#i took an edible so i have no idea if this makes any sense lmao

[strititty]

per my last reblog i decided to ramble in about nerds aint got shit, my most popular fic.

well, ostensibly i’m rambling about that but honestly i have 3 am motormouth and i took an edible so im just in that sort of mood, you know. all philosophical like. more under the cut

i wrote that fic in 2015 for drone season, when i was living in - and i cannot stress this enough - the MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE, though not as much as i would be the year afterward. my internet was shitty cornfield hotspot net and it was the summer after my first year of college so i had a helluva lot on my mind already.

the original document was just a little notepad file with word wrap turned on cuz that’s how i used to write all my shit, and i’d send people wips via pastebin. can you even imagine? PASTEBIN? i use google docs now but sometimes i wonder if i should go back to notepad lmao. smaller size, less evil google involved. when i was a kid i used word, though i can’t remember when that stopped being a thing. might have been during high school.

since i wrote nerds aint got shit so shortly after i had graduated high school i had a very clear picture of my OWN high school in my head, which probably lends itself to some weird stylistic quirks. my high school was very very small. i shan’t name it, of course, lmao, what am i some sort of fool? but it was tiny as hell and that tends to infect any sort of high school adjacent au i write. rereading it i can so clearly picture MY high school that it’s frankly a little funny.

fortunately my high school only had one creepy teacher and it wasnt the PE teacher + we got his ass fired, but fiction makes for a much more fun place to explore these sorts of ideas for me. idk why i have such a thing about age differences & teacher/student fics but i SURE DO.

i can still remember the summer days writing this fic, kind of, in a hazy way. i remember my phone being the only way i could connect with my friends and loved ones, and the sun beating down, and the way things were far too hot in my little room. my cat had gotten out and gotten pregnant by a farm cat, so i had to cough up money to get her fixed - she should have been already but the people i lived with were less concerned about that sort of thing and i’d been at college so i hadn’t been able to make my case. the kittens were cute but tiny and stunted b/c my cat was very young and small & only two of them survived. i think the third one was stillborn and that my cat ate that one, but since i wasn’t there when they were born i didn’t get a lot of the details.

i still think about this fic sometimes for the memories it draws up and the plans i have to revamp and add on to it--my initial idea was a sort of 7 day format where dave goes back to bro every day of the week, but that was a plot for when i was a more prolific writer with a clearer grasp of smut. now im lucky if i can get a coherent smutty fic down in a few weeks god save me lmao. i don’t know if it’s because i’m older or just a little more burned out.

it was a fun idea though and i do semi frequently consider revisiting it, especially when i get the energy and inspiration to write strider stuff. right now that energy is being conserved for certain other works but hey you never know.

i feel like there’s also a hundred points i could make about how my most popular fic is also my oldest homestuck fic, like. yeah, okay, homestuck was more popular back then, so it makes sense that it would have more kudos and what not. hs fanfic is a much quieter affair now, between the fandom controversy, the natural drop that happens after something ends, and how half of all fandom seems to be girlbossing too close to the hayes code. brodave used to get you 200 kudos and now you get like 20!

and you know i don’t like. hate that. i do post for engagement but i never really expected to be POPULAR you know what i mean? more like sharing this thing i wrote about something i’m interested in-- “i wrote this for me but you can read it too, please enjoy!” energies. but i think that it’s so interesting that something that is now approaching its eighth birthday (What The Fuck) had its biggest surge of participants ages ago. i wonder what they’re doing now and actually whatever theyre doing i hope theyre having fun with it but i don’t need to know because i’ve been burned before okay. ppl turning into fancops or whatever. shitty as hell.

the hour grows late so i shall return to the actual topic at hand:

nerds aint got shit’s ill-begotten romance. that shit was gonna be so toxic. i was definitely gonna write dave growing to sympathize with bro, kind of, with his crush fueled by terror kicked into overdrive. bro’s kind of a sad and pathetic weirdo even though to dave (and this is real, not imagined, dave’s not making it up) he is a significant threat. and dave was going to start to pick up those sad jerk vibes in addition to the horny vibes and start to, in an almost lalondian fashion, romanticize the shit out of it.

in a manner of speaking, anyway. im not sure if that was my full plan or what but there’s also just the gremlin brain breathing heavily going “god this is my favorite dynamic” which back then was fairly true. i had also written almost 20k of original teacher/student fiction so romanticizing that was not a new concept to me. i think there’s a part of me that does want to be in that place, you know, but from a safe distance where it’s also just fun and games.

that’s why fics are fun! that’s why trashy romance is fun :) insert something about ace kink here. i do not want to actually touch it but mentally touching it is ok.

nowadays i don’t write so much teacher/student fic tho im still hells of deep in my love of age differences. more often than not i find myself kind of drawn to a cougar/kid in their late teens dynamic nowadays for original fiction, tho i also love ancient vampire/regular human and just minor age and experience differences.

(jotting down ‘rose lalonde as a cougar’ for a future fic idea thanks)

i think ive grown away from this fic mostly, but it feels like a wild time capsule to me, and maybe one day i will unearth it to add more. maybe in 2025 for the a ten year anniversary.

[fizzingwizard]

and while I'm procrastinating...

I finally, finally cleared my sim's inventory of all fish. I never did it before because the fish was useful for gardening. He had 92 salmon which make excellent fertilizer x'D lmao. I garden a lot so I couldn't bring myself to sell them. Then I had the brilliant idea to just move them to a different sim's inventory temporarily. Yay for ingenious solutions that took me embarrassingly long to figure out.

Once he was fish-free, I had him go fishing and catch a tilapia. The tilapia was excellent quality. Got out the campire and picked Roast Fish. He roasted the fish and for the first time EVER, he enjoyed the meal. It was "excellent" quality when I've only ever gotten "poor" before. Clearly the fish quality matters. Even when he caught fresh fish, because there were 92 foul, stinking salmon in his inventory, he'd end up cooking one of those instead of the good one and then have an upset stomach xP

You may think that should have been obvious BUT in my defense, no other food works like this in sims 4 - Although that's a lie, I don't actually know for sure what happens if you let meat spoil and then try to cook a meat dish. Probably THEN it's poor quality and you get sick. But I don't know because I've never had this issue. Reason being, when I get meat I put it in the fridge right away. You can't roast meat over the campfire, so there's no reason to keep it in your inventory. Plus, if you're not doing the Simple Living challenge, you probably don't even shop for meat.

So your chances of eating bad food because the ingredients were spoiled to begin with are really, really slim most of the time - EXCEPT with campfire-roasted fish. Because you need the fish to be in your inventory (unless you're camping on your home lot for some reason). The campfire dates back to Outdoor Retreat, the very first Sims 4 DLC, so it's no wonder it's so simplistic.

But it is a problem. It's not reasonable to assume sims will sell all the fish they catch except what they plan to eat right away. Even when there was only Outdoor Retreat and base game, this made no sense - because fish were fertilizer for gardens. As far as I know, they've always had that ability (but there have been lots of changes so maybe I'm wrong). Now sure, most sims don't need 92 salmon in their inventory. But salmon are such GREAT fertilizer even when they're completely rank that to sell them if you don't need money makes no sense. You can use them any time to fertilize the plants - there's no time limit.

You COULD put the fish in the fridge instead of your inventory. But two problems - one, in my play style, I have my sim with 92 salmon hop around fertilizing public gardens as well as his friends' gardens, and I want to be sure of using salmon for that - not fishing somewhere nearby and only catching a guppy. Second, and more relevant to players besides myself, is the fridge these days is SOOOO laggy. Idk but every time I click it, it takes several long seconds to bring up the first menu. And then if there's a lot inside, you have to scroll around to what you want... I avoid opening the fridge. Yes, these are just a few extra steps, not really an inconvenience... but it is SO convenient to just keep the fish in my inventory...

Well, if that's how it is, then I have no other choice. But what I would LIKE is for the campfire to be programmed to either let us choose which fish we want to roast, so we can pick good quality ones, OR default to the freshest fish in the inventory. Then you'd still have to be careful not to accidentally eat a fish you want to keep, but at least you won't get an upset stomach every time you don't eat a fish right away. Because they seem to spoil pretty fast.

Also I want more campfire food options. Tired of veggie dogs and marshmallows. What about campfire-roasted sweet potatoes?? Mmm. Or how about just being able to roast any edible in your inventory? I know, it's pointless, you can just eat it raw... I just love camping in the sims x'D though I'm probably the only one

[mayakern]

Would you ever be open to doing skirt pattern commissions? Like, I love your art, and I'd love to stick my own neck out for stuff you wouldnt sell? Or even just, we commission you for skirts that you sell yourself? I'd love to back some of that risk up with money, is basically what I'm saying

i don’t take design commissions, as i really don’t like to be limited in that way. when someone commissions a piece, they expect a particular design/subject matter to definitely see fruition, but i actually abandon the vast majority of my skirt design ideas. like for ever 1 design i complete, there were probably 3-10 other designs i left to either complete later… or never.

also in general, debuting new designs (while still anxiety inducing) isn’t something i worry too hard about in terms of risk factor. it sucks to have something like the milk skirt, where it stopped selling so we retired it, and then i kept getting ppl for YEARS begging for its return, and then i did bring it back… and it’s still in stock after a couple weeks when everything else sold out in 1-2 days. but for the most part this isn’t an issue for us. the milk skirt is just cursed, i guess. it’s literally the only design that hasn’t sold out within a week in the past 2.5 years.

the only exception i’d consider to this would be commissions for a new color variant of an already existing design.

but honestly, this sort of risk/uncertainty is why preorders exist. the manufacturing orders we place for preorders are 2-3x more product (and therefor 2-3x more expensive) than our RTS orders. we could definitely make more RTS sales if we placed bigger orders, but the manufacturing fee would be so high it would be difficult to afford it without preorders (and it takes roughly 3-4 months for skirts to be made and shipped to us, so that’s 3-4 months of not seeing the return on the manu cost)

[meistwentyinchheels]

hold me tight

; xiao x gn!adeptus!reader

; fluff

; warnings: possibly ooc and grammatical errors, otherwise none

; form: imagine

; word count: 0.9k

; published: 04.04.21

; author’s note: my initial idea was to write more angst, but then scratched that idea lmao i felt like zhongli would lowkey act like a wingman with the two hehe this was kinda fun to write too!

Xiao stood on the balcony of the Wangshu Inn, waiting for you to finish your duties for the day. You were one of Liyue’s adepti, tasked with exterminating any that threaten Liyue’s peace and safety. The sun was already starting to set, causing Xiao to slightly scoff, “They’re taking longer than usual again?”. He sighed and was about to set out to look for you but stopped as soon as he turned around. You stood by the entrance to the balcony, Almond Tofu in hand. “Sorry it took me so long, I wanted to make you some Almond Tofu so I asked Smiley Yanxiao to lend me the kitchen for a bit” you explained. “And I may have set the kitchen on fire as a result, BUT DON’T WORRY the Almond Tofu I have in my hands is perfectly edible!” you exclaimed and handed the food to Xiao.

“You shouldn’t have put that much effort into making me out of everyone some food” Xiao said, disapproving of your actions. You nearly missed the slight smile that appeared on his face. “Was that a smile just now?” you asked with a smug smile on your face. “No.” he answered bluntly and acted like he did absolutely nothing. “Oh well, just enjoy the Almond Tofu I made for you, yeah?” you said and put an arm around Xiao, despite the afore mentioned man attempting to remove your hand. You, however, didn’t relent causing Xiao to just sigh and give up. You dragged Xiao with you onto the balcony floor and just watched the sunset as Xiao ate his Almond Tofu.

Despite having worked together for thousands of years, he never truly opened up to you, always dismissing your concerns for him whenever he was injured. Hell, he never even let you into his heart. Or so you thought. Every time you made an attempt to get to know Xiao on a personal level and wished to help him his heart did backflips each time. He initially didn’t know what that meant and he sought out Zhongli when it continued. “Xiao, you’re in love with them”, Zhongli said to Xiao while smiling. “I’m what?” Xiao mumbled perplexed, “How can I be in love?”. Zhongli took a sip out of his tea and explained, “You mentioned feeling weird around them and your heartbeat speeding up, correct? Those are some of the signs of falling in love”.

Xiao slightly blushed remembering that memory and just continued eating his Almond Tofu while avoiding your eyes. You noticed how Xiao’s cheeks got slightly red and grew confused as to why he was blushing but pushed those thoughts to the back of your head. The silence between the two of you was a peaceful one with both sides harboring some type of feelings for each other. “You spoke with Zhongli today didn’t you?” Xiao asked, breaking the silence. “Yeah, I hadn’t seen him in a while so I just decided to have some tea with him this morning” you spoke with a smile on your face, “He may ramble on about a lot of things, but he does give off such a peaceful aura that you just can’t help but listen to him speak”. Xiao finally looked at you and saw your smile as you rambled on about what you did that day.

Xiao wasn’t exactly fond of you until around a thousand years ago when you fended off a horde of demons all by yourself. After that encounter, you started seeking him out more often causing the, usually, stoic and composed man to grow to have a soft spot for you. As years passed that developed into love, but he never knew how you truly felt about him. Did you seek him out purely because he looked lonely? Or was there some kind of other ulterior motive? He had no clue, but he was glad you were there with him. While Xiao was thinking about his feelings, you had noticed his facial features had softened and you slightly smiled at him. You’d never tell him, but you’ve been utterly in love with the Conqueror of Demons for millennia. Even Zhongli commented on it earlier that morning when you had spoken to him.

“This may come as a surprise to you, but..” you spoke, catching the Yaksha’s attention. “You mean a lot to me. I know you may not think of me that fondly, but I just wanted to let you know I care. And that your presence brings me a sense of security” you mumbled so softly that Xiao nearly didn’t hear what you said. He placed his plate of Almond Tofu onto the floor and looked at you with a gaze so soft that you thought you were hallucinating. “Uh, Xiao? Are you alright? Did I weird you out?” you awkwardly laughed, praying to the Archons that you didn’t make him uncomfortable. “No, I’m alright. I just..feel relieved that you feel that kind of comfort around me,” Xiao said while looking into your eyes with a soft gaze.

You slightly smiled and shifted so you were sitting right next to Xiao. Moments after you shifted closer to him, Xiao wrapped his arms around you, catching you off-guard. “Just let me hold you like this for a while,” Xiao said softly causing you to smile and hug him back. Unbeknownst to the two of you, Zhongli had arrived at the Wangshu Inn balcony to speak to Xiao about something when he noticed the two of you holding each other. The former archon softly smiled to himself as he turned back around to leave the two of you be. “Glad to know the two have realized that they have been pining for each other for years now,” he spoke while walking back down the stairs.

© meistwentyinchheels; written by meistwentyinchheels - do not edit or repost

[salemorbit]

I’m very joyful and almost die of happiness for tigo au you make, if tigo au make you happy I’m gonna make some tigo au until the calamity started. If you ok with this

Tigo loved give s/o a ride and go places to visit. What would the rito village, goron city reaction to tigo. More stories for gerudo village and zora domain peoples for tigo

yeah sure go for it! tigo is totally anyone's game for an au haha

also sorry this took a little to write uhh i've had midterm projects i needed to start bc i put them off for so long 💀

MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~

Little Lynel Man (part 4)

[Tigo the Lynel AU]

warnings: none :)

~~~~~~~~

One of your and Link's favorite pastimes was just hanging out with Tigo and riding around Hyrule with time you could spare

Since Tigo and Daruk got along so well, you often went to visit Goron City and hung out around Death Mountain (without getting burnt to a crisp, of course)

Much like Daruk, the Gorons absolutely loved Tigo and his fighting spirit! They got along so well

Tigo actually developed quite the taste for the rock roasts that the Gorons are famous for. You didn't know how he (or Link) could stand the things since they were barley edible

But hey! Exposes him to the culture :)

Tigo often challenged the Gorons to wrestling matches and he mainly won which is pretty impressive, not gonna lie

Link and Tigo are really good matched up together in fights, so they're practically unstoppable

Your specific favorite place was Rito Village, but Tigo was always apprehensive about bridges and heights so he tended to steer away from Rito Village

This didn't mean that the Rito didn't take interest in a domesticated Lynel, though

The Rito are typically quiet and reserved bird of pride, and they really don't like a bumbling Lynel around their territory

But Tigo tried his best to be composed and graceful so that the Rito didn't think he was an elephant in a china dish shop, if you know what i'm saying

Many of the Rito fledglings loved to braid his mane, though, and they would love to have rides given to them by Tigo himself if their parents allowed

that's really cute oh my

You, Tigo, and Link hated the Gerudo Dester and its blistering heat, and you would often find yourselves staying at the oasis if you ever wanted to travel or had business in the Gerudo Desert

Urbosa always said that all of you were welcome in Gerudo Town any time, but that didn't stop the actual Gerudo women from being hesitant when a giant Lynel traipsed through their city walls

Tigo had a special affinity for all the shops and the jewels that glittered in the harsh sun of Gerudo Town

There was always a bit of quiet chatter when Tigo came into the scene, and it made you a little nervous that he would think less of himself because of the predjudice against Lynels

Link would ask Urbosa if she could somehow appeal to her people to make Tigo's visits less gossip-ridden, and she would try her very best

But! Tigo was happily aloof to it all and tried to make friends with the Gerudo women who often shied away from him

He really tried, don't get me wrong, but I think that Urbosa would really be the only one who would come to be 100% okay with it

The Gerudo just have a distinct sense of pride in their town, and they also have no clue what Lynels are capable of since, as we know, Lynel's aren't native to the Desert

Making your rounds through Hyrule Kingdom, Tigo especially loved Faron and the coast of Hyrule

He really loved hanging around Lurelin Village and spending time on the beach, just relaxing and taking time off from the duties of being a Champion alongside the others

You and Link would camp there for the day and just spend it in the sun or fishing or gathering new fruits for cooking

It was really therapeutic to be totally honest like all of you need that after such rigorous royal training

The Zora always love when Tigo visits, so it's never a problem when you three wander into their territory

Mipha would check up on Tigo's spear skills and healing knowledge while you visit, but she would totally have to work around Sidon always wanting Tigo's attention all the time

Sidon would always give Tigo shiny rocks and shells that he found whenever Tigo would visit, and Tigo would nuzzle him gratefully with every gift!

You just love their little dynamic

The Zora are forever grateful for Tigo for helping them with their wild Lynel problem, so any time Tigo makes an appearance a feast is definitely in order

Link never got tired of that part LMAO

Just an all around celebration with good friends and good food!

~~~~~~~

kinda sorta ran out of ideas near the end 😅 hope you like it!

[selinakidreams]

year six at hogsmeade

ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! This fic is for the @haikyuucreationsadm​ secret santa event! dedicated to @ichorizaki ! sol, I hope this gives you the warm fuzzies! 

genre: fluff

warnings: none!

tags: harry potter au!, gn! reader, friends to lovers, yams is a lil over protective, fake dating (if you squint really really hard), yamaguchi’s pov !

a/n: no i do not hate the character i put as the slytherin (i’m not gonna spoil anything <3 teehee) i did it almost as an easter egg ...? like if you remember how yams reacted when he heard a certian thing come from his mouth,,,,,,, you’ll understand why- the clip was playing in my head on repeat while writing it lmao (super vauge ik but ah ha haa)

Both of your school capes sashae across the cold stoned floor as you two head to the one class you had together. The air was nippy; delicate flakes of snow danced around the sky until they landed on the ground.  Yamaguchi hugged his books closer to his chest in hopes to ease the lack of warmth. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you nuzzle into your silver and green scarf that was already bundled up to your nose. 

‘Cute,’ he thought to himself- and when it comes to you, that word comes up in his head quite a lot.

 Far from being his favorite class, Yamaguchi Tadashi had to get used to the defense against the dark arts course. It was very… out there for him in the beginning. By pushing his limits, it created a wave of self-consciousness that would wash over him, resulting in the feeling of incompetence. Thankfully you were there to encourage and support him, just as you had been since the day you guys met. It was something about your strength and determination- he learned that through the years when you had an idea, a goal, or a project in mind, you would see it through. It was so inspiring to young Yamaguchi, the little boy constantly cowering away from anything that seemed too much. He would constantly be picked on and could never speak the words that clogged his throat but then you came along with a single snarky remark to end all of theirs. There was no time between the moment he words left your lips and when your hand slipped into his- pulling him away from any sense of loneliness he would ever feel again. You were there for all the big moments, from when he first got his letter to him getting sorted into Gryffindor to him trying out for their quidditch team. You two had been absolutely inseparable and neither of you would change a thing.

Yamaguchi cherished walking to class with you- the way you fit so well in the environment… he just couldn't take his eyes off of you. His favorite version of you was in the winter because you just looked so much cozier. The dark colors of your house heavily contrasted against the bright sparkling snow that reflected natural light into the corridor. The pink that tinted the tips of your ears made his heart skip a beat. If it hadn't been for you stopping by the opened door way, he would have completely missed the entrance to the classroom because of his… observations. He motioned you go in first, your eyes crinkled in thanks as you stepped inside and he swears that you caused a heart palpitation. 

It was your guy’s sixth year at Hogwarts and by far Tadashi's favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts course yet. The teacher, Remus Lupin, had such a way of teaching that it was not only fun and interactive, but also incredibly informative- the prime way for him to learn. He was so happy that Lupin’s tactics were sticking, this meant he didn't have to cling to you for help as he had previously; He was able to show you that he was capable of being strong on his own. Whenever you showed your delight at Tadashi’s progress, he only wanted to work harder.

“Hey so… after class, did you want to go to Hogsmeade and get something to drink from Honeyduke’s? It’s all snowy out and it’s the perfect weather for something warm and comforting.” You grinned as the both of you took your seats, conveniently across from each other, the only thing that separated you two was a slim isle way. Yamaguchi turned to you with a small smile curving his lips, “Yea, sounds good but just remember I have practice later so I can't be out too la-“ his last word was cut off by an obnoxious scoff from the keeper from the Slytherin quidditch team. 

“That was supposed to be our practice, you know. Daichi snatched up our usual practice time.” Koganegawa Kanji said snottily, judgmentally eyeing Tadashi up and down before turning his gaze to you. Suddenly there was a different type of look in his eyes, a bright one that showed that he believed he could secure all sorts of things… including you. “Those Gryffindors think they can take whatever they want, but I know what we're going to be taking. The win at our next game… which just so happens to be against Gryffindor. You’re going to be there, right y/n?” He practically beamed to you as he kept side-eyeing Yamaguchi. 

Before you could even answer- before he could even realize what was coming out of his mouth- your shy, kind hearted, wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly Tadashi rolled his eyes and said, “Yea they’re going, they’re going to be screaming out my name when I catch that snitch.” 

Your eyes widened as you turned to him with your jaw slack, the sexual innuendo in the forefront of your mind but when facing your freckled best friend, it looked like he couldn't believe he was able to even speak up. Yamaguchi is not one for confrontation or someone who initiates fights… but when things come down to you, he acts in ways he doesn’t recognize- for painfully obvious reasons.

“You better watch that mouth of yours, Yamaguchi, or else i might just have to zip it up.” The Slytherin hissed, getting ready to reach for his want but stopped in his tracks when his gaze caught sight of a scruffy man in his mid 30’s standing behind the frozen Gryffindor, hands in his pockets and a brow raised. 

“Now… I know you were not about to hex mister Yamaguchi inside of my class, right Mister Koganegawa?” Professor Lupin tempted, a small smirk danced on his lips with the unmissable glint of entertainment that twinkled in his warm eyes. 

The professor didn’t give the boy a chance to answer, instead turned around and headed to the front of the classroom while saying, “Return to your seat Koganegawa, I expect whatever hex you were going to cast was going to be a naughty one. Well ironically, today’s lesson is focused on learning to reflect those nasty curses…” The whole class settled in for the lecture as Tadashi sneaked a peak at the reaction that had been plastered on your face- boy, was it a cute one. Both of your lips curled in with saucer eyes, cheeks tinted a faint red, as if you were holding back a laugh that was forcing its way out. 

<♥︎>

After Lupin bid the class adue for the day, everyone went their separate ways; Tadashi held you close as you both headed to Hogsmeade, his arm draped over your shoulder as you leaned into him for warmth. The walk had been a comfortable silence until you spoke out your curiosity to break the ice, hitting him with the million dollar question.

“Hey, what happened back in Lupin’s class? That was.. odd.. of you to say.” You inquired. Normally when you catch Tadashi off guard or in a vulnerable state, a cute blush dusts along the apple of his cheeks and the tips of his ears. You knew you were robbed of the sight, the cold had beat you to it, a violent scarlet already bared his skin. 

He let out a sigh, the breath showing itself in the cold, before he muttered, “I’m just tired of him openly ogling at you like you’re some toy. It’s not cool.” 

You responded with a slight hum, the real reply bouncing off the walls of your brain: I can't believe we’re not together by now.

“Oh yams,” you chuckle as you huddle closer into his side.

<♥︎>

Passing under the grand Hogsmeade archway, he was grateful that there were barely any students about- this meant you guys could get your drinks faster and walk around the shops easier. With the antique green and pink building in sight, the beeline to the shop’s entrance was determined.

“Okay okay, let me guess…” you started as Yamaguchi held open the door for you to walk in, already eyeing the colorful treats that decorated the room, “you want a hot chocolate.” 

“And you want a hot strawberry tea.” Tadashi retorted with a smile.

“It’s almost like… we’ve known each other for years.” You say, your tone dripping in sarcasm as he watches your finger trace over the newest candy they sold. 

Sol, a sweet that’ll brighten your day! The container said, with a picture of what looked to be an edible ball of light. Supposedly, once it hits your tongue, it melts into the flavor you're craving most.

After inspecting the shelves around the store for any new and exciting treats, you both headed to the register where Tadashi placed the drinks order and fished out two golden galeons and five silver sickles. He snuck a glance at you admiring the brightly colored walls to make sure you weren't looking as he slipped the cashier the two packets of sol he stealthily grabbed and handed them three extra sickles. A sweet surprise for later.

Leaving the store, Yamaguchi watched the way your hands slipped around the warm cup, the tips of your fingers slightly intertwined. He wanted nothing more than to take your cup out of your hands and intermingle his fingers with yours…but he couldn’t, it would be crossing a line, wouldn’t it? Nevertheless, the image of holding your- probably- freezing hand was on his mind the whole time you two were walking around the village you knew all too well.

Deciding that it was pretty late you guys began to head back to the castle. The snow crunched underneath your boots with almost empty cups in your hands, you knew it wasn't going to take long before you’d be greeted by the back entrance of the castle. “‘Dashi… do you have to go to practice? I… i need help with Lupin’s coursework.” you stutter out, causing Yamaguchi to pause and turn toward you.

This took him by surprise, normally you were really good with your coursework, so for the roles to switch… something had to be off.  

“ y/n... You know I can't. The team said they really need me there.  Daichi would have my head if I missed practice. The game against Slytherin is so close and I really need to-” he cut himself off before he could reveal too much or get too annoyed, the flash of Koganegawa smirking flashed in the back of his mind. 

“you need to… what? I saw your last game and the way you soared through the air was incredible, it didn't seem like you needed to work on anything!” you pouted with damn wide eyes.

Tadashi tried to ignore the slight increase in his heart's beating pace, “aha well..” he said as he lifted his arm to scratch the back of his head, “we’re a team and they need me as much as i need them!” you stopped walking so he turned to face you.

He watched the small sad smile creep onto your face before hearing you mutter, “Jeez, when did my Tadashi become so popular?”

For Yamaguchi to not lean in and plant a kiss on your lips, something had to be holding him back... but there was nothing- if anything, you seemed to slightly lean in. 

He figured that you'd assume that the first move was going to be on your part, as it normally was when something serious would happen between the two of you but he wanted to prove to you that he's changed. He's not scared anymore. He has no reason to be. He’s learned so much about himself  throughout the years because of you. You're the reason he was the social person he was today. And he was the one that finally connects your lips with his. 

Due to the cold and dry winter, both lips are not as smooth as wanted but it doesn't stop him from deepening the long awaited kiss. He placed his open palms on your waist and his fingers gave you a small squeeze when he heard you sigh into the kiss.

When Yamaguchi felt your arms around his neck, he swore the world stopped turning for a second. The warmth that he was feeling was unmatched- this was warmer than any other winter coat had made him. 

When he pulled away, your arms stayed around his neck and he refused to let his hands leave your waist. 

“I uh-“ at this point Yamaguchi’s face was bright pink, yours being no different, “um I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” You said, cutting him off. 

Tadashi had to blink a few times, as if he was clearing his vision because what he just heard wasn’t possible. 

“N-no way…” he mumbled, looking at the ground next to you. Tadashi almost felt overwhelmed but one thing's for certain, the weight of needing to properly confess was only getting heavier so he gulped down his anxiety- as you had taught him so many times before- and brought his eyes to meet yours. 

“Y/n… I’m so in love with you. I have been for so long-”

Something red wizzed before your guys’ eyes, cutting off his huge confession. His eyes became wide at the hovering letter facing him. 

A howler. 

Before you could even raise an eyebrow, the letter opened itself in the shape of an origami mouth. 

“Yamaguchi, YOU ARE LATE FOR PRACTICE! WHY? WHAT COULD BE SO IMPORTANT THAT IT’S CAUSING YOU TO MISS PRACTICE?” the letter with daichi’s deep voice boomed around the empty of the woods. It began to look around, as if it could see the surrounding area- which was weird because typically howlers were only used to relay a (very loud and disappointed) message. When the envelope eventually faced you, the bottom of the mouth dropped and seemed to gulp.

“Ah.. i see.. Hi y/n… um,” the letter turned to face Yamaguchi before reminding him to go to practice and ripping itself apart. 

It was silent for a second, neither of you knew what to say. 

“I dunno but it almost sounded like Daichi wanted me to go to practice.” was the first thing he said. He watched your face contort from a small smile to a full out grin joined with a hearty laugh. 

“Let's get you to class ‘Dashi.” you said as you wound down from your laughing fit. Holding out your hand, the expression you gave him was one that he never saw from you before. The corner of his eyes crinkled with how genuine he was smiling as he took your hand, finally getting to entwine your fingers together as you guys headed to the quidditch field.

Ps. yes you did scream out his name when he caught the snitch- it didn't go unnoticed...

[kiara-carrera]

11 + leah, jj & one of the other pogues for the prompt ask?

11: person a walks into person b’s room one morning to ask a question. meanwhile, person c is hiding under the covers

it's the way that, in terms of stuff that honestly would happen to them, this is the most accurate thing ever i'm cackling 

also i’m terrible with writing so we’re not gonna talk about how long this took me lmao, but just picture the spongebob narrator guy going one week later

The group had the rule for a reason.

It was a logical rule, simple even. No pogue on pogue macking. They were a tight knit group of friends and everyone knew how relationships could have a tendency to fizzle out. Dating amongst friends was a dangerous game, especially if it led to all out fights, bitter resentment, and the rest of the group being forced to choose sides.

And so, the group had the rule for a reason.

JJ hated rules with a burning passion. And ever since they were kids, Leah had always played his willing accomplice. So when it came down to this ... yeah, it wasn’t really surprising that they were the ones to break the rule first.

Or at least, it wouldn’t be surprising if anyone else in the group actually knew. 

They had been sneaking around for a little bit now, maybe just over a month, somehow slipping under the radar of all of their friends. Leah was shocked none of them had noticed, really. Well, maybe not John B. Pulling a fast one over on him was as easy as breathing sometimes. But Kie and Pope were fairly observant, but somehow Leah and JJ macking behind everyone’s back had slipped past them.

Some days were harder than others. Today was not one of those days. Technically, they were supposed to have gone for an early morning surf, when the beach was yet to be filled with tourists and they’d be able to go without their friends wanting to tag along. Kie and Pope both had work and John B had supposedly spent the night at Malibu Barbie’s dream house, so he was likely to be gone for a while. So Leah had shown up to the Chateau, where JJ had been staying the past week or so, bright and early, ready to go ...

... And somehow had ended up lounging the morning away in bed with JJ, who couldn’t possibly be bothered to get up, apparently.

“The waves were supposed to be good today,” she mumbled for the third time that hour, tucked into JJ’s side, legs tangled with his. 

Despite her whining, she was comfortable to say the least. She’d changed out of her shorts and shirt, slipping one of his own shirts over her bathing suit the moment he declared he was far too tired to go anywhere. At least his chest made a decent pillow.

“Like you would have caught one anyways,” he joked, eyes closed peacefully.

Her mouth opened in shock before she pursed her lips, giving his side a pinch.

One blue eye popped open, an eyebrow raised in surprise. “Did you just pinch me?”

She glared at him, pouting like a petulant child. “I would have caught a ton of waves.”

JJ snorted. “Sure, sure.”

“Ass,” she muttered, giving his side another pinch.

“Okay, that’s it.” With a speed that was a little too quick for someone who claimed to be super worn out, he rolled on top of her. Leah let out a shriek, eyes wide as he grinned down at her. He chuckled at her expression. “Is that really how you want to play this, baby?”

“I have no idea what you mean, I’ve been perfectly reasonable,” Leah said. She waited a moment before reaching up and giving him another flick, right in the center of his forehead. “Get off.”

His mouth popped open in shock, a look of over-exaggerated disbelief spreading across his features. He jokingly narrowed his eyes at her before declaring, “Oh, you asked for it.”

Before she could even ask what he meant, he was leaning back over her, fingers tickling her sides. Leah let out a shriek, squirming under him again as she tried to get away. But JJ was ruthless in his assault, a smug smirk on his face as he soaked in her laughter which only seemed to spur him on further.

The two of them were so caught up in the moment that neither of them bothered to notice the sound of a familiar Volkswagen van pulling up the dirt path to the Chateau. Instead, giggles continued to peal out of Leah’s lips, her torso twisting as JJ ignored her pleas for a truce.

They did however hear the porch door creak open loudly, a booming voice cutting through the little world they were in.

“Yo, JJ!”

Leah’s eyes widened, freezing in place, all laughter dying on her lips. JJ’s hands stilled as well, no longer assaulting her sides with tickles. “Is that ... ?”

“Shit.”

Within seconds, the two of them were scrambling as John B continued to call out for the friend he was certain would be somewhere in the house.

“I thought he was supposed to be out all day!” Leah whispered frantically, slipping out from under JJ to look for her clothes. Where the hell were her shorts?

John B was oblivious, but the two of them half dressed in bed together? Yeah, that wasn’t going to be so easy to work around. She could already picture the texts that would be shot off the group chat. Or the earful she was going to get from everyone over breaking the rule and for JJ of all people.

JJ shrugged, looking equally as panicked. “He stayed over Sarah’s house, I figured they’d be macking for hours!”

“I know this is his house and everything,” Leah grumbled, half hanging off the bed to try and find the seemingly nonexistent shorts, “But can’t he leave? Like there’s central air and edible food at Sarah’s, fucking stay there.”

“Not to mention all the — ”

Leah didn’t even have time to cut off whatever gross comment he was about to make because he did it himself. It was like he had a sixth sense for the door to the spare room being opened because suddenly she was being yanked back into the bed, the old quilt being pulled over her head without preamble.

Before she could even ask what the fuck was happening, she froze under the blanket at the sound of John B’s voice.

“JJ, what the hell, didn’t you hear me yelling for you?”

Beside her, JJ tried to play at innocence. “What?”

“I called your name like three times, I was wondering if you wanted to ... ” He trailed off. JJ was trying to look as not guilty of macking their best friend since the third fucking grade as he could as John B squinted, finally noticing the oddly shaped lump next to JJ. “Uh ... dude, is there a girl under there?”

JJ didn’t respond, but Leah didn’t have to have Pope’s brains to know he gave his best friend a shrug, more than likely coupled with a smug grin.

“Oh gross, man,” John B grumbled, taking a quick step out of the room and shutting the door. “It’s like 10 am, isn’t it a little too early for a booty call?”

JJ scoffed. “Yeah, because you staying with the princess of all Kooks last night was any different,” he called through the door.

John B must have been speed walking out of the Chateau because his responding fuck you was rather distant. Leah waited until John B’s footsteps faded down the hall, before pinching JJ’s leg.

“Ow! Jesus, woman,” JJ whined, rubbing the spot while she slipped out from under the covers.

She fixed him with an unimpressed look. “You’re an idiot.”

[to-fangirl-or-not-to-fangirl]

Hello! I really enjoy reading your Levihan stories! Could I make a request for an artist AU? Where Hange is obsessed with acrylic pour painting and ropes Levi into helping her create a new masterpiece? Thank you!

I’m so so so sorry it took me an eternity to get to this!! I thought now would be a good time to write it, since I think we could all use some soft Levihan right about now.

I’m sorry for any typos or mistakes—I had to look up what pour painting is because I’m entirely uneducated in the world of art, and on top of that I wrote this through tears.

Honestly, I could create a whole new post on how I’m feeling about the current situation, but I doubt anyone cares what I have to say about it lmao. Anyway, I hope this managed to bring a smile to your face, in the midst of the heartbreak sweeping through the fandom.

Four-Eyes: Leviiiii

Four-Eyes: Leviiiiiiiiiiiii

Four-Eyes: It's almost noon! Don't tell me you're still asleep

Clean Freak: Well I was

Clean Freak: What do you want

Four-Eyes: I'm almost back to the dorm, get the door for me?

Levi scowled at his phone, but climbed out of bed anyway. The suite they shared with a few of their friends was still, silent. Levi was threatened to leave the front door locked, for he was certain Hange would disrupt the peaceful quiet as soon as she returned.

Sure enough, Levi had barely poured a cup of coffee when the door rattled on its hinges, the force of Hange's pounding echoing through the dorms.

Levi pulled the door open. "You're gonna wake the whole building."

"No one's even asleep anymore," Hange insisted.

"Thanks to you!" Nanaba said angrily, crossing the hallway to the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her, and Hange grinned sheepishly.

"Oops."

Levi looked down at the mess around Hange. "What . . . is all this?"

"An assignment that's due tomorrow," she said, thrusting a grocery bag toward Levi. "Take that to my room, would you, please?"

Levi grumbled his complaints, but obliged in taking Hange's groceries to her room. He swung the door open, stopping in his tracks.

"Holy canvas."

With all of Hange's furniture pushed against the walls, the floor was occupied by the biggest canvas Levi had ever seen. The rest of the floor was covered in plastic coverings. Levi wasn't sure he wanted to know what was going on.

"What, exactly, is your assignment?" Levi asked as Hange appeared at his side.

"You know that art critic who gave me his business card at that last exhibition?"

"Yeah."

Hange grinned, blowing a stray hair out of her face. "He asked me to make a painting for him! If he likes it, he's going to recommend me to this artist guy who—" She realized Levi was gazing at her blankly. "You know what? It doesn't matter. All you need to know is that this could be my big break."

Levi nodded. "Well, I hope you know what you're doing."

"Of course I do!"

Hange brushed past him with several cans of paint. She set them on her bed and turned to Levi.

"I don't suppose you want to help?"

Levi peeked inside the bag in his arms. "With what?"

Hange motioned to the canvas. "Pour painting! A big one."

Levi had never attempted a pour painting before—he was more of a sketch artist, after all—but Hange was positively beaming, eyes sparkling behind her glasses. Levi couldn't just say no.

He handed her the grocery bag. "Coffee first."

***

Hange thrust a small can into Levi's hands. Levi gazed into the deep blue paint within.

"What do I do with it?" he asked.

Hange motioned to the canvas. "You pour it!"

Levi stared at the canvas, then tipped the can over it. Hange hesitated, and Levi withdrew the can. "Is that not right?"

"No, no, it was—" Hange smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, no. But right idea!"

She picked up a can of red paint and drizzled it over the canvas. Levi took the can of paint in his hands and followed her lead, spreading the paint along the canvas. He watched as the paint trickled off the edge of the canvas, pooling on the ground.

"This is going to be messy, isn't it?" he asked.

"That's what the plastic is for," Hange agreed.

Levi sighed. "I'm not helping you clean this up."

Hange tipped her head to the side, placing a hand on her hip. "Yeah, you will."

Levi turned away. "Only because I know you won't do it right."

After pouring out four cans of colored paint, Hange turned to Levi with a wild look in her eyes.

"Now, for the fun part. Grab that end."

As Hange took one end of the large canvas, Levi grabbed the other. He followed her lead, lifting it off the ground. Hange tipped it gently to her left, and Levi followed, watching all the paint shift in that direction. Just as quickly, Hange turned it toward the right, and the paint followed toward that end. She continued to shift it from side to side, up and down, until the entire surface was coated with a swirl of blue, red, green, and silver.

"It does look pretty cool," Levi admitted. He eyed his hands, which were covered in dried paint. "Even if it did make a complete mess."

Hange smiled, sliding her glasses up onto her head, leaving a trail of paint on her face. "And we're not done yet!"

Levi deflated. "We're not?"

Hange laughed. "You think I'm gonna win anyone over with this? No, no, there's one final step."

***

Hange pulled her hands off the canvas, grinning at the resulting white handprints.

"See? Isn't it cool?"

Levi frowned. "I mean . . . kind of gives off kindergarten vibes."

Hange sat back on her legs, looking up at him. "Are you going to help or not?"

Levi knelt by the other side of the canvas, and dipped his hands into the bucket of white paint.

The two were silent as they left their prints on the canvas. They worked in a spiral, starting at the outer edge and working their way in. Hange, laser-focused on her masterpiece, hadn't noticed how far in she'd gotten until she bumped into Levi's hand with her own. They both froze, staring at their connected hand prints—her thumb over his, their fingertips pressed together.

"That was . . . entirely unintentional," he said, staring at the accidental heart they'd created.

Hange tipped her head to look at him. Unable to resist the temptation, she raised her hand, tracing a finger down his cheek. He looked up in surprise.

"Sorry," she said, though she didn't mean it.

Levi silently raised his hand, pressing it over her face. Hange laughed.

"It's gonna look like you hit me!"

"Take it as an excuse to shower," he retorted.

Hange reached up, ruffling his hair. "Only if you join me."

He smacked her hands away. "You'd better hope this stuff is easy to wash out." He stood up, walking over to the bed to grab a towel. Hange followed.

"What'll you do if it's not?" she asked.

Levi picked up a discarded pallette knife and flicked the red paint at her. Hange gasped.

"You wanna go, Ackerman? 'Cause I'll go!"

She scooped up a handful of blue paint, tipping it over his head.

"I can play dirty," he said, fighting a smile.

Hange yelped, dodging as he threw a glob of paint at her. It landed on the plastic wrapping harmlessly. Hange dipped her fingers in the paint that had trickled off the canvas, flicking it in Levi's direction.

They lost their collective sense of maturity as they chased each other around Hange's small bedroom, throwing paint at each other. Hange hated to think how much effort would go into cleaning the room afterward, but it would be worth it for the small time she got to spend with a laughing Levi.

Hange slipped on the plastic, landing by her canvas. "Wait!" she cried, and the battle ceased. "The painting. . . ."

Hange's masterpiece had been forgotten, and consequently hadn't escaped the paint war unscathed. Their handprints were scarred with red, blue, and green. Hange supposed it wasn't the end of the world—they'd only used colors already in the painting. Still, she'd wanted it to be perfect.

"Hange, I'm . . ." Levi looked down at her, looking like a kicked puppy. "I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about that."

Hange stood up, looking down at the painting. "You know what? I like it. At least it's authentic."

Levi crossed his arms. "I hope your art critic guy thinks so."

Hange smiled at him. "Who cares about him? We had fun making it. That's all that matters."

Levi looked up at her. "You sure?"

Hange slung her arm over his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Levi reached up, wiping some of the paint off her cheek with his sleeve. Hange's heart fluttered at the small act. She leaned down, kissing him quickly. His face screwed up as he wiped his mouth.

"Gross," he muttered. "I hope this stuff is edible."

Hange laughed, taking his hand. "Come on. How about that shower?"

[dem-obscure-imagines]

The Time-Traveler’s Daughter

Prince Zuko x Reader Summary: You are where history and prophecy collide, the daughter of a time traveler and a witch, and this has done nothing but cause problems...But maybe getting stuck in another dimension isn’t the worst thing to happen to you. Note: I will probably use this reader again. I don’t know, I just really like this concept. Warnings: None? I’m a hoe for Zuko as usual lmao. (I went way overboard. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is the longest one-shot I’ve ever written for this blog) Word Count: 6k

Being the child of a dimension-hopping time traveler and a witch who knew better had given you quite possibly the strangest childhood you could have ever asked for. Your father’s friends from all over history and the universe were always popping in for a visit, and your mother’s ancestry granted you an education at a magical boarding school.

It was the summer just after your graduation, and so each of your parents had decided to give you a gift. Your mother’s gift was her own coming of age necklace, a powerful amulet that had been passed down from woman to woman, all the way down her side of the family. Your father, as always, had invented something of his own for you, a watch.

This was no ordinary watch, however. The large steel device allowed the wearer to time travel or travel through dimensions as they pleased. It harnessed the same technology his metal glove did. Your mother was a bit on the fence about this gift, but your father insisted that it was time for you to explore and have your own adventures. After all, if he hadn’t gone out to explore the universe, he would have never met your mother.

So, she relented and let you try it out. That was, perhaps, why you were blacked out in a dimension that wasn’t your own. Your head hurt something fierce, and by the time you started to open your eyes, there were two familiar strangers hovering over you. The first was older, his friendly features obscured by a white beard. The second was around your age, shaggy dark brown hair partially hiding his fierce amber eyes. A scar stretched across the right side of his face.

“Oh my God…” You groaned, struggling to sit up.

“I’ll get you some tea. Please be careful.” The first stranger, someone you recognized as Iroh from your years of watching Avatar as a child, told you. “You’ve been asleep for a long while.”

“You’re...Iroh and Zuko…” You mumbled, looking at each of them for a moment. Zuko’s eyes widened and he looked to his uncle for some clue about what to do. Depending on when in their timeline you’d found them, that might have not been the best thing to say. “I’m...I’m not from around here. I don’t know how I got HERE of all places…”

“I thought you were dressed a little strange.” Iroh noted, chuckling to himself. He didn’t seem bothered about your comment, nor the fact that you knew who they were while they were pretending to be simple refugees as opposed to powerful fire-benders. “I’ve never seen clothes like those before.”

In most dimensions, your gray hoodie, black t-shirt, and ripped jeans would have been more than normal. Of course you found yourself in the one where they weren’t. And then there was the matter of your watch, which upon further inspection was broken, sparking and jolting when you rushed to take it off. “Shit!”

“What’s wrong?” Zuko jolted at your sudden outburst.

“It’s broken! Oh my God, my mom’s gonna kill me! I...” You took a deep breath, trying to center yourself. “I can’t get home without it. It’s broken, so I’m...stuck here.”

“What do you mean you’re stuck here? It’s just a bracelet. I’m sure if you explained to your mom--”

“You don’t understand, Zuko. That watch is...the reason I’m here. It’s like a portal. And without it, I can’t get home.” You looked to Iroh. “I, uh...wasn’t kidding when I said I wasn’t from around here…”

“You’re from another world, then…” Iroh thought about it for a long moment, passing a warm cup of tea to you. “That is quite the pickle. Well, you’re more than welcome to stay with us until you find a way home. Zuko, find our guest something...suitable to wear. Wouldn’t want to draw attention.”

“Thank you.” You were still floored that this was your reality. Your whole childhood, you’d looked up to Iroh. His wisdom and kindness were values you’d appreciated forever. And Zuko...well, it wouldn’t be too far off to say he’d been one of your first crushes, despite the fact that he was animated. Of course, now he was in the flesh in front of you, and it was...different. You couldn’t deny the fact that the prince was handsome.

Zuko left to go to the market and get you something that wouldn’t make you stand out in Ba Sing Se. Meanwhile, Iroh asked about where you’d come from.

“My father is like me. A dimension-hopper. He made my watch as a graduation present. Where I’m from, you and Zuko...you’re fictional.”

“Fictional, you say? Very interesting…” He took a sip from his tea. “So how did you come to know about us, then, if we’re fictional in your universe?”

“Well, you two are characters in one of my favorite cartoons growing up.” You thought for a second. This world you’d found yourself in was very technologically behind the one you’d come from. “Cartoons are like...drawings that move. And they have sound. It’s...hard to explain, I’m sorry.”

“Cartoons sound incredible! It must be such an interesting world, where you’re from.”

“It is, yeah. Where I’m from, the only people with powers are witches like my mom. Like...me. I always thought benders were so cool. The idea that you can just control the elements is so cool.”

“You have magic?!” The old man’s features lit up. “Would it be out of the question to see some?”

“Of course not, um…” You thought for a moment before letting go of your tea cup and letting it float in front of you. When you did it, the amulet around your neck glowed. “I can’t do much. My staff is back home, but without it, I can do some little things. If I had it, I could just...fix my watch. Without it, though, I guess I’ll just have to figure it out.”

“Zuko could probably take you to the market tomorrow to look for parts. Someone around here must have something that could help.”

“What about me?” Zuko entered the house, closing the door behind him. He had a bundle of clothes tucked under his arm. He handed it to you. “I wasn’t sure what size you are, but I think those should fit.”

“Thank you.”

“We were just discussing the matter of (Y/N)’s broken watch.” Iroh explained, motioning to the device that was still sparking every few seconds. “She needs some parts to fix it. I wondered if maybe you could take her to the market tomorrow to get some spare parts for it.”

“Sure.” He shrugged, sitting between you and his uncle. Your heart lurched, and so, you stood up to go to the spare room and change into these new garments. Zuko had found you some naturally colored undergarments with a green dress that went over top. You used some clips to pull your hair back and folded your clothes from home before returning to where Zuko and Iroh were sitting.

The way they both stopped talking and looked up at you when you returned made it obvious what they had been talking about. Well, that, and Zuko’s interested statement, “You’re a witch, too?”

“I’m a lot of things.” You laughed, tucking your folded clothes into the corner of the room with your backpack. “Did Iroh tell you the other thing?”

“That we don’t exist? Yeah, he did.” Zuko looked uncertain as he said it.

“It’s not that you don’t exist.” You walked back to the table and sat down next to him. “My dad explained it to me when I was young like this: there are a lot of dimensions in our universe, and sometimes they leak into each other. Sure, you don’t exist in MY world, but you do exist here. If we’re being technical, most of my dad’s friends technically don’t exist where I’m from, my mother included.”

“Really?”

“Hell, I technically went to school in a whole dimension that isn’t supposed to exist.”

“Well, I guess that makes me feel a little better.” He laughed and shook his head, smiling softly. “It must be weird to...meet the villain from your favorite childhood thing.”

“You’re not the villain.” You told him with an amused chuckle.

He looked genuinely surprised. “I’m...I’m not?”

“Not even close.”

Iroh smiled to himself, going to the other room to get some sleep while you talked with his nephew.

“So...If I’m not the villain, then who is?”

“Your dad.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” He nodded. “So I’m, what, I’m some minor villain then?”

“In season one you were. Kind of. Although that’s arguable, even.” You shook your head, taking in his face in the quiet. There were crickets chirping outside. “I mean, sure, you’ve done some questionable things, but...honestly, you have one of the best redemption arcs in history.”

“Redemption arc?” He laughed. “Me? Really? Me?”

“Really. You’re a fan favorite.”

“People like me?”

“People more than ‘like’ you.” Your cheeks flushed, thinking about it. That you were sitting on the floor next to the love of your seven-year-old life.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Goodnight, Zuko.” You got up and walked to the bedroom, settling into the bedroll Iroh had set up for you.

“Night…” He watched you go, a surprised smirk settling onto his handsome features. Maybe he’d have to investigate that some more…

***

The next morning, Zuko decided to make breakfast for you and Iroh, which judging from the slight burning smell coming from the pan, you learned was not a usual thing.

“I’m really sorry. I tried.”

“Thank you, Zuko.” You laughed, eating it anyway. It wasn’t great, but it was edible, and that was really all that mattered. “It’s actually pretty alright.”

“Thanks. Just, uh, trying to get that redemption arc on a roll.”

“What’s this about a redemption arc?” Iroh asked, amused, as he drank his tea.

“Nothing, Uncle. After breakfast, I’m taking (Y/N) to the marketplace.”

And so, he did. The prince of the Fire Nation led you through the rows of stalls, and you diligently searched for any merchant that might have a little box full of gears and metal bits. Zuko watched you as you went, an unsure expression on his face. How was it that this stranger had wandered into his life and changed so much? Good, changes, sure, but changes no less.

Your face lit up as you approached the stall of an inventor. Among his wares, there was a  box filled with itty bitty gears and pieces, exactly what you were looking for.

“Sir, how much for the...box of gears?” Zuko asked, his hand on your shoulder, essentially claiming you in front of the locals.

“Oh, those? Couldn’t find a use for them, I’m afraid. My eyesight went years ago, so I don’t have the patience to deal with such small parts. If they make the girl happy, then take them. They’ll do you more good than they ever have me.”

“Thank you so much, sir. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” The kind old man handed you the box and winked at Zuko. “She’s a keeper, that one. You’ve got yourself an inventor on your hands, boy. Be careful not to lose her.”

“Believe me, sir, I will.” He smiled and the two of you turned, faces flushed, as you walked back home. “Thank you. For playing along.” He said once the market was far enough away.

“Gotta blend in somehow.” You nodded. Of course. Of course that was what had happened. The two of you were just blending in. The love of your childhood life had certainly not just claimed you as his sweetheart in front of an entire market full of people.

When you got back to the house, Iroh was reading, his cup steaming with a fresh cup of tea. You moved your watch to the table and set the box of gears down. In your backpack, you had a pair of tweezers and some goggles, so you put them on and set to work, carefully pulling out the broken pieces and searching the box for suitable replacements.

Zuko watched as you worked, amazed that someone could know how to manipulate such tiny pieces. “How did you...learn how to do that?”

“Many years of practice. My dad is kind of the best inventor ever. He taught me everything I know.”

“Mmm…” Zuko nodded. He wondered what it was like to have a loving relationship with your father. After all, he’d never really gotten that. His mother had been one of the kindest people he knew, but once she’d exited his life, he was left with Ozai, and...well, the rest was history.

“Speaking of parents...there’s a moon in this dimension, right?” You asked. “That’s a dumb question, of course there’s a moon here.”

“There is. Why?” Iroh asked.

“Well, I have to contact my mom. You know, tell her I’m alright. She was worried about this whole dimension hopping thing.”

“Ah, I see.” Iroh nodded. “Well, I’m sure we can help you if you need it.”

“Thank you. Seriously, thank you both. You’ve done so much for me.”

“Well, showing you some basic kindness is the least we can do. I can’t imagine what would have happened to you if someone else had found you.” Iroh lamented on it, humming to himself.

“Me either.”

You tinkered away for a few more minutes before finally finishing. “I think I did it.” You sat up straighter, wrapping the watch around your wrist and looking it over.

“You’re done?” Zuko asked, watching as you stood and started to gather your things. “That was...quick.” You pretended not to notice the disappointment on his face.

“Yeah, I don’t think it was as broken as I thought it was. Well...here goes. Thank you for everything. I’ll come visit if I can.”

“You’re welcome here any time.” Iroh promised.

You let your eyes linger on each of them for a second longer before adjusting the settings and pressing the button on the watch. For a few moments, it whirred the way it was supposed to. And then...everything went wrong. The metal started to get hot. Really hot. The device groaned, pieces grinding against each other. You ripped it off of your wrist and threw it out the window, just in time too, because only a moment later, you heard a loud BOOM and then a cry of “MY CABBAGES!”

“Maybe my...calculations were off.”

“Maybe.” Zuko nodded, looking out the window and then back at you. There was some little piece in him that couldn’t help but be glad you weren’t leaving just yet…

***

When dark fell, Zuko took you beyond the city walls. It was a clear night. The stars reflected off of the little pond, and inside the crystal waters was the image of the crescent moon. You walked over and knelt beside it, reaching out to skim your fingertips along the surface, letting the waters ripple out from you.

When the image cleared again, your reflection was replaced with your mother’s. She looked at you with concern.

“Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“I’m fine, mom. I just thought I’d check in, let you know where I landed. I’m in the Avatar universe. My watch broke on impact.”

“BROKE?!”

You winced at her outburst of panic. “It’s fine, though. Dad said I’d have to learn how to fix it, so why not now?”

She wasn’t listening to you, though. “That’s it, I’m sending your father to pick you up right now—”

“Mom, you don’t even have to. Seriously, it’s fine. Don’t send Dad. I need to figure this out on my own.”

She looked at you, tilting her head in that way that she did when she was deciding to be angry or proud of you. Eventually, she caved. “Fine. I’m not sending your father. But…you call me if you can’t figure it out and I’ll send him in a heartbeat. You don’t have to do everything alone, you know.”

You looked to Zuko, smiling softly when he looked at you with those sharp golden eyes. “Believe me, Mom. I’m not alone.”

You talked with her for a few more minutes before finally dismissing her aura and standing up again. Zuko stood up beside you, looking down at you, waiting for one of you to break the silence somehow.

“You’re taller than I expected you to be.” You told him.

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s weird that…you know, you knew who I was before. Maybe not weird, just…you know.”

“No, it’s definitely weird. I used to watch your cartoon every single day before school. They used to play reruns in the mornings while I was eating breakfast. My parents had to basically drag me away so I could actually catch the bus.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.” You nodded, and the two of you began the long walk back to the safety of the city walls. But not before running into a bit of trouble first.

“What have we got here? The fire prince and his little damsel in distress? I wonder how much we could get for the two of you…” A group of bandits had formed around the two of you. You looked up at Zuko, his eyes blown wide with panic before melting into the confidence he so often had. Flames tickled his palms before igniting in his hands.

You didn’t have any weapons, no watch, no swords of any kind. You were lucky, though, that the two of you were standing back to back beneath the branches of a great tree. You reached a hand up and the tree seemed to kneel under your control, one of the limbs dipping down, down, down until the wood was gripped tight in your hand. The end of the thin branch snapped off, leaves flying off as the new staff formed, twisting and bending to your will.

“What kind of bending is THAT?” One of the bandits’ very panicked voice asked.

“Oh, I’m not a bender.” You replied, fingers tightening around your staff while the tree stood itself upright again. “But you’re going to wish I was.”

And then the battle broke out. Zuko’s flames blazed any of the bandits that dared to get close to him, punching fireballs at anyone who got too close to you. Meanwhile, you were using your staff, which was nowhere near as powerful as the one you had at home, to send the bandits back with waves of sheer power. Needless to say, they hadn’t ever seen anything quite like the two of you.

A few minutes later, all that was left was a scorched field, a panting fire bender, a tired witch, and a trail of bandits making a run for the woods.

“Where did you learn to fight like that?!” Zuko turned to you excitedly.

You rested your staff against the ground and looked up at him. “My mom.”

“Figures.” He chuckled. “You’re good. And you’ll have to be if you’re going to stay with us until we get your bracelet fixed. Uncle Iroh and I…”

“I know. You’re in a bit of trouble. Maybe you need someone like me looking out for you, huh?”

“Yeah, just maybe…”

***

It didn’t take long for you to fall into a rhythm. In the mornings, Iroh would make tea while you helped teach Zuko how to cook breakfast. After that, Zuko ran the store they were using as a front with his uncle and you helped tidy up a bit. It was only at night that you tinkered with your watch some more. Well, that, or Zuko would take you out to the field to practice fighting. After all, you had a staff to break in.

Fight practice led you to be caught in some precarious positions. Only a few nights ago, you’d wound up pinned beneath him, his breath warm across your cheeks, his shaggy bangs hanging in your face. Something in you lurched, your heart doing a backflip. Never had you imagined, despite your unusual childhood, that you’d ever end up there, your wrists pinned down by rough, warm hands, breaths shallow, lips aching for his. But neither of you acted on it.

Your magic was getting stronger by the day as you became less dependent on your primary staff and learned how to use this new one. Every time you cast a spell, Zuko noticed, the amulet around your neck would glow, as would your eyes. You would meditate on sunny afternoons, and when you did, your form would hover a few feet above the ground. It was mesmerizing to watch, and he often did, only caught by you a few times, causing him to leave the room red-faced, babbling some excuse about going to find his uncle.

Zuko wasn’t sure what it was about you, but he trusted you. He supposed he had to, since you were living in their house after all. Given that he and his uncle were wanted fugitives, trust was a thing they had to be careful with. Yet, the longer you stayed, the less he wanted you to leave…and the less YOU wanted to leave.

In all of your days there, you had yet to see Aang or Katara of Sokka or any other members of the main cast. Just Zuko and Iroh. Not that you were complaining. The fire prince and his uncle were more than fine with you and they had been nothing if not welcoming.

It had been a few weeks since you’d woken up in this place. You were sitting by the window, looking out at the starry sky. Zuko walked in so quietly you didn’t hear him and he sat down beside you, watching the way your features flickered in the light of the lantern.

“Would it be awful…if I said I didn’t want you to leave?” Zuko asked quietly, his voice soft and his expression softer.

“I’d love to stay, Zuko, but…you have a destiny. One that doesn’t involve me, I’m afraid.”

“Mmm.” He nodded. “Right. You know everything that happens, then.”

“Just about.”

“And this…your visit?”

“Not part of the plan.”

“But a pleasant addition.” He amended, reaching out to rest his hand on top of yours. He was so warm, endlessly warm, a result of the flames raging inside him. How someone so broken could be so soft, you weren’t sure, but he was. You were certain you’d never met anyone with a kinder soul. “I could just…go with you.”

“They wouldn’t win the war without you.” You whispered, shaking your head. You looked away from him and instead locked your eyes on the sky. “They need you, Zuko. Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph…they all need you.”

“Please don’t leave me.” He pleaded. “Please…”

“Zuko, what am I supposed to do? If I stay here, I’m putting you in danger. I’m putting your whole WORLD in danger! You’re so important to this place. So, so important…”

“So are you!”

“No I’m not!”

“You’re important to me!” Zuko shouted. It was the first time you’d heard him raise his voice the whole time you’d been there. Sure, he’d had little spats with his uncle here and there, but never like this. There were flames flickering in the golden irises you’d come to love. His expression softened when he saw how tense you were. He reached out with a gentle hand and stroked your cheek. “You’re important to me…”

“I can’t be. I’m not supposed to be. I’m not even supposed to exist…”

“But you do. You’re here and so am I. Why can’t you just—”

“You’re supposed to end up with Mai.” You interrupted. He went quiet for a moment. You could have cut the tension with a knife. “She’s your endgame. Not me. You’re going to end up with her and forget all about me.”

“I don’t want Mai anymore.”

“What do you mean you don’t—”

“I want YOU.” Zuko leaned closer. “I don’t want Mai. I want you. Don’t you feel the same?”

“It’s not about my feelings, Zuko, it’s about your future.” You fought the tears that were welling in your eyes, blurring his face.

He was quiet for a long time, thinking. “You can leave this place. You can go home. But once we win the war, I’m going to come find you. I don’t care what it takes.”

***

You could only stall on your watch for so long without letting it be noticeable, but you knew the longer you stayed, the more it would hurt when you finally left. So, after a few tests and the aid of your growing magic, you decided you were finally ready to go back.

“You know you’re welcome here any time. We could use a witch around the house.” Iroh told you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“I know I’ll see you again. I’ll be sure to come visit sometime.”

“You better. I’ll miss you if you don’t.”

Zuko stood there quietly for a moment, waiting for his moment with you. Once Iroh had said goodbye, he left the two of you alone, and it was silent for a little while. Then, Zuko took a step closer, hesitating before reaching out to take your hand. Zuko let out a long sigh.

“You…don’t have to leave, you know. You could stay a little longer.”

“If I stay any longer, it’s just going to hurt both of us more.”

“Yeah…” He was quiet, tilting your chin up so you were looking at him, into those fierce golden eyes one last time. Zuko let his eyes drift shut as he closed the distance between you, his lips pressing against yours for the first and last time. Then, he murmured softly. “I’m going to find you after the war. I don’t know how or where, but I will. I promise.”

“I hope you do.” You whispered back, tears welling in your eyes as you kissed him one more time. And then another. And then one last kiss for the road, and then before you knew it, you were activating your watch. There was a flash of light and then you were standing in your backyard, knees trembling until you fell to the ground, finally letting your tears flow as you realized that he was gone. You’d never see Zuko again.

***

It was quiet in the house without you. Dark. Empty. Zuko missed you. He missed your glowing eyes, your fierce energy, the sight of you floating in the sunlight streaming through the window. This place was so different now. He thought he’d be ready for it, but he wasn’t. He never could have been.

“You miss her.” Iroh noted, watering one of his plants. Zuko only nodded. “So do I.”

It was then that there was a bright flash of light. The same kind that had happened when you’d left him. Zuko sat upright, preparing himself for whatever or whoever was standing there, but to his disappointment, it wasn’t you. However, the stranger standing there did resemble you a bit.

“Are you Zuko?” The man asked, looking over the fire prince. Scar, check. Shaggy dark hair, check. Forlorn look in his fiery eyes, check. This had to be the outcast prince you were so heartbroken over.

“Y-yes, sir. Who are you?”

“I’m (Y/N)’s dad.” He offered the teenager his hand, and he shook it, unsure. “She doesn’t know I’m here, before you ask, and no, I’m not here to take you to her.”

“Oh.” Zuko deflated slightly, listening for what else the dimension-hopper had to say.

“I came to give you this.” He pressed a small metal token into Zuko’s palm. “After the war, use this, and it will take you to her. You’ll know what to do.”

“But how do I—” Before Zuko could finish his question, the inventor was gone as fast as he’d come, leaving him standing there wide-eyed, gripping the disc tightly in his hand. He couldn’t lose this. It was his only chance.

***

For the summer solstice, as you had every year since you were young, you helped your mother prepare the back yard, put up tables, string up streamers, tape balloons into place. You helped her cook food and make punch and make sure everything was just right for when all of her witch friends came over to celebrate.

You were wearing your nicest summer gown. It was yellow, knee-length, and the fabric was covered in butterflies, a crown of enchanted flowers sitting in the curls of your hair. Everything was perfect. Well, everything except for one thing. You’d gotten home from the Avatar dimension about a month ago, and still, you were stuck in a post-Zuko gloom. You didn’t think it was possible to miss someone so much.

You weren’t sure why it was, exactly, that the fire prince had captured your heart. You hadn’t stayed with Zuko and his uncle for all that long. You had only kissed the one time before you left. And yet, you couldn’t help running through all of the memories: that day in the market, your first fight side by side, practicing combat with him in the field outside the city once the sun had gone down, and it was just you, the prince, and the stars. You thought of every meal you shared, every stolen glance, every flicker in the golden amber of his eyes.

There had been a time, once, when Zuko had gotten a cut on his face. Some squabble with some man in the market had resulted in the prince being on the receiving end of a knife. He’d come to you, a little blood dripping from the wound, claiming it to be nothing. The cut had been just above the top of his scar, something you knew he was sensitive about.

“Can I?” You’d asked gently, and he’d nodded, leading your hands up to the spot. Your fingers brushed against his reddened skin as you used your magic to heal him, reducing the bleeding gash to nothing more than a faint white scar.

That was the first time the two of you had been that physically close before, face to face, his lips only a step away. The next was the sparring match near the woods that had led to him pinning you down in the grass. Your heart raced, remembering how it felt to have him. And God, it still hurt.

Liking Zuko had been so much simpler when you were seven and he was a cartoon.

“It gets easier.” Your mother whispered, embracing you from behind. She kissed your cheek tenderly before letting go of you. “I know it hurts now, but it will get easier. You have a universe of possibilities at your fingertips. There’s no need to get tangled up in one boy.”

And you knew she was right. What you were, both halves of what you were, gave you quite the variety of opportunities. But it still hurt.

One flick of her wrist sent the gate at the front of the yard flying open, and minutes later, your mother’s witchiest friends started filing in, mingling with each other under the sun’s bright light. Your father was bouncing around, too, chit-chatting. Some of his friends from other dimensions had shown up, as had some of your school friends, who were dying to hear about your experiences dimension-hopping.

“So uh, have you ever…you remember that cartoon Avatar?”

“The one with the blue people?” One of your friends, Jacob, asked.

You laughed and shook your head as your friend Amber corrected him. “Avatar with the blue people wasn’t a cartoon. She means the one with the four elements and the little bald kid with the arrow on his forehead.”

“Yeah, that one.”

“What about it?” Jay asked, watching your expression. Usually when one of you brought up a childhood show, it was met with waves of nostalgia, not…whatever look you had on your face. “Oh my God, is that where you went?”

“It’s kind of a long story, but yeah.”

“Oh my God, is Sokka as handsome as I remember him being?” Amber gasped.

“Wait, wait, wait, you had a crush on SOKKA? Not Mr. Fine-Ass Firebending Prince of my Heart?” Jade held her heart like she’d just been shot. “Zuko is so hot. No pun intended.”

“And that look has to be for something…” Jacob studied your face when the topic had changed.

“No way, you met Zuko?” Amber’s expression softened.

“I…yeah, you could say that.” Before anyone could ask anything else, you grabbed Jade’s hand and dashed over to the dancefloor, pushing all of the thoughts out of your head and instead giving into the beat of the music. Time didn’t exist anymore, which was evident by just how fast the sun seemed to set, igniting the sky with orange.

Eventually, you wandered to the edge of the dancefloor, where Amber and Jade were. You could tell they were curious, and you couldn’t hide from the questions forever, so in the reds and pinks of the setting sun and the flickering lights of the candles on the tables, you decided to surrender to their inquiries.

“So…what exactly happened between you? You don’t have to answer—”

“I kissed him.”

“You AAAAAAH! Oh my God! Tell us everything!!!” Amber squealed.

“You kissed Zuko.” Jade stated, dumbstruck. “You Kissed him. With your lips.”

“Yeah.” You giggled, shrugging. “I kissed a prince.”

“You kissed a prince.”

“So…are you going to bippity boppity boo yourself back to him?”

“I can’t.” You shook your head. “When I got to him, he and his uncle were still pretending to be refugees. The war hadn’t ended yet, and by the time it does, he’ll probably be in love with Mai. I’m…I’m never going to see him again…”

“Now, why would you say that?”

Your eyes widened, and you traced Jade and Amber’s gazes to a spot behind you. Your racing heart had prevented you from noticing the bright flash of light.

“Holy shit…” Jade murmured, covering her mouth. You were almost too afraid to look.

“Zuko…” You whispered, voice catching in your throat. You felt a large, warm hand on your shoulder. As much as you wanted to turn around to look at him, you couldn’t move. You were paralyzed, frozen by the fear that if you looked, he wouldn’t be there.

Footsteps trailed through the grass, walking around you until he was standing in front of you, as real as you remembered him. His hair was a bit longer now, shaggier, almost hiding his gorgeous amber eyes from you. But his smile was still there, as rare and precious as his smiles tended to be.

His voice was soft and gentle, as gentle as the large hand that rose to stroke your cheek. “We won the war, princess. I told you I’d come find you.”

Instead of replying, you launched yourself into his arms, causing him to let out a soft ‘oof’, his strong arms fastening tight around you. “H-how are you here? H-how did y-you--?”

“Aww, don’t cry,” he cooed, stroking your hair as he teased, “I thought you’d be happy to see me.”

“I missed you s-so much…” You cried, shaking as he held you like you were the only thing in all of the worlds that mattered. “I t-think I love you, Zuko.”

“I know you do.” He chuckled. “I love you, too. Took us long enough to say it, huh?”

You pulled your face out of the crook of his neck and stroked his cheek, turning his face towards yours. He smiled softly before leaning closer and closing the distance between you. The crowd of people in your backyard cheered when they saw you and the prince of the Fire Nation locked into an embrace.

“Oh my god, she’s dating Zuko.” Jade whispered to Amber. After only seeing the prince in cartoon form, it was strange to see him here, living and breathing, and as real as you were.

“She’s done what every cartoon-loving little girl has ever wanted to.” Amber agreed.

“I can’t believe you’re here…” You whispered, brushing the bangs out of his face. His hair was a bit longer than when you’d last seen him. You wondered how much time had passed since you left.

“But that’s a good thing, right?”

“A really, really good thing.” You nodded, stroking his cheek as you studied his features, his arms still tight around your waist.

“Good. Because I don’t plan on leaving you any time soon.”

You pecked his lips. “Good.”

Tagged: @rikersgirl22

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #306

i’m v talkative today so pardon my jabbering below.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I think I've had one of those lollipops with a bug in it before as a kid? I don't remember. What would be your most ideal profession? A freelance photographer. But I'm honestly starting to lose hope. Have you tried those coloring books for adults? Yeah; it's funny you mention 'em, 'cuz a family friend got me one for my birthday earlier this month. What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I don't like talking about my sexual history, doesn't matter who you are. It's just uncomfortable. What was your first gaming console? An Atari. Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* MAY NEEDS TO FUCKIN' HURRY. My tattoo appointment is set then. :''') Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? I was a Girl Scout when I was young. What is something you're very passionate about? Nature conservation, gay rights (equal rights in general, really), the pro-choice movement, and then there are less "important" things like certain hobbies interests and such. I'm sure there are more big ones that are just slipping my mind right now, considering I feel passionately for a shitload of stuff. What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? I majored in Art & Design with a focus on Photography in college. But guess who dropped out. What was the last present you gave someone? I don't know... I mention enough that I don't have a source of income where I can really buy anything. I think the last thing I did was a Christmas gift for Mom a year or two back of a drawing I did of our late dog Cali, whom she absolutely adored. Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? Not really, no. What was the last thing you achieved? PHP has helped me focus on little victories, so prepare for an underwhelming answer haha, but it's something. I Facebook messaged an old friend I really wanted to catch up with, and everyone in group cheered for me. :') It was really heartwarming. What a shocker that this program is really helping me once again. What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? I would love love love to take at least one "famous" or award-winning photograph. It'd be such amazing validation that I'm talented at something I love so much. What is one philosophy you have regarding life/living/purpose? That's... difficult to answer seeing as I'm trying desperately to find my purpose. I do try to live by this old quote a therapist said once: "Deal with life, or life deals with you." I think it holds an incredible amount of depth and meaning in such a short phrase. How would you design the inside of your own home? I don't know the details of it, really, besides that shit is gonna look like a Halloween house year-round. I can imagine wanting black furniture, too, and having loooots of decor expressive of what I love and find comfort in. Gotta make a house feel like a home just for me. What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Backstreet Boys, duh. Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)? Two things: it depends on the topic, and "get mad" is the wrong term for what I feel. It's more disgust; ex., I'm repulsed by anti-gay rights people and want absolutely nothing to do with 'em, but I'm not like, mad at them. Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Oh yeah, and it definitely depends on the raw photograph. I edit depending on the mood it emanates; like if you've seen my roadkill photography versus nature shots, there is an extremely distinct difference in editing style and vibe. I'd say in general though, I tend to like to brighten my photographs and add more vibrance. If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? God, I could write an essay on this. I just love and am so thankful for the fact we can literally freeze time forever with the click of a button and look back on fantastic sights, beautiful moments, memories... It's just magical to me, and I adore contributing to that art. Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Well yeah, that's my preference, actually. What is your absolute favorite food? The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, jfc. Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? Fuck to the absolute hell no. What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Idk, considering I'm not well-versed in the artistic creations of other countries. Perhaps India? Japan? I dunno. If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him/her? I'm asking for his fucking autograph and a hug while I smile my face in two AND cry lmao. What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I ain't gonna bullshit nobody, my PTSD. In some way or another, he's lurking in that head of mine through memories, flashbacks, wonders of what could have gone differently... but thank God it's no longer in the forefront of my mind after my first PHP. I've come very, very far, but especially when trying to blank out my mind to fall asleep, parts of PTSD strangle my brain until I'm just finally out. I really hope that changes someday. Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Yikes, nowhere, really. I like to avoid busy locations. Do you think video games cause people to become violent? Absolutely not. You are responsible for the decisions you make; music, games, movies, etc. have no deciding voice in stupid shit you do, and it's bullshit that people blame art and entertainment for such things. Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? I'm unsure. Have you or could you build your own site? Absolutely not from scratch. The closest I've gotten to that is my photography website, but it was through the assistance of Wix. What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Scrambled eggs, haha. I do make some bomb eggs at least. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighborhood? No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. God, I want to go vegetarian again... Besides English, what other languages can you speak? I can speak a very little bit of German. Took four semesters of it in high school and became very good at it, but lack of practice has pretty much ruined that. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well; as in, I can pronounce most words I see, but that doesn't mean I understand what is written. Do you think you could make it as a chef? Gordon Ramsey would deadass kick me off his show on day one, lmao. What's your favorite kind of tea? It marvels me JUST how many tea and coffee questions are in surveys. Anyway, I don't like tea. I am an embarrassment to NC culture. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? lask;dfjal;wekrjwe What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? Stealing my happiness back from someone who had no right to hold it all in its entirety. That shit's mine. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? Most, probably, but in some ways I can understand it - at least, in the sense that with the assistance of modern technology and advancements in satiating our wants so quickly, kids just expect it. I definitely believe that patience is something to try to be deeply instilled in everyone, though. I don't have an ounce of it (in most situations) and wish I did. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? One of my favorite Southern experiences is finding a bunch of honeysuckles and tasting the honey (is it technically even honey??). Tastes amazing. My family's hairdresser lives down a beautiful path that sprouts a massive amount of them, and as kids, my sisters and her two boys would go tasting them while our parents talked for so long, or if we were waiting our turn. Good memories. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I'm not sure, really. What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? "Inappropriate humor type jokes." <<<< They can get me sometimes, too. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I don't believe so, no. Besides making a tye-dye one in HS with our school colors. Wasn't my idea and never wore it, haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? It depends on the person. If it's a friend, absolutely, because I love learning usually obscure things about them I wouldn't have known otherwise. If it's a user I don't know from wherever I got the survey, sometimes, depending on how short the answer is and my eyes kinda just scroll over it. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, especially mornings. I'm generally happier when there's light around. What's your highest level of education so far? Some college. Describe your ordinary day: My average day is embarrassingly uneventful. It's sitting on the laptop doing shit on various sites, none of which are actually important, and playing WoW, which is also without true substance, save for social interactions with my friends on there. I spray Venus' terrarium everyday multiple times as well to keep the humidity up, and obviously eat and handle that kinda bodily needs stuff. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? Ugh, that'd be so dope. I've seen some awesome ones, but idk if I'd get one, considering when am I actually going to be under UV light?? Like I wanna be able to see my tat. What is the brand and color name of your favorite lipstick? I have one black lipstick, but it comes right off so I don't even like it. I only ever put it on to take pictures. What do you like on your tortilla? Just ham and cheese. How about inside your pita bread? I've never had pita bread, actually. What do you like in your burger? It depends on where I'm getting the burger. My basic is cheese, ketchup, mustard, a bit of mayo, pickles, and a light sprinkle of diced onion, but sometimes I add bacon and take away the onions. How about on your pizza? I have three I tend to pick from: pepperoni, jalapeno, or meat lovers. Do you work better alone or in a group? Alone, definitely. Which body part would you not mind losing? I'ma be extremely honest, with just how horribly weak my legs are, I could live without them, I guess. Not saying I want to by any means, it's just exhausting using them. Ideally, I'd take away something minor, like a finger or something. What common saying people use is absolute BS to you? “'Everything happens for a reason.'” <<<< Fuckin' colossal "same." I won't rag on people who believe it, especially if it gives you courage to keep moving forward, but I don't believe it in the slightest. If it were so, I'd like to talk to whoever is in control of those "reasons," please. What is the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week? I had no idea elephants were pregnant for two years, like holy shit, can you imagine. It was in an article I saw on Facebook about a mother and daughter elephant who are both expecting and doing well. Wonderful to hear. What’s the most useless talent you have? Ha, I'm a master in the arts of catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions involving people hating me in one way or another. What’s something everyone looks stupid doing? I'm one of those people who hate dabbing done by anybody, like you look like you're just smelling your armpit. Which kids’ movie scarred you for life? I wouldn't say "scarred me for life" by any means, but when I was little, I was terrified of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz and even had nightmares about her. It sucked because my little sister was obsessed with that movie, haha. In one sentence, how would you sum up the Internet? A source of incredible knowledge but also hate and misinformation. What would be the most ridiculous thing for the government to make illegal? I literally dread the idea of Roe vs. Wade being reversed. Banning abortion would kill so many people with operational uteruses and cause absolute pandemonium. How many friends do you have on social media and how many of them do you know for real? On Facebook, I have 124 friends, and I'd say I know most of them "in real life." However, having been on the Internet since I was so young and befriending loads of incredible people, a good chunk are "online friends." Hell, I'm more interested in their lives than most "real" ones. Long-distance friendships are so valid. What fact amazes you every time you think of it? Lots of things, generally regarding the stupidity of humanity. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Probably going to the beach w/ my old friend Colleen. We had zero plans of doing it, but she just called me one morning and asked if I wanted to go, and off we went. It was a fun day. What has taken up too much of your life? I'ma be real, WoW. I don't think I'm addicted to it like I once was seeing as I go through spans where I barely want to play it at all and don't, so I truly am capable of not playing it, but rather it's just the most entertaining way to kill time in my life. I just don't like how much time I've invested into a game over six or seven years regardless. Where do you not mind waiting? Uh, nowhere lmao. Is there an app you hate to use, but still use every day? No; why would I use it if that was the case? Who is the funniest person you know? My friend Girt is fucking hysterical. What three words describe you best? Complex, passionate, and creative. What makes you think you’re smart? Lol who says I think I'm smart? Who inspires you? Korean Jesus. Okay on a serious note, not just him, of course, but he's #1 in an entire universe of ways. Do you aspire to be like somebody else? If so, who? No; I want to be my own authentic self. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Which one of your accomplishments are you the most proud of? I want to say my recovery, but like... I wonder a lot if it's "enough" to be proud of with how scarred I still am? I still struggle with a lot and feel like I could be so much better by now if I tried harder. If I'm completely honest with myself, I think it's finishing high school in the top percentile of my graduating class. There was a ceremony for the handful of us and all, and I cherish my plaque probably too much. Reminds me of a time when I knew what the fuck I was doing. What's the strangest thing you ever did as a child? Thinking I had "animal powers" where I could invoke the traits of certain animals at will, like what the actual fuck, Brittany. What did your mother teach you? Christ, a lot. Dad didn't do a lot of the raising, honestly, so much of my core values and whatnot were instilled by my mother. She taught me to care for and be nice to others, respect myself, try my best in everything, and most importantly that she is always there for me and my sisters no matter what and can tell her absolutely anything. She was very serious about us going to college and saving sex for marriage when we were younger, but she diverged from those ideas as absolutely necessary with experience. I'm extremely lucky with who I call my mom, overall. What did your father teach you? Eek... Read above. Not a lot as a kid (save for riding a bike and playing softball); most he's taught me has come following reuniting with him after my parents' divorce. I remember we went to lunch once and talked about my breakup, and he talked to me about sometimes, you just have to let people go in order to be happy, like with him and Mom. He's very serious now about ensuring us girls know that he is always there for us and will help us in any way he's capable. What makes you feel powerful? "Powerful" isn't something I really feel, if I'm being real. What are you ready to let go? It would be inexplicably fantastic if I could let every speck of Jason go in both my head and heart. What is your most bizarre deal-breaker? I don't really find any of my expectations and limits as "bizarre?" They're all valid to me. Well wait, idk if you'd find it strange that I absofuckinglutely would not date someone who hunts, but it's not to me. That's a difference in a very serious value to me. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? Hated. God, I don't want to leave this earth having given just nothing. I can live with some people hating me for whatever reason. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve made? Accepting my bisexuality, probably. That's something that I consider pretty big for two reasons: 1.) I could end up with a woman forever, and especially 2.) I was originally homophobic. I still have difficulty in fathoming how I ever was. What are some of your short-term goals? PHP is finally starting to make me build these again. I want to get better at selfcare, draw, write, and read more, I want to drink a lot more water, exercise way more... Lots of things, really. What is the weirdest thing about you? Uh. I dunno. Probably that I RP meerkats, which is a very obscure RP niche for sure.

[yourfaceislikeabluemoon]

“Do You Like Sales?”

Words: 1612

Warning: Uhh mild language and very mildly suggestive themes. Not much!

A/N: This is probably super cringy and lame but that’s my sense of humor for ya lmao I hope someone at least gets a small chuckle out of it! In any case, MJ is the prettiest. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. He’s just beautiful, I don’t know what to tell you. Anywho, hope it’s not too awful!

~~~~~

Is this guy really trying to pick me up right now? And in the paper products aisle of the grocery store of all places? So this is what my life has come to...

~~~~~

You wrestled with the large package of paper towels, trying to lug it into your shopping cart without dropping your phone or looking too uncoordinated. Managing to wedge it in on top of the other groceries, you swiped the item off the list on your phone and headed towards the napkins when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. Dreading the thought that this person had probably seen you struggling with your shopping and was about to pity you by asking if you needed help, you put on your best fake smile and turned around. You were met face-to-face with a good looking man, on the shorter side if you were being honest, with a goofy grin curving his plump lips and an ornery twinkle lighting up his smiling eyes.

“Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.” His grin widened as he rocked back and forth on his feet in anticipation of your response, rather child-like but cute nonetheless.

You thought back over the time you'd spent in the store so far, trying to recall whether or not you had unintentionally stared at the man at some point due to your mind wandering off while you gazed off into space or something. Deciding that you hadn't even laid eyes on him before he spoke to you, you figured he was just trying to talk you up to get you to go out with him. He seemed like he could endure a little teasing so you took the opportunity, chuckling softly, "Wanna know something I noticed? A large amount of nonsense comes out of a very small man. It's quite impressive actually."

Almost taken aback by your response, he stuttered out his own reply, "That...I...well...I get told that a lot actually."

"Do you?" You taunted playfully, still keeping your guard up slightly, "Do you also chat up people in grocery stores 'a lot'? Or was that just a spur of the moment idea?"

Catching on to your teasing, the man quickly regained his composure. "I wouldn't say 'a lot' but I also wouldn't say I'm terrible at it when someone does happen to catch my eye."

"Alright,” you paused, an idea quickly popping into your head.  “Do your worst," you challenged him. "Throw out all the awful pick up lines you can think of and we'll see what my verdict is when your performance is finished."

His grin turned sly and he nodded curtly. “Hmm, let's see. Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?”

Letting out a sigh of disappointment, you continued to bait him, "That was awfully cheesy. I don't know if I can say 'yes' to that or not. I'll have to think about it."

Seemingly lost in thought for a few seconds, his expression suddenly changed from wounded pride to eager excitement. “OK, we're in a store so...sales. Do you like sales? Because if you're looking for a good one, clothing is 100% off at my place.”

"Oh. My god." You stood in shock for a moment before bursting out laughing, unable to hold back considering he was somehow appealing to your sense of humor quite well, "I don't know whether I should be incredibly impressed or thoroughly terrified."

He rubbed at the back of his neck, somewhat afraid that he had crossed a line, but your visible amusement urged him on. “If I were to ask you out on a date right now, you know, just for shits and giggles, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”

You stared at him quizzically, raising an eyebrow at his baffling question. "Do you even understand what you just said? Because I have a feeling you might not."

"That didn't answer my question," he prodded as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You eyed him suspiciously, "Well, considering we both probably don't really know what you just said, my answer is I'm not answering. Next pick up line."

Chuckling at his disappointed pout, you shifted your weight to your other foot as he came up with his next attack. "Ok so you seem pretty busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?”

You broke eye contact to stare at the ground in disbelief, "Wow, you actually went there." Pausing for effect, and because it was getting kind of entertaining watching him squirm and all, you nodded slowly and looked back at him, tilting your head slightly. "Well, what else you got?"

He scratched his head, wanting for more ideas. Holding up a finger, he gestured towards you and winked, “I thought I was in a grocery store but I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.”

You rolled your eyes and giggled, "Scraping at the bottom, are we now? C'mon, you're losing steam!"

“Do you believe in love at first sight," he smirked. "Or should I walk past again?”

Thinking for a few seconds, you gave in, "I don't know, we'll have to try it again. Why don't you come down this aisle again?" The man hesitated before heading off and returning a moment later. You laughed softly under your breath, continuing your relentless teasing, "Hmm… I don't think it worked very well."

"Oooh, ouch!"

"Hey, don't get so butthurt, I didn't say it wasn't 'like' at first sight!" You covered your mouth when you realized that you had basically just given yourself away. You were actually enjoying this, and him for that matter, and now he knew and he was probably going to use it against you in some way.

Just as you expected, his expression morphed into an incredibly smug one and you were surprised that one person could be this level of ornery. “I mean I would flirt with you," he chuckled coolly before saying something that couldn't be further from 'cool', "but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.”

You smiled genuinely, "If I'm being completely honest, your awkwardness is much more charming than your attempt at flirting anyway."

"Good to know," he rubbed at his chin, losing himself in thought yet again. “How about this, I'll cook you dinner, if you cook me breakfast. What do you say?"

"If I say 'yes'," you squinted at him suspiciously. "You're buying the ingredients you're cooking."

The man raised his eyebrows and stepped back a little, "Oh, is that a 'yes' I hear?"

You thought to yourself for a moment. "It wasn't a flat out 'no' but," you paused, seriously considering the fact that you were actually succumbing to this guy's ridiculous attempt at flirting. So close to giving in completely, you broke eye contact and trained your gaze over some random product on the shelf across from you. "I didn't say breakfast would be edible," you mumbled under your breath.

He quickly took the opportunity to take a jab at your sudden weakness, “Speaking of breakfast, I’ll give up my morning cereal to spoon you instead.”

You couldn't help the smile that was threatening to spread across your lips, "That's... that's not too bad actually." Nodding, you glanced back at him, suddenly feeling much more shy than before, and sighed, signifying your defeat. "You get one point for creativity and one point for a food reference." His smile widened and you chuckled, shaking your head, "Ok, fine, you got me. 10 awful pick up lines later, you got me. I'm thoroughly surprised you had that many up your sleeve."

The man chuckled along with you, "Honestly, I have no idea where I pulled most of those from."

"Out of your ass, I'm sure." You covered your mouth as he snorted with laughter. "How seductive," you stated dryly, secretly very amused as he kept becoming more and more adorable to you.

"I try," he joked before sticking his hand out to shake yours. "Myungjun. That's my name by the way. But you can call me MJ if you want."

"Myungjun," you repeated, "I like that." He grinned widely, prompting a blush to suddenly form on your cheeks as you introduced yourself.

The two of you continued on throughout the store, MJ helping you with the rest of your shopping, chatting up a storm all the while.

His phone buzzed in his back pocket. He took it out to glance at it, "I have to go." MJ held up a finger, "Wait." You stopped the cart and he dug around in it in search of the package of napkins. Ripping part of the plastic, he fished a napkin out and took a pen from his pocket, writing down his number on the paper. He handed it to you and you chuckled softly.

"You could've just put your number in my phone, you know," you held it up. "I do have it right here."

He waved you off, "Eh, I'm old fashioned."

You shook your head, "Yeah, ok."

"You better call me!" MJ winked as he started to walk off.

Glancing at the paper in your hand, you laughed again, "Maybe. You owe me a napkin."

You heard him snort again and he gave you a thumbs up before turning to jog out of the store. "I really just got picked up in the grocery store, didn't I?" Giggling to yourself, you headed towards the checkout line. "Myungjun." You repeated again quietly, "I like that."

[ifridiot]

WoW Fic: Edible

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World of Warcraft Rating: Mature Warnings: Aftermath of Violence Relationships: Tal Runetotem (Tauren OC) + Bynx (Forsaken OC) Characters: Tal Runetotem, Bynx Additional Tags: Cannibalism, Vomit, Practical Decisions not Panning Out Summary: Tal hates waste, and he figures his undead buddy Bynx has a good idea when it comes to finding food after a battle. 

Bynx (actually named Daniel) belongs to @thats-so-ravenholm. This fic is like 7 years old, but I just found a flash drive with all my old WoW writing on it lmao.

---

As was common among his people, Tal abhorred waste. When he killed game, he used everything he could, even saving bones on occasion to use for carving. All that could be eaten, was, or at least was packed up for later consumption. Skins were collected, generally to be sold, as he’d only ruin them making anything himself. Tendons and sinews make good cord, and while his braiding was often clumsy at first, he found himself utterly capable of making solid rope from twisted strands of animal sinew. Everything in an animal’s body was a gift from the Earthmother, and it was blasphemous to squander such things.

So, despite knowing that most people loathed it, he very quickly came to appreciate Bynx’s occasional consumption of their fallen foes. They were always humanoid, and Bynx only seemed to eat those who had wounded him worst, but other than that the act seemed spontaneous, not malicious or profane.

In a way, Tal understood where the disgust came from, to the average person seeing a Forsaken dine in such a way. Especially those with a more sympathetic build to those being dined upon. There was something about it, a certain graceless voracity; it was messy and crude, just as all desperate battlefield meals were. If you were, say, a blood elf, watching a forsaken devour the flesh of, say, a night elf – or even a human – wouldn’t it be easy to image one’s own corpse treated in such a way? Indeed, even orcs and trolls shared enough basic features with Bynx’s intermittent meals for Tal to understand why they might reel away at the sight.

What Tal saw was an unconscious acknowledgment of the Earthmother’s ever-present gift. Perhaps if ever he saw a Forsaken munching on a Tauren corpse, he too would feel his guts revolt in disgust, but somehow he doubted it. Mostly he was just curious as the regulations of this strange ritual – what drove Bynx to it at such seemingly random intervals, what were the precedents for how much he ate and when? What was the meaning behind the act?

They had been traveling together just long enough for Tal to feel comfortable talking casually with the smaller male, but not long enough for him to even consider voicing a song as they walked. It was hard to work up the nerve at an appropriate moment to ask. There was a distinct chance that, had his wits always completely been about him, he never would have.

But after some time, there finally came a day when, having barely fought their way out of a mob, Tal stood leaning against his axe and panting as he watched Bynx curl over a corpse and begin to claw hunks of meat into his mouth, hot and raw. The smell in the air was foul, between the stench of death and Bynx’s wounds, the enormous Tauren couldn’t even smell his own blood, racing out of him from several rather serious wounds as it was, and he was dizzy and tired enough not to really give much thought to his mouth.

“Ey, Bynx… why does that, huh?”

The Forsaken paused, hand against his mouth as he raised his eyes to regard the larger male. Swallowing thickly, he wiped at the blood on his face, smearing gore more than removing it, before hissing out, “Do what?”

Gesturing vaguely at his companion and the corpse that had suddenly become dinner, Tal offered a shrug. “Eat him. Didn’t eat last time we fought here.”

“Nor did we almost die.” Bynx grumbled, digging his claws into the corpse and scratching up another palm-full of meat. He brought it to his mouth, glanced back up at the Tauren, and seemed to sigh in exasperation upon noting that the other’s curious stare hadn’t wavered at all. “Flesh for flesh,” he grudgingly said, eyes boring into Tal as he spoke. “I eat the flesh of the dead and heal my own.”

Comprehension was a little slower in his wounded state, but after a moment of mulling the words over, Tal’s eyes glinted in understanding. It wasn’t a ritual at all, but it made sense – if he could eat a wheel of cheese or a joint of venison and regain stamina and health, then did it not serve that any meat would do? And what were their fallen enemies then, as he had already noted, but so much meat?

He took a few steps toward the other, the motion shambling and filled with a pronounced limp. He had run out of potions long ago and they’d yet to make it anywhere to restock. As for food, he’d have to kill if he wanted to eat… and yet, it struck him, wasn’t that exactly the problem Bynx was solving right now?

“Ahh, always got a smart thing, you,” he said, looking at the bodies in a new light. One man’s arm had been severed at the elbow, and with the armor gone, the lone limb looked like nothing so much as a scrawny knuckle of meat. Holding onto his axe for balance, worried he’d fall otherwise, he bent to pick up the arm. It surprised him to feel the sharp sting of something striking his outstretched hand; he glanced at his companion, saw the knife that had been slapped against the back of his hand and the serious expression on the other’s face, and furrowed his brow in confusion. “I say ’sa good idea, and I like to try a thing for myself.”

When he moved again to take the arm, the flat of the blade slapped him once more, too fast for the eye to follow. It stung, even through the leather of his gloves. “Not for you.”

Straightening up with a low chuckle, the Tauren shook his head. Forsaken had never seemed territorial, but every race had its proclivity when it came to sharing meals. Especially with newer comrades. Using the axe like a walking stick, thanking the Earthmother for letting him find a weapon with such a stout handle, he limped toward a different body. “There, no need ta make like its theft. I got my own, killed my share and keep to mine then.”

“Tal,” Bynx hissed, his voice a low, unhappy growl, “This is a bad idea. Your people do not eat what mine do.”

Grasping the edge of a life-ending gash in the chest of a dead human soldier, Tal smiled to himself and shook his head. He’d eaten many things that most Tauren – honestly, most people in general – would shudder at. As a warrior and a young bull out on his own, he’d been stuck out in the field with no game to be had but wolves, had eaten bugs when there was nothing else. He was no stranger to raw meat, and while it certainly wasn’t his first choice, there were worse things to eat. He twisted his wrist as sharply as he could, pulling the flesh from the body. In his weakened condition, it took three tries, three sharp jerks, to finally rip the meat free. The rough sound of tearing flesh was incredibly unappealing, as was the stink of human blood and death lingering thick this close to the ground. But here before him was a means to soothe his aching wounds and heal some of his hurts.

He brought the limp, tepid meat to his mouth, trying not to breathe the stink of it, and ignored Bynx’s warning not to be an idiot. At this point, it was almost a matter of stubborn pride; he’d said he would, and by the Earthmother he wasn’t a liar or a coward. Closing his eyes, he opened his mouth, shoved the chunk of meat in, and chewed. The flavor was coppery and gamey and pungent, blood having been allowed to cool in the body before being carved, but it wasn’t all around bad.

Still, it made his guts churn, the unfamiliar sensation of nausea crawling up his throat, but he swallowed it down with the meat and opened his eyes to look at Bynx. It was something of a surprise to find the Forsaken staring intently at him, looking almost anxious. “Not a good meat, but passable in a pinch.” He said, ignoring the way his stomach was still fighting the raw, strange food thrust upon it. “Sure not somethin’ to make habits about, but…” he grumbled, reaching down to rip another chunk of flesh up.

Whatever else he might have said was lost as he bent slightly forward, trying to get better leverage to pull the meat free. His stomach gave a final roil, the sudden pain of a cramp lacing through him, and he opened his mouth with a low moan. Saliva pooled in his mouth, throat working in anticipation as his stomach heaved; his grip on the axe faltered and the weapon clattered over the corpse as he fell to the side, arms wrapping instinctively around his guts. He managed to roll to the side, getting his less-injured arm under himself to push up on hands and knees, before he lost the contents of his stomach on the bloody ground.

Having rarely in life been sick, the experience was novel, in a grotesque way. The vomit was alarmingly red, and the sight and sensation of that foul meat spilling out of him only worsened the nausea; he gagged again, coughing when his stomach finally ran out of fuel to expel. He shuddered, the arm supporting his weight feeling weak and jelly-like, but the thought of ‘jelly’ made him think in a weird way of the soft, seemingly innocuous meat he’d just eaten, and he gagged again, spitting bile.

The careful touch of boney fingers on his bare shoulder surprised him, but he didn’t trust himself to look over his shoulder at his friend. He could tell by the astringent stench of the other’s wounds that it was Bynx; the smell of his vomit mixing with that particular odor causing him to gag again, and he gave a weak, unhappy sound as he tried to swallow back a fresh wave of nausea.

Letting that sharp hand guide him back, he pushed himself to a kneel, up away from the worst of the stink. “I told you it was a bad idea,” Bynx said softly, somehow not making the words sound like a jibe or gloat. Tal could only manage another low moan, nodding his shaggy head because, obviously and as usual, Bynx had been correct. “Get up, away from your mess. C’mon.”

Forsaken were surprisingly strong, but even in this state Tal refused to put any weight on his small companion, instead carefully getting to his feet on his own. As he stood, Bynx’s hand slid from his shoulder to his elbow, and finally off him entirely. He disappeared from the Tauren’s view for a moment, returning with Tal’s axe dragging behind him. Hefting it awkwardly, he thrust it into the other’s hand, before moving to point at a boulder a little ways away from the site of their battle.

“Go sit. I’ll be with you in a few minutes.”

Not willing to argue, probably honestly incapable of it, Tal leaned against his axe again and made his shaking way to where he’d been pointed. Behind him, he could hear Bynx return to his feast. Part of him expected to feel a sharp return of his fading nausea as the sound of tearing flesh, but even when he thought about what Bynx was doing, he only felt the lingering misery of his mistaken meal. For Bynx, such was natural behavior.

For a Tauren, obviously, it was not. Just as some plants were poisonous to man but not the birds of the area, so too, it seemed, were some meats poison only to some. Human was, obviously, on the list of things inedible to him.

It was kind of shame, he thought as he sat, curled miserably over his cramped, aching stomach. The meat was so easy to come by and so often went to waste.

[in-paradox-space]

so my boyfriend just dumped me.

I wrote a massive stream of thoughts down below.

im not going to spell/grammar check it and i only write these things to look back on in the future. 

if you read it, it will be hard to follow

i write them in a way i know i will understand, because theyre intended for me. 

so a lot of context isn’t written down, because I expect myself to already put that context into the right place.

ultimately these are a collection of thoughts many many many other people think, and youre not reading anything new anyway.

In the long term this is a good thing but I’m still in shock.

One of the last things he said was ‘I think you’re mistaking being woke for being retarded’.

I had to look at it and think objectively. What if I am retarded?

Am I just retarded? I asked deep within and it’s like my body was rejecting any possibility of it being true with denile.

I know now the truth is I’m just not on the same plain as these people. It’s foolish for me to try to connect with them on that level with those questions. Whether I am or I’m not retarded, I’m in a completely different world from them and it’s just not comparable. 

Still, I had to ask. Am I retarded? Whenever I looked deep enough to find an answer, a part of me just threw back denial at any possibility of it being true.

I never claimed to be woke or all-knowing but I didn’t say that because that starts a typical pattern of discussion.

I do care what he and many people think and it’s just damaging to pretend I don’t, but if I gave in to that and tried to correct him it would just build on how much I care. Trying to acknowledge it and let it pass.

I don’t blame him at all. This sounds like self-pity but I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’m still shook but I think I’ll be alright once I’m done processing it and acknowledging it all.

Again, I don’t blame him. I’m surprised it hasn’t come to this already

I guess this is the time something good came from being a dick.

I’m wondering if I get to say this is the meds. I get hella mood swings from my medication. Like super fast switches

I’m honestly a different person, entirely different personality, on this medication. My mood literally switches every couple of minutes, sometimes quicker. I would switch between mania and extreme irritability less than a minute apart from each other after starting the medicine.

I do believe that made me act like a dick to him and many people I know.

Am I allowed to say it’s not entirely my fault because of that though. Many others, including the old me would say I can’t. I’m still to blame. Any loss of control over self is just the result of me not manifesting the willpower to make a change within myself. 

I do try to make this clear to anyone reading

but these are thoughts from deep down within

where things aren’t expressed with words, but just the understand of myself I only truly share with myself.

If you think you understand what I’m saying, you most likely don’t. Even if you think I’m wrong on that.

It’s the bane of my existence. Truly.

The feeling of not being understood while others say they understand. 

If I say nobody understands me, or you don’t understand I become a cliche

and also people can respond with ‘I know I don’t understand, thats why im asking’.

when i try to help people understand my world, it leads to them understand less and less and less

while asking more and more and more

and I’ve seen it happen a thousand times... to me. 

I know the pattern, exactly how it starts. When I notice that, I try to explain to them that I know how it starts. They’re just not going to understand the answers to the questions they ask, it’s an endless cycle. 

They believe they’re different for some reason though, that they will be able to understand. Or that’s what it is on the surface. Really, I know they aren’t real and that they’re being controlled in a way to just enact conversations in a precise enough way to get to me. 

I’m speaking in material world  terms though.

They sometimes get offended when I insist they don’t understand.

when we eventually end up screaming at each other, because I gave into their persistence

and it plays out exactly how I knew it would

they say I don’t understand

then I point it out, they won’t understand. I’ve had this conversation many times before and you just won’t. 

but they still persist and it just goes on 

I forgotten how I started talking about all of this.

but yeah my boyfriend dumped me.

this is what I actually wanted but right now I’m still shocked. which is what happens.

I was a dick to him, and many other people. I’m surprised he stayed around  that long. since february. half a year.

I’ve gotten fat since then. I’ve become very ugly. I’ve been very mean, very ignorant and just yeah not a nice partner. 

also we never kissed lmao

never felt i could authentically go into kiss him

he did try once when we was at the door, but i turned my head and pretended to be looking at something. I pretended i didnt know.

honestly I prefer girls.  i wont go into why, its just really my personal whatever you want to call it.

It’s how I feel. I don’t like females. almost none of them. It is sexism. that is the definition of what I feel. i wont try to convince anyone to think the same, or act in any way other than avoidance. 

but after lots of observation i came to a conclusion. its a long winded one, and again, its something about me that I just know. I don’t have the feelings in words.

but yeah, I just dislike females. Almost all of them. 

the ones I don’t like i must objectively admit, I hold them on a pedestal because im sort of crushing on them. they’re no different, despite that fact though. 

i also struggle to talk to them. i also had a bad history with my mother and sisters.

you can blame it to that and i accept the possibility of it being down to that too. im not saying men are better (unless thats literally what im saying. its just sort of a stream of consciousness) 

anyway yeah

im attracted to girls more but i dislike females

so i dont persue them

and if i ever do, im too fucking shy 

like i cant make eye contact with them. im so chill around guys like my heart doesnt even race. im so authentic

but i just freeze and i dont know what to say

so yeah, i went for a boyfriend instead

yeah maybe sometimes im into that, but deep down its not a lot 

maybe just as one night stands. as relationships it doesnt work.

and i guess thats part of why it fucked. I wasnt inclined to put the effort in after the initial manic phase of me falling for him

 i like not using my phone. i ignore or dont even check messenger for days

i usually reply to my one main friend only, then ignore the rest. even that is around once every 4 hours at most. 

and in person i treated him as more as one of my friends, not even a main main one. just a casual.

I also snapped and got moody about various things everytime i was around him.

it just builds up, and tonight i was being very moody. trying to make sure things go my way, because i didnt want a personal project to go differently to how i planned. 

it meant alot but deep down. I wanted control

i felt like control was being taken from me, and that was one of my only forms of control. This is where I believe my ego is destroying my life(in one way), although idk how my ego comes into that.

i didnt want to admit that, even to myself

even though a part of me was acknowledging it at the time, while fearing i might continue to desire control

leading to psychotic breaks and a downward spiral in the years to come.

him and my main friend were taking the project into their own hands. scrapping my ideas for it, and replacing it with their ideas

they both agreed they was better ideas. im in denial but im making my self type, yes, they were better ideas than mine. 

i didnt want to admit that. i didnt like that fact. it was threatening, and if a concept like that can be threatening, i presume my ego is involved.

on another note, im going to meet an internet friend, the end of this month, were gonna do shrooms and acid.

sure ego death likely isnt that simple but its worth a mention.

also ego is releated to sense of self and distinction between things in the universe. im not looking for ego death, per se (maybe i am and im just unaware), i just want  to not care what people think and what way people might percieve me

so yeah. i was being moody and making sure my ideas were in there. while they insulted my plans together.

its not painful, but  i physically felt a sigh of sadness in my chest.

ive felt much worse though. especially last time my bf dumped me. the first time he did. we didnt speak for a week. he came back. i went through so much pain in that time, that when he called me back and got back with me. i just didnt care. i met him like once a month after that and ignored him. surprisingly he took his time (months after that) to dump me too.

I know there’s a lot of great features about me, but theyre far from the surface

so i dont know why people stay with me for that long. there are no reasons for them to stay with me, that they can see without being me.

there really really are plenty more fish in the sea. fish much better for them.

so again. its a relief this happened. As long as he doesnt come back and develop on this.

as long as it ends clean like this. its all good.

I need time to process shock right now. 

Also to truly acknowledge how I feel and just feel. 

then he’s gone. 

i dont have to worry about him. im also glad i got to use him for a project in time

needed him for something else but oh well. its not something he wanted to do though 

and i wasnt being very grateful, just more demanding of him doing it. 

we also had plans. me him and my main friend. but i didnt want him there because i just feel like its extra baggage. 

so i dont have to worry about that

he got me a birthday present for my soon coming birthday. 

idk what he plans to do with that but if its edible he can just eat it. if not, he has friends, they can have it. 

this made me think though.

its understandable why he did this. he chose to leave because ultimately i was creating an unpleasant experience for us both while not actively trying to make a pleasant one.

the reason my friend hasnt left though, is simply because he’s loyal enough to stay that long. we have a stronger bond and feeling of understanding with each other. weve known each other very long and done a lot together

but how long until it becomes too unpleasant for him. 

im aware i need to be kinder to him. i honestly dont feel i have the power to be nice when im in that state though

nobody on the outside can see that

its simply me being a dick

and whether meds are to blame or not, how long would he choose to be around that

he has plenty more options

and hes similar to me, he can just move on

i need to be more open to what he says

i need to let go of my desire for control 

i dont need him,

but i want him in my life 

to have him leave my life would be a huge change. hes the only reason i really stay in this country other than my doctors being here. 

i want to explore usa, just party and do lots of shit

but i have a perceivable future with him 

if he leaves i need to figure out a way to keep my health up, while in the US

change is an important part of my life. Change and adaptation. 

thats not what is holding me back from him leaving

but I do want the future, that involves me and him going far.

Whether he takes me along or not he is going far

and i dont want to just be a leech, I want to be there with him 

I also dont have anyone physically

that im as okay with as him

i dont want my mood swings to destroy friendship

im aware of it while its happening but i cant snap out of that.

its so strong. my exterior convinces my interior that i am right, therefore, i disagree wholly with him

when he’s almost always right

and its a shitty situation

i feel so strongly about it then, that this time i am definitely right. even though all the other times like this I was wrong

then later on, i reflect and realize he was right again while i had some hints of truth+logic but was wrong

how long is he going to put up with it? 

is it long enough for the meds to be tapered down enough for the mood swings to disappear.

if so, will our friendship be as strong and undamaged as it is now, on the way out.

it would be foolish to tell him tonight because its 4:30

its the emotional irrational time of night. 

but tomorrow i... i dont emotionally want to

but tomorrow i must tell him that im different on these meds

and i dont want to snap at him

im aware i do and that hes right

and most of all, i understand why my boyfriend left, and the reason my friend hasnt done so yet is because hes more loyal and connected to me

and that i dont want him, my friend, to leave. He has many valid reasons to, and im not the greatest friend

but i dont want him to leave. the others can leave. i dont give a shit and i havent for a very long time

but if any person is important to me, its him and my good health consultant.

not even family

just him 

family have been a hindrance more than a help

he’s the one truth

i dont know what that means

but i tried to type what he is quicker than  i could think as to be as honest as i could with myself.

hes the worthy one in this unreal universe. the one who can succeed. who deserves it. 

the one i want to succeed.

if i dont succeed, i want him to. whether i do or dont

if i die and lose everything

i want all my potential to go into him so he can use it for good.

i dont want to cause him to leave, and i must ask for his understanding and patience until im off the medicine

my personality and how i even feel placed in this world is so different

i was extremely dissociative off the medicine

and i know, off the medicine i will think/realize that the medicine is just used as a means to host me

make me the same as everyone else and stop me from thinking freely. its thought control

and thats the truth but ill be much more aware of it off the meds

like i literally just 

wow

extremely dissociated is all i can hope to say

you wouldnt get it unless you felt the level yourself

but on them

im like a moody, menstrual 15 year old girl

[brown-rice]

A post about volunteering at AX a month later. Hella long shit under the cut lol

I held off posting about AX b/c I had a lot of uncomfortable, negative emotions going on. Overall, it was a good experience and one I don’t regret since I learned a lot. Now that I’ve waited so long to post tho, I’m not sure if I remember everything clearly lmao. This is going to be hella long, I can feel it.

Day -2: It was actually really stressful for me the first day. I volunteered with Ray, but we were in different departments and carpools. I only really went to AX b/c I wanted to make friends that were into the same things I was, since most of my close friends don’t really watch/read stuff. I was essentially going into my first con alone and although I’m pretty good about being friendly and trying to make friends, I still felt really lonely since I hadn’t clicked with anyone yet. I spent most of that day wandering around with this group of guys I don’t even remember and Nicole who was in my dept. The guys got along really well, really fast, and I tried to talk to Nicole, but she was really difficult to talk to, giving one word answers most of the time. Through the week tho, I learned she was just a really shy person. My carpools were one of my managers (meaning he was hella busy) and a kinda obnoxious person so I just sat around in the old HQ on my phone. It wasn’t until the night meeting that I met David, tall Justin, Leon, and Jordan who were in my dept, as well as each others roommates. Honestly, if I never met these guys, I would have had a horrible time. They were really easy to get along with and let me into their group pretty naturally, and I was surprised that they had all just met that day b/c it seemed like they had known each other a long time based on how they acted. David was essentially the cool-guy, leader of their group. We were joined by short Justin and his old roommate Joseph, and Barney. I got to know them and we all traded contact info and decided to have a drinking party post meeting. Tbh I was incredibly concerned with being the only girl going to drink with a bunch of guys I had just met, even if they were friendly. Joseph and short Justin wanted to buy better drinks and I tagged along and got to know them better. Stuff kinda got out of hand when we found out Joseph’s room was connected to the hotel pool, and short Justin invited everyone at the pool to join us so he could flirt with the girls. Everyone was super nice to me, which was gr8 b/c people kept making me drinks and trying to chat me up lol. I spent a long time laying on Joseph’s bed talking to David which Joseph was mildly annoyed with short Justin and decided to eat an edible to ease his anger. That first night was probably the most drunk I’ve ever been hahahaha

Day -1: The next day wasn’t too much different,sleeping in, just going to meetings/training and getting to know more people. I was a lot less lonely b/c I had an actual group to talk to now. Spent a lot of time talking to short Justin and meeting my new roommate Vanessa. And then we had another drinking party which I can’t really remember the details of. A lot of the dept members still weren’t there, so it was just the usual few. 

Day 0: This was probably the wildest day for me LMAO. Our volunteer work officially starts on Day 1, so I was getting kinda nervous since the con center was actually really big and I had to learn the entire layout to do my job properly. Most of the volunteers in my dept (GOH Control btw) were there now. Our job is to escort VIPs and provide light security when moving them from location to location. We use the back passageways of the convention center to help protect them. As a dept, we went around to every important location and the basic passages to each. Since it was my first time seeing some locations, I still didn’t really know what was where, so when one Kenya (my manager/carpool) asked for people to stay behind and help Sonya (dunno if anyone reads this, but names will just be people in my dept unless stated otherwise) practice giving orders, I volunteered to stay behind. In the end 4 vets: short Justin, Sean, Mono, and Jeff stayed to help 4 new: me, Gary, Nicole, and Robert. We were sent out as a large group and the vets wanted us to lead the way, but it was such a shitstorm. Gary was our lead, but each vet directed him a different way to go and yelled a lot at us, which really wasn’t helpful. We got lost, Robert went to the bathroom without even telling us, and decided to go back to the new HQ. Gary was furious. He demanded that we split into pairs b/c he couldn’t deal with 4 people yelling different things at him, and honestly, I was pretty pissed too and seconded his idea. It was quiet and a little awk since no one really knew each other and didn’t know who to pair off with until short Justin called dibs on me. In my mind it made sense b/c I thought we were p good friends and he was a 3 year vet. Everyone else paired off from there, and we split up to explore the mostly empty con center on our own. 

I was so stressed about trying to figure out and memorize locations that I didn’t really notice Justin trying to hit on me. At first it was just shoulder grabs and hand bumps, but it became hand holding and hip grabs pretty soon. At first I thought that maybe he was just walking really close and he didn’t know it, and he was still doing a pretty good job of showing me around the center with an occasional pick up line here or there (like asking me to the dance), which I took as him just wanting to get to know me as a friend. It didn’t suck when we were holding hands and honestly, his looks are my type and we were into a lot of the same video games, shows, etc. I just didn’t think things were going to escalate so fast. Pretty much done with the tour, he decided to test me/show me his “secret locations” in case of emergency, and looking back on it now, I was pretty dumb to have fallen for that haha. Tbh I was really excited, like wow this guy actually knows his stuff, I’m glad we were paired up together. And then suddenly we’re making out in an elevator. It was alright, neither good or bad, really only a feeling like “oh huh I guess this is happening, I guess we’re making out now.” I broke the kiss to explain that I asexual and that if he wanted to fuck, I was def not his girl. I think he took it as, “hoo boy this young girl is an inexperienced virgin, i’m gonna show her the ropes, etc.” We wandered around more, stopping to make out more and more frequently, and as it went on, I felt more flustered, nervous, and uncomfortable b/c it seemed like everything was going a bit too fast for me. Making out now included grinding and ass grabs which weren’t bad, they just weren’t goo either. Every time, I broke the kiss sooner and sooner, apologizing more and more, and IDK why I always apologize for being inexperienced/not putting out even when I know I don’t owe the guy anything. I knew he was getting more upset each time I stopped, and tbh if I was him, I’d be mad too. We eventually split after his best friend came to get him, and I had to meet up with my roommates to see a panel. I was so emotionally drained that I actually called Landon to vent to him, and I still feel shitty about having to do that. When my roommates found me, they could tell something was up, and I explained the situation to them. We went to the panel, but they had late volunteer shifts in their departments, so I decided to go around what parts of the con were open by myself. The panel was so funny, but not enough to take my mind off of what just happened. Eventually I met this guy named Henry who asked me if there was anything good to see at like 10 PM. He said he was looking around for business and eventually handed me a business card after I showed him a probably skeptical face LOL. He asked for social media in order to see some panels with me and I gave him my fb after deciding he was harmless. He never did message me to see something with him, but did wish me happy birthday. I don’t think I went to any drinking party that night. I was so beyond flustered aaaaaaa.

Day 1: An early morning and the first day we wore suits!!!! Since we’re security, we have a dress code of wearing suits on Day 1 and 4, while the other days are business casual. Volunteering was a lot of fun, job-wise. I enjoyed walking around and escorting a lot for some reason. No problems there really. When I got there, I had my first escort job solo and I was a little nervous. Which didn’t really help that my guest literally ran in front of me and I had to chase after his ass in my heels. Justin looked damn good in his suit, tho tbh there were a few other attractive boys and I thank the lord for our dress code LOL. Anyway, short Justin spent the whole day ignoring me and hitting on Sonya, which hurt more than I expected. I hadn’t actually rejected Justin either, but he only spoke to me when I offered people food or if we were sent on escort jobs together, which actually ended up being often. We were supposed to go to the overwatch panel together, but didn’t. Sonya and I started hanging out as the only 2 girls on shift who actually talked, and when she started complaining about Justin’s advances on her, I came clean about what happened between Justin and I b/c I wanted to vent. While I was starting to develop feelings for Justin and actually feeling jealous over him flirting with other girls, I felt more sad about losing a good friend (b/c we were into the same things, tho who knows, maybe he was lying idk). While venting in some secret code to Sonya, across the table Luis was trying to put the pieces together and eventually became interested in the convo as was Toshi, since we were around Justin and the other managers, Sonya and I stated it was just some story. Toshi, Gary, David, and I were eventually sent on an escort mission and I accidentally let slip that I had been hit on by other guys (I was so frustrated about the Justin situation and there had been a few harmless attendees who hit on me as well). David and Gary left to go hit on girls/take pictures with cosplayers, so Toshi asked me what the story was and I ended up unloading all of my problems onto this poor, unsuspecting boy. We went around the con together and talked, and found out we both liked BNHA, and it was such a good friendship b/c he was kinda into Sonya and I was trying to deal with whatever feelings I had for Justin, so it was just, idk, nice to be able to talk to someone and not worry about advances????

Toshi, Leon, and I were the only underage kids that actually hung out and went to the night parties. After getting to know Toshi, I learned that he wanted to get hella lit and I knew that there would be more parties. I went around and impulse bought a poster and spent time trying to go to some panels. When the shifts were over, I went back to the hotel hung around with David’s crew and spent the rest of the night chilling with my roommates. David then messaged me asking me to the dance, and I tried to deflect him since I was still into Justin. I think that day we also almost made the mangaka of Shoukugeki no Soma cry??? b/c he loved how we escorted him hahahaha

Day 2: Not really anything special, just more of the same kinda stuff as day 1. I spent so much money and time in artist alley RIP. Wake up early, do the escorting, explore con during free time, drinking party at night. Gary asks me out to coffee. Still mild jealousy over Justin, but I treated him as a friend like normal. I did some jobs and got candy and a free autograph!! which was rly nice of the people.My sister and her friend came, so we got some boba, and when I got back to the con center I walked from the con center to the hotel with the squad b/c they didn’t feel like waiting for a shuttle. it was tiring but a lot of fun. Since there wasn’t too much that day, everyone wanted to have a big drinking party, and Toshi was super excited b/c his goal was to get mad lit, and I went to keep an eye on him. On the shuttle, he and Sonya, who were now pretty close, both asked me if Justin was still bothering me, and I didn’t notice Luis and Joseph sitting behind us on the mostly empty shuttle, listening. They asked me about what happened and imparted wisdom from their age LOL. The people who I vented to then became Luis, Sonya, Joseph, and Toshi. Unrelated, David didn’t talk to me as much as he used to either. He flirted with a lot more girls in front of me, and Toshi and Luis said he was trying to make me jealous. I don’t get jealous ever, the stuff with short Justin was the first time that it happened to me tbh. Leon, Toshi and I are 19, compared to the rest of the dept who are 22+. It was a pretty fun night, since ofc I kept getting free drinks again, good stories, good people. 

Day 3: Not much different job wise, but I spent all my break time walking around, so i was exhausted when I had to go back, which was really dumb of me. Met up with Roman and Leinad and went around artist alley some more. Before I came back I bought some food from the Persona 5 food truck which was really good, but this creepy guy bombarded me with questions. He started off with asking my age and saying I looked young which was an instant red flag. His persistence and advances made me really uncomfortable and while I did get hit on quite a bit throughout AX, this guy was probably the worst. Leon asked me out to the neon district show and I softly turn him down. I was sent to the rooftop bar to help escort guests, but they sent me back after finding out I couldn’t drink. I decided to stay in HQ watching David and tall Justin’s stuff b/c they were going to be at the bar after we were done for the day. I thought I was just being nice, but apparently not??? When David and tall Justin get back, David tells me that he got me into the bar. That he gave away as exclusive lanyard to get me in. And ofc I’m like???/ Why???? would you do that for me???? And he just says that he wants me to see the bar, and enjoy stuff at my first con. I can’t really turn him down after he gave away his lanyard for me, so I go to the bar, they mark my hand so that I don’t drink. It was fun seeing my managers get wasted and seeing VIPs shred the dance floor tho. Luis was there and kind of questions why I’m with David, and I get a lot of questions asking if I’m his girlfriend or not. When we get back to the hotel and check discord, Gary was upset that he missed the previous party that was a lot of fun so we threw another one. A lot of shit happened. The guys thought it would be funny to invite tall Justin’s crush to the party. Tall Justin is kinda an asshole, but I learned that he was a nice guy who put up a tough douche facade in order to not look weak in front of the other guys. When he finds out that they invite her, he storms out of the party, and I felt so bad that I chased after him, and Luis chases after me, though we come back after we can’t find him. Regi gave me some boba, so I didn’t drink that much that night, Toshi had to be restrained because he was drinking too much. I messaged David to come and tell Luis and Joseph about what happened. Jeanette takes 6 shots too many after David arrives. David flirts with tall justin’s girl to make me jealous. Eventually the shuttles stop and a couple of us decide to take the last shuttle. That night was one I’ll never forget. I was pretty drunk, and Jeanette was so gone it was so funny. Tall Justin holds Jeanette up and escorts her back, I’m mostly fine, but Luis watches out for me anyway. Mono helps Toshi, and Robert comes with us. The rest decide they’ll take an Uber later. As soon as we exit the door, Jeanette falls down and asks for water, I run back inside to get her some water, find out there’s none left and then Jeanette finds her water bottle in her shorts. Tall Justin can barely hold her up and struggles to drag her to the shuttle stop. We eventually lose Mono, Robert, and Toshi, and get on a different shuttle. Jeanette can’t even sit up and flops all over Justin, while Luis and I are losing it in the seat behind them. Once we get to the hotel, Jeanette falls on the ground in front of her room and we try to find her room key in her pockets and it ends up being demagnetized, I start running downstairs and almost trip myself, Luis yelling behind me, we get back, open the door and try to be as quiet as possible since everyone in the room is asleep. I’m holding the room door open and Jeanette complains about using the bathroom so Justin opens the door for her, but she locks herself in. After Justin finally gets her out of the room, Jeanette starts calling for Luis over and over and over. At this point I just lose it and slide to the ground, trying to keep my laughs quiet. Luis walks away from door and goes down the hall, trying not to laugh himself. Meanwhile tall Justin is whisper-yelling at us that we’re so useless. After we finally get jeanette into bed and close the door, Luis and I bust up laughing while Justin tells us that he’s never drinking with us ever again.

Day 4: A very slow day. A late shift for me, so I spent the rest of my time looking for stuff in artist alley tho I decide to cut my free time early and start going on escorts even tho I don’t need to. Last day of suits and a bunch of us leave to go see the Cowboy Bebop concert. I get sent with short Justin on an awkward coffee run. I end up stuck with Joseph, Regi, Jeff, and short Justin who decide that they shouldn’t leave me by myself, which was p nice. I didn’t know if my ride wanted to go to the AX volunteer bowling after-party, and we all decide to go. Outside I meet David’s friend Josh, who takes it upon himself to talk to me and even volunteer to escort me to the after-party. The other guys look kind of worried and walk a little bit ahead of us. When we get there, Josh says goodbye and gives me his raffle tickets. It ends up being me, Jeff, Joseph, short Justin, Mono, Robert, Daisy, Jeanette, Eric + his gf, and Luis as the crew. Justin and I have a friendly rivalry as we bowl. I get to know Daisy a little bit more and wait for my carpool to be done with his work. When Kenya gets there, we say goodbye, and everyone hugs, with Justin squeezing me for a long time and whispering to keep in touch that I don’t respond to. On the way home, we get lost trying to find an open Starbucks before Kenya loses his mind. 

Post-AX, there were a lot of post-con depression feels since I ended up missing everyone hahah. I did get to hang out with Jeanette, Daisy, Joseph, and David once to get curry which was super fun, and Jordan, tall Justin, Joseph, David, Jeanette, and a few others messaged me for a good month before we both got lazy. I met a lot of good people, made a lot of good friends, bought a lot of sweet merch, learned some lessons, and enjoyed escorting. Overall, it was a really good time. I guess the biggest downside is the romantic aspect, but I guess that was just whats happens when you’re one of the only friendly, young girls in a dept. full of guys. It was nice getting free drinks tho. Tall Justin asked me out on a date over text, and when I said nah he tried to play it off like he didn’t mean to say date. Idk why Jordan messaged me after con, we didn’t really talk too much during. David still messages me and idk if it’s as friends or not. I guess the thing that I hated the most was that I couldn’t tell who was being a friend and who was hitting on me anymore. And it hurt a lot to know that people didn’t actually care who I was and only liked me because I was a young, fresh face that they thought they could teach, and then when it didn’t go well, they just stopped being friends. I came to make friends, and ofc I knew romance was a possibility, but everyone was essentially my co-worker, so why not try to get along even after the romance doesn’t work????? I just don’t get it. I’m quite thankful for Joseph tho, we ended up being pretty good friends and had some pretty interesting/deep convos. I just wish people were closer to hang out with. I’ll probably volunteer next year if nothing gets in my way as far as possible school/work. I really enjoyed the escorting, panels, and art I got to see tho!!!! I also just wish I had like even 1 friend to go with, ‘cause Ray ended up being p busy as well and our schedules didn’t always line up. 

Hopefully next year is better, and I should def be more careful.