#i sincerely hope this survives lunch time at school

[rimeswithpurple]

Little Purple's Halloween costume is done!

Every single step of the process took longer than I thought it would. I surprised myself in the level of finishings I did. Normally, I'd be wielding my pinking shears to finish every seam in a time crunch, but I employed French seams and bias tape binding. It's a really lovely piece!

I learned tambour beading for this as well. It was frustrating and time consuming, but I'm excited to try my new skill in a project for myself!

I tend to make the girls' costumes out of cotton whenever possible so that the dresses can live on as everyday dresses or in the dress up bin. The Elsa and Anna dresses I made 3 years ago are still in wardrobe rotation. So far, I've made three Elsa dresses and one Anna dress, I feel like I'll get to every dress by the time they outgrow Frozen.

Now, I've got to make a Spider Gwen costume. No pressure!

[drifters-destiny]

this is not a love story. | issue #1

“A confession from the genius prince...”

Summary: High school AU. You thought your high school experience would be mediocre at best, simply surviving day by day before you finally graduated, but that isn’t the case now.

And it all started with a letter from the genius prince of Teyvat High.

Inspired by the anime/manga series Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun.

Pairing: Albedo x GN!Reader

A/N: I apologize for being gone so long!!! Also, to clear up some confusion, I deleted the original version of this series because I wasn’t satisfied where the story was going. I hope you guys enjoy this version!

Weird…he’s not here today. He always appears by the doorway around this time to watch me.

“Looking for the genius prince?”

You broke out of your trance as your gaze flickered over to a grinning Childe who continued to paint on his canvas. “Your eyes keep darting at the doorway,” he pointed out while your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. You weren’t exactly looking for him, but rather…you had grown used to his presence.

For the past few weeks, you noticed a lingering figure outside the art club. You, at first, didn’t even notice since your back faced the entryway until Childe greeted him, causing you to turn around yourself and see the genius prince himself looking at you…or more specifically, your painting.

“You painted that?” he once asked when you met him the first time around. You simply nodded in response and his eyes softened as he continued to compliment your work. “May I come here to watch you paint?”

And so for the next few weeks, he did come to the art room to watch you paint, and sometimes, he’d even chat with Childe.

Albedo Kreideprinz was his name, the genius prince of Teyvat High. He lived up to the name since he was academically successful in every subject and he carried a princely aura, making anyone susceptible to fall for him.

However, it seemed that you captured the attention of the genius prince and you were undeniably confused.

And the letter you received from him didn’t help.

Excuse me for being forward, but there’s something very important I want to tell you…something so important that it has been plaguing my mind for so many nights. It’s been troubling me, and my heart can’t settle until I let my feelings out in the open. So please, meet me on Friday after school on the rooftop and lull my flustered heart.

Sincerely,

Albedo Kreideprinz

Though Childe was the teasing type, your friend never asked the contents of what was written and you were thankful for that because how can you explain this letter to him?

This has to be a confession letter, right? You’ve watched your fair share of romance anime to know that meeting someone on the rooftop because they had something important to tell you meant that they were confessing to you. It had to be…and you were screwed.

You weren’t interested in him. Sure, he was a good-looking guy and you knew that many people would like to be with him, but you were an exception. You didn’t like him that way and while it did suck that you had to hurt his feelings, you didn’t want to raise his hopes up either.

You sighed and returned to painting, ignoring your friend’s inquisitive gaze as you continued to mull over your predicament.

You weren’t looking forward to Friday at all and it seemed your anxiousness was noticeable enough for your friends to ultimately ask you about it the following day during lunch.

“Hmm, you’re hiding something from us,” Yoimiya stated as Childe nodded his head in agreement.

You tried to hide your shock. “Wh-whatever do you mean? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been lost in thought as of late…ever since you got that letter from Albedo,” Childe mused as you felt more nervous. “You guys are not dating so something else is going on and you don’t want to tell us?”

“There isn’t anything to tell,” you insisted, but your friends were unconvinced and wanted to ask you more about you and Albedo. However, Yoimiya let out a sigh while Childe shrugged his shoulders.

“Fine, if you don’t want to tell us, we don’t mind, but I feel lonely now,” he pouted and you chuckled, shaking your head. “My only friend has been captivated by the genius prince.”

Yoimiya smacked him on the shoulder. “Did you happen to forget about me?”

“You’re different!”

“How am I different!?”

“You’re you!”

“What the hell does that supposed to mean!?”

Soon enough, the conversation turned into playful banters amongst your friends and for a very short while, you forgot about the situation. However, it didn’t last too long and you began mulling over your predicament again. With each passing day, you felt more and more anxious to the point that you couldn’t even focus on your studies. Though none of your friends read the letter, they were aware that Albedo was the source of your troubles and even offered to confront him for you. However, you declined your friends’ offer and insisted that you’d deal with it yourself.

Eventually, Friday finally came around and you had to face your predicament head on. Yoimiya wished you luck as Childe advised you on how to turn down Albedo gently. Your friends seemed to connect the dots and knew what was happening, but letting you handle the situation at hand like you requested.

Walking up the stairs to the rooftop, you felt more and more nervous by the minute. Is this what it feels like to be a character in a romance comic? Meeting up at the rooftop? Receiving a confession from a handsome guy? it does feel like one.

You couldn’t lie to yourself that being confessed to does feel nice, but you had to decline nonetheless. You weren’t ready for romance in your life just yet. You were perfectly content with how you are now.

Yeah, that’s what I should tell Albedo.

Opening the door to the rooftop, you saw Albedo already waiting there, his gaze fixated by the view before him before shifting to you, teal eyes softening. “Hey, thank you for meeting up with me,” he begins, a kind smile forming on his lips.

Crap! What was I going to say to him again?

“I apologize for doing all of this. I wasn’t sure how to approach this situation since this is my first time ever doing this.”

He sounds so earnest! How can I hurt his feelings?

“That’s why I wanted to wait until Friday to meet up with you. I didn’t want to make any mistakes upon facing you. I want to make sure my feelings for you are clear and you won’t misunderstand.”

Argh! He’s making this hard on me!

“I’ve watched you for a long time now and from what I’ve seen, I know my feelings are true and I must act upon them.”

No! No! No! I need to stop him!

“See the truth is I…”

“I DON’T LIKE YOU!”

“…”

“…”

“Pardon?”

So much for turning him down gently. “I mean, I don’t like you in a romantic sense, okay? You’re really kind and I love that you enjoy my paintings, but I’m not interested in dating right now. I hope you understand,” you explained.

Albedo blinked at you for a moment before blushing, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Well…I…actually…I didn’t want to confess to you.”

What?

“You’re really kind yourself and I think you’re a great person, but the reason why I asked you up here is to be my assistant, not my lover.”

“What!?”

“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought my letter was quite clear about the intentions of meeting you today. I just wanted to formally ask you to be my assistant for the romance comic I’m working on.”

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about the situation. How does one even redeem themselves in this case? How? And how did his letter explain his intentions!? You really thought he was confessing to you. And meeting on the rooftop of all places!? Couldn’t he set the meeting in a classroom so you wouldn’t get the wrong idea?

“You see, I publish monthly issues of my comic in That’s Life magazine under the pen name Calx. I also do other projects for the Yae Publishing House from time to time but publishing My First and Last is my primary focus. Oh right, My First and Last is the name of the comic I’m working on. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it or not.”

I can’t let my friends know about this, especially Childe. He will make fun of me to no end if he finds out that this wasn’t a love confession at all. I can already hear his teasing voice!

“Anyhow, I need assistance doing the beta for my comic, which is filling in the white space of the designated area in a panel. Seeing your painting skills made me notice how talented you are in that area.”

Maybe if I just transfer to a different school and change my name, I will finally escape from the embarrassment I’m experiencing right now.

“You will be compensated for your work and you will be able to choose your schedule as well. If you’re okay with that, we can start working on some panels today. Are you interested in this opportunity?”

“...”

“…”

“…”

“…[Name]?”

“I’m sorry, I’m too busy being swallowed by my humiliation. Can you repeat that?”

“...”

“...”

“Do you want to be my assistant?”

[ay-chuu]

Precious hat boi+6 please? ♥️ it can be like Chuuya started to become so clumsy around y/n since the day he realized that he likes y/n

Thanks a lot for accepting my request, if you don't it's still fine. Have a nice day

Prompt 6: "how you survived this long by yourself"

A/N: I dont know why but, from the day i sent you a message, i always felt so sincere to you just by heart <3 So i really thought about your request a lot. Hope you'll like it love!

Warnings!: Storm Bringer spoi's! Reader is Chuuya's friend from 14 years old! Kinda bound by traumas-

Pairing: Chuuya x gn!reader

Souls are sometimes involuntarily attracted to each other.

The first time you met Chuuya, you saw him in the backyard of your school feeding a dog with his own lunch.

You were surprised. Because Chuuya was known as one of the punks of the school, -especially with the "Sheep" connection- so you watched him with a few seconds of shock.

When Chuuya noticed your gaze and turned his head quickly, the gentle expressions on his face quickly turned into aggressive and cold expression. You were so afraid of his facial expressions that you officially explained yourself like a reflex.

"S-sorry! I must have been blindsided in an instant!"

"Yes, I've noticed that too, you fool." and strangely enough, since he realized your innocence, he just stayed there, putting his hand in his pocket. As he stared at you with a cold gaze, you felt a cold sweat pouring out.

"You … You're Chuuya, right? Chuuya Nakahara."

“Yes. Who are you?"

And when you introduced yourself, you inwardly cursed your curiosity because you didn't really want him to recognize you. But well, the questions are mutual. Unless you're an information thief or something. And, oh, by the way, your ridiculous curiosity combined with your decency, you couldn't keep your mouth shut.

"The food you gave the dog, wasn't it your lunch? You're not hungry?"

As he said, "I don't care-" You both heard his stomach rumbling. And at that moment, maybe out of compassion, maybe because you wanted to get to know Chuuya, you said the only sentence that came to your mind.

"Would you like to share my lunch? I did a little too much bento today…" "Tch- as I was saying. I'm not hungry-"

"Please?" And with those sweet puppy eyes of yours, Chuuya only shrugged, cursing inwardly.

Well, the more you talked to him, the more you found out that he's not such a bad guy. He's a bit strange. Someone who likes to kick bad people's ass. -So at least that's how you interpreted it in your sentences.- He likes dogs. An idiot who choked because he talked while eating. And oh, finally, he's the leader of Sheep.

I mean, your future leader.

Love connects two souls that are attracted to each other. But it doesn't show that it's the feeling that does it.

Two souls who love each other want to take on the pain of the soul they love.

Dazai was watching from the sidelines, the "quiet" sparring of the Sheep leader and the vice leader. Oh man, it was ironic that you two didn't know about the betrayal that will soon happen.

"What do you mean, 'I'm working temporarily for Port Mafia' !?"

"I SWEAR IT WAS BECAUSE OF THAT BASTARD WITH THE BANDAGES-"

And… after about 30 minutes of discussion, Chuuya finally said that he wanted to go to Dazai and get out of this as soon as possible, AND NO, HE DEFINITELY WASN'T DOING THIS BECAUSE HIS BEST FRIEND WAS MADLY ANGRY AT HIM. HE'S THE LEADER OF THE GROUP, OKAY?!

So, yes. That's why he kept your work as short as possible even tough he rejects because Chuuya didn't want you to be offended by him. Because he was very attached to you.

So much so that he was willing to correct any trauma you had and add it to his own life. He would want you to get rid of a disgusting man like your father and not miss a sweet mother…

To be honest, until you two became close, he never understood that you had a shitty childhood until you told each other about your traumas. But then he realized that the puzzle pieces fit together. You were a quiet person. You loved cats. You hated fights(unlike him, anyways-)and you always tried to be as compliant as possible. And finally, you were a very good person. Reliable, loyal and kind… And he knows that this world is hell for good people. While your friendship was developing, you trusted a guy like him, even going so far as to join his gang. He couldn't break your trust or even worry you. Because he knew it would be a betrayal, and he wouldn't do it if he died to someone like you who would never betray him.

Oh, he wished you weren't the only one who wouldn't betray him…

Even if they are experiencing the greatest pain in this world.

Sometimes love blinds two souls.

Chuuya had always wondered how time was able to give pains that went in the slowest way, in how fast a process.

Because the pain of betrayal was still like yesterday, and a whole year had passed since then. At least, he thought. God had taken pity on him and enabled him to overcome the pain of Sheep, whom he trusted so much, with the same confrontations as his closest friend. In other words, he wasn't alone. And Chuuya knew that's how you felt, too.

Maybe that's why you didn't mind him joining the Port Mafia. Because he's been getting over his pain since he joined, and look on the bright side! He had new friends!

And that's probably why, again, you didn't want to think about him being alone while you two were investigating his past.

But there were so many things you didn't know.

God always raises a dilemma in something. Because, sometimes that's how you learn about the good side of human feelings, but damn it, did he have to fall in love with you? And also, damn it again, why is it that since you realized this situation, he has become even more stupid, clumsy and made him look at you like crazy?

And the worst of it is, again, damn it, he would rather die than open up to you because he was madly afraid of losing you.

Nevertheless, he knew deep down that sooner or later youwould notice this, because he had been looking at you like he was going to eat you or somethning. I mean, it's not his fault, okay! You're so charming, you're good, and my god, you're loyal to him.Its your fault! He had to be a person without a brain or something to not fall in love with you. Of course, if he is a human…

Still, Chuuya was an idiot. Because if he could understand that you have so many feelings for him too, he wouldn't have to contract so much.

Although the love connection of two souls is visible to everyone.

Souls are what makes a person human.

Romantic or not, love is the strongest feeling that gives the soul the property of reason.

In the people you love, pain is pervasive. Because seeing a single tear of that person could have made you want to burn the world down. That's how valuable Chuuya was to you. You thought if only you could take some of his pain away from him and put it on yourself…

On your shoulder, with his head shaking slowly and trying to cry with silence, you were sure that you had to talk to him, but you didn't know where to start. Maybe you should have started by saying that it wasn't his fault that his friends died, and that they all died very happily from their bond to him? Or should you have told him that you were madly in love with her, that you would stay by his side for as long as you lived, and that when you were with his, you understood humanity more than anything else? Maybe you should have told me that those asshole scientists can't understand any emotion shit?

No. Surely the first things you should have said shouldn't have been the thorns that the root problem raised. You should have told him that there are more human than some scientist shit. Because the body born of the codes it was formed from was more alive than the body of most people in this world, according to you.

After all, only God gives the soul. It's not fucking science codes.

"…Chuuya?"

"…"

"How you survived this long by yourself?"

And fuck. Seriously, you caught him with that question. Looking at you with a puzzled and questioning face, he only said, "What?".

"I said, where do you get the motivation to live?"

"Does the answer to this question really matter? Because after the information just given, I think my answer is the most unnecessary."

"If you answer the question, you will understand that in fact it is the most valuable for you."

But he did not understand. What difference does it make to someone who was not born a human being for the purpose of living? Maybe even the pain he was feeling right now was coded… But.. Oh... when he thought about it, he thought that this is impossible, because he realized that he felt the same feelings as that bandaged bastard. And when he understood what you said, he pinched your hand to answer the question. He got nervous when he realized that you were holding hands at that moment.

"My feelings… I live for my feelings and the goals of my feelings." he was able to say while slowly blushing and swallowing. You just smiled at his reaction and smoothing his hair with your other hand. "Exactly, your body could be a clone. But your soul, feelings and thoughts are never encodings taken from your clone. DNA puts feelings in the body, but it is the soul that controls them. The soul makes a person human." You put your hand gently on his cheek. "What I'm saying to you is that if there is a being here who can be described as human, it's you and me. Because neither those asshole scientists have a soul as great as yours, nor those who contribute to it, do you understand?"

And he understood.He began to tremble with the relief that came to his body with understanding the only thing he needed to understand at that moment. He was a human. He felt, he understood, and he was suffering. He loved you. He was definitely a human being…

"I…"

"I'm in love with you, Chuuya."

With your confession, he looked at you in shock as his pupils shrank.

"I'm too much in love with you… I wish i could erase everything that has been done to you, I wish i could take your pain away from you. But the only thing I can do for you is to be able to have feelings for you while staying with you until the end of my time. I'm sorry… I never saw my father as a family, and since my mother died, you are the only thing that can be called my family. So please, stop feeling sorry for things that happened in the past. Pity the heart of someone like you." towards the very last parts, you finished your speech, feeling that your voice was trembling.

As Chuuya grasped your words, he felt like the stupidest person in the world. Because the way he treated you, you treated him the same way. In other words, as much as he was in love with you, you were just as much in love with him. You were right. His suffering would never go away, it would not diminish even if shared, and he would not be able to change his past. But... just as he could face every pain, he had to learn to erase it. Because that's how humans learned about life. Live, comprehend, learn and erase the pain. And he was a human.

He promised himself at that moment, that from now on he would not have a single thing to hide from you, that is, from his true family and love. He would protect you until the end of your time, and he would always take care of you, just like you did him. At that moment, he thought a lot about whether you are human or not. He thinks you are an angel. Just an angel specially given to him, and he wanted to be angry with himself for not realizing it wisely before.

"You're right, I can never reduce my pain, but i can erase it after I've lived through as much as I need to live from it. Because a human learns with pain."

He took both of your hands and as he slowly leaned forward and kissed your lips, he was glad that the first kiss happened at such a beautiful moment.

"I don't know what will happen in the future. But with you by my side, i don't feel scared anymore, because when i'm with you, i can overcome everything. The only thing i'm afraid of is losing you… I don't know how to express my love for you. I love you. I hope that my fear is unnecessary, because you are always so strong, my love." And as he hugged you tight, you noticed that you were both crying.

Souls mature with feelings. And as the souls mature, the being called "human" reflects its own definition more and more every day.

Souls overcome what they cannot overcome, by connecting with each other. Because romantic or not, love is strong enough to overcome human greatest pain.

[aisawvhel]

04/01/24

hi, it’s a new. a new start. new chapter added to my life. what the fuck, ayoko na e. kimi ! :p

okay, so earlier wala naman gaanong nangyari. during morning time, kinilig at nabaliw lang ako sa binabasa kong story sa wattpad since my goal this month ay matapos lahat ng stories sa offline ko. bale, dalawa na natatapos ko tapos on-going yung pang third kasi medyo mahaba siya and pure english siya sis kaya mahilo-hilo ang utak ko.

mga 11 yata yon or 10, niyaya ako nila G sa room since lunch na raw, naka-tatlong iling ako pero she insisted kaya sumama na ako. ganon lang yon, pilitin niyo lang ako para pumayag ako. tapos edi ayon, nasa room na kami. masaya, malamig, pero malungkot kasi lowbat na ako oo, lesson na ito sa akin na magdala na ako ng sarili kong charger tuwing nasa school ako.

then during vacant time, kasama ko yung circle ni G hanggang sa mag exam kami sa p.e, and doon talaga nag lift up yung mood ko T___T ikaw ba naman makakasama ng mga ka-humor mo sinong hindi matutuwa ron, pero shempre medyo may nonchalantitis pa rin tayo kanina kasi yon talaga ang peg ko this month. pero fr, mamatay-matay ako kakatawa sa kanila kanina, and sobrang-sobrang saya nila kasama. G’s the first one to ask me if ayos lang ba ako kaya love na love ko siya, palagi niya rin akong inaampon. and also, sabi niya sa akin kanina na magpi-picture raw kami bukas (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) she’s the best i swear !!!

tapos yon, thankful ako kay R since siya yung nagtaas nung upuan ko. ang nangyari kasi ay dapat kanya-kanya kami ng pag akyat sa taas nung mga upuan, tapos nagulat ako bigla niyang kinuha yung upuan ako 🥹🥹🥹 kaya ayon, nag thank you naman ako ‘no! tsaka pala, ang cute niya tumawa kanina. idk if i made him laugh noong sinabi kong “aww, kawawa naman” kasi Paul was teasing me ab sa ex ko na kasama nila sa circle oo (na dating nasa circle ko rin) tapos sabi niya “tanong mo kung miss niya” then i asked, “break na ba sila?” tapos yon, nung sinabi kong “aww, kawawa naman” tumawa siya. then then then, nung buhat-buhat na niya yung upuan namin, nahulog yung jacket niya kaya ako na lang nagdala, tapos kinuha na lang niya sa akin after. ang saya-saya nila kasama i swear, sayang lang at wala sina S at B kanina.

tapos nung pauwi na kami, kasabay ko sila maglakad tapos bumili kami ng fries hehehe i feel like deserve ko naman yon since i survived this day. tapos ayon, masaya akong umuwi :)

so, that’s it for today. i’ll probably meet you again tomorrow, diary. and i hope na sana i’ll be writing happy moments again, like this one. thank you for starting this month softly with me.

— sincerely,

isobel.

[ohheyitsokay]

Okay so I finally came up with a Soulmate AU request to celebrate your (very well-deserved) milestone! How about a soulmark au with poly frontier? I’m really curious to hear your thoughts on how everyone would handle having the same mark as four other people! (Aside from Will and Benny of course - so maybe everyone else has two marks while they each have one??) - Ghost

ghost, my first fandom friend, by biggest encourager of self-indulgent chaos... I sincerely hope you enjoy

warnings: this takes place "in" my poly frontier au, which means it's 18+.

and by in, I mean this is an au to my au, so just... yeah. you know what's happening.

<<

soulmate requests / follower celebration

>>

They knew, deep down that they were soulmates before the marks came in solid.

Even when there was just the faintest echo of shading, almost a bruise of a moment, they already knew.

Because the four of them, and Tom, had willing gone to hell and back with each other. They had felt the lifeblood bleed out of each other, and given their very breath to try to make up for it, sacrificed... everything, for each other. Not for their country, like the thought, and it wasn't even for the greater good that they survived - it was the men who's eyes found each other's across the fire that fortified their souls. And they'd been pushed and pulled and stretched together, and when only four remained, thoroughly broken and then healing together, they knew.

Months into therapy, each on their own, and a lifetime into tired phonecalls with quiet apologies, the tattoos solidified.

It was Santi who organized the dinner

"Can... can I ask you guys something?"

"A little late for that, don't you think?" Will’s words were without bite, and he sipped his drink carefully.

"Fuck off," he said begrudgingly, endearingly. "Your guy's... came in, too?" That part was false confidance, a thin veil over wild fear.

"Yep," Frankie's tone was matter-of-fact, satisfied. Glances and nods, they all... processed it. Benny swallowed the last of his drink and Frankie's knuckles ran over his thighs. Santi inhaled deeply before letting the breathe out slowly, trying to ignore the slight tremble of his hands.

It was messy, the soulmate talk. They'd been having it all their lives - the intricacies that even the world's most powerful governments still couldn't untangle. And Frankie and Santi each had two.

Will dragged his thumb through the condensation on his glass, looking involuntarily at his brother.

"I need to tell you guys something." Their heads shot up to look at him, and Benny almost laughed.

"There's someone else."

They were looking at him in blank shock, an appropriate reaction.

"Fuck."

"You know this... how, exactly?"

"Childhood friend. She got two, in college. Matches Will and me, the same as you guys. " Ben sounded almost giddy, his words making the chaos real.

"Mom hated it - was sure one of us was going to die or get our heart broken. But then we saw your guy's and -"

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you say anything before now?" Frankie was mad. It was too much - it felt unreal.

"She said she didn't want to choose either brother, said it didn't feel right."

"Now we know why, I guess." Benny's hand ran across Frankie's shoulder, his attempt to make light of it all had been put aside.

"She?"

"Yeah."

Pope dragged his hand along his jaw, drink forgotten. There was a familiar glint in his eye, and Will knew he felt it too - like it or not, it felt right. Frankie would take longer to convince - he looked like he wanted to crack his head open and cook whatever was inside.

"You guys should meet her."

Catfish made a strangled noise, and Will couldn't help but kiss his temple.

"Whenever you're ready."

-

It took weeks.

Frankie went silent for ten days, ignoring calls and texts, before Will came home and found him on his couch.

They talked for awhile and it was nice, different than therapy. Not about being Delta, not about Columbia or cocaine, they talked about... you. About how you'd been Will's first love, since he was a pretend knight in shining armor, and you'd asked to be the dragon. About how he'd seen that same look in Benny's eyes when you'd been the only one to turn up at one of his high school shows. Their long talks, trying to figure out how to move on from their soulmate, how impossible it felt until they all met on the force. About how scary it was, for all these friendships to become something so... unknown.

And over chili, Frankie sighed, and agreed to meet you. Because of Will, he was already in love with you more than he'd admit even to himself.

-

They invited you over to Santi's for dinner, not wanting to cause a scene at a restaurant.

Benny hugged you the moment you walked in, crushing your nerves and your ribcage at the same time. Your hand cradled his cheek, a reassuring touch.

Then Will gently pulled you into his arms, harboring you against his chest. He asked questions into your hair, and you grabbed fistfulls of his shirt before you nodded.

The one they introduced as Frankie - Catfish - didn't touch you but he might as well have. He stepping into your space, looking right into your eyes, standing over you like he was as tall as Ben. His words were kind, and careful. His tattoos matched yours.

The other - Santi, Pope - dropped the package of farmer's market veggies he'd been holding onto the ground. Then he shook your hand, while the others shot him looks like he'd grown an extra head. You wondered if Will had texted you the wrong names - he didn't seem excited to meet you like they'd said. If anything, he seemed caught off-guard, like there was a confidance you had taken away. But his tattoos matched yours.

Your nerves returned.

Food helped, polite conversations melting into teasing stories and giddy laughter. They ate a lot, and you smiled when they shared bites with each other. Under the table Benny’s hand found yours, and squeezed before he got distracted. Above, Will touched your cheek and for the first time, you let yourself lean into his warmth.

And when you began to clean the dishes, something shifted. Frankie's hands ran over yours in the soapy water, and he seemed startled, but he shifter closer to you, both of you flushing as you sought the touch again.

Moments later you stumbled upon Santi looking at the stars when you took out the trash. It was flattering, that such a man would be nervous because of you. Standing on your toes, you kissed his cheek, and he pulled you into his arms, grab so tight you though you understood his fears. His palm held your head against his neck,, and you wrapped your arms around his broad ribcage. Will found you like that, and leaned against the doorframe, watching.

You felt like you were free falling, and you could tell they felt it too. It was a lot to take in, but no one seemed like they wanted the night to end. Trading stories and sharing glances, it dragged on and on, until Francisco caught you yawning, and coaxed the evening to a close.

By the time he succeeded, you knew, and so did they. Marks be damned - this was it.

-

Your first individual date was with Benny. It wasn't as easy as either of you expected - his own anxiety about the situation finally catching up to his excitement. He was a good friend, always had been, always would be, and you knew him like the back of your hand. Dating had been off-limits for so long.... it was going to take time to rewrite.

"I just... I love you. I love you all so much." Your Ben was always honest. It would've felt like a crazy thing to say, on a first date, but everything about this wasn't traditional.

"I love you too, Ben, you know I do." Your voice was quiet, trying to convey how strange this was for you, too, and he let out a long, slow breath. After awhile, air full of thoughtful silence, his shoulders relaxed and he smiled, soft and happy.

His rough hands found yours again, and this time, he didn't let go until he had to.

-

When you met Frankie for lunch, you felt suddenly shy. His dark eyes felt like they could see right into your heart, and you fidgeted, hoping he liked whatever he saw.

He talked like he knew you, and you felt like he did, a strange comfort in the chaos of your worlds. When your wrist bumped your glass he caught both, hand lingering on your skin as he ducked his head and pulled his eyes away.

Words came easier, then, and more and more, until suddenly you felt like maybe fate know what it was doing.

Frankie was thoughtful - so thoughtful and careful and kind, you watched him in awe, tempted to hug him without abandon. And he talked with passion, about your boys, how they saved him time and time again, and how he took care of them, when you couldn't.

You realized, as you kissed his cheek goodbye, that he was the one who helped change Benny's tire, so he could make it to your birthday party a few years ago. Footsteps already on the way down the street, your heart tugged, begging you to take one last look at his fluffy curls and steady eyes. When you turned back, he was watching you, hands in his pockets, and you wondered as you waved if it was too soon to say you were head over heels for Francisco Morales.

-

Dinner with Santi felt the most like a first date, of all of them. He was quick to flirt, but his eyes held yours, and his smile was perfectly crooked, and you knew he meant every word.

He told you information, rather than stories, rambling excitedly, one train of thought stringing into the next. When he realized his tangents, he flushed, wringing his napkin as he apologized.

"Don't," you shushed him, "Tell me more, please."

He was silent for a moment, pausing to drink you in, heart racing in spite of himself. And then he resumed, and you thought maybe you got it.

For years, he'd had loves all around him, but... you were his first opportunity to be romantic in a dramatic way, as intense as his heart had ached for, silently. It was lovely, watching him settle into his skin, and when he kissed your temple that night, it was a thank you, and a promise.

Despite all logic, the free falling and stumbling steps towards whatever came next, he made you feel safe.

-

It was a familiar grassy hill, you met Will on, one you'd climb to when you were teens who needed to talk.

He sat close - closer than he ever had - but enough away that you could move, if you wanted to. It was strange, talking about the others with him, seeing the relief in his eyes as your honesty poured out. Moments later, he matched it, and you saw that golden glow as he smiled.

"I'm glad, really I am."

You waited.

"But..." gently, you bumped into him and he looked at you, blue eyes questioning. "I know you, Will."

His smile grew.

"Could I... I want to kiss you." It wasn't really a question - and he held himself back, watching for your response. There was no need to add I want to kiss you because I've been waiting to, aching to. Since we were kids - let me kiss you first. Please. Both lf you knew what he meant.

You weren't sure who leaned in first, but his hands, grabbed at your cheeks, fingertips in your hair, and his lips were warm and soft.

It, all of it, felt like home.

<<

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @horton-hears-a-honk

[heresathreebee]

KINKTOBER DAY 6 Foodplay/Rimming

Colonel Rick X Reader

AN: will edit tomorrow, too tired

It's your daughter's first day of first grade and to celebrate, Rick is in the kitchen making waffles and pancakes. And to his great annoyance, you had found a can of whipped cream in the fridge door. 

"Stop doing that," he scolded you over his shoulder and flips the last pancake, "that shit is nothing but pure sugar and she's gonna be too full to eat real food." 

Your laugh sounds muffled and whoops the image of you swiping white cream from your lips… but god willing, it will not tempt him right now. Today's about getting your daughter to school after that disaster of a kindergarten year. 

"Here." 

Rick swipes the can of cream from your hands and places two plates stacked high with fluffy, chocolate or blueberry baked breakfast delights. Your daughter squealed her delight and grabbed one of everything then she sat back and stared at it. 

Rick glanced at you in confusion but you were distracted (he was leaning on the counter and his biceps were bulging) so he asked, "'s a matter, darlin'?" 

Big and pretty eyes focused on him from behind the mountain she piled on her plate. "I'm not hungry anymore." 

Rick saw you stiffen as if you were struck with rigamortis and he tried his best not to glare at you in front of her. 

"You're fine baby, here–" 

You danced around Rick and filled a glass of water to bring back to her. She drank it at your behest as you fixed a plate for yourself. And like clockwork, the water washed the immediate taste of sugar from her mouth and she dug into the cholocate chip waffle at the top of her pile. 

Two parents sighed in unison and walked their daughter down to the bus stop. She held onto both of your hands, swinging back and forth to distract herself. She almost didn't go– Rick had to promise to come pick her up if she didn't want to stay but she had to stay until lunch. 

When she finally boarded the bus (with a face like you were sending her to boarding school), the two of you returned to the mess in the kitchen. You groaned, kicking your slippers to the side and huffing all the way home. 

"Oh stop it, it was your idea," Rick laughed. "Do you think she'll be ok?" 

You nod. "If she didn't want to go, we'd have had to drag her kicking and screaming. She'll be alright babe." 

Rick starts to load the soaked dishes from the sink to the dishwasher and you pause looking over the leftovers. "Did you have any of these?" 

"Hm? No, I didn't," your husband replied. He felt a tap on his shoulder and found you offering him a bit of blueberry pancake on a fork. "My hands are wet." 

"I'll do it for you, dummy." 

Rick opened his mouth to receive. The fool. Instead of a mouthful of pancake he got whip creamed instead. His sigh sounded, in your ears, like a deeply irritated 'goddamn.' You laughed yourself hoarse and offered the fork again. 

Rick watched you this time but true to your original word, you let him take a bite of what he wanted. Aaaand almost as a reflex, you licked the stray, sticky syrup from his chin. He definitely shivered– you felt it, but he doesn't scold you or bend you over the table like you hoped. 

You let him have his moment of restraint. The two of you fucked like rabbits, he knew what was on your mind. The dishwasher was loaded and plates emptied, all that was left was to soak the remaining dishes and wipe down the counters and table. 

But you watched him set up– hand towel over the shoulder ready to handwash what was left like he was unaffected by you. 

On Rick's part, he wasn't trying to frustrate you, he just didn't like to half ass a job (can't relate honestly). He heard you stomping in the direction of your bedroom. He was intent to ignore it to finish his task, but then he heard you stomp back into the kitchen and stop. 

The sudden silence bothered him. That and the feeling of your eyes burning holes into the back of his head. He half glanced– looked at the fridge to find you in his peripherals– but you weren't moving. 

Finally he half turned and found you doing exactly what it sounded like you were doing– standing, leaning, waiting (rather impatiently actually). 

And you had the whip cream still. You tapped your finger and the intensity of your glare gives him no choice but to stop. 

"What?" 

You don't answer but you do crook your finger at him. Rick dries his hands and obeys. Every step he takes towards you has your tightass stance unwinding and by the time he reaches you, you've relaxed into a lazy lean and mischievous grin. 

He asks again, "what?" 

You grab him by his belt buckle and drag him closer to you. "Take your pants off and bend over for me." 

You feel Rick stiffen. "...why?" 

"Because I wanna do something to you," you answer cryptically. 

"Am I going to enjoy what you're about to do to me?" 

You scoff. "I think you will, yes. If it's not, you're welcome to tap out." 

Rick's fingers twitched. "Let me put this away first." 

He reaches for the can of cream but you stop him. "This is a part of it." 

He says your name in warning. You can see he's uncomfortable about it and maybe he's right to be– you have been unpredictable and childish today– but you push forward. Give him your best, most sincere puppy dog eyes. 

"Please? I'll take it slow, if you don't want it, tell me and I'll stop," you say. "It's sort of a… continuation of Sunday's exploration…" 

You stuck your finger in his ass while he was pounding into you (he liked it a lot actually, he just doesn't do it often). You can see his thousand yard stare as he recalls Sunday’s events that left him shaking with pleasure for an hour after. 

"...ok." 

Rick reaches for his belt and undones it slowly. You know in your head it's because he's still on the fence about it but your adrenaline rises and you take pleasure in watching him strip. Once his pants are at his ankles, you feel like you need to help ease him into the mood. 

You start by cupping his cheeks and kissing him. Long, deep kisses that convey your commitment to pacing yourself. He kisses you back in kind and struggles to remove his underwear past his knees because he doesn't want to pause kissing you even for a second. He gives up after a second and puts both hands on your waist to pull you closer, deeper into the kisses. 

"I love you," you whisper in between dipping your tongue into his mouth. "I'm going to take care of you." 

Rick moans in answer and you feel 'something' poking your stomach. You break away from his lips and pepper kisses down the column of his throat, over his shirt clad heart and chest and you sink to your knees pulling his underwear with it. 

You look up at him knowing it's his second favorite position to have you in. His bright eyes are dark and he swallows roughly but instead of giving his awaiting cock a kiss, you stand. 

"Now bend over." Rick hesitates but obeys. "Good boy." 

He glares at you over his shoulder but he does as you ask, setting his hands palms down on the counter and spreading his legs as much as his pants will allow. He jerks when he feels your hand massage the inside of his thigh, but when you don't move on right away, he is able to relax into it. 

I trust you, he thinks. He feels your hair tickle the base of his spine and you plant a kiss on his back, then you straighten up and massaging more of his hips, his butt, his thighs without touching his most sensitive parts. 

When he feels you massage his cheeks a little harder, pulling them apart, letting go, and doing it on repeat, his cock hardens. You haven't touched it once and his intuition tells him you don't want him to either. His breathing picks up and it feels like you're torturing him now. 

Did you change your mind? Are you having second thoughts? 

As if on cue, you ask him: "have you ever… tried rimming before?" 

Oh… that was the last thing Rick was expecting you to say. 

You got nervous when you saw his head jerk up from the counter. You were preparing to step back and give him space, but he reached a hand back and caught a belt loop in your pants which he used to drag you closer to him (hips pressed to hips). He seemed to be considering his answer. 

"...yeah… I have." He looks back at you. "Is that what you want to do?" 

You nod cautiously. If he's not into it, you're not going to make him feel like he has to for your sake. Your sex life is fine without anal play– if he's not into it, you'll survive. 

Oh but to your great fortune, Rick is very much into it. He puts his head back down on the table and, as a show of good faith, he tries to spread his legs just a centimeter further. 

"Go for it." 

He's a shivering mess. Your fingers felt good inside him but your tongue? Expert. He was going to lose his hearing from how loud he was moaning and whimpering. If he knew you were touching yourself right now, he’d have come without even trying. 

“Please, please, please–” Rick choked when you finally touched him where he needed you most. You wrapped your hand around his cock and tugged. Stroking him roughly and pulling towards you which jostled his balls as well. At this point he was barely breathing. 

He started to say your name but– “Uhhnnn–”

Rick comes in your hand and all over your shirt. You refrain from slipping a second finger into him only because you might kill him if you did. He comes so hard he’s dizzy and he barely has enough sense to reach across the counter and hold himself onto it. 

He had been leaning back into your touch, hips inching further and further away and to keep him from falling on you, you stand and push him back up, draping yourself over his back to hug him. 

It’s ten minutes before Rick comes down from his high. His breathing is deep and evened, legs freezing cold but back warm, at least everywhere you were. 

"Rick…Rick…" 

He shakes you with a laugh. "Yeah baby? You sure know how to work my shit, don't you?" 

He cleared his throat and said adoringly, "you are going to be the death of me." 

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ram Sweeney x Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Dating HC's

Notes:

*Sigh*... I write regularly write for creeps like Freddy Krueger and Offenderman... and am one of the few tumblrs that write for Sheriff Hoyt romantically... and yet Kurt and Ram are my real guilty pleasure characters.

Anyway I hope someone other then me wanted this XDD I'm gonna do a Kurt one too.

Warnings: Some NSFW but not explicit.

Your song: The Way I Loved You (Taylor Swift)

He respects my space and never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother, talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable

...

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

So in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

You two as a TV/Movie/Book couple: Bianca Piper and Wesley Rush (The DUFF)

Having the kind of relationship that no one else understands at all. Like, you have nothing in commen except commen history and your feelings for each other (Which are, on the other hand, totally clear to everyone) but when you're together you're always laughing and being affectionate.

Being in an on and off relationship throughout middle school and highschool- but never and I repeat; Never, is anyone permitted to mess with you at all. Because Ram always considers you his, even when you arent together.

So yeah, you always have 2 (Ram, and Kurt) large football star bodyguards at your disposal.

Being very playful together.

SOOOOoooooo much PDA. Including: Making out in the hallways and at school events like football games (You dont care who sees), sitting in his lap or at least squished close to his side at lunch, him throwing you over his shoulder to carry you places, him giving you piggy back rides, him picking you up and twirling you around, him just standing behind you with his arms around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder when he's bored (With everything but you), his arm being over your shoulders as you walk together, you wiping peanut butter on his nose to get a rise out of him and then running away so he'll chase you, you peppering his face with kisses to make him laugh, etc.

Having a turbulent relationship. Because while, when all is well you two are like peanut butter and jelly and seem like the perfect highschool sweethearts, when you arent it's because Ram has gotten really jealous over something and called you a terrible name (Skank, whore, slut, bitch- any of those) or you understandably got irritated by his bullying and/or being a perverted, sexist asshole and you have huge, blow out fights in the middle of school and by the end of the period the whole student body knows about it.

You give him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder after those (If you didnt break up, that is) and he sends Kurt to give you messages.

When you make up its because he sincerely apologises although he doesn't 100% understand what he did wrong which becomes part of the next fight.

As you've been together so very long, he is basically part of your fucking family. He's so familiar and casual with your parent/s and/or sibling/s. They love him so much that, whether you're with him at the time or not, they allow him into the house and your bedroom with a cup of tea and snacks. (Its the 'American dream' popular-boy / football-star thing.)

So yeah, sometimes when you're mad at him or he wants to get back together (Which generally you want to do, to. You honestly have the same biological timer. Its like, 3 weeks pass by of being broken up and then ding ding ding! You both get the feelings its time to get back together and start sharing grins in the hallway and talking to your friends about eachother) you'll just find him waiting for you in your room when you come home.

Hanging out a looooooot with Kurt. Movie nights at your place, hanging out at the mall together on weekends sneaking out to see them at the football field at night time, etc. When you're sad, they'll both turn up wherever you are to cheer you up, too! Goofballs.

This does not mean there arent times where Ram shoo's Kurt off, though, when you two want some alone time together (*Eyebrow wiggles*) because of course. I'm just saying, you're a close-knit group.

When you are alone together, not much changes from when you're around others honestly XD You're still just as playful and affectionate. You just, you know, also have sex.

When he's down, you rusk your graceful image and climb through his bedroom window to be there with him. You dont fuck, you dont even really kiss. You just climb into bed with him and he'll tuck you under his chin and close his eyes. Legit old married couple. And you two sleep- by morning, he usually feels better and refuses to let you get out of bed with him.

"Five more minutessssss, babe!" He whines, holding you against him and pressing kisses to your head. You know he'll just say that again in 5 minutes time- and over, and over, and over again.

"Oh- no. I've been caught in this trap before Ram. We have school, so we have to get up. Come on!" You push firmly at his stomach (or abs) with your fists; not that that does much as he just just groans or gathers your little wrists in one big fist to stop you (Either way he certainly doesn't even flinch). His eyes are still closed. You sigh.

Now you have two choices, you can either give in and snuggle back into him for the rest of the morning, or threaten to send an attack towards his groin and he'll literally fling himself outta bed. Like "OH LOOK AT THE TIME- Kurt's gonna be waiting for us outside. Lets go!"

There are also mornings that you wake up with him (No sad Ram the night before necessary) and are all too happy to stay there with him. You just adorably nod into his chest, eyes still closed and making the cutest half-asleep morning sound when he asks if you wanna stay here a bit longer and he happily pulls the blanket over both your heads; shielding you both from the real world for a while.

OKAY MOVING ON FROM THAT FLUFFINESS.

You are also the only person who has any sort of control over him and Kurt. Like you can take them down a few pegs with just a look.

You two do date other people when you're broken up but its clear to anyone watching that these are just nice place holders for eachother. Neither of you are ever as happy with others as you are with eachother. You're ridiculously in love, actually.

Ypu were the first one to say I Love You, and he immediately called Kurt for guidance XD

Places you've had sex (Because it is always the full monty with Ram): Both your bedrooms so so so many times, the school bathrooms, his car, Kurts car (Kurt was NOT pleased.), the back of the football field, under the bleachers during a game or pep rally (he was benched for being too violent) + under the bleachers during practise + under the bleachers when the football field is deserted, the back of the school, the faculty parking lot at school, Kurts and Heather Chandler's houses (Parties. Basically a Westerburg High party is not complete without Y/N L/N and Ram Sweeney breaking in someones bed), his parent's car, the woods, cow pasture (a picnic blanket was used), and finally some mall changing rooms.

You leave him messages on his answering machine. He listens to every one of them (Which means something because he doesnt listen to anyone elses, unless he's gotta get through them to get to yours).

Him being SUCH a jealous asshole (With everyone except Kurt).

HIM STANDING UP TO THE HEATHERS FOR YOU.

#PromKingAndQueen

Having Kurt "Smartest guy on the football team," Kelly be your (Occasionally, live in- yes, he has slept over with the two of you on the floor so he could break up fights) couples councellor. Often his advice is 'fuck it out' but he also comes up with oddly wise shit sometimes. Mostly he's just very exasperated though. Like, its obvious you two are gonna end up together- stop bothering me with this shit. Let me get some pussy for myself guys please-

You two getting a bit frisky on movie nights with Kurt and he throws stuff at you. He just starts bringing a pool noodle (That he drew an angry face onto) along with him and hitting y'all with it whenever he feels its necessary. Cuz I mean, on one hand, of course he's happy for his bro Ram that he's getting his dick wet, but on the other- ITS FUCKIN MOVIE NIGHT, PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER FOR T W O S E C O N D S (Oh the irony- it does indeed escape him). He'll park his ass right in the middle of you two if you keep it up.

If he had survived, you and Ram would have broken up after graduation and spent college apart, before bumping into each other again back home as new (Improved. Especially him) people that fit together better now and ended up getting back together for good.

[thestarrynightslover]

So Many Times Before

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 3,190

Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst.

Summary: (y/n) and Jay used to be best friends who had always, secretly, wanted more. Now, after years of not seeing each other, what happened to all those feelings? 

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: So, this is my first actual fanfic and I’m quite unsure about it (especially since English isn’t my first language), but I really wanted/needed to give some use to my obsession with Jay Halstead, lol. Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and, please, feel free to give me feedback, cause I’m also here to learn!!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

"So, honey, you are never gonna believe who I saw the other day at the district..." You remember your dad saying, in a conversation that made your heart skip a few beats, weeks ago.

"Oh yeah? Who?" You asked with a soft smile on your lips, not paying much attention at the moment.

"Jay Halstead." He said simply as if just waiting for you to freak out. God, your dad really knew how to make you drop your cool-girl act.

"Oh, that's nice... Wait. What??? Did you say Jay? What was he even doing there? Is he okay? Did he get into some sort of trouble? How can we help?" And there it was, you were totally losing it and your dad just stood there with that smug smirk of his, that says: I knew this was coming.

"Relax, (y/n/n), he’s okay. He was just there to get some files from a case my unit was handing over to them." That would've been a completely acceptable statement if Jay Halstead wasn't still in the army for all you knew.

"Sorry, handing a case over to them?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, apparently that scrawny kid — who's not so scrawny anymore — is, now, a detective working with CPD's Intelligence Unit."

"What? But when did he leave the army?" By then you were drifting off the conversation with your dad and he knew it, so he did you the favor of leaving you alone with your thoughts and memories. 

Now, with the very same (well, not the same, he really wasn't scrawny anymore) Jay Halstead standing right in front of you, that moment with your dad inevitably came back to mind.

"Wow, (y/n) (y/l/n)!" He said with a huge bright smile that made you wanna go back to your high school days, yep the smile was that awesome.

"Jay Halstead. Wows are definitely in order." You said between giggles. "Oh my Gosh, it's been forever! How are you doing?"

"I'm- I'm- I'm good, thank you. How are you?" He looked absolutely shocked as he scanned you upside-down.

"I'm good too. You look great, by the way."

"Thanks," he smiled again. Wasn't he ever gonna stop doing that? "you look, hum, you look great too!" He said that, while looking at you in a way that was, for sure, making your cheeks heat up. "So hum-" Your phone just had to start ringing at that moment, didn't it?

"I'm so sorry, but I gotta take this. Work." You said, waving your phone in front of his face.

"Oh, okay, no problems, go ahead!" Jesus, he was acting like a teenager. After all these years how was it even possible that you still had so much effect on him? He started thinking, as he watched you take a few steps away and confidently boss someone around over the phone, was that really you? His high school best friend? Because who could tell? You were generally so quiet and shy with everyone. You would never lead any groups, almost choked on your words every time you had a presentation... Remembering that made Jay think of a moment in particular, when he first knew he loved you as more than just a friend. 

You were 16 and he was 17, a year ahead of you in school too, as he was already a senior. But you guys never really minded that. How could you, anyway? Jay was your best friend in the world (okay, your only real friend after Will left for college).

The two of you were walking back home from school, as you always did, him dropping you off at your doorstep – even if that meant he had to go back a few blocks every day, all he cared about was making sure you got home safe.

That day was different, though. He stopped you at your house's fence and said he needed to tell you something important. God, your heart literally stopped, as you thought you knew exactly what he was gonna say. "Oh, jay-"

"No, please, (y/n/n). Just let me tell you, otherwise, I'll lose my courage." He stopped for a second, breathing hard and watching your expression attentively. "I, I, um, I need to tell you that… That I, um… That I enlisted the army." He said like he was ripping off a band-aid.

"What???" You were shocked, to say the least, "You did what, Jay?" You asked again, whilst trying to calm your nerves.

"Look, don't be mad at me, just let me explain, please." He pleaded with you. "I just need to get away from here and you know it, (y/n), you know why" You did know why, just, God, the army, seriously?

"Jay, you don't need to do that." You tried reasoning with him.

"Of course I need to, (y/n/n)!" He said and you could see him beginning to get upset. Or was it desperation? "I can't stand him any longer! I just can’t.” Geez, you didn’t want him to go. You definitely didn’t want him to go, but you could see the sadness in his eyes when he said that. Still, you tried a little more: 

“But what about your mom? Your brother? What about me?” You felt yourself blush after that last part, but continued: “Jay you’re really important to me… my best friend, my… my… my only friend! I can’t lose you.”

“And you think that that doesn’t kill me? Will and my mom will be just fine, they’ll miss me, sure, but they’ll be fine. You on the other hand? I don’t wanna leave you! Especially knowing that you’ll have to go through the rest of high school alone…” He looked genuinely apologetic and concerned “That’s why I told you before anyone else.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand.” You stated simply.

“Tell me you don’t want me to go, and I won’t.”

“What? You’d… You’d really do that for me?” 

“Of course, (y/n/n)! You mean the world to me and you’ve gotten me through so much already…” He sounded sincere, but you also knew what led him to make such a drastic move and you couldn’t just let him throw away what was probably his best shot at getting out of Chicago for you. You wouldn’t.

“Jay… I could never ask you something like that. You’re right. I know why you’re making this choice.” You said and tried to smile a little so that he’d stop worrying about you. Your life was better and easier, in many ways, because of him, so you couldn’t or wouldn’t make his any harder than it already was.

“Are you, are you sure? Because I came here ready to argue with you about this. To try hard to make you understand my decision, but now that I’m actually here, talking to you about it…” He looked so confused and you only wish you could pull him close to you and say that everything was gonna be okay as long as you two were together. Just like he did with you on the hard days, but you couldn’t. He deserved better from you.

“I’m sure! Look, I know what I said before, but… But I promise you I’ll survive this without you! It’s gonna be harder and a lot more boring… But I’ll be okay, you don’t need to worry.” At that moment you looked down to your feet, unsure if you really had it in you to let him go like that. But of course you did because you loved him. So you went on, “You said this is how you get outta Chicago, so you should do it. You’re my best friend and I love you. And I really just want you to do what’s best for you. What’ll make you happy.” You said with a small smile, even though the tears were already in your eyes. 

And that was when he knew he loved you, for the first time, as more than just a friend. The way you supported him – like no one else had ever done –, even though it pained you… That really stuck with him. In Jay Halstead’s opinion, time and distance and other people all sucked. Because they had pushed you away from him. Well, he was to blame for that too, but now you were standing right there. At his District. That’s gotta count for something.

As you came back, he noticed you looked upset. “Everything okay?”

“What? Ah, yeah, sure. Just work stuff. Anyways it is a huge surprise to see you, Jay.” That made his heart drop, you were surprised to see him?

“Oh, yeah? I thought the reason you were here was that your dad told you this is where I work. I mean, because we ran into each other the other day…” Now it made sense. Of course your dad would wanna play matchmaker between you Jay! Even more, now that he was a cop.

“Oh, God, he did mention something about you the other day. But you’re telling me that he isn’t here?” At that, Jay just looked at you like you were crazy.

“Today? I haven’t seen him… He works at the 26, no?”

“Yeah, I know he does. It’s just... He told me to meet him here for lunch today. Something about a joint op. Anyways now I know why he said that.” 

“What? He lied to you, then?” Jay asked, laughing his ass off at your cost. Unbelievable, you being played by your cupid father and Jay Halstead laughing at you. He stopped when he realized just how angry you were getting. But the stupid smile was still there.

“Forget it, this was a waste of time.”

“No! Wait, why don’t I take you to lunch instead?” He shot you such a charming smile that you could have said yes to marrying him at that moment. “C’mon, at least you don’t end up with an empty stomach.”

“I gue-” You almost said yes, but, thank God, your brain went back to working properly and you remembered how you promised to never let yourself fall for Jay’s “ways” another time. “Actually, I already spent most of my free hour here chatting with you, so now the only way I won’t be late is if I just grab something on the way back to the office.” You saw him opening his mouth and said: “And I can do that by myself.” You added so that he wouldn’t have a chance at convincing you.

How can Jay Halstead make you feel like this after all this time? It's absolutely ridiculous because the man hurt you the way he did, he left you behind (for a good reason, but still), and you just spent the rest of the day torturing yourself for being too rude with him?

You have no self-love. That has to be it, because, now that you left work, you're calling your dad just to embarrass yourself and make him feel like the achieved cupid. Oh, right. And to beg him for Jay's address. This was the wrong move in so many ways, but you just had to go there.

Or at least that’s what you’re telling yourself as you reach his building entrance. There it was: 3B - J. Halstead. You pressed the button hoping he would be home. He was; he answered. Okay, why did you do this again?

“Hello?” You hear him calling out.

“He- hey! Hum, hi it’s (y/n)...” He doesn’t even let you finish your rambling.

“(y/n/n)! I mean, hum, (y/n). Hey, let me buzz you up!” With that, the door opens and you get inside, you’re so unsure about this that the next thing you know you’re standing at his door about to knock, but being met with a grinny Jay instead. “Hey, I was pretty surprised when I heard your voice…” He states while running a hand through his perfect hair. “I honestly thought that I had somehow managed to order food and forget about it!” Gosh, he really wasn’t gonna stop smiling like that, was he? “Hey, you okay? What happened?”

“Hum, no, no, no! Everything is fine, really! Thank you for asking though, it’s very sweet of yours.” After hearing that, his concerned expression started softening until he started smiling again, damn Jay! “Actually, I’m here precisely because, hum, after I left the District, I ended up doing some thinking and got to the conclusion that I was a bit rude with you… Maybe even more than just a bit and I’m sorry. It’s no excuse, but I guess I just got upset because of how my dad played me and took it out on you! Anyway, it wasn’t right and I’m sorry.” Instead of just saying it was okay, or agreeing with you, he just gave you a funny look and silence. “So, huh, what do you think about that? Say something, please?” Still nothing, unbelievable. “Seriously? You’re giving me the silent treatment? What are we, ten?” Hearing that, he bursted into laughter, leaving you very confused, to say the least. Once he caught his breath, he finally started talking:

“Jesus, (y/n)! Of course, I’m not giving you a silent treatment!” He said while shaking his head and still laughing. “You say you were rude, but I was trying to remember exactly when, during our less than five minutes talk, that happened. I kinda asked you out and you declined, I’m not gonna think you’re a bad person because of that! Especially after all of our history…” That kinda surprised you, but, then again, Jay was never the kind of guy to get upset over some mild rudeness.

“Ah…” Was all you managed to say before he spoke again:

“But, since you’re already here, let me pry on your guilt a little and ask you to come inside for a beer, maybe?” You nodded your head giggling and followed him inside. “So, um, your dad mentioned you were moving back here…” He half asked, handing you a bottle.

“Thanks. Ah, yeah, the company I work for decided it was time for a transfer.” You answered with a shrug of shoulders.

“Oh I see, you’re an engineer, right?” The conversation was beginning to get awkward, and both of you could feel it.

“Yeah,” you said while calculating how fast you could make it to the door after standing up from the couch, “chemical engineer, listen, it’s getting late, and I have an early morning tomorrow, so-” 

“Wait, please don’t leave just yet.” He breathed out, softly grabbing you by the arm. “Ever since our fight that day I’ve been hoping for a chance to make things right between us, (y/n/n)...” At that, you just close your eyes and rub your fingers against your temples. “I never meant to hurt you, I swear!” Really? That was what he was going with?

“You never meant to hurt me? I crossed the Atlantic just to be by your side, leaving a lot of important stuff behind, and you didn’t wait a single moment to trade me for the first cover girl you could find, but you didn’t mean to hurt me?” You always thought you’d start crying if you had to confront him like that, but instead, you were just angry.

“(y/n/n), I’m so sorry! It’s just that I couldn’t be with you at that moment... I-”

“You couldn’t be with me? Right, because I wasn’t half of what they were… It’s not like you’re telling me anything new, really.” You tried to make it sound like nothing but, damn, that hurt deep.

“What? No, of course, not! You got it all wrong, baby!” Baby. He used the pet name you two sometimes used with each other to mock all those popular couples in school… “I couldn’t be with you because I was so messed up! I’m not proud to say it, but none of those girls ever meant anything to me! They were just a distraction from everything that was happening, from everything that had happened… You, on the other hand… (y/n/n), you were there at my mom’s funeral when I wasn’t! Don’t think I forgot about it!” His eyes softened a little. “You were my best friend in the world!”

“Oh my God! You still don’t get it? I didn’t want to be just your best friend, Jay! I spent most of my high school days just wondering when you were gonna trade me, your mere friend, for one of those pretty girls, who would happily be more than that to you… But you never did… Until that time! I was expecting to find you messed up! Because I knew that I wasn’t gonna give up until you got better! But, that?” Now there was just no stopping the tears that were rolling down your cheeks. He was on the verge of crying as well, so the two of you just stayed there in silence until he decided to speak again:

“I’m a complete idiot. That’s all I can say for myself. I’m so sorry I never realized it, (y/n)!” He seemed sincerely sorry, but you weren’t sure you could forgive him just yet. “You know,” he started, while laughing bitterly, “I made a real fool of myself with you, cause I used to dream about having a shot with you, romantically, I mean.” After hearing that, your jaw literally dropped, while Jay just kept laughing lightly. “Will even used to bug me about it, he’d say that you were just as fallen for me as I was for you,” he said, chuckling, and shaking his head, “and I never believed him, I’d actually beg him to stop saying those things whenever you were around because I thought it could make you uncomfortable…” You didn’t even know how to respond to that.

“Jay, I…” You began, but he interrupted you:

“You, um, you don’t need to say anything, if you don’t want to. Now I see that I hurt you a lot more than I thought I did, and I am so sorry! I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t, so if you ever feel like you can give me another chance, even if just at our friendship, I’ll be so thankful! The happiest man! But if not, well, I’ll just stay out of your life,” you could see how hurt he was, “because I don’t ever wanna make you cry again.” He said that but it looked like he was the one about to break into tears, so you did the one thing you could think about doing; you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him. Just like you had thought about doing so many times before. It took him a while to correspond since he was sort of stunned, but when he did… Oh boy, it was everything that books always told you about, there were butterflies and fireworks, and you knew that your transfer back home couldn’t have come at a better time.

[wouldduskwood]

Descendants of Despair Part 10

Duskwood - JakexMC fanfic

Contains references to drugs, prostitution and rape

Note: Much of this fictional backstory is improbable but was needed to give depth to the MC character (intelligence, street smarts/survival skills, manipulation and trust issues) - to make her reactions more understandable and leads on to explain other details later.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I paused for a second, staring into the distance as memories consumed me. I shook my head a couple of times, sighed and glanced at Jake. He had become mesmerized but when he saw me looking he lowered his gaze. “So, once I was capable enough at reading and writing I took myself to the library most days. I knew if I was ever going to get off the street I would need to know more. I taught myself more with books and eventually made my way up to computers. I taught myself a lot of foundation skills...which isn’t at all impressive compared to what you can do...but it is also where I learnt a skill that came in handy with helping to try and find Hannah. I people watched. Chat rooms and such were just becoming a big thing so I covertly watched what people were typing while keeping an eye on their non verbal signals. I began to see nuances between the language people used when they were visibly lying and the language they used when they were telling the truth. It became a fascination of mine...people watching. I think I did it pretty much every day...even while with the little old lady. I justified it as a means of keeping myself safe. I needed to recognise subtle changes in behaviour, mood, language, anything that might signal danger. I guess it was something along the lines of fight, flight or freeze. I needed it as a safety net.” I paused again, glanced at Jake to see if he was still with me, then carried on with my story.

“Sometime during all of this, I recognised I needed to get into school if I had any hope of ever making it. I found an application form online to the local primary school. I knew I needed a parent or caregiver signature. I guess this was the first time I ever manipulated someone into doing something for me. I am not proud of it, but I guessed my caregiver would get me into school if I had some way of providing her with alcohol. I know now how wrong that was. She was old and had a real problem and I took advantage of that to gain access to school. I guess that makes me some sort of monster…” I paused, glancing again at Jake, genuinely concerned that he would make that same assumption but instead his features had softened and he whispered “You were a kid, a smart kid that needed help...don’t feel guilty about that.” 

I was stunned. He had erased all my fears with those few words. I smiled gratefully and heard Jake take a small breath in response. “So, I knew I would never be able to get into the bottle store, whether to buy or to steal. I hung around it a bit, people watching again. I knew money was going to be an issue as well. I decided the best thing to do was...well take advantage of the fact I was a kid. I found I could shower at the indoor bus shelter and I made attempts to make myself more approachable. I took my companion with me and then found us a spot with high foot traffic. I played the innocent kid factor. I sang childish songs and spoke with a lisp when I thought it would get us a bit of money. Sure enough, my tactic worked and she was able to buy herself a bottle of alcohol in exchange for signing me into school. The hard part was pretty much over. The school funded my education...I became a bit of a novelty. The kid from the streets that began school and was already able to read. At first they tried hooking me up with accommodation through the school and foster care….but my distrust was too much. I refused, or ran away every time I was placed. The school eventually turned a blind eye but helped with funding simple clothes for school, school lunches and the stationery I needed to succeed.” I paused again, taking a deep breath. 

“I haven’t actually spoken this much...ever...and not about anything like this…” I admitted with my head down. Warmth coursed through my arm as I felt Jake’s hand. I looked up in shock. “You don’t have to continue...I mean...I want you to...but I get why you might not want to continue…” Jake declared sincerely. I smiled weakly. “I want to continue. I don’t know why I want to...but I do.” I sat back up and was disappointed when the warmth of Jake’s hand disappeared from my arm. I touched the place where his hand had been and frowned, deep in thought about my feelings for him for a moment. A gentle cough brought me back to reality and I cringed, embarrassed. “Uh, right..so I made my way through Primary school. I had a passion for learning that the other kids didn’t so I was usually ostracised. I think the reason why was because I knew my future depended on it. Every day I made my way to school, every afternoon I would scrounge around for a safe place to sleep. I still needed my companion every now and then, but she never really thought about me when I was gone. She did show some appreciation when I turned up. I guess, in a way, it worked for us. When I got to the age of going off to high school, I had to play my scheme again to get in and for funding. This was now a lot harder to do. I wasn’t this cute and small kid anymore. I didn’t want to get into the trap that I saw many others do...prostitution and drugs were serious problems with many foster kids and rape was a common occurance on the streets. It was a precarious line between safety and...well...the alternative…” I sighed deeply.

Part 11

[finalgirlbuffysummers]

okay here it is. The rest is below the cut.

You would think that living on a Hellmouth made the nightmares worse. That every night would be screaming torment, but really, the hollow earth below never really prowled the dreams of its lesser citizens. Sure, the vampires and their teeth made appearances, dead classmates, the prickling curent of the wind, but waking up and knowing your neighbor heard the same bump in the night, knowing you survived to see the sun: that’s your bitter reward. Your comfort. It’s normal here, perched on the lip above the sharpest tooth.  

No, the nightmares get worse ten years down the line. You’re out of highschool. You wake up alone. You wake up in a city that doesn't understand you, strangers who want to prescribe you medicine or tell you to mediate. So you end up alone, and you know alone is how they like you. You’re not sure if demons lurk in your new city. You thought once that a man standing on the corner lit his cigarette with massive purple claws, and you ran, your feet echoing like gunshots through the streets. 

You never did learn to shoot a gun. You keep it in your nightstand drawer, but you know it wouldn't stop anything that's followed you out of California, out of Sunnydale. Once, you had a girlfriend. Rummaging around for a hair tie she discovered your small handgun, your safety blanket. She picked it up with her forefinger and her thumb, like it was filthy, like she didn't understand. “Why do you keep one of these awful things?” You couldn't answer her.

There's no girlfriend now. No one to make you coffee in the morning, no one to rub your back when you wake up with the feeling of teeth in your throat, tight grips on your ankles. She got tired of you, you poor, novel thing from the west. 

So it's been weeks. So it's been grocery shopping at 3am, staring at the wilting vegetables, trying to stay out of your apartment. It's been staying longer at the museum you work at. No, you don’t work there just to read the old books for some kind of answer, you lie. At your highschool, there was a librarian who kept swords. You think about sending him an email: Hey, Mr. Giles, do you sleep at night? Does it get easier? Where might I acquire a sword such as yours? You draft hundreds before you realize you have no idea where to send them. 

Your classmates don't keep in touch. there is no Facebook group, there is no reunion. There can’t be: Sunnydale is no more. It collapsed in itself. This should be comforting: but all you can think of is the beasts who crawled out of the pit, who remember the stink of your fear. Some folks stayed local, moving just a town over, the low thrum from the throat of hell enough the lull them into a stupid haze of breakfast, lunch, and getting eaten for dinner. The rest left. There are two hundred, give or take, Sunnydale immigrants scattered around the country, waking up alone. Waking up with a gun in their hands. Waking up dead. Your school newspaper had an obituary page. The boy who ran it wrote well, you thought, if cynical. Who the hell can blame him? Mr. Giles, you write. How come it didn't get us? Why are we still left? Mr. Giles, can you tell me if it's following us?

Last week a friend of a friend called you to say Dennis had died. Dennis… you remember now. He was the lead singer in that band, what was it? Something about Dingoes. You ask how he died. Sunnydale habits: You keep an ear out for the signs. The friend says, puncture wounds, on the neck. Police suspect it was inflicted by a barbeque fork. You drop the phone. You sharpen stakes, get splinters in your palms. Buy crucifixes by the dozen. More than once, you’ve slept in a church pew, under the painted ceiling. At work, your boss asks with some concern about the dark circles under your eyes. Long night, you say. You are starting to hate this city. In this city, there’s no hero.

Yes, you remember her. You know everyone else does, too. Buffy. One time, you saw her sparring with the librarian. No swords, just fists. Another time, she crawled out of your biology classroom window at the arrival of a dark haired girl who blew her kisses. One time, she slammed the computer science teacher against her own desk. Wacky shit. You knew, though. That Sunnydale High had to be the safest place in town because of her. She killed things, probably. Definitely. Then she left. Sometimes, there are whispers: “I heard Buffy’s in Rome.” “I heard she lives in a castle.” “I heard she’s dead.” God, please, no. After every long night, you pray she still lives. That she hasn't let her guard down. It's midnight. You draft another email. Mr. Giles. Buffy’s still alive, right? Please tell me she’s okay. People keep dying, Mr. Giles, and we’re not even in Sunnydale anymore. Can you tell me what happened there? Why can't I stop dreaming about the destroyed graves of everyone who died? Can you tell me anything at all? Mr. Giles, Dennis is dead. Oz’s friend. I hope Oz is alive, too. I hope you’re alive. I hope you’re well. Take care. This time, you call a colleague in London. You track down Gile’s email through a stroke of luck, and you hit send. You don’t hear back at all. 

Three months later, you receive a response. You’d almost forgotten about the message you sent. Your museum opened a new and successful gallery You received a promotion. You’ve been successful. (Yes, you’re even sleeping more. Shh, don’t say it too loud). You open the email.

Greetings and glad to hear from you- it’s wonderful to hear from old students. I do hope you’re well.

There is no easy way to answer these emails. Yes, you're not the only one who’s managed to reach me. I won’t disclose my location, or hers, but I can tell you that Buffy is safe, and alive, and I think she’s happy. She’s been happy for a while. I’ll tell her you asked, she likes to know that old classmates are doing well. Yes, Oz is alive. He’s been in Tibet for some time, though we do hear from him on occasion. He heard about Denis’s passing. Truly a tragedy. 

I’m quite pleased to hear you’ve entered museum studies: a deeply satisfying and enriching work. I hope that you are finding enough answers with it. I know that living on- Well, where we lived is disorienting, confusing. I’ll try to answer you as best I can. 

The swords I kept in the library (do never tell anyone I did that) I received as a present form a collector friend, who is long dead and whose collection is long scattered. The rest of the blade I received from my employers. I do not recommend keeping swords in your home as a safety measure. Invest in a good lock. Invest in protection charms found in books of the dark arts. I checked: your museum has some in collection. (Since you are emailing me, I can only guess that you’ve accepted explanations beyond those from the metaphysical realm).

I do sleep at night, thank you for asking.  It gets easier. I don’t say this just because I’ve put an ocean between myself and Sunnydale, no: time does heal. It helps that I’m with people who understand. It helps to name the thing in the dark. I’ll put you in contact with a colleague of mine- he’s in your museum network- and you can begin to build yourself a circle, if you wish. 

There is no reason that we live, my friend. There's no reason why any of our friends died. Your life is not a curse, I can promise you that. This isn’t borrowed time.

If you were being followed it would have gotten you by now. I apologize for my bluntness.

Oh, the ageless question of what happened. All the time in the world and I couldn’t give you a satisfactory answer. What would I say? That vampires haunt the sunniest part of California? That hell is real, and it can speak? I believe you already know the outline. What I can comfort you on is that yes. There are people who find evil, and they stop it. They haven't gone away. But that's not the point: don’t worry about them. Sunnydale is gone, dear student. It’s up to you to name the thing in the dark, keep it at bay. Be watchful, be wise. The world is bigger than most people know. 

Sincerely,

Rupert Giles

You close your laptop. You stretch your legs. You go into the bedroom to retrieve the handgun, then place it on the kitchen counter.  You stare at it. It doesn't move. You stare. The apartment is still, like the city is holding it in its throat. The clock strikes 4 am. It’s just a clock. It's just a gun. In your apartment, you’re just you, waiting for the sun to rise.

END

[19tozier]

wish you were sober pt. two (richie tozier)

part two of this imagine

warnings: swearing, angst w/ a happy ending

[losers + reader are 16+]

as much as you wish it didn’t, that night after the party changes everything.

you don’t really know what to do with yourself. your heart aches to believe what richie said, but the larger part of you knows he was just drunk. he’s been your best friend for years, there’s no way that he actually likes you, let alone loves you. you just need to forget about it.

you don’t really know what to do about it, though. the logical part of you says it would probably be best to avoid richie for a while, at least until your feelings settle down again, but you’re not strong enough to do that. you’ve never gone longer than the weekend without seeing him; you don’t think you’d survive not having him within arm’s length.

but still, your blood burns whenever he’s close, so almost without you realizing it, you put distance between the two of you. not much, not enough to ruin your friendship, but enough to be noticeable. always at least one loser between you at all times, never being alone with him, talking to him really only when there are other people around. you know he has to have noticed and you feel guilty as hell to hurt him like this, but you’re slowly dying and he has no fucking clue.

you do, however, notice when sandy stops eating lunch with all of you. you notice when his jean jacket stretches over his own shoulders again. and you notice how no new girl shows up under his arm. you notice it all, and it makes you think.

hope is a dangerous thing. it can kill you if you’re not careful.

you think you’re doing a pretty good job of it, all things considered; you still laugh at richie’s jokes, you still banter with him over mundane topics, you still team up with him to rag on any of the other losers. you’ve always believed yourself to be a bad friend because of your feelings, betraying his trust and his privacy by being so in love with him. you’re certain you’re obvious because sometimes you feel like your love for him is bursting out of your skin, but you’ve never admitted it in as many words. you’ve never told anyone about your feelings for him, not even bev or stan. it is a secret you intend to take to your grave.

you only realize you’re wrong when the tension between you and richie explodes.

it starts at lunch one day. you’re all sat around your usual table, being as rowdy and out-of-control as all of you typically are. you’re sitting in between bill and bev, laughing at the story eddie tells, consciously keeping your eyes away from richie. any time you look at him, you can’t pull your eyes away because of how beautiful he is.

still, you’re only so strong, and when eddie gets distracted by bill asking him a question, your eyes flick to richie’s face. you jump when you find him already looking back at you.

he raises an eyebrow at you, a cheeky grin spread across his mouth. he’s got his hair pulled back in a bun today, a few unruly curls spilling out against his cheekbones in a way that’s unfairly attractive. you’re stricken by it, especially when he drops his eyelid in a wink. it’s so hot, you want to climb him like a tree and kiss him—

you jerk, ripping your gaze away from him. you desperately refocus on eddie, ignoring the way bev nudges you. your cheeks are flaming, something hot traveling through your chest and down your arms. you can feel richie’s gaze still on you, prickling and too perceptive. you feel flayed out under it, like he will be able to read your love for him in every line of your face.

you very carefully do not look at richie for the rest of lunch.

you almost think you’ve gotten away with it. richie doesn’t try to catch your attention again, and when the bell rings you book it out of the cafeteria before he can try and talk to you. you don’t share any classes together after lunch, and you think you can probably avoid him after school too if you pretend to talk to one of your teachers. you’re fine. it’s fine. you can do this.

you’re still thinking about it when you take your customary trip to the bathroom, the way you always do sometime during fifth period. it’s less actually having to go to the bathroom and more needing to get out of class, still jittery from lunch but starting to crash and burn out from the school day.

you’re swinging the hall pass around your finger, humming to yourself as you take the long way around, when you pass by the janitor’s closet and feel a hand wrap around your wrist to yank you in.

you squeak in surprise, your heart in your throat, before anger takes over and you whirl on who grabbed you. you can’t see in the dark of the closet but that doesn’t matter. “what the hell? not funny, asshole, who do you think you—”

the chain for the light is pulled. your words die in your throat when you find yourself looking up into richie’s face, his jaw tensed and his eyes dark.

“who do i think i am?” richie prompts when you don’t finish, glaring down at you. his arms are crossed over his chest. “well let’s see, who am i? maybe your best fucking friend who you’ve been avoiding? yeah, that sounds about right, doesn’t it?”

you gape at him, your brain still struggling to make sense of what’s going on. your voice is weak when you mumble, “i‘m not avoiding you.”

“bull-fucking-shit,” he sneers. “you’ve been avoiding me for like, two weeks now. the only reason we’re talking right now is because i pulled you in here, because if i’d have asked to talk you would’ve just blown me off.”

he’s not wrong; you probably would have. still, you blink at him, your eyebrows furrowing. “how did you know i’d be walking by?”

he glares at you, like he’s furious that’s what you’re focusing on instead of what he’s saying. “you always go to the bathroom during fifth period. you had to walk by eventually.”

slowly, the confusion fogging your brain is clearing, giving you the space you need to throw up your defenses. deflect, you tell yourself. “so what, you decided the best course of action was to skip class and wait for me in a janitor’s closet? you couldn’t have thought of literally anything else?”

“i tried!” he growls, his voice rising in volume. “i tried to talk to you about it last week and you just made some excuse and fucking left! you won’t even look at me, toots, so what the fuck else was i supposed to do?”

“not wait in a dingy ass closet?” you bite back, rising up to your full height. it’s not much, not compared to his, but it makes you feel more powerful anyways. “do you ever listen to eddie when he talks about germs?”

richie ignores you, taking a step closer to you. you mirror that step backwards. “you’ve been avoiding me since that party,” he says like you haven’t even spoken, “so something had to have happened then but i don’t remember anything about—”

anger erupts inside your chest, spilling white-hot through your veins and making your hands tremble at your sides. “that’s the fucking problem, richie,” you interrupt him, your voice cold. “you were wasted and you don’t remember anything.”

he blinks at you, his shoulders tensing slightly. “so something did happen then. what the hell was it?”

all at once you are so sick of this conversation. you wish you could go back in time and not go to the bathroom today. you wish you could go back and not have gone to that party. you wish you could go back and never have met richie. you don’t really mean that, you know you don’t, but in this moment you are so hurt and so tired that you do. you feel tears prick at your eyes.

“nothing,” you say, working to keep your voice cold and not let your exhaustion creep into it. “i’m going back to class.”

you reach for the door handle, intent on getting as far from here as you can, but richie presses his hand to the door to keep you from leaving. you glare at him, tugging fruitlessly at the handle, irrationally furious over the strength of his fucking noodle arms.

“nuh uh, we’re not done talking yet,” he snaps, his eyes sparking hotly. “what happened at the party?”

“nothing happened at the party,” you nearly snarl. it’s true, after all; nothing had happened at the party. it was only when you took him home that he had said what he did.

richie growls, stepping closer again. you take another step backwards, your back hitting the door. he’s so close now you can see the circle of brown in his left eye. “stop fucking lying, (y/n). tell me what fucking happened.”

the heat rising from his skin sets you on fire, the scent of his cologne making your head foggy and adding to the blaze of your anger. it rises and rises inside of you, quickening the pace of your heart and making your stomach clench, before finally, with the suddenness of a rubber band snapping, you can’t hold it in anymore.

“fine! you wanna know what fucking happened?” you hiss, jabbing a finger into his sternum. “i drove your sorry ass home and got you into bed and you fucking told me you wished i was your girlfriend instead of sandy.”

his brow furrows, his nose scrunching slightly as he stares down at you. “that’s it?” he asks. you nearly start screaming before he continues, “you’re mad at me because i told you the truth?”

abruptly, you’re even more angry. richie’s never been a cruel or even a mean person, but this feels like he is willingly tearing you apart. sure, he could be an asshole, but you’d never thought he would make jokes like this at your expense, nor that he wouldn’t know where to draw the line. part of you wants to punch him and part of you wants to cry.

you settle for scowling at him. “stop fucking teasing me, richie, it’s not funny.”

he rolls his eyes at you, frowning. “who said i was joking? (y/n), you’re fucking oblivious if you think i haven’t been in love with you since before we even fucking met. sure, probably shouldn’t have admitted that while i was drunk, but guess i just needed some liquid encouragement.”

his words draw you up short. he looks so sincere but you’re hesitant to believe him, certain it’s a joke. things like this don’t work out for you. you don’t get to have the cliche fairytale moments. you’re certain he’s going to laugh and yell how he’d gotten off a good one, but as the seconds tick by he just watches your face, not even trying to fill the silence that is steadily growing thicker. his expression doesn’t shift from the vulnerable earnestness it had settled into.

finally, you manage to shakily murmur, “but what about all of those girls?”

he sighs, carding a rough hand through his curls. “just a distraction. they were fun and all, but they weren’t you, doll. you’re my best girl. no one could ever compare to you.”

“and you’re not—” your voice cracks. you stop, clear your throat. try again. “you’re not joking?”

the smile that spreads across his mouth is soft, sweet, a little bit shy. the way you are suddenly realizing he has never looked with anyone other than you. “no, sugar,” he murmurs. “i am absolutely, 100% not joking.”

your breath stutters out of you, your shoulders slumping against the door. you have emotional whiplash from the past several minutes, abruptly exhausted over what is one of the most insane experiences you have ever had. and you’d bashed in the skull of a murderous demon clown at thirteen. part of you doesn’t think this is real, but if it’s not, may as well take advantage of the dream.

“hey rich?” you whisper, reaching out to touch his ribs. he shudders.

“yeah, doll?” he murmurs roughly.

you smile up at him, brushing your thumbs along his waist. “kiss me?”

he smiles back, reaching to tuck your hair behind your ear. “don’t mind if i do.”

he kisses the laughter right out of your mouth, getting close enough to press you back against the door with the bulk of his body. his hands slide around your hips, his teeth catching around your lower lip, and he whines when you reach up to tangle your fingers in his hair. his mouth tastes like the mint gum he likes to chew and the smell of him is dizzying up close, you think you might drown in it—

the sound of the bell breaks you apart, both of your chests heaving and your lips swollen. you stare up at him for a moment before you both burst into giggles.

“fuck, i love you,” he beams, kissing you again.

you grin back, brushing your thumb along his cheek. “i love you too, tozier.”

his expression goes so soft it hurts to look at, but you can’t look away. he shakes his head, still smiling. “do you wanna ditch the rest of the day and go get milkshakes with me, baby?”

you nod, slipping your hand into his when he offers it to you. “i would like nothing more, rich.”

[johnkrrasinski]

𝐄𝐱𝐢𝐥𝐞

Chapter 1: You Were My Town

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: Dark!Steve Rogers (in future chapters) x Reader 

Word Count: 2,061

Summary: Steve Rogers; a Hollywood A-lister and your clandestine occasional hookup. Best friends since childhood, but people change and friendships fall out. Now you were merely strangers with benefits. What happens when one day you stopped being his doormat to be a better man’s queen? The selfish Steve Rogers would not like it. How far is he willing to go to get his favorite possession back?

Warnings: smut, non-con/dub-con, dark Steve (in later chapter), angst, Steve Rogers is an asshole in this one, no redeeming qualities. (MUST BE 18+) 

A/N: first chapter is finally here!! this series is dedicated to the lovely @belovedcherry​ who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for being a friend when i truly needed it. i’m really glad that you trusted me to write this story for you. with all my heart, i sincerely hope you like it. this series will be updated everyday, there will be 4 more chapters ahead. 

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: New Couple Alert! Steve Rogers and a blondie bombshell can’t keep their hands off each other! The headline verbalized.

The notorious heartthrob was spotted leaving The Ritz-Calton Hotel in Los Angeles around 2 AM with Spanish model, Alondra Ondiviela, 28, who looked stunning in a salmon sports bra and black overall, as she walked hand-in-hand with Dusk and Dawn star, Steve Rogers.

Steve Rogers was last linked to Blade in Deep actress, Anne Amorós back in early spring this year but had reportedly split after only two months dating.

Steve Rogers has been previously linked to many gorgeous models in the past, earning him the infamous title of ‘Hollywood’s favourite ladykiller.’ Will Alondra Ondiviela be the one to finally make Steve Rogers settle down and give up his womanizer ways? Placing our bets on how long this couple is going to last!

You closed the tab on your browser as you sighed defeatedly on your couch. You laid your head back on the headrest as you shut your eyes and folded your arms against your chest. Just how many more gossip articles can you endure?

Steve Rogers was your childhood best friend and… Perhaps the only man you had ever truly loved. You knew it was nothing but sheer naivety for you to concede that. You knew it was cruel and inequitable to your heart, but, you still held on to that tiny glimpse of hope that someday, things will change. He will change. Despite all the shit he had put you through, you couldn’t abnegate yourself from him. He always lured you back in with his sweet words and sinful lips whenever you try to expel him from your door.

It wasn’t always like this. Back in kindergarten, Steve used to be this good, shy, scrawny kid who had a blistering passion for art. He was always very twitterpated by watching live shows on stage. When you were kids, Steve would try to sneak both of you into the theatre when the lights were out. Steve didn’t grow up in a very lucky family. His abusive father abandoned his mother when he was only four years old, and since then, his mom had been working tirelessly to keep a roof over their heads and fill in their fridge with food.

You, on the other hand, were a little luckier than him. Your parents had decent jobs that paid the bills well enough to survive. Whenever Steve was short in cash, you would always offer him a little bit of your pocket money or your meal. You would even offer to buy tickets for both of you so you didn’t have to sneak in and could actually get good seats. But he would always say, “well, where’s the fun in that?”

So you’d drop the topic and go along with whatever deceitful ways he had in mind. After all, he was your best friend and you trusted him. You’d rather choose the thrill of bootleg games than waiting ten minutes early before the show starts anyway. But you remember it vividly under the aura of those stage lightings and when the actors were personifying in their larger-than-life costumes, he would be so mesmerized by the show before him that sometimes he wouldn’t even say a word to you at all until it was over.

Before you went home, he and you would walk to the nearest burger place, where you would eat under the polychromatic neon sign and he would tell you, “someday, I’m going to my face on the big screen or one of those giant stages and I would make my mom proud!” he cheered. And you’d always encourage him, “…and I’ll be there to watch and clap for you in the audience.”

Rest in peace, to your naïve bravado… Little did you know, his dream was going to be your doom.

You remained closed friends as you grew up; going to the same school, sharing a few classes together, until, in high school, things began to change. He began to join auditions and taking art classes and extracurriculars. He became busier and busier every day to the point where he could only hang out with you on the weekends. That is when he absolutely had no rehearsals or he wasn’t too worn out from a week full of activities.

You also noticed the different manner and shift of inflexion when you two hung out. All he would talk about is the ‘clique’ of popular boys in school had asked him to sit with them at lunch and how the popular girls would start preening at him when he walked down the hallway. It was as if by partaking in these arts clubs, it gave him a VIP member card to get access into sitting with at exclusive spots and it upgraded his status.

He changed his looks as well, by going to the gym more often and eating more so that he would gain some muscles. He began dressing like one of those jocks and he would begin throwing in some flirtatious comments to those popular girls when they were around.

Eventually, he and you began to grow apart. It got worse when he started dating one of the popular girls, Janet, and he would ditch you even on weekends despite all the plans you had made weeks prior.

“I can’t hang out today, y/n. Janet’s parents are out of town and I think we are going to hook up in her giant pool!”

“But what about the movie that we planned to see together today? I thought you had been anticipating for it since a year ago?”

“I know, but can we just postpone it? It’s not like they are going to take it out tomorrow! We could still see it next weekend.”

“Well, we’ve bought the tickets, Steve.”

“Ah, shit, alright, I’ll just pay back the money, okay? How much are those tickets?”

“No, it’s fine, Steve. Don’t worry about it.”

“Really? You sure, y/n?”

“Yeah, I’ll just ask my mom or maybe Wanda to go see it with me. Don’t want those spoilers on the internet ruining it for me.” You chuckled hollowly. Disappointment filled up your heart but you pretended like it was alright, anyway. If Steve wanted to spend time with his girlfriend then, you had no right to stop him and force him to hang out with you.

“Ah, got it. Thanks, y/n. You’re the best!” and then the frozen seconds on the screen showed that he had ended the call.

The phone calls and text messages began to dwindle. You would often try to text or call him first but it would go to voicemail and or you would be left on read. When you were at school, Steve completely stopped hanging around you. He would rather be with his new ‘friends’ now. And he was too occupied with making out with Janet to notice you as you both walk past each other in the hall.

Wanda was your most trusted confidant and she knew about all the feelings you caged inside you for Steve. She would always be there for you when you cry over him and she would always encourage you to move on and stop trying to reach him. “You deserve so much better than this, y/n. Why would you ruin yourself for an asshole like him?”

Curse your adamant heart for refusing to listen to Wanda and take her advice. In the bottom of your heart, you knew that Wanda was right. You deserved so much better than what Steve had turned you into. You used to be this bright-eyed, rose-coloured heart person who saw your future in a radiant lustre. You were always drawn to helping people out. You used to think that maybe you’d end up being a nurse or a school counsellor, but as you grew older, gradually, you realized that there is far way more pernicious malady than physical ones.

Like the wound in your heart that Steve keeps tapping on every time he acts like he didn’t know you or he left another call or text unanswered. Every time he posted pictures of him and Janet, or him and ‘the boys’ who would walk around the school as they owned it. You had always dreaded those boys. You knew they were bad news and you didn’t want to be associated with them under any circumstances. You and Steve used to make fun of them, how much of a loser they are and how negligent they are toward their grades. But who would’ve known that Steve would turn into his own worst abomination?

Eventually, like all good (and bad) things, they must come to an end. You graduated with a 3.8 GPA and you were proud of yourself for all those times you spent being at home to do your homework and study until around 2 AM.

You were happy; you were satisfied with your grades, your parents were there, cheering for you in the audience and taking countless pictures of you when you walked on stage, and you could finally move forward to the next stage of your life. But something was missing.

“Gosh, I can’t wait to finally graduate.” He scanned the paper with a mark that mocked him in big bold red as he sat at the edge of your twin-sized bed. You had just returned from school and you had received the result of your Math tests. You luckily got a B+ but clearly, Steve didn’t acquire the same latter.

“C’mon, it’s just one bad test. It doesn’t mean that your life is over.”

“I know but, I don’t like seeing a C+ on my test, y/n. It makes me feel inadequate. Besides, I need a solid 3.7 GPA in order to get into NYU. Otherwise, I wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Stop being so dramatic, you still have what it takes. You just need to do a lot better in the next one.”

“Yeah, I’m really gonna have to work my ass off though. Math has never been my strongest suit.”

“Neither it’s mine, but you know what? Someday we’ll wear our graduation hat and this wouldn’t even matter. You’d probably forget that you’ve ever had a C in your high school year.”

You recalled those times where Steve would endlessly talk about graduating and what would happen when both of you go on separate ways. He would tell you “don’t be silly. We’ll always be best friends even if we go to different universities. It’s not like we don’t have a phone, y/n.”

You always imagined that on your graduation day, you both would celebrate it together but of course, those dreams have long perished. Steve didn’t even have a smile on his face when your name was being announced.

He was supposed to be there, standing right next to you and engulf you in a warm, giant hug. The one that he used to give on your birthdays. But no, now, you could only watch him from several feet away farther than you both used to be. You could only hear his echoing laugh as he high-fived the boys and twirl Janet around up in the air like the happy ending in your favourite Rom-Com movies.

That should be me. Your heart cry mourned for the memories and the fractured promises. It was like there was this colossal fortress between the two of you and while you were fighting to climb it to reach him, he, on the other hand, didn’t even have the patience to wait for you.

It’s okay though. At least you had your parents and Wanda and her parents and twin brother, Pietro who adorned this special day distracting you away from the anguish of missing Steve. You were going to spend this entire day with the people who truly loved you and you loved just as equal before you had to leave for the new phases of your own lives.

You will finally move to your college dorm, have yourself a roommate, and invest your time and energy in something that you knew you were always meant to do and it excites you that your journey of helping people will start soon.

And Steve Rogers will be nothing but a consigned to oblivion memory that will sink like a battleship beneath the waves.

At least for now.

[anxiouslyfred]

Ear Defenders

Summary: Since his parents kicked him out Remus has feared being rejected by his soulmate, despite anything Roman or his soulmate can say. After all, what else could follow words like "Dudes, if you were any louder I'd be putting my ear defenders on just to get past.” 

AN: I don’t think there’s any warnings needed beyond food mentions, but let me know and I’ll try to remember.

Ships: Dukexiety, background Roceit

/\/\/\/\

Remus had faced rejection all his life. His fascination with injuries was morbid and obsession with butts disgusting; He'd heard it all. Sometimes people would claim it was to do with personal hygiene or the insane attention seeking he did, but Remus was never seeking attention, just doing the things he thought would bring joy in the moment.

For years it was fine that people left him behind. He could make new friends and would someday meet his soulmate who put the words on his wrist from their first future meeting. The universe had promised him he wouldn't see everyone leave. Even Roman believed in that, no matter how much they argued about his inability to quietly fit in at school.

Then their parents kicked him out the day he turned twenty with parting words harsh enough to shake his faith to the core. “You're so immature we doubt even your soulmate will stick around beyond your first words.” The yelling and arguments Roman came out with then and would lecture about anytime the day came up ever after couldn't stop his fear of being rejected forming, but at least it sustained the confidence to be himself that Remus had always carried and for a month tried to ignore and suppress.

With each friend he lost and co-worker who ignored him, Remus's fear grew, after all if these people who didn't have such a lifetime connection didn't give him a chance for 5 minutes why would someone whose first words would be complaining about the noise do so?

Roman did stick around, insisting on it and joining in with some of Remus's ideas. Occasionally he, or his soulmate when they met, would try to tame them enough to be safer but it felt like an empty comfort to have peace with the brother he used to war with. Despite all of Roman's and Janus's attempts they couldn't return the faith lost about his soulmates abandonment. No fairy-tales or classic novels could help someone so isolated from the world he only had two people to talk to most of the time.

/\/\

It was on one of the days that Remus had been dragged away from his work and his rubbish that he found hope again. The litter picker had been locked away by Janus while Roman distracted him so he couldn't start working while they were out. He was still wondering about changing jobs and just keeping the rubbish collection as a hobby; Surely he could be loud on a building site.

The thought was pushed aside by Roman starting to sing Beauty and the Beast. Of course Remus had to improve the lyrics then, nobody needed to hear something so saccharine as that.

“Dudes, if you were any louder I'd be putting my ear defenders on just to get past.” The words cut through everything, freezing Remus in place as he registered the building site next to where they were passing and a guy leaving it watching them. The biggest realisation though was that he'd just heard the words from his wrist spoken aloud and the person's expression wasn't happy.

He was on the verge of tears before he could remember how to speak again. “Please stay long enough to talk. I can be quiet I swear. I think you're my soul.”

Peripherally he could see Janus stopping Roman from speaking, but all his fears rested on the face of alarm and concern now directed at him. “I've got an hours lunch break, but if you give me your number we could carry on texting after that and meet up later?” The words seemed carefully chosen, possibly rehearsed, but they were enough to make Remus want to leap up the walls. “And you don't need to be quiet, Dude. Noise is pretty good generally.”

“Really? But only – Nobody – Everyone -” There was so many things Remus wanted to say all at once but he couldn't get any of them out, tears beginning to fall in the sudden rush of hope.

A tissue being shoved into his hand reminded him of his brothers presence. “I think what Remus is trying to say is aside from Janus and I most people do leave him so thank you for giving him the chance.” Roman attempted to interpret, not entirely successful but close enough.

“We don't need a chaperone, thanks. I deal with my own anxiety enough to be patient with someone else's.” Remus's soulmate snarked back, now holding a hand towards him. “And something to eat generally helps after a whirlwind of emotions, if you'd like yo join me?”

Of course Remus took the hand, overjoyed to be led away. “I'm Remus, He/him. Who are you, My Soul?”

“Virgil, he/him, and do you need some breathing exercises? You've been like swapping from not breathing to hyperventilating since I spoke.” The offer and raised eyebrow glance assessing him made Remus realise just how fast he was breathing.

“Please.” He'd been pulled into a sandwich shop now but Virgil ignored the guy hurrying behind the counter to sit Remus down and help him.

It took a few minutes before his breathing calmed and the bouncing from excitement began. “Can I buy you lunch, Virgie?” He offered, glancing for a way to stay with his soulmate as long as he could.

Being answered with a head-shake dampened his hopes to be helpful though, until Virgil spoke, “Only if you can promise me this isn't part of you trying to behave so I'll stay. Whomever Remus is beyond your fears is who I want to know and I'm happy to wait and reassure until you're comfortable to show him to me. I'm staying; no need to try and earn that.”

Remus gasped at the sincerity and comfort being so freely offered, before actually pausing to think. “I was gonna buy my bro and Janjan lunch today anyway. Lot more fun to buy my soul his even if I can't sabotage it.”

“Then I'll have a hot chocolate with a ham and cheese baguette.” Virgil relaxed back into his seat, finally letting go of Remus's hands though he couldn't say when they'd been taken. Remus had to grin at the snickers he got from walking backwards to the counter.

Virgil was still snickering when he came back with their drinks and this time nothing slightly odd had been done consciously to cause it. “I've not got froth on my nose yet. What's so funny?”

“Re, what on earth did you order to make Sunglasses look so horrified?”

“I wanted as many espresso shots as possible so I can fight the universe and 2 of the most sugary, e-number filled thing they sell so we can get sugar rushes too!” Remus nodded, certain it made sense as he swapped the way the drinks were placed down 9 times before deciding he'd got it right.

Virgil watched the move with a still amused smirk before shrugging. “I'm the first aider for my site so I can patch you up afterwards.” He said, sending electric shocks of relief flinging themselves through Remus. “But other than fighting galactic entities and shocking servers what do you do?”

Most people on the Cities Cleansing team would insist on using their actual job title, saying it sounded more professional, others just stayed down to earth and called a spade a spade; then there was Remus is his own league, “I steal people's rubbish and make treasures out of it all, sometimes hidden safely at the dump!”

“Sounds like you're more than equipped to fight gods then. How would you describe being a builder?” Remus had expected disgust or dismissal but was met with a small smile and curiosity. He had to tap his knee harder to get the happy energy out somehow.

“Committing atrocities against natural habitats or giving purpose to the city areas people look away from. Depends if you work on inner city used sites or areas out taking over farmland.”

Even Janus disliked his descriptions of the jobs people claimed as vital, but Virgil just snorted, nodding along. “Too right. The rich man says build here and people just wanting to survive the month have to follow. I do try to avoid the areas building on new land when I can at least.” Virgil broke off, looking around as though wanting something else to say, before frowning. “No fighting the capitalist regime alone though. One person is too easy for companies to disappear. Best to talk people into unions and protests instead.”

Remus couldn't help but cackle at the remark. After all the years of rejection it was impossible to believe Virgil was real, actually feeding into his ideas and encouraging him. “You're really not going to leave me? I can have your number?” The thought spilt out as soon as he thought over how happy this hour was for him.

“If you give me your phone I can add my number to it now and you already know where I work for the next months if you just want to appear randomly.” Virgil offered, extending his hand across the table. “We could do lunch dates as long as you're okay just sitting by the fountain since I usually bring a packed lunch. I just wasn't awake enough to make it this morning.”

The hour disappeared from them far too quickly, with Remus cackling through it almost more than speaking. Even as they walked back to Virgil's building site they were talking and getting to know each other, only just spotting Roman and Janus approaching from the opposite direction.

Remus ignored them through their farewells and after, standing watching the entrance shut before opening his phone to just stare are the new contact added. “He's staying.” Remus wasn't one for reverence but his voice in that moment was filled with it.

“He's your soulmate.” Roman stated, smiling. There was a relief in Roman's voice that for years Remus would call out given how certain his brother had acted that soulmates don't leave.

“He doesn't even care about the taste combinations I love! Or even my ideas and ways of describing everything!” He threw himself between Janus and Roman, grabbing their hands and recounting absolutely every detail of Virgil from the last hour. At least they'd stop him from breaking in anywhere.

The hand holding didn't last long when he heard a text alert.

'Got tickets to a friends concert on Friday. You coming?'

The world could leave Remus behind but with his soulmate inviting him on a date that was fine with him.

[twstdreams]

Halloween Haunting: Magicam Mess

Warning: Spoilers for Halloween event; canon divergent CYOA, length: 1K 

Previous | Next

Your personal rule is that if everything is going to fall apart it should be after you’ve had a good meal, but the lightning raining down from the sky indicates lunch is going to have to be put on pause for now.

“Hey! They never told us about any thunder! I hate when my fur gets all staticky,” Grim complains. Wheels churn in your mind as you try to formulate a plan that gets you and the tourists out alive. While you’re sure an electrocution or two would teach them a lesson, it’s a little too early to be an accessory to murder.

“I need your help. Just agree with what I say and help me spread a rumour,” you instruct your familiar.

“What? Can’t we just leave?” Grim rebuttals.

“This stamp rally is at our dorm. If things go wrong, the headmaster will punish us too and I know you hate cleaning.” Grim grumbles about this and that but by now you’re a pro at tuning him out. You looked at the top trending hashtags and decided which one to hijack. #perfectflower it is! You upload a photo of a petal, artsy and vague enough to support your lie.  

“GREAT SEVEN! I’M GONNA MISS THE SUPER RARE FLOWER!” you scream. Your best acting? No, but it gets everyone’s attention so you blunder on.

“The night-blooming cereus would definitely trend! It only blooms once a year at night. Night Raven College even has a special one that looks like a galaxy,” you add in a voice that most definitely would not be appropriate indoors.

“What’re you talking about?” a tourist beside you inquires, magicam app open on their phone. You refrain from letting the smile on your face turn into a smirk.

“Don’t you know? Near the entrance, beside the big tree, there are several of them planted there. The Pomefiore students take care of them all year and then they bloom around Halloween. It’s why #perfectflower is trending!” you explain, giddy that someone took the bait.

“Let’s go there next after the Draconia challenge!” someone chimes. You grit your teeth to stop yourself from blurting out an insult. If they tried the Draconia challenge, they wouldn’t have a living body for much longer.

“Tonight the holographic one blooms but only for 30 minutes! They don’t exist in the wild, it’s only because of the students. You have to leave right now or you won’t make it in time!” You notice the hesitation as people look in the direction of the entrance and back to Malleus’ casting a storm of spells. While you could stand in awe about their lack of survival skills, truly is it that hard to choose between a pretty rare flower and being murdered by a dragon fae, you decide they need a little push.

“I’m going now. If I take a picture before everyone else, mine will be most popular.” You turn around and start walking with so much faux confidence maybe even Vil would compliment you unlikely but Rook would. You’re rewarded with the sound of fast footsteps, a couple of people even breaking it out into a run. There aren’t any flowers there, but you hope that the people regulating the front gate will be able to kick them out.

By the time you loop around, out of sight of the Magicam Monsters you just tricked, you notice Lilia and Malleus talking. Luckily the sky has cleared up and you don’t see any charred corpses on the ground, yet the bitter expression on Malleus’ face remains. You approach his side but the magic words to turn his frown into a smile escape your mind. Even after Lilia greets you, you’re unsure of what sentence is the right answer, so you hope sincerity is enough to carry you through.

“How are you doing?” you ask. It’s not anger or annoyance you’re met with, but the forlorn look in his eyes pierces your heart.

“I apologize. I chose Ramshackle as a stamp rally location. I just wanted you to enjoy Halloween too. However, I never imagined that it would bring so much trouble,” Malleus admits. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s theirs for not following the rules.” Your words are true but they don’t seem to placate the dorm leader given the tight line his lips form. “Let’s go for a walk. I think we’ve both had enough of crowds for now.” 

You tug on his hand and Malleus unexpectedly follows without resistance, though you’re unsure if the pink dusting his cheeks is from exhaustive use of magic or something else. You let out a complaint and Malleus reciprocates with one in turn. By the time you’ve wandered far away from the bustle of the stamp rally, neither of your problems are solved, but you both feel better after confiding in each other. Your hands are still linked together, your fingers aren’t intertwined but your grip isn’t loose either. 

Eventually, the topic turns to lighter topics that bring a smile to your visage. Comparing Halloweens, stories of lighting things on fire, pumpkin carving, favourite treats, promises to try pumpkin pie ice cream together. But all good things come to an end and the serenity comes to an end saying that you HAVE to go to the Main Street.

And it turns out, your horrid day hasn’t ended because the Great Seven statues are toppled over and missing. Accusations are thrown and both student and staff alike are in shock. It’s one thing to litter waffles, it’s another to destroy statues of renowned magicians who represented the proud dorms.

“Tomorrow, the Halloween party might have to be cancelled,” Crowley adds. Troubled expressions morph into ones of shock and outrage. Disagreement is abound but the staff don’t budge due to concerns of students being harmed.

“The party will be held if the Magicam Monster problem is solved, right?” you ask. When Crowley gives you the confirmation, you plaster on a disappointed look as the wheels in your brain turn. The staff leave to gather the others and host a meeting but from the look in Jade’s eye, you can tell the other students are on the same page as you though Jade seems to always have that calculating gleam in his eyes.

“You have a point,” Azul acknowledges.

“We just have to chase away the Magicam Monsters from our campus,” Jade agrees and you can see several people around you having a lightbulb moment.

“We can confirm if they’re Magicam Monsters by seeing if they violate rules,” Vil states, dispelling worries about how to accomplish such a task.

“I’ll punch them away!” Deuce exclaims. You’re sure he’d follow through and that’s the problem.

“That’ll just make this a problem with the police,” Ace counteracts.

“We can’t just use magic attacks on them either, they’re going to figure out it’s not a security system,” Idia rebuttals when a couple of students suggest just flinging Magicam Monsters across campus. You know Idia’s right but you think it’d be very satisfying to toss yeet them away like garbage.

“Haaahaahaha!~” Floyd laughs, “You’re thinking so hard about this. The answer is easy to figure out.”

“Now, don’t laugh at them,” Jade chides while chuckling and baring his teeth. You’ve never seen someone act less sincere but you know better than to antagonize the leech twins. 

“It is eating a delicious meal with everyone!” Kalim declares. You’re certain that’s not what the Octavinelle trio is thinking, free food is never their first bet, but you appreciate his sunshine disposition.

“Haaah... Rich kids really are impossible. We should make them feel uncomfortable and scare them away,” Ruggie explains.

“A night hunt under the moonlight! Magnifique! I can’t wait,” Rook exclaims. He has the same dreamy look in his eyes as when he envisions capturing his prey.

Which team do you want to help scare away the Magicam Monsters?

Heartslabyul’s Graveyard: Time to bury some secrets and maybe even a Magicam Monster or two

Savanaclaw’s Pirate ship: Who says the swords are fake even if the curse is?

Octavinelle’s Lab: Few are as good at deception at this dorm, and you’ve been itching to throw some Magicam Monsters into a personal sci-fi horror story

Scarabia’s Wereworlf curse: You hate bugs with a vengeance and scaring away rude tourists is better than lighting school property on fire. But will Kalim be able to scare everyone? 

Ignihyde’s Spooky Night: Otakus wronged and the tech to bring horrors to life makes for an interesting combo that’s sure to leave a couple of people scarred.

Diasomnia’s Haunted Scare: Will revenge be as sweet as ice cream? You’re about to find out. The Magicam Monsters wanted so badly to get into your dorm, might as well let them in and have some fun with it!

Main Street’s Ghostly Hunt: If they’re bold enough to topple statues and take pictures on their pedestals, surely they can face a grim reaper after their life?

[verryberriess]

Accept Me As Your Valentine’s | Rowaelin Oneshot

This is the first fanfiction I’ve ever written!! Thanks to my bestie @maastrash for the encouragement and helping me out :D I hope you guys like it!

Rating: T, mild swearing

Summary: February 14 was the one official day at Greenbriar where an individual could offer chocolates, flowers, or small gifts to someone they admire or want to express pure feelings towards. And Aelin had spent all night making chocolates for a certain someone...

Note: There is potential for the side stories to be written out ... let me know what you think!

February 14. Valentine’s Day. A tradition celebrated around the world where gifts and flowers are exchanged between lovers in order to express a physical act of love. Gifts didn’t have to necessarily be exchanged between lovers, however. Many, in fact, are exchanged between close friends and offered to those whom someone admires.

At Greenbriar High School, Valentine’s Day had become a popular school event over the years. February 14 was the one official day at Greenbriar where an individual could offer chocolates, flowers, or small gifts to someone they admire or want to express pure feelings towards. It was the ultimate event of courage for girls and guys of all classes to attempt a confession towards the person they admired from afar. The hope of having one’s feelings returned often came at the expense of high-end chocolate carefully wrapped in gold foil imported from Switzerland and Belgium or opulent custom-designed pastries from French patisseries.

Rowan Whitethorn, Aedion Ashyrver, and Fenrys Moonbeam were some particular individuals whom many girls had intended to present their chocolates to on this special day, for the reason that these men were the most eligible bachelors of Greenbriar High.

School legend claimed that a couple years ago, alumni Lorcan Salvaterre, infamous for his ruthless and dark manner, had actually started dating someone after she had presented chocolates to him on this particular day. As a result, most people reasoned that if the notorious Lorcan could be swayed by some certain chocolates on Valentine’s Day, there was certainly some charm in the event that had provoked such a miracle.

Amidst the bustling student body, Aelin Galathynius stood in front of her locker and stared down at what she clutched in her hands. A tiny, golden, heart-shaped box she had purchased from the local art store for her homemade chocolates. She had even put in the effort to tie a little bow across the box to complete the aesthetic. It had taken her all night to prepare her chocolates. Although she was certainly talented in consuming large quantities of the physical manifestations of cocoa heaven, they were absolutely a pain to produce. Cooking was not in her favor.

She remembered last night’s events where she burned her first batch of cream and chocolate in the bowl, and in her second attempt, somehow the chocolate had managed to never melt. She stirred for one whole hour for the mixture to turn liquidy as the recipe called; it was apparent that after she had Googled the approximate time it took for chocolate to melt under this process, she knew she had to start over again. Hence, third time's a charm when she followed an easier recipe.  

In the end, she had successfully made chocolates-- or well-- it was as chocolate as chocolate could be. Her chocolate turned out lumpy, with unusual grooves and warts sticking out in various directions. Perhaps that was due to the almond shavings she had added for an artistic touch? Were truffles supposed to carry such a discoloring? She compared her outcome to the one in the article. Ehh.

Aelin took a bite out of one of the six chocolates that had survived her horrific cooking venture. “Hmm,” she mulled over its unusual taste. It was definitely edible. But did it taste like the usual chocolatey decadence she was so accustomed to? Big no. Even if it was chocolate. Even if she was the ultimate chocolate connoisseur who would probably consume any form of chocolate in the world. What she had concocted was a big mistake.

Aelin couldn’t afford to waste any more heavy cream. The jar of cocoa powder that she had gotten earlier that day was also almost out. And it wasn’t like the general store near her operated 24/7. Carefully assembling the remaining five chocolates in the box she had acquired on sale just for tomorrow’s occasion, she wrapped a golden ribbon across and pulled the ends tight.

She couldn’t reason how so many of her fellow classmates had thousands of dollars to spend on chocolates that carried high risk of being rejected. Actually, maybe that was the best form of action anyways, since her truffles didn’t exactly turn out how chocolates were supposed to. But, in reality, this was all Aelin could afford. She lived in the most underprivileged neighborhood in the area and rode on the bus for an hour to get to school everyday. Some days after school, she worked a part-time job to pay for her rent. She was sincerely thankful for being able to attend Greenbriar High under a full scholarship despite the air being polluted by rich snobs and bigots. Nevertheless, Aelin was most thankful for the best friend she’s ever made in her life there. These chocolates were for him, after all.

He better be thankful. Aelin was on the verge of hand-writing letters to thank each chocolate company in the country for their honorable service. She had a newfound appreciation for the treat.

Aelin peered out of her locker to look over her shoulder at an onslaught of girls and boys. The crowd was immense. She hadn’t realized the extent of the school event’s popularity until now. She witnessed some groups exchange treats with each other and heard others talking animatedly about who they would offer theirs to. But the majority of the crowd was focused around a certain group that everyone had aspired to give their chocolates to. Rowan, Fenrys, and Aedion walked as a group through the hall, conversing with each other, stopping intermittently to interact with brave souls who tried to give them chocolates. Fenrys looked like a balancing act. He carried stacks upon stacks of chocolates and sweets within his arms. The pile seemed to grow with each passing second. Aelin feared for all of the treats that would scatter across the school if he ever toppled over… she just hoped she would get there in time to maybe steal some for herself? Aedion carried a few chocolates himself, but most of them were probably hidden inside of his bag, since it was looking extra stuffed today.

She watched as a girl, holding luxury chocolate bars Aelin would have died to get her hands on, approach a notable tall, silver-haired, pine-green eyed individual. He only carried his backpack on his right shoulder-- any sweets he may have received were out of sight. The girl blushed, determinedly held out the chocolates, and shyly insisted, “Rowan, please accept these chocolates!”

Rowan looked upon the unassuming girl and the chocolates with disinterest and replied, “... No.”

With encouragement from her friends to try again, the girl piped up assuredly, “If you could just-”

Rowan cut her off, “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept these.”

The crowd around Rowan and the girl didn’t seem to decrease even with Rowan’s apt rejection. In fact, it only seemed to get bigger. Of course Rowan would reject the chocolates though, reasoned Aelin. He was never big on sweets. But maybe he would accept hers-

Before Aelin could reconsider, she saw Rowan reject yet another person across the hall. This time, he rejected a guy who had wanted to thank Rowan for his help from some extracurricular activity.

No. This is stupid, thought Aelin. If he didn’t accept someone’s chocolates meant to thank him for his help, what were the odds of Rowan accepting hers? They weren’t that close, were they? She had wanted to thank him for being a good friend to her. He was one of her closest friends at school. He had introduced her to the rest of his group and allowed her to meet Lysandra and Fenrys. Why did she feel like she needed a better reason to present him her chocolates?

Aelin shoved her chocolates in her locker and collected her books for the school day.

When she walked into Second period, she scrambled to her seat and shrunk into her chair and focused on a peculiar spot on her desk. It was not long after until Rowan walked in and made eye contact with her. Immediately, his resting bitch face morphed into a grin, “Hey, Fireheart!” Rowan made his way towards Aelin’s seat.

Aelin looked up from the all-too interesting black dust speck and carefully crafted her response, smiling smugly, “Buzzard! I’m surprised you’re not carrying a mountain of chocolates with you.”

Rowan smirked, “Well, I have my own agenda to account for today.” Rowan peered at Aelin expectantly. Aelin only stared back. Was he trying to communicate telepathically with her somehow? She would have to remind him again that it wouldn’t work. “But I’m also wondering-- “

Before Rowan could finish, their teacher walked in and silenced the room with her eerie screeching throughout the class. Rowan, about to quickly tell Aelin something, hastily turned back around towards the board at the lecturing tone of their teacher, who reminded him that class had already started.

Aelin was confused. But she figured he would tell her later. They sat at lunch together with the rest of their friends anyway. During the entirety of the class, Aelin couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to ask her. He looked at her as if he was expecting something, but he also looked hesitant to ask her about whatever he wanted to ask. His idiotic face was too much for her to think about right now. What did he expect from her? Chocolates? No, she was still on the brink of destroying those utter atrocities. She had yet to decide whether she still wanted to give them to him, but considering the way he acted towards everyone else who tried to give him something, she was leaning to not.

Towards the end of class, Aelin packed up her bag and readied her materials for her next class. Next period she had to turn in a paper before class started. Otherwise, it would be considered late.

When the bell rang signaled for Passing period, Rowan turned back around in his seat to approach Aelin again, but she remarked, “I’ll see you at lunch! I have a paper to turn in!” and ran out of the classroom.

At lunch, she found the usual table already occupied by her friends who were already discussing intensely about the events of their day so far. It was apparent that everyone already had dozens of boxes of treats set out before them. She sat down next to Lysandra and inquired about her friends’ large collections, “How do you guys already have so many chocolates?  It’s literally lunch and we only sat through three periods of the day so far,” Aelin was seriously concerned with the popularity of her own friends. With their collection alone, they could feed a whole nation. The total costs of all of the gifts themselves could probably amount to the entire GDP of England or something.

“Well, Aelin, it’s all because of my infinitesimal charm. It’s also a little process I like to call, ‘accept and accept’” replied Fenrys jokingly.

“No, I’m specifically wondering why YOU, of all people, have been offered chocolate!” Aelin grinned back. She loved joking with Fenrys. But now she wondered why she ended up empty handed. No one had offered her anything yet. Maybe she had been too much of an oddball at school to make any sort of formidable impression among her peers. Was she too unapproachable? She watched the exchange between Lysandra and Aedion. She guessed that eighty percent of the gifts that Lysandra received were from Aedion. It would have been nice to receive something too…

Next, she observed Rowan. He had resigned from any conversation to focus all of his concentration on his food to ignore Fenrys, who kept berating him with a small box of special hazelnut chocolates Fenrys had gotten from Russia. That especially looked appetizing. “Come on, Rowan! I ordered these a few days ago just for you! They taste just like Nutella!”

Rowan grumbled something incoherent and concentrated harder onto his food.

Fenrys eyebrows furrowed. He turned away from Rowan to face Aelin. An idea must have hit him because soon his disappointed expression morphed into that of a devious one. Aelin waited to brace herself for whatever rambunctious idea that Fenrys had apparently come up with. “So Aelin, would you mind-”

The movement was so fast, the whole table fell silent at the abrupt speed that had been displayed. Rowan had swiped the hazelnut chocolates from Fenrys, tucked them besides his lunch, and resumed eating. Aelin was shocked about what had just happened. Lysandra and Aedion, who had paused their conversation, both resumed their exchange. Their talking had seemed to lower even more so in volume, almost to that of whispers, discussing whatever between themselves that had to be kept a secret from all of them. Expressions coy, they traded little smiles and light touches between each other. Fenrys’ only response to Rowan’s reaction was a gleeful smile of victory. He continued to badger Rowan as they both ate.

Aelin scrutinized the little box of chocolates that Rowan had kept next to his lunch container. Damn, she really wanted them. She was so ready to accept them from Fenrys if Rowan hadn’t stolen them away. As if he sensed her watching his chocolates, he gracefully gathered them closer towards himself, out of her reach. Aelin huffed in resignation. There was no way she could attempt to steal the treats now.

While everyone had an endless supply of chocolates, where were hers? She was the ultimate chocolate connoisseur. She was the most qualified to be receiving chocolates. This kind of school event was made for her! She should have been receiving all sorts of things now. She knew she wasn’t exactly the nicest person in the school, nor a typical rich kid that could lure others to be her friend, but she wasn’t a fiend! Consequently, her own source of chocolates from this day were the chocolates that she had made herself… and while those things were chocolate, under her jurisdiction, they were not qualified to be considered as such. To top it all off, she hadn’t even made those chocolates for herself.

She looked out at the other tables. A group of girls cheered as they exchanged little boxes with bows tied atop. She saw another guy blush and shyly present a heart-shaped box to another girl. Groups mingled and high fived each other as they handed out treats to each other. Aelin’s felt an unpleasant tug in her chest as she observed students carry out the gift-giving event.

But as Aelin turned her attention back to her own table, she had realized that her friends had exchanged chocolates without her. She watched Fenrys play Jenga out of the boxes that he received and Lysandra and Aedion in their own world. Rowan only kept Fenrys’ chocolate, but that was because he had turned down all of the other gifts throughout the day. She looked at the collection of chocolates that Lysandra and Aedion scattered around them on the table and zeroed in on two tiny red-wrapped boxes of hazelnut chocolates that have been imported from Russia.

Aelin frowned. Suddenly those hazelnut chocolates didn’t look so appetizing anymore. Nor any of the other chocolates that she had seen exchanged today. She couldn’t control the feeling of her lips starting to tremble or the sudden deep tugging in her chest that felt like a million bricks had settled atop her chest. She tentatively rose from her seat at the table. Her long bangs shielded her misted eyes from the group, fortunately covering her face as she remarked shakily, “I just remembered I had an assignment due next period. I’ll see you guys later.”

As Aelin stood up, about to leave, Rowan called, “Wait, Aelin, you’ve barely touched your food.”

Aedion chimed in, “Yeah, you should eat at least a little bit, Aelin. We still have three more periods to go.”

It was true. Aelin had just gotten back from class and knew that she’d only sat for a few minutes. She had barely touched her lunch. But the gnawing in her gut diminished her usually ravenous appetite. Aelin pulled on a smile. It was strange how exhausting it felt to force her lips to tug in a motion that was so effortless and natural to execute only moments before. She couldn’t see the group’s reaction, but responded, “I’m suddenly just not hungry anymore.” She pivoted herself around so as to not face the group and walked out of the cafeteria in haste.

It was bad enough that sometimes she had felt like an outsider at her own school. But the feeling only solidified today as she truly realized the reality of her position. She interacted and got along with her classmates well and participated in class, and although she was not as close to her peers she wanted to be, compared to herself and her usual group, it hit her that one of her classmates had passed out goodie bags of candy corn to everyone in the class but her. She didn’t realize it until the end of class when she asked her classmate why everyone held the same goodie bag. It didn’t bother her that much because she was eager to go to lunch… but now it was at the forefront of her mind. And now? She felt like an outsider to her own lunch group.

Her footsteps thudded through the hall. They sounded louder than usual, as if she were the only one walking through them. There were a few people loitering the hallway, yet they felt so far away. This small stretch of space that usually felt so narrow and crowded now felt like it could stretch for miles. All Aelin could hear right now were her footsteps. Everything else was muted. Her thoughts whirled, a simultaneous mess of gibberish and nothingness and everything at the same time. Her steps carried her to her locker, where she now beheld the little, golden, heart-shaped box. She didn’t have the heart to throw out the hours of work that she put into the little monstrosities, but…

Rowan had been offered chocolates that had probably cost more than her whole month’s rent. Fenrys’ were from Russia for fuck’s sake. If he had trouble accepting even his own friend’s presents, what were the odds of him accepting hers? It’s not like she was any different as a person compared to her friends. But even so, what did she have to offer? She was poor. She walked in rags and everyone else lept in riches. Aelin felt the tears that she fought so hard to suppress well up and stream down her face. If she could physically put a price on how much she felt she owed Rowan, the number would be in the thousands. Millions. What did crippled, deformed chocolates amount to compared to the things that these daughters and sons of millionaires could afford and buy without even batting an eye?

Rowan had given her so much. So, so much. Friendship. Laughter. Dessert... And something else she was so afraid to put into words. She knew it in her heart earlier when she began thinking of what to gift him. She knew what she had felt when she tried to make the chocolates over and over again. She knew what she was trying to convince away from herself when she stood at her locker this morning and watched Rowan reject gift after gift.

But she wouldn’t admit it now. Couldn’t. She was far too stubborn. She tightly gripped the box in her hands and closed her locker door. She gripped the box so hard the cheap cardboard repaid her in wrinkles and a large, thumb-sized dent. The box looked so worn. Its cover was dented and soiled with the scent of salt; the bow she so proudly tied together flopped, weighed down from its damp ends, saturated by her tears.

Aelin smuggled the box into her backpack and slid down the wall of lockers to settle on the floor.

-----

She avoided the group the rest of the day, but she often saw Rowan in the distance. During class, Aelin once looked out the window and saw Rowan casually standing a few meters away from her classroom. As if he sensed the instance she noticed his presence, he immediately walked in the opposite direction of her classroom. During Passing period, she would often see Rowan walk in her direction. But when she saw him nearing, she took a detour. She was successful in avoiding the others the whole day, but somehow it was as if Rowan was everywhere.

At break, she noticed that when she walked to her spot, Rowan was already there, so she walked away quickly. But when she went to another room, it was like he appeared out of nowhere. Today, to her dismay, it seemed that he was just always within her vicinity.

After school, she made up her mind. This would be the last time she would interact with any of them. This would serve as her final good bye, and a big “fuck you” to Rowan’s asshole rejections.

She walked outside of the school to the spot they usually meet up at to walk home together. As Aelin neared, she scowled at a line that had seemed to form. But a line for what? Her eyes traced the direction of the line to its head. Who would have thought. A line to present chocolates to Rowan Whitethorn. It seemed as though many people had acquired the same idea as she had. But now, the energy in the crowd that had gathered felt even more intense than that of this morning.

The line consisted of both girls and guys. They lined up one after another. A tall, athletic guy Aelin knew as Jasen presented a large box of Japanese candy and asserted, “Hey Rowan! The basketball team all pitched in to buy this for you. We really appreciate you for helping us in our championship game.” Rowan wasn’t officially on the team, but secretly subbed in the last quarter, he had ended up scoring the winning basket. “Hopefully we can play again sometime,” Jasen smiled.

Rowan replied lamely, “... I hate mushroom-shaped, matcha flavored konpeito.”

The group of guys that encouraged their friend to approach Rowan argued amongst themselves. “Why did you give him those? Did he seem like a mushroom-shaped, matcha-flavor konpeito type of guy to you?!”

A girl with brunette curls and sun-kissed skin came forward, “Rowan, I’ve always wanted to thank you for helping me last year. It really meant a lot to me, and I don’t want anything in return, but it would make me really happy if you could accept these…?”

Rowan inspected the chocolates and flowers she held out to him and examined the brunette’s face. The crowd was silent, eagerly waiting for his response. Will he accept them? He would actually be an asshole if he didnt, thought Aelin.

“Sorry, I don’t think I remember helping you, so I can’t accept these.”

The girl insisted, “It’s Lyria. You helped deliver flowers to the hospital with me to my parents last year.”

“Oh, well, Lyria, I’m sorry, but it’s just that I actually don’t remember you… so,” Rowan shifted uneasily.

“Buzzard,” Aelin cursed at Rowan’s bad memory. He was actually the worst.

The line increasingly reduced as he rejected person after person. No matter the reason, no matter how intensely they felt about him, Rowan rejected them. But also after each rejection, came an energy of rejuvenation as the next person somehow felt even more fired up to present their gift. The courage was astounding.

“Sorry-”

“Sorry-”

“Sorry-”

“Sorry-”

“Sorry, I-”

After what seemed like hours, the mile-long line had dwindled to nothing. Rowan had accepted absolutely no one’s gifts. But the crowd remained, eager to see who would bravely face him next. This event had in some way transitioned into a spirited competition of who could possibly get Rowan Whitethorn to accept their gift. This competition would forever be embedded in the yearbooks. The energy was wild. It was legendary. No one so far had accomplished this feat. Aelin could tell people had lost any sense of unease. No matter one’s status or wealth, everyone had been rejected just because. And by the time the line had dwindled down to twenty, not one had felt shame in approaching him, no less in offering him their gifts in fear of rejection.

Aelin looked around. It seemed that there was no one else who wanted to approach him. They were all defeated. They only waited for the next person to advance toward him. She sucked in her feelings and walked down towards him in an air of pridefulness. No matter, she was just going to do what she had to do and go about her life.

Although the path towards him was only a few feet, it seemed like she had walked for an endless number of miles. She had turned her attention towards the ground as she walked, so, so hesitant to take the next step. But her mind fought to keep her walking towards him. She needed to do this for him. She needed to do this for herself. It was like everything was muted again. The chatter surrounding them faded to a dull white noise and as she looked up towards his face-- as he commenced to close the distance from where he stood all those dozens of times students tried to propose to him. His pine green eyes met her turquoise blue. She couldn’t deny the sudden intensity in them, compared to the obvious disinterest that he had shown to others time and time beforehand. His mouth firm, but in awe as if struck by her presence. There it was, his usual, idiotic Buzzard face.

Now, they stood only a few inches apart. She glowered at him and he bored his eyes back into hers. They were so close Aelin could smell his scent of pine and snow. She didn’t know what to make of his reaction, because they had only just stared at each other, as if the first person to speak would shatter the electric energy that peaked in the atmosphere, as if the other person would explode into pieces just from their speech alone. Aelin was addicted to this energy whenever she was with him. When they were walking home together, when they hung out at each other’s houses, or when they had bought each other ice cream and devoured them on the flowery grass at the park. No, Aelin was mistaken. She could never say goodbye to Rowan. She could only ever welcome him back into her life, welcome back an even stronger relationship than they had initially formed.

But, when she finally chose to speak first, “Rowan, I-”

At the same time, Rowan uttered, “Fireheart, I’ve-”

Aelin’s cheeks noticeably burned. The realization of what she was doing finally had caught up to her. Her face burned even hotter as if she was branded by the 350°F heat of a thousand ovens baking chocolate chip cookies. As she looked at Rowan’s face, she couldn’t help but feel relieved at his instant blush as well. “You go first,” Aelin said.

At Aelin’s command, Rowan proceeded, “I’ve been waiting for you. Since this morning, I just-”

But Aelin was too impatient. She had steeled her mind from any sort of rejection. She primed herself and wanted to get it over with, so she took up the heart-shaped box she held in her hands and cut him off, “No!”

Rowan immediately stopped himself and looked at her, bewildered.

This was the first time Aelin would let herself acknowledge her feelings. At this realization, she had wanted to let him know. She wanted him to know her feelings. As she replayed her interactions with him for the past five months she’s known him in her mind throughout her classes today, she knew that she had to use today to finally get her feelings out. She would hurt afterwards, but at least he would know, because every little thought of hers had been crashing down on her lately. He was on her mind everyday. She would hurt but Aelin knew she had the ability to slowly put herself back together again.

And so, Aelin took her stance.

She exhaled harshly,

And aggressively shoved the box against his broad chest.

The crowd around them was stunned at this sudden development.

“When I first came to Greenbriar, I never expected to form close ties with anyone. But it was you who had worn down the iron walls I had so carefully crafted up, because of your stupid, stupid idiocy, and I,” Aelin paused, “And today,”  She took a deep breath, “Today I really wanted to get rid of you and Fenrys and Lysandra and Aedion from my stupid life because I-- I felt hurt.” Aelin closed her eyes to collect herself.

“Fireheart, I can-”

“No, I need to say this… Just, let me get this out… please.” Aelin regained her composure and started again, “When I thought about cutting ties with you guys, I recounted all of the memories we made together in these five months alone. I have never felt so happy in my life before I came here, and I realized it was because of everyone. And then I remembered those times you picked me up in the middle of the night and took me to this beautiful, beautiful spot to admire the stars. I recounted how I knew my heart began to mend so slowly; it was so slow, but it was healing, and I knew it was only because I was with you. So I realized I could never say goodbye. Not ever. ”

“So,” She picked a crease on Rowan’s shirt to focus on, looked up into his eyes, which crinkled  back immediately in response, and shouted at him, “Rowan, I like you! Accept my chocolates!”

Rowan peered down at her. A visible blush painted his cheeks and the corner of his lips quirked upwards into a small smile. Rowan closed his large hands around Aelin’s small ones, gently taking up the marred heart-shaped box from her hands, and pulled Aelin into a tight embrace. He enclosed her within his arms and held her tight, as if he feared she would fly away from him. In response, Aelin instinctively leaned into the crook of his shoulder. Rowan bent down to bury himself within her hair. They fit together perfectly. He couldn’t get enough of her, and she, him.

Rowan pulled back from her hair to face Aelin, grinning, “Fireheart, of course I’ll accept your chocolates.” Without letting Aelin out of his embrace, Rowan tugged on the ribbon of the box and popped one of the chocolates in his mouth. “Mm, as expected from my Fireheart. They don’t taste like chocolates at all.”

Aelin glared back up at him as Rowan licked some of the remnants from his finger and continued, “But, Miss Chocolate Connoisseur, this is truly unacceptable.”

“What now?” Aelin sunk in deeper into his embrace.

Rowan reached into his pocket, “You’re simply not qualified to be the one giving out chocolates. It’s demeaning of you.” He pulls out a key and slips it into Aelin’s palm.

Aelin’s brows furrowed in confusion and inspected the key that Rowan placed in her hand, “Are you trying to ask me to move in with you or something? I think that’s a bit fast, don’t you think? You didn’t even kiss me yet.”

Rowan’s cheeks burned further, “It’s the key to the Godiva store in downtown. You can enter the store and take whatever you want, whenever.”

“Even when it’s closed?”

“Even when it’s closed. And on that note, I’m sorry for how you felt today… I know I hurt you, I was supposed to give you this key this morning,” Rowan looked away and whispered, “Yesterday, I... threatened the whole student body to not gift anything to you because,” Rowan spoke even more softly, so that only Aelin could hear, “Fireheart, you’re mine to spoil. I want you to know that I love you. Out of every single person in this school, out of every single person on this earth, and perhaps even the universe, you’re the only person I would accept chocolates from. The only person I’ll concede to, fall for, and let my heart be stolen from.”

Aelin looked at him and traced the swirls of his tattoo with her eyes, like she had done a thousand times already whenever they were together. She felt her heart swell. It was healed. Her heart had fully healed. Its tiny cracks mended and now the weight of her heart that initially only served to weigh her down made her feel so so light, she was afraid she would accidentally soar into the sky. So, Aelin stood on her tiptoes, reached up to grab at Rowan’s hair to pull him down at her level and muttered, “Territorial bastard,” before crashing her lips onto his to feel the electricity between them once more.

[wouldduskwood]

Jake's POV Descendants of Despair Part 10

Duskwood - JakexMC fanfic

Contains references to drugs, prostitution and rape

Note: Much of this fictional backstory is improbable but was needed to give depth to the MC character (intelligence, street smarts/survival skills, manipulation and trust issues) - to make her reactions more understandable and leads on to explain other details later.

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I watched, mesmerized, as she shook her head a couple of times, sighed and glanced at me. As her eyes met mine, I lowered my gaze, wanting her to continue without the discomfort of my judgements. “So, once I was capable enough at reading and writing I took myself to the library most days. I knew if I was ever going to get off the street I would need to know more. I taught myself more with books and eventually made my way up to computers. I taught myself a lot of foundation skills…which isn’t at all impressive compared to what you can do…but it is also where I learnt a skill that came in handy with helping to try and find Hannah. I people watched. Chat rooms and such were just becoming a big thing so I covertly watched what people were typing while keeping an eye on their non verbal signals. I began to see nuances between the language people used when they were visibly lying and the language they used when they were telling the truth. It became a fascination of mine…people watching. I think I did it pretty much every day…even while with the little old lady. I justified it as a means of keeping myself safe. I needed to recognise subtle changes in behaviour, mood, language, anything that might signal danger. I guess it was something along the lines of fight, flight or freeze. I needed it as a safety net.” She paused again, glancing at me once more.

“Sometime during all of this, I recognised I needed to get into school if I had any hope of ever making it. I found an application form online to the local primary school. I knew I needed a parent or caregiver signature. I guess this was the first time I ever manipulated someone into doing something for me. I am not proud of it, but I guessed my caregiver would get me into school if I had some way of providing her with alcohol. I know now how wrong that was. She was old and had a real problem and I took advantage of that to gain access to school. I guess that makes me some sort of monster…” she paused, glancing at me once again, a look of fear in her eyes. My heart broke for her as I whispered “You were a kid, a smart kid that needed help…don’t feel guilty about that.”

A look of relief lit her face. “So, I knew I would never be able to get into the bottle store, whether to buy or to steal. I hung around it a bit, people watching again. I knew money was going to be an issue as well. I decided the best thing to do was…well take advantage of the fact I was a kid. I found I could shower at the indoor bus shelter and I made attempts to make myself more approachable. I took my companion with me and then found us a spot with high foot traffic. I played the innocent kid factor. I sang childish songs and spoke with a lisp when I thought it would get us a bit of money. Sure enough, my tactic worked and she was able to buy herself a bottle of alcohol in exchange for signing me into school. The hard part was pretty much over. The school funded my education…I became a bit of a novelty. The kid from the streets that began school and was already able to read. At first they tried hooking me up with accommodation through the school and foster care….but my distrust was too much. I refused, or ran away every time I was placed. The school eventually turned a blind eye but helped with funding simple clothes for school, school lunches and the stationery I needed to succeed.” She paused, taking a deep breath.

“I haven’t actually spoken this much…ever…and not about anything like this…” She admitted with her head down. I reached out and put my hand on her arm. I ached to protect her, make everything okay for her. She looked up in shock. “You don’t have to continue…I mean…I want you to…but I get why you might not want to continue…” I declared sincerely. She smiled weakly. “I want to continue. I don’t know why I want to…but I do.” As she sat back up I removed my hand from her arm, watching her and waiting. She touched the place where my hand had been and frowned, appearing deep in thought. This made me smile. Was she thinking about me? I decided to break her reverie, so gave a gentle cough which brought her back to reality, making her cringe in embarrassment. “Uh, right..so I made my way through Primary school. I had a passion for learning that the other kids didn’t so I was usually ostracised. I think the reason why was because I knew my future depended on it. Every day I made my way to school, every afternoon I would scrounge around for a safe place to sleep. I still needed my companion every now and then, but she never really thought about me when I was gone. She did show some appreciation when I turned up. I guess, in a way, it worked for us. When I got to the age of going off to high school, I had to play my scheme again to get in and for funding. This was now a lot harder to do. I wasn’t this cute and small kid anymore. I didn’t want to get into the trap that I saw many others do…prostitution and drugs were serious problems with many foster kids and rape was a common occurance on the streets. It was a precarious line between safety and…well…the alternative…” She sighed deeply.

Part 11