AITA for posting pics of myself with scars visible?
Tw for self harm
This happened years ago when all of us were in the 16-17 age range. We’re now 19-20
I have scars all over my body. Most were years old by that time, but some were still in the pink stage. Unless I want them showing, I need to wear long sleeves and long pants. This is what I usually do because I hate people asking questions or staring or the idea of someone thinking differently of me. However being so covered up is not practical in the summer months, especially as it gets closer to 90° temps. So, when I’m out with friends I sometimes go out with short sleeves or shorts. My friends are fantastic about this and don’t make me feel weird for how my skin looks.
We took a group pic and it was super cute so I posted it. The only ppl who follow me are my friends and they all know that I have scars. I’m trying to accept my body and everything and it’s a little step in that direction so I posted as is. No edits or anything. Usually I would cover with emojis but I feel like that draws attention to it rather than hides it. Especially when the emojis strategically cover both arms or both legs lol. Editing them out feels weird too. Like I would kill to have no scars but having them edited out of pics just feels disingenuous to myself?? Idk But anyways I thought it was fine to post, like it’s not the focal point of the pic. Its just three girls in front of a building and one happens to have scars.
Alice (fake name) messaged me about the pic warning me that my scars are showing. I thought she was trying to be nice. Warning me in case I wasn’t aware and wanted them covered. I said “I know haha but thanks for looking out for me” and she said something like with “I know you’re trying to be proud of your scars but not everyone is okay with seeing that ” that hurt, but I know she didn’t intend that so I explained to her that I didn’t know anyone in our group would feel that way, and I posted that bc I’m trying to feel normal. Not proud, just like a normal person posting a cute pic with friends. She basically told me it’s one thing to wear clothes that show them but another thing to post online. like what if someone sees it and takes up self harm or what if I trigger someone or what if employers see and other stuff, I can’t remember it all. She ended saying I should’ve put a TW in the first slide at least. I feel like that draws even MORE attention to my scars than the emojis and makes me very uncomfortable.
I haven’t posted pics with my scars exposed since but I wanted to know was I really TA for posting that pic? WIBTA if I posted one without the TW on the first slide? I’m just sick of cropping and covering it makes me feel so weird to the point I rarely post.
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Thinking about how drifter and bobby would somewhat worship eachother. It feels like they are each other's version they want to be (idk how to put it i suck at english). Immortality and mortality, both who were cursed in somekind of plague.
Everytime i draw them all touchy, cuddly, with each other. Being so, so close. That thought comes to mind.
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Hello! Do you have any fun headcanons to share about Idia? Honestly, I just find it painful to see how badly this guy gets butchered in headcanons sometimes. People always forget that he is in fact a complete ass with a massive superiority-inferiority complex and not just a sad boi, or they overplay the weeb part and ignore how he has other interests like science and art, or they make him too pathetic by assuming he would still be a blushing incoherent mess like a year into marriage, etc. Anyway, it’d just be nice to hear the headcanons of an actual Idia fan since that’s the only way to get anything sane.
Omg totally, first I'mma do a little rant, I'll make sure to label where the HCS begin so y'all don't have to read my rants 😭
܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
❱❱﹒⟡﹒𝑅𝑎𝑛𝑡﹢﹒🎮
Okay we gotta acknowledge the fact idia is indeed, an asshole you guys. 💀Well not completely obviously but he's not just gonna be nice to you for no reason. He's not just some depressed dude needing sympathy.
The way Idia is so Infantilzed by the fandom it's actually gets me tweakin, You guys this actually makes me mad, he's not some sensitive bottom uwu boy that stutters 50 times every sentence In fact I honestly cannot see him being submissive half of the time, this man is actually a asshole on the low. Most people get the fact that idia would be submissive from his shy and closed off personality which is just SO wrong to me.
Idia is extremely pessimistic and if we're being real Idia is actually not a good narrator for his own experiences, the constant self deprecation mixed in with his his thoughts about being superior to others is so fascinating to me, one moment he sees himself as nothing but a piece of trash while in the next moment he's boasting about how he's the only one component enough to be ignihyde's dorm leader. He's such a complex character I can Yap about him constantly
I get making jokes and stuff but some people genuinely think idia is some stinky incel creep that hates women and just purposely chooses to not go outside and be chronically online. Like yeah, he has nerdy and loser like hobbies but this man literally has trauma and chronic depression, along with an anxiety disorder, it's not something he can just make disappear. He likes science, engineering, art, anime, games etc which is all just cool, it's not like he's some creep that's afraid to talk to people, nor is he some super submissive guy that'll fold for you in a tiny interaction.
Had to get ts off my chest 💀
܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
܀⊹ ིྀ𝐼𝑑𝑖𝑎 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
🎧 Caramelldansen. Idia adores this song unironically. At first he had just saw the meme and quickly ended up falling into the whole thing, laying on the floor completely dazed out of his mind as the colorful lights flash in the background from the music video playing on repeat lol
🎮 I said this in my earlier post but Idia definitely draws his crushes all the time. Luckily he has a little self control and draws anime/manga characters in most of the pages, he's really protective over his sketch book due to 1.) His social anxiety and 2.) The fact that he doesn't want anyone to know that he likes drawing and observing people, especially his crushes.
🎧 Idia constantly has his headphones on, I know of a fact that Idia listens to Nightcore, anime OSTs, Vocaloid, animation meme music, Vkei, video game sound tracks and breakcore religiously. I think idia would honestly listen to everything he can get his hands on
🎮 I feel like he had a 2020 alt kid phase lol. I feel like quarantine would've been his time to thrive, his peak enjoyment of life would be set during this time lol. Being able to express himself like he wanted without others seeing??? Sign him up
🎧 Ironically, he's not super weak. I feel like he just sucks at physical activity, especially running since he doesn't leave his room much. His hands/fist are definitely strong, I feel like he has a strong hit.
🎮 That being said, I think Idia’s hands are large, thin and boney. They definitely have a few scars and calluses from all the machinery he works with, you can't tell me that his hands aren't pretty rough.
🎧 Idia is a fashion icon, in games. Not irl, he would never due to the attention it would grab him, though he definitely is into all of the alternative and Gothic fashion stuff. He'll give his characters the most perfect and pretty outfits and make sure everything is customized perfectly, not mind at all if it takes him hours to do so.
🎮 This man definitely collects figures. I feel like they're all anime and video game figures; he's even commission artist and such to make custom work of his favorite interest and brag online about it.
🎧 Has an habit of repeating words and phrases he likes over and over again. It doesn't matter if it's from an obscure meme that literally only 5 people including him know or if it's in a different language, he'll constantly reference and repeat it like no tomorrow.
🎮 He's a biter. He bites a lot of things randomly, he'd bite someone out of love if he got the chance. I'm telling you he'll just naw on random stuff, not caring if it's edible or not. It could literally be a plushy and he'll randomly bite it while he's hugging it.
🎧 Idia definitely finds confort in the rain and gloom weather. Really, he just enjoys typically gloomy things. It's extremely comforting and relaxing to him to just be able to sit on his bed with his headphones on while it rains harshly outside, making the world around him dark and gloomy.
🎮 Curses, like a lot. Gamer rage is real you guys and he definitely has it. If he loses a game too many times or gets too frustrated with his teammates, he'll curse like a sailor. His anger isn't directly to his teammates or anything, it's of him being frustrated with everything in general.
܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
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SCREENSHOTS I GOT FROM THE JEREMY JORDAN LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY. especially love the comments on his duck drawings. he was very proud of some of them since he needed to practice before the stream. he admits he does not draw much lol
and here's Lucifer's signature that Jeremy came up with: a cursive capital L attached to a pentagram!
the stream was SO FUN and literally only felt like 20 minutes even tho it was almost an hour
at one point he mentioned he's making pancakes with olive oil now since he has high cholesterol, and that he LOVES how the pancakes turned out. someone responded:
(later someone joked he should make pancakes with bacon grease and he almost shouted (not angrily) "DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE? I JUST SAID I HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL. I just said. I had high cholesterol. Are you TRYING. To kill me."
anyway back to screenshots lol)
"Take that, depression!" was a popular quote to write on prints, and he said he hoped we're not depressed and it was very sweet
some more quotes written during the stream and other notes:
"I'm gonna be signing these prints of my boy Lucifer, the short king of Hell"
he drank both a cold smoothie and hot tea during the stream. "Doesn't make any goddamn sense, but here we go."
"It's never too late to fuck up--too late to fuck shit up" (a legitimate accidental stammer. but still perfect in its own way)
"Every time I hear the name 'Shay' I think of my daughter's friend at school. My daughter's obsessed with a friend named Shay. 'S all she talks about. 'Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay Shay.' Shay and Madeline. It's like 'You can be your own person. Clara. You are your own HUMAN.' …HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATHERINE."
hopes to go to some conventions for Hazbin Hotel. more likely to go to cons in New York, New Jersey (where he lives), or Philly area
"He's just a li'l cutie. :3 Is he really da bosh? :3" (wondering if Lucifer really is the Big Boss of Hell Himself or if it's just more of a title)
"Hope you're not depressed"
" 'Write something Lucifer would say to cheer someone up.' And I think Lucifer would think that… 'SINGING MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!' At least when it comes to rebuilding your relationship with your daughter."
"Guess what's in my smoothie. There are six ingredients. Go."
"…said draw a little duck, so I drew the smallest duck I could. (holds print up to camera then says in small high-pitched voice:) It's a little duck!"
MORE QUOTES UNDER THE CUT. THIS POST IS GETTING LONG ASFQJSKSKSKKS
_____
about his smoothie again: "Obviously, I just went to the gym. So I gotta have some kinda supplement in there. ... WHAT'S THE BASE, Y'ALL? YOU GOTTA HAVE A BASE." (someone could use that audio and give a character a bass guitar lol)
(still about people guessing smoothie ingredients:) "WATER? Why would I put water in my smoothie. (mutters:) Water is for losers. ... Kale! -grins and points at camera- That's it! You win. That's my smoothie."
his smoothie was blueberries, bananas, strawberries, protein powder, almond milk, kale
"…with a hUUGE shmiley faysh! :3" (about a little " =) " smile he wrote with an autograph)
"THAT DUCK IS CUTE!"
"We love, we stan Lilith"
AGGRESSIVELY, ABOUT A JOKE HE MADE: "GET IT?"
Some fatherly advice from Lucifer: "Don't fuck up your lives like I did 😎"
HE SANG THE START OF HELL'S GREATEST DAD AND WANTS A MIMZY-LESS VERSION THAT ACTUALLY HAS AN ENDING QSJFKSKKSKS
he's only seen Hazbin Hotel once, and he had "~champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just to staaart~" going through his head for the two+ years between recording his lines and the show airing. he wasn't able to tell anyone it because of non-disclosure stuff, and eventually he even forgot what that song line was from. but it still went through his head
"[Person he was signing an autograph for] is a bi girl [bisexual], and that's pretty baller"
"AN INCREDIBLE DUCK YOU SHALL HAVE"
"Take that depression!! Quack"
"Hold please!" (i just liked imagining Lucifer saying almost any small thing)
Jeremy Jordan says Lucifer is short, and not just that all the other characters are tall (i cannot confirm that that is canon even tho that's what i want LOL) "What gives!? There are short people in this world, and they need some love"
someone asked what he thinks about OC x canon ships. he was confused about what OC means and then when the chat explained, he was confused about how "OC x canon" works. but he figured it out after thinking for a moment. "So basically everybody wants to fuck Lucifer. GOT IT."
"Am I going to Hell for this" (about all the pentagrams he's drawing)
"…so i just did a bunch of stars and hearts around Emery's name 💜"
someone asked about his favorite Hazbin Hotel song, and he answered that season 2 has a rock song he really likes 👀 👀
"(a requested phrase for an autograph:) 'Duck lord loves you no matter what.' ...Don't know what that particularly means but…"
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The Locked Tomb kitties for a kofi - I drew Harrow, Gideon, Kiriona, Aiglamene, Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and Nona - Hopefully you can tell who is who - w -
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me: keeps drawing random one-off fanarts from things that aren't currently big at all
also me: why no notes on my arte
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I played AI: The Somnium Files recently and I can't stop thinking about it, currently playing through nirvanA Initiative
have some Aibas featuring Kuramon
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
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Everytime I saw your art (on twitter) it makes me wanna draw. It makes me want to go back to drawing because it made me happy. I just wish that I would have/find more time for myself to draw things that makes me happy again. College has been biting me in the ass and I'm slow af with my hw
Anyway I love your art a lot and I hope you never stop making them, but also please take care of yourself and don't push yourself too hard. Thank you for putting a smile on my face :) (and for making me squirm sometimes cus 💙💚)
Have a good day/night!!
OMG YOU ALL ARE SO LOVELY THANK YOU FOR THESE MESSAGES!! I reread these and others so much you guys literally fill my heart with so much love!! Thank you <333!! IM SAVIGN THESE FOREVER TO LOOK BACK AT :,))
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Rose in the Lucky Luciano "you know I had to do it to em" sidewalk
> Rose: Do it to em.
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Alright here's my full (possibly hot) take on redesigning Hazbin Hotel characters and making a video showcasing those redesigns while you criticize the official designs.
First and foremost, you are redesigning someone else's OCs. Hazbin Hotel is, in essence, a passion project for Viv. How she talks about it makes that incredibly clear to me. The only difference between Hazbin Hotel and, for example, the story I'm developing surrounding some of my D&D OCs is that Hazbin Hotel got picked up by a streaming service and is significantly more popular than most passsion projects get.
Personally if someone wanted to redesign my D&D OCs, I wouldn't mind it, in fact I'd probably think it was really cool that someone would want to redesign one of my OCs to be closer to their tastes in terms of what they like to draw. I would, however, be made incredibly uncomfortable if someone made a video redesigning them where they also pointed out everything they thought was wrong with the designs. I didn't design these specific D&D characters to be 1-to-1 accurate to their classes in D&D or to look professionally designed. I designed them how I wanted them to look for the story I'm telling because I don't plan to ever play them in a campaign. The main character Avlan is a paladin, and I can acknowledge that his design might not look exactly like a paladin. One of the tabaxi in the story (Ice) is a bard and the other (Spark) is a ranger, and I acknowledge that their classes might not come across well in their designs. The single tiefling I've designed for this story (Tragedy) is a cleric but might not come off as one in their design. But I specifically designed them to be easy for me to draw because I want to be able to tell this story through my art. Having someone say "oh, Avlan's armor isn't paladin enough!" or "Avlan's fur colors and patterns should be closer to a wild rabbit's because harengon shouldn't be based on domestic rabbit colors!" would fucking hurt (especially because I'm so attached to Avlan, but it would hurt just as much if similar comments were made about Ice, Spark, or Tragedy). I am so passionate about these characters and being told their designs are bad or wrong in some way would be like a stab in the heart, and it would still feel like a stab in the heart if this story ever got a massive fandom behind it. Giving Avlan more complex armor because you think it'd look cool or just want to see what it'd look like? Sure, if I could draw more complex armor I'd give him more complex armor too. Giving him more complex armor but also shitting on the armor I decide to draw him with? My motivation to draw him in his armor, potentially draw him period, would be dead for WEEKS.
Why is it suddenly okay just because someone's passion project was picked up by Amazon Prime? Why is it suddenly okay to be "fixing" someone's character designs just because the project has a much bigger budget than most artists get and is on a popular streaming service? It's not. I don't care if you're a professional character designer, or think a specific character would look better with certain traits, or just don't like the character designs.
Hazbin Hotel is still Vivienne Medrano's passion project, and redesigning her characters and making videos talking about everything you think is "wrong" with them is, honestly, disgusting. You can make videos explaining your choices in your redesigns without putting down the designs that already exist, whether you like them or not. Me thinking Lucifer looks better with his tail not restricted to his full demon form doesn't suddenly mean I don't like his official design, because I fucking love it. If you wouldn't do it to an artist whose passion project is just a webcomic here on Tumblr, don't fucking do it to an artist whose passion project got picked up for a cartoon by a big streaming service (or any company for that matter).
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happy birthday aya!!!! hey, doesn't she look like that one vocalist of that dj unit?
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went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share
+ more thoughts and old yyh art below
(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)
something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah
but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)
i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun
however i did transcribe the notes i left:
7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show
8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy
7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3
1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it
[+ this drawing]:
anyway. forever fornever. if you even care
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You have Cat Quest aus?
Fgsgvjthjhj
I do! Well, just one lol
I call it the Second Chance AU It's specifically for Cat Quest 2
Basically the two protagonists are sent back home, but instead of losing all their memories they keep them, and are forced to figure out how to fix things before both fall into all out chaos.
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ngl it bums me out how fast everyone hopped off masks not just for covid/communicable diseases but just the concept of revisiting personal safety equipment in general.
long post i guess
I've been taking a 5 week pottery workshop on wheel throwing (it's neat!) and we got up to glazing last week. When you glaze pots, the glaze starts as a a thick liquid and then dries really quick into a powdery form (on your clay piece). I was asking my instructor about clean up and she was like "oh you can just rub off the excess carefully, but try not to get dust in the air as it's a little toxic. obviously you're wearing a mask but the rest of us aren't"
(my partner and i wear masks b/c it's inside and that's just what we still do. it sucks but it's better than covid and also now inhaling dust/fumes)
I kinda wanted to respond "maybe we should all be wearing masks??" like if not for covid concerns, at least for the semi-toxic powder we're all just handling/some folks are breathing in O.O
(i didn't b/c tbh i'm still a little on edge with the going out/doing stuff in public thing/esp indoors and people misgender me/mispronounce my name constantly and honestly sometimes you just want to do ceramics and not fight with people. it also just didn't feel winnable)
I feel like there's so many things like that that people just disregard as a risk that don't need to be, but as a society (US at least), we just never wanted to have that conversation (it was at best, begrudging, at the height of government awareness of covid and now it's completely gone by the wayside). At this point people either respond negatively or aggressively to any suggestion of it.
But like we've all had that one art teacher/professor who was a little bit off b/c they'd just been inhaling toxic paint fumes their whole career and it was always written off as just a quirk/part of the job (maybe things are better now? new art students feel free to chime in) and not something that could have been mitigated.
idk, it just makes me sad that we never got to even have the conversation about how so many jobs/hobbies should use more personal safety equipment than they do (either b/c people feel inconvenienced by it or don't know).
(tangent but i remain appalled at how many people i see riding bikes/etc around here that don't wear helmets! it's fucking wild to me, like we had the "wear a helmet or your head will be shattered like an egg" demonstrations as early as elementary school in massachusetts. Like it's just silly not to, and yet so many people in cali are like "a helmet? i don't know her". Also adults will agree that children should, but they shouldnt?!? wear a helmet for biking/skating/etc is the hill i will die on, esp on pavement)
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