#i wanted to write them actually interacting but i cant think of anything-

[danidoesathing]

legitimately debating on deleting and rewriting this entire section of my fic but like. what do I even replace it with

[meringuejellyfish]

i think the fact that witch hat atelier somewhat struggles with introducing a few too many characters at a time but then not really taking the time to fully flesh out or utilize them leaving for much to desire from characters that do appear to be quite interesting is something i consider a blunder of the series but its also rather humorous to me because i think this author just really likes character design i will be honest

[camptw1nk]

I log into my other blogs multiple times every day and yet. Nothing Happens on them

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

not to be a smug asshole but its kind of rich how if you say you dont like a thing on the internet everyone who likes that thing automatically assumes you just “don’t get it” and tries to explain to you why the thing is Good, Actually. like maybe i already understand why people like the thing. maybe i have reasons to not like the thing that YOU are refusing to entertain. maybe i used to like the thing because of the specific reasons that you’re writing essays to me about. but then i realized that the thing sucks shit and the reasons why people like it isn’t enough to make it good for me again. maybe my dislike of the thing isn’t because im a stupid idiot who couldn’t put two thoughts together to realize why the thing is good. and maybe i feel belittled and dare i say offended when 12 people condescendingly explain to me why it’s okay that i don’t like the thing, but also refuse to stop explaining the same 2 reasons why THEY like the thing, or even let me defend why i dislike the thing, until i agree with them that the thing is good. all because i dared to express mild disdain on the internet

[morningmarionette]

im currently writing an atsugawa (I hate the name shin soukoku or whatever I'm sorry but I'm actually not. also I cannot pronounce soukoku {this is the real reason I don't use soukoku}) and I don't even ship it lmaoo

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I'm the anon who sent the ask about Pack Mum and her frustrations; your version is fucking top notch (I'm just a switchy bitch lol) and let's be real, don't we all need a bit of that in our lives? 😩😩😩 would love to see Chris' version of that too, whatever you write is going to be amazing either way 😍

previous ask for reference

fun fact, i have a handful of drabbles written for these two that have never left my google docs (some of them probably won't, ever), since i use them as practice. for this particular scenario i already had something written, so might as well share it with y'all. please bear with me, this is barely proof read sjkdfhsdkjf

Pairing: Werewolf!Chan x Human!F.Reader (one of the main pairings of my WereRoomies series, but you don’t really need to read any other instalments to understand/enjoy this one). | Word Count: ~2k. | Warnings: smut | established relationship · pet names · oral [F.&M.Rec] · edging · face sitting/fucking, all that good stuff · spanking

minors do not interact.

> Chris💕🐺: pretty baby  > howre u feeling today > ???

< You: hey darling < i’m very meh < but still standing so it’s fine < you? 

> Chris💕🐺: im having a really bad day > dont wanna get into details but god i just wanna be home

< You: oh no ): < can i help you in any way?

You saw the ‘Typing…’ text under Chris’ contact name pop up and disappear a few times before he finally replied.

> Chris💕🐺: actually… > maybe > u can say no btw > but > would u sit on my face and let me edge you for a long while when im back home?

< You: how long is a long while?

> Chris💕🐺: a really long while > as much as u can stand it > just wanna dive between ur legs > want to suffocate on your cunt and your thighs baby > so bad > fuck > had to come to hide in the restroom for a bit cuz im so hard rn just thinking about it

You couldn’t help but chuckle. But being honest with yourself, the proposition certainly gave you a similar reaction to Chris’. All you could think about now was having your boyfriend’s tongue between your legs, aided by his lips and his nose to bring you to that sweet, sweet edge over and over again…

Wetness was starting to pool at your centre, your thighs pressed together to ease some of that familiar ache, and you honestly had to make the conscious effort to remember you were still at the office, in a very public space.

Your phone vibrating again in your hand brought you back from your little day dream.

> Chris💕🐺: again > u can totally say no

< You: mmm🤔 < i’d love to sit on my alpha’s handsome face < would you let me grind on it baby?

> Chris💕🐺: fuck… yes > anything as long as u just dont come > not until i tell you to > or until u cant take it anymore > yeah? 

< You: yea 😇

> Chris💕🐺: fuck > ure so good to me pretty > seriously > im gonna make u feel so good love > hydrate yourself as much as u can > its gonna be so worth it > love u prettiest

< You: love you babiest

The rest of your workday was honestly a blur. All you could think about was the evening that awaited you. So, when you finally reached home–with your boyfriend nowhere in sight–you simply took a quick shower to get squeaky clean and got yourself into one of his t-shirts to ensure his scent was all over you when he came home.

As soon as Chris made it through the front door he gave you a quick kiss, dropped his belongings wherever, and made a beeline to the bathroom to take a shower–all as he discarded pieces of clothing on the way. A very delightful sight, you’d admit.

Now here you were, laying on the sofa and scrolling on your phone, waiting for him to come out.

The second he’d gotten out of the shower, barely even patting himself dry, with his hair still wet, Chris made his way to you.

Before you could even stand up, he was already hovering over you, kissing you deeply for a moment, only to finally trace a path of kisses to your neck so he could nibble at your pulsepoint.

“Been thinking about you all day, pretty baby”, he mumbled against your skin, licking the area and kissing it after. 

“Me too, darling…” A sigh of relief passed your lips, while you all but melted under the attention your boyfriend was providing to your neck. “You got me so wet”, taking a hold of his hand, you guided it to your core, where his fingers traced your folds, spreading your essence with a deep inhale. “So fucking wet just thinking about you, Chris”. 

“Fuck…You smell so fucking good…” Burying his face further in the crook of your neck, he sucked on your pulse point, just as he eased two fingers into you, making you moan in surprise as he diligently massaged your walls. 

You bared your neck, giving your boyfriend plenty of room for him to paint purple roses on your skin. Holding tightly onto his arms, you couldn’t help but squirm a little when he started to thrust his fingers in and out of you, once he started curling them to hit that sweet spot within your warmth.

“So tight, baby…” Chris mumbled as he eased a third finger into you, making you whine at the delicious stretch. “We don’t fuck for a couple of days and it’s almost like your cunt has forgotten me…” 

You shook your head, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in your mouth. “Impossible. She–she knows who she belongs to”.

“Fuck…” Pulling his fingers out of you, he straightened himself. “Come here, beautiful”.

Chris laid down, motioning for you to place each knee next to his head. You did as asked, staring at him between your legs as you lowered yourself, hovering just a bit while he caressed your thighs. 

“C’mon, baby”, Chris borderline whined, bringing his hands to your hips and holding you tightly. “Sit”. 

“I’m…baby, I don’t wanna crush you”.

This was a common debate when you found yourselves in this situation. Sometimes you didn’t even need to think twice about complying, but, as a heavier person, other times you were a bit unsure. Today was one of those days, clearly. And as usual, your boyfriend was quick to reassure you.

“Babe, we’ve been through this. I’m a fucking animal, remember? All that werewolf thing? You’re not gonna crush me”, he chuckled. “Sit on me, get comfy, and brace yourself, yeah?” 

With a deep inhale, you nodded, finally lowering yourself all the way. You couldn’t hold back the gasp that left your mouth as soon as you felt Chris’ tongue make contact with your heat. “Oh–”

His tongue running through your folds, teasing your entrance, licking your clit, sucking on it…Every single one of his motions had tingles of pleasure travelling up and down your spine, had your chest heaving, and quiet whines coming out of your mouth.

Bringing his hands to your thighs, he held you tightly in place, so tight you wondered if you’d see a mark left in the shape of his fingers later–something you were admittedly eager to see. He was groaning a lot, you were moaning a lot, and, in no time, he had reduced you to a whimpering mess.

Maybe it was all that daydreaming you’d been doing after he sent you those texts, maybe it was just how good your boyfriend was at working you up, but you were very quickly getting close to the edge, almost ready to tip over it.

“Baby…Chris, fuck, I’m…close”, your voice quivered a bit, and Chris simply hummed in response, finally slowing his movements. 

His hands roamed your body as his tongue flicked your sensitive nub, the pressure was light enough that the signs of your approaching orgasm seemed to be fading away. In all honesty, you weren’t sure if you were going to stand this at all. You’d try, of course, but you realised very quickly how badly you wanted your relief.

Kneading your breasts, Chris simply continued his motions, slowly licking your clit, or dipping his tongue inside of you for a taste. You couldn’t help but roll your hips, trying to get some extra stimulation. And whenever he licked at your entrance, his nose would bump your clit, and it had you pathetically whining as you ground your core on his face. 

When Chris finally opened his eyes to look at you, you stared right back. 

That stare-off had the fine hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, and you were immediately trapped in that undeniably predator look of his.

It was kind of amusing, how that look seemed to have the complete opposite effect it should have on you. It should’ve made you feel intimidated, scared, but after spending this much time with Chris, after giving yourself to him so many times already, the trust you had in him made it so that stare of his just made you want to be closer to him. It enticed you, it made you shiver, made you wetter, and, right now, just by looking at him, at that utterly primal desire in his eyes, you could feel yourself grow closer to your climax again.

You genuinely couldn’t tell how long you spent right there. You had already lost count of how many times he’d brought you to the edge by the fifth time. Your legs were starting to burn, your lower back hurt, and you suddenly felt like you needed something in your mouth. 

“C–Chris”, you tugged on his hair, gasping when he quickened the pace of his tongue. “Baby… Want–”

He squeezed your bum, one butcheek in each hand, surely bruising you with the strength of his grip. It made you dizzy, and you were sure you were dripping all over him by now. He released his hold on one of your buttocks, only to land a harsh smack on it after, urging you to speak, making you shamelessly moan with the action. 

Chris hardly ever spanked you–aside from a playful, mild smack here and there. He’d told you before that he felt like he already put your body through so much with everything else, adding that, too, was just unnecessary, and that it could possibly hurt you too much. But, fuck, if the sting felt good whenever he did.

“Need your cock, baby”, you finally sighed, trembling with your upcoming release. Chris gave you a curious look, not stopping his tongue for a second, so you decided to clarify. “In my mouth, Chris. Please…”

Taking a hold of your hips, he lifted you up a bit, enough to talk. “Turn around, pretty”.

Your legs were incredibly unsteady, but you managed to do it, finally laying on Chris with his tongue once again in its rightful place within your warmth. 

Saliva pooled in your mouth at the sight of your boyfriend’s cock. Incredibly hard, twitching, and with an impressive pool of pre-cum under his tip where it laid on his lower abdomen. He was clearly enjoying this a lot, and just the sight had you clenching with need..

When you took him in your hand, his thighs jerked a bit, and a moan muffled against your skin as he continued to feast on your cunt. You simply pumped him in your hand, once, twice, relishing just how hard he was. 

Wasting no more time, you licked a long stripe from his base to the tip, swirling your tongue around it for good measure. Until, finally, you took him in your mouth, eliciting a shared moan from the both of you. 

Chris’ hands dragged up and down your back, kneading your flesh as he went, moaning against your heat whenever you got him deeper into your mouth, whenever your nails dug on his thighs. 

All of a sudden, you felt Chris’ hand land harshly on one of your buttocks. The sudden sting made you moan around his length and clench around thin air. He did it again on the other, holding the supple flesh of your bum tightly in his hands right after in an attempt to soothe your skin. 

His length popped out of your mouth with a sinful sucking sound. With a hazy mind and a needy cunt, you were speaking before you could think twice about it. “More…”

Chris immediately complied, smacking one of your buttcheeks again, groaning lowly as your moans spilled freely out in the room without his cock in your mouth.

He repeated the motions a handful of times, all while you jerked him to the best of your now compromised motor skills. Your moans got increasingly more desperate the more he spanked you, and your whole body trembled with arousal.

“Pretty…” Chris mumbled, keeping you off of him enough so you could hear him, although you barely could, you were too far gone. “Put my cock back in your mouth, baby. Suck me off, and when I spank you again, you can come. Okay?” 

“Okay…”

“Good, good girl”, Chris pulled you back on his mouth, eliciting a shaky moan from your lips. 

You did as asked, taking him once again into your mouth and sucking him, rather eagerly, if you might add. Your lips caught on the ridge of his head time and time again, his tongue and his lips focused on your clit, licking and sucking harder and faster by the second, just how he did whenever he wanted you to come, and when you finally felt the sting on your ass again, you could hardly make sense of your surroundings anymore.

Before you knew it, your entire body shook with your release, desperately moaning around Chris’ length as pleasure tears fell from your eyes. It was so much, so intense, and when Chris held the back of your head in place with one of his hands and started to thrust up into your mouth you were sure you had already died and gone to heaven.

It felt like you were coming for an eternity, the sheer intensity of your release had you shaking and squirming in your boyfriend’s hold. The most satisfying part of it all, though, was when you vaguely registered Chris’ warmth flooding your mouth, making you moan once again just at the feel of his cum going down your throat, making you dizzy just by the blissed-out sounds that were coming out of his mouth. 

You swallowed it all, sucking on his tip until the very last drop of his release had coated your tongue, and as soon as Chris detached himself from your core, your body slumped, your vision clouded, and a ringing broke free in your ears.

“Baby? Baby, please. Talk to me”, Chris sounded so close. But how could he if your heads were in completely opposite directions?

“Pretty?” You felt his hands on your cheeks, and once you opened your eyes and saw the worried look on his face, you realised you were laying on the sofa, while he was crouching on the floor next to you. When did he move? He was just below you a few seconds ago. 

“Did I…Did I pass out?” You blinked at him, reaching for his hand on your face to softly caress the back of it. 

“Fuck, you did. For a few seconds. I thought I had choked you to death. Are you okay? I’m so sorry”, he was going into his Protective Alpha mode, and it made you smile. 

“I’m fine, baby. Don’t apologise. Give me a kiss”, you did feel a bit lightheaded, but you also felt light all over, as if your crushing orgasm had taken all the tension off of your body completely.

Chris sighed, pecking your lips, your nose, your cheeks, all over your face. “Fuck, give me a second. I’ll bring you some water”. 

You simply hummed, stretching your achy limbs and turning on your other side to face the backrest.

When Chris came back, you gulped the glass of water in one go before you gave it back to him so he could place it on the coffee table. 

You made grabby hands at him, and he chuckled, laying behind you and pulling you to his chest so he could press kisses on your shoulder.

“That was insane”, you mumbled while you caressed the arm he had wrapped around your waist. 

“It was, fuck…I got too carried away, you’re all bruised, love”, his fingers gently traced the curve of your bum, and you leaned into his touch. 

“Felt so good, though”, you sighed, content, further pressing your back to his chest. “So good I passed out, baby. That’s a new record”. 

Chris giggled, and you couldn’t help but giggle as well. 

“Do you feel better?” You asked, snuggling closer, relishing his warmth on your back, his warmth all around you.

“I feel like I won a million euros, a billion dollars, a trillion won…You get the point”, Chris nuzzled your nape, pressing lingering kisses there, all as he brought a hand to your belly to lightly squish your soft flesh. “Honestly just what I needed. For my pretty girlfriend to feel insanely good, and to blow my load in her perfect, warm mouth”.

You chuckled, taking a hold of his hand and bringing it to your lips so you could press a kiss on his palm, right before you turned around in his hold and cupped his cheeks, smiling at him. “I love you”. 

“Love you”, he repeated immediately, diving in for a kiss. When he pulled back, he held you tightly, pressing kisses on your cheeks. “You’re so good to me”.

“And you to me, baby”, you mumbled back, kissing him on the cheek before you tucked your head under his chin.

You both laid there for a moment, a moment of just your soft caresses on each other’s exposed skin. Until Chris heaved a satisfied sigh, pulling away from your embrace to stand up from the sofa.

“C’mon, pretty. Time to be pampered and cuddle in the tub”, Chris took you in his arms. A soft chuckle left your lips, and you held onto him, pressing tender kisses on his neck all the way to the bathroom.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

figured i’d tag anyone that wants to be tagged in my wereroomies instalments. if you don’t want to be tagged in little ask responses like these let me know !

@222wonnie · @staaa96 · @oiminho · @straylightdream · @starshine-moon · @biribarabiribbaem · @100layersofdaddyissues · @dearalice · @alexis-reads-fics · @xcookiemonsteer · @knowleeknow · @chanlovesme · @liminaldaydream · @sstarryreads · @svngiem · @notastraykid · @princelingperfect · @violetpenguinkris · @leedunno · @peepeepoopooharrie · @aestheticsluut · @skzhomiehopper · @cessixja · @mimzibee · @hipsdofangirl · @djeniryuu · @floatingcoffecup · @minnysproutgriffinteddy · @moonmooncr · @phobia0325 · @leebitsimpracha · @viviixlyy · @casualenthusiastexpert · @kileidoscope · @kpop-bbdoll · @crispytigerearthquake · @meloncremesoda · @amaranth-writing · @fawnpeaks · @dalamjisung

[killuagirly]

Hi <3 how about yandere freminet with fem reader who's always in a wheelchair, how would freminet try and court them especialy since there oblivious and don't believe anyone would like that way because of them being very week to the point they cant walk for long

Yandere Freminet x F!Reader

Summary: Freminet was obsessed with you, it couldn't get more obvious than that. But somehow, you still managed to remain oblivious to his methods of trying to grab your attention.

Notes: Apologies if I got this request wrong at all. Since I don't suffer from insecurities like this myself, it's a little harder to imagine to situation from the reader's perspective into detail!! D: [Also I really want to write actual yandere situations rather than just obsession, but then I also feel bad for the reader? Like how am I supposed to kill off most everyone you interact with and still comfort you??"

CW: Yandere, Obsessive tendencies, Insecurities, Reader is weak[in a wheelchair], Stalking, etc. Read at your own risk!

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Freminet

☆ You were just like any other average girl, except for the small inconvenience that you were bound to a wheelchair. Because of your situation, you begin to believe that it was near impossible for someone to be genuinely attracted to you. If only your oblivious mind had noticed Freminet's desperate attempts and romantic gestures to grab you interest.

☆ It got to the point where he began thinking outside of the box; instead of bringing you things from his diving travels and complimenting you constantly, he started to watch over you. He had a little notepad full of every little thing you liked. From your favorite color to your most worn pair of socks, he knew it all. He also knew you might get annoyed if he was following you around like a lost puppy all the time, so he took to observing in your footprint, always just out of your sightline.

☆ Still even with his best efforts, he just couldn't manage to get you to understand what he was trying to hint. You thanked him for all his gifts, compliments, and efforts to take notice of your interests; even though you didn't know the extents he was going to, but you just seemed to brush of any attempts of his obsessively obvious flirting.

☆ Maybe you didn't reciprocate his feelings for you, or maybe he was doing it all wrong. But in reality, you just couldn't come to terms with the fact someone may be romantically interested in you. From a glance, you believed nobody would even take joy in your company at all, not to mention that your dear friend Freminet could have much better opportunities and ways to spend his time.

☆ This time tough, he would make it different. Freminet's heart was racing, begging him not to go through with this. What if he ruined your friendship? At this point, he couldn't live without you but kidnapping you if he failed would be cruel. He had to force his overflowing thoughts to halt, and plead his feet to move toward you.

☆ "So [Name], I was wondering if we could talk for a bit. It's serious." The timid diver's voice shook as he spoke, he contemplated if this was just a mistake; too late to go back now though. "Yeah of course, anything you need?" You looked up at him from your accustomed seat in your wheelchair with a wondering gaze. With that, everything fell from his lips at once.

☆ "I've been trying really hard to get your attention. [Name] I really, really like you, actually, I love you. It's completely fine if you don't feel the same but I just.." The blonde went on and on about all the things he loved about you. Your physical attributes, your tastes, he managed to even bring up habits you didn't even know you possessed yourself. You sat there, stunned while he confessed his entire heart to you. Really, you felt the same. You just had a habit of forcing those thoughts down in fear that he wouldn't feel the same. In your view, who would anyway??

☆ Well, Freminet would. Once his endearing voice came to a slow stop with nervousness written all over his features, he looked at your starstruck face searching for an answer. "Freminet.. I...." how could you even respond to that? Do you tell him you feel the same way?? "If you don't feel the same we can still be friends..!!" He said, panicked that he made you uncomfortable. "Yes..?" You said not even really knowing id that made sense. "What....??"

☆ "I, uhmm.. Yes, I feel the same way about you." A look of shock followed by pure bliss came from the boy. He instantly bent over to wrap his arms around your fragile figure making note not to injure you, and planted a kiss on your cheek. "Thank you so much [Name].." He spoke just barely above a whisper. "I'll love you forever."

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Masterlist

[spookykoolkat]

the red j.m. | chapter four

CHAPTER FOUR: NO GOOD

series masterlist | main masterlist |

previous chapter | next chapter

pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader

chapter summary: you've been in jackson for a month now and things are still a little rough. you haven't found the right crowd to fit into yet, and thought maybe you might have to settle for the family of four you already know, until you meet your patrol partner, tyler. unfortunately, joel doesn't seem to like the idea of you with any other man but him.

warnings: 18+ age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, sexual language, teasing, touching, slight jealous!joel, x-rated descriptions, crude language, perv!joel, creepy!joel, mean joel not too mean tho, MDNI!!!

wc: 6.2k

na: HI! thank you for alllll of the love oh my god my little gothic heart is so full i love you guys!!! i hope this series is everything and more to you guys bc i love this so much! hopefully as chapters go by, i get better in my writing and hope everyone enjoys it! i appreciate all of your kind words and interactions with me and making me feel welcome since i am new to writing on tumblr and kind of took a six year break from writing oneshots/fanfictions LOL. anyways please enjoy this chapter things are g3tting a little hot and heavy :P I CANT WAITT i hope that my writing is cathartic for my big girls we do not get enough representation for us in stories and writings!please enjoy! smut coming soon fr fr LMFAOO

i appreciate all reblogs, likes and comments feel free to do any one of those things or ALL! if u think its deserved :P

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DECEMBER 21ST, 2024

YOU

you’ve been in jackson for a month now. you couldn’t believe it, you truly had every doubt about staying even a week. but, it’s probably the calmest life you’ve lived in a very long time. you enjoyed it and you truly felt you’d made the right decision, it didn’t take much convincing either. but, you still haven’t unpacked the items maria gave you and continues to give you. just in case. 

the neighbors are learning your name, as you are with them, and they actually care. as much as you let them. you felt quite bad because you found yourself still not clicking with anyone around you. and you’ve tried. the people your age find you boring, almost a dark cloud over them, bursting their bubbles. younger kids only approach you because of ellie, asking for advice on stance and grip. the older group, around tommy and joel’s age, finds you a bit much. 

your language, your lack of social awareness–sometimes it gets embarrassing. saying something old heads wouldn’t necessarily like, being too blunt and a little explicit. joel figured you should hang around your age group, yet you didn’t really click in with the rest. he was far from embarrassed being around you, you just said the things he was thinking out loud.

you only found yourself clicking with joel. in many ways, as much as he let you. he was standoffish most of the time, barely cracking a smile at your weird habits and the noises you make when you’re passed out on the couch. he refused to let you break him, this wall that he had up to survive. do not get attached. he thought, maybe the less he knew you the less it’d hurt to have anything happen to you. but it seems even as little as he does know you, he’s still feeling that tug at his heart laying his eyes on you. 

it was too late. whoops.

joel doesn’t want to address that feeling, and he doesn’t want to call it as it is. he actually cares about you. he had no choice but to call it that, because why else would he lie to you about finding cassettes in the house?— so that you didn’t know what he really did to get you whatever he could get his hands on. 

he didn’t want you to know that he actually smuggled in goods that he and his family needed, and while bribing, stealing, trading and selling for necessities, he made it a mission to find at least one cassette tape for you. he didn’t know you actually saw him red handed, and you still didn’t know where those boxes were coming from. he figured if you knew, you’d bring it up. 

he made it his mission for two whole weeks, after your first week of staying with him, and finally got his hands on some actual music for you. joel hadn’t made efforts like this in a long time, and he knew that denying the fact that he at least cared for you would mean he was being delusional. 

but he was always worried about you. you were his object of affection and he craved to find a way to get you out of his mind. he actually felt guilty for thinking about you in ways you’ve probably never been before, he felt guilty for wanting nothing but to make you feel good—however that was. 

you doubted it strongly of course, shaking the feeling off as your own delusion and insanity, but you always hoped. hoped that maybe his generosity and southern hospitality was actually him caring about you in a different way, but he was a grown man. you tried to off yourself in front of him–you were insane to think he’d even look at you as anything but a liability, he hardly looked your way as it was. 

at least you thought so.

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joel paid attention to every single thing he sees and hears. he doesn’t show it, he doesn’t acknowledge it—all he does is observe. some more than others. 

you didn’t talk to him unless he talked to you, you kept your distance like he wanted, but somehow he knew everything that was going on. he didn’t have to talk to you to know you, and that’s what he was ashamed of. he watched you. 

he was a creep, he felt like someone who was abnormal and making things weirder than they had to be. he was studying you and you didn’t even know. he picked up on what made you smile, which cassettes you listened to the most, which just so happened to be the ones he was ‘holding on to.’ and in the midst of observing you, he checked you out any time he got. 

when you weren’t looking mostly, but even sometimes when you were talking to him about something not so important. he realized that if you did see that his eyes wandered over you, you were probably gaslighting yourself into thinking he wasn’t doing exactly what you thought he was doing. he loved your body. and he loved the way you dressed your body, the way the shirts you wore always clung to your heavy breasts, how even when you dressed in baggy clothes he still wanted to ruin you like that. 

sick. you’re a sick old pervert, ya kno’ that? he knew. what joel didn’t know is why you made him feel this way, why you drove him to do the things that he does for you. why he acted feral every time you bent over, why he would storm out of the room when you got on your hands and knees to pick something you dropped up off the floor. 

but he also studied you because he wanted to make sure you weren’t feeling how you felt the night you woke up in jackson, to make sure you weren’t feeling depressed or like you didn’t want to be here anymore. just talk to her fucker. he couldn’t. he would never admit it, but he’s eavesdropped near ellie’s garage to hear conversations between the two girls. 

“ellie, i mean it, you cannot tell joel.” you hushed as you glanced towards the door, back to ellie. 

she scoffed. “like i’d tell him, lay it on me.” you noticed the irritation in her eyes when you brought up joel, asking yourself if maybe there was something that wasn’t being said. you just put a pin in it. 

“okay. one, i’m finally allowed a gun and i got my patrol route.” you cheered in a hush and joel almost pressed his ear into the door. 

ellie rolled her eyes, grabbing the piece of paper. “no fucking fair. good looks, telling me bad news first. what’s two?” she joked. 

“i met my patrol partner. his name’s uh, tyler? i think. yeah,” you looked down and nodded, assuring yourself. joel made it a note to tell ellie how thin her walls were, not right now though. 

“tyler… tyler m?” joel thought of every man in this town named tyler with the letter M as his last name. instantly made a mental list of five tylers. 

“i don’t know. but he asked me for a drink. tonight, he was gonna meet me here but i told him i’d meet him there. lesson number 5, always have a way to leave anywhere you are if you need to.” you said. you figured it’d be best to teach her as much as you could, telling her things she needed to hear to survive. 

that’s how joel knew immediately what was happening when he heard your soft singing from your cracked door. you were getting ready for him. he actually hated it. he couldn’t remember the last time he felt that heat in his chest, biting the tongue—it wasn’t until his face turned down into the old familiar feeling, what he recognized as jealousy. 

who was he to be jealous? for what? it was a saturday night, most people were off of work, and everyone was settling in the town’s circle to drink and watch movies. everyone but joel. he was now classified as a bitter old man, with a dark whiskey in his glass. maybe now a bitter, creepy old man as he knocks slightly on the cracked door and you invite him in. 

you were fixing the laces on your shoes, simple black converse, and his eyes made his way up from there to your face. a deep v neck shirt that looked like a second skin from how tight it was, and faded black jeans with tiny holes from being lived in that hugged the fat of your thighs. he never noticed the gold dainty necklace that sat in the middle of your chest, but it sits right between the curves of your breasts. were they always that big? he felt like a kid, ogling and asking stupid questions.  

“hellooo? joel?” you called to him as you rested your palms on the width of your thighs. he saw your lips, coated in a sheen and your hair split down the middle instead of being in a pony tail or bun. creepy old man. you’re being creepy joel!!! he shook his head. 

“headin’ to the circle?” he asked. if he were close enough you could smell the whiskey on his breath. 

“yeah i-,” you thought for a minute. joel didn’t trust the next person as much as you did. you saw his protectiveness through ellie, you felt maybe he’d feel the same for you. even if you were a bit delusional. 

“-was gonna catch a movie with ellie, most likely be back around 12.” you said as you glanced at the clock, 9:32. 

“‘s that right?” he said suggestively, like he knew something you didn’t. he did. 

“yeah. that’s right,” you stood firm, even shot him a dirty look. “why don’t you enjoy the night, joel. you got the house to yourself, ain’t that what you’ve been mopin’ around for?” you stood up and grabbed your gun to put in your waistband behind your shirt, sticking a knife in your high top converse and one in your jean pocket. 

maybe you got too defensive, but you were right in a way. he looked miserable around the house, storming in just to grab a beer and lock himself in the library or room. 

“that’s right,” he was just smug. so smug you couldn’t stand it, you wanted to slap him. 

“whatever joel,” you wanted to be right so bad. you wanted to prove to even yourself that you were right. but neither of you were buying into this act you played, and you knew it. he was making you nervous with his stare, the hard shell you had was practically ripped off of you when he grabbed your wrist before you left the room. he held you, shoulder to shoulder and looked at your face, down your neck and to your chest. 

“if you need anythin’, you let me know darlin’.” darlin’? it was so foreign to you, so alien that you didn’t even have time to process it before your mouth moved to say a small alright and taking your arm from his grip. when you did, it was cold and you could feel the print of his hand around your wrist down the stairs. 

it was so different, something that leaked off of his words when he spoke to you. and you wanted to hear more of it, explore that with him. 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

before you could psych yourself out of going through the bar’s doors, you heard someone call for your name and turned your head to the left to see tyler, walking towards you with a big grin on his face. tyler was just two years older than you, someone you met while you were in combat and patrol classes, and didn’t acknowledge until he approached you, re-introducing himself as your partner for the first two weeks. you couldn’t be cold and shoo him away, you just smiled and introduced yourself, really looking at him. 

he was not joel miller. tyler’s skin wasn’t as tan as joel’s but he wasn’t pale, and he was actually a bit lanky even under the thick coats he layered. you noticed that his chest wasn’t as broad and strong as joel’s, hell his arms were smaller than yours. he was a skinny tall thing, while you were a bit short and thick everywhere. and when he embraced you lightly at the entrance of the bar, you just felt cold. no warmth, no comfort, you felt like you’d break him. 

“hey, i was hoping you’d actually come.” he breathed in as he pulled away, still, it wasn’t feeling right. 

“why wouldn’t i?” 

“cause you’re out of my league,” he said with a seductive smile and you wanted to believe him. wanted to enjoy the night as it comes and maybe have a few drinks, talk. but your mind was on a bitter man who sat in a house all by his lonesome. 

the thing about ‘dates’ now is that small talk doesn’t happen anymore. what’s your mom like? she’s dead actually. really? mine too! it was pointless. if you ended up here, you knew that you were alone. 

it wasn’t long before you and tyler were sitting on two stools, side by side. your knees were in between his as the two of you talked, flirted, gave simple touches. you were having fun. doing what would seem normal at a bar, just enjoying the company of someone who actually liked you. 

“how come you’ve never hung out with anyone else? i never see you with anyone.” he said, his fingers tapping on your knee. 

“mmm, i’m just not for everyone.” you flirted, covering his fingers with yours. you knew this wasn’t going anywhere, but you’d like to live in it just a little longer. the touch of a man, someone who desired you even if it wasn’t how you wanted. something you started to crave from joel. 

“maybe you’re just for me then?” he suggested, and you decided to just play into it. it was kind of hard not to when you were thinking of joel, you needed to act out on it. 

“i doubt that, honey,” you said, tugging at the collar of his shirt. he smelled like tequila and grass, something not that appealing but you ignore it. you wanted something out of him tonight, because for some reason the words joel spoke to you kept ringing in your ears. if you need anything, you let me know darlin’. the words rumbled through your body and straight to your core, because if there’s anything you need he could definitely be of help. 

you didn’t know how long you stayed at this bar, teasing and touching each other until you felt the ache in your core, aching for a touch that you’ve had once before. but you didn’t give a shit about purity or virginity, you wanted the ache gone and you knew tyler was the best bet. 

“tyler,” you whispered in his ear as the bar started to empty. 

“yes, beautiful?” he answered and slid his hand up your thigh. 

“show me how good you are with your fingers, yeah?” 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

he followed you back to joel’s, hand in hand as you turned the key to the house and softly opened the door to prevent the creaking. granted, you didn’t think this through, like everything else. maybe you should’ve gone to his. you cringed a bit, walking inside. 

it was dark inside, nothing but the sizzle of a freshly put out fire. you put your fingers to your lips to shush him, taking him slowly upstairs and to your room. you couldn’t help but find yourself glancing at joel’s door, which is cracked open. 

you finally made it to your room with the lanky man groping your body and trying to slither you out of your jeans, letting him. 

“only want your fingers, okay? if not you can leave.” you established as you stood in your panties and tight shirt. 

“fuck, yeah that’s okay,” tyler himself was craving a woman’s touch, he didn’t even care if he got off. he just wanted to see you, a woman’s body, to feel you. 

“can i touch you? like anywhere?” he asked as he sat on the edge of your bed, his cock already hardened against his pants. it didn’t sound right coming from him. you wondered what it’d sound like with the texas twang you craved to hear from a certain man. 

it still made your core twinge a bit, remembering the last time you were this vulnerable. you couldn’t lie, even if it wasn’t what you wanted, you fell in to the odd touch of the man desperately trying to touch you. 

“anywhere. keep your dick in your pants, i’ll touch as i go if you want me to.” you moved over to him and crawled into your bed, and he slipped in next to you as he propped himself on his elbow to look at you. 

“you’re so pretty, really.” he said, genuinely and you smiled. your stomach even fluttered a bit. it’s been a long time hearing that, hearing desire. 

“touch me, please.” 

tyler took his time, a little more than you’d liked but he was busy distracted with the way your tits pushed up to your chin, like you were suffocating. touching and teasing, his touch felt good but it still didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel heartstopping. maybe you’re expecting too much. 

but he didn’t talk to you when he dipped his hand in your panties, you just heard his whimpers and panting as he rutted his hard on into the side of your fat thigh, barely focused on you. you weren’t feeling it anymore, your wetness wasn’t even directed towards him really. everything you did with him was what you wanted to do with joel. you weren’t interested anymore and it started to feel wrong, it never felt good because tyler wasn’t worried about you. just his nut, and you didn’t like that. you didn’t like to feel used. 

“okay, wait, wait—i said wait!” you said and grabbed his wrist, pulling it from your panties and moving off of the bed. 

“wait, fuck i’m sorry, i was just so, fuck i’m so sorry.” he said a bit loudly, and you swore you heard a creak in the hallway as you moved to the door. 

“it’s okay, i just, i’m not–i’m tired. i think you should go.” you said, hugging your arm as he adjusted himself in his pants and got up. 

“i’m sorry, i,-” he tried again and you waved him off. 

“it’s done and forgotten, you didn’t do anything you were just really into it. i wasn’t.” you were careful with your words, not as tough as you would be because you’re vulnerable. but he wouldn’t get far if he hurt you, you knew that. 

“i’m sorry, goodnight. can we kind of like, forget this?” he asked rubbing the back of his neck and you softly laughed. 

“forget what?” you smiled and he returned it, giving a small kiss on the cheek before he left. he was a nice man, a good kid, and he meant no harm. he didn’t need a ruthless beating or yelling, just needed to tell him it wasn’t meant to be. you couldn’t shake the feeling of how wrong it was, how wrong it felt being tyler touching you. 

you knew who you wanted to touch you. as sweet and kind and charming tyler was, he wasn’t what you wanted. the man you wanted was across the hall from you, on the other side of the stairs. sleeping, maybe. 

you knew ellie was at a friends house doing only god knows what, so with the hope in mind that joel was asleep in his room, you trotted downstairs braless, and bottomless. you were still in the same tight shirt you left in, but now just in the pink panties that were apart of the gifts maria got you. just new/traded clothing you needed. the shirt hugged you and cut off at the dip of your curve, the fat of your tummy slightly protruding between the shirt and your panties. 

you didn’t look towards the fireplace where the sofas were, instead you grab a small cup and let faucet water pour into it, taking a drink. 

“work up a sweat?” a deep southern voice said behind you, from a distance. you jumped at the sudden break of silence and turned quickly to the sofas. 

“joel? what the fuck,” you breathed and stepped out to walk to the sofas. somehow, you completely disregarded the fact that all you had on was a shirt and panties, standing in joel miller’s living room. 

“what made you think it was a bright idea to invite a bastard in my home like that? not only that,” he said. you finally saw the light from outside shining on his face as he stood up, something glimmering in his hand. a gun. “but letting him touch all over you? that prick?” 

you had a lot to say, a lot to yell out. but the only thing to say was a snarky comment. “you know he called you the same thing.” 

which, he did. but you were too drunk on the flirting and drinks to care or to know why, even though you already knew. joel wasn’t nice to anyone but ellie. tommy and maria even think he’s an asshole, but that’s tommy’s brother and maria’s brother in law. he’s family. but there were things that you didn’t know about joel miller. things he didn’t want you to know either. 

“why do you even care? who’s touching me, i mean.” you scoff, feeling less embarrassed about your state of clothing. but being a lot more aware as he steps closer and closer to your curvy figure, putting his gun in the waistband of his sweatpants. 

he was intimidating like this. towering over you with his fists clenched, searching your face for something. you felt your heartbeat pick up as his eyes raked over you and fell on your lips. he was drunk off of you, the sight of your fat cunt only being clothed by a single piece of fabric drove him to dig his nails in his palms. the nakedness of your thighs, and the midriff showing—it was going to kill him.

“if you’re gonna fuck these town folk, make sure it ain’t in my house.” he spit, and you just rolled your eyes. you felt like you were in trouble for sneaking out, like a teenager. 

“i didn’t fuck anyone. we didn’t do anything. he wanted to, i didn’t.” you defended, feeling small now but still holding yourself tall.

joel just looked at you, not wondering if you were lying or not. he knew you weren’t, he heard it himself the minute he heard something bang against your wall. it was just you shuffling to get up, and he heard you consoling him. you weren’t satisfied. 

“why’d you lie to me? bout’ seein’ him tonight?” he asked, your head tilted up to his as he steps one step closer. your chest is almost touch his, and your breathing was getting heavier. 

“figured you wouldn’t trust him,” you said, sounding like you wanted to say something else but keeping it to yourself. 

he was watching you like you were his prey. like you were something he wanted to take and devour for himself, like you were something for his eyes only. 

“smart girl,” 

“he touch you wrong?” he couldn’t help but ask, the curiosity killing him slowly as time passes with you standing in front of him with your tight pink panties on. he looked down between the two of you and saw the hardened pebbles that were your nipples showing up through your black tight shirt, down to your tummy that was pressed against his. he liked the softness of your belly, he was practically dying to grip it himself. he wanted to grip every part of you, to palm your pussy and feel how warm you were in his grip. he even found himself hating his own mind as thought of what your pussy would look like sucking him in. 

“i, he,” you were stuttering, embarrassing yourself as his hand trailed up your arm, thinking of all the ways he could watch you take his cock for him. 

you watched him watch you. how his eyes went dark again, how there was a slight touch of possessiveness in his voice. you didn’t assume though.

“can’t find the words, hm? he wasn’t makin’ you feel good?” he asked softly, watching as you closed your eyes and breathed through your mouth, opening again to see a small grin playing on his lips, his head tilted to the side. his fingers barely left your wrist, and made their way to your fleshy hip, tapping against the bare skin. he was enjoying this. making you squirm. making you nervous. 

“fuck off, joel,” you meant it to come out a lot stronger than it did, even you thought you sounded needy. “s’ none of your damn business,” you spit, stronger this time.

and before you could even wallow in your retorts, a smile tugged very faintly at his lips. you weren’t so convincing when you were practically trying to pull him to your body with your fists buried in his sweater. he appreciated the effort though, he's never met someone with as much bite in their bark as you.

he just liked to watch you writhe for him. you wanted to whine with how eager you were for him, how mean he was being to you for no reason. you needed him.

“it’s like you’re not even tryin’, what’s the matter? do i make you nervous sweetheart?” he gleamed in his power over you, the way your eyes searched for him and your mouth parted, just for him. he wanted to ruin you in every way. ruin every man for you, show you how to truly be taken care of.

"go fuck yourself," you retorted and he actually laughed. and he laughed at you. a sudden heat rushed to your cheeks, embarrassment filling you.

“i didn’t tell you but,” he paused as he leaned into your ear, grazing his cheek against yours and smiling to himself, “you looked real pretty today, ya know that? you look even prettier like this, all flustered for me.” 

you had to be dreaming. had to have gone to sleep after tyler left, and this was your wet dream making up for it. there was no way you were this exposed to joel and he was practically pressed up against your body as he told you how pretty you looked. you couldn’t speak, your tongue was tied and joel smiled to himself as he realized he got you to shut up.

“would ya let me touch you, sweet girl? maybe you'd be nicer if someone knew how to touch you,” he asked, his fingers playing on your hip. 

you still couldn’t answer. it felt like a trap, like if you let yourself give in to his words, every guard you put up was pointless. you were frozen, and suddenly felt insanely vulnerable but his voice was so inviting, so impossible to not fall into.

“touch me where?” you asked, treading lightly. you wanted to hear it, you wanted him to tell you he wanted you as bad as you wanted him. you wanted to prove to yourself that you hadn't lost your mind yet. but you also wanted to stretch whatever this was as long as possible before you find yourself on your knees for him without even asking.

joel felt like he was out of his body. like he was watching you squirm and move under his presence from above. he was so distracted by how hard your nipples were rubbing against him that he didn’t even notice your fists balled into his shirt, trying to take him in closer. maybe it was the alcohol he drank to ignore the jealousy he felt, or maybe it was the fact that tommy came to tell joel about the boy you were seeing. how the two of you were practically on top of each other before he left, how he was touching you in public–he was angry. 

nothing was done, nothing more than joel grabbing your almost bare hip and you tugging on his shirt, but it still felt like something that was crossing a line. a line you wanted to cross.

until he got the courage to grab the hand that was buried in his sweater, taking it in his own and touching you with your hand. he was answering your question. his hand ghosted on top of yours as his eyes watched your eyes train on the sight between the two of the bodies, enjoying how soft and pink you look. you were hot and bothered, and he could get used to seeing you like this. 

“first place i’d touch you, baby,” he breathes, his lips practically against your cheek now. he was breathing you in, drinking you in, “is right here,” 

his hand guided you to cup your mound, angry that it wasn’t his hand touching you. your breath was shaky while you watched him, your eyes flickering from his moving hand to his eyes, and every time he made sure your eyes latched onto his. he wanted you to know how much he was enjoying teasing you like this, he wanted you to remember the way he looked at you while you panted against him. 

“but like this, lemme show you ‘xactly how i’d touch you sweetheart,” he was lost, drunken only on you, ignoring the world around him. “don’t think that boy would be enough for a woman like you, ain’t that right?"

he took his own hand as you were still pressed against his front, his lips now teasing the skin of the crook of your neck and starting to pull your panties away from your skin to dip his hand inside. your breathing was uneven and your soft whimpers were getting louder the more he trailed down into your underwear, and he was loving them.

the second he felt the scruff of your unshaved mound, he heard you release a shaky, sexy breath, and he grew harder against your bare abdomen. even feeling the heat of your skin on his clothed cock made him want to get on his knees and worship you.

"needy little fuckin' thing, that desperate for me huh? you gonna let me feel this pretty pussy how i want?"

he was so fucking filthy. so filthy for someone who hasn't even seen you naked, so filthy for someone who didn't even talk to you before this. it was agonizing, you were melting into his harsh words and wanted to listen to him make you feel small like this all night.

"joel, i swear," you warned as his breath hit your lips with his eyes on yours.

you had a bush, he thought to himself. he really didn’t think that would turn him on of course,  but now he pictured you standing in front of him, bottomless. how your belly would look with your curves, the way your breasts would rest at their natural position, your thighs fat and wide all for him, and the pretty fat mound waiting for him to feel and taste. worst time to think all of that of course, because it sent a flood of blood and excitement to his groin, giving him another thing to be nervous about. but god did he want to see it, see all of you laid in his bed, and tugging on the thatch of hair on your mound. he was fucked.

and god forbid you figured out that he’s been picturing you bent and folded in every way just so he could reach to the back of your cervix, if you figured out that his anger towards you is pent up sexual frustration because every time you’re in the shower, he’s thinking of the way you looked lathered in soap, waiting for him to join you. he was a sick man to think of you like this, but all of his desires and fantasies were threatening to barge in, to unleash all of his wants and needs to you. 

he was fighting himself to be a respectable man, a man who doesn’t think of women who were young enough to be his own kid in ways that were sinful. he shouldn’t be wanting to fill your throat with his cock when you smart mouth him. he was losing whoever he thought was himself, and letting heart and cock do his thinking. 

you couldn't think right, nothing was processing as you felt the heat of his hand on your cunt. you felt another wave of pleasure hit you and suddenly, you could feel your wetness pooling for him in your panties. you had a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that joel actually wanted you too, even if he wanted to put you in your place for once and shut you up.

you didn't care how he wanted you. you were a bitch, but you were desperate for him.

"mmm, you're real scary, baby, threats ain't gettin' you anywhere. you have t' beg me for my fingers," he teased, rubbing the hair on your mound.

"oh fuck off, i'm not begging you for shit," you're putting up a fight with yourself, and you were winning. at leadt you thought so. even if you were letting him touch you this way, you weren't goping to beg him or give him the pleasure of watching you submit to him.

"yeah? maybe i'll jus' make ya," he grinned, his sinister smile forming while he rested his forehead on yours, his hand inside your panties as the two of you watched him tease your lips.

the second joel’s finger moves from your hairy mound to the fat lips of your cunt to spread and feel just how much you ached for him, to tease your hole so you'd be sent into a fit of desperation, the two of you heard the doorknob jiggle and a loud laugh from the outside, meaning it was ellie. joel pulled his hand and body away quickly and nodded upstairs with a hard look, giving you the hint to go before ellie saw you in your panties. 

your face expressed everything to him, you needed him. and you didn’t want to let go. he watched as you walked up the stairs, your ass practically eating up the fabric of your panties. it left nothing to the imagination and he groaned, something you swore you heard, before he fixed himself in his pants. 

ellie walked in, and you stayed at the top of the stairs out of sight to hear the lecturing. 

“are you outta your damn mind, ellie? it’s three in the mornin’,” his paternal instincts were coming out, and you smiled. 

“i was down the street. relax, i just didn’t want to stay there.” ellie defended as she slipped her shoes off. 

“did somethin’ happen? are you hurt?” he asked quickly, examining ellie to see if he saw blood or cuts anywhere. 

“jeez, no joel lay off. why are you up anyways isn’t it like six hours past your bedtime?” she scoffed, annoyed at the father figure lecturing her right now. what was he gonna tell her? 

“was waitin for your friend to come home, so i can lock up before bed,” he lied. he was lying and you knew it. you came home an hour ago, and he was still up. 

“you’re in love aren’t ya? old man,” ellie teased. her demeanor was a little more playful than she’d been this last month and he shook his head annoyed, but to you it was silent. your lips pinched into a thin line as you heard joel grunt.

“go to be ellie. now.” he ordered and she rolled her eyes, saying her good nights and going to the garage to sleep in her space. 

a part of you wanted joel to come upstairs, into your room and to do everything he wanted to do. you didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do, but with the touching and flirting he was doing, it seemed like he wanted you. maybe he was drunk, you could smell it on his breath! he seemed pretty sober talking to ellie. you cursed yourself as you moved quietly to your room, leaving the door cracked open just in case. 

but nothing. you heard him trudge up the stairs, and walk directly the opposite direction into his own room. you were frustrated at this point. sexually frustrated if you must say, and the ache in your core was not leaving any time soon. 

you felt embarrassed, and you felt like joel was toying with you. all of the sudden this comes up and he's trying to finger fuck you in the living room when you genuinely thought he didn't even acknowledge your mere existence. it was so confusing for you, but the only thing you knew for sure now after a few weeks of deciding is that you craved joel miller.

it was a weird feeling. only because growing up in an apocalyptic world as a teenager and a young adult meant your chances of love and relationships were slim to none, at least for you. but you met joel in times where you had given up already.

as you lied in bed, wondering if joel was asleep or thinking about you too, you felt silly. you were setting yourself up for disaster by having hope that whatever this was with joel was more than that, and not just that. you worried you were getting ahead of yourself, maybe you were taking joel's advances too seriously. what if he just wants an easy fuck? nothing serious, something for pleasure in this dark world where everyone seeks a way to alleviate their pain

you felt like maybe you were geting into your head like you always do. maybe this could be good. maybe this could be your chance to let go, be vulnreable again, let someone make you feel like a teenager again. you had your fair share of crushes when you were in the QZ, you remembered that innocent feeling of liking someone, the shyness that came with it, how nervous you got around them. and with joel, you felt that times one hundred.

the flutters in your stomach, the goosebumps on your skin when he stands too close to you. he made you feel good even without trying.

but nothing good comes from joel miller.

[imagineanime2022]

Demon Brothers W/ An S/O W/ CIPA

Lucifer X Reader, Mammon X Reader, Leviathan X Reader, Satan X Reader, Asmodeus X Reader, Beelzebub X Reader, Belphagor X Reader.

Requested: Anon

Requested: Anon

Request: Haiii:3

I have been reading your posts for some while and i really like how you write!!!

But anyway straight to the point, could you write the obey me brothers with a S/O who has CIPA?

if you dont know what that is its basically where a person cant feel pain, feel heat or cold, and cant sweat.

You can ignore this if you want, take your time. &lt;3

Lucifer = Blue

Mammon = Italic (would not let me do yellow)

Levi = Orange

Satan = Green

Asmo = Pink

Beel = Red

Belphie = Purple

You = Bold

A/N: I had vaguely heard of this before this request and did some research into some of the other things that yo can suffer along side it, let me know if theirs anything that you would like me to change or isn't quite true.

Warnings: Talks of pain, broken bones, bruises, CIPA from the view of someone who has not seen or dealt with it.

Lucifer

📚 No word of a lie this man knew that there was something different about you the moment that you appeared in devildom but he couldn’t tell what it was just by looking at you. 📚 The first thing he picked up on was your choice in clothing. Why are you wearing a jumper in the midst of summer? It looks nice. Are you not hot? I don’t really feel hot. 📚 The second was you play fighting with Beel, even he has the oldest and most powerful of the brother found it hard to keep up with Beel but you a human seemed to be bouncing back from what seemed to be a good deal of Beel’s natural strength, you were covered in bruises when you came down the next morning but you weren’t at all concerned by them. 📚 The third and final one was when you were in the kitchen you had been talking to him and he watched as you put your hand down on the still hot stove that you had been using moments before but you didn’t tear your hand away instead continued talking. 📚 Lucifer had never shot forward so fast demanding to know what was wrong with you while he treated the first degree burn. 📚 Lucifer did some research and then set a schedule to make sure that you stayed healthy, you weren’t allowed anywhere on your own and when you did sustain an injury self assessment was not allowed, he’d be taking you to a professional if he couldn’t tell himself. 📚 He gave his brothers strict instructions on what they needed to be vigilant of when you were out with them and even sent the same instructions to purgatory hall and the castle (not that Solomon or Barbatos needed them, they definitely figured this out within weeks of meeting you). 📚 Lucifer will literally come out of nowhere with some kind of temperature device to make sure that you weren’t too hot or too cold, let’s hope that you never faint because you're too hot. 📚 I think he’d honestly be the most worried, he’s always thinking about you and wondering if you're okay, checking his phone constantly to make sure that you hadn’t hurt yourself somehow. 📚 You're in more danger here than you’ve ever been, you need someone looking out for you.

Mammon

💳 Mammon had no clue. 💳 Literally nothing different about you, versus any other human that he’s seen (not that he’s really seen any, let alone interacted with them). 💳 At first he just thought that you were super durable and that instantly had his mind running, he could make money off of the videos that he filmed of you. Yeah for a while you were the get rich quick scheme. 💳 Until one night that you stood up to Lucifer to protect him and Beel and actually got hurt, you had fallen awkwardly, everyone winced and somehow you stood completely normal. 💳 Unfortunately it doesn’t matter how much he sees you're probably going to have to tell him what is going on with you. 💳 Once he understands what’s going on with you he’s a lot more considerate. He always has an extra jumper if you don’t bring one or will offer to carry yours if he feels like you might be getting too hot. 💳 The occasional hyperactivity that comes with CIPA is welcomed with Mammon, he’s up for having pillow fights and running around the house, he’s made a child proof room for you both to play around in when you need it. 💳 He’s not as hands on as Lucifer is but he doesn’t actually leave you alone with anyone who isn’t his brothers, does not trust another soul with your health. 💳 I’m your protector remember? I’ll protect you from everything even if it is yourself.

Leviathan

🎮 It took Levi a little while to figure it out considering he spent most of his time in his bedroom away from everyone else. 🎮 However the more time that you spent together the more that he realised that you didn’t seem to feel pain. 🎮 He watched as you stubbed your toe, smacked your hand on the bathtub or walked into the sofa but the real teller was when you bit your lip until it bleed one day. 🎮 Stop that. What? Your lips are bleeding, doesn’t that hurt? Not really, I don’t really feel pain. What? 🎮 Levi started to watch you more carefully, when he saw you chewing at your lip, he’ll hand you something else to chew food or chewing gum or something, even had a fidget toy in case you start pulling at the skin on your fingers or around your nails. 🎮 His scales make him the perfect cuddle buddy when you get too warm. I think he runs a little cooler than most other demons so it helped to cool you down when you were running a bit hot. 🎮 Would literally have you wear a watch that tracks your body with the app connected to his and your DDD so that he could make sure that you were okay. 🎮 Since he does his lessons at home, you will get random text messages like: You're getting too hot, take that jumper off or why’s your heart rate up? What are you doing? 🎮 Someone has to make sure that you die, you Normie.

Satan

🐈 Satan absolutely knew that there was something different about you and it took him less than 24 hrs to guess what it was. 🐈 Satan has a lot of knowledge, including knowledge on humans, he reads a lot and that meant that he had read about a lot of different ailments that humans could have so had read about CIPA but he didn’t think that he’d ever meet a human that had the ailments. 🐈 He then proceeds to find out everything that he doesn’t know about it so that when something happens he knows what to do. 🐈 Honestly he’s usually not around when something happens to you, you’ll probably walk into his bedroom after the fact and he would see that you were injured. 🐈 What happened? What? Your arm is bruised. What happened? Oh… I don’t know. Can you please be more careful? 🐈 Will not treat you like a child, you have been dealing with this all your life, you don’t need someone babying you. He is well aware of your limits though and will check on you if he thinks it’s necessary. 🐈 He’s always checking in with you but it’ll be more subtle then the others, he’ll press a kiss to your forehead to gauge your temperature or offer you cold or hot drinks to try and make sure that you stay at an optimum temperature. 🐈 You are the only person that he worries about when it comes to his cats, they are usually fine but he knows that they could do damage when they are playing with you, so he watches carefully and makes sure that you only use the cat's toys that he has bought for you to use. 🐈 Literally hates it when you have a knife and fork, he watches you like a hawk and if there’s even a single sign of danger, he’ll cut the food himself, he would have you cutting off your own limbs for dinner. 🐈 Stop. Stop that. Stop, I’ll do it.

Asmodeus

💅 Asmodeus kinda knew but he never said anything, just treated you the same as he would anyone else. 💅 It would be an accident when he finds out that you even have an issue, he was complaining about sweat one day and you dropped the bomb. 💅I wish I just didn’t sweat. No you don’t. I know that it’s fundamental or whatever Satan said but- No you don’t wish that because then you start fainting because of overheating and have the threat of a seizure every time you have a fever. What? 💅 You literally made his brain stop working because it took him a full minute to realise that you were talking from experience. Has you explain everything to him. Literally everything, he needs to understand. 💅 Now we all know that Asmo isn’t going to be able to protect you from everything so instead, he looks after your body for you, spa night where he does a full inventory, he notes any marks, bruises or wounds on your body and makes sure that they are healing properly. 💅 He hates seeing you hurt so he has like safety gloves that he just makes you wear, he wanted a full bubble to make sure that nothing apart from him touched you ever again. 💅 Would ask the others for help keeping you safe, literally bribing the family (not that he needed to, they all wanted you safe after all) and they are going to take everything that he offered. 💅 Asmo is literally the parent that follows you around with plasters, bandages and cold compress packs for any eventuality. 💅 Oh my god are you okay!? Here, what do you need? We’ll need a long spa day after this.

Beelzebub

🍔 Beel treated you like you were a delicate flower anyway, there was nothing that was gentle enough for you and he had to make sure that everything you did was tested first. 🍔 You will have to tell him what is going on with you because let’s be honest he does a very good job of keeping you out of trouble but that means that when something bad happens it’s really bad. 🍔 I think it’s broken. Yeah probably. Doesn’t that hurt. It’s supposed to. But it doesn’t. Not for me. 🍔 It’s up to you to explain the good and bad points of your ailment because even if he did read about it he’s not going to understand it at all. 🍔 Now all I can think of with this man is that he just holds you above all danger, like you’ll be on his shoulders or he’ll hoist you over his shoulder when he feels like you’ll get hurt. 🍔 Beel will avoid situations that he think will cause you any harm, he’s not always going to notice the signs that something is wrong so he tries to just keep you away from it instead. 🍔 Always has a drink, fan or coat if he thinks that you need it. You’ll honestly wonder where he pulls it out from, it doesn't matter he’ll always have it. 🍔 Keeps you away from his very rowdy Fangol team, they’ll have you seriously injured in less than a few seconds, he eventually told them how delicate you were and the best of the team looked out for you like you were their own, even had you on the bench sometimes to keep you out of the crowd. 🍔 Will let you sit on him not matter what he’s doing, laying on the couch eating, he’ll have you sit on his chest. Working out, you can be the counterweight (you might actually need to hold a weight to make it a challenge though). 🍔 I’m not really good at learning about stuff, but I can keep you safe. I promise

Belphegor

💤 Belphie is probably the one who finds out the earliest in your relationship and that’s because of everything he tried to do to you before you got him back to the rest of the family. 💤 You could see that he struggling with it and when he apologised you literally waved him off. 💤 Don’t worry I can’t feel anything anyway. Huh? I couldn’t feel anything that you did before, if that helps… You know it didn’t hurt. Now I’m guilty and confused. 💤 You explained properly what you were talking about and surprisingly enough he did understand a great deal about it. 💤 When you were alone together he would find himself asking if you ever wished to change your ailment and how it actually felt to have it. 💤 He’s probably the only one besides Beel to ask you what you wanted him to do and how he could help, he’s lazy and he doesn’t often find himself in many harmful situations so he doesn’t have to worry about that. It’s more about regulating your body and making sure that you are keeping yourself healthy. 💤 He kept snacks and other things around so that if you needed something it was to hand, you still hurt yourself sometimes when reaching for something or walking to the bathroom but nothing too serious with him. 💤 Orders Beel to keep you safe and return you back to him at the end of each school day because he knows at some point he’s going to sneak off to find somewhere to sleep and you might not always want to do that. 💤 Belphie learns you tells for when something is wrong and can figure most things out based on your answers, steals things from his brothers if he needs to make sure that you are comfortable, and also wraps his tail around you to stop you from rolling out of bed. 💤 Don’t worry you can spend the rest of your life in bed with me, nothing can hurt you here.

Request Here!!

[heartsfourdazai]

Could you write an Akutagawa x ADA reader where the other characters react to them being together, like Gin's reaction, Fukuzawa's reaction (also, you're a good writer :)

ADA/PM members react to you dating akutagawa

all(ish) ada/pm members

warnings: lowercase writing, mori warning!! :( unedited writing!

a/n: this may be the only time i write for mori...tysm for the compliment as well<3 I CANT FIT MORE THEN 10 GIFS SO I'LL MAKE A PART TWO WITH THE REST OF THE PM AND MORENOF THE ADA IF I MISSED ANYONE!!

ADA :

FUKUZAWA YUKUCHI

he's always found you mysterious and in some kind of trouble that you get yourself into, on purpose or not.

so finding out for himself besides you telling him that your dating one of the enemy's exectutives?

he watches you like a hawk.

he won't get all up in your buisness about your love life.

he still cares for your well being, and just doesn't want you getting hurt.

the moment he finds out that your hurt, and that this relationship your in is hurting you either mentally or physically, he's going all dad-mode.

other then that, he just keeps an eye on you, as he does with all his 'children' and tries to keep you from getting hurt.

but this is akutagawa we're talking about...

what could go wrong?

RANPO EDOGAWA

he already knew.

even if you said anything to anyone, or not.

he knew the moment you liked him.

he would side eye you each time he would see you.

he doesn't hate you..

he just wants you to be careful.

dating one of the port mafia's important men isn't the best relationship to have.

he's rarely had interactions with akutagawa, but he knows he's a bad dog.

just hearing atsushi deal with him is enough for him to know he's not the best.

but he doesn't say anything.

it's your dating life.

but he has a feeling this isn't going to last then you think it may.

DAZAI OSAMU

oh boy.

awkward cough.

well- what do you know.

looks like he was right.

although you told him, he simply stated; "i know." and nothing after that.

he doesn't have a reaction- he just stays the same.

nothing changes with your and his friendship...he doesn't even ask about him.

you knew about his and akutagawa's past- and you've never mentioned that either.

it's in the deep dark ends of hell, but you comfort akutagawa whenever he gets those nasty flashbacks.

KUNIKIDA DOPPO

oh dear.

HOW?!

ACTUALLY HOW?

WHEN WAS THIS??

okay

so

questions.

many of them.

he writes this down, making sure you tell him every detail.

lets be real, you barely know.

dating akutagawa; you already knew you were putting your job at risk, let alone your life!!

he makes sure your safe, and sends you check up "how are you" messages of he hasn't seen you all day; or more thwn two.

YOSANO AKKIKO

checks up on you every. single. day

she makes sure your not hurt, and asks how you are.

sometimes it gets to the point you try to avoid her check-ups; to which she gets more nervous for you.

when she found out, you actually told her.

she gives you some advice, and she takes it seriously.

if she ever finds out he's hurting you in some way; akutagawa may be seeing the doctor more then you ever had.

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA

sorry he needs a second.

"....huh?"

his response. straight up.

you would explain to him you confessed to the mafia executive, and he had many questions.

when?

WHY?

HOW??

...for how long?

that was the question he carried the most around in his head before asking.

he's worried for you. and can you blame?

half of the visits he makes to yosano is BECAUSE OF YOUR BOYFRIEND-

he just...wants you to make your decisions carefully, and will always be your number one supporter.

much to his boyfriends dissapprovel.

JUNICHIRO & NAOMI

their reaction would be the same as the rest; worry and confusion.

naomi would at first be so happy you found someone until her brother suddenly remembers...its akutagawa.

THE SAME akutagawa who'a hurt many of his loved ones; espically naomi.

he wouldn't look at you any different, but he would be concerned for your safety.

naomi is the same; however you can gossip to her about most boy things.

PM :

MORI

gags- okay uhm-

mori's reaction wouldn't be anything to extreme. he won't really show much reaction besides a "nod" and "are we done here?"

he wouldn't be a dick about it; but you have noticed he's been keeping the two of you more distant...thinking your relationship will get in the way of hos job.

you are an enemy to th3 mafia; i dont think he's going to acknowledge the fact you two are dating.

he's almost made the two of you break-up because of his manipulation...

stop idk what else to write-

GIN AKUTAGAWA

shes interigating her brother-

"where did you meet them?"

"can they be trusted?"

"they could be using you to get to the boss-"

you had to prove to her you loved her brother, and will show the same respect he shows you to her.

after then she's kinda chill with you.

JUST DONT HURT HIM-

you see that knife? yeah that will slit your throat in seconds.

[marunalu]

Hi. What do you think about new chapter?

Honestly? For the most part I was just bored. As much as I love that izuku got his arms back, you can see that the only reason why hori let him lose them in the first place was to shock the readers. This is the same bullcrap he did with bakugous fake death. To let him get "killed" just to let him get resurrected in the very next chapter.

It was clear izuku would get his arms back, but at least it should have lastet a few chapters to show readers how serious the whole situation is. There are no stakes in this "war". The good guys dont die and if they get injured a "wonder" happens so they will not die or end up terrible disabled for the rest of their lives. And just like I said after the latest chapter, deux ex machina eri is the one who saves the day of course.

Again, it was clear izuku would get his arms back and that it would be eris doing. Thats not my problem. My problem is that I dont like it when an author writes shocking scenes simply just for the shock value and to trend on twitter and not because its important for the story. Thats horrible and lazy writing and just screams "I want attention!"

An other problem I have is that eri can simply just "cut her horn off" it seems. By that logic there was never a reason for chisaki to abuse eri like he did. He could have simply waited till the horn was big enough and then cut it off and I dont think chisaki was to dumb to not realize that by himself. I dont know if it means that eri is kinda quirkless from now on, but knowing hori I wouldnt bet on it and I think the horn will just grow back. I also dont like how eri calls bakugou "kacchan." We never see them interacting in the manga or that they formed a relationship. As far as I know only in the light novels in which eri is scared of him they interact. I just dont think hori should put things that happen in other medias like the light novels or movies in the manga, because it could confuse people that only have read the manga and nothing else.

About the whole kurogiri vs aizawa and mic interaction. The whole thing just startet so I guess we will see an other flashback so I cant say much about it yet. I just wished hori would stop skipping whole fights of other characters just because he likes to focus on bakugou instead by giving him TWO fights! Bakugou has enough spotlight, other characters deserve it more and not just flashback fights.

I liked though that it was mentioned that eri is learning from aizawa and thinks rational like him, so thats why she cut her horn just like he did cut his leg off. Its also cute how she mentioned that she wants to become a singer like jiro. The only other thing I liked was that afomura is starting to look more like the original afo now, because thats a thing I was wondering if it will happen. Him looking exactly like his original body and then fighting izuku would be great.

All in all the chapter was meeehhhh from what I have seen so far. Its funny because I hated the last chapter at first because the spoilers and translation were worded so bad but now I actually quite like it. For this chapter I dont feel much except maybe bored and annoyance over hori writing shock moments that dont mean anything but to shock his readers. I simply dont like it when authors do that.

[myfandomrealitea]

saw ur post about going incognito into spaces and stuff and i wanted to add my own thoughts about my experience of basically being stuck in places where proshippers r hated (not against wut ur saying! i definitely agree that theres no benefits and honestly its not that fun)

the fandom that im currently in is.. very toxic. someone got harassed to the point of having to delete their account bc they "supported" a proshipper (it was literally just them saying that u shouldnt harass this person just bc theyre proship-). a lot of my friends were very supportive of this person and agreed that ppl shouldnt be harassed over shit like that and many of them seem to have similar viewpoints as me (anti harassment and all that) but prefer to stay away from that stuff

the fandom is basically ran by antis. theres a small corner that some ppl have made where they talk about proship stuff freely (love those ppl so much theyre genuinely so nice) but overall its. not the best place to be if ur proship. which is interesting to me bc theres actually a shocking amount of proshippers that just... dont say anything. on my side blog ive had multiple ppl interact that i thought were anti (or at least just. not proship in some way) but would literally go and like all my posts about incest ships of the characters.

and sometimes i think about it and how theres actually a bunch of proshippers but we're so heavily harassed and silenced that we just- dont say anything. but the fandom is small and we cant exactly separate ourselves from it if we really like the show. and i feel especially bad for some of the bigger blogs that ppl love and adore bc i know wut would happen if somehow ppl found out and made some big post or wutever.

i dont pretend to be antiship but i dont outright say im proship unless i really trust that person

im currently trying to make my own lil space with some friends so at least if anything goes wrong i at least have a few ppl but its a bit scary to think about honestly-

Although it can be full of snot-nosed superiority complexes, I do recommend using the AO3 Subreddit in order to find likeminded people for your fandom. The very vast majority of the AO3 Subreddit is proship or at least proship neutral. Antis are generally eviscerated on sight whenever they try to poke their nose into it.

If you have any other fandoms that you are active in or have friends within, there's also no harm in introducing them to your small fandom.

From what I understand the Marvel fandom did kind of the same thing you're describing with the Starker shippers, but they flourished and supported each other anyway.

I know its easy for me to simply say 'do it anyway' as someone who generally could not give a fuck about anyone's opinion of me, but honestly. Do it anyway. Form your little collective. Support each other. Learn how to write and draw and make GIFs so you feed your own portion of the fandom. You physically do not need those people, it just unfortunately takes a bit of effort and means potentially a bit less content until you start really generating your own.

Fandom spaces do not start out from nothing. Promote the shit out of your fandom. Draw people in. Comb through the proship tags and send asks to blogs like mine asking other proshippers to check out the source material.

People in small fandoms are easy to bully because you're so enclosed into this circle of the exact same people. They happen to be the majority in the room and they're weaponising it.

Force them into a bigger room.

[cartoonrival]

HEY YOU Hit me with some Julie Su propoganda cuz I'm mostly lukewarm on her character and don't know all that much about her.

OK OK ... well baseline info she's the daughter of dark legion general luger, and half sister of lien-da and kragok, who are twins and both high ranking legion soldiers. when their mother (merin-da) died and luger remarried, ld and kragok hated his new wife (julie-su's mother) (mari-su) so bad they orchestrated her death, info which was they kept on the DL for a long time until js eventually found out about it. memory situation, js is raised by other folks who actually love her and doesn't learn who her blood family is until later. she joins knuckles because she feels inexplicably drawn to him (soul touch) (echidna soulmates) so she defects from the legion to join the chaotix. the soul touch thing sucks and i hate it but this is how it goes. ill talk about my au version of her at the end lol bc things ive built on top of canon are part of the reason why shes one of my fave charas in the series lul

ANYWHO i honestly find it pretty frustrating when people talk about js as just being pink knuckles, shoehorned into the story to give knuckles an obligatory girlfriend, because it really demonstrates that they like. weren't paying a lick of attention to anything because she genuinely has a LOT of personality but since people just go in anticipating anything penders touched to suck they don't even bother to think about her for longer than half a second.

js fills a niche that, imo, could always use filling, especially with regards to girl characters, which is to say shes a well meaning asshole. shes incredibly blunt, she's pessimistic (immediately assumes knuckles must be dead when enerjak returns and they cant find him, tells knuckles not to search a fallen ship that his mother was on because shes probably dead and she doesnt think he'd want to see that). shes terrible at handling interpersonal conflict (knuckles confesses to her that he feels guilty and stressed over all the pressure put on him as guardian and she scolds him and says "this isn't just about you", which results in a minor shouting match when she really had zero intention of starting an argument), she's almost constantly beefing with vector (tbf its because hes sexist he refuses to see past her history as a member of the dark legion). these might suond like cons but i love characters like this LOL and they fit especially well in archie where people love to get mad at each other and make dumb mistakes and it just feels very genuine and interesting and endearing to me. shes rough and difficult but she's also DEEPLY loyal. she'd die for knuckles and the chaotix and the way she interacts with them always makes me soooo ........ im just gonna give some examples i can find.

(knuckles is on the phone with her)

^ this was the genuine conclusion of an argument they had and im obsessed with it because both of them suck with emotions so they both give the worlds strangest apology and know that the other means it and they move on. plus putting her arm in front of SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG while theyre confronting eggman even after watching him CHAOS BLAST, primarily because she feels like this is more her fight than his (its about knuckles).

theres def more and i could find them if i was more on top of archie but unfortunately im #narutopilled rn. BUT ANYWAYS. shes just a very fun character with a messy personality and fun interactions and she loves her buddies sm even tho she bickers with them. shes just very special. she fits well with knuckles in a way that makes their relationship actually feel plausible instead of just forcing him to have a girlfriend (tho ofc the writing is fumbled sometimes like. ITS ARCHIE. bffr. but thats the case with literally everything ever in archie so you take what you can and its amazing). also see below. BASED AS FUCKKKKKKK

and ill discuss my au briefly bc u r asking me my opinion on js and that does play a large role in how i feel abt her, but rly im just expanding on elements of her story that werent discussed as fully as i wouldve liked. her relationship with lien-da is obviously BAD in canon, but theres not a lot of time spent lingering on precisely how lien-da and kragok feel about julie-su as the product of their fathers second marriage to a woman they KILLED because they hated her so much. ive also given her much more internal strife over turning away from the legion, originally joining the chaotix planning to betray them from the inside then being slowly convinced to join them for real after realizing how much she'd been brainwashed by the legion and what its like to have people who truly love and care about you. her story as someone who is trying to find herself outside of her history as a child soldier is something that TOTALLY deserves to be expanded on and its a bit sad that it wasnt explored. but i mean really im not changing her actual PERSONALITY at all because as i discussed shes oozing with it.... im honestly never going to make the full comic i wanted to so at some point im just going to compile all the lore and concept art and stuff into one big post to share. but thats like a spoiler free taste.

she also has a gun. which is fucking awesome because not enough sonic characters have guns. people make shadow the guy with a gun but he hasnt been seen with one since shth. hello....

[majoringinsarcasm]

People have gotten it into their heads that Fanfiction needs criticism. And that’s not to say you CANT tell someone “hey this was formatted in a way that’s hard to read maybe try breaking up the paragraphs next time” or “hey you used this character for the plot and that’s fine but we shouldn’t use Chocolate and Mocha and Caramel to describe people of color especially since you didn’t do the same for the white / light skinned characters”

But the idea of “this was out of character and I didn’t like it please read the source material again” and “this made up scenario would never happen” or even better “I can’t believe you headcanon this character this way you must be stupid. Yes this is an AU and you don’t treat this character that way in other fics but this ONE AU must mean you think of them like this ALL the time and I think it’s stupid and bad and also morally evil somehow”

You’re embarrassing. You’re rude. And these people so often don’t write or draw themselves. If people ASK for honest feedback you still shouldn’t call them out their name or be rude but you have permission to give CONSTRUCTIVE feedback. Imagine getting an email saying you have a comment only to open it and see “I liked this but I hate the ship I’d love to see you write X instead” or any variation that’s not about The Fic You Posted. Same with art! Fandom is not training for Bigger Things. And there are indeed moments when people do stuff we need to talk about. But like most things this is a nuanced topic and like most things people lean so far in either direction that the idea of a middle ground does not exist.

In short you actually don’t need to tell someone you hate their fan work. Unless they ask for feedback or you’re pointing out Blatant issues that aren’t just “I hate this personally” you can just not say anything. Or bitch in private like the rest of us. You’re not better for “having courage to tell the author or artist directly” you don’t like their style. You’re just rude as hell and the people cheering on your rudeness are people other fans don’t want to interact with.

[gwyns]

https://www.tumblr.com/freyjas-musings/742671202419605504/im-just-curious-but-why-artists-draw-azs-shadows

https://www.tumblr.com/freyjas-musings/742670976839483392/i-just-cant-deal-with-elriels-anymore-they-want

I agree with these posts! I’ve seen so much fan art of Azriel’s shadows interacting with Elain even thought they skitter away from her and e/riel’s are saying that she will make his shadows go away, but in the beginning of his bonus chapter he talks about how his shadows will always be there with him.

They bring up how his shadows disappear around Mor, and it’s good since he had ( some e/riel’s believe he’s over her🤡) feelings for her, but that happened in ACOMAF when Mor & Azriel were originally supposed to be endgame. They were close with each other and had a deep friendship. His shadows vanishing, at that time since Mor who was his love interest, was probably a good thing and could be looked at differently, however in ACOWAR this obviously changed. Mor has to walk on eggshells with Azriel now. Proof of this is her pov in ACOFAS.

So Azriel’s shadows disappearing around Elain and e/riel’s thinking it’s a good thing because they do that with Mor, who is cautious around him, isn’t actually a good thing in my opinion. But they’ll argue left and right that this is good and that Elain makes his shadows calm, but there’s no canon text that she does make his shadows calm.

However, Azriel’s shadows had calmed, seemed content to watch him interact with Gwyn, which is actually stated by Azriel in his chapter, (and actually appeared to want to stay). They interacted with Gwyn in a positive way. I believe Azriel’s shadows are sentient and an extension of his soul. I think his shadows can sense the mating bond. Not saying that it’s snapped, because I most definitely don’t think it has, but I think it’s in the beginning stages. His shadows sense something is there. Which I think is interesting especially since a few days after Solstice we have that whole scene of Gwyn cutting the ribbon (👀), Azriel’s shadows also dancing again when she asked about a prize, Nesta calling Az the new ribbon, and his interactions with Gwyn pick up. When Gwyn was kidnapped for the Blood Rite (along with Emerie & Nesta) Azriel did react contrary to with e/riel’s say. His shadows AND siphons deepened. There was nothing him or Cassian could do though. Hell, even Rhys couldn’t do anything if they asked him. But both of them trusted in the girls to complete it. They showed their faith and support in them.

I think e/riel’s forget that the bonus chapter took place in the middle of the book, and Az’s interactions with Gwyn pick up after Solstice. Azriel and Elain have not interacted with each other (as far as we’ve seen on page unless it’s happening off page) since Solstice. I don’t think Azriel and Elain are having that secret-forbidden romance (there’s honestly nothing forbidden about it), because SJM writes her romances (and develops) them on paper where the readers can actually read it. Having a romance off page (that isn’t developed) isn’t her writing style. Azriel does say in HOFAS he doesn’t have a mate, but Gwynriel’s are fine with that, because we get to actually see their relationship develop. We get to see them become friends, we get to see them fall in love with each other, we get to see the mating bond snap.

I don’t think Azriel’s shadows interacting with Gwyn like that is her being evil as e/riel’s love to claim. Didn’t his shadows warn him about Koschei and the Cauldron? Surely they would do the same if Gwyn was evil. He felt a spark in his chest, which is how a mating bond is described and if you look at other mated couples, the bond is described to be a song between the souls. The wording with Gwynriel is so similar to other mates, especially Bryce and Hunt.

i agree! it's common knowledge at this point that e/riels steal from the other ships but then try to act as if they thought of it first when, no honey, 1. there's timestamp proof and 2. no e/riel has ever been that creative or paid enough attention to canon to develop widely fanon accepted things

even if moriel wasn't meant to be a thing (and tbh i've always been iffy on it. even back in the acomaf days i didn't really see it on both ends, and i swear a fan at a signing said sjm was surprised people shipped them but meh that's a topic for another day. maybe lol), sjm made certain to show us the difference in his shadows around these two women and tell us how deeply az values them. how they're his closest friends, how they're an intrinsic part of him, how they're not going anywhere. if once, them vanishing was a good thing, it's clear that's no longer the case. hence why they want the shadows to love elain but i'm sorry, that's just not happening lmfao

in my opinion, love is kind and sure and calm so the fact that az's shadows calm around gwyn is a huge green flag. like az is stressed af all the time! he needs to be able to come home and be at ease, to relax and just be az. without all the fancy and terrifying titles. we got this in his bonus chapter and they're trying to say it doesn't mean anything? really?? bffr

the "you're the new ribbon, az" is such an endgame indicator in my opinion. like nesta is telling us that gwyn has her sights set on az and we know how determined gwyn is. it's over for the bread and roses ship, if it wasn't already lol. the thing is, gwyn is a sexual assault survivor, az would never dream of coming on too strong with her so if anything happens between them, the ball is in her court. and then we have az who is canonically attracted to unavailable women, whether that's a coincidence, or some subconscious thing that ties into his low self worth... i don't know but to me, it fits perfectly together. gwyn will be the one making moves on him, or at least be the one to take that first, big step, and i think that will be huge for az who constantly feels he's not worthy or good enough

regarding the blood rite and the "forbidden" romance, there's nothing of substance there. just e/riels lacking critical thinking skills as always. if rhys couldn't do anything to get the girls out, what the fuck was az supposed to do? and no one is stopping e/riel from seeing each other except az himself so... you know. clearly he doesn't care about seeing her that much

why e/riels love the idea of every major moment of their ship developing off page, i'll never know. if i were an e/riel, i'd be so pissed. the fun of romance novels is seeing the characters come together and fall in love. and sjm knows that too, clearly, she's a romance author for christ's sake lol. she's not going to have these characters fall in love, move in together and get pregnant off page. no way in hell. that's also why they can't understand that gwynriels are perfectly content with that "he wouldn't consider her a friend but..." or whatever line because, like you said, that means we'll get to see them become friends. then lovers. then mates. why wouldn't you want that?

az's shadows know everything, that's why he's such a valuable spy. they tell him things he couldn't otherwise know. that's literally explained in the books. i believe they're sentient too, they tell him to sleep when he needs to so they obviously care for him, if gwyn were a danger to az, they would absolutely warn him. also the gwyn is secretly evil theory is shit because she's in part based off of sjm's irl friends and her villains are pretty two dimensional. so yeah, that's never happening lmao. even if (big if) gwynriel doesn't happen, gwyn is safe, so they just look stupid as hell talking about "evil gingers" or whatever the fuck they say these days.

i think that after so many books, true sjm fans know when she's working her mate bond magic. no matter how much others cry about it, sjm is a fated mates author. don't like it? go find someone else's books to read. it's as simple as that

[randomgooberness]

👀 Gordon amputation HCs? (If you don't mind talking about them!)

Y;HES

ok disclaimer: I am not an amputee! I am not a medical professional! I am not a prosthetic maker! I am not an engineer! I am simply an autistic writer and artist who has had a webcomic with an amputee character for 5+ years and I have done my research- but PLEASE if you like these headcanons and use it as advice for writing amputees I would also suggest listening to other sources, too!

The prosthetic:

-the arm ends about maybe like five inches under the wrist- which makes it just enough to get basic prosthetics going. Something a LOT of people don't consider is how much space you need to get robotics in there!

-This is the case for everyones(?i have yet to see otherwise) headcanons whether they know it or not but he specifically has a myoelectric prosthetic- which in itself is an EXTREMELY high-tech one! What it does is it detects electricity(YES! YOUR MUSCLES HAVE ELECTRICITY IN THEM!) from the muscles under your skin and amplifies them to be movement!

I would actually HIGHLY suggest people do research into these prosthetics because they are SUPER cool but also not as good as you think they are! That being said:

-He cannot feel with it and has to guess how hard he has to grip something! There's research for prosthetics like this, but they're extremely faulty and- if anyone wants to correct me on this that's fine but I'm pretty sure- it would need Constant upkeep and repairs, ESPECIALLY if it could feel like a normal hand.

-at first he only used it when he went out and when he was doing something that might need two hands Because of this- he didn't really wear it much around the house. Not to mention like...he went from losing it, to an immediate gun arm, to suddenly having a prosthetic- whiiiich. Isn't good for the psychological part of a traumatic amputation! So yeah he didn't really like it all too much at first. Don't get me wrong it was a great tool and he appreciated it over no hand especially because he could actually properly articulate the fingers but...it also just. Was jarring.

-eventually, he and Dr. Coomer teamed up to make it more adaptable, and by that I mean a fucking pirate-ass thing where he could swap out his hand for other things like forks or electric screwdrivers or like. Anything. They like to get together to make new hands on the weekend. It's enrichment. With these add-ons he wore the prosthetic more, but sometimes he just. prefers taping a fork to his limb and calling it a day.

-^this hc is based off of adaptive devices that people make to work with whats left of the limb instead of trying to replace it! They range from other robotics to something plastic and/or 3d printed that just holds a pencil in place. From what I've researched they tend to be more liked than clunky fingers you cant feel lol

-IF THERE IS ANY ADVICE YOU GLEEN FROM THIS: please please please he doesn't sleep with his prosthetic on he SHOULD NOT SLEEP WITH HIS PROSTHETIC ON. DO NOT SLEEP WEARING YOUR PROSTHETIC- this also goes for just chilling out ect. Do you "chill out" in your jeans with a belt on?

-I've said it a few times already but I DO want to encourage other people who draw art or write fics that it's OKAY if his prosthetic doesn't work like a perfect, new hand and in fact is more realistic and something that should be done more often! It's very common to want to write off an amputees disability with "ok now they have a prosthetic they're all better <3" which isn't true at all and it really IS worth it to do some extra research- I might just have an engineering and medical special interest so it might just be me but its SUPER fun to learn things and it makes it more interesting writing how a character interacts with their disability!

The amputation/specifics(WARNING FOR TALK ABOUT GORE, OBVIOUSLY):

-I usually write/draw it being a combat knife because that's specifically what he mentions was used, but realistically it would've been something that could get through the suit itself. Either way, it was a really slow and painful process. Fun fact- while this is like...a debate in the medical field, the forearm is one of the most painful things in the body to break!

-Continuing from that last part, there ARE a lot of nerves in your forearm(ever hit your funnybone? yeah. yowch), as well as TWO bones. Arms and hands are SUPER complex so injuries are...just As complex!

-In the full VOD in act 3, Gordon mentions his suit cauterized it- which if you dont know what that is- it's basically Burning A Wound Shut. I can see this being the case, actually- seeing as the suit itself detects specific things in the body being injured- electricity IS a way to cauterize something. I want to point out that cauterization, however, is AGONIZINGLY PAINFUL and is SUPER DANGEROUS, even when controlled! He's SUPER lucky he didn't go into shock and die in his sleep lmao.

-Oh speaking of sleep. I said this in another post but it was sunset when they betrayed him- and daytime when he woke up. So he was asleep in the garbage compactor for hours.

-It's implied because he keeps talking about how he's still bleeding, but yeah even with the suit cauterizing the wound it wouldn't be fully shut. So he'd be bleeding a lot- ESPECIALLY if it didn't want to kill the nerves in his arm(which makes prosthesis easier in the future, via the myoelectric method I mentioned earlier).

-Because of this Tommy(and later Dr. Coomer and Bubby) had to make him make-shift wrappings and have him lean on them a lot. He lost a Lot of blood and by the time they found a fully functioning medical station it wasn't able to just...give him more. It could give him iron and such but yeah this guy has anemia.

-this is just a really funny note but in act 4 when he's leaving Darnolds lab in the VOD he goes "well I guess I'm able-bodied again!" NO YOU ARE NOT THAT IS GUNHAND. But anyways because of this statement, I think for the first few days after being without his arm hes like. oh im not really disabled though even though he is like. stereotypically disabled. sir

-Phantom pains and nightmares are. A nearly nightly combo.

-Whether they're triggered by something or not, phantom pains in general suck so so so so much. Just so much.

-He actually took a Long time to go to a doctor for his issues. Gordon. Buddy. Look Me In The Eyes. you can get medicine for your pain. you can take physical therapy. please . He wasnt even trying to like...tough it out like part of him was but it was mostly that he just. didnt know and forgot.

-it took him a really long time to trust Benrey touching where his hand used to be, but once they grew close post-rescas him and Tommy became Gordons go-to for phantom pain/itch help. slap my dumb arm thank you

Aaaand thats all I can think of at the moment! I might add on if I have any like. Sudden crushing things I need to say about him and my amputation hcs!