#i was trying to stick to physical actions that made sense with his personality and the prompt but still ;;;;;

[tvrningout-a]

dance, sender sticks a hand out to receiver and invites them to dance. // for chiyo, from rayo! ♥

actions speak louder than words | @metrictita's rayo dances with chiyo!

they've only just finished cleaning up what was left of breakfast, the last beats of " i love my body " filling the air as chiyo dries the last mug. were lyrics sung with the utmost passion? yes, of course! were butts bumped? obviously! and the grin upon chiyo's face only grows wider as a gentle voice filters through her phone's speakers.

now in its place is something new, she sings along, meeting rayo's eyes with a finger pointed right at him. oh, she feels so cheesy. i hear it when i look at you.

the implication of what she's singing along to registers a moment too late; she tries to carry on with a small laugh, and " you need to listen to this guy, rayo! he's cured my writer's block before. " yet as chiyo puts away their mugs and hangs her towel to dry, she spies rayo's hand outstretched to her, just waiting for her to take it.

chiyo hesitates. she's not much of a dancer -- the butt bumping from earlier is about as advanced as she gets -- and she doesn't trust herself anymore. she doesn't trust her heart to not have some weird, fluttering reaction ( she doesn't understand how that can happen, how her heart can yearn for more than one person at a time. it's scary, makes her feel as if she's becoming greedy. she shouldn't take his hand. she shouldn't. ).

rayo smiles, calls her that pet name she finds really cute ( yet has never said so ). the instrumental softly swells as if to spur her on, and ah, what's the harm? chiyo places her hand in rayo's ( she shouldn't take his hand, but she can't help herself. she really can't. ).

her fellow artist pulls her closer and into a twirl that has her dizzy and laughing in no time at all. it's almost enough to stop chiyo from noticing how warm rayo's palm is on her waist as they sway side to side, or how very romantic the song really is. when he dips her and she nearly falls from being too dramatic about it, she almost forgets how much she likes being close enough to smell the different notes of his cologne and the lingering scent of cigarettes. they laugh together, and it's almost possible to believe they're just friends being goofy.

they are just friends being goofy. but chiyo knows there's more to it than that, too. she knows it, and she's trying so hard to ignore it because that's the only way she knows to get through it.

again, the music swells, bigger and fuller and brighter until it's bursting ( and how perfect a sound, how it tells the feeling of a heart bursting in a way words never can ). chiyo grins as she spins back into rayo's space. " you took my broken mel-- oh! "

as the singer's voice echoes in the kitchen, rayo lifts her up and spins, arms securely wrapped around her as he laughs at her surprise. she's thrown her arms around his shoulders immediately, butterflies erupting in her stomach, but it's over as quickly as the song is. her feet are back on the ground, she's looking up at that smile again, and chiyo's trying really hard to remind herself that they're... they can't be anything more than friends. it doesn't matter that it feels right to be standing chest to chest, nor does it matter that few others can get her to dance with such little effort. this can't become " something new. "

she likes niko. he knows that -- chiyo's pretty sure all of them know that by now, as mortifying as that is. so it isn't fair that she's doing this right now. it isn't fair that she's slowly but surely growing more and more attached to all three of them, wondering what it would be like if by some impossible stroke of luck, they all liked each other. it isn't fair to them, and it isn't fair to herself, either. she's just complicating things needlessly.

so chiyo takes a step back.

" ya coulda warned me you were gonna do that, " she says, smile upon her lips and a storm brewing in her chest. she thinks she manages to act pretty normal, all things considered... save for gracelessly knocking into the kitchen table as she turns to leave. nice. " now, c'mon! we gotta leave soon if we wanna see the sea lions, and i really wanna see those cuties. "

[makeste]

hey guys, so I’ve finished reading BnHA 342 which was a delight to read, but my reaction post is very, very long and will take some time to edit, so in the meantime I’ve decided to make a separate post just to talk about this one character interaction which I am absolutely obsessed with!

let’s see how long of an analysis I can make about this ONE, SINGLE JOKING REMARK THAT KACCHAN MADE COMPLETELY OFFHANDEDLY.

1. so first off, let’s just cut straight to the heart of the matter: this. is. friendship. no more denial. no more HAH, NO WAY, OF COURSE WE AREN’T FRIENDS NOW WALK BEHIND ME!!! the Kacchan who was too embarrassed and too chuuni to admit that he was friends with Shouto died at Jakku. and the Kacchan who’s been running the show ever since then is someone who openly worries about Shouto (asking about him immediately after waking up in the hospital), unabashedly provides him with emotional support (hand on the shoulder when class 1-A confronted Endeavor), and hangs out with him in his room because he doesn’t want Shouto to be going through all this shit alone.

2. speaking as someone whose own #1 love language is using humor to try and relax people and make them feel comfortable and safe and welcomed and at ease, the fact that Katsuki used a joke as his chosen method of support here brought me SO MUCH JOY I can barely even begin to express it. and it’s not even the first time he’s done this! never forget that one time after Kamino where class 1-A was all bummed after Aizawa told them off for coming to save him, and so he grabbed Kaminari and dragged him into the bushes and made him activate his derp mode in order to ease the tension! and also to distract them so he could quietly pay Kirishima back for the night vision goggles, because that is his OTHER love language (cold hard cash!! nah lol I’m referring to the act of physically, tangibly paying him back; showing his gratitude not just with words but with actions), but yeah. 

my point is, for someone who always seems to be so angry and serious, Kacchan has a sharp sense of humor that he apparently just keeps tucked away under wraps, and dusts off only for rare special occasions like these, and I absolutely LOVE it and I need it to happen WAY MORE OFTEN. there is a very real possibility of me making a compilation post of every single time Kacchan has made a joke and/or actually laughed about something, just because I’m that desperate to know more about this expertly dry wit of his now.

3. getting back to his friendship with Shouto, this next talking point is the one that’s already been done to death (because you know I went and looked up all those 342 tumblr reactions and metas after I read this chapter because I needed to soak up that analysis asap), but nonetheless this post would not be complete without it! so this is very obviously a commentary on the fact that Shouto’s favorite food is cold soba! a fact which is known to every single citizen of the world! in fact this joke even takes that last part into account, since it relies on that fact being common knowledge in order to stick the landing! in a way it’s partially a friendly little dig at Shouto for making his favorite food such an important part of his personality! like, “hmm, so what would be the worst case scenario for Touya. well obviously it would be him liking something other than soba, since we all know that’s a deal-breaker.” basically this joke derives a good 60% of its humor from the fact that Shouto just loves soba THAT damn much. and Kacchan is obviously WELL aware of this fact because, as we all know, he and Shouto are actually best friends.

4. quick side note, this is also a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it callback to chapter 164, which featured this hilarious interchange between Shouto and his OTHER best friend.

thus adding the additional meta layer that Shouto actually does canonically consider people who like udon to be FUNDAMENTALLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH HIM AS PEOPLE lmao. and Katsuki knows this because he was listening in on that whole conversation and bitching about the two of them being total weirdos! but ALSO he was apparently filing notes away in the back of his big hero brain because he loves Todo actually, so yeah. love it when a scene in a newer chapter retroactively makes a scene from an old chapter even better.

5. lest you worry that Kacchan is back to his OLD VILLAINOUS BULLYING WAYS by poking fun at poor sweet innocent Shouto here, let’s now talk about the ways in which this joke is also a sick burn on Touya! because that of course is the other 40% of the joke! if Shouto’s favorite food is soba, then OBVIOUSLY Touya’s favorite food is going to be the complete opposite of that, because Touya is the worst! just the absolute worst. man fuck that guy!

so there are a couple of additional layers to this part. the first is that Katsuki is very much aware of the delicate balance that needs to be struck here. because he genuinely, unironically DOES know Shouto pretty damn well by now, and so he understands how conflicted Shouto is about his brother. and because he’s a good friend, he’s supportive of Shouto’s desire to somehow redeem Touya if at all possible. and so instead of going all in on how Touya is a founding member of the final villains club WHO BRAGGED ABOUT KILLING THIRTY PEOPLE and who also KIDNAPPED HIM THAT ONE TIME, the worst thing that Kacchan accuses him of here is... having a different favorite food than Shouto. this is basically the gentlest, mildest “fuck that guy” that anyone could have possibly given here.

and then the second bonus layer is that Katsuki is very clearly taking Shouto’s side here. that’s the only possible way for this joke to land. the humor works because Katsuki takes the mundane accusation of liking hot udon, and twists it into a sick fucking burn, because ONLY AN UNHINGED LUNATIC WOULD DARE TO LIKE SUCH A COMPLETELY OPPOSITE FOOD FROM COLD SOBA, THE BELOVED FAVORITE FOOD OF TODOROKI SHOUTO. in other words, if you don’t like Todoroki Shouto’s favorite food, then FUCK YOU! Team Soba all the way! so yeah, it has that connotation too, which is actually very sweet.

6. last but not least, I just want to take a moment to gush about how this was all just perfectly executed and timed. Shouto sets him up for it, and Kacchan pounces on the opportunity without hesitation and delivers the perfect response, which immediately relieves some of the quiet tension in the room, and honest to god actually makes Shouto laugh.

sort of! that was a chuckle at least! it counts!! anyways the point is, Katsuki read the room perfectly and understood that Shouto was trying to lighten the mood and didn’t want to have a heavy conversation about all of his feelings right now (which is something that Katsuki understands very well), so he followed Shouto’s lead and met him at that level, while still managing to communicate (1) “I know how conflicted you are about all of this”, (2) “I’ve got your back”, and most importantly, (3) “we are friends, and I care about you and support you in all things, you big soba loving freak.” it’s affectionate, it’s heartwarming, and it’s genuinely funny as hell.

anyway so yeah, that’s my RIDICULOUSLY, UNJUSTIFIABLY LONG post about what has instantly become one of my all time favorite little throwaway BnHA moments, right up there with the legendary “hey Kacchan!” scene. Kacchan being friends with people. Shouto getting some much-deserved love. Iida and Kirishima being there too, and presumably smiling and taking notes and maybe one day they can tell their children about this. that’s what it’s all about folks.

[ro-rogue]

i have very mixed feelings about the new bostin confrontation that got john expelled.

it is portrayed as the worst of john's actions in new bostin, his lowest, most violent moment. and while that last part is not untrue, i feel like the confrontation is a lot more complicated than just john going insane.

by that point, john had already been king for a little while, and he was absolutely terrible at it. (i've written before on why i think that is, and even his objectively horrible actions here were not excusable but understandable.) claire decided he needed to be stopped, and she gathered a bunch of their schoolmates to confront him, as her vision had shown. then, instead of trying to talk it out, zirian (one of the people she had gathered, for some reason) immediately attacked john, and everything devolved from there.

now, a few things stick out to me here:

first of all, claire took zirian with her to confront john. the question is: why? john and zirian had already fought on multiple occassions, and last time they fought, john had beaten zirian. did claire think seeing someone john defeated in a fair fight would make him realize he was a horrible person? did she think that if people saw zirian, they too would be willing to confront john? but wouldn't those people then think they were going to beat john up? did she not realize that if people believed her lie enough to follow her, they would be prepared to act on it too? i really struggle with her thought process here.

next, zirian thought that they could beat john if they all worked together. this supports my theory that the kids in new bostin had absolutely no idea how powerful a god-tier was. the wellston kids would never try to gang up like that on pre-ability loss seraphina - they knew she was too strong.

however, they did gang up on john at least sixteen-to-one (in episode 185, the shot with the most classmates shows sixteen people). when claire was telling the story to seraphina, she made it sound like it was completely unreasonable that john assumed that a group of people who all hated him, at least some of whom he had fought before, including the former king, would want to attack and overthrow him. "he refused to listen" is true, and something john has struggled with a lot both before and after the ambush, but to be honest, in his shoes, i also wouldn't have believed claire.

moreover, he is criticized for going too far in beating them up, but imo that mostly applies to claire and adrion, who weren't actually attacking him. the other fifteen kids were very clearly willing to hurt him just as much as he ended up hurting them. besides, they were attacking him fifteen-to-one, with claire standing to the side - what was john supposed to do? hold back?

the answer, of course, is yes: he should've. it was absolutely not right for him to go that far. but we must understand that john was sixteen, stressed, hurt, and facing people who were likely his former bullies, in the sense that everyone used to bully him.

(plus claire, who gathered everyone there, and how was he supposed to know that she didn't mean for it to turn out like that? and plus adrion, who called the authorities on him, which was objectively a good decision, but it can be hard to see it that way when you're the one who the cops are being called on)

in addition to that, if seraphina or even arlo had been ganged up on like that, no one would be surprised if they, too, fucked up their opponents. (remember that turf war back in episode 17/18/something? where arlo clearly wasn't just going to stop hurting rein, not until seraphina physically stopped him?) john was out of control and very much Not Okay, but his handling of the ambush actually seems to be quite typical for a god-tier.

so to conclude, the new bostin ambush/confrontation was more complex than simply john going crazy, and while both he and claire definitely think that he is the only one at fault there and he acted completely irrationally, that isn't actually the case, and uno readers should be aware that we are viewing the story from the perspectives of biased and thus unreliable narrators.

[lover-of-mine]

I had a theory I wanted to share but bear with me while I get to it.

Thinking about how now we know for sure Eddie & Marisol are actually having sex regularly got me thinking about how Eddie & Shannon's problem was never their sex life and wondering how/if that plays into Eddie being with Marisol? Because we know things never seemed to click with Ana both emotionally and physically but they are clicking physically with Marisol up until the whole nun thing after which Eddie seemed to be like "well I guess we'll break up now" but didn't seem too devastated by it? If anything he felt more like someone in the beginning of relationship not someone after months of dating & then moving in together. Which of course they decided to slow that because he realized they were going too fast but he said he really wants this time to work out but I'm not seeing a convincing reason why? They're friendly sure & having good sex I guess but what's their emotional connection? How close actually are they? I'm having a hard time understanding it. But this is only his like 3rd ever relationship right? He doesn't have a lot to compare it to & so maybe because he clicked in a way he didn't with Ana that maybe reminds him of what he had with Shannon? Except he & Shannon were best friends, they had a deep emotional connection in addition to a pretty good sex life. So I don't know but maybe Eddie is thinking they needed to move in because it would help them get closer and now maybe they need more time or something? We know he hates dating and feeling like he needs to perform so maybe it's like this is the first woman since Shannon he's able to/enjoys sleeping with so he figures that must mean something more? And I love the idea of he's never considered men being an option before and him now starting on that journey or realizing he did like men or at least Buck and he's now realizing Buck could be an option, like any of those theories and then realizing maybe what he's actually missing in his relationship with Marisol he already has with Buck and realizing he can also have that good sexual part of it (not that he has to but it does seem important to him) too. Because for all of the problems that he & Shannon had they did love and care about each other. I like to think if she'd lived they would have still gotten divorced & actually settled into a solid friendship with each other. But that's neither here nor there.

Is this a crazy stretch? Maybe. I'm just trying to make sense of it all. And I'm a Buddie girlie at heart always so it makes me feel more hopeful.

No, I'm actually with you here. I think Ana was just the first person he thought he could latch onto back then, and she was pretty and nice and Chris liked her, so he thought he could learn to love her eventually. I mean the show does imply that eddieana had sex. I know we like to joke they didn't, but the show very much does imply that with the "you really like to dress me up" "and the other thing" comment at the store before the first panic attack. But they weren't clicking emotionally and we didn't see them connect physically, so Eddie was just "sticking it out". Shannon, the sex worked and I did know how to talk, I don't think you can fight the way they did if you don't know each other. Shannon knew exactly how to disarm Eddie. How to say the thing that would get him questioning his actions. So even if we didn't get to see a lot of moments in their marriage where they were just happy, we know they had good sex and we know they knew how to talk. With Marisol he seems to be connecting with her physically, but he can't seem to connect with her emotionally, because we don't know anything about Marisol because the impression they are giving is that Eddie doesn't know a lot about her. He could have thought that the shock of moving in would bring them closer and then make the relationship better, there is an argument to be made there. And like, he says he really likes her but his brain went to the break up route and he didn't seem that devastated about it. It is canon information that this is Eddie's 3rd relationship, assumed 3rd person he slept with. So he doesn't have a lot of reference points. Which is why he keeps chasing Shannon. But I also think that enough pent up sexual energy can make people see more in a relationship than there actually is, good sex doesn't equal a good relationship (just look at Buck and Taylor and the way they had the chemistry but lacked everything else). But Shannon worked because they had both the friendship and the chemistry. If Shannon was still alive I think they would very much learn to be friends for Chris' sake and eventually settle back into the friendship and figure out who they are together while better equipped to handle what's being thrown at them. But he's lacking the communication aspect of a good relationship with Marisol. He doesn't have the friendship. He does have the friendship with Buck though. And I guess having sex with men in general never occurred to him (but as a demisexual Eddie believer I think sex is not something he worries about a lot unless it's actively creating problems in his life like in merry exmas and you don't know me, both episodes who contain the two sex scenes that lead to problems in the relationship, and it is an interesting way to create problems on Eddie's relationship by calling back to that conflict with Shannon that eventually led Eddie to let Shannon back in but literally led to him kicking Marisol out, also interesting that he sneaks Shannon out of the house and leaves Marisol alone in it) so he never thought about having sex with Buck specifically, but I don't see how Eddie could go "oh maybe I want to have sex with men?" and not instantly attach that to Buck too, because he's Buck. Considering the way I don't think Eddie knows how to qualify who Buck is to him, but does have Buck stored away as the person he trusts the most, I think that attraction to men would instantly attach to the safest person, and that's Buck.

But the question is how they are gonna handle his sexuality. I don't know if they are ever gonna explicitly label him, or Buck for they matter, on the show, but on a meta level Buck is being thought of as bisexual and they are adding to the pieces that are already there to make Buck a bisexual man. I have no idea where Eddie's sexuality is going. I can give you an argument for that man to be demisexual and/or demiromantic with the last episode. The fact that he didn't know that aspect of her killed his boner and his excitement with the relationship. So much so he had to go back to the getting to know her step. But is the show ballsy enough to have a character like Eddie be demisexual? Are they ballzy enough to make the womanizer bi and the single father ace? I don't know. Probably not. I think Eddie has a complicated relationship with sex. Is it the religious trauma? Is the demisexuality? Is it both? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I also think that that complicated relationship with sex makes it harder for him to want to date, because dating comes with expectations. He's clearly not romance or sex repulsed, but he does have trouble connecting on a deeper level with these women. He doesn't have trouble connecting with Buck. I think if you plant the attraction to men seed with him, his brain would fill the empty space with Buck. Kinda in the same way he keeps trying to match these women to Shannon. So he could get there. He can absolutely get there. I see this being a route to be taken. I don't know if the show is brave enough to do it though.

[bunmurdock]

bun you’re so sweet, it makes me so, so happy that you liked my writing !! :’)🧸 i thought i’d write back just to casually yap more about matty (its giving obsessed

cause, tbh, i think about him having a hard time falling asleep quite a lot after watching that scene where elektra sleeps on his couch (s2e7) and the camera focuses on her chest and breathing. as far as i interpreted, it’s sort of a way to make us “see” through matt’s senses.

like, imagine how relieving it must have felt to him falling asleep to her presence after ten years apart? he didn’t bother letting her sleep on his bedroom and sleeping himself on the couch, neither leaving her there to go to his bed, he simply drifted off in a literal chair next to her and a very fucked up neck position lmao.

foggy also mentioned briefly (also s2e7) about how devastated matt was after elektra left him and i often think about that smiley, soft, baby college matt trying to sleep and just live overall without her back then :(

it’s not the ideal super healthy type of relationship, but, being super honest, i think it’s quite impossible to reach that with mm. it doesn’t matter how hard he tries, i think he’d always rely and depend so much both physically and emotionally on his partner.

bro’s got a daddy, mommy, mentor, priest and nun issues on his back. turns out daredevil is just canonically the most sensitive baby ever, who would have thought?! (im looking right at you, stick 🔪)

THIS IS THE KINDA DISCOURSE I LOVE. YAPPING AHEAD.

re: s2e7 "the camera focuses on her chest and breathing. as far as i interpreted, it’s sort of a way to make us “see” through matt’s senses." i definitely read it as that. even though his connection with her wasn't physical, it was definitely made to feel deeply intimate, and to me it was 100% emotional infidelity to karen. i also read his connection with elektra and his final lay to rest at the end of that episode as an itch/addiction scratched, particularly an identity-based one. because season two's biggest antagonistic force imo was matt murdock's own hubris and his inability to reconcile his dual natures as he dealt with the consequences of his own actions from season one (vigilantism over law and order). i know charlie cox once said something to the effect of "when matt puts the suit on, his intentions are good, but when he starts beating on criminals that can turn." that internal conflict coupled with the loneliness and violence of his mission that no one could understand or empathize with but elektra is why i think he fell back in love with her. it was always more than sex for them, but a sense of "i know you like no one else, and you know me." and us-against-the-world dynamics.

that said—definitely. i think a huge part of matt murdock's allure is that he's extremely private—to a fault—but will let one very special person in on everything in his life. he naturally reaches for soulmate bonds. i've always seen matt murdock as a lover, not a fighter, first. sex with him would have a spiritual component. ugh they don't make em like him anymore. 😔

share your mm thoughts

[wiltf]

in hindsight, you should’ve seen this one coming.

stupid of you to deny the feeling of pressure all around you, popping in your ears finally just like they did on the plane for the very first time. you know that it was so ridiculous to have ignored this for so long, because whispers and looks always followed.

so when seven shouts as the drinks hit your heads, your ears pop. reality comes slamming in down your back, smelling vaguely of cherry liqueur and beer. it fucking stinks. but it has you jump up, hands trying to catch the ice that had managed to make it under your shirt, blinking through the alcohol and hair. knee hitting the edge of the table and you’re swearing louder than seven, now. stumbling over furniture and instruments and sheets of paper, trying to get a hand on the responsible person.

he beats you to grabbing the front of jesse’s shirt, though. seven’s bandana had slipped out of his hair with the movement of his fist, collecting with jesse’s cheek. these are the little snapshots of thought, of course, that pass through your mind. accompanied, when you are getting a handle on what might just be happening, by a resounding slap. your cheek stings and for some reason you can taste iron on your back teeth.

sense is knocked into you like an etch-a-sketch with a french tip. hard enough to throw your cheek in the other direction, to the now horrified look of iris, jazzy, rowan. seven. if only because the first person to jump into action was devyn, arms around your middle, pulling you back and away from the table. surely no one could blame you for the way you struggled against devyn, nor the way you could feel the rage rise up and curl your lips, when you see who was responsible.

return of the gem. return of the gem and the trail of other two-month relationships that had peppered the last few years of seven’s love life. and well, yours, as someone had wisely decided to pull seven off of jesse. a very bloody jesse, who did little more than glare at you through a slowly swelling eye.

“are you fucking kidding me?”

honestly, your question was more aimed at devyn, who summoned an infinite amount of strength that left you to miserably wiggle, trying to. well. you’re not sure what. flail now, at the very least.

your first instinct was to throw down, but that might’ve just been the cocktail of a bad hookup sticking to your hair and clothes. the second one was to just scream and well. the physical violence was just that much more appealing, despite the appearance of bouncers and the bar manager, and how seven’s league of evil exes just loomed.

devyn finally gives up in holding you completely, settling more for keeping a solid arm across your front. fine, that was fine, because fuck trying to consider anything else right now as you had to try to breathe. focus, and not lose this gig, or your nerve, or well.

fuck the relationship. “limp-dick fucker, the shit was this for?!”

when jesse looks at you, you were surprised by how alarmed they were. as if they didn’t expect you to shout. and well, jesse should’ve been quite familiar with your vocal chords by now, but sheer force of will kept them from greeting the heel of your boot. and not in the way they normally liked.

“you’re cheating on me, you… you bitch!”

the face you pull probably looked much like the one rowan did, at how the attempt at an insult petered out. jesse didn’t know what to say. that made it worse.

“this is about cheating?!”

“so you admit it!”

“you are the biggest shithead i’ve met in my life, and i’ve seen my share of assholes. i’m not cheating—and, who, am i cheating with?!”

gem is the one who shouts and points. at seven, because of course. you wanna snap her perfect little manicure just for the absolute insanity of the situation. also, partially because you think it did actually cut your skin after the slap.

instead, she’s saved by the laugh that leaves you, and continues to do so. the way you have to cover your face, and devyn looks embarrassed for them. “change the fucking record, jesus fucking christ. aren’t you all tired of this yet?

“bill, i’m so sorry about all this. i’ll agree to the share you suggested for this gig. fuck’s sake.”

you shove past gem, and the geminites, because what the fuck. was there a group chat out there? you know you weren’t the most popular with a specific demographic (mainly being the series of relationships that had ended when seven got fed up with the jealousy), but this? this right here? it convinced you that this was a conspiracy. you were in fact an alternate universe of scott pilgrim, but there was no pixie manic dream girl you were willing to risk it all for.

instead, you roll your eyes at jesse, and have to say see you never to the last six months. somehow you hadn’t picked it up, like your sensor hadn’t gone off this time around. convinced you that everything was fine and dandy, and jesse didn’t suddenly realise their idiotic mistake of publicly airing dirty laundry that wasn’t even dirty, just boring. boring and stupid jealous behaviour, that has gem try to reach for you again.

this time you don’t hesitate. solid punch, to the gut. knock the wind out of her, because this had to stop. it had to.

because seven couldn’t meet your eye, as the bouncer finally lets him go. as he shakes whatever alcohol still remained on your set list away — the list specifically put together to celebrate your six months, too. as seven hid behind his fringe, like he did when you were much younger. it was a look many a fan had given a swoon over, when done purposely on stage.

now, however, that was almost a look of shame. shame and something you couldn’t quite place, for the first time in your life. never enough time to unpack that, as you’re getting a warning from the bouncer for the punch, and well.

slapping cash down on the bar, having to walk out, that was just the cherry on the goddamn beer, wasn’t it? so have to make sure you one up it all, with the way you rip the necklace off — a happy three months present — sending it sailing into the middle of a still gaping crowd.

“happy six months, babe. delete my number, and if i see you,” a finger, pointed through the crowd, as your doppelgänger, “again, i’ll fucking kill you.”

[broken-clover]

So after rewatching with the director's commentary (yeah, technically I watched the movie twice in two days, but the second time I mostly had it in the background while doing other stuff) and having some more time to collect my thoughts, I think I'm just deciding to do a list of all the things I thought the movie did really well, expected or otherwise. Like, everyone knows about the bizarreness and the so-bad-it's-good memery but I want to highlight some stuff I thought was genuinely admirable

-In watching the director's commentary, it seemed that he had a pretty realistic and relatively grounded and familiar understanding of the source material, which is inherently more than the live action Mario movie did. Even if it didn't pan out like expected, it's cool to see that passion went into it and he had a sense of respect for the games instead of writing them off as childish and trying to 'improve' it

-Likewise appreciate the director sharing petty grievances with the film, it humanizes things quite a bit. In fairness I also want those swizzle sticks and Bison dollars and would've been bummed if I was the only one who didn't get any.

-100% will always respect practical effects and physical set design. There were a few areas where CGI was used but for the most part it's all tangible

-Also!! Practical fighting!! Yes it's easy to make jokes about Van Damme's accent when playing someone so cartoonishly American but in a movie like this that relies so heavily on fight scenes he's exactly the sort of person you'd want to cast.

-(Perhaps an odd aside but upon reflection and trying to see other peoples' opinions on the film I think @ninewheels makes a very solid point in that having an immigrant Guile subtly works in the narrative's favor while also downplaying the plot's 'white savior' element to a degree)

-Again, discarding the canon divergences, Honda and Balrog had some terrific moments as a comedic duo, and for as little screentime was they had they managed to make their characters compelling. It's made completely understandable that given all three having their lives ruined by Bison in some form that they and Chun-Li would gravitate towards and work together. Unironically would watch a whole side series just about the three of them they bounce off of each other in a strangely natural way

-Likewise, Dhalsim!! Was not expecting to find him so compelling. I know it's a steep deviation from canon but at the very least they gave him his own little character arc, and the desire to use his skills for the betterment of humanity does sound a lot like canon Dhalsim behavior so I'm fine with it.

-Like I mentioned before, I was quite shocked at how well done Vega's presence was in the film, being rather spot on visually and personality-wise. As I found out while looking up more info, apparently his actor was still learning English at the time, so it's understandable why he only had a few short lines. However, just about everything else makes up for it. The costume design was near-perfect, and even without dialogue his body language did a terrific job of having him come across as condescendingly smug and dismissive. I see a lot of (absolutely deserved) praise for Mr. Julia but Jay Tavare did a fantastic job and absolutely deserves more credit

-On that note in general a recurring sentiment I kept having was that the silent/gesture comedy in this was really, really sharp. Some of the funniest parts in this movie were ones with no dialogue whatsoever

-This movie was funny on purpose!! I've seen some people describe the memetic moments in this and make it sound as though the whole thing is a straightforward action flick, but there were a whole lot of actually intentionally comedic elements and most of them landed perfectly well!

-Zangief is another underratedly terrific performance. Even if he's much duller than he is canonically it's played with so much gusto and enthusiasm that it's so enjoyable to watch him in action.

-Raul Julia. No explanation needed.

-Ming-Na Wen. Slight explanation needed bc WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME SHE WAS SO GOOD IN THIS. Woman did her own stunts and gave the movie a dose of colder realism that worked excellently with the somewhat unsteady tone

-Bazooka Cammy. Also as iffy as I was initially at having a pop star acting in this Kylie turned in a pretty solid performance.

-Gun Ken. I don't have much elaboration for this one it was just funny. Super magical spirit karate from living in backwoods Japan for like a decade with some old guy and you just decide to use a gun. We brought back Neck Snap Cammy from the II OVA for 6 so we can totally bring back Gun Ken for SF6 too right?? Please?? Don't even have to do anything too fancy just take regular Ken and give him Gun.

[avatar216]

When I was outside the other day leaving an offering to the gods, I started really thinking about why I personally don't like/subscribe to thinking about the Æsir's conflicts with each other or the Jõtnar as order vs chaos or good vs evil, even though the former is a commonly accepted rebuttal to the latter in arguments. I've accepted that order vs chaos is still just another way to hold on to Christian dualism in some way and the classical model as @skaldish says in one of his posts. I agree with him that the Norse gods are characters first unlike the Greek gods in many ways. I usually look at Loki and the others as beings whose actions are just that actions and beings who have events happen in their lives rather than actions being viewed as aspects of the gods, like Loki's so-called world breaker aspect. I personally feel like this type of thinking can diminish Loki's reasons for leading an army of the Jõtnar and/or dead humans against his fellow gods. I don't think one can really compare Loki to say Eris or Seth who both really embody chaos in the sense that they love to confuse and make discord but yet are measured counter points to positively chaotic beings like Apep and Typhon. I know I'm not alone in thinking this way. It's just not something I see too often in online groups.

To me, Loki in the myths (and in my UPG) comes across as stubborn, impulsive, mischievous, easily made angry, willing enough to fix his or others' fuck ups, cunning, deceitful, a bit foolish, self-confident, down right brazen, quick on his feet, serious when shit gets real, and may be kinda lonely or at least he likes attention a lot but not praise. He doesn't seem to want power much either. I try to avoid using God of x terminology in describing him because for me it doesn't answer the who in the question but rather the what of the question. I could describe him as a god of theft/plunder, war, leadership, deceit, cunning, slander, treachery, and betrayal among other things but that doesn't really explain what he acts like in myth or in my experience with him in dreams. In those he's blond and weirdly serious. The reason I'm explaining this is because I don't think labels and categories like order vs chaos really fit deities like Loki who are complex, confusing, and nuanced and whose actions can't be neatly sorted into boxes. Labels don't seem to stick for very long, I've noticed, when it comes to Loki. A lot of gods could be associated with these same things but that doesn't mean Loki is an equivalent to them. I would say Seth is a chaos god through and through but there's a lot more to him. However, he loves to do the things that fall under the definition of chaos like being confusing and random hence why I and others call him a chaos god. The Ancient Egyptians also did have a clear concept of Order vs Chaos. This isn't a modern projection of dichotomy.

I think we're really influenced not by Christianity, but Greek mythology in the way we approach understanding the gods and myths so far as thinking of gods as having governing domains rather than as beings with certain interests, lives, likes, dislikes, and jobs they do voluntarily. I also wish there was more out there talking about Norse mythology's big thing with the physical and biological sides of things like the world being made out of the body. Different body parts representing the cosmos. Body parts and trees being used for divination purposes etc. I think I agree with Dr. Crawford that a lot of certain concepts probably wouldn't even make sense in Old Norse, because it's a strongly concrete language.

[ruvviks]

– OC RED FLAGS.

TAGGED BY: @shellibisshe, @strafethesesinners, @aartyom & @katsigian, thank you so much!! TAGGING: @reaperkiller, @steelport, @arklay, @faarkas, @swordcoasts, @morvaris, @cultistbase, @liurnia, @girlbosselrond, @devilbrakers, @necro-hamster and YOU! – quiz ☆

– STUBBORN.

you don't recognize the opinions and beliefs of others, either that or you don't care about them. you stick strongly to what you were raised to doing, and don't realize that the world can change. you have extremely strong beliefs, and you think that if another's beliefs aren't the exact same as yours, they're wrong and you automatically hate them. you also might be political and close minded

director’s commentary: mikhail is 100% a stubborn little man. it’s more in the sense of him continuously putting others’ needs before his own and when people tell him to stop he doesn’t listen <3 which he needs to stop doing because it’s going to get him killed one day. HOWEVER the description (not all too accurate) DOES mention sticking to beliefs strongly and mikhail does have that a little bit- for example, his black-and-white thinking about platonic love versus romantic love that i described in a post at some point, which made it hard for him to be more physically affectionate with his friends. he has more little things like that which he holds on to for a very long time because that’s how he’s been raised (or it’s bad coping mechanisms from when he lost contact with vitali for six years) and he doesn’t know any better and he’s for a while too stubborn and too scared to look for alternatives until vincent comes along <3 but he would also never hate his loved ones for having different views on stuff like that. in fact he ends up spending a good amount of time trying to understand other people’s views and eventually manages to let go of his own ways a bit because it’s much healthier for himself that way

– FAKE.

you are a toxic human being. you belittle others, and are overly competitive. you probably envy those who have it better than you so you try to manipulate the person into feeling worthless so that you can feel superior. you are never there for your friends in time of need but you expect them to always be at your service

director’s commentary: NOOOO THIS ONE IS MEAN WEHGFJDGHDFJG ok so i guess it Does fit a little bit? the description is a bit much, everyone who’s read about vincent knows he’s not like that lol but he DOES have a lot of envy in him that he needs to work on. if anything it’s more of a passive feeling inside him that can make him close himself off on occasion but it’s not an active feeling, he would never go around manipulating others and he is Always there for his friends. his envy as well as his competitiveness come from him being the youngest of five and he’s had to fight for his spot for basically his entire childhood and he hasn’t been able to let go of that yet- and this mostly translates to him doing the most on gigs to the point he’s a danger to himself (and sometimes others!!) and also he likes to steal from rich people <3 and then there is once again the added layer of having had to share a body with johnny, which puts the “fake” into a whole different perspective. johnny’s personality has definitely leaked over into vincent a little bit and sometimes even for him it’s hard to tell if something he does or thinks originates from himself or from silverhand

– VIOLENT.

when something makes you upset, it could even be the tiniest most petty reason ever, you yell, rage, and possibly throw stuff in anger. your actions think quicker than your mind, and it could probably not even be intentional but the next thing you'll realize is that you've hurt someone

director’s commentary: when i first took this quiz for vitali i got “lack of trust” which fits him a lot better than this one but i wanted to see if he could still get this result as well and, well, here we are. he would never hurt his loved ones and the broker fic is proving that quickly but with the way he so fiercely defends those he cares about, he can absolutely get violent when it comes to his enemies. vitali’s anger is one of the main themes of the broker fic and it shows how he’s worked so hard all his life to find healthy outlets and ways to keep himself under control- and then it shows how this all falls apart when his anger starts putting him in the passenger seat of his body because of the remnants of arasaka’s brainwashing tech in his head. him torturing dupoint, him screaming and punching the wall in the abandoned arasaka facility the day after matvey nearly shot and killed mikhail, him having that argument with daniil- all signs of that river inside him overflowing, if we were to stick to matvey’s metaphor. as you can see i’m very normal about it <3

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi, if it wont take up too much of your time, could i get a match up for obey me?

i'm 20, male (trans), and unlabled in terms of sexuality though i am fine dating any gender.

personality: I am usually very nervous and quiet when I first meet people, (which a lot of my friends call me emo for 😭) but if I do get to know people I become much more friendly and often make a lot of jokes, though i will always be slightly introverted and shy. however, I am kind and show sympathy and empathy regularly, especially when people need it. I have an issue with sort of acting 'head empty' around my friends, but i do trust that i am mature and have strong ambitions for the future. I often don't discuss this with others as the people i'm surrounded by mostly only like me when i'm funny and stuff. i'm not sure if this is more personality or physical, but I also have times were i don't talk a lot. I can get cold and snappy if people irritate me too much, but am usually quite patient.

I can made judgements on people's characters and get their personality down very quickly, and if i do not like them, I will try keep a distance. however, i can sense when people are using coldness or harshness to hide problems and will either try stick around and subtly help them or make sure they're doing well from a distance. I don't like overly energetic and spontaneous people as i get tired and burnt out easily, and often prefer doing less chaotic activities though I do enjoy watching others do stupid stuff.

I'm an intp-t.

physically: I am 163 cm and 52 kg (so basically i have the build of a malnourished child in a charity ad). I am also chinese, so i carry some ethnic features from there. I have relatively short black hair and pale-ish skin. I have a multiple scars and bruises on my arms, legs and elbows which have come from completely random causes, and also some sh issues. I usually wear oversized sweaters and t-shirts with silly goofy cool prints on them. because i'm ftm, I still have female genitals, though i am on testosterone and blockers for the last two years. planning on getting top surgery soon.

hobbies: swimming, baking, cello, aquascaping, botany, chemistry, taekwondo, marine biology, reading, philosophy, drawing.

other-

I have ADD, ASD, and MDD . currently being medicated for major depression, but it's going badly 💀 also had issues with anger and eating disorders in the past but they've gotten a lot better over the years!

I have a higher iq than most but i forgot the exact number

I have daddy issues so naturally my taste in men is immensely fucked up

I don't have much time on my hands due to being in uni, being in a state/national swim team and a strings orchestra, but if i had a partner i would do my best to try spend as much time with them as possible.

I give love through physical touch and gift giving mostly.

I have a dog, but i had to leave him with my parents when I went to uni :( planning to get a cat one day i love cats sm ughhh

I'm not very used to physical touch or words of affection but I do like it a lot!

Thank you so much for your time! Have a good day :))

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchup!

In Obey Me, I match you with...

Lucifer is a good balance for you. He’s physical enough without being overwhelming, and quietly supportive.

He’s very observant so he can tell when you want physical affection or words of affection, as well as when you need a break from any displays of affection and will adjust his advances accordingly.

Lucifer’s not excessive with his words of affection. He’d rather let his actions convey his fondness for you. But since he knows you like words of affection, he’ll do his best.

No need to worry about him being overly energetic. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Lucifer “energetic” unless he’s under a spell or someone else is in his body. That’s just not who he is.

His brothers on the other hand…Lucifer knows you’re not fond of people who bounce off the walls every other second so he’ll try to keep his brothers under control. But there’s only so much one demon can do.

Loves listening to you play the cello. He enjoys classical music and finds any little imperfections in your playing simply add character to the song.

[melishade]

Z-King: Awesome idea for Terran, makes you wonder how Founder Ymir feels about the Engeron involved in the titans and titan shifters. Also looks like Gabi got the short end of the stick with the Starscream AU.

Gabi’s death in the Revenge Timeline

How energon affects the Paths...is a bit of spoilers for Attack on Prime, so I won't elaborate for now.

And of course Gabi would get herself killed in one of these timelines that I have for Attack on Prime. Gabi is a very foolish character. She's impulsive, reckless, arrogant, and many of her own actions have nearly gotten herself killed, or have gotten someone else killed.

Example 1: Her introduction

Gabi literally offers to throw herself in danger to take out the armored train. She succeeds, but five seconds later, a soldier she didn’t kill, is trying to shoot her down with a machine gun.

Example 2: The Liberio Attack

Yes emotions were running high and there was chaos all around. But Gabi made the impulsive decision to try and join the fight. She gets stopped by the two guards at the interment zone, and as they are distracted, they get shot down by Sasha trying to tell Gabi to leave.

Example 3: Assassin’s Bullet

Gabi had no real reason to jump onto the blimp other than an emotional one. She was going on a suicide mission based on anger and grief, and yes she did kill someone, but if Falco was not there, she would have died. She only lived because Falco cared enough to follow and tackle her out the way.

Example 4: The Pitchfork at the Farm

Gabi and Falco are on the run, and Kaya states that she knows that the both of them are from Marley. Instead of trying to think rationally, and is instead flying off the handle, she tries to stab Kaya with a pitchfork! And Falco has to stop her. First of all, she’s outnumbered, and secondly, she’s a fugitive. If Gabi somehow managed to successfully kill Kaya, she would have been given the death penalty at that point because she killed an unarmed, civilian, child. On top of that, Mr. Blause, who is a hunter, may have shot her dead.

Example 5: The restaurant incident

The biggest example of Gabi being impulsive and reckless. Yes, Gabi and Falco go to Niccolo and ask for help, but when Niccolo realizes that Gabi is the one who kills Sasha, Gabi doesn’t shut her mouth. She keeps running her mouth, proudly stating that she killed Sasha. This causes Niccolo to fly off the handle and now Falco has to save her from getting hit with the wine bottle. But because she didn’t shut up, Niccolo lays her sins to bare before Sasha’s family, he holds Falco hostage and almost kills him, and Gabi keeps talking and insulting Sasha, which almost results in Kaya stabbing her in the head with a knife! But even after that, it’s too late now, because Falco is now infected with Zeke’s spinal fluid. All because Gabi did not think for once brief second.

Now you could argue that Gabi is a child. She was brainwashed. She didn’t know any better. Fair argument. However! You know who also was a child that was brainwashed and in theory shouldn’t know any better: Falco. Falco was in the exact same situation as Gabi, if not worse because he and his brother were forced to become warriors or get turned into titans. Falco knew when to read the room! Falco knew when to not put himself in danger! Falco knew when to keep his mouth shut when the situation called for it! The only reason he’s in a terrible situation in the first place is because he cares too much for Gabi.

So it would make absolute sense that Gabi would get herself killed in an Attack on Prime AU timeline, especially by someone like Starscream. Because Gabi is not picking anything up, she’s flying off the handle trying to prove a point and be right, that she is pissing someone off that has been through emotional, physical, verbal, psychological trauma by the same person that she’s talking about, along with his dislike for humans being the cherry on top.

Shockwave was running on logic, which is why she’s still alive in the Dark Timeline. Starscream was running on emotion, which is why Gabi died in the Revenge Timeline.

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

The Same Old Story – Behind The Scenes

Alright, I’m writing this post because The Same Old Story is a writing experiment and the process might interest some more than the story itself.

This fic has a time-loop written in the third person. When we’re in the time-loop, the characters don’t have an identity or a sense of self – they don’t even talk like themselves for the most part – so the first chapter (which introduces the set-up) is titled “Out of Character.” Inside that house, they are not Simon, Agatha, and Niamh. They are merely roles: the husband, the wife, the housekeeper. It’s never “her husband” or “his wife” either, which would highlight a connection, but the husband, the wife. 

Baz defies all structure, so he doesn’t have a role. He’s “a mysterious man.” He disrupts. Niamh also disrupts. She has the role of housekeeper, but to Agatha, she’s more. 

The choice to refer to them exclusively by their roles in the third person creates a distance. It’s intentional, but the downside is that it will probably be alienating (we usually don’t read fics to feel distant from our favorite blorbos, do we) so I’m not expecting people to actually read this (or if they were curious enough to click on the fic, to not stick around lol) but I want to challenge myself so I’m writing it, anyway.

I don’t have much experience writing horror, and I really struggled with how to write this idea when it came to me, so I decided to keep the time-loop part of the fic very brief. More than horror, my aim was “trapped and unsettled.” I’m also trying not to overthink this, so I’m writing it without even proofreading much – otherwise, I might not write at all. To help me write this easily and quickly, I made this instead of an outline. Having everything where I can easily see it really helped with the time-loop and the repetition elements (as in, things that are repeating in multiple chapters), especially because I write (and I’m writing) out of order. (The IIII is not a mistake.)

But there are cracks. And in the cracks, we get a bit of Simon’s POV and Agatha’s POV. The timeline of the memories are non-linear, and since the theme is “comphet is a cage” I’m only giving these two a POV. I’ll confess the POVs are probably very fucking on the nose! haha. I didn’t exactly aim for subtlety or finesse here, I’m just getting the idea out. 

The main idea with Agatha and Simon is that, if I had to summarize why they dated, it’ll be: they wanted a place in the world. Agatha was trying to get attention and find herself through romantic love, because that’s how beautiful girls are told they have value. Simon was desperately seeking stability, home and family. He was after the idea of having a future in the one way boys like him are told they can have it, all to distract himself from the fact that he absolutely believed he had no future. They’re both baby gays very much running away from the gay.  

They’re also absolutely influenced by media. It’s a constant with Simon. He uses his free time to watch movies and tv. It might be escapism (in line with how he avoids thinking/self-discovery), he might just like it, or both. I’d say it’s both. He has Opinions on action movies (the ones he watched on the airplane were shit!) he would watch older movies (comparing Baz to a silent movie fellow) and he uses media to shape his understanding of the world. We’re told Agatha and Simon watched TV together (said in the most uncomfortable way possible by Agatha, which says a lot about how physical closeness felt for them. A firm yikes, there). So we had two lost teens desperately trying to belong, performing heterosexuality while likely watching media that reaffirms heterosexual romance as the desirable “endgame.”  

This was also the idea behind Agatha’s POV. The obvious would have been going for romantic movies (I do reference The Lady Eve, and the song ‘As time goes by’ is connected with the Casablanca romance) (The window thing comes from a scene reading of Maurice that haunted me for days after I watched it) but I went with my love for film noir and old horror for most of the movie choices. (If you don’t know the movie, you’d never guess the “lonely people” quote comes from an Evil Twin movie) (A Stolen Life) (1946, not the newer one). After all, this part of Gaslight was what inspired the whole fic idea:

Writing Agatha’s POV made me realize she’s a bit challenging for exposition – I rewrote her first POV a few times because I kept pausing like “wait, why the fuck would Agatha care about this?” Her POV also includes a tiny little bit of good old self-projection.  

Simon’s POV was much simpler: Baz is there. Simon is obsessed. After all, this is a crucial aspect of Simon’s essence. I also figure that a Simon raised by Lady Ruth would be more self-aware, so I went ahead with pinning Simon to a clueless Baz, because as smart as Baz can be, he can also be totally clueless to the ways Simon shows love until Simon spells it out for him. Or he can totally overthink it or find ways to hold himself back (like with insecurities) to deny himself of his desires. I gave Simon glasses because having a tangible element to associate with him also made my life easier. 

(Don’t let this convince you I’m organized though, I made that calendar-looking thing after I already had a lot written in a lot of different docs, and didn’t know how the hell to order it haha) 

[tiredassmage]

What is your character like with conflict resolution? Are they the first to try and find a middle ground no matter how inconvenient or unfair it might be, or do they stick to their guns (literally or figuratively) no matter what strife that might cause with others? Has there been a point in trying to resolve conflict that they have failed or made the situation worse?

Astor has always been a mediator and seeker of compromise. His bleeding heart doesn't want either side to walk away at a notable disadvantage for what they have gained or given up, but he almost always prefers to reach for understanding before getting into another fight. This doesn't exactly always work out in larger conflicts, of course.

The case of the Ala Mhigan and Doman refugees, for example, is one subject that was beyond him as a single person - even a semi-accomplished adventurer, at that point. It's difficult to negotiate with the needs of an entire nation in mind versus the very immediate needs of a displaced group seeking shelter. He knows understanding won't always prevail, but, ultimately, he tries to remember its always worth trying.

He also isn't exactly a true pacifist. He'd just rather have the best understanding possible of his reasons for getting involved before a fight. And understanding doesn't always mean reconciliation. Just because he can understand Emet-Selch in the ultimate end doesn't change the conflict in their ideals and solutions, nor that they even get along, ultimately.

It's definitely burnt him from both ends. His brand of selflessness can border on and sometimes cross into self-destructive. Thankfully he has a group like the Scions behind him and adventuring company like adopted daughter Kiana or best friend & wife Eden along for most of the story to help check him from most of his egregious offenses. Most of the times, anyway.

Shay is reluctant to trust and incredibly stubborn. He enters potential negotiations with a keen eye for possible areas of manipulation. Especially if he perceives he and his fellows have already been wronged, he can be incredibly difficult to convince. He's not particularly forgiving - with himself or others, though he has made some improvement, I reckon, over the years traveling as one of the Scion's champion warriors.

Shay, ultimately, will prefer to make a stand and is far more comfortable in physical conflict than at the negotiating table. He's anything but a diplomat; he often angers too easily to restrain a barbed tongue and sometimes dark sense of humor. He'll fight tooth, claw, and nail if necessary for what little he has found utterly priceless to him.

It has led to a series of incidents in which he's blamed himself for not acting quick enough, for not being there when and where he was needed, etc. - the Vault being one of them. His avoidance of his feelings and throwing himself into the arts of the Dark Knight also caused some tumultuous times in his relationship with fellow Warrior of Light, Airi (@fatewalker-phoenix) because if there's anything that Shay hates, it's feeling vulnerable and especially admitting to it in any capacity. Though particularly verbally. Shay generally believes his actions speak louder, which is always amusing because he... kind of tends to wax a bit poetic when he actually does verbalize his feelings.

He's kind of an all-around dramatic, lol.

[politesper-rip]

@anonymous​  sent  in:  people who know the Itsuki you display only love only a false version of you and how you look. people who get to know the real you will come to resent you because you're not enough. you will spend the rest of your existence, barely existing at all.

                    ‶  ”i  shall  think  that  the  sky,  the  air,  the  earth,  colors,  shapes,  sounds,  and  all  external  things  are  merely  the  delusions  of  the  dreams  which  he  has  devised  to  ensnare  my  judgement.  i  shall  consider  myself  as  not  having  hands  or  eyes,  or  flesh,  or  blood  or  senses,  but  as  falsely  believing  that  i  have  all  these  things.”  ″  the  quote  comes  off  as  detached,  an  abrupt  and  seemingly  out  of  nowhere  response.  still  followed  by  that  smile  and  almost  superior  tone  of  voice.  and  yet,  in  his  eyes  there  is  a  empty  look.  it’s  the  gaze  of  someone  distant-  though  that  is  who  he  is.  this  distance  is  mandatory,  of  course,  but  it  is  still  a  painful  thing  to  experience.

                    ‶  how  does  one  define  the  self  to  begin  with...  it’s  something  many  philosophers  have  debated.  in  terms  of  existence,  one  might  presume  just  having  a  body  is  enough.  so  long  as  i  physically  exist  on  this  plane,  i  exist,  no  matter  what  i  present  to  other  people  i  will  alway  be  perceived  by  them,  acknowledging  my  form  and  solidifying  my  place  in  this  world.  “i  am  observed,  therefore  i  exist.”  but  that  feels  hollow,  doesn’t  it?  while  it  may  offer  me  a  small  comfort,  it  does  little  to  disprove  your  statement.  and  it  isn’t  all  that  satisfying  either.  ″

                    ‶  in  the  words  of  descartes  “i  think  therefore  i  am.”  if  the  self  is  the  mind  and  i  am  but  a  thing  that  thinks,  i  think  i  can  easily  claim  that  i  am  existing  wholeheartedly.  those  around  me  are  unable  to  perceive  the  “self”  that  i  am  because  my  thoughts  are  not  privy  to  them.  but  who  can  say  that  all  of  their  thoughts  are  privy  to  anyone?  if  you  have  not  exposited  all  of  your  thoughts  to  someone,  you  could  hardly  claim  that  they  know  the  "real”  you.  your  “self,”  so  to  speak.  but  naturally,  that’s  an  unreasonable  request.  it  would  be  impossible  to  share  all  of  that  information  to  someone.  so  do  you  think  that  it  is  rational  to  say  that  no  one  ever  truly  knows  anyone?  ″

                    ‶  the  best  thing  one  can  do  is  look  at  someone’s  words  and  actions  and  make  their  best  guesses.  any  understanding  you  have  of  someone  is  merely  an  assumption.  and  you  have  so  clearly  stated  your  assumptions  about  me...  but  who  is  to  say  if  they  are  correct  or  not?  perhaps  i  always  try  to  display  my  truest  self  to  the  world.  or  perhaps,  even  if  i  do  not,  i  often  hint  to  the  meaning  behind  my  actions  in  hopes  that  someone  might  see  me  for  who  i  am.  or...  maybe  i  refuse  to  reveal  my  “self”  to  anyone.  the  only  person  who  has  any  way  of  knowing  that  is  yours  truly.  ″

                    ‶  and  yet...  who  could  be  content  with  a  conclusion  like  that?  ″  

                    ‶  whether  it  be  the  mind,  the  soul,  the  body,  or  some  combination  of  the  three-  what  the  “self”  is  doesn’t  really  matter  all  that  much,  does  it?  i  could  attempt  to  define  who  or  what  it  is  i  am  to  you  as  much  as  i  would  like;  try  to  convince  you  that  i  am  satisfied  with  my  “self”  until  i  am  unable  to  continue  speaking.  but  tell  me,  do  you  think  that  would  make  a  difference?  if  you  can  claim  whether  a  version  of  me  is  true  or  false,  then  your  mind  seems  as  if  it  is  already  made  up.  you  have  made  an  assumption  about  what  my  “self”  is  and  you  appear  determined  to  stick  to  it.  i  doubt  i  could  change  that,  as  much  as  i  would  like  to.  ″

                    ‶  this  assumption  of  yours  is  how  you  regard  me-  how  you  choose  to  acknowledge  me.  as  someone  barely  capable  of  existing  because  you  do  not  believe  that  my  real  “self”  will  ever  be  noticed.  i  will  never  have  the  satisfaction  of  being  known  or  appreciated.  and  maybe  you’re  right  on  that  account.  maybe  you’re  wrong.  but  i  cannot  help  but  loop  back  around  to  one  of  my  very  first  thoughts.  ″

                    ‶  ”i  am  observed,  therefore  i  am.”  those  in  the  brigade  all  acknowledge  me  as  an  individual.  although  you  could  argue  that  each  of  them  interprets  this  individual  differently.  whether  that  is  because  i  change  how  i  act  around  them  or  because  they  have  different  interpretations  of  my  character  is  irrelevant.  because,  to  them,  that  person  exists.  that  person  has  an  impact  on  their  life.  they  have  opinions  on  that  person,  interact  with  that  person,  think  about  that  person,  and  they  see  that  person.  i  would  like  to  think  my  own  existence  could  be  related  to  my  effect  on  others-  and  their  acknowledgement  of  me  and  my  place  in  their  life.  ″

                    ‶  i  don’t  think  i  need  anything  more  than  that.  real  or  fake-  it  doesn’t  matter.  because  only  i  am  capable  of  defining  that  within  myself.  ″

[erigold13261]

Speaking of which, how did 1010 physically transition?

Ehhh, I don't know how many people want me to like talk about this in the more detailed sense since it borders onto more suggestive themes. But sure.

For the most part, 1010 kept their outward appearance. Zimelu, Purl, and Eloni doing minor changes to get more "feminine" body parts (with Zimelu going the farthest and actively trying to shape her body more like it has tits and stuff). While Rin and Haym kept their bodies pretty similar (Haym might have changed his a bit to have broader shoulders or more weight to him). But overall the silhouette of 1010 basically stays the same.

I think they also keep their base head shapes, but they would change their hair to better fit them. Zimelu getting a couple more inches of hair, Rin putting on extensions that can come off that are the colors of the other 4 1010 members. The others just letting their hair down more often (except maybe Purl who doesn't have their hair unstyled often).

I'm guess you want to know more about their "bits" though. I do have headcanons for this but I'm gonna put it under a read more in case people don't want to read about it. I'm not getting super graphic or anything, just talking about lower body parts and sex in general.

So I would say 1010 didn't get the upgrades to have sex until at least their MK-2 models, but definitely by the MK-3 models they got it. Even if it was an updated MK-3 model, like MK-3 v.1.3 or something like that.

The whole idea around it was to actually test some experimental cybernetics that would allow for cyborgs and robots to experience more "human" actions (especially for cyborgs). This upgrade would have first been adding simulated breathing, then the ability to process food physically (unlike through a tube like Neon has, or not be able to eat at all like most robots), and at some point the ability to have sex would have been added (not the ability to have kids though, that is tech that won't be made for a while still).

Of course this was done with 1010's permission and consent, they wanted to see what it was like and didn't mind being testers since they could easily go back into an older model if it didn't work out compared to a human who did not have that luxury. Since all this was done before they transitioned, they each got cybernetic male genitalia as that is what made most sense.

Though as they transitioned and the tech got better, each 1010 went their own way with their private parts.

Rin actually thought about getting rid of its parts, but decided to just stick with what it had, it just doesn't use those parts much.

Purl actually ended up requesting both male and female parts. So they can use either or both of them at the same time (either having both out or being able to hide one or the other depending on the person they are sleeping with that night).

Zimelu when finding out she is a girl was very confused on what she wanted, as she was used to male genitalia but also wanted to fully transition. She didn't want to do a swap and then swap back if she didn't like it (or get both like Purl), which was offered to her. Instead she just took time to think about it, talked with Celine (who supported either choice she wanted to do), and in the end decided to fully transition to using female genitalia.

Haym kept his parts the same. Didn't even think about changing them in any way. He was very happy with his body.

And then Eloni had decided to go with female genitalia. He didn't really care using his male genitalia, being okay with keeping it or not, so he decided to try the female genitalia and liked that one a bit more in the end.

Okay, that's everyone. I know this is a kinda weird thing to talk about for some people, but it's my own headcanons I have. I know some people prefer robots who can't fuck, but I like robots that do lol.

Also, Dew is 17 so I don't like going into details with him. But he does have the ability to fuck. Carna and Maragold don't. They are too young right now and I want to keep those two out of this conversation.

Unless specifically talking about them older, but I still wouldn't be super comfortable talking about them like that. Similar is my take on talking about the Sayu Crew/Club or older Yinu in detail. Idk, just aging up a character to talk about sex feels icky to me. Unless I am in a headspace where I can see them fully as an adult (like in some AUs or a timeskip where everyone is older around them) I don't like going into details about them. Being vague and talking generally is one thing, going into super details is another. Hope that makes sense.

[gar-trek]

please share what you have to say about food cubes!!

I was feeling a little apprehensive about releasing the TOS Food Document™ because it is so damn long…. But since you asked anon

DISCLAIMER:

This is focused solely on food as it appears in the original series. Whatever explanation of food synthesizer/replicator that may come in later series does to apply here. I am also not a Star Trek expert. I’m sure there is some super fan out there who knows everything there is to know about food in TOS, but that person is not me. This is just my thoughts as I’ve observed instances where food is shown or mentioned in TOS. If my thought process is flawed, or I make some claims that don’t really make sense, I am sorry. The food canon is very complicated and vague, so this is me just trying my best to make sense of it. I’d also like to mention I did not explicitly cover the meal scene in What Are Little Girls Made Of? Or the ice cream scene from And The Children Shall Lead, but I do make reference to them. I’m sure there are other food scenes I didn’t get to cover here, so if I’m missing a few pieces, I’m sorry.

Anyway… let’s get into it!

The original series, food, and other things that keep me up at night

I don’t care about continuity or plot holes in Star Trek: The Original Series, and if I did, I think the show would become rather unwatchable. It’s not about what happens to get us from plot point A to B, but more important that we do get there (ie, who cares how or why Spock’s brain has been removed from his body, it’s more important that we do get it back inside).

This being said, there is one aspect to TOS that baffles me to no end, and its something I just cannot overlook: the food. Food, the entire concept of it as it appears in TOS haunts me. Each time they show or mention food it makes less and less sense. It’s a never-ending nightmare and I spend every day trying to understand what goes on in the Enterprise Cafeteria. Today I would like to explore a couple food instances on TOS, and hopefully make a little sense of what is happening.

The first chilling incident: The Man Trap (S1E2) - Rand is a thief

In this episode, we see Yeoman Rand on her way to deliver Sulu his meal. She is carrying a tray of colored food cubes (which is what I will be referring to them as here, because there is no official name) and what we can assume to be some kind of alien variant of celery (earth celery with some red crap stuck on top). While waiting for the turbo lift, Rand eats one of the celery sticks intended for Sulu. My question is why. Like literally why does this happen. Sulu never mentions it (maybe he doesn’t notice). She never mentions it to him, which means we can assume she doesn’t want him to know. So why is Rand stealing food? Does she not get enough to eat? Is the limits for how much you get to eat on the Enterprise that strict you need to turn to thievery to get a proper meal? and if that the case, she’s shorting Sulu on his allotted food. In this same scene, we see Ensign Green (who is really a salt-sucking monster) make a grab for the tray as if he too is going to steal Sulu’d food. However, Rand slaps his hand away and asks “who do you think you are?”, a hypocritical statement considering Rand is also in the act of stealing food. So Rand, I must pose the same question to you. This scene has no resolution, so any interpretation is up to the viewer. Whether you think Rand's actions make her a girlboss or a thief, is up to you, however, one thing is undeniably true: Rand eats food off other people's plates.

Other food-related things of note in this episode is that Sulu sprinkles salt on the celery sticks. This means they are either bland or that's just his personal taste. Also, when Rand gives him his tray, he says “may the great bird of the galaxy bless your planet” and this has nothing really to do with food, I just thought it was kind of badass.

(Sulu’s food tray with 3 celery instead of 4 because Rand ate one)  

Incident two: Charlie X (S1E3) - synthetic meatloaf

In Charlie X, we see Captain Kirk make this comment in passing:

“Today on earth it is Thanksgiving, if the crew has to eat synthetic meatloaf I want it to look like turkey.”

This statement leaves us with a couple undeniable truths:

1. Meatloaf is a meal option on the Enterprise.

2. It is synthetic, meaning the meatloaf may not contain any meat at all.

3. It is not shaped like turkey, but it is possible to do so.

if the meatloaf served on the Enterprise is synthetic, then it very well could be made out of the same stuff the colored food cubes are made out of. Also, (and this is pure speculation so take it with a grain of salt) since we never hear anyone refer to the colored food cubes by name, they could literally be the “synthetic meatloaf” that Kirk is referring to here. In this case, the term synthetic meatloaf would not mean a synthetic version of the popular American dish meatloaf but instead loafs of synthetic meat. Since we do not know exactly what synthetic meat looks like, it very well could be brightly colored cubes.

In either case, Kirk is asking them to turn synthetic food from one shape to another. We understand this is possible through the food synthesizer, however, if all the food they eat on the Enterprise is synthetic anyway, then why did Kirk specifically mention synthetic meatloaf in the shape of turkey? would the turkey not instead be made out of synthetic turkey? why must the synthetic turkey be made specifically out of meatloaf? isn’t every single food that comes out of the food synthesizer made out of the same thing? It would have made more sense for Kirk to say “it's thanksgiving so can you made the food synthesizers produce turnkey?”. However, Kirk is like, a really cool guy, so it is possible that the meatloaf comment is just a fun joke. Either way, we know that synthetic meatloaf is a standard menu item on the enterprise, yet we have never seen anyone consume it.

Incident 3: The Corbomite Maneuver (S1E11) - Green leaves

In this episode, Kirk goes in for a physical, and Doctor McCoy reports that the captain is 2 pounds overweight. In response to this, the Doctor changes the captain's dietary card to help him lose a little wight (🙄). We later see the captain served a “dietary salad” in place of his usual meals. The existence of dietary salad is interesting for many reasons. Most importantly, we understand that dietary salad is somehow better for you than what is usually served on the Enterprise. It most likely has a lower caloric intake than say, colored food cubes. However, as discussed before, most if not all the food on the Enterprise is synthetic. If the food is created, and not naturally made, then one can assume its caloric value can be controlled. Would it not be possible to make a lower-calorie version of colored food cubes? one would assume that the cubes are made to have the perfect amount of nutrients to satisfy yet keep humans a healthy weight if they are in fact a form of synthetic man-made food. How would the captain overeat, if portions are pre-determined by dietary cards? Is Kirk somehow going rouge and consuming food that is not created by the food synthesizer (the captain's secret cookie stockpile??).

The existence of this salad also begs another question: is it synthetic as well, or are they growing fresh salad on the Enterprise? We do know that they are able to grow things on the ship, however, there has never been any discussion of growing crops specifically for consumption. If this is the case though, it may explain why we often see crew members eating celery sticks. Perhaps things like celery sticks and dietary salads are grown on the Enterprise, but all other food is synthetically created. In which case, who’s job is it to harvest food and prepare it for meals? Did Rand have to put that dietary salad together all on her own?

One more interesting point about the Salad: When Kirk first receives it, he asks

“what in the devil is this? Green leaves?”

which prompts Rand to explain that it’s a salad. It is very possible that Kirk genuinely has no idea what a salad is. He may have never had one, nor heard of the food in his entire life. Later we see him eat the salad with his hands, which further proves the point that captain kirk doesn't know what salad is. Why captain Kirk would somehow have no knowledge of salad is up to speculation.

Incident 4: The conscience of the king (S1E14) - Cry over spilled milk 

In this episode, Lieutenant Riley is served colored food cubes and a glass of what appears to be milk. There isn’t much of significance here, other than the fact we know it is possible to get a glass of milk with your meal on the Enterprise. Unlike Sulu, Riley doesn’t have any celery sticks but seems to have a larger serving of colored food cubes as compensation. We also learn that milk is served in a large glass, something that seems very impractical on a starship.

Riley proves my point moments later when he spills milk on a control panel and shatters the glass. This begs the question, who is going to clean that up?

Incident 5: Tomorrow is Yesterday (S1E20) - Chicken noodle soup

In this episode, the Enterprise accidentally beams a 60′s army man abroad their ship (for the second time). This random chad ensign asks the man if he’s hungry because he’s a troll I guess and he wanted to flex their cool future food machine. The army captain guy is like sure, I could go for some chicken soup right now (a very natural response to being beamed onto a spaceship for the first time). Chad ensign has like three cards in front of him, and I guess one of them just happens to be chicken soup because he puts it in the machine and the soup appears. Grant it, we never actually get to see the soup with out own eyes, but the army captain does seem to be pretty convinced that it is chicken soup just by the smell. This opens up a couple possibilities:

-The food synthesizer can make almost anything you want, and the card is maybe like a very broad category, like a dinner card, and when you put it in you can pick any dinner food you’d like.

or

-The food synthesizer can only make what is specific to each card, and the ensign just got extremely lucky and happened to have a card that was the exact food the army captain wanted.

More evidence, which we will go over later, points more towards the theory that one card is equal to one specific type of food. In this case, it is unclear how the synthesizer food cards are distributed, or how you get your pick of what food you would like. It is also more likely that options would be limited. This does make sense, however, it makes this scene very confusing, as, as I’ve pointed out, the ensign had a very limited number of cards, but exactly what the captain had asked for. Pure luck? what mind game was that Chad ensign trying to play with the poor man who was abducted from earth... we will never know.

One more very interesting thing is established here: The transporter room has a food synthesizer. Why this is is purely up to speculation. In my mind, having a food synthesizer in the transporter room would be like having a full kitchen where you park your car. Seems pretty useless, but maybe the guys in the transporter room requested easy access to snacks? Why the transporter room would get this special privilege is again, up to speculation.

Incident 6: Space Seed (S1E23) - Dinner with Khan

In Space Seed a special dinner is put together to welcome Khan onto the Enterprise. We see that they are being served colored food cubes and celery sticks. Doctor McCoy walks into the dining room and comments about how the display is “very impressive”. However, this seems like a very unusual comment considering we are shown the only food we have ever seen consumed on the Enterprise. What exactly makes this food “impressive” as compared to other celery sticks and colored food cubes? Is there some way to tell this particular food is better that we don’t know about, but is obvious to everyone on the Enterprise?

There is also a chance that Doctor McCoy is just very easily impressed with food, and upon seeing any food spread he is likely to comment in wonder. Note the way Scotty is looking at McCoy. His face is a mixture of confusion, judgment, and pity. Perhaps Scotty is thinking to himself “bruh, it’s literally just colored food cubes chill out man,”. There is no explanation as to why Scotty is giving McCoy such a look, so this very well could be the case. Even though it is a silly explanation, I don’t think it should be ruled out that one of McCoy’s personality traits is being overly excited about food of any kind.  

Incident 7: Journey to Babel (S2E10) Party food

Much like in Space Seed, in this episode, we get to see a meal put together for a special occasion. All the diplomates are getting down at a mixer where a spread of food has been provided. These snacks seem very similar to colored food cubes, however I do think they differ. They may be the same type of food, but different in some way. In which case colored food cubes is an overarching category of food, and here we see two different types. The smaller more brightly colored cubes can be put in drinks, though if this is what you are supposed to do with them, or just the preference of that one alien species I do not know. Though I must point out, we have seen colored food cubes served in brown sauce in What are Little Girls Made Of? (S1E8) so it is not completely unheard of to have your colored food cubes served soggy.

The other type of colored food cubes we see are a lot larger and more pair shaped (in reality, they probably were just skinned pairs dipped in food coloring, but for this essay, it’s important that we completely ignore the fact there is another life outside of Star Trek). Now to me, these are very interesting, because the dull color and apparent texture are a lit more similar to standard colored food cubes we have seen thus far. I would even go o far to say that this is the same exact food, just sans the cubed shape. So really, standard colored food cubes are just the cubed version of whatever this food is. This, again, is just speculation, but it does point us to the fact that colored food cubes are not naturally cubed (I’m going somewhere with this is promise)

Incident 8: The Trouble With Tribbles (S2E15) The trouble with Chicken sandwichs

Here we see Kirk attempting to order a chicken sandwich and coffee. What he gets instead is a plate full of tribbles,  hilarity ensues. I think this scene is interesting because we can add to our list of food items that are on the menu at the enterprise cafeteria: chicken sandwich. However, this is another food item we do not see. There is no way of knowing if the Enterprise's version of a chicken sandwich is what we would imagine a chicken sandwich to be. Much like the meatloaf and the soup, because we do not see it, there is no way of knowing if the food exists in the way that we as 21st-century people understand it. The events of TOS take place more than 200 years in our future, so to speculate that food could change a lot during that time isn’t a stretch. I don’t know, just some food for thought (lol)

Incident 9: By Any Other Name (S2E22) Living deliciously

In this episode, an alien taking the form of a human enjoys some colored food cubes. He makes a comment about how they are good they are while enthusiastically eating his food. This is a very important moment because it tells us that colored food cubes do taste good. In fact, they taste really good. Just before he eats, the alien comments on how humans could just take pills that give them all their nutrient needs and give up food completely (think the Jetsons cartoon). On the Enterprise, they do not eat just to live, but because they enjoy their food as well. This tells us that colored food cubes are at the very least, worth eating, and at the best, very delicious.

One more interesting thing: Spock is eating some kind of soup while everyone else enjoys colored food cubes. This could be a Vulcan preference, however, we know that Spock is vegetarian. This could be alluding to the fact that Colored Food Cubes are made out of meat.

Conclusion:

Yes, I asked a lot more questions than I answered. There are some things that make absolutely no sense to me, primarily, the food synthesizer and diet cards. Some evidence points to the fact that the food synthesizer can make practically anything (see Tomorrow is Yesterday, And the Children Shall Lead). However, one dietary card is equal to one specific food, which would mean they would have to produce a lot of these dietary cards if there is many meal options. How these cards are distributed, and what their limitations are, we do not know. And although we do not know the limits of what the food synthesizer can create, we do know these food have been served on the enterprise at least at one point:

-colored food cubes (variety)

-celery

-synthetic meatloaf

-synthetic turkey (Thanksgiving Special)

-Dietary Salad

-Milk

-Chicken Soup

-Chicken Sandwich

-Mystery Soup

-Ice cream (variety of flavors)

All of this food (except for maybe the dietary salad and celery) are synoptically created, so what they are actually made up of, I cannot say.

And finally, I would like to make a point about the colored food cubes. I think upon first inspection one would assume colored food cubes is a dish created specifically for space travel (think the food created for modern-day astronauts to consume in space). However, we learned that there is possibly a variety of colored food cube dishes. Since there is such a wide variety of food on the Enterprise, why would they also need to create a food specifically for space travel? I think that colored food cubes are actually a common dish, not intended specifically for space travel. Perhaps it was an alien food that got popular on earth, maybe it was a dish developed later in Earth's history by humans. I can only speculate, but I do think it is more than just boring space food. Everyone seems to have a preference for it, so I think it’s a dish you can eat over and over again and not get sick of. What colored food cubes taste like is completely up to speculation, but I would assume they are a savory food, considering we often see people enjoying them for their main meal.

I still have more to say, but for the sake of everyone, I’ll end it there. This was a lot of thought dumping, so if some of the things I said made no sense at all, I’m sorry. I’d love to hear some of your thoughts on TOS food! please share with me what you think colored food cubes would taste like :)