#i spin my little wheel what to draw next

[naeviskz]

WHIRLWIND ๑‧˚₊ ─── HHJ

synopsis ; you overreact just a teensy bit when you see hyunjin talking to another girl, but when you find out the actual reason why … you try everything you can to make it up to him.

genre 숌 non-idol au, boyfriend!hyunjin x girlfriend!reader | established relationship

words - 3.6k tags/warnings 숌 fluff, (some) angst? pwp, smut, reader gets very jealous easily/has possessive tendencies, small mentions of insecurities, v v v clingy & needy gf, marking, dry humping, dirty talk, oral (m), lowkey daddy kink, hj has a big cawk, breeding kink cause that’s my fave tehe. i will preface that oc kinda has a toxic way of thinking and it’s def not healthy to act this way irl !!

now playing 🎧 : cool with you by newjeans, streets by doja cat

☆ 彡

[ this my first ever writing that has smut in it so bear w/ me pls ;-; i’m still learning how to do this right haha, but lmk if you enjoyed this at all <3 **not proofread btw ! ]

“Let’s go on that one next Jinnie!!” You squeal like a giddish teenager as you point to the ride up ahead, violently pulling on Hyunjin’s hand his entire arm might just fall off.

It’ll be your 1 year anniversary in approximately a week, and what better way to pre celebrate than going to the amusement park and watching fireworks at night? You haven’t been to one in years, reminiscing all those times you were a kid innocently frolicking around, not having a single care in the world. Since you’re a fully grown adult now it’s an altered experience, you’re able to pick up on social cues and no longer need parental supervision. You forgot just how thrilling it was to let loose and have fun, all while spending it with your lovely boyfriend.

The current ride you’re both getting on is essentially a giant wooden pirate ship that swings in a horizontal motion, elevating you high up in the air. You don’t do heights very well but Hyunjin’s a little daredevil who gets off on the adrenaline rush. He’s tried convincing you to do skydiving but that’s just something you refuse to compromise on. Before going on the pirate ship ride you went on the teacups, which was probably your favorite one of today. You couldn’t stop giggling and teasing Hyunjin over how incredibly fast he was spinning the turn-wheel, almost forgetting that you were also supposed to contribute. Spending quality time with your boyfriend like this means everything to you, he makes you feel like you’re floating on a pink cloud whenever you’re together. Like nothing else matters but you and him.

As the day progressed, what was once a milky, pale blue sky has now become a smoky dull atmosphere. Night was approaching any minute, making the temperature drop dramatically— you regret leaving the house in just shorts and a crop top. Your limbs shaking and trembling involuntarily from gusts of cool air the wind casually blows, Hyunjin seems to take note of this and takes action immediately.

“Want my hoodie babe?” Hyunjin asks out of concern, ready to yank it off the minute you agree.

You profusely nod at his offer, unable to withstand the frigid weather for another second. He pauses momentarily to grab the hem of his Versace sweatshirt with his free hand, swiftly drawing it over his head and handing it to you. Underneath he wore a thin plain white tee, now suffering from the cold— but any sacrifice is worthy of making for his precious babygirl.

Quickly putting it on, your body feels instantly warmer from his body heat still embedded into the soft fabric. “You saved me Jinnie, I almost turned into a human popsicle!” Were you exaggerating a bit? Maybe, but that’s beside the point. You’re all cozy now in Hyunjin’s oversized hoodie, loving the fact that only you get to wear his clothes.

His eyes shape into crescents as he flashes an adoring smile, “my diet would only consist of peach flavored ___ popsicles for the rest of my life then.”

You swear he’s just the cutest, most adorable, sweetest thing to have ever walked this earth. Sometimes you wonder how you got so lucky to end up with a person as charming, and perfect as Hyunjin. He’d say the same about you too but there’s another layer to how you feel. You’re often very over protective and territorial over him, needing to know exactly where he is at all times and who he’s hanging out with. Most of the time he’s with you, either at your place or at his. There was a set routine you two had at this point, after he’s done with work he’ll call and let you know he’s on his way to yours. Hyunjin knows how paranoid you can get when he’s gone for too long so he makes sure to communicate with you as much as he can throughout the day. It’s hard to deal with someone as high maintenance as you but he makes it work, he likes that you’re always worried and concerned about him — he’d rather have a girlfriend like that than one who doesn’t care about him.

“Looks like the sun should be setting soon.. won’t be much longer ‘til the fireworks start!” You cheer out of excitement, part of the reason you wanted to come was to see them.

He nods in agreement, “you’re right, is there anything else you wanna ride before they start?”

As if your brain answered before you could even think, “You.”

His doe eyes widened at your bold reply, never quite getting used to your subtle dirty mind. “I’ll give you that in due time, don’t worry mamas.”

A little bit later on you challenged Hyunjin to try the ‘test your strength’ game and of course he couldn’t pass up a moment to impress you. He gets into a competitive sports stance, gripping the hammer tightly before he swung hard at the puck. The meter flew straight up and hit the bell on his first try, able to win whatever prize he wanted from the largest section. He lets you choose whichever plushy you wanted, a giant fluffy pink stuffed unicorn that you held in your other hand that wasn’t occupied with Hyunjin’s.

“Hyunjinnieee, ‘m getting kinda hungry,” you childishly whine in hopes of getting him to buy you both food.

Before he could even get a response out your eyes were already fixated on something. The glowing neon lights of a food stand selling mozzarella corn dogs, you’ve always wanted to try those as you see them all the time on TikTok. Without hesitation you make a mad dash for the line as you drag your innocent boyfriend along for the adventure. As you got closer you realize the lines pretty spread out, there was at least 20+ people waiting but you were willing to stay as you really wanted one.

Hyunjin detaches his hand from yours, making you question his sudden intentions, “be right back babe, m’gonna go to the restroom.” He politely excuses himself, “here’s my card just in case I don’t make it back in time.” Pulling his credit card from his wallet to hand you before venturing off.

“Don’t be gone for too long please, or else I’ll come find you myself.” You were dead serious too, honestly speaking you didn’t necessarily want him out of your sight but you trust that he’ll come back in a reasonable amount of time. Hopefully.

“I promise babe.” He reassures, giving a quick peck to your forehead before vanishing into the crowd.

After what seemed like an eternity, you manage to secure the corn dogs and pay for them with Hyunjin’s card. Realizing now that your boyfriend is still gone, it’s been a good 15-20 minutes and he promised that he’d be back. Now you have to go looking for him like a mother who’s just lost their child. Scanning every area of the park you came across, you begin to feel anxious when you don’t see him anywhere. A range of negative thoughts intrude your mind with possibilities of where he could’ve gone. What you weren’t expecting was for your intuition to be exactly spot on.

There he was standing in front a taco truck, talking and laughing with another girl. A girl you absolutely do not recognize and have no clue why or what she’s doing even having a conversation with your man. You couldn’t move at all, frozen in place as you watched the scene fold out in front of you, making you more livid as it continues. The mystery girl was pissing you off by the minute, the tiny skirt she wore barely left anything to the imagination and her body language was way too close for comfort for your liking. You had to put a stop to this immediately.

Slowly you make your way up to them, examining the situation further. The blonde girl tries to loom even closer to Hyunjin but he backs away a bit, a sheer look of fear and paranoia in his eyes. She keeps talking to him but he doesn’t really say much back, only half smiling and nodding. What makes you pick up your pace at lightning speed was when he pulls his phone out from his back pocket, as if he’s about to ask for her number.

You’ve seen enough, it’s time to intervene now.

Practically sprinting up to them you see the girl perk up when she sees you, giving a friendly wave and inviting smile as if she wasn’t just trying to steal your man a second ago. You’re ready to rip this bitches hair out and show her that she’s picked the wrong one to mess with today.

“Oh hi, you must be ___, it’s so good to finally meet you!” Her voice was so squeaky and high-pitched, not even in a cute way, just obnoxiously loud and annoying.

…How the fuck does this girl know who you are?

“Who the hell is this?” You snap at Hyunjin, completely ignoring the girl’s presence, “How does she know you?”

“I’m— ”

“I believe I asked my boyfriend, not you. Who is she?” You rudely cut her off to reiterate the question.

Hyunjin looks like he’s just witnessed a murder, his own murder to be exact. “This is Valerie, we went to high school together, I was just showing her your freelance work and all the cool designs you make ‘cause she’s looking for graphic designers and I think you’re really talented babe.”

Your heart just sank to the pit of your stomach. The balled up fist your right hand was clenching soon released itself, no longer in fight mode but flight mode from the sudden embarrassment you’re internally battling.

“Oh..”

“Uh, well it was nice talking to you Hyunjin! I’ll go find my husband now, but your graphics are incredible ___ and I’d love to hire you for a couple projects I have lined up. Here’s my business card!” She hands you the flimsy card stock and leaves in an instant.

Now you feel totally ridiculous for almost causing a scene and cursing out the girl and your boyfriend for just wanting to promote your work. You owe him an apology big time.

“I thought you were…”

“Flirting with another girl, seriously? You think I have a death wish or something? Of course I’d never try something like that. The first thing she saw was you as my lock screen when I checked the time. Plus she’s married, I don’t think she’d be that dumb.” Hyunjin further proves his case, making sure not to leave any details out.

“M’sorry baby, please forgive me.” You plead for forgiveness, regressing back to your softer, more gentle side “lemme make it up to you daddy.”

“Nngh! Hyunjin-” you keen into his ear as you rub your clothed heat against his toned thigh, holding onto him for stable support.

You seriously felt bad for acting out like that earlier, all you want to do now is make him feel so good he forgets all about your previous unhinged behavior. Lord knows what you’d do if you ever lose someone so important to you. You can’t think about that right now though. Right now was all about him and making him feel good, but you can’t help but get something out of it as well.

The backseat of his car was a bit cramped as he decided to take his smaller convertible instead of the SUV, not exactly bargaining that later on you’d be getting freaky in his vehicle. Nonetheless you enjoy each other’s company, not needing much space anyway — if anything you wanted to be as close to him as possible. If you could get inside his skin you probably would. You love Hyunjin more than yourself, often feeling like you aren’t good enough to be with him. Maybe the reason you’re so protective and jealous is because you fear he’ll leave you for someone better.

Lazily trailing your lips down further, placing small pecks here and there until you land on his neck, adorned with a dainty silver chain, nuzzling your face into the crook of it. He smells so good, the cologne he’s wearing along with his natural pheromones is an intoxicating concoction. You stick your tongue out, gliding the wet muscle over his bare skin, still feverishly rutting into him while listening to his ethereal moans.

“Mmm.. I love you.” He murmurs under his breath, slipping his hands underneath (his) your hoodie to feel you up. His hands travel upwards to find the valley of your breasts, still covered by the bra you’re wearing he slides underneath the cups to lightly squeeze them.

You nibble on his neck in response, harshly sucking on the flesh to leave visible love bites, you want to make it abundantly clear to the whole world Hwang Hyunjin belongs to you.

“I love you more Hyunjinnie,” you stop for a brief moment to say, “gonna prove it.” Which you will once you’re satisfied with marking his entire neck and chest with dozens of purple and red hickeys.

Even though he’s touching you, grinding his hard length into you and purring out your name, you need more. Craving to see and feel more of him, you tug at the hem of his t-shirt in hopes he catches your drift.

“Off. Now.” You demand sharply, getting more impatient by the second.

He obliges instantly, stripping the garment off his body to reveal the most gorgeous set of abs you’ve laid your eyes upon, he’s so unreal it makes you constantly question if you’re dreaming. You went from his neck to kissing his plump lips, his hand cupping the side of your face to deepen the kiss, both so desperate and horny for each other. Running your manicured hands down his beautiful body, just the tiniest flexing Hyunjin does with his muscles makes you go crazy. You need him to manhandle you, have you bent over and get fucked senselessly.

“Lie back Jinnie, m’gonna suck you off.” You command him to move, getting up from him so he can pivot into a more comfortable position.

He shuffles around, leaning into the leather seat before quickly undoing his pants and sliding them down his ankles. You get on your knees, disappearing between his legs to come in contact with his stiff erection. Tracing figure eights on his thighs, he hisses from your delicate touch. You couldn’t resist planting a chaste kiss to his stomach, leaving another wet kiss to his v-line. Any little touch makes Hyunjin’s heart beat out of his chest, he can’t get enough of you just as you can’t of him— high off each other like an addictive, psychoactive drug.

As you finally free his cock from the last barrier, his boxer briefs, you’re in awe from just how much precum he’s leaking already. His length stood straight up resting on his stomach, faint veins protruding around the shaft. You kiss his pretty pink tip while looking up at him with innocent eyes, grabbing the base of his cock, opening your mouth just a little to provide a few kitten licks. You’ve only just started but he feels like he’s going to come undone already.

“Shit-” he lowly grunts, feeling his cock pulsate in your tiny hand.

Taking him further in your mouth now, you manage to fit half of his length, bobbing your head up and down while keeping a tight suction on his cock. Hyunjin involuntarily rocks his hips into you, making you gag just a little from how big he is. You could never fit all of him (except for that one time you were super drunk and magically forgot what a gag reflex was) but you still try your best and that’s all that matters to him. He loves that you’re always willing to give him random blowjobs whenever and wherever, you both love public sex and the idea of possibly being caught. You take a short break to collect more saliva, spitting on his cock and spreading it with your hand to make it even messier. His mouth was permanently agape, staring down at you with lust filled eyes, not knowing how much longer he can last. When you start pumping his cock much faster along with swirling your tongue around it , he thinks he might just lose it. Panting heavily, he shifts underneath you in attempt to get you to stop but you keep sucking like the cock hungry slut you are for him. He’s seriously going to nut any minute if you continue at this rate.

“Babe.. you’re gonna make me cum if you keep this up…” he closes his eyes, almost giving in to what’s inevitably about to come.

“Isn’t that the goal?” You ask quickly before going back.

“No,” he says, slightly frustrated with you for not obeying, “fucking this tight little pussy is.”

You’re confused when he’s pulling you away from him, moving you from the floor and back onto his lap all in one swift action, manhandling you for real this time. “What’re you doing!” You raise your voice at him like a brat, to which he spanks your behind in response.

“Shh.. relax.” He shuts you up by pulling you in for a slow, sensual kiss.

You moan into his mouth, melting right into his touch like always. “Need you so bad please..” you whine for to feel more of him.

“Tell me what you need, I’ll give it to you baby.” He promises, lacing his fingers in your hair, looking at you with pure admiration.

“Your cock.. need your big fat cock inside me now,” you beg like a good girl, “please daddy, i’m literally soaking for you.” Shameless at this point with how you talk, but you know the dirtier you get the more Hyunjin likes it.

He can’t say no when you ask so polite that. “I’ll give it to you, I’ll give you whatever you want princess.”

And he does.

Once he rids you of your shorts and underwear, you’re back on top of him, lining yourself up with his thick cock that slides right in from you being so ready.

“Fuck you’re so wet baby.. you take this cock so well cutie,” he praises you in the hottest way possible. You’ll never get tired of hearing him talk like this to you, hence why you love to have sex so much.

“Only for you daddy.” You breathlessly spoke, getting used to his length for a moment before beginning to move. Slowly bouncing up and down his member at first until Hyunjin slams his cock into you, walls clenching as you feel every inch of him. You shifted from grinding on him in slow motion to picking up your speed, placing both hands around his neck. Hyunjin throws his head back in pleasure, wrapping his hand around your waist as the other grips the soft flesh of your ass.

“Mine… your cock is mine,” you’re going faster and faster, crying out as he matches your movements, thrusting back into you hard. “Only I get to ride this everyday.”

He doesn’t hesitate to agree, letting you know exactly who he belongs to. “I’m all yours babygirl, can have this cock as much as you want, use me to get yourself off..”

You feel like you’re about to come soon, legs shaking and spasming from his girth splitting you open. “Yes baby..” you couldn’t think straight anymore, “love your cock so much Jinnie..” You mewl from being so full and cockstuffed “mmph.. wanna have your babies.”

“Yeah? Want me to fill your little cunt with all my cum and get you pregnant, hmm ? That what you want pretty girl?” He sounded so pussy drunk he couldn’t even blame you for wanting to any of this.

One more thrust was all it took for the thread to unravel inside of you, seeing white, glowing stars as you get closer to your orgasm.

“Jinnie kiss me.”

He does as he’s told, grabbing your face to kiss you roughly, entering his tongue in your mouth to intertwine with yours. He’s so good at everything he does it’s insane. Maybe if the dick wasn’t so damn good you wouldn’t be half as crazy.

“I’m so close princess..” he announces, slipping one of his long, slender digits onto your clit, coaxing your release.

“Me too.”

Everything feels ultra sensitive to you as you approach your climax, whimpering as Hyunjin sucks on your perked nipples while you continue riding him. A sudden rambunctious crackling sound startles the both of you, but what you weren’t expecting to see outside were fireworks lighting up the night sky. You’d completely forgot how excited you were to see them, watching in amazement as all the vibrant colors morph together. Leaning in to tenderly kiss your boyfriend who was also momentarily distracted, you get back right to business, chasing after your highs. Hyunjin finishes inside you like you wanted, feeling his hot seed spill into your aching heat. You came undone shortly after, holding onto him while your bare chests collide. Fireworks detonate inside your body as they do outside.

As if the universe had orchestrated the perfect 1 year anniversary pre celebration just for the two of you; a perfect moment to seal your love with the glittering magic of romance and fireworks combined. Hyunjin’s so happy to have met someone like you, someone who loves him so passionately and so deeply. He may not understand why you think the way you do sometimes, or react with such brash methods, but he knows that you do it out of pure love. It’s a whirlwind of emotions dating you but he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world or have it any other way.

- 完 ♡︎

[girlbossblackbeard]

S2 TRAILER ANALYSIS WITH 1 BILLION SCREENSHOTS

obligatory warning that this post is gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOOO foolishly long and rambling with all my silly little theories and thoughts and if you ALSO have silly little theories and thoughts you should ABSOLUTELY share them here please!!!! we can clown so much harder when our cacophonous honking harmonizes!!!!!!!

NOW ONTO THE POST (putting it under a read more so tumblr doesn't literally explode):

-the revenge looks BUSTED AF: i don't know if this is from general disrepair when ed is in his kraken era or if she was in a battle but her sails are all dirty in the opening shot of the trailer, and later we see stede on her deck with tattered sails and ropes everywhere, AND i'm like 99% sure that the shot of buttons ziplining from one ship to another is him going from the Chinese warfleet ship to the revenge, which i'm guessing is essentially stuck bc the sails are so torn they would never be able to catch the wind strongly enough to move her. I also wonder if the shot of roach shooting a canon at something is him shooting a canon at her since we had all those allusions to her exploding from samba, vico, and david on twitter all those months ago

-stede's earring: he DOES NOT HAVE THE EARRING when we see him lying on the deck next to roach and sighing dramatically nor does he have it during his conversation with Olu about stede dumping him, but he DOES have the earring in later shots like the beach english fight and when he's talking about being a failure his whole life which means WE WILL GET TO SEE STEDE GET HIS EAR PIERCED!!!!!!!!!! we'll get to see him make the decision to look even hotter and who knows who does the piercing for him idk!!!!!! @sluterastede had a dastardly beautiful thought in her brain about ed giving stede the piercing and stede making groaning noises and izzy once again thinking they're flapping their jacks right there on the deck in front of god and everybody!!!!!

-stede is spilling his heart out ("i let him down. i should've just told him how i feel") to susan on her ship (you can tell it's her by the long hair)

-interesting that there's a drawing of a donkey next to ed's wanted poster considering s1 had the line "a rich donkey is still a donkey". also i can't really read what the surrounding posters say other than "WANTED 20 GUINEAS". is this in the republic of pirates?

-stede says "i will find him" meaning ed may be actively avoiding stede at the beginning of the season???? (or the basic laws of travel physics have finally caught up to them)

-"look, captain, you know blackbeard's gonna murder you" i just think it's interesting that Olu is referring to him as blackbeard again even though ed told everyone in his pink robe era to call him ed. like it makes sense that he'd say blackbeard considering ed is on a rampage but it just made my brain wheels start spinning

-the Kraken crew are eating cake :)

-ed is holding a torch while letting the storm rain down on him: i don't think the laugh we hear is his because i don't think his mouth is even open during that slow-mo shot

-STEDE with a TEAR in his EYE as he says "i think i hurt him pretty bad"

-ed sobbing on the floor while the little bride cake topper is next to his head

-ed choking on the weed smoke i'm ACTUALLY crying, but also: where the fuck is ed when he's sitting in the chair smoking??? i thought it was on deck at first bc above his head is really dark and it looks like the lanterns we see on the deck of the revenge but there's a chandelier too?? it might be whatever shop Anne Bonny and her friend "you two know each other?" run bc behind ed in that chair is just a bunch of random furniture and a chandelier like we see when ed and stede are at the market. in fact, i think ed is smoking with Anne Bonny because I think that's her hand in the corner of that shot:

-"no more booze, no more drugs, and no more _____" not sure what the end of that sentence could be but we know that the "stede" that was put in there is NOT what he actually says!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-"you two know each other?" now hold on a sec because it kinda sounds like stede met Anne Bonny and Co. separately from Ed/before that market scene (maybe in the teaser clip of Anne on Stede's lap??) WHAT IF WE GET THE AITA SCENARIO WHERE ED AND STEDE TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR VERSION OF EVENTS AND NO ONE REALIZES THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT EACH OTHER UNTIL THAT MOMENT BC THEY'RE BOTH SO BIASED ABOUT ONE ANOTHER

-the evil guy definitely got his nose sliced off by Jackie. good for her :D I also don't think the evil guy is Hornigold, i'm still holding onto my theory that the man in the white rags we saw in the teaser and this trailer is hornigold's "ghost" that ed needs to contend with to find his inner peace or whatever a la stede with nigel's "ghost". but i DO think the evil guy is the rich prince dude from that leaked audition tape from rhys's friend. if memory serves, the guy wants to buy his way into the pirate lifestyle but he's pompous and entitled which makes him reckless. based off the production stills we also got today, he still had a nose when he went into Spanish Jackie's...but i don't think he leaves with one. so because he gets butthurt over invading a space that was NOT meant for him and faces the consequences of purposely disobeying their customs, he defects to the english navy and goes on a rampage against all piracy, very MRA energy :/ also, later izzy says to him "you don't know the first thing about piracy" which would further support that this guy just tried to buy his way in

-izzy gets an honest-to-god pegleg but he doesn't start the season off with it because we see him in several shots with both legs, like the wedding raid and swordfighting stede on the beach. unsure if he loses it due to infection from the toe situation or if he gets shot in the knee like i've seen some posts talk about, but @sluterastede mentioned that one of the leaked audition tapes for archie included dialogue about an amputation so maybe that character has to uh. Get Her Roach On

-as i mentioned before with the teaser analysis, izzy is clearly training stede for something and now im guessing it's the english but like we kinda knew that !

-olu is in a bar fight??

-THE "ED GETS CAUGHT IN A BUCKET ON A ROPE DURING THE STORM AND GOES OVERBOARD" THEORY IS OUT. THE "ED TIES HIMSELF TO A MF BIG ASS ROCK AND JUMPS OFF A GOD DAMN CLIFF TO GO ON SOME SOUL-SEARCHING JOURNEY UNDER THE SEA" THEORY IS IN. and what the FUCK is the rag man doing with ed up on that cliff hello?????? if my theory is correct and that is in fact hornigold's ghost or whatever, what advice or harmful shit is he saying that makes ed do that?????????????????????? but do note the large rock with the rope around it in the first pic

-the revenge crew is blowing up SOMETHING on the side of a building. maybe to cause a distraction or gain access inside the building? is it the side of Spanish Jackie's?? also hiiiiiiii lucius <3

-"our entire escape relies on this" i'm just assuming they're trying to escape from the english bc that seems to be the Big Bad of the season??

-not plot related but during the rope swinging training session izzy slaps stede on the ass and makes this face (sir??????):

>he also has his pegleg here so their mentorship may ramp up after izzy is out of commission for hand-to-hand combat. maybe izzy was supposed to have a larger fighting role alongside ed in defeating the english but once he became incapacitated he realized he would need to train someone else up for the job so ed would be sufficiently protected. but it also had to be someone izzy knew would be willing to die for ed to save his life if it came to that, just like izzy would

-"i've been a failure my whole life. it's not so bad once you get used to it" is stede talking to ed here? is that ed's hair in the corner of the frame??

>side note: as mentioned above, stede also has his earring by this point!!

-"you're going through that 'if i was a regular dude' phase" first of all, SPANISH JACKIE AND EDWARD TEACH BEST FRIENDS TRUTHERS RISE UP. second, why would ed be considered a regular dude now?? how did he lose his reputation? did he willingly give it up or was it taken from him? is this permanent or just temporary? or did he fake his own death with the cliff and the rock thing so he could retire and live a more normal life?? the swede doesn't seem scared of him at all in the final clip from the trailer, straight up asking him if he's poor and going "back to basics". of course, that could just be a power trip from being one of Jackie's newest husbands (or at least her waitstaff)

-possibly totally minor/just a continuity error thing, but: ed has a red ring. we saw it in s1 as he picks up the rather fine cashmere and we see it as ed dramatically drapes himself across the ship's helm with his head on his hand. we do not see it in the scene where he's smoking (see above) or the scene where he's talking to the rabbit. now, if you'll allow me a little bit of clownery for a moment, red has been explicitly coded in this show to be a symbol of love/the heart, especially as it pertains to edward like his red silk scarf as a metaphor for his heart in s1. what if. what if he. gave the red ring (his heart) to. SomeOne. because.....................because his heart belongs to st--[GUNSHOTS]

-olu, jim, and archie with garlic around their necks and making a cross with their fingers - clearly they think someone is a vampire on the ship. @sluterastede proposed it could be izzy, especially if he's on the brink of death due to an infection and frenchie managed to spread his superstitions to other people on the ship!

-THIS FUCKIN GUY. WHO ARE YOU??? it seems like he kidnaps stede and his crew and throws a party on the ship and drugs the drinks which is why everyone is kinda tripping/laughing in some parts. but then everyone gets tied down (stede to the mast, wee john's hands get squished, olu and roach's heads get squished, and jim and archie's feet get secured to the ship's railing i think??). also that wide shot is definitely the rando dude hitting some shrill high note at the same moment the revenge crew cry out in pain from all the squishing (except maybe jim and archie - they might just be laughing at the others bc they're badasses and this pain is nothing). also don't know what the guy is looking at when we first see him but im thinking maybe it's a wanted poster of stede and he's looking at the description of the gentleman pirate to confirm it's the dude right in front of him/that he's captured?? also i think roach is wearing flowers from the drug party in his apron when he fires that canon, so maybe he's tripping too and shoots a canon?? i need a prayer circle for the revenge's safety at this time

-stede has a bullet hole???????????????? did ed fucking shoot him in the heart?????????????????????????? he also notably does NOT have the earring in this scene but he does have the sexy stiddies (blue) shirt like we see in the other shot where he DOES have the earring. maybe this weirdo dude pierces stede's ear bc he thinks stede needs to look more piratey?? or stede gets absolutely sloshed (or drugged) and gets his ear pierced idk !!! maybe jim does it bc they're effortlessly cool and has a bunch of ear piercings!!!

-idk if this is a coincidence or not but i'm pretty sure stede in his training scenes with izzy is wearing the clothes he wore in that final shot of s1 as he rows to find the crew on the island (white linen shirt, dark pants, brown belt and boots). so either costume changes are happening later in the season, they're reusing outfits like normal people do, or the training montage happens extremely early on in the season

-so originally with the teaser trailer i thought ed falling in the water was followed by the shot of ed coming out of the water on the beach. i don't know if i fully believe that anymore because ed is NOT wearing his jacket on the cliff (see above), but he IS wearing it as he comes up out of the water, so either it's two different events and ed just spends a lot of time in the water this season or he puts his jacket on before jumping off the cliff

-ed his holding his right side as he slashes that dude on the beach so he definitely got hurt in battle but i hope it's not him getting stabbed bc ur supposed to cleverly take the sword on the left where all the unimportant bits are :(((

-I VERY STRONGLY BELIEVE that the person in the scene where stede turns around and shoots his gun into the air and everyone else on deck suddenly draws their weapons against that person is our boy lucius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's wearing a beret?????????? @sluterastede proposed that lucius got picked up by the english navy after getting thrown overboard and that's why we see him in the english navy garb (which we later see frenchie in too?? i believe an infiltration fuckery is afoot). also the fact that the shot immediately after this one is of Black Pete doing a happy little fist pump which i'm choosing to interpret as a cute little easter egg symbolizing Pete gets reunited with his love. i also also also believe lucius is in the shot of buttons about to zipline from one ship to the other. i missed him :')

-okay i know i said in an earlier post that stede running across the beach was romantic but i changed my mind and i think izzy is just making stede do cardio as part of his training lol. his outfit matches the one he's wearing when swordfighting izzy in that earlier wideshot and i think he even still has the scarf belt and the full beard in both scenes (explained at the end of this post via production stills) so maybe they have an honest to god training montage that takes course over several days and we get an incredible 80s powerballad to play on top of it while stede thinks of ed to motivate him or whatever. david jenkins hire me to help write season 3 i have ideas

-i think jim is behind stede as he breaks into the weirdly religious room we saw in the teaser when stede punches that guy??

-ed is pretty bloodied in the shot of stede leaning over him and saying VERY worriedly "ed????" so my theory is that ed got hurt in battle or he was taken captive by the Chinese warfleet and stede was worried he was grievously injured. however, once ed comes to and realizes who's kneeling over him, he gets pissed and headbutts stede because he's still mad at him for breaking his heart, and maybe his hands are restrained/his body is too weak so he can't push stede away. or maybe they had to begrudgingly work together on some mission and stede fucked it up and ed got hurt so he's mad about that idk!! ALSO HE'S WEARING THE CRAVAT HELLO

-ed in buttons's shirt looking so PEACEFUL what the HELL. obviously it's from the same general time as him being in Spanish Jackie's when she's talking to him about being a regular dude and later when the swede asks him if he's poor addkjfajdfhlkefh i fucking love this show and its writing so much. but ed says "no, i'm just trying something different man >:/" so i wonder if this is ed at the end of s2 or if this is more towards the middle as he's still in the thick of his healing journey. maybe buttons teaches ed about meditation and/or the tai chi he practiced with the Chinese warfleet crew??

-the BTS production still of ed with his "trust no one" tattoo also features what i believe is the treasure chest we see jim carrying off the ship in the shot where fang is smashing two dudes' heads together!

-i also think the BTS production still of stede with the beard is early on in ep 1 because he has a full beard (that im hoping someone on the revenge bullies him into shaving off to the scruff we see in the rest of the promo materials) and ALSO because he's wearing a long red scarf around his waist, which we never see again in any of the other promo material - except, however, around his neck as a makeshift cravat:

>it's the same exact material and everything! my guess is he gets his ass handed to him in a fight (maybe against izzy??) and his scarf belt gets destroyed, so he repurposes the shredded fabric into his necktie

-there's literal gold bars in the background of this production still lmao the kraken crew got BUSY during ed's goth era

>speaking of, the fucking hair dye dripping down izzy's forehead in this production still:

*sad clown noises*

in conclusion:

WE'RE BACK BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

anyway that's my second dissertation on less than 2 minutes of content that turned out to be quite literally 6 pages long :)

[dr-demi-bee]

200 follower Giveaway!

Hi! Hello! What!

I am, somehow, 13 followers away from 200! Thanks for joining me in my unhinged return to creativity. A lot of the things I used to do passionately sort of fizzled out as I started grad school ages ago. Save for video games. And while I engaged with fan content for things I loved (ME, DA, etc) - none of it ever pushed me to make content again.

Until Baldur's Gate. And I am so glad it did. In an otherwise atrocious year, returning to tumblr has helped me find a community - and myself again. I am truly, extraordinarily grateful to all of you for being a part of this journey with me.

Thank you for being here, lovelies!

As an expression of gratitude for all the joy I've gotten from you loves, I want to give something back! So to celebrate hitting 200 followers, I am doing a fun little giveaway!

Using this lovely wheel, I will be raffling off a reward for one lucky follower.

How to enter:

Follow me!

Leave a comment on this post!

Wait - I'll spin the wheel the day I hit 200 followers!

Profit!

That's it! I'll add your name to the wheel when you enter, and use the wheel to select the winner. :) Afterwards, I'll be hitting you up to work out the details of your reward!

So what do you get?? Well, that very much depends on what you want! The winner will be awarded their choice of one of the following:

Literary Reward! Dictate my next 8k!

If you pick the literary reward I'll let you decide (up to) my next 8k words published! This could include: a) one-shot in progress, b) fic chapter(s) of your choice, or c) something fresh with a prompt of your choosing - as vague or specific as you like (a line of dialogue, a general scene, an abstract idea - the sky's the limit)! This could include BG3 meta or a one-shot. Requests can be for anything from fluff to unhinged PWP.

Visual Reward! Get something Pretty!

If you pick the visual reward, I'll make you something lovely! This could be a) a gifset or screenshots of a character/pairing of your choice (may require sharing a save file - esp if you want your tav); OR b) a colored illustration! One digital drawing with a theme of your choice (up to 2 characters, non-explicit).

[songofsoma]

sleepless

kinktober day 1: face-sitting

pairing: karlach x f!tav words: 1,374 rating: explicit

read it on ao3

Sleep eluded her tonight, that was for sure. 

Daefina had stared up at the stars for countless hours, hoping their peaceful glow would lull her to sleep. That plan had yet to be wholly successful. Instead, it had left her alone with her thoughts. In particular, thoughts about a certain woman lying next to her. 

Rolling over, she snuggled into Karlach’s side. She was so warm against the chill of the night air filtering through their flimsy tent. Daefina craved her in every aspect. She craved her closeness, to breathe in the faint smell of sulfur and amber that clung to her skin and feel the roughness of her scars as fingertips danced over battered skin. 

Even now, she found herself doing it. The arm draped over her chest trailing the gnarled lines of her shoulder, marking where she had been burnt. The ruggedness of her exterior was a dichotomy of her heart—so loving and tender—that watching Karlach finally live her life as herself only made Daefina fall harder for her every day. 

Daefina turned her face to kiss the unmarred shoulder. She hadn’t planned for her actions to wake Karlach, but slowly she stirred. 

First, she mumbled something entirely incoherent. And after a large yawn, Karlach groaned, “Is it morning already?”

She shook her head, then realized Karlach still hadn’t opened her eyes. “No. I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“Hm,” she hummed, eyes fluttering open. “Why are you awake then?”

Daefina propped herself up on an elbow to look down at her. “Can’t sleep.”

“Do I need to tire you out?” It only sounded half like a joke. But the way Karlach’s eyes suddenly focused very seriously on her face made her realize the wheels in her brain were already spinning.

“Depends what you have in mind, Sparky,” she teased.

Karlach grinned, teeth glinting in the dark of their tent. “Come ‘ere then,” she prompted, beckoning her closer with a crooked finger. 

Daefina bent down, though it was Karlach who eagerly surged to catch her lips. Large hands cupped her face to draw her in closer. Her tongue swiped against Daefina’s bottom lip, begging to be granted access. Who was she to deny her? 

She was practically lying on top of Karlach in order to kiss her properly. Not that she seemed to mind. In fact, it was further encouraged when Daefina felt an arm slip beneath her and was guided to straddle her. 

Her hair that had long since fallen out of her braids hung around them like a curtain. It was as if they existed in their own little world within the canvas of the tent. Nothing could touch them except each other. 

Karlach’s hands slid up her thighs and beneath the loose tunic she wore to bed. Daefina shivered, even though her touch was like sitting in front of a roaring heart, both in temperature and pleasure. Fingertips played with the hem of her underwear at her hips. 

“Take these off,” she murmured against Daefina’s lips, still refusing to fully break their kiss until the last second. Mournfully, she had to pull away to execute Karlach’s command. 

With a bit of help from Karlach and awkward maneuvering, her panties were tossed to the side.

“Changed my mind. This off too.” She tugged on the nightshirt. 

Swiftly, Daefina stripped it off. Much easier than her bottoms in this position. 

As she perched on Karlach’s hips, straddling her, she couldn’t help but smile under the weight of Karlach’s gaze. Fiery eyes drank in every detail of her as if she were witnessing the sight of Daefina’s body for the first time all over again. It was like this most times. Karlach adored her too much to let any memory go to waste, those were her words. 

Finally, hands squeezed her hips and tugged her forward, much to Daefina’s surprise. 

“You want me to—?”

Her question was cut off by Karlach’s vigorous nodding. All prior evidence that she had been fast asleep moments ago seemed like hours in the past. “Sit on my face? Fuck yeah, I do.”

With a soft laugh, Daefina allowed herself to be guided until her hips hovered over Karlach’s face. She heard her breathe in deeply, unable to stop the blush that flooded her cheeks as Karlach moaned just at the scent of her arousal. 

“No wonder you weren’t able to sleep. Way too worked up.” Thumbs spread open her cunt as she admired just how wet Daefina already was. “Fuck, baby.”

She had no time to form a response before Karlach lifted her head, tongue running up the length of her sex. It elicited a gasp from her. There was not a chance to ground herself on her own, either. Before she knew it, Karlach was pulling her down to fully be flush against her face as her tongue eagerly continued its path.

Daefina couldn’t staunch her cry when her attention focused on her clit. Karlach circled and flicked it with the tip of her tongue until she squirmed. But the iron grip Karlach’s arms had wrapped around her thighs allowed her to go nowhere. She couldn’t slink away from this pleasure, not even when Karlach sucked the swollen bud greedily. 

As she teetered forward, she found herself grasping Karlach’s intact horn for support. It was rough against her palm and the engraved runes pressed into her skin, most likely forming indentations. She didn’t care and instead grasped it for dear life.

In turn, it made Karlach moan as Daefina inadvertently began to guide her movements. Daefina was lost in a blur of pleasure as hips ground against Karlach’s face. 

She took it in stride and adjusted Daefina’s hips so she speared herself on Karlach’s awaiting tongue. 

“Gods, Karlach,” she mewled, blissfully allowing herself to be led to fuck herself with Karlach’s tongue. It was nice having a big, strong girlfriend. It was easy for her to take control when Daefina turned mindless, too wrapped up in her ecstasy to think clearly. And Karlach loved it. 

She loved fucking Daefina so well that she couldn’t think. She loved it when she had to take over, assisting in every move of her hips to allow that satisfaction to continue. But, she also loved what Daefina did when her body just took over. Like now as she ground herself against Karlach, tongue still buried deep inside her. Every roll made Karlach’s nose bump against her clit, intensifying the feeling.

Daefina used her grip on her horn to press herself harder into her, moaning and gasping into the silent night as she clawed her way to the peak. And when her rhythm stuttered, Karlach anchored her in place and lapped at her clit like it was her last meal. 

It was more than enough to send her crashing into a climax.

She trembled and panted as the orgasm electrified every fiber of her being. And as she hunched forward, struggling to recover, Karlach continued to milk out every last bit of pleasure there could be had.

Daefina struggled to even out her breath, slowly coming to her senses again. She had enough to realize she was probably suffocating Karlach and scrambled backward to sit on her chest. Her lover seemed to be in a daze judging by the smile so big it threatened to crack her cheeks and a look of pure adoration in her eyes.

“That was fucking awesome,” she said dreamily. The bottom half of her face glistened and she seemed to be in no rush to clean herself up.

“I don’t know who enjoyed that more. Me or you,” Daefina mused, grabbing her discarded shirt to wipe Karlach’s face. 

“Oh, definitely me. Successfully fulfilled a fantasy I had no idea I had until now.” Her hands fell back onto Daefina’s thighs, not protesting as she was cleaned up. 

She snorted as she slid back down Karlach’s body to straddle her hips once more. “Glad I could help. Though, I’m not sure I can sleep after this.”

Karlach batted her hand away and caught the back of her head, pulling her down into a crushing kiss. “There’s no way I’m letting either of us get any sleep now. That’s a promise.”

[vykio]

The game is flash fic Saturday and @merceyca and @billdenbrough and I spun a wheel with these reverse trope prompts. I got dating my enemy's sibling and jane pitched jeremy and neil and I have many thoughts on their potential dynamic HAHA but here's a little AU type thing about it—which I added to LOOL it is now 800 words and some change

“I don’t hate Neil,” Jeremy says, which must be as unconvincing as it sounds if the flat look Cat gives him is any indication. The thing is, he doesn’t, really, because Jeremy thinks hate is an emotion that takes far too much energy, and Neil hasn’t technically done anything to him that would warrant hating him. “I don’t. He and I just…”

“Do whatever the opposite of getting along like a house on fire is?” Cat says casually. She rolls her shoulder back then lifts the sleeveless cup of her dress again with a sigh. It’s been making her uncomfortable all night and it’s the only thing she can do to bear it. She hadn’t chosen to wear the dress tonight but her mother hadn’t given her a choice. Jeremy gives her a sheepish look, wishing he could do something for her, and she waves it off. 

Next to her, Laila shakes her head. She puts one of every buffet option she wants on her own plate, and everything she thinks she’ll like on Cat and Jeremy’s plates, for them to taste first. “More like Jeremy is the house and Nathaniel is the looming forest fire that lights him up,” Laila suggests. Her side-eye is extremely judgemental, which Jeremy thinks is unfair and untrue. Jeremy is always polite first when they’re forced into interaction, and Neil is often aloof or not secretive about the contempt he holds for Jeremy—and Jeremy can’t pinpoint when in the last year Neil became this way.

("Is Neil mad at me?" Jeremy asks Jean once, after an awkward greeting with Neil in their living room. It had  been stilted, but Neil's gaze on him had been intense, as if he'd been waiting for Jeremy to mess up—something. Jeremy wracks his brain to see where he might've misstepped with Neil, but then Jean turns towards him abruptly, bumping chest to chest and knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Hey," Jeremy says, surprised, then "Hey," more suave, with a flirtatious grin. "You don't have to bump into me to get my attention anymore."

Jean rolls his eyes and mumbles, "I've never done that." He exhales, his eyes doing a slow scan of Jeremy's face before he speaks again. "He is not mad at you. He's just weird. I will tell him to be—" Jean waves his hand, searching for words. He settles on, "—less weird."

Jeremy lets out a nervous laugh because he doesn’t know what else to say to that. Though Jean apparently followed through on his promise because now Neil is more careful about being openly wary of Jeremy where Jean can see him.)

“Neil,” Jeremy says to Laila automatically, as Neil has spent much time telling them he prefers the shorter name. 

“And you know what?” Cat spins the spoon in the air once, as if it might draw her thoughts up more clearly. She points at him with the spoon when she lands on what she wants to say. “I don’t even know the full extent of the beef you have with him.”

Before Jeremy can tell her he doesn’t either, there’s commotion at the door that steals their attention. They turn to find a swarm of bodies greeting the Moreau business moguls as they arrive at the charity event with their two children in tow. Jeremy smiles and waves at Jean when he spots him, and Jeremy can see from here how he lights up. Jean is halfway to him when he gets accosted by another guest. That leaves Neil clear in his line of sight. Neil stares so Jeremy stares back, and Jeremy refuses to look away first. Jeremy lifts his hand to wave stiffly at Neil, who rolls his eyes at him, and Jeremy doesn’t hold on to emotions like irritation but they do flare up when someone is being rude. Neil turns away before Jeremy’s fake smile could falter, but he lets it slip when Neil slinks into the crowd.

“We don’t have beef,” Jeremy says lightly, picking up a spoon and gently moving the food around it so it doesn't spill over the edges of his plate. Jeremy considers adding that he’s a vegetarian and he’s not freaking scared of his boyfriend’s brother, but if 3OH!3 makes their way into the conversation, Laila might scream, which would set Cat off screeching with delight, and then they’d have a real scene on their hands and maybe more ammunition for Neil to hate him. “I have a feeling he just hates anyone who talks to Jean.”

“No, it’s just you,” Cat insists, leaning into him. “He has nice, long-winded conversations with me about Animal Crossing and how much he hates this bitch-ass falcon on his island.”

“He talks to me like a normal person,” Laila adds.

Jeremy gasps, “Traitors,” just to be dramatic, and when Cat grins at him wickedly, he grins back.

[holylanceexploxionboy]

★ ADEN X AKARI ★

*Dick rider central*

It was a late afternoon in New Jersey... And Akari was looking for love, She sits with her sketchbook on her lap, as she sighs looking up at the setting sun.

Aden sits down next to her smiling a little..

"hey, got room for one more?"

Akari laughs slightly tucking her hair behind her ear giggling softly batting her eyes.

"yeah.. sure!"

She says smiling and nodding moving over to fit his FAT frame, and he sits down looking over at her fluffy hair and her hour glass body. She tilts her sketchbook towards him, a butchered Tsukasa Tenma drawing.. He thinks the it's ugly.. but he won't tell her that

"ain't that cute?"

He has this thick gay country accent... It's kind of charming as she looks up at him smiling and tilting her head to the side laughing a little confused

"says you.."

She says tapping his nose lightly leaving a little charcoal smudge on his nose, laughing a little embarrassed by her mistake..

"woah!"

Aden says leaning towards her feeling a little flirty as he leans on the back rest smiling

"you gonna wipe it off for me?"

He says winking, she blushes in response giggling turning away.. playing hard to get, she giggles slightly turning back to wipe it off as he turns away acting sassy.

"oh really? I see how it is.."

She gets a bit gawked as she thinks grabbing his shoulder smiling at him eye rolling..

"whatever just let me.."

She says looking right at the center of his nose, as he pulls her a little closer.

"you flirting with me *princess..?*"

He says with a chuckle as she pulls away from him and blushes

"y-you baka!"

She says blushing shoving him laughing quietly a little embarrassed..

"c'mon babygirl.. you know you want me.."

He says with a slight chuckle and a smirk..His hand sliding from her shoulder delicately down to her thigh.. she gasps lightly swatting it away

"plus ultra!!!"

She says getting up walking towards the edge of the jagged cliff with a smile as the hair blows in the wind.. mimicking Ariel a little.

"aren't you pretty??"

He says walking up behind her putting his hand on the small of his back lightly and kindly but comfortingly strokes her back..

"how about this..?"

He says tilting her head lightly with one finger, care put into the soft touch.. as he raises an eyebrow smiling.

"you give me your number, and I leave you alone.. well.... For now."

Aden laughs a little, used to being used to being pushed around.. but this?She pushes him a little too hard, As he tumbles over his own untied shoe! What a silly goose! As his L3 lumbar vertebrae in his spin is damaged, the sharp edge of the rock hitting the soft tissue connection his vital life sustaining bones. Immediately his body becomes limp.. the connection to his lower half separated, no longer drawing in blood.

"HOLY SHIT!!!"

Akari screams as she gasps holding him in her arms going to find an ambulance

TIME SKIP

After four years of dating it's pretty serious.. Akari turns her body to face him in their shared bed, he looks at her a little bit confused but she smiles and strokes his bare chest lightly making a little bit of a flirty face.

"what..?"

He smiles putting his calloused hand over her soft and FAT one as she looks in his slanted, perfect, blue orbs..

"I think we should have a baby."

Aden's eyes change to pink.. a flirty and embarrassed mood..

"y-you think so babe!?"

He says the first time he's been embarrassed in their relationship..

"I know so."

She says looking down his FAT stomach, her hand trailing down to his to his V line, shining through his low rise sweat pants.. His breath hitches as she grabs his small furry balls.

THEY HAD BABY

After Aden had given birth he laid helpless in the hospital bed he notices Akari is gone... Aden's mind goes to the worst, 'has he promised others a day on August 4th?!' He tries to wheel up but screams from the pain of trying to get into his wheelchair.

"Doctor.. call my mom."

The doctor pauses taking off her baby juice covered gloves

"she's been dead and gone for 6 years"

The doctor says as he calls his best friend instead, clover..

"hey.."

Clover says opening the door on her way in raising an eyebrow looking at his helpless body.

"what's the problem daddy?"

She says stroking his hair as she hides the blatant fact that she's been hooking up with him baby mama..

"Y-YOU HOME WREAKER!"

He says shattering his phone which displayed the messages..

"move it to music!"

H-how could he.. HE HAD TRUSTED HIM..

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

I hope you're having a good day! And if not I hope you find comfort

hey there anonymous; good morning, you sent this to me last night when i was well in bed (sun had barely even set, even; time change makes sleeping at 8 feel even earlier than usual);

mostly ignoring this to blog a bit about the usual thing i always whine-about (maybe it:ll help someone 'relate' or feel 'less alone' but lord knows its just me spinning wheels cause i like writing): the flattening of my mood: like every-thing had just become this one singular wide featureless plain with all site in sight being just the same stretch without pit and without hill: the sort-of landscape that'd provoke NO PASSION and NO THOUGHT equally and just-so also smooth away any great pain and any great joy: which is exactly just the comfort i am tired of, as it:s like some crawling thing that keeps taking more and more, example: food now all tastes the same, too, taken under by that same wasteland plain barren; although i:d describe my mood as being fairly 'up' (there are still things i:d been getting keen about: writing isekai story, the new ABA in strive looks really cool, i have religious programming to write, there is new media to read and watch) it never seems to amount more than a small 'pop' that ends-up nearly always more disappointing than fulfilling or centering; it is like the spirit has begun evaporating out of me through these little fissures in the Make of my material that had let that esprit DRY, KILN, BAKE, ASH out and leave the innerworks of me (MARA!) as little more closer and closer to being some fine spotless beetle of mechanics, and operations, clicking with spring and circuit forward and forward to next task: cook, eat, clean, exercise; count in fours always; pray in mornings, too; it is the experience of life not as a person but as the mechanical, where life ceases to be felt as life and yet as mere experience of time (both four letter words, as it were; vision poor enough they:d be the same grey smudge on the screen; vision poor enough they:d be the same dead bug on windshield before the bugs themselves became rare); my mood has been up and i still have these black thoughts flowing out from Dieth and Daniela and centered around how inescapable and infinite Wasteland seems: the self is extricated out and becomes a paperdoll where (impersonal) you imagine it undergoing a hanging or a suffocating of all air, and imagine the 'ecstasy' of whether the viewer can undergo the felt feelings of the paperdoll as it goes to 100% material; the act of moving limbs to go through with the task, to resolve, to collect the instruments, to imagine the Afters (the people who knew), to imagine all the things unsaid and things yet wanted to do and done undone and the willingness to let self be robbed of 'fate' (?) where death claims its 'natural' (?) due;

very-much i:d just like to write and focus and be left fulfilled, but it:s all fairly boring; i:d like to play the new ABA and grind her in practice mode (i SHAN'T be spending money on games though) and just instead imagine how anxious sitting in a practice mode hitting buttons feels and can:t imagine undergoing that more than eight minutes at most (this is much how writing is; much how drawing is); there:s this alien quality being poured in-to me, may-be byproduct of adhering to Etiquette like the years of slowly embodying an ill philosophy has led me further ill and alien: it becomes harder and harder to find any reason to talk to another, to nurture friendships, to say Hey, to want to do anything with others as it all just becomes more stretch on the barrenland and buttons to hit and mechanical beetle limbs to undulate, undulate, driven just by fluid sacs or what-ever dumb organ drives beetles (for me it:s my yap organ).

all of this is to say: i wish i could be playing new ABA cause i like her design a lot but can:t imagine playing a fighting game ever being fun without having a friend to do it with, and nothing sounds more boring to me at the same time, but i:m tired of being bored, too. i want to be at a joyous tone 4! a joyous tone 4! so engender a joyous tone 4 in your own life, anonymous, cause if you will it surely it:ll happen.

[just-my-type-x]

can we have a colby request of protective jealous colby i know there is loads out there but they’re my fav!!

The Lighthouse

I had to bring in my man Nate for this one. The imagine is not written to match entirely the actual video. Pic not mine

.

.

We enter the maritime museum, Sam, Colby, Nate and i wowing because of what we see. We walk around, quickly deciding to go down to the basement.

"This looks so much larger than the upstairs room", i notice and turn the illustrations wheel to read what each drawing means.

"I totally agree, it's more breathable", Colby says and motions his arms in front of him mimicking an inhale. He comes next to me to read whatever I'm reading, but i mess with him and spin the wheel before he's done. "You're so fucked", he warns and we both laugh

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Did you forget about the challenges? Sam and I pick a challenge to do with either you or Nate and it can be a team thing that we do or an individual thing. I would love to see you on an individual task", Colby mischievously smirks and i sigh loudly, wondering why didn't i already think about the possibility of getting in shit because of the boys. As we check out the basement, Sam and Colby test the EMF reader throughout the room, while I find the wood that mimics the waves.

"Nate, come quick!", i extend an arm and he holds me by it, while i walk on the wavy floor. "This is so fun", i chuckle and manage to run. The guys approach us to see my discovery and i put my foot on the wrong wooden square, losing my balance. Waiting to fall on the hard wood, I'm surprised when i feel arms around my waist, helping me up. Nate's face is all smiley, waiting to make fun of me.

"Not so fun anymore, huh?", Nate chuckles and let's go of me, but i still have my arms around his shoulders, laughing at my clumsiness.

"Are you ok, y/n?, Colby asks, putting a hand on the small of my back. I let go of Nate, who awkwardly steps aside. I smile at Colby and nod.

"Try it, i'll catch you if you fall", i shoo him to the platform

"I think Nate has better instincts", he turns around, looking at Nate, who chuckles

"I'll let you fall because of that", he moves to the side, next to Sam, all of us watching Colby almost hit the walls while walking. We laugh, but the sound of running footsteps makes all of us serious. I look worried at Colby, who gets down from the wavy floor, coming next to me, our arms touching.

"Are you ok?", he whispers, while Sam and Nate talk about the sound

"Yeah, I'm fine, but now it got creepy", i give him a quick smile.

We leave the maritime museum and head to the lighthouse going up and and down on it, preparing for the boys' little sketch. Nate and i wait upstairs with Colby, while Sam goes outside. Trying to stay quiet and not laugh too loudly because of Colby's acting, Nate and i muffle the noise by burying our faces in each other's arms. When he starts screaming "tend to the what" the first time, it's really hard keeping my reaction under control, but the second time, i burst out laughing, hugging Nate's arm at my chest and both of us leaning on the other one while laughing and mimicking his acting.

"What's so funny?", Colby screams through the glass and his amused face changes when he sees what a friendly position me and his friend are.

"It's hard to say what's not", i chuckle, but he rolls his eyes and turn back to screaming at Sam.

Five minutes later, they're done and Nate helps me get up from the floor, also giving me a hug and shaking me around because of the good mood he's in. I ruffle his hair, him faking the fact that he's mad, only for him to do the same to me.

"Noooo, i don't look good anymore!", i whine and move my hair around to make it look better.

"You always do, shut up", he smiles at me and readjusts his hair one more time.

"Oh my God, do you want me to leave you alone? The rooms in this area are empty, you need one?", Colby raises his voice and rolls his eyes while pressing the wig to the bottom of the backpack. Both Nate and i look with a sad look at each other, but i shrug my shoulders.

"Uhm, I'm gonna go see if Sam needs help", Nate leaves and i say an ok before he does, but Colby completely ignores his friend. I go next to Colby and help him pack the dress, his patience long gone.

"That was rude", i say while putting the dress inside the backpack. He scoffs but doesn't say anything and takes the backpack off the small table that was resting on.

"y/n, it got on my nerves, you behave like a couple and it's so frustrating", Colby answers, leaving for the stairs. I grab his arms, turning him around to look at me.

"What? No? What do you mean? We're just friends"

"It surely doesn't look like this. How he caught you when you fell, that he almost kissed you from that position, how you spent the last half an hour literally holding hands and burying your face in his neck and for fuck's sake i love him to death but i would punch him in the face.",Colby's cheeks are red with frustration and my eyes are wide open at his confession.

"It wasn't buried in his neck, first, and second, what's up with you? You used to hype the two of us together, now you're against it? Are you jealous of my friendship with Nate?"

"I'm not jealous of your friendship, I'm jealous it looks like a fucking relationship and you're not supposed to be with him", he says frustrated, while heading to the stairs again, but this time i follow him.

"And who am i supposed to be with, Colby?", i roll my eyes

"Me, fucking me. I've been thinking about you for such a long time..", he stops, turning around to look at me, who i am a step behind him. He holds my hands in his, the shock on my face making him frown. "I'm sorry, i shouldn't have said it like that, but it's the truth", without thinking about it, i lean in, smashing my lips on his. He kisses me back, placing one hand on my cheek, keeping me close to him. Colby licks my bottom lip and i give him access to take control of all of me, his hands falling on my back, glueing our bodies together. I smile when i feel the boner in his pants forming, letting out a giggle. He giggles too, arranging it so it wouldn't be so proeminent. I bite my lip and pull him into another kiss, biting his lip and pulling at his hair.

"It's going to be only you from now on", i smile, giving him a kiss on the forehead

"Finally", he gives me one quick kiss on the lips, before going downstairs.

.

.

After a while, we finally get to do the challenges. Colby chooses to do the challenge with me, while Sam does his with Nate. I slap my forehead when Colby reads the challenge out loud, making me mad he chose to do it with me.

"Sam, are you kidding me? I trip over my own shadow. While my eyes are opened", i overreact, all of them bursting into laughter. We part ways and i walk with Colby back to the lighthouse. We put our blindfolds on and start walking up the stairs.

"Hold me by my shirt or waist or something. If there's something going on, tell me, y/n", Colby says while stepping on the stairs and keeping the camera turned on us. I nod, while my shaky hand holds on the EMF reader. "Oh fuck i tripped", he screams, while his free arm snakes around me from behind. "Don't die on my watch, y/l/n"

"You'd definitely die before me, loser", i joke and i trip over a stair right in that moment. I catch Colby by the waist with my both hands. "I'm holding on you for dear life", i chuckle and he does the same.

"Owwwww", Colby screams when he hits his foot. I laugh loudly and keep following him. "This is harder than you guys think", he says to the camera and i agree with him.

While walking, a cold breeze hits the back of my neck, making me let go of Colby. I turn around without taking my blindfold off. I keep going, being a few steps behind him. Again, a cold breeze lingers on my hand.

"What the fuck?", i stop again, Colby doing the same.

"Hiii", a faint voice comes from behind me and both of us freak out.

"Colby?", my voice shaky, i move my arms around to feel him and he grabs my hand and intertwines my fingers with his.

"I'm here, y/n, I'm not leaving your side. What the fuck was that?", he asks as well, moving his head around like he could see something.

"It's me", the same voice is heard, this time in front of us.

"Colby!", i move even closer to him, him hugging me at his chest. "I want to go downstairs"

"Anything you want", he takes his blindfold off and takes mine too, announcing to the camera that we'll be filming when the others are finished too.

We get outside the lighthouse, the tour guides waiting for us outside. They tell us they've seen a white mist enter the lighthouse soon after we entered to complete the challenge. We tell them about what we heard and the four of us get goosebumps all over our bodies. When Sam and Nate finish their challenge as well, we tell them what happened, both of our teams having unbelievable evidence.

After a couple more hours of investigating, we take all the equipment back to the car. I'm at the trunk, making room for all the backpacks and Nate comes to help me with the last 2 backpacks.

"This was a night to remember for sure", he chuckles and i agree, still a little bit startled about what happened.

"But at least we had fun. I don't remember the last time i laughed that much", we laugh and i hear someone clear his voice behind me. I don't have time to look around, but i feel Colby hugging me from behind, leaning his body on mine, his chest touching my back. "Hi, Colby", i giggle and turn around to look at him and then at Nate, who looks really confused.

"Please don't steal her away from me with your jokes. You know how much i love your jokes", Colby tells Nate and he laughs at his statement.

"Never, brother. I'll see you in the car, lovebirds", Nate leaves us some privacy and i turn around to hug Colby.

"Give him a break", i laugh and lean in to kiss him. He kisses me back, his hand moving on my ass, squeezing it.

"I'll torture him a few more days", he laughs and kisses me again, pressing me on the backpacks. I jump, letting out a little scream when the music box accidentally turns on and starts calibrating.

"I hate your job", i say, massaging my forehead. We close the trunk and get inside the car, leaving.

[rachelbethhines]

Things That I Use To Help Manage My ADHD and Executive Dysfunction

1. To Do Lists

I know, I know.

Making a list is boring. I lose the paper. I forget to make the to do list.

Believe me, I know.

I've been there, but trust me it does help once you get into the habit.

Here's some tips on how to get started

Try making your list in a digital app or a document file so you don't lose it

Sticky notes in a place you're sure to see them

An erasable board like a marker board or a chalkboard that you keep up in a specific place and never move. Like on the wall or the fridge.

Put "make 'to do' list" on the to do list so you don't forget to do it

Set aside a certain time to fill out or check off the list each day. Consistency is key.

Use calendars, alarms, and timers liberally to keep track of appointments and to manage your time so you don't hyper-focus on something to the determinant of more important things

But be flexible for things that don't have deadlines or appointments. Don't beat yourself up if something doesn't get done, just add it back onto the list for next time

2. Randomizers

Part of the problem with executive dysfunction is being overwhelmed by choice. So I keep a few randomizer websites booked marked that I use regularly

Wheel pickers

List randomizers

Random number generators

Like I keep my list of projects on a wheel picker app. And my chores that I don't have deadlines for on another. When making my to do list I'll spin the wheel to pick the project or chore that I'm going to work on that day.

I do the same when picking out albums to listen to or movies to watch so I don't go doom scrolling while wasting time deciding.

3. Meal Planning

Similar to the above, I take one day out of the week to draw up my meal plan for the next week.

Use this time to take stock of your pantry and fridge. What needs to get used up?

Anything special you want to fix over the week or weekend? Save the recipes to a document or leave a bookmark in your cookbook

Overwhelmed with choices or just don't know what to do with certain ingredients? Try a randomizer or an app like supercook to come up with ideas.

After you've taken inventory of your kitchen and figured out any special recipes you want to make, go ahead and fill out your grocery list

Set aside time on your to do list for shopping, meal prep, and cooking through out the week.

Pre-plan what days/times you are going to eat out or get takeout and work that into the meal plan/budget

Budget not only your money but also your time. How long will this recipe take to prep/cook? How much effort will it require of me? Is there any shortcuts I can take to make things easier, like buying my veggies already diced?

Try using an app to keep track of your meal plan, grocery list, and recipes so that they're all in one place

4. Mental Health Apps

I like Booster Buddy, but it's no longer supported for newer devices. I have also used Finch. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter which app you choose.

The point of having a program dedicated for mental health is to have a handy way to check in on yourself and see how you are feeling. Many apps will offer visual cues to allow you to break down your motivation and energy levels.

This will help give you a guideline for the day so you don't stretch yourself too thin.

A good app will also offer little suggestions and tips to help improve your mood or provide genteel reminders for small things that help with self care.

But most importantly it will help you spot patterns over time so you can better notice ongoing problems or see gradual changes as you get better.

5. Finding and Avoiding What Triggers My Dissociation

This is the hardest one.

I suffer from Maladaptive Daydreaming on top everything else which only makes my ADD and Executive Dysfunction even worse.

For others it maybe obsessive compulsion or a tendency to hyper-focus.

Things that I found that can be triggers are boredom, anxiety, isolation, health/dietary complications, and even the weather.

So here's some things I noticed that help

Set aside a certain time during the day to read/watch the news and then ignore it for the rest of the day. Yes be informed, but don't obsess.

Get your news from actual reputable news sources and not social media! Avoid algorithms feeding you negativity.

If you want to be more politically active schedule time for it, get involved with actual charities or political organizations, and then go about your regular business afterwards

Limit social media time. For me it's mornings before work for about 30mins, and then maybe an hour after work.

Curate your online experience. Block what you need to. Unfollow who you see fit. Social media should be fun not stressful.

Talk to other people! Make plans to hang out on weekends or call/text someone during the weekday. Try to make contact with another human being in some form everyday for at least a few mins, even if it's just online in a discord chat.

Have a book or notepad handy for when you get bored at work. Read, write, or draw during your downtime so you don't start staring off into space.

Keep a short list of fun things to do handy if you feel bored at home.

Set aside time to daydream/worry/plan/meditate/decompress. You need to mentally unwind at some point. The goal is to have that time per-planned so that it doesn't distract from other needed tasks. Getting into a routine with that time will also help.

Eating enough iron/vitamin C/protein ect. Food is energy and you need energy to focus. Meal planning will help with this.

TAKE YOUR MEDS!!!

Sometimes the weather will make you groggy, irritated, or anxious. There's not much you can do about this other than to accept it and just try your best.

You can however plan for bad weather ahead of time. Go to the National Weather site to find out about upcoming weather in your area and to figure what you need to be prepared for it. Try getting into the habit of doing this regularly.

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

A Couple Nights Later...

(Disclaimer: three of the characters in this story belong to me. You can find more information about Penn here. For more information about Caliban, go here. For more information about Azalea, go here. Illinois belongs to the Markiplier Cinematic Universe. The same thing goes for Murdock...but if you'd like to see my personal headcanons on him, go here. Ness belongs to the creators of the FNAF movie; I've got some headcanons on him too, which can be found here.)

(Also, for more information on the mob Murdock, Caliban, and Azalea work for, go here.)

(This is yet another gift from me to @insane4fandoms. Just a little something in return for them remembering my fanmade egos in their lovely drawings. Please give them a follow and boost their art! You won't regret it!)

(One more thing: this story is an epilogue to my latest work. You can find that story here; it has some clarifying details...)

(Trigger Warnings: implied murder/death, implied violence, descriptions of illegal business, implied cannibalism, cravings/hunger pangs, mentions of knives/blades, mentions of poisoning, mentions of blood, eating/drinking, anxiety/paranoia, implied past trauma, strong language. Please let me know if I missed anything.)

The sun was setting again, as it tended to do. The remaining light shone between the trunks of a nearby copse of trees, casting long shadows to stretch over the road. 

That was what made Penn question if he and Illinois had left one desert only to end up in another: the trees. That is, he knew logically that this county was in one of the dryer parts of the States, and any trees growing here had more than likely been planted by the locals. Once Illinois drove to a less populated part of town, there wouldn't be much in the fields besides sagebrush. 

But right here, right now, all the trees and hills were a huge change from the cacti and rock spires. 

It was refreshing. 

It reminded him that he and his companion were closer to their respective homes than before.

It reminded him that they were at least a thousand miles away from that cavern. 

(As for the horrific thing they’d found in said cavern. . .well, the duo had stopped at two more hotels by now, and Penn thankfully hadn’t seen any maladjusted figures looming outside the windows in either of them. The combination of a threat and a promise was still fresh in his mind, yet part of him was somehow sure that it’d be a long time before that monster made good on it.)

Just one more day, Penn thought as he shifted in the passenger seat. Just one more stop at one more hotel, and then we’ll be back sometime tomorrow.

The Warden hung from the rearview mirror, silent and creepy as ever. While Illinois’ personal rituals included hanging it on the doorknob of whatever bedroom he slept in for the night, he usually moved it to his breast pocket the next day. Ever since that one terrifying night, however, he’d made sure to keep it in the open, as to let its protective juju slowly but surely cleanse the surreal dread from his and his friend’s minds. 

Penn wasn’t quite sure how, but that strategy seemed to be working. 

He reached up and gingerly poked the little totem, making it sway to and fro. Illinois glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, then took one hand off the steering wheel and poked it himself. The odd game of makeshift tetherball only lasted a moment, but it still brought a smile to both the adventurer and paleontologist’s faces.

As the jeep descended a small hill, its passengers were treated to the sight of a fork in the road, the section of grass between the two pathways adorned by a large blue sign.

The top-half silently announced NEXT REST AREA—20 MILES in bold, white letters. The bottom-half, meanwhile, displayed a row of universal symbols: a gas pump, ATM, WiFi, a bed, a plate with cutlery on either side. . .and an arrow.

“Right on cue,” Illinois remarked, the wheel spinning in his grasp as he edged in the pointed direction.

___

The car’s headlights caught a pair of raccoons up ahead, waddling on their hind-legs and fidgeting with their weird little hands as they sniffed at a lumpy mound of. . .something that sat right on the seam between asphalt and grass. 

Murdock tapped at the center of the steering wheel; the horn’s blare was short and quick, but it still made Azalea flinch in the passenger seat. Just behind her, Caliban did the same, instinctually grabbing Snare and holding him to his chest. The raccoons each let out a startled squeal as they scampered off into the nearby trees, their striped tails swaying back and forth.

Azalea stared after them before raising an eyebrow at her accomplice. “What was that for?”

“Yeah, they weren’t even in the way,” Caliban chimed in, his crimson leather jacket sliding against the similar material of his seat. 

There was actually a fourth passenger here, but only in a technical sense, considering he’d been crammed into a hidden compartment in the trunk. And while that probably would’ve led to a chorus of dull thumps and muffled shouts, he wasn’t really capable of complaining. 

Or moving. 

Or breathing.

Murdock lifted his chin, glancing at the backseat as he shrugged. “Well, if we make a pit-stop, I thought I might as well scare off the competition for you, Cal.” 

Caliban tilted his head, unable to stop the confusion from creeping onto his features. It only lasted a few seconds before the hitman eased on the brake pedal, ever-so-slightly slowing down as the car drew closer to the rancid pile that the raccoons had been examining. 

“Well, that’s very thoughtful of you, ‘Doc,” Caliban replied, now understanding as he rolled his eyes, lips quirking into a sarcastic smile. “But I think I’ll pass.” 

“I thought you were hungry?” Murdock hummed as he picked up speed yet again. 

Caliban nodded. "That’s right. Hungry, not desperate.”

Murdock huffed a laugh, black-tinted glasses shuddering on his face. “Said the cannibal.”

“Exactly! I eat people, not roadkill or garbage.”

“Eh, not so sure about that last part. You’ve helped me get rid of some real scumbags before. Besides, you follow your feeding schedule like some kind of religion.”

Caliban paused. “. . .Okay, that’s fair. But the point still stands! If I’m gonna eat anything, it at least has to be somewhat fresh.”

He then leaned forward, resting one hand on the back of the driver-seat, still focusing on the rearview mirror; if he looked closely enough, he could make out his companion’s dark brown eyes behind his shades. He could make out the way they glinted with morbid humor and a challenging air. 

Caliban made sure to return the unconventional vibes tenfold. Joking with Murdock could be a gamble sometimes, but that was what made the dynamic between the two of them fun.

“I mean, that stuff might’ve been part of a person at one point,” Murdock mentioned. “It’s not like we got a good look at it, but I could turn around—”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Azalea interjected, reaching over to flick him on the side of the head.

Caliban snickered, flashing a big grin his sister’s way. Azalea smiled right back, firmly ignoring the offended hitman noises.

The snickers and grin died down, however, as his stomach started churning with a hollow ache.

The presence of a fresh corpse stowed away further behind him didn’t do many favors. But then, that target was off limits. Yeah, his organs could still be harvested to make a nice little profit on the Black Market, but they’d already been tainted enough to effect the prices. (He’d been given a hefty dose of batracotoxin courtesy of Azalea. Not that Caliban was blaming her; poison was her personal signature. She’d just been doing her job, just like he and Murdock had been a little while ago.) 

That wasn’t quite what annoyed him, though. 

What annoyed him was the fact that the target had been working with a crony when the trio had tracked him down to the dilapidated lakehouse he’d apparently been using as a hideout. 

The aforementioned crony had looked very healthy (read: appetizing) and had screamed and struggled in such an exciting way when Caliban and Murdock corned him on the pier, taking turns stabbing and slicing to interrogate him.

The smell of blood had been so heavy and rich in the air.

The red splatters had looked so dark and deep.

The adrenaline-high had been awesome, as was the anticipation of eventually getting to eat a very well-earned meal. . .and then some LAZY BASTARD OF AN ALLIGATOR had decided to JUST LUNGE UP from the water, clamp its jaws around the crony’s neck, and dive back down again in LESS THAN THREE SECONDS! 

Because APPARENTLY, when you’re a creature that nature has given so many deadly gifts for HUNTING YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD that you barely even had to evolve since prehistoric times, you STILL find it easier to STEAL from hard-working contract-killers who are just trying to earn their keep and get some fresh air. 

Caliban sighed through his nose, leaning back and propping his elbow up to rest his cheek against his hand. Snare, like a good little emotionally-tuned boy, wasted no time craning his neck to nudge at his owner’s face. With a smile that was softer than before, Caliban gently scratched his pet’s ears.

Now, he did have some well-preserved, perfectly edible human remains at home, hidden in that huge chest freezer in the corner of his abandoned-subway-tunnel-office-den. But he, his sister, and their mutual companion still had a ways to go before they returned to the Cove Port Inlets. 

This certainly wasn’t the first time his cravings had acted up, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, either. This wasn’t even the worst instance; the emptiness wasn’t wracked with gnawing and pinching sensations for flavor (pun vERY MUCH INTENDED) just yet. It would get to that point if left unchecked for another hour or so, but that wasn’t going to happen. 

Things like beef, chicken, pork, or fish may not have been as savory as Caliban’s addiction, but they were good enough. So long as he got a bite to eat in general, he’d be fine. Sure, part of his mind wouldn’t know peace until he cooked up some pieces of human-person, but his stomach wouldn’t twist and growl and beg. Not for a while, at least.

Gravel ground beneath the tires. Bright, artificial light streamed in through the windows.

“‘Sparky’s,’” Azalea announced, reading off the sign that stood tall before a tidy little building that carried the exact same aesthetic of all roadside diners in the known world. “Looks nice enough. Have you been here before?”

Murdock nodded as he maneuvered into a space on the very edge of the parking lot. “A few times to test the waters, yeah. There’s no cameras anywhere outside the entrance, and even if there were, not many people stop here at hours like this.” 

Caliban made sure to crack both of the backseat windows open before the engine stopped rumbling. He then tugged his black hoodie off over his head, leaving its sleeves tucked into those of his jacket. He draped the clothing-combo over the vacant seat beside him. Snare promptly scurried over, flopping down and curling up on the makeshift nest. 

Caliban chuckled, reaching over to pet the hare’s fur one more time before heaving the car’s door open and stepping out.

Azalea stood at his side soon after, fidgeting in place, clearly still full of energy from the kill. The two of them shared another grin; it helped keep the awkwardness at bay as they waited on their accomplice. 

Varying shades of red weren’t part of The Pentas Family’s signature just because of the flower it’d been named after. Red was a very convenient color. Wear it to a kill and no-one would be any the wiser (especially not if you combined it with black). 

Murdock was aware of this, almost always wearing his currant-colored turtleneck and ebony overcoat when working on gruesome assignments. And yet he still remained in the car for another minute or two, elbows knocking against the ceiling and window as he took off both articles. 

He then leaned over the center console to pop the glove compartment open and fished out a bundle of dark fabric adorned by a pattern of gray leaves and orange petals. 

Once he finally emerged into the cool nighttime air, the hitman looked almost nothing like himself. 

His tinted glasses were gone too, replaced by a headband that was wider and stretchier than the cherry-tinted one Azalea was wearing. It mainly kept Murdock’s nearly shoulder-length raven hair back, but the white-as-snow material gave it an ambiguously medical look. Murdock pulled one side of it down in order to cover his right eye. 

Or, to cover the misalignment of his right eye. The way it was turned to the right as though he was looking as something sideways.

It wasn’t like his right eye was infected; it wasn’t even useless. It could still blink and see. . .it just couldn’t move around in its socket like the left one. Sure, it was a bit jarring to look at, but not too jarring in the grand scheme of things. 

Still, it was very understandable for Murdock to always keep it hidden. And that wasn’t even due to how needlessly judgemental other people could be.

No, his eye had been damaged in his former life (due to a near-death paragliding incident that he proudly enthralled any newcomers to the mob with), before he’d discovered his skill and passion for killing. All the pain that had apparently come with it...

It’d been a type of rebirth for him. There was no questioning the significance. 

(Although Murdock hadn’t appreciated Caliban’s thoughts on the matter. Which was just another way of saying that Murdock didn’t appreciate comedy. Not even the eloquent, well-thought-out masterpieces of wordplay.)

“. . .Damn,” Caliban had murmured, thoughtfully drumming his nails on mahogany. “I know people just throw words like ‘legendary’ around for almost anything these days, but that. . .that story really does feel like a mash-up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar-bombed nine-year-old.”

“An inspiration to everyone, me.” Murdock had grinned, the definition of cocky as he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms behind his head. “Anyone can survive Death Gulch if they WANT to. If they want to BADLY ENOUGH.”

“Words to live by,” Caliban agreed, his eyes shifting about. 

The Pentas Family’s base was a lot like the dens he and his sister now worked out of. Hidden underground, once part of the subway-tunnel-system that had died quite a while ago. It was bigger than the other dens down here, able to fit more furniture along the walls, like the table in the corner that he and his accomplice were sitting at. 

But just like all the other dens, the base came with relative darkness and a slight chill in the air. 

The darkness and that chill. . .they were part of his and Azalea’s lives now, as fundamental as oxygen. 

They now made their way with blood and blades and screams and secrets, and that was more than fulfilling enough after all the things they’d gone through together. 

And it was all thanks to Murdock. (Yes, The Boss had obviously contributed, but meeting the hitman who sat across from him had been the thing to really put the change into motion.)

Caliban had licked his lips, his smile stretching wider to reveal his teeth. To reveal the new silver one that glinted more than the rest. “I guess that really must’ve. . .shifted your view on things, huh?”

Murdock froze, which was the green light for Caliban to start giggling. His shoulders slumped. Even with his shades on, it was very obvious that he was now questioning some of the choices he’d made to get to this point. 

Murdock heaved a long-suffering sigh. “There’s something very wrong with you.”

“Pot-Kettle-Black, ‘Doc!” Caliban, whose giggles had quickly transitioned to cackles, replied. “C’mon, that was a good one! You can’t deny that!”

“I can, and I will,” Murdock retorted, getting dangerously close to tipping his chair over. . .

Azalea pulled the glass door open, eliciting that well-known whoosh. Caliban felt a rush of cool air as he followed his sister into the diner, Murdock right behind him. A little bell suspended above the threshold let out a chipper jingle. 

The walls followed a simple wood-panel design, though the powder blue paintjob on the windowpanes gave it a little more personality. Cushy leather booths were lined up here and there; a small pendant lamp hung over each table, some flickering more than others.

A coffee-bar stood across the building, separating the main dining area from an aluminum door that had to lead to the kitchen. 

True to Murdock’s word, the joint was pretty empty. A muffled chorus of clinks, footsteps, and running water that leaked through the kitchen door was the only sign that anyone else might be here. 

Along with the voice that called, “Sit wherever you like! I’ll be out in a just a sec!”

Murdock pursed his lips and shrugged. Following standard protocol, the three contract-killers claimed a spot that was closest to the entrance.

The kitchen door swung open and a man came strolling out, dressed in a white button-down with sections on the collar and sleeves that matched the dark blue apron tied around his waist. He held a bundle of laminated menus the same way a stereotypical schoolgirl would hold her textbooks, a tired-yet-genuine smile on his face.

As the waiter came to hover in front of the table, Caliban got a clear look at the little nametag pinned to his breast-pocket: NESS.

“Welcome, welcome!” Ness greeted, setting the menus down before his customers. “What can I get for you—maybe some coffee to start off?”

“Oh yes, please,” Azalea replied, her brother and Murdock murmuring in agreement. 

Ness nodded, quick to retrieve a steaming pot from the bar-counter, as well as a trio of mugs and a bowl full of sugar packets and creamer cups. 

Once the fresh brew was poured, the trio was given a few minutes of quality time with the menu. After that, Ness returned, fishing a notepad and pencil adorned by a tiny rubber chicken-head topper from a pocket in his apron. “So, what else would you guys like tonight?”

Being a hitman meant having experience some odd emotions. Such as the instinct to keep yourself and your business hidden clashing against the desire for attention or recognition. It was a matter of (very relative) sensibility and twisted pride. And Murdock was a prime example of that.

“Oh, well—y’know, I. . .I think, m-maybe. . .maybe I could. . .” Murdock stammered, fidgeting in his seat as though he was about to pass out right then and there. “Um. . .ah. . .w-what do you recommend? If you—if you don’t. . .mind me asking.”

Even after all the time he’d spent working with Murdock, it still took some effort for Caliban to not snort at the sight. Yeah, the social-anxiety-incarnate-facade had never failed yet, but Murdock always laid it on thick. He tossed a subtle knowing glance at Azalea, who was carefully biting down her own chuckle. 

Ness, meanwhile, stayed focused. His smile softened as he pointed out certain things on the menu and explained. He was patient and polite, nodding along and not seeming to mind all the verbal vomit he was being doused in before Murdock’s mask finally made a decision. He then moved on to take Azalea’s order with not a finger out of place. 

As he watched all this, Caliban realized that he liked Ness’ spirit, even if he didn’t really know him. The food service industry was infamous for how its workers were treated by customers and higher-ups alike (with Aftertaste being one of few exceptions, of course. Azalea was living proof that even a professional murderer could have a bit more compassion than the average Joe, and that was equal parts impressive and depressing). 

If you knew what to look for and how to look for it, you could see the exhaustion and stress behind Ness’ friendly demeanor. . .and yet, that demeanor wasn’t at all fake.

Ness truly seemed to be doing his best, determined to earn his keep and survive, while still maintaining some positivity. It was refreshing to see that type of energy.

Not only that: Ness was clearly the observant type. Perhaps (hopefully) not enough to cause any problems for the trio or their work right now. . .but enough to see the rising hunger Caliban specifically attempted to hide while in public.

“Did your lunch get away from you?” Ness asked, the playful tone of his voice somehow mixing very well with the slight concern in his eyes as he wrote down the order for a rare steak. 

Caliban laughed, offering a combination of nod and shrug. “Something like that. . .”

One part of him was all-too happy to make his typical jokes, the actual meanings of certain phrases slyly hidden under a veil of casual innocence. (The way Murdock’s facade got close to twitching as he side-eyed him was also amusing.)

Another part had to focus on reminding himself that this guy was a waiter, and any waiter who wasn’t used to seeing hungry people probably had a few issues to work on. He had absolutely no way of knowing about his true eating habits.

With that, Ness vanished into the kitchen once more, calling “Order In!” to whoever else was back there, his words hanging in the air as the aluminum door swung to and fro. 

The shy simper on Murdock’s face warped into a more typical sardonic grin. He put a hand to his chest and leaned forward in a tiny little bow. 

Caliban clicked his tongue, grinning back as he offered a slow applause. “Bravo.”

Azalea waited a few seconds before joining in. “Encor, encor.”

The grin fell from Murdock’s features as he corrected his posture and pouted. “Hey, say what you will about my act, but at least it’s convincing. Not quite as obvious as your pun-addiction.” He kept his voice low as he pointed an accusatory finger in Caliban’s direction. 

“Oh, c’mon. It’s not as bad as you always make it out to be; let Cal can have his fun,” Azalea argued, nudging at her brother’s arm with her elbow. 

Caliban nodded enthusiastically. “Besides, that one doesn't count. I only make things obvious when they need to be obvious.”

“. . .When?” Murdock asked, his brow furrowed as a concoction of blankness and aggravation flashed in his left eye. “When do things ever need to be obvious?”

“When it’s already too late,” Caliban chortled, deciding to be wild and add some extra sugar to his coffee.

“You of all people should know,” Azalea agreed.

Murdock was in the middle of an overexaggerated sigh. . .only to flinch and put his facade back on when the bell above the entrance interjected.

___

“It’s them,” Penn declared in a hushed tone, struggling to keep his head down and his eyes fixed on the table. 

Illinois hummed and squinted at him, a spoon in his hand softly clinking as he stirred creamer into his coffee. “What are you talking about?” 

Penn shuffled in his seat and pursed his lips, nodding past his companion. 

The adventurer turned his head, tossing a glance over his shoulder at three other patrons who sat at another booth on the opposite side of the diner. The only other people here aside from the waiter who he'd half-chatted-half-flirted with five or so minutes ago.

“Those guys?” Illinois murmured as he returned his focus to the paleontologist across from him. “Do you know any of them?”

Penn nodded. “Not the one with the white-band-thing wrapped around his head, but the other two. . .”

The other two indeed. They sat side-by-side:  a lanky man in a dark blue button-down and a truly petite women wearing white with a cherry-red headband. They both boasted fair skin and chocolate-colored eyes to match their hair. 

That was what really caught Penn’s attention.

Those two looked distinctly related. . .like siblings. . .or cousins. 

Cousins.

Cousins, cousins, cousins, a voice in Penn’s head chanted, getting a bit louder each time, competing with flashing images of that ever-shifting monster. . .of that ungodly amount of teeth, of what the monster had said about those teeth. . .

“It’s. Them,” Penn repeated, quieter yet harsher than before, willing his eyes to give off the same vibe as concrete in order to somehow beam that particular recent memory into Illinois’ head. 

Apparently his efforts were successful, as Illinois’ eyes widened from under the brim of his hat.

“Are you sure?” Illinois inquired, leaning ever-so-slightly forward. 

For a few seconds, Penn’s mouth merely opened and closed with no words coming out. Was he sure? Or could this be some weird cosmic coincidence? (Of course, Penn’s deeper instincts already knew the answer, but some of his nerves were now on fire, and the smoke obscured that just a bit.)

There was one guaranteed way to find out.

Subconsciously weaving his red neckerchief about his fingers, Penn gazed around the diner before zeroing in on the kitchen door. He watched it, listened to the muffled chorus of sizzles and hisses and pops and other trademark noises of cooking for what almost felt like an hour.

Until the wait—uh, Ness glided back out, this time deftly balancing a platter of food on one hand. 

That was where Penn finally moved. 

He shuffled out of the booth and headed over to an empty doorway near the far-side of the coffee counter with a sign proclaiming RESTROOMS hanging just above it.

He walked right past the table Ness was now delivering meals to; right past those three other customers. Penn let his eyes briefly wander over them as he traipsed by.

In a way, it was truly fascinating just how much you could see and feel in under a minute. (And it was equally embarrassing that whenever you knew that you had to be subtle or casual about something, you inevitably ended up trying too hard.)

Two pairs of eyes flicked over in Penn’s direction, one after the other. 

Memories from his childhood flashed in that millisecond of darkness as he blinked. Those images blurred in his peripheral vision as he got further away from that table, almost like they were trying to physically get out of his head and connect themselves to what he was seeing like puzzle pieces. They lingered in his reflection as he ducked into the restroom and hovered over the sink. 

He’d seen them both pause. 

He’d seen both their eyes widen. 

He’d seen that same spark of what could only be recognition etch its way across both their faces.

Both he and the sibling duo had just barely been teenagers the last time he saw them, and somehow. . .

Penn sighed, taking a long moment to splash some cold water on his face before trudging back out. He felt his cousins’ eyes on him as he passed by yet again.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he announced in a small voice as he sat back down.

Cal and Aza, his mind whispered, dredging up names from years and years ago. They’re here. They can see me, and they know I can see them. 

Illinois offered a slow nod, chewing his lip as his eyes wandered over to the window by the table. “Well. . .” Sooner or later, a bit of expectancy mixed into the contemplation in his features. “Are you gonna go talk to them?” 

Penn blinked. “‘Talk to them?’”

“I didn’t think there’d be an echo in here,” Illinois chided. 

If there was one thing to know about Illinois, it was that he had a knack for taking things in stride when they probably shouldn’t be taken in stride. It was usually his best quality, though sometimes it could also be his worst. 

Penn wasn’t quite sure which of those categories this scenario fell into. 

“I can’t just do that.” Penn argued.

“Why not?” Illinois wondered. 

“Don’t you remember what that thing said? How he worded it?” Penn couldn’t help but shudder.

All of those godforesaken eyes and fangs. . .

Illinois’ brow furrowed with a combination of empathy and exasperation. “Yeah, I do. I heard it all, and I know how awful it sounded. But like I said before: since you don’t know what he meant by all that, then you need to find out.”

Penn couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “You really think I can just ‘find out’ everything I need to know about such a cryptic message right now? In a place like this?” He spread his arms to gestures at anything and everything around them.

Somehow, the diner’s atmosphere remained quiet and normal. For the most part.

“. . .The Walmart incident really did a number on you, huh?” Illinois asked, though the question seemed a bit more aimed at himself than his companion. “I didn’t say you had to learn everything right now. Hell, I know that you probably won’t be able to. I’m just saying that you might not get an opportunity like this again. So. . .why not at least try to give it a shot?”

Any words that might’ve been forming died a quick death on Penn’s tongue. He shifted in his seat, suddenly compelled to stare at tiny imperfections in the table’s surface. 

Illinois sighed. “Look, whatever’s apparently going on is your business. That means you deserve to choose however you may or may not get some information or closure. I’m just trying to help.”

Oddly perfect timing worked in mysterious ways, as the statement had barely left Illinois’ mouth when the universe saw it fit to have Ness reappear and drop off ordered meals (eggs benedict for the paleontologist, biscuits and gravy for the adventurer).

With that, the duo tucked in. It’d been a long day, and it was unbelievable just how much being trapped in a car could really take out of you.

There was much less conversation than usual, but that wasn’t too much of a problem.

Though Illinois hardly ever missed a chance to talk someone’s ears off, he still knew when to keept quiet. So, he fished one of the many old novels he’d collected in his career (specifically The Egyptian Book of the Dead) out of his satchel, reading and reminiscing while he ate.

Penn, meanwhile, couldn’t stop glancing past his friend and at his cousins. 

On one hand, he knew it probably looked weird at best and maybe a little creepy at worst. 

On the other hand, while both Caliban and Azalea’s focus was fluctuating between their entrees and their companion, whose HMS Self Confidence seemed destined to keep hitting iceberg after iceberg. . .they were both glancing at him in that same quick-but-not-quick-enough-thus-painfully-awkward way.

They both shifted in place, whispered to one another. Just a moment ago, they’d acted with a confidence that Penn had never seen before, only for said confidence to evaporate when they realized who he was. 

Caliban had filled in nicely. He looked to be at a healthy weight now, but Penn couldn’t avoid recalling just how skinny he’d been in his youth. (Now, Penn knew he had no room to talk, because he’d had quite a metabolism as a child, but. . .well, people usually didn’t stay so thin after they had their first growth spurt, like the kid he’d seen at just a couple family reunions.)

Out of all the differences between then and now, the biggest one was a small scar that dragged over the skin on the left side of his upper lip. Each time Caliban opened his mouth to take in a bite of food or speak words that just couldn’t be made out thanks to the relative distance, Penn caught a glimpse of something silvery in his mouth, right below aforementioned scar. 

Azalea had been downright tiny as a child, despite the fact that she was a year older than both her brother and her cousin. Right now, her skin was practically glowing. Quite the departure from how pale she'd been back then, which had made the rings under her eyes stick out like a pair of sore thumbs.

And that, Penn realized, was something that had stayed. 

Neither of the siblings’ eyes looked sunken perse. . .but the skin beneath each pair of sockets still boasted hollows. 

The eyes themselves were a different kettle of fish. 

For Caliban, a vague hunger was still present, going deeper and darker. 

For Azalea, vigilance remained, now much sharper and more cunning. 

But there was. . .something else in both of them. 

Penn couldn’t tell what it was exactly. But somehow, he knew that it was very, very wrong. 

He took a break from his dinner to scrub at his own eyes, not hearing the footsteps until he re-opened them and saw the latter sauntering up to his and Illinois’ table.

___

“E-everything was great, thank you!” Murdock’s mask offered what had to be the sixteenth nervous smile tonight as he paid his portion of dinner. Aforementioned smile trembled on his face as he continued, “. . .Gareic would’ve loved it! Probably as much as he loved fireworks. . . ah, w-well, I don’t know for sure. I’ll never—I’ll never really know. . .”

Murdock then hunched his shoulders, forehead suddenly an inch from the table, putting on a truly Grammy-worthy act of fighting back tears. 

A cocktail of sympathy and confusion swirled about Ness’ features. He merely nodded, giving an appreciative look to Caliban and Azalea in turn. 

The siblings nodded right back in that classic Don’t Worry, We’ve Got This fashion. 

And as the waiter retreated once more, the trio made their way back outside, a rather hefty tip left in their wake. 

The shaking and choked sobs up and disappeared from Murdock’s body as he trekked over to his car, quietly celebrating a successful evening of making someone believe that he really was just another poor sap who probably wouldn't survive a public speaking class. 

While Caliban and Azalea would’ve given more sarcastic commentary on the matter, they found themselves having to concentrate on not looking over their shoulders. 

“. . .Why did you do that?” Caliban finally asked, referring to the way his sister had eventually gone over to strike up a conversation with their cousin. The way she’d acted all surprised to see Penn, given him a quick hug, introduced herself to his friend, the works. 

The way she’d ended up giving Penn one of her business cards for Aftertaste. . .

“I should be asking why you didn’t follow along with it. I had to make excuses about you being tired from a wild day. . .well, I mean, I guess I can cut you some slack for that part,” Azalea replied. 

Though that did get a chuckle out of Caliban, it was still laced with a bit of anxiety.

Azalea winced, giving him an apologetic glance before she continued. “I was setting up a gameplan.” 

“You saw that look in his eyes.” Caliban sucked his teeth. “We both did.”

Azalea fidgeted with her sleeves. “It’s been years upon years. It’s impossible for him to actually know about our work.” 

“Right, right. It’s just—” Caliban sighed, running a hair through his hair. “Something obviously happened. I don’t know how it could relate to us, but. . .” He trailed off as something cold traced along his ribcage. 

Azalea reached up to place a comforting hand on her brother’s shoulder. “Hey, we’ve gotten through much bigger things. I know how this feels right now, but it won’t be so bad later on. I promise.” She hesitated for a few long seconds, then added, “. . . It’s not like he ever tried to make things worse back then.”

Caliban gazed down at her and nodded. She was correct; she was taking initiative like she had so many times years before. She wouldn’t have to handle things alone. 

And Penn. . .well, Penn had been a good egg as a kid. Chances were he was still smart and reasonable today. 

Azalea nodded back. “What I did bought us some time to go over our stories. To come up with something convincing enough. So, once he accepts my little invitation and stops by for a visit—” 

“—we’ll be ready to put him at ease and keep him off any scent,” Caliban finished.  

Headlights beamed to life as Murdock took his place behind the wheel. 

Azalea didn’t call shotgun, but she didn’t really need to, She already had earlier that day, and Caliban, who knew his car etiquette, slithered over to the backseat without any fuss. 

Snare stirred, letting out a tiny yawn and stretching before clambering into his owner’s lap, curiously sniffing at the to-go box in said owner’s hand. 

As Murdock eased the car out of Sparky’s parking lot and back onto the main road, something in Caliban’s brain decided now was the time for him to start staring at those glowing windows. He glimpsed his sister looking in the same direction. 

Penn and his friend were still there.

It only took a moment or two before the restaurant became a small blur in the distance, but Caliban's instincts told him that his cousin could still feel his and Azalea’s eyes. . .

@sammys-magical-au @insane4fandoms @b-is-in-the-closet @im-a-weird0 @lexusinsannus @sunny011387 @x-hotrose-x

[alaydabug2]

@sparklenarniawizard

Broken heart/Broken mind

Chapter eleven

(Human AU)

Sophie and Keefe met in the children's hospital when they were little. Because of how long they were confined to the four walls of the hospital, they became very close during their stay.

As the years pass, they wind up being in the same classroom together due to their physical conditions. This makes their bond deepen.

But are they able to handle when life gets tough, throwing problems and complications their way?

This originally had a song with it

So use your imagination or play ot on your own 😅

The song is "Stand By You"

(Don't play song until said for best effect.)

Grady dropped Sophie off at the roller rink. She said goodbye and hurried inside. Tam and Linh were already waiting inside. She ran over to them.

"Hey!" Linh said. She tried to meet her half way, but lost control of her skates. Tam rolled over to her and grabbed her shoulders to stop her from spinning out across the floor.

Sophie walked over to her instead. "Ready?"

"Yup!"

"Alright, lemme go get my some skates."

Sophie went to the desk and got the skates. She strapped them on. She made her way onto the hardwood and tested her balance. Once she was good, she rolled to Tam and Linh.

They waited near the entrance for a few minutes while they waited for the others. Keefe came through the door next, Dex right behind him. They got their skates and went onto the floor.

Finally, Biana arrived with her brother trailing behind her. She quickly got situated and ran to join her friends.

"What's he doing here," Tam pointed at Fitz.

"Babysitting," Biana said with an eye roll.

"Hey, I'm not happy about third wheeling you and your friends either," Fitz said as he pulled out his phone. "I tried to see if Alvar would do it, but he's going on a date tonight." He propped his feet up on the armrest of the bench.

"Never mind," Biana muttered. "Let's just skate already!"

Sophie and her friends rolled around the rink. They rotated playing tag, dancing to the music, and trying to knock each other of their feet.

When some slower dances started to come on, they took it as their cue to take a break and get some water as couples invaded the floor.

(Play song.)

After a few songs, Keefe squeezed her hand. He motioned to the rink as Stand By You turned on. She took his hand, and he led her to skate around the edge of the rink together.

They rolled around in silence for a moment until Keefe said, "I know your birthday isn't until next week, but I wanted to give you your present now while we're here."

Sophie's eyebrows raised. He... almost looked flustered. She couldn’t tell for sure because of the dark room, but she could almost see a pink tint to his cheeks. It made one spread across hers, too.

He held out a little box. She took it from him, and gasped when she opened it. Inside was a charm bracelet. It only contained one charm. A small black swan. Alongside it was a tiny drawing of a black swan. On the back, it read in his hand writing:

"I hope you have a very happy birthday, Sophie. I know you've always liked how graceful swans are and how elusive the black ones are, so I figured you'd like this bracelet I saw when I was out shopping with my mom. I hope you like it."

"Oh wow," she breathed. She looked into his eyes. "I love it!"

He almost seemed to slump with relief as a tentative smile etched his lips. He helped her put it on. She tackled him with a hug and nearly sent them tumbling down from the skates.

Keefe was able to steady them. He chuckled a little bit, but wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you," Sophie murmured. "I really appreciate it."

"Of course." He held her a little tighter.

It was pretty much the same as any other time he hugged her. But somehow... this felt different for some reason.

Was it the way his grip was ever so slightly tightened? The way he almost seemed to be swaying her to the music? How her face was buried in his shoulder?

Whatever it was, she had to double-check herself to make sure she wasn't having a seizure with the way her heart seemed to do that same weird flip. That was surely a new development. Although she wasn't sure what it was. With the way her head was pressed against Keefe, she could also hear his heart beating fast.

They rolled around the rink again for ten more minutes. Neither of them had pulled their hands away. They didn't break away until they made it back to their friends and went to sit back in their seats.

Dex had suggested food, so they all made their way to the concession counter. Sophie made her way over to the table and sat down. Keefe took a seat beside her. She smiled at him. His pupils dilated and he looked away.

After eating, they spent the rest of the night horsing around. The dance music came back on, and they chased each other around.

Sophie stayed outside the rink after nearly everyone else left. Keefe still wasn't picked up yet. Thankfully, Sophie and her parents knew the drill at that point.

They waited until headlights drove into the parking lot. Ro rolled down her window and told Keefe to get in the car.

Keefe told Sophie goodbye and climbed into the vehicle. She could see through the tinted windows as he collapsed into his seat and started ranting to his sister about something. Except it seemed to be a good rant. When he finished, he had a smile on his face, and Ro patted him on the back.

Sophie got into her own car and her parents drove them home.

[saintrocklee]

🌸 flower shop AU part three 🌸

masterlist

itachi stands precariously outside, hands in his pockets to hopefully hide the way his pulse fluttered just under the skin of his wrist. the door to the tattoo shop is shut and the sign is still flipped to close, but there are lights on and your car is in the parking lot, three spaces away from his.

it’d been three days since you’d given him the koi fish drawing and in those three days he’s somehow not seen you. regardless, you now invaded his thought process daily, something that was troublesome and a little annoying, but itachi finds himself unable to get rid of the drawing. in between business calls, placing orders, and further remodeling of his newly acquired space, itachi spent time wondering what to say when he saw you next. which was strange and out of character because… well…

he barely knew you.

before itachi can further overthink the decision he made last night he knocks, rapping his knuckles against the glass window. the door rattles and he sees shadows moving before your face comes into view, eyebrows creased in confusion. the expression fades from your face when you see it’s him and the bright, happy look that replaces it makes him pause. you unlock the door with a click and open it with a smile.

“hi there.” you breathe and itachi inclines his head.

“pardon the intrusion,” he begins, but you interrupt him with a nonchalant wave and step to the side, inviting him in.

“oh no, don’t worry about it! what’s up?”

itachi enters and takes in the space around him, eyes roving over the equipment and drawings. the shop was covered, wall to ceiling, with pictures and sketches of tattoos. he’s pleasantly surprised to see how clean the place is, and the smell of incense wafts over him as a breeze comes through the still open door. you close it behind him before gesturing to a chair at one of the stations. he makes his way over, hands leaving his pockets at he sits.

“i have a request of sorts.”

you furrow your brow at him and take a seat on a worn stool across from him. it’s on wheels, spotlessly clean like everything else, but fraying at the edges.

“oh?”

you’re fighting a smile, eyes dancing happily and itachi finds himself struggling not to match your energy. he wonders if it was because of him, or if you were usually this excitable.

something selfish in him hopes it’s solely because of him.

“my brother’s birthday is coming up. he seems to like this sort of thing and i thought,” itachi trails off and your mouth forms a small ‘o’ in realization.

“you want to buy him a tattoo?”

itachi nods and your smile stretches to show teeth, scrunching up the corners of your eyes just so. it’s endearing and comforting and itachi finds himself fighting a smile in return.

“okay! let’s see.” you spin in your wheel to face the computer sitting on your right and the break of eye contact has itachi scanning around the room again. he realizes then that it must be your station he’s sitting at, eyes taking in all the detail that he can. he’d been so distracted when he’d came in that he didn’t notice the flowers he’d left for you sitting on the table.

or the note he left, taped to the wall behind it.

your area was tidy but cluttered with personal items itachi can only describe as knick knacks. everything was a little mismatched, but somehow you, and he finds himself drawn a small clay sculpture of a cat curled up. it was clearly handmade and painted with an unsteady hand, but still clearly a cat sleeping. you start talking again, unaware of his perusal, and itachi turns his attention back to you.

“we don’t do gift cards, but i can create a certificate? or, like, a coupon? you’d just need to pick an amount and i can ring you up for it ahead of time. all i’d need to know is the approximate size and detail of what he’s wanting. we charge based off time here, but since you’re in the strip with us there’s a discount.”

you’re rambling, talking fast, and itachi can tell you’re excited. he clears this throat and you turn your head back to look at him.

“i’m afraid i’m not sure what he’d want.”

you hum for a moment, pulling your bottom lip into your mouth in thought. itachi glances at the way you hold your lip for a moment, only to look away when you blink as another idea hits you.

“how about this? i can print something off for you to give him, and then you come with him to the appointment. by then he’d be able to let whoever’s doing the tattoo know what he wants and how big, so we’d have a price for it.”

itachi hums in agreement and catches your eye.

“i’d like you to do it.”

your lips part in surprise and the movement once again draws him in. there’s a shift in the air around you, or maybe it’s just him, and you nod in agreement.

“okay, yeah. here,” you roll yourself to a shelf and open it, pulling out a book. it was covered in stickers and the bind was coming apart, but you held it with such fragility that itachi is sure it’s a prized possession.

“these are some of my favorites i’ve done. feel free to, uh, look at them. take pictures even, so he can see if he likes my style. i’ll get a certificate printed.”

itachi takes the book gently and rests it in his lap. he opens it carefully and is met with a collage. every page is covered, whether it was a polaroid picture of a fresh tattoo on a client or just a sketch. some were colorful and bold, while others were just black. itachi senses a pattern in your design almost immediately, the same eye for detail that he saw with the koi fish in his office is apparent in every tattoo. it was obvious you were an expert in your craft and took your time with each one, much like itachi did with his arrangements. some designs weren’t his cup of tea, but he finds himself pausing at the floral sketches you’d done. at a glance some even looked real, and itachi knows he doesn’t need to take any pictures to show his brother. you interrupt his thoughts with a cough and quirk your lips when he looks up.

“what’s your brother’s name?”

itachi tells you, and then spells it, watching you type out SASUKE UCHIHA on the computer screen. you then zoom out to show him the final product and itachi hums his approval. it looked like any other certificate he’d ever seen, just with the tattoo shop’s logo on it. you press the print button and reach back into the shelf to pull out a small card.

“here’s my business card. it’s got my email and cellphone number on it, so he can text or email me his ideas and i can send him sketches for approval.”

itachi takes the thicker piece of paper from you and glances down at it. he flips it over, feeling the raised texture of writing on the pads of his fingers, and lets out an honest chuckle at what it said.

what a godless place! zero out of five stars!

you notice what he was looking at and snort, meeting his eyes with a lopsided grin and helpless shrug.

“our first bad review. tsunade has it framed in her office.”

itachi finds himself more amused than he should be and stands, pocketing your card carefully. you walk to the printer near the front of the shop and pull out sasuke’s certificate. he takes it from you and neatly folds it in half, then again. itachi planned on sticking it in sasuke’s card, knowing that his brother was always weird about gifts so sneaking it into his card was his best option. he couldn’t wait to watch this younger man scoff and roll his eyes at the show of affection.

itachi always prided himself on getting under his brother’s skin.

“you’re all set! anything else i can do for you?”

itachi considers you for a moment, the card holding your contact info burning a hole in his pocket. he wants to ask you something but he’s not sure what, his intentions not even fully formed. itachi was not spontaneous, he did not succumb to whims or fleeting thoughts, so he bites his tongue and shakes his head. you scrunch your nose in response and hold out your hand. he takes it, making sure to keep his grip firm while he shakes it, and then slides his fingers across the inside of your palm. something in your gaze flickers and itachi feels a sense of triumph.

“see you later.” you say, your voice wavering just barely and itachi nods once before turning to leave, sliding his hand into his pocket to fiddle with your business card. he pauses at the door, holding it open before cocking his head back.

“thank you, by the way. for the drawing.”

you visibly brighten, once again letting a wide grin stretch across your face, and itachi leaves, feeling a tad bit more full of himself than he did before.

[sapphicsaints]

sweet solutions

Tamar Kir-Bataar x female reader

NSFW

A/N: I'm still new to writing these, but theres not a lot of Tamar Kir-Bataar fics anywhere so I figured I'd try my best :) I'd love any feedback.

Summary: You keep slipping your guards and Tamar comes up with a solution.

Warnings: Mentions of violence and slightly spicy content.

Word Count: 3.1k

You were sick of Nikolai’s hovering. Ever since the civil war ended and you returned home, he insisted on always having guards with you. The last straw was when he decided you needed two extra guards – even though there hadn’t been any assassination attempts in months, let alone on palace grounds. 

That night, you convinced a friend to tailor you, and snuck out your window with her at night, going to have a few drinks in one of the many taverns. Later, after she’d fixed your face, you stumbled back through your window, landing on the carpeted floor with an oof. You groaned and slowly pushed yourself up, just to see Tamar sitting on her bed.  

“Oh, you’re finally back”, she said. 

“Yes, why are you in my room?”. 

“Why do you think?” 

“You wanted to raid my closet” You answered, swaying back and forth with a cheeky smile. 

Tamar glared at her, and your mouth snapped shut – her gaze was furious.   

Tamar’s hands rubbed over her face, “I have eyes everywhere”, she said finally. “I haven’t told your brother yet but you’re getting reckless”. 

“Who gave you the right to spy on me?”

“Who gave you the right to sneak away in the middle of the night!”

“I didn’t need the right” you yelled, “I’m not some naive little girl”.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow”, Tamar said, she pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your forehead. “Go to bed”. 

She headed out the door and you flipped her off behind her back. 

“I saw that”, she yelled out. You’d forgotten about the mirrors. 

You brushed your teeth, washed your face, threw your clothes off, not bothering to change into a nightgown, and collapsed on your bed into a restless sleep. You never could sleep well after drinking. 

-Break- 

You woke up to knocking on your door. 

“Go away” you yelled, pulling your pillow over your head. 

“I’m coming in”, you heard Tamar’s voice. 

She took one look at you sprawled out, half-naked, on your bed and threw a dressing gown at you. You caught it, sat up, and tied it around yourself. 

“You didn’t like the view?”, you said with a pout 

“Oh I liked it”, Tamar winked, “But it’s a bit distracting right now”. You rolled your eyes. 

You rubbed your temples, trying to ease the headache from your hangover. “Any chance you’ll help me with the headache”. 

“Nope. You earned that”. 

You groaned and threw a pillow at her, which she dodged before walking over to sit next to you on the couch. 

“I can get your brother to loosen up on the guards”, she said. 

It seemed too good to be true, you narrowed your eyes, “what’s the catch?” 

“I teach you how to fight”. 

You shuddered. You’d been able to draw with Tamar once. Just once. And you still considered that one of her biggest achievements. The girl was uncanny in a fight – silent and as cold as steel. She loved to tease and antagonize you too, or at least she used to. The two of you hadn’t sparred since Spinning Wheel. 

Your stomach dropped thinking of that place. You’d gone back once to visit with Nikolai and the twins after the war ended. Nikolai decided to permanently close the base, as a memorial. There were too many painful memories littering that large room, the halls, the four flights of stairs that were angels compared to the giant metal contraption Nikolai had rigged.

You’d barely survived the escape from Spinning Wheel, tagging along with a group of first army soldiers. You’d served in the first army as infantry – following in your brother's footsteps. Marksmanship was your best skill – and you could hit a target 500 feet away easily. It was pure luck you came across the Soldat Sol and Alina’s group a few days before the ambush. Luckily, they recognized you and you convinced them to let you join in on the ambush. 

“It’s my country too” you argued. You proved your skills with a rifle and they let you fight. Alina had argued against you going, but Tamar stood up for you. You’d grown closer since she’d decided to stay at the little palace. Neither of you had put an official label on what you had, but you both understood you were exclusive – Tamar had a jealous streak. Something you liked to tease her about, in good faith. Your brother liked to dangle the possibility of an engagement to you with influential nobles and foreigners as a bargaining tool. He knew not to cross the line and try and set up a real engagement, last time he brought up marriage you decked him in the face. His pride prevented him from getting the bruise healed. There was zero chance you’d end up with some grubby-handed noble, and your brother understood that. 

You came out of your daze, turning to look at Tamar 

“When do we start?”

“I have some things to do but I’ll find you mid-afternoon”. 

You nodded, “Alright”. 

Tamar gave you a quick kiss before you left. You caught yourself smiling for a few moments after she left, holding a hand up to your lips, 

“Pathetic” you mumbled under your breath. 

Tamar did find you later in the library, you were brushing up on some liturgical Ravkan. It was horribly dull but you wanted to keep up with your language studies. She laughed at your choice of reading and put the book aside before pulling you up out of your seat. You were excited about the lesson. 

“No weapons”, Tamar said, starting to off her axes, pistols, dagger, and all of the other weapons she carried on her at what seemed like all times. 

‘She probably sleeps with them’ you thought. 

You took out your pistol, pulled the daggers out of your boot, inside your shirt, and the ones tucked into your waistband. The war had left a sense of paranoia in you, and your weapons almost felt like a safety blanket. You felt a bit naked without them. 

“Your hair knife”, Tamar said with an amused expression 

“I almost forgot about that, thank you” You replied genuinely, and you had forgotten about it. It was a dull blade – it wouldn’t cut through your hair, but someone would feel it if you jammed it into their eyes. Once that was removed, you both took up your stances. Tamar tweaked your form, pushing your front elbow in slightly. 

You felt nerves trickle up into her, you’re a little rusty on hand-to-hand combat – and haven’t been practicing as much as you should’ve. Tamar leapt into action without warning – silent, cold, and deadly as always. Your nerves started to disappear as you dodged the first blow, and the second, the third landed and winded you a bit, but you aimed a knee right for Tamar’s stomach – and it hit before the other girl lifted your knee to push you right on your back. You wasted no time rolling to her feet, skipping the kick, and this time running straight towards her, you faked a blow to Tamar’s stomach and went straight for the headbutt, your forehead smashing into her nose. It was something of a classic move of yours. But, Tamar didn’t miss a beat. She took the chance to trip you, and fell on top of you, straddling your waist. When you kept trying to punch her, she pinned your wrists down to your side. 

Tamar was too strong for you to buck off with your hips, so you just squirmed as much as you could, bringing her leg up to push against a certain area … Tamar jumped in surprise and you took the chance to flip her over, you on top this time. She hesitated too long, and Tamar flipped you so your back was pressed against her chest, her legs locking yours down, and with you in a headlock. 

Tamar POV

Y/N did well in their first round. Tamar released her from the hold and stood up, offering the other girl a hand, she yanked her up, so her mouth was close to her ear. “Good one princess”, she said in a low tone. Her face flushed and she pushed Tamar away. Tamar loved teasing her, they’d grown closer since Tamar and Tolya decided to stay on with the King. Everyone knew they were together in some way, but the two of them hadn’t put a label on anything. 

“Again”, she said. 

They went another round. The fight lasted almost the same length, and Y/N was giving everything she had, Tamar didn’t hold back. It ended with Y/N on her back again, Tamar straddling her – carefully positioned so she couldn’t pull the same trick, although Tamar thought she really wouldn’t mind it. She shook that thought from her head before standing and offering another hand. She whispered in her ear again this time, 

“I think you can do better than that”. 

Tamar saw the fire build in Y/N’s eyes. The last round was a good one, Y/N’s movements were more aggressive, and she hesitated less – but she had some tells. She would give the smallest bounce before she made any move. Although she seemed on fire, Tamar could sense her growing tired. Y/N had landed awkwardly at some point, and even though she got back up – Tamar noticed her wincing and favoring her left shoulder. Tamar ended the fight quickly. 

She stood up again, on shaky legs, “another”. 

Tamar shook her head, “that’s enough for today”. 

“Come on, please”

“No”, Tamar gave Y/N a look that told her it was the end of the conversation. Y/N rolled her eyes but let Tamar wrap her arm around her waist and lead her back inside. She walked her to her doors, intending to say goodnight there but Y/N pulled her inside, closing the doors behind her. 

“Why haven’t you actually kissed me yet?” Y/N blurted out. They’d been flirting and dodging around each other for weeks. Tamar relished the stolen moments, small kisses, and general affection they had together but feared pushing anything too far. 

Tamar’s eyes raised, “Why haven’t you kissed me?” 

“Because I’ve been waiting on you”. 

Tamar reached for her, one arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her flush against her body – the other hand came up to fist the hair on the back of her head. The kiss wasn’t gentle, it was rough and full of passion. 

Y/N looked down at her clothes, “I need to change”. She walked off to the corner without another word and started stripping out of her clothes. She threw them into a corner before walking towards her bathroom, “feel free to join me”, she said turning back to look at Tamar, as she headed to fill up her bath. 

Y/N must have seen how Tamar’s jaw dropped through a mirror, she said “Close your mouth. You’ll catch flies”

Her mouth snapped shut, her cheeks flushing. Tamar wasn’t surprised often, but Y/N seemed to have a knack for it. 

“At least I’m not on duty tonight”, she thought to herself. Tamar wanted Y/N to be officially hers. They’d dodged around the conversation for a while, preferring to show each other how they felt through actions. They’d also avoided anything too intimate – holding hands, cuddling, and small kisses were about all they’d shared.  

She was lost in her thoughts for a few moments before she stripped and followed the princess into the bathroom. She admired her figure, lean muscle, with scars littering her arms and torso. A black sun tattoo stands out on her upper right shoulder. Tamar had given it to her the night before the ambush. She turned and caught sight of her rosy, pale nipples and forced herself to look Y/N in the eyes. 

Y/N  POV 

“Like what you see?” You asked with a flourish, filling the bath with hot, soapy water. You were pleasantly surprised Tamar had decided to follow her. It was your boldest move yet – and she was hoping it would pay off. 

“Yes, yes I do” Tamar’s eyes were roaming over her body, taking in every inch of her. You were doing the same, from the glint of muscle on her forearms to the perfect shape of her breasts, and the chiseled lines built into her stomach. 

You turned and climbed into the tub, waving Tamar over to follow you. The other girl rolled her eyes, it was a ridiculously oversized tub, ornate and ugly. You hated it and knew Tamar thought it was obscene. 

“This is the gaudiest tub I’ve ever seen”, you commented as she settled in the water. Tamar moved behind her, letting you rest up against her – she hummed in contentment. 

“Let me clean you up”, she said – Tamar reached for a rag and started dabbing at your split lip from training and scrubbed away the dirt you’d accumulated during the day. You turned around and returned the favor. You sat, enjoying each other’s presence, till the water started turning cold. Tamar climbed out first, lending you her hand, and grabbed two towels for both of you. 

You toweled yourself off, heading towards your wardrobe. You found a pair of comfortable loose black pants that looked like they could fit Tamar, and a rough spun top. You tossed them towards her and Tamar caught them gracefully, slipping on the clothes. 

You looked out the window, it was getting late – the sun had already set – and they’d missed dinner. Towel wrapped around you, you turned to Tamar, “will you spend the night with me?” you asked, a bit afraid of the answer. 

“If you want me to I will”. 

“But do you want to” You pushed 

“I do” Tamar smiled, she slipped around her and pulled out one of her old nightgowns she never uses anymore – 

“Here, I like this,” she said, you elbowed her but Tamar’s expression was serious. You sighed and dramatically rolled your eyes, 

“If you insist,” you said, quickly slipping it on. You grabbed a blue dressing gown and tied it around herself, “wait here”, she said, heading towards the doorway, “I’ll get us some dinner”. 

You took a secret passage out to the kitchens and saw Enya in there, cleaning up the last of dinner. 

“Any leftovers for me?” You asked

Enya jumped, “Quit scaring me”, she threw a towel at you. You ducked it and laughed. You’d grown up around Enya, and she was one of the few adults that didn’t treat her differently. 

“I’ll send you up a tray, now shoo,” she said. 

“Could it be two?” You asked. 

Enya hmphed but nodded, waving you away. 

You hurried back to her room as quickly as you could. You were happy Tamar was still inside, leaning back in an armchair, reading one of your books. She closed it as you entered the room. 

“What was that all about?” she asked. 

“Getting us some food” you smiled. 

“You could’ve rung for someone? That’s what your brother does”

“I like to visit Enya” 

“You know the kitchen staff?” Tamar asked, without a tone of surprise, more one of admiration 

“I did grow up here” you replied to her. 

You flopped down onto Tamar’s lap. “I hate these rooms” 

“Hm … why?” Tamar started kissing down her shoulder, biting gently near her neck as Y/N let out a small moan. 

“They’re too lonely”. 

Tamar stopped and turned her head to look at her. The other girl shrugged her shoulders and Tamar pulled her in for a kiss. 

“Move in with me”, she said without thinking. 

“I would in a heartbeat” 

“What would your brother say?” 

“Who cares”

“He is technically my employer” 

“He would never get rid of you” 

Tamar just hummed in reply. 

“Plus, he hasn’t quit telling me to make a move on you” 

Tamar leaned back to look at her, “Funny. Zoya’s been saying the same thing to me”. 

“Maybe we’re both just idiots”

“Just you, princess”. 

“Okay, humbug” 

“No”, Tamar started laughing

“Humbug” Y/N said in a sing-song voice. 

Tamar pinched her side, Y/N  squirmed in her lap, “Quit doing that”. 

Tamar whispered into her ear “Quit moving like that”. 

“Are you sure you want me to”, she answered, slightly breathless 

Then, a knock sounded on the door and you leapt up to answer it. You opened it and found two trays left on a table outside, ‘Enya must’ve told them to do that’, you thought. 

You smiled and brought the food in – it was your favorite type of meal. A bowl of some sort of stew, some bread, and grapes. You threw a grape at Tamar, who caught it in her mouth. 

You ate in silence; you didn’t realize how hungry you both were and devoured your food – it tasted like heaven. After you finished, you silently stood up to take the trays back outside the door. When you turned back around, you started to feel shy – and maybe a bit insecure. 

Tamar POV

As Y/N turned back to look at her, Tamar could see the hesitation on her face. She stood up to meet Y/N halfway, and pulled her into her arms, “are you sure you want me to stay?”

Y/N pulled her face back to look at Tamar, she leaned up on her toes and kissed her, “yes”, she said and kissed her again.  

Tamar grinned before picking her up and spinning her around. Y/N laughed, and it was a sweet sound. She picked her up, letting her wrap her legs around her waist, and carried her to the bed. They collapsed onto it together, a tangle of limbs and laughter.

“Can we just sleep?” Y/N asked, her voice quiet. 

“Of course, love,” Tamar said, she pulled the girl in closer, and let her cuddle up on her chest. She ran her fingers through her hair, and slowly fell asleep – listening to the sound of her heartbeat.

Y/N is an early riser like Tamar, she felt the other girl slip out of bed in the morning. She sat up to see Y/N standing next to one of the mirrors in the room, tilting her head to the side. Y/N slowly turned around, hands on her hips,

“TAMAR KIR-BATAAR” she screeched. 

“Yes?” she answered slowly. 

“What is this?” Y/N pointed at a purple bruise forming on her neck, stalking back over to the bed. 

“It’s a gift” Tamar grinned. 

“Take it back”

“No”

“Can’t you fix it?”

“I won't” 

Y/N groaned and Tamar pulled her in for another kiss.

[onelatenight-longago]

Stepping Into The (Spot) Light

Warnings/Tags: Fem!Reader, Depictions of Violence and Torture, semi-soft Buggy, he's a danger but also a marshmallow of a man, life on the Big Top, becoming one of the crew, sexual tension and teasing, romance, finding freedom and found family

Description: Buggy plays the hero just the one time and now he's a got a new crew member who will change everything for him.

A/N: I'm going to double post this story, first in 1st person then again in 2nd person.

Chp. [1] [2] [3] - First Person (below) Chp. [1] [2] [3] - Second Person

“For the next act,” The clown-like man began. “I will need a volunteer from the audience.” And on immediate cue, the green-haired man manhandled Wasp from his seat and into the center of the ring. 

When Wasp’s gag was removed he began shouting and cursing as though he weren’t the captive. 

“I’ll fucking kill you! You ugly ass clown freak!” Wasp spit as he punctuated the last word. I couldn’t stop the full-body tense his shouting caused in me. The way he spat the word ‘freak’, I was used to it being directed at me but now I watched as my rescuer only merely laughed in the face of the Wasp’s insult. 

“Cabaji, strap him to the wheel.” The clown man spoke. Cabaji, as I now had a name to put with the face, was eager to obey the command and as two others wheeled a large spinning wheel out, Cabaji kicked Wasp’s knees out from under him, ceasing his struggle. 

Wasp continued his string of curses and nasty insults until Cabaji had securely strapped him to the wheel, only then gagging the man once more. 

“Captain.” Cabaji addressed the clown as he handed over some throwing knives. 

“And now, for my loveliest audience member, an act I like to call…The Wheel of Knives!” The clown shouted, bowing once more and shooting a loaded smile my way. A shiver worked its way up my spine. It was a sense of thrill coursing through me. This man answered my plea, seemingly made me a guest at his show, and was now clearly positioning himself in a way to harm or even kill Wasp. I couldn’t help the thrum of my heart in my chest. I wanted to see blood,  I wanted to watch Wasp suffer. I wanted to hop into the ring myself and show this circus my atrocious aim. I couldn’t control my feet as I stepped closer to the wall of the ring, sure that my own smile was just as vicious as that of the man Cabaji had called Captain. 

With a little more fanfare, the first knife was thrown after Cabaji began the spinning of the wheel. My breath caught at the sound of it embedding itself in the wood. I was a bit disappointed until I saw the trickle of blood flow down the wood. The knife had sliced through his ear and I cheered. 

The Captain turned to me with a beaming a genuine smile, bowed once more, winked, and then continued on. Each one of his knives knicked another limb or appendage. By the end of it I was jumping on the balls of my feet and clapping. I watched as the man who had tortured me for the last few years, was now taking what he had given. The Captain was laughing as he walked my way, a slight swagger to his step. 

“Come little Dove, why don’t you join in the fun!” He asked as he came to stop just on the other side of the ring wall. I quickly hoisted myself over the wall, his hands quick to steady me and hold on as I hopped down then while still holding onto my hand, he led me to the center of the ring. 

Cabaji was quick to his captain’s side, as he handed over another set of throwing knives.

“Now Dove,” The Captain began, as he physically turned me to face the spinning wheel then taking up behind me. His chest pressed into my shoulders and the back of my head. He leaned down to speak directly into my ear. “You’ll hold the knife by its tip, careful to make sure the dull edge is in your palm.” His hand trails down my arm, taking my hand in his and encircling me as he positioned the knife with his other hand into my palm. “You will draw back, not too far Dove, then with a solid step forward you will throw and release the knife.” He mocked the motion slowly, his thigh pressed against my own nudging me through the step while his large gloved hand still held mine. I couldn’t concentrate, his warmth was pressing into me from all around and I felt lightheaded. Instantly I recognized the scent about him, it was the same as the sheets I had found myself wrapped up in when I awoke. Smoke, paint, and the slight scent of sweet apples. My heart was threatening to leap from my chest right then and there.

All too soon the contact was lost as he stepped back, releasing me from his hold. I refused to whine at the loss and instead refocused on the target ahead. Wasp still spinning and grunting through his gag. I slowly mocked the motion of the wind back, step, and throw twice before taking a deep breath in then following through on the breath out. I froze, waiting to hear the solid thunk of the knife in the wood only to instead hear a much softer sound followed immediately by a muffled scream. I hadn’t realized I closed my eyes, and upon reopening them I smiled and laughed loudly at the sight of my knife embedded in Wasp’s forearm. 

“Well done little Dove!” The Captain shouted happily from behind me. I could help turning on the spot and jumping into the man’s outstretched arms, initiating the rough hug. With flair, he spun me in a circle before putting me back down in the spot I started in. “You’ll make a wonderful addition to my crew!” The man crooned. 

My heart dropped and the expression that crossed my face stopped the Captain in his tracks. Fear began to creep in, I was a captive again. I began to scout out the exits, count the bodies, and calculate my chances of survival if I ran. I was quick and nimble but physically I wasn’t a great fighter. My whole body tensed and I felt like a rabbit poised and ready to run.

“Woah, easy there little Dove. The choice is yours, although I must say, that skill of yours with the feather boas would be a wonderful addition to my show. And make no mistake, I have no intention of plucking those pretty little feathers of yours, should you say no.” The Captain laughed gently, clearly trying to ease the tension. 

“My choice?” I asked quietly, still looking around considering my chances. 

“I promise but what’s a pirate’s promise mean?” He shrugged with a laugh.

I let the tension ease from my shoulders. “You’re a pirate captain.” I said, less of a question and more a quiet reiteration of the facts laid out in front of me. 

“The Genius Gesture himself Buggy the Star Clown!” He pulled his hat off his head and bowed low with a sweeping gesture before raising his head just a bit to meet my eyes, flashing me a devil-may-care smile. 

Regrettably, the only thought I could form at that moment was that despite looking like a clown, the man in front of me was incredibly attractive. I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out from deep in my chest, the final wave of tension rolling off me like a heavy weight dropping from my shoulders. 

“Come find adventure out on sea, sailing with the great pirate Captain Buggy.” Buggy’s little rhyme had me softly giggling. The man was clearly a goof, and dangerous and deadly goof, but a goof nonetheless. 

“I suppose I can give it a go, not sure I’m suited to a pirate’s life though.” I shot back at him with a smile. His laugh rang through the tent, loud and genuine. 

“I suspect you’ll do well.” He finally said, wiping a tear from his eyes. “Come, I’ll let Cabaji and the others settle matters out here.” Buggy said with an edge to his voice, clearly indicating to his first mate just exactly it was he wanted done. 

With hand firmly pressed into the small of my back, Captain Buggy led from the ring back through the tent, presumably back to the room I woke up in. Back to his own private room.

[milkweedman]

Wanted to know how much faster spinning on my wheel is compared to spinning on a supported spindle--specifically, I wanted to compare the yardage I could produce on each tool within a given amount of time. I chose to use my russian supported spindle because it was next to me and empty, and spun on a 13.5:1 drive ratio (the medium whorl) since thats what my wheel was already set to (and to be fair, i rarely use another ratio). I spun some nice gray roving because i didnt want to use hand prepped fiber for it.

The experiment was thus: I set up my spindle/wheel (attaching fiber and spinning just enough to get started, then marked my place with some scrap fiber), set a timer for 20 minutes, and spun continuously until the timer ran out. I chose not to include the set up in my timing because that only happens at the beginning, and in a test this short i was pretty sure it would skew the results a little. I also never paused the timer when the fiber broke and i had to reattach it, since that can happen repeatedly while spinning and realistically does affect how fast one can spin.

After 40 minutes of spinning, i had these two singles, shown on the bobbin/spindle and then skeined up.

No surprise there--obviously i spun more on the wheel. The pictures are actually pretty deceptive though, since i was not aiming for a particular weight and just spun what came naturally. On the wheel its much much thicker than on a supported spindle--a heavy fingering weight singles compared maybe a heavy cobweb singles. But the purpose of this experiment was to see the yardage specifically, and--

On my wheel, I spun 54 yards/49.3 meters in twenty minutes

On my spindle, I spun 17 yards/15.5 meters in twenty minutes

Which is just over 3 times faster on my wheel. I'm actually pretty shocked by that--I was predicting AT LEAST 5 times faster on my wheel, and I honestly wouldnt have been surprised if it was closer to 10. But nope, a measly 3.

Which is pretty cool to know. Before this experiment, if I had to spin something on a deadline, I would always have picked my wheel to spin it on. But now im actually thinking it may be a draw, maybe weighted just slightly in favor of the spindle for a few reasons--i have limited ability to spin on my wheel since it's more painful by far, but also my spindles are way more portable. So if, for some reason, i had to spin a hat's worth of laceweight singles ASAP, doing it on spindles that i can use in the car/on the train, at work, in bed, etc, would probably be a more efficient way of doing it than sitting at my wheel for two hours, ending up in quite a bit of pain and potentially triggering a flare up.

The chief slowdown of the spindles is the logistics of the temporary cop, since it means that for every length of yarn you produce, you are winding it by hand three times--the first time onto the temporary cop, the second time onto your hand once the temporary cop is full, and then the third time onto the actual cop at the base/middle of the spindle. This is kinda unavoidable--you dont need a temporary cop for drop spindles, for example, because youre spinning much longer lengths of yarn at a time, so for each time that you have to wind it up the spindle stick to get to the tip, youve spun at least an armspan of yarn, potentially up to 2. Whereas on a supported spindle, much less (anywhere between 3 inches/7.5 cm to 12 inches /30.5 cm depending on what I'm spinning). I dont know exactly how much slower it is to forego a temporary cop, but i highly suspect its far more than the slowdown of winding thrice. Maybe ill check at some point, but i dont really want to (ive tried it, and its extremely tedious).

Anyway, suprising but heartening results ! Would be very interested to hear the results of others if anyone else wanted to give it a go for their own edification. (Im actually really curious what other spinners speed is ! And would be interested to hear drop spindle or other hand spindle speeds even without a comparison to another tool !)

[fluffalpenguin]

@arcvmonth day 24: the manga

oh man oh MAN it's vj day!!!!!

it's pretty funny how all my gifs are mostly yuri-centered huh

Under the cut:

revisiting my review of the manga from last year

Headcanons and fic/comic ideas

rambling about an old WIP

small playlist! (with write-ups!)

First of all, here's the 3,000 words analysis/blog thing I wrote last year when I first finished it.

One and a half years later, I still largely agree with it! There's some headcanons I wrote in there that I completely forgot about, lol, so I'm glad past me posted it somewhere for current me to relieve it again! (The rants were also kind of funny to re-read too)

***

Next, headcanons!

Lately, I found myself wondering about Yuto and Yuri's outfits; specifically-

...Why are they walking around Maiami with dramatic red/black capes?

After some time in the kitchen, I decided that when Yuya was younger, he was really into good versus evil roles when rehearsing his dueltainment lines. And who else better to serve as his practice opponents than his two brothers who aren't off busy making rounds at the stadium on a D-Wheel?

Tying his own fluffy, white towel around his shoulders, Yuya throws a nearby black blanket to Yuto. The oldest is initially a little embarrassed about the notion, but no one can ever say no to the baby of the Sakaki family, can they? (He'll just have to live the shame down from the twins later on... They barely even respect him as they are right now, anyway) In the middle of the duel, Yuri walks in onto the two of them after having finished his homework (or tweaking his deck). He raises an eyebrow at Yuto's appearance, but gets the gist of the situation when he sees their duel disks activated and Yuya standing on top of the sofa in a similar attire. As Yuto steals Yuya's schtick and becomes a tomato, Yuri pouts about being left out and quickly leaves to hunt for something that will allow him to join the fun. When the duel ends, Yuto passes the baton to Yuri. As he watches the two rattle off silly, goofy lines like, I will destroy the planet, the universe, all the worlds! and, Never! I'll stop you, fiend!, Yuto sighs in relief. At least Yuya now has Yuri to LARP with. Maybe Yugo would volunteer too, once he returned from driving practice and hears about it. Though, he'd likely ask to play the part of the hero himself. Anyway, Yuto's already almost in middle school; he's getting a little too old to play with costumes now. Then afterwards, at dinner, with an angelic smile Yuya says, "Yuuto, can we play like that again sometime? You look so cool with a cape!"

Yuri on the other hand, always had a tendency for the melodramatic, his own personal spin of the theatrics he's seen from his dad! Deep down he really loves playing the villain.

(This was meant to be a short description but I couldn't help putting some fic-like sentences in there tehe also yes that's a reference to the conversation between Yuya and G.O.D./Eve)

***

(warning: angst ahead)

Another headcanon I have that I want to write/draw something for is that in the postcanon where Reiji, Yuya, Isaac and Ren travel through space and time together, Yuya has moments where he falters to his grief.

He's used to his brothers commenting and nagging him on almost anything and everything (A midnight snack? Think about your complexion, Yuya!) and his world is suddenly a lot more quiet. In his hurt, he starts to avoid Ren, not wanting to be reminded of what he's lost (He doesn't feel good about it).

Eventually Reiji intervenes and Yuya opens up a little. He's been unable to properly let himself grief for his brothers. All he wants to say is that he misses them.

But he doesn't feel like he has the right to do so, having being the one to seal their fates by personally destroying the one method of bringing them back to life. He doesn't regret his decision of course, but he's unable to stop himself from feeling this way too.

It has a happy ending; Reiji convinces Yuya to talk to Ren. Yuya shares stories about Yugo at Ren's request, making the both of them laugh. Yuya realises that there are other methods of bringing back people to life, too, even if only momentarily.

But it is enough.

***

Misc hcs:

Yuya's charisma and attitude is a combination of his three brothers fawning over his cuteness from birth and Yuya being so star-struck with Yusho's performances he attempted to replicate the movements ever since he could walk.

Being the oldest, Yuto feels a sense of responsibility for his brothers and pledged to take care of them in place of his always-missing parents. However, he oft times finds himself not having to do much because Yugo and Yuri are so determined to win over Yuya's heart (and be proclaimed 'favourite brother') that they also make sure to set a good example for the youngest when possible. This causes Yuto a little bit of an identity crisis (/j it's just for fun) until he settles into his role as the househusband cook.

"All of us... are connected by... the arc of destiny!"

Reiji and Yuya are supposed to be silhouetted by their fathers, so Yuzu is meant to seem like she's looking at Yuya, but is in fact looking at Yusho. I also think VJ Yuto should be allowed to smile more!

This drawing is meant to be my love letter to the manga as a whole, and ESPECIALLY the last duel between Reiji and Yuya. I talked about it a whole ton in the review linked above already, so go check that out if you haven't!!

I was really happy with the composition when I first made this, especially with Sora/Ren/Isaac Versus the Yus mirroring their duels! (Well, okay, I know Isaac didn't duel Yuto but.... just give this to me)

Anyway I really wanted a fun and positive energy for it! Every month I think about returning to this but I get slightly demotivated when I realise I have *zero* colour references for both Ren and Isaac... Please send in your headcanons...

***

Last but not least, last month I got brain worms for another animatic/hand-drawn MV for Eve's Fight Song! I'll never ever have to time to go back to it, but I wanted to take the chance to talk about other songs that make me ill when I think about them with the manga.

1. Myth & Roid - TRAGEDY:ETERNITY

Don’t give me an eternity Even if that’s all I can believe Press pause on the flow of time In the shadow of the blink of an eye I don’t wanna fall into a sleep ‘Cause now you are my remedy Now knocking on, knocking on, knocking on my brain Even for the temptation of a nightmare Fate demands a costly reparation for its fare

Translated lyrics mostly from lyrical-nonsense, but I made some changes for better rhyming and flow yahoo!! This song is what I imagine the OP would be in my dreams when it received an anime adaptation, I've always dreamed of making my own animatic to it!!

Not just the chorus, but the ENTIRE SONG (pleeeease go take a look at the lyrics) feels like it's made for the manga please please go take a look

2. MYTH & ROID - -to the future days

I cast my wishes to the future days If we can meet on the other side of eternity… I cast my wishes to the future days What should we talk about first? Sadness and even joy will, eventually Will sleep together That's the way life is If such a world could be granted Would nobody feel hurt anymore?

Yeah I like M&R quite a bit, how'd you know

If T:E was the hypothetical OP, this is my pick for the ED theme, like AAAAAAAA for me it encompasses the yu's story so so so so so so so well, though

And:

Both despair and also life come to end eventually Take this future into your hands and let it run its course Spin it ’round…… The hands on the clock spin around Like flowers, petals falling and fluttering Once we blossom, we dissipate in the moment THE BRIDGE THE BRIDGE THE LYRICS ARGHHHHHHHH This is definitely for me, the moment when the three yus start to fade during Yuya's battle with Eve, their last conversation they have with yuya..... *lies onto the ground in a pile of misery*

Rest of the lyrics HERE shoves it into your face

3. MAISONdes - Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous

It's no joke, no it's not! Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous Even when the time comes nothing will come of it Vague truths only become melancholy Come on and snatch me away now, take on me!

This is a fun one, when I watched the PV and in the chorus Lum was spinning I instantly went wow what if that was Phantom.. and then the lyrics bared their claws and sunk them into my brain and hasn't really let go since

Unlike the above two songs, not all of the lyrics are a perfect match, of course, but I adore how in general the whimsical yet lonely nature of the song feels like it fits Phantom so well!

4. Eve - Fight Song

As the night still refuses to end, let’s dream

Last but not least the song I posted the above storyboard for! CSM fans (as well as Eve fans, lol) are probably already familiar with the song, and full lyrics here, though like the song above, only parts of the song (particularly the chorus) really resonated with the vj brainworms in my head lol Even for me, y’know Let’s make a break for the future Towards the verge of death like we pray for A boy that gave his word Today, just like back then As if there’s no more future ahead

Sigh.... Yuto, Yugo, Yuri................ Just let out your voice Let’s take it easy We don’t even know common sense, so we know the world through wise eyes These overflowing feelings, behold Greet me with an applause

I love the first half a lot, I can easily imagine Yuya saying it to the other three... and of course, the latter, from him to the world! (or perhaps even G.O.D...)

As always thanks for reading GOODBYE I GOTTA GO DRAW SOME ARC-V OCS