#i use men some places and ppl seen as men others none of it is super straight forward gender as it applies to trans ppl is complicated sry

[autogyne-redacted]

Ok, so let's talk about "misandry."

(Heads up that I use terrible US foreign policy as an example of underlying gender ideology, Death to America of course)

1) if we're working within a social justice, privilege-oppression type framework, there is no systemic oppression of men as men, or trans men as trans men (beyond transphobia). Within these privilege oppression frameworks treating misandry or transandrophobia as a real thing is gonna have disastrous consequences.

2) But we need to be abandoning the identity politics social justice orthodoxy as fast as we can. Occupying a position of privilege within the discourse is dehumanizing and hellish, it has a terrible track record with transmisogyny (not a coincidence), and trying to map gendered power just by looking at identity groups means you miss a ton of what's happening within the groups, and in less straight forward ways.

3) a huge part of the gender binary is between camab ppl as (instrumental) subjects and cafab ppl as (responsive, feeling) objects. And this is fucked all around.

To pick one of the more egregious examples, US military directives make heavy use of the category of "military aged males." People outside this category are (theoretically) assumed to be non combatants while "military aged males" in ~warzones~ are basically valid targets by default. https://tinyurl.com/4skt53tx

This category also faces extra exclusion from refugee and asylum status: https://tinyurl.com/4txsmepy

We could explain this as a symptom of misogyny. That women should also be recognized as being capable of enacting violence and treated equally. This is the most straight forward application of orthodox gender theory and likely the worst.

Or we could say that there's something about the intersection of being Arab/Muslim/young/read as male that leads to a unique oppression.

But it's not like it's just this intersection. If we look at prison populations, or who gets hit by police violence, or weaponized accusations of Sexual Assault the logic is actually fairly consistent here, if a little messy to talk about.

Ppl seen as men are seen as capable of wielding power and this leads to benefits if they're seen as basically good. If they're seen as crazy, dangerous, evil, hostile, or at risk of being any of these, being seen as capable of violence makes shit way worse. Lots of intersections push you further towards being viewed as a threat.

(A pretty good bite sized model of transmisogyny is that it misgenders us as men + we get negative respect since we rejected masculinity + it frames us as crazy/dangerous).

Ppl seen as women are going to be seen as less competent, in need of guidance, control and protection by default. But it comes with certain (conditional) protections. Violence against women certainly happens, but the fact that it's a special protected category says a lot. (There's a lot to say about how much these protections are worth, who they really apply to and when they disappear and what happens then, but it's very clear that they exist and that they mean something).

4) so am I arguing for the existence of misandry? Absolutely not*. Gender is just a fucked up system of division and control all around. Privilege frameworks suggest that women are going to experience the same shit as men they share identities with + misogyny + possible extra intersectional oppression. And while this approach is sometimes helpful, I think a better default framework is that gender is just a way to create more social categories for a more complicated system of control with common threads like the subject-object binary that can play to different ways in different contexts.

The whole thing needs to be dismantled and we need to see ppl across gender categories as whole human beings with a meaningful interiority, the capacity for violence, etc. And if we recognize that gender is a complicated system of control, it follows naturally that our gender discourse shouldn't all ask men to sit down / shut up / listen.

5) the issue with transandrophobia BS is that it really wants to exceptionalize the trans masc experience. "It's fucked up that I'm being seen as suspect and capable of violence like terrible cis men, I'm obviously one of the good ones." And as they fight for the best of both worlds ("I should be respected like a man but still seen as incapable of chauvinism") it pushed naturally for trans fems to get the worst of both worlds.

6) returning to feminist "man-hating" there's a lot i oppose for being essentialist or doubling down on subject-object binary. Beyond that, a lot of it is just mean. And like, ppl can be jaded and mean sometimes. But a lot of social justice feminist dogma was ppl developing a bristly defensiveness from constant harassment and trolling. Ppl defending this as an understandable response, and then that shifting into codifying and valorizing it. And I just think it's a miserable way to live and it's miserable to be on the receiving end of it.

I think some grace and understanding for ppl being jaded and bristly is rly helpful but I'm done with valorizing it.

7) all of this said, basic feminist takes about men having lots of pressure and motivations to be chauvinist still apply. And they certainly apply to trans men. But there's a difference between having social expectations that you be a chauvinist and bowing to that pressure. And lots of men are chill and nice! Yes even cishet men!

It's easy to want to draw a hard line where you're "one of the good ones" and are categorically separated from the possibility of being sexist (ontologically incapable of violence, even?) and that goes really poorly.

(most of my beef with transandrophobia is that it's doing this + exceptionalizing trans masc experience in a way that fucks over trans fems).

But I'm not gonna ask ppl to constantly self flagellate or be hyper vigilant to make sure they don't slip up. Sin frameworks are miserable and it's not like being interpersonally shitty in a way that lines up with oppressive systems actually has consequences that much worse than just being an asshole.

So much of the more aggressive side of social justice just feels like ways to treat enemies, not your friends or ppl you want to be in community with.

I'm glad we've been moving on from it.

*editing a footnote since this has already come up a couples times / this post seems to be leaving my immediate circles: by saying misandry isn't real I mean: there isn't a systemic oppression of men as men that parallels misogyny. Gendered oppression isn't a "both sides" situation. When "egalitarian" or mra types brought "misandry" into the discourse this is what they were pushing for.

While I object to the idea that all men evenly oppress all women, patriarchy absolutely has men at the top. It's a complex and multi-directional system of power but there is an overall gendered slant to it. My framework here is still a feminist framework.

[golbrocklovely]

im pretty sure we've talked about this multiple times before and no hate to the girl this is probably just me being insecure about myself but honestly im not even surprised about the girl colby is dating clearly shes had some plastic surgery done but i was really rooting for him to be dating a girl that's natural and it sucks to see all this plastic surgery on social media. it seems like the only girls guys date on here are the same body type; big boobs, big butt, small waist.. i guess i just wish there was more natural body representation if that makes sense

i've said my stance on this a number of times but i'll say it again just to make it a bit clearer.

while i understand why you might think this way, bc genuinely i've been in your shoes before, allow me to explain why i don't think like this anymore.

i wrote way too much so i'm sorry in advance lol

this is the first time, ever, that colby has admitted to dating a specific girl. we've seen some that we can guess he was with, or maybe had something going on there, but no actual full on confirmations. so there is really nothing to base malia off of.

we don't know what colby's type is. i know a lot of ppl think they have an idea but reality is we don't know bc we're not colby/we don't know him like that. he has been with a lot of different girls over the years and none of them are similar in anyway, body wise.

now, i know you're not trying to say this, but how your statement comes across is us vs them. or really "anyone that's gotten work done is lesser than those that haven't." bc if there really was no difference between someone that hasn't had work vs someone who has, you wouldn't be talking about this at all. you turn plastic surgery into a negative when in a lot of ways it can be positive.

but that's not to negate the negative effects society has place on women to look a certain way and thus the absolute rise in plastic surgery, fillers, and botox over the years. societal standards of beauty are bullshit and misogyny harms all of us.

i do have to ask, or just raise the question of… do you feel this same way about katelyn? or kat even? bc they were both skinny, pretty, dark haired girls that sam dated/is dating. and yet, you aren't asking him to date a more "natural" shaped woman. i just wanna know why colby has to be the exception. i'm also sure you know men in your own life who have types. do you call them out for only dating those types? just wondering.

i'm saying this as someone who has been in your exact shoes years ago. when i first got into the fandom, i genuinely was upset at colby for his dating habits and felt like he would never date someone that looked like me and that also led to me not ever feeling like i could be reposted by them for merch pics, bc bodies like mine just aren't as accepted.

but i need to make it abundantly clear: you have to stop relying on snc to make you love yourself. and i mean that in the nicest way possible.

snc are two random guys who most likely don't know who you are. you cannot rely on them to bring your self esteem up or to make you feel worthy of love. you have to do internal work and find a way to love yourself regardless of others, bc at the end of the day - you only have yourself.

i love snc, truly, but i don't give a rat's ass if they would find me hot. i find me hot. and that's all that matters. anyone that doesn't find me hot… that's their loss. bc i'm cute, have a big ass, and i'm funny.

10s across the board if you ask me lol

but to bring it back to snc, or colby specifically, the amount of insecurities i have towards myself were not his fault. he was not the one that made me feel like shit about myself, so i cannot take it out on him to try and fix me. he is one person with his own set of issues, who doesn't know i exist. and while it's easier to blame him and wish he was the one stand out, wattpad bf i wish he could be, reality is he too probably also likes a woman with big tits and a big ass. and there ain't nothing wrong with that, since he probably ALSO likes a girl with a personality too. bc fun fact, women with big tits and ass can also have a nice personality.

i'm not saying any of this to be mean to you genuinely. i get your thought process and feelings 100%. i just think you are placing a lot of your frustration on the wrong person. society as a whole is to blame for why you and i don't like ourselves. if anything, colby has helped me like myself more. i think we should try not to let his personal choices feel like a strike against us, if that makes any sense. he isn't dating someone like malia out of spite bc of plus size/natural body type fans. he's dating her bc he loves her, bc he found someone that makes him open up for the first time in a long time. and that should be celebrated, rather than shot down.

[glacecakes]

Enchantment Passing Through (1/?)

Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead... where ancient kings laid their greatest treasure, the Book of the Dead, able to raise an army to your bidding. Hugo thinks it's all a load of bullshit, that is, until he accidentally raises a very angry mummy hellbent on world domination. Now he has to help the mummy track down the people who stole his cursed canopic jars, and hopefully minimize the property damage along the way.

It doesn't help that his mummy thinks they're star-crossed lovers or something.

Oh boy. Ohohoho boy. Here we go. I've been cooking this idea in my little pea noggin for a while now. It's mostly just vibes and stupid shitposts, but yknow, that's what all fanfic is. A warning up front. This fic is very morally grey in that uh. Varian is. Evil. He kills people. He's the mummy. You ever see The Mummy (1999)? It's very good. The Mummy (2017) is not. Would you believe me if I said I got this idea from the 2017 version? Me and my ex were watching it and joking how much better the movie would be if the mummy and archeologist ditched Tom Cruise to go take over the world and well. Here we are.

Also the tone of this is going to be a hot mess and I'm so excited for it. It's half action adventure Hugo and Varian hunting people down, half Hugo teaching Varian about modern society. If watching Hugo try to keep Varian from murdering random ppl floats your boat, you're in the right place.

Updates will be very sporadic since I'm moving to a new city for a job, but I do have an ending in mind so even if I give up on this fic I will write the ending. Cool? Cool.

The sun is scorching overhead, nearly blinding with intensity. It seeps into every crack and corner, burning skin and sand alike. As Hugo treks across the sand to the top of the hill, he is one of the only living things for miles. The plane that brought him here has long since left, dropping him off a good mile from the camp for some stupid reason. He hikes up his socks like a good boy scout would, puffing out air from his lips so that his bangs flutter up. The heat sucks. It really sucks. He's not made for it. Don owes him big time for going on this expedition, but if it's as incredible as everyone's made it out to be, it'll be worth it. It has to be.

As the sand gives way to the sky, two men come into view. His contacts, he presumes, and sure enough, he knows that back of the head. He dropped a piano on it once. "Rider!" He calls, kicking up sand to meet the older man with a lazy wave. The man in question turns around, face falling when he recognizes who said his name.

"Hugo." his voice is dripping with venom, but Hugo doesn't really mind. The guy's a prick anyway, at least he can spend the trip getting on his nerves. His friend's not so bad though.

"Buddy!" Lance cheers, pulling Hugo into a side hug that's almost burning due to the heat.

"Good to see you too," Hugo ignores the death glare from Eugene. Someone is clearly a little cranky about the dry heat. He bets the man is hiding under six layers of sunscreen. "So, this is the place?" He looks around. “It doesn’t seem very-” his words die in his throat as he looks down at the other side of the hill. Suddenly his lips are as dry as the desert he’s in.

"Oh yeah," Lance gestures to the complex with wide arms. "Welcome to Hamunaptra."

The complex is enormous, even by normal ruin standards. Sandstone stretches beyond the eye can see, crumbling statues and monoliths dotting the landscape and turning it into a sandy forest. It shimmers like a mirage under the desert sun. How no one was able to find this place before is beyond Hugo; but then again, it is in the smack dab middle of nowhere. Across the plaza, the Baron's men are hard at work documenting various inscriptions and excavating large sand pits. Despite the fact that there should be no civilization for miles on end, and technically, there is none, the complex has come to life in a way not seen since it was in use by the Pharaohs of old. Eugene and Lance lead him through the men with jovial expressions, chatty as always. They sandwich him in between their massive bulk, shielding him from the stares of those around them. The pickaxes, the hungry teeth, the too sharp eyes. But Hugo doesn’t need protecting, he holds his head up high. He’s above this. He’s above them all.

"It was crazy! There we were, running for our lives from the cops," Lance pushes his hand out to tell the tale. "When suddenly the sand starts moving, forming a wall between us and our enemies. The city protected us! It wanted to be found! By us!" He sounds so excited that Hugo almost believes it, if it wasn't absolute malarkey.

"So, a sandstorm revealed it," he corrects, and Lance full on pouts. Like a puppy.

Eugene nonchalantly puts his hands in his pockets. "Nah, you had to be there. The way the sand was moving was..." his eyes are distant. "Unreal."

“If you say so, Rider.” Eugene’s face twitches just a smidge. After their last adventure Hugo knows his real name now, but he’s been kind enough to stick to last names, and Eugene thanks every god under the sun that he wasn’t stupid enough to tell Hugo his real last name. If Hugo ever found out his last name he might actually have to kill the little twerp.

“What, you don’t believe in all the magic around this place?” Lance asks. “You’re like, the expert in mummy curses.”

Hugo stops dead in his tracks. The idea is so ridiculous, so offensive, he wants to scream. “Uh, no. I’m an Egyptologist.”

“Right. Mummy scientist.”

“No, Egyptologist. I study all of Ancient Egypt, not just the mummies.” He scoffs. He did not graduate college at 18 just to be called a mummy scientist. “And besides, once you open your eighth ‘cursed sarcophagus’, you start to discredit the myths.”

They enter the Baron's tent, where the center of activity seems to be. Men of all shapes and sizes scurry about with research and plans and blueprints, but the Baron is in a weight class of his own, a literal mountain. He's seen the man before, but still, Hugo trembles at the sheer mass of him. Everything about the Baron screams danger, and not in the fun, exciting way that working with Donella has let him experience. Swindling suckers, dashing through cobbled European streets, rummaging through decades of research, that's his specialty. Eugene, Lance and the Baron's group are... the muscle that Donella contracts. This time, it's the other way around.

The Baron makes an unimpressed face. "This is him?"

"Yup," Eugene looks none too happy about it. "This is him."

He bristles at the tone, almost childish and mocking. "Hugo," he holds out a hand for the beast to shake. "I'm Donella's chief Egyptologist."

"You're 12."

"19." He grits. "And I know more about Egypt in my pinky than you do in your bigass skull." For a second, he's afraid he's about to get slammed into the sand like a Looney Tunes character, but the Baron simply sneers.

"You were right, Rider. He is annoying."

He turns scarlet .

“Wh-“ Hugo’s mouth drops open. “I’ll have you know that I am the only person in a 50 mile radius who can read hieroglyphs, Coptic and Demotic!” He rattles the words off his fingers as if any of these brutes have the capacity to understand. “I have studied thousands of artifacts and relics-“

“‘S fine, kid.” Eugene elbows him. “We’re just teasing.”

Hugo scoffs. Like it or not, he needs this. This is his first solo mission in… life, and he’s not going to return to Donella empty handed. He can’t. “So, what exactly am I here to read?”

The Baron leans in real close. His breath reeks of cigarette smoke. “All that big talk and you don’t even know where we are?”

“Well, I know what Hamunaptra is ,” Who doesn’t? It’s the fabled city of the dead. The ancient and most powerful of Egypt’s pharaohs were said to bury their treasure here. Well, treasure and most dangerous and cursed objects. Anything that the outside world was never meant to see ended up here. Most people thought it was a myth, honestly, himself included, until Donella got a letter from the Baron asking for her help with exploring the place. She’d been almost loath to send him, but he’d insisted he was ready for the big leagues.

“Legends say there’s serious treasure down there. Like the jackpot if all jackpots.” Lance’s eyes are practically glowing. “You’d be the richest man alive with just a fraction of what they’ve got stashed in there.”

“See, I don’t get it,” Eugene butts in. “Why bury your treasure with you when you die? I mean sure keep it right up till death, but once you’re dead, what good does it serve you? It’s just sitting there, begging for a thief to come take it.”

“The Egyptians believed that possessions could follow them into the afterlife. The idea was they’d go with them to the underworld.” Hugo’s face turns a shade evil as he makes wiggly fingers. “They’d even bury loved ones with them… still alive .”

Lance makes a noise like a dying squirrel, and Hugo laughs. He’s too gullible. “Hamunaptra was the key to their beliefs. A sacred place that should not be disturbed. So naturally, we’re disturbing it.”

“They’re dead,” the Baron  shrugs. “Not like they’re going to stop us.”

Finally, someone who doesn’t believe in all that magic hooky bullshit. “Unless there’s traps.”

“Exactly.” The Baron’s grin is wicked, teeth brighter than the sun somehow. “Your job, little man, is to guide my men through the city of the dead to the ultimate prize. The Book of the Dead.”

He swallows the lump in his throat. The Book of the Dead. Solid gold, the original from which all other books of the dead were copied. Allegedly able to reanimate the dead to your bidding. The thing Donella wants no matter the cost. The thing he has to steal from the Baron.

Joy.

Hugo is nothing if not good at his job though. He puts on a winning smile and takes the Baron’s outstretched hand to shake. “Donella wants a cut of the riches.” He doesn’t say which cut she wants in particular. Conmen and businessmen are similar like that, one is just considered illegal.

“We’ll work out the details once you find the Book.” The Baron’s grip is crushing. He pulls the younger in close. “Turn on me, and not even that book can bring you back from where I’ll send you,” his breath causes Hugo to cringe, teeth too clean for a predator like him.

Hugo’s mouth tastes like ash. “Sounds good to me.” It’s fine, Donella wouldn’t send him if it wasn’t. He’s got this. These guys are chumps, all brawn with no brains. He just has to play to his advantages.

They make quick work of preparation, a half dozen of muscle men to break through walls and tunnels, another with a gun (lord these men are superstitious, watched too many movies).

“I’m Anthony,” says the one with the gun, a weaselly grin showing off broken teeth. He’s got a permanent squint in one eye, likely from overuse of the gun as a third arm. “Mighty nice to be working with ya.” and then the gun is pointing at him. “Best make sure I don’t have to use this.”

“Ignore him,” A female voice cuts through the testosterone-ridden atmosphere like smooth butter. The goons part like the red sea to reveal a slender figure with reddish-brown hair. With eyes like glittering jewels, she holds out a perfectly manicured hand. “Stalyan.”

“Hugo.” He takes the hand. It’s way too soft and smooth to be out here. “Are you, uh…”

“Baron’s my dad.” Ah. That’ll do it. He’s not one for nepotism, and she can see it on his face when she adds, “Gemologist. Appraiser.” And suddenly her position makes sense. There’s no friendly or warm facade, just a cool burn of an overconfident woman. Her teeth shine like pearls, razor sharp and ready to chomp when her eyes land on Eugene. Despite the heat of the desert, the atmosphere turns ice cold. “Rider.”

“Stalyan.”

“Lance!” The burly man steps in and Hugo thanks every god in the Egyptian pantheon when he whisks him away from the inevitable cat fight. “Ignore them. Exes. Nasty breakup.”

“What a shocker.”

He leads him over to two more men. One has shaggy brown hair and permanent bags under his eyes and a short nose. He barely gives Hugo a second glance. The other has dark hair tied up in a bun, and a manicured beard.

“Dwayne, Andrew, this is Hugo, the archeologist.”

“Egyptologist, for the hundredth time.”

Andrew laughs, a dark sounding thing. Even if he doesn’t believe in auras or chakras or other hokey bullshit, something about this man just screams dark, sinister even. His eyes are expressionless, despite what should be a kind smile on his face. Like he doesn’t feel anything. “Ignore Lance. I think Egyptology is a noble profession.”

His heart jumps a beat. “Really?”

“We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.” He holds a hand out to shake. Hugo takes it. It’s ice cold.

Andrew and Lance lead Hugo to the mouth of the complex, grabbing a few outside torches as they gaze into the yawning abyss of the temple. Pitch black darkness runs as far as the eye can see. “Shall we?“ Lance bows in front of Hugo, who smirks and takes the lead. The rest of the group follows suit, first Dwayne sauntering down. Then Stalyan and Eugene, bumping hips and trying to trip one another in an attempt to get in first. Finally Anthony, pointing the gun all around as if someone was going to come up behind him.

Hieroglyphs run up across pillars and walls and spiral up towards the ceiling that glitters with the image of Nut. It’s remarkably well preserved, there’s even some paint left chipping off of the walls. He runs a hand along the symbols, relishing the feel across his fingertips. The sandstone runs along seemingly endlessly.

The center of the temple, where usually there would be a statue, is instead a massive staircase down into the complex.

“Into hell we go,” Eugene murmurs darkly.

Read the rest at AO3

[forgottenghosty]

Unexpected...

As I wrote at the start of December, I had to say goodbye to my dog Baxter.  It was agreed at the time that it would take time to heal and not likely that my family would be getting another dog for some time. I myself thinking at the very least it was understandable that it would be 3 or more months before we even would think about it, letting the family heal as well as the other pets, Gracie (cat) and Toby (dog).  Gracie and Toby are around the same age of 8 (both adopted) and Baxter was 6 and 2 months (from a breeder and last big Christmas gift from my late grandfather to me.)  My dad and I had started looking into breeders and adoptions and such before Christmas on our own separately just to have an idea of the area around us since we had lived in another state when we got Baxter and we also both agreed when we mentioned this to each other that we were curious and wanted to know things when we felt our family was ready.  No rush, just taking our time while we healed.  A big reason for looking into it for me that I made know is that I didn’t want Toby to be alone too long since he and Baxter were thick as thieves.

Baxter was around 1 when I found Toby abandoned at a movie theater and took him to a vet to be scanned for a chip and none was found. He was taken in by a foster and in the end no owner was found. Though a person did come forward saying their mother had owned him and passed from an overdoes and the roommate hated him. Most likely why Toby looked well taken care of and groomed except for debris from the field around the theater. Thankfully he hadn’t gone near the highway near by.

In the end our family fell in love with Toby while looking for his family, though I would admit I loved him right away. We adopted him and Baxter took too him right away. Toby was original a skittish guy. He was afraid of men and jumpy around plastic bags and yelling. He was completely fine with loud noises like garbage trucks. Over time he has mellowed and is no longer skittish around men and loves my dad and brother as much as my mother and I.  Baxter and Toby would play often and wrestle. Baxter would alert to when they both needed to go to the bathroom and they’d lay in my dad’s lap together. 

Gracie, Toby and Baxter would be calmly lay in the same room with me and nap while fireworks would go off. Only reaction to gunfire, (ppl love doing that for the holidays). This New Years Eve both Gracie and Toby were hiding. Toby wanting to be with someone.  Something I hadn’t seen them do before and made me more aware of how much Baxter was not only a calming presence for my family, but also for the rest of the pets.

Ever so often Toby will just act tired and not eat as much as he used to. He has lost a little weight and does eat more when he sees someone like me eating.  Other days he’s energetic and snarfs his food down. He’s had days at the start where he was looking confused and searching.  I’m pretty certain he’s missing Baxter greatly.

Toby has been taking Baxter’s place as comforter during high times of anxiety or emotions.  Baxter helped me through my sever Anxiety and my emotional moments as my emotional support animal. He’d give the best hugs and the most loving kisses. If he heard me crying he’d come running to start giving kisses and hugs.  If someone even was quietly stressing he’d put his head or paw on their leg or jump into their lap. Toby has been giving kisses and snuggling in our arms taking on his young brothers role.  So getting another dog at some point felt only right so he wouldn’t be alone. He can only do so much with his cat sister. My mother mentioned often how she felt it would be a long time before we would even think about another dog. Both my father and I understood this and were being patient. After hearing about Baxter, a friend couple of my parents mentioned a Doodle Rescue which my mother then started looking at around Christmas and my father as well.  A few days before New Years Eve, my mom say a dod that looked like Baxter on the site and mentioned it too me and showed me. I agreed and looked her up and thought she was adorable. She told my dad about her as well.  Slowly over the few days my mom began to show more interest and my dad and her talked about doing an application for the dog as a trial believing they wouldn’t get picked. A lot of people had mentioned on the post they had entered an application for her and my mom just wanted a feel and idea of how it was done for the future.  What was not expected was within a few hours of applying we got a message saying our application was picked with others for an interview.  We found out that we were 1 of 5 others that was picked to be looked through as potential adopters.  In the end we are now going to meet her and hopefully bring her home.  It’s amazing how quickly it happened and how suddenly as well.  I’ll do another post later about it after, but for now I just wanted to mention it and the journey.  Hopefully it goes well and Toby and her get along and then Gracie and her as well. 

[imkeepinit]

Facebook post by Georgia McBride, September 13, 2016

I'm angry and hurt today. I've read some of your posts on my feed in recent weeks. Said nothing. Felt the sting of your words, but said nothing. Long post to follow. Please forgive typos. Feel free to share. My posts are set to "public. "Today, I will speak. I will speak because some athletes not standing for our flag doesn't affect you. Sure. It might anger you, but it does not affect the quality of your life. But every time a black person is gunned down and the video is played over and over on national and international TV, it affects me. It affects my kids and my family. And we're not criminals. We aren't walking down the street wearing hoodies and carrying Skittles and Iced Tea. You know, like a criminal who deserves to be killed. And when YOU defend that action, it affects me. It affects all of us. And you know what else? It affects my husband. It makes his job a lot less safe and it makes him a target of additional violence and hatred. If you want to "unfriend" me, go right ahead. If you want to label me, I assure you, I have been called worse than anything you can fathom. I have been treated BY COPS in the most disrespectful and blatantly racist ways. I don't speak about it in public to protect my husband. One day, I will, to protect my children. If you don't get that we have a problem in this country with the way blacks and whites are treated, you and I aren't really friends to begin with. It isn't a difference of opinion. We don't "disagree." It is a fundamental underlying point of view that sets you above me in a position to determine whether blacks have a legitimate right to be heard on their grievances and have those grievances addressed. And because those grievances don't directly affect you, you dismiss them and employ the same tactics as those who victim shame women who are sexually assaulted, raped and beaten. Ryan Locthe went to represent the United States to the world in another country. He committed a crime, lied about it and fled prosecution. This is a true disgrace to our country. The Constitution doesn't protect his right to commit crimes in other countries or flee responsibility for them. I never once saw anyone call him a criminal, anti-American or refer to his race when referencing the crime. No real outrage except to dismiss him as dumb, a tool, a jerk. Yet, more people are outraged that an American football player who represents his team, not the United States, refuses to stand for the national anthem. More people are concerned that Gabby Douglas didn't place a hand over her heart during the anthem than they were about Ryan Locthe's criminal behavior. Several other athletes (white) never covered their hearts during the anthem and crickets. No outrage. None from the Internet patriots. No posts about how lucky they were to be chosen to represent the country and how they failed to show gratitude. Fast forward. All ppl posting negative comments re Colin Kaepernick, meet Georgia McBride. Let me address what I've seen you call the man "and others like him." I'm not a spoiled millionaire athlete. I'm not "ignorant." I don't hate cops. I don't hate America. I'm not leaving America - tho nice try. I stand for the anthem. I'm not "brainwashed" by Black Lives Matter. My mother does not have 20 kids by 10 different men. My father never abandoned us. I am not on welfare. Don't know anyone who is. I am not on drugs. Don't know anyone who is. I'm not racist. No really. I'm not. 95% of my friends are white. I come from a family of Ivy-League and City and State college-educated people. My husband is a cop as was his father and uncle. My brother was a cop. My father was in the military. My cousins are in the military. I was never a latch-key kid. I don't know anyone in a gang. My cousin is a politician. I have never lived in the "projects." I have teachers, nurses, businessmen, former FDNY in my immediate and extended family. So what will you call me? How will you disparage me? My kids? My family? My friends? How will you discredit me? How will use my skin color and background to prove I'm wrong and uninformed? How will you convince the world that I am brainwashed by Black Lives Matter? How will write me off as a gang-banging, welfare-loving, no-father-in-the-house-having, Black Lives Matter racist terrorist? I owe my entire life to protests - both peaceful and violent. To civil disobedience, and acts of courage and defiance that seem inappropriate or un-American and at the time, were illegal. Neither laws nor minds nor hearts are changed by silence and compliance. Think about that. Maybe it is disrespectful to kneel during the national anthem, but the Constitution protects that right same as it does for civilian gun ownership, which you all know I am fervently against. Back to protests. Were it not for brave protests like this one, my life and that of my family would be vastly different. I ask you to think about that next time you label something a "joke" or "disgusting" or "wrong" or post disparaging memes and comments about a few young men doing what they can to change the lives of many and who are giving a voice to those without one. I ask you NOT to judge them on what YOU feel they should be doing, but rather what they are doing. Would you risk your job, future income, personal safety and that of your family and friends to bring attention to injustice in this country? How do you not realize that this is what they're doing? Should I have to risk my job, my home, my life just to have the same rights afforded to you? Just to be able to have my kids walk down the street in their own neighborhood without being suspected of being a criminal or worse, shot to death? All those people saying he is disrespecting the military - think about this. This is HIS way of fighting. He has no protection. No training. Few people on his side. He is fighting here, in the United States, as people have threatened to kill him and his family. People burn his jersey on YouTube, football fans are filled with so much hatred that they are vowing never to watch football again in order to bankrupt the NFL. Why? Because a few black men kneeled or sat during the national anthem. These people are more concerned with this than WHY the men did what they did. Think about how YOUR comments and YOUR actions impact those around you. Think about how the memes which started out as calling him anti-American have now have turned blatantly racist. THINK ABOUT THAT. Think about how your lack of concern for the people he is speaking out for reflects on you. Think about all the smart white people telling the not-too-smart black people how to solve problems in "the black community" as if they have any clue at all? And the kicker? Posting the one or two black people who share your POV as proof that the millions of other blacks and whites are actually wrong. Please stop. PLEASE STOP. You stand for the national anthem at sporting events. Big deal. I'm guessing you don't when you're out to eat and a game is on. Or when you're watching the game at home. Nope. Only when people can see you and judge you for how patriotic they think you are. If it weren't for people calling bullshit on this country, our kids wouldn't be in school together. I wouldn't have my own business. My husband would not be allowed to be a cop. I would not have been allowed to marry my husband. It would've been illegal for me to have both my kids. As a woman I would not have been allowed to have credit in my own name or to have property such as a house or car in my own name. We would not have equal pay for equal work. I wouldn't be able to live in the neighborhood that I currently live in. Local friends, we would not have a female Chief of Police. I reprimand and punish my kids because I love them. To teach them that what they did was wrong so they won't do it again. Does this mean I hate my kids? I'm anti-children? If my spouse does something to hurt me and I tell him about it - I ask him to change - it isn't because I don't love him. If someone has an issue with a teacher or a doctor - do they hate teachers and doctors? Are they anti-education and anti-medical science? If someone has an issue with a cop's behavior, this makes him anti-cop? Un-American? Oh wait. We need to get right in this country. We need to recognize the problems we have and address them, no matter how painful. No matter if they don't affect us. Feel free to speak out against an athlete not standing for the national anthem because yeah - that's the change we need. All will be right in this country once NFL players return to showing respect for the national anthem. That's sarcasm.

[betelguwuse]

I just watched X and absolutely loved it. I didn’t completely get what they were trying to say about sex, it gave me some gross ~porn is empowering~ vibes but it did have some points about religious fundamentalism and repression. Anyway. The pimp dude was clearly the bad guy here. Well not The bad guy but. If he hadn’t 1) lied to the old ppl about how many people would be staying 2) shot porn on their property without their consent 3) became scum who exploits women for money in the first place, none of this would have happened. I mean the other men are complicit too. But that guy was just the worst. Also I don’t completely get the motive of the old ppl killing. Was it just because they found out about the porn? Cuz like they had that televangelist sommaybe religious reasons? I may not be the most well read Christian but I’m still pretty sure Jesus doesn’t like murder. Unless the televangelist was of some other niche sect or cult that does endorse killing idk. It was the 70s so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was cults. Idk. I still had a good time without really needing a motive but yknow. The gore was amazing, it took over half the film for anyone to actually die but the buildup was really cool and tense and actually had me invested in the characters and everything. The tiny little reveal about the mc at the end kinda came out of nowhere, I feel like they could’ve hinted at that aspect a teeny bit more, but it still does very much make sense. Maybe an internal look into her struggle beforehand would’ve been nice idk. I heard they’re making a prequel or something which I’m super excited for. I really hope they don’t lean into the ~porn is empowering~ bullshit. Like this girl has clearly been traumatized by her upbringing and is just further traumatizing herself by going in the complete opposite direction. These men are just using you baby. Get outta there.

Also I’m obsessed with brittany snow in this. I’ve only seen her in would you rather and a handful of other non horror stuff but man her role in this movie,, I’d trust her with my life, I also like how she’s the stereotypical ‘slut’ horror character but she still has a personality and she’s sweet and I’d just die for her ok, and she’s one of the last to die and her death isn’t gratuitous or sexualized or anything which is so 🙏 And the part where she’s singing while the old lady is being sad got me emo for some reason. Like damn I came here to be shocked by some gore not have an existential crisis about aging. A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

[chaosclover1999]

honestly so mad rn bc of the whole "lesbian bears" thing, mainly bc like,,,, when gay men wanted 2 hav our own pride flag that was 4 us and we made it "2 similar" 2 the lesbian pride flag u guys were telling us it was shitty and calling it the toothpaste flag and saying it was phobic but now u think that it's ok 2 take an entire community concept from us a community concept that was made specifically 2 address body image issues within the gay male community bc of how every1 was expected 2 b a twink ect hell i even seen ppl saying that it's misogyny that there isn't already lesbian bears but none of you see the fucking irony, we try to borrow from you so we can have something that people will recognise as us instead of something 4 the whole queer community, so the rainbow flag can be used by every queer person while we still get 2 have a flag 4 the mlm community specifically, but then we get told off, told we're being bigoted against lesbians but then when people try 2 say that lesbians should be able 2 borrow the concept of bears from us then suddenly borrowing from each other is fine, im not even against lesbians having their own version of being a bear and calling is something slightly different and using it to address any body image issues that might be happening within the lesbian community (im not a lesbian so i can't speak to what those might be) from what i can c from an outside perspective tho it seems like a lot of those issues might already b being addressed by the butch lesbian communities? i just worry because a lot of people that i c talking about it r just saying something to the effect of "being a bear shouldn't just b 4 gay men because women get more shit for having body hair than men do" just the whole way in how it's being done just sucks and is completely ignoring the struggles that gay men go through and y we needed the label of bear in the 1st place, pushing aside our struggles to say "women have it worse and therefore lesbians have it worse" i just wish some1 would acknowledge the fuckin hypocrisy elephant in the room, i started typing this when i saw a post on my dash after waking up early at like 5am so idk how coherent this is but ig i just wish we were able 2 hav fukin smth w/out ppl calling us sexist 4 wanting smth 4 ourselves and not making every single aspect of our community open 2 every1, being a gay man isn't queer lite like some of u seem 2 think it is, we hav our own specific struggles and acting like everything that is us is now just an overall queer community thing and not specifically a gay guy thing and we should move over 2 make way 4 every1 who isn't us is 1 of those struggles, 1st it was the rainbow flag, now its the word "gay" increasingly being used 2 just mean queer and now also ppl being shitty abt us having the bear community by saying "u shouldn't hav this bc women hav it worse" it just feels like we don't get 2 hav fucking anything and then when we try 2 hav our own flag just 4 us we're evil ig, idk what u would even call this, erasure? smth like that

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[ickymichi]

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐈 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒:

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

<3 warning: none really! just slight mentions of nsfw but nothing brutal, swearing, v slight angst, mentions of insecurity.

<3 things to know!: set in the timeskip, unless i’m like ‘this was back in high school’. (implied female) reader and issei are in an established relationship.

<3 summary!: headcannons i have about issei and his appearance/body. :)

<3 a/n: see i genuinely had no idea what to call this. like it’s headcannons that i have about issei’s appearance/body?. and also to make some of the things named more normalised and to make ppl see how attractive they make ppl. reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

all contents belongs to hotboyissei 2021. please do not repost or modify on this or any other platform.

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄𝐒: listen to this okay. issei with freckles on his shoulders. beautiful i know. but just imagine it. those nice broad shoulders with thousands of freckles scattered across them from years of tanning and getting sunburned on the beach while on holidays or just from the numerous summers he spent in your backyard getting a tan. just running your hands across them seeing how some of them connected to form a bigger one. he always tells you it tickles. but never says stop. also in summer he gets them on his face from the sun.

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐒: he definitely had them on like the part of his back where his arm meets his shoulders, on the under side of his biceps and definitely got some on his ass cause boy got cake. but he’s insecure about them and used to hate wearing tank tops cause you could see them. but you told him how much you love them and how cool they look. now mf thinks he’s hot shit (as he should) and walks around your house in them or just shirtless. if you have some to he would literally always be telling you how attractive it is. literally constantly.

𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑: he definitely is on the hairier side. like he got hairy ass legs let me tell you, but it thins out when it gets to his thighs a bit. definitely waxes or shaves his ass idc idc, was scared from this one time he was watching porn and it just got a shot of the guys hairy ass and he was disgusted. but also he got like, not a lot to where he has to constantly wax it, but a nice amount of chest hair, like it’s only on his pecs not on his stomach you know?. side story!: it was like, two months after you started dating and you were having a movie night at his and you were staying over. makki convinced, i mean convinced him you were going to have sex for the first time. so issei being afraid you’d think his chest hair is unattractive he booked a chest wax and made makki come with him. he recorded the whole thing and showed you two years later, big bad matsukawa issei himself, screaming from pain and nearly breaking makki’s hand with the grip he had on it. end of side story :). his happy trail? pheww that shit idky it’s just attractive to me for some reason. also has a bit of stubble but he shaves it cause of one time in third year he was just really lazy that week and didn’t shave and when the four of them went to go to the cinema on saturday oikawa said: “who’s uncles coming our way?”. from then on he never goes out with to them without shaving beforehand. if you tell him you find it attractive he’d grow it out a small bit just to see your reaction. but if you said you don’t like it he’d do it anyway to annoy you.

𝐀𝐂𝐍𝐄: high school issei definitely had acne. not like major but had some on his cheeks and his back. he hated it sm cause all his friends never had a problem with it. until you told him it doesn’t matter if he has it for not he’s still seggsy as fuck. now timeskip issei? not as much. he made sure to start taking care of his skin halfway through high school. that is until masks became a thing, poor guy has a love hate relationship with them now.

𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆: listen, issei eats. mf has the biggest appetite you’ve ever seen. ceo of “you eating that?”. every time you see him on the couch he either has a bag of crisps, chocolate, popcorn, leftovers from last night or a takeout he ordered in his lap. man just loves food (i relate ‘sei dw). but all that eating makes boy bloat like crazy. like, he has a fast metabolism so mf never gains weight that much🙄. but he could literally eat half a sharing bar of chocolate and suddenly he’s eight weeks pregnant. also, he didn’t know what bloating was until you finished a movie night and mf took half the popcorn, had his own bag of jellies and three of the small multipack chocolate bars. so when he undressed for his shower and caught a glimpse of his stomach that normally only has a bit of pudge, pushed out to where it looks like he gained weight over night he has a stroke. this how shiz went down:

“(Y/N)!!” you literally sprinted to the bathroom thinking he fell or sum. “what issei? what happened?!”. “have i, have i always been this big?” “what? you look like you always do”. the distressed noise he let out along with him fake stumbling and grabbing the counter had you confused. “i look pregnant! what do you mean i always look like this? we’re getting a treadmill or at home gym or whatever i need to get back to how i was. good lord i really let myself go.” he ran a hand across his face while rubbing his stomach and looking in the mirror. then it hit you. “oh my god you fucking idiot, you do realise how much shit you are right? your just bloated.” “bloated? the fuck is that?”. you then spent the next fifteen minutes sitting on the toilet seat explaining what bloating was while he showered.

𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇: i just know baby don’t got teeth that look like a fresh set of veneers. and it’s not like they crazy crooked, just slightly that you barley notice unless you’re up close and stare at his mouth. but because he’s always looking at himself it’s the first thing he sees. this leads to him covering his mouth whenever he laughs and only slightly smirking or lifting his mouth to a small closed lip smile when he’s told to smile. everytime he has to take a picture with his family one of his auntie who’s taking it shouts: “smile issei!” every time. and he always says: “i am though”which leads to his getting pinched in the side by his mother and her telling him: “fucking smile properly before i whoop your ass” through gritted teeth while she smiles brightly herself. he grew to not care as much when, you again, told him you love his smile when he threw his head back instead of covering his mouth when you told him a funny story.

𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐒/𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐒: heavenly i know, but bby doesn’t completely agree. we all know boy thick especially those gorgeously thick thighs! but he just thinks they’re too thick. he’s used to seeing oikawa and makki’s slender ones, so when he stands in front of the mirror in a pair of swim shorts he bought and they’re swinging on his waist but about to rip around his thighs he can feel himself start to tear up. and then, what a suprise, you walk in!

~ start story:)): “ ‘sei! you ready to go, oh are you okay?”. he whips his head around to see you standing in the doorway in the swim set you just bought your self. ‘god you look so good’ he thinks to himself. “uh yeah yeah i’m good just need a few minutes these uh, they don’t fit.” he brings a hand to his face and uses his index finger and thumb to wipe the tears in the corner of his eyes. “oh well then you can just tie the strings, that’s what they’re there for, i told you to go a size down silly”. you stand infront of him and start to tie the strings in the shorts around his waist. “no doll, they aren’t to big, they’re to small look” he motions his head to the way they’re straining around his thighs and he just wants to start crying again. “oh i see, we’ll theres nothing we can do there , is there? we’ll just buy another pair on the way.” how? he thinks. how are you not laughing in his face that his legs are to fat to fit in a pair of shorts that are 2 sizes to big for him? “i know what you’re thinking,” your soft voice breaks him out of his thoughts. “why is she not laughing at me huh? she probably thinks i’m fuckin’ ugly” you do your best to mimic his deep voice but just sound silly trying, making him let out a small laugh. “how many times have i told you how much i adore your legs hm? how many times have i done, such oh so sinful things on them while going on about how much i love them?. to many to count issei. so next time you think all those silly bad thoughts just think of me and every time i tell you nice things about them!”. now he’s definitely crying, but this time over how much your words helped him. and now he feels like a million dollars as he struts across the beach to the three men waiting for you with his neon orange shorts tied around his waist and clinging to his thighs. end story :))~

jesus i forgot about his legs. anyway, all his life he’s been told how ‘lanky he is’ and how long his legs are. this makes him feel like shit really,most of his jeans stop above his anlke so the only type of socks he had is the long ones that he uses to hide his ankles fromm people, making them think he has the perfect size. he’ll never forget the time he spent hours shopping with his mother and trying on countless pairs of trousers for an upcoming wedding that and they stop above his ankle. he feels embarrassed really, seeing the fitter tell him they can just get them custom made, but it’ll cost more plus the original price. watching how distressed his mother gets when he tells her how much it’ll be. he doesn’t want his mother spending that much money on a pair of trousers he’ll wear once so he butts in saying it’s fine and he’ll deal with it by wearing black socks and no one will notice. the same exact problem happens several years later except in his mother’s place is makki along with oikawa and iwa, watching him get fitted for your wedding. he tells himself ‘think of (y/n), think of (y/n) and how much she says she loves your legs’ but it’s hard to when all the other men have no problem finding the perfect suit size. he doesn’t want to pay extra for a custom suit but that’s what it looks like is going to happen.

-end <3

[kouhaiofcolor]

2020's finally over. Can we not go into 2021 pacifying texturism w "It's just hair" tho?

It was "just hair" until Black Women started exercising the freedom to discover the unique needs & maintenance beneficial to our hair. Then as soon as non black women got wind of it & the nerve to lurk on platforms the natural hair community was uprising thru, nowadays you've got all these non black women bandwagoning & hashtagging literally everything under the sun w/ this fake ass inclusiveness, advocacy, relatability & support for textured hair. Like all women have suffered oppression around wearing their real hair 😒. Like all races of women have been socially targeted in blatant discriminations against their hair texture, complexion, & how acceptable they are or are not together. I hate the "All Hair (Matters/Is Beautiful/Is 'Good Hair')" clout bc it talks over & totally overwrites the foundational issue around hair & toxic femininity that, at its misogynoir core, has always been that textured hair is unprofessional, unkempt, unmanageable, & ugly. Colorism also erases the initial creators of the movement — which were Monoracial Brown & Dark Skinned Black Women; put some respek onnat, period. Straight hair is not oppressed; wavy hair is not oppressed; all hair is not oppressed. Black hair is. This "all hair is good hair" bullshit is so monotonous & inconsiderate bc its almost like a passive aggressive refusal to acknowledge what antiblackness imposed on Black Women alone. None of you non black know what it's like in depth to be the descendants of a race of ppl who's features, traits & harmless existence have always been insulted, hated & envied by the whole world. Esp not all at once. That is something totally unique to us inflicted & imposed by everyone else since the beginning of time. So why be out here chasing clout under tags & movements & in spaces you are no real part of? Why wanna be a part of the Black Girl Experience that bad? Yall have identities in everything outside of us. Why vulture off of this like you even have reasons to be there? We were investing in ourselves & trying to teach generations of Monoracial Black People how to manage their hair texture & develop cathartic habits thru self care. Nb ppl ruined that.

Looser hair textures have omnipresent representation & acceptance all, over, the, world. There is no lack of being seen, romanticized or exemplified for having texture 1a-3b hair; esp on the prevalent basis around colorism we see regularly on social media & on tv. Yet what remains of the community as it stands is today the furthest thing from textured or Black at all. At this point we owe the decline (if not death) of the natural hair community to the parasitic latching of non black women, the infiltration of "pick me's" & antiblackness generally — but I still be feeling like even that's not direct enough. We're talking ab something authentic & wholesome for Monoracial Black Women created by us for us being straight up sabotaged by races of women the cause was totally irrelevant to & in regard of. Bc that's how cosmetic industries have been towards us for centuries. Bc we were always excluded & thought of least & last. By other women. By all other women; don't get it twisted. So we set out on figuring ourselves out. Doing research on our own. Incorporating self care & beneficial habits in our lives to nourish & feel better ab ourselves & disprove the racist shit non black cultures & ppl either ignorantly surmise, make up or project ab Black Girls. That includes Black Men too in case yall thought yall were safe. Yall are some of the most toxic & prevalent faces behind colorism, antiblackness & misogynoir among black ppl specifically.

But anyhow. At first a lot of the initiation of the vulturing in the nhc light skinned women were the face of. Esp w the clout around having 4c hair amongst the beige-est, most ambiguously or straight up non black individuals, good lord. Then it went mainstream for huwight ppl, whom enevitably invited themselves, & following were the masses of non black women looking to pillage for themselves while the community was being swallowed by the crowdedness & irrelevant content being put out there (specifically on YouTube, Twitter & Instagram) by "hair gurus" of the light skinned, biracial or non black texture 1a-3b variety. Hair gurus who literally may as well've fallen from the sky & met social media stardom overnight based on their hair texture & complexion alone they're so brand new. Hair gurus who aren't even in the community for legitimately informative reasons or purposes unionized in Blackness. They're whole natural hair niche be — as a favorite natural of mine put it — manipulating textured hair into a sort of submission to appear or behave like looser textures do. They'll swear by 'game changer' products they both mention & only use like once & insist you should invest in a $30 8oz. bottle of clarifying shampoo or a $35 cowash if you want your hair to behave & look like theirs. Again, mind you, these types of individuals casually claim having texture 4 hair when they're anything but, just for the attention it brings from both ppl who will gullibly follow their every word & who know what kind of scamming to look for & won't.

If it's "just hair", how come so many of you that are non black are riding the wave? If it's just hair, why have so many of you found refuge in using the hashtags & participating/contributing uninvited? How come so many ran to get a seat at the table w Black Women only to kick them to the side the more popular it became if its just hair? How come nobody was calling it natural hair before Black Women created the nhc & started growing their own? Why was there no natural hair community before Black Women coined it, reminder, for ourselves? If it's just hair, how come so many ran to youtube to begin w to start channels for their own non-textured journeys? If its just hair, why is the nhc so damn obsessed w defining curls & length than overall health & gradual growth? If its just hair, why are white girls anywhere near this? Yall are the most out of place of anyone, honestly. Even if you're curly. Why do light skinned girls get to both represent textured hair & "good hair"? How does that even make sense? Thats just putting monoracial black girls in isolated boxes they're not even allowed to be symbols of or in. If its just hair, why's it so unheard of to see the roles of Black female characters in just ab anything played by actual Black Women? If its just hair, why have so many non or partially Black women worked in ignorant succession to water down & essentially wash out the Monoracial Black Women vital to the community's relevance at all? I really do not get the involvement of non black women in this movement at all — esp when culturally you have no reason to call your hair natural. There are no & have never been prejudice notions around having or growing texture 1a-3b hair. There's nothing oppressive ab it, either. Yall have gotta stop w that. You've already made a mockery of something that was supposed to be beautiful by making yourselves comfortable in & hijacking our space itfp. Theres far too much misrepresentation of textured hair to keep up w now. This is why i say the nhc (as well as culture vulturing generally) has just become nbwoc copying white women copying light skinned women copying Black Women, bc the audacity is unreal.

Its not just hair tho. To those it applies to, yall proved that the minute Black Women started going public w their growth journeys. The minute conversations ab "shrinkage this & 4c that" broadened & went mainstream. Yall couldn't move all at once fast enough when you realized you weren't as special as you thought & had always been told — esp w melanin at its modern value. Now all yall either "natural", seeking black men for either casual sex or cultural infiltration via fetishised reproduction, certain you have texture 4 hair or know the best tips for a DIY silk press 🤭😂 yall can't sit w us. You don't belong here. I'm calling yall out on allll the bs around this "All Hair Matters" garbage, cus yall are now sputtering the same shit while literally wearing your own non black hair in black styles. Be consistent. Make some fucking sense. I don't wanna be part of this fake ass girl squad propaganda that says every other woman never looked at Black Women's hair like it was bottomest of the barrel, foh. We're not on the same team & yall know it.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you think the polycule has any holiday traditions?

POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! YESSSSSSSSSS

that's actually a pretty interesting question because the polycule is very culturally diverse. like of course we have simon who's jewish, but the rest is kind of in a weird place. i'm pretty sure shadowhunters don't have holidays at all, and since clary was raised by a shadowhunter and a former shadowhunter, i'm pretty sure she would have been raised without any either? like maybe she'd celebrate the gregorian new year because you know, they have to pretend to be mundane after all, but i think that and birthdays were probably pretty much it for her. oh and halloween i guess which is also not religious-affiliated, are there any other holidays in the states? i guess there's the 4th of july and thanksgiving but both celebrate imperialism/colonialism and i don't want to write about that so i'm gonna pretend there aren't. plus i doubt shadowhunters celebrated those either

so ok we have izzy and clary with no holidays, we don't know whether or not maia is culturally christian and i don't wanna just say "yes" by default... and then there's meliorn whose holidays and traditions will be typical to seelie culture, which are gonna be... unique to them obviously. we don't know how they are celebrated, how long they last, what is the milestone, how or even IF they count time - like maybe they go by when a specific flower blooms and that only happens every 10 gregorian years or some shit. so that's a question mark i guess

and there's also the fact that the seelie realm is very politically closed which. i like to think changes once they get rid of the old queen! but it's still a slow process to just allow other people there. then again izzy was a shadowhunter and she used to hop by so it's probably not a huge deal for meliorn to bring their partners and metamours to seelie celebrations? or at least to the ones that aren't Super Sacred or anything. so like parties and dances and stuff like that? yeah. which i guess brings me back to the other "meta" i wrote about seelie dances (link) and what it would be like for the rest of the polycule to participate in those and shit

then... well obviously there's the gregorian new year which we have obviously just gone through (well, we had when i started answering this ask. it's march now so rip. update it's april now. i'm so sorry anon) so like! i think it was always kind of hell for both raphael and maia, autistic icons, because of all the explosion sounds that just made them feel really upset and feel really stupid for it. with raphael i think it was more bearable when he had rosa because she would spend the day with him and hug him and let him squeeze the stress out you know dauhdasuihda also she was always the one he felt the most comfortable stimming in front of. and then after he lost her it only got worse because on top of the fireworks there was the clear absence of rosa that he just FELT everywhere. you know?

and with maia there's the added trouble of her being AMAB and what with being raised to "black men" standarts of masculinity (to be clear, as in: due to racism black men are expected to be even more macho than white men, ESPECIALLY by nonblack ppl; not as in wow black ppl are so backwards or whatever. white ppl invented gender norms anyway so lmao), she was definitely shamed a lot for being so distressed by the fireworks when she was little methinks. we love that combination of transphobia, racism and ableism! so it was just hard and filled with bad memories. and then once she ran away from home it got marginally better without the constant telling her to "man up" and shit like that, but it still came with the added memories you know

and also with them (plus simon) being vampires/werewolves the hearing gets even more sensitive so that's... fun. meliorn realizes it stresses them out and makes up a special kind of spell that muffles their hearing of background noise, so they can feel more comfortable and for the first time there is not that added stress that comes with the new years and it feels so nice?? they even try watching the fireworks but it's kinda like eh, not that great, especially because even looking at them brings out memories you know doahdsaoh so instead meliorn shows them some magic and it's so much prettier with all the glowing lights and stuff, you know?

maybe after that the polycule starts spending the new years in the seelie realm instead, that'd be cute, just like. enjoying that pretty place with all the lights and shit. i think they would all prepare some kind of light show some way or another like using magic and witchlights and whatnot. that'd be cute

as for other holidays! i think their holiday traditions would start with simon's first yom kippur after he was able to eat solid foods again (shut up a potion WILL be created and i don't accept any other option). before that, with simon being unable to eat, he was also obviously unable to fast. he wouldn't feed during yom kippur but it's not like vampires need to drink blood every day so it's not really the same thing. and it felt particularly lonely that, besides being away from his family and community, he also couldn't fast

i mean obviously simon isn't the only jewish vampire in the world, or jewish downworlder for that matter, so i'm sure he makes jewish friends he would at least get together and pray with for yom kippur, and that's what matters the most, really, but being unable to fast when he wants to and also not being able to participate in the break-fast meal just. sucks djdnudhsus

and then he's able to eat and he can do all that again! but it's also kind of emotionally charged for all of the vampires to fast for the first time when for so long they associated not eating with feeling unhuman, you feel? so like it kind of hits all of them hard

so the polycule decides to make him a little surprise and cooks the break-fast meal for them. clary probably knows what simon and his family used to eat after yom kippur so they try to recreate that for him? and maia and raphael are lowkey nervous about it because they had never made stuff like noodle kugel before and while they could at least try it (yay potion!) they have no idea if it's tasting like it should, ya know what i mean? and it's kind of sweet that they are so worried about making this the best possible experience for simon and the closest to home it can get. and simon is super emotional about getting to eat that stuff for the first time, as well as the other vampires, so you know. it's very emotional all around. but in a good way? and i think after that it kind of becomes a tradition that they make him the break-fast meal after yom kippur too

and then the next years they lowkey fuss over him for the last meal before the fast too, which i'm not sure is something simon would do with other people so they would go ham, dude, particularly raphael because he is a worrier first and foremost. so catch his ass all lovingly planning a meal he can make with zero (0) salt whatsoever so simon doesn't get too thirsty during the fast for MONTHS, planning so he gets the most amount of sustenance, lots of fiber, etc., and simon is like "you know i don't even have to eat, right?" but rapha is just all "you know food still matters" and simon doesn't say anything because it does. it matters a lot

and raphael is all sweetly nervous because like... it is a simple meal, that is the point, but he still wants simon to enjoy it and simon can't stop smiling through the whole thing. raphael and the others also eat it with him too in solidarity before simon goes to the synagogue with his community and it's like a sweet send off you know?

also this is not exactly a celebration or a tradition for that matter but since YK is the day of forgiveness i like to think that eventually simon asks for raphael's forgiveness on YK for the whole rosa thing, and although that isn't religious for raphael, raphael asking for his forgiveness for how everything went down, too. and it's just a sweet moment where they leave this whole story behind and look for a better future - i imagine this happening before they get together, so again, it doesn't really count as an answer to your question, but i just thought i'd include it because i find it sweet

then after that there is sukkot and i just really loove the idea of them helping him build the sukkah (for those who don't know, the sukkah is a hut covered with vegetation under the open sky, where jewish ppl live in for the duration of the sukkot). i know that they could just buy a certified one but where is the fun in that when we could have shenanigans? also i think that that would have been part of simon's personal/family traditions because i bet him and becca loved to build the sukkah for their family. so like on that spirit it is a little sad that they can't help each other with that anymore since simon can't be seen by the rest of his family, but of course as soon as he mentions it and how fun it used to be the whole polycule is Immediately On Board. let's help simon build his sukkah!

first of all other than simon none of them have ever built a sukkah before and simon usually followed becca's lead tbh, also he's just not great to Lead And Control people in general, and the polycule is already messy as all fuck. so it's a disaster, especially with raphael and simon's superspeed and strength thrown into the mix, and meliorn's almost impossible to hold back mischievous nature. izzy is lowkey responsible for keeping them in check and okay now that i think about it clary might have helped simon's family build it before, especially when she was a kid because kids just love that shit, but i don't know if she would remember the steps tbh (read: she wouldn't remember the steps) so yeah all in all the sukkah falls down more often than not and they might have to replace a few materials when simon and raphael accidentally snap their bamboo poles in half. rip

meliorn is probably all like "you are all weak and pathetic, i am a seelie, i can literally control living things. simon needs a vegetable covering? watch me get all the nearby trees to form a beautiful roof" and simon is like "actually the sechach cannot be alive" and meliorn slowly dies because they have no power over dead nature. also simon forbids magic usage in general because this needs to be an authentic building experience for him, so meliorn is left as the most useless one since they only have experience building these things using magic and the help of the trees or whatever

also i bet they would love to go EXTREMELY hard on the lights and decorations. i know that hassidic and to my understanding general orthodox jewish communities don't decorate the sukkah but i don't hc simon as part of those communities so i think he would want to decorate the sukkah. like even if it isn't fully covered in decorations, he would want what few he has to be well done, you know what i mean? like he would want to make the holiday posters himself (i dont know if it would be appropriate for clary to help make these but if it would, she totally would and i like the idea of simon giving her a very specific prompt to make the posters and clary doing it for him, you know? and maybe them all helping paint it with colorful themes), making decorations, and okay, at the very least fairy lightning? please? come on. it's another whole ass dramatic experience to get electricity in there so that's fun for sure, but i think meliorn and maia in particular would be all over the idea of making a pretty lightning system, and simon is definitely not gonna complain because he loves pretty things and the idea sounds rad. raphael smiles fondly through it all and basically saves the day by being the only one with organizational skills who is actually able to help them make a working plan for the sukkah

(catch these idiots making a blueprint. TRY and tell me they wouldn't)

(every year they make a new blueprint and the sukkah has different designs and proportions - always following the requirements like having four at least 32 inches tall walls, of course - and they start completely anew. the sechach must always be new but not the general structure, but they redo the structure anyway because again, it's fun)

and then of course they have meals together in the sukkah for the duration of sukkot and just idk i really dig the idea of the lot of them holding trays of food wearing oven mitts as they get inside and turn on the lights and it feels really nice and sweet you know? and then of course promptly turns kind of messy because it's their way but that's what they want. also, at least once a year they manage to sneak becca in for a meal with simon in the sukkah and they are just both so happy and aaaaa :')

and that's how "kidnapping" becca so she can see simon and his sukkah becomes another tradition lmao. they do it in the most dramatic full of flair way they possibly can while still not being found out and then promptly tell simon all about it in the most dramatic and exaggerated retelling during the meal, which always makes both simon and becca laugh (reality: becca just told her parents she would be off for a few hours to do some school thing or something and then they picked her up and she got a superspeed piggyback ride so she and simon wouldn't miss a minute. their story: "it all began with a carefully planted lie,")

there's also pesach which many (reform) jewish friends of mine have told me they like to do with goyim because the whole point of that holiday is to welcome strangers and share jewish history, so i think simon would like to do that as well. so yeah i think simon would enjoy having them with him during the Pesach Seder - again i think simon would want to be with his other jewish friends but it would be fun because they all could bring their pet goyim that they know would be respectful and nice to have around, run the Seder, and celebrate with them. also for their first one i think simon would have gotten excited about explaining the order/15 steps to them, so like cue lots of fond looks as simon tells them everything about it, how this is the first time he'll be able to have the feast, the four cups of wine, and how he's excited even to have the bitter herbs again. and then over the years they all become pretty much used to the 15 steps, they come naturally, they know what to expect, they already know the story of the Exodus after retelling it every year, and it's nice both when it's new and he gets to share and when it starts to be something in their element because it became their tradition and they want to be there with simon for the holidays, you know what i mean?

then there's purim!!!!!!!! god they would sure have so much fun on purim it gets me really excited to think about. purim might be the one that they get to participate the most in from what i've seen, and i have lots of thoughts about it, like:

first of all, making hamantaschen!! they each make a batch with a different stuffing and it's lowkey a competition and lowkey a surprise and as always with cooking together it is very fun and homey. and also kind of silly as they usually are, but purim is a holiday that is kind of supposed to be silly and for ppl to let go so it matches that mood, you know what i mean? like they're all covered in flour and "stop trying to LOOK at what i'm making!" and blind testing and stuff

then, food gifts! so from what i've seen it is preferable that the food gifts jewish ppl send each other on purim are sent by a third party, which is usually a kid, but they don't know many kids and i really like the idea of the polycule serving as simon's messengers for the day lmao. going everywhere round the shadow world and beyond ("hey mel since you can portal i have this friend in argentina-") and then bringing him the other gifts people send simon in return :)

dressing up in costumes! there is absolutely no way simon doesn't dress up for purim and the whole polycule is absolutely dragged into it, including an absolutely reluctant raphael. it quickly becomes a tradition tho that they change costumes every year and try to make them funnier and more outrageous (as you do) as time goes by. trust the polycule to turn pretty much everything into a competition. and simon always laughs with so much glee and joy when he gets to see what everyone dresses up as so really, how could they say no?

(maia "wins", like, every year. she is totally huge on costumes and her and simon are very attuned in that sense, so, you know. catch her dressing up as memes and just generally making the most creative costumes. she may or may not think them months and months ahead of time)

maybe they hold purim meals with particularly themed costumes every once in a while when they want to spice it up, but i think generally it's more of a freestyle thing

simon also loves reading the purim torah tbh, it's just fun. and then of course there's the megillah and booing when haman's name is mentioned. they are all banned from using graggers because half of them have superstrength and the other half doesn't technically have superstrength but is still super strong and they destroyed the poor thing on accident after the first ten seconds when they tried

food yay! and the very long meal. they usually get pretty drunk, tbh, at least the ones that can. and just generally i think it's one of their favorite celebrations to do together and more often than not ends in them all curled up together in the couch so u know, that's sweet uwu

and then of course rosh hashanah, which is the holiest joyous day in jewish tradition, so of course it's a huge deal for them all. and i just think they would all be super excited about making the evening (especially the meal ofc) the most incredible for simon it could possibly be. again i think simon would want to spend it with his downworlder jewish friends and community, and they probably have their own synagogue they go to together and everything, so obviously they are all involved in making preparations for rosh hashanah, but i like to think the polcyule and simon's friends' pet goyim would help with what they can as well (provided it's not something that should be done by a jewish person like baking the challah; but if not with cooking, they would at least want to help with stuff like decorations and the like. honestly i imagine all of simon's partners sitting together very seriously with a paper in front of them writing down all the stuff they can do to help with rosh hashanah preparations and everything. especially once they learn that like being happy/joyous is a mitzvah so they're just like "we want to make u as happy as possible then :)" and it's sweet and simon may or may not tear up a little)

and then we have other holidays that aren't associated with religion like halloween, which was kind of implied to be the official downworld holiday, so i'm pretty sure they go big on that too. not dressing up because again, one day where they can all afford to be themselves, but definitely meeting up at the hunter's moon, getting spectacularly drunk, roasting the mundane's costumes, and then once they get back to whichever of them's homes, watching some shitty movies and throwing stuff at the screen together

i'm on the fence about día de muertos. i know it's not exactly a sad holiday but i feel like it is for raphael because it kind of represents everything he's lost - his culture and his family, and he can't even go to the parade during the day, you know, although i'm not sure that would have been his thing, but i do think he would have loved to watch the arrival of the monarchs when he was a kid but he'd have to be in méxico for that. and particularly after he lost rosa i just feel like it would have been so emotionally charged for him, you know? he would definitely make her an altar every year and it would be just... big and well thought-out and something really emotional and important for him, welcoming his little sister back the best he can. and i feel like that's something he'd want to do alone because my boy loves to punish himself

but there are little things i think they would have wanted to do with him, and that they might push a little to be able to, like being with him while he eats by the altar and hearing him tell stories about rosita. and i think they would help him "undo" (?) the altar once día de muertos is over, which is always extra emotional for him and aaa. and then the next day they kind of just get to be with him and cuddle a little bit as he recovers emotionally, you know?

also it has just occured to me that raphael is christian shit fuck fart bitch cock. so okay i guess that puts xmas and easter somewhat on the map? again mostly for food. us latinos celebrate xmas on the eve, not on xmas day, and raphael is totally the insufferable xmas meal obsessed bitch who's on the kitchen all day and refuses to let anyone help (he can't pull that particular stunt for the meals they have for simon's holidays obviously but he can on xmas soo). but it's worth it because it is always a great one. and he also gives a lot of thought into getting everyone presents so that is sweet and it earns him lots of kisses on the cheek and stuff. and that's pretty much it for latino xmas, we don't really do stuff i'm still not convinced gringos haven't made up like the socks and the eggnog and xmas music (????) so it's more lowkey. and i think raphael would keep the more religious aspects of it to the stuff he does at church (again, there are downworlder religious communities idk what to tell u) and for the nursery home. which is not to say that like... oh wow xmas is totally not a xtian holiday! or whatever, just that the version the polycule does is more lowkey on the religious aspects and the things they do together on that day are more about being together with raphael on a day that matters to him, you know, especially since again, he is the only xtian and that's gonna be a sensitive thing for simon especially

and i think for easter it is mostly something they do to shower maia in sweets lmao. again she misses chocolate and i'm sure they spend a lot of their time trying to figure out how to get around that, either be by like trying to make special chocolate that doesn't make her sick or sweets that really really resemble chocolate or that are so good she doesn't even mind that she can't eat chocolate anymore. so that's their tradition for easter (and raphael goes to church ofc)

oh yeah and i forgot valentine's day! i have this funny little idea just for the shits where they have this little thing where they setup one-on-one dates for all the parts that are actually together and each of them lasts, like, 10 minutes (poor maia who dates everyone is just running around town) and it's more about the fun of running around from one day to the other like this is a bad romcom where some bastard is trying to juggle having two (monog) girlfriends at once. but then they actually get all together at the end of the day and trade presents and funny cards both among their dates and metamours ("roses are red, violets are blue, you're my girlfriend's girlfriend, and i love you platonically"). usually ending up with them drunk and debating how exactly they got to this overly complicated arrangement and trying to figure out the best way to explain this to an outsider and trying to make, like, fluxograms that explain all of their different relationships visually and they all look so messy it just leaves them more confused lmao. so yeah it's fun

and i think that's all i've got? i say, as if this answer isn't longer than anyone will have the time to read and took me over 4 months to write. but anyway

a special thanks to "a group where non-jews can ask questions about judaism and jews can answer" on facebook and all my jewish friends for helping me write about the jewish holidays and customs. i also used the following sources: Rosh Hashanah (link), how to build the sukkah (link), more on the sukkah (link), how to celebrate purim (link), more on purim (link), how to celebrate passover (link), what is a passover seder like (link), laws of yom tov (link), yom kippur (link), what to eat before and after yom kippur (link), a classic yom kippur breakfast menu (link), menus for the pre yom kippur meal (link). if there's anything inaccurate or disrespectful, however, please let me know, and feel free to add more ideas as well if you're jewish :)

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[spiderstyles04]

COBRA KAI SN 3 SPOILERS

Episode 1:

Can’t stand the fact that they’re trying to make Sam the victim, fuck the white bitch 😤. (okay yeah she’s kinda the victim but like she deserves to be blamed)

I can’t stand the fact that everybody keeps trying to make Robby the villain (ik he’s MIA, but the words they’re calling him make me wanna punt their asses into oblivion 🧎🏽‍♂️🏌️)

Episode 2:

Kreese is actually fucking sadistic wtf.

fuck men (esp. those that prey on young girls).

cops @ the prison rlly said: “I aint see nothin at all -👄-“.

wow so you can definitely see who is Johnny’s priority! Instead of continuing to look for his missing son, he went to go see Miguel🖕🏻.

and Miguel is like boohoo why’d this happen to me it’s all Johnny’s fault. Uh no it’s partially yours for accelerating the fight. Shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of a fight if you wanted to come out unharmed.

Robby blaming himself for everything and worry abt the others before himself is making me cry my eyes out pls 😭😖.

Daniel fucking Larusso rlly said let’s catch this scared teenage boy off guard and have a cop sneak up on him and arrest him

Episode 3:

I hate that Robby is in jail but he looks hot af

Not the LaRussos blaming Robby’s grudge on him being a teenage. Like you literally had a cop sneak up on a terrified kid and you expect him to take your calls???? I think tf not.

Sksks Sam rlly out here acting like Tory got angry outta nowhere and that she had no reason for being brutal. Yeah having a bad background doesn’t justify bullying but you kinda provoked her. YOU KISSED ANOTHER GIRL’S BOYFRIEND WHILE YOU HAD ONE OF YOUR OWN. SUCK IT UP AND SHUT UP LIL BABY.

Not Robby fighting with guys in prison over their comments abt Sam of all ppl 💀 she’s the reason you’re in there and she cheated, what the fuck are you defending her for?

sad puppy Robby is making me tear up shit I love him too much to see him in pain 😖

God I hate Eli. Imagine being jealous of not being able to creative enough to raise money for your friend so you resort to stealing the money from the only ones able to get money for him 💀.

“Douche clown” BAHAHA.

NOT JOHNNY MISSING OUT ON SEEING ROBBY BC HE WAS WITH MIGUEL HE COULD’VE CALLED AND LET HIM KNOW FUCK JOHNNY

Episode 4:

NOT JOHNNY ASSUMING THAT ROBBY IS THE ONE STARTING FIGHTS (reminds me of Jess and Rory from Gilmore Girls when she accused him of fighting with Dean when rlly he just got attacked by a bird)

I love that Robby is telling Johnny off like PERIODT KING GO OFF

Nah if some idiot wrecked my lego diagram that took me weeks to build, I’d knock him on his ass no hesitation. Idgaf if I got expelled

Not the counselor completely disregarding the fact that Dimitri’s project was wrecked

Every time Johnny enters Robby’s life, he just makes shit harder for him. I feel horrible for my bby

Kreese has a god complex & I wanna put him in the ground 🕳👨🏻‍🦽👩🏽‍🦯

Little miss princess got some anger issues oop

Not Johnny making a paralyzed kid get out of bed 💀

THOSE KIDS IN JUVIE BOUTA FEEL MY WRATH MFRS DISRESPECTING ROBBY MAKE ME WANNA SKSKSJSB

KREESE BETTER BACK THE EVERLOVING FUCK AWAY FROM MY BBY ROBBY I WILL NOT HESITATE TO RECREATE A CRIMINAL MINDS EPISODE WITH YOUR BODY GRANDPA DONT TEST ME

Episode 5:

Robby basically telling Kreese to fuck off and tell talk to “somebody who gives a shit” is everything to me I love him

Not Johnny using a sex magazine to motivate Miguel 🤢

If Robby gets back with Sam I will RIOT

Imagine taking pleasure from terrorizing others and children sksksk couldn’t be me

Damn it Robby you shouldn’t be fighting. It’s only gonna make your sentence worse bby. Ik he’s an asshole, but you gotta be the bigger man

The fight in the lazer tag place I- not even gonna comment

YAY MIGUEL GOT SOME MOVEMENT BACK IN HIS LEGS

POP OFF MRS. LARUSSO YOU PUT KREESE IN HIS PLACE

Episode 6:

I’m glad Eli is abt to get the vibe check he deserves

Miguel rlly should choose what he says more wisely like sir you can’t just tell the angry mentally unstable girl that she needs help sksksksk those are words of war to her

Oh Mrs. LaRusso getting in on the action lmao

Episode 7:

Damn Tory rlly wakes up every day and chooses violence uh it was a dream nvm

There’s no fooking way Miguel recovered from a spinal injury so quickly 🙄 also why’d they throw away the wheelchair??? That shit is expensive af

Imagine having a dad that actually feels genuinely bad for not keep up with your life SKSK couldn’t be me

I haven’t seen Robby in a hot minute and I’m getting pissed abt it.

I love when ppl tell Eli off. Gives me a diff kind of joy

tf is Eagle Fang sksksks

@ Kreese: Bye bitch 🥴

Episode 8:

THE DIFFERENCE BTWN THE THREE DOJOS IS SO FUNNY BAHAHAHAH

I cant believe they’re dicusssing Kreese when they’re abt to pick up Robby I- none of these men are fit to be stable father figured to him

Glad Robby told them to fuck off bc when the going gets tough, unfortunately, they will always choose someone else over Robby

But I’m all here for Miguel’s character development. Looks like soon I’ll have a total of 2 characters that I like on this show

NOT ROBBY DEFENDING SAM FOR CHEATING AND CALLING IT A MISTAKE PLS YOU ARE SO NAIVE SHUT UP SHES A STUPID GIRL WHO THINKS SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING PLS OPEN YOUR EYES

Eyyy go off Miguel preach

Nvm fuck that. I’m glad Robby walked in on Miguel and Sam flirting so he could see she isn’t all she’s cracked up to be. I’m glad he’s telling them off. I just hate that they’re making him out to be a villain, AGAIN UGH

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO IF ONLY YALL COULD HEAR MY SCREAM OF ANGUISH WHEN ROBBY WALKED THROUGH THE DOORS OF COBRA KAI BABY NO YOURE THE GOOD GUY DONT GO WITH THE FUCKING PSYCHOTIC ASSHAT PLEASE

Episode 9:

Fuck fuck fuck I’m terrified for this episode

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄

oh shit Ali...

Trouble is in the air....

Miguel and Sam 🙄😀

Oh so Robby is back in his sn 1 wardrobe... 🤬

OH I SWEAR FOR FUCKS SAKE IF TORY AND ROBBY GET TOGETHER I WILL STOP WATCHING THIS SHOW FOR GOOD ISTG

PERIODT ROBBY DENY THE BEER A WISE DECISION

Not you making bad decisions again Robby smh we’re trying to keep you out of jail

I repeat... if Robby and Tory get together I am RIOTING

Fuck Johnny

Episode 10 - final episode:

I am the quintessential example of seething anger. If I was an anime character, I’d have steam coming out of my ears and a tic mark on my forehead smh

BAHAHAH DANIEL’S GLACES TO JOHNNY ARE SENDING ME

Tory has got some anger issues that surpass even my own, and that’s saying something

Also why tf are they fighting in Sam’s house??? Like I don’t like her but thats not only trespassing passing on private property, but the damages they’re causing are gonna cost a buttload

I’m just glad that Robby isn’t there to fight. Thank you bby

I LOVE THE MUSIC IN THE FIGHT SCENE WE LOVE SOME ROCK CHRISTMAS INSTRUMENTALS

I love the fact that Eli is realizing how fucking stupid he’s been acting

NO ROBBY DONT FIGHT JOHNNY YOU DONT KNOW THE FULL PICTURE BABY STOP BEING FUCKING DUMB

NO JOHNNY THREW ROBBY INTO THE LOCKERS FUCK IS HE OKAY IS BABY OKAY

DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT KREESE DONT PICK IT UP YOU GERIATRIC ASSWIPE

NO ROBBY IS FULLY UNCONSCIOUS FUCK IF I WAS THERE I WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP BC IM FIRST AID TRAINED AND CPR CERTIFIED CALL 911 JOHNNY

YAY DANIEL TO THE RESCUE

I’m still crying over Robby fuck

Everybody over here hashing shit out and Robby is inside the dojo like X👄X

NVM HES OKAY HES WALKING IT OFF

NO GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP BITCH BC YOURE STILL NOT THINKING STRAIGHT WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH KREESE GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

Anyways all in all, fuck season 3 gn

[willowistic22]

Please... (Redfinch)

Albert has been thrown to the refuge before. It was an ugly story but at least it prepared him from what was coming when he got thrown in again. But Finch? This was his first time learning on his own how relentless Snyder is...

Word count: 3302

Part : [1 this] - (if ppl like this i’ll make more parts)

Warnings: Blood, abuse, torture, knife cuts, restraints, mentions of death, beatings, cussing (no surprise there lol), in short this is a whump fic. I probably missed some warnings and if I did please let me know!

A/N: Hello, yes, I am well aware that I’ve vanished from my fanfic writing spree. It’s gonna be more common now because school is more hectic online than irl. Anyways, i came up with this idea when I was in the middle of having writers block from writing another wip and ended up finishing this one whoops. I also like ignored the remainder of requests from my inbox not bcs i don’t want to do them but i haven’t gotten the time. Especially since this is October and my school always have special plans on October so I’m sorry. But, hey I got a fic out! ENJOY! (might make this a three part thing if you guys want idk) 

[ @jaelynn-is-slightly-confused i did it.......................... ]

The first time he got sent to this hellspace was years ago, and fortunately for Albert it only lasted for four days before he was able to bust out. Odd how he thought something would be different. He expected the treatment would stay the same, no surprise there. The bounded limbs, the painful souvenirs smeared all over his body, being left to fend for your own life, none of this was new. And yet, Al thought maybe something physical about this awful settlement would be different. Maybe painting the walls a different color? Cleaning the little drops of blood on the floor?

A funny idea to be thinking about in this kind of situation. But he needed something to calm him down. Something to distract him from the pain all over his body. The bruises from punches, the strangling feeling made by a strong pair of hands ghosting his neck, the cuts from a knife marking his skin, the pain in his wrists while they’re tightly bound to each other with a rope, basically everything that’s been given to him the minute he arrived here. 

An itch in his throat triggered him to go on a coughing fit. It made him feel every inch of pain all over his torso as he reached for that itch. He ends up opening his eyes after spending a long time closing them. 

His senses are now hyper focused on everything around him. Albert can feel the coarse cement wall through the back of his shirt. It’s the only thing making him sit up properly while he spreads his legs out on the dirty floor, just as equally coarse as the wall. He can see streaks of lights coming from the tiny windows on the wall he’s leaning onto. The only light source provided for this basement. 

There isn’t anything in here. Most of the kids held in the refuge would stay up stairs. Rooms provided with rickety bunks where at least six kids slept all at once. Big scary men put on guard on every corner with batons, ready to strike when a kid acted up. You only get sent down to the basement, or what most kids would say the ‘torture chamber’, when the ungoldy amount of scars already given to you haven’t made you obey anything they say. And Albert has been a huge pain in the ass. 

The sound of the heavy metal door opening bounces on the walls, pulling Albert’s consciousness away from the distraction forming in his head as he was about to close his eyes for another rest. Slow footsteps climbing down the wooden stairs echoes throughout the room. A weak light slowly gets stronger as the footsteps get louder in Al’s ears. 

The sound of the footsteps against the wooden stairs turn into strong assertive steps on the concrete floor. Al weakly darts his eyes up at the big man, bringing a candle in one hand and a lit cigarette hanging loosely in his mouth. 

“Good to see you again, Al!” Snyder exclaimed after huffing out a cloud of smoke, a devilish grin painting his face. 

“Wish I could say the same to you” Albert voiced as best as he could, hoarse but Snyder could hear the hatred behind it. 

The beaten up redhead proceeds to spit at his captor’s shoes with a glare. In return, Snyder chuckles out whilst shaking his head. 

“You think that’s funny?” Snyder challenged. 

“Actually, I do!”

In the matter of seconds, Snyder gets closer and viciously grabs Albert by the neck with a tight grip. He holds him up with one hand on the neck, high with his back up against the wall. 

Despite his throat being seconds away from being totally crushed, he was able to hold up his glare. The pain is unimaginable, but his smile remains. Albert is not giving in to obeying this man in any way. Not even the fear he’s trying to assert on him. 

“Fearless. I admire that” Snyder notes, curiously tilting his head as he examines the details of his face. 

“Thanks. My parents are pretty proud of that too” Albert needed some effort to get the words out, but thought it was definitely worth the pain to see the displeased look in Snyder. 

“And very stubborn...” 

They lock their eyes in a glare, none of them showing any sign of turning away. 

“I’ll have to fix that attitude…” Snyder exclaimed. He turns towards the stairs leading upstairs and shouts, “Bring ‘em in” 

The door opened, followed by a sound of two men viciously telling someone to obey their orders. Not a moment later, a tumbling noise reveals a weak body being pushed down the stairs and onto the concrete floor with a loud thud. Their back was facing Al, so he didn’t know who that was. 

But Al noticed the newsboy cap, lying on the floor not far from the figure. It was thrown away from their head when they fell down the stairs. The cap looks eerily familiar. God, did Albert hope it wasn’t who he thinks it is…

The two men from earlier came down. One uses his feet to flip over the person they’ve just thrown down here, along with the bound wrists with the same rope as Al dropping in front of their chest. With the minimal light provided by the little windows and now the presence of Snyder’s candle, Albert can tell who they’ve just thrown in. 

His smirk slowly drops at the sight of the weak boy. His hazel eyes no longer glaring at his captor, but staring helplessly at the body lying on the floor. Blond hair no longer electrified as it used to. Al’s favorite face to cradle no longer looks the same as before. Eyes still clenched shut. Snyder smirks, seeing his tactic has shown some progress. And he barely did anything yet. 

“Not so funny now, huh?” Snyder taunted under his breath, only Albert was able to hear it, “Should’ve brought the boy into the mix sooner…” 

Snyder loosens his grip around Al’s neck, but he’s soon held up once again by two of Snyder’s henchmen. One holds down his shoulders, pinning him up against the wall, and another by the chest and stomach. 

Snyder makes his way to the boy on the ground with lazy steps. Albert can see him reaching for something under his jacket. It was soon revealed to be a knife once he playfully glides it in the air while kneeling down to the boy. He throws away his burnt out cigarette and places the candle on the floor, not far from the helpless body. He grabs the boy’s chin to make him look up with his free hand, smiling like the devil when he hears the boy whimpering from his touch. 

“I’m not one to like guys… but this one’s clearly a looker, don’t you think?” Snyder examines the face in his hand. 

Albert’s temper was acting up, but his struggles to break free from the strong grip was instantly met with punches to the stomach. The bruises from earlier makes the pain hurt even more. With a silent raise of two fingers, Snyder made the two henchmen stop the punching. It gives Albert some time to settle in with the pain. 

Another signal from Snyder, and the henchmen drops Al on the floor and leaves the basement to the three. Albert’s head was up against the concrete floor, taking in the cold and dusty texture. 

He’s on the same eye level as the boy. A desperate gaze towards the innocent face now full of blood, water, dust, and dirt all smudged together on his skin. Al could see more details, maybe bruises or cuts covered up by the smudges. 

“Come on now, Finch! You’re invited to the party!” Snyder said to the boy, bringing his face right to his own. It forces him to slightly sit up, whimpering along as his body is getting forced under all that pain, “The least you could do is appreciate the invitation” 

It was the order to open his eyes. God knows what Snyder would do if he didn’t. The action reveals a pair of Albert’s favorite blue eyes, but fear clouds it along with the redness caused from what he assumes to be a lot of crying. 

Finch never loses his composure. He’s that cool and mysterious guy everyone is intrigued by. Either have a cool smirk or a neutral quiet face at all times. He doesn’t express his feelings freely, so it keeps people guessing. But those tear streaks, shaky limbs, pressed down sobs in his throat, that wasn’t usual. Albert may have seen him vulnerable, but this wasn’t the romantic and soft side of him that he’s used to. This was genuine fear. 

“I know you’re not one to follow orders from me…” Snyder started, guiding Finch to sit up properly. His unbalanced head moves along with the dazing motion in his mind. In a split second, the sound of a slap echoes through the room. Finch falling helplessly the moment his huge hand connects to his cheek. With a little yelp from the pain, he’s back on the ground, desperately holding back his sobs and scrunching his eyes shut. 

“... But I’m sure we could… make some changes to that” Snyder continued, turning his head around to face Albert. 

By now, Al found the little strength to prop himself up to sit up against the wall again. He snarls, pushing Snyder to smile to his own amusement.

“I see progress being made!” He exclaimed with an unsettling grin after noting his silence. He turns back to face Finch, “Let’s see how much of that we can get for today’s session…” 

Snyder drags Finch by the ropes that ties his arms together up till it can reach the rusty old hook attached to the ceiling. He gasps at the pain in his wrists carrying his entire weight up on the hook, all the pain being stretched out. The tip of his toes grazed the floor and his head hung low.

The same knife from earlier makes its way to press on Finch’s chest. Albert had only realized his shirt was unbuttoned just now and takes in all the horrifying scars. It ranges from faint purples and blues and very clear red and pink lines, all of which are smeared across his body. The cold blade hasn’t cut through his skin, but it made Finch’s senses hyper focused. Lungs working at full force, loud breathing and rapid chest movements. He thought he was just playing tricks, making him think he’s seconds away from cutting some skin. 

When he least expected it, the blade drew another line just below his collar bone. It causes the boy to let out a half suppressed yelp. Snyder dragged the knife so slow, Finch could feel every bit of the pain. 

“Wait! Stop!” Albert could only yell from a distance. 

“Thought we’ve managed to get you to shut up...” Snyder turns his head a little to see Albert behind his shoulder. He digs the blade an inch deeper into Finch’s skin, causing a little cry to finally escape his lips but soon was suppressed once again. 

“He has nothin’ to do with this!” 

Albert shifts a bit loudly. It instantly alerts Snyder, causing him to fully turn his head towards him with a glare.

“Try getting any closer, and I’ll slit his throat open right now!” Snyder growled, firmly holding the blade against the weak throat. It made Finch pull his head up to avoid getting cut, inevitably forcing his eyes to open to stay cautious around it. 

Albert locks his eyes in Finch’s desperate gaze back at him. A silent cry for help, which only made Al furious because he can’t do anything. He wants to wipe his tears away, clean his face, and just hold him tight against his chest. Get the two back to the lodge where their friends are waiting. Everything in his power to get Finch away from any more torture. 

Snyder smiled at Albert’s compliance, forcibly settling his body back on the wall. 

“Atta, boy,” He said, turning his head back to face Finch. He grabs a fistful of blonde curls and whispers, “See? Told’ja he’d listen to you” 

Snyder pulls the knife out of his flesh. Finch gasps at the pain, red blood dripping down his body. His breath becomes fast and uncontrollable once again. And he didn’t stop there. Punches being thrown, more knife cuts, and a hand gripping firmly around his neck while he growls words that shapes nightmares. The chest starts to add in more color to it. Streaks of blood dripped down his slightly toned body. Each of those marks burns deeply into him. With every swing from the fist, Finch uses all his energy to suppress his voice despite the unimaginable pain it emits.

Finch has been in a fight before. He knows what it feels like getting punched over and over again. But this? This is something new. He’s in a position where he can’t do anything. And god is he scared for his life. Albert won’t blame him. After a few dozen punches, his lover fell limp. Hanging helplessly on the hook and taking all the new cuts and bruises like he deserves it. His heart skipped a beat, thinking that he actually might’ve given up. 

“Can’t you tell he’s had enough of it?” Albert shouted, helplessly watching his lover get tortured to near death. 

Snyder continues to use Finch as a punching bag, ignoring his near silent cries and Albert’s pleas to stop. 

“What does it have to do with ‘im?!” 

A hook to the chin this time.

“You fucking bastard! You’ll kill him!” 

Finch couldn’t hold his crying anymore, despite being told to before he got thrown in the basement. Snyder draws out the knife again upon hearing all the sobs escape his cut lips. 

“Snyder, please!” Albert’s voice shakes.

He stops his arm and turns to face Albert, dropping his hand with the knife to his side. Albert can be seen on the verge of tears, and he won’t deny it to anyone. Snyder’s lips fell open with wonderment. 

“I get the point already. You don’t have to keep hurting him...” Albert explained even further, desperation lacing his words. Eyes slowly welling up with water, “Please…”

Snyder scoffs, twisting his lips into the devil's satisfied smile, “Say that again” 

He just wants to see Albert complying to him. Hear him beg to stop the injustice torture. Maybe as far as to hear him cry. 

“Please… Let him go...” breathlessly, Albert begged. He could feel a drop of water from one of his eyes threatening to fall down his cheek. 

Snyder approaches Albert, kneeling down in front of him. He uses the knife from earlier, still full of Finch’s blood dripping off the blade, to tilt Albert’s chin upwards. He glares at Snyder once their eyes meet, but it only makes the man smirk with delight.

“I see you’ve come to your senses” 

Hopefully that meant he’d stop and let Finch back upstairs. But this is Snyder, he’s not going to let one of his detained kids off for free. 

“But I don’t think you’re... ‘docile’ enough,” Snyder added.

He puts away the knife, letting Albert breathe for a moment. But that breath was stolen from him as Snyder proceeds to slap his cheek, so hard the noise echoes throughout the room. He falls to the ground, adding more to the pain he’s feeling. If his hands weren’t tied up, he would’ve already punched the crap out of that monster. 

“You sound adorable when you beg, y’know?” Snyder said standing up to walk back to Finch. 

Albert huffs out breaths full of anger, watching him approach his bloody human punching bag. He blows a strain of red locks away from his eyes to carefully watch what he’s going to do. 

Snyder grabs Finch’s cheeks, forcing him to look up, “You’re definitely a keeper. Isn’t that right, Al?” 

He turns to face Albert, watching as the redhead struggles to sit upright once again. He didn’t break his glare at the man while doing so, showing his own daggers through hazel eyes. 

Snyder scoffs it off, focusing back to Finch. He unhooks the rope off of the ceiling, the limp body giving in to gravity and hitting the floor instantly. His breathing is slowing down, but hitched with a sob ever so often. 

“So, why don’tcha have a little alone time—“ He grabs Finch by the hair. He yelped in pain before being tossed towards where Albert is sitting, his feet somehow complying to the push despite the ache he feels, “—and think about what you did” 

He was lucky, Albert was able to catch him into his chest and lap. If he didn’t, Finch would’ve hit the floor and added another bruise on his face. Finch quickly scrambles himself into his embrace as best as he can with tied hands in front of him. Shaking with suppressed sobs into Al’s tattered clothes. 

“You don’t wanna make him suffer for something he didn’t do, right?” Snyder taunted. 

It fuels Albert’s anger to the brim. He tries his best to wrap his arms around the boy while maintaining his glare at Snyder as he makes his way up the stairs. The heavy door quickly opens and shuts not long after a dozen or so drawn out steps up the stairs. The basement is once again left with minimal lighting since the candle from previously was brought up along with him. 

The moment he hears the door close, Finch lets out his sobs. Loud, fueled with ache and fear. Albert suspects he was told to stay quiet while they were doing… whatever it is they did to him to make him look like this. He had a few guesses about what it was, but Al couldn’t bear to put the image in his head. 

“Oh, Finch, what did they do to you?” Albert whispered, carefully holding Finch’s cheek up to see the damage. 

Finch stays silent as they view each other’s faces. Albert wipes Finch’s tears with his thumb delicately to be careful as to not harm him. He cries at the touch of his soft hand, the gentleness he’s been longing for the moment he got into this shithole of a place. 

He crashes his face into the crook of Albert’s neck, sobbing a little softer than before. Al places his chin on his curls gently. He rubs Finch’s back and shushes in his hair. Albert knows it won’t calm him down, but there’s nothing wrong with trying. 

“Albert… please… I wanna go home…” Finch said shakily, so soft Al nearly couldn’t hear him. About the only thing he has said since the moment the couple has reunited. 

Albert hushed the boy, rubbing his cheeks against Finch’s curls, “I know. I know. Just hold on for me” 

He continues to sob, a puddle slowly forming on Albert’s shirt. The dam for Albert himself finally broke, letting a drop of water fall down his cheek and a nose slowly getting stuffed. He holds him in his tight arms, as if he’d disappear the moment he lets go. 

“We’re gettin’ outta here. I promise” Albert promised, a big promise to uphold too. 

It would seem difficult with the position they’re in. He believes their friends are out there coming up with an escape plan or will visit them frequently to check up on them till a plan forms. Till then, he promises to do everything he can to get Finch off of Snyder’s evil hands. Anything to see his Finchy smile again. Even if it ends up being the last thing he does. 

[aj521z]

EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! ANSWER THEM NOW K PLZ TKS

(I HATE YOU MA’AM)

1. What is you middle name? - Crackhead

2. How old are you? - apprx 8

3. When is your birthday? - April 7 

4. What is your zodiac sign? - Dumb bitchasaurus 

5. What is your favorite color? - Blue. Like turquoise/aqua 

6. What’s your lucky number? - I have no luck Im gay

7. Do you have any pets? - 2 beautiful fucking dogs that the loml and I die for them immediately and kill everyone to defend them. Also a cat who is a wack boy 

8. Where are you from? - SoCal 

9. How tall are you? - 5′7 

10. What shoe size are you? - 10-11 (lol big feets)

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - probably like 10 and they’re all converse 

12. What was your last dream about? - sleep paralysis shadow demon(:

13. What talents do you have? - falling for girls who leave me 

14. Are you psychic in any way? - No im an oblivious fucking fool

15. Favorite song? - I have 69420 (two that have a VERY special place in my heart though in memory of my little brother are “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd (his fave song) and “Since I’ve Been Loving You” Led Zeppelin <3 

16. Favorite movie? - oooooofff The Lion King is fave disney. Star wars and LOTR are some of my faves

17. Who would be your ideal partner? - Christen Press (only requirement must love dogs)

18. Do you want children? - Pending, but yes dog children

19. Do you want a church wedding? - LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

20. Are you religious? - yes @tobinheats-me-up​ and I have our own religion, bless JVN

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - YES YIKE im an injury mess

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - I got chased by the popo but escaped HAHAHAHHA

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Lindsey Horan and CP hello ma’ams

24. Baths or showers? - Showers I dont have time move im gay

25. What color socks are you wearing? - none hahaha

26. Have you ever been famous? - Im famous for being a stupid ass clown

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - fuck no ( @frankarnstein said “no not even a smol” and im dead)

28. What type of music do you like? - mmmm mostly everything but especially rock (indie, classic, industrial, punk, grunge, folk, all of it)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - yes 💀

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - one to two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? - back or side I toss and turn bc I have anxiety lol

32. How big is your house? - I live here so infinite abyss

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - usually fruit and eggs

34. Have you ever fired a gun? - yes once at a shooting range

35. Have you ever tried archery? - yes! my aunt actually competes and she taught me hahahha 

36. Favorite clean word? - gay and yikes

37. Favorite swear word? - fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 78 hours i hallucinated 

39. Do you have any scars? - too many hahaha physically and emotionally 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - soranon (only OGs will remember hahahaha)

41. Are you a good liar? - Depends, but usually no hahahah

42. Are you a good judge of character? - I thought I was but I dont know anymore tbh. Ppl are unpredictable

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - Yes ask @hvafaenerdette​ I love accents ahahahah

44. Do you have a strong accent? - I’ve been told by internationals that i have a strong american accent but idk ahahaha

45. What is your favorite accent? - Tobin Heath skater girl

46. What is your personality type? - Dumb bitch 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - idk like shoes?

48. Can you curl your tongue? - 😏 please

49. Are you an innie or an outie? - why is this a question wtf ahahhaha  

50. Left or right handed? - Right hand, Left foot

51. Are you scared of spiders? - No. Unless they fly down from my fan while I’m trying to play guitar and I’m very drunk and feel attacked

52. Favorite food? - All of it

53. Favorite foreign food? - Everything 

54. Are you a clean or messy person? - depends on my mental state((((((((:

55. Most used phrased? - for fucks sake and dumb bitch probably 

56. Most used word? - clown

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 5-10 minutes 

58. Do you have much of an ego? - No, I’m a clown I know my place 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck I aint tryin to break my teeth lol

60. Do you talk to yourself? - bitch pls ahahahah ofc 

61. Do you sing to yourself? - Yes hahahha

62. Are you a good singer? - Maybe? hahaha

63. Biggest Fear? - Jill Ellis 

64. Are you a gossip? - Nope. I am bearer of all secrets hahahah

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Tournament of Nations 2017 USA vs. Brazil

66. Do you like long or short hair? - long on me but I dont care on other people

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - I cant geography, but think I could get most ahahaha

68. Favorite school subject? - bio

69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Depends who I’m with, but usually introvert unless I fuck w you ahhahaha

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - Snorkling yes, but not scuba diving

71. What makes you nervous? - WHAT DOESNT LOL

72. Are you scared of the dark? - No 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - only if it’s serious 

74. Are you ticklish? - Not really hahaha

75. Have you ever started a rumor? - No 

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - Yesssss

77. Have you ever drank underage? - Lol do you know me

78. Have you ever done drugs? - 🥦 💨 @tobinheats-me-up

79. Who was your first real crush? - Gwen Stefani I think? ahhahah I love No Doubt

80. How many piercings do you have? - 0

81. Can you roll your Rs? - yes ma’am

82. How fast can you type? - very fast 

83. How fast can you run? - I cant, but I can walk very fast, move bitch im gay

84. What color is your hair? - light brown

85. What color is your eyes? - depends on lighting either blue or green

86. What are you allergic to? - homophobia 

87. Do you keep a journal? - I write songs instead hahaha

88. What do your parents do? - judge my “lifestyle” 

89. Do you like your age? - yes hahahah

90. What makes you angry? - men

91. Do you like your own name? - yes it’s v gay

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - Christen and Tobin 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - ive been laughing at this for a minute a “a boy a girl” 

94. What are you strengths? - being gay

95. What are your weaknesses? - girls

96. How did you get your name? - my parents gave it to me? hahahaha

97. Were your ancestors royalty? - cereally 

98. Do you have any scars? - This hasnt changed but again yes both physically and emotionally (:

99. Color of your bedspread? - blue with anchors bc it’s 

100. Color of your room? - tan and one dark blue wall

[thinfatfit]

tw sex

tw tw tw

tw tw tw

tw tw tw

ok i just want to confess this because i’ve never told anyone and for my whole life i’ve felt really ashamed. when i was younger like elementary and high school i was really lonely (lived alone just me and my mom and she had lots of mental health problems) and had extremely low self-esteem (like one time i went out in the snow without shoes bc i thought i didn’t deserve them). and i guess bc of those two things i had really bad sexual experiences and i feel so disgusting about it and like if other people knew they wouldn’t respect me or they would think i’m disgusting, and i feel like i gave these random gross men a piece of me and i wish i could take it back. and recently one of them who i blocked on facebook years ago made a new account to add me and it made me want to die that someone so gross and creepy is out there and has seen me naked when i was so young and is associated with me in that way. just all of these guys were so mean and disrespectful and huge losers and they didn’t care if they hurt me.

like in gr7 i would meet these gross guys in high school at the movie theatre and and talk about sex and one of them i sent sexy pictures to online. and i had my first kiss with one of them who was in gr11 and was so gross and he later got put on house arrest. and when we kissed he asked me if i loved him and i said yes cause i was 12 and he was like “it’s unrequited love”. 

in gr9 me and one of my friends made out with these completely random strangers we saw on the street who were like 30 idk and i went into a bathroom stall with one of them and let him touch me.   

but the worst worst was in gr12. this guy was 22 and used to work at my job but he got fired. he didn’t have another job for the whole 2 years i knew him and wasn’t in school. his biggest accomplishment was he made a “music video”. and he smelled so bad and was always high. and he wouldn’t let me go into his room bc it was too personal. and if i went to his mom’s house which was 1hr away he wouldn’t meet me at the bus stop even if it was super late and deserted. if his parents were home we would hook up like in school parking lots and secluded places outside. and i just met up with him bc i secretly hoped he would fall in love with me, so once we would get to the alley or w/e and he would want to hook up i would be like ummm idk maybe we shouldn’t bc i just wanted it to be a “date” and he would be like “wtf we came all the way here.....come on... you led me on.... etc etc” so then i would. and pretty much exclusively what we did was i gave him bjs.

and this other guy from my work also when i was in gr12, i have no idea how old he was, maybe early to mid 20s, he asked out every single girl and one time i said yes to be ~cool and he picked me up in his car and parked in some random parking lot and asked me to give him a bj and i was like uhhh idk idk and he was like “ok chill nbd” and i was like ok sure and then he was like can i take pics or film u and i was like sure cause i wanted to be cool and then he texted ppl while i was doing it.

ok literally i feel like none of u will like me anymore after reading this.