#i want to write something in polish but I ALSO want to have some feedback when i post it lmao

[blckbrdlove]

someone else lights up the room

paring: eren jeager x reader

summary: it’s mid-september and eren’s falling in love for the first time in his whole life. too bad for mikasa, it isn’t with her, but with you.

genre: fluff, smut, slight angst (just in case)

notes: well pals! here she is!! my long, long awaited re-write for this series. a lot of this will seem familiar to those who read this part when i first posted this series, but there is some new stuff we haven’t read yet as well! after this part, almost everything we see will be new to all of us. i am very happy to get this out and to hear everyone’s thoughts on the re-write. reblogs and comments are much, much appreciated. please give me any and all feedback you may have. i know i put it off, and missed lots of deadlines i promised you guys, but i have put my whole heart into her. i am very excited to get this whole series out and completed to you guys, which will all be posted (hopefully) before the end of august.  title credits; nothing new; taylor swift ft. phoebe bridgers

warnings: MINORS DNI, angst, fluff, meet cute, eren is a hopeless romantic, eren is a gentleman, eren is a sweet boy, eren falls in love with reader basically at first sight and has been smitten with her ever since, reader recently got out of a toxic relationship and is still healing- but is also very smitten with eren, unrequited love (mikasa), mentions of creampie, jealousy, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving)

word count: 8k

series masterlist next

Eren spots you from across the courtyard walking with your little blonde friend after his final class for the day. It makes him stop and completely tune out whatever Mikasa is trying to talk to him about regarding their upcoming applications for medical school that are due in a few weeks.

You’ve got on a little light blue floral dress that shows off your legs and collar bones beautifully, and paired with some strappy white sandals that show off the pretty polish on your toenails.

It makes him wonder if your skin is as soft as it looks from this distance. He bets it is, and he bets you smell really good, too.

Your friend says something that makes you laugh, the sound bringing a half grin on Eren’s own face as his heart stutters in his chest.

Mikasa looks up to see if he’s paying attention, quickly taking notice of the gleam in his eyes and half smile beginning to take up his face. It almost makes her smile before she realizes he isn’t even paying attention to her.

Her gaze follows the direction of his, quickly noticing you walking in their direction with your friend’s arm linked through yours.

She quickly frowns, being unfortunately reminded of the deep infatuation that Eren has with you that began during last spring’s semester. Honestly, the first time he talked about you, she thought you were an idiot, being the only junior in a freshman level chemistry class and barely passing. She often wondered if Eren tweaked your grades on the papers and exams he graded as Professor Hange’s TA, not that she would ever admit that to him.

Annie had been the one to inform him that you had a boyfriend, and had been with said boyfriend since high school, her knowing from not only going to high school with you and your friends but having been in the same friend group before she broke up with Bertholdt. Apparently her friendship wasn’t as valued to you guys as his was and she made her quick exit and found herself in their little friend group now, thanks to her and Armin’s relationship, if you could even call it that currently.

Discovering your relationship didn’t quell Eren’s interest a bit, and he asked Annie to tell him everything she knew about you, which was actually quite a bit despite not being very close to you.

Annie met you through your, now ex, boyfriend Porco Galliard. You were a cheerleader and top of your class at Marley Prep and you have stupid rich parents who fund your whole lifestyle and want you to be the happiest you can be.

In Mikasa’s mind, you just really aren’t the type of person she think Eren would be happy with. Sure, his family is well off, but your parents, from what she knows, are on a whole different level, and you seem shallow.

She ends up so lost in thought she doesn’t even hear Armin walk up and start a conversation with them, going off about some party that Annie said she was going to tonight and hinted that she’d like to see him there if he was available.

“Armin, not that I mind going with you, but I’m not sure why you need me to go with you?” Eren spoke with slight confusion.

Armin looks between Eren and Mikasa, “I’ll just feel better if the two of you are there with me,”

Eren’s gaze turns soft when he notices how tense Armin is, how nervous he actually is at the thought of joining Annie at this party. Mikasa speaks up before Eren can respond, “We have a really, really important lab tomorrow, but as long as we aren’t out too late we can come.”

It almost upsets Eren at how definitive her answer is, how she’s decided for them that they need to be home at a certain time, that he needs to be home at a certain time. He isn’t a child, and he’s getting tired of all the coddling he gets between Mikasa and his mother.

“Lab isn’t until 9 anyway, so we don’t have to be home that early anyway.”

Armin throws his arms around his two best friends, mumbling quick thank you’s and you guys are the best.

εїз

Eren doesn’t exactly hate parties, but he didn’t particularly want to be here tonight. He’s under a lot of stress with his applications for early acceptance to his top medical school choices being due soon and his mom has been on his ass about coming to visit, which he typically doesn’t mind doing but before returning to campus for this last year at university, he and his dad got into a huge fight over where he’d be going to school and residencies and all the bullshit he didn’t want to deal with, especially since he still hasn’t told his dad that he doesn’t know if he plans on going to medical school.

But there isn’t a thing in the world he wouldn’t do for Armin, and if Armin needs him here for moral support, then he’s here.

Grabbing a cup and putting who knows what is in it, he turns around to make his way back to the living room to find his friends when he stumbles into another body. Reaching for your wrist, nearly dropping his cup in the process, he helps steady your body as his eyes widen slightly realizing just who it is he just ran into.

You’re slightly more intoxicated than you’d typically like to be, but after spending the afternoon watching your phone blow up with text after text from Porco before you finally had to buckle down and block him, again, over some of the hateful things he had sent you, all you wanted to do was drink and forget about the stupid break up, which paired perfectly with the fact that Hitch had wanted to come to this party and stalk Marlo.

Eren’s eyes trail up your figure, taking in all of you. Tonight you’re wearing dark wash jeans that compliment you in all the right places, light rips line the area of your thighs. The denim comes up and rests perfectly on your hips, while the light pink top you have on hugs your chest in a way that Eren knows if he looks for too long, his own jeans will start to get tight, with the amount of cleavage your showing on top of the way it clings to you.

Your own eyes look over him, taking in his pairing of dark wash jeans and a plain black shirt that clings to his muscles just right. He’s got nice hair too, you note to yourself, and it’s thrown into a sexy messy bun. You can’t help but wonder if it’s as soft as it looks.

The two of you make eye contact and it feels like his eyes are trying to find your soul with how deeply he’s looking at you.

Your staring is interrupted by Hitch, who stumbles in and grabs your free wrist with a giddy look in her eyes, “You won’t believe who just got here,” And just like that, you’re pulled away from him and into the crowd of people.

Hitch drags you over to your other two friends. Historia is sitting on Ymir’s lap as the latter is whispering, what you can only assume, dirty words in her ear. The way Historia is fidgeting in her girlfriend’s lap with her lip between her teeth makes you fairly sure that the two won’t be here for much longer.

You look at Hitch with a raised eyebrow and tilt your head back to the two of them in question. “Reiner is here.” Distaste fills your features at the mention of the blond brute as you hum before taking Historia’s cup from her and drinking the bitter, clean liquid.

“Vodka? Yuck.” Your face is scrunched up as you close your eyes and drink the remainder of the drink. You look back at Hitch, “No Pieck?”

Hitch frowns at the mention of the dark haired girl and shakes her head, not knowing why you would even bother to ask.

Pieck wasn’t initially your friend, she was his friend, but she quickly embedded herself into your friend group after you had started dating him. Hitch never really liked her, to be fair Hitch doesn’t really like anyone, in fact she always thought Pieck had tried a little too hard to be your friend, always looked at you a little too long. There had been multiple occasions where the shorter girl would lace her fingers with yours when she thought no one was paying attention, or Hitch would find her sending a heated glare in Proco’s direction when he would cling to you in front of her.

And it’s not like she’s even been around since the monumental breakup that occurred in June. Sending all of your calls to voicemail and neglecting the group chat before Ymir had enough and finally just kicked her out completely.

Needless to say, Hitch thought Pieck was fucking weird. But what she thought was weirder was that after you and Porco broke up, she completely ghosted not only the group- which Hitch could’ve excused- but you as well. Hitch couldn’t care less about Pieck not wanting to stay friends with her, but what bothered her was how hurt you were over it.

Sure, you have herself, Historia, and Ymir. Hitch has been your best friend since first grade and has never been anything less than your rock. Always there when you need her and never letting you down. And Historia joined the two of you, turning your duo into a trio in sixth grade when you and Hitch decided to join the cheer squad for middle school, and you met Historia at tryouts. The three of you made the squad and the rest was history.

When Ymir started dating Historia freshman year of college, she quickly learned how much you and Hitch meant to her, and in turn, as long as it was in her means, if you needed anything she was there.

But Pieck’s different, she’s no Historia, and she’s definitely no Hitch, but she’s Pieck and you hold a lot of love for her. And you were absolutely heartbroken that when you called her after the huge final blowout between you and Porco and she didn’t answer.

Sure, Hitch and Historia know how bad your relationship was, they know everything, but Pieck was the only one who saw how bad it was. It killed you to know she didn’t care enough to even just answer or send you a stupid text despite everything.

As if she can sense your mood dampening, Hitch grabs your hands, smiling wide and giddy again as she remembers why she drug you out of the kitchen in the first place, “You will not believe who is here!”

You roll your eyes playfully as you turn to give her your full attention so she can talk all about Marlo, not even noticing the eyes that can’t stop looking in your direction.

Across the room Eren stands with Mikasa and Armin, the blonde nearly sweating through his light blue button up shirt. Despite trying to calm him down, Mikasa can tell Eren’s mind is elsewhere. He keeps glancing across the room.

Following his eyes, Mikasa’s land on you with your friends and she has to fight an eyeroll, already irritated with being here.

Despite thinking his crush was stupid, hollow even, she couldn’t deny that she’ll never forget how upset she had been when she overheard Eren talk about you with Armin, the former had told him that you were probably the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

When she looked up your instagram later that same night, her stomach knotted as she noticed just how pretty you looked in all your photos, how put together you always seemed. Mikasa’s never really been insecure over girls Eren had brought in and out over the years, but you were just a different story.

Armin seems to finally catch on to the fact that Eren isn’t paying attention to his nervous ranting.

“Eren! Hello?” Armin finally snaps him out of trance, Eren looking at him briefly before looking back over at you, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He tells him off handedly, gaze still on you. You have a bright smile on your face as Hitch says something, he assumes, is funny.

“You should just go talk to her,” Armin finally tells him with an exasperated sigh, which causes both Eren and Mikasa’s heads to snap towards him.

“Why would I do that?” “Why would he do that?” Eren’s eyes meet Mikasa’s as she blushes harshly under his gaze that holds deep offense.

Armin looks between the two before he clears his throat awkwardly, “I mean it’s not like she has a boyfriend anymore or anything. Worst case scenario she ignores you,”

Eren nods before frowning slightly, “Yeah, but I almost knocked her down in the kitchen and didn’t even apologize,”

Armin looks at him with wide eyes, almost gasping, “You mean to tell me you finally had a chance to talk to her? And you didn’t?”

Another offended look is on Eren’s face in an instant, “How do you know I didn’t talk to her?”

Armin scoffs as he rolls his eyes at Eren’s question, “Well, actually, I know you. And I know for a fact that you didn’t talk to her because you wouldn’t be over here with us talking about her, you’d be over there with her. And I also know that even if talking to her didn’t work out, you still would’ve said something about it.”

Mikasa frowns again, “But aren’t we supposed to be here to support you, Armin? I mean you’re a nervous wreck.” Armin gives her a weird side eye, and frowns lightly at her behavior.

“I mean I have you here, and Jean and Connie are here if all else fails?” Though he says it as if it’s a question, Mikasa knows the question is why she’s being so defensive about Eren talking to you.

“I think it’ll be fine,” Armin turns back to Eren, giving him a nervous grin, “Just go talk to her1 Annie’s here already anyway.”

Eren nods to himself, and then looks between Armin and Mikasa with a half grin that makes Mikasa want to melt into a puddle. “Wish me luck.”

As Eren makes his way across the room towards you, Mikasa can’t help but frown as she starts to compare herself to you. The outfit you’ve got on compliments your body so nicely, while her ripped black jeans and black tank top do nearly nothing for her own figure. You’re also pretty outgoing, while Mikasa can barely hold a conversation with anyone who she hasn’t known since high school without cringing at herself.

The glitter that frames your eyes is also a deep contrast from the black liner that is smudged around her own, your hair is nicely styled with a pretty silver butterfly clip holding some of it back while Mikasa’s hair is at an awkward stage of nearly outgrown because she hasn’t had a chance to go get it trimmed since coming back to school.

She also has bags starting to form under her eyes, the long nights of studying getting to her. Choosing pre-med as her major in an attempt to stay close to Eren starting to bite her in the ass since it comes a lot easier for him, so he doesn’t have to study as much.

Jean and Connie join Armin and Mikasa once they notice Annie in the kitchen. Connie walks up behind Armin and wraps his arm around him, getting close to his ear so he can give him a pep talk on how to woo Annie. Armin grumbles back that he doesn’t need his help, but when Sasha bounces over, she gets on Armin’s other side and tells him that Connie means well, just take his advice!

Jean stands awkwardly next to Mikasa, who has yet to take her eyes off of Eren. Her eyes finally avert to Jean when he starts talking.

“You look really nice tonight, Mikasa,” She has a slight frown on her face, but she mumbles back a small thanks as she bites her lip. She looks like she does every day, and she wants to tell him that, but instead she gives him a fake smile that she knows he can see right though and asks him if he wants to go find something to drink. He has an idea of what she’s trying to do but smiles softly and tells her to lead the way.

As the two of them make their way to the kitchen, Mikasa takes another glance towards your direction, stomach dropping even more when she takes note that Eren’s standing in front of you with his hands in his pockets.

Hitch had been going on about Marlo and how handsome she think he is for the past twenty minutes; Ymir is about five minutes away from taking Historia up to a bathroom, and you’ve had probably one too many solo cups full of vodka when Eren made his way to you, hands in his pockets and a boyish half smile on his face.

Hitch cuts herself off mid-sentence when she takes note of the six foot two man towering over the couch you occupy, eyebrows raised as she looks between the two of you with a sparkle in her eye once she realizes his eyes are strictly on you.

Your own eyes are wide with drunken curiosity as you look at him. “I know you!” Your voice makes Eren smile slightly as you continue, “You bumped into me in the kitchen, right?”

Eren winces and lets out an awkward laugh, “Uh, yeah. I just wanted to come over and apologize, I had meant to earlier but was a little distracted.”

His heart sputters when you let out a soft giggle, “Oh, don’t worry about it! Parties can get distracting. Though, I’d hate to think you’ve spent this whole party thinking about apologizing instead of actually enjoying yourself,”

Though there’s a teasing glint in the smile on your face and in your tone, your eyes tell him you’re genuinely worried he spent the whole party worrying about the fact that he ran into you.

“Oh, uh no. Well I mean I was distracted by you, but” His eyes widen once he realizes what he said, while Hitch has to hold back laughter at the man in front of her turning red.

“You were distracted by me?” Your tone is slightly disbelieving, and your eyes have a certain shine in them that he doesn’t quite recognize but the look on your face has his own flushing even more.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Ymir and Historia have pulled away from each other and make eye contact with Hitch, whose eyes are gleefully wide as she looks between them over your head. Historia is a little confused due to the amount of liquor she’s drank in such little, but Ymir catches on pretty quickly to what Hitch is getting at and reaches across Historia to tell you that they’re gonna head out and they’ll see you later. Historia looks confused and goes to protest but a quick look from Ymir has her quiet despite her confusion.

Waving bye to your friends, Hitch looks across the room and her eyes land on Marlo, she looks back at Eren with a coy smirk, “Keep an eye on her for me, yeah?” and before he can answer she’s up and gone.

You and Eren sit in a semi-awkward silence for a few moments before he speaks up, “Do you want another drink?” He cringes at his question and silently prays that you don’t think the worst, that he’s just trying to get you drunk.

“Actually, I think I’ve had enough to drink, but maybe we can go sit outside or something?” He nods, an excited look in his eyes that makes you smile brightly. He reaches his hand out to you, and you take it, smiling wider as he helps you up and puts an arm around your back to take you outside. Neither of you notice the heated glare in Mikasa’s eyes as she watches from the kitchen.

It’s a lot more comfortable outside, you’re able to breathe and hear a lot  better. He sits next to you on the ground up against the rough brick of the house as the two of you spend nearly the next hour talking about whatever comes to mind.

Eren asks a lot about you, what you like, what your favorite food is, why your favorite song is your favorite song, asks about your major. He tells you that he thinks you look like an art major, which in turn you tell him you didn’t expect him to be in pre-med, which he laughs lightly as he nods in agreement, telling you it definitely wasn’t his first choice. You don’t ask him to elaborate, which he’s thankful for.

Mikasa frowns from her spot next to Sasha as Eren makes his way back over to the group, you shyly behind him with your fingers laced through his. Armin smiles and has to refrain from sending a thumbs up towards Eren once he notices you’re with him. Annie smiles, what Mikasa would consider her most genuine smile, and waves at you. Mikasa nearly forgot that the two of you used to be good friends at one point.

Mikasa tunes out the rest of the group as Eren explains that he’s gonna head out, you’re getting tired, and he wants to make sure you get home safe. He’s got that boyish smile on his face, and Mikasa watches how you’ve got a blinding grin on your own face, eyes not leaving him as he speaks to his friends.

Jean watches Mikasa’s eyes water slightly as Eren sticks his hand in your back pocket as the two of you walk away. Her watery eyes meeting his as she silently begs for him to make the pain go away.

εїз

Eren has you pinned up against the front door to his apartment before it can even slam shut behind you. Your chest pushed up against the door as his hands work their way up and down your sides under your shirt, teasing the underside of your breast as he grinds his erection into your ass as your back arches.

His left hand moves your hair to the side so he can suck on your neck while his right hand reaches for the button of your jeans, making quick work of getting them undone and slipping his hand into your panties. His middle finger makes quick work in circles on your clit, making you gasp in surprise and reach up with you right hand and grab at the back of his head, tangling your fingers his soft brown hair.

The light pull of your fingers causes him to groan and bite down on your neck, causing you to gasp in surprise.

He pulls his hand out of your pants and moves both hands to the hem of your jeans and begins to pull them down. His husky voice in your ear makes you moan out loud when he tells you how badly he wants to taste you.

His body follows his hands as he pulls your jeans down to your ankles, slapping your ass lightly before he spreads your cheeks so he can get a nice view of your cunt, and he groans when he sees how fucking wet you are.

His thumb finds your clit and he puts just the slightest bit of pressure, but somehow it’s enough to make you let out a soft moan of pleasure, causing him to smirk.

“Yeah, you like that, baby?” You nod and moan louder as he puts more pressure, rubbing harsh circles as he leans forward and dips his tongue into you. He groans at your taste, and he takes his thumb away from your clit so he can use both hands to pull your body closer to his face.

“God you taste so fucking good,” His words make you blush, but he gives you no time to respond, his tongue finding its way back to your clenching hole.

“Ohmygod,” You can’t contain the gasp of pleasure that leaves you as your right hand reaches around to hold his head in place as he continues fucking his tongue in and out of you, hands gripping your hips tightly to keep you as close to his face as he possibly can, breathing be damned.

His tongue alternates between fucking your hole and licking at your clit. His left hand moves from your hip to your cunt, and he sticks two fingers inside you as he continues licking at your clit. He groans at your tightness around his fingers, that with the addition of the taste of you driving him insane.

“Er-eren!” You yelp out his name as his fingers make quick work of finding your g-spot, you feel him smirk against you once he feels the spongey spot. Fingering you faster, his mouth moves back to your clit, and he puckers his lips around it and begins to harshly suck on it.

The feeling is too much, you feel like you can’t breathe. His fingers repeatedly hitting your g-spot, and his mouth harshly sucking on your clit has you cumming before you even realize it.

“Eren, ah! Fuck, I-I’m cumming,” You moan out, trying to warn him so he can pull away if he wants. But he somehow manages to keep surprising you.

“That’s right baby, you fucking cum for me.” Curling his fingers slightly harder against your g-spot, his free hand grips your hip harder to hold you in place as your body starts to tremble as your orgasm washes over you. He doesn’t pull his fingers away until you’re nearly sobbing from the stimulation against your g-spot, and he slowly pulls his fingers out of your clenching hole.

He smirks as you gasp, one hand still clinging to his head while the other hold the trim by the door for dear life. Slightly leaning forward, he licks your cunt one last time in a harsh strip from your clit up, momentarily sneaking his tongue back in you one last time for good measure.

Pulling away from you, he stands back up, slowly pulling your underwear back up. Giving your ass a light tap, he bends back down and lifts your legs up one at a time at your knees to help you pull your jeans off of your ankles. Eren folds and lays them on the end table by the front door before he makes his way back over to you, who’s now turned around, face flushed and facing him with legs still slightly shaking.

He smiles at you once his hands find their place back on your hips, mouth meeting yours in a kiss that makes you gasp in surprise, but your arms quickly make their way around his neck. Licking your bottom lip, he lifts you enough to where you can wrap your legs around his waist so he can walk you to his room. His tongue works its way into your mouth, causing you to moan slightly around it as he continues kissing you until he reaches his room and sits you on the edge of the bed.

You look at him confused when he makes his way over to his closet, pulling out an old black band t-shirt. It’s faded, but well taken care of. Your eyebrows furrow when he hands it to you and makes his way to his dresser, pulling out a pair of grey sweatpants and changing into them, leaving the t-shirt he was wearing off.

“Did you not want to…” Your voice trails off as you look at him with furrowed brows as he makes his way back over to you, fighting hard to keep your eyes off of his naked chest. He crouches down so your eye level, and he frowns when he sees the slight insecurity swimming in your eyes.

Reaching a hand up, he caresses your face and rubs his thumb just under your eye before he lightly pulls your face to his, kissing you again. This kiss is much lighter than the previous one, softer, he’s being much gentler. When he pulls away you frown slightly, leaning forward for more but he stops you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, trust me when I say I do want to. Like, very badly.” He huffs out a laugh through his nose, the furrow in your brow slightly deepening in a silent question, “But I also happen to enjoy you very much, and I’d like to take you out properly, ya know?” He blushes deeply as he says it, but the smile on your face brings a huge grin to his own.

Reaching forward, you wrap your arms back around him, pushing your face into his neck as a small sigh leaves your mouth, “I think you might be very good for me,” Eren hears you whisper as you nuzzle your face into his neck. Eren lets out a soft but genuine laugh as he pulls your body closer to his, hoping you’re right. Hoping he might just be good enough for you.

εїз

Mikasa looks around Jeans room, trying to stay as far away from him as possible in his full size bed, and she can’t help but wonder what you and Eren are doing right now.

Regret starts building deep in her gut as she realizes what she’s done with Jean will not only change the dynamic between the two of them, but also the fact that Armin is going to be so fucking disappointed in her once he realizes she only slept with Jean because she was upset Eren left with you.

Carefully crawling out of his bed, she quickly finds her phone and clothes before getting dressed and quietly leaving Jeans room.

Guilt is swirling in her stomach as she walks as quickly and quietly as she can out of his apartment and makes her way up a few flights of stairs to the one she shares with Armin and Eren.

She prays to herself that Armin and Annie decided to go back to Annie’s place, so they don’t have to see the disgusted look she has on her face. Disgust with herself, disgust with the fact that Jean let her use him, disgust with the fact that that the more she walks, the more she can feel Jean’s cum leaking out of her. Her disgust is quickly overcome by even more guilt as she unlocks the front door to the apartment.

Guilt is a terrible feeling, it’s nothing compared to the heartbreak she feels as she’s walking towards her room. Because the last thing she expected when she walked past the bathroom was to see Eren holding you up on the counter by the sink as he attempts to wipe the glitter off of your eyes.

He’s got that stupid smile on his face as he whispers for you to keep your eyes shut, he’s almost done. He holds your head at the nape of your neck gently with one hand while the other makes work of carefully rubbing your eye.

You’re mumbling incoherently, sleep lacing your voice as you hold your arms around his neck, head following wherever his hand guides it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eren notices Mikasa’s disheveled appearance, while he doesn’t make a comment one it, she notices the way he raises his eyebrow in surprise.

She wishes she could say something to defend herself, but her gaze is too caught on you. The way he holds you tenderly makes her stomach turn, he’s so careful and gentle as he caresses your face, it makes her frown in envy.

“We’re almost done, you can have the bathroom in a minute,” Eren tells her softly, and she hates that she knows his soft words aren’t for her benefit but your own. She watches as he does a quick glance over your face one last time before he throws away the makeup wipes from a brand she didn’t recognize, watches as he gently lifts you at your hips to wrap your legs around his waist and how your face instantly makes its way to his neck in an almost natural way.

“Night, Mikasa,” Eren whispers and smiles when he hears you mumble a soft night of your own. “Good night, Eren,” Her voice isn’t above a whisper either, so he doesn’t hear her voice crack as he shuts his bedroom door, leaving her in the soft yellow glow of the bathroom light, alone.

Despite all the negative and harsh thoughts running through her mind, all she can focus on is the fact that Eren had let you wear his favorite shirt.

εїз

Eren’s been awake for nearly fifteen minute, he knows he should probably wake you up too. He has a class in a little over an hour, and if he waits too much longer to get up, Mikasa will come to get him like she always does when he sleeps in.

But he can’t bring himself to care, not when you’re lying next to him making that old ass ‘the cure’ t-shirt look as good as you currently are.

He can’t help but admire you. You just look so perfect.

“You’re staring.” Eren flinches in surprise at your words, not realizing that you’ve already woken up.

“I’m gazing,” You peek an eye open at his words, a half-smile making its way onto your face at his cheesiness.

“It’s creepy.” He scoffs at you, leaning his face so close to your own that your noses are touching. “I think it’s pretty romantic.”

A hum leaves you as your raise your eyebrows at him, eyes closing slightly as you lean closer to him, lips nearly touching his, “Romantic you say?”

He sighs, nodding as his eyes refuse to leave yours, “Definitely romantic.”

Just as he’s about to lean in to seal the deal, a loud knock at his door causes the two of you to pull away from each other, “Eren, get up. We have class in a little more than an hour. I will not be late again to one of Hange’s classes because of you.”

He groans, head falling right next to your shoulder, “Yeah. Thanks, Mikasa,”

A laugh leaves your mouth, causing Eren to grin, “What time is it anyway?”

Eren reaches for his phone, clicking it on, “9:15,”

You groan loudly in despair. “I have class at 10:30,” The pout on your face almost has Eren asking if you want to skip and go get breakfast. Almost. But when you reach for your phone and sit up he decides against it.

He watches you scroll through your phone for a minute, not peeking at whatever you’re doing so he doesn’t seem like a creep. You’ve still got a little bit of glitter on your face from last night, and Eren inwardly cringes at the fact that he couldn’t get all of it off.

He likes the way you look in his bed, not to get ahead of himself but he definitely thinks that waking up with you a few days a week is something he could get used to.

Hopefully, next time you guys will have time to go get breakfast though, or maybe if it’s a weekend, you could get brunch.

Eren’s thoughts leave his mind when you look back over at him, a soft smile on your face, “Any chance I can get you to give me a ride home on your way to campus?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” He tries not to sound too excited at the thought of you sitting in his passenger seat. You mumble out a soft thank you as you watch him get out of bed and make his way towards his closet, leaning your head in the palm of your hand as you admire the way his back muscles move and flex when he pulls a black t-shirt over his head.

“What class do you have this morning?” He asks, with genuine curiosity, you look away to give him some sort of privacy as he takes off his sweatpants and underwear so he can put on a pair of dark wash jeans and new briefs.

“Oh, um, it’s an advanced sketching class. Nothing special.” Running your fingers through your hair, you stand up and look around his room for your jeans.

Eren turns back around as he’s buttoning his pants up, smiling when he finds you standing awkwardly without pants on. “Your pants are in the living room,”

A half-grin is on your lips when you make eye contact with him and nod. “Right, I forgot.”

“Forgot I ate you up against my front door last night?” He’s cheeky, and it makes your body heat up as you bite your lip to stop a smile from showing you enjoy his teasing. Reaching over, you lightly slap his arm and mumble for him to get his head out of the gutter, to which he gives you a cheeky smile and a peck on the cheek in relation.

Mikasa is sitting on the couch in the living room when the two of you walk out, and she has to fight looking at you too long once she notices you still aren’t wearing pants. Just that stupid t-shirt that Eren’s been attached to ever since he found it at some local thrift store when they were fourteen.

You smile and send her a small wave, getting a blank look in return that makes you frown slightly. Eren appears in front of you, holding your jeans with that same boyish grin on his face. “I think your shoes are still in my car,” A small okay leave your mouth as your slide your jeans on, not really caring for modesty at the moment since everyone in the room has already seen you without pants on.

Eren holds your phone and keys out to you, “I, uh, couldn’t find your shirt or the clip you had in your hair last night.” As he scratches the back of his neck, you have to refrain from ogling his biceps as they flex. “Oh, uh, that’s okay,”

Before either of you can say anything else, Mikasa clears her throat, “I hate to interrupt, but we have a class to get to.”

Eren gives her a weird look at the tone she uses and the look she’s giving you. “Actually, we’re taking a detour. We’re going to drop her off at her place first.”

She frowns and looks over you under her nose now that she’s standing, before giving him another look, “Eren, we seriously can’t be late again.”

You finally decide to speak up, “I can always get an uber-“

“I think that would be for the best.” “Absolutely not!”

You look awkwardly between the two of them as they glare at each other, feeling extremely out of place. You give Eren an uncomfortable look, “Really, I can find my own way home,”

Eren lets out a scoff, his eyes softening as he looks at you again, “It’s really not a big deal. And if she has such a problem with it, she can take a bus.”

Mikasa lets out a noise of disbelief grumbling a whatever, sending you a sharp glare as she storms to her room to grab her bag.

She can’t fucking believe him, how dare he? She’s been nothing but good to him for twenty-two years and this is what she gets in return? Over some random girl who didn’t even know his fucking name twenty-four hours ago?

The car ride to your apartment from theirs consists of an extremely awkward fourteen minutes, not that you were counting. Mikasa had sent you another intense glare when you went to sit in the front, practically forcing you to sit in the back and ignored you the whole time, talking over you anytime you tried to respond when Eren spoke to you.

You have to refrain from letting a huge sigh of relief leave you once the car stops in front of your building. Eagerly getting out of the car, you don’t even notice Eren quickly stumbling out of the driver’s seat as he tries to catch up with you.

“Hey! Hey, wait up!” His voice makes you halt your steps, turning around to look at him. “I’m really sorry about you, I don’t think she had a great night last night and-”

“You don’t owe me an explanation, Eren,” You don’t mean to interrupt, but he really doesn’t owe you any sort of explanation.

Slightly frowning he responds, “Well, I know. I, I just had a really, really good time last night, and I didn’t want to end things on a bad note or before I can ask for your number.”

“You could’ve just asked,” A light laugh leaves you at his more detailed than explanation, “I just meant you don’t have to apologize for your friend. Everyone has bad nights sometimes, and having someone throw of your routine can make stuff like that even worse.”

“Oh,” He laughs awkwardly as you hold out your hand for him to give you his phone. He watches with enthusiasm as you punch in your number before calling yourself, so you have his number.

“Text me later! I’d stay and talk more, but I need to go change for class and I think if you stay any longer, Mikasa may just glare a hole in my skull.” You press your lips against his cheek softly before you turn around to enter your building, “See ya later, Eren.”

His whole face is burning up by the time he gets in the car, too engrossed in what just happened to even notice that Mikasa has a deep scowl painting her features.

His phone buzzes, pulling it out he sees it’s a text from you. A fond smile is on his face when he sees it’s a mirror selfie of you in his t-shirt with a half grin on what shows of your face. For my contact photo <3

“Are we going to class or what?” Mikasa grits out with a hateful tone, snapping him out of his trance.

“Oh, right.” He awkwardly coughs out as he starts the twenty minute drive to campus. Very, uncomfortably, awkward twenty minutes.

εїз

Walking out of your sketching class, you’re pleasantly surprised to find Eren standing there waiting for you with, what you assume is, an iced coffee in his hand. Once he notices you, a huge smile appears on his face.

“Hey!” Your face heats as he hands you the drink enthusiastically, “Uh, Hi!” You look between him and the drink with curious eyes, causing him to blush as you take it.

“Oh, right. It’s an iced chai, with oat milk. I had Armin make it, he said you seemed like the type to like chai, but if you don’t like it then I can take you and get you something else.”

Your eyes don’t leave his face as he goes on about how Armin said oat milk was definitely a safe choice, because in case you have a dairy allergy, he firmly believes it superior non-dairy milk. Eren continues rambling for a few minutes about how he has no idea about the differences between almond and oat milk before he finds himself lost in your eyes that seem lost in his.

Smiling, you reach your free hand and grab his own, “I love oat milk. And, I have to agree with Armin, it is the superior non-dairy milk.”

Relief washes over his features as he smiles brightly at you, eyes traveling over you as he takes in your outfit change from this morning. You’ve chosen pink again today, and he can’t deny that it looks great on you, though he wishes you had kept on his shirt instead of going with the pink jeans with the pink corduroy jacket over a cropped white tank top you’ve chosen today.

You clutch your black tote bag closer to you as you sip the drink happily, grinning at Eren as you bite on the straw.

He smiles softly and clears his throat, “Anyway, I had a question for you.”

You quirk a brow, nodding for him to continue, “There’s this old theatre in town, they play lots of older films. They’re playing Rear Window on Friday at 7:30. Last night you mentioned you like older movies, so,” he sticks his hands in his pockets, biting his lip and glancing up at you, green eyes shining.

Your face heats up even more if possible, “Are you asking me out?” You pray his answer is yes.

“I mean, yeah! But, like, only if you want, though,” He’s met with a lip bite as you fight back yet another grin.

Despite wanting to say yes, you feel the slight need to be cautious. “I would love to go see Rear Window with you, but-”

Eren has to fight the frown that begs to take over his features at your words as you continue. “I just got out of a relationship. The only relationship I have ever been in, actually. And, well it wasn’t exactly a great relationship,”

Looking up at him you give him a small smile, “I would love to go out with you Eren, on a date. But do you think we could maybe, I don’t know, just hang out for a little bit? Take things slow?”

Eren tries not to look disappointed, because he does understand and he’s not disappointed, more bummed than anything honestly. But, he’s spent a whole semester pining over you, what’s a little longer?

“Absolutely!” The relief in your eyes makes whatever disappointment that was trying to creep in disappear completely.

Yeah, he absolutely can take things slow. No problem at all, right?

Can you take things slow, though? Probably not.

A comfortable silence develops between the two of you as you leave the fine arts building and head towards the parking lot to the south of it, “Do you want to get lunch with me and my friends tomorrow? I can pick you up around 1?”

Looking at him, you smile and nod, “Yeah, but are you sure no one will mind?”

Neither of you need to say anything to know you’re referring to Mikasa and her behavior towards you this morning. His face falls slightly at the thought of you not wanting to meet or hang out with his friends just because she was acting out of character this morning.

“Of course not!” It rushes out before he can control it. “If you’re worried about Mikasa, she had just had a bad night last night, like I was telling you earlier. It had absolutely nothing to do with you!”

You bite your lip, still unsure as you two come to a stop next to your car. Looking up at him, you sigh internally when you see his green eyes are already staring deeply at you, as if he’s begging you to say yes.

Despite a nagging feeling deep in your stomach, one telling you not to give in, especially so soon, a small voice in your head tells you that this, that he, could be good for you.

A soft smile creeps onto your glossy lips as you nod, telling him you’d be happy to go with him to lunch with his friends.

The smile the breaks out on his face makes all your negative thoughts disappear.

This will be a good thing, worst case, you just don’t click with his friends. He seems to like you plenty well already, and you like to think you’re likeable, surely his friends will, at the very least, get along with you.

[atalienart]

What are your tips on improving writing?

I don't think I'm at the level to give such tips. I myself try to read a lot of different books and learn from the authors that way. I watch youtube writing channels that talk about story structure, character development, or give advice how to improve prose and what to avoid. It's good to have someone who can look at your writing and give some feedback too. Also, I write. After some time, when I go back to my writing, I can see the mistakes better.

I can share some things that I've learnt from others and I think are good advice, for example:

use strong verbs (the person may walk but may also stroll, march or tiptoe);

there are more interesting verbs than to be;

weave description into action (The building was big. She walked towards it. ➜ She lifted her head as the stone walls grew before her. or He took the book in his hand nervously. He was tall, had brown hair and was wearing glasses. ➜ He reached for the high shelf without an effort. Book in hand, he pushed glasses up his nose to read the title - "Magic spells to improve writing." "This is it," he murmured, nervously running fingers through his brown hair.) (or some shit like that);

write sentences of different length so they don't sound monotonous;

If you want to write quick scenes. Short sentences. Actually. Make them slower. Why? Because periods. Are. Long. Pauses. xD

leave the most important words for the end of the sentence (He was thinking about the woman, while drinking his tea. ➜ He was drinking his tea, thinking about the woman.)

avoid filter words like hear, feel, see, etc. (She heard the noise that startled her. ➜ The noise startled her. or She was startled by the noise. or She jumped at the noise.)

be careful with time shifts (She noticed him behind the trees and smiled. Her beautiful monster. She runs to him and takes his hand and all of a sudden everything is all right. "Where is your hat?" she asks, but he just stares at her. He's always been a monster of few words, soft and quiet, but the lack of answer still surprised her. - is this present or past tense? confusion)

every scene should have a purpose - advance the plot, develop the character, add some conflict; ideally it will do all these things;

white room syndrom is bad - avoid;

use as many characters as you need; if one character can do the work of two, you need only one, scrap the other;

every character should want something!

give a character a desire, fear and misbelief;

Here are some of them. I hope they're useful. (They were useful for me even if I write in Polish :)) Of course some of these are optional but I think they make my writing better. I read somewhere that you should write only necessary words, so I'm trying to go by this rule. This is rather hard btw xD

[jaylaxies]

PING! WE SHOULD FUCK

PAIRING: jake x fem!reader

GENRE: smut, fwb, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), fluff, angst, fingering, choking, spanking, masturbation, cunnilingus, mentions of nicknames and food, jake has a twin sister, lmk if i missed anything!

SYNOPSIS: trying out tinder was a random thought you had, not expecting to see your best friend’s twin brother there. feeling bold, you swiped right on his profile, never once thinking that he’d do the same and text you right after, to which, you didn’t reply, well knowing that you’ll have to face him the next day for your sleepover with his sister at their place.

WC: 6.5k+ words

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, angels <3 im back with a jake fic! the idea popped up in my mind so randomly but i had to write it down even though i rushed it a bit :3 i hope you guys like it! all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated <3 i hope you guys enjoy it! iloveyou all <3

“Five days? You're kidding me,” your friend deadpanned, blowing air on her fingers as she finished applying another coat of nail polish on her perfectly oval shaped nails.

“I swear! It's been so long, I really need to get laid,” you sighed, painting your own nails with a pout on your face.

To say you were a sex addict would be an understatement. You had recently gotten out of your friends with benefits relationship, simply because you got bored of his ways, it lasted for about three weeks — which was a long time. Nevertheless, you wanted something entirely new this time.

“I fucked Sunghoon yesterday,” Jia spoke up with a proud smirk on her face as you gasped.

Park Sunghoon, the best friend of Jake Sim, who was also Jia's twin brother. It was bound to happen someday, their eye-fucking wasn't very subtle, however, you didn't know she would go on with it. That's exactly what made it more exciting.

“No way on earth you just fucked your brother's best friend,” you chuckled, “that's something straight out of a fanfiction. Scandalous.”

She giggled, telling you all about her experience from the past night and you teased her for scoring that big dick. Meanwhile, you also kept thinking about what to do with your situation. Some options you had would include going to a party and having a random hookup with a stranger, or, reaching out to one of your old flings — which you wouldn't do in your sane mind.

“So, what's your plan next?” she asked you, lying down on her bed as you proceeded to lie down next to her.

“No clue actually. Maybe I'll have to take the matter in my hands for now,” you mumbled, staring at the ceiling.

“Does that mean—” she started.

“—the pink vibrator,” you both spoke out loud, giggling right after.

That was your best plan for tonight, since you were in no mood to go and fish for new boy toys.

Blowing a flying kiss to your best friend, you stepped out of her room, running into something solid, however, it wasn't a wall, rather, it felt muscular. A hand coming to your waist, successfully preventing you from falling down, your eyes widening in the process. You stepped back as the heavy scent of musky perfume invaded your senses, looking up to see none other than Jia's brother.

You haven't exclusively interacted with him before, he had been mysterious ever since you first met him, through Jia, of course. Other than the mere nods of acknowledgement, and a few stares here and there, you hadn't ever spoken a word to him, except for that one time you had thanked him for holding open the door for you.

This would mark as your second interaction, “I'm sorry,” you spoke before taking another step back, looking at his face.

Parted hair, hollow cheeks and plump lips upturned into a smirk.

“Don't be. I enjoyed it, babygirl.” He winked before leaving you standing there dumbfounded, the door of his room closing as you tried to comprehend what had happened seconds earlier.

You'd be lying if you say that you didn't find it attractive. The result of the same being your legs wide open, paired with the same pink vibrator which had become your best mate from the past four days. You unbutton your blouse slowly, getting rid of your bra and cupping your tits, closing your eyes as you thought about being touched, a soft moan escaping your mouth as the vibrator stimulated your clitoris just how you liked it.

You whimpered, legs shaking as you pinched your nipples lightly, biting your lips to conceal your moans. The feeling was euphoric, also paired with distress as no matter what you did, you couldn't reach your high. You groaned, replacing your vibrator with your fingers, rubbing soft circles on your wetness, mind going back to what had happened a few hours back, the image of Jake's face popped into your mind and you didn't fight it.

Instead, you proceed to insert a finger inside your hole, gasping as you imagined it to be his thick finger, soon inserting another digit, pumping in and out while bucking your hips to meet your fingers, curling them inside of you. The highly vivid images of Jake doing those things to you helped a lot more than your vibrator did, a knot forming in your stomach as you increased your pace, thighs clenching as you wondered how deep his accented voice would sound in a situation similar to this.

With rigged breathing and shaking legs, your back arched, toes curling when you moaned out Jake's name, reaching your high with the release of your fingers being coated with your juices.

With weak legs, you stood up after a solid of five minutes, getting into the shower after turning the geyser on, letting the hot water droplets soak you up, you sighed, realizing what you'd done a few minutes back. Leaning against the cold shower tiles, you gently rubbed your body with a loofah, shaking your head.

You admit that it was the best orgasm you've had in two weeks, however, the fact that you had cum to the thought of your best friend's brother is what made your heart beat faster than normal.

With your bathrobe on and your hair still wet, you sat down on your bed with no intention of wearing your clothes just yet. You opened your Instagram only to come across Lee Heeseung's post, whereby he showed off his new girlfriend. Just below it, you saw a very vibrant advertisement of Tinder, your interest piqued all of a sudden as you clicked on it, downloading the application at once.

This is what you were going to do, find someone to hook-up with using a dating app, you hadn't ever done this before and naturally, it took you a few minutes to make an account and learn the basics of how the app works, making sure to select an equally sluttery and adorable picture for your profile.

You won't deny that it was fun to swipe left seeing some profiles with literal actors on their profile pictures, not to mention they also claimed to be those very actors. You also came across certain people which you judged, looked fine for your taste, however, they didn't quite reach your ‘I need them to fuck me' scale.

You sighed, almost giving up on this until this one profile made you sit up straight. It was as if the universe was hinting something at you when you saw none other than Jake Sim's profile being displayed on your phone. His picture was clearly alluring, his eyes focused on the camera and his tongue slightly out which, you'd admit, did make him look attractive.

You stared at the screen for a brief second before letting your thumb swipe right before you exit the application and switch off your phone, wondering if there was something wrong with you that day.

Grabbing your pillow, you screamed into it out of embarrassment, quickly searching for ways to undo the right swipe but a certain notification successfully halted your actions, eyes widening at that.

You got a new match! 😍😍😍

To your surprise, it was Jake.

He had sent you a simple wink emoticon paired with 'heyy', very typical of him. A half scoff-laugh escaped your mouth and you decided not to reply to the particular text, throwing your phone on the bed table, going to sleep with a newfound rush of excitement — excitement for your tomorrow's sleepover at Jia's place.

The next day came by quickly as you woke up late, packed a little bag for your stay and you decided to wear shorts and a blouse for your visit, knowing that you'll soon be changing into your short silk pajamas once you reach her place.

It was eight in the night when you parked your car in front of her house, looking into the car mirror once before you locked it, ringing the doorbell and waiting for a second before the door opened to your excited best friend.

“Y/n, come with me right now!” she more or less dragged you to her room, locking the door before she opened the chats of her and Sunghoon.

“Oh god,” you breathed out.

“Right? He wants me again, how am I supposed to say no to that dick?” she whined.

She could have easily gone to his place. But sadly, she wasn't allowed to do so when her parents were out, since her brother was the one in charge.

“I can cover for you,” you spoke slowly, after a second of forming an idea.

That would give your friend a good fuck, whereas, you can simply make a move on Jake, if you run into him that is.

She turned to look at you “Wait, you can. But how?”

“I mean, I can lock the door once you're out and then I'll also make sure to leave the window lock open so that you can get inside in the morning without getting caught,” you simply said whatever came to your mind.

“That can actually work. Should I say yes then?” she got up, typing furiously already as you nodded, biting your lip.

With a satisfactory smile, she sat down next to you, theorizing that going at midnight would be the best choice since Jake doesn't come out after that hour. You smile and nod, happy to see her so giddy, also offering her a facemask as you put on a movie, watching it together, munching on the snacks she had gotten earlier.

“So, what are you going to do with your situation?” she asked, throwing popcorn in your mouth.

You chewed before answering, “I think I'll go to Yeonjun's party tomorrow,” you contemplate, almost lying.

“Ooh, I'll come with,” she decided, checking the time before rushing into the bathroom with an excited squeal.

You shook your head, watching her come out wearing a blouse and skirt, spraying perfume earnestly before she blew you a kiss, running by all the rules while you also reminded her to be responsible and to come back on time.

With a kiss on your cheek, she left and you noticed Sunghoon's car being a little away from the place, to prevent being caught.

You sighed, changing into your pajamas, making your way to the kitchen right after as you felt parched.

Opening the fridge, you found an unopened bottle of water, and a slice of pizza from earlier. The whole house was silent and the thought of Jake being busy, or not knowing about you being here, invaded your mind.

If that were to be the case, then you'd have no other option than to go to Jia's room and sleep.

“When someone sends a text—” a deep voice spoke near your ear, a tingle going down your spine.

You turned only to be trapped between arms and the kitchen counter. The scent was musky, the exact same which you had been dying to get close to since yesterday.

“—then good girls text back, don't they?” he stepped back, his eyes staring right into yours as he asked you the question.

Even in the dim light of the kitchen area, he looked stunning with messy hair and sleeveless shirt, not to mention how the grey sweatpants he wore made his waist seem even smaller.

Adrenaline rushed through your body and you tiptoed to his height, your nose brushing against his own as he held your waist to steady your figure.

“What if I'm not a good girl?” your lips brushed against his as you spoke slowly, “Then what, Jake?”

He chuckled, caressing your cheek with his thumb, your heart beating out of your chest as his hand travelled down to your neck, and towards your nape. He held on to your nape and pulled you impossibly closer to him.

“Then maybe I'll have to teach you a lesson, sweetheart,” he tilted your head, “would you like that?” he spoke out your name and you could only whimper out in a rushed agreement.

Soon, his plush lips meet yours in a kiss of urgency, your hand settling down on his bare shoulder, fingers digging into his flesh as you kissed him back with the same urgency. And suddenly, you were thankful that Jia went out.

Jake couldn't stop himself from feeling every inch of you, his hand going under your shirt, smirking when he noticed that you weren't wearing a bra.

“So fucking naughty.” he broke the kiss, whispering in your ear before he picked you up, placing you on the kitchen counter behind

you, his lips now moving down to kiss your neck, sucking on certain areas alongside, fondling your tits, squeezing them which elicited a moan out of you.

“Jake—” you breathed out his name once he unbuttoned your shirt, throwing it on the floor, his plush lips instantly working on kissing your valley of breasts, while you threaded your fingers through his hair, tugging at the silky roots harsh enough to make him groan.

You found it hot how he was just as eager as you if not more, he stepped back and got rid of his own clothes, keeping his boxers on which did nothing to hide the outline of his hardened cock. You stared at him, cheeks on fire and lips slightly swollen. You noticed how his hair looked messier than ever, your eyes following his every move.

He tugged at your shorts, helping you out of them in a hurry, you bit your lip, spreading your legs on the counter so that he could get a better view of your glistening cunt.

“You're soaked,” he touched your wet slit with two fingers, making you shiver in an instant, “aw, princess. Are you that needy for me?” he bent down to place a kiss right where you needed him the most.

You gasped, feeling overwhelmed and wanting more of him, all of him.

He wastes no time in immersing his tongue into your pussy, licking and sucking as you panted, thighs shaking. He held them open with his strong grip on your thigh. Your eyes closed once the tip of his nose brushed against your clit. You felt ecstatic by each passing second, even more so when his thumb took the chance to stimulate your clit further.

“Jake, I'm so close,” you let out, and he stopped that very second, making you whine.

He licked his lips, looking at you right in the eye before he asked, “What do good girls do?”

“R—reply to texts!” you cried out lowly.

His tone got deeper as he asked you further, “Yeah? And what? You're gonna pay attention to me now?”

You were too out of your brain to get a better understanding of his last question, you didn't question it, nodding and saying yes, mind clouded with lust and need.

“I need words,” he urged, kissing your neck.

“Yes. Yes I will.”

“That's my good girl,” he whispered, positioning his hardened cock at your entrance, rubbing his tip on your wetness.

His words made your head spin in a good way. A lot of people had tried to talk to you that way, however, their words didn't affect you a bit. So, what made it different this time? Maybe it was his deep accent, or the fact that you had been craving sex from a few days now. Or, he was simply good at what he did.

It was easy for him to bottom out with how your wet cunt pulled his cock in, his dick stretching you out deliciously as you pulled him in for another kiss, moaning into his mouth.

He groaned, slamming his cock into you as he attached his lips on your tits, biting and sucking hard enough for it to leave marks by the next day. He acquired a faster rhythm, burying his length inside you while you held on to his shoulders for support.

His digits played with your bundle of nerves alongside, pulling you closer by waist in the process. You knew that you won't be lasting any longer than this and so, he increased his pace, spreading your legs further before you started clenching around him helplessly.

“S—so close,” you whimpered.

“Let go, baby.” He started to pull out, his own high nearing, but you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“I'm on pills,” you whispered, gulping down, “Cum in me, please?”

He had never been more turned on in his entire life. Your fucked out face, swollen lips and the innocent eyes begging him made it harder for him to hold back. He, in fact, didn't wish to hold back anymore.

“You'll be the death of me,” he spoke against your lips, thrusting until you reached your state of euphoria, his cum releasing inside you as you both rode out your orgasms.

You weakly called out his name, and you swear you could see his eyes shining before he bent down to grab his clothes, his usual smirk back on his face as he pulled you in closer for one last time, helping you down the counter and lightly chucking at your wobbly legs.

“Next time, you'll text back, right?” he raised his brows.

Your heart hammered at the possibility of him fucking you again, “Yes, I promise,” you breathed out, lost in his eyes.

“Good girl,” he praised once again, before leaving you standing in the dimly lit kitchen.

You cursed, admitting how it was the best orgasm you've ever had in your life, weakly collecting your clothes before making sure to clean the kitchen counter and going back to Jia's room, cleaning yourself up.

You were too tired to function anymore, sleep consuming you fast as you drifted off to the dreamland.

By the time you woke up the next morning, Jia was home and fast asleep next to you, the sunlight was strong enough to wake you up, your legs sore from the pre-sleep activity you had. With a groan, you got up, looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked like a mess, and so, you decided to take a shower and change into the other set of clothes you got with yourself.

“Jia, you're awake?” you saw your friend sitting on the bed with a pout and half opened eyes.

She called your name. “My legs hurt,” she whined, making you chuckle and help her up, despite your condition being the same as her, if not worse.

In half an hour, you both looked a lot more presentable. Rushing down to eat, you guys found Jake with an apron on, cooking what looked like breakfast to you.

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” Jake flicked Jia's forehead and you stood there, seeing the twins bicker.

Jake looked so different from the night, the smile on his face giving his face an angelic glow and his eyes were soft, unlike yesterday, which were full of lust.

He served an omelet with bacon for his sister, soon coming to your side with a playful smile, “Y/n, you look sleepy, did you not sleep well?” he spoke and you rolled your eyes as subtly as you could.

Of course you felt sleepy, he had kept you up half the time and you did not regret it a bit, “I'm hungry,” you spoke, ignoring his question.

He shook his head, winking before going to set up a plate of breakfast for you and him, both. He joined you at the dining table and you three ate silently, scrolling through your phone, still you could feel someone's stare on you, and you very well knew it was Jake's eyes which were fixated on you.

Even when you were leaving for home, he was the one who walked you to the door. Jia didn't suspect a thing, lost in her own little world, giggling as she texted Sunghoon.

“Don't forget to text back,” he spoke in a low tone, almost pressing you against your car with how close he was, “princess,” he concluded, right near your ear.

You gulped, not wanting to admit that even his little gestures affected you a great deal. Not to mention how it was officially just the third day of your said interactions.

You drove back home with a tingling sensation down in your abdomen. Last night left you wanting for more, and so, you looked forward to more of your interactions, also waiting for him to text you.

The day went by as quick as the lightning, you focused on the completion of your assignment, having to submit it in the school tomorrow.

“Final-fucking-ly,” you groaned, stretching your body before you shut down your laptop and plopped on the bed, unlocking your phone to find new notifications, but only one caught your eye.

Jake:

Miss me yet? ;)

You shook your head with amusement, typing out a reply.

You:

What if I do?

Jake:

Then maybe I'll have to come over to solve that problem, bbg

You:

As tempting as the offer is, we have school tmrw </3

Jake:

Tmrw it is then ;)

That was the last text you got from him, and you were curious if he was trying to make this a regular activity. Going behind your best friend was something you'd never thought you'd do, but like you mentioned, the offer was too tempting to refuse.

You took a deep breath, ready to face whatever was to come tomorrow.

You weren't ready for this.

Never in a million years had you thought that one of your fanfiction-esque fantasy would turn into a reality; courtesy of Jake Sim.

The day started off well, the clear sky and light wind made your morning mood instantly better. You reached school right on time, even getting coffee before that to function properly throughout the day.

Sitting with a random student, you pulled out your binder to make notes for that specific class, paying attention to everything your teacher said out loud before a small ball of crumpled paper hit your arm, you turned around in hopes of finding the culprit, but sadly, no one looked even a tad bit suspicious.

You shrugged, shifting your focus back on the lesson. Soon, the bell rang and you sprinted out of the class, the subject wasn't your favourite but paying

attention was the bare minimum. You stood in front of your lockers, stuffing a book back there before you shut it.

��Hey,” Jake spoke and you stepped back in surprise, clutching your chest before you slapped his shoulder.

“The fuck are you doing?” you whisper yelled.

“Exactly. What the fuck am I doing if you're still not pressed against the wall with my lips on yours?” he leaned in and you pushed him back, afraid of someone coming across you both being cozy with each other.

“We can't do it here,” you said, adjusting the strap of your bag and your eyes darting around the corridor, not meeting his.

“Right, we have to be at a secluded place. Follow me,” he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the parking area, which was fairly empty.

“Jake, I have a class—” you stopped once he turned towards you.

“Then you've got two choices, baby,” he smirked, “go and attend your class, or stay and let me fuck you.”

He pressed the door open button on his car keys, and you noticed that it was right behind you. The decision was yours to make, his tempting expression made you want to pull on his collar and smash your lips against his.

That's exactly what you did.

Soon, you were stuffed into the backseat of his car, windows fogged up and devoid of clothes, breathing ragged and his cock deep inside your cunt.

You had never been so grateful for tinted windows before.

“What do good girls say?” he urged you to answer, not moving.

You whined, “Please?”

“You're such a good girl for me, giving me all your attention.” He pulled out, slamming his cock inside your pussy once again and rubbed your clit alongside it.

Despite your state of pure ecstasy, you noticed this one word he spoke, ‘attention’ it was something he had used before too, and you were more than curious to know the reason behind it. Was it based on lust or something more? The question was sure to linger in your mind the whole day.

You hands tangled in his hair, holding his face close to your neck while he placed harsh kisses all over from your neck to clavicle as he hit all the deeper spots inside of you, growling your name as you both reached your climax, him nibbling on your earlobe before he collected your arousal with his two digits, tasting it right in front of your eyes, successfully hypnotizing you with his actions.

Chuckling, he swiftly pulled you on his lap and rested in the position for a while, your wetness close to his hardening cock.

He grabbed your chin and whispered against your lips, “Now that I've got a taste of you, I don't think I'd want to let go,” his tone was deep and breathless.

“Then don't,” you softly spoke, sealing the deal before he pulled you up and let you sink on his cock, taking you for the second time that very day.

This feeling was foreign to you. It had always been you, the plans, the calls, it all came from you whenever you were needy. This applied to all your previous friends with benefits, however, this time was different.

You weren’t one to spend time them, or were available for them when they needed you for their own share of sexual fulfilment.

That’s precisely what you were thinking about while staring into the mirror, lips shaded with your favourite lipstick, clad in a skirt with a top that complemented it well. All this because of one person.

Jake Sim.

It had been a solid of three weeks since your sex escapades started, and in midst of that, you had somehow grown used to his ways, his mannerism and, of course, his golden retriever like charm. You vaguely remember the day it started, the day you gave up your own rules. Willingly.

It was quite a horrible day for you, nothing was going your way, from you getting soaked in the unforeseen rain, to forgetting your assignment back at home and the newfound announcement of one of your favourite local bakeries being closed when you craved something sweet; made your crankiness rise up to a new level.

It blatantly showed how you were in dire need of some kind of distraction, a release of some sort. And Jake unknowingly gave you just that. His text was simple, asking if you wanted to come over, also informing you that his sister won’t be home for the night — and you knew exactly why.

So you took your chance and rushed over to his place. It was as if he knew that you needed something rough, he asked for your permission once before grabbing your wrist with his veiny hand, getting you inside his bedroom and closing the door swiftly, pressing you against the same while his eyes darkened with lust.

You’d never forget that night, the room was filled with the mist of sex and desire, the noise of your skin slapping resonating while you gasped when he spanked your ass, gripping your hair to thrust in harder from behind. His filthy words filled your mind, you wanted him more than you’ve ever wanted anyone. And that’s exactly what helped you reach your climax.

“That was amazing,” you huffed out, rolling on his bed and covering yourself with the blanket, getting comfortable as you tried to calm your breathing.

“You’re amazing,” he spoke, getting in the blanket with you, eyes earnest as he said so.

You gulped, breaking eye contact once your heart started racing at the honesty of his words, getting ready to do what you always did after a session — leave.

However, he had the power to stop you with a single sentence.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asked, eyes never leaving yours.

You simply blinked at his statement, contemplating where you should stay or not, counting the reasons you could stay, the first being the sour ache in your legs, courtesy of Jake’s powerful thrusts which drove you to your breaking point.

Second being the comfort of his mattress, you made a mental note to ask him the brand for the same.

Third being, well, just his company.

Three reasons were enough for you, and you were noddin before you could even think more, making him smile the widest you’ve ever seen. Your own lips curling into one due to how contagious his smile was.

You stayed up the night watching his favourite movie, again, you would have said no but instead, you found yourself getting intrigued by the story each passing second, the night ending with you two sharing the bed, lips faintly curled up. You knew you were doomed when you found yourself in his arms, his face the first thing your eyes witnessed in the morning.

To prevent getting hurt, you did what you had to.

You left before he woke up.

You thought you had dodged the bullet called feelings, however, you only craved his touch more, and when he called your phone the next day, letting you know that he’s outside your place, you broke your rules yet again.

Ever since that day, you found yourself hanging out more, not just for the sake of having sex but also in general. He joined you and Jia whenever you hung out together despite the insufferable bickering he had to go through with his sister.

In the span of two weeks, he accompanied you both to the amusement park, sneaking to make out with you at random times. He went to your place to give you the jacket you left in Jia’s room, only to stay back and have a little extra fun with you while fucking you in your bathroom.

That’s not all. Jake was a kind person despite his usual unbothered and cool persona. He was quick to prove it to you, he took care of you in ways that you wouldn’t expect him to, getting you food and also relieving your stress in his own way. You got to witness the cuter side of him, learning how he’s scared of ghosts and you kissed him on the cheek that day, finding him adorable with his blushing face.

You wanted to spend each second of your day with him.

Which brings you back to today’s case. You were going to their place, Jia not being home again and you wondered why you had put so much effort just to meet him, knowing that you’ll look absolutely smashed once he’ll be done with you.

That wasn’t the case though. He had pulled you in with a smile, not forgetting to kiss you right on your mouth. It felt domestic, and you hated how your knees felt weak at his gestures, you didn’t know that his own heartbeat was faster than usual when he asked if you would play video games with him, even more so once you agreed.

“You’re so bad at this,” you laughed, getting the hang of the game.

“No! I’m just being nice and letting you win here,” he argued.

He was simply bad at it.

Just then, you won again with a celebratory sign showing on the television screen and you jumped up, genuinely smiling and wrapping his arms around him, only for him to hug you back tighter, his hand on your waist pulling you close, increasing the proximity.

You stilled, breaking the hug but his hand didn’t move an inch, keeping you in place. He called out your name in a whisper, giving you goosebumps.

“Yes?” You softly asked back.

“You’re so pretty,” he spoke in that very tone which had your heart racing, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek.

You didn’t say anything, already conflicted at the realization that you liked him. Further, you were taken aback with his next words.

“I’ve always thought you were so pretty from far, but once I came closer and saw you in a more intimate manner, I knew I was fucked,” he confessed softly.

“Wait, what do you mean?” You asked with wide eyes.

He chuckled, capturing your lips in an impatient kiss, his hand cupping your cheek lightly.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, wanting him to be closer than ever, lips moving in sync with his as he deepened the kiss.

The door opened that very second, revealing Jia with widened eyes and a clenched fist.

You stepped back in a frenzy, shaking your head as you walked towards her. Jake rolled his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek before looking away.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She screamed.

“Jia, I can explain—”

She scoffed. “No. You can’t. It’s so low of you to go behind my back to fuck my brother.”

Your eyes widened at her sentence, guilt filling up your body. Despite that, you decided to stay mum and not call her out for fucking Jake’s best friend.

“Just listen to me once,” you begged.

“Leave.” Her words were final.

Your shoulders slumped, and you made your way out despite Jake calling out your name desperately, tears welling up in your eyes. Midway down the stairs, you remembered how you left your phone back in his room, walking back to get it.

“Shut up!” You heard Jake scream once you stood outside the room, you had never heard him scream before.

“So you think I don’t know that you’ve been fucking my best friend all along? Guess what? I don’t fucking care. Do what you have to and let me do what I have to.”

“H—how did you know?” Your friend asked him and you felt bad for causing an argument between the twins.

“I saw you the other day,” he sighed, voice getting lower as he spoke the next words, “why would you do this, Jia? I’ve liked her for so long, this was my chance to be with her and you ruined it.” You heard him speak.

You covered your mouth with your hand at the confession. You didn’t like to evesdrop, but you couldn’t help it either, your cheeks heating up as you heard him speak more.

“No. Actually, like won’t be the correct word here. I’m in love with her,” he told Jia.

You couldn’t stay anymore, leaving your phone there as you quickly rushed down to leave. You didn’t want to leave Jake, not when you felt the same way for him. Crying in your room was the best option for you at the given moment, you didn’t regret being with Jake and also wished for your time together to have been longer, you held yourself for an hour as you cried.

A sudden doorbell made you rush down the stairs and you found Jake standing there with a guilty faced Jia. He saw your crying state and engulfed you in a hug, which only made you cry further into his neck, he held you for a few minutes before you broke the hug and looked at Jia, tears streaming down her face.

“Y/n,” she called out weakly, “I’m sorry.”

You looked at Jake and he nodded before you both pulled each other in a hug. She constantly kept apologizing and you stayed quiet, not knowing how to handle the situation.

“I know I’ve been a hypocrite, I’m so fucking sorry to you both,” she looked down, “Jake is right, you two should be together,” she smiled at you.

“Jia, it’s okay. It must have been shocking for you, I understand and I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Your words made her cry more.

Jake held your hand through it all, letting you know that it’ll soon be okay for everyone.

That night, Jake decided to stay with you as you held on to him dearly. Also staring at him with heart eyes which made him laugh and look away, a faint blush on his face.

“You okay now?” He softly asked, and you nodded.

“Jake,” you licked your lips before looking him in the eye, “I heard you earlier.”

“What?” He looked at you, scared that he’ll be rejected.

“I swear I wasn’t trying to listen to you guys, I needed my phone which I left in your room!” You explained.

“Oh,” he bit his lip, “I understand if you don’t want—”

“I love you.” Your words made him look up with wide eyes.

“Princess—”

“I really do,” you gulped, cupping his face, “I want us to be together.”

He smiled, eyes watering as he pulled you in a deep kiss.

“I love you,” he spoke against your lips, you both smiling, “Y/n?” He called out your name and you hummed, “let me make love to you.”

Your breath hitched at his words, you rubbed your nose with his before nodding and kissing him with a smile on your face.

He looked at you with the most gentle expression, helping you get out of your clothes while kissing every inch of your body. His full attention on you, his eyes fixated on your face as he memorized each of your expressions while he touched your wetness slowly, your fingers digging on his shoulders as he stretched your pussy out with his two digits.

You called out his name with need, and he only kissed you more, his lips soft against yours as his hands caressed your breasts. He quickly separated for a second which caused you to whine, him gathering his precum on his thumb before pumping his cock a few times, positioning himself on your entrance.

Jake thrusted in, placing kisses on your clavicle as he intertwined your fingers, he reached the deepest spots in you, the ones which no one had reached before and you were on cloud nine. His thrusts were perfectly angled, sharp and hit your g-spot — turning you into a moaning mess in his hold.

His hair matted against your forehead made him look even prettier and he saw you staring at him, pulling you into a kiss as he thrusted in harder.

“Don’t look at me like that, princess,” he groaned.

“Like what?” You asked, breathless.

“Like I’m your whole world,” he said and you looked away while he laughed in the crook of your neck.

He rested his forehead against yours when you were close, your mouth opening to tell him something at the same time as his mouth opened.

“I love you,” you both spoke together, reaching your climax together before you smiled, kissing each other deeply.

“You are my whole world,” you spoke up and he shook his head with yet another smile, pulling you on his lap before hugging you closer.

You had never felt happier and were so grateful for the text Jake had sent to you that day, which made you realize one thing that —

Love was the prettiest thing you could ever feel.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

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[targaryenrealnessdarling]

No Pain, No Gain | Part 1 | PersonalTrainer!Aemond x fem!reader

Summary: The personal trainer your roommate Baela recommended to you is rude, condescending but also hot as hell. Series Masterlist.

A/N: shoutout to my personal trainer Alex for rotting my brain. This is my first modern!Aemond fic, so any feedback is genuinely appreciated, I hope you enjoy this, it was an absolute ball to write (and there will be more!)

Also I could not post this without tagging some absolute modern!Aemond QUEENS who inspired me to write this. @valeskafics @oneeyedvisenya @sapphire-writes​ you’re the real ones! Also massive hug to @ewanmitchellcrumbs​ for hyping me up and being a parent to this child she didn't choose to create.

warnings: EVENTUAL SMUT, 18+, sexual tension, binge eating, mentions of breakup, cursing, dickhead Aemond, reader is horny af, English slang (soz), warnings will be added when needed

To say you were broken-hearted would be a bit of an understatement.

You were angry, annoyed, frustrated, wound up tight and pissed off to the highest degree.

And it showed in how you acted these days as you polished off the salty family-size bag of crisps on your own in 10 minutes flat.

You look over at your phone and sigh when you see it’s already 6 o’clock in the afternoon. Another day sat on the sofa, wallowing in self-pity, eating yourself into oblivion and fairly soon pouring a glass of Baela’s finest white wine (now that it was officially almost evening anyway and it was justified).

Scrolling through instagram was like twisting the dagger that was already in your chest. All that stupid fucking app could show you was ‘ex in the bar with his new girlfriend’, ‘ex in the drive-thru with his new girlfriend’, ‘ex on the beach with his new girlfriend’.

It made you want to throw your phone directly at the wall. But you settled for squeezing the life out of it, imagining it was your ex’s stupid face instead.

The absolute waste of space had broken up with you over text on the night you were supposed to go out on a date. And as if that was not bad enough, not even two weeks had gone by before he’d managed to stick his dick into someone else with a pulse. At the time, you were so angry that you didn’t accuse him of anything, he’d already broken up with you. But you did suspect that this ‘sudden’ relationship he’d gotten into wasn’t as recent as first thought. 

It’s been a month since you found out about the other woman.

And clearly you were coping really well.

Indulging wasn’t something you usually did, but now you feel you deserved it. 

“Hello~” the soft, ringing voice of your roommate Baela was at the door. You half-considered hiding all the packets of various foods you’d managed to stuff down your gob, but Baela had seen worse of you. She’d seen you while you were throwing your guts up after freshers week at university. Nothing was worse than that and you shuddered at the memory.

She walks in, looking more put together than you by a long way, having been hanging out with her sister all day. That’s what you like about Baela, she’s not judgemental, and so when she sees you’ve barely moved an inch she just flashes her usual smile.

“Good day then?” she says with a smirk. You raise your eyebrows in return.

“Apart from seeing him plastered all over instagram I’m great” 

“Got any left?” she asks, extending a greedy hand for a crisp. You offer her the bag with a sigh as she slumps on the sofa next to you. She watches boredly whatever you have on the TV,

"Why don't you just block him?" She asks. And to be fair, she has a point.

But you huff and shove another crisp in your mouth, whining, "Cos I'm a nosy bitch with no boundaries"

Baela sighs, pulling out her own phone and scrolling through her notifications, "As much as I love you y/n, this is pathetic, even for you"

You'd be offended if she wasn't completely right. And you know she's only half joking so you just shrug.

"How was Rhaena?" You ask.

"Yeah fine, usual shit with Dad. Oh I didn't tell you-" she starts.

She has that glint in her eye which spells trouble. She's got gossip and you raise your eyebrows in anticipation.

"Hold that thought, wine first?"

"Obviously"

After giggling and waltzing over to the counter to pour two glasses of the finest box wine you could get for under seven English pounds, you hand her one and wait almost too excitedly for her to spill whatever sweet gossip she has.

She sips it, almost like she needs the liquid courage to begin, and she hisses at the sweet, acidic taste.

"God that's foul" 

"It was 2 for 1!" You retort with a laugh, but she is right, it does taste foul, "Stop stalling, tell me tell me tell me" 

She looks at you as if to say bitch, you are not fucking ready.

“Dad’s married Rhaenyra” 

The force of which your jaw drops open is almost comical. You’d guessed for a while that they were at least fucking, but to just elope?!

“I need money, cos I betted on this shit happening!” 

“Oh my gosh, Rhaena was fucking hysterical. Jace and Luke aren’t surprised at all, but Alicent is beside herself in the family group chat, it should honestly be a reality TV show” Baela says scrolling through said group chat. From what you can see without being too nosy, is that there’s a lot of long paragraphs and angry emojis.

“What about Viserys, surely he’s…” you ask, trailing off to sip the pissy wine in your hands.

“Oh no, he’s thrilled. Which pisses Alicent off even more if that’s possible”

“Baela I think your Uncle’s gone insane” you bite your lip to stifle a laugh.

“No fucking kidding”

You slump back onto the sofa, “Holy shit, I am a genius. I knew the whole time” you say, smirking in victory.

“And so humble too” Baela gives a sarcastic grin which you return.

“How do you feel about it?”

Baela shucks her phone onto the coffee table, sighing, “Not bothered, we’re all adults now, so it hardly makes a difference to me. Suppose it’ll get Dad to stop bringing back random women now” she says exasperated, “but Rhaenyra gets the impression we’re all really bothered so she’s invited us all to a retreat for a week. Think she just wants to butter us up for marrying our Dad”

“Oh? Anywhere nice?”

Baela looks over, giving you a wearied look.

“What?”

“Well that brings me to you”

“Oh god, what” you ask, dropping the tone to emphasise the seriousness of the talk all of a sudden.

Baela fiddles with the remote, in an attempt to appear cute, “Well~ There’s a spare ticket going and you’re my bestest friend. And I would hate to endure a week of watching my Dad eat Rhaenyra’s face off, so come with me please?” she begs.

You sigh, “Baela usually I would love to sponge off you like that but-”

“Pleasepleaseplease~” she begs, “Rhaena’s bringing her boyfriend and we’re basically together!” 

You fake a gagging sound.

“Oh come on, a week on a beach in bikinis,sweltering weather with as many cocktails as you can hold isn’t exactly torture”

You give her an incredulous look, opening your arms to emphasise all the bags of junk food around you, “Do I look beach body ready to you?!”

“Oh fuck off, you’re hot and have an ass that can keep the world fed” 

“I know I am hot, I just don’t feel hot” you stare blankly at the TV, trying to ignore her and stuff another crisp into your mouth.

Baela sighs, “I was just thinking it would be a nice distraction, that’s all” 

“I want to it’s just…” you start, trying to think of the right words, “...I don’t feel my best”

Baela gives you a playful slap on your arm, “Look, forget your ex, he’s dumb as fuck and it’s not solving anything by staying inside with the curtains drawn all day. If you want to feel better, might be worth taking care of yourself a bit, hm?” 

Fuck her, you think, rolling your eyes, she’s right.

You hate how often she’s right. Because she gets that look on her face when she is. Always has done.

“How about that gym membership you’ve not used since February?” she asks,

“Okay firstly, ouch. Secondly, I realised I don’t know the first thing about how to work out in a gym, besides the guys there were…weird”

You shudder at the thought. It was January and so all the new year’s resolution guys were at it in full swing, using the gym as a means to try and pick up girls. And since graduating you find that more often than not the guys who hit on you were students. Maybe it was different now?

Baela pokes her cheek with her tongue, racking her brain.

“One of my cousins is a personal trainer? I could text him to see if he’s happy to take you on. Mates rates” she smiles.

You side-eye her hard. You’ve heard briefly about her cousins. Some of the stories are a bit more…eccentric than others. And even though you’ve never met them, you’ve heard enough stories to satisfy your curiosity. 

“This isn’t the manwhore cousin, right? Because if it is then no” 

She scoffs, “No. Aegon hasn’t set food in a gym since graduating and he only went cos it was free. The personal trainer one is Aemond. He’s a bit…anti-social?” she pulls a face when she says it.

“He’s anti-social and he’s a personal trainer?” you ask, eyebrow raised, “makes so much sense”

Baela scrolls through her contacts, “Yeahhh. Don’t worry though, he’s just grumpy” she explains, “want me to text him?”

Your head falls to the edge of the sofa in a huff. You want to go and on top of that, it might be nice to finally have a break. That and you’d love to shove it in your exes face when he sees you’re on holiday looking your hottest. 

“How long ‘til the holiday?”

Baela grins victoriously, “A month and a bit. He does a month course for stuff like this, I can ask him about it”

What the fuck am I getting myself into, you think briefly.

Fuck it.

“Fine”

The force at which Baela’s nails tap against the screen is almost desperate.

Baela snorts a laugh at the message and turns her phone to show you the messages.

“He seems lovely” you roll your eyes sarcastically.

“Like I said, he’s just grumpy. He’ll be professional though” she says.

You sigh, crushing the empty bag of crisps in your hands.

“Can’t wait” 

After following him on instagram, you did a bit of shameless stalking. You’d heard a little bit about Aemond from Baela talking about her family, but he seemed the most mysterious out of all of them (save for the youngest whose name she struggled to even remember). 

He had very little photos of himself, mainly progress pictures of other clients he’s helped. And he seems to be pretty successful so far. A girl with a similar body to you managed to get toned on his one-month program and looked hot afterwards, so you had some high hopes that it was possible for you as well. But you did wonder what he looked like. There were only two photos where he was in frame, and he’d been tagged by another person, looking away from the camera.

From what you could see, he was very tall, lithe and slim but built, with silver hair that had been pulled up into a bun. Ah, so he’s a man-bun type of guy. Yikes. 

Unfortunately, the photo showed very little of his face, so you couldn’t be too nosy.

You sent a very brief message, introducing yourself, trying not to cringe at the idea that he might be doing the exact same stalking to your instagram right at this moment. A shiver went up your spine at the thought. 

It’s only when you’re in TKMaxx with Baela, shopping for gym gear the next day, that you finally get a reply from him. 

“What do you think of just wearing a sports bra?” Baela says, eyeing up a black shirt.

You’re too busy staring at the message, “Hm? Oh, I’d just go in gym leggings and a bra yeah. Just got a reply from your mysterious cousin”

Baela hops over, “What’s he said? Nothing bad I hope” she grins.

 You show her the screen.

Baela raises her eyebrows, “Very formal. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised” she says, seeming surprised that he’s at least cordial.

“It’s very ‘serial-killer-esque’ of him not to have a profile picture” you joke, locking your phone again.

Baela picks out a black gym set. Black leggings with a mesh pocket on the side for your phone and a black sports bra. You nod, “Yeah looks good to me”

“Oh please you’re gonna look hot in this” she smirks, leading you over to the counter to pay.

She rewards you for your efforts by driving you to McDonald's drive-thru. A send off to junk-food so to speak.

And when Monday rolls around, you nod in the mirror. She was right, it does look hot on you. At least in the safety of your flat where there’s nobody to look at you. In a gym, surrounded by other fit people and a personal trainer you’ve never met? It might feel slightly different.

There’s a faint swirl of anxiety in your gut but you pull your trainers on, grab a hair tie from your nightstand and drive to the gym you’ve agreed to meet at. Luckily it’s your local gym, large and packed to the brim with some good equipment at least. And you briefly wonder what kind of workouts you’ll be doing before pulling into the car park.

You see him as soon as you enter the gym. He’s very tall, slender but muscular and fucking gorgeous. What the fuck, is all you can think when you shamelessly scan him from head to toe. Like the pictures, he has his long silver hair in a bun, with a few pieces having come free and falling around his face. His legs are miles long in the black sweats he’s wearing, as well as the black top that sticks a bit too snugly to his front and shoulders, making your mouth water a bit.

And you can’t help but admire his side profile, how his jaw just so naturally and sharply juts into his chin. How his cheekbones sit so prominently and high on his face, framing his features. His sharp, defined nose. And you can’t see from here because he’s looking down at his phone, but his eyelashes are unnaturally long for a man. It’s just unfair, frankly.

Shaking yourself briefly from the trance you were in, you right yourself and approach him.

He looks up to see you before you even have a chance to open your mouth. Now that he's looking at you face on, you can see the shocking blue of his right eye and the paler, soft hue of the other. Not only that but the angry scar that ran down the side of his face, extending from his forehead to the mid part of his cheek, straight through the eye.

You look at it for a split second, surmising that perhaps he's partially sighted or blind in that eye. But you choose not to say anything and instead smile with an awkward wave.

"Hey, you must be Aemond"

He openly drags his eyes over you, from head to toe, just like you did a moment ago without his knowledge. But now that you're standing right in front of him, in the gym gear that you totally don't feel a bit self conscious in, it feels a bit weird.

He doesn't reply for a moment.

"I'm y/n" you say, forcing a smile to your nervous face.

"Hm" he responds lowly, "Baela's friend" 

You pull an awkward face and nod.

You feel so stupidly small against this absolute giraffe of a man and you daren't step forward any more, for fear of looking even smaller under his judgemental and indifferent gaze.

He sighs and gestures for you to follow him, seeming disinterested as he looks down at his phone. For a brief second you wonder how this guy keeps his clients if he's this rude, but you shake the thought away, not wanting to judge too quickly.

He leads you into one of the consultation rooms, separate from the rest of the gym. He sits on one of the seats, sighing as if he's had the hardest day in the world and taking a swig of water from his bottle.

Sat across from him, you feel a bit small under his gaze. He's quite intimidating, you now find.

"Have you ever worked out before" he asks flatly.

You shrug, "I've tried I guess, but never super seriously" you laugh awkwardly, but he doesn't return it.

He runs his eyes over you again, as if to say yeah I can see that.

"Stand up. Shoes off. We're going to take your weight and measurements" he orders, going to his bag to grab some things.

It's beyond awkward and quiet in the room with him as he idly takes down your weight, height and current eating habits, which you've had to be more honest about than you'd cared to admit.

Standing in the middle of the room, he twirls his measuring tape on his fingers. He measures your upper body first, which isn't too bad until he gets to your bust. You try and look anywhere else in the room while he measures across it, his fingers landing softly at either arm, taking a note of the measurement. You internally scold yourself, he is so much taller and surely must be able to see right down the sports bra. It only serves to make your face heat up with embarrassment.

If that wasn't enough, he gets to your lower body, measuring your hips and then thighs. He gets to his knees to do it and you resist the urge to pull your hands into fists at the proximity of him to your intimate area, separated only by a thin pair of gym leggings and underwear.

He doesn't seem to bother himself with the awkwardness. And every time you look at his face, he seems indifferent, bored even. Even then, his face is unnaturally beautiful, even with the scar.

He must really not like people.

Aemond sighs having taken all his notes.

"We'll do one training session and see how much weight we can do" he instructs. You nod.

"I expect you to be in the gym four times a week, three in the week and once at the weekend. We'll do one session together a week so I can check your progress" 

His tone is so flat, all you can do is nod. He looks at you,

"Got it?" 

Your cheeks heat up, "Um, yeah"

"Good"

He leads you outside to the actual gym floor which luckily isn't too busy, side-eyeing you massively when you pull your hair up into a ponytail to get it off your neck.

His large form leads you over to where the mats are kept, haphazardly throwing two to the floor.

He doesn't say anything past one or two word commands and it's incredibly difficult to not look in the mirror in front of you to watch him as he stretches. The way he stretches his arms over his head and it lifts the hem of his shirt a little, showing his happy trail, biceps rippling.

And when he does leg stretches, instructing you to do the same, you can't help but stare at how his thighs are basically bulging out from his sweats. It takes all of your strength and will to not look any higher than that towards his hips.

He watches your form as you try and copy him stretching. And your heart almost leaps into your chest when he uses his hand to move your ankle slightly, so that you put pressure on a certain muscle. But he focuses completely, professional.

Fuck, be professional.

All caution is thrown completely to the wind when he gets you on machines. He demonstrates some of them first, starting with the so-called 'easier' ones, like the inner and outer thigh machines that look way too…suggestive.

Of course, he's got it on a ridiculous weight to demonstrate which makes you scoff a bit. And when you get on the inner thigh machine, it locks into place with your legs spread. You thank every god there is that there's no mirror in front of you on this machine.

"You have to start with your legs spread as much as possible" he states simply, pushing the pads against your legs even further. It makes your eyes widen, sinful thoughts pop up in your head. But before they take root you shake them away.

It's ridiculously hard the first few times and he raises an eyebrow.

"Really?" He mocks a bit, the tiniest of smirks on his face "you're only on 14kg" 

"Fuck off" you mutter under your breath. He tuts and changes it to 9kg, bruising your ego a bit. But you finish the set nonetheless.

You think he's a bit of a psycho, because after that little remark he has you on every leg machine available. Making fun every time you have to be on the lowest weight.

After the session, you're aching in places you didn't even know existed and you haven't even rested yet. Knowing full well you'll be achy as fuck tomorrow and even wlrse than right now. The faintest sheen of sweet is visible on your pinkened chest.

"You're weaker than I thought" 

He runs his long fingers through his hair and you want to slap that stupid fucking self-indulgent look off his smug face seeing you all out of puff like this.

"Thanks, means a lot" you say sarcastically, drinking from a water bottle. He raises an eyebrow at the attitude.

"I'll send you your workout plan. If you have any issues do me a favour and don't bother me with them" he retorts.

"Charming" you mutter under your breath once he's gone past you. You watch as he walks away, briefly appreciating his broad shoulders, until the sour taste of his poor behaviour settles in. And you huff, texting Baela immediately.

You curse every god there is that you drive a manual car, because right now the thought of having your aching leg pressing on the clutch pedal might actually drive you to mass-murder.

This is going to be a long month.

Taglist: @mrsgrwy @lovelykhaleesiii

[mylittleredgirl]

i always sing the praises of having a beta reader if you want that sort of thing, but actually there are two separate fic-editor types:

alpha reader: just fucking uncritically loves your work. #1 fan. fully obsessed with the pairing you're writing to the exclusion of all good sense. might correct a comma or two but they are there to tell you that you are amazing and that you have never done anything wrong in your life and you should post that shit immediately. you ask them "does this part work?" and they say yes before the question is fully out of your mouth. the golden retriever of writing friends. every writer 100% needs one of these in their back pocket.

pros: THE best preemptive defense against the gaping chasm of self-doubt between "post work" and the first kudos.

cons: this is the reason why sometimes you see a fic that has eight beta readers thanked in the author's notes and the main character's name spelled wrong.

beta reader™️: these friends also fucking love your work, but the way they want to love it is to stick their fingers in your fic like a fruit bin at the grocery store and gently squeeze your characters (and commas) to see if they're ripe.

a good beta reader will copy edit your fic, notice if you've used the same sentence three times, and let you know if your sex scenes seem to contain the intended number of dicks per person.

a great one will highlight for you what's unique and wonderful about your writing, will help you problem-solve and plot through long fic, and will lovingly bug the shit out of you with how did she get here? and would he really say that? and is this what you meant? and when you say "oh shit no it isn't" their eyes light up and they go OKAY! let's figure this out!!!

more of a border collie kind of situation.

pros: the best way to polish your fic and grow as a fic writer. in my experience, it's also an incredible way to work through impostor syndrome. knowing someone you respect has been all up in your fic's junk and still says "it's great and you're great, now post it!" is a game-changer.

cons: if they show you what's not working, you're probably going to have to take time to fix it :/

caveats: not everyone who wants to give constructive feedback can deliver it in a way that works for everyone, so if the experience ends up making you feel bad, this is not a good match! it's also VERY helpful to tell your beta reader what level of editing you're looking for. if someone asks "can you give this a quick once-over before i post?" i know they want me to look for obvious mistakes and reassure them that it's post-worthy. if you ask me to "rip it apart" i'm going in there with a fine tooth comb.

(the primary motivation of both of these editor breeds is, of course, that they want you to write more and they want to read it before everyone else.)

bonus mode:

specialty reader: sensitivity readers and subject matter experts! if you are lucky enough to find and motivated enough to use one of these, their job is not to look at commas or to tell you that you're great, but to give advice on something specific in your fic.

edit: check the reblogs for a correction! turns out “alpha reader” is a pre-existing term in some circles for someone who helps you during the process, a lot like the great beta-reader i described above. taking suggestions for renaming my version of the alpha reader above. i’m thinking “hype man.”

[jermasubtitledofficial]

Hi everyone, I'm the official subtitle editor for 2ndJerma and Jerma Stream Archive. I've been working to make Jerma985's videos more accessible through closed captions and subtitles. Jerma985 videos are subtitled regularly. You can view the definitive playlist of them here:

I also provide play-by-play updates on Twitter (@JermaSubtitled) to keep you informed on when and which videos have captions finalized and published.

Subtitling is a labor-intensive task that requires a lot of time and effort, but it's worth it to make sure that everyone can enjoy Jerma's content. However, I don't receive official compensation for my work. (writing, reviewing and editing captions) Without official pay, it can be difficult to justify the time I put into managing subtitles. That's why I'm reaching out to the community for support.

If you appreciate the effort I put into providing subtitles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. You can join for as low as $3/month, and all proceeds go towards continuing to make Jerma's videos accessible. If you'd like to give a one-time tip instead, you can do so here. Every little bit helps and is greatly appreciated. Your funding is 100% responsible for keeping Jerma985 subtitles running.

I understand that not everyone is in a position to contribute financially, and that's okay! Just spreading the word and letting others know that these subtitles exist and are available is a huge help. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. With your help, we can do a great service for YouTube accessibility.

Up next, a recap of what happened in March 2023:

I update interested parties each month about what's been added, and I'll start posting them here if there's sufficient interest, plus any additional musings. So here's the recap from March:

The community has provided so many submissions I'm nearly overwhelmed! I have a lot to review. Every caption will be published, it's just a matter of time. Those not present have been added to the queue.

First, overlap from February is SCORN by me, Erasmus Magnus. It highlights an interesting conundrum of subtitling: how to intuitively portray something said for a deaf/HOH audience, in this case a filtered voice. Feedback I received including that of @maplecaster led to the final result, and I think it works tremendously well.

Second, we have The Short Sniper by community regular, kitpigeon. Short and sweet, high-quality subs for one of Jerma's low-profile videos. Great job.

Next, we have Receding Randy transcribed by @maplecaster. This was some fine stuff. I'm embarrassed how long it took me to sync it, but that's only because I'm something of a perfectionist. I try to limit the time sink, but I want the best for the subtitles, and it only makes sense to polish the time to be as good as the text content.

After that, we have an absolute classic in the form of Grab that Grotto 5—no relation to Grotto Beasts—by @graysaregay. Well done on this. I did some executive editing for some tricky stuff like the text-to-speech voice. I'm really glad this ol' classic nearing a million has captions now.

And finally, italoplumber has provided a German translation of The Max Cow Capacity Compulsion. Never would've guessed he was popular in DACH countries, but I suppose it makes sense. It's in his name. Willkommen in Jermany.

And that's it! If you want to see more about official Jerma985 subtitles, including musings and related information, consider following! And again, play-by-play updates can be found on Twitter at @JermaSubtitled.

[myimaginedcorner]

SCALES OF JUSTICE - BETA-BOOK CLOSED, DEMO ESTABLISHED AND FINAL STAGE BEGUN

At last, we're here, my dear reader. After more than two years of sweat and tears, you and I are witnesses to this book's full release, the end that lays foundations to the fresh beginning of a bigger journey. I cannot express just how grateful I am to everyone who's been supporting me throughout this time, to each who wrote their lovely messages and useful advise that helped me keep improving with my every chapter. The road ahead doesn't look long, now - there's only some re-writing left, and then, I'm submitting this project to the judgement of Hosted Games. If we're lucky, this is but a step in a story that has not yet seen its rightful end.

FULL BETA-BOOK IS NOW UNAVAILABLE: A DEMO VERSION HAS BEEN ENABLED UP TO CHAPTER 5.

Now that the long weekend has ended, I'll begin with my thorough re-read of the book, a re-write of some sloppy scenes and a proper check of stats and their effect on your experience, to make sure this game is enjoyable and worthy to be officially released. I thank you all again for your patience, for your support and love - I'll do my best to bring you a good final product.

As usual, I welcome any feedback, for my beta-tester is becoming a woman of Science (I've also slightly broken her with a Baldur's Gate 3 obsession). If you have any issues, recommendations, or comments in general about my work, feel free to text me here or make a post in CoG forum, where I will be answering you to the best of my capabilities. I tried my best to bring this update quickly - I checked for bugs, but I'm always very grateful for any help!

KNOWN BUGS:

Sometimes, the image for Chapter 5's title doesn't appear at the beggining of the chapter. I'm unsure why, and thus the bug still persists.

DEMO DESCRIPTION:

Scales of Justice is a fantasy game situated in another world, far away from Earth. There are plenty of species living together in harmony, but the human race is currently split in two civilisations: the one known as Hero kingdom, which is ruled by ‘heroes’, and the one named Vannais kingdom, controled by ‘villains’. Both nations hate each other and the fight between ‘heroes’ and ‘villains’ here is something that happens on a national level. The game is focused on lore, on character development and your own perception of reality: perhaps, your MC just wants to live a peaceful life... or maybe wants to save the world.

Or even rule it, if you’re into such things.

THINGS TO DO IN THIS DEMO:

Set off on a new adventure towards Neutral Lands, to meet a mythic creature of all answers - The Visionary.

Gather up to 3 companions to help you in your quest - befriend, romance or rival them, the choice is yours.

Buy a horse - we know you want one.

Fight, conjure, support, speak or think - choose your way of handling a tricky situation.

Explore the kingdom of Hero up to Menai's shore, in search for someone - or something - to aid you in your journey.

The DEMO version of the book runs up to Chapter 5 and contains 276K words overall. I will be putting up updated versions of the first chapters as I work my way through them, so expect the DEMO version to become a polished reflection of what the final book will look like!

USEFUL LINKS:

If you want to know a little more about this project and read chapters 1-5, I'll leave the link to the game here -> https://dashingdon.com/play/myimaginedcorner/scales-of-justice/mygame/

If you want to discuss anything on CoG's forum, I'll leave the link for SoJ here -> https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-scales-of-justice-new-project-announcement-and-demo-release/101088/16

If you want to send me a more extensive feedback, here's my email -> feedbackscalesofjustice@gmail.com

Any mistakes, concerns or questions you have, feel free to contact me through Tumblr! I am very excited to share this story with all of you, and I want to make it as good as possible with your help!

RO DESCRIPTIONS:

Shoren/Seile -> Heir to the Hero kingdom's throne, right where your journey starts. Also, your old friend who's very attached to you. Likes to read and practices magic, enjoys adventure and heroic deeds. A recognised “hero”, with blonde curly hair, pale skin and a pair of beautiful blue eyes.

Robert/Reina -> Order's Paladin, defender of Hero and Knight of Fate. Brave and honourable, determined to protect the people of the kingdom. Very loyal to friends and very dangerous as an enemy. Has short brown hair, tanned skin and an athletic build.

Valerius/Venis -> An Outworlder, who was caught by cultists from the Wicked Woods. Gracious, elegant and charismatic. Has long dark brown hair with a silver streak, olive skin and golden eyes.

Arion/Aria -> Leader of Vannais, a recognised “villain” who escaped from Hero and now rules the enemy kingdom. Serious, reserved but temperamental. Prefers action over words and so is always present on battlefields and amidst negotiations, even though never in official manner. Has short blonde hair, pale skin and emerald eyes.

Be careful! These characters have their thoughts and opinions on the world and your actions: if you want them to support you, convince them or take their side… or neither. That is your choice after all!

[stxrvel]

we need to talk (5)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: bucky thought he'd had a good day, until some kind of information started to appear from every corner.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +2k

warning: some bad words and confusion

note: hello!! i had this chapter planned for about a month now, and really just had to polish some things so it could be published. i made some time into my night time to finish this writing and editing so i could published it soon, and it's finally done! im also half asleep bc it's past midnight and i have to wake up early tomorrow morning, so i hope you guys like this part! feedback is always appreciated!!💜

masterlist | next | series masterlist

Bucky didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing that you had stood in front of him that morning and told him you were going for a walk around town, alone, just like that. As a good husband who went through a catastrophic event that almost made him lose the love of his life, he wanted to object, almost that his instincts begged him on its knees because he didn't want to risk losing sight of you in a place with so many possible dangers. But it was true that Bucky couldn't deny you anything, and even if he had tried it would have remained just that, an attempt. He just made sure to remind you to call him if anything happened.

And Bucky really wanted to stay true to his word not to follow you… Bucky really tried to stay seated in front of the big TV in front of his bed in one of the rooms in the Complex, with nice warm weather, soda and food on the nightstand, with the most comfortable pillows he could have ever touched…

But after all he had been through, he was no longer willing to take any chances.

So he left, within minutes of your departure, on tiptoe as if he were in a silent movie. He was trying not to intrude too much, just to look over his shoulder at you to make sure you were safe. Bucky knew you were capable of taking care of yourself if a dangerous situation had to arise, but he felt unable to just stay in the Complex waiting for you to arrive. It was what he had to do, but it wasn't what he wanted to do. And surely if you found out you would be angry, and Bucky would apologize for it, but he wouldn't regret it. He didn't like to think he would become that kind of person, but after the accident and spending over a year watching over you and making sure your surroundings were safe, it was hard to let go of that sense of security and give way to the uncertainty of the unknown.

He glanced at the time on his watch as you entered a sparsely populated coffee shop. It was already past five o'clock. He twisted his lips. He didn't think he was going to lose track of time. He had agreed with himself that morning not to go past three in the afternoon because Steve had asked him to meet him in the main room of the Complex to talk about something. He wasn't really specific about it, which he definitely had to have done to get his attention, only mentioning that Tony and Natasha would also be present. Looking at his watch, Bucky wondered if he'd really missed something important.

He sniffed around inside the cafeteria to find you sitting almost at the back of the store, with a muffin that appeared to be chocolate and a white milkshake on the table. You silently watched the table as you ate. You seemed to enjoy the little things in life. That brought a smile to his face.

It was then that he saw you pull your cell phone out of the brown trench coat you were wearing that day, one that Bucky had once given you.

You held your cell phone to your ear and Bucky was gnawing with curiosity as to who you were calling at that moment. Had you agreed to meet someone or…?

His thoughts came to a screeching halt when he felt his cell phone vibrate inside his pocket. Why were you calling him? He frowned when he saw your name on the screen.

“Yes?” Bucky spoke as he answered.

“Are you just going to stand there for the rest of the afternoon?”

Bucky quirked his eyebrows. When he turned to peer inside the cafeteria, you were already looking at him. Bucky felt the heat rush across his face and a shiver run through his body, but he remained impassive. At what point had you noticed? He couldn't remember the last time something like that had happened to him when he was with you before the accident. Mind you, you were very good at controlling your environment. The poor guy tried to put that out of his head as too many memories of the past started bombarding him.

“Come in,” you spoke again before he could respond or think of anything else. “I want to talk to you about something.”

Bucky didn't grumble. Hanging up the call, he walked at a slyly agitated pace into the shop and approached at a steady pace towards where you were waiting for him. His eyes roaming the way your chin was resting on your interlocked hands, your elbows comfortable on the table, watching him approach as if he was the only person inside that coffee shop. Bucky felt his chest heaving.

“YN, I'm really sorry-”

“You don't have to apologize. Honestly, I was hoping you'd come.”

Even though he knew he should, Bucky hadn't expected that response. Smart girl.

“What? Really?”

“Mhm”

"Why?"

“I figured you couldn't help yourself.”

Bucky snorted barely audibly that, had he not had a woman with her full concentration on him, he surely wouldn't have noticed. He moved his eyes away from her, towards the wall with greenish paint on it, and as much as he wanted to deny it, he was glad to hear you brag as you did before.

“You guessed right.”

When Bucky came back to see you, you had a nice tight-lipped smile adorning your face. He wanted to believe that you had done all that drama all day just to have him as a baby duckling behind you, to admire from afar and know that you would have him by your side in less than a second if need be. But it was impossible for him to overlook the dark circles under your eyes. Bucky knows you so well, he knows you are a person whose dream is a saint. Having dark circles under your eyes that decorate the color of your skin is not something Bucky would stop paying attention to, even if he wanted to continue living in his little bubble.

“So what's that you want to talk about?”

You did not hesitate at his question, at the change of the subject. You were still in the same position, with your head on your hands and your gaze averted, immersed in various thoughts that Bucky wanted to dissipate like fog. What little sparkle your eyes had taken on during that short conversation had faded and given way to a strange sense of unease.

“Do you know if I… used to have powers?”

Bucky pondered your question far more than he would have liked to admit. He had imagined this conversation hundreds of times before, but come the moment in real life, face to face, it became much more unreal for those words to come out of your mouth than when they did inside his head. His face did not twitch or stutter as he responded. His expression only showed curiosity.

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

“Why no one ever told me?"

The man took a deep breath.

“Well, I wanted to and had planned to. But the doctor who was treating you back then told me it was best to wait for you to recover the memories on your own. When that didn't happen, he told me to just find the best time to do it. Then, well, I guess I was still holding out a sliver of hope that you would remember something because every day I woke up expecting to hear you call me to tell me something. Evidently that didn't happen either. When I finally made the decision to tell you, the incident happened, and the next day you had no memory of anything.”

I was hoping you would remember.

“And now?“”

“Now… I hadn't thought about it too much these past few days, between the agitation of knowing what happened and the frustration of hopelessness. But I guess I was hoping for a good time, too. I'm sorry. You deserved to know.”

Forgetting wasn't an option, Bucky knew. And he wasn't going to blame you if you hated him for it now. It was something that was a part of you, a piece of your identity, and how he was able to overlook it was inconceivable. Before, maybe he could understand it, because the accident was so recent and forcing you to remember anything could have caused some permanent damage. After that, when you were beginning to be more open to him and seemed willing, the horrors began again. Bucky wanted to say that he had had an excuse, but the truth was that he had no right to keep that in his head…

“Don't worry.”

The man arched his eyebrows, but watching your expression he realized that he was giving the matter more thought than you should be doing. It seemed like you had barely even heard what he had said.

“Why do you ask?”

Silence answered his words. Bucky remained quiet, detailing the riddle you had for a face. He didn't know what that was all about. The walk, being waiting for him, that question about your powers? Something was definitely cooking, but unlike how Bucky thought the situation would be when it came about, you didn't seem too happy to find out.

“How do I know you're honest with me?”

That question caught him off guard. He even moved back a little, closer to the back of the chair, his face scowling.

“I'm always honest with you. I would never lie to you.”

“Under any circumstances?”

“No.”

“Not even for my own sake?”

“No. What's the point of this, YN?”

Bucky watched your chest constrict with each breath in. The atmosphere became tense from one moment to the next, so dense that he could almost feel the air choking him. He wanted to stay focused on the moment, but besides the suspense of the situation, he was disgruntled to think that you really had to deliberate so much in your mind to trust him…

“I think… I think I remembered something.”

The spasm that ran through his body felt like nothing compared to the short-circuit his head was going through. Had he really heard what he had just heard? He blinked shortly, a ringing in his ears becoming the great protagonist of that act, with a trembling body and a frightened mind. He was afraid to speak and the moment would slip through his fingers.

“What?” he barely mumbled.

“I think I had a memory, or two, but I'm not sure.”

“Why?”

Bucky watched you fidget anxiously on the chair, your gaze on anything, any object or person, but him. Your eyes were on everything but him.

“It didn't look like I was seeing it from my point of view. It looked like… a movie.”

Not letting fear dominate his body, Bucky leaned back in his chair and watched you intently. Your anxious movements gave away that what you were telling him had kept you awake, possibly, all night. And yet you waited so long to tell him.

“It was a place where, surely, there was a battle. And there was Natasha, Tony, Carol and Stephen Strange.”

“You know Strange?” Bucky frowned. He couldn't remember seeing him for months. Since the accident, rather.

“I saw him recently.”

Bucky nodded slightly, and made a mental note of it.

“Okay. So what was going on in the memories you saw?”

“First it looked like they were in the middle of the battle. Stephen, Natasha and Tony. But then it looked like it was all over, and there were all of them with Carol.”

“Okay.”

“Do you know if before my accident they all had a mission together?”

Bucky sighed, evoking. Before that accident happened, Bucky had spent a good bit of time in the medical wing. Before and during that situation, Bucky had an injury that kept him out in the field for quite some time, and because of that he missed quite a few things regarding the team. Of course, you were constantly keeping him informed, and the information from that day was definitely clear in his head still. Despite that, even though he knew he should remember, he still had questions about what had happened that day. He used to mix some memories of that day with memories of other days nearby, but some things he could remember clearly. He just had to strain a little to remember and…

“There were several occasions when a large group of the team had to leave at the same time. And the people you mention are very few. There were probably more people.”

“But I didn't see anyone else.”

Bucky sighed. Your disgruntled face filled all his worries and his instincts were geared to get rid of that excess stress on your face. Bucky didn't like to talk about that day anymore, but he didn't plan on keeping anything from you from now on.

“The last time they went out on a mission, which was the time you had the accident, it was Steve, Tony, Natasha, Wanda, Clint, Carol and they called in Strange as backup.”

“You didn't go?”

Bucky shook his head.

“I'd been hurt. Shoulder. It wasn't too serious, healed soon after. But the recommendation was harsh: no missions. So I couldn't go on that one.”

Then, finally, you could look him in the eye. Bucky felt the fog lifting and could see more clearly. Your silence accompanied him in his torment and in his haystack of memories. He wanted to know what was going through your head as you had such a sweet, soft expression unlike how you had been just seconds ago when you murmured, “Maybe it was for the best.”

Heart afloat, Bucky shook his head slightly.

“Do you think your memory is about that last mission?”

Your eyes were still on his, and they stayed that way for another couple of seconds until the fog flooded back into his field of vision.

“Maybe… in the memory they were talking about something that had gone wrong.”

“The accident.”

“Yes. But if that was the case, then it's not my memory, is it?”

Right. Bucky now understood why you were hesitating so much between all your words. You were walking on too unfamiliar ground.

“Ah, I understand. That's why you doubted it was a memory.”

“Yes! Because it doesn't make sense for me to remember something I wasn't present for, if at the time all that was happening I was hurt.”

“Definitely. But then how did that come to you?”

Bucky noticed the doubt on your face, as crystalline as the gleam of glass.

“YN, did something else happen?”

“I told you I saw Strange. The day I met him, I had those images in my head. He just walked past me, but it was as if his gaze triggered everything that happened afterwards.”

“So he caused this.”

“I think so.”

Bucky nodded, but he sensed there was more to it, the way you pursed your lips, fidgeted on the chair, and avoided his gaze. You'd been doing all that for as long as you'd been telling him things, but when you finally told him something, at the end, he could stare at you, and that's when Bucky knew you'd gotten it all out. But now…

“We need to talk to them, then.”

“What?”

“Let's go and talk. Surely there's a reason behind that.”

“But what if they're lying? What if they wouldn't have done it with a good intention?”

“I don't think so. I mean, I've known them for quite a while and I know the relationships you had with them, and I know they wouldn't do anything on purpose to hurt you.”

Bucky noticed the glint of fear in your eyes and it was contagious. He doubted his own words then. There was something else…

“Y/N-”

He moved his hands from his lap, where he kept them constantly hidden, and tried to bring them closer to yours on the table, but your reflexes were more skillful and before you could have any hint of contact, you disappeared from his physical field. Unable to keep your gaze on his, Bucky understood that he should not insist any longer. He leaned back on the chair again and waited for something… anything.

“I'll think about it.”

“YN…”

“I'm going now. You don't have to follow me, it won't be long before I'm back at the Complex.”

“Hey,” Bucky couldn't stop his mouth, but when he caught your attention and your eyes were on his, he didn't risk stopping. “You know you can trust me, right? Of all the people on this planet, you can trust me with anything. I know you don't remember anything about me or what we went through together, but I swear I'm willing to do anything, anything at all, if you only ask. I'm on your side, always, that's never going to change, okay?”

Bucky still saw the haze, but he felt hopeful. A slight nod from you without looking away was more than enough answer for all his inner doubts.

Within seconds, you left the cafeteria.

-

Bucky soon returned to the Complex after that talk, increasingly eager to confront Steve. He had more questions than he should have, although the information you had shared with him was not in the big picture a great revelation.

Except for Stephen Strange. That was unusual.

Steve Rogers was right where he said he would be waiting for him at three o'clock that day. Next to him, Natasha Romanoff sprawled over part of the L-shaped couch in the middle of the large room of the Complex. Bucky barely caught a glimpse of Steve's shoulders moving before he acknowledged his presence.

“Bucky,” his friend greeted him, turning around to observe him. Natasha from her position raised her head, and straightened up on the seat in quick movements.

He walked a little further into the room, with the gaze of his two friends of work on him, watching him so carefully that he soon felt like a cornered gazelle.

No. No, no, no, no, no. The ones who should be cornered should have been them.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

Steve shared a none-too-disguised complicit look with Natasha before answering:

“Well, we could wait until we're complete to start-”

“I don't care that Stark isn't here. You are here. So tell me,” Bucky retorted, clasping his hands. “What did you guys want to talk about?”

He stressed each word heavily, reminding them that he was a man of little patience at the right times.

“It's a touchy subject,” in that moment, Natasha spoke up.

“All the more reason you should start talking.”

“Bucky, believe me, it's better if we're all.”

“I'm having a little trouble doing that, Steve.”

Bucky didn't do much to disguise the anger he felt at the confusion, because somehow he felt that what you had told him and what Steve had wanted to tell him were things that were better understood if he put them together. Whatever these people were willing to tell him, it definitely had to be related to what had happened to you. Steve didn't usually treat any subject with such diplomacy. And, if it was about you, it was clear that it wasn't just any subject.

“Why are you talking like that?” Steve stood up, his wary gaze on Bucky's angry face.

“Stop deflecting the subject. You hadn't made such a big deal about this meeting when you told me about it this morning. Was it always this important or did it only become relevant during the last few hours?”

“It was always important,” Steve nodded, his breathing heavy in time with his partner.

“You have no reason to be angry right now, Barnes.”

Why the fuck do they say things like that?

Natasha's voice, folded arms sitting on the armrest of the couch, brought back memories of one of the most horrible moments of his life.

“And you guys have no reason to be acting this suspicious, but see yourselves.”

“We're not acting-”

“Drop it,” Bucky interrupted Steve, and shifted his body to head for the exit of the room. “Better call me when you want to talk about something serious, like adults.”

And Bucky thought he could leave that there, maybe the subject would die and in time he'd realize he wasn't right. And it would be the first time he'd be happy he'd been wrong about something.

But the red and blue flashes that appeared in front of him as he was about to leave the room made him wish he wasn't so quick to claim victory.

Strange was standing in front of him, right at the exit of the room. His arms were crossed over his chest and his gaze was fixed on the man who continued to clasp his hands.

“He already knows,” Stephen spoke up, “Or at least part of it.”

Bucky felt a chill run through his body, not as welcome as the one he felt when you told him you'd remembered something.

“I don't want you going near her again,” Bucky almost growled through his teeth.

“Or what, Barnes, you'll stop me with your little metal hand?”

“Strange,” Natasha raised her voice.

Alluded barely let out a short laugh.

“I'm trying to help her.”

“Well, it's backfiring on you.”

“Does she remember what happened?” Steve walked over to Bucky, who gave him barely a sidelong glance.

“What the heck happened?”

Steve pursed his lips, and again shared that weird look with the other two present. Bucky was starting to get too exasperated and soon he wouldn't have as much patience and would have any more stuck up courage to take it anymore.

“I think you need to sit down to hear this.”

It was Carol Danvers who spoke, no doubt. Behind his back was her, surely with a river of people that Bucky had no desire to face at the moment. He didn't like the pace this situation was taking, nor the pace the day had taken. Why couldn't he stay in on a quiet afternoon, sipping vanilla milkshakes with chocolate muffins? Why was the world constantly taking pains to snatch away any hint of happiness from him?

“I think you've been wondering a lot of things about what happened that day for a while now,” Carol spoke again, and though Bucky really didn't want to face what seemed to be about to happen, he turned around to look at the blonde who was talking to him, with several people now filling the room.

He didn't even have to name them. He just had to remember that day, and remember how the names of each of them had come out of your mouth that day. The day that, unbeknownst to him, would be the last day he would share with his old friend joy.

“Sit. Let's talk.”

----

n/a. thank u all for reading! hope u have a great day wherever you are <3

Taglist: @cjand10 @yallgotkik @ruffdog921 @coracal @its-just-kayy @pono-pura-vida @vampiresarezombies @kaz11283 @vicmc624

[gingerylangylang1979]

Can we not be so hostile about how people write their fics?

This is partly a love letter to A03 which is being maliciously attacked.

Constructive criticism is good. But I have to say one of the things I love most about A03 is that it is such a supportive space for writers to write and share without pressure. I was a bit taken aback that there generally isn’t negative feedback. At first, I thought the glowing praise was maybe coddling and not helpful in pushing people to be better. But I was thinking from my perspective as someone who does professional writing in another capacity and is in an information science field.

But then, I realized fanfic isn’t that type of environment and A03 is the warm embrace of safety and encouragement for people to create at whatever level they are at and readers will meet them there. No, I’m not going to get the structured critique of an editor or a writing workshop instructor. But it isn’t the platform for that. And now I appreciate that. I do writing workshops when I want to fine tune a skill or learn a new approach and want the insights of other writers. But I like that my writing in social media spaces doesn’t have to be polished and perfect. I misspell things. My grammar is bad. Sometimes my flow and continuity is off. But it also yields great work because my mind is free to play without rules.

But one thing I’m noticing not on A03, but on Tumblr, is criticism of how people are writing fic for The Bear. Whether it be who are the main characters in the fic, how aligned characterizations are to canon, how people choose to describe characters emotionally or physically, what perspective someone expresses desire from, fantasizing about a character, living through a character, etc., etc.

Now, I’m not going to say some writers may not know things that are sensitive to others. Correction may be ok, but can the knowledge sharing please be less hostile? If someone is trying to write for your fave from an earnest, positive place, it’s a bit unkind to then scold about them not getting something right. Teach but don’t reprimand. Show examples of alternatives. Or hey, write from your perspective, your lived experience. That’s the best example.

For example, I got tired of never reading Sydney give a blowjob (she’s not too precious), and her never teasing Carmy about being white, and no other characters ever bringing up race aside from a side comment. I also wanted to explore Carmy’s faith tradition since we share it. But, instead of chastising other writers for not doing that, I fucking wrote it.

A03 is pretty low stakes. So there is a lot of material to read. Not all of it is going to be high quality, TO YOU. But guess what, you can read something else, you can write something else. Just try to be kind. Kindness builds community.

[tirsynni]

So the issue about the right to post criticism on people’s fics have come up again. Okay.

First off, the most obvious thing: unless the person asks for constructive criticism, be very wary about giving it. Again, please, keep in mind: this is fanfiction. This is a story typed out by a fan in their free time and posted online for others to enjoy. This isn’t a work that someone polished with the plan to publish for money. This is a fanwork posted by a fan for other fans to enjoy. Most writers I know don’t want constructive criticism. They want to engage with other fans with a medium they enjoy. “I really enjoyed this and I hope you do, too. Here’s an idea inspired by watching that scene.”

Of course, some writers do want constructive criticism. They ask right in their notes for it, which leads to my second point...

What are your credentials? When it comes to offering constructive criticism, are you confident in your skills to offer it? People tend to be, yeah... and then tell me what they would have written. “This is something I would personally enjoy and I wish you had written this instead.” “This does not match my headcanon of the character and you should have done this instead.” “You should have written the other character as the top.” None of this is constructive criticism. None of this is helping a writer improve. When these thoughts occur, instead of leaving them as a comment, consider writing the fic yourself! Seriously! Go for it! That’s the joy of fanfiction! You want to see something? You can write it yourself!

But really, what are your credentials? Do you know how to edit? Proofread? Did you take classes? Do you have a degree? In what? What’s your personal experience? Can I see your resume? Can you offer constructive criticism in a way which will improve that specific writer’s specific style? Can you help the writer tell the story they want to tell and not you? Because that is incredibly challenging. It’s easy as hell to tell someone what you would like to see in their story. It’s also the reason many writing circles and writing groups fail: too often it dissolves into “This is what I like, so you should change this” or “Well, such and such heard from such and such that this is really important for fiction.” That’s not how actual constructive criticism works. That’s not how you help a writer grow. 

“Well, if someone is writing and posting stuff online, then I have the right to criticize them.” Do you enjoy having so many free works at your fingertips? Would you like to see it happen in the future? Because while you’re free to criticize, that writer is free to stop writing. Writers don’t have to post. Writers can delete existing fics. Writers can and do give up because they are so excited to post their project online, only for multiple people to offer them “constructive criticism,” making them feel like shit, while many other people enjoy the fic but don’t bother telling the writer. 

“I have the right to tell the author what I like.” You also have the right to write your own fic. Which is probably going to be more productive?

“I have the right to tell the author their fic grosses me out.” Great. You also have the right to tell that to random people you meet in the street. Go for it. I personally value the concept of “don’t like, don’t read.” You did choose to deliberately read that fic, after all. That’s all on you. The author didn’t put a gun to your head and force you to read that work.

“I have the right to tell the author their errors.” Did they ask? Why are you so focused on the errors and not what you liked about the fic? I promise, if you tell authors what you enjoy about their fics, that will help them grow their skills far more than criticism. Getting positive feedback encourages fic writing, and practice helps the writer with those errors far more than random people on the internet.

At the end of the day, is your constructive criticism helping? And honestly, is that “constructive criticism” for the author or for you to feel proud about your awesomeness or for you to lift yourself up by belittling someone else? Before you gave the constructive criticism, did you ask the person? Did you value their opinion enough to verify that they wanted it in the first place? Fuck, did you even take the time to ask the person if they wanted a beta reader? Because if someone is happily posting their fic and they didn’t ask for help via a beta reader prior to posting, it might be because they’re more focused on the fanwork itself than grammar and the such, and that’s okay. If you can’t play around with fanfiction, with what can you play around? It’s fanfiction. No life or death seriousness to it!

Generally when someone leaves me constructive criticism, it isn’t constructive. It is that person telling me what they would have written in my shoes. You doing that isn’t going to make me write it. Hell, if people keep it up, writers might not write anything at all.

It’s very popular now to call writers greedy when they want positive comments or engagement with their fanworks. It’s also popular to defend the right to criticize the author when giving a comment. I would really prefer for these people to just write their own fic. Write what they want to see in the world. Maybe it’ll balance out all of the writers not writing because they’re getting hesitant about posting their works or feel too discouraged to even write in the first place.

[pigeonwit]

hmm for the fic title thing could u do

"the man who sold the world"

I have no idea what it would be about but tbh I love everything u write :)

i have talked about my 'davey as pulitzer's assistant' au a BIT on this account but i don't think i ever went in on what it actually entails, and this title is just perfect for it.

so the gist is, instead of getting a job selling papers, davey is somehow able to get a job as working closely for pulitzer. i don't really know how this would've happened for davey since there are very little possibilities for him to have ever gotten a job like this, so i think it majorly boiled down to luck - he just happened to be in the right place at the right time and landed a job for it. in songs like 'watch what happens (reprise)' we can see davey is idealistic, but he's not delusional; he has hope when he's given reason to have it, but he still understands what his place in society is and how best to preserve it. we can see it in act one - davey does not want to rock the boat. he would anchor the boat and starve in it if it meant just staying afloat. so i think davey would understand what an unfathomably lucky opportunity this is and, as a kid unused to luck, he doesn't want to lose it, since after his father getting injured, he is basically all that's keeping his family standing. his entire life revolves around keeping his job. he drops out of school so he can fund sarah and les's education instead. he's tired all the time so his father can afford to rest. their tiny tenement is still tiny, but at least they're warm most nights. davey doesn't make it home for dinner some nights, but who cares, he can sleep on the weekend! or when he's dead. whichever comes first.

fast forward to the day jack starts the strike - specifically, the point in 'the world will know' where he and crutchie march into pulitzer's office (sans davey and les for obvious reasons). instead of getting tossed out by a security guard, they're politely sidestepped by an unassuming kid who jack could probably knock over with a feather. he's polished, polite, has the perfect customer service type voice, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes. he looks through them like they're not even there and says 'welcome gentlemen, do you have an appointment?'. jack's barely said two words before he's barrelling on, 'oh, i'm sorry, mister pulitzer is in a meeting, can i take a memo?' they try again, but 'that's nice, the world takes feedback very seriously, i'll make sure to pass it along, thank you for your interest and good day :)'. jack's about to punch this wetrag out and run into that office himself when something shifts in this boy, turns him from some gaunt looking schoolboy into something sharper, harder, something carved out of steel - and he takes jack by his bandana and says 'listen, cowboy, i don't know what you're playing at, but either i get security to throw you out or we both lose our jobs. either way, you're out of here.' and. well. we all know about jack's famous competency kink. i think he'd become enamoured with how quickly davey went from being just a forgettable face in the background to a force to be reckoned with - i think he'd realize pretty quickly that davey's pretending just as much as jack is and would really want to bring that force out of him more and more, seeking him out to pester him and so on, thus leading to davey becoming more involved in the strike.

(i also envision a big 'pointing spiderman' moment when davey and kath meet each other through the newsies in this au. big 'i saw her at the devil's sacrament!' 'girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament??' energy)

i think 'the man who sold the world' would be a good allegory for davey's arc in this au. davey sold his whole life, his world, to pulitzer. i imagine in this au he would barely know what's going on in his family's life anymore - who knows, maybe les still turns up at the newsstand looking to buy papers out of a clumsy, childish attempt to help his brother not have to work so much, and there can be a big moment of davey arriving at the rally, seeing les, and realising oh. his brother has a whole life and davey didn't see any of it. he doesn't have any spark about him anymore, he's too bogged down by the burnout. that's why jack gets so interested in drawing out that sharpness from him he saw in their first confrontation, and why he keeps on seeking davey out - and why davey begins to seek jack out right back, becoming more involved in the strike despite his association with the world and pulitzer as he begins to believe more and more in this idea that he and every other worker does hold power over their employer. i also imagine that'd be part of pulitzer's blackmail against jack, threatening to both fire davey and blacklist him to other businessmen, making him unable to provide for his family, as well as arrest les for being part of the newsboy union. but when davey still insists on partaking in the strike and takes part in the children's crusade (and maybe convincing other workers like hannah to do the same since i imagine he'd have a close working relationship with them), he gets to see firsthand how pulitzer's office falls apart without him and sells out the company that took over his life for a better future.

thanks for the ask anon! i know the ask game said 'SHORT synopsis' but uh... lol xd i guess? i really really love this au-

ask game is here if anyone else would like to send something in!

[themswritinwords]

Mostly!

I've been in and out of doctors offices and the hospital for the past 2-3 months, which is in itself exhausting and not really conducive to writing. Add in the end-of-year holidays coming up, at least four more appointments in the next month, my child's first ever dance recital and all the prep that entails (way more than I thought), a cross-country trip to visit family, and some other personal stuff on top of all that, and I might still be a bit absent. I'm hoping by the second week of January I'll be back to some kind of routine, which hopefully means being more active here too. (Gotta build that dying-platform social media, amirite?)

But! Despite losing approximately 1/3 to 1/2 of my blood volume in the space of a month (0/10 do NOT recommend), I did actually get stuff done. Important stuff! I did DVpit on Discord, got requests, and actually got those sent out before the major hospitalization adventures. I polished up a finished manuscript and actually got it out to some beta readers. Excitingly, I also got my first two full requests ever, and got those sent off with minimal freaking out and rethinking my entire everything.

No word on the fulls yet, but the beta readers are all coming back with the same kind of feedback:

"engaging," "couldn't put it down," "hysterical," "cinematic," "powerful," and my personal favorite, "WOW." (if i had a nickel for every all-caps WOW i got on this manuscript, I'd have 3 nickels; which isn't a lot but it's weird exciting that it happened 3 different times)

Okay, I lied. My personal favorite was the single, solitary, italicized, "Holy shit."

So for once I'm feeling pretty good about myself and my writing! And that's in spite of one of my worries for this manuscript coming true: I got some details wrong and the Car People noticed. And yet! Despite something being egregiously wrong, they said they didn't care because the story was "so engaging it didn't matter." (Still gonna fix it, though. Now that I know, those inaccurate spark plugs will haunt me.)

I also managed to dust off an old project-- my oldest to date that's still functional as a story-- and figured out how to fix all the problems that led me to shelve it in the first place. I have a plan. I have a workable outline. I fixed the stagnant characters and plot and the massive plot holes all at once with minimal scrapping and without trashing my most favorite (and compelling) aspects.

Most importantly, I'm excited to work on it.

After finishing this latest project and then having my whole body fall apart piece after piece for almost a full quarter of a year, it feels like I haven't wanted to write in a long time, let alone been excited to do so. But here I am, getting words down and dusting off Spotify playlists. It feels really, really good.

So here's to the next few months. They might still be rocky and stressful, but I'm recovering in more ways than just the physical. I hope the end of the year brings you joy and peace in whatever ways you need it most, and that the new year finds you well and, most importantly, happy. If not, please know I'm here for you and rooting for you. My askbox and DMs are always open. <3

[bettsfic]

What are your thoughts on the “publish as you go” versus “publish when the fic is finished” dilemma? Trying to decide what might work best for me since I’m a slow writer and I don’t want readers to have to wait for a long time between chapters but I also rely on feedback to keep going

sometimes i think it depends on the fic. if you're writing longfic and it has many characters and plot threads, i think it's best to write as much as you can ahead of time so you can go back and revise based on what you learned while drafting ahead. but if you're writing a fic that's either somewhat episodic (each chapter is kind of its own little story) or uses familiar tropes as a guiding force, it's not as necessary to hold back. in fact i think in those cases it can become your best work, because other people's enthusiasm affects your drafting and investment.

the happiest medium i've found is to write 20% ahead of the chapter you're posting. so if you have 10 chapters planned, when you post chapter 1, you already have 2 and 3 ready to go. then you post chapter 2 when chapter 4 is written, and so on. the reason this works really well for me is because the stakes are really low writing chapter 7 when you're about to post chapter 5. if you post once a month, for example, but you're writing two months ahead, it's so much easier to be like, "yeah i can get at least something down for chapter 8 by the time 6 goes up."

the caveat here is that in the past, entitled/tactless/rude comments have burst my bubble to the point i lose interest in the fic and don't finish it. so personally i try to have enough written that i've gotten some emotional distance from the chapters being posted and my relationship to the fic is less tenuous.

it's taken me a long time to reach this conclusion, but ultimately i think it's okay to abandon WIPs. sometimes a writer is finished with a story before the story is finished. and fanfiction is one of the few prose genres that gives readers the privilege to read incomplete works. in nearly everything else, we read completed, polished stories. and don't get me wrong, i love a good cathartic resolution, but i also see a lot of beauty in work that gains inertia through reader engagement. it's not always polished or perfect, and maybe sometimes there are plot holes or threads are dropped, but when a fic is written with that unique community energy, there's nothing else like it.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello 🤍

I wanted to ask if you know how do i get a second opinion about my writing if there is a website or something, i can't exactly get from my family and friends cause i am not writing it in my native language and i am still very much a beginner in writing so i really lack the confidence

Getting Feedback on Your Writing

There are a variety of different ways to get feedback on your writing. Which one you choose will depend on you, your story, and your needs at the time.

1 - Sharing Online - Sharing your writing on your blog or a fiction sharing site is one way to get some general feedback on your writing. Fiction sharing sites in particular can be a great way to learn where your strengths and weaknesses are as a writer, but they're not right for everyone.

2 - Writing Groups - Sharing your writing with a writing group is another way to feedback. This could be with a local writer group, a group of your friends who also write, or with writers in an online writing group.

3 - Use an Alpha Reader - Alpha readers are the first people to read your story, as in the first draft, before its been polished and edited. They're there to give you general feedback on your writing and the story. Alpha readers can be pretty much anyone, though it helps if it's someone you can trust to be honest with you and someone who is either an avid reader or also a writer. Family members, friends, classmates, co-workers, and teachers are options. Just be mindful of the fact that everyone doesn't have the time, energy, or ability to read through long stories. Offer compensation if you can, like taking them for lunch or helping them with a project.

4 - Use a Critique Partner - A critique partner is another writer who reads and gives feedback on your manuscript in exchange for you doing the same for them. You can find critique partners in writing groups, critique partner match ups, writing classes, writing workshops, writing conferences, social media, and via your local library/bookstore/cafe bulletin board.

5 - Use Beta Readers - Beta readers read a later draft of your story, once its gone through some editing and polishing. Unlike alpha readers who come at your story from a more casual perspective, beta readers are kind of like a test audience for your story. They're reading your story as if they've picked it up off the shelf at the bookstore. While beta readers are really there to provide feedback for the story specifically, you can glean a lot about where you are as a writer from the kinds of feedback you get from betas. For example, if multiple beta readers complain that your punctuation and grammar are off, you know that's something you probably need to work on generally. (Guide: Beta Readers & How to Find Them)

6 - Hire Someone - Many readers, writers, and editors offer paid feedback services, and these are available for a variety of prices and with varying perks. Look for book editors on Google and see if they offer general writing feedback or excerpt critiques. Web sites like Fiverr are another option. And, see the link below for my own commissions.

Happy writing!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[writingkitten]

Hey there! I'm a little nervous here, but I wanted to let you know that out of all the people I follow on Tumblr, you're the only one whose posts I have notifications turned on for. Your fanfics are just so good that I can't help but stay updated on your latest stories. Even when I'm having a tough day, reading your work always brightens my mood. On behalf of all your fans, I want to say thank you for all the hard work and creativity you put into your writing. You're truly amazing, and we appreciate you more than you know. We love you, and we will be here for you.

So this is the anon I mentioned in my previous post, and I was not over-exaggerating when I said I was crying. Putting the rest of this under “read more”.

I struggle with a lot of things, one of which is self-esteem. Part of that is worrying that I’m not a good writer (as has been seen in some of my posts on here). Just the other day, I got a rejection letter for my script, and today I received another. Good feedback, but it wasn’t good enough. And that often hurts me because my writing and I feel one and the same. So, I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking that I’m just not good enough.

My professional work is waaaaay more polished than my fics, and, I think, better. I think my professional work is tied to my professional self, and thus my fics are the unpolished reality of me.

That’s really deep I didn’t mean to go that far.

My point? You guys consistently and willingly show up for me, and that shows me that I am good enough. Complete strangers come read my stuff, keep up with it, send amazingly sweet asks like this one to my inbox? There’s something about my writing, about me, that’s worth your (however brief) attention, and that means more to me than you could ever realize or than I could ever express.

I hit 400 followers a couple days ago, and I wasn’t going to mention in it because I don’t really care, but that was before this ask. This blog is for me, but it’s also for y’all, and the fact that there’s now OVER 400 of you?! Wow wow wow. Over 400 friends (I’m sure some blog aren’t used anymore but still). We should celebrate. I’ll figure something out, I promise.

Anon, I went off track. Thank you for letting me get all that out, for giving me a little place to say all of this. And thank you for how sweet the message was. I’m suddenly feeling very shy about all of this idk if I should’ve dumped all that out, I’m gonna post just to stop myself from deleting this on accident thank you so much anon I am hugging you

[faroreskiss]

Latest Work: Resurrection Gone Wrong, Chapter 4

I like world building and thinking about those details nobody cares about, reader inserts & AUs. Anything that relates to languages/lingustics/translation.

And yes, as the blog title indicates, also sometimes smut/+18 content, tagged with #smut or #nsfw (So please mind the warnings at the start, there is also SFW content here!)

Unfortunately, I publish first and proof-read later.

*shrugs*

You can call me Farie.

Misc sideblog: @farie-meta

If something is tagged #raw fic it means it has been just typed on a whim and that I clicked on the "Post" button without using my brain as much.

ALL HAIL LINKE

05/08/2023

Master list below.

Regarding Linkcest/Incest, click here.

Ao3 for more polished content. (Still not the best versions unless stated otherwise)

28/07/2023

Hi there to whoever that will ever see this,

After many years of writing (and not publishing much) fanfics and reading a plethora of them, finally decided to post them here.

I did want to focus on one shots, but some of the stuff I wrote ended up having a potential of expansion, even though the whole primary reason was to write a juicy fic!

Then I realized I ended up with at least 10k word background to what was supposed to be a "juicy one shot".

So now, I have this page to see what other people think, maybe I publish both SFW and NSFW versions, maybe somebody is interested in the story potential...

(Also, not a lot of ENM or threesome Zelda x Reader x Link fics in the market lol)

I am open to requests & feedback too!

Master List

Anons: ✨anon

SFW Content:

The Power of Understanding Ongoing Translator!Scholar!Reader random snippets of adventures with the Chain within the Linked Universe AU, pairings possible. Same "You" from the NSFW Fics. Poly/Bisexual Pairings. Read on Ao3

The Power of Understanding shorts in my profile can be found with the tag #the power of understanding shorts or #tpos Do you think I'm a cheater? (Shorts) (Ao3) The Void (Shorts) (Ao3) Triforce of Mischief (Shorts) (Ao3)

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Resurrection Gone Wrong Ongoing Read on Ao3 A couple of short fics about what would happen if Link's resurrection took more of a twisted turn.

Requested Content:

For Tonight (Zelda x Fem!Reader) (Angst, no comfort)

The Void (Power of Understanding Short Story) (Hurt/no comfort)

Can be read stand alone Ao3

Acceptance of the Waves (Linke x Fem!Reader) (Angst)

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Headcanon (?) Content

The Information You Never Knew You Needed

NSFW Content: (MINORS DNI)

Unnatural Coincidences (Zelda x Fem!Reader x Link) (+18) (Experimental writing in third person. Not super proud tbh) Parts 1 2 3 4 Epilogue

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Make me a pie (Warriors x Fem!Higher Ranking Officer!Reader) (+18) Ao3

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A Little Quick(ie) (+18) -Alternate Version 1 (Flora x Fem!Reader) Coming soon -Alternate Version 2 (Twilight x Fem!Reader)

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Harp Lesson (Pedal Harpist!Sky x Fem!Reader) (+18)

Ao3