#i think Stede's is words of affirmation

[follows-the-bees]

I did an analysis of the meaning of Ed touching Stede's chest, hand over heart, here.

But now I wanna talk about the meaning of face touches - and Ed's outfits - across both seasons.

Bathtub Comfort

The first time Stede touches Ed's face is when Ed is seeking comfort. After he opens up about him being the Kraken, killing his dad and his plan to kill him, Stede offers a comforting shoulder squeeze and Ed deepens it by lying his head against Stede's hand. It is an intimate moment of vulnerability for both, especially Ed and he doesn't hesitate to accept it.

While Ed is wearing his Blackbeard outfit here, he is also covered in Stede's robe, like just the thought of Stede's presence can be a shield to the outside world and Ed's internal emotional struggle. And to have Stede come in and physically touch him, his face, Ed is completely comfortable in this combination of both of them, their vulnerability.

This Is Happening

In the next episode, Stede points out food in Ed's beard and when Ed can't find it, Stede asks permission to take it out. He doesn't fully reach for it until Ed gives permission (the amount of consent between these two, especially in the second season is so special to me) and leans forward (the classic Ed leans toward Stede movement that continues throughout the show.)

Ed is also not wearing his full Blackbeard outfit here, he has stripped down to just a simple purple T-shirt and pants. And we know that purple comes out as Ed's feelings for Stede deepen. So in this moment, Ed is more Ed than Blackbeard.

This is a soft, tender moment that shows the growing feelings between them. Stede's voice is as soft as his reach and touch while Ed looks at Stede so fondly, openly vulnerable.

Beach Kiss Eins

The first time Ed touches Stede's face, is during their first kiss. As soon as Stede responds, Ed moves his hand to his neck and down to his chest. And the pattern of vulnerability, closeness, and gentleness continues.

Neither of them are wearing their normal clothes here. They are wearing uniform, tan ill-fitting sacks (foreshadowing). Their first kiss is not only bare with emotional intimacy but of their identities. They aren't Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate during this moment, they are Ed and Stede, two men in love for probably the first time, sitting on a beach, the combination of land and sea.

Let's move to Season Two.

Cake Toppers

Oh, the cake toppers. Those damn cake toppers. They are the embodiment of the two of them to Ed, who caresses the wedding cake topper resembling Stede so much that he rubs some of the paint off. And just like every touch between the two of them so far, Ed lightly grazes the figure in a tentative but gentle way that shows he still has deep feelings for this man no matter how many raids, rhino horn, or self abusive behavior he tries to use to drown out his pain and the Kraken persona that he has put on like a sea monster lost in the deep dark depths of the sea.

Gif credit

Stede's Dream

In Stede's dream about their reunion, the two comically Monty Python (can we call them Monty Pyrates from now on?) run down the beach and full body collide against each other rolling to get on their sides, where Ed is the one to reach forward and touch Stede's face. This is Stede remembering how Ed did the same thing during their first kiss and he is recreating this moment in a fairytale fashion.

Their clothing is once again notable. Stede is wearing a more traditional pirate costume, earring, and has grown a beard. While we saw sword training last season between the two of them, Stede does not truly start wearing one until later in the second season. This is him trying to become who he thinks Ed would want, not the bumbling semi-pirate, but the confident, killing pirate with facial hair and more down-to-earth look. Ed is not only portrayed in his traditional garb but he has his old beard is back, he is the version that Stede first fell in love with. (Stede loves Ed as Ed though, no matter what he wears.)

Moonlight Serenade

Their first kiss under the moonlight is tentative and is a mirror of the moon scene in season one.

This is the first time that Stede touches Ed's face during kissing of his own volition. Even when he was trying to bring Ed back to life in episode three, he held his hand and pounded on his chest, over his heart, trying to shock it into fully beating to life.

He's been dreaming of Ed as touching his face again like the first kiss, but instead Stede is the one who moves his hand to Ed's face, and deepens the kiss. Because Stede is ready for this, and he wants to show Ed that he is here, he is committed to them. It is Ed who pulls away and asks to take it slow, because he is the one who has to heal in this scenario. This is his season, his season to heal, grow, and learn to reconcile all three sides of his being.

When Ed pulls back, Stede immediately responds, taking his hands off Ed to respect his wishes. And he only touches him again after gaining consent to hold his hand. Once again, we are treated to their gentleness, hesitancy, but the underlying love they have for each other is present in every cradle, fingers through hair, consent.

Instead of like the first season where they walk away in different directions, looking back at each other while trying to puzzle out what happened, they walk away together, toward the captain's cabin, still talking about their day and playfully playing off each other.

Once again they are not wearing their normal clothes, particularly, Ed is not wearing his Blackbeard outfit. He is wearing a light-colored onesie made from a potato sack as well as a cat bell. A bell he purposefully makes ring in an adorable shoulder shake to let Stede know that he is coming in for a kiss - unlike their first one, where he almost surprises Stede with it. We don't see it, but I bet Ed thought that maybe if he didn't surprise him, if he hadn't kissed him but kept talking, Stede wouldn't have left him. He probably blamed himself for that, so he made sure this time that Stede knew what was happening beforehand.

Calypso's Birthday

They are both physically injured from Ned Low's torture as well as in mental distress here. Stede is having flashbacks of his childhood and blood on his face because this is the first time he has purposely gotten blood on his hands. Ed is upset at seeing Stede take this step, thinking that he has corrupted him. But once again, they both consent to this, Stede does not even move forward or kiss Ed until Ed nods his head and then physically pulls Stede against him. This kiss is a combination of the first two. Ed's hand wraps around and on Stede's neck like the beach one, while Stede's hand snakes its way into Ed's hair when he deepens the kiss. This is the first and only time we see their bodies align and touch at more than just the contact of hands and lips.

Later on we see both of them in a different state of undress. Ed's hair is completely down, and he's once again in a t-shirt, stripped down emotionally and looking at Stede like he's the center of the world as the colors of their love - red and purple - surround them, until Ed looks directly at Stede and the burst of yellow - his lighthouse - shines bright. Stede is already shirtless at this part, his vulnerability bared skin-surface level.

Beach Kiss Zwei

And of course, we reach the finale, where In general the number of touches has escalated; they have chosen each other, chosen to give this a try. Ed emerges out of the ocean and all three themes (the Kraken, Blackbeard, and Ed) play all in a row, because he took what Pop-Pop said to heart and embraced all three of his identities to save and protect his loved ones.

One hand is on Stede's face almost the entire time they are reunited on the beach, and after the first kiss and apology, Ed moves both hands to Stede's face, using that leverage to pull him in for a kiss, holding onto him for dear life. He doesn't let go until Stede responds to his "I love you" reassuring Ed that he knows that, and Ed can drop his worry about Stede not knowing/hearing those words before that moment. Ed smiles and moves his hands down, and if they weren't in the middle of a battle, he would have wrapped his arms around him, pulled him in to align with his body, and kissed him again.

I particularly love this one because we can see the desperation, especially for Ed during this moment. He clearly doesn't want to stop touching Stede, only doing so out of necessity at the end. Stede is quiet, that calmness that Ed needs, just enjoying being in Ed's presence "breathing the same air."

This is the first time that they are wearing their full identities while kissing. Covered in blood, having just dropped weapons used to kill soldiers to get to each other, only to touch and kiss each other with softness and love but also desperation.

This is also the first time they openly embrace each other. All season, things have been slightly off while they take it slow, try to figure out their status together and separate. They stand apart, but still facing/bodies turned toward each other, only a few inches away. And they never touch in the presence of others, instead only kissing in the candlelight of the captain's cabin and under the moonlight. But now they are under the bright sun in front of The Pirate Queen and countless red shirts, two who were making fun of the letter Stede wrote Ed before Ed dispatched them. And Ed even reaches over later to put his hand on Stede's shoulder in front of Zheng, offering him comfort and saying yes babe, I see you, don't worry.

They kiss on the beach!! combining the sea and the land - the lighthouse, kraken, merman, flightless birds now grounded- they are the MERMEN.

Gif credits

Overall, the touches exchanged between Ed and Stede are all laced in emotion, vulnerable. And as their relationship progresses, these touches also evolve enough that by the end, kissing or touching each other's face no longer needs a pause and explicit consent because they are comfortable enough to know each other and their boundaries.

But there is something particular about the face touching between them. It shows a higher level of intimacy and romance that is at the heart of our mythical beings who have finally found each other and met in the middle, combining land and sea.

I didn't include the touches previous to the bathtub, like Ed hugging Stede after the lighthouse fuckery, or during the party, first moon scene, because I wanted to focus on the face touching primarily since it offers more depth to their relationship. I did this from memory, so I apologize if I missed any.

[oldmanffucker]

Ed and Stede making out and rutting wildly and desperately and Ed panting “tell me you want me” stede huffs a laugh “isn’t it obvious?” his knee is between Ed’s thighs after all and they’ve been grinding wantonly and greedily. “I- please just tell me, please say it” Ed is blushing and his huge eyes are looking at Stede like he truly won’t know for sure if Stede doesn’t tell him right now. Stede ducks down a hair’s breadth from Ed lips and breathes, “I want you, Ed. Let me show you how much, love. I need you.” he rolls his hips to punctuate the point and Ed groans, grabbing Stede’s neck, fingers threaded through his hair and pulls him into a bruising kiss.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

Chauncy’s character assassination of Stede Bonnet in 109 is brutal. I want to explore the imagery and connotations of monster. Typically, we think of monsters as grotesque, ugly and something to be feared. Monsters are deemed anti-normative by the majority who set the standard for what is considered desirable, normative.

Stede has been ‘monstered’ by everyone his whole life. His father others and bullies Stede for being a gender nonconforming boy; Mary cannot understand Stede’s desperate need to ‘break the monotony’ in their marriage; the Revenge crew can’t initially comprehend this new, life-affirming approach to piracy and consider mutiny. To the likes of Nigel Badminton, Stede has been a ‘monster’ since childhood with his gentle, crying, flower-picking ways. Ed is the first person to see beauty and worth in the monster. When Ed attempts finally to shed the costume of toxic masculinity worn as protective armour for so long, he is accused of being a monster too: ‘This…you’ve become’. This. Unnamable. A whatever. All because Ed isn’t performing masculinity to Izzy’s expected standard. Effeminate behaviour will not be tolerated. Emotion outside of anger is weakness.

But this show loves to confound and it confounds well.

In 203, Ed’s mind subverts the trope of the monster into something transcendental. And by doing so rescues his own self from the Kraken-monster imagery that has imprisoned him, the stone falling from his waist, albatross-like.

Because what is more monster than a human-hybrid. A scaly, underwater-breathing, half-man, half-goldfish. Merstede is a monster. An effeminate one. And a beautiful one! Ed reclaims the word from Chauncy, rehabilitates it, and allows the wonder of Stede Bonnet to blaze across his dying consciousness. This enigmatic man, frequently reviled for being unashamedly himself, turned Ed’s world upside down and inside out. Who challenges Ed’s own perceptions of self again, and again, and again. Whose anti-normative qualities are not grotesque, but rather exquisite. This undefinable, miraculous creature who left Blackbeard completely and utterly undone.

Stede mirrors Ed. I am you and you are me. Let’s be anti-normative together. Let’s redefine the trope.

Here be monsters, both.

[our-flag-means-love]

so i know ed and stede's love languages have been discussed to death but i'm gonna do it too because imo many cakes isn't just about fic.

specifically, i want to talk about what i think their love languages are, and why they are what they are, and also why this supports the fact that stede and ed are more alike than they seem at face value.

but in order to do that, we'll also need to talk about violence.

so there's pretty much no question that ed's love language is physical touch. his first real contact with stede (y'know, besides when he was like 3/4 dead and barely conscious and looking like a drowned rat) was a gentle touch to the hand.

he's constantly giving stede little reassuring touches, and just casual ones as well.

stede, on the other hand– i've seen people suggest that his love language is quality time based on the treasure hunt episode, but i disagree with this. he did that with the specific goal of impressing ed with an adventure, not just spending time with him.

no, i firmly believe that stede's love language is words of affirmation. he's always praising not only ed but also the crew with verbal reassurances.

i mean, his main motto as a captain is "we talk it through as a crew." it's hard to be more clearly in favor of verbal support than that.

(this is mostly split for Very Long length but also consider this your content warning for discussion of stede and ed's childhood abuse a bit further down.)

we see both of these love languages at play from the moment they meet. in their very first conversation, when stede is feeling unsure of himself, ed gives him reassurance and– importantly– a few gentle touches, and stede responds with praise.

and once they get to know each other better, they also start communicating in each other's love languages to show support and care.

so, we know their love languages. but why are these their love languages?

well, i'm far from the first to say it, but i think it's because of this.

they use what they know.

when you've grown up in a culture of physical violence, bodily contact is what you learn how to utilize.

and obviously being immersed in violence extends well beyond ed's childhood– it's present through his whole career in piracy– but that was where it took root.

and, likewise, if you've been raised in a world where violence is committed through words and not punches, then language is your most trusted weapon.

and the same goes for this being a factor throughout all of stede's life, and from far more people than just his father.

but... stede doesn't use his words for violence. not usually, at least, and never with people he loves. he's passive aggressive with izzy, with the french aristocrats, and a bit with mary after he catches her with doug. but for the most part, he uses his words to show care and appreciation to his crew and to ed.

just like how we rarely see ed use actual physical violence. he certainly delegates it, but the most we see him commit by his own hand (in real time, not counting killing his father) is threaten a racist french captain, horse around with calico jack (who was raised in the same culture of violence as ed, i might add), and then what he does to lucius and izzy after he gives up hope of stede returning. like stede, we mostly see him use physical touch as a gesture of care and fondness.

they may have different love languages, but their love languages arise from the same source: the methods they were taught to harm people. one of the many things stede and ed have in common is that they both show the most support using the tools that they were always told can do the most damage. they've both reclaimed the languages of violence they grew up with-

-to use them for love.

[fallenrocket]

#HuntForThePirateHome Watch Party

(crossposted from my twitter)

Hunt for the Wilderpeople reflects a common theme in Taika Waititi's work, and in OFMD, about people's perceived worth/capabilities. It's easy to look at someone from the outside and call them a "bad egg" or an idiot/failure.

But with love, affirmation, and understanding, people are so much more than that. It's funny when Paula sums up all of Ricky's delinquency, but it's also so sad that she's pre-decided his kid's entire future, boxing him in before he's even started.

***

I'd forgotten that Oscar Kightley was in this. He was one of my favorite parts of Next Goal Wins!

***

In a weird way, Bella is a bit like Stede after his reunion with Ed. She's thrilled to have Ricky there and eager to lavish him with everything he could want, but she's also cognizant of what he's been through and trying to respect his space.

***

"I'm so happy we found you, buddy. I'm sorry it took so long." 🥹

***

"He's tricky like that, Jesus"--lol, I love it.

***

Taika is so good at setting up little visual things that pay off later in the film, creating a great narrative moment without any dialogue. It's such a gut punch when Ricky pulls back his blankets and the hot water bottle isn't there.

***

I love this movie. Every element is just wonderfully executed. The acting, dialogue, camera work, music choices, even the chapter titles--they all serve to enhance the story the film is telling.

***

"Do you want me to go find help? ...I'd die, wouldn't I?"

Julian Dennison is so great as Ricky. Taika's gift for casting/directing kids is impeccable, he never misses.

***

The most heartbreaking thing about Ricky's story about Amber is that we the audience (and Hec) understand what really happened better than he does. Brilliant scene, gaahhhh!

***

"'Faulkner is Cauc... Caucasian.' Well they got that wrong, 'cause you're obviously white." Love that line!

***

I love Ricky's "he made me do stuff" monologue. It's common to have one character innocently say something that sounds completely wrong to another character, but it's rarely done with such finesse. Nothing Ricky says sounds forced for the sake of the joke.

***

I like Ricky and Hec's conversation about "majestical" vs. "majestic." I relate to that feeling of knowing a word isn't "proper" but using it anyway because it feels closer to what I want to say than the real word.

***

@netflix is a great platform for Hunt for the Wilderpeople. It would pair wonderfully with Our Flag Means Death, another hilarious, heartfelt story with a unique vision whose amazing cast features some talented Polynesian actors! Won't you #AdoptOurCrew?

***

"She wanted to save us poor wretches when no one else wanted us, like rescue dogs"

This is a line that could easily be uncomfortable and patronizing. But we've met Bella, so we know that this is true in the sincerest way possible.

***

Paula is a subtle Miss Trunchbull, change my mind.

***

Oh god, poor Zag--you were a good dog. 😢

***

"I was trying to tell you it was like The Lord of the Rings!"

Ricky Baker has never done a single thing wrong in his life, your honor.

***

"Don't even get me started on the national rugby team! They're not human."

Psycho Sam has entered the chat!

***

Okay, so Frenchie would absolutely believe the same conspiracies as Psycho Sam, but he'd also be like, "Take it easy, man, alright?"

***

It's hard for me to pin down my favorite Taika film, but I think Hunt for the Wilderpeople is his quintessential film. While his onscreen role is small, it's like concentrated Taika Waititi, and it's the one I'd use to introduce people to his work.

***

@netflix, Hunt for the Wilderpeople is about finding a place to belong after you've been rejected

Our Flag Means Death, which is also about belonging, was rejected by its former streamer

You could #AdoptOurCrew and give this diverse, critically-acclaimed show a new home!

[quillyfied]

Okay final episode thoughts that I don’t know that I can expand into real coherent thoughts so heck it we’re doing it live and cramming them together, no chronology just memory vibes, PART FOUR:

- I think part of the problem of it feeling so fast an episode, for me, is the anticipation; I waited to watch it with friends and by the time it was finally happening I had been waiting all day and it was killing me.

- That being said, the pace is breakneck, for something that starts so peacefully

- Love that we get immediate confirmation that Ed is not suited to a fisherman’s life. Though I do love the conflict inherent in Ed meaning “simple” as a compliment based on how hectic and chaotic his life has been up to this point, but of course someone who doesn’t know any of that would think he’s insulting them.

- Also very interested in the shift of Ed going to direct killing rather than trying to put a layer between it and himself; it’s the Kraken but in Protection Mode. Adore that for him. (And maybe the killing doesn’t count if they’re English Navy.)

- I had a feeling Stede was talking to Zheng about being a failure the longer the season went on. Delighted to be proven right. Was also shocked to hear she thought Auntie was dead but then had to reckon with the fact that she hasn’t analyzed a single screenshot and spotted Auntie like I did soooooo

- The simmering anger in my own gut when I saw Spanish Jackie’s overrun and the lady herself treated like that. Also OF COURSE THEY BUILD UP RESISTANCES TO IOCANE POWDER POISON IN THIS HOUSE

- (Side note but the number of ofmd fics, my own included, that have Princess Bride as a reference or element in them makes me smile)

- Calling Ricky Pinocchio. IZZY calling Ricky Pinocchio. The layers. The subtext. The intertextuality. The face-value humor. I’m salivating.

- The letter Ed reads! The way they say the words together!! If they don’t start next season with matching lover’s tattoos (or include it somewhere), I’m rioting.

- THEY GET TO RUN AT EACH OTHER ON A BEACH TO NINA SIMONE FOR REAL THIS TIME

- okay but is Ed’s knee brace a victim of the budget cuts this season bc I miss it

- the entire time they were running at each other I kept shrieking “please don’t stab each other. Please don’t stab each other. Boys please drop the swords and don’t accidentally stab each other”

- KISSIES.

- I LOVE YOU. TWICE.

- Zheng having it up to HERE with these useless gays

- NOT NOW ZHENG THEYRE VERBALLY AFFIRMING THEIR CARE FOR EACH OTHER AND ALSO KISSING

- Olu caring for Auntie. I cry.

- I also cry bc it has seemed to me all season that Auntie and Zheng have a dynamic similar to Izzy and Ed but less deeply toxic; I love that just because it isn’t as toxic, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt them both. Auntie choosing to listen to Olu and be softer and more open with Zheng, and Zheng returning the favor, is so important to me. Cannot emphasize enough its sweetness. Especially with Zheng thinking she’d lost Auntie.

- “It’s only a suicide plan if we die” STEDE.

- Giggling to myself at the butt shot bc 1. Of course the guy whose butt it is has a whole post about it where he’s a delight, and 2. Fandom has been begging for them to show hole all season, y’all satisfied? ;P

- Why does everyone look so hot in those uniforms though. Why is Ed putting on a tricorn hat so attractive. These are uniforms that represent imperialist cruelty, WHY IS EVERYONE HOT IN THEM

- (It’s the rebellion of it all I think)

- Awfully bold of Ricky to immediately turn on them when he’s still close enough to be shot, but I think it’s his Rich White Boy recklessness.

- Con O’Niell giving the performance of a lifetime to the very end. The subtlety of Izzy not being okay through the entire mad dash to the Revenge, culminating in him leaning on Ed AND Frenchie and the implications of that I EXPLODE

- So. Turns out my final mini theory about that bloody hand screenshot from the trailer was right; it is Izzy’s blood, and it is Jim that Ed’s hand is blocking.

- Izzy giving the apology we have been waiting for all season as a deathbed confession, HECK

- And giving voice to the fact that he loved and needed Blackbeard! And that he knew he was feeding it even though Ed had OUTGROWN it!! And giving Ed closure and release from having to be Blackbeard!!! GUUUUUHHHHH.

- I really didn’t think izzy was going to die until three days ago. Im so sad. It’s thematic and perfect and if someone had to die of course it had to be Izzy and they did him right by that death scene but I CARE MORE NOW. CHEFS KISS STORYTELLING.

- This end bit, to my memory, feels a little scattered and messy; Zheng wanting to work together to get back at Ricky…and then the ship sails off without Ed and Stede. Maybe I need to watch again but I got some whiplash there. Like yeah it’s way more important to the story that Ed and Stede get at the very least a break from piracy before the next season, more in line with the themes and character arcs, but. Idk. Felt sudden still?

- Pete and Lucius marriage ;A; “you may slash each other’s faces” ROACH PLEASE

- YES ED WE SEE YOUR ROMANTIC SIDE EYE

- FRENCHIE IS THE CAPTAIN NOW. Capitalizing on that quiet arc he’s had all season!! I love it!!! And showing that all of the Revenge crew have it in them to be leaders and the best versions of themselves when given an environment where they can. And now they have capable women aboard! Win-win!!

- I need to go dig up my post about the hollowness and toxicity of revenge in this show bc I have more examples to add to it and strengthen my theory

- Ed and Stede about to go through their Anne and Mary arc. Let’s hope they pivot faster than the other two and don’t get stuck in a rut the same way. But I love that they get to try this out together, to find new dreams and things to do together. They deserve that.

- I also respect the showrunners so much for giving us an ending that could be a decent end if Max doesn’t renew for a third. I like being able to hold my two favorite shows next to each other and see that the two extremes of ending in an uncertain place work—for GOmens, a heart-shattering cliffhanger was absolutely the right call. For OFMD, a soft ending that can be expanded on if allowed. I love them both.

- Gonna go rewatch and then rewatch the whole season and then rewatch both seasons, excuse me.

[oldbutchdaniel]

not to bring love languages into this or anything but i think it is so awesome how basically every part of ed and stede’s relationship development (and therefore a sizable part of the plot) is driven because they’re both so desperate for words of affirmation. this is why they got back together .5 seconds after stede said he liked the length of ed’s beard and why stede went on a killing spree after some jackass said some mean things about ed and why they got divorced because a couple of random people suggested in conversation that the other one might leave

[dreamingticklee]

Tickletober Day 2: Drawn On

Fandom: Our Flag Mean Death

Characters: Lee! Stede, Ler!Ed

Words: 422

“Ehehehed!”

Stede couldn’t help but squirm against the ticklish point of the quill Ed was using on his ribs.

“You’re the one who said you wanted a “tattoo” and asked for my help, mate.” Ed tried to speak as evenly as possible.

“B-buhut you’re the one whohohoho s-suggested draw-ahaha! D-drawing it on my rihihihibs!” 

Ed couldn’t help but smirk and let out a smooth chuckle at that. “Okay, so maaaaybe I suggested drawing it here on purpose...thought it would make it more interesting. You’re just too ticklish for your own good, Stede!” 

Stede’s face flushed red at the teasing confession. Oh, this bastard. The tip of the quill was sending tingly zips all around the side of his ribcage and the affirmation of Ed knowing his ticklishness and also wanting to reduce Stede into a giggly puddle was too much. He had been trying so hard to keep his arms in place and not move too much in order to not mess up Ed’s drawing for him, but now that was being thrown out the window.

“Nahahahaa Ed!” In a playful attempt to stop him (not that he really wanted to), Stede started batting at Ed’s hand holding the pen. The tussle didn’t last long, however, as Ed was easily able to grab Stede’s wrists and pin the offending hands under his knees.

“Now, now, Stede...,” Ed tutted, “can’t have you trying to mess up an artist’s work! I wasn’t quite finished yet...”

Stede squealed as Ed brought the tip of the quill back in contact with his skin and began diverting course of his original drawing (a bow and arrow heart with “Ed” written in the center, of course) and started snaking it down Stede’s side.

“I think we need to add a little something here!” Ed then circled down to the jut of Stede’s hip. “And down here...oh!” Ed jumped the quill over to Stede’s other side. “You know what? We can make both sides match! And, hey! What about something here?”

Ed’s sudden movements all around his torso had Stede shrieking and gasping in surprise and his hips bucked with each new spot. But, if he was being honest, he was loving every second of it.

Ed smiled down at Stede, completely basking in the giggles and high pitched squeals as he used him as a canvas. A very ticklish canvas. Although, it wasn’t long before Ed was laughing along with him and setting the quill down to dive in with fingers and tickle Stede in ernest, “tattoo” forgotten.

[fandomn00blr]

Fanfic Self-Rec Challenge 

(yes, I’m calling this a challenge for myself because for a number of reasons, this type of thing is very difficult for me!)

@ziskandra tagged me last week to rec five of my own fics (and @blarrghe, I think your tag was for ‘recent’ fics, which these are mostly not, but I’m tagging you back anyway!). My first reaction was to laugh and say (to no one), “HA! I DON’T EVEN HAVE FIVE FINISHED FICS!” but it turns out I actually do have quite a few that are done or at least done enough to rec, and from more than just Dragon Age (though still mostly DA)! 

Here are five of my favorites:

1. The Benefits of Sleeping with a Witch (Explicit, 2 chapters, 4496 words)

Prompted weird and smutty off-shoot of my Morrigan/Blackwall long fic The Witch & The Warden that didn’t quite fit the tone or story arc, but was really fun to write. Blackwall gives Morrigan some lotus blossoms...Morrigan makes hallucinogenic tea...and turns into a dragon...and takes Blackwall on a fun sexy ride into the sky...(mind the tags!)

2. Generosity & Hubris (Teen-Mature, 6 very short one-shots, 6978 words)

I’m cheating...this is technically a ‘series’ of Merrill/Isabela one-shots on AO3 but they’re all connected, and in chronological order. Mostly from Merrill’s POV which is a very affirming place to write from...lol.

3. Chokedamp and Feelings (Explicit, 5 chapters, 15476 words)

I love this fic. I love these two old men (Stroud/Loghain...Stroghainoff...yes that’s the ship name and since it’s mine I get to name it!). I love all the weird Warden-ey goodness this fic inspired me to elaborate on in the most awkwardly horny ways. I love all the other fics and one-shots this one has inspired...I just love this cast so much.

4. Old Wound (Mature, one-shot, 1529 words)

Castlevania’s immortal wives, Striga and Morana, reflecting on their first sexy meet-horror...I love them, and their happily ever after. Writing them also sends me down lots of fun cultural-historical rabbit holes.

5. New Names (General, one-shot, 456 words)

The only Our Flag Means Death fic that I’ve dared to post on AO3...it’s very silly. Ed and Stede, reunited and having somehow worked through all their issues...revisit their plan to runaway together.

Keeping the theme of FIVE (5), I’ll tag along to @funkypoacher, @pinkfadespirit, @gothkimmyschmidt, @sarsaparillia, and @nirikeehan if any of you all wanna do it!

[izzyspussy]

Ship Ask Game: 4 & 11 any ship?

I'll do both a fandom pairing and an OG pairing, since idk what side of the aisle you're coming from so to speak.

Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

Eddie/Jessica (CTM): Jessica. Eddie is SHY. And also inexperienced in terms of romance and affection. Fred is affectionate but mildly touch-averse, Angel and Dido have been out of the picture for long enough that Eddie can't really remember how showing affection between them went, and she's never had an actual girlfriend before (only hook ups). Also. Lmao. Jessica is intimidating. It's not so much that Eddie always lets her lead because she's insecure or scared of her or whatever, but like. She'll just never not have "butterflies" type nerves, and blush and stutter and all that. And Jessica can't resist kissing her or petting her when she stumbles over being a gentleman. Ed/Izzy (OFMD): Ed, provided we're only counting "words of affirmation" and "physical touch" styles of affection here. Izzy just is not a very touchy guy generally and he doesn't really need as much physical intimacy to be happy and secure as Ed does (though he has no particular problem with it when Ed initiates, even PDA). He also has a thing (autism) about not really knowing where boundaries are and what's appropriate when so he basically just treats every environment like a work environment (the environment that he's most familiar with the Rules of) in terms of intimacy/vulnerability that involves other people. He's also just plain not good with words, except a good ol' theatrical complain/insult (he also has Jewish). Additionally, he really doesn't think how he feels about someone in any specificity is anybody else's fucking business - so while I don't think he'd be too repressed or embarrassed to say "I love you" he'd be a bit consternated for other people to be all up in his business about it. His feelings are perpetually an A-B conversation. HOWEVER. He will do "acts of service" style affection at literally any moment any time in front of anyone at any provocation. And if he doesn't get enough "quality time" style affection he will literally shrivel up and die like a salted slug.

How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

Eddie/Jessica: Eddie is pretty neutral on pet names (in the affectionate way, she likes to use them as emasculating insults lmfaoooooo). Jessica likes them, though! She has a very large pet name vocabulary too. Eddie really only reacts strongly when Jessica uses them in particular ways (i.e. not casually, but Purposefully), in which case they make her feel very Baby. Ed/Izzy: Ed likes them a lot! They're novel for him, because in the past he's had all kinds of affectionate (or not) nicknames with his partners (i.e. "Blackie" and of course we've seen that his actual given name is Something Special too), but never anything sweet. It's a bubbly little thrill every time he's "allowed" to use one. Izzy doesn't use them very much, just because they don't ever occur to him lmfao. He does use Ed's given name a lot though, in that Special way. (And Stede does use pet names a lot, so Ed gets that regardless.) Also when Ed uses one for him, that makes Izzy melt into a brainless sack of goo. The only way he can continue to function is if he has some Specific Task that he can cling to and power through. Ed likes to test him, follow him around while he's assigning chores or whatever, calling him "love" and watch Izzy start to actually physically sweat with the effort to stay focused and not go 🥴 (which he would be embarrassed by).

Ship Basics Ask Game Thanks for asking, anon!

[downinthehull]

I love your fics sm, do you have any wipes or hcs you'd be willing to share?

aw, thank you friend! i'm very glad you like them! xx <3

and so sorry this took so long-but yes! i have a few things i'm willing to share!!! :>

here's a small snippet of a small stede fic i'm workin on!

->->-> Stede turns around quickly at the sound of his name, still holding onto the {trinket} tightly. At the sight of his friend, he quickly dons a smile that is only the tiniest bit exaggerated. 

“Edward!” he calls back, trying to keep his usual cheery tone but finding it becoming increasingly difficult. “Need something?”

Ed just shakes his head and brings his hand up to scratch at the back of his head where his hair is tied up. “No-no, just wanted to check in.” He chuckles, <-<-<-

i can't think of any particular trinket he might be holding, so excuse the {trinket} bit lmao. maybe someone has an idea? the trinket is sort of an important piece of the fic.

the working title is 'small stede and a very clueless ed' :> it's a canon era fic that i sorta imagine set between ep. 5 and 6? if i had to put it somewhere.

-----

here's another small bit of a fic that i honestly haven't worked on in a while-

->->-> Izzy is sitting on his bed, his back leaning against the wall while he plays with one of the ties that are usually wrapped above his elbow. That Lucius had been so kind to untie when Izzy had fussed about them. 

There hasn’t been much talking from Izzy yet. Just a few short sentences in the beginning, that turned into single words, and eventually evolved to babbles. 

Lucius didn’t mind really. He actually found it quite cute. 

“Look at you,” He finds himself cooing. “having fun?”

Izzy just makes a soft noise that sounds like an affirmation. Quickly returning to chewing on one of the ties. <-<-<-

this is from (what is supposed to be) the next fic in my MIHISHAA series-and i apparently haven't edited the doc since september-whoops

-----

here's a couple ideas i have!

stede pretending to be a doctor and taking care of ed (partially written)

the next part of my little izzy w/ cg lucius series (partially written)

the second chapter for Don't Cry, My Dear (partially written)

ed and little izzy wrapping up presents (which i posted on here as an unfinished fic, but i do plan on finishing it!) (halfway written)

mod au jack and little izzy (because jack is soft for izzy and no one can change my mind)

and i actually have an idea for a new series but i'm still not so sure about it- the working title for it is 'Baby Steps'. i'd love to talk about it more if anyone would like to hear more about it!!! there's still plenty of things i'm still trying to plan out for it :3

-----

i have so many WIPs but i have such a hard time finishing them 😔

i know there is literally no pressure to finish them by a certain time, but it stresses me out nonetheless. i honestly dunno why i've been having such a tough time trying to finish a fic-

but maybe writing for a few other fandoms would help? i had started to write about other fandoms but that quickly stopped lmao-but i think i'll be trying to do more of that!

still, how much i post about these pirates shall go unaffected!!! they're my lil guys <3

[whatthefoucault]

It’s day 21 of Stream Ink and today’s word is Insect, so allow me to introduce Stedeflower and Bumblebeedward:

The bee was very good at his job. He possessed a finely-tuned instinct for finding the best wildflower meadows and gardens, his sense of direction was impeccable, he was held in very high esteem in the hive.

So it was a shame that he found it all so dreadfully dull. It was the same old thing, day in, day out, flowers, wiggles, flowers, wiggles, nothing interesting ever happened to him. So it was especially surprising the day he found himself heading back to the hive via the deep, dark forest, and there, he found something very unusual indeed.

Hidden among the ferns and fungus and shade-loving undergrowth was a single, solitary little sunflower. Not the tallest of varieties, but distinct in its cheerful hue.

"Fuck off," said the bee, with incredulous delight: the deep, dark forest was no place for such a sunflower, with its ostentatious, frilly foliage and radiant golden petals, yet here he was anyway.

As he drew closer, he could see it slumped forward, its petals curving sadly downward, its leaves hanging limply.

It was the most beautiful creature the bee had ever seen.

"Oh, hi there," said the sunflower, as cheerfully as he could, attempting to right himself. "I'm afraid I mustn't be making a very good first impression. I'm not having the best of days, you see."

The bee glanced up at the displaced fern frond blocking the sunflower's patch of sky. It must have become stuck in the last rainstorm. "Yeah, I can see that," he said. "You want a hand with that?"

"Oh, if you'd be so kind," replied the sunflower, with a little affirmative shake of his fine foliage.

The bee considered the impediment carefully: it would have been a heavy frond for a solitary bee to lift entirely, but was perched against a vine such that he ought to be able to gently nudge it out of the way. He pushed and pushed with no small effort on his part, almost certain he would do himself an injury in the process, the sigh of relief from his beautiful new friend when the sky was revealed again was more than worth the risk.

"Ahh, that's more like it." The sunflower stretched his petals toward the light with a happy little shake. "Thank you so much."

"No worries," replied the bee, heart so full at the sight of the sunflower's joy that he did a happy little somersault in midair.

"You must think I'm pretty stupid," lamented the sunflower. "A sunflower, in the middle of the deep, dark forest? It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

"Nah, mate," chuckled the bee. "I think it's brilliant. You're out here, taking chances, doing your own thing. That's amazing."

"Oh, well." The sunflower blushed. "That's very nice of you to say. I'm Stede, by the way."

The sunflower bowed, extending a leaf for the bee to land on.

"I'm Ed," replied the bee.

"Pleased to meet you, Ed," the sunflower smiled. "I don't suppose I might interest you in a sip of nectar?"

[gaps-between-stories]

Fic preview

Sneak peek of my WIP OFMD/Bly Manor AU

August 1988 – Revenge, Vermont, USA

He waited until Buttons was out the door and out of their sightline before rounding the counter, deciding that he’d spent far too much time away from him than was entirely acceptable. 

She'll take a tumble on you, roll you like you were dice until you come out blue…

Ed snuck an arm around Stede’s waist, hand slipping just under the hemline of Stede’s shirt, fingers taking root around the soft skin. Nuzzling his face into the crook of Stede’s neck, he took in the ever-familiar scent of orange and vanilla before ghosting a kiss to the underside of Stede’s jaw. 

Stede gave him a sweet little noise in return, the sound traveling straight to space between Ed’s ribs where he kept all of his favorite things tucked away safe. The blonde turned to meet him, pressing their foreheads together as their noses brushed. “Hi you,” he sighed, as if welcoming Ed home. 

And he was, as far as Ed was concerned. Stede was his home, had been for six months, frankly. And everyday that went by without Ed telling him that was the greatest injustice of all, to the most important person he’d ever known. He’d tried waiting as long as he could, afraid that if he moved too quickly he’d scare Stede away, cause all of this to crumble beneath them. 

But God, Stede made loving him easy. 

And as Ed basked in the warmth of Stede’s glow, he knew that he was more sure about this than he’d ever been about anything else before. He was also more sure that he’d combust on the spot if he didn’t tell Stede right fucking now. 

He cleared his throat. “We’ve got a problem, Poppins,” he started, voice low with all the seriousness he could muster in the moment, hoping that Stede couldn’t feel the way his heart was doing it’s fucking best to escape his chest right now.  

Stede started to pull away, shifting to try and look at Ed better. “Oh no,” he sighed, doing his best to keep his voice level behind the growing concern in his eyes. 

Ed held him firm, not letting him separate them fully. “The problem,” he continued, pulling Stede back into his orbit, “is that I’m not sick of you yet. At all.” Stede stared at him a moment, brow furrowed as he processed the words coming from Ed. Ed lifted his thumb to trace over his browline, coaxing them relaxed again before tracing down Stede’s jaw, pulling him closer until 

“And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, lately – ” 

“Well that’s never good,” Stede murmured, the concern in his eyes replaced with something else now.

She's precocious, and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush… 

Ed pinched him underneath his shirt, not enough to hurt but enough to elicit a whine from the other man. “And what I’ve decided,” he scolded, no real bite behind his words, “is that I’m kind of obsessed with you, actually. Don’t think I’m going to be able to get rid of you anytime soon, mate.” 

“Is that so?” Stede was grinning now, those stupidly perfect eyes gazing softly at Ed like he’d hung the moon and all the fucking stars and good God Ed would drown in them forever if Stede let him. 

He hummed in the affirmative, nosing against Stede’s cheek. “I’m actually pretty in love with you, it turns out.” Stede’s breath hitched at the word, chest rising and falling like swells against a ship.

Ed lifted his face to look back at Stede, those glimmering calico eyes boring into his like they were trying to memorize every speck of stardust. “These past few months have been the most fun I’ve had in a long time, maybe ever. And, I think, if you’ll have me, I’d like to try to figure out how to be us, for as long as we can.”

[zacharybosch]

Tasseomancy - chapter 10

🎉party time🎉

chapter 1: tumblr / ao3

chapter 2: tumblr / ao3

chapter 3: tumblr / ao3

chapter 4: tumblr / ao3

chapter 5: tumblr / ao3

chapter 6: tumblr / ao3

chapter 7: tumblr / ao3

chapter 8: tumblr / ao3

chapter 9: tumblr / ao3

read chapter 10 below or on ao3!

The day of the fundraiser rolled around with an almost alarming speed. Stede took the day off work in order to prepare himself, both mentally and physically, and with his hair carefully washed and blow-dried and a selection of positive affirmations circulating on a little merry-go-round in his brain, he walked over to Ed’s house late in the afternoon.

The wind was brisk and blustery, pulling copper-gold leaves off the trees that lined Ed’s street and sending them dancing through the air to drift at Stede’s feet. He was filled with anticipation, expectation, simmering nerves, a little spike of anxiety; like he was teetering on the cusp of something, and both thrilled and terrified at the prospect of toppling over.

Ed greeted him at the door with a peck on the lips and a hand on the small of his back to guide him inside. They’d seen each other a handful of times since their two-part date night of the week before, but they’d kept everything very much above-the-belt (or rather, under-the-belt-but-over-the-clothes); Ed’s knee was still tender and neither of them wanted to risk agitating it so close to the fundraiser.

In the kitchen, Stede put the garment bag containing his suit down on the breakfast bar while Ed put the kettle on and set out two cups with a hefty spoonful of tea leaves in each. The flowers that Stede had bought the week before were still in their tupperware vase, a little raggedy round the edges but still bright and pretty, and clustered at the base was a small collection of shells, fronds of dried out bladderwrack, and other little things Ed had picked up at the beach.

“Ooh, I like your collection,” Stede said, taking a small white cockle shell from the pile and running the pad of his thumb over the chipped exterior ridges. He flipped it over to look inside where it was smoother, yellow and pink and purple like a bruise. “This is pretty.”

“Just like you, pretty little thing that caught my eye at the beach,” Ed said, bringing their tea over to the breakfast bar and settling the cup onto the marble in front of Stede. “There you go. I’ll be right back, I’ve got something else for you as well.”

“Been buying me presents, have you?” Stede called, as Ed disappeared into the living room and then reappeared a few moments later with a couple of small boxes in his hands.

“When am I not buying you presents?” Ed said with a wink. He opened the boxes and put them on the counter, next to the tea cups. It was the necklace and slim cuff bracelets that Stede had ordered last weekend, when he’d come round for breakfast and Ed had dropped his credit card into his lap and told him to be greedy. Little reminders of what Stede was privately thinking of as quite possibly the best day of his life.

“Beautiful,” Stede murmured, picking up the necklace and admiring the bright spill of gold over his fingers. Against the bare backdrop of the kitchen, it almost looked like it was glowing, alive in his hand.

“Beautiful,” Ed agreed, not looking at the necklace. “Let me put it on you.”

Stede placed the necklace into Ed’s hand without a word, cool metal slipping from palm to palm. He stood behind Stede to fasten the chain, his breath and the tips of his fingers hot against Stede’s nape. He pressed a soft kiss to Stede’s skin, over the clasp of the chain, and then he picked up one of the bracelets and put that on too; he slid his fingers under Stede’s palm, and fitted the bracelet over his wrist, and wrapped his hand around it when he was done.

“Do you like it?” Ed whispered, still holding Stede’s wrist.

Of course Stede liked it, he wouldn’t have picked it out if he didn’t. But he knew that Ed wasn’t talking about the bracelet. “I love it,” he said, as something small and tender unfurled inside him. I love you, he thought, easily.

“Stede, I…” Ed trailed off, wide, vulnerable eyes flitting over Stede’s face.

“Yes.” What was Stede agreeing with, agreeing to? He didn’t know, he didn’t care; for Edward, his answer would always be yes. He took the other bracelet from the box, and slipped it onto Ed’s wrist. “Yes,” he said again, just a whispered breath pulled from his lips as Ed drew him close and kissed him slow.

“Let’s drink our tea before it gets cold,” Ed murmured some moments later, gently breaking the silence that had settled over them as they embraced.

Stede’s whole body ached. He wanted to sweep Edward up into his arms and kiss him until his lips were red raw and his legs gave out, and then he wanted to fall to the floor and kiss him some more. He wanted to worship every inch of skin and strand of hair. He wanted, selfishly, to ditch the fundraiser and just stay here, doing this, pretending they were the only two people in the world.

Instead, he kissed Ed quickly, softly, and then reached for his cup of tea. The familiar, comforting aroma of Blue Lady filled Stede’s nose as he brought it to his lips.

“Oh—! Ed, did you forget to use the infusers? It’s full of leaves.”

“Nah, it’s meant to be like that,” Ed said, grabbing his own cup and taking a sip. “I thought we could have a little go at reading our fortunes. See if tonight’s gonna be a bust or not.”

“The tea leaves will tell us that?”

“Maybe. Might tell us something completely different. Might not tell us anything at all. But I thought it’d be fun to try.”

“It does sound fun,” Stede said with a warm, fond smile. “So what do we do? How do the leaves speak to us?”

“Just drink it for now. Leave a little bit of tea when you get to the end, so you can swirl the leaves around in the cup. Then we can look at the shapes they make and try to figure out what they mean!”

As they perched against the breakfast bar and sipped their tea, Ed talked excitedly about the evening ahead. He couldn’t wait to get dolled up, had his suit laid out ready since the night before, and did Stede think it would be overkill if, in addition to the gold belt, he wore rings and necklaces and earrings? He answered his own question before Stede could even open his mouth, but that was okay. Stede just watched him instead, watched the way he curled his hand around his teacup and gestured expansively with it, watched how he absent-mindedly flicked the long, loose tumble of his hair back behind his shoulder. Stede watched the glint of new gold at Ed’s wrist, and he smiled and sipped his tea.

Reluctant though he was to dampen Ed’s excitement, ninety-nine percent of Stede’s prior experiences with these sorts of hoity-toity events had been disappointing in one way or another, and he really didn’t want Ed to get his hopes all the way up only to have them rudely torn down by reality. It was difficult, though, not to let himself get swept away by Ed’s infectious enthusiasm. And the more that Ed talked, the more Stede wondered just why shouldn’t he allow himself to get a little excited? He was just assuming the worst right off the bat; if he went into it with a positive mindset this time, perhaps things could be different. This time, he wouldn’t be pretending to be anyone he wasn’t, suffocating under the weight of everybody else’s expectations. This time, he’d be with Ed.

When the tea was finished, Ed fitted his hand around Stede’s and showed him how to swirl the leaves around in the liquid. “What do you see?” he asked, peering into Stede’s cup.

“It’s… difficult to say, really. Um, lots of leaves.” The clumps of wet leaves at the bottom of his cup all looked very similar to each other, but after shaking the cup a little more and batting Ed’s hand away when he cried out ‘Cheat!’, something vaguely recognisable presented itself. “Is that a… Gosh, is that a knife? Oh dear.” That certainly didn’t bode well for the evening. Perhaps he was right to be cautious and expect the worst after all? “Don’t think I want to try and interpret that. What have you got?”

Ed frowned down at his own cup. “...Sausages,” he said after a long moment. “Hm.”

“Perhaps they’ll have little cocktail sausages on sticks at the fundraiser?” Stede suggested, utterly at a loss for what sausages could mean for Ed’s future.

Ed gave a nonchalant shrug as he pushed away from the breakfast bar. “I hope so,” he said, taking his and Stede’s cups and dumping the leaves out into the bin. “I love teeny tiny versions of normal food. Right. Shall we get changed?”

***

Getting changed with someone else present was certainly a novel experience, and one that Stede was rapidly discovering he wasn’t entirely comfortable with. For the entirety of his marriage, he’d done all his dressing and undressing in the walk-in wardrobe. Possibly the only time Mary ever saw him naked was when she accidentally walked in on him in the shower; they’d conceived their children with lights off, pyjamas on. Ed hadn’t even seen him fully naked yet— not that Stede was deliberately trying to hide, but he also wasn’t exactly hurrying to bare it all, either.

It wasn’t that he hated his body. He’d been through that as a teenager and (mostly) come out the other side. But he was so used to being mocked and belittled for the things he liked that in his mind, daring to like his own body meant he was just giving people another way to laugh at him.

There was a fear, as well, that even if he didn’t get laughed at, he’d still be found wanting in some way. Despite his body being good enough for himself, it wouldn’t be good enough for anyone else. That when all the decoration had been stripped away and it was just him, plain and simple, whoever was looking at him would be disappointed with what they saw.

Stede was slow in removing his clothes; by the time he was halfway down the buttons on his shirt, Ed was already completely naked and pulling a fresh pair of underpants out of his chest of drawers. He was— god. He was so fucking beautiful. The lean lines of his body, long and graceful, each movement flowing into the next; the fuzz of dark hair on his legs, his arms, dusted over his arse, making him look warm and soft and comforting; the ink, everywhere, some of it blurry and faded and some of it still clean and sharp and all of it endlessly fascinating; and that gorgeous cascade of silver-black hair, loose and draped over his shoulders and back, rippling in the light like waves against the shore.

What would Ed see, when he looked at Stede? Something special, or plain, or just good enough? Stede hoped for special. He expected good enough. He feared plain.

“You undoing that shirt stitch by stitch or what? We’ll miss the party at this rate,” Ed said lightly, turning to look at Stede and then frowning gently at what he saw. “Are you alright?”

Stede fidgeted with his cuff, avoiding Ed’s gaze. “Just… not used to getting undressed in front of another person. It’s been a while. You know.”

Ed looked at him appraisingly for a moment, before grabbing a tub of something from the top of the chest of drawers and saying, “Okay. Can you help me with this? Just some goopy stuff for my knee.”

Silently thankful for the excuse to delay undressing a bit longer, Stede went and knelt at the side of the bed where Ed had perched, leg stretched out before him, and took the tub of ointment. “I just rub it in, do I? How much should I use?”

“Just a little blob.” Ed took Stede’s hand and dabbed his finger into the ointment, then directed it onto his knee. “Yeah, over the joint like that and then around the muscle up here as well. Should stave off any funny business tonight.”

While Stede got to work massaging the pungent ointment into Ed’s skin, Ed leaned back on his hands and gave Stede another of those appraising looks. “It’s not just that you’re not used to it. You’re not used to getting your dick sucked either but you took to that like a fish to fuckin’ water. You don’t like getting naked in front of others, do you?”

“Can I really say I don’t like it if I’ve never actually tried doing it?” Stede said with a humourless laugh.

“Body issues?”

“No, I— I like my body just fine. It’s fine. It does its job. It’s never let me down.”

Ed narrowed his eyes, ever so slightly. “Worried I won’t like it, then?”

Oh, god. Now that Ed had actually said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous. Ed had been over the moon at every little part of Stede that he’d got his hands on. How could Stede ever have entertained the idea that Ed would be anything other than absolutely fucking thrilled to see him naked? But as ridiculous as it was, it was still the truth: he had been desperately worried about it. Afraid to see the light in Ed’s eyes dim a little.

He said nothing, and knew that Ed understood.

Slowly, gently, Ed raised his hands to Stede’s chest and began to undo the remaining buttons on his shirt. Stede’s heart hammered in his chest, but he just carried on with the massage and didn’t try to stop him.

“I’ll stop if you want me to,” Ed whispered, when the buttons were all undone and he had his fingers hooked under the collar, ready to slide off. Stede breathed, and nodded in acknowledgement.

Goosebumps followed in the wake of Ed’s fingers, as he pushed the shirt from Stede’s shoulders and traced over the skin. “Freckles,” he said, quietly delighted, and then, “Arms, please,” tapping at Stede’s elbows so he’d stop massaging Ed’s knee.

Stede hung his arms at his sides, and Ed leant forward to push the shirt all the way off, his chest pressing close, hair slipping over his shoulder to brush against Stede’s face. Stede nuzzled into it, eyes closed, breathing deeply. Lavender, citrus, Edward.

He moved to resume the massage, but Ed pushed his hands down gently. “Knee’s done,” he said. “Stand up.”

On legs that were only a little bit shaky, Stede rose to stand in between Ed’s knees. He felt horribly exposed already, and he knew that he could just say the word and Ed would stop immediately, but he also knew that he needed this. He needed to allow Ed to give it to him.

Ed pressed his face into the softness of Stede’s stomach, and kissed the fuzzy trail of hair that led down from his belly button. “You’re so soft,” he said, muffled against Stede’s skin. “I love it. Soft and lovely.” He ran his hands down Stede’s sides, and lingered at the slight dip of his waist. “And what’s this little waist for, huh? Just for me to wrap my hands around? Gorgeous.”

It was the most concentrated positive physical attention he’d ever received in his life, and Stede wasn’t entirely sure he knew how to deal with it. His hands trembled, and he placed one on Ed’s shoulder, and said, “Edward, please—”

“Should I stop?” Ed was looking up at him, chin pressed into the slight give of his belly, eyes big and searching and faintly concerned, hands squeezing comfortingly at his sides.

“No, I just— I don’t know how to handle this.”

“You don’t have to handle it. React however your body wants to. Don’t think about it.”

“Okay,” Stede said helplessly, and immediately burst into tears. “Shit. Shit.”

Ed stood then, folded his arms around Stede and cradled the back of his head. “It’s okay,” he whispered, rocking Stede gently in the circle of his arms. “It’s okay.”

“I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m not upset!”

“I think you’re just… feeling. A lot. And it needs to come out somehow.” Ed pulled back, and cupped his hands around Stede’s wet cheeks. “Do you want me to carry on?”

Stede sniffed, and then met Ed’s gaze, eyes red and lashes stuck in wet little spikes. “Yes. But I think I’m gonna cry some more as well.”

“Good. Let it out. Cry all over me.”

Stede laughed, and sobbed, and hiccupped. He was a mess, but he didn’t feel like a mess when Ed smiled and wiped a thumb over his cheeks, and then sat back down on the edge of the bed to work his trousers open.

“Sexy fuckin’ hips,” Ed muttered, as he peeled the fabric away and let it drop to the floor. He reached down to lift Stede’s feet one by one and slip the trousers off, but pulled up short when he got to Stede’s calves. “I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me like this, man,” he said incredulously. “These legs, fucking hell. How could you ever be worried that I wouldn’t like them, Stede, holy shit. These are supermodel legs.”

“Oh my god,” Stede moaned, equal parts flattered and embarrassed, as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. “I— do quite like my legs,” he admitted, in between sniffles.

“Yeah, fuck, I’ve gotta take you on holiday somewhere hot so you can parade about in some tiny little shorts. I could spend all day rubbing sun cream on these legs. Wrap ‘em round my waist while I fuck you on a sun lounger.”

“All expenses paid?” Stede asked, blinking through his tears.

“All expenses fuckin’ paid babe, you can leave the wallet at home.”

Stede took a deep, wobbly breath, and draped his arms around Ed’s neck. “I feel so st—”

“Nope, nope, do not fucking say it,” Ed interrupted, slapping playfully against Stede’s thigh. “There’s nothing for you to feel stupid about.”

He gave a watery smile, and tried again. “I feel very…” What was he feeling, now that Ed’s light had burned away some of the fog clouding his mind? Understood, cared for, content, seen? “Loved.”

For a moment they were both very still, looking at each other, breathing together, feeling the air in the space between them. “You are,” Ed whispered.

Once Stede’s tears had dried and his heart had slowed, they resumed getting ready. Ed insisted on doing his hair while he was still naked— to avoid getting lots of little strands stuck to his suit, he said, innocently. Still perched on the edge of the bed, he spritzed his hair with a bottle of something lovely and smelly and pulled a wide-toothed comb gently through the sweep of his curls. He was soft and glowing in the last of the sunlight that streamed through the window as evening gathered up outside, a vision amongst messy sheets.

They had to pause at every item of clothing that was put on, to admire and flirt and touch at every slow stage of dressing, like a strip show in reverse. Stede buckled Ed’s belt on for him. Ed fastened Stede’s cufflinks into his shirt. He’d let Ed fuck him over the phone, had touched and kissed and watched Ed while he brought himself off in the bath, knew the heat of his mouth and the shape of his dick, and yet this felt far more intimate than any of that. He rested a hand against Ed’s sternum, felt the steady thump of his heart, and kissed him.

Stede would’ve been perfectly happy if that had been their evening, undressing and redressing and then maybe undressing again. But duty called, and they made their way downstairs to start putting on shoes and coats.

As they did a final once-over in the hallway mirror, Stede started fretting over his hair, fiddling with his cufflinks, retying his shoes. His mood had lifted and lifted while they were getting ready, Ed’s devoted worship of his body and the ritual of dressing up doing wonders for his nerves — but suddenly it all came crashing down around him, and he felt incredibly anxious again about going to this fundraiser, having to mix with a crowd he thought he’d left behind for good. It hadn’t truly felt real up until this moment; it had all been just some far-off excuse for spending time with Edward and going shopping for fancy clothes, but now the reality of it was looming on the other side of the front door, and Stede was finding it very difficult to make himself put one foot in front of the other.

Ed noticed, despite Stede’s best efforts to be subtle about it, and stopped in front of the door to give Stede’s shoulders a squeeze. “Nervous? I thought you’d been to loads of these things before,” he said carefully.

“Yes, I have… but they’re not always the easiest affairs to navigate. Difficult to have fun when everyone else there is viewing it as a pissing contest. They’ll be sucking up to you one minute then talking shit about you the next. It’s all a bit of a headfuck. I just thought I’d never have to do anything like this again, you know? And, well…” Stede trailed off, worrying at the buttons on his blazer.

Ed gently pulled Stede’s fingers away from his buttons, and held onto his hands. “Careful man, you’ll pull ‘em off. What’s bothering you?”

“I’m just worried I’ll see someone there. Nigel Badminton. He has his fingers in quite a few pies down at the docks, so I imagine he’s been invited. Prominent local businessman and all that, even though he’s a complete arsehole.”

“Yeah, I know the fucker,” Ed sneered. “He’s been trying to get his grubby hands on my warehouses for years, always coming to me with these stupid merger ideas or just straight up trying to poach my contracts. You know him, or something?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Stede said with a grimace. “The Badmintons are a very old family in this town and my father was in deep with them. Nigel and I grew up together, same boarding school. He and his gaggle of friends tortured me mercilessly for years. Of course now he looks back on it as all just fun and games, boys being boys, but—”

Ed squeezed his hands, thumbs rubbing over his knuckles. “It stays with you, doesn’t it? Can fuck your whole life up, sometimes. And to them it was just another Tuesday afternoon.”

“Exactly. And as if being bullied relentlessly by him wasn’t enough, the one time I tried to fight back I accidentally injured him quite badly, and then I was given all the punishments that he never got.” The injustice of it all still rankled, even all these years later, even as some small part of Stede felt foolish at holding onto the grudge for so long. “I would’ve been expelled from the school if my father hadn’t promised to make a very, very big donation that year.”

“Fuck off,” Ed gasped, as realisation began to dawn on his face. “Is that why he has that scar and the glass eye?! He told me it was from single-handedly fighting off a gang of muggers. Always sounded like bullshit to me.”

“I’m afraid it is. I— hit him with a paperweight. Grabbed it from the teacher’s desk, swung a little too hard. I smacked him right in the eye socket, even cracked the bone! And the eye itself was fucked after that.”

“Fucking hell, nice one,” Ed said, with an approving grin. “That was very sexy of you, my little skull-smasher. I hope you’re proud of it.”

“I am. He deserved it. I do enjoy seeing the scar on his eye socket, but I would much rather never have to see or speak to him ever again to be perfectly honest. Even after all this time, he can still make me feel like I’m ten years old again if he wants to.”

“If he tries anything, I’ll fuckin’ smash his other eye out. If he so much as breathes weird around you.”

“You’d do that for me?” Stede asked, blushing, as if Ed had offered something sweet and lovely and definitely not something that came with a five-year prison sentence.

Ed brought Stede’s hands up to his mouth, and kissed gently against his knuckles. “For you, I would smash the eyes of every damn person in the room.”

***

The fundraiser was shaping up to be blessedly average and uneventful. For all the attendees tried to act like it was the Academy Awards or the Met Gala or tea with the Queen, they were still just a bunch of boring people milling around in conference suite B of a tired seaside hotel, looking for any chance to show off.

The event space itself wasn’t too bad. Some nice floral arrangements lining the walls, strings of twinkly lights hanging from the ceiling, and lots and lots of waiters wandering around with trays of very moreish canapés. There was even a string quartet positioned in a discreet corner of the room, playing inoffensive arrangements of popular songs, and a couple of wandering magicians who would approach the little clusters of guests and wow them with cheesy card tricks and pulling roses out of thin air.

Of course, the real entertainment at these things was always the guests themselves, not that they knew it. Stede took great pleasure in sharing with Ed the game he always used to play when attending an event like this: Insufferable Arsehole Bingo. He would decide on a selection of preposterous topics of conversation, gauche behaviours, ugly designer labels, or tacky watches that somehow still cost at least six figures, and if he could check them all off his mental list within the first hour of arriving at the event then he would give himself permission to go home early as a reward. This time, Ed decided that the reward should be sneaking off to fool around in the toilets.

Much to Stede’s relief, there was no painful dinner to endure; just cocktails and canapés, a silent auction, a few boring speeches, and a presentation about the beachfront regeneration project that the evening was in aid of. Now that he was there in the middle of it, whispering and giggling with Ed whenever they spotted another item to check off their bingo card, Stede felt better than he thought he would. The evening might even turn out to be genuinely pleasant.

They milled around for a little while as various speakers droned on in the background, eating far too many canapés and idly browsing the prizes on offer for the silent auction. It was all silly nonsense: a phrenology course from a questionable private university, shares in a new business venture that looked suspiciously like a pyramid scheme, tickets for a seminar about how cryptocurrency was the future, and Ed point blank refused to put his money down on any of it.

“Is this really the kind of shit your people are into?” he asked, flipping through a brochure with an incredulous look on his face. “I thought it would be boats and holidays and iPhones, not fuckin’ snake oil. What a joke.” Ed sighed despondently as he chucked the brochure back onto the table and drained off the rest of his drink, some frothy, sugary confection with a twist of orange peel sitting at the bottom. “At least the drinks are nice. Do you want another one?”

“Oh, yes please. Same again, thank you.” Stede handed his empty glass to Ed, and watched as he sauntered away to the bar. Despite the fun they’d managed to make for themselves, he could tell that Ed was feeling a bit let down; Stede had seen the excitement in his eyes slowly start to fizzle out not even five minutes after they’d first set foot inside the door. At least it was just that though, a little bit of a let down, rather than being completely and horrifically awful.

They could probably enjoy another drink or two, perhaps go and fool around in the toilets anyway even though they didn’t complete their bingo card, and then call it a night and— oh no. Oh no no no. Stede would recognise that laugh anywhere.

Nigel Badminton had entered the room, talking loudly and obnoxiously, and he was looking around to see who was paying him attention and approval, and he was catching Stede’s eye, and he was hollering in sadistic glee, and he was walking over, and—

“Baby Bonnet! Didn’t think you’d ever show your face around these parts again! How’d you even get an invite, are they doing charitable outreach to the under-privileged or what?”

Stede clenched his fingers behind his back and reminded himself to breathe. “Nigel, how nice to see you. I’m actually a guest—”

“Ah, got someone more successful to take pity on you, did you? I should’ve known, Baby Bonnet always crying for someone else to take care of him! Not interested in an honest hard day’s work like the rest of us.”

As if Nigel had ever done anything that was honest. Or hard. Or could even be classed as ‘work’. “I’m supporting my friend—”

“Hah! Supporting a friend. I remember how soft you are, you couldn’t support a wet paper bag.”

Stede gave a very strained smile, and started to fiddle with the bracelet at his wrist, and repeated over and over in his head: Don’t listen to him, don’t rise to it, I’m soft and that’s fine, Edward likes that about me, I’m soft and I still managed to smash his fucking eye out. And then, more desperately, Where the fuck is Edward?

“Still, nice that you’re making yourself useful I suppose,” Nigel carried on blithely. “I’m sure everyone here is getting a kick out of seeing you prance about in… whatever it is, that you’re wearing. Very… quirky.”

Just as Stede began to fantasise about a huge paperweight falling through the ceiling and directly onto Nigel’s head, Ed appeared at his elbow, handing him his drink and draping a heavy, possessive arm around his shoulders. “Babe, is this guy bothering you?”

“Um—” Stede began, before he was rudely interrupted yet again.

“Ed Teach, the man of the moment! I was hoping to run into you here. I’ve got a very interesting investment opportunity for you, quite the little money-maker if I do say so myself. Would be great if we could have a chat about it somewhere,” Nigel glanced dismissively back at Stede, “private.”

Ed took a long, ponderous sip of his drink. “Sorry mate, have we met before?”

“Wh— Yes of course we have, Ed, I brought you that merger proposal last year, do you not remember? You missed out on a solid deal there, I have to say, we could’ve made millions!” Nigel said, starting to look a little strained and doing a terrible job of hiding it.

“Nah, doesn’t ring a bell. You new in town?”

Nigel spluttered, face turning red. “New? Eddie, come on now, you’re pulling my leg aren’t you? Is this a prank, am I on camera? Ohhh, that’s why you’re here with Baby Bonnet! This is a joke isn’t it, a little stitch up?” Nigel started to laugh a little nervously as he looked around the room, seeking out the hidden cameras and the paid actors.

While Nigel continued his annoying, wheezing laugh, Ed turned to Stede and whispered in his ear, “Can I punch him? He called you Baby Bonnet. I really want to punch him.”

“If you punch him, he’ll just play the victim and get you thrown out. But I think I know something else that will be far better at knocking him out.” Stede turned his face into Ed’s and nuzzled against his nose. “Kiss me.”

Ed smiled, and made a rumbling noise deep in his chest, and pressed his lips softly against Stede’s. For just a moment, the world contracted and it was just the two of them there at the centre of the universe, pressing lips and foreheads together, looking at each other beneath half-lidded eyes and feeling perfectly, blissfully content.

“No, this has got to be a joke, who on earth would want Baby Bonnet…” Nigel looked between Stede and Ed with an uncomprehending expression, laughter finally dying in the back of his throat. “He’s a nobody, squandered his fortune and his father’s legacy, signed over the businesses to his wife of all people… Eddie, be serious now, he’s not— he’s not one of us anymore, he’s a failure—”

That had been the exact wrong thing to say. Ed snapped his gaze back to Nigel, all playfulness gone, and very quietly, very calmly, said, “Stede already took one of your eyes. If you don’t walk away right this fucking second, I would be absolutely fucking thrilled to hold you down while he takes the other one.”

Nigel’s face, already red, began to turn a deeply unattractive shade of purple. “How dare— To— to think I took pity on you— Offered you a hand when you were clearly struggling to run things properly—”

“The only thing I struggled with was not immediately stabbing you in your fucking face when you tried to offer me a fifteen percent share in my own fucking company. Now fuck off.” Ed growled. He took a half step forward, a warning flashing clear in his dark eyes, and Nigel flinched. “Don’t make me tell you again.”

Thoroughly cowed, Nigel did as he was told, and slunk away with his tail firmly between his legs. Ed stared after him, glowering, body thrumming with tension. “That— fucking prick, absolute fucking piece of shit— Struggling to run my own business, who the fuck does he think he is?”

Stede placed a cool, soothing hand against Ed’s flaming hot cheek. “Thank you, Edward. You didn’t have to do that. I’m sorry he tried to insult you too.”

“No, I— I know he just spouting bullshit, I don’t fuckin’ care what he said about me, not really. But fuck, man. What a cunt. I hate that he managed to rile me up so easily like that.”

“Well for what it’s worth, I think he’ll be having a long, hard think before trying anything like that again. You even made me seem a bit menacing, reminding him about the eye! I’m sure he’s tried very hard to believe his own lies about that over the years.”

“You’re menacing as fuck Stede, don’t need my help with that,” Ed said, nuzzling into Stede’s hand. He closed his eyes and took a few deep, calming breaths, and when he opened them again there was a curious little glint there. “So, do you wanna get your own back?”

“I told you Ed, we can’t punch him here—”

“No I know, but you said this crowd loves to talk shit behind people’s backs. And I happen to know a lot of shit about Nigel Badminton.”

Stede’s interest was immediately piqued. Maybe they could turn this evening around after all. “Really? How?”

“He’s pretty careless about what he leaves lying around in his office. The few times I ever bothered entertaining his shitty business proposals, I saw plenty of things that I don’t think he’d want anyone knowing about.” The obnoxious sound of Nigel’s laughter drifted over from the far side of the room, and Ed scowled. “Probably thought it was safe to leave out because I was too thick to know what I was seeing.”

“Well joke’s on him, I think you’ve got more smarts in your big toe than the entire Badminton family put together.” Stede slipped his arm around Ed’s waist, and began walking them over to a quiet corner, a sadistic sort of excitement brewing in his chest. “So what’s the dirt? And who are we telling?”

“Oh, you are gonna love this. So basically, he’s been syphoning money…” Over the course of the next twenty minutes, Ed listed off all the dodgy shit he’d seen evidence of, some of it questionable, some of it downright illegal, and a lot of it that was just very, very embarrassing. Ed had kept it all in his head for years, not necessarily planning on doing anything with it but keeping it carefully guarded anyway, should an opportunity ever present itself.

There were the basics, which Stede had fully expected since it was standard practice for most of the people in the room: tax-avoidance through a number of shell companies, off-shore accounts, and ‘charitable donations’; a little light money laundering through the Badminton family’s philanthropic foundation; some fudging of numbers and some writing off holiday homes as business expenses.

Then there was the juicier stuff: regular monthly outgoings to several former employees that looked an awful lot like hush-money; a string of failed workplace safety inspections dating back years, that had all been aggressively covered up; embezzlement, racketeering, an honestly staggering amount of insider trading; and perhaps most embarrassingly of all for Nigel, undeniable proof that his companies were failing. He was an absolutely atrocious businessman who was haemorrhaging money left and right, and was deeply in debt to several very unsavoury and very dangerous individuals.

“My god,” Stede said, a little dumbfounded. Ed had spilled enough to ruin not only Nigel, but probably the entire Badminton family. “Wow. And you got all this just from stuff that was lying out in the open on his desk?”

“Well. Mostly. Might’ve opened a couple filing cabinets… logged in to a couple email accounts…” Ed mumbled under his breath. “I mean, anyone who uses their surname as their password and then also keeps it written on a sticky note next to their computer deserves to have their shit broken into, you know?”

“You don’t have to justify it to me, Ed. Let’s burn the fucker.”

Everyone was eager to rub shoulders with Ed, now that he was wealthy enough that they deemed him worthy of their time. Nevermind that he’d run a stable and successful business for many years; it wasn’t until his net worth had grown into the millions that they even deigned to acknowledge him. The casual snobbery of it sat uncomfortably in the back of Stede’s throat, as they worked their way around the room and he watched an endless procession of the worst sorts of people gush about how much they’d always admired Ed and his ‘entrepreneurial spirit’.

On the plus side, it made their plan exceedingly easy. As the current It Girl of the local business scene, Ed could say basically anything he wanted and people would lap it all up without a second thought, falling over their feet to agree with anything he said even when it directly contradicted their own views. The canapés are tasteless? Oh yes absolutely, I only ate so many to be polite. The regeneration of the beachfront being handled by private developers is simply guaranteeing the further gentrification and homogenization of a historically low-income and diverse area? But of course, I said just the same thing the other day. Nigel Badminton is letting gangs move drugs through his warehouses? What a despicable man, I always knew he was a crook, I’ll certainly not let him sponsor the annual charity fun run next year.

“Is that true?” Stede asked, as a woman in a very gaudy evening dress made her excuses to them both, and walked away to start immediately gossiping with her friends. “About the drugs?”

Ed shrugged. “Meh, I dunno. Could be. Don’t think it really matters to this lot though.” He looked around the room, at all the greedy little weasels so eager to turn on one of their own, and shuddered. “Do you wanna get out of here? This place is giving me a fuckin’ rash.”

The room was abuzz with outraged, gossiping voices when they left, slipping out via the fire exit and into the car park. The eminently gratifying sound of Nigel Badminton whining ‘That’s not true, I swear, of course I still have the funds to honour our deal!’ was cut off as the door swung shut behind them, and then they were alone together under the clear night sky. The moon was huge and glowing above them, the air was blissfully cool, and a strong breeze soughed through the bordering trees.

“Sorry that didn’t turn out to be as fun as you’d hoped,” Stede said, sliding his fingers between Ed’s as they made their way across the tarmac. The car park was fairly empty, most attendees having made use of taxis or personal chauffeurs, but there were a few vehicles dotted around with tinted windows and custom number plates and other tasteless details.

Ed sighed expansively. “Not your fault, babe. You did warn me what it would be like. I know I’m in their good graces at the moment, but it was kinda scary how willing they were to turn on Nigel just like that. Not that he doesn’t absolutely deserve it, but fuck me. Fickle pricks, the lot of them.” They stopped in a pool of light cast down by one of the tall overhead streetlamps, and Ed lifted their joined hands to twirl Stede around. “Besides, at least we got to show off these sexy outfits. I reckon that photographer from the newspaper got some cool pics of us.”

Stede giggled, delighted, as he overbalanced and fell into Ed’s waiting arms. “It was definitely worth it just to see you looking drop-dead gorgeous in this suit,” he said, running his hands over the drapey fabric and slipping just the tips of his fingers beneath the collar. “How about we go— Oh, shit, Ed, look over there!” He pointed excitedly at a hideously ostentatious sports car over in the corner of the car park, eyes sparkling with mischief.

“What am I looking at, that ugly fucking car? What about it?”

“That’s Nigel’s car. Come on, quick.” Stede pulled Ed towards the car at a brisk jog, glancing furtively from side to side. He let go of Ed’s hand and pulled his front door key from his pocket, and without hesitation dragged it down the full length of the car. The deep scratch it left on the paintwork was incredibly satisfying, so Stede did it again, and again. “Fuck you, Nigel,” he grunted, as he went in for a fourth scratch.

“Stede, fucking hell, someone might see us.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I know this hotel, they don’t pay their security guys nearly enough to deal with this kind of shit. No-one will bother us. And besides,” Stede said, turning to gaze innocently up at Ed, “if anyone comes asking what we’re doing, I’m sure you’re more than capable of offering a financial incentive to keep them going on their way. Everyone has their price, after all.”

Ed’s face immediately turned from concerned to conspiratorial. “Fuck it, if you say so. Here, what about this?” he said, and pulled a knife from his boot.

“Oh my god Ed, you’ve got a knife?! Do you always have that on you?”

“Hey, a knife’s a really handy tool. Always good to have a knife. Check this out.” He flipped the knife end-over-end, just to show off, then grabbed it firmly by the handle and sank it deep into one of the car’s tyres. “Fuck you, Nigel,” he said with a cheery grin.

Ed ended up puncturing and slashing all four of Nigel’s tires, as well as kicking in his headlights and putting a couple of deep scratches alongside the ones made by Stede. They snapped off the wing mirrors and shoved a pebble up into the exhaust pipe and Stede couldn’t believe how good it felt to just break stuff. Slowly turning a conference room full of Nigel’s peers against him had been fun, but gleefully and wantonly vandalising his car was satisfying in a much more primal, visceral way.

“Reckon he’ll know it was us?” Ed asked, admiring their handiwork.

The wind had picked up a little, and crispy yellow leaves were swirling and gusting around them, skittering over the car and disappearing into the night. Ed’s hair whipped about his face, and got into his mouth as he laughed. Stede’s chest was heaving and his eyes were bright and he laughed too, wildly. “I’d be offended if he didn’t!”

Ed pulled Stede into his arms, there in the dark next to the ruin of Nigel’s car. “It’s nice to see you cut loose. Looks good on you. You should do it more often.” He walked forwards, until Stede’s legs hit the car, and then he leaned in to capture Stede’s mouth in a heated kiss, and kept on leaning until they were lying flat against the bonnet. Stede brought his arms up to coil around Ed’s neck, and hooked a leg over his hip.

They kissed messily, uncaring, draped over the scene of their crime, until Stede pulled back and whispered, “Take me home, Edward,” his cheeks flushed pink and his eyes dark.

[barkilphedros-hat]

Ed’s love language being physical touch and Stede recognising it by giving Ed his hand in the bathtub scene while Stede’s love language being words of affirmation and Ed recognising it by telling Stede he’s what makes Ed happy…

Ed’s constantly reaching for Stede physically (and I could go ON about him using his arm as a protective bracket around Stede while Stede was recovering from his stab wound but I’ll just start throwing up-) but when he’s upset in the bathtub Stede reaches out his hand and TOUCHES ED FIRST. He already tried using his affirmative words “I’m your friend” only for Ed to shake his head and say no while in tears, so he tries a way he knows Ed will accept, a physical touch.

Likewise, Stede is forever showering Ed with little compliments. “I think you’re very sophisticated”/ “You taught me well” etc. In episode 9 when Stede’s sitting by himself on the beach the first thing Ed says is that his idea wasn’t bad, shushing Stede when he starts getting self-deprecating. He also gently comforts Stede when Stede’s recovering by assuring him he’s better than all the dead pirates he knows. Ed also uses his words first when on the beach with Stede, affirming that he makes Ed happy. He recognises that Stede needs to hear these things, needs to hear that someone thinks he’s worth something 😭

They both use the other’s love language when the other’s feeling vulnerable and if HBO doesn’t give us a second season I’m gonna start biting people.

[raggedy-dxctor]

If you have time for it can you consider doing an Izzy Hands x reader fic? Anything from platonic angst to pinning this skruckly man like one of those bugs in glass cases- what ever you think is best/comfortable with (love ur writing btw, it’s rlly good)

abso fucking lutely i can, i didn't think anyone would ever ask

mutual pining with izzy hands

pairing(s): izzy hands x gn!reader, brief mentions of oluwande x jim, lucius x black pete and edward x stede

warnings: mutual pining that results in a relationship, slight angst, slight deviation from plot (relationship between ed and stede is somewhat established on ship, stede never leaves), probably ooc izzy <3

izzy is the type to repress the feeling that he has for you out of sheer embarrassment and shame.

he feels like you could do so much better than him, especially since you've seen him do some horrible things, seeing as you've been apart of blackbeard's crew for so long too, so he'll just stare longingly at you across the room and imagine you next to him, your hand wrapped in his as he leans his head against yours

sometimes he sees you joking around with stede and just wants to run over and sweep you off your feet, he knows stede is committed and loyal to his boss, but he still can't help the twinge of jealousy

i feel like lucius picked up on the mutual feelings really fast? but only told nlack pete, who often point out the signs of your mutual feelings to eachother.

"look, babe, their pinkie fingers are interlocked!" "lucius, is it me or have they been staring into eachother's eyes for waaaay too long?" "izzy has been a little less agressive lately, don't ya think?"

ed definitely noticed a small change in izzy, but couldn't pinpoint why, so he fills stede in and stede is equally as clueless

i feel like one night izzy's desperation to be in your arms just gets so overwhelming that he just sits on his bed, with his head in his hands, when he would usually be bossing the crew around. lucius goes to check on him because it feels weird without him bossing them around and he just. finds izzy as a shell of the man he usually is

"izzy-?" "get the fuck out!" "izzy were you- crying?" "sigh no i was just pitying myself" and then they have an entire therapy session that izzy is reluctant to even talk in. eventually he opens up about liking someone and lucius goes "ok so you like them, y/n i mean, are you gonna do anything about it?!" izzy just freezes, his jaw hitting the floor

from that moment on, izzy finds himself feeling a lot less comfortable with showing his feelings for you. he'd do stuff like smile fondly at you for absolutely no reason, accept your hugs (and even prolong them), gently reach for your hand under the table, he even finds himself getting sleepy when it's just the two of you in a room together, he usually never feels that comfortable around anyone

as soon as he notices the feelings reciprocated, he takes the opportunity once you're alone together to gently pull you closer towards him and kiss you, honestly after it he's left stunned by his own confidence, but as soon as you reciprocate the kiss he just melts and grins

i feel like his love language is either physical touch, acts of service or words of affirmation, so once you confess your adoration for eachother he's the sweetest man you've ever met. every chance he gets he'll say "i love you" or praise you for something you've done on the ship today, even if it's just cheered Edward up or got rid of some pesky birds, this man is s whipped that he'll shower you with praise. "thank you so much darling, you did amazing today"

one time, you had a really good idea to cheer ed up so he just lit up and ran over to you, kissed you and then dashed towards ed's room, only realising his mistake once he got to the door of ed's room. to make it worse he was grinning like an idiot and shouted "oh my god! you're fucking brilliant!" atter he kissed you and ran off.

for the rest of the week, everyone just stared at him like a vulture, dumbfounded expressions on their faces as they struggled to comprehend how they hadn't noticed anything before, surely you'd been a thing for ages for izzy to even think about doing that? lucius just stood there, leaning against the rail with a sly smirk on his face. "you knew lucius?!" olu and jim just kinda gawk as lucius innocently shrugs

after a while the shock blew over and everyone just accepted that you and izzy were a thing, despite neither of you directly telling them that the two of you were dating. the only exception to that was ed.

"so, izzy, ive heard a rumour that you and y-" izzy just groans and throws his head back, already knowing what's about to come. "yeah- we are" he sighs, his eyes flashing back up to his boss for a sign of approval, only to see ed with a proud smile on his face, he claps izzy on the shoulder and congratulates him "im proud of you iz, you deserve eachother more than anything on this planet deserves air, i've always thought the two of you would be perfect together, i'm so glad you've finally found the one that'll stop you from being such an ass" he grins after finishing and chuckles, clearly showing that he's joking, and then he goes on a ramble about how he tried to set the two of you up once, but neither of you noticed. izzy finds himself tearing up slightly at the words and even gives ed a small smile. he rushes off to tell you all about it, only to find ed had done the exact same thing to you a day before, but ed had poured more feeling and pride into his words to izzy.

after that izzy vows not to give a single shit what anyone else thinks and proudly wraps an arm around you infront of the crew, after a while they just get used to it snd just completely normalize the new lovey dovey izzy

he's even more accepting and positive of ed and stede's relationship after it, it's as if the pure, unbridled love and adoration for you has defeated the anger and hatred that previously defined him