#i tried to be funny in this

[farfaras]

Steddie week. Day 5: Established relationship. 1.3k words. Ao3 link.

@steddie-week

~

“Oh no! There’s no seats left! What will I ever do?” Eddie exclaims, like this was an actual problem. Going so far as to put his hand over his forehead, pretending to almost faint.

Steve is sitting on one end of the couch, Robin on the other side with Nancy in the middle. Argyle and Jonathan are sharing the loveseat next to them. They’re having a movie night at Steve’s. Surprisingly, over the course of the summer this group’s becoming closer than ever.

“Oh well, I guess there’s no other option.” Eddie shrugs.

Eddie approaches the couch, Steve opens his arms expecting Eddie to fall on his lap. That’s the only course of action that Steve sees possible. Then again, Steve doesn’t actually know what goes on Eddie’s mind all the time. He can imagine, guess or predict but at the end of the day Eddie keeps surprising him.

Instead of plopping himself on his boyfriend’s lap, Eddie goes and sits atop Nancy. What? Steve knows his face is full of confusion, he hears Robin snort. Well, excuse him for thinking his boyfriend would use this opportunity to cuddle him. That was the most logical explanation!

Eddie sits sideways and puts his arms around Nancy’s neck. Nancy doesn’t even look taken aback, she rests one hand on his leg while the other surrounds his waist. Steve sends them an incredulous look.

“Hey, Wheeler.” Eddie smiles at her. “How are you?”

“Hey yourself. I’m very good. How about you?” Nancy asks, nonchalantly.

“Better now, thanks for asking.” Is Eddie trying to bat his eyelashes?

Steve feels ignored, they’re doing this on purpose. When did they agree to this? “What the fuck?” Steve asks.

“What’s wrong, Steve?” Nancy shoots him an innocent look.

“What are you doing?”

“Well there were no other seats, so this seemed like the logical thing to do.” Eddie explains while knocking his and Nancy’s heads together.

Nancy nods. Her hand starts to move up, almost reaching Eddie’s thigh. Steve follows the movement with his eyes, frowning. “I don’t care how much progress we’ve made in our friendship, Nance. You move that hand any further and it all goes out the window.” Steve warns. They all know he’s joking, but Steve has to find a way for this to stop. He wants Eddie with him, and he doesn’t care how clingy that sounds.

Nancy makes a tsk sound, she turns to Eddie. “Are you sure you want him as your boyfriend? He seems kinda possessive.”

“Wha-! I’m right here!” Steve protests. He even crosses his arms in annoyance.

Eddie sighs. What the fuck is going on. “Is one of the things I have to live with.” He even shakes his head.

Nancy pouts. “Hmm. I wouldn’t be like that.” She nudges Eddie’s jaw with her nose. Steve doesn’t know how much longer he can put up with this. He swears he’s patient. This little game they’re playing should be over soon.

“Aw, if I could pick a lady, you know it’d be you.” Eddie uses his pointer finger to boop her nose. Nancy scrunches it and giggles. For fuck’s sake, Nancy Wheeler doesn’t giggle!

“That’s it, give him back!” Steve demands.

“Dingus, let them have their moment. You’re interrupting a precious thing.” Robin betrays him. Whatever, he’s used to that.

“He’s not your property, you know, Steve.” Nancy calmly says, as if she needs to explain it to him.

“Yeah. Dude’s his own person.” Argyle adds. Damn, Steve kinda forgot he was here.

Everyone is acting as if this was a normal occurrence. Steve wonders when they had the time to decide to mess with him.

“Why is this happening?” Steve asks, almost defeated. If this is how the night’s gonna go, he might as well know why he isn’t getting affection from his boyfriend.

“Well, Steve. Have you considered the possibility that we’re in love?” Nancy almost, almost breaks character right there. Her lips twitch but she manages to keep her face from smiling.

Steve gives them a blank stare. “You’re a lesbian.”

Eddie gasps and puts his hand on his chest.

“And you’re gay.” He directs to Eddie. It’s Nancy’s turn to gasp.

“I guess this isn’t gonna work.” Eddie simply shrugs. Nancy lets him go.

He stands up and settles on Steve’s lap, immediately kissing his cheek. Steve moves his hands to Eddie’s waist subconsciously.

“Hey, babe.” Eddie rests his head on the crook of Steve’s neck.

“You guys are ridiculous.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have introduced them to each other, Stevie.” Robin tells him and gives him a disapproving head shake.

“I didn’t!”

“I knew they would be a handful together.” Robin continues, ignoring him.

“Yeah, you should’ve thought about that.” Jonathan speaks for the first time in minutes, just to pile on to Steve’s distress.

“So today is gaslighting Steve day, huh.” His friends want him to suffer.

“Just play the movie.” Eddie suggests while playing with Steve’s hair. Damn it, Eddie knows it’s hard for him to stay mad when he does that.

So they watch the movie.

~

After everyone goes home, it’s just Eddie and Steve cleaning up. Steve is washing the dishes when Eddie hugs him from behind. He gives him a kiss on his cheek, then he tries to go for a kiss on the lips but Steve avoids it.

“What?” Eddie questions. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Steve disregards the question.

“Then why won’t you kiss me?” Eddie pouts, he searches for his gaze to give him his best puppy dog eyes.

“I’m washing the dishes.” Steve is aware that he’s acting like he’s angry or upset with Eddie right now. He’s not, he just figured he would get back at Eddie for earlier. He can be a little petty, sue him.

“Are you mad at me?” Eddie lets him go to rest against the counter, looking to catch Steve’s gaze.

“I don’t know. Did you do something to make me mad?” Steve’s used that phrase before, maybe it elicits a Pavlovian response in Eddie because he suddenly straightens.

Eddie seems to think it over, then he sags with what looks like relief. “Is this about the Nancy thing?”

“You tell me.”

“Baby.” Eddie drags the word, almost whining. “We were just messing around.”

Steve just nods, not giving anything away. “Sure.” He starts drying the dishes.

“You weren’t actually jealous, were you.” Eddie grabs his arm, starts shaking it. Complaining like a little kid.

“Careful, I still have to dry these.”

“Ugh. Do I have to make it up to you?” Eddie lets him go, stomps with his feet.

“Do you?” Steve finally looks at him. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll just get even.”

Eddie gulps. “Huh?”

“You heard me.”

“Please forgive me, I need attention to survive, just like Tinker Bell.” Eddie pleads.

“I don’t know…” Steve plays it up.

“What do I have to do?” They’re being dramatic, Steve knows Eddie doesn’t think this is serious. But Eddie’s known to like the theatrics.

“Maybe you need to come up with that yourself.” Steve offers. He finishes drying the dishes. He leaves them there, he’ll put them away later.

Eddie humms. He crowds Steve against the counter. “I have something in mind.” He smiles, mischievous.

Steve arches an eyebrow. “Do you?”

“Follow me.” Eddie takes his hand and leads them to the bedroom.

~

They’re cuddled up, on the bed. Satisfied and content. Sleep is almost taking over.

Before they fall asleep, Steve asks something that has him genuinely curious.

“Would you really pick Nancy, if you weren’t gay?”

Eddie groans and rolls his eyes. “Oh my god, don’t make this a thing.”

“I’m not! It’s just a question!” Steve isn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t any pushback.

“Go to sleep, Steve.” Eddie closes his eyes, ready to fall asleep.

“I’m just curious.” Steve tries again. Really! It’s just curiosity. Pff it’s not like he was actually jealous. That’s ridiculous.

“You’re gay too, you can answer your own question.”

“That’s different. We already tried dating once, and being repressed homosexuals wasn’t the only reason we wouldn’t work.” Steve explains.

Eddie places a kiss on his forehead. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Eddie!” He whisper-yells. Doesn’t get him an answer. He narrows his eyes at his boyfriend. “I’m watching you two.”

[whysamwhy123]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: All Elite Wrestling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Donovan Danhausen/Hook Characters: Donovan Danhausen, Hook (Professional Wrestling) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Texting, As in the entire thing is a text conversation, Not Kayfabe Compliant, Attempt at Humor, Jealousy Summary:

Danhausen has some Thoughts about a certain Rampage segment. He decides to share them with Hook.

Hey, so I wrote one of those Text Message Convo fics based on that Hook segment from last night’s Rampage. Trying to get better about writing shorter, straight-to-the-point stuff. Maybe check it out if any of that interests you??

[unforth]

Y'all I know that when so-called AI generates ridiculous results it's hilarious and I find it as funny as the next guy but I NEED y'all to remember that every single time an AI answer is generated it uses 5x as much energy as a conventional websearch and burns through 10 ml of water. FOR EVERY ANSWER. Each big llm is equal to 300,000 kiligrams of carbon dioxide emissions.

LLMs are killing the environment, and when we generate answers for the lolz we're still contributing to it.

Stop using it. Stop using it for a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. We need to kill it.

Sources:

[benisasoftboi]

Best thing about Doctor Who, and I mean this so genuinely, is the way it goes from ‘haunting Celtic folk mystery about death and penitence’ to ‘what if your group chat banter was so dire that your phone developed sentience and tried to kill you’

[joshuamj]

Hero.

[chloesimaginationthings]

This could be a kart if FLAF wasn't fucking around..

[artisfaction]

[doctorsiren]

“It would eat you alive, Sixer”

(Available as a print on my Etsy shop)

[incredubious]

comic I did last year that I thought was too self indulgent to post ever anywhere but .... here we r...

[mcducky1356]

I drew this at 3 am so you know it’s legit

[separatist-apologist]

Genuinely, and I mean this kindly, but learning to recognize bait and not engaging with it will change your fandom experience.

[beybuniki]

BakuKami & Jirou <3 request!

[akanemnon]

How to be an annoying little jerk 101

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference

[meltedmush]

I realized today that Ming Fan’s immediate elimination was a Donghua only thing,,, I’m sad it isn’t apart of the original novel, but gosh I’m so happy the Donghua gave out so many bits of comedic gold

[ronanxing]

everyone rightfully doing princess mononoke redraws but may i offer castle in the sky

[totally-here]

dpxdc twins au except it's no-pulse flavored

Bart’s new roommate looks a lot like Tim. 

Like, suspiciously like Tim. 

Danny’s the same height, has the same shape of nose, same shade of hair, and even frowns like him. He would have been a perfect copy if he acted more like Tim, but Danny definitely holds himself looser than Bart’s ever seen Tim. 

But he still has his face. So, obviously, Bart has to investigate. Maybe he’s a clone, or a shapeshifter, or maybe one of the Gotham rogues decided to get facial reconstruction surgery to look like him, and this was all a ploy. 

Okay, probably not that last one. Bart doesn’t think Tim’s enemies know his identity. 

Anyway, investigation! Bart’ll figure this out himself, and deal with it if Danny needs to be dealt with. And the investigation will start right after he comes up with an excuse as to why he’s back in their third floor apartment when he passed Danny in the hallway a few seconds before. 

Danny stares at him, and Bart stares back. 

“Must’ve been a doppelganger!” Bart blurts out. 

Danny’s silent for a second before nodding enthusiastically and noting that everyone's supposed to have like seven in the world anyway and wow what a wild coincidence that there’s one in their building. 

Bart extends the same courtesy when a week later he walks in on Danny with an iced over pan on the stove. Danny says they should really get their freezer checked out and Bart agrees and asks if he can use the ice for a painting study. 

(They never get their freezer checked.)

Bart finds that Danny’s great at setting up fun things for him to draw, whether he knows it or not. Like the ice, or his collection of rocks, his astronomy textbooks with the pretty covers, his gestures as he rants about his classes, the excited glint in his eyes when he’s talking about his next repair project and how his eyes almost look like they glow in the right light. 

Hm. A good portion of his sketchbook is drawings of Danny, and yet he’s still having trouble with getting the right blue for his eyes. At first glance they’re Tim’s shade of blue, but when he keeps looking they seem to get lighter. Maybe greener?

He should probably stop staring into his friend’s eyes. 

Well, maybe not. Danny doesn’t seem to mind. 

Just like he doesn’t mind when they started regularly sitting very close on the couch, or falling asleep together, or Bart borrowing some of his jackets, or-

Okay, Bart’s kinda seeing a pattern. He and Danny should really have a conversation about if this is platonic behavior or not. 

But not right now, because Bart brought Danny across the river to raid Wally’s board game closet in Keystone. 

And Wally, who’s used to this, just passes by them with a, “Hey Bart, hey Tim.”

“Danny, not Tim,” Danny replies almost absent mindedly, then looks back at Wally, who’s also staring at him now. “Wait, you know Tim?”

“OhmyGod I was supposed to investigate!” Bart says, face palming. It just slipped his mind! And Danny was distracting him with his pretty face that he totally wears better than Tim!

“You know him too?” Danny asks. But he doesn’t look suspicious of them, more amused. 

“How do you know him?” Wally squints at Danny, eyes briefly catching Bart’s in question. 

“He’s my twin,” Danny answers easily. “The Drakes only wanted one kid, so they gave me to their friends the Fentons, who wanted a second one.” He shrugs and goes back to digging around the closet. “Tim and I were always in contact, though. Letters and phone calls and texting, you know?” 

He says it all so casually while Wally and Bart are sharing increasingly concerned looks behind his back. 

Do the Waynes know about Danny? Has Tim never brought him up? Why? Does Danny know about Red Robin? Does Tim-

“Holy shit does this mean Tim has ice powers too!?” 

Or: Tim and Danny are twins. Through a series of coincidences, the first people to find out that aren’t Fentons or Drakes are the flashes.

(This post was brought to you by me recently finishing the 1995 Impulse run, and wanting an excuse to share this panel:

Look they both got called twinks clearly they're soulmates)