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lovethisletters · 4 years

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The Bat & The Lantern || Batman x Reader

Hi, lovely! I had so much fun writing this (I'm not gonna lie, I was quite nervous at first, since I don't know that much about the whole green lantern universe, but guess it turned out...ok?) so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and to be honest, I would like to revisit this story again in the future!

Little disclaimer: The reader is a Human green lantern but similar to star-lord she lived the majority of her life in space, that's why she's so oblivious as to whom Batman is, also this takes place during Dick Grayson early years as robin (12-13).

Word count: 2233!!!

Summary: Reader is a new member of the Justice League...but Batman doesn't seem too happy about it.

Keys: Y/S/N: Your Superhero Name | Y/N: Your (real) Name.

Hal Jordan was your friend since you joined the green lanterns (which it was barely 3 or 4 years ago)

Basically...you were "new"

But that didn't stop your fellow green lanterns (?) From seeing all your potential.

Everyone is convinced that with the right training and perseverance, you will become one of the greatest green lanterns of all time.

So, it didn't take long before you proved yourself to be capable enough to join the big leagues.

More specifically, The Justice League.

Hal was the one to introduce you to his companions.

The Amazonian, the human looking alien, the speedster, the other Alien not so human looking, the half robot; everyone was so nice to you since they met you.

Everyone except...The grumpy bat.

When you first introduced yourself, he didn't even bother to be as welcoming as the others.

He just stood there, looking all big and serious that you almost thought it was a statue or the poor guy had catatonic lapses or was way too shy or socially awkward to approach you.

You felt bad, so you approached him instead.

—Hi! I'm Y/S/N...—You said enthusiastically before being abruptly interrupted.

—I know, I heard your introduction already—His voice so devoid of any kind of emotion that you may as well had been talking to a machine.

"Scanning complete, Batman"

A voice inside his cowl informed him, it sounded like an older man with a British accent.

—Thank you, I'll check it later.

That’s when it hit you…the reason why he was watching you so intensely and standing so incredibly still: He was scanning you.

Fucking. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

You stayed there, your face paralyzed with surprise and anger, without knowing very well what to answer; you didn't want to cause a scene on your first day, but this man was just so rude; That is not an appropriate way to receive a new member. yes, it is normal to have suspicions, but you would appreciate if he had the decency to let his suspicions be known when you weren't present.

—she just introduced herself and already on with the paranoic behavior, Bats? seriously? —Hal stepped in your defense.

—this is a routine procedure; I'm just being cautious.

—He was like that at the beginning with all of us too, don’t worry he’ll warm up to you in no time—Wonder woman whispered in your ear after watching your uncomfortable expression.

Ultimatedly you decided to listen to the amazonian and let that one slide, “is normal to be wary of new things anyways” you repeated yourself.

As the months passed you have grown quite frustrated. Between all the missions and meetings even though you felt your relationship with the rest of the team grow closer and they began to trust you and respect you; your relationship with the Batman stayed pretty much the same.

Yes, there was a bit of progress….a bit.

He was bit more talkative to you, a bit more “friendly”, a bit more trusting.

But it was always just a bit never actually fully a teammate to you, your relationship felt more like distant coworkers.

At the beginning it didn’t worry you too much, until your lack of communication started to mess with your performance in the missions, sometimes something completely bizarre and unexpected would happen and because both of you didn’t know each other very well, the mission would take the double amount of time to resolve since you couldn’t coordinate at all.

One time he almost ran you over with his batwing…

The whole thing was kinda funny looking back on it but at the time you were furious (rightfully so)

In his defense, he didn’t knew you were there…I mean…you basically where standing in his parking spot (not that you knew there was such a thing, most members could fly or at least jump really high, so you kinda always forgot he couldn’t…and to be honest you didn’t know his exact powers)

—Sorry—was all he said as he got out of the strangely shaped flying vehicle and directed only one glance at you to make sure you where ok before entering the building, always maintaining that characteristic calm and cold demeanor.

One day you entered the hall of justice earlier than usual only to find an unexpected guest sitting in one of the empty chairs his gaze fixated on a book, he was wearing a rather colorful suit of some sort matching his green mask, then you realized when you were close enough…he was a C H I L D.

You panicked, why was a child here? Is he some sort of mini spy? How was he able to get through the security system? Did he touch anything dangerous?

This and many more questions ran through your mind, the child noticed you were looking at him and only gave a polite nod as a greeting before returning his attention to his book.

Perhaps a school trip that you weren’t aware of was taking place and this kid strayed from his class? Perhaps he was looking for one of your teammates to ask for a photo and got lost and decided to wait here for his teacher? That will explain why everyone wasn’t here in the meetings room, perhaps they were busy giving the (hypothetical) group of children a tour?

—Hey kiddo! Are you lost? —you began the conversation in a friendly tone before kneeling down a little in order to appear less imposing…after all he was a child you didn’t wanna scare him.

He looked at you so incredulously.

You could almost hear him think “ma’am wtf are you doing???” through his expressions.

—What’s your name?

—Ummm…uh…Robin?—He spoke like it was something obvious while signaling the “R” symbol on his chest.

—Robin, uh? What a pretty name! tell me Robin…why are you here? Are you lost?

Poor boy he was so confused, you didn’t know who he was? Didn’t any of the members told you about him? And more importantly…Why where you talking to him like if he was a 5-year-old?

—No, ma’am…I’m just waiting for Batman.

“Batman? Was he a fan of Batman of all superheroes?” It surprised you a bit, usually kids tend to like superman or wonder woman more since they are nicer and charismatic, and Batman was the opposite.

—Sorry Kiddo, I don’t think he’s one for photos, perhaps you could ask the others some other time! — you began explaining trying to dissuade the kid while guiding him towards the exit.

—He’s not here for photos—smooth as ever…the Bat was behind you.

—He’s my sidekick.

Your jaw dropped, a sidekick? He’s a CHILD! You knew superheroes had sidekicks, but you never knew they were that young!

Before you could even begin to protest, Batman ignored you, looking down at the child and instructing him to collect his things.

—Hurry, you’ll be late for class again. — He said before disappearing behind the door that led to his parking spot.

Robin quickly followed, hanging his backpack over his shoulder before stopping in his tracks directing an apologetic smile towards you and saying:

—Don’t worry miss, I can take care of myself! — He must have noticed the concern on your face before leaving.

Since that day your routine changed.

You would wake up earlier, many times you’ll be the first to arrive to the Hall of justice, and even have breakfast flying on your way there all for one thing: Robin.

Once you learned he was Batman’s sidekick you couldn’t help but worry over that poor child, “what if he gets hurt? Is he eating/sleeping/resting properly?” you just couldn’t help yourself.

At first it was just checking on the kid by just…seeing him in the morning and greeting him casually but there were times he wasn’t there, and you would panic internally and there was no other way to calm your anxiety until you would ask the Bat about the child.

He would always replay shortly: “He’s at home” “He’s at school” “He’s busy” and your conversations always would end there.

One day that Robin was there however, instead of your usual ‘greeting nod’ he started talking to you.

He asked you all sorts of things (that weren’t compromising to your real identity ofc) “What’s your favorite color?” “What music do you like?” “What’s your favorite movie?”

And it started from there.

The conversations with Robin grew not only more frequent but also more personal (as personal as someone with a superhero lifestyle can be), to the point it had become a routine for you to come early and talk to the boy, sometimes you had breakfast together or even helped him with his homework before the Bat would take him to school.

Perhaps it was because you didn’t have many acquittances here on earth, but Robin became family to you.

And family takes care of each other.

It had been a rather difficult and spontaneous mission; Lex Luthor was starting to act a little bit fishy (more than usual) using his connections and money Luthor had been acquiring/robbing very specifically concerning items all over the US, his next objectives: a Radion sample being investigated in a secret laboratory in Star city and a Dionesium sample...contained in the Wayne tower laboratories...

The team decided to split to put a stop to Luthor’s minions and his plan.

The Bat insisted the rest of the team should go to Star city, telling them that he and Robin could handle it, but everyone was immediately against it: Luthor had already collected relatively powerful items and being the intelligent motherfucker he is, probably transformed some of those items to give to his goon’s so they might have a chance in harming any of the members if they were to interfere.

Ultimately, the team agreed you and cyborg would accompany them to Wayne Tower.

Robin was stoked, he would get the opportunity to fight alongside you! But Batman…not so much…he kept trying to lose the two of you on the way there; fortunately, cyborg put a tracker on the batwing, he wasn’t going to get rid of you that easy.

Upon your arrival, you could spot several men (armed like if they were military but with a much more upgraded equipment) already leaving the building, carrying two tanks (presumably full of that substance Martian Manhunter had mentioned before) and heading to a truck without any plates.

Long story short: you organized a plan as quickly as you could but…something went wrong…Cyborg and Robin were supposed to create a distraction while the two of you recovered the tanks without damaging them, since the properties of the substance within remained unknown.

But something went wrong: You and Batman failed to coordinate and so you were spotted by the henchmen, they started aiming their weapons at the two of you, initially you thought a force field generated by the power of your ring would be enough...oh no, honey, you’re so wrong.

Sonic weapons were able to not only break your concentration quickly, but also made your ears bleed! One after another you kept re-making the fields, but the sonic waves so deathly and loud just kept coming.

You don’t know how but you were able to stand your ground long enough to make cover not only for Batman and allow him to get the tanks back safely but also for the rest of your team and give them a slight advantage to take down as many of Luthor’s minions as they could.

And then…you passed out.

You woke up at the infirmary in Justice Hall, your head a mess and wrapped in bandages, you had broken your arm because that shit inside a cast too for some reason…and…your ring was gone!

Panic!

No, never mind it was on the nightstand next to the chair in which batman was sitting on.

WAIT…next to the chair in which batman was sitting on?!?!?!

—How are you feeling? — you didn’t know if it was him suddenly talking or the genuine concern on his voice that startle you, so you just nodded slightly while he approached you.

—Can you hear me properly? —Surprisingly you could, but you still were a bit taken aback by his presence.

—I…—Before responding your brain reminded you of the fact that you didn’t had your ring on, hence your secret identity was revealed to Batman. Your hands practically flew to your face in embarrassment. You didn’t know why but without your mask you felt naked and vulnerable.

He noticed.

His gaze studying your pained expression before he let out a small sigh.

—I came here…to thank you…and apologize— hesitantly his hands moved to the back of his cowl.

—You not only put yourself in danger for Cyborg and Robin, but you also concerned yourself with my safety even when it was probably my fault that we ended up in that situation —He admitted pressing a hidden button loosing up his cowl before finally taking it off and reviling the most gorgeous man you’ve had ever lay your eyes on.

—And for that I thank you and apologize…sincerely—Such sudden action left you speechless for a while, Batman not only had thanked you and apologized, but he had entrusted his identity to you.

—I think-…I think we started with the wrong foot; you know? —You finally were able to respond, breaking the silence that filled the room and surprising him slightly by your sudden declaration.

—Let’s start again…Hi! I’m Y/N—You imitated the same friendly voice tone you first used to talk to him.

The lips on the man in front of you curved forming a subtle almost imperceptive grin.

—Hello, Y/N, I’m Bruce…Bruce Wayne.

♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT. TOOK. SO. LONG. Sorry :c

I had a bunch of ideas for this request but ended up going with this one since I wanted to expand on their beginning, I’m still trying to figure out a way to write Bruce and this was my first attempt, so…sorry if it was…bad :c I’ll try harder next time!!!

Any errors you might see, please let me know; English is not my first language so I’m trying to improve.

In the final scene I wanted Bruce to show he recognized the Reader as an equal so that’s why he took it off…still I felt like it could improve.

♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be a little bit fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway! Thank you for reading!

#batman x reader #batman hc #batman #batman imagine #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #batfamily #green lantern #justice league #batfam #fanfic #batman fic #dick grayson #robin

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elitegymnastics · 3 years

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Q: What is this?

A: It’s a flyer for a virtual fundraiser on June 4th that Elite Gymnastics is playing. You can access the show at quietyear.com

Q: Hasn’t Elite Gymnastics been inactive for like, ten years?

A: Yes. This is the first Elite Gymnastics performance of any kind since November 30th 2012, at the Horn Gallery at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio.

Q: Why did Elite Gymnastics stop playing shows?

A: Elite Gymnastics started out as me (Jaime) and a bunch of my friends agreeing to help me play my songs live back in 2009. I made a lot of weird demos in GarageBand and my friend Dominique Davis from the band Dearling Physique got tired of watching me sit on them. So, he booked me to play at a show he was curating as part of a small local music and arts festival called Clapperclaw. For several months that’s mainly what EG was. At some point the focus shifted to making recordings rather than playing shows, to participate in the emergent culture of new music distributed via MP3 file-sharing. The lineup winnowed to just me and Josh Clancy, who began creating digital EPs that we posted on this Tumblr page as ZIP files full of MP3s accompanied by a PDF of artwork. This is the incarnation of the group that most people are familiar with.

This was before Patreon existed. If Bandcamp was around, we’d never heard of it. Though MP3 file-sharing culture and file transfer sites like MediaFire and MegaUpload allowed anyone to distribute music freely across the world via the internet, it was still pretty difficult to get people to pay you for it. I think it was for this reason that a lot of internet music back then featured a lot of sampling. A lot of artists’ first forays into the world of DAWs and production took the form of mash-ups, bootleg remixes, and DJ mixes. Artists like Animal Collective, MIA, Kanye West, and Daft Punk for whom sampling was a pillar of their creative process were extremely influential. Elite Gymnastics was no exception - the first song of ours to gain traction online was “Is This On Me?” which made no attempt to hide the fact that it heavily sampled Faye Wong’s “Eyes On Me.” The fact that it was so difficult to make money off MP3s pushed people to make different creative decisions than they would have otherwise. It was sort of a free-for-all.

Eventually, all of this started to change. The major labels started getting a lot more aggressive about trying to destroy MP3 file-sharing culture. Platforms like MegaUpload were raided and taken offline. The replacements that sprung up to replace them were increasingly infested with ads and malware. Corporate platforms like YouTube and SoundCloud adopted Content ID filters to prevent the proliferation of copyrighted music there. Blogs and private torrent trackers being taken down meant thousands of hours of labor were wiped out in an instant. Some of the best archives of the history of recorded music ever created were destroyed without hesitation. Even the most devoted participants lost the will to keep repairing and re-making the stuff that cops and record companies kept obliterating.

Josh and I both dreamed of being able to make a living as musicians. We still do. Back then, we were willing to accept a lot of changes in order to make that possible, which seemed necessary. A lot of the stuff that we were great at just didn’t make any money. Once, we were asked to do a remix of a song called “Sa Sa Samoa” by the band Korallreven. I did the remix by myself, which was normal for us, and Josh was so inspired by it that he spent a week working non-stop to create a video for it. People loved it - the day the video dropped, Pitchfork designated the song as a “Best New Track” and New York Magazine wrote about it in their “Approval Matrix.” The video led to a ton of exposure, but from a financial perspective, it just did not make sense to put that much effort into promoting a remix of someone else’s song. The stuff we were personally excited by just seemed to have less and less to do with what actually makes money.

A lot of internet bands during this era began to palpably shapeshift in an effort to succeed in music as a career. Artists who’d first attracted notice for sample-based bangers they made on a laptop started posing with vintage hardware in their press photos and trading in their laptops for live bands and recording studios. It became harder to distribute DJ mixes or mash-ups that contained copyrighted music in them. Influential bloggers either closed up shop or were absorbed into the traditional music industry in some way. Feeds that once touted bizarre songs by laptop-toting weirdos with no industry connections started to become populated mostly by artists with labels and publicists. The bottom rungs of festival lineups started to consist mostly of new major label signings who have lots of money to spend on stage production but not much in the way of grassroots fan enthusiasm or media buzz.

Internet music and what people tend to refer to as “indie music” split off into two separate streams. Today, there’s a pretty intense firewall between internet culture and whatever you want to call the culture of vinyl records, mid-sized indie labels with publicists, and positive reviews from the few remaining websites that still pay people to write about music. I call it “publicist indie,” “lifestyle techno,” or “prestige electronica” depending on whether or not the music features guitars and/or vocals. The recent online kerfuffle about NFTs really emphasized this split. The worlds of digital illustration and game development campaigned aggressively against mass adoption of cryptocurrency - if you saw any Medium posts explaining crypto’s environmental issues, chances are they were written by someone from those fields. Every new announcement by an artist that they had minted an NFT was met with a swift and vocal backlash from fans. Though I’ve never really been much of an Aphex Twin fan, it was still pretty startling to look at the replies under his NFT announcement tweet and see hundreds of furious people announcing that he was now dead to them. That’s an artist who has seemed more or less unimpeachable for most of my life up until this point! All of that seemed to change in an instant.

There is a massive disconnect between the insular world of the industry establishment and the cutting edge of online counterculture. We saw this again a couple of weeks ago with the online response to the crisis in Gaza. We saw passionate advocacy for Palestinians from games journalists and developers much more often than we saw it from musicians. This is a very serious problem for music! I do not believe it is possible to please both sides - that is to say, I do not believe it is possible to be part of internet counterculture and the industry establishment simultaneously. The music industry is too conservative, too compromised, too corrupt. If it weren’t for the ocean of valuable copyrights that labels are sitting on, most of them would be bankrupt within a year. If the industry was forced to live or die based on how they handle what’s happening right now in the present, it would most assuredly die. The only people who don’t realize this are those who are being paid to stay ignorant.

Josh and I did not know this back then. From where we were standing, it looked like internet culture and established media industries were on track to converge. A career in the arts seemed genuinely, tantalizingly possible, right up until the moment that it no longer did.

In my case, I had really been struggling up until that point. My life had been this ongoing sequence of evictions and hospitalizations, and it seemed to be getting worse, not better. I donated plasma twice a week to pay for groceries and while I was sitting there with a giant needle stuck in my left arm for an hour I would see my picture in The Fader or my songs being recommended by one of the Kings of Leon on Twitter or whatever. Music seemed like the only thing the world thought I was any good at. It felt like my only chance at a peaceful, happy life was somewhere out there in a world I could only perceive through a laptop screen.

Gender, for me, was a big factor in all of this. The more invested in the craft of songwriting I became, the harder it was to repress or ignore my gender stuff. At that time I’m not sure I even knew what the word “transgender” meant - I just knew that when I showed up at a venue wearing a skirt, no one would talk to me or look me in the eye, and that reading about people like Anohni or Terre Thaemlitz or on the internet made me feel like if I could get out of Minneapolis maybe I could find a place where people would accept me. The internet was like, a pretty toxic place for someone in my position. When I tried to find people to talk to about what I was feeling, nobody tried to tell me to read Judith Butler or ask me what pronouns I preferred. The internet was just like, overrun with predators who just wanted to fetishize me and exploit me. Music seemed like the only way I’d ever have an actual life as myself. I was desperate for that. I was well and truly desperate.

Between all the big changes that were happening to us individually and the music industry moving farther and farther away of the anarchic free-for-all of MP3 file-sharing culture, the strain on us just got to be too much. We stopped trusting each other. We became the unstoppable force and the immovable object, crashing haphazardly against one another’s resolve in a dazzling display of youthful futility. Our partnership ended, and after finishing out the remaining live shows on the calendar by myself, I retired the name “Elite Gymnastics” and started making music on my own under other names. That was that.

Q: Why is Elite Gymnastics coming back now, then?

A: Over the years, Josh and I eventually started talking again. Though there was a lot we did agree on, and potential future projects were discussed, nothing truly felt right. We haven’t been in the same room since Summer 2012, and we’ve both changed a lot since then. We both have other projects and we’ve both developed other ways of working since we stopped working together. It’s a pretty big commitment to put all of that aside in order to join your fortunes together with someone you haven’t seen in a decade.

Recently, Josh decided to leave Elite Gymnastics. His reasons are his own, and I was very surprised by his decision, but after having had time to adjust, I’m really grateful to him. I had kept these songs at a distance for many years, because it seemed foolish to allow myself to get too attached to songs I didn’t feel like I was allowed to think of as mine, if that makes any sense. The songs felt like casualties of a conflict that I had to bury in the ground and try to forget about. Being able to embrace them again felt like re-growing a severed limb or having a loved one come back to life, almost. Feeling like it was safe to love these songs again made me feel whole in a way I didn’t expect to. I became really excited by the prospect of revisiting them, so that’s what I decided to do.

Q: Does this mean you’re going to put RUIN back on Spotify?

A: No. Taking the record off Spotify was the right thing to do. That record was only ever intended to exist during the era of MP3 piracy. I never envisioned a world where the music industry would be so aggressive about policing the way that copyrighted music is allowed to exist online. If we hadn’t opted to take the record down when we did, someone would inevitably have forced us to. If you want to hear those specific recordings again, you’re going to have to do it the way we originally intended: by downloading MP3 files from the internet. Try SoulSeek.

Q: What’s next for Elite Gymnastics, then?

A: Here’s the situation currently. There is no Elite Gymnastics music available to stream or purchase in an official capacity anywhere on the internet. It wouldn’t really be possible for me to put the old stuff on Spotify or Bandcamp now because of all the samples. Like I said before, it was a different time. Those records were created to thrive on a past version of the internet that no longer exists. They weren’t designed to be compatible with the 2021 internet.

Technically, Elite Gymnastics didn’t ever release a debut album. We had EPs, a compilation, and a remix collection. We didn’t make an album, a record that existed as the distillation of all that experimentation that contained all of the songs that fans of the EPs would want to hear, all in one place. It’s like we did Good Fridays but stopped before we made My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

So, I am currently working on the first Elite Gymnastics album. If you were following my stuff as Default Genders, you may have noticed me posting demos on my SoundCloud page from 2015-2018 that were all eventually reworked into the album Main Pop Girl 2019. The album I am making is taking that approach to all the old EG songs, including some unreleased stuff. I’m collaborating with others on some songs and I honestly feel like it has resulted in some of the best and most exciting music I have ever been involved with. It is a drastic reinvention, but iteration and reinvention have always been a big part of what I do. I want to make something that feels like the culmination of everything that came before, and so far, I think I’m succeeding.

Q: When will I be able to hear this new music?

At a virtual fundraiser on June 4th, 2021, where there is a suggested donation of $10. You can access it at quietyear.com

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grimoire-of-geekery · 3 years

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Detect Magic: the Sixth World Tarot by Echo Chernik

(pictured here- the deluxe edition [left] and the Arcanist edition of the Sixth World Tarot by Echo Chernik)

Y'know, it's been a long time since I did one of these, but here goes. It's time for another Detect Magic review. I haven't put the Dork Magician hat on for a while, so let's give this a whirl!

Today we're taking a look at the Sixth World Tarot, by Echo and Lazarus Chernik. She has this available on her website (click the above link), which come signed by the artist and the author. I'm a bit bummed, I bought a copy of this deck juuuuust before she started signing them. Not her fault, but still. XD

For those of you unfamiliar with Shadowrun, it's a cyberpunk dystopian magic-and-mech RPG setting and fantasy novel universe which originated in the late 80's. The premise is that magic is growing stronger, the world experienced a big Awakening in the early 2000's, right around the same time that corporations managed to gain extraterritoriality. So, you have dragons running huge megacorps, which basically enslave people to be lifelong wageslaves from birth (or as soon as they can get their hands on a desired talent), immersive VR Matrix hackers, cyberware enhanced fighters and magic practitioners acting as "deniable assets" to said corps for all sorts of shady business.

Hence the name "Shadowrun."

This setting, one of my absolute favorite settings out there, has had the misfortune of developing a sort of eerie prophetic element akin to the Simpsons and its bizarre track record of prediction of ludicrous world events. Shadowrun was intended to be a cautionary tale, not an oracular one. That being said, that does make a tarot based on Shadowrun more than a little on-the-nose for predictive purposes. After all, they're telling the future without even trying. Wait until they actually put some effort into it...

All right, time to Detect Magic!

Accessory- Crit (4 out of 4) Stunning artwork, evocative imagery... this deck is gorgeous. It's so beautiful, and so intricate and well made, that people who don't even read tarot (or even particularly like tarot) buy several copies for their geeky collections, and even people who don't particularly care about Shadowrun have dropped their jaw when I showed the deck to them.

A bit busier than I'm used to working with (not the art, but the extras which I'll explain later), I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved the cards when I first got them. The box for both editions I own are a nice durable gloss with a magnetic foldover closure, there's a ribbon inside each to help pull the cards and book out of the box, and the decorative artwork is gorgeous and fitting with the setting. Definitely aesthetically pleasing enough to take places, and durable enough to resist scuffing or tearing for on-the-go divination and gaming use.

Tome- Crit (4 out of 4) So, the Tome section of this review is supposed to be about how well the cards help one in the pursuit of learning magic and practicing geekomancy. And... really, I don't think I've found a deck (or any artifact of fandom) quite as good as this.

Let me explain.

Tarot, in the sorcery practice I teach, are already basically a pictorial grimoire, describing life in a way that allows us to learn the hidden movements, mysteries, and forces at play in our world. Art is good for things like that in general. It helps you see the world through a special lens, one which allows you to see things you might have missed.

The thing is, the lens of this deck is the Shadowrun continuity, which as I said earlier, has proven to be more than a little prophetic, and alarmingly so.

The magic system of Shadowrun is pretty adjacent to our own. Life force lines, spiritual power sites, astral projection and spirits and magical "energy" forms, initiatory mysteries... it's all pretty much the same as our own reality, just juiced up a bit, with some extra game elements added (don't even ask me about insect spirits).

This makes the deck particularly helpful if one wishes to learn magic in any of the myriad ways described in Shadowrun (and they're particularly respectful and diverse and true-to-life in their tradition descriptions).

BUT, it also has an entire lore-book called the Book of the Lost associated with it, which explains all these little secret sigils and images and easter eggs stored throughout the deck, which can be used for gamebuilding and storytelling, but are designed to be arcane indicators and omens, among other things. And the kinds of symbols they use range from sentences or mottos in dead languages, all the way to waveform patterns and dot-matrix maps. I swear, if you're one of those people who like puzzles and cryptography, this deck is even more fun than the Hermetic Tarot.

In summary, while you'll have to get some Shadowrun sourcebooks to really get deep into the canon lore, there's so much of it that the cards really show you on their own that I don't consider this a setback at all. Feel free to deep-dive with this deck, you'll learn a TON about magic if you let it guide you.

Relic- Success (3 out of 4) If you read the Book of the Lost, or Unearthed Arcana, or any of the 5th edition Shadowrun magic sourcebooks, you'll see that "tarot magic" is an up and coming thing in their canon. Each text helps you see how practitioners use the cards in-game for spellcasting, ritual magic, initiation practices and spirit summoning. The Tarot are already really valuable as central objects of importance to certain kinds of magical practice. This particular deck is designed to be so handy a central object that there's an entire book dedicated to it.

Weapon- Success (3 out of 4) The only reason I'm rating this a success instead of a crit is because they don't provide enough spreads in the various associated books for one to immediately begin casting spells with them, which means you'll have to do some designing. They do have a couple solid unique spreads for basic divination though.

The deck's canon in-game suggests ritual practices like gathering and doing a ritual with sets of related cards, and one such ritual was easily adapted in my own practice, into the Lucky Kimono spread I designed (which people can read about on my Patreon at the higher tiers). So, even without outright including spell-spreads, they sort of gave us clues anyway.

Again, you're going to need the sourcebooks, but it's only a few of them, and they're well worth a read even if you're not planning on playing the game (and I don't play in the actual Shadowrun mechanical system, though I do like the sourcebooks for campaign setting ideas).

Overall Rating: Critical Success (14 out of 16)

Achievement Unlocked: Novahot Echo's artwork is already legendary in the dork realms of geekomancy. She's done work for Dungeons and Dragons, Mage: the Ascension, House of Night... she's even working on a Fate: the Winx Saga playing card deck right now. Her art-nouveau delicacy combined with the powerful non-pandering way she draws women means that her paintings pack a punch!

That being said, it's rare that we see professional artists create a tarot deck of this magnitude as a gaming accessory. Most tarot decks of this caliber are found in professional occult catalogues or as independent projects by artists just wanting to flex their skills for their own reasons. To have a deck like this, clearly a labor of love by all involved, as a major element of gameplay within a franchise is really very special. And something this diverse, deep, and absolutely saturated with layers of ciphers and riddles... it's a geekomancer's dream come true.

Level Up: 2 Levels I think the only way anyone's going to be able to top this deck is if they manage to design a tarot deck that's also a fully immersive VR video game AND an AR game and divination tool useable with one's iPhone or Android. Legit, Echo and Lazarus left everyone in the dust. I haven't been this excited about Shadowrun since Shadowrun Returns first came out, and I got a set of dogtags that had a USB drive with the game on it.

It's just... crazy cool.

Full disclosure, I've had the deluxe edition of these cards for a while now, so I've basically been low-key squeeing about this deck since I first heard about it in 2018, even before I got it. I've been utterly astonished that people weren't more excited about them, and I wasn't hearing about them everywhere.

Before this, I created my own Shadowrun tarot method using the Universal Transparent Tarot (cuz, y'know, plastic and see-through and weird little mosaic readings all in one place, seemed fitting to me), and when I got the Sixth World Tarot? I don't think I've opened the UTT since!

Anyway, this is my review of this deck! Go follow the link up at the top of this post, and buy yourself one! And hey, let me know if you figure out the cool little map trick. My jaw literally dropped when I was shown that!

#detectmagicreview #shadowrun #sixth world tarot

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nevernotwriting · 4 years

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You, Me, and Yancy | Chapter 1: A Proposition

Read me on AO3!

It had been a normal morning so far. Well, as normal as it could get when you worked for a kind but, quite frankly, sketchy group of people.

You pulled off of the freeway, making your way through crossroads and down a path you previously thought abandoned. After graduating from a master’s in cyber security from Caltech, you’d been lucky enough to land a job almost immediately after your project was handed in, meaning you didn’t have to haul yourself and your belongings all the way back home to the backwaters of Pennsylvania. Sure, you did have to haul yourself across Los Angeles in a giant moving van, but a couple of hours of California traffic was much better than a several thousand-mile journey across the States. Over the last few months, you’d settled nicely into a life you could call your own, filled with people from all walks of life, and with much warmer weather.

You smiled to yourself as you scanned your ID card at the gateway to your HQ, thinking of all the people you’d met so far at this bizarre yet wonderful job. There was your boss, for a start. She’d changed her name so many times that everyone lost track and instead settled on calling her ‘Shark’, which she welcomed with a hearty laugh and a flash of a mouth full of teeth. The name suited her, you thought.

You and some of your other colleagues also liked to use unusual codenames, both for privacy and for fun. There was Vakarian, who had an affinity for calibrating everyone’s computers and was a killer shot with a sniper rifle. Next was Shrike, who had named herself after a type of bird known for piercing its prey on thorn bushes. You decided not to ask her why she chose that name. For yourself, you settled on Zero, a reference to your almost lifelong affinity for binary code which led you down the tech path in the first place.

There were others who just chose to use their real names – Jasmine, Gareth, and Mark. You and Jasmine worked together regularly in the tech department, spending hours chatting in between your hacking sessions and gaining intel on building layouts for the heist experts. Jasmine had been on two heists herself, and always came in the next day talking at a million miles per hour about how fun it was, how it sent her adrenaline skyrocketing higher than any rollercoaster ever had.

By her mannerisms today, you guessed she’d been on a third heist last night. You’d been settled at your desk for all of two minutes when she waltzed in, placing a cup of coffee down for you and twirling in her chair with a gigantic grin on her face.

“Mornin’ Jazz,” you greeted her. “Another heist last night? How was it?”

Jasmine began her spiel before you could even reach a hand towards your coffee. She rambled on and on about the thrill of scaling buildings, how good her new night vision goggles were, and how she nearly got caught but managed to make it out right on schedule.

“Zero, you have to go,” she finished at last, taking a sip from her own cup. “You won’t regret it.”

You hesitated, shrugging your shoulders. “I dunno, Jazz. I’m more of a behind the scenes tech monkey.” You’d been on a few scoping exhibitions, but that just involved sitting on a rooftop watching guard rotations until the early hours of the morning. You’d never done anything more adventurous, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to just yet.

She rolled her eyes, wheeling her chair closer to you. “But think about it. You could get some more up-close-and-personal time with Mark,” she whispered, nodding her head to your left.

You followed her gesture. Mark had just entered the office, dressed in all black. He took off his beanie and swept a hand through his dark hair. It immediately flopped forwards again, so he shook his head to one side. The action seemed to go in slow motion, and you tried not to stare.

Before you could chastise yourself for definitely staring, Mark’s eyes landed on yours. He shot you a warm smile that lit up his whole face, and you felt heat rising to your cheeks as you smiled back, giving a little wave before swizzling round in your chair.

“No way,” you hissed in embarrassment, snatching up your coffee before it turned cold. As it turned out, it was still very much burning hot. You tried not to wince as you forced the liquid down.

“Why not?” She shot back. “Look, he’s clearly into you. He practically jumped at the opportunity to show you the ropes of all the heist gear, and to a rooftop night shift with you. You guys are always lingering by the water cooler together on breaks, giggling away like little schoolkids. And, Shrike told me he asked you out on a date last week.”

You nearly spat out your second mouthful of molten coffee. Jasmine sat back in her chair with a smug grin as you glared at her.

“How does she know that?!” You tried not to yell as Vakarian milled into the workplace, throwing around cheery greetings.

“You know Shrike,” Jasmine shrugged. “She gets around. She skimped on the details, though. So, what did he say exactly?”

You could see Jasmine wasn’t going to let this go. You sighed, mirroring Jasmine’s posture as you began to recount the details of that evening.

You got out of your chair and stretched triumphantly, knowing you were just about done for the day. The last thing you had to do was collect the blueprints you’d sketched up from the printer, then leave it on Shark’s desk for her to look at in the morning. You did just that, and dusted your hands off with a satisfied smile as you made your way down the corridor to the exit.

You’d been so caught up in your daydream of getting home, changing into your pyjamas, and curling up in front of the TV that you hadn’t realised that you weren’t the last one in the building. That is until you walked straight into another person.

You gasped at the abrupt contact, shutting your eyes as your prepared to hit the ground. The fall never came. A strong hand caught yours and pulled you upright with a gentle grunt of effort. When you opened your eyes, you were face to face with a kind smile and dark, inquisitive eyes.

Mark’s eyes.

Blood rushed to your face immediately, and you stumbled out an awkward apology.

“Jesus, s-sorry Mark. Didn’t realise you were still here.”

Mark just laughed. It was a deep, hearty laugh, but not an unkind one. “No problem Zero.”

Your eyes travelled back to his from where they had chosen to fixate on the floor. He was still smiling at you, and you managed to smile back sheepishly. His face only brightened as you curled out of your awkward posture to face him properly. He’d been incredibly sweet to you ever since you joined, and you two became even closer after many hours spent on that rooftop in the middle of the night a few weeks back. That night in particular really caused a stir in your feelings, and brought up a whirlwind of emotions you’d never felt before.

That whirlwind started all over again as you realised he was still holding your hand. You cleared your throat and he broke your shared gaze, letting go and scratching the back of his head.

“Hope I didn’t hurt you,” you said, gaining a small amount of bravery and dusting off his shoulders from where you’d collided. A hint of pink appeared on his cheeks at your action, but he covered it up with a barrage of his usual confidence.

“Me? Nah, I’m a big strooong man,” he replied, puffing out his chest and grunting in an exaggerated manner. He curled his biceps for an exaggerated effect, clearly trying to make you laugh.

And boy did he. You doubled over, failing to stifle a snort. Your face grew hotter at the embarrassing noise you hadn’t intended to make, but Mark seemed to revel in it, his grin growing wider with pride at getting such a strong reaction from you.

“Anyway,” he started again as you both calmed down from your shared laughter. “I’m glad I ran into you. I’ve actually been meaning to ask you something.”

You raised your eyebrows and stayed silent, waiting.

Mark let out a short exhale, running a hand through his hair and then across his stubble. Despite the joy on his face mere seconds ago, he now looked a little uncertain. It wasn’t an expression that came naturally to him; he normally paraded around with a kind yet confident smile as he told you about the heists he’d pulled off in the past, about his family, and as he asked about yours. You’d never seen him like this before, and you didn’t know what to expect.

Finally, he cleared his throat.

“Look, I really like spending time with you here. Showin’ you all the gear, chatting over coffee, all the usual work stuff.” His voice was quiet. He cleared his throat again, taking a step closer to you and looking into your eyes once more.

“But I’d like to get to know you better, in some place that’s not work related. Would you like to go on a date sometime?”

Your mind screeched to a halt as you stood frozen on the spot. Did you hear him correctly? It sounded like Mark just asked you out on a date. Mark the heist expert, Mark the previous engineering student, Mark your very cute co-worker, wanted to go on a date with you.

You couldn’t lie to yourself - the thought had crossed your mind several times over the past few weeks. When he held out a hand to you after you fell flat on your ass when you failed to use the grappling gun. When his form lingered around yours as he taught you how to aim a tranquiliser pistol. When you sat on that rooftop together exchanging stories and his eyes never looked away as you started opening up to him. You just never expected it to actually… well, happen.

A gigantic grin, bigger than all those before, broke out onto your face. “Mark, I’d love to!”

Mark’s eyebrows shot up. “Great!” He exclaimed, a relieved laugh escaping him. “When works best for you?”

You hesitated, remembering your schedule was pretty booked for the upcoming weekend. “In all honesty, I’m pretty busy this weekend. Family visiting,” you tried not to sound too negative. “But maybe after then?”

Mark nodded understandingly, shoving his hands in his pockets and shuffling on the spot. “Sure thing. I’m free most of the time, so whenever works for you, really.”

You smiled back, heart skipping beats as reality set in. You and Mark were going on a date. Sure, you didn’t know exactly when you were going on this date, but it was definitely happening soon.

“I’ll let you know, for sure! For now though, I guess we’d better be heading home,” you replied, a spring in your step as you and Mark made your way to the exit. It was dark when you got outside, so Mark insisted on walking you to your car, even though it wasn’t too far from where he’d parked his own. You turned to Mark when you stood next to your vehicle, unsure of what to expect but not wanting to seem rude.

Mark stood with his hands in his pockets again, beaming at you like before. You felt heat rise to your face again; you’d never get used to him looking at you like that.

“Goodnight, Zero.” He took his hands out of his pockets and held his arms out for a hug, which you more than happily accepted. He was warm and his hold around you was strong but comforting, making you feel safe and at ease. Your heart was beating rapidly again as you wound your own arms around his waist and spoke into his ear.

“You can call me by my real name if you want.”

You let your arms trail away from him as his grip softened. Mark looked surprised, but flattered, by your suggestion. He pursed his lips in thought.

“How about we keep it as Zero for work?” He suggested. “I’ll switch to your real name for our date.”

You nodded as you unlocked your car. “Deal.”

He winked at you as he walked away backwards, almost tripping on his own feet. You covered a small laugh with your hand. Mark regained his composure and waved you goodbye. You waved back, getting into your car and driving into the night.

Next chapter

#a heist with markiplier #ahwm #heist mark #heist mark x reader #heist! mark x reader #yancy x reader #ahwm yancy x reader #my writing #nevernotwriting #ahwm yancy

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cynthiaandsamus · 3 years

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Custom Toonami Block Week 79 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch is establishing the official United States of Fuck Imperialism which is like the UN but actually does stuff, plus he has to deal with the fact that CC’s lost her memory and is acting like a demure slave girl harem choice from a VN. Charles is still trapped in the Human Instrumentality Shadow Realm so everyone figures this is a great time to unify everyone against Britannia. Kallen beats the shit out of Suzaku for being a dick to her all this time and the Knight of Ten is making his rounds because they realize they forgot to give him any buildup and he’s going to be a miniboss later so they have to cram all his being a dick personality into like five minutes while all the Knights of the Round assemble to prepare for an attack on Japan once the National Federation is formed. Llyod and Cecile for some reason enhanced the Guren for Suzaku even though he’s clearly more used to the Lancelot but apparently they enhanced it too much and made it a death machine like the Talgeese in Gundam Wing so Suzaku has to stick with the Lancelot. Looks like the Guren will have to sit and collect dust unless a certain pilot is rescued and then immediately has a convenient upgrade. Amazingly all the countries go along with everything Zero says and give up their militaries and have the Black Knights be the official military of the Federation. I don’t know how that works given that the Black Knights have been struggling to fight off one nation’s military idk how it’s supposed to substitute for a dozen nations’ military but I guess they conscript support and troops from the other nations or something. Charles comes back on the tv after the Federation is formed and is all “Awww what a cute little UN you have, fuck off bro.” which you’d think this’d be the perfect time for him to just out Lelouch as Zero and wreck the Black Knights’ morale but he doesn’t for some reason and they’re just gonna fight. Lelouch is freaking out and knows that having everyone want to murder the Britannian royal family includes Nunally so he calls Suzaku who just straight up goes “Bro cut the crap are you Zero or not?” and after so much plotting and scheming Lelouch just comes right out with it. Suzaki agrees to protect Nunally as long as Lelouch meets him alone at the Kururugi Shrine where this all began.

Inuyasha: This is another one of those Modern Day filler episodes which are always fun. There’s just something about Inuyasha running around in modern Japan being Spider-Man and saving people and catching bank robbers on the way to deliver Kagome’s lunch that’s so thoroughly entertaining. Basically Inuyasha spends this whole episode jittery that everyone’s so chill and ready to relax after Naraku just got away and is probably an inch from death but after a big adventure in the modern era where Kagome is as usual unprepared for her test, he ends up passing out on the bed after insisting a little battle with Naraku wouldn’t exhaust him. It’s a really cute little episode to let everyone bide some time and reflect on the past arc now that we’re starting a new wave of filler before we get to the Band of Seven and Mt. Hakurei stuff.

Yu Yu Hakusho: The first match of the tournament is about to begin and Botan, Shizuru, and Keiko come in with Koenma who is sick of baby jokes and puts on his bishonen disguise to impress everyone. There’s some neat lore about how they gave Koenma the guest team every year to bribe him into not shutting down the tournament without giving him anything of value and how the bloody show of the Dark Tournament pacifies the demons so they kill fewer humans, so that’s cool. Since Yusuke is still passed out, Kuwabara is de facto Captain and decides on simple one on one matches while the other team Captain just kinda roasts an eight of the crowd to see if it’ll wake Yusuke up. Kuwabara’s in the first match versus Prototype Killua, complete with afterimages and yo-yo tricks. They size each other up for a while and Kuwabara shrugs off getting his fucking neck broken surprisingly well while they go back and forth with “Well I can track YOU better” for a while. Togashi really loves his yo-yos of death so those have Kuwabara on the ropes and turn him into a fucking kite ready to slam back down into the arena, so yeah, Kuwabara’s having a rough time of it.

Fate Zero: Waver’s been having strange dreams about Iskandar, and not the ones people usually have about him. So he goes to get a basic history lesson on the historical figure that’s been chilling on his couch for a few weeks and spending all his money on xbox live arcade. They also go through all the ridiculously obvious historical inaccuracies and Iskandar’s just like “idk bro, I’m here so the book must be wrong” which is hilarious because Fate also does this with more modern historical figures that we have pictures of and shit so they basically sit there saying all historians have no idea what they’re talking about and gaslighting the field of history as a whole. On the way back Waver’s upset that Iskandar’s so awesome that it basically takes any effort on his part to win and it won’t be an actual achievement despite the fact that they’ve taken out like… one servant, MAYBE, and most of the other historical figures are equally over the top. But still Iskandar says that if your aspirations are big enough it doesn’t matter how big or small you are, everyone’s tiny in the grand scheme of things and clawing at greatness you can’t truly perceive is what matters. Also Caster and his boy have found the wreck they made of their workshop of dead bodies and are kinda fucked up about it but also ready to fuck up more people because God sucks or some shit. So Caster summons a Bloodborne monster which you think more people would notice and mention during Shirou’s time, like nobody in UBW ever said “Hey remember like seven years ago when a giant Bloodborne monster appeared in the river?” so I’m guessing there’s some kind of perception blocking going on. But yeah everyone’s gonna jump on the Bloodborne Monster next time for the season premiere.

Konosuba: So we pick up where we left off and Kazuma is working off his debt by… killing more toads. Wow this world really is like a video game, we get the same five enemies over and over again. However they’re fucked without Darkness throwing herself into monster orifices looking for a good time so Yunyun has to save them. We already met Yunyun in the OVA so it’s kinda weird to be re-introduced to her here in basically the same way but their relationship is basically like Gai and Kakashi if they only did the lame dorky challenges Kakashi suggested when he’s too lazy to think of a good one. Also there’s a cat now, I don’t think that really comes to anything, just a scene of Megumin going “we have a cat now” and everyone’s like “kay”. Kazuma and Megumin play Naked Chicken to see who can get more naked before the other backs down and end up taking a bath together because they’re both stubborn assholes. Also we get a quick snippet of Yunyun and Megumin’s backstories which you can basically make Yunyun’s the swing scene from Naruto (idk why Yunyun is bring out the Naruto references in me today) and Megumin is stealing bread like Les Miserables in increasingly bizarre and disgusting ways because she’s ridiculously poor or some shit.

Sailor Moon Crystal: So turns out that Usagi and Mamoru BOTH had their shots with the ‘fucks everything up’ sword with a pocketwatch and… the discarded gems of the four knights? Idk how that works given they were humans and also dead but what baffles me more is that both Usagi and Mamoru very obviously did not get hit by the sword but decided to fall down dead and not move for a couple minutes despite their shots very much being blocked and there being no blood. Anyway Queen Metalia has the crystal, bullshit is happening, 1000 years of darkness, you’ve seen Xiaolin Showdown, you know the drill. The remaining four Guardians get a cute little flashback of Usagi saying what she likes about them and then they give up their lives to revive her inside the dark energy blob of Queen Metalia and crystals and lights and shit happens and swords and wands are pulled out of nowhere and you know how a final boss goes, they beat it with the power of believing in themselves and shit like that. Also apparently the only difference between sealing Metalia away and killing her is hitting the giant bullseye on her forehead so yeah, hopefully she’s down for good this time. I don’t want to complain because this show was genre-defining but it’s hard to find things to say about something so generic and milktoast, it’s the Seinfeld problem where there’s been so many more interesting iterations that it’s just kinda “get on with it already” at this point. The only real markedly noticeable thing about it is how plainly and unashamedly it is about being a power fantasy for teen girls, and there’s something to that, harmless power fantasies can be fun but it just feels like the physical mechanics of this kind of progression being “She feels this shit REALLY HARD” is less exciting than some of the alternatives

Durarara!!: It’s the big Masaomi backstory episode and we get the whole deal of how he formed the Yellow Scarves and got into a relationship with Saki because Izaya wanted to orechestrate a gang war because that’s what Izaya does all day is orchestrate gang wars. It’s kind of amazing how many kids in this show are like “I don’t know how it happened but one thing led to another and suddenly I was at the head of one of the largest gangs in the city” like they kinda really yadda yadda over how that actually happens. But anyway Saki gets hurt in the gang war and Kadota’s gang has to save her because Masaomi’s adrenaline wears off at the last second and he can’t try and rush in and save her. I mean Dota’s van got there first anyway so how much he’d have been able to help would be doubtful but he feels bad about not even being able to try and Izaya says that fear and failure of his past will dominate his future actions which is exactly what he’s doing by letting his paranoia and frustration lead him to a war on the Saika army. Dota-chin tells him to face up to it and stop running or live with the shame of lying to Saki but Masomi can’t do that and his shame and determination to reverse the situation leads everyone into chaos as Anri discovers his secret.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Code Geass #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Fate Zero #Konosuba #Sailor Moon Crystal #Durarara!!

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judgmentofcorruption · 4 years

Text

Episode 10–The Court Ends; Scene 7

Judgment of Corruption, pages 303-316

It was thought that the revolts would quickly be suppressed by the release of the military.

But on the contrary, it was here that something unexpected occurred for the government. A portion of USE allied forces that they deployed defected to the side of the militia.

The former soldier Gammon likely laid the groundwork for that in advance.

Due to this, the fight spread to one of much larger scale, until what had at first been a simple uprising began to take on the look of a full-fledged civil war.

On August 10th, the Dark Star Bureau was attacked by the militia.

The allied forces and the soldiers of PN put up a fight, but they were at a loss against the militia’s strength of numbers, and in just eighteen hours the Dark Star Bureau fell into the militia’s hands.

The next day, reports surfaced that the chief of PN, Bruno Zero, had been captured by the militia.

Gallerian had somehow managed to escape from the militia’s clutches, and slipped out of the bureau.

He used a secret passageway hidden in the back of his fireplace—a device that had been used for the princess to escape from the palace in the “Daughter of Evil” story. The same thing had been put in the Dark Star Bureau.

While avoiding the public eye, Gallerian headed for his estate.

He was sure he had at least some final strength left to him for battle.

“Eater! Where are you!?”

Gallerian cried out the name of the one who controlled his dead soldiers—the “dead god”.

But there was no reply.

He couldn’t find that large frame anywhere in either the house or the gardens.

“…Maybe he ran away.”

The other dead god Lich must have still been with Ma in “Evils Theater” in Elphegort.

--Gallerian no longer had anyone left here he could count on as an ally.

He was the militia’s target. He had provoked too greatly the people’s animosity with his many corrupted judgments.

Gallerian knew that it would be dangerous to stay in his own home. He outfitted himself appropriately and then immediately moved to leave the mansion.

But once he saw what was outside his window, he halted.

“…I’m already surrounded…It’s too late.”

At that moment, running out there would be fatal. He turned on his heel and returned to the study, sitting down in his favorite chair.

And then, though I don’t know why, he switched on the radio that was sitting on his desk.

“—Breaking news. The corpse of Major General Tony Ausdin of the USE allied forces was recently discovered in the garden of his home. There were several wounds on his body, but the one thought to be the killing blow is a .44 calibre revolver bullet that was fired into his temple. General Tony was declared innocent in a trial held—”

After listening that far, he shut off the radio.

Then he noticed a smoking pipe that had been left next to the radio.

Something Ma had forgotten.

Gallerian picked it up and lit it.

Right after he put it to his mouth and sucked in the smoke,

“Cough”

He vigorously started hacking, and immediately set the pipe back down on the desk, putting it out.

“…Not my thing.”

He stood and this time passed his eyes over the bookcase next to him.

His eyes rested on the third shelf, whereon seven thin volumes that looked hand-written were lined up.

Other things Ma had forgotten.

The titles to each were written in small print on the spines.

The Lunacy of Duke Venomania

Evil Food Eater Conchita

The Daughter of Evil

Gift from the Princess Who Brought Sleep

The Tailor of Enbizaka

The remaining two works didn’t have titles written on them.

These were screenplays that were based on tales Ma had gathered on the seven Vessels of Deadly Sin.

“The Vessels of Deadly Sin…I’d been so close. I was—almost about to save Michelle.”

He took one of the screenplays in hand.

Then he sat back down in his chair.

“Michelle…Papa wasn’t able to save you. But at the very least, you must keep living. Where no one can find you, in that theater in the forest—”

After murmuring that, Gallerian leisurely opened the book and started to read.

The Dark Star Bureau had already fallen.

He no longer had any friends or colleagues.

The money that he had saved up was now worthless to him.

Having lost everything, this isolated man waited in his mansion for that moment.

As he read.

That moment when the enraged militiamen would break into his home.

“…They haven’t come in.”

Gallerian closed the book and put it on his desk.

He stood and then peered out his study window.

Just like before, the militia soldiers were surrounding the mansion.

“Why haven’t they advanced?”

There was no one in the mansion anymore to answer his question.

--Or at least, they shouldn’t have been.

“They’re waiting.”

Gallerian turned around in surprise at the voice he heard behind him.

Standing there—was a blue-haired man who looked similar to…or rather, exactly like Gallerian.

“They’re waiting for her to arrive. The person who would be most appropriate for killing you.”

“Who…are you?”

They were two Gallerians, facing each other.

“Who am I? What cruel words. Don’t you know this face better than anyone?”

“Ah…You are me. …No, that’s ridiculous. I can’t be standing in front of myself—”

“But it’s the truth. I am you, and you are me.”

The other Gallerian laughed mockingly.

--But I knew, watching from the side.

It was a terrible joke. He…though he may be identical in form—

He was not Gallerian.

Gallerian himself appeared to realize this.

“I see, you—are ‘Adam’. The being in the spoon.” So saying, Gallerian pulled out the spoon that he always kept on his person. “It was through contracting with you that I became able to speak to Michelle.”

“Correct. It is by my power that you were able to converse with the soul that resides inside the doll.”

“Michelle…lost her body in that incident. But her spirit lived on, and rests inside the doll. If I were to gather the ‘Vessels of Deadly Sin’, I could restore my daughter’s body to her once more—it is believing in that that has brought me this far.”

“But you failed. Before you could finish collecting them all--here you are in this sorry state. Why could you not notice sooner that your own sin would ruin you one of these days?”

As the two of them spoke to each other with their identical faces, I lost track of who was who.

Gallerian—no, Adam, started to laugh as though to make fun of the other.

”Keh heh heh. I’m disappointed in you. –Even with mine and ‘Eve’’s power you failed to gather the vessels, in the end.”

“And ‘Eve’ is?”

“The soul that resides in the doll—You thought that was your daughter, didn’t you? That crafty Ma had you completely fooled. But you’re mistaken. It’s Eve’s soul. Eve and I are fated to be attracted to each other…It’s for that reason that I can converse with her soul.”

“…No. That’s Michelle.”

“That’s what you want to believe, isn’t it? Your mind would be broken if you didn’t. It’s because you know how severe your own weakness is that you’ve clung so heavily to Eve’s soul and the Vessels of Deadly Sin. You’ve continued to accumulate money for an impossible wish. Ordinarily the ‘Marlon Spoon’ houses the demon of ‘Greed’—but whatever the case might have been, you had no need of that. Even without contracting with it, from the very start you’ve been a man greedy for what’s beyond his lot.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Keep saying that. –It is true that once you gather all the Vessels of Deadly Sin, a wish will be granted. But that wish is mine and Eve’s. Once all are assembled, Eve and I will have a second advent. We will recreate this broken-down world. And then we will enjoy eternal happiness in our true Utopia—”

“You’re wrong!” Gallerian cried in rage, moving to knock the other man against the wall.

But his hand passed right through Adam’s body.

“You certainly are obstinate. –Very well. How about I have the very woman herself come here? I’ll call the doll here now…and then we’ll ask her directly whether her soul is that of ‘Eve’ or ‘Michelle’.”

“Can you…do that?”

“I can. Didn’t Ma tell you? I have the power to weaken the repulsion effect of the Vessels of Deadly Sin. Naturally, this isn’t normally a power I can actively use, myself. The power is endowed to the person that I contract with. …However. During my long years of wandering the world, I made my own studies. As long as I am in the middle of contracting with someone, I can receive the benefits of this power. And if I use it skillfully enough—”

“—No, hold on. This place is surrounded by the militia right now. Don’t call her here under these conditions!”

Gallerian tried to stop him, but it apparently fell on deaf ears.

“Now then—come here, Eve!”

--There was no severe change or anything like that.

There was no sound, no flash of light.

She just appeared there beside Gallerian and Adam.

Bizarrely, as she sat in her wheelchair, she was no longer a small doll.

She was the same size as a person—as though she were a living human being.

Even I couldn’t tell if that was reality, or else some illusion that Adam was displaying.

--Well, that’s only natural. I am just a bat, after all.

“Eve!”

“Michelle…”

The two of them both spoke up to the doll at the same time.

When they did, the doll’s eyes quietly opened.

Those calm blue-green eyes looked at the two of them.

“…There’s two of you, Papa?”

The doll inclined its head curiously.

“I’m not your Papa. It’s me, Eve—It’s Adam. Your husband.”

Adam sprang towards the doll.

“No. You’re Michelle, aren’t you? Papa’s beloved daughter.”

Undaunted, Gallerian approached the doll.

The doll compared both of their faces for a short time, but eventually she suddenly faced Gallerian and said, “Papa. I want to see outside.”

“…O-of course. Right away…”

Despite appearing confused, Gallerian went to move the wheelchair so that the doll was facing the window to the outside.

“Who are those people out there?”

“…They’re militia. A revolt—a war has broken out in this country. They’re angry with me, and are all leading an assault on this place.”

“That’s terrible! You haven’t done anything wrong, Papa!”

“No…I—”

“It’s alright, Papa. I—will protect you.”

The color of the doll’s eyes seemed to faintly change.

And immediately afterward—

“AAAAAUGH!”

Screams became audible from outside the window.

One of the militia-men was writhing, blue flames billowing up from his body.

“Did…you do that, Michelle?”

“Don’t worry. That fire only burns people, so it won’t catch on the trees in the garden, or the house.”

One by one, the militia solders burst into flame. They didn’t seem to have any idea what was happening. They tried to put out the fire on their comrades even as they flew into a panic.

The doll said happily to Gallerian, “Everyone at the theater tells me this: ‘You and us are one and the same’. –But they’re wrong. ‘Cause I have this incredible power I can use.”

Gallerian was speechless.

And behind him, Adam was trembling all over.

“What…is that power. Eve…can’t…do that. Who the hell—are you!?”

The doll replied to that question, as though it were perfectly normal, “I am—Papa’s daughter. No more, no less.”

“…Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuah…” Then Adam suddenly started to wail pitifully, “Ma, you bitch! You fucking set me up! This isn’t Eve. This is—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!”

Gallerian gazed upon this scene with a cool expression.

“Have you broken, Adam?”

“Ha ha ha! Satisfied? Are you satisfied, now that you’ve beaten me, Gallerian!? But! You’re mistaken! We’ve both lost! We were both deceived! Not just with the doll. There’s a secret that woman didn’t tell you! –Did you think Bruno was your friend? Then I pity you. Even he lied to you. He figured that secret out but he didn’t tell you!”

“What are you saying? I don’t at all get what you’re—That’s enough now, isn’t it Adam? Send Michelle back to the forest where she was.”

“NO! My contract with you is now over! I’m going back to the forest alone—And you two can stay here and burn away in this house together! HA HA HA!”

And with those as his parting words, Adam disappeared with a pop.

The only ones left were Gallerian, and—

An ordinary doll, no longer able to move.

With Adam gone, and the contract between him and Gallerian broken—it was now powerless.

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solavillain · 5 years

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Pas de Deux Ch 6: Together

+pairing: Spinel x fem!Reader +genre: Drama, romance, angst, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers +warnings: None (for now) +word count: 6.5K +Chapter 6 / ? previous || next

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Spinel was in awe, to say the least. It felt like every point of contact with you was on fire, every nerve in her body was heightened. It had been so long since she had contact like this with someone...in fact, had she ever had anything like this? She can barely think of anything else but you right now. The soft, steady sound of your breathing as you sleep, the small noises you make as you shift against her, and the way you sigh happily when she gives you a little squeeze.

She can almost forget how she’s probably messed everything up with you. All she wanted was to be your friend, at first, but now...is it possible to want something more with you? Even though it’s impossible for you to want the same?

Spinel sighs, and tries to clear the panicked thoughts from her mind. She could worry later. For now, she wants to just enjoy this night with you in her arms...

x * x * x * x * x

You wake slowly, your body totally relaxed, feeling incredibly well rested. It takes you a moment to register where you are, and another moment to realize what- or who- you're resting on.

Spinel must have moved you in the night; you’re no longer on her left side with your head on her shoulder. Instead you’re sitting in between her legs, head tucked under her chin, right near her gem. You blink in surprise as you look at it- you've never seen it this close before, and hadn’t realized how faceted and large it really is in comparison to the lanky Gem.

In that moment, Spinel shifts and squeezes you slightly, prompting you to close your eyes and smile slightly to yourself. No matter your conflicted feelings towards her, you can’t deny that this level of contact just feels wonderful. It had been a while since you’d gotten to spend the night with someone like this, and even though these were bizarre circumstances, you can’t help but feel happy here.

Spinel doesn’t seem to have realized you’re awake yet, and you're considering pretending to still be asleep, when a shiver wracks your body, making you sit upright involuntarily. You realize Spinel had basically unwrapped herself from you at some point, save for her arms around your waist a few times around. It had stopped raining, so she must have assumed you would be warm again, but hadn’t considered the early morning chill. From what little you could see of the sky in your lean-to, it couldn’t have been later than 5 or 6 am, the sun hadn’t been up long enough to warm the island up.

“Oh! Uh, good mornin’,” Spinel says, meeting your eyes after you sit up.

“Hi,” you say plainly. “Sorry if I startled you, I guess I got cold again...at least it stopped raining though?”

Spinel nods and answers, “Nah, you’re fine, just wasn’t expectin’ you to be up so early. The rain stopped a few hours ago I think...I kinda lost track of time.”

You give her a sleepy smile and stretch your arms above your head with a yawn (not noticing Spinel’s eyes grow as wide as dinner plates) and stare out to the campsite, mourning your poor fire.

“Wish I’d been able to bring some sweaters or something,” you mumble to yourself, wrapping your arms around your knees.

Spinel winces visibly and reaches out a tentative hand to you. “Well, I- If ya wanna go back to sleep, you can...” she trails off and looks down at her hand, and you quickly realize what she means.

“Oh...thanks, Spins, I think I’ll just stay up for now...” you glance back outside, “Actually, I might walk around a bit, see what else I can find in terms of food or other stuff?”

You climb out of the lean-to as you’re talking, prompting Spinel to follow you.

“Y-yeah, okay! D’ya want me to come with?” Spinel asks eagerly, following you around the camp as you pick up debris from the storm.

At her question, you stop what you’re doing and turn to her. “Oh, uh...I was hoping I might have some time alone, if that’s okay? I just... I need some alone time every now and then.”

You offer her what you hope to be a sympathetic look, as you know that doesn’t sound great after literally spending the night together.

Spinel’s face turns a pale pink as she blanches and crosses her arms. “That’s...fine,” she manages to get out. You can tell she’s wary at being left alone, but you really do just need some time. Time to yourself, to think, to figure everything out.

“I won’t be more than an hour or so,” you tell the Gem, and you see her relax slightly.

“That’s good,” you think, slightly surprised at how easy that conversation went compared to last time, when she had been rejuvenated and Steven was leaving her behind. “She definitely seems to be trying to work through her issues.”

Once you’ve cleared the camp of most of the fallen leaves and branches, you grab a banana from the small storage lean-to. Miraculously, most of the bananas are fine, save for a few that have fallen out of the wrapped leaves. You bid Spinel goodbye for now, and make your way to the beach.

You had told the Gem you wanted to look for supplies, and while that was true to an extent, now you want to just lie on the sand in the warm sun. You finish your banana, toss the peel, and plop down, spreading your arms out and soaking in the morning rays.

Back in Beach City, you were used to spending a lot of your time alone. Sure, you had your coworkers at the café, and you hung out with the Gems when they were free, but you really valued the time you had to yourself. You would frequently take walks on the beach or boardwalk at night, listening to music or just gazing out at the moon-lit sea. You had a collection of books that you loved to take to the café when you weren’t working, and enjoyed just sitting, reading, and sipping on your drink of choice for the day. Hell, even when you would spend time with Pearl, you two would often just co-exist in the same place, Pearl working on something in the house while you read a book or surfed the various apps on your phone.

Having Spinel around...was nicer than you thought it would be, especially last night, but even now she’s acting like you’re the new Steven, like you’re her new best friend. You can’t tell if she genuinely cares for you or if she’s just so incredibly lonely that she’s latched onto you for treating her differently than everyone else had. You wish you could believe it was the former, but...you just have no idea.

“Ughhh,” you groan, and sit up in frustration. Why does everything have to be so complicated with her?

You think back to how you felt last night, and this morning, waking up in her arms. That...didn’t feel so complicated at the time. It just felt nice, and comforting. Why couldn’t it feel that easy all the time? Why did your brain have to constantly remind you of what she’s done, of how she really is? Or was, at least. Spinel has definitely been keeping her anger in check since that first day, and you can tell she thinks about her actions as much as you do, if not more.

“Why can’t I just let myself forgive her?” you think, burying your face in your hands. “I guess...I just need more time.”

Shaking your head, you stand up and walk towards the water, wading in up to your ankles. The water is fairly warm around this time of year, so you’re grateful that you won’t be freezing if you ever decide to go for a swim. Suddenly, movement to your left catches your eye- a reflection off of a few fish in the sun, swimming close to shore with the gentle waves.

An idea pops into your head- something that will give you and Spinel something to do other than mope around, and at the end, you’ll possibly have a new source of food.

x * x * x * x * x

You make your way back to the camp, eager to tell your idea to Spinel. Luckily, she hasn’t wandered off to another part of the island.

“Spinel!” You call out as you approach the camp. You hear the popping before you see it, but as you come into the clearing, you can clearly see the roaring fire in the center radiating warmth.

“Oh, wow, you got the fire going? Thank you so much,” you say gratefully to the Gem, who is sitting by the small waterfall.

“Eh, no problem, Y/n. Figured I could do something while you were out, too,” she says happily, looking proudly on the lit fire. Her eyebrows furrow and she looks back to you, confused.

“Say, weren’t you gatherin’ stuff just now? You didn’t come back with anything.”

“Oh! Right, that,” you say with a chuckle. “I was going to look for more leaves and branches and stuff for the lean-to and the fire, but I went to the beach and I saw fish!”

You grin expectantly at her, but she still looks confused, standing up and scratching her head.

“Uh...what’s fish?” she asks simply.

“O-oh, right, Gem and all. I forgot,” you say, excitement not deterred by Spinel’s lack of fish knowledge. “It’s just something that lives in the sea, but if we catch them and cook them, I can eat something other than bananas!”

Spinel gives you a slight smirk, amused at your enthusiasm. “Well all right, let’s go get some fish!”

The two of you make your way back to the beach, and you’re relieved to see the fish haven’t swam off. In fact, there seem to be more shimmering fish than there were earlier. You’re incredibly thrilled at the prospect of eating something other than bananas, so you look around for a stick you can whittle into a point.

After you find one near the edge of the trees, you grab a rock and head back down to the waves, where Spinel is inspecting the water.

“Oh yeah, I guess you haven’t had much time to check out the ocean,” you remark, sitting down and sharpening the end of the stick.

“It’s certainly interesting,” Spinel remarks, bending down to inspect some shells left behind by the tide.

You watch her while you whittle and smile to yourself. Seeing Gems learn about Earth for the first time has always made you appreciate your home planet more, but something about seeing Spinel like this makes your heart happy.

After a few more moments, you inspect the end of your stick, and decide that it’s to your liking.

“All right! Let’s get this show on the road!” you announce, standing in what you hope to be an authoritative pose.

“Oh yeah? What show? All I see is you,” Spinel teases, snorting in laughter.

Your pose falls, and you give her a teasing roll of the eyes. “Ahh, you’re no fun. I am the show, baby!”

With that you make your way slowly into the water, careful to not disturb the nearby school of fish. You realize Spinel is still standing on the shore, and you turn back and cock an eyebrow up at her.

“Well? You coming in or what?”

Spinel looks from you out to the distant waves, then back to you, and grins. She begins wading in, flinching slightly when a wave breaks over her legs, and you giggle at the Gem. She’s definitely not quite used to all the oddities of your planet, but in a way, you’re proud of her for trying to adapt so quickly.

After a moment she’s in the waist high water with you, and you send a playful splash over her way, a teasing grin on your face.

“Heh, hey darlin’, thought you were gonna catch some fish? Don’t get distracted now,” she teases back, her eyes slightly narrowed.

You chuckle and nod, “All right, all right. Food now, play later. Let’s hope I’m coordinated enough for this...”

You make your way over to where the school of fish is swimming, being careful not to disturb any of the sand. You pick your target- a larger fish in the center of the school- and ready your stick above the water.

“All right...and...”

You strike down hard- too hard. The fish moves before you can spear it, and the force of your swing sends your feet flying out from under you and plants you face first into the water. A wave breaks over you in that instant, and you’re having a hard time getting to your feet, when-

“Y/n!!”

Spinel lifts you up from behind, supporting under your arm with one hand and steadying your back with the other.

“Are you okay? That looked...not fun,” Spinel remarks in a worried tone.

But you just burst out laughing. Of all the things to do...of course you would fall face first in the water. You know you must have looked ridiculous, and can’t help laughing more at that mental image.

“W-what? Well I guess you’re okay, doll...” Spinel says, a smile easing onto her face now that she knows you’re okay.

“Hah...oh man...yeah, I’m fine, Spinel, thanks,” you say as the laughter dies down. “Oh gosh...I can’t believe I just did that. I mean, the ocean can be a bitch, but it’s so calm here and...ahh, that was hilarious.”

You take note that Spinel still holds onto you, and you can’t help but flush at the contact, reminded of spending last night in her arms. It feels like your every nerve is on fire when she touches you...

“It did look pretty funny,” Spinel says with a laugh, bringing you out of your thoughts. “You just kinda...plopped forward! It was great!” She’s full on grinning now, and it’s infectious- you can’t help but grin back and start laughing again. Suddenly, all cravings for fish forgotten, you get an idea.

“Oh yeah? I was funny, huh? Well how bout this?” On your last word, you send a giant splash her way, giggling at her taken aback expression when it washes over the top of her head.

But when the water clears, you literally take a step back at her expression, eyes going wide. She looks positively mischievous, her eyes narrowed and a wicked grin on her face.

“Now now, dollface, d’ya really wanna mess with me?”

She giggles in a devilishly playful way, and begins to spin her torso and arms around, not unlike a spin top, sending water flying every direction, including directly at you. You can hear her laughter above the other sounds, and you can’t help but join in, even as she inches closer to you, prompting you to cover your face in surrender, still laughing.

“All right, all right, I think you made your point, Spins,” you call out, ducking your head to avoid getting saltwater in your eyes. The nickname is certainly very fitting for the current situation. The pink Gem slows, still wearing a huge grin, and looks triumphantly down at you.

“Ha! I win!” She exclaims in a sing song voice, folding her arms in front of her.

You chuckle and take her by the hand, leading her back to shore. “Yeah, you win. Don’t rub it in, hmm?” you say with a shake of your head.

Once you arrive on shore, you look back out to the water and sigh.

“So much for delicious fish...”

“Aw, don’t worry about it, yeah? We can always try again some other time,” Spinel says, patting your back gently. You look up at the taller gem and offer her a small smile.

“Yeah, that’s true. I can live with bananas for now, anyway.”

After all that work and fun, you wish you could just lie in the warm sand and take a nap, but your clothes are soaked. You want them to be dry by nightfall, so you know it’s time to head back to the camp. Besides, you need some more water and bananas.

“Well, let’s head back for now,” you say to Spinel, “I’m getting a bit chilly, let’s sit by the fire.”

Spinel shoots you a shy smile and nods, following you back through the trees to your base.

“It’s so interesting learnin’ about humans,” Spinel remarks, “I mean, stuff like rain, the ocean, the cold...it doesn’t really affect me, y’know? Seeing you have to deal with all that, it’s kinda weird, but intriguing at the same time. I almost want to know what it feels like,” she finishes with a chuckle.

“What, being cold? Or just weather in general?” you say teasingly.

She snorts in response. “Nah, just...being human? I guess? It’s dumb,” she says, ducking her head in shyness as she sits down by the fire.

Your eyebrows shoot up at her admission- you can’t ever recall hearing a Gem talk about wanting to be human, not even Amethyst or Lapis. Spinel must really be hurting inside to want to just...be something else entirely.

“Ah, Spinel...”

You wring out your wet shirt and shorts to the best of your ability before sitting down beside her. You hesitate before placing a hand on her upper arm, wanting to reassure her that you’re here.

“I know that with everything you’ve been through...it must be so tough to just exist for so long, I guess, but being human isn’t all that great. Hell, it’s not all that different from being a Gem. Well, besides the aging and the weather and...no cool powers...”

You stop yourself, sighing and looking down. “Ah, I’m crap at this, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to say...you’re great the way you are, Spinel. And hey, you’re on Earth now, you can still experience all this stuff, even if it’s not in the exact same way that humans experience it.”

You offer her a patient smile, which she returns happily.

“You’re not so bad at this, Y/n,” Spinel says softly, wiping at her eyes. “And uh...I’m glad I’m experiencing stuff now. Here.”

You nod and gaze into the fire, mind racing a million miles a minute. Finally, you find the words to reply, “Yeah. Me too.”

x * x * x * x * x

After your clothes have dried (it took longer than you expected- you knew it would have gone faster if you’d taken them off but you were not about to strip in front of Spinel), you and Spinel stay out by the fire a while longer, until well past sunset. You munch on bananas as you talk, telling her about your childhood, how you visited Beach City every summer with your parents, and couldn’t keep away after you left home for college. She told you about what little time she’d spent on Homeworld, but she mostly recounted more of her days in the Garden with Pink- how looking back now she could see that Pink had been uninterested and even annoyed with her antics sometimes. But what was she supposed to do? It was what she had been made for.

You both fell silent for a while after that, you being unsure how to comfort the Gem, and Spinel simply lost in her memories.

The minutes pass, and you can feel your eyes grow heavier with sleep, but some part of you doesn’t want to go into the shelter alone just yet. You try to force yourself to stay awake, to stay out here by the fire with her. But just as it had the night before, your head lolls to the side onto Spinel’s shoulder...

“Woah there, you okay?” Spinel asks, cupping your head with her left hand.

“Hmm?...O-oh!” You shoot up, extremely embarrassed, and you can feel your face flushing like hell. “S-sorry, Spinel, I got warm and sleepy, I’m sorry...”

“Hey, no need to apologize, darlin’. You seem tired, yeah? Wanna go to bed?” she asks in a comforting voice.

“Mhm...yeah, I think I need to,” you reply, standing up and stretching with a yawn. “Goodnight, Spinel.”

You send her a soft smile before heading into the lean-to, thoughts racing.

“She keeps calling me all these pet names...is it just a habit? Because of how she speaks? Why do I care?”

You plop to the ground with a groan and try to get comfortable on your leaf bed for the night. You can’t deny that you feel like something has changed today, with your feelings towards Spinel and the way she’s acting...but it’s just too confusing to think about. It can wait until morning...

x * x * x * x * x

When you wake, it’s not a stream of morning sunlight that greets you, but soft moonlight. You’re facing the center of camp and the fire has died down slightly, but luckily, it’s a warmer night so you barely notice a chill. But you can’t see Spinel anywhere...where is she?

Before you can start to panic about where she might have gone, you hear a voice from just outside the tent.

“I know I never should have done all this, but...I was scared, Y/n,” Spinel says. It seems like she’s continuing some conversation...has she been talking to you while you slept? You don’t know if this counts as an invasion of privacy, but you want to know what she has to say, so you make sure to stay very still and act as if you’re still asleep.

“I was scared that no one could ever like me for who I am, so I lashed out. But then...you seemed to like me. Even when I was annoying and innocent, you were patient and kind to me. And then I go and do this...”

She trails off, and you hear her sniff- she's crying softly. Your heart aches; you want to go out and comfort her, but you’re frozen in place. Too scared to face her right now, you stay and listen.

“I- I just care about ya so much, and I’ve never...felt like this before. So when Steven...when I thought he was gonna make me forget again, I just panicked and took you and ran. You were right that first day- I didn’t think anything through. I just wanted to have you around, but...”

Spinel sighs, “I don’t know why I’m even doin’ this...I can’t seem to talk to ya when you’re awake, not to say the things I really want to say, so...what’s the point.”

She picks herself up off the ground, and moves back by the fire, stoking it until the flames grow again. You can’t bear to watch her anymore, so you turn around to face the wall of the lean-to, wondering how you’ll ever get back to sleep with this new information rattling around in your head.

“I guess this answers the question of how she feels about me...”

When the morning comes, your stomach does flips at the first sight of Spinel, who is just arriving back from a walk as you emerge from the shelter. You try desperately to hide any emotion from your face, but you can’t help giving her a small smile as she heads toward you.

“Mornin’, Y/n!” Spinel says cheerfully, any hint of the sadness from last night gone. “Took a walk around again, and I even took a crack at makin’ ya something...”

She pulls out a newly whittled fishing stick from behind her back, and you grin.

“Think I should try again, huh?” you remark, taking the spear and inspecting it.

“Hey, I saw all those faces you were making eating those bananas last night,” she replies with a giggle. “Figured it couldn’t hurt to keep at it, yeah?”

You nod enthusiastically in reply. “Yeah, for sure! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy bananas, but...eating them for 3 days straight has been very...odd,” you inform the Gem, “Let me just get ready and we can go try again!”

After a while, you head over to the beach where you saw the fish yesterday. It’s cloudier today, so it won’t be as easy to spot the shimmering scales without the sun. Spinel heads right into the water to help, able to get a great vantage point if she stretches her legs. You can’t help but stare at the Gem now towering above you.

“Gosh she’s pretty,” you think almost involuntarily, and then make a face at yourself. “The hell? Ugh, what is happening to my brain...”

But still, you can’t tear your eyes away from Spinel, who’s oblivious to your gaze. She’s completely focused on her self-assigned task, and you can’t help but recall when she used her stretchiness the other night to help you in a different way.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by her voice from above, calling out that she’s spotted some fish a little further down the beach. You head over, once again careful not to disturb the sand.

You get into position slowly, and make your swing at a random fish, but once again, you’re too slow. Luckily this time you don’t plummet face first into the surf, but you’re disappointed all the same.

“Aw, Y/n, it’s okay,” Spinel says, snapping back to her usual height and walking over to you. “We can try for as long as ya like, ok?”

You sigh and agree, trying not to be too discouraged. Spinel squeezes your arm once and rushes forward, eager to keep scouting. You blush and follow her, realizing that you may need to figure out your emotions eventually.

“I can’t keep ignoring this,” you think, your heart pounding fast.

The following hours are rather grueling for you, especially as the sun starts to come out from behind the clouds and heat the island up. While that makes it slightly easier to spot fish, you still need Spinel’s help for some of it (and it’s definitely not an excuse to stare at her while she can’t see you).

All the while you’re trying to work through your thoughts and feelings towards the Gem. Logically, you know you should still be wary of her, but since that first day she’s not given you any reason to distrust her or even fear her. And she clearly regrets what she’s done...though that makes you wonder why she hasn’t chosen to take you back.

“Maybe something happened to the injector when she left it somewhere?” you rationalize while following a school of fish. You shake your head and try to focus, thinking of how delicious a nice warm fish would be to end the day.

You pick out your target and once again swing down, hoping...

Squish.

“Oh! Oh!” you cry out happily as you pull your stick from the surf. Sure enough, there’s a fairly big fish impaled at the end, and you managed to get it so that there’s plenty of fish left to cook.

“Did ya get something?” Spinel calls out, heading over to you from her spotting position.

“Yes! Ahh this is great!” you say, jumping up and down with joy. “And it only took four hours!”

“Seriously, great job, doll,” Spinel compliments, “You worked hard for this.”

You give her a grateful smile. “Well I’m glad to have had your help, Spins. Couldn’t have done it without you.” You nudge her with your shoulder as you both head back to shore, prompting her to blush and scratch the back of her neck.

“Aw gee, it’s no problem...like I said, can’t stand seeing ya make those faces at the bananas anymore,” she jokes halfheartedly. You can tell she’s flattered, though, and the thought makes you feel all warm and happy.

As you both walk back to the camp, slimy fish in hand, you’re struck with an unfortunate thought- you have no idea how to cook a fish, at least not well. Every fish you’ve ever eaten has either been at a restaurant, or already skinned, frozen, and cut in a nice filet, ready to pop in the oven.

“I’m just gonna have to wing it,” you figure.

Thankfully only your bottom half got wet from the waves this time, so no need to dry off before doing anything. You get right to it- attempting to fashion some sort of table atop the fire to place your fish on, wrapping it in leaves, and then you wait. You have no idea if this will work or not, so you’ve resigned yourself to bananas in the off chance it ends up being a bust.

In the meantime, you sit in the shade by the waterfall, sipping and trying to cool down. Spinel sits next to you after adding more twigs to the roaring fire.

“Well, that was a productive day,” you remark as she seats herself next to you.

“Tell me about it,” Spinel replies, “I’m all stretched out!”

She strikes a dramatic pose, hand to her forehead, and then deflates into what can only be described as Spinel spaghetti.

You crack up at the sight, endlessly amused at the different ways she can use her stretchiness for so many different things.

“Damn, Spins, that looks...interesting,” you say through your laughter, causing her to spring back to her normal self.

“Hey, I get the feelin’ that ‘interesting’ meant something else there, toots,” she says with a teasing smile, her eyes narrowed. Your heart jumps at the look she’s giving you, and you have to look away, her gaze becoming too much for you.

“H-hey, just saying what I’m thinking,” you reply, staring down into the pond and blushing.

“That’s somethin’ I like about you, Y/n,” Spinel replies, her tone completely serious now. “You’re never one to beat around the bush. It’s admirable. It’s...something I wish Pink would have been able to do for me.”

She leans back on her hands and sighs, staring straight ahead. You place a tentative hand atop hers in what you hope to be a comforting gesture.

“I understand,” you say simply, “but...I’m not Pink, y’know? I get that she hurt you, but it’s over now...you don’t have to give her the power to hurt you anymore.”

Spinel’s eyes widen, and you’re surprised to see that for once, she doesn’t cry when Pink is brought up. Instead she smiles, the kindest, gentlest smile you’ve ever seen, and her eyes light up as you gaze into them.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “I-”

She stops herself suddenly, a confused look falling over her face. “What’s that smell?”

You sniff the air as well, and bolt up when you realize what it is.

“Ah, damn it! Nooo,” you cry, trying to move the hot leaf-wrapped fish from the makeshift grill you had crafted. It’s incredibly hot, but you grab another nearby leaf and shimmy the fish onto that, making sure not to drop it into the sand.

You let out a sigh of relief as you open the leaf and see that the fish is cooked and not, in fact, burnt. The leaf is slightly burned through at the bottom where it was facing the open flame, but peeling that off peels off some of the fish skin, and you can see that the meat underneath actually looks decently similar to fish you’ve eaten in the past.

“Success!” you cry triumphantly, grinning back at Spinel. She watches you bemusedly, not moving from her perch on the rocks.

“Well, go ahead, try it!” she encourages.

You do- and it’s amazing. The skin left on leaves something to be desired, you’d normally eat around the skin or opt for a skinless fillet at home- but beggars can’t be choosers, and you’re grateful to have a hot meal for the first time in almost a week. It’s flavorful, too, probably thanks to the combination of it being so fresh, the open flame, and maybe even the leaf you wrapped it in for cooking.

“That good, huh?” Spinel remarks as you let out an involuntary sigh of happiness. “Maybe I’ll have to try somethin’ one of these days.”

“Hey, you can try some of this if you want,” you reply, offering the fish to your companion.

But Spinel makes a face as she stares at the cooked fish, and you giggle in response.

“Maybe I’ll try a banana or something tomorrow instead,” Spinel comments, shuddering while still staring at the fish. You laugh out loud and go back to your catch of the day, pleased with the way everything has turned out so far.

x * x * x * x * x

A while later, you’ve finished your dinner and the sun has started to dip below the horizon line, making your section of the island rather dark. You’re doing some last minute clean up with Spinel when she suddenly stops and turns to you.

“H-hey, do you wanna go for a walk while we still have some daylight?” she asks.

“Sure, that sounds nice...let me just finish piling up this extra kindling,” you reply, and try to hurry the task along. Spinel stands at the edge of the tree line, fidgeting and looking nervous for some reason. You stride over her and try to give her a comforting look, but she won’t meet your eyes anymore. The thought that you might have done something wrong makes your heart sink, and you follow her to the beach without another word.

As you break through the tree line to the shore, Spinel turns abruptly and begins walking, her longer legs making it difficult for you to keep pace with her. You walk behind her for a few minutes, fretting about why she might suddenly be acting this way.

“What did I do? Did I make her mad somehow?”

You run through every little interaction you’ve had in the past few hours, but nothing stands out to you as something that could have angered the pink Gem.

After another few minutes of quick walking, you call out to Spinel.

“Hey, can you...can you slow down, maybe? I can’t keep up, is something wrong?”

You try to keep the worry out of your voice but you can hear that you fail. Your voice sounds small and meek, and suddenly you don’t care anymore. You just want to know what’s wrong so you can try to remedy it. You don’t know when exactly you started caring for Spinel so deeply, but in this instant, you realize that the past...what she’s done to you...it doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve seen her regret and you’ve seen her trying to grow and change for the better, and you just want to see her happy. And maybe one day, she can be happy with you...

“N-nothin’s wrong, Y/n,” Spinel replies shakily, “Listen, I...”

She sighs and wraps her arms around herself, her posture looking strangely human.

“I’ve been thinking that...there’s no point to you staying here anymore,” Spinel finally says, looking downcast. “I can’t keep you here forever and you deserve to be with your friends, with people you care about, with...food you can eat that isn’t bananas or fish,” she continues with a sad chuckle.

“I’ll take ya back to Beach City, Y/n.”

You can feel your mouth drop open, trying to find the words to reply. This is not at all what you had expected her to say. Take you back...?

“Spinel, I...” you start, and then something registers.

“You said you’d take me back. What about you? Will you come back with me?”

Spinel shakes her head sadly, and turns to the sunset, the sky a beautiful vibrant orange. But in this moment it only feels gloomy.

“I- I can’t go back there. I’ve done so much bad in the short time I’ve been on Earth, and the way we left...I’m better off being alone where I can’t hurt anyone else. Including you.”

You shake your head vigorously and rush to Spinel’s side, willing her to look you in the eyes.

“Spinel, you don’t know them like I do, if we all sit down and talk about everything and show them that you’ve changed, it will be fine! They’ll forgive you and you can have a chance to start over!”

Spinel rolls her eyes and rounds on you, her eyes wild and sad. “Changed? I haven’t changed! I’m still angry all the time, Y/n! I’m still miserable all the time! How can I show them something that hasn’t happened?”

Tears well in the corners of her eyes, and your heart breaks. You take her hands and squeeze, trying to ground her.

“Spinel, you have changed. I know it’s hard for you to see it, but even when it’s just us talking, I can tell you’ve been getting better. You didn’t even cry when we were talking about Pink earlier,” you point out, giving her a hopeful smile.

A small sob wracks the Gem’s body and she turns away, shutting her eyes.

“I just...can’t go back there right now.”

You nod in understanding and let go of her hands as you watch the emotions subside.

“Then I’ll stay here with you.”

Spinel’s head whips back to you in surprise, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“What...? Y/n, you don’t have to do that for me,” she replies softly.

“I’m not doing it for you,” you reply plainly, “Or at least...not totally.”

You flush as you try to find the right way to phrase this, to tell her about what you’ve been feeling the past few days.

“Spinel, ever since I met you, you’ve felt...different, than anyone I’ve met before. And that’s not just because you’re a Gem- I know loads of Gems back in Beach City. They’re some of my best friends. But when I met you the first time, before you were rejuvenated...I could see the pain in your eyes, in your actions. I was scared of you at the time, but I was also sad for you. Then meeting your ‘past’ self, you were just so full of life, of energy. And a little mischievous,” you say with a laugh, earning a chuckle from Spinel as well.

“But when I learned what had happened to you, I can’t tell you how that felt. I thought I was going to throw up or pass out from the pain, and I can’t even begin to imagine how that had felt for you. How it must have caused your form to change...” you glance sadly at her gem, before continuing.

“And yeah, you may have messed up by bringing me here, and I know I was mad at you for a while, but...I’m not anymore. And I don’t even want to just be friends with you, I...I want something more,” you confess, the last few words quiet.

“But I know you and I see who you are and I just think you’re wonderful-”

And suddenly, you find you can’t speak anymore.

Because Spinel is kissing you.

#spinel #spinel x reader #spinel steven universe #spinel x reader fic #spinel fanfiction #steven universe #pas de deux #spinel x reader fanfiction #spinel reader #spinel fic

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rorynne · 5 years

Text

Of Geese and Men

Square: College @clintbartonbingo

Rating: G

Warning: Fluff, Geese, Goose harassment. College au, Physics Homework

Pairing: Clint Barton/Reader

A/n: This is also part of @geosaurusrrex 2k milestone event with the prompt “I need your homework because a goose ate mine. DONT ASK HOW”

Summary: You were having an average day until Clint Barton decides to harass a goose.

You sat in the cafeteria eating your lunch and reading a book as you waited for your next class. It had been a rather typical day until a very wet, tall, vaguely familiar blond man approached you. You damn near jumped out of your skin when he slammed his hands down on the table, dripping water all over it. “You’re in Pym’s applied physics class.” He stated more than asked, which only served to confuse you more at his state. “I need your help.”

You blinked at the man, moving your things away from his dripping form as you tried to piece together what the hell was going on. “What?” was all that you managed to say to the man, completely dumbfounded. You had too many questions to know what to even begin to ask.

He huffed, carding his hand through his short hair. “I need your homework because a goose ate mine.”

Homework? Geese? What the hell was he even talking about? You shook your head, still reeling from the shock of it all, “How?”

“Don’t ask how!” He groaned, rubbing his face. “It’s a long story. I just need your homework, I’ve been doing the bare minimum in Pym’s class and I can’t afford to take a zero on it.” Slowly, things started to piece together. You remembered seeing him occasionally, rarely even, in your physics class, albeit in a much drier state. Clint was his name if you remembered correctly. But that wasn’t what mattered at the moment, instead, you were more focused on something else.

“We had homework?!” You squeaked out as you scrambled to take out your course syllabus from your bag.

“You’re kidding,” Clint said in horrified disbelief. “You’re the only person who even pays attention in his class. How could you not know? He assigned it a month ago.” You shot him a glare as the syllabus confirmed his claims. Two full chapters of course work due the day of the first test. You wanted to vomit. You had been working your ass off to get on the Dean’s list this semester. But now all of your efforts felt wasted, all because of one little mistake. If you weren’t so shocked, you’d cry.

Clint seemed to notice your distress, quickly changing his entire demeanor. “Hey, it’s okay.” He reassured. “It’s gonna be okay. We’ve got, what, two hours til Pym’s class?” He glanced at the clock on the wall, confirming the time with a nod. Looking back down at you, he picked up your bag from the table, “Come on, let’s get down to the library. We’ve got this.”

You looked at him, incredulous, was he seriously implying the two of you could get through a month’s worth of course work in two hours? You could count the number of times you had seen him in class on one hand. Did he even have any idea on how to properly do the homework? “You can’t seriously think we can complete two chapters in two hours.”

He shrugged, “It’s only one chapter if we split the work.” The way he said it made it seem like the easiest thing in the world. And strangely, you found yourself wanting to believe it. “Come on sweetheart, we don’t have all day, and neither of us wants our grades to tank right?”

You took a deep breath, “You’re right. And partial credit is better than no credit anyway.” You stood up and collected your things. “But,” you said, taking your bag from him. “I think the library has a wetness rule or two.”

He smiled sheepishly and surrendered your bag with a chuckle. “You make a fair point. I’ll meet you there. Just take what ever chapter you like more. I’ll take the scraps.” You nodded in response and hurried to the library as Clint dealt with his wet clothing.

It only took about ten minutes for Clint to join you in the library, much to your surprise. “What, did you sprint to the dorms? They’re at least 15 minutes away.” You commented, looking over Clint’s much drier form as he sat down.

He shook his head, his hair still noticeably damp. “I keep a spare change of clothes in my gym locker.”

You have him a look, “Does stuff like this happen often?” You questioned, vaguely concerned for the man’s life choices.

He took a deep breath, puffing out his cheeks before exhaling slowly. “More often than I’d care to admit.” He said before craning his neck over to see what you were working on. A smile spread across his lips as he read the chapter you were on. “You left me the trajectory chapter then?”

You looked down at your book and nodded, “Uh, yeah. I figured I would just start with the easier chapter.”

“Sweetheart, your gonna have to look at me when you talk.” He said, tapping his ear. “The lake water ruined my hearing aids.”

If his statement wasn’t so bizarre, you might have been embarrassed by your small blunder. “Excuse me, Lake water? What the hell did you exactly do?” You knew he had to have gotten wet somehow, but you didn’t expect it to be in the school lake. But then, there was a goose involved.

Clint rubbed the back of his neck, turning slightly pink. “My friend Tony bet me five hundred bucks to try to steal one of the goose’s eggs,” he said, playing with his pencil, not looking at you. “I, uh, didn’t expect the goose to be so mean.”

You stifled a laugh, “You didn’t- Have you ever seen a goose before?” You asked between giggles. “Mean is all a goose knows how to be.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He said, still pink-faced, but smiling before nudging you with his elbow. “I’m glad you got to have a good laugh out of it. I’ll be sure to tell you about some of my other adventures next time.” You had to admit, you were a little curious to hear what other trouble he had managed to get himself into. It seemed like a common occurrence for him.

“Maybe after we get this done.” You smiled pointing to your book. “You said it yourself, we don’t have much time to lose.”

“Alright then, consider it a date.” He said with a wink making your heart flutter before he opened his own, waterlogged, book. Part of you wanted to ask if he was joking about the date, but he spoke up before you could. “Let’s get this show on the road.” He grinned. You gave him a nod before filing your question away for later and turning your focus to your work.

The pair fo you quickly lost track of time between flirty banter and physics equations. You liked Clint. More than you expected to like someone who had rushed up to you dripping wet and demanding help. Actually, you liked him a lot more than you expected to like anyone you had just met. He was funny and deceptively smart for a man who was supposedly on the verge of failing the class.

He finished his work long before you finished yours, claiming trajectories to be easy thanks to his experience with archery. Which was something he clearly loved far more than any of the classes he was taking. You could listen to him talk about it for hours with the way his face lit up when he did. He really had no business being as interesting as he was, you decided.

He was checking your work when you heard him swear. You looked up from your notes to see him scrambling to get his things together. “What’s going on?” You asked, eyes wide at his distress.

“We’re half an hour late to class!” He said, stuffing your work into your book and closing it, pushing it into your arms. Book in hand, you jumped up as if you had been electrocuted.

“Shit. Pym isn’t going to let us into class!” You swore as you collected your things and hurried after Clint.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said as he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. “I’ll just pick the lock. Just stick to the back row and he won’t notice.”

“Where the hell did you learn how to pick locks?” You asked as he pushed open the door to the physics building.

“A guy gets bored. I thought we already covered that I make questionable life choices.” Clint said quickly before stopping in front of an open classroom door, mouth agape.

You stopped next to him, eyes landing on a paper posted to the door frame. Phys 114, it read, canceled for the day. Signed Professor Pym. You stared at it dumbstruck. “All of that rushed work was for nothing?”

“Not for nothing.” Clint shrugged with a bob of his head. “If I recall, we did get a date out of the deal.”

You blinked and gave a small scoff of surprised laughter. “You were really serious about that?”

Clint frowned disappointment clear on his face, “Did you… Did you not want to?”

“No!” You objected, “No it’s not that! I’d love to have a date with you. I just thought- It doesn’t matter what I thought. I would love a date. Just, maybe with no geese.”

Clint broke into a wide grin that made your heart flutter. “Can’t make any promises about that sweetheart. I did promise you stories about my adventures.”

You giggled as smiled, “Someone needs to protect the school’s goose population from you.”

“From me?!” He asked with false offense, lips turned up with laughter. “They ate my homework!”

#clint barton x reader #clint barton #clint barton x you #hawkeye #hawkeye x y/n #hawkeye x reader #hawkeye x you #clint barton x y/n #marvel fic #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers #avengers fanfiction

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smallcowplant · 5 years

Photo

[ P A R T T W O ]

my favorite thing is monsters (book one) by emil ferris 🧟‍♀️🔍🧛‍♀️

quick synopsis: adult (coming-of-age story from the perspective of a young girl, but definitely targeted at an older audience)/graphic novel. set in late 60′s chicago, the fictional graphic diary of ten year old karen reyes recounts her experiences as she tries to solve the murder of her beautiful and enigmatic upstairs neighbor, a holocaust survivor.

page count: 416

rating:★★★ (this is a hard rating for me...think 3.7-3.9....oscillating to a 4....4.2....I don’t know, man)

review: I keep doing this fun and cool thing where I buy a book without realizing it’s the first in an (unfinished) series, and then end up being cast woefully adrift by reality. that’s what I did with this one. purely based on the artwork alone, I can tell you that this book is a treat for the eyes. a lot is going on here, and there’s something so engrossing about being swept up into the chaotic pen strokes and colors. the story is an interesting one, and not entirely what you expect. the characters are all distinct and layered---really riveting people who feel near-painfully real. as the first book in a two (?) book series, it leaves off with the central (and now additional) mysteries unsolved---which leaves the reading experience feeling unfinished and kind of disjointed. I’m stuck in a bit of a confusing mid-zone with this one, where I truly....well, I can't say I enjoyed it, since this story is so much more than that? I was...fascinated? enveloped? I’ll be reading the next one, definitely.

one of us is lying by karen m. mcmanus 🥜🚓📱

quick synopsis: young adult/contemporary mystery/suspense. five students walk into detention. only four make it out alive. who did it...and who is lying?

page count: 361

rating:★★★ (firm 3.7)

review: the breakfast club....but with murder? if you’re down for that, you’ll enjoy this book! it certainly kept my attention. and MAN was this a suspenseful and super stressful read. (if you need a book that’ll make you go “wow, I’m glad I’m not in high school anymore”, this is it lol!) there’s a bunch of really interesting character studies going on in this one, and it definitely lends to a tense and involving read. the only reason the rating isn’t any higher is just that certain elements of it didn’t work...entirely...for me. that doesn’t mean that they were bad...just not what I...wanted? there’s two more books in this series, and while I’m not anxious to get my hands on them, I’m fairly sure I would read them!

murder at morrington hall: a stella and lyndy mystery by clara mckenna 🐎🍵💏

quick synopsis: adult/historical mystery. 1905. stella kendrick, a lively and confident american heiress, is tricked into an arranged marriage by her coldly ambitious father. her groom-to-be is viscount “lyndy” lyndhurst, who is both roughish and financially strapped. despite this rough beginning, they find themselves oddly drawn to each other. could they actually be a good match? however, all courtship is set aside when the pair discover the vicar who was to marry them----dead in the library. now they must work together to solve the crime and find the culprit.

page count: 304

rating: ★★

review: ugh, it pains me to say, as I thought I was signing myself up for a fun turn-of-the-century murder mystery/romance...but this was just...meh. a meh story. I feel like it had potential to be an enjoyable, soapy romp with a dash of sensuality...but it was none of those things? (basically, I wanted a self-indulgent and delicious slice of chocolate cake...but I ended up with a week-old raisin muffin.) it didn't help that I had some issues with certain things the writer included. in particular, I REALLY didn’t like the equating of fat = mean/ugly and the repeated use of the word “bulbous” to describe certain characters noses----I had to do a quick google search to see what the hell the author was talking about. still not sure if she was trying to imply that the characters had rhinophyma/rosacea or just that they had bigger, “ugly” noses, but neither is good lmao. whenever you put a “plain/regular-degular person” with a big nose up against your array of stock White People™ characters with thin noses and angular faces, AND make those “plain” characters play the “wow, I’m so ugly but these characters are so pretty oh woe is me” bullshit in their inner monologue, I’m dipping. I’ve collected my paycheck, clocked out, left the building. (your story is already about a bunch of rich, straight, white people in 1905...I’m already skeptical, don’t test me. jk, but also not.) I’m fairly sure this would have caused a decent amount of people to DNF this book, but I’m a stubborn little bitch, and if I paid actual money for the hardcover copy at goddamn Barnes and Noble, I’m reading it. this is all to say that....if I’m being thrown out of enjoying your soapy historical murder mystery to gripe about random shit, there’s a problem. other than that? carpet was described a lot, the twist was decent, the romance was okay (no smut---or anything even vaguely close to romantic/sexual tension---and the kisses were not described at all, so I have no clue if either of them do more than press their lips together while admiring each others pale necks, but whatever), and the setting was the most interesting thing about this book (a crumbling english estate in the countryside?? sign me tf up). I won’t be reading anything more in this series, but that cover is pretty cool isn’t it? (I don’t know that the vase had anything to do with the story I read, but it does look really neat.) sidenote: hate to be a smarmy asshole, as I know full well how much work goes into writing, and I’m in no way trying to shame the author...this book just didn’t do it for me.

wilder girls by rory power 🌳🦷🥀

quick synopsis: young adult/horror/mystery. on an isolated island off the coast of maine, raxter school for girls is under quarantine. a mysterious disease has wracked the island, leaving teachers dead, students twisted and changed, and the woods that surround it dangerous and wild. while the disease consumes the island, the girls wait---for help, for the cure that was promised to them. but when hetty’s best friend disappears, she must venture out of the safety of the school, past the gate that separates them from the woods---and what she finds will change everything.

page count: 363

rating: ★★★★★

review: powerful, blistering, and utterly terrifying. that’s what immediately comes to mind when thinking about this book. I read it in a breakneck pace, devouring the whole thing in a feverish five? hour haze. once it was over, I sat bleary-eyed, the air around me feeling different than before, my hands tense and my stomach jumping. “you were a good one.” I said softly, kissing the spine. so yeah, it’s good. it’s very good. heartbreaking and awful and shockingly beautiful. this one hurts. I felt this one in my bones, in my soul. read it.

lovely war by julie berry 🌷💥💞

quick synopsis: young adult (but the youngest character is 18...so I think this could comfortably slot into adult)/historical (with a touch of fantasy). the intersecting stories of hazel, james, aubrey, and colette: a classical pianist from london, a british would-be-architect-turned-soldier, a harlem-born ragtime genius in the u.s. army, and a belgian orphan with a gorgeous voice and a devastating past----told by the goddess aphrodite, who must spin the tale or face judgment on mount olympus.

page count: 468

rating: ★★★★★

review: do you know how many times I CRIED while reading this book? because I certainly don’t! I lost track, as there are simply too many painful and beautiful things contained in this book. heart-wrenching, sumptuous and intoxicating, vivid in the best and worst ways, sharp and soft at the same time. I met my boyfriend while he was still active-duty military, so the wartime/seperation themes hit me very personally....but even without that, this book is excellent. expertly weaving together mythology and history in one gripping piece of art, it left me with a wistful smile on my face and a faint ache in my heart. it’s good. very good.

we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson 🏡💀🐱

quick synopsis: young adult? adult? who knows!/mystery/horror. mary katherine blackwood is eighteen years old and lives with her sister constance. she has often thought that with any luck at all she would have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both of her hands are the same length, but she has had to be content with what she has. she dislikes washing herself, and dogs, and noise. she likes her sister constance, and richard plantagenet, and amanita phalloides, the death-cup mushroom. everyone else in her family is dead.

page count: 146

rating: ★★★★ (4.5/4.6!)

review: delightfully creepy and utterly odd, with a full cast of extremely unlikable characters and one of the strangest protagonists I’ve ever read. at NO TIME did I have any idea where the story was going, which lead to an completely bizarre (but fun!) reading experience. twilight-zonian/gothic...but better. very eager to read more of shirley jackson’s catalogue, because that lady sure knew how to weave a tale. very glad I read this one.

sadie by courtney summers 📻👥🎙

quick synopsis: young adult (mc is nineteen, and imo I feel like this slides into adult tbh)/contemporary/true crime. told from the alternating perspectives of nineteen-year-old sadie, who runs away from home to find her younger sister’s killer, and a true crime podcast exploring sadie’s disappearance.

page count: 308

rating: ★★★

review: sad, awful, raw. that’s this book, simultaneously bright red and angry and deep blue, sadness upon sadness. this book reminds me of every true crime documentary I’ve ever watched---how it wraps itself up in a depressingly soft way, all the emptiness left behind and everything forever-changed. gives me the same icky voyeuristic feeling consuming any true crime content always leaves with me---this peculiar feeling of peering in to others heartbreak, of their horrors. this is a hard book. it’s difficult and not easy to stomach---and it never lets up. know that before you go in. what you may expect/want is NOT what you’ll get. and that’s the trueness of this book. I have my own personal feelings regarding the story, thus the three star rating, but that’s on ME. this book is incredibly well-written and insanely gripping. I finished it the same night I started reading it. if you want a gritty, intense read set in the very bleak reality of our world, this is your book.

FEBRUARY

BOOKS READ: 14

PAGES READ: 4225

# OF 2020 BOOKS READ SO FAR: 17/50

in reflection: my goal for this month was to read ten books, and I did that ...plus four more! so I’m pretty proud of myself, lol! there were a lot of stellar reads this month, and I had so much fun discovering them all! definitely a TON of new favorites to add to my bookshelf! :^)

disclaimer: all fourteen of the books I read this month include/focus on potentially triggering content, although they do fluctuate on the scale of intensity and subject matter. my wrap-up reviews do not contain spoilers/a comprehensive list of potential triggers. I urge everyone to do their own research regarding the content of these books if you’re interested in reading them, and I’m always available for questions. my reviews are just that, reviews, and books that work for me may not work for you (and vice versa).

#sam's 50 books of 2020 #nonsims #sam speaks #body horror cw #for wilder girls cover #and for wilder girls in general lol

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fortheheavenssake · 4 years

Text

💜💜 PG MM Anon(II) 💜💜 Interpretation Collection - 4

20. May 19

MM ANON ……… a personal loss………… the Dynamic Duo………… FPhishing……Nlcola Nike Snike ………… Hydroxy- foxy(do not do this at home)…………………” a suitable case for ( shhhhh) treatment “ ………… “ no comment “ …………… “ a game of cards old thing “…………… “patience Philip ……………” ………… ma’am , it’s Charlotte and George on tic-toc…………… “dance, gan, gan, you dance, … Sydney!!

Thank yoi😊❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes

MAY 19/2020. RIDDLE#21

a personal loss

LOSS CAN BE MANY THINGS. WE HAVE SEEN THE MASSIVELY TALENTED MUSICIAN, ADELE, COME OUT IN SUPPORT OF THE SUSSEXES, TWICE RECENTLY. SHE, AS I HAVE SAID PREVIOUSLY, POSTED A PHOTO OF HERSELF NEARLY UNRECOGNIZABLE. SHE HAS LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT AND HER FACE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION. SHE OWES NONE TO ANYONE, ITS HER PERSONAL JOURNEY. I TRULY DOUBT THOUGH THAT SHE IS PERSONAL FRIENDS WITH THE SUSSEXES OR WE WOULD HAVE HEARD FROM HER BEFORE, SO WHY NOW? SHARED PLASTIC SURGEONS PERHAPS?

the Dynamic Duo…………

THIS USED TO BE BATMAN AND ROBIN. THEN THERE WAS THE FAB FOUR WHICH ORIGINALLY WERE THE BEATLES, THEN TWO ROYAL COUPLES, ONE OF WHICH NEVER REALLY EXISTED. WE HAVE SEEN THE EMERGENCE IN THE LAST YEAR OF A VERY CONFIDENT ROYAL COUPLE AND FAMILY, THE CAMBRIDGES. THEY ARE MARVELLOUS. THEY ARE AND HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS AND CONTINUE TO DO MARVELLOUS WORK REGARDING THE AREA OF MENTAL HEALTH AND WERE BRILLIANT DURING NURSES WEEK.

FPhishing……

THIS IS SCAMMING ONLINE. MOST OF OUR ROYALS AND FORMER GIRLFRIENDS, HAVE BEEN HACKED BEFORE, NOW THEIR SECURITY IS HIGHEST LEVEL. SO WHO IS PHISHING OR BEING PFHISHED? MADAM PERHAPS? SHE HAS NO MI5 OR ROYAL SECURITY ON HER DEVICES THAT IS CERTAIN.

Nlcola Nike Snike …………

SNP MINISTER, MY THEY SEEM TO HAVE IT OUT FOR MS STURGEON. RUMOURS OR MISLABELS OF COVERUP OF COVID 19 AT A NIKE CONFERENCE IN EDINBURGH IN FEBRUARY. SNIKE MEANS S***.

Hydroxy- foxy(do not do this at home)…………………”

I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE ANY DOCTOR COULD PRESCRIBE THIS. THE U.S. PRESIDENT HAS STATED PUBLICLY HE HAS BEEN TAKING HYDROXYCHOLORQUINE FOR A WEEK AND A HALF BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IT PROTECTS HIM FROM CORONOAVIRUS STRAIN CIVID-19. THIS DRUG IS GIVEN FOR MALARIA AND A NUMBER IF OTHER THINGS BUT THE PRODUCT MONOGRAPH IN NO WAY SUGGESTS ANY INDICATIONS OF USE FOR THIS PURPOSE. ALL PRESCRIPTION DRUGS HAS MONOGRAPHS WHICH ARE EXTENSIVE, INDICATIONS FOR USE, CONTRAINDICATIONS, SIDE EFFECTS ETC. ITS A BIG BOOK VALLED THE CPS IN CANADA. NO RECOMMENDATIONS YET THAT THIS IS FOR TREATMENT OF COVID AND IN FACT IS QUITE DANGEROUS.

“a suitable case for ( shhhhh) treatment “

SILENT TREATMENT IS SHHHHH. SO WHAT HAS BEEN DEEMED SUITABLE TO STAY SILENT? ARCHIES REAL SEX, LOCALE, PARENTAGE? THERE ARE MANY FACTS THAT WE WILL NEVER BE PRIVY TOO. WHEN HARRY WILL BE BACK? DIVORCE SOON? IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED HOPEFULLY ANNULMENT BUT I REPEAT MYSELF.

HER CASE, AS IN LEGAL CASE, AGAINST THE MOS, I BET SHE WISHES SHE HAD REMAINED SILENT. HOW AND WHERE IS SHE GOING TO FIND FIVE FRIENDS TO TESTIFY? YEP, IN THIS CASE, IT IS SUITABLE THEY REMAIN SILENT, FOR THEIR OWN FUTURE.

NO FORMAL ANNIVERSARY WISHES FROM THE CAMBRIDGES, HMTQ……..SEEMS TO ME ANNULMENT OR DIVORCE, KIDS YOU KNOW I ME, I AM IN THE ANNULMENT CATEGORY, HAPPENED THE DAY THEY VISITED CANADA HOUSE. SO THERE IS TO ANNIVERSARY TO CONGRATULATE THEM ON, SINCE THEY ARE NOT MARRIED😁😁😁😁

“ no comment “

NO COMMENT INDEED. THE BRF HAVE STATED THEY WILL MAKE NO FURTHER PUBLIC COMMENTS ON THE SUSSEXES MONTHS AGO. SO THIS PAYBACK OF FROGMORE RENOVATIONS IS BEING LEFT TO PR AND THE MEDIA AND IT IS LOOKING PATHETIC.

“ a game of cards old thing “…………… “patience Philip ……………” ………… ma’am , it’s Charlotte and George on tic-toc…………… “dance, gan, gan, you dance, … Sydney!!

BACK TO WINDSOR, HMTQ AND HIMSELF ARE PLAYING CARDS, GONE IS THE JIGSAW PUZZLE. HE IS IMPATIENT WANTING HER TO MAKE HER MOVE, SHE IMPLORES HIS PATIENCE. THEY ARE INTERRUPTED BY SYDNEY, THE CAMBRIDGE CHILDREN ARE ON TIK TOK…SOCIAL MEDIAS NEWEST SERVICE THAT ALL THE YOUND KIDS ARE USING NOW. SOUNDS THEY HAVE MUSIC GOING, ARE DANCING AND THEY WANT GAN GAN TO DANCE ALONG….HIMSELF HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THE NOISE CALLING FOR SYDNEY! I HOPE THEY HAVE RESTOCKED HIS BODDINGTONS. 🤣🤣😂😂.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

Thank yoi😊❤️❤️. *Entertainment purposes

————-

21. May 19

MM ANON …… Ana-adversity …… the gathering marital storm…………” first family visit will be the United States when normalisation hits ma’am” …………”life will return ma’am”……… Who is that? …………… guesting the testing ……… “ they won’t return early ma’am”…………… “one speaks to Catherine,daily , and the little ones” ……… “it’s interminable Sydney,” …” a Little top-up sir”

Thank you😊❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes

MAY 19/2020. RIDDLE #22

TWO YEARS TODAY THE GATHERING OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE🤬😡🙁😩🥺😫😖

Ana-adversity ……

THROUGHOUT THE COVID EMERGENCY WORLDWIDE THERE HAVE BEEN AND STILL ARE CRITICAL SHORTAGES OF PPE, SUPPLIES, TEST KITS, VARIETY OF, TESTING IS WOEFULLY LOW IN NUMBERS, VARIOUS REGIONS HAVE VARIOUS EXPLANATIONS. HEALTHCARE WORKERS AND OTHER ESSENTIAL WORKERS JAVE BEEN PLACED AT HIGH RISK OF ADVERSITY AND MANY HAVE DIED WORLDWIDE.

the gathering marital storm…………

WE ARE IN FOR NEWS VERY VERY SOON. I HOPE IT IS ANNULMENT BECAUSE THAT MEANS AUTOMATIC LOSS OF MADAM’S TITLE BUT DIVORCE IS GOOD TOO. THE GACT THAT THERE WERE NO ANNIVERSARY WISHES CRICKETS 🦗🦗 FROM ANY OFFICIAL ROYAL TWITTER, INSTAGRAM ETC THAT I AM AWARE OF. EVERY DAY THERE ARE ARTICLES BRINGING HARRY’S NAME BACK IN, TODAY REMINDING US HE WAS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE TRIO THAT STARTED HEADS TOGETHER. KIDS ANY DAY A HEADLINE WILL HAPPEN AND 💜💜🐼💜💜 PAGE WILL GO GREEN. I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!

“first family visit will be the United States when normalisation hits ma’am” …………”life will return ma’am”………

I BELIEVE HMTQ TO BE SPEAKING WITH LG, HE IS REASSURING HER THAT LIFE WILL RETURN, RESUME THE WAYS OF LIFE. AS THE PROCESS OF UNLOCKDOWNING IS COMING, THINGS WILL BE CLOSELY MONITORED. SOUNDING LIKE ONCE ALL IS COPACETIC, THE CAMBRIDGES WILL BE OFF TO AMERICA FOR A VISIT. THAT PUTS A SPANNER IN THE MIX OF MY IDEA/DELUSION OF CATHERIN BEING PREGNANT. MM ANON, EVER SINCE YOU USED THE PHRASE, SPANNER IN THE MIX , WAY BACK LAST YEAR IN A RIDDLE. I USE IT ALL THE TIME!! I THOUGHT CANADA HAD BEEN ON THE DIARY BEFORE ALL OF THIS. EITHER WAY IT WILL BE HUGELY POPULAR.

Who is that? ……………

NOW THIS CLUE BEFUDDLES ME. WHO IS ASKING THE QUESTION? COUKD BE MANY THINGS. WE HAVE ASKED OURSELVES THAT IN MADAMS RECENT PHOTOS, THEY ARE SO BIZARRE, SHE LOOKS SO UNLIKE HERSELF. BUT BETTER, WHO IS FARRY? THAT WAS A GREAT POST OF THE PHOTO SHOWING THIS CHAPS COMPLETELY BALD HEAD FROM THE BACK. THIS IS SOME LOW PAID LIKELY OUT OF WORK ACTOR. IS HE COMPLICIT TO FRAUD.? IS IT ILLEGAL TO PRETEND TO BE A PRINCE? I DONT KNOW BUT I SURE KNOW HE IS NOT NOT NOT OUR HARRY.

guesting the testing ………

SO MUCH CONTROVERSY NOW ABOUT COVID TESTING. IN THE DM, I WAS READING THAT THERE ARE TRUTHS COMING OUT NOW ABOUT DECISIONS MADE AROUND ADEQUATE TESTS, ADEQUATE SUPPLIES OF TESTS AND ADEQUATE NUMBER OF TESTS HAVING BEEN DONE BETWEEN THEN AND NOW. WHO HAS THE BEST TEST? IT IS NASAL PHARYNGEAL WHICH TAJES DAYS AND MANY FALSE NEGATIVES OR FINGER PRICKS/SEROLOGY AND HAS ITS OWN ISSUES. TRACK AND TRACE WAS NOT DONE IN EARLY STAGE IN THE U.K.

“ they won’t return early ma’am”……

HMTQ IS SPEAKING WITH LG AGAIN, REASSURING HER THE CAMBRIDGE CHILDREN WILL NOT RETURN TO SCHOOL EARLY. SAFETY IS PRIORITY ESPECIALLY FOR THE CHILDREN DIRECTLY IN LINE OF SUCCESSION.

……… “one speaks to Catherine,daily , and the little ones” ……… “it’s interminable Sydney,” …” a Little top-up sir”

AS USUAL OUR DEAR MM ANON ENDS WITH A SCENE BETWEEN HMTQ AND HIMSELF. SHE IS SAYING SHE KEEPS DAILY CONTACT WITH CATHERINE AND THE EVER GROWING CAMBRIDGE CHILDREN. I WONDER IF PART OF THIS IS PER MY SPECULATION IN A PREVIOUS RIDDLE OF THE CLUE FOUR, MEANING CATHERINE IS EXPECTING. GENERALLY DURING HER FIRST TRIMESTER SHE HAS SUFFERED GREATLY. HIMSELF IS SAYING THIS PROTRACTED LOCKDOWN IS INTERMINABLE. EITHER THAT OR HIMSELF IS IRRITATED BY THE NOISE OF THE CHILDREN IS🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. SYDNEY KNOWS WHAT MEDICINE HE NEEDS AND OFFERS HIM A TOP UP ON HIS BODDINGTONS!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

gstqaobc GUYS IT JUST HIT MY THICK BRAIN, ANA ADVERSITY IS THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE GATHERING OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE IS TODAY. WHAT A MESS THAT WAS AND THE BLUNDEROUS FALLOUT SINCE THAT TIME.💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊PG😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜 GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

Thank you😊❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes

—————

22. May 20

MM ANON ……… 5 years old ‘ COVID security ……… transmission admission??……… 1st. June. …………… A pollution solution ………… free at last……… kiss 💋 me 😱😱😱………… another Father???…………… Spanish,French and judo 😂😂😂…………… lies,damm lies, and MM……… an expensive squat………… A Greece-y gamble. ………… “ is one sitting comfortably’ good, Once apon a time “

*Entertainment purposes

MAY 21/2020. RIDDLE #23

5 years old ‘ COVID security ………

UK SCHOOLS SET TO RESUME JUNE 1ST. THERE WAS A RIDDLE CLUE THE OTHER DAY I INTERPRETED , IT SAID SOMETHING LIKE THEY WONT’T RETURN SOON. I TOOK THAT TO MEAN THE CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY AS BEING IN THE DIRECT LINE OF SUCCESSION WOULD NOT RETURN SOON. THERE IS A RISK WHEN THIS RESUMES. I THINK THE RIGHT DECISION WILL BE TAKEN. ACCORDING TO HELLO CANADA, CHARLOTTE WOULD BE THE FIRST TO LEAVE ISOLATION AS YEAR 1 AND YEAR 6 STUDENTS RETURN JUNE 1ST. I AM CERTAIN ALL SECURITY WILL HAVE BEEN AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE TESTED AND ISOLATED AS WELL. THERE IS A SERIOUS RISK HERE, AS WE ALL KNOW.

transmission admission??………

PRINCE CHARLES HAD COVID-19! PM BOJO HAD IT, NOW WE KNOW JACK’S FATHER WAS DEATHLY ILL WITH IT. THEY ALL ARE RECOVERING OR RECOVERED . I THINK PM BOJO NEEDS MORE TIME TO RECOVER, HE LOOKS SO PALE AND UNWELL IN THE PAPERS. AFTER HIS MORNING RUN. HAS THERE BEEN A BLIP IN SECURITY OR EXPOSURE HERETOFORE NOT TOLD? HAS THERE BEEN A LAPSE RESULTING IN THESE INFECTIONS OR THE GENERAL POPULATION. THERE IS GREAT TENSION FROM MAN Y TOWARDS CHINA, MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THE TRUE NATURE AND SEVERITY OF THIS CORONAVIRUS WAS NOT SHARED TRUTHFULLY AND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE W.H.O. I WONDER, AS WITH MANY THINGS, WE WILL EVER BE GIVEN THE COMPLETE TRUTH. THERE HAS BEEN AN INCREASE IN ANTIASIAN INCIDENTS OF VERBAL AND PHYSICAL INCIDENTS IN 🇨🇦. PHARMACEUTICALS HAVE BILLIONS TO EARN FROM POTENTIAL TREATMENTS OR VACCINES.

1st. June. ……………

THIS IS OR HAS BEEN THE DATE SET FOR PRIMARY GRADE 1 AND 6 STUDENTS TO RETURN TO CLASSES. I WISH THEY WOULD JUST LET THE WEE ONES BE DONE. THE GRADUATING STUDENTS ARE THE ONES MY HEART HURTS FOR.

MIGHT THIS BE THE DAY HARRY OFFICIALLY RETURNS A WELL?🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

A pollution solution …………

WITH THE WORLD LOCKDOWN, MANY EMISSIONS THAT POLLUTE THE WORLD HAVE BEEN DRASTICALLY DIMINISHED. I REMEMBER A FEW WEEKS AGO ON THE BLOG, SOMEONE POSTED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PHOTOS TAKEN OF THE HIMALAYAS. THE FOLKS IN THAT PART OF THE WORLD HAD NOT SEEN THEM VISIBLE FOR 30 YEARS OR SO. WHEN WE RESUME LIFE THERE IS NO GOING BACK. CREATIVITY IS ALREADY ABOUNDING IN ENDLESS WAYS. IT TRULY WILL BE A BRAVE NEW WORLD BUT IN A GOOD SENSE. MANY CAN WORK FROM HOME, LESS MASS TRANSPORTATION BUT THAT WILL DEFINITELY HAVE A TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMIC EFFECT FOR SURE. I HOPE THOSE BRILLIANT MINDS CAN USE THIS TO LESSEN POLLUTION PERMANENTLY AND DEAL WITH THE POLLUTION THAT IS DESTROYING OUR BEAUTIFUL PLANET GOD GAVE US TO STEWARD.

free at last………

THIS IS A LINE FROM DR KING, SPEAKING OF THE PLIGHT OF CIVIL RIGHTS AND REFERENCE TO SLAVERY IN AMERICA MANY YEARS AGO. HARRY HAS BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP/PR SLAVERY OF A SORT, I WONDER AND PRAY AND FEEL VERY STRONGLY WITH THE SECOND ANNIVERSARY NOT MENTIONED BY ANY OF THE BRF, ANNULMENT OR DIVORCE ANNOUNCEMENT IS IMMINENT. I KNOW I HAVE SAID THAT A ZILLION TIMES BUT IT SEEMS THERE ARE MORE INDICATING SIGNS THAN PREVIOUSLY.

kiss 💋 me 😱😱😱…………

REMINDS ME OF KISS ME KATE, THE MUSICAL, JUST THE FIRST WORDS. KISSES TODAY CAN BE FATAL. WHO WANTS A KISS AND WHO GIVES A HORRID KISS. I REMEMBER 18MONTHS AGO, AT THE POLO, MADAM AWARDED THE TROPHY AND KISSED HARRY. HE GRABBED THE CHAMPAGNE AND TOOK A BIG SIP, SWISHED HIS MOUTH AND SPAT IT OUT AS TO GST RID IF HER MOUTHS TASTE. GROSS WHERE THAT MOUTH HAS BEEN, I CANNOT BEAR TO THINK. IS MADAM GOING TO TRY AND GET HIM TO KISS HER SOMEHOW?? OR WORSE YET THREE KISSES? IS SHE GOING TO TRY AND GET OUR CAMBRIDGE KIDDIES TO KISS HER?

another Father???……………

OH THE PR, 🇨🇦DAVID FOSTER IS ON HIS 547TH YOUNG WIFE AND PR IS HE IS LIKE A NEW FATHER TO FARRY= FAKE HARRY. PR HURTS SO BADLY AND NADAM IS GETTING HER DIGS IN AT EVERYONE. SHE IS SO EVIL.

Spanish,French and judo 😂😂😂……………

I LAUGHED AT THE PHOTOSHOPPED PICS ON THE BLOG OF A VERY FIT WOMAN DOING MARTIAL ARTS WITH MADAMS FACE GLUED ONTO THE BODY. HARRY HAD A GO AT MADAM AT CANADA HOUSE ENCOURAGING HER TO SPEAK FRENCH🤣🤣😂😂. OF COURSE SHE COULD NOT, SHE HAS TOLD SO MANY LIES, THESE THREE ARE JUST THREE SMALL DROPS IN AN OCEAN.

lies,damm lies, and MM………

I HAVE TAKEN TO CHECKING THE URBAN DICTIONARY, NORMAL SPELLING IS DAMN FOR THE CURSE OR DAM FOR THE THING THAT HOLDS BACK WATER. ACCORDING TO URBAN AND THIS IS DISGUSTING DAMM IS DRUNKS AGAINST MADD MOTHERS, PLAY ON MADD…MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING. A DAMM IS ALSO A COIN IN OLD INDIA.

SO IS MADAM LYING ABOUT FOREIGN MONEY OR IS THERE A HISTORY OF IMPAIRED DRIVING. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, AS OUR SKIPPY SAYS, IS POSSIBLE. THE ONLY THING WE KNOW FOR SURE IS NOTHING IS AS OT SEEMS, TOLD US OR PURPORTS TO BE.

an expensive squat…………

SQUAT IS A TOUGH EXERCISE, VERY CORE STRENGTHENING FOR SURE. IT IS ALSO A POSITION MANY WOMEN USE DURING LABOUR AND CHILDBIRTH. IT ALSO MEANS TO APPROPRIATE SOMEONE PROPERTY. THERE ARE, IN SOME PLACES, LAWS THAT PROTECT SQUATTERS RIGHTS AND THE RIGHTFUL OWNER CAN HAVE A WHALE OF A TIME TRYING TO GET THE COURTS TO EVICT THEM. IS MADAM SQUATTING IN ANY WAY? THIS IS TYPICAL HER, USING AND ABUSING ANYONE AND ANYTHING. USING PHOTOSHOPS OF TP’S MANSION AND PR LIES THAT HER AND A BALD HEADED “H” ARE THERE. I THINK THIS COST MIGHT NOT JUST BE IN MONEY BUT IN FREEDOM. AS WELL ON E THINGS FINALLY CATCH UP WITH HER. SCALES ⚖️.

A Greece-y gamble. …………

WE KNOW MADAM HAS YACHTED ALL OVER THAT PART OF THE WORLD. IS SHE USING SOME INFORMATION GAINED DURING THAT TIME TO GET SOMETHING FROM A CLIENT THERE? I KNOW LINDSAY LOHAN IS DOING EXTREMELY WELL. FOR HERSELF THERE WITH HER RELATIONSHIP WITH AN OLDER MAN. LAST I HEARD SHE HAD TWO NIGHTCLUBS OR WAS IT THREE…

“ is one sitting comfortably’ good, Once apon a time “

MM ANON AGAIN CHOOSES TO END WITH MY FAVOURITE PART, HMTQ QUIET TIME, SHE HAS REGULAR FACETIME CONTACT WITH THE CAMBRIDGES AND WE HEARD TIK TOK TOO🤣🤣😂😂😂. SHE IS READING A STORY OR A BEDTIME STORY TO THE CAMBRIDGE CHILDREN. HOW SWEET. OH WILL BE GOOD WHEN SHE CAN HUG THEM AGAIN AND ALL OF US.

Thank you😊❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

——————

23. May 22

MM ANON …… “what , seen at Lympstone “………… a Diplomatic retreat ……… A-Nul-ment………… NY bio-diver-city……… facegrime ………… Charles, a man for all see-sons……… thermal Heathrow ………… 1st Solo address ………… high-end-ing ………… “ clever children, such a lovely dance”……… “ no darlings gan-pops with Sydney “………… “ yes’ we’ll all bake a cake “………… “ pretty Jim-jams Charlotte “.

Thank you!😊❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes

MAY 21/2020. RIDDLE#24

“what , seen at Lympstone “…………

THE ROYAL MARINES COMMANDO TRAINING CENTRE IS IN LYMPSTONE. IS THIS A SIGHTING OF OUR HARRY, THE REAL ONE. HAS HE BEEN BACK SERVING THERE?? IF TRUE, I THINK THIS WOULD BE FANTASTIC!

a Diplomatic retreat ………

AFTER FIRMLY STATING I BELIEVE IT WAS A £400 CHARGE FOR FOREIGN WORKERS TO ACCESS THE NHS THE OM HAS WALKED THAT BACK. THERE WAS A HUGE PUBLIC RESPONSE TO A SOCIAL MEDIA POST BY A BADTA AWARD WINNING FILMMAKER WHO NOW WORKS AS A HOSPITAL CLEANER SHARING HIS PLIGHT. SINCE THAT RESPONSE OM BJ HAS WALKED BACK THAT POLICY.

A-Nul-ment…………

THIS IS WHAT I KEEP HOPING FOR AS IT MEANS AUTOMATIC LOSS OF HER STATUS AND TITLE. SOUNDS LIKE, WITH THE WORD NUL,MEANING VOID, THE ACTUAL MARRIAGE IS VOIDED FOR A VARIETY OF ALLEGED REASONS. THIS IS FANTASTIC AND AS WE HAVE ALL DISCUSSED HERE.

NY bio-diver-city………

NYC HAS A HUGE HUGE PROBLEM WITH COVID. YET NEAR STATES HAVE MUCH LESS . NY STATE IS AS VARIED AS THEY COME. GET OUTSIDE THE COTY, RANCHES, GREENSPACE, HORSES, ITS BEAUTIFUL. WITHIN HUMANS WE EACH POSSESS UNIQUE DNA, BUT YET DIFFERENT RACES AND MUXED RACES CARRY DIFFERENT GENETIC RISKS OR SENSITIVITIES. I READ A VERY INTERESTING ARTICLE ON HOW THE RICHER BOROUGHS IF NYC HAVE FAR FEWER CASES OF COVID THAN THE POORER ONES. THERE ARE ISSUES WITH ACCESS TO CARE AND AFFORDABILITY OR SO THE MEDIA REPORTS. (NOT BEING POLITICAL JUST EXPRESSING MY OWN THOUGHTS)

facegrime …………

IMMEDIATELY I HAD A VISUAL OF PRINCE LOUIS MAKING CAKE POPS WITH HIS FACE FULL OF STICKY YUMMY CAKE BITS. THIS IS FACEGRIME….FACETIME IS APPLE.

THE WORD GRIME , MAKES ME THINK KF MADAMS GREASY FACE AND THICK LAYERS OF BRONZER, MAKEUP ETC HAS SHE BEEN USING OLD SCHOOL LIKE ME, FACETIME, TO PLEAD FOR MONEY? OR TRYING DESPERATELY TO REACH H? YOU THINK SHE WOULD HAVE GIVEN THAT UP BUT SHE WILL NEVER.

Charles, a man for all see-sons………

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS IS FANTASTIC PLAY, THEN FILM ABOUT SIR THOMAS MORE, WHO REFUSED TO ANNUL HENRY VII MARRIAGE TO CATHERINE OF ARAGON. THIS ALL LED TO THE KING BEING NAMED THE SUPREME HEAD OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND,AND THANK GOODNESS SHE KEPT HER HEAD.

SO CHARLES IS VERY MUCH A MAN OF PRINCIPLES. I SHALL LEAVE IT TO YOU TO COMPARE HIM TO THOMAS MORE.

HAS HE BEEN SEEING HIS SONS VIA SKYPE, ZOOM, FACETIME? I FULLY BELIEVE SO. NOW MORE THAN EVER, WITH MADAME’S ESPECIALLY HURTFUL PR REGARDING DAVID FOSTER BEING LIKE A FATHER TO HARRY, DIRTY MEAN VICIOUS PR, THEY NEED SUPPORT FROM EACH OTHER.

thermal Heathrow …………

GONE ARE THE DAYS OF MERCURY THERMOMETERS, ORAL AXILLAE OR RECTAL TEMP CHECKS. IMAGINE THAT AT HEATHROW😮😮🤣🤣😂😂😂THERMAL TEMPERATURE SCREENINGS ARE BEING TRIALED AT HEATHROW. IT IS AMAZING, HOW MUCH OF OUR PRIVACY AND OUR DAY TO DAY GOING ABOUT WE HAVE JUST SIMPLY COMPLIED WITH. SOME SAY CONSPIRACY OTHERS SAY COOPERATION IS ESSENTIAL TO GETTING THROUGH THIS. WHAT DO YOU THINK/BELIEVE? I AM CURIOUS.

1st Solo address …………

IS HARRY GETTING READY TO ANNOUNCE THE ANNULMENT OR DIVORCE PUBLICLY IN PERSON. TILL NOW IT HAS ONLY BEEN VIDEOS AND FAKE HARRY PR. WOW THIS WOULD BE AMAZING AND HOW WOULD HE RELISH BEING THE ONE IN CONTROL OF PUBLICITY AFTER YEARS OF BEING CALLED EVERY INSULTING WORD IN THE BOOK.

high-end-ing …………

MADAM HAS A HISTORY OF MANY VARIOUS HOBBIES. CURRENTLY LIVING THE “HIGH” LIFE AT TP’S MANSION IN L. A…..RIGHT AND I CAN RUN A MILE!!! THE ENDING OR HER LAST DAYS AS A WIFE PUBLICLY, WE ALL KNOW IT WAS OVER AT CANADA HOUSE, SHE HAS MILKED THE LIES. WE KNOW SHE IS ON SOME COUCH SOMEWHERE IN THE U.K. SHE HAS LEGAL TROUBLE IN AMERICA, NO WAY SHE IS THERE. SHE CERTAINLY HAS MANY WILLING TO LIE FOR HER,BUT WHY? WHAT IS TO GAIN EXCEPT THEIR NAME IN THE MEDIA ASSOCIATED WITH MADAM. UNLESS THE BACKERS PAID OFF. EITHER WAY, NO MATTER, THE ENDING IS NEAR AND CHANCES ARE HOBBIES ARE USED TO COPE.

“ clever children, , such a lovely dance”……… “ no darlings gan-pops with Sydney “………… “ yes’ we’ll all bake a cake “………… “ pretty Jim-jams Charlotte “.

AS USUAL MY FAVOURITE MM ANON TIME. HMTQ IS COMMENTING ON SEEING THE CAMBRIDGE CHILDREN ON TIK TOK MOVING AND GROOVING AS WE USED TO SAY. HUGELY POPULAR CARE CAKE POPS ON A STICK, ITS BASICALLY AFTER YOU BAKE A CAKE , YOU SQUEEZE BITS OF IT INTO LITTLE BALLS OR POPS AND PUT ON A STICK. KIDS LIVE THE PARTICIPATING BECAUSE ITS MESSY AND TASTES YUMMY.

THE CHILDREN WANT GAN GAN TO HELP BUT CATHERINE SAYS NO, HMTQ DOES THIS WITH SYDNEY🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂. SO THE WHOLE GANG IS IN ON THE FUN, EVEN LITTLE LOUIS, PERFECT AGE. SOUNDS LIKE AFTER ICING OR FROSTING, THEY ARE DECORATING THEM. IN CANADA WE CALL THEM COLOURED SPRINKLES, IN PARTS OF AMERICA THEY ARE CALLED JIMMIES, IN THE U.K. JIM JAMS!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿. Thank you!😊💜💜💜💜

*Entertainment purposes

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24. May 22

MM ANON …… 88 two fat ladies ……… two blacked out Discovery’s in St Leonard’s ……… Priti Draconian …… pray,or else!! ………… gel my temperature ……… wash your hands then wrinkle cream ……… a memorial event ………… Hong-Gone…………” well, wake him up Sydney!!………… “bloody hell Sydney “ ………… “ sorry ma’am , Charlotte wants to play bingo”……… “ wonderful , clickerty duck”

Thank you 😊❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes

MAY 22/2020. RIDDLE #25

88 two fat ladies ………

WILLIAM AND CATHERINE DID AN AWESOME JOB OF VIRTUAL BINGO WITH SENIORS. THEY MUST HAVE BEEN TUTORED BECAUSE THERE IS SUCH A THING AS, BINGO ETIQUETTE. YOU DON’T CALL NUMBERS TOO FAST, AND NUMBERS GET A FUNNY NAME. SO 88 BINGO BALL TWO FAT LADIES🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂I LOVE IT. TAKES ME RIGHT BACK TO CHILDHOOD GOING FROM LEGION TO LEGION WITH MY PARENTS AND PLAYING BINGO.

two blacked out Discovery’s in St Leonard’s

MADAM IS BEING TRANSPORTED. I AM TAKING IT THAT HER HOSPITALIZATION OR CONFINEMENT HAS CHANGED. WHOO HOO, THIS BRINGS ME AGAIN HOPE OF AN ANNULMENT ANNOUNCEMENT VERY SOON!! AGAIN I SAY, THE STAR CHAMBER CERTAINLY MUST HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY BUSY AND HAS THIS CASE EXACTLY SOLID NOW IN TERMS OF COERCION OF MARRIAGE, ALLEGEDLY, TREASON ETC ALL FICTIONAL AND FOR ENTERTAINMENT OF COURSE 😉.ACTUALLY THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME SHE HAS BEEN NEAR SUSSEX AT A TIME WHEN TITLE DUCHESS OF SUSSEX SHALL SOON NO LONGER EXIST. ALLEGEDLY OF COURSE. ALSO FITTING IT IS A SEASIDE TOWN, AS WE KNOW MADAM LOVES BOATS AND ALL THAT GOOD CLEAN FUN 😉.

……… Priti Draconian ……

AS I WROTE ELSEWHERE, PRITI PATEL STATED THE GUIDELINES, I WILL NOT REPEAT, SCROLL DOWN PLEASE. SOME PEOPLE FEEL SOME OF THE GOVERNMENTS MEASURES HAVE BEEN AND ARE ARE FAR TOO AUSTERE AND THERE MAY BE A LOCKDOWN BACKLASH. DRACONIAN IS A TERM FROM DRACOS CODE…STIFF SEVERE RULES OR LAWS, UNNECESSARILY SO RIGID, UNBENDING. STIFF RULES FOR LEAVING AND ENTERING THE U.K. WERE ANNOUNCED THIS EVENING, WITH SERIOUS FINES.

pray,or else!! …………

THIS IS MY LIFE MOTTO. PRAYER IS ESSENTIAL. THERE WAS AN ARTICLE IN THE DM TODAY ABOUT HMTQ FAITH AND HOW SHE MISSES THE FELLOWSHIP OF ATTENDING CHIRCH ON SUNDAY MORNINGS. IF YOU ARE INCLINED,I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ IT. I KNOW WHERE HER STRENGTH AND FORTITUDE COMES FROM.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

gel my temperature ………

OK, THE FIRST THING I THINK OF IS SOMEONE TRYING TO FOOL THE THERMAL BODY SCANNER OR FOREHEAD TEMPERATURE SCANNER BY USING COOLING GEL. IN 🇨🇦,IT IS CALLED ICY HOT, GREAT FOR JOINT PAIN OR MUSCLE ACHE. ITS LIKE RUBBING ALCOHOL BUT IN GEL FORM. AS US OLD NURSES KNOW, BACK IN THE DAY, WHEN A PATIENT HAD A HIGH FEVER WE WOULD WIPE THEM DOWN WITH RUBBING ALCOHOL. ARE SOME PEOPLE USING THIS METHOD TO TRY AND FOOL THE SCANNERS? DISGUSTING IF TRUE. ITS COLD AT ROOM TEMPERATURE BUT KEEP IN THE FRIDGE ITS EXTREMELY COLD.

wash your hands then wrinkle cream ………

MM ANON, EVERYTIME YOU WRITE ABOUT WRINKLE CREAM, I SELF PROJECT BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN A RUNNING THING HERE FOR SOOOOOO LONG, MY LOVE OF ALL CREAMS AND SERUMS..CURRENTLY USING PRAI AND KORRES COMBINATION. FABULOUS. AS RESTRICTIONS ARE BEING EASED, HANDWASHING IS A MUST. IT IS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN IN NURSING SCHOOL , THAT AND MAKING A PROPER BED. ALL NURSES KNOW WHAT A BIG DEAL THEY MAKE ABOUT THAT.🤣🤣😂😂😂😂. SO WITH EASING OF SOME RESTRICTIONS, HAND WASHING, MASKS HERE ANYWAYS. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE WITH OR WITHOUT A MASK. SO WHAT, NOW ITS OK TO USE WRINKLE CREAM?? I HAVE BEEN USING IT ALL THROUGH THIS LOCKDOWN! SERIOUSLY IT IS JUST REMEMBER TO KEEP WASHING YOUR HANDS OFTEN, DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE, USE HAND SANITIZER AS RESTRICTIONS ARE EASED UP. BE SAFE EVERYONE 💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

a memorial event …………

THIS WEEKEND IN AMERICA IS MEMORIAL DAY, THEY ALSO HAVE VETERANS DAY. 🇺🇸 ARE VERY PROUD OF THEIR VETERANS AND THOSE WHO CONTINUE TO SERVE, AND MY HOW RIGHTLY SO. THEIR PRESIDENT SPEAKS SO OFTEN OF HOW HIGHLY HE VALUES THE MILITARY AND IT IS MY UNDERSTANDING THAT HE HAS BUDGETED AND BUILT IT STRONGER THAN EVER. IF INAM WRONG PLEASE CORRECT ME, B😊UT NICELY PLEASE? MY HOW I ADMIRE THEIR NATIONAL SPIRIT AND PRIDE. THIS MEANS IT IS A LONG WEEKEND. WITH SOME RESTRICTIONS BEING LIFTED IN MANY PLACES, MY PRAYER IS FOR HAPPY PEOPLE TIME, OUTDOORS, BBQ, ENJOYING THE FRESH AIR , ALL WHILST REMEMBERING ALL GAVE SOME…SOME GAVE ALL. 🇺🇸

Hong-Gone…………”

HONG KONG, CITY IN CHINA, HANDED OVER FROM THE BRITISH JULY 1/1997. WOW IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY. PRITI PATEL WAS ADDRESSING THE NATION THIS EVENING, I WATCHED HER ON BBC WORLD. SOUNDING LIKE HOPES PEOPLE HAD FOR HOLIDAY MAY BE DASHED. FOREIGNERS OR THOSE RETURNING FROM SAID HOLIDAY WILL BE REQUIRED TO QUARANTINE FOR 14 DAYS. BEFORE BEING ALLOWED ENTRY, THEY HAVE TO PRODUCE A PLAN, ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER. THERE WILL BE STRICT FOLLOWING. THE FIRST OFFENCE OF NON-COMPLIANCE IS A FINE OF £1000. AFTER THAT FURTHER OFFENCES THE FINE WILL BE “UNLIMITED”.

“well, wake him up Sydney!!………… “bloody hell Sydney “ ………… “ sorry ma’am , Charlotte wants to play bingo”……… “ wonderful , clickerty duck”

YESTERDAY WILLIAM AND CATHERINE HAD A FABULOUS TIME PLAYING BINGO VIRTUALLY WITH SENIORS. AS ALL PROFESSIONAL BINGO PLAYERS KNOW, THERE ARE A

WAYS CUTE SAYINGS AFTER EACH NUMBER. I COMMENTED THIS YESTERDAY, AT LENGTH. MY PARENTS PLAYED EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK, I KID YOU NOT.

SO WE HAVE PRINCESS CHARLOTTE INSISTING SYDNEY DISRUPT HIMSELF’S NAP TO PLAY BINGO WITH HER VIRTUALLY. I TAKE IT HE IS NOT AMUSED🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂. POOR EVER PATIENT SYDNEY. APOLOGIES TO HMTQ FOR THE INTERRUPTION. CLICKETY DUCK WHAT BINGO NUMBER IS THAT? 75 TOP OF THE HOUSE , 1 BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE , HERE 66 IS CLICKETY. CLICK SO I AM GOING FOR 66!! I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT BINGO, TYPES OF GSNES ETC BUT I WILL STOP NOW!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thank you 😊❤️

*Entertainment purposes

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

———————

25. May 23

MM ANON …… 44 million? ………… anons’ how much on clothes?………… “still looked trash”………… evidences of past yachting 😱😱😱😱😱………… LA EX?? ………… “ in Exeter”…………… “ Josh Stones!!“………… a second peak? ……………not in Spain 🥳🥳🥳………… meanwhile in WC. ……… “ gan gan I want a tiara “ ………… “ and one day you shall “ ……… “ is nanny back Catherine?”……… “where’s my bloody slippers “ ……” your wearing them sir”

Thank you😊❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes

MAY 23/2020. RIDDLE #26

44 million? …………

THE HEADLINE WAS £44 000 000 WAS WHAT THE PEOPLES COST WAS FOR THE SUSSEX WEDDING. OUTRAGEOUS ESPECIALLY FOR THE SHABBY SHOW IT WAS. HOW MUCH PUBLIC MONEY WAS RIFLED AWAY IN AN OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT BY SOMEONE AND HER CRONIES. OH INQUIRY BECKONS.

anons’ how much on clothes?………… ““still looked trash”…………

THE UNBELIEVABLE OVERUSAGE OF GIVENCHY AND BAIT AND SWITCH BILLING TWICE SCAM GENERATES A LOT OF REVENUE. CRIMINAL REVENUE. AGAIN WE HAVE A WEBSITE WHO HAS BEEN FLOGGING EVERY SINGLE ITEM. ALOT OF MONEY. WHERE IS IT? INQUIRY BECKONS. ALTHOUGH FOR THIS AND PREVIOUS CLUE INQUIRY HAS LONG BEEN DONE AND KEPT TRACK OF, MANY ARE GOING TO FALL.

evidences of past yachting 😱😱😱😱😱

WILL WE FINALLY SEE THAT DOSSIER OR PARTS THAT THE DM HAS AND OTHER OUTLETS HAVE BEEN SITTING ON? OR HAVE EVEN MORE COME TO LIGHT? TO QUOTE GAME OF THRONES..”WHAT IS DEAD NEVER STAYS BURIED”. NO MATTER FILTH ALWAYS EVENTUALLY IS REVEALED AND CLEANED UP. MAYBE NOT IN A TIMELY MANNER BUT EVENTUALLY.

………… LA EX?? …………

LAX AS WE ALL KNOW IS THE AIRPORT IN L.A. CALIFORNIA. IS ONE OF MADAMS EXES COMING TO GIVE INFORMATION TO THE STAR CHAMBER OR THE SECURITY SERVICES? THEY HAVE BOTH SAT QUIETLY BY AT LEAST PUBLICLY ANYWAYS. INTERESTING IF THIS WERE TRUE.

OF COURSE MADAM IS NOT IN L.A. SHE HAS NEVER LEFT THE U.K. DESPITE HER BAD PR FLURRY TO THE CONTRARY. I DEFINITELY BELIEVE THEIR MARRIAGE ENDED, OOOOOH HUGE THUNDER HERE NOW😮😮😮😮, SORRY GOT A STARTLE BY THAT, AT CANADA HOUSE BY A OR D , I HAVE SAID IT SO OFTEN, I HOPE FOR A AS IN ANNULMENT.

“ in Exeter”……………

A NURSE I USED TO WORK WITH HER DAUGHTER MARRIED A CHAP FROM EXETER, SHE BROUGHT ME A LOVELY PAIR OF CELTIC CROSS EARRINGS FROM THERE. WHAT NOW WE HAVE A SIGHTING IN EXETER? THIS HAD TO BE MADAM, AFTER ALL THE BLACKENED OUT DISCOVERYS WERE YAKING HER FOR A DRIVE THE OTHER DAY. AREN’T RIDDLES FOR ENTERTAINMENT FUN 😉? WHAT IS NEAR THERE?

“ Josh Stones!!“…………

JOSS STONE, FABULOUS SINGER, HAS BEEN IN THE BOYS ORBIT FOR AGES. I BELIEVE SHE WAS AT EUGENIE’S WEDDING, I CANNOT RECALL IF SHE WAS AT WILLIAM OR HARRY’S, SUCH AS HIS WAS. HERE WE HAVE JOSH, MALE NAME OR JUST JOSHING HERE MEAN JUST KIDDING AROUND . STONES PLURAL. TWO EXCLAMATION MARKS. STONES IS ALSO A MEASUREMENT OF WEIGHT. WE KNOW ADELE HAS LOST MEGA WEIGHT BUT JOSS IS TINY. BUT JOSH HMMMMM NOT SURE KIDS.

a second peak? ……………

COVID-19 AGAIN, HERE WE HAVE BEEN TOLD THEY FEAR A SECOND WAVE OR PEAK IN THE AUTUMN WHEN FLU SEASON RAMPS UP. WE NEED TO SERIOUSLY KEEP HANDWASHING, PHYSICAL DISTANCING ETC. I FEAR THIS GREATLY. AS THINGS UNLOCKDOWN, WHICH IS BADLY NEEDED FOR MENTAL HEALTH AND THE ECONOMY, THINGS WILL BE CLOSELY MONITORED.

not in Spain 🥳🥳🥳…………

HERE WE HAVE SPAIN AND THREE CHEERS, I TAKE THIS AS AS NANNY BORROLLO HAS RETURNED, AND OUT OF QUARANTINE BEEN TESTED AND IS HEALTHY . THREE CHEERING CAMBRDIGE CHILDREN.

meanwhile in WC. ……… “ gan gan I want a tiara “ ………… “ and one day you shall “ ……… “ is nanny back Catherine?”……… “where’s my bloody slippers “ ……” your wearing them sir”

REMINDS ME OF THE SAYING, MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH😂😂😂🤣. HERE WE HAVE WC WHICH IS OF COURSE WINDSOR CASTLE. MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE RIDDLE. HERE WE HAVE THE DAILY VIRTUAL VISITS BETWEEN HMTQ AND PP WITH THE CAMBRDIGES. CHARLOTTE IS JONESING FOR A TIARA, GAN GAN ASSURES HER SHE SHALL ONE DAY WEAR ONE. HOW SPLENDID WILL THAT DAY BE EH? YESTERDAY I READ THAT CHARLOTTE WILL BE THE NEXT PRINCESS ROYAL, ONCE THE TIME COMES. OF COURSE WE KNOW HRH PRINCESS ANNE IS CURRENTLY THE PRINCESS ROYAL TITLE HOLDER.

SOUNDS LIKE NANNY HAS BEEN AWAY, OR WHY WOULD SHE NOT BE THERE. HAVE THEY BEEN IN LOCKDOWN WITHOUT NANNY? WAS SHE VISITING HOME ON SPAIN AND QUARANTINED FOR 14 DAYS? NANNY IS MARIAM BORROLLO.

MY MY PP HIMSELF IS MUTTERING WONDERING WHERE IS SLIPPERS HAVE GONE TO AND EVER PATIENT SYNDEY TELLS HIM HE HAS THEM ON. I RECALL DRIVING WITH A FRIEND AND SHE WAS MADLY LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. I FINALLY SAID WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR, SHE SAID MY SUNGLASSES, I SAID YOU HAVE THEM ON YOUR HEAD😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣. SHE HAD MOVED THEM UP TO LOOK FOR GUM OR SOMETHING GOT DISTRACTED AND WELL….THE REST IS HISTORY.😊😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

Thank you😊❤️❤️❤️❤️

*Entertainment purposes

——————-

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saltine-kakyoin · 4 years

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OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him.

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

#me when i talk to jules- floods her w a wall of songs #me when i talk to ruth- floods her with a wall of incomprehensible thoughts #the lov is stored in the walls of text! ; O ;#thank you again ruth!!!! this was really fun to write out and i may have cried while writing a few bits but it's fiiiine #i loved writing this 🥰#long post #like INCREDIBLY long post!!!!#sriracha ask game #fullmetal-the-last-alchemist

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antiquatedfuture · 5 years

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Zine Care Packages (Antiquated Future Spring Newsletter)

What a challenging time. Things have felt pretty bleak and I debated about whether to send this spring newsletter a lot, but friends convinced me we're all in need of good news. If nothing else, I want to say two things: 1) We'll still be shipping orders (with plenty of hand-washing and sanitizing) several times a week. 2) While we always appreciate and need your financial support, we'd also like to offer the resources we have to any of you who are having a hard time.

In short: We're offering free zines (and tapes and books) to anyone who's currently struggling financially, mentally, or physically right now. No need to tell us details, just email and say "I'd like a package," and we'll send one your way. Let it be a surprise or make a list of what you'd like and we'll send you what we can. Feel free to spread the word to your friends and community through our Facebook or Twitter posts. It's not much, admittedly, but hopefully it's something.

In more general distro news: we have a few more calendars & planners in stock (and very very on sale), we’ve been restocking things as much as we can, and we accidentally left up our temporary store-wide cassette sale (that also includes a decent handful of LPs and CDs) as well as our zine sale on select titles. We also just posted a newsletter from the record label side of Antiquated Future. We're currently lending some small financial assistance to Portland writer Martha Grover as she recovers from a brain surgery by selling a fundraiser pack of her Somnambulist zine. And if you're in the Portland area, we're helping do porch deliveries of food, baby supplies, and various resources. Please reach out if you'd like one or you know someone in need.

NEW ZINES Antonia- A rare, almost-sublime zine about place, memory, and lost history. About the ways things change and stay the same. About how the place you're from shapes who you become. About growing up in a small Midwestern town without a zip code, a place not on most maps. ($5) Behind the Zines #9: A Zine About Zines- The latest issue of newest best zine about zines around. Within: the evolution of DIY comics culture, zine-fest history, imagined zines, One Punk's Guide to collaborative zines, a history of that one Crimethinc poster, The Most Unwanted Zine, confessions of a sex-zine zinester. Contributions from our own Gina Sarti, as well as John Porcellino and so many others. ($3) Brainscan #34: A Dabbler's Week of DIY Witchery- In the wake of the controversy surrounding a recent viral article about spending a week "becoming a witch," Alex considers what her guide to a witchcraft practice would look like. The results are a day-by-day guide to trying out her particular variety of secular witchcraft (that she lovingly refers to as "DIY witchery"). ($4)

Caboose #12: Jury Duty- A personal story of serving as a juror on a medical malpractice suit. As usual, Liz Mason's playful, endlessly curious take on the world makes this a ride worth taking. A peek into the court system through the eyes of this long-running zine-star. ($4) Clock Tower Nine #15- One of our favorite Seattle zines is back with tales from the record store counter, long walks in various locales, dangerous doppelgängers, and 8-track tapes. As Clock Tower Nine ringleader Danny Noonan describes it in the introduction: "This fanzine is like a bunch of people sitting around a fire in late fall, all taking turns telling a story." ($3) Cometbus #59: Post-Mortem- How does Cometbus, after 38 years as a zine, just get better and better? It's a mystery, but it does. Issue 59 is a deep dive into both death and longevity in the underground. In short: what does sustainability look like in counterculture? This question takes Aaron on a journey from the Epitaph Records and Thrasher magazine offices to hanging out at a punk-owned vegan donut shop and a tamale stand at the farmer's market with Allison Wolfe (of Bratmobile). ($5)

Doris #23- A back-issue fave from one of the best zines ever. Long personal stories that look both outward and inward in surprising ways. ($2) Doris #26- Shy-punk-girl comics, social ecology, the cynical hour, a grandpa who built malls, hammer and nail history, and more. ($2) Eulalia #3- Two issues of the art zine Eulalia in one. Grief and romance, hand-in-hand. Gorgeously designed! Letterpress-printed covers. Each issue is bound with a special do-si-do binding, so each half can be read separately. ($10) Fluke Fanzine #17- Since 1991, Fluke has been creating great variety zines covering all realms of punk and underground culture. Graphic novelist Nate Powell, skateboard magazine historians, Maximum Rocknroll, R.E.M., '90s women-led punk, the Soophie Nun Squad family tree, more. ($3)

Forever & Everything #5- Comics on parenting, depression, coffee, therapy, alcohol, Willie Nelson, Charlie Brown, and living in New Orleans. ($5) Good Days Gone Cold Days- A photography zine/art zine made while living and working in "a house without heat, without doorknobs, and without much insulation or electricity to speak of" for a late fall in western Pennsylvania. Comes with homemade bookmark, building permit, and banjo tab. ($12) Keep Loving, Keep Fighting #8- A reprint of this 2008 issue of Keep Loving, Keep Fighting. Forty pages of feeling at home in New Orleans, communication between friends, death, visiting Montreal, and moving away. ($5)

Learning Good Consent- An essential compilation zine about consent. From personal stories to worksheets, approaches, definitions, resources, and beyond, Learning Good Consent is here to help us all feel more comfortable and be more respectful. ($4)

Little Leagues #1- The companion comics scrapbook to Simon Moreton's epic Minor Leagues series. Prose, comics and photos about being in Japan, making chutney, experiencing autumn. ($3) Little Leagues #2- Comics about being in the snow. Drawings and photos of spring. A fold-out cover with facts about lesser-spotted dogfish. ($3) Our Lady of Near Death Experiences- Jodi Darby writes about becoming a cross-country truck driver as a 23-year-old woman in the mid 1990s. A mini-memoir told in vignettes, Our Lady is a twisted love song to the road in all its complexities. A gorgeous reprint of this zine classic from 1998. (And we have the last few copies before it goes out of print!) ($10)

The Paruretic #1: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy- The first issue of one of our favorite new zine series. The Paruretic tells what the intricacies and complexities of life with parusesis, the social phobia of being pee shy. Illuminating, accessible, and worth reading every issue. ($2)

The Paruretic #2: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (College)- In this issue, Mark recalls figuring out the debilitating effects of his bladder issues when he goes to college and, for the first time, navigates living in dorms, drinking at college-town bars, and hooking-up. ($3)

The Paruretic #3: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (Vacation)- In this issue: searching out acceptable bathrooms while on the road, not urinating for ten hours while in the air, and a bathroom-by-bathroom diary of experiences. ($3) The Paruretic #4: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (The Search for Help)- In this issue, Mark reaches out, looking for help, and is met with a less-than-sympathetic medical system. Within: clueless medical professionals, almost losing a job over a urinalysis, and finally finding someone who understands. ($3) The Paruretic #5: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (Dating)- The dating issue covers how Mark handled (or avoided handling) dating in high school and college. It's a chronicle of, as Mark says, "how my shy bladder has driven every part of my love life." ($3)

Somnambulist Zine Pack Fundraiser- For the past 17 years, Portland memoirist and illustrator Martha Grover has been publishing Somnambulist zine, an expansive and playful look at the world at large (and easily one of the best zines running today). This pack includes all nine in-print issues of Somnambulist (a $40 value for $25!). All proceeds go straight to Martha's brain surgery recovery fund. Help a great writer, get nine amazing zines. ($25) Somnambulist #33: How to Survive the Portland Winter- A fun how-to guide from Portland-born writer Martha Grover. Within: dealing with all the rain, taking care of your mental health, venturing out, staying in, eating soup (with recipes!), and the truth about umbrellas. Illustrated by Liz Yerby. ($5)

Somnambulist #34: The Starfish- A single, long-form essay about Martha's journey through Cushing's disease and Addison's disease, and the lingering tumor she's chosen to not demonize or see as something separate. The Starfish is a surprising and exciting meditation on what it means to be in a body. ($3) Surely, They'll Tear it Down- A short zine letter about gender, race, identity, and not-knowing from the author of Fixer Eraser and We, the Drowned. ($2) Tattoo Punk Fanzine, Issue 3- A jam-packed new issue of Tattoo Punk, the fanzine about tattoos, punks, and tattooed punks. Edited by Ben Trogdon of everyone's favorite artsy punk paper, Nuts! ($15) Valentines Every Day- Weirdo anytime-valentines from zine-seller extraordinaire, Julie Wade. Funny, bizarre, off-kilter, occasionally unsettling. The perfect gift for that especially-odd someone. ($6) What Happened- A dreamy comic from UK artist Simon Moreton. Set in a '90s boyhood of meadows, sci-fi VHS tapes, MTV, crushes, first kisses. ($5)

NEW BOOKS & MISCELLANY The Collected Plays by Portland Preschoolers- In short: One of our favorite little books around! A modern classic, even. Five years of collected plays written by Portland, Oregon preschoolers. Hilarious, invariably bizarre, oddly brilliant, sometimes surprisingly profound. Perfect for putting out on the coffee table, reading aloud to friends, impromptu group performances. ($10) Four-Year Depression- A book about figuring out how to love your family in the Trump era. From Billy McCall of Proof I Exist and Behind the Zines. ($10) Zine Game- A long-time favorite in the zine community, now in a fancy, professionally-made version accessible to all game lovers. Playing like a cross between canasta and Magic: The Gathering, Zine Game is all about building your own zines. A really fun time with tons of possibilities. ($16)

NEW MUSIC & SPOKEN WORD Alice Notley "Live in Seattle"- An LP of one of the most adored living poets. Alice Notley pushes boundaries, and it's an absolute joy to hear her reading her work. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Annelyse Gelman & Jason Grier "About Repulsion"- A collaboration between poet Annelyse Gelman and sound artist Jason Grier. About Repulsion mixes songs, sampled poems, textural walls, beats, noise, to create this EP of one-of-a-kind soundscapes. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Eileen Myles "Aloha / Irish Trees"- The legendary poet Eileen Myles, on vinyl for the first time. Aloha/Irish Trees features nearly an hour of Myles live in the studio, reading past and present poems. Intimate, playful, raw. (LP + digital download) ($16.95)

Harmony Holiday "The Black Saint and the Sinnerman"- Harmony Holiday's record of poems and sound collage. Adventurous and accessible, twisting cultural images into something surprising, political, socially aware. In conversation with Charles Mingus’ classic 1963 album The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Rae Armantrout "Conflation"- Fifty-four surprising and gloriously unique poems from Rae Armantrout, a Pulitzer-winning poet of great gifts. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Susan Howe & Nathaniel Mackey "Stray: A Graphic Tone"- Made in collaboration with Shannon Ebner, Stray: A Graphic Tone juxtaposes historic and recent material from poets Susan Howe and Nathaniel Mackey. An adventurous LP of spoken word delights. (LP + digital download) ($16.95)

Stay well, take care of each other as much as possible. Xo, Antiquated Future

#zine distro #new zines #zines #chapbooks #spoken word #vinyl #new lps #new books #care packages #zine care packages #free zines #portland

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valiancyvulnerability · 4 years

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Body Image and Young People

This is a big topic that has so many layers to it. I have been trying to collect my thoughts the past few days in order to try to cover as much as I could, so I am going to do my best.

I want to begin by going into detail about my battle with my own body over the years, in detail, in order to create a clear image about what goes through someone’s brain that is struggling with severe confidence issues.

I never was a skinny kid, necessarily, but sports were never truly my scene. Throughout my last few years of elementary school and middle school, I was pudgier than most of the kids in my grade, but I was not an unhealthy weight by any means. That being said, as I mentioned, I didn’t play sports, so I was already a target for people that felt superior to me as someone who wasn’t athletic and was “heavier”. This was the stem of my self-confidence issues, but it didn’t get to its worst until I was in high school.

I became accustomed to swimming fully clothed at pool parties, wearing clothes that were oversized in order to cover any lines or bumps that I felt like were flaws on my frame. If that meant wearing sweaters and sweatpants in the summer, then that’s what I needed to do.

When I turned sixteen, I wanted to change my whole image into someone I wasn’t (see past blog posts) and started working out excessively and cut my eating almost entirely in order to lose weight, and in my head, get people to like me. I got results both physically and socially and ended up losing about twenty-five pounds, so I persisted. I was so focused on how I was viewed by people, that I failed to acknowledge the issue at hand until February of 2020.

My anxiety was at its peak and when Covid-19 hit, I found myself alone and focusing on nothing else but what I was eating, what I looked like, and what number the scale flashed back at me. I substituted all my meals with a powder drink that satisfied me for a few hours, and then I would repeat. I lost about twenty pounds in a month.

The way this situation is different, though, is that I wasn’t attempting weight loss in order to please others, it was a competition with myself, and it wasn’t a friendly one. I didn’t view it as what it truly was until I started passing out. One afternoon, I got ready to take prom pictures with my friends with a local photographer in my town. I went to go pick up my friends and got out of the car and they started speaking to me, but I could hear nothing--I blacked. I started sweating and couldn’t form my sentences properly. I would get up and walk to my bedroom when I felt it coming, and I would just wipe out completely. I knew it was an issue, but it was not enough to get me to stop what I had already started, because I wanted results. Anytime we would get carry-out or I would eat an actual meal, I would return to my room and tremble, thinking about every bite of food I had just consumed.

Although I am on a more nourishing and healthy track now, it is still a daily occurrence where I want to slap myself across the face for eating breakfast, for going out to dinner with my family, or for having a snack now and then. I have spent many a night, alone, driving around screaming and crying at nothing simply for feeling the way I do. It’s almost an addictive behavior that I didn’t want to acquire, but the truth is that I did, and I am doing my best to overcome the obsession that gets in the way of my everyday routine, and we are getting somewhere.

Enough about me, though. The reason I am writing this in the first place is because I have so much to say as it’s something I know I am still personally dealing with, and I know the majority of people my age are. If we are being honest, we all would change something about our body if we could. Whether it be that we want to lose weight, or gain it, we all have our personal battles. In today’s day and age, though, it’s a more toxic world regarding body image and perception. Here is why.

SOCIAL MEDIA

As of 2019, teenagers often spent up to nine hours on social media on a daily basis. The most toxic platforms for young people struggling with their body, in my opinion, would be Instagram and TikTok. Because most social media apps are programmed to spit out information and content that interests the user, the posts that are viewed are specific to each individual.

With Instagram, especially, everyone aspires to be an “influencer”. They are skinny, tan, have clear skin, travel, eat power foods, and young people love that. The reality is, is that most of us don’t live perfect lives like that, but we truly wish we did, so we want to get as close as we can.

With this, diet culture is a very popular concept among those wanting to bring a change to their bodies. Although this has been something that has been advertised for years now, mainly for adults, the new wave of diets for adolescents is scary. Most of them are malnourishing and can do more damage than one would think. Often times, though, they are bizarre or unheard of, but seem simple enough for someone who wants fast results. Because of this, once again, it’s easy for both myself and people my age to get reeled in quickly into that idea.

(I don’t want parents reading this to think that this necessarily entails that social media needs to be taken from their teenagers, but it is something to be aware of. Social media is a great way to stay connected (especially now) and gives us a voice to do good and bring change, as well.)

THE SOCIAL FACTOR

Because this is an issue that most of the youth deals with, whether it be minor or major, it can become a competition without intending it to be. If my friends are losing weight, why aren’t I? If they’re doing this diet, then I need to. They feel better about themselves than I do. What am I doing wrong?

If you find yourself feeling like this too often, and it gets to a point where it gets in the way of your relationships, then it’s a conversation to be had. You shouldn’t have to feel like you are competing with those you hold close to you, but you also shouldn’t feel like you have to walk on eggshells every time you are with them to not say the wrong thing. Find some common ground, and support each other at times of insecurity.

High school can be a terrible atmosphere for someone who feels like their weight isn’t ideal. Teenagers are quick to make mindless comments and insults about people’s appearance. Whether it comes from a place of low self-esteem themselves or not, it doesn’t justify it, and this can be a direct and harsh cause of body image problems.

THE MENTAL FACTOR

If someone struggles with general anxiety, depression, or another mental condition, having your body as an enemy can sometimes heighten the severity of the issue as a whole. It truly goes hand in hand. For me, my anxiety was at its worst when my eating habits were at its worst. I was focused on what I was eating, focused on what the scale read back to me, and in the rare moments I wasn’t fixed on that, it was worrying about other things happening in my life. Everything was just raised to a higher degree.

The two words I have been trying to avoid so far, “eating disorder”, is something that I would love to say is just a false or dramatic phrase, but the reality is is that it’s a demon, and a real one. With the world of social media, again, they’re often glorified to be an artsy aesthetic to be achieved. Eating disorders does not mean “just not eating”. It can be anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, body dysmorphia, and because there are so many forms, it’s not always going to be apparent just looking at a person. Often times it isn’t. That is something to keep in mind, because one of the most damaging things for someone struggling with an ED is making them feel like their issues aren’t valid because it’s not physically obvious to you, or that someone else is worse off in your eyes.

HEALING

The first step that has helped me, personally, is just becoming comfortable. I need to become comfortable with myself in the way I am now for me to appreciate any way my body looks in the future. If I’m unhappy with myself now, when am I ever going to be happy, regardless of the supposed improvements I’m making? It’s been a tricky thing for me to figure out, but I force myself to go to pool parties, I hang out around the house sometimes just wearing underwear, so I can become familiar and comfortable with seeing myself and my body so I can reach a point to where that’s normal.

The next thing is to follow the steps that you know are going to be beneficial and healthy for you. If that means working out to gain muscle, to lose weight, or dieting, then do it, BUT do it in such a way that is going to be, again, beneficial. Don’t go to the extremes for quicker results, because you will end up falling down a hole that will be hard to climb out of.

Lastly, if you see fit, go to therapy! There’s a large stigma around therapy as it makes people think that those who go are insane or can’t function on their own, which is far from the truth. Think of it as more of a helping hand from someone who has a different view and has solutions that may be overall helpful. Reading this blog is simply just how I see things, and that goes for any post I make. I am not a professional. I am not an expert. I am an eighteen year-old that just wants to share his experiences in order to bring awareness. There are many great therapists out there, and there are several websites you can visit to find one that meets your needs specifically.

I am overjoyed to see that the modeling industry, for example, is heading in a more positive direction as far as inclusivity goes. Plus-size models, LGBTQ+, and people of color are booking shows, spreads, and can be seen on billboards. This is just the start, and the rest lies within everyone as people to stop shaming others for their appearance, because if we didn’t from the beginning, there would be no reason for anyone to feel uncomfortable in their own skin to begin with. Imagine a world free of judgment for a moment. Imagine how differently every single person on the planet would be living. It’s something to think about.

I want to reiterate--don’t be afraid to ask for help! It is a direct demonstration of strength, rather than weakness, to admit that you need an outside source to help you get through whatever battle you may be experiencing.

And as always, be kind to one another and stay safe out there!

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