#i think my lack of confidence in my ability to read characters is playing into this a lot; but.

[strayslost]

okay so i've been busy af since i'm on holiday with family atm. the bsd chapter as expected did give me the muse to write again!! but finding the TIME is another issue altogether... i come back home at the end of this week so fingers crossed i'm able to write by that time!

but anyway, new chapter thoughts again but more detailed this time ayyyy. i loved it so much tbh. sigma finally learning he can trust dazai and having that actually proved to him now through dazai risking his life for him is like... the best... my sigzai heart is so happy ;w; but also it's clearly leading up to something with sigma, some kind of key moment for him in the future, and i'm not sure what it is, but i am SUPER excited!!

i saw some of you pointing out that this selflessness really isn't surprising coming from dazai & that it's not the first time he's acted this way which i do agree with!! and i think i wasn't giving him enough credit in my last post on the chapter, so i would like to. formally apologize to dazai for that. ashfsdkjhkjSHFD

but really, i've been on team "dazai genuinely wants to protect sigma with even above his own life" for a while, so it's not so much that it surprised me to see this from him, but... it was just really nice to have it confirmed so explicitly, i guess?? i second guess myself on my reading of dazai a lot, and most of the more selfless moments i remember from him are in the light novels rather than the main manga, (though i suspect i'm forgetting some key manga moments here so feel free to remind me!) so it was just really nice to see some of that shown in the manga as well. i love him sm for real. help me

as for chuuya, i was really hoping for chuuya to save dazai and i still am tbh, but i also read the theory that this is sigma's entrance exam and the deciding factor is gonna be whether he goes back for dazai or tries to escape on his own - and i REALLY like that too!! so i don't mind who saves him, as long as both sigma and chuuya at some point get their key moments. i can be patient. i swear..................

dazai might escape on his own of course, that wouldn't surprise me either. this is more just what i hope for than what i actually expect.

anyway tldr is CHAPTER GOOD AND SIGZAI IS SO REAL!! AS IT SHOULD BE!!

[tasteracha]

the storm.

a/n: happy (early) birthday to my shining star xian @forlix i love you so much i ache with it. i love this universe you've created and i love your characters and your beautiful, beautiful mc that i'm so happy you've let me play with.

warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, teasing, pretty tame for me tbh! many big emotions. wc 2.7k. hurt/comfort sex between two people who love each other.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader, she/her!reader, based off of xian's lovely crying lightning (you can read this as a stand alone but why would you? xian's fic is phenomenal. please read it.)

as beautiful and wonderful and kind and patient hyunjin is, it’s hard to forget sometimes that his general presence is still exceptionally infuriating sometimes. the days of your loneliness, before the two of you had finally come together into one woven cord instead of two strings dancing alongside one another, were all but a distant memory. overriding that was the smell of his skin in the morning, the glint in his eye when he catches yours across the cameras and fans, the warm weight of his hand steady on the small of your back, protective and possessive. all you knew now was the cracking of lightning across a stormy sky, raindrops hitting your face in a welcome intrusion to your mundane day to day. 

the all expanse of the storm did its job well of making you forget that sometimes the raindrops were irritating, too. 

they came in the form of him opening one eye slowly as you tried to swipe shadow across his lid, upsetting your plan and making you double back once you’ve scolded him; the air moving around you as he walks away from you after teasing you one too many times; the sound of his laugh when he’s behind the camera of someone, making eyes at the lens that should have been reserved for you only. each one was a piercing cold drop of water to your face, piercing as they fall and sliding down to form a puddle at your feet. 

it didn’t escape your notice that you weren’t upset at him, really; it wasn’t his fault that you were spiteful. even thinking the word makes you shiver in disgust - this isn’t you. you had never been one to let your feelings affect your actions, you selfishly prided yourself in your ability to compartmentalize, but he had this hold on you that made you experience things you never thought were possible. 

he, of course, finds the entire show encompassingly amusing. you could see the mirth in his eyes from across the room when he meets yours, recognize your own expression in them like a mirror and it made your scowl deepen in it’s permanence. you almost wish for the time when he didn’t know of your affection for him; the surety in his step when he makes you frown is maddening, overshadowed by the smugness he holds in knowing he could make you smile with greater ease. let it be known that you didn’t lack in confidence - your spine is stood high, head held with authority and feet planted firmly on the floor. envy wasn’t something that ever crawled up your legs like ivy over an ancient grecian statue. jealousy, even, seemed too harsh a sentence for your current charge. to put it simply, you were annoyed. 

he knows this, of course. he knows you, inside and out, and on your best days it’s a rare gift that you treasure, hidden away in the deepest corners of the closet that is your heart. on your worst days it’s utterly terrifying, the feeling of being laid out to shrivel in the sun with no chance of respite. and wasn’t it ironic that the one thing that made you feel this way was the one that cured you too?

it’s with an embarrassing amount of pleasure that you remind yourself that you are the one he goes home with, at the end of the day. you’re cleaning up your station and you hear his laugh in the background, not directed at you but ringing like sweet bells nonetheless. every brush that returns home into your kit, every lip product that gets swiped into a bag, every charcoal pencil is the ticking of time that needs to pass before he is yours again. simply yours, not belonging to the cameras or the managers or the staff whose stare linger on him for longer than they should be allowed to. 

you knew where your talents were - in your art, your ability to read people, your creativity and your drive for perfection. these uncharted waters were not in your skillset, but as hyunjin stalks across the room to reunite with you after what seemed like hours, you took a moment to be grateful that it seemed to be in his. putting yourself in someone else’s hands, feeling the level of trust that you had for him, sent a tingle up your spine, but if anyone was going to take care of you it was him; the thought soothes you like a balm, not enough to be permanent but enough to get you by for now.

“missed me that much?” he crowds into your space to press a light kiss to your hairline, expertly moving his body so that no one could see. “i’ve only been shooting for an hour.”

“keep talking and you’ll get shot,” you mutter, ignoring the heat that rises up to your cheeks as you turn from him to gather your things, aching to be home and in his arms and away from prying stares. his heat is still pressed up against your back, standing as close as he could while still letting you move freely. as much as you want to drag him into some secluded hallway and refamiliarise yourself with the taste of his skin, you had to pull out your endless supply of restraint. getting caught with your hand down his pants in a building that you frequented often was not an outcome that you wished to experience, at least not today. 

his hand is warm on the small of your back as he walks you out a series of doors and stairs to the parking garage, the sound of your shoes bouncing off of the walls a bit jarring. 

“you looked nice today,” you tell him, honest, as he slides into the passenger seat of your car. the worn seats smell like his cologne and his old bracelet hangs from the rearview mirror - god, even your car was reminding you of how much of your life he encompassed - not that you were complaining about that. 

“that was all you,” pride drips from his voice and you catch his soft gaze when you turn to look behind you so you could back out of your parking spot. 

“i may have helped, but it’s still your face,” you counter, hand busy on the gear shift, as eager as your heart was to finally get home. 

“if i didn’t know you, i would have thought you were obsessed with me,” he says, the biting tease dripping off his tongue like citrus. “with the way you were staring at me, back there.”

“i’ll make you walk home,” you tighten your grip on the steering wheel despite the threat being empty. he knows which threads to tug on without unraveling you, playing you with his words like it was muscle memory. 

“you’d make me walk?” he gasps theatrically, pressing his palm to his chest and fluttering his eyes at you. “what if i get kidnapped, or mugged? how would you live with yourself?”

“you’re an idiot,” you deadpan, cursing the betraying fondness that rises up in you. 

“your idiot,” he grins stupidly, settling his hand on your thigh as he watches the streetlights shine across your face as you drive. his touch is scalding, long fingers pressing into your very nerves and leaving them flayed out. 

“yeah, remember that,” you retort, and you hope he thinks you mean the idiot part. 

the remainder of the short drive home was spent in comfortable silence, hyunjin tapping away on his phone with his free hand as you speeded down the freeway. when you park you let out a sigh and your keys jangle in melancholy along with you when you take them out of the ignition. hyunjin presses his fingers into your thigh in a final squeeze before he exits the car, long legs carrying him over to your door before you could blink to open it for you. 

walking up the stairs to your third story apartment never felt more relaxing, the breath they stole from you a necessary tax to pay to enter the comfort of your own walls. 

you pull him to the bedroom as soon as you walk through the front door, dropping your things in the foyer with as much care as you could muster. 

it takes you a couple of seconds to push him to sit up against the headboard, a couple more for him to complain about it, and less than that for you to climb into his lap and press a searing kiss to his lips. 

he opens himself to you, open mouth curved into a smile as you lick into it. you taste the coffee you had made for him this morning, the croissant he had eaten during a break, the gloss that you had carefully dabbed across his plush lips. 

you want him, no one else could have him. how could you feel this much possessiveness over someone you already hold as yours?

his hands circle your waist and his thumbs press into your skin, holding you against him even as you pull away from him. his lips are left glistening red and he looks up at you with a kind of reverence that you don’t think you’ll ever get used to. 

“slow, angel,” he moves his thumbs in slow circles. “i’m not going anywhere.” 

“hyune,” you gasp, going lax against him. you’re far too drained to pretend that your entire body didn’t ache for him. “need you.”

“i know,” he shushes you, trailing his fingers up and down your spine. he loves to tease but he’d never do so at your expense; he must sense that your emotional turmoil is bubbling into the direction of a vortex. “you have me. take what you need, baby.”

the reminder that he was yours, though wholly unneeded, sounds so sweet to your ears. your fingers slide up his chest, twisting into the button at his collar and popping it open with practiced ease. you peel the panels of material off of him to expose his sun-kissed skin, abdominal muscles tensing with how he’s holding back from jerking up into your lap. 

“what does my baby want, hmm?” he says, voice catching when your hands slide over his chest and brush over his nipples. he groans when you roll one between your fingers and the sound of it makes your heart soar.

“i want you to shut up and take your pants off,” you back off of him to rid yourself of your own clothes, folding them into a neat little pile at the foot of the bed. he shows no such care for his own, kicking off his pants and boxers throwing them along with his shirt across the room. his hungry eyes stay on you the whole time, shining with excitement as if it was the first time he was witnessing you undress.

you climb back over him as fast as humanly possible, the feeling of his bare skin against yours like an eternal gift. you grind down against him, his rapidly hardening cock sliding between your folds and his head catching against your clit. you’re wet, of course you are; you have been since his hand was on your thigh on the car ride home you moan and duck your head, a little embarrassed by how affected you are by such a simple motion.

he braces himself on his elbow as other hand moves to your hairline, brushing a few strands back behind your ear on it’s path towards cupping the back of your neck. he moves closer, lips so close to yours that you can almost taste them again, but before they meet you’re feeling the earth’s weight shift and your own balance break. 

“i want to take care of you,” he explains when you look up at him in a daze, dizzy from how quickly he had flipped you underneath him. “let me?”

“i thought i told you to shut up,” you were breathless but the permission still rang true under your words. you’d let him do whatever he wanted, how could you deny such a sweet request?

he grins something wicked as one of his hands slides down your chest towards your lower belly. his fingers part your folds easily and you feel so exposed even though he wasn’t looking. he decidedly keeps his mouth shut even as whines begin to spill from your lips, your eyes fluttering closed as a familiar burning sensation starts to take over your body. 

he alternates between rubbing gentle circles into your clit and teasing his fingers at your entrance, so close to dipping inside but not quite. he ducks his head to mouth at your neck, sucking a constellation of marks into your skin until you’re panting into his hair and shaking apart in your orgasm. 

he gives you a moment to recover, waiting patiently until you open your eyes to see his fond smile aimed at you. 

“what’s that look for?” the snark is completely absent in your voice post-orgasm, and it almost comes out dreamy. 

“i can’t even look at you now?” he breaks his unspoken vow of silence to ask. “i can’t help myself. i have the most gorgeous person walking this earth underneath me, looking at you is the tamest thing i can do to you.”

the blood returns to your cheeks as you take in his words. you don’t respond because you didn’t know how; what could you even say to that? he doesn’t seem to mind as he moves impossibly closer to you, leaning a bit of his weight against you. it’s not too much, just enough that you could feel his chest moving with his breaths. he lines his cock up to your entrance, his hips flush against yours as he slowly pushes in. 

you let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding when he enters you fully, every inch settling your frustration as it flows out of you along with the air in your lungs. this feeling was worth all of it, the early mornings and the onlookers and the sharing of him when all you wanted to do was lock him away for you and you alone.

he loves you. he was so in love with you that it poured out of his very being, in his gentle touch and the slide of his lips against yours and the slide of his cock against your walls. each drag of his hips sends burning pleasure up your spine, licking flames against your vertebrae until you can’t move. 

you’re so drunk on him that you lose track of time, all of your senses falling away until hyunjin is the only thing you can feel, see, touch. you lose your words, unintelligible syllables trying to shape his name falling from your lips, pressed against the skin of his neck and floating to his ears in a sweet symphony. 

it isn’t long before you’re falling apart underneath him, electricity crackling between you as fucks you through your orgasm. he gathers you in his arms as he tumbles over the edge after you, folding himself over you so he can kiss you, and you don’t realize that you were crying until his cheeks come back glistening with salty water. 

“god, i love you,” and to this day it still feels like a heavy declaration, the words never diminishing their weight despite the number of times they’ve fallen off of his tongue. “you are everything to me.”

“hyunjin,” is all you can say, but you know he reads between the curved letters of his name. i love you too, you mean the world to me, what would i be without you. 

he cares for you like the cracked piece of porcelain that you are, light fingertips tracing along the tear tracks on your cheeks that move to turn you on your side so you could smush yourself into his chest. your hand rests right above his heart, and if you looked close enough you could see the static sparks of electricity that connect the two of you together. 

[thephantomcasebook]

Your posts about Olivia Cooke really opened my eyes, I went on a deep dive to see some stuff. and seeing her talk about alicent and everything it just seems like she's talking out of her ass. I read the other day about Sara Hess talking about a convo with her and Cooke speaking about how Olivia has her own "head canons" for alicent and rhaenrya.

Like just about how alicents mother found out that young alicent and rhaenrya were kissing and making out? That just rubbed me the wrong way. Like two girls kissing I don't give a shit? Love who you want but when your a grown woman, in your thirties talking about children making out? That's disgusting the way she plan out says that. I was wondering your other opinions on that whole mess she's got going on.

Look ...

I've said my piece about Olivia Cooke over the years. I think she's a really good actress. I just watched "The Secret of Crickley Hall" and I liked it quite a bit, and I got really attached to Nancy because Cooke was so good. I've liked her since "Bates Motel" and knew even before trying House of the Dragon Season 1 that I was probably going to like her as Alicent - though I was already predisposed because I already liked both Alicent and Criston as characters before the show. She has this uncanny ability to make you attached, strongly, to the characters she plays.

When she's on screen you can't help but love her.

In the end, my problem is not personal to Olivia Cooke, it to actors and Actresses in general, especially toward actors and actresses of a certain age group - mostly late millennial people. I think they're vapid, empty headed, morons, who say creepy and weird shit, cause, they're surrounded by creepy weird people and caught up in social bubbles that don't exist in reality.

Cooke is just one actress among many of our generation who lack empathy and believe less in inhabiting a character and their life and more stripping the character so that they can feel more comfortable in their skin by making them more like the actor/actress. It's naked narcissism, the easiest to spot from anyone who knows how to analyze personalities and performances. And while Olivia Cooke is very - VERY - good playing Alicent, she'll never get past herself, because, Cooke wants to play Alicent the way Cooke wants rather than how Alicent should be played as an established character.

Cooke's naked misandry and bullshit angry bimbo feminism got in the way of Alicent being played consistently.

Alicent should not be angry with the people around her, she should not be hitting and yelling at the people close to her. Criston Cole is her closest and most trusted friend, confidant, and partner in all things - more so than Rhaenyra ever was. When Criston Cole was named Hand of the King, Alicent should not be berating or trying to humiliate Criston cause he took her daddy's job. When Criston got named Hand of the King, it should've been played that Criston AND Alicent got named Hand of the King because they're partners and they do everything together. Criston was Alicent's in to regaining power because there's no one who knows Criston better and who Criston trusts more than Alicent. Any writer would've written with the actor's full support that Alicent would be living in Criston's lap, co-ruling and plotting with him. Not berating him and throwing childish temper tantrums.

It shouldn't have been Otto and Alicent trying to control Aegon and the Green Council. It should've been Otto versus Alicent and Criston in a power struggle as it was in the book. When Aemond and Criston were plotting in Aemon's apartments, Alicent should've been in the room with them. The Crownland Campaign should've been Aemond, Criston, and Alicent's brainchild together ... as it was in the book.

Now, you might say that this is a writing a problem. And it is to a large extant. But Olivia Cooke is not exempt from blame. The actors - because of the strike - had a lot more say in the development of the characters this season - which is big mistake. And while some actors had great instincts, such as Matt Smith and Tom Glynn-Carney. Olivia Cooke chose and championed to play the angry and embittered - Alicent hates all these warmongering men - angle. Several actors spoke up to fix their characters and pushed back against the writing to make their characters better - Tom Glynn-Carney being the golden example. But Olivia Cooke did not, in fact she made Alicent worse.

This is because Cooke relishes in Misandrists power fantasies in which she gets her rocks off belittling and dismissing men. She has made no secret about it, and has run her mouth more than once about it in interviews for not just House of the Dragon but other projects in the past.

There was even a scene that Sara Hess wrote about Alicent dismissing Criston before the dinner 1x08 with a cold and snotty attitude like he was a dog. And it was cut because GRRM and another producer felt that it was incredibly disrespectful to Criston's character and was completely out of character for Alicent to ever treat Criston Cole that way. But Cooke later came out and said that she was really annoyed they cut it and spoke candidly about enjoying treating men that way. She also spent a lot of time in Season 1 at premieres bashing men as a whole, to a nauseating, unfunny, degree.

With that context, and other examples of the like, the assassination of Alicent as a character in Season 2, really starts to take shape. Yes, a lot of it was Sara Hess with Condal's dumb ass never saying no. But a lot of the path leading to Alicent betraying Criston and her sons comes from Olivia Cooke's misandrist bimbo feminism.

Any actor, in their right mind, would immediately push back and argue how dumb and out of nowhere Alicent's betrayal comes from. Any actor would know their character and the source material enough to say "Yeah, there's no way Alicent would do that to her sons, her brother, and the man she's loved since she was 14-years-old". Other actors on this fucking show pushed back and fought to keep uncharacteristic writing from ruining their characters - Tom Glynn-Carney gate kept Aegon fiercely behind the scenes.

The reason that Cooke didn't push back or tried to maintain Alicent's character is because the idea of Alicent betraying her family to join Rhaenyra is something that Cooke wants and agrees with politically. She did it for the ops, not for the character. Cooke got a hard-on at the idea of betraying men to join team girl-boss, "cause Like Girl Power and shit!" and not once did she give a flying fuck about the integrity of the character she was playing. Because, fuck it, she's on team feminism!

Like I said, my issues with Olivia Cooke is not personal, she is a symptom of a narcissistic rot of the profession in general in which actresses no longer play a character but play out wish fulfillment and power fantasies, and if a character is "Problematic" than they change them to suit their personal preferences.

Cooke could and would play a flawless Alicent if she was kept in line by an iron fist of a competent and experienced showrunner and producer that would curb her selfish bad habits and demand a little more professionalism from her.

[imaginepirates]

I love your take on potc characters and your headcanons for them. It’s just amazing. If it’s not a bother, I was wondering how do you think those characters would be as a parent? I mean we haven’t seen much parenting even for those that had kids in canon.

Ok so I actually have a few posts about this for James (hc)(hc)(hc) and Barbossa (fic) but! I can always expand. I also have one for Beckett (hc) since I'm obsessed with the idea.

Jack – Oh god. This is such an interesting question, because I firmly believe that Jack is actively against having children. He really and truly cannot fathom the idea of having kids of his own and being torn between caring for them on land where they can lead good lives and being at sea where he himself is happy. It’s a moral conflict he just can’t bring himself to face. His idea of what a child’s life should be like is shaped by his relationship with Teague and the ways in which he recognizes his own childhood lacked structure and support. He knows he can’t be the parent he needed when he was younger, and is thus against having children at all. If he were to have kids of his own, he would have to make the painstaking decision to leave them on land. A pirate ship is no place to raise a child; it’s dangerous and unpredictable. In his eyes, the best place for a kid to grow up is in a place of more stability, where they might have a better chance at finding a legitimate profession and keep themselves out of the trouble Jack has lived in his whole life. Rather than having biological kids, I can more see him acting as a sort of father-figure to a lot of young boys who end up working on the Pearl, teaching them the ropes and watching as they grow in their abilities and confidence.

Elizabeth – Elizabeth would be an interesting parent to have, for sure. I think her relationship with motherhood would be something very complex. For one, she has nothing to go off of, having had no mother of her own for most of her life. With her father gone, she can’t ask his advice, either. She’s such a fiercely independent and active person, too, that mothering may feel like an obstacle for her sometimes. That being said, I think she loves her children dearly and wants to do her absolute best for them. She teaches them all she knows—from proper behavior at formal functions to sword-fighting multiple enemies at once. She’s going to have the most well-rounded kids of all time, tbh. I’ve always kept this image in my mind of her showing up to a meeting of the Brethren Court with a kid just strapped to her front in a sling across her chest, and nobody says a damn thing. This also works as a method of volume control because nobody dares raise their voice and make the baby cry. I have an intrinsic need to see this happen, actually. I love the idea of her kids having pirate baby-sitters half the time when she needs to do something dangerous; Pintel and Ragetti act as honorary uncles, Barbossa as a granddad. Jack is the wine aunt. In all, her kids probably lead a kind of busy, chaotic life with people coming and going throughout their childhoods, but they have ties to an abundance of people who simply adore them. 

James – The most devoted, doting father ever. James is terrified to mess things up as a parent, and is always worrying that he won’t be any good at it. He adores his children and has unparalleled dedication to them. He wants them to have a good scholarly education, something he never had, but if they choose the military over school, he’ll personally oversee as much of their training as he can. He’s a deeply caring father, too. Though not good at expressing his own feelings, he’ll do anything for his children when they need him. He wants them to feel safe when coming to him, something he could never do with his own father. He makes sure to spend quality time with his kids doing things that aren’t school or work, instead playing games or taking them out riding or reading to them. When the kids are young, he’ll take naps with them on his chest, holding them close. He recognizes that he may have to be absent for long periods of time due to the nature of his job, and it tears at him. His greatest fear is going to sea for months while his children are still relatively little and coming home to find that they don’t remember him. Thus, he works hard to be as present as possible while he’s home, wanting desperately to make a positive impact on their lives. 

Will – Honestly, I feel like Will would make the most sane parent. After resolving things with his own father, he’s one of the people with the fewest daddy issues, and actually has a dad to ask questions of when he needs advice. Will feels like a very relaxed parent, not putting a lot of pressure on his kids. He was poor for most of his life, and though he wants better for his children than he had for himself, he also knows that happiness can be found working simple jobs. He’s very open to his children’s wishes and interests, and he’ll support them in pretty much damn anything. He definitely advises not becoming a pirate, though. Assuming the curse has lifted for him by the time he has children, he spends a lot of time with them. If it hasn’t, then he exploits loopholes and just has his kids come aboard the Dutchman as often as possible. He wants to be a presence in the lives of his children, and takes active steps to ensure it. I think he’s a little in awe as he watches them grow up, so impressed by all the things they accomplish, doing things he’d never even dreamed of when he was their age. He’s their number one hype man, too. 

Beckett – I have…feelings about Beckett as a father. He’s not a particularly present one, given that he has zero knowledge on how to take care of kids. There’s a nanny, no question. He doesn’t really know how to properly bond with his children, but does ensure that they get the best education possible and that they have access to a wealth of resources. Especially as the children start to get older and enter society properly, he has a good time with them making snarky commentary about the social scene. Sass is the name of the game. Speaking of games, I do see him as the type to enjoy chess, and he feels a wave of pride whenever his kids beat him. He’s overprotective and possessive—he refuses to let his children suffer in fear as he did when he was their age. He has Mercer with them as a bodyguard whenever they leave the house. If anything happens to his kids, Beckett is not above having the person responsible killed. I think he has a certain terror of being alone, and though he’s not the best at socializing with his children, he never truly wants them to leave.  

Barbossa – Hector is another doting father. He’s led a rough life, and though he doesn’t want that for his children, he’s not above taking them to sea when they grow old enough to sail. Before that, though, he leaves them on land with someone else, coming to visit every so often bearing gifts from all the places he’s been in the meantime. He can afford some degree of comfort for his children, too, and he certainly doesn’t spare that expense—if he can’t be there for his children, they’ll want for nothing else, dammit. Barbossa can’t give up his pirating ways to raise his kids on land himself, which is unfortunate, but the truth. If they do choose to go to sea, he takes them on as cabin-boys (or girls, he doesn’t give a fuck), and lets them learn and progress just like everyone else. I think he’d be happy to have them around, though a little concerned for their welfare. He knows better than anyone how dangerous a life at sea can be. Still, he isn’t too worried; he’s a realist if nothing else, and knows that there are chances for both good and bad. He puts effort into teaching his children and making sure they’re safe and cared for, but he’s a bit more hands-off than some of the others so his kids don’t feel like they’re suffocating. He lets them learn things for themselves, but makes sure they know they always have a (sort of) stable place to return to should they need it. 

(also, if there’s anyone else you’d like to see for this, I think I could probably expand on the list)

[nephriteknight]

Thoughts on Daggerheart!!

I'll admit I haven't really been following it until today, but after watching the videos released today I got very excited and ended up building a character and reading a lot of the book, as I am wont to do (might post about them later lol).

Now, full disclosure, I wouldn't say I'm all that familiar with the TTRPG space outside of D&D, so take my opinions with a grain of salt. That said, I've played D&D, Wanderhome, Alice is Missing, and the fan-made Hollow Knight TTRPG, and I've watched some AP of Kids on Bikes, Call of Cthulhu, Monsterhearts, and Candela Obscura, which is a longer list than I was expecting. Huh. Anyways, my thoughts!

I really like the duality dice! It's such an interesting way to do mixed success that incorporates story/character into mechanics, which is great.

Related to that, I also like Hope as a fluid resource, and I think that Fear is a nice way to both prompt GM action and to just create a fun sense of dread as the GM takes more tokens

The lack of turn order/action economy is... cool, and a really interesting idea, but my thoughts on this are complicated. As we're seeing in the oneshot right now, it really helps to keep combat as part of the story and give the players and GM room for creativity. (For example, Bunnie describing a counterstrike as part of her dodge, and being able to take it as soon as the GM's turn is over, as well as the tag team feature, which is very cool.) That said, I think this mechanic might not work so well with less experienced or less confident players, who might have trouble taking the initiative (heh) to act in combat (I know I certainly would if I wasn't playing with close friends). That's not really a criticism though -- this is a collaborative storytelling game, and part of playing it is making big moves and taking turns guiding the story. If that's not for you, then you might prefer a different system, which is fine! I think this mechanic has the potential to be really, really dope, but I also think it's the bit that has the most potential to go poorly in my eyes.

The art, design, and general aesthetic feel of this game are so unbelievably up my alley. I love it. That's all.

I'm excited to see that they're working on mechanics for playing disabled characters, but since they aren't out yet I can't really comment. (I did notice that the character in the bard art is in a wheelchair, which is dope.) Also, as others have noted, Daggerheart uses "heritage" and "ancestry" rather than "race", which is a small but good choice.

Personally, I also really like the choice to move away from precise measurements of distance and gold. This one is very much a personal preference, and I know some people will rightfully disagree, but I like it! As a DM, trying to determine the appropriate costs and rewards for things has always been a headache, and this seems much easier to manage; measuring distances with convenient and tangible measurements like the short side of a playing card or the length of a piece of paper also feels much easier to use.

The downtime mechanics are great! Each of the activities you can take prompts you to describe how you heal yourself or another, destress, repair armor, or prepare yourself for what's ahead, which really encourages quieter character moments both introspectively and with others. I'm a big fan of this. This combining of role play and mechanics is also present in other features, such as one of the major level 1 healing abilities, which is more effective if you spend the time it takes to cast learning something new about the person you're healing or sharing something about yourself.

I didn't look at this too closely because I was just making a character for fun and don't have a party to play with, but as part of character creation you're given questions about your relationships to your party members to answer. Wanderhome also has these, and they were MASSIVELY successful in creating depth and meaningful connections between players -- after our table's session zero I was already so invested in all our characters, and when we actually played them they really came to life. I haven't looked to closely at Daggerhearts version of this, but I'm very excited to see them.

The experience mechanic seems really fun and creative, and I especially like the idea of using a phrase rather than something specific. That said, when I played the Hollow Knight TTRPG, which also lets players create their own skills, the open endedness of it was more confusing than inspiring, and there was a lot of potential for a usefulness disparity between players. I do think Daggerheart explains it better, though, and limiting the use of experience with a Hope cost helps to counteract any choices that might be too broad, so hopefully it will work better

I probably have more thoughts, but it getting late and I have a headache, so that's all I'm saying for now :D

Overall, Daggerheart has combined a lot of things I've liked in other games with promising mechanics I haven't seen before, and I'm very excited to try it out. I'm now realizing that I just made a list of things I like without any negative feedback, which isn't what I wanted to do, but I'm not really sure what to criticize without having played it myself.

I'm most curious to see how the non-initiative mechanic works; it has the potential to be a really excellent solve for a major problem in D&D (plenty of people have talked about how initiative limits teamwork, can be boring when its not your turn, etc, so I won't get into it here), but I don't think it's a solution that will work for everyone. Of course, games can't work for everyone, and shouldn't try to. It's working really well on CR's oneshot as I write this, but making choices and sharing spotlight in TTRPGs is literally their job, so I'm not surprised this works for them. I could see this going really well with some tables I've played with, and really poorly with others. I'm still really optimistic, though; it seems like the kind of thing that with the right table could be really excellent.

[fanstuffrantings]

Ok there’s this fic I read where Lucy doesn’t do the s class trials because she becomes the temporary guild master and it’s her building relationships with other characters and making sure Fairytail doesn’t fall behind and I was wondering how that would work in your redesign and rewrite of Fairytail? I think it would make her and Juvia closer and allowing her to become more confident in herself as a mage and leader! (Also jellal is in that fic and it’s so cool how the two interact and it gave jude a redemption arc)

So short of it: within my rewrite it wouldn't fit, but that doesn't mean it's not an interesting concept to explore!

Longer explanation, starting with why i'd keep lucy not staying behind and also explaining how it would effect her dynamic with Juvia if she did stay behind:

while it's been years since I watched Tenrou Island, so much happens in that arc that I feel Lucy being absent would make it feel incomplete. Mashima isn't the best at showing it but she is the main character and should he present for canon major events that happen throughout the show timeline.

I really loved seeing her bond with Cana and I think the tragedy of her being just barely too late to see her father again was one of the few heavy plot points we got that actually made me emotional (shocker most of those moments happened when lucy got actual focus.) I also like the idea of us getting a fair bit of chapters showing the people that stayed behind and what was going on with them to lead up to the tenrou crew returning. So I think not having major players for a bit of the series to allow the side cast to shine would be really cool.

That said: how would lucy staying behind and eventually taking over as guild master change things in my opinion. I think we'd see Lucy bonding with a lot of characters she has minimal interaction with. Macao being one as he'd no doubt be the one to acknowledge her skill and potiential. Since Lucy is so young even in canon I don't think she'd actually get the role for a few years. She'd have a proving stage where she showcases her skills and gains the guilds trust as an authority.

For juvia, I've always imagined Lucy was one of the people who encouraged Juvia to befriend Droy, getting him to teach her about plants as a hobby which leads to Juvia joining shadowgear. I could see Lucy actually kind of integrating into shadowgear in the absence of her normal team and running missions with them to both improve her abilities and help people. They started out on very rough terms due to Juvia's obsession with Gray, but with Juvia actively working to change herself and figure out things she enjoyed, I think Lucy's friendly nature and incredibly supportive attitude when it comes to creativity would've lead to a strong friendship and trust forming. Lucy likely being the first person Juvia makes something for.

Now I can't really speak on jellal because it has been a hot minute since I watched any of his arcs and I honestly just kind of thought he was so-so as a teenager (no hate, just wasnt personally for me. Its one of the reasons im lacking in content for him rn 😔). But I do know he really was lacking in interactions with anyone on team natsu outside of Erza, so him and Lucy would be very interesting to see unfold.

All in all fun idea to play around with but within how I imagine canon not for me.

Thank you for the question and I hope this answered things for you!

[annbourbon]

🖤 ✨ 🖤 ✨ Rika ✨ 🖤 ✨ 🖤

Let's start with Rika...

⚠️possible spoilers ahead, be warned⚠️

I can't believe I actually didn't realize that. I mean, I did it. Like 7 years ago, but I had no clue on how to explain it.

Besides it needs from Mystic Messenger Timeline *which I'm still working on, and trying to finish* to actually make sense.

Disclaimer: Please take into account that whatever I say here, it's only my opinion after playing the game so many years. I'm not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, or therapist of any kind. I'm just a writer, who loves to spend time analysing characters and stories.

I did asked to my mom to help me with this and the other characters because of how difficult the task ahead of me was. My mom, who is an actual therapist, did her best to help me, but I did most of the analysis here, since I'm the one who knows the in's and outs of this game. Besides, I did my research and I'll make sure to quote it! So give it a chance and keep reading even if you disagree with me. And then, I'd love to read your thoughts on the topic 💕

Narcissus. Also known as daffodil.

Should I talk to you about the dark side of the flowers and tie it to MM characters?? Anyways, Rika is a narcissistic. But also has a profound trauma. One doesn't exclude the other. Here's a quote from Mayo Clinic:

«Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.»

Causes: The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:

Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements.

There are other two, that are genetic, and neurobiology causes, but I'll be focusing more on the environment, which let's be honest, it's what is displayed on the game. If you're interested on reading more about it, there's a link before the quote and, on References, I'll also be leaving every single link.

So let's go back to Rika and please read the next three images while remembering how's her relationship with V, and Saeran. Sometimes even with MC, and Mika.

As you can see...

Attention:

* Creates the RFA. Receives attention.

* Creates Mint Eye. Receives attention.

* Says V is her Sun.

* As soon as she gets tired, says V's killing her and wants to leave

* Wants to mix RFA and Mint Eye. I assume is because despite everything, she feels like she's losing attention on everything she created. And MC is the reason of that too.

They don't choose losers:

V is a millionaire

Jumin is a millionaire

Zen is super sexy and hot

Jaehee and the twins are really smart

Do I need to keep going? Even Elizabeth the 3rd is one of the most beautiful cats ever seen.

Grooming:

Here's the part that keeps bothering me because I realized about it before I could actually explain what it was going on. Seven years ago I decided to play the game, and I finished feeling a bit too weird on how everyone was so infatuated with Rika... it wasn't any other person that just dies and then the group dies too. It was still active two years after losing her (?) Even though they have only know each other for... 4 to 6 years?

Some even less. Like Jaehee. Which randomly brings me to: She's an ENFJ so she does focus on details like Jaehee (Jaehee might be ISFJ, ISTJ or even ESFJ considering how well she manages around people too. But that's another story.) Her enneagram is probably 1.

I can understand Yoosung, but... you know what I mean. It was weird. And once I reached the first VN novel about V and Rika I felt even more weirded out by these two.

I don't think I can pinpoint it but I felt like Rika was manipulating V so I was surprised when I realized some members were tying these two as lovers and a beautiful couple. Do you guys remember V being surprised by Rika quoting "The Sun is the mother of all"?? Yeah... Even back then, for me it was a highlight of how messed up their relationship was. But again, I couldn't exactly pinpoint it. Until, now.

After Cheritz released Another Story, and Rika DLC, many of my theories came true. But still in a disorganized way. Which is why I created The Mystic Messenger Timeline.

I did confirmed one thing:

Rika is a narcissist and V is a people pleaser (that doesn't make him any less villainous of what he is, but I'll explain once we'll reach his profile. I promise.) at least at the very beginning of this story.

She probably has psychopatic tendencies

She definitely has sadistic and abusive tendencies: I have a hard time putting through her whole behavior during Saeran's Route and especially during his AE. But she takes pleasure in hurting others. V, Saeran, MC, Mint Eye associates, etc.

A bit of One on the Enneagram:

It is called The Reformer.

Because Ones have a “sense of mission” that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity—particularly moral adversity—so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after “higher values,” even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.

If you think I'm too far off, then please check the levels of healthy and unhealthy Ones can have. They sure ring a bit too much for me on Rika's behavior. From Level 1 to 9, we can see her evolution during the game. But here you have a couple of her worse traits.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.

Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrongdoing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.

Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of wrongdoers. Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders

If you want to know more about this, check this.

So, why do you (player) like Rika as character?

Because it's okay, I know people who actually like Rika. I don't, but I definitely don't hate her either...

You don't need to be worried about it as long as you know what she did was wrong. That's it. Now, why do you like her/identify with her?

Things that might, or not, ring a bell:

* Trauma: Rika has a traumatic past. And you might feel like it's a mirror of your past. Hence identifying with it might not be something difficult. Of course this doesn't mean you are leader of some religious cult.

* Her willingness to fight despite having everything at odds. Let's not forget that before she goes nuts and starts brainwashing people, she did a lot of great deeds. Tried to stay positive and all that.

* Her kindness (we can discuss over certain things, but as much as she did terrible things, she also did amazing things, like creating the RFA to help people. Wether she did it with a certain master plan in mind or not, she did helped as much as she hurt and that's the important part.)

* She's just a great villain! It might be hard to understand for some people but you actually just look at her character as what it is, a character, and you're impressed by how many discussions and hot debates she brings onto the table. Understandable!

* Her flower means forgiveness♡

Do you have any other ideas for why you might like Rika? I'd be happy to read them. 💕

Also, this might be one of my last post about her. Might not be the last but I do need to finish with the Mystic Messenger Timeline, and I will but I don't think I have a lot more material to write about. So thank you for sticking with me all this time! I'm linking the main post on MysMe theories I have, I still need to finish tying up all nicely. But we're coming to the end. I'm definitely talking about trauma, coping mechanisms, parenthood, childhood and societal pressures but it'll be in other posts, possibly not even linking them to this one. Who knows? Stay tuned~!

References:

Mayo Clinic - Narcissistic Disorder Personality

Between Narcissistic & People pleaser

Medium - Beware a narcissist with a hero complex

Paired Life - Hero & Narcissist

Enneagram Institute - One

[yangsharperavery]

my non carmy/sydney thoughts on season 2

it's very different than the first which is interesting bc the structure they had in the kitchen last season worked so seamlessly.

i think this season was lacking that frequency and flare. i think because of that it suffered a bit. i think the viewership did too for that reason.

it was nearly impossible to recreate the magic of the first season without the constant buzz and intensity and immediacy of food service.

i do think that they still could have retained some of that energy by incorporating more demo/planning/training via the familiar staccato, regimented and frenetic pacing of the scenes WHILE also showing the more slowed down exploration of each character being pulled away to get the skills needed to advance the team and its mission.

but it's like they slowed the story telling all the way down immediately.

even opening with marcus and his ailing mother felt like such a specific and poignant choice in that vein.

almost like the theme of the season was going to be all types of grief, preemptive and reactive.

i think they dropped the ball having everyone so spread out over the course of the ENTIRE season and not making the ones that were together exist in the heightened energy we're used to from this show.

here are some things i loved about it:

•  richie's growth. i love an asshole character that is held to account, actually takes correction and impact and works to evolve and improve.

• marcus in copenhagen. he's so sweet and demure. i loved him getting the one on one attention. him exploring the city and staying on the boat. i was worried he'd be forgotten about in the story so its nice to see that someone bts fought for that not to happen.

• sydney's chicago food tour. the cinematography was STUNNING during these sequences. i read someone say that those moments felt like such a deliberate love letter to the culinary industry and i wholeheartedly agree like it made me SO happy to see.

•  the christmas bottle episode. listen. LISTEN. if you have ever lived in or been subjected to a nuclear family/household that operated like that, i know you watched that entire episode with a pit in your stomach. it was devastating and poetic and maddening and SO deeply fucking impactful. it painted the perfect picture of exactly why michael, natalie and carmy are the way they are. i SOBBED. and i lightweight think that's the episode that's giving this season such critical acclaim and the 100% on rotten tomatoes. it was SO strong and sooooo deeply harrowing.

• natalie's presence. i love her. just her being around was so comforting to to me. i enjoyed how sweet she was to fak.

• tina singing. they still underused her but i loved seeing her shine outside of her element and having the full support of her classmates. i love confidence baring moments for characters who've struggled, felt second or been ignored. that moment and sydney asking her to be sous were so special!

• the “bears are aggressive but sensitive, compassionate, deeply empathic” line. i've thought about it several times since finishing the season. because wow. also richie's dialogue about purpose. olivia coleman's character's conversation with richie about rebirth and timing. there are so many gorgeous lines that speak to the ingrained grief, brevity, import, ability and power of this human experience and all its many facets. the writer's really do SUCH a wondrous job highlighting the humanity of it's characters and their struggles, obstacles and heartache.

• the fucking chocolate banana. i absolutely CRIED. they need to stop playing around and calling this show a comedy because c'mon. that was such a good callback for cisero and richie.

•  pete crying. when i tell you that shit was so deeply powerful. to see him hurting so acutely for natalie. knowing how much he loves her and how much her mother's conditions impacted her entire life. so much so that she hadn't even known nat was pregnant. like that scene GUTTED me. the actor only had .3 scenes this season but that one was an absolute stand out.

• ayo's performance. this girl is an ACTOR. like i know she's a writer and a comedian but she is SO exquisite in the role of sydney. i'm endlessly enamored.

what i didn't like:

• them completely dropping the ball on ebra's storyline. so he disappears for WEEKS from fear and then returns and has a 3 second convo with tina? and then is all of a sudden back in an apron in the kitchen. please don't piss me off. wasteful.

• lack of gary screentime. he should have had as much screentime as fak minus the christmas episode. sidelining two of the black men was foolish and wholly unnecessary.

• the AMOUNT of claire/carmy scenes. like i totally get it. i get why it had to happen, i get the point they were trying to make and the consequences they were driving home but the sheer enormity of the claire/carmy scenes and how LONG they were was dumb. we could have been shown carmy was distracted/absent without having to see those two together for these elongated ass scenes. and them kissing in front of the fireworks? like GAG me. PLEASE BE SERIOUS RN.

• i need to see my babies breaking bread and having found family dinner at least once per season, if not more. thx.

this is just part 1, part 2 will be carmy/sydney focused.

[zhiroaesthetics]

Writing Commissions 🔛🔝

I want to write more, but I lost all the outlines that I created in the past two years, in which most of them I had started their drafts. Naturally, my morale tanked, but I don’t want for that to stop me on the path to consistency. So I’m opening commissions, yippe!

Pricing $0.02/word; 500 words minimum. (500=$10, 1000=$20, 1500=$30, 2000=$40, etc.)

Type SFW and NSFW Pairings written in Second/Third Person. Most flexible with F(Reader)/M and F(Reader)/F. Open to OC/Canon. Least flexible with Male Reader/Focus and Genderfluid/Non-binary Reader/Focus. I don’t do Canon/Canon or M/M.

Series If they’re not present then it’s more than likely because I’d write a character from the series as opposed to anything from the series (i.e. Raging Loop, 91 Days, Mononoke) so just ask about a character if their series isn’t present.

Gacha Games

Fate/Grand Order

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Langrisser (My ability to do the request depends on me having the character due to a lack of online material and the inability to backread)

Granblue Fantasy (I like enough of the cast to speedrun side stories to understand plot references/setting)

Arknights (I don’t play the game but I have two friends that do and I don’t mind annoying them about context. NGL it’s here because I pray for a Chongyue request-)

Fire Emblem Heroes (I can’t do anything story specific because I never read it)

Video Games

Fire Emblem (Awakening, Fates, knowledgeable about Sacred Stones and Engage)

King of Fighters

Anime/Manga

Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)

Chainsaw Man (Manga - Part One)

Jigokuraku (Manga)

Record of Ragnarok (Manga)

Black Lagoon (Anime)

Baccano (Anime, Light Novels – 1-5)

Considerations

Communication. I have a computer science background, so I take everything literally and my mind blanks at “idk, do whatever you want”.

My Writing Approach. People talk a lot in my stories and though I do it to showcase dynamics, I also do it to pace myself. To prevent overlap and incoherency, I significantly limit my reliance on exposition. I rarely start my stories with it, and I will more than likely write in media res if the requested word cap is on the shorter side.

Expressing Limitations. No does not mean that the idea is bad or that you should be ashamed, but that I don’t feel confident in being able to properly execute it.

Hard Limitations. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone that is on Jeffery Epstein’s flight list, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone who wouldn’t mind posting it on Live Leaks, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by someone who would wave around a confederate flag, then please don’t request. If it’s an idea that would be concocted by a dark humor connoisseur, then please don’t request. I’m also very big on boundaries and trust, so please don’t request ideas with the following elements:

Rape/Non-Con

Drugging

Kidnapping

Payment ko-fi.com/zhiro

Delivery PDF in 12 pt Times New Roman. I’ll post (via ao3) if requested.

Process Please do not request for a commission if you’re uncomfortable with sending money before receiving the commission. Only send the payment once I confirm that I will be writing the commission; I will refund otherwise. It takes 1-3 months for me to finish works, and I’ll do my best in sending a progress report/the premise seven days after confirmation. My drafts are pretty messy, so I won’t be showing them, but I’ll give updates throughout. Please do not request for a commission if you’re dubious about the process.

References archiveofourown.org/users/zhiro/pseuds/Araceli%20Selkie

If any of the above changes, I’ll post the update and edit this post. Thank you for taking your time to read this. Please consider commissioning me, I like to think I’m decent enough.

[blazingblorbos]

Okay Genshin 4.1 thoughts dump because if I don't compile my thoughts somewhere I will literally implode. Anyways, spoilers for the Fontaine Archon Quest so far (as of Chapter 4, the Version 4.1 update) under the Read More (a couple paragraphs under, but you catch my drift)

So. Something I have always absolutely adored about Genshin's storytelling is the way it goes about presenting its gods as "Human too"...

At first, it was seen painfully obvious through Ei and her incredibly human response to grief and trauma (a lot of people thought she was being unreasonable, and yeah for a ruler of an entire nation, closing yourself off to the outside world certainly seems - and is - irresponsible. And then... you consider how easily any other normal person would have done the same thing, if not worse, if they had lost nearly everyone they loved in quick succession, while also being personally responsible for a handful of those deaths).

And upon further reflection on the topic, you can see blatant traces of it present in every archon. And I don't just mean their trying to blend into/ further their understanding of humans, human society, and human nature.

I mean, Venti is kinda hedonistic and aloof; Zhongli wasn't always as wise and so intricately-versed in his knowledge about so many things - before the Archon War, he was more of a brute who preferred to solve things head-on (literally) as opposed to thinking things through; Nahida- oh don't even get me started on Nahida. Her self-doubt and insecurity as a result of facing constant beratement and feelings of inferiority to Rukkhadevata; her constant desire to learn more (both for her namesake as the God of Wisdom, to prove herself, and for her own curiosity's sake); her child-like nature (as a result of her research and human observation ofc!!! but still adorable none-the-less; I mean "dook-dook" !?! come on!)...

But now with Furina, oh. I think we've entered a BRAND NEW level and it's part of the reason why I absolutely love her so much.

In classic good-story-telling practice, Genshin achieves all of this through "show-not-tell" and it's world-class ability of characterizing its characters (IN MY OPINION ! I love them so much, okay?). And from the second I MET this girl to the very last line of 4.1's archon quest, it has been made painfully abundant to me that

Furina is just a child.

She has. NO IDEA what she's doing!!! Now, the underlying reasons for this have yet to be seen, and will most likely be tackled in the very next Archon Quest chapter, but if you'll allow me to speculate right now... Knowing that Egeria also conducted trials for citizens who broke the law (meaning she should have also been a God of Justice), I believe whole-heartedly that it was her who built the entire system Furina and Neuvillette are running right now. Meaning, I'm confident Furina has absolutely nothing to do with it. The ONLY (and I think I truly mean ONLY) thing Furina did in the time since she inherited the role was: change the perception of what justice and its deliverance should be into something a lot more akin to a dramatic play, only enacted for people's enjoyment.

Which includes her lack of knowledge on the Oratrice. Furina didn't create it. How could she? She's so utterly ignorant on what it is, how it works, and dare I say what it's truly even for.

The moment I read this statement I convinced myself that it had to have been the previous Hydro Archon. And while I concede that: looking back on the wording of this statement now, it seems like its existence would only be beneficial under someone like Furina's ruling… But, I'm willing to just chalk that up to "Egeria had great future-sight" (or something more along the lines of: she trusted the machine to help keep her in check so false charges were less likely; and it just so happens that its decision making is carrying the court system now under Furina’s rule).

Like many things related to Fontaine's history, it would seem, Egeria being solely responsible for the creation of all these staple facilities and aspects of the nation's inner workings would shed light on why Furina is so unknowing. She had nothing to do with it. And while I'm no envoy from Celestia, so I have no insight as to what the hell happens when a new Archon is born to fill in the void that was left, I think that whatever that process is (IF THERE EVEN IS ONE) went completely awry for Furina. She probably didn't even inherit the Gnosis - ever ! I'm thinking it's stuffed into the Oratrice somehow/somewhere. I'm thinking the "curse" Arlecchino sensed has something to do with that process of inheritance (or... lack thereof) going so wrong.

It’s obvious that Furina is running from something. Ignoring something. Distracting herself from the realities of the world with the “spectacle of the courtroom” (as Dain put it). And it’d be easy to just chalk it up to her being a little bitch with no deeper meaning but I don’t think that’s it.

Genshin doesn’t make it gods “just human”. They spend their time trying to prove that they’re “Human too”.

The underlying reasons for it have to lie in whatever happened when Furina was born. Cursed. Whether it was a curse to end up alone (as per the prophecy), or to never obtain the powers becoming of a god in this world... Whatever happened, it overwhelmed Furina to an unbearable degree, and naturally, like any Human would... she resorted to escapism. She found entertainment in the trials headed at the court room, realized she could make people like her by being this mascot of justice, and upon learning that it's only a matter of time before all of her subjects turn into puddles and she'll be left all alone… she decided to just- NOT think about it!! Who would?! That is a horrifying! revelation.

THAT is why she's so scared to fight - literally anyone!! She doesn’t have the power (and if she does she’s never had to use it).

THAT is why she’s turned out this way - a brat with very little humility, never knowing when to stop the act - because for centuries she’s lived in this little Lala-Land of a bubble denying the inevitable. A fate she was cursed with from the moment she inherited the title of “God”. She wasn’t really given powers, she wasn’t given dominion, and she most certainly hasn’t received instruction, or… ANY!?! HELP!! it seems, in understanding what it means to be an Archon (perhaps even in spite of those other perks she was “supposed” to receive.)

Born to be a god, yet being set up to suffer the loss of your entire people with almost no power to change it? That would fuck anyone up, even an Archon.

And it’s the way that they’ve shown how it’s fucked with Furina that blows my mind.

She’s so disconnected that Arle’s assassination attempt shocked her to her core. She’s a GOD!! Who would try to assassinate her (aside from the Fatui)!? She’s never had to even perceive the notion of being a target of something like that. Stack that on top of her general sense of helplessness in the greater context of what’s happening to her nation, and it makes sense that she broke down crying later that night... :(

Girlie just needs some help </3

[mosscreektarot]

Hello! I am here to join the reading giveaway! My question is pretty open ended but if I were a popstar, what would be my niche like what's the vibe you're picking up on? Genre, show style, hairstyle, outfits, anything that comes to mind. Thank you! I hope you're doing good, you're a very talented reader!!! Happy birthday!!! 💕

Hi! I love this question! This is gonna be fun to answer!!

Strength, The Hanged Man, 3 of Coins, 5 of Cups Reversed, Knight of Coins Reversed, Judgement, Knight of Wands, Three of Swords, The Fool, Eight of Cups,

I'm actually getting kind of a punk princess vibe for your aesthetic/theme. Like beautiful, ethereal but with a hard edge too. Kind of like some of Billie Eilish's music where she has that very soft lovely voice and can also add the creepy (?) factor. Very unique, you don't fit neatly into one genre, but take from multiple (maybe dark/experimental pop is a good descriptor but there's a LOT more going on) Think siren-songs with a lonesome high pitched voice but you're also able to absolutely SHRED on the guitar. While the lyrics can sometimes be sorrowful, your music goes HARD AF and is fun to dance to. Perhaps the most apt description I can give you is "An Angel on Fire".

There's a BIG emphasis on your hair, very long and wild, like you've spent your whole life wandering the forest as a huntress. Or, alternatively a mermaid who has been luring sailors to their deaths on the rocks. Kind of spooky, made even more otherworldly by how well you pull it off. This could involve wigs or you just naturally have very long luscious locks that are the envy of everyone.

Your costumes are kind of renaissance themed, long gorgeous gowns with corsets and beautiful flowing sleeves. You often play a character from a fairy-tale, or even someone from old ghost stories like La Llorona, so using historical fashion seems to fit the bill best for you.

Many of your songs are about loneliness, heartbreak, going through trauma or hindering your own abilities because you feel you can't live up to the expectation of others. Beyond that, there's the overcoming of the judgement and the triumph of learning to trust yourself and stand on your own, alone. Love songs aren't really your niche, you're kind of anti-love song~ it's all about the journey of the Self in your music. Your music revolves around confidence or lack-thereof and you gain a cult following for your clever wordplay and haunting vibe.

Shows are CRAZY. There are background dancers in monstrous costumes, like you're the main character of a fairy tale. Lots of special effects and choreographed "fight" scenes where you do your own stunts. Production costs are insane so you don't get to tour as much as you'd like, so you end up relying more on music videos than touring to earn money. You actually end up enjoying making the videos more, because you're able to amp up the power of your imagery and have a LOT more creative control.

Thank you for your ask! I hope you enjoyed this reading ^_^ !

[alexissara]

Baldur's Gate 3 - Amazing and Sometimes Awful [Quick Review]

Baldur's Gate 3 is a herculean feat of game development with amazing voice acting work spread across it's many many hours, fantastic character designs, interesting gameplay and more. It also suffers from D&Ds character progression systems, the way the games worlds are set up, and the system of true RNG that it is emulating. Beyond that the game despite it's own beauty is extremally buggy and faces significant late game performance issues. However, the game does some stand out things for queerness that a lot of other RPGs fail at. This game is a mixed bag that might also be game of the year.

With over 122 hours logged into the game I feel fairly confident in my ability to access what I experienced but given how big of an undertaking it is I genuinely think someone else's experience may be different. I chose to not side with either the grove or the goblins and moved onto act 2 without doing that and that may have added to the count of bugs but the fact that was an option means that it isn't "My fault" that I experienced so many bugs on my playthrough. I had party members despawning, quests saying I could do something that I couldn't do because the NPCs were not in the area they were supposed to be, getting ques for things that should have went into act 3 that were missing, in the end of act 3 characters missing from the end bits and at the very end textures just all vanishing for my last few hours.

I didn't really get to experience the romance the game had to offer. I started a fling with Lae'zel which apparently locked me out of most other romances but randomly gave me a Wyll Romance scene, a man I never deployed not once the whole game. I realized playing the game I didn't long rest enough and missed out on my chance to romance Shadow Heart whom I really wanted to romance and even though I broke things off with Lae'zel I could never progress a romance with Shadowheart, Karlache or Minthara. I want to feel this romances and see everything they have to offer but sadly the game denied me this.

The game lacks body diversity and the limited pallet of faces feels too limited in character customization. There is sadly no time in which despite being able to have a trans body I am able to talk to someone about being trans that I found not am I ever able to reject a romantic advance by stating my sexuality or disinterest in a gender. Instead it is taken as read that I am bisexual and that I am rejecting them for them and not because like from the onset they weren't on the table for my desires. I am however, not a bisexual but a lesbian and I would love to be able to say that.

That said this game does make strives to doing something I've not really seen other games do with playsexual characters which is to make them have queer history. I didn't get every characters backstories but I did get backstories for Astrian and for Shadowheart which both imply that previous to our adventures they had mostly been with their own gender. Astrian has a litany of male lovers which he courted and gave to his master, he seems to prefer men and he describes his attraction to them. Meanwhile, Shadowheart seems to have had a girlfriend before her memories were removed, perhaps an ex that was a Transgender Woman who turned to Sharr although this is more subtextual than Astrian's due to her memory loss.

These little bits of queer history make them feel much more lived and their sexualities not feel like it was because I am super special but because they are earnestly queer and I happened to have the kind of personality and body their attracted to. There is also some amount of queer NPCs not tied to our PCs although they are in the minority in a majority heteronormative cast.

The game does make some strives to fix some of the things that are terrible about D&D removing the alignment system allowing for characters to simply exist in a much more complex moral web than a box of 9 check marks for morality lets you do and a toning down of racial abilities which helps lessen D&Ds inherent eugenics. However, it does not escape D&D's racism problem with the game mostly having a lot of the characters be racist good and bad and not having counter examples of races like Goblins being good or like an important good drow or something. The companions "Racial" make up are very classic fantasy squad. 2 Elves, 2 half elves, 3 humans, 1 Drow, 1 Gith. In terms of race as we see it in the real world we got one black character and everyone else is pretty white or are a fantasy skin color and white coded maybe baring Lae'zel but idk what Lae'zel's culture is supposed to represent if there is a real world equivalent. Of course also everyone in the world able bodied and skinny or maybe if they are the right race buff. I haven't seen everyone fuck but it appears to me that everyone is cisgender. The game can't do everything but I certainty wish the game did more. The probably most offensive to me being the promoted and marketed Polyamory simply not existing and came from their own misunderstanding of the word, you can fuck around you at least in my experience can't be in multiple committed romantic relationships. That should be fixed given they marketed the game and I don't even need them to address each other just allow it to happen since it was sold to me on the idea I could kiss multiple girls romantically.

There is a total sense of wonder in doing the game thing in new ways and seeing all the ways you can handle situations and all the different outcomes. From multiple files to save scum stuff to hearing people talk about their runs I've seen tons of different ways even my highly buggy end game which did not run well I could see where if it wasn't having all the running issues I had I would have been blown away by all the options they gave me for the last 3 battles of the game. I still thought it was really cool even when it was bugging out. The game constantly threw fun new things at you, little challenges, great moments of roleplaying where it feels like your choices mattered and you could do something cool to get out of a situation. This game might be the game that has most successfully captured the magic of roleplaying in a video game.

The characters being a stand out factor in this in that I found several of the characters to be highly compelling even one man which if you know me is a massive accomplishment. I found Astrian's plot to be really captivating, I really loved Shadowheart's story, I thought some of the NPC stories were really well done too, as a character focused story teller I loved the character work that went into even characters I wasn't particularly in love with. Everyone feels like they can grow and grow in different ways too for bad or for good and often even pretending a pretty objectively bad choice can be flavored with enough deniability to understand why someone might make that choice as a character and not just like because video game let me choice bad choice. I think the characters stories make up a coherent theme I really wanna dive more into but will be restrained on here. They all deal with control. Everyone is dealing with different levels of someone's strings on them and a different relationship to those strings. How those relationships change and evolve over time is really compelling and how they compare to each other is really great. Overall, I love BG3, I think it might be my favorite game I played so far this year [but I do have a backlog, Stray Gods, En Garde!, Super Lesbian Animal RPG] and one of my favorite games in general. IF not for it's massive file size I think it's a game I'd keep installed all year round and just randomly jump into all the time. For now I am still playing, still enjoying but more than anything I am hoping by the time I beat the game a second time it is a lot smoother. If you enjoyed this kind of One Take review let me know, I wanted to try my Yuri manga format for a video game review because nobody reads my game reviews but I felt like I wanted to talk about the game. So instead of putting the huge amounts of work into the review like I normally do I wanted to just try this. If you did enjoy it one way to let me know is by supporting me on Patreon or Ko-fi or you can just reblog or comment. I might revisit the game with a more in depth review or looks more in depth at how it handles queerness or about the story and other stuff like that.

[words-after-midnight]

15 questions tag game

Character interview edition: Gabriel

Tagged by @eternalwritingstudent (I've been tagged three times recently, doing them in the order I was tagged). Thank you!!

I've already done this game for myself (it's here, if you're curious), so I'll let some of my main characters have the floor. First up: Gabriel, the protagonist of my main wip, Life in Black and White. [Note: Gabriel is very emotionally guarded, self-deprecating, and lies habitually. I will clear up any lies that may arise in author's notes.]

Tagging (to do either for yourself or an OC!): @sunset-a-story, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @winterandwords, @catchingbigfish, @ls-daydreams, @angelsofprey, @frostedlemonwriter, @nanashi23.

1. Are you named after anyone?

No, thank god.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't know. I'm not really a crier. [A/N: Abject lie lol.]

3. Do you have kids?

No. Maybe someday, if I can get to a place where I'm stable enough, both personally and financially.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm's the PG-rated version of my middle name, according to a friend of mine.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes, usually.

6. What's your eye color?

Hazel.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Both, even though I don't think happy endings are all that realistic, to be honest. Most of the time, anyway. They're nice to imagine, though.

8. Any special talents?

I'm perceptive, I guess? I'm good at reading facial expressions. Not sure that's a talent. [A/N: It's absolutely hand-eye coordination, but he thinks he's "clumsy" because his movements usually aren't ~fluid~ or whatever. Like, he stumbles around and drops shit sometimes, but I'd put money on him beating almost anyone at darts.]

9. Where were you born?

In a hospital. (Non-smartass answer: Scranton, Pennsylvania.)

10. What are your hobbies?

I really like to read, and I play a few musical instruments, but I'm pretty out of practice on the latter since I've been out of school. Other than that, I like hanging out with my friends, playing video games, watching movies, all that good stuff. Sometimes go hunting or to the shooting range. I like going to Borders and on coffee runs with friends. I'll hike or walk around town with friends when I have the energy. Is going on random trips in the boonies blasting music in the truck a hobby? I don't know, my life's pretty boring.

11. Have you any pets?

Nah, my sister's allergic to cats and dogs, so I didn't grow up with them. I'd be down to have one at some point, but I've always worried I wouldn't be that good or consistent at taking care of it, so ideally it'd be shared with a partner or roommate or whatever.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

*cackles* Have you met me? [A/N: He thinks he's terrible at sports. I think he'd be decent at quite a few sports tbh, but he lacks confidence in his own abilities.]

13. How tall are you?

About halfway between 5'10" and 5'11". [A/N: he's barely 5'10". He just refuses to admit that he's a full inch shorter than Jeff (in part because Jeff doesn't him live that inch down).]

14. Favorite subject in school?

English and biology.

15. Dream job?

I don't really have one, to be honest. I'm good at science, so I could see myself doing something in science or in the medical field.

[semi-sketchy]

I was the anon who sent the question about asking about your OCs and rest assured! I definitely meant the latter—as a fellow creative, I totally understand lacking the energy to draw out every ask or rping as them lmao. (I would die!)

My question is about Tara who is definitely my favorite of your characters so far. I remember you mentioning that Tara was very upset when she found out when she was pregnant and even was mad with Rocky for a bit. This may be a vague question so my apologies if it's tricky to answer, but can you give us some more insight on Tara's relationship with motherhood? Was there a point in her pregnancy where she accepted that she was going to be a mom and even begin to love her children, or did that come more so after their birth? Did she love them instantly or did it take time?

How did Tara’s experience with her family effect how she saw having children? Will her parents and siblings ever meet her kids? What would her parents think of Rocky and their offspring?

SORRY THIS IS SO MUCH FIEKCJKA. I just love exploring family dynamics and you put so much thought into them.

HO BOY DO I HAVE NOTES SO BUCKLE UP THIS'LL BE A LONG ONE

So Tara has a really bad relationship with her family, some trauma that lingers from their constant belittlement still causes her some problems (I wrote a lot about that in her family's bios which you can read here if you haven't already). She is very prideful and confident in her abilities, but it's her character traits that she suffers insecurities about. She's very closed off and avoids showing vulnerability, even to those she's closest with, which masks as a bad attitude. This makes little moments where she shows compassion towards others (mostly kids she sees parts of her past self in) a little shocking.

(Just a snippet that came to mind, nothing else exists but this here. Context is just Cali went missing while Rita was alone so everyone's helping to find her, except they don't want to bring Rita into possible danger.) Rita: Wait! I wanna come, too. Nami: Sorry, kiddo, this isn't an adventure for you. You'll be better off here where it's safe. Rita: But--! Byte: Nami's right. We don't know what we're going to get into. We can't risk putting you in danger. Tara: Oh, let the kid tag along. Byte: Tara? Tara: Come on, you can ride with me. Rita: Thanks, Miss Tara! *leaves* Byte: Tara....why? Tara: It's not like you two were getting anywhere with her. Besides, she just wants to help. Nami: I didn’t expect from you, Tara. What's gotten into you? Tara: Just get in the car.

Even though Rocky is very kind to her, she knows she's jaded. She fears that she's mistreating him and he'd be better off alone. Being aro/ace plays into this as well because Rocky loves her and while she cares very deeply about him, she physically can't reciprocate those feelings. This is why she was so hesitant to marry him and even pushed him away when he wanted to start a relationship. You can imagine, but being the mother of his children is quite the big step to take when you have these doubts and it happened so early in their marriage.

“Tara, you okay?” Ryder asked. She nodded with a yawn. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” “She’s been complaining about being tired for days,” Skye added. Tara looked over and shot a death glare at Skye. “Really, I’m fine.” “I think you better sit this one out, Tara, you’re not well,” Ryder said. She stood up in protest. “But--” “We can handle it,” Byte interrupted, “you can watch the pups.” She stomped her foot and growled. “I’m a rescue dog, not a babysitter! Look, I just haven’t been sleeping well, that’s no reason to take me out of action!” “Tara, we sometimes handle dangerous situations, we can’t afford not to be at our best during it,” Ryder responded. “Go and rest, we’ll see to you once the mission is over.” Hanging her head, she stalked over to the door, grumbling with each step. “Now pups, we have reports of an underwater volcano becoming active--” Tara quickly walked backwards and sat herself back in her spot. “Ready for deployment.” Ryder sighed, having trouble reasoning with his stubborn dog. “Marshall, see that she gets some rest and a wellness check.” “Yes sir!” Marshall stood up and went over to Tara, nudging her to move it. “H-hey!” she protested. “You’re dealing with a volcano, you need me!” “Don’t worry, I can cover for you,” Nami piped up. “After all, I deal with natural disasters, so I have some knowledge of volcanoes. You take it easy.” Her brows furrowed, she let Marshall lead her outside.

She was upset because she wasn't ready for that step, she wasn't ready to put aside her duties, the one thing she had confidence in, to start a family, which is why she lashed out and blamed Rocky at first. She couldn't cope with the reality and took it out on him.

She already had fears about being a bad partner, but now she also had to deal with the fear of following in her parents footsteps and hurting her children the way she was hurt. She may seem snarky and uncaring most the time, but she also works to try and make sure no one goes through what she did. If that means a confrontation, she'll step in without a second thought. She doesn't care what someone does to her, she's already been damaged, but she can't sit idly by and let that happen to someone else.

The weight of her children's happiness falls on her and she doesn't trust herself with it. She knows she's rough, she knows she's grumpy and blunt, she knows she won't be what they need or deserve.

She goes through this alone because while she has made progress, she still has trouble expressing her feelings and wants nothing more than to isolate herself. Rocky knows she's afraid and wants to help her, but all the reassurance in the world can't undo the programming from her childhood, especially in such a short timeframe.

Though when the time finally comes...she's left with wonder and amazement. She still carries these fears, but she learns to love her children in spite of them.

Tara slowly blinked open her eyes, feeling rather warm with Rocky snuggled up beside her back. She stirred slightly as she lifted her head, looking out the door to see the dawn breaking over Adventure Bay. “Y-you’re awake…” Rocky’s voice caused her to jump slightly in surprise as she turned to him, a confused look on her face. He looked at her with hope gleaming across his face, but he slowly lost the expression as Tara continued to stare at him blankly. “…You don’t remember what happened last night, do you?” She slowly shook her head. “It’s…okay. It’s for the better. You had a rough time, Marshall wasn’t sure you could pull it off, but you did.” He licked her cheek and drove his gaze down to the two pups pressed up against her. She watched the newborns as their chests slowly rose and fell next to her flank, her expression easing in the silence. “They’re…beautiful…” “A boy and a girl, one of each,” Rocky stated as he got up and walked over to his little pups. “I was thinking of names… So the boy will be Rocky jr. and the girl will be Tara jr.” She furrowed her brows, shooting an annoyed glare at him. “No.”

She makes mistakes, she's not perfect, but she is not her parents.

Her family relations weren't good and they don't get better now. Even though not all of her siblings were outright cruel, the fact is none ever came to help her or stop the cruelty, which only enabled the behavior. They're the reason she was afraid of the water for a while and never learned how to swim.

Since joining the PAW Patrol, she's basically been able to avoid her family, not even inviting them to her wedding. She has no interest in subjecting her kids to the environment she had to endure, so she's purposefully sheltered them from that. Although, she can't always protect them and family events happen.

Telsa pup: "My mom says all purebred dogs should be with other purebreds. That way we all turn out normal. You two mutts? You’re disgusting." Roxy: "But I took bath today!" Brevon: "Are you really that stupid?" Roxy: "Huh? Why would you say something like that...?" Brevon: "I’m talking to that asshole, not you." Roxy: "Oh, in that case carry on."

It's a situation beyond her control, one she can't shelter her loved ones from.

A female Bernese Mountain Dog turned to him, wearing a white collar and bows on her ears. “How do you know Terra?” she asked in a posh accent. “O-oh, I’m Rocky, Tara’s wife-- I MEAN HUSBAND. Husband.” He felt kind of foolish for messing up on his own introduction like that. The female looked him up and down. “You mean you’re the loser she married?” “Ah, hahah,” he faked a small laugh, trying his best to make a good impression. “Yup, that’s me. W-who might you be?” “Telsa.” He paused, waiting for her to say something more about herself as few moments of awkward silence slipped by. “Hi!” Telsa turned away, going to mingle with her family and leaving Rocky alone. One of her siblings piped up, talking amongst his other brothers and sisters. “How did she ever land a guy?” “I kind of thought she was into girls…” The other male commented.

Her family is never gonna approve of her or her choices and she knows this. They'll be critical and pick at every aspect they can, including her family. They don't respect her, even after all she's accomplished, and they never will.

Telsa sat and watched as Tara struggled to get free from the horde of children. “My, you look...different.” “Wish I could say the same about you,” she said as she finally got on her feet, shaking her coat. “You’re still as ugly as ever.” “Come on, now, there’s no need to be rude. It’s Family Day, after all,” Telsa smiled. Tara rolled her eyes, sitting down and watching as the puppies dispersed. “Yeah, gotta love Family Day.” “Oh please, Terra,” she huffed, moving to sit next to Tara, “you hate every moment of this because these pups are better than yours.” “No, I hate them because they’re little shits.” “Well, they’re more well behaved than your two kids,” Telsa remarked. “Well at least I have only two and not twenty.” “I have nine, Terra,” she corrected. “You know, I have always wondered why you only had two unlike the rest of us.” She shrugged, turning her attention to her kids playing with their cousins. “Just blessed, I guess.” “I suppose it’s all for the better, though,” Telsa sighed. Tara cocked her brow. “What do you mean?” She sat up straight, wrapping her tail around her paws as she turned her attention to her sister. “Terra, you fell in love with a mutt.” “And?” she pressed. Her gaze shifted down, her tail nervously twitching. “Well, your pups…they aren’t…purebred…” “And...?” “They’re…mutteneses!” she blurted out. “And?” Tara pressed further. Her chest puffed out as she snapped her gaze back at Tara. “Well, at least my mate is a purebred!” “You mean inbred, you self-righteous cock,” she remarked. Telsa gasped as she stepped back. “How...dare you!” “What? It’s the truth,” she replied. “And don’t discount Rocky like that. He’s a very kind and smart father.” “Oh please, he can’t even spell your name correctly,” Telsa jeered.

Even though a few have grown up and want good relations with her, she can't forget what they allowed to happen and she can't forgive. She won't give them that leverage to walk back into her life or the chance to hurt those she's now closest to.

For the first time in a long while, Tara has something she deeply cares about, which just marks them as an easy sensitivity to exploit.

And no one does this better than her mother. Heidi puts on a mask of wanting the best for her children, but it always comes out in being highly critical of everything with her husband always backing her.

Tara: “Yeah, well I have other things to do.” Rocky: “Tara!” Tara: “Oh great.” Rocky: “Are these your parents?” Tara: “Yes. Meet Heidi and Alpine. Mom, Dad, this is my husband, Rocky.” Heidi: “…You never did have good taste in men.”

Tara thinks so highly of Rocky, she knows how good he is and how hard he tries to be the best father he can, but all her family chooses to see is a trash mutt.

Brevon and Roxy are somewhat accepted, them being kids it's easier not to blame them for who their parents are. Heidi loves her grandbabies, but they aren't immune to the bias that follows Tara and this is evident by how indifferent Alpine is towards them, often refusing to acknowledge their existence.

Tara's family views her as a disappointment, a scorn on the family name, and her husband and kids are nothing more than an extension of that.

WHEW okay I warned you that was a lot. I didn't feel the need to go super into the family dynamics since I already wrote about that and some of this was taken from a WIP fanfic I plan to eventually finish, so it'll be further explored then.

Thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to ramble though because I genuinely love these characters and sharing them so much.

[the-enby-bird]

I see you reblogged an ask thingy, so if you're up to answering (I know I'm including a lot, feel free to only answer a few), I shall ask:

"🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?"

"🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?"

"✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉"

"🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?"

"🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?"

"🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?"

"💖 What made you start writing?"

"❌ What's a trope you will never write?"

"🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?"

"🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?"

"💞 Who's your comfort character[s]?"

"🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them."

"😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?"

"📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?"

Forgot I reblogged this post lmao

Sorry this took so long I never got the notification for this

~~~

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

That moment when a character who's trying to be strong and confident, or convince others that they're okay, loses the ability to do that. It's not something that shows up a lot in my published work, more in the top secret angst fics/drabbles, so, but it's always jdladhlshflsjf to read and right, y'know? Also when a character just fucking collapses for any reason and the other one just,,,, picks em up in a bridal carry and is just over there like,,,,, "you're okay babe" and I. *Sob bing*

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

So it's a really old scene, and it only made me laugh cause I was kinda high on anesthetic, but there's this one scene in the old version of Destined that has,,,, Horror and somebody else? Joking around with Cross as a form of comfort, I thought it was funny at the time. Looking back it's kind of. Um. Cringy, for lack of a better word, but in my defense I was 13

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Um. So this is really something that shows up in my shorter fics, the ones that I don't publish, (generally cause they're vent fics lmao) but sometimes my writing is like,,, really poetic, and I think it's nice. Also, just. For someone my age, and who's been writing as long as I have, I'm. Not terrible. I've improved, and I love that.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I listen to music 24/7 and the song that's on repeat really depends on my current mood and interest-- there's not really any right now that I can think of, but I'm sure my poor Spotify has things to say about my constant listening to Poor Man's Poison

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Yeah, a ton of people! Just none of them write Undertale, or at least not the same kind of Undertale, as I. Their writing is fabulous anyways, and it's nice to have people irl who I don't need to fear judgement from! <3

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I love writing late at night, and frankly inspiration oft fails to flow when it's not night. However, since school generally stops me from writing late at night- I need my beauty sleep- I also enjoy evenings and early mornings.

💖 What made you start writing?

Frankly, I haven't the slightest! That was so long ago that I have no clue anymore. My guess is it was a combination of my childhood love of reading and my overactive imagination; and a desire to put my thoughts somewhere solid. I've been "writing" since I was a toddler, but I truly got into it when I was 11/12. Far too long for me to remember.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I don't much like enemies to lovers, but not enough to never ever write it. So, I guess there's not too many? To be honest, I don't really feel like I've explored different genres and tropes enough to give this one an answer.

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Not that I remember? I'm usually not much for long fics or heavy foreshadowing so they haven't had many chances.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Just keep writing. But- don't force yourself to write something if it's not making you happy to write. Most importantly: just keep going. It doesn't matter if it's good, or if it takes you months to write 100 words-- just keep going. If it's something that makes you happy, it doesn't matter if it's good. It just needs to be. Go tell your stories, babes, anyone who judges you is just a dick and not worth listening to anyways <3

💞 Who's your comfort character[s]?

Ough this list is so long. Um. Horror, Cross, Dust, Blue, Swap Papyrus, Fell Papyrus, Toriel, Dream and NM, my little oc Ash who I never talk about cause they're just a lump of self indulgent bs, and Lust

There's more but I'm too lazy to list em all

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

All of em? Mostly the older ones, but honestly I think I'd have an easier time listing which ones I wouldn't be too horrified about. (There's like. 3)

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

Nah, it's just not my vibe. It's. Hard to explain, and there's a lot of reasons, but it can all just be summarized in no.

My dream careers rn are as a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, baker or veterinarian!

[dzpenumbra]

5/31/23

Yep, it's late again. XD

What happened this time? I don't know... I kinda panic-rushed to start working on those prototype beads at... 2 fucking 30 in the morning. You know... as one does... And here I am, starting my journal at 4:44 AM, the birds filling the air with their cheerful song, the midnight blue of dawn slowly warming the sky.

The good news? I got a really cool design done on one of the beads. The bad news? My goal was to do 4 of them, and to Mod Podge at least one of them. And I clearly didn't. So... yeah.

The day just got away from me again. Like... ugh. It's just frustrating me. I seriously don't even sit down to have my coffee until like 5 PM, and I'm rarely done drinking coffee before 7. Where do the fucking hours go?!

Like... I barely spent any time in bed! I got up, I did yoga - the lower back and hip one I like - then I did a bit of a workout after, because I hadn't been doing them. I have this ritual of opening the window and then doing the coffee before yoga, so it steeps while I'm doing that. And then, after the workout, I go and make cereal and I sit down and... it's like 4:30. At least.

I mean... I did play Risk of Rain a bit... but just one run to go for an achievement, I don't think it took longer than an hour... Hmm... maybe that did take longer than I remember. Maybe that's the X factor. Hmm...

Welp... after all that, I went and showered. I put a clothes iron and a glass bowl to make another plant terrarium thing with in a cart on Amazon and never ordered it. I made dinner. I played music for a long time. I got really sucked into it too. I even opened Cubase and got ready to record and everything. But... I never pulled the trigger on it. Not until too late.

What's getting in the way? Twitch. I guarantee it. I'm just getting distracted. It's too fucking easy for me, it's so damn tempting. It's improv, it's comedy, it's drama, it's character-driven stories. How can I say no? I don't know, maybe I'm being a bit hard on myself.

I did an intense workout today, I snuck in some work hours late at night and I'm still kicking my own ass about not "being productive". <eyeroll> I need to chill with that shit.

The flowers really didn't have the same level of aroma tonight as they did yesterday... I wonder why that is?

Anywho, since it's so late, I'm just going to move along to tarot. And I'm counting this as work, because I honestly think I could give some good readings for people, and I plan to try in the near future on stream. I would offer in-person, but... I don't even have a table in my apartment. We'll see.

Past - Ace of Wands, inverted (Inspiration, creativity, fresh ideas.  The seed of confidence you need to embark on a new creative journey.) Present - Six of Cups, inverted (Nostalgia, memories, past relationships.  Learning from and reconciling with the past, to create a better future.) Future - IV: The Emperor (A powerful, dominant, strategic and protective figure of great influence and reach.  Symbolically, important changes, a shift in power, new responsibilities or authority. Adjacently symbolizes stability.)

I swear I shuffle and cut these every time. I even looked through the top of the deck to see if there were any other familiar cards from last night there. I guess these symbols are important!

So... last night we explored my connection between the Emperor in Past... and an inverted Ace of Wands in Present. Now we're looking at that inverted Ace of Wands as the catalyst. My inability to access my creativity: having creative block, me restricting or censoring myself, whatever the reason... That leads to a dysfunction in my ability to reflect on the past. Something gets fucked up there. Or... my nostalgia turns dark... That was the first thing I felt when I learned what the card meant. Like... how I struggle with nostalgia because... it's rarely good memories. It's like a minefield of trauma and painful emotions. So... I'm guessing my lack of confidence in my creative self can be a direct route to that. And... if that's out of whack? The Emperor comes out. I mean, why wouldn't he. He's the father figure, the protective guardian, the lord. And, in essence, that's not necessarily a bad thing... but... if we put that in the context of the reading last night about the Emperor having a strong tendency to cause inverted Ace of Wands to happen... That's a feedback loop right there.

When I struggle to connect with my creative spark, or lack the confidence to engage with it, I end up looking back to the Past in ways that are... not helping. Hopeless longing, or dreading, even spite. "I didn't used to be like this." "I never used to struggle like this." "I used to have friends to help with this." Shit like that, which just sends me spiraling into all the shit that comes with those memories, all the attached nightmares, all the ghosts haunting those houses. And the reaction to this? The Emperor comes out to keep order. The "alright, what's going on here, we're supposed to be working, right? How productive have we been today? What's on the whiteboard? You can think about that stuff later if it's important" voice. And he's good at keeping emotions at bay... for the moment... But what last night said was... when he comes out... it tends to actually either reinforce or even cause a blockage between me and my creative spark. Or, at very least, my confidence to take creative risks. And this can result in a great outpouring of emotion. Ironic, eh? XD

Welp... that's a bit of a cluster fuck, isn't it? Hmm... so... if there's anything I've learned this week. I gotta work on my inner parent. I need to let myself wander a bit more, and be okay with a few days of meandering. I need my inner parent to focus more on... constructing larger scale plans. Like... some form of day structure... like developing strategies to get to bed earlier, constructing hypothetical scenarios where I'm working and enjoying myself, finding ways to get me outside more. Shit like that. And less... self-policing. If I had a good foundation, a healthier framework, I wouldn't need to self-police at all. So... that's my solution. Instead of going "oh no, don't ever listen to the Emperor" or whatever... to give little tweaks customized to how I know my personality works. Something that seems doable.

But for now, I'm off to bed.