#i used to hate the idea of drawing the same thing again and again until one day I got obsessed with this one character and i fucking SNAPPE

[endthestarlight]

Long time no random drawing

[hawkinsbnbg]

Fuckboy Eddie and his heart-stealer Steve

Eddie who never did relationships because he thought he wasn't made for them, and Steve who was used to people falling in love with him and blamed him for breaking their hearts when he didn't reciprocate their feelings.

Somehow, they met, hooked up twice, and struck a deal: fun time only with no strings attached.

After months of fooling around, talking, and sharing tender moments together, Eddie was forced to accept that he was head over ass for Steve Harrington—the very man he had sworn up and down to not fall in love with.

At first, Eddie wanted to deny it, to scoff at the absurdity. Although Steve was his type: pretty, bitchy, funny, and kind-hearted, the man was also everything he stood against: preppy, vain, and oblivious.

And yet, the more he got to know Steve, the more endeared he was to Steve's 'less attractive' sides. It caused him to reevaluate his entire personal doctrine and wonder if he really ever found Steve unattractive at all.

The answer was a big 'No' glaring back at him like a bad joke, leaving him no place to be in denial.

Meanwhile, Steve also realized the subtle changes in Eddie. The longing looks, the lingering touches, the carnal desire in between kisses, the mindless affectionate gestures, and the fond smiles Eddie would give him when he said or did something silly.

Steve should've felt relieved that their feelings were mutual, but he panicked instead. Because what if Eddie only liked the idea of him? What if Eddie regretted catching feelings for him after seeing his real self? Pathetic and not worthy of love?

What if he fucked this all up and made Eddie hate him like many other people in the past? What then?

For the first time, Steve was unsure of his situation. He couldn't afford to lose Eddie by ending things between them, or admit his feelings to the other man unless he wanted to break his own heart.

In the end, he chose to say nothing, to keep up his façade, pretend that he didn't see the yearning in Eddie's eyes and knew he was never brave enough to take that one step.

However, Steve had underestimated one thing—Eddie's obsession with him.

"I love you," hot lips planted on his ear as his ass was plowed from behind.

Bracing his hands on the headboard, Steve choked on his breath, not trusting himself to hear it right. He was about to ignore it when Eddie started talking again.

"You don't have to say it back. Gonna wait for you however long it takes," Eddie let out a low groan when Steve clenched down suddenly.

The pace was picked up, each thrust was aimed precisely at Steve's prostate, strong arms kept his shaking body stay upright, sturdy chest pressed flush against his back, warm breath tickled his clammy skin as the husky voice whispered in his ear again.

"Yeah, s'a promise, sweetheart. Gonna follow you til the end of the world. Gonna be your ghost and shadow. Gonna stay w'you even in death,” sharp teeth sank into soft flesh, wanting to draw blood and leave marks behind. "We'll be buried in the same coffin and corroded together. Intermingled until we become one."

It was unsettling how both insane and lovesick Eddie sounded. Even in the haze of his arousal, Steve could feel himself tremble, could hear himself moan brokenly at the stinging pain and the heady sensation that zipped down his spine.

It's him! Steve’s heart sang, soaring and dancing merrily.

He knew he had found his one. The person who would love him without holding back.

“Then make me yours,” Steve craned his neck to meet those dark wild eyes. “Keep me, brand me.”

There was no pause or hesitation when a hand came up and wrapped around his throat like a collar.

“Mine,” Eddie growled and tightened his fingers further, hips pistoning without restraint, driving himself deeper and deeper into the constricting heat.

Steve’s eyes rolled back, mouth dropped open, and tongue lolled out. Spit and drool dribbled down his chin as he gasped for air, holding onto the headboard for dear life as Eddie pounded into him in earnest.

Whatever came afterward had passed in a blur, Steve was too out of it to remember much else besides the endless pleasure that kept crashing over him, overwhelming and intoxicant.

By the time they were done, he was an incoherent mess, unable to think straight or even move a limb.

Eddie didn't seem to mind, though. The man had cleaned him up efficiently in their joined shower, put him in comfy pjs, ordered his favorite takeouts, and hand-fed him until he was drowsy from fullness. All the while giving him small kisses, telling him sweet promises and things that were too good to be true.

As he slowly drifted off in Eddie’s arms, he knew they still had so much to discuss the next time they woke up with clearer minds and calmer hearts.

But for now, Steve was content to let his boyfriend take care of him, knowing he was in good hands.

[thesilmarillionblog]

𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u

Part: 10

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: heavy angst, hurt, language, Soldier Boy gets hurt, PTSD, mention of drugs, mention of torture, reader gets hurt

Word Count: 4245

A/N: English is not my first language.

♩ This is the song of the chapter, 'Alone and Together' by No Clear Mind.

When Ben sat down on the bed and waited, neither of you said anything or did anything for a while. You hated how he still treated you, so you turned your back on him while closing your eyes and avoiding the heavy feeling in your heart. You wanted to let things go, but you also felt like you had a lot to say to him about how deeply his actions had wounded you and how much you still suffered. You stayed mute because you knew that talking about it would only make things worse and give him the impression that you still cared.

All you longed for was for him to see how much his acts had hurt and pained you and to realize just how selfish he was. But you eventually realized that Ben wasn't someone who would actually listen to you, even for a brief moment. Even if you decided to give him another chance and let him get close to you again, he would still hurt you without considering the consequences or your feelings; therefore, it was best to let the past die in the past and leave memories of both joy and sorrow behind. These blissful days would never return.

You were ruminating so much that you shifted on the bed until your chest reached the edge, making it obvious that you didn't want to come into contact with him. Ben seemed to pause due to your behavior. 

“I don't bite,” he said, annoyed that you were making every effort to avoid him. This ended the quiet that lingered between you. “You can come a little closer. Sleep comfortable.” 

“I am comfortable.”

He sighed with annoyance as he made his way to the bed. Ben considered drawing a little closer to you, but he quickly dismissed this idea. You would become upset based on your response to his touch and your fragile attitude. Even though he didn't know you were in his thoughts at all times, he felt extremely hungry and affectionate toward you ever since he woke up. And though every cell in his body was screaming to be near you, to touch you, and to hold you close to him, the realization that you didn't feel the same way made him feel a little insecure—a feeling he wasn't used to experiencing in his connection with you.

He whispered, “You'll fall there,” in an attempt to persuade you.” I'm not going to touch you.” Again.

“It won't hurt if I fall, though.” In an attempt to find some solace, you took the entire blanket from him and placed it between your thighs. “I'm a supe too, remember?” you exclaimed. 

Ben leaned down at the head of the bed, his veiny and powerful arms supporting his head while he stared at his bare chest and tried not to smile when you took the blanket away from him a little too firmly. 

He abruptly muttered, “I'm sorry,” in a dry voice, trying to start a conversation while he continued to glance at your back and listen to your quiet, gentle heartbeats. 

“For what?”

How should he respond? For shoving you into the bed, sucking your nipples, kissing you out of the blue, and attempting to fuck you like a wolf in heat? Taking a big breath, he folded his arms across his chest and scowled, not knowing quite what to say. He didn't used to talk to you like this since you weren't that far away from him before he screwed things up. 

You attempted to contain your rage and kept your eyes closed because you didn't want to get into another fight with Ben, and you knew how sensitive his nerves were. You were also feeling a little anxious about his new, unpredictable abilities.

“Just don't do it again,” you simply said, trying to sound calm but firm. “I am serious, Ben.”

He wanted to argue, but he was at a loss for words. He answered, “Of course,” in a low voice, knowing that he shouldn't have behaved in that manner before speaking with you in an appropriate way.

Ben knew you moved too much when you slept, so even though he wanted to be near you, he went to the edge of the bed to give you enough room to make you feel comfortable and sleep in peace. While he listened to your calm breathing and watched as you swiftly fell off to sleep, he reminisced on your shared memories and felt sorrow for all that had happened between you, including how much he had messed up. He realized it would be difficult to win back your trust, but he knew he would do everything in his power to do so. He just didn't know how.

This morning, just after changing into your new clothes in the restroom, you ate breakfast quietly as Butcher and his buddies talked about Vought and the Seven. When Annie began to dispute with Butcher and Hughie, you did not interrupt them—in contrast to Ben, who was also having arguments with Butcher—and instead concentrated on your meal. 

“I'm just saying consuming those Temp-V's doesn't sound safe, and you're forcing Hughie to inject it in himself too,” Annie pointed to Hughie's face as he attempted to eat breakfast quietly.

Hughie stated, “He's not pressuring me. I'm taking Temp-V on my own initiative, and I find it to be really helpful,” he said quietly. Annie shot him a cold stare, which instantly caused him to stop talking. 

“Why the fuck are you all attacking me?” Butcher spoke while lifting his arms. “Temp-V is absolutely secure. It only grants us superpowers for a full day. Is there any damage in this” 

“Oh my god,” Annie muttered, irritated with Butcher's impetuous behavior. “Don't you think it's a bit atypical to play with your DNA that fluently?” 

“So what?” Annie was cut off by Ben's stern voice. “Even if it harms their biology, it's not wrong to use it since it's better to die than to live like a weak pussy.”

Butcher instantly agreed with Ben: “Soldier Boy's got a point,” and he gave Hughie a tight squeeze. “Besides, we are just a bunch of annoying losers against the Seven and Vought. You have to find them more for us because we need to use all of this trash. I don't want to shatter your little heart, love, but all you do is consume up my electricity, and right now we are outnumbered against them.”

Annie's jaw tightened as she glanced at Butcher, her eyes suddenly brightening with a deep shade of yellow. 

“Maybe your electricity can be useful at some points; what do you say?”

“Hey,” Butcher grinned at her and added, “Let's not spoil our family meeting. Stay calm. That's not how you keep your man, right?”

Hughie put his hand Annie's and softly said, “Can we talk about this later?”

Annie sighed angrily, shoving Hughie's hand away from her and getting to her feet, adding, “You know, I need to go, and we'll definitely talk about this again.”

As Butcher said Annie farewell before leaving the house after their argument, you and Ben were observing their facial expressions. Hughie looked at Ben, irritated, as he took his phone from him and began to play with it. You weren't asking anything, but you were occasionally peering in,om him even though you were rather interested in what he was doing with the phone. 

“We need two phones just like this one.” Ben abruptly said, “One for her, one for me,” holding up the device to Butcher's face. 

“Are you a teenager obsessed with technology?” He was instantly teased by Butcher, who gave him one of his nasty smiles. 

Ben looked at Hughie, who was kindly asking for his phone back, and said, “If you are not going to give us two phones, I'm going to take this,” but Ben wasn't even paying attention to Hughie at all. 

“Alright, we'll get your phones. Could you please return mine to me?” 

With a quick motion, you grabbed the phone out of Ben's hand and delivered it to Hughie while smiling. With a look of graditude on his face, he returned your shy smile. 

Ben said, glaring at Butcher's face, “Today,” giving Hughie no attention. 

“Alright,” Butcher agreed. “We'll buy your phones today and make sure you two watch the best porn and make yourself busy, alright?”

“Ben is a man of actions; he likes to screw every kind of woman in real life,” you sarcastically remarked, grimaced at Butcher's remarks and folding your arms over your chest. 

Ben immediately asserted, “I don't,” and you asked Butcher, “Can we already move to the place we're going to stay in?” without giving him the chance to respond to you. 

“Sure, sweetie, but let me have my breakfast in peace, and then we can leave.”

You watched the TV and the news until Butcher and the others finished their meal, which was less than an hour ago. You looked for any updates regarding Earving, but there was nothing at all. Everything on every channel was Homelander and political crap. 

You could tell he was a dangerous man by the way he used language, his professionalism in interviews, and his controlled facial expression. It appeared that Vought had discovered the ideal obedient superhero that fit their preferences.

Ben quietly murmured, “Hey, we're leaving,” as you were lost in idleness. 

You nodded to him, got up, and watched him pick up his shield from where he'd put it yesterday on the corner. That was the moment you realized you had never really used your powers. Since you weren't safe at all and you weren't sure whether you were experiencing any hidden side effects like Ben, you realized you wanted to exercise as soon as possible.

After leaving Kimiko and Frenchie at home, Butcher and Hughie took you to the place where you and Ben will be living for a while. Hughie kindly assisted you in learning how to use the phones that Butcher had purchased for you and Ben. You learned how to make calls easily, at least. Ben had complained that you just required his number and that no one else's was needed, but you disregarded him and asked Hughie to record everyone's number on your phone.

While you were looking over the house, Ben placed his shield in a corner. Despite its small size, you felt safer there than you would in the city since it was isolated. The smell of this place, which was like a forest, finally helped you to relax after the sickeningly heavy and dirty air of the city center.

Butcher put his hand in his pocket and stated, “You're just going to stay here for a while until me and my boys sort things out with the Vought and until you are a bit forgotten by the angry people of America. I'm telling you, though, don't leave the house. If you do, I'll know. I will occasionally check on you.”

“Go suck a friend's balls and make sure he puts his jizz in your empty mouth.” Ben scowled in frustration, set down the closest coach, and put his hands behind his head. “All you do is talk for fucks sake.”

Cursing him back in a mocking manner, Butcher dragged you into a corner and said, “You seem like a more reasonable supe than him, don't you? You should

stay inside the house, dear. I mean it. You have all you need here, and it's a pretty safe location. I will come see how you're doing.”

“Alright, alright.” You nodded to him after glancing at Ben, who had already begun watching TV, but you knew that he was keeping his ears on Butcher and you. “But what will happen afterwards?”

“You hand that off to your teammate and me. There are a lot of things to do here, and you'll have time to think about your future.”

“I just don't want to get sucked into something dangerous; I'm not a bad person, and I've already gone through a lot.” It felt uncomfortable to share your anxieties with him, but you knew you had to be clear from the beginning and that they needed to understand you.

“I don't even know how to fix things between myself and this country,” you added, crossing your arms over your chest. “And no offense, but I don't trust you and your friends at all.”

Ben grimaced as he heard your intimate conversation with Butcher, during which you confided your anxieties to him. Given that you had known one another for a long time, had an extensive amount of memories, and experienced similar experiences, he ought to have been the one with whom you opened up about everything. The idea that you would trust a complete stranger—someone you had just met—irritated Ben. He should have been to one you opened yourself. It was something else Ben needed to solve with you. 

Ben also knew that, as long as you were with him, nobody could hurt you. He would never be tricked again, and that is the sole reason he was captured. He would ensure that no one, not even himself, could ever hurt you again. 

“You have no other chance but to trust me and my boys though, right? Why being so ungrateful? I'm taking of you two well enough,” said Butcher with a sly smirk and gave you squeeze to your shoulder shortly just before he left the house.

None of you spoke as Butcher left the house, but after a while, you felt his heavy eyes on you as he shifted postures on the couch and watched the TV in silence.

Ben listened to you while you were taking a shower when he grew tired of watching television. Although he wasn't intentionally focusing on you, his supe hearing was drawn to you while you were around. He was compelled to listen to every sound you made. He couldn't deny that your presence soothed him either. Ben didn't care what the reason was as long as you were with him at that particular moment, which might have been anything different, something deeper, or the fact that you were the only person he actually trusted. He knew what you had was special.

You returned to the room after a long shower, changed into clean, gratefully new clothes, and saw him pour whiskey into his glass. You wondered whether his body could withstand a day without drugs or alcohol. 

“Why are you looking in such a way?” Ben took a sip of his drink and asked in a lighthearted manner. “I'm curious about what you're thinking right now.”

“I was wondering if you could just give up drinking or using drugs for a single day,” you asked, getting annoyed that he seemed okay with everything. happening. 

“I survived for decades without using them, sweetie,” he murmured, instantly putting an evil grin on his face. 

You changed the topic and said in a low voice, “Do you think they'll trick us? They can easily fill this house with the same gas that made us sleep for ages.”

Ben instantly stiffened up and felt aggressive as he considered the idea of being betrayed by teammates once more and returning to the lab in Russia. When he considered the years he wasted and the treachery he had experienced—years without you—it was difficult to contain his rage. 

He filled his glass once more and remarked, “They might try.” His eyes remained fixed on yours. “I doubt they would dare do such a thing. They really want that Homelander guy dead and are most likely attempting to kill that man for a very long period, but it seems that they ultimately fall unsuccessful.”

You shivered and felt uneasy when he brought about Homelander, and you whispered, “There has to be a reason why they can't handle a single supe, Ben.”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “They are just some weak, useless piece of shitbags, that's it, and that's why they need me.” 

“I watched Homelander, that man, on TV. He is undoubtedly skilled at manipulating the public and the media, and in today's society, power seems to be much more significant.”

“Remember what Butcher said: People easily forget, and they'll forget him as well when they realize he's not the strongest supe at all.” 

You scowled in annoyance at seeing Ben had no longer cared about the world or how things were working at all. You didn't know if he was up to something or whether he simply didn't give a damn other than killing Homelander. 

“Ben, I don't believe that getting rid of Homelander will resolve anything from our side. Can't you see how everyone hates me and you at the moment? If you attack Homelander and Vought, things will only become worse.” You replied angrily, annoyed by Ben's careless demeanor, “Butcher and his crew just want to use you against him.”

As he argued with you, Ben let go of the empty glass he was holding and sighed as he observed your annoyance growing. He trusted your strength, but at some point, he became uneasy about your vulnerability.

Ben vowed to destroy Vought and all Seven members when he was set free that day and began searching for you. He understood that the only way to get things going right would be to resolve the issue between you, him, and Vought. He would take over the whole company and form his own new team, proving to the world that he was the strongest supe and that nobody could stop him. In that way, he would be protecting you most importantly. For the time being, though, it was better the less you knew.

Ben said in a determined voice, “I won't let anything happen to you,” as he came nearer to you. Despite being too close and yearning to touch you, he refrained from doing so. “I would never let someone hurt you ever again.”

With a heavy heart, you whispered, “The only one who hurt me was you, Ben,” stepping back and creating some distance. Everything you wanted to say to his face was eating you alive, and you felt like you would blow out at any moment. “It seems like you didn't take any lessons from your mistakes, and you're going to make me drown with you again.”

He said, “I made a deal with Butcher,” ignoring your comments as he saw the sorrowful, icy look on your face. “I promised him that I would help him kill Homelander, and he would help me save you. A deal is a deal.”

Ben wanted you to know that he wasn't just going to break his word; in fact, what he was doing was for you. He was so desperate to find you that day that he was willing to kill Vought's top supe and everyone in a heartbeat. 

“Since when are you so keen on keeping your word?” You asked in a bitter voice. 

Ben was ready to tell you not to think about the past, but he stopped himself because he knew it would hurt and infuriate you even more. Instead, he whispered, “Since right now,” softly, and he slowly stepped forward to confront you. He simply knew it was time to have some conversation. “Look, I know what happened between us in the past wasn't just right, and I wasn't fair to you, but let me fix things.”

Perplexed by his words, you said, “Let you fix things?” Remembering every horrible thing he had done to you, your heart began to rush with hurt and despair, and he was still unable to truly apologize. “Ben, you abandoned me after cheating on me with Crimson. How can you fix something like that? Talking things out can help clear up misunderstandings, but not that.” 

He muttered, “I was wrong about everything and about you,” not knowing how to express how he felt. He found it much more difficult to open up when he saw the disappointed and cold expression in your eyes. “I cared about you a lot; I've always had, and now too. I didn’t know back then, but now I do.”

Ben didn't make a single effort to even slightly touch you, but he was too close to touch you again. For an instant, Ben's gaze lingered on your hands, his heart shattered by the longing to embrace and caress you. He never imagined you would be this different, but here you were. 

This time, you spoke gently, understanding that Ben was simply too blind to really see the damage that he had caused. “I don't think you'll even understand your actions, Ben,” you murmured. 

He opened his lips to say something, but you cut him off right away. “I gave you everything I could, Ben: loyalty, friendship, love, innocence, understanding... I never asked for anything in return. I accepted and loved you as you were.” 

You spoke softly, focusing your attention on his deep emerald eyes and hoping he could understand you. “I gave you everything I had, but you kept what we had concealed from everyone, made me feel like I was a rat, and I never once complained—you already know that I supported the choice you made from the start. When you proposed that our connection be kept secret, I mistakenly assumed that you were protecting me from Vought and everyone else. This was foolish of me, and I held onto this belief all the way to the end.”

Ben listened to you with a pained expression as you talked about the things that hurt you the most, finally.

You continued after a little period of silence between you, stating, “You acted as though you cared for me when we first met, when we were by ourselves. You threw me aside when Countess showed up, kicked me from the squad, and then you tried to bring me back. I attempted to make amends for whatever I had done, despite the harm you had done to me, believing that my actions were the cause of your behavior. However, you continued to ignore me, failing to recognize the true colors of her.”

The image of Crimson's face struck Ben's heart with rage. If he had simply killed her on the first day, none of this would have happened.

He whispered, “I know I should have listened to you, I wish I could turn back time,” cutting you off. “But you must know I never loved her.”

Ben was unsure of his feelings for you, but he knew he had never loved Crimson and never felt anything at all for her. All he knew was that he needed you by his side and that he cared passionately for you. Your presence filled his body and soul with warmth and comfort. It didn't matter the name of whatever he felt about you and what you shared; it was something deeper and more special than anything someone could share with another. At least he knew that for sure.

You gently answered in an understanding tone, “I know, Ben,” knowing that he would never cease to love anyone including you.

You came to the realization after all those years that nothing, not even giving your life for him, could win his affection. You used to think that if you gave him everything you had, there would be a way to win his heart. Nevertheless, nothing would be sufficient to win his love.

His gloved fingers, a tiny glimmer of hope in his heart, only lightly touched yours to gauge how comfortable you were with it. “I know I caused you so much pain you never ever deserved, and I'm sorry for everything I have done to you,” in a sincere voice. “But give me a chance to fix everything. All I want is you and your trust.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

“And I forgive you, Ben. For everything you have done,” you sincerely said, giving a nod to him, understanding that there was no going back and that what was done was done. “But my love is gone.”

Next Chapter

A/N: I don’t know how this is even going, but here we are. Kind of feeling insecure and hate writing nowadays to be honest. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated. They keep me going. Take care. “-“

*Losing You series masterlist is here.

Taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @xmariakx @spnfamily-j2 @suspicious-stain-in-spain @atomicsoulcollecto @yvonneeeee @starryperson @mfnqueen1 @chaand-sitara @boywivlove @stilinskisthings @brynanna @delaynew @yoyoanaria @n-o-p-e-never @ghostslillady @certifiedhaters @deans-spinster-witch @demodemo909 @stoneyggirl2 @cheynovak @libby99hb @moneyburner @jenn-777q @hey-there0-0

Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series. -`♡´-

[bloop-bl00p]

In defense of Octavia

TW: Lots of Trauma Dumping, Mention of abuse

She’s been wronged way too many times in this fandom for some reason. Look at her vibing, how can you hate her?

I’m a fan of Helluva Boss, mainly because of its potential but the quality dropped dead in the second season. We’re gonna talk about a character I’ve seen other fans misinterpreting in favor of the so-great Prince Stolass.

I want to talk about her mainly because I do what I want and because after studying her character I just realized that she’s just like me. Especially regarding her relationship with her father, I see myself in my younger years.

All of that to say…

She has all the right to feel abandoned.

Octavia obliviously has a stronger bond with her father, it shows in her behavior and little background details

When she wants to draw her family, she draws her and Stolas, we mostly see her being happy with him which leads me to think that she’s emotionally neglected by Stella. To her, Octavia is just an ‘egg’ that fell off her and she doesn't care about the impact killing Stolas could have on her daughter.

Despite being emotionally absent, Stella has a much more physical presence than Stolas. Most of the time Stolas is alone in his castle which leads me to think that Octavia is somewhere else with Stella. They did mention the two went on a weekend somewhere. This leads us to this question…

How can Octavia feel more close to her father?

Here’s the thing, I see a lot of my family dynamic here. My mom doesn’t pay attention to me at all, she doesn't want me to bother her and she makes it clear. My dad, however, who’s absent like 90% of the time, always tried to spare time with me. He explained to me that he was working and why he was doing all of this (I was like barely ten) but it never prevented him from trying to play with me, sharing his hobbies, going on a walk, and else.

He was there emotionally and, as a kid who was bullied, had no friends at all, and a mother who didn't give a damn, I cherished this relationship.

I believe the exact same thing happened with Octavia, we never see her with friends or even outside the castle, she’s isolated. Stolas has Prince duties, we’ve seen him carry them in the shows, hence why he’s mostly absent leaving her with her mother. But, at least when she was a kid, he tried to do stuff bringing her to Loo-Loo Land or being the one to comfort her. That is why she clings to her father, he’s the only one who actually shows her love and she’s terrified of losing that.

Regarding her mother, Stella obliviously doesn't care about her so the feeling is reciprocated. From a narrative standpoint, Stella is an unpredictable force of nature getting angry for pretty much anything that doesn't go her way. So Octativa learned to not cross her mother's path.

I know this expression, this is the “Oh fuck… they’re at it again?” she’s used to her mother's constant screaming, she's used to her parents fighting.

She did say they were a time when a parent didn't hate each other, which to me refers to the time when Stolas tanked Stella’s abuse. But, that doesn’t mean that Stella wasn't abusing him in front of a younger Octavia, she’s erratic and they did imply that she can get physical in her toxic behavior. Since Stella was passive, it was probably mostly harmful comments.

Putting personal things here, my mom was also very abusive to my older sibling. Since I was extremely young I learned not to ‘be a burden’ to avoid being abused as well, which includes things like not talking to her unless she does it first. Whether Octavia is aware of the physical abuse or not, she must know enough to know that it’s a bad idea to annoy Stella.

This is the only picture where we see her seemingly having a good relationship with Stolas, which to me feels like she’s faking it considering all we know about the family.

She has a pretty shitty household but her relationship with her father make it bearable until Stolas did a 180°

He randomly started to prioritize Blitz and don’t spill me the bullshit of ‘he’s trying’ he stopped trying long ago.

Let’s analyze this episode by episode:

In Loo Loo Land, Stolas seemingly tries to rebuild a visibly strained relationship with his daughter by bringing her to a park she liked when she was a kid. To this, she immediately responds with an “I’m not 5 anymore.” and an “I rather kill myself.” There’s no room for miscommunication, she doesn't want to go there, and she won’t enjoy it as much as she did back then. Still, he decides to go there, showing that he doesn't listen, and, he brings the one the thing that is currently ruining his already horrible marriage because of his own actions. Blitzø.

He’s trying to spend time with his daughter after a long time (this is mentioned in the episode) and he decides to bring in that one guy he’s hooking up with to deliberately make sexual remarks about him in front of her.

She’s uncomfortable the whole time, not just because she allegedly doesn’t like listening to her father's comments but because she doesn't like the park. She said it, yet Stolas doesn't acknowledge it, he doesn't realize the faces she makes which are to me pretty communicative of her annoyance and discomfort.

This is not even subtle body language, yet he only notices it when she runs off. The worst part is that he still finds a way to think about Blitzø when his daughter leaves.

He looked upset that Blitzø didn't follow him! Did he expect that guy to pursue him constantly? He was in the middle of an argument with his daughter, I personally would have stepped away to give them space to talk and reconcile. But no, apparently Blitzø should be at his beck and call all the time.

But you know what, after all of this. He still apologized. That absolutely does not negate everything he did during the day but, at the end of it, he finally listened to her and even brought her to a place she actually wanted to be. Which is good, he acknowledged her discomfort and did something she liked.

Until Seeing Star.

Look I know Stolas was busy with Stella but he clearly doesn't care about her and her stuff.

Don’t tell me he couldn’t pinpoint Stella’s location with magic and teleport all of her belongings to her. Their discussion was barely about the furniture, he could have said that they were gonna be delivered and hung up the second he saw Octavia. Arguing with Stella is pointless, he’s the number one guy that should know that! Why does he continue to insult her, he’s just fuelling the fire!

Moving out her belongings would have been 10 times faster if he just hung up the phone, then he could have had a more mindful talk with Octavia without the constant bickering of his ex-wife.

But he didn't for some reason, fair enough, I guess. The writers do whatever they want. Anyway, Octavia got angry and ran to go see the stars on her own.

So, Stolas’ castle is in Pride but my point still stands, Octavia had the time to run from home and make the way all from her father's place to the city, find the specific building Blitzø held his organization in and Stolas didn't notice a thing.

You cannot tell me Stella managed to get his attention for that long AND you cannot tell me that his castle is close to the shitty disaffected building and the populace. His daughter ran off and he did not notice a thing.

Not only that but he has the nerve of blaming Blitzø for not watching the book. Like, dude! You should have watched your daughter instead!

Then he spills out more bullshit.

I don’t know Stolas, how could you possibly find her when you were shown to have countless abilities to do so?

Like bubbles projecting the image and locations of people.

Or that on time when you possessed corpses and one woman just to go full eldritch monstrosity just for one that one guy you’re cheating your wife with. And don’t whine about “They don’t love each other.” it’s still affecting his family, mainly his daughter so it’s still bad.

Of course, you do all of that without your grimoire without any problem, brushing it off with a…

I guess he forgot his ‘ways’ when it came to Octavia. But honestly, Loona literally found her easily just by looking at her Instagram account, couldn't he just call her or something? The girl had her phone the whole time and he didn't just think of calling her.

Me when I forget that I have teleportation power when I am in an enclosed space with nobody is looking.

You’re certainly not worrying right now. Via literally told him to his face that she was scared and he kept flirting with him even though he once again caused her to run away because of his neglect.

He’s not trying his best, THIS IS NOT TRYING!

No Loona, his daughter communicated very clearly issues related to their relationship, rather than reassuring her and being there for her as much as it’s realistically possible (he still has duties to carry), he gets in an avoidable petty fight with his ex and keeps an unhealthy dynamics with an imp he's been obsessing over. He doesn't focus, his priorities aren’t straight, and now Octavia feels abandoned.

I did mention that I had a good relationship with my father back then, but it stopped abruptly. His focus changed and he went out with friends after work and gradually stopped spending time with me. Until we never spent time together again, (to give you an idea the only moment where I could see him was in the morning for breakfast) now that can sound silly but I was a child, with no friends and a neglectful mom, losing the only good thing I had in life broke me. I knew his schedule, I knew he was spending time with work buddies and that just stung my self-esteem even more leaving me feeling like a burden when I was just a kid who wanted to feel love.

This is why I don’t like the “He’s trying.” I know what a trying struggling parent looks like and I know what happens when they stop. If you keep trying to do something and you’re constantly failing, either your technique isn’t the right one or you’re not and you’re convincing yourself you are.

And then there are people that’ll tell me that “He lived through the abuse of Stella for years for her.”

If you read all of this then I don’t feel like I need to explain how Octavia was at least partially exposed to Stella's toxic behavior and was affected by it.

For those who don’t know how it feels to live with an erratic mood-swinging person, it’s pure constant stress. You have to think constantly before you talk or move because you know that if you fuck up you’re gonna pay the price. And if you still eventually mess up you can never know with these types of people! You can’t defend yourself because the punishment will be far worse. You are ALWAYS in the wrong.

So he lived through the abuse of Stella just so his daughter could get neglected and abused in a less physical way?

The difference between my parents and Octavia is that they love each other. Stolas doesn't give a damn about Stella, he did say he was nice at first because he empathized with her they were in this shitty situation together, and fine, it's reasonable. But she never changed! Stella stayed the same! Why didn’t he leave her when he stopped carrying about her?! There’s no trauma bounding, Stella isn’t guilt-tripping or manipulating him, they got the child he could have divorced her easily without consequences! If anything, she’s the losing part of this divorce she’s lower in the hierarchy! “Andreaphul will get angry.” HE’S A MARQUIS! Hierarchically speaking Stolas is far more important and he mopes the floor with his peacock ass!

Am I supposed to be empathetic with that one dude who willingly let his daughter grow up in a hyper-toxic environment with an emotionally neglectful and unpredictable wife?! Am I supposed to believe he cares when he kept sleeping in his house in his bed with the same guy his daughter clearly is worried he’s going to leave her with?! Really?!

Don’t ever tell me that this is trying.

[kyruskumiho27]

Warnings: •none to be concerned about •fluff •also angst (it’s literally a small but promise😋)

Summary; Miguel Ohara thinks he might be in love

Miguel Ohara hasn’t felt anything in a long while.

Not since the death of his beloved daughter, not since the downfall of the one universe he could be happy in.

His heart was empty, going along with the motions of life. Being responsible for an entire multiverse and spider society was exhausting, but at least it was a small distraction.

He’d overwork himself to the bone, just to get rid of that horrible achy feeling in his chest. Still it was never enough. His mind couldn’t help but draw him back to that awful memory.

And the memories before it. Of his precious daughters laugh, her bright smile as he carried her on his shoulders.

Those little moments, where they would get ice cream or play at the park.

He’d cry himself to sleep those first few nights. The pain of her loss hurt him, and her memory made it even worse. Eventually he stopped feeling anything, only cringing slightly when he saw even a glimpse of his past. Yea, it hurt, but life goes on, right?

He had a whole operation to run, people to take care of and save. He’s never make that same mistake again.

He’d never let anyone get to close.

Until you.

You with your bright smiles and far to overjoyed personality.

With your chipper good mornings and your even more obnoxious goodbyes. He couldn’t get you out of his head.

You’d smile at him anytime he was near, and he couldn’t understand why. He made no move to acknowledge you, not even an attempt to get to know you.

And yet he knew everything.

He knew you preferred tea over coffee.

He knew you hated working on an empty stomach.

And he knew you just loved to talk. He swears his ear would have fallen off, your constant and endless rambling about literally nothing and everything all at once.

You’d skip into his office unannounced, and just start yapping.

At first he hated it.

Why would you bother him, of all people?? Did you not know he was the fearless leader of the spider society??? Protecter of the arachno humanoid poly multiverse????!!!!

But then he got used to it. Enjoyed it over time actually. (He would never admit that).

He’d come to look forward to your little “discussions”. Random topics anywhere between how many more spider people were really out there to why his face was on the burger in the cafeteria.

These moments, they reminded him of a happier time.

He chased that feeling, and he chased you, figuratively, until he realized; holy shot I have a crush!

Well, Peter not so discreetly pointed it out.

And Miguel couldn’t get the stupid idea out his head. He started noticing the small things he did for you, the special treatment he gave you and only you.

He tried to limit his contact with you, until you came to him puppy eyed and sad, asking what you did wrong.

Hw tried putting himself on more missions, but that just drew you closer, fusing at him about being careful and not putting to much pressure on him.

After another short while he realized he was falling in love. (This one he figured out all by himself aren’t you proud🥹?) and he hates but likes it all at the same time?? You were good for him, he knew. But he refused to. Refused to get near you only for you to be taken away from him.

He knew you were stubborn. Knew you’d try to help him, get him to break down bak walls

Eventually he did, little by little. And fuck himself if he didn’t love it.

*I know I know😞 preg reader x Miguel is coming, I just had to write this down before I forgot. You’ll get your smut and fluff loves don’t worry🫶🏽🎀

[flame-shadow]

A breakdown of my quirrel!nosk comic from last year (original post here) since I like doing breakdowns and talking about my process, and I know at least some people like reading those things. :)

First of all, a little background. I made that comic in an evening with just a pencil, a black marker, two grey markers, and a yellow-orange marker. (All markers had a thick tip and a thin tip, and all were water-based markers, so they don't blend like alcohol markers, but they can still be layered to affect the values) I had a text post from @g0at0ad saved in my drafts that said "gotta say. massive missed opportunity to not have nosk mimic quirrel to lure the knight into its lair." and finally, I had an idea for how to illustrate the reveal and felt I had a decent idea for the nosk's design.

I wanted to follow the same encounter order as the game provides, and by happy coincidence, I realized that the route from first sighting to nosk den includes the hot spring, so it made perfect sense for that location and the real Quirrel to appear in the comic.

Ghost spots a Quirrel-like figure in the darkness in the first panel, and then as the path continues and drops into the hot spring, there's (real) Quirrel, so clearly that's who Ghost saw a minute ago. Yay, friend! And since Quirrel explores around, it's not strange that Ghost would spot him again in an area not so far away, though it's odd how he got ahead of them. Perhaps a different tunnel? And it seems like Quirrel wants to lead the way to something, so Ghost follows, until- That's not Quirrel.

In addition to the potential of a reader already knowing the game's locations and recognizing the path to the nosk's den, there are other visual clues that subtly communicate that something might not be right. I made it so every panel but the hot spring one has black silhouettes encroaching on the space within.

The third panel is the mildest one being encroached upon because Ghost doesn't yet feel like something is off (still reassured from seeing Quirrel in the safe hot spring) but the trap is coming together. The existence of the spider web in the corner is a nod to the trap because it's a common visual symbol for being trapped.

Also note how both the first and third panels have some safety via straight panel edges. Contrasted with the fourth and fifth panels which have no straight edges as Ghost cannot escape and there is no safety.

Another subtle reinforcement of danger vs safety is how the use of black is very limited in the hot spring panel. It's a brighter room mechanically, yes, but it's also a Safe Room. The only black is Ghost's void parts and a thin outline around Quirrel (and also a bit of shading on his arm that I did out of habit before remembering that I wasn't going to use black to shade him here, oops!)

And, note that in the only panel with Real Quirrel, he isn't framed against a darker shape in the background.

Okay, and finally, I will share a bit about the nosk reveal panel and its design...

This pose and angle are dramatic and all, but they're The Worst for showcasing the actual design of the nosk! Just a complete mistake on my part that I did my best to roll with, since I didn't realize until too late how I'd messed myself up.

Which happens! I don't always get it right, and especially when I'm working traditionally, there's a point where I can't go back, so I just have to make do with what I gave myself. :) I don't hate what I have here, but I have been dissatisfied with it ever since I drew the lineart.

A thought I have had since then was that maybe I should've drawn it larger, to be more threatening? Maybe a different pose to show off the side-body frills? I explored a couple ideas below, but honestly, I think the whole panel would have to be reworked to get it right.

Making sure that the background frames the nosk effectively would be one of the main things I'd redo, but I'm getting tired and don't feel like drawing more, so I'll just leave it at the nosk replacement sketches.

And since I don't think I did a good job with displaying the nosk's design effectively, I quickly sketched some of the features to maybe show them off a bit better.

I like the gimmick of the nosk turning its head, so I pretty much always maintain that with my nosk designs. This one is no exception. Quirrel's head and face become the cranium and upper jaw while Monomon's mask becomes the lower jaw - the extra length causes an underbite. I've always been a fan of when people add a veil hanging from Monomon's mask while Quirrel is wearing it, so that's where the frills come from. ("Why didn't you include the veil in your Quirrel drawings, then?" I hear you ask. And honestly..... I don't know! That could've been an oversight or it could've been deliberate and I just don't remember my justification. That happens sometimes XD)

Anyway uhhh yeah! I think that's it. I like making comics. I like thinking about nosk. Tadaa~

[quasi-normalcy]

Why Deep Space Nine wasn't as popular as the other 90s Star Treks when it aired

So I keep seeing this one kind of conspiratorial text post circulating around which asserts that Deep Space Nine wasn't as popular as the other Star Trek series from the 90s because Rick Berman hated it and deliberately sabotaged it, and also (somehow) marginalized references to it in canon even decades after he stopped having absolutely anything to do with the franchise and just...no. Like, I have no idea how Rick Berman personally felt about Deep Space Nine, but what I do know is that he co-created it and executive produced it and basically ran the entire Star Trek franchise during the 90s, so if he *really* hated what it was doing, he could have just put his foot down and stopped it. Moreover, he didn't marginalize references to Deep Space Nine in canon; Voyager getting into contact with the Alpha Quadrant and learning that the Maquis had been exterminated by the Dominion (something that happened on Deep Space Nine) was one of the very few plot points on that series to have repercussions for more than an episode; First Contact featured the Defiant; both Insurrection and Nemesis have references to the Dominion War. The post is reacting against a problem that doesn't really exist.

But it does raise the question: why *wasn't* Deep Space Nine popular when it aired? And I think that the answer might be difficult for people who weren't alive and conscious during the 1990s to understand, so I'm going to try to lay out the reasons:

Serialization was only just becoming a thing on adult American television: I know that this might sound a bit difficult to believe now, but there was a time when networks really hated serialization and, with context, it's not too hard to understand why. In the 1990s, there was no streaming; there weren't even any DVD sets. Any given episode aired once at a designated time. If you missed that time, then your options were to wait until it was rerun a few weeks later, or again during the summer (and the networks would often air reruns out of order, so good fucking luck with that), or to hope that one of your friends had recorded it on a VHS tape. Otherwise, you just couldn't see it. Even worse than that, networks could arbitrarily pre-empt their own programming. Like, "Oh, you wanted to watch Star Trek? Well a baseball game just went into overtime and it brings in ten times as many viewers. Hopefully you won't find it too jarring if we just begin half an hour into the episode." So you can understand why this would have a knock-on effect on serialised storytelling; if you've missed one episode, and the subsequent stories depend on plot points from the episode, then you're just going to be confused. But even beyond that, if you're not used to serialization as an audience, then you're not going to be on the look-out for context clues. "Oh, that alien just told Quark about something called 'the Dominion'? Oh that sounds important--oh, wait, no, they got to the end of the episode and nothing happened with it. I guess it wasn't important after all."

The Star Trek name: This one seems a bit counterintuitive, because of course the name should be a draw to fans of the other series, but you have to remember that, at the time in question, the franchise consisted only of the original series and movies and the first six and a half seasons of TNG. Now, these differed in several ways, but what they had in common is that they were all about a bunch of moral paragons who flew around in space in shiny starships, having episodic adventures. That was what Star Trek was. And then you got a new series about a bunch of morally compromised characters who sat still in space on a gungy old space station having serialised adventures. It's not the same thing, and so a lot of people who wanted the first thing tuned out (which was, in fact, why Voyager had to be created), whereas a lot of people who wanted the second thing might not have tuned in because they figured it would be the first thing. And this of course brings us to the third reason:

Babylon 5: So stop me if you've heard this one before: it's a serialized drama from the 1990s all about a bunch of humans and aliens having to coexist on a space station as they navigate diplomatic crises and gradually become enmeshed in an elaborate space opera story arc. It features a race of aliens who can be called "highly spiritual", a race of aliens who have recently overthrown a decades-long brutal occupation of their homeworld by a crumbling and overstretched empire, a race of aliens who are often mistaken for gods (and who cultivate this misconception), and a mysterious new threat emerging onto the galactic scene, eventually culminating in a seasons-long war arc. I am of course describing J. Michael Straczynski's science fiction masterpiece Bablyon 5, which he, and a great many of his fans, regarded (and not without reason) as having been ripped off and pre-empted by Paramount in the form of Deep Space Nine. Now, looking at the evidence, I personally think that most of the similarities between these series are a sort of convergent evolution; but, whatever your opinion on the matter, the fact remains that these two fandoms hated each other during the 1990s. And the net effect of this was that a bunch of SF nerds who would probably have really liked DS9 if they had gotten to see it never watched it at all as a matter of principle because as far as they were concerned, its very existence was a corporate ploy to bully an upstart rival out of business.

Anyways, for all of these reasons, it's not remarkable to me that Deep Space Nine never became as popular as TNG and Voyager; and because it wasn't as popular, it makes sense that Paramount would be more circumspect about greenlighting Picard-style sequels or Lower Decks or Prodigy-style spinoffs to it (and indeed, I'm not convinced that all of the writers have even seen it). But I think that it is a testament to just how good DS9 was that it still managed to get the same seven seasons, even if it never drew in the same audience

[locke-writing]

Okay, I made a rant post about it, but Tumblr posted the draft rather than the finished one, so my points went uncomplete, so let's try again. Yes, this is about the N*zi drama bullshit happening in the EverymanHYBRID fandom.

TLDR; Stop defending Summer. EMH fans are not the problem. EMH itself is not the problem. The problem is N*zi supporters clinging to the N*zi reference and twisting it for their own agenda.

People defending Summer are not grasping the full situation and are contributing to sweeping harmful content under the rug instead of doing something about it.

It does not matter what your intentions are. If you draw a N*zi/Swast*ka in a cutesy little art style, it's a hate symbol. It's hateful content and makes you look like a N*zi supporter. Putting anything of this nature in a remotely good light is going to ruin your chances of ever being respected.

Summer drew a cutsy little N*zi in a sexual situation and then turned around with, "I don't support them!!!" Are you actually being real right now? Holy fuck.

I literally couldn't give a rat's ass about talking to Summer about this because holy hell, their "I feel so bad" guilt trippy shit will not work on me. There was no formal apology and no deletion of what was made. Summer is not sorry, they just don't want the heat.

Well, guess what? Brandishing a swast*ka is exactly how you get it, and until those posts come down and it's acknowledged in a non half assed way, you're gonna keep getting the heat.

Summer is making ALL OF US look bad. Summer is scaring people away from joining the fandom.

Depiction does not equal romantization. EverymanHYBRID used N*zis to disgust the audience and make HABIT a universally hated character. It was a throwback to an old media trope that mainstream movies do all the time. "Ooo, N*zi experimentation created a monster, ooo, spooky corny villain!!!" This is not the problem. Movie depictions of these fuckers were always made in a mocking light, and it seems like EMH did the same thing.

HABIT could barely remember who they were and spoke about them like they were shit on his boot. From what I've heard and seen, both the creators and the fandom agreed on minimizing and rewriting this reference out of EMH. You know why? Because people turned HABIT into a slutty fanonized mess of a concept. HABIT was not made to be romanticized for a fucking reason. They thought they were safe to use this trope because they weren't banking on people being ravenously thirsty and then using that reference as an excuse to connect N*zis with the "sexy serial killer" thing. HABIT was not to be sexualized in any way, shape, or form. HABIT was a mockery of real-life evil people. Dehumanizing monstrous people.

And then people turned around and humanized him to a terrifying degree. They made him "relatable," and people are raving about making him the new Tumblr sexyman.

Some of you guys, not all, but some, have no idea what the hell HABIT was made to do and it creeps me the fuck out.

Summer drew HABIT wanting to fuck a Jewish person. They drew a swast*ka next to a drawing of a real-life, non-celebrity, volunteer actor. It's disrespectful and just fucking mean, dude. On top of that, the Amon Göth quote??? The dude ran a labor camp, you've got to be kidding me.

"I'm just a history buff!" All N*zi supporters are history buffs. Your excuses mean nothing. If you didn't mean it, those art posts would be gone.

It's not the fandom or EMH itself. We agreed on being mature about this. Don't pin some 18 year old kid's edgy N*zi bullshit on anyone else but the person doing it.

[firefly--bright]

Reiner Braun modern headcanons!!!

a/n : the jean one I did did pretty well as a post, so I decided to do for my babygirl too (19 yr old war criminal) :)

warnings : none!

tagging : @mrsnobodynobody

✿ main masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿ requests are open! ✿

• loves animals. TO DEATH like if he sees any stray puppies or kitties, he will rescue them immediately. he'll pull over just to get out of the car and save the babes

• piggybacking off of that, he's also a foster dad for these pets. like he'd take them in. he has two cats and they're kind of on the old side (because he felt bad just leaving them at the shelter), one of them has grey and white fur and he's named her McFlurry (yes) and the other one is actually a cat you and him adopted together - an orange tabby that the two of you named calcifer (from howls moving castle :) )

• used to play like all sports during his entire academic life. he's played so many sports at this point like you'd think you know a niche sport that you didn't think he'd know the name of? he's played it. even rugby.

• hates the way his nose looks, but starts loving it more after you develop a habit of tracing the contours of his nose with your thumb (it makes him sleep too)

• loves to cook! he'd make any experimental recipies that he found from an obscure source on Pinterest. it almost always turns out good but if it doesn't then he tweaks it up until it tastes good.

• like jean, he's kind of not really into physical touch at first, but the more you show it, the more he falls in love with your touch.

• extroverted introvert. feels the need to be nice and be friends with everyone (literally knows everyone you've ever bumped into) but he prefers to stay in and not talk instead. he's glad he gets to sit in silence with you because he feels fully comfortable with that.

• strangers to friends to lovers typa guy (I have a fanfic idea for this but I'm too lazy to write it), like he's seen you before and because he feels the need to know everyone's names and stuff, he decides to befriend you. he's not boisterous or cocky or overconfident, he's actually really nice and down to earth. you start getting closer, he starts working at the same place you work at, which brings you even closer and he falls in love

• and he falls HARD like. when you ask him if he can remember the one point in time where he realised he was in love with you, he doesn't have an answer, because with him, its kinda like... he fell for you in a collection of moments. like you brushed his hair away from his face and he's like "oh that's nice" and then you gave him a thoughtful gift for his birthday, again, he was like "oh that's...super nice" - just little moments like that made him Realize™

• has a complicated relationship with his mom but they're on okay terms now, like apart from the usual motherly criticisms, they're doing pretty well!

• blushes like a damn tomato. he cannot hide if he's flustered for the life of him.

• he tries to hide it, but he LOVES being pampered. he loves it when you massage his shoulders, he loves it when you put those under eye masks on him, loves it when you draw a bath for him, etc. like at first he feels,,, kind of like a burden when you do those things for him, but he slowly starts to think that maybe, just maybe, he deserves this.

• super patient. if you're having a bad day or something, not only does he immediately take notice, he'll wait for you. he'll ask if you want to talk about it or if you just want him to be there, and if you say you want space, he'll give it to you and wait for you to come to him when you need him.

• he knows how to braid hair because of Gabi. when he was 17, he'd braid gabi's hair into two pigtails whenever she came over to their house for the summer. (he's her favourite cousin and vice versa but both won't admit it to eachother)

• loves to knit!!!!! his ideal date is literally just cozying up on the couch with some blankets and hot chocolate or soup and just. knitting. if you like knitting or crocheting too then bonus points!

• speaking of knitting, he also wears chunky sweaters that his mom made for him. warm toned, chunky and soft sweaters are literally all his closet is made up of. except in the summers, he wears loose fitting tank tops in the summer heat.

• religious note-taker. if you share a class with him, expect him to furiously take notes at a godly speed every class. and it's not even a messy handwriting, it's actually recognisable letters that are pretty easy to understand. he'd give those notes to anyone who missed class that day.

• people rely on him alot, and at first in highschool he kind of felt pressured by it, but he's grown into that role. he's a gentle leader.

• speaks german. you'll find him speaking in German to Gabi and his mom whenever they call <3

• speaking of calls, he only picks up if it's a loved one calling him. Gabi sometimes calls him just to annoy him after her school day is over and she's just roaming around the house. at this point Reiner knows all the gossip in gabi's middle school, being super attentive when Gabi talks about her school. like he knows ALL the lore.

• loves watching those relaxing vlogs. like those cooking vlogs with nice music in the background and captions instead of voiceovers. he loves those.

• has prescription glasses only for reading <3

• overthinks so hard. like even if he goes out of his way to talk to and know people more, he hates the after-conversation anxiety that comes with it.

• when he kisses you, he kinda hugs you. like his hands aren't on your waist, they kinda wrap around your back and shoulder and his hands are spread out so that he feels more of your skin.

• loves calling you dove or angel, cause that's exactly what you are to him.

• talks with his hands, very expressive with his conversations. it's very easy to know when he's uncomfortable/doesn't like someone he's talking to when his hands are crossed over his chest.

• he writes. like journals all his feelings out. just like his note-taking, he's very on routine about it. every night, or every other night, he'd sit down at his desk and use the pen he's kept especially for this journal, and describe the day in detail. it helps him alot :)

• he kinda does this small little,,, soft exhale when he smiles. like his lips don't quirk up fully, but you know he's smiling because of that small sound.

• full bellied laughter kinda guy. you crack a terrible joke and he starts out letting a small tiny laugh at it and then it turns into a chuckle and then the next thing you know, he's clutching his stomach and wiping the tears from the corner of his eye because he's laughing so much. which is so ???? you tell him it wasn't even that funny but to him it very much Was.

• his reactions are SOOOO funny. like you're telling him a story and he'll have visible reactions to it. he'll cover his mouth with his hand if he gasps, put his hand on his chest in surprise, scrunches his nose in disgust - like he literally cannot hide his emotions.

• likes jazz and classical music. no I will not elaborate.

• can't Instagram. he uses emojis unironically. he has one (1) post and it's you and him together, eating ramen from the same bowl (a pic that bert took to send to porco)

• even if he doesn't use Instagram that often, he'll always check if you posted. if you've posted something then he will make it his personal priority to spam comment the heart eye emojis. your entire comment section is Reiner sending 🥰🥰🥰 and 😘😘😘 and 😍😍 and all the diff coloured hearts.

• loves taking pics of you against the sunlight or like. infront of a beautiful scenery. he likes taking goofy candid pictures too, but the ones where you're just being lit up by the sun are his favourite because finally, there's an actual accurate picture of how he sees you.

• overall, the Reiner I have in my head in a modern a.u. is incredibly soft and will dance with you in the living room in the dark with no music playing because that's how in love with you he is.

[cant-shake-it]

How to Make a Printing Screen from Home

I wanted to share a quick cute little tutorial for how I made my own screen for making patches (and other things that don't require exact measurements). Cute lil how-to under the cut >:)

Disclaimer: I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing at any given moment. There could be a better tutorial out there for you. I'm just guessing for a lot of the things I do and this is no exception. With that out of the way:

THE SUPPLIES YOU DEFINITELY ABSOLUTELY NEED:

a small/medium canvas (depending on what you have and how big your design will be)

paintbrushes

a tight-woven sheer fabric (preferably not stretchy and STRONG)

a fine-tip pen

water-resistant gloss of some kind (mod podge works, but make sure it's a waterproof kind if you want to make more than one print)

paint that won't come off in the wash (acrylic/spray paint work)

good strong tape

a good sturdy card-like thingy

an easy/cool design for your print :)

THE SUPPLIES THAT ARE RECCOMENDED BUT NOT NECESSARY (aka things I like to use):

a good canvas fabric/thick cotton for printing on

fabric paint (will stay on the fabric best duh)

a 1/2in, 1/3in, and fine tip paintbrush for details (depending on your design)

some company for fun :)

Alright, so first you'll want to figure out the design you want to print out and get a good sketch over it. I'm a detail freak so I like sketching out my design then going over it in a black pen. The ideal is hard contrast and clear and discernable lines/fill-in spots, like pictured below:

(Note how I emphasized which spots were to have thicker lines, which parts of the stripes were to be printed, etc. I tried to think a lot about which portions I wanted to show up on the finished design and how they would look on the fabric as a whole.)

So you've got your design. Great! Next step is a fun one: Grab a canvas you are willing to part with (this one was a painting I made when I was 16. I hate it), and rip all the fabric off of that fucker!! If you pull off some staples in the process, don't worry. Just make sure you can retain the shape of the frame, since that's the part you'll need to keep. You don't need to take off every single bit of the fabric, but as previously stated, I'm a freak, so I did. You'll come out with something like this:

For the next steps you'll need a good pair of scissors as well as your pen and your sheer fabric. You're going to want to set the frame on your fabric and cut about an inch and a half around it so there's extra to wrap around the frame and tape down. You can draw a guideline for where to cut if you want, but once again, I'm a freak:

Now lay the front of the canvas frame (the part without staples on it) face down on the fabric and grab your tape! Now we're going to tape down each end of the frame so the sheer lays taut on the frame. I like to put one or two strips of tape on the ends parallel to each other and pull them tight, then do the same with the other side, then continue adding tape until the whole outside of the frame is covered. See below:

(Note: your goal in this step is to stretch the sheer as tight as it can comfortably go so there are no wrinkles or depressions in the fabric.)

So now you have you're frame. Fuck yes!!! Go ahead and grab the design you came up with as well as your pen (you can use a pencil too, but the pen shows up much better through the fabric so I definitely prefer it), and put the frame front side down onto the sketch.

If you're worried about keeping the frame steady, feel free to tape the frame down and go ahead and trace over the design with your pen. Make sure to fill in all the dark parts enough that you can differentiate them from the light parts.

Once you have your sketch copied to the frame, now you can grab your gloss!!! Hurry!!! You're almost done!!!!

With this step I like to start big and go into the details once all the larger portions of the sheer are covered. Pretty much you're going to paint over every part that isn't the black of the pen with your waterproof gloss. This ensures that once you start printing, the only parts that are going to bleed through the fabric will be the black parts that weren't painted over with gloss/varnish/mod podge/whatever you used as long as it's waterproof!!! Take all the time you need, it's not a race. Once you're done and the gloss has dried, your screen is going to look something like this when put up to a light:

Now that this step is over with, congratulations - you have just made a mesh screen!!! Keep reading to learn how to use it lol

So for the patches that I make I just went with black and white paint, and black and white fabric to keep it traditional, but you can use any colors of paint and fabric you want, truly! The world is your oyster! I do not care! That being said, we're keeping it simple today.

Grab your screen, a piece of fabric that can cover the design and leave at least an inch of space around it, and a surface you won't mid getting paint on on accident. You'll also want to grab that card-like thingy for this as well. It can really be anything that can provide a sturdy, even pressure across the screen consistently. Go ahead and pick up that fabric paint too, I guess. We'll probably need that.

At this point, this is what your workspace might look like:

Next up you are going to center your design onto your piece of fabric-

-and grab your fabric paint. put a thin little stripe over the top (start slow and add more - as you can see I added a little too much and kinda fucked up my design) then grab your card thingy. Make sure you have even pressure on it and swipe it down at a medium speed so you're dragging the paint down the screen:

Once you've got everything covered I like to go over it a few more times for even coverage. Then you pull it up from the screen (which you might want to rinse off so no paint sticks to it!!!), wait for that bitch to dry, and you're done!! Congratulations, you have your very own fun silly patch! Go sew it on something! Or not! I do really do not care!!!!!!

[luciddaydreamsstuff]

Desert Duo Doodles! I am in way too many fandoms to count, including content creators and whatnot. It wasn’t until a doodle of some CCs that I realised how many were MCYTs. But I wanted to draw these two cause I liked how I drew Scar in the other original doodle and have drawn Grian a bunch but constantly changed the design. Now I have one that I like.

Under the cut are the individual drawings plus stickers that I forgot to add to the original but decided fuck it it’s done, plus some explanation about design choices and headcanons. (Does anyone even care about that?) Idk and idc, I’ll ramble anyways.

(you don’t have to read the stuff, I don’t really care, but you can if you want)

First off, this one was annoying since it was supposed to be a hug. I was too lazy to draw the Third/Sercet Life outfits, so they are in their default outfits with crowns representing the fact that they won at least one of the Life games.

Ramble: For Grian’s design, I wanted to keep the bird/avian hybrid but also reference other series or past friend. The Life series has the poppy has memorabilia, the blue and red bracelet represents YHS/TS, and the eye necklace is for Evo. The tail is more so a mix of Watcher magic and Avian DNA, bird feet cause why not. The wing ears are hidden to look similar enough to his regular hair, I like to imagine that wing ears are a rarer trait and to not draw too much attention, he would use Watcher magic to change the colour of the wing ears to match his hair. The freckles are based off of the idea that Angel Dust’s freckles are actually just eyes (which were shown in the show), and I liked that idea. He didn’t have freckles before Evo but after in Hermitcraft he did, they are just eyes that are always closed though he can see out of them. It’ll be clearer in the next piece, but his eyes are based off of some bird eyes so a black sclera with coloured pupils. Grian just hides his eyes under his hair since they are more sensitive than normal. Also I didn’t wanna draw his eyes cause it was one of the things I kept changing before.

I’ll go into Scar later since it’s just a half body but he goes by the same rule of his outfit showing where he’s been. So the poppy and lavender for Third Life and the heart necklace for Secret Life. The earrings are based off of the crystals from Season 7.

Alter Egos! Or at least Hot Guy and Arianna Griande. Not much here, but you can see what I meant with the eyes beforehand.

Also, I can’t be the only one to notice or at least point out that Ari and Cute Guy have like the same or a least a very similar colour palette of pink and white.

Final one, and the two are taking a much needed nap. This could take place anywhere though I like to imagine somewhere in Double Life or somewhere between Season 7 - 10

(also I find it very funny how close these two’s bases were for Season 6 - 10. both were near each other in the futuristic district of season six, then next door neighbours at the start of season seven, I don’t need to mention much besides boatem in season eight, again near the start and most of season nine with Scarland and Grian’s timejump build, then finally again in season ten with Magic Mountain. just funny to me for some reason)

Ramble: Scar is like a hybrid between an elf/fae creature and a cat centaur (that I cannot remember the proper name for). The cat half is based off of Jellie, RIP, and his body is scarred because well I mean the dude is accident-prone it’s bound to happen. I imagine that Scar would wear slightly baggy outfits, like they hang off just a bit to not hug his figure. His hair is more based off of Season 9 with him leaning into the whole elf aesthetic, and I both hate and like the hair but whatever. Idk, I kinda just wanted to make him centaur based cause that visual isn’t something I see often. I imagine that hind legs are weaker than the front so he would switch between a cane and a wheelchair that you would see for animals. I might draw that later idk, but yea

If you actually took the time to read this incoherent mess, idk comment a content creator you like, no matter how niche they may be

[bordysbae]

can you do 8. “are they fighting again?” “worse, they’re kissing” with Alex Turcotte?

“round what?”

alex turcotte x reader

warning: cursing, slight mention of underage drinking

you and alex never end on good terms. you’ve never actually dated, but everyone knows you guys are only interested in each other. but somehow the both of you managed to mess up the two other previous attempts at being a thing. alex being the first one to mess up used the excuse of ‘well we aren’t dating,’ and you used the same one on him two months later.

you met through a friend group, and the group has been awkward ever since you and alex ended, again, nearly a month ago. if the group decides to hang out, they always do it when either you or alex cant come. there has been a few times where you and alex are there at the same time, but you avoid speaking cause it just causes problems. as you’ve learned from past experiences.

“alex can you stop glaring at me when i talk to jack? jesus, i’m not allowed to talk to my friend?” you scofffed in the beecher-family kitchen.

“i just don’t appreciate seeing my ex all over my best fucking friend,” he shrugged.

“your ex? we never even dated alex! you’re so self absorbed it’s crazy honestly,” you angrily chuckled.

“we basically dated, you can’t tell me we were nothing,” the dark haired boy stated before he sipped the water from his glass.

“you’re joking right? you literally used the excuse ‘we’re not even dating,’ alex! this is so stupid, i was literally just talking to jack. you’re so fucking insecure, i cant deal,” you rolled your eyes as you exited the kitchen.

but now you’re sat at the group event with a raspberry white claw in your hand. being in the same room as alex is going fine, until someone gets the bright idea to play truth or dare. “turcs, truth or dare?” trevor asks with a devilish smile on his face.

“dare, i’m not a wuss,” he cockily shrugs before taking a sip of his beer. a few ‘ooh’s can be heard, making alex’s massive ego inflate ever larger.

“good answer! i dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with y/n,” he smirks, making both you and alex’s eyes go wide.

“what?! hell no man! no offense y/n,” alex says, turning to face you during the last part of his sentence.

“none taken,” you mumble making jack push his shoulder into yours.

“alex, i thought you said you weren’t a wuss? you know if you skip the question you have to shoot fireball, right?” cole chimes in, making alex groan. he rises from his spot on the L shaped couch in the hughes’ family basement, and he gives you an ‘im sorry’ look as you stand up as well. trevor sets his timer as he locks you both in the closet.

you sit on the floor by the coats, and alex sits against the wall in front of you. your legs are stretched out by his waist, his doing the same. you can’t help but notice the small hole forming in his gray socks as you avoid eye contact with the boy. “i’m sorry,” he blurts out, drawing your attention from his socks to his face.

“for what?”

“everything, y/n. i’ve always been such a dick to you, even when we were talking. but god do i miss you,” he admits as an adrenaline high begins to form from the nerves.

“you do?” you hesitantly question.

“of course i do. do you even realize how much i liked you? hell y/n, i still do. i hated myself for hooking up with that girl at the party, and instead of admitting my wrongs i used some dumb excuse. and then i changed myself for you, but when we started talking the second time you hooked up with that guy. which really hurt. i know it shouldn’t have, but that’s when i truly realized how much i had hurt you when i was the one did it. so yeah, i miss you. a lot,” alex rambles.

your face heats up, and you scoot across the closet closer to him. you readjust yourself so that you’re sat next to him, and turn to look up at him slightly. he then leans in, and you connect your lips to his. you guys continue kissing for a moment, until trevor unlocks the door and gasps. he snickers before closing the door and heading back to the group in the other room.

“i’m so done with them!” trevor groans as he sits back down on the couch.

“are they fighting again?” cole asks.

“worse, they’re kissing!” trevor chuckles, making everyone’s eyes widen and a few laughs escape.

“this round what, like.. seven?” johnny teases.

“it’s round three, but hey third times a charm!” jack shrugs, just as you and alex walk back into the room.

[nor-4]

For the first time.

I wanna cry so bad tumblr didn't post the part two this just because my net is slow n now i have to restart over again. I'm so disappointed, this will probably the bad version of pt 2. :(

Pairings - Mike Schmidt ft Mean!Reader.

After learning about the whole animatronics thing it weirded you out but yet you are curious, after seeing how they act it made you think that maybe they are just a child.

You headed home from the pizzeria, you just knew that you had a strong bond with abby. Everything that came out of you when it comes to abby is just normal.

As you were about to go to sleep you decided to snoop around the old box of your belongings when you were a kid, you found a crayons and a empty drawing book.

You love to draw when you were a kid so your mom used to spoil you with them, you wanted to give this to abby. Never in your life have you ever really cared for a child.

A whole 12 hours had just passed and it's your shift again, you were walking to work until vanessa saw you and gave you a ride since she is about to go to that old pizzeria anyways.

"Hi vanessa, hi (y/n)." Abby greeted as she started running on where the animatronics are, "Mike.." Vanessa said as you turned at her hearing her tone gives you heart attack you just knew that she is mad. "So you knew about the animatronics?" Mike asked as both of them started talking about the animatronics as you continued sweeping the place.

Suddenly abby asked for help and started making a plan about doing a really big fort for her and her friends, "Maybe we can use the table as a fort.." Vanessa said as an idea for the fort.

They started working on it same goes the animatronics helping as you are still cleaning after the fort was finished abby started calling you so she can lay down beside you.

Vanessa excused herself to go get a cloth because it's about to rain and we need a "roof" mike followed her to the stock room as i sighed staring at the ceiling.

Being left out like this makes you heart ache, you always hated this kind of feeling especially when you were a child.

"okay everyone. Now pick your partner for the project." Your teacher joyfully said as you were at the corner of the room watching your classmate scattered around looking for their partner, disclosing their hate with each other if needed just so they won't be partners with you.

You bite your lower lip thinking someone will ask you if you wanted to be their partner, but sadly you were placed on the room where students are on an odd number.

"Hey (y/n) you don't have a partner. Do you want to have a group project with the others." your teacher asking you if you want to push yourself over people who doesn't even want to be close to you, "No ma'am I'll just work by myself." You politely said through the loneliness you are feeling.

You hang your head low playing with your fingers holding back your tears as you feel their eyes burning into you as if you did something unforgivable.

"Hey (y/n) are you okay?" Abby asked concernly as she sat up to look at you, "I'm fine abby don't worry about it." you reassured abby with a smile.

"How about we go for a dance?" Abby asked as she stood up same goes the animatronics as the bear type of robot started singing as abby is dancing while holding your hands.

Abby stood up to the stage as you told her to be careful as you were distracted by hearing vanessa and mike fighting over something that you don't want to know. It's your first time again hearing someone fight so seeing it makes you feel like you wanna cry.

You grew up with an alcoholic father and a workaholic mother, they often yell to each other, destroying things and almost killing each other.

Everything happened so fast you heard vanessa yelling something as you felt something hot hit your face almost hitting your eyes, you ran on where abby was as you saw her laying down on the ground.

"Abbyy.." you said as you lightly shake her hands as a cough escaped her mouth from the smoke, "What happened?" abby asked as she stood up as you scoop her for a hug reassuring her that everything is an accident.

You guys packed up your things because vanessa had said that mike and abby needs to go home and get abby some rest. You are on the car with abby as she hugged you from your tears on hearing them yell outside, she doesn't understand what is happening at the moment as she just comforted you based on how you feel.

You wiped your tears as you feel mike had entered the car, "She looks angry.. Why does everyone look at you that way?" Abby asked on sight after seeing vanessa angry, you wanted to dissappear on sight but mike insisted that you shouldn't be out walking this late.

Drive home is quiet since abby had already fallen asleep and you are still a bit awkward around mike, you carried abby to her room as soon us you guys got home cause abby was clinging into you.

You set her down to her bed she looked at you as if she wanted to ask something but just let it go, "Goodnight (y/n)." abby said as she closed her eyes from her tiredness. "Goodnight abby.." you whispered as she was already asleep.

You are about to left the house since your home is just near here might as well just walk it, until you were stopped by mike who is sitting outside looking at the sky as if something miracle is about to happen.

"i didn't hear anything from you earlier.. Everything all right?" mike asked as you sat down beside him and was taken a back by his question, you never thought you'd have this kind of conversation with him it feels so cozy, comforting and peaceful.

"I'm gonna be honest with you.. I feel left out earlier." You said as you were playing with your fingers again, "I know, i wanted to help you but i couldn't.. It's vanessa." mike sighed as he stopped in the middle of the conversation.

He started talking about his brother and everything they went through he feels like vanessa is stopping him from finding out everything, he describes his trauma to you as if he had met you for a very very long time.

"And you know.. I really liked you, i thought i was just going crazy until i started thinking about you the most random times.." Mike said as he looked at you as you look at the moon as it lights up your beauty, "I liked you too mike, you are a very nice man. I thought i was just bored and then i started feeling something as if I'm jealous." You stated as you looked back at him.

He wanted to cherish this moment with you, if he had a three wishes from a genie he would wish two times to comeback to this moment and the third wish is he wanted to live every years he had with you.

"Since you had confirmed that i have a chance with you. (Y/n) will you go out with me, i know i won't be a perfect man for you but i will do my best. I promise i will never disappoint you (y/n) just plea-" You cut off mikes speech mid way with a kiss as you hold both of his hands. "stop it you dummy, yes i will go out with you." You said as you smiled at him while he looked like he is about to cry.

"(Y/n) i really love you. I will earn your reciprocation of my love." Mike said as he kissed both of your knuckles as you giggled on how loser he is being, "I know you will mike.." You laughed as he admire you gosh he is about to melt.

"Can you please stay just this once?" Mike pleaded as he wanted to cuddled you up and make everything up to you since you confesses that you feel left out earlier, "Yes mike.." You stood up as you brushed your pants.

"And it won't be once mikey." You told him as you pressed his nose with your point finger as both of you giggled like a high school lovers.

Mike guided you to his room as he pulled out a shirt and pajamas for you since he doesn't want you to sleep on a work shirt, unexpectedly you stripped infront of him as he closed his eyes as if he doesn't have any permission to see you.

"Mike stop being a coward, we are together now." you remarked as you put on the pajamas as you helped him get his vest off so he can change his shirt, he was still shy so he changed pretty fast which made you giggled.

You lay down on the right side as mike was on the other side, he cuddled up to you it's not like those tensed up cuddle this one is the comfortable one. Both of you have been longing for this a very long time ago plus both of you are tired so the sleep is very cozy for mike. Pretty much he sleeped through the night without taking a sleeping pill.

[justthemoonz]

In Stars and Time Character analysis - Loop until you've Changed

I haven't done a Character Analysis in a really long time, the last one that I did was for something relating Deltarune. But I really liked In Stars and Time and wanted to do a Character Analysis on one of my favorite characters from the game. Also known as "Loop" (I also made this analysis while in a DM with a friend, and I thought I'd share it here too).

This analysis will OBVIOUSLY have Spoilers for In Stars and Time so be warned of that... Anywho let's begin

First of all, this is mainly a few things I've gathered/noticed from my own playthrough, so it might not be FULLY correct (so feel free to correct me with anything about it, and I'll update it!!), I also will take into account the QnA for the game, but only a few specific things

Loop is a very interesting character, from start to end. But the thing that really made me wonder what Loop's deal was, was when they mentioned the "royal We" in my first conversation with them

After this, Siffrin will reply with "That doesn't make ANY sense."

To which Loop replies with something similar like "Ah, right, I guess it doesn't."

After that...

Loop tells you to call them by "they/them"

If you already know the deal with Loop, you don't need me to explain what makes this interesting, but if you still don't fully know, Loop is Siffrin from "Start Again: A Prologue", or at least it's heavily implied

So why does Loop specifically want you to refer to them with "they/them", as opposed to just having the same gender as Siffrin (he/they)?

We already know from the QnA that Loop doesn't actually mind he/him to be used on them, but they want to be called they/them for distinction

But I feel like there's a lot more than that to it, and that involves Siffrin not being happy with themself

At some point in the game, you can interact with a book about body craft, talking about how Siffrin wouldn't mind changing their body if they had the time, but they will still use the "meat prison" they are currently in for a little while

Which made me think, if Loop is meant to be Siffrin, isn't Loop just... a version of Siffrin who has gone through self reflection on their own journey?

Something like "I might have suffered a lot, but I've discovered myself better in the process"

Maybe the turning into a star person thing has more meaning than just being a cool design choice, maybe it's because during Loop's own journey as Siffrin, they've "ascended". We also know that Loop has no actual idea how they look like, up until Siffrin draws them (if you do that interaction), so there's that too

Which also makes me think that the Silver Coin situation might also have a bit more symbolism to it, especially when it involves Loop

Sure, they're both Siffrin on the surface, one side of the same coin, but we know that's not at all true when we get to...

The dagger scene

I think this was the point for me where I realized that the Siffrin we play as completely hates themself, and wouldn't mind just ending their own life, if it means it gets the job done faster

While Loop very clearly is against the idea

But why? If Loop was Siffrin, why would they care? Wouldn't they agree on it? Because they also hate themself, just like Siffrin does?

No, Loop doesn't hate themself, at least not anymore, and instead hates the idea of someone that is basically them, before this entire journey, seeing their own body as "nothing but something disposable and useless"

The Loop secret fight is also a different can worms, the only real explanation I have for that is Loop doesn't mind being Loop while Siffrin is stuck in an infinite Loop, but the moment they break it fully, Loop would rather throw away their own existance in order to be someone they used to be, just for the sake of being with the ones that used to care about them in their own adventure

Forcing themself to be someone they aren't anymore

That's about it for this analysis, again I apologize if I've basically gotten EVERYTHING wrong and this doesn't actually make any sense... as I said I haven't done a character analysis in a long time, so I should have probably looked deeper into the whole thing, but this was, again, more of what I've personally gathered from my own experience of the game

I do hope you still enjoyed it, though!!

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

"i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know." for Victor

Destroy this boy with a flirty letter ;)

Picking up postman and squeezing him like a squeaky toy lol

Rated: Mature | Warning: none

Rarely does anyone send letters between each other, a few times a letter is sent from a hunter to a survivor but none send a letter among the same faction. Postman, Victor, apprentices you using the pen and paper to communicate with him. When you first met him, he would shy away from you, energetic as Luca, he barely could keep up. Then one day you started using your hands to make strange gestures.

“Helena taught me sign language so I can talk to you!” The joy on your face as you thought you created a bridge between him and yourself. You did but not the way you thought. Victor is mute, selectively mute, and he prefers the words on paper rather than verbal words.

The first letter you sent was mostly rambling about the day as you did not see that whole day due to matches and the occasional break to recuperate before once again going to a match.

The second letter asks him questions. Colors, food, a season, anything you could think of that is not invasive. Victor answers them while slipping in a few details you did not ask about him in order to seem more open. You matched it as you spoke about things before you came to the manor.

Then the letters between you both became a common way for you two to communicate until Victor, in his room with you, spoke softly. A small ‘thank you’ had you in tears of joy as he trusted you. Few can claim that— Literally three people outside of yourself.

And as the bond between you both grew so did feelings that started being expressed in the letters. His words are gentle, dancing around cautiously; while yours are to the point and announce your interest.

As someone from a time ahead of his, Victor felt it made things easier.

What is not easy is how you flirt so casually without shame or fear, people of your time move fast compared to his time.

The letter in his hand is held in a furious grip before closing it and facing it down; his face is red as he cannot move his eyes up to look at you across the dining table. Your foot rubs his calf, nearly making him jump.

A simple few words have his mind scrambling: I'm not wearing any underwear. Thought you should know. Love, (Name).

You smile at him, your fork playing with your food. Luca is beside you talking to Andrew and Aesop, all of them distracted while you are playing footsies under the table with Victor.

“Are you okay, V?” The nickname you gave him, “You feeling sick?” How can you see that while your foot is rubbing his crotch through his pants!? He should close his legs but… That look in your eyes is drawing him in.

“Your face looks flush,” Comments Andrew, “Maybe you should rest.” It makes sense given Victor has been in back-to-back duo matches recently. Those are a headache.

“Good idea!” Luca chimes in, “(Name), can you take him?”

“Of course.” Smiling as you get up from your seat, “You guys take care.” You place a small kiss on Lucas's cheek and Victor is standing up grateful for his uniform covering his lower half. The Postman waves goodbye before you tug him away out of the dining room.

Aesop watches the two leave before looking at Luca who is smiling too much, “You know something.”

“Maybe.” He does and completely changes the subject.

Victor pins you against his door with his hands on your shoulders, his eyes on you as his brows are knit together, “Are you really?” Low but you hear it.

“Yes, I'm not lying.”

The Postman should have known since you are wearing a skirt, yes, a skirt. You hate skirts! You complain about them especially when in a match. Yet, here you are in a long skirt in his room… Without underwear.

“Show me.” An edge to his sweet voice, his eyes and head tilting down.

You grin, “Okay.” Grabbing the middle of the skirt and lifting until you hear that gasp of surprise and cool air on your exposed lower regions. “Victor?”

He swallows loudly, “Can I?” His one hand off your shoulder, “May I?”

“Of course, this is for you.”

You might have underestimated Victor. You expected to be the one guiding and in control, dominant but gentle. No, Victor took over with his mouth on yours, a leg between your legs, and his hand that has your hands gripping the back of his uniform. His mouth never leaves yours, the sharp intake of air only when you both are dizzy, and you are the one making the most noise.

There are sweet whispers between kisses, those three words that have you begging him to touch you more.

Both of you barely get to the bed, fumbling a bit to strip, tripping and falling on one another but luckily on the bed.

[duckieduccss]

NEW KAIJU OC?!?!

Well, yea technically. Basically i was interested in figuring out how id go with making my own kaiju. At first i wasnt sure where to go for designing one. So i chose to base it off another existing kaiju for inspiration. I kinda wanted to go for a dragon type kaiju (i like dragons) and the only thing i could think of was Ghidorah so i went with that (now that i think about it more, I could’ve maybe used Manda too prob but oh well, Ghidorah was still a good option). I added some different details to mine that make it unique to the og Ghidorah

My idea was that it could potentially be a relative to Ghidorah (being of the same species) but still far apart from one another to the point they arent all that aware of the other existing (theyre in for a shock when & if they do encounter each other lol). This version actually relies on cosmic energy derived from such sources like stars & generally anything that produce some form of energy within the vast universe (basing it off how Ghidorah themselves originally came from space & this variant being much more dependent on that factor). It stores that energy & relatively stays in a dormant stage for an extended period of time until when faced with the challenge to defend itself or fight off those it deems as a danger. Then it would release all that ginormous amount of space energy that manifests itself as a rapidly expanding glow of extremely bright light. Enough to cause extreme damage & bring down the opposition. It can gather energy by using special crystals it can grow (took that also as inspiration but from Space Godzilla) & become as some form of attracting & absorbing the energy. In a way, the energy is like its main source of food & energy to maintain itself (right after releasing a lot of it during its final attack of using that glow, it would be put in a highly vulnerable state if not recovered by regaining some energy back soon enough). For the most part, they mostly sleep (being lazy 24/7 just like me fr lmao) to keep all that energy but can be potentially dangerous if disturbed or provoked in some manner

(Here’s a better closer look at their faces. Realized the canvas’ too big to properly see each of them-)

The name of this kaiju you may be wondering???

It’s Ryudorah

(Yea i know im the most creative person out there. I combined another nickname i use for myself and just added the end part of Ghidorah’s name to make it clear it’s related to the other kaiju. I couldn’t think of anything else im sorry😭)

And also each head has its own individual name:

Do, Re & Mi

(Named after intervals in the musical scale (ex: Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do)

Did i mention this kaiju can also technically sing too :)

I did have a lot of fun with coming up with the concept for them (tho it honestly took longer in designing them due to a busy schedule ive been put in as of late & finding the time to finish it) but im glad to finally be able to share this with you all. Hopefully I can share more about them soon (i have a whole google doc’s worth of lore lmao) & probably draw them again (tho maybe a lot more simplified by then). Didn’t wanna overwhelm ppl with the huge amount of info so I’ll prob slowly reveal more over time.

[Another thing too is that i still am new to the fandom (tho with more knowledge from getting to learn more from the source material) & most of this i gathered from already know stuff i knew. Tho im also open to feedback & maybe some ideas to add onto my own kaiju. So id very much appreciate it if there’s any suggestions from you guys ^^⭐️]

(I’ll only be taking constructive criticism btw. Anything hateful will obv be ignored)