#i think my first hawke.... already had the worst time ? like i don't even know how to make it worse

[dirt-juice]

.

[neoarchipelago]

And they were Roommates (part 9)

A/N: and i'm back. I'm trying to finish this big moment of the story before going back to molre fluff, smuttyness and calmer stuff. I'll alternate between that. Thanks to everyone who gave me feedbacks, it really helps. Also i'm just shocked how this taglist grows everyday. I see all your comments, i'm sorry if i don't answer all of them, i love ya'll!

WARNINGS: 18+ CONTENT, violence and smexy scenes, bewaree!

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You blinked your eyes open. Your head was pounding. The bright lights weren't helping at all. Voices..you could hear voices. You turned your head to take in your surroundings. You were in a hospital room. You could recognize the medical care area. You tried to remember what happened. You were… attacked at the base? Fuck. Your eyes shifted to the voices the whole squad was there. Laswell was here too. Your eyes filled with tears. They came for you. 

You looked at the couch next to the bed. 

"Reaper…" you tried in a rasp. 

Everyone turned to you in a flash. 

That simple word had felt like you were ripping apart your own throat. 

"Fucking hell Y/N!" Simon growled. 

Everyone rushed to your side. 

"Are you alright?" Kate asked, worry clearly tainting her voice. 

You nodded slightly.  

"Let me call the doc." Price said. 

You wanted to roll your eyes. Your eyes shifted to Simon. You smiled at him. 

You came… you mouthed.

"You called." 

The doc walked in, stepping towards you. He checked you up, giving you some medicine for your head and throat as you had tried your best to describe where it hurt and some water. You were fine. The squad had intervened very fast. You had to rest though. You wouldn't be able to speak for a little while. The angry bruises on your neck looked quite bad, but fuck it, you were alive. You had to stay in the hospital for a few days to make sure everything was fine. 

Talking was a no for a little while, probably a few days, so you got creative.

Did you guys catch the guy? You wrote on your phone before showing the screen to the team. 

"Yes." Soap answered seriously. 

"Ghost shot him on sight." Gaz said in the same tone.

You turned to look at him as he stood, arms crossed looking at you. You smiled at him. It could have been a good source of information. But you understood his move. You even found peace in his violence. He didn't hesitate a second to kill for you. 

What are we going to do? You wrote again. 

"Right now you do nothing." Laswell answered. You had never heard such a tone in her voice. 

"You rest. You do nothing. This time squad 141 had been tasked to keep you safe and I won't take no for an answer. It's an order and it's already been acted." 

You looked at Ghost. He was unreadable. But you could still feel how uneasy he was feeling.

You sighed and nodded. You weren't going to complain. 

Soap and gaz left a bit later, going to rest before taking their shift in your room to watch over you. Ghost was staying obviously, he hadn't even sat down yet. 

Laswell and Price hovered over you like hawks. Laswell looked absolutely torned. 

Kate it wasn't your fault. You wrote 

"Y/N. You are under my responsibility. Putting aside the contract, you matter so much to me and I've failed to keep you safe."

You wrote furiously, hating the fact that your voice would burn your throat. 

This isn't the first time, you can't always protect me. 

"I know I can't always protect you. But fuck you are literally on a military base, and someone tried to kill you. Our part of the contract with you is to keep you safe and away from harm as you put yourself on the first line against the worst." She said, her eyes glistening softly. 

You took her hand in yours, smiling at her. You didn't want her to cry. You'd cry too. 

"We were right there. We were supposed to keep you safe too. Everyone's on edge." Price added. 

You looked at him. Something flashed through your mind. Simon. He probably was feeling furious, thinking you disobeyed him and this happened. This time you tried blinking the tears away. You took back your hand, typing something on your phone. Your eyes then searched Simon's ones, and he immediately walked to you. 

You turned the screen towards him, a heartbroken expression on your face, a tear escaping what should have been their prison. 

I'm sorry

He frowned. 

"No." 

You bit your lip. 

"Don't you dare apologize, you hear me?" He growled. 

"No, Y/N, this isn't your fault…" Kate added. 

You nodded frantically, of course it was. He was after you. You were causing such a mess. 

"No, no hey, you're ok, don't beat yourself up for someone else's actions. You are being hunted down." Price softly said. 

You were fully crying now. You felt so bad and so guilty. Ghost looked absolutely out of himself, you could feel his hands softly shaking on your leg. You caused this. 

"Hey, hey. Look at me. Bunny. I said, Look at me." 

You finally gave in. His hands rose to your face, cupping it softly. You noticed the obvious bruises and blood on his knuckles. 

"It. Is. Not. Your. Fault."

You blinked, letting tears fall again. 

"Do you understand? No one. And I say NO ONE. Is holding you accountable for this situation."

You closed your eyes leaning into his touch. He wrapped his arms around you, you buried your face in his chest, trying to ignore the ache coming from your throat. He softly brushed your hair, calming you down. 

You took a deep breath gaining composure. You separated, wiping your tears away. 

"Rest now. Alright?" 

You nodded. 

"Lieutenant Riley and I will take the first watch." Price said. 

Laswell nodded. Price walked her out of the room. You remained with Simon. You looked up at him as he glanced at you. A hand rose to hover over your jawline, eyes fixated on your bruised throat. You grabbed his hand, rubbing your cheek against it, trying to comfort him. 

"I fucked up. You got hurt while in my care." He said. 

You shook your head softly. 

"Yes. You were."  He took a deep breath. 

"Listen to me now. You are my mission from now on. Do you understand?" 

You frowned. 

"I'm going to keep you safe, even if I have to burn this base down." 

You shivered. 

"But I'm also going to be very professional. Do you understand?" 

You look puzzled. 

"No more bunny. No more Simon… I'm gonna be cold. Tactical. Don't take it personally please." 

You pouted. 

He smirked under the mask. 

"I promise. I'll take care of this, and then we'll enjoy each other." 

You rubbed your cheek against his hand again. 

"Darling… look at me. Do you understand? From now on, it's going to be Ghost. You're gonna have to be a good girl, and obey. Alright?" 

You looked up at him, nodding. 

"Good." 

You grabbed your phone, typing up. 

Can I still wear your hoodie… it comforts me… 

He chuckled.

"Yes. You can wear my hoodies. I'll still be here, I'm not leaving, ever. I'll just… my head's going to be focused on a target." 

You nodded. You were understanding that. You weren't going to fight over this. You still felt absolutely guilty and terrible. You just wanted for this to be over. Usually, when you were the target, you often ended up in almost similar situations, though this time you had been careless. You truly would have been dead if it wasn't for the squad having your back. 

You had let yourself go on the fact that you were on a military base and you thought you were perfectly safe. 

"Come on, rest now. Price and I are here." 

You smiled at him and nodded. You let yourself fall back into your pillow. He brushed a few strands of hair away from your face before turning and walking to the door meeting Laswell and Price outside. 

You looked at the ceiling thinking about the events. You were trying to remember everything that happened during the attack, something that might bring a memory, a piece of information. But the more you thought about it, the heavier your eyes became. You were exhausted. But also frustrated. The ache in your throat was a reminder of what was wrong. Was that guy's darkends? No. He wouldn't have put himself in danger like that.

You had to find darkends. You had to get to him. But how? Especially now that you were being watched constantly by squad 141. 

You closed your eyes. Swallowing felt really painful. You were thankful for the medication who was starting to numb the pain. You tried to stay awake but we're slowly being lulled to sleep. 

Did they walk back in? You were sure you could hear their voices… Did they put Reaper next to you? You could hug something fluffy now. You weren't sure, you were tired. You fell asleep. 

During the night, you woke up, feeling something heavy on you. You blinked looking down. You were absolutely shocked, Simon was cuddling you, his head over your stomach and his legs in between yours. He was hugging your waist. Price was outside, you could see his shadow through the blurred glass window. You smiled, letting your hand fall on Simon's head, softly caressing it through the mask. His grip around your waist tightened. 

"Hush… go to sleep Y/N." 

You smiled. You wanted to ask what happened to being professional? But you couldn't. Though he seemed to read your mind. 

"Let me just stay like this a bit… you're here. I almost fucking lost you-" 

You let your hand go to his cheeks caressing it and the other on his forearm. He sighed. 

"Sleep…" 

You smiled, closing your eyes again. It felt warm. Amazing to have him against you like this. You were falling back asleep, trapped in between the land of dream and reality. The world around you was a blur… 

My little bunny

After a full week you were discharged. Kate had completely refused to let you return to your apartment. Instead, a small space right at the center of the base had been converted into a living space. The small building had been made so the higher sergeant or lieutenant could catch a break and had a small kitchen and a bathroom and two small rooms that were previously offices. The two small rooms had been emptied and a bed, and a few other pieces of furniture were occupying the space. One of the rooms had bunk beds and a single bed so the boys could sleep. 

Soap had nicely brought things from your apartment, though Simon was the only one to touch your clothes… because… underwear. You had some blankets, your laptops, chargers, Reaper obviously, some hygiene products and mostly, Simon had brought you a few of his hoodies. 

You were bored. The boys wouldn't let you do anything on your own except go to the bathroom and shower. 

The doctor had run multiple tests, luckily, the strand of plastic that had wrapped around your neck had mostly cut the flow of air, bruised and burned your skin thanks to the fabric laced around the cable. The boys had very luckily found you fast enough and made sure that you were breathing. The bruises were still very visible, you tried to hide it  but it was pointless. Your voice was slowly coming back but talking was still a challenge so you kept using your phone to talk to the team. 

You wanted to do something, maybe walk around. You kept searching on your laptop, sending any bit of information to the rest of the IT team. Laswell kept nagging you, she wanted you to completely withdraw from the mission. You had refused, after all you were the one being hunted. 

After a few days, they had finally found the identity of the attacker, a soldier from base. He had no particular link to you or the mission, so you asked Laswell to bring his electronics. You spent hours on the small table in the makeshift living room, searching through his phone and laptop. It didn't take long to find evidence. 

Pictures, messages, videos, all from missions he had been on. Missions that turned wrong. All used to mentally blackmail and wash his brain into complying. You froze in place when you read one of the messages sent by darkends. 

And the little bird kept singing to everyone,  and the cat, jealous, made sure it would no longer sing.

That motherfucker. He had completely used that poor guy, just to taunt you? Just to send a message? Fuck, that guy's dead now! You felt incredibly guilty, closing the laptop with a snap, attracting curious looks your way. 

"Is everything ok?" Soap asked. 

Simon eyed you from a corner of the room. 

You grabbed your phone typing something. 

My throat hurts, I want to speak and I can't. I'm very frustrated. 

You lied. You tried to write something they would accept. 

"Oh, would you like tea?" He offered with a smile. 

You softened your features playing pretend and you nodded, mouthing thank you. 

You, on the other hand, grabbed your own laptop and immediately got to work. You had to secure the team. Their files were confidential, but you wouldn't put it past darkends to manage that exploit. You knew the boys wouldn't betray you, but you'd be damned if they were thrown into a fire you were causing. 

It took a few minutes to get into the protected system and find the files. You knew by now the IT team had been alerted by a breach of security because you weren't being careful. You wanted to encrypt the files until no one, no, one, could open them. You had very little time before someone came rushing through your door, probably Laswell, scolding you. 

You had managed to encrypt everything, living your signature imprint. Soap had given you a warm tea with honey in it and you smiled, this time a true one as you felt relieved. Little over a minute after, the door swung open, startling Price and Soap. 

"What the fuck?!" Laswell yelled. 

You were expecting it. You took a sip of your team, the warmth of it making you feel good and in slight pain. 

"What happened? " Price asked, following her glare straight to you. 

"You hacked the military?! What for??" She was slightly furious. Slightly. 

You opened the soldier's laptop, opening the message wide. You turned the screen to her. Everyone walked to it, reading it. You took this time to write on your phone. 

He's using people against me. I'm not letting him use my friends. 

She read your phone, the boys taking a glance too. 

"Damn right we're friends!" Soap cheered, earning a 'shut up' from Ghost.

"You protected their files?" She finally understood. 

You nodded typing again. 

Sorry I didn't ask, I wanted to do it fast.

She sighed. 

"That's going to be a lot of paperwork…" 

You smiled apologetically.

"You know, we'd never hurt you." Soap said, looking at you. 

You frowned sadly. 

"I know… he'd hurt you…" you tried with a low, shaky voice. It still burnt your throat to speak. But you felt like you needed to say it out loud. You needed to tell them you trusted them with your life. He smiled, running to hug you. You smiled too. There wasn't a doubt in your head, these men would protect you with their lives. You would be fucking damned if you wouldn't protect them at all costs. 

It had been almost three weeks now you were stuck in this little house. Sure, it was fun to spend time with the boys, playing poker or the switch. Unfortunately, as Simon had warned, he was cold. He was very professional and wouldn't participate in the games. It made you sad. You wanted to be in his arms. And in all honesty, you were slightly annoyed, and pouting. One hug. It wouldn't kill him! 

You could feel his eyes on you sometimes. Ghost really had seemed to be taking full control. His gaze was darker. It was thrilling. And you played with it. Especially now that you were bored and annoyed. You wore a tank top, sometimes without bras, your nipples showing through the fabric. He would look absolutely furious. The poor boys were the one paying for your taunts as he threw murderous glances to everyone. You had given up, taking pity on the boys. You'd talk back, you'd be a brat. But he kept it professional. Much to your dismay. 

It had been extremely peaceful. Your bruises were almost faded, but your voice was still shaky. You'd speak a bit more often. But no yelling, no laughing out loud. At least you didn't have to type anymore. 

Nothing had happened. Nothing. Darkends had been silent. You were even wondering if he hadn't given up. It was, however, calm before the storm.

Laswell walked in, three soldiers behind her. Everyone turned to the newcomers, attention on them. 

"We have a problem." 

Price stood from the small couch. 

"Your apartment has been trashed." She continued.

This time she was talking to you. You jumped from the chair. 

"No. No. You are not coming." She warned.

"What..?" You hated how weak your voice was. 

"Ghost, Soap and price, you're coming with me, Sparrow you'll be staying with these recruits for the next few hours. Gaz and Konig will also join them soon." 

You frowned. That was ridiculous! You were going to say it out loud before Ghost spoke. 

"No. Stay." 

You looked at him. You wanted to scream but you just looked angrily at him. 

"Get mad if you want. Wouldn't change shit." He fumed. 

You gasped, shocked. 

You flipped him the bird, earning a terrifying glance from him and a laugh from Soap. You ran to your room, locking the door behind you. God! Your blood was boiling. They wanted to protect you, sure. But it was your mission. You wanted to be part of it. 

You heard them as they left. You needed to do something. You needed to go there with them. It was your house! Your home. Your eyes stopped on the window. This was a long shot. A very long one. But fuck you needed to try it. You opened it, taking a look outside. You could see the cars not too far. The gears in your mind were turning. Was there any way you could run and hide in the trunk? 

Fuck. It was either staying in your room, or giving it a try. The worst that could happen is Ghost finding you and… who knows. 

You slipped through the window, thanking whatever you could that the ground wasn't too far from your feet. Walking to the corner of the building you took a peek. Laswell was having some kind of pep talk. You looked at the car in front of you. You had to run, hide behind it, open the trunk as discreetly as possible and hide in it. 

You took a deep breath, hunching down and making a run for it. 

You couldn't believe it. It worked. You were behind the jeep. Now was not the time to get cold feet, you had to act fast. You slowly unlocked it, cringing at the lock's noise. You opened it slightly just enough to roll your body inside. Now closing it was the hardest part. And then there it was. Price and Laswell barking orders loudly. Loud enough to cover the sound of the trunk closing. So you did, not wasting this chance.

You exhaled. God. You couldn't believe this. The car shook as the doors opened. You froze, eyes widening. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. 

People got in. By the voices, Soap, Ghost Price and someone else. 

The way the car rolled out of parking, you knew Ghost was driving. It was going to be a long ride. 

And it had been. You were sure to have a few bruises when you'd get out. When the car finally stopped you almost thanked the skies for it. The guys got out. Now you had to get out. An idea popped in your head. You took your phone out texting Soap. 

Soap. Trunk. Don't tell Ghost. 

What? 

TRUNK. 

You waited. It was long. What was he doing?! 

And suddenly the trunk opened. Soap looked absolutely horrified. You would have laughed.  But also looked horrified when he closed the trunk right back. What the…?! 

You knocked on the trunk repeatedly to make him open again. And he did, still wide eyed and now looking around to see if anyone was looking. 

"What are you doing here?!" He said in the loudest hushed whisper ever. 

"I'm going to see my apartment!" You answered in the same tone, glad to be talking in a low voice. You rolled and jumped out of the trunk. 

"Nonononononono…." He whispered-yelled again. 

"Yes. Yes. Yes." You claimed looking straight at him. 

"LT is going to kill us! You for disobeying and me for hiding you from him!" He hushed again. 

You rolled your eyes. 

"You're fine!" You whispered-yelled too. 

You passed right by him heading straight to your building. 

"Sparrow! No!! Fuck!" 

You kept heading up, now fully visible to everyone Soap running up to you. He looked visibly unwell. You promised yourself to take the fall for him. You were climbing the stairs, every soldier now noticing you and looking a mix of shock and terror as you passed by. It made you uneasy. You started to worry about Ghost's reaction too. But now was no time to worry. You were here, you were going to investigate. 

Finally reaching your apartment door you stepped inside. The first one to see you was price. And the first thing you noticed, was that the place wasn't trashed at all. 

"Y/N!" Price reprimanded. 

You stopped. Fuck. He could have said anything. A 'why are you here', or 'what the fuck' or anything else. But your name? It attracted him. He almost came running from the hallway. When your eyes locked, the only thing you wanted to do was run. He immediately rushed to you picking you up, throwing you over his shoulder. 

"No!" You tried.

You pounded on his back, though he clearly didn't seem to care. He started heading towards the door. In a last attempt you grabbed someone's arm. Laswell. 

"Lieutenant." 

He stopped. You closed your eyes, sighing with relief.

"Please put her down." 

He took a second, his breathing had quickened, but he put you down, not softly, you had to get your balance back. 

You frowned at him. A staring match starting. 

"Sparrow." Laswell reasoned. 

You looked at her. 

"Why are you here? How did you even?" She asked. 

"It's. My. Mission. My house Kate." You explained. Your voice kept at a normal level, even though rage coursed through your mind. 

She opened her mouth but your cut her off. 

"It's my life on the line." She looked taken aback. "Don't keep me out of this." 

She seemed to think for a second. Finally, she nodded slightly. You relaxed your shoulders, turning to look at Ghost. He truly looked furious. But so were you. You stuck your tongue out at him. 

"You little-" 

You turned your back on him turning to Laswell. 

"The place was supposed to be trashed." You noted. 

For a second hey eyes faltered. You immediately understood. Your room. You headed down the hall, stepping inside your bedroom. You weren't prepared for what you saw. The tags on the walls, the room completely trashed. Your belongings everywhere, on the floor, broken or ripped apart. You didn't even have to guess. The words 'you're mine birdie' had been spray painted all over the walls. You looked to the floor, kicking the head of one of your stuffed animals that seemed to be missing his body. 

"Are you alright?" Kate asked, showing up next to you. 

You shrugged. 

"It's just some objects. I'm fine. It's going to take forever to fix it though." 

You walked to your built PC, completely broken. 

"This, however, breaks my heart." 

She chuckled. 

"We'll pay for a new one. I promise." 

You smiled at her. You checked the broken components. Your hard drive was still there. Nothing had been stolen. This was just for show. 

"Anything?" She asked. 

"Nothing. Nothing's been stolen. This was on purpose, to send a message." You said. 

She sighed. 

"The question now is, was it him or did he have another puppet?" She wondered.

Ghost walked in. For some reason. You knew you were fucked. And not in a good way. 

"May I take her now? I'd like to have a chat with her in the bathroom" He asked. 

You looked panicked, looking at Kate for help. She grinned. 

"Absolutely. She's all yours lieutenant." 

"What?" You said, voice barely above normal. You tried not to force your voice and you hated it.

"What? You thought we'd leave you unpunished?" She asked. 

"What the fu-" 

You didn't have time to finish, in two steps he crossed the space in between you two grabbing your wrist and dragging you with him. Kate pretended to look away at something much more interesting.

"Traitor!" You threw as you exited the room.

Your heart beat rose as you approached the bathroom. You felt everyone's gaze as you were shoved inside, Ghost behind you. You turned around to look at him, mouth gasping as you saw him lock the door.

When his eyes met yours you shivered. You didn't exactly know if it was fear or anticipation.  He crossed his arms over his chest. He had rolled up his sleeves, his muscles flexing. 

"You don't fucking listen." 

You gazed back into his eyes. 

"For the past week, you've been bratting non-stop." He stepped forward, now inches from you. 

You frowned, trying to have some kind of composure in front of him. 

"What's wrong bunny? Cat got your tongue?" 

God you felt yourself melt. Bunny… the last time he called you like that was in the hospital. 

"I'm sure I saw it moments ago in the living room though. Such a big mouth yet very little action. Once it's only the two of us, you melt down"  

That motherf-

"Fuck you Ghost." You spat, mouth running faster than your brain.

He chuckled. A very dark one. He grabbed your wrists, made your arms fold behind your back and twisted you so you were back to him, staring into the bathroom mirror. He was right behind you staring right back at you. Your cheeks burned. Fuck… 

"You want my attention. That's what you fucking want." He spoke in a low grunt, right next to your ear. You closed your eyes. 

"Eyes on me." He ordered. 

You opened them looking at him in the mirror.

"Good girl." He praised. "If you want attention, now you have it. You have my whole attention." He growled. 

He held your wrist with one hand only. Fuck he was so big compared to you. His other hand rose to your mouth. 

"Bite it. Take off my glove." 

You frowned. 

"If I have to repeat myself, you're going to regret it." He warned. 

You opened your mouth slowly. His clothed fingers touching your lips. You grabbed the fabric in between your teeth and he wiggled his hand out. He grabbed it as you let it drop. 

"See. You can be such a good girl. But no. All you wanted was my attention. You couldn't fucking handle seeing me right there not touching you." 

The more he spoke the warmer you felt. What was he doing? What was happening… 

"S-simon…" you let out. 

"Wrong. Try again."

Fuck… 

"Ghost…" you whined. 

"Yes. Ghost. I told you it was going to be like this. That I was going to be professional." He explained.

His naked fingers reached your lips again. 

"Open." 

You blushed, eyes widening a bit. 

"Bunny." He warned. 

Your lips parted slowly. 

"Stick your tongue out. Go on. You seem to like doing it in front of everyone, so do it for me." 

You obeyed. Two of his fingers touched your tongue, softly applying pressure. The rest of his hand enveloping your chin.

You whined. 

"I told you. I warned you. And yet you walk around half fucking naked in front of my men just to rile me up." He hissed. 

His hand lingered there. The more your mouth was open, the harder it was to swallow, his fingers getting wetter by the second. 

"My mind is fucking stuck in killing mode. And you rile me up bunny? Congratulations, you might be the only one to manage to fucking turn on Ghost." 

You couldn't believe it. You had turned him on. You had been torturing him. Fuck, the way he looked at you. 

"Do you know how many times I wanted to bend you over the table and fuck you in front of everyone? Just to fucking show them who you belong to?" 

You bent your back, trying to grind unto him, his little confession having much more effect on you than you wanted. However he didn't allow it, backing off without letting you go. 

"Oh no little bunny. Do you like that thought?" He chuckled again. 

You were obviously drooling all over his hand. Not that it seemed to bother him. 

"Fuck… look at you little one. So fucking pretty for me. So obedient. The only reason I'm not deep throating you with my fingers, that I'm not wrapping my hand around your pretty neck, it's that it's too soon. I don't want to hurt my little doll." 

Ok. Now you were wet. That asshole was torturing you just like you did to him. You closed your eyes, whining again. 

"Look. At. Me." He ordered again. 

You obeyed. You looked at him, pleading. You didn't even know what you were pleading for.

"Are you going to be a good girl now? Are you going to behave for me?" He asked in a vanilla voice that contrasted a lot with the way he was holding you. 

You whined again, trying to nod your head. 

"Fuck. Look what mess you made of my hand… go on. Suck on my fingers." 

You looked a bit shocked again but he held your gaze. Your lips wrapped around him as you retracted your tongue. You sucked softly, using your tongue to lick your saliva off his fingers. 

"Fuck bunny… such a good girl." 

The way he praised you, his own voice laced with desire. This situation had escalated quickly.

He took back his finger, wiping your chin. He sighed. His now free hand traveled to your waist, his arm now wrapping around it. The other let go of your wrists, letting you bring your arms back to your chest. He hugged you tightly from behind, hiding his face in your neck. 

"I-I'm sorry…" 

You blinked. Did you really hear that? 

"Ghost…" 

"I'm sorry… I… got off track." 

You smiled. 

"It's ok… it was… nice" you tried. 

He looked back up at the mirror. 

"Really. I trust you. You… can do those things to me…" you looked away. You couldn't hold his gaze anymore. What the hell were you saying? 

"Don't say shit like that bunny… I'm gonna loose my fucking mind with you. I'm on mission fuck." 

His embrace tightened, his hands traveling a bit closer to places you craved. You had been wanting this. His arms. Being in his hold. This was even more than you had wished for. 

Your phone buzzed. You couldn't see the screen but he did. And whatever he read there, brought him back to reality. 

"God fucking damn it!" He cursed. 

That woke you up too. He let go of you and headed out of the door. You blinked. You took your phone in your hand. 

Hi birdie, I'm coming.

What the? You opened the message log. How? How did he get so close now? Another message showed. 

The little bird, no longer singing, was sad. The wolf took pity and swore to protect the birdie. The cat, growing even more jealous, swore that he'd take her from him. 

You shivered. You had to be honest. That guy was frightening. A complete psycho. And he just ruined your moment so fuck him. You walked out, everyone was already running everywhere. 

"Sparrow, you're going back to base right now." Price announced. 

You nodded, not wanting to discuss this. You choose your battles and this wasn't one you wanted to win. Laswell walked to you, hand forward asking for your phone. You gave it to her for her to read the message that clearly Ghost had already told everyone about. She cursed loudly. 

"Hansen, Soap take her back to base." 

Hansen? Peter was here? You looked at him smiling a bit as he clearly looked anxious. 

"Wait. I'll take her." Ghost interrupted. 

"No. I need you somewhere else lieutenant. They can perfectly bring her to safety." She refused. 

Ghost looked annoyed, his hands turning into fists. 

"I'll be with her LT. I'm keeping her safe." Soap said. 

It warmed your heart. Peter simply nodded, still looking on the verge of having a panic attack. 

"Good. Now go!" Laswell ordered. 

You smiled at Ghost as you followed Soap and Peter out. 

You headed down the stairs to the parking lot, the two men closely watching you and your surroundings. 

"We can take my car" Peter offered. 

Soap frowned but nodded. Peter unlocked his car, opening the backdoor for you. You hopped in as he closed the door. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. You wanted this to end. You needed your calm, boring life back. You wanted to enjoy Simon and continue whatever was happening between the both of you. You also wanted to finally sit down with him and ask him what he truly wanted from you, hoping that he wanted you to be his officially. You needed to hear him say it. 

You opened your eyes back as the car shook a bit. Peter had sat in the driver's seat, turning the car on. 

"Where's Soap?" You asked. 

"The lieutenant called him back." Peter said. 

Really? That was weird… Ghost wouldn't have let you alone with Peter. 

The car moved as you started to head out of the parking spot. You turned in your seat watching through the back window. You felt your heart fall into an abyss when you saw Soap lying on the ground. 

"What the fuck?!" You yelled, too loud for your sore throat. 

You turned back to Peter. He looked different. A new confidence in him that was unfamiliar. 

"Don't worry. He's not dead. Just napping." 

You were confused and suddenly terrified. Did darkends also blackmail Peter ?

"Peter, whatever that guy is blackmailing you with, I can help you. Please." You tried to reason him. 

He laughed. 

"You're adorable. Really. I can't wait to have you all to myself birdie." 

And it clicked. The puzzle pieces finally fit together. How was this even possible? Simon was right. You didn't recognize your own voice as you stated the obvious.

"You're darkends."

____

A/N: my foreshadowing is shit, and ya'll are too smart

[riveramorylunar]

A Win For The Team

Pairings: Softball Coach Charlize Theron x Softball Player Reader

Warnings ⚠️: scratches, age difference, height difference, shouting & pure fluff

Pet Names/Nicknames: Dear, Sweetheart & Char

Word Count: 1,784

Baseball and softball season was starting soon which meant the teams had to start practicing. The Red Hawks were the worst team in both baseball and softball. Even though they had great couches the players were still awful. They lost every match and never got into the big leagues.

Y/N Y/L/N had played softball before she could even walk. People thought it was crazy and unbelievable but it was true. Since then her love for softball grew and she had joined all the softball teams her schools had up until after graduation when they moved from New Zealand to Kansas. Y/N had just turned 19 before her and her family moved. Her friends threw a huge goodbye/birthday party which she absolutely loved and had the best time.

"So Y/N are you going to join the softball team" Luca said as he looked at his younger sister. "I don't know I've heard that this is the worst team ever even if they have amazing coaches" Y/N said causing her brother to laugh. He was 6 years older than Y/N which made him 25 years old. "Maybe if you joined they'd get better" Luca said causing Y/N to think. "Alright I'll join" Y/N said causing her brother to smile.

Luca drove Y/N to the softball field and saw the team already practicing. Once they got out they heard someone shouting. "GUYS COME ON IF YOU GUYS WANT TO GET INTO THE LEAGUES YOU HAVE TO GET BETTER" they heard a woman shout. They looked over at the bleachers to see a woman with short blonde hair wearing a baseball uniform. She was wearing a red baseball hat as well. "She seems nice" Luca said as they walked over. "Excuse me Miss" Luca said causing the woman to look over. Y/N gasped at how beautiful the woman was. She had the most beautiful forest green eyes. "What can I help you with" the woman said as she stood up and put her hands in her pockets. Go was she tall Y/N thought. "Well my sister wants to join your team" Luca said causing the woman to raise her eyebrow. "Are any better than these girls" the woman said pointing to the girls who were practicing. "Definitely" Y/N said causing the woman to smirk before holding out her hand. "I'm Coach Theron let's see what you got" The Woman said and Y/N grabbed her hand. "Y/N Y/L/N what's your first name" Y/N said causing the woman to laugh before letting go of Y/N's hand. "You're bold and it's Charlize by the way but everyone calls me Coach Theron or Ms. Theron" she said and Y/N immediately smiled.

Y/N followed Charlize to the field and told everyone to take a break. All the girls rushed off and towards the bleachers. Y/N just chuckled quietly before taking her bat out. Unlike the other girls who had colorful baseball bats Y/N had a black metal one.

Y/N watched as Charlize walked to the pitcher base before rolling her shoulders out. Y/N did the same before gripping her baseball bat tightly. Y/N breathed in and out as she opened her eyes and nodded. Charlize nodded back before throwing the ball really fast. Y/N watched the ball before swinging the bat and hitting the ball perfectly causing it to go flying. "HELL YEAH THAT'S MY LITTLE SISTER" Luca shouted causing Y/N to blush slightly. She looked up to see Charlize walking up to her. "That was amazing I'd like to see you pitch" Charlize said and Y/N nodded. "Lilly come swing" Charlize shouted. Y/N watched as a girl with dark purple hair rushed over. I watched as she breathed in and out before opening her eyes and nodding. I smiled before lifting my leg up and throwing the ball almost as fast as Charlize did. The girl squealed before swinging the bat completely missing it. Charlize caught the ball before smiling. "Looks like we have a new member welcome to the team Y/N" Charlize said and I felt someone collided with my back. "That was amazing Y/N" Y/N heard her brother say causing her to smile. Charlize walked up to the both of them. "We have 3 months to practice until we face the Tasmanians" Charlize said and Y/N nodded. "Oh and Y/N maybe you can help the girls to get better" Charlize said and Y/N smiled. "I'll try my best Coach Theron" Y/N said causing Charlize to smile.

A month into practicing and the team was getting better which made Charlize proud. Charlize was sitting on the bench when Y/N joined her. "They're getting much better" Charlize said as she watched the team do throwing exercises. "All thanks to you" she said before looking over at Y/N. Y/N looked up at Charlize and smiled. After sitting quietly for a couple minutes Y/N looked back over. "Are you dating anyone" Y/N blurted out but immediately started talking again. "Not because I like you, I mean you're pretty hot and I don't know how you can be single, everyone should be falling for you" Y/N rambled on causing Charlize to laugh before leaning back. "No I'm not dating anyone. There were many times people have asked me out but I always said no" Charlize said before she looked at Y/N. "Why did you always say no" Y/N questioned causing Charlize to raise an eyebrow. "They didn't seem like the right person" Charlize said before winking at Y/N making her look away and blush slightly.

Another month had passed and Charlize & Y/N had gotten closer. "Come on Lilly you can do it just focus on the ball alright" Y/N shouted as she stood at the pitcher base. Y/N had been helping Lilly out since she was the only one that had a harder time. "Y/N I don't know if I can do it" Lilly shouted back and Y/N sighed before rubbing her face. "Just try at least" Y/N said and Lilly nodded her head before breathing in and out. Y/N smiled when Lilly nodded her head again before throwing the ball. Lilly closed her eyes and swung the bat. She hit the ball and it went flying. "THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT" Y/N shouted as she rushed over and hugged Lilly picking her up off the ground. The others rushed over and hugged the shorter girl as well while some of them patted her head. Lilly hid her face in embarrassment at all the attention she was getting. "It looks like we're ready to beat the Tasmanians" they all heard Coach Theron say. "But coach we still got one more month" Rayla said and the other girls nodded. "That is true but you've all gotten pretty good" Charlize said causing all the girls to smile. "Oh and if we win I'll take you all out to the diner" Charlize said causing all the girls to scream.

The day for them to face the Tasmanians had arrived and Y/N was nervous. She sat down on the ground of her bedroom as she leaned against her bed. "Sis it's almost ti- oh are you alright what happened" Y/N heard Luca say and Y/N slowly stood up. "I'm fine just nervous is all" Y/N said and her brother smiled before walking over and pulling Y/N into a hug. "You're going to do amazing out there like you do every time" Luca said and Y/N hugged back. "Thank you brother" Y/N said as she pulled away. "No Problem sis" Luca said before patting Y/N's head.

"Alright everyone listen up we've been practicing every day for the last 2 and a half months so you better get out there and win do you hear me" Charlize shouted out. "YES COACH THERON" all the girls shouted back causing her to smile. Charlize put her hand out and all the girls put their hands on top of hers. "On Three. One Two Three" Charlize said. "Go Red Hawks" They all shouted before they rushed towards the field. "Hey Y/N wait up" Charlize said before grabbing Y/N's wrist and pulling her back. "Yes Coach Theron" Y/N said smiling softly. "If we win I'll give you an extra surprise" Charlize said making Y/N blush slightly before nodding her head. "I'll be sure to win then Coach" Y/N said causing Charlize to smirk. "Good now go out there and make me proud" she said before Y/N rushed off. She watched as Y/N rushed off before smiling.

It was the final inning and if Y/N hit a home run they would win. "COME ON Y/N YOU CAN DO IT" the girls along with her brother shouted out. Y/N looked over at Charlize and she put her thumbs up. Y/N looked back at the pitcher of the other team before breathing in and out. She opened her eyes and got ready. The pitcher smirked before throwing the ball really fast. Y/N smirked back before swinging the bat and hitting the ball making it go flying. She dropped her bat before sticking her tongue out at the pitcher before darting off. When she touched the home base she was immediately lifted up off the ground. "Good job sweetheart" she heard Charlize say as she hugged back. People were cheering like crazy. Charlize set her down before taking Y/N's hat off and kissing her.

The girls on the team screamed in excitement as Y/N's brother just stared in shock with his eyes widened and mouth open. "When the hell did this happen" Luca said after he snapped out of it. Before he could walk any farther the girls stopped him. "Leave them be they're having their moment" Kenzie said poking Luca's forehead causing him to frown. "But" Luca was cut off when all the girls glared at him. "No buts you are not ruining a perfectly good moment now shoo" Daisy said pushing him away. Luca huffed before walking away causing all the girls to smile. They looked back over to see Y/N's face buried into Charlize's chest. "So are you two dating now" Hannah said as they walked over. Y/N nodded her head against Charlize's chest causing the girls to giggle. "You guys are absolutely perfect for each other" Lilly said making the other girls nod in agreement.

"Alright alright that's enough, get in the van and we'll head to the diner I did promise you girls" Charlize said and the girls giggled before rushing off towards the blue van. Charlize pulled away and looked down at Y/N who was already looking up at her. Charlize leaned down before pecking Y/N's lips. "Let's go before they leave without us" Charlize said right before she was getting pulled towards the van. "Char your an amazing Coach we couldn't have done it without you" Y/N said causing Charlize to smile softly.

[lenific]

Trouble, Trouble

beastlycheese asked:

Baelfire has a crush on the new librarian

Or

Rumplestiltskin finds his new maid's diary

Beastly wishes x

---------

The first sign of trouble was the untouched bowl of ice cream in the freezer. Gold stared at it in disbelief for a full five seconds - unused to tasty leftovers during Bae's growth spurts - before his mind went for the absolutely worst scenario and he hurried across the house and upstairs to knock on his son's bedroom door.

"Just how sick are you?" he asked as soon as the door opened.

Or perhaps he shouted. Maybe. Probably. Luckily Bae had grown up listening to the care under the panicked growling.

His son blinked up at him.

The second sign of trouble was that Bae crashed into him in a tight hug.

Gold forgot to breathe for a moment, even as he grappled with his cane and the twelve-year-old glued to him. His boy was a sweet kid, hardly a scowl or a grimace crossing his face despite his father's example. But physical affection wasn't a staple in their home. A quick pat on the shoulder, sure, or a high-five when merited; but hugs and kisses had been left behind with Bae's toddlerhood.

"I'm going to assume I don't need to call Dr. Whale," Gold said in as soothing a voice as he could manage, making sure to hold onto his boy as long as he was allowing it.

Bae shook his head.

"Trouble at school?" he guessed. There had been a few bullies in Bae's life, and though he did trust Mrs. Nolan to handle the garden variety, Gold had been forced to step in on a couple of occasions. He was already wondering which family needed a reminder on how to parent a child appropriately, when Bae shook his head again.

Well, there went his hope for an easy solution.

"What's wrong, then?"

Bae squeezed harder, saying nothing.

Gold patted his son's head. He hated feeling at a loss, especially when Bae's wellbeing was at stake. He had gotten complacent, that's what was wrong. When Bae was a colicky baby, Gold had watched him like a hawk. As a stubborn little boy with more daring than common sense, Gold had trailed after him, praying for no broken bones. But lately Bae had quieted down, made friends other than high ledges and tall trees, and he seemed happier.

Gold had stopped watching closely.

And now this happened.

"Hey, Bae. Whatever it is," he promised, "I'll make it better."

Bae raised his head, flushed cheeks, tear-filled eyes, and a frankly disgusting trail of snot. "I asked her out," he mumbled.

"Wendy probably was too surprised -"

The third sign of trouble was Bae's disgruntled glare.

"Wendy?"

Gold invested every cell of his body in hiding his wince. When Bae had told him about a girl he liked, he'd allowed the secrecy over her identity because he was confident it was the Darling oldest. Little Wendy had played nurse to Bae's scrapes so many times, that Gold thought it natural that the children would get a little crush on each other at some point.

...well, he'd thought it natural once her parents good-naturedly mentioned it, and laughed at his struck look. Things like that made sense after someone pointed it out to him.

(Or kissed him silly. But this wasn't the time to think about Belle French.)

"Oh, my mistake," he said, focusing on the current situation. Namely, his upset son. "Do I know her?"

Bae shrugged. "Dunno. I've never seen you at the library."

For a few more seconds, while Gold pondered which girls frequented the library (because he did go there, and often), all was good.

Then Bae spoke:

"The new librarian is so pretty," he said dreamily, unaware of his father's expression. Then he sighed in crushed defeat. "I really shouldn't be surprised someone else already asked her on a date."

The End 12/02/24

[sanchoyo]

Hiiiiii, it is I again!! I just finished Cold Love and gosh!

The ending was just so nice, mostly when I thought SHIGGY WAS DYING FOR A MOMENT- 😭 Then they were just being super sweet at the beach and I ngl cried a little, they all deserved that happiness <3 I also still wanna cry (In a good way tho) BECAUSE I FINISHED THE WHOLE THING I wanna write a little note to myself, next to my bed, erase my memories about these 2 fics, then wake up next morning, read the note and reread the whole thing with as much joy as the first time! I'm gonna reread them FOR SURE, but not now as they're still fresh in my brain :3

And you know, Cold Love has opened my mind more than it already was I mean I already love heroes and villains, but you've put a lot more details that made me go: "Shit, I didn't think it was THAT much"

The way you wrote how the hero commission treats heroes made me think of what my parents always tell me about Actors and Models. "Their lives/bodies don't belong to them, it belongs to the company they work for" That sentence hit me even more when the chapters were Hawks centered. Poor guy, he was a literal lab rat. The worst is that he ISN'T THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH THAT

Villains, I already sympathized with a lot, in other medias and MHA too But your fic made me realize that, when they do those crimes, it's for them but mostly for OTHERS as well!! They're like heroes, in a way, because they want to make society BETTER. They do this because they know how it feels to be rejected, hated and they want to change it so NO ONE ELSE has to go through this. Also, we often see them not caring about dying if they do achieve their goal, because they know next gens will have better lives than they ever had. WHICH I THINK IS HELLA SAD BUT SO NICE OF THEM???

Though I DON'T agree with them taking lives of course, but I don't hate them anyways because, when they've been rejected by everyone and everything, how else are they supposed to get attention? Very unfortunately, crimes is often their answer…

I think, if I was in MHA, I'd also opt for the Vigilante route. Fuck the hero commission lmao

I won't tell why, but let's just say that I'm more compassionate about villains now <3

ON A MUCH LIGHTER NOTE!! Fanart for Warm Healer is on the way!! So keep an eye open? :3

Fun fact for Cold Love: When Bret asked why Dabi was in the closet, I blurted out: "BECAUSE HE'S GAY!!" Lmao

So yeah, just wanted to say your fics are great! They've inspired me into improving my own fics <3 I even started making my own Shiggy x Reader AND a Dabi x Reader too! Because most of them are smut centered and I don't want just NSFW ya kno?

Anyways, I'm done rambling lol Thanks for writing WH and CL, thanks for inspiring me, thanks for bringing me joy and sorry for rambling that much lmao

Hope you're doing well, lots of love, take care and keep being awesome!!

thank you so much for such a long, sweet message 💗💗💗

I really enjoy bnha fics where the writers closely examine the society and its problems because its SO interesting (and im kind of sad the way it went in canon, I wanted a lot more and found the school setting kind of restricting for it in general, but we'll always have fics haha) i'm glad you enjoyed me doing that just a little bit! (maybe it was kind of weird to include in a romance SI series, but also it would've felt like a huge disservice in my opinion because ALL of the villains stories are influenced by the society they live in and how heroes are treated...)

aaah again, don't feel obligated to do the fanart but if you do, definitely tag me/send it my way, I'd love to see!! 🥺 (also you're writing your own shigaraki/reader and dabi/reader!!! omg!! I hope you have fun making your own!!! they're so fun to write <3 I agree on the wanting more SFW SI fics, sometimes I just wanna go on silly adventures with my favs y'know? :"))

no need to apologize for rambling!! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much!!! your message made my day ^_^ I hope you have a good day too and your writing/art projects go well!!

[fluffykitteninabox]

I never blamed Dabi for using the footage of Hawks killing Twice, but I also wonder what was Hawks supposed to do after offering Twice a chance to surrender, besides offering asylum for the rest of his friends as well since that was the main reason Twice rejected his offer?

This is coming from someone who only watched the anime adaptation, so I would like to know why this event is a setback for Hawks character development.

Hi, thank you for the ask🥰🥰

here, have some sparkles ✨✨✨

Also sorry in advance but I ramble a lot and...

I don't know if there's an equivalent phrase in English but in Greek we say "Μέσω Λαμίας" when we do something in the most inefficient way possible.

This is me in this post! 😂 (and also Hawks too in a way👀)

Also I'm not a meta blog so I don't always have a conclusion when I start responding and I might realise something new mid way through typing and then I go back and edit stuff because I change my mind so...

hopefully this makes sense

First of all I do agree that this is the main reason Twice rejected the offer, but probably not the only one.

I think the two "requirements" for his offer to work would be

Hawks extending the offer to not just Twice, but to the other LOV members as well

Convince Twice that this offer is genuine and he's not just lying to him

And that second one is kind of hard to do because Hawks gave their location away to the heroes who are currently ambushing them and he's also attacking Twice specifically. Plus Twice had been let down by heroes and society itself in the past (as have all the other league members) so it would be hard for him to trust that this "chance at rehabilitation" isn't at best going to fail, or at worst a trick.

And I don't think Hawks meets either of these two requirements. I'm not saying he's lying when he offers to help Twice. It's more like... he can't actually do what he's promising here.

The commission gave Hawks the order to kill Twice, not bring him for rehab. So in his mind that option wasn't possible from the start. He entered the battle knowing how it would have to end. That's why he wastes a bunch time by explaining himself to Twice, he doesn't want to do it.

If Hawks doesn't offer help to Twice, then there's also the option of simply arresting him without talking to him at all. (Then they would have probably placed him in Tartarus, because other people would have witnessed his arrest and the commission definitely wouldn't want people to know they give heroes assassination missions.)

I pointed it out in some posts here and there, but Hawks very clearly had the upper hand in the battle right up until the moment Dabi joined. The scene starts with Twice already pinned down to the ground surrounded by Hawks' feathers. Even when he starts making clones to fight, we see that Hawks doesn't need to put much effort to destroy them. He almost doesn't move from his spot at the door at all before Dabi comes in. He could have very easily knocked him unconscious and taken him quietly. We know he is physically capable of doing all of that.

But again, Hawks went into this with the predetermined notion that anything other than killing Twice wouldn't work.

So in this case Hawks had other options technically speaking, but he thought he didn't because of the way the HPSC have conditioned him to follow their orders. When Dabi joins the battle Hawks loses the control he had over the situation.

He could stand still before and let his feathers do the work, now he has to dodge Dabi's attacks.

He had Twice immobilised on the floor, now he escapes literally from under him.

He was wasting time before, but now he needs to find a way to end this quickly.

So he does what he was ordered to do in the first place.

All of this to say that Hawks had plenty of other options, but also no other option at the same time!

Twice's death was a tragedy because it could have very easily been prevented, but it was also inevitable.

Hawks had the ability to make other options, he's not like the nomu, he has free will. It was his own choice to kill in the end. But because of the way he was groomed by the commission in his mind there was only one option.

----------------------------------------

Now about the second point..

I don't think Hawks' decision to kill Twice was bad for his character development. In fact I always thought Twice's death was a great direction for the story to go. It creates conflict which makes things interesting.

My problem is that this very interesting plot point wasn't used to its full potential afterwards.

We don't see Hawks thinking about his decision, whether or not he could have done things differently. We don't see him regret it. Again I have said in some other posts that I (personally) didn't even need Hawks to regret killing Twice specifically. I would have been happy to see him struggle with his decision to kill a person in general. He took someone's life, I think he should have been more affected by it. But by some of his lines in the latest chapters it seems like he didn't struggle with that at all. (I'm keeping it vague because you said you only watched the anime and I don't want to spoil you, even if it's just a couple of lines)

This didn't just affect Hawks' character arc, he's just the worst case because his character arc was stopped in its tracks.

Imagine Twice's death as Chekhov's gun in a way, but it's for character growth. And then Hori brought some bullets to shoot but forgot the actual gun! Twice died and we saw how that affected the villains (and not even all of them) but we didn't see how it affected the heroes.

We never got to see Tomura's reaction to losing another member of the league (when we saw him avenging Magne in the Overhaul arc)

Dabi asks Tokoyami "who do you think really needs saving?" and Tokoyami never thinks about that ever again.

Hawks kills a man and then proceeds to never think about it again (except to publicly acknowledge the fact)

Also Hawks is used in the Todoroki family side plot a lot after the war, which in my opinion is a bit forced. I think it would be more interesting to see him separately from his parasocial relationship with Endeavor. He was already lacking in the self identification department because of how the commission groomed him, I was hoping he would separate from them after the war. Not only does he not do that, he also latches onto Endeavor and is now only a tool to push his atonement arc forward. And he doesn't even do a good job doing that! (Again keeping this kind of vague, hopefully I didn't accidentally spoil anything you don't already know)

Basically I wanted to see more of his internal conflict. I wanted to see him struggle I WANTED ANGST AAAAAA!! 😂😂

Hopefully we're going to get that now with the inevitable Hawks vs Toga, but this will still be external conflict caused by his actions. I still think it would work much better if we saw his thought process before he gets narrative consequences.

[atangledfate]

Sonic actually stepped back and listened. He listened to Jet this time letting his anger and hurt be directed at him the confused expression turned into a look of calm yet serious. "You…You just haven't reached that point yet you're close though i know that limits i mean why do you think i see you as a rival. An enemies for a temporary time sure i started to hate you for how you was towards me but that didn't mean i respected you any less about your skills-" He stuttered to a pause frowning.

"Are you serious! You are THE legendry wind master the actual one who is the ruler a king of the skies- Me being born with a natural talent and fastest thing alive doesn't mean anything. You trained to get to that place so yes I get it your rage about be just coming alone and stealing that would make you hate me! And that hate pushed you again to beat me and you can keep that hatred or anger if it helps but only if it helps you if it destroys you- and I know anger does…." Sonic was on his own ramble like he needed to finally speak his actual feeling instead of hiding behind his own sass or anger.

"What do you mean pretending to be a hero anyway I am a hero if I wasn't I wouldn't be trying to talk with you on this as a respected rival." He hopes Jet doesn't point out his own…dark shadow as in himself - though Jet if he assumed or rather hoped was right doesn't know that.

"Look just I'm already hurting my own Ego and pride by having this talk and admitting.. you are the only king of the skies here i already told you back with the Zombots doesn't matter how i acted after and even now what i said was true okay. I needed you back then i said you was the only one who could help because you was the fastest in the skies. And you agreed to help you could have made that so much more awkward for me after saying that."

"No tricks no..games I'm sorry am i talking to the jet i started to know?" Sonic tone lighted up teasing the Hawk in a friendly manner. Was time all it took for Jet to have his anger die and here Sonic was clinging onto any annoyed anger to Jet to try not to make amends either but his feelings had just came rushing out, the fact that he never hated the other in the first place but Jet never saw it that way he saw a smug hero pretending to be a hero who stole something from him that was a treasure a precious title

" For all i know you could..be lying when you say you don't hate my anymore but.. I guess it's needed to be said - i don't. I never wated our rivalry to be about just pure hatred Jet"

He didn't really like talking about any of it, and yes he felt like he'd been rambling to much. But it was true that saving the world, helping amy, fighting the zombots. That shit had a way of changing him, but he did lose hope for a long time. He gave up trying to be the best and wallowed in his own self pity. But that wasn't Sonic's fault he blamed that on his father. The man just could be the absolute worst--- but he was still the king of the Babylons. So there wasn't jack Jet could do about that.

He sighed reaching over to grab Sonic's shoulders and gave him a little bit of a shake. Hoping to just snap him out of his desperate rambling about everything.

" Hey.... i'm still pissed at what happened--- but i ain't pissed at you, so calm the fuck down... jeez yer worse then Storm when he messes up... a blubberin' babe..."

He shook his head and let Sonic go and walked across the deck of the airship to just stare out across the night sky. Maybe it was good they had this talk. Just airing out his feelings made him feel alot better.

" I ain't exactly given up... i did for awhile ya know, just--- after the whole ark of the cosmos fiasco... i just didn't think i had it in me anymore. Lost the Ark, lost to you, and well at least we stopped that shit from being worse. "

He had to admit to himself how bad that actually got. He tried to recover something precious to the Babylons and nearly destroyed everything in the process. But he wasn't sure that was his fault was it? No really that was Eggman he was just caught in the middle of it all.

" I ain't angry with you, not really i just guess i needed someone to blame. It was easy to blame you... yer kinda of an easy target "

He snorted softly and gave Sonic a glance, with a tilt of his head

" Eh, we both know you'd rather not be saving lives. Be honest with yerself, you'd give this hero shit up if you could. If not--- you got more issues then i do! "

He laughed maybe for the first time in a long time but his head dipped after a moment as he just didn't know what to say. He said alot of mean shit today, and over the last several years to.

" I won't apologize for all the shit i've said, ain't really in me to take back the things i've said. But i just needed you to know what ever beef we had in the past is just that---in the past. All i want from you now... is a chance to race you again. A chance to prove i've gotten better... a chance to take back what you took... "

His eyes closed as he got a bit somber in tone as he stared at his hands.

" That's it... no anger, no rage, no hate... just you and me, and the Wind... and of course--- MY VICTORY! "

He shot Sonic a cocky grin, a smile that he hadn't shown in years!

" Give me that and i'll consider us square... "

He took a deep breath and stared up at the night sky again. He hoped Sonic wouldn't let his words hurt more then they already had. He didn't want any of that to leave any lasting wounds. He was serious about leaving it all in the past. " Also, your wolf friend owes me a baguette "

[arrogantsoap]

Reviewing horror movies I watched for the first time this halloween season

(I'll keep updating this post as I watch more. Also I'm going for the classics here, if you have recommendations feel free to tell me)

- The Blair Witch Project: 7/10

I guess watching it in cinema when it came out must have been so good and I appreciate it for the originality. It's great at portraying the fear of being lost and haunted and shit and i wasn't bored for a single minute. But idk i guess knowing everything that happens in it before even watching it made the plot kinda... meh lol

- Friday the 13th (1980): 5/10

Had I not known who the killer was maybe it would've been surprising and I would've liked it better. But it's just y'know a product of its time and it's alright i just didn't like it very much, it's clumsy and funny at best and at its worst it makes murder seem boring. I have yet to watch the sequels because from what I've heard they're better.

- Evil dead (1981): 7/10

Really good! Love the plot, but most of the main characters are so dumb i just got angry sometimes. The practical effects got a good laugh out of me sometimes but overall it's really impressive. I had watched Evil Dead: Rise before this one. That one I found better because it improves on the mistakes of the original, but you have to appreciate the source material because it's already pretty fucking good.

- Sinister: 8/10

When it comes to the haunting subgenre this one really nails it. I've deducted a few points because it's pretty cliche, most horror movies with little kids tend to do the same thing and this one rarely escapes those tropes. But the ending was impressive and I liked it a lot. Plus Ethan Hawke playing a dad. Do I need to say more?

- Scream (1996): 10/10

Was it really supposed to be a horror movie and not a gay romcom? Anyway........ It's a classic and it deserves that title. Fucking awesome. Perfect characters. The main girl is not dumb. Great ending. I've watched it like five times in a week. Am not doing okay.

- Scream 2 and 3: 6/10

Okay I think it's pretty safe to assume from now on the series is hardly even trying to be a horror series. As comedies, these are great. The meta elements always get me. But they just lack the spiciness of the first one. Tbh would only recommend if you got time to spare otherwise you wouldn't be missing much.

- I know what you did last summer: 9/10

Exactly my cup of tea. It's a shame Julie is SO. FUCKING. STUPID. But I loooooove me some who done it horror. It's sort of a distant sibling of Scream so if you liked that you'll probably like this one too.

- Poltergeist (1982): 9/10

Really great. It's a classic for a reason. It nails everything right on the head. Love the metaphor behind it too. It's just not exactly my type of thing so yeah...

- Scream 4: 7/10

So far I found this to be the best sequel. The "reboot" thing works well, but Emma Roberts' performance annoys me deeply idk. Everything else was very entertaining idk. Still kinda mid comparing to the first one

- Signs: 10/10

I think a close second to horror/murder mystery/slasher to me are these apocalypse/end of the world type of movie. And this one is probably the best one I've watched so far. I don't even get scared watching movies anymore but this one made my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. Also the family drama makes me really emotional lol. This movie does everything right, loved it. Is it even horror? Idk, but I liked it a lot.

[rhyske]

Hiya! I am back! I was busy for a couple of days. I hope you are doing well!

I do agree that it doesn't seem like the characters have lives of their own save for a few that you can see interacting on screen. but there aren't really any hints of off-screen interactions which is such a missed opportunity. The approve disapprove system is really vague too, like the worst that could happen if you have a low approval rating with someone is that they are kinda cold or hostile towards your player character. I suppose it makes sense in the setting but still kinda weird.

some shit has happened in my playthrough so far… HAWKE, I loved seeing my girl again. but I knew I would have to make THAT choice, to be fair it wasn't that hard to leave stroud behind. AND THEY MENTIONED FENRIS AAAAA I almost cried. but yeah I couldn't do that to my girl or fen because they deserve the world. also Varric, I'd hate to make him sad.

I am romancing Solas and he do be making me mad. I already know he is bad… it's an old game and I got it spoiled at some point. but yeah I don't know what the context is or what his motivation is. I would guess it's something, something elves and their old empire glory days. but it's interesting being able to clearly see the hints of when he lets something slip etc. my brother told me, Solas wanted the anchor for himself(?) and he has posed with his hand outstretched like the inquisitor does, once toward the breach and once towards cole. idk if it's just a mage thing but alarm bells were going off in my head. I have some theories but I doubt I am anywhere near the right answer. The reason I am mad at him is because he literally never wants to talk to me, I've cycled through all of his dialogue and it makes me sad, even after doing some minor quests for him he says nothing, and he didn't show up at wicked grace TT_TT. I suppose it depends on how you play it but I feel like his romance is very fast and then there is nothing? ALSO, THE DREAM KISS WAS WILD, I did not expect that to happen so fast.

Cole's quest was a bit interesting when choosing between making him more like a person or a spirit. I tried both and I had a hard time choosing what outcome I wanted but then I decided to make him more like a person, it was kinda bittersweet in a way and also Varric became like a father to him which was sweet.

oh, learning Japanese is really cool but it's so difficult! I know some small phrases and such but I don't think I could learn to read their characters, I already struggle with spelling in my native language and English haha. it's amazing that you're learning it! do you have someone that you can practice speaking with? I know that really helped me when I was learning English when I was younger. earlier this week I was on an internship at a college I'm applying. for some reason there happens to be a few Japanese students at that college, its kinda in the middle of nowhere so I was a bit surprised hahah I wanted to say hi in Japanese but I was too shy to do it ^^' 💜

Oh welcome back!! I was wondering where you were and if you were okay (: I've been alright! Allergies has been giving me headaches the last week or so >:

Omg yeah for me it was between Alistair and Hawke, and legit. I romanced Alistair both times I've played Origins because I adore him...but I sent him into the Fade. Because I just. Imagining Fenris losing Hawke was absolutely devastating. I couldn't do it. Especially with Varric there, knowing he'd be watching his best friend basically disappear to their death, and having to be the one that lets Fenris know. I couldn't do that to my boy. Hawke and the Kirkwall Crew is my Dragon Age Normandy and I will do my best to make them happy and keep them that way.

I romanced Solas my first time around (Cullen my second) and I highly agree that it's very obvious Solas' romance was a last minute addition. It just...has no build up, and the seeming insta-love it shows is terrible. BUT, I will say, the potential in that romance and the absolute devastation it has has me invested. I won't continue with a Solas romanced world state but I will definitely be seeing how it impacts things in the second game. I can talk about Solas' character for hours, he's the most heart wrenching character I have seen in a game in a long time, and how that translates into a fascinating romance... If it had been done right.

Yeah, there are so many opportunities to have the characters interact with each other in Skyhold and they just...didn't bother with it. Mass Effect 3 they started doing that a bit (and I think it should've been a thing in all three games too, show a cohesive team dammit!) and it was amazing watching the characters talk to each other and share stories and inside jokes and whatnot. They have a life outside Shepard. Dragon Age 2 didn't have a hub, and I think they did an amazing job with the party banter to compensate.

I really liked Cole's quest! I don't remember a ton of it but I also remember not knowing which decision I wanted to do (and kinda feeling confused as to why it was up to me to begin with). I think I decided to go with him being more of a person too!

I don't have anyone to speak with ^^' I've decided to focus more on just reading comprehension, mainly because my main drive to learn the language is to read manga and play games that don't get a localization. I'm also hella shy, so just imagining trying to speak the language or instant message someone in the language gives me so much anxiety!

Oh that's so cool! What's the major? Haha, aaaw, I feel that! I remember, back in high school, we got some Korean transfer students and I so badly wanted to get to know them (I was in a big KPop phase then and trying to learn Korean), but I was way too shy to approach them! I ended up writing a letter in Korean with a help of a Korean penpal instead! I don't remember how I gave them the letter. I think through a friend? They gave me a CD of their favorite KPop band but that was the last I ever had any interaction with them cause I didn't know how to respond.

[imamxdel]

Sorom talks Daehyun into allowing the kids to meet his parents one more time. And this time, they're nicer, but still horrible towards him.

It had taken a lot of convincing. She'd even suggested they drive halfway up when she noticed how hard he was gripping the steering wheel, peeking in the mirror at the twins in their seats and contemplating turning around.

"At least one time," she'd said. "We'll see how they do. Like you said, they've spoken well of me. And they're your parents grandchildren..." Part of her also hoped that maybe seeing the twins would help soften his parents cold hearts, maybe take it a step closer in to getting them to turn nicer.

It started better off than any other interactions. Once they were let inside the massive home, Sorom felt comfortable enough handing over Hana to his mother and watch her coo over her first granddaughter. She wasn't surprised to see Daehyun still protectively holding their son against him.

"Such a pretty girl, aren't you? You take after your mother..." Sorom gently smiled at the interaction. She still didn't trust his mother, but could tell that she did seem to like Hana -- a small flicker of hope settled in the designer and touched the back of her husband's arm to get him to hand over Minjun. She'd promised should anything happen, this would be the last time his family would see the twins until they'd made amends.

His father held Minjun, Daehyun watching over like a hawk, and Sorom wanting to reach out and hold her husband's hand to calm him down. Her arm twitched, but didn't think it was appropriate for them yet.

"Strong little thing," his father said, holding Minjun securely enough but at a distance. "You'll make a fine lawyer."

"Both of them will," his mother added, bouncing Hana. "You're very lucky, Sorom. They're beautiful children. I hope your nanny has been caring for them and giving you a lot of rest. I'm sure you need the help since Daehyun isn't around the kids much," she huffed, giving her son a glare while still holding her granddaughter. "And that's honestly fine. If you needed, I can come by and help out. Better for Daehyun to stay working to support the home rather than raise them. It has to be exhausting raising twins on your own. He's better off staying far from them so the twins don't take after him."

Sorom swallowed. The mention of her children's careers already being picked for them confirmed her worst fears, and intensified as they went back to how they used to insult Daehyun. She wanted to defend them, show support to her husband, maybe finally put her foot down if she had the courage to do so and promise that this would be the last time they saw the twins.

Her mouth opened, but only a small squeak came out.

Thankfully Minjun started to cry as if he could sense his mother's tension. All Sorom needed to know about his father's parenting skills was how quick he was to hand Minjun over to Sorom to avoid having to deal with the cries.

"It's okay...shh, it's okay baby," she whispered, bouncing her son and kissing the top of his head until the cries began to wear down. Sorom nodded to Daehyun, as if giving him permission to take Hana away from his mother. When he went to reach out, his mother gasped and made a sound of disgust.

"What? You'll take my granddaughter right out of my arms when I'm holding her for the first time? Could you be more selfish, Daehyun!"

"Eomma!" Sorom snapped. It seemed to catch her attention, looking shocked at how loud it was and that she had the audacity to speak to her mother in law that way. "Daehyun has been a supportive  husband and an even better father. Please don't call him selfish."

@dencesin

[ravelights]

Izuku travels back in time fix it AU...with a twist.

11 pm idea that hit me one night (might have been done before but hey, here's my turn at the idea) Izuku is transported back into his Five year old self, and has the chance to do everything all over again; and makes things right this time...

But there are several problems getting in the way of saving everyone, namely that he's a quirkless five year old, that has none of his friends, allies or strength he had in his teens. All of them don't know he exist, plus half of them are toddlers. There's also a lot of stuff that won't happen until much later, not to mention he isn't sure how a lot of stuff came to be. He has no idea how Dabi survived were toga grew up, and Tomura has already killed his family four years prior and is living somewhere with All for One.

He knows won't get OFA until he's fifteen, and he's not even sure he might this time around. Because changing history means that All Might won't get injured and never have a reason to pass it on. Getting it when he's four would be impossible since he's young, and because people might not believe him when he say's he from the future, and can he blame them?

So after thinking over all the options, Izuku decides that if he can't be a hero, then he's going to be a villain...or at least pretend to be one so that he can stop the villains before they become huge threats. Basically Izuku decides to fight fire with fire, which he cranks up to 100 because he know a way to get a strong power that could go toe to toe with All for One and the person to go to get it from.

So Izuku sneaks into All for One doctors office and get's a hold of the replica of All for One quirk, with added hijinks. Now Izuku my have the replica nicely stored away in a glass tube, but he doesn't know how to acquire it... so he just decides to eat it because it worked the first time.

It's not meant to work like that, but for Izuku it does, after falling sick for like three days. Because eating a quirk wasn't the best idea. But who cares Izuku now got All for One, foresight on future events and his New villain career to kick off at the ripe old age of five.

And boy does he go off with a bang, by breaking Nagant out of Tartarus (Izuku needed a body guard, and Nagant was innocent), convincing hawks to run away from the HC (it was Nagant idea really) and recruiting the number two hero eldest son (Well Toya more recruited himself) among other things.

This unsurprisingly, this get's All for One's attention, but Izuku sure that he won't get caught because who would expect "quirkless five year old Deku" to the the next be up and coming villain? Apparently All for One, because the guy awkwardly walks in to his preschool one day, picks him up and is both quite shocked and amused to find this villain, that's been causing the Hero commission so much strife, is just a four year old boy.

Izuku thinks this might be the end, but instead of snipping of this bud before it grow, All for One decides he'll let Izuku keep doing what he's doing, because the whole things amusing. Except Izuku still "only a baby, not quite a big bad villain yet" so All for One will be "probably supervising" Izuku growth into villainy.

Izuku doesn't know weather to yell in joy at getting a one up on All for One or scream in anguish that now he's got the worst villain in the world making him his personal pet project.

Izuku decides to burn that bridge when he get's there.

I have more of this AU if anyone wants to know about it, but just baby toddler villain Izuku getting followed around by his older villain father, during his first errands. All dress up in his preschool uniform carry several books on "how to commit crimes and get away with it" well telling AFO to buzz off.

[lexxiie]

Could I get a headcanon of Hawks’ reaction to he and his mutual crush cuddling/falling asleep together for the first time? They’re aware of each other’s feelings, but can’t do anything due to ~The Commission.~ I imagine they’re on a mission or crashing at a friend’s or something like that, and need to tuck in for the night, and ‘Oh no, there’s only enough room/beds for one person, guess we gotta (totally non-romantically 😇😉) huddle up haha 👀. ‘Specially with those giant wings you have haha.’

Aweee, the "only one bed trope." Love it.

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Hawks | Keigo Takami x reader

Cuddling With Hawks

The flirting between Keigo and you was honestly concerning.

Anyone who doesn't know you could easily think that you are a couple.

Oh, you wish.

He was someone very important to you, and you knew he felt the same.

So, having him as your partner on missions was great.

You could definitely trust him with your life.

This mission in particular consisted of investigating a town that had lots of claims about it being the base for some criminals and their shady business.

The problem was that this town was the coldest place you had ever been at.

The moment you got there, you were already freezing.

Hawks didn't seem bothered, not with that huge coat of his.

But your suit wasn't that comfortable.

Thankfully, Keigo offered you his coat.

This guy was always hungry, which meant that the first thing he wanted to do when you arrived was looking for a restaurant.

You guys found one that happened to also be an inn, which was great because it was already getting late.

You trusted Keigo with booking the rooms, of course.

Big mistake.

As you arrived to the "rooms", you found yourself incredibly mad.

When you arrived to your room, this idiot followed you inside.

"Seriously, Keigo? Now? Go to your room and let me sleep."

"Oh, but this is my room too, dove."

There ain't no fucking way.

"You are kidding me, right?"

"Nope. The receptionist said there was only one room available."

"And you didn't think it was a relevant thing to tell me?"

"...No?"

Unbeliavable. What a jerk.

And the worst of it all, there wasn't even a couch.

You would have to share a bed.

You layed on the bed and turned your back at him, trying to ignore his presence.

Trying, because he would not stop moving.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Excuse me, my wings are not easy to accommodate, alright? Don't be so impatient, dove."

When he finally stopped moving and you were finally falling asleep, the cold started to get pretty bad.

You were trembling, no amount of blankets seemed to be enough.

Keigo must have felt your trembling because he suddenly woke up.

"Hey, you alright there?"

"Yeah, It's just the cold. It'll pass."

You went back to trying to sleep when you felt a warm body pressing against your back.

"What do you think you are doing, Keigo?"

"Your skin is freezing; I'm trying to lend you some of my warmth. On winter nights, birds snuggle together to keep themselves warm, It helps."

You wanted to push him away, really. But the warmth felt so good.

You left out a deep sigh that indicated defeat as you turned around to face him, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest.

You could feel his heart beating incredibly fast and his body flinch a bit because of the shock. He clearly wasn't expecting this.

He then relaxed and rested his chin on your head.

As you were finally falling asleep, you were able to feel his right wing covering your body as an additional blanket, his hand tracing shapes on your shoulder.

Tomorrow morning would definitely be interesting.

[nebulein]

The cat already changed his insta header to the senators 😭😭

"Shit." It just occurred to him.

"What," Dylan asks, stretched out on the couch next to him, not looking up from his doomscrolling on Twitter. At least some things never change.

Alex bites his lip. "I'm gonna have to do an Insta post, won't I?"

"Oh, yeah." Dylan looks irritatingly unbothered by the revelation. Alex kicks his ankle. At least that gets Dylan to look at him, even if he's making an outraged 'what was that for' face.

"I don't even know what to say!"

Sure, there'd been rumors for months, but it's the NHL. When weren't there rumors. Alex had somehow, stupidly, foolishly, always thought he'd be a part of whatever rebuild would be happening. Well. Looks like Kyle had had other plans. Maybe Alex should've put more stock in the increasingly pinched looks Jonny had been wearing after every meeting with the FO, but it's a moot point now.

"Oh, pssh, that's easy. I basically had a draft sitting ready in my notes since forever," Dylan waves him off, face already buried in his Twitter timeline again. "I wanna thank the team and the fans for an amazing time in Chicago," he drones on, voice entirely flat like he's reading this out, except Alex can see that all Dylan's got open right now is a video of Noodle. Apparently it's a super bones day. "And then you go on, like, super excited to come play in," Dylan frowns, faltering.

"Ottawa," Alex supplies.

"Ottawa," Dylan repeats, like it's the first time he's heard it, like Alex hasn't been freaking out about this trade for the last hour and a half.

"How's your own talks going?" Alex asks more to keep Dylan talking than anything. He still doesn't know how to feel about this damn trade. "And send me that draft, will ya?"

"Yeah, sure." Dylan nods absently, chewing on the drawstring of his hoodie, tapping away on his phone before throwing it to the side with a huff, finally looking at Alex. "You know how talks are going, man, there are no talks."

It used to make Alex' heart sink. Now, though, it's maybe not so bad. Alex won't be in Chicago anymore anyways, there's really no reason for Dylan to stay here any longer, either. Not when the Hawks never could see what they had in Dylan.

Alex's phone buzzes with a text. He pulls up the notes app, copies over what Dylan has sent him and starts editing to make it sound like himself. It's a good starting point. Alex very carefully doesn't think about what it means that Dylan has had this draft on his phone since who knows how long, ready to whip it out whenever. All it's missing is the new team name. He deletes the XXXs, fills it in with 'Senators' instead.

Dylan's an RFA, but with the Hawks not even offer sheeting him he's basically free to sign wherever.

"What does Morris say?"

Dylan sighs. "That we'll talk next week. But he asked if I had any, like, destinations in mind."

Dylan makes a face. Alex hums in agreement. He doesn't want to move, either. The mere idea of having to pack up this whole house, with Archie and Burt and Ralph, and move it all to a whole different country... it's a lot.

Still. Ottawa isn't the worst place in the world. And then Alex has an idea. It doesn't take him long to find it, there's always someone quick to do those jersey swaps and Alex only feels a little bad swiping the picture without asking. This is more important though.

By the time he's done he's got a post on Instagram thanking the Hawks for five wonderful years, likes count already going up as Alex watches, and a shiny new Insta bio and profile pic. At least this way Dylan will hopefully remember who Alex plays for now.

"How do you feel about moving to Canada?"

[keibea]

update on my dragon age II playthrough that no one asked for and no one cares about ( SPOILERS AHEAD )

WARNING: a lot of random ranting and probably a thousand spelling and grammar mistakes..sorry

first and foremost that bitch fenris, who I still love regardless since I'm obsessed with fixing people, left my hawke (and therefore me) after they had swex the asshole

secondly, meril pissed me off. i mean if even the keeper doesn't want you to fix the bloody mirror, the leader of your people with the want to restore as much knowledge as possible, you should probably leave the bloody mirror alone. now we're rivals because I did the smart thing fjdndjendnt

THE FADE SERIOUSLY I hated it in dao and I hated it here WHYYYYYYYYYY would you do that bloody faynriel at least he's with the tevinters now hopefully that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass...

STOP WITH THE SPIDERS I LIVE IN AUSTRALIA I DEAL WITH ENOUGH SPIDERS ALREADY YOU ASSHOLES

also the dragons are really small??? like not even dragonlings just straight dragons are tiny what's up with that

our mother is dead wtfrick like are you trying to kill off every single remember of my family on purpose orrrr???? and she died as a zombie thing? seriously?? Haven't we been through enough??? luckily Bethany is still alive, although she's being a bitch to us even tho we saved her life the asshat

ALISTAIR IS BACK BBY OH MY GOSH I LOVE HIM I GOT SO EXCITEDDDD EEEEEE. in mine he's part of the grey wardens because I think he'd make a sucky king so...i saw him and it was everything OH MY GOSH. still looked a bit crusty even with mods BUT ILL TAKE IT

so a slight qunari issue am i right 😅 I tried to be on their side because honestly everyone was being mean to them when they're just trying to live their lives and still they end up killing everyone like waaaaatttt

AND BLODDY Isabela like SERIOUSLY GIRL I'm your friend. when you steal a historically and religiously important relic from a someone you bet your ass they're gonna wanna kill you for it. And then the bitch RAN albeit she did come back BUT STILL COME ON ASSHOLE

I killed the arishok...Yeah well I didn't want him to take isabela no matter how much of a selfish asshole she was so he's dead now...I have a feeling that's going to seriously bite me in the ass at some point

also someone help please, do I side with the mages or Templars what did you guys do??? cause I understand both sides and I think they're both right in some areas and incredibly flawed in others, particularly the Templars but idkkkkk also Meredith is a bit shifty I don't like her.. (im at the start of act 3 so no spoilers please! just interpretations if that's okay? although tbh I already know what happens since I played inquisition first then went back to the older games)

and LOL for a long part of the time, when I met orsino I was panicked thinking OH MY GOSH is Irving dead?? NO I LOVE IRVING I ALSO SAVED HIS ASS and then I remembered that this is like a completely different place LOL

I also absolutely adore varric like what a sweetheart! My Hawke and him are like the best of friends and honestly it's the cutest shiz ever

other than that I forgave fenris and I think we're a thing now?? idk. mostly because he's hot and also because you know he's like this sweet broken toy that I just wanna love and care for although HE MAKES THE WORSE REMARKS AT THE WORST TIME like read the bloody room fenris GOSH

lastly, ive just met zevran AKA the love of my wardens life in my dao playthrough and what the actual frick frack did they do to my baby I'm PISSED

anyway that was all, just really needed to get it out there since I know LITTERALLY NO ONE ELSE who plays this incredible game. Any thoughts I'd be really interested to hear. If I offended you because of my thoughts on a character, I apologise, i meant no harm this is just my opinion on them :)))

[jellydishes]

The DA fandom is just fucking horrific when it comes to female characters. There's so much shit that male characters get a free pass for, and the ladies get dog piled on? The double standards are mind boggling! Wrt Bethany, I don't really like either path for her to be honest and I wish the Mages Collective had been an option as it would have allowed her to come into her own without the trauma of the Circle or the taint associated with being a Warden. What's your preferred path for her?

oh man anon, you've activated my trap card. asking me about lady characters AND bethany hawke? is it my birthday???

anyway this got into a huge tangent so i put it under the cut lol

okay so first off, i completely agree about how the fandom will treat female characters. naturally it's all about curating your own experience and following the people who inspire you and don't give you a migraine with their bad takes etc etc BUT,

take how the fandom treats anora, my personal pick for the throne in origins, as well as isabela, who is the heart of my heart, the star i set my feet to. anora is accused of quote unquote just generally being a bitch, with her worst quality often being cited as... being ambitious? wanting to be queen when the alternative is a completely untested person who doesn't even WANT to be king (and is absolutely set up to be a puppet king who will be manipulated by arl eamon), when she's spent her whole life training for the role? c'mon. C'MON.

and isabela is often and loudly jeered at for being open and unapologetic with her sex life, which is a whole other bucket of worms that makes me regret so very many things but comes back to sex shaming women (and also racism, obvs, that's quite the double whammy, i'm so sorry bela)

and as for bethany hawke? personally, i prefer the grey warden path for her. not because i think the grey wardens are so awesome etc etc, but because:

a) it's a damn sight better than being imprisoned in the circle, where abuse of all kind exists every single day and she was DEFINITELY lying about how good she had it in her letter and later in the game, because bethany as a character has been shown to sacrifice her own happiness for that of her friends and family and lying about the horrors of the circle would be included there

b) as a grey warden she would have the freedom (for the most part) to not be attacked and judged as a mage, and would be able to just BREATHE among the other grey wardens. they already know she's a mage and don't care? there's a group of people much larger than her friend group back in kirkwall who will protect her and help her grow, which brings me to my next part,

c) i LOVE the wardens for her precisely for the reason most everybody else doesn't, which is that she's pissed off and resentful in her letter to hawke. cause like. think about it. up until that point in the game, she's never really expressed being angry or opposed hawke in the slightest. similarly to my point above, she internalizes most of her negative emotions and bottles everything up until it's a five wine, but as a warden, the worst already happened and she's still here and kicking and getting to express herself???? so she decides, y'know? Fuck It. and tells her sibling off, And Good For Her

d) (also in the rp i have going with my partner off and on she Absolutely gets to explore being a baby bi and gets a crush on another lady warden named sehris but that's for another time y/y)

as for the mages collective, that's an option i've seen suggested only recently, but it's certainly an intriguing one! i haven't really even had the opportunity to put much thought into it, it bring that recent of a suggestion, but i am very much down for renegade bethany hawke helping other mages, her being a vocal part of the mage rebellion being another thing i yell about loud and often, but this post is way too long already lollll

[donnerpartyofone]

frustrating day. got up at 6 for an online yoga class, which was ok, but then i wanted to tack on a second, pre-recorded class, and it was just a mess.

i bought this low end tablet specifically for these streaming classes, thinking i "just needed something basic", and it has been the single worst electronics purchase of my life; apparently i'm still having a hard time with the fact that even if you "just need it for email and streaming video", you still have to pay premium prices for even that "basic" stuff to work, like, at all. so i had to spend half an hour wrestling with why i couldn't watch the video rental i had paid for, and when i finally straightened it out, it took me an extra half hour to get through the hour-long class because of uhNOTHER lesson i'm not learning. at the beginning of the pandemic i was lucky enough to find a great yoga teacher in someone i know, who has a fun, inviting, anti-perfectionistic style that really works for me. her online classes have been an absolute life-saver for my atrophying shelter-in-place body. i'm very grateful, there are so many teachers whose approach is very antiseptic and, like, Goop-y if you know what i mean. and then there's this woman who teaches these breathing exercises i really want to learn because i'm asthmatic...but she makes yoga into something so esoteric and impenetrable that i have to watch her like a hawk just to follow basic sequences that i'm already extremely familiar with.

language is the main problem. her vocabulary for physical movement is totally unrelated to any way that i have ever felt about having a human body. my regular teacher is so plain-spoken that i hardly even have to look at her to follow the class. then this lady is like...she uses a bunch of unusual words, interchangeably, so that there's a huge cognitive burden on me to keep interpreting what she means while i'm just trying to get some exercise.

like "float". she asks me to float my eyes open, float into a half-pushup, and float parts of my body that are simply not very float-y in my experience. sometimes when she means "float", she instead says "draw". like, "draw your hand to your right hip point" is something i understand when i read it, but when i'm mid-movement and i'm just trying to get the instruction as fast as possible so i don't have to stop and think about it, it's a lot better for me if you just say "put your hand on your hip". if "float" and "draw" are more or less the same thing, i can eventually get used to that, but then she adds in "release". if you say "release the knee to ground yourself down into the mat" or something, i can understand that you just mean "drop it". but then she's describing what is basically just the "hang ten" surfer hand sign, and the way she describes it is, "extend your thumb, relax your second, third, and fourth fingers, and point your pinky finger so that it RELEASES." i'm sorry, it...RELEASES? from what? i'm pointing straight out, i'm not letting anything go! is it supposed to shoot off the end of my hand into outer space? HOW IS THIS A RELEASE.

so with all these verbal shenanigans going on, i have to constantly pause, rewind, and study the video to confirm for myself that i already know what movements she's cuing, i just don't understand anything she says. in the end, i don't feel warmed up, i never break a sweat, my knees hurt from jumping in and out of poses to make sure i'm following her, and i basically just feel cold and dusty from rolling around on the floor. i HAVE to stop falling for this, there are definitely other ways of learning this woman's dumb old breathing exercises.

sometimes i can't understand her just because she speaks in this bizarre rhythm that makes it hard to grasp her meaning immediately. obviously i don't know if english is her first language, but she speaks it perfectly with no strong accent, so i'm convinced she's just being arbitrary for her own pleasure. i've done a thousand triangle poses at this point, but when she insists on telling me to draw myself into an extended "try-ANG-ehl", my brain goes, wait, WHAT? and i have to stop what i'm doing to double check that i know what she means. many ordinary movements that i don't normally have to think about will suddenly become something i've never heard of in this woman's mouth:

*i'm basically just standing up straight, feet flat, without slouching or clenching any muscles i don't need, and her instruction is, "Lift up out of the kneecaps."

*from a basic runner's lunge, i'm supposed to "Draw the knee higher so the crown of the head extends forward." and in another example of two movements i don't think are related:

*in a similar lunge-like pose, she wants me to "Pick up through the right kneecap to feel the right thigh engaging."

*or i have to sit up straight so i have plenty of room to take a deep breath, but i'm told to "Hold the breath at the top of the long spine."

i'm sure that a lot of this comes from super insidery instructor training language that some teachers realize isn't exactly right for just general public folks taking classes. some people just really get off on obscurity and occultism, and they enjoy things more if they can make everything sound like a big secret. but when i'm just trying to follow a series of movements to get a little exercise, saying "stretch your arms up over your head" is a lot more useful than saying, ahem, "lift the hands toward the cooling rays of the moon." (i'm pretty sure this class has always taken place at 8:30am, but anyway) that's like, kind of a lot for my brain to interpret on the way to just reaching up. and it doesn't help when on the third round, the teacher swaps out the moon for the sun, and i have to go, wait, is this DIFFERENT now? ...oh no, it's the same, she just forgot what she was talking about.

anyway. i have so much shit to do right now, basically all of which i consider a privilege and i can't wait to be able to talk about it in more detail, but i always feel like i'm just never getting enough done. like i literally have to read a novel for one project, but when i spend a couple hours doing that, i feel like i'm goofing off just because i'm enjoying it, and i think it should feel harder. and then i wonder why i didn't divide up some of that time among the other things i need to be reading. or i get through almost half of this person's phd thesis, which i need to discuss with someone tonight, and i feel like i should have spent SOME of that time reading a couple other theses or at least making a list of future documents to discuss. if i get some writing done for once, i'm immediately embarrassed by all the writing i DIDN'T do ANY of, for other projects. and i mean i'm not some perfect, prissy little workaholic; i tend to work in sustained sprints until i'm exhausted, and then i'm immobilized for a certain number of days (or weeks or months), or i have some mental health episode and i just can't do shit until it runs its course. i'm not just "being hard on myself" (ugh), i definitely invite criticism of my work habits. but, i can go overboard with anything, obviously.

anyway. in a couple hours i have to go to some unfamiliar bar, to get to know a new colleague who is going to be a substantial part of my life from now until [TBD], because of a job i've been given basically on faith and out of desperation (i know this factually), for which i am hilariously underqualified except that i'm enthusiastic and responsible, and i'm just feeling very unfocused and incomplete and like i have nothing to say for myself. i'm gonna go there early, get established, tamp down my neurotic personality with a couple of drinks, read a conspicuously sleazy-looking book so people leave me alone, and pretend not to be a waste of this person's time when they show up! at least i have a plan.