#i understand what katte felt

[icanseethefuture333]

Random ass question, but what do you think is the best way for a 4/10 girl to become at least a 7 out of 10? I’m aware that “beauty is subjective” but I’m literally below average, 4/10 is being lenient for me lol

How to have confidence in your physical appearance 🎀

First of all sweetie,

let's not rate ourselves on a scale about how pretty we are! It's really degrading and I feel like you deserve so much better than that. Living in a generation where filters are oversaturated, people using AI to edit their photos, and incels with porn addictions and have never felt the touch of a woman, will call the most beautiful girl "mid". It's so understandable why one's self esteem can feel low at times. You need to change the way you talk about yourself (especially me). Beauty always start from within - as redundant as that sounds. You can't feel pretty if you're not focusing on the reason why you feel this way. A pretty soul (and self concept!) makes a prettier face. Moving on, let's get into the actual tips of a glow up 💖

Let's address the elephant in the room 🐘: you're not ugly, just acting pitiful

Have you ever wondered why you have seen those people who are considered "unattractive" or "unconventionallly pretty" by others be in successful relationships or popular with their peers? It's because they have confidence. Have you ever been attracted to someone that may not necessarily fit the beauty standards or be considered a jaw dropping model, but you thought they were cute anyways because of their personality or charm? That's exactly what I mean. You can be a pretty face or have a nice body, but have terrible self esteem. Living in California my whole life I come across this everyday. There is plenty of beautiful people here, but there is also a lot of people with no sense of humor and no offense, but have no personalities. In other words, you can be attractive, but superficial and boring.

To feel beautiful or more like a "10" even on your worst day is mainly having a good self concept. You need to think with the mindset of "I am the baddest bitch even on my worse days and nobody can make me feel different about that, not even me." Our concept can be changed, reshaped, rebuilt, morphed, etc, into any way we want it to be. Our self concept and dominant thoughts are created by our previous past experiences and what people have told us what we are. For example, if you were bullied in your youth and somebody picked on you for your features. Why would you give a fuck about what a bully thinks??? A person who humiliated and traumatized someone at a weak point in their life does not matter. Their opinion, their actions, their thoughts - doesn't matter. You can change yourself anytime you want, we are animals, we are literally mean to be apart of this cycle called life and our habits, attitudes, opinions, etc, can change at any moment. We are meant to grow and adapt. You get to decide who you are, what you feel, and how you wish people to perceive you. Nobody else. So when you repeatedly say things to people like "I'm not beautiful", they're gonna get tired of it honestly and be like "Yk what damn bitch I guess you are ugly!" because it gets tiring to hear someone complain about the same thing even when they just reassured them (again, I'm guilty of this too). So when you depend on someone to make you feel good about yourself, that's just codependency. You are also giving them the power to manipulate you. Don't do that. Be free and be independent, love yourself. It's your self esteem and you cannot be dependent on anybody else to fill that void you have within yourself.

As Katt Williams said, "It's the esteem of your motherfucking self!"

Why it's not your fault you don't 'feel" pretty

Like I said above, you are most likely a product of your surroundings. Most people are not raised by their parents to have good self esteem or to teach them how to be confident or emotionally secure. There are many environmental factors to insecurity and that it is okay if you are never 100% feeling confident about yourself. People in the media construct this ego to seem "cool" and act conceited as a way to avoid being seen as weak to society. You can be confident and also have insecurities. Confidence is just about being secure with the essence of who you are and setting boundaries when necessary with other people when it comes to that. A confident person doesn't tolerate disrespect.

"Conceited" or confident?: how to avoid confusing the two

I think the most irritating thing to me that is normalized these days is narcissism and conceited people. People will literally act boastful and cocky then say "I'm just confident". Behaving like a narcissist or saying that you are one is not cute and never will be because it's literally a personality disorder, a mental health condition. Everytime I hear this it makes me want to roll my eyes so far back into my head. Try to avoid being this person with a "God complex" because there's a difference between a person who is being loud and fake with "confidence". A real confident person makes moves in silence and is genuine with themselves. If you have to brag or put another person down to feel like hot shit, then you're not a confident person, period.

Tips to enhance your beauty

As I said before anon you are already a 10 in my eyes, but I understand how it feels to not feel pretty at times and we all have our days when we are looking "rough". Here are some self care tips I do that helps me feel pretty and pampered physically ✨️

Get some beauty sleep! This is not just a saying. When your body has time to rest it gives you time to reset & have more energy for the next day. Getting plenty of sleep helps prevent dark circles & puffy eyes as well. If you struggle with falling asleep spray lavender pillow spray, drink tea, or play asmr/soothing sounds.

Skincare & hygiene, this is such a crucial step that everyone should practice in their daily lives. All of us have different skin textures and when we neglect our skin it causes a dry, oily, or bumpy surfaces. Now skin texture is totally normal but if you notice the days where you are not washing your face frequently enough, your skin either looks dull, dirty, or you experience more pimples / acne breakouts. Not to mention how dirty we feel when our body is projecting a certain odor. You don't need to have an extravagant routine, but at least try to have about 4 hygienic products (soap, deodorant, lotion, & body spray/prrfume) and 4 skincare products (facial cleanser (I recommend double cleansing!), serum, SPF/Sunscreen, & face lotion).

Mirror work, saying affirmations in the mirror has proven to be helpful for people's self esteem & feeling more confident with their physical appearance.

Change your wardrobe! Start dressing for your body type & how your ideal self would. It might feel uncomfortable at first but you will feel so much more beautiful! You could try finding videos on tiktok of people with your body type to help (for example, if you are plus sized, you could search your desired aesthetic & find people with the same shape as you).

Detox from social media 📱, learn when it is time to take a break from your phone & engage with the real world. Scrolling for hours on your phone can be really harmful especially if you're reading negative comments or watching videos that are self depreciating.

Follow people who uplift you, not tear you down. If you are following people who obviously are negative or affect your self esteem somehow, then you do not need to be supporting them.

Make appointments! Whether that is a doctor appointment or lash, nail, or hair appointments. Take care of your mind, health, and body. You could ask your doctor what vitamins you should take or also seek a counselor/therapist to find the root of your insecurities in a safe place. Also sometimes just getting my hair or nails done makes me feel more confident!

Learn to treat yourself. Buy yourself flowers or a gift you always wanted but never received. This could be anything, it doesn't necessarily mean to spend money. For example, cooking your favorite food, having a lazy day, etc. Remember that you deserve to be happy!

Lastly, beauty spells, glamour magick, and manifestation are popular methods for people who wish to enhance their physical appearance. I do all of these myself and I always feel so hot afterwards!

I hope you found these tips helpful beautiful ♡!

[andrewisdoing]

Things That Definitely Made Me GAY (Part 2):

MUSIC ICONS: Part of my Coming Out would be incomplete without the music that found me during that time. I’d wager my survival had every bit to do with the singers, songwriters and entertainers I was playing at the time. I especially credit Madonna, Janet Jackson, Barbara Streisand and Rufus Wainwright. They were the unexpected heroes in my ears everyday reminding me it was okay to embrace the dramatic, funny, complex, sexual situations of life in song.

FILMS: I am a firm believer that people are always searching for bits of themselves in the movies. So, being the teen I was, I wanted to find parts of my being in the movies to be affirmed that I wasn’t alone. Whether it was a documentary or rom-com, I wanted to escape into a potential future or an idea of what it looked like to be a gay man in 2009. Documentaries were a gift from heaven because I got to see where we had been and where we were going. I still feel that way as a 30 year old. I feel like I still am eager to see stories of us and find parts of myself on celluloid.

VOGUEING/PARIS IS BURNING: This movie quite simply changed and saved my life in a LOT of ways. When Madonna’s Vogue (BEST SONG FOREVER ON REPEAT) came into my life, my godmother introduced to me to the Houses of New York City, the Ballrooms and the origins of Vogueing. I had never felt so seen as a black gay person in a film prior to seeing PIB. It was the antidote to existing in a suburb in Washington. To know I wasn’t alone in the world and that there was a place beyond Washington where people like me exist, was (and still is) the greatest gift anyone, especially from kin, could’ve given me.

QUEER AS FOLK: THIS SHOW TOOK ME THERE. I remember hiding the box sets at many friends’ houses when I first had come out. While the show can be a bit dated, the stories and original characters really shaped what being a part of the LGBTQ+ community could potentially be as I grew into adulthood.

HISTORY: When I first came out, I made it my personal mission to read up on all things gay history to understand who came before me and whose footsteps I was walking behind. I found so much solace in the bravery we displayed as a community. I know that I am free to be me because of the folks who came before me. I hope that as time goes on, we discover more unsung gay heroes.

HEROES: I went out to of my way to find people who were like me and people who had the same interests as me. Finding people who made me feel understood and created the work to express all the facets of not only the human experience but the gay experience. Whether it be through dance, poetry, filmmaking or photography, I credit these artists for saving my life through their work.

FATSO: Some kids first cartoon crushes were Aladdin, Hercules, HELL, I could even bet that some had crushes on The Beast, BEFORE HE BECAME HUMAN! Me? Mine was (and still is) Fatso. Some have read him as a queer coded character and for my sake, I really hope that it’s true.

PORN & The Pornstars That Make Em’ : As weird as it may seem, discovering Porn really helped me feel liberated and free to understand my sexuality and what I really liked. Also..boy, oh boy, the men and the videos that still to this day..get me off is a list that’s too long to count. From Zeb Atlas to Tom Katt, these men served the fantasies that were so hot and beefy, I still can’t believe my eyes. Being gay certainly has its perks.

NOAH’S ARC: In the same vein as QAF, Noah’s Arc made me feel not only seen as a gay man but as a black man. I love that the show gave the community so many versions of our existence. Making us more than a side character or the uplifting and sassy character, at that. We were portrayed as human and proof that we exist.

[bignickrgxa2]

Man I watched the entire Katt Williams interview and I have thoughts:

Seems like a chill fuckin dude

Not a single fuck was given.

I don't have any opinion about the people he continuously destroyed but man I wouldn't wanna be them right now coz Katt comes across like a fucking freight train.

Seems kinda disingenuous about saying he doesn't shit on people to boost himself when he kinda does both, but slightly separately. But he's clearly a good guy who just has a lot to say and wants to clear the air.

Haven't seen anyone talk about the weird misogynistic/borderline homophobic shit? Here? I say borderline, because he openly promotes being positive about specifically gay people, but also hires "about 70% female" staff, including his "joint roller", because basically "ew man saliva in my mouth". Again, he seems like he's chill in general, but just some weird shit. Idk. Felt weird to me. Like in one breath he disses footballers for going to strip clubs and then later he literally says he goes to strip clubs idk. Weird flex but ok.

The whole toxic woman conversation was icky man. Weird vibes there.

I'm white as fuck so most of the black-centric stuff is basically not my area and I wouldn't wish to speak on shit I don't understand but again he sounds like a genuinely nice guy who just wants to lift people up with his wealth and connections. Which is nice.

His Kanye opinion is, in my opinion, absolutely spot on. I even agree with what he said about Kim, although I'd have said it perhaps differently lol

Shay is a really good interviewer, but he needs to just tighten up his game a touch. Like he's a 9/10. But great job just letting Katt absolutely bulldoze the interview, never cut him off, asked him interesting questions, some of them he'd already outlined previously in the interview but again, 9/10 isn't bad.

Honestly it's an absolute must watch interview. It reminds me of when the CM Punk interview on the Colt Cabana podcast dropped just under a decade ago.

[toonjazzy]

Told my mom I try so hard not to be a bitch and tell my friends I really don’t wanna hear about their boyfriends/Girlfriends

She said that it’s like when I get obsessed with cartoons and music. Still don’t get it bc that’s actually A WHOLE LOT of interesting things while humans are just humans xbsjakakw

BUT I think I kind of get it??? I get obsessed with my friends and talk about them and wish they were always around. Wish Doodle was around so we could jam out to PLUTO, wish Tay was around to help me animate, wish Katt was around so I could hug her whenever I felt like it, wish Space was around so we could ramble about Hole Punch and also let me wear its platforms—

I love my friends! I get obsessed with them, I get so happy every time I see them

I may not understand what irl people are feeling with Romance and forget it’s not fictional.

But I try!

[vecnawrites]

Dog tail faunus Jaune goes into heat and the only one near by is Neon Katt who is more than happy to help she just under estimated how bad his heat was and what hes packing.

Jaune panted, his tail twitching as sweat dripped down his body. He fought back the urge to whine, he wasn’t a scraggly preteen dealing with his first heat, he was an adult now, with several under his belt. He would have to get back to the dorm first, before the effects really hit him; he didn’t want a repeat of the first time he had lost control, or the last time.

He had been lucky as all hell that Saphron and Terra had wanted a baby, and were going to ask him to donate anyway. So while it was awkward to mount and rut his sister-in-law in his head, it had at least worked out for them, and was nothing more than something to laugh about now.

But even more than that, he thanked the Brothers that Velvet was such a kind and understanding girl, even being sweet enough to say she was willing to help him out again if he needed it. He had been incredibly thankful, hugging the girl tightly. He did wonder why she had such a blush on her cheeks, though. It might have been embarrassment, since they were both still naked at the time.

But that was neither here nor there at this point. Velvet was on a mission with her team and Pyrrha (who had heavily insisted, cheeks as red as her hair that he come to her for help the next time his heat flared up) was away doing some sort of sponsorship thing, leaving him alone at the moment...he shook himself again. He needed to leave, to get back to the dorms, before-!

“Heeeeyyy~!” Jaune froze as the cute cat faunus from Atlas appeared before him, her eyes sultry and looking interested, roaming over his body, her own feline tail flicking back and forth. He watched her sniff the air and lick her lips, his own powerful nose picking up a sweet, almost cloyingly so, scent. His cock throbbed as he realized it was the scent of her arousal, a sweet, tempting thing that called to him, made his libido swell, his cock throbbing and straining lewdly against the fabric of his trousers.

Before he could say anything, the orangette snagged his wrist and began walking, dragging him along with her, helped out by her roller blades...it also had the added effect of flipping her skirt up every few seconds, revealing her plump, pert cheeks of her ass, and just beneath it, flashes of pink, shining under the light, which told him not only where the wonderful smell was originating from, but that this girl was very daring, going around in a skirt that short without panties.

Hey couldn’t stop the yelp from escaping his lips as he was dragged into one of the empty ‘study dorms’ (which were meant for studying, but were more often than not used for sex. He would know, one of these were where he and Velvet ended up) and shoved towards the bed as she closed and locked the door behind her. Looking up, he was met with a blur of color which knocked him to the bed with a naked orange haired girl above him, hovering with a cheeky grin on her face.

~x~x~x~x~

Neon Katt was what one would call a party and fun loving individual. She loved nothing more than having a good time, and orgasms definitely counted as having a good time! They were the perfect way to wind down after a long, stressful day...or just to have fun and relax!

But, much like a cat, she was also quite the opportunist. She knew that the blonde beneath her held the biggest dick in the fucking school, and she had interrogated, uh she meant, had a ‘girls chat’ with the bunny faunus in the year above when she saw the weak, bow legged, limping gait the bunny had, telling anyone who knew anything that she had been fucked marvelously.

As the mortified bunny spilled her guts to Neon, the party Katt found herself drooling from both sets of lips. Hell, she was surprised that Velvet had actually been able to walk at all from how vigorous she said that he had been!

A plan quickly hatched in her mind, a genius, diabolical plan to get some loving! A cunning plan to ensure she got fucked just as heartily and well as the bunny faunus had. It wasn’t like people were lining up to share her bed in Atlas, after all.

And so far, the plan had worked perfectly! She could feel that cock pushing up against her pantiless ass (she was beyond thankful that she had forgone the garment on the way here as she had been so wet she might have ruined it, and she might do so from now on, that was so naughty~) and gazed down at her prey with a sultry look on her face.

“Well now...I can feel you’re having a bit of a problem, big boy~” she cooed, rubbing back against the thick cock still trapped within it’s bindings. She licked her lips, sure that she was going to have a wonderful time riding that beast. “Fortunately, Neon’s more than willing to help you out!”

Scooting down, Neon licked her lips hungrily as she stared at the massive bulge, her fingers curling into the fabric of her pants, pulling them and his boxers down and-

WHACK!

Her vision swam, not only from the sudden strike to her face, but the thick wave of hot musk that washed over her and drove her animal instincts wild, her pussy gushing and squirting out onto the bed, panting and huffing up the delicious musk that filled her lungs and overpowered her brain, frying her synapses. She squirmed, her nose rubbing that thick length as she slumped down and forwards, until her face was covered in an almost boiling warmth, her tail flicking back and forth wildly as the mind melting smell cloaked her lungs, imprinting itself into her nose and brain.

Her small chest pushed outwards as she inhaled as deeply as she could, pale pink nipples hard and swollen, as she refused to leave the musky warmth that enamored her so. She could stay there forever...she rubbed her face deeper into that heavy sack, her toes curling.

She was so intoxicated by Jaune’s musk, she failed the warmth going missing, her being spun around and settled onto her front, face down, ass up, the blonde gripping her hips. She did, however, take notice when the thick fat shaft she had just been shamelessly rubbing her cheeks against fell between her toned ass cheeks with a loud SLAP, the fat rod rutting a bit between her cheeks before sliding down and resting against her soaking, dripping pussy lips.

She looked back drunkenly, eyes widening as she saw the large, obscenely thick cock attached to the blonde Arc, with an even thicker, bulbous, fist-sized knot at the base, twitching with every heartbeat of the young man it was attached to. She swallowed hard. “Uh, can...can we tal-”

-SLICKT!!

Neon’s eyes crossed as Jaune’s bitch breaking fuck stick of a cock spread her pussy wide open, though thankfully, she could feel that massive knot still outside of her poor core. A strained mewling noise escaped her lips as her fingers curled into the sheets, her body trembling heavily from the myriad of sensations rushing through her body.

She felt her lover begin to move back, and her core, on reflex movement, began to squeeze down, trying to keep the heavy cock inside her body, before a loud yowl escaped her throat as Jaune decided to thrust back inside her body with a slick noise, her pussy clamping down hard around the shaft in a faux orgasm.

The pace wasn’t slow. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t loving. It was rough, primal, aggressive, outright animalistic. Neon could only release the most pitiful mewls as she was thrust into, fucked into, the bed, her tongue hanging out of her mouth, drool staining the sheets beneath her.

Plap! Plap! Plap! Plap! PlaP! PlaP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP!

Wet, slick noises filled the study room air, along with male and female sex musk, as Neon was fucked hard, fast, brutally into the bed, her more carnal, feline instincts loving it, her pussy flexing and clamping down on the invader in constant, wet and messy orgasm.

Pap! Pap! Pap! Teal green eyes widened as Neon felt that fat knot prodding insistently at her pussy lips with every thrust now, feeling the cock within her twitching and throbbing in warning of what was to come. Gathering every bit of strength she could in her panic, Neon raised her head up. “W-wai-!”

POP!

“NNNNNNNNNN!!!” Neon’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks, before rolling up in her head as her entire body went stiff, her tail sticking straight out like a ramrod as Jaune’s knot found its way into her unprepared pussy, locking her and the blonde together, hip to ass, the tip of his cock pressed flush against her cervix.

“nnnnnnn♥~” she whined out as her blonde lover began to rut into her body again, his big strong hands moving from her hips and down to her butt, fingers sinking into the muscle as he delivered shorter, but far more powerful and intense thrusts, his tip smacking into her cervix over and over.

Fingers and toes curled into the sheets, nearly tearing them outright as Neon lost herself to the brutally intense fucking, her pussy clamping down and squeezing tightly as she squirted, reaching her most powerful orgasm yet.

She slumped to the bed, boneless and body quaking as Jaune continued to slam into her over and over and over again, his thick cock throbbing and twitching mightily deep within her, signifying that his own orgasm was imminent. Neon knew, she just knew, that the moment he came she would never be the same afterwards! Her eyes widened as she felt a powerful throb within her, followed by incredible warmth filling her belly. Her toes curled.

“Nyaaaaaaaa♥~!” she cried out, hearts in her eyes as she fell face first to the bed and quivering as she felt strong, thick spurts of warm cum filling her belly, shooting into her welcoming womb. She blissfully passed out, purring deeply, and an overjoyed expression on her face.

Huffing, Jaune slumped over Neon’s body, slowly rutting his hips as his balls steadily drained into her warm and velvety pussy. Carefully gathering the unconscious girl into his arms and turning onto their sides, Jaune tucked the unconscious cat Faunus against his front, he settled and let himself relax, letting the dopamine and serotonin from his continuous orgasm wash over him, his hand gently rubbing over his sleeping partner’s slowly swelling belly.

He closed his eyes, hoping that when both of them woke later, she would feel up to another round before separating. Burying his nose into her hair, he allowed himself to drift off, happy and content.

[damnhotmsimmons]

Assuming the cm revival is still happening, here's a list of what I want in the revival and what would make it better:

Tara, Luke and Matt getting more screentime and decent characterization

No more Reid angst and unnecessary drama(*cough*15x06 & 15x10*cough*cough*)

Garcia being in the revival, whether she returns to the BAU or not, it would be nice to see what she’s up to whether it’s about her new job or date and relationship with Luke

Garvez, seeing the development of their relationship since the end of 15x10

Resolving the Garcia stalker storyline from 15x04, maybe Alexei Stanovich resurfaces and Garcia needs the BAU’s help to stop him. Maybe it’s also coincidental that he resurfaces the moment Garcia starts a relationship with Luke

Letting Paget go gray when playing Emily again. The crappy wig has got to go

Have the team struggle to adjust to Garcia’s departure, maybe a callback to 11x20 or 6x03 when Garcia walks past JJ and Morgan’s empty office. Maybe Emily, JJ or Reid walk past Garcia’s empty office, which was once filled with light and colors

Emily struggling to find a convenient replacement for Garcia, which is tough as Garcia is irreplaceable but the team are not able to complete cases without a technical analyst

Have a realistic timeskip, maybe a few years have passed since 15x10 and we see how much has changed since Garcia left and so much has changed

More friendship moments with the ladies(and yes, this also includes Tara)

More Luke and Tara friendship moments

Give Tara more to do, I mean she was the only one who didn’t have an episode in the final season and I felt that Aisha was underutilized in that season especially when she’s been on the show since season 11

Same thing also applies to Matt, sure he has gotten some focus in three episodes in the last season but he was still underutilized and characterization from cmbb was ignored. Kinda jarring especially when some of those writers came from cmbb

Assuming that the revival will continue and knowing that Daniel has commitments to another show, maybe give Matt a proper send-off, just don’t pull an NCIS. Leave it open ended incase he’s able to return

If they want to revisit past cases, maybe resolve the escaped prisoners storyline, the one with the Romani family in 4x13 or bring back the unsubs from Lo-Fi/Mayhem since we didn’t know much about them and their motives. The latter could also be beneficial for Tara, Luke and Matt since Tara can use her forensic psychology skills when it comes to profiling the unsubs, Luke being from the Bronx indicates that he has some familiarity with the streets in NY and Matt utilizing his tracking skills and connections

Since the revival will be on Paramount+, I’m hoping that means the revivial gets a decent budget. I’ve never seen any original series from Paramount+(CBS All Access then) but I notice from gifs and commercials that the quality of those shows look good and I’m hoping the same applies to the revival, which means better lighting and no more of that ugly yellow filter

I’m also hoping that means better quality in the writing, maybe get new writers that understand the characters and show well. Fire the writers who suggested Jeid

Better wardrobe, it seemed that the quality for the wardrobe aside from Garcia’s went downhill

Be more consistent and acknowledge the character’s ptsd. I hate how they have the characters act like things are suddenly alright after one episode

no more gross and creepy unsub like the guy seeing the goat man or cutting off faces like wtf?!

give the revival a tone similar to the early seasons. Use the early seasons as a reference

another episode like 15x04. Since the revival will focus on one case as opposed to the usual “case of the week” type, maybe there’s room for a breather episode, and we see the characters on their day off, a little break from whatever serious storyline 

Let Rossi retire, honestly, he’s way out of his prime and it’s getting obvious that he’s too old to be going on the field especially when he got ambushed by Everett Lynch who is much younger than him. Honestly, the finale should have ended with Rossi retiring, especially as he’s been in the BAU since the beginning and it make sense that it ends with him leaving and moving on while the rest of the team move on without him

unpopular opinion, I think the show can last without Rossi/Joe

More Willifer moments and Katt moments. I’d also like to see Matt and Kristy taking care of baby Rose. I’d also suggest JJ and Matt bonding with their kids but that seems uncertain since depending on when the revival will be greenlit for production, there’s a chance that the kids grow out of their roles(JJ’s kids might not be that affected but Matt’s kids definitely will). Unless they either recast the kids(which isn’t uncommon for some shows) or have a timeskip which explains the kids being a bit older than in s15

Fix JJ’s character, I hate how the writers ruined her by making Jeid happen. AJ is a great actress and she cares about the character. Maybe have her interact with the newer team members, build up more of her friendship with Tara and Matt. I’m not sure how the writers can fix her characterization but I wished they push the whole Jeid storyline out and focus on her as a character

I’d love Hotch and Morgan to be mentioned or acknowledged, making it clear that the team still keeps in touch with them even though they’re no longer working for the BAU. Cameos would be nice but that depends on Shemar’s availability due to commitments to SWAT and the whole situation with Thomas during filming of s12

Guest appearances from other former characters would be nice but also unlikely since Gideon and Stephen are dead, Kate is mostly forgotten(plus Jennifer is on 9-1-1), and while Elle returning as an unsub would make an interesting storyline, it’s clear that Lola has no intentions on returning to CM(based on her IG stories)

seems like Blake, Jordan and possibly Seaver are the only likely candidates that have a better chance of returning as a guest but that depends on the actresses decisions and if the story allows it

Maybe learn from 15x05 since it was the highest rated episode, and has more ratings than the finale. Maybe the writers can learn from this and realized maybe they shouldn’t focus too much on Reid and Reid angst. There’s seven other characters, make the revival focus on all of them 

An update of Reid’s personal life, if he and Max are still together, and no angst

Getting to see the new BAU Jet

More BAU family bonding moments, whether it’s them having drinks, eating dinner together or celebrating something like a Garvez engagement, Rossi’s retirement or Matt’s first book being published

Retaining the opening title sequence. It’s not CM without it

 I know I might get my hopes up for this and be all disappointed if this post was all for nothing. Still, a girl can dream

Tagging: @illegalcerebral, @dreatine, @marvelfanlife, @jaqren, @yeoldespacebuns, @ropoto. Feel free to add anything incase I missed something

[todomitoukei]

English vs. Japanese Mr. Compress (and Dabi) - A 294 Comparison

The past two weeks we have taken a look at the differences between the official English translation and the original Japanese version of Dabi in regards to the newest chapter. This week’s chapter mainly focused on Mr. Compress, so for this comparison, we will look at the two lines Dabi had as well as some of Mr. Compress’ lines and where/how they differ in the two versions.

Did Mr. Compress actually call them a band of egotists or was it another case of lost nuance?

One of the first things that stuck out to me when looking at the Japanese version is that there are six times during this chapter, where Mr. Compress mentions Shigaraki. While in the English translation for this chapter, he either calls him Shigaraki, Tomura, or boss, the Japanese version is pretty consistent.

There is one instance in the chapter, where it just says the Japanese word for boss - namely when he “addresses” Harima in his speech and saying that what Harima couldn’t do, Mr. Compress will “now hand off to my boss”

The Japanese line reads 「俺のボスに任せるよ」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「ボス ; bosu 」-> boss

「に ; ni 」-> to

「任せる ; makaseru 」-> to entrust to another; to rely fully on one’s full strength/great ability to get something done

「よ; yo 」-> sentence ending particle for emphasis

= “I will hand entrust it to my boss.”

Meanwhile, the other five times he mentions Shigaraki it’s always done like here when he says that Shigaraki is the key:

The line reads 「死柄木(ボス)が。。。鍵だ。。。！」

「死柄木 ; shigaraki 」-> Shigaraki

「ボス ; bosu 」-> boss

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「鍵 ; kagi 」-> key

「だ ; da 」-> to be; is

= “Shigaraki is the key.”

You may have noticed, I put bosu in brackets. The reason for that is that the bosu is what the furigana say, even though the Kanji are read as Shigaraki.

As mentioned before, when the furigana differ from how the kanji are actually read, the furigana represent what the character says, whereas the kanji represent what the character actually means. In the case of Mr. Compress, he always says boss when talking about Shigaraki during this chapter, however, except for that one exception, we’re being shown that the meaning behind boss is Shigaraki. It’s interesting because he could just refer to him as boss all the time and we would know that he means Shigaraki, so there isn’t a need to specify the meaning with kanji. To me, this reads as a way to show that while he might use the term boss, Shigaraki he isn’t just his boss. First and foremost, he is Shigaraki, the person.

After first bringing up Shigaraki, Mr. Compress says: 

“Told us to run amok, right?!”

The Japanese line reads「皆揃ってさァ暴れましょうってこったろ！？」

「皆 ; minna 」-> everyone

「揃って ; sorotte 」-> all together

「さァ ; saa 」-> expresses the speaker’s intent to get the listener to (like “come on”)

「暴れましょう ; abaremashou 」-> to act violently; to rage, to be riotous (polite volitional form of 暴れる, abareru)

「って ; tte 」-> you said (casual quoting particle)

「こったろ ; kottaro 」-> (casual form of ことだろう) indicates that the speaker is very emotional

= “You told everyone that we should all be riotous together!”

There are two key points in regards to that part. The first one being that nuance of kottaro. That expression conveys a sense of deep emotion, so for this sentence, it shows us that he isn’t simply recalling that Shigaraki brought them together and wanted them to be violent. Rather, his inner monologue is him being desperate - worried about Shigaraki and trying to remind himself that they are currently in the midst of what they set out to do. But they’re not finished, so this is no time to give up. In a way, it’s a way to remind and motivate himself to keep going despite their current situation.

The other point is the word abaremashou. The “to run amok” phrasing in the official translation is… not that great, in my opinion. The general definition of this is someone that behaves in a violent or uncontrolled way. And yes, in essence, they are being violent. But it’s not exactly uncontrolled. The word “riotous” captures their goals a lot better considering they all have a bigger goal they are trying to reach. It’s not just being violent for the sake of violence, but rioting against a system that has denied them thus far.

Shortly after, we get this line:

“It’s just as our associate Spinner says.”

I’ve briefly talked about this already in a separate post because that word associate bothered me right away when I read the official translation.

The Japanese line reads 「スピナーの仰る通りだまだ何も」

「スピナー ; supinaa 」-> Spinner

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「仰る通り」-> it is as someone says (honorific)

「だ」-> to be; is 

「まだ ; mada 」-> yet

「何も ; nanimo 」-> nothing

= “It’s just as Spinner says; nothing yet.”

Notice how none of those words mean associate? Reading that in the official translation felt so stiff. We know - through various instances - that the League is close. Mr. Compress even later on in this chapter literally says that he loves the League. Associate feels like they are just business partners. I can kind of understand trying to make that capture Mr. Compress’ overall personality, but he literally just doesn’t say that, hence it just feels like another biased translation instead.

Just as a side note, I would also like to mention that this man really mixes the language as he pleases. Like most characters in manga/anime, he generally uses the casual way of speaking and yet he sometimes peppers in polite/honorific words, too? A real entertainer indeed...

Next, we got this line「俺。。。敵連っ。。。合好きだったぜ」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「敵連合 ; viran rengou 」-> League of Villains

「好きだった ; sukidatta」-> loved

「ぜ ; ze 」-> ending particle for emphasis (more casual/ruder version of yo)

= “I really loved the League!”

Yes, even the official translation got this one right. The main difference between the fan translation and the official translation is the “really” which I also included here. Although that word isn’t technically in the Japanese line, the ending particle does emphasize the line and with that, the word “really” captures that emphasis the best in English.

There isn’t much to say about this line other than that it’s nice to have him say this so directly and also how sad it is that he is saying this in the past tense and thus signaling to us that he does not expect himself to survive this.

After this we got the lines that really didn’t sound great in the official translation:

“A collection of warped minds who never bothered prying into each other’s pasts. Just a band of egotists.”

The fan translation on the other hand had told us this line says: “No matter who it was, one’s past never came into question, we were just a group of deviants. This was quite the unruly bunch.”

So which one is more accurate?

The Japanese line says 「誰も過去を詮索したりしなかった。歪んだ奴ばかりで。手前勝手な集まりだった。」

「誰も ; daremo 」-> no one

「過去 ; kako 」-> past (i.e. a personal history one would prefer to remain a secret)

「を」-> direct object marker

「詮索 」-> inquiry into; prying into

「したりしなかった ; sensakushitari shinakatta 」-> very strong never, kind of like “would never do that, no matter what” (attaches to the word that came before)

「歪んだ ; yuganda 」-> warped (past tense of 歪む, yugamu)

「奴 ; yatsu 」-> fellow (derogatory)

「ばかりで ; bakari de」-> only (in regards to the word that came before)

「手前勝手な ; temaegatte na 」-> self-centered; selfish (see explanation below)

「集まり ; atsumari 」-> gathering

「だった ; datta 」-> was

= “No one would ever pry into each other’s personal past. It was a selfish gathering of only warped fellows.”

I’ve seen a lot of people who voiced their dislike towards the use of the word selfish or egotists, when the fan translation was relatively harmless with the term “unruly bunch” and in a way, rightfully so. Yes, I translated it as selfish, too, but it’s a nuance that’s hard to put into a few words.

If you were to look up the word selfish in a dictionary, you would get many results, but temaegatte isn’t the top result. When you directly look up temaegatte you will see that it’s not considered a common word, either. So this word was chosen for a reason.

Temaegatte in itself is a combination of the words 手前 (temae) and 勝手 (katte), both of which have their own separate meanings.

Temae consists of the kanji hand + in front of and means before oneself; in front of one; nearby.

Katte consists of the kanji victory + hand and has two meanings: something convenient; to act in a way that is convenient for oneself, without considering others.

When you combine those two words together, you have a word that refers to behavior that is convenient only for oneself - “nearby convenience” if you want to be literal. This word can get used in the business world in response to being asked to do something when you want to decline. Instead of bluntly saying that you can’t do it, you would essentially apologize for being so selfish as to not accept the person’s request. It’s a soft way to decline something whilst simultaneously acknowledging the other person’s feelings etc. At the same time, the word can also be used when you are the one making a request and you want to apologize for being selfish for doing so.

Temaegatte is an adjective that connects to the word that follows, which is atsumari (gathering) - put together a “selfish gathering” but what does that mean?

Them getting together as the League of Villains was the result of them all having parted from society to put themselves first. They became villains for their own convenience, not necessarily out of selfishness, but rather because they are doing this for themselves, to put themselves first, without considering others. It might sound similar, but selfishness is more defined as being exclusively concerned with oneself. And an egotist is someone who talks too much about themselves or someone who has an exaggerated sense of self. There is a difference between being selfish/ an egotist and putting yourself first. Instead of just following society and suffering because of it, these people have decided to stand up for themselves and fight back against a system that has been against them for their entire lives.

So yes, you can translate it as selfish - but that only scratches the surfaces of what is actually being said.

This chapter felt a lot like Mr. Compress confirming that the League is actually close and caring about one another. Another panel that captures that, happens a little later in the chapter:

The Japanese line says 「解放戦線。。。敵連合の死柄木が」

「解放戦線 ; kaihousensen 」-> Liberation Front

「敵連合 ; viran rengou 」-> League of Villains

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「死柄木 ; shigaraki 」-> Shigaraki

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

= “The Liberation Front’s… League of Villains’ Shigaraki.”

Funnily enough, the official translation did a really good job by translating this as “The Paranormal Liberation Front’s… the League of Villains’ Shigaraki…” -

which highlights it a lot more that Mr. Compress is correcting himself here. Though officially they still are the Paranormal Liberation Front, in their hearts they will always be the League. Interestingly, here, the furigana also say Shigaraki, so this time around he legitimately says Shigaraki instead of boss, which adds another nice, personal touch to the line and describes Shigaraki as a member - much like the rest of them - rather than dividing them by hierarchy. He might be their leader, but at the end of the day, they are all equals, too.

This chapter was definitely really good in showing that very real bond of the League and the fact they genuinely care about each other. Meanwhile, the official translation misses that nuance by just writing them off as egotists and associates, when they are actually a group of outcasts that have found a home with each other.

Before we end this comparison, I just want to quickly mention that short Dabi part of the chapter, too.

Starting with this panel:

which says「ごめん焦凍事情が変わった。」

「ごめん ; gomen 」-> I’m sorry

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「事情 ; jijou 」-> circumstances

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「変わった ; kawatta 」-> changed

= “Sorry Shouto, the circumstances changed.”

And then this panel:

which says「轟炎司がまだ壊れてない上に気絶しちまったらこのショーの意味がないごめんな最高傑作」

「轟炎司 ; todoroki enji 」-> Todoroki Enji

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「まだ ; mada 」-> (not) yet

「壊れてない ; kowaretenai 」-> to not be broken

「上に ; ue ni」-> as well; in addition to; besides

「気絶 ; kizetsu 」-> faint

「しちまったら 」-> combination of しちまった (to happen completely) + たら (when) = when something happened completely (focuses on the results that come from this first part)

「この ; kono 」-> this

「ショー ; shoo」-> show

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「意味 ; imi 」-> meaning

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「ない ; nai 」-> nonexistent

「ごめんな ; gomen na」-> I’m sorry

「最高傑作 ; saikoukessaku 」-> masterpiece

= “When Enji Todoroki is not yet completely broken and has fainted, this show has no meaning. Sorry, masterpiece.”

This isn’t exactly different from the official translation, but it’s once again emphasizing the fact that Dabi doesn’t care about killing Shouto, the person, he only cares about doing whatever it takes to ruin Endeavor. And killing his masterpiece seems like the perfect way to hit right where it hurts. I know there are a lot of people that are upset that Dabi is willing to hurt Shouto, and again I can only repeat myself in saying that there are years of psychological issues that have led some part of Dabi to view the idea of killing his own brother as okay. But it’s also a place he can’t just get out of himself, so instead of just blaming him for being at the point he is right now, we should hope that the story will let him heal.

What’s important is that he doesn’t hold a personal grudge against him. Sure, there might be jealousy involved, yet his reason for considering harming Shouto is purely because of Endeavor. With that, Shouto still stands a chance at somehow being able to get to Dabi and help him - after his arc, of course.

Anyway, to sum this up: I continue remaining hopeful in terms of Dabi and Shouto. The League cares about each other, even if that wasn’t their original reason for getting together. They are now at a point where they are willing to do whatever it takes to ensure each other’s safety. Hopefully, and I cannot stress enough how hopeful we have to be, they will all make it out of there now and not suffer any more deaths in their little group.

[dreamer213]

Broken Machines: Lights The Dark

Chapter 10 Saturday School Kids Can Be Cruel.

Friday night had been pretty fun when Penny finally got home. She had called Pietro earlier in the day to tell him not to make her too much for dinner because she had a big lunch. She managed to keep the petit fours a secret until she got home. When she did get home, she plopped the box down on the table while he had his back turned and shouted “SURPRISE” as he turned around. He was so surprised he almost dropped their dinner, but Penny took the tray off his hands before anything got ruined. That night they had baked potatoes with tiny cakes and tea for dessert. The following morning Penny woke up to a pre-made plate of bacon and eggs, some money, and a note.

“ Morning Penny, They had to call me in for some emergency maintenance on the mech’s cannon again. There’s gonna be a lot to be done so I won’t be back till tomorrow. Be safe while I’m gone; remember to eat and stay charged.”

“Love you Sunshine, Dad.”

Penny: He won’t be home till tomorrow. I’m going to be alone here until tomorrow.

Penny frowns unconsciously; she had rarely been away from her dad since she was stationed. His presence had been her only constant comfort since the tournament; she hadn’t gone a day without him and she had never thought about what would happen if she had to. It’s honestly quite scary to be alone with nothing be her thoughts. Whenever she was, everything felt so small, so quiet, so….. suffocating like a black void pooling around her.

Penny: No one will be here when I get back or when I go to sleep tonight. When it’s dark, it’ll just be, be-

Penny shakes her head, pushing out the worrying thoughts before they get worse.

Penny: Stop. You are fine, you are strong, you are not hopeless, and one night on your own will not hurt you. Just eat your breakfast and go to work.

Penny sits down at the table and quietly eats her now cold breakfast. Once she’s done, she washes her dishes, turns off all the lights, and heads off to her morning patrol. The patrol went well, no robberies or emergencies today, for some reason this didn't make Penny happy, even though it meant she would have less paperwork at the end of the day. Before long, it’s time to help at the training facility. Saturdays and Sundays were always the easiest days of the week at the facility as most academy students rested or went home on weekends, and most hunters took it easy on the weekends too, so besides makeup sessions and a few fitness hobbyists, no one came in. Which meant Penny was never requested on these days. Or so she thought. When she arrived, Penny is told that a team has requested her assistant for their session and was waiting for her in her usual room. This surprised her but Penny did as she was told and headed towards the training room. As she walked, she wondered who could have possibly asked for her on a Saturday afternoon. Could it be Winter? No, she liked to train by herself. Academy students? No, any student who came in on the weekend was to be monitored by a teacher. Could it..Ciel?...No there was no possible way she had asked for her. Penny kept pondering, but no matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t guess who could be waiting for her in that room. She’d just had to go in and see for herself. Once she finally reached the training room, the moment she enters the room, something tackles her! Penny wrests her attacker onto the floor and pins their hands behind their back. She’s about to question them when she feels something touch her back. She grabs it, gripping it tightly in her hands. She looks at it and sees it’s a long fluffy orange tail.

Penny: An orange cat tail? Neon Katt?

Penny looks down and realizes she’s holding down Neon!

Neon: Yeah, it’s me. And if not too much to ask, could you let go of my tail and GET OFF ME!

Penny: Right away. I’m so sorry!

Penny lets her go, and they both get off the floor. Before Penny can ask why Neon tackled her, Neon starts rolling towards the rest of her team. Penny tries to keep up and ask her what’s going on, but Neon wouldn't even look at her. When they finally reach the rest of the team, FNKI Neon hides behind Flynt. Penny gives up on Neon and decides to just wait to ask one of the others.

Penny: Good afternoon Team FNKI.

Flynt: Hey Penny, nice to see you.

Ivori: Afternoon to you too, Ms. Penny.

Kobalt: Sup Penny, hope you got affairs in order cause you’re about to see hell. (chuckles)

Ivori: Koco!

Ivori pops Kobalt in his side with the handle of his whip. Kobalt rubs his side in pain and annoyed.

Kobalt: Ow, the hell Ivy!

Ivori: Could you please not act like a jackass for one minute.

Kobalt: How was I being a jackass? We know what’s about to go down, I was just giving her a heads up!

Ivori: Still, would it kill you to show some tact for once. I mean Is it really so hard for you to-

Penny: Excuse me.

Both young men stop and return their attention to Penny.

Penny: What exactly is going on? I have no idea what is happening and what exactly I’ve done to get this kind of reaction. Could one of you please explain?

Flynt: Yeah, sorry about that. You see what happened was-

Suddenly, Neon pushes Flynt out of the way and gets in Penny’s face. She gets less than an inch away from Penny’s face, looking really upset.

Neon: You didn’t call.

Penny: Excuse me?

Neon continues to stare her down, arms crossed with a big frown on her face.

Neon: You didn’t call me! I gave you my number, asked you to call me, waited two weeks for you to call, but you never did. So rude!

Penny: I am sorry Neon, I have been very busy for the last few weeks and hadn’t thought about our conversation since then.

Neon: Wow, talk about thoughtless. Or am I just that forgettable to you?

Penny: No, I just had over things I needed to give my full attention to at the time. That and I didn’t have anything to talk about.

Neon: Uh, That’s so not true! What about that “secret mission” Ironwood has you working on?

Penny: I’m not supposed to talk about that.

Neon: Yeah, with civilians! You’re supposed to gossip about your crazy missions and stupid paperwork with coworkers, stupid. Sharing wild stories is like the best thing about being a soldier! And besides, this isn’t just an everyday mission; it's one the General himself had to come to your house and get you out of bed for. How could you not wanna talk about that?

Penny: How did you know about that?

Neon: Same way I shoulda heard from you. Now talk! I wanna hear everything!

Penny stares blankly at Neon as she piece together what she just heard. She looked over at the rest of Team FNKI; the three young men were standing awkwardly, embarrassed but unsurprised by Neon’s actions. Finally understanding what’s going on, Penny turns her attention back to Neon.

Penny: So if I’m hearing this correctly, you request this room and my presence with sole purpose of having a recreational conversation?

Neon: Yeah!

Penny: And you do realize that in doing so, you are misappropriating both military equipment and personnel?

With that, Neon’s pout drops, and so does her tail, Flynt facepalms and hangs his head, Ivori does everything he can to avoid making eye contact, and Kobalt’s looking around and whistling, trying his best to play it cool. Penny crosses her arms, unimpressed by their silly plan.

Penny: Team FNKI, please leave this area immediately so that others may use it properly.

Neon: What! Oh come on, no one even comes here on Saturday!

Penny: That is incorrect and irrelevant; this room is for training purposes only, not socializing. If you aren’t going to train then you have to leave. Those are the rules we must follow as soldiers.

Neon: OMG, Are you really doing this right now? Ugh why do you have to be such a narc-

Neon is quickly interrupted by Flynt getting in between the warring redheads.

Flynt: Okay, I’m sensing way too much hostility here, so why don’t we all just take as sec to calm down and come up with some kind of solution.

Neon about to start arguing again but Flynt turns to her and puts a hand on her cheek; he caresses her cheek with his thumb and lightly scratches her jawline with his other fingers. Soon Neon lets out a low purr as she full calms down from her hissy fit.

Flynt: Kitty, I know you just wanna talk, but we gotta follow the rule. So, how about this, you like skating, right?

A now calm Neon simply nods her head as she continues to receive scratches.

Flynt: Then how about you do a little speed test, you race around the room a few times while Penny tracks your speed and you two talk as you go. Me and the boys can stay here and do some stretches while you ladies race and chat. Sound good to you?

Neon: Yeah…Sounds…good.

Flynt: Good.

Still scratching away, Flynt turns his head to Penny.

Flynt: Sound okay to you, Penny?

Penny: Since the activities are forms of training, yes that would be acceptable.

Flynt: Great, thank ya Penny.

Flynt takes his hand off Neon’s cheek onto her shoulder and rolls her towards Penny as he returns to his spot next to Ivori and Kobalt. Penny and Neon walk to the edge of the room near the entrance; once there, the two stand close to the wall, and Neon takes a starting stance. Penny clicks her heels together and starts her rocket boots; they’re on a lower setting to match Neon’s gliding and sets an internal stopwatch. Penny gives a quick glance to the boys, and they were indeed doing stretches as promised, then looks back to Neon. They make eye contact, Noen mouths, “Ready?” and Penny holds up a hand and starts counting down. 5….4……3….2….1.

Both girls dash off at tremendous speeds. They remain neck and neck as they go around the room and soon Neon starts talking again.

Neon: So what’s going on with this secret mission?

Penny: I’m investigating a crime, and I need to go undercover to find the perpetrator.

Neon: Cool, so are they just dropping you in or what?

Penny: No, because of the lifestyle and living situation of the people on the suspect list, I have to receive some training on how to behave and act without seeming suspicious.

Neon: Oh, is it like stealth training?

Penny: Yes and no, I’m taking etiquette lessons so that I may infiltrate Atlas high society.

Neon: Woah, really? Damn that’s like straight out of a spy movie! So who they got teaching you to act all distinguished and junk? I don’t know we had an expert on that stuff just lying around here.

Penny: We don’t, an elite is instructing me as a form of repayment for saving his life at a party.

Neon: Uh ew, you’re getting lessons from some old fart elite. Gross.

Penny: No, he’s actually a teenage boy. And he’s not gross; he’s very clean and friendly.

Neon: A teenager! They seriously gotta another kid teaching you? Way to pay off a life debt.

Penny: It’s actually very nice; Our ages being so close makes our dynamic fairly even, he’s intelligent, easy to talk to, and very kind, and the way he teaches is unique and very fun.

Neon: Ooooh cool. Is he cute?

Penny: He’s…more beautiful than cute.

Neon: Oh yeah? How exactly?

Penny: Well, he’s has a model’s figure, lean, long legs, high shoulders, and excellent posture. You could take a picture of him at any angle, and he’d always look amazing. His face is also gorgeous, pink lips that look nice even in a smirk, high cheekbones, a cute little nose, and his eyes! I’ve never seen a pair so blue and shiny before; they look like a deep sea with the brilliance of a gemstone. And his hair is so soft and neat that it looks like silk and is white as fresh snow.

Penny begins to sway from left to right, hands behind her back and a sweet smile on her face. She’s slowing down and moving further and further away from the wall as they go. Neon slows to match her speed.

Neon: Wow, so he’s grade A in the looks department. What about his personality?

Penny: As I previously stated, he’s very intelligent. He’s also creative and well-spoken I could talk with him for hours if I had the time to. He’s a bit abrasive, not cruel by any means just very direct and confident, and charming and witty (giggle), which is a little funny because his first name starts with Whit. (giggles)

Neon: (giggles) Sounds like you really really like this guy.

Penny: I do. Being around him is just so….wonderful. Sometimes when I’m with him, it feels like it’s just the two of us; I have his full attention, and he has mine. It’s very..cozy and a bit

A slight blush glows on Penny’s cheeks. She turns around and starts flying backwards.

Penny: exhilarating. So much so that sometimes I feel a little dizzy and get this thumping feeling in my chest when he looks at me for too long or says something really nice to me. It’s really-

Penny is intercepted by her accidentally backing into the wall of one of the obstacles. Luckily for her, her aura was active, and she had slowed down so much that the impact was damaging in the slightest. Still hurt a bit though.

Neon: Ooooooh shit.

Neon rushes over to Penny, having been in earshot of the collision come running to see if everything’s okay.

Flynt: I heard a bang. Who got hurt?

Kobalt: 5000 lien says Neon got bored and pushed her off a platform.

Ivori: Koco I swear to every God if you don’t stop I hit you right in the-

Neon: Will you two mouthy douche cakes shut up and actually help!

The two stop their bickering and go to Penny. They try to help her up, but Penny puts her hands up as they try, and they back up to give her some space. Penny turns off her boots, takes a second to regain her balance, and steadies herself fully on the floor. The team begin conversing about what’s just happened.

Ivori: Are you okay, dear? Do you need us to get someone?

Penny: No, thank you, I’m fine. My aura was activated, and it was a slow speed collision, so there was no damage aside from the initial shock of the impact.

Flynt: But why’d you crash?

Penny: I-

Neon: Oh, it was nothing really. Penny just go all wispy talking about this dreamy boy she met.

Penny: W-what? What are you-

Kobalt: Oooh, so that what you two were talking about. A boy.

Neon: Yup, she was so caught up in her gushing that she slammed herself into that wall. (laughs) Can’t say I blame her though, all cute girls go a little brain dead when they think about their crush. I know I did.

Kobalt: And since when did you count as a cute girl?

Neon playful elbows Kobalt in the side, and Kobalt returns the favor while Penny looks on, confused by their words.

Penny: Excuse me, but do you mean by a crush?

Neon: Oh, you know.

Penny: No, I do not know.

Neon: You know it’s when you really like someone.

Penny tilts her head to the side, confused.

Penny: But I like a lot of people.

Neon: Yeah, but a crush is when you really like someone. Like you like like them.

Penny: Like like?

Kobalt: You know, they make you feel all floaty, makes your head all foggy, and gives you butterflies in your tummy.

Penny: How would someone get insects in my stomach?

Neon and Kobalt sigh in unison, frustrated with her lack of knowledge. Meanwhile, Ivori walks up to Penny, dusts off her sleeves, and takes both her hands in his, taking over the situation.

Ivori: Sorry about those two. They have don’t know how to take anything seriously. Now the gist of what they were trying to say is that a crush is when you have some romantic feelings for someone.

Penny: Romantic..feelings?

Ivori: Yes, when you’re with this person, it’s very special. They’re beautiful to you; they make you feel warm and safe and happy. You want to hold them, laugh with them, kiss them, and just be romantic with them.

Penny: But I’ve never wanted to ki-

For a second, the unconscious thought of kissing Whitley plays through Penny’s mind. Suddenly the thumping in her chest returned, and her face started to redden. Penny tries to make the thought go away, but Ivori’s words keep replaying in her head, and memories of Whitley pour in with it. Her face gets redder and redder until she’s at the max amount of flushed her body can be. She tries to speak her mind still jumbled.

Penny: I-I d-don’t have r-romantic fe-feelings for hi-(hiccup)

Penny quickly rips her hands from Ivori and covers her mouth, astonished that she had somehow just said a lie.

Kobalt: The hell was that!

Penny: N-nothing (hiccup)

Neon: Wait a sec, I’ve heard about this. She hiccups when she lies. You lied, you’re totally crushing on this guy, aren’t you?

Penny: No I’m not-(hiccup)

Kobalt: Holy shit, that’s fucking adorable! Do it again! Do it again!

Neon: Penny’s got a crush, Penny’s got a crush.~

Neon chants in a sing-song voice, Kobalt chuckling at her side.

Penny: No, I don't-(hiccup) Stop it!

Neon continues to chant and Kobalt joins in, Penny just covers her face, silently praying for the ground to swallow her up and away from this as they continue heckling her. After a while Ivori decides that enough was enough and gets in the two jokesters faces.

Ivori: Both of you stop that right now! Can’t you see that hurting the poor girl’s feelings!

Neon: Ugh, Lighten up we’re were just kidding around.

Kobalt: Yeah, you’re supposed to tease people when they get a crush. We did the same thing to you.

Ivori: That was different, you don’t make fun of a little girl. Especially one like Penny.

Neon: Oh, come on, if she’s gonna be a soldier, she has to be able to handle some hazing.

Ivori: But you still shouldn’t be prying into her personal life like this.

Flynt: All three of you shouldn’t have been prying at all.

Flynt final chimes in, having stayed silent for far too long.

Flynt: Koco, Kitty cut it out right now; it's not funny. Ivy, you should’ve stayed out of it; you played right into their game and lost. Take your L and walk away.

The three listen and stop arguing, and Flynt turns to Penny. He takes off his shades, gives her a reassuring smile, and pats her shoulder.

Flynt: Penny, I understand you’re vulnerable and awkward right now, that’s normal. If you wanna talk about this, we’ll gladly listen but if not that’s okay too. We won’t push you, and I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable today.

Penny: Thank you Flynt Coal, your apology is accepted.

Flynt: Okay, now if there’s anything you need feel free to-

???: Excuse me.

Everyone stops in their tracks as a familiar voice rings out into the room. They look towards the door to see Winter walking towards them, stern-faced as always.

Winter: Apologies if I’m interrupting your conversation Team FNKI, but your time is almost up, and I need to have a talk with Penny. And since it seems like you have already finished up, I’d like you all to leave.

Flynt: Yes Ma’am, let's go people, time to bounce.

Flynt gives Penny a wave and heads towards the door, followed by Ivori, who gives her a sweet smile, followed by Kobalt, who ruffled her hair, and lastly Neon, who gave her a peace sign as she rolls past. Once they’ve left the room, Winter and Penny are left to converse.

Winter: Penny Polendina.

Penny: Yes, Winter Schnee.

Winter: I understand you have had a change in schedule.

Penny: Yes, I have.

Winter: When you return to your usual schedule, I’d like you to join me on my errand.

Penny: You mean the-

Winter: She’s asked for you, said that your presence was calming. I’ve already spoken to Ironwood, and he’s approved the change. As soon as your investigation is over, you’ll be accompanying me for this task twice a week. Understood.

Penny: Affirmative.

Winter: Excellent, now run along the carrier for the evening shift is leaving soon.

Penny: Yes Ma’am, have a good day.

Penny exists the room, leaving Winter alone to train, soon she’s back in Mantle and headed to the station to fill out her daily reports. It doesn’t take long as it has been a very uneventful day so she finishes in around two hours. From there she walks home, unlocking the door and stepping into the living room, turn on the lights as she enters.

Penny: I’m home-

Penny begins her usual greeting before remembering that she’s alone. Her smile drops and she heads to her room, taking off her boots along the way. She sets her backpack and boots down the flops onto her bed, she looks up at the ceiling, wonders what she should do until it’s time for her to sleep. She pulls out her scroll, hoping to find some entertainment, and notices a text from Neon reading “If you wanna any advice on how to get a date with Atlas boy, text me 😸🌈😉.” She goes red at the memory of teasing she received early and responds with a simple “No thank you.” She decides to go on her Individeo, a video, and streaming platform, app to watch some videos. She pulls up a video on making your own custom guns, she had seen the tile and saved it for another time days ago. As she watches she remembers that she saved this specific video to show her dad because she thought some of the ideas for the weapons could be used to improve some of their own guns. This realization weights on her as all the ideas and facts she wanted to discuss with her dad float around with nowhere to go. Speaking of her dad he wanted her to eat whiles he’s gone.

Now Penny could survive solely off of electricity but thanks to her biofuel converter and new nervous system she could enjoy food and turn it into fuel, making her more eco-friendly. She closes the video app and searches her memory bank for phone numbers for local restaurants that delivered. She forms a long list of options but as she has limited funds and would hate to inconvenience anyone Penny starts disqualifying the higher prices and further away eateries. Soon she narrows it down to a list of three options, a pizza place, a burger place, Ms. Ling’s. From there she evaluates them base on quality, quantity, and service rates. In the end logic and curiosity wins out as Penny picks out the one she never had before, pizza. She calls in for one medium-sized cheese pizza, just to test out the taste, and is told it will take 45 minutes to deliver. She takes this time to wash up and change into her pajamas. When the food does arrive she goes downstairs, pays, and takes her pizza. She sits the box on the table, opens it, and takes out a slice. Penny takes a bite and it’s greasy in a good way, the cheese is nice and stretchy, the tomatoes sauce compliments the cheese, and the crust has a pleasant crunch. But it just doesn’t feel tasty, it tastes good but for some reason, it just doesn't feel the way to supposed to. Penny eats two more slices then puts the rest away in the refrigerator. She goes back upstairs, brushes her teeth, plugs up, and heads to bed early.

She closes her eyes hoping to see her dad’s smiling face when she wakes again.

[whitewolfmoving]

Leather and Lace Part One

My Thoughts On You

Summary: Katt Barnes knows the one thing she never has to apologize for is her place in the world; her father taught her how to be strong, her brother taught her how to be stronger. When her boyfriend, John Walker attempts to decide who she gets to be, it becomes the last straw for their relationship. Not only does it break Katt's trust in him, but in her family and herself as well.

Prompt: "I hate you because I will have to wonder for the rest of my life why I wasn't good enough." || found on pinterest.

Warnings: swearing, arguing, breakup

Word Count: 2354

A/N: PART ONE IS HERE!!!!! Buckle up, shit's about to get real. After so much planning and time spent writing, it's finally here. I hope you like it. This series is a special one. Happy reading!

Spring in Brooklyn arrived quickly for Barnes' Garage; and with everyone preparing to travel during the summer, business picked up soon after that. The shop—owned and operated by the Barnes siblings, James and Katheryn, who took over after their father passed—ran just as smoothly now as it did then. A legacy left behind to his children, the White Wolves Motorcycle Club, George's one and only condition for keeping the family business was that the twins run them both together. So, with a 50/50 split of the shop and the Club between them, ask anyone between the Five Boroughs where the best mechanic was in the whole of New York City and they'd say, "Go see Bucky at Barnes' Garage in Brooklyn. You won't be disappointed." And no one ever was.

—

A light breeze rolled through the shop and ruffled Katt's hair. She stood up from where she'd been leaning over the rear end of a red Porsche 911 Turbo, stretched, and looked around for signs of the other mechanics. She pulled her phone from the back pocket of her shorts and checked the time—11:50 am—still a good ten minutes until they'd all break for lunch. The car had arrived some time around 8 o'clock, Bucky'd been meaning to get to it but he'd been swamped all morning and she figured helping him out was the least she could do. Katt had changed the timing chain, replaced the cover, and changed the oil in no time at all. All that she had left was the complimentary wash and detail before the client came to pick it up at 12:30. Katheryn Barnes was nothing if not quick and efficient.

"Yo, Katt! John's outside looking for ya," Steve called from the car next to her. He chuckled, noticing the ghost of a frown that pulled at the corner of her mouth.

Katt sighed, wishing she hadn't remembered to change the batteries in her hearing aids when she got to work that morning. Luckily, she'd stashed the dead ones in the pockets of her shorts. She quickly leaned back over the Porsche's engine, letting her hair fall down around her shoulders. With the dead battery cell in her fingers, Katt discreetly lifted her hand to the battery door on her left hearing aid and switched out the cells, then tucked the live one in her pocket. She repeated the action with her right hearing aid, and set to work rechecking that the timing cover was in place.

"Hey, Beautiful." A large hand settled gently on the small of Katt's back; she jumped, startled. Two hands then gripped her hips and pulled her from underneath the Porsche's trunk.

Katt turned a wild-eyed glare on the man behind her. She moved her hands quickly, with little regard for the fact that John would have no idea what she was saying to him. What the hell, JW? Are you trying to kill me?

John blinked, confused. He shook his head, unable to understand what Katt was saying. It was no secret around the shop that John Walker was dating James Barnes' twin sister, Katheryn. And it was no secret that Katheryn Barnes was Deaf. However, for some unknown reason, John Walker (more commonly known around the shop by his sign name JW, given by Katt) refused to learn sign.

The scowl on Katt's face grew the longer John stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights. She stomped her foot, frustrated. Why did you sneak up on me?

"I-I'm sorry. I don't…" he shook his head again, pulling his phone from his back pocket. He pulled up the speech-to-text app and quickly dictated a message, then flipped the screen around to show her. Didn't you hear me call out to you? Are you wearing your hearing aids today?

Katt let out an irritated squeal; she hated having this conversation with him. It was always the same damn thing. She glanced around the shop for her brother or Sawyer or Wanda, anyone who could help her get out of the current situation she was in. Luckily, Clint had been walking by and offered to help out.

Problem?

Can you interpret for him?

Sure.

Thank you.

Katt turned her attention back to John and took a deep breath. The expression on her face sobered as she thought of the best way to handle the situation given that they were standing in the middle of the shop; she didn't want to draw any more unnecessary attention to themselves than John already had, not that it would matter. As calmly as possible, Katt explained to her boyfriend what had caused her to startle at his presence.

"I don't want to have this discussion right now but since you're here, we will. Yes, I am wearing my hearing aids today. No, I didn't hear you call for me. That's why I was startled when you suddenly appeared behind me," Clint said, interpreting for John what Katt had signed to him. Already the blond could tell that he'd walked into a conversation he would have loved to hear about later on. No one at the shop approved of John's place in Katt's life; Bucky simply hated him for dating his sister, while Clint and Sawyer hated him for refusing to learn sign.

"If you're wearing them, why didn't you hear me?" John asked.

Katt continued her explanation, going so far as to remind John again that her hearing aids were a tool she chose, not a magical cure. She removed her left hearing aid, pointing out the blinking red light—the dead battery indicator.

Clint smirked. He could see the frustration bleeding through to Katt's signing, no matter how hard she tried to keep it at bay. "Just because I have them, doesn't mean I can hear. I'm still deaf. If you're approaching me from behind, you still have to let me know. You have to get my attention or tell someone around me who can let me know you're coming. My hearing aids are a tool, all they do is amplify what little ambient noise that I can still hear. And just because I want them, doesn't mean I need them. Today, my batteries are dead."

"I know. I know it's not perfect, okay? I'm sorry. Maybe keep spare batteries in your pocket or something. This is hard for me, too. I just want to be able to communicate with you."

Then learn to sign. If you truly want to be able to communicate with me, learn my language.

John frowned again. He could tell by the look on Katt's face that she was upset, but he didn't understand why. He looked at the other man helplessly when he didn't immediately jump to interpret what the young woman had said. "What'd she say?"

Don't ask him, ask me. And don't talk about me like I'm not here. I'm the one talking. He's the interpreter. He's here for you, not me. But Clint's deaf, too, or did you forget that? You don't give him near as much shit as you do me. Why is this such a problem for you?

Clint turned to Katt with a grin. Stirring up trouble was Clint Barton's forte, especially when it came to John Walker. Want me to interpret that?

Please, do.

"Don't ask him, ask me. And don't talk about me like I'm not here. I'm the one talking. He's the interpreter. He's here for you, not me. But Clint's deaf, too, or did you forget that? You don't give him near as much shit as you do me. Why is this such a problem for you?"

"Because I'm not sleeping with Clint, Katheryn!"

Thank you for interpreting. I can take it from here.

No problem. Later, Kitty.

As Clint walked away, Katt removed her right hearing aid and opened the battery door. She threw both of the dead cells on the shop floor, reached into her pocket for the new ones, and replaced them. She waited for the green light to appear on both hearing aids, then returned them to her ears.

Time always seemed to slow down in John's presence; he was always so blind to everything happening around them, but not Katt. No, she could see it all. She often wondered if maybe she were the problem, she tried to pretend she was for the sake of their relationship. Oftentimes, she was stuck pretending to be someone she wasn't to appease John for so long, that she forgot how it felt when they first met… when she thought he was it for her. God, how she hoped he wasn't.

"What did you just say?" Katt kept her gaze level with John's, her voice free of all emotion until she was absolutely certain she understood what he said correctly. She knew that sometimes their emotions got in the way, they didn't always read the situations properly; between the tension and the fighting, things became skewed. She didn't want to leave anything to chance because deep down, she needed him still.

"I'm not sleeping with Clint," he repeated. John stared back at Katt, swallowed down his own frustration and narrowed his gaze.

Katt didn't need to look around the shop to know that everyone had heard John's comment, she didn't need to look over her shoulder to know that her brother was standing behind her, she didn't need to look at the car next to her to know that Steve had focused his attention on John. She could feel everyone's eyes on them the moment he dared to raise his voice, she could feel Bucky's presence the moment the breath left her lungs. The world seemed a lot smaller when she was at the center of it.

She turned as she felt Bucky's hand settle on her back, protecting her the way he always did. She offered him a small smile, her warm brown eyes darkening with the swell of anger rising within her chest.

Want me to handle it?

Thanks but I got this.

Bucky nodded and stepped back, giving Katt room to breathe. He kept his dark blue eyes trained on John Walker's face, committing every detail to memory. Whatever Katt had to say was nothing compared to what he wanted to do to John after all was said and done.

"I'm going to stop you right there and offer a correction: were. You were sleeping with me. Because as of this moment, I'm not your girlfriend anymore. Who the hell do you think you are, John? What gives you the right to tell me how to live my life? It's my life. And you know what? I love being Deaf. I love my culture, my language, my friends. You couldn't even take two seconds to learn how to say please or thank you or yes or no! And I am done accepting that. "

"Now, hold on, Katt. You don't mean—"

"For once in your pathetic life, just shut up, John! Quit talking over me. Quit telling me how I feel or what I mean. You don't know what I mean because you never fucking listen! You don't get to tell me how to be Deaf; I decide that." Katt's anger bubbled. She took a step toward the man in front of her, only to be pulled back by Bucky's left hand on her upper arm. She shot him a glare at his unwelcome intervention; he only gestured forward for her to keep going.

Go on.

Katt returned her fiery scowl back on John's face. For a moment, she knew all she could think about was the bright blue of his eyes… how she'd fallen for them so easily, the realization hit her like a truck and she felt it deep inside her soul—she still needed him. "You know, I hate you. Because I will have to wonder for the rest of my life why I wasn't good enough. And that really fucking sucks. Go home, John. We're done."

—

The rest of the day flew by without incident.

After Katt left, Bucky and Steve escorted a humiliated John Walker from the premises with a promise to rearrange his face if he ever showed up looking for Katt again. Clint and Sawyer worked together to finish up the Porsche's complimentary wash and detailing in time to be picked up by its owner, and a hefty tip was left in the office for the mechanic who'd treated his prized possession with such tender love and care. They closed shop at 4 pm on the dot.

Sawyer sat in the office counting the cash drawer so she could make her last run to the bank when Bucky stopped in. The air around the usually calm, smooth-talking mechanic had been thick with tension ever since Katt's showdown with John Walker that morning.

How's your arm today?

Fine.

Sawyer knew Bucky's thoughts had been occupied with his sister from the moment the roar of her motorcycle could be felt throughout the garage; she'd sped off without looking back, without letting anyone know where she was headed. No one blamed Bucky for worrying.

She'll be fine, Buck. She always is.

I know, S. But you didn't see her face when she left. I sent Pietro out to look for her, he said he'll call when he finds her. It feels different this time. She… Bucky trailed off, dropping his hands to his lap. He took a seat in the office chair at his late father's desk. The faces in the photo behind the glass frame stared up at him; the last photo the three of them ever took together. The day Bucky and Katt patched into the MC. The smile on George's face said it all; nothing meant more to that man than family.

Sawyer lightly tapped Bucky's knee. She what, Bucky? What's wrong?

Bucky ran his thumb over the silhouette of his sister in the photo and looked up to meet Sawyer's eyes. She was completely broken. I don't think Katt knows who she is right now. I don't even know who she is right now and that's what scares me.

[ladyfiresfanfiction]

Flying the Nest; One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest Fic- Chapter Two.

Sorry I am late, guys and girls! I completely forgot that Sunday had been Easter, so it was a busy day with family. This is a bit longer than chapter one and has a bit more of a backstory on Janie. I’m also trying something new to include the reader in my story, too! Let me know what you think of this idea and the second chapter. I’ll be staring the next chapter tomorrow! Enjoy :)

I don't remember speaking this much since I received the call that Charles Bogney had been found in his family's guest room, hanging from his belt behind the closet door. His mother found him, a bottle of Percodan underneath him, what little was left strewn below his feet on the wood flooring, an empty bottle of 40-ounce Belgian imported beer shattered on the ground from when he dropped it as he lost consciousness and passed away, alone and in misery. Our mutual friend, another toxic ex-boyfriend of mine whose name was Bryan Harris, had to be the one to call me. I had been trying to get into contact with Charles for the last few weeks of his short life. I felt something was wrong. Deep inside I knew if I didn't get a hold of Charley, he would die prematurely. Unfortunately, my gut feeling and seemingly spot on premonition had come to fruition. The first few weeks after Charles had died, I blacked it out. I remember feeling as if the world stopped and froze as Bryan had stammered the news of Charles's death. My heart skipped a few beats and my vision started to become blurry. I dropped to my knees, the phone on the ground as I let out guttural cries of pain that escaped my lips and waves of tears burned my eyes like acid. I cried inconsolably for the first 96 hours of Charles leaving the planet. I couldn't make the trip to his native state of California for his funeral, and I refused calls and visitors for much of the first month of his passing. My only nutrition became opium, cocaine, amphetamines, and alcohol. My family treated me as if I was a lepper, never understanding I had lost the great love of my life, despite the toxic and harrowing past we shared.

 Mac listened intently as he showed me around the grounds. The outside, where the patients (which we coined them the lovable nuts) could come out for fresh air and sunshine for an allotted amount of time per day was fenced in, but it was a spacious and breathtaking piece of land. Large trees that covered most of the land, little trails for patients to walk with supervising orderlies or nurses, tables for patients and the staff alike to enjoy a little solitude during the day. It even had a fairly big basketball court and exercise areas near the shockingly high chainlink fence, which was adorned with razor wire to dismay any patient who thought of running away from the hospital. Overall, it looked like paradise for someone who enjoyed being a prisoner. Mac talked of hearing about the patients going on some field trip, however, it would be just for the boys. The girls had had their own trip last week. As we stopped at the entrance of the second-floor corridor in front of a massive pair of white double doors, Mac turned to me and looked broken. He cleared his throat, forcing me to pay attention and face him.

 "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you with Harry and Ethel. You probably wouldn't be as bad off if I just would have taken you with me. You were just a little girl, though. And I was an irresponsible and young angsty teenager. I thought maybe they would have taken better care of you than they did me. I'm so sorry Jane. I have done horrible things but nothing has given me more pride and made me want to be a better man than having you as my kid sister. You'll never have to be alone again." Mac spoke in a low yet sincere voice.

 "It wasn't your job to parent me. You were eighteen when you struck out on your own, and I was only nine. They were so awful to you. You had to get out before they drove you certifiable. Charles brought me here for a reason. I feel it. I'm just glad to have my big brother back. We're going to make this place ours, Mackie. Then when we get out, we can start lives worth living." I said, patting his shoulder.

 "If you need me, even if it's at night, I'll come find you. There are phones in here, all you have to do is call and ask for me. I'll be here in a jiffy. I'll see you during our counseling session with Ratched and the crew tomorrow. Get some rest, Baby Jane."

 As soon as I walked in, I was brought to intake. My medical history was repeated, I was weighed, my temperature taken, asked a slew of questions, and then I was given an ugly patient garb to wear. As I was taken to the room I would be sleeping in, I saw that in each room there was a telephone with a pamphlet that had numbers to the nurse's station as well as the number for Spivey's office and the number for the nurse's station on the men's floor. Each room on the ladie's floor had three beds for three patients per room, a chair and desk, and a nice comfy-looking Cloth chair with a desk on one side and in the far right corner a bookcase filled with books to read. I would have been far more comfortale to be in a solitary room, or shared a room with my brother and his roommates, but it was against the hospital's policy for men and women to be roommates. I sighed, taking in a breath of courage, and went straight to bed, avoiding the two people I would be bunking with until I had the energy to introduce myself. In fullfledged withdrawal from opiates and alcohol I was  writhing in pain already after only 14 hours without a hit and a drink and I was so sleep deprived. I felt dead on my feet. I threw my haggard body on my bed and soon enough, sleep overpowered me.

 The comfort of unconsciousness would not last for long, though.

 The Ladies ward had come alive with an ear piercing scream in the dead of night. It was only a quarter past one a.m. when animalistic cries and screams of "Charley! Please! No!" had caused an overnight nurse, the security guard, and an on call doctor, and every patient on the ward to jolt awake in sheer terror. After several unsuccessful attempts at shaking my writhing body awake, a slight slap to my cheeks jostled me and my eyes widened as I jolted upright in bed, taking in gulp fulls of oxygen as if I had been strangled. I shrink back as I see a roommate of mine looking worried and sitting gingerly on the edge of my bed.

 "Are you okay?" You ask.

"I-I-I'm fine. I-I'm so-sorry. I... I have night terrors.." I stammered, trying to explain my problem.

"I have them, too. Don't be sorry. My name is (y/n), but everybody calls me (y/n/n), what is your name?" You asked.

"It's ni-ice to meet you, (y/n). My name is Janie McMurphy."

 Before we could get to know each other further, three staff members burst into the room with a mix of alarm and annoyance etched into their faces. Turkle, the nighttime guard of the hospital joined a nighttime nurse  whose name I had already forgotten, along with Spivey's nighttime replacement, Doctor Stuart. Another body scrambled in not too long after, a flustered and scared Mac. I buried my reddening face in my hands as four voices bombarded me with questions I was too tired and ultimately too annoyed to deal with.

 "Sweetheart, what happened?" Turkle asked. "You have a set of lungs on you, don'tcha?"

"Do I need to call Doctor Spivey for you, Miss McMurphy?" Doctor Stuart asked.

"I'm going to get you a diazepam pill, Miss McMurphy. It's all okay, I promise. Mister McMurphy, we'll give you five minutes then you need to go back to your own bed on the bottom floor." The nurse said, winking at Mac.

 "She had a night terror, Mister Turkle," (y/n) began. "It's okay, I got her up. Could I have one too, Nurse Katt? I can't fall asleep tonight." they asked.

"Sure. I'll be right back. Doctor Stuart will be sure to write this occurrence in a note for Nurse Ratched and Doctor Spivey and you can see them both tomorrow morning. Five minutes, Mac." Nurse Katt added as she, Turkle, and Stuart left the room.

 (Y/N) shyly smiled at Mac when they made their way back to their bed, turning on their side to face the wall to give the two of us some form of privacy. I was hugging my knees to my chest in the bed, avoiding Mac's eyes. He let out an audible sigh and sat beside me, placing a comforting arm around my shoulders. I trembled, trying to keep my eyes from overflowing with tears and took in a shaky breath, resting my head on my brother’s shoulder. We didn't talk; we sat in silence until I faced him.

 "I'm sorry you came up here, Mac, but I'm fine." I said.

“The nurse called me as soon as she heard your first scream. I came as soon as I could. Why are you sorry?” He asked softly.

“I’m sorry for a lot of things, but mostly for waking you up, brother. I just can’t control these fucking night terrors.” I replied, scrunching my eyes shut as more tears threatened to brim over.

"How long have these damn things been happening?" He asked, looking down at me.

"For almost two years... Since Charles killed himself." I replied, quietly.

"Meet me in my room around seven o'clock, ok? We'll have breakfast together and head to therapy together. It's going to be okay, Jane. Thank you, (Y/N), for helping my sister, sweetheart. I appreciate it." Mac smiled as he stood up and ventured back to his own floor.

 The next morning I awoke before my two roommates, one being (Y/N) who stayed up with me until the diazepam knocked us into another universe, and another patient around our age named Elise who had slept through the night terror debacle.  (Y/N) said that Elise was used to their night terrors and usually saved a few barbiturates so nothing would disturb her at night.

I made my way to the first floor, skulking into the first room on the right, which Mac said would be the room he shared with “one giant motherfucker named Chief, but he’s harmless so don’t be scared.” I felt uncomfortable in my new uniform, or prisoner’s gear as I called it. As I looked around and made my way through the large corridor and found Mac laughing with a rather large Native man, I nearly ran right into someone.

“Oh! God, I am s-“ I began, finally taking in who I nearly ran right through.

“I-I-Its n-no problem, Muh-muh-Miss.” A very red Billy Bibbit replied.

“No, really, Billy, I am very sorry. I was looking for my brother and just wasn’t watching where I was going.” I smiled, looking away shyly.

“M-M-Mac  is-is-is ri-ri-ri-right in there, Miss.” He smiled, pointing to the door behind me.

“Call me Janie.” I said, finally looking at him and finding myself entranced by his big blue eyes.

“Okay… J-Ja-Ja-Jaaanie.” He smiled back, forcing my name out through stutters that flustered him.

“Did you, uh, wanna have breakfast with Mac and me?” I asked.

“O-Oh, I’d like to, b-b-b-b-but  I have my morn-ning appointment wi-ith Doctor Sp-Spivey now. Raincheck?” He asked, hopefully.

“Of course. I’ll see you around, Billy.” I smiled, watching as he walked away.

“My dear, dear sister,” Mac began, smirking devilishly as he stood in the doorway of his room.

“I do believe you would eat that boy alive if you two became an item. Come on in, there’s somebody I want you to meet.”

 I walked into Mac’s small room and saw the man he was speaking with earlier, getting his shirt on. He nodded at me and I waved. I looked around their room and was surprised at how gloomy and small it was. The ladies had larger rooms with picture windows and furniture. However, the men’s room only held two beds and a kind of chain fence separating rooms with the other men in the ward. Their one large window in the room was locked down tight and had bars on it so the patients had no way of escaping, even if they managed to open their window. I watched Mac talk quietly with the man he called Chief, leaving me standing there awkwardly. Over an intercom it was announced that it was time for medication and all patients needed to walk single-file to the medication window. I walked out with Mac and Chief and found that the women in the hospital were standing in a line next to the men, and I stood with Elise and (Y/N).  

“Remember, Janie, breakfast after this. We’ll go to the cafeteria; there’s a small window table we can eat at.” Mac whispered, and I nodded.

Billy and I stood in line side-by-side, and every time I looked over, I caught him staring at me, which made him turn scarlet. I felt self-conscious, wondering if I looked too fat in this uniform, or if my hair was a rat’s nest, or if there was something wrong with me. Mac was utterly amused and mouthed “Billy has a crush on you” to me, but I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He was just being nice, or so I thought.                                                                                   

The doctor put me on diazepam at night in hopes of ending my night terrors, and in the day time had me on a cocktail of medication. Something for my debilitating anxiety, two different medications that were supposed to work together for depression, something for my PTSD and flashbacks, and a mood stabilizer. Within ten minutes I was at the table with Mac, and he was telling me how he ended up here, a girl had lied about her age and her parents found them having sex. She lied that he raped her and her parents pressed charges and that while he was innocent, he figured he would never beat the case so he came here as a last ditch effort  to avoid spending a third of his life in prison. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but I nodded. I believed my brother and I loved him. He had a knack for choosing the wrong girls as I had a knack for choosing the wrong guys.

Several of his new friends sat with us; Taber, who I noticed liked to scream a lot, a pompous and annoyingly whiny man named Harding, a smart and friendly older man named Cheswick, and a little guy who didn’t talk much but was always smiling, whose name was Martini. Chief was minding his own business and standing in the far left corner of the cafeteria, near the exit and watching everyone. He liked to make the staff think he was deaf, mute, and dumb. Once Mac found out that in fact, Chief could not only talk and hear but he was as sharp as a tack, he laughed heartily and gave the Native man a high five, impressed with his trickery and his way of staying sane in this insane place.

“Hey, Billy boy! Can ya show my sister the good Doc’s office? She kinda forgot where it was and I’m still eating this slop here. I’d owe ya one.” He said, winking at me.

Billy had stopped by the table as he had finished his meeting with the doctor to let me know Doctor Spivey was looking for me. He tried to avoid my gaze but caught several glimpses of my blue-green eyes before bashfully turning his head away. I nodded and stood up as Mac grabbed my wrist.

“U-u-Uh, su-sure, M-M-Mac. Come on, Ja-Ja-Janie.” Billy replied, holding out his hand to me.

“Thanks, Billy.” I muttered, glaring at Mac who feigned innocence.

 We didn’t speak much on the way to the Doctor’s office. I felt lost in a sea of fog since this was my first day taking the new medication, and Billy seemed pensive along with being super nervous. As we made it to the office, we stood outside there, not speaking nor looking at each other right away.

“Will you be at th-th-the therapy session today, Janie?” He asked, looking at me this time.

“I sure will. Ratched knows what happened last night and I guess wants me to talk about it today.” I replied, feeling nauseous at the thought.

“Don-don-don’t worry. She ca-can be mean, b-b-b-but deep down she’s a n-n-n-nice lady. She’s friends w-with my m-m-mother, so I’ve known her mo-most of my l-l-life. I’ll be there for y-y-you if things get hard. I promise.” He explained.

This time I looked at him. Really looking and overcome with a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time; safety. I barely knew this cute boy but he, along with my brother, were ready to protect me and get involved in my messy life. I wanted to cry and I wanted to hug Billy, but I didn’t know how he would take that just yet. I smiled and thanked him, finally letting go of his hand before watching him walk away. He had a sweet smile plastered on his lips, his eyes lit up as we said our goodbyes. His soft brown curls bouncing as he jogged back to the cafeteria. I slid down the wall and sat there, trying to gain my composure before recounting what I dealt with last night. The door opened after five minutes and I looked up to see the doctor himself extend a hand and help me to my feet.

“Ah, there you are, Miss McMurphy. Let’s get to the bottom of these night terrors, shall we?”

[margridarnauds]

dvd commentary 1: [ she wraps the rough, woolen cloak tighter around herself, the rough, warm fabric scratching her arms. It is an old thing, not the sort of thing fitting the station of the ollam of the High King of Ireland, no stripes of gold or silver on it, no ornamentation, a plain brooch of faded bronze at her breast pinning it into place. She has washed the paint from her face, wearing a plain léine taken from a beggar woman in exchange for her necklace, anything that could distinguish her wiped away like a line drawn in the sand, but still she served for many years as Flann’s mouth throughout the land, and no doubt she would be an easy target. ] - Glasmartrae

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT MY CHILD.

I feel like a lot of my work on Glasmartrae was really trying to reconcile my world, the world of the manuscripts, with the wacky world of Valhalla. And, to do that, I thought it was really important to establish, off the bat, what this world looks like. And I felt like, fittingly, one of the best places to begin would be Ciara herself, because an ollam was so important to a king, and because that bond was so important.

I knew, going in, that any potential AC fans wouldn't quite understand the importance, so it was important to establish that Ciara is of MASSIVELY high status. A bard isn't just a figure who goes around and sings twee songs, this is a figure of power, someone who can raise or destroy kings with a satire, and, if you listen to Keating, who was a 17th century Irish historian, there was actually a sort of sumptuary code in place:

Am I absolutely convinced that this is REAL? Not entirely, but Keating had access to a lot of old sources we don't, and even if it isn't strictly true, it's definitely true that who you were in the world of medieval Ireland, like anywhere else, determined how you're dressed. Contrary to images of medieval Ireland as this sort of savage, underdeveloped backwater, you're really looking at this world that's chaotic, undeniably, that's dangerous, but that is also lavish and luxurious, and Ciara's normally at the top of that.

......which is also why I chose to strip her of that. Because Ciara, in-game, stands out like a sore thumb, and, when I thought of it, it was like "Of course she has to go in disguise -- Because even if no one knows exactly what happened, it'd be like if, say Kamala Harris suddenly went into exile." Like, she's constantly at Flann's side before this, she's one of the highest ranked members of his court, she officiates at his coronation ceremony...even without the same level of social media that we'd have today, of COURSE people would recognize her, so it was really important to show her sort of fall from grace (though, from a medieval Irish standpoint, it's less a fall from grace than one more aspect of her penance -- Removing the vestiges of her old life to move on.) I had this idea of her kind of running around, taking everything off, wanting to be done with it, because everything's a reminder, and everything is actively endangering her. (Bit of a medieval Irish Elsa moment.) There's this sort of tension that I wanted to introduce really early on, that idea that she's constantly looking around, scanning the crowd, waiting for the ball to drop because, even though she's sworn to not do any harm, she's still only recently faced down a future where her people were nearly killed, and she herself is in this place of "I can't just walk away."

...but then that brings the question "How do you get this? Did she just have a Poor Person Costume lying around?" And my obvious answer was "No, she had to get it from somewhere", and so I brought that in, which also gave me the chance to get rid of her necklace, which would also be a distinguishing feature. (I kind of had the thought, when writing it, that the necklace had been something that either Flann or her mother had gotten for her, which further seals that idea of her cutting ties to the past.)

I feel like a really big...ongoing theme of my stuff is always the people who are close to power and, specifically, what happens to people when that power goes away for whatever reason. Because, throughout history, you have these people (especially women) who attach themselves to royalty and then, for whatever reason, fall out of power. Margrid is probably the most obvious example, with her relationship with Orléans -- Lazare and Olympe are another example, I touched on it with both Marie-Anne de Benoit and Madame Roland, I feel like Blodeuedd fits in there, Rhiannon (from one WIP of mine), Jane Seymour (if I ever finish my one-shot) etc. You know, you're launched into this absolutely obscene level of influence, power, and rank, but then suddenly you don't have that anymore, and you're left wondering what to do. The same thing that got her that position is suddenly endangering her, and she doesn't really have anyone that she can rely on or that she trusts -- Not because no one cares (Eivor and Deirdre would have helped in a heartbeat), but because she feels so guilty over the entire thing that there's no one she can trust.

And then she runs into Flann like this, at this liminal space where just about anything can happen (an ongoing Thing with my stuff on medieval Ireland is the sea and water in general, because it's where SO MUCH happens in the myths, it's one of those places where Otherworldly stuff is very prone to happening), and he recognizes her like that. You know, there's something of a chivalric romance in it, to him recognizing her even now, even though he ultimately can't be what she needs. He still KNOWS her, and she still KNOWS him, and that's part of that tragedy -- That you have these two people who worked that closely together, who still can recognize one another in a crowd, without their rank behind them, but who CAN'T know one another now.

(I deliberately left it ambiguous to whether he could ever have been what she wanted, which, to be honest, I go back and forth on myself, because that's almost secondary to anything else. You know, with, say, Orléans and Margrid, my thinking was always very much "In another life, they'd have been happy", likewise for Peyronan and Bres/Sreng. And there are a lot of tragic ships that got to be together that's like "They had a thing, but it couldn't work due to who they were" -- Cú Chulainn and Ferdiad and Fritz/Katte, where, even if one of them hadn't died, I never wrote it to be a lasting thing. With Flann/Ciara, on the other hand.....they never got to be ANYTHING, and Flann will never know if they could have been anything, because he fucked it up. And I’m not sure that Ciara herself knows, because anything she MIGHT have felt is so totally drowned out by the betrayal. Though a part of me, chalk it up to the romantic in me, thinks that, sometime, in the future, before they both die, they see one another again. Maybe not in a fully romantic way, but in a way that gives them some closure.)

[iggy-of-fans]

Of Being a Ladybug 12

Previous   Master Post

Okay, NOTES! Please read! Now, I don’t think I ever went into detail about DC timelines or ages… Damien is a year older than Marinette (putting him at 15 years old right now, the average age for the Robin to take over a leadership position), Making Tim 22 and Stephanie 21 (unless anyone can tell me where the hell I can find her actual age in comparison to the others), Jason is 24, Richard is about to turn 30. Cassandra Cain is 24, and Barbara Gordon died in the Joker attack (I have plans).

So in the hands of good we have the (dormant) Turtle, Juleka as the fox (Ruse), Luka as Vipereon, Chloe as Vespa and Kagami as Ryouko. Marlene Seely (my OC) has taken on the Ladybug Mantle and is known as Kaefer.

Loose on the world at large: The Mouse Miraculous (Thief in India), The Horse Miraculous (human trafficker in Germany), The Black Cat (causing destruction at random in Paris), The Butterfly (also in Paris), Monkey Miraculous (in Jump City, causing all weapons but Death Stroke’s to fail), Peacock Miraculous (dormant).

SEND ME ASKS!!!!

The cons of missing jewelry

*!!*

Alya walked into her school for the last week before winter break. Mandatory counselling, restricted internet and computer use, controlled and regulated interaction with friends, bi-weekly community-service… Alya was happy to be preparing for Lycée the following year. Francois-Dupont had agreed to wipe clean their records for a full year of good behaviour, but they had to adhere to a very strict regime put into place by their new principle, a Monsieur Asselah. French-Muslim born, Bilal Asselah came to the school at the beginning of this year and had come down on the student body for their descending grades and lack of emotional control. He enforced counselling and even therapy sessions on all students. He enforced anti-bullying rules. He enforced equality among the students and equal treatment to all. Monsieur Asselah was also very quiet, hard to anger, and polite. Alya liked him, for all that she wasn’t allowed to speak with her old group of friends anymore. She also knew (from counselling) that she was one of the few still having a hard time moving on. Alya was stuck in the past, but hopefully moving to Lycée will help her think of the bigger picture.

“Yeah, Luka really missed her. He hasn’t picked that guitar up since she left. He was gone way longer than he was supposed to but being with Marinette was more important to him…” Alya stopped dead in her tracks. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Juleka walking next to an unfamiliar girl with brown hair. The girl nodded.

“So weird. I didn’t know him before, but seeing how relaxed he was? I bet you they start dating soon!”

“I don’t know… Luka always had a thing for her, but Marinette always… I don’t know…”

Alya was struck. How long had it been since she thought about Marinette? She tried not to, really, because thinking about Marinette meant thinking about Ladybug and the new fox hero (that still gave her a twinge in her chest, that still made her eyes sting with frustration) and Alya didn’t have much time to focus on the things she couldn’t fix. A part of her, a small part, recognized that had Alya simply listened to Marinette, had she trusted her best friend, Alya wouldn’t be in as much trouble now. Marinette hadn’t tried to find Alya to bestow the fox miraculous to. She hadn’t said goodbye. Or tried to send a single letter to her. Alya hadn’t thought much of Marinette in the past year. But it sure hurt to hear Juleka and some random stranger knew where she was and Alya didn’t.

‘Hello Loner… I am Mourning Cloak. You and I, we both lost someone precious. Let’s wreak some havoc and see if they won’t come back…’

“Yes, Mourning Cloak.”

_ - _

Adrien sat forward as he watched the News in Paris. Another random Akuma with no actual direction. Another sighting of Svart Katt, fighting against the Parisian heroes and causing destruction for fun. Adrien frowned. How… How could Plagg let Wilhelm use him like this? How could Wilhelm think this was what he’d wanted? The TV went blank and Adrien almost screamed.

“You shouldn’t be watching those things. You’re away from there now” his aunt Amelie walked further into the room, putting the remote down on a shelf as she walked. Adrien had never told them that he had been Chat Noir, which is how he was acquitted. Only that he had never known anything was amiss. His aunt and cousin did their best to shield him from the masses, from the news, and from the situation in Paris. But they couldn’t hide everything, and Adrien knew that his father had tried to get in contact multiple times since the first sighting of Svart.  

“You don’t understand Aunty…”

“No! Enough! Adrien, you need to live in the now! And right now, you are in London, not Paris. Now, get ready, we’re meeting with the Johnson & Johnson agents” and with that she walked out of the room.

Adrien sighed. How had he messed up so badly?

< ( ^ ^ ) >

Batman walked the halls of the Justice Tower with quiet steps and clenched fists. This was his first meeting with them since taking Marinette in. Marinette had a dancing lesson that night.

“Batman, you finally made it!” Flash called from the left.

“… my daughter needed me…” he was usually the last person to volunteer personal information but seeing Diana flinch in her seat was well worth it.

“How is Maria?” Diana asked gently as he took his seat.

He didn’t answer. Instead he turned he gaze to Superman, telling the room to shut up and listen. As Superman went on to give reports about recent problems around the world, caused by the accursed Miraculous Jewelry, Batman sat in his seat, impassive. In his head he kept a constant monologue of “Do not Kill. Do not Attack. Do not Shout. Do not, Do not, Do not…”

When the meeting concluded, Batman made to make a quick exit. He couldn’t be around them. Not right now, when he felt like he might actually attack them, whether verbally or physically.

‘Marinette need you to pick her up from dance. Marinette needs you to help her with her physics homework. Marinette needs help in filling out her University application.’

“Bruce! Please, how is Maria?” Diana had followed his brisk exit.

“Who is Maria?” he asked instead. If he sounded like he normally did when fighting Joker, well…

Diana stepped back. “Maria, my -- ”

“Your Nothing! Her name is Marinette! Marinette Wayne, and she is alive and growing and coming out of her shell, not thanks to anything you did! How… How could you have possibly thought anything you did to her was acceptable?! How would shaving her hair and telling her to basically kill herself help her?!” Bruce couldn’t hold back his fury anymore. He shoved his cowl off his head and glared at her as he stepped into her space. “You had one job, Diana. To protect her. You failed.”

He turned on his heel and slammed the elevator button to get the hell away from this place. He would tell Alfred to take over meetings until it became relevant to him. Otherwise, he was going to avoid this place like the plague.

^ ^ ^ ^

In Arkham, a maniac laugh could be heard through out the halls. Freedom!

TAG LIST IS FULL!!!

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[sugakookielix]

Can I get a ship, please? I'm an INFP, sun cancer, rly short, and kinda curvy with pale skin. I'm a quiet person, but also playful and curious, and I love animals & nature (used to be a horse girl, and I'm def not afraid to get dirt under my nails). I'm described as sweet, caring, compassionate, but can also be a savage if you hurt my loved ones. Music is my favourite language, and I appreciate all forms of art. I usually dress in comfy clothes I can run around in, and I love documentaries

Gifs are not mine!

Who I ship you with

Your personalities balance out well with a mix of quiet and playful/curious. You both love art, music, and animals which gives you a lot to bond over. He’s mentioned before about being a farmer so a part of him would enjoy being with someone who doesn’t mind animals or the outdoors. Your love of art is definitely what appeals to him most though, since he is a very artistic person himself. 

His favorite things about you: Your personality, your love of animals

First date: Something in the outdoors for sure. You guys could go for a walk in the park or maybe horseback riding together

Your nicknames: Tiny, cutie, babe, love

His nicknames: Tae, puppy, TaeTae

What he gets you for you anniversary: tickets to see your favorite performer

What you get him: New art supplies

Hope you like it! Requests for ships are currently closed!

AN: So I have been away for a bit due to personal issues. My goal is to finish all requests that have been in my inbox, in which I will open requests and commissions again. However, due to the popularity of ships and the fact that I have less time now due to college, I have made the decision to reformat ships and remove the mini scenarios. You x member scenarios are now their own request for when ships open and will not be attached to regular ships. This is so I can fill the demand for ships, but also because I was not satisfied with the scenarios. It felt like I kept repeating the same ones for different ships and that was not fair to everyone requesting. Hopefully you all can understand 

~Katt

[yellowninjaleopard]

Autumn winds chapter eleven: hazel eyes.

The boat came to a stop, autumn woke, rubbing her eyes. [*Guys wake up, were back, cmon, let's go get frisk.] Autumn and the others stepped out of the boat and made their way to the prison, suddenly, something ran into autumn and knocked her down. Autumn looked up and saw frisk, then she saw the king, queen and asriel behind them. "Autumn! Guys!" Said frisk as she hugged autumn, autumn hugged her back, she snuggled into Frisk's shoulder, then let go. The others then joined the hug, laughing and dog piling, the three royals were stunned to see so many human children in the underground, especially since they were supposed to be dead. The group then stood up together, spotting the monsters. Autumn looked wide eyed [*welp, we're jumped.] Frisk then got infront of the group and faced the monsters. "Wait! Their nice, they're my friends, they came to help me" the queen then smiled, and said "hello little ones, would you like to follow us? Don't worry, we will take good care of you" the group looked at each other, before nodding. Soon the group is sitting around the table with queen Toriel, king asgore and Prince asriel, autumn is sitting next to frisk. [*As soon as i heard frisk was missing, i jumped down here after her, i plan to get everyone back home, frisk is gonna come live with me, i was...Real sad to hear about her mom's, they were good people, that's hardly common anymore..] the queen nodded understanding. Frisk then said "autumns my best friend, even if i haven't seen her in three years, she couldn't have picked a better time to come home, I've really missed her..I hope we can get home soon.." asriel then said "don't worry, it might be hard, but we'll find a way. I promise." Autumn relaxed a bit. The conversation went on to who could make the best hot chocolate, autumn laughed [*you guys remind me of my dad and mom arguing over who gets to put me on their shoulder, don't worry, it's not bad, unless they decide to share, then it's nooooopa! Sorry pal! No doc for me today!] Frisk then laughed, she then explained to the dreamurrs that it was a joke about cutting someone down the middle to have her on both their shoulders. They all then laughed. Then noticed frisk freeze, she looked where frisk was looking, spotting chara. [*Hey! Creeper peeper! Wazaap dude?] Chara was shocked to see another human, none the less every other human he had killed. Toriel then looked and said "oh chara, we didn't mean to wake you!" The other kids then looked at chara, he then noticed their eyes were different, without their souls their eyes were grey.

after a bit of talking, Toriel then said "why don't you formally introduce yourselves, I'm sure you all must have gotten on the wrong end." Autumn took Frisk's hand, and smiled. She held out her hand and looked back at the others​, nodding in reassurance, she looked back at chara, held out her hand for a fist bump and smiled best she could. [*What's up dude? name's autumn, but my friends call me Tami sometimes, this is my bestest friend, her name is Francis, but we call her frisk. And that's bandy, irro, nona, Katt, Jodie, wimsum and penny, hope we can be buddies! How 'bout a Buddy-fist dude!] Chara doesn't accept autumn's fist bump, autumn then turns to frisk with a silly face [*guess he ain't a true bro, bro.] "Pfft, shut up dude!" frisk laughs, playfully digs her in the shoulder and gives her a fist bump leading to their secret handshake, and a thumbs up to chara, the others smile, autumn then tugs her new shirt, then looked at chara, still trying to be friendly [*hey look chara "underground, pride of Weinies"] autumn turns to the others [*I'm proud o'my underground Weinies! Hahaha!] Autumn gives frisk a playful noogie making frisk giggle "autumn! My hair dude!" The others laugh, Chara stands still, then holds his knife and whispers

"erase this."

Frisk looks confused, before chara swings his knife aiming to slit her neck. But autumn yanks frisk back behind her and grabs the knife, blood pours from her hands as she gripped the blade, both of her eyes burned a bright hazel, she pushed chara back with her foot and throws the blade away, her hands are cut deeply, she looks at chara who is shocked at this turn of events, the powerful fire in autumn's eyes was far stronger than his, or Frisk's. But not enough to reset, Just to gaze into past resets. [*Don't you dare call yourself human, you think because you have some special power you're god? You think you can avoid karma? Karma always gets you no matter who you believe yourself to be. I wont let you hurt frisk or anyone just because your life turned for the worst. You. Are. Pathetic. You will never regain the title of human, EVER.] Autumn then fell to her knees, her soul ached and burned, as if it were on fire. Asgore rushed and tackled chara. Toriel rushed to autumn as she fell on her side, clutching her chest, blood pouring from her hands, frisk desperately shook autumn, and held her hand, autumn's eyes started to lose the fire. "Autumn, your gonna be ok! Please don't close you're eyes! Please! Please!! I love you..Please bestie...Don't leave me like my mom's did...Please don't leave me again..." Frisk said, tears running down her face, autumn reached her hand up, the same one that bared the purple bracelet and wiped Frisk's tears, frisk gripped autumn's arm, with the same hand that bared her bracelet too. Autumn smiled as tears formed. [*...I love ya too frannie...I'm sorry things got so messed up...I'm sorry i missed those last three years...I..I'm sorry i didn't find you sooner...I...I love you...Please don't cry...Tell mom and dad I'm sorry...Be strong Frannie, stay determined...Please be strong for me...please...Frisky bits... You'll always be my bestest friend...] Autumns eyes closed, frisk felt her hand go limp in her embrace. Her eyes widened. "No...Autumn please No..Not again..Please..." Frisk leaned over autumn's body and sobbed, pleading her to wake up. Nona ran to autumn's body and cried. "Mana, mana wake up! Please don't leave! Mana!!!" The others started to sob as the one who had brought them together was possibly gone. Wimsum flew around and sobbed hard, Bandy fell to his knees and cried too, he crawled over to autumn's body and hugged her arm. Toriel begged asriel to lend autumn his healing magic, asriel then quickly began to heal autumn. Chara looked at the scenario, in shock. Not only at the power, but at the familiar scene, one he had just recreated, he was stunned until asgore yanked him up to the landline. "What shall i do with chara?" Toriel, now baring tears at the sight of frisk mourning her best friend, gained a dark look as she set eyes on the cause. "Get him out of my sight, that's not my chara." Said Toriel, whom continued to rub frisks back as she hugged autumn's body and sobbed hard.

"please....Please wake up, i don't want to be alone...Please autumn...Please wake up...*sniff* buddy...You'll always be my bestest friend too..."

To be continued

[*knowing that you saved your best friends life, fills you with COURAGE.]

[iguessishouldbethankful]

How would Peppy and the rest of the Star Fox Team react to finding out Falco and Lucy have a thing going on? Does Peppy go all protective Papa Bun? Does Fox get concerned considering a teammate is dating someone who might as well be his sister?

Now this is an interesting question since the reaction would really depend when and why they got together--yes I have other ideas on how they would get together and I would love to explore them eventually. But I’ll be going off this whole post since it’s the one I work with the most.

Consider two very important things: Peppy is now General Hare. One of the highest figures in Corneria’s military. And Fox is now a retired, experienced mercenary and war veteran, wildly recognized by elitist military circles (popularly, not as famous as the common celebrity but he does hold some kind of fame).

Consider another thing: Falco goes back to his old ways, just barely staying out of trouble because it’s Falco. He won’t stay still for one second. So that criminal record might be looking kinda stained. Again.

Consider one more thing: Falco does not have a steady job or even a house to his name. Don’t ask him about his bank account, there’s cash in there but he will not tell you how much it’s not your damn business. Is it legal cash? Well it was legally deposited in his account if that’s what you want to know. Don’t give me that look, I’m clean. Leave me the fuck alone Fox, I know what I’m doing!!

So imagine a responsible Lucy Hare indeed hooking up with Falco after everything that was said and done, keeping it only between the two because, honestly, they have no idea what’s happening just that... something is happening. The escapes from formal military gatherings, or secret little get aways they do together because Falco likes the look of pure excitement in Lucy’s eyes when she finally gets to be--DO--what she always wanted to.

Lucy had diamonds in her eyes every time.

How Peppy would find out, I’m not entirely sure but after so many sneak aways and cancellations with Falco being present in Corneria and also making frequent visits and stays in Fichina, surely he’d suspect.

One night, Falco and Lucy do sneak away from a formal gathering. Lucy actually meets Falco’s old gang. Has incredible fun speaking with Katt and Kool. Gets a little too drunk and our avian boy needs to take her home, make sure she’d be fine and not throw up.

You’re not used to drinking this much huh?

I held on for longer than you assumed I would!

But you’re still pretty drunk, ma’am.

Don’t ma’am me you--

Lays sits her down on her bed in her home. No, not Peppy’s home. This was her childhood home she inherited from her mother. Peppy had the keys but did not live there anymore. Her room was still the same. Twin bed, rockets and space ships and pinks and stars on the ceiling. Lucy apologizes for being such a horrid pain for the team. Falco mentions that it’s fine. She’s fine.

I took your place. I get why you were mad at me.

She kisses him. He kisses back before pulling away. No, not good. Go to bed. You need to sleep. I’ll be here in the morning. And Falco just crashes on her coach in the living room. He snores a little. Not loud. But enough for a pair of grey ears to hear when the door is unlocked. Then slammed shut.

Falco wakes up with a start and aims his blaster at the intruder who was, in fact, Peppy. Silent realization and... Yeah. Falco knew what would come next. Get dressed, get up, don’t wake her up. Leave the home with the old man. There was a level of respect still between the two. Peppy had been the fatherly figure of the team. But something felt different when Peppy closed the door behind them once in the General’s office. Take a seat. No questions of intentions, not even a good morning or a greeting. Peppy was not happy. A warning instead popped out of the rabbit’s mouth.

Do not come close to my daughter again.

Falco was very aware at that point that... Peppy was not seeing him as a teammate anymore. Much less a son-like figure. Merely... Eyes glanced down to files and files, all on him and his past activities and... Oh. I get it. ...I get it.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

But understanding did not mean he’d comply. You see, I headcanon Falco was brought into the team under very special circumstances. He was blackmailed when he was caught by Fox. Either join the team and be our pilot for the war, or go to jail and live out your sentence. Of course Falco took the first option. Now... Falco was face to face with a silent threat again. General Pepper was willing to expunge crimes for quality pilots as long as they fought for the Cornerian forces. Peppy would easily make Falco’s life a living hell if he did not comply.

Would Peppy go through with it. Falco didn’t believe so, but there was a level of threat he didn’t want to fully ignore. So for a while, he did stay away. Didn’t answer Lucy’s texts or calls. Until he had time to carefully think about what he really wanted to do.

And honestly, Peppy only fueled the fire to Falco’s motivation to, finally, pursue.

Lucy wakes up to a message, asking if she’d like to hang out again.

And one night it goes somewhere. They don’t stop it. Why stop something they both wanted. Follow their instincts, right? And yes, Falco knew he was in deep trouble the next day. He knew deep down to the marrow of his bones. It’s not like Lucy wouldn’t realize that she was also stepping into something unstable. So her worries increased as well. And it was no real secret that Peppy was looming over them somehow.

An over protective father that only had her left...

But he was also an absent father in Lucy’s opinion.

Fuck it.

Don’t stop.

[chefjarredjarred]

Regret. (excerpt)

I remember the drummer coming to our table to talk with me. You don't just forget an Eddie-Griffin-with-Katt-Williams-hair blues drummer. The part that has stuck with me is when he said, spiritedly and genuine, “You've got to utilize yo' talent. You can't just sit around—excuse me—with your sticks up your butt.” Exact words. I don't know who this man was, but I've seen his face, his hair, his drumsticks pointing at me, in my head ever since. I know, Eddie. I don't disagree. I just had to refuse then, man. It just wasn't right.

But not until my early thirties would I come to understand what his warning meant. No, not understand—feel.

I was dating a girl I shouldn't have dated, moved into an apartment we shouldn't have gotten together, and at work I was being evaluated for a promotion to sous chef. At the time, all of it seemed like big, positive steps. I was so excited, focused on going forward, I didn't see the sinkhole underfoot, but that's a different story.

I had to get an emissions test on my truck, so I drove to a spot I had seen near the apartment. It was a yellow booth at the top of a hill, at the corner of an empty shopping mall. I hopped out of the Chevy, and the attendant, with his bloodshot eyes, immediately said, “You a drummer, huh...” It wasn't really a question. I froze. I wondered what clues he may have spotted.

“Uh... Well, yeah.”

“How did I know that?”

“I have no clue how you knew that. But yeah, drums were my thing. I also play bass, guitar, I sing, I used to rap, make beats, I was learning to deejay, everything.”

This dude, high as a wise monk on a mountaintop, looked right at me. “I read energies, man.”

I smirked, almost scoffed.

“Trapped energies.”

I dropped the smirk. I didn't know what to do.

“You'll never be happy until you get back into music.”

That was it. I was reminded of my emptiness.

I guess my truck passed the test. I said it was nice to meet him, this fucking prophet, I got in the truck, and drove directly across the street to the liquor store. I bought a bottle of vodka and went back to my new home. I felt like I was trudging through mud. It was hard to explain the encounter to my girlfriend; I suppose, bottle in hand, it was hard to explain why I was ready to drink that pain away in the middle of the afternoon as she got ready for work.

How did he know that? For a long stretch of childhood to adulthood, playing drums was all I cared about. It was all I wanted to do, and, soon after my refusal in Savannah or San Diego or Sacramento, the only thing I knew I was good at doing.

I had talent.

But I was neither a rock star nor a music teacher, the two careers book-ending the spectrum of vocational options people had envisioned for me when I was younger, but the only two I ever considered. I was a grown, broke, struggling, lost man, working my ass off to forge a new career path no one had foreseen. Where was the emissions booth prophet before I ended up here?, I wondered. When I was almost flunking high school? When I was in college the first or second time? Back when my dad tried to get me on that stage?

I was terrified that he was right, though.

I hadn't been behind a kit in years. Life had happened, and I had just sat around with my sticks up my butt.

Regretful.

I let you and everyone down, Eddie, and some guy holding my gas cap had just made me realize it. I thought of always saying to people that I am three things: a writer, a musician, and a cook. “Whichever one I can make a career of first, that's the way I go,” I say. What I never say is that, while I'm trying to come across as multi-talented and intellectual with that matter-of-fact defining of myself, I'm at the same time quietly trying to suffocate loser, the one that is always trying to get its spot in the lineup. This guy made me feel like a loser.

Of all the ways to have my day ruined by running such a mundane errand as an emissions test, an existential gut punch was not the one I would have seen coming. Have I lost music forever? How could I have let that happen? Can I even call myself a musician anymore?  The questions kept rolling in, knocking me down, but at the time, I was too preoccupied to find the answers. I was chasing the more practical and achievable dream, trying to make good on my feigned sureness of my triple threat identity and find a career path. Trying to turn cook to chef.

That had replaced music as my sole driving focus. I was almost there, so I pressed on, and eventually I did make it. Sous chef, traveling chef, executive sous chef, up to, finally, executive chef. Then I lost that, too.

But what a fucking relief it was.