#i was planning out how to tell my mom i need therapy in a way that might have convinced her to at least let me make a test appointment

[sourkitsch]

Two things that are true at once:

I am not nearly as mentally ill as I’ve convinced myself I am

I am far sicker than I’ve convinced my friends that I am

[born-to-lose]

Um. Day ruined :D

[pepprs]

mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[inkskinned]

being single in your late 20s & 30s is so fucking wild bc on one hand it's fun and flirty and you skip a lot of the bullshit because you know what you're looking for and you know how to spot a red flag from a mile away and you've learned to set boundaries and communicate your own and be upfront about your needs and most of the time they've learned it too - and if they haven't, you can tell after the second date that they haven't been to therapy

and every time you feel lonely and dried up and an ugly husk there's a whole community of other single people out there who are just as unhinged and want to hang out with you because they just need a plus-one like you do and you get introduced to like. people in their 60's and 70's and 80's who are all like - nope, single life is my choice and i love it and you feel warm and seen and like okay, it's not the end of the world if i'm not seeing anybody. and yeah it's hard and sometimes exhausting but part of getting better is that you do make like so many friends and do so much wild shit because you made a promise to yourself that you'll actually get out there and try shit and actually work on your hobbies and skills and friendships because to be honest in relationships you wouldn't push yourself this hard and it's actually been super rewarding because it came from you and from what you wanted

and yes of course the apps such and dating in general can suck but after one of the bad dates you go back to your apartment and call up those friends you made and make jokes about what the other person said and it rolls right off your back and you have plans for self-care in the morning. you prioritize yourself and your happiness and you really actually don't mind it, a lot of the time, unless it's like at a wedding and they're doing one of those couples-related things. most of the time it's not even a problem except when you can tell people pity you for it and you're like - i'm actually fine, babe, even without a partner i am still, like a person and yes of course it would be nice to have a partner but you have established yourself as a person and as an adult in a way that feels really hard-won and well-earned and you're protective of that and of the life you're living and honestly you're pretty happy, all things considered

and at the same time you do have to tell your father that you are single on purpose right now and that, yes, believe it or not, they're letting women be single past the age of 30 these days without burning us at the stake (can you imagine!) and you have to kind of sit pretty while people make jokes about how you're losing your marriageability and you're like, a little too old for the bars and the clubs and whatever but you do still want to go out dancing and it's like. the other day you went to a board game party and had the time of your life and then your mom calls you and says she's worried because what if you never find the one, shouldn't you be spending more time looking? and you're like - trying to balance this place where you're actually, like, perfectly okay? except you hear this thing over and over and over - oh no. that's so sad. i hope you find your lover. and you weren't really upset about it until someone suggested that you're running out of time and until someone said that it's so miserable that you live without someone to kiss and you're like why can't anyone believe that i'm genuinely happy. like. joy. like. bliss.

and then they look at you and they look at their partner and the look passes between them that says - poor thing. you're just lying to yourself about this.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 31

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 28, part 29, Part 30

“Where’s Steve,” Dusitn asks Robin immediately after walking through the Family Video doors.

Robin looks up from the customer she’s checking out, already looking a little annoyed. But that could have been from the customer and not him. He hopes it’s not him.

“On his break, why?” She returns her attention to the customer, sliding the tape across the counter with a receipt. Very pointedly saying, “Don’t forget to be kind and rewind.”

The customer walks out of the store, leaving it empty except for the two of them. “I have an idea to help Eddie, but it involves his house.”

“What’s the idea?” Robin pushes herself up on the counter, spinning around so she’s facing him.

Dustin pulls out a notebook, a full pros and cons list already at the ready. With details of why this plan needs to happen, and why it needs to happen soon. Why it is the best plan and a rebuttal to every single argument Steve could have.

“Oh Jesus, what the hell is that?” Robin asks.

“Just the plan.”

Steve comes out of the break room, registering that Dustin is there and that he is holding a notebook.

“What is it this time?” he groans. Walking in front of the counter and leaning back next to Robin. Crossing his arms, ready to veto.

“I need you to loan two of your rooms to Wayne and Eddie.”

“What?” Steve asks surprised. And confused. Robin looks the same.

“Yeah,” Dustin takes a quick glance at his notebook, finding the best place to start. “Wayne was over at my house the other night having dinner and my mom had brought up how nice it would be for Eddie to go home to his own bed. Which is currently split in two in a biohazard area that no one can enter. And Wayne hasn’t found them another place to live yet, and Eddie shouldn’t be discharged to a motel. So,” he pauses. For a mix of dramatic effect and in the hopes that they might fill in his next sentence.

“So, you want Steve to let them stay in his house until Wayne can find a place,” Robin finishes his sentence.

Dustin nods. “Exactly.”

Steve thinks about it, scratching at his jaw. “I mean, I could probably do it. I’m not sure they would accept it though.”

He was honestly not expecting Steve to accept that fast. The notebook almost feels foolish now. “Why would they not? They need a place to stay, you have a big house that no one other than you lives in half the time. It’s a good plan.”

“On paper, but that doesn’t mean they’ll accept it.” Robin looks at Dustin with an empathetic expression.

Steve extends one of his hands toward Robin in agreement. “Eddie says that Wayne can be stubborn when asking for help. Or accepting it. Something big like this might take some convincing.”

Dustin doesn’t remember Eddie saying that during one of their visits.

“When did he tell you that?”

“I don’t just visit him with you, you know,” Steve says like it makes perfect sense.

“Yeah, he spends so much time at the hospital now,” Robin teases. Bumping her shoulder into Steve’s.

Steve shoves her back. “Shut up.”

“Anyway.” Dustin chooses to ignore whatever that was about. “This took a lot less convincing than I thought it would.”

“Yeah, well,” Steve shrugs. “I already let Mrs. Mayfield stay with me when she was looking for a new place to live. And Robin’s parents while their house was being fumigated. Not the first time I offered this.”

Still, these were people he didn’t know as well. Or maybe knew a bit more than Dustin was expecting. He wanted Eddie and Steve to become friends. Was begging for it before spring break. It must have happened sometime along then. Dustin thought that they were just being civil. Against a common goal and then would part their separate ways.

But he was glad that they got past the size of their persona’s and saw the people underneath. They would be really good friends if they would have done that a lot sooner. Now they can be, he guesses.

“And I have the garage set up as a gym, so Eddie can do his physical therapy exercises in there. Plus, my parent’s giant ass tub if he can’t stand long enough for the shower.”

“You could also fill in the pool,” Dustin adds. Making a few notes in his notebook. The title now scribbled out. Replacing, “Ways to Convince Steve,” to “Ways to Convince Wayne.” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it filled.”

Something about Steve suddenly becomes cagey. Staring off in the distance and his smile wavering. “Yeah, maybe.”

Dustin’s really excited about this now. Realizing that this could be good for all of them. Steve would finally have some people living in his house for more than just a night. Have people looking out for him, Dustin assumes, when things get bad. Instead of Steve just suffering with it alone. And Eddie and Wayne would have some very nice beds to sleep in.

Then there’s the way it would benefit Dustin. Instead of having to drag Steve out of his house to go to the hospital every day, he could just stay there. Watch over both Steve and Eddie, under the same roof. Temporarily. But it might put the constant worry in his mind a rest.

The nightmares haven’t exactly gotten better as Eddie got better. Vines and bat bites morphing into endless wires and ripped open stitches. Fears of bleeding out in a place that no one will find him changes into dying in the place that was meant to save him.

Nothing ever ends, it just changes. From one thing to the next for the rest of his life. Seasons change and time moves on, but part of Dustin stays trapped in that November where it all started. A younger version of himself trapped behind bars and waiting to be saved. Slowly coming to the realization that it never will be.

Dustin is forever changed. So are these people around him. They will never get their lived back on the tracks they were before the upside down caused a permanent derailment.

If parallel dimensions can really exist, then who’s to say whether there is one where none of this happened. Where Dustin grew up with the innocence a twelve-year-old should have. And nothing caused it to break too soon.

But if that was really true, he wouldn’t have the people in his life he did today. Was innocence so worth it to lose this family he had?

He watches as Robin and Steve have to go back to their jobs when a customer walks through the doors. Moving seamlessly around each other to do their job in the most efficient way possible. Having silent conversations with their eyes and micro expressions. Before turning back to Dustin in near unison as soon as the customer leaves.

“So how are we going to convince them?”

tag list (capping at 100, only 1 spots left): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

SOLD TO CHUCKLE SANDWICH??? 😱😱😱

🩸🐑🩸 Please go away Tucker 🩸🐑🩸

Heads up: I tried to write how I used to in middle school. It’s certainly a fic. Cw for cringe an the use of “…” an ungodly amount of times

It’s an early Monday morning, I wake up, toss my silky blonde hair into a messy bun, and change into something for school. It’s my first day as a senior…again. I need to wear something that I can blend into the crowd so nobody notices me but I also don’t want to be too basic…

After digging through my closet for a while settle on something. It’s simple, black shoes, black skinny jeans, my trusty gray beanie, my glasses (of course), and my definitely authentic chuckle sandwich t-shirt:

Honestly I think this is a perfect outfit for what’s hopefully my last first day of school.

I check the clock, 7:18, I should get going if I don’t want miss my bus… I grab my backpack and start to walk out but as I pass by the kitchen, I see something…

My mom was talking to three men, all their backs were facing me so I couldn’t tell who they were but their voices sounded… familiar. One of the men turns around as I try to get a better look at them and my jaw drops as his brownish orbs meet my blue ones.

“T-Ted Nivison? Wha- what are you doing in my apartment??”

Ted smiles, “You must be Y/n, your mother was telling us all about you.” The other two men turn around and they are… SCHLATT AND TUCKER??? I nearly drop my backpack, why was Chuckle Sandwich at MY APARTMENT?!

“That doesn’t answer my question… Why are y-you all here?”

“These guys are buying you,” my mother answers after she takes a long sip of her black coffee.

…

…

…

“WHAT?!”

My face goes pale and my eyes widen. She’s selling me? What? How is that even legal?!

“These guys wanted to buy you,” she’s saying this way too nonchalantly, “and I needed money.”

I sink to the floor. My head is spinning. Is this real? No- it can’t be. I’m going to wake up any second now! This is all a silly dream I can post about on my blog and get 12 notes on. I just need to wake up now… wake up… Wake up… WAKE UP!!

“Uhh…Y/n...?” I open my eyes again and look up at Schlatt who seem slightly uncomfortable, “I know that this is a lot to take in right now… but you need to go grab your stuff so we can go now..”

“G-go where…?”

“The Chuckle House.” Schlatt doesn’t elaborate further.

“The Chuckle what?”

“The Chuckle House, it’s where we’re all going to live :)” Tucker says, “We’ll explain more on the way there”

“Wait I’m leaving right now? What about school??”

“School can wait,” Ted quips in, “but I need to return the u-haul by 2:30 so we should get going..”

I look out through the kitchen window, a moving van was parked outside next to a really nice car I’ve never seen before, the rental’s back was opened, and by the looks of it there was just enough space for a couple bags of my stuff.. today can’t be real… “M-mom… is this real?”

“I’m sorry, Y/n…” She almost looks guilty for once, “but I mean it could be worse, I didn’t have to sell you to your favorite YouTubers. I could’ve sold you to Mr.Beast’s coal mines or Wilbur Soot”

I guess she’s right? But it’s still kinda messed up. Knowing Mom, she’s dead set on this whole thing and I was planning on moving out once I graduated anyways… I might as well try to make the most of this. “Alright…” I sigh, “I’ll go grab my stuff…”

I go back to my room and shut the door… this is actually happening… wow… I don’t know how to feel right now… if only I used code word “CHUCKLE” on betterhelp to get my first online therapy session free back when they were sponsored by them…

I rummaged through my closet and pack all my clothes, well at least all the ones I can fit into my old gym bag… I grab a tote bag and stuff the other essentials: my sketch book, copic markers, toothbrush, charger, and whatever cash I had saved up.

With everything packed, I start to head back out to throw it all in the u-haul. Schlatt and Tucker are gone and I see Ted handing over a check to my mother. He looks over to me, “You all ready, Y/n?” I nod, it feels weird having the Ted Nivison say me name.

I wave bye to my mother and she closes the door as we leave. Ted takes my gym bag and backpack to put in the back of the truck as I sit in the passenger seat with my tote bag. I look back out to my old apartment building… I see my mother through the window, drinking her coffee, going along with her day as if this was normal… Mom…

…

…

“Y/n?”

“Huh?” I snap back into reality and suddenly we were out of the complex and in a McDonald’s drive thru, how did I not notice him driving?

“Do you want anything?”

“Oh uhhh…” I don’t really feel like eating now, “just an orange juice…please.”

“You sure?”

I nod.

“Alright then…” Ted starts asking for his order and I look out of the window again. Questions flood my head. What am I to these people? A servant? Property? Am I going to be allowed to finish school still? Was that the last time I see my mom? Do I even want to see her again…? Do I?

…

“You do that a lot?”

I snap out of it again, we’re already out of the drive thru. The orange juice was now in my hands, how did I not notice him passing it to me? “Huh? Do what?”

“You space out a lot,” Ted points out as he pulls out his McMuffin and hands me the brown paper bag, “There’s another one in there for you in case you get hungry…”

“Oh- uhh thanks…”

“No problem,” he says while taking a bite of the breakfast sandwich with one hand and steering with the other.

…

Uncomfortable silence fills the u-haul. The only noise we have is the sound of Ted’s quiet-ish chewing and my thoughts that I’m sure he could sense. This is unbearable. I need to stop the quiet somehow. “So… you mind if I ask a few questions?”

“Oh- yeah go ahead,” Ted sounds relieved I broke the silence.

“So what am I? Like company property or something?”

He cringes at my words, “I guess technically? I don’t really like the sound of that though… how about we just say you’re a uhh… permanent assistant maybe?”

“Okay then…” I nod, “was any of today legal?”

“Oh definitely not,” he pauses for a moment, “it’d be pretty cool of you to not report us to the police about this…”

“Yeah okay,” I don’t even think the police would believe me if I told them so there really isn’t a point of reporting him.

“Cool thanks…”

“No problem,” I take a sip of the orange juice, it’s lukewarm. “…so what’s the Chuckle House?”

“Oh right- we didn’t really explain it to you properly huh?”

“You really didn’t, no.”

He lets out a small uncomfortable laugh, “Well… Me, Schlatt, and Tucker bought a house in LA and we’re planning on making some irl content in there.”

“Wait- how’d you convince Schlatt to move out here? I thought he hates it out here.”

“He does- but not as much as he says he hates it on the podcast. Besides the potential ad revenue was too good for him to pass on.”

“Fair enough… so I’ll be able to keep going to school and work and stuff, right?”

“Oh? You’re mom didn’t tell us you already had a job.”

“Well I do- I drive those kiddie trains at [insert mall]”

“That sounds… cramped.”

“It is…”

“Well you can keep going to school but we might need you to help us shoot content so the job thing is in the air..”

“Wait you want me to help you guys film?”

“Yeah- that’s kinda why we bought you”

“Wha- but I’ve never held a camera in my life or done anything like that”

There’s a brief pause, “…you haven’t?”

“Nope.”

“Shit…we’ll figure something out…”

That’s all he has to say about this?!

…

Well I guess it is.

The rest of the car ride was quiet, but not as uncomfortable. I plug in my earphones to my phone and listen to my favorite artists, [insert favorite artist] as I watch the cars pass by us. It’s kinda nice…

It’s not long before we start to pull into a neighborhood that’s way nicer than anything I’ve been near. It’s like I’ve been transported straight into one of those home goods magazines. We’re finally here… the house is huge, I feel poor just looking at it… How did these guys afford a house like this in this economy? Schlatt probably paid for most of it.

Maybe I should try to see the positive in all this… Let’s ignore the implications of my my mother and these guys for now and try to enjoy the fact I’ll be living in a nice house with my favorite YouTubers. I mean I do have to unpack all of that stuff soon but for now I should just help Ted out with unloading the u-haul.

—-

An:

Hey thanks for reading this, it was certainly an experience writing it. Let me know if y’all want a part two to this mess it was fun to write. (Just to be very clear, this is not an xreader in the sense of romance but in the sense of y/n interacting with everyone.)

Comments/criticisms are welcomed :)

-S

[natashaslesbian]

Sleepy Bear

Summary: Natasha finds an unusual way to help you sleep

Word Count: 1.1k

Parings (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Warnings: none I believe :))

————

You had no idea how long your girlfriend had been doing this for you. Sleep had never come easy to you, only did you get a rest when your exhaustion would force your body to shut down. Your thoughts leave you restless each night, the anxiety had always been there. Your mom started you in therapy when you were 7, the nightmares should have stopped by then. She tired everything, your mother, each week was a new medication. Your dad on the other hand, he couldn’t have cared less. It was him who marched you into the hospital demanding they scanned your ‘daft brain’ as he put it. There was nothing to be found. Years of therapy only brought the diagnosis of anxiety, much to the disappointment of your father. Dr Grey was a nice lady, but she couldn’t quite solve your problems. You were too young to put your anxiety into words, you just knew it made you too scared to sleep. You stopped therapy after your mom died and your dad refused to pay, you were left to your own devices.

You met Natasha 2 years ago at the coffee shop you work at. She fell head over heels the second she laid her eyes on you, not that she’d ever tell you that. You had your eyes on her too, it took you months to realise that she was purposely going out of her way to visit the shop multiple times a week. It started with lasting looks and then lingering touches when you passed the redhead her iced caramel oat milk latte. Soon you were slipping her extra cookies and then one day she slipped you her number, you never looked back after that day. After a few months you finally let Natasha come over to your apartment, she was horrified at the state you were living in, sleep was the last of your worries. Your dad kicked you out after you told him you were gay, you took what you could and found the cheapest little studio available. The paint was chipped all over, the cooker didn’t work and you were on the verge of eviction. The widow was desperate to move you into the compound, despite your discomfort at the idea. Eventually you agreed to take residence in one of the spare rooms, and surprisingly you settled in straight away. Your life fell back on track after that and you and Natasha had grown closer and stronger than ever, you even shared a room now, Natasha had to move the ring in her bedside draw to Clint’s room.

A slightly sharp corner had you stirring slightly, the assassin quick to flash you a worried glance. You settled again straight away, rolling your face into the cold window. The day you had finally told Natasha about your anxiety was a relief, you cried for hours that wednesday. Since your mother, no one had been so kind. You were so afraid she would run a mile, but she sat with you for all those hours, just holding you. Nat promised to spend every sleepless night with you, lord knows she had her own problems when it came to sleep, but you somehow found comfort in each others restless nights. Often you would take turns in reading to each other, some nights you would go for a stroll around the grounds of the compound. But your favourite form of medicine was the car. Natasha would wrap you up in her fluffy blanket and strap you snug into the passenger seat, the gentle hum and sway of the motor would eventually lull you into a slumber. It took months for your girlfriend to convince you to even try the idea, you hated it at first, what did she think you were, a baby? “I know you’re not an actual baby, but your my baby” she would say “let me take care of you” how she even thought of the plan was a mystery to you and you definitely didn’t want to admit it was working.

Natasha pulled into the 24 hour gas station, the car coming to a scratchy stop. “Mm, Tasha?” You mumbled, half asleep still. “I’m here sweetheart, I just need to get some gas” she said “would you like some snacks? Or do you wanna sleep a little longer?” Your belly rumbled right on cue “choccy biscuit” maybe you were still a baby at heart, “one pack of chocolate biscuits coming right up” the beautiful red head said, oh how you thought her locks were just gorgeous. “You’re so pretty” you whispered, eyes only half open “thank you baby” Natasha laid a kiss on your warm lips and you couldn’t stop the little squeal that escaped you. She wasn’t gone long enough for you to miss her, considering you continued to doze in her absence. You heard the familiar commotion of your girlfriend climbing back into the drivers seat, you peeled your eyes open to give her a sleepy smile “here you go sleepy bear” your favourite biscuits were deposited into your lap and you whispered a small thanks.

You contently nibbled for the 45 minute journey back to the compound, while Natasha quietly sang along to whatever trash was on the late night radio, you always thought they played the worse songs during the early hours of the morning. A quick glance at the clock told you it was 2:36am, Natasha had been driving you to sleep for over an hour, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for you. “I love you” you said, breaking the silence “I love you too y/n” Natasha replied, a bit unsure at why you were suddenly all mushy. “No” you continued “I really love you” a red light gave Nat the chance to flash you another worried look, she softened when you saw your eyes glistening back at her, and the smile engraved on your face “you’re welcome baby girl” you swear she could read your mind. With the conversation at a happy standstill you decided to close your eyes again, just for a little nap until you were home.

When you stirred again, the rough car seat had become your plush mattress and your head was laying comfortably on your pillow. It quickly became Natasha’s as she climbed into bed with you “can I have my own pillow sleepy?” She giggled “no” you sighed, carrying the sound to the end of your breath “it smells like you” you mumbled “but I’m right here?” The widow kindly shot back “oh yeah” you said, eyes still tightly shut, you still failed to roll back over though. “You’re not gonna move are you?” Natasha said, you shook your head against her arm and she didn’t hesitate to haul you up into lap, her arms wrapped tightly around your waist and your head perfectly slotted into the crook of her neck. “Sweet dreams y/n” Natasha wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep that ring locked away.

————

I wrote this when I couldn’t sleep and I almost cried

-Astara

[mynameismckenziemae]

In Case You Didn’t Know

Part 5

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OFC

Summary: Jake takes you on the date he wishes he would’ve all those years ago.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, oral (m receiving), etc.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake’s phone vibrates on his nightstand as he gets into bed.

🐓: So? Did you talk? Was I right?

Jake: Yeah we talked.

🐓: And?

Jake: …you were right.

🐓: HELL YEAH! I fucking knew it! You could cut the tension between you two with a knife. Did you…you know 😏

Jake: I want to take her out on date first.

🐓: Where are you gonna take her?

Jake: I don’t know, kind of limited with the leg. I just want it to be special.

🐓: Where did you take girls for dates in high school? Do that with her.

Jake: We’d pick up food at the local car hop, park somewhere to eat then fool around in my truck bed.

🐓: Sounds…great?

Jake: 🖕🏻there wasn’t much to do for teenagers around here back then. But honestly, I think Charlie would love it. I’d have to ask my sister for my truck back though. She takes care of it while I’m gone for me.

🐓: Emma? She’s a 10 🥵

Jake: No.

🐓: She single yet?

Jake: She’s not interested.

🐓: So she is single.

Jake: I’m going to bed.

🐓: You realize I’m going to meet her at your wedding, right? You’re just putting off the inevitable.

Jake: Goodnight Bradshaw.

Jake smirks at the thought. Bradshaw probably thinks Jake’s just being a protective older brother but it’s just the opposite. Emma looks like a sweet southern belle but she would eat him alive.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

He hesitates before biting the bullet and texting Emma; he’s always been a little scared of her.

Jake: Hey Emma Lou.

Emma: Hey! When did you make landfall? Everything go okay?

Jake: Almost 2 weeks, and not really. I was hit on the way back to the carrier and had to eject. I broke my leg and got a little beat up on the way down. I left the hospital forgetting Ma and Dad are gone so I’m staying with Charlie. They don’t know yet, please keep it that way. You know how much this trip means to them. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, my head was a little messed up and just didn’t want you to worry or take time off from that new job.

Emma: WTF!?!?? That’s fucking bullshit, Jake. I’m a large animal vet with 2 partners that are happy to cover for me. I wouldn’t have had an issue getting off of work and you know it.

Jake: I do know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight.

Emma: No shit.

Emma: Are you okay?

Jake: Getting there. Charlie’s been doing my PT, I saw ortho and that’s healing okay. I have a video visit with a therapist tomorrow.

Emma: Therapist?

Jake: Diagnosed me with PTSD after the accident. I’m feeling better already but if I don’t go to therapy they’ll ground me longer.

Emma: The Navy grounding you will be the least of your worries once Mom finds out. I’m not gonna be the one telling her.

Jake: Thanks. I really am sorry. Any chance you’re coming this way in the next few days? I need the truck if you don’t.

Emma: How are you gonna drive it? Not sure how bad you hit your head but you need 2 feet for a manual.

Jake: I’m not, Charlie’s going to.

Emma: Did she get new furniture and not tell me?

Jake: No…it’s a lot to text. I’d rather tell you in person.

Emma: I’ve got a sick heifer to see in the morning but otherwise I’m free. I’ll be there around 11. I think Lee’s got a vet call in the area around 2 so I’ll see if he’ll take me back home so you can keep the truck.

Jake: Sounds good. Love you.

Emma: I’m still mad, but I love you too.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake’s up before you and has a cup of coffee waiting as you stumble into the kitchen with a yawn.

“Don’t make plans tonight. I’ve got something in mind,” he says, leaning on his good leg before pulling you into his chest.

“Mmkay,” you yawn, snuggling into his chest like you’ve always wanted to with his hugs. “Can’t wait.”

“I told Emma last night, she’s going to come over around 11 so we can talk,” Jake cringes.

“Will she be gone by the time I get back?” You joke, all too familiar with her temper.

“Why? You scared?” He teases.

“Yes. I know you are too,” you laugh.

You let him hold you for a few minutes, both enjoying the intimacy.

“I’d ask you to join me in the shower but that’s an accident waiting to happen,” you smile, pulling away from his chest to press a kiss to his lips.

His eyes fall closed at your words. “Soon enough.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake stares at your butt in your scrubs from the porch as you walk to your car. You catch him looking as you open the door and quirk a brow at his sheepish grin.

“Can’t figure out if you’re wearing underwear, I didn’t see any panty lines.”

“You don’t get panty lines if you wear a thong,” you wink as you get in, laughing at the way his eyes widen.

You’re normally a no-show underwear kind of girl, but you felt like wearing something sexy today when Jake said he had plans.

You give him a little wave as you head to work.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake had just finished his virtual visit with the therapist when Emma pulls up in his grandpa’s old Chevy that he and his dad fixed up together.

Emma gives him a bone-crushing hug before smacking him upside the head.

“Ow,” Jake grumbles, rubbing the spot she hit him.

“You deserve a lot more than that. You’re lucky you’re injured,” Emma says before bending down to greet Cash.

“So why does Charlie need the truck?” Emma asks, throwing Cash’s ball.

“She doesn’t. I’m taking her out tonight. Well, she’s driving but I’m planning it.”

“Taking her out where? Why do you need the truck for that?”

“Ray’s and then up to Breakneck Hill,” he responds, not looking at her.

“Isn’t that where you used take your dates to park?”

“Yep.”

It takes her a minute to catch on, but she jumps to her feet with a whoop when she does.

“Seriously?!” She laughs, “Man, it’s about fucking time.”

He looks at her puzzledly.

“You’ve been in love with each other for years,” she sighs. “That’s a great idea though. I just washed ‘er so the bed is clean. Want me to throw some blankets back there for you?”

“I didn’t think that far, but yeah, that’s a good idea.”

20 minutes later, Emma’s got the back of the truck filled with blankets and pillows, a perfect place to eat and watch the sunset.

“Perfect! Now you have a place to stretch out and bang. Do you need condoms? Wait no, forget them. I’m ready to be an auntie,” Emma says as she steps back to look.

“Uh, no. We haven’t-I mean, we aren’t-“ Jake stutters, flushing bright red.

“I’m kidding, Jesus. Don’t stroke out on me. Got anything for lunch?” Emma laughs, patting Jake on the shoulder, right where he’s bruised.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Emma wraps his cast and stays nearby just in case he falls while he showers.

“Lee’s almost here,” Emma says, giving Jake another hug. “Let me know how it goes. And tell Charlie I’m not mad at her, just you.”

Jake rolls his eyes but hugs her back. “Will do. Thanks, Em, love ya.”

“Love you too, don’t forget to forget the condoms!” She replies as she heads out the door.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

You smile when you see Jake’s old truck in the driveway, wondering what he’s up to.

Jake’s asleep on the couch when you get inside, but he wakes up when you close the door.

“Oh hey, sorry I must’ve fallen asleep after Emma left,” he yawns.

“Let me change and I’ll be ready to go,” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek and slipping off your top as you walk down the hall.

Jake sgets down the stairs and hobbles along to the driver's side of the truck, awkwardly opening the door for you.

“You want me to drive? I don’t think I’ve driven it since you got too wasted to drive at Clay Williams's graduation party,” you laugh, climbing up.

“Ugh, I can’t even smell Jäegermeister without gagging,” Jake shivers as he closes the door.

You lean over and open the passenger side, taking the crutches he hands over. He surprises you with how easily manages to get in with one leg.

“Where to?” You ask, pushing in the clutch and starting the truck.

“Ray’s,” he answers with a smile.

“Then to Breakneck to fool around?” You guess, wiggling your brows.

He nods. “Only if you want to, we don’t-“

“I want to. I’ve always wanted to,” you reply, leaving out how jealous you’d get when he’d take girls out there.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

An hour later you’re sharing a chocolate milkshake in the back of the truck. It’s just the two of you in the empty lot.

“I wonder what my mom would think of us being together,” you say as you watch the sunset. The sky is a beautiful canvas of pinks, oranges, and reds.

“I think she’d like it,” he replies.

A flicker of movement catches your eye and you hold your breath when a butterfly lands on the hand that’s holding yours. It rests for just a moment, slowly flapping its orange wings before flying away.

“Me too,” you whisper.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“So what’s next? We ate our burgers, shared the milkshake, and watched the sunset. Is it a dry handjob while you rub me through my underwear for 10 seconds then ask if I came?”

“How’d you know?” He teases, leaning in for a kiss.

He kisses you slowly and lazily, committing every sigh to memory. As his tongue flicks yours you can’t help but imagine it elsewhere.

You soon grow impatient and find yourself straddling his lap again.

“Jake, touch me. Please?” You pant.

“‘Course sweetheart. Here?” He asks, pulling the top of your sundress down, exposing your braless chest to him. “Damn, Charlie,” he rasps, looking over your breasts hungrily before sucking a hardened bud into his mouth. His fingers come up to pay attention to the neglected side and he alternates; biting, sucking, and pinching you into a frenzy.

You find his free hand and bring it under your dress, running his fingers over the soaked material of your thong. He shudders when he feels the evidence of what he’s doing to you.

Before his fingers even touch you without the barrier of your underwear, you cry out, your fingers in his hair pull; your orgasm taking you both by surprise.

“Did you cum?” He chuckles breathlessly against your chest as you come down.

“I did,” you smirk, trying to catch your breath too as you climb off him, then unbuttoning his jeans. “Your turn, but I want to get my mouth on you.”

Your eyes widen as you pull him out. “Jesus. Not sure if you’ll fit, but I’m gonna try.”

“That’s not…I didn’t know that was an option-oh fuckkkk,” he gasps when you pull his tip into your mouth.

Your eyes drift closed and you moan at the salty taste of his precum. More you think as you swallow and suck more of him into your mouth, using your hands to stroke his base.

He’s making the hottest, most desperate sounds as his chest heaves. It hasn’t even been a minute before he’s warning you. “Char-Charlie, wait sweetheart. I’m gonna cum,” He pants, gently tugging at your hair to pull you off.

But you shake your head and moan; you want to taste it.

“Oh…oh God,” he whimpers as he finishes in your mouth, jolting when he feels you swallow his spend.

You pull up the top of your dress after you release it from your mouth and gently tuck him back into his jeans. He surprises you when he pulls you up for a deep kiss, groaning when he tastes himself on your tongue.

“You’re…that was…holy shit,” Jake chuckles. “So much better than a dry handjob.”

You laugh before pulling him back in for a kiss.

You’re so wrapped up in each other that you don’t notice the squad car pulling into the lot.

The smug voice of the local police officer over the megaphone has you jumping apart.

“Keep it in your pants ‘til you get home, Seresin. Don’t make me call your mama.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

A/N: First date ✅

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs.

Tagging:

@mamachasesmayhem

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

@nero4te

@eli2447

@atarmychick007

@vixenobrian

@86laura11

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@dempy

@angelbabyyy99

@buckysteveloki-me

@djs8891

@mizzzpink

@daggerspare-standingby

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay everyone, get ready for a long as hell post.

Tw, suicide attempt, suicide, suicide talk

This is my really indepth Shawn hc that is more of just straight up a story at this point

So STRAP IN!

Okay, so during the ten years, at some point Shawn is super duper depressed. He's not going well at all. He's thinking of offing himself, and he has it all planned out. But, he calls his dad first, in hopes that despite their rocky relationship his dad will talk him out of it. But, as soon as his dad picks up the phone...well, you know Henry, he assumes the worst. So Henry is already yelling at him, why are you calling, what do you need now, blah blah blah, so shawn hangs up on him without ever getting a word in edgewise, he never gets to tell him why he called, and now it's just confirmed to him that he should end it and he's feeling a little spiteful too, so he downs a bottle of painkillers, one of the ones with the candy coating, yknow? He only survives bc he didn't care to lock his apartment door and one of the random girls he's always hooking up with came by to get something she accidentally left there, he doesn't answer but the door isn't locked so she thinks she'll just slip in an get her stuff, but instead she finds shawn and gets him an ambulance. After Shawn gets better, he either manages to charisma his way into convincing the doctors that it wasn't *really* a suicide attempt and gets realesed or does his regular sneaky shit and escapes and dips town so he doesn't have to do any therapy or go to grippy sock jail.

To this day, Henry doesn't know, GUS doesn't know, NO ONE KNOWS, *shawn tells NO ONE*

And he can't take advil anymore, can't stand the candy coating.

----------

Hear me out, him accidentally letting it slip during a big argument with Henry

I'm thinking Shawn says something that alludes to what happened during the argument without out right saying it so Henry gets to be more confused than angry as Shawn realizes what he almost reveals and completely shuts down refisung to elaborate

I'm imaging that scene in modern family where Alex accidentally mentions to her dad that she did stuff she wasn't supposed to as a teen and slowly backs out of the room

-------

And I could go on a whole rant about the candy coated painkillers, and I will!

The idea of picking something that's supposed to be sweet, that is supposed to go down easier

Because that's kind of the whole point of candy coating, and Advil tastes good as hell, I don't care what anybody says

He chose something that would be sweet and go down easy for his final moments

But it ended up sickly sweet

And it still got stuck in his throat

And it burnt on the way down

He started out tasting good (there's a reason Advils child lock game is so good) but it ended up tasting awful and burning

The burn and pain contrasted with how he thought he would go out

(Maybe even a perfect metaphor for his relationship with his father too....)

The taste is stuck in his mouth forever, a taste he can never forget

The sickly sweet burn of a whole bottle of candy coated painkillers

And even just the term "Candy Coated Painkillers" feels kind of perfect for Shawn, like aiygjvifjtjejjdksndh

---

Also the fact that he never tells Gus? AUGHH hits me right in the heart

He doesn't call his mom or his best friend, he doesn't tell them, they wouldn't even know until after he was long gone

-----

Maybe Lassie finds out at some point, finally switching gears from looking for something in his criminal record to checking his medical history

Or as a favor for Juliet (thank you Sid/@obsidiancreates ) to find out the truth about a scar he won't tell her about

Lassie doesn't tell anyone, but he does switch out Juliet's stash of Advil for Tylenol, no candy coating.

Shawn finds out he knows because he gets protective of all the new suicide cases in a completely different way than before

Shawn has to tell him to tone it down before Gus starts getting suspicious

-------

And then of course, there's the major angst potential of an AU where Shawn /does/ die

Especially if told from Henry's perspective...

Especially if all of Psych is just Henry imagining what could have been if Shawn didn't die......

But that's all for now!

Enjoy, angst lovers!

[Thanks to @obsidiancreates and @mores0 for talking with me about this AT LENGTH in the Psych discord :)]

[heyitspersephone]

Thinking about stranger things again now that the strikes are over and how, narratively, it would be way, WAY cooler to have Mike get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5

It’s just something about the way Mike’s trauma is never addressed or handled in any way?? Like, he hugs his mom twice and then when he was depressed in season 2 and 4 nobody did anything (his parents scolded him for his behavior in s2 ig but that’s not support). His best friend went missing leaving from his house, he watched his body get pulled from the quarry, watched El (in his eyes) kill herself stopping the demogorgon, watched Will be possessed, saw Bob die, was in Star Court when everything went down, saw Billy die, had his best friend move away, was SHOT AT (and really too few people talk about the shooting in Cali bc omg??), buried a body, and watched the apocalypse start. And that’s just off the top of my head.

(And yes I’m aware that the other characters (especially Will) are traumatized too but I will get to my point in a second just hold on)

The plot is geared towards this idea that Will and Henry have to have some big face off (and they should, in my opinion, but I don’t think it should be in a possession, or at least not the the Vecna kind of possession, yk?) but that makes it all the better, writing wise, to have mike be the one in danger. Will was helpless and hiding in s1, I think Will should get his big strong moments in s5 where he gets to be the hero of the story.

It would just be a lot more fun to work with Mike being Vecna’d than Will, because what are we going to bring up with Will’s visions? His dad? His sexuality? The events of s1 from his perspective? It would be cool to see, for sure, but we already know most of that. Mike, on the other hand, has a number of untapped things, like jumping off the quarry, why he’s so hesitant to tell El he loves her, how someone who was smart and kind enough to take El in in s1 and come up with the spy and sauna plans in s2 and s3 could turn into the oblivious asshole that he was in s3 and s4 (he needs therapy, ik, I still love his character but I want to explore the reasons he went from his s2 characterization to his s3 one)

It would be a very interesting parallel, I think, to explore Mike’s thought processes in this way, especially with all of Mike’s repression business (bc whether you ship byler or milkvan he is repressing his feelings HARD. Like, beyond his inability to say I love you there’s the fact that he doesn’t bring up the apparent many times he called pre-s4 during the Rink O Mania fight?? That literally would’ve absolved him of guilt in that argument since he WAS reaching out to Will the whole time? Hellooooo????).

Anyways, this all brings me to my main point: Vecna targets isolation as much as he targets trauma and guilt. The whole party was traumatized by the events in s1, s2, and s3, but Max was the one targeted. Plus, Henry went for Fred, Chrissy, and Patrick (I think his name was Patrick) instead of going for the perceivably easy targets that the mcs would make (ik narratively that would’ve made it more boring but shhh), so why Max and those three specifically? They were isolated. Lucas and Erica have each other, Dustin goes to Steve and Robin, Will and El have each other and Jonathan and Joyce, Nancy probably goes to Jonathan, and who does Mike go to?

No one. And don’t say Nancy because if those two have heart to hearts then I’m the next coming of Christ. Max separated herself from the Party in the aftermath of her grief and guilt over Billy, and it feels quite obvious that Mike was doing the same (like I said, he has repression issues). So Mike is traumatized, alone, and guilty (be it Will getting taken from Mike’s house, losing El in front of him multiple times, the many deaths he has witnessed, or the internalized homophobia angle), which makes him more of a target than Will, in my opinion (or at least an easier one, especially given his tendency to put himself on the line during fights (quarry, most of s2, s3 mindflayer fight), which would set him up on the suicidal ideation path)

Furthermore, as I’ve seen a few other people point out (and I can’t find the posts but one of them had eight screenshots of the various moments), Mike is always the one getting in the way, so it would be a strategic move for Henry to target him to get him out of the picture. Mike was the one that found El and got her involved in saving Will s1, he was the one who came up with the spy plan and called out the ambush in s2, he was the one to monologue Will out of his possession s2, he was the one with the sauna plan for Billy in s3, he was the one trying to help El get the strength to fight s4 (even if the monologue sucked ass it’s the intention that counts). As much as people like to hate on Mike, he is in the leader position most of the time when the party is grouped up (barring his mental health struggles slowing that down beginning of s3 and throughout s4, but he’s still capable of it). He’s the idea man, and he’s the one whose character’s foundations were built on the desire to keep his friends safe, so it would be a very fun plot line to watch him be the one targeted in s5. Like Will said, as lovestruck and cheesy as he was, Mike is the heart of the party when he’s on his A-game, so Henry should 100% be trying to keep him in the issues he’s been struggling with.

Obviously, Will and El are the Targets with a capital T for Henry since they’re the ones that got away or whatever, but I think Mike is a weakness of Will’s (and El’s tbh but also I think they need to have separate character arcs and I don’t exactly ship milkvan) that should be exploited.

TL;DR: Mike should get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5 because it would make sense in lore and be a very cool way to resolve his character arc

[moyokeansimblr]

Moyo life update

Hey friends so yeah uhm... Well after our old man kitty Zook passed on the 4th my dad decided pretty much immediately that we'd be getting kittens because he thought we needed kitten therapy. Initially the plan was only to get 1-2 because we do still have Sophie (Zook's sister) and while she adores the pants off me she's admittedly a grouchy old lady towards everyone else so we weren't sure how she'd do with a kitten. She's also 15.5 so that's why my dad wanted more than one kitten because Sophie doesn't play much.

My brother's girlfriend knew a family that had a litter of 4 kittens and the plan was for us to take 2 so as to not overwhelm Soph. But get this: on the 4th while my mom and brother were saying goodbye to Zook at our vet... a 12 week old kitten just waltzes up to the door! One of the vet techs grabbed him and was like omg he's here for them! But the other tech wouldn't let her interrupt my mom & brother so she took him home with the plan to tell us about him when we were slightly less sad. When my mom called the vet Friday morning to settle our account she told us about him and he was ours an hour later. My brother named him Waffle (short for wunderwaffe dg2, idk spelling I don't play cod).

But we still wanted Waffle to have someone who wasn't 15 years older than him so Saturday morning we went to meet the litter of 4 kittens my brother's girlfriend's mom's friend had. It was pretty easy, two of them clearly liked us most right away. So by mid day Saturday had two more kittens. They're 8 weeks, and named Pez and Cooper. Cooper is the runt and the first thing my brother's girlfriend said when she saw him was oh my god he's so derpy. 😹 But my dad said he thinks Pez knows Cooper is a little behind and looks out for him.

So far they're all separate. Waffle has his space, Pez and Cooper have a space, and then Sophie has reign of the house. They've had a few supervised meetings that have gone well. Sophie's gave her warning hisses if they've gotten too close but otherwise has just watched them. Pez and Cooper aren't scared at all because they came from a house full of other animals but Waffle is pretty scared. He gets all poofy and growls both at Sophie and the other kittens but we don't think he's had experience with other cats since nobody knows where he came from. So we're working on him so he'll be less scared.

ANYWAYS, because I work part time and from home I am the primary cat carer. Between all the cleaning/kitten proofing, giving Sophie ample attention, and acclimating all three kittens I'm utterly brain fried. I've been trying to work on some CC but I've not been able to sit down and actually play sims at all in weeks what with how sick Zook was and now kittens. I did have a sims 2 birthday gift planned but there's no way I'll get to finish it or any of the other CC I've got in progress by that date. I really just want to play but I'm in cat mode so it's what it is. But in the meantime while I can't play I've been watching a lot of sims YouTube content instead (like sammy sundog's service area videos) so that I can still get my sims fix until whenever I get to play again.

I'll end this post with a pic of my good old girl Sophie because she's handling all of these changes pretty damn great so far. But yeah long story short basically I don't have anything sims to contribute to Tumblr right now. Hopefully soon.

[hudsuns]

✎ rating oc headcanons!

(huge thanks to @yourpenpaldee and @pixies-love-envy for the open tag! check out their posts here & here :D ++ bonus thanks to dee for the template i used, it made everything 10x easier)

RULES: use this headcanon generator to generate some headcanons for your OCs! how accurate are they?

(TAG UNDER THE CUT)

— alex

Alex chews their nails when nervous.

0/10. Alex is more likely to drum his fingers against a table or bounce his leg when nervous. He saw those pictures and videos of the long-term effects of nail-biting and it was enough to scare him into never doing so.

Alex hates being alone.

5/10. Even though he thrives when he's alone, I rated this one a 5/10 because there are times where he can't stand being alone with his thoughts—especially after Wally's passing.

Alex can't handle criticism.

9/10. Alex would tell you that he handles criticism well, but he's so obsessed with proving people wrong that criticism often leads to spiraling.

— bea

Bea is a great artist.

4/10. Bea can make sure her make-up looks good, but that's about it when it comes to art. The kids at the daycare center where she works tease her about her drawing skills, and she can't really sing, dance, or play instruments either. She's more sport-oriented.

Bea instinctively cleans messes in their own house as well as other peoples.

10/10. It took a while for Bea to accept that her home wouldn't be tidy as long as she lived with her overworked and naturally messy father. She's the kind of girl to help your mom with the dishes after dinner, take her shoes off at the door, and make your bed even if she sits on it for five minutes.

Bea cringes at their middle school yearbook photos.

0/10. Bea was homeschooled by her aunt in middle school.

— julia

Julia does intricate and expensive cosplays.

6/10. Julia doesn't cosplay, but she used to take Halloween very seriously before her brother passed away. Intricate? Yes. Expensive? No… her elaborate dance costumes are where the expenses come in.

Julia gets road rage.

0/10. She doesn't drive yet, but Julia accepted that some people are going to be stupid on the road. She's mostly excited for the freedom to go wherever she pleases whenever she pleases.

Julia is a cry baby.

8/10. As a child, Julia was teased for how much she cried in school. She doesn't cry as much in public anymore, but she knows that she needs to cry in order to process difficult moments in her life—thanks therapy! Dance is also a huge outlet for her emotions.

— pj

PJ wears Hello Kitty socks.

10/10. She stole them from Bea… then replaced them so they have matching Hello Kitty socks!

PJ has an incredible short-term memory but an awful long-term memory.

0/10. PJ has amazing short- and long-term memory. She remembers things you forgot about yourself.

PJ doesn't know how to say "no".

1/10. The only person she doesn't know how to say "no" to is Bea. If something comes up that messes up plans they'd already made, she does everything in her power to make it up to her. As for everyone else, "no" is one of her favorite words.

— wally

Wally is a horrible liar.

10/10. Wally didn't lie much because he could never get away with it. There was especially no lying to Julia.

Wally can play the piano.

10/10. And he could play it well! He took piano lessons from age three all the way to the time of his death. He loved to play for Julia's dance company's recitals.

Wally can't spell resturaunt.

0/10. My boy was a 3-time spelling bee champion. He would never let you live it down if you made a typo in a text message. He had to teach Alex how to spell appreciate.

i'll tag: @ibuprofen-exe, @mitchell-nihil, @charlies-storybook + open tag! have fun :D

teenage vows taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @fleurtygurl & @wildswrites

[box-dwelling]

So I've had this idea swimming in my head for a bit and I considered doing a fic about it but honestly I just want to do a headcanon write up for now at least. So narumitsu Franmaya post SOJ kids!

So I think after SOJ the elders in Kurain are going to start really getting on Maya's ass about having a baby. And it's getting really annoying. She been dating/married to Franziska for years at this point but I think they're solidly convinced she's having her "lesbian phase" and that once Pearl is of age and doesn't need looking after anymore and she's officially the Master of Kurain she's going to find herself a husband and settle down.

Maya fucking hates this. She wants them to properly recognise her relationship and while her relationship with the entire concept of having kids is very complicated, she doesn't want Channeling to die out so she condededs that fine, she'll have the damn kids but Franziska is being their mom.

Franziska has her own complicated ideas around legacy but is equally getting annoyed but she recognises this is important for Maya's culture and she doesn't dislike kids in general, she's been a good Tante to Trucy and while her relationship with Pearl is rocky she's thinks she's done a perfect job being her quasi step mother.

So they concoct a plan.

One day they sit Miles, Phoenix and Trucy down and say they're going to try IVF and they ask Miles to be the donor because in the absence of true male Von Karma DNA, honourary Von Karma DNA will do the job. Phoenix is completely on board because hes been listening to Maya complain about this for literal years and wants it to be over and done with for her. Trucy finds the idea hilarious because it promises to make their already insane family tree even more convoluted and she thrives in that chaos. She's also very aware that's she's presently the baby of the family and is a bit worried about her dad's empty nesting. Miles is honoured to be asked.

They do the thing. Then a few months later the Wright-Edgeworth's get a panicked phone call. Maya has just had a check up and has found out that she is pregnant with triplets. But one of them is male. 3 kids was going to be a lot anyway but there's enough people in Kurain that they can make it work. But Maya is very very aware of how weird the village is around men and really doesn't want her kid raised in that environment. And Phoenix and Miles, bleeding heart chronic adopters that they are agree that they'll raise the boy and Maya and Franziska can raise the girls in Kurain. So begins the chaos.

Miles does an insane amount of prep for the baby. He reads literally every parenting book he can get his hands on. He might as well have an honourary degree in child development after the amount of research he does. He calls up old contacts from universities he's taught at to get access to papers, he complies reading lists, he makes binders full of note, he goes completely overboard because he's going to raise this kid right. (I honestly think he did this when he first became involved in Trucy's life too but those stages of development are vastly different to that of a baby)

Franziska, does not. She is convinced she knows everything she could possibly need to in order to do this perfectly. Pearl turned out fine. These kids will too. Miles keeps sending her papers he's read and she will skim them, states that she already knew all of that and tell him he's over reacting. However she does do a good number of therapy sessions in preparation to get her head straight about what stuff Manfred did that was good and what stuff he did that was bad.

Phoenix is panicking and being way way too attentive of Maya. He's calling every few hours to make sure she's ok. Not because he's worried about the babies, though he is, but because his best friend/kid sister is carrying 3 human beings and he's terrified she's going to get hurt. He will cross the bridge of raising them when he gets there, he did fine with Trucy and he's kind of a dad by nature at this point.

Maya Hates being pregnant. She despises it. She can't do all the cool active stuff she's used to, Nick is being overbearing as well as all the other general stuff that sucks with being pregnant. She is not enjoying this and is actually kinda glad it's triplets because that means she has 2 female heirs an she never has to do this ever again. She is however also not stressing about raising them. She has some basics covered like making damn sure no one pits them against eachother and that they can chose among the pair of them who's going to inherit her title when they're good and ready. They'll need a certain level of spiritual training obviously but she's determined to give them as normal a life as possible and hopefully when they're old enough have them travel a lot with her and Franziska while Franziska is working.

This is a more complicated other headcanon but I think this is around the time Trucy starts properly coming to terms with the fact that the Gramaryes suck ass and she doesn't actually want anything to do with them. So she's kind of doing some soul searching and decides to take a gap year after school to figure out if she wants to be a magician or not by trying to define herself by something else. This gap year ends up manifesting by being an investigative assistant full time at the WAA while also trying out literally everything else she's ever had a passing interest in. She's figuring herself out during this time basically.

The babies come. Nick is incredibly overbearing during the labor. Franziska is just focusing on helping Maya through it and Miles is stressed the fuck out that this is happening and real.

And so Richard (after gumshoe), Sakura (named after the Pink Princess), and Brunhilde (named by Franziska because it means Armoured for battle which Maya thought sounded cool as hell) are born. The elders are very upset about how the names don't follow traditional fey naming convention but Maya doesn't care. She wants these kids to grow up knowing the exist outside of the village and giving Brunhilde a German name makes is even clearer that Franziska is her mother and nothing is changing that fact.

Maya and Franziska have a basically uneventful time raising the girls. The elders have been prepared for this for years. Maya goes by Mom/Mommy, Fran goes by Mama. As they planned they take them all over the globe with Frans work with Interpol. Maya gets to call it a holiday regularly and fobs off the elders by saying that they'll be better trained by being more worldly. She'll look after the kids as Fran works and when they go back to Kurain they switch and Fran will take cases in the japanifonia prosecutors office when the elders want to train them. They're a well oiled machine. Brunhilde ends up taking more after Fran and Sakura takes more after Miles. Brunhilde is actually really good at channeling but decides to let Sakura take the title because she enjoys it more. The elders are actually pretty glad about this because Brunhilde is absolutely terrifying. She got the Edgeworth glare which combined with supernatural powers makes her seem like something out of the Omen. Franziska and Maya couldn't be more proud. Sakura is a little more mild mannered but given her parents it's not by much. She's still a forceful presence but she's just typically a lot more easy going. She is genuinely passionate as hell about Channeling, she got Maya and Miles' autism and it's becomes her special interest. She's studious and devoted and really cares about what she does. She ends up doing a ton to revolutionise channeling when she becomes master and basically brings it into a new golden age. The two of them are close and their parents make certain to makes sure there's absolutely no bad blood there.

Miles and Phoenix have a slightly more chaotic time raising Richard. They're both workaholics and also running major legal bodies so figuring out how to make time to raise a baby amongst that is difficult.

They start with Phoenix taking paternity leave and calling in to talk with Athena. Trucy at this point is still in her final year so the office is quiet as hell and Athena HATES it. She needs a busy environment and being alone in the office is driving her mad.

So that last like a month before they just decide to baby proof the WAA and have Phoenix look after Richard while he's there. Athena likes babies (like come on, she does) but the crying is difficult on her ears so Phoenix gets her some very strong noise cancelling headphones and the pair of them come up with an insane series of methods of non verbally communicating. Phoenix and Athena barely have a braincell of common sense between them so they end up with various whiteboards all over the office to write stuff on and a nerf gun each to get each others attention.

One Apollo's first return visit from Kura'in with this as the new status quo Richard nearly chokes on a dart and he asks why they didn't just both learn ASL to which Athena and Phoenix both look at each other because the sensible solutions never even occurred to them. They learn ASL after that.

The first time they have to investigate a case Phoenix just straps up with a dad harness and takes the baby to the crime scene. This goes predictably poorly. Richard won't stop crying while they're talking to witnesses and Athena has to put on her head phones which means Phoenix has to write down everything the witness says to show her but his handwriting is terrible and he can't spell when writing so quickly so Athena keeps misunderstanding what's been said. Richard throws up on some evidence. They then get threatened by some goons which when Phoenix reports back to Miles about his day nearly gives him a heart attack.

After that one of 3 things happens. If Trucy is free, she'll either babysit her kid brother or investigate with Athena, if she isn't and Miles is free/just doing work in his office, they'll drop Richard off with him for the day where Miles has baby supplies ready. If neither of them are free, Phoenix will stay in the office and look after Richard while Athena has him on face time. That being said I'd give it 3 years before that kid's back to being dragged along to crime scenes. It's the Wright kid way.

I feel like the courthouse probably has a day care so they drop him off there during trials

When Richard is in Miles office is comparatively calm compared with the WAA. Klavier comes in to coo and sing him lullabies. Taka will sometimes take vigilant watch when he's sleeping. Simon will on occasion ask about his psychological development. But it's a lot more sane. When he's a bit older I'm reasonably certain that Simon will let him play with his katana at least once but other than that its fine.

Despite this Richard grows up to be basically fine. Weird girl energy as comes with the territory but they try to make sure he's has as normal a childhood as possible. He takes after Maya a lot which is either a biological thing or just kind of what happens when a considerable chunk of your devolpment is done in a WAA that is lacking Apollo. Miles is keeping a detailed track on all his development milestones and he's pretty far ahead but reasonably so. He's smart but he's not a Prodigy which they take to mean basically healthy. If and when he ever does struggle with something they're very good about telling him that's ok and that helping him improve while also making sure he knows it's not a moral failing to struggle. He's aware that Brunhilde and Sakura are his siblings but it's explained more as 3 kids being a lot to handle rather than the stuff about Kurain being weird. He sees them both regularly and all 4 of them love all 3 kids to pieces.

In terms of appearance as they get older, I think Richard has Maya's round soft features but Miles' grey hair and eye colour. Brunhilde is kind of the opposite, she's got the dark hair and piercing blue eyes but the sharp Edgeworth features. She also got his shitty eye sight and has glasses from a very young age. Sakura has grey narrowed eyes but round cheeks and dark hair.

[italiansteebie]

Babe, with the most kindness I can muster, I need to see more Steve with a prosthetic leg!!! 🫶

I only saw the beginning of this and got so scared that someone was telling me i got something horribly wrong or something, or that it was complete shit, BUT I AM SO RELIEVED THIS IS NOT THAT

here you go babes, some prosthetic!steve hc's

- when he gets a new socket (the part that holds his leg) he gets the party and family to draw little guys on it BEFORE they put the outer shell on, that way the drawings are protected

- he's got insanely good balance

- when the socket rubs his leg raw, bc they can do that sometimes, hes really good at hoping place to place on one leg even though it scares the shit out of everyone else

- fresh amputee baby steve cried for hours and hours bc his mom said that it ruined her perfect boy and he was so scared that she didn't love her anymore.

Drabble:

(different universe than the one i just posted)

robin was spending the night at steve's house. they were best friends, and it was their first sleep over, and robin couldn't tell you how excited she was.

she didn't get to have these when she was younger, the other girls deeming her too weird to be invited. she had it all planned out!

they built a fort, ordered pizza, watched movies, and even talked about girls together! and maybe steve talked about boys too... who knows?

it had gone so well, it was going so well.

until they were getting ready for bed, and a thump came from the bathroom.

and then "uhhh. rob? could you... i need help." steve's voice floated through the door, it was hesitant. she put her hand on the handle, "wait!" he said, "uh. before you come in, i. well."

oh shit.

this was the part where he kicked her out, says he isn't comfortable with a lesbo in his bedroom, oh god, she was freaking out, she- "maybe it better if you just come in here..." steve voice cut through her panic. why did he sound nervous? he was the one kicking her out!

but she opened the door and there was steve sitting on the tile floor. "what?"

steve blanched, "i um. i need help standing. i..." he murmured something she didn't catch. "what? why do you need help standing up steve just get-" she paused the motion of bending down when she noticed it.

"where the fuck is your other leg?"

and steve just... breaks, he's laughing so hard that there are tears coming out of his eyes. "that was so much better than any other reaction i've gotten." he's still laughing, and he's clapping now. robins only a little embarrassed, and she thinks he looks like a seal.

"sorry, sorry. just- whew. that was great. i uh- i lost my leg when i was 10. tore it up in a car accident. so there it goes! no more leg. uh. can you help me stand up now?"

and she's still a little shocked. so she silently helps him to his bed, grabbing his prosthetic out of the bathroom where it had fallen and places it next to the bed wordlessly.

she sits on the edge of the bed.

"did i ruin it? is... am i too weird?"

and that breaks robin out of her thoughts, "what?! no way. sorry, sorry, i was just thinking. i never... pegged you as- well. you always just looked so. normal." she says nervously.

"well. yeah, uh. here comes another sad steve fact!" he sing songs before continuing, "my parents really wanted me to remain as normal as possible after the accident so it was a lot of physical therapy... and a lot of emotional therapy... and yeah! they couldn't have me losing a leg effect their whole 'perfect harringtons' image."

"oh. steve..."

"it's okay! really. because now i've got you, and dustin! and even like... mike. so. yeah."

"i mean. missing a leg is pretty cool."

"rob..."

"no really! it seems kinda like... spooky. but in a good way! imagine the pranks you could do!"

and what started out as a sad confessional, turned into an excited prank planning session.

[despazito]

like i have such conflicting feelings about the pathologizing of mental illness nowadays and the culture it creates. i think the need to have ones dx, at least in my case, was driven by a fundamental urge for validation that what i’m feeling isn't just a phase or something that will sort itself out. i think women especially have had our pain and struggles so minimized, i had lows wishing i just had a broken leg so others could at least see my pain. i clung to my dx and feet like waving it to the world shouting its not just in my head!! i’m not just lazy!!

in some ways getting the dx is like getting a pedigree for your fucked up brain. like this isnt some backyard bred tiktok adhd, this is PUREBRED adhd with the papers to prove it!!! all these women like myself who were looking for a voice and affirmation through dx to prove they “aren’t just one of those girls who’s too sensitive and googled their symptoms”, but now that’s also created its own trope of “overdiagnosed girl in her 20s” and there’s a whole new stereotype to mock and invalidate. there’s just no winning, it really feels like our pain will never get taken seriously by society to matter which route we take to get heard we are dismissed.

but of course these slips of paper become vital if you need any assistance or accommodations, so they are incredibly beneficial to have.

my issue is the more i reflect, the more i do feel like many emotional disturbances or brain funkiness ESPECIALLY depression and anxiety are the result of, or at least become more aggravated, by unluckiness in your childhood relationships and the narrative we created about it. turns out you don’t need to be textbook abused to have adverse experiences, and a failure to have a healthy secure relationship to your primary caregiver fucks with you for life but nobody wants to talk about that. i do think we live in a society here in canada where parental rights to parent how their want is overstepping on the child’s right to have the healthiest possible environment to be raised in. i had spent years reading about the lifelong effects of parental deprivation or bad socialization in dogs and parrots before reading about it in humans, and i think we forget how much humans are also animals.

but the thing is you can work on relationships, you can begin to process trauma. when i tell myself “i’m a person with anxiety” it feels really loaded with a sense of finality that i will always live this way.. the more i use that language the more futile it feels about ever improving, when so often depression and anxiety are the result of deeper unresolved issues. I see so many people with phobias or fears resign to living painful lives than trying to work on any exposure or processing their fears. i’d still be miserable if i never worked through my intense fears of intimacy, i was perfectly resigned to a life of being alone and thought i was content with that.

turns out growing up with trauma can cause the same unfocused and disorganized presentation as clinical adhd.i’ll admit i didn’t like learning that one, as adhd already has so many deniers my kneejerk response was anger at my adhd being invalidated. but i think a lot of adhd people fall somewhere in between that venn diagram, and rejecting a traumagenic theory for some people’s symptoms means they will be prescribed the wrong treatment plan. and this is why all treatment plans put emphasis on talk therapy just as much as pharmacological intervention.

obviously some things aren’t the result of your childhood! your mom yelling at you doesn’t cause autism, but chances are if you’re autistic and had cruddy support you’ll face more adversities and mental health struggles than a good supportive environment. similarly, you could’ve grown up with all the love and support to thrive but one day your thyroid decides it’s time to make you feel like roadkill.

idk, what i’m trying to say is don’t corner yourself or resign from living life because of your mental health dx or think that you’ll never get better because you “have” this, chances are there’s always room to feel better. the most hurtful thing is our inner voice if it’s internalized negative language, and there’s exercises you can practice to drill more positive or at least neutral nonjudgemental language into your inner critic. because even if you have something that will never be cured, the way we talk to ourselves about it is a variable we have some power over.

the narrative part experiencing trauma is uniquely human. some people will experience horrible things and internalize the negativity or self blame, but resilient people have better prognosis because they have ability to frame things in a narrative that don’t assign self blame, and critiques the behaviour instead of the self. because so many complications and struggles arise out of kicking ourselves when we’re down. but the thing is this usually can’t happen on its own, we need to see this modeled by the people around us. but thankfully if we missed the boat, we CAN retrain that voice

anyway that’s my musings from my perspective. for anyone curious here’s a lecture that really resonated with me, its got some hard hitting truths i didn’t want to hear but sometimes you gotta hear things that make you uncomfortable

[hikaritakaishi]

Grief (Yamato & Takeru)

Disclaimer: This is a small piece of work that I wrote for the Takari Week that I could not post, but that I really enjoyed writing, so I decided to share! I love the family dynamics that we have in Digimon and everything about these two siblings’ relationship!  Enjoy!

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“Dad as always is going to come home late.” Yamato said while putting a hand full of spaghetti pasta into the boiling water pot. “Is mom home?”

“I think by now she is. But she must be locked in the office writing some article for the newspapers. You know, the usual.”

“Those two have more in common than they would ever admit.”

“I guess you have a point.”

Takeru took a sip from the tin the Coca-Cola Yamato had given to him. “Maybe that is the reason why they are no longer together; they are too similar to stand each other.”

“It can be.” Yamato laughed a bit. “I am very proud of you for being able to talk about it so openly now. Not a long time ago you would dismiss the topic and pretend you didn’t hear my comment.”

“I’ve been making some progress. As time passed, I think I just accepted the fact that some things would never change, and I have been trying my best to heal from it the best way I can. Writing my feelings down help a lot.”  

“I understand.” Yamato bent down and took out of a wood drawer a jar with the word 塩 (salt) written in hand, and another with the word 黒胡椒 (black pepper). “Your therapy is writing, mine is creating music. I would never admit it to them, but some songs I have wrote are inspired by them.”

“There is beauty in transforming pain into art. At least their story can be signified as such.”

“Exactly. You thought that line yourself?”

“I have been practicing.” Takeru smiled shyly noticing how Yamato observed his sentence.

“I can tell.” Yamato carefully put a pinch of salt and black pepper in the pot where the pasta was boiling. “You said you wanted to talk about something on the phone. What could it be?”

“Oh…that. Well, I think I may need some… dating advice.” Takeru said and felt a sudden urge to hide himself under the table out of shyness.

“What?” Yamato turned around quickly to face his brother with his mouth wide open. He was still holding the jars.” Who is it?”

“Ah…” Takeru looked away and started to tap his hand on the table insecurely. “Do you think Taichi is the jealous type of brother… or would he be ok if I…?”

“Taichi? No way!” Yamato quickly pulled the chair next to him and noisily sat down in front of Takeru. “There is no way you are dating Hikari!”

“Theoretically, I am not…Yet. I invited her for a date on Saturday… and she said yes.”

“I see…” Yamato was speechless. “I mean, congratulations! How… did that happened?

“It is a very long story. But the thing is, I have never been on a date before, I am kind of nervous. I don’t exactly know what to do, how to plan… “

“You never asked a girl out?”  Yamato interrupted him.

“If I never told you, it's because it never happened.”

“Make sense.”

Yamato let the idea sink into his mind. Not that it wasn't something he had already imagined, or even discussed with Taichi himself. But they always joked about it, he was not prepared to face it in real life.

“So…” Takeru broke the silence. “You are going to help me…?”

 “Let me… finish dinner first. A few minutes and I can answer you. Now I am too busy being surprised.” Yamato stood up and went turning off the pan.

Takeru rolled his eyes and kept drinking the Coca-Cola.

Yamato finished cooking in few minutes and served it, making slight jokes about the topic they were discussing before.

They expressed the typicalいただきます(itadakimasu) before anything else.

“Now that I am calmer.” Yamato started trying to look as serious as he could. “What happened? And please hide unnecessary details I don’t want to know.”

Takeru laughed at this and took a few seconds to summarize everything that have happened on this mind. It was still fresh and some things he would admit did not have processed yet. But one thing he was certain of: He could not be happier.

 “You know, I have been receiving love letters from girls at school, and many of them confessed to me. I think I told you about this already.”

“Yes, I remember.” Yamato took the chopsticks and divided them, listening attentively.

“In the quickest way I can summarize this, another one was too much for us to keep pretending we did not care about it. Hikari distanced herself and it was unbearable for me. I knew it was hurting her, and we talked about it after class. And we kissed. I mean, I kissed her.”

“Basically, we two just needed a good excuse to stop playing dumb about how you feel about each other.”

“I can confirm that.” Takeru followed his brother in the previous act. Divided his chopstick as well.

“Well, I don’t think you need to do something incredibly complicated for your first date Takeru, really. Your friendship with her naturally evolved into love and I think you should keep things as light as possible. Without pressure, you know her since you were eight, just trust yourself and your feelings.”

“Oh wow, I never expected to hear it from you.” Takeru seemed kind of surprised.

“I know, I know. But after several years in a relationship, you start to think about things differently.”

“I can see it.”

“Just take care of her and your relationship properly. Everything will be ok.”

“I… don’t want to commit the same mistakes mom and dad committed you know.”

“They are a good example of not taking care of a relationship properly.” Yamato said with as much sincerity as he could. “Dad was never at home, and mom needed to work and take care of us alone most of the time. He was always too busy working. And she needed support. Not financially, but all the other kinds, and dad just let it go. They had a very deficient communication. All I can remember were they screaming their problems at each other, frustrated and confused.”

“I remember that too. And for some reason, I remember blaming myself for it, most of the time. I think dad never expected mom to actually… leave.”

“I felt that as well. I blamed myself not just for the screaming, but for the divorce. Mom just couldn’t take that anymore.”

“I don’t want to… be like them.”

“We are not our parents, Takeru.” Yamato smiled at him, reminding the time he started to date Sora, when he had the same mental dilemma Takeru was having.” We were there, we know what happened, and we have the tools to do differently. “

“I know.”

Takeru smiled sadly, trying to remove those dark days from the focus of his present-day memory. At least he knew that Yamato understood him and these waves of old grief feelings. It didn’t matter what happened in the past, if he now got the tools to create a better future. Yamato was right, he needed to trust his feelings, and trust Hikari. Trust that they were able to create a relationship with a solid base of love and respect. He was the one in charge of creating his own fate, and he chose her to be his other side of the mirror.