#i want to catch him before he falls off the cliffside

[steakrogers]

my favorite thing is to cry and cry as i read the end bit of catcher in the rye <3 i do this to myself

[skyloftian-nutcase]

For the prompt event, if I’m not too late…?

Healthcare Legend and some whump? Idk exactly how that would work but if that’s not something you can work with, just regular Legend whump, if that’s okay.

Thank you very much for considering!

Gritting his teeth, Legend pushed himself to get up. His knuckles were bleeding from where he’d been desperately scrabbling for purchase as he’d fallen down the small, rocky cliffside. His hip was killing him from where he’d landed on it, and his world was still spinning a little.

That didn’t matter. He had to find the others and warn them. He had to make sure the monster horde didn’t catch them unawares as it had him.

They’d split up to do reconnaissance. Legend had originally had the option to go with Wild, but after having explored with him before, he’d declined, going alone.

It was a stupid move. He knew that. He knew that. But he’d wanted to stay on the trail while Wild was going to wander off, and instead of arguing with him, he’d let the champion and the traveler scamper away into the woods, giggling as they went.

But now they could be in danger.

It started to drizzle, the cold rain pelting against him. It felt like tiny needles digging into his skin, intensifying every ache.

Get up. You can’t let them get to the others.

If the monsters got to Hyrule and Wild, it would be a disaster. The two were powerhouses in their own right, but they were uncoordinated as a pair. Legend didn’t usually step in to lead the group, but he’d seen how strategy would quickly fall apart the instant something went wrong. Hyrule and Wild were among the worst offenders.

Legend took a step forward, grabbing his hookshot, and fired it at the vines at the top of the cliff. He had his sword at the ready as it pulled him, feeling his shoulder scream in protest at the sudden jerking motion. He’d long since learned to brace against it, but falling down that cliff seemed to have aggravated the area.

An aeralfos noticed his approach, charging towards him as he flew upward. He didn’t exactly have any maneuvering ability while his item pulled him to the top, but he managed to use his moment to drive the sword towards his enemy, slicing at its throat as it hissed and tried to claw at him.

The black blooded creature fell to the ground, injured but not defeated (if it hadn’t been cursed it would have been eliminated - this blasted shadow monster had to make everything so stupidly difficult), giving Legend a moment to catch his breath and drive his tempered blade into its chest. It twitched a little under the blade before growing still.

Legend nearly fell backwards when he removed his blade, completely off balance and dizzy. He shook his head, blinking water out of his eyes again.

It was just water, right?

He scrounged through his pouch, hoping to find a potion. Instead, he just found magic elixirs. He rolled his eyes. Typical. He’d forgotten he’d given his last potion to Four. How could he have been so careless, wandering off his own without the proper equipment?

Some veteran of the hero business I am, he grumbled as he trudged forward.

Whatever. They all had off days. He wasn’t going to let this one lead to the others getting hurt.

Legend marched ahead, sword at the ready, eyes alert for the other monsters that he hadn’t yet eliminated. They couldn’t have gotten too far.

That assumption turned to utter bewilderment as he continued to move onward. He wandered into a clearing in the forest with a burnt out husk of a building in its center. He… didn’t remember this. But he hadn’t wandered off the road, either.

When had he wandered off the road? He’d been tracking the beasts, had they come through here?

Legend shook his head a third time. Was it still raining? His face was wet.

Movement caught his attention, and he crouched down, hiding behind a half destroyed foundation. He saw a few bokoblins ahead, and he realized he’d finally caught up.

He remembered there being more monsters than he saw. He could handle three bokoblins and a few keese. And with swift work and expedient use of his varying weapons, he wiped them out quickly.

It was strange, how relieving that was. It was so relieving, in fact, that he promptly fell over.

“Ow,” he grumbled irritably, trying to push himself sit up again, noticing that his knuckles had at least scabbed over from their earlier cuts.

Again, Legend dug through his pouch, wondering if he really didn’t have a single potion to spare. This was dumb. This was so unbelievably dumb.

Groaning, he let himself collapse on the rocky ground. Fine. He’d just lay here. Whatever. The battle was over anyway.

The sky was glowing golden, like embers of a dying fire, heralding the coming night. Legend scrunched his face in annoyance at it. He’d rather just lay here and die than let anyone find him in this state, but he knew they’d start looking if he didn’t make his way back to camp.

The only problem was, he had no idea where he was. He wished desperately for a bloody map.

It was amazingly frustrating, how he could be so experienced in these journeys yet he could still find himself in such a predicament. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been doing this since he was a kid.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and adrenaline shot through his entire body, jolting him into alertness.

His mind immediately started trying to rationalize that he was okay, despite his automatic reaction to the storm. You’re not at sea. Relax.

He was in the middle of a clearing, though. Exposed.

Legend immediately sprang to his feet, stumbling towards the trees, and promptly fell on his face as soon as he got some cover.

Okay, something was definitely wrong with his head. And his hip was still killing him.

Legend suddenly felt entirely alone. He felt so utterly alone in a place that was completely foreign. It was a disturbing feeling, and far, far too familiar.

He’d always traveled alone. He’d make friends along the way, but inevitably, he adventured by himself. And that was fine. So why did he feel…

He sighed heavily, rolling so that he was on his back, hissing as his hip protested the maneuver.

He missed Zelda.

He missed his uncle.

He missed his fellow heroes, his friends.

He was going to die here alone, wasn’t he?

He couldn’t die here. He had a mission to accomplish, and he’d never let anyone down.

But there were eight other heroes who could do the job jus as well, weren’t there?

Pff. Hmph. Do it just as well. Whether they can do it or not isn’t the point. I set out on this quest myself.

The rain started up again, heavier than before, soaking him to the bone. He shivered, and the tremors turned to outright twitches whenever lightning tore across the sky.

The noise was overwhelming and deafening, and Legend suddenly wished he was laying face down again. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the flash of light behind his eyelids every time thunder roared.

When a warm hand touched his forehead, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Hey, easy! It’s just me.”

The voice was familiar, the subtlest hint of a twang, like a rabbit poking its head out of tall grass.

The Hero of Twilight.

Legend felt an insane amount of both shame and relief. Of all the others to find him, at least it was Twilight.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Warriors as well, and his cheeks immediately flushed.

Shooting to his feet, he nearly headbutted the captain by accident as he insisted, “I’m fine, I was just resting a moment.”

“Right,” Warriors drawled, completely unconvinced. “Veteran, you’re bleeding. Just sit down and let us help you out.”

“It’s okay,” Twilight assured him, ghosting a hand over his back, knowing Legend didn’t particularly care for physical contact all that much.

The veteran hero looked between the two, soaked and freezing and in pain, and he relented, easing back down to the ground with Twilight’s help.

“What happened?” Twilight asked gently while Warriors looked for a potion in his own stash.

“Monsters,” Legend replied dully, not quite wanting to admit that he’d wandered off alone. “I… didn’t want them to find the others. Or you guys. Or anybody.”

Warriors and Twilight exchanged a look, and it appeared that the captain was gearing up for some kind of speech when Twilight interrupted his attempt, putting a reassuring hand on Legend’s shoulder. “We’ve got it from here, okay?”

“They’re gone,” Legend said. “I took care of it.”

A proud smile crossed the captain’s face, and he helped Twilight sit Legend up as he held a potion. “I’m always impressed with your ability to fight. It’s definitely clear that you’re the veteran among us.”

Legend swallowed, feeling strange about the compliment coming from another Hero, especially from a knight. He felt unbelievably vulnerable and small in this storm.

Twilight pulled off his pelt, wrapping it around Legend’s shoulders, while Warriors held the potion to his face. The veteran tried to huff in protest, but it petered out of him before he could even try. Instead, he leaned more into their support, feeling the warmth of the wolf pelt, and wordlessly let Warriors help him drink the potion.

Even with its bitter taste, with the warmth of its magic flowing through his veins, he felt utterly spent. The world was no longer spinning, though, and he shriveled into himself as he was made even more aware of his pathetic state.

“Little better?” The captain asked, his tone surprisingly gentle.

“Yeah,” Legend mumbled, cheeks flushing. “Thanks.”

Twilight smiled warmly, wrapping the pelt around him a little more. “Let’s head to camp, then.”

Legend tried to protest the coddling, moved his shoulders a little to get the pelt off him, but it was so blasted warm, and…

The elder heroes took either hand, helping him stand, and though he didn’t wobble and tremble as he had been, he let them guide him along.

He was having an off day anyway. He… might as well just… let them help him.

He didn’t always have to be alone, after all.

[irisintheafterglow]

Heyy, van I get a suguru geto x reader based on this playlist pls? Creative freedom, I just enjoy the playlist and your writing

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVNLTHYHuG3QRkaWiIAoNztVS2Ad51M3j&si=R_K3McCdTLK9Vc3H

tell me that you love me, love me till my lips turn blue

summary: for the first time in what feels like forever, you're paired with suguru on a mission. he gets...distracted.

wc: 1.13k

cw/tags: best friends to lovers, some language, canon-typical violence, mutual pining, suguru is the #1 lovesick idiot when you're not around, a little suggestive toward the end but nothing explicit

note: HIII you always have the best requests!! this is short and sweet but i was listening to the playlist nonstop while i was writing and oh MAN was it an experience. like ok powerful reader and powerful bf duo with doja playing in the background?? and then a good ol' makeout session at the end? delicious. hope you like this, thank you for your ask!!!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated :)

“They’re practically lining up, hmm?”

“Guess they’re excited,” you smile contemptuously at the Curse syndicate in front of you, all seven of the most wanted Jujutsu defectors this side of the prime meridian. Your partner on the mission huffs out an incredulous breath and you see him scowl out of the corner of your eye. “Do you need a–”

“Yeah,” he mutters and you wordlessly hand him the black hair tie from your wrist. You always kept extras when you were working together because he was sure to lose the one he brought; it was basically tradition, at this point. “You wanna take this round while I fix my hair?” 

“Sure, be right back,” you say carefreely as you shoot him a wink over your shoulder. He rolls his eyes lightheartedly at your antics and you decide to show off a little bit. Let’s gamble…25%. You stretch your limbs from side to side before raising a hand, sharply pulling it into a fist when you latch onto the energy signatures of the group in front of you. With such a low gamble, the effect of the additional energy is instantaneous; a quarter of the energy for every enemy in front of you basically over-replenished your own reserve. With the supplemental energy and your opponents temporarily stunned from the energy-theft, you send a single arc across the entire group and render them on the verge of unconsciousness. You mentally kick your technique up to 80% and absorb the remaining Cursed energy, leaving the syndicate groaning and incapacitated. After texting the higher-ups to dispatch a cleaning crew, you check on Suguru’s progress with taming his unruly hair. “You good?”

“Mmm, yeah. Just gimme a little longer,” he says absentmindedly, pulling his hair back over and over again until he’s satisfied with it. “I don’t know why I’m bothering with this, since the mission’s basically over. On paper, at least.” 

“Any idea where that last defector went?”

“I sent out a few Curses to go find him, but chances are he’s long gone by now. Satoru will probably end up catching him.”

“Oh, he’s gonna be so mad that he has to, you know, do his job,” you joke and he chuckles softly under his breath. It sounds like sunshine. “Any hard feelings that you didn’t get to save the day?”

“The opposite, actually,” he corrects and the look he gives you has your face burning. “I’m happy I got to see you in action. It’s not often that we’re paired together.”

“I know, and I’m sure you miss your awesome, amazing, gorgeous, talented best friend.” Your elbow knocks against his bicep and he shoulder bumps yours in response.   

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he drawls, waving a dismissive hand and your jaw drops in fake displeasure. “Just admit you missed me, already.”

“Not if you won’t admit it first,” you reply nonchalantly, in stark contrast to the increasing rhythm of your heartbeat. You were walking the ledge of that dangerous cliffside again, on the verge of completely falling for your best friend without knowing shit about his own feelings. It was selfish, allowing yourself to love him, but you couldn’t find the motivation to stop. “Let’s get out of this shithole; I’m craving some of that taiyaki we saw earlier on the–” 

Your words are abruptly cut short by Suguru’s hand gently but firmly covering your mouth while the other hand tugs you into a dark nook of the cave. He quietly shushes you and glances in the direction of the footsteps approaching from around the corner. You don’t focus on anything he’s trying to tell you, though, because your mind is short-circuiting from his proximity and the fact that he hasn’t taken his hand away from your arm. In fact, whether consciously or not, his fingers rub little circles onto your skin and your vision becomes a little starry. You weren’t sure if the affection was to relieve his anxiety or yours, but you sure weren’t complaining.

“Stay here, yeah?” He briefly takes his hand away from your mouth but doesn’t go far, repositioning it beside your head due to the cramped space he’d pulled you into. He’s close enough that you can feel his breath, minty from the gum he stole from you in the car. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Gonna take care of that last asshat out there and then come back and,” he inhales, eyes flicking down to your lips for a nearly imperceptible moment, “probably do something stupid.” Before you have the chance to ask what he means, he slips away and you hear the sound of faint rumblings. Chunks of rock crumble on the floor, the thuds mixing with distant pleads for mercy. The iridescent scales of Suguru’s dragon cast rainbows on the walls in the dim light and, before you know it, he’s back in the corner with you, slightly more flushed but just as handsome as minutes prior. “Miss me?”

“Cocky asshole,” you mutter half-heartedly, absolutely sure that he could hear your blood pounding in your ears from sheer adrenaline. He looked intoxicating, staring at you so intensely that your knees were buckling against the wall. The tension was suffocating in the stuffy, dusty atmosphere and your impatience reared its ugly head. “Well?”

“Well,” he breathes, unable to tear his eyes away from your face. 

“You gonna do that stupid thing yet or not?”

“I’m thinking about it,” he admits quietly, one hand brushing the side of your cheek tenderly. “Can I–”

“Stop thinking and just do it, Suguru. I’m not getting any younger–oh,” you murmur, melting into him when he grabs your chin and kisses you with pure devotion. His hand against the wall next to your head turns into his forearm when you pull him as close to you as humanly possible, the other finding your hip and drawing more of those infuriatingly loving circles. When you finally break away long enough to catch your breath, his lips stay on your skin, pressing feather-light kisses to your cheek, neck, and anywhere he could reach. When he finds your ear, he whispers the sweetest little promises that make your head spin. 

“I would die for you, you know,” he says in a low tone that you want to bottle up and inject into your veins. “I miss you so much when you’re out on missions; it drives me out of my mind.”

“I gotcha,” you grin and he raises a sharp eyebrow in question. “I got you to admit you miss me.” 

“Time for you to keep up your end of the deal, sweetheart.” His forehead rests against yours and he lets you greedily pull him even closer, humming when you pull the tie loose and card your fingers through his hair. “Say you missed me too.”

“Mmm. I missed you too, you love sick fool.”

“Takes one to know one, pretty.”

hear that? yeah that's me barking

[sweetbutpsychobutsweet]

The Voice of Hunger

Chapter 7

Thorin Oakenshield x AFAB!Reader

Summary: You and the company need to make a quick departure from Rivendell, and the journey seems much more challenging now that you have begun your survival fast. How long can you keep your plan a secret, and how long can you keep yourself from strangling Thorin in your hangry state?

Warnings: hangry!reader, no use of y/n, implied eating disorder, mentions of smut, mentions of starvation, fainting, panic attack

author's note: I hope you are all ready to experience a tale as old as time: a hangry woman trying to restrain herself from committing murder😂

Word count: 1598

“Be on your guard,” Thorin calls out from farther ahead on the rocky trail, “we’re about to step over the edge of the wild. Balin, you know these paths, lead on.”

You keep your eyes glued to the ground beneath your feet, with one hand braced against the cliffside to help maintain your balance. Of all the places for the dizziness of hunger to kick in, why did it have to be here? 

The paths are narrow and treacherous. One misstep could easily send you toppling over the edge to meet the jagged rocks far below.

True to your word, you haven’t had a bite to eat since dinner. With the sun rising overhead you wouldn’t think it was that long ago. Except that being on the road for so long already meant rationed portions between you and the rest of the company. All of you had been deprived of a decent meal for quite some time now. And your anxiety over the orc pack on your tail and your fast-approaching cycle seemed to take even more out of you. 

Your entire body felt too heavy to carry. Your feet drag against the rock beneath you as you fight against the fatigue and dizziness slowly consuming you. 

“Master Baggins,” Thorin calls to the hobbit who keeps stopping to look back toward Rivendell. No doubt feeling conflicted over having to continue on without Gandalf for now. 

“I suggest you keep up,” he warns the hobbit. Both you and Bilbo know Thorin would leave him behind in a heartbeat, so he scampers off after the others. 

You hurry to pick up your pace, not wanting to fall too far behind the group. In your haste, you fail to notice the loose rock directly beneath your feet until it slips out from under you, sending you tumbling forward. 

A strong hand grabs you by the arm to catch you before you can fall onto your face. You catch yourself on the cliffside again with your free hand and look up to see a very concerned Thorin studying your face. 

“Careful, lass,” he says, his hand still on your arm holding you upright. 

You try to laugh it off weakly but he doesn’t find the humor in it.

“Are you alright?” he asks, taking a step back to look you over from head to toe. 

“You’ve been acting very strange ever since we left Rivendell.”

You should have known Thorin would notice something was off with you. Of course, he would. Even after all of the time the two of you spent apart, he still probably knows you better than anyone else in all of Middle Earth. The thought should comfort you but it doesn’t. Instead, it brings back a feeling all too familiar to you whenever you’re in his presence: anger. 

“I’m fine,” you snap and yank your arm out of his grip and brush past him to continue up the trail after the others. 

He doesn’t say anything in response to your sudden outburst but you can hear the heavy thud of his boots following behind you. 

How dare he act all concerned about you. And how dare you let yourself get that close to him in Rivendell. Honestly, what were you thinking? He abandoned you all those years ago, and ever since you stepped foot out of the shire he has done nothing but question you and your right to be there. And how do you respond? You let him finger you in the pool!

You try to suppress a growl of frustration, but instead, it travels down into your stomach to let out a roar of hunger. 

“Are you hungry?” Thorin asks from behind you, clearly trying to suppress a chuckle. 

“No!” you snap, throwing a glare back at him from over your shoulder. 

“You’re certainly acting like you are,” he mutters under his breath. 

You freeze in your tracks, curling your hands into fists at your side. 

Don’t do it you hear the voice of reason in your head beg, don’t pick a fight with him right now. But unfortunately for both of you, the voice of hunger seems to be the one in control right now. 

“Is there something you’d like to say to me?” you snap, pivoting on your heel to stomp towards him. 

His eyes widen in surprise as you bring yourself nearly face to face with him, tipping your head back to look him right in the eyes. 

“Do you think, you get to act all concerned about me now? Like I’m supposed to believe I can trust you with my well being after everything you’ve done?” 

He opens his mouth but doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“What? Do you think you’re obligated to care about me now because of what happened in that pool? Well, let me assure you that what happened between us was a one-time thing! It meant nothing! So if you think-”

“I think you’re cranky and need to eat something before you rip us all to pieces,” Thorin replies so calmly it only pisses you off further.

“Well I think you’re a pain in my ass!” you growl and stomp away from him again. 

Thorin lets you go without a fight, and you could swear you hear him chuckling softly from behind you. 

After a while, the high rocky terrain gives way to grassy fields. At first, the even pathway seemed like a welcome change, but the afternoon sun now hangs high overhead, beating down on your company hot and sweltering. 

Before your abrupt departure from Rivendell, you had the opportunity to change into more travel-worthy garments. You swapped your slippers for thick riding boots, and your flowy gown for trousers, a tunic, and a loosely laced corset. You had clasped a fur cloak over your shoulders to keep out the evening chill. It had long ago been discarded and shoved into your pack.

Despite the layers and layers of fur your kin wore, it seemed that you were the only one affected by the heat. They carried on unbothered, while you roasted away beneath your remaining layers. You tugged at the edges of your clothing, trying to air out the layer of sweat coating your skin. 

While the others laugh and chat amongst themselves without a care, you pull up the rear a sweaty, cranky mess. Thorin must have warned the others to give you a wide berth because they leave you to suffer in peace. Knowing better than to try and pull you into mindless conversation in your current state. Kili and Fili take turns wordlessly passing you the water flask every so often. You’re too tired to refuse their help.

After several hours pass in the hot sun you decide you can’t take it anymore. You groan in discomfort and reach for the laces of your corset. You tug and pull until the offending fabric is loose enough to be blissfully removed from your chest. You shove the corset into your pack and tug at the fabric plastered to your sweaty skin, letting it air out in the nonexistant breeze.

Almost as if he could sense you were removing clothing, Thorin looks over his shoulder at you. He raises an eyebrow in alarm and opens his mouth to comment. But you beat him to the punch, shooting him a look that dares him to try to start something with you right now. He closes his mouth and looks back at the path ahead, but not before stealing a quick glance at the curves of your upper body, now exposed from the way the sweaty fabric clings to your form. 

Fili hands you the water flask again and you silently take it with a long gulp. 

This is better, you tell yourself. Your stomach has stopped growling and you’ve convinced yourself that the dizziness and slight shake in your hands is a side effect of the heat, not your survival fast. The sun will go down soon and everything will cool off. You’ll be able to rest and gather your strength for the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next…

You try to find your inner strength by thinking of your home. Erebor. Those vast halls you grew up in. 

Halls now housing Smaug. The fire-breathing dragon that will most likely still need to be killed when you arrive. That is, if the orcs don’t get to your group first. 

Suddenly these approaching enemies and your all important quest all press down on you at once. Your breathing becomes more rapid, as your chest heaves, heart pounding. 

Why is it so hot?

Maybe if you take your tunic off as well you’ll feel better. You start to reach for the edge of the fabric but your fingers suddenly feel too heavy. Everything starts to become fuzzy, moving as if in slow motion as the world starts to spin around you. 

You think you hear someone call out your name, but you can’t tell. Your mind refuses to focus on anything else but the heavy weight pressing down on you.

Your legs finally give out and you collapse, the darkness closing in around you as a strong pair of arms catch you and gently lower you down. 

A frantic chorus of voices are calling your name but they all seem so far away and you can’t find the strength to care as you give up the last of your strength to surrender to the heavy darkness, drifting off into unconsciousness with the scent of smoke and iron heavy in your lungs.

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@mrsdurin @thetaekwondofeline

[whirlwindimagines]

Listen your Vash and Wolfwood writeups are my favorites right now!

If it’s not too much too ask, how about we get a reader where they don’t like to ask for help a lot. And the one mission they come back from, they end up having a hard time walking and ask Vash or Wolfwood to help them. Maybe they can carry them depending if it fits.

Can you tell I’m touch starved 🥹

Ugh same I want to be carried by Vash so bad, don’t mind me acting up. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed what I’ve written!! 💙😘 And I hope you enjoyed these little short stories, I hope this was what you were asking for. I am also very touched starved ;p; Haha I see you asked for either one, but I wrote something for both because I can't read correctly. 

Vash and Wolfwood (Separate) helping you while injured. 

Vash the Stampede:

You roll your eyes at Vash’s lecture, because seriously? He’s lecturing you about hiding injuries, mister oh I was just shot but it’s only a little bullet wound it’ll be fine. You begin to zone out thinking back on how you even got here…

You remember running, and then a small explosion the ground under you shakes and then gives way, you fall fast barely having time to scream out for help. Yet somehow Vash is there, peering over the edge of the cliff, eyes wide. He jumps after you, if you live, you’re going to kill him yourself.

You only fell a short distance off that cliffside before Vash manages to catch up to you, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you towards him. He takes the brunt of the impact when the two of you luckily crash into an overhang. Even with Vash shielding your body, you feel the hit of the impact hard. You must have hit your leg on the way down because it hurts like a bitch. You stare at Vash eyes wide, and jaw-dropping, you’re going to scream at him but Vash quickly gets the two of you to your feet.  

“Are you okay?” Vash asks as if he didn’t just fall off the cliff with you, “Yes.” your voice is breathless, but you mean your words beside there weren't time to think about it when the shooting continues. Both of you scrambled up the cliffside to get to some flatland and cover. 

Once the dust settles and the adrenalin subsides you drop to your knees, you don’t know where Vash had run off to at this point, you were thankful though wanting a moment to yourself to assess the situation. Trying to stand was painful, but you managed to get to your feet. Okay, you could do this, placing weight down on your right foot made you see stars. 

Grounding you self you leaned against a nearby building. You could hear Vash calling out your name, shit not wanting to worry him. You bite down on the pain and place the weight down on your foot lightly. 

It was fine you were fine, nothing seemed broke anyway. You called out to Vash, and he rounded the corner smiling brightly once he saw you. “You, okay?” You nod not trusting your voice for a second. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You say with a small smile, growing nervous under his gaze. 

You push ahead maybe making it ten steps before Vash grabs your arm, startling you. He looks unconvinced by your little show of bravery. “Seriously Vash I’m fine.” You say maybe a little harsher than you meant. Vash huffs places his hands on hips, as you try to contain an eye roll. “Your hurt!” 

Thus starts the argument, going back and forth for a good ten minutes. You are brought back to the present with a snap of Vash’s fingers, “are you even listening?” You sigh rubbing your temples now you have a headache, “I’m not, look it’s very sweet how concerned you are, but I’m fine end of conversation.” 

You turn on your heel, turning on the wrong foot you yelp and stumble catching yourself on a wooden crate next to you. You feel your face burn at Vash’s scoff, you’re going to give him a piece of your mind. Before you can Vash scoops you into his arms, one arm going under your knees and another around your back.

You blush even brighter stuttering over your words Vash doesn’t look at you a blush high on his own cheeks. “Can’t you just accept my help?” Vash whines, tightening his grip on you. Feeling like you’re going to cry either from the pain or the embarrassment of it all, you grip Vash’s jacket burying your head in his chest. “Fine.” You mutter, and then a softer ‘thank you’. 

Nicholas D Wolfwood:

You’re so tired, the blast of gunfire is loud off to your side. You wonder how long this fight will last, you’re sure once Wolfwood gets serious it’ll be over quickly. But you have no idea where the man ran off to, weapon in hand you aim around the corner and shoot. 

Your aim is a little off, but it doesn’t kill the man so small victories. Hiding back behind cover, you reload your weapon. When you move out of cover to aim, your face to face with one of the bandits. Oh man, you think as the guy lunges for you. 

Managing to sidestep the guy, you use your gun as a blunt object to hit them over the head. They move and you miss your gun coming down hard on their shoulder, they cry out in pain. Aiming your gun, you don’t get a chance to shoot though when the bandit backhands your face with his own gun.

You hit the ground hard, seeing black spots. You have no idea where you dropped your gun, but you try to scramble to find it. The bandit grabs you by your ankle twisting it hard, you cry out in sudden pain. Kicking out and away, the man not taking a liking to that stomps down on your leg hard. It was painful, but it doesn’t fully requester, as you finally get ahold of your gun and get a shot off. The bandit goes down, it’s quiet all around you. Maybe it was over? 

You force yourself to stand, swaying from side to side as you do. Taking deep breaths, you start to move the pain makes you take a miss step and you drop to your knees. A hand on you shoulder makes you lash out; the person catches your hand and you drop your shoulders when you make eye contact with Wolfwood.

“Shit sorry–“ 

“Are you alright?” He interrupts you, his gaze going up and down your body, you wave a hand dismissively, brushing his hand off in the process and moving to stand with the help of the alley wall next to you, his hands hover around you but he waits for an answer, “fine, guy got the jump on me that’s all” you were fine, you just needed some time by yourself to fix yourself up and you would be good.

“Oh yeah? Walk towards me.” You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, he’s standing there with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. Your too damn stubborn for you own good, and maybe a little bit too prideful. You snap a ‘fine!’ at him, before taking a step towards Wolfwood. The moment you put pressure down on your bad leg you crumple, but Wolfwood is there to catch you. 

Faceplanting into his chest you can feel him shake with laugher, as you blush brightly gripping his suit jacket in your hands. “This doesn’t mean anything.” You grumble out. Wolfwood laughs loudly, he maneuvers you a bit so he can swing your arm over his shoulders, his other hand resting on your waist. 

You are embarrassed but grateful that Wolfwood isn’t continuing to tease you as he helps you limp around. “Thanks.” You mutter it softly, he leans his head down toward you, “sorry didn’t quite catch that.” You can hear the smugness in his tone, you don't repeat yourself. The silence stretches out, but you hear him say a soft ‘you’re welcome’ and well it does warm your heart a bit, maybe in the future you’ll be a little better about asking for help.

[psychotic-nonsense]

Steddie Week Day 4: Trade / Body swap

------- it starts off super rough, warning for suicidal thoughts/intent and brief descriptions of gore -------

Steve is going to die.

He went to his room for privacy. His thoughts have gotten so loud lately, headaches so deep he can hardly see, and he just needed a moment to breathe.

But then he went to sit on his bed, and fell straight through it into the Upside Down.

Panicked, Steve had scrambled to get up. A hand had reached down to help, and without thinking, he grabed it.

Then he recoiled with how cold and rotten it felt. He looked up to face its owner, and was met with Barbara Holland. Half eaten, swollen faced, glossy eyed, dead Barbara.

When he tried to crawl away from her, two hands reached down to forcefully haul him up from the ground. Hands that were soaking wet, filling the thick air with an equally suffocating metallic stench. As soon as Steve regained his footing, he whirled around and backed away from the moving corpses.

It's Billy Hargrove. Bloody, beaten, black veined Hargrove, skinny from the chunks taken out of his torso and swaying with the imbalance of it.

They began speaking, bemoaning in their haunting voices how he let them die and left them to rot, Steve the Hero running like the true coward he was. The forest came alive with the chittering of Demobats, underneath it all an unrelenting mantra. I told you to make him pay, why did I have to pay in his stead, you didn't even kill him, you lost you lost you lost and I died for nothing-

And Steve didn't hear anymore. Because he ran.

He's being Cursed, no one knows it, and he's going to die.

No matter how far he runs, the forest gets no smaller, the calls of animal and ghost alike getting no quieter. He strains, runs though he can't breathe, crying out for help. But all that does is worsen the voices. Calling him a failure, selfish, why does he get to live, why did they have to die-

Steve loses his footing. Skids forward over the rough ground further than he should, unable to stop. Then his feet fall over a sudden ledge and he isn't slowing down and his clawing hands are barely able to catch a stray hanging branch before he's dangling over a cliffside.

His breaths are heaving, and his hands tense hard to keep hold of the branch. He knows he shouldn't but the creature sounds have only gotten louder, so he looks down.

Hundreds of feet down it's a rolling mess of black vines, dark smoke, and demo-creatures. They're all lunging for him, their snarls and screeches mixing with the ghostly moans, urging him to just give in submit fall.

A sudden crack breaks through the mess of sound. Steve turns back around, sees the rock holding up his branch begin to splinter, and he's going to die.

In between his desperate panting, words fall out. Words he means that no one who matters will ever hear. "I'm-I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Dustin, Nancy... R-Robin, Barb, Hargrove... I should- should've been more... I'm sorry, I can't-" He's cracking, the last of his desperation crumbling with the further breaks in the rocks. "I can't do it, I'm not... I'm not Max- Max, I'm sorry..." And as the cracks grow and his fingers slip, the tears finally fall. "I'm s-sorry, Ed... Eddie, I'm so sorry... It should've been me..."

And at the same time the crack finishes its journey, Steve lets go.

Everything quiets. Everything goes slow. It's almost freeing, knowing it's all going to be over, even though the terrified faces of his family flash through his head with every tear that falls. He doesn't want it to be over, he wants to live... but what right does he have-

Someone's calling out his name. A voice that gets his eyes to open, shocked at the blatant fear and desperation in it. Someone's falling right behind him, before him, reaching out for him.

Eddie. Eddie Munson. With all the same terror and need and pleading eyes that Steve remembers.

Steve automatically reaches back, shock urging him to beg just once more, somehow catching Eddie's hand. Immediately, he's crushed to Eddie's chest. Arms hold him tight, hands clenching hard at Steve's clothes.

Eddie feels real. Breathes and sobs like he's real. Warmth pulses through his clothes like he's real. Each brush of skin feels solid and soft and desperate and real.

So Steve holds him back. Tight, desperate to not lose him in their fall, no matter how real this may be. Shoves his face into Eddie's shoulder and closes his eyes and feels.

At least he won't go alone... At least in the end, he's not alone...

And then, like an electric shock, the world wakes up with noise. A familiar voice invades his senses, lamenting about a Mr. Crowley, as the world lights up in pure bright white behind his eyes-

Then another shock and he's gasping for air, falling from his suspension onto his bed and rolling off onto the floor.

Steve heaves, trying to regain his senses. The voices of his family surround him, echoing in his delirium, worried and scared. He breathes deep, attempting to respond... but his own voice beats him to it.

He finally opens his eyes, looking up from the ground he was kneeling over. There's no one around him, he's alone in his room.

His room that looks vaguely... fuzzy. And, come to think of it, uncomfortably wrong. There's a large mirror that rests opposite his bed that's now on the wrong wall, and the reflection is clearer than his own surroundings.

Except it's less of a reflection, and more of a portal. Through it, he sees his own body, sitting where Steve is kneeling, and staring at his hands. Shock and confusion is evident in every tremble of his fingers, and this reflection doesn't respond when someone says Steve's name.

There's something about it that feels familiar, a presence that Steve has longed to feel again for months. Steve unconsciously copies the reflection's position, and reaches out unsteadily. He wants to grab what he sees, catch the eye of it at the very least, just to know this is real like it was before.

Then another shock travels through his body, but this time, it lands hard in his fingertips and temples. He recoils sharply, face tensing up with a groan of pain.

But to this, his family reacts. Steve's eyes go wide, and he's suddenly met with reality. No fuzzy surroundings, with everyone right beside him. He shakes his shocked hand, rubs it, watches it flex and move just to convince himself. The presence from before is still there, but stronger now, like the person is right beside him.

He remembers the mirror, looks over at it, and freezes.

The others take notice, look at it too. Then they're freaking out, asking if anyone else can see it too, because it can't be real. Yet to Steve, it feels so so real.

The mirror reflects the room, but wrong. Fuzzy, without the others who are present. Where Steve's reflection should be isn't Steve. It's Eddie.

Dressed the same as he was in his final moments. Eyes as wide as the night they first found him. And that presence - the one Steve only felt during an Upside Down walk, at the front of a winnebago, in front of a trailer covered in vines - no longer feels like its beside Steve. Rather, like it's nestled right inside his heart, his brain.

Like Eddie's sharing the space there with Steve.

[peppermintstarsonamintyway]

cacaoviar content from yours truly

woohoo finally finished that cacaoviar fic- believe me when i say i opted to cut it short cause i didn't know where to go (i am not a writer help me)

anyway cacaoviar mini-fic technically for @limboraptor under the cut :thumbsup: (y'all are free to draw stuff about this btw)

It was an early morning in the snow covered, cliffside, kingdom, truthfully a little too early for more than half the kingdom.

Dark Cacao, dressed in his royal kimono, furred cloak over his shoulders and crown discarded for the moment, was of the only few actually awake, a candle on the chabudai he used as his desk, and a cushion beneath his legs where he sat on his knees.

The contents atop the low built table consisted of paperwork and documents, mostly diplomatic things involving other kingdoms, a small ink vial, and the quill in the nobleman's hand.

If you were to ask him, Cacao wouldn't be able to give you a reason as to why he was up so early, mindlessly filling out paperwork. No one was to be visiting him, especially at such an hour of the morning, so it's not like he was just passing the time with paperwork.

Or, at least, he thought no one was supposed to be visiting him.

Turns out his seafaring, not yet boyfriend, boyfriend had different, specifically unannounced, plans.

Cacao was startled from the calm of methodical scratching against paper by the sound of the door to his quarters being forced open, rather unceremoniously too, the screeching of the sliding door against it's frame greatly unpleasant to his ears.

Before Cacao could look up, a familiarly warm hearted, albeit shivering, voice range from the door.

"Cacao!" A snow covered, and slightly frostbitten, Captain Caviar shouted with delight as he barged into the room, tossing aside his coat onto the wooden flooring.

With a soft sigh and warm smile, Cacao rose from his cushion, clasping his hands together as he moved to meet the sailor halfway.

"Caviar." Cacao greeted with a nod, before he brushed some snow off of Caviar's fluffy hair, unable to help himself from toying with the soft dark curls for just a moment. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too!" Caviar grinned widely in return, his hands placed on his hips as he leaned into that small moment of a gentle hand in his hair.

In the back of his mind, Caviar wanted that moment to last a lot longer than just a few seconds, but, he wouldn't admit that. At least not aloud.

"…You're freezing, aren't you?" Cacao suddenly chimed, narrowing his dark purple-ish brown eyes, as he moved to remove his cloak, draping the warm, heavy duty, fabric over the barely covered sailor, gently bundling him up.

"Whaattt?? I'm fine! A little cold never bothered me!"

"You frequent tropical seas more than you do glacial seas, you are more often on a boat than you are on land, and it's six in the morning."

"…Y-Yeah- so what?-"

"Do you truly expect me to believe that you didn't spend half a day tripping and falling through the snow just trying to get here? I'm well aware sea legs don't mix with multiple feet of snow."

"…Okay fine- I might have fallen a few times-"

Caviar crossed his arms, puffing up his cheeks as he snuggled up in the furred cloak, to which Cacao couldn't help but chuckle warmly at the sight of.

Cacao, taking one of Caviar's hands in his own, his own scarred fingers grazing over the callouses of the sailor's, callouses that he found beautiful in their own way, built from years of hardwork protecting his home.

With a small, gentle kiss to the back of the sailor's hand, the nobleman looked up at him through dark, white speckled, eyelashes, and spoke with loving concern. "My dear captain, do I need to remind you that you can't be visiting my kingdom without weather appropriate wear? One of these days, you'll end up catching a cold."

Caviar however, face flushed with bright red blush, looked away from Cacao, covering his face with his free hand.

"Look, I've been trying alright- wearing such heavy clothing just ain't comfortable-" Caviar tried to argue, yet was met with a look that quite clearly said "and yet you're soaking up being in my cloak".

Without even a proper word from Cacao, Caviar continued. "This thing's an exception alright!" The sailor argued, the nobleman giving not but a small laugh at the sailor's attempts to defend himself.

"I suppose, perhaps, I'll have to have something tailored for you then, yes?" Cacao offered, as he turned over Caviar's hand to nuzzle the sailor's palm, gently kissing the rough skin.

"Y-yeah…" Caviar managed to mutter, a rare sight for the sailor to stutter but one that Cacao reveled in nonetheless. "W-whatever floats your boat-"

Suddenly, Caviar stiffened, his face scrunching up, before he sneezed, his body reacting violently, his entire body bouncing a little. Rubbing his nose with his fist, Caviar was quiet for a few moments, Cacao staring at him in surprise.

Before inevitably bursting into a fit of soft laughter, pulling the sailor closer to him. "I believe my point has been further proven." Cacao murmured through his laughter, pressing his face against the sailor's forehead, brushing away some of his fluffy hair to kiss his skin.

The sailor sniffled, rubbing his face with his arm as he grumbled a little, visibly irritated by the fact the cold had gotten to him this time.

"It was just a snee-" Caviar went to retort, but before he could finish, he was cut off by a small yelp as Cacao clasped his hand, tugging him along after him.

Both grew quiet as Caviar stumbled after Cacao, the sailor's expression softening to match the nobleman's. Caviar would have said he was surprised when he noticed they were headed towards Cacao's bedroom, but truthfully he wasn't.

Nestling into the nobleman's bed with him had become a routine for the sailor, especially when making visits like these. It wasn't like anything had happened yet anyways.

So, without complaint, Caviar carefully clipped off any accessories he had and set them on the nearby nightstand after Cacao released his hand, the nobleman going to make the bed and get some tissues for the sailor's nose.

It took a couple minutes, but eventually, Caviar got comfortable.

Wrapped up in Cacao's cloak, with blankets pulled up over his body, and a plush of the nobleman in his arms, Caviar couldn't help but smile softly.

It wasn't long after Caviar got settled that Cacao joined him, carefully climbing under the covers with him, snuggling up to him despite the possibility of getting sick as well…if Caviar was sick.

"…You're a goof ball." Caviar grumbled despite shamelessly resting his head on Cacao's chest, pressing his nose into the slightest bit of skin the kimono couldn't cover.

The nobleman smiled, bringing his hand up to twine his fingers through the curly locks of Caviar's hair. "But I'm your goof ball, aren't I?" Cacao retort, grinning lightly against the sailor's hair.

Caviar released a soft chuff, rolling his eye in a manner that said "shut up and just cuddle", and quiet Cacao did grow. Aside from the faint rumbles that resonated from his chest alongside his beating heart.

It was an ever snowy afternoon in the cliffside kingdom when Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip found their king fast asleep with the sailor they'd come to know as his unofficial lover.

Neither cookie said a word, simply smiled softly as they looked between themselves and the sight before them. Eventually, they left after making sure the two were tucked in properly.

A small plushie of a rice cake hound was the only thing left behind that implied the two were ever there.

[howlingday]

Mentor au) ya know when you look at it the entire cast is way stronger and better off than cannon but the two who won out the most are jaune and yang. Jaune gets adaptive learning from his dragon warrior training which allows him to infinitely grow his skills. Meanwhile yang learns absolute violence from the orkz fightiness letting her infinitely ramp up in her ability to inflict violence in new or more effective ways. Wonder how initiation goes now?

The air on the cliffside of the Emerald Forest was particularly cold this morning. Last night at Beacon was unsurprisingly eventful, when considering all of the new initiates showing up. Staring down at the metal plates under their feet, all of which was surrounded by a thick ring of salt, some couldn't help but be reminded of last night's bland "easy-meal" made in preparation for the vast collection of students arriving.

"Ugh..." Groaned the slightly bigger than average student at Beacon. "I could really go for some good food right now."

"Hey, think of it like this," Po said, rubbing Jaune's shoulders, "when we get done, we can have as much food as we want!" The thought made Jaune drool a bit from his goofy, smiling face.

"Ugh, how vulgar." Weiss sneered.

"Ignore him, Weiss." Alucard said, not looking anywhere beyond the horizon. "Your task lies ahead. Focus upon it and nothing else." Weiss did as she was instructed and focused on the horizon as well, running through her list of spells.

"This is gonna be so much fun, huh, Rein? Ren? Zaki?" Nora asked, practically bouncing on her feet.

"Patience, kleine." Reinhardt shushed, patting her armored backside. "There will be enough time for excitement later!"

"Mm." Ren nodded, hand on his longblade. Still, there was something off about Nora and Reinhardt right now.

"Something stinks." Zaraki growled from behind Ren. "And it's something to do with that salt, I bet."

"Are you nervous?" Kratos asked Pyrrha, who was breathing deeply.

"Should I not be?" She asked, opening her eyes to the forest ahead. She cut off her teacher before he could continue. "But I won't let it distract me." He nodded in reply.

"Oh, yeah~!" Yang smashed her huge gauntlets together with an even huger grin. "Time to get down there and show 'em what we're made of~!"

"You won't get the chance." Blake said, pulling her hood further over her head.

"Huh?" Ghazghkull rumbled. "Wass thah 'umie talkin' 'bout?"

"Don't expose yourself too soon, Blake." Ezio warned.

"Um, Professor, Headmaster, sir?" Ruby raised her hand. "What exactly is this initiation?" And though she didn't voice it, she was also concerned by the lack of her mentor standing beside her.

"We will be testing your survival skills in the Emerald Forest." Professor Ozpin answered. "Within this forest lies not only Grimm, but also a set of relics in the temple. You are to retrieve the relics and bring them to the rendezvous point as soon as possible. The exam ends once the sun has set. The purpose of this exam is also to determine who your partners will be until your graduation from Beacon. That is, if you survive."

"You cannot hear me, Little Rose," Death said, standing beside Ozpin, "But know that I wish you the best of luck."

"So, uh, will there be food on the flight there?" Jaune asked, instinctively rubbing his belly.

"There will be no flight." Metal suddenly ground as a student was sent into the air. "Not by bullhead, that is."

"Okay," Jaune gulped, "And, uh, is there some kind of device that will catch us before we fall?"

"No. You will be falling." More students shouted as more catapults launched.

"Uh-huh," Jaune felt a cold sweat run down his back, "and, uh, w-where exactly are our parachutes?"

"There are no parachutes. You will be coming up with your own landing strategy." All the catapults had launched except for Jaune's.

"There's a landing strategy?!" Po shouted in dismay. "What's a landing strategy?!"

"Uh, okay, okay. So, uh, sir, what exactly is a landing strate GEEEEEEEEE!"

"Best of luck to you," Ozpin smiled, "my new students."

[hopefulromances]

The Song Of Jamie Tartt - Colin Hughes x Jamie Tartt

Summary: Colin Hughes falls in love with the half-god Jamie Tartt.

Triggers: This is based on the Song of Achilles so there is canon typical violence, bloodshed, and character death. If any of these topics may trigger or upset you, please pass on this one.

Word Count: 7.1k

I am 14 when we meet. He can’t be older than 12 and already he is taller and stronger than most of boys my age. He has an easy charisma that draws all the boys to his side from the moment he steps in the door. His hair is longer than most. Not too long but enough that it spills into his eyes when he’s not careful, causing him to brush it back with his hand. He smiles easily while the rest of us struggle to keep up in our training and everything he is irritates me.

His cocky laugh that carried throughout the room, his toothy smile that took over his face when he watches them scramble over themselves to talk to him, the way his eyes light up when he hits the target right on the mark. Which happens all the time as he seems to be a natural at everything he does. Running, shooting, throwing. Things that took the rest of us months to master he seems to manage in a week or less.

It’s not long before his mother removes him from our standard practices to a more advanced study. Jamie’s mother, Georgia, is our host, of course. The kind and benevolent benefactor of all the boys. She clothed, fed, and housed us our whole time as boys. We rarely saw her though, instead, we were overseen by Rebecca, who made sure we kept to our studies, training, and eating regime.

Once Jamie is removed from our training courses, we see less of him. Mainly for meal times, where he spends his time entertaining and showing off to anyone who will watch him. I don’t watch him. I refuse to watch him throw dates in the air before catching them in his mouth. Up in the air, hanging just for a moment before falling into his lips for an easy swallow.

“Colin” he calls to me one day.

I barely have time to look up when he’s tossing a date in my direction. I flounder, reaching up to catch it in my hand. He smiles at me, nodding, clearly pleased that I was able to catch the date. I hate the way his approval sends a pang of electricity down my chest.

Those days, when we were young, the boys often spent time outside in the sun and the grass. Spending their time wrestling, climbing, and chasing. I didn’t want to do those sorts of things. When the sun was out and the wind was blowing, I prefer to sit under a tree and watch the waves hit the surf on the beach down the cliffside.

I’d turn and see him watching me. Pausing whatever game he and the boys were playing to look over my way, to check on me, it seemed. I didn’t know why he was drawn to me, the same reason I didn’t know why I could always feel the second his stormy eyes were trained on my head.

Whatever the reason, when I turned to look over at him, he never turned away as you might expect. Never flinched at the realization he’d been caught. He’d just smile. Not one of his large cocky smiles that he always seemed to wear. But a smaller, softer smile.

I am 15 when he comes to me after training one day. His mother sent him to question my lack of performance in recent months. How embarrassing is it that I’m being told off by my younger? I wave him off, some excuse of fatigue and lactic acid falling off my tongue.

He watches me carefully as I speak and he knows what I’m saying isn’t true. The truth was I wasn’t performing as well because I was not as good. Not as good as the other boys. Not as good as Jamie, and it was affecting me.

“You’ll join me tomorrow.”

He says it casually as if it was the next step in my journey to join him. I shook my head, insisting that it wasn’t necessary. That I would just need some time to recover from the months of strenuous training but he just shook his head.

When he said I’d join him, he really meant that I would come and watch him train. I didn’t mind so much, not having to train rigorously every day and watching Jamie was… something else entirely. He’d improved in the year since he’d left our training. If it were even possible, he moved swifter, more fluid in his spear-throwing and sword-wielding. His muscles flexed and moved in just the right way to make his body look like it was floating on air.

His personal trainer, Roy, was much less forgiving than the general trainer was. Roy kept him on a stricter regime. More training, fewer dates and it seemed to have results.

I found myself wondering, as I watched the two of them spar if Jamie ever missed being just a boy. Just someone who laughed and played in the sun. But watching him light up as he trained, it was easy to see that it wasn’t a chore for him. He savored every ache and pain that wracked his body when he trained, and searched for them. The same pain I’d been complaining back when he asked me to join him.

He began joining me at meals as well. Sitting with me while he ate his special meals, the rest of us surviving on the same lamb and dates that he had before starting his training with Roy. The other boys began flocking to my table, grasping for his attention but he barely looked at them. His attention remained mainly on me, asking me about my home and my family. Soon the other boys didn’t bother coming over to our table anymore.

So, I told him. I told him about growing up not far from here and my younger sister who lived back at home. I told him about my love of music and watching the stars at night. He always listened, his face kind as he did. The more he asked, the more I talked and the closer we got.

I realized, then, that he wasn’t at all that I’d thought of him. He was boyish and sweet, just another kid who wanted to spend time with his friends. He was eager to please and desperate to perform above the average. He told me of his dreams of being a legend for generations. Someone who was recognized for their skills and prowess. I told him that he would be, I could see it written in the stars.

I’m 16 when he asks me to join him in his room. He had his own room, seeing as his mother owned the property. His room was much larger with a porch and skylight accenting the room. I stand awkwardly in it, feeling unwelcome in such a refined space that differs from the crowded quarters the rest of the boys and I stayed in. But he called me over to his porch where he dug through a bin he had.

When I sat, he finally found what he was looking for. A wooden lyre, similar to one my sister played growing up. He comes and sits next to me.

“A lyre?”

“You said you liked music.”

I didn’t realize he remembered. In one of our first conversations I mentioned, off-handedly, that I used to like to listen to my sister play the lyre. The comforting sounds always relaxed me after a long day.

“I did”

He came over and laid down next to me, his head resting on my shoulder. I froze as he did unsure of how I should react to the touch. But he didn’t notice, or if he did, he didn’t react, he just began to strum the instrument. I looked down at him as he played, his fingers floating just like the rest of him. I don’t know if he’d picked it up when I mentioned it, but if I did, he’d learned very quickly, as always.

And as he played, I felt myself relax. It was a nice day. The sun warm on our skin, the wind keeping the heat from swelling, and the sound of the lyre filled the air around us. Soon he began to sing softly as well. His voice surprised me. It was soft and full of emotion. It was just a hum or a lullaby, but whatever it was he sang remarkably well. I felt, for a moment, annoyed that this was just another thing that Jamie was effortlessly good at but soon my irritation melted into appreciation. He shared this talent with me, just me, and all was right.

He invited me to stay in his room that night. He wanted me to show him the stars, tell him the stories they held. He laid very close to me, our heads almost touching. I pointed out the constellations I knew and the stories they held. Heracles and Orion. Achilles and Patroclus. The stories of love and tragedy that filled the skies. He asked me, then, why so many of them ended in tragedy.

“I suppose that the stories come from people who haven’t been happy, so they don’t know how happiness ends,” I told him.

“How does happiness end?”

I pondered his question for a minute. How did happiness end?

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I reckon it’s when you’re with the person who makes you feel safe, and you know you can never be parted again.”

“Do you think happiness ends in death?” Jamie asks, looking down at me. His nose brushes my head and I don’t dare look up to meet his eyes.

“I suppose it can.”

After that, I stay in his room more often and eventually end up sleeping there permanently. The other boys feel jealous but I don’t mind. Jamie is a puzzle I don’t mind solving. Day after day he reveals a new piece something else that makes him more full. A dazzling spectacle of colors and shapes that made up Jamie.

It’s not long after that I learn about his father. A god of deceit and mischief who required weekly meetings with Jamie. He was a hateful god, one of the lower ones, who, I learned, pushed Jamie to be more, be better, be the best. Jamie’s aspirations felt tainted when I learned that, but Jamie wanted them in spite of his father. He wanted to be good, and kind. He wanted to be a legend in the image of his love, not of his hate.

It made Jamie’s talent and abilities that much more impressive to me. His father was a spiteful thing, jealous of his son’s abilities, and Jamie was so kind and hopeful. Jamie made it his duty to be better to be happy. And I was happy being around him. Seeing him smile. Seeing him laugh. It was music to my ears to hear.

I am 17 when he comes home from a visit with his father. This time he seems particularly angry. When he came home from his visits, he was usually upset, angry, and frustrated. Something about not being enough. Strong enough, fast enough, smart enough. Whatever it was, he wasn’t enough. But today seemed particularly angry.

He came into the room, throwing a rock at the floor. It shocked me from the daze that I’d fallen into on his bed, forcing me to pay attention as he stalked into the room. He didn’t acknowledge me as he walked to the steps on his porch. I approached him cautiously, not wanting to send him running from me.

Instead, I came and sat behind him slightly.

“Are you alright, Jamie?”

“He talked about you.”

I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t aware that Jamie’s father even knew I existed. But he was talking to his father about me. And now his father was talking to him about me.

“Oh.” Was all I could say.

“Said I’m going soft. Says I’m… weak because of how I feel.”

I felt my forehead wrinkle. How he feels? How does he feel? I moved down to sit on the step next to him. He stared straight ahead, at the field that led down to the sea. Past the tree where I used to sit and he would stare.

“Jamie?”

Instead of turning towards me, he looked down at the floor. The dust settling as the wind died down and the world stood still in anticipation of Jamie’s response.

“How do you feel?” I asked him.

Jamie looked over at me, his eyes searching mine. Without meaning to, I surged forward and captured his lips in mine. He froze for just a moment before bringing a hand up to grasp at my chin, holding my head in his hand.

I’m 17 and I kiss Jamie under the orange light of the setting sun.

In looking back those are the times I like to remember. When Jamie would come to me for comfort after visiting his father, or the times when the rain prevented us from training, so we would sit on the porch and watch the wave of the wind over the fields.

I think he liked those times, too. As much as he loved to entertain and show off in front of the boys, he also liked when he could lay his head in my lap and be quiet. Watching the world spin by in front of us. I would run my hands through his hair, allowing him to just be still for a moment. I think he lked that.

As I fell, I felt myself wondering if Icarus. As my wings burned up with the desire from his sun, I had no choice but to let gravity take me as I plummeted ever quicker into his wicked soul.

I was 18 when the war began. Though we are all called to fight, Jamie is called to lead. He tells me I don’t have to come. That he could command me to stay behind and watch over the house while they’re all away. As if I could let him leave me now as if he’s not the light that leads me forward. But I told him the truth. I would follow him to the ends of the earth and the off of them if it meant we could stay together. That comforted Jamie.

He’s only 16. Very young and being asked to step up and not only fight in a war but lead it as well. I can tell it weighs on him, as much as he puts on a happy face. But I can read him and the smaller expressions that go by the common eye. I see the flicker of disdain and fear that lingers at the end of his sentences.

We had one last night together in Jamie’s room before we left. It was raining. As if the very sky wept for the innocence that had been Jamie’s life that was now gone. I held him in my arms as he lay against me on the steps of his porch, watching the soft pattering of drops on the grass in front of us. His grey eyes matched the stormy sky in color and feel.

“Jamie, you are allowed to be afraid,” I said to him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

He didn’t look up at me, just kept staring out at the field. “If I’m afraid, what does that make you?”

As well as I knew Jamie, he knew me even better. He was trying to be strong for me. Not for the war efforts or for himself, he wanted to be brave so I wasn’t afraid. I felt the tremble of the thunder roll through me as I held him tighter in my arms. Whatever happened in the years of the war, I knew, above all, that I needed to protect that boy inside Jamie. I needed to ensure that, at war's end, Jamie could still be the boy who came to my arms for comfort in a rain storm.

I remember the first time Jamie came home from a raid. They only sent the strongest out at first. Jamie, Isaac, Roy, and some of the other stronger men go and raid the nearby villages. When Jamie returned home, he was ragged and covered in blood that was not his own.

I reached for him but he flinched away, going off into the field behind our tent. He sat there, knees to his chest as he tried to steady his breathing. I followed him, approaching him cautiously so as to not alarm him. I sat down next to him, giving him space between us but still close enough that he knew I was there.

“I was very good,” he said finally. I nodded at him. I figured he would be, but he was so young. Too young to be expected to be good at this sort of thing. “My father was proud.”

He started shaking and I couldn’t leave him any longer. I took him in my arms, pulling him to my chest. He was half lying on me as he clutched my shirt, his tears staining the frock. But I didn’t care, I held him there, kissing his forehead for reassurance.

“We could leave,” I murmured to him. “We could run away, just the two of us. I’d keep you safe.”

Jamie managed a weak laugh as he looked up at me. He reached up and touched my face, the look in his eyes could only be described as longing. He leaned up the rest of the way and pressed his lips to mine.

When he kissed me, the world could burn, the winds could turn, the tide could change and I would stay there in the palm of his hand.

“Colin,” he muttered against my lips. “You know we can’t.”

I pulled away from him, disappointed. I knew in my soul that I would never be able to pull Jamie away from his fight. To protect the innocent, to fight alongside our brothers. But I wished for one second that Jamie could be selfish. But that’s not who he was.

The war went long. Much longer than we were all expecting. In the beginning, Jamie seemed to flourish under the pressure. He was thrown into the thick of it, rising above the scuffle and the flurry to really shine above the rest. He was a wonder to watch, quick and passionate in his defense of our city. I’d find myself stopping to watch him, inspiring as he was, as he flew across the battlefield.

But as the battle wore on, he became less forward about the whole affair. He still dominated the field and inspired his fellow men, but it was less frequent. We had our own setup, we called it the Dogtrack. We and many of the boys we grew up with had our tents set up together with a fire in the middle, somewhere we could decompress and have some semblance of home.

Those were the times I could ensure Jamie was taking care of himself. When we were out by the fire, Jamie would lead the boys in songs and dances, getting even the grumpiest of men to smile. But later, when I’d pull him back into our tent, I’d take him in my arms and let him relax. Sometimes he would cry, but sometimes he would just sit in silence and stare into the darkness. Those were the times that really scared me. Whatever he’d seen, or done, in the raid that day had rendered him speechless.

I am 25 and the war still wages. Jamie still leads his own group of men who stay by his side through all of it, but a new group joins our team. This group is led by Zava, an egotistical older man who was known throughout the land for his talent on the field. Jamie greets him as a brother but Zava meets him as a solider, immediately looking down on the younger boy.

That’s when things shifted in the camp. The home we’d created started to feel more divided as men flocked to Zava’s side to fight by him. Jamie tried to remain level-headed and keep to his own, continuing to perform at his normal high quality. But it seemed that this war was more for Zava, a place to make himself big and others small.

It started out slight. Zava starts competitions with Jamie to see who could kill more on the battlefield. Then it started becoming more aggressive, with Zava taunting Jamie in front of the men, in the midst of battle, goading him to go further, faster, taking on more than he could handle.

“Don’t let his childish insults get to you, Jamie,” I insisted as I wrapped his hands, chapped and cracking with wounds.

Jamie smoldered, his pride getting the better of him. “He’s not here to protect, or defend. He’s here to bloat his ego.”

I rubbed his hand as I finished my wrapping. He was right, of course, Zava was just here to prove his worth. He walked around the camp as he owned it, his posse following along behind him like his very steps were made of gold. I heard the rumors, the mumblings that he and Jamie were very similar. But I didn’t see it. Sure, Jamie was incredible on the field of battle but he also supported the people around him. He didn’t kill if he didn’t have to and he certainly didn’t make a competition out of it.

“You know who you are, Jamie, in here,” I pressed my hand to his chest. “Don’t let him take that away from you.”

He rested his hand over mine, the fire in his eyes fading as he looked at me. He softened finally, bringing my hand to his lips. He kissed my palm, then each of my knuckles. Then he pulled me into his chest, kissing me passionately. I brought my hand up to tangle my fingers in his walnut-colored tips. He laid down, pulling me down on top of him, his chest rumbling with a soft chuckle as we disappeared into the grass.

I felt confident that as long as I could ground Jamie at the end of each day I could maintain that innocence inside him. But I think that night was one of the last times I held on to that. The last time I held him tight in my arms insuring him that we would be okay. But, like sand in an hourglass, the tighter I held the faster he fell.

We woke up together, Jamie’s arm tightening around my waist before he stretched up. I was looking forward to a good morning before having to head to the battlefield for the day. But that thought was quickly interrupted when Isaac came running in through the front flap of the tent.

“Jamie,” he called. “Zava’s leaving.”

Jamie sat up out of the bed, going to meet Isaac. “What do you mean, leaving?”

“He’s taking his men and going. He said…” Isaac glanced towards me.

Jamie’s fists clenched. “What did he say?”

“He said he didn’t want to fight alongside a coward who spends his days getting fucked by his men.” Jamie’s fists turned white and he pushed past Isaac. I jumped out of the bed and raced to stop him, grabbing him by his shoulder but he shrugged me off.

“Jamie, don’t, let him go,” I insisted, pushing myself in front of him. “We don’t need him.”

Jamie looked over at me, his jaw clenched. “I’m the coward? He’s the one leaving when we need him the most.”

“You’re right, he is the coward,” I agreed, I grasped at his arms, begging him with my eyes. “Please don’t go to him.”

For a second, I thought he might. But then he was shoving me aside and leaving the tent. I cursed loudly, shooting a glare at Isaac as if it was somehow his fault. I raced out of the tent going to follow Jamie.

“Zava!” Jamie shouted once he’d made it to the center of camp. Zava emerged from his tent, smiling smugly as he saw Jamie.

“Ah! Jamie, nice of you to join us this morning,” Zava greeted, holding his arms out in a mock hug. “I thought you might have missed the opportunity to say goodbye.” Zava’s eyes looked over Jamie’s head, falling to me as I approached the area. “And Colin, what a pleasant surprise.”

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Jamie spat.

Zava frowned, sympathetic in look. “Oh, well, I simply meant you and Colin prefer your solitude with one another, rather than joining the rest of us on the battlefield.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Jamie retorted.

A crowd began to form around us, splitting the camp into sides as the men chose which man to back. I called over to Richard to go and find Ted, the leader of our encampment of men.

“I did not mean to offend,” Zava replied, his voice steady. “You are protecting your beloved from the horrors of tragedy, it is… admirable.

“I’m not protecting anyone from anything, Colin is perfectly capable of defending himself,” Jamie defended.

“Then let him prove it.”

I felt a ball of anxiety drop like a rock into my stomach. I was not in need of defending but whatever Zava had planned, I did not want to find out. Zava went on.

“Let him spar me. Let him prove his worth.”

Zava’s eyes were fixed on me. There was no way I could defeat Zava. I was good at fighting, but not that good. This fight was petty, and he knew it. Jamie stepped in front of me, taking Zava’s eyes off of me.

“You want a fight, Zava, You’ll get one, but not from him,” Jamie growled, his voice dangerously low.

That’s when, thank god, Ted arrived, getting in between the two men, and pushing them apart.

“Alright, that’s enough of that,” he intervened. “Zava, you and your men cannot go. You swore an oath and if you leave your life will be forfeit. Jamie, back down, you’re better than this.”

Jamie’s eyes were hot with anger as he stared at Zava. Zava looked far too calm and collected for a man who was close to getting into a fight with one of the best warriors in the world. Jamie remained unmoved, a statue under Zava’s gaze.

“Please, Ted, it was a jest,” Zava chuckled, looking over at Ted finally. “I would never leave when there is a war to be won.”

Ted clapped him on the shoulder. “I knew you wouldn’t now, why don’t you two gentlemen shake hands and makeup.”

“Yes, Jamie,” Zava drawled, sticking his hand out. “Let’s make up.”

I pleaded with Jamie in my mind, begging him to put aside his pride for two seconds and just shake his hand.

“I won’t,” Jamie snarled. “Zava has constantly insulted me and my men, and I won’t have it. I refuse to fight alongside him until he apologizes to me and to Colin.”

I felt the crowd look over at me. I wanted to disappear, I wanted this all to end.

“Come now, Jamie, be a man,” Zava goaded.

Jamie spat on the ground between them. “I won’t step foot on the field until Zava makes amends.”

And with that, Jamie whipped around and stormed off towards our tent. Ted rushed to follow him, begging him to see reason. I stayed frozen in my spot, reeling from what had just happened. Men came running up to me, begging me to talk to Jamie. We wouldn’t win without him, they said, we would be doomed.

I nodded vacantly, reassuring them that I would go talk to him. That I would convince him to return. But I knew that once Jamie’s pride was wounded, there wouldn’t be much I could do to convince him otherwise.

As I left the circle, I felt Zava’s eyes still watching me. If he knew what he had set in motion, I will never know. As I approached our tent, Ted walked out, hands in his pockets. He saw me approaching and gave me a smile.

“How are you doing, Colin?” he asked. I knew he was concerned. Not just about Jamie but about me as well. He was good at reading people's emotions, he always was.

“Uh… yeah, doing alright, I suppose,” I shrugged, rubbing the back of my neck. I paused then, worrying my bottom lip. “But you know there’s not much I can do.”

Ted nodded. “I know there’s not. But you’re going to try anyways, aren’t you?”

I glanced behind him into the tent. I could just make out Jamie’s silhouette looking out the back flap of the tent. I was just a man. I couldn’t convince Jamie to rest most of the time, much less go back on a promise he’d made out of anger.

“I’ll do my best, Ted,” I promised.

“That’s all we can ask.” He rested his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly before taking his leave.

I took a deep breath before entering the tent. Jamie was there, standing and staring at the field behind our tent. I stayed back from him, not wanting to crowd him right now.

“Jamie,” I mustered, softly.

“I know what you’re going to say, Colin,” he interrupted me before I could even try. “And I can’t do it. I can’t go back on what I said.” He turned around, finally, and faced me. His face was hard, no sign of wavering or uncertainty in his features. “He disrespected me, he disrespected you.”

He walked towards me. He reached out for me hesitantly and I let him drag his fingers up my arms before holding on to my shoulders. He rested his forehead against mine and for the first time all day I saw him break from his anger. His thumbs rubbed my skin as he took a shaky breath.

“I know, Jamie, I know,” I muttered, wrapping my arms around his waist. “But I have to ask you anyway.” I looked up at him, my hand reaching up to touch his face. “Jamie, you have to not do this. Please. Not for Zava, but for our friends, our family.”

Jamie sighed, leaning into my hand, and kissing my palm. I thought he might agree and this would all be over.

“I can’t.”

So, he didn’t. He rarely left the tent now, relying on me to get him food and news around the camp. Every day a crowd would gather outside the tent, waiting to see if he would come out but he never did. Every day, I would come home from the camp or from fighting and ask him:

“Please, come out.”

And every day Jamie would take my hand, kiss my face, hold me tight, and say:

“I can’t.”

It turned out that Zava wasn’t as good on his own. Things just got worse as the fighting continued and Jamie continued refusing to fight. People were dying, friends were dying, people we knew. It wore on Jamie, I could tell, but his pride was too strong.

I was out, getting food for Jamie and myself when Ted called me into his tent. I followed him into his tent where Roy and Isaac were waiting for us. I had never been inside Ted’s tent before, usually, only generals were allowed. It was a larger tent, even larger than Jamie and I’s and in the middle, there was a large table with a map and figures on it depicting the ongoing battle.

“Colin, we have a bit of a situation” Ted started, walking around to the far side of the table, leaning against it. “Every day Jamie stays out of the fight, we lose more men. To the battle, to mutiny, and Zava isn’t enough anymore. We’re getting down to our last reserves and they’re going to overpower us soon. We need Jamie.”

I looked over at Roy and Isaac for any support but they stared back at me with the same expression that Ted did, hope. They hoped that I could somehow convince Jamie to join the fight again.

“I think you should be talking to Zava, not me,” I replied, firmly.

The look they exchanged told me they had, and it had not been successful.

“Look, Zava is not the man that Jamie is. Jamie can see reason, and we aren’t sure that Zava can,” Ted explained.

“Jamie has given enough to this war as it is,” I defended, narrowing my eyes. “He’s just a boy, this whole thing cannot rest on him.”

Ted looked at me sympathetically. “But I’m afraid it does.”

I shook my head in disbelief. This group of men would rather force Jamie to fight a war he didn’t want rather than have Zava say a simple apology.

“Colin, listen, I don’t like this either,” Roy decided to chime in. “Jamie means a lot to both of us, but we both know what he is capable of. More than what Zava is.”

I knew he was right. And above that, I knew the impact he had on the people around him. His talent and charisma drew people to him, and inspired them.

“I’ll see what I can do but… Jamie is set in his way,” I told them.

Ted nodded. “I hear you but… we’re afraid if he doesn’t… that it’ll be the end of us.”

That was a lot of pressure. Not just on me but on Jamie. The conversation rolled around in my head as I walked back to our tent. I could feel the eyes of the army on me as I approached the tent, where Jamie was waiting inside.

“Took you long enough, I thought you lost your way,” Jamie greeted me with a grin, kissing my cheek and taking his food from me. I was silent as he made his way back to the bed, slumping down into it. “How was it out there today?”

I stayed silent, just looking at him, trying to figure out how to approach the conversation we were going to have.

“Jamie, we need you.”

He paused in his eating, his jaw slowing to a stop. “Colin.”

“I mean it, people are dying, our friends are dying,” I felt desperate. Desperate for him to listen so that this whole mess could be over.

“Colin.”

“Please, Jamie!”

Jamie sat up quickly, his face hardening. “Colin, stop. You know what I’m going to say.”

I felt breathless as my eyebrows knitted together. I walked over to him, kneeling between his legs, resting my hands on his knees.

“Jamie, please… for me…” I begged. “We are going to be overrun. We are all going to die.”

Jamie didn’t soften at my touch, he just shook his head. “Don’t ask me this. Don’t make this about us.”

“I have to. They told me, Ted-Roy! Roy told me. We need you, please!” Jamie’s lip quivered, and I saw his chest start to heave. “Jamie?”

He threw me off of him, pushing me to the floor as he stood up.

“Why does it have to be me?” He cried. “All I want is for Zava to apologize to me, to you!” I stood up, watching him intently. “I don’t want this anymore, Colin, I just want to go home.” My heart broke listening to him cry like this. It was so unlike him to break down like this. Then, like a lightbulb going off in his head, he turned towards me again. “Let’s do it.”

I shook my head. “Do what?”

He rushed to my side, taking my hands in his. “Leave. You said it once, we could run away.”

That was all I ever wanted, was to keep Jamie safe. To run away and never look back, just the two of us. If I could guarantee, right now, that if we left he would be safe, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. But I couldn’t. But Jamie wouldn’t bend either. I had to make a choice.

“Okay, Jamie… okay.”

His eyes lit up in a way I hadn’t seen since before the war. “Really?”

I nodded slowly. “Yes, tomorrow, while the rest of the men are on the battlefield. We’ll go.”

He wrapped me up in his arms, squeezing me so tightly. I hugged him back, closing my eyes, memorizing his scent, the way his biceps flexed as he held me. That night I couldn’t sleep. I just stared at Jamie and his delicate features. It was better this way. Better that he could sleep soundly tonight and not worry about what the future held. I held him tighter that night than I ever had before, relishing the way his body curled into mine.

I slipped out of bed before the sun rose. Putting on his armor was difficult, as he was much larger than I was, I had to readjust several times to make it fit my smaller frame. Then I just had to put on his helmet. I prayed to whatever gods were listening to make the show convincing to the rest of the world.

I stayed silent, as I walked over to the bed and gazed down at Jamie. I didn’t know what would happen when I left through the front flap today. I didn’t know if I would ever see him again. But what I did know was Jamie was going to be okay. I leaned down and kissed his temple softly, letting my lips linger before turning away and shoving his helmet on. I knew if I turned around now I might not go, so I left and I didn’t look back.

________

When Jamie woke up he was alone. He stretched out to find Colin but the bed was empty. The sun was just about at its peak outside the tent. Maybe Colin had gone to get food, or go for a walk, say some goodbyes. Jamie sat up and stretched up, hearing his back crack out the sleep from his bones. He glanced over at where his armor had stood for the past few weeks only to find it missing. Odd.

But then shouts came from outside the tent. Drums and trumpets in the camp sounded as a ruckas became louder and louder.

“JAMIE!” It sounded like Isaac’s voice coming from right outside the tent.

He sounded breathless like he’d been running. An electric bolt of fear shot through Jamie’s body.

“Jamie… It’s Colin.”

Jamie was out of his tent in an instant, looking around wildly for where the commotion was coming from. Isaac just pointed towards the center of camp and Jamie was sprinting that way.

“Move!” He shouted as he reached the crowd. “Get out of my way.”

A path was cleared as Jamie’s presence was made known and there in the middle of the circle was his worst fear. Laying, pale and lifeless on a stretcher was Colin, dressed in Jamie’s armor. Someone was wailing, a sad, striking tone and it took a second for Jamie to realize that he was the one wailing.

“NO!” Jamie fell to the ground, grabbing Colin’s limp body in his arms. “No, no, no, please.” He looked around, trying to find someone who could help. Ted, Roy, Isaac, anyone. “Someone, please.” Even as he begged, his voice was becoming desperate. In the crowd, he spotted Zava staring in disbelief near the back of the crowd. Jamie felt his confusion and shock turn into a blistering rage at that moment. “ZAVA!”

He shot up in an instant, reaching for the man but he was held back.

“This is your fault,” he roared, fighting the arms of whoever was holding him.

“Jamie,” It was Roy, grabbing him from behind, keeping his arms pinned to his side. “Jamie, not now.”

Jamie went lax in Roy’s arms, feeling the anger leave him just as fast as it came. He felt the tears coming now. And once they came, they didn’t stop.

Colin’s burial happened shortly after. Once they were able to tear Jamie away from his body, Ted had some of the men prep him for the fire. His ashes were put in an urn and given to Jamie where he placed them in the bed that he and Colin had slept in together just the night before.

“He was incredible.” Zava had a lot of guts to come to Jamie’s tent right now. “No one could tell it wasn’t you.”

“Get out.” Jamie’s voice was dark. His hands clenched refusing to turn to face Zava.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”

“I said…” Jamie’s hand found a goblet and turning he threw it towards Zava. “GET OUT.”

Zava dodged the goblet easily, before sighing and leaving. Jamie collapsed to the floor, falling into a heap of sobs. He felt half of a person. Like there was a part of his heart that had been ripped out and thrown away. Colin was his heart. Colin was his rock, the person who kept him stable through all of this, and now that he wasn’t here it was like trying to walk on 2 hours of sleep. It was like falling with no sign of impact to end it.

The next day, Jamie left his tent. He approached Ted and told him that he would fight. He would fight until the end of the war or death take him with death being the preferable option of the two. And with Jamie back in the fight, the opposition realized just how easy they had had it without him. Maybe it was the fuel of anger that his father had built into him, but Jamie moved with the swiftness of a man on a mission and each day that he survived, he seemed disheartened.

He didn’t leave his tent but to go to the battlefield, where he spent hours more than any other man. Each day a new foe would appear to confront Jamie, and each day the foe would fall with all too much ease. The people around him couldn’t find the words to help him. What do you say to someone who has nothing?

It was a sweltering day. The air felt thin and crisp as Jamie stood on the battlefield. He didn’t feel the blow when it came, from behind, of course. Just the look down at the wound opening up in his chest, and blood beginning to spill down his sides. Those looking onward recalled seeing him smile as he finally fell to the ground.

Jamie felt his eyes close and a darkness overtake him.

Then there was a face and a hand, and a home returning.

το τέλος

Tagging people I think would be interested: @alwritey-aphrodite @its-time-to-write @sokkigarden @whimsical-roasting @mr-ghost-face

[lasenbyphoenix]

Unshakable Faith (2023)

Episode 13 Breakdown

Truck driver Lai Guangrun hears the police kicking in doors and flees. They find the radio and his notebook left behind and search outside for him. Officer Hongmei finds a pen on the ground but is scuttled by a falling crate and the truck driver narrowly gets away, hiding in storm drain from the police team.

Ji Danyang and one of the technical experts inspect the speaker that was reversed into a microphone, and test it out with Police Captain Chen. During the test Ji Danyang jokes about Officer Hongmei being excellent at investigating but terrible at taking care of herself, knowing she will be listening on the other end. The police suspect the eavesdropper is likely Zhou Jun the painter, due to the style of the handwriting in the notebook.

Expert He Xiwan jokes with Ji Danyang about their nonsense speeches ruining the experts meeting, but thanks him for trusting her and Ji Danyang visits the construction site to meet Niu Peixian, the Master Welder, for help creating a vital submarine component.

Officer Hongmei found out that her bracelet was crushed for testing and Ji Danyang runs off after promising to replace it. Police Captain Chen is impressed when Officer Hongmei admits that getting a replacement bracelet means they will have found the rutile the experts need and she's just pushing him along.

Truck driver Lai Guangrun visits Dr Bai to treat his foot and congratulate him for retrieving the box from the well. Dr Bai says he just wants to live a simple life but is told that you can't erase your past, and is threatened to be exposed. Their conversation is cut short when Nurse Bai comes home and tells them that she will be going up Dongshan mountain again with Ji Danyang the following day.

The next morning Officer Hongmei swaps escort duty with Officer Ding. Dr Bai asks Nurse Bai to deliver some medicine across town before her outing which makes her late, and Ji Danyang and Officer Ding go ahead without her.

Dr Bai intercepts the truck driver Lai Guangrun on Dongshan mountain and refuses to rejoin the cause unless Snow Wolf meets him face to face, but is told he has to prove his trust before they can meet. Lai Guangrun indicates to kill Ji Danyang while he's up the mountain.

Nurse Bai's finishes her task and races up Dongshan to catch up with Ji Danyang, meeting a woodcutter along the way who tells her that her father is on the mountain too.

Ji Danyang spots a large deposit of rutile down a cliffside and Officer Ding climbs down a vine to investigate it, leaving him alone at the top where the truck driver knocks him unconscious. Dr Bai refuses to shoot him, settling to make it look like an accident by pushing him over the cliff when Lai Guangrun threatens Nurse Bai. Officer Ding climbs back up the vine to find only a patch of blood on the rock and Nurse Bai arrives at the mountain base to find Ji Danyang bleeding and unconscious, and flags down a passing truck to rush him to the hospital.

...........................................

It's good to see Officer Hongmei and our math man talking on better terms, even if Ji Danyang's guilt is getting the better of him. But he desperately needs some poker face lessons from Police Captain Chen, because our math man can't lie worth a damn.

I want to know how this truck driver with his fractured foot is able to jump out the freaking window and evade the police team. In fact, I want to know how he was able to slip in and out of Zhang A Shui's hospital room with a newly injured foot! At least his eavesdropping operation is overturned even if he wasn't caught, but fuck him for choosing to target our math man!

Another "Expert in Seduction" translation, this time from Officer Ding when they're talking about Nurse Bai. Ok I'm officially keeping a counter now -

Expert in Seduction: 4

A guilt trip, a hike and a fall down a cliff, our poor math man is straight up not having a good time, and there's still 25 episodes to go!

[luzxii]

DEXTER X OC ONESHOT :: Moloch and Meerkat confrontation, both die lmao

Meerkat huffed out after a gruesome attack, he was covered in scratches and bruises; a scar beginning to form itself across his left eyebrow. He looked forward, meeting eyes with the demon before him. Moloch, possessing the body of his lost love. Meerkat was in a state that was very rare for him. Rage. Utter disgust. All this time, his dear Dexter.. gone. He needed to defend his honor. To at least send off his last love, to allow him to perhaps have something close to rest.

He readied the holy water Father Gregor gave him, they were still on bad terms, but the had come to a.. Tolerance of each other. At least for now, this moment. As there was only this chance. He sprinted in a skating formation, Moloch charging. The two met, though before Moloch could lay his next attack; Meerkat drenched him in the holy water. The monster shrieked out in agony as it burnt into his skin, the demon ejecting itself from its vessel; leaving Dexter to collapse to the floor.

Meerkat ran to him, catching him as he fell. He knew Dexter was dead, his snapped neck; his cold skin.. But he just wanted to hold him for a moment. One more time. He gently squeezed Dexter’s hand, a tear falling from his face onto Dexter’s. Meerkat cracked a smile, at least he could see his beautiful green eyes one more time. Even if they were clouded over by a soulless mist.

Until a shimmer flickered inside of them.

Meerkat gasped as Dexter began to move, Dexter’s expression shifting from blank to in horror. “  ….. D–dolls…. k-kids… gg-gotta fucking KILL THE–” He golted upwards, almost headbutting Meerkat. They were interlocked with each other, Dexter’s uncertain daze almost disappearing for a moment. “ …. Meerkat? …. “ “ Dexter….” Meerkat’s voice softened, reaching out to caress his cheek. Dexter snapped his neck back into place, as if nothing had happened at all.

Dexter mumbled. “ I think I need to kill you.. “ 

Meerkat too a double take. “ W..What? “

“ I’m so desperate.... I haven’t killed anyone in years.. I haven’t had my body in years.. There's nobody else nearby.. Its just us. I’m so sorry but I think I need to kill you. “ Before Meerkat could respond, he noticed Moloch writhing in fury; preparing to leap right at them. “ Dexter. “ Moloch cornered them, the two all alone in a secluded cliffside. “ I don’t think either of us are going to make it out of this. “ Meerkat said in a calm tone.

“ If were going to die, I want to go by your side. Whether you kill me.. Or Moloch kills us both.. I want you to know.. “ Moloch began to hurdle himself towards them on all fours, roaring out in illegible noise. “ I love you- “

In an instant, Dexter hugged himself close to Meerkat, rolling off of the cliffside.

As they fell headfirst, they spun through the air; still locking bodies and hands. He didn’t want to die, Dexter didn’t either, but they both knew that there was no other way out. Either they die side by side or by Molochs cruel hands. And.. there was a lot he wanted to achieve in his life. He saw it flash before him. His childhood, his loves, his immoral mistakes. All something he can never take back.  “ I love you too, Meerkat. I’ll see you in hell, okay? “ But… at least he achieved his one true wish. To find love. To be himself and find love.

“ Okay. “

[phanfictioncatalogue]

In Progress Chaptered Fics (8) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: January 23rd, 2024

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven

In progress as of 09/10/2023

A Modern-Day Meet Cute (ao3) - auroraphilealis (peachrayne), peachrayne

Summary: Finding someone to date in the 21st century was hard. You’d think the internet would have helped things along, but Phil wasn’t completely sold on the idea of a dating app. Until he downloaded one and met Dan.

anywhere but here (ao3) - irrationalqueer

Summary: Dan’s a first year; he just appeared, one day, loud in one of Phil’s discussion groups. He has interesting things to say, talks like he has every right to be there. He’s also stupidly hot and funny and confident in a way that Phil definitely wasn’t at 19; how was Phil supposed to stop himself from instantly crushing on him?

Broke, Gay and New in Town (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan Howell was in dire need for a change - he hated his job and his life and he just felt stuck. His grandfather's letter was a blessing that came with an incredible gift: A farm. Dan had no idea how to run a farm but he was willing to give it a try.

He arrived in Stardew Valley with few expectations but even so, he could never have imagined he would encounter magic, otherworldly creatures, corporate conspiracies, so many queer villagers, a secret destiny and right at the centre of it all the love of his life.

Capeacetic (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Just a man, his lighthouse, and the ridiculous tourist he told not to come.

cleo (ao3) - bloodyscarab

Summary: i'm the ruler of the world,

better catch it all on camera.

phil wants to start drag, and dan wants a break from it.

cleo by shygirl

Et in Arcadia Ego (ao3) - fallentales

Summary: A man whose life is consumed by its own ending, and another desperately trying to escape the same descent. When haunted pasts collide with inevitable futures, what do they have left of themselves? And just how different really are the roles these two play?

Home for Christmas 2 (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan's leaving his newfound home away from home with the Lesters (and Phil) for the rude awakening of Christmas with his actual family.

i'm losing myself in you (and you, and you) (ao3) - sunflowerwitches (orphan_account)

Summary: the fic where dan is aspec and is scared of relationships because he isnt sure where he fits and phil doesn't understand why dan thinks anyone would be upset by that if it means they get to call dan their boyfriend.

Of wedding venues and cliffside views (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil brings a plus one to a family wedding - his fiancé

Poker Face (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: Dan and Phil meet in Vegas and have an incredibly intimate night together. Two years later, they're professional poker players who discover that they're both entered in the same major tournament. Dan, out of fear, has closed himself off to other people -- and refuses to let Phil into his mind or heart again.

Unfortunately for him, there's a very fine line between a poker face and a sexually-charged gaze, and he may not be able to resist.

"she's so in love with all the things i hate most about myself" (ao3) - pressedflowerspressedkisses

Summary: Daniel Howell falls in love with his best friend and tries to fix everything about himself.

Phil Lester falls in love with his best friend and wants him to see how beautiful he already is.

Sweeter Than Lollipops (ao3) - sweetheartphan

Summary: Dan’s father is tired of him always behaving like a child. He wants him to finally grow up. He wants Dan to get a job before heading to university in the fall to get a sense of the real world. Phil, a friend of his father’s, offers Dan to work for him as his assistant. As time goes on, Dan can’t help but cling to Phil. He provides him gentleness and comfort, while still holding authority. Like a daddy should.

take me to church (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Dan dresses up as a sexy nun for Halloween on the American leg of his tour. Phil is at home. But don’t worry, Dan tells him all about his evening.

The Clock Keeps Ticking (ao3) - tellsfromhale

Summary: Dan has spent over a decade growing comfortable with himself. Finally, he can live his truth, and he can do it with Phil at his side. For the first time, he's excited about what the future holds.

Then, one day, he finds himself suddenly back inside his childhood bedroom a decade in the past, and getting to that future with Phil becomes a lot more difficult.

tonight these emails will deliver you the words that i can't say (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: You've Got Mail!

Tops Only (ao3) - blissedoutphil

Summary: Dan’s favourite actor just opened a new bar right by the street near his apartment, and he couldn’t wait to check it out. One problem though, it was for Tops only, and Dan wasn’t one.

twin flames (ao3) - lovelylcster

Summary: A twin flame is an intense soul connection, sometimes called a "mirror soul," thought to be a person's other half. It's based on the idea that sometimes one soul gets split into two bodies. One of the main characteristics of a twin flame relationship is that it will be both challenging and healing.

Opposites Dan Howell and Phil Lester get paired up at random to complete a thorough English report about each other.

uncertain smile (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: He pats both hands around his head, fixing his overgrown quiff possessively. “It’s where I store my… my…”

“Flamboyance?” Farah deadpans, looking up at Phil with her cheek squished against Jackie’s knee.

“Secrets!” Phil shouts a little too loud, his voice carrying over the rooftops and rolling into high laughter as the girls absolutely lose it and Phil clamps his hands over his mouth.

What Dan and Phil Text Each Other (2022) (ao3) - BLUEGREYKIM

Summary: Dan's made a life here, in the house, with Phil. It's good, he reckons. They're good together, have formed a psychic connection over 13 years. He thinks it's pretty nice to have someone he can stare off into the sunset with and think, "Yeah, we're pretty weird."

(alternatively, the context behind dan and phil's 2022 texts)

[skyloftian-nutcase]

First Meetings (Hero’s Shadow backstory!)

The highlands were particularly chilly today as Link looked out into the dunes of Gerudo territory. It was strange how he could be so close to barren heat while also freezing his butt off.

Trilling his lips, the half-Sheikah warrior stretched lazily, gaze drifting from spot to the next. He had been transferred to guard duty along the Hyrulian-Gerudo border for his new assignment. It was his first time truly far from home, and it was honestly pretty thrilling. Link loved to see and learn new things, and the Gerudo Highlands were so vastly different from the lush, wet valleys and mountains of home. Kakariko Village was tucked away near Lake Hylia, and Link had spent most of his youth swimming and rushing to the large Cracked Mountain - legend said an earthquake had caused the large split along its center, and it held mystical treasures within its belly, but all Link had managed to do as a child was get stuck halfway through and give his elders a heart attack.

Either way, he loved exploring, and this place was all entirely new. The Highlands were visible from the capital on the Royal Plateau, but he’d never really known what to expect of any of it. Now that he was assigned here, he wanted nothing more than to explore every inch of the place.

But at the moment he was on duty, and so he stayed in his position.

It wasn’t as if the Gerudo were particularly hostile. They were not part of the kingdom and needed to be watched, and they were a warrior people, making them more threatening than others, but still… they hadn’t really caused problems for Hyrule, nor vice versa. There was definitely a wariness between the factions, though, and it created tension.

Movement caught Link’s eye, and he turned, wondering if maybe it was another lizard (he had already collected three), when he realized it was a person. Small, far in the distance, but someone nonetheless. Curious and a little wary, Link crept closer, hand slowly resting atop his katana, and then he got a closer look.

It was a Gerudo. A teenager, from the looks of it - maybe even around his age. She had twin scimitars, and she was practicing with them, slicing hydromelons with ease. Link watched her a little while, watched the way she moved so fluidly, the way her muscles rippled with each twist and turn, the way her hair reflected the sun far more than the sands did. He felt himself staring a little too long, his heart fluttering a little, and he stepped back, a little overwhelmed. The girl seemed to sense his scrutiny, stopping and looking around before glancing upward at him. Link swallowed, throat dry.

She—she was—she was beautiful.

Link heard a sandal on stone, and his adrenaline immediately spiked, every nerve on high alert, just in time to see a shadow cast over him. He looked up and saw a large figure seemingly falling out of the sky towards him, large mace in hand, and Link gasped a little, rolling out of the way as the weapon slammed into the earth.

Grabbing the hilt of his katana with his left hand, the thirteen-year-old immediately went into action. The initial removal from the scabbard was a wide slash, pushing the figure—a man who bore Gerudo traits (but weren’t all the Gerudo women? That’s what he’d heard)—back a little to avoid getting eviscerated. The sun shone behind the man, blinding Link a little, and he changed his position, breaking the kata in order to get a better view. It gave his opponent an opening, and he took a large step forward, swinging the mace horizontally. Link ducked, thankful for his small stature, and jabbed his blade directly forward. His enemy twisted to the side to dodge, and Link’s flank was wide open, giving the man an opportunity to do a one-handed swing with his weapon.

It hit true, slamming Link in the ribs.

The young warrior went flying, hitting the cliffside and falling to the ground, trying desperately to catch his breath. He heard the person walk towards him, and then heard under his breath, in a bemused tone, “A child?”

Link gasped life back into himself, ignoring how his ribs protested, and he sprang back to his feet, gripping his blade with both hands as he did another sweeping cut to drive his enemy back. He jerked a little at the end of the fluid motion, hissing in pain. His ribs were definitely broken.

Did he have a fairy? An elixir? He didn’t remember packing anything, but—

Link’s eyes widened as the man strode forward purposefully, both hands around the leather handle of the enormous mace, and he swept it right where Link’s head was. Clapping his hands together, the teenager channeled his magic, feeling the air sucked out of his lungs as he disappeared before the weapon could land a hit.

Ganondorf stared, blinking at the blank space where the child had just been. Despite being caught off guard by the Hylian’s age, he was still armed and he’d still been watching his daughter, which merited a swift response. The Gerudo king looked around a moment, confused, before hearing clothes fluttering. He turned around wildly, still seeing nothing, and then the sun reflected off something bright just above him, and he looked up and—

The child was about to stab him in the head.

Hissing, Ganondorf pushed hard with his right leg, jerking his body to the side just in time for the Hylian to slice his blade across his shoulder and part of his chest. Ganondorf bit back a yell, his blood pumping faster than it had in ages, and when he’d finished dodging, he’d almost had to laugh.

He didn’t know how this child was actually managing to put up a fight, but this was actually kind of invigorating. The boy had even landed a blow!

Ganondorf knew he’d won, though, based on how the boy struggled to breathe, so he paused before continuing the fight. “Who are you, child?”

The boy immediately hesitated, clearly caught off guard by his change in tone, and he stood hesitantly in a ready stance. “My name is Link.”

“Link,” Ganondorf repeated, humming and putting the mace on a strap on his back. The Hylian hesitated, red eyes curious and hopeful and far too trusting. In an instant, Ganondorf pulled out his spear, slamming the boy’s abdomen with the blunt end. The child gasped, falling to his back, and the fight was over. Ganondorf approached him slowly, watching his chest heave as he struggled to breathe. He pulled out a red potion, plopping it on the ground next to the boy, and dug the sharp end of his spear into the earth beside the child’s light blonde hair. “Don’t watch my daughter again.”

With that, the Gerudo king walked away, wondering what in the world Hyrule Kingdom was doing sending children to its borders anyway. But he had to admit… he was impressed by the boy’s fighting prowess.

Link grimaced, turning enough to grab the potion and chug it, wondering what in the world just happened.

Despite reporting the incident to his superiors, not much was really done. Apparently, there was concern that this was the actual King of the Gerudo himself, and no one would dare cause problems by claiming the king had attacked a lowly Hyrulian guard. Link wasn’t important enough to merit a war. He also felt immensely guilty he’d even managed to bring about any concern for one.

Sighing, the teenager resumed his post the next day, a little more wary and more than a little put out.

When he heard a foot scuff on stone, he immediately drew his blade, wondering what kind of insanity he was going to deal with now.

Instead, he saw the girl he recognized from yesterday, carrying a basket and looking apologetic.

“Hey,” she said softly, holding her hands up to appease him. “I don’t mean any harm.”

“This is the Hyrule border,” Link warned, not moving.

“Yeah. I know.” The teenager replied dully, as if it were obvious. Well… it was, but still. What else was he going to say?

“That means you can’t be here,” he explained, though there was less force in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah,” the girl replied dismissively. “Technically I can’t cross the line. That’s somewhere between you and me. I’m still in Gerudo territory.”

Link lowered his sword, growing confused. “Yeah, but… what do you want?”

“I wanted to say sorry,” the girl replied, lowering her arms and gripping the basket with both hands. “My dad is… overly protective. But… yeah. You want food?”

Link blinked. Blinked again. “Uh… sure?”

The girl smiled, trotting over and grabbing a stick. She traced a line in the dry earth, easily creating a division between them. “There. There’s the border. I won’t cross this line. But we can have a picnic in the meantime.”

Link stared at her, then at the line, then back at her. And then he giggled. “A picnic sounds nice.”

The two sat across from each other, the center of the basket placed directly over the line, and slowly they started to eat and chat. And if they stayed there for hours until the sun started to set, neither really commented on it.

And if they saw each other the next day for another picnic, neither complained.

And if a King and Queen of the Gerudo stood exasperatedly at the bottom of the cliff the tenth time it happened, neither of them noticed.

[toku-explained]

Sentika F8ABA6 Jisariz

This series of 15 minute episodes is the product of Inoue Masahiro's PINK no Tokusatsu project. As the episodes are freely available, and GINGANEN have even provided subs, I think it's fair to go over the whole series like this.

While things will gradually change, each episode sees schoolgirl Ayuka awaken in a new world after dying, Jisariz hunting her, while the enigmatic Radkeeper "observes". It seems like this has been going on for a while, a nightmare haunting Ayuka, but Jisariz has only now started talking to her.

We begin in what looks like a future cityscape, also in the OP, Jisariz discarding a letter notifying him of disciplinary action, before jumping worlds

Episode 1 takes place in a forest, Radkeeper watches a candle burn down. Ayuka's phone doesn't work. Jisariz stops her after she falls while running for him, giving her a knee injury, and reveals he's been able to predict where she will go due to her unconsciously always choosing to go left, he then catches her again when she deliberately goes right, as he predicted she would after hearing his advice. She winds up at a cabin near a cliffside, as night falls and the candle is near burnt out, Jisariz offers her a knife, telling her she can only return to her own world if he kills her or she kills him. When she doesn't take it, be pushed her from the cliff.

Episode 2 appears to be more of a funfair. Radkeeper watches a toy robot wind down. Ayuka's legs is still injured, and she is soon beset by soldiers, who hunt her down seeing she's human. She gets away thanks to a distraction from Jisariz and remembering his advice, but encounters a woman who also wants to kill her. Jisariz appears after a giant bear and the soldiers turn up, and uses her phone to initiate a Keitai Henka, placing the phone into the headset that appears. This seems to reveal Jisariz's form is an image projected on a black body, which then inverts into F8ABA6 Jisariz, which fights with a sickle and defeats all of them, revealing they are all toys bearing grudges against humans for discarding them, that's the purpose of this world. Ayuka picks up the bear before Jisariz informs her this isn't the world she is looking for, and shoots her dead with a toy gun.

Episode 3 sees Ayuka wake up in a bed, hearing a musical tone reminds her of singing with a precious friend, but she remembers nothing about them. When she instinctually sings, she is interrupted by a woman, who informs her telepathically that speaking is forbidden, introducing herself as Rinko. Rinko reads Ayuka's mind to learn of what's happened, when her roommate, Soutarou returns, they'll let her stay for a bit. They note the music has been playing a long time, but don't know why. There were lyrics, and Rinko recalls singing them with Araragi when they were children. Later at dinner, Araragi and a cohort knock on the door, ready to punish all of them from Ayuka talking when she awoke. They try to flee, but Ayuka yelps in pain and they're caught, Soutarou opts to hold them off, one keeps up. Ayuka then apologises for running into someone, drawing public ire, Rinko pushes her away so their pursuer chases her, as Ayuka is lead by a voice to a man in eccentric clothing like Jisariz, but his focal colour is blue. He is called Fobia, and also speaks freely, and helps her, as Jisariz has also arrived. Fobia explains that the ban on speaking was due to telepathy being freely available, and any hidden intentions could not be hidden by telepathy. However, Fobia wants to change this world, and wants her help to do so, casually mentioning if she doesn't return her world will be destroyed, then is interrupted by Jisariz arriving. Jisariz rejects the notion they were ever friends, and Fobia mentions both of them desire to possess Ayuka, and the two start clashing, and Ayuka is left watching in shock.

Episode 4, continuing on, sees Jisariz criticise Fobia wanting to change this world, Fobia arguing leading is part of the duty of the Sentika, and mocking Jisariz for losing the Revuke, but is then made to realise they've drawn attention from people shocked they're speaking outloud, Radkeeper is there with a helium balloon. Fobia leaves, and Jisariz advises Ayuka not to trust him, she doesn't have the will to kill him yet, but does have a request. Araragi and Tsurumaru captured Soutarou and Rinko, and are demanding explanations about Ayuka, fearing others will start speaking freely, as the two defiantly do so. Owing the pair, Ayuka requests Jisariz help free them, and they all flee together, people witnessing seem more envious of the fact they speak out than angry at doing so, Soutaro and Rinko call out they should do so. Jisariz sees Radkeeper's balloon is nearly down, Fobia now opting to challenge him while Jisariz is out of time. His own Keitai Henka sequence transforms him into the blue, gun wielding 0066C0 Fobia. Jisariz uses Ayuka's phone again, but Fobia thinks he shouldn't have been able to Keitai Henka, however his ranged fighting keeps Jisariz at bay. Jisariz encourages Ayuka to help the people break the shackles of silence by starting to sing the song. She is reluctant, but starts and Jisariz works to close the distance to Fobia, initially only Soutarou and Rinko sing, but by the time Araragi and Tsurumaru arrive the whole crowd has joined in the song, wishing for a new world, and by the end even they have accepted it, as Jisariz defeats Fobia, but he no longer has a need for Ayuka and lets Jisariz continue. Jisariz and Ayuka reunite, and an image appears in the air to Ayuka, a picture of F8ABA6 Jisariz's arm, he has her open the Revuke app and place it in one of 6 empty spaces on a flower pattern. Collecting these proofs of her accomplishments is what she should be doing. She thanks him for helping her and saving this world, and he stand her. Soutarou and Rinko briefly notice she's gone, but are distracted by further conversation. In a dark room, a group monitor worlds, lead by the man called Zeigen.

In episode 5, Ayuka awakens to find her vision basically non-existent, and is surrounded by masked people wondering if she's human. They're scared off, and she's helped up, by Marou Kaijin Gulf, alongside his brother Gallia. She's perturbed when Gallia let's slip they're all Kaijin, and Yabai Kamen and an entourage make comments that they may be disrupting the balance, then leaves after spotting Jisariz nearby. Jisariz is currently with Radkeeper, who wears a mask and had a spinning pinwheel. The brothers let Ayuka sleep, the first human they've seen, and Gulf thinks he can cure her eyesight with a herb mentioned in an old book as being in the Valley of Fear. Gallia wants to go, but Gulf warns the book's info could be outdated, among other things. Yabai Kamen plans to set a trap. Ayuka and the brothers have dinner, and Ayuka explains she has something to fulfill and then she'll leave, Gallia, saddened, runs off. Wishing he could be human too, Yabai Kamen corners him, and tells him there's only one thing he can do to keep her safe. Gallia agreed to do it.

Episode 6 opens with Ayuka having explained what's happened to Gulf, when Jisariz approaches, Gulf recognises him from the description and defends Ayuka, Gallia returns and drags her away, Yabai Kamen then double crosses him, intending to make her into an exhibit. Gallia tells Gulf what happened, and Jisariz, seeing time running out thanks to Radkeeper, sends them to the Valley of Fear. Jisariz arrives at Yabai Kamen's base and knocks out the others as Gulf and Gallia discuss their desire to live as their own people. With only Yabai Kamen left, Jisariz uses Keita Henka. Gulf and Gallia leap into the Valley of Fear to obtain the plant, but are left falling. Jisariz defeats Yabai Kamen, who resents him being a hero while Masked, then frees Ayuka. Gulf and Gallia return with the plant, and as Ayuka expressed concern for Gallia she makes the image of Jisariz's head appear. They apply the medicine and patch her up, but when she wakes up Jisariz tells her the brothers have gone, though they did make sure she woke up. Jisariz gives Ayuka medicine, which turns out to poison her, and when Gallia looks back, Ayuka is gone.

Episode 7 sees Ayuka awaken on the beach. She sits, noting she is weirdly getting used to this, but is still upset by what she has to do, and doesn't notice the man in green, Vanitas, notice her. In a palace, the man in yellow Degeal, is lord and is informed of a message from Gundial HQ about Jisariz, he will deal with it as necessary. Vanitas approaches Ayuka, who recognises the seal he wears from Jisariz, and he warns her to leave this world without interfering. She tells Jisariz about the encounter when she sees him, Radkeeper has a sprouting plant in a pot chained to him. No one in the village will talk aside from some comment about the weather, but she helps a girl find her mother, then collapses as they reunite, awakening back at the beach. Vanitas approaches angrily, while Jisariz appears, greeting his former mentor. The two fight, until Vanitas becomes offended and uses Keitai Henka to become 4DB56A Vanitas, using a large fist weapon. Ayuka has to get Jisariz her phone before he can change as well. Vanitas questions of Gundial have given him permission to Keitai Henka in other worlds, but he's just hacked the system. Vanitas declares himself, as an Iruk, a second human, superior, and despite Jisariz's efforts overpowers him, eventually landing a blow that shatters his body, which crumbles to dust. Ayuka witnesses her phone land, and the Gundial app delete itself. Radkeeper's plant has grown quite a bit.

Episode 8 sees Ayuka flee Vanitas, shocked at Jisariz' loss. In Gundial HQ, the leadership have no record of Jisariz's matter transferring, so he appears to be dead, troublesome for them, as they will likely need a century to identify a new candidate, but Zeigen seems to be ignoring them. Ayuka flees Vanitas, but finds everyone in the same places, including the girl, Vanitas stops her helping the girl, and catches her at the house, throttling her. Radkeeper's flower is blooming. She awakens again at the beach, as Radkeeper's flower is wilting, Vanitas tells her this world always repeats the same day, her involving herself is just a nuisance. Ayuka begs for help, and the left leg image appears and flies towards her phone, where Jisariz takes both. Apparently he forcefully split himself, something forbidden and dangerous, and declares only he can kill Ayuka, which she finds weirdly comforting. Jisariz and Vanitas fight again, but the senior Sentika declares he knows all his opponent can do, but Jisariz has a new trick, pulling a laser sword out of the hilt of his scythe, and impaling his mentor. Jisariz asks his mentor why he doesn't change this world, but he can't with his family there. The flower is nearly dead, as Jisariz tells Ayuka that the next day, Vanitas' daughter lost her life to the sea, and he wasn't there because of his duties, the world as it is one of his regrets. When she expresses relief he is safe, he mocks her, and she slaps him, saying she doesn't care about anything anymore. He punches her, saying she has no choice, before choking her with one hand, once she's dead he apologises for her fate. After the two are gone, Radkeeper walks the beach to where their footprints vanished, and looks to the town, where Vanitas' daughter is still stood, and smiles pensively, before moving on.

Episode 9 opens on an old schoolhouse, Jisariz sitting at a desk contemplating recent events and questioning aloud to Radkeeper, holding a puzzle with only one piece, is he's wrong, and getting no response, leaves, only to encounter himself, who says he is, indeed, wrong. Ayuka awakens outside the school, questioning of she's trapped doing this, and is confronted by her own double. Ayuka's double torments her by voicing her fears and worries, leaving her terrified, Jisariz' is less successful, as the original continues to deny it's words, before saying he knows it isn't him, because even he isn't himself. Ayuka's double manages to trigger fragments of memories, of a family dinner, school with a friend, holding the completed Jisariz emblem in class, her friend asking about it, and reaching out in desperation towards someone. The double questions if she can't remember more, or refuses to, telling her she has a responsibility to, before Fobia suddenly arrives, warning not to listen to her, and scaring the double off, and expressing concern if he doesn't find Jisariz soon. Jisariz expresses that Jisariz is him, nothing else matters, the double laughs, and initiates a Keitai Henka, burning away into F8ABA6 Jisariz, and fighting the other, as the skies darken, and a storm breaks out.

Jisariz' double beats him, mocking him for changing. Fobia helps Ayuka, and they witness the fight. Ayuka is confused, but Fobia points out that as Ayuka has her smartphone, they know which is their ally. As the double gets really angry, Fobia blasts if, scaring it off, but Jisariz is annoyed by the interference. Time passes in near silence, only 4 pieces missing from Radkeeper's puzzle. Fobia explains to Ayuka this is a world without anyone, but where your double manifests to voice hidden thoughts and doubts. Fobia explains to Jisariz that after they caused the changes to the world he managed, he was summoned by HQ and ordered to chase Jisariz, licensed to Keitai Henka in other worlds, but chose on his own to help him, and asks if he's after guidance or resolve, when the double of Jisariz appears. Jisariz demands Fobia not interfere and starts fighting, Fobia in turn stops Ayuka giving her phone until Jisariz asks for it. As the double goes to deliver a killing blow, Jisariz dodges and pulls the hidden blade out the scythe, stabbing the double. After it's dead he declares he is Jisariz, but he's crying. The torso image appears to Ayuka, only 2 left, Fobia tosses the phone to Jisariz. Ayuka wonders if Jisariz has no choice to continue, but she has been stabbed by the thrown blade before she notices. Jisariz orders Fobia not to follow him. Ayuka appears in the court of Degeal, and on awakening is welcomed to his world.

Given they are now in the world of desire, Fobia hopes that for once Jisariz won't act, only to see him making his way in the direction of the castle. His quarry takes a look from the opulence of the castle to see the squalor others live in, then announces himself. Degeal has most of his entourage leave, Ragos standing by, as he realises from questioning her that Jisariz hasn't explained the rules to her. He explains his world is one without any desire, and what she and Jisariz have been doing by disrupting each world's rules is dangerous, and summons his sword, aiming to execute her. Ragos actually tries to stop this, but Fobia stops him, promising to get her away and stop Jisariz acting, her own world is in danger after all. Degeal shows Ayuka the destruction taking place in her world, devastation she caused, and which she must act to undo by gathering the pieces. Ayuka still can't remember. Jisariz arrives, promising to just leave, but Degeal doesn't want disruption to other worlds either, and swings, neither Jisariz nor Fobia can stop him, but Ragos takes the blow, to his sister's horror. Jisariz admonishes, Degeal, who he used to respect, for the way he has ruled over this world, and swears to crush it. Degeal becomes FFD063 Degeal, his black body not inverting, but producing the armour from within, and Jisariz takes his own Sentika form. Ayuka starts remembering more, specifically something more with the full image, and calling out for Shiori. Degeal has Jisariz at his mercy, ignoring shots from Fobia, and swings down, when Ayuka calls for Jisariz, who glows pink, a symbol appears on her eyes, as Jisariz transforms into a more mechanical, armoured form.

Gundial HQ are trying to work out who gave the authority for Jisariz to power up, but Zeigen is just amused. Jisariz' new abilities allow him to overpower Degeal completely, who acknowledges his loss, at which point the power up vanishes in an instant and Ayuka collapses. Jisariz' apologises for Ragos. Ayuka obtains the left arm, one piece remains, and they prepare to leave to settle things to save their world. Phobia believes he has no business assisting with the last one and leaves.

They arrive at Ayuka's world. Jisariz informs her that when Radkeeper's candle goes out, the world will be destroyed, and the seal is the emotions making up this world, the emotions she has gathered, happiness, friendship, anger, shock and love, and still to collect is sorrow. This forces Ayuka to remember how she tried to encourage Shiori to be more involved with others, only for her to then catch her about to jump from the school roof, she leapt, and in that moment the seal broke and the pieces vanished, as did Ayuka. Producing his sword, Jisariz tells her to kill him, reminding her he told her at the start either he kills her or she kills him, she begs him to just kill her so they can go to another world, she cannot do it, there must be another way. It takes a lot of encouragement, and the candle is almost burnt down, but she does it, the seal is completed, the world saved, and Ayuka is able to stop Shiori jumping. While walking with Shiori Ayuka bumps into Jisariz who she doesn't remember, but apologises and takes her phone back, once they're gone, Jisariz collapses against a post, still pained at least, and asks Radkeeper what's so amusing, before leaving, only to start having his body fall apart, seeing the image of his Sentika form, Ayuka looking back for a moment after he vanishes. A new Sentika is now in this world, and she says Jisariz will witness hell. At Gundial, Zeigen waits.

[fallouttalesfromthewastes]

Prologue: Hide & Don’t Seek

The day of October 23rd, 2077 had begun like any other Saturday for Zyn on a day he was going to play with his friends. His mother woke him up from his slumber with promises of a warm breakfast, he slipped into his khaki shorts and summer short sleeve button up shirt, and they were off in the car to this weekend’s meeting spot. His mom, and his friend’s moms brought them to a local park or recreation area every weekend. She said it was to get all of their energy out for a quiet Sunday.

This weekend they were all heading up to the hill where they had built the big shiny Vault he had learned about in school, and ever since had begged his mother to take him.

“It’s nothing but a heavy metal door in the cliffside honey…” She used to say trying to convince him otherwise. But that wasn’t going to stop Zyn from dreaming about what they had locked on the other side! Zyn stared out the window, dreaming of what may lie behind the great metal door…

They arrived quicker than he imagined and unbuckled himself from the car seat almost as soon as the car had stopped. “Hey mister!” His mom glared and started at him. “What’s the rules on adventures?” She quizzed.

He stopped before he could open the door. “1.) Stick together, safety in numbers, 2.) don’t stray too far from homebase, and 3.) smart thinking!” He repeated knowing the three-step mantra his mother had set out for them. He hopped out of the car before she could even acknowledge he was right and made a B-line for his friends already waiting for him. He didn’t know it, but his mother gave him a lot of freedom for a six year old but she knew he had a good head on his shoulders.

_____________________________________________________

They played for hours; Marie, Damien, and Zyn exploring the hillside where people came from miles and miles around to see the gleam of the Vault 76 door towards the top of the hill. They were having so much fun playing hide and seek, tag, and other games Zyn almost forgot about the Vault door he was so excited to see.

They sat on a picnic table down the hill from the Vault catching their breath and watched as it seemed to get busier around the area. Military vehicles began to pull up to the parking lot below the Vault and as soldiers loaded out they all saw the most amazing thing. “POWER ARMOR!!” They all gasped in excitement. “WOAH…” Zyn said under his breath. More cars, fancy cars rolled in after them with logos from the Vault-Tec University up north in the city. Zyn recognized it and spoke up.

“I know those! Those are from the university up in Morgan’s Town!” He said proud of his knowledge.

“You idiot, it’s MORGANTOWN, not Morgan’s Town.” Marie corrected him. Zyn was smart but Marie was way smarter. She’d go to the university for sure Zyn thought.

Almost as suddenly as it all started, more and more cars piled in, but the soldiers didn’t let them all through. People were getting mad, really mad, when they wouldn’t let them through. “What’s going on?” Marie asked. 

“I don’t know…” Zyn replied as confused as she was.

“Let’s go check it out!” Damien said, hopping off the table. He was always the most adventurous and brave of the bunch.

Zyn and his friends snuck around to the fence where hoards of people were piling up and arguing with the soldiers. It seemed like they wanted to get to the Vault. The soldiers in Power Armor had to step in. The crowd swelled, pushed, and pulled like a tide was washing against the military barricade and soon Zyn, Marie, and Damien were pulled in by its undertow.

“Ahhhhhhh! Help me!!” Marie yelled as the adults around her enveloped her in their masses.

Before either friend could do anything, the same happened to them. Zyn began to panic as countless sweaty and violet appendages beat on him from all angles. He couldn’t get free from the mass of people and they were hurting him. He took an elbow to the eye, making him fall to the ground. Feet began to kick into him and step on him from everywhere as he curled into a ball to protect himself the best he could. “AHHHHHHH! STOOOOPPP!!!” He cried helplessly on the ground.

As he continued to take a beating of stomps, kicks, and other abuses he felt a hand grab his and begin to pull. Once the hand pulled him a few feet, it yanked him to his knees and offered a quick command. 

“Come on, let’s go!” Said an unfamiliar young woman's voice. 

Zyn was too beaten and bruised to not follow, and before he knew it he was following behind a young lady and her mother who took him past the tide of people, past the security, and trailed a group of armed Vault-Tec employees. His head hurt, the light bothered his eyes, and he wanted his Mom but he didn’t know what to do about any of them besides continue to cry. As they began to walk up stairs, leading to who knows where, Zyn heard a loud siren begin and an awfully loud creaking noise. He also heard the crowd he was pulled from swell in angry noises as well. He continued on being pulled by the unknown girl.

As they climbed more stairs Zyn had hoped, even prayed in a sense, that the young lady and her mother would be delivering him to his own mother. He realized next that wasn’t the case. They continued on and as Zyn squinted his eyes to protect himself from the harsh sunlight and peered through the waterfall of tears running out of his eyes, he realized they were at and soon passed the Vault 76 door.

He panicked, unsure of what to do, and the results were more tears and quiet sobs. He now realized how much the crying was causing him pain in his chest area. Everything was happening so fast! He didn’t know what to do. What happened to Marie & Damien, where was his Mom, why did a new alarm sound start, and why did the awful screeching sound begin again.

The door to Vault 76 rolled along its toothy track and settled into place. It fit snugly into its place as designed, let out a steamy hiss, and sealed for the next twenty-five years.

[wintersandthebeast]

35. Where I Wanted To Go

RE8 | Wintersberg | Romance, Slow Burn | Action, Sci-Fi

Link to Master List

TWO MONTHS EARLIER

Ethan was unsure why he was sitting on the cliffside, near one of the closed trails at the ski lodge.  He was looking down into the quarry-turned-venue that the ski resort used during the summer; it was a large amphitheater carved out of the granite, complete with covered seating and a backdrop of the Rocky Mountains.  He had tickets for the show, but was waiting here.  Why was he waiting here? 

The sun had already mostly set, and now the chill of a high-elevation summer night was setting in.  Ethan swung his legs over the rocks, wondering if he should go find his friends.  Maybe they were saving him a seat.  The band was playing already.  The sound reverberated all together and mixed into mostly noise at this altitude.  Then he heard footsteps over the strange, otherworldly echoes from below and looked over his shoulder with slight confusion.  The trail was supposed to be closed.  But then why was Ethan here?

And then it made more sense.  Karl was approaching, hands in his pockets, the auburn in his hair catching the last rays of sunlight from beyond the west mountains.  Ethan’s confusion melted into a smile and he hastily stood.  Before he moved toward the other, he checked: “I told you to meet me here, didn’t I?”

“Sure did.”  They had been doing this for some time, and now the taller man moved into the embrace of the other.  Karl was warmer than any Colorado summer day, and Ethan buried his face in the man’s neck.  With a sigh, the blond asked, “Why can’t I remember that?”

“Wish I knew, Winters.”  Karl hugged him tightly.

Ethan felt the familiar accompanying sadness that he seemed to feel often lately.   Why did it feel like something was wrong?  Or off.  Odd.  Hadn’t he been here before?  Ethan recalled angrily walking away from someone on the trail earlier, leaving the concert.  A woman with dark hair.  They had been fighting.  That’s why he was here.  

…..Who?

Karl’s chuckle drew him back to this moment, and Ethan’s attempt at a scowl was betrayed by his reluctant smile.  Now Karl was looking at him with those piercing green eyes, an almost sad, knowing look across his expression.

“You don’t remember why you asked me to come, do you?” Karl guessed correctly.  Ethan shook his head, his lips pursing together in something between frustration and sadness.  When he spoke, his voice cracked.  

“Am I losing my mind?”

“Nah,” said Karl dismissively, and then he thumbed toward one of the trail’s small winter shelters.  They were built into the hills, windowless, and usually made out of storage containers, full of emergency supplies and basic furniture.  In summer, they were usually locked.  “You probably wanted me to break into that thing for you.”

The brunette turned and began inspecting the door, while Ethan looked over the nearby cliffside, down toward the venue.  The lights were turning on as the sunlight faded, the cheers from the crowd as well as the echoing music still creating a dreamlike buzz in his ears.  He’d been down there earlier.  He had been with….someone.  

“I think I am losing my mind,” Ethan said contemplatively.  “I can’t…remember things.  Things don’t seem right.” 

“Don’t worry,” Karl said with a quiet sort of confidence, as Ethan heard the sound of pins falling from the hinges of the door.  “It’ll work itself out.”

“How?”

“I’m not sure,” the other admitted, and now he was holding the shelter door.  He moved it aside almost comically, and gestured extravagantly toward the inside. “Ta-daaa.” 

Ethan, despite being a rule follower far more often than he was a rule breaker, stared at the open doorway.  “No way, how’d you do that? Those things are like bolted shut.”  

Karl simply chuckled again as he ducked into the shelter.  He flipped a switch, but then the switch was flipped again when Ethan entered, plunging them both into darkness as the blond nearly tackled the other, pulling him into a kiss and utilizing the cramped space to steer them both toward the cold metal wall.  Karl’s laugh turned into a muffled sigh and he returned the affection.  Soon his rough hands were combing through Ethan’s hair, his tongue seeking even more of the other man’s mouth.  

Though Ethan had moved Karl up against the wall, the other now used superior strength to push away, nearly manhandling Ethan as his legs found one of the cushioned patio chairs; he sank into it and pulled the other into his lap without even breaking the kiss.  

Ethan did, staring in something like shock at the other.  Karl’s eyes caught some of the grey light that filtered in through the open doorway, and they were intense.  It was almost as if Ethan remembered him from somewhere.  Best not to think about memories….it wasn’t his strong suit right now.  

Ethan’s eyes were still wide when he said, “I’m still so surprised that you’re….this…into…this.  Us.”

“You,” Karl corrected, his dark skinned fingers tracing up Ethan’s bicep.  

Ethan licked his lips.  “You’re always just so…I don’t know.  You seem like somebody who has a lot of self control.”

Karl seemed to think on this and he settled back into the chair.  Ethan leaned forward, beginning to pepper kisses around the other’s neck and jaw.  “I guess I practice it a little more here,” Karl admitted, “Doesn’t always work when I’m not…here.”

“What do you mean?” Ethan said, an eyebrow raised sarcastically as he put his arms around Karl’s shoulders.  “Are you normally just lost in the throes of passion or something?”

“Somethin’,” Karl agreed, slipping his hands up Ethan’s shirt, making the blond shiver at how warm his touch was.  

“What, are you a werewolf?”

Ethan was smiling, but the question seemed to strike a chord with Heisenberg; his face changed at once, an almost sullen look crossing it.  Ethan was taken aback but the moment was over, and Karl simply looked sad or thoughtful.  

“I’m sorry,” Ethan said quickly.  He had no idea why the joke was taken so poorly, wondered if he’d put his foot in his mouth with mental disorders or something else he was uninformed on, but Karl shook his head.  

“Don’t apologize,” the brunette insisted.  He had somehow already removed Ethan’s belt, and now with one hand he massaged the bulge in Ethan’s pants.  The blond’s guilt was forgotten as he groaned at the touch, once more hiding his face in Karl’s neck.  After a moment in which his breath became more ragged, he said to Karl’s neck, “Tell me what you mean, I want to know more about you.” 

“Well” Karl responded, pulling Ethan’s chin up with the hand not on Ethan’s crotch.  “I don’t know how to describe it.  Mind….doesn’t work sometimes.  You could say it’s because of head trauma.”  For some reason his own joke made Karl chuckle heartily, despite the worried look on Ethan’s face.  It took a minute of Ethan’s concerned stare for the man to cease laughing.  

“But, I’m fine here an’ now,” Karl continued, finally slipping his hand past Ethan’s waistband.  He tugged at the denim and Ethan rose slightly, allowing the fabric of his pants and underwear to tangle around his thighs.  Karl now had full access, and he trailed his fingers across Ethan’s stomach, teasing another groan out of Ethan. 

“An’ I prefer to take my time while I can.” 

While I can. 

It sounded so ominous.  Ethan tried to focus on a suitable reply but his breath stuck in his throat again as Heisenberg finally wrapped his hand around Ethan’s cock, his thumb stroking the underside of the slit where the other man was already dribbling.  Ethan dug fingers of one hand into the chair, and then into Karl’s shoulders, biting his palm on the other hand.

Karl, true to his word, began stroking the other slowly.  Taking his time.  With his free hand, he dug into Ethan’s pale hip and then moved, grabbing handfuls as he went, of the other’s ass and thighs.  His head pressed to Ethan’s chest and neck for soft, warm kisses, before he pulled back to watch his partner writhing.  

Interesting body.  

The thought entered Ethan’s head like a lightning bolt.  In Karl’s voice.  But Karl had said nothing, his own breathing low and even, as if this act was as relaxing as sunbathing. Again Ethan found he could hardly focus on anything but the present moment.  He found Karl’s pace and began moving his hips in unison with Heisenberg’s thrusts.  After another breathtaking, tongue-filled kiss, he whispered into the ear hidden by long wavy strands, “Do you want--”

“This is what I want,” the other’s deep voice was so low it sounded like a vibration from somewhere in the earth.  “You.  Like this.”

Ethan would have protested if he could think of words.  He wanted to return the favor, to please the other, so they would be able to experience pleasure together.  But he also found the way Karl stared so openly at him, watching him lose control, one of the hottest things ever.  Instead of a reply, Ethan simply smiled bashfully and tossed his head back, accepting the other’s answer as an invitation to enjoy himself, and show off while doing it.  

-------

Ethan opened his eyes and thought about the memory a bit longer.  He’d awoken to the sound of a full kitchen--raucous laughter, spirited conversations in a language he didn’t understand-- and empty bedroom; Rose and Karl had apparently left him to start their day already.  Which made sense, as it was sunny and bright, with early afternoon rays shining their way through his windows. 

Ethan was contemplative on several fronts as he dressed, and then threaded through the group setting up for lunch in the kitchen and parlor.  Rose was in her high chair, food already smeared on her face while she babbled.  After giving the toddler a kiss on her red curls, the father exited the manor and crossed the large front area, heading toward the familiar figure in his hat and coat.  

Karl was facing toward the once-village-now-valley, and cigar smoke trailed away from his face.  He glanced over behind his round glasses as Ethan stood beside him, also surveying the early spring scene.  Ethan now looked in the same direction as Karl. A winding road, now more visible since the factory was rubble, had a lone wagon on it; they could see him even half a mile away.  The Duke was en route.  

“Eveline could control others…..experiences? lives, in the Mold,” Ethan began without any pretense.  Karl’s skeptical look was mostly hidden, between the glasses and cigar.   “The Bakers, but I heard others, too.  Anyone she’d infected who had died, she told me she got their power.  I guess she could just go into where they were too.  Like…invading someone’s dreams.”

Karl smoked in silence, listening as Ethan thought aloud.  

“I know Miranda removed my memories of Rose, so I wouldn’t find a way to regenerate and….” and do exactly what he was going to fucking do, he thought angrily to himself.  End her, even in the consciousness of the Mold.  “She couldn’t do the same to you?”

“Cadou makes…” hand gesture, “...most connection to the Mold pretty tricky.  It removes you from the network in some ways.  Isolates.  It can add a lot of traits, some bad…well, most bad.  Some better.  But not good enough for a vessel that needs connectin’ to the megamycete.  That bitch,” Karl pretty much only ever called her that anymore--it warmed Ethan’s heart, “moved away from cadou years ago for that reason.  I’m an old fashioned model,” Karl said with a snort laugh.  “Eveline was one of her newer ideas.  Mold bein’, not mold infected.” 

Ethan nodded, excited with the implications.  Mostly he was relieved that his nightmare of Heisenberg morphing into Miranda seemed less likely to ever become real, if the cadou made Karl less connected to her, and not more.  It also surprised him that he felt relieved that he and Rose were mold beings, and not infected with some parasite.  

“But you said that you were in your own type of space, right?  Along with the other Lords.  Like you were all in your own dreams or something.  You just crossed into mine.” 

Karl nodded, finally giving up on the cigar and tossing it on the ground.  He crossed his arms.  “Yeah.”

“What was your place like?”

Karl actually chuckled at this, and when Ethan met his eyes with a frown, Heisenberg chided, “You tryin’ to get rid of me or somethin’?  Tellin’ me to go back?”

“You could have done anything you wanted,” Ethan said, hearing the wind stir in the trees nearby.  It moved the bottom of Heisenberg’s coat as he stood skeptically, awaiting the point still.  “You could have…I don’t know, dreamed up a perfect factory or something.  You looked different.  You seemed happier.”  He was dancing around the unspoken conversation from that evening on the high mountain trail.  “You mentioned you…had control, I assume, control that the cadou took away from you.”

Now Heisenberg’s eyebrow raised.  

“Coming back, you gave all that up,” Ethan continued, his arms flapping at his sides as if he couldn’t articulate what he wanted easily.  “You had everything there, your health, your peace, your home--”

“This is my home,” Heisenberg said, confused.  

“Technically, that was your home,” Ethan said, pointing toward the largest dip in the valley where the factory lay.  

“No, that was my factory,” Heisenberg corrected with a wry expression.  “I meant here.  You.  This.  Home’s not a place.” 

“Karl Heisenberg, that is the most wonderful thing you’ve ever said,” Ethan said, feeling his heart rate rise.  Death changes you. 

It seemed Heisenberg found expression easier after death, or at least, it seemed that way until he spoke again.  

“Hmm,” Heisenberg responded, and then withdrew his gloves from his pockets.  

Ethan put his hands on his hips.  “Please expand on that.” 

With a sigh, Karl continued while he pulled the gloves on, ready to unload the Duke’s approaching cart, “I can’t sit around in some make-believe fantasy prison knowin’ she’s workin’ on comin’ back.  I would never have been happy there, no matter what I did or didn’t have.” 

“Fair enough,” Ethan responded.  Now the Duke was within waving distance, and both men waved at him in return.  As they began to walk toward the manor to meet their guest, Ethan concluded, “So I didn’t ruin anything by…taking you out of the only place you had peace for the last…however long?”

Karl chuckled again.  “I told you already…that wasn’t there.  That’s maybe nowhere.  But if it's anywhere, it's here.” 

-----------

The Duke joined the group in the manor, still looking out of place and excessively large as he took up a whole corner of the dining area.  He left his tables and their wares out nearby for perusal, and several of the men working on property repairs came in and out to discuss and trade coin and tools while the others ate.  So the Duke’s conversation with Ethan was often interrupted.  

Ethan felt strange handing the crystals over to the self-described collector, especially when he saw the awe and enthusiasm which the Duke handled them with.  The large man actually patted the blond on the back, which made him almost topple forward.  It felt strange to celebrate this as an achievement, since to him, he’d simply…removed?...two people’s consciousness.  Changed? He’d given them peace, he hoped.  

“I believe you will find this more than sufficient, in exchange,” the Duke said proudly, as he pushed a leather sack full of leu toward the other.  Before Ethan could protest, the Duke had also withdrawn a large, ancient-looking leather binder and flopped it down onto the table.  Karl actually paused eating when he saw this, and several other diners paused as well. 

“It’s the originals,” the Duke said proudly, reaching for another buttered roll.  “As such, they’re in medieval Romanian, but I have a feeling you know someone who can translate.”  This was said with a wink, and Ethan drew back in surprise.  Was the Duke aware of Eva?  

“Original what?”

“This is the…these are the seals of the four Kings,” Karl said with a bit of awe and disgust.  He pushed the leather binder away and eyed the Duke. “Gotta be centuries old.  You read all of it?”

“Oh, indeed, I have copies for myself,” the Duke said smugly.  “I am actually quite proficient at that language…for all the good it does me.”  He hummed, then ate, as Ethan opened the embossed leather binding, gazing at the aged, tattered papers within.  “Ethan, I believe you will find this information worthwhile.  There were people with similar…abilities as yours in that time.  They were held in high regard.  Some of their experiences are detailed here.  As well as how to…” now his voice lowered, “....do…well, the opposite of the crystals.”

“What’s the opposite of a crystal?”  Ethan said it and then his eyes widened as he realized what the Duke meant.  

Maricara shook her head swiftly at this, said something in her language, and chided the Duke, who laughed and put up his hands as if apologizing.  

“I could resurrect others?”  Ethan hadn’t even considered this.  Even though Heisenberg had done it to him--and how, he didn’t quite know, but it had involved a mechanical heart, so it likely had little to do with mold powers.  

“They could,” the Duke said confidently, cutting into more food, chewing and pausing, before, “...I imagine it would be easier to do with a crystallized form, just from reading the rituals.  I do have several of those, you know.  I wonder though, how the other Lords would feel about that?”

Ethan’s brows dropped and a scowl appeared so ferociously that the Duke laughed aloud, a full, hearty laugh, for the first time.  Karl shook his head imperceptibly under the hat, which he still wore at the table.  Maricara drew the line at the glasses though, and the engineer’s yellowish eyes were unreadable as he continued to shake his head. 

“The people who worked for Miranda.  Took Rose.  Are you serious.”

“Only a suggestion, Ethan,” the Duke said mildly, mouth full of food. 

Ethan stared at Karl, who stared back impassively.  Ethan knew that Karl was included in the title of "Lord", that Karl had also worked for Miranda, but that was different.  Right?  Karl would think so. 

“I’m going to need you to be as outraged at that idea as I am,” the blond snapped, and Rosemary blew a raspberry from her high chair.  Ethan pointed at his daughter.  “Yeah, exactly.  That’s exactly what I mean.” 

When Karl didn’t speak or respond, Ethan’s shoulders drooped.  “You cannot be serious.” 

Karl shrugged, looking uneasily around with an expression that said let’s discuss this later.  Ethan turned back to the Duke.  He slapped a hand onto the leather.  “I’ll take this, but no.  Absolutely not.” 

The Duke seemed to find this entire situation hilarious, and his continued chuckles were almost as irritating as Karl’s stony silence.  

“Enough of this,” Maricara interrupted, and Ethan was happy to turn the conversation over to her, until-- “Let us discuss our plans for Sânziene.”

Karl groaned aloud, and she instantly began berating him again in her own tongue, with all of the authority of a village chief.  Karl actually sank down in his seat like a teenager, and the whole table burst into conversation and excitement.  Ethan, as usual, turned to the Duke for enlightenment.  

The man dabbed daintily at his mouth with a napkin.  “I believe the best translation for the festival would be Midsummer--”

“--Festival!” Ethan choked on his water. 

The Duke listened to the conversation, and peered at Karl, who leaned back in his chair with a loud sigh of exasperation.  The engineer wasn’t speaking, just sliding ever so much farther downward.  

“I believe she wants Lord Heisenberg and yourself to host, again,” the merchant said after more sentences were spoken.  “Sânziene is over a week away, do not worry, there is time to prepare.”

“A week?!”