#i still have so many words to find. i will spam everyone with a few this weekend <3

[sukunasweetheart]

👀👉🏾👈🏾 Sukuna x Reader ex's to lovers?

wowowow i cant believe im doing like another celebrity au again but here goes nothing ahaha...

i love this trope, i ended up writing a WHOLE, lengthy ass, detailed plotline on it i hope u dont mind <3 (A WHOLE WHOPPING 6K WORDS YALL)

prepare for hella angst, OOC sukuna, insecure fem!reader, ghosting, messy break up, conflicting and complicated feelings + sexual tension and then intense smut @ the end (make up sex)

imagine sukuna being like, an amateur model-turned-actor, with you being his highschool sweetheart, who was there to support him since day one

a very happy, fulfilling relationship for the most part-- until he starts gaining huge amounts of popularity.

youve always known that he was meant and born to reach sky-high levels of success, and you were certain he was going to make it one day

but things get rockier by the second, and insecurity is such an ugly, ugly thing

seeing him model with other beautiful celebrities, acting in roles where he had a love interest to kiss and fondle, reading those gossip scandal articles involving him and another party every few months or so-

it all got too much for you.

all you needed was some reassurance... but young and vivacious sukuna, drunk on this fame and attention, failed to recognise that and left you feeling neglected.

not on purpose tho, he's never engaged in infidelity, he's never gazed upon someone else with lust or love on his mind - he was using everyone around him as a stepping stone towards his own career

sukuna's known you since forever, and he was confident that you knew his affection for you was unwavering... so he failed to understand where you were coming from whenever you brought these things up

arguments after arguments after arguments

the worst part of it was that he wanted to keep his relationship with you a secret. saying something about how having a significant other would slow his progress in his career down... the decision was urged on by the entertainment company that he was in a contract with

it hurt so damn much when he was being interviewed on tv about his romantic life, only for him to tell the world he was single.

it leads to more arguing.

of course, as a rising celebrity, he was quite awfully busy with many business trips and attending a lot of parties and galas

another terrible fight occurred right before he had to leave for a flight overseas but by then, youd pretty much already decided that you were going to leave him

you basically ghosted him, packing all your belongings overnight, blocking his number and all his social media accounts, making sure even all yours and his mutual friends didn't know of your whereabouts. you're going to start fresh. and give him no closure.

it was petty revenge, and maybe immature of you, but you were just as young as he was, and you wanted him to hurt as badly as you were hurting back then.

sukuna's still overseas, having just come back from another fancy gathering and is fresh out of the shower, in his hotel room... he decides he's gonna try and give you a call, but ofc you don't pick up

he sighs and convinces himself that he'll sort things out with you later when he gets back, not knowing that there won't be a 'later'.

meanwhile you're dragging a suitcase out of the apartment, taking a taxi somewhere else far away, crying as you pass by giant billboards that have pictures of sukuna plastered all over

he feels like such a faraway person now. no longer someone who you used to cuddle closely in bed, or hold hands with. you're not even sure of who you are without him anymore.

you could imagine his reaction when he came home, only to find your entire existence missing. seriously, it was like you were never there. you left nothing of yours behind, and the place was cleaned spick and span, not a hair of yours to be found.

when was the last time sukuna felt so panicked?? this dull ache in his chest, as he spams you calls and texts that never reach you

he contacts mutual friends in rotation but everyone is absolutely clueless... he considers filing a missing persons case but then a trusted friend of yours tells him to not look for you... and that you wanted them to relay a message to him, just a simple goodbye.

what the fuck are you talking about?

oh, here comes a severe headache.

his mind is whirring with overlapping memories, thoughts, regrets, thinking about any clues that might give away where you couldve gone, but theres simply nothing

the shock moves into sorrow, then denial, and then it turns to anger. does he mean nothing to you? so much so that youd abandon him without saying a word?

its like he was going through the five stages of grief, but for someone who he knew was still alive..

eventually, he finds a rebound out of spite. if youve left him, then it's means he's free and single, right? he gets himself piss-drunk, and beds another, only to wake up feeling absolutely disgusted. it feels like... it feels like he's cheated on you. even though you're already gone. he's just a mess of conflicting emotions, and it lasts for so long.

the reason why he doesnt hire someone or use some other underhanded method to actually look for you is because of a weird mixture of both his pride and feelings of insecurity, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you do deserve someone better, someone who understands you more... (and he's also fearful that someone like you, might've already found love somewhere else, and he's definitely not confident that he'll be able to act maturely if he sees its true)

eventually, acceptance does come... but does it really?

i like to think he went through many failed relationships, his partners always leaving him upon witnessing him getting intoxicated and calling for none other than your name in his state. someone who no one around him knows anymore.

years pass, and time really does allow you to forget. for both you and sukuna alike. in your mid thirties, both of you are single at this time.

you've been busy with your new job at some company (dont ask me, i was too lazy to decide what kind, so u guys can make this one up bye), and he made sure to keep himself busy as well. no time for fleeting romance.

of course, until fate does that weird thing where it pushes people together again... a new project lands in your lap, where it involves some kind of collaboration with THE celebrity, ryomen sukuna. of fucking course.

you really did desperately try to get it off and pass this off to some other colleague but they insisted your involvement was necessary. what are you supposed to do? you almost decide to quit... but this job means a lot to you... you can't just throw everything away because of an ex... right?

and, oh my god, when the first meeting does happen, involving the celebrity himself, you and a couple other coworkers to discuss the project, sukuna sees you and his brain short circuits for a moment.

he starts doubting his own vision, and then he reminisces, in the middle of whatever the fuck everyone else was talking about during the meeting.

"... Mr. Ryomen?" one of the other participants ask.

he clears his throat, regains his composure and regathers his focus. he's an actor for god's sake. and he starts speaking, with thoughts of you in the back of his mind. about how much youve changed, but also remained exactly the same...

during introductions, you shake his hand and act professionally. his eye twitches. will you continue to pretend not to know him even afterwards? should he talk to you separately after this? no... doing that would mean he's the desperate one...

when you saw sukuna hesitating, part of you felt relieved. so you're not the only one getting freaked out. you don't expect him to acknowledge you anymore, though.

after the meeting, he walks out feeling confident that he's going to ignore you back, if this was the kind of game you're going to play with him. you mean nothing to him, just as he means nothing to you.

but he remembers the shock that went down his spine at the feeling of the warmth in your hand. he watches you take an elevator by yourself, and tries to make a split second decision on whether he wants to let you go, or if he wants to chase you down.

he probably shouldn't bother.

but he impulsively speed walks down towards you, anyway.

youre startled when the elevator doors are blocked from closing just at the last second, with someone's arm coming through between. your heart skips a beat seeing that it's none other than sukuna.

what is this sensation? this mix of fear and... excitement. you should be unperturbed. you're over him. he's someone from the past. you're buzzing with these feelings, but there also comes a creeping resentment that finds its way to you again, as you try to remember why you left him in the first place.

he unclicks whatever level you were heading to, and clicks on the highest level instead. he's gonna take you to the rooftop of the building, where he can confront you peacefully.

"Mr. Ryomen? Is there something wrong?" you ask him. still feigning ignorance. like salt to a wound. you know its another petty move from your part, but you can't help yourself.

"Don't call me that. You know damn well why I'm here," Sukuna drawls, sounding more sad than angry. they've really become strangers.

you grow silent, being hit with a pang of guilt. deep down, you knew you shouldve handled it more maturely than that. he deserved closure, and you needed it too. but isn't it too late for all that now?

the conversation flows tense, but unravels slowly. there's still a lot of questions being withheld though. he wants to ask you how youve been. were you able to sleep peacefully after you left him? why did you have to leave in the worst way possible?

a familiar headache creeps up.

simultaneously, the anger finds its way in his heart all over again. he knows he didn't do much good towards the end of their relationship either but ghosting him was plain disrespectful and childish.

you surprise him when you give a sudden heartfelt apology.

you tell him that you know apologising now after all these years is frankly almost meaningless but still, he didnt deserve to be left behind in that kind of way. you admit that you should've communicated with him properly that you were breaking up with him.

he's left kinda speechless, bc he was so ready to be all snarky to you after everything.. he's still mad, but he can't really say shit anymore without sounding like too much of an asshole.

truth be told, if you did stay around to tell him that you were breaking up with him beforehand, he probably wouldn't have let you go... where would you guys be now, if you never separated?

"i've always wanted to apologise. it's been weighing on me ever since i left."

...and yet, you didn't ever think to call or text him even once afterwards? he never changed his number in hopes for that, and he hates himself for it.

"i understand that you hate me now, but let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. and then we can part ways again."

that one pierces his heart, like a bullet. you haven't said anything technically wrong. he should hate you. or at least, he should feel indifferent by now. and yet... the way that you automatically assume so irks him badly.

"do you really believe that i hate you? aren't you the one that hates me?"

it's a stupid fucking question. what the fuck is he even saying? he wants to kick the elevator door.

"...i left because i thought you hated me, that you didn't need me anymore. and i tried to convince myself that i hated you too. but that couldn't be further from the truth. even now, i don't ha-"

before you can say any more, the elevator doors open, and a small group of employees are standing outside them, looking curiously in at you and sukuna. then, they realise who he is. they come flocking in, asking for autographs and pictures.

you quietly slip out of the crowd, and after giving one quick glance at sukuna, who visibly wants to pursue you again, you walk away to avoid gathering attention on yourself. wait-! dammit- he thinks.

he can't chase after you. he can't call out for you to stop. he can't push all of these people away. if he did, it will cause rumours and unfavourable articles to fly out. let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. his own fame becomes another obstacle between you and him.

back then, you were his whole world, yet somewhere along the path, he started to fail in making you feel like it.

he watches you take the fire exit towards the emergency stairs, while he's surrounded by overbearing fans who beg for his attention. you're going to have to walk down in your heels, all because of him. as he catches the final glimpse of you, as he's reluctantly dealing with his fans, he begins to understand, a little bit. he didn't want to understand why you decided to leave him. but he does now. a little.

a couple of stairwells down, you eventually pause for a moment and sit down on the last step to take a breather. you wipe your sweaty palms against your skirt. the familiar tug at your heart, in which your insecurities come flowing back to you, seeing him surrounded. you need to build higher, stronger walls around you from now.

when sukuna is done on his end, and sends them off down the elevator, he goes off to check down the stairs you went, but you've already booked it. slipped right through his fingers. you were about to say something important. with unresolved feelings, sukuna also takes the stairs down, with a heavy heart. each step down brings him another old, nostalgic memory of you to him.

from then on, the more he interacts with you during work-related matters, the more apparent it becomes that he still harbors feelings for you. he tries to ignore it, push it back down, but it only returns twice as overwhelming.

your voice. the way you smile. the scent of your perfume. exactly the same as back then. yet, he also observes the changes that have occurred in you; how you act, speak and the kinds of words you use, as well as seeing you in such a professional setting rather than personal - everything is coming together to allure him more, and he's in a state where he's unable to resist this attraction, but also unable to act on it, because he's not sure how you'd react to it.

he knows it's not just him getting drunk on nostalgia.

the next time he catches you alone, he makes sure to tell you that he doesn't hate you like you believe he does. you'd never admit it, but that gave you butterflies in your stomach.

in fact, everything sukuna does, even just locking eyes with you for a few seconds, is enough to make your heart rate increase, intensifying when he looks at you almost like... almost like he wants you. you must be imagining things.

he finds himself doing uncharacteristic deeds, like sending coffee for all the staff members. his manager passes them out to everybody, including you. he doesn't know if you still like your coffee the same way as he remembers, but he makes sure that yours is a little different, a little more specific than everyone else's, in hopes that you'll notice these small gestures of his.

over the course of the project, he inches closer to you, ever so slowly. but you don't seem to budge. even worse, you seem to be avoiding him as much as you possibly can. you avert your gaze from his. stagger away when he gets close.

he brings it up on one occasion, when he's able to approach you at the back of the building, where there's no one around, and no watchful eyes of a nosy audience. it's definitely frustrating and unpleasant- when he wants to speak with you, he has to keep distance in case another scandal rises. he doesn't want to drag you into the spotlight, without knowing if you're okay with it first.

sukuna only really talks to you when there's nobody around. maybe he's being considerate of you, but it gives you the impression that he doesn't want to be seen hanging around with you. it makes you remember things you don't want to. it makes you remember that being with him now requires a courage that you're not sure that you have. at the very least, you know you definitely didn't have it back then.

you keep conversations short with him, and try to leave. but he keeps at it persistently. what is he trying to do? is he toying with you?

"you're acting like you want us to get back together. don't do things that'll make me misunderstand," you tell him. you were trying to provoke him. expecting him to deny it harshly and back away, because you knew he was prideful- he'd never be caught being hung up over an ex.

"...and? what if i told you that i do want that? would you stop avoiding me then?" he takes one step forward, and you take one back, proving his point.

why is he pushing aside his ego for you? where did all his arrogance go off to? this isn't how the sukuna in his twenties would've responded. his answer makes you waver, and you don't appreciate that. you try not to show it.

"no. i'd only begin to avoid you even more. so don't start."

"i'm not," you deny, but your voice betrays you. he clings onto that.

"why? ...afraid that you'd cave in to me?"

like the way he's already pretty much caved in for you?

"you don't sound very convincing."

"...would you want someone who'd choose their career over you?"

that stops him in his tracks. he has nothing to say to that. because he did make that mistake. where he prioritised his job over your feelings.

"i don't hate or blame you for that anymore, sukuna. but you have to understand... i don't want to go through that pain ever again. i don't want to hold you back. we both deserve more compatible partners."

your own words sting yourself, and you try to go again right after saying that, because it's getting too much for you. his hand flies out to grab yours out of instinct, to stop you from leaving. leaving him again.

it's really not like him to be the clingy ex, pathetically begging to be taken back, but he's willing to throw such pride away if it means you'll be appeased. if you'll let him back into your life again.

"don't say that. you never held me back-- you were my home and my everything, and i was the one that started to take you for granted," he says gently, his low voice laced with sorrow, so uncharacteristically. you've only ever heard this kind of tone from him once before, and it was when his grandfather, who was like a parent to him, had passed away. his thumb brushes over your hand.

"give me another chance. this time i'll let the whole world know about us. about how much you mean to me."

he gets in close ever so slowly, and you let him, for only a moment, before gently pushing him away, with a hand on his chest.

sukuna hitches in a breath, heart sinking to his stomach. he wants to embrace you so, so, so bad. he needs your warmth. always has been. always will. but he sees that you're unrelenting, which breaks him.

"no, stop... i'm sorry, i can't."

you're still scared. you keep thinking about how lonely you felt when you were with him, at least right before the break up. seeing him laughing through the tv screen. alone in the living room. and all the arguments.

your hand slips out of his, and he lets you go. he feels empty when you walk away. hollow. the similar feeling he felt when you first left him, but less anguish and more despair. when he gets home, he tries to drink those feelings away. something he rarely does. old regrets and heartaches return, and he drinks until he passes out.

while he drinks, you weep. crying into your pillow, wondering if you're doing the right thing. wondering if this is how it's supposed to be. terrified of being with him again, but also terrified of losing him, like a hypocrite.

from then on, sukuna keeps a respectful distance from you... no longer trying to make approaches in secret, no longer pursuing you every chance he gets. but he still sends out coffee. even provides snacks to the crew. little do they know, they're the kinds of snacks that he knows you loved. hopefully, you still do. he'll keep his distance because it's what you want, but he wishes to keep doing these little things for you. subtly.

and you notice it, too. you have vivid memories of telling him about your favourites and preferences back then, and you recognise what he's trying to do. you drink the coffee. and you always grab a handful of the snacks. you do appreciate it. it makes you happy that he remembers. on a few occasions, you turn to look at him, only to witness him looking away at the last second.

it's not too long before the project is successfully finalised, and all their efforts have been rewarded. a celebration is due, and your boss throws a party at a fancy hotel for everyone to enjoy themselves at. sukuna had stopped going to so many gatherings and parties quite a while ago, but he attends knowing that you'll be there as well. he'll see you for the final time before he'll lose any excuses to be around you ever again. it'll be the final night.

you exchange a few words with him at the venue, but the two of you leave each other to mingle with other groups reluctantly, to avoid suspicion. both of you are quite tense all throughout the night, sipping on some wine to ease it, but it still doesn't relax the tension you feel, no matter how far away sukuna stands from you.

a few hours in, and you decide to excuse yourself early to head up into your designated hotel room. your boss covered the expenses for a night, and it would've been a waste to decline it, so you decided to stay. sukuna isn't around anywhere at the venue anymore, so you assume he's already left. you thought about saying farewell, but it didn't seem appropriate after you flat out rejected him. you still have doubts about the decision. because you miss him. but what's done is done, and you can't take back what you've already said.

however, getting to the hotel elevator, you notice he's standing there, with miraculous timing. you awkwardly "hey" him, and he says it back, hands in his pockets.

the two of you step inside when it arrives, and the thick tension remains.

"i'm surprised. i thought you'd be staying around longer for the party," you tell him.

he can't tell you that he found it unbearable, to see you hanging around other people, but being unable to get closer to you himself.

"i just got a bit tired," he lies. "did you have a lot to drink?"

"not at all. i had a few glasses, but i'm still sober."

"same here."

as the lift gets closer to your level, you get antsy, thinking about what to say before you leave, but your thoughts get interrupted when he asks you something abruptly.

"...can i walk you to your room? for the last time."

you swallow thickly on nothing, and feel how your chest aches at the words. last time.

"alright. sure," you say.

he wasn't expecting you to say yes, but he's glad you're letting him stay beside you a little longer. you're staring at the elevator doors, but he's looking at your face from the side. if only the lift would malfunction and stop, right here.

but it doesn't, and soon, he's really walking beside you as you get to your hotel room door, in silence. you unlock it using your key, and then that's it.

"thanks for walking me here," you say rather sheepishly. the thought of him wanting to spend even a few more seconds with you... your hold on the door knob is tight as you stand, face turned around to look at him. it's taking everything in you to stand your ground. last minute guilt and regrets are bombarding your thoughts, and...

"i'll say this now because i probably won't get another chance again," sukuna starts, looking directly into your eyes. his eyes are mellow, and he looks wistful.

"i'm sorry. i realised i never apologised, even though that's the first thing you did for me," he starts. he knows there's a mountain of reasons he is apologising for, but he decides he'll keep this short for your sake.

".. i can't lie to you and say that i wish for your happiness with someone else. 'm not that nice." you know it the best. and you understand, because you don't think you'd be able to withstand seeing him happy with someone else, either.

"find your happiness elsewhere, thanks," he grunts humorously. for god's sake. he's never been good at things like this. being heartfelt. at least it made you chuckle a bit. his expression of indignation melts away into a melancholic one again.

"i still love you." (always have, always will.)

you fight back sudden tears, and your throat begins to ache. sukuna unclenches his fist, and tries to relax himself more.

"and...i'll miss you," he breathes the phrase out. says it so quietly, like it hurts for him to say. (i don't want to let you go.)

something snaps within you and everything starts to scream at you to take everything back, and stop him from going away. don't go- don't go- don't go-

"...goodnight."

he notices your wet eyes, and he has to fight back against the urge to reach out and wipe it away. to rescind his farewell, and pull you into his arms again - forcefully, if he has to. he needs to leave, before he loses control.

you're panicking, and your vision is swimming, and you don't think you'll ever be happy again if you let him go like this-- you're gonna be heartbroken in the worst way imaginable. you want him back, and you know you're being unreasonable after turning him down like that, but you don't care anymore. you want to go against your fears. you want to try being with him again.

before you can stop yourself, your hand catches onto the hem of sukuna's sleeve, seconds before he takes another step away from you.

his eyes widen, and he looks at your grip on his sleeve, like he's checking to see if it's real, and he's not making this shit up in his mind. his heart beats impossibly fast. his hopes skyrocket. the world decided to have mercy on him.

"...you're being unfair, grabbing onto me like this. after i went through hell just now, trying to say goodbye." he's being awfully patient right now.

you don't respond, only silently weeping.

he waits to see if you'll let go, whether this was just an act out of a temporary fickle in your heart, but your grip remains tight, and you're now just looking up at him with tears rolling down, eyes glossy and desperate, pulling at his heart strings. you only let go when he comes back to you, not hesitant to brush his thumbs across your face now, wiping the wetness away.

"what do you want me to do? tell me, and i'll do it. leave? stay?" sukuna coos at you, like he's always done before, waiting patiently until you've calmed down enough to respond properly.

"i shouldn't... i shouldn't let you in. not after how much i'd pushed you away," you whisper. today was supposed to mark the end of it all.

he doesn't even give a fuck about that anymore. what matters is now.

"...but do you want to let me in?"

"...yes," you hic.

he takes a couple of steps forward, making you step back with him, his hand on your waist to make sure you don't trip on the way. he goes past the doorway and into your hotel room slowly. one- two- three- steps. he closes the door behind him quietly.

"and..? what next?" he asks in a low voice, standing close to you, one hand still remaining on your waist, and the other on your upperarm.

"i... i don't know. i just need you," you mumble, looking up at him, eyes red from crying and half-closed. your hands inch up along his back, grabbing handfuls of his suit jacket. sukuna hitches in a breath and something dark flashes across his eyes. they reflect his desire, his almost carnal desperation for you-

"forgive me. i don't think i can hold myself back, anymore."

he captures your lips in his, and groans shamelessly into you. you grip onto him tighter, heart beating so rambunctiously that you fear he can hear it too. it feels too good. the moment he reached you, it felt like the final piece of a puzzle clicking in to complete a full picture.

you part your mouth, and he wastes no time in slipping his tongue inside, kissing you in the way he knows you love, in the way it makes your lips tingle, and, oh god, even after all these years, he still knows how to get you going like no other.

sukuna tastes the traces of wine on your tongue, and even better, he tastes you, the one he'd been missing and craving all this time, the warmth of your skin and touch, your scent, just everything about you, you, you.

he backs you towards the bed, without breaking this breathless, hungry kiss, where he softly lays you down, with him being above you, chest to chest, arms supporting his weight. he momentarily pulls away from you simply just to breathe, and the two of you gaze at each other for a hot second, full of love and lust, breaths overlapping one another. he attempts to ask you "do you still wanna continue?" just in case, but before he gets to say a word, you grab him by his tie and pull his lips to yours again, beginning to loosen it and take it off.

he understands that you want it, now. you successfully manage to untie it, somehow, with just willpower alone, and you start aiming for his buttons next, undoing them one by one. your actions send sparks down to all of his limbs, and he feels so fulfilled by your desire of him, being as intense as how he obsesses over you.

soon after you're done with it, he takes them off and chucks his own clothes away, rendering him half-naked. your hole clenches around nothing at the sight once he pulls away again, his firm muscles and the same old tattoos that you vividly remembered the patterns of. you greedily run your palms across his pecs, eyes turning to hearts. he smirks at you.

it's his turn now, and he doesn't hesitate to start undressing you as well. sukuna gets dizzy at the thought of being able to feast his eyes on your body. he dives in to keep kissing you, and then begins to unbutton you with such speed, it almost startles you.

it's off. your breasts are out in the open now, and sukuna has his fill with massaging them with his large hand, having missed them so much. his palm feels so hot, and your nipples pebble up at his touch, making you gasp into his mouth.

his kiss moves over to the side of your face, it glides down your neck, shoulders, and eventually reaches the swell of your chest. your fingers brush through the pink of his hair as he does so, and you purse your lips together, basking in the feeling of his warm kisses littering your skin. he leaves you hickeys-- the same shape and size and same locations as he used to even during your days in highschool, and you chuckle to yourself at the thought.

it's not long before he's loosening your skirt and slipping your undergarments down, getting rid of your slick-stained panties, much to his satisfaction. sukuna rubs a thumb over your aroused clit, and you whimper, having missed the touch of a man- his touch specifically.

"fuck... you're so wet.... all for me?" he asks, proceeding to slip two fingers into your weeping hole. you arch your back at the feeling, how his thick digits scissor inside of you and press up against a particularly lovely spot. he watches your every response as he does so, watching how you moan because of his touch, and how you're grabbing at his wrist because it's getting too intense. his cock prods uncomfortably against his pants. you're producing so much slick, and his fingers are getting absolutely drenched.

when he takes them out, you whine a little in disappointment.

"i know, i know. i'll give you something better," he whispers, kissing your cheek.

he unbuckles himself, and lowers his boxers to reveal his aching dick, tip wet with precum, veins bulging out the sides. looks the same as you remember. he pumps it a couple of times with his hand that's still covered with your slick, and he twitches. this isn't a dream, is it?

"oh god, please, i need it-" you plead, your hole feeling eager and empty.

"it's all yours," he mumbles. your begging makes him lightheaded as he lines himself up at your weeping cunt.

"i'm all yours."

when he sinks in deep to the hilt, you cry out at the fullness, as his tip pushes the spot inside you that had been feeling so lonely for years. your hands finds themselves against his back, feeling for his tight muscles.

"shit- 'm gonna lose my mind," sukuna groans as he gives a few shallow thrusts into you, cock so hard and throbbing wildly as your plush walls clamp on him and coats him with your arousal. he grabs one of your hands from his back and interlocks his fingers with yours against the mattress, before leaning down to bring his lips against the side of your neck.

"oh, thank god... thank god, you changed your mind. i love you. i would've been so fucking miserable without you, doll. for the rest of my life," he croons, breath fanning so close to your ear. you shudder at the tone of his voice, tearing up again, mixed with pleasure and relief, and you grab his hand tighter.

you turn your head a little more to the side, making it easier for sukuna to bite and suck on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his thrusts increase in speed, nudging your g-spot with every movement.

soon enough, he's bringing his attention back to your tongue, which he caresses with his own, nibbling on your lower lip, maintaining this same perfect pace in his thrusts that brings you closer to your orgasm.

"sukuna- i'm- i'm gonna-" you say breathlessly.

but he merely kisses you again, swallowing up any words you could say or moans you could let out, not minding the gasps and whimpers that you make.

sweat beads on his perfect body, and he makes out with you through your high, groaning back when he feels your walls flutter around him. he's close. even once you've finished cumming, he begins to pound into you quicker, wanting to get to his own orgasm. you claw at his back, crying out in pleasure, as sukuna's tongue lathers your jawline.

he wants to breed you so fucking bad. but no, that'll have to wait. he can't do something to jeopardize your trust in him. he'd rather die than endure another second of being distanced from you again.

right before he's pushed off the edge, sukuna pulls out and desperately jerks himself off above your stomach, panting as his cock throbs in his hand with every spurt that coats you, feeling so hot against your tummy.

you feel a twinge of disappointment, because you also wanted to feel that in your womb...

his dick twitches weakly after being spent, and he breathes heavily, liking the sight of you being covered in his seed for another time. (and many more from now.)

" 'kuna... it's a safe day for me today," you suggest to him without thinking. "i want it inside me..."

the phrase is enough to get heat pooling in his abdomen, and he feels himself get hard all over again.

"you sure, doll? if it's what you want, i'll..." he begins to say, almost flustered by your suggestion. you know you shouldn't say this next line, but it's so easy to get carried away with this man... get caught up in the heat of the moment.

"i want your babies so bad."

you've hit his switch. sukuna growls and puts you into a mating press instantaneously, making you squeak.

"no takebacks," he mutters dangerously, beginning the second round.

the night is long, but heavenly, as soon after he dumps everything he has into your womb, then proceeds to eat you out, making you cry for the third time before sunrise.

when you're awake, it's already heading past midday, and you're relieved to see that yesterday's happenings were not a dream, seeing as the large man is sleeping with an iron hold around your body, as if subconsciously afraid you'd leave him before he woke up again.

he awakens from his slumber to your light, feathery touches on his face, which puts him in a good mood from the moment he opens an eye. it was the scenario he's always dreamed of. waking up next to you, smiling.

there's much to talk about. about what's to come next, future plans, worries, and things they need to do to make amends for all the lost years between each other. but you decide to take things slow.

back to bullet points again bc im lazy to write it properly now

you spend the weekend w him at the hotel and stuff, just playing eating and sleeping, catching up yk

he tells you on his own accord that he wants to let everyone know that he's with you now, but he's worried that it'll bring backlash to you but you tell him you're going to be brave and take it, bc you WANT everyone to know

anyway prepare for turbulence

but everything'll be alright bc hes with you

im thinking about how mopey he'll be when you have to separate from him bc you each have your own homes rn, hes always asking you to come over or if he can come over to your place

and he'll be begging you to move in soon, like old times (he lives in a rich man house now tho)

and also thinking about how its a fresh start, but they also go through old memories and now reminiscing isnt painful anymore bc yall are back together

sukuna also says he's stopped doing romance genres in acting bc he had felt annoyed acting in lovey dovey scenes when his own love life used to be in shambles all the time

and bc hes at a point in his career where he has more choice in choosing between scripts that are offered to him, he's going to continue to decline the ones that have love interests, it doesnt affect him that much anyway

he's just being more considerate of your feelings now... and you promised him that you'll never just disappear like that again when you're upset haha...

sometimes when you still have a few disagreements with him, he keeps subtly checking up on you (hes traumatised, leave him be)

lots of facetiming when he has to go overseas for filming purposes <3

okay, thats all, bye <3

Masterlist

[herlondonboy]

I Miss You, I’m Sorry

pairings: Taylor Swift x gn!reader (platonic)

Summary: in which you’ve been at everyone of Taylor’s opening shows in the pit since the Fearless tour, but you’re not at the opening of the eras tour

warnings: angst, unspecified chronic illness, reader death, this was supposed to be happy, spelling mistakes, sad Tay.

word count: 1.5k

You had been to everyone of Taylor Swift’s tours. It was a known fact between the Swifties. So much so that people went go up to you at the beginning of the Reputation Stadium Tour and asked for your autograph.

You and Taylor weren’t necessarily friends, but she was well acquainted with you and how your wear obscure outfits to each show. She often found herself scouring the front rows of each show for a familiar, comforting face.

Many videos had showed how Taylor’s eyes would light up when she saw you and vice versa. How she’d wave giddily, and hold back a laugh at your costume and how you’d bounce up and down, screaming the lyrics louder than anyone else.

You weren’t the first Swiftie, but you had been crowned the biggest Swiftie.

At the end of the Glendale show, you had stayed behind to take a mass amount of photos in your costume. That was the first time you were taken backstage. Part of you thought that you were being kidnapped (three men in all black, looking all emotionless and brooding leading you somewhere dark was suspicious to say the least), but then Taylor was stood in front of you with a wide smile.

Your eyes were wide and your mouth was agape, not to mention that you could hear your heart beating in your ears. “H-Hi?” You squeaked out, afraid that if you spoke too quickly you’d wake from this dream.

“Hi! Y/N, I’m-“

“Taylor-fucking-Swift,” you cut her off with a gasp.

Tears welled up in your eyes. You were supposed to meet her at the Reputation Secret Sessions in New York, but something had come up, so you didn’t get to. Part of you wished this had happened three years ago when you weren’t so weak, but it was happening nonetheless.

“Can i hug you?” Taylor asked.

You nodded rapidly and Taylor leaned forward to wrap her arms around you. You melted into the hug, sniffling softly, “I can die happily now.”

Taylor chuckled, “I missed you at the Secret Sessions,” there was a frown in her voice that made you feel guilty.

“I caught the flu,” You lied, “I didn’t want to make you or anyone else sick. I really wanted to go, though.”

The blonde smiled, still hugging you, “Well, when my next album comes out, I’ll have a super secret session just for you. Since you’re my biggest fan,” She said and there was some truth behind her words.

You had been invited to Taylor’s house to listen to the songs on Lover a few days before the first Lover Secret Session. To say you adored each song (Death By A Thousand Cuts being your favourite) was an understatement.

Taylor didn’t notice how jittery you got when Soon You’ll Get Better was playing. It seemed like you had related especially to that song, whether you were the best friend of the person in the hospital room or you were the person in the hospital room.

Your sister, who was also a big fan of Taylor and had been accompanying you to each tour, had always skipped that song whenever playing the Lover album in order, it hurt.

When Midnights came out, you were practically promised a world tour since the Lover Fest was cancelled due to the global pandemic. That was a hard time Your you and your older sister. As if you weren’t sick enough as it was, you had caught the coronavirus and had been forced into a hospital where your family couldn’t visit you for months.

But it got better. The rerelease of Fearless and the release of Folklore came and some people had spammed your instagram account with the news of finding out that you had helped Taylor write the bonus song. Then not long after, you had been allowed visitors and your sister never left your side again.

Though you were bedridden, you kept a smile on your face. Most people weren’t bothered by your sudden disappearance, it had happened a few times in the past whenever you had gotten sick, because you always came back with a brighter smile.

Then Midnights came out and Taylor announced her Eras tour and TikTok was going wild. Some fans were complaining about the price, some were wondering if you had gotten tickets. That led to people beginning to worry. You had never been gone for two years, and worse, your sister was gone, too.

So, when March 17th rolled up, and Taylor opened the tour with Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince, Taylor and her fans searched for you in the crowd. You weren’t there. And the second night in Glendale, you weren’t there either, but your sister was.

And that gave Taylor a little bit of hope. She waved at your sister, who waved back, fiddling with bottom of the top that you wore to the opening of the Fearless tour back in 2009.

At the end of the show, your sister had been led backstage where Taylor had changed and attacked her with a hug. The blonde broke away with a grin, “Hi! How are you? It’s been ages!”

“I’m good, yeah, it has.” Your sister responded, “Life’s been cruel, you know?”

The blonde nodded and looked down, “Where’s?-“

“Y/N told me to give you this,” Your sister held out a diary, making Taylor falter.

“What’s this?” She asked, frowning at the title of it.

Your sister sniffled, “They said- They said that they’re sorry that they couldn’t make it this year, that something came up. They really wanted to be here, Tay.”

The blonde felt her cheeks begin to dampen as your sister continued talking.

“They wrote this when they realised that they wouldn’t-“ A sob tried to claw its way out of your sister’s throat. “M-make it.”

The blonde shook her head.

Whilst the two of you weren’t necessarily friends, you knew each other well enough to know that you didn’t need to label whatever it was going on between the two of you. Your sister’s shoulder’s shook slightly as Taylor took the diary and hugged the woman.

“I’m so sorry,” She apologised profusely. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

A few days later, It was the Las Vegas shows. And, though Taylor hadn’t quite recovered from the news, she couldn’t just not go and perform. So, swallowing down her tears, she made her way onto the stage and sang like she wasn’t feeling all of these negative emotions.

And when it came to her surprise songs, she was sat at the piano, blinking away her tears. She cleared her throat and looked at her fans with a small smile, “So, uh, How is everybody?”

They began screaming on top of each other, making her chuckle slightly.

“Um, I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, but my good friend, Y/N Y/L/N past away last year. Their- their sister told me after the second show in Glendale and they wrote down a diary, wording every thought that had ever crossed their mind about me. They said- they said if they ever died and we became friends they wouldn’t want me to cry for them because they’re ’no one special,’ but they were probably one of the best people that I have ever met.

“Y/N drew a sketch of what their next outfit to one of my tours would be,” The image went up on the screen, before a series of photos of you at tours, smiling at Taylor and the camera. “I just- I wanted to say that even though we didn’t do labels, you were probably my best friend, Y/N,” She sniffled, “And I love you.”

The chords to your favourite song began and as Taylor tried to keep the lump in her throat down and her tears at bay, and a slideshow that your sister had composed began playing in the background.

Your life played out in front of everyone from beginning to finish, from 1994 to 2022. All twenty eight years. The people in the audience watched as you lost your parents and then yourself.

And then in the end, a photo of you grinning tiredly flashed onto the screen as the song faded out. And just as it ended, your voice sounded through the speakers.

Is this recording? Yeah? I’m going to assume it is. Okay, um, it’s February 21st— Happy Birthday, Joe. Uh, i don’t know what I want to say. I mean, thank you to everyone that has made my life worth living. I mean, at fifteen I wore a stupid outfit to a Taylor Swift concert and now I’m friends with her? It’s kind of sad knowing that I’ll never get to hear Speak Now Taylor’s Version, but oh well.

I’m going to be honest, I’m so scared to die. Every night for the past six months I’ve been scared to fall asleep, knowing that there will be a chance that I don’t wake up. I don’t want to die, I’m terrified. I don’t want to leave my sister alone and I know that she doesn’t want me to know, but she’s been crying herself to sleep since we got the news.

I just want to know if you’ll look after her for me? I’m all she’s got. Thank- thank you. I love you.

There was silence followed by Taylor’s small, ‘I love you, too.’ And then cheers from the crowd. Some people were announcing their admiration for you and some were crying.

“I miss you, Y/N.” Taylor whispered. “I’m sorry for not being there with you.”

—

What’s your favourite Taylor Swift song?

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Hi beautyyyy I’m back spamming your inbox bc I love your stuff and I thought it would be fun to request a “there’s only one bed” trope with either Carlos or Mick. I hope you’re having an amazing day!!!

We Can Share - Mick Schumacher

<word count - 1305>

The strobe lights were blaring and the colours constantly attacking your eyes were giving you a slight headache. Well, it was probably that and the amounts of alcohol that you were consuming. 

You and pretty much every driver on the grid were in the club, celebrating the summer break and getting ready to wind down for a while. Now, you, Mick, Esteban, Pierre and a few others were scattered around a table, idly sipping at drinks as the music drilled through your heads.

"Do you guys want to come back to mine for a bit? It might be quieter," Esteban yelled over the music, earning nods from all of you around. You said your goodbyes before dipping out of the club, the wind washing over your skin.

The coolness was welcomed after dancing between many sweating bodies, and it felt freshening. "Feel free to stay over tonight if you want," Esteban said, opening the door to his house and ushering everyone in.

After playing some card games and drinking some more, Pierre drunkenly suggested that Esteban whipped out his old Wii and you all did some Just Dance. Of course, there was no saying no to Just Dance, so you watched on as people made fools of themselves. 

You had done Just Dance with this exact group of people before, so you all had favourites that you like to do as pairs. You and Esteban always had to do 'Get Lucky', since people cackled at his poor attempt at the footwork.

You weren't a Beyonce level dancer by any means, but you were better than Esteban. Especially drunk Esteban. The pair of you struck the ending pose, earning whoops and cheers from the people sat around on the couch.

"Are we ready for the big finale?" Pierre hollered, snatching the Wii remote off you and scrolling across the song board until he found what he was looking for. You glanced over to Mick, hands on hips as you caught your breath. 

"Not tonight guys, I'm too tired," you shook your head, trying to sit back down. Esteban threw himself into the empty spot on the couch you were aiming for, smirking at you. "Do it. Do it," Esteban started chanting, nudging Mick and looking directly at you.

Finally, you gave in to their persistence and looked over at Mick's quickly reddening face. "Only if you do it," you said, holding your hand out to him. 

"Fine," he smiled, unable to say no to you and to the tradition. After every night out when you all ended up at someone's house, you and Mick were always forced to dance the 'Timber' dance from Just Dance 2014.

You didn't need the dancers on screen, you just needed the music and you had learnt the moves already. You took your positions, Mick playing the Panda, and got on with the dancing. Eventually, you hopped on Mick's back and let your entire weight rest on him. 

You rested your head on the back of his shoulder, trying to suppress a yawn as you fought the urge to fall asleep on his back. "I'm going to head to bed now, guys," you said, slowly sliding off Mick's back.

"Yeah, me too," Mick agreed. Everyone retreated to their rooms that they normally had at Esteban's, but you got to yours to find Yuki already passed out on the bed. He didn't tend to come to the after parties, so he didn't have an assigned room at Estie's.

Sighing in defeat, you turned back around and headed back for the couch. Once you had finally found a comfortable position, a scratchy blanket draped over you, you tried to fall asleep. Just as you were about to drift off, you heard some footsteps approaching.

You didn't want them to talk to you, so you rolled over and screwed your eyes shut. The cupboard opened and closed, and the tap turned on and off. The person started walking back to their room, and you felt their gaze on you as their footfalls fell still.

The glass was set down and the footsteps approached you. From behind the couch, the person gently tucked a lock of your loose hair behind your ear. When they pulled their hand away, you needed to know who it was. 

You opened your eyes to see Mick stood over you, his blue eyes looking right back at you. "Sorry, did I wake you up?" he winced, pulling his hand away.

"No, I was awake," you nodded, pulling the blanket further up your shoulders. 

"Why are you out here?" he asked, sitting next to you. You took the chance to have a good look at him, his blonde hair was ruffled and his cheeks were rosy out of tipsiness.

"Yuki is passed out in my room, so I am out here," you explained, groaning as the couch creaked under you as the hard springs contracted. "You can have mine if you want," he offered without hesitation. 

"No, it's alright. I'm fine here," you reassured, just wanting to sleep. Inside, you were suppressing the urge to start giggling like a teenager at his offer. 

"I'm not leaving you here," he said, standing and grabbing your arm. Mick tugged you up with him, and you didn't have the energy to resist. He dragged you all the way to his room, pushing you down onto the bed.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he smiled, prepared to take your spot on the couch. 

"Mick, come back. This is your bed," you spoke, slightly timid. "We can share if you want," you said, but you weren't sure he heard you. You didn't want him to go back to the uncomfortable couch. "You sure?"

"Yeah, of course," you nodded as he tentatively padded back over to you and led next to you. For a moment, he just sat there, gazing at you. You had been friends for a while, but you had never shared a bed. 

"Are we making a pillow barrier or..." he trailed off, taking some of the pillows from behind his head and getting ready to put them in-between the two of you. He wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible during this situation. 

 "Mick, we're not twelve. We can sleep in the same bed without a pillow barrier," you softly giggled, watching as he blushed. 

"I'll see you in the morning, Mick," you smiled, shimmying under the covers and finally getting comfortable. He just sat there a bit, before shuffling under the duvet with you. 

After a few minutes, you heard Mick softly snoring next to you.

As you were about to finally fall asleep peacefully for the first time that night, a pair of arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush to his chest. You didn't even think of wriggling away, it made you even comfier.

You relaxed into his embrace, letting your legs tangle with his. For a moment, you couldn't believe that he had done that, but he was asleep so he wasn't consciously doing it.

You felt his breath on the back of your neck as his fingers absentmindedly traced up and down your arm. "Good night, my love," you could have sworn you heard him mumble. He was very clearly asleep, so you just brushed it off as sleep talking. 

Now, you were falling asleep in the comforting arms of one of your best friends. You let your mind wander and imagine that this was something that happened every night.

You let yourself imagine a time that this was a regular thing and savoured every minute of it. For the rest of the night, Mick held you close and neither of your stirred until the late morning.

If it was anyone else, you probably would have opted for the pillow barrier. But, because it was Mick, it made the whole situation a whole lot better. Maybe Yuki could come over to Esteban's more often. 

A/N - Hope you enjoyed my love, I adore all of your requests! The Carlos version will be out soon, I'm currently writing it. If you want to make a request, you can either message me or send it through the submissions button on my page. Have a good day lovelies!

|masterlist|

[ahhhsami]

What writing tips would you give to beginner writers?

These are some general things I wished I had known when I started writing. Keep in mind that everyone is different, so these tips may not be as useful to you as it may be to someone else.

Tropes exist for a reason. If you have an idea, but see that there's already a fic with similar ideas, that's okay. Don't be discouraged. Tropes are loved because people want to read them and reread them. Plus your take will always be different from others because we all have different perspectives, writing styles, and ideas.

Write for the hell of it. If you have an idea, just write. It's okay if it's not good. It's okay if you never go back to it. The more you write, even if it's not to be shared, is good experience and can help you grow as a writer. Keep in mind though, that the more you post, the more feedback you receive which can help you improve greatly. It's always good to get constructive criticism from others. It's also okay to not be interested in constructive criticism. You'll still improve just by writing more.

Write for yourself. This might sound cliché, but it's true. Write what you want to and what you enjoy. Even if it's niche, that's okay since there will still be people interested in it. Interests are not exclusive and you may even be surprised that what you think is niche, might not be at all!

Schedules work for some and don't work for others. If you're a person that knows deadlines work for you and it won't hinder your creativity, then set a schedule for yourself. Set goals of writing a specific amount of words. Set dates when you'll post new chapters. BUT, it's also okay if schedules don't work for you. They personally don't work for me at all. Writing and sharing, especially when it comes to fanfiction is FREE. So don't feel obligated to get a chapter out by this time or that time. Creativity comes and goes, things in life happen, there's so many factors to posting, so don't feel pressured to do as others. Do what suits you! Some people can post every week, some can post every few months, some people need years and that's perfectly okay.

Don't base your success on hits/comments/kudos/etc. Some of the best stories I have ever read on AO3 have had low hits/comments/kudos. There are so many hidden gems out there. But do keep in mind that when you start writing and posting, these things may naturally be lower at the beginning. Over time, as you post more, people can become familiar with your style and what you write. On top of that, this feeds back to just writing. Writing more will improve your skills, which then will draw in more readers and also get them to stay or look at your other works.

Don't be scared to share and self-promote. When you start, it can be daunting to share what you've created. But we all had to start somewhere and if you asked me if I liked my first stories, it would be a hard no. What matters when I do look back at them, is that I see improvement. And as long as you keep working and enjoying the process, then improvement will definitely happen. Finally, when it comes to self-promoting, do it! Sometimes the only time I see a new story that I end up loving is because someone has promoted their own work. They're proud of it and I love to find new things that people were passionate about. I will also shamelessly recommend my own stories if needed. Just don't spam people 😂

Pantser, Plotter, or Plantser. These are three different ways of describing your writing style. Pantsers are more fluid and free with the way they write. Plotters lean toward more strict planning, relying on outlines and following a specific plan. Plantsers are a combination of the two. Try different styles and gradually you'll find what works best for you. I started out as a wildly free, honestly chaotic, Pantser but am very much a Plantser now. Writing styles can change over time, but just know that being comfortable with the style you're using is what's important.

Hopefully some of these things are helpful. They're somewhat vague and not all of them are strictly related to writing, but they are all things that I believe are important to know. These are also some things that can even be helpful to people who aren't new to writing. These are all things that I still follow and practice to this day too.

PS: I like to keep my asks/dms open for people looking for a second eye on their writing. If anyone is interested in having me read anything and share feedback, you're welcome to send me a message. My availability varies due to work, so you may not hear back from me right away though.

[ya-zz]

I just found your work and I’m in love!

I have a small req-

How’d you think Rama would react to s/o having a panic attack?

LMAO YEAH THE 50+ NOTIFICATIONS TOLD ME THAT hahah

Thank you so much though! I endorse the spamming, makes me feel all warm inside ♥

oh hey, my gif is in the Ramattra search- perfect time to use it... (I may try and get one in Shambali Monastery on Friday evening... I kinda wanna get a few different backgrounds for people to use...)

Ramattra x Reader (gen)

Word count: 1107

Ramattra was close to you, more so than with any other human. He didn’t hide it, in fact he openly expressed that he enjoyed spending time with you. Just the thought of being around you brought a warmth within his wires, something of which he enjoyed greatly. 

Seeing you happy made him happy, it made him fall for you more and more. Being able to see your smile everyday made it worth the restless nights he’d spend in his quarters waiting for the sun to rise. As an omnic who rarely, if at all slept, the hours would pass by slowly, almost torturing him. 

Of course, he never made a move, valuing the friendship he had grown with you. He put his feelings aside just so he could keep being by your side. It was the one thing he did keep secret from you and everyone else - that he loved you.

However, as of late, things had been tense around you. The mood swings caught him off guard and he felt constantly on edge as if he had done something wrong. No matter how many times you would reassure him that he hadn’t done anything bad towards you, there was still a twinge of doubt coursing through his wires.

He kept a small distance with you, not wanting to hurt you further despite your assurance. He felt guilty for something he hadn’t done and you noticed it. You were somewhat grateful for the distance, being allowed to dwell with your own thoughts for awhile. 

There was a day, however, when he didn’t see you at all. He was worried, he wouldn’t lie about that. There was a slight twitch in his hands as he’d work, his mind wandering to you and what you were doing.

Only when he ventured outside did he finally find you. You were laying on the ground, staring up into the endless sky as the clouds rolled in and threatened to rain. He approached you, not wanting to alarm you. 

“Hey Ramattra…” You speak out, not moving as you heard the larger omnic approach you from the right. 

“Is everything ok, [y/n]?” He asked, standing above you and looking down as his wires hanged loosely around his head. His shadow covered your face. 

You keep your eyes on him. “Yeah. You wanna sit down with me?” 

“Can I?” 

“Sure. Some company wouldn’t hurt.” You smile, still looking up at him and finally turning when he moves to sit next to you. 

“What’s on your mind?” He asks, looking down at you. 

“Nothing important.” 

“Are you sure? You have been acting strange lately.” He cocks his head to the side slightly, optics looking at you.

“Sorry. Just some past trauma coming up…” You turn you head back, looking up at the sky again. 

“Oh? Would you-”

“Not really… Just thinking about it is bad enough…” You cut him off. 

He lets out a small hum, turning to face the mountains in the distance. “I am here for you, you know that, right?” 

“Yeah, thank you.” You smile gently, keeping your focus on the sky. 

The both of you stayed quiet, the afternoon going by peacefully until your small whimpers broke the silence. 

Ramattra looks over at you, noticing how you were asleep, chest rising and falling in an erratic rhythm. Your breathing was shallow, eyes shut tight and body shaking as you turn your head to the side, swallowing a hard lump in your throat. 

His sensors picked up a small warning coming from your body, your heart rate increasing quickly as you laid there on the grass. 

“[y/n]...?” His voice was low as he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “[y/n], is everything ok?” He could feel the panic rising in his circuitry, something of which he hadn’t felt for a long time. 

You stirred awake, eyes blinking to adjust to the daylight, your body still in a state of panic as you turn to look at the omnic, tears brimming in your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He spoke quietly, unsure on what to do.

You shifted, sitting up and placing a hand on your chest in hopes to calm yourself down but nothing was working. Your body shook violently as endless traumatic thoughts raced through your head. 

Ramattra grabbed your free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, hoping it would help in someway. When you squeezed his hand back in response, he leant over and pulled you closely to him, the quiet hum of his body aiding you in calming down. 

With the side of your head pressed against his chest, you could hear his inner workings, the soft hum of electric coursing through his body, the soft clicks as he moved his hand to gentle pet your head.

He had heard of humans having panic attacks, thinking them weak for overthinking, but seeing you in distress made him realise that it was more than that. He still had a lot to learn about humans, especially you. 

Eventually, after some time, he felt your body relax against him, the shaking had stopped and your heartbeat a normal rhythm alongside your breathing. He let out a soft sigh, hand not leaving your head as he continued to pet it, gently stroking down your scalp in soothing motions. His other hand had rested on your lower back, another gentle up and down motion. 

Some time passed as you stayed in his embrace, not wanting to move until he finally spoke.

“Are you ok?” 

You look up at him, a small nod and smile. “Yeah… Thank you…” 

“It was nothing.” He tilted his head slightly, optics scanning you. 

You rest your head back onto his chest. “Sorry you had to witness that…” 

“There is nothing to apologise for. I am glad I was here to help.” He continued his motions on your head and back, still keeping you grounded. 

“I usually deal with them myself…” You admitted shamefully. 

“Come to me if you need to. No matter the time. I do not want you to suffer.” He leans down, placing his forehead on top of your head.

A soft sigh escapes you as you lean in closer to him, smiling gently. “Thank you…” 

Ramattra felt at peace with you in his arms, looking out across the mountains. He felt even closer to you now than he did prior, the feelings inside only growing more with each passing minute. He wanted to care for you, to be there for you as much as you’d let him, through the happy times and the painful - he wanted nothing more than to be by your side.

[wikiangela]

Weekend WIP Game

tagged by @jesuisici33 <3

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

1. WIP List:

alive shannon

sick eddie

buddie coffee shop

new buddie chris' school

roommates

bi eddie

buddie death cast fic

cheating fic

untitled natalia fic

buddie 2x01

5+1 nicknames

coffee buddie

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

alive shannon with 20k words so far

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

alive shannon, since it's kinda a canon rewrite and I still haven't decided to which point it's gonna go, we'll see when it'll feel right to end it haha

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

once again, alive shannon haha - it's just so fun to explore what all those dynamics could've been, and giving Eddie and Shannon some closure, and I love exploring Shannon's character, too, speculating on her thoughts and motivations, and diving into everyone's heads, and I'm so excited to see it all develop!!

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

I think it's either alive shannon or the cheating fic alive shannon bc I've never written s2/s3 buddie and I wanna get their characters semi-right, and I don't remember a lot of details so I need to get on with my rewatch lol - and also writing Shannon's and Eddie's feelings on their relationship and how it all ended is not easy haha and the cheating fic bc it's so not my thing but a song inspired it and it got stuck in my head and it's happening haha and I hope I'll make it make sense haha

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

tbh all of them - some more, some less, but there are moments, especially lately, when veeeery often I'm just like: everything I write sucks wtf

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

@giddyupbuck agreed to beta the alive shannon fic, and I spam them with snippets if I'm in doubt and it's sooo helpful fr ily <3 and I'll need alive shannon beta-read bc it's gonna be so long, and I keep changing my mind about things bc of how many ideas I have, so I just need someone else to look at it and tell me if everything makes sense haha - and Ro's helped me so much with some previous fics so they have my full trust with my baby that is the alive shannon fic haha

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

all of them at some point lol - a few of these are actually on hold bc of that - I will get back to them tho!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

as of now there's no ocs in any of these, but we'll see haha

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

cheating fic and maaaaybe coffee buddie (if I'll ever get back to this one) - no actual smut in my wips yet atm

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

buddie death cast fic - if you've read 'they both die at the end' you know why lol this is not gonna have a happy ending

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

so far I'm loving everyone in alive shannon so I guess let's go with that haha

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

oh I am so bad this - but maybe let's say buddie coffee shop au bc i think it's the only one where I put even a little bit of focus on the setting lmao

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

alive shannon, been thinking about it and making notes for months before I started writing, and I don't think i've ever been this invested in a fic

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

alive shannon - - like I said, it's my most precious baby, and I'm so excited to not only write it but read it, and I hope it's gonna be as good as it is in my head, and I hope I'll make the story make sense with Shannon there, but also keeping some important buddie moments from canon hah

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

not sure if i've ever dreamt about a wip, but i do get new ideas in my sleep sometimes lol

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

alive shannon will have switching povs which i rarely do, so it's gonna be a challenge to write three distinct voices - and diving into Shannon's head and feelings and motivations will also definitely be hard

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I think sick eddie - he's so ridiculously stubborn and difficult istg haha or buddie coffee shop with how fucking awkward buck's being

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

yep, once again, alive shannon - it's as much a buddie fic as it is a shannon fic, so it's not exactly outside pov, bc I'm just excited to focus on her equally as much, on how she's settling into their lives, becoming a better mom, being involved in Chris' life - she's gonna have as much focus as buddie sns it's not easy, bc it's alternating povs and once I get stuck in Eddie's head it's hard to leave, but so far it's been fun

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs

uhhh, I think I share like everything lol okay, so maybe: alive shannon will definitely go at least up until s4 and will include Eddie dating Ana 👀 purely bc I want a buddie-shipping Shannon to be like wtf eddie??? also, there will be more than one mcd in the death cast fic and coffee buddie was loosely inspired by a small thing from luke cage lol

no pressure tags: @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @underwater-ninja-13 @giddyupbuck @hippolotamus @eowon @callaplums @spotsandsocks

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Regarding the split!Kim AU I'm just gonna put my ramble of thoughts out on here.

1. Okay so what events led to Kim wanting to remove his younger self? What inner turmoil, self depreciating nonsense thoughts did he put himself through?

2. Where did Kim find this magic spell and how did he follow through with it without searching for it's consequences/side effects? Did he go down a black hole on the web and found the most reviewed witch/ spell out there to help him? Idk how to words more on this brainrot

3. How long was it till Kim hid what he did and how did young!Kim reach the compound??

4. What all young!Kim must be thinking and what did he do that everyone in the compound realized something was wrong? (Plus I hope Korn is dead in this, he doesn't deserve to be alive)

5. What was Chays reaction to young!Kim and how he takes care of him and spends time with him? (just being the most loving, and Kim feels so touched and full of unknown feelings because Chay?? the love of his life?? accepts and appreciates and treats young!Kim like he's the most precious in this entire world???)

6. Young!Kim's reaction to finding out about Wik? Is he shocked/ surprised/ wonderstruck? In complete awe of himself of the future?

7. How does Kim behave with young!Kim? Is he hesitant at first? But then he sees the way everyone else treats him and has Feelings™ and then thinks (a lot) and maybe something happens like some new stupidass bodyguard shouting at/ hurting young!Kim and Kim just snapping out on him, completely pissed off and in the worst rage he could ever have, completely protecting young!Kim like who tf you think you are?? How dare you??

Okay I think that's all for now, sorry for the spam of Randomness™😅

(yes i typed this up in my notes first so i don't accidentally lose anything.)

Anon darling I'm kissing you on the forehead, you're hitting so many of my story points with these asks! I feel Seen.

I haven't decided what Kim specifically does/feels that makes him want to do this in the first place. Since I started the fic where it's already happened, I just kinda. Handwaved it. But he does comment on the fact that Chay has been pushing him towards therapy, so that's probably part of it. Kim would rather lose all his memories than talk about his feelings. He's also 2 years into dating Chay (which honestly. That's bc I wanted baby Kim to be 13, and aging Kim up to 23 gave me an easy 10 years to work with. Tbh it would work better if Kim were only a few months into dating Chay and he was willing to do anything to Be A Good Person/Boyfriend/makeup for the breakup. BUT I DIGRESS!) Anyway being with Chay makes Kim want to be/feel better, and this is his nuclear solution. It does not work.

I also don't know how he did it! I... hesitate to write white pagan magic in KP fics. Maybe Kim pulled a Porsche and went to a monk for help dealing with his traumas, and ended up with a modified past life ritual that ended up splitting him right down the middle. The most important side effect is the way Kim feels about his brothers now; Tawan trauma happened when Kim was a little older, so the Kinn his child self remembers is still very loving and happy, he hasn't pulled away yet. But for adult Kim, who's memories start when he was a teenager... there was so much distance between him and his brothers, and then he moved out a couple years later, so he feels like they're practically strangers to him. Like really distant family that you only see at weddings and funerals. Meanwhile kid!Kim is a precocious little smol who's cuddling both of them whenever he can. (Khun loves it, Kinn has no idea what to do with it but he loves it too. Adult Kim is jealous but wouldn't know how to accept affection from them.)

It all happens pretty much the next day/couple days later, as of the current time line! Kim goes to the temple and does his thing. Kid!Kim manifests wherever he was when the memory split happens; so he just. Wakes up somewhere in the middle of Bangkok, and has to find his way back to the compound. Meanwhile KimChay are living in his condo, obliviously going about their lives. It takes a while for Kid!Kim to get home, then he's sneaking all around because things are different and he doesn't understand why (and he keeps stabbing people, but like. stabby the Roomba more than murder); Kinn has to find him/calm him down/get Porsche involved and figure out what's going on before anyone thinks to call Chay (who's been busy having sex with adult Kim lol)

Korn is dead! Bc I'm lazy and didn't want to think about all the terrible things he could do to mess with smol Kim! Like I said, Kim is kind of a feral cat just let loose in the compound, surrounded by people he doesn't know and freaking out a lot, until the guards finally get him cornered in his old room and notify Kinn. Then eventually Chay gets a call from Porsche, and he goes to the compound with adult Kim, and it's a whole Thing.

Chay absolutely adores kid!Kim. He's absolutely feral but he's also a cutie pie, and he gets a crush on Chay quick. Chay loves it; he was such a lovestruck kid with Kim, now it's his turn! (And he teases adult Kim soo much about how he like likes him >,<). Adult Kim is weird with his younger self at first, bc as far as he's concerned, this may as well be a random child. So Chay schlorps him up quick bc the poor kid needs love. And Kim does come to appreciate the way Chay takes care of his younger self (he has some very odd memories about it when they're eventually reunited.)

My goodness, young Kim is so excited. At that age, he had all these dreams about the life he wished he could have, but he never thought it would really happen. But he got away from his father, he gets to chase his dreams of making music, he has a (very cute!!) boy that loves him, that he gets to love in return. It's all his dreams come true. Again, Chay thinks this is adorable, that Kim was such a dreamy little kid. (Kim is also so excited when he finds out that!! Chay lets him write songs about him!! that's so cool!!! And Chay writes him songs too!?!?!)

Like I said, at the start kid Kim may as well be some random child, he's vaguely curious about what happened but has no personal investment (kid Kim might be. a little. heartbroken about that. He's very sensitive.) But overtime Kim warms up to him, learns how to love him and take care of him. It's seeing this as someone else, rather than himself, that allows him to "forgive" himself. It's easy to blame himself for all the bad parts of his life when he's not looking that poor kid in the eyes. And bc I think cuddles are important, and Kim definitely wasn't hugged enough as a child, there's many snugs. There are still Mafia Things going on around all this that Kim has to deal with, so kid Kim spends a lot of time with Chay and his brothers, but there are a lot of times where he's asleep between KimChay. He kind of is like their kid in some ways. It's an odd dynamic for Kim, especially when he gets those memories of being cuddled by himself and Chay?? But ultimately it's a good thing for him. (Except the Porsche memories. He doesn't want those 😤)

These were so much fun, thank you for sending them!! I love talking about this AU <3<3<3

[pochipop]

＃MYSTIC MESSENGER !! ♡ — ASKING THEM TO SLOW DANCE AT THE PARTY.

#. synopsis! — asking them to slow dance with you at the official rfa party .

#. characters! — jumin, yoosung, hyun (zen) .

#. warnings! — none .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

𖦹. ━ JUMIN !!

Jumin took a few ballroom dancing classes when he was young, but never found himself enjoying it. He'd only attended diligently because his father had insisted that he do so, and back then, Jumin had yet to learn how to stand against that man's frivolous wishes. Thankfully, the need to attend the classes went out the window after Jumin's father and one of the young, female instructors ended their fleeting relationship. So, he never went back, and the proper way to dance elegantly with a partner that Jumin once memorized in order to appease those around him eventually got lost to time.

When you take hold of his hand, your warmth seeping from your palm to his own, and ask him if he wants to dance with you to the slow song that just began playing. . . He hesitates.

"I'm not much of a dancer," he says, —but he hates the way that little twinkle of excitement in your eyes dies out like a meteor crashing to Earth's surface. 

You're not going to force him to do something he's uncomfortable with, and that much he knows for certain. But he also knows that you've put yourself in some very precarious situations in order to help and even protect him, and he feels it would be wrong to deny you something so small. In the end, if he were to make a fool of himself, you'd still love him. You'd still be there, even if everyone else were to turn his way and laugh. Your opinion matters to him more than anyone else's in the room.

"As long as you're alright with having me as a partner, though. . . I'll give it my best," Jumin adds.

It doesn't really matter to you how he performs. You just want to feel his hands on you, holding steady along your hips with your own arms around his neck. This isn't a dancing competition, after all, you're simply seeking closeness and something a little romantic to sweeten the pot. Two slow songs had gone by, and you were worried that as the party drew to a close, you might not get another chance to ask. By the time the third one began, you'd gathered up nerve to do so, and you were elated when he didn't choose to turn you down.

Your heart bursts as the dimmed lights glimmer off his eyes. A rainbow of colors reflects off his irises like stained glass windows to the soul. He takes one of your hands in his own, and you watch as his long, lithe fingers find their homes in the slits between your own. His other arm reaches out, allowing the flat of his hand to match the curve of your body, touching just along your side. Sheepishly, you bring your free hand up to rest along his shoulder.

Even now, when you can feel the stiffness and slight apprehension in his body and in the way he moves, Jumin looks as elegant as ever. There's something regal about him, as if he were born with such high confidence and the ability to work his way smoothly through any situation. Of course, you've seen many sides of him by now, but. . . You'd still venture to call him princely, even after knowing all you do.

When you meet his gaze and offer him a small, bashful smile, his lips curve up at the edges.

"I feel honored when you smile at me," he comments softly, mumbling the words into your hair before pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of your head.

Some eyes naturally draw to Jumin as he dances with you, stiffness melding into something much more fluid as he relaxes into the movements. You know a few women here at the party are looking on with scorn in their eyes, jealous of you for being so close to the man they dream of. Still, you can't bring yourself to care much about them when Jumin pulls you closer, his grip steadying.

Others are simply shocked that Jumin is dancing with someone so intimately, seeing as he's gone the vast majority of his career without ever parading a lover about. And even now, that's hardly what he plans to do. He doesn't care if people don't understand. . . All that matters is that you see right through him as if he's made of glass. Shattered glass that you've somehow managed smoothed back together.

You've taken the mangled threads inside him into your graceful hands, nimble fingers untangling the mess he's been caught in for as long as he can remember. You've soothed the ache inside him, —and your heart skips a beat when his breath ghosts against the shell of your ear as he whispers to you that he loves you.

𖦹. ━ YOOSUNG !!

Yoosung has lived a fairly normal life, all things considered. He never learned how to slow dance, just like many young men his age. There wasn't really a reason for him to do so, and if he's being honest, the idea of it has never particularly appealed to him. After all, you're the first lover he's ever had, and he's at least eighty-five percent sure that you need a partner to slow dance with before you can really figure out how to get the hang of it.

So, when you ask Yoosung if he'd like to dance with you, he initially panics a little, worried that maybe slow dancing is just something everyone knows how to do, and somehow he's been left completely out of the loop.

"I. . . I don't really know how," he admits, "—but if you want to, then I'd like to try!"

If you were anyone else, he'd have wrapped that up by requesting that you not make fun of him for having no clue what he's doing. But, you are, in fact, you, and Yoosung knows that you're not the type to make fun of him when he's making an active effort to please you.

The music is soft and slow. It plays in the background like a living soundtrack synced to your heartbeat as Yoosung puts his arms around your middle and you rest your hands along his shoulders. He shivers under your touch, still reeling from the idea that someone like you is his, —his to love, to respect, and to admire like you're some celestial being that ascended from the heavens above. His heart is beating like a drum, and with you being so close, his cheeks flush a pale pink at the idea that you may be able to hear it.

"Am I doing this right?" The blond asks, glancing down at his feet for the fifth time within a minute, careful not to step on your toes.

"You're doing fine," you reply, massaging your fingers into his shoulder ever so gently in hopes that it might soothe some of his worries.

Yoosung feels his heart blossom at your touch. He's never felt like this before, and he's not sure what to do with himself. His heart throbs more with every brush of your fingertips, and all he can think about is you, —your eyes that temper the anxiety as it crawls up his spine, threatening to send him into another downward spiral. Your lips that he's brushed his own over, and every single time it's sent a shockwave of starkly innocent pleasure to every cell in his body.

"It doesn't even matter how you dance," you add softly, "—as long as I'm dancing with you, I don't care about anything else."

He feels himself melt like wax under a wick's flickering flame. If he could, he'd like to crawl inside your heart and live there, safe and warm. Yoosung feels comfortable here, when he's close to you and has nothing left to hide. His walls have come down, and you've embraced him, —all of him. The broken young man he still is on dark, lonely nights as well as the smiling student he shows the world so they won't worry. He wants you to see every face, meet every version of him, because he knows you'll love each and every one of them down until he's learned how to weld himself back together again.

"I'm really happy to hear that," he says, voice nearly catching in the back of his throat.

You feel his arms tighten around you, pulling you closer to him. When you rest your forehead against his chest, he doesn't bother to bite back the happy smile that forces its way onto his face.

This is what true love feels like. . .

𖦹. ━ HYUN (ZEN) !!

Hyun is no stranger to dancing. In his line of work, he's mastered lots of talents in order to be eligible for a wider array of roles. It's certainly paid off, if his diverse history of characters and projects is anything to go off of, —but even so, dancing with his lover seems to present a completely different challenge. There are so many more emotions with this; real ones that he doesn't have to muster up the skill to act out. These are raw and just about as genuine as Hyun has ever felt anything at all, —so authentic that it's driving him wild.

It's not that he fears messing up. Much the opposite in fact, Hyun is fairly certain everything will go his way, and even if it didn't, he knows you would be the last person in the room to laugh at his expense. Still, he's never been in love. Not for real, anyway. He's played a lovesick fool under blindly white lights or up on a velvety stage, but he's never let someone in like this. He's never torn himself open to let someone else see everything that lingers below that confident, handsome surface. You're the first to know him inside and out, and that scares him as much as it quenches his anxiety.

When you ask him to dance, he shoots you a smile and quickly agrees, but you take note of the way his crimson eyes quiver. The sharpness of them dulls a bit, —and you make note of it, reminding yourself to tread gently with him.

While he plays up the inner beast that seeks to devour his love, you know well and good that sometimes, that so-called beast is nothing more than a silly little puppy frolicking behind in Hyun's shadow.

"I've slow danced for performances before, but this. . . This is my first time with someone I actually love," Hyun admits.

His strong arms are tight around your waist, keeping you close to him, while your arms are wrapped around his neck. He guides you, clearly being the more experienced of the two when it comes to dancing of this kind, —and he does it with such delicate precision that it's hard to imagine he could be anything less than perfectly confident about it. But, then again, Hyun does seem to be completely and utterly golden in nearly every aspect, almost too much to be real. . . And yet there's something much less flattering (in his own eyes, anyway,) that lingers below the surface.

"It still feels a little bit like a dream," you admit, "—to hear you say you love me, that is."

With robotic precision, Hyun guides you in this dance. His grip is secure and snug, but far from tight. He offers just enough pressure to set your heart on fire.

"Really?" He blinks, shocked to hear you say that to him, as if you've managed to read his mind and spout his own sentiments right back at him. "I feel like I should be the one saying that to you."

The giggle that erupts from the back of your throat leaves Hyun laughing softly with you before he bends over slightly and presses his forehead to your own. Sighing gently, he mumbles your name under his breath. Your heart skips a beat at the mere sound of it as it falls from his full lips. If it were physically possible, he'd pull you close. But, unfortunately for the both of you, it's not, —especially if you're keen on continuing this dance with him.

Hyun likes that there's no pressure here with you, no demands that he knows he has to meet at the end of it all. You don't want anything in particular from him. . . You just want him as he is, no qualifiers or conditions attached.

This, he thinks to himself, is what falling in love feels like.

[manonamora-if]

Supporting your IF Authors: A tutorial (?)

I had made a small tutorial back on @interact-if a few months ago. Here is the very extended version. Also this is a very long post.

Obviously, you are not forced to do every single one of those actions below (it would be hypocritical of me to say so), but it helps show the authors their readerbase care about their works. Most action only takes a few seconds to a couple of minutes.

Let me know if I forgot something or made a mistake!

Note: while this is specific to IF authors, it can also be applied to other creators.

TLDR: Engage with stuff you like. Lurking might be nice and easy for you but can be detrimental to your fav author. Sharing is caring, y'all! Also, please don't keep the base avatar, it makes us think you are a bot. Don't behave like a bot.

On this Hellsite.

Many ways to interact with the authors you follow. Some are very simple but not really effective. Others require a bit more effort but really goes a long way.

Likes

The easiest to do. Just one click on the heart.

Pros: - tells your fav author you like their stuff. - easiest thing to do. Cons: - It's pretty much just a bookmark function on this site. - The "algorithm" doesn't really care for it.

ALSO: don't feel weird about going through the archive and like old posts. You'll prob find some gems there. LIKING OLD CONTENT IS NOT CRINGY!!!

Reblog

Requires maybe 3 more clicks and some typing if you add comments/tags. Still relatively easy. Best way to share what you like to others. The only way a post appears on a dashboard.

Pros: - tells your fav author you like their stuff in a more ✨🌟personalised 🌟✨way. - helps their post travel this hellscape and reach other people who could like this content (see addendum at the end). - the "algorithm" likes it. - you can queue them for a later date/so you don't spam your followers. Cons: None (lol).

Notes: - do not reblog posts with a #don't reblog tag. - consider adding trigger warnings to your reblogs if the original one has some too. - TEMPLATE/ASSETS/RESSOURCE: always reblog those to help your neighbour. Who knows? One of your followers or your follower's followers might be looking for that. Also: good karma. - post doesn't fit your ✨aesthetic ✨? have a side-blog and put it there.

Asks

Needs a bit more effort. You need to think of words to write or picture to send. Also, can feel a bit nerve-wracking interacting with someone you look up to (they're like you, don't worry). But one of the most rewarding note for authors.

Pro: - you have a direct line of communication with the author, making it easy to ask questions, give feedback/comments. - you can positively impact their days with a few words. Yup. Seriously. - most authors really like asks, it's probably the most engaging response you can get from your readers. - you can asks stuff anonymously (unless the author has turned it off), we've all done it. Cons: - you need to think of words to say and muster the courage to press ask. - it might not available because other people abused it/were dicks in the author's dm.

Ask Etiquette/Advice

Be nice and respectful! Just because you have a direct/anonymous like to that author doesn't mean manners can be thrown out the window. They are like everyone: humans with feelings. Internet may make it difficult to see other people as... well people, but they are. Don't be a dick. A Hello or How are you? really goes a long way.

Ask questions about the project/process Interested in a particular part of the project or the authors' process? Ask about it! We love to talk about our projects and characters.

Feedback doesn't have to be complex/long. If you don't know how to put your feelings about their works into words, take a small aspect of the project and explain why it stuck with you. I really liked how you portrayed X's relationship with Y. That scene with Z made me feel V. Or you can be a bit more generic (still add a bit of yourself): Your writing is great! The UI is very pretty. The game is amazing.

Don't demand things. Duh. That's rude.

Don't spam. Even if they don't reply to your question right away. They may have a reason not to do it. Or they want to keep your post for just themselves. May be ok for positive ones (ask first).

Replies

This is fairly new on Tumblr (2021?). They're pretty much comments without rebloging. Great for giving feedback/sending love to a specific post.

Pro: - Yay engagement. - Another way to send your fav author love! Cons: - That's it. It's not visible unless you open the notes of a post. Unsure if it makes any difference in the algorithm. - it is not anonymous.

Other ways

A non-exhaustive list:

Create fan art : Always appreciated, we love to see your interpretation of our work and your OCs. Caveat: only if the author allows it. Ask the author if you are unsure.

Participate in Beta-Testing : Big part of IF it testing before release. Many authors will have a call for beta a few weeks/months. Consider rebloging that too.

Answer Poll/Feedback forms : Aside from Beta-testing, authors may post a poll or ask for feedback for a functionality/path. This is a great way for us to get direct responses. Consider rebloging that too.

Published Platform

There are many places where an author can publish their games. Below are the most used/known ones. You will require an account for most of those (it's worth it, I promise).

ITCH.IO

Itch has a lot of games.

A LOT of Games. To help your favourite game gain traction, you need to... engage with it! All ways are super easy and takes very little time too!

Play the Game

Duh. (Also I lied about the time it takes, that will depend on the game) Account not required.

Collection

You can add games/assets/whatever page on a collection (folder) to keep it as a to play later or share as a game you enjoyed. You can make those collections public and share it to the world!

To do that, click on Add to Collection (top left corner on laptop, bottom bar on mobile) and choose the collection you want.

Rate the Game

It's as easy as 1, 2, 3. Nope, not joking. 3 clicks and that's it. Ready?

Click on Rate this... on the top-left corner of the page.

Click on the amount of stars you want to give.

And click Submit.

Aaaaand that's it. Easy-peasy.

For Mobiles: the UI is a bit wonky and doesn't give you the option to rate a game. As such, you have 2 options:

put your phone in landscape mode: the feature will be at the top of the page (see below, I took a random game from the front page).

put the page in desktop mode (Chrome, Firefox) and follow the same description as above.

NOTE: This functions is not available if the game has been submitted to a Jam/Comp and said Jam is in its voting period! It will be available again when the ranking/votes have been released. If possible, consider voting for that game in the Jam/Comp as well.

Review the Game

Want to give your rating a bit more depth? Or you have a comment you want to give the author? Then add a review to your rating before clicking on Submit! Note: The review is only visible to the author.

Leave a Comment

You can leave a comment at the bottom of the game's page. Can be a few words, can be an essay, whatever floats your boat.

Don't know what to say? Take a small aspect of the game and explain why it stuck with you. EX: I really liked how you portrayed X's relationship with Y. That scene with Z made me feel V. The UI/Design is W.

Also, you get notified if the creator answers your comment!

Share the game

There is not specific button on itch to share a game. BUT: you can copy the page's link and paste it wherever you want to share the game! Easy-peasy!

Other ways

Follow the Author: to get updated on the game's process, bugs fixes or updates.

Like/Comment on/Share Devlogs: those logs have a Tab similar to the main page where the most popular ones are more visible. You can like the logs on that log's page or in your feed if you follow that author; share directly on twitter/facebook (or copy paste the link to whatever platform); or comment on the page (if available).

Interact in the Community tab: a.k.a. Itch's forum. Discuss, review or recommend games there!

CoG Forums

Specifically for CScript games posted on Dashingdon or posted through CoG/HostedGames. Used for feedback, coding questions, writing questions... for CScript games.

Authors can create threads where the game can be discussed by other users. The thread locks itself automatically after 60 days since the last comment or if the author requests it.

As far as I know (not my preferred platform tbh), there are no rating systems on CoG. Games with payable content can be rated on other platforms (can be seen at the bottom of the page).

IFDB/IF Community Forum

IFDB - Interactive Fiction DataBase

As the name implies, the website works as a sort of archive/database for IF works. There are over 11k games (ongoing/completed) listed. Reviewing and Commenting is fairly easy. You can also put a game on your wishlist or indicate whether you've played it.

Rating is a one click job: on the amount of stars you want to give. And that's it!

Reviewing looks a bit more complicated at first, but I promise it's not too hard! The review link will send you to another page, where you will be asked to enter your comments about the game, add a title and optionally tag it. When you are done, click on the preview button at the bottom of the page. You get to review how your comment will look before publishing it (see below)

You can also create polls or participate in one, join a club, browse other reviews and game listings, etc...

IF Community Forum

Very similar to the CoG forum, but is open to other programs (Twine, Inform, Renpy...) and all sorts of IF (text base, VN, parser...). You can find help for coding or writing, talk about games you like....

There are special categories to review IF games or recommend some to other users.

As with every Forum communities, please be mindful of the rules of said forum before posting!

Steam

Thank you @pomegranate-cuties for the reminder.

If a game is to be published on Steam, adding it to your wishlist will increase its visibility before and on release.

You have the possibility to:

leave reviews and comments (SUPER IMPORTANT)

post screenshot or fanart

create guides and walkthroughs for other users.

interact in the community tab

Other platforms

If the project is hosted on other platforms, simply check if their page allows for rating/review, and get cracking!

Other Non-Monetary Support

Share game with friends/other websites

Words-of-mouth is a great way to help a game get more attention. And if one person talks to another person who talks to another person... that's already 3 more players right there :D

Talk about your favourite IF with your friends, or family. Mention it to acquaintances or people who you think might enjoy it.

If you'd rather avoid sharing your love to people you know IRL, you can always post about it on other platforms than the ones above. Talk about the game on websites like Reddit (there are IF communities there, albeit not very large), Twitter (if it survives, lol), Discord Servers, Forums, etc...

Obviously, don't spam people. That might reflect badly on the author.

Do Streaming Parties!

This comes with the caveat of: with the permission of the author.

Doing Let's Plays of games or discussing IF works on streams might be another good way to introduce more people to games you enjoy. This can give a different life to the work, especially if you actually read the text aloud and do voices. This way it can let the work even speak for itself.

Platforms like YouTube or Twitch are relatively helpful to set streaming up. Though you may require some specific hardware to run it.

If you plan on streaming a game, do ask the author beforehand.

Monetary support

If you can afford it or if your budget allows it, you can consider supporting your favourite author(s) with real money! You may get extra content or special features (ex: alpha release) for doing so.

Below are a few ways I've seen being used, but the best way is to follow the author's links/preferrence.

Tumblr: Tips/Subscriptions

This is a new functionality (2022), where you can now subscribe or tip a creator for their posts.

Note: Tumblr takes 5% commission on subscription but 0% on tips.

Patreon/Tipee

I think everyone knows about Pateron by now. Tipee if the European version of Patreon. They work the same way.

Note: Patreon charged your account when you sign up and on the 1st of every month + takes 9-12% commission on monthly income. Tipee is 8%.

Kofi

Another tipping platform (with less fees for the creator). Also used often for commissions.

Note: Kofi takes 0% to 5% commission + 3-4% from the payment processor.

Paypal/CashApp/Venmo/etc...

Another way to tip your author or pay for commission. Commission depends per platform.

Pay as you want/Donation Button Itch

Some authors have left the option to pay as much as you want or have a donation button on their game's page. You can donate/pay for the game this was as well!

Note: Itch takes a 10% commission on each sale EXCEPT on Creator's day (2/3 times a year).

ADDENDUM

Reblog posts to make them travel.

The images above are the Reblog Graph (Tumblr Lab Function), that shows part of the 100-ish reblog the intro post for my game @crimsonroseandwhitelily got since last year (original is the small red dot) and the one for the 80-ish reblogs of this post as of this edit (22 Aug 2022).

In the first one: there are a few branches that made that post travel and reach users who do not follow me but may have read the post and played the game. In the second, even if it has less reblogs, it has longer branches, showing how much it has travelled on this website. Note: a shame they don't have a function with likes too... That'd be useful.

[iantimony]

a day late because yesterday i was tooooo busy! some spoilers in here for dungeon meshi and saltburn!

listening: mostly background stuff. i still haven't played more nier: automata but the boyf got me listening to the soundtrack and it whips.

reading: more tgcf at night to soothe my frenzied brain to sleep. i finished dungeon meshi yesterday!! i did cry!!! it was so, so good, i loved it. i really liked that there was no set antagonist, per se, at least not until the very end with the fight against the winged lion, it was all just a bunch of characters with different but justifiable goals that had their aims all butting up against each other. very cool. i love kabru what a little shit

a collection of some good screenshots:

watching: many things this week. my partner is visiting for the week and we like to have videos on while we're cooking n eating so we watched...essentially the entirety of weird history food channel, started with the trader joes one and spiraled from there.

we also watched the currently-released episodes of dungeon meshi. very charming. i cannot wait to see how they animate certain scenes.

on sunday night we did a friend dinner, so me and my boyfriend, roommate and hers, and one other friend; after dinner we movie night-ed it and watched saltburn and blazing saddles:

saltburn was insane! apparently there is shock and alarm at the sex scenes, which i am not very online about it so i have no idea what people are actually saying but imo it was not that crazy. there is a solo, uh, let's call it Moment towards the end of the film that is pretty out there, but besides that the sex scenes are the least of anyone's worries in this movie. it took me WAY too long to realize that the main character was the antagonist, i'm normally pretty savvy to those kinds of twists so that took me off guard. my roommate had seen it once (or even twice?? i think?? i have no wish to watch that movie again, good for her though) and i didn't start clocking it until immediately before felix tricked oliver into going home. as they were in the car i was like "there's no fucking way that he lied about his family to felix. right. right??" oops. some good cool symbolism in there, i had a bit of an xkcd "of course everyone knows this myth" moment when my roommate was like "huh i wonder if there's a symbolic reason for the bull-man statue in the maze at the end, or felix's angel wing costume" and i was like surprise pikachu. the minotaur, the labyrinth, icarus, hello? wdym you don't know the story of the minotaur??? much to think about with this movie. i searched it on tumblr and feel like a lot of people missed the point in favor of blorbo romance but like, fair, it is the blorbo romance website. 8.5/10.

blazing saddles was our palette cleanser after that doozy of a film. my friend said at the end "anyone who thinks this movie is racist needs better media literacy" and i'm inclined to agree. yes the n word is in there - but the people saying it are so unambiguously depicted as insanely stupid and wrong, and the leading man is a charismatic handsome black man, and tbh the smartest person in the movie? arguably more homophobic (the end scenes) than racist but even then the way 'f*ggot' is deployed hit me like modern tumblr humor.

idk. even though it's a comedy it is Very clear to me that a message from this movie is "Racism Bad". i thought it was fun, didn't find the blonde lady's musical number very good or funny, got a few chuckles out of it overall. classic mel brooks. 7/10.

playing: wizord101.

making: started experimenting with english paper piecing! i forgot to take a picture yesterday so ill try to remember and add that later today. or maybe for next week's post. also started a pair of fingerless gloves for my mom

eating: my boy made us all a budae-jjigae type object on sunday and it was so so so yummy - photo from before simmering for like 30 minutes, with pork belly, spam, tofu, and a bunch of mushrooms, grunions, and kimchi:

before my roommate came back from a conference we did this cabbage and thin-sliced hotpot beef thing that was. so fucking good. we had it two separate nights in a row. just layering meat and napa cabbage and then cutting into ~2in strips, laying them in a pot, filling the center with mushrooms; make a broth of soy sauce/dashi/misc soup stock powder from leftover ramen, pour it over, simmer til cooked baby. delicious. this image is a little steamy bc i tried to take it right after opening the pot, lol

misc: wough. struggling to get back into the routine a little. i need to make more spreadsheets for my agonies (apartment hunting and determining what internships/programs to apply to for this summer). and i need to start using my planner again because i keep forgetting to do shit.

[hitaka5ever]

With Twitter finally dead (it should've died months ago but I digress) Twitter peeps are coming back, so I want to suggest some things for a lot of the art folks returning (but only if you want to)

Tag your art posts as #my art so its easier to find your art on your blog

Please make reblogging art posts a habit instead of just liking them. Tumblr doesn't use stupid algorithms, you and everyone that follows you can only see things if you reblog them. The only good thing likes are for is making people feel good. Otherwise they help no one get seen

Make an art blog for people who are only interested in seeing art and not personal stuff. Its super simple to make a side-blog and to change which blog to post stuff to (the only downside is remembering to switch to your personal)

Tag your art posts well. There used to be a "1st 5 tags appear in tag search" feature, but they've bumped them all the way to 30 (last I heard was a few months ago, so idk if that's changed since then) Only tag with relevant information, otherwise you will be reported for spam

Please share artists' commission posts when you see them. With Artificial Images (AI) taking over, real artists are struggling to keep going. For many, art is the only way they can make money bc of disabilities. Support marginalized groups by sharing their commission posts and art

Some people are okay with you tagging them in your OG posts. If you're not sure a user is fine with it, put "please ask to untag". Its not super common practice yet, but it has helped. Feel free to tag me in your posts bc as a struggling artist with no job myself, I want to help others as much as I can, and I will always reblog and Q up art posts (bc post limit (upoading, reblogging, and answering public Asks) is 250)

If you love an artist's work and want to see MORE of it, then you have to reblog it. Leave comments in their replies (if they have them open) and tags to show artists that people still love them and their beautiful works of art. A nice comment goes a LONG way for a lot of folks!

If an artist has merch, Tumblr has an Artist Alley for you to view and buy things from your favorite crafters and traditional artists (if anyone knows the correct tags to use, please let me know so I can add them here)

Feel free to add to this list, as I'm sure I'm missing things

PS: If there are people that aren't kind and humble, just block them, don't engage. You'll have a far better blogging experience if you do this. If someone is tearing down your art bc they're jealous twats, always block. Just be kind to people on here and ignore shitheads

Edit: Changed the wording to not put pressure on anyone since ultimately you get to decide what to do with your blog 👍🏻

[insomniamamma]

Stuck: Ezra x f!Reader

A/N: This is written for @littleferal ‘s Writer’s Iron Chef. The prompt was “Half the names on the list have already been crossed off.“ A chance meeting on Hanratty’s Bench may lead to better things. This is an one-shot and not connected to any of my other Prospect AUs.

Warnings: brief non-descript mention of suicide. language. references to past violence. alcohol mentions.

          Every day is the same old same old, wake and scan the boards, hoping for something other than a three-day drop downworld, mining salt with a suited crew of fellow short timers, everyone hoping to make enough to buy passage damn near anywhere else, make enough over bench-scrip to C conversion. They've got you by the short and curlies unless you can get in good with a non-local outfit. There are a couple crews you know, making the circuit between here and Arlen, a simple two-sling swing, round and round about, but that would be better than here. Anything would. Get on a ship, even a small hauler and you've got more chance at something better. But you always seem to get passed by. You're starting to wonder if you're going to spend the rest of your days on this grimy bench, unloading cargo cans for just enough scrip to feed you and buy booze enough to keep you from marching yourself into the nearest airlock and hot-wiring that son of a bitch.          According to the boards a big intersystem cruiser is due to dock, the kind that travels far enough to fly under spin, to make grav enough so people can survive long term,  something that can get you out of here. You set three alarms. You want to be the first to hit the boards and start spamming your credentials, such as they are. Being a janitor on an intersystemer still gets you the fuck out of Hanratty's System, and now that's all you really want. Fame and fortune and all the things you thought you wanted when you first went offworld be damned. You have to look at someplace else or you will go insane.          Your alarm trills and you are making your way down the ring and to the boards before you are even properly awake. You log yourself in.          "What the fuck? Half the names on the list are already crossed off!" You yell without meaning to, tears prick your eyes, you go about sending your info the the dwindling list of crews looking to take on another. Fuck. You won't get another chance in who knows how long? This system is not exactly prime real estate. No one is responding, no one is pinging you back. Not entirely unexpected but it still hurts. How many long-liners have to pass through this dump before you accept that you're stuck here? That you've marooned yourself? All for the promise of somewhere better?          "Excuse me, miss?" A voice soft and low over your shoulder, and you whirl on him, all the tension expending itself and he raises his hands, one flesh and one articulated metal.          "I didn't mean to scare you, but I think we may be drinking from the same trough." He is smiling and pretty, and you don't trust him. You drop your hand to the thrower on your hip.          "How so?"          "Not one to mince words are you, Birdie? If you are demanding a blunt assessment I will give it to you. You are fresh out of a well, stuck on a shit-splat of a bench with few skills and no prospects. You have the strength of your body and mind on offer. And precious little else." He shrugs theatrically. "As you can see, I am diminished. I lost much of my fine motor control when I had to lose my arm."          "You're looking for clever hands."          "I am."          "And what do I get? Besides off this miserable low g hellhole?"          "You get the whole of the Great Arm if Kevva smiles upon us."          "Liar." He grins at you.          "On occasion," he says, "Look. You want off this little patch of nowhere, and I have had difficulty finding reliable crew. I've got three drops lined up along the intersystemer's flight path. You sign on with me for those three drops and we renegotiate when we reach Puggart Bench. If you find the work not to your liking we'll part ways there. Or you can wait and see how this plays out." He gestures at the rapidly diminishing  list of crew slots and offers.          "Say I sign. What's my cut?"          "Even split."          "You're trying to scam me. Or trick me. No one offers an even split." He smiles but there is a tiredness to it, a sadness.          "My days of arguing over every point on every pull are done," he says, "In the end all that gets you is crewmates willing to slit your throat in your sleep. Or leave you stranded on some Kevva forsaken rock."          "You know what it's like to be stuck."          "I do."          "Alright, I'm in," you say and offer your hand. His prosthetic hand folds stiffly around yours. "Three drops. And then we see where we stand."          "Three drops," he smiles big and bright, showing dimples in his scruffy cheeks, "I'm Ezra, by the way. Don't think I caught your name, Little Bird."

[emcscared-whumps]

WiJ 2022 - 01: (Re)introduce Yourself

WiJ 2022 Navigation Post

Intro!!

Hi, I'm emc, and I write whump of original characters in original settings! I've had this blog since some time in August last year (2021), and in these short few months, I've come a long way in the whump community. Everyone I've met here is wonderful and friendly and I've enjoyed every second of whumpblr and whump discord.

I've had at least a vague awareness about my taste for (fictional) blood since I was a kid around 5 or 6, but I first remember seeking the whumperflies in my teens (I'll get more into that in tomorrow's post :3c), and later still, I discovered Whumpblr posts through Pintrest, and joined a whump discord server a few years later, and then made this blog a year after that ^-^' . Getting into whump is the best thing I've ever done tbh, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

(I can now run off whump derived dopamine instead of trying to be happy!! /j/j/j/j)

Some fun facts are... I'm Australian, I do karate, I'm in the Danny Phantom fandom, I have an interest in cutting gems and other semiprecious stones, I have three cats, I love plants and gardening, and my favourite colour is unironically a deep, cool red. I also draw!

Project Updates!

Since joining the community, I have made tremendous progress on my nearest and dearest project Shifting Phases! Not only do I now have a rough idea of how to get everyone to the end scenes, I've actually started writing it!!! I'm super excited! I want to get it beta read in its entirety before I post it though, so it's a long way off yet. (As a byproduct, this means that I'll never post the fic unfinished lmao)

This story has spawned an AU that somehow manages to be darker. It's still in the ideation phases (brainrot spam to all of my whump friends on discord, rip them), so it'll be a little while before you see much posted about this one :3

My friend I recently made a lot of progress on Satanus Magus! We have basically the whole plot figured out, it just needs to be beefed up with some scenes. I look forward to writing that all out in the word doc void :)

My friend and I actually hope to publish this irl one day, so, That's A Thing!

It's an older idea of mine, it spawned in around 2018... But getting out of school and into this community has really boosted my creativity (bouncing ideas around is a powerful tool). It's like an action movie, but instead of guns and explosions, it's elemental magic and explosions!! It's not an outright whumpy fic, but ofc bc I'm involved, there are definitely a lot of whump themes.

Lastly, I have a new fic idea kicking around in my head involving a vampire and a human. It's still veeeerrryyy early days for it, but I'm already in love with the concept, and I have been sorely lacking in vampire whump for many years. I look forward to working with Malté and Corwin >:3c though I'm sure the same eagerness is not extended back -rubs my evil little handses together-

My Favourite Whump Tropes! Oh man...

Collapse

Especially when they try and fail to get up again

A whumpee getting tangled and/or ensnared in something they can't get out of

A painful mobility impairment as a result of a traumatic injury

Delirium and panic where they don’t recognise their friend/caretaker, maybe they’re waking up from a nightmare, and they lash out at their friend/caretaker-- most fun with nightmares/night terrors ;DD

I'm recently getting into fucked up mental health shit >:)

Ab00se (but like, not romantic relationships)

Nonhuman whumpees (mer and vampire/demon whumpees are where it's at tbh)

Painful transformation (and the aftermath, especially if the whumpee ends up Different than they were Before)

Bonus points for terrified, horrified, and very uncoordinated bb getting used to their new body and having an awful time

Secret based whump where bad things happen if anyone ever finds out whumpee's secret

An injury jeopardising the secret-- the secret needs to be revealed it to treat the injury

A whumpee going stupidly far to hide a secret, leading to a dramatic collapse and injury/scar reveal :D

A secret reveal gone badly never fails to give me whumperflies <3

I love it when circumstances are what leads to the whump. Not all of my whumpees have whumpers at all times, and where the whump comes from often fluctuates, but a common theme of my works is that the whump is primarily a product of circumstance that enables my characters to be whumped, whether by another person (whumper), or otherwise.

A happy, or at the very least, a bittersweet ending

#These are a few of my favourite things#

Also, Tumblr just fucking ate this draft when I was 99% done, and I was a fool who did not frequently save, and now I'm starting from nothing but a (shit) memory so... I'm not angy, I'm just sad and tired lol, apologies if there're any dumb phrasing/grammatical errors lol I can't even think straight anymore gkjdhfg

(The beta post editor may be easier on my poor eyes, but It has a habit of eating things on occasion...)

@whumpmasinjuly

[first-digi-add]

Importance of Google Reviews and How can I do When it’s Disappearing?

As a small business owner, I get excited when I get that email notification exclaiming that our great new customer has given us a 5-star review on our Google business profile page. It's a great feeling for our Digital Marketing Company to know that we've done a great job and that our customers loved our services and want to tell everyone how great our business is. If you don't receive online reviews for your business, don't be afraid to ask customers to leave an honest review on your Google business profile page.

Can I Retrieve the Missing Google My Business Reviews?

Unfortunately, once Google removed a review from their Google business profile page, it was gone forever. There is no way to get it back. Instead of worrying about missing reviews, concentrate on getting new 5-star reviews! 

Small and medium-sized businesses heavily rely on Google My Business reviews to promote their brand and attract new customers. Your customers want to express how great your products and services are to them.

But if you received a five-star review, only to find it missing a few weeks later, don't worry. Disappearing reviews can be a drag on your business, after all, no one likes their hard-earned reviews disappearing.

 Reasons a Google Company Profile Review may be Missing

While Google doesn't describe every aspect of its spam detection algorithm, it does provide specific guidelines for Google review content. If a Google review was removed from your business page, ask yourself the following questions to determine why the review was removed from your Google business profile. Google will remove reviews that violate its review content guidelines.

1. Did the Review Include a Phone Number?

A phone number in the review is a big trigger for potential spam. It is not necessary to have a phone number in a review.

2. Was the Review Published Elsewhere on the Internet?

If the same review appears on Facebook, Yelp, or a "testimonials" page on your website, the duplicate review on your Google My Business page may be removed. Isn't it great when your customers love you SO much they want to tell everyone how great you are?!?! Here's the downside: Unless the customer writes unique reviews on each review website, they may risk multiple reviews being removed, not just on Google Business Profile.

3. Is the Reviewer an Admin of your Google My Business Account or Google+ Page?

If an administrator of the company's Google accounts writes a review, Google could consider it a conflict of interest. Generally, the person who manages your Google My Business account is not a customer. He is likely to be an employee or a service provider. Feedback must be left by customers.

4. Check if the Reviewer Removed their Reviews

Your customers can remove their reviews from Google My Business at their discretion. As a brand, you need to work harder to make sure your customers keep their words and their comments about your page.

5. Did you Suddenly See a Huge Influx of reviews?

It is pretty normal for large-scale brands to have a few new reviews every week. But if you're a small or medium-sized business that receives hundreds or thousands of reviews in a significantly short period of time, that can set off Google's spam alerts.

6. Receive Google Reviews from the Same IP Address

Many businesses offer free WiFi for their customers and encourage them to post reviews on Google for their business. Google notes that if a customer is connected to the same IP address from which the Google listing is managed, reviews are often not displayed.

7 . Copy and Paste the Reviews

Your Google reviews may be leaked if you are just copying and pasting or having someone copy and paste from a third-party website or other profiles.

 8. A Sudden Spike in Google My Business Reviews.

Some people do Google review campaigns to increase their Google My Business reviews and I know many people who still do this and don't recommend it.

 How can you Retrieve Missing Reviews that have been Filtered Out by Google?

In most cases, Google does not reset reviews. But if you have genuine Google reviews filtered by Google, you can request to have the reviews reinstated by submitting a reason in the Google Business Profile forum. 

When you submit a request, please be sure to include the following details, if possible, along with why you're writing for Google.

How many Google reviews have disappeared?

The date they stayed.

The names of the customers who left comments.

Screenshots of missing reviews

I hope you have clearly understood why your Google business reviews are not showing up. Thanks for your time. If you found this article helpful, please comment "yes" in the comments section below.

[emmasether]

strangers

words: 7.4k

chapter 3: a little death.

"NO," KATSUKI SAID. The humid summer made Aizawa's office feel like a sweatbox, (not particularly safe given his quirk, first quirk, now, apparently) the air conditioning was broken in the Teaching Department. The leather couch he sat on burned from its place by the window, soaking in the sunlight. Aizawa's desk was covered from corner to corner with folders and stacks of papers. Just the sight of his disorganization irritated Katsuki.

"This isn't a negotiation, Bakugou. Let me make this clear," Aizawa set his pen down on the many assignments he had to mark and leaned on his desk as if to get serious. "In order to maintain the safety of all students-"

"Oh, so now I'm a goddamn safety hazard?"

"Listen.  I won't say it again," he sharply cut in. "For your safety, and everyone else who goes to UA, we make sure we have background checks on all our staff and student's quirks. Midoriya was a special case because All Might vouched for him, but we still keep a close eye on him nonetheless. He'd never harm anyone intentionally, but that doesn't mean he won't lose control."

"I can control my own quirk fucking perfectly," Katsuki spat, offended.

"You're explosions, yes, I don't need convincing of that. But now you've inherited another quirk, and from your student file we know that it didn't come from any other relative of your family line, so this came from an outside force." Aizawa looked at him with knowing eyes.

Katsuki shifted uncomfortably. "I already told the cops and the principal, I don't remember a damn thing," he mumbled.

"And I believe you," Aizawa hardened his gaze, "but still, your guess is as good as mine. You're a bright kid, Bakugou, surely you have some idea of how this might've happened."

Katsuki spoke under his breath. "I can think of a few ways."

Aizawa nodded, satisfied for the time being. "We don't know anything about this quirk, neither do you, that's dangerous. We need to experiment with it so you can get a grip on it before you return to class as normal."

Katsuki felt a sickening stir in his gut. He didn't want anything to do with this, why couldn't things just be as they were before? Why did things have to change? He's had more than enough change to last a lifetime.

"This is bullshit..."

"It's necessary," Aizawa spoke with composure, which was odd to Katsuki, usually this is where people say he's overreacting or brush him off. "I'm not singling you out, Bakugou, this is the procedure we use for all students in the case where their quirks change drastically. And it's for your safety first and foremost. You fainted yesterday out of nowhere, remember that?" Katsuki only grumbled. Aizawa huffed. "Listen. You can find out what this thing is and work at it as hard as you work at everything else, and then you'd have another quirk at your disposal. Or you can leave it unchecked and put yourself and those around you at risk, but if that's what you choose, you can't do it at this school."

Katsuki's head snapped up from its view of the floor to level with him. Was he being serious? They'd really expel him? They'd have to? A tiny fragment of Katsuki indulges in fear and the experiences he wished he never had, and the feeling of airways closing, and a burning hand on his neck that he can't shake. That part wanted to run like hell, but it is demolished by the rest of him that has always wanted to fight and win. It has always been the very best and worst of him.

It's a simple decision, he thought, does the good of UA, of being a hero outweigh the bad. Is the cost too high? A month ago he'd laugh at a question like that, but now, in truth, Katsuki didn't know the answer anymore. He made a decision anyway.

"Fine."

——

THE "BAKUSQUAD" (as those four idiots declared themselves) spammed the group chat Kirishima had politely forced him into all day. Asking where he was, and what had happened. Apparently blowing half the class off their feet was still news a day later. And his absence, which was a one-in-a-million-rarity as Sero put it, made people only more suspicious. They bombarded the chat with that Lost Bitchass Dog meme he thought was so idiotic it was funny. For a while then it was just them talking about whether or not they should break into his room and steal him, which Kaminari advised against. A faint smile rose before he shut his phone off and went back to wallowing.

Katsuki was trapped in the dorms for the rest of the evening, staring at the cream-white ceiling while his classmates were in their study sessions and planned hangouts. He has to wait for his scheduled time with Aizawa tomorrow before class (which he wouldn't even be attending, to his eternal rage). Although he was curious about the recently discovered quirk, most of the curiosity came from the desperate need to know what happened to him while he was away in that bar he could barely remember, that he could only see passing flashes of in moments.

But he wasn't looking forward to training, he wasn't thrilled with the idea of another quirk being bestowed on him, although he guessed most people would love it, and most people probably would expect him to if they found out. When they find out. This second quirk was more of an invasion, something that didn't belong. Didn't feel like his own. Didn't come with the same pride that his explosions did, knowing that he worked to evolve them to the scale and accuracy they were at now. This felt like a cheat. Hated not earning a win. If it's not fair what's the point? What's the point of anything if it's not done honestly?

"This'll be the only time," he said to the ceiling, "then I'm done with this thing for good."

Katsuki thought about the night of the storm and the sludge villain, the training camp and Kamino. His blood boiled. Clenching his jaw in a sudden wave of bottled-up frustration and anger, he reached behind him ripping the pillow from under his head and threw it. He fell flat on his back with the palms of his hands pressed to his eyes.

Done with all of this shit for good.

——

SHOUTO HAD BEEN up for hours and now bounced his leg restlessly at his desk as the clock struck 1 AM. Google proved to be an unreliable research method for top-secret pro hero investigating. Aside from his own media coverage and the insane amount on his father, there was absolutely nothing on any other Todoroki relating to their family. Not one article, or one photo. His father had kept their family out of the media their entire lives. The only sources online about them were from public hero and UA events, alongside the Endeavor's feats and losses. There was not even a single footprint left of Todoroki Touya on the internet, the clean one at least. But Shouto wasn't sure if infecting his computer with viruses on the dark web was the right way about attaining the information he was looking for.

As he got older, Shouto used to think that the way no one questioned Touya's disappearance was temporary, that the whole thing would blow up, it was just a matter of when. But it never did, over ten years passed and his life remained stagnated. But now it made sense to him, Father took Touya out of school, so they couldn't call home or the police to report him missing. Being homeschooled and not let out of the house meant that Touya lost contact with a good amount of his friends, and maybe they thought he moved since all the kids were never allowed to invite anyone over. They had a private family doctor that came to their home personally unless one of them had to go to the ER, which to Shouto's strongest recollection, has never happened until his burn.

Why didn't their doctor say anything? Why didn't Mom or Father? Why did they all pretend it was normal? Why didn't they try to get him back? Sure they had family friends looking, sure his old man went out, but you don't stop there when a child is missing. You involve the police.

So why?

The memory of Touya's bandages cursed his mind.

"No," he shook his head. He couldn't consider that, even for a second. Their father was awful, but he wouldn't go so far as to... he just wouldn't. He's our father, Shouto thought. What's the worst that could've happened? Maybe he didn't run away? Maybe Father abandoned him? Abandon his own son... possibly. But still, Touya was only eleven, and the worst he ever did to Fuyumi and Natsuo was stop talking to them when he rejected them.

None of it made sense to him, he needed something to go on, something that would actually help point him in the right direction as to where he should start looking. He considered asking Mom for a moment but quickly dismissed it, not wanting to do anything to hurt her or bring up any bad memories. She has already taken more than her fair share of torture this family had to offer, and he didn't want to burden her with making her remember how she lost her eldest child. "Ah," Shouto effortlessly gasped in dull realization.

Touya wouldn't even be a child anymore, wherever he is, he'd be in his twenties now...

Not knowing was killing him.

After hours of extensive and pointless research, Shouto gave up on public online sources and came up with a very bad idea. So bad it just might work.

He opened his contacts on his phone and called Yaoyorozu, whose voice was concerned and groggy from the speaker.

"I need your help."

——

KATSUKI THRASHED IN his sleep.

"This is useless, when's it gonna be my turn?!" the blonde whined, she couldn't have been much older than himself. He couldn't remember her name, and her face was a bit of a blur, in fact, he couldn't see any detail in anything, it was like his vision was going in and out of focus, and oddly enough so were his senses. He couldn't smell anything or feel the binds that tied him, but he could feel goosebumps all over his skin and a desperate need to run and get out of the dim, freezing room. Get out of the hard chair and free his hands, but he couldn't move. All he felt was gravity work against him moving invisible walls closer to him, and the struggle of not getting enough air in his lungs. I gotta run...

But you can't do that, they'll kill you. They'll KILL you and this hellhole will be the last thing you ever see. Just shut up and be calm. They're coming to get you, someone is coming to get you.

The others ignored the girl and he could hear her mumbling complaints while stabbing what he imagined was the bar, he heard splinters of wood chipping away, scratching and snapping as the blade went back down with more force each time. "I need to cut, Boss, let me go get someone if I can't have him," she pleaded almost like a child begging when passing the ice cream truck or seeing a toy in the glass display while window shopping.

"For the last time ◼️," a name escaped him, softly faded. No, not faded... smothered, that was the word. Like sound entering a vacuum and diminishing. "We have to keep a low profile until things cool down unless you wanna leave a damn breadcrumb trail right to the fucking door."

"You're no fun," she sulked.

"On the contrary, ◼️," the supposed leader of the villains said, all Katsuki could see was the hand that hung on his face, but behind it, he saw nothing but darkness. A darkness that looked so hallow and cold and apathetic.

It was like staring into an empty body, void of anything human or real, where hatred sharpens its claws and waits for kids like him to walk forward, out of the light and into the shadows. It was a place, a thing that grabbed you by the neck and took you away forever, where no one came looking, where no one found abducted heroes in training. Disappearing just like him, helpless until help arrived. If help arrived. Katsuki had faced death before, but not like this, not (every showing of teeth is a smile, Bakugou) this honest. This was the epiphany of the real world stripped of heroes and Symbols of Peace and UA and tournaments, this was something that slipped through its cracks. It was insanity looking back at him. Insanity saying come over here with us. We like to hunt. We like to win. You like to win too, right?

They talked for a while, Katsuki stayed silent, half scared to open his mouth and say something that would trigger the wrong reaction from them, and half just plain scared. He had no concept of time, but being there felt endless. In the most serene way possible, he didn't cooperate with them, and he saw how the man with all the hand's patience was withering away. That is what scared him the most, these people, at least most of them from what he can tell, are not rational. They will be tactical in convincing him to join their definitive terrorist group but when they get frustrated it may turn into something else. This leader may lose sight of the goal and decide it's better to just take his anger out on their hostage. He was like a child that broke his toys when throwing a tantrum, and with all the hazardous and painful quirks they had, breaking him could prove to be far beyond a living nightmare.

He watched the man pull his hair and scratch his neck until he drew blood, and grit his teeth, wanting to look away, to see anything else, but he couldn't close his eyes. He couldn't feel anything that seemed to be physically there. Wasn't anyone coming? Won't someone come before they get bored of talking? Before they try plan B? The boss stepped closer and reached out his hand with one finger tucked away.  Don't touch me. He never spoke out loud, but somehow the boss must've heard him. He made a disgusting sound that might've been a laugh, or at least an attempt at one.

"Don't worry, Bakugou," he said and signalled to a man in a grey and black mask behind him, he argued about nonsense with himself and left the room. "We're not going to kill you." In came the villain with two other people he instantly recognized, but still unable to process the idea of them being here. For the first time, he felt something real. He felt his heart pound and a bilious storm in his stomach coming up. "After all, there are things worse than death."

The rest was a blur, nothing was clear but the feeling of loss and horror and nausea. As he woke up hyperventilating and sweating, thinking he might throw up he threw the covers off himself, which felt like being trapped in a sauna and ran for the bathroom. But by the time he got there his body had begun to calm down. He sat on the cold tiled floor, shuttering, confused and afraid. This time, in the hysteria of the moment he wished for the life of him not to remember, god, please don't make me remember.

Katsuki aggressively buried his hands in his hair and bit down on his lip in panic, to keep whatever was trying to escape from him in. He tried to hold down the sob, but he couldn't breathe, his throat was closing in, it felt like dying.

——

A COUPLE OF hours later just as the sun crept through the blinds, Katsuki buried himself in all the distractions that can be found in his room, dark circles under his eyes and a throat as dry as sandpaper. Aizawa waited for him in the empty training grounds, but he had made up his mind.

——

SHOUTO MET UP with Yaoyorozu (who decided to bring Mina along, to his blank-faced surprise) early in the morning outside of the Teaching Department. Dawn was slowly enlightening the darkness that masked the pavement, and their shadows slowly began to take shape.

"Can't believe we're breaking into a school facility, I'd expect this of Kaminari and Sero, but not our top students!" Mina quietly squealed. "This is so exciting!"

"It's not like you haven't done anything like this before, you do know the entire dorm heard you guys sneak out last night, right?" Todoroki deadpanned, turning to Yaoyorozu.

"The Bakusquad will not be leashed!" she raised her voice, only to be hushed by the other two.

"Did you read the instructions I sent you?" Todoroki asked.

"Yes, alarm system triggers and office locks, doorknobs and plain wooden doors. I also brought high sugar and fat count snacks in case we needed to make extra."  Yaoyorozu nodded. "But Todoroki, I don't understand why we're doing this. If we are caught-"

"We won't get caught," Shouto assured her.

"Yeah," Mina budded in, "Aizawa is usually still, like, eighty percent asleep when he gets to class! There's no way he'd be up now. Plus... all the lights are out! It's gotta be empty..."

Yaoyorozu fiddled with her fingers, biting her cheek as she always did, Shouto noticed, when nervously contemplating something. She skeptically frowned at her feet before pouting, "We could be punished with suspension... or expulsion... I've never- I mean I've never done... gotten into... " Mina snaked an arm around her torso and hugged her side both cheerfully and sincerely.

"Don't sweat it, Momo! If things go south I'll take your blame, Aizawa-Sensei expects some troublemaking from me already so he might just let me off with detention or something!" Mina laughed. She hesitated for a moment before nodding with a small polite smile.

Shouto pulled the pocket-sized flashlight out of his pocket, peaked his head around the corner to the front entrance of the building before turning back to the girls. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this, Yaoyorozu, and you Mina by extension," Shouto apologizes.

"I volunteered for this when I saw Momo sneaking out!"

Shouto continued, "I wouldn't ask this of you if it wasn't important."

Yaoyorozu kept her head up and spoke with a bit more determination. "I know you said not to ask any questions earlier, so... it must be personal, right? If it's this important to you that you would go as far as to breaking rules with consequences like suspension, I want to help."

Mina pulled a black handkerchief tied at her neck over her face all the way up to her nose, and tied some scarf-like cloth with a sewn-on plastic board around her forehead. "Alright then. Operation Naruto Stealth Raid has commenced!"

Na-ru-to? Shouto thought curiously at a complete and utter loss.

He shrugged it off and poked his head back around the corner to get a visual of the security cameras in the front, there were two. Shouto placed his right hand on the stone wall, sprouting a thin trail of ice as it travelled up the wall and split into two paths towards both cameras before covering them just enough to probably make their vision too blurry to see their figures.

"Where's your headband? I thought we were doing this together!" He heard Mina whisper-yell as he hand signalled for them to come to the front doors.

"I thought I would look... silly."

They stood at the front entrance. Shouto observed the small piece of camouflaged tech which he assumed was the security trigger at the bottom of the door.

"I was just going to burn it until it melted," he turned to Mina, "but your acid would be a lot faster."

"Don't mind if I do." She came forward and crouched on the ground, pinching her fingers together, close range at the trigger before shooting the acid. "A new technique I developed, pretty cool, huh?" she beamed.

"Yes! It's very punctilious," Yaoyorozu whispered back.

"What?" Mina asked. Shouto shrugged his shoulders.

The acid burned the trigger until it was nothing but a few sparkles on the ground. The door unlocked and to the credit of his hypothesis and all their luck, no alarm sounded when he pushed open the door. Unless it was a silent alarm, in that case, they were toast. Shouto placed his left hand now on the wall and melted the ice over the outdoor cameras away now that the girls were inside, he followed as heated water dripped to the cement below. Yaoyorozu quickly replicated the trigger from her calf and placed it back on the door. And the students quickly made their way through the building with the guidance of the flashlight. When they reached Aizawa's office Mina burned the lock and doorknob off while Yaoyorozu replicated new ones as well.

Shouto pushed the now unlocked door gently, leaving it ajar for a moment. He looked back at the other two.

"Do you mind if-"

"We'll wait out here, Todoroki-kun, it's fine," Mina nodded.

He hadn't expected both of them to be so natural and understanding about all of this, asking almost no questions as to why they were breaking into their teacher's office so he could snoop around. But he felt very grateful to have such considerate classmates. He just couldn't tell them about any of this, he probably couldn't force the words up his throat even if he wanted to. He risked it once on the day of the Sports Festival when he was filled to the top with nothing but quiet rage, spilling his secret to Midoriya. Now that it was gone and he had calmed down on the revenge scheme all these months later, he had nothing to hide behind.

Anger was a nice mask, a nice way to cope, he thought, what's beneath it was a lot more ugly. It felt like hollow darkness, like a hole you could fall forever in. He couldn't describe it specifically in words, it just was, and it lingered always. He could feel it when he saw the curiosity in Yaoyorozu's eyes when they met up.

Regardless, there were simply just words that would tear you apart to say out loud.

Shouto entered the office, trying to be as quiet as a mouse as he walked across the room looking for the 1-A student files with the flashlight, but dim beams of orange were slowly seeping through the cracks of the blinds, so soon he wouldn't need it. It also meant soon he'd be out of time and the staff would come in to start their shifts. He spotted a silver filing cabinet by the desk and squatted in front of it. It was labelled 1-A Student Documents in a large print font. However, it was locked. We didn't prepare for any smaller locks, but Yaoyorozu can read instructions for its assembly if this thing has its model label on it somewhere. She brought extra food just for a situation like this.

He could have Mina destroy this lock while Yaoyorozu kept watch at the door. Simple enough. He stood up. "Mina-"

"Ashido is preoccupied at the moment, she certainly has a lot of explaining to do. As do you two." The lights switched on and the office came alive, Aizawa walked in pulling Mina by the ear and Yaoyorozu entered with her head down and fiddling with her fingers again, almost looking like she could cry. Shouto couldn't read their teacher's poker face. Tired, confused, angry, disappointed? Which one was it, or was he all of them? His blank expression gave no clues.

"Busted," Aizawa said with not even a fraction of emotion in his voice, not unlike Shouto on a good day. "I could expect this from Ashido, and even you Todoroki, but to think Yaoyorozu, our top student-"

"Please Sensei, I'm not any less guilty, I chose to help," her voice wobbled with remorse.

"Oh, I am well aware, thank you. I don't plan on giving anyone special treatment. Let me make that clear." He met each of their embarrassed eyes with his cold ones. "Don't look so stiff, take a seat. You're not going anywhere until you fully explain yourselves to my satisfaction. That is unless you would rather explain it to the principal."

Yaoyorozu and Mina shook their heads before he finished his order, Shouto grit his teeth in annoyance, but he moved around the desk to take a seat in one of the guest chairs with the girls, saying nothing.

"If you don't mind me asking, Sensei... aha," Mina was sweating at her temples, probably both from her nervousness and the broken AC. "What are you doing here so early?" she asked.

"I was supposed to run basic drills with Bakugou to help figure out what's happening with his quirk, if you recall the incident during training on Monday." Shouto tilted his head, what was going on with Bakugou? "Ashido, you're his friend-"

"He might blast me if I call myself that!" she laughed.

"Well, nevertheless, check up on him if you see him at the dorm, he didn't show up, so I came here to work. But let's not change the subject."

He didn't show up?

"Now talk, I don't have all day."

——

YAOYOROZU AND MINA refused to throw Shouto under the bus, even though it was his idea and his plan that got the three of them there. Mina tried to take it all onto herself saying that they were planning him a surprise birthday party. Aizawa said his birthday wasn't for another five months, a party planned by students would be better suited in the classroom, and that he hated parties. But that was the excuse she was running with, too stubborn to budge, he signed tiredly knowing he wouldn't get any answers like this. And dismissed them, not before telling them that they would be on cleaning duty for the entire classroom for a week. As they began to leave the office he called Shouto back.

"Whatever you were looking for, Todoroki, you won't find it here. I'm only given enough information about my students to teach them efficiently and keep them safe, that is all."

Shouto let go of the breath he was holding, swallowed what's left of his pride that morning, only able to frown at the floor as he nodded and left.

——

THE SUN WAS fully up and almost impossible to keep out with his blinds. His head felt like a boulder and his neck and shoulders were made of twigs eager to snap. And he'd only just raised his head from his pillow to squint at the light. He had been laying in bed for hours upon hours. He was restless but his eyelids were aching, he wasn't comfortable lying in bed or pacing in his room. His body tortured him with hot and cold flashes and every part of him physically felt off.

Mentally, visitors conjured up by his paranoia came in the night. Every time the smallest sound was made he was sure someone was there, every time he closed his eyes he felt another's eyes on him. Real or imaginary, Katsuki couldn't really tell, that late in the night when everything is nearly pitch black everything can be misinterpreted. Would it really be so far-fetched to wonder if someone was watching him? The villains captured him under the goal and false pretense that he would join their cause. And this quirk... they played a large gamble on him and their goal. What if they wanted it back?

They can fucking have it, anyone can have it. I don't want this damn nuisance.

Once again, Katsuki remembered almost nothing from his dream, or nightmare, whatever it was. But he remembered one thing, a lingering feeling of familiarity, terror and complete desperation, not for himself this time, but for someone else. He was afraid for them, only he couldn't remember who. He couldn't say how many of these nightmares he's had, he thought they started once he started when he came back home from Kamino, all he could rely on was by counting the number of times he jolted awake in his sleep, sometimes more than once in one night, and even then there were times when he did so not as frantically, falling back asleep instantly and forgetting it entirely.

Things were different now, worse, they were starting to stick, to cling onto his consciousness longer before slipping back where they came from, almost like a memory.

Katsuki could hear the rest of the class running about the dorm getting ready for the day. It sounded like someone unlocked all the cages at the zoo. He struggled to sit up, now the fatigue was wearing down on him, of course, but it still hurt to close his eyes, they were sore and dry and wouldn't let him sleep even if he wanted to, waiting to wear him out until he's hit his limit and make him pass out involuntarily. He wondered if that was what caused him to fall when sparing with Half n' Half and not some freaky secret Santa quirk, but denied the possibility right after. It was a clear cause and effect. Kick impact, vibration and numbness, then some sort of release of energy followed by exhaustion.

Something clicked inside Katsuki's mind.

He looked about his room at all the things he could punch and kick with a lot of force without breaking them. He suddenly remembered Todoroki's fire during their fight and the incapacitating flow of energy afterwards. He looked down at his own hand.

Could I...

The door swung open and with it came all the noise on his floor that was muffled out when the door was closed, now at full force along with his immediate anger. He dully blinked for a second, confused as to why the fuck Mina was barging into his room at seven-thirty. Then the yelling came.

"What the fuck are you doing? Get out Raccoon Eyes!"

"I have a message," she grinned.

Katsuki didn't bother to hide his disinterest and dropped his head back down to his pillow. "I don't give a shit about your shitty message."

"I have a non-shitty and important message."

He was ready to drop kick her backpack out the window.

"This is the boy's side and technically breaking and entering."

"Been there done that already today. Aizawa-Sensei just came by and told me to tell you that you can come to class but not any practical training. Which by the way, we are long overdue for a catchup about whatever the heck is going on with your explosions. I'm calling a Bakusquad meeting today after class." She practically spoke twelve syllables a second but he managed to catch all of it.

"I'm not going to your fucking meeting and it's none of your business," he said between grit teeth.

"Too late I already told the group chat, bye!" Just like that she was gone and left his door wide open. He swore he was going to lose his damn mind. He forced himself up and out of bed. How the hell was he supposed to even concentrate in class when his body felt like a freaking slinky?

"Fucking hell."

——

SHOUTO'S MIND DRIFTED in and out of the classroom, his attention span is usually quite long but the past couple of days weighed on his mind and kept his notebook full of mindless doodles instead of trigonometry formulas. He was out of ideas as to how he could find any information about Touya, all that was left was his family. Mom was off the table, he didn't want to trouble her, and he feared he wasn't in a place where he could feel even remotely comfortable around Father, that left his siblings, but Shouto refused to go back to the house, he didn't want to kick start any more flashbacks or panic attacks, and he didn't want them to see him like that if he did. Maybe he could call them, but would that be weird? Talking to his brother and sister still felt formal and like a courtesy.

They're real family to each other, Shouto thought, I'm the outsider that's been living in their house for fifteen years. Still, he was at a dead end and they were the only option he had left after his massive fail just a few hours earlier.

Speaking of which, he could feel Mina's prying eyes and Yaoyorozu's flashing glances on him, probably of guilt from being caught. They had to clean the entire class spotless after the final bell. Mina kept turning around in her seat, eyes darting between himself and Bakugou which sparked another train of thought for him to worry about. He supposed he had some sort of obligation to make sure he was alright, though the guy would probably scream in his face for it. Shouto was there when it happened, he should see it through. He made a mental note to speak to Bakugou later.

He looks tired. Shouto saw him leaning his face up against his palm like he did most days, but his head kept drooping like he was fighting to stay awake and losing horribly. His knee was quietly bouncing under his desk. Shouto couldn't see his face but he was sure it wasn't in its best condition either. He looked to be only sitting up on the energy of second wind like his body was awake but his head was ready to tumble off his neck and shoulders.

As the class moved onto the training grounds later in the day, he noticed that Bakugou was absent, it occupied his thoughts for a while giving him a momentary distraction from the rest of his current problems. As he was cleaning the classroom once 1-A filed out, he halted his sweeping to question Mina, who was wiping the windows like it was her last day on earth.

"Mina, have you spoken to Bakugou? He seems off."

She looked over her shoulder with pursed lips, frowning a little in concentration. "Didn't know you two were buddies." Shouto silently waited. "Oh, I guess since you were with him when that whole freak accident happened you'd wanna be updated, yeah? I only talked to him for a sec this morning 'cause I didn't have time but..." she smiled devilishly, "the Bakusquad's having an intervention. He's avoiding us more than usual." Shouto could hear a bit of dejection in her voice. "I'm sure he'll be fine though, once he gets this quirk thing worked out! He's Bakugou!" she laughed. Somehow, Shouto doubted that.

——

AIZAWA SAW HIM during lunch. He didn't bother addressing his refusal to go through with the training, to Katsuki's surprise. And he didn't make good on his warning of expulsion. He simply told him that he would give Katsuki a bit more time to think about it and get used to the idea, with no mention of consequences if he failed to do so. Just seeing his teacher approach him sent a thousand thoughts into his head, him being expelled, or suspended and sent home, removed from the hero course. Or being to be forced to use this quirk, something he shouldn't even have, that only reminded him of the people and place it came from, that constant reminder to his kidnapping.

He wouldn't admit it, but the removal of the school policy threat took a lot of the pressure off even though he thought he was positive he would not be using this quirk anymore than he already had to. Unless that idea he had gotten would really work.

It was right after the bell when he noticed that Todoroki, Mina and Yaoyorozu were taking over everyone's summer cleaning duty and saw it as his chance to avoid whatever confrontation she had planned for him with the rest of the guys, who had been acting oddly even more over the top today than usual. He was ready to drop unconscious at any moment, the adrenaline from losing sleep wore off during their last lesson and now instead of being jittery, it took everything in him to get to the dorms without face planting. But he didn't want to sleep, sleeping meant returning back to that place. He couldn't relive it again, even if he did forget when he woke up. Katsuki was tired of everything, how much longer is he going to have to deal with this?

Only sleep isn't something you can fight off forever. He shouldn't have laid down, he should have walked or ran or done anything but stay still, because once he did he couldn't stop his eyes from closing, and slip back into the world he hated most.

"What makes a hero? That's something you have to decide for yourself."

And he was surrounded by them, cornered by them.

"Someone who wins?"

He recognized that voice, the boss with the dead hands. Shigaraki.

"You're Pro Hero Sensei couldn't, and you're classmates let us slip right out of their reach with you."

Something else was there, standing in the shadow in the back of the room, tall with a black suit. The leader from behind the scenes, the villain villains were afraid of. Katsuki couldn't look at him much longer, it's was what was behind Shigaraki's hand, that unerving aura, and he stands back there silently, motionless, watching with no eyes.

"Someone who saves everyone?"

It felt so real, lucid. He could see and hear and smell and feel everything exactly as it was. And Katsuki truly knew that he was there, he wouldn't wake up this time.

"All Might didn't come, and all those pathetic so-called 'heroes' couldn't maintain the simple task of keeping you with them."

Shigaraki walked over to the two people standing behind the bar with duct tape over their mouths and thin sharp wire wrapped around their necks, breaking skin, slowly drawing blood.

"They couldn't save you," he said, and Toga pulled the wire back on both of them, they began to choke on their own blood. " And you can't save them." He turned to her and she had tears all the way down to her neck mixing with her blood. "How did you put it? If he hadn't been so weak, this wouldn't have happened?"

If you hadn't been so WEAK.

Katsuki awakes in his room with a shout, but his mind is still in the hideout... he remembers. He was awake but wasn't not ending, they wouldn't let him out. He wouldn't let himself out. All he knew was he could still see them there in front of them, he could still smell the blood and see their tears and the villains revelling in his suffering. He couldn't remember people's names for the life of him, but theirs engraved themselves into his memory. He could see Twice talking to himself and Spinner's look of distraught and hesitation in his eyes as he pulled out of the room. Help me, he wanted to plead. He could hear Toga's deranged laughter as she pulled and pulled and pulled until heads rolled.

——

IT WAS PAST eleven at night when Shouto heard the racket coming from downstairs. At first, he thought it was from the common room or kitchen and someone was sneaking around after curfew. He hoped it wasn't Mina and Kaminari again, considering she had already gotten in trouble for him. But as it went on longer his irritation and frustration grew. He was already finding it impossible to sleep, kept up by the wondering theories of where his brother could possibly be, and trying to work up the courage and convince himself to call Natsuo or Fuyumi, but it was already so late. So he was left alone with his thoughts.

However, he couldn't get any peace of mind with the sound of things crashing and falling to the floor, he wondered if he was the only one to hear it, why did it sound so close? He listened for a little bit longer before suspecting that it could be coming from the room directly below him, Bakugou's. There was another sound of something shattering, that was enough to get Shouto out of his room and down the stairwell only one flight below. The hall looked to be dark and empty, and from the other side of where Bakugou's door was the sounds were muffled out, he got closer until he had his fist up against the wood. Somewhere between stepping off the stairs and getting there, the noise had stopped, his right hand dropped in temperature and chilled.

He took a steady breath and knocked lightly. No answer.

Shouto began to slightly panic beyond mild curiosity and concern, he knocked louder, repeatedly (Bakugou was not going to be happy if his suspicions were just fabricated and everything was fine) and the door opened halfway.

Shouto scanned Bakugou up and down, he was still in his uniform, though it looked like he walked through a hurricane with it on. His hair was poking in even more random directions that he identified as bedhead, sleeping in his uniform? Shouto was puzzled, there was also a red blush going across his nose and cheeks, which were a lot puffier, and he looked confused... distant from reality, he looked right through Shouto. To top it all off, a beat of sweat rolled down his temple and his eyes shimmered with tears. He never imagined he'd live to see the day where Bakugou Katsuki cried.

All in all, Shouto recognized the situation for what it was rather swiftly, he noticed everything that he assumed was on his bedside table had fallen, or was pushed to the floor, and the lightbulb of the lamp was broken into small shards. He had a nightmare, maybe even a night terror given all the banging and clashing he heard, but he couldn't say for sure.

"What the fuck do you want? Do you know what time it is?" His voice sounded shaky, but he could tell he was trying to hide it.

"Do you? You know I can hear you from my room right?" Not that I could sleep anyway.

For only a second Bakugou's eyes connected with him, and he seemed to come back. He looked embarrassed before he glared at Shouto. "Sounds like a you problem. Fuck off." He began to close the door, Shouto stuck his foot against it to keep it open just long enough to get out the words, "I used to get nightmares, as a kid I mean." Even though no one else seemed to be awake, he kept his tone quiet and emotionless as some kind of defence so he couldn't be read. "I don't know what stopped them, I just know that they can... I don't know, um... " He paused and searched for anything he could say that might be a small help, but nothing came up. He did have a few nightmares in elementary school, and they did stop eventually, but soon after he would have flashbacks every so often that would trigger panic attacks, so he supposed he hadn't really gotten rid of them after all.

"Yeah, no thanks I don't need handouts or tips or whatever the fuck from you." He shoved him back by the shoulder, pretty weakly but Shouto moved back anyway, out of the door frame as he slammed it closed.

Shouto knew something must be severely wrong after everything Bakugou had been through lately. But he didn't want anyone prying into his own issues just the same and retreated to spend the next hours until dawn trying to distract himself. It seemed for both of them that night was most often the cruellest time of day.

[safyresky]

Real talk, is ao3 better? Should I remove my story from ffnet and post it on ao3 instead to get better traction?

Honestly, it's really hard to say! I certainly don't have a definitive answer for you. Personally I think the whole ao3/ff dot net situation is very much up to each user's personal preferences, so I'll share my thoughts and maybe that'll help you make a decision that you're happy with?

I will say, that though I am crossposting, I am NOT going to be taking down my stories from ff dot net. Unless I make them original work and then have to bc LEGALITIES or whatever, lol.

See, the thing is people do still use ff dot net! And a lot of stories exist there that don't exist on ao3! And a lot of people don't use ao3! That's why I keep mine up there and have been updating on both platforms as best as I can :)

In terms of which is BETTER, that all depends on user experience, lol. For posting, I'm finding that I really like ao3! I'm a HUGE FAN of how the update interface works--the separation of Notes from the actual text, the tagging system, and how easy it is to pop in and edit post-posting a new fic/chapter/whatever :)

For reading, while ao3 is easier on the eyes and has 0 ads, I have a very hard time dealing with the huge amount of filters. ESPECIALLY since the sections for media also include the crossovers. I like the ff dot net separates the crossovers from the regular non-crossover fic automatically!

Of course, this is a LITTLE pet peeve of mine lol and the first thing I do in any category when searching for fic is filter OUT crossovers, and then the more intense M rated tag-esque stuff that I personally am not a fan of (though some people do like that and that's a-okay! What's gr8 about ao3 is that there's no like, ban on what you can write. It's not censored, that's the word I'm looking for! Another pro to ao3 if you wanna write some nitty-gritty angst or dark fic or what have you). Quite frankly, the amount of tags and filters going on is gr8 for stories and curating your reading experience! Lots of text just hurts my eyes, but I've been adjusting!

In terms of traction, ao3 may have a better platform for a wider audience. For starters, their stats aren't broken right now, so that's a pro! ff dot nets legacy stats are broken, so hits haven't been showing up, though comments and updates are coming through--just not the e-mails if you've opted out. Which they automatically do now bc of a gnarly spam problem the last few years. And the comment system is a lot more robust than ff dot net's PM replies and the like.

Overall, ao3 is easier to use and offers more in terms of categorizing your fics! I'd recommend posting to ao3 100% :). I know that my older fics won't get as many numbers as they did on ff dot net and that's okay! i keep them up on there for those that prefer it still over ao3, and for me to go back and see the reviews and the like.

If you do decide to take everything down from ff dot net, save save save! Backup the stories you have, download them, and take snapshots of any reviews you like, bc once they're gone, they're gone, and idk about you, but I LOVE going back and reading the reviews I have over on ff dot net!

tl;dr: both sites have their merits; ao3 has way more staff, and more opportunities for engagement, as well as easier layouts for posting and commenting. FF dot net isn't going anywhere, but has a much smaller staff and has changed some things about notifications, so definitely double check your e-mail settings. If you take stuff down from ff dot net, save your work first! And any reviews you're fond of, too!

But overall, deffs try ao3 before jumping ship. It may not work for everyone; I avoided it for YEARS bc it was hard for me to get used to and it has been a VERY slow crawl for myself in learning how it works, but BOY is it hella customizable and easy to use and I like it!!!