#i took a migraine med which is the only thing keeping me from having a meltdown fr

[handweavers]

at the airport and i have a migraine so severe that my migraine has a migraine. absolute sensory hell

[httpdwaekki]

migraine | b.c.

summary: you were known to have pretty intense migraines but chan is there to help you feel better.

wc: 1.9k

warnings: no warnings, just pure fluff, tad bit of hurt/ comfort, sweet channie as always, and in true ashton fashion far too many petnames lmao. very lightly proofread (p.s. i am in my wolfchan lover arc, need him immediately.)

a/n: omg ashton got lost in the sauce again? * gasp* shocker! yeah this took me way too long to write but whatever. i actually don't hate this which is crazy but this is self indulgent because i get some pretty intense, nasty migraines that can last a couple days and it sucks. but if you suffer from the same thing i hope this can bring you some comfort and also i recommend a gel cap that you put in the freezer. an actual game changer, trust. anyway, i hope you enjoy! remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3

*lowercase intended*

my library

(pictures are not mine! credit to owners!)

you had some pretty nasty migraines, no secret to you or chan. they last anywhere from a few hours to a few days and while there were things to help lessen the pain and pressure, sometimes you just had to ride it out.

this was unfortunately one of those times. now usually you would call chan as soon as you felt the first telltale sign of a migraine . this time however, you didn’t, you knew he was busy with work and didn’t want to interfere with that. but you were selfishly starting to regret that decision as everything you were doing did nothing to help.

it seemed like everything did nothing but increase the pressure in your head, spreading to your face. in a last ditch effort to get some sleep you put on some migraine music, pressed a cold compress to your eyes and pulled wolfchan to your chest.

the soft plushie smelled faintly of chan’s cologne, the only thing actually helping you relax. but it also made you miss the aussie man, wishing he was by your side, rubbing your temples, softly lulling you to sleep.

you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt a warm tear drip down to your neck. you knew you had to calm down or you risk making everything worse but you couldn’t. you were overwhelmed by the pressure in your head and frustrated with nothing helping to release it.

you felt selfish and guilty but you knew you needed chan, you felt like you were going insane without him. hesitantly you moved the compress from your eyes, grabbing your phone.

despite the brightness being on the lowest possible setting, you felt a sharp pain behind your eye as the screen turned on. you unlocked your phone, clicking chan’s contact, you quickly typed out a message.

to channie <3 :

hi, i’m so sorry to ask but i really don’t know what else to do, i have a migraine and nothing's helping. i know you're working but is there anyway when you finish up at the studio you could come over? even for a little bit, if not i totally get it, just thought i’d ask, love you bug.

you hit send, locking your phone, placing it on the soft sheets, placing the compress back over your eyes. a few minutes passed before you felt your phone buzz beside you. you move the cold compress once more, bracing yourself for the light from your phone.

from channie <3:

can you call me jagi? i don’t want you to keep looking at your phone screen, love you too sweet girl.

you click his contact once more, hitting the little phone icon next to his name causing the calming music to stop, a loud ringing replacing it. this caused you to wince and quickly lower the volume before putting it on speaker so you could place the cooling pack back over your eyes.

it didn’t take long before he picked up. “hi my baby, what’s going on?” he asked softly.

“my head hurts,” you started, words slightly slurred. “it’s really bad channie.” you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. “i’ve tried everything and nothing’s working, i don’t know what to do.” you softly cried, tears making their way down your cheeks once more.

“okay angel okay, take a deep breath, i need you to relax for me okay? i know it hurts but it’s gonna hurt worse if you’re upset.” you hear rustling in the background.

“i’m just finishing up a few things here and then i’m gonna head over, okay sweetheart?” you respond with a soft whimper, followed by a quiet, “okay.” you press the pack further into your eyes, chasing the coolness that is quickly leaving the gel filled pack.

“do you want me to stay on the phone with you till i get there?” he asks softly, packing his bag.

“yes, please.” you mumbled. “okay baby, just keep breathing and focus on me, okay? i’m gonna pick up some food on the way too, okay?” you hummed in response, rolling over, pushing the soft plushie to your cheek, breathing in the familiar scent.

“everything okay?” you hear changbin ask in the background. “yeah, y/n has a migraine, so i’m going to help her.” chan responds.

“oh no, i hope she feels better, let us know if you guys need anything.” you hear han chime in, your heart swelling at the boys concern.

“will do, thank you, i’ll see you guys later.” you hear him open the studio door making his way into the hallway.

“you still with me, jagi?” he asks softly. “yeah, i’m here.” face squished into the soft fabric. “alright sweetheart, i’m gonna mute for a bit just until i get to my car, okay?” he asks, the elevator dings in the background, signaling its arrival.

“okay.” you say sleepily. “i love you baby, i’ll be right back.” you hear him press a button in the elevator. “love you too bub.” your words slurring slightly.

after chan muted, you felt yourself slowly succumb to the exhaustion, phone positioned next to you on the sheets, wolfchan tucked safely against your cheek, you, curled up in a soft blanket .

that is exactly how chan found you about 25 minutes later as he walked in your room, the space dimly lit by the oil diffuser sitting on your bedside table. he left the take-out bags sitting on your kitchen counter, fresh compress and cold water in hand. he gently places the water on your desk, making his way over to you.

he grabs your phone, ending the call before turning off the relaxing music. he sits next to your sleeping form, gently taking the warm pack off your face. he places a kiss on your forehead before placing the fresh compress on your eyes.

you tense for a moment, before relaxing as the cold begins to relieve the tension once more. you stir awake from the sudden change in temperature. “channie?” you asked, sleep laced in your voice.

he places a hand on your hips, his thumb rubbing soothing circles to the area. “hi, my baby,” he whispers. “how are you feeling hm?” he asks, continuing the soothing motion. you move the cool pack, grabbing his free hand, in this lap, threading your fingers together before placing a kiss on the back of his.

“better now that you’re here.” you murmured, giving him a small smile. he smiled back before leaning down and placing a kiss on your forehead.

“i got you some ramen, i’m gonna go grab it for you okay?” you nodded, him standing, still keeping your hand in his. he leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead before placing the compress back over your eyes, grabbing the warm one to put back in the freezer .

he gives your hand a light squeeze before walking away. you relax into the soft mattress below you while chan goes to grab the hot soup and some medicine just in case.

he walks in with the tray, setting it on your desk next to the cold water collecting condensation on the wood below it. he makes his way over to you, sitting next to you once again, gently lifting the pack off your eyes. “there she is,” he placed a hand on your cheek, setting the compress next to you.

“hi baby.” he smiled, softly stroking your cheek. you give him a small smile back before turning your head slightly to place a kiss to his palm. “can you sit up for me please?” you nod softly before slowly moving to lean against the wall behind you.

“careful jagi.” he whispered, quickly placing a hand behind your head. “thank you, bug.” you mumble, adjusting the pillows behind you, placing wolfchan in your lap . chan stands up once more, placing the water on the tray before bringing it over to you.

“thank you, chan, you really didn’t have to do all this.” you say, guilt creeping up on you once again. he shakes his head. “nope, none of that. i’m your boyfriend, this is my job.” he places the tray on your lap, taking his place next to you once again.

“plus, i love taking care of you. if you need me, i’m there. any time, any place, simple as that.” your heart swells, you feel a lump form in the back of your throat. “you can’t say stuff like that when i’m like this, i’ll cry.” you play with the plushie’s ears before feeling a finger lift your chin.

“i love you, and i’ll always be here for you, no matter where either of us are, okay?” he said, looking into your eyes, with nothing but love and sincerity. you nod, “i love you too.” he smilled, carefully leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead.

“now, you need to eat, i got your favorite.” he says, picking up the hot soup, opening the lid, before separating the chopsticks. he dips the wooden sticks in the soup, giving it a stir before grabbing some of the noodles.

he gently blows on the steaming noodles before offering it to you, container under it to catch any dripping soup. you giggle, “you know i can feed myself right?” he frowns, pushing the noodles and container closer to you. “eat.”

you smile before opening your mouth, accepting the food he so generously offered you. a smile made it’s way onto his face, feeding you a few more bites. he placed the container back down, chopsticks resting in the soup, before grabbing the medicine and water.

“take these.” he placed them in your hand, opening the water as you dropped the pills in your mouth. he hands you the water, watching as you greedly gulp down the cool beverage. “ how are you feeling, angel?” he asks gently.

“it still hurts but i think eating and drinking definitely helped.” you smiled, handing him the bottle. “ good, i’m glad. eat a few more bites then we’ll lay down, okay?” he says, picking up the soup once more.

you end up finishing the ramen before he grabs the tray and the now warm compress. “do you want a cold one?” he asks holding up the pack.

“yes please.” you nod slightly. “okay, get comfy, i’ll be right back jagi.” you smile laying back down as he leaves the room.

he comes back, shortly after, with a fresh compress and another bottle of water. he places the water next to your diffuser, placing the compress over your eyes. he circles the bed, climbing under the covers.

he lays down, pulling you into him, placing your head on his chest. you place your arm around his wait, hand slipping under his shirt, rubbing your thumb across his soft skin.

he brings his hand up, rubbing soft circles on your temples, placing kiss on the top of your head. “sleep jagi, we can shower when you wake up okay?’ you nod slightly against him.

“thank you, channie. i love you, more than you know.” you mumble, tightening your arms around him. “i love you too baby, i’ll always take care of you, okay?” placing one last kiss to your hair.

that’s how you stayed for the rest of the night, wrapped up in each other’s arms. the pressure in your head, slowly releasing, finally able to relax.

reblogs/feedback are appreciated! i hope you guys enjoyed!

do no repost

[daughterofthequeen]

Fear is Only a Obstacle

Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader

Summary: Poe is finally able to see you and he’s not wasting anymore time

Warnings: Describing injuries, cliche cliche cliche, fluff a lot, and angst but this time the fluff out ways the angst, not proofread I’m sleepy you guys, let me know if I missed anything

A/n: Just a part 2 to my fic Till the End of Time

The sound of tie fighters are deafening

Along with the sound of exploding ships

Laser canons of different ships all around you

All of it replaying in your mind over and over until you finally wake up and the first thing you see are a pair of annoying bright lights. Groaning as your sitting up, it seems like you’ve been here for a few hours if you listen to what your body is telling you, but it only feels like a few minutes have passed. You remember trying to land as best you can with a blown engine then nothing. And now you’re even more confused because you’re not in any pain.

“Why happened?” You said getting ready to stand up and get out of the medibed you were in. “I hate med bays. Hello? Anyone here? You know im not claiming to be the smartest person in the galaxy but im pretty sure someone is supposed to at least be hovering over me.” You say in a semi loud sarcastic tone to make sure the person at the front desk could hear you.

And as you suspected your nurse came in. “You shouldn’t be sitting up just yet”, she said gently laying you back down on the bed. “It’s not like anyone was here to stop me. What happened anyway, I’m guessing the crash knocked me out but I’m not in the slightest of pain, you guys must’ve gave me some of the real good meds.”

Catching the nurse off guard she started laughing. “Yes, with all the injuries you have they were needed before you woke or you were going to be in a lot of pain. A migraine due to your concussion, fractured rib, a severely sprained ankle, and all of your cuts and bruises to top it off, you are very lucky those were the only extents of your wounds.”

“Yeah, I guess so. I’m not gonna be as lucky soon though because these pain meds are starting to wear off.” The groaning thats coming from you and the intense pain in your ankle is saying enough.

“Yeah, according to your chart it is time for another dosage. I’ll be right back.”

“Oh wow she wasn’t kidding.” You whispered feeling a major throbbing pain on the left side of your ribs.

Heading someone knock softly on the door you look up and see Leia standing in the door way smiling at you which causes you to smile back.

“Hey.”

“Hey, how are you feeling?” She asked sitting down next to you on your medibed.

“The pain is starting to kick in but my nurse is going to get me another dosage for the pain. What about you and everyone else?”

“ We took some heavy loses and a bunch more injured including yourself, I had to come down to check on your all.”

“ That’s going to take a while.”

“ I don’t mind it, you all risk your life to fight for a cause that could affect the whole galaxy willingly under my orders the least I can do is sit with you all and keep you company.”

“Your kindness never ceases to surprise me.”

“That’s something I use to tell your mother all the time.” That caught you off guard but it brought you joy, you knew your mom and Leia were friends before she passed. And it gave you some comfort to know you could got to Leia and ask questions about who she was and what she was like as a person anytime you wanted. It was one of the reasons you and Poe had bonded so well because you understood each others pain. Wait a minute, Poe.

“Oh Maker, I gotta find Poe, is he ok?!”

“Calm child. Poe is just find he’s out in the hallway now waiting to see you.”

“He’s not injured?”

“No. He’s perfectly fine, he seen you going down and was trying to get to you but you crashed. He’s actually the reason your alive he got you out the ship and here to the medbay in time enough for them to heal your wounds.

“He’s probably a mess right now.”

“Oh he is in complete distress but it’s not as bad as it was.” Looking up she says your nurse with the pain killers, getting ready to put them through your IV.

“Nurse Poy.”

“Yes general?”

“After you finish giving Y/n her medicine let Poe Dameron in. Seeing the nurse about to protest, she stops her in time. “I know visitors aren’t aloud right now but he needs this, they both do. Just let them have the room for a few minutes. Please?”

“Yes general, but make it quick.” The sides says looking down at your worried eyes. “If anyone see’s it’ll cause a ruckus and everyone would want to do it, then the whole medbay is full.”

“A few minutes is all we need.”

Leia stands and heads out the door into the hallway where Poe is waiting to hear anything about your condition. “I’ll get him.”

After a few minutes you see and hear Poe rush through the door. It actually startled you a little bit.

“Hi? You ok?”

“Am I ok? Are you ok? I’ve been worried for hours and all they kept telling me was that you still weren’t responding. They wouldn’t let me in no matter how many times I tried, they actually threatened to sedate me if I didn’t sit down. I was this close to punching a doctor Y/n I swear.”

All of his rambling was making you laugh until you seen the tears still coming out of his red and dry eyes. “Poe, you’re crying. Stop crying, I’m fine.”

“ I was worried about you. Seeing you just lying there in my arms not moving and barely breathing, that out a picture in my head that I never wanted to see. And now it’s something I can’t get out my head.” He says grabbing your hand that’s closest to him and squeezing it softly.

“Poe-“

“No, wait a minute, just listen for a second, okay? I prayed and promised to whoever was listening that if you made it out of this I would tell you the truth, and we only have a couple more minutes, so just let me say it, please?” He took your silence as a green light to tell you.

“Okay look Y/n, I don’t know how this is going to affect us but I can’t hold it in anymore. I’m in love with you.”

That made you stop breathing completely.

“And I know we always flirt and joke around but it’s real for me and I know it is for you too. Why do we keep torturing ourselves? Why don’t we just let go of the fear and see where it takes us?” Taking off his signature necklace, the one he holds close to his heart the one with his mothers band on it, and he holds it up for you to see it clearly. “You see this? When I met you I knew this ring was meant for you, I just didn’t know how to approach you with it. Now I am, and I know you’re afraid about what could happen to one of us in the future, but to be honest I don’t care about what could happen. Because I would rather us be together whole heartedly in love with each other for only one day, then to continue putting ourselves through this cycle of suffrage, and not having the chance to show it at all. I know you’re afraid but we can’t let fear dictate how we feel about each other anymore. So what do you say?”

“Poe”, you sigh. “Poe I have lost to many people to this war, if let you in now and something we’re to happen to you, the pain would be unbearable. And don’t say you promise you won’t leave because that’s not a promise you can keep, no matter how loyal you are. Trust me many have, and their deaths still way heavy in my mind.”

“I wasn’t going to make you that promise because that is not in our control, you’re right. But I can promise you that I will love you unconditionally till the day I die whether that be on the battlefield or after we grow old together, I’m going to love you. So what do you say?”

“…”

“It’s ok you don’t have to answer right away I know it’s a lot to think about and pro-”

“Yes.”

“What.”

“Yes. I love you, and you’re right, no more hiding behind fear, its just me and you from now on, the good and the bad.”

The joy that Poe felt go through his body was one he had never felt before. Fumbling a little to get the ring off of his chain and put it on your finger but you stop him, and the hurt and pain in his eyes caused you to elaborate more on what you meant.

“I mean not right now. I want to receive this ring at out ceremony, just hold on a little bit long because I will be expecting that ring to be on my finger very very soon.”

Pure joy goes through Poe’s body from head to toe and he was smiling so hard that his cheeks were hurting. And he did something that he has been wanting to do since he laid eyes on you. Faster than you can comprehend he stands up from his chair and smashes his lips onto yours. Catching you off guard but you quickly recover, melting into the most explosive and head spinning kiss you’ve ever had, no scratch that you’ve never had a kiss like this before. It’s a good thing you’re already laying down in the bed because if you weren’t you were sure your knees would have gave out on you. You both pulled away after a few more quick pecks, and just sat there holding hands, staring at each other. Talking wasn’t needed to know what the other was thinking. Both of you wondering how did you get so lucky.

————————————————————

A/n: Running on a couple hours of sleep from last night. But I can’t believe I got this done in only a few hours. Would’ve been a lot sooner if tumblr didn’t erase the whole ending so I had to rewrite what I remembered. Which I am not completely satisfied with because I liked the original ending a lot better than this even though similar. Curse tumblr and my foggy brain I should sleep but that’s most likely not gonna happen anytime soon.

@theidiotsincontrol @book-place

[localgirlbecomesobsessed]

It’s not funny

In which Leo doesn’t look after himself during a mission so Xena takes matters into her own hands.

Dealing with a cynic is hard work.

Xena’s leg is something she has to continuously make sure she keeps in peak condition otherwise it will just be seizing and chronic pain times~it’s why her aunt also made her do judo to help with that.

I’m just taking experience that I have with my shoulder, I don’t do judo but I do other things instead lmao. So hopefully I did this right

I also would say this is pre relationship between whoever you ship Xena with.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

She grounded out as she gently rubbed a pain relief gel onto Leo’s wrist, grabbing a bandage as she tightly wrapped it up. Leo just stared at her bored, unsure of why she even forced him to sit down and get treated when it’ll easily be healed by tomorrow.

It was a mission gone wrong, Leo throwing himself into a firing line of an anomaly again just to see what would happen, he took it down of course but only after getting his wrist and ankle severely broken. The later resting on a table as Alan angrily went to go get ointments from professor Nicolas. More angry at himself for letting Leo get hurt, blaming himself for Leo’s injuries.

Sho was quietly cooking them dinner, checking in on the two as Xena moodily started checking over his ankle.

“The mission got solved-I don’t know what you’re complaining about honour roll.”

He rolled his eyes leaning his head back as he avoided the heated glare.

“It’ll heal by tomorrow-instead of doing useless shit why don’t you go get me a drink.”

She scoffed poking at his ankle as Leo let out a harsh hiss, head shooting up as he glared at Xena.

“What’d ya last servant die of?”

She rolled her eyes as she leaned back onto the sofa.

“He’s making dinner.”

He quipped back, Xena coughed trying to hide her laugh shaking her head at Leo as she sighed getting up on slightly shaky legs as she hobbled her way to the vending machine outside.

“Go easy on Xe, she’s just worried”

Sho sighed out as he shoved the pizza into the oven, throwing himself next to Leo as he just rolled his eyes at him.

“It’s her job idiot-you think she’s being all buddy buddy with us just because she wants to?”

Leo snapped at him, the beggining of a migraine setting in, as his vision went funny on one side. He used haxs too much on this mission, needing it to track the anomaly through a fucking forest, like they were in a predator movie or something.

He leaned his head back again and closing his eyes as Sho sighed looking through the medical kit for Leo’s pain meds.

Xena walked back in and immediately clocked Leo’s new problem as she searched through her bag, finding what she was looking for she quietly walked over to them, showing Sho what she had as he nodded in approval.

Sho brushed back Leo’s fringe, the young man not even being able to crack an eye open to check what his friend was doing, the pain feeling like a can getting squashed as his brain imploded.

Xena gently placed the cooling Matt onto Leo’s forehead, he let out a small sigh of relief tentatively brushing his hand against the soothing item.

Sho found his tablets and Xena cracked open the strawberry cream soda handing it to him as they helped Leo swallow his tablets, Sho ushered her over.

“I need to sort the rest of dinner out, can you…”

He gestured to the leaning tower of Leo who was trying to subtlety claim Sho’s lap as his own pillow.

She nodded giving a thumbs up as he got up and she switched places with him, Leo immediately going to lay on her thighs before she stopped him.

“You can have this one for the moment, I’ve got my own fucked up leg to look after so please bare with it.”

Leo frowned risking cracking an eye open as he looked up to see what Xena was doing. Something he immediately regretted as searing pain shot through him as the lights beamed down in his soul, she sighed as she covered his eyes with her hand, lightly placing them there as he slowly closed his eyes again.

“How bout I tell you what I’m doing?”

Her voice soothing as she spoke in a low tone to him keeping her hand on his eyes.

“I don’t care.”

It didn’t have as much bite as it usually did as he rested his broken wrist on Xena’s knee, she was wearing Adam sandler-esque poison apple shorts, they were so soft that Leo debated stealing them from her after this, he would probably pull it off better than her after all.

She rolled her eyes as she grabbed the pain relief gel, raising her shorts on her other leg revealing her scar.

“I skipped my exercises the past three days…I’m meant to do them every morning or my leg can seize up-so this will hopefully help it chill…”

She started caressing the gel into her thigh, hissing slightly as pain throbbed through it.

Leo made a sound of disapproval.

“Now who’s the fucking idiot.”

He mumbled out.

Sho was trying to be as quiet as possible avoiding any clanging as best he could as he watched the display.

“Yeah-yeah, at least I admit it.” •_•

Alan walked into the room sitting tiredly onto the sofa as professor Nicholas followed through, he sighed as he gently crouched in front of Leo, xena talking her hand off his eyes as he peeked at their new guest.

“Looking worse for wear there huh…”

He quietly checked over Leo’s wrist, unwrapping the bandages as he grabbed one of his own ointments, gently spreading it over Leo’s broken wrist as he rewrapped it in a special anomaly bandage to help it heal quicker.

Leo watched professor Nicholas like a hawk, making the older man nervous as he avoided all eye contact, glancing instead at Xena sighing at her in disappointment.

“I thought you were meant to be taking it easy Xe?”

Her leg seized up last week after her time at obscuary, climbing the hill and running for her life causing her to get appointed bed rest by Dante over the weekend, one she obviously ignored.

•_•

•_•

“Don’t know what ya mean professor Nicolas.”

He almost face palmed as he grabbed another ointment handing it over to her, he had made it specifically for her knowing she wasn’t one to sit idle, much to her own detriment, he was planning to give it to Jiro to give to her on her next health assessment.

“Wipe the other stuff off and put that on please, it’ll help a lot more.”

A worried glance thrown Xena’s way before he started checking over Leo’s ankle, it was broken into two places and will take a couple of days to heal rather than the usual day. He instead of touching the wound directly, he slathered it onto the thick bandages and repeatedly wrapped it around ankle.

“You’ll need bed rest for at least three days…”

If Leo hadn’t been dosed on the extra strong pain killers, he would of kicked up more of a fuss, but to professor Nicolas’ joy he just grumpily turned the other way his now thick bandage wrapped around his wrist already pissing him off as he tried to get comfortable.

Professor Nicolas handed Alan a list of things Leo will need to have and take during his bed rest, including things for his migraines.

“We’ll do a proper health evaluation once you’re able to walk around.”

He kept his voice soft as he quickly packed his things up, ruffling Xena’s hair before pausing and handing her a bandage.

“Keep it wrapped up for now just to keep the area covered.”

He eyed the way Leo was trying to shuffle himself upwards in an attempt to take over her whole lap as Sho finished up in the kitchen.

“Try to get him to eat something before he crashes out as well.”

With a friendly awkward wave he walked out of vagastrom, more like speed running away-probably needing to rush back to the hospital.

She tilted Leo upwards the young man groaning as his soft pillow moved away.

“I didn’t say you could move honour roll.”

He seethed as he watched her finish up bandaging her leg. Leaning on his hands as he massaged his temples, his migraine dulling only slightly.

Sho brought a feast of food-pizza, chips, nachos (one overloaded with jalapeños and the other normal), hallomi fries and mozzarella dippers. All four of them drooling, even Leo who raised his head at the delectable amount of food.

It was 3am, no one else was about as the four quietly chattered to eachother, Leo wedged between Xena and Sho as they fed him food.

Xena nervously fiddled with her pizza as she kept glancing at Alan, annoying Leo as leaned against Sho.

“Just fucking spit out.”

He grumbled glaring at Xena as Sho fed him another lot of nachos, in an attempt to keep him quiet and happy.

Xena sighed for the hundredth time that night, exhausted and drained.

“Alan, will you practice judo with me please-I’ve been slacking in my exercises and I kind of need to do it for my…”

She paused, debating whether to say it or not as she chewed on her piece of pizza.

“I need to it for my physical therapy, I have to keep it up otherwise I get like this…”

She gestured to her thigh.

Alan lit up, finishing eating his own slice.

“Of course we can start…the day after tomorrow.”

Everyone could tell he wanted to say tomorrow before his eyes worriedly landed on Xena’s thigh.

Leo flopped back down satisfied with his food, his head landing on Xena’s thighs once more as he rested his wrist on her knee once again before grabbing her hand and pulling it into his hair, she smiled as she started brushing a hand through his hair. Leo lifted his legs and trapped Sho under them, finally getting comfortable.

Alan thought he looked like a spoiled cat, preening at their owners affections as Sho leaned onto the armchair, eyes drooping as Xena did the same on her side.

He sighed as he looked at the list, organising the medications so it’s in order.

When he looked at the three of them again he sighed smiling shaking his head as the three of them completely crashed out.

When Leo woke up in the morning, his fury knew no bounds as Sho carried him to his room, Xena and Sho basically camping out in his room to bring all things he demanded.

“Still think she’s doing this because it’s her job.”

Sho whispered, half serious/half joking, as Xena turned her phone off ignoring the chancellors numerous calls for the day after she told him she had important business to deal with as she helped through Leo’s latest target’s financial information.

“Fuck off.”

Leo took a picture of the brunch Sho brought for them, ignoring his smug smile as Xena tuned them out.

[vykko]

welcome to me venting about my current health issues

if like weight lose and health issues are like not your thing, gonna want to skip out on this

soooo acid reflux

For almost 2 months I’ve had acid acid reflux

I hate it

so much

um but like my physical and mental health have gotten bad

not bad as in I’m dying or anything but as In

I’m in frequent pain I can’t get rid off and so far me finally get medical health has gotten no results yet

I’ve had to get a blood test where the nurse laughed at me

I’ve lost weight bc I one sometimes can’t keep eating and half bc I don’t want to anymore, it hurts when I eat or I’m uncomfortable

it has effected my sleep

my school work

I’m paler and skinner and I’m not happy about it

I’m always tired, and can’t think

I got a blood test to see if I have celiac (I don’t), and if I have heliobactor polyri

I have to go get another test for heliobactor polyri which meant I had to switch the stuff I take to reduce my stomach acid acidicy

like the one person I know who truly gets it is my best friend who has IBS, they probably have it way worse but it’s nice knowing someone gets having your guts hate you

I’m tired of having my mouth taste foul, and being bloated, and my chest hurting, and having food come back up. And not being able to eat food I like

and it’s not like migraines where I’ve learned to tune them out

it’s just gotten more painful

I don’t win no matter what it is

My teeth are all ready damaged

even if it’s not heliobactor polyri I have to wait 2 more months to see if I still have reflux after I finish the meds

I’m trembly and shaky bc I’ve not eaten enough or dizzy bc I’m so hungry

I want to eat but I can’t

I hate eating now

I want to feel full but if I’m full I hurt

I can’t lay down after eating even after 4-5 hours after eating without pain

I’m so tired of it

But for some unknown reason I don’t want it to stop, I’m so used to it now, the idea of not having it makes me upset

it’s not like I’m getting attention for it

like school makes me so tired I can’t stay awake bc all my energy is gone

I hate burping bc it’s loud and embarrassing, I just want my body to work properly for fucking once

I’m so sick of getting new health issues so often so fate I the last 3 years out of order

Inflamed toe joint, I can’t reverse it

Covid

inflamed joint in my spine, it’s gone now but it hurt for a month

Sinus infection that took me weeks to recover from and my asthma got so bad I have to carry my inhaler with me now which I haven’t needed to do in 8 years

i get sick now super easily

inflamed tmj, now every so often on of them gets upset

probably broken toe I couldn’t get treated till it already had healed

bwing sick over and over

migraines

now acid reflux

Low vitamin d

low potassium

now only just not anemic

Like can my body work for fucking once

[killbaned]

well! we may not want to hear this besties but sometimes. when the thought of doing tasks is making you horrifically anxious to the point of shutting down, the only thing to do...are the fucking tasks!

i slept badly. fell asleep about two am woke up a bit before six bc of The Horrors. couldn't get back to sleep bc of my guts keeping me awake. finally won a battle with the demons. realized i'd still likely be awake for another hour or two anyway before being able to settle back to sleep and the whole time i was just. getting upset because i'm tired i feel awful i have all these things to do because i made a specific set of plans for how to maximize tasks vs rest while i'm off these days.

so i figured. well. i managed a nine hour shift saturday feeling bad like this and a seven hour shift sunday feeling worse. i can manage a few hours of less intensive tasks.

i did laundry, i cleaned out the fridge, collected the trash and took it to the dumpster. put the dirty dishes from my pasta yesterday in the dishwasher along w the dirty stuff from the fridge. ran the dishwasher. wiped down the sinks and counters. i took the dogs in to get their nails done which was the big thing i was worried about bc their yearly shots expire tomorrow. i had the adhd time sink of "i have like two months to take a day off for their shots" and that was. two months ago. oops. i found out i DON'T need a bordatella shot to get them bathed so i am treating myself and paying someone else to wash the dogs! now i don't have to do that task tomorrow!! this is huge bc the chihuahua is fine i can do him in the sink no problem but rufus is too big and has to be done in the tub and it's suffering badly. it's a lot of work and strain and it means if i'm bathing him that is the ONLY task i'm doing that day.

i also stopped at the store, got a few things i needed. i checked mom's email to make sure i haven't missed anything from dcf (i have not which. L. can i get the food money back please-). i checked MY email and remembered to contact my dental ins company about the oopsie daisy with that.

literally i have done what i thought was going to be two days worth of tasks in the span of about four hours. do i feel better physically? no! i'm still tired, my guts are still bad, i'm getting a migraine i'm gonna have to cave and take meds for.

do i feel better mentally, like perhaps when i bring the dogs back i'll be able to settle in and settle down and actually relax without being plagued by the thoughts of All The Things Needing Done?

absolutely.

[praublem-child]

Fuck my body. I want a different one. Idec what it looks like, but I hate this sack of meat that barely gets pushed into functioning on a good day.

(This was in my drafts from August? Idk why I didn’t post it but here ig)

I had a college event today that was mandatory for freshman, and I went despite my nonexistent ability to function. I felt like I was dying the whole time, and the scary fucking thing is that idk if I could have actually died or not. My next cardiology appointment isn't until Friday and idk what's safe to do and what's not. Keeping up with the group had my heartrate hitting 188bpm, and it didn't go below 115 a single time during the whole thing.

The "meet your success coordinator" section was right after it hit 188 and I was so nauseous and close to passing out that I don't even remember anything beyond being asked my name and giving it. The next thing I remember after that was me almost falling getting out of my seat and losing the teacher in the halls when I went looking. I was supposed to work out my plan with her for the coming semester today.

Everything after that is kinda a blur. I know I spent it with my best friend and that I lost my phone at some point, but I don't even know when I lost it. I didn't make it to the class picture because I had to stop before I puked and my vision was so blurry and spotty that I couldn't see the ground in front of me. I sent him ahead of me and I don't remember anything again until he was handing me my phone and sitting with me. Then I called my ride to pick me up instead of even attempting to walk back to the parking garage across campus. I laid down once I could move again and managed to get my hr down to 123 before my ride showed up, and the trip home was slightly more coherent.

I threw up once we parked at home, and idfk what came up. I can't remember if I even ate anything other than breakfast and the smarties I was basically forced to eat on the trip home. I know I didn't eat dinner because I remember being nauseous and when my friend went through line for me anyway my hands were shaking too much to hold the fork. I had a few sips of water at some point that made me gag, and I think he might've gotten a few bites of a cupcake into me? That was just after we sat down though and I wasn't thinking clearly enough to remember it.

I got almost shoved into the shower after I got sick, and I passed out on the couch with everything feeling like hell and a migraine that was keeping me from focusing on anything else. I was put for almost four hours, and while I'm feeling a lot better, there's a strong chance that's because my heartrate finally got back down below 100 while I slept and I just finished a sandwich and took some meds. My whole body is still shaking, I still have a mild headache, and everything is still sore, but I'm coherent and not about to collapse. I'm also still jumping between 95-110bpm, and I really hope that that gets back into the 80s range by tommorow, otherwise I'm in for a miserable rest of the week.

Also, fuck anyone who ignored me stumbling and shaking. My friend said I looked like I was dying the entire time and only one person even gave me a second glance, and apparently it was someone he asked about my phone that I almost collapsed in front of. He said he also had to pull me out of the way of others like three times because I couldn't think fast enough to move and they were walking directly toward me without giving enough space to not hit me, let alone my crutch that was keeping me upright.

I doubt he's ever going to see this because he doesn't have tumblr and doesn't even know this blog exists, but like, I'm so fucking sorry. Neither of us wanted to be there and you spent the whole thing babysitting me which probably made it even more miserable for you. Ily, and you're my best friend. Thank you for keeping me alive today.

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

I advise you not seek this content out. There's a reason I'm not linking it. It's full of abelism and gaslighting. But I just want to show you what I'm about to rant about because this woman is claiming chronic illness doesn't exist and women specifically are faking to get a diagnosis for attention. And she's claiming this is a mental health issue.

As a disabled person, I need to rant.

The first time I got a migraine. I was 10 years old. They were near constant. I know exactly how old I was because when I went to the doctor, he said it was probably the braces shifting the bones in my skull. They were called just headaches.

If you've ever had a migraine, you would understand that if you were experiencing this much pain, and you were told there was a way to make it stop, you GRAB that shit. I had my braces removed before my jaw was finished straightening because I shouldn't have had braces in the first place and my baby teen started falling out (very late, I know).

And when my adult teeth came in, I BEGGED my doctor to not give me braces again. And remember what I said earlier. If you're experiencing migraine level symptoms and you were told there was a way to make it stop. You grab that chance. Yes, my teeth are still fucked up. Yes, this leads to me dealing with chronic jaw pain.

You don't get how much pain I was in just... all the fucking time. My parents had to carry large bottles of advil with them at all times. Some of my earliest memories is being at a restaurant and my mom being like "I know this is weird but do you have any advil? I forgot to refill the bottle and my daughter is in too much pain to eat". Just from the migraine.

I was taking adult doses of pain meds with my doctors telling me to alternate Advil and Tylenol every 2 hours at the age of 10 (most meds say not for children under 12). Because migraine was not a diagnosis that existed.

When I was in high school, I finally did get a diagnosis from my PCP of "migraine". Idk if it ever went on the record but a was prescribed migraine medication. Which was essentially prescription strength advil and imitrex. There weren't exactly a lot of options back then.

And I again have specific memories of being in school. The ring of the fire alarm during a fire drill triggers a migraine. First thing I had to do when we went back in was go to the nurse and nurse had to call my parents and they had to bring my meds (special school rules the nurse needed the prescription bottle which would make it hard to have any at home). And the nurse was like "when's it gonna work?" And my mom was like "idk. If it does work it'll be like 30 minutes" and the nurse was like "Yeah we can't keep her here 30 minutes on a maybe. This is no place for a kid with a migraine. Take her home."

Throughout all this? I didn't consider myself disabled. Because I could still function. I wasn't missing too much school to pass. I was still able to pass my classes.

In college though it got really bad. I was missing 3 or 4 days of classes at a time because I couldn't hold down anything but water. There's weeks I did go to class that I just blacked it the pain was so bad. I got hurt from the vertigo regularly. It got so bad u finally sought it a migraine community just to try to understand what the hell was wrong with me and just so I had a place where I could vent. It sucked so damn bad.

And this community helped me immensely. They had a list of headache specialists which helped me find my doctor. They gave me a ton of treatment options to discuss with my doctor and they suggested vitamin supplements that I could also discuss with my doctor. It took a few years because I don't react to most common migraine meds, but a year out of college, I finally got a treatment plan that fucking helped. I live a pretty normal life now the only exception being the couple of hours it takes my meds to kick in.

And even through all of that, I hesitated to call myself disabled. I was still functional enough to graduate college without the ADA (but honestly I'd have done better if I had accommodations for all the time I had to miss). My migraines weren't frequent enough to be considered "chronic".

The only reason why I'm able to comfortably call myself disabled now is because of the invisible illness and spoonie communities. They were like "Your health issues impacting most of your life even though there's no physical symptoms? You keep missing important events duev to your health issues? You limiting what you do so to not impact your health issues? You're disabled."

Because I was so afraid of taking something away from physically disabled people by using the label. I'm still going to heavy metal concerts (yes they land me in bed for days after with a migraine). I can hold down a job and still semi-function (I'm privileged that I can get a remote job so if I can't get out of bed I don't need to call in. And I work for small companies that are more forgiving of health issues.)

Listen. I 100% believe in the spoonie movement with all my heart. But what people don't realize is that invalidating the spoonie movement invalidates people like me. People that have had pain since childhood that almost no medication can touch that's coupled with other neurological issues that is detrimental to our health. I was exercising every day, but I had to stop because there were too many days I couldn't hold down food. I was eating very healthy, but I had to stop because there were too many days where calories were more important than vitamins because again I was lucky if I could hold down food. The pain was so bad that there was gaps in my memory and I hurt myself but I couldn't remember how between the vertigo and the memory issues.

And yeah. My migraines don't affect me like that now. I'm on treatment where I don't "look disabled". I can function with the best of the abled people. But it took years of meds and trial and error with my doctor to get here. I'm functioning with the exact balance of person meds and activity levels to keep me found for the things I enjoy doing.

And I need people to realize that's what invisible disability is. Paralyzed person can't walk? They get a wheelchair. I can't go outside without spending the rest of my day bedbound from the bright light and heat? I get meds that help sooth the nervous system (honestly I don't know how the fuck my meds work but this is the equivalent of my "wheelchair")

Yeah! We look functional. That's the point. That's the entire point. Because before this we lost friends and failed classes because we couldn't get our of bed our body's failed us so hard. The only reason why abled people think we don't exist is because we literally couldn't leave the house. And online communities have allowed us to be seen on those worse days when we're normally hidden behind closed doors.

I was able to interact with people online yesterday with my migraine, when previously you wouldn't have been able to see that because I literally couldn't leave the house.

-fae

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Migraines

Word count: 1679

Genre: Hurt/comfort 

Pairings: Natasha x fem!reader, platonic avengers x fem!reader

Warnings: Some swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Request: hi~ was wondering if you’d do a natasha x reader with a dash of platonic avengers when reader has chronic migraines but hasn’t told nat so ends up in random places to try and sleep them away and the others keep finding her and then nat figures out she’s hiding something and feels hurt but ends fluffy wanting to take care of reader next time? you can choose who and change any part you want!

Summary: Reader gets really bad migraines and is constantly being found by the team when she wants to be alone, however her girlfriend Natasha doesn’t know what’s going on. 

A/n: This request was for @casperlikej​ so I hope you like it! Also I would like to mention that I know next to nothing about migraines so this probably won’t be super accurate but hopefully it’s ok to read anyways. I’m queuing this to come out on Sunday so that over the weekend I can work on the friends to enemies to lovers three part series and get that out soon (no I have not forgotten about that request). I am only like a sixth into that series but so far I’m super proud of it so I can’t wait to get it done! Also if anyone has ideas, feel free to request anything because I like having multiple fic ideas to think of at all times. Anyways I’m rambling now but I hope you enjoy this fic!

You hated being away from Natasha because although you had only been together for a few months and only known her for half a year you were sure you loved her but sometimes you just couldn’t stand pretending to be okay in front of her so you would hide yourself away. Currently your favourite place to hide was a nice rocking chair near the medbay area that was tucked away in the corner of a room. Barely anyone ever went by and the few that did never seemed to notice, giving you the anonymously you needed in order to curl up with your head in your knees and try to calm your head down. 

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” You hear Tony’s voice ask and you startle. 

“Oh, um, I’m just spending time with myself.” You respond lamely as Tony raises an eyebrow. 

“You never spend time by yourself,” he points out, “whenever you want to get away from us you always spend time with Natasha.” 

“I am alone sometimes.” You say starting to get annoyed. 

He scoffs. “No you aren’t, is everything ok between you two?”

“Everything is fine, just leave!” You snap at him. He hesitates in leaving the room but ultimately goes without saying another word after seeing how intensely you started glaring at him. It takes longer than usual for your migraine to go away because usually staying level headed helped but at least you yelling got Tony out of the room and to stop asking questions.

---

It was only a few days later that you got another migraine. You excuse yourself from the room you were sitting in with Bruce, Tony and Nat, mumbling some bullshit about needing to go to the store and ignoring Tony’s worried look on your way out. You knew that Tony would come looking for you in your old place so you decide to hole up in the room near the pad Thor uses whenever he visits earth. Today wasn’t a very bad migraine because you were able to catch the signs early but it still takes slightly over an hour for your head to stop pounding. You’re about to leave the room and go back to find the others but just to your luck Thor happens to arrive today unscheduled, something that only happens every few weeks. 

“Lady Y/l/n!” his voice booms happily as he steps inside, “it’s so good to see you, but what are you doing here, I wasn’t aware I had informed anyone of my arrival.”

You laugh slightly at his formal way of speaking and confused expression. “You didn’t, I just happened to be here because I was trying to be alone for awhile.”

“Are you feeling unwell?” He asks, looking concerned. 

“Not at all,” you reassure him, “in fact I was just about to go back to the others when you arrived, shall we find them together?” He nods eagerly, holding out his arm for you to hook onto like a true gentleman.

---

The next time you try to hide away you’re talking to Steve and he isn’t getting your subtle cues that you want to leave so he just keeps talking. You think he is talking about some sort of mission but honestly you don’t know because it physically hurts your brain to pay attention. You want to yell at him so badly but you can’t bring yourself to because he isn't trying to hurt you at all and he’s too nice to be angry at. 

“You agree Y/n?” You manage to make out. 

“Yes.” You say, not knowing what you’re even agreeing to.

“Great, I’ll go talk to the others, see you tomorrow for the morning training!” He says before walking off. You groan out loud as soon as you can no longer see him, partly because of how much your head hurts and partly because you accidentally told Steve that morning training was a good idea. This time you just plop yourself on the nearest couch and hope nobody finds you. 

---

You stumble into Bruce’s lab calling out for him. It had been over a week since your last migraine and encounter with Steve, one of the longest breaks you’ve had within recent memory but that came back to bite you in the ass when today’s was worse than ever before, even blurring your vision a little because of the pain. 

Bruce stands up from behind a pile of boxes. “Y/n, what brings you here.” 

“Pain meds now.” You order in a weak voice. He looks curious but doesn’t question you, heading towards a back cabinet and pulling out a bottle of pills. You immediately take two and swallow, ignoring him scolding you that you should only take one. Luckily since Bruce invented them himself it only took about five minutes for them to kick in. 

“Sorry, I had a really bad headache.” You tell him which is a half truth. 

He looks at you in concern. “Are you sure that was only a headache? It looked bad.” 

You wave him off, heading towards the door because you didn’t want him to ask anymore questions. “I’m fine Brucie, thanks again!” He sighs and shakes his head as he watches you leave, worried but deciding it’s not his place to badger you about it. 

---

Since every time you got a migraine you always ended up around one of the others you made a plan so that you could avoid everyone because you knew that one day your luck was going to end and Natasha would be the one to find you. You knew that she wouldn’t be mad at you or anything since you can’t control them but the relationship is still new and you don’t want to badger her with any of your problems. 

That’s why as soon as you start to feel a migraine coming on you hoist yourself up into the vents above your (sort of) shared room with Natasha where you had left a blanket and some pillows to relax with… only to find Clint waiting for you there. 

“I was wondering who had left these up there.” He says, seeming like it was a perfectly natural thing for him to be in the vents above your room. You decide not to question it, only sighing because you know that conversation would take up too many thoughts that you don’t have space for right now. You’re just so fucking done with your migraines and want them to go away. 

Clint notices your sadden expression and is serious for once. “Y/n, what’s going on?”

“I get these stupid fucking migraines and it only seems to be getting worse and I don’t want anyone to think I’m weak and I want Natasha but I don’t want to bother her with my problems.” You unload, holding back tears.

“I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t know how to make you feel better,” he confesses, “however why don’t you try to take a nap in your own bed and if you really don’t want Tasha to find you I can keep her distracted.” You nod and he helps you back out of the vents, climbing down after you. 

“Clint?” you say as he’s leaving the room and he turns around, “thanks.”

---

Clint makes his way to the common room where he sees Steve talking to Natasha. 

“Hey guys, what’s up?” He asks with a smile, faltering when he sees Natasha looks upset. “Nat, what’s wrong?”

“I think Y/n is going to break up with me.” She says, her voice thick with emotion. 

Steve frowns. “I told you not to jump to conclusions, maybe you should just talk to her.” Natasha just shakes her head, looking down and taking a deep breath, trying to regulate her emotions. 

“Y/n’s going to hate me for this,” Clint says as two pairs of eyes turn to him, “but you should go to your room, I promise that she’s not planning on breaking up with you.” 

Natasha noticeably brightens. “Are you sure?”

Clint nods. “I’m sure, she said not even five minutes ago that she wanted you. She’s going through some shit right now that you should talk to her about but she wouldn’t break up with you.” 

“Thanks.” Natasha replies, before hurrying to your shared room, worried about you after what Clint said. 

---

You curl up on the bed and let a few tears fall out and before long you are full on sobbing. You always try to stay strong and not cry but you just can’t deal with the migraines anymore. The bed shifts behind you and you sit up straight looking behind you. Natasha is climbing on to it and looking at you with a worried expression on her face. 

“I thought Clint was going to keep you busy.” You say, sniffling to try to stop your tears.

“He must have lied because he told me to come here.” She responds. 

“He’s an asshole.” 

She gives a small laugh. “Normally yes, but he did the right thing, I want to help you with whatever is upsetting you.” 

“You shouldn’t have to deal with me like this,” you tell her, “my migraines are my problem that I have to deal with.” 

She moves across the bed and puts her arms around you. “No sweetheart, I’m here with you.” You start to cry again, this time while it’s slightly from the pain it’s mostly because you feel so overwhelmed with how much she supports you. She pulls you in tightly to her chest, and plants a kiss on the top of your head. 

“I will always be here for you if you need something ok?” she says. “But now you need to rest.” 

“But-” you start to protest before she cuts you off. 

“No buts, you need sleep.” She says while shushing you. You wiggle back, trying to be as far into arms as possible before you slowly drift off, the pain of the migraine going away and all you can feel is warmth.

---

Taglist: @fayhar @stephanieromanoff @stop-drop-and-drumroll @acertainredhead​ (if you want to be added, comment, send an ask, or message me)

[petri808]

Quarantine memories fic hoarding craze for @thenaluarchive

— thank you to @phoenix-before-the-flame for helping jump start this fic 💜

It was Natsu Dragneel’s absolute favorite time of the day. 1 pm for him, and 8 am for Lucy, his… well, right now they were just online friends separated by distance and priorities. But judging by how he talked about her to friends, you’d never know it. They’d met three years ago on Twitch through a random chat stream about an anime series, and he continued following Lucy on her writing streams. Three years ago, she was a sophomore in college while he was in his senior year. Lucy later moved on to a graduate program, but they stayed in touch, growing close. To Natsu, she wasn’t just some girl online but a real friend he cared very much about. His friends called Lucy his online girlfriend. Pfft. He wished he could call her that.

Roughly two thousand miles away, Lucy Heartfilia was hating life. Her curtains were drawn, and a blanket was pulled over her head to drown out the light. The air conditioner was down to 60 degrees Fahrenheit, working against the low-grade fever and pounding migraine born yesterday. Migraines… the bane of her otherwise healthy existence. It was her fault after all, the temptation of a chocolate dessert knowing full well it was one of her triggers brought on said migraine and all she could do was bear it.

Why?

“Stupid hoarders!” Lucy groaned to herself.

As if dealing with a pandemic wasn’t bad enough, people’s selfish reactions to it were worse. A government agency had claimed that acetaminophen products could help with the virus’s symptoms, so what did people do? Panic buying anything and everything they could find containing that drug! The problem for people like Lucy, is the one over the counter medication that helped with her migraines was Excedrine… an acetaminophen product! And she’d just. run. out.

Lucy’s phone rang and she knew exactly who it could be based on the time. So, she clicked the answer button without opening her eyes.

“Hey, Natsu,” she groaned out.

“Morning Lucy! Oh geez, you sound like a frog.”

“Thanks,” she retorted sarcastically. “I’ve got a migraine.”

“Ouch.” Natsu genuinely flinched. He rarely got headaches, but this wasn’t the first time he’d talked to Lucy when she was going through one, so he knew what she was going through. “The meds aren’t helping?”

Lucy sighed. “I ran out. And did you see the news about all the hoarding? Every store here is bought out. It… sucks.”

“I could check around here and send you any I find,” he offered.

“Aww, that’s sweet of you Natsu, but I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“Pfft. Nonsense. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

“Thanks, Natsu. I appreciate it.” Lucy smiled through the pain. There’s a good reason her feelings for the man had grown over the years. His sweet and caring, yet fun and goofy, positive personality was an easy drug to get hooked to.

“Anyway, I gotta get back to work.” Natsu whined. “Good morning again, stay hydrated, and I’ll check on you again when I’m finished for the day, okay Lucy? Get some rest.”

“Have a good day at work Natsu.”

“Will now, after hearing your voice. Talk to you later Luce.”

She giggled softly. “Bye, Natsu.”

Lucy shifted under her blanket as she clicked off the phone to lie on her back. His sexy voice did wonders for her mood despite the pain still ravaging it. Now all she had to do was drag herself out of bed to eat something and drink water. She never had an appetite when she got these migraines, but it was a necessary fuel to fight it. All Lucy had left were extra strength Tylenol, so she could only hope it would at least take the edge off until the migraine ran its course.

Like so many others, this pandemic had really taken a toll on Lucy’s psyche. It’s not as if she went out a lot before it took hold, but just the fact it made going out dangerous brought different emotions to the situation. School had moved online which sucked all its own, she missed casually hanging out with friends on campus, and simply longed for the freedom of leaving her apartment as she pleased. But she understood the precautions of a quarantine. Frankly, she agreed with the city’s efforts to keep them as safe as possible no matter how many grumbled about it. Did it make it easier? No. But it was a necessary evil.

They weren’t completely trapped, could shop for necessities, visit family or friends, just encouraged to limit such gatherings as a safety precaution. If you went out, wear a mask, and just don’t stand too close to other people. Well, unless Lucy knew the person, why would she want strangers in her personal bubble anyway? And the mask thing? Have you ever been out shopping, and someone just sneezes without covering their mouth? Yeah— seriously, would it kill people to use one?! Why were people so selfish during times like this? Not everyone, but too many. Just like with all the hoarding frenzies that swept through cities, it was frustrating and— “Ugh…” being in a pain-driven bad mood was sure bringing her down today.

But despite all the external frustrations, the feelings of isolation from being in a quarantine for months were probably the most mentally exhausting part. It was lonely being so far away from home during a pandemic. Lucy’s been in college for five years and while she’s made friends in the new city, she was starting to crave comfort instead of an empty apartment. Her life online was one of the few things that made her happy, like Natsu’s daily calls, and kept her sane.

Natsu… her face heated up every time she thought about the man. They didn’t have a lot of hobbies in common, but he was always so supportive and made her laugh like no other could. Where they lacked in commonality, was made up in ease of conversation. It hadn’t taken very long for their online chats to feel more like an old friend and less like a faceless stranger. Over the years they’d talked about meeting in person one day after she finished school. It also helped that he was from a city not too far from where she came from, so if she chose to move back it would be convenient. But she also loved the new city she called home. Oh well, Lucy sighed. It was a decision still a couple of years away to make.

The next morning, Lucy woke up to find her migraine had finally given up. She could still feel the little bastard hiding, simmering somewhere ready to strike, but if it stayed mellow, it was something she could tolerate. Throughout the day, Lucy wasted no time in catching up on the homework she couldn’t finish the day before and making sure to stay hydrated with food in her stomach.

Lucy’s phone rang around 2pm.

“Hi Natsu, how was work?”

“Same ole, same ole,” he chuckled. “And how are you? Still feeling, okay?”

“Yeah, it hasn’t come back.”

“That’s great!”

Lucy could hear a lot of background noise, so she asked about it. “Oh, you’re not home yet?”

“Nah, and the commuters are being extra noisy today,” he responded benignly. “Anyway, tonight I won’t have time to talk cause I got a project due for work I need to finish.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Yeah, I’m still catching up from yesterday too and Levy’s dropping by for dinner.”

They chat for a few minutes about their day as Natsu waited for transportation. Lucy knew he used the subway to and from work, but today it sounded a little different, noisier and she swore there were engines instead of the normal train sounds. Maybe it was static. Finally, Lucy caught the muffled words now boarding.

“Shucks, time for me to go,” Natsu cut through. “Sweet dreams Lucy! I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Natsu!”

Lucy spent the afternoon relaxing online, chatting with friends and gaming. Her friend Levy McGarden later dropped by with take-out food for dinner and the two women caught up on random topics while movies droned on the television. They were both in grad school, so during the semester there wasn’t a lot of time to hang out, but they made do. Lucy was also doing a paid internship at a local magazine 4 days out of the week as part of her master’s program. She really enjoyed working there under one of the senior editors. He made it a fun learning experience.

Life was almost perfect except for the background isolation of the pandemic. Lucy was glad she wasn’t one of the individuals affected by jobs cuts, but it still got under her skin to feel trapped in a way. It was nice with her friend over... ‘Maybe I should see if Levy wants to become roommates?’ She wondered as she drifted off to sleep. The apartment would sure feel a lot less empty.

A knock at the door roused Lucy from her sleep. She blinked and yawned, looking at the alarm clock and that said 9 am the next morning. ‘Natsu didn’t call,’ she thought how odd. Maybe he slept in after working late.

Lucy dragged herself out of bed, throwing on a robe to answer the front door. “Gimme a sec,” she called out as she neared it.

“UPS delivery, ma’am.” The male voice responded.

‘UPS?’ Lucy grew confused. She didn’t remember ordering anything through them, but maybe she’d forgotten?

She peaked out of the peep hole, but all she could see was the box being held up. Okay a little weird, but some of the delivery people did that to show they were legitimate service people. Lucy slowly opened the door but kept the chain lock on while peering through the gap. But what she saw next brought on instant tears.

“H-How?” Her voice stammered out as her fingers quickly undid the lock and opened the door wide.

There Natsu stood holding a small brown box, dressed in a uniform of sorts, with a mask hanging under his chin, and wearing a goofy grin.

Lucy snorted a laugh as her eyes crinkled in happiness. “Is that a Halloween costume?”

“Yeah,” his smile widened, and hand scratched his head. “Surprise delivery,” Natsu held out the box, “for Lucy Heartfilia.”

“What is it?” She asked as she took it from him.

“Oh, I um found you Excedrine.”

Lucy opened the box to find 4 bottles. “You certainly did,” she laughed. “But why’d you bring it yourself?”

“It was quicker than the mail and… I hoped…” Natsu’s mannerism grew sheepish and tentative, “it was about time we finally met in person?”

Her face softened with a smile. “It truly is.” Lucy gestured into the apartment. “Please, make yourself at home.”

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter II | Raul Mendes

                                          *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the second chapter of this series, you can find the first one here. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter

*Word Count: 5.2K+

*Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence/crimes, migraine due to work stress, Raul teasing the reader endlessly (for me, that’s the most important warning). Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 8th, 2021.

                                                    -*-

A week later things were back to normal. 

Sure, the night they came back, after they were checked for any injuries on the med department and were cleared, Raul dragged her back to his apartment claiming he was craving sushi and he was only ordering if she was with him. In reality, that was a way to keeping his head busy with something else so the events of that day would be coped nicely without so much suffering. And one way of doing it was keeping his girl, best friend and partner, at a close distance so he knew she’d be safe and well. 

He was extra sweet that night, making sure she had everything she needed, even agreed to put on face masks with her while watching a random movie. And she was really glad to have him near. The thought of him getting her, or worst... it just killed her a bit. But he was safe and he had his arms securely around her, and that was enough to put her on dreamland and having a great night of sleep.

Unfortunately that was not the case for Y/N today. 

Ever since Seth was back, he spent most of his time on the med bay to recover, he had to go through surgery and was finally recovering, but ever since he was back, every piece of information he had was being collected, and she was the one responsible to write it down. Most of the info he had was encoded and she was supposed to break it. Y/N’s been working nonstop for the past week, and when she had the opportunity to relax all by herself in her house, she felt restless. The main reason is that the person who had Seth was one of the most wanted man on the planet. Geonoff Reyes was capable of the vilest things without giving a second thought, and he’s been wanted for years now, and apparently Seth had the newest information of his whereabouts and new plans.

And knowing that was enough to put Y/N in restless nights of sleep, when she was even able to drift off. Most of her hours were invested on figuring out whatever she could, and several nights were only the continuation of her job during the day. And yeah, it was reckless and a bit stupid of her to sacrifice so much in a research, but Y/N knew this was a great opportunity and the biggest amount of clues they’ve ever received, she couldn’t let this all go. And she had to work fast, so Geonoff didn’t have enough time to notice some information missing or that someone outside of his limited inner circle so he wouldn’t chance anything. Or even move outside the country again, putting a massive political obstacle on their way. 

Y/N should’ve known better than to barely get any sleep in over seven days. She knew better than to barely eat or drink anything other than coffee. She knew and did it anyone. And that’s why she ended up where she was. Seven A.M. sharp on her little office on her company’s Head Quarters with a killing migraine that only got worse under the fluorescent lights. Y/N groaned softly as she basically collided on her office chair, cursing under her breath whoever thought bright white lights was a great idea. She was softly rubbing her temples when she heard a knock on her door, before someone came in without being invited, a delicious smell of coffee coming alongside the intruder. She didn’t need to look up to know Raul would be standing right in front of her desk. 

“What?” she grumbled, spinning in her chair to turn on her computer without even sparing a glance at him. 

Raul chuckled “good morning to you too, sunshine, I’m not even daring to ask how you are”

Y/N rolled her eyes and wincing at the pain the movement brought her “look, go pester someone else, I’m not in a good day”

“Yeah, that’s easy to see, gremlin, that’s why I brought you this” and a soft thud on her desk made her turn.

Raul was standing in front of her desk as she imagined, wearing his usual black outfit, a long sleeved tight turtleneck, accentuating all the muscles on his arms and back, tucked into a pair of dark grey trousers and Y/N had to hold back all her thoughts that were rather inappropriate to have on your best friend. And she wanted to be mad at how effortlessly beautiful he looked, just standing there, hands supporting his weight on the glass table as he leant forward casually to pick at her computer. He looked like a fucking runaway model at seven in the morning, his citric scent leaving her slightly intoxicated, but she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just naturally hot. 

She than darted her eyes from his body quickly to not seem as if she was ogling him, which she totally was, only to be met with a steaming cup of black coffee. She rolled her eyes on the little attempts of black hearts he drew with a sharpie alongside a poorly written ‘secret admirer’ on the disposable cup. Y/N shook her head huffing a laugh as she took it.

“Aren’t you supposed to thank me?”

Y/N arched her brow at him “what for, exactly?”

“For being the best friend you’ll ever have?!” he stated as if it was obvious “come on, you look like you need it and I swear I didn’t spike it with anything”

“You’re saying you did out of your own free will? A benevolent act?” Y/N questioned playfully inspecting the cup.

Raul scoffed feigning hurt “Of course, I’m a good guy, practically a gentleman, you gremlin, how dare you think any different?” Behind all the teasing in his voice, she could see the worry evident in his golden eyes. Raul didn’t know all the details about what she was digging into since that were her boss’s order, but he knew enough to know she was probably overworking herself and getting a bit anxious. He knew her better than anyone and there were barely any secrets between them. 

“Fine” Y/N sighed taking a sip from the coffee, and it was precisely what she liked “thank you for being a decent human being once in your lifetime”

“You are very welcome, so any news?” he asked pointing to the screens of her computer. 

“Not really, I guess I was too tired to do much last night” she said opening all the images she had collected over the past week on her five computer screens “you know basically all the important stuff I gathered, I’m also monitoring the surveillance cameras on the places he might be, trying to get a glimpse of him, but till now nothing, only this car that’s been parked here for five days now”

“Weird”

Y/N giggled to herself before closing everything again “yeah, I know”

“So, I didn’t exactly came here just for the coffee” Raul said crossing his arms across his chest, standing on his full height, his biceps popping against the fabric of his shirt. 

“Of course not, I was just waiting for you order, cap”  she said as she reached into her purse for a painkiller.

His signature smirk appeared as he beamed down at her “Don’t tempt me, doll” 

“What is it then?” she asked and before Raul could reply, someone knocked on her door.

“Come in” he managed to say before her and soon enough Raul’s copy stuck his head inside. 

“Oh hi guys” Peter said before fully walking in and closing the door behind him “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, what do you need?” Y/N said turning to face him completely. 

Seeing Peter right beside Raul just made them look a lot more different. Sure, they were triplets, but they had completely opposite personalities. While Raul looked like a super model bad boy out of every romcom, Peter looked soft and gentle. He was just as handsome, his hair a bit more messy and a pair of glasses perched on his nose, adding to the soft features. He also wore light washed jeans and a very soft looking button up, a permanent blush on his cheeks. And despite the 6’3 and big muscles, he was almost like a walking teddy bear with a golden heart, specially if you got to know him. 

“I actually have some stuff for you two to test on my lab downstairs, and I thought since I was already here I could call you two to join me”

“Oh of course” Y/N said jumping to her feet and cursing under her breath, momentarily having forgotten the excruciating migraine she was still having “now right?”

“Yeah, but only if you can”

“Sure, come on, Raul” Y/N said grabbing her cup of coffee before walking to the door.

Raul chuckled lowly before following her and his brother to the elevator “whatever you say, boss”

“Don’t give me any ideas” she mumbled before pressing the button, but as soon as the doors opened, Y/N regretted getting out of her office.

Standing on the elevator was Daphne. Daphne was one breathtakingly gorgeous woman. With bright green eyes and golden soft model like waves, always dressed nicely and with paper white teeth, and to top that, she was a great agent. But she clearly had a crush on Raul and she’s been hitting on him for a while now, but he didn’t seem to care much, which made no sense at all. And for some reason she wasn’t as friendly towards Y/N, Daphne was never directly rude, but she always made sure to look her up and down and was never her friendly self. And Y/N wasn’t one to push anyone to like her, it just made situations like this a bit more awkward. 

“Oh hello” Daphne said with a warm smile.

“Morning” Raul responded as he climbed in the elevator. 

Y/N mumbled a quick “hi” before moving to the back of it with Peter. 

Daphne turned towards Raul and gently placed her hand on his bicep “I heard about the little incident on your latest mission, are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, not even a single scratch”

“That’s great, I mean, how did it happen again? Was it a failure on the planning or watching?” she asked and Y/N almost spat the coffee she was drinking, seeing Peter send a look her way.

“It was my fault actually, the team handed it pretty well” Raul replied unceremoniously.

“Oh, I see” she said pulling her hand from his arm and nervously placing a strand of loose hair behind her ear “hm, actually there was something I wanted to ask you”

God, how long could this elevator take to arrive on the last floor.

Raul only hummed in response, turning his face to the side to watch her so Daphne proceeded “Hm, there’s this new place that opened this weekend down the street and apparently the sandwiches there are amazing, me and a few other agents were planning to have lunch there today, and I was wondering if you’d like to join”

With that he truly seemed taken aback a bit “oh, I unfortunately can’t today, I’m sorry” with that he turned back to face Y/N “that’s what I wanted to tell you earlier, we have that lunch meeting today, Shawn’s in town and he wanted to invite you to lunch with us and his friends”

“Oh shit, I completely forgot” Y/N whined, her head pounding “I don’t think I can make it today, I’m so sorry”

Raul smiled softly at her “yeah, I figured, if you get any better let me know”

“Oh you’re sick?” Daphne asked turning to her as well.

Y/N shook her head, regretting it immediately “just a bit of a migraine”

“I hope you get better soon” Daphne offered a tight lip smile and Y/N just nodded in response.   

“We’re here” Peter said for the first time “Bye, Daphne” he said getting out of the elevator pulling Y/N with him. 

“Why are you running? Slow down, you’re gonna pull my arm off” Y/N hushed it as Peter kept on with the fast pace. 

“What was that?” he asked in a low tone.

Y/N then came in realization “right?! Why won’t he go out with her?”

“I think he might be just not interested at all, but I wasn’t talking about that, you know Raul can be pretty secretive about his feelings, right?” Peter asked with an archer brow, knowing look on his eyes. 

Y/N stepped into his lab alongside him “well yeah”

“I don’t know, I think I saw something there”

“Between me and Raul?!”

Peter leaned against his desk with his arms crossed “Well, more of him towards you, it’s actually something I’ve been noticing for a while”

“What are you even talking about? He’s always been like that with me” Y/N tried avoiding Peter’s gaze, afraid somehow that would give away the little spark of hope on her eyes. 

“No, I mean, yes, but I feel like that intensified a bit, just pay attention to it” he said and then looked behind her.

Y/N turned around only to be met with Raul standing at the door “sorry, got a little caught up”

“We noticed, cap, it’s okay, no important details were discussed in your absence” she said teasingly and he just rolled his eyes playfully at her. 

“Okay, I upgraded your coms a bit, so switching between channels will be easier” Peter started picking up the little earpieces up “And I also took notes about the appearance of my glasses yeah? Now would you mind approving the design of it, miss fashion icon”

Y/N laughed softly and went to check on the 3D design “thank you, I do take fashion very seriously, I only loose it to your brother”

Raul scoffed “Of course I would be involved in it somehow”

Peter laughed “come on, I need to show you this thing I want to put on your suit, Y/N can you please check the new computer I promised you?”

“Oh my, it’s ready?” She said turning to them, suddenly feeling a lot better.

“It’s on the corner right there, just feel free to explore it and adapt it to how you like it best, and then it’s yours” Peter said with a bright smile on his features as he dragged Raul away. 

Y/N sat down on the desk he pouted at, opening the super resistant protective case and being faced with a beautiful tiny computer she could use on future missions. She finished her coffee, feeling the medicine kick in as she dumped the empty cup on the trash, before sitting down in front of her new screen and starting to work on it. Y/N lost track of time as she explored the new configurations, installed the programs she used. She only noticed she’s been there for over two hours when she felt someone carefully placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looked up to check the time, being met with Raul standing right beside her. 

“Oh, hi” she said feeling her face warming up as he smiled softly at her. 

“Don’t spend too much time with this, you’ll have more opportunities later, sweetheart, don’t force yourself too much” he squeezed her shoulder a bit and she sighed nodding “how are you feeling?”

She looked up at him, cracking her back on the process “Better, I think the coffee helps a bit and the painkiller did a great job”

“Good, I’m guessing you still won’t be able to make it to Shawn’s crowded and noisy lunch” Raul had a little amused look in his eyes and Y/N giggled at that, shaking her head.

“Definitely not, might as well skip lunch and nap on my lunch break”

Raul nodded “It’s tempting but you need food, now how about I take you to that salad shop you like, we buy ourselves a quick to go one, eat it at your office and nao for like, forty minutes maybe? How does that sound?”

Y/N contained the urge to lunch forward and wrap him in her arms “Pretty fucking great, but what about Shawn?”

“I’ll meet him later for dinner with Peter, so he wouldn’t mind”

“Oh”

“So, are you in, doll?”

Y/N shook her head “you had me in the forty minute nap, say no more”

Raul laughed “Of course I had, know you better than anyone”

“That is unfortunately true” she mumbled grabbing the computer and getting up.

Raul stared at her quizzically “Why is that unfortunate?”

“Cause that will only feed your ever growing ego”

“You wound me, sweetheart” he said with frightened hurt, a hand clutched over his heart. 

Y/N rolled her eyes at him as they both said their goodbyes to Peter, who only threw a knowing look in her direction and a little wink when Raul wasn’t looking. She only rolled her eyes, shoving her middle finger in the air behind Raul’s back to Peter, who only laughed in response. But Raul might have felt her arm hovering his back, cause he looked down at her, throwing his charming smile down at her and throwing his arm around her shoulders as the climbed in the elevator again. 

Oh great, now Y/N had one more thing to keep her awake all night, wondering if she was crazy and Raul could be somehow interested in her and if she should do something about it. But do what? Tell him she liked him? Kissing him? Confronting someone who already has a hard time talking feelings about how he felt about her?! Only terrible scenarios played in her head with every little thing she thought about. But before she could go on spiraling, Raul gently squeezed her shoulder making Y/N look up at him. 

“Still with me, sweetheart?” he asked smirking at her and she only huffed rolling her eyes, making Raul full on laugh. 

                                                  -*-

Later that morning, they ended up following Raul’s idea. Around noon he knocked on her office again, with his leather jacket and ready to go, Y/N then just grabbed her coat and purse, ready to follow him to the elevator again. They kept a light banter, talking about conspiracy theories and random gossip, and she felt really better but was too tired to socialize with a lot of people. So they walked down the street a couple of blocks to a little shop where they bought salad bowls and iced tea “to balance things out” according to Raul about how much coffee she’s had the past week. 

They ordered to go and walked back to the HQ that looked like a very fancy business building, but instead of going back to her office, they headed to Raul’s instead. There they sat down on his couch since it was bigger as they casually had lunch, and right after, he convinced Y/N to get comfortable on the couch as he relaxed right next to her. Y/N curled into a little ball on the further corner of the couch, but he was quick to tut his tongue at her. 

“Here, sweetheart, you can lay your head on my lap and stretch your legs on the couch, yeah? And you can grab that little fluffy blanket if you want” He was quick to offer and Y/N sighed.

“Are you sure?” she asked eyeing him suspiciously “I don’t want to bother you” he chuckled softly and nodded

“Of course, we still have 50 minutes of lunch break, nap a bit, baby, come here” Raul said in such a gentle tone, almost cooing at her and how could she possibly say no to that?

She removed her boots before laying her head on his lap and pulling her legs to stretch across the rest of the couch, while she got comfy, she felt the gentle weight of the thick fluffy blanket being laid on top of her. Y/N sighed in relief as she slowly closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully relax, and feeling the soft caress of Raul’s fingers gently combing through her hair was only making it easier to fall asleep. And so she did. 

She dreamed of something random, she was stuck in a boat and it didn’t really make much sense, but it was better than the sleepless nights or the scary things her mind came up with. So waking up was not the best sensation, but Raul managed to make the experience less unpleasant. He was very softly coaxing her to wake up, by gently shaking her shoulder and caressing her cheek, slowly calling her name. Y/N could get used to it. 

Raul truly didn’t want to do it, he, himself, didn’t want to get up. He ended up falling asleep a few minutes in, but the timer on his phone vibrating on his hand woke him when he promised he’d wake her up. He almost didn’t have the heart to do it. Y/N looked so peaceful, the frown that’s been on her brows for the whole week was finally gone, but he knew if he didn’t wake her, she’d spend her day blaming herself and wouldn’t be able to sleep properly at night. So he cleared his throat and started calling her gently not to startle her.

Y/N started coming slowly back to her senses, slowly sitting up from Raul’s lap, rubbing at her eyes and checking her phone quickly for important notifications. A low chuckle brought her attention away from her phone and to her best friend beside her, to which she just truly looked at, being able to notice the throw pillow creases on his cheek, the soft curls of his hair a bit messier than usual.

“Hi” he mumbled softly. 

Y/N smiled at him before mumbling a “hi” in response. 

“Sleep well?” Raul asked as he stretched his arms above his head and she nodded “yeah? I ended up joining you in your nap”

“Don’t blame you, this is a really nice couch”

“Right? Unfortunately this was the first time I took full advantage of it” he chuckled as he got up from the couch, moving to turn on his computer.

Y/N just chuckled before nearly folding his blanket back in its place “well thank you for everything, you truly are a great friend, but I should probably leave and stop bothering you”

“You never bother me, and I know, I’m the best friend anyone could ever wish for” he said sitting on his chair as she leaned down to put her shoes back on. 

She just rolled her eyes at him, grabbing her stuff before getting up “there you go, ruining a perfectly sweet moment”

Raul laughed “that’s my biggest ability, doll, thought you knew that already”

“Should’ve guessed it” Y/N said as she opened his door “see you later, thanks again”

Raul just winked at her “anytime” before she closed his door and moved to her office shaking her head, but unable to hold back the smile from blossoming on her lips. 

Maybe Peter was wrong and just messing things up, how could he not notice the way Raul affected her? But saw the way he was different with her? It made no sense. And there was no time to go into the rabbit hole, she had better things to do, like spend countless hours uselessly trying to crack a code. 

                                                  -*-

In the middle of Y/N’s afternoon shift, she was able to spot Geonoff himself on one of the surveillance cameras she’s been watching incessantly for the past weeks. She basically tripped on her on shoes as she scrambled up to her computer to register the appearance, quickly sending it to her boss. They finally were sure where he was and maybe that was enough to set up a plan or something to get him. 

Geonoff Reyes was one of the most wanted man right now by intelligences from multiple countries. The man himself had a long list of crimes, that if there was an opportunity would be enough to sentence him for thousands of years. Most of Geonoff’s crimes were related to the mafia, he was one of the biggest and most dangerous bosses there was. He started fairly young, around 15 years old, but that was the extent of information everyone had on his childhood. Some liked to guess it was what kind of household he was raised to blame the way he had become what he became. 

He’s been chased for years now, and that’s why Y/N was quick to let her boss, Mrs. Benson, know she found him, compiling all the information she was able to gather this past week in files. So she did what she could and it took her around an hour to have everything printed and organized in a folder, letting Janet she was coming and basically running to the elevator to get to her office. 

The heavy metal doors opened on the waiting room outside of  her office, being met with Luca, Janet’s personal assistant, who winked at her and pointed at the door. Y/N smiled at him and knocked on the dark wooden doors, opening it silently as she heard people talking inside. Her office was decorated very minimalistic and was usually a very pristine place, but today, there were papers everywhere as Janet, Helen (Janet’s right hand), Dimitri (head of security department) and Raul Mendes stood there apparently discussing the same case. 

“Thank God you’re here, darling, please come out this madness to an end” Janet said with a gentle smile as she pointed towards the mess in her table.

Helen chuckled as Dimitri was quick to push their papers to a corner on the table. 

“Thank you” Y/N mumbled as she placed her folder down.

Raul silently move to stand right next to her, a careful hand laying on the small of her back in a comforting touch as she looked up at Janet to check if she could start. With a nod from the boss, she started pulling all the evidence she could. All the pictures, the surveillance images, the documents Seth was able to bring back and information he was able to remember as well.

With everything laid out on the table and presented to all of them, Janet ended up telling what she’d been discussing with Helen for the past two days. They both figured the best thing to do at the moment, since they didn’t have enough evidence to make an arrest for this crime and maybe this was a great opportunity to catch another people involved, not only Geonoff. The plan was basically getting new identities and keep a close eye on all of his activities, track down his moves and if possible get even more evidence. 

Raul was called because he was the best for this kind of jobs and would be a great leader to the team, Y/N was offered to join the team as well, being his partner and leading the strategic part of the plan. They were also told to pick other agents that they knew would be great for this specific operation, Janet only asking to keep it at a maximum of 5 people including them, the less people knowing, the better.

Of course both agreed and were also instructed to inform Peter so he could separate the gadgets necessary, and obviously intensify their physical training. Despite this being mostly and observant kind of mission, Geonoff was unpredictable and highly dangerous, so being well prepared and extra careful wouldn’t be a bad idea. They were both dismissed for the day and the early shift next morning, so they could rest and plan it as best as they could.

So Y/N was quick to bid her goodbyes as she placed everything neatly back on the folder and moved out of the room. As soon as she pressed the button to call the elevator, she heard the office door opening and closing again, rushed steps moving closer to her. She didn’t even need to look to know Raul was the one approaching her since his scent clouded every room he ever stepped into, she only shook her head and looked up at her right as he stood right beside her. He smirked at her with a little wink. 

“My house or yours, doll?” he asked as they climbed into the elevator. 

“Tonight?” she eyed him suspiciously as she pressed the button to her floor to grab her stuff and he leaned in to press the one to Peter’s. Y/N glanced at him and noticed he had all of his personal belongings with him. 

“Of course, I’ll even order from that Thai place you like”

Y/N giggled shaking her head “of course you will, am I supposed to spend the night?”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I’ll invite Peter too” he said with a smile.

Y/N folded her arms across her chest “I thought we were supposed to rest?”

“Oh but we will, I’ll make sure you’ll fall sleep at reasonable hours, eat properly and all that stuff, of course we’re gonna take a look at work, but just a little” he said with a knowing look.

“Fine, daddy” she added with annoyance, rolling her eyes, Raul just laughed and shook his head.

“You can’t just say stuff like that, sweetheart”

“What? Does it do something for you?” She asked looking up at him and he just shrugged as the doors opened at her floor.

“There’s only one way to find out, doll” he added with a smirk, a teasing tone evident on his voice as he leaned the weight of his body on the elevator doors to hold it for her, shoulders crossed over his broad chest, biceps flexing against the material of his shirt. 

Y/N rolled her eyes stepping out of the elevator, ignoring the heat creeping up her face and the stupid flutter on her lower stomach, turning to face him as she said “see you later, Mendes”

“See you, and oh, don’t forget your gym attire, we’re going running at 5:30 sharp tomorrow, bye bye now” he blew her a kiss as he stepped inside and the doors closed before she could add anything. 

He was definitely trying to kill her in all the ways possible, she just didn’t know which way would be the fatal blow. 

                                                    -*-

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*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

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*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

@mariamuses

[sixstepsaway]

This has nothing to do with OFMD but as someone who also suffers from ADHD (as well as rapid-cycling bipolar disorder which is like having ADHD: Extreme Edition) but I'm so glad to hear that you've found meds that work. And that it's Elvanse! I've been on it for years now and it is truly life-changing. Congrats on your brain finally chilling out a bit 💗

Thank you so much. I'm so sorry you have ADHD and bipolar, that must make your brain very hard to deal with. I have ADHD and autism, and sometimes it feels like my brain is at war with itself.

Earlier, a friend said, "Stupid brains (and then I tell myself that doesn't help, it's a good brain and body that are trying so hard)"

to which I responded, "the brains and the bodies are much like izzy hands: deeply infuriating but trying their best damnit" which I think is very applicable to all of this.

The Elvanse is an absolute gift. I'm being titrated by Psych UK, which means they started me on the lowest dose (20mg) and every week I go up 10mg until I reach 60mg (though my nurse has decided to try me on 70mg after the 60 week ends).

The first week was a miracle because it cured the fatigue I've suffered with since I was 14. I took my first dose at 7pm on that Wednesday when I woke up, then passed the ever loving fuck back out and slept until 9 or 10pm and then got up, which was baffling and amazing because I have never in my life been able to nap any less than 3-4 hours, and I woke up feeling so refreshed I nearly cried.

And then the next day I got up at 7pm again (I am nocturnal for many reasons) and took my meds and stayed up????? Instead of sleeping through until 2am???

The 20mg did nothing for my inattentiveness, just gave me more energy. The 30mg felt about the same. The 40mg was a little better, but about the same. The 50mg week lined up with my PMDD and I wanted to let a boulder roll over me, so I didn't really get to feel the 50mg week at all, and my nurse said we could either go back to 40mg (which had seemed like my best week) or try 60mg and 70mg. We decided on keeping going. The 50mg (and prior doses) I was really struggling with executive dysfunction. I couldn't pry myself off on on of anything, and I'd get really upset with myself because I'd sit here, playing Minecraft, actively going, "I need to go to bed," or "I need to write," or "I need to do that sewing," over and over and not being able to move and do any of those things no matter how much I wanted to.

I started my 60mg on Wednesday (and took another Elvanse Nap™ which seems to be my Wednesday tradition at this point) and on Wednesday I:

Set up my bujo pages for filling in for July

Did some tweaking of my Minecraft modpack loot tables

Worked on the ore sprites for that modpack

Refilled my meds

Bulleted my way through 1,700 words of planning my fic

Transferred my ducky diaper pattern to pattern paper

and it was amazing. I feel like a new person? The only side-effects I've had of the Elvanse has been headaches, possibly (but I've had headaches literally my entire life, my little five year old self used to have horrible headaches, they've actually gotten better as I've gotten older but it's been an ongoing and regular thing. I have migraines too) and I had a pretty bad anxiety spike that Wednesday evening, but nothing intolerable.

I'm so happy on these meds, and it's really nice to hear from someone who has been on them for a long time and is still having a good response to and from them, so thank you so much for the message.

[unicorpseboi]

I really hate my neurologist.

I've had a series of upsets with my health for over a decade, and my primary and I have made strides in the last year to get diagnoses and undergo testing and see specialist after specialist.

I've had issues with hypermobility since I was a child; and this goes beyond being flexible. I was put into dance as a kid because I was pigeon-toed and had "flat feet," and my parents thought ballet would fix it. It didn't, ballet only exacerbated my issues that only now at the age of 24 - nearly 17 years later - I've finally gotten a name for. I have a connective tissue disorder. I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome; not that that has been the most welcoming - any outreach of support I've tried to grasp onto has been met with the community slamming doors in my face because I don't know which type for sure yet because more tests and specialist appointments and I live in America, yknow? But I'm just "really flexible" and even the EDS community has been very rigid and cold when I've been advised by my therapist to seek support circles.

I mention this because one of the other issues I've been having for years now is seizures. I've never had a doctor take me seriously when I brought it up; I have a few different psychological diagnoses, so usually I get written off as just having anxiety. When I brought up the "pseudo seizures" to my primary, he asked me to describe them, became quickly alarmed because "no, hun, that doesn't sound like pseudo seizures, that sounds like a clonic seizure, we need to get you in to a neurologist," and then 8 months later I finally managed to find a neurologist who was taking new patients. I go in and see this guy, he does the EEG, he doesn't tell me I don't have epilepsy, he doesn't tell me I do, he just immediately puts me on trokendi. Fucking Trokendi XR. My primary had tried getting me started on trokendi 8 months earlier to get me on something, but I had a really bad reaction to it and my primary took me off of it immediately. I'm having the same bad reaction, but it does seem to be the typical bad side effects that just come with this medication and the dosage adjustment because after about 2 weeks I adjust. But each time my neurologist ups the dose, the side effects get more and more severe. This time around I even started having issues with su*cidal thoughts. My neurologist won't switch my meds because technically I haven't had a seizure or a migraine since starting it.

Here's why I mention my EDS. This is a new concrete diagnosis for me. Like a month ago new. I've been on some pretty strong prescription pain meds for a while now though because before the diagnosis, we had no clue why I had such bad chronic pain and why I couldn't walk and it was worsening over the years. To keep me off of NSAIDS and away from opioids, my primary physician prescribed gabapentin cuz it doubles as a pain medication for fibromyalgia, which is basically a catch all phrase for "we don't know why you're in pain, we can't figure it out, but we know you are in pain." My neurologist told me that he noticed I was on a rather high dose of it, and I told him that yeah, it was hard to take because it would knock me out for the rest of the day and I'd have to sleep it off. So he told me to hand over the remaining medication I had, and he'd write me a new prescription for a slightly lower dosage that way I could still function if I needed to take it. I trusted him, he said the reason I had to hand it over first was because it was a controlled medication. The moment he had all of my pain medication, he decided right then and there that nope, I do not have this diagnosis that he is not qualified to make. That I'm just "really flexible" and that that's "a good thing." I can't walk long distances. I can't stand for more than 10 minutes at a time without my legs giving out from under me and making me fall. I have hurt myself several times falling in parking lots walking out of stores because of this. I have woken up several times with dislocated joints. I am beyond angry at my neurologist, but what am I supposed to do when the country I live in is so broken that the medicaid insurance I'm on isn't accepted everywhere, doctors refuse to take on new patients at the expense of chronically ill patients' health, and doctors abuse patients with no regard to consequences?

[ace-of-gay]

Duuuuude, to think, its been five months and9 days since i almost died from the lowest possible dose of an anticonvulsant is crazy, whats even crazier is the fact that the one thing that was keeping me conscious was the migraine reaction to the smell of teabags ...

Lemme clarify cause i find this really fuckin interesting, now if you dont know how chronic illness are treated its based around a step system, that how it is for migraines at least, they try anxiety, depression, bipolar, anticonvulsants, anti psychotics, before even considering headache pain med, than they put you on high strength shit... well ive been through all of those categories through the span of a year all of which ive had something go wrong i was put on an anticonvulsant and it was the lowest dose and i only took half.

Within five minutes of taking it my head was spinning and gravity was 10 times heavier, 20 minutes and i was on the floor stuck, i had made tea just before taking the med and the tea bags were in the trash. I was laying on the kitchen floor for eight hours staring at the ceiling and almost fell unconscious several times, but because i have sensory sensitive migraine the tea bags smell was permeating through the kitchen, its also what kept me from vomiting.

I was so sure i was going to die and doctor said hes absolutely jaw dropped baffled i was still alive...

I bring all of this up not just cause its an interesting memory but also because i can't drink that tea anymore.

[trampslikeusinthetardis]

Started a new playthrough of New Vegas that I want to be like… THE definitive run for my OC. So in an effort to actually stick with it, I’m gonna chronicle the (mis)adventures of my Courier Six. This is a HEAVILY modded playthrough and hopefully I’ll remember to grab some screenshots from time to time. Thus begins the journey of former Desert Ranger-turned courier, Paige Orlowe! Which starts with her getting her stupid ass ambushed. And then shot. In the head. Twice.

—————

The first sensation she felt was blinding light. The second was a whole helluva lot of pain. OK, ow. Definitely still alive, somehow… she thought, squinting as she tried to sit up.

“You’re awake…how about that…”

“Y-yeahhhhhhh, I think that’s a mistake, Doc,” Paige quipped through gritted teeth. She was fairly familiar with the small town of Goodsprings and its inhabitants, and while this wasn’t her first time seeing Doc Mitchell, it was never for something this bad.

To his credit, the doctor chuckled at her joke and handed her a Reflectron to make sure he put everything back where it was supposed to be. “Couldn’t do anything about the scar, miss,” Doc apologized. “But I figure I got most of it right, stuff that matters.”

“Well, I never was plannin’ on making money off my good looks,” Paige remarked dryly, gingerly touching the scar. Must still be under the effect of Med-X, she thought. It barely registered to her touch, but it was definitely the source of the migraine. Her whole body ached something fierce, which she presumed was probably because she used to be dead. She gently combed a bit of her hair with her fingers and found it was easy to conceal the wound. Some scars were cool, helped you get a few free drinks. Until she got the lay of the land again, best not to go advertising her worst moment.

“OK, well, if you’re awake and able to touch that with minimal discomfort, don’t make much sense to keep you in bed anymore,” the doctor said, standing up and offering his arm to help Paige up. Nodding slowly, she took his arm and stood up shakily, clearly focusing on just keeping herself upright.

The doc ran her through a Vigor Tester exam and a psych eval, which helped distract her from the pain. “OK, that about does it,” he said, closing the small folder and smiling softly. “I put your items in that footlocker over there; sorry for going through your stuff, but it was kinda unavoidable with the whole ‘trying to save your life’ thing,” Doc explained.

“No need to apologize, doc”, Paige replied, walking over and opening it. Guns, check. Armor, check. Pip-Boy, check. Ammo, meds, food… check. Platinum-

“Shit. Hey Doc, did you see a poker chip made of platinum when you brought me in?” she asked, concern clear in her voice.

“Can’t say I did. All I found on ya, I put in there. Might wanna go talk to Victor, he’s the one who dug you up and brought you here,” the doctor replied.

“Thanks, I will,” she said, frowning. If the Chip is gone, then whoever that fuckwad in that dumbass suit was probably has it, she thought as she put her kit back on. The courier adjusted her chest armor carefully, making sure it was secure but not too constrictive. Next her boots, then the duster with the Old World flag on it. Finally, the slings and holster for her guns: her repeater, lever-action shotgun, and her trusty six-shooter. Paige checked each one to make sure it was still fit to fire safely; her revolver still had one dead cartridge in it, the only shot she was able to get off before one of the Khans jumped her. Sighing quietly in frustration at her fuck-up, the courier ejected the round, chambered a new one, then swung the cylinder back into the revolver with a satisfying click!

The doctor watched her quietly, a sad expression on his face as she checked each firearm. “I expect you’ll be wanting to get out there, but if you have any questions, I’ll be here,” he finally said gently, as she holstered the revolver and turned to face him.

“Thanks for patching me up, doc,” she said, pulling out a pair of aviator sunglasses. “I gotta get on the move, but if I do need anything, I’ll letcha know.” She bent down and pulled the last thing out, a dark, large-brimmed hat with a single red stripe around it. Paige put it on, gave the doc a final warm smile, and walked out the door…

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH21

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

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Chapter 21: Star Death Reality Show (IV)

The first winner of the Best of the Day was He Yi.

With the results broadcasted, everyone looked at He Yi, and he looked a little surprised. He was very surprised by this result. He remembered that the invisible camera following him had been shooting him this whole time, so he smiled appropriately: "Thank you for your audience's love. Thank you very much."

He Yi's expression was very surprised, but Janet could only be more surprised than him. She fully thought that her performance yesterday should have been eye-catching, so why couldn’t she get the Best of the Day? Or had He Yi had some unexpected actions while he was alone... She looked at He Yi bitterly and couldn't help but say: "That's really great. Does Mr. He have any unique secrets to share?"

Before He Yi spoke, Xue Jiahui already defended him: "He Yi took care of us when he acted with us, being very gentlemanly, and I think the audience appreciated this very much."

"Oh, I see." Janet held her arm and put her elbow against Alex beside her. "It seems that you’re not enough of a gentleman, dear Alex."

Alex smiled reluctantly. Obviously, being buried by the goddess in his mind is a very bad thing for his self-esteem, and his expression when looking at He Yi was getting worse.

Seeing that this group of people were going to erupt, Dr. Lu couldn't help it: "I say, is now really the time to get tangled up on this? Take the time to look at Jing Siyu’s situation!"

The group of people had a rude awakening and rushed to show their worry, urging Jing Sixue to lead the way.

There’s enough absurd drama, Qi Leren thought. He had been observing the faces of this group of people just now and found nothing unusual. The only irony was that most people here cared more about this reality show than their companions' lives, meaning that the rescue operation at this time was like a self-promotion.

"I found a med kit when I was looking for supplies yesterday. If someone is injured, it should come in handy." Even the black man Mark, who had always been quite silent, showed himself in a timely manner.

Unfortunately, he just said a word and was immediately rebutted by Janet who turned on a "cockfighting" state: "Do you really want her to be hurt? Dear, this is too ungentlemanly."

Awesome, Qi Leren derided this woman in his heart while keeping a straight face. She could kill two people in one sentence. One was Mark just now, and the other is Xue Jiahui who had praised Gentleman He Yi before.

The group of people walked briskly in the snow, and Dr. Lu, who could trip on a flat road, was really afraid of the snow. He took Du Yue's arm carefully. Qi Leren watched him suddenly stumble and be picked up by Du Yue like a chicken, which made his mouth twitch.

"You should be careful," Qi Leren whispered.

Dr. Lu flattened his mouth and stretched out his empty left hand: "Then you can give me a hand."

Qi Leren sighed and was appointed to pull Dr. Lu's left hand. He and Du Yue held Dr. Lu, like a husband and wife holding their child, so as to avoid him falling over in the snow.

"Hey, He Yi actually got the Best for yesterday. Is it because he cooked well?" Dr. Lu winked at Qi Leren.

Qi Leren understood what he meant. The three of them had heard He Yi's question about the village at the end of the memories they reviewed. With his intuition, he was able to get the Best for yesterday, which was closely related to that remark.

If Qi Leren watched such a reality show as an audience member and knew what was going to happen here, he would naturally vote for the person who questioned it first.

When they reached Jing Siyu's house, it was quiet. Jing Sixue led them to a utility room, pointed to a heavy trap door on the ground and said, "This is it! My sister fell down there, but now the trap door is stuck and I can’t open it. I called my sister and she didn't respond to me..."

"I’m stronger, let me try," Alex volunteered, stepping out to try it confidently—the door did not move.

He tried again reluctantly, but it didn't work. Janet sneered rudely. "Come on, dear. To lift this trap door, you can't rely on the muscles trained in your gym."

Alex's face was red and white. He muttered something and pointed to Francis and Mark—perfectly avoiding Qi Leren and Dr. Lu who didn't look very strong, He Yi, and even Du Yue, who was big and muscular, was ignored and passed by: "Give me a hand."

Three people tried it together again, but the trap door still acted as if it was welded to the ground.

He Yi stepped forward, took out a flashlight, and said, "How did your sister fall in?"

Jing Sixue lowered his head and whispered, "I made a plan with her to go in there in the morning. I got up early and came to look for her. My sister has already gotten up, saying that she wanted to clean up, so I would help her. The two of us came to this room and she found a basement that she wanted to open. At that time, the trap door opened easily. I was a little scared and didn't dare to go down. She climbed down with a flashlight and saw something. Then, the bracket of the trap door suddenly loosened and the trap door closed. I heard her scream as if she had fallen to the ground, and then there was no sound."

"Bracket?" He Yi grabbed the keyword in her story and asked: "What kind of bracket was it?"

"The moveable bracket on a door that will automatically jam when the trap door is pulled up, so that it won’t close." Jing Sixue described it with lively gesticulations and worried again, "Why can't the door open? It was so easy before!"

He Yi thought, "Maybe it's stuck. Don't worry, we can find some tools to pry open the trap door. Annie, Mark said you found an axe yesterday but he didn't take it in exchange for supplies. He said you kept it. Can I borrow it now?"

Annie wasn't there when they had exchanged materials yesterday. Mark had said she didn't feel well and was resting in her room. Considering that most people present didn't like this religious fanatic very much, her unsociable behavior was praised.

Annie looked at He Yi. It was an uncomfortable look: "Well, if you need it, go ahead."

"Thank you, where is the axe?" He Yi asked.

"Mark, take him to go get it," Annie said lightly.

"Wait a minute, I'll go too," Qi Leren suddenly stood up.

"Ah, then I also..." Dr. Lu also stood up and pulled Du Yue with him.

"You can watch here, the three of us are enough," Qi Leren urged Dr. Lu and Du Yue to stay here and observe the situation. It wasn’t necessary to put all their eggs in one basket.

It was obvious that the basement door couldn't be opened by strength alone, and neither could the knives assigned by the program group be used. You had to split the trap door with an axe. One group of people would stay here and wait, while the other group would get this item. Qi Leren wanted to make sure that both sides had their own people so as not to miss any important plot points.

Qi Leren, He Yi, and Mark walked out of Jing Siyu's house and headed for Annie's house.

"Is Annie better?" Qi Leren took the time to ask Mark.

In yesterday's search for supplies, Mark was in a group with Annie, and only Mark knew Annie's situation.

"Not bad, she had a migraine. She said that it may be that it’s too cold here, so the blood vessels are tense and contracted. It’s much better now after sleeping for an afternoon and a night," Mark said.

"It seems that you also went to the west yesterday. Did you run into Lara and Francis?" He Yi freely asked.

"No, uh, no, actually I saw them, but we didn't say hello," Mark hesitated. "Annie doesn't like dealing with strangers."

"Are you familiar with Annie?" Qi Leren felt the intimacy between his words.

"Not bad, I’ve worked with her before," Mark said.

As he spoke, the three men came to Annie's house. Mark went in to get the axe, and Qi Leren and He Yi waited for him by the door.

"How did you sleep last night?" He Yi asked.

Qi Leren suddenly raised his head and abruptly met He Yi's deep gaze. He was a little afraid of this person and the details always made him have some fear associations, although he knew it was very unreasonable and it was completely a trauma of being bitten by a snake.

"Not bad." Qi Leren swallowed and stared at the metal exhaust pipe on the outer wall.

"I didn't sleep very well," He Yi said.

"Oh, yeah?" Qi Leren was very perfunctory. He didn't ask why! Don't just follow the routine!

He Yi frowned and said, "It's probably because of the unfamiliar bed. I had nightmares for a long time and I woke up in the middle of the night. I also got up and walked around. When I walked to the window, there was a snowstorm outside. I saw..."

Dong- A loud noise came from the room. Qi Leren and He Yi startled at the same time and suddenly looked into the building.

"Mark? What's going on?" Qi Leren asked loudly.

There was a dead silence.

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