you told her the moment you knew and she told you she liked you back. Too bad. This isn’t that world. Ellie is hard to read. Yeah, she smiles at you a lot, will stare at you when she thinks you don’t notice, and she’ll hold you or play with your hair when you guys watch movies. That’s being friendly. You kinda do some of those things with Dina? Despite your internal emotional battle, you told Dina you would tell Ellie. You’re not doing this for Dina though, you’re doing this for yourself. Going on pretending you’re not completely in love with Ellie would be too much.

It was a couple days later when got to spend the entire day with Ellie. Those days came rarely now. You love spending time with Ellie, so it wasn’t exactly a problem, but you definitely needed some time alone at the end of it all. You were laying down in an empty field behind one of the small playgrounds. The grass was a bit taller and uncomfortably itchy, so you had a sheet under you and your mini telescope lens Maria gave you for your 16th birthday. This was your spot to look at the stars at night. Ellie would usually go with you since she loves space too, but you didn’t tell her you were here this time. Because of that, you didn’t expect to hear footsteps approaching. Much less Ellie’s footsteps.

You sit up to look behind you, “What’re you doing here?”

“Tommy told me where you were.”

“I thought you were going to sleep earlier tonight since you have morning patrol.”

“Yeah, but…I dunno, I changed my mind.” She sat beside you partly on the grass. You knew she wouldn’t really be bothered by the grass since she’s wearing pants and a long sleeve, but you scooted over to make a bit more room for her. You patted the spot next to you and she took the offer and smiled, “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You were kinda spacey today. You know? I feel like you zoned out a lot.”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” You stare back up at the sky hoping she isn’t thinking too much into your behavior. “I’ve just been tired.”

“Yet you’re out watching the stars in the middle of the night.”

You chuckled, “Whatever.”

You let out a big sigh. A few moments of silence fall over you two, but it’s comfortable.

You lay back down on your sheet to get a good look at a small bunch of stars that look like one of the constellations you read about. You turn your head a bit to the right, and you are finally able to connect the stars and make out the figure you’ve been trying to find for a few nights. Ellie’s still sitting up, watching you observe the stars. You look at her and she takes a few seconds to notice. She had a soft smile on her face that was so beautiful it haunted you. When she notices you’re shift of attention she darts her eyes around before finally settling back on you, accompanied with a confused look.

“I found it!”

“Found it?”

“The constellation we were looking for the other night. I found it. C’mere.”

She lays down by you, her shoulder touching yours. “Where?”

“Here!” You point to a spot in the sky, but it doesn’t seem very effective. You lean over, your face so close to Ellie’s, looking at the sky. Your eyes are trying their hardest to stay focused on the sky despite the fact that Ellie’s eyes are like magnets. You’re trying to see the stars from her perspective to give her a better idea of where the bunch of stars are. “There.” You say quietly due to your proximity.

When she notices your eyes on the sky her eyes follow, hoping you didn’t see where her eyes were originally. She looks back at you and her eyes dart to your lips before looking back and forth between your left and right eyes. She slightly licks her lips causing you to look at them. It becomes too much so you lay back down in your original spot.

You take a few seconds to regain your calm, releasing a soft sigh. “Um, this was the dog constellation I was telling you about.” You had a moment. You definitely had a moment.

“The one with that super bright star? Sirion? No, wait, Sirius?”

“Yeah, Sirius. Did you learn that from the constellation book I gave you?”

“Obviously…Have you read the space mysteries book I gave you?”

“I’ll have you know that I have read some of it, actually.”

“You haven’t.” She said with a deadpan face.

“No, I really have,” you say giggling, “I swear!”

“I can never tell when you’re being sarcastic.” She rolls her eyes and lets out a gruff breath as she turns her head the other way.

You two lay in silence for a few minutes enjoying the quiet ambience. In Jackson, most settle down around 10:30 p.m. The only noise you hear now is the wind causing leaves to rustle against each other, a few crickets, and the soft background of cicadas.

“I have a question.” Ellie says randomly.

“What?” You respond still laying down on your back, eyes darting between Ellie and the sky. One reason why you love the stars and constellations so much might, or might not, be because of how they remind you of Ellie’s freckles. It just makes so much sense. She has the bigger more prominent freckles under her left eye and above her left eyebrow kind of like how there are brighter stars in constellations. You smile to yourself just thinking about it.

“Okay,” she says moving to lay down on her side with her head propped up on her fist, “you said that you immediately liked me when you first saw me, but what did you mean? Because I was really thinking about it the other day and I remember kind of being a jerk when we first met.”

Thinking about that makes you chuckle. She wasn’t that much of a jerk she just acted as most teens do when they see someone their age. The weird critical glances and kind of guarded attitude. “I don’t know. You—I mean… you weren’t a jerk from what I remember. Maybe I just ignored it. But, you did seem shy like you were afraid to make friends and I think that made me want to be friends with you more. And I liked you when I instantly saw you because you… I don’t know I just immediately knew I had to talk to you. I didn’t have any real friends at that point in my life, but I thought maybe it could be you.”

“Wow.”

“Shut up. I don’t mean to be cheesy but I just got a feeling I guess.”

“No, no, it’s cute.”

“Yeah whatever… What about you? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you’re first impression of me. Just that you’re glad that I talked to you.”

“I mean there’s not much to say. You said it all.”

“Uh, yeah. I said my side. Now I wanna know your side.” You poke her shoulder with your finger to make your point.

“Ok… fine,” She pauses for a second gathering her thoughts, “I remember seeing you kinda linger around when I first rode in with Joel. I didn’t want to look your way ‘cause I knew you were looking at me. I definitely knew you were weird.” You shove her shoulder, a wide smile plastered on your face. “I didn’t really expect to make friends actually. You already know I’ve only ever had one real friend my age, so when you came up to me, I thought I should try. I remember that talk very clearly actually. You gave me a tour and a rundown on how the social life is here. We talked a bit about our interests, and I found out you liked comics too, so I think that did it for me.”

“Aw, it wasn’t my great jokes?”

She shouts, “Ha!” Obviously making fun of you.

“Your puns are just as bad so you better keep your mouth shut.”

“My puns are amazing. You know you love them. You’ve told me before.”

“Mmm, no. Must have me confused for someone else.”

She smiles and nods her head, a sweet look on her face you wish you could take a photo of.

“The moon looks so nice right now.” She says as she stares in awe at the full moon overhead. She then reaches over you to grab the mini telescope lens. When she grabs it, it rolls off a bit causing her to lose her balance and slip. She catches herself before she slams into you, just hovering over you with her hand on the side of your head and the other half-folded on your other side providing her with support.

Your instant reaction was to grab her, so your hand is hovering over her waist, “You okay?”

“Yeah, my bad.” She still hasn’t moved, staring at your eyes, then looking around your entire face.

Your heart is beating too fast and too strong. You feel the need to breathe faster, but you can’t make it too obvious. You’re staring at her lips just waiting for her to do something because you don’t have the will to make the first move. Then you see her lips form into a smirk, so you look back up at her eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” she says letting out a breathy laugh.

“No, what?” You say, turning red. Was she laughing at the way you looked at her lips?

“Just… you.” She’s still chuckling.

“What about me?” Your eyebrows scrunch up, an almost pouted look on your face. You feel very left out of whatever is making Ellie so entertained.

“I don’t know,” she is still laughing. “You just make me smile.”

“Ha ha. Fuck you too.” You reply out of defense feeling like she’s teasing you.

You’re partly confused because of this sudden mood change from Ellie. She’s cute when she’s giggly, but she usually only gets that way when she has a bit of alcohol in her system or when she’s taken a couple hits too many. You smile, brows still scrunched, but her comment makes you blush. You turn away from her thinking, What the fuck was that?

You turn back to face her, but she’s still smiling at you, still hovering over you. Your hand is gone from her waist and now it’s on the floor, feeling like it’s glued down. Your entire body feels frozen as if gravity has doubled in force, trying to staple you to the ground.

She stopped laughing so there’s a moment of pure silence between the two of you. That’s when it feels too real, the energy around the two of you changes completely. Her smile slowly falls and she’s staring at your lips, then looks into your eyes with permission. You could be imagining it, but that thought depleted from your brain when Ellie finally leans in. She lowers her head, only a centimeter from yours for one second almost second-guessing herself. Butterflies flood your stomach and then your entire body as you take in what is happening. You both end up moving your heads at the same time and it’s the best thing in the world. Her lips touch yours so gently, lingering there for a bit. You try to process the moment, but you can only focus on Ellie.

Ellie. Ellie. Ellie.

You move your lips against hers slowly. It’s a closed-mouth kiss that lasts a few long seconds. She pulls away, eyes closed, still so close, and she sighs shakily. You’re still looking at her in pure shock and admiration because this is it. This is what you were so scared of and it’s all you ever wanted, except you didn’t have to make the first move. She did.

Ellie repositions herself so she’s not relying on only her arms for support. She kneels down, one of your legs between the two of hers and then she lowers herself back on top of you, one hand on your neck and the other beside your head.

This time, you lean in to kiss her first and it’s different. You know what it’s like and you want more. She holds your head closer, pushing you into her as much as she can. One of your hands find the back of her head, fingers brushing through her hair. The other hand is under her shirt on her waist, moving back and forth occasionally to her lower back. She slightly moans into your mouth at the sensation. It’s not freezing outside, but your fingers hold a slight chill against her warm back. You’re thinking you could just live in this moment forever, but then things get better and your mind starts racing.

More.

Ellie’s the one to deepen the kiss, slipping her tongue into your mouth first. Then, to top it all off, she grabs your leg, pulling it down to get you closer to her. She doesn’t move her hand, keeping it on your leg stroking up and down slowly occasionally squeezing your thighs. You use that leg to feel closer to her, wrapping it around her. She pulls away for a second and you think it’s over, but she takes a deep breath and starts leaving feathery kisses down your jaw to your neck. Your eyes fall shut. It’s a struggle to stay calm when you feel her lips on your skin, her hand on your neck, fingers in your hair, and her other hand stroking your thigh.

“Ellie.” You barely croak the word out, not wanting her to stop. “Ellie,” you say a bit louder now, still a whisper “Ellie.” The last time you say her name, it comes out as a giggle. Her lips brushed against a sensitive spot on your neck.

She looks up looking dazed, “Yeah?” she whispers back.

You grab her face to pull her closer and kiss her briefly, her eyes still closed for a few seconds after you pull away and a smile forming on her face. Meanwhile, you’re grinning like a fool. You push her off of you playfully as you laugh, “We have to get back. We need some sleep.”

“Five more minutes.” She sighs staring up at the sky.

“Okay.” You sigh, “Five minutes.”

You both lay in each other’s company for those five minutes, silently processing what just happened.

“Okay five minutes are up, it’s pretty late.” You say, grunting as you push yourself up and begin to gather your things.

Ellie’s still laying down. You both know you should go home and sleep, but you don’t want to leave this moment just yet.

You sigh and kick her leg. “Get up.” You say reaching your hand out.

“Damn, okay.” She takes the invitation pulling herself up.

The two of you begin to walk towards the road where you live not knowing whose house you’re exactly going to. Ellie’s place comes up first and as you slow down to say bye, she doesn’t stop.

“Let me drop you off.” She insists turning to face you.

“Drop me off? Ellie, we’re already at your place, I’ll be fine walking down the street alone.” You say in disbelief.

“Come on,” she says grabbing your hand as she drags you down the street towards your place.

“Uh-” you utter in surprise. What is this girl on?

You walk for a couple minutes looking over at Ellie, she looks lost in thought as she unconsciously swings your hands.

“I’m grabbing breakfast extra early in the morning with Joel, he wants to give me woodworking lessons again.” She looks away, “He’s—he’s trying.”

“That’s good though…I don’t really know exactly what happened between the two of you, but I know he cares about you so much and from how you talked about him Ellie, I know you care about him just as strongly. I want you to be happy, and if this is how, then that’s good.”

She looks at you thoughtfully, then looks down. “Yeah.” A slight pause, “Thanks.”

“You’re going to do that before patrol?”

“Yeah.”

“’Kay. Do you wanna come over later? I was just going to help out in the stables for a bit after then kinda chill for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds good.” A smile back on her face. She turns to walk you up to your door, “See you tomorrow—or later I guess.”

“Goodnight, Ellie.” You smile softly at her, releasing your joined hands. You want to tell her just how much you’re going to remember tonight and how much you like her, but not yet. Not yet.

While you’re thinking, she leans in to brush a soft kiss on your forehead, catching you off guard. She doesn’t let it linger too long, but just long enough for you to still feel a tingle in her lips’ absence. “Night.” She whispers against your forehead. She turns and walks back down the road, just like that. Meanwhile, you’re watching her go in disbelief at how much happened in one night. This is going to change a lot.

[ageingfangirl2]

A Little Goes A Long Way! Buggy (OPLA)

SMUT! A week has passed since a drunken encounter between you and your captain occurred and he's all you have on your mind, little do you know your captain feels the same way. Buggy x Reader (Female)

Part 2

Y/N

It had been a week since you'd gotten drunk with the crew after a successful raid that came with a lot of treasure. It had been a week since you drunkenly told your captain that you wanted him to fuck you and that you craved him, and the captain followed through fucking you beneath the deck. It had been a week since he left dark hickeys on your inner thighs, chest and neck that had only started to fade recently. It had been a week since your last interaction, and you weren't sure if he regretted that night because his orders came from other crew members.

There was one thing you were sure of and that was that you couldn't get him off your mind. He was like a drug and you were addicted. Maybe you'd been at sea too long and needed a release. You would fool around when you docked in a port with random guys, but the captain made those guys seem like boys and sex wouldn't be the same unless it was with him.

You weren't the only female crew member, but you'd been around the longest. Of course, Buggy had screwed them, and they had stories to tell that only piqued your interest. Alvida was the only one who didn't have an interest in him that way. The other crew were more feminine than you, but you could draw an eye or two, choosing to make men come to you and not the other way around. But here you were debating going to Buggy and begging for round two.

'y/n can you do me a favour?' Alvida asks, popping her head around the kitchen door.

You stop chopping vegetables and face her smiling, the two of you got along really well since she joined, 'Anything for you Alvida.'

She winks at you, 'I was asked to gather intel on our next target from a guy in town. Can you deliver it to the captain please, I'm going back into town.'

she slaps some documents down on a barrel and you roll your eyes, 'Of course, go get laid.'

She blows you a kiss, 'See you tomorrow beautiful, don't do anything I wouldn't do.'

You laugh at her antics as she vanishes. You finish chopping the vegetables before picking up the documents. It looked like you had an excuse to see Buggy, you just weren't sure what was going to happen.

BUGGY

Running a ship was hard work. Yes, we had a success last week but now we need to move on to the next target. Alvida should have something for me, though I wasn't quite sure where the damn woman was. Working also got my mind off y/n of all people. They'd been on the crew for a couple of years, mainly helping in the kitchen and showing impressive knife skills in shows. They put up with my rants, and flirting and took punishments like a champ. I never once pursued them, unlike other female crew members out of respect. So imagine my surprise when a week ago when they were drunk they came up to me and said they wanted to fuck and had been thinking about me for a while.

I'm a man and gave into my carnal desires, taking y/n in the shadows, pounding into them as they begged for more. I left marks all over their body, and they were beautiful in the light of day when they weren't covered. But for a week now I'd been ignoring them, assuming that once sober they had regrets.

'Captain can I come in?' y/n calls out, knocking on the door.

Well, this would be interesting. I take a deep breath, 'come in.'

y/n walks in smiling, they are always a happy person, and this makes it hard to read them, 'Alvida's a little busy and asked me to deliver this intel.'

y/n puts the folder on the desk but doesn't immediately leave. I sit back in my chair and smirk, 'something else on your mind?'

y/n closes their eyes and takes a deep breath before pointing an accusing finger my way, 'I'm all over the place and it's your fault.'

My smirk reaches my ears and I chuckle, 'Mmm, it's not all on me, you know y/n,' I say teasingly, 'I was minding my own business having a couple of drinks when you came onto me. Been thinking about me all week have you?'

y/n opens their eyes and a blush gives them away. I detach a hand and use it to pull them towards me, forcing them onto my lap which they straddle without any further prompting.

I unbutton their shorts and slip my fingers inside, shocked to find them not wearing any underwear, 'dirty girl.'

y/n bites their lip, 'I need to do laundry, this wasn't planned.'

I nod along, mischief in my eyes, 'You didn't lock the door. Do you want someone to walk in on us?'

This wasn't my first rodeo, I knew exactly where to touch, rub, pinch and how much pressure to apply to the clit to get certain responses. y/n was putty in my hands whimpering and trying to keep control, but this was my fight to win.

I lick my lips, 'answer me. Do you want to get caught with your captain? Do you want the crew to think you're another whore for my dick?'

y/n's whimpers were enough to get me hard, but they still kept eye contact which was hot, '...maybe...right now...I want you inside me...'

I don't give any warning before I move away from the clit and thrust two fingers inside their tight warm cunt, 'BUGGY!' they squeal loudly, and squirm on my lap.

'Tell me what you want,' I whisper, voice low, and y/n shudders beneath me.

'...faster...please...' they beg and a moan slips out.

I add a third finger and quicken the pace. Beads of sweat form on y/n's forehead as they come undone around me. y/n bucks their hips and grinds against me, 'FUCK!' I exclaim as y/n starts fucking themselves on my fingers matching my pace.

if anyone walked past my quarters right now all they'd hear were y/n's moans, 'You really are a dirty girl. So desperate and needy, I should have fucked you sooner,' I laugh.

With one more forceful thrust from me y/n cums on my fingers still inside them. They breathe heavily coming down from their high, the blissful look in their eyes turning me on even more, '...fuck...Buggy...'

I remove my slick fingers and bring them to my lips, licking them clean, 'so sweet. I didn't have to do much, you fucked yourself and it was hot.'

y/n's face turns a darker shade of red before they bury it in my chest in embarrassment at their slutty actions. I can't contain my laughter as I hold them against me and kiss the top of their head, 'next time I'm going to watch you finger fuck yourself y/n. You're captain's dirty girl now.

[penncilkid]

Been thinking about my experiences as a POC within fandom while also being an artist and how much that sucks sometimes. This is primarily in regards to the Redacted fandom, but could be applied to any other fandom honestly.

Proper "fussing" under the cut (for those who would rather not see):

Sometimes, I really stop and think about what it must be like to be a white person in fandom, especially when you're an artist. To see yourself reflected in the spaces you exist in all the time. There are some exceptions to this, of course. For example, lack of body diversity is just as much of a problem in my opinion (Like fat people exist. Disabled people exist. Fat, disabled people exist. You can draw them, y'know? /rhet) But generally speaking, it's not difficult to find designs that probably look like you. There will be blondes, brunettes, redheads even— It's everywhere you look.

I don't think most people realize how isolating that ends up feeling though.

Because it's not just the fact that most of the art/designs you'll stumble upon won't resemble you. It's the fact that the prevalence dictates how everyone else interacts with fandom too.

Do you know how much it sucks seeing a post saying "So we all agree that Asher's blonde, right?" and knowing that most people are thinking of a white guy and nothing else?

Or noticing how Alexis, a generally "hated" character in the fandom, is the only vampire most people are willing to make visibly brown?

How about the fact that Gavin, the "thrilling" and "sexy" incubus, has so many black and brown designs— But I can count the non-white Lasko designs I've come across on my hand?

People can do whatever they want. I've said it before, and I'll continue to repeat it when I make these rambles. If you want to make every single design you have varying shades of white and never stray from that, that's your prerogative. But for the love of god, I wish I didn't feel like I was fucking crazy for talking about how much that shit sucks to see as a person of color.

On top of that, do you know how frustrating it is to watch white artists get praised for generic diversity when POC artists have been consistently bringing forth such compelling, stunning designs to table? Like I see the kind of shit that gets praised in this fandom and what doesn't. Racial ambiguity or the slightest addition of a curl gets treated like it's revolutionary— And that's only if it's the "correct" character. It has to "make sense", right? The same way Sam has to have sun-kissed, golden skin even after he's been turned, or the way Guy has to be white because there's no way someone with that personality could be anything but.

Do you know what it's like to be filled with such a sense of joy because someone made a design where a character had your skin tone or hair texture or facial feature? Like, I genuinely have a strong reaction whenever I find a black or brown design in this fandom because they're so rare in comparison to everything else. And when I really stop to think about that, I realize how fucked up of a phenomenon that is.

I love the designs that I've made, but I've also noticed which ones "do better" comparably. I don't change much of anything with how I go about posting or promoting them. The only difference is that some of them fit what is considered widely "canon" in fandom. And the others... don't. I go out of my way to make every design POC in some regard, and you can usually tell visually even without the addition of colors. I'm not gonna stop doing that because I know why I started in the first place. But fuck, it does start to hurt seeing white artists with the same general white designs get hyped up endlessly while I internally debate if I should even make another character look like me or not. If it'll even matter to anyone but me.

Some days, I just really wish it didn't feel like shit being black in this fandom. I hate knowing that I'm gonna post this, and I'll probably get responses for other people of color primarily.

But maybe putting this out will help that pill get easier to swallow.

[starry-miki]

Well when I said I might post something in March I didn’t actually think I’ll have something done and posted the first day on March, put it’s also an appreciation post to a small handful of people I see (semi) often for a while, I don’t know where this is coming from but I just decided to do it, like every other major “project” I do.

During my time when I was in my art slump I have missed valentines and I’m still upset by it cause I absolutely love valentines and it’s beautiful aesthetic, so this is kinda my “redemption” for it, technically white day is coming up in March but I just feel like it doesn’t feel just as special. 🥲

But I drew old man and barbs as markable plushies, and honestly turning them to markable plushies is oddly therapeutic, since it was so simple and fast. Still debating if I should do the entire side characters plus the additional trio, so I’ll see if people would like for me to do it. 🤔

Aside from that i just wish to to give my wonderful gratitude and appreciation w/ little note for those specific people, but to everyone else in general, I would like to thank you all for your patience’s and interactions, while I haven’t been that active until the last few months of last year, and once again haven’t been that active the last month, I do see people’s comments and replies and fully enjoy reading them, even if I don’t always reply back, I truly enjoy interacting with the OM community, and everyone who I’ve met thus far, and hope to continue being in the community for a while. ☺️💕

To my cutie patooties: 

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

💕 @nevvn 💕

Frankly I think I might be a person of few words when it comes to expressing my feelings and really try my best to come up with something to say in the last hour but nothing comes up, all I have to say is: “you cutie patootie” and the saying: an artist will draw if they like you. 🥰💕

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

💕 @blithesharem 💕

I really enjoy reading and seeing your post and your OCs and your occasional fanfics, expect that one time, I’m think I’m still in shock about it. 😀

A few days ago I did ask if you had a persona so I could draw them into a markable plushie, but if you would prefer one of your kids (OCs) into a markable plushies that’s cool too, but would love to draw out your persona if you were to create one. 🥰💕

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

💕 @yurihisachi 💕

I do see you occasionally pop up time to time in my nonfictions, but I still would like to appreciate your presence, thought it would be pretty funny if I’ve already mentioned you in post in a different username and this is a side account of some sort. But if it isn’t, feel free to contact me so I can draw you up a markable plushie of an OC you have or a persona. ^^ 💕

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

💕 @impish-ivy 💕

Another face I occasionally see pop up on my nonfictions, thank you so much for interacting with my posts! I’m not sure if you would like Minnie to be turned into a markable plushie or if you perhaps have a persona, but do let me know. ☺️💕

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

💕 @undertalefanzz-blog 💕

I honestly got no comment to you, if you know you know. 😘

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

💕 @venusdaplanet 💕

I don’t see you too often but when I do, I absolutely love seeing your comments, very interesting to read and makes you stand out in the crowd. If you got a persona or an OC I can draw up into a markable plushie let me know, I’ll be happy to draw one up for my application to you! 🥰💕

[iraprince]

do u have any advice for those that want to run a quest?

it feels a LEETLE silly answering this when all my own are currently on hiatus bc i got busy (SORRY TO CALLIST0 READERS LOL) BUT!!! yes i do. i have only ever run quests/interactive comics on the site questden, so i guess as a baseline this will kind of all be geared towards that, but i think most of this should translate to any hosting situation

you have to be cool with your plots branching and mutating in unexpected ways, and you have to be willing to play ball with your readers. quests are a collaboration between the author and the audience. it often feels a lot like gming a tabletop campaign (and that's the origin!! questden, specifically, was originally an offshoot of /tg/.) -- we've all had or heard about bad GMs who view their position as that of a narrative dictator who exists to punish and prod a captive group of players thru their own personal novel, but a good GM is interested in telling stories as a group. u have final say and have to stay true to the important stuff abt ur story, but if u get mad or frustrated when ur readers want to explore something "off topic" or aren't following the threads of ur narrative the way u expected them to, u don't actually want to run a quest, u just want to make a webcomic w mandatory comments. (the flip side of this is: consider if the story u want to make is the right one for an interactive quest. if it is REALLY important to u that the plot beats of a story go a certain way, maybe save it for a medium where u have more control!)

keep it loose and fast. the art does not matter. i am rly guilty of not following this one, but i still think it's really important! one of the things i like best about quests is the barrier to entry is very low and you SHOULD be able to start and maintain one very quickly. if i were better at keeping my art scrabbly and sketchy and loose, my stuff would not go on hiatus as often as it does. draw fast! it's NICE if the art is gorgeous to look at and definitely will draw readers, but it's way better if the art is simple enough that you can update frequently and without much stress. the quality of ur writing + character building, and whether u are telling a story that's engaging and that ur readers feel meaningfully involved in, is 100000x more important than the art.

on the more nitty gritty side: try to have a hook in each update. one of the most common reasons suggestions die off is readers being unsure of what they're supposed to do next. sure, too much spoonfeeding could end up feeling like railroading, and you don't have to end every single update by getting right in their faces and yelling "WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT??", but when you finish an update try to take a second to put yourself in a reader's shoes and see if there's an obvious next step. is there a course of action to decide on/debate, are there clear questions they can ask an npc, etc -- i can't think of a great way to describe it, but you want to avoid ending an update on a note where the player character and readers are basically sitting there looking at each other like "um... okay. that's that, then." some ppl even just end all their updates w multiple choice options, which is a super simple way to keep things moving if it fits the style of what ur doing. if you don't want it to be that overt but you still can't think of a way for there to be a clear hook, you can at least try to leave a little nudge in the narration that invites the readers to try to tie whatever they've just done/learned back into the pc's main goals/motivations or current tasks. (on this subject, VERY useful for your main character to have a very specific goal or end destination that everyone is on the same page abt. it's harder for your plot to lose momentum if you can always point at what your readers are supposed to be moving toward!)

finally: KEEP UPDATING EVEN IF YOU GET VERY FEW/NO SUGGESTIONS. it's a niche genre. questden is a small website. it's hard to get people to read something new, especially if it's in a new and unfamiliar format (and especially especially when it's on a website that looks like a chanboard lmao). picking up readers takes a long time, and a lot of people lurk without suggesting (ESPECIALLY if it's a difficult/plot-important decision, and also especially in the opposite, if it's a very obvious next step and someone else has already commented what most ppl would say). it's very tempting to want to wait for more suggestions bc u "only" have one or two, and then that wait becomes stagnation, and then you're frustrated and u end up dropping the quest bc "nobody cares." instead u just have to push thru!!!! u only have two suggestions and u wish u had more? maybe next update u'll get more. u have NO suggestions and u feel like that means ur quest is dead in the water? NOPE! the solution is to update again, bc maybe ppl with latch on more and have something to say in the next scene. the more u update ur quest, the more u'll be able to talk abt it (and maybe get more readers), and specifically in the case of questden the more ur thread will be bumped to the front page. think abt how many times you've seen ppl talking abt a webcomic or a book and thought "i need to check that out eventually...." but it takes months for you to actually do it. 99.9999% of the time, ppl need to see something MULTIPLE TIMES before they check it out!! most readers do not come from clicking something the very first time they see it!! i know it can feel lonely and discouraging, but u owe it to ur art and the stories u want to tell to keep trying, even if engagement is very low at first, otherwise you're killing it before it's even had a chance. like, get shameless about it. ask your buddies to comment on your quest. but give that horse a few really good whacks before you decide it's dead!! i think that's my main thoughts. if you have any more specific questions i'm happy to help if i can! but also i think you'll learn the most by just jumping in and fucking around. quests are easy to pick up and easy to drop, and imo do really well as a playground where u test different ways to draw and tell stories, so might as well just get messy.

[david-talks-sw]

Hey,

I saw your post in which you defended Mace Windu and it is such a good post. Thank you.

At the moment I debate with someone on twitter and it is super frustrating because they are saying Mace is a potential villain because he hates the Sith and wants to kill Anakin in episode I (even through he doesn't admit it).

I'm slightly shocked that someone thinks like this. Could you maybe help me to argue that Mace isn't a villain and a potential child killer?

Hey there!

I appreciate you asking me this, but honestly it looks to me like this is a debate you just won't "win" and you should quit while you're ahead.

Firstly, because those are two arguments so ridiculous and baseless that they have to either

be made in bad faith, AKA you're arguing with someone who's literally grasping at straws and making bullshit arguments for the sake of having the last tweet. In which case you can quit interacting with them because this is a victory in and of itself.

be made by someone completely insane and/or who has made their own headcanon about it. In which case, you might as well quit because there's no way you'll change this person's mind.

But, secondly, being pro-Jedi on Twitter is hell.

I'm not kidding, there's literally SO many people who think the point of the Prequels is the Jedi's failure that if you try to dispel the notion, a rain of (factually incorrect) anti-Jedi arguments falls floods your notifications, and it inevitably devolves into "this guy missed the point of the Prequels".

I'm training myself more and more to take a page out of the Jedi's book and just "let go" because the shit I see sometimes is just infuriating. Like this one, I saw last night:

Out of 154 collected quotes where George Lucas talks about the Jedi, their relationship with Anakin and their rules (namely the attachment one), he is only critical about them twice.

TWICE! OUT OF 154!

But I didn't reply to this.

I drafted the tweet, then deleted it because this is such a big subject that you're not gonna be able to dispel it with a single tweet (and fuck getting Twitter blue, are you crazy? but even if you did, you really think anyone will read your essay of a tweet?)

And also because last year, I got into an argument re: if Qui-Gon was a better master for Anakin than Obi-Wan (my opinion is "nope"). And I argued the hell out of my case. You know what I got in return?

Fucking nothing.

All I got was the people I was arguing against (who kept piling on on like the 5th tweet in a thread instead of reading everything from the beginning, which was messy in and of itself) just... stop replying.

At some point when you're in that deep, you think it'll inevitably end with your "opponent" going:

'well argued sir, you have completely changed my mind for I have now seen the truth; jolly good show'.

Instead all you get is... nothing. They stop replying.

You don't get the satisfaction of an admission of defeat and you don't wanna be the person spamming "WELL?! NOTHING TO SAY?!" because that's just pathetic.

So all you're left with is an hour of your life gone, WASTED proving "I know more about a fictional universe than you, Internet stranger".

My suggestion is: break the wheel, turn that outrage into creativity and instead of getting into debates with people whose minds you'll never change, write a fanfic/draw a comic/shoot a short film that will transfer the emotions you feel re: Windu to anyone witnessing it.

It's a much more productive approach than arguing with someone whose either grasping at straws or genuinely thinks MACE WANTED TO KILL A CHILD????!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[kitsunefyuu]

I got in an argument with two bkdk shippers AT THE SAME TIME on a thread on twitter and it was just.... DELUSINAL

Sorry if this bothers you, I just need to share this with someone else cuz I'm so shocked after that.... If you don't want to post this then don't.

I thought that I knew how they can be but having a direct confrontation made left me literally SHOCKED because I've never encountered & talked with people so onto something to the point that they misunderstand what they read with their own eyes.

They claimed that Bakugo and Izuku's character developement only happeneds when they are together wich is just SO WRONG. For Bakugo you could argue that it is like that because he learns to calm down and accept other ppl but with Izuku it is clear as hell that it's not the case. Take vigilante deku arc as an exampre, take those last chapters as an example of Izuku's developement that is not done alongside Bakugo's.

But what actually shocked me the most was the "Bakugo saw All Might's vestige so he must be inside ofa" but it didn't go in the direction you might think it went.

Instead of saying that he still has ofa embers left or something the guy who started the thread with their bkdk ramblings said that it was confirmed by Hori that Bakugo has no embers left and that the reason why he can join the vestige realm is because his "feeligs of love" broke the rules of ofa. Wdym broke the rules of ofa you ask? Well he was bringing up the panel in which it was explained Afo's plan to steal ofa by using Tomuras hatred. Yeah. That is how Bkg "broke" ofa's rules. Bc if Afo is "enhanced" by hatred, whatever this means, it has NEVER happened nor implied, then ofa's rule for new users to be passed on/someone to exist in the realm can be affected by love. This was never even implied to be able to happen. It's just bullshit. HE AIN'T COMING BACK THIS ARC LET HIM STAY PASSED OUT WHAT DO U HAVE WITH HIM AND LET IZUKU HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPEMENT WITH TENKO

I SHOULD'VE SAID THIS TO THEM BUT I DIDN'T CUZ I COULDN'T CONTINUE WRITING TO TWO FRIKIN ANNOYING, DELULU PPL AT THE SAME TIME.

They ended up telling me that I didn't read the manga. Yeah, sure, I didn't read.

Oh and the guy that rambled about bkdk had 'proshipper' in his bio so, yeah, he was already disgusting.

And it seems that the other bkdk's also think the same delusions bc this is what I found on another unrelated post: "Soooo Izuku going to share Explosion Quirk with Kacchan. This really have sense, he losing every Quirk he have but Kacchan went to OFA alive, since Deku will not lose OFA but only OFA quirk he can share Explosion Quirk since Kacchan break OFA rules."

Frickin delusional

Sorry if I bothered you.

And this is why I just avoid talking to BkDk shippers or interacting with anyone on twitter in general. Sorry twitter users I know you need to rely on it but I draw the line at interacting with insane people. You should just block them there no reason to debate them.

On another note, Proshipper was originally meant to just say for shipping. As in leave people alone and let them ship, it other people who turned it into problematic ship. Just wanted to clear that up since it feels like Anti's have took something meant to be about being inclusive into something disgusting, and people with bad intentions ran with it. It sad.

Now back to BkDk, don't worry most of these delusional people aren't going to stay long. With how shallow and delusional their love for the series is they will eventually run out of steam once the series in. That's my hope anyway, love or hate the DFO theory but at the least the people in the fandom are actually talking about the plot and story.

While BkDk are only hyperfocused on their ship to the point of obsession. Ignoring everything that contradicts it like you can enjoy a ship and not be insane about it. I like TdDk but you don't see me trying to twist canon into something unrecognizable for it. As I know it not end game nor is romance even important.

It's a shonen manga first. Romance is not it main goal or purpose, again it's twitter. Just ignore them or block them. They aren't worth your time at ALL, your mental health will thank you for it.

[yonpote]

under cut cuz i talk too much lol

i am not blaming dan or anything (and obviously this has been a joke in lgbt spaces for forever) but i do think he unintentionally enabled the like "homophobia is a good thing actually" type jokes and like i definitely make them too, and im always seeing jokes on here like "god why are they Like This" etc. but i think some people just dont know the line or view them so much as friends that they don't think about how it could read differently from someone who is essentially a stranger. ive said smth similar before of like, dnp (ESP DAN...) used to be not great at drawing boundaries esp since youtube and social media culture were so different back then, but now even when they draw hard lines ppl either continue to step right over them, or dont understand exactly where the line goes. they dont care if u write smut or dead dove fics, they dont care if u make shippy fanart, but like maybe dont tag them in buttsecks? (or maybe do, idk theyre being so unhinged lately maybe we gotta start @'ing them in catboy porn (JOKING))

i was talking w a friend a little bit ago about the exact differences between the generally speaking philosophies between older fans and younger fans. it seems that older fans embrace creating transformative works and having their own interpretations on who dnp are, whereas younger fans want to know dnp on a personal level and want dnp to know Them and recognize them not just as fans but as people. and OFC there are older phannies who want the parasocial interaction and younger phannies who write fic and people who do neither, and people who do both! (hi :3) but then some people have a difficult time being able to marry the two ideas maybe?

heres the truth. dan and phil are real human beings who have made a career largely off their shared dynamic together, BOTH because they genuinely enjoy creating and being together AND because a lot of people really get invested in it and it makes them more money. they don't mind fic or art, you probably SHOULDNT tag them in the saucy stuff, but they know it's out there and generally have been respectful of fan spaces and knowing where OUR boundaries lie (altho maybe the line was toed w the roblox video but thats debatable.) they really do care about their audience both in order to please us and keep us coming back, AND because they see how much theyve affected us as people and have a deep *Sarapocial Relationship with us.

there are both parasocial AND tranformative ways to break boundaries, and oftentimes they can be one and the same. they aren't our friends they arent our dads and they arent objects with no feelings. they don't stalk our accounts but they are still able to see whatever we post publicly. theyve seen so many horrible things and have had many horrible things happen to them, and while no one can be certain something like that won't happen again, now that they have been able to be more honest with us about a lot of things they are able to trust us a little bit more.

anyway ramble over back to me talking abt how dan should embrace their transness

[mothmoonle]

Let's talk about meif'wa titties

NSFW warning, there are drawings

I'm thinking about this specifically in terms of meif'was but it applies to werewolves as well.

I love hybrid biology, combining animal attributes with humans', and just trying to 'realistically' apply fantasy elements. Recently I've been figuring out how I want to design meif'wa's (and werewolves) and I came across a roadblock.

I've decided to make meif'wa have 6 nipples (and wolves 8). I wanted more biological differences between hybrids and humans, and different hybrid species. The dilemma is combining 6 nipples to human biology. To do this I see three possibilities (I've drawn them, the tits, if you don't want to see bare titties look away):

Meif'wa have 6 nipples, and each nipple has a tit.

Meif'wa have 6 nipples, the top two have breast tissue, and the remaining 4 don't

Meif'wa have 6 nipples, and no breast tissue (or very little)

Secret fourth option: normal 2 nippled two tittied meif'wa, but where's the fun in that?

(I'm not very good at drawing, this is just to get a visualisation, bare with me here)

The first one is a monstrosity, I don't even want to think about how bras would work.

The second doesn't really make sense, why only two nipples having breasts? Breasts were evolved so a sexual organ could be easily seen when humans interact, developing higher on the torso than other animals to keep them in line of sight as we are bipedal. On one hand you only need one pair, but then again these are meif'wa, cats don't have tits, why should meif'wa?

The third one, no titties and 6 nipples, I think makes the most sense. Breast tissue isn't required to lactate (flat chested people can breastfeed, and the milk ducts themselves are quite small). If meif'wa don't have tits, then being big or small probably isn't a beauty standard for them.

I think werewolves would have no breast tissue, for the same reasons.

I also saw a piece of art where the meif'wa had their breasts fade into having their hair colour, which I'm interpreting as fur. So now I'm debating that if meif'wa have tits, or even just the nipples, to have fur around them.

I am open to discussing this with anyone who doesn't think I'm insane

[poppet-seed]

I should really just become a Sleuth jesters fanart artist at this point.

A small while ago @naffeclipse revealed the heights of the boys in Sleuth Jesters and when I compared it in a height chart I was floored. They're HUGE.

It's been at the back of my head for ages so I drew the whole gang.

Y/N height is up for debate as it is the Readers height. I just went with the average height for her.

ALSO YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE HOW I DRAW THEIR OUTFITS. GOD DAMN! I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SHOW THAT OFF FOR A WHILE.

Also I wanted to add poppet for my own self indulgent pleasure.

She's a small batista that works in a coffee shop Y/N has been known to drop by to get caffeine. Her and poppet have a complicated relationship. Kinda friends but Y/N teases poppet and poppet hates/ loves it. They respect each other.

They met when Y/N happened to come across poppets coffee shop getting robbed. And came to help. They talk occasionally when Y/N is available.

Usually when the detectives are busy on a tricky case and Y/N needs someone to talk to or they'll go insane. Poppet will probably never meet any of the boys unless it's through Y/N

This isn't Sleuth jesters related but I really just want to say thankyou to everyone for making me feel welcome here on tumblr. It means so much to me that people have taken the time to interact with me and make me feel more confident and comfortable on a social media I was nervous to join.

I really mean it. Thankyou.

Y'all are sweethearts.

[garoumylove]

Forgive me OPM darlings for I have sinned...

I see a few people reading and interacting with my posts lately which makes my heart super happy but I think it's time to come clean.

I have committed the cardinal sin: I do not like the ending of the MA arc or the way Garou is characterised post his fight with Saitama.

I'm sorry...I'm sorry if this lets you all down. I know that this is not the Done Thing in the OPM fandom but I just...can't.

Now let me be clear because confessing to this comes with so many assumptions.

-NO, I DO NOT HATE THE MANGA. I fell in love with Garou through the manga. He become the light of my life during the A-Class fight. I think the manga did an amazing and brilliant job of capturing him and his spirit up until a certain point.

-NO, I DO NOT THINK THE MANGA SHOULD HAVE BEEN A 1 TO 1 CARBON COPY OF THE WEBCOMIC. While I do think the webcomic did a better job of Saitama vs. Garou and its aftermath than the manga, I don't think it should have been a straight up copy of it.

So what don't I actually like?

I stopped loving it after Garou got to the surface after the long hiatus of us not seeing him due to the Psykos fight.

Ever since he re-emerged he was not the same cocky, decisive, independent , threatening character. He was completely softened up to the point where, to me personally, his personality was no longer recognisable as the Garou I fell in love with.

I've had many discussions with people who feel similar to me and people who feel the complete opposite. The deal is that Garou since then has been really pure, way more than before.

I'm not upset because he's happy, I always wanted him to be, I just don't like the pure, age regressed Garou. He seems more naive and comical than before. To me, he feels more like Luffy now than Garou. It's not that I wanted him to be depressed and angry all the time, I just wanted him to be happy but more of a cocky young adult rather than the kid-like Garou we have now. I didn't want him to submit to authority so easily and for Bang to treat him like a small naughty child. I wanted him to reconcile with Bang and have a more mature mentor/mentee relationship and probably not so soon after his defeat.

I don't want to get too much more into this because I know this is a very sensitive topic and people get really upset about it as I've learned through personal experience. But I just wanted to be completely honest with anyone who may be reading or interacting with my posts.

I understand why so many people do like this much softer, child-like Garou and I think it really comes down to personal preference and unfortunately, that just isn't mine. I will continue to write and draw Garou as I see him, the Garou that I have built up in my mind based on everything up to the surface fight. The Garou that I fell in love with.

It's just my preference, just like some people like soft and fluffy fanfics and some people prefer darker, more brooding stuff.

I think there's no question that Garou's characterisation has changed to become more of a sweet comic relief and that's just something I'm not that attracted to.

I respect everyone's preferences and opinions and headcanons of Garou and other characters but these are mine.

I'm just going to keep doing what I've always been doing but I wanted to be honest with this because some people take this very seriously and this debate has ended friendships.

Please love the Garou that you love and enjoy what you enjoy. I guess I am just a heretic and will continue to be so. I'll go say my ten Hail Marys now ;)

[marshmallowprotection]

can i request V and Seven with a ray of sunshine reader who’s a horror artist and writer? like cosmic horror typa thing,,,, thank you,,,,,,

V has heard Jumin spend hours talking about occult media. It's not his first rodeo with this kind of content; it certainly won't be his last. He loves listening to his friend talk about these things even if it's not the kind of art he is interested in. It doesn't matter if you enjoy the trade you're talking about! What really matters is that you're listening to something that matters to someone you care about and that's the best thing you could do for somebody you love. 

So, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to wondering if he would even be interested in the material you create. He could spend hours listening to another person talk about their creative process and what interests them. Even if his personal interest doesn't correlate with yours, he understands that there is an opportunity to learn from that situation and he will eat up everything you have to say like it's breakfast. 

Since he is the kind of person who has been involved in the creative world for quite some time, it isn't strange for him to interact with somebody who doesn't match the art that they create aesthetically. He is not taking a back by seeing somebody who bright, frilly, or pink, enjoying something macabre. 

He's not surprised by that. More than anything, this is something he's come to expect so he's unbothered by this realization and more than happy just to take you at face value and enjoy everything you have to give. Be prepared to spend hours talking to him about what exactly it is that draws you to this style and be prepared to grill him the same way when he finally reveals what inspires him. 

Though, you should definitely expect him to get some amusement out of the surprise people have when they meet you and see your artwork for the first time. People might assume that he's the one doing it because he just has the energy, but he will be quick to point out that it is his talented partner. 

Saeyoung absolutely would lose his mind the second you tell him that you're someone who enjoys creating daring content that goes right against the grain of what people expect from you. He loves the idea of receiving whiplash from information as long as it's something that won't blow up in his face, and this happens to be one of those things in the best capacity.

This is just the kind of bait and switch he loves to use in the chat room against the others whenever he feels like he needs to lift their Spirits with a prank. He doesn't just do those pranks because he likes to be somebody who's funny, he does them because he likes to keep his friends on their toes and make sure they take care of themselves with a little bit of laughter or a little bit of tears, he is a.... sadist, after all. 

He just likes to make sure that they're getting enough interaction with the rest of the world and get to engage with something that might drive them a little nuts.

So, one of the things he would ask you about your artwork is if you would like to reveal that you are the artist by getting everyone to view your artwork first and let them debate who in the world could have created and cultivated these stories and paintings. I'm sure you've been in a position before where you've made something and people didn't expect it to come from you, so you get a hearty chuckle out of it. There is just something polarizing about somebody cutesy being able to stare at the macabre and not hesitate. 

Jumin loves it, by the way, if that wasn't obvious.

Saeyoung loves your creative passion. It really doesn't matter what you create or what you do, he is always going to be supportive and find the best way to make sure that you know he loves seeing you do what you have to do. Art is something that you have to do and if this is what continues to make you happy, he'll always be your cheerleader. 

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

@kamari2038 thank you so much for asking! here's a rudimentary breakdown, partly because i have projects in mind i don't want to spoil and partly cause i haven't worked out all the details yet

disclaimer : i was not a percy jackson kid, nor a greek mythology kid. so there are a lot of inaccuracies

i first thought of this idea back in 2020-2021. there was some kind of debate team event i saw i saw in high school and the topic of birds came up, and i thought of :

you can ignore the text, it's no longer really relevant to the story nowadays. i was just brainstorming.

a few days later i see a picture of tom hiddleston with blonde hair

and then i abandon the idea for 2 straight years.

2 years later :

(i made a collage for an art swap, also strategically cutting out lore 👀)

in my head this was a story about "cupid" (eros, but he likes this new name) , god of love, and son of aphrodite and ares. he had many siblings ofc, the erotes etc.

i know that the gods are immortal and eternal, but in my story, aphrodite argues with the rest of the gods and she decides she can't be goddess of love anymore. she'll focus on other aspects of her godliness i guess, like beauty, lust, procreation, etc.

but SOMEONE needs to take on the role. Aphrodite accepts to keep her duties until her son is ready to do it by himself. Cupid is doing an internship i guess, or a test run, or is going through a trial period -- however you want to put it. He is trained, being put in charge of a palace and works with his brothers and sisters, in charge of innocent crushes, lust, heartbreak, jealousy, etc.

(important detail, this is probably accurate to actual greek mythology, but the main 12's kids are the first to be born BABIES. they were born adults. so this is their first time seeing and raising children! keep that in mind.)

During this trial run, Cupid makes an enormous mistake. an unforgivable one. he faces the trial of gods and should be sentenced to "death", but aphrodite defends him and his sentence is reduced to "temporary banishment until he learns his lesson". He's on close watch. If he does anything too out of line during banishment, it's over for him. They also rip his heart out for secret reasons.

He's banished to an island, completely on his own, and is tested regularly to see his..."progress"..? This island is floating in the heavens, so imagine the visuals cause i'm bad with environments and can't provide any right now 👁👁

this island is literally all nature/jungle, except for a house/mansion he lives in. and he's sometimes visited by siblings-- which are basically his only social interactions. in his very free time, he designs animals and birds to inhabit his island and keep him company - so the cupid swan and sunset sparrow are his designs! and there are many more animals he wanted to make. he is also very inspired by earth animals, obviously.

also, detail, one of his siblings brought him this broadcast tv kind of thing, so he gets to watch human tv! and even later real human interactions broadcasts!

throughout his story, cupid needs to find a way to get out of his banishment, get his heart back and save humans from his sibling's incompetence, and one particular sister's plans. 👀

i don't draw him, or any characters from his story, as much nowadays, although i know i should -- lately i've been having some doubts about the whole greek/roman mythology thing because it feels overdone with percy jackson, lore olympus, etc. I have ideas about how i'd represent many other characters from greek mythology in cool ways, and i like this story overall, but i'm thinking of making my own mythology/lore system to avoid regurgitating the same clichés over and over again. but i can't even get started with that because everything's already been done !

this is all i have so far, let me know if there's anything else about this story you'd like to know, or your opinions, or if you can help me create some new god mythology god lore 🙏🙏🙏

and let me know if you'd like other posts like this about my other ocs! i have a bunch

thank you again @kamari2038 for giving me the opportunity to spill about this! i've always wanted to share oc content but every time i posted anything on them or about them nobody would even see it. you don't know how happy i was to see your reply.

i'll reblog this post with miis of the cast, that i made on miitomo this past summer :)

[whoahoney]

glassy eyes, hazy afternoons pt. 4

Eddie Munson x anxious!stoner!Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: Reader and Eddie navigate the complexities of interacting with a new crush at school

Content Warnings: 18+, fem!reader, adult content/language, suggestive remarks, recreational/medicinal drug use, smoking and driving (DON’T DO THAT), pining, fluff, angst, mentions of trauma, descriptions of anxiety, intrusive thoughts

A/N: This took too long for me to put together but now I know exactly where to go from here! I hope you guys love Eddie with a shy stoner reader bc it’s my favorite 🫠🤍

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Y/n felt ready to face the day Monday morning, practically beaming after the realization set in that she would get to see her friend, Eddie.

Eddie wasn’t a regular friend, she’s finding. She spent the previous night staring at the ceiling and contemplating how or if she should approach him at school.

‘Should I go tell him good morning before class? Is that too eager?’

‘What if I walk up to him and he pretends to not know me?

No, he wouldn’t do that, he’s too sweet.’

‘I mean, we trauma dumped on each other but what if he’s embarrassed?

‘Maybe I should wait for him to approach me? What if he never says anything? He did say he’d see me on Monday…’

Y/n combatted the negative thoughts whirling around her head the best she could, trying to stay logical in order to keep from getting worked up.

On her walk to school she debated on lighting a joint to take the edge off of the sour stomach ache brewing, but didn’t want to chance showing up to school and drawing more attention to herself with the smell.

Besides, she preferred to smell good especially for Eddie.

As soon as she crossed the threshold of first period, Y/n’s eyes locked with Chrissy’s and the next realization hit that she never called her friend like she promised.

Y/n scrambled to her seat, Chrissy crossed her arms and raised a knowing brow, just to make the shy girl sweat a little, “You’ve got some explaining to do, Missy!“

“I’m so sorry, Chrissy, I ended up having a pretty crazy weekend and it slipped my mind!“

Y/n’s shoulders relaxed at the sound of Chrissy’s carefree laughter. “Well maybe I’ll forgive you if your story’s good enough, tell me everything!” Chrissy propped her arms up on the small stack of books in front of her, leaning closer and resting her chin on her hand.

“So I ended up getting super stoned with Eddie after school on Friday, and I ended up going home and passing out after,”

“Wait, you and Eddie, like, hung out after you made the deal?” She whispered suggestively.

Y/n cheeks warmed up as she fumbled for the right answer. “I mean, yeah—we smoked and talked about music and stuff, you know, typical friendly topics and activities!”

Chrissy rolled her eyes and poorly suppressed a smirk as she waited for Y/n to continue. “Then my brother surprised us by coming home from college for the weekend, then he talked me into going out and we met Robin Buckley, from band? She’s really fun! ” Y/n nodded for emphasis, Chrissy mirroring her thoughtfully, trying to place the name to the face.

“And her friend Steve was so nice, he and my brother.. were fast friends!” Y/n scolded herself for including unnecessary information. Chrissy didn’t catch Y/n’s buffer and lit up at the mention of her old classmate. “Steve Harrington? I love him! He’s such a sweetie and threw the best parties.” She urged.

“They invited us to the Hideout to listen to some bands play, right? Well you’ll never guess who we saw play.” Y/n’s eyes and demeanor brightened as the story started to shift back to Eddie.

Chrissy’s eyes narrowed as she twirled the end of her blonde ponytail in thought. “I have no idea, was it someone famous?” She cocked her head in confusion.

Y/n shook her head with a smile before whispering, “Eddie! His band—“

“Corroded Coffin, holy shit! I completely forgot about them! They’ve been playing since middle school!” Chrissy whispered in excitement.

“Yes! They were really good, too! And then Eddie came over and we all hung out for a while,”

“Y/n! Thats so a date!”

“It wasn’t a date—“

“Bullshit, Y/n,” Chrissy sat up with a knowing gleam in her eye. “Did you hang out alone?” She crossed her arms against her chest again, silently challenging Y/n.

“Well, not at first, but then he asked if he could drive me home, so we—“

“He asked if he could drive you home??” She whispered urgently, an expert gossiper, the ultimate girls’ girl.

“…yes.”

“Then what happened??”

“Well, then we went to the park.” Y/n uttered, her will to share information seizing up. Chrissy’s face scrunched in non-judgmental bewilderment.

“The park?” She scratched behind her ear in thought. “The park.” Y/n confirmed. “Is there a reason you went to the park, or..?” Chrissy asked, still not understanding.

“No, we just ended up there, and then we played on the swings for a while,”

“Did he swing with you?” She asked incredulously.

“Yeah, then he jumped out of the swing and nearly scared me to death, I thought he was gonna break something! And then we went to my house—“

“—You guys hung out at your house at night??” Chrissy couldn’t help but interrupt again, she lived for stories like these, and this was much more interesting than the other encounters her friends droned on about at lunch. This was the good stuff—the romantic spontaneity and pining that existed in only movies, not the stale and repetitive plans everyone chases after and brags about on Monday.

Y/n felt the warmth of her nervous flush ascend her neck, a tight smile adorning her face and managed a nod. “And what did you do there?”

“We just smoked and listened to music…” Y/n whispered slowly to avoid chastisement from the teacher beginning the morning announcements.

“Still cute, I don’t see how you aren’t seeing everything I am! How late did he stay?” She asked passively as she copied the beginning of the hour vocabulary words from the board.

Y/n’s head was once again emptied of thoughts or ways to explain their unprompted sleepover without making it sound so much more than it felt like. “Well, that’s the thing…we kinda fell asleep.”

Chrissy’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head at the revelation, her mouth opening and closing like an alarmed goldfish. Before Chrissy could give her two cents, Y/n continued, “But that doesn't mean it was a date or romantic or that we did anything! Cause we didn’t.” The last part came out sounding more disappointed than she’d meant, the sadness pricked at Chrissy’s ears.

“He didn’t make a move?” Chrissy whispered in disbelief. Y/n shrugged her shoulder and turned back to her notebook as her eyebrows furrowed.

“I mean, I can’t be sure. There were moments I thought he was getting closer but I—“

“Closer how?!” Chrissy whispered louder than intended, which caught the teachers attention, “Ladies! I trust your conversation is stimulating, however, unless it revolves around the current vocabulary, I don’t want to hear about it.”

Chrissy and Y/n flushed and muttered soft ‘sorry’s, tabling the topic for later.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Don’t think we’re done talking about this, you owe me a phone call.” Chrissy muttered to Y/n on their way into the hall. “I’ll call you after dinner, if that’s cool?” Y/n asked as Chrissy eased in the direction of her next class, throwing up an eager thumbs up in response before disappearing amongst the swarm.

On her journey to the other side of the school, she passed the familiar faces she saw every day, most looking through her or not even at her. But she found more friendly faces today, the ones belonging to the friends she’d made Friday.

Y/n never thought of herself as someone that got excited when someone waved at her in the hall; an act so simple she’d never paid attention to it, but when Dustin and Mike passed her in the hall and sent her genuine smiles and friendly greetings, she sent a beaming smile back at them, her cheeks heating up at the flattery.

Then the same feeling happened again when Robin eagerly saved her a seat in art, her heart could’ve leapt straight out of her chest.

‘They like me! Holy shit, they really like me!’ She celebrated. ‘Maybe I am more than bearable.’

“Animals, all of them! Two people tried to take your chair even though I said it was taken, can you believe that? The audacity of humans never ceases to amaze me. Anyway, how was the rest of your weekend?” Robin asked eagerly.

“Not a lot happened after Saturday,” Y/n sighed as she dug through her bag for her sketchbook to work on the ‘Still-life of the Day’

“Sam and I watched those movies! We really liked them.” Y/n nudged Robin’s elbow with her own as Robin's face lit up at the compliment. “Ahh! That’s exactly why I do what I do.” She nodded thoughtfully.

Y/n giggled and continued, “Sam went back to college, but he’s coming back in two weeks! We should hang out again.” Robin nodded vigorously in agreement. “That’d be awesome! Steve can’t stop talking about him, he called me yesterday and couldn’t stop bringing him up! If I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s got a crush—“

“Ahahahaha!” Y/n’s nervous and forced laughter fell from her unexpectedly. Robin quirked a curious eyebrow at her. “I mean, was I picking up the wrong vibe? Or was something like…happening between them?” Robin’s eyes widened with intrigue, her voice lowering in seriousness. Y/n’s vocal chords seemed to seize at the question, only a long, soft squeak emanated from her as she shook her head with eyes wide as saucers.

Robin's eyes narrowed in brief suspicion before shaking whatever thoughts she had from her head, “I could be wrong! But hey, Sam would be a lovely change from the Heidis, Heathers, and Michelles he keeps going through. I keep telling him there’s no shame in exploring! And I know Steve, he may not know it, but he was flirting, like hard core flirting, and not just flirting, but melting! Anything Sam said Steve reacted as if it was the most profound thing, and I mean Sam is funny, funny as hell! But not nearly as funny as Steve thinks he is. Do you know what I mean?”

Y/n’s chest lightened at the manner in which Robin spoke on the topic, but it wasn’t Y/n’s secret to tell, and she wouldn’t ever betray her brother no matter how trustworthy the person could be. She only nodded in response, which was enough of an answer for Robin to know her theory wasn’t so far out of left field as she initially thought.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The rest of the hour consisted of Robin talking and Y/n drawing and listening, something she was good at. Y/n wasn’t great at conversation, unless aided by Mary Jane, of course, but something the adults in her life prided her on was her ability to be a good listener. It was something she learned to enjoy depending on who she was listening to, and Robin was very fun to listen to.

“No, no, no, I’m telling you it was AWFUL, I mean, the mac and cheese was baked like a lasagna but hard as cement. I can’t not burn anything! And don’t get me started on my mother, ‘Robin Christine Buckley, do you not know how to set a timer?’ ‘Robin Christine, get your head out of the clouds!’ I mean, c’mon, woman, you’ve known me long enough to know I’m pretty incapable of keeping my feet on the ground!” Robin huffed exasperatedly as she scribbled in the messy shading of the fruit bowl she chose to replicate.

“Is your mom like that? Constantly on your ass, I mean.” Robin shrugged before glancing down at Y/n’s own work. “Holy shit! That’s so good! How did I not know you were so good at this?” Robin exclaimed, moving swiftly to peer over her shoulder at the sketch of the hanging plant that hung in the corner they faced.

“Oh, uh, thank you! I—I just trace the object with my eyes and my hand follows it on the paper, it isn’t a huge deal, I’ve had a lot of free time to try, too. It’s hard to slow down at first but something just clicked. I’m sure it’ll get easier the more you figure out how it works for you.” Y/n stumbled out, fleeing the praise with urgency. The feeling felt foreign and a little icky.

“Dude, don’t even downplay it, I love this. If you don’t think it’s good art, when Ms.Jacobs grades it, let me have it! I’ll put it up in my room so you don’t have to look at such mediocrity.” Robin said expectantly and tapped the page with her middle and index fingers.

Robin glanced up through the glass of the classroom door to see a dreamy eyed boy staring at the side of Y/n’s head with an adoring smile tugging at his lips. “Uh, I think that’s for you.” Robin nudged Y/n’s knee with her own to get her attention and then nodded softly at the door beside her.

Y/n slowly peeked through her peripheral vision to get a look at the boy that haunted her every thought since she met him. She locked eyes with him as she turned, a smile playing at her lips, though she forced it down to avoid looking eager.

Eddie was now aware he was caught, though he really didn’t care to hide his adoration. He was simply strolling the hallway the long way around to the bathroom during a particularly boring math lecture, when he caught a glimpse of his dream girl in the art room window. He couldn’t catch a view of her drawing but even if he could he probably wouldn’t have noticed it anyway, her heavenly profile capturing his attention.

His eyes traced down her forehead and along the slope of her nose, down the curves of her lips and the round of her delicate chin. The bank of windows on the other side of the room flooded the midday light onto her, placing her golden halo back around her and made the colors of her hair dance when she’d move.

Eddie held up a hand and lightly saluted with his index finger, his smile growing the longer he got to look at her. Y/n waved shyly, biting back her own smile, which Eddie noticed immediately.

‘She’s happy to see me.’

“You totally have to tell me what happened on Saturday after you guys left.” Robin mumbled with wide eyes darting back to the door every once in a while, though Eddie either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Y/n only nodded, her eyes unmoving from Eddie. He motioned for her to ‘come outside’, and before she knew it she was out of her seat asking for a hall pass.

Her heart hammered familiarly in her throat, sweat prickled at her hairline while she geared up to talk to him, even if it was only for five minutes.

She rounded the corner to meet him by the window he spotted her though, and was met with a face full of the scent she was becoming acquainted with as she slammed into his chest. Giggles poured from them both as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head.

They breathed each other in, whispering quiet hellos in the stillness of the deserted hallway. They swayed slightly as she brought her arms tighter around his waist, goosebumps swarming her arms at the gentle strokes on her back. The embrace was over all too soon, Y/n stepping back to lean against the lockers to look at him properly. He rested his shoulder against the lockers lazily, his arms crossed in front of his chest, accentuating his biceps.

“How was your Sunday, sweetheart?” His words met her ears feeling like velvet. “I-It was nice! Slow.” She shrugged, “What about you?” She asked as she struggled to maintain eye contact. She was nervous but she also couldn’t decide where to look because there was so much about him she wanted to look at; the curl pattern of his hair, the shape and straightness of his teeth, the curve of his cheek when the corner of his smile dug into it.

‘He’s so so pretty.’

“Oh, you know, just one of the few times I was ready for the weekend to be over.” He spoke with nonchalance to mask his quiet nervousness, his eyes darting all across her face with intrigue.

Y/n quietly giggled as her face heated up. “I just, uh, wanted to tell you good morning,” He scratched the nape of his neck, the anxiety starting to creep up on him. She smiled and directed her attention to the floor as her throat went prickly. “Good morning, Eddie.” She managed in a whisper.

He’s not the kind of guy to go out of his way to make a girl he has a crush on feel special, not anymore at least; he’s had his hopes stepped on too many times by the girls of Hawkins over the years.

But Y/n somehow accessed this buried part of himself. Eddie dusted off his romantic charm with hesitance and then determination, setting a goal to be whatever Y/n needed him as, and to make a damn good job of it. No matter what, he was going to show her he cared.

He could feel his heart beat in his chest and worried it was visible through his Black Sabbath shirt. “Good morning…” he trailed off, noticing as she fiddled with her necklace and hid her smile behind her hand. “I was, um, also wondering if you’d wanna come sit at my table during lunch, with Hellfire? Bring Robin!” He bit back a smile as he awaited her response, as if she even needed to think about it. The only problem for Y/n was making words come out of her mouth.

‘Spit it out!’

When Eddie’s hopeful demeanor began to falter, Y/n’s words leapt from her throat to make it all better again. “Yes! Absolutely. I’ll, um, ask Robin if she wants to join, but I’ll be there. For sure.” Y/n’s throat tightened up at the thought of the verbal overkill.

‘He gets it, you’re going to sit with him. Any more of that and he’ll think you’re desperate.’

A pang of embarrassment hit her in the chest, her face threatening to screw up in discomfort, though she fought it for Eddie’s sake. “Great! Great, I’ll make sure to save you a couple seats next to me, yeah?” Eddie confirmed as he began retreating down the hall to the bathroom.

Y/n could only smile and nod, the swarm that invaded her stomach now all aflutter. He nodded back to her before tripping over his Reeboks as he tried to turn the corner backwards, not ready to tear his gaze away. His face flushed with heat as her hand flew up to her mouth while he steadied himself and shot her a thumbs up, ‘Like an idiot!’ He scolded himself as he ducked into the bathroom.

Y/n shuffled back to the art room door, not sure if she needed to squeal out of excitement or throw up from embarrassment. She decided on three deep breaths before going back in.

Robin's eyes immediately met Y/n’s as she approached the table, her quivering breath easing as she sat down and let out a quiet and long exhale. “Well? What was that about??” Robin urged quietly. “He asked us to sit with Hellfire at lunch!” Y/n responded almost immediately, Robins face jolted back with shock. “Us? He asked us?”

Y/n nodded. “What were his exact words, though?” Robin scratched her scalp with a pencil in thought, the math not adding up to her. Eddie and her were friends for a while now, but he’d never actually invited her to sit with the Hellfire club at school—not that she minded, she liked to stay clear of the cafeteria if she could.

“He said he wanted to know if I wanted to sit with him at lunch and that I should bring you too.” Y/n shrugged, a content smile resting on her face. “Aha! He didn’t ask us! He asked you!” Robin smiled in victory. Y/n blushed and rolled her eyes, a dismissive shake of her head silencing the rest of Robins teasing she had cooked up. Instead, they settled back into a comfortable silence, the scratching of graphite against copy paper the only noise between them until Robin nudged Y/n’s elbow yet again and the girl stopped focusing on the hanging Ivy to look at her.

“I’ll come if you want me to, you know.” She uttered to her quiet friend. Y/n’s brows raised as if to say ‘Really? You would?’

Robin nodded, catching Y/n’s thought without missing a beat. “I’ll be there.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Y/n clutched her tray of extra crispy chicken nuggets and soggy greens to keep herself from combusting out of nervousness. Her eyes scanned the room for any sign of Robin, hoping to walk over together. Her eyes landed on the Hellfire table, which Robin already occupied a seat at.

She was listening intently to a story Eddie’s friend Gareth was telling, fiddling with her milk carton absentmindedly. Y/n then noticed the empty seat between Robin and Eddie, whose eyes searched the room much like Y/n had been previously. He anxiously nibbled on his cashews, ready to see her again even though it had only been an hour since their hallway rendezvous.

“What’s his deal?” Mike asked Dustin regarding Eddie. Dustin shrugged his shoulders and gave a simple answer about ‘Eddie being Eddie’. Robin spotted Y/n before Eddie was able to and stood to eagerly wave her over. “Y/n/n! Over here!” Her thousand watt smile beamed at her from across the room, her volume catching a few looks from surrounding tables, though Robin didn’t notice.

Y/n felt a tense but genuine smile take over and let out a big exhale on her way over at a determined pace. She kept her eyes on the floor in front of her, terrified at the idea of tripping for all to see. Eddie's shoulders relaxed at the sight of her quiet beauty rushing over to the table, hair whipping so delicately around her he wanted to reach out and run his fingers through it. Her glittering eyes flickered up from the floor to him, her heart delighted in the grin he wore for her.

Eddie pulled out her chair, his eyes never leaving her now that he had her in his vicinity. “Hey, guys.” She sighed contently as she plopped down in her seat. Robin scooted closer to Y/n, as did Eddie, which the Hellfire club took note of.

“Hi,” Eddie said softly, internally willing her eyes to move to his so he could indulge in the crystalline colors of her irises. She obliged him by turning, a matching smile rising at the sight of his own. “Hi.” She echoed just as softly.

‘Yeah, you said that.’

Y/n shook the thought from her head, breaking the spell they both briefly fell under. Eddie cleared his throat and stood behind his chair to introduce the members of the club Y/n didn’t know yet. “These guys also happen to be the rest of Corroded Coffin.” Eddie nodded proudly as the three boys greeted Y/n.

“We’d love to have you ladies sit in on a campaign sometime— if that’s something you’re interested in! You totally don’t have to, if that isn’t your kind of thing, I didn’t even ask if you knew anything about—“

“DnD, right?” Y/n interrupted, Eddie’s eyes widening with pleasant surprise as he took his seat again, taking the opportunity to scoot closer to her without drawing much attention. “You ever play before?” He asked with intrigue.

Y/n shook her head, “I’ve only read about it, not like propaganda or anything, but I did get my hands on a manual one time and read through a few campaigns. It’s been a while though.” She shrugged and pushed her mushy green beans around her plate with her plastic fork.

Eddie was beaming, he could work with that. “Does that mean you’d wanna check out a session? Or am I completely misreading this?” He asked. Y/n softly giggled and nodded, “When and where, Munson.” She shrugged again.

‘That was good, but stop moving your shoulders, you look like an idiot.’

‘Shut up.’

“Thursday after school in the drama room, ‘til about nine-ish.” He replied almost instantly, knocking his knuckles on the table nervously. Y/n and Robin exchanged wide eyed glances before the latter nodded. “We’ll be there.” Y/n nodded in confirmation.

Eddie's heart all but leapt out of his chest, “Do we bring snacks?” Y/n asked, wondering if this is an opportunity to bake something sweet. Before Eddie could respond, the table erupted with agreement and eager nods:

“Newbies actually bring snacks for the session, it’s tradition, really—“

“Uh, yeah! Of course they’re supposed to bring snacks!”

“Totally—by the way I’m allergic to nuts.”

Eddie shook his head incredulously and went to stop the boys from messing with her any further until he spotted her laughing and rolling her eyes playfully, “I definitely don’t believe you guys, but I’ll bring something anyway, I don’t mind.” She shrugged again, his eyes moving to the way it shifted her light jacket that lazily hung off her shoulder, her hair a mesh over the silver glint of the chain she wore around her neck.

How jealous he was of that chain.

His eyes scanned the skin of her exposed shoulder, so soft and so touchable…

“I dunno, what do you think, Ed?” Y/n asked Eddie for his opinion between brownies and cookies, or even some sort of crumble cake, but Eddie had no idea where the conversation arrived since he fell under her spell again.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” He asked quietly, biting his lip. “Desserts! What do you think; cookies, brownies, or a cake for Thursday?”

Something about the question lit Eddie’s heart on fire; maybe it was the fact she wanted to bake for him, or maybe it was hearing her talk about future plans like they’d hung out millions of times before. Whatever it was, Eddie knew he couldn’t wait to try anything she brought. “I’m a cookie guy, myself, but I have a serious sweet tooth. I’ll devour anything you put in front of me.” He said lowly, not meaning for the double entendre to slip, though it was definitely caught by Y/n, whose breath hitched at the phrasing.

“I just might have to bring some options, huh?” She said after a shallow breath. Eddie loved the familiar shyness taking over her that he’s missed since Saturday night. Her cheeks flushed pink at his chuckle. “Here, you don’t need to eat this garbage, you like cashews?” He asked quietly, dragging her tray away and sliding his bag of cashews over.

She happily accepted a couple from the bag, leaning her back against the seat and bringing her leg up to her chest, finally relaxed. His heart swelled at the thought of her being comfortable here with him.

Eddie spent the rest of lunch with his hand propping up his chin and the hand closest to Y/n was left on his knee that was so close to touching hers she thought she might die. He listened to her converse with Robin, making minimum interruptions in order to drink up anything the girl gave out. She mirrored him, having her hand closest to him on her knee, the proximity of their fingers already enough to feel the magnetic pull towards one another.

‘Just one touch, a light graze…’

‘No, weirdo, that’s too much.’ His brain berated him, not knowing Y/n was burdened with the same thoughts circulating her head.

‘I could just reach over and lock pinkies with him, friends who touch do that, right?’

‘Who even says we’re friends that touch?’

‘You slept in the same bed with him, interlocking pinkies is okay!’

She reminded herself. Before she could make her move, the bell sent a grating trill through the room, collective groans sounded throughout the space as the lovebirds jolted away from one another at the alarm.

“Ah, shit, I gotta run, I can’t be late to O’Donnell’s again!” Robin cried as she picked up her bag and raced out of the cafeteria. Eddie chuckled, knowing the feeling all too well.

Gareth, Jeff, and Grant quickly cleared their trays, leaving the two almost completely alone, a few stragglers loitered about. “What do you have next?” Eddie asked as he picked up their bags, slinging his over his shoulder and holding hers by the top down by his side, then reached over for his lunchbox.

“Thanks,” Y/n said reaching for her bag as Eddie simultaneously moved away, their game of chase in the park invading her mind immediately, the butterflies starting their slow eruption. “Eddie, I can carry my bag, you’re gonna make us late!” She giggled lightly, moving for the bag again, only to be met with a clumsy spin move to the door closest to their table. “Sorry, can’t hear you, I’m busy walking to history with both of my backpacks.” He called over his shoulder at the dumbstruck girl sporting an incredulous smile on her lips.

Y/n jogged to catch up to him in the hallway. “You have Ms. Lyon this period?” She asked, sneakily grabbing for the bag straps, but failing to detach it from his grip.

“In fact, I do. You probably haven’t seen me there before because I sneak in the back when I’m late, which is often. Other times I just skip all together because lately I’ve been using my lunch break to hotbox the van, you know? But then I don’t wanna show up smelling like skunk cause then what? The cops show up and drag me outta here with a laundry list of reasons,” he chuckled darkly, “Yeah, I’ll take a tardy or an absence over jail time.” He scoffed quietly, his confidence wavering.

‘Way to make yourself sound like a loser, you dumb fuck.’ His brain echoed.

“No, no, I get it! This morning I really wanted to smoke a jay on the walk over but I didn’t want to smell because—“ she stopped herself when she figured out she wasn’t headed in the same direction he was. “Because… then I’d smell like shit all day and I can’t be that kid.” She joked and tried to ignore the pounding in her chest.

Eddie let out a hearty laugh, “Well, if it makes you feel better you’ve never smelled like weed, and I know for a fact you hotboxed your brother’s bronco before the Hideout. I can smell that shit from, like, a mile away, you know, I’m a hound for the ganja. But, uh, yeah, you never smell like a stoner.” He shook his head at himself as they arrived at the classroom right as the tardy bell rang, taking the last two seats in the back of the room side by side, the bank of windows in the room shining on her like they did in art, and he had the best seat to watch.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Eddie debated the rest of the day on whether or not he should ask Y/n to hang out after school. He craved that alone time they had on Saturday under the stars, or the time they shared in the woods when they met.

But he couldn’t bring himself to a solid decision by the time the final bell rang. He sprung out of his seat and walked to her locker, determined to at least tell her bye. Dustin tried to flag him down on his way past, though Eddie didn’t spare the boy a glance, only a wave over the shoulder and offering a “Can’t talk right now, bud, I’ll catch you later!”

Eddie sped around the corner and weaved through the bodies of his slow moving peers with urgency. He spotted her as soon as he arrived at her hallway, admiring her in her natural state. She exchanged books in her locker, grabbing her worn novel from English and sticking it in her bag, along with her flat and stiff sketchbook, which was a deep orange that made his heart tingle.

Y/n closed her door and spotted Eddie as she turned. Her resting bitch face lit up like a birthday cake with sixteen candles on top at the sight of him making his way to her.

‘Did he come find me or was he just passing through?’

‘Maybe it's a coincidence.’

“Fancy meeting you here.” He said with charm, you wouldn’t think he was internally cringing at himself, but he was.

‘Yeah, no shit, you go to the same school and you literally sought her out, freak.’

“Very fancy, indeed.” She leant against her locker, an attempt at nonchalance. “What are you up to after school?” She asked, ready to hear him talk about anything.

“Oh, just, a little band practice for a few hours at Gareth’s,” Eddie glanced around at the emptying hallway, hoping he wasn’t being a bother or keeping her from anything. “What about you? What do you got going on?”

“At some point I gotta go grocery shopping with my dad, but then after that I’m probably just gonna sit in my room and rot for a bit til the moon comes out.” Her eyes twinkled at the mention of the moon and bit her lip tenderly, remembering the way Eddie looked on the roof under the light of the moon.

Saturday seemed like ages ago, their time in Y/n’s special place felt as if the world was free of other people and it was all left for the two of them. They both ached for time like that again.

“Sounds like a pretty solid plan. I might have to have a look at the moon, myself, tonight.” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets and easing towards the exit nearest to the parking lot. Y/n walked with him, her chest warming at the sentiment.

“Is that so? Do you look at the moon often?” She quipped, asking out of both genuine curiosity and for the sake of banter. “Only here recently.” He smiled, leaning his full weight against the door to open it for her, causing the door to swing open abruptly and slam against the pale brick harder than necessary, though it didn’t faze Eddie, who seemed to have chaos follow wherever he went.

If he was the chaos, Y/n didn’t know, nor did she care. If he was chaos then she was absolutely, a thousand percent into chaos.

She giggled as he strode up to her and snatched her bag from her shoulder, yet again. “Eddie! Why? What are you doing??” She couldn’t help but laugh as he jogged to his van ahead in the mostly clear parking lot. “Gotta get you in my van somehow!” He slowed his strides to a walk and turned around to hold up her bag with an ornery smile fixed on his face, his tongue running over his teeth in anticipation.

“Is this the part where I just say ‘screw the bag’ and run? ‘Cause I’m seeing some red flags here.” She laughed as she came closer to the door he leaned against. “And yet here you are.” He joked, though the timber of his voice was more prominent in his delivery, sending a shiver down the back of Y/n’s neck.

She let out a nervous huff as she smiled down at the ground, pushing a loose piece of gravel around with her shoe. “Here I am.” He smiled as he caught the pink flushing her face.

He opened the driver’s side door and tossed the bags in, leaning over farther to set his lunchbox on top. “Care for a ride home?” Eddie gestured to the open door behind him, inviting her to climb in. Y/n’s face lit up at the offer and nodded eagerly, “That would be really nice, thank you.” She said softly and approached the open door. Eddie held his hand out to help her step in and she accepted it immediately.

The magnetic pull between them was present, inviting the butterflies that had been stewing all day to surge down through their veins and rush to each other despite the barrier of skin separating them from reuniting. Eddie squeezed her hand softly, sending an extra jolt of affection to her heart. As she settled into the passenger seat, her fingers slipped from his, the electricity disconnecting at the loss of touch.

Eddie loved seeing her in his van next to him, and he hoped someday soon he’d be able to reach over and hold her hand the whole ride home— or even in her hair, or cradling her cheek, resting on her shoulder, maybe stroking the nape of her pretty little neck.

The butterflies that previously tingled in his hands quickly shot down south, the sensation reminding Eddie to take some deep breaths and center himself before he had an embarrassing situation on his hands.

Y/n pulled her bag from the floor between them and dug around for her empty cassette case that held a shorter spliff—half tobacco and half herb. She touched the end to the tip of her nose and breathed in the earthy scent. “Care to spark up with me? I don’t have any gas money to offer.” She shrugged.

Eddie swung his door shut and turned to see his angel in his preferred state: one leg folded up against her chest, her basic jacket hanging off one shoulder, her hair careless and free around her, and a toke ready to be taken between her fingers. He felt like she was a gift, though he knew explicitly she didn’t belong to him.

“I’d love nothing more, princess.”

‘That damn nickname again.’ Y/n almost keeled over. No one had ever made her feel like a princess before. Important, yes; her father and brother always made her feel important, but never special like Eddie did.

Y/n suppressed a giggle, already feeling unbearably corny as it is. If her brother could see her today, she wouldn’t be able to live it down.

‘But then again, I could also never let him live Steve down, the giggly fuck.’

Before she could let the inexplicable laughter slip, she stuck the spliff in her mouth and dug around for her still missing orange lighter. The engine purred as Eddie started the ignition, the girl patting herself down repeatedly then searching the pockets of her bag again. “Still can’t find it, huh?” Eddie said with a tsk, reaching into his jacket pocket and retrieving the zippo that’s come to her rescue a few times before.

Eddie could see the flame reflected in her corneas as he flicked it to life, the depth of her irises even more prominent now. Her eyes crinkled at the sides when her mouth formed a small smile around the rolled paper between her lips. She leaned forward to inhale the flame into the toke, his focus unmoving from her mouth.

‘Okay, see, this is exactly what we’re not supposed to be doing!’

Eddie reminded himself, quickly snapping the top closed. The space filled with two generous clouds before she handed it over to Eddie, who plucked it expertly from her grasp and stuck it in his mouth as he shifted gears and pulled out of the parking lot with a lurch.

Y/n loved the way he looked with a smoke hanging out of his mouth while his hands were busy. Eddie blew the smoke out from the corner of his mouth and made a prompt move to crank the window down a little.

“You wanna pick something to listen to?” He asked as he turned to join the flow of traffic. Eddie then handed the joint back over for her to stick in her mouth as she dug around in the glovebox, carding through the newly familiar cases and titles. She secretly hoped she’d come across another unlikely album of his.

Which is kind of what happened.

She took two heavy pulls from the spliff, leaving the rest for Eddie. She filled her lungs ‘til they burned and then exhaled as the dizzying buzz washed over her head. That’s when she saw her girl Joan Jett at the back of the glove box.

“Eddie, my boy, you never cease to surprise me!” She said amusedly, his face flushing at the return of her ease in conversation. He loved it when she let go. He was so wrapped up at the sound of her calling him ‘her boy’, he didn’t even know what she was talking about, so he offered a quiet “Yeah,” and half a shrug, his attention trained on the road ahead.

“Joan Jett? I love her. She’s everything I wish I could be.” She said easily as she ejected his Black Sabbath cassette and started her pick. I Hate Myself for Loving You started, the familiar drum beat leading the intro making her immediately bob her head in time. Before Eddie could ask what she meant, she launched into rockstar mode, using the cassette case as her microphone and imitating Joan.

Eddie found it hard to focus on the last couple of turns to her neighborhood, completely entranced by how free she seemed at this moment.

“Midnight, gettin’ uptight, where are you,” She sang into her make-do mic with wide eyes and her hair shaking around her, Eddie thanked the powers that be that he was pulling into the spot by the curb he occupied the last time he was here, now able to throw it in park and face her while he smoked the rest of the spliff. His eyes turned hungry on her again while watching her perform for him.

Y/n noticed her fathers car wasn’t in the driveway from his day shift today. His schedule had been hectic since he’d been taking any extra shifts they allowed him to, sometimes working the day, others the night, which is why most of the time he took Friday afternoon, evening, and night to catch up on sleep.

But today's Monday, so he should be coming home from work in about a half hour, which elated Y/n that she’d have this time to spend with Eddie to herself.

Her eyes went back to Eddie, who watched her intently. She cranked up the volume and her energy, his smile broadening at her antics. “Hey, Jack, it’s a fact they’re talkin’ in town, I turn my back and now you’re messing around, I’m not gettin’ jealous, don’t like looking like a clown!”

Eddie couldn’t help but join her for the chorus, which made her scream in amusement and excitement. “I think of you every night and day, you took my heart and you took my pride away…”

“I hate myself for loving you! Can’t break free from the things that you do! I wanna walk but I run back to you, that’s why I hate myself for loving you!” They sang to one another, feeling closer to Saturday than they did earlier at school.

Eddie shook his head and took the last drag of the spliff roach before smothering it in the ashtray under the radio. He pulled out his carton of Marlboros, offering one out to her. She happily took it from him as he brought out the zippo again, lighting it for her like the gentleman he was.

“So, like, does your guys’ dad know you smoke?” He asked as she breathed life into the stick. Before responding she tilted her head back and forth in thought, shrugging her shoulders as she exhaled,

“That’s a great question, actually. I honestly can’t tell. We haven’t had an official conversation about it all, which I don’t see coming, ever. But the old man smokes cigarettes, so this is pretty easy to get away with,” she took another drag to collect her thoughts, Eddie flicked his ashes out the window and turned the music down slightly.

“The weed though, I’m not sure if I just do a good enough job hiding it or if he doesn’t notice. Cause I know there’s been many a time we’ve shown up at home smelling like we’ve been ambushed by a gang of skunks. But he always knew where we were going and what was happening at these parties, like, he was the only parent that knew where his kids were. I go back and forth between him not minding and him being disappointed, you know? It isn’t like he hasn’t touched the stuff. But I’m sure it’d scare him ‘cause of my mom.” She stopped and took two deep draws to silence the intrusive thoughts invading her mind after bringing up her mother.

‘Way to ruin it, dumbass. It’s not time for you to talk about your mommy-issues.’ Y/n scrunched her brows at the thought and turned to look out the window. The only sounds filling the space between the two were the muffled engine and the quiet sounds of Joan fading with the end of the song.

A silence took over; Y/n busy berating herself as Eddie searched for the right words to connect with her. Right when Y/n was about to abandon ship and tell Eddie she’d see him tomorrow, he spoke up. “I get that,” he said as she clutched the door handle. Her eyes met his, that earnest gleam evident in his stare.

“That’s exactly how it is for me and Wayne. He didn’t know about the cigarettes for a long time, but by the time he figured it out I was pretty well grown and had my own pocket money to buy them, so he just kinda let it go. But, uh, when he found out about the weed and my… business endeavors… he was pretty worked up.” He nodded, a severe grimace falling over his features.

“What happened?” Y/n asked.

“Word spreads, you know? But, uh, he went to pack some lunch for me—something he hadn’t done in a long time because I told him he didn’t need to anymore, and he found everything.” Eddie ran his hands over his face as he relived the memory.

“He was more scared than anything, I think. Scared that I was going down the same road as my parents. He was like ‘Is this really the way you want your life to go, Tim?’ and that just…killed me.” Eddie shook his head at himself.

Y/n didn’t know who Tim was, but she could only assume it was Eddie’s father. “What was in there? Was it just weed?” She asked. Eddie didn’t look at her and could only shake his head no with tense disappointment in himself.

“Wayne’s my dad’s older brother, they were thick as thieves growing up… until the war then Wayne had to go be a badass in the jungle for a couple years. And I think that really fucked with my dad. That’s when he started dabbling with pot and psychedelics, met my mom, and then finally they decided it was time to take the next step in their relationship and try some crazy addictive shit together… aaand you know the rest of the story.” He waved off the rest of the story dismissively, trying to put up a nonchalant front for armor.

They shared more silence, this one much more comfortable for Y/n; Eddie, not so much. “What did you have? At the time, I mean.” She asked softly, silently wondering how far his adventures with drugs have taken him.

Eddie took a nervous peek at her. “You asking if I sell crack, sweetheart?” A mischievous smile hiding at the corners of his lips. Y/n rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but laugh. As if on cue, her fathers station wagon pulled into the driveway.

“There’s the old man, now.” She said quietly, tapping her finger on the window where her fathers head popped up out of the car. Johnny wore a curious expression on his face in regard to the van on the other side of the yard, but quickly dropped it and headed inside, shuffling his feet tiredly.

“Huh, you’re right, Sam looks just like him.” Eddie nodded, recalling how she described her dad from before. “But I definitely see how you belong to him, too.” He smiled genuinely and met her eye, successfully pulling a smile from her in return.

Y/n pulled her lip between her teeth, never hearing anyone compare her to her father even if it was a remark as simple as that. “Why you always gotta do that, huh?” She laughed as she swung the door open and hopped down to retrieve her bag from the floorboard. “Do what?” He asked incredulously, placing a hand against his chest in faux offense.

Y/n rolled her eyes again, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll see you later, Eddie. Thanks for the ride, my feet really appreciate it.” She joked as she threw her cigarette butt on the ground and squashed it with her red converse. “Y’know, the trailer park’s right over there?” He asked suddenly before she shut the door, her head cocking in confusion.

“Where I live, it isn’t far, like, at all,” Y/n nodded though had no idea where he was trying to go with this, “W-What I’m trying to get at is, I cou—I could give you a ride, to or from! Or both, both makes more sense, obviously, but… ball’s in your court.” He cringed at the basketball reference and his fumbling. He could pass it off on being blazed, right?

Y/n’s smile stretched back across her face and she laughed adorably at his fluster. “I’d really love that, Eddie.” She fidgeted with the straps on her bag and looked back at the ground briefly to stop herself from smiling like a maniac, but she couldn’t help it. The boy did things to her.

“Great! Awesome. It also gives me an excuse to get to school on time, so…my first two teachers will thank you.” He relaxed at her smile, wishing their time together wasn’t coming to an end.

“Does, uh, 7:30 work for you?” She asked, peeking up from her hands to see a blanched Eddie sitting before her, “Th-That’s what time you go to school? Shit, yeah! That works for me.” He nodded in surprise, he’s gonna have to get some batteries for his alarm clock if he’s gonna get up at 7:15 from now on.

“We can leave later! I’m used to walking so it won’t take long for us to get there anyway, really.”

“Nah, no, no, no, the lady says 7:30, 7:30 it will be.” He held up his hands in finality. Y/n pressed her lips into a playfully annoyed line and shook her head at him once more. “You are…”

“A freak?” He asked with a wrinkled nose and teasing tone. Y/n rolled her eyes and scoffed at his self deprecation. “Bye, Eddie.” She said softly before shutting the door firmly and turning around, taking extra care to pay attention to her footing to avoid tripping in front of him.

Eddie watched her walk all the way to her house until she disappeared onto the front porch. He sighed, letting out a prolonged and aggravated grumble and pressing his forehead to the top of the steering wheel.

How can a girl make him so comfortable and nervous and excited and tense all at the same time???

Y/n shared the same thoughts as she closed the door behind her, leaning back onto the pane of glass with a long exhale.

‘That was so great and so stupid, what the fuck.’ She tilted her head back with a thud and a grimace, the embarrassment physically painful.

‘He obviously wants to see you again or he wouldn’t have offered the ride.’

‘He could’ve just offered because he’s nice, not because he wanted to.’ She sighed, her bully hitting her where it hurts.

‘You aren’t anything special, you know.’ Her voice echoed.

Before she could spiral too far, her dad rounded the corner to view his quietly distressed daughter. “You okay, kiddo? Your head hurt or something?” He asked as he slowly approached and set a hand on top of her head tenderly.

Y/n opened her eyes and shook her head assuringly, “No, no, I’m good. Just taking a minute in the quiet, you know?” Her heart’s pace picked up at the thought of the rather loud aroma wafting off her clothes.

Johnny removed the hand from her head and unhooked the keys from their place by the door with the mail and his grocery list written in his small print. He picked up his wire rimmed glasses that were identical to Sam and Y/n’s own— which Y/n refused to wear because of the comments she used to receive in middle school.

‘Sure, when they wear them they look ‘scholarly’ but when I wear them I look like a dweeb.’ She’d thought all those years.

“Who gave you the ride?” Her dad asked as he slipped the eyeglasses onto his face, “Just a friend from school, one from the group Sam and I hung out with Saturday night.” She explained while they walked outside and locked the front door.

“Oh, that Steve fella?” He asked over his shoulder before opening his door to the car. Y/n stifled a laugh, “Uh, no, uh, Steve’s not in high school, he graduated last year— like Sam.” She recovered.

She flipped down into the plush seat of the wagon, her father buckling up and starting the engine. He dialed the radio knob to his personal favorite station that played mostly jam bands like the Grateful Dead.

The prolonged guitar solo of Althea drifted through the speakers quietly at first and then louder as Johnny adjusted the volume. Though Johnny was a quiet guy, he preferred his music loud, much like his daughter.

“Was this friend…friendly?” He asked, eyeing her without suspicion, a hidden curiosity unfolding across his features. Y/n felt the familiar heat creep up her cheeks and avoided eye contact. “Wh-What do you even mean, ‘friendly’?” She dodged.

Johnny rolled his eyes and shifted the car into reverse. “You know, friendlier than the average run of the mill friend? Not be confused with a best friend?” He asked without looking at her this time, hoping she wouldn’t need too much prying to share her thoughts.

Y/n suppressed a smile and looked out the window and gave a shrug. “He’s a good friend. A nice friend… I might join a club at school with him and a few others, by the way.”

Johnny raised an eyebrow and quickly looked over to search her face. He wanted her to talk about the boy on her own terms, even if it made him a little nervous. “A club? Wow… I knew you had it in you, kiddo. What kind of a club?”

Y/n exhaled in relief that he wasn’t going to press her, she leaned back and turned to look at him as he turned back onto the road her and Eddie had just traveled down not long before. “Y-you ever heard of the game dungeons and dragons?”

Johnny smirked, recalling the days of the 70s in the short time he had between his adolescence and fatherhood, some of his friends’ younger siblings had started playing the game, which they all got picked on relentlessly for being geeky. He only nodded his head in response.

“They have a club at school that plays every week, and my friend Robin and I got invited to sit in on a session and see what we think. So I'll be home late on Thursday, if that’s alright with you.”

Johnny purses his lips to give the impression he had to think about it pretty hard, “Depends…” he shrugged, his sarcasm not registering with his daughter just yet. “Oh, uh, on what?” She was taken aback by his hesitance, accustomed to his approval.

“Nothin’, just… is your good, nice friend gonna bring you home?” He looked over at her trying his best to maintain a straight face. Y/n’s flush returned to her face full force this time as she rolled her eyes and hid behind her hands, dramatically throwing her head back against the seat and letting an irritated groan loose. “Oh my god.” She shook her head and let her fingers slide down the front of her face, pulling the skin under her eyes and cheeks with it.

Johnny let out a quiet laugh, his eyes shining and wrinkling at the sides in the way both of his children did. “Just want you to get home safe is all, you want me to pick you up? Come inside and introduce myself?” He asked, his poker face beginning to falter at his daughter’s undoing.

“No no no! That’s fine, Eddie told me he’s gonna pick me up for school tomorrow so I’m sure a ride back from Hellfire wouldn’t be a big deal either.” She ran a nervous hand through her hair, scratching at the roots.

“Oh, so the good, nice friend is called Eddie, huh? And Hellfire? What a name. Sounds like fun, really. I’m, uh, glad you’re getting involved again, Y/n/n. I was worried the move would be too much, you know? But I’m really proud of you.” He nodded at the road. Johnny wasn’t the best with feelings or talks about them, he hadn’t any idea about the few encounters Y/n had with guys from her old town, so her being around a new male friend that made her obviously nervous was new territory for him.

He didn’t want her to feel underprepared, but had faith she would come to him if she needed anything no matter how big or small. Johnny just wished he could express it. Y/n smiled at her lap, the simple words from her father meaning the world. “Thanks, pop.”

Johnny smiled and reached over to pat her shoulder. They arrived at the Big Buy, Y/n following her father and suddenly feeling much smaller than she was by trailing after him like a duckling.

“So, you slay any dragons in this game?”

“Dad, it’s literally called Dungeons and Dragons, what do you think?”

-

-

-

[lordrandreaming]

Unwanted Arcana opinion that might put me in hot water below:

I think the writing is incredibly lackluster, for personalities, interactions, and so on.

I noticed, as I neared the end of Julian's route, the writing lost it's fire. It seemed.. Confused. Like whoever wrote it had no idea where this was all going. You can tell, there was a change in writing.

Lucio, Muriel, and Portia are especially victims of this sudden change, because it just felt like they were given 'filler' personalities and stories. No one is hit harder than Portia. Followed by Muriel.. Followed by Lucio.

Now I like Lucio. But.. He wasn't done justice. You can say, that living the pampered life turned this count whos been in various bloody fights, raised out in the cold harsh winter environment, would make him this squishy, soggy idiot we know.

But.. His characterisation really could have been better. I see him more as 'Sorry not sorry I did that lol' not 'I need everyone to forgive me or im crying' (its not actually like that, but it's pretty close.) And then fucking off for adventure.

In my opinion, which yes, is just an opinion, Lucio should have stayed in Vesuvia and make up for what he's done by lending a helping hand. Yes everyone hates him, as he was written to be the *worst* character..

I think it's unfair what happened to all the routes by the end. Im assuming, If Julain's near-ending was so cobbled together, that Nadia and Asra's routes suffer the same fate.

As a writer, I care about the character's I am writing. I can see clearly that in the end, none of the M6 were cared about. They were made to be appealing and draw people in, because it was "the Thing" at the time.

It makes me incredibly sad, that now I see how cobbled together everything is. Some amount of thought went into the story, but it could have been so much better..

There isn't alot to do, for one. And I know.. 'Its just a game!' However, as a consumer of said media, it's extremely lacking and doesn't stimulate me like I'd hoped. It's like a false promise- but there was no promise to begin with.

When I first seen the Arcana, I was not at all interested. And for good reason.. As advertised was not what we got. I got into it about, two years ago now.

Yes, I was late, but.. The fandom was near death when I came into the scene. Yes yes, I know, people of course are still heavily into it, and I still love it myself but.. It makes me sad.

The character's clearly weren't cared about. They were put out there for visual appearance to lure in lonely gay people. Lesbians, Bi, everyone. They included everyone so they can pull in more people.

Nothing wrong with that- alot of games and industries tend to do this. But they never stick with what they said..

You can say: Mori, why are you bitching about this? It doesn't matter anymore!

Or

If your so unhappy, why don't you just stop caring?

Because.. It started out as a passion, you can see, and quickly as people left, new people kept coming in and that passion was quickly lost.

It saddens me, as an artist and writer. The love was lost.. And the Arcana became hollow anymore. As I played through it a second time, it just felt empty. It was so thrown together- the ingredients just didn't mix.

Id re-write the whole damn game if I could. And like hell I'm going on Dorian.

I appriciate that the people who still love the fandom, want to make and create and that Dorian allows that to happen, but I don't vibe with the fact that anything you post on there is now Dorian's to claim and use.

You can be mad at me, say that I'm wrong because Im dumb and didn't play all the routes, or tell me that I'm just seeing 'face value'. But I'm not changing my opinion because people are mad at me.

This isn't a post meant to rile up or insult anyone. Im not starting a debate. This is just my heartfelt opinion, and that opinion is the state the Arcana was left in was shit. It could have been more interactive, we could have had so much more, but ultimately, we are left with a hollow possibility of what could have been, but never was.