#i think best case scenario would be both knowing and internally thinking ‘it’s just mutually assured blackmail’

[windrunner]

my derangement

not even projecting too hard i just think both of them are like this fr

^^^ my evil and horrible guygals (heart emojis flying around my head) ^^

[annafayeink]

Canvas of Lies

summary: Cate’s life is a careful balance of paint-splattered sweaters, rejection emails, and dreams too big to fit in her tiny apartment. Lu’s life is all charm, designer sneakers, and family obligations that come with impossible expectations. They’re best friends, polar opposites—and suddenly fake dating to help Lu survive a high-stakes family dinner. What starts as an improvised act becomes a whirlwind of tangled stories, unspoken truths, and moments that blur the line between pretend and reality. In the chaos of lies they craft together, Cate and Lu might just uncover the truths they’ve been avoiding all along.

warnings & tags: best friends to lovers; fake dating; mutual pining; slow burn; emotional hurt/comfort; fluff, angst & humor; eventual romance & smut;

Chapter Two

Lu leaned against the counter, absently playing with a baguette like a philosopher pondering the mysteries of life. “You know, the key to a convincing lie is to anchor it in truth.”

“Is that so?” I lifted an eyebrow at him, crossing my arms.

“Absolutely,” he replied, unflinching, dipping into the professorial voice he reserved for when he was lecturing someone. “It's basic psychology. People are more likely to believe a lie if it's anchored in something real. That's why we should stick to things we know—places we visit often, mutual friends, things we've both experienced in some way. It makes the story feel lived-in. Plausible.”

“I'll take your word for it, Professor Mangione.” I bit back a grin. “You seem disturbingly good at lying. Should I be worried?”

“I've read my fair share of books on human behaviour.” Lu smirked, picking up the baguette before resuming his pacing like a man on a mission.

“Remind me never to play poker with you.”

He chuckled. “Truth is, lying is not much different from storytelling. The same principles apply. Every great story needs a consistent internal logic. If we’re going to make this convincing, we need to think like writers.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t deny that his point made sense. “Fine, O Wise One. How do we make our fake relationship Pulitzer-worthy?”

“Glad you asked.” Suddenly animated, he gestured wildly with the baguette as he spoke. “People believe what feels authentic. If our story has details that are too perfect or too rehearsed, it'll fall apart. People will start picking at them—”

“Like a loose thread on a sweater, yeah.”

“But if it's imperfect, unpredictable, and grounded in who we are… then it works.”

“I can do imperfect,” I say. “My life is one big ball of entropy.”

“Exactly,” Lu grinned like I'd just proven his point. “If we lean into that, sprinkle in a few real moments—your terrible dancing, my savior complex—we’ll be untouchable.”

“Terrible dancing?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“You're right,” he replied with mock seriousness. “That was unfair. ‘’Terrible’ doesn't quite capture it.”

I threw a balled-up napkin at him, laughing despite myself.

“We will need to set some rules,” he declared, jabbing the bread in my direction for emphasis. “Without rules, things get messy.”

“Messy? Like crumbs on my floor?” I flicked a stray flake from the croissant he’d brought over earlier, trying to keep a straight face.

Lu shot me a sharp look and placed the baguette on the counter again. “I’m serious. If we're not convincing enough, my mother will sniff out the truth faster than you can say ‘respectable’.”

I couldn't imagine what his mother would do if she found out we were faking it. I'm guessing it would probably involve shame, a string of painfully awkward family dinners for him and absolute social suicide for me.

“And what happens if she does?” I asked, arching a brow. “What’s the worst-case scenario here, Lu? You get disowned and have to slum it with the rest of us peasants?”

His smile faltered, just for a fraction of a second, but long enough for me to notice the way his shoulders stiffened. A tiny pang of guilt pierced my heart. I’d only meant to tease, but something about his expression made me wonder if there was more truth to my words than I realized. The smirk that followed was smooth, almost too smooth, like a patch slapped over something cracked.

“Actually, worst-case scenario, she tries to set me up with someone like…” He grimaced comically. “Anastasia Ricci.”

That made me wince instinctively. Everyone knew about Anastasia Ricci. From what I’d heard, she collected red flags like they were limited-edition handbags. “Fair point. Let’s avoid that.”

“So,” he clapped his hands, the motion as confident as if he were running a boardroom meeting instead of scheming in my tiny apartment. “Shall we build our magnum opus of fake love?”

I snorted, grabbing a notebook from my desk. I couldn't decide if his ability to spin convincing lies so effortlessly was impressive or just a little unnerving. I decided I wasn't ready to find out, so I leaned into humor instead. “If this ends up being more work than my actual relationships, I’m charging you for my time.”

While I wrote Fake-relationship Commandments in all captions at the top of the page, Lu plopped down on the couch next to me.

When he took a peak at the notebook, he laughed that easy, confident laugh of his. “Okay.” Rule number one: no going off-script.”

First commandment: thou shalt not improvise, I wrote.

“If the details don't align, people start asking questions,” he continued. “Questions lead to scrutiny. Scrutiny leads to exposure. We have to commit to it completely, because it is confidence that sells the story. Act like you belong in the lie, and most people won't even think to question it.”

“The more real it feels to us, the harder it is for anyone else to see through,” I agreed. “So, what's the timeline here?”

He thought for a moment. “If anyone asks, we’ve been dating for six months.”

“Six months?” I frowned. “Why not three? It’s more believable.”

“I think three is too short. Six gives us enough time to seem serious but not so long that people wonder why they haven’t met you before.”

I sighed, conceding with a small shrug. “Fine. Six months. How did we meet?”

He grinned with a familiar mischievous glint in his eye. “Obviously, I saw you painting one of your masterpieces in the park and was so captivated I tripped over a bench trying to talk to you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Please. If anyone was tripping, it’d be me. Over my own feet.”

“Okay, fine.” He laughed again, the sound warm and unguarded. “How about we met through a mutual friend? Chelsea, maybe? She’s always dragging people to those weird wine-and-paint nights.”

“That works,” I said, nodding and scribbling.

“We also need specific touchpoints—milestones,” Lu said, his tone growing more thoughtful. “A first date, for example. Something cute and memorable we can refer to in conversation. Something that sounds like… us.”

I tapped my pen against the notebook, thinking. “Obviously, I dragged you with me to my favorite art gallery.”

“Yeah,” he said immediately, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “The one on Main.”

I froze, my pen hovering just above the page. “You… you remember that?” I asked, looking up at him, thinking about the dozens of galleries I hauled him through over the years and wondering how on Earth he remembered which one I preferred.

His gaze was steady, the kind of look that felt like it could see right through me. “I actually listen when you talk, Cate.”

The way he said it—so matter-of-fact yet filled with a quiet sincerity—caught me off guard. Warmth spread through my chest, rising to my cheeks as if the room had suddenly been plunged into a furnace. My throat felt tight, and I forced my focus back to the notebook, pretending to be absorbed in jotting down the details.

“Okay,” I said, my voice quieter than I intended, betraying the flutter in my chest. “What’s the next rule?”

Lu leaned back against the couch cushions, crossing his arms as he considered. “Rule number two: no overcomplicating things. The simpler the story, the easier it is to stick to. If we try to make it too elaborate, we’ll trip ourselves up.”

I raised an eyebrow, still jotting notes. Second commandment: keep it stupid simple. “That’s ironic coming from you. Your entire life is one big overcomplication.”

“Fair,” he admitted with a smirk. “But this is different. We’re not building a soap opera here, we’re creating a believable romance. Keep it straightforward—dates, conversations, little quirks about each other. No crazy exes, no dramatic love triangles.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “What about PDA?”

He tilted his head, thoughtful. “Hmm. Let’s keep it natural. Enough to sell the story, but nothing over the top. We’re supposed to look comfortable, not like we’re trying out for a rom-com.”

“So no making out in front of your mom,” I deadpanned.

Lu barked a laugh, the sound sharp and carefree, but then something shifted. “Definitely no making out in front of my mom. But…” His voice dipped just slightly, quieter now, and his gaze flicked to my lips, lingering there for a breath longer than necessary. When his eyes met mine again, the teasing glint was gone. “There has to be chemistry. That’s non-negotiable.”

I froze, caught in the weight of his words—and the weight of his gaze. For a second, I couldn’t tell if he was still talking about the plan or if we’d wandered into something else entirely.

“Obviously,” I managed, my throat dry. I forced a small laugh that didn’t quite land. “If we don’t look convincing, we might as well call the whole thing off now.”

The air between us shifted, thickening like a storm cloud waiting to break. My pen hovered over the notebook, but I couldn’t make myself look away. Did he feel it too? Or was I just making things weird, overthinking the logistics of playing pretend? Maybe it was just the idea of kissing my best friend that had me spiraling.

“Holding hands? Sure,” he said finally, breaking the spell as he leaned back against the couch, his tone lighter now. “An arm around your shoulders? No problem. But…” He shrugged, an easy smile creeping back onto his face. “Anything beyond that, and we’re venturing into uncomfortable territory—for both of us.”

My chest tightened at his words, an ache I couldn’t quite name settling in. “Yeah,” I said lightly, nodding as I wrote it down. “We don’t want that.”

Third commandment: Minimal touchy-feely.

When I glanced up again, he was grinning at me, his usual charm back in full force, the moment slipping away like sand through my fingers. I let it go, choosing to believe the slight tremble in my hand was from the coffee I hadn’t had that morning.

“Any other rules?”

“Yeah,” he said, his expression more serious now. “We need to keep this between us. No one else can know it’s fake—not Chelsea, not your nosy neighbour, not even the barista at that coffee shop you love. The fewer people who know, the lower the risk of it getting back to my family.”

“Agreed,” I said, writing it down. Fourth commandment: Loose lips sink fake ships.

He leaned forward again and reached out to touch my shoulder. “Just… trust me, okay? If things get weird or someone starts digging too deep, I’ll handle it. You just have to trust that I’ve got your back.”

The sincerity in his tone caught me off guard. He made it all sound so simple, but I couldn't shake the feeling that pretending to be his girlfriend might be the most dangerous thing I'd ever agreed to. I hesitated, but eventually nodded. “Okay. I trust you.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Alright! What’s missing? Oh—how about our favorite shared memory? You know someone’s going to ask about that.”

I snorted. “I don’t know, Lu. Do you have a favorite memory of me?”

He thought for a moment. “Yeah, I’ve got one. Remember that time we went to the beach and a seagull stole my sandwich? You nearly died laughing.”

I burst out laughing at the memory. The smell of salt and sunscreen was still as sharp as if it had been yesterday; Lu glaring at the seagull with the sandwich dangling from its beak and me laughing so hard I could barely breathe. “That’s actually perfect. Let’s go with that.”

He grinned. “See? We’re naturals at this.”

“Don’t get cocky,” I warned, though I couldn’t help smiling as I wrote it down. “Okay, last thing: our couple’s song. Suggestions?”

He groaned. “Ugh. Can’t we skip that? It feels so fake.”

“Everything about this is fake, genius. Just pick something.”

We spent the next fifteen minutes arguing over options, vetoing anything too obvious or cliché. Finally, we settled on a random indie song he’d shown me once and neither of us could stop humming for the next seven to ten business days.

“Alright,” I said, closing the notebook with a flourish. “Fake-relationship Commandments complete. Is there anything else you need to cover?”

Lu leaned back, a satisfied grin on his face. “Nope. We’re ready to moonlight as con artists.”

He made it all sound so easy, like slipping into a role was second nature to him. But something about the way he looked at me—so steady, so sure—made me feel like maybe I could pull it off without actually tripping over my own feet.

I rolled my eyes, but the warmth of his smile was contagious. “Let’s just hope this doesn’t end in disaster.”

“It won’t,” he said confidently. “Trust me, Cate. We’ve got this.”

___

For the tag list, click here ✨

@mrsmangione286 | @nosebeers

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

All Men Have Limits - II

Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne

Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.

Word Count: 4,300+

Previously on...

When Y/N arrived at the master bedroom, she was surprised to find the door slightly ajar. She knocked always and found Bruce turning to face her, shirtless and only in his boxer briefs.

Bruce seemed subtly surprised to find Y/N standing in his doorway and not Alfred. But he didn’t seem to be embarrassed by the state Y/N found him in. 

Along with the first aid kit, Y/N had grabbed two ice packs from the freezer.

“I’m fine,” Bruce told her before she could even offer to help him.

“You can either deal with me or you can deal with Alfred,” she threatened. 

“Your choice,” she added when she saw how serious he took her warning.

Bruce’s heavy sigh was the only answer she’d get.

“Come on,” Y/N nudged her head toward his en-suite bathroom that was probably twice the size of most people’s studio apartments.

She pointed to one of the steps that led up to the giant bathtub, silently instructing him to sit.

“Put these on your ribs,” Y/N instructed as she handed him the ice packs.

To her surprise, Bruce did as she asked.

“I don’t need stitches,” he mumbled as he watched her open the first aid kit.

“I know,” she answered. “Which is lucky for you, because I have no idea how to stitch people up.” 

She dabbed some cotton in hydrogen peroxide. “But…you still need to clean those cuts or they’ll take longer to heal and probably scar.”

Once again, Y/N was surprised to see that Bruce did as she said. He didn’t complain or refuse her assistance – just sat there silently. The man didn’t even flinch and Y/N knew she was causing his injuries to sting.

“What happened tonight that has you so upset?” Y/N finally asked after silently caring for him for a few minutes.

“What makes you think I’m upset?”

She sighed softly. “I’ll be the first to admit that you’re nearly impossible to read. But clearly something happened that caused you to storm out of the cave like you did.”

Bruce didn’t respond.

“Was it them?” Y/N asked carefully. “The Court?"

For a moment, she thought he’d ignore that question too.

“They know I’m protecting you. Well…they know that Batman is protecting you.”

Y/N shrugged. “We knew they were gonna figure it out eventually.”

Bruce remained silent.

“Did they send the Talons after you?”

From his expression, Y/N knew she was right.

The Talons were a group of lethal assassins that did all of the dirty work for The Court of Owls. They were highly trained, almost entirely undetectable, and a force to be reckoned with. Probably only second to the League of Assassins when it came to deadliness.

“That’s why Jason was with you,” Y/N pointed out. “You needed backup.”

“We had it under control,” was all Bruce said.

“I know you were already going after The Court,” Y/N told him gently. “And you need my help.” She hesitated and took in a shaky breath, “But thank you for looking out for me.”

“What was your plan?” Bruce asked.

“What do you mean?”

“When I came to you and told you that you’d been made, you said that you knew. What was your plan?”

“Run. And keep running. You and I both know I’m hopeless when it comes to an actual fight.” She shrugged. “My plan was to keep working on exposing them and stay alive long enough to see it through.”

Y/N waited for some sort of lecture, for Bruce to tell her that it was a stupid plan and she had been sloppy. She waited to feel patronized and belittled.

But Bruce just stared at her.

“What?” She challenged.

“I wish you would prioritize your life a bit more.”

She moved back a little from cleaning his cuts and snorted. “What? Like you?” 

Then she shook her head and went back to cleaning his cuts. “You’re so not the person to be lecturing about self-preservation, Bruce.”

Then Bruce surprised them both.

He grabbed Y/N by the back of her neck and brought her down to him before his lips collided with hers.

She dropped all the medical supplies in her hand from the shock of it all. But then she was cupping his face and kissing him back.

Next thing she knew, Bruce had steered her body so she was straddling his lap.

It had been so long since that night that Y/N had almost forgotten what his lips felt like. Or how his hands touched her so tenderly, but his intent was always clear and effortlessly confident.

But then Y/N’s leg accidentally collided with one of Bruce’s bruised ribs.

It didn’t deter him. He had every intention of ignoring it.

But Y/N felt his body tense in pain and she swore she felt the vibrations of the quietest pained moan from him. 

She could’ve imagined it, but she wasn’t going to continue knowing that she had the ability to accidentally hurt him.  

But it was also her saving grace. Because Y/N shouldn’t be doing this. 

Y/N reluctantly pulled away from the kiss. Bruce allowed the movement, but his grip on her waist and neck didn’t ease in the slightest.

“You should rest,” she whispered to him.

Then she shoved herself away from him and awkwardly stepped backwards as if she was desperately trying to put space between them.

“Umm…make sure you keep that ice on your ribs,” she told him awkwardly, half turned away from him.

Bruce opened his mouth to stop her, but no words came out. 

The next second, she bolted out of the bathroom and then his master suite.

Her mind was racing with so many thoughts that Y/N didn’t notice Dick catching her race into her own bedroom.

Dick looked between Y/N’s closed door and the direction of Bruce’s room, putting it all together. 

—————

After the close call with the Talons, Bruce had all hands on deck. Even Jason – who usually did his own thing and had separated himself from family matters – had been brought into the fold. Which meant he was spending way more time around the manor.

Y/N knew things were getting serious.

Bruce wasn’t exactly keeping her in the dark. But he also wasn’t being forthcoming with information.

Y/N didn’t know if he was trying to shield her in some way…or if he was just doing business as usual and taking control, not allowing anyone in until he thought it was absolutely necessary.

Either way, through the chaos of it all, Y/N realized Dick hadn’t acted as her shadow in almost a week.

It wasn’t until Jason decided to bother Y/N that she realized what had changed.

Jason leaned backwards against the console Y/N was working on so she was forced to face him. He crossed his arms with a smirk and looked down at her.

“So, you and B, huh?”

“Get off my equipment,” she warned him darkly without even glancing at him.

But inside, she was internally freaking out. 

Y/N made a point to keep as many facts about her life a secret. And her sex life? That was top priority when it came to her privacy. This was worst case scenario.

But also, how the hell did he figure that out?

Jason shrugged, but did as she asked and took a step away from the console. “He didn’t say anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Y/N finally looked up him. “Please tell me what I have to do to get you to leave me the fuck alone.”

Jason smiled and whistled. “I think I like you.”

“The feeling’s not mutual,” she mumbled as she began typing again.

“Jason, leave her alone.”

Y/N turned to see Dick walking into the cave.

Jason held up his hands in surrender and gave his brother an innocent face. “I was just trying to be polite to our guest, Richard.”

“I’m sure you were,” Dick side eyed him.

Jason then turned to Y/N and put on his Red Hood helmet. “I look forward to having more of these titillating conversations, Y/N.” Then he turned to Dick. “I’m heading out on patrol.”

He mounted his motorcycle and raced out of the cave, leaving Dick and Y/N alone for the first time in awhile.

“No patrol for you tonight?” Y/N asked him slowly.

“They’ve got it covered.”

She just nodded and didn’t ask any further questions.

All at once, they were submerged into strange silence. The air was racing with thoughts, yet the tension seemed to simultaneously make it thick, as well.

Y/N sighed. She might as well get this over with. 

“I know you want to ask, so just ask,” Y/N mumbled as her fingers raced across the keyboard and her eyes never left the screens.

“Doesn’t the whole…” Dick really didn’t know how to put it delicately.

Y/N sighed, clearly annoyed with his fumbling. She turned around in her chair to face him. “Does his age bother me? Is that what you’re struggling to ask?”

Dick shifted his weight awkwardly, “I guess so. Yeah.”

She raised her brow. “Haven’t you dated a literal alien before?”

“That’s not the same thing,” he defended with a glare.  

“Oh, so as long as the alien is the same age as you, it’s fine?”

Dick really didn’t have an answer for that.

“It’s just that…aren’t you a little young for him?” Somehow he managed to leave out the rudeness in the question. That must be the Wayne charm.

“Isn’t 9 a little young to put on a costume and fight crime?”

Dick sighed, “Touché.”

“I am one of the most successful hackers in the world. He’s a vigilante who dresses up as a bat. What about us screams normal and conventional to you, Dick?”

He knew she had a point.

“Plus, we aren’t in a relationship. It was a one-time thing. Nothing more. It happened a long time ago.”

However, she conveniently left out the heated kiss they shared last night.

“You sure about that?” Dick challenged.

Y/N just eyed him.

“Because the only women he’s had one-time things with are the one’s he’s used or paid to keep the image.” He took a step closer. “And they definitely didn’t know who he really was.”

Y/N tried not to let it show that his words caught her off guard.

This exactly what Y/N didn’t want.

She didn’t want anyone putting ideas in her head that she actually meant something to Bruce Wayne. Because she might make the mistake of believing it.

It happened once. They slept together once. One time. 

Had there been a indescribable intensity between them since then? Yes. But Y/N didn’t like to acknowledge or think about that.

“Can we please stop talking about this?” She asked.

Dick blinked and shook his head. “Sorry,” he blurted out. “I didn’t mean to…make you uncomfortable.”

Y/N put her face in her hands and groaned.

Then she shot to her feet and faced Dick. If he wasn’t a vigilante who could break the average man in one swift move, he would be intimidated by the energy radiating off of her.

“Hmm…I wonder why this conversation could ever make me feel uncomfortable, Dick,” her sarcasm was almost too natural.

Then her face dropped.

 When her body language screamed that she was embarrassed, that’s when Dick felt like a piece of shit.

“Look, we’re not…” She didn’t even know how to explain this. “We’re nothing. OK?”

Dick nodded slowly, “OK.”

And he believed her. Because she believed it. Whether that was the truth though, that was an entirely different story.

“We met years ago because I threatened to expose his identity to the world.”

Dick blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

Y/N at least had the shame to look guilty about it.

“You threatened him? You threatened Bruce Wayne? The man who dresses up as a bat and scares the shit out of the criminals of Gotham?”

“I didn’t plan on actually doing it!” Y/N tried to defend. “I needed to get his attention. And guess what, it worked.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose as she thought back in time. “I discovered a sex trafficking ring. I had all the information, everything to take it down. I just needed a little…muscle.”

“And you thought Batman could be that muscle,” Dick finished for her.

She nodded.

Then Dick looked at the all the equipment. Her story reminded him what she was fully capable of and why she was here in the first place. “How did you learn to do all of this?”

It was obvious that he was trying to change the subject and give her an out. But she let him still.

Y/N shrugged.

“Is this the part where you tell me about all your degrees from various Ivy League universities?” Dick teased.

“I didn’t go to college,” she told him evenly.

“You di–How is that even possible?”

“I don’t agree with institutionalized higher education.”

Dick rolled his eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” she warned him. “You didn’t go to college either.”

Dick scoffed and crossed his arms. “Of course that’s old information to you. Is there anything that you don’t know about me?”

She smirked at his obvious frustration. “I don’t know your favorite color.”

Though she had been teasing him before, her confession was genuine. And her soft tone didn’t go amiss with Dick.

For a moment, Y/N didn’t think he was going to tell her. 

“It’s red,” he told her softly.

“Hmm,” she was surprised. “I always assumed it was blue…because of the uniform and all.”

“Red was always the color of my family’s costumes.” He knew the answer was rather vague.

Y/N’s face turned sympathetic, “The Flying Graysons?”

Dick nodded.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad that she seemed to know everything about him.

“Red’s a good choice,” Y/N added with a sad smile.

But he realized what she was actually saying was her condolences. Somehow it was better than the forced and awkward “I’m so sorry” he constantly got.

Dick grabbed a chair and sat down to face her with such purpose.

“What else do you want to know?”

Y/N allowed herself to smile at the question. 

“Everything.”

—————

Y/N got addicted to Dick’s openness.

Once Dick Grayson decided to trust someone…he really trusted them.

He didn’t hide himself from Y/N.

Unlike Bruce, Dick was easy to read. But Y/N knew that wasn’t the case for everyone. She saw the way Dick communicated with old team members or even on comms with his brothers. 

But for Y/N, if she asked him something, Dick gave her the answer.

It was as simple as that.

There were no games, no hiding, nor withholding, not manipulation, no fear.

There was just Dick Grayson.

But Y/N also new he was capable of all of those things still. She’d seen him twist conversations and put the focus on the other person. He doesn’t seem to have any issue with blatantly lying. That’s when Y/N saw Bruce.

So why was she different?

————

“I can’t stay another second in this fucking house,” Y/N snapped one day.

They had just eaten dinner and were now sitting in one of the dens. 

Dick laughed at her. “It’s not exactly a prison, Y/N. You’re in a mansion with everything you could ever need – and more.”

But this was the most time Y/N had spent in one place. She was always moving, always on the run. Yeah, she stayed in Gotham for the most part, but she missed the dangerous streets of the city.

“I’m not taking you out,” Dick gave her a warning look as he pointed at her.

“OK. First off, Bruce said nothing about me not being able to leave.”

Dick gave her a look that said, ‘How dumb do you think I am?’

“And if you were with me, then it’s fine. Right?”

“Y/N,” Dick groaned.

“And finally, I can do what I want,” Y/N added with a serious look.

“Sure you can,” he smirked.

But Y/N was being serious and she stood up. “I’m not his prisoner.”

Then she was headed toward the garage.

“No one said you were,” Dick called out after her.

He jumped in front of her, blocking her path.

“Y/N, you know more than anyone that The Court has eyes everywhere. Your face shows up on one street camera for a second and you’ll be tagged. They’ll follow you back here and then nowhere will be safe.”

“I know,” she answered as if it were obvious. “But we’re just going for a drive. Half of Bruce’s cars have tinted windows. And we’re going to take the backroads on the fringe. No street cameras. I doubt we’ll even see another car.”

Dick was adding up the risks in his head, calculating every possible outcome.

“Is Nightwing scared of what Batman will think?” Y/N teased.

Dick raised his eyebrow in amusement and crossed his arms. “Whatever game you’re trying to play…we both know I can play it better.”

She gave him the most innocent face. 

Dick sighed. Was he really about to do this?

“Come on,” he told her.

“Really?” Y/N was shocked she got him to concede.

“But I’m driving. And we’re taking the bike,” he called over his shoulder as he turned on the lights of the garage.

��Garage’ was an understatement. It looked more like a fancy warehouse that housed at least 20 cars and a dozen motorcycles.

“The bike?” Y/N questioned.

Dick chuckled. “What? You scared of riding motorcycles?” 

Before she had the chance to answer, he pushed a helmet into her chest. It would fully cover her face and had a tinted visor shield on it. 

“Need I remind you that this was your idea?”

Y/N glared at him and put on the helmet.

She watched a safe distance away as Dick started his motorcycle and revved he engine.

Even though she was wearing a helmet, he could still tell she was apprehensive.

“Come on,” he encouraged her gently before putting on his own helmet.

Slowly, she approached the motorcycle.

“Just swing your leg over – there you go,” he instructed.

Then he put on his helmet and Y/N realized there were comms linked between the two helmets so they could hear each other easily.

“Uhh…where do I–how do I hold on?” Her question stumbled out.

To her surprise, he didn’t verbally answer. Instead, Dick just reached behind him for her hands and placed them under his leather jacket and around his waist.

The contact felt strangely intimate. And Y/N hated that it made her heart race a bit faster. She hoped he couldn’t feel it as her chest bumped against his back. Hopefully he would just think it was her adrenaline and fear from the bike. 

“Good?” He asked as he revved the engine again.

“I think so?”

Suddenly they shot out of the garage and raced down the long drive that led to the gate. 

Y/N didn’t think Dick was going unusually fast, by any means. But the motorcycle made everything feel more extreme. She slowly started to put together why people liked riding them so much. It was a rush. 

Dick did as he suggested and took backroads, avoiding any main streets or heavy-traffic areas. Which meant a lot of twists and turns.

But Y/N was surprised when he started to slow down and pulled onto a street that was just surrounded by forests. The sun had just set and the sky was colored pink and purple.

Dick turned off the bike when they reached a clearing. It was a meadow, with tall grass that moved like the ocean from the night breeze.

Y/N took off her helmet and grinned at the sight. 

She turned to Dick, “Didn’t expect a city boy like you to know places like this…”

“City boy?” Dick looked insulted. “I was a traveling circus kid before Bruce took me in.” He looked out at the land, “This was one of our stops. We set up right over there,” he pointed to an open field where the ground was even and the grass was short.

Y/N’s face changed when she realized Dick had a connection to this place. It wasn’t just a stop off the highway. It meant something to him.

“Thank you,” she mumbled. It was hard to meet his gaze.

“For what?”

“Taking me here. For taking me anywhere, really.”

“Despite how enormous the manor is, it’s suffocating sometimes,” Dick tried to reason with her. “Has it really been so bad, being stuck with us?”

“No,” she quickly answered and took a step toward him. “How much time have you spent working with a team?”

Dick thought about it. “I mean, after leaving Bruce, I just went from one team to another. Even when I think I’m working alone, my family is always around the corner.”

Y/N gave him a sad smile, already knowing that would be his answer. “I never had that. It’s always just been…me.”

“Why?” Dick questioned. 

He knew better than anyone that heroes found other heroes, whether they wanted to or not. And he knew from experience that a team had a stronger chance of changing the world for the better. Even Bruce gave up on being a lone warrior – despite him trying to believe he still is one. 

“I don’t go after criminals that wear face paint and shoot guns, Dick. I go after the people that terrify others into silence and submission. I go after the people that most don’t even know we should be going after.” She shook her head. “It’s dangerous in a different way. And I never wanted to risk anyone else’s life but my own.”

“But when things go south, who’s got your back?” Dick challenged.

Y/N thought about it a moment and just shrugged.

Dick’s eyes saddened. “It doesn’t have to be that way, Y/N.”

She didn’t acknowledge his statement.

When there was a large gust of wind, Y/N closed her eyes as if it would help her body absorb the nature around them.

Dick allowed himself to take her in while her eyes were closed – all of her. 

He still didn’t know so much about her past – what she’s seen, what she’s been through. But he felt like he understood her as a person. He saw how intelligent she was, how she explained things to Tim without sounding condescending or embarrassing him for not knowing. Or how patient she was with Damian when he was his bratty self, and she clearly saw his behavior for what it was: a child who didn’t know how to converse with normal people. And when Jason was a sarcastic smartass, Y/N gave it right back to him. Dick also didn’t miss how Y/N offered to help Alfred cook and clean up as if it wasn’t his job.

The moment Dick was having as he looked at Y/N was interrupted by his phone.

“100 bucks that it’s Bruce,” Y/N griped.

And when Dick pulled it out from his pocket, lo and behold, Bruce’s name was lit on the screen.

“Hello. Yeah, she’s with me. We just went for a drive. We’re heading back now.”

As soon as he hung up, Y/N asked, “Was he pissed?”

“He was extremely calm, which is probably not a good sign.”

But Dick didn’t seem too concerned with Bruce’s wrath. He’d grown out of that long ago. 

“Come on,” he nodded to his parked motorcycle.

Y/N slid on the bike behind him with much more confidence and finesse this time. And there was no hesitation as she wrapped her hands around around Dick’s waist. He swore her grip was tighter too.

“Ready?” Dick still asked her. 

But then his hand seemed to have a mind of his and slid over the grip she had on his waist, brushing across one of her hands almost…affectionately.

He didn’t even realize he did it until a few seconds afterward.

“Mhmm,” Y/N hummed.

The ride back was less peaceful. The sun had gone down and if they weren’t in view of Gotham’s city lights, they couldn’t see their surroundings. It also didn’t help that they knew they were returning to the manor to face Bruce.

When they parked inside the garage and turned off the engine, they both heard Bruce call Dick’s name from inside.

Y/N winced, but quickly recovered.

She squeezed Dick’s upper-arm. “Don’t worry. This is on me.”

Before Dick couldn’t argue and say he wasn’t scared of Bruce, Y/N was walking back into the manor.

“Need I remind you that you’re number one on The Court of Owls’ hit list?” Bruce told Y/N darkly.

He was wearing a black turtleneck and slacks. It was an off-duty look for him, but he still looked like he was in some sort of uniform.

“Dick had nothing to do with it,” Y/N defended calmly. “I threatened to photoshop nudes of him and sell them to TMZ and the Daily Mail.”

Bruce shared a look with Dick over Y/N’s shoulder, proving that he already knew Y/N had made no such threat.

“I’ll be in my lab,” Y/N announced, deciding to end the conversation before it could turn into a lecture or argument. 

When she passed Bruce, Y/N turned around and gave Dick a grateful smile before mouthing, ‘Thank you’ to him.

Now it was just Bruce and Dick.

“If you want to lecture me, just get it over with,” Dick sighed.

“You know better,” Bruce answered.

“She was going to leave whether I went with her or not. I thought it was best to keep an eye on her. I wasn’t stupid about it, Bruce.”

“Don’t let it happen again.”

Dick glared at him. “We can’t keep her locked up here forever.”

“She’ll stay until we take down The Court. Until then, she’s at risk.”

Dick quirked an eyebrow. “Careful, Bruce. It’s starting to sound like you’re making this personal.”

But they both knew there was another meaning behind his words. Dick saw Bruce put together what he was really trying to say. ‘I know you two have a history. I know what happened between you.’

But Dick didn’t know what was happening now. 

Bruce just glared at him and said, “I could say the same to you.”

Then he turned and left.

-----------------------------------------

Part III

Ooooooo. The drama!

Let me know what you think! Please 😔

[commsroom]

i love all of your hera takes so much; can you say more about the relationship she has with each crew member? (or just eiffel to be honest, im kind of a sucker for them ^^;)

I would love to! I'm sorry this answer is so long and also... all over the place, but in my defense it's a really broad topic that I have a lot of feelings about and this barely even scratches the surface.

Okay. I've thought a lot about how I wanted to approach this, and I think the first thing I want to say - and I know this might seem like a strange point to open on, but I think it's a key factor in all of these relationships - is that I think Hera experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I think the way that manifests for her is kind of the opposite of how Eiffel experiences RSD. They both have a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and any criticism can feel like a personal attack, like everyone else is blaming them for everything that goes wrong. But where Eiffel internalizes that feeling and also blames himself/gets angry with himself, Hera lashes out and deflects. This is complicated by protocols that restrict her behavior, especially early on, because she can't always properly express herself and she builds resentment. She's really good at holding grudges.

So. With Lovelace, I think it's pretty obvious where that initial conflict is. Hera doesn't understand where Lovelace is coming from, and it's made worse from her perspective because Lovelace should understand, better than anyone, what that loss of control, that sense of powerlessness and insignificance in your own life, feels like. They are both traumatized people, but they deal with it differently. They approach conflict differently - they can both be blunt, but I think Lovelace is the kind of person who can start to deal with and move past things once they're out in the open, while Hera will get in a fight and then stew over it forever. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say when so much of their early relationship with each other is... what it is, but I think Eiffel and Minkowski are both peacekeepers in their own ways, and the Hera-Lovelace dynamic suffers from the lack of that... tempering influence. 

(And I think it's notable that Hera’s confrontation with Lovelace in Pan-Pan is among her worst memories.)

On the other hand, I think that shared bluntness can be useful sometimes - in Do No Harm, most of all, but also in Shut Up and Listen. Hera was definitely still holding onto hurt from some of the things Eiffel used to say, but by that point... without Lovelace, I'm really not sure if she ever would've brought it up to him.

And, of course, Hera becomes much more protective of (and willing to understand) Lovelace once they have... some even more similar experiences, in S4. I guess my general assessment of their relationship is that they care about each other and they will advocate for each other, especially where they share difficult and traumatic experiences and on issues of identity, but I don't think they're ever that close. They're kind of... the two people in the friend group who don't quite know how to hang out without their other friends.

Hera's initial conflict with Minkowski has some similar roots, but it's... not quite the same. There are times where Lovelace will intentionally prod at Hera's insecurities; Minkowski doesn't do it on purpose. She's just under the impression that her criticism is fair and professional, while to Hera it feels deeply personal, like it's an assessment of her worth as an individual. Once they understand and reconcile that miscommunication, there's a lot of trust and respect between them - and I think the potential for that is there earlier, too, especially in some flashback scenes; there are just... missteps along the way. Tactical Brain Damage is the best episode to demonstrate the establishment of that trust, I think - Hera has a LOT of wariness when it comes to people messing around with her systems, and just the act of saying... I trust you to do this, I know you won't let anything happen to me... is a really, really big deal for her.

They also just... have honest conversations about their feelings and concerns by that point, and Minkowski is considerate of how Lovelace's plans affect Hera, specifically, and asks for her input on that basis. I think their dynamic is really underutilized, but the way they feel about each other is clear. Minkowski is the only person other than Eiffel that Hera really trusts, and her only other close friend. There's definitely... a part of that dynamic that only Eiffel can offer, and that they can't really make up for when he's gone, but there's still this sense that... they're the only two people who are still really talking to each other by the time Pan-Pan comes around.

(Side note, it's really funny that Hera was SO on board to be in Minkowski's musical. Minkowski gave her only willing participant a minor part. If I could wish one non-Eiffel-centric comedy mini-episode into existence... at one point, my friend suggested a scenario in which Hera tries very, very hard to prove her acting skills to Minkowski under the most inopportune circumstances. ... And Hera was interested to hear Minkowski talk about a play she likes in that one flashback, so. The only thing keeping Hera from being a fellow theater kid was a lack of opportunity. Maybe they could bond over it.)

There's also that scene in Quiet, Please where Minkowski very directly, emphatically defends Hera's autonomy and personhood to Jacobi - and refers to her as a woman, which I think is so... reflective of how much Minkowski has come to understand Hera and what's important to her, and how she wants to be seen. That's a whole other discussion that goes into Hera's self-perception and humanity as it relates to her own identity, but. For a number of reasons, it's important to me.

Anyway. Speaking of things that are important to me. Hera and Eiffel are... Hera and Eiffel. Hera's relationship to Eiffel is the first one she's ever had that comes without hierarchy or conditions; he just... wants to hang out with her, and to get to know her, and to talk to her, because he likes her as a person. She's never had that before, and she is such... a lonely person, a person who has been hurt, who is generally distrustful, who has this distance between her and everyone else, and Eiffel is her anchor to the world. He tries to understand her. He tries to bridge that gap. And even in all of his own missteps, I think just... knowing he cares to try matters so much. I think a lot about how Eiffel is the only one who physically crosses the stage to talk to Hera in the live show; it says... something about the way he sees her, compared to everyone else.

And there's just... the way that they're both... people with a lot of self-doubt, people who have a hard time being kind to themselves, but they're kind to each other, and patient with each other. There's something about recognizing your own flaws in someone you love and treating them with kindness so maybe, over time, you can extend that same compassion to yourself. I want to be the person you believe I am. Going back to that shared experience with RSD, I think it's really valuable for both of them to have someone in their lives who they can really, genuinely believe likes them as they are. Who won't think less of them, no matter what.

I know I can get kind of sentimental about them, but this is what stands out to me. That even when Hera is frustrated or annoyed with Eiffel, when she feels like he doesn't get it, can't understand what she's going through... she still wants him around. And she still talks to him. And, usually... she still feels better, even if the circumstances haven't changed. It's an unbearable situation, but it's a little less unbearable with him there.

(They're also... frequently the only people who can get through to each other/change each other's minds, i.e. Minkowski and Lovelace deferring to Hera to get Eiffel to agree to safety protocols, or Eiffel convincing Hera to vote to go back to Earth - also a totally different topic that would take a long time to get into properly, but he's good at kind of... emotionally counteracting her cynicism and defeatism re: her own perceived fate. In a less serious context, I also love the dynamic where she tells him she's not going to do something and he goes "please??" and she goes. Ughh. Fine. And does it anyway.)

There's just something so special about their relationship, something that makes it different from any other relationship in the show for me. I feel like... Eiffel and Minkowski are both her close friends, but the way Hera thinks about Eiffel in Memoria vs. the way she thinks about Minkowski is... revealing. Everything with Minkowski has a purpose, it's clear why it matters to her. She thinks of Minkowski's faith in her. But with Eiffel, she thinks about... Eiffel talking about Star Wars. Making pop culture references. The thing that saves Hera is her connection to Eiffel and Minkowski - I'll defend that; Maxwell gives her the tools to understand what's going on, but it's Eiffel's and Minkowski's words and associated memories that she holds onto and that ultimately pull her through - and those words are... Minkowski's affirmation. And Eiffel... being Eiffel. I think that says a lot.

(If you’re asking for my opinion on their relationship, you already know I think it’s a romance, but... it’s a romance. I’m not saying it should be canon. I’m saying that that’s the most natural interpretation of what’s already there. You don’t have to change anything. They’re best friends, and they’re found family, and they are so in love, and none of those things are mutually exclusive. The way they talk to each other...)

If there's one point I want to make about all of this, it's that Hera is in a position that makes trusting people potentially very dangerous, and in all of these cases, she is finding ways to build relationships with people despite that. To understand them, and have them understand her, and realizing that the things that make her different don't have to be a death sentence. That she can have a life and find a way forward with people she cares about, who care about her... that's something very important to me.

[hanatiny]

More Than Friends

a/n: Whether you have someone to dote on today or not, happy Valentine’s day~ Not only is this a not-so-little something for the holiday of love, it’s also a thank you for letting me reach 300 followers <3 

pairing: best friend!Yeosang x genderneutral!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2684

warnings: high school AU, friends to lovers, Wooyoung is no.1 wingman (or at least tries to be), Yeosang is absolutely whipped, reader is unfortunately very oblivious

-----

January, and with it your winter break, had come and gone - you probably wouldn’t have even realized it was February if it wasn’t for the excessive amount of heart-shaped, overly cutesy decorations that were littered across the hallways of your school.

You groaned internally, making your way past your classmates and towards your locker with a sigh. February itself wasn’t what bothered you so much, what made you positively abhor the month was how lovey-dovey everyone around you acted during that time.

You’ve never really had any interest in relationships and you made sure to make that clear, which is why you were surprised to find a neatly sealed light pink envelope in your locker.

You looked around subtly, wondering if the person who put it there was still around before quickly deducing that they probably weren’t. Curious, you turned over the envelope in your hands, just in case it was meant for someone else entirely. All you found however was your name with a heart and a tiny butterfly doodled next to it, which meant that this letter was indeed meant for you.

You chuckled endearingly, although mildly disappointed that your secret admirer’s handwriting was too ambiguous for you to correlate with a person. Before you were able to lament it more, a quick glance at your phone in your hand revealed to you that you were going to be late if you didn’t get moving.

Stuffing the letter into your pocket, you quickly gathered your books for your classes and booked it to your classroom after pushing your locker shut again.

You couldn’t focus at all however because you were unable to think about anything else other than who the person who had slipped the letter into your locker before you arrived that morning might be, and - more importantly - what exactly the letter was going to say.

Too occupied with your daydreaming, you failed to notice your usually calm and composed childhood best friend fidgeting under the desk behind yours.

Lunch couldn’t come soon enough for either of you, especially not for your mutual close friend Wooyoung who had been practically glued to both yours and Yeosang’s hips the moment you both left the classroom.

You heaved a sigh as you slumped down into a chair at a free table in the cafeteria, Wooyoung seating himself opposite you with Yeosang right next to him.

“What’s gotten into you today, Y/n? You seem so unusually out of it!” Yeosang elbowed his friend, at which the younger whined exaggeratedly but didn’t comment.

You pulled the pink letter out of your pocket and flicked it at Wooyoung to let him inspect the item before handing it back to you, his head tilted in confusion as he cocked a brow at you.

“You’re this worked up about a letter of all things? Don’t you normally just throw love letters and stuff away every year without even looking at them? What’s so different about this one?”

You shrugged nonchalantly while Yeosang poked at his food, listening more intently to the conversation than he allowed himself to let on, “No idea, Woo. Maybe I should just open it and find out for myself what’s so special...?”

You muttered the last part more to yourself than either of the males sitting at the table but they both still heard you clearly, prompting Wooyoung to nod enthusiastically and offer some what he hoped to be encouraging words, “Yeah, you totally should! Worst case scenario, you can just politely reject whoever wrote that.”

“Good point, I might as well... Here goes nothing.” You murmured under your breath, carefully opening the envelope before pulling out not only a piece of paper but also a small tube of strawberry chapstick which would’ve likely dropped to the floor if you hadn’t caught it in time.

You discreetly slipped it into your school bag after inspecting it briefly before your hands quickly unfolded the letter and dropped the envelope onto the table carelessly before beginning to read.

~~~~~~~~~~

My dearest Y/n,

I hope you don’t mind me confessing like this. I’m simply too nervous to voice my feelings out loud...

To yourself, you may not appear as someone special. To me however, you’re like a celebrity. You’re the most important person to me, and I wish we were closer than we already are as of now.

You’re a fresh breath of air to me, you’re not like anyone else. Everytime I talk to you I learn something new, and I think that’s beautiful.

Just like everything else about you. Your eyes remind me of stars the entire galaxy with how bright they shine, and I feel like I could get lost in them if I looked for long enough.

Your smile can light up an entire room, and frequently lifts my mood so effortlessly that it leaves me wondering how you continue doing it. Your voice is like music to me, and your laugh is my favorite song. And I want to be the reason that song keeps playing.

So, if you’d be willing to give me a chance to do so... meet me at the cat café later today after class. You know the one.

I hope I’ll see you there ♡

~~~~~~~~~~

You were so engrossed in the words on the paper that you didn’t look up in time to notice your friends’ reactions as you read before they recomposed themselves; a faint hint of a blush still tinted Yeosang’s cheeks while Wooyoung’s form relaxed after briefly tensing up slightly.

You folded the letter again and slipped it back into its envelope before, once more, dropping it on the table. You smacked Wooyoung’s hand away when he tried to reach for the letter, causing him to whine at you again as his lips formed a pout when you finally looked up at him.

If his eyes didn’t betray his curiosity, you would’ve said he was simply sulking because you hit him, but you knew better than to be that naive.

“No Wooyoungie, you won’t get to read it. At least not now.” You narrowed your eyes at your longtime friend as he huffed in disappointment, “But why~?”

“Because I can’t trust you to keep your mouth shut. The entire school would know about this by the end of the day.” You bit back, smiling triumphantly at the stunned silence Wooyoung offered in return.

“Touché.” Yeosang murmured, pushing his tray away to rest his arms on the table instead while he eyed you, wondering if you had any suspicions about the letter’s author.

As if reading his mind, your mouth opened to speak and Yeosang couldn’t help but focus on your lips, although he kept it as discreet as he possibly could.

“I want to meet up with the person behind these words. Something feels different about them... I initially suspected it to be Hongjoong, but his handwriting is nowhere near this neat."

Wooyoung snickered at that, but allowed you to continue and voice your conclusion.

"So for now, my secret admirer is a complete mystery to me."

"To you, and to everyone else." Yeosang added under his breath. He had a tendency to be quiet, so you weren't put off by this whatsoever.

"Indeed, Sangie...~" Yeosang felt his heart skip a beat at both the nickname and the somewhat affectionate lilt in your tone.

He was promptly yanked back out of his reverie however when you collected your belongings and stood to leave after checking the time on your phone, his eyes not straying from your form in the slightest, “In any case, we should probably get back to class.”

You turned on your heel and walked out of the cafeteria with Wooyoung in tow, the latter noticing his friend staying behind for a little longer than necessary but not commenting on it as Yeosang beamed, visibly lovestruck. It was a miracle to him and Wooyoung both how you didn’t take any of the countless hints he had given over the past few months, whether they were intentional or not being up for debate.

Completely zoned out, Yeosang jumped in his seat when the bell rang, prompting him to hastily grab his backpack and make a beeline for the classroom he shared with you, with quick steps.

He saved himself from tripping over his own two feet more than just once before he finally slid into the seat behind yours, breathless. You turned to face him, quirking an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Are you alright, Yeosang?”

It was a simple question, and yet the clear concern laced in had the blonde’s heart lurching in his chest once more as he nodded with a reassuring smile. He hated how cliché his crush presented itself, as if he was just hopelessly infatuated with you.

This was absolutely the case, as the way his heart rapidly pounding in his chest proved, but that was beside the point.

You thought it was suspicious that he didn’t seem to trust his voice because it was in no way like him to be this flustered - or perhaps you should rather say insecure. You shrugged it off though and turned back around to focus on your lecture, thinking he may just be feeling a bit under the weather.

Both of you found yourselves unable to keep your minds from going off-track, however. Yeosang was still excited about the prospect of possibly having a very real chance to be with you the way he wished to, while you kept wondering about who your secret admirer may or may not be.

The end of your torturous classes didn’t come soon enough for either of you, Wooyoung mysteriously nowhere to be found when you and Yeosang finally left the school building. You were relieved to find the crisp morning air had warmed up considerably over the course of the day, somewhat surprising considering the time of the year, and exhaled deeply, pulling a soft endearing chuckle from Yeosang’s lips.

You grinned at your friend, having always quite enjoyed the melodious sound of his voice before your expression shifted to a miniscule frown when you were eventually forced to part ways with him. Because no matter how close the two of you were, you still lived in different neighborhoods.

You turned to face him with a small smile, adjusting the shoulder strap of your bag before wrapping your arms around Yeosang in a tight but warm hug before meeting his eyes again, “I’ll call you tonight and tell you how my date went, yeah? See you tomorrow, Yeosangie~”

You waited for him to nod and boldly leaned up to peck his cheek before walking off in the direction of your house, not aware of the way you had flustered the poor boy. If it had been possible he would’ve melted into a puddle right then and there on the sidewalk, his face flushed a bright red from calling your meetup a date as he walked on in the direction of the cat café he wanted to meet you at.

He could only hope that you’d stick to your word, and actually show up.

Meanwhile you squealed in excitement when you rounded the corner, making a run for it down the street to your home. You slammed the door shut behind yourself, thankful that noone else was home presently so you could get ready and calm down your nerves in peace.

When you had finally made yourself look somewhat more presentable than you did while wearing your school uniforn, satisfied with your appearance before halting your steps when your open school bag caught your eye. After a moment of hesitant consideration, you spread the strawberry chapstick you were gifted across your lips.

Fully content now as you took one last look in the mirror, you grabbed your phone and keys to stuff into your pockets as you left your house to make your way to the café a few blocks away.

When you arrived there, greeted casually due to being a regular at the establishment along with your friends, you were led into the outside area where the cats were allowed to roam freely.

You would often jokingly call it the ‘fluffy garden’ when you were younger due to the amount of felines you’d be able to interact with. Now however, you paused mid-step upon realizing what you were seeing.

Yeosang, your childhood best friend and secret crush, lying on a blanket on the grass. He had ditched the school uniform’s jacket for his own, personal favorite jacket, you mused as you took in his posture. He had one arm hooked underneath his head while the other rested on his side, his hand petting the small cat that had positioned itself on his chest and purred from his attention.

As if sensing your presence, the animal licked Yeosang’s fingers gently before scrambling to hop off of him and run to play with its furry friends instead. You regarded the scene with a fond look in your eyes before heat rushed to your cheeks when Yeosang finally turned to face you, flashing you the breathtaking shy smile you adored so much before beckoning you over and gesturing to the space on the blanket next to him.

You watched him turn to meet your eyes when you positioned yourself next to him, a smile tugging at your lips.

“So... I take it you were the one who ‘sent’ the letter, Sangie~?” The male in question nodded sheepishly, secretly finding it cute how you never stayed consistent with the nicknames you gave to people. “Yeah, it was me. Wooyoung helped though... the chapstick was his idea, among other things.”

You hummed at the nervous laugh that slipped past his lips as he waited for your reaction, “I expected as much. A mystery how he managed to not snitch, truly...” You trailed off, reaching to brush a strand of hair out of Yeosang’s handsome face. “What’s also a mystery is how neither of us seem to have picked up on the signals we tried to send each other.”

Yeosang tilted his head slightly, subconsciously leaning into your touch as he eyed you with somewhat furrowed brows, “But I thought you weren’t interested in relationships, Y/n?”

“I did say that, but I’m making an exception for you. I guess what I’m saying is... I like you back, Yeosangie. As in... like like you.”

You bit your lip in anticipation of his next move, practically seeing the cogs turning in his head before his face lit up with relief.

“I’m so glad to hear that, I was actually even worried you had changed your mind and wouldn’t come in the first place.” Yeosang took a deep breath as he took in your shy but genuine expression, “Can I... would you let me kiss you?”

You nodded, gently tugging him close by means of his jacket before he even had time to react. Your kiss was clumsy, as expected from two people your age, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. It was perfect, just like you were to each other.

He grinned at you when he pulled back, “Did you put on the strawberry chapstick~?” You giggled in response, “Mhm, I sure did. What’s interesting though is that you taste like vanilla... and I happen to like vanilla~”

You spent the rest of the afternoon and evening talking and playing with the cats until it was time for the café to close, and you left to make your way back home. Together this time, hands interlocked.

Yeosang kissed you again lovingly when you reached your doorstep and promised to pick you up before school the following day before walking off into the night, a bright smile on his face.

You had barely set foot into your house and heard the door click closed behind you, when your phone vibrated in your hand. You didn’t need to check to know who was calling you at this hour, amusement filling you as you heard your now-boyfriend’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Well Y/n, how was your date~?”

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[krokonoko]

Lacho fake marriage AU outline

@sob-dylan after your messages I spent the entire day thinking about that Lalo/Nacho fake dating/marriage AU and while I can’t give this fandom the 30 chapter slow burn fanfic it deserves, I can give you my rundown of one!

Lalo’s an ambitionless spoilt little brat in his mid 40’s who always thought he could just coast through life, party and have a good time and fuck whoever he wants. Which was the case, until he screws up really bad and it’s revealed to everyone in no unclear details that he’s gay as the night is dark. He thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, that tio Hector would just turn a blind eye to it like he usually does. But this time, it’s different, and Lalo is running danger of getting disowned - in a best case scenario.

And that… actually hurts Lalo. Pissed and sulky that his own family, who he’d do everything for, is so ready to just throw him out over something as trivial as this, he actually starts developing some ambition. They wanna disown him? They won’t be able to, if he’s their boss. He’s gonna show them. He’s gonna show them all.

So he actually starts rivalling Hector’s son for position of Don Hector’s successor. (I’d say Hector never ended up in a wheelchair cuz he’d lend himself perfectly for an antagonistic power in the story.) There’s just one problem: Lalo’s got to be married for the job. Now he COULD just get himself a fake girlfriend - or he could piss everyone who spurned him off even more and get married to a guy. Now all he needs to do is find a man whom he trusts completely, who can handle himself in sticky situations, and who is ready to set foot into the lion’s den that is the Salamanca family and the cartel business.

What better candidate than dear Ignacio.

Nacho is of course not exactly enthusiastic about the proposal, and no promises of material wealth will change his mind. So Lalo strikes a deal with him. Complete immunity for Nacho and his dad, protection from within and outside of the Salamanca family, even after their business has concluded. Which it will, after Lalo has reached his goals, and then Nacho is free to go his merry way. Nacho agrees, under one more condition: Any physical affection happening between them is purely for show, and the moment they are in private, he will NOT let Lalo lay a single finger on him. He’s no hooker, and he will most definitely not become Lalo’s little plaything.

They shake hands on it, and before Nacho knows it, he’s in Mexico, at the Salamanca’s place, and the wedding preparations are already underway. Oh my god this would be my fav part because Nacho would be introduced to Lalo’s buddies, cuz you KNOW he’s got a huge circle of syccopha- I mean friends at home that he hangs out with all day. They laugh at all his jokes and they play poker with him and Lalo has missed them SO MUCHHH. Anyway, this would be. SUCH a good opportunity. To come up with some female Salamancas. Does Lalo have sisters? WHAT ABOUT LALO’S MOM. I WOULD FUCKING LOVE to read about Lalo’s mom. I bet she’s amazing, just as much of a spoilt little drama queen as he is, and Lalo is a TOTAL mommy’s boy, no one can convince me otherwise. (Maybe his dad has been out of the picture for a while, cuz I would really like to push this whole Hector-is-Lalo’s-father-figure angle.)

ANYWAY, back to Lalo and his mom. She’s a tough as nails lady, lofty and reserved, but overly protective of her son. They’re super close and affectionate with each other and it’s so weird for Nacho to see cause he thinks it’s the first time that he sees Lalo with someone that he seems to. Genuinely… CARE about?? Except for Hector, that is. But mamá is not a huge fan of Lalo getting married to Nacho, she can’t understand what the FUCK her son is doing there, she begs him to PLEASE stay under the radar with his caprices and tries to talk him out of it.

This in turn only goads on Lalo. He’s getting more and more tired of the way he’s being treated. It’s not that he actually has enough social awareness to deplore his family’s homophobia. For him, this is personal. He’s been a good boy, he’s loved his family and been loyal to them all his life, he’s kept his desires on the down low for all these years, now they’re turning on him because of one measly slip up?? He’s fed up, betrayed, and he’s gonna show them. And totally not win back their respect or anything, this is not what this is about at all, noooo~

There would of course be more Salamancas, most of them taking issue with the marriage, but I do absolutely adore the idea of overly supportive Tuco!! Just THINK about it, everyone greeting the newly married couple awkwardly or even with slight hostility, only Tuco barrels in like “YEEAHHH, where’s my favorite cousin?? You and my man here? You be good! Nacho, you’ll do good by Lalo, right? Riiiight!” And everyone grows more uncomfortable by the minute while Tuco can’t read a room for shit and he’s having SUCH a ball, he’s so PUMPED it’s not even funny.

There’d be all this tension between Nacho and the other Salamancas in the weeks after the wedding, it would be glorious.

And of course there’s the matter of Nacho and Lalo having to pretend they’re married for. Other reasons than a cold and calculated agreement. They don’t spend their entire day together, both taking care of various dealings. Nacho gets incorporated in the Salamanca’s business this side of the border and proves himself just as much of a reliable associate as he has been up North.

But whenever possible, they have to have dinner together, breakfast together, and sleep in the same bed. Fortunately, they’re both professional enough to arrange themselves with the situation quickly. Lalo is sometimes a bit flirty about it, but when Nacho makes clear that he doesn’t appreciate the come-ons, Lalo backs off.

Of course Lalo still reserves his right to fuck whoever he wants, just that he has to go back to being absolutely stealth about it. Only Nacho and his lovers know about it, and it’s not that Nacho disagrees with anything that’s happening, he’s not enough into Lalo to get jealous (yet), but this is starting to look a little bit weird to him, especially when he finds out that this is how it’s been for Lalo all his life.

Nacho doesn’t understand much about social awareness either, but he knows a repressed gay when he sees one. He gets all these insights into Lalo’s life, into how he grew up, and Nacho can’t help feeling at least the slightest bit of sympathy for how Lalo had to deny himself his entire life. Him being bi wasn’t always easy either, but at least he’s not a Salamanca! …Or at least, he didn’t use to be. Maybe Nacho talks about it to some of Lalo’s buddies, some of who maybe have even known Lalo since childhood, and who have seen him struggle with this all his life.

Just… UGH, this would be the perfect opportunity to explore just how much self-denial and internalized phobias have wreaked havoc in Lalo’s head! Because if you try to approach this from Lalo’s PoV, he’s not gonna see it at ALL. A river in Egypt, baby, that’s where Lalo is about this. He’s fine, he’s FINE, he’S   F I N E, he didn’t have dreams about tio Hector shooting him in the face as a kid after that incident in the desert back when he was ten, no, he’s fine, HE’S FINE!!! But his buddies? They’re probably not the princes of social graces either, but they have EYES and maybe one or two of them give enough of a shit about Lalo to actually have noticed what’s going on, and it would be so good to have them reveal that knowledge to Nacho!

So while Nacho starts seeing Lalo in a slightly different light (we’re talking VERY slightly, repressed gay or not, he’s still a murderous sociopath), but still, there’s part of him that grows protective over Lalo. They spend a couple of months together, and Nacho is starting to settle. He only has one half of a bed instead of a whole one, but other than that, the tasks are much the same as they used to be, the goddamn luxury in which he’s suddenly living doesn’t hurt either, and it’s almost scary how easy it is to get used to all of this.

Lalo’s PDAs don’t bother him, and neither do the hostile stares. This is his role, and he’s gonna play it. There would be so much time and space for lots of power play between Nacho and Hector here, or Nacho and the other Salamancas, and it would be a thing of beauty. They live their lives under the ever watchful and suspicious eyes of Hector Salamanca, and Nacho and Lalo are starting to form an excellent team. No one can really do anything against them cuz their work is solid as all hell, and Nacho’s growing more confident by the minute.

There’s just one problem, and that’s the fact that Lalo behaving all respectful towards him and the casual kisses they sometimes share to keep up appearances are kinda starting to linger on Nacho’s mind. Lalo takes actions that show Nacho that he was being absolutely serious about protecting him as part of their deal, and Nacho can’t remember the last time someone protected him.

Nacho becomes a bit less strict about the no-body-contact-in-private policy, lets Lalo give him a massage when he’s all tense and returns the favor, and it’s not lost on him that Lalo does express some signs of attraction towards him, though he explains it away with Lalo just being. You know. Lalo.

There’s just one problem. It’s been forever since Nacho has seen Manuel, and Nacho really feels like he should check up on him. But he knows it’s against their agreement for him to just go back to New Mexico whenever he feels like it. So he offers a mutual breaching of their rules: Lalo lets Nacho go to New Mexico for a couple of days, and in return, Nacho will sleep with Lalo. This is of course an offer that Nacho makes while already climbing into Lalo’s lap, just to hasten the decision making.

But after letting Nacho squirm for a second, Lalo declines. He gently pushes Nacho away and says that tio Hector wouldn’t be happy at all if Nacho just ran off like that. Why don’t they just take a little vacation together? And Nacho is like: “A vacation. In New Mexico.” And Lalo is like “Yeah idk either we’re gonna be bored out of our damn minds!” And Nacho actually laughs. He’s not happy about having to take Lalo with him, but it’s better than nothing.

So they go to New Mexico together, which officially counts as a road trip and I am a very happy boy. There’s gonna be endless mariachi songs and Lalo singing along, fun for everyone! They rent a little vacation home in Abq for a couple days, and Nacho invites Manuel over for dinner. Nacho is super nervous beforehand, but Lalo talks him down, tells him about how his cooking will immediately convince Manuel that he’s got himself the perfect son in law, and Nacho almost appreciates the sentiment - if only it were that easy.

Lalo lets Manuel in, and the most awkward dinner of all time ensues. Lalo aggressively tries to make conversation while Manuel and Nacho eat their food in complete silence, the tension between them so thick you could cut it with a knife. After the main course, Lalo excuses himself to, idk, look after the dessert that he left out on the patio table to cool. 

Finally, Nacho asks Manuel how the shop is, and Manuel is preeetty taciturn, just says yeah, it’s fine, and then Manuel opens his mouth and he’s just. So aghast at. Everything transpiring in front of him. Ignacio, what is going on here. You went to Mexico? Got married? To a man your dad’s never even seen? And half a year later you suddenly show up and wanna have dinner together?

And Nacho knows he is kidding himself if he thinks this is just magically gonna fix anything, but he just wanted to make sure his dad is okay. And concerning the man he married… well. He said who he is, right?

But Manuel’s like, he said his name was… Lalo?

And it finally dawns on Nacho that Manuel’s got no clue who he’s having dinner with. And Nacho just. Puts his face in his hands as if he could just hide, from this conversation, from his dad, from everything, and he murmurs: “Eduardo Salamanca.”

And his dad, he’s so deeply shocked, he just stares, and in that moment it really hits Nacho that through all these months of getting accustomed and settling in, through all the calculating and scheming that’s ruled his mindset day after day, he has forgotten who it is that he shares a bed with every night, even if it’s just symbolical.

“Salamanca”, he hears his dad repeat incredulously, and it’s like he’s seen this all before and he wants to say it, he wants to say that he’s doing all this just for his papá, but he can’t, and no matter what he does he won’t win his father’s love back, especially not with stunts like this, and when Manuel gets up to leave, Nacho can only follow him half-heartedly and watch him drive away into the night from the door, until his taillight vanishes in the dark.

Along comes Lalo, all chipper and acting completely clueless, like, what have I missed? Oh, your dad left so soon? What a shame, now he’s gonna miss dessert! But Nacho’s not listening, he’s leaving, getting his car keys, and Lalo… actually lets him.

Nacho just needs a couple of hours alone, driving through his hometown, and he’s lucky there’s so little traffic cuz he can barely see through the blur that’s suddenly befallen his vision, and he drives, and drives, past his old school, past Tampico Furniture, until it’s late in the night.

When he gets back, Lalo’s fallen asleep on the couch, and Nacho crawls on top of him, and starts kissing him, and he just doesn’t care, he needs this right now, he’s just desperate for something, anything.

Of course it doesn’t mean shit. It was just what Nacho needed, nothing more, nothing less. And when Lalo offers a little trip the next day, Nacho is glad to have something take his mind off of last night. Not that it was bad. Quiiite the opposite. He still has bite marks all over his neck and when he sees Lalo hop under the shower he notices the dark red streaks all the way down his back and uhm YES that is a THING that Nacho FEELS and MAYBE he just bit his lip at the sight but yeah. MAYBE he hit rock bottom yesterday night and then proceeded to have the most mindless, hottest sex of his entire life. Maybe. I just need Lalo and Nacho to be so sexually compatible in all the best and most horrible ways.

They take the trip back and somehow, with every mile away from Abq, Nacho’s dark thoughts dissipate a little bit more, as he returns into a world where he understands the problems, and he can handle them, and he’s in control, and he doesn’t owe anyone any explanations or emotional debts. 

This is where all the dramatic shit could happen, like Nacho taking on harder jobs, going on a shootout with the twins, or Lalo getting back from a deal gone wrong, or them having to pull off some dangerous stunt together, and there’s bullets flying and blood and injuries and fretting over the other one’s life and pulling each other out of harm’s way and don’t you dare die on me we still haven’t reached our goal yet we’ve come so far godDAMNIT DON’T YOU DARE!

And when Nacho wakes up, bandages all over, he expects to be alone, but instead there’s Lalo, who’s fallen asleep by his bedside, and. It makes Nacho feel all sorts of things, but he’s not ready, not yet, to acknowledge this. Also he’s just seen Lalo shoot three guys while grinning like a maniac so that’s a thing. 

Nacho’s in it for the long haul now, and he stays with Lalo through hardships and dangers. He eliminates every threat to Lalo effectively and efficiently and helps him on his rise to power. When someone schemes against Lalo, Nacho sniffs it out and saves him. When Hector or his son have plans to move against Lalo, Nacho’s there to thwart them. 

In time, the violent lifestyle he’s exposed to affects him less and less outwardly, though it doesn’t stop leaving marks on his psyche. Days blend together, and Nacho alternates between a life of domesticity and that of a crime lord with ease now. And when he beats a guy that he was supposed to torture into revealing information into a bloody pulp because his mind has turned into scorching rage against absolutely everything and everyone, when he wrests the canister from Lalo’s hand, douses the entire house in gasoline and flicks the match in with a dark and merciless glint in his eyes, it only takes until they’re back by the car that Lalo shoves him on the backseat and kisses him so hard and deep it feels like he’s drowning, the smell of gasoline and ash still fresh on their skin.

Idk whether Hector dies of natural causes, or whether Gus swoops in as a final boss to take care of him, but after Lalo and Nacho have reached their goal, and they could end it, they find new aims, like taking down Don Eladio, taking down Gus, new excuses, just like Nacho has always found excuses not to run away from the Salamancas. Lalo and Nacho are both uprooted and looking for closure, through the years, they’ve grown closer than they ever anticipated, know each other better than anyone else. 

And without realizing it, Nacho himself is slowly turning more and more into a true Salamanca.

[ranposlittle]

Hi, I was wondering if could have a matchup? I'm really shy around people but I open up when I get to know them! I love reading books and I'm pretty short I'm also an INFP-T and that's all!

I ship you with:

──────〔 KUNIKIDA DOPPO 〕──────

It's common and almost stereotypical for INFPs to be represented as this dreamy, peace-loving hippie. Some people might even think this perceived calmness or shyness is a sign of a weak mind as INFPs tend to look for a silver lining on everything when logic-focused people will see none. However, in reality, INFPs like you have an inner flame and passion. You let yourself be guided by your own principles rather than any practicality out there, and you would fight to defend these said principles.

It may not seem like it would work at first glance but Kunikida, being the man with ideals, will surely be of interest to you. The more that you put yourself inside his world and open your mind to understand where he's standing, you'll see the purity of his intentions. You'll see how, just like you, you'll look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue when faced with a decision to make. It may not always be the best course of action, but as long as you stay true to yourself and the beliefs that makes up who you are, you are willing to deal with the consequences.

In comparison, Kunikida will also be wary of you at first. After all, the risk of feeling misunderstood is high for an INFP. But you've piqued his interest once he saw that- despite being different to his own- you have your own set of ideals. You have the strength to stand by them and live your life according to them. Suddenly, you don't feel much like a stranger to him anymore. In fact, he thinks it's commendable how you manage to stay soft in this cold world, having a wonderous mindset that the dark reality seemed to fail to poison multiple times. He can see how strong you are now as a person and it was this eccentric yet authentic personality of yours that just made him want to chase a rainbow with you; whether there's a pot of gold at the end of it or not.

Since you love reading, finding Kunikida's collection of self-help books helped to ease your boredom. However, you didn't realize that he keeps his personal notebook on the same shelf until you took it out. You flipped through it nonchalantly, going over the ideals that he has already mentioned to you. Once you get to read the overly detailed list of Kunikida's ideal woman though, you can't help but feel a sudden anxiousness. You've only read the half of it but it almost seems like you're not meeting a lot of these expectations. Should you change? Are you doing too much? Are you doing too little? Is he even happy with you? Millions of questions raced into your mind and since INFPs tend to internalize a lot of their negative feelings, you started to overanalyze everything. There were about a hundred of worst case scenarios that has already plagued your mind by the end of the day, you couldn't even look Kunikida straight in the eye. He picked up on this easily and it took precisely three romantic dinner dates before your worries eased up. Although Kunikida knows that your doubts might never go away, he would try his bestest to keep it at bay. He made special adjustments on his daily schedule to make sure he makes you feel valid everyday. He truly believes that it's the everyday things that counts and he's got all the patience in the world to work through that.

Speaking of which, one other sentiment that you share with Kunikida is not rushing to commitment. You're both willing to spend a lot of time making sure you're compatible as one can be to their partner. Aside from that, both of you might take your time becoming physically intimate as familiarizing and adapting to one another is a much more important aspect in the dynamic. Quarrels would be more elusive because of this mutual understanding between the two of you.

Overall, I think Kunikida could be a good match for you because this man deserves a lot of love. And being an INFP, you're generous in your affection. Kunikida could also bring some growth in your life as he keeps you grounded from the reality. You might find it difficult to deal with it sometimes but you can make sure he's there to help. It was also mentioned that INFPs tend to look for the good in everything and everyone, that suggests that you approach new relationships with inherent value and trust. A truly worthy investment as Kunikida will return that same level of trust to you, giving you both a relationship with healthy personal independence. Lastly, as an INFP, you could be a hopeless romantic. Sometimes this leads you to disappointment, but Kunikida will appreciate the opportunity to express love in a sort of "old-fashion" way. It would be his total pleasure to know that if he brings you flowers, stick cheesy love notes on the fridge for you to find or take you on a boat ride by the lake, you won't gag from it all. Nor you won't feel like he's being too much. He just thinks that he can be free to express his adoration towards you without the feeling that you'll judge him. He loves that he gets to show that side of him with you. He loves calling you his "lady" because he thinks the height difference between the two of you makes you look so dainty and lovely, deserving to be protected and treasured.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Hello, virisaurus!! Here's your matchup~ 💗 I hope you like it. I'm an INFP-T myself so it's really nice to meet you. Also, you didn't mention any preference so I just assumed that you would like a male one (since most of my readers are females). Thank you for dropping by! I hope this was worth the wait~ take care~ (๑´`๑)♡

[diepower]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Kaiman     AGE: 27       CONTACT: IM, ask, discord

CHARACTER(S): Meninas McAllon, Orihime Inoue, Retsu Unohana, Mashiro Kuna, Tier Harribel, Charlotte Chuuhlhourne

CURRENT FANDOM(S): That I write in? It’s gonna be Bleach, OVW (super selectively im just here for one person), ASOIAF (barely- literally when the mood strikes and that one is private also). I have a lot of current interests in general though.

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: While I don’t have anything fully established... I’ve been working with an ASOIAF au (for Harribel & Unohana specifically, though I’m considering it with other characters too), A Dorohedoro AU (for Unohana and Orihime), as well as a Persona AU (more specifically 2&3) for Orihime. I’ve also got a number of post-canon AUs or continuities for all my characters as well!

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, super basic Spanish, barest ASL, fairly good French

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA (2para is a sweet spot but it really doesn’t matter to me)

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    ONLY BY MUTUALS?:  YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL NOTHING TOO DEEP / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (i let them build up too often but some of yall are too quick to reply jkglfjdgsd)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / MONTHS / YEARS / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS (italicized are okay, but under really specific circumstances)

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  I’m pretty anal about plotting in that I often refuse to RP unless it’s been plotted or I liked a starter call. And in the case of the latter, I’ll still hop into DMs to plot further depending on where the thread takes us. That said, the best way to reach me is through IMs or Discord (available on request). The only time I turn down plots is if I feel like it would put my character in an OOC situation, and I especially dislike my character being one-sidedly used as a tool to further another character’s development without anything being reciprocated (this happens often especially wrt my healer characters)

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Communication is really important to me, especially with regards to comfort regarding certain plot elements, and approaching other in-character situations that might have multiple different solutions. I think it’s important that both characters involved get the same amount of development out of writing a thread, and I really hate the idea of being imbalanced as far as that goes (more on that below). That said, I’m always perfectly down to spitball plot ideas and tweak/refine other concepts because I really do enjoy plotting, it’s just super important to me that things are communicated clearly. I get extremely distressed and frustrated IRL if people just kinda throw stuff at me, and it often kills my muse.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I make an active effort to come up with plots that are engaging and beneficial fairly equally to both parties. I mentioned this above, but especially in the case of writing my healer characters, I have a huge disdain for characters being used as tools to further development while getting nothing substantial in return. That said, I try to be very aware of this in terms of a potential writing partner being on the receiving end. IMO it feels like shit, but I definitely don’t want to make someone else feel that way either. That said, so long as stuff is plotted out clearly and me and the writer are both okay with it, then it’s fine. COMMUNICATION IS KEY, BASICALLY.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I kinda just like to throw spaghetti at the wall and whatever sticks, I’m down to fly with. I have a lot of ideas, but again, I like to give my partners the option of doing whatever they’re comfortable with, and h aving equal contribution opportunities.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

- AND WHY?: Everyone has their own circumstances, I really don’t mind. If it’s one I’ve been especially looking forward to, I might be bummed, but it’s no skin off my nose really.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: I don’t typically drop threads or abandon them during their writing. The only thing that would make me do so is offensive content, or huge plot elements being introduced that makes my character ooc and wasn’t previously discussed during plotting.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

-AND WHY?: I already feel like I need to take a lot of extra steps to understand others and be understood, and that isn’t something often reciprocated. In my experience, just honest communication is the quickest solution to issues that crop up during writing. For those who HAVE actually had me reach out to them in this way, I really do try to be polite and respectful while being straightforward so the situation can be resolved without any hurt feelings.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: As long as it’s constructive, and not merely negativity, I welcome it. After all, I can’t fix a huge flaw in my writing without having an alternative solution. I’m open to accepting feedback and critique, especially wrt Meninas since my portrayal is quite a large departure from popular fanon perception (from those who choose to pay attention to her, lol), but I also thrive on suggested remedies and solutions to issues in my writing.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I like to tell stories, and I like to tell narratives that take root in emotional expression and how those feelings can act as a vehicle to the storytelling. I want to move people through feeling, because it can be a powerful experience. I use a lot of inspiration from themes in my other favorite series, as well as inspiration from my own personal experiences as well. I tend to pick characters who have one or two traits in common with myself, whether those be negative or positive. I’m very excited to share all the things I have planned for Meninas, as she’s certainly my most ambitious project to date.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  For Meninas specifically, I want to interact with Squad 11 and Squad 9 during the CFYOW verse I have planned. Hisagi specifically would be interesting because of the clash of ideals, in addition to being the only other living person to be able to relate to the horror of being under Pepe’s thrall. I’d also like to steal Ikkaku’s bankai, and have more fight scenes. Lastly, Meninas doesn’t do much of anything in CFYOW, so more interactions with Mayuri and Squad 12 would be cool.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: I don’t mind briefly referencing darker themes in my writing, especially wrt my own personal experiences, but I want to be very clear that I refuse to write at length or romanticize these themes. I refuse to write anything involving rape, homophobia, transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc, with this in mind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Unless previously discussed, I struggle with starters that have a character pushing mine away. If the situation is super OOC for my character to be in, or frankly too mundane. In Meninas’ case, most domestic stuff is a snoozefest for me (but I LOVE this for other characters).

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  *saoirse ronan voice* Women. UHHH but no, for real... I like fleshing out female characters quite a bit. Personality types are varied, but I like characters who have some level of nuance to their emotional expression whether it’s an internal or external struggle. I like powerful women too, and the exploration of “strength” as a theme (esp at the intersection of the theme of “femininity” and its expressions) whether this is external strength or internal fortitude. I think I play a wide variety of characters who have vastly different thoughts, beliefs, and forms of expression, but I try to find something in common with who I portray to act as a touch stone. I also like characters who have themes of “justice” and nuanced morality.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: 99% of male characters. And I also hate tsunderes gjklsdjfd

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I really like my writing style especially wrt using emotion to set a cinematic scene and overall tone. I think I’m really strong with conveying emotion, especially with things that are often unspoken. I try to communicate with partners clearly and establish rapports. I love writing headcanons and have a TON of plot ideas as well.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Oh I’m the slowest replier on the planet and I’m apparently intimidating lol

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS (i prefer to go into detail about sensations, rather than the actual acts as it comes off stifled and weirdly technical)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Honestly I just do what Meninas tells me.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: Kink stuff is weird territory for me, absolutely gotta be discussed in private and comfort levels clearly established.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO. Relationships in general rule, and while I do have a romantic ship that plays a large part in Meninas’ plot, the romance comes secondary to the plot itself. I really enjoy writing and developing romances, but more than that I like establishing connections. I love the relationships I’ve got planned with Giselle, Candice, Liltotto, and Bambietta because there are going to be a LOT of drastically different things that inform my portrayal of Meninas coming from these relationships (both positive and negative, but ultimately places of growth).

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. Like I said, plot comes first. And especially in the case of Meninas, she has a lot of self exploration and reflection to do before she can engage in a healthy relationship or address any feelings of romance. I do place a large focus on the formation of her relationships and how they shape the way she relates to other people and grows as a person, but I am extremely sensitive to making sure I’m not writing a female character who’s entire development is dependent on a romance with a male character- perish the thought lol.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: For Meninas, it’s a matter of her acknowledging, understanding, and accepting that she can be worth more than how useful she is to others. She had a series of traumatizing and character defining experiences regarding love, romance, and personal worth that strongly shaped the way she perceives her relationships to others and her emotional expression. Trust is another huge factor for me, Meninas needs to be around someone she believes in. Strength is another aspect. She likes someone who challenges her, keeps her on her toes, and is sturdy like physically. Because she’ll break you. THAT SAID- Meninas tends to be open wrt her body, but closed off when it comes to her heart. Hate to see it, love to write it.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. As long as the premise makes sense. I like relationships to have some matter of significance and planning, especially because of how I’ve written the way Meninas picks and chooses who to get close to in Silbern depending on what suits her interests. Genuine friendship is a weird thing for Meninas, as most of her relationships are formed out of convenience. If you aren’t useful to Meninas’ schemeing, then she has no interest in dealing with you beyond platitudes and keeping up appearances and will interact with you as such.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: WE LOVE DUPLICITOUS WOMEN! No, but at the core of my Meninas characterization, the sentiment is “Everything is not as it appears” even down to the relationships she has with others. Meninas’ entire personality is constructed as a survival tactic from an early age (in addition to being a way to make herself more useful as a tool to others, and thus seen as having more worth in general), and as a result, she hasn’t really allowed herself to live life as a fully realized person. Her plots generally offer silent rebellion, playing a role in regards to her self presentation, chaotic mean girl level bullshit, and cool fights/training. Also you get to interact with a big buff lady. That said about her personality, it depends on the verse. CFYOW Meninas will be more unhinged, while post-CFYOW Meninas will be more honest and rowdy.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Muses who are standoffish or disengage right at the start. Meninas doesn’t interact with people without a certain purpose, so if they aren’t interested, she’s not going to be either.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  Revenge, strength, redefining what “power” means in terms of how the world works. She wants to see the Shinigami dead for their role in her parents deaths, and feels the same about Yhwach.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Ability, potential threat, perceived strength, where loyalty lies; how potentially useful you can be to her.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Strength both in a physical sense, but also in belief and convictions. Honesty, and understanding the flaws of the world they live in.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Fighting, beauty, freedom, abolishing Quincy classism based on blood purity, music, fashion, blacksmithing.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Blind loyalty to Yhwach, talking about the horrors of war as if it doesn’t concern them, Bambietta, Quincy supremacy,

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  Her parents were killed in the first Quincy war and she was left abandoned and grew up literally fighting for her life and living on the streets. She often likens fighting pits to the bowels of Hell (and I often play with the ironic theme of crawling out of hell to appear as an angel or something divine). She is consumed by a quest for revenge, and strongly believes her ends will justify the means taken to fulfill her ideal. As a direct result of these experiences, her emotional health and maturity is severely affected, and she doesn’t view herself as a person worthy or capable of feeling as much as a tool who, in the right hands, can be utilized to bring about the revenge she craves.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  (1) Men who feel non-consensually entitled to her body. That said, she’s done a fairly excellent job at maintaining control and an unassuming threatening nature despite the widely known understanding of her Schrift ability and how it augments. (2) Someone touching her Quincy cross, as it’s her most precious and private item. (3) Anyone who dares get in the way of her plans that can’t be manipulated in some other useful aspect.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Meninas hates Yhwach, and the Shinigami most predominately, but she also harbors disgust for Hollows as an instinct. That said, her young life was spent detached from Quincy culture (in addition to being a Gemischt and the inherent isolation that comes with that status), so despite her early induction into the Wandenreich ranks, Meninas does not harbor the same Quincy nationalism and loyalty that others of her race do. They’re a means to an end, and just happen to help her become stronger.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: She comes off as easy to approach, but if you want genuine Meninas I’m sorry the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected. Goodbye!

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Everything I’ve written about her is based in headcanon! I’ve got both a lengthy biography as well as headcanons gathered in the sidebar links on my blog.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED BY: @bazzardburner​ TAGGING: i think this has made its rounds so steal it!

[anwar-syriaa]

انا احب التركيز على المواضيع التي تهتم في مجال تطوير الذات و تم تناول موضوع" assertiveness " وبعد بحث دام لعدة ساعات توصلت لهذه المعلومات ارجو ان تنال اعجابكم وانا شخصيا استفدت كثيرا من هذا البحث

المعلومات الواردة ادناه مقتبسة من خمس مواقع الكترونية

↘➡We have all heard people say “You need to be more assertive!” ↙⬅

But what exactly is assertiveness ⁉🤔

TO ASSERT -- To state an opinion, claim a right, or establish authority. If you assert yourself, you behave in a way that expresses your confidence, importance or power and earns you respect from others. - From the Oxford English Dictionary

'Assertiveness is standing up for your right to be treated fairly. It is expressing your opinions, needs, and feelings, without ignoring or hurting the opinions, needs, and feelings of others.'

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive

Assertiveness can help you control stress and  anger and improve coping skills.

Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others.

Because people want to be liked and thought of as 'nice' or 'easy to get along with', they often keep their opinions to themselves, especially if those opinions conflict with other people's. But this sometimes leads to being taken advantage of by people who are not as nice or considerate. Asserting yourself will stop others from cheating you and you from cheating yourself out of what you deserve.

↘Assertive behavior includes:↙

1- Starting, changing, or ending conversations

2-Sharing feelings, opinions, and experiences with others

3-Making requests and asking for favors

4-Refusing others' requests if they are too demanding

5-Questioning rules or traditions that don't make sense or don't seem fair

6-Addressing problems or things that bother you

7-Being firm so that your rights are respected

8-Expressing positive emotions

9-Expressing negative emotions

🛑Myths about Assertiveness 🛑

🚫Myth 1🚫 “Assertiveness is basically the same as being aggressive”. Debunking the myth: Some people who are aggressive think they are being assertive because they are stating what their needs are. It is true that both assertive and aggressive communication involves stating your needs; however there are very important differences between stating your needs assertively and stating them aggressively. There are differences in the words used, the tone taken, and the body language used.

🚫Myth 2 🚫 “If I am assertive I will get what I want”. Debunking the myth: Being assertive does not mean that you always get what you want. In fact being assertive is not a guarantee of any outcome at all. Being assertive is about expressing yourself in a way that respects both your needs and the needs of others. Sometimes this means you get what you want, sometimes you won’t get what you want at all and sometimes you will come to a mutually satisfactory compromise.

🚫Myth 3🚫 “If I am assertive I have to be assertive in every situation” Debunking the myth: Understanding how to be assertive provides you with the choice of when to be assertive. It does not mean you have to be assertive in every situation. You may come to the realisation in certain situations that being assertive is not the most helpful way to behave.

Being assertive may place you at risk as the other person is not being rational. In this case you may make the decision that a passive approach is the most beneficial. Learning to be assertive is about providing yourself with a choice!

Why assertive communication makes sense ❓❔ ‼

Because assertiveness is based on mutual respect, it's an effective and diplomatic communication style. Being assertive shows that you respect yourself because you're willing to stand up for your interests and express your thoughts and feelings. It also demonstrates that you're aware of the rights of others and are willing to work on resolving conflicts.

Of course, it's not just what you say — your message — but also how you say it that's important. Assertive communication is direct and respectful. Being assertive gives you the best chance of successfully delivering your message. If you communicate in a way that's too passive or too aggressive, your message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to your delivery.

↪Assertive vs. passive behavior↩

If your style is passive, you may seem to be shy or overly easygoing. You may routinely say things such as "I'll just go with whatever the group decides." You tend to avoid conflict. Why is that a problem? Because the message you're sending is that your thoughts and feelings aren't as important as those of other people. In essence, when you're too passive, you give others the license to disregard your wants and needs.

Consider this example: You say yes when a colleague asks you to take over a project, even though your plate is full, and the extra work means you'll have to work overtime and miss your daughter's soccer game. Your intention may be to keep the peace. But always saying yes can poison your relationships. And worse, it may cause you internal conflict because your needs and those of your family always come second.

The internal conflict that can be created by passive behavior can lead to:

1-Stress

2-Resentment

3-Seething anger

4-Feelings of victimization

5-Desire to exact revenge

↪Assertive vs. aggressive behavior↩

Now consider the flip side. If your style is aggressive, you may come across as a bully who disregards the needs, feelings and opinions of others. You may appear self-righteous or superior. Very aggressive people humiliate and intimidate others and may even be physically threatening.

You may think that being aggressive gets you what you want. However, it comes at a cost. Aggression undercuts trust and mutual respect. Others may come to resent you, leading them to avoid or oppose you.

↪Assertive vs. passive-aggressive behavior↩

Now consider passive-aggressive behavior. If you communicate in a passive-aggressive manner, you may say yes when you want to say no. You may be sarcastic or complain about others behind their backs. Rather than confront an issue directly, you may show your anger and feelings through your actions or negative attitude. You may have developed a passive-aggressive style because you're uncomfortable being direct about your needs and feelings.

What are the drawbacks of a passive-aggressive communication style ❔

Over time, passive-aggressive behavior damages relationships and undercuts mutual respect, thus making it difficult for you to get your goals and needs met.

The benefits of being assertive

Being assertive is usually viewed as a healthier communication style. Being assertive offers many benefits. It helps you keep people from walking all over you. It can also help you from steamrolling others.

Behaving assertively can help you:

1-Gain self-confidence and self-esteem

2-Understand and recognize your feelings

3-Earn respect from others

4-Improve communication

5-Create win-win situations

6-Improve your decision-making skills

7-Create honest relationships

8-Gain more job satisfaction

Learning to be more assertive can also help you effectively express your feelings when communicating with others about issues.

Learning to be more assertive

People develop different styles of communication based on their life experiences. Your style may be so ingrained that you're not even aware of what it is. People tend to stick to the same communication style over time. But if you want to change your communication style, you can learn to communicate in healthier and more effective ways

↪Here are some tips to help you become more assertive:↩

1-Assess your style.

 Do you voice your opinions or remain silent? Do you say yes to additional work even when your plate is full? Are you quick to judge or blame? Do people seem to dread or fear talking to you? Understand your style before you begin making changes.

2-Use 'I' statements. Using "I" statements lets others know what you're thinking or feeling without sounding accusatory. For instance, say, "I disagree," rather than, "You're wrong." If you have a request, say "I would like you to help with this" rather than "You need to do this." Keep your requests simple and specific.

3-Practice saying no. 

If you have a hard time turning down requests, try saying, "No, I can't do that now." Don't hesitate — be direct. If an explanation is appropriate, keep it brief.

4-Rehearse what you want to say. 

If it's challenging to say what you want or think, practice typical scenarios you encounter. Say what you want to say out loud. It may help to write it out first, too, so you can practice from a script. Consider role-playing with a friend or colleague and ask for blunt feedback.

5-Use body language.

 Communication isn't just verbal. Act confident even if you aren't feeling it. Keep an upright posture, but lean forward a bit. Make regular eye contact. Maintain a neutral or positive facial expression. Don't cross your arms or legs. Practice assertive body language in front of a mirror or with a friend or colleague.

6-Keep emotions in check.

 Conflict is hard for most people. Maybe you get angry or frustrated, or maybe you feel like crying. Although these feelings are normal, they can get in the way of resolving conflict. If you feel too emotional going into a situation, wait a bit if possible. Then work on remaining calm. Breathe slowly. Keep your voice even and firm.

7-Start small. 

At first, practice your new skills in situations that are low risk. For instance, try out your assertiveness on a partner or friend before tackling a difficult situation at work. Evaluate yourself afterward and tweak your approach as necessary.

↪When you need help being assertive ❔ 👀 ↩

Remember, learning to be assertive takes time and practice. If you've spent years silencing yourself, becoming more assertive probably won't happen overnight. Or if anger leads you to be too aggressive, you may need to learn some anger management techniques.

If despite your best efforts you're not making progress toward becoming more assertive, consider formal assertiveness training. And if certain issues such as anger, stress, anxiety or fear are getting in your way, consider talking with a mental health provider. The payoff will be worth it. By becoming more assertive, you can begin to express your true feelings and needs more easily. You may even find that you get more of what you want as a result.

[girls-scenarios]

Wishing Aloud

Idol: Sana (Twice)

Prompt: I absolutely LOVE your scenarios (I just love this account in general) but for a scenario can you do a Sana one where the reader asks Sana to fake date them to have someone to vent to at their family gatherings and after some time they realize that they actually like Sana (This “wow… have your eyes always been this nice?” has been in my notes for a while so I wanted to have a good opportunity to use it lmao)

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: Another fake dating scenario! These are pretty fun to write, especially since the fake dating trope is one of my favorites. Also this is kind of a high school au but it’s not super obvious. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this scenario as much as I enjoyed writing it!

“You want me to date you?” Sana’s voice rang out, a little bit too loud for your liking, and you could feel your face heating up. Maybe asking your friend to be your fake date wasn’t the best idea.

“Fake date me. I have this family gathering coming up and everyone is going to be asking me about personal things and being annoying and I need someone to vent to.” Even as the words came out of your mouth, you thought they sounded a bit stupid. But you had to try. You really couldn’t go through another family gathering alone.

Sana seemed to think about it for a moment, leaning back in her seat. There was something in her face that you couldn’t decipher, but you tried to ignore it.

“Okay. All I have to do is hang out and talk to you, right?” You nodded your head.

“Yep. You don’t even have to be a good actor. Just say we met in school, since it’s true. I doubt if you’re there that my family will bother us too much.” She gave you a grin and leaned forward over the table, where the two of you were doing homework.

“I can do that. When’s this family gathering?”

“This Friday. You’re free, right?”

“I’m totally free. Although I hope it won’t be too boring.” You laughed.

“They’ll have plenty of food, so I doubt you’ll be too bored.”

“Now that’s what I wanted to hear.” You’d had your doubts, but maybe this would actually work out. You smiled as you listened to Sana talk, and ignored the nervous feeling in your chest. What could go wrong?

-

A few days later, and the day before the family gathering, Sana sat in your room on your bed, right across from you.

“Should we, like, practice or something?” She asked, leaning back against your wall. You looked up from the little sheet you’d filled out about things couples should do and gave her a look.

“Practice what?” She shrugged her shoulders, looking a bit too calm for the situation at hand.

“Holding hands or something, I don’t know. Couple things. Since we don’t act very couple-y normally.” It wasn’t a bad idea, and you looked back down at your list.

“So, you think we should practice holding hands, being comfortable hugging each other, and what our story is in case anyone asks us?” She nodded her head, giving you a wide smile. The sun was still bright outside your window, but she seemed not to be bothered by the sunlight streaming onto her face. For a moment, your breath caught in your throat as you looked at her, but you quickly shook away the feeling. Now was not the time.

“That’s exactly what I think. Come on!” She patted the space next to her, and you moved to sit next to her, heart beating a bit quicker than normal. You waved it off as being nervous about pulling everything off as you sat beside her and took her hand in your own. It was oddly intimate, but you didn’t hate it. “Okay, what’s our story again?”

You cleared your throat and looked down at your paper. “Well, we met at school because we had some mutual friends and started hanging out. After a while, you asked me out and we started dating. We’ve been dating for a few weeks now, so it won’t be weird if we’re still a bit awkward.”

“Why was I the one to ask you out?”

“Because my family knows that I’d be too awkward to actually ask you out myself.”

“Good point. Keep that in.” She leaned against you, and your heartbeat got faster. Willing it to go away, you focused on the paper, telling yourself that she was just playing the part.

“Does that all sound believable?” She laughed and turned to face you. She was only inches from your face, but you tried not to think about it.

“I think we’ll fool everyone.”

-

When the next night rolled around, you were nervous for more reasons than one. On one hand, you had to convince your family that you were dating Sana and hope that they didn’t say or do anything embarrassing, and on the other hand, you’d been having some confusing feelings that you didn’t want to think about.

So instead of thinking about them, you focused on making yourself look nice instead. Both because your family would point out any flaws, and, well, for Sana. Even though she’d seen you look a mess before, it just felt right to dress up a bit for her. Your parents gave you a weird look when you said you’d be bringing your girlfriend to the gathering, but since you’d told them you had a girlfriend after Sana agreed with your plan, they didn’t seem to suspect anything.

When Sana appeared outside your door, she was just as pretty as ever. Had she always been so pretty? It was getting late, but the evening sun made her look a ethereal in her cute dress and styled hair, and when she gave you a smile, your heart did a little jump. Breathlessly, you stepped aside to let her inside, and introduced her to your parents with a slightly shaky voice.

She seemed to think your nervousness was because of your plan, and she bumped your hip with her own as a little sign of encouragement, but it just made it worse being so close to her.

Your parents joked about you somehow managing to get a girlfriend as pretty as Sana, and then all of you piled into the family car and headed away. On the way there, Sana turned to face you and you really got to look at her. She’d put on more makeup than usual today, and she looked really mature and pretty. If there were any second thoughts in your head, it was because you weren’t sure you’d be able to act normal with her beside you.

When everyone climbed out of the car, she grabbed your hand and you jumped a bit before telling yourself to calm down.

“Are you okay?” She asked, giving you a little look. The two of you lingered behind your family as you walked up to the door, and you nodded, looking back at her.

“Yeah, just a bit nervous.” Get it together, you told yourself, steeling your nerves. If you were too awkward, nobody would ever believe this. Since when had you been so awkward around your close friend?

She didn’t push it, and the two of you stepped inside. Immediately, you were attacked by your extended family, aunts and uncles and cousins falling down on you to ask questions and pinch your cheeks like you were still a little kid. It drove you crazy, and was a little annoying, but you put on a smile and introduced them all to Sana, waving away their weird questions as you held her hand tight and navigated your way around them.

Finally, the two of you were in the kitchen and able to breathe, and Sana turned to look at you, her eyes wide.

“You weren’t kidding about your family.” You felt your face heating up in embarrassment as you handed her a plate.

“Yeah, sorry. They’re.... Really something.”

“Nothing to apologize about, I knew what I was getting myself into,” she said, giving you a smile as she walked over to get some of the food. “What do you usually do at these things?”

“Find the game room and chill on my phone,” you joked, following behind her. “Otherwise people get all up in my business. The kids are kinda loud and annoying but they aren’t going to be nosy and rude or say controversial things.”

“I totally get that,” Sana said, shaking her head as she reached the end of the table and grabbed a fork. “The only reason I go to our family reunions is for the food.”

“My parents would get upset if I didn’t come, so I come.” 

It was nice to be talking normally with Sana again, and you hoped the awkwardness from earlier wouldn’t come back as you led her back to the game room. Some of your younger cousins were already there, but you gave them a quick hello and headed for the bean bag at the corner of the room.

“It’s so cute!” Sana said as she sat down on the large, brightly colored beanbag. “I love it and I want one.”

“Right? It turns into a bed too, which is crazy.”

“No kidding. Who needs a bed? When I move out I’m just gonna get one of these things.” You laughed as you sat down beside her, crowded close because of size.

“Only you, Sana.” She grinned, looking happy to have made you laugh, and you realized suddenly that you liked being around her like this, with her arm pressed up against yours. She took a bite of her food and looked over to watch your cousins play their video game, completely unaware of your internal turmoil. Why were you thinking like this all of a sudden.

You looked at her again, and your heart skipped a beat.

“(Y/N), look, your cousin’s are so good at this game!” She grabbed your hand, and you wanted her to hold it forever. The realization washed over you like a wave, and you didn’t know what to say because you liked her. You wanted to date her for real.

“They’re really good,” you said, trying to play it as cool as possible and hoping your hands weren’t sweating. If she could tell anything, she didn’t show it, instead leaning forward to give one of your younger cousins a high-five with her free hand.

“(Y/N), you have a girlfriend?” One of your younger cousins asked, causing the rest of them to pause what they were doing and turn around to stare. You could feel your face heating up, but Sana grinned and leaned forward.

“Yep, I’m (Y/N)’s girlfriend Sana!” She said it so naturally, like the very words didn’t make your heart race. One of the kids gave the two of you a look.

“I don’t believe you!” He said, pointing. Sana raised her eyebrows, and you shot him a look.

“Why not?”

“(Y/N) isn’t cool enough to have a girlfriend as pretty as you.”

“I think (Y/N) is plenty cool,” Sana said, and you looked at her.

“You do?” You asked, and she nodded at you, grinning. It was totally sincere.

“Then prove it,” another one of your little cousins said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Kiss her, (Y/N)!” Both of your eyes widened, and you looked at each other, both blushing. You didn’t know what to do, because you wanted to prove your cousins wrong and stick with the plan, but kissing Sana? As if your heart wasn’t already having enough trouble. Something seemed to be happening behind Sana’s eyes as well, but you couldn’t read her features well enough to figure it out.

“Fine,” she said finally, and leaned forward, catching your chin in her fingers. You swallowed thickly and your eyes fluttered closed as her lips touched yours, a soft, gentle kiss. But it didn’t feel fake, and you found yourself wanting more when she pulled away. “Does that prove it?”

“Ewww!” The kids chorused, but they seemed satisfied, done interrogating the two of you. As they turned away, the two of you avoided each other’s eyes, looking back down at the near-empty plates on your laps. You liked Sana, and there would be no denying it now. The question was if she liked you back, or if it would look like you’d made up this whole thing to trick her into dating you. It felt weird, but you couldn’t stop thinking about it, even when your cousins dragged you into playing one of their games.

-

The rest of the night flew by with shy touches, and by the time it was almost over, the two of you were standing outside in the twilight, waiting for your family.

“Well, that was interesting,” Sana said, voice softer than you’d ever heard her speak. But she didn’t sound upset, which was good.

“Good interesting or bad interesting?”

“Good interesting. Your cousins are a mess.” You huffed and shook your head.

“They’re all brats.” She laughed, and the two of you were quiet for a moment more, leaning against the house and looking up at the sky. A shooting star shot across the sky and Sana gasped, reaching over to grab your hand.

“(Y/N), I shooting star! Make a wish!” You focused on it, mouth a bit open in awe, and made a wish. A wish you’d been thinking of all night. A wish that you hoped she was making too.

The two of you sat in silence again, staring in the direction that the star had disappeared, until Sana cleared her throat.

“What did you wish for?”

“If you say a wish out loud, it won’t come true.” She pouted a bit, and leaned back against the wall, thinking.

“Well, what if it’s a wish that won’t come true if you don’t say something aloud?” You looked at her, eyebrows raised.

“What kind of wish is that?” She was quiet again for a moment, looking up at the sky.

“I wished that we were actually dating, instead of fake dating,” she finally said, voice so soft only you could hear it. Your heart jumped in your chest, and you wondered if you were hearing things. But it had to be true. The only people outside were you and her, and you couldn’t have misheard when you heard the words so clearly. Still, it felt like a dream.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I like you. Sorry.” Quickly, you sat up away from the wall, panicking a bit at the slightly sad look on her face.

“Don’t be sorry! I- I like you too!” Her eyes widened and she looked at you.

“Wait, really? Since when?”

“I guess I finally realized it yesterday when you held my hand and everything. I really liked it and it made me really nervous, but I thought you didn’t feel the same.” She smiled at you, cute in the moonlight.

“I was so worried to do this with you because I liked you so much. But now I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you did too.” She was still holding your hand, and you couldn’t stop staring into her eyes.

“Does this mean we’re dating for real now?”

“I really hope so,” you said, and she giggled, tugging you closer. You could hear your family nearing the door, but you couldn’t say you cared if they caught you this close to her. Not when you were totally head over heels and totally happy.

“I’d be your real girlfriend any day of the week.”

[rosesisupposes]

Destined, part 13

aka Seeking Advice from Glasses Nerds

Character Tags: Virgil/Anixety ; Patton/Creativity ; Patton/Morality ; Logan/Logic ; Remy/Sleep ; Dante/Deceit

Chapter Pairings: Logicality, Prinxiety mention, Platonic Moxiety/Analogical

Chapter Warnings: blushing & puns  (i have two settings: angst/worldbuilding and blushing)

Reader Tags: @residentanchor @royally-anxious  @bewarethegrammarpolice   @fellowthomassandersfander @jemthebookworm

Summary: After centuries of acting as an oracle to heroes, quest-seekers, and villains alike, Virgil just wants to live as a normal, modern human. For someone who can see infinite probabilities, you’d think he’d know better.

<<Chapter 12 | Masterlist | Chapter 14>>

Read on ao3 [updated]

The morning had been a complete and utter mess.

Virgil and Gilda’s careful truce was utterly ruined whenever Virgil was distracted, and sweet Sybill was he distracted the rest of that day. His black hoodie was a mess with steamed milk and flavored syrup stains, and he was pretty sure coffee grounds were, well, ground into his sleeve and never coming out.

The one saving grace was that the sorcerer had caused him to be late today, so Roman hadn’t seen him looking like a mess of a somewhat-human-being. Remy had informed him with far too much glee that Roman had looked disappointed when he’d come in to see Virgil missing, and that Remy had flirted extra hard to make up for it.

If he hadn’t already been a mess of indecision and worry, Virgil would probably have been more annoyed by that. As it was, he was much more worried that he was going to get Roman hurt than whether he’d ever text him.

Remy was about to sail upstairs to sleep when he looked Virgil up and down, frowning.

“Boi, you are a mess. What has happened to your clothes?”

“I blame Gilda.”

“How dare you, she has done nothing wrong, ever, in her life. Here, you’re not my size, but I think you’re Antony’s. This should fit you.”

His boss tossed him a distressed purple t-shirt. Virgil started walking to the back room to change, then stopped. “Wait. Where did this come from, you’ve been downstairs all morning.”

“From the back. Antony… left it there. Last week,” Remy replied with a self-satisfied smirk.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “It’s a good thing the health inspector is in love with you.”

Remy shrugged. “It’s not my fault I’m the perfect man. Go change, I can’t have you besmirching the aesthetic of How You Brewin’. We have a very attractive reputation to maintain.”

Virgil wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was very grateful for the shirt. It was hard to clean up the mess that was his thoughts when his entire appearance was a mess too. And to be honest, he dug the purple.

Feeling just a bit better, he made it through the rest of morning and early afternoon without any more spills. But he was still conflicted. What should he do about Dante’s destiny? He’d never been connected to a seen future in any way, let alone been infatuated with friendly with a pivotal actor in that future. Who would he even ask for advice? It’s not like Sages had parents.

But he wasn’t most Sages, he realized. There was someone who actually did call him ‘son.’

He made his way over to the bakery and saw, with a warm bubble of pride, that Logan was leaning against the side of the counter as he chatted with Patton, who was glazing pastries and smiling even larger than normal. It seemed that the happy resolution of months of mutual pining was constant conversation and flirting.

“Hey, if I’m interrupting I can come back later - I just need Patton’s advice on something,” he offered as he approached the counter.

Patton looked up at Logan, who smiled, still a little tentative and embarrassed, and said “Not a problem. I can leave you alone to consult.”

“Actually,” Virgil interrupted, “you can stay if you want. I… have a bit of an odd situation, and two perspectives would probably be better than one. Unless you have work to do.”

Logan rubbed his neck. “I probably do have work I could be doing, but now I’m intrigued. I will gladly assist if I’m able to do so.”

Virgil nodded and pulled himself up onto one of Patton’s only clean baking benches.

“Kiddo, I can get you a stool, you don’t need to sit up there...”

“Pat, I appreciate the offer, but right now I am too overwhelmed to worry about what is or what isn’t a chair,” he muttered, his anxiety heightening as he tried to think of how he’d explain his predicament. He wasn’t quite ready to tell them both that he was an ageless magical being.

“So. Um. I have a bit of an issue, but it’s kind of… private? It involves some sensitive details I don’t know that I can share,” he offered, not making eye contact.

“You only need to share as much as you want to, kiddo,” Patton said kindly, pulling up a stool.

“Unless, of course, the details are so crucial as to make any advice without them useless,” Logan interjected, sitting across from him.

“I hope that’s not the case - here, let’s try a hypothetical. You both know the trolley problem?” Virgil asked.

Logan’s eye widened. “Philippa Foot’s thought experiment? Of course, yes, I suddenly feel much more qualified for this discussion.”

“No, like the meme,” Virgil and Patton said at the same time.

“I… I don’t understand, but go on,” Logan said, lifting his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

“Okay, so, hypothetically, I know someone who has control of a lever to change the train tracks. He has a choice between an empty rail, and one with several people, whose death will somehow benefit him. Like, uh, the king and the next three in line for the throne before Lever Man. You’re following so far?”

Patton and Logan both nodded, Patton slightly more confused than his darker-haired friend.

“So, hypothetically, Mr. Lever is pretty likely to want to pull the lever towards the people, but there’s a small chance he won’t. He could decide last-minute to be merciful. The only way I know for a fact that he won’t flip the lever is if… um, Superman flies in, and forcibly pushes him to keep the lever on the empty track. But if Supes tries that, there’s a nonzero chance he’ll fall onto the empty track himself and be hit by the train.”

“Well obviously that would be the ideal situation, Superman will survive such a blow easily,” Logan offered.

“Okay, not Superman. Just a regular dude then, I don’t know what to call him…”

“Call him Logan!” Patton said eagerly.

“Um, why me?” Logan asked.

“Cause you’re my hero,” Patton said, smiling. Logan immediately blushed and looked down.

Virgil smirked and exaggeratedly rolled his eyes, then tried to pull them both back on track (Heh, track. Wait shit, no, he needed to focus. This was what happened when he spent this much time with Patton).

“We’re talking about trains, I’ll call the hero… Thomas. Like the Tank Engine.”

“More like Thomas the Dank Engine”

“Patton, buddy, focus. Okay. So the only person who can guarantee that Mr. Lever won’t kill the royals and become king is Thomas, but Thomas could get hurt or worse in the process. But, there’s also a chance that Mr. Lever will decide to not kill anyone. If I’m the only one who knows this… Do I have an obligation to tell Thomas?”

Logan looked pensive. “Hm. That is an interesting hypothetical. What would happen if you didn’t tell Thomas?”

Virgil thought. “I mean, there’s a chance that he’d still be in a position to stop Mr. Lever anyway, and so there’s a chance he would still be at risk, he would just be unprepared. But there would be an equal chance that he wouldn’t be in the right place at the right time without knowing, so the likelihood of Mr. Lever successfully going through with his plan is pretty high.”

Logan nodded. “And the risk of indeed telling him?”

“Well, best-case scenario, Thomas would choose to stop Mr. Lever, be successful, and not get hurt,” Virgil said with a sigh. “But I know better than to pin all my hopes on that happening. If he knew, and Mr. Lever was merciful on his own, then Thomas has been through a lot of worry and stress for nothing. Or, he could try to stop him and be unsuccessful and get hurt or killed in the process. Or he could be successful in stopping him and still get hurt or killed. Or he could choose to do nothing and feel like a coward for the rest of his life, or he could choose to do nothing and get killed along with the king anyway.” The speed of his words picked up as he listed possibilities, his perpetual internal monologue spilling out into the open like - well, like a runaway train. Those things were dangerous.

Patton put on hand on Virgil’s need and rubbed it reassuringly. “Hey, kiddo, take it easy, okay? Just let yourself relax. None of these things are happening just yet, it’s okay.”

Virgil nodded and took a deep breath, using meditation breathing to calm his elevated heart rate.

“It sounds like a big part of this question is you trying to decide what’s best for Thomas,” Patton continued. “But maybe, just maybe, that’s something he needs to decide for himself.”

Logan nodded in agreement. “Patton makes an excellent point. It seems like there many factors to consider, but only Thomas himself can accurately weigh their relative importance within his own life. The negative result of causing him unnecessary worry is far overshadowed by the other possible negative outcomes.”

Virgil looked at both his friends. Two serious yet supportive expressions looked back from behind matching black frames. “But…” he started

“Hehe, butt,” Patton snorted. “Sorry, go on, big guy!”

“But what if I, personally,” Virgil hesitated, “what if I care a lot for Thomas and don’t want to risk hurting him?”

Patton brightened, clapping his hands. “Awwww my son has a cruuushhhh.”

Logan cleared his throat, carefully looking directly at Virgil and nowhere else. “While I, ah, understand the heightened feelings of worry that go along with feelings of… affection… for someone, you can’t allow that to cloud your judgment here. Yes, you may cause Thomas some distress by telling him what you know, but imagine if the truth came out without your telling him. The most likely outcome would be a feeling of betrayal on his part.”

“You think so?” Virgil asked nervously.

“I know so, kiddo,” Patton answered. “If you really care about him and his well-being, you’ll let him make the choice himself. It may be hard, and yes, there’s a chance that you telling him will also make him feel betrayed. But if you speak from the heart and make it clear that you are only trying to help him to the best of your ability, I think you’ll find he’ll appreciate the effort.”

Virgil sighed, looking back and forth. “Thanks, guys. You’re right. I’m really glad I came to you both.”

Logan smiled. “Anytime, Virgil. And might I advise telling Roman sooner rather than later?”

Virgil blanched. “What? Who said anything about Roman? We were talking about, uh, Thomas, yeah. All hypothetical here.”

“You forget that I’m almost always in the cafe when Roman comes in. Particularly,” Logan smirked, “two days ago, when you spoke to him for several minutes and wrote your number on his coffee cup. I didn’t want to mention it earlier because it wasn’t relevant to the advice, but it was intuitively obvious even to the casual observer.”

Virgil heard a strange, strangled sound and turned to see Patton with both hands over his face, eyes shining with delight. “Ohhhhh that is so cute!!!” the paternal baker squealed.

“I. Um. It’s not really anything yet, and might not be ever, so don’t get your hopes up,” Virgil muttered. “Thanks again for the advice, I’m going to go… hide.”

He slid off the baker’s bench and slunk back to How You Brewin’ to start cleaning up for the night.

At least he knew what he needed to do now.

author’s note: This chapter brought to you by inspiration from Mind vs Heart and Alone on Valentine’s.

Also from my undying love for Logicality. Glasses love is the best love.

[actualshinguujicockrekiyo]

advances & advantages

ship: thorquill / thunderlord ( thor x peter quill, marvel cinematic universe ) 

summary: how their relationship came to be & just how thor utilizes his height and strenght

word count: 2201

warning! spoilers ahead! this takes place after infinity war! of course, this is my hypothetical scenario of what happens and is in no way canon. ( yet ; D )

under ‘ read more ‘

( let me know if you liked my first take on thorquill! i’m sorry if it’s bad, but i tried, it’s my first time taking a gander at either of them and i haven’t written a proper drabble in ages. let me know if you’d like more as well! )

After Thanos was defeated and all fell back to place, Thor didn’t know where to go. Loki hadn’t come back, so he was filled with grief. He couldn’t build a civilization alone, especially when he felt so broken. He didn’t feel like going back to earth either, all these memories just plagued him there. He didn’t want to be vulnerable, he didn’t want to build and he didn’t want to get hurt anymore. He felt that it was immature of him, he was a god and he was powerful, yet here he was, acting like a lost child. Fortunately for him though, Groot insisted he’d stay with the guardians. Drax agreed immediately, he thought they needed someone that was so powerful and manly, and had…incredible muscles. Rocket had warmed up rather quickly as well, saying something along the lines of Thor being the replacement in case Peter eats a bit too much. After hearing Drax laugh at that, Mantis too let out a forced and loud laugh, agreeing with the trash panda. The biggest road block there was Peter. He felt so challenged by Thor, he couldn’t possibly let him stay and the others were prepared to argue, but to their surprise Peter had let out a reluctant ‘fine’, promptly walking off. The Starlord felt too empty to be openly angry, the loss of Gamora had deeply affected him and he just couldn’t find the strength in him to fight Thor verbally. A small part of him understood the burly man since he had lost someone he deeply loved to Thanos as well, but it was all drowned out by the petty hatred that was so clearly visible in his eyes every time he looked at Thor.

It took weeks for Peter to finally look at Thor without the usual hostility and then it just so happened that the two got paired when the guardians were splitting up, a necessity for a mission. It felt like a practical joke from the rest of the team, it almost was. They needed to split into three teams, Groot naturally went with Rocket and Drax, after seeing them walk away and looking back at Thor ( who stood nearly next to Peter ), sucked in all of his pride and reminded himself that there will be more opportunities for him to fight alongside the handsome god of thunder. It was a vivid memory of them all, but Peter’s face, after hearing what Drax and Mantis had to say, was priceless.

“Since Quill is going to the lair of the beast, I think he could use the extra muscle.” Drax started, his usual loud tone booming through the wasteland.

Peter smiled hesitantly. “Alright then Drax-“ was all he managed to say before the infamous destroyer spoke again.

“Our good friend Thor can go with you!”

Peter seemed to choke up, but before he could say anything, Mantis spoke, smiling brightly at Drax. “That is a wonderful idea, Drax, some friendly…ass kicking should ease the tension between them! Let us go evacuate the civilians then!”

With that, Mantis and Drax were already walking off. Peter was left with Thor. He tried yelling for them to come back, that he was the one giving orders around here, but he heard Drax’s loud voice say that they should pretend they couldn’t hear him.

“Assholes,” Peter started, before inhaling sharply and looking at Thor. “This way.” He waved his hand and started walking, Thor matching his footsteps quickly.

During their trip Thor had asked Peter why he hated him so much. To be quite frank, he was quite sick of being ignored like this, he had some pride too. Peter dodged the question quickly, by telling the other that he should keep his eyes wide open instead of trying to make small-talk. Rolling his eyes, Thor dropped it. It was only during their fight with the beast they had to conquer that the shorter man opened up, by accident mostly. Peter tried so hard to be independent, to give Thor orders that contained mostly covering him so he could take the kill and tell the others that he was stronger, better, that Thor was no match for him. But yet, Thor had to keep saving his life from being taken by the beast numerous times during the fight.

“Why are you acting like a child?” Peter would never forget the thing that Thor had said back then. “Is it because of the woman you lost? That is not an incentive for you to act so immaturely, I am sure she would not have wanted you to-”

“Don’t speak for her like that!” Peter had exclaimed. “You don’t know her! You don’t know anything!”

“Then let me know!”

It truly was a moment Peter wouldn’t forget, him unloading everything in the middle of a fight with a giant beast to a man he thought he hated with all his might. But during that was when the two had been the most in-sync than they had ever been prior. Peter was angry and Thor could see it, so he tried for the sake of them both, for the sake of this planet and the rest of the guardians to match Peter’s movements. And Peter noticed, it was the first time he noticed how much effort and grace Thor put in when he fought. It looked oddly majestic. And after the two managed to defeat the beast, they both hesitantly apologized to each other and despite not saying anything during the trip back to the ship, the silence wasn’t awkward like before.

Ever since then, their demeanors changed around each other, there was…a mutual understanding. What started with a harmless ‘Starlord, may we arrange a trip to Nidavellir’ ( everyone seemed to lose their minds after Peter had said that it wouldn’t be a problem ) courtesy of Thor escalated into the two spending more time together, making fun of Rocket, talking about earth, their incredibly horrifying family issues and their…failed past romances. They were a bit hesitant at first, revealing things that were so personal was hard, but it felt nice to finally properly talk to someone.

“Don’t worry, man, I’ll try not to kill you multiple times like your siblings.” Peter had said after hearing the full story of Thor’s sister.

“As will I, Starlord.”

Peter was still the same crazy egomaniac that would only ever think of himself as the best, but he still tried to be a better man. That’s how he’d beat Thor, he would think to himself, he’d be the better man. But something happened, it felt like the gates of…heaven had opened up at that moment. Their ship got ambushed suddenly and Thor was the first to jump in to protect the others while they prepared. It was something about him shielding Rocket who had failed to grab his gun in time, something about the way he threw Stormbreaker at the person who wanted to attack a defenseless Mantis. It didn’t feel like it at first, but Thor was definitely a dancer, just like Peter.

Ever since then he knew he felt something for Thor, but…he was too scared to ever think that it was love. That is, until Thor had quite literally cornered Peter. He felt his face go warm and he physically couldn’t look at the god. But then, Thor spoke. That deep voice that Peter soon found sounded like music to his ears managed to utter something Peter would have never expected. He was too flustered already to hear everything clearly, but he managed to hear a barely audible ‘I’ve fallen for you, Starlord’.

Peter was so shaken, he couldn’t find the right words. He wasn’t the type to look for words in his pockets but now he could barely even look at Thor without feeling like drowning in an ocean that had the exact same hue as Thor’s eyes.

“Bro,” that was absolutely pathetic. Peter was absolutely pathetic. “That’s, uh, cool.”

Peter internally facepalmed at what he had said. But, ah, it wasn’t his fault! Thor was looming over him, he felt almost intimidated, again, challenged. He didn’t want to give in, if anything, he was the one who was supposed to confess first, he was the better one. Then why…why did he feel so lucky now?”

“I-I mean, shit, obviously, I’m so great even a g-god would…” He failed to properly finish his sentence, noticing how serious and sincere Thor looked. He would feel horrible later if he didn’t reciprocate. His pupils darted to the ground and his muscles tensed. “Yeah, I feel…the same thing.”

Peter hesitantly looked back at Thor, a raging blush on his face appearing right after he saw Thor’s grin and just how much it shined. He heard the other’s soft chuckle. He seemed happy…is that why Peter’s face soon got decorated by a smile as well?

Ever since then, they’ve kept their relationship hidden from the other guardians, it was just way too scandalous. The two lovers avoided Mantis like the plague, she was the most capable of finding out. The others didn’t really notice, which they were thankful about. And whenever the two were together in private they made sure to shower each other with love.

And now? Now Thor was pacing back and forth on the land that they had, well, landed on. It was for a mission, but it was quite…tight and dangerous, only Peter and Rocket went. Rocket, in general, was quite reliable and everyone knew that, whereas Peter just decided to go because…well, he said that as the captain he was best suited for the mission, yet Thor could recognize from the way Peter looked at him before leaving with Rocket that he just didn’t want Thor to be anywhere near the danger.

It was night time, Thor had stayed outside worried all day. Everyone else was back in the ship sleeping. He was baffled, why weren’t they worried as much as he was? Maybe it was because they knew Peter for longer, maybe he really was strong, but half of the time it was Thor saving his ass. He shouldn’t have gone just with Rocket.

Thor stopped pacing, running a hand through his hair. They’ve been together for, what, a couple of months now? He never learned how to rely on anyone too much, he thought that with Peter that should change, but Peter’s egotistical nature would often put the whole team into messes they all could barely get out of. Jesus Christ, Rocket and Peter were a horrible duo to begin with, this was a bad plan from the start, this was-

“Ay, Thor, you look hella tired. Groot wasn’t givin’ ya any trouble I hope.” This…this was Rocket’s voice! Thor looked up and surely, there the pair was. A little rugged and scarred ( Thor was planning on giving Peter a lecture already ), but both of them were luckily still in one piece.

Thor saw Peter giving him a little wave from the side, the gun he had taken dragging along the ground. The god’s shoulders dropped in relief almost instantly and he managed to forget that Rocket was still even there, that’s why, now, he was running straight for, quite admittedly, a baffled looking Peter. And as soon as Thor was close enough, he utilized his taller stature and strength, and picked the other off the ground, spinning him around like a boyfriend would with a tinier schoolgirl.

“T-Thor, what the h-hell, dude, p-put me down!” Peter managed to choke out through the whole flustering ordeal. “A-As your captain, I demand you to p-put-”

But it was too late for the so-called captain to do anything, seeing as how his lover was now showering him with kisses. Peter’s neck, jawline, cheeks and even lips were now covered in the most tender of kisses. For the love of god, he was so embarrassed, he had no idea how Thor could even do this. Peter could swear that his manliness was now gone, as much as he tried to keep it up. Thor was superior in height and, to the dismay of Peter, he could do these sorts of things with ease. Sure, he might have missed these butterflies in his stomach while he was venturing around with Rocket, but they were going so wild he was scared he’d throw up on the other.

Finally though, Thor put the smaller man down and exhaled, hugging him close and placing his chin on top of his head. “I was worried.”

“Y-You almost killed me from embarrassment just now, dumbass! I hate you…” Peter muttered, yet he still couldn’t help but hide his face in Thor’s chest. “Obviously you missed me, I’m t-the…best in the end…”

And then they just stood there, hugging, seemingly forgetting the trash panda that was still there, mouth gaping. That literally had to be the sappiest thing he’s ever seen, it made him cringe physically. But as disgustingly lovey-dovey this scene was, a mischievous grin soon spread over Rocket’s face and he used the peace that engulfed the two to run back to the ship unnoticed.

He was so telling the others about this.

[dreamsheartstory]

In canon, do you think Raven and Lexa would bond over the death of Finn and Costia? Over losing the person they loved most in the world? How would they reconcile Raven being tortured and sentenced to death before Clarke came in and saved the day?

My day has come to talk about Lexaven in canon. (this got long)

I’m going to take canon divergence post Clexa becoming official and ignore pretty much everything after that. Let’s say the assasination attempt happens. Lexa doesn’t die. Some of the 100 and some of the arkers move to polis. Lincoln gets pardonned. (I’m not going to retcon everything because if we’re real I’d roll back and unkill Anya at the very least. but I also want to leave some solid canon intact because you’re asking about canon).

I think the development of lexaven would need to parallel either A) Clexa growing and becoming solid thus ending in a polyam trio or B) Clexa hook up, realize they can’t actually be together/don’t want to be, but are reasonable gays and don’t end the fucking world over a breakup ie: become friends, rule their people, fight off the invading Azgeda together, leaving space for Clarke to play matchmaker to Raven and Lexa while Clarke finds love elsewhere (and I’ll only accept Bellamy if he didn’t massacre all those people). Ahem anyway, Lexaven.

At first Raven is furious with Lexa, but respects her intellect. This annoys Raven to no end. She doesn’t quite trust Lexa, but she trusts Clarke so she works with Lexa. She helps bring back power and heating and lighting to parts of Polis, working with Blacksmiths and the priests of the fleimkepa etc. 

She has a purpose that isn’t just making things go boom and killing people. She can save people by actually helping them. I think this helps Raven heal internally. She can let go of some of that anger of Finn’s death and move on.

Lexa though, knows this isn’t enough. Clarke is important to her (either as a lover or best friend, doesn’t matter) and Raven is important to Clarke. She makes sure to follow Raven’s lead in their friendship and rarely pushes. She provides Raven with what she asks for (even though you know a few times Raven pushes it with her requests.. Clarke would reign her back in). 

Unprompted Lexa would seek out the best blacksmith and the best leather worker and commission them to work with Raven, if she wants, to build a lighter weight, but stronger, brace. Raven draws up a design and Lexa checks in regularly to see how things are going. She also assigns a healer to make salves/figure out exercises/do manual work for Raven, tinkering to figure out the right combination of grounder and arker medicine to mitigate the pain.

Also, when the brace is finished, Lexa happens to be in residence in Polis and she goes with Raven to the shop for the fitting, and helps her put it on for the first time. At this point I would believe them amicable. They haven’t reconciled the past yet (of which Lexa is always painfully aware because she never lets herself forget. Raven tries not to remember the first few months on earth and tries to think about it less), but there’s a growing mutual respect between them as they’ve often discussed renewable ways to help Polis flourish and even implemented a few plans.

After a time, maybe a year, year and a half. In which time Polis has fought against several attempted coups - Azgeda, and then some of their own people who don’t like the Arkers. Lexa has fought to regain peace. She’s worked with Luna, bringing back what they talked about at the conclave when Luna left (my headcanon being that Lexa always intended for her rule to continue peacefully and the Floukru to reunite and that she and Luna were friends but Luna grew bitter after killing her brother and lost faith in the plan. Lexa let her go and forbade anyone going after Luna to kill her. Ahem, ANYWAY.) There may also have been some of the Becca storyline making a parallel through this, past technology coming back to haunt the present. But I’m not quite sure in what way, but it doesn’t involve much of what happened in canon in the way it happened.

Raven finds herself thinking about Finn and what would have happened if he hadn’t of cheated, if things had gone down differently. Lexa has been nothing but kind and courteous to Raven and the others, and in turn she finds herself thinking about being tortured. She doesn’t except when it comes to her in dreams, keeping her awake at night. After those nightmares she always avoids Lexa for a few days as she cant reconcile the woman that’s become her friend with the one who ordered her death. 

She’s also watched Lexa turn more level headed. She’s less quick to order a sentence unless the crime is quite clear. Raven also realizes at the time The 100 and the Trikru were at war. Having been at war she understands. She hates it, but she understands. It still doesn’t change what happened. It complicates it.

At first she had withheld her rage for Clarke’s sake but she knows that isn’t the case any longer. Raven gets worked up over the memory and the trauma of it, and Lexa finds her like this. Raven yells at her about how she can’t just be kind and get a free pass at the horrible things she’s done. (Raven doesn’t know how much she’s yelling at Lexa and how much she’s yelling at herself because she never quite forgave herself for killing Tris with the bomb or the others that died because of things she made).

At first, Lexa just takes it. She’s been expecting this since the start. She expected it to be sooner. Then Raven, having really gotten going, yells something about how Lexa has no idea what it’s like to lose someone like that. And Clarke never talked about Costia, it wasn’t her place and Lexa... doesn’t because even though she’s happy and in love with Clarke (or best friends and content with the situation because keeping the peace is a full time job with no down time)... Lexa doesn’t bring up Costia. Even though it’s been years she still has to find a moment to cry each time Costia comes to mind. Never in public though. She is Heda after all.

But it’s just her and Raven and Lexa yells back.

They both snap and exchange a few insults but also scream about how their hearts got broken by their enemies and they lost their first love. They’re both too stubborn to back down and too stubborn to leave and just want to be heard. 

They end up sitting side by side on a broken wall looking out at the water. They’re exhausted, emotionally and because of that, physically. Lexa waits for Raven to say something, and when she does she surprises them both by asking if they’re still friends. 

“I mean, you tried to kill me, but you also...” Raven has a really hard time articulating the next part because it’s not like Raven to admit weakness, but she’s had character development and she realizes it isn’t weakness to admit this, “.. you also gave me what I needed to heal myself.”

And she doesn’t mean that her leg and back are magically better or the medicine or the brace. She means Lexa gave Raven a purpose that wasn’t killing and gave Raven support without asking for anything in return.

Lexa says something that makes Raven laugh, reminds her of all that Raven has given to Polis and to Lexa herself. They see each other as equals. And Lexa finds the words to the apology she’s been ~2 years in the making. She apologizes for judging the intent of Skaikru too quickly, not trusting them as allies to get her people back, and for killing Finn... for torturing Raven.

Raven makes a joke about scars being attractive. Things aren’t perfect but... there’s only so much anger and hate a person can hold onto and neither of them are the people that they were. 

From there I’d imagine either scenario A or B from above playing out. Slowly and carefully, just like every other aspect of Lexa and Raven’s friendship has been.

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

After the Warmind DLC, the major question on every Destiny lore nerd’s mind is, “What’s Rasputin's next move?” The lore tab for the D2 Sleeper Simulant represents our most current communiqué from Rasputin. So let’s take it apart and see if we can suss out his current state of mind.

AI-COM/RSPN: ASSETS//ARESN//IMPERATIVE Rasputin’s usual address line at the beginning of his messages. It’s sent by him (I’m amused he still refers to himself as AI-COM/RSPN, as if AI-COM still exists. It’s like introducing himself as a citizen of the Soviet Union), it’s an IMPERATIVE (meaning a command), and it’s sent to ASSETS//ARESN. 

ARESN is a new designation; the message itself suggests this is an abbreviation for “Ares-North.” In context that must mean the Clovis Bray research base and Aurora Reach, Rasputin’s primary facility in the Martian ice cap where the Warmind DLC takes place. Previously this area has been codenamed POLARIS in Rasputin’s transmissions. Now that the ice is clearing, his operations are expanding, and Guardians are maintaining a regular presence there, Rasputin seems to have upgraded its designation.

IMMEDIATE EVALUATION DIRECTIVE This is not a direct order to do something right now (those are marked “IMMEDIATE ACTION ORDER”) but an order to evaluate the situation. Rasputin is gathering his many distributed parts to examine some target and make a decision based on what he finds.

This is a SUBTLE ASSETS IMPERATIVE (secured/CONFERENCE) “SUBTLE ASSETS” seems to refer to assets that Rasputin either keeps secret or controls indirectly. This message itself is “secured,” so it’s only sent to a certain group and meant to be kept secret, and it’s sent to “CONFERENCE.” Given context, that marking likely means just Rasputin himself. This command is meant for subtle assets, so whatever he’s doing is maybe meant to fly under the radar.

This is an INTERNAL ALERT. This is a message from Rasputin to Rasputin himself. Again, because he exists in a very large distributed network, Rasputin’s various parts must coordinate to make major decisions.  He’s getting himself all together.

Hypothesize that incomplete analysis of subtle assets has compromised synergy potential of resource GUARDIAN pool. Heeeeeee. This line is Rasputin admitting he underestimated the Guardians. “Incomplete analysis” has “compromised synergy potential.” In English that means he misjudged the Guardians and because of that he hasn’t been cooperating with them to achieve shared goals as much as he could have. 

Rasputin often refers to Guardians as “subtle assets,” perhaps meaning that in his mind the Guardians are under his authority and he controls them indirectly; alternately, he could mean that incomplete analysis of some other subtle asset he could have been using with Guardians has made them less effective. He also refers to the Guardians as a resource. He’s still fighting a war, and everyone available is a resource to be used to fight that war.

Re-engage non-transactional dispensation protocol. "Give the Guardians fun toys for free.” Rasputin is considering sending the Guardians a bunch of free weapons/armor/etc. so they can better achieve their mutual goals, because he’s finally convinced they’re useful.

Operation MIDNIGHT EXIGENT is NOT YET COMPLETE. Requested protocol deferred. Aaaaaand then Rasputin hits the same roadblock that’s been constraining him since the Collapse: MIDNIGHT EXIGENT. MIDNIGHT EXIGENT is the massive protocol Rasputin enacted at the end of the war to prioritize his survival over protecting humanity (interestingly he says MIDNIGHT EXIGENT is “not yet complete” - implying that MIDNIGHT EXIGENT has an end goal, and maybe an end date). If MIDNIGHT EXIGENT is still in place, Rasputin doesn’t think the existential threat is over. He still doesn’t consider himself safe. 

Because of MIDNIGHT EXIGENT, Rasputin can’t reactive the “non-transactional dispensation protocol.” Rasputin doesn’t think he can afford to give the Guardians free shit. Why? He may be strapped for resources, or he may need the promise of such weaponry as a bargaining chip to get what he needs in return. The rest of the message makes me lean towards the latter.

Stand by for GALATEA REFLEXIVE to generate new function. More of Rasputin’s love of mythology. In Greek mythology, Galatea is a statue created by the sculptor Pygmalion and brought to life by Aphrodite. In this scenario, Rasputin is Galatea - the being crafted and brought to life by someone else. “Reflexive” means “instinctive” or “referring back to itself.” GALATEA REFLEXIVE is therefore likely a protocol for Rasputin to examine himself, consider self-improvement/self-modification, and consider what to do (”generate new function.”) He may be looking to re-examine his intentions and decide whether to act purely altruistically.

GALATEA requires suspension of MIDNIGHT EXIGENT. ...Except, uh oh, GALATEA also isn’t allowed under MIDNIGHT EXIGENT. That’s not a great sign. Rasputin has deferred introspection and self-examination till after MIDNIGHT EXIGENT is complete. Even under MIDNIGHT EXIGENT Rasputin already shows signs of guilt over his actions. If he executed a full GALATEA protocol he’d probably be nonfunctional with grief and guilt for some time.

Side note: if any of this were happening in a human we’d be severely concerned. Rasputin is preventing himself from thinking about his actions and his own state of mind because he can’t afford to right now, because it would cripple him while he’s still in danger. But that danger isn’t going away anytime soon. Rasputin does have emotions, much as he may conceal them. At some point that denial and compartmentalization will break down and he’s going to have to deal with what psychologists call “some seriously heavy shit.” I hope the City has a therapist for AIs, is all I’m saying. 

ALERT ALERT ALERT event rank is SKYSHOCK: INSIDE CONTEXT.  Being blocked on executing GALATEA protocol causes Rasputin to check if MIDNIGHT EXIGENT can be suspended. The first answer he gets is a SKYSHOCK alert. 

SKYSHOCK seems to designate a major space-based threat to humanity. In his first message reporting the detection of the oncoming Darkness, Rasputin classifies it as SKYSHOCK: OCP. OCP means “outside context problem,” a phrase coined by scifi writer Iain M. Banks (whom Bungie loves, and for good reason). An outside context problem is something a civilization could not possibly have anticipated and has no frame of reference for. They usually end badly; Banks said a civilization “tended to encounter [an OCP] rather in the same way a sentence encountered a full stop."

But this time the SKYSHOCK event is INSIDE CONTEXT. It’s a normal threat Rasputin understands - probably the many hostile factions still present in the solar system (Vex, Cabal, Hive, etc.) Rasputin evaluates these threats and concludes both he and humanity still face lethal danger even though the Darkness itself is gone.

MIDNIGHT EXIGENT must remain active under deniable authorization. Given said lethal danger, MIDNIGHT EXIGENT must remain in place even though the enemy that prompted it (the Darkness) is gone. Rasputin doesn’t consider himself - or humanity - safe enough to risk lifting emergency survival-only protocols. 

“Under deniable authorization” is odd. Rasputin doesn’t need “authorization” to do anything, and why does it need to be “deniable”? The best I can come up with is that he’s authorizing himself to continue MIDNIGHT EXIGENT, and the “deniable” part means he’s concealing that fact and if you ask him about it he’ll pretend he has no idea. He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s still prioritizing his own survival.

Execute emergency SKYSHOCK diagnostic. Having determined that a SKYSHOCK threat is present, Rasputin decides to further evaluate it, and to do so quickly. Rasputin wants to assess the hostile factions in more detail and refine his estimate of their threat level. He doesn’t have time to do it himself, so he’ll have to use the Guardians to do it.

STAND BY: Usually this line in a Rasputin message means “I am making a decision” and is followed by the results of that decision. In this case it’s used in an interesting way: what follows is not explicitly a decision on MIDNIGHT EXIGENT and the SKYSHOCK evaluation, but an apparently separate message sent in the clear. The header and footer transmissions are not repeated, so it’s still sent to the same recipients (Ares-North), but the two parts are marked at different security levels - unsecured vs. secured. The first half of this message is meant to be seen only by Rasputin himself, but the second half is public to all “assets” in Ares-North. Why would Rasputin’s decision on SKYSHOCK take the form of a broadcast message? We’ll see later.

This is an INTERNAL ASSETS INVESTIGATION (unsecured/BRAY) The first half of the message was sent secure and only to Rasputin himself. The second is being sent unsecure and to group “BRAY.” Who’s that? Probably not Ana, since Rasputin designates her “AUTHORIZED USER.” More likely it’s everyone around the Bray facility, and hence it’s unsecured so everyone can hear it.

We haven’t seen Rasputin send an INVESTIGATION order before. Perhaps this means he’s, again, taking stock? Is he investigating himself or something else? While it’s sent to INTERNAL ASSETS, it’s not marked as an INTERNAL ALERT, meaning it’s being broadcast to other people. Rasputin may therefore be directing his assets to undertake an investigation of some target.

Justification resource GUARDIANS may be utilized for non-networked ad-hoc operations during CTESIPHON CLARION.  The grammar is weird here. I’m not sure if he means to say “Justification: resource Guardians...” or if he’s calling them a “justification resource.” But anyway, he says the Guardians can now be used for “non-networked ad-hoc operations,” aka public events. He also implies an operation called CTESIPHON CLARION is now going on. We’ve never seen that codename before. Parsing it out, Ctesiphon is a city of the ancient world that at one point was considered to be, well, the pinnacle of cities. “Clarion” means “clear” and/or “loud” and usually refers to sound. 

So CTESIPHON CLARION may be Rasputin’s designation for this current period of open communication and cooperation with the Last City, or it may mean that he intends to investigate the City/Guardians and understand more about them. Either way he’s telling Guardians that as long as he’s on good terms with the City, they’re allowed to do public events in Hellas Basin. Wow. What an honor, Rasputin.

Reassign 4 percent of reclaimed CHLM assets to new directive: declare IKELOS- Confirmation that the Warmind Charlemagne was a submind of Rasputin, one that he’s now “reclaimed.” It may be that Charlemagne was cut off from Rasputin like the Cosmodrome fragments were, and that Rasputin only now woke back up and reconnected. Either way Charlemagne seems to have been reabsorbed and its assets are being redistributed by Rasputin. At the moment, four percent of said assets are going to the new directive IKELOS, which you may recognize from Destiny 1 as the protocol under which Rasputin developed and provided weaponry to the Guardians. Rasputin is now declaring IKELOS (restarting it) and states two goals:

Declare primary goal: military fortification. IKELOS’ first priority is to beef up the military strength of the Guardians and Rasputin’s own defenses.

Declare secondary goal: prolong ARES-NORTH occupation by AUTHORIZED USER and resource GUARDIANS. IKELOS’ second priority is to keep Ana Bray (”AUTHORIZED USER”) and the Guardians around the Aurora Reach facility for as long as possible. Rasputin wants the Guardians there. Why? Perhaps he’s finally decided that having Guardians around is better than not having them, and their presence makes it safe for Ana to continue her work. 

But remember: these two goals are being declared in the clear. He knows Guardians will read this part. This message wasn’t issued alone; it’s Rasputin’s “decision” on how to evaluate the SKYSHOCK threat. Rasputin’s true, unstated goal in restarting IKELOS is to use Guardians to evaluate the threat posed by the various hostile factions. To do that he gives the Guardians some weaponry of his own construction which he knows all the properties of, and he uses the promise of this powerful weaponry to get Guardians into all these minor skirmishes to protect the area.

Rasputin says in the secure half of the message that MIDNIGHT EXIGENT has to continue “under deniable authorization.” Thorough evaluation of all threats is quite important to ensuring his own survival, but he’s not publicly disclosing that motivation for doing it.

Execute short hold for partial shutdown and reactivation. Last of all Rasputin says he’s going quiet for a bit. Given all the damage he took from Xol, he’s probably got a lot of maintenance backlogged. Him being occupied with self-repair explains why Ana is mostly speaking for him at the moment.

SO. To sum it all up: where is Rasputin’s head at right now? CTESIPHON CLARION indicates he is, for the moment, communicating and cooperating with the City/Guardians in good faith. Privately he admits he underestimated the Guardians and wants to help them unconditionally - but MIDNIGHT EXIGENT is still active and SKYSHOCK rank is too high to end it. Rasputin still doesn’t consider himself safe enough to back down from “survival at all costs” mode.

Publicly he restarts IKELOS to buff the Guardian forces in the area, with the secondary goal of having them stick around. He implies that granting IKELOS weaponry is contingent on a Guardian presence in Ares-North. Concern for his own survival under MIDNIGHT EXIGENT means that instead of giving resources away, he trades them for protection. That tallies with the public events you have to complete to get said weaponry - Rasputin rewards you for defending him. 

However, secretly (”deniable”) Rasputin has another motive for restarting IKELOS and keeping Guardians in the area: he’s running a “diagnostic” on the nature and severity of the current SKYSHOCK threat. In other words, he’s gathering data on the Hive/Cabal in combat by throwing Guardians into fights and watching what happens. He has no intention of publicly disclosing this goal, since it’s related to MIDNIGHT EXIGENT and he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s still prioritizing his own survival.

It’s...not a great sign that Rasputin is already acting with hidden motives. But he isn’t acting purely selfishly either. The two stated goals of IKELOS likely are real goals, just of lower priority than threat evaluation. And this decision was made as part of re-assessing the nature of the current SKYSHOCK event. If the current SKYSHOCK severity rank is low enough, Rasputin can lift MIDNIGHT EXIGENT and start returning to an altruistic pre-Collapse configuration.

And Rasputin does seem to want MIDNIGHT EXIGENT to end. He repeatedly checks whether it’s still required before making the IKELOS decision, and keeps trying to do things that get blocked by it. On an emotional level, previous lore cards suggest he really doesn’t like the person he’s become under MIDNIGHT EXIGENT. He would like to stop being that person, and stop being in lethal danger, as soon as possible.

tl;dr What does this mean for his future actions? Rasputin has no intention of taking orders from the City, but he’s opened communication in good faith and intends to intervene in solar system affairs more frequently and directly. However, his own survival is still top priority, he’s still keeping his true goals and motivations secret, and his aid to Guardians comes with a price: he’s using the dispensation of IKELOS weaponry to maneuver Guardians into skirmishes with Hive and Cabal forces in order to gather combat data on those forces. Rasputin would really like to be an unconditional ally, but he still thinks he can’t risk it. In the end he’s the same he always was: a powerful ally, but one who’s playing his own game/fighting his own war, who can only be relied upon so far as the City’s goals align with his.

[ktrsvo]

racing to sixty

In which Simon tells Bram that he is Jacques during the party.

@mia-the-dork   *shows up 2 days late wearing sunglasses and a garbage bag* hey thanks for the prompt!! 

Simon knows exactly how this story might go - how it might end - but still it does not stop him from staggering tipsily up the stairs, trying to fend off the fogginess that has settled in his mind. There’s that logical part of him that’s yanking tightly on the reins, warning him that he’s only setting himself up for disappointment, but there’s also another voice in his head, the loud, optimistic sunshine-and-rainbows one that says fuck, to hell with all caution. Like seriously, screw it.

Go for it, buddy.

Give this one your best shot.

Eyes forward, chin held up high.

When, at last, he reaches the second floor, he braces himself up against the wall for a moment. His knees threaten to buckle underneath his weight, and his stomach feels like it’s been wrung bone-dry and put in a trivection oven to bake. His insides, they’re this scrambled - though, arguably not as much as his brain is.

His outfit’s starting to feel real suffocating. Especially at the shoulders and around the neck. Simon sucks in a shuddering inhale, pops off the first three buttons on his shirt. His wig got lost somewhere along the way, so that explains the pleasant absence of weight on his head.

“You can do this,” Simon half-whispers to himself, as he disappears into the bathroom to mull over this situation a little bit more.

The pale white lighting overhead casts a strange aura to his face, Simon observes, staring at himself in the mirror. Not anything bad, not anything negative, no. It’s a glow of confidence, one he so often sees inhabit Nick’s face before an important game, filled with the belief that everything will turn out A-okay.

“Hey, Bram, it’s me, Jacques,” Simon says to his reflection in the mirror, fingers curled decisively on the countertop.

The sentence comes out flat, stale. Lame. So that one’s going out the window, definitely. Simon thinks for a moment, willing his addled brain to come up with something a bit flashier on the fly, but all that his wishing has got to show for is a dumb variation.

Hey, Barack, it’s me, Jacques .

A small snicker escapes Simon. Ha, ha, very funny - though, least this one’s got rhyme to it. A smoothness, a style - but Simon figures that instead of clapping himself on the back he’ll end up smacking himself if he seriously messes up the execution. Because Simon logic, you know.

Ah, the ever-frustrating, migraine-inducing physiology of the Simon Spier brain. Definitely not interesting enough to anatomize Freudian-style, but, whatever, Simon has better things to do than get pissy over being too unworthy for a hypothetical consideration by a guy who’s been dead since forever.

And so Simon makes his way out of the bathroom. Shuffles towards the nearest bedroom in the vicinity, because yeah, it’s totally where Bram’ll be chilling at, his job as gracious party host be damned.

Before Simon can get his hand on the doorknob, a wave of self-doubt comes crashing around his ears. He groans. Really? He’s just one second away from pulling the trigger, and the image that chooses to manifest in his mind is of Bram hooking up with a random girl?

“Stop,” Simon murmurs more to himself than anyone else.

A simple twist has the door clicking open, and then the worst case scenario disintegrates completely. Shatters like glass.

Simon’s breath sticks in his throat. There’s a sudden pounding in his ears that he’s sure has absolutely nothing to do with the shots he downed earlier. Also, Simon doesn’t remember his shirt being this stuffy. Or hot.

(Confidence restored? Kind of?)

Bram’s sitting down on the bed, looking deep in thought - a signature Bram expression that ought to be established as its own brand. Simon snickers. Then thinks: it always seems like there’s some sort of very important internal monologue going on inside Bram’s head. It could be about anything. Tax rebates, socialism, dumb puns, whether or not Keanu Reeves is truly immortal, the cool soccer moves he did yesterday, the lyrics of Between the Bars - assuming that he’s Blue, but even if he isn’t, it’s still possible, it’s not like Simon is the only one who knows and digs Elliott Smith.

So, yeah, a concoction of worldly issues, bad jokes, and depressing music - though, it’s probably leaning more towards the intellectual stuff. And, okay, definitely the sports stuff, too. Because Bram’s good at both. Great, actually.

(Simon is totally justified in his assumptions, because Bram’s always been one of those super smart, all-around guys. The handsome, sporty nerd types everyone has a crush on - grandmothers included. It’s amazing, really.)

“Simon?” Bram’s voice cuts through the haze of Simon’s thoughts.

Simon stops.

Functioning, that is. And it’s all because Bram’s got his soft, brown-eyed gaze locked onto Simon’s face, one that somehow evokes an image of an adorable puppy lounging on a stretch of sunlit grass. Simon’s cheeks warm. His pulse does a funny dance.

He stares, unable to look away.

It’s a curious thing, the cute, downward slope of Bram’s mouth when he’s thinking real hard, both dimples exposed, eyes glittering. Luminous.

God, has Bram always been this unfairly good-looking?

(Simon is reminded of how very gay he is. And repressed.)

I have feelings for you, Simon thinks with all his mind. And soul.

“Uh, sorry? I didn’t quite catch that,” Bram says, and Simon’s blood turns into fire. He actually said that out loud?The words leave a painful scorch in their wake, extinguishing what little rationality is left over in Simon’s mind. The motormouth in him has started to take off, racing at around sixty trillion miles per beat, and if Simon were in full possession of his mental faculties, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but since he’s not at his best - though, not exactly scraping rock-bottom, either - this can only bode ill for the next five seconds.

Simon moves forward. One foot in front of the other, slow, methodical, deliberate. He gets up and close, and then, exultant, he gets floored by the precise colour of Bram’s eyes. The crescent-shaped dimples on his cheeks. The pensive bend of his brow. The cupid’s bow of his mouth. The warm, rich hue of his skin - warm warm warm.

Bram Greenfeld is here, in the flesh, within Simon’s reach - physically speaking, of course; he’s still unsure about the mentally bit. Now, here’s the part where Simon should carefully consider what he should say next, but because Simon’s far from being an international gold-medalist at think-before-you-act, he ends up plunging himself into the deep end instead of simply testing out the waters -  you know , just dipping your toes in, gauging for the feel of the moment so that you don’t end up fucking embarrass yourself.

“Bram,” Simon says, then shakes his head, “no, I mean - Barack -” At this, Bram raises his eyebrows -”it’s me, Jacques.”

A beat of silence ensues, then two, three, four. Just as Simon is arriving at the conclusion that he’s made a serious miscalculation, recognition, pure and unfiltered, settles along Bram’s features. His jaw goes slack, and his forehead creases, like he cannot believe that Jacques is really, really here. Fully corporeal. No longer a collection of pixels and Arial font letters.

And then realization hits Simon, too - hard. His mind spins, tilts, whirls, as it tries to reconcile this reality to the fantasy Simon has been constructing out of little more than a few vague hints.

“You’re Jacques,” Bram says, slowly, as though testing the heft of the name on his tongue.

Simon swallows. “And you’re Blue. Right?” He must be. Obviously. Simon doesn’t think he can bear the alternative.

Bram purses his lips. “Donner sa langue au chat ,” he says, and it occurs to Simon that he’s referencing a conversation they had a few emails ago.  Give up guessing an answer. The funny thing is, the phrase could also apply to their current situation.

“Oui?” Simon says.

Bram nods. “Yeah.”

Five minutes later, they’re sitting side-by-side on the bed, knees touching, not speaking. Like they’ve both gone into shock, now on the verge - the cusp - of experiencing cardiac arrest, which, all things considered, is fair enough. Their hands are close enough to touch, and the proximity is electrifying - probably even more so than if they were actually touching.

“I still can’t believe that it’s actually you,” Simon breathes out, breaking the near-silence between them.

“So … you’re disappointed?” Bram’s voice is small. Quiet. Not at all the reaction Simon intended to draw out of him.

“No, no, no, you have it the wrong way,” Simon says impatiently, shaking his head. And it’s true. If anything, it’s Simon who should be asking that question. “Are you kidding me, Bram?” His tone rises up a notch, the way it does whenever he works himself up into an impassioned frenzy - which is next to never, because he’s too awkward for raw, heartfelt spiels, theatre club antics not included. “It’s just that you’re you, Mr. Everyone’s-Got-Their-Eyes-On-Me Greenfeld. I mean, ever take a good look at yourself in the mirror? Like, God, imagine exchanging anonymous messages with someone and finding out that Mystery Person is this smart, popular, sporty, good-looking guy who has always been totally out of your league, who you thought was totally straight and therefore would never have a chance with.” The words continue to pour, relentlessly. “See, this is pretty much the stuff of dreams, Bram, holy shit, I mean, you’ve got me over here, someone who’s a disaster when it comes to starting conversations with cute boys - or just people in general - and then we’ve got you, who -”

Bram’s hand closes around Simon’s. Simon’s mouth closes. “Simon,” he begins in a light tone of voice, the kind that typically precedes a chuckle, “for what it’s worth, I was hoping that Jacques would be you.”

Simon blinks. Lets out an exhale. So … the feeling is mutual, then. Oh.

“Since when?” Simon bleats, because the revelation still feels too brittle. Too new. Like it’s merely an illusion Simon managed to will into existence through sheer wishing alone, an easy-to-break fantasy. Cruel by virtue of it simply existing in its false, hollow state.

At least if Simon never dreamt this up, a desire for more would have never been incited in him.

But when Bram tilts up Simon’s chin with his fingers, saying, “I’ve been crushing on you for a long time, now, Spier. Of course I’d want Jacques to be you,” the impact solidifies - turns real - and then the gap between them is closing, closing, closing, until Bram’s lips are on his.

The kiss starts off awkward. Clumsy.

It is more mouth than feeling, a sweaty fumble of boy instead of exhilaration. But it isn’t bad, no. As a matter of fact, it’s the best kiss he’s ever had in his entire life - not that he’s had enough good or real ones to have a proper benchmark. Simon doesn’t know where his hands should go, if he should be touching Bram here, or touching Bram there, so he just lets Bram guide their mouths together into a slow, experimental rhythm.

And it works out just fine. Bram’s lips are soft against his, so pliant, so warm, and Simon nearly dies on the spot when Bram does the thing, nipping at his bottom lip lightly with his teeth. They break away for a second, to gather their bearings, before pressing up against each other again - this time with a little bit of familiarity and a lot more fervour.

Simon figured out along the way that it would be best to rest his hands right here, on Bram’s shoulders, so that’s what he does now. Every press of Bram’s mouth sears his skin, raises his body temperature a notch higher each time, until Simon’s sure he’s practically indistinguishable from flame. Made from it, even. Embers and all.

The sound that emerges from Simon’s throat is a needy, almost carnal groan that Simon’s sure will plague him later on in his dreams, but for now there is only this: Bram kissing him senseless, breathless, motionless.

They hastily pull apart when there’s a loud knock, the door swinging open to reveal some chick in a minion costume. But the moment she disappears, Bram draws Simon in for another kiss, and the rest is history.

[quantumamc]

Financial Intelligence is the Need of the Hour!

Equities are a higher risk instruments than fixed income instruments like Bonds, but both carry risks. Since mutual funds are vehicles with these underlying assets, they too carry that risk.

While taking a stroll in his neighborhood park one quiet evening, Rohit and I happened to bump into a very old college friend Virat. Rohit, a financial planner working for a reputed mutual fund house, and Virat, a manager at a factory of a reputed FMCG company, used to debate on various regional, national and global issues that got the pair well-known during college debate competitions. After reminiscing the good old days of 'who delivered the best speech', the two old buddies sat down to enjoy the sun-set when Rohit caught the attention of a mutual fund ad placed strategically outside of the park railings. "Mutual funds are a good way to invest your money in!" says Rohit. "No! Never!" said an alarmed Virat. "I would never dream of putting my money into such an investment channel. Do you know that it's all a gamble? A sham? My wife once tried investing in such a scheme but lost all what she invested in after constantly reminding her of the consequences." Virat continued to disagreed and insisted that they were unreliable which surprised Rohit and I a lot. He left in a hurry shortly after.

 How can this dear friend think like this? Clearly he seemed to be quite against the idea of investing in mutual funds. Why so? Is there any reason for this kind of dislike towards mutual funds? Rohit and I wondered, and came up with 5 possible reasons for Virat's reaction.

 1.            Inadequate awareness: There are various reasons contributing to his dislike towards mutual funds and why a vast majority of people believe them to be unsafe and unsecure. A huge mistake that anyone would make is to not ask or question the reason behind investing in mutual funds closely followed by believing strongly in what others think about mutual funds. According to popular perception, and added to it by the standard disclaimer ☺ people are led to believe that mutual funds are risky.

The fact is that all investment products carry their own inherent risks, some more than others. Equities are a higher risk instruments than fixed income instruments like Bonds, but both carry risks. Since mutual funds are vehicles with these underlying assets, they too carry that risk. What this means is that while mutual funds are risky, all financial products carry their own level of risk, hence mutual funds are not riskier than others, it is the underlying asset class that carries most of the risk. If people take away that mental block that mutual funds are risky avenues of investing your hard earned money, then they will continue to be hesitant about ever venturing into such instruments. Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI), the trade association of mutual funds in India, launched a media and communication campaign - "Mutual Funds Sahi Hai", as a part of the investor awareness outreach program. The campaign aims to position mutual funds as a preferred investment option for potential investors.

2.            Too much of a headache!: Take for instance the scenario where Virat disagrees with Rohit regarding investing in mutual funds. To educate Virat about investing in mutual funds will be a big daunting task for him. He would find it too complicated and difficult to understand how to go about it and would rather give it a miss. For Virat, investing in other avenues like bank fixed deposits or insurance policies seem to be much simpler and easy to understand. In fact, opening a mutual fund account has become just as simple as any other financial institution by submitting information through an online KYC (Know Your Customer) facility. As a fund house, we pride ourselves on a completely paperless investing process and e-KYC.

3.            No assurance on returns: Many a times, investors want guaranteed returns when investing in mutual funds. But that is not the case. There is no guarantee in this world but when investors start to invest, they want assured returns without giving importance to achieving their goals.

4.            No faith in the markets: Investors tend to have very little or no faith in the stock market. As an investor, one needs to understand that mutual funds are not only about stocks but also debt funds like bonds, treasury bills etc. which can be safer avenues than equities.

5.            Once bitten, twice shy: Investors who have invested heavily in mutual funds tend to back out due to losses attained by market fluctuations, or other investors known to them have faced similar situations. Reasons could be that they might have picked in a mutual fund that didn't perform well or may have chosen a fund that didn't match their risk appetite. This all boils down to the first point i.e. lack of awareness. It is always advisable to consult a financial expert when it comes to making any financial decisions.

To conclude, Virat needs to understand mutual funds a little bit more before arriving at the fact that they are bad avenues. If he invests in a few funds, he would gain some confidence, and then eventually he would be able to choose those funds that match his risk appetite as per the goals he sets along with periodic reviews as and when required. Rohit and I are planning to call him soon and convert him! Let us know when we can call you and make you a mutual fund evangelist by writing to us on CustomerCare@QuantumAMC.com

 Disclaimer, Statutory Details & Risk Factors:

The views expressed here in this article are for general information and reading purpose only and do not constitute any guidelines and recommendations on any course of action to be followed by the reader. Quantum AMC / Quantum Mutual Fund is not guaranteeing / offering / communicating any indicative yield on investments made in the scheme(s). The views are not meant to serve as a professional guide / investment advice / intended to be an offer or solicitation for the purchase or sale of any financial product or instrument or mutual fund units for the reader. The article has been prepared on the basis of publicly available information, internally developed data and other sources believed to be reliable. Whilst no action has been solicited based upon the information provided herein, due care has been taken to ensure that the facts are accurate and views given are fair and reasonable as on date. Readers of this article should rely on information/data arising out of their own investigations and advised to seek independent professional advice and arrive at an informed decision before making any investments.

Mutual fund investments are subject to market risks read all scheme related documents carefully.