#i really like bread if you couldnt tell

[turnthefrigginfr0gsgay]

Bean!!! Beloved friend!!! Would you like some bread? 🍞🥖

-🍂

bread 👀

i like bread

*steals all the bread*

[dolliestfairy]

і L᥆ᥲ𝖿 hᥱr 𐒖᥆ ოᥙᥴh ּ ᮫ ˵ ִ ۪۫ 🥧 𓋜

Sukuna, & Toji hcs with chubby!fem!reader who is a baker (∩˃o˂∩)♡🧁

Author note 🥧 : this is a continuation from the Yuuji, Megumi, and Nanami hcs part 1 with baker!chubby!fem!reader that you can find in my masterlist in the pinned post.

Warning 🥧 : Blood & Flesh mentioned, cursing word, some tinyy spice in toji part, reader skin color is not announced. & some misspelled word maybe? this is just pure fluff.

Part One ♡ Part Two ♡ Part Three

Enjoy reading my Fairies 🧚🏻‍♀️ ּ ᮫ ˵ ִ ۪۫ ♫

✧ Sukuna

• doesnt want to admit it but he's freaking love you and would kill for you.

• he really really wants to taste the deliciousness of your pastry and bread but his tongue will never work :(

• he just like silently drooling seeing people eating your pastry snd bread while he's just sitting in his throne mind empty only full with "i wanna taste that type of food" even though he know his tongue couldnt handle it.

• he sometimes ask if you could make a pastry or a bread made of curses flesh & blood 💀

• and you would tell him "kuna.. thats not gonna happen."

• big king curse pout :(

• he just gonna be dreaming all day while imagining the taste of your pastry and bread in a way his tongue could accept, that was his biggest dream </3.

✧ Toji

• he think of you as a Wife material.

• you : round, soft, good for breeding, own a bakery and can make a good pastry and bread!? yum yum, diamond rings is on the way!!

• would always bring the topic of what-you-can-do to his other companion, like everytime he's in a conversation, he's always somehow manage to bring you and your bakery bussiness into it. even if the conversaton with naoya zenin.

• but if the conversation turns to be negative, like they mock you or something, you bet your ass this big guy will break their fricking nose for look down and talk down on you.

• "watch your filthy goddamn mouth over my fiancee, you fuckface."

[rathayibacter]

AITA For Messing With My Boyfriend's Hobby?

me (23m) and my boyfriend (26m) just moved in together a few months ago, after being in a relationship for two years. we've had our issues of course, but nothing too serious. last week, however, i forgot our anniversary, and i can tell it really hurt his feelings. i tried talking to him about it, but he said it's fine.

for context, my boyfriend is a ninth-moon swordsman and master of many divine war arts. i dont usually mention this but it's relevant, because for the last three days he's been using his supernatural speed and mastery of the blade to passive-aggressively mess with my things. for example, yesterday i made myself a sandwich, and right before i bit into it he cut the mustard and mayo off the bread in a fraction of an instant, so when i bit down it was completely dry. i know it's him, too, because he was sitting across the room watching tv, and i didnt see him move, but his ancestral sword was in a slightly different position afterwards.

so, this morning i got kinda frustrated, and while he was still asleep i took his sword and i hid it in the laundry room, cuz i knew he wouldn't check there. i figured if he couldnt take out his frustrations by playing millisecond pranks on me, we could sit down and talk about this like adults.

now, something i knew, but wasnt thinking about when i did this, is that he still hasnt formed a spiritual connection with his ancestral sword. this means hes unable to communicate with it across great distances, or summon it to his hand with but a gesture. these are skills you usually learn really early on, and im in fact really proud of him for getting as far as he has without them, but now he thinks im mocking him for this and hes locked himself in the bathroom. ive tried apologizing through the door, but he just started chanting a mantra he learned from his dead older brother.

so, AITA?

[year2000electronics]

OHENSBNDMDNG okokokok let me tell you a story. While thinking back on brozone's flashback at the start of band together, my mind fell on grandma Rosie Puff, and how I've come to be really intrigued in her. How did she end up having to raise all of brozone on her own? Where the hell are their parents? But most importantly, how can we make one of the only other character traits of hers that have not much to do with brozone have some sort of hidden lore to it? I'm talking about the scene where she shows to be very very enthusiastic and serious about rummy, and supposedly other gambling games.

And for a while I've been SUCKIJG AND CHEWING on that crumb of bread. LITERALLY.

What could this mean for the world of trolls? Does gambling exist within singular troll genre clans? Orrrrr is there some sort of clandestine gambling world going on outside of the old troll tree where trolls of all different backgrounds and obscured pasts come together to gamble together? What the hell am I on?

But anyway! That thought never really went anywhere. It just stood in my mind. But I had no idea what to do with it.

And then.... Your trolls Royal Flush au came out of NOWHERE.

I've only just started reading the Google doc and I've gotten past the adaptation of brozone's fallout and, I just gotta say that I really appreciate you giving Rosiepuff a whole lot more autonomy and control over a bad situation. Instead of just staying in one place, where she barely made any huge life decisions that affected Branch (other than sacrificing herself) and having a very vague picture of what kind of person she was, this single paragraph in your Google doc about what she and branch did after brozone disbanded has done A WHOLE TON OF HEAVY LIFTING TO CHARACTERIZE HER THAT I REALLY, REALLY HOLD DEAR.

How she probably became a beam of hope to little baby branch after realizing his brothers are never coming back.

How her bold decision to completely change her and branch's life for a better future, makes her a strong, determined, and confident person.

How... She must've been the ONLY PERSON in Branch's life he could still rely on at that point.

Its just... I've known this lady for a single paragraph but her death just means so much more, and HURTS so much more. Dying in the place she used to thrive in.

SUDDENLY THIS BEAM OF HOPE, THAT WAS THE MAIN SOURCE OF BRANCH'S STRENGTH was taken away from him. So suddenly. So unexpectedly.

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF

Sorry I went on and on about a character who had one paragraph dedicated to her.

But she also got one paragraph

So therefore she's worth talking about.

In trolls one, we're supposed to care about Grandma Rosiepuff's death because of her assumed importance to Branch without really knowing ANYTHING about her.

But in this AU, you just painted such a clear image of her, we knew her for one paragraph but we also realized she's all that Branch had for a good portion of his lonely childhood. So much more than just one scene of her being taken by a berger, than just one paragraph.

Just!!!!!!!!!! I'm happy I'm really happy with what you did with Rosiepuff. Slay in peace, sweetheart.

BUT NOT JUST THAT-

THIS ENTIRE AU'S WORLD BUILDING.... Is really really thorough!!!!! Like!!!!! It's so well done!!!!! I loved the introduction to the world at the start of the Google doc, AND I LOVED HOW YOU INCORPORATED THIS WORLD BUILDING FOR ROSIEPUFF'S BACKSTORY.

AGHJHHHH I NEED TO CONTINUE READING

Thank you if you went this far!!!!! You deserve roses for all the amazing work you have ever put out into this world big or small, I'm excited to see where this goes.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

THANK YOU SO MUCH AAA!! yeah i knew that if i was doing a big casino au i couldnt NOT give grandma rosiepuff some connection to it i mean come ON!! i think thats generally a big overarching theme of how the city of luxgoode takes advantage of vulnerable people and like, taunting them as if risk can make their dreams come true. people will ruin their own lives if they can save the ones they love, even for some of the casino owners (gristle and creek obvi but i think even chaz is a lower rung in this system, it goes up to the 1% mount rageons, especially and mostly v&v's parents)

i also just. love the idea of brozone sharing traits w their grandma. jd may have pulled a lot of the weight but she did raise them too!

[strawbs-screaming]

ranking the boxers abilities to cook, worst to best (Wii)

yeah dont take this seriously im evil

Aran Ryan - my god this man needs to be kept away from the kitchen, he sets everything on fire so much that he forgets what hes cooking and fucks it up

Soda Popinski - He def adds soda to everything, mind you soda probably wont go well with bread, he can make a mean stew though

Bear Hugger - dude, he just eats the ingredients raw and calls it a day, thats okay to some extent with lettuce, tomato,Apples, stuff like that, but get meat and eggs involved and it gets worse, unless hes out in the wilderness with a pot and a very shitty campfire, hes not making anything edible

Bald Bull - He can make some basic meals + some traditional dishes if hes looking at a recipe, its not really the best but its not inedible either, there are some hes really good at

Mr Sandman - He used to be as bad as aran with it, but he actually learned how to get better, especially at baking, he used to be a better cook during his teen years but he got rusty since he didnt practice enough thanks to boxing getting in his way

Disco Kid - He used to work as a cook so he has some remaining knowledge from those days, hes very good with vegetables and fruit, not much other than that though

King Hippo - Hippo island has a huge culture built around cooking, And hes no exception! He has studied cooking for years and still does, he has a soft spot for sweets and usually makes dessert, hes good at other kinds of cooking too

Great Tiger - He learnt cooking at a young age since he wanted to help out his parents and be a bit more responsible, so he practiced cooking a lot and got pretty decent at it

Don Flamenco - actually learnt how to properly cook when he first met carmen, She didnt like how he couldnt even make a proper salad without setting anything on fire so she taught him how to cook better, to this day, they still cook together and Don still somehow manages to fuck up something, still good at it though.

Piston Hondo - He had a love for cooking for a long time and still loves it very much, he always cooked with his mom and thinks of it as a fun way to pass time or prepare for matches (dont ask how it just helps)

Von Kaiser - give this man a grill and he'll cook up a feast without you even needing to finish your sentence, he learnt how to cook to take better care of his health since he had a bunch of health problems related to blood pressure and his doctor recommended him to eat healthier

Super Macho Man - this might be suprising but hes actually a great cook! He didnt bother hiring a cook for him since he thought it would be lame, he takes cooking classes weekly so hes rapidly improving

Glass joe - hes a slut for bread, specifically homemade bread, i think that tells you enough

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @iamburdened - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x gender neutral!reader

After Maeve

- after Maeve’s tragic murder, Spencer isolated himself in his apartment for a while

- in the two weeks he didnt leave his apartment, he was left multiple gift baskets by Penelope, and every member of the team came to visit at least once, only to be met by an unanswered door

- Spencer had gotten used to the knocks at his door followed by the voices of his friends offering their support, he never had the strength to reply verbally, but he appreciated their visits

- one day, though, a knock was followed by a voice he hadnt heard before

“Umm...hello? Is anybody home?”

- Spencer lifted himself from the couch and travelled the great distance for his front door. looking through the peephole, he saw a woman that he didnt recognise, holding a plate with a towel tenting slightly over it

- she looked worried. that was enough to override Spencer’s grief as his FBI instincts took over and he opened the door

- she grinned at him with an expression of intense relief

“O-Oh! Hello! I wasnt expecting you to answer the door, my name is (Y/N).”

“Who are you?”

- Spencer was beyond confused, but when he saw the blush that lit up your face, he wondered if his question seemed harsh or rude

“I-I live just across the hall, I moved in last week and ever since, I’ve seen people come and go from your door- a blonde woman with glasses brings baskets regularly. A-At first, because nobody ever answered the door, I thought maybe whoever lived here passed away and they were leaving things in your memory. B-But they talked to you through the door sometimes, I noticed on my way to and from work. So I thought, well, you must have gone through something terrible and I wouldnt be a very good neighbour if I didnt try to help- I know it isnt my place and Im sorry if Im oversteppi- I made some cookies but u-uh you dont have to tell me anything, I just thought- oh god Im sorry, I’ll just go.”

- your explanation was hurried, panicked and somewhat guilty as you attempted to speed walk back to your apartment

“Wait!”

- Spencer called as loudly as he could manage, you turned to face him, still clutching the towel-covered plate that he now knew to be hiding freshly baked cookies

“You dont know me, we’ve never even...”

- he couldnt bring himself to finish his sentence. never even met, just like her

- tears stung his eyes, his voice left him

- immediately, you noticed the changes in his body language and you scrambled over to him, placing the plate of cookies on the floor among the baskets

“Can I hug you? Is that alright?”

- Spencer nodded and you didnt take another second to think before you pulled him into your arms

- as soon as you embraced him, his tears broke free and rolled down his cheeks

- much to his surprise, the hug didnt feel awkward at all. it was the most comfort he had allowed himself to receive

- he felt more comfortable with someone who didnt know him, didnt know the details of what happened to him. you were someone new, someone who had never known him before he had been in this state; you had no expectations of him, no loyalties or personal care towards him, so he could break in front of you

“Shhh, it’s alright, you’re ok. Take some deep breaths for me.”

- your voice was so soothing to him, the first one he’d really heard ever since that gunshot

- Spencer nodded into your shoulder and pulled away from you slightly, which was your signal to let go of him

- he wiped his tears while you picked up the plate of cookies and gave them to him

“Like I said, you dont have to tell me anything, but these are for you. Im right across the hall if you need me.”

- and you were

- at least once a week, you would knock on Spencer’s door and deliver him a new batch of some homemade baked goods

- cookies, cakes, banana breads, anything!

- sometimes Spencer didnt have the strength to answer the door. on those days, you’d leave the plate of food at his door, run back to your apartment, handwrite a quick note with a pen, then run back to his door to place the note on top of the plate. that way he’d still get a little bit of conversation from you, even if he didnt have the strength to answer

- he couldnt describe the combination of appreciation and guilt

- on the one hand, you were ridiculously sweet to him, unconditionally caring towards someone who was little more than a stranger to you, at a time when he really needed a friend

- on the other hand though, you were working tirelessly all day and then coming home to immediately bake him something more than once a week, he didnt think he deserved that, and the closer you got to him the more in danger you were

- that mentality continued throughout your friendship

- you two naturally drifted closer than friends did, but every time Spencer noticed, he would retract into himself

- he thought he was protecting you, but in reality he was hurting you

- he didnt realise just how much pain he was causing until you confessed your feelings and broke down crying because you thought your obvious feelings for him had been making him uncomfortable

- that’s when he told you about Maeve

- it wasnt easy for him, even after knowing you over sixth months

- he cried, you cried, it was a very emotional moment

- he assured you that he did care about you a lot, more than he would for a friend, but he was just so broken

- you held him until he stopped crying, and then you told him something that changed his whole perspective

“Spencer, it is impossible for history to repeat itself. You can hit me with any statistic you want, but the fact is, no matter how similar an event may be to another, the people involved, the time, the day, the context- it would all be different, and therefore not a repeat at all. What happened to Maeve will not happen to me.”

- he knew you were right, and your words did reassure him, but his heart was still wounded; it was scarred

- somehow, without him having to say anything, you knew exactly what he needed to hear

“I dont want a relationship, not now, and not ever unless you are completely ready. Patience is as easy as breathing when it comes to love, Spence, so I dont mind waiting.”

- and that was that, you two had come to an understanding

- over time, Spencer allowed himself to venture closer to you, emotionally as well as physically

- your presence was comforting enough that once he calmed down, he wasnt afraid of the feelings he had for you

- you explained to him randomly one day that part of you was worried he only thought he had feelings for you because you had helped him heal, in the sense of sexual transference syndrome

- while you were rambling about this and essentially inventing a cop-out for Spencer just in case he didnt actually love you, he placed his hands on your shoulders to stop you walking beside him, and kissed you

- he then took a few steps, acting as though he was casually continuing to walk, while you stood frozen, in a daze

- Spencer gave you a dazzling grin, like the swoon-worthy interest in a cheesy romance movie

- without a word, you reflected his grin back at him, and took the few steps necessary to catch up with him

- the two of you began walking side by side again in silence, avoiding eye contact bashfully

- you gingerly reached out your hand and nudged his ever so gently

- Spencer smiled to himself and interlaced his fingers with yours

- and that was just the beginning

[nandermoenthusiast]

HERE I AM I WATCHED THE FINALE

OKAY FIRST OF ALL IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AND ACKNOWLEDGED/BROUGHT BACK A LOT OF THINGS I HAD NOT VERY HIGH HOPES FOR

but i gotta be honest, the whole season did. it was fun and genuinely hilarious, while also acknowledging (maybe not doing something with it yet, but we have a whole other season already under go) some plot points like colin dreaming about his childhood with lazlo

THIS FINALE THOUGH

i honestly honestly honestly have to say, i would not have changed a single thing from it. it was INSPIRED. i want to talk about the theme of this season, the vampires are assholes and they will never be nice to each other, but they are a FAMILY and they care about each other so deeply

first of all we have the morrigan manor trap, which i enjoyed so much, and although the season did a great job at building up to this with a hundred little moments in the previous eps, i was still literally shook at seeing the vampires face the music. like wow the guide is really telling them off for how they treat her and guillermo. like, i felt it. and nadja and lazlo are like ok this could have been a conversation but fine heres some footage of us being nice about u behind your back, AND THATS SO LOVELY LIKE - MY DEAR WE ARE FUCKED UP CREATURES OF THE NIGHT WELL NEVER TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE THAT YOURE IMPORTANT TO US

and its like. this season does a lot to put all the previous seasons into perspective. i cant even begin to speak about nandor and his aversion to turning guillermo. like, CHRIST

anyway the moment where nandor finds out was SO fucking delicious i love you mr de laurentiis i am completely in love with you going insane going insane also like ive seen some DISAPPOINTMENT over this finale and im ???? speechless is it that they didnt kiss or fuck? NANDOR KNOWS GUILLERMO BETTER THAN HE KNOWS HIMSELF HE KNEW HE COULDNT BEAR KILLING HE KNEW HE WASNT READY AND WANNA BET HE ALSO KEPT HIS DISTANCE ALL THESE YEARS BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT WOULD ADD TO GUILLERMO WANTING TO BE WITH HIM FOREVER BUT HES TOO CODEPENDENT TO LET HIM GO WHAT!!! THIS SHIT IS DELICIOUS

LET THEM COOK

but where was i ah yes nandor finding out nandor staking out panera bread and talking to some rando about guillermo and nandor going to his mothers (vampire killer! so its like dangerous for him lbr) place once he found it within himself to let go of the humiliation and prioritize his feelings for guillermo. let that sink in. he didnt want to find him not really. otherwise he would have threatened his mom weeks ago. nandor actually forgiving guillermo and its just like that. because he loves him too much. nandor doing the gayest most romantically and sexually charged shit in the world to prove to guillermo he actually has forgiven him. nandor bringing guillermo home. and saying he will be living with us AS AN EQUAL

nandor bringing him blood. and while we are on this topic, NANDOR WHO HAS THE IQ OF A RUSSIAN TOILET KNEW RIGHT AWAY WHAT GUILLERMOS PROBLEM WITH HIS TURNING WAS AND HOW TO FIX IT. AND HE DID. IMMEDIATELY. WHILE LAZLO STRUGGLED FOR WEEKS. NANDOR KNEW INSTANTLY. this episode had such biiig caretaker nandor energy and i fucking gobble that shit up. he pays so much attention to guillermo and he is so warm and loving to him whenever hes not catching himself…… i think im gonna go cry

nandor looking at guillermo with barely repressed lust as guillermo shows off his new vampiric powers and is taken by a frenzy to just go and do some shit. nandor lurking in the shadows listening to guillermos confession about not being able to kill, and looking so broken up about it, and wanting to fix things immediately for guillermo (but he cant, and btw im glad they brought back the lamp even if it was just to say you dumbass, you are out of wishes, like maybe that was a disappointment to some people but im sort of glad they made nandor use up all his wishes because the whole ceremony bit was sooooooooooooo thoughtful and soooo warm on nandors part). he went and staged the whole place and orchestrated the whole thing just so guillermo could speak from the heart and say he made a mistake. that is insanely loving of him

and btw idk anything about the lore of vampiric lineage BUT! tbh i do think this is such a cool loophole. like when guillermo reverted, time for his human form had passed. which means if any vampire who has lived, idk, more than 130 years had the same thing happen to them, they would obviously turn to dust. of course they would die! but guillermo had this happen only a few months ago so hes good! and the vampirism is reverted! and he has the time and knowledge now to think long and hard if he still wants it

to be honest (not to be a blorke about nandermo) i do believe that nandor and guillermo will get into it next season and the subsequent conflict will be that guillermo cannot be a vampire so he will age and die one day, but i think since nandor is so caring and “acts of service” in this last episode, maybe the solution they find is they decide nandor will turn guillermo eventually, and then bring him blood without guillermo having to hunt and kill (he could also like rob blood banks or drink from people without draining them)

anyway how cool is it that guillermo turned out to be so similar to louis (interview with the vampire, the very movie that got him to want to be a vampire), with the same conflict, except he did get a do over thanks to nandor ❤️

one last thing before i go that i didnt mention NANDOR TYING GUILLERMOS CAPE SO LOVINGLY AND WITH SUCH ATTENTION WITH SUCH REVERENCE GOD I KNOW WE’RE IN FOR A TREAT NEXT SEASON. AND NANDOR FUCKING STAKING DEREK. DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IT. I DONT KNOW. I DO *STAKE *. LIKE WHAT. THAT WAS SO INSANELY HOT TO ME GOODBYE FOREVER AND SORRY FOR THE LONGASS POST

[wormbloggign]

taylor stop lifting techniques and tactics from others challenge (impossible)

yeah.. you're a cloud of various insects, people arent looking to get in your way

taylor its not innate cmon you need to notice the swarm covering you isnt a comforting prescence for anyone but you

(also, if someone fights grue and wins, his darkness would dissipate. if they fight skitter and win, they have to deal with the many insects who are VERY pissed, and VERY unpredictable. it's simply a more extreme implicit threat than what grue has)

is she.. emulating coils convo tactics?

(TAYLOR STOP LIFTING OTHERS TECHNIQUES AND TACTICS CHALLENGE (IMPOSSIBLE))

to taylor the bugs are just her little guys, doing their best with what they got

to everyone else the bugs are spiders, flies, and wasps; vectors for poison, infection, and pain all organised by their thousands under a single cunning mind

its a very funny bit of dramatic irony (not the right term)

honestly surprised it took her this long to tell that to the PRT, taylors favourite pasttime is outing bad actors in their system

the funniest way to get immediately excecuted, ballsy move taylor

notably in those records she was telling the truth consistently, miss military seems to buy a little too much into armsmustards narratives

BY SUPPLYING RELEVANT CONTEXT TO THE SITUATION, DO YOU THINK STARVING PEOPLE WHO STEAL BREAD DESERVE JAILTIME FOR THEFT?????

(miss minutia seems very dogmatic in her beliefs of justice and criminality, kinda cringe ngl)

skitter im sorry to say but im pretty sure theyve known for a while now

they havent gone after your civillian identity yet because you havent really been findable as taylor herbert and in the rare cases you've gone out as taylor, they've had much bigger fish to fry

oh

that mustve taken a lot miss militia, i can respect that

2 ways to take this, either tattletales doing some mind games with how skitter is perceived or she wanted to get a better look at taylors butt

knowing lisa, probably both

oh yeah that too maybe

the bug pass over she does on people is very funny bc people almost definitely read it as a weapons check or an intimidation tactic but no, she just wants to know what the person she's talking to looks like

her face and eyes were covered in blood no wonder were more tense than normal "ooh why are people so unnerved around me" you look like a monster from a horror movie, you're walking around like you dont even need sight to know everything around you (she couldnt see regardless but they didnt know that)

oh theres no way they don't know her identity now

it takes one person with probably low to medium security access to hear that and go "gee, let me run a check to see if anyone with Skitters brown hair and skin colour (they wouldve seen at least that on the skitter clones, even outside how disfigured they were) matches with anyone who is blind or has been recently blinded" and then bam you find taylor with her school's recorded connection with Sophia/Shadow Stalker, her locker incident (possibly a trigger event?) her absences from school which start a couple days after skitters first appearance, line up with skitters activity AND escalate to 0% attendance once Skitter starts doing things like participating in the Endbringer event and soon after claims territory (a full time occupation seemingly), if you keep digging it seems she has moved out of her dad's house around the same time to an undisclosed house on the edge of town (no actual address given, possibly a misdirection), her father and all of his work friends survived (with minimal injuries) the Shatterbird announcement at the begining of the Slaughterhouse 9's occupation and they stayed alive for its entirety, And as a cherry on top, Taylors last 2 documented interactions with the public is Asssaulting a minor which was handled and doccumented by Shadow Stalker and COILS BOMBING where she was one of the survivors but was BLINDED, shortly after MYSTERIOUSLY DISSAPEARED with no release or transfer papers signed (or if they were, it'd be signed by Lisa W or an unknown third party)

OR

they could just ask dragon

...

that was kind of long sorry

back to the livebloggign!

(insert funny masking joke here)

sometimes i wonder if taylor has a death wish (hint: yes)

i sincerely doubt that. our girls tolerance for abuse is ridiculously high by now

the writer is fucking with me. the day we get a proper breakdown of anyones costume is the day hell freezes over

are we just gonna pretend that isnt deeply disturbing and violating?

eh, alright

taylor may know the kind of thing he saw but its very clear from how he's behaving, whatever he experienced has a lot harsher of a grasp on his psyche, probably because his trigger event and the context around it happened at such a vulnerable and young age

anyway hows that search for a villains therapist going? i really think they should invest in one

TATTLETALE YOURE GOING TO GET THE SECRET ASSASSIN SQUAD AFTER YOU PLEASE

lisa either never fucks around or never stops fucking around and i cant tell anymore

[thenightsystem]

Tws for eating disorder mention, food talk, and diet accounts. Not a vent though, it’s about one of the ways im trying to heal my relationship with food. There is a few things i thought while having our eating disorder thrown in there though

We struggle with an eating disorder, not all of us. One of us who struggles with it is me. Ive been doing really well with recovering from it recently. I followed a diet account recently though, and that made some of our alters worried I was going to relapse. That’s jot why I followed it though.

It’s not a diet account like the ones i used to watch when i was really struggling. And I’m not watching it because I want to lose weight. I watch it to heal my relationship with food, which seems really backwards.

like i said though, it isn’t the same kind of diet blog, yall probably know the ones i mean, where they actively promote eating disorders, or they tell you there are a lot of food that you just cannot have for a dumb reason, or ones that tell you you cant have things like carbs, which you need to survive, or any number of things. It isnt like that at all.

In fact, he actively calls those people out on spreading harmful information. Thats one of the main things he does that helps my relationship with food. Because he calls out all of the misinformation on food and dieting that has been engraved in my head for years.

He also teaches about good diet foods, but theyre framed in such a way that is doesnt trigger my issues at all. Because for him, hes making videos of food he likes. Not in the way someone with an eating disorder convinced themselves some foods are good, but foods he actually likes. Sure theyre high in protein, because protein is one of the best things for weight loss (which i didnt even fucking know while we were in the worst part of our eating disorder), but he also always adds a carb. Every time, some kind of rice, or bread, or any kind of carb. I couldnt eat carbs and be skinny. And he will also add vegetables, and fruits, and things like that high in fat or sugar. Because you can still enjoy food and diet.

I don’t watch it because I want to diet though. I feel like if we tried that it would wreck everything ive tried so hard to fix about our eating disorder. But watching someone not only calling out unhealthy “diet” practices, but also showing healthy diet tips, and still enjoying food? That’s helping me a lot.

Idk why i shared this tbh, just kinda felt like talking about it

-host

[prestonmonterey]

hmm... if you were a type of bread which type would you be?

ummm idk

i guess like whole wheat bc im like the boring, worse version of white bread

(i actually really like whole wheat its pretty much the only sandwich bread ill eat. if you couldnt tell by the fact that i eat it almost every day at lunch /silly)

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober Day 3:

"Like crying out in empty rooms, with no one there except the moon." 

Journal | solitary confinement | "make it stop."

Fandom: Voltron

Prompt used: All

Soooo this ones a little intense- at least to me as I write this. Its never specified but Lance is alone for awhile, so tread carefully just in case. I think I may do a continuation on one of the other days for this one so keep a look out if you like this one.

TW for self harm, and Torture

...

There was little light in the room. He'd tried to figure out where it was coming from, scratched at the lips in the walls until his nails were broken and bleeding. He'd decided they simply glowed. 

There was no window, and the door disapeared- no it blended in, it had to be there still it had to, it could just be gone that made no sense- after that first day. That first day when he'd woken up, confused and in pain, and had a strange alien come in and speak to him. He couldnt tell you everything they said, broken translator glitching every couple words or other sentence. But it was an experiment, and a punishment. 

Lance wanted to go home.

"Journal entry uh… whatever. The water and bread like stuff appeared when I passed out again, I dont remember falling asleep… It tastes weird, but they got angry when I didnt consume it before… the walls are still glowing… or maybe it is dark and Im going crazy… how many days has it been journal? Why… what did I… its not like your gonna answer anyway…" 

His head hits the wall with a solid thump, the sound better than when all he can hear is bodily functions, so he does it again. And again, until his ears ring and his head aches, and the noise has blended in too much to be different and he stops. His heart and head beat to the same toon, he holds his breath to stop hearing the inflation of his lungs only for the beating to get louder. Frustrated tears come to his eyes as he releases the breath in a shout, which turns into an angry yell as he turns and pounds his tender fists into the wall.

Its not the first time, there are smears of blood- old and new- from his many little moments. He thinks hes allowed such moments after all, locked up for who knows how long with no interaction. He cant even talk to Blue, the thin connection in his soul the only thing telling him shes okay. In the beginning, he equated his moments to Keith, when he went ham on the training gladiatiors. But now… staring at his ruined fists, and wall still intact besides the smears, he feels as pathetic as ever. 

He knows for a fact the rest of the team would have found a way out by now. Pidge's curiousity and spite always leads her to solutions of some kind. Hunk would have found out how this box worked and rebuilt it ten times over. Keith would have samuraied his way out of course, and Shiro would probably find this childs play. But really the main difference… is they arent him. Lance did something wrong. Lance was stupid and weak and easily caught. Lance hasnt been able to find a way out. Lance- is referring to himself in third person. Again. 

He deserves to be here. The team hasnt found him yet, blue is out of range, and Lance is being punished for something. He wouldnt want any of them in his situation anyway, theyre probably off saving the universe still, probably relieved hes gone. He… he hopes theyre getting enough sleep. That Pidge isnt stuck with her face in a screen, refusing to sleep. That Hunk isnt spreading himself thin, and bottling things up. That Allura is recharging her quintessence, and taking care of herself and not pushing too hard on her own mind and the teams. That Coran isnt lonely and doing everything by himself. That Shiro is remembering to laugh and relax and chill. That Keith isnt isolating himself and training to death and… 

He misses them.

Lance thought that… even if he never saw Earth again, never saw his parents again, thatd at least, the last thing he saw would be his friends- his space family- safe and alive. Not some creepy alien, or the four same walls, but the people he cares about. He knows… he knows he wasnt their first choice. That Blue deserves better, the team deserves better. But… he still loves them so much. He just wanted to know they were okay. 

A stinging sensation disrupts the static ache hes fallen into, his motions drag like paper through water and he looks down at his arms. His nails, brittle and broken and cracked, have still managed to drag angry red lines across his arms. Blood and that watery fluid have bubbled to the surface in some areas, and he feels a detached sort of dissapointment. His nose whistles.

The not bread and the ucky water have appeared again. Hes on his side, he doesnt remember falling asleep, from how tired he feels, hes not even sure he can call it that. He knows they get mad when he ignores the susstenance, but he can only stare at it blankly. What was the point anyway? If he was just gonna keep waking up here, he didnt want to anymore. 

He thinks he counts for moment, to determine how long it takes them to get mad, but when he tunes back in to his own brain hes simply repeated the same line of lyrics over and over. He cant recall the song, or any other lyrics, and all its really doing is annoying him, but he cant find the energy to yell at his brain to stop. 

'One. I can count to one. Two. I can count to two. Three. I can count to three. Four. I cant count no more. I can only count to four, I can only count to four, I can only count fooouuuurrrr-'

The room brightens and Lance tenses as a noise fills the room. But the noise was always there, a ringing in his ears, but it grows louder and higher until everything is screaming. He hold his hands over his ears, finds a warm wetness with undertones of crusty, his mouth is open his throat feels shredded, hes curled up as much as his ribs will allow- they poke out, he can see where theyre wrong, they warp as the noise increases. His heart pounds wildly in his chest, tears streak his face, he cant see anything, theres red in his blurred vision before it whites out completely, a warmth below his nose. Shivers wrack his tense body as the cold he'd been trying to ignore sets in bone deep.

"P'ease…m…m-make it… st…stop…" 

He doesnt know when he went limp, eyes open but seeing nothing, the ringing is everywhere, the feeling of liquid drying on his skin makes him itch, but he cant even twitch. 

"M'ke it st…stop. Make eh stop… make it stop." A sob from deep in his chest, voice hoarse, everything hurts. "Make it stop please." 

He couldnt even tell you if he'd actually spoken, or if wordless noise escaped a ruined throat. The pounding of his heart, the ringing of his ears, nothing seemed to exist past that. 

Warmth on his cheek, he must be crying again… 

Pressure on his back, his shoulder thanks him for rolling over, he cant recall doing it.

Something touches his neck. 

He flinches violently, surprising himself and whoevers touching him. He throws his arms up, his back now against the stupidly familiar walls.

"Make it stop! I dont want to anymore! Just kill me already, Make it stopmakeitstopmaKEITSTOP!!"

Something rumbles in his mind, loud enough to block all the stupid noises, filled instead with crashing waves and warm sand, foreign yet familair. 

"Lance." He flinches, he can only half hear what was said, head in a fishbowl of water and one ear clogged, but it was definetly his name… 

"Leandro, please look at me hermano." 

Tears bubble in his eyes as he realizes what this is.

Hes lost it completely.

Hes halucinating now. Maybe it really is finally the end-

"Lance please." It sounds so broken, she should never sound like that-

He looks up. 

The door. It did exist, lying in sparking pieces as it is. Shiro is in the doorway, face drawn in concern, galra arm still smoking from whatever he used it for. Behind him Keith is glaring down his sword at something Lance cant see. Infront of him however, curled up in the too small room, knees an inch from his own, back bowed so his head wont hit the ceiling, arm brushing the smaller one next to him. Two sets of warm eyes, wet with tears and dark with bags, look at him with mournful sadness and yet, tentative hope, relief. 

The tears spill over, his lips wobble as he sobs,

"Make it stop please. I cant handle it if youre not really here. Please." 

"We're here buddy. Hermano, we're here. Give me your hand Lance, I promise we're real." Hunks voice wavers with emotion, Lance knows he's seconds from breaking down. 

"We're late, but we're here Lance. Please." Pidges voice is small, hand held out beside Hunks, both tremble. 

Lance is going to regret it. He is. He's gonna regret it. 

His hands- cold, achey, maybe broken, filthy- meet the warm calloused palms of his friends. He slumps forward like his string have been cut, but the two dutifully catch him. Warmth. Not from blood or tears, but from real people. Lances eyes slipped closed, feeling safe for a moment, if he wakes up alone… at least he got to see their faces one last time…

>>next

[wawamouse]

Drunkposting here I go

here's the thing: I reread Beneath the Shadows or whatever the fuck I title that fic, and: It's sorely missing come cuddling. I thought it was fluff at the time because I have the EQ of a piece of bread but I see in retrospect that the Something Deranged universe was badly missing some actual tenderness. Maybe I will write some more later but in my mind they're very much in love in that series, no quesiton

I have been missing Oz a lot in past weeks that I have been having to work on other fanfics. Even tho I know like nobody gives a shit abut this pair or the fics (AH), I still miss the feeling of thinking on it every day. Sure beats thinking about work or whatever (fail life). To be honest, I have a scraps notes app thing of Chico andMiguel moments that is much more self indulgent (lol more so than my fic, even). In those i'ts like very like reciprocated and shit. Idk . To go off the canon characterisations, it would feel OOC to me, because I don't think there is a single character in Oz that is Actually 'nice". There're all assholes to be honest. So trying to imagine them as anything else feels disingenuous in some ways. Like I think they're humanistic but I think there is a danger of writing them as too nice, which would be false. i don't think they are nice people. I think miguel seems nice by comparison of the others in the show but if you plopped him amongst non-oz people, he would have a very uncomfortable and even threatening vibe. idk where i'm going with that thought.

Imagine for a second that this was a big fandom that created portmanteaus. what would miguelxchico be? mico? (laugh). chiguel?

I really like Oz but idk how long i see myself writing fic for it. this is a very give everything/get nothing type fandom (no offense); i feel like this is obvious either way). my own personality is such that i find it somewhat difficult to go on when there is no one matching my enthusiasm. like what's the point. oh, we do it for "for you", but get real, why should I write when nobody is read it lol. bu ru don;t post it or whatever the fuck! but i do like that this fandom has been around for so long, like there's still people doing events 20 years later. i think that's lovely. I am just worried my own focus will wane eventually. maybe i'll come back to it. this latest hyperfixation was after i reread some fics i had saved to my google drive. it's kind of funny to me that i'm probably never going to to write a miguelx ryan . i really like how other people wrote them (there is one with a diamond heist that is probably my fave) but i read all those before finishign the actual show and ryan is a shitbag i would dare not inflict upon miguel. i think someone should be inflicted upon ryan, tbh, say stanislofsky or whoever, idk. he's just some pathetic white guy to me. idgaf in canon. i'd beat him with a blunt object tbh. force feed him Respect women juice like leave gloria ALONE.... fanon makes him more sympathetic, I guess. LOL. he's on a thin wire with me, frankly. I don't have much sympathy for his life ruining tactics. I wish someone wrote a miguel x ryan fic where he ruined miguel's life too because that would SUCK but it would be in character for both of them (and i love angst). couldnt be me tho! I just don’t seem them as being very happily ever after tbh . There was a fic that some giy wrote (I think it’s funny that you could tell it was written by another guy idk) “interim” something idk whatever the fuck . I liked that it ended with Miguel sort of just riding off on his own. I feel like that felt right…. I remember other comments being very like bu fu about it but I think it worked /made sense . I realllt like that fic

inflicting chico on miguel conversely is amusing to me bc chico is down so bad and is at best a moderate annoyance ( aside from the attempted murder

i should write a mcd fic. i keep thinking this to myslef. i I did it for ding rong and cried like a baby while i was cooking dinner at the mere thouguht but it was kind of cathartic too. crying over fictional characters is always funny to me. i should kill chico and leave miguel alone alone.

i was originally looking for hte chico's so hot post but i couldn't find it. but i was real for that one. i need to start a tag for drunkposting probably

mukada x cloutier i still think about it

Cloutirrx Timmy Kirk also not bad

[pisces448]

long dream post

another really strange and way too lucid dream when I took a nap just now. EARLY in the dream, mom had used my yeast to make some bread but she did it soooo wrong but she was like made a million loaves of bread but with a lot of dough left over? and she was like dont touch anything in there!!! I was upset becasue I was planning on making a special loaf with it for the celebration this weekend. so i was like. then my sisters showed up and they were like “dude i’m pissed. its only 2 and all the adults are already drunk and i want to go home” so i was like talking to them and comforting them. One of them started popping a bottle of champagne and I was like are you crazy, thats what made you so upset the first time and no im not going to drink that. but then I felt bad for shooting her down so I had a glass.

Throughout the dream I had the feeling like I was in class and I had an assignment due (I fell asleep in the middle of doing homework). but I was in some highly collegiate professors house and I felt like i was being tested or a part of some sort of trial. the thing that made me think it was a test being put on by someone was because there was a guy who was older and i felt like he was one of my teachers, and he was asking me so many nonsensical and irrelevant questions it felt SO WEIRD like an interview for a job with some kind of strange backstory I didnt know about and he had this girl like a young sharp professional girl following him around and being one step ahead of him on everything. then something weird happened where he opened up this staircase that came down from the ceiling and was a lot like a climbing thing at a kids park like made of ropes. the girl followed him up there and then fell through it and landed on her face on the floor. so then i went to her and was like “are you okay? that was inappropriate and dangerous im sorry you had to go through that” and she left. then another girl came in with her family and they spoke another language or at least were from a foreign country and she seemed to replace the first girl and she was upset over something going on with her family so i was talking to her and comforting her.

then when she left a group of like 4 kids from a nonverbal tribal foreign place were there amongst a bunch of other kids. and they were confusing me and trying to ask me things and i was trying to be gentle with them but they were kinda crazy. and all the kids were fighting and blaming each other for stuff and i was trying to calm everyone down. while this was happening I got a text from a guy i used to know saying "hey when can we squeeze in a time to play one last game together" and before I got a chance to text back he was like "oh nevermind. I can see that youre going through something" or something along those lines.

back to the kids, I couldnt figure out how to comfort all of them at the same time, i ended up spraying everyone with a hose and being like OKAY. NOW EVERYONES WET. WHAT SHOULD WE DO. so i made sure that everyone had a towel and then i was like ok everyone. take your towel and dry up you face and hair really fast and crazy! and now stand up and dry off your body! great job!

this is the crazy part i just remembered. there were two adult disabled dudes living next door across a fence, cause all this was taking place in the professors back yard. and i was like do you guys know what's going on? and they were like yeah, hes always doing stuff like this. and i was like asking them more about it and one of them who had a really messed up face was like “do you want the embarrassing truth or what he usually tells people” AND THEN I WOKE UP

[fluffansmut-old]

Christmas eve and Christmas day

12 Fics of Christmas - masterlist

Summary: You spend christmas at the munsons.

Content warnings: cosy festive fluff.

Word count: 1230

A/N: This fic is makes the most sense if you´ve red at least part 1, 3 and 10 of this series but you can of course read it as a stand alone. 

Big huge thanks to anyone that has read and liked anything of this, I appreciate you all so much its insane. 

fic is also posted on Ao3

You smelt the mulled wine before you got inside.

The trailer felt festive in a totally new way, it felt so warm, so welcome and so calm. 

Eddie and Wayne had some small nibbles and cookies displayed on the kitchen counter, and inside the oven there were a chicken and leek pie baking, courtesy of Claudia Henderson, who made enough pies for a small army and then distributed them among friends and family. 

Wayne was incharge of the music and a frank sinatra christmas album was softly playing in the background. 

“This is beautiful” you said to Eddie as he brought you into his open arms. 

“you are” he responded, “Garlic bread?” he asked, holding up a slice. 

“I mean when you offer” you said and opened your mouth. 

When you, Eddie and Wayne was stuffed to the brim with both snacks and pie you sat down on the couch and you turned to Eddie quite quickly, now to excited to wait. 

“So when are you going to tell the new part of the christmas story?” you asked your boyfriend.

Ever since Wayne told you about it and showed you the notebook, you had made eddie read parts here and there to you whilst at his place, to not make Wayne sit trough the entire thing on christmas eve.

“Do you guys want to hear it now? Or should we put on a film?” Eddie asked, smirking slightly cause he knew what you would say. 

“No!” You said, grabbing his hand.”Tell it now.”

Wayne charmed in. 

“Tell it son, it aint christmas till you do”

Eddie smiled. 

“Mkay then, get comfortable. “ he said. 

When you had he began, you noticed how his tone dropped, falling into one that was laced with mystery. 

“When we left our heroes last christmas, they had just gotten out of the deadly trap that they were fooled into during their dreamhaze, and now they found themselves in a forest they’ve never seen before. Snow covered the ground in every direction that they looked, and the oak door that they just passed through was suddenly gone. “ 

You felt your insides grow warm as you watched Eddie tell his story, He was so into it, so echanted in the story that he created out of thin air. His imagination and passion for storytelling made you love him even more than you had before. 

“When they had wondered round the interminable forrest for what felt like an eternity, they suddenly heard something coming from above, something so gorgeous that they couldn’t really believe their eyes.” Eddie said, pausing for dramatic effect, whilst also smirking deviously at you. “a fairy.” 

Eddie proceeded to describe the fairy and it didn´t take long for you to realise that the fairy’s features all matched yours, on the dot every time. Still you couldnt really believe it, Did he really write you into his story? 

When he finished, it stopped on a happy note, an open end with potential for a continuation next christmas. You dried the tears that had erupted when the fairy used her magic to light a path in the snow giving the heroes the hope they needed.

“Son, I dunno how you do it, but you’ve done it again,” Wayne said as he rose from the sofa, giving Eddie an affectionate shoulder squeeze as he walked past him. 

“So what did you think?” Eddie asked taking a seat beside you on the sofa. 

“I loved it Eds, “ you said, leaning against him. ”was that fairy inspired by someone special?” 

“Might be so” Eddie said and kissed your temple. “Inspired by the source of light and hope in my life” 

“I love you” you said, climbing into his lap, straddling him.

“I love you too” Eddie replied and softly put a hand under your chin bringing your face to his, kissing you deeply.

It felt like that kiss lasted forever, and you only broke it when you heard Wayne clear his throat.

“You guys want dessert or are you content with eating each other?” 

After you two had gone to bed you waited for Eddie to fall asleep.

There were two stockings hung on the door to his bedroom, one for him and one for you, and you desperately wanted to be the one to put presents in his.

You listened to him breathe behind you, face in your neck, and when you heard his breathing even out you snuck as carefully as you could out of bed to go grab the present you had in mind for under the tree.

 You grabbed it carefully to not wake Wayne and tiptoed back, only to be met by Eddie at the door stuffing a present down your stocking. 

“I thought you went to the bathroom?” Eddie whispered when he saw you.

“I thought you were asleep?” You whispered back. Then you both paused and looked at each other laughing.

You looked at the clock. It was 02.31 a.m.

“I mean it’s officially Christmas Day anyways” you said as you handed Eddie the present not bothering to stuff it down his stocking.

Eddie took the present and then dug up the gift for you. 

“Merry Christmas my love” he said and grabbed your hand, pulling you into the room to open the presents.

Eddie read the note on his present and looked up at you with raised eyebrows and a cheeky grin.

“Unwrap me in private?” He asked, “should I be scared or excited?”

“Well hopefully excited, Cmon now, unwrap!” You said, urging him to unwrap the gift.

He unwrapped the boudoir photos of you and the gasp he let out was incredible.

“Baby” he said after looking at them. “These put my tiny Polaroid collection to such shame, they’re gorgeous”

“You really think so?” You asked.

“Sweetheart I wanna frame these, put them on the wall so I can look at them all day.”

You laughed at his outburst.

“You cannot frame and hang pictures of me barely clothed in a house that you share with your uncle” you said.

“Then we better work on getting a place of our own” he said, then he leaned towards you and pressed a kiss to your lips.

“I love them, thank you. Now open yours” 

You smiled at him and murmured an “you’re welcome” before opening up the small gift.

Inside were a ring. A ring that had an E on the front.

“Wow” you said, putting it on. “I assume E stands for Eddie right?” 

“You are correct and I am aware that it is insanely cheesy.” Eddie said. “Now there’s a reason behind the present sweetheart.”

“And that is?” You said, admiring the ring.

“Well baby, I’ve noticed that when your anxious you fiddle with my rings a lot, and its not that I want that to stop, it’s just that I want you to have something to fiddle with when im not around.” 

You teared up at the consideration behind the gift that you now had on your finger.

“Eddie, I love you, so incredibly much.” 

“I love you too baby” 

You kissed him and then you let out a yawn. 

“Should we go to bed?” he asked. 

“Please”  you replied. 

That christmas night, you fell asleep in the arms of a man that loved you so much and that you loved just as much.

[ohpossuhm]

even the replies to a jellyfish post can be rage bait if youre a me and filled with rage all the time/lh

(very rambly btw)

if something is 95%water you process the water as water, the 5% thats protein is protein, aside from the water in a jellies body, its literally like, 99.99% protein.

watermelon is 92%water

and people just hating on it as a food rubs me the wrong way in general, given its significance in several asian countries. no one is eating only jellyfish for the rest of their life unless youre a sea turtle in which case even you will eat a few plastic bags as well.

even if its just a fun texture snack and they did have 0 nutritional value who gives a single fuck, you shouldnt demand no one eat it or try to discredit it as a food at all- and also also no ones forcing you to try it, if its not your thing thats fine, typically the species being eaten (probably not 100% i wouldnt know, im not claiming to be some expert im just a guy who reads articles and a book sometimes) arent endangered. and if whatever species theyre talking about is endangered then its a entirely seperate conversation needing to be had not the nutritional value or culinary value

so many of the responses just felt very ethnocentric, unwilling to look at these several cultures thatve been doing it for hundreds or thousands of years completely writing it off

theres so many different ways to eat jellyfish too, saw one person saying “put that in the oven itll just evaporate” well if you dont want that dont put it in the damn oven! i dunno jellyfish crisps sounds pretty fun tho- ive mostly seen/heard of it in stir fry or noodle or raw so idk what theyre on about.

like i get it, people dont like new things anf thats so incredibly fine, its just a problemmm when you try to recruit people to your opinion as morally or in this case i guess nutritionally superior? it was phrasd a little poorly so i would consider it a little moral too tbh- but instead try this “oh i dont like that but you might” or “im not interesting in trying that but i wont be making anyone feel like they shouldnt try it” personally i dont wanna eat bugs for the texture, but fuck id try it once, especially if the texture issue was removed via turning it into a burger or cricket flour and into bread

i would fuck up a cricket burger tbh i love burgers

read some thing a whiiile ago about mixing cricket and beef to make burgers and the tasters couldnt tell the difference until it was 20%beef 80%cricket- thats probably a way over simplification of whatever they actually tried- i also think it was not a scientific study just some people making burgers

bugs are more efficient protein in terms of production- ie i give yiu 10lbs of corn u give me 8 lbs of cricket OR just 1 lbs of cow

if we wanna talk about overlooked sources of protein,,, fucking;

bugs are where its at dude

but jellyfish are good too! everyone’s food doesnt have to look the same and id argue it really really shouldnt

i love burgers i would kill 1,000,000 crickets for a burger

[fratboykate]

well it’s kind of a funny story actually! we were in france for a competition (naturally), the competition was in a city but we decided to stay about 35 minutes away in the countryside in the village i’m from! free accommodation. i’d been thinking about proposing for a really long time, i knew i was going to marry her pretty much as soon as we started dating tbh, but i was really in my head about it because i wanted it to be perfect because she deserves it! one of the days we were in the city for comp day and i was running late so she had to leave without me but she sent the teammates who weren’t shooting that day to pick me up so i didn’t have to worry about being in hurry and driving around all the roundabouts (rural france has a lot of roundabouts, i hate them/they make me nervous). so we parked the car and we were walking down this street to the venue and i turned my head by complete chance and i saw the perfect ring in the window of this jewellery store. it was perfect, but we were running late so i asked if one of the other girls would come with me to buy it the next day. so the next day i tell agf that i’m going into the city to get our morning bread instead of walking to the bakery down the street, but really i was going with the team to buy the ring. the whole team turned up, including her coach AND her physio. they all wanted to see the ring, to make sure i was doing right by her etc. the ring is perfect: 24k white gold band, solitaire cut ethically sourced 1.5ct diamond, it cost more than the down payment on our house lol but if they hand asked me to cut off my arm with a wooden spoon right then and there i would have. i had originally planned to propose when we got back home, at the park where i first told her i loved her and i knew in my bones i was going to marry her - something really low-key. i forgot my bag so i had to put the ring in its box in my coat pocket and we went about our day and tbh i kind of forgot about it. it was bastille day - i think that’s what you call it in the US anyway - so we were at the small village festival, then later at my family’s house and it was nice because my sister who was abroad at the time had managed to make it home while i was in the city in the morning. it’s on a hill and we were looking down at the fireworks in the village below and i could hear the music and feel the celebrations of my family in the background and i looked over at her and i just remember thinking that i’ve never felt this safe and happy, and if the world ended that second i wouldn’t care because she was there. and i just realised i couldn’t wait any longer. i couldn’t wait for her to be my wife. so i put down my drink and i let go of her hand and turned around to get the ring out of my pocket and when i turned back, opened ring box in hand she was just opening the ring box with my ring in it. we laughed and cried and proposed and said yes (obviously). it turns out that she specifically flew my sister out to go buy the ring with her, because she saw the perfect ring on our first day there and she wanted to buy it that day, and she wanted my sister to be there. so she bought her a plane ticket and when they went into the city that afternoon they were actually buying the ring. from the same jewellery store. on the same day. there are like 3 other jewellery stores on the same street. and then we got married a month later! -agf

WHAT KIND OF GAYASS FAIRYTALE ARE YOU HOMOS LIVING IN AND HOW DO I SIGN UP FOR WEEKLY EPISODES BECAUSE I WANT ALL OF THE CONTENT?????????????????? LIKE???? I COULDNT WRITE THIS? THIS IS...DARE I SAY...BETTER THAN FICTION?????????? EXCUSE YOU???

BUT ALSO I HAVE QUESTIONS KJLSHJGKDFG HOW DIDN'T HER TEAMMATES KNOW SHE WAS PROPOSING AND BUYING A RING THERE TOO?! SURELY SHE WOULD'VE TOLD THEM? NO? KJDHGJSKDFG YOU GUYS BOUGHT A RING FROM THE SAME JEWELRY STORE BUT NOT *THE SAME RING* RIGHT?!??!?! THAT WOULD JUST BE TOO MUCH FOR MY GAY HEART TO HANDLE??? LISTEN I NEED DIAGRAMS, VIDEOS, PICTURES, A POWER POINT PRESENTATION. I FEEL LIKE I WILL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH DETAILS HERE.