#i started this in october then left it for months and now picked up again

[farfromstrange]

Fictober Day 1: Baking Cookies

Fictober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Prompt: Baking Cookies (🌼)

Summary: You convince Matt to bake cookies with you, and it’s a rather… domestic scene.

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff. That’s it. That’s the post.

Word Count: 1.6k

A/n: Day 1 of Fictober and we’re starting with something sweet! The -ber months always get me in the mood for cookies, especially chai tea or matcha cookies, so that’s what inspired me. Who wouldn’t want to bake cookies with Matt on a cold and rainy day? I know I would. If you want to be tagged for all fics of this event, let me know. Other than that, I am using my respective fluff and smut tag lists that I use for just about everything I write. But if you want to be tagged for both and aren't already on my tag list, feel free to tell me in the comments! Now, I’m so happy we all get to do another October together, and I can’t wait for you to see what I’ve got cooking for you! May you all come out of this sufficiently satisfied.

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The streets of New York are bathed in a disarray of colors as dead leaves continue to fall off the half-green trees. Before you knew it, summer had slipped away into a moment in time. The heatwave that had terrorized the city turned colder with the end of September, and then suddenly, October was knocking on your door. 

You watch the rain trickle down the kitchen windows. The air smells of roasted cinnamon and coffee beans. The billboard outside shines brighter than the afternoon sun stuck behind a sky of gray, throwing a blanket of dark purple over the apartment, and the radio has been playing the same Beach House song on repeat for the past hour. But as you look over at the love of your life, his rough fingers delicately dancing over the label on the sugar jar to figure out what’s inside, there is no doubt in your mind that this is where you belong.

Matt is wearing the maroon sweater you knitted for him last Christmas. Once the seasons start changing, he pulls it out of the closet like he couldn’t wait to wear it again. Your hands crafted something for him to wear so he wouldn’t have to suffer through the cold anymore; there are not enough words in the English language to describe how much that means to him, but you know. You always know.

He looks almost content, standing there with his hair tousled, glasses discarded somewhere in the living room, and a faint smile on his lips. His brown eyes are so soft they remind you of the hazelnut coffee you shared before you suggested, “You want to bake some cookies?”

Much to your surprise, Matt didn’t argue. You expected him to tell you that it’s not Christmas yet, and you were prepared to tell him that cookies don’t need a specific season to be baked. But his face lit up as soon as the words had left your mouth, and he was more than eager to spend the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen with you. 

“How much sugar do we need?” he asks. 

You look down at the handwritten chai cookie recipe he picked out. “Uh, half a cup,” you say. 

He nods, eyebrows furrowing in utmost concentration as his hands feel around the countertop for the measuring cups. You gently place your hand over yours and guide it to the cold plastic. 

His smile widens. “Thank you.”

You look at him like he’s the only man in the world, and to you, he is. It’s not often the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen lets someone into his heart, you learned, but you only fell harder for him when he finally did. He’s beautiful and not at all perfect, but he is all you want.

“Sugar?” Matt snaps you out of your thoughts. 

“Right,” you murmur. “Half a cup.”

He can probably hear your heart racing, hammering against your ribcage. You guide your joined hands into the sugar, filling it only half before moving over to the bowl with the other dry ingredients. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t even comment on how flustered you are, he just holds on tightly to your hands as though he is afraid you might slip away if he doesn’t. 

It is a different kind of intimacy that’s almost sensual, bodies brushing as you get a whisk to mix it all together, your hand over his and the rain pattering against the window in tune with the radio. 

The cinnamon and the chai tea mix with the faint note of Matt’s cologne on your body, on his shirt, and the scent is unlike anything you could possibly describe. You find yourself leaning closer, impossibly closer, barely stirring anymore. He’s home. He’s your home. 

“Is this part of the recipe?” Matt murmurs. 

You hum. “This step is called stirring the batter.”

He smiles against your temple. “Mh. I like this step.”

“Me too.”

One of his hands slips from yours and comes to rest around your waist, swaying you to the music. You wouldn’t dare break this magic.

“Is there a step called ‘Kiss my future Mrs. Murdock’?” he asks then.

Blood rushes to your head. You’re so fucking happy. A giggle slips past your lips. “I think that’s the next step,” you say. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He bridges the gap between you like a man starved, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that knocks the air right out of your fragile lungs. His hand tugs you just a little closer. You belong to me, the action screams. And while you would never allow yourself to be considered someone’s property, it is nice to be wanted. To be needed. To be desired like you are the only thing on his mind, and treated right. Because you deserve it.

After a moment, he pulls away. His unfocused eyes roam your face, but you know he is only listening to your heartbeat, smelling you, feeling you—that’s how he sees you. 

“What’s next?” he asks softly. 

You peek down at the batter, then look back at him. Your mind is still reeling from the kiss, but you manage to pull yourself together enough to say, “Wet ingredients.”

“Oh?”

“Not like that, you pervert!” 

Matt chuckles, throwing his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking about it.” You swat his chest. “I wanted to bake cookies, so let’s bake some damn cookies.”

If you don’t pull away now, you’re sure you won’t get anywhere tonight. 

“Is that what we’re doing?” he teases. 

You nod. “That’s what we’re doing.”

He takes whatever you give him, and does whatever you tell him to until the cookies are finally in the oven. He doesn’t waste another second before pulling you back into his arms.

“Hi,” he says. 

You smile back at him. “Hi to you, too.”

“You forgot this…” You watch as he reaches into his pocket to pull out a ring—your ring.

It was only natural for him to ask you to marry him. He’d been waiting an eternity to do so. No one knows him like you do. No one sees him like you do, and no one loves him quite like you. You’ve seen him at his best and his worst, and you love him not despite but regardless of all of his demons. He doesn’t know what he did to ever deserve you. Quite frankly, he’s not sure he will ever be worthy, but he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

Matt had gotten so used to people walking out on him before you came along that he truly believed he was beyond redemption. Beyond saving. But then you tore open the manifest of his soul, read all the pages, and you gave him your heart anyway. He has not let a day go by where he hasn’t at least tried to do right by you. To take care of you. To love you. To carry you in his very hands like the fucking ethereal being that you are. He’s so scared of losing you, he sometimes loses sight of what he wants just to make you happy, but it’s worth seeing the smile on your face when he brings you flowers he thinks smell like you, or when he gets dinner from your favorite restaurant to surprise you after a long day at work. 

Matt’s only purpose in life is to make you happy because he knows you give him the world in return, a kind of love he never thought he would get to experience. It’s unconditional, it’s deep, and at times, it hurts, but he’s learning what it is like to appreciate the life he was given.

He would steal the stars for you if you wanted them. He would die for you, and sometimes he thinks he might even kill for you. Break all of his rules just to make sure you stay unharmed. He would go up against God, even, if it meant you wouldn’t have to suffer. He would not survive losing you, and sometimes, that scares him.

It has been a long road for him, and at times it felt like he was carrying a wooden cross on his back like Jesus did, but all the suffering eventually led to a sense of peace. He learned how to love again—to love you. After Elektra, after putting Fisk away, after everything, he allowed himself to settle down. And he knew shortly after he met you that he was going to marry you. 

You wrap your hand around the ring in his hand, and he gasps softly as he returns to reality. “Didn’t want it to get dirty,” you whisper. 

Matt slips it on your finger, and it feels again like the first time he did it. “I know. I kept it safe for you,” he says. A pause, and then, “I love you… Mrs. Murdock.”

He will never tire of saying it. Not even when you’re old and gray and you can’t remember where you put your godforsaken glasses. 

You wrap your arms around his neck. “I love you, Mr. Murdock. And I can’t wait to marry you.”

The honesty in your voice overwhelms him. “You mean that?” 

“With all my heart,” you promise.

The words take a second to seep in, to withstand the doubts that are always raging inside of him, but then he pulls you in, and he kisses you again. He kisses you like his life depends on it, the delicious smell of chai tea cookies filling the air, and it’s the safest you know you are ever going to be—here, with him, and in his arms. 

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[fandoms--fluff]

Baby Gilbert

Flufftober, October 15th

Little gilbert sister reader x Stefan Salvatore x Elena Gilbert

Summary: You have a nightmare and go to your big sister's room for comfort

Warnings: none

A/n: I forgot I actually completed this work, but it's a bit older, so keep that in mind😅

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Your the youngest gilbert sibling being 5 years old, as of right now it’s later in the night almost 11pm. Jeremy is at one of his friends houses for the night and Jenna is at Alaric’s apartment so it’s just you, Elena and Stefan since he was also here with Elena in her bedroom helping with history homework because he lived during the 19th century. 

You just woke up, starting to cry from the nightmare you were having seconds before. After a couple of minutes and a few whimpers immitted from you, you got up and went into Jeremy’s room since his was the closest to yours. When you got into his room and climbed onto his bed you realized that your brother wasn’t there. Sliding off his bed and landing on your knees you started to go over to Elena’s room seeing that the door was cracked open a bit and her light was on. You crept up to her door and opened it a little bit more slowly walking in but soon saw that the person sitting on the bed wasn't your sister but Stefan your sister's boyfriend.

Stefan noticed you, looking up from the text book laying across his knees. "Hi y/n/n. What's wrong, what are you doing up?" He asked seeing the tear streaks on your face and you fidgeting around.

"Had bad drweam" you answered trembling in your voice a little bit.

"Well do you want to talk about it?" Stefan concerned for you since your only a little kid.

You thought about it and slowly shook your head, not knowing how to explain it exactly. There were tears still running down your face and you went over to the side of the bed where he was sitting. Looking up at him with puppy dog eyes you lifted your arms up making grabby hand motions for him.

"Alright hun, here we go" Stefan smiled and moved the text book off his legs then picked you up and set you down onto his lap facing him.

You leaned into his chest and wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him. Your tears are damping his shirt but he doesn't care and hugged your tiny self back.

Stefan thought how if Damon saw him right he wouldn't let this go for the rest of the month, teasing him.

"Where Lena?" You looked up at him.

"She's in the bathroom, getting ready for bed" Stefan answered and started to rub small circles on your back.

You nodded and leaned forward against his chest again. While dozing off you started to trace shapes on the front of his left shoulder. Stefan softly smiled at your cute actions and looked over to where Elena walked out of the bathroom, dressed in her pajamas. Elena observed how your in Stefan’s lap with his arms wrapped around you, and she also noticed the tear streaks on your cheeks. 

“Aww this is so cute” Elena almost squealed at the cuteness in front of her.

She picked up her cell phone from the dresser and snapped a couple pictures of you two in one of them Stefan flipping off the camera. Elena sat down next to the two of you by now you were fast asleep and can’t hear Elena telling Stefan off for pulling the middle finger stunt. 

“Want me to put her to bed Stef?” Elena asked, kissing the top of your head. 

Stefan immediately held onto you tighter and quietly growled when Elena tried to take you. She suppressed her laugh at Stefan’s protectiveness over you. “At least if you ever look after her than I know she’s going to be safe” Elena pointed out and Stefan nodded.

“Oh yeah why does y/n have tear stains on her face?” Elena asked remembering.

“She had a bad dream that scared her to start crying” Stefan answered.

“What could’ve scared her so much that it brought her to crying” Elena wondered since you usually didn’t have any bad dreams. 

“I don’t know but let’s not worry too much, if it keeps happening then we can start to worry. But now I think we should just got to sleep in case we wake her.” Stefan nodded down to your sleeping state. 

Elena agreed and both of them laid down, Elena turning the lights off and yet you were still fast asleep in Stefan’s embrace. Its taking Elena all her might not to ‘aww’ at the cuteness beside her. 

“You know if Damon ever finds out he’s never going to let it go” Elena whispered. 

“Well let’s hope he doesn’t and that she doesn’t say anything about this to him” Stefan responded.

“That won’t be a problem for her, Damon has already scared her enough to the point she won’t be in the same room with him alone” Elena said rolling her eyes at the thought. 

“If she wasn’t scared of him then we could really piss him off by getting him to babysit” Stefan chuckled a bit but stopped not wanting to wake you. 

Elena quietly laughed a bit and nodded. 

[messedupfan]

Chapter 24

Summary: Billy and Tommy are celebrating their 12th birthday.

A/n: Hellooooooo! I'm so sorry this has taken so long to post. It's been a ROUGH few months. But through it, I've been able to write a bit when I can. I've also fallen behind on a few episodes of Everything Is Fanfiction. I'm working on getting them out soon, just beware, they were meant to be posted in October/November. But November was so disappointing I needed a BREAK. Haha. Anyway, hope y'all are well. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist  | All Chapters

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“The kids told me that Y/n is going to be at their birthday party,” Vision says as he leans against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. His facial features are contorted into what he assumes is a threatening expression. Once upon a time, his expression did cause Wanda’s stomach to twist in knots and her body to tense up so tightly it was as if she'd turned to stone. But now, all she sees is a man child. Just a boy throwing another fit because he can't have what he wants. She is no longer afraid of his glare and she has to refrain from grinning at the realization. 

Wanda is picking up her boys since it's her week with them. She got caught in this conversation because she was left waiting for Tommy and Billy to say their goodbyes to their younger siblings. They love Vin and Viv wholeheartedly and they feel guilty every time they leave. Even more so because of the relief and safety they feel when they are with their mom. Something they don't know if their siblings will ever feel since Vin and Viv live full time with their father.  

“Y/n will be there with Rachel, their daughter. A lot of parents will be there with their children,” Wanda says with a small shrug. She's trying her best to hide her annoyance over the fact that Vision continues to have this insecurity towards you. As if you're going to replace him in his role as a parent. Of course part of Wanda wishes it could be as simple as that. But she won't ever admit that in order to protect her kids.

“Well I won't be there if they slash them is going to be there,” he states firmly. “I'm the boy's father, so I have to be there.” 

Once again, Wanda has to refrain from laughing. “Vis, you're not even invited. We agreed to do separate birthday celebrations when we got divorced,” she pauses as a fact pops in her mind. “Actually, it's written in our custody agreement. I just haven't held you responsible until now because I was trying to keep you from disappointing the boys at least on their birthday. So, you better think of something for your Saturday with them because I'm not letting you piggyback off of me anymore.” 

Vision opens his mouth to say something but Tommy and Billy are dashing by as they race each other to the car to try and beat the other out for the front seat. Now that they're getting older, they're getting taller. Wanda can't keep them from fighting over the front seat the way she used to. She doesn't give Vision another second as she follows the boys, who are shoving each other, to the car. Billy is claiming that Tommy cheated and Tommy claiming that Billy is just too slow. 

“Boys! No one gets the front seat!” Wanda shouts as she pulls them apart. “Both of you, get to the back!” She demands and they both scoff and sigh as they crawl into the backseat. As Wanda starts the car the boys start to argue over who gets to be in charge of the music. 

“Mom, tell Tommy it's my turn! He played his music last time!” Billy shouts from the backseat. 

“No, that was at dad's house that doesn't count!” Tommy defends. 

“It does too!” Billy fires back. “I'm tired of your music! It sucks!”

“No it doesn't! My music is cool! Your music is for fags!” Tommy says the word a little too harshly. Wanda is shocked to hear Tommy say such a thing but knowing her ex-husband, it was only a matter of time. 

Wanda looks back through the rear view mirror to see that they're still fighting each other. “Hey!” She demands their attention. “Because of that, no one gets to play their music. I'm very disappointed to hear you say such a thing like that Tommy. We do not use that kind of hateful language,” she states strongly to get them to stop fighting and hopefully to get Tommy to never say that word again. 

Many Years Ago 

“Ugh he's so gross,” Crystalia says as she watches Professor Stark pass by while he's in mid conversation with another faculty member. 

Wanda is taking a bite of her food as she hides a nervous chuckle. “What are you talking about?” 

“I'm talking about the rumors going around about him sleeping with students,” she says as she leans in close and speaks in a low tone. Wanda nearly chokes on her food. 

“What? What are you talking about?” She wipes the corners of her lips as she feels Vision’s eyes on her. She subtly shakes her head in hopes that he'll stop looking her way. He looks ahead of him as he continues to walk and talk with his colleague.

“You haven't heard?” Crystalia says as though it's something that everyone on campus is talking about. Wanda shakes her head. “Oh my goodness! Okay. So. Apparently his TA saw a student go into the professor's office and a few minutes later he heard a bunch of moans from both of them. He isn't sure if he should turn him in because he really needs the scholarship that the professor helped him get. But he’s worried about the students' safety. I mean how gross. Professor Stark is in a position of power. I feel bad for whoever the poor girl is.” 

Crystalia’s words begin to fade away as Wanda couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was certain they were super careful about what they were doing. She knew she shouldn't have met him in his office. It was a bad idea from the beginning. She cannot believe she let him talk her into it. But he really wanted to try being intimate in his office because the idea was thrilling. She couldn't deny that it was thrilling, she had never been so terrified and turned on at the same time at the idea of being caught. But knowing that his teaching assistant did catch them has her stomach doing somersaults. She has to push her plate of sushi away from her because she's too nauseous to eat anymore. 

“Are you okay?” Crystalia asks with concern. 

Wanda nods, “Yeah, yeah, I'm just, I'm not sure that the sushi is good is all.” She puts on a fake smile as her mind continues to race with what could happen to her if the teaching assistant were to turn them in. What it could do to her reputation of being known as a girl who screws the professors. It wouldn't matter that he's the only professor that she's been with or that she wasn't his student anymore and hasn't been for a year. It won't matter that they've been in a relationship that was beyond the physical. She would be ruined if anyone found out the student was her.

She knows she should have never started seeing him in the first place. She knew it was against the rules. But she couldn't help herself. It started off as fun and now it's too late to stop. She's so in love with him that she can't imagine life without him. 

Present Day 

A couple of days later, Wanda is sitting on her back porch and watching you lift the finished furniture that you'd made. Taking it from the backyard all the way to the driveway. She licks her lips as her eyes follow your every move, noticing the way your muscles flex as you hoist the chair up. She was starving for your touch again. With the kids' starting middle school and both of you having work piling up, neither of you have been able to find time to spend together. Not since the night the two of you slept together. 

Neither of you really got to enjoy the moments after because shortly after the two of you finished she received a phone call from a nearby hospital. Her mother had fallen and broken her wrist. Wanda rushed to her mother's aid as soon as she was dressed and you drove her to the hospital. Her mother played the injury off as if it was nothing but the doctor stated otherwise. So, Wanda had her mom move in with her for the time being so that she could look after her mother. 

You drove them back to Wanda's once the mother was released from the hospital. It was hard to deny anything going on between the two of you in the disheveled state you and Wanda were in. Not to mention how late into the night it was that the two of you were together. Her mom didn't ask any questions. She simply smiled and squeezed your arm. A silent approval in a sense. 

Then you and Wanda said goodnight to each other because she thought it would be best for you to go home. You agreed as you figured the focus needed to be on her mother's health and not Wanda and yours relationship status. Thankfully, her mom hasn't been pressing her for details of your relationship with Wanda but she has been making comments. “You look happier,” she'll say as she sips coffee. “There’s a glow about you,” she'll say as she walks by the home office. “I think you’re doing the right thing,” she whispered once while the four of them were watching a movie about a blended family. “If you want to have someone over or go out, feel free. Don't let me stop you,” she stated on a Friday night when Wanda didn't have the kids and added a wink when Wanda gave her mother a funny look. 

“Wow, Y/n made those all on their own?” Ms. Maximoff says as she sits next to her daughter while she sips her coffee. “They must have talented… hands.” 

Wanda's eyes widen as she sits up, “Mom!” She scolds softly. “Stop,” she turns around to make sure her boys aren't within ear shot. “Just, please, the kids can't know. Not yet okay? So please, stop with the comments.” 

Ms. Maximoff rolls her eyes and sets her mug on the table in front of them. “I was just paying your friend a compliment. You don't need to get flustered over nothing. I did not raise you to have a filthy mind.”

Wanda shakes her head, “Oh please mother, who are you trying to fool?” 

“Okay, I won't say anything anymore. I just,” she looks around and notices that you and the kids are nowhere to be seen. Noting that they're alone. Even so, she leans in close to her daughter and asks, “Is this a secret because it's far from being serious?” 

Wanda bites the inside of her cheek as she contemplates a simple answer. After a moment she starts to shake her head. “We're taking it slow. We're getting to know each other and figuring out if there is a future here. We're also protecting our kids.”

Her mother nods and places a hand atop her own. She gives her a light squeeze. “How do you feel about them?” she asks in a soft motherly tone that strikes a chord in Wanda. 

The woman grows emotional. Tears spring to the brim of her eyes and threaten to fall as a lump forms in her throat. She takes a shaky breath to calm down. “I'm in love and I'm scared that I'm going to mess it up. I'm scared that I'm not seeing something majorly wrong with Y/n and it'll ruin my life when it comes out. I'm so happy and secure yet I'm so terrified that my instincts are wrong.”

Ms. Maximoff nods and moves her hand further up on Wanda's arm. “Vision did quite a number on you, didn't he?” She asks and Wanda looks away. She often avoids talking about her former marriage to her mother because she doesn't want her mom to think that she failed as a mother. 

“Mom, please,” Wanda wipes her eyes and clears her throat. 

“Honey, I'm only,” Ms. Maximoff doesn't get to continue because you are opening the back door, startling both of the women. 

“Hey, I just wanted to warn you that I have to deliver the orders to the post office,” you say as you fail to notice the vulnerable state that Wanda is in. “Do you mind if Rachel stays behind, I'll only be a couple of,” your words fall as Wanda breathes through her stuffed nose, giving away her current state. You crouch near her to get a good look at her. You put one hand on her shoulder and your other gently takes her hand. “What's wrong, Wanda?”

Wanda shakes her head and clears her throat as she forces a smile. Her body responds to your touch, releasing the tension that was building from the conversation with her mother. “Nothing, nothing. It's only allergies,” she tries to lie and you tilt your head as you catch her eyes to make contact. When she finally surrenders and gazes into your eyes you have a nonverbal conversation hoping she will open up without having to verbalize her emotions. She tells you that she is fine and you nod as you accept her answer. You gently wipe a tear that has escaped before you stand up and let go of her.  

“I need to drop off the furniture at the post office. Rachel isn't ready to leave yet, do you mind if I leave her here for a bit? I'll bring dinner for everyone on my way back,” you ask as you look at her carefully. Still concerned about how she is feeling. 

Wanda takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, it's no big deal. I'm sure they're all distracted with a video game or something. I'll be here to keep them alive otherwise.” You laugh at her statement and thank her as you step away. 

“How's the wrist Ms. Maximoff?” You ask as you step closer to her. She smiles and tells you that she's never been better. You give her a half hug goodbye and tell the ladies that you'll see them in a bit. 

Ms. Maximoff looks at her daughter once you're gone and she smiles. “Honey, you have nothing to worry about.” Her confidence in her statement startles Wanda. Her mother had never been so approving of a partner that she's had. It felt different to have this kind of approval from her mom. At one point in her life, she could care less if her mom approved or not. But she didn't realize how much energy it took to be constantly defending her decisions. It overwhelms her once again. She fears how easy all of this is and she isn't certain that she can believe that this is real. 

Many Years Ago 

Wanda paces the bedroom nervously. She couldn't believe that she was in this situation again. She doesn't believe she'll be lucky a second time. What is she going to tell people? What is she going to tell her parents? 

“It's not that bad,” Vision says as he stops Wanda in her tracks. Her pacing was irritating him but he is doing his best to remain steady, for her. “This can be a good thing. You won't need to worry about graduating or what kind of job you need to get. I can take care of us. I can take care of our family.” He puts his hand on her belly. Wanda melts into his touch as her eyes focus on his hand. There could be a baby growing inside. A baby that will change her life. But she doesn't want to fall into the trope. She refuses to give up her dreams of her career just because she had gotten pregnant by a man with means to care for her. She won't be seen as a gold digger. She won't have people believing that she trapped him into marrying her. She looks up at him with tears in her eyes. She shakes her head. 

“No, I still want to work. I would never expect you to take care of our family on your own,” she says softly. Vision's features twitch slightly but he doesn't react too much. He nods and pulls her into a tight embrace. That was not his plan. He wanted a stay at home wife, not a career woman. But he had to be careful. He knew that he could convince her eventually. When she would inevitably get stressed, he knew he could point out that it's not healthy for the baby. He knew that when she couldn't keep up with the housework and the baby and work that he could tell her to quit her job. He just had to be patient. In the end, Vision always got what he wanted.

“Okay, just know that you have the option. You might feel different later on and that's okay,” he says as he strokes her hair. Doing his best to sound supportive. 

Wanda grows emotional as she clutches his shirt. “I'm scared, Vis. I don't think I'm ready,” she admits against his chest with a shaky tone.

Present Day 

That Friday you arrive at her house an hour before the party is supposed to start so that you can help her decorate and set up. She is grateful for the help but she acts a bit standoffish. Since her conversation with her mom about her relationship with you, she has been spiraling. She skipped her therapy session because she wanted to see if she could manage her emotions on her own but unfortunately that only left her to be shut off from the world. 

You could sense that something was off about her but you couldn't ask about it because part of you knew it was something that needed time and care and couldn't be solved in a brief conversation. So you did your best to be helpful and out of the way. 

As the party began and parents and their children began to arrive, you noticed Wanda begin to perk up. But something still felt off about her. You tried not to linger around her too much. You stay with Pietro for some time. Chatting about how exciting it is to be done with one building and starting construction on another. The conversation moves to him asking you questions about your small business and how that's going. 

Later on you're talking with Carol and Val about their wedding plans and you get excited about their ideas for their wedding and offer to build them an arbor as a gift. They try to shut you down and offer to pay but you convince them otherwise. Insisting that it's the only gift idea that you can actually pull off successfully. 

Wanda’s gaze wanders over to you every now and then. She watches you laugh and engage with her friends and family. She watches you play with the kids when they start running around you. She doesn't want to, but she can't help but compare you to her ex husband. How he would have only paid attention to who he deemed the prettiest woman at the event. Even or especially if she was married. How if the kids came up to him, he would brush them off and tell them to go play with other kids. And when he remarried, the only reason he would talk to people was to show off his new wife. 

Eventually you catch on to Wanda staring at you and you relax a little. You casually walk towards her and tip your head towards the stairs. Inviting her for a private conversation. She subtly nods and you make your way up the stairs without anyone noticing. 

For Wanda, it isn't as easy. She has friends come up to her. She has a kid that's never been to the house before asking where the bathroom is. She is pulled every which way until finally, her mom steps in to get her out of conversations and helping others. 

It takes her roughly thirty minutes to join you upstairs in her bedroom. She finds you sitting at the edge of her bed, patiently waiting. 

“Hey,” she says in a soft tone as she enters the room. Carefully shutting the door behind her so that it doesn't draw any attention. 

You perk up and sit up with a warm smile. “Hey you,” you greet her. “Are you doing okay?” You ask as she sits next to you with a deep sigh. She lays her head on your shoulder and you grow worried again. 

“It's hard to talk about with you because it's about us and you. But it's mostly about me. I don't want to hurt you or scare you,” she tries to explain her complicated feelings that she is struggling to voice. You nod and take her hand in yours to provide her some comfort as you listen to her. 

“Have you talked to your therapist about it?” You ask as you rub your thumb on the back of her hand. She nods her head. The fact that this is still bothering her tells you that this isn't something that can be solved in an hour session with her therapist. “What about with your mom?” You ask in order to understand her a bit better.

“I have, somewhat. She's very encouraging of you, by the way. I wouldn't be surprised if she has started a Pinterest board for our wedding.” She jokes as she starts to move her fingers. You huff out a breathy laugh at the idea. You tilt your head to lean against hers.

“Alright, well none of your friends know about us. So I believe that leaves me as your only option,” you keep your tone light, not wanting her to think you're making a joke of her dilemmas, but still trying to cheer her up a bit. “Look, I want you to be able to come to me about anything. No matter how uncomfortable it may be for the both of us. But I'm not going to pressure you into talking to me if you're not ready to do that yet. That's part of taking it slow. We're gaining each other's trust in order to have difficult conversations.” 

Wanda stops moving her fingers and wraps her hand around yours to give it a soft squeeze. “Thank you,” she says. You squeeze back and kiss the top of her head. 

“We should get back to the party,” you suggest. Wanda nods and rises. She looks down at you, finally looking at you for the first time since she walked in. She doesn't see any anger or frustration in your expression. She only sees love and concern. She couldn't express herself to her ex-husband without him appearing annoyed or upset in some way. 

Wanda surprises you with a soft chaste kiss on the lips. “I love you,” she whispers. 

You smile and kiss her again. “I love you,” you say before letting go of your hand. You step out of her room first and rush to get away from the area without anyone noticing. Then Wanda rejoins the party a couple of minutes later. 

Many Years Ago 

“Wanda, I thought you were mature enough to handle this!” Vision shouts at her. They were celebrating his birthday but with that, came his favorite foods that were triggers for Wanda’s morning sickness. She had to run out of the room as soon as he brought the food out. The retching sounds disgusted him. Vision could hardly stand it. 

Since Wanda was a great student and had enough credits to graduate early which she opted to do because she didn't want to have to answer too many questions about her pregnancy. It upset Vision because he expected her to simply drop out. He got scared and as though his plan was falling apart. Then she agreed to wait on getting a job until the baby could be put in daycare. It was a huge relief for him.

The two moved in together shortly after she completed her final class. Since she was no longer a student, she gave up her dorm room. It was a major adjustment for the couple. They were not very compatible as cohabitants. She wasn't as neat as he expected her to be. She was exhausted from the pregnancy and it was hard for her to pick up after the both of them. Vision got upset every time he had to clean his own messes that he expected her to clean up before he returned. But he thought he was able to keep his cool. 

Wanda is in tears as he snaps at her yet again. She doesn't understand what she is doing wrong. This pregnancy is hard on her. She's nauseous much longer in the day than the morning. She isn't able to keep fit the way Vision keeps asking her to be. Nothing feels comfortable to wear. She can't go anywhere anymore. 

“I'm sorry Vis,” Wanda says through her tears. “The boys are just-” 

“What did you say?” Vision’s tone shifts into one of shock. 

“I-I-I shoot! I ruined the… hold on,” Wanda walks away to grab one of the presents she bought to surprise him. It was a T-shirt with the ultrasound of the twin boys she was carrying. The shirt said “Boy Dad” along the top of the ultrasound image. She hands him the gift and as he opens it she explains, “At my last appointment I found out that we're having twins. And they're both boys.” She wipes her tears as she watches Vision for his reaction. 

“We're having two boys?” He gasps, stunned by the news. Then he looks at Wanda with a wide grin. “We're having boys!” He envelopes her in a big hug to hold her close and kisses her in celebration. 

Present Day 

“Mom!! Look!” Billy proudly holds one of his presents up as him and Tommy unwrap their presents. The party was over, everyone had gone home except for Pietro and his family. The boys were eager to open their presents as they arrived with the guests but thankfully the other kids distracted them until the party was over. 

“Wow! That's a nice present, who is it from?” Wanda asks as she writes down the name of the toy on a notepad. Billy rummages through the gift bag to find a card or tag. He finds a small gift card at the bottom of the bag and hands it to his mom so she can read it. She marks it down. 

“Uncle P! Thank you!” Tommy shouts as he pulls out a box with a picture of a drone on it. Wanda shakes her head and groans. 

“Why did you get him that? I told you not to,” Wanda sighs. 

“Because it's cool!” Pietro cheers. 

“It's so cool!” Tommy says with a grin.

Billy gets a saddened look on his face and Pietro notices. He pushes a box of similar size towards his nephew. “Don't think I forgot about you, pal,” he says and Billy lights up as he tears into the wrapping paper. Another drone is revealed as Billy and Pietro cheer. Wanda can't help but imagine all of the ways the boys will get in trouble with the drones. “Happy birthday boys,” Pietro says as his nephews pile on him to thank him with hugs. 

Once the mess from the presents is cleaned up and Pietro and his wife have left with their sleeping girls and the new toys are put away, Wanda is tucking her boys into their beds. 

“Mom?” Billy asks softly as Wanda smooths the blanket over her boy. 

“Yes, Billy,” Wanda asks in a soft tone. 

“I'm glad we didn't invite dad today,” he says as he looks down at his hands. “He can be mean sometimes. And he really doesn't like Y/n. We have to lie sometimes so he doesn't get mad that we saw Y/n.” 

Wanda takes a deep breath as she smooths Billy's hair down. “I'm sorry that you have to lie to your dad.” 

Billy shrugs, “It's okay. I like hanging out with Y/n. They're cool. They never get mad at me when I'm talking and they help me when I have problems. And sometimes when I don't understand some of my school work and they're here, I ask and they will show me so it makes sense.” His eyes get bright as he talks about you to his mom. It warms her heart to know that you're helping her boys with their school work. 

“Yeah, they are really good at making things make sense,” Tommy says from his bed. “Dad just says we should know this stuff and walks away. The only thing dad wants to teach us is sports. Which I like but he gets really mad at Billy.” 

Wanda looks between her boys, paying attention to the one that is speaking each time. As she hears about how her ex-husband treats their kids she shakes her head and mentally curses him out. He always claimed their kids would be smart because they were his kids. They are smart kids, but they both struggle with school work. It's not their fault, it can get confusing and sometimes they just need it to be explained in a different way in order for them to really grasp the subject. She knows this and so does Vision. But Vision is a lazy parent in this aspect. He believes that whatever explanation the teacher gave is all the boys need in order to get their homework and school work done. And because he teaches all day at the college, he refuses to come home and have to teach again. Which meant Wanda was left to do it on her own and is one of her biggest concerns when her boys go to his house because she's not there to help them with their homework. 

“Is that true?” Wanda looks down at Billy again. Her son nods with a frown and scratches his nose. 

“Yeah, I don't like sports. I like dancing and I even want to try out for the school play this year. But dad said no. I have to stick with sports,” he sighs, his expression of disappointment squeezing Wanda's heart. 

“Don't worry about him. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Okay?” She says as he combs her fingers through his hair. Billy smiles a little as he looks up at his mom. 

“You're the best mom ever. Did you know that?” Billy says sweetly. Wanda smiles down at her boy. Right now she feels like the worst mom for having chosen Vision to be their father. But she can't go back in time and change that because then she wouldn't have Billy and Tommy. She can't imagine life without them. 

“Alright boys, get some rest. I'm sure your father has something planned for your birthday tomorrow,” she says as she gives them each one last kiss on their foreheads. As she is about to leave the room, she stops at the light switch. “I love you both. Happy birthday,” she smiles and flips the switch and closes the door before heading to bed. 

Twelve Years Ago 

Wanda is lying in the hospital bed, sweaty and exhausted. She has one of her newborn sons in her arms, her second child is in the arms of his father. She has tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe it. She is a wife and mother. She has a loving husband who hasn't stopped staring at the baby in his arms since the moment he picked him up. 

“They're perfect,” Wanda whispers. 

“Of course they are. They came from us,” he says happily. His eyes never leave the baby in his arms. He can’t stop gazing at his boy. His first born son. “You are perfect Billy,” he whispers to the baby. He chose the name William after William Shakespeare because it's a well recognized name. One day he hopes that William Vison Stark is just as recognized because he plans to raise him to be one of the most brilliant, powerful and successful men in history. Before, second, or equivalent to his brother Tommy. He was named after Thomas Edison. A great inventor. He hopes that his son gets the Stark genetics in that regard. His family is known to be great inventors. One day his brother, Anthony, will be a thing of the past because his son Thomas Erik Stark will be known as the greatest innovator. He will make certain of it. 

Wanda is gazing down at her son Tommy, the baby is kicking slightly and she knows that he was the baby that kicked the most. “I can’t wait to know you,” she whispers. “I promise to protect your hopes and dreams. She smoothes down his tuft of hair and kisses his forehead. She is excited to tell her father her son’s middle name. Since she told him about her pregnancy, he would jokingly ask her that if the baby is a boy, she should name him after her father. Then she revealed that she was having two boys and he said “That’s perfect! One is named Erik, the other Magnus!” Wanda shakes her head at the memory. The remainder of her pregnancy, she spent fighting the men in her life on naming her kids after them. Then Vision came up with a compromise of having their middle names carry on his name and her fathers name. 

“We are going to raise great men,” Vision grins at his wife. 

Wanda giggles, “Let’s enjoy them as babies while we can.” 

“Okay,” he says and leans over to kiss her lips. “I can agree to that. I love you.” 

Wanda gives him a sleepy smile, “I love you too.”

Chapter 25

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @diealittlesometime @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20 @shaniiwm @casualreadersstuff @neopolitan-torchwick @inarayofmoonlight

[hocuspocusbabyy]

‘Rosemary’ - Calex

Alex Cabot x Casey Novak

"You screamed like a baby" Alex laughed lightly pushing the theatre door open as they stepped out into the streets of Manhattan. Casey had picked her up that evening for a date and they’d driven out of the city, taken the ferry, in hopes of an evening work free without bumping into anyone or being disrupted. They’d ended up doing shots with George and the rest of shrinks, last time they tried to go for a quiet drink together. The time before that Liv and Elliott had called halfway through insisting that Alex come in for a warrant. You really did have to be the arsehole to say no in their line of work.

They were becoming desperate; and thus Alex had locked their cellphones in their desk at work and disappeared for the evening. Their flats had answering machines.

"I do not scream like a child" Casey deadpanned wrapping the red stitch pattern of her scarf around her neck for the third time, in poor attempts to escape the October winds. Alex had actually knitted said scarf during a trial last month - apparently the blonde had a habit of stress knitting as Munch and Fin both walked in with matching knitted ties the next day.

"I mean Rosemary's baby isn't even scary" The taller woman giggled, her nose scrunching adorably.

"I did not scream," Casey huffed, folding her arms in defence. They’d been seeing each other for a little over three months since that night in the bathroom at Liz’s last benefit; and neither woman had ever been happier. They spent weekends with Casey’s dog Gell, the redheads photo album currently full of the blonde. Asleep on Casey’s couch with Gell laid between her legs, eating icecream in Central Park. The redhead had even snapped a few of Alex on her morning run, she’d taken to walking Gell at the same time.

Thursdays had become their unofficial date night; however Alex’s favourite moments were the stolen ones... when Casey fixed her hair on their way into meetings, or left Alex coffee with a note when she got to the office before the redhead or even when the blonde insisted on childish antics such as leaving events early to make out in the storage closet.

She was everything and nothing that Casey had expected or would experience again.

Alex bowed her head laughing at the deep curl of her rarely untamed hair falling before her eyes. She smiled gently leaning enough to bump her shoulder against Casey’s "Oh? so what do you call what I witnessed back there?"

"That amore, was merely my attempt to have a heart attack without an ounce of dignity" The lawyer smirked slightly, a growing blush visible upon her sharp jaw.

"Oh of course I forgot not all of us have nerves of steel like you, growing up in cracksville Nevada with your dancing aunts eh? Slugger" Alex teased, biting her lip lightly.

"New Jersey" Casey started shifting a heavy hand through the amber drift of her hair, "but you already knew that” the blonde winked, Alex knowing all too well about Casey’s upbringing, her aunts and the Ballet school they ran. The redhead had seen Casey dance many times, she loved to pick her up from the dance studio every Tuesday - sweaty and full of endorphins.

“plus they were much more into Pot than crack.” The redhead winked, “And don't call me Slugger, Amore!"

"Oh, apologies" Alex laughed drawing a hand across her face, gazing around the surprising busy streets - burying her hands into her coat. “We both know you prefer being my pretty girl anyway.” The older woman giggled, shooting the now blushing redhead a wink.

“Little minx.” Casey mumbled, trying to act as if hearing the taller woman call her that, wasn’t such a turn on. Alex merely giggled, reaching out and making a grabby hand until the lawyer grasped one of them within her own. The pair swinging their clasped hands back and forth in a childish manner.

"So... what's our plan for the rest of the night? Not that I don't adore going to see back to back horror movies with you." Casey asked using a finger to flick a stand of hair away from the blonde’s eyes.

"We" Alex started dragging an arm between the pair as they back down the high street "do not have a plan"

"Well, let's make one," Casey smirked, backing the other woman against an illuminated poster for an upcoming movie. Back pressed up against the light Alex shook her head at her 'attacker', scrunching her nose as Casey's face drew closer to her own, light hands framing either side of her face.

Alex's lips are soft, and still taste like the twizzlers they had in the theatre. Immediately, Casey gets lost in the sensation of lips sliding against each other.

The redhead's hands have found her way into the blonde's long hair, tugging ever so slightly. The sensation sent a shiver down Alex’s spine. They break apart to breathe after a while, but their faces stay close, noses almost touching. Like this, Casey can smell Alex's familiar perfume pomegranate, deep and fruity, probably the best thing she's ever smelled - though definitely her favourite thing.

There’s almost no space between them, Alex still gripping the redhead’s scarf holding her closer as she starts giggling.

“Ah ha. What’s so funny?” Casey asks grazing her nose along the blondes lovingly - she was obsessed with Alex’s dainty little nose.

“Nothing” Alex started placing her hands on Casey’s chest giving her breast a quick squeeze, dragging a laugh from the other woman before Alex pushed her away. "I have my own plans tonight, that don't include you"

Groaning at the loss of contact Casey gawked as the lawyer's devilish frame visible even through the large Burberry coat that hung from it drew from beneath her "and here I thought we were a team Cabot.”

"we are" Alex stated connecting the blondes pouting lips - similar to that of a sulking child with her own in a simple kiss, "which is why I need a break"

"you need a break from me?" the frown graving large crevices upon her forehead.

"Yes... so I'll still like you in the morning" Hands reaching her waist in attempts to keep her close Casey sighed.

"You know, you could just take me home, then i would be there for you in the morning?" Casey winked snaking an arm round Alex's waist kissing her neck gently. “I could get up, make you breakfast, drive you to work...” each sentence punctuated with more little kisses, licks and bites.

"My mother is in town and I know how vocal you can be when I 'like' you in the mornings" Alex winked cheekily, kissing her lightly once more and moving away again.

“Can I atleast drive you home?”

“Nope. Because we both know if you drive me home you’ll end up on my doorstep, then my kitchen, then my bed.” Alex accused poking a finger at the lawyer's chest.

“That is usually the goal Amore” Casey teased, reaching out to grasp the other woman again.

“Ah ah ahh pretty girl" Alex warned, causing the shorter woman to groan. Alex grasped her face, kissing those perfect lips gently, “You will see me bright and early at work.”

“Yeah but I can’t do what I want to do to you, at work.” Casey sulked, stomping her feet lightly similar to Elliott when Alex won’t let him mess with the suspects.

“When has that ever stopped you?” Alex asked with a knowing look, that made the other woman blush and look a little sheepish - before a particular memory of having her head between Alex’s legs as she lay across a bullpen desk caused her chest to fill with pride.

“besides” Alex continued tapping her watch to show it was already past midnight “you're already intruding on my Halloweve" Spreading her arms wildly Alex chuckled spinning; the street which they currently resided on was relatively empty as she drew further from the other women.

"Who celebrates the day before Halloween anyway!" Casey called after the blonde’s fading form.

"Cabot’s do!" Alex called back, lifting up on her toes as she hailed a taxi from the curb.

"You Alexandra Cabot, will be the death of me" The redhead called out walking backwards from the scene towards her car. Her chest light and happy at the sound of the blonde laughing.

"Here's hoping" Alex smirked, holding out her crossed fingers, before disappearing into the back of the vehicle. The shadow of Casey soon sinking into the sea of busy Manhattan, as the car pulled away. Only to roll back up beside her.

The redhead smirked, leaning down to tap the taxi glass gently till it rolled down, “Can I help you?” She turned to find her familiar blonde resting against the frame, looking up at her.

“Say goodbye properly first.” Alex pouted, puckering her lips to the other woman. Casey gladly swooped down to seal their mouths together. Alex was grinning by the time they finished, leaning back into the cab to red the meter. She turned back towards the open window. “Beat me home and maybe I’ll let you in.” She winked before the car raced off. Leaving Casey stood to fumble for her keys and beat her girlfriend back to the city.

[rivalsforlife]

pardon me if you’re tired of discussing this but. we know aa7 is on capcom’s radar on some level. and now they’ve rereleased every game right?? they’ve finally run out of backlog material after almost yearly releases since 2019…. Not to put the clown wig and nose back on too early but do you think we’ll actually get news about, or get to see, aa7 next year?

Never tired of discussing this!! This is right around the time of year where I'd be preparing to make my yearly AA7 Speculation Post anyway so this is great timing. (TGS, my enemy, is approaching.)

So just to make sure everyone's on the same page, here's a quick recap of where we're currently at:

In November 2020 we got internal Capcom leaks which included a calendar from 2019 with the roadmap for the AA series the next couple of years. This included:

DGS1&2 collection, which I did not think was going to happen ever, releasing April-June 2021

AA7, releasing around October-December 2021, right around the 20th anniversary.

Through late 2019-mid 2022, reconsider porting 456

We got DGS1&2 (a bit later than in the plan, but by like a month), we got the 456 ports, we got bonus AAI ports, we have nothing for AA7 nearly three years after it was supposed to come out. The pandemic is an obvious feature that could contribute to its delay, but at this point with 456 ports out I think we can safely say that this was not the only cause.

Some other things that may or may not be contributing to AA7's delay include:

Yamazaki, the previous main writer for 5&6 and the AAIs, left Capcom in 2020. If he was involved in AA7 at all, that could throw a wrench into things, but I recall hearing he intended AA6 to be his last AA game (I AM STRUGGLING TO FIND THE SOURCE THOUGH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME), so I don't think this contributed very much. It does, however, mean that we're unsure about who the next main writer is - depending on what Takumi's up to or if they had to bring someone new on, there could be complications related to that.

I think TGAA did way better than anyone expected, which I covered in this post. It's possible that this could have shifted Capcom's priorities to porting more old games / porting to all modern consoles. It may have made people at Capcom think "damn everyone loves Takumi" so they tried to lure him back to AA7, and I have no idea how well that would have gone or if Takumi is even interested in continuing mainline AA right now. (I do think this at least contributed to the Ghost Trick ports.)

In my first ever AA7 speculation post I talked about how the ending of AA6 kind of wrote them into a corner re: how to continue with the series and which protagonist to use. I still stand by that argument even if a lot of that post aged badly.

Console ports! Previously new AA games were for whichever Nintendo handheld is out now (GBA, Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3DS). But now that the series is doing really well on all consoles, they may have decided to try to make their next mainline entry on all consoles, which would take more development time. Adding to this is that the Switch is near the end of its lifecycle with the Switch 2 (or whatever the successor will be) being announced soon - meaning that, if AA7 is coming out soon, Capcom is in the position of "do we try to squeeze this into the end of the Switch's lifecycle" (which, I'll need to find sources for this, is speculated to be some of the reasons behind why AAI2 and DGS2 sold badly when they were first released, and they can't make the same mistake thrice... right...?) or "do we try to time it with the release of the Switch 2"?

Also, a lot of this depends on how far AA7 was into development whenever it was derailed. If it was derailed from the pandemic, then according to the calendar, it would likely have still been in the prototype stage. It may be early enough that they would have had to start from scratch whenever they picked it up again. I don't work in the gaming industry so I have no idea how long it takes them to make a game or how easy it would be from what stage they're in.

One thing we can compare to is some of the comments about the recent AAI ports: in this interview, Shunsuke Nishida, the producer of the AAI collection, says that development on the collection began in 2022. He also mentions that this began once development on 456 was concluded. This leads me to believe that (contrary to my previous assumptions) 456 and AAIC were not developed concurrently (or if so, had very minimal overlap), and that the process of upscaling graphics, porting, and localization took them... about a year, maybe? So that takes time, even without taking into consideration how long it would take to come up with a new idea + write the script + the bulk of the programming that would have to be done that isn't considered with porting + probably way more than I can think of because again I do not work in the gaming industry.

There's also the question of why 456 and AAIC weren't developed concurrently. The calendar from 2020 shows that TGAA and AA7 were meant to be developed at least somewhat concurrently, and the staff from TGAA would eventually merge into working on AA7. Once again, we don't know what happened to the staff that were supposed to be working on AA7. It's possible pandemic complications meant they got shuffled onto other projects. It's possible the AA-related team is smaller now than it was in 2020, so they only have enough people to work on one project at a time. It's also possible that there's a team that was working on ports, and a team that was working on a new game, and now the "port team" is freed up to work on the "new game team".

Either way though, pretty much every interview with the staff for the 456 or AAI ports are all saying "look forward to the future of the series", which is definitely Corporate Speak, but unless they're bringing the ports of the Layton crossover (fingers crossed) that can only mean one thing. (AAI anime?) Plus, like I've discussed in this post, AA is having fantastic sales in general. They've seemingly either hired a new social media manager or changed the strategy so there is much more engagement on twitter. And AA is getting on bigger and bigger announcements - though AA trilogy ports were announced at TGS (at an AA-specific panel), TGAA duology ports were announced unceremoniously on twitter. Afterwards, 456 ports got announced at the Capcom Showcase during Summer Game Fest. And now AAI collection got announced at a Nintendo Direct, which I imagine is even more expensive, so the series must be going in a good direction for them to think that's worth it!

That's a lot of rambling for me to say I definitely think it's coming.

When are we going to see it though!!

Coming up in September is my eternal enemy Tokyo Game Show. Since AAI collection is being released at the beginning of September... it might be a bit too soon to announce a new game, but who knows. They might think it's profitable to ride the hype they're building now for AAI collection to announce a new game. Or they might let it sit for a while.

With AAIC getting announced at a Direct, I'm thinking they'll want to make AA7's announcement a) big and b) global. AA6 was announced in Famitsu, but the problem with that is that it's a mostly Japanese audience, and some interviews have been talking about how AA's global audience is particularly contributing to how big it is right now. So I'm expecting AA's next announcement to be at something major and something that will get attention from overseas audiences.

If they have been working on AA7 concurrently -- and honestly I do think there has at least been some progress on it since 2019 -- we could definitely see an announcement within the next year. I was also saying this in 2020, though, so don't take my word for it. There's been two year gaps between ports up until the AAI collection, and they seemed pretty proud about releasing 456 and AAI in the same year, so... maybe they'll want to keep it going and announce AA7 within the next year, especially if they'll have a longer announcement -> release period than they normally would for ports.

Potential candidates include:

Tokyo Game Show: As previously stated, it's very close to the AAIC release, so I don't think it's the best timing for it. I would not want my favorite AA game overshadowed by whatever the hell they're going to do with AA7. Likelihood: depends on how fast they want to follow up on the hype.

The Game Awards: is the next major gaming event, but that's already massive in terms of the type of games that get announced there, and it's expensive! Nintendo Direct is one thing since AA has always been a Nintendo-first series, but I don't think it's big enough to justify putting in a Game Awards ad. and I already have my clown wig on for persona 6 there. Likelihood: pretty low tbh

Next Year's Summer Game Fest-related Shows: I think this is the most likely, considering both the 456 collection and the AAI collection were announced around this time. For AA7 I'd say a Nintendo Direct to get lots of eyes on it, especially if AAIC sales pay off. Likelihood: pretty high!

Which leads me into my wildcard answer:

Switch 2 Announcement Stream: If Capcom decides to go in and make AA7 one of the first games for whatever the switch successor would be, it could be announced here. I regret to admit that I am a very bad gamer and only like two things, and therefore have not ever been present for one of these things to know how many games get announced as launch games for a new console, but, like, it's possible.

In the above scenario, I'm not necessarily saying that AA7 would be a Switch 2 exclusive - because I think that would be stupid after so much of the support they've gotten from the ports has been from playstation and steam - but I am definitely the kind of person who would buy a console for one video game. Shoutout to me buying a switch in part anticipating that aa7 would come out on it and that is not looking likely

Anyways, that's my speculation!! Reminder that this is mostly uninformed and that I have no knowledge of anything related to sales or marketing or video game development, and as a result of that, I have been wrong (aside from the one time I accurately predicted AAI ports as a joke) for four consecutive years.

[sanccharine]

the way everyday goes | ty

christmas au

pairing: tzuyu x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 7k

warning: again so sweet it'll rot your teeth ;-;

summary: your bank account may be crying, but that doesn't matter when you spend money on the people you love most

a/n: this year (last years rip) christmas fic, would anyone believe me if i said everything was ready to be posted ?? i just got lazy, i'm sorry HAFGDHSKFH thanks to @eternallyghosting my human spelling and grammar check but ngl tho, i wrote this fic very weirdly, so expect some things to not add up, but yeah !! happy new year !!

When Tzuyu opened the door to her studio, she seemed the furthest thing from happy to see you. Though that was often the expression she wore when dealing with the likes of you. 

You, on the other hand, wore a wide grin, shaking a large bag of chips in one hand and a bottle of iced coffee in the other. 

She was dressed in her usual garb. The one she wore when she locked herself in her room for an ungodly amount of days. An extra large sweatshirt that fell to her thighs with matching sweatpants in black colour. The only indicator of her tension is the frayed hem of one corner, no doubt picked at the seam while she reads all of her essays and articles and textbooks.

Tzuyu was unamused, but you were used to that. No harm done. Scoffing at her deadpan look, you shoved your way into her small house. When she didn’t step to the side, your back clipped the door frame, while all she did was watch you with her owlish eyes. 

“Good morning,” you said, throwing another grin at her over your shoulder as you made your way straight to her study desk. Tzuyu had barely moved, holding the door open and just watching you run around her home as if it were your own. “Come on, why do you look like that? Catch!”

And you threw the chips packet at her. 

Your smile only widened as Tzuyu watched the packet fly across the distance between you and let it fall to her feet. She looked at the packet and then at you and then back at the packet. With a sigh, she closed the door behind her. 

You expected as much from her and shrugged. “Have fun with your crumbs,” you said, observing her study desk. 

“Oh, I will,” she mumbled and bent down to pick up the fallen treat.

Exams are over. Results were coming out soon for the semester. And best of all, your holidays have started. The campus is closed for a whole week until New Year’s, truly there was nothing to frown at. Yet, there you stood scrutinising Tzuyu’s desk. 

Her laptop is open on some unit site, codes and words that meant nothing to you. Her notebooks were strewn open with loose sheets, all highlighted and annotated with multicoloured pens. Sticky notes infiltrated every part of your vision. It overwhelmed you. Though, you supposed a student like Tzuyu could only function as such. 

“What—What is all…” you gestured loosely at her table, “this?”

Tzuyu, still at her place in front of the door, tilted her head to the left as she opened the chips packet. Her blank stare was just a touch away from a glare as she decided not to grace you with a response. 

You were used to her tricks. Same as she was to your taunts. 

“You know the semester is over right, like, you can rest now,” you say, but Tzuyu scoffed.

She made her way towards you and headed to the cupboard behind. But not before offering you some of her chips, you tipped the crumbs into your mouth.

“I have to prepare for postgrad,” she said, “you know that.”

“Oh, what postgrad?” you asked, feigning cluelessness but Tzuyu just sent a scathing glare over her shoulder. “Do you mean the postgrad that starts in September of next year?”

“Second week of October,” she said, as she pushed hangers out of the way as if they’d personally offended her. 

“Oh, even worse,” you sighed dramatically, throwing your arm over your forehead though she didn’t turn having seen this routine so many times. “That’s what? Only like a year’s worth of time—”

“It’s only ten months.”

“Oh sorry, only ten months, that’s truly so little time,” you said, purposely standing in her way when she turned to lay out her pick on the bed. Tzuyu liked to visualize her clothes. 

“That time will pass in a flash—get! Get out of my way!” she shoved you to the side and walked to her bed before continuing. “Before you know it, the semester will start and you’ll be wondering how you’re already behind on assignments.”

That was such a fatalistic belief that only a student like Tzuyu can hold. Even when she, herself, has disproved such thinking. 

“Yeah, but you did promise to take a break for a while,” you said, a bit of seriousness slipping in but you caught yourself. Shrugging exaggeratedly for effect and took a moment to consider. After a pause, you clapped your hands together. “Like how we said we’d go out and celebrate today! Remember that?” 

“Can’t say I do. Is that why you’re up so early today?” she said as she moved back and forth pulling out pieces to complete her outfit. Tzuyu then returned to her cupboard, shuffling something around in there. You’d say that she was trying to figure out how to complete her look, but knowing her, she’d probably planned her outfit for the day. 

You looked at your wrist, there was no watch. “Yeah, getting up before twelve was a real struggle,” you said and you moved right by her as she finally picked out a manuka winter coat. She ignored the way you clung to her side, though you didn’t miss the small smile she wore. Donning a smile of your own, you continued. “But you know those are the sacrifices I make for our relationship.” 

“Oh, is that right?” Tzuyu asked, following along with your playacting. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve been waiting all week for this day. All month even, you could say. Just for this, this very special, oh-so-jolly day. All only to get some time to spend with you, my—” You had just opened your arms to cage Tzuyu from moving around but she’d stopped you with a hand to chest. 

“It’s not that serious,” her words were clipped but she was smiling. “Calm down, now.”

“Now, why would I do that?” you asked, arms still outstretched, you jutted your chin at them, waiting for your hug. 

Tzuyu rolled her eyes but still relented. 

She giggled when your arms closed around like how a claw machine would around a toy. And similarly—

“Don’t—” her words ended in a squeal as you lifted her up and spun her around, a little wobbly on your feet just to mess with her. 

You dragged her down to her bed, crumpling her perfectly set up clothes on the way, and burst into giggles. All the while Tzuyu grumbled her distaste at being lifted up while struggling to get away from your hold. 

“Stop laughing!” she shrieked, pushing herself away as giggles escaped her lips as well. “Seriously, seriously! I’ll go get ready, let me go now!” 

You just hummed and rolled away as she hurriedly got off the bed. She straightened herself up before tugging at her clothes from beneath you. All you did was watch her, a cold sensation climbed up your arms. 

“You’re unbelievable,” she was flushed when she said it, but grinning ear to ear as she made her way to her bathroom.

By the time the pair of you had reached the bus station, you had finished both the packet of chips and your bottle of iced coffee. Swiping her card quickly, Tzuyu made her way to the back of the bus and picked a two-seater. This early in the morning and this far out of the city, there was barely anyone on the bus. She shuffled herself next to the window just as you took a seat next to her. 

The bus had already moved from the station when Tzuyu pulled out her phone and earphones from her pockets. Without even looking at you, she handed you the left earphone after putting the right one on. When you accepted, she pressed play and leaned back with her eyes closed. 

You watched her for a second, a reprieve from when she wasn’t studying you back. You heard a chime somewhere in your vicinity, but you didn’t turn away, your stop wasn’t up until a while.

Tzuyu often looked perfect. 

Of course, that was simple to say because she was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. 

But it wasn’t so surface-level. It bled into how she carried herself and practically built her facade. 

She’d said it herself. 

“Repetition leads to routine, and practice leads to perfection. It’s monotonous but it brings order. They set a standard,” she paused. “And that’s something I can’t afford to give up.” 

Granted, when she had uttered those words you’d found her in the same awful set of lockdown-sweats. A manic look in her eyes and her hair was frizzy from having a hand run through it so many times. She’d stayed up all night writing her draft of an essay that was worth nearly fifty percent of her grade. She’d barely eaten, surviving on instant black coffee and cereal bars. 

In those types of moments, she reminded herself of those words. She repeated them when her motivation dipped beyond recognition and staring at her screen made her eyes dry up. She had a sticky note of the same words written in a hasty scrawl in her line of sight, just above where her laptop sat, so it was always on her mind. She’d apologise because she was not one to bite her tongue, but she’d tell you the same words. And sometimes it motivated you, seeing her excel, you wanted that for yourself too. But most of the time, the weight of working so hard crushed you straight into the ground. 

It was worrying but she never really let herself stay down. And maybe, that’s where you came in. 

When she’d tired herself out, you’d bought her dinner to make sure she had a proper meal before she slept for a whole day. You provided the snacks when you both holed yourselves in the library. You dragged her out by planning days such as this. You were her reprieve. 

And by that time, you’d figured her out. 

You saw her past the perfection she so delicately manufactured. Past the painted nails. Past the crisply ironed dress shirts. Past the curious gaze. 

It wasn’t as if she completely removed her imperfections. If you knew where to look, you could find it. The fraying insides of her cuffs from picking at the threads. The flimsy collar barely holding its shape after being pulled at for so long. The flyaway strands that came undone when she played with her hair. They were always there, always humanizing her. You just needed to look at her long enough to know they existed. 

When you saw the muscle in her cheek twitch, you were brought back to the sensation of the moving bus, rumbling beneath you. She knew you were watching, but decided against confronting you about it. The thought brought a smile of your own as you picked up your phone to check when you needed to stop the bus. 

That was your duty. Your role in this relationship. One you took with pride. 

Tzuyu was comfortable enough to let herself take a step back and allow you to drag her wherever you’d planned, no questions asked. The entire day was scheduled on your phone, even allowing for late buses and trains. You’ve travelled enough on public transportation to account for this sort of thing. 

So that's how the trip to the central business district went. From bus to subway, from station to station, and one line to another—Tzuyu stuck by you. 

Her earphones, still connecting you. Your hand, always holding hers. 

You knew this city like the back of your hand. That happens when you spend nearly four years travelling back and forth, finding part-time jobs, going out, and attending events. 

Yet you were still noticing new things from time to time. 

As soon as your train stopped in the main district, you headed straight for the restaurants to load up on snacks. You still had time to kill before you needed to go where you needed to be. So you let Tzuyu drag you around, gawking at books she wants to read, playing around with fabrics of sweatshirts she already owned, but most importantly, you bought her almost everything she asked for when it came to food. 

Though she did threaten to leave when you first proclaimed loudly at the counter. “Don’t worry, anything for my pretty princess.” 

That was how you ended up holding two special collectable bubble tea cups, a take-away bag filled with free samples, and an inviting half-eaten honey cake which the pair of you left for later since it was too sweet. 

From time to time, you pestered Tzuyu to take photos of you. Although she whined about it, once the camera was up, she was striking a pose. Her, always so prim and proper, and you, always with your arm above her or around her or holding her. Always gazing at her.

“Tell me you didn’t,” though you weren’t facing her, you could imagine her gawking. 

“Well, I kinda did,” you shrugged, before throwing the clerk a smile as he went in to grab your shoes. 

“How much was this—”

“I told you, money is not a problem! Anything for my sweet little schnookums—oi! That actually really hurt!” you leaned on the counter, a groan escaping you as you held the bicep that was harassed. “Unbelievable, unbelievable!”

Tzuyu just stuck her tongue out before grabbing her own shoes and heading in. 

“Real mature,” you grumbled with a smile as you grabbed your pair of shoes and followed after her. 

You’d dumped all your belongings except your phone into a locker and took a seat by Tzuyu to put on the ice skating shoes. For some reason, the fit was never perfect. Sometimes it felt like it was biting into your toes, or placing pressure on your ankle, but then it felt too loose when you tried to stand. While you were doing and undoing the laces, you missed the way Tzuyu just watched you with a smile.

With a groan, you tried again, hoping to get it down this time. “Honestly,” you looked up for a second at the rink. “I didn’t expect it to be this packed.” 

“Oh, you’re telling me you didn’t expect one of the biggest ice rinks… in the city… to be busy… on Christmas Eve?” Tzuyu asked, her voice dripping with more derision with every statement. 

“Okay but is it really Christmas Eve if it is, like, eleven in the morning?” you asked with a sigh as you finally finished tying your shoes. 

“The whole day is the Eve,” she sent you a look as she stood, not wobbling at all on her blades. “And it’s almost two.”

“Is it?!” you asked, pulling out your phone. She was right!

Not according to schedule, but you expected as much. You could work with this. 

“That’s fine,” you said and pocketed your phone before trying to get up. Tzuyu’s hand was already in your vision, and without hesitation, you took it. “Thanks.”

When you were stable, she let go. 

“Okay, you can do it,” and with that, she took two steps and was on the rink already merging with the moving crowd that circled the border. 

“Chou Tzuyu, are you serious?” you screamed, even getting some looks, but you weren’t bothered. 

Even with the crowd, and the blaring Christmas tunes, you could hear her laugh once you spotted her. Tzuyu had her head thrown back, eyes crinkled close, and her right hand gripping the railing so she didn't double over and eat ice shavings. If she wasn’t having so much fun, you’d have been mad at her for laughing at your expense. 

Tzuyu moved along but slowed down a bit so that you could catch up. It’s not as if you’ve never skated before, you have. After all, you were the one to book this outing. You just hoped you would be a little bit more graceful. Of course, after a few rounds, the lack of practice and confidence will disappear, but for the moment, you longingly stared at the children gleefully making circles in the middle of the rink with their penguins. 

“Oh, come on, let go of the railing,” Tzuyu taunted, skating smoothly by your side, while you were hunched over the railing, basically walking on ice. “Come on!”

“Yeah, I don’t have a death wish,” a child giggled as she passed around you with a penguin aid. You’re sticking next to the railing too, kid!

“Why did you book this if you’re not even going to skate properly?” Tzuyu had the gall to pout. 

“Because it’s in theme! Winter, holidays, snow, Christmas—!” you let out an ugly squeal as the blades slipped from underneath you. For a moment, you flailed. You imagined you looked like those cartoon characters just as they teetered off a cliff, hands winding around like a propeller to stop themselves from plummeting. Thankfully, the railing was your shining knight in armour and your wayward legs had stopped fighting you.  

Tzuyu had stopped skating. But once you looked back at her, both elbows over the railing while huffing and puffing, she just broke out laughing. Maybe you’d admire how free she looked when she laughed like that if you weren’t glaring at her. While she did that, you pulled yourself into a standing position. 

“I’m fine,” you huffed out as you were standing and facing the rink again. “Thanks for worrying, by the way.” 

Still chuckling, Tzuyu came closer to the railing. And then she did something insane. 

Pushing herself with one foot, she spun around and came to a stop in front of you. 

When did she have the time to learn all of that?

“No need to show off.” Tzuyu rolled her eyes as she extended her arms. 

“And no need to be killjoy,” she retaliated before jutting her chin at her hands. “Come on, take it.” 

You made quite the show of how much you did not want this, though it was hard to suppress your smile. She shared the expression when you took her help. With a nod, she pushed off and moved backwards, pulling you with her. 

When she tugged you close, you let out another yelp, and she had to press her lips thin to not burst out laughing again. She moved slowly, helping you find your footing on the ice while you navigated her away from bumping into people. Maybe if you weren’t so busy with maintaining your balance, you may have taken your chance to press a kiss on her nose, only to watch her scrunch her eyes shut and blush to her ears. 

Once you’d done a round like that, Tzuyu decided to be brave and pushed herself back to your side. Although she was still holding one of your hands, leaning down, she picked up pace and so you followed her. Before you knew it, you were skating again. Like you used to, the few times you visit. Right by her side, competitions and bets came up, but at the end of the rounds, you were just finding ways to hold Tzuyu’s hand again. 

When you realized that the rink’s Christmas playlist had looped, you decided it was time for a break. For you, at least. Stopping at a corner near the entrance to the rink, you leaned on the railing as you watched Tzuyu make easy rounds around the rink, even daring to skate between people. Like any other person, you picked out your phone and started filming her fly across the rink. 

There was one particular move where she skated backwards and manoeuvred into a slow spin that made her laugh when she executed it perfectly. However, she’d almost run over a child who barely reached her knee in the process. Instantly, she was on her knees on the ice, even though the kid kept shaking her head to convey that she was fine. That was how you had another video of Tzuyu, skating hand in hand with a little girl as she taught her how to do a little circle. 

You were on the seats with your shoes already in your hands when Tzuyu plopped herself down next to you. 

“Happy?” you asked, tilting your head to watch her. 

The grand clock chimed to mark the start of a new hour. 

She nodded, eyes scrunched close again as she grinned. “Very.”

By the time you’d collected your things and finished up the rest of your leftover snacks, it was already time for dinner. You made your reservation just in time. When you entered the restaurant, the first thing the maitre d’ did was judge you. Well, you couldn’t be sure of what was going through his head, though you're sure he wasn’t supposed to stare at you for so long. 

Granted, you and Tzuyu had sprinted the last few steps because it started snowing hard, and were huffing and puffing like some steam engine. 

“Welcome,” his voice pitched high before he corrected himself and tried again. Instead of bursting out laughing, you and Tzuyu just shared an amused look before following him. 

He guided you through the main lounge of the restaurant and to the private rooms you’d booked. Most places had flashing lights, a horrifying mixture of green and red covering every surface to get in the spirit. However, you loved how this restaurant had decorated the places. The whole place was dimmed, so only the fairy lights by the curling and candles on the tables twinkled. Each table had its own bouquet with flowers you couldn’t name, some adorned with miniature ornaments and some with paper-crafted reindeers and bells. Dinner plates, champagne glasses, and table mats had little accents of red and green, nothing too daring. 

You supposed such simple elegance was expected of a high-end restaurant, but that also meant their clientele was of a different calibre too. Most of those at the tables were couples in expensive clothes and greying hair. Some seemed younger, but even they held an air of authority that you doubted you held as you trudged your way through the place. 

Not that it mattered though. The waiter introduced the pair of you to your room and informed you how you could ring for help before closing the door behind him. With just you and Tzuyu in the room, you made yourselves comfortable. 

Tzuyu pulled up the menu while you shrugged off your coat and hung it over your chair. “Are you sure we’re in the right place?” she asked before turning the menu and showing off the price of the dishes. 

“Well, seeing as my name was on their list and they haven’t kicked us out. I think, yes,” you replied and picked up a menu for yourself. “Order anything. Whatever you want.”

You said a bit more genuinely than the last few times you did. 

“Are you sure?” Tzuyu asked, still scrutinizing the prices. 

“Of course,” you nodded, scanning for a dish that was worth the price. “My treat, remember.”

Tzuyu’s (and your own, really) inhibitions about the price had disappeared once you had your first bite. The food was absolutely divine. The pair of you had ordered two different dishes and then swapped halfway through, and then ordered one more dish and a dessert to end it with. 

Tzuyu was scraping the bottom of her bowl when you asked her. “What do you think about marriage?”

The scraping stopped. 

You’d have laughed at the little smudge of chocolate by her lip if her eyes weren’t so wide. 

“Like, you mean, us?” she asked slowly. 

A small chuckle escaped you as you moved the ice cream around in your own bowl. “No, like, in general.” 

“Is this about Sana?”

That was the name of the second person in Tzuyu’s ginormous friend group who had gotten married over the summer. You never really knew the woman personally, or any of her friends really, but you’d heard enough about them and visited two weddings to know what they were like. And especially how much they mattered to Tzuyu. 

“Sure, I guess,” you shrugged and Tzuyu returned to her dessert, although much slower this time around. “I don’t know, it just feels so daunting, you know?”

Tzuyu waited in silence. 

With a sigh, you continued. “They’re so young and they got married,” you admitted. 

It wasn’t just Tzuyu’s friends. You’ve heard stories within your own lectures, of people discussing marriage plans and getting engaged and dream weddings. And if not that, they were settling down, in relationships that seemed to promise security more than momentary pleasure. You’re not one to give that sort of thing too much thought, but you’d be a liar if you said you’ve never thought about it. 

Tzuyu studied her bowl, apparently, there was still quite a bit of dessert left. “They know what they want…” 

That was a simple enough answer. 

Did you know what you want?

Your hand stopped spinning your spoon around as you studied Tzuyu. 

Bells. That’s what you heard when you looked at her. Not like the deafening sirens you set as your morning alarm or the jingles you’ve been hearing all day. A soft melody filled with dulcet notes, building as your heart rate increased. It must be a sound you’ve heard before if your mind can come up with it… right? But you just couldn’t place the sound, it didn’t sound like any song you’d heard and if it was, you wouldn't recognize it. 

You heard it every time you glanced at her, it arose in the strangest of moments. The pair of you had just pulled an all-nighter, the sky was losing darkness and turning into a dreamy blue, and when you turned to Tzuyu, you found her face pressed onto her textbook. She was out cold, the right side of her face completely smashed and her mouth hanging open as she slept. You had to clasp a hand over your mouth from laughing at yourself and waking her up. 

And then you heard it when she first made instant noodles her way for you and added a concerning amount of cheeses. Then, it was when she suggested visiting a new cafe in the city and you’d agreed without question. Or when she’d bought you a random trinket from a street vendor solely because it had reminded her of you. So many trivial moments, filled with a soundtrack of your own making for your very own love story. 

Because it was one. There were no two ways about it. 

People often say falling in love is magical, perhaps that holds some truth to it. The fluttering in your stomach that you couldn’t differentiate from nervousness, the beating of your heart hammering away as if it were to burst, the shiver that runs up your neck, that same sense of suffocation you feel when you’re out of breath. How gooseflesh rises on your skin, but you feel so warm inside. And when you look at her, it's a sensation of relief that you feel. The tinge of positivity when she looks back at you, a twinkle in her eyes to let you know you weren’t the only one feeling this way. 

You wanted to ask her and you have asked her.

Were you supposed to do something right now? In the moment? What would happen if we didn’t address it? How could we plan anything? How many times could we tell each other that it’s not fear? That we’re not scared? You’re not scared? But you are, you really are. It was overwhelming. 

Are we falling behind?

She’d always denied it. 

And she was right, of course. 

But it didn’t always feel like it. 

There were only a handful of people you considered true friends from your university. Not because they’d done anything to you or whatever, some people just click and stick with you forever and some don’t. It was simple. It was normal. And the former was true of Tzuyu. 

It was so true, sometimes it brought tears to your eyes when you thought about it in the middle of the night. It really is so overwhelming just how much you felt for her. Perhaps this was love, or it was something else, you’ve never felt at this intensity before. You really couldn’t name it. And that might sound strange but it was true, nothing could really encompass what you felt, or heard even, when you looked at her. 

“What are you looking at?” Tzuyu’s voice broke you from your reverie. 

Your mouth made the shape to enunciate the word. 

“And don’t say, you,” Tzuyu groaned as she pushed her bowl away, she’d finished her treat. 

She knew your tricks all too well. You’ll need to change it up. 

“Don’t freak, but there’s a bug on your—”

“What?” Tzuyu freaked out. “Where? Where is it? Tell me!”

Freezing up, all she could do was glare when you just chuckled. “I was wondering if I should just slap you to hit it,” Tzuyu’s eyes widened and you couldn’t help your laughter. “Or just leave you at its mercy and run, I didn’t want its attention on me–”

“Just get it off!” 

“–but you know, sudden movements and things. I can’t die, I have too much to live for—” she shrieked your name, pleading as her hands gripped the table. “Okay, okay, come here.”

Gesturing for her to move forward, you leaned over the table to wipe away the smudge of ice cream by the corner of her lips. The smudge was long gone, so she should have guessed so was the 'bug' but you just held her chin. You, watching her. And her, watching you. 

Having lingered long enough, you pulled your hand back with a smile. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled after clearing her throat. 

You just nodded before showing her your bowl of melted ice cream. “Do you want to finish this off too?”

“Yes, please,” she said, “but I also have something for you.”

You tilted your head in confusion, every single plate on her side of the table had been wiped clean. What did she have to give you? 

You were just about to voice those words when she pulled out a small package from underneath the table. A gasp had barely left your lips when she spoke.

“It’s not a ring.”

“I’m heartbroken.”

“I’m sure you are,” Tzuyu placed the package next to your bowl and took the ice cream. “Open it.”

Following orders, you opened the package and you started second-guessing her claim of this not being a marriage proposal. Of course, you knew it wouldn’t be, you’d talked about as much. But you guessed somewhere you’d like to hear such news. 

You sent her a glance when you felt the velvet inning of the box, though she just shook her head. 

What was in there, when you opened the box, was a necklace. 

A loud snort escaped you that you had to clasp a hand over your mouth. 

When you looked up, Tzuyu was shovelling ice cream into her mouth but still grinning. She was doing anything to avoid looking at you. 

The necklace barely matched its packaging. The first thing that caught your attention was an amulet, it was discolored and its design eroded, by wear that you could barely make out what it used to be. But you knew. And you remembered.

Four years ago, during some university-wide event, the amulet had caught your attention on some stall. But at the same time you’d reached for it, so had Tzuyu. The bells. That’s where you could track them back to. Some busking artist that had been performing at the time, providing a melody that you’d come to associate with Tzuyu herself and the love you have for her. 

Tzuyu had been very adamant about having the amulet, and you, well you couldn’t care less. So you’d said the opposite and asked her to buy you the very expensive, very sugary, glazed doughnuts from the foodtruck down the line. And she’s just said yes. 

And then you talked. You exchanged your numbers. And the rest well, was history. 

Tzuyu never came around to wearing the amulet, and one night she admitted that she only bought it for its aesthetics, but could never find a moment to properly wear it. And if she did, she found herself wrapping it around her wrist so she could play with it when class was boring. The same night you admitted you just used the necklace to get yourself free doughnuts. From then on, she made it very obvious to wear it whenever you were around.

And now, it has returned to you. Having lost all of its aesthetic appeal. 

“Oh this, this is priceless,” you said, giggling and tugging it from the box, already putting it on. “Thank you.” 

“I thought you’d like it,” she said, finishing the last of your ice cream. “Now, where’s my present?” 

You know she was asking to be cheeky, but you still entertained her. “Oh, like the whole day I planned and spent with my hard-earned money wasn’t a present?”

The train ride back was longer than you’d expected, but it gave Tzuyu some time to nap. Once again, you were connected by your hands and her earphones, as she lay her head on your shoulder. 

Seeing as how late it was, buses would take longer to make their last rounds. Which is why you left Tzuyu at the bus stop, so you could quickly rush to the general store behind it and get some more snacks. Hot chocolate seemed like the right choice at a time like this, the perfect ending to the day. The scene would be magical, being seated together at a bus stop, illuminated by a warm lamppost, surrounded by flecks of snow as you sipped on hot chocolate. But also, you were craving more ice cream. Dealing with a cold will be your future you’s problem. 

So you grabbed two cones and a hand warmer and swiped your card. 

The streets seemed empty, even though it wasn’t even that late. Well… by a student’s standard, it wasn’t that late, seeing as it was nearing eleven in the evening, perhaps it was late. 

“I got our snacks,” you said, holding up a cone in each hand. Tzuyu just chuckled as she took one from your hand. She struggled for a moment to peel off the wrapping with her gloved hands, but when she did, she bit a large chunk of the ice cream, and you just gawked in awe. 

The bus had arrived by the time you finished the cones. Just as your stop arrived, Tzuyu’s music stopped. Someone was calling her. 

“What time is it?” she asked, pulling out her phone, you missed the caller’s name. 

“Like, almost midnight,” you said, getting up and guiding her out as she answered the call. 

“They’re an hour early—”

“Tzuyu-ah!” Sana’s voice shrieked into your earphones, you had to pull it out. You thanked the bus driver and wished him a good night, ignoring the way he squinted at you. 

“Do you still want to go—” Tzuyu just threw a thumbs up as she matched Sana’s voice in greeting. 

Letting her catch up with her friend, you guided her to the park you often visited, usually near midnight like tonight, and always at the children’s playground to the small swing set. 

When you helped Tzuyu into her seat, so engrossed in the call, she started taking the seat as soon as the swing hit the back of her legs, she'd have landed flat on her back had you not helped her into the seat. 

“It’s nice to see you again,” you looked up to see Sana’s son wave at you. 

“Oh, oh, hey, kid,” Tzuyu sent you a look over her shoulder as you made sure she was not going to slip off the seat. “It’s good to see you again! How’re you doing, kid?” 

“I’m good, how are you?” he asked, and you parrotted the same answer, a little breathy from slouching over. 

“Sit down, will you?” Tzuyu pretended to groan, pushing your face away from her shoulder. 

The seat was made for children, so it was very very low to the ground and tiny. You had to balance yourself on your things to not flip over the seat, a moment's distraction and you could be swinging from your knees. Holding on to the chains, you pushed yourself close to Tzuyu so your face was on camera again. 

“No, seriously, how are you?” you asked again to get past the surface-level answers. “What have you been up to?”

With a wide grin, he started speaking about a recipe he had just mastered and while he did more of Tzuyu’s friends joined. Most of which you were familiar with now, having met them at two weddings and conversed with some over calls. Though you were most glad to see Sana’s son again. You’d only met him face to face once. It was at Sana's wedding during the summer. Both you and Tzuyu had been taken with him when you first met him last Christmas. Tzuyu had taken you back home with her last year, and you finally got to meet her beloved dogs, and so had Sana’s son. He’d remembered to even ask about Tzuyu’s dogs during the wedding, you spent the better part of the event showing him the videos you had. 

Ever since you’d gotten him a gift, he’d grown quite fond of you both. Now usually, it was tradition to get gifts mostly for those to be wed, but you and Tzuyu had instead decided to gift their son. You’d heard how much he loved the Percy Jackson books much like you had, so you decided to buy him the Kane Chronicles. thankfully he hadn’t read or gotten them yet. Besides, seeing as both you and Tzuyu were neck deep in student debt and as broke as they come, you weren’t really in a place to buy the newlyweds a washing machine. 

Tzuyu waved to others, while you kept him talking. “Have you read the Kane Chronicles yet?” 

The boy had an affinity to reread the same book over and over again, even if he wasn’t completed with a series. At the wedding, he’d been attached at the hip to the Son of Neptune, which was understandable. But also, the next two books are easily the best of the series. 

“I did start them!” he said, eagerly leaning away from the camera before bringing the second book in with him. “I really like it,” he said, flipping through some pages and turning the book to show it. You didn’t have the heart to tell him it was too blurry to see anything but a blank white page. “But it’s not as fun as you said it would be, I still like Percy Jackson better than this series.” 

Oh.

Now, you’re at a stage in your life where you didn’t go around picking fights with children, though you will say it was a difficult urge to ignore. But something about appreciating children having different opinions from you or whatever. 

“Um, yeah, no, I—”

“Please, don’t pick a fight with a child,” Tzuyu said with a groan and the call erupted with a cacophony of laughter. You’d missed when everyone had joined. You had been hogging the call. 

“I wasn’t going to! The kid had the right to his own opinions,” you said, looking scandalized but then mumbled under your breath. “Even if it’s wrong.”

Tzuyu shoved you with a smile and you let the swing take its original spot. With a smile of your own, you let Tzuyu catch up with her friends, only waving and greeting people when she turned the phone to face you. After some wishes of Merry Christmas and farewells, the phone call had been cut. With every passing year, it was harder to meet, even during holidays when everyone was supposed to be free. In-person meetings seemed like a faraway dream, and planning a call seemed just as hectic, but somehow Tzuyu’s friends found a way. But you know Tzuyu ached to meet her friends again, some time where it wasn't a life-changing event that brought them together or where disaster didn’t strike. Just to be with them for a moment. 

You hadn’t even realized you were pushing yourself towards her, let alone kissing her on the cheek. Only when your swing recoiled back to her place and Tzuyu let out a small noise in question, did you realize what you’d done. 

“What was that for?” Tzuyu asked, her hand caressing the place where you’d kissed her. 

“I don’t know actually,” you said wistfully. “Just because.” 

Tzuyu hummed in acknowledgement as blush coloured her cheeks. You thought maybe she’d chastise you, even as a joke. But then, she did something shocking. 

Her hand pulled on your swing chain and pulled you close. 

It wasn’t the smoothest kiss. Your noses bumped into each other and the angle was wrong, but none of it really mattered because soon both your hands went to hold her as close as possible. She giggled into the kiss, no doubt, shyness creeping in as she comprehended what she’d just done. 

If it were up to you, maybe you would’ve stayed there until sunrise. 

Unfortunately, your leg, which was strained to hold you in place, slipped just as Tzuyu gently pushed you away. While you swung sideways, Tzuyu hid her face in her hands. 

A giggle from her earned from you. And before you knew it, the pair of you were laughing, hunched over and swinging lightly. 

Many things are changing, but your days will be all the same. Especially with Tzuyu by your side. And she wasn’t leaving your side any time soon.

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: people really need to read kane chronicles, its literally perfect but yeah, hope you enjoyed this ! again happy new year !!

tagging: @someone-who-likes-broccoli

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Pairing: Steve Harrington x afab!reader

W/C: ~7.2k

TW: 18+ MDNI, smut Teehee. Face riding, oral (both m and f receiving), foul foul language, mentions of depression, smoking weed, impulsive decisions, self-deprecating thoughts, self-image issues, upset Robin Buckley, mentions of the Upside Down, scars, boobs, mentions of trauma

Notes: Yall, this one got away from me but I’m not mad about how it came out at all. She’s not edited but I sure as hell enjoyed writing her. I really wanted to write a reader who isn’t afraid to sass Steve since so much of the fan fic I see is a headstrong woman becoming some shy girl when she likes Steve, and as someone who literally bullies the people she loves, well…anywho. First time writing for Steve, second time writing and posting fan fic, and first time writing smut. Constructive criticism and comments are HIGHLY appreciated since I’ve rediscovered my addiction to writing. I really hope y’all enjoy it!!!

(finally went back and slightly edited away some mistakes lol October 2, 2024)

GIF not mine

Steve Harrington was so over everything in his fucking life. He was sick of shitbag father. He was sick of his emotionless mother. He was sick of going to work every day, sick of Hawkins, sick of Indiana, sick of his life. 

He was over it—truly. 

Eyeing himself up and down and up again, Steve stood in front of his bathroom mirror, critiquing every inch of his body: his scrawny arms, his too skinny shoulders, the bags under his eyes, the scars along his abdomen, even his hair felt flat and volumeless. Steve was just over himself. 

Which is why he almost didn’t feel bad when he drove up to Indianapolis to take a train to New York City, and told no one. He did leave a note in case his parents showed up at home, but the chances of that were slim to none. He knew it stupid of him not to tell anyone where he was going, and he knew that he was going to get the scolding of his lifetime from his friends when he eventually called them from New York, but for now he simply just wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet that the train had brought him. 

He had brought his walkman with a cassette that was made for him a while ago. Currently, Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears played in his ears as the city pulled into view. He had only been there a couple of times before, but each time the sheer volume of it seemed almost overwhelming at first. It was so different from Hawkins, from Indiana as a whole really, which is why he loved coming to visit so much. He knew that you had just left two weeks ago, a month in advance so you could get settled back into city life, starting up your job. He knew you'd be back in two weeks for the long weekend, and to celebrate with the barbeque your family had been running for years, but truthfully, he just wanted a week or two with you all to himself.

So imagine his surprise when you were actually in your apartment, and not in the library a block away, where he had assumed you’d be. He waited patiently in the lobby, watching the elevator doors, hoping that the next time it opened, it would be you. And it’s true, the third time really is the charm, since you walked out of the elevator in an oversized yellow sweatshirt (that may or may not have been Steve’s), and the sleep shorts you had owned for the past couple years, declaring they were your favorite. 

Your eyes lit up at the sight of him, shock and pure joy sprang across your face as your pace immediately picked up. The slippers you decided to wear down to the lobby were more or less halfway off your feet by the time you threw yourself into Steve’s arms. 

Steve dropped the duffel bag he had hastily packed next to his feet and wrapped his arms around you, as tightly as possible. 

“Hiya sweet girl.” He whispered into your hair, kissing your head softly. “Did ya miss me?” 

You snorted into his chest. “That’s a stupid fucking question Steven, we both know you’re smarter than that…” You pulled away and placed a hand on his cheek, the smile never leaving your face. 

“Of course I missed you.” You whispered to him, as if it was a secret only meant for him to hear. “Why don’t we head upstairs, yeah? I can show you the billions of boxes I’ve acquired from moving in.”

Steve kissed your forehead before letting go of you to grab the duffel bag that was now on the ground. You moved towards the desk, and filled out the visitor log on the counter before taking Steve’s hand and bringing him towards the elevator. He squeezed your hand lightly and rubbed his thumb back and forth. 

“I forgot that fancy miss NYU needed an elevator to get alllllll the way up to her new fancy apartment.” You had been extremely lucky. Your grades and work ethic both in high school, and in your first two years of college, had paid off in scholarships and work studies, meaning that you barely even paid for your education. But this past semester, for the next consecutive school year, you had won a housing scholarship, which meant you got to move into the brand new apartment style dorms for upperclassmen for almost nothing a month. 

“Oh please.” You rolled your eyes and scoffed playfully. “It’s an elevator that barely works, and I’m only on the twelfth floor. One of the girls I was telling you about, Jenna? She lives on the twentieth floor. It’s fucking hell when the elevator stops working.” 

The elevator door opened, and a couple other students came out, passing the both of you. Steve watches as you smile and say hi to them. 

“They’re my neighbors.” You explained, pushing the button to your floor, and the doors closed. 

As soon as they did, Steve’s lips were on yours. Your back hit the elevator wall as his knee slotted between your legs. Hummed softly as your arms snaked around his neck, one hand finding a way into his hair, fingers pulling gently on it. 

“I missed you too Handsome” You sighed as Steve slowly started to kiss up your jaw. You tugged on his hair again, and he let out what could only be described a one stop short of a whine. 

The elevator dinged, and he moved away from you, grabbing your hand. 

“Lead the way, gorgeous.” 

Steve would follow you to the ends of the earth. Hell he’s followed you to hell, and back again. He’s watched the very hand he’s holding swing an ax and chop off the head of demon dogs that had taken over Hawkins. He’s seen you rip apart a demobat with your bare hands simply because it looked at him. He’s watched you comfort the kids countless times, holding them when they needed more than just words. He’s watched you try to drink and smoke away the nightmares the two of you shared for years. But he’ll gladly settle for following down the carpeted hallway, stained with things he will never want to know about, towards your apartment.

It was just you, which meant that the entire apartment was pretty bare. The walls only had a few things hanging up on them, and you didn’t even have a couch yet. There were boxes everywhere, but not as many considering you had little to nothing that you brought to New York. But, it made Steve happy to see your personality shining through, despite the vicious nature of your high school experience. 

You took his bag from his hand and pointed towards the phone. 

“How’d you know?” 

“Well, Baby, don’t take this the wrong way, but while you’re never one to run away from those you care about, you are absolutely one to run away from your feelings.” 

Steve rolled his eyes and started to protest, but you just gave him a quick kiss to silence anything he might have to say. 

“Besides, Robin called about thirty minutes before you did, freaking the fuck out. And I refuse to get the brunt end of your beating.” 

You kissed the side of his head before leaving the bedroom, to go to the bathroom, decidedly getting ready for bed now, even though it was barely 5 pm. You knew doing your nightly routine once Steve was here was almost a Sisyphean task. 

Steve had watched you leave before picking up the phone and dialing Robin’s house. It didn’t even ring twice before it was answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey Rob–”

“Steven Harrington I am going to DROWN you. What the fuck Steve we have been so worried about you, especially when you didn’t show up to drive Dustin and Lucas and Max to school, and then didn’t show up for work two days in a row. I mean Steve, you were missing for over twenty-four hours! Your car wasn’t at your house and we could hear the phone ringing in your house when one of us would call—Eddie even went and led a mini search party around Lover’s Lake. Steve we thought, we….” 

Steve pinched his nose while listening to Robin, letting her ramble before she tapered off. “Robs I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry anybody but I just need to be alone and just…”

“Where even are you Steve?” 

“....I’m uh, I’m…in New York.” 

“WHAT. Steve you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, that's like, an eighteen hour train ride, let alone–”

“Rob–”

“The drive up to Indianapolis. I mean Steve we thought you died and instead you were just going on a long distance booty call? Are you fucking insane? Do you know how many people get kidnapped on trains–”

“Robin–”

“Why couldn’t you have just told us where you were going? It’s not that hard top pick up a phone I mean literally exhibit A right now–”

“Robin! Look, I'm sorry. I know what I did was kind of fucked but...Don't call Y/n "a long distance booty call"."

"Sorry. That wasn't..."

"I know." He sighed. "I just needed to not be in Hawkins. I needed to be near her…”

Robin's eyeroll was audible.

“Look Steve, I get it. I miss her too. But you couldn’t have waited another like, two weeks like the rest of us?” 

Just then, you walked back into the room; face washed and teeth brushed. You smiled and kissed his check. 

“No Robs. I couldn’t. I’ll see you in two weeks, or something.” 

“Ste–” He hung up the phone and turned to face his girlfriend. 

“How pissed is she?” You asked, turning to face him, watching him take a few breaths. Steve moved towards the windows, and opened one of them up. 

“Extremely, but they’ll all be fine.”

“When’s the last time you slept Steve?” You walked over and wrapped your arms around his waist, kissing the spot in between his shoulder blades. He let out a grunt of disapproval, but didn’t move since he enjoyed the feeling of your lips on his back. He breathed in the city air, and it was by no means the fresh air Hawkins used to once have, but it was different and that was all that mattered. 

“Do you still have any of the rolls Eddie gave you during Spring Break?” He muttered before turning around and holding you in his arms, kissing your head. 

“Oh so you only came up here to get free drugs?” 

Steve chuckled and shook his head.

“To answer your question, yes I do. But I have some stuff from the guy who lives a couple floors up, and you cannot tell Eddie but it’s ten times better.” 

“You sneaky sneaky girl. Can’t believe the city turned you into such a deviant. Valedictorian of her high school class turned into a big city pothead. What would your mother say?” He fake scolded, giving you one of the looks he frequently gave to Dustin or any of the other kids when they did something even remotely out of the rhetorical line Steve had created. 

“If you wanted any, you could’ve said so Stevie.” 

The nickname made his heart flutter a little bit. “That’s not what I said.” 

“Yeah well now you owe me for calling me a delinquent.” 

“Actually it was deviant so now I know you don't even listen to m–” You cut him off by kissing his lips, except the smile on your face was too bright to give him a full kiss. 

“Do you want the goods or not Harrington…” 

Steve nodded and kissed your head one more time. “Yes please.” 

You pulled away from him, much to his dismay, but he watched as you went under your bed. Almost your entire body was completely under the bed, and he heard you moving a couple of things around. 

“Are you trying to get back to the Upside Down under there?” He joked as you pull yourself out from under the bed, a ziplock bag containing a couple of blunts in your hand. “Ha ha. Very funny. Hold this.” 

“Aye aye Captain.” He gave you a mock salute and took the bag from your hand while you got to work. You grabbed the towel off of the back of your door, rolled it up, and shoved it against the bottom of the door before standing up, pulling a lighter off of your desk. 

“Okay gorgeous, get that sexy ass of yours out on the fire escape.” 

“Yes ma’am” Steve smiled at you before he clambered onto the fire escape. It was these moments he so desperately craved with you. If he could sit on a fire escape and watch the sunset with you every single night, he would go back to the Upside Down and fight Vecna all over again just to have this moment with you. He sat down against the railing, and let his legs dangle off the side. It seems they weren’t the only ones with this idea, but Steve sure as hell didn’t mind once your thigh was against his. The warmth of the sun mixed with the warmth of your body was more than enough to quell whatever had been going on in his mind. Once he noticed you were staring at him, a light blush tinged his cheeks. 

“What.” He grumbled, looking down through the grate at the people below. 

“Oh nothing, just observing my very handsome boyfriend, and trying to figure out what was clouding his head so badly that he literally dropped everything and disappeared for twenty four hours because he needed to be near me.” 

“What are you getting at lady.” he grumbled, pulling one of the joints, and carefully closing it back up before he chucked it back into your room. He reached behind him and almost closed your window all the way, just enough to squeeze some fingers under to get back inside. He placed the joint in his mouth, and turned to you. You flicked the lighter on, the flame reflecting in both of your eyes before you lit the end of it. 

Steve took a deep drag. He let it fill his lungs. He needed it to push away all of those doubts from before.

After a moment, he slowly exhaled and handed you the joint, still looking forward. The view was really something, considering the fact that if he stared directly across, it was into some elderly woman’s apartment with at least three different cats. But if he turned and looked down the rest of the street, he could see so much more of the city than he ever thought he would be able to. 

You looked at him, taking your own slow inhale of the joint. You placed it on the ashtray near the window and took his hand in yours. 

“Want to tell me what’s running through that pretty head of hair?” 

Steve scoffed before looking down at you. Your eyes were swimming, drowning really, in worry. You kept looking over all of his face before settling back on his eyes. “Steve…” Your voice had gotten softer, and you rubbed your thumb against his hand. “I need you to tell me why you’re here. I promise I’m not mad. I’m actually super relieved that you’re here, if I’m being so truthfully honest Steve. But I know you–I’m actually quite proud of how well I know considering you’re basically a brick wall—Sorry, rambling. But the main point is that you just up and left Hawkins. You traveled halfway across the country for me, and I am so flattered but baby, what’s going on?” 

Steve kissed your hand, before reaching back and grabbing the joint. He took another hit of it, enjoying the ambiance of the city surrounding him. 

“Steve please talk to me.” 

He placed the joint back in the ashtray before placing his hand on your thigh. The sun was getting closer to the horizon, and the temperature was slowly starting to cool, but just enough to make it bearable. If he looked at you, he might just break. 

But you weren’t having any of it. You took your free hand and gently guided his chin, subtly forcing him to look at you. 

“Steve. I need you to tell me what’s going on or I can’t help.”

“Maybe it’s nothing you can fix.” He rasped out, taking in a gasp of breath. The tears quickly started to build up behind his lash line. And he tried so hard to keep them at bay. He didn’t need to cry in front of you, he didn’t want to cry in front of you. “Fuck. Sorry.” He quickly wiped at his eyes a couple of times, desperately trying to keep it together in front of you. 

“Don't apologize when you haven't done a single thing wrong." You quickly grabbed both of his hands and pulled them away from his face. "At least give me the chance to try and help with whatever is going on.” 

Steve bit his lip and looked away from you. “It’s so stupid. Fuck. It’s so fucking stupid. I just had this moment.” He started, “I had this moment yesterday and I was in the bathroom and I was just looking. I could see every single fucking thing wrong with me. It’s like I was making some sick fucking list or some shit. And-And I needed to get out so badly. I couldn’t stay in that house. That stupid house. I needed to leave Hawkins. If I stayed I–” He stopped himself, tears rolling down his cheeks, he finally looked at you. Steve took a couple of breaths before finally continuing, focusing on the way your thumb rubbed across his cheek, despite the light stubble adorning his chin. He looked into your eyes, which were patiently waiting for him to continue. 

You were looking at Steve as if he were the only thing worth saving in this world. And it's a look he's seen before.

“I needed you. And I just couldn’t wait two weeks for some three day visit where I was barely going to get maybe three hours alone with you. I just–Fuck.” He placed his hands on your wrists, turning his head and kissing the palm of your hand. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’m still not sure what you're sorry about Steve.” You smiled sweetly at him, saccharine in every single way possible. He didn’t understand what he had done in the world to possibly deserve someone like you, but he was sure as hell not about to let you go. How could you just sit there and listen to him, and love him so sweetly, when he was so fucked up, inside and out. His body was marred with reminders of everything they had been through. His mind was thoroughly fucked up, and he quite literally runs away from himself and his friends and–

“Steve.” 

His eyes refocused on you. 

“Why don’t we go inside and lie down. I have a gut feeling you haven’t slept in at least twenty-four hours.” You had managed to move from sitting next to him, to kneeling, all while keeping a hand on his cheek.Your thumb was wiping away any stray tears left over. Your other hand was slowly rubbing your thumb across his thigh, it could not have been the most comfortable of positions but somehow you made it look like it was nothing. 

Steve shook his head. “No, no. I’m fine I promise, shit.” He turned away from you, getting up. 

“Steven, I am not doing this right now. You ran away from your house, and traveled halfway across the country to come see me. You haven’t slept in a couple of days, clearly. I need you to climb back through that window and change into whatever you need to for sleeping because you are not okay right now, and I’d rather be a little bitchy just to get you in my bed, then sit here while you pull away from the one person you came here to see.” 

Steve pursed his lips and looked over at you. “You’re not gonna stop until you get me in your bed are you?” his joke only landed slightly flat as you huffed at him, the ghost of a smile on your face. 

“Move it or lose it Harrington.” 

He nodded and leaned down to grab the ashtray for you, but you had beat him to it. “You’re getting slow, old man.” 

Steve rolled his eyes before opening up the window back into your room, and climbing through it. You followed him through, placing the ashtray on your dresser. You turned around to close the window and the curtains, while Steve just sat on the bed and watch you. 

“I know you’re staring at me creep.” 

“Can’t help it. Sorry.”

You huffed at his antics before turning around and making your way towards him. Laying down on your bed, you found yourself between his legs, arms wrapped around his neck, hands playing with the edges of his hair. “Steve you are far from perfect–”

“Gee thanks.” He gave you a weird look, but you continued anyway. 

“But, let me finish, you are not some fucked up…thing, that can’t be fixed. In fact, you’re not some toy or whatever that is supposed to be fixed. You’re not a shattered figurine in your moms stupid little china cabinet or a bent golf club in your dad’s honestly weirdly large putter collection. You are just someone trying their best to get by and it is enough. Being fixed means there is this ideal of perfect that you have to be, but there is not a stupid goal that you need to always be at Steve. You are absolutely amazing the way you are. You are braver than anyone I’ve ever met. You are sometimes too kind for your own good, constantly giving and giving to others when you have nothing else to give but parts of yourself. And you are one of the most selfless people on this earth. You have sacrificed so much Steve, and that doesn’t make you any less, or make you this broken…thing. It just means that you have lived a life that most people couldn’t even imagine, and you are still more than enough for the people who love and care about you.” 

Steve kissed you. 

He couldn't say much of anything to show you how much you meant to him.

“I love you.” He muttered against your lips, pulling you tighter against his body as he continued to deepen the kiss, letting his tongue sweep across your bottom lip. Hands roaming across bodies. Soft gasps for air. Neediness pouring out from the both of you.

He need to show you that you how grateful he was.

You couldn’t get enough of his lips. It had only been a few weeks since you had seen him last, kissed him last, but that was just far too long ago. You had been thinking about him while you wandered around your nearly empty apartment. Something felt like it was missing, and with Steve here, kissing you into bliss, the apartment felt full. It felt like everything was where it was supposed to be–always connected to him, giving life to one another. Your body flush against as much as his as you could, hands pushing against his neck, to try and get impossible closer to the boy who holds your heart in his chest with his own. 

“I love you too Steve.” You manage out once the both of you part for more than  a semblance of breath. He smiled at that and kissed your jaw softly. “I missed you so much babygirl.” 

A soft hum left your mouth, enjoying the warmth of his lips as they slowly moved towards your ear, your neck. His hands had made their way to your hips, fingers gently pushing into the soft flesh.

“You have no idea how much I missed having you in my bed every morning.” Lips finding the soft spot behind your ear. “In my car.” He nipped at your ear, earning him a soft exhale that fell from your lips. “On my couch. In the pool.” He started to slowly kiss down your neck, sucking a bit harder in certain spots he had spent so many hours memorizing. “Mostly. I missed coming home, and getting to fall asleep in the same bed as you.” He sucked on the soft spot of your neck, right above your collarbone, and a soft moan tumbled from your lips as he did. You felt the smirk on his lips, but it was quickly replaced with Steve marking your neck, a hickey that would take too much concealer to hide.

“Fuck Steve.” Your body was glued to his, a slow heat rising through your veins. You shifted slightly, trying to squeeze your legs together, get some friction down where you needed it the most. “Please baby.” 

Steve blew softly on the mark he just left before kissing back up your neck to your lips. “Please, what, babygirl.” 

“Stop being such a tease.” You grumbled, running your hand through his hair, before grabbing some of it and gently tugging, eliciting a throaty moan from Steve’s pretty lips. He fucking loved when you did that. “When am I not?” He bit his lip as the two of you looked at each other. 

You shoved his chest just enough to get him sitting back down on the bed, so that you could climb up and straddle the boy. “If you want to be a tease, than I can do the same thing.” You whispered in his ear, earning a strangled sound coming from Steve’s throat. 

You slowly rolled your hips, feeling the bulge in his jeans grow larger at the contact. “I can tell how much you missed me Stevie.” There was that fucking nickname again. It had him preening as you rolled your hips again. His hands immediately went to your waist, pushing you down and helping you grind against him. 

Your lips made their way to his neck, to his collarbone. “Baby take your shirt off.” You muttered at him, stopping your movements for a second to help him pull it up and over his body. Your hands immediately found their way to his chest, lips crashing back to his, desperate to get your hands all over his body as if you were touch starved, maybe you were. And Steve would completely agree with you. His was just not touching you enough. 

One of his hands made it around your waist to your back still guiding the way your clit rubbed against the bulge in his jeans. His other hand went in between the two and he slid it under your shorts. 

Your breath hitched and your hips stuttered, losing their rhythm a bit as Steve rolled his middle finger around your clit. He smirked as you closed your eyes and let out a moan, grinding your hips a little harder, starting to ride his fingers, his hand. 

“Stevie please.” You mumbled, resting your forehead on his shoulder, letting out another moan as he pushed your underwear to the side, letting the rest of his fingers ghost over your throbbing clit. 

“What Babygirl. What do you need? Tell me what you want." He whispered in your ear, slowly pushing two of his fingers further south to feel just how wet you were for him. 

“Oh baby…” 

You whined at his words. 

“I want you t-to touch me Stevie.” You moaned into his ear as he shoved his fingers further down. Your hips jolted as he ran his fingers up your pussy, letting him feel just how wet you were. He brought his hand out from under both of you and you whined again, this time in protest at the loss of his hand. 

“Is this all for me, sweet girl.” He squeezed your waist, making you sit up slowly and look at him, grinding a little more desperate now that he pulled his hand away. You watched as he stuck his fingers in his mouth, tasting you. Your jaw opened slightly, and your eyes darkened as he moaned, tasting just how good and sweet you were. 

“Fuck Steve. Stop being such a fucking tease.” You barely managed out before you shoved his chest hard enough that he fell backwards onto his elbows on your bed. He looked up at you, eyes blown wide with the thought of fucking you sensless. “Get all the way on the bed Steve.” 

Steve, with little to no hesitation scrambled back onto the bed so he was fully laying down across it. His elbows reach your pillows as he barely holds himself up, watching as you eyed the strained denim where his dick was practically screaming to be touched. 

Once you had decided he moved far enough away, You took off the yellow crew neck revealing the lack of bra underneath. Steve groaned as your nipples pebbled from the contact to the air, regardless of how warm it was in the apartment. He moved to sit up but you just shoved his chest, and he fell back on his elbows. Your body rolled slightly, unhappy at the loss of contact from Steve, but you wanted something, and you knew that if you asked Steve to get you the moon, he would steal a couple extra stars just in case, which is why you wanted to suck him off before you asked him. 

“Baby I wanna taste you.” 

Steve’s eyes closed and his breathing became staggered. “U-Uh yea baby, what..um. Whatever you want.” 

“I want you to watch me. But..” His heart started beating faster as he felt you palm him over his jeans. He let out a breathy moan. “You can’t touch me.” 

Steve’s eyes flew open and as you pulled any of the hair that had fallen in your face, out of it. “W-What. Y/n..”

You kept your hand slowly palming at his bulge as you moved up along his body to kiss hip lips. Your tits ghosted over his chest making him shiver at the faint contact, and making your breath hitch at the way the contact felt on your nipples. “If you don’t touch me baby, You get a prize.” You kissed him softly, a contrast to the way you had been talking to him before. You were asking him to trust you. He kissed back and nodded. “Y-yeah, baby.” He managed out before leaning up on his elbows again, to watch you. 

You let your hands rake down his chest, your touch leaving chills down his body, and made his dick jump, causing goosebumps all over his body. 

“Fuck gorgeous.” 

You smirked up at him before kissing the little line of his V that was peeking out from above his jeans, using one of your hands to pop the button. You managed to pull off his jeans and boxers in one pull, something you bragged about to your friends whenever they asked about your sex life, but that was neither here nor there. 

You both watched as his dick sprang free, hitting his stomach. The movement caused Steve to whine a bit. “Baby I’ve got you cumming before I’ve even touched you.” You muttered to him, spitting into your hand before grabbing him. 

Steve lifted his hips into your hands, unable to stop himself. “Fuck babygirl.” He exhaled, watching as you licked the precum dripping down his dick. You moved your other hand down to his balls and squeezed them gently in your hand, watching as he tilted his head back and moaned. 

“You like that Stevie?” You smirked as he bucked his hips up, trying to resist the urge to fuck himself with your hand. You paused, waiting for him to make eye contact again. Once he managed to gain some semblance of his mind back, he titled his head up, chest rapidly rising and falling, looking into your eyes. The sheer control you had over him just made you hotter than possible. 

Slowly, you started moving your hand up and down, watching as he squirmed,  trying not to rush you. Eventually, you moved one of your hands up your body and slowly started palming at your own tits. Slowly rolling your nipple between your thumb and pointer finger, moaning at the feeling. Steve was about to lose his fucking mind. 

You were getting off watching yourself fuck him. 

You smirked at him once he realized what you were doing. “Tell me what to touch next baby.” 

Steve moaned loudly, and tilted his head back for a moment, trying to focus on anything other than the feeling of your hand on his dick and your hand on your tits, pleasuring yourself. 

“Tell me where to touch next Steve.” 

He managed to look back up at you, his hips slowly quickening as you continued to touch your chest. “W-Where do you–fuck princess–where do you want to be-be touched.” His eyes couldn’t leave your form as you licked your lips and slowly kissed down his dick, before slowly licking all the way up it again. 

“I wanna see how wet you are.” He managed out before he moaned again. “B-baby I’m not….” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m not gonna last much longer if you..” 

“I know Stevie.” You cooed as you continued to move your hand up and down his length. “But you’re such a good boy, you’re doing so good for me.” 

Steve’s jaw dropped and his chest was rising and falling faster and faster. You were moving just slow enough, teasing just enough, to keep him on the edge. 

You let go of him, making him panic and open his eyes. “Baby please, fuck I’m so close pl—” But the words froze in his throat once he watched as you slowly trailed that same hand down your own body and rub your clit with your thumb, letting out a moan, just for him. His mouth went dry as you slowly stuck two fingers into that pretty little cunt of yours, moaning slightly as you did, before pulling them out, covered in your pretty little wetness, just for him. 

The sound that left Steves mouth was not human, as he watched you slather yourself around his dick, just to then slowly put him in your mouth, letting him almost bottom out in your throat. 

“Oh my god.” He moaned out. “Fuck, baby, fuck I’m gonna–” He cut himself off with a moan as you slowly started to bob on his dick, choking slightly everytime you took him all the way in. You squeezed his thigh softly to let him know it was okay before you moved your hand back to his balls, squeezing them every time he bottomed out in your mouth. The sight alone was enough to make him cum right then and there, but what did him in was the way you kept twisting your tongue around the tip, just making him sensitive enough. You felt his dick twitching as he fucked up into your mouth. 

“Baby I–I–, Fuck Baby I’m gonna cu–” His orgasm hit him like a fucking freight train as he came in your mouth. Steve moaned your name loudly in between the rest of the moans he could barely contain. You felt the cum dripping down the back of your throat as you held his hips down, still moving your head, letting him let it all out into your mouth. 

Once he had been pushed to the brink of overstimulation, and his dick started to soften, you sat up and slowly crawled over him, raking your eyes over the wreckage you caused. His hands found quickly wrapped around your body and pulled you flush against him. Steve was sure you could hear his heart beating out of his chest. You slowly raked one of your hands through his hair. 

You slowly kissed his jaw, waiting for him to come to. 

Steve eventually was able to open his eyes, and look down at you. “What’s my prize you fucking deviant.” He managed out, voice still wrecked from the sheer amount of sound that came out while he fucked your mouth. His hands were slowly roaming over your body, touching every inch of you. 

You laughed softly and kissed his jaw again as he squeezed your ass with his hand. Propping yourself up on one elbow, you kissed his lips softly. 

“You’re fucking beautiful.” he mumbled against your lips, listening as you sighed so prettily. 

“Baby if you’re too fucked out, I can save your prize for tomorrow morning.” You whispered against his lips, slowly rubbing your thumb across his pecs, humming as he squeezed your ass again. 

“No fucking way because if that’s what I got to earn a prize, then I want the fucking prize.” Pressing you against him, watching as you still squeezed your legs together. 

“I want to ride you...”

Steve looked at you, almost cautiously, “Anything you want gorgeo-”

“—Your face.”  

A quiet ‘oh’ left his mouth, while a blush spread across your face. 

“Don’t get all shy on me now princess.” His hand reach down and tilted your chin up, forcing you to look back at him. 

“If you’re sure then who am I to deny such a fucking prize.” He licked his lips, lust blown eyes met yours as you let out the breathe you were holding. 

Steve watched as you nodded and lightly tapped against his chest, signaling for him to lay back down. You maneuvered out of your pajama shorts and underwear, tossing them across the room–finding them was a later problem. 

Your legs straddled over Steve’s chest, and his hands slowly slid up your thighs, letting his thumbs rub against the soft doughy flesh. Everytime he moved his thumbs up closer and closer, your hips would start to roll ever so slightly. 

“Steve…” You sighed out as he kissed up your thigh, before switching to the other one whenever he got too close. Except this time, you couldn’t reprimand him for teasing you, since you were his prize, and he could fuck you seven ways to heaven if he wanted. 

Frustration was starting to build up as he kept ghosting his lips over your cunt. Steve watched as your thighs started to shake, your chest heaving up and down, and your hair messily framing the most hypnotizing eyes, watching his every move, begging him to touch her. 

Steve could spend the rest of his life worshiping you–your thighs wrapped around his face, kissing up your stomach to reach your lips, leaving hickies spread across your chest like stars. So when he hooked his arms under your thighs, and pulled you down towards his mouth, he felt as if he was in heaven, hearing the yell of excitement leave your lips, quickly replaced with a moan as he slowly licked up your entire cunt. Flicking his tongue around your lip, and feeling your whole body react. 

Your hands shot out and clung to the headboard as Steve used his tongue to slowly draw figure eights across your clit. 

“Oh my god. Fuck. Steve—Baby please–” You let out a load moan when Steve shoved his tongue up into you, his nose brushing your clit. 

Your hips were moving as you began to ride his face. Steve just continued to lap up into you, moaning once he realized you were fucking yourself on his face. 

The vibrations ran straight through your body and to your tits. “Fuc-Fuck Stevie Baby.” 

Your moans only made his tongue move faster, before he brought one of his hands down and started rubbing your clit with his thumb. 

Your orgasm was quickly building in the pit of your stomach. You felt it grow as he moaned again when your thighs started to squeeze his head.

Moans and swears and gasps continued to fall from your mouth as you rode his mouth. 

Steve was completely drunk on you, lapping up your wetness as if he was a man starved. The noises you were making were beyond pornographic as he continued to fuck you with his tongue. 

“Fuck—Steve, fuck baby. I’m–Can I come Stevie fuck.” 

His brain short circuted for a moment as you continued to beg him to let you cum all over his face, make a mess of his lips and chin and chest. 

He looked up at you, eyes connecting with his. Just as you did, Steve quickly shifted your hips and sucked on your clit, while rolling it around with his tongue.

It was too much. 

You screamed his name as you came all of his face, hips spasming and he continued, pinning you down with his arms, not letting you move away from his mouth. You were the prettiest sight to see, cumming over him, like a goddess. 

He shifted slightly and started to fuck up into you with his tongue again, forcing you to start riding his mouth again, nose hitting your clit causing you to moan his name over and over again. Before the first orgasm was even over, the pressure of another one forced its way through your body.

One of your hands flew down into Steve’s hair, yanking on it roughly, causing him to moan into you. Your mouth opened but no sound came out as you gushed into Steve's mouth, pushing through your second orgasm, and him gladly drinking it up. 

This time, it was too much and your hips jerked away from his face, and onto his chest, soaking it. 

The two of you were panting as your body seized and shuddered, letting the pleasure roll over and over and over until it was bearable enough to look down at steve. 

His face glistened with your cum, dripping down his lips—it was the hottest sight you had ever seen. 

Neither of you said anything as you sat on his chest, body still shifting everytime another wave of your orgasm hit you, leaking down his chest. 

He just slowly placed kisses along your thighs, watching you come down from the intense high, thumb gently rubbing against your hip. 

“Don’t look at me..” You manage out quietly, a soft laugh following it. 

Steve kissed your thigh again. “Want me to let go of your legs baby?” 

“Not yet.” was his answer, and he complied, just watching as you slowly finished coming down. 

“Mmmkay.” You whispered and slowly lifted yourself off of his chest, and moved your leg around so you could lay down next to Steve. 

Steve sat up quickly, and kissed you, fervently but softly, letting your body relax. His lips didn't leave yours as he slowly finished laying you down. 

Eventually steve broke off the kisses and got off the bed to wipe you off his chest. 

The second your head hit the pillow, your eyes were closing and sleep was edging closer and closer.

Steve watched as your breaths started to even out and kissed your forehead before wandering off and locating the bathroom. He smiled as he switched on the lights, and the mirror in front of him lit up. He dug through one of the boxes, eventually finding a towel and using it to clean up your messy adventure, but looking at himself in the mirror.

Maybe everything was just the way it was supposed to be, maybe he was fucked up and flawed and his body was wrecked with scars, but—

“Steve?” He heard your voice carry through the apartment, pulling him from his moment.

You watched as he walked back into the bedroom.

“Are you okay?” You had made your way under the covers of your bed, eyes narrowing at his prolonged abscence from your bed.

“I’m okay babygirl. How are you doin’?” He slipped under the covers and pulled you into his chest, arms wrapped snuggly around your back.

Your lips kissed his neck softly before you rested your forehead on his collar.

“If you're just going to keep running to the city to see me." You muttered. "You should move in.”

Steve is sure he misheard you, but when you look up at him with those eyes, he knows you’re dead serious.

Maybe everything was perfectly fine, maybe he was perfectly okay.

“I’d love nothing more babygirl.” He whispered, kissing your forehead, watching as you smiled contently, starting to drift off to sleep.

And suddenly, it was quiet, except for the soft inhale and exhale of your breath. But this time, instead of everything wrong, all he could think about was how right everything was.

And for the first time, in a long time, Steve Harrington was looking forward to what his everything could be.

[marchsfreakshow]

It's A Sin [Jimmy Darling]

Angst. Maybe a good ending.

Dandy stole you. That's what Jimmy thinks anyway. You wanted to take a break, and you left the Freakshow for a while. In that time, Dandy wooed you. You didn't come back. Even if you did, Dandy wouldn't let you.

I'm so sorry for this, I just thought of it and thought it would be good to get back into writing for Jimmy<3

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Weeks passed.

Months.

You hadn't come back.

"leave it, Jimmy. Seriously...they would've come back by now." Eve mentioned. But he couldn't. He couldn't just live his life without you to help him and live by his side. Fucking Dandy.

Jimmy sat by the ticket booth, day after day. Not eating, drinking, not even looking back once. Still with a glint of hope in his eyes that you would come back. Back into his arms, and into the Freakshow where you belonged. He held the picture of you in his hands, always. Standing with Elsa and Ma Petite, performing together, smiling the night away. But Dandy just couldn't help himself.

He couldn't stop himself from wooing you with the possibility of a warm meal and a fluffy bed every single night. Being with a man who won't be charmed by other women and was 'normal'. You defended Jimmy at first, saying how he was as normal as you or I. But the baby wasn't having it. He stomped around screaming nothing until he picked you up and threw you in the car. "You're mine now." He seethed. You spat and tugged at the car door. Locked. A shit-eating grin appeared on his face when you realised you couldn't get out.

The drive was silent and awkward. You muttered insults. Dandy ignored. But when you got to the manor, you ran. You ran as far as you could. Away from Dandy.

That's what Jimmy hoped anyway. He hoped you were running. Back towards your home. In reality, you were swooned ever so slightly. You were Dandy's now. Sleeping in a plush, big bed every night with a warm breakfast in bed in the morning. You could live like this forever. Everything you ever wanted, right at your fingertips. Where was your Jimmy in your mind? The last thought in your mind when you fall asleep at night. How he could also be happy like this, but he refuses.

Every single thing about you was missed. It was starting to feel wrong. To love you and miss you so much. Heartache, heartbroken, lost. Desperately waiting and searching for you every morning. Waking up every morning wishing you were still asleep in his arms, missing the way you kissed him so gently, and how Motherly you were with Pepper and Salty. Pepper cried when she realised you were gone. One of the kindest souls, abandoned her, more heartbreak. Jimmy felt guilty for you. He couldn't look them in the eyes anymore. The man spent hours staring at your photos, missing your pretty laugh more day after day.

"I miss them so badly..."

"I know Jimmy. I know. But there's no point sittin' and mopin' around in front of the tent all day. Come eat."

"go away Ma.."

He couldn't bear to look his mother in the eyes. He was betraying everyone, but he wanted nothing more than to see you running towards him on the road, jumping into his safe, protective arms once again, and being back home. She sighed, and just turned away, walking back into the Freakshow tent.

Time passed.

A cold October night.

No one around here, no one there.

Breaths, and slowing down footsteps. A lit-up sign in front of their eyes. 1am. No one behind them, to the right, left or in front of. No car following them quietly. Opening the curtains, they walked in. Radio silence. It felt like they had to walk on air. Everything was the way it was when they left. When they walked out of the door, and out of the freaks' lives. You heard your beloved nickname. "Schön..?" Elsa asked quietly, standing in shock. Whether it was happy or angry shock you didn't know until she rushed to you, a grip around your tired body pulling you up. "Mein gott.. schieße.." German mutters and swears.

"I never shoulda left Elsa. Darl', I'm so sorry.." you whispered into her shoulder, knowing to hold in your tears. Both of you spoke for what felt like hours, and now you were standing by the stage, waiting for Elsa to signal you.

"seriously Elsa? This has to happen now?" You missed his voice. You felt like putty already, but you silently coughed and stood up straight.

"Yes! It cannot wait any longer." Jimmy tiredly chuckled. Oh, how you could be a puddle right now, entranced by him just like you were when you were first introduced to him. Lights cut, you stepped onto the stage with shaky legs and hands, facing the wall. The sudden awareness of lights made. You take a deep, incredibly shaky breath. Jimmy recognised you instantly. He stood up, anger, confusion, and love filling his brain. And in a second, you spun on your heel. Eyes meeting eyes. Seeing the sadness in Jimmy's look made you want to fade into the wall and never address him ever again. He muttered your name as the urge to fall to your knees grew.

"Jimmy.." you muttered back, half smiling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You were almost cut off as Jimmy jumped to meet you on the stage, holding your hands tightly.

"Why? Why Dandy? Of all fuckin' people?"

"Because I was selfish." You looked away at the ground, feeling too guilty to ever look in his eyes again. "I was fucking selfish and lacked judgement. This is home." A hug was the last thing you expected as a response, but Jimmy held you tight, what you had craved for the last two months. He sobbed into your shoulder, and everything hit you like a freight truck. Hearing the one you loved to cry, realising how badly you fucked up. It made you burst, gripping the loose fabric on his back.

"Jimmy Darling, darling, I never shoulda left you. I'm sorry for being an asshole."

"My pretty sweetheart.." he muttered, holding your face, both your eyes and his, glassy. And a kiss. One like never before. Desperate hands around his neck, your back, weak knees, small giggles and smiles. Being held by the one who gave you the world despite everything. This felt right.

"I'm so glad Elsa woke me up." He chuckled, resting his forehead on yours.

"I'm glad I came back."

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tagging: @taintandviolent @babygorewhore @slvt4jamesmarch

[lillaydee]

Uncoupled - October Part 1

Roommate! Joel Miller / Reader

Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce.

Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?

WARNINGS: Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), No age gap, Roommate Joel, Teacher Joel, Handyman Joel, Insecure Joel, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning.

SERIES MASTER LIST

September

---

A couple of weeks after school started, you sort of found a new routine. You woke up at 4.30 every morning, head to the bakery, get there by five, did your morning prep, and by the time the bakery opened at seven, you went home, waking Ellie and getting her and Joel’s breakfast and lunch ready. You said goodbye to her at the gate, and Joel would walk her all the way to school. You picked Ellie up from school at three and brought her back to the bakery, leaving at 5.30, just before closing, usually arriving home just as Joel finished making dinner. You fell asleep every night at ten and repeat the same routine the next day.

You woke up one day and realized that all of the small, annoying shit the old house was giving you, the squeaky doors, the leaking faucets, the lose windows, the wobbly shelves, were no longer a problem. Joel fixed them all. The man didn’t know how to sit still. He had, in the month he lived there, gotten rid of the pink wallpaper in his room, and taken off the carpet, sanding and repainting the walls dark blue. His brother Tommy came over on the weekends, helping him do up the room bit by bit, and now, with the exception of the princess bed, the room didn’t look like Barbie’s dream house anymore.

Tommy was nice, you found. You and Maria spent the time he was over just lounging around the house, cooking and baking together, just chattering away as the men tried to get his room look less pink. Ellie had decided watching the men work was more interesting than watching you paint Maria’s toes, walking around the house with a mask on at Joel’s insistence, pouting when she was made to leave the room whenever something dusty was going on. She straight up jumped away when Maria offered to paint her nails.

When you couldn’t pick Ellie up at three every now and again, Joel happily did so, sometimes taking her with him to school for the rest of the day, sometimes sending her to the bakery when he had meetings.

Everything seemed to be going well. There was an easy routine between you and Joel, roommates, each doing their part taking care of the house and somewhat raising Ellie together. You felt at ease, knowing that the arrangement was working. Max and Jen far away from your thoughts, and seemingly, Joel’s too. Everything was going smoothly, as far as the two of you were concerned.

Until one day.

A group of teachers from the school came in for tea at the bakery. They sat down, you served them the usual scones with jam and clotted cream, sandwiches, pastries and of course, tea. They thanked you and began eating, gossiping as the did so. You busied yourself behind the counter, clearing empty trays and wiping the shelves.

“This spread is delicious,” one of them started. “Your food is delicious,” she said to you, raising her cup of tea at you. The others quickly followed. You thanked them, telling them you were glad they liked it.

“I can’t believe I’ve never stopped here. How’d you know about this place anyway?”

“Oh, Joel recommended it. He said the food is delicious, and I have to say, I agree,” one of the male teachers responded, biting into a sandwich. “The man has great taste,” he added, nodding furiously at the sandwich in approval.

“Hmm… that’s not what I heard,” one of the ladies said, taking a pastry from the dish. “Apparently, he left his wife for a single mother. A plain one, at that, according to the gym chicks.”

“What do you mean?”

“He moved out of his house, and moved in with this lady who has a kid. He’s been playing daddy to the little girl for the past month or so. And the lady? Not hot. Such a step down from his wife.”

“How not hot?”

“She’s fat, apparently. Lucy said she didn’t look like someone who had ever seen the inside of a gym ever. At least a size six. Short, too.”

“Size six is not fat. God, not all women need to be models you know.”

“She said AT LEAST a size six. AND… short! Are you kidding? Have you seen his wife? She’s gorgeous. And may I remind you, that man is totally hot. Why he would leave his wife for someone less than, I have no idea.”

“Well, maybe she’s nice. I heard his wife was quite the B.”

The woman doing all the talking shrugged, “Well, if I ever get a Joel Miller, I will never let him go. Treat him like a king. It’s a wonder the wife didn’t chase after him. I’m surprised he’s the type to cheat though. He seemed like a stand-up guy. Shame.”

“Well, maybe the wife is the problem,” the guy said. “Women cheat too, you know.”

“On Joel Miller? Impossible. Who would cheat on him? He’s absolutely delicious!”

The men in the group shook their heads, while the ladies cackled. It was all merry and fun at that table.

Except you had heard everything. Okay, you didn’t care about the gossip, none of your business. But you didn’t like that they were talking about Joel behind his back, accusing him of all sorts of things.

And what they said about you… the way you looked…

Shake it off. Who cared, right? Nothing new. Nothing you hadn’t heard before.

Didn’t hurt any more than it usually did. No less either.

The door jingled. You looked up to see Joel peeking his head in, gesturing for you to come outside. The man he had recommended the bakery to greeted him, Joel raising a hand at him and the others. The ladies waved at him, suddenly tucking their hair behind their ears and sitting up a bit straighter.

You went to the door. His truck was idling out front, Ellie clearly asleep in the back seat.

“She got a bit to excited during gym time, Mrs Adler said. I’m gonna take her home, okay? Let her nap at home?”

Oh, okay. Hang on, you told him. You went back inside and got the bag with the rice pudding you had set aside for him. His smile widened, his dimple showing, pulling at the waistband of his slacks while shaking his head. He squeezed your arm and thanked you, running back to his truck and driving off with Ellie.

When you got back inside, the table had gone all quiet. None of them were looking at you. You walked in and went straight to the back, stopping just inside the swinging door.

“Shit, that’s her? You think she heard us?”

“You mean, did she hear you? While you were speaking at the top of your voice and calling her fat? Yeah, she definitely heard you. And no. She’s not fat. She’s cute, too.”

“I was just telling you what Lucy said,” the woman sounded defensive now.

“You mean Lucy who had had a crush on Joel all these years? The one Joel had never looked at twice? She’s probably just bitter Joel left his wife for anyone but her. Sheesh Elaine. Way to get our food sneezed on next time.”

“I can never come back, can I?” Elaine said, a smidge of regret in her tone.

The group ate the rest of their tea in silence, before one of the men came to the counter to pay. You gestured for Frank to go get it.

You went into your office and sat on your futon. You hated that you were still so affected by talks about your looks. Max had done a great job putting you down about it. You actually believed him. You still did, if you were being honest. You had never been much to look at, maybe that’s why you clung on to Max for so long, despite everything. Who would have you now?

You actually felt bad for Joel. He was just being nice, and now people think he’s with you. Plain, short, ‘fat’ old you. He was an extremely good looking man. He would not want for prospective dates. Women would certainly line up to interview for the much coveted position of his girlfriend or even a one night stand if he put out an ad saying he’s single and looking. What if he missed out on an active dating life because people think he was taken? He didn’t deserve that. He’s a good man. He should get the chance to move on. Maybe involving him so much in Ellie’s life was not such a good idea.

Last week, when you took Ellie to the farmer’s market, you came home to him asking why you didn’t ask him to go along. He would’ve loved to join the two of you. You just told him you thought he’d be busy with his room reno. He just shrugged and said the room would still be there when he got back, he’s in no rush. But now that you knew this little piece of gossip, you were glad you didn’t. People would certainly talk if he was seen at the farmer’s market with you and Ellie, more than those at his school. A lot of people knew Joel and Jen, so that can’t be a good thing for his private life.  

And who were you kidding. Someone like you certainly would not belong with someone like Joel. You could just imagine what people would be saying. She must be rich, or she must be great in bed – how else would she have landed a hunk like that. Come on, if a pair of gay women could swoon over him, what of straight women?

That’s settled, then, you needed to limit your contact with Joel outside of the house – Ellie’s too. It’s for his own good.

**********

Joel pushed the cart slowly, Ellie walking ahead of him, grabbing the cereal she had to have for tomorrow’s breakfast. He had planned to take her home, but she woke up and made a fuss about the empty cereal box that morning. Might as well shop for the rest of the week, he thought. He texted you telling you where he had gone with Ellie, telling you he was gonna pick up dinner at the store, the roast chicken looked too good to pass up. There was a bit of a discussion on salads versus coleslaw at the salad counter, and coleslaw won by one vote. He couldn’t lift both his legs to accompany his hands during the voting process, while Ellie had laid on her back on the floor and raised all four limbs to succession.

They were discussing potato salads versus mashed potatoes when a familiar voice called his name. He turned to see Lucy, one of the gym teachers walking towards him. She hugged him tight in greeting, a little too tight for his comfort, holding on a little too long he had to subtly push her off him.

“Didn’t know you shopped here,” she said, reaching out to rub Ellie’s head, the little girl squirming away to Joel’s other side, holding on to his pocket for protection from the over grabby lady, hand furiously smoothing her now dishevelled hair. “Hi Ella.”

“It’s Ellie,” he corrected her.

“How old are you Ella?” she asked, bending a little to speak to her. How could you work with children and be this awkward around them, he thought. Ellie just looked at her with a raised brow, not answering.

“She’s five,” Joel answered for her.

“Oh, that’s perfect. My nephew is five too. Why don’t you bring her over to my house this weekend? I have a pool. We could have a few drinks while they play?”

“It’s getting too cold for a swim,” he said. “Besides, I’m kinda busy. Any playdates should go through Lily,” he told her. “Even if Lily says yes, she will be accompanying Ellie this weekend, not me.”

Lucy’s face lost her fake smile for a bit but recovered quickly. “Oh, I don’t know how comfortable I would be having a strange woman at my house. We could just pick another weekend when you’re free?”

“I still have to talk to Lily, she’s her kid. She makes the decisions.”

Lucy tried to coax him into agreeing, and he kept saying he should ask you. She gave up after a while, disappointment painted all over her face. He left before she could say anything else, leaving her with a sourpuss in front of the salad counter.

He brought it up with you when he got home, telling you that a colleague of his was interested in having Ellie over for a playdate with her nephew.

“She didn’t want a playdate for me, Joel, she wanted to have a playdate with you,” Ellie said as she pulled a chair out for herself, climbing on it.

Your heart stopped. Here we go.

“What? No she didn’t. We work together. You’ve met her,” he pulled a bowl from the shelf you couldn’t reach for you, opening the coleslaw package, “Lucy. She said hi that first day of school? The blonde one,” he told you, pulling another bowl for mashed potatoes.

Ah… the tall one, the one who looked like Heidi Klum. The one you knew had a crush on him.

“Yes she was,” Ellie said, placing a spoon in the bowl of coleslaw in front of her. “She didn’t even look at me after she asked my age. And she was touching you too much.”

You laughed, shaking your head, placing the roast chicken on the table while he pulled out the Brita filter from the fridge, pouring water into the glasses on the table.

“Joel, she was flirting with you. She just wanted to spend time with you. How could you not see that?”

“No she wasn’t. I’ve known her five years, she knows I’m married. If she was flirting, she should have just told me so I can say no.”

“Why would you say no? If I remember correctly, she’s hot.”

He shrugged, cutting the chicken into quarters, “I don’t feel like it. I just got out of a marriage, only one foot out, at that. I’m not even divorced yet. Not exactly an ideal time to be dating, is it?”

“God, you’re clueless. I wasn’t even there, and even I know she was flirting.”

He shovelled potatoes onto your plate and asked you to eat, if only to shut you up.

**********

You were watching some show on Netflix while rummaging in the laundry basket looking for the pair for Ellie’s lone sock in your hand. Joel was lounging on the couch behind you, supposedly not watching the Duke of something pining for the Lady some name at some dance.

“Hey, do you really think she was flirting with me?”

You huffed a laugh, turning around to see him staring at you with a confused look on his face.

“Yes, I do.”

“Why do people do that?

“Do what?”

“Flirt with married people.”

“Yeah, cause I know the answer to that. May I remind you how we met?”

He gave you a small laugh.

“Do you miss it?”

“What, being married?”

He nodded, a sullen look on his face. You put the lone sock down.

“Sometimes, especially those times at the beginning, you know?”

He nodded again, “When it was good.”

You nodded. You drew a big breath and turned your entire body to face him.

“Joel, maybe you shouldn’t pick up Ellie anymore. Or go anywhere with her alone. Or me and her alone.”

He sat up. “Why? Are you not comfortable? Am I overstepping?”

“No,” you said quickly. “It’s just, things like this. People are talking, they think we’re together. That you’re dating a single mom.”

“So?”

“So, what if the day comes for you to start dating again and people think you’re already in a relationship? I don’t want you to miss out on dating because of some idle gossip.”

“Pfft… I don’t care about that. Like I told you, I’m not ready to date. Not while I’m still married. Jen may have moved on, heck, she moved on while we’re still together, but I’m no cheater. I refuse to be one. And even once the divorce is final, I don’t even know if I want to jump right in again. I don’t know if I have the energy to go through all that ‘getting to know one another’ phase again. Too much work.”

You smiled, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You ever think about dating again?”

It was your turn to scoff. “Ellie,” you told him. “She’s my priority. And let’s face it, men are not exactly lining up at the door for me, and by the time she’s off to college I’ll be near my mid forties. So attractive, to start dating someone at that age for the second time in your life.”

He raised his brows in agreement, lips pouting, nodding slowly. You picked up the lone sock again, this time turning the entire laundry basket over, picking up the pieces of clothing one by one, folding them and placing them in the laundry. By the time you finished, the lone sock was still lonely. You stood up, looking all around you for it, going to check the dryer, Ellie’s laundry basket, to no avail.

“How could one sock go missing? I placed them in the net to wash! That dryer is brand new. It couldn’t have swallowed it already?” you ranted, annoyed that you couldn’t find this one sock. You went back to the kitchen to look in the dryer one more time, coming back to a shaking Joel on the couch, laughing uncontrollably. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the sock you had spent almost an hour looking for. You snatched it from him, swatting his face with it a few times. God, you’re such a jerk! He guffawed, telling you it was the funniest thing he had ever seen in his life. You tied the socks together and shoved the entire basket on his belly, telling him since it was so funny he could go put the clothes away.

He was still laughing when he came back out of Ellie’s room with the empty basket going into the kitchen to put it away, coming back with the rice pudding you had given him, two spoons in his hands, a small coaxing pout on his face. Peace offering? You matched his pout angrily as you snatched the spoon off his hand and let him sit next to you, enjoying the sweet treat together as you watched the Duke ride a carriage, a faraway look on his face.

**********

You exited the shower the next morning in a hurry, dropping your towel in the laundry basket and opening the closet door a little bit too enthusiastically – you overslept. It was five already. You texted Tess as you ran into your bathroom to shower, and now was pulling anything you could reach to dress in a hurry. In your panic, you accidentally nudged the old closet door further than you should, and the thing just fell off the hinges, dropping its heavy, solid wooden self on your toe.

You screamed your lungs out, all the while staggering under the weight of the solid door, which was now leaning on you.

Even in your painful daze, you heard Joel’s bed squeak loudly, his door opening and a panicked knock on your door. Lily? What’s going on, are you okay? Lily!

“The closet door just fell. Crushed my toe. It’s heavy. Fuck! It hurts!”

“I’m coming in, okay?”

Just as the door began to open, your realized, to your horror, that you were naked. Completely naked.

“No, wait, Joel, don’t come in!”

The door stopped opening. He was still outside. “Why not?” he was clearly panicking.

“I’m not wearing anything. I just got out of the shower.”

“Oh, erm… I’m gonna go in okay, my eyes are closed. I’m gonna look the other way, grab a blanket okay?”

Oh God, how soon can you die if you just let the door fall on you? Fuck! This was mortifying! “Okay,” your voice was so small, but he heard you anyway. He came in, facing the other way, wearing only a pair of boxers. He reached for the blanket on your bed, and backed towards you, asking you to tell him how far away he had to go before he reached you. You guided him, mortified by what was going on, your head light from the pain in your toe. When he reached you, you told him he could turn, but please Joel, keep your eyes closed. He will, he told you, his voice calming you down. He turned, reached out and found the door, quicky lifting it off your toe as you grabbed the blanket from him, wrapping it around your body.

He opened his eyes when you told him you were decent, and quickly placed the door against the closet, lifting you up and placing you on your bed. You were in tears by this point, the pain was searing. He went back outside and you could hear him rummage around for something, coming back in, dressed in an inside out t-shirt this time, the first aid kit from his bathroom in his hand. He sat on the floor, lifting your leg up on his lap, studying the toe. The nail bit looked like it was crushed, there was blood all over. You bit on the blanket as he cleaned the wound, shaking slightly from the pain.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but maybe we should go to the ER just to be sure.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go later if it gets worse,” you told him.

“You’re not going to the bakery today,” he told you, taking your phone from your bed and snapping a picture of your wrapped up toe and sending it to Tess and Frank.

“No, I can’t do that,” you said, stubbornly, standing up for a split second before sitting back down, surrendering to the pain. “Okay,” you said defeatedly. He stood up and lifted you, blanket and all, towards the pillows, going back to the closet and grabbing you some clothes, placing them next to you. He got some painkillers from the first aid kit and told you to take them, he’ll get you a sandwich. All protests and attempts at bravery from you fell on deaf ears, and you quickly put your panties on, carefully avoiding the toe in doing so, your shirt went on next. You were struggling to put your injured toe and the leg attached to it through the leg hole of your pyjama pants when he returned, handing you a cheese sandwich, and then bending down to help you put your pants on, his fingers brushing against your skin as he did so, making you shiver. Must be the pain. It was making your leg a bit too sensitive.

He waited until you finished your sandwich and tucked you in, telling you to stay. He’ll get Ellie ready in the morning and get her to school. He’ll be back during lunchtime to check on you. Stay in bed, he warned, one eyebrow raised at you. You pouted, eyes still teary from the pain. You could only nod. What the heck else were you going to do? Even lying down your toe was throbbing.

He wrapped your blanket tightly around you, picking up the empty sandwich plate, telling you to sleep. As you drifted away from the strong painkillers, you felt him brush your hair with his hand, his lips softly brushing your temple, and then everything went dark.

Joel closed your bedroom door and went into his own, shutting the door behind him, leaning on the door with the sandwich plate still in his hand. He closed his eyes, getting his breathing under control, rubbing his face, shaking his head a little.

This was exactly what he was worried about from the moment he saw you in your car in front of his marital home.

Fuck.

---

October Part 2

[ethaninthewilde]

wanted to share something good!!!

In early 2022 I moved to Sydney from Perth at 16 to get away from an abusive family and have a fresh start. Less than 2 months later I lost my job because I started having seizures, and it got to the point where I was having ambulances called almost every time I left the house. I had to stop studying, I was deemed medically unfit to work, and I became homeless as a result. I was rejected from almost every youth crisis organisation in the city because my seizures made me an "insurance liability" or they just didn't know how to or didn't want to deal with it; I lived in the one youth refuge that did accept for me 3 weeks before they told me I had to leave because I was becoming more and more wheelchair-reliant and they didn't "have capacity to accomodate that" (despite initially telling me that my disabilities were not an issue and I could stay for at least 3 months), and I became homeless again. My NDIS was rejected. I finally got a room in a sharehouse with 8 other people in October last year, but my room was up 2 flights of stairs and I was having to physically drag myself up and down everytime I needed the kitchen, the bathroom, anything. I was watched almost every time and it was humiliating and horrible and I hated it but at least I had somewhere to sleep.

Yesterday I picked up the keys to my own semi-accessible apartment. In just over 2 weeks I will be 3 years clean of self harm. My seizures appear to be decreasing and I've reenrolled in uni (half-time). Next week I have my final assessment for my DSP (australian verson of SSDI) application and then that should come through soon.

I am so proud of myself. I don't want to jinx it, but I feel like I've finally gotten through it. I can breathe now. I did this myself, and no one can take that from me. Reconciling where I am right now with younger me who genuinely didn't think I'd make it past age 14 has me in tears.

[plussizefantasia]

Good Punkins

Flufftober Day 21: Pumpkin Patch

Steve Rogers x f!mom!reader

Word Count: 2.7k (actually the longest fic I've written to date)

Warnings: reader is a mom in this one, she is referred to as Mamma several times so if that's not your jam don't read this.

AN: Holy crap this went way beyond my original plan but I just love Steve and little man so much now. This story does have a part two coming later (on day 30). Feedback and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you for reading.

divider credit @royallaesthetics

Steve was an amazing husband. The two of you were married six years ago and within a year you were expecting. Nine months later, Caleb James Rogers was born and you realized something amazing. Steve was an amazing husband, but he was an even better father.

Little Caleb wanted for nothing, but he wasn’t spoiled. He was adventurous and kind and everything that you could ever want in a child. Even as a baby, he wasn’t very fussy. When he was all it took was Steve lifting him into his large arms and cooing at the infant to get him to calm down. At first, you were a little jealous that Steve seemed to have the golden tough when it came to your son, but you couldn’t help the overwhelming feelings of adoration for your husband every time you saw the two of them together.

Caleb was an extremely curious child, he also didn’t like being left out. When you had driven the two of you home last week after picking him up from and he had seen the new decorations your neighbors had put out for Halloween it was no surprise when he asked, “Mamma, why dey have punkins?” You dread the day when he’s able to say the word pumpkin.

“Why do you think they have pumpkins, baby?” You returned.

“Dunno Mamma, but they gots faces in them.” 

“Some of them do yeah,” you opened the door to your house and watched as Caleb climbed up the singular step that led up to your door. You don’t know who designed it, but your little tyke has tripped on it more than once and you’ve made sure to be very watchful every time he tries again.

At the sound of the front door opening, Steve made his way towards the entryway of your home. He looked soft, as he usually did nowadays and you couldn’t love it more. Steve had hung up the shield when Caleb was born and since then he let his hair grow out, and bought a few more pairs of sweats and at your insistence shirts that fit him. He didn’t have abs anymore but that didn’t mean the strength had gone away, just that he was more worried about his family and being there for every moment than staying in peak shape.

“Buddy! How was school?” Steve got down on one knee in order to intercept the charging little boy.

“It was so funs Daddy! I got to play on the park and Mrs. Hilly gave me two gold stars today.” Steve lifted Caleb off the ground and cradled him against his hip. He began walking the two of them towards the kitchen.

“Two stars? That’s great bud.”

“Yeah and on da way home I saw punkins on the ground. Mamma says some of them face faces.”

“Yeah, it’s October buddy, that means some people have started decorating.”

“Decorating for what Daddy?”

“Decorating for Halloween.”

“Can we decorate for Halloween?”

“I don’t see why not, do you want to get a pumpkin and put a face on it with me?” Steve smiled at his son and shifted his eyes towards yours.

“Yes! Can we go gets one now Daddy?”

“Not now baby, we can go this weekend though.” You interrupted, noticing the look on Steve's face. He had a hard time saying no to Caleb and you knew that he was about to go put his shoes on and drive thirty minutes away to the nearest pumpkin patch just to see his little boy smile.

‘But I wants to go now, Mamma.” Your little boy whined.

‘I know baby, but if we go now we won’t have enough time to do all the fun things there. Don’t you want to be able to do all of the things they have?”

“What else do the punkin people have?”

“Um, well they usually have a corn maze and tractor rides. They might have a big ol’ room of corn that you can play in as you do at the park. And they might even have animals you can pet.” You said, thinking back to your childhood memories of going to pumpkin patches with your family.

“They have all of that?” His eyes had gotten wide.

“Yeah baby, they have tons of stuff but if we go tonight we won’t have time to do any of it. But if we wait until Saturday we’ll be able to spend the whole day there.”

‘I want to spend forever there!” 

“I don’t know about forever buddy, you still have to go to school but we can spend the whole day on Saturday how does that sound?” Steve asked the little boy.

“Sounds good Daddy.”

And so, three days later your little family of three loaded into the SUV all bundled up for a cool day at the pumpkin patch, and made your way further out of town and towards the fall-themed activity.

Your little boy was in the backseat singing along to the songs on the radio and occasionally asking nonsensical questions to either you or Steve. And both of you tried your best to answer them as seriously as you could.

Half an hour later you pulled into the farm and Steve rolled around the dirt parking lot looking for an open spot. It wasn’t too busy which you were grateful for, Steve may not exactly be Captain America anymore but that didn’t mean that he doesn’t still get recognized.

Steve parked the car and jumped out before you could start unbuckling Caleb. You rounded your way to the trunk to grab the backpack you had packed full of some extra snacks, a light blanket in case anyone got cold, and a hat and scarf for Caleb in case he needed it. Your husband and son joined you a moment later, Caleb holding onto Steve’s hand and practically bouncing in place.

“Alright baby, we need to go get our tickets to get inside and then we can do whatever you want.”

“Otay Mamma.” 

You passed through the ticket line with ease and without much time passing at all, you were inside. You checked your phone for the time, 10:30. 

“Alright baby, what do you want to do first?” You asked, looking towards your son and patiently waiting for him to make his decision. Caleb scanned his surroundings taking in all there was to do and weighing his options carefully. His eyes landed a little ways away at a large pile of hay that several other children were climbing on top of and running up the side.

“Look, Daddy! A mountain of straw!”

“I see buddy, you wanna go play?” Caleb screamed his assent and grabbed his father’s hand pulling him towards the miniature mountain. You followed behind them and took a seat on a nearby bench to watch your boys have their fun.

Steve would lift Caleb into the sky so he could get to the top and then the little boy would count down and push himself down the hill like a slide. Several times, he would just run straight at the pile and bury himself in the looser straw on the surface. At one point Caleb, convinced Steve to climb to the top of the pile and all at once all of the children playing tried to push him off. You laughed loudly and took pictures the entire time.

Eventually, though your baby boy got a little tired and made his way towards you. He was breathing heavily and his entire body was covered in straw. You pulled a few stray pieces from his hair and offered him one of the juice boxes you had packed.

Steve too came towards your sitting place, also covered head to toe in straw. When you arched a single eyebrow at him and looked him up and down, a small plush, and sheepish expression crossed his face and he looked down at his shoes.

When Caleb’s breathing returned to normal you asked him what he wanted to do next and he immediately perked up.

“You said there would be animals to pet Mamma?” 

“Yeah, baby I think they have some goats if you wanna pet those.”

The rest of the day followed similarly. Caleb running from activity to activity. Sometimes you joined in, sometimes Steve, sometimes both of you. He was having a blast and you were so happy he was getting to make these fun memories like you had. 

Caleb played in the corn pit for a little while, he fed the goats and took a ride on the mini-tractor coaster for the kids. He also had his face painted and the three of you had your photo taken next to the sixteen-foot-tall scarecrow. You all had hotdogs and apple cider for lunch and Caleb insisted that he wanted to go play on the hay pile again.

“When can we get out punkin Mamma?” Caleb said after his third yawn of the last hour. Your little man was fading and fast.

“Right now Baby, let's go get in line for the tractor ride and then we can go out and get our pumpkins. Caleb turned towards Steve and lifted his arms at his father, asking without words to be picked up.

Steve hoisted your son into his arms and the three of you made your way to the actual line to go into the patch. It was nearing time for dinner and you wanted to be able to get your pumpkins and go home before Caleb completely conked out.

One short tractor ride later and the three of you were immersed in the sea of orange gourds. Caleb seemed to perk up when he saw all of the pumpkins and began excitedly running from row to row inspecting them.

Steve and you strolled hand in hand along with him, both of you with soft smiles on your faces as you watched the little man you created having a wonderful day.

“Thank you.” Steve had said, breaking the comfortable silence between the two of you.

“For what?” You laughed.

‘For this” He gestured towards Caleb, also lifting your intertwined hands and placing a kiss on the back of yours, “I never thought I’d get this, so thank you.” You leaned in and softly kissed him, taking your time to let him know through your affection that you’d do just about anything for him. 

“Well then, Thank you too.” You said as you pulled back. 

“Mamma! Daddy! Come on, come look!” Your attention was drawn to your son, jumping up and down next to a couple of pumpkins he seemed to have lined up.

“What did you find bud?” Steve asked when the two of you got close enough.

“Good punkins, we can put faces on dem.” he pointed at the three pumpkins he had lined up. You had to admit, it seemed like Caleb had a knack for picking pumpkins. The ones he had grabbed were practically perfect, with only one of two spots on them.

“Good job, baby these are great ones.” You ruffled his hair. “Alright, we gotta bring them back to the tractor so we can take 'em home. You wanna grab one?” He just nodded and went to grab the biggest of the three.

“How ‘bout Daddy take this one and you can take that one,” Steve said pointing toward the other pumpkin on the ground.

“Otay Daddy, but if you need help let me know.” You both softly laughed at how sweet your little boy was.

“Sure thing, buddy.” Steve hiked the largest pumpkin onto one shoulder and went to grab the stem of the one in his arms.

“What are you doing?” You asked him as he lifted the pumpkin from your hands.

“What was the point of marrying a super soldier if you don’t take advantage of the strength.”

“I didn’t marry you for your strength, I married you for your rugged good looks.”  You responded and he let out a large guffaw followed by a smaller stream of laughter laughter.

Without your arms full you were free to take pictures of the father-son duo carrying their pumpkins side by side toward the tractor. You helped Caleb load his pumpkin up into the wagon that the passengers rode in and watched as he climbed up the steps into the wooden structure. Steve followed after you and the three of you in the corner with the pumpkins at your feet.

When the wagon started moving it began sort of rocking side to side, lulling your little boy closer and closer to sleep. You were sort of impressed that he had lasted that long and pulled him into your lap so that he could be more comfortable. Not even five minutes later he was asleep with his head rested against your shoulder and his arms around your neck.

The tractor pulled back into the main area of the farm and you had to disembark and grab your pumpkins so that other people could have their turn.

Before you could even start to get up with your sleeping son in your arms, Steve had taken him and lifted him onto his shoulders. He had one of Caleb’s legs on either side of his head and the torso of the little boy was leaning on his head, his little hand resting on Steve’s forehead. 

Since he had taken the boy you went to go grab one of the pumpkins but Steve had beaten you to that too. In some miracle, Steve had managed to hold onto not only the sleeping little boy, but all three pumpkins and get off the wagon without jostling any of them too much.

“Steven Grant, let me carry a damn pumpkin.” You chased after your husband, attempting to relieve him of at least one of the decently sized pumpkins. 

“Let me think about that.” He kept walking.

“Steve seriously, I look so mean making you carry everything.”

“You’re not making me do anything Honey, I’m doing this of my own free will.”

“Well, will your free will at least let me grab Caleb.”

“He’s comfy up there”

“Yeah mamma, comfy” a little sleep-riddled voice replied from your husband’s shoulders. And Steve let a smirk of victory cross his face.

“Whatever.” You huffed. Following next to your husband and hoping that nobody else thought you were some kind of nightmare woman who made your husband carry everything.

It was a short trek after that to the car and you began to increase your pace so that you’d be able to open the door for Steve to be able to transfer Caleb back into his car seat, but Steve matched your pace easily and you watching as his smirk continued to grow.

He got to the car first and instead of depositing the pumpkins in the trunk, or going to put Caleb in his seat, Steve opened the passenger door for you and gestured for you to get it.

“You’re kidding.” You deadpanned.

“I got this Honey, just get in the car.”. You didn’t argue just shook your head with exasperation and climbed into the car. Turning the heat on and getting the directions home pulled up on your phone.

Meanwhile, Steve, who you’re now convinced was a juggler in a previous life is opening the hatch of the trunk and placing all three pumpkins plus your backpack that you didn’t even realize he had into the space. He pulled Caleb down from his shoulders and placed a kiss on his head. Closing the trunk, he made his way around to Caleb’s door and opened it without moving the sleeping boy an inch. Steve flawlessly deposited him into this seat and buckled him up with astonishing speed and you had to admit to yourself that watching Steve do all of this was turning you on more than you thought it would.

Finally, Steve opened his door and climbed into the car, starting the engine and looking to you for the go-ahead to leave.

You just leaned across the consul and placed a large kiss on his cheek. Making him smile like a schoolboy.

“I love you.” You had said.

“I love you too.” He had replied before shifting the car into reverse and beginning the half-hour drive home.

You looked into the back seat at the tuckered-out boy in his car seat and thanked the universe and Steve all over again for giving you such an amazing little gift.

[rosalindbeatrice]

Thought I'd dust off this 10-year-old Tumblr and invite A03 readers and any Bob Dylan fans to keep up with my writing here. Other unrelated content to maybe be added, maybe not. I really struggle with personal writing. I always think of it as looking at one's own excrement and then inviting others to gawk too. It feels strange and gross to write a blog and expect others to be interested in it. RE: The Patient. Part VI is in progress. I got blocked in late October--or maybe that's just a grand way of saying "busy." I have a personal life into which I'm forever cramming little interests in side projects, and then it was November 5, 2024, and then of course the unthinkable happened again, which I suppose makes it thinkable. And maybe that's why it wasn't as devastating this time around. I used the occasion to disconnect from the political news cycle and continue a recent left turn into poetry, which I haven't written in 15 odd years or so. Actually Bob Dylan was the reason for my foray back into it. I saw him live in September and was quite moved by the experience. I got to thinking about his legacy, all the interpretations and expectations people put on his lyrics and performances and public endeavors throughout the years, and the disappointment it seemed like 5/6 of the audience that night felt over the fact he's not attempting to play recognizable versions of his songs. Which is ridiculous, because you can go back to 1966 and he wasn't attempting to replicate the recorded versions. It seems ridiculous that anyone should expect an 83-year-old to try to mimic a 25-year-old. So a poem came pouring out and I sent out it for publication. I secretly hope it will be so good that the editors will have no choice to select it. I'm also realistic, since I've gotten my first rejections the past couple months. That's one of my other behind-the-scenes projects. I'm shopping around a book to an agent (not fiction) and I've gotten three or four rejections so far, and I'm just letting it "bake" for now, just like I've been letting The Patient bake, but more on that in a moment.

In November, Bob tweeted: "Saw Nick Cave in Paris recently at the Accor Arena and I was really struck by that song Joy where he sings ‘We’ve all had too much sorrow, now it the time for joy.' I was thinking to myself, yeah that’s about right.” I read Cave's response, and particularly loved this:

I did indeed feel it was a time for joy rather than sorrow. There had been such an excess of despair and desperation around the election, and one couldn’t help but ask when it was that politics became everything.

The world had grown thoroughly disenchanted, and its feverish obsession with politics and its leaders had thrown up so many palisades that had prevented us from experiencing the presence of anything remotely like the spirit, the sacred, or the transcendent – that holy place where joy resides.

While I abhor the lazy line of thinking (and I'm not at all suggesting this is where Cave is coming from) that "both sides are at fault/just as bad/to blame" and have no intention of disengaging from politics, at least locally, Bob and Cave's reflections had me reflecting. Life is so short. Music, poetry, writing, and nature make it worth living. There's something to be said for tuning out of the hateful noise and tuning into those things, at least for select periods. So I wrote poetry and I drank in music and I finished the book I started that night at Bob's concert, Susan Hill's Strange Meeting. I'd never heard of Hill before but had picked up my 1970s paperback copy at a "donate what you can" book sale earlier that day because it was slim enough to carry around. This chance purchase ended up being my favorite book of the year. Not only is Hill an amazing writer, the whole experience of the book was just gutting. I realized midway through that it's a love story. There are no overt overtones of queerness, although I suppose you could read the book that way if you wanted. I kept thinking about the characters days after I read it. I've just bought three or four more of her books. So to get back to The Patient, I haven't written partly because I've been busy in my personal life and partly because I've been directing my creative energies elsewhere. I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge I was stuck on the story, though. I know how it ends, but I couldn't see the footpath there. It didn't bother me overtly. I don't know if I really believe in writer's block, at least for me. I've learned that I go through periods of fallowness and periods of intense growth. I was letting it percolate before I started pushing it along with pomodoros. At some point today, though, I started chewing over Bob and Joyce again, and things clicked. I know fan fiction is "only" fan fiction, but I still take it seriously. I want to do right by the characters.* They just weren't talking to me lately. I know what Joyce wants and what she thinks so wants, and I know what Bob thinks he wants and he's afraid of, but I didn't know what happens in the meantime. So anyway, I'm about 4k words into the chapter with 5k to 6k to go. Estimated completion date is January. The overachiever in me wanted to finish it before the Chalamet film was released yesterday, partly because I didn't want anyone to think the story had been influenced by the film, but the part of me that's gone to therapy said, 'Slow down and chill the fuck out.' I haven't seen the Chalamet film, but I'm cautiously optimistic. I might go catch it on Monday or Tuesday. I don't find Chalamet much of a heartthrob. It's the elder millennial in me I think. Also the me that just detests pop culture. I saw him in Little Women and completely forgot he'd been in it. The more checked out I am from pop culture the better. Anyway, enjoy this photo of Bob by the pool ca. 1965 that I stole off the Internet. You can find The Patient here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55283422?view_full_work=true

*Make no mistake, Joyce and Bob are characters. I have no pretense that I know Bob Dylan. I can make educated guesses about Bob Dylan. Plus writing is just fun, doubly so with real musical artists and writers because they're so multilayered. There's a lot of material to work with, but you get to fill in the interstitials too.

[lewkwoodnco]

june gloom - anthony lockwood x reader

“Look,” he bites out, “if you don’t want me here, say the word and I’ll leave.”

“No.” She looks positively alarmed and places a hand on his elbow. “Please. Don’t go. I like having you here.” Her lips twitch like she’s holding back a smile, but the dead look in her eyes only makes Lockwood even more uneasy. “I like seeing you like this. Thinner. Paler. I like watching you watch me.” She tips her head, considering him. “I like watching you look at me like you can never get your fill of me.”

june gloom, tule fog, I might as well say meet me in Montauk

a/n - help I can’t rmb how I used to format these I hope this is (mostly) correct 😭😭 uni is rlly steamrolling me frfr like I have so many WIPs which I planned to finish up first but inspiration struck for this one instead, for some reason?? And I imagine this to pick up where we left off from chapter 3 (the ntwdt fic) so this would be Ch 3.5 but could also be read as a stand alone I think? anyways enjoy a very autumn coded gloomy kind of angsty fic hehe (also do NOT smoke i am not promoting smoking ❌❌)

tropes/warnings - angst, estranged friends, veryyy very mild allusions to cheating (arguably. personally i didn’t write it that way but i guess I could see some ppl interpreting it that way)

word count - 1.6k!

MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 3.5 | Ch 3.75 | Ch 4 | Ch 5

Finding an apartment to rent in central London was a bleak affair any time of the year, but something about late October seemed to make it even worse. While she looked for a place of her own, her parents had very kindly agreed to put her up for a couple of days. It was at their kitchen table that she had been pouring over apartment listings one barren, gloomy morning, when she peered out to see a familiar car pulled up outside.

Lockwood didn’t know what he was doing. He had just pulled up to her house five minutes ago, of which he spent four of them sitting in silence with the engine turned off. He dragged his palms across his jeans. He isn’t sure how he ended up here, or why. Lockwood & Co. had been handed the privilege of one miraculously empty weekend without any cases. Its employees had decided to indulge themselves, be it through a long bubble bath or a little tinkering on some model train set. A certain special someone’s birthday was coming up. If Lockwood had half the sense he ought to, he’d be spending the weekend with her. Instead, he got in his car and started driving aimlessly, meandering through slick roads that took him to the outskirts of the city.

Maybe it had been some subconscious desire to see her again that led him here. He hadn’t stopped thinking about their brief crossing of paths from a week ago. He had spent months convincing himself that he thought of her less and less as the days went by, enough to delude himself into thinking there was nothing to regret. After all, how could a guy hung up on an old friend find love like he did? But all it took was one glimpse of her again, and it was like they had spent no time apart at all. It was like he was still the sulky, stubborn boy from that last night months ago, smarting from the words unsaid and the pain in his shin. Sleepless and sick with the want to hear her slip back in, for them to make up by the morning, for them to act like it never happened.

He could pretend to have moved on all he wanted, but the sorrow buried deep into his chest and never quite left. He could feel it now, sitting motionless in his car under a dull, overcast sky.

He should’ve asked her to stay.

He jumps when he hears a tapping on the passenger window. The kind, weathered face of Mrs. L/N peers through, clad in gardening gloves and a wide-brim hat. Lockwood instantly becomes aware of how intrusive his visit must be. He hurriedly unbuckles his seat belt and steps out.

“I’m really sorry Mrs. L/N, I meant to call ahead -“

But she was already waving away his effusively apologetic words. She turns towards the house. “Oh, Y/N, it’s been ages since you’ve seen each other. Wouldn’t it be nice for you to catch up?”

He looks over her shoulder and follows her gaze to the house. There, he sees the hazy image of Y/N standing a few steps down from the front door. The slight fog obscures her expression, but there’s something rigid in the way she has her arms wrapped around herself.

“What Mum said. We’d lo-ove to have you.”

She stretches the word out in an exaggerated London drawl. It almost feels like she’s mocking him. But she’s too far for him to get a close enough look at her face, and by the time he makes his way up the winding driveway, she’s disappeared inside.

It helps that Mrs. L/N joins them. Once she’s set out some tea and scones, she prattles on comfortingly like she doesn’t notice the tension weighing in the air. Save for the occasional nod or one-word answer, they stay mostly silent, occasionally sneaking glances at each other. A part of him likes that they’re in the same house again, with her sitting across from him, fiddling with her mug, laughing a little too loud in a not entirely unpleasant way. But he doesn’t recognise her sweater, and her hair’s different, and her pinched face matches her raw, bitten nails.

Occasionally, she makes some seemingly innocuous remark which sounds a little too much like a jab at Lockwood. He hesitates, like he isn’t sure what to say, but then her lips painfully stretch into what is a sardonic smile at best, and the conversation changes. Still, every few seconds his eyes flick back to her face, of which she takes no notice.

But there’s still only so much Mrs. L/N can fill the silence with, and she eventually excuses herself to return to her gardening. The two of them make it for a grand total of 30 seconds of painful silence before she stands up and murmurs something about stepping out for fresh air.

After a minute, Lockwood leaves the kitchen table himself and goes looking for her. He finds her smoking in the backyard, standing at the fence, staring blankly at the treeline a short distance away.

“It’s a filthy habit.” She pauses, dropping the cigarette from her lips, but refuses to turn around. He walks down to the fence. “I thought you got rid of it.”

“How’d you find me?” How’d you know where I’d be?

Lockwood shook his head slowly, eyes unfocused, staring vacantly at the sparse trees reaching for the blank sky. “I didn’t…I wasn’t looking for you.”

She gives him a curious look. If she finds him unconvincing, she doesn’t comment on it. She takes a long drag from her cigarette. The silence starts to become a little more bearable.

“How’s Luce?”

He gives a stiff sort of half-nod. “Alright. Still more violent than she ought to be.”

“George?”

“He’s good.”

“Head still in the books?”

He frowns. “It’s only been three months. He’s not a different person.”

She shrugs. He can’t stop staring at the grimy cigarette in her hand. Her fingers tremble ever so slightly, finally giving the impression that she wasn’t nearly half as calm as she was trying to seem. “He could’ve…taken up water polo, or something. I wouldn’t know.”

The resentment in her voice was apparent - this was definitely a dig at him. For the first time since she’s left, it crosses his mind that she’s left behind a family. Still, it wasn’t like he had kicked her out.

“You chose to leave.”

“You didn’t give me much reason to stay, either.”

“Because - “

“No.” Her subdued, nonchalant attitude dissolved now that he had gotten a rise out of her. “You don’t get to stand there and judge me for leaving when I was miserable and you did fuck all about it. You’ve been this…this fog in my head since June.“ Her clipped voice burns through the cool air harshly. “You have no right to come running back now that it’s finally starting to clear up.”

Lockwood wonders whether the cigarette might be easier to reason with. His gaze wanders over to his car rusting in their driveway. Coming here was a mistake.

“Look,” he bites out, “if you don’t want me here, say the word and I’ll leave.”

“No.” She looks positively alarmed and places a hand on his elbow. “Please. Don’t go. I like having you here.” Her lips twitch like she’s holding back a smile, but the dead look in her eyes only makes Lockwood even more uneasy. “I like seeing you like this. Thinner. Paler. I like watching you watch me.” She tips her head, considering him. “I like watching you look at me like you can never get your fill of me.”

Lockwood flinches, pulling himself out of her grasp as he reels back, suddenly overcome with a surge of revulsion. There’s something malicious, corrupted, unrecognisable about her. He scoffs as he turns back to the house.

“If she’s so amazing, why are you on this side of town?”

He pauses with his hand on the doorknob. Her voice cuts through the air, jagged and bitter. He turns and sees her grinding the cigarette with the heel of her shoe. She straightens and pushes her hair back with a steady, measured hand, a far cry from the klutz whose stumbling around and whispered shrieks guaranteed to drag a smile on Lockwood’s face. Even now, she doesn’t acknowledge how he hasn’t taken his eyes off of her for more than half a minute all day.

“Happy couples,” he starts, a little half-heartedly, “don’t need to be joined at the hip.”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t give me that.” She walks up to the house too, and when she pauses by him, he punches down the urge to step back.  

“What are you trying to find out?”

She looks at him dismissively, like she already knows the answer and finds it unimpressive. Then she’s disappeared back into the house, the cold is stinging his face, and his heart’s thumping hard enough to break free of his chest.

He exhales shakily and feels his heart shutter itself away from the rest of the world. He still doesn’t know what he came looking for, but maybe it was to remember what he has clearly forgotten.

Always a problem. They’d always be a problem.

TAGLIST: @neewtmas @midnight--raine @ahead-fullofdreams @how-to-stuff-and-things @cielooci @mohinithoughts @snoopyluver20 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @elenianag080 @avdiobliss @houseoftwistedspirits @mischivana @dangelnleif @mitskiswift99

[midnight-mourning]

DCA Promptober Day 26: Scorch

Ignore that it's no longer October, I got busy. As a treat, have some ANGST for my being late

Word count: 880

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

You can hardly see in front of you, you can hardly breathe. Every gasping inhale merely sends you into a coughing fit. 

Your hands search blindly to guide you, give you any indication of where you are and what's going on. You're scared, terrified even.

You don't like fire, you don't like fire, you don't like fire-

You sit up in bed, breathing heavy. 

You touch a hand to your chest, patting once to ensure that yes, you're alive and whole. No broken parts or-

You pause, then shake your head, a weird though that you elect to ignore as your heartrate slows down again. 

Your hand fumbles on the nightstand for the glass of water you'd left there, you don't dare to allow yourself the opportunity to look at the time. 

You gulp down the drink as you contemplate how many times now you've woken up like this, from that same dream. 

It's been, months. You can't even recall when it started. You know it wasn't immediately after the fire that burned down the Plex. No, sometime after that. 

You still can't wrap your head around why you're having these dreams though. You weren't at work that night, nor have you ever been in a fire yourself in any shape or form. 

And yet, these dreams, they're so, vivid. You can feel the heat of the flames, you can taste the ash on your tongue. The crackling of the fire as it licks at your feet. How it burns. 

Scorches.

There's never an escape, you've tried. You always start in the same location, the middle of the Daycare. And no matter what direction you run, no matter what falling debris you dodge, it's always the same. You wake up before you can make it out, before you can break free. 

If you could talk to someone about all this, you would. But you don't even know how to go about trying to explain this to a therapist. It was, in the grand scheme of things, beyond confusing. 

Part of you wonders if it isn't guilt. Guilt for not being there, for not saving them. 

You should have been there. You would have been there, if not for, that. 

"Sunshine~ You have to hold still!"

You giggle, "I'm trying it's just that, the string tickles!"

"Well, you're simply going to have to get used to it because you're never ever taking this off," Sun huffs.

"Okay, okay."

After a few more adjustments, he ties the end of the bracelet off, snipping off the extra string.

"There! All done! What do you think?" He leans in closer, "You like it right? Right?"

You shoo him away, laughing, "You know I do! I like anything you make for me, silly."

He holds his head up with pride, hands on hips.

You take the moment to actually look at the friendship bracelet, he'd been insistent that you couldn't take any sneak peaks or the likes until after he was finished. 

The beads are on a red string, with various little celestial-themed charms. There's something spelled out in the middle of it all, and you read it closely, heart falling as you do.

'Love Always' With a heart on either side of the words.

The Attendant picks up on your silence, "Is everything alright, Starshine?"

"I, you don't," You start to slowly shake your head, eyes glued to the bracelet and yet desperate to look anywhere else, "You don't mean that."

Sun laughs, but there's a nervous edge to it, "Of course I do! Why, why wouldn't I?"

"No, no you don't," You get up suddenly, panicked and frantic.

You need to get out of here. You need to leave. This is too much. There's no way that he could possibly, that either of them would even consider you-

You jump when Sun's hand touches your shoulder, now standing as well.

He tilts his head slightly, "Do you think that we," His tone grows weaker, just a smidge, "Don't care?"

You stare up at him for a moment, heart pounding in your chest. But, you're a coward, and you can't face this. Can't face the idea that they don't love you the way you love them. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

"I have to go," You turn away, starting to move to the doors. 

A hand on your wrist, "Wait!"

You pause, but you can't make yourself look back to him. 

"Please. Don't go."

You bite your cheek, pulling away, voice a mere whisper, "I'm sorry."

You're out of water, but you're not anymore tired than you were when you first woke up. 

You are, however, filled with more regret. Regret for what could have been, regret for what was. 

Maybe it is guilt that's the cause for all this. The scorch the fire left on you as punishment for your inaction, for your fear. 

You set the glass back on the bedside table, laying back down again and cuddling a spare pillow. 

As you bring the bedding closer to you, your eyes catch sight of the bracelet, a haunting reminder that will probably stay with you until the end of your days. 

You close your eyes as the tears break loose, choking back a sob.

You owed them this much, at least.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Yikesss, that's tough, ain't it? Well, bummer for you i guess! Anywho, other promptobers are here, thanks for reading!

[modevernon]

rainy days # chwe vernon

pairing: vernon x gn!reader genre: f2l, comfort warnings: cursing, mentions of food word count: 1.25k

ever since autumn fell into your hands like a stale, unwanted gift, vernon had been acting strange. well. ‘strange’ was difficult to define. vernon was, by nature, pretty strange.

rather, he ceased to act in his normal, strange way, and that was what bothered you — where were the out-of-the-blue “fried chicken, my place, shrek” text invites? where had those gone? where were the absurd, vine-reminiscent tiktoks and goofy screenshots of infinite challenge? where were the multitude of beanies strewn across your house? where, and when had he taken them back? where was he?

yes, seasonal depression existed. but he had explicitly told you, as you were munching on a cinnamon roll for breakfast three months ago, that fall was his favorite season. and yes, you two had only started hanging out this year, so it wasn’t as if your friendship had ever been set in stone. but even so, you didn’t deserve to be ghosted, or slowly distanced from until he had erased you from his life.

and yet, you could pinpoint the day, the moment, the very conversation during which his demeanor shifted so precisely that you figured something must have gone wrong then, and maybe it was your fault.

so you ran back the dialogue to the best of your recollection: it had been a rainy saturday, the kind of humidity that simply begged you to stay inside, and vernon had been making cold hot chocolate (“so… chocolate milk?” “no, you don’t see the vision!”) as you drafted emails at your desk.

when he completed his little concoction and entered your room with a mug of it, you were enjoying a self-proclaimed break, perched on the edge of the table, scrolling through instagram.

“bro, you have to see this,” you called to him casually, hearing his footsteps approach.

he did approach — slowly. stopping before you, he placed the mug on the table. “am i your bro now?”

eyes still glued to your phone, you knocked jokingly at his arm. “sorry.”

after a beat, you looked up, as if finally absorbing all of what had been said so far. “wait.” vernon gazed back at you patiently. “you’ve never complained about that.”

he opened his mouth slightly, some unforeseeable sentence at the tip of his tongue, then closed it and glanced away. “yeah, well,” and he took a step back, “never said i was complaining.”

then you had taken a sip from the mug, and said to him that it tasted just like chocolate milk, but lukewarm, and he had laughed softly without a rebuttal, and you had showed him the instagram story you had found funny, and he had laughed again without comment, and half an hour later he had left from your apartment and the rain had kept falling and everything had seemed eerily quiet. the end.

except it wasn’t the end — it couldn’t be the end, when vernon’s pretty little face was all you could think about even as weeks, months passed without his presence.

today, you were feeling especially fed up, inhaling a cinnamon roll from the same café you’d visited with vernon in the heat of summer. it was suspiciously warm for late october, as if the weather was actively forcing you to reminisce, and it stayed warm until the sun slipped down and suddenly it was cruelly, unbearably cold — and rainy. wrapped up in blankets, you stirred your (real) hot chocolate, watched the downpour vandalize your windows, and wondered what to do with your fraught, ambivalent heart.

vernon was surprised to get a call past midnight, and more surprised that he was on his phone at the exact minute to pick up. he swiped right, forgetting to read the contact.

“hello?” he spoke first.

“hey.” vernon could tell by one syllable that it was you. he checked the screen to confirm anyway. you continued, voice inexplicable: “what’ve you been up to?”

first question, and he was already feeling guilty. “work,” he replied, with faux detachment, “kinda tiring.”

“tiring?”

“mm-hmm.”

“busier than usual?” your tone was veering from innocent to interrogative.

“yeah, you could say that.” what excuse could he give that wasn’t the reason?

“you still could’ve kept in touch, you know,” you hit back. quiet on the other end of the line. “i had to watch bottoms without you.”

“oh, that’s a great movie,” vernon blurted, then immediately regretted.

he could almost see your eyes narrow. “so you watched it on your own?”

“… yeah. on my own.”

you let his response hang embarrassingly in silence. after a beat — “do you have anything to tell me, hansol?”

oh. hansol. shit was getting real; but vernon tried to dodge the fact. “do you have anything to tell me?”

“stop acting cheeky. it’s not cute.”

“no, i’m serious. you must’ve called to say something.”

“i can’t just call to say hi?”

“that’s what you wanted to say? hi?” the words came out far more acerbic than he had intended.

and for the first time, your voice faltered. “didn’t… didn’t you miss me?”

to answer that would be to burst a dam. he felt no choice but to fall back on old tricks. “did you miss me?”

you huffed. vernon knew he was pushing your limit, but it was all he could do. now it was quiet on your end, and he was contemplating a better way to weasel out of this when the bell of his apartment abruptly rang.

perfect. “um— hey, so sorry to cut this short, but i just— there’s a friend coming over, they’re at the door—” and he walked hastily toward it. “we can talk later.” and he hung up before you had the time to reply, simultaneously opening the door to find you, drenched, no umbrella in sight, staring daggers into him.

he was so stunned that he couldn’t exclaim. you kept staring until you grew tired of it, and blinked away. with your hair dripping so much, it was impossible to tell whether your face was wet with tears or rain.

just as vernon began to take up his hand to wipe your cheek, you spoke again. “really hard fucking way to get me to ask you out.”

his hand froze. to what? “of course i missed you, hansol. i missed you so much, i couldn't do anything else. i missed you so much, i ran here while it was pouring, and you know i hate going outside when it's like this. i missed you so much, it’s been driving me insane! what the hell did i do that was so wrong?” your voice was breaking, fracturing. “can’t you tell me?”

the way vernon stood made him look like a film on pause. only his eyes trembled, ever so slightly, drinking you in with excruciating care because heaven knows how much he missed you too.

before he could think of what to say back, his body moved reflexively into yours, arms wrapped around you, head buried in your neck. you were so cold against him, so tense with emotion that his embrace left you melting.

“i thought you didn’t want me,” he breathed, still enveloped in you, “the way i wanted you.”

you sighed, somewhere between relief and exasperation. “why would you assume that, idiot?” it wasn’t really a question. “someone who’s usually so slow to act.”

at that comment, vernon peeled — slowly — away from you to face you again. “i’ll be fast this time,” he vowed, and you tilted your head in puzzlement. “you’re asking me out? my answer is yes.”

a/n: excuse my like two month hiatus. kung chi pak chi summoned me back.

[novelsbynia]

GEMINI:

———————————————————

Chapter Three: Stress Reliever

Warnings: language, smut

Song for chapter: Meddle About by Chase Atlantic

______________________________________________

October 27th

Scarlett got up from her comfy bed. As her socks hit the hard wood, she walked around her bed to her bedroom door. Opening it slowly she was met with the boy with the soft curls she was thinking about earlier. "I'm sorry it took almost forever for them all to fall asleep." Ethan whispered as she closed the door behind him."It's okay. You're here now."

"Yeah, I am." Ethan's hands traveled to Scarletts waist as his lips traveled to hers as well. "Jump." He demanded. Scarlett did as told as Ethan's hands travel to her bottom holding her against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as her lips found his again. The kiss was anything but neat and nice. It was messy and needy. They needed each other after this shitty day, Scarlett specifically. He slowly laid her down on the bed behind her trying to not make any noise too loud to wake the others. "I'm taking these." Ethan's fingers gripped the waistband of Scarlett's sweats pulling them down gently.

"Were you expecting me to come in here tonight?" Ethan looked at her naked center than up at her. "Maybe." Scarlett wasn't ashamed to admit that she may of purposefully forgot to put on underwear tonight. Especially with Ethan sleeping in the next room. Ethan wasted no time as her inserted his ring and middle into her. With a simple come here motion a small moan escaped Scarlett's lips. "You need to relax but you have be quiet baby." Ethan instructed as his fingers purposefully went faster. "Trying." Scarlett muttered. Her breathing quickly picked up when Ethan connected his mouth to her neck once more.

He then removed his fingers placing the two in his mouth. He sucked the remnants off his fingers before going for her sweatshirt. He threw Scarlett's sweatshirt somewhere in her room. Ethan lean in and gave her another needy hot kiss. Without any warning he slammed his fingers back in her. "Fuck!" Scarlett breathed. His lips found her neck than her collar bone than her breast. Leaving sloppy kisses and little nibbles on the way down till he finally reached his destination.

"Oh God." Scar moans as Ethan's tongue worked its way up and down and sucked where she needed him most. Ethan looked up at the girl unfolding before him and smirked as he added "Ethan I-" Scarlett stuttered. "Mhm." Ethan hummed into her. The vibrations was the push she needed to come undone under him. Ethan smiled at the vision in front of him. He works his way back up leaving little kisses along the way.

Ethan planted a small peck on her Scarletts lips. "I need these off." Scarletts hands went straight to the buttons on Ethans jeans. Once she got the button undone and the zipper down Ethan wrapped his fingers around the waistband of his jeans and briefs and pulled them down. Discarding them on the floor next to the bed Scarlett wrapped her hands around him. "Lay down." Ethan instructed. "But I wanted to-" Scarlett looked up at the man on his knees above her. "It's okay princess. I'm okay I promise, just lay down."

Scarlett laid herself backdown on her pillow, Ethan slowly making his way between her legs. "Fuck." escaped his lips as he slowly thrusted in. A gasp left Scarlett as he slowly went in again. "God." Scar breathes out as Ethan slowly started to pick up the pace. Scarletts nails stared to dig into the flesh of Ethan's toned back and he sped up. Her fingers now painting a picture on his back.

It's been three months since they started hooking up and each time they do it never feels old. Every time feels as new and exhilarating as the first time. They now knew each others body like the back of their hands. Where to touch, where to kiss. Where to apply pressure, and how much.

Scarlett let out a moan she was trying to suppress. "Baby-" Scarlett hears Ethan warn her but her body is betraying her. "Can- can't he- help- it." Scarlett stuttered out. She felt a hand cover her mouth causing her noises to muffle while Ethan's lips attached to her neck. Oh God I don't know how much longer I can't take Scarlett thought to herself. "God I-ugh-fuck baby." Ethan's words were just what she needed to push her over the edge again.

"I'm gonna-" She couldn't even get the rest of the muffled sentence out as she look into his concentrating brown eyes. "Cum baby. Cum for me." That all she needed to feel her release course through her. Ethan followed shortly after. He removed his hand from her lips and leans down to give her a kiss. It was tender and sweet unlike the ones before. "Don't forget to use the bathroom." Ethan kissed her shoulder as he went to lay on the pillow next to her. "You're right. Where is my- there it is." Scar grabbed her sweatshirt and sweatpants and quickly threw the comfy clothes back on.

Scarlett made her way to the bathroom trying to not wake her friends in the process. After her successful mission she emptied her liquids and washed her hands. The connecting door to the bathroom from Quinn's room opened suddenly. "Oh I'm sorry." Quinn took out her earphones. "You're okay I was just about done." Scar dried her hands on the hand towel hanging on the wall next to the sink. "What are you still doing up? Are you okay?" Quinn asked. "Yeah, just can't sleep." She wasn't completely lying. She really couldn't sleep but now she had a better chance.

"Same. I have some NightQuill if you need some." Quinn offered. "No I'm okay, but thank you. Goodnight Quinn." Scarlett wished Quinn a good night. "Night Scar, try to get some sleep." Scarlett slowly walked back out in the family room trying to be as quiet as possible again till she reached her room. When she opened her door she saw Ethan in his briefs putting on his jeans. "Hey I have a pair of Chads sweatpants if you didn't want to be in jeans all night."

"You have a pair of Chads sweatpants?" Ethan questioned confused. "Yeah I mean this is his sweatshirt too that you can wear if you want." Scarlett gestured towards the sweatshirt she was currently wearing. Ethan furrowed his eyebrows together.

"When we first moved in before he roomed with you, him and Mindy stayed here. He left some clothes behind so my sisters and I just kind of use them from time to time. They're comfortable, here." Scar explained. "And no we never were together." she added. "I wasn't going to ask." Ethan tried his best to come off as convincing as he could. "Really? You weren't going to ask?"

"Well not anymore." Ethan whispered. Scarlett chuckled holding out the sweatpants for Ethan. He looked at them for a second before he finally gave in. He slid on the black sweatpants and grabbed his blue long sleeve from the floor. After throwing his shirt back on he laid back on his side of the bed.

Scarlett turned off her fairy lights hanging above her bed leaving just the light illuminating off her tv. She crawled into bed as Ethan opened his arms. She laid her head on his bicep as he wrapped his arms around her. "Are you okay? With everything that's happened tonight. Are you doing okay?"

"I'm okay." Scar whispered in his chest. "Scarlett you should know better. You can't lie to me." Ethan matched her tone. "Hmm?" Scar hummed. "With all the time we've spent together I'm able to tell when you lie. Or when you're upset, or angry or when you need to eat." Ethan joked getting a slap on the arm from Scarlett. "What you get angry when you don't eat."

"You're an idiot." Scarlett chuckled. "Maybe." Ethan looked down at her green eyes. Scarlett brought her right hand up to his chin as she leaned up and started giving him small pecks. The kiss deepened with small amounts of passion getting more and more aggressive but slow. "You need to get some sleep." Ethan pulled away.

"I know. You do too. You can't have anyone catch you in here." Scarlett explained. "Don't worry about me Scar, just get some sleep. I'll be okay. Come on." Ethen pulled her closer to him. She finally felt like she could relax as she was able to fall asleep listening to the sound of Ethans heartbeat. She felt safe.

XXXX

"Scar!" Chad's voice rang through the apartment. His voice getting closer and closer to Scarlett's door. Her eyes quickly shot open. Were they okay? Scarlett thought to herself. "Scar." Chad knocked on Scarlett's door before the door opened not so shortly after. That's when it suddenly hit her. Ethan. She glanced over to the left side of the bed. However it was empty. "Hey Scar, time to get up."

"What time is it?" Scar asked reaching over for her phone on the night stand. "Eleven thirty." Chad told her as her eyes read eleven twenty eight. They also saw her phone didn't charge last night. She glanced behind her nightstand to see the plug out of the outlet.

"Is she up?" Mindy asked as she walked in the room. "Does anyone else want to come in my room?" Scar groaned. "So funny. Anyways, that brings me to my next thing. Meet us at one thirty at the park on campus. We need to go over a few things and I have to get to class." Mindy explained.

"Okay can you close my door now?" Scarlett asked as she collapsed back down on her pillow. "Sure, Ethan and I are heading out in a second too." Chad told her before closing the door behind him. Scarlett took a deep breath and propped herself out of bed. Her socks hit the floor and made their way over towards the living room.

"Nice pj's." Chad joked looking at her sweatshirt. "Ha ha thanks." quipped Scar. She looked over to Ethan on the couch with a coffee in his hand from their go to coffee place across the street. He raised his eyebrows and shot her a smirk that was quickly covered by his cup as he brought it up to his lips.

"Well we are heading out. We'll see you guys at the park. Ready roomie?" Chad looked over at Ethan. "Yeah." Ethan hopped up from the couch. He started walking over to the hallway when he stopped. "By the way Scar, your coffee is on the counter in the kitchen." Ethan shot her a quick wink before continuing on. "Oh thank you."

"We should head out soon. We gotta get to class." Anika grabbed her bag from the coffee table in front of them. "Okay. Imma take a shower I'll see you all later." Scar told her friends before heading toward the bathroom. The second Scarlett closed the door behind her she felt it. A wave of nausea and dizziness hit her. Her hand reached for the cold white marble of the bathroom sink for stability.

When was the last time she ate? She really couldn't remember after the events of last night. She knew that was probably the first thing she needed to do after her shower. After a minute the dizziness went away. However the nausea stayed. She grabbed the ends of her sweatshirt when her phone went off. She saw the name that popped up in front of her screen saver of her friends and sister.

Ethan:

Enjoy your coffee :)

Thank you I was wondering were you went this morning

I just wanted to be up before anyone woke up told you I would take care of it. I'll see you later