#anyway idk how to make this guy more depressed bc he was actually trying to save them and failing.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[talentforlying]

LET ME ASSIGN YOU AN AESTHETIC WORD.

CAFUNÉ. cafuné means running your fingers through someone's- perhaps a lover, hair. it's such an intimate, affectionate way of showing love. if you got this result, you're a romantic at heart; very sweet, delicate, precious wandering soul. aren't you scared of your heart being too big for your body? somehow, you remind me of that pretty coral pink that bleeds into a soft indigo when the sun is slowly setting.

what i'd like to tell you is that we can't save everyone, and that's okay. you're doing your best, and it's enough.

tagged by: @danversiism!! <3 tagging: you!!

[dirt-juice]

.

[k4marina]

guesss who’s back to rantttttt 🙈

adding into this, i feel that simon wearing his mask (with the diy skull and the printed one) would do the complete opposite of being a ghost like literally. technically, simon riley is dead. he died in a fire with his family and the last thing he needs or wants is attention.

i mean can u imagine the rumors going around?

“that bloke who wears that skull mask? he’s bare weird man” (idek if that proper slang, pls don’t kill me).

i also feel like it would also bring unwanted people from his work to his home (or the little hole he lives in. i mean let’s be honest, it’s pretty fkn bare). there aren’t many people who are british, have a gravely voice, AND wear a skull mask. i mean that’s an easy target right there.

i don’t think that simon would introduce himself in a civilian setting as “ghost”. if a guy came up to me and said “call me ghost” i’d fkn laugh in his face and call him a bozo.

why would he introduce himself with his callsign if he isn’t in the “work” environment???? again that’s just unwanted attention.

i 100% believe that simon and the rest of the 141 are the types to have a work life and a civilian life. he wouldn’t want to bring any of the shit he has to go through at work back to his hole home.

as much as he hates being alone back in manchester, he still needs it. he needs a break from all of the war he has to go through.

ghost and simon are two different entities with two different lives and just because simon riley is dead on paper doesn’t mean he’s actually gone.

simon knows that if he brings ghost back home he’s only hurting himself and falling into a bottomless pit.

that’s why he wouldn’t wear the mask in public or anytime he’s on leave (unless it’s his home and there has to be a very specific reason why), and that’s why he wouldn’t walk around telling people his callsign.

unless the fic is taking place on base with a soldier!reader, there is no actual reason why simon would wear the mask and go by ghost.

ghost & mask = work

simon & and bare face = home or just civilian life.

there’s no reason why he would want to mix work and civilian life together.

and if people can say that he’s insecure about his face and don’t want to show it off, but i’d have to disagree. i mean did u hear him when he was talking with soap?

bro was 100% smiling like a cocky little shit when he said “quiet the opposite”. this mfer knows that he’s hot and enjoys it. in my delulu mind, i think simon enjoys whatever scars are on his face because he thinks they make him more hotter (i also don’t think he has that many scars on his face bc i think it’s one of the hardest places to attack idk).

that’s still not to say that he won’t get the usual waves of depression and the usual stares from people for his beauty and scars, but he’d still take it over the weird looks when he gets when he wears the mask.

technically speaking, no matter how attractive, it’s harder to remember someone with a pretty face and accurately described it than remember a mask and describe it, which i think simon understands completely.

someone also brought up the cut scene before the “no russian” one of where simons and the 141 are in the bar and he’s wearing the mask.

i have to agree with the person who said this that people saw that and took it face value that he wears the mask outside. not everything is lore, or is it 100% cannon. sometimes some things are for shits and giggles.

if you’ve read it this far i just wanna let y’all’s know i’m not trying to be mean. i’m just ranting. i’m all for creative freedom and wanting ppl to write whatever they want, i just want it to make sense yk? and if i came off bitch my bad bro.

anyways imma go sleep or smt. caio ;)

[fuzzystudios]

yk when I started reading toa I was kinda disappointed at the lack of power that apollo / lester had, bc pjo and hoo had their main characters be basically op, and this is literally a (former) god. apollo in tho made me cringe and reading his perspective was like looking at pills in an orange prescription bottle. but he was the whiny teenager that felt like an out-of-depth teenager more than the actually lived for years-in-teen-numbers, because they were more heroes and soldiers than teens, like they were supposed to be. he is simultaneously whiny child and responsible adult.

the moment I really latched onto him was when he basically dropped everything and tried to dive into the forest to go save his kids. bro wasn’t actually a selfish idiot like he kept making himself look like. bro was an emotionally constipated loving loser (affectionate) and loveable. he would risk the wrath of styx to save these kids. positively skrunkly

oh and his power! look guys the former protagonists always had some power to back them up, some good strength. this guy? first not demigod protagonist and he goes from straight up zero to launching a guy to the clouds with his bare hands. and tfw he uses his voiceTM. BEGONE SNAKE! and he acts so pathetic lol and if you look through whatever sunglasses he’s wearing and you look at the things from 3rd person pov dude what is he doing. he just flew off a road driving a car, and puts himself in front of the gremlin child to face one of those creepy zombie things that scream FOOD!!. bro straight up stabbed himself. bro sings the most heart wrenching song that even giant ants that don’t even understand what he’s saying get the point to the extent that they go catatonic with depression.

and holy cheez-its what kind of pain tolerance does this guy have?? dude??? you fell from the literal sky above the Empire State Building which like literal greek heaven (ouch) straight into a dumpster and then gets beat into unconsciousness by a pair of thugs under Nero like??? and with broken ribs, injured nose, hurt shoulder, etc. he walks up the stairs, runs through the woods insane. dude is literally insane. he gets flayed alive, forgets his other half, trapped in place by molten chains all at once and still trying trying to walk wth like this guy’s pain tolerance is beyond ouranos. idk how he does it I can’t even tolerate a hot summer day.

bro gives advice to a lost gremlin child who betrayed him anyway, helps her defeat her abuser the way he never could. and he grew, like everyone around him, to something better, something hopeful. “you’ve changed” heck yeah!! we love to see it

and humor?? like random mentions of things no one else in pjo would give you like playing the zither at 2am, godly toilet seat, ares roundhouse kick, waking up in Argentina. I love that they’re so offhand but they’re so funny and random

the haiku. they’re hilarious, works of art.

the characters. Chiron. Chiara. Damien. Austin. Kayla. Cecil. will. nico. Rachel. Lavinia. emmie. Josephine. heck even Commodus. lityerses. Abelard. Diana. frank. Jason. piper. the trogs. lu. reyna omg. meg. aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA I love them so much! just how they fit in with his own journey of self and how they grow with him, like a garden, like an orchestra building its crescendo together, in unity. little things like reading frank’s admiration of apollo first in hoo, and now we get apollo’s side of it, and he’s so cute. Reyna’s whole journey of “finding the one who will heal her heart”. (gods I loved that thank you rick.) and will’s “dad!” and making apollo literally weep and meg: “the beast is dead. I killed it.” and taps her head and I'm just so proud of them.

“YOU ARE NO GOD!” he isn’t the same god who fell to earth in the winter. he likely won’t be ever the same ever again. ‘cause he’s gonna work to being better. he’s saving the world, but he’s also having a journey of his own self, rediscovering himself, building onto himself like everyone else, they’re all gonna be a better version of themselves.

k one problem: not enough content. I am starved for content. please feed pet. ty

[soullust]

dead poets and pets headcanons! their childhood/family pets, favourite animals, and what pets i think they would actually 'end up' with

neil perry

have you seen thomas perry? have you heard him speak? neil did not have a childhood pet. i think he really wanted a dog as a kid, but after a while of his father refusing, he would resort to asking for a fish or a hamster. his father's answer did not change absolutely adores the welton dog and always tries to sneak him treats and headpats and hugs and kisses and- he's just full of love yk he also seems like a fan of rodents? like guinea pig, hamsters and such,, he absolutely gets a dog after welton [more in todd's section]

todd anderson

the andersons bought jeffrey a cat for his fourteenth birthday it's a korat, his name is benjamin and he's a huge jerk -to everyone but todd. so it's more of todd's cat than anyone else's. todd loves cats overall, he enjoys how they just are, and finds their presence calming. once he moves out he takes benjamin with him and literally no one tries to fight him on this. also i think later in life he and neil would get a therapy dog to help todd deal with his anxiety, and neil with his trauma/depression. every once in a while one of the poets might feel down too, and todd's more than happy to let them 'borrow' the dog i feel like he would find arachnids fun, but his parents find them gross, and neil's is afrad of them, so he wouldn't ever have one

knox overstreet

idk why, but overstreets just feel like a crusty white dog named coco family. also his younger sisters have a rabbit! also i think him and charlie both used to do horseback riding as kids, as some sort of summer extracurricular?? anyways, yes, his family bought him a horse,, which is a totally standard thing to buy your child. he's not all that into horseback riding anymore and would let his siblings have the horse knox definitely loves dogs, and would have a golden retriver methinks just has that vibe

charlie dalton

his family have a bengal cat which he loves. he manhandles the shit out of that bastard and the cat doesn't really mind. the cat's name is orion, but really? it's Bastard. also his family owns horses and there's at least one that charlie dumbass-proofed (basically got it used to tolerating him as he does increasingly dangerous things around it) (idk if that's actually possible, i don't know anything about horses other than they look kinda cool) (idk why but the visual of charlie riding a horse like a skateboard cannot escape my mind i simply had to share). definitely a dog person, though he doesn't strike me as a guy that would actually have a dog? at least just on his own, he could have one with someone (a bf maybe? a bf named steven meeks even?,) he loves dogs, but having a whole creature depending solely on him is not a good idea.

gerard pitts

dog person. obviously he just seems like a guy that would enjoy going on long runs it's bc he's tall with long legs and what can make a run better? a dog he had a childhood dog that was already pretty old when he was born.. anyways! they got a him a german shorthair to celebrate him graduating middle school totally not bc he was heartbroken he probably wouldn't try and relocate the dog once he moves out just to not stress him out he might get a turtle though, he looks like a turtle guy

steven meeks

meeks' family has a miniature poodle. she's very well trained and steven deff treats her very politely. like- 'hello, would you like a treat, ma'am? of course, just do a spin first please?,, there you go, thank you :)' <- no babytalk or anything like that, he seems like a guy who just talks to animals like they're human all the time overall, but he's extra polite to her he feels like a,, calm dog person. like he enjoys their energy and likes having an excitible furry friend, but doesn't run around them or like match their general chaoticness also i feel he might get a gecko <3 just a lil' guy to sit on his shoulder while he studies/works <3

richard cameron

my lifelong hc for cameron's family is that he has some grandparents and cousins living on a farm, that he spends half of every summer with, doing typical farm things,, like caring for farm animals,, like cows,, and with that comes 'cow person' cameron headcanon he has his favourite in the herd for sure that he's just best friends with :) she has huge eyes and she listens to him rant, she's the best obviously one cannot simply own a cow as a pet, and since they're his favs he would probably opt out to not have any pets. scratch that i just thought about him having a chicken as a pet and am endlessly amused by it. he has a pet chicken

[n3hmof1sh]

this is embarrassing to ask but do u wanna be friends?

Are we not already friends?? How dare you insinuate I have not thought of us as besties this entire time. That is extremely humiliating and I expect an apology with begging and tears. /j

Hahahahaha lmaoooooo you like Hero, I like Hero, we're soooo besties nowwwww ahahahahhaah deal with my cringey high ass NOW.

Here's a rant on Hero I did like an hour ago or smth

Hero gives me so much gender envy like I wanna be him

I think thats the main reason why I like him but I also really like the expressions he makes becahde they feel really similar to mine and lile even when he's hiding them behind some happiii smileyyy face it feels like how i hide mine behind that as well so Tahts one reason or is taht two idk but anyway his clothes are adorable i want his clotges a lot and i also am definitely gonna buy those pyjamas because they look so comfy like I get why he's wearin them 24/7 but obviously I'd get socks with them or maybe just wear my crocs so I don't get my feet dirty and ruin the pjs oh oh!! And I'd definitely try and get it washed more often than my other clothes so I can wear it and be comfy and Heroooooooo!!!! :D his hair is honestly so real and goofy like this guys hair is so messy like mine and I wanna try and get his hairstyle after I transition bc it looks rlly cool but I think I'll actually go with Basil's but maybe I'll get Hero's bangs? Yeah!!! I love his personality as well!! It's so meee!! He's just so calm all the time but also depressed and caring and kind and loveable and huggable and pretty and handsome af like I aspire to be like him and I wanna bring about the same energy and vibes he has I even have a Mari friend and she's legitimately Mari but without piano!! She even has a little brother!!! Anyways yeah!! Me and her are so Mari and Hero and I'm just rlly happy at that bc she's the best friend ever and makes me rlly wanna be more like Hero do we can be the perfect duo and then everyone will be jealous hahahahaha!!!!! >:D

[mrzombielover]

Hi! Idk if you take requests or even like, emergency requests but, it's obviously Christmas time and I'm feeling really down bc I'm spending it alone. I was wondering if you could write something with Ghost and König's friend calling them and asking them if they could spend the holiday together? Up to you if you wanna make it friends to lovers kinda thing but honestly anything fluff and sweet is more than enough. Thank you so much, and Merry Christmas!

hii i normally don’t take emergency requests (cause i’m not good at themsbahhd) but this prompt is cute. hope headcanon format is okay, that’s the fastest way i could get this out

sorry if this sucks, i wrote it really quickly and didn’t edit it lol

hope your christmas gets better anon :,(

most people are thrilled to get time off for christmas. it’s heartwarming to see dads reunite with their kids during the season, when the majority of people get time off. ordinarily, around this time of year, you’d drown yourself in work and missions to try and take your mind off it, but captain price insisted you guys get this time off to go home and relax. honestly though, you were dreading going back home. it just depresses you.

at the airport, boarding was about to begin, and you found yourself fighting tears. everyone around you seemed to be waiting anxiously, wanting nothing more than to get to your destination. as the minutes went on, you were filled with more and more dread.

at the very last minute, just as they were about to call your group, you found yourself running away from the gate, phone in hand, thinking of anyone to call so last minute.

- simon “ghost” riley

ghost was similar to you in that he also dislikes the holiday season. he’s got no one to celebrate with and nothing but bad memories of it.

when he picked up your call, he told you he hadn’t left the base, and didn’t really plan to soon.

at first he was apprehensive, but he quickly found that he really likes having you on base with him. there were some christmas decorations, but the base was almost entirely empty.

for the first time, ghost was enjoying his holiday break, and quickly got used to your presence.

you guys binge movies in the rec room to pass the time, make a ton of food from whatever’s left in the kitchen, and once you’ve exhausted everything else, you even get a little work and cleaning done.

it’s been a really nice distraction having eachother around. you don’t need to explain anything to eachother, simon will silently accept and comfort you.

the cold pushes you guys together, you’ll cheekily ask to stay in his room to “warm up”, and spoon all night. cuddling while watching movies and forcing him to try your hot cocoa.

some days pass, and even though you didn’t really talk about christmas with him, he got you a gift anyway. it would be something small but sentimental, probably from a mission you were both on or the country where you met. a souvenir or piece of jewelry, or something useful, like a watch. he thinks he isn’t great at giving gifts, but it’s the thought he puts into them that makes it special.

just a few days until you’ve got to go back to work, and you’ve enjoyed an actual relaxing winter holiday. before you go, he’ll catch up to say goodbye, before realizing you’re under the mistletoe. he’ll plant a gentle, almost cautious kiss to your soft lips, letting his hands cup your face, as if begging you not to go. the two of you agree to do this every year.

- könig

(his family life is p much all my headcanon btw)

whenever he has the chance, könig goes back to austria over breaks. he becomes incredibly homesick, especially around the holidays, and when you called, he was ecstatic to show you his beautiful home and share traditions with you.

it made him so happy when you asked to spend time with him, and he was so glad you felt comfortable enough to open up to him about how hard the holidays are for you. he silently vowed to change that for you.

he immediately showed you all his favorite local restaurants and cafes, food he’d been craving so bad during the months he was deployed. you guys did typical touristy stuff along with local traditions and experiences.

he insisted you have dinner at his parents house for christmas, and helped you pick out last minute gifts. horrible at wrapping presents though, that was all you.

his parents are so nice, especially his mom, even though she teased könig about finally bringing a partner home. you made biscuits with her, but she wouldn’t let you help clean, insisting that you were a guest.

after you thank him for making this your best christmas, he’ll tell you how great it was to have you here, and comment on how you should make it a tradition. with christmas lights in the background and snow flurrying around you, you’ll finally make it official.

[boypussydilf]

I'm going to throw you a curve ball and say Sherly and that one guy whose name I don't remember who you ship him with (I think it's Soseki?)

idont know how to say this without unintentionally sounding mean but this is the second funniest ask ive ever gotten. (i was going to say funniest, but i cant lie even for comedic purposes- the funniest ask ive ever gotten was “shouldve KNOWN an AKESHU shipper would RIP MY THROAT OUT IN PUBLIC for mentioning shusumi”) i got curious and looked at all the relationship tags for dgs on ao3 until the site wouldnt let me anymore and i can almost conclusively say tht no one on this earth ships sherlock and souseki, which, to be honest, is kind of a surprise. on my journey i learned just how dire the state of the dgs ao3 relationship tags really are. i hadnt looked that hard, and i had thought, “oh, woe is me, only about 200 of these are homumiko” There are less than 30 with the susahao tag. theres like, a Small Handful of fics with kazuma interacting w iris or yuujin. This is. This is awful. Someone needs to fix this. What’s wrong with you people? You could have filled this website with one hundred Kazuma Asougi Gets Forcibly Absorbed Into The Greatest Family fics and you’re still asobaroing away? Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Anyway it’s completely understandable to mix up souseki and mikotoba when you havent seen a ton of them they do both . have mustaches. thank you for thr ask and also for always calling him Sherly bc its cute here we go

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

*putsmy head in my hands* they have like 2 hours of screentime interacting its hard to describe a dynamic beyond “God they are so mean to each other”. its ok though. Its ok. the concept is very clear honestly. World’s Most Hyperactive and Completely Insane Man & Completely Normal Guy Who Goes Along With It. Oh My God They Were Roommates. lets see. serious notes. they trust each other completely and implicitly (mikotoba has to find a good home for The Baby He Was GOING To Raise But CAN’T and asks sherlock and he IMMEDIATELY agrees On The Spot my god ……) look . what do u call devotion if not saying “our home” about a place youve been away from longer than u ever lived at and thought youd never even see again & acting like you were never separated in the first place. Unreal. unreal.

anyway the fact of the matter is theyre literally just another variation on the Holmes & Watson concept go read an acd sherlock holmes story and imagine if they were ace attorney characters and idk i think youd more or less have it

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

*pulls out my giant conspiracy board and 90% of it is just screenshots of fanfic The Legendary Pair by Meowzy on AO3* IF YOU LOOK AT IT. THE NOT-REALLY-INDICATED-BY-CANON BUT MORE FUN AND COOL TO ME VERSION OF IT. it makes this A Necessary Relationship. sherlock is. smart in Some places. definitely observant. But has. 0 common sense. you would think hes never been to this planet before with his apparent complete lack of frame of reference for what is or is not plausible or likely. there is too much shit going on in his brain for him to figure out which ideas are Actually Likely without taking like 2 days to work it out. Give him someone who actually has common sense and can crossreference What Sherlock Has Actually Noticed And Figured Out with What Actual Human Beings Generally Would Do.

OHGOD MAYBE I CAN TRY TO ELABORATE IN A MORE SERIOUS TONE ON MY FUCKING “YUUJIN MIKOTOBA SILLY ARC” POST. GOD. what im attempting to drive at is thinking abt . the idea proposed of 16-years-ago sherlock being more of a prickly little bitch and, Much More Importantly, mikotoba going to britain to try and escape the Grief Of Losing His Wife & subsequent Depression That Made Him Unfit To Take Care Of His Baby . and then theyre . again, worlds most hyperactive and completely insane man, and, again, GUY WHO TAP DANCES DURINVG INVESTIGATIONS ?!!!!?!???????????

basically fuck you *gives you by chance a fundamentally life altering friendship right when you need it*

Anyway i dont think theyre that different in my head than in canon but its hard to say.

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

i like it because i think they are neat. i like it bc i love families and fuck dude they sure do have one. i like it bc i am a dgs sherlock holmes kinnie and this drives my behavior,

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

*SCREAMS* BESTIES. anyway,

sorry for once again saying serious concepts in the dumbest fucking ways possible but Pov u are yuujin mikotoba age 26 leaving ur home to try and run away from the deepest pain of ur life & deciding not to stick with ur very close friends uve known for quite a while as you do so? For some reason? AND IT WORKS ???????????? in some part bc of this weirdo freak u moved in with impulsively who keeps almost blowing the fucking house up?

This is basically something i already said in this post earlier and i STILL . cant think of an actual good way to say it. I guess just . as many people on this blog may have noticed. me wh. me when stories involve the way positive connections with others help people <3

Also basically the only 2 reactions sherlock seems to invoke in people are “this guys insufferable” and “this guys insufferable but i also admire him” - god the trajectory of this train of thought just changed drastically im laughing so hard Bear with me . mikotoba is of course in th second camp bc thats where all sherlocks Positive relationships are. this is known to us. see: thr dialogue where hes like “Well your methods are unusual but ive always been willing to try them :)” (and then sherlock yells at him for being stupid.) anyway thats wonderful and its also Wonderful. mikotoba shortly after meeting sherlock watching this man rip up a handful of grass an d just eat it and then solve an entire mystery and mikotoba has to work out if this guys a genius or insane. He quickly realizes it is both. Anyway i guess to yuujin mikotoba sherlock holmes is his dear friend and partner & also the guy who cursed him to occasionally think “i DO wonder what that grass tastes like” at inopportune times

I don’t know WHAT the fuck i just rambled about for like ten minutes. So anyhow. sherlock describes mikotoba as “the only person i could truly call a friend” so shoutout to this friendless man i guess . no but literally hes a little weirdo freak and people dont tend to. like him. societal perceptions of ND people are not conducive to sherlock holmes having close friends . (Also he might not be. or might at some point not have been. particularly social in the first place - But this is my extrapolation based on acd canon and nothing in dgs at all so it cant be counted as anything other than my female hysteria.) and like. epic win for him finding someone who can Tolerate Him Enough To Live With Him and not just that but like . Actually Likes Him. Actually Likes Being Around Him And Would Like To Be His Friend. Congrats! also a win 4 him having like, a normal human being around. who can keep track of him and yknow. Help him remember important things. make sure he actually sleeps and eats instead of spending 42 hours straight trying to make The Sequel To Toasters (It’s Also A Juicer!)

favorite interaction they have in canon

oh,my god you know the thing is theres not a Lot of them but what there is is Really Good Actually.

on one hand we have the shit from the legendary pair scene like “:/ only JAPANESE mice go Chu. make a RUSSIAN mouse noise” or “YOUR BIRTHDAY? THATS FUNNY BC AS OF TODAY YOURE DEAD TO ME :D” “measured as always.” On the other hand we have the part from the scene after the last trial where sherlock thanks mikotoba for leaving iris in his care.

Basically i dont know how to decide. im going to say the Other part of the scene after the last trial where sherlock is excitedly telling mikotoba a story about something he did. With mikotoba. like a day before. and mikotoba lets him get through thr whole fucking thing before going Yeah i was. i was there.

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

OH GOD I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY. what is there to say beyond the Default List Of Every Homumiko Fans Shared Interests. its all been done. “Remember That Time They Raised A Baby Together For A Month”; “Have You Heard Of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Adventures of Sherlock Holmes? Great Here’s My Adaptation-“; “Put That Beast (Sherlock) In Japan LOL”. i will say that like. i dont remember where but theres some tiny bit of optional dialogue where iris says that sherlock playing the violin was a detail she wrote into the stories for fun and then after that he felt obligated to actually learn. i think a lot of people dont know this or dont use this. which is fine its a tiny random one off line i wouldnt even be able to track down. and a lot of people have the order of events go sherlock has violin -> mikotoba learns to tap dance, Look another musical thing matchy matchy :) . which again is FINE. BUT. isnt the other order of events - the order that it’s only reasonable to assume is canon - more fun ? Sherlock goes HEY GUESS WHAT I LEARNED VIOLIN NOW WE CAN MAKE MUSIC TOGETHER. He has not seen mikotoba in person in 9 years

thats the end of the post thank you i like the dads

[nathank77]

7/11/24

8:11 p.m Edited/Added to Significantly I'm ranting bc dual relationship is a trigger for me bc maybe just maybe despite everything something similar may be the reason I didn't kill myself.

It actually really bothers me that Erin lost her license. She met with me anyways bc she's a good person.

Why did she lose her license? Bc she was a good person. That's the fucked part. She opened up her home to a fucking client who was homeless. She cared too much. And this guy lived there for free and her one major mistake was she billed insurance twice when he kept her up until 2 a.m talking about his problems.

She's such a good person. She's always cared too much. Yea she had a dual relationship but when you get down to it, she cared so much that she wouldn't let that guy be homeless and then the fuck reported her and she lost her license.

She's a fucking great therapist. Emdr certified. Hypnosis certified. She's accepting of everyone. She'd kind, and she doesn't fucking fly away when you're over complicated.

When I saw her 7 years ago I was fucking easy just had ocd. She got me on disability. She got my loans forgiven. She got my loans forgiven by writing a letter when I wasn't even her client I messaged her 3 years later asking her to write a letter and she did it, and just sent it to me.

Then I came to her in October 2023, delusional and a fucking mess and she didn't leave me. She's still willing to meet sometimes. I'm going to meet with her monday and even if she cancels I can't blame her but I tried to talk more like friends. Connecting instead of 100% overloading her with my shit cause I picked Erin for a reason in October besides for Elise who yea I'm not going into how badly I want to know her personally- Erin was the only therapist I ever met who was fucking genuine. A real fucking human. Besides for Elise.

I'm upset for her. She should have never lost her license. The board took her license away for giving a homeless client a home.

99.99% of the field are cardboard cut outs, 2 dimensional people who only do it for money and couldn't care about you at all.

Erin opened her home up to this guy saving him from being fucking homeless and he fucked her over.

It's fucking upsetting to me bc I've met with over 50 people who are a therapist as a profession and only 2 of those PEOPLE actually cared. Really cared. Deeply.

She cared too much and the guy fucked her over. And now all of her old clients are fucked and have to find someone who isn't a automated bot. It's depressing af. Cause it's hard to find another human sitting in the "power" chair. You meet people at their jobs making a living. Some who have no concept of what living with mental illness is really like.

And this guy she helped and the board robbed the mental health field from a person who actually gives a fuck.

I'm going to try to shift gears with her and be friends. It's going to take me some time to entirety shift gears and be able to talk things out but also not make it all about me. I can't blame her if she eventually falls off the face of the earth during this adjustment period but:

Why did she have to lose her license for caring too much? I've had so many therapists look at me like I'm a lost fucking cause and they would have never helped me. Too many looked at me with the look of, "I don't get paid enough to deal with you."

I can think of two people who would go above and beyond. And I say people for a reason. Real genuine people.

She didn't fucking deserve it. She put good out in the world. Idk what the guy was thinking to report someone who would take you off the street. I get it's a dual relationship but it wasn't sexual. She provided him with shelter. And even if it was sexual it's not really a power dynamic why?

- unless you lie and bill my anthem insurnace multiple times over the weekly limit and it is causing me to receive a bill (guy was on husky) then youre not abusing your "power."

- if you're not billing my insurnace when we have sex it isn't a power relationship..

- if you're not exchanging sex for services it's not a power relationship.

-I'm pretty positive there was no sex but I'm just saying that even if there was there are few circumstances inwhich a therapist abuses her "power."

The only power a therapist has is this:

1) "it's not a good fit."

2) and they can lie and bill you for something that didn't happen but I mean that's something you can prove.

3) they can say you're not mentally competent/send you to a psych ward.

I'm upset for her. I don't think it's fair. She's still meeting with some of her clients bc she's a good person.

Dual relationship really equal this= I cared too much bc I'm a human being.

- I'd never report someone for a dual relationship with me. Christ me and Erin have been fb friends the entire time. I could have deleted her but I chose not to.

Why would I report someone for helping me?

Why would I report someone for caring too much?

- You either connect person to person or you're an automated bot. That's the thing. You either care or you look at people as money.

- a dual relationship really does equal in almost every circumstances= two humans connecting and the one that was in "power" caring too much.

-a dual relationship if sex for services wasn't involved is 1000% I cared too much. God forbid someone actually give a fuck. God forbid a therapist cared about you and sometimes you need that extra care.

Elise saved my life. Was it a dual relationship? Not really. However going above and beyond can save someone's life. Even if she never talked to me again I'd never report her. Even if she reached out to me and said I'm uncomfortable knowing you bc of your feelings. I'd never hurt her. Why? Cause she actually cared deeply about me and the genuine love cause it was love, not romantic but love like you love another human being is what has saved me. I'm not dead bc of Elise.

The phrase dual relationship to me grinds my gears bc people connect. It's person to person and sometimes the connection isn't forever much like an ex or an old best friend but what you shared was important and may have been critical enough to save your life.

I'm really genuinely upset about it. Dual relationship is really another phrase for two human being actually caring about eachother. And in a safe space like a therapeutic relationship, when the "client" sees the "therapist" cares more about them than they do about getting a paycheck. It's one of the most meaningful things in the world.

She cared when she wasn't getting paid. She cared too much. She went above and beyond. She actually saved me everytime she said I don't need money to talk to you. I don't need money to be there for you. And when you get down to it, the "therapist" is losing money and risking her career bc she cares so deeply about this PERSON she connected with and she's being SELFLESS.

Fucking selfless listening to your problems and being there for you when she should be getting paid for it.

-I'll say it again dual relationships really= I cared too much bc I'm a human being.

[aprivateplace7]

Genshin 4.7 archon quest-

This guy rly shows up once a yr, is the epitome of "well you never asked", looks pretty & then disappears into the ether :v

Dain sends us away to confront(?) Abyss twin???

U know, i wasn't that excited during the trailer but... i'm realizing this is the 1st time we're actually seeing our twin since b4 Inazuma... its been a long-ass time :v

Tbh the way the game is structured, i totally forget about the Abyss, Khaenri'ah & our twin. I'm just happy to go through Teyvat & deal w/ whatever bs we inevitably get caught in.

Is this a normal... fight? Thing??? Or is our twin distracting Dain?

...wait was that all Dain, or did our twin also wait for us to leave??? They... want us to join their side, but they're also avoiding us?

The architecture looked a lot like Enka... but we're no where near it. I heard it resembles Khaenri'ah? I also noticed that this interlude quest is again in Sumeru, instead of Fontaine...

Just being able to slip into someone else's memories... absolutely deranged. Even moreso than like what happened during the 2nd Raiden quest, like memory ghosts playing out in front of u.

We gaming, its time for mt dew :3 no doritos unfortunately, but i don't like to eat while playing anyway... do ppl rly get their shit dirty like that? Like irl? Anyway...

Ok so, b4 I did see, this guy is Caribert right?

Oh wow! I was gonna joke about my spelling, but I actually spelt his name right! I didn't look it up :3 but, he knows us? Like he's not surprised to see us... i guess our twin was aware of our presence.

Wait a min... how is he human-looking again?!? Hoyo!!!!!

Ok wait... he only exists in ppl's memories. Does he exist? Was that wrong? Is he just messing w/ ppl's memories or is he a strange... being.

I for one am grateful to Paimon. Its hard to keep up w/ whatever this is 💀 (not rly in a bad way, i like going on Genshin's wild ride)

I thought this place looked a lot like the eternal oasis. I guess its not...

There is no point to this. I am just writing my thoughts as I go thru the quest. Since i don't do videos lol.

What the hell did he do tho?

Ok sorry, he just answered me. He doesn't rly exist anymore... but he has powers that lets him interact w/ the real world?

Ok he rly knows us??? I realized that bc of our twin it'd make sense that Caribert would know who we are, but he wants to talk to us?

Ohhh ok. Being a ghost is easier to understand lol. Like i still don't quite get the Rukkadavata/Nahida & Focalors/Furina thing? Unless its a reincarnation thing... or 1 soul being split into 2 ppl.

This game is full of a lot of crazy stuff tho. Like appearently Xiao's true form is a bird (like Cloud Retainer).

Manipulating ley lines as a form of controlling fate... makes sense actually. Well kinda. Like tampering w/ irminsul can "change" the past. I don't see how it can change the future... & we saw w/ Wanderer that it didn't change the overall events. It didn't save the lives of anyone that died, it just changed the circumstances of how. The only thing thag rly changed was Wanderer himself.

"After all, its existence cost me my life" oh :(

I was just wondering how he was involved in... whatever the Abyss Order is doing. But did he just want friends...? Like that's why he messed w/ the villagers...?

This game isn't at the same level as Depression ImpactTM, but...

"As if... I had a chance at life" :((((

Wait i'm confused? I stopped partway thru yesterday, but i thought the "missing" person had blonde hair? I thought it was our twin...

Caribert :((((( ;~;;

Oop. Ate dinner & had to go back in the conversation :v

Ok so, yeah Caribert was still helping the Abyss Order.

We always "save the day", or like it turns out alright (Fontaine), but in the grand scheme... its like we're trying to drain the ocean. We're not doing literally anything, we keep getting one step back. The gnosis, and now the Loom of Fate.

Caribert seems sweet... but idk.

I kinda hate how little we get to learn. & it always brings more questions than answers. Its like Hoyo is teasing us.

Hm, his personal wants were simple but... still he helped this thing to be completed. What is our twin going to do w/ it? Idk, i can't help but be sus of the Abyss Order... they're so mysterious but everything they do feels wrong. Dark. Ominous. Like it doesn't feel like they're gonna do anything good for the world...

Oh ;~;;; when the Traveler couldn't touch their twin... that hurt.

But like ??? He's just here? & now we're gonna talk??? Is the Traveler mad? I'm kinda annoyed how casual he's acting... like the last time didn't happen :/

I mean... i don't like Celestia either but... it feels like a means to an end. Like, they don't care how much suffering they cause as long as it turns out alright in the end. I don't like that :/

YEAH WHY ARE U RUNNING FROM MEEEE? The twin loves the traveler too right? :(

"The sea of flowers at the end"

Its like... he's been in this world for 100s of yrs, since the Cataclysm, w/out us. & now he's too diff... he's not the same person we knew.

All the traveler wants is to be by their twin's side ;^;

He doesn't like what he's doing either :(

He's too... ashamed to face us. But he can't stop?

THEY WON'T REMEMBER????

HOYO WHEN I FIND YOUUUUUU!!!

Back on their bs....

Wut.

I remember the loom of fate talk?

But not about my twin?

....

They're doing this on purpose.

I am actually mad. What the hell.

The picture???

AND THAT"S HOW IT ENDS ????

[kart0]

Little update !

Heyyy everyone !!!! Just wanted to write lol

So last update I told you I was going to my psych appt but she fucking cancelled it ? And then I rescheduled and then she just fucking bailed on me and didn't even show up to her own clinic ? Anyways I got very very upset and angry bc apparently she was TRAVELLING TO FUCKIGN NEW YORK ????????????? y'all...istg I must be a fucking saint to tolerate shit like this. Maybe I'm too passive...I didn't even allow myself to get mad and tell her but anyways. I guess I just am too used to sucking things up.

Ok so she told me to lower my dosage, and now I'm like ? Hm, I don't think so. And I might have done something really stupid ?

And I do not recommend anyone to do this PLEASE DON'T, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ! Erhm.... I might have stopped taking my meds ? For like. A month now ?

It kinda just happened honestly... I didn't have money to buy them, and then I started to forget taking them everyday, and then I guess I just. Idk I just stopped taking them ? And I only did that because I felt ok ? Not too bad, not too good, normal actually. And I know this is such a stupid part of me but I don't really think the meds were working anyways ? And since I dont feel bad, I guess I just. Do not care ?

I don't know ? I haven't been very anxious, I haven't been depressed, my mania ended a few days ago, I feel, normal. And ok. Idk ? When I got depressed it felt really debilitating but then I suddenly became maniac and it was over very suddenly and now I feel better. The only thing tho is now my sleep schedule is FUCKED. But idk ? Nothing else tbh ?

And I do not advise anyone to do this, I am making sure to say it as many times as it takes !!!!! Please ! I am saying dumb things I am not a doctor I have not studied medicine I have no idea what's going on !!! But I do know my body, and I can tell how I feel. And for now, I feel ok.

I am currently tabling at this anime convention and it's been taking my time for many weeks now, preparing merch and stuff, and now it's finally happening and ? It's very.... Idk ? Idk ? Idk idk I forgot the word (I'm not a native English speaker btw) it's when something goes below your expectation ? The event pretty much flopped, the tables were expensive, and I didn't sell too much. Idk ? Today's the last day (thank GOD, I forgot how much of a hassle and a pain and how tiring it is) so let's see how this will go.

I am so excited for my winter break tho !!!!! Can't wait to just play games and draw fun stuff and rot. Yay ! Soon.....

Also ! Haikyuu movie is finally here in Brazil !!!!!!! YAS !!! I AM SO SO SO HYPED AND EXCITED ! I haven't gotten tickets yet ofc cuz I'm busy but soon...soon my dear...

And ? It think I might have a little infatuation with this guy on my class. He is very, and I mean, VERY, handsome, and pretty, he's so good looking, I'm embarrassed to interact with him, and I get all awkward and shy. I just forget how to behave normally ? And I try so FUCKING hard to act normal (more than usual since..I act like this all the time. It's the tism) anyways and I found out he's not actually dating anyone ? Last year I knew he had a gf (she's in my class too) and I swore they were still together, but just were very low profile. Turns out no they broke up. Ugh I just. And he makes silly jokes of me and just, acting like an annoying little shit (he's the youngest sibling) and keeps saying I'm bald and stuff like that (just cuz...I dyed my hair blond ? Idk what his thought process is) anyways so like. I can't even tell if he likes me as a person ? He also keeps saying fuck yourself constantly to me . Like. Uhm ? Idk ? I am very intimidated by him but I can't tell if it's because he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen or if it's cuz of these "jokes". At first I thought it was very mean, and I tend to take things vry literally so I tried my best to not interact with him because i didn't want him to keep saying mean things, and didn't want to ruin even more my reputation or what he thought about me, but then I realized he jokes like this with everyone ? Which, honestly, is very very stupid. Hes a little stupid. I think it's because he's a man.

Anyways, I'm just so confused. I'm trying not to think too much about it because I tend to over project and my mind spirals and I start imagining scenarios and I might get confused and convince myself I have feelings that I might not really have ? Idk... I know I'm a romantic for sure so like. I tend to imagine too much idk idk idk so I keep trying to rationalize and think straight. Like, we don't even get along that well ? I think ? I don't even know if we're even friends ? I know he knows prettier people than me. I'm not very good looking. I'm not very nice too. I'm not good at anything really, and I don't have a very good personality. I am just not good. I have a friend and she's so sweet, and her nickname is "jesus". Cuz she's just nice and hardworking, and she always tries her best. And... I won't lie. I really really like her, and I can tell you all these things are true about her. And...it makes a little. Envious. I wish people thought about me that way I wished I was naturally good, and not having to try my best and work to be normal every single day. I wished people would see how much I'm trying. I really really am trying. But it's just not a natural thing to me, I guess. I always, constantly have this feeling, that I'm always performing. Someone is always watching me. And I always have to be my best and try hard and I just. I force myself to be nicer, more considerate, more careful, more thoughtful. Because these things just don't come up to me naturally. I am not good. Sorry for the rant.

Ugh. I think I just am forcing myself to feel something, y'know ? I've always dreamed about falling in love. I don't think I've ever did. Nor will ever do. I am pretty sure I'm aroace anyways.

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Why are boys so stupid.

I just hope things don't turn out the way it did before, with my ex best friend. To sum up, he had feelings, I THOUGHT I had feelings too, but I just really really liked him, as a friend. As a best friend, in fact. So I ended up things and we just. Don't talk or hang out anymore. Which made me pretty upset, and made me think I might had actual feelings. Turned out I was just fucking lonely and miserable, and he was my ONE ONLY friend. Now that I've been hanging around with my uni colleagues, I don't feel that alone anymore. I made more friends ! Yay !

Also ! Happy pride month ! Happy to say that it's been some months since I came out as gender fluid, and I am so proud and never been better and as confident ( with my physical appearance) as I was before !

Ugh anyways, thanks for listening to me. As always, I will try to work on myself and become a better person every day. Thank u all !

Oh ! Ps: I've been slowly eating more ! I might fail sometimes but I've been making sure to at least go to bed with a full stomach. So I won't wake up dying and feeling miserable and in pain. So this is an improvement I believe !

[karatekid1]

hi guys it been a while. Well, everything right now feels like its going up and down all the time, like on monday, three days ago, my life felt so good, i was so happy, then everything went downhill again on tuesday. today is thursday and idek how im feeling, i dont got any apeitie, and my life just feel so depressing. i realized yesterday that heartstopper is like a core memory to me, like i havent watched it since season 2 came out bc people started calling it cringe and i actually started to think it were. i was just a kid back then it feels like, because every day i get older and i feel embarressed for my younger self, in like a few months i think that this me whos writing this is gonna be so cringe, why are we like that? or maybe thats just me. but what i mean is that yesterday i listened to some of the soundtrack songs, i just felt warm and happy inside, and it kept doing everytime i listeend to the songs, i stayed up til 3 am last night just rewatching the first season and it made me cry actually idk why but it just brings me so much comfort. anyway, uni going fine ig, some subjects are really terrible, but im surviving. me and benjamin (the nick to my charlie) are still together and idk tbh how hes feeling ab me atp, like im so fucking stupid and annoying i think hes getting tired of it. i feels like im slowly loosing my mind again bc of everything. i hate myself for the way i act towards people. most people i know would call me nice, they do, but then i literally argue with everyone over stupid shit just bc i am sensetive. and i dont know how to deal with myself, i just get so easily mad and jealous of everyone and its starting to spread out more over the people i love which is not meant to happen but i cant control it. how much i try to be nick, will continue to always be charlie. what was i made for? i dont even know myself anymore. people say they're proud of me but i will literally treat them like shit without even realizing it myself. all i really want is to be seen and heard, but i end up embarresing myself, overshare or just make people upset. im just a failure, im not supposed to be here, i dont fit in. i dont know whats right or wrong anymore i just want to live my life, but im literally just miserable. i try so hard everyday, to get people to like me, to make me like myself a little bit more and not hating myself, but when ive done something wrong i cant even realise my mistake until so long after ive done it, and i feel so stupid. i dont deserve to live the life that i do. i dont deserve any of this. i try to be like everyone else, i try to be interesting but if you try too hard no one is gonna like you. and if youre not interesting people wont wanna hang out with you bc youre boring. you should be funny but not mean, you should be perfect but not fake, you shoulld be thin but not starve, you should be smart not a tryhard, you should be yourself but not different, you should be happy but not annoying, you should be kind but not too kind because then people will use you for their own good. i hate humans, i hate what we've made this world into. sorry this became a whole vent post but im just so tired of living without having anything to live FOR.

[sayakxmi]

[Magi rewatch] Episode 6: Warrior Tribe Fanalis [Part 2]

Again, Ohtaka, for fuck's sake.

Morgiana having visible scars >>>

No, fr, anime ppl should really just. Start drawing scars in general. Especially when it comes to the female characers. I feel like at least male characters get to wear theirs, but female ones have to look perfectTM. Just draw women with scars ffs.

I'm trying to make sense of her eyes here, ngl. Like, it's probably a dream effect or sth, but made me wonder if Fanalis eyes become red with time.

It's still a pretty depressing scene, but my mind works the way it does.

Cute, but, again, I kinda liked the manga version better, mostly cuz I liked how Morgiana's first reaction was to try to stop whoever was trying to touch her. That wariness made a lot of sense, y'know? Anime Morgiana comes off as a little more helpless here, the manga one still had the instincts to protect herself.

Small change here, in the manga iirc Nadja and her parents were leaving Balbadd bc of the conflict, but here she just says that they were living there, and then got caught by some scary guy. Like, damn, how bad was the situation in Balbadd for something like that to happen. Though, to be fair, it could've happened, given that mess and all.

Is there a Magi character that had, like, a good life. They're all just flesh bundles of trauma.

She's trying.

Small change. She just smiles here, then pats Nadja's head. I like how in the manga her smile fell the moment Nadja wasn't looking. Cool characterization moment. Morgiana is reassuring her, but she's also very serious and understanding of their current situation. It's not good.

Gdi these rugs. I have flashbacks. But anyway, it's actually pretty cool - Leila is panicking, searching for Morgiana.

It's so cool, actually. Leila freaks out that Morgiana might've been attacked, and rushes to help her, but gets stopped here. And she's furious that somebody's trying to stop her from helping her friend.

Nadja's sick.

In the manga it was less dramatic, lmao.

This looks. Kind of silly.

G O L T A S

There is one god, and his name is Goltas.

They ruined my cool flashy birds with that yellow bg. This is why I don't like yellow. Ironically, a lot of my fav characters are yellow. I'm confused by that, too.

Jokes aside, the flow, obviously.

There he is.

Up we go.

It was a cool moment, and, again, we should get much more of this.

That sun behind her. Awesome moment.

Listen, I won't do that fight scene justice with screenshots. You know what happens. I know what happens. Let's leave it at that.

That being said, it was still a bit funny how Morgiana was just lowkey flying there. Gravity who?

Ok, but the choice of words there. "I am Fanalis. One of the rulers of the Dark Continent. One of the strongest slave tribes." Em.

Small disservice to Morgiana, again, here she just straight up breaks the door. The manga shows that while she's fully capable of handling that kind of stuff, she's also not above less violent ways of dealing with problems. She tried to use the key, but since it didn't work, she opted to kick the door. In the anime she just kicks the door like that. I wouldn't say it's bad or anything, but in the manga Morgiana seemed more poised, even in such a dramatic situation, which, imo, was both a little funny - her being polite in such circumtances - and just a cool character trait. But oh well. I'm not faulting anime!Morgiana for not bothering with pleasantries.

Y'know, cool of the anime to address the fact that Nadja's sick. The manga kinda forgot abou it, lmao.

He's just. Sitting there. All '-'

Like, in the manga he made friends & was vibing, but here he looks so sad and lonely, come on.

He's happy to see Morgiana, tho.

Ok, he did make friends with them. But they looked more chill, which was funny af. Here they're serious, eh.

Idk what this is but it's AWESOME

WAIT, THEY HAVE MATCHING SCARS

Them.

[autonoes]

so there is a situation. no one has to read this bc it’s probably gonna be pretty much incoherent and i’m just tryna think things thru. (self harm and suicide mention)

me and two other guys have been friends for like 13yrs or smth. let’s call them friends A and B ok. friend A is like the sweetest man ever but a v passive and anxious guy, v bad at making decisions and just coasts thru life and gets pushed around. he’s had this sorta older gf (early 30s i think) for like 2 yrs. she is basically a surrogate mum for him (drives him around, tells him what to do, gives him a place to live blah blah). it’s a bit creepy but ok. she has been up front since day 1 that she wants babies. loads of babies. friend A has somehow skirted around the issue and put it off for years now. he is NOT ready to be a dad and he says this openly—but not to her. she has an unstable visa and work situation and quite bad anxiety/depression. A’s mum gets on suuper well with girlfriend and wants them to get married and have kids asap

enter friend B. friends A and B have this mutual friend. friend A opened up to this mutual guy and told him that things were kinda fucked up between him and gf. main thing is that she’s self-harming and friend A feels like he needs to protect her. this has made him super isolated cos he can’t stay away from her at all without her calling and texting constantly asking him to come home. mutual friend tells friend B all this out of concern for friend A, and tells him to tell me too. friend B starts messaging me abt how we need to step in and do something (i’m at the other end of the country at this time). he’s even considering telling friend A’s mum so that she will swoop in and save him. at this time i was under the impression that girlfriend was threatening friend A with self harm and suicide. so i was like that’s abusive as fuck. u gotta talk to him. so friend B meets up with friend A. but he brings that mutual friend guy AND some other dude we all know from school who knows nothing about all this??? and he totally fumbles it and doesn’t even mention anything. very annoying but ok. i’ll just do it

anyway so now i’m back in the same part of the country as them all. and i’m gonna talk to friend A. i meet up with friend B and try to get more info out of him and he tells me that yes there IS a self harm element but now he doesn’t know whether it’s being used as a threat or not. so this makes everything waay more complicated and throws it all into veeery sensitive gray area.

anyway i’m meeting up with friend A tomorrow and idk how exactly i’m gonna approach this. bc i’m not even meant to know ANY of this rly. like it’s v sensitive and confidential info that he gave to a totally different guy and which has now passed two hands to get to me. so idk whether it’s best to pretend like i don’t know anything and just coax the same info out of him so we can talk abt it. or whether i should be up front and say i heard some stuff i’m concerned abt and ask him to give me his perspective on it all…. i don’t mind talking to him abt this. i feel like i might be able to come at it on his level bc i have had some experience w this kind of thing in a relationship before (tho when much younger and a lot less messy) and i know how it can fuck ur head up.

it’s all a mess tbh. i’m gonna stop thinking abt it and just talk to him and take it as it comes. i am worried abt him. either he stays w her and leads her on even more abt having kids til she goes completely mad and dumps him. or he does have kids (not good situation). orr he actually takes a stand for once and tells her he does not want children and they split. this is probably the ‘best’ situation but it would be very hard for him and for more reasons that i cannot explain might end up very badly for him….. aaagggggh. v upsetting. i hope he will be ok

omg this is long and incoherent. sorry if u read all this

[jackienautism]

fire emblem update part three!! i played a BUNCH yesterday and am probably going to finish my first playthrough tonight!! update on character opinions - while my overall ranking of the eagles hasn't changed, i will say that both linhardt and ferdinand have gotten sooo much more special to me post timeskip. similar thing happened with hubert actually, where i like him even more but he's staying in the same spot on my rankings.

DOROTHEA IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL POSTSKIP like. ending the war For Her <333 she and bernie and caspar are still my besties in the whole world. this getting redundant but. i am LOVING bernie postskip. caspar too! i got all of his supports with petra since my last ask and im rotating them in my head they are so interesting to me. actually i had really not gotten too many supports between characters by my last ask and i've been trying to get the ones im most interested in currently and like. i am rotating these guys and their dynamics in my head they are sooo interesting to me. sooo mad bernie and petra don't have an a support </3 i want more of them.

im trying my best to avoid killing any of the former allies. so far i've avoided killing ignatz, let seteth and flayn run away, recruited lysithea, avoided killing hilda, and spared claude. had to kill leonie bc she would not stop killing caspar and bernie no matter what i did. and i killed alois.

little bit sad that i'm missing out on the potential angst this playthrough of having like... only one blue lion kill the rest but. there's always another playthrough! i'm def gonna play all the routes (although honestly i'm gonna have a tough time on the church path.... idk it's one thing to fight edie without being closer to her but it's gonna feel sooo bad to like. directly betray her) but i'm probably gonna replay CF being a little more careful with who i recruit from a story standpoint.

semi related but MAN im LOVING the edelgrid posting im thinking about them soooo hard rn. anyway. on to finish the playthrough! already plotting my next playthrough which is gonna be VW. sort of considering who i want to recruit for that one bc so many of my favorites are in the black eagles so for maximum angst potential i should recruit one or maybe two. but who to pick.... or maybe im lying bc maximum angst would just be killing them all. and then at the same time. what if i just decided to save as many people as possible. what then. minimum angst.

anyway! im going to be thinking about these characters forever now. this game is basically the perfect storm in terms of media that's gonna have me thinking about it for a while (big cast with interesting concepts that could definitely be dug into way deeper, and tons of possible dynamics to think about) so. thank you for your posting about it because i found myself suddenly with an abundance of unscheduled free time and i am. definitely enjoying it now! also side note but i lovee how so many of these characters come with adorable nicknames. i love calling them like. bernie and hubie and edie like yessss those are my besties <333333

YIOPPEEEEE OHHH GOOD FOR YOU GOOD FOR YOU... IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE CLOSE TO FINISHING YOUR FIRST FIRE EMBLEM PLAYTHROUGH EVER HEHE and maybe even by now you may have finished it? but regardless, super happy for you my friend<3 AND RIIIGHT,.. THEY JUST GROW ON YOU POST TIMESKIP... sooo glad the same happened w/ ferdie and hubie for you! next time you check in you def have to submit or create your Official black eagles ranking! id love to see!!!

DOROTHEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD AND FULLL OF ANGST POST TIMESKIP AAAGH YEAH. THATS WHY SHES SO SPECIAL 2 ME.... THE ARC W/ HER DEPRESSION IS JUST.... GOSH. so gladyou're ending the war for her aand only her<333 i support that sentiment 10000% i still have to go through the black eagles supports w/ each other (i enjoy getting them myself... hence why i dont just watch them on youtube or smth. plus i havent played through crimson flower in a looong while) but im SOOO happy youve been enjoying tjhe characters and the dynamics between each of them! fire emblem is especiallly good w/ writing stuff like that. and they def did not fall short in this ggame! so i unfortunately cant comment too much on individual stuff but im glad you like the supports<3 ALL OFD THE CHARACTERS DESERVE A SUPPORTS TBH!!!!!! luckily im pretty sure there are more supports in three hopes so if youre interested for more content you can always loook them up on youtube :o

understand why youd try your best to avoid killing former classmates,def makes it a bit more difficult but ): it's super fucked up, especially in the perspective of the characters. the angst potential is sooo good but sometimes i am Weak of Heart. so im glad to hear that you were able to spare / recruit most of them! rip to leonie and alois though. i defunderstand alois bc wasnt he abt to do some shit during the battle for the monastery? makes sense why youd need / want to get rid of him asap

FDJGDFBG GLAD THAT YOURE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE POTENTIAL ANGST????? did you only recruit sylvain and ingrid this route? or were you able to recruit felix as well? sorry i remember you saying you liked felix but i cant remember if you recruited him or not! but yeah im sure the crimson flower!blue lions is esp....... hard for them. considering that 3 of them were close friends w/ dimitri as children. but thats whats so GOOD about it..... there's so much angst in that alone. ouugh what are your plans for a future crimson flower route regarding the blue lions :o? BUT YEAH. SILVER SNOW (THE CHURCH ROUTE) IS GONNA BE ROUGH LMAO I DONT WANNA GO AGAINST / BETRAY EDIE LET ALONE THE REST OF THE BLACK EAGLES.... its gonna be tough but we'll make it through </3 that is why i am putting it off for as longas possible👍

HEHEH SO GLAD YOUVE ENJOYED ME GOING BATSHIT OVER EDELGARD / INGRID. SOMETHING SPOKE TO ME AND THEY JSUT..... GOD. YEAH. HAPPY YOU UNDERSTAND. fdjndfg i totally understand that want to like. get as painful as possible but for me personally. whille i HATE separating the black eagles from edie. i just cant be without them and kill them in battle i jusr CANT .... so props to you for wanting to do that! i will sauy though theres alreyad enough angst surrounding edie and hubie if you choose to save everyone else in the BE.... it just. it fucked me up, so have fun in VW<3 good luck w./ the rest of crimson flower if you stilll havent finished and verdant wind when you get to it :D!!!!

<3333 SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT MY SILLY POSTING AND MUSINGS GOT YOU TO PLAY AND THEREFORE ENJOY THE GAME!!!!!! MY WORK HERE IS CERTAINLY DONE... also happy that this new piece of media gave you more shit to think about<3 theres def a bunch to think about in terms of three houses man...... AND RIIIGHT THE NICKNAMES ARS SOC UTE..... ADN THEF ACT MOST OF THEM CAME FROM DOROTHEA ALONE MAKES ME SO ........ GOD . GIOD.