#i will PASS OUT from EXTREME SLEEP DEPRIVATION before i wake my cat up so i can lay down

[violettelueur]

— GOJO SATORU || JEALOUS TYPE

↳ featuring : gojo satoru from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of sleeping pills and grammar issues

↳ form : imagine

↳ published : 05 february

↳ pronouns : non specified in imagine

↳ word count : 1.3k

↳ synopsis : waking up without your husband in bed with you, you decided to go search for him only to find him filling out paperwork that was long overdue.

↳ request : Hi!! Can i request a gojo x reader where gojo is doing some paperwork and the reader cant fell asleep without him so gojo made her sit on his lap while doing some paperwork and the reader falls asleep? When gojo is finished in his paperwork he went to sleep with the reader in their bedroom. Can you please make it fluffy? Thank you! I also love all of your works!

↳ barista’s notes : so...awkward times when some of your coffee orders (requests) disappear from your inbox hahahaha.....ʕ ᵒ ᴥ ᵒʔ but after i have written some of my ideas, i will update the ‘coffees in progress page’ (wip) for you guys to see if your requested got/didn’t get deleted! i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please don’t be shy to order again soon ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

“When are you going to finish?”

Turning around from his seat, Gojo’s bright crystal eyes instantly caught the adorable sight of you standing by the doorway, wearing one of his large black jumpers paired with the classic black three-stripe Adidas shorts, as you covered your eyes trying to adjusting to the new lighting of the single lamp that was on.

“I’m doing some paperwork honey~” Gojo cheekily commented while twirling the pencil he was holding in his hand causing you to look at your husband in complete annoyance since you were the one that kept constantly reminding him that he needed to get his work done or he was going to sleep really late with the chances of him being at a slight disadvantage when coming into contact with curses - but, of course, he didn’t listen and using the excuse of ‘don’t worry, I’m the strongest’.

“I told you to do it earlier, why didn’t you listen to me?” you asked in an irritated tone, as you then processed to walk up to the ‘hard-working’ man causing Gojo to smile as he managed to get a closer look at you without him asking.

From closer inspection, Gojo could tell you were still extremely tired due to how heavy your eyes looked since it seemed like you were struggling to keep them open, your hair was tangled and messy but that was one of Gojo’s favourite things to see but he would rather see it in the morning rather than sleep-deprived as you were at this moment in time. 

Ever since you and Gojo established your romantic relationship during the second-year, he slowly began to realise that you would sleep as early as possible even when the shorthand of the clock just hit the number 7 in the evening. At first, he didn’t really care too much about it at first, he just thought you weren’t a night owl at all. However, he remembered one day you came into class with such dark circles, he couldn’t help but worry.

“Ahhh~ I have trouble sleeping in general, sleeping pills don’t work at all as well, so that’s why I sleep early.”

After that little discussion, Gojo made it his role to make sure you got enough sleep for the next day even if he had to stay in your room all night to make sure and it was still that same ever since you both got married. However, there were times when he had to overwork due to the number of missions that higher-ups passed on to him causing him to worry from time to time, but it seemed like you were slowly improving to which he was so proud of you for.

“Can’t sleep without me?” Gojo teased, leading to a frown to grow on your face which caused you to turn around as you weren’t in the mood to deal with his nuisance at 2 am in the morning. However, before you could even take a single step back to your shared bedroom, you suddenly felt a large hand wrap its fingers around your wrist leading to a halt in your moment. Gently, you were pulled back leading to you to lose your footing due to your drowsiness before an arm wrapped itself on your back preventing you from falling onto the wooden floor.

Blinking in surprise, you steadily came to the realisation that you now were on your husband’s lap as his other arm had dropped the pen he was holding to reach over to the couch where a spare blanket was placed, which was suddenly covering you from the cool air that was surrounding the room. “Go to sleep, I’ll take you back to bed when I’m done,” the white-haired sorcerer commented with a soft tone, causing you to look up at him before giving into the chance as your slyly wrapped your arms around his neck before pressing your face into his shoulder to get away from the bright light that your eyes weren’t still adjusted to.

Tenderly, one of Gojo’s hands began to run up and down your back trying to soothe you to sleep while his other hand went back to the pen that was abandoned to continue filling out the forms he was meant to do a week ago. Smiling, he leaned his head lightly against yours trying to relish the feeling of you needing him since he knew that the moment you both leave the four walls that were surrounding you, you wouldn’t show this vulnerable side to him. You refused to.

Comparing you to your personal life to your professional life, you clearly had two different personalities. When you were at school, you were cool, calm and collective, sometimes a little too blunt but there was a perfect mix of teasing that came along with it - clearly influenced by the one and only, himself. He vividly remembered the time when you joked about Fushiguro being the type to kick a stray cat after saying ‘such a nuisance’ or the time you joked that Itadori was the type to push a door that says ‘pull’ leading Kugisaki to laugh hysterically while both of the mentioned boys began to argue, yet the second you pat their hands and say ‘I’m only joking’, they both would suddenly calm down.

On the other hand, when you were at home with him or alone, you were more relaxed from your professional behaviour and sweet, leading him to wonder what switch did you flicker to change your brain. But he never questioned it. To be honest, he rather not since he knew the moment he would mention it, you would revert back to your work personality and not the kind and sweet one that was reserved for him.

“I would tell you to be more like that at work, but I’m too much of the jealous type,” Gojo whispered even though he knew that you were already asleep due to your light breathing pattern and how the tight hold you had around his neck slightly loosened. 

Signing off the last sheet that was on the towering pile, Gojo let out a sigh of relief before turning his head to get a quick sight of you, only to find that you were still in an unconscious state leading to the special grade sorcerer to look at the time on his phone to find that an hour had passed. 3:05 am.

Carefully reaching over to the lamp, Gojo flicked the switch causing the lighting to gradually disappear before slowly pushing out his chair as he looped an arm under your knees as he picked you up bridal style. Quickly making his way to your shared bedroom, Gojo began to gently place you down onto your side of the bed before slowly beginning to unhook the arms that were still around his neck. However, before he could even move to his side, he felt your hand instinctively grab his hand causing the playful man to look at you with a smile on his face as he looked down at your sleeping figure.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” Gojo whispered as he lightly stroked your cheek resulting in the grip of your hand to loosen as if you were awake to understand him. Climbing into his side of the bed, Gojo carefully pulled you into his arms causing you to snuggle further into the warmth that he was generously providing you before subconsciously wrapping an arm around his body wanting to keep him as close to you as possible.

“Yeah, I’m too much of the jealous type to let you show this side of you” Gojo mumbled as he slowly closed his eyes, following your route to a slumber that he had been desperate for since the moment he had you in his arms.

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[marveloussupernerd]

The Flu - SakuAtsu

Writing this for my wonderful friend’s bday !! Sorry it’s posted so late whooops also this is short af bc I might do a part 2 or something idk

Summary: Omi gets the flu, which is a rare occurrence, and Atsumu goes to take care of him. Pure fluff

Background: Sakusa is attending college in Tokyo and Atsumu is still playing volleyball in his home town so like still a commute for them

Omi never got sick. Man was one of the most careful people in the world — he always wore his mask when he was out and about around large groups of people, carried hand sanitizer with him and sanitizing wipes to clean off any surface he may have to touch (the handles on the train, for instance), and made an effort to keep his home spotless, even wiping down groceries as they made their way through the door.

So when he did get sick, it kicked his ass.

The last thing he needed was to get sick now, with an exam in a little less than a week. He had outlined what he needed to study, but hadn’t actually gotten to studying yet. And it wasn’t a cold... his high fever, chills, and congestion made it very clear to him it was the flu.

What was he going to do though? He had to skip class. At least today was a Friday, so he could spend the weekend recovering. He grabbed his phone and texted Komori, begging him to bring some medicine because he couldn’t imagine pulling himself out of bed.

He hated asking people for help, or showing any sort of weakness. That’s why when Atsumu texted him, he proceeded through their conversations like usual, trying to conceal the fact that he was sick until he finally passed out from exhaustion, leaving Atsumu’s texts hanging.

Omi never left the conversation abruptly. It made Atsumu uncomfortable, but he ignored it. He was probably studying. Still, he sent him a few messages to get back to him as soon as possible.

When a few hours had passed, he asked Komori if he knew what was up, and that’s when the cat was out of the bag: Sakusa Kiyoomi was sick.

It was the weekend, so it wasn’t like Atsumu had any priorities. He packed his bag, strapped on a mask, and took the train to Tokyo.

He always traveled this trip with a mask for Omi. His boyfriend was always so careful that he’d feel like a jerk for giving him a sickness he picked up on the trip because he hadn’t been careful. His boyfriend had, admittedly, rubbed off on him just a little—trains were gross and unsanitary and he couldn’t help but think about it from time to time during the trip.

His first stop in Tokyo was at a pharmacy near Omi’s house. He purchased some canned soup (there was no way he’d be able to make anything from scratch... he was... himself), medicine, a few boxes of tissues, the hand sanitizer Omi liked, and some ice cream for good measure. The next stop was to Omi’s place.

It was a good thing they had gotten locked out that one time and his boyfriend told him about the key he hid in the flower planter. He didn’t have to wake the sick man up at all to enter the house.

“Omi Omi!?” He called, not actually expecting an answer. It was pretty clear that he had been napping, and was likely still asleep. He just hoped his boyfriend wouldn’t hear him moving around and think someone had broken in (although technically, he had).

He went to the kitchen and wiped down his groceries with Clorox wipes to make sure they were sanitary before putting them away. He pulled open one of the drawers to grab a piece of notebook paper to write to his boyfriend.

Hi Omi <3 I’m in the shower. Love you lots.

Tsumu

That would be fine for now. He slid the paper under Omi’s bedroom door and went in the direction of the bathroom. He had to make sure he washed away anything he could have picked up on the train.

He liked using Omi’s body wash — it smelled like lavender. He had never been huge on the scent in the past, but now it made him feel all warm and fuzzy, associating it with his boyfriend’s scent. He made sure to wash every square inch of his body, leaving nothing up to chance, but still tried to get done as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to keep his boyfriend waiting (more like even though he knew his boyfriend was sick, he couldn’t wait to see him... it had been two months already since their last hangout).

He turned off the shower and shook some water out of his hair, going into his bag for a fresh, clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He pulled on the outfit then made his way to his boyfriend’s bedroom, knocking quietly on the door before entering.

Omi was passed out in bed, his phone next to him, blanket covering half his body. Atsumu strolled over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it next to his peaceful-looking boyfriend. He very gently placed his hand on the sick boy’s forehead, then put his other hand on his own forehead to compare. Yep. He was definitely warm. He tucked a stray hair off of Omi’s forehead and gently took his arm away.

He was going through a crisis of whether he should wake his boyfriend and inform him of his presence or not. He looked so relaxed, and it was probably hard to fall asleep to begin with. But also, he was very worried Omi would groggily beat the shit out of him when he woke up because he was afraid he was an intruder.

Yeah, sounded like his mind was made up.

He shook the man’s shoulder carefully. “Omi,” he whispered, trying to wake him gently. Luckily it worked, as the latter’s eyes peeled open slowly. “Hi,” Atsumu whispered.

“Tsumu?” He asked, his voice hoarse.

“Ya coulda told me you were sick,” Atsumu playfully complained, leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend’s forehead. “I was all worried.”

“I’m okay,” he frowned, but he knew that playing it cool wasn’t working. His throat felt all ticklish and he started to cough.

“You haven’t gotten sick since what? Middle school? Ya need someone to take care of you.”

“I don’t wanna make you sick...” Sakusa whispered, his eyes shutting.

“You won’t. Even if you do, though, I’m a big boy and get sick all the time too, so I’m used to it.”

“Fine. I don’t want you making me more sick because you were out,” Sakusa grumbled. It was clear he was actually concerned about his boyfriend’s health, but sometimes speaking this way was the only way to get it through to Atsumu. Tsumu was somehow the most arrogant and selfless jerk he had ever met.

“I wore a mask on the train and everything! Sanitized the groceries, took a shower before I came in here. All for you Omi,” Atsumu explained proudly, his back straightening a little bit as he spoke.

“Mm whatever,” Omi mumbled. He still hadn’t opened his eyes from when he shut them earlier. “Can we go to sleep now?”

“You want me to too?”

Sakusa reached out and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand, pulling it closer to him. “Cm’ere and lay down. This is the only time in your life you get to be big spoon.”

Atsumu carefully clambered over his boyfriend to the other side of the bed, plopping down beside him eagerly. He was trying to not make too many motions that might shake the bed and make his boyfriend nauseous, but he was extremely cuddle deprived and would be lying if he said he wasn’t on cloud nine. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. “Sleep tight Omi. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Omi slept like a rock for a few hours. Atsumu took a nap with him, woke up, went on his phone, checked up on his boyfriend, and those sorts of things. It had probably been about three hours when Sakusa started moving, tossing and turning and trembling.

“Omi? You okay?” He asked, reaching over to feel his boyfriend’s forehead for a temperature. It felt even warmer than before.

Atsumu clambered out of bed, rushing to the kitchen to get an ice pack and a glass of water. When he returned, Omi was now mumbling in his feverish state.

“Atsumu...”

Atsumu rushed to his side, sitting on the edge of the bed. He carefully put the ice pack on his boyfriend’s head, holding it in place despite Omi’s sudden movements.

“I’m here Omi. It’s okay.”

“Don’t...” he whispered.

He pushed the sweat-coated hair off his boyfriend’s forehead so he could get the ice pack on well. “You okay?”

“I’ll be better...”

“Omi? Are you dreaming or talking with your eyes shut? You’re freaking me out.”

“I’m sorry...”

“That’s not helpful for my question honestly.”

“Don’t go...” he sniffled, inhaling heavily, the congestion making it hard to do so.

“Dreaming it is.” Atsumu shook him gently, trying to wake him up. “Get up Omi, it’s just a dream.”

His eyes snapped open, then blinked furiously, a few tears escaping as he did so. “Tsumu?”

“It’s okay. I’m here. It was just a dream,” Atsumu cooed softly, dropping the ice pack and opting cup his face gently and stroke the tears off his cheek.

Sakusa sat up, scooting to his boyfriend to give him a hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck. “Had a dream you left. Said you didn’t love me,” he muttered. “I was still sick and everything.”

“I’d never do that.” Atsumu kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“I know. But I’m sorry Dream Atsumu did that.”

Omi laughed, a pitiful laugh that sent him into a coughing fit, but a laugh nonetheless.

“Oh! Let me check your temperature. You feel warm,” Atsumu remembered, scrambling out of his boyfriend’s grip to run to the bathroom cupboard and grab a thermometer. He quickly returned to his spot, sweeping his legs to plop down on the bed. He held the thermometer out towards his boyfriend. “Say ‘aw’.”

Sakusa sighed, rolling his eyes, then opened his mouth and let out a small ‘aw’. Atsumu put the thermometer in his mouth and waited patiently, silently, as the temperature was being read.

“102. Why is your thermometer in Fahrenheit?”

Sakusa laughed. “I didn’t realize it was when I bought it.”

A Google search later told the two that it was, indeed, a fever, but he would be okay.

“You sure you’re alright? You wanna take some more medicine and go back to sleep?” Atsumu offered, laying back on the bed.

“Not yet. I don’t think I can sleep anymore.”

Atsumu paused, a small smile forming on his face.

“What is it Miya? You’re scaring me...” Sakusa asked, averting his gaze from the blonde’s.

“You know what’ll help your fever? Ice cream. If you’re up for it, I bought a pint.” Atsumu offered, looking up at his boyfriend with a very small pleading look that said ‘please give me ice cream or I’ll cry’.

“Okay,” Omi smiled. “It’s going to help me get better, so how can I say no?”

[turquoise-stones]

Cinnamon Coffee

Shinsou x fem!reader

A/N: hey ya’ll I’m looking for shinsou fanfic inspiration, so if ya’ll have something you want to see dm me (no lemons plz). I wrote this a year and a half ago and there hasn’t been a shinsou fic since so... long overdue

. . .

Shinsou often blanked out most of the daily coming and goings of his day. After all, his daily routine was rather simple. Going out for coffee in the morning, going to class, going for a jog, then returning home to his beautiful... cats.

The hero in Shinsou's story was coffee. His endless sleep deprivation was especially apparent in the morning, and his wake up cup was the only way to look semi-alive. But how does a broke high schooler afford to buy coffee every morning?

With that in mind, he came to the realization that his true hero was the girl who he saw pretty much every morning. She seemed to be his age, and was the daughter of the owner of a cute little coffee shop called Red Bean Cafe, which served pastries and coffee at a jaw-droppingly affordable price. Not only that, but the customers all seemed to adore her.

Shinsou would specifically take a detour away from school to grab a deliciously simple cup of black brew from that cute barista. She made it best, regardless of the price. But as much as he wanted to get to know her better, he always had to hustle to class.

The familiar tinkling chimes greeted his ears as he walked into Red Bean one normal morning. The sun was just starting to peek out from behind the clouds, casting the small shop in a tranquil, golden glow. It was moments like these that Shinsou tried to remember, and not take for granted in his busy day.

There were just a couple sleepy looking people sitting in the cozy booths. The barista, (y/n), as her nametag said, was quietly frosting cookies at the counter.

There was something magical in the way she looked, cast in that gentle light. Her hair swayed slowly around her face as she moved, hands expertly squeezing swirls of frosting onto cookies. The cute way she leaned back to take a sip of coffee before pushing her glasses up and returning to her work caused warm fuzzies to emerge in Shinsou's heart.

As she noticed him come in, a cheery smile bloomed on her face, and she waved sweetly at him. He greeted her with a small smile as well. It warmed him up inside to know that she recognized and was happy to see him.

As he neared the counter, she set her frosting down and whisked away into the kitchen, quickly coming out with the signature takeout cup. She had a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. Before he even opened his mouth, she gracefully slipped the coffee across the counter to him.

"House blend, no sugar, no milk." She had a playful smile on her face, voice still quiet as to not disturb the other patrons. His wide eyes turned into a soft chuckle as he paid.

"Thank you..." He really had grown quite fond of her. Not just because she supplied him with his morning dose of energy, but for some unknown reason, he had started looking forward to just seeing her in the mornings. Maybe it was the adorable way her melodic voice would tinkle when she called his name out for coffee pickup, or maybe the way she smiled so purely to greet him as if she was as happy to see him as he was for her.

Yes, he found himself entranced by that girl. And judging by the way her eyes sparkled as she talked to him, he was sure that his feelings were reciprocated.

With a satisfied smile on his face, he took the warm cup in his hands and said a thank you before turning around to continue his walk to school.

"Ah, please wait a moment sir..." Her quiet voice came. He noticed the cute way she called him sir, even though they were practically the same age.

"Hmm?" He turned around, letting his sleepy eyes return to her. Her hair fell over her eyes as she fiddled with the ends of her apron.

She seemed to regret her spontaneous outburst for a second, before she fumbled with a rather large cream topped cookie and stuck it out to him with an embarrassed look on her face.

"I-it's on the house. I hope you like cinnamon." She stuttered, blushing slightly, looking down. Little did he know, she knew exactly who he was, he was in the Sports Festival after all. His handsome features had instantly drawn her in, and his determined personality and straightforward words kept her hooked.

But she knew that it was rather weird to just tell a stranger that you knew them, but she did want to get to know the mysterious purple haired boy. Thus, an offering of a cookie. Shinsou let out a tired chuckle and took it from her trembling hand.

"I love cinnamon. Thank you very much." He reached out, purposefully brushing his fingers against hers for a second before accepting her gift. With a parting smile at her flustered form, he left the cafe. God, she was just too cute.

. . .

Since that day, Shinsou had wanted to make the sweet barista a part of his daily routine as well, not just her coffee. But he found himself unable to stay and chat with her because she had other orders to fulfill. He noticed with a smug sense of pride, that she never gave anyone else an extra cookie.

So one day, he dragged his sleep-deprived body out of bed early enough actually spend time in Red Bean, instead of just grabbing a cup and beelining out.

The familiar bells tinkled as he pushed the door open for the hundredth time. She waved energetically from behind the counter, frosting cookies before rush hour.

"Good morning sir! You're so early today!" Shinsou had once decided to ask her to call him by his name, but he enjoyed being called sir a little more than he should of. Little did he know, (y/n) was just avoiding the fact that she had mildly cyberstalked him.

It was another beautiful sunrise lit morning, and not a single person was in the shop. The cafe looked straight out of a fairytale, and the center of attention: she and her cheery presence fit in perfectly. He glanced at his clock, it was barely past six.

With a small wave, she slipped into the back, he assumed to grab his prepared cup of house blend, and wrap up a cookie for him. He never ordered one, but she always gave him a yummy pastry. He thought they were so tasty anyway that he didn't have the willpower to say no.

But he didn't like the fact that he took cookies for free (even though she wrapped one up every day without hesitation), so he always made it a point to pay in the form of a tip, a caring fact about him that she quickly noticed.

Silently, the perfect amount of money was given, and the coffee was passed over. He hesitated a moment, not really knowing if he should talk to her here, and opted to simply settle down in a cushy chair.

He munched on the flavorful cookie, aimlessly looking at her bustling figure, frosting-coated fingers brushing a speck of sugar off her nose.

She noticed his gaze with a small smile, noticing that he was actually sitting down, before making the decision to put off cookie making for a moment, and joined him instead.

With a quiet huff, she plopped down in the seat across from him, giving him a nervous smile. He tilted his head to the side, taking another bite, watching her settle in and sip some coffee of her own. There was a comfortable quiet in the air as if they were old friends having a day out, instead of strangers. Today, it seemed as if the cafe was for the two of them and the two of them only.

"Try the coffee out... I put a little extra something in it." She chimed quietly, soft voice blending in effortlessly with the dreamlike quality of the room.

He raised an eyebrow over his raised cup, before cautiously taking a sip. The dark, rich, familiar flavor of the mysterious Red Bean house blend washed over him before a deliciously sweet spice snuck in on him in the end.

"Mm... you put cinnamon in it." He mused, before taking another long sip, savoring the new flavor. It was quite a tasty change from his daily routine.

He thought she looked so adorable, with her chin in her hands and elbows on the table, leaning toward him slightly to get a good look at his reaction.

"What do you think?" She asked with a slight smile on her expectant looking face.

Looking at her doe eyes, he smirked slightly, a naughty idea crossing his mind. He set the coffee down, leaning in closer to her until he was inches away from her face.

She flushed, with a wordless stutter, confused at his sudden proximity. But she didn't pull away, opting to stare at his glimmering eyes instead.

"If you want to know so bad... why don't I let you try some?" He murmured, before pressing his lips against hers.

He didn't see her eyes widen in surprise, as his were closed to enjoy the moment. She felt his mildly chapped lips tint hers with the bitter touch of coffee, before a sweet taste of cinnamon. She hesitantly moved her lips against his, liking the feeling of having him so close. All too soon, he pulled away, leaving her dazed.

"What do you think?" He rasped quietly, looking with satisfaction at the trance-like expression on her face.

"I- er... uh... good? I-It was really sweet..." she sputtered.

He raised his eyebrows at her in amusement.

"S-shinsou... don't look at me like that..." She chattered, her burning embarrassment scattering her thoughts. While she considered the purple haired patron extremely attractive, she never thought that he would ever kiss her.

"Oh, so you do know my name." He stated smoothly, leaning back with a smirk.

She hid your face in her hands, cheeks burning as she realized her slip up.

"I-I... well, you're kinda f-famous! A-and... I write it on your coffee! And yeah!" She sputtered, shaking her head and rocking slightly in her seat.

"I like the way you say my name... I think I even prefer it over 'sir'..." He took another quick sip of coffee, causing another firework of red blaze to erupt over her face. After a moment of silence, she spoke again.

"W-why did you kiss me?" She mumbled out. "That was my first kiss..."

He quirked up an eyebrow, feeling a little guilty. But he couldn't have helped himself.

"I was your first kiss? Sorry I didn't ask... but I'm glad I took it before someone else did." He smirked, after realizing that she wasn't really angry. He leaned an elbow against the table, resting his cheek on it, playfully looking at her.

She looked down slightly in embarrassment, twiddling with the ends of her hair. She shifted a bit, before brushing her hair back and looking up.

"Well... now what?" She fidgeted awkwardly. Shinsou leaned forward, smoothly lifting a pen out of her breast pocket. His proximity to... that area caused her to blaze a blush that outshone the sun.

He scribbled his number down on a napkin before sliding it over to her.

"Call me and maybe I'll answer that question." He smiled smugly. (Y/n) nearly fainted at how smooth this boy was being.

Just then, a tired looking patron walked into the shop, looking around for the missing cashier. Sending Shinsou a final flustered glance, she snatched up the tissue and scampered away to the cash register.

With a satisfied look on his face, he scooped up the remnants of his food, before slipping out the door.

Taking a sip of his delicious drink, he decided that this adorable little cinnamon roll of a girl would definitely become a part of his daily routine.

[anyu-blue]

Busy as a bee

~

*sigh*

I had this big long thing typed up.. it's all gone now. That's twice it's happened. Let's see if third time's the charm.

It was about my trying to figure out how to talk about the shit I've been going through without just dumping it all on someone and having it be totally unjustified too...

I'm mad at my dad. I'm mad at Tevs... I'm mad at myself.

Basically...I'm frustrated that I'm seen as so much lesser than everyone else.

I know it's like 'no you're not!! You only think you are!! They love you!!' ... I've been smacked both literally and figuratively for saying 'you guys treat me different/unfairly compared to x'... But.. gods at this point I. Just. CAN'T keep believing them or telling myself that when the evidence is right in front of me. I feel like I must have done something REALLY BAD and BIG for everyone to pull away so hard... But at the same time... I... Can't figure what it is or how. I've asked too, but the closet I've gotten to an answer is 'You're too much, Meek.'

I know I sorta... Became a worse recluse than I was (kinda I'm response to that. Trying so hard NOT to be too much)... But I kept telling and telling and telling I was available and offering what I could and more... I kept trying to deal- if I need something I would provide in return, just name the price... Did I forget or fail to follow through with something? Or something? No one can think of anything to tell me that didn't have a legitimate reason if ever I did (as good as or better than they have given me) that I shared up front and sometimes in advance with them. I even went into detail about what might happen if I am asked for help on a bad day- I tend to be a bit grumpy if woken up, but will still be there to help and will apologize for any harshness as I am going about it. I do that- but... Nothing.. and every single person has offered and practically forced (in W0lfie's case) all of the stuff I've asked for onto anyone but me. Need help finding/getting a good word in for work! Sure!! *Gives me links to indeed and Job service sites I'm already on/refuses to say my application is in the mix for positions at their workplaces or downright says they don't know if I'm a good worker even though I gave them my sick day and late count and all that fun stuff to pass off or downright doesn't tell me there's a good opening they know about*

Oh such-and-such is happy where they're at? So-and-so Can't hold a job because they keep quitting? *Gives information about good jobs and puts in a good word for them and sticks their neck out to get them hired.. is surprised when the offer is rejected by the family that says they're already okay with their current work or the unreliable friend they got hired quits*... Oh woe is me, I need help and there's no one to turn to!! *Refuses to call me knowing I have the day off, have my phone on, and have said I'm free that day... Asks literally every other person even the ones that demand payment for the job or can only do a part of it.. or just ends up doing it themselves by dropping another important obligation instead of calling me*

:(

The most common excuse for that last one is. 'oh I didn't want to make you more stressed.'

Um... I offered? I was here the whole time? What...?

*sigh*

I suppose I wouldn't be thinking of that stuff or be so upset by it all except for the fact I'm told these things and then I'm shown (and told) this last week people think I'm EXTREMELY lazy...

My dad and everyone else wants me to/thinks I should work more than 3 days a week... Or should get on disability if it's 'that hard.' Obviously they've never tried and seen THAT shit show... I have looked into it. Not only have I gotten treated like something to be disgusted by friends, family, medical professionals, and jobs alike (because it's oh so despicable to be on social security while young and spry- even though I have medically frail on my damn chart I'm apparently 'young and spry'- fuck you) when I've tried to pursue it, also being on it ISN'T a cake walk.. the restrictions. The WORK you have to do (and the work you can't do!! I'm right in the middle and technically can work too much for disability, but not enough for getting by on my own). The shit you have to go through... My own therapist told me some programs I could pursue would put me further behind where I am and I could possibly never get out... And she was the one that pushed me to get foodstamps, so it's not like she thinks they're hooey...

My dad thinks me working 3 days a week and refusing to do more lest I break down all the time is just.. lazy.. unfortunate... Stupid. He wants me to take all these homeowners and car buying and loan classes... Like I'm EVER going to be able to afford a single one of those things.. or think it's a good idea to throw down $25-$150 a pop for a class, let alone spend 8 hours taking one (I'd love to and think they're amazing things, but uh...)... Like somehow it'll 'convince' me to 'work harder'.

DUDE.

What.

The.

FUCK.

Is WRONG with you?!

I get it... I seriously can't work more days a week. If I do, I completely spiral out of control from the pressure as well as the guilt from spiraling and and.. you get the idea. I just do. I know I do. And I found my balance in 3 days on.

It's pretty easy to think 4 days off are, well.. 4 days off. 4 days to play. 4 days of freedom. But... I make things... I've made two blankets already. One more I'm working on.. usually AT work because I'm so busy. Birthday gifts. Christmas gifts. Holiday gifts. Trying to do commissions too to get more money in. Also.. em... I'm usually awake during the day to.. make appointments because my health is just a mess.. helping the friends that HAVE asked for help... Running errands because I can't at night (partly due to Covid changing everything's hours)... Or if I HAPPEN to get to.. I'm sleeping because I'm on a night schedule.. at night if anyone had need of me I'd be right there!! But guess what, THEY are sleeping. If I actually have a night off (which I haven't in nearly a month now because I CAN go over to my friend who needs help's house at 5 in the morning.. after I drop W0lfie off at work or I'd be there sooner.) I'm DOING things. Wednesday itself happens to be dedicated to FIXING my sleep schedule that I screwed doing everything my sisters need or want me to do during the day... It's up to ME to screw MY sleep so THEY can get or have what they need/want... Never mind they refuse (with legitimate reasons) to do the same for me (though I have legitimate reasons I could say no as well, but ooooh I'm the 'bad guy').

*rubs face* I'm so busy my mind and body is screaming at me in pain. Sooo lazy 🙄

But yet I'm shit because I refuse to work more.

Idk what it is, okay? I. Don't. Know. Maybe it's the fact that I'm Autistic and something overloads that hasn't been address like ever and so has only gotten worse (this is my guess), or the PTSD is doing something (my therapist's guess--- which not to derail but WHO ELSE IS IN THERAPY IN MY FAMILY?! you want to guess? That's right, NO ONE... No one is even TRYING to deal with theirs, and I don't just mean the pandemic. Big sister had it as bad, if not worse than I did. Refuses. Dad and step mom knows they do. Little sister scared. Little bro disinterested. 'There's no time' or 'costs too much' despite several having free sessions available to them via their job and Heath insurance- with multiple options- and everyone but little sister making more than they ever have in their lives on top of relying on others to pay any bills they can't keep up on... GRR).. or something else that just makes me become such a wreck. I hate it more than anyone else, you know.. because I have to live with it AND everyone telling me how lazy and lucky and entitled and how 'much' I am.

...

And you want to know what sparked all of this?

Tevs worked a 12+ hour day that ended up having me woken up by the cats that hadn't been fed.

Let me explain... Tevs and I got into it badly after I was continually deprived of sleep because she was working so much and blaming me for 'making' her deal with stuff at home I didn't even know were problems. She continued to explode and explode and treat W0lfie and I TERRIBLY after work as well AND continually told our other friends and family she so desperately needed a vacation and LESS work, and just kept pulling 10, 11, 13 hour days she didn't have to... All while not eating or drinking or having bathroom breaks... and I was DONE with it. I have and had offered to do more, just need to be directed on what needs to be done that I can do while they're asleep (duh) so she had no leg to stand on there... With the rest... She promised to not work more than 10 hour shifts (agreed upon because I have a 10hr shift at work with no breaks too) AND to either let us know in advance if she was going to be late so I could feed the cats, or have someone do SOMETHING to get the cats fed so they weren't deliberately jumping on me to wake me up... You know.. communicate a little more. Do a little better so she wasn't killing herself working. She promised.

Well..

Apparently (new information to me) a promise and Tevs giving her word.. are two different things. Promises don't matter. Giving her word had weight.

What. The. Fuck.

So MY getting upset this last week that not only was she working more than 10 hours... Not only did she not tell anyone about it.. not only did the cats come to wake me up (after I had FINALLY fallen asleep a short while before due to just how BUSY I was that day, and it was Wednesday 😭)... But she also REFUSED to speak to ANYONE and tell her where she was/that she was safe- completely and deliberately ghosting everyone... Until she showed up at my dad's house 12+ hours after the start of her shift in which she didn't eat, didn't drink, and didn't use the bathroom for the entirely duration..

...

I was told to back off. That my upset was unfounded. That I was just like our horrible mother and I was just trying to control her life.

Does that sound right to you?

It does to my dad. I would wager my step mom. All of their friends. And of course Tevs.

Nevermind that W0lfie was just as freaked out and upset... That she actually has a front row seat as to what I go through now/how hard I try to be kind and careful and respectful and relaxed and NOT controlling and finally gets it... And that she's now directly effected by all of it too... And agrees this is MESSED UP as hell...

No.

I'm shit. I need to work more. I need to move out and be on my own. I need to not rely on anyone. I am 'too much'.

Where did it all go wrong?

I now understand exactly why I felt and still do feel unloved. It's because of this stuff... I got smacked and told I was never alone or on my own.. that I had so much support and help... but.. well.. yes I was. My mind and abilities and more belittled or looked over in favor of others to bring up. Everyone is guilty of doing this to me in my family. I won't go into details because it's a lot. Many times.. many bad ones... Often I was told my reality wasn't the truth too. How is that supportive? I appreciate every bit they have ever done for me, but trying to point out where they fell (just like all people do).. I'm suddenly the most ungrateful thing ever.

My own parents rely on each other AND a third party (their son) to pay the bills... My dad's siblings both live with his parents... My step mom's family members live with each other and rely on one another to get bills paid.... Not a single one is forced or really suggested to go room with randos if they can't do it on their own. It was brought up to W0lfie that it's an option for her this last week... But guess fucking what she got that I didn't AS WELL as that.. "We'll always have a place for you here."

I did get that when I was younger and nearly kicked out for refusing to tell my mother I was Trans. I eventually caved, but, HA they didn't believe me. That mess was sorted out.. messily and I got to stay... Lucky me... Not to mention the fact that only NOW I might finally be able to just accept it and not closet myself for the sake of everyone else because I'm THAT done.. yay therapy. I'll accept being non-binary because I can never actually be a man the way anyone around me will ever accept or believe.. but I'm not accepting 'being a woman'. Screw you peeps XP

...

I don't get that kind of support because I'm their eyes.. I'm too much. Should be able to do it on my own. Too lazy. Too awful as Tevs has managed to paint by completely omitting important details.. I can't say things in a few words. I just can't. Because this is exactly what happens... But regardless.. that's all she ever shares. Just enough I'm a monster. I'm sick and tired of it.

Reminds me...

My dad and mom and the rest of our family would never get birthday gifts or holiday cards or anything if I wasn't around. Same with our siblings. I remember. I make. I remind. I push. But... They don't even know about that. About what I try to do for them that gets twisted to look like it's all Tev's doing because I often can't make it to deliver it myself... And when I do idk.. I guess I do it wrong or something because it's so... Blah of a response.. like they think I'm NOT responsible for it and just taking credit... That hurts. A LOT.

...

I'm going to try. One more time. Once more. With Tevs. Give her one more chance to make and keep her word. To not bulldoze and make excuses and talk me up like some sort of unreasonable monster if/when she doesn't... And one more chance for my parents to hear me out. Get the full story. Get my feelings and experiences in return. On Monday I might have a chance to lay it all out. Maybe. I want to try. And if I get the same treatment.. well.. I think they might just be cut out of my life if I finally make it out on my own like they want. (Hopefully something income based will open up for me.. hopefully... I'm considering looking into a different city altogether to well and truly get away from them.. but that would depend on getting a job too.. bluh)

Ah that's a another thing too though.. the thing is.. I CAN work. I CAN pull 7 days a week, 16 hour days without spiraling!!! Making. I am a crafter. If making dresses or cosplays or embroidering or making blankets or trinkets or... If I was able to do THAT.. I could work and work and work no problem... Maybe even drawing..

But with the stress of this job and my other obligations, I can barely touch those things to even get started... Stick in the rut.. and materials are so expensive if I need anything extra I hit a roadblock... Totally locked in... And it breaks my heart...

I'm not lazy... I'm in the wrong job 😞

[flarebossmalva]

so i’m still in the hospital for now; i think they’re going to let me go tomorrow. my mom brought me my laptop so since i’m here i thought i’d just go ahead and tell the story of the past few days lol, it’s been Wild

monday night around the time i went to bed is when the pain started. i was confused by it but figured i could sleep it off. spoilers: i couldn’t, and on tuesday it was even worse. i spent most of the day in bed, curled up in the fetal position. again, i didn’t know what it was about but just assumed it would eventually pass. the pain was in my lower abdomen, all the way across as opposed to just on the right where the appendix is. i wasn’t nauseous and had a normal appetite, nor did i have a fever or any other symptoms. i also don’t have a family history of appendicitis. basically, the possibility that that might be the underlying problem did not even occur to me. i thought it might be ovarian cysts, a lyme disease flare-up, even wondered if i was for some reason going to have a period this month despite being period-free for over a year now.

anyway, seeing the state i was in, my mom suggested i go to urgent care. i felt like this was probably a waste of time but i also know that i’m a dumbass with a high pain tolerance and no self-preservation skills, so i decided to listen to her advice. we went to urgent care. the doctor there said he couldn’t figure out what the problem was exactly, but worried it might be serious and suggested i go to the emergency room for an ultrasound. so we went to the ER.

by this point it’s like 9 pm. i get admitted fairly quickly and brought into the waiting area with the other patients. around 10-something they finally take me to have the ultrasound done. i have to explain how being trans works to several doctors. the ultrasound hurts and takes a really long time. i learned later that the ultrasound tech couldn’t see my appendix on the ultrasound at all. they decide to give me a CAT scan. i get scanned around 11:30 pm. shortly after this, a doctor asks me how my pain is and if the meds are working. i haven’t been given any meds. they decide to rectify this by giving me some sort of drug cocktail that rendered me extremely high, but only kind of helped with the pain.

at this point it’s past midnight, i’m high off my ass and tired, i figure they’ll let me go home soon and if the mystery pain persists i’ll deal with it later. around 1:30 am a nurse shows up to tell me that the CAT scan showed that i have acute appendicitis and i’ll need to stay the night, then undergo surgery the following morning. i’ve never had surgery before and the concept of surprise emergency surgery is objectively pretty alarming but i’m high as balls, so i just tell her “okay” and then try to go to sleep on the gurney, which doesn’t work.

around 3 am a different nurse takes me upstairs to the room they’ll be keeping me in before and after the surgery. i’m still high and she’s very sleep-deprived so we made very dim-witted small talk on the way up there. once i’m in the hospital bed i pass out in short order despite still being in a lot of pain.

in the morning they bring me down for surgery prep. it takes a really long time and i’m in a ton of pain, which i mention to one of the nurses. she tells me she’ll “get me something nice” and that’s the last thing i remember until i wake up post-surgery, so i guess it was real nice. 

anyway, the procedure they did was minimally invasive, meaning that instead of one big incision i have three smaller ones; i haven’t peeked under the bandages but i expect each is at most an inch long. they ache a fair bit but it turns out the pain from having three holes cut in your stomach is not nearly as bad as the pain of having your appendix try to murder you. given the state of things in there (again: gangrene!!!) i have no doubt that this could have killed me if it wasn’t caught sooner and i’m still processing that tbh. they have had me on intravenous antibiotics since tuesday night and i expect i’ll be on them until they let me go tomorrow. i was kinda worried they might not dose me strongly enough for the surgery because i have a high tolerance for most drugs, including some localized anesthetics, but whatever they gave me absolutely knocked me flat so that’s cool. right now i’m on hydrocodone so sorry if this post is written a bit weird, i’m a bit drugged up. anyway that’s pretty much the full story. i’m recovering well and i’m looking forward to going home tomorrow

[mysticwhatnow]

Can you make RFA + v + saeran cheats on MC than she knows but they don't know she knows. She take everything she owns and wipe her existence from their home ( takes everything she put and the photos she's in ) than leaves her phone so they won't track her and leave them without a word just a proof of what they did. How would they react to it / how it'll end. I'll leave it to you ^^ thank you :3 bounce is MC was pregnant and didn't tell them.

Oh, jeez, this was slightly difficult! But I hope this is to your liking!

Yoosung

he didn’t know how it happened, honestly??

one day he was at college and the next he was in a bed with another woman?

he felt so bad, he wanted to tell MC but he knew she would probably leave

he couldn’t lose her

so he kept it a secret, and continued the affair with the woman

only because she was helping him study,, uh-huh, sure yoosung

but of course, MC does find out

and b o y is she angry

she’s so upset and she’s so angry with herself for not finding out sooner and upset at yoosung

especially with the baby she just found out she was having with him

and she was so excited about that too!! 

but now she doesn’t know what to do

she ends up wiping everything clean, going incognito completely

she leaves her phone and takes the photos and everything

she doesn’t want any trace 

when he comes home he loses it, he knows what happened and what he just lost

months pass and they’re still hoping she might one day show up again

yoosung ends up seeing her at a market and drops everything

he rushes to her and stops dead in front of her when he sees the stomach bulge

had she moved on?? 

she tries to ignore him and move on but it’s so painful and she’s trying not to cry

he keeps explaining what he did was a mistake and it was reckless and he’s sorry and he won’t do it again

it’s just a lot of frantic apologizing and rambling that she had grown to love

so she gives in, but it’ll take a long time for her to forgive him completely

surprised, he asks her about the baby thinking she was with another guy and stuff 

she doesn’t say anything for a moment and speaks softly

“it’s your child” and he’s d e a d- his child?!?! seemed like the guilt doubled at that 

she had to deal with a child on the way and the fact the father cheated on her

he hugs her close and apologizes more saying he’ll never do that again

in the end, the two end up happy again, plus a tiny little bab!

Zen

it was with one of his co-actors

mc was coming to give him his lunch and walks in his room/thingy ma jiggy

finds him making out with a actor against the wall 

she drops the lunch and doesn’t give it second thought, running off

zen sees her, going to chase after her but the directors and others are getting in the way

when he reaches home, he’s to late, everything it gone

the pictures, the phone is left, and her clothes are gone

how did she move so fast?? 

he ends up alerting the rfa fast, begging for seven and jumin’s help

he needs to find her, he needs to apologize

they search for her and search, but they don’t seem to have any clue where she might be

he’s completely heartbroken, but never gives up

until one day, he gets a call

“are you related to MC?” 

his heart drops because he knows how this works

he explains how he’s her ex, and leaves it at that

“sir, i’m afraid she’s passed away from a car accident.”

just when he thought it couldn’t get worse

losing her? forever?

the doctor also explains how she was pregnant and they delivered the baby before she died

and explained how he was the father

he doesn’t hesitate, he figures it all out, signs papers, whatever. that baby is his and he won’t hurt it

he ends up raising the child and always tells he/she how great mc was

but he still cries as night, because he knows he won’t ever see her.

mamamystic is not a nice person

Jaehee

i can already hear the cries

“jAEHEE WOULD NEVER!!! SHE’S SO INNOCENT!!! PROTECC!!”

please she’d probably be staying at work late right and just is so fucking tired

so this one girl slithers right on up like “hey you need a place to crash?”

and i don’t know about you

but i make the worst mistakes when i’m sleep deprived

so she could’ve easily mistaken this chick for mc 

so she goes, right 

easily submissive, tired, got some of that good puss ya feel

of course, mc being the generous person they are, goes to Jaehee’s work

also to deliver the news that hey, the sperm donor thingy was successful. she was preggo. 

but she gets there, and to her surprise, no jaehee

so she asks around, blah blah, and one person explains how jaehee went home with another chick

now, mc isn’t one to assume, so she calmly leaves and just goes home 

doesn’t even call

she trusts jaehee, maybe she was doing work at the chick’s house

so morning comes, ye?

and jaehee comes home, super early, super super fucking guilty

but oh me oh my mc was there

she was w a t c h i n g 

mc ends up speaking from the couch, all calmly and startling the shit out of jaehee 

“so where were you babe?”

jaehee ends up telling her, furiously apologizing

mc doesn’t really know to react because she?? trusted jaehee??

but she does know what she’s gonna do 

she just,, fucking leaves 

not even saying anything

just out the door

jaehee knows better to stop her so she just

collapses on the couch

doesn’t show up on the chat

neither does mc so both are extremely worried

jaehee leaves for work (jumin forced her), and when she gets back, all of mc’s shit is gone

she doesn’t know how to react, but she buries it well 

she hides all the emotions, she just says “mc left” if anyone ever asks

it got to the point the whole rfa was worried sick 

they couldn’t find mc at all

so they eventually just.. gave up

she became nothing but a distant memory

(hahaha get it i made this ending sad)

Jumin

breathes in. breathes out. 

okay so jumin,,, tsk tsk. he would never ever hurt mc, but a few slip ups happen here and there

im sure something happened at his work, or the dude just fucked up

he probably ended up banging some girl while drunk in a cat suit for god sakes

anyways, he probably would tell mc right away, because he loves her and can’t lose her blah blah

anyways, i’m sure when she found out she was devastated because knowing jumin

she was informed of this over phone while he’s on a trip

the call goes well, she pretends it’s okay but inside she’s breaking

and what’s worse is she was just about to tell him the results came back positive

thats right. mc is pregnant fuckers. 

and she’s just, broken and she doesn’t know what to do except to run

so she does, she packs her shit, everything into the multiple suitcases 

it’s not hard to bypass everyone, if she explains she’s off on a trip to the spa or something

she manages to explain how she’d rather walk to said ‘spa’ to relax 

but really she’s just, leaving

nowhere else to go

she ends up disappearing though, and whenever jumin calls and doesn’t get a answer, he panics and calls the guards

but there’s literally no sign of her, all her pictures are gone

jumin freaks out more because 1. he knows what he did and it’s his fault and 2. he’s worried mc will get hurt

he ends up bringing out the big guns, goes crazy to search for her 

he comes home straight after, alerts rfa and everything. 

everyone’s on a wild goose chase to find her

eventually they find her, thanks to seven finding her friends’ places and doing a big ‘ol search, even if she left her phone

which she obviously did, she’s not stupid

by this time a couple of months has passed, because ya know, i said so

when they find her (she had been staying at a distant cousins house a few states away)

they knocked on the door and it wasn’t the guards or anything, no it was jumin

he looked like a mess, for once in his life

he was acting just like when he lost elizabeth

he begs and begs and apologizes (professionally, ofc)

just kidding

he notices the baby bulge too and it doesn’t take an idiot to do the math and realize

it breaks him even more because she kept it and he didn’t even know

it takes a lot of persuading and a lot of lost trust needed to be rebuilt, but she eventually does come back

she loves him even if he fucked up

many months later, things are back to normal- somewhat

they now have a little tiny munchikin :oo

Saeyoung

big big oof

see now saeyoung,,, saeyoung just fucked up really

he knows it too when he wakes up the next morning and he’s not in the same bed and you aren’t around

and the girl next to him is totally unregistered in his mind and he knows nothing

but unlike the others, saeyoung would probably say something and knowing him, make a small (or large, depending on how he views the situation) deal out of it

either way, mc would be pissed

because last week she found out she was pregnant with his child

so tears running down her face, she actually begins to pack right in front of his eyes

now he’s breaking down, begging her to stop and beginning to cry

he even goes to grab her hand but she yanks it and slaps him right across the face

“don’t fucking touch me, who knows where those hands have been.” she most likely snarled under her breath because WOO she’s upset. 

they don’t have a lot of pictures to begin with, so she doesn’t worry about those. she doesn’t even bother with his phone

as she’s leaving she turns, goes to grab his hand

he thinks she might change her mind or something to keep her from leaving 

but it’s actually just her phone and a sad and broken smile

me rn: nsgrejghkjfjhdfkhdk

and then she just.. leaves. and he can’t track her, he can’t do anything

saeyoung goes… completely opposite

he grows distant with the rfa, and he gets harsh and more cold

jaehee is a CONCERN MOM

thankfully, she has her ways, and her and mc were always close

so she finds where mc is staying (with her parents) and calls

basically she explains and like, begs mc to at least come over

mc can’t really say no. she loves saeyoung and she adores jaehee

so she does, arrives to his place and everything

before she can enter the arabic thing, it opens and seven’s there with tears and almost trips when he bends over and apologizes

like. a lot.

mc got to like 100 before she told him to stop

they talk, obviously, about them and about her baby

yes, saeyoung it’s yours

he’s mixed with sadness and so much joy

months down the road, you guys are better and with a little baby

mc doesn’t regret coming back to saeyoung thank god

Jihyun Kim

oh boy.

now, see here

jihyun probably just did a small fuckity uppity.

basically, he went to a photo contest and won, so a lot of girls were on him 

and drinks were there

and it went from 1 drink, to 2, to 5.

it didn’t go well, especially when mc had traveled all her way to surprise jihyun with her pregnancy test

so when she arrives at his hotel and finds it unlocked with clothes scattered everywhere, her heart drops

then switches to angry like nu-uh hunny no one cheats on me

she walks into the bedroom and tosses clothing at v, giving him a startling wakeup

she’s yelling and ranting and then finally tosses her phone and pregnancy test 

“hope you’re happy” is the last thing she says before slamming the door and leaving

v is.. DISTRESS.

he chases after her, lotsa stumbling and half nakedness too.

but she’s already out of the building

she thankfully gets a ride and manages to find a hotel to stay at

she doesn’t talk to anyone, so v has to suffice for the explanation

it doesn’t go so well either with the group

just like the previous ones, they’re upset and angry

mc definitely never deserved that

and v knows that

so he takes it into his own hand. he doesn’t return, but literaly S E A R C H E S for mc

day and night

it’s becoming draining, and he’s using her phone and only the memories of her to help him

and eventually he finds her

and he’s just, so awful and distressed mc has to double take

“what are you doing v?” and he just, breaks down apologizing

he’s crying, it’s some nasty crying too

he’s begging for her forgiveness, down on his knees and grabbing his hands

mc doesn’t really know what to do,,, honestly

she’s so conflicted? but she knows he loves her and she loves him

so with hesitant moving, she bends down and just,,, hugs him

and if you’ve ever seen someone breaking down worse but because they’re so happy

yeah that’s v lole

they end up staying at the hotel a bit longer to detress and later on, have their baby!!! its very cute and i love v thanks

Saeran

why.

okay so,, i imagine he met them from mint eye? just a friend that also got out of mint eye too?

(oops spoilers)

so anyways they start messaging after saeran and mc start dating and saeran is a bit clueless

until she shows up at their literal house and comes and is like

“mmm yes saeran” and he’s like “nOoOoo!” 

but for plot yea it happened

can you tell im tired

anyways so he wakes up and he realizes and he’s just,,,so guilty

but like saeyoung he’d tell mc

but he’d make it very blunt, yet very emotional so mc is a very big ????????????????

she’s so hurt and so angry, especially after coming back from the doctors

but she can’t just,, leave the two siblings alone

so she ops for the couch, even though saeyoung is confused

when he finds out though he’s so concerned, especially because later during the night he sees saeran occasionally pop his head out to stare at mc who was asleep on the couch

“dude, you fucked up” “it wasn’t my fault?” “????????????”

so saeyoung and him talk about it 

yes, saeran was guilty for going through it, but saeran hasn’t exactly been used to all this 

mc had to understand this, and saeyoung was sure she did

but despite his efforts, saeran and mc can just... not talk 

mc’s to upset and bothered about something, and saeran doesn’t just understand

so when saeyoung finally forces them (with a bit of exasperated yelling)

mc blurts out “im pregnant”

silence.

saeran just... stares? “is it mine?”

“of course it is you dimwit.” 

that breaks a bit of tension because she laughd and saeran cracks a much needed smile

so they do talk

saeran explains his point and mc explains her point

they eventually understand, and comfort each other

mc goes over to hug and saeran’s just... smiling and saeyoung feels proud 

and proud of himself but yknow

later on they have a cute little brown haired baby with orange eyes and theyre so cute!!!!

HEY GUYS!!! IM BACK!! I took a severe long hiatus because I lost interest in Mystic Messenger, but recently got the game again and here I am!! I hope you all haven’t missed me to much. 

[jungnoir]

Can I please request this prompt “Hi, I saw on your dating profile that the only criteria you judge potential suitors on is whether they’re a dog or cat person…?” additionally, “You’re pretty cute so I’ll give you a pass if you pick the wrong answer.” with Seokmin because he just loves dogs!!! So Much!!!

the barkchelor;

lee seokmin | “Hi, I saw on your dating profile that the only criteria you judge potential suitors on is whether they’re a dog or cat person…?” additionally, “You’re pretty cute so I’ll give you a pass if you pick the wrong answer.” | 1.8k words. | fluff, humor.

a/n: to celebrate the oh my! comeback, here’s a lil something sweet I’ve been saving! and yeah. I stole the title from a try guys video.

You didn’t consider yourself particularly “bad at dating” (could you do so without being biased? …well…). However, it became pretty clear when all the possible suitors at your job were a bust and finding someone on the weekends ended with a very superficial goal in mind that love was just…. incredibly evasive. And only for you, it seemed.

You were at a place in your life where you felt stable in everything; in fact, the only thing you could think of that was missing in your life was someone special. You liked being single because it was freeing, but you couldn’t help but long for someone’s hand in yours when you’d take a stroll on the town, couldn’t help but imagine someone’s arms wrapping around your waist while you prepared a semi-edible dinner, couldn’t help but lay awake in bed sometimes and think about how much you’d love to have someone curled up against your back fast asleep.

So, after a few drinks and a marathon of rom-coms to leave you more than a little romance-horny, you turned to a dating app.

You weren’t going to lie, the first week on there was hell.

Every single person you wanted to match with either didn’t match with you or turned out to be extremely gross when it came down to the actual “getting to know each other” part. You would dedicate at least a small part of your day to looking through profiles like your friends had recommended, but if anything, your success in finding someone even slightly your type went further down.

But, like all things, the best part can come when you least expect it. For you, it was right before you were going to delete your profile.

Most of the people you saw on here were usually mean-mugging the camera or posing far too stiffly to be realistic, so when you were met with a photo of a chocolate poodle staring right at you, big dark eyes practically begging for you to swipe right, you were puzzled. It was currently midnight, you were struggling to keep your eyes open, and you may have possibly found the best suitor on this entire app… and he wasn’t even human. Underneath the poodle’s picture was the name “Seokmin” followed by his age, “21″.

It was only when you started to click through the other pictures provided that you realized that the poodle was not Seokmin (as a much more sober and well-rested mind would have told you). “Seokmin” turned out to be a guy with a smile that lit up your phone screen and stilled you in your tracks. Dark colored hair laid neatly on top of his head, parted to the side to nicely frame his face. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a large dog laid across his lap looking like it was having the time of its life, and if you could tell anything by the faint pink lines running down the insides of his arm, that big dog must’ve been a handful. The same poodle that had caught your eye in the beginning was seated next to him in the photo, licking at one of the scratches that it might’ve had some help in causing.

Out of the six pictures he provided, only one of them was without any four-legged companions swarming him, and most of the ones that did have pups in them featured the same chocolate poodle somewhere in the background.

Eyes drifting down to his bio, you were dumbstruck again. He didn’t mention any hobbies, didn’t include a witty joke like most guys on the site, or list any of the things he was looking for in a partner except one.

Dog or cat person? Choose wisely.

You blink at the short and incredibly cryptic bio, your forehead wrinkling while your brain brims with confusion… and curiosity.

Hell. What could you lose?

Swiping right, you blink when you realize that the two of you have matched. You see the option to contact him. You know in your mind (somewhere) that you should save doing such a thing for later, but… it was midnight and you didn’t have anywhere near the patience to wait that long.

By the time you’re actually in his messages, your mind is on auto-pilot. You have a plan to send him something quickly and head to bed, probably to wake much later and delete the app when you find that even this cute but slightly strange guy is somehow, someway, a weirdo. You had long since abandoned your bad pick-up lines and jokes, the excitement and hope to find someone having died down exponentially by the time seven days had gone by. Besides, the guy had given you something to start with.

You sent:

hi, I saw on your dating profile that the only criteria you judge potential suitors on is whether they’re a dog or cat person…?

You stare at your message with the very last bit of energy you have, checking for any spelling or grammatical errors, but there is nothing to really worry about. That, or maybe you’re too tired to be able to tell. Whatever it might be, you can set your phone down and let yourself succumb to the warm caresses of sleep with ease.

Until you wake two and a half hours later, your phone vibrating against the back of your skull mercilessly.

You blearily look around the darkness of your room, thankful that it’s at least a Saturday and that you don’t have work in three and a half hours, because otherwise you might have pelted your phone across the room in annoyance.

Carefully fishing the offending device from behind your head, you hold the brightly shining phone away from your face a few inches as to not blind yourself. You realize that you hadn’t hooked it up to the charger, a habit of yours that came only when sleep captured you before you could think to do so. You try to think of the last thing you’d done to be awoken like this. That is, until you see three new messages on your screen from the dating app you were supposed to delete earlier.

Seokmin sent:

That is correct! Sorry for the late reply, I just got home from my friend’s place.

You’re pretty cute so I’ll give you a pass if you pick the wrong answer.

:)

Were you… was he serious right now?

You push yourself up from the sheets of your bed, flipping on your lamplight to stare at the texts more closely. Sure enough, he definitely really sent you those.

A small, disbelieving laugh leaves your mouth as you think of what to say. There isn’t much to him in your mind yet. He’s a cute guy, he apparently thinks you’re cute, he seems to know a lot of dogs, and… well, that’s it. If he wasn’t so handsome and you hated dogs, you would have definitely swiped left, no questions asked.

Also, what was up with “wrong answer”?

You sent:

there’s a wrong answer? sounds pretty biased

also, it’s pretty clear which answer is correct given your affinity for the canine population

Seokmin sent:

Welllll, the question is are ~you~ a dog or cat person, not me.

Don’t mind my preference :)

You couldn’t quite fathom why you bothering to have this conversation, especially seeing as it was 2:36 a.m. for the both of you and you were as in your right mind as a rubber duck right now… that didn’t even make sense, you were so not in your right mind right now. But hey, did that stop you?

You sent:

alright, I’ll play

dog person. and this is a completely honest answer, by the way

Seokmin sent:

Could I humbly request a photo of a dog you’ve met? It would be even better if you were in the photo

You sent:

you do realize how weird you sound, right

Seokmin sent:

Hey, you’re a stranger. How do I know you’re not just lying about being a dog person to get me to like you?

You sent:

weren’t you the one who liked my profile first?

Seokmin sent:

…you have a point

So no pup photo then?

You sent:

(image.jpg)

the pup in my lap is named skittles and he’s my friend’s dog who i’ve been strategically trying to kidnap for three months

Seokmin sent:

Adorable

You sent:

ikr? he’s the sweetest

Seokmin sent:

😅 Actually, I was talking about you

but

Skittles is a runner-up for sure

You heart lightly skips in your chest at his response, your lip immediately being sucked between your teeth to nibble. Before you can think up a smart reply which might have taken you all night to formulate, Seokmin is sending something else.

Seokmin sent:

(image.jpg)

I saved this photo of me and Coco for anyone who struck my interest enough, so here you go. Consider it a thank you for your pic :)

You stare at the photo, unable to even admire the adorable poodle in his arms when he is right there. You weren’t one to be quickly drawn in by someone’s looks, but this Seokmin guy… he was an exception. Right off the bat, you’d already thought him attractive, but after having talked to him, that thought was hammered ever deeper into your sleep-deprived mind.

You sent:

Pretty handsome

Seokmin sent:

Coco?

Oh

Wait

I see what you did there 😅

You sent:

:)

i think your smiley faces are rubbing off on me

Seokmin sent:

People say my smile in real life is contagious too

You sent:

we should test that theory one day

but first

i’d like to know more about you, mr. dog person

Seokmin sent:

Shouldn’t you be sleeping? I don’t want to keep you up…

No, perhaps a little while ago you might’ve agreed with him. You would have wished him goodnight because realistically, he’d be there in the morning when you woke up. But, maybe you were possessed, because you never felt more awake than right now.

You sent:

i’m not tired. are you?

Unlike before, Seokmin takes a while to reply. You know that you shouldn’t be upset if he’s honest and tells you he’s pooped and he’ll talk to you later, but the thought that he might makes your mood slightly deflate. You hadn’t had such a nice conversation with a guy like this in a long time, an embarrassingly long time actually. As impatient as it sounded, you weren’t very excited to let this spark of curiosity die as soon as it was ignited.

You begin to twiddle your thumbs as one minute turned into two, two turned into three, and then it happened.

Your phone vibrates in your lap.

Seokmin sent:

I couldn’t be more awake.

And hi, I’m Seokmin. It’s nice to meet you formally :)

You sent:

hi, Seokmin. I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you too :) so, besides dogs, what else are you into?

So yeah, you didn’t consider yourself particularly “bad at dating”. You considered yourself “waiting for a Seokmin to come along”, and boy was it worth it.

[the-static-silence-of-pastels]

Married At First Blood — Play on Married At First Sight,

Other names may include: The Internet Ordained Minister Virgil, Minister Virgil, “I Do” Not, How Virgil Became an Ordained Minister Online and What Came of it, The Wedding of The Century (That Didn’t Really Happen), Why Roman and Logan Don’t Trust Virgil When He Asks Them to Do Things Anymore, Married Before Bloodshed. (Other title ideas may be added when thought of)

Virgil becomes an ordained minister online, thinking nothing of it and just having watched a video about someone who did. This becomes almost comically convenient as the next week Logan and Roman break out into the worst fight they’ve ever had. With little time to spare, Virgil mumbles out what he knows of the wedding pledges, then asks Logan and Roman to both say “I do”, pronouncing it an experiment to calm his nerves as they’re rapidly rising. Both feeling a little bad they both say it and Virgil just smirks, pronouncing them husband and husband, “you may now kiss the groom”.  It’s at that point two bands wrap around Logan and Roman’s ring fingers and where once they thought Virgil was just acting silly to keep calm, they now know he was serious. Logan immediately files for a divorce, slightly offending Roman to a degree, but Roman seconds it. Virgil says he won’t allow it until they stop arguing and gives them a sentence of six months married before he even thinks about allowing a divorce to be filed with him — the only ordained minister in the room, and the only one even remotely willing to go through with divorcing Logan and Roman since Patton is so happy and trying to find rice or something to throw (honestly he gave up and is now showering Logan and Roman in cookie crumbs and dry fusilli), Deceit and Thomas are just happy they’re not arguing. 

Their marriage goes just…just swimmingly. For about two hours. Then Logan leaves to go to his room and finds his room is now also Roman’s room and has a fit over it, blaming Roman for merging their rooms which kicks off another bout of arguing. While they do that Virgil and Patton calmly sip at hot chocolate and gently contemplate whether it needs more milk or more marshmallows, they decide on both. 

After their argument is somewhat over, Logan having lost his voice and Roman wheezing so bad he’s had to drop to his knees to breathe properly, Logan strips to pyjamas and hops into bed, calling out hoarsely that he was there first and therefore Roman is sleeping either on the floor or on the couch, Logan doesn’t care where so long as they’re not in the same bed together. Roman agrees but wants the bed to himself, they fight again, each trying to get the bed until Virgil yells at them to be quiet and go to sleep and they come to the consensus of a pillow barrier, broken down halfway through the night when Roman can’t sleep because of slight insomnia and decides to get up and watch movies in the living room with a pile of pillows. He gets back just in time to see Deceit gently hushing Logan back to sleep, and is concerned for his fellow side. Deceit is able to convey that Logan has nightmares often, though he refuses to admit it, and Deceit is the only one he’s been able to trust with that information, since it is extremely hard for him to convey the truth at times, leading to Deceit being the one to wake him up and calm him down before hushing him back to sleep. Roman asks softly if Deceit would like him to do it, not really wanting Logan to go to the other side when he could have leaned on Roman all those years he had nightmares, Deceit accepts and tells Roman that without his glasses Logan won’t know who is with him — a blessing and a curse — so he could get lashed out at for trying to help, or he could get Logan crying into the pillow for hours on end. 

As it turns out Roman talks to Logan later when he’s awake, asking if he’d like Roman to help with his nightmares, promising to protect him from them. Logan is a little hesitant, but agrees seeing Roman so adamant about helping him and it comes back around when Roman is watching a movie and gets scared that night, needing Logan to hold his hand before he starts to calm down and stop imagining monsters in every corner or that he heard a creak outside the door. The pair sleep soundly that night, Roman waking only once to hold Logan through a nightmare. 

A week passes and they’re getting along surprisingly well, Roman keeping Logan’s nightmares a secret and Logan staying up with Roman to watch horror films and help him through them. Their arguments are less about who is better and more about if Mulan could beat a grown Merida in a fight and who would win what events. Of course, their arguments always come around, but the build is slow and the tension is never there anymore, both refusing to partake in it for the entertainment of their audience when it’s asked for in a script. And while this is happening Roman writes stories for Logan as bedtime stories, reading them out dramatically to help ease Logan’s nightmares. Logan, meanwhile, offers an idea — they watch the horror movie Roman wants to watch earlier on and then finish up with a Disney film to get Roman’s mind off the movie and then finish the night up with pictures of cats before Roman reads the story and they turn in for the night. 

Things seem to be getting better before a script they’d planned months ago goes through and ends up giving both of them nightmares — one where Deceit takes over Logan’s position for a few minutes in order to try and gain favour by suggesting that he’s a better logic than Logan is, which is something Roman (acting) agrees with but Virgil and Patton voice concerns and are able to show Roman that they are all needed — but it brings up concerns that Logan is inadequate, and, on Roman’s side, that Roman thinks Logan can be replaced which he knows isn’t true and makes him feel like a villain. They split up awkwardly, Roman saying that Logan can take the bed while he takes the couch. It ends with both unable to sleep and eventually Logan enters the living room, gets a drink of water, downs it in one go, and slips onto the tiny patch of cushions, bumping his head against Roman’s. They make eye contact and silently agree that they’ll never leave one another like that again, choosing to clasp their hands together and fall into sleep together. (Found later that morning by Virgil and Patton who take a few photos and decide not to bring it up, but Virgil takes some really aesthetically pleasing pictures of their left hands clasped together with their rings on show which Patton makes his home screen background.)

A day or so passes and they don’t really talk, just have silent conversations with their eyes and body language. But for once Roman makes Logan laugh and it makes his whole day hearing that, even if it was due to Roman slipping down the last two stairs while in socks and bumping down the rest to the floor with a soft moan of pain, he isn’t hurt too bad (minus his ego but that gets a huge boost when he sees Logan actually smiling and laughing). Logan asks if he’s okay and Roman says only his ego is a bit bruised, and Logan says without thinking too much that it’s a pity he can’t kiss Roman’s ego better. Roman says he can and they both blush before Logan pecks him on the cheek and leaves to go do some work. Roman stands in the kitchen for around half an hour, just gently rubbing his cheek with a small smile. Then Virgil walks in and reenacts an old video with him —

“The heck is that? What the heck is that a hecking smiling Roman? Eh, don’t hecking smile like that, that’s a weird looking hecking smile. Pat, yo there’s a weird looking Roman in the kitchen! I don’t want it starting a fight with Logan! Logan it’s okay” *kissing noises* “It’s okay Logan don’t worry about it. Pat! Pat, there’s a weird hecking smiling Roman in the kitchen it looks- it looks like Roman but smiling the hecking thing. Oh, hey get the heck out of here, I don’t even know if that’s hecking Roman. Blink, mothertrucker.”

“Virge what in good Athena?” *moves and looks at Virgil*

“Ahhhhh!”

(for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuC-y-SYqi8 )

This reference goes over both Logan’s and Patton’s heads, but Roman gets it and chases after Virgil for making him Wilfred Warrior, “This Stray Cat Looks Like Grandma”, when he clearly is not. But it’s enough to get a little laugh out of Logan which makes Roman stop in his tracks completely like the roadrunner — running, running, running, complete stop in naught-point-one seconds. 

About a day passes and, honestly, things are just like normal except there’s not as many arguments and disagreements. Logan and Roman just have a genuinely lovely relationship and it’s wonderful, marvellous really. But then someone has to throw a wrench in the gears and that someone isn’t Deceit or Virgil or Thomas, but Patton. See now, Patton didn’t mean to, but he was talking to a very sleep deprived Roman and Roman mentioned Logan’s nightmares, so Patton got concerned because “my child is having nightmares and didn’t tell me” so he gets into a weird emotion spiral of sad and concerned because “does he not trust me? What did I do wrong? How can I rectify this?” and ends up asking Logan the next morning if he had a good night and then asks how his nightmares are and if there’s anything he can do to help, unbeknownst to him Roman had been sworn to secrecy about it and wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. This revelation that Patton knows about his nightmares points Logan to Roman and he is so angry that Roman told Patton about something so secret and private because Patton said it in front of Virgil so not only does Patton know but Virgil too. Logan doesn’t leave their room for the entire day and locks it to spite Roman who just wants to talk things over but is getting less patient by the minute. In the end, Logan decides to reconcile but Roman has moved past it and doesn’t want to, not thinking about it and calling Logan a child for not confronting his fears, regretting it immediately because now Logan looks betrayed, hurt and sad, not even angry at him just so done with him. Roman admits he was wrong, but the damage is done and Logan refuses once again to come out of their room until Roman is at the door begging on his hands and knees (though Logan didn’t open the door for him but for Virgil who said he needed to talk to Logan about something). He tells Logan everything, Patton apologises for taking in the information and spreading it without asking Logan about it in private first, and Logan apologises for not hearing Roman out before then. 

Though they say they trust each other and forgive one another, Logan seems to not fully trust Roman as he once did, and while it may not be completely Roman’s fault he understands that Logan needs time and is happy to allow that. But it takes its toll on both of them, Roman wanting Logan to trust him but not being able to gain that back through any means, and Logan not being able to tell Roman when something is wrong or when he has a nightmare. And that blows up in their faces when Logan has a particularly nasty nightmare, Roman watched a long line of horror movies, and neither can get to the other when they’re needed most — both paralysed by fear even though they can feel the fear that the other is putting off. But they manage to overcome it and both meet at the top of the stairs, each nearly in tears but so thankful the other is there and okay that they forget the tears and just hug it out. Before they support one another back to the bed and curl up against one another close enough they’re sharing breathing space, which is usually something they don’t do because personal space, but right then and there they don’t care and just need the comfort the other side presents. 

There are a few slip-ups eventually, when things settle back down once more — a moment where Deceit and Logan are looking over pictures of the “wedding” (they might have stolen an album from Patton to have a look at weddings they’d been to and what the ideal one for them would be) and Roman maybe gets a little jealous and defensive, but it’s sorted out extremely quickly when Logan confronts him and tells Roman that he’s jealous, Roman accepts he might have been and they discuss why he was and how to remedy the problem. Something similar happens with Logan a week later where Roman promised to take Logan with him on an adventure, but ended up taking Virgil instead which angered Logan because “you promised and yes I know I couldn’t make it but why did you have to go with anyone anyway, questing is stupid, you’re stupid, no you’re not but I’m emotionally unstable in here”. Roman helps him work through it by showing him that there is no “extra special” relationship between himself and Virgil, rather he needed someone and Logan couldn’t go because of his duties and while Roman would have preferred not to go along with the closest thing to the bane of his existence since before they learned Virgil’s name and had his arc, he still prefers Virgil over Deceit. To make up for both feeling so jealous they have a night out in Roman’s second room, a picnic under the stars that is followed by several comedy movies and a few romcoms. 

There is the idea buzzing around that things will get really awkward when Thomas begins dating again, but when eventually they find someone Thomas likes it turns out to not be that big of a deal. Since their relationship is mainly platonic, they have no problem with one another mooning slightly over another male in the vicinity and when eventually said male turns them down and breaks their collective hearts, this ends up strengthening the relationship between Roman and Logan since they have one another to go to for comfort and this works splendidly for Thomas’ mental and emotional health (about the same for physical though). It does bring up old memories and after looking through the man’s Instagram they see he’s recently gotten together with a very handsome man who at present appears to be studying astrophysics, which kind of crushes both Roman and Logan. Roman due to the sheer looks department and the fact the two look so happy together, and Logan due to the fact the other man is studying astrophysics, so — according to him at least — the other man is much smarter than they are which is supposed to be Logan’s forte. They comfort one another, Logan assuring Roman that looks don’t truly matter in the grand scheme of things and that, eventually, they’ll find someone they want to be with too, and Roman comforting Logan and assuring him that he’s plenty smart. It begins to escalate a little though, before they flashback to a time when they thought their issues were more important than the others; when Roman thought not being handsome enough for someone was more important than Logan’s worries over not being smart enough, and vice versa. That calms them down and they’re able to get a grip and come together over the issues they face, chiding themselves for thinking they’re not who they want to be. 

At some point, they have to go to a real wedding and Logan’s eyes light up at the same time as Roman’s, they turn to one another and they share the same train of thought - “I want that.” So they plan a proper wedding from the flowers and napkins down to what they want to wear and, surprise among surprises, Logan decides to wear a wedding dress - “I’ll never get to wear one again, they’re unprofessional to work in, so I might as well try it out at least” - and Roman plans to do up his normal outfit with some other touches that make him look a lot like a naval officer in formal getup, even though he was going more for a fairytale prince aesthetic. It upsets him a little to he asks Logan whether he can wear a half cape in red, Logan really doesn’t care all that much but does ask Roman for advice on what material he should make his dress out of. Yes, they are imaginary so yes they can make their own outfits from scratch. They’re actually surprised by the skill and competency of one another when they finally have to do their vows in front of a very grumpy, but still happy, Virgil whilst Patton waits on the sidelines with rice like an assassin who just wants to throw rice over people. They do their vows and as part of their schtick Roman stops the wedding for just a moment to offer up a small bouquet of blue roses to go with the “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” - the other items are; the ring from when they first married (old), the dress Logan made (new), and three “borrowed” items from the other sides (Virgil made his shoes, Patton made his veil, and Deceit embroidered gold into the train he made for Logan - not exactly borrowed but they don’t really care). In the end, Logan does throw the bouquet but before the other three can quarrel over who is catching it, Roman grabs it and smirks. The bouquet is taken apart and the flowers are dried and pressed to go into an album of the wedding - made mainly by Deceit and Patton with Virgil doing much of the photography. They gift it to Roman and Logan after their “honeymoon” phase (they spend a few days in their bedroom just sleeping in and eating whatever they want before binge watching movies they both want to see). The album goes up on a special shelf above their bed with a framed photo of all of the sides at the wedding and the last of the bouquet sitting inside a glass bell jar with a white ribbon around the handle. A nice little reminder that this time they consented to getting married and had fun with the concept.

(I had way too much fun googling wedding dresses so imagine a white dress - long, with either an A-line or a princess/ballgown skirt - backless with a few pieces of lace (either alençon or venise) around the edges of the opening, sleeveless (sweetheart neckline with the possibility of an illusion neckline) with a defined but lowered waistline, and a few golden leaves and branches decorating one side of the waist and one side of the top of the dress, along with a few around the bottom of the dress. Either radzmir, mikado or tulle as the skirt with the traditional three layers and an underskirt made of satin, but this would be an optional part of the dress. For the bodice; either pure white radzmir or mikado, perhaps satin, either something that’s a depature from the tulle or somehting that connects seamlessly from the bodice to the skirt. The train would have to be either be between a court train and a chapel train, or practically non-existent (he could pull off a watteau train but he’d need to add sleeves, possible cap sleeves, but sleeves nonetheless. The veil would be either an Elbow Wedding Veil (roughly 32″) or a Fingertip Wedding Veil (roughly 38-40″) with gold flowers and leave embroidered around the bottom (because Deceit can be extra like that) and held in place with either a nude/brown headband or a crown of gold leaves and flowers (because we like gold very much, it is pleasing to the eye). A pair of 3″ white heels with some gold lace covering the white (if he’s feeling up to it) or a pair of 3″ white heels with white lace and fake diamond studded flowers. If we’re going less gold and more silver/white/diamond-y change all the gold to white with a few fake diamonds.)

[lethesomething]

The definitely not definitive otome guide

I sincerely doubt the world needs this, but that sort of thing has never stopped me before. Have an extremely biased guide of several dating sim games, organised by some arbitrary metrics.

Word of warning: this will be long (4k words), because I've played an embarrassingly large amount of otomes.

As a disclaimer: obviously this is a personal opinion. If you (as a lot of people do) enjoy the more forceful bad boy type in your dating sim, I’m not going to judge you. I, however, don’t, so this list is very specifically going to call out games for how they treat the protag.

Featured here: Amnesia: Memories,  Blood in Roses, Cutie Demon Crashers, Destined to Love, Dream Daddy, Hatoful Boyfriend, Hustle Cat,  Ikemen Revolution, Ikemen Sengoku, Lost Alice,  Midnight Cinderella,  Monster Prom, Mystic Messenger

A note on play styles.

These games come in a few flavours, which is important to know if you're gonna try them.

The vast majority of the mobile games here follow a basic visual novel structure. You pick a guy and read through the different chapters, and depending on your answers you'll be leaning toward one of two or three endngs. Since these are free to play mobiles, there's a bunch of challenges you will need to log in daily to pass.  

Mystic Messenger is the main outlier, since it's a chat simulator that plays in real time.

The pc games tend to be more complex, with interlocking routes and more endings, generally. You'll need a number of skill points to meet character A for instance, or you'll need to do a series of actions to reach ending B.

  Great games

Ikemen Sengoku

Hands down one of the best mobile otomes out there right now. I found this when searching for pics of Masamune Date (from a different game) and I've sort of been obsessed with otomes since.

Platform: Android (free to play, pay for premiums) Story: MC gets sucked into a wormhole and finds herself 500 years back in time, in Sengoku era Japan. She drops in on the exact moment where Nobunaga Oda, the Demon King, would be assassinated at Honno-ji. She stops the murder, disrupts the timeline and now there's a bunch of hot warlords vying for her attention. Protagonist’s spine: Reinforced steel. This is one of my favourite protags, because she is Super Sassy and doesn't take shit, unless she's literally being threatened with a sword. The protags where I feel like I understand their actions are few and far between, but this is one of them. Except when she goes far beyond mere bravery to get her man, and decides to forgo tampons and, like, wifi, to live 500 years in the god damn past. Squick factor: Low. This game is made by Cybird, a company that appears very big on consent. The guys generally treat MC with respect, probably more than could be reasonably asked of a Sengoku warlord. The only worrying stuff happens in the Obvious Yandere route, but you kinda know what you're getting yourself into with that one.

The Good: I friggin love the writing for this game. The guys feel like real characters, there's a ton of interaction between them and I need to give this game extra points for the story events, which are almost invariably gold. This is where the makers stop giving a shit about realism and just go for what they want to write. There's ones where all the guys are suddenly idols, there's a Christmas episode, there's one where they battle through cooking and cleaning. It doesn't take itself serious, is what i mean, and it's Hilarious. The Bad: This is one where the in-game art (aside from the CG's) is actually not that great. Hideyoshi's smile is kinda weird looking and the models feel a little outdated at this point. Best Warlord: This is very difficult, because a lot of them are dreamy, but let's just say that I need a Mitsuhide route so very badly.

 Ikemen Revolution

The newest Cybird game and my current fave.

Story: MC falls down the rabbit hole when she tries to give a rushed White Rabbit man something he dropped. She ends up in Cradle/Wonderland, where war is about to break out between the Red and Black army, the Hearts and the Spades. Everyone is hot dudes and MC is considered Alice the Second (after the one from Through the Looking Glass). Squick factor: Low. Again: Cybird game. This means there is steamy situations and sex scenes, but they're blatantly consensual. The routes I've played so far keep well within the bounds of what I would consider romantic. Protagonist’s spine: Varnished wood.  In general MC is self-propelling with occasional bouts of bravery. You can tell why she's doing the things she's doing and how she reacts to situations feels sort of logical. She's hard-working and caring and a little naïve, but the fact that she's canonically a woman from early 19th Century London does put a lot of her actions in perspective (like the amount of bullshit she puts up with).

The Good: The writing is fun. There's a good mix of angst and just… general comedy. The characters interact with each other a lot, and it feels like they're a big loud family, especially in the Black Army, which is more like a frat than anything else. The art is also decent. The backgrounds are utterly gorgeous and most of the guys are very good looking. When I first started the game I was weirded out by the blinking animation, but I have since gotten used to that. The Bad: I found some of the plot rushed. Like you spend so long slow burn growing toward each other, and then suddenly stuff has to happen action movie style because we're running out of chapters. The final chapters of Fenrir's route were just plain dumb. Like could that BE more of an obvious trap. Come on MC, I expected better of you. Also, since this is a very new game, not that many routes are out (four at the time of writing). Best boy: Hooo man. Of the routes that are out, Ray is very… oooof. But my fave chars are probably 'so done' Sirius (the fact that he's voiced by Suwabe has nothing to do with this, surely) and 'also quite done' Kyle, who is both a doctor and an alcoholic wreck of a human being.

 Mystic Messenger

You know Mystic Messenger, it's like one of the biggest otome's of the past few years.

Platform: Android, iOS (free to play, pay for extra saves and stuff) The Story: MC follows a text message to a weirdly high tech apartment and this somehow puts her in the position of party planner for a secretive group of weird people. It only gets more complicated from there. The game plays out in real time, via chat conversations and the occasional story segment. Squick factor: Um. I personally wasn't weirded out, but I also decided very specifically not to play Jumin's route. This girl did her research. The routes in Another Story are also very over the top and would probably bug me. While I love the Saeran character, I don't think I'd be able to handle that route. So: highly dependent on chosen route. Protagonist’s spine: Adderall. It takes a specific kind of person to download a chat app and follow the instructions given by a random stranger therein. It takes a much stranger person to sit in an apartment with a bomb and just keep inviting people to a party. MC is on a different level from us mortals.

The Good: I loved the game mechanic, because it felt very real. The player is following a chatroom, just like the character is. Besides that, the story is completely bonkers and I appreciate that. The Bad: Did I mention it plays in real time? Because it plays in real time, meaning you get chat conversations at two in the morning. I was very sleep deprived when I played this. Best boy: 707. Dude is funny and deep and hot and relatable and smart and I want to give him all the hugs.

 Dream Daddy

One of the few decidedly mlm games I've played so far. You've probably heard of it since it was the subject of much hype and much controversy. Markiplier played it. Friggin Buzzfeed has video's on it.

Platform: PC and Mac (it's on Steam) The Story: MC is a Dad who moves into a neighbourhood with a lot of other single(-ish) dads. Time to work it. Squick factor: Low. This is primarily a humour game: there's a ton of dad jokes and silly mini games, and a distinct lack of kabe don's. The canon routes are all very thoughtful. Protagonist’s spine: Barbecued sausage. Player Dad just goes for it. He’s flexible and caring enough to handle the more sensitive subjects, and self aware enough to deal with random crime and weird drunks.

The Good: I remember opening this game and, in the character creation screen, telling a trans friend of mine 'omg you can wear binders', and the sheer Glee of his reaction. That's the kinda stuff this game was, partly, made for and it is appreciated. I really liked the tongue-in-cheek writing, most of the jokes landed and the whole thing is just a lot of fun. The Bad: Some of the minigames are annoying. Why the hell are you making me play Bejeweled with fish? I also had a hard time sympathizing with some of the kids. I mean… Lucien straight up tries to murder someone? Ernest is 'rebellious' but he's also an ass. Best dad: Damien has the best route, but have you Seen Mat? Holy moly.

 Not worth it games

Amnesia: Memories

This game should come with a friggin warning, so I'm giving it here. Its popularity and star rating is a terrible indicator for how much you may enjoy this game. It presents itself as a cute dating sim with gorgeous art, but it devolves into straight up horror, and not in the good way. This feels like a guidebook written in the 1800's to tell young women their place. Not even mortified intrigue could make me finish this. 

Platform: PC (Steam or Google Play) and PlayStation Vita Story: MC wakes up with amnesia. Someone hurt her and she doesn't know who to trust. You'll need to figure out what happened. Squick factor: Super high. Like… so high.  Everyone treats MC like shit and she just lets it happen, even developing all kinds of Stockholm Syndrome as she falls in love with these asshats. MC's childhood friend supposedly loves her but is such a tsun and just… doesn't communicate while also treating her like a small child. One of the other characters is so popular he has a fucking harem but MC is just supposed to wait for him to actually fall in love with her. And don't even get me started on that friggin yandere. *shudders* Even the secret route 'true love' character is a million types of wrong. Protagonist’s spine: Undercooked custard. MC has the self preservation skills of a wet sponge and whoever is playing this is supposed to get turned on by high concept ideas of S&M that are just written out so badly everything feels like an abusive relationship.

The Good: *sigh* The art. The art is very pretty (I'm upset at the art since it sucked me into the horror). Also, as a visual novel, this one is complex as all hell. There's a ton of endings  (most of them deadly) depending your actions as a player. It's vast, is what I'm saying. Also, I hear the clover route isn't as bad as some of the others, but I was too weirded out to try. The Bad: See rant. This is one of those games that really seems to glorify the whole possessive, abusive boyfriend shtick, but it's ok because he loves you, really. Ugh. Just… ugh. Best boy: Kent? I guess? He doesn't appear to be actively abusing MC at least.

 Shall we date: Lost Alice

I wondered if I should include this because I literally played like ten chapters  and then deleted it, but that in itself should give some indication.

Platform: Android (free to play, in-app premium purchases) Story: MC wakes up in the forest with amnesia (I see a trend). Turns out she's in Wonderland and everyone thinks she's Alice. Most of Wonderland's characters are, predictably, hot men. Squick  factor: Unavailable. I didn't play far enough to see but some of the men are quite pushy and also it's a Shall we date app, so… tread carefully. Protagonist’s spine: Cement. This is an MC that puts up a fight, which I respect. Sadly she does so in that 'needlessly aggressive' way that anime characters sometimes have. I didn't find her particularly sympathetic.

The Good: The art. It's always the art that gets me. The Bad: The UI annoyed the shit out of me. This is a free to play, pay for premiums game, so some level of mindless clicking is expected if you try to play for free. This one had just too much. There was friend greeting and picture rating and princess lessons and got knows what else, all taking a ton of time. Trying to get to the home page popped up at least four different 'now on sale' screens every single time. The writing wasn't good enough for me to deal with that. Best boy: Well there’s a cat. So.

 Decent games

Hustle cat

This game is set in a cat café, that was all the encouragement I needed to buy it.

Platform: PC (Steam) Story: MC is invited to take a job at a cat café. Turns out everyone in the café is cursed, and also they're into you. Squick factor: Almost non-existant. This is a very tumblr friendly game in the sense that your love interests are both male and female, and none of them are particularly pushy. The relationships feel pretty natural and mostly consist of MC helping their love interest with some subquest. Protagonist’s spine: Cucumber. MC is actually pretty cool. The game does that 'modern western game' thing where you get to pick a gender and a skin colour for your protag and the general atmosphere is 'tongue in cheek'. MC doesn't let people walk over them, but they're generally helpful.

The Good: CATS. The premise of this game is pretty neat. The Bad: According to Steam I played this five months ago, and I pretty much forgot about it. Fun game but not particularly memorable. Best cat: Landry. Tall, gentle giants are a particular weakness.

 Shall we date: Blood in Roses

This is me giving Shall we Date another shot, because the amount of hot mildly medieval boys was intriguing.

Platform: Android (free to play, in-app premiums) Story: There's two, because this app has been around for a while and now has two 'seasons'. The Witch stumbles upon a supposedly abandoned castle and gets imprisoned there by a bunch of vampires. The Hunter, meanwhile, seeks out the castle because she wants to stop an attack on her village. Both come to realize that the castle is now a hotel for monsters, and that its denizens are both not what they imagined, and also hot. Squick factor: Highly dependent on route. The Witch literally starts in a jail cell, so you can imagine the Stockholm Syndrome shit that goes down. Also, this is a personal preference, but I'm really weirded out by a lot of blood play stuff so most of the vampire routes are gonna be… problematic. Shall we Date games don't shy away from sex scenes and I like that, but coupling them with drinking blood 'to get in the mood' is a rather specific niche. The game does offer a number of other options for you to court, from werewolves to wizards and… grim reapers? It's a mixed batch. If you're not into pushed boundaries I can offer one tip: stay away from the vampires. Protagonist’s spine: Sand cookie. She has one, but it's brittle. I've mostly played Hunter routes and it's like… she tries, and she can take care of herself but she also tolerates more bullshit than necessary, ya know.

The Good: The art is good, and some of the storylines are intriguing despite my reservations. I'm still playing it (mostly in a quest to find a good ending where MC doesn't die to become a weird immortal creature).  The UI, while annoying, isn't as bad as Lost Alice's, or so it seems. The Bad: The writing is very hit or miss. There's routes where the guy just sort of lowkey stalks MC, until she suddenly decides she's incredibly in love with him. There's others  that make even less sense, and then there's ones that feel more natural. In general, MC's actions don't  seem to have a lot of thought put into them. Best boy: So far: Gordon. He's cute and sensible and tortured and not incredibly antagonistic.

 Midnight Cinderella

You'll notice a friggin ton of Cybird games on here.

Platform: Android (free to play, premium purchases) Story: MC gets, mostly by accident, chosen to be the Princess of Wysteria. As such she must prepare to govern the country when the king dies, and choose a consort from a number of suitors. Squick factor: Low. Not only are these men respectful of her, they're rather literally treating her like royalty. Having said that, there is a lot of the typical hurtful tsun stuff going in several routes. Protagonist’s spine: Lightly done steak. There's something weird going on with the protag in this game. When it comes to governing, she's tough as nails. She's thrown into a situation she wasn't ready for, and while this stresses her out 24/7, she performs admirably. On the other hand, her main reaction to literally anything when it comes to love is 'Oh'. She cries a lot, at times she feels like a wet rag. There's a bunch of situations she could have just solved by going 'Yeah I'm into you'. She's complex, I guess.

The Good: The writing, while melodramatic, is nice. The art is good as well. The Bad: This is an old game and it doesn't perform that well on my current-gen smartphone. Expect to push certain buttons several times before the game realizes what you're trying to do. Also the loading takes ages. Best boy: For me, Sid, because he reminds me of Aomine Daiki and I'm weak for that type of personality. As far as routes go, Leo's probably had the most impact on me.

 Destined to Love

I'll be honest, I started this because of an event in Ikemen Sengoku that would give me cross game storage. Don't judge me.

The Story: MC gets flung back in time (this is also a trend, it seems) to the 1800's, a few weeks before the Ikedaya incident will make the Shinsen-gumi a historic Legend. She meets, and chrams, a whole bunch of historical figures. Protagonist’s spine: Cured leather. As a modern woman sent back in time, MC is probably fairly sassy by the standards of the time, but she remains mostly polite. She's tough, considering the circumstances, but quite pliable in that 'we'll see where this goes and make the best of it' way. Squick factor: Low. There's one character that just screams 'red flag' but I have yet to try his route. Since this is a Cybird game, most of the guys are pretty respectful.

The Good: I really like the premise? As the title suggests, MC's love is part of a higher destiny, one that transcends time, and it's one of the reasons she has to go to friggin 1800's Japan. She has a hand in making history. This amuses me. Also, the guys are pretty good looking. The Bad: This is a fairly old mobile game and you can kinda tell. On a technical level it's not as bad as Midnight Cinderella, but again the touch buttons aren't always responsive. Besides that, some of the writing is rather clunkily translated and a bunch of the art is low res. Best Boy: I haven't played all the routes here, but Katsura is a god damn sweetheart, and Kyo and Yamazaki seem adorable AF.

 The weird: the special ones

Hatoful Boyfriend

The reason I know otome's exist. This one shot to meme status a few years back.

Platform: PC (it's on Steam) Story: MC is one of the last remaining humans after sentient birds took over the world. She gets enrolled into an elite school for pigeons. Squick factor: Medium to high. The major thing to understand about Hatoful is that on the surface it looks like a particularly silly dating sim with pigeons, but dig deeper and it is Also a full blown apocalyptic horror story. And it follows the genre where a wrong move gets MC horrifically killed. Having said that, several of the routes, including the god damn serial killer one, didn't bother me as much as something like Amnesia, because they were not sold as romantic. Maybe it's the whole pigeon thing, maybe it's the general weirdness of the plot, or maybe it is because said serial killer actually goes 'Surely you knew this would happen', before he guts you. Protagonist’s spine: Gummy bear. MC is highly forgettable, but therefore also like… not annoying. The main focus here is on uncovering the many layered plot and the player character doesn't really have a scripted personality, she just embodies the player's actions.

The Good: This whole game is so out there. There's a reason it became so popular. It's an Experience. The plot is over the top and intricate and Weird, and that makes it intriguing. There's a ton of routes and endings, some more secret than others. The 'human' version of some of these birds is kinda hot (sadly that includes the serial killer). The Bad: the plot is so weird and meandering that it's kinda hard to follow at times. I'm fairly certain it takes several guides to unlock all the endings. Best Birb: It's been a while, but I remember liking Yuuya's route quite a lot.

 Monster Prom

The new hype.

Platform: PC (Steam!) Story: MC is a student at Monster High, and is trying to get a date for Monster Prom with one of the hot people. Squick factor: None. I mean, nothing that happens here is in accordance to health and safety norms, but that's kinda the point. It's a parody game, making fun of all the hoops teenagers are willing to jump through to become popular. Protagonist's spine: Coagulated blood. MC is willing to make deals with demons, wear corpses as a hat, anything really. The question is very openly: what could I do to make them like me.

The Good: It's a funny game. I like the characters, who embody everything from the Mean Girl to the Hipster Nerd and the Needlessly Aggressive Jock. The art is simple, cartoon style, but pretty neat. The Bad: Everything is very tongue in cheek, which leaves it a little… light for my tastes. I don't feel like any of the routes matter in the grand scheme of things, MC hasn't truly touched anyone's heart. The whole thing is a joke game, so it's funny, but a bit shallow. Best monster: Polly, the permanently stoned party girl.

 Cute Demon Crashers

Technically a sex game? But a really very special one.

Platform: PC (free! Here!) Story: A portal opens in MC's house and four Incubi/Succubi drop through. To apologize for the inconvenience, while they wait for a portal back, they offer to teach MC about sex. Squick factor: I've written about this game before and the best thing, the very best thing about it is how incredibly consent-minded it is. Like, even if you're already in bed, getting it on, there's always an option to turn back and leave it at that. The demons are really just there to help MC find out what gives her pleasure. Protagonist’s spine: Rock. Obviously, MC is mildly upset about four random demons showing up. As mentioned before, what happens next is mostly up to the player.

The Good: It's free and the art is pretty and I love the premise. The Bad: Kinda short, but again: free. Cutest Demon Crasher: *cough* Orias *cough*

[writingbarnes]

The Cursed Heir [ Bucky Barnes x Reader ] • 5 of 5

Summary : “You–” Bucky looked up from the tiny scripture of texts, only to have a book chucked right to his face. “–are dumber than the donkey we found in the forest when we were twelve!” Steve panted, resting his other hand on the door, clearly not caring whether he broke his nose or not. Fairy Tale/Prince Bucky AU

THE CURSED HEIR FIC  |  AO3

Character : Bucky Barnes X OC ( Reader )   |  Genre : Fluff, light angst |  Words : 3.3K-ish

Author’s Note : I FINALLY FINISHED IT! I’m so happy with this work? I’m not really familiar with this genre of writing but i really enjoyed writing it and I hope you like it as much as i do. Tell me what you think! As always, thank you victoria for helping me with this fic <3

Steve pushed open the door to [Y/N] room, smiling at the palace maids who rushed to finish lighting up the herbal candles on her bedside. He politely nodded at them as they bowed and quickly left the room and made his way to the solo chair set up next to her bed. The chair made a slight squeaking sound as he sat and pulled it closer to the bed.

“I’m sorry.” Steve started, because what else could he say to her? He bit his lips, eyes searching for any movements. “I really am.” He repeated, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. She still didn’t move, just like she didn’t the past week and he seemed to be apologizing every time he walked inside her room. Not wanting to cry again, Steve told her about his days, what Bucky had been up to (holed in the library, still refusing to visit her), about Peggy and how she’ll be back in two days (he hoped his crush on her sister wasn’t too obvious), and how the witch said the only cure was to break the curse.

“We’re going to find a way to get you back.” Steve said. He cleared his throat before he continued, “I’m sure Bucky will. He’s a smart guy. Not so smart when it comes to his own feelings. So I hope you’ll forgive him for being so stupid.” 

He was about to add another comment when he noticed the new sketchbook that had been sitting on the table untouched and Steve was not Steve if he wasn’t curious. So he did what he would usually do, he picked it up and opened the first page. The sigh that followed was loud and filled with frustration. “I’m so sorry but he’s really, really stupid when it comes to feelings.” Was all he said before he got up and stalked out of the room, muttering curses under his breath.

.

“You–” Bucky looked up from the tiny scripture of texts, only to have a book chucked right to his face. “–are dumber than the donkey we found in the forest when we were twelve!” Steve panted, resting his other hand on the door, clearly not caring whether he broke his nose or not.

“Excuse me?” Bucky frowned, rubbing the sore spot on his forehead that he was sure would leave a bruise, judging by how hard Steve threw it and the throbbing pain he started to feel.

Steve angrily strode towards him and Bucky would’ve been really worried for his life if he wasn’t so sleep deprived and drowning in guilt and God knows what else. Steve, his best friend Steve, who claimed to be willing to go to the end of the line with him and swore to be his friend ever since they were kids, decided that the book was not enough and grabbed the pens and other books he could get his hands on, hurling it at Bucky with incredible strength.

“STOP IT!” Bucky shouted as he ducked away from the thickest book he had ever seen in the past week. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“What the hell is wrong with me?” Steve paused and took several deep breaths, looking as if he was going into a stroke. He looked–no, glared– at Bucky, ready to fling another book. “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

“Is this about me not visiting her?” Bucky sighed, feeling an incoming headache. “I told you I can’t. I did this to her.”

“For the love of God, it wasn’t your fault.” Steve flung a pencil at him. It almost stabbed his eye but Steve didn’t seem to care. He was on a roll. “And for your information, do you know she’s in love with you? Do you know how hurt she’ll be when she wakes up and realizes you weren’t there?”

“Ha-ha.” Bucky gave Steve his most unimpressed look. “Very funny. She’s not in love with me.”

“Are you–” Steve looked like he really might have a stroke. “Are you serious?” He whispered before he started flinging his arms. “Bucky, have you lost your mind or something? That girl is in love with you. Even the palace cook knows.”

“No, she isn’t.” Bucky furrowed his brows. She couldn’t be. Especially not after what happened in the lake. What kind of joke was this?

“Bucky. Her two most favorite topics are Butterscotch and you.” Steve pointed his finger at the first book he hurled at him. “If that doesn’t scream I love you Bucky Barnes, I don’t know what does.”

.

Let it be known that Steve Rogers was always right. He was right when he tried to fight a guest prince for bullying the palace maid when they were ten, he was right when he punched another royal guest for trying to hurt Butterscotch (the boy passed out with a bleeding nose and bruised eyes), and he was most definitely right when he told Bucky he was more stupid than the donkey they found when they were kids. Bucky flipped the book to the next page, finding another rough sketch of him sitting on the blanket, eyes closed as he tried to soak in the sun. There was another small drawing of him smiling at her. He remembered this, he thought as he traced his finger around the sketch, careful not to smudge it. He thought she was really pretty and was about to tell her that, and chickened out the moment she looked at him.

“You can say it.” Bucky grumbled, feeling Steve’s intense gaze on him as he flipped to the last sketches.

“I am always right and you should go to her and apologize.” Steve crossed his arms and sat on the chair across the table.

“There are more sketches of you.” Steve added when he noticed the uncertainty in Bucky’s eyes, his voice filled with fondness. “There’s another sketchbook on the table, I may or may not have took a peek at it too. It’s just drawings of you and Butterscotch.”

“The cat is too damn spoiled.” Bucky mumbled as he stood up. “I’m… I’m just going to go.” He lamely ended, earning a chuckle from Steve.

“Shut up.”

.

The walk back to [Y/N]’s room felt like forever. Bucky could feel sweat dripping down his back even though it was cold outside and he wasn’t wearing a coat. His mind raced, trying to come up with apologies only to cringe a moment later. The ache in his left arm seemed to finally dulled when he pushed open her door. As expected, Natasha and Sam were in her room when he walked in. They turned to him, flashed him a small smile, and quickly left, shutting the door behind them before Bucky could run off. Bucky swore he heard Natasha threatening him right as she walked past him.

One deep breath later, he turned to the bed, where she was still peacefully asleep. He stumbled his way towards her, laughing a little to himself when he almost tripped over a box.

“Hi.” Bucky quietly said. His voice sounded tight, as if he had been holding his breath this whole time. The words got caught in his throat the moment he held her hand. “You hand is so cold. I told them to keep you warm.”

“I’d kiss you but that wouldn’t be really nice, would it? Gotta ask for your permission first.” Bucky chuckled before he continued, voice a little choked up with tears. “You’re probably sick of apologies right now but I’m going to say it anyway. I’m sorry. I was really scared, I still am. But Steve kind of hurled books at me and I think he has been hanging out with Clint too much because his aim has gotten a lot better. I have a huge bruise on my forehead. You’ll probably laugh at me if you’re awake.” He curled a strand of loose hair behind her ear, lips curling into a soft smile. “I deserve it for not visiting you sooner. I’m sorry. Again.”

Bucky was about to add a little confession when he noticed her extremely pale face. He frowned, placing the back of his hand on her forehead. She wasn’t supposed to be this cold, was she? Fear pricked his skin, his heart pounding in his ears. He quickly got up, giving her hand one last gentle squeeze before he left.

And he ran.

.

“Bucky? Why are you–” Steve paused at Bucky expression. “Is everything okay?”

“She’s too pale.” Bucky breathed out. “She’s too pale and too cold. It’s–it’s not normal, Steve. We have to do something now.” By then, he was rambling words he didn’t even understand, oblivious to Steve and their friends who were now looking more alert than few seconds ago.

“We can’t. The falcon won’t be back until tonight. The witch said she may have found something to help her and will come here with falcon.” Sam shook his head.

“We can’t wait that long.” Bucky replied, eyes wide and unfocused. “She’s really sick.” No one said anything and Bucky let out a hollow laugh, wiping the tears off his face. There was a grim determination on his face when he looked up again.

“No.” Steve quickly said, knowing Bucky a little too well to indulge him with this reckless decision he was about to make.

Bucky grabbed the coat he left on the table and ignored Steve’s pointed stare. “I have to do this.”

“No, we can wai–“

“I can’t let anyone die again.” Bucky cut him off, shrugging Steve’s grip on his wrist before he turned to their friends. His lips slowly curled into a sad smile. “Not anymore.”

.

In the end, it only took him one small step and he was back to that day, where he thought everything would be alright and there was no such thing as curse. Unlike his young self, he knew what he was getting himself into this time. But no matter how much expectation or mental preparation he had, he still crumbled to the ground, gritting his teeth so hard to stop himself from screaming out loud.

There was so much pain. No. Blinding agony, ripping through his skin like knives and fire, and through his muscles and bones. It was as if someone broke every single piece of his bones. He couldn’t really think much with the pain. He writhed as he forced himself to crawl further, only to stop a second later. This was how he was going to die, he thought as he gasped for oxygen. His vision blurred the further he was away from the castle. He could barely hear his friends on the other side of the gate.

“How foolish.” The voice pierced through his ears and he grunted in pain as he felt that familiar painful talon-like nails on his chin, forcing him to look up. “You’re willing to die for her? That’s convenient.” She chuckled and Bucky smiled at the slight panic on her voice.

“You’re scared.” Bucky stated, wincing as he got on his knees. “You know no one will be able to love you.”

“I don’t need love. They make you weak.” She hissed. “Tell me, James Buchanan Barnes, are you really willing to die for her?”

“Yes.” He replied without any hesitation. He found a little comfort in the way she twisted her face, how she looked like she had lost her composure. “I love her and I want her safe. Do you even know how that feels?” He taunted her, smirking despite the pain.

“Maybe I should just save you the time and kill you myself, you insolent–” The words died in her throat and Bucky watched in shock as a thin sword went through her chest. It was pulled back quickly and the woman turned just in time for someone to punch her to the ground. She gurgled out blood, trying to gasp for breath (or maybe put out another curse) before the sword pierced her chest one more time, sending her right to hell. The screeching sound that pierced his ears and the blinding bright light that followed almost knocked him unconscious.

“I hate bullies.” His savior, muttered as she wiped the sword on the woman’s cloak. It took Bucky awhile to realize the pain had disappeared. He blinked his eyes, ridding the multicolored spots before them. “I leave for a week and you almost die, Barnes.”

“Peggy.” Bucky was hallucinating. He had to be. She was standing in front of him, eyebrows furrowed in both confusion and amusement. She let out a sigh when Bucky didn’t move from the ground and continued to stare at her.

“Come on, Barnes.” She helped him up, letting him lean his whole body on her shoulder. Now that the pain was gone, his body seems to feel weak. He could sleep for a day, or maybe a week, he thought as Peggy assisted him back to the castle.

“No wonder Steve loves you.” Bucky muttered. The words caused Peggy to stagger, almost sending him falling face first to the ground.

.

There were a lot of tears. A lot. Steve was crying, Sam was crying, Clint was sobbing, and Natasha was somewhere between crying and trying not to laugh. And Bucky, he didn’t know if he just wiped away his tears or his snot at this point. They were lying on top of each other, feeling the sun tickle their skin.

“We’re free?” Steve asked again in a whisper, as if someone could take back the curse.

“We’re free.” Natasha nodded, face bright with joy.

“Please move, I can’t– breathe!” Clint roughly pushed his friends off, still giggling between his tears.

“Your shoulder.” Sam suddenly pointed out, halting everyone from their crying fest. Bucky looked down to his shoulder. His shirt was slightly torn, exposing a clear view of his left shoulder where he could see faint scars that twined along his arm much like the wild roses on their front gate.

“[Y/N].” Bucky suddenly gasped. He quickly stood on his wobbly feet, trying not to lose his balance as he rushed back to the castle. There was a pause as they watched him go, stumbling a few times before he disappeared inside the castle.

 “We should probably go–” Steve started, only to be stopped by Peggy. She gave him a look that shut him up.

“And watch them make out? No.”

.

“Sir, the lady–,” The palace maid started, stopping him from pushing the door open.

“Is she awake?”

“Yes, but–” The palace maid trailed off while Bucky walked past her and pushed the door open.

[Y/N] was well and awake. She was on sitting on the bed, her back facing him and another palace maid stood next to her. Bucky’s eyes trailed from the dress pooling around her feet and up to her messy hair and his brain just decided to stop working. They both quickly turned their attention and Bucky finally realized why the previous maid tried to stop him from entering the room.

“BUCKY!”

“Sorry! Fuck–Sorry.” Bucky turned around, almost giving himself whiplash. He felt heat rising up to his neck and to his face, the image forever burned in his mind.

“I told you so, sir.” The maid, who was definitely not that much older than him, muttered before she bowed and left him. Bucky was too shocked to even come up with a retort.

He stood vigil in front of the door for what seemed like forever, his left shoes tapping the floor repeatedly. He didn’t notice the maid leaving the room and stopped in front of him until she tapped his arm nervously, fearing she might have overstepped some boundaries. And he jumped, causing the maid to squeak in fear.

“Lady [Y/N] is fully dressed and she said you can come in if you want, your highness.” The woman stammered, rushing to get away from him as soon as possible. Dressed. Oh.

And Bucky’s brain stopped working again.

.

It was [Y/N] who finally got tired of waiting for Bucky to snap out of his shock and walked out of the room by herself, her hand still holding the door for support. Bucky was still outside her room, now seated on the ground, cross-legged. Steve was standing next to him, clearly looking unamused by his best friend, though he did brighten up and picked her up in a tight embrace.

“You’re well!”

“I am.” [Y/N] chuckled, patting his back, her eyes still trained on Bucky. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t think so.” Steve shrugged, letting her back down effortlessly. “But it’s your problem now. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m sorry.” Bucky squeaked. Squeaked. He looked up at her, face still flushed red. And it was just too adorable for [Y/N], who had to spend the past week in a dreamless sleep.

“That’s a very ugly bruise.” [Y/N] winced, because of course, what else should she talk about when the person she really loves was sitting in front of her with the most adorable expression.

Fortunately, it was her faux pas that melted the awkward atmosphere between the two of them (Steve had successfully left the hallway, Peggy’s warning echoing in his ears). His expression melted into a childish grin as he took her hand.

“You’re really okay.” He beamed.

“I am.” [Y/N] kneeled in front of him, her hand gently caressing his face. “This is really nice, isn’t it? No curse, no weird witches.”

“It is. I was going to give you a kiss.” Bucky confessed, his cheeks flushing pink again. He rested his other hand on her waist. “It feels a little improper if I didn’t ask first.”

“Well, you can kiss me now.” She replied nonchalantly, only to squeal a moment later when he pulled her into his lap and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

.

EPILOGUE

The sun warmed its way into the castle ground. Most of the palace maids busied themselves with flower arrangements on the royal hall. It was an important day after all. There were people coming in and out of the palace. Everyone was busy. They had to make it as perfect as they possibly could. There was music playing in the ballroom to welcome the royal guests. King T’challa and his family looked pleased to finally visit the palace. Wine was served. There was laughter and music and light dancing as they waited for the event to start.

In one of the rooms, just a few doors away from the guest bedroom, the palace cook proudly placed the last rose on top of the layered cake before she stepped down from the stool and left the room. The door was slightly ajar, giving passerbys a glimpse of the most beautiful wedding cake.

“Butterscotch, no.”

The cat meowed a little louder as she stopped her paw mid-air. She meowed again, looking offended as Bucky picked her up and carried her out of the room. “You can’t eat the cake.” He chided the cat that seemed to get fatter by the day. Someone must have been feeding her more food (but he really loved that someone and it was an adorable sight so he let it go). His left leather shoe had been dirtied by Butterscotch’s soiled paws, and he mentally thanked the Gods and [Y/N] for not letting him wear the white shoes for this special day.

Butterscotch, still glaring at him, huffed and decided the best petty revenge for the man who didn’t let her eat the cake was to step on the other shoe, leaving a very obvious footprint and ran off before she could get caught. If he didn’t let her eat the cake, then maybe [Y/N] would. [Y/N] would definitely give her the cake she deserved. Her butt swished as she trudged towards [Y/N]’s room, glancing back to give Bucky a triumphant look.

“Don’t.you.dare.” Bucky hissed as he watched his cat pushed open the door with her paws, and walked into her room with the most sickeningly adorable meow.

Tagging some people : @pleasecallmecaptain @mangosoldier @wakandasoldier @tabi-toast @writing-soldiers @4theluvofall @meavie @montysmayhem @scarlettsoldier @marvelrevival @sebbys-girl@waitingfortherightpartner @sebstan-theman​ @elfwriter1088@wordsturnintostories@chromealchemist@showbuckysomelove @meavie @sawdustandsugar @amiteran

[imaginexmeintheuniverse]

The Calm After the Storm

The lovely @strawberrymilk4 requested: "Hello! I'll like to make a request! So it would be Tom Holland x female reader and they get into a huge argument and the reader leaves and then a few hours pass and Tom gets super worried and texts and call her but she doesn't answer. And then there's a storm and she come back like at 3 in the morning all drenched in water and then Tom is freaking out and apologizing and it's all Fluffy and cute at the end?! Sorry if it's so specific! But thank you anyways!💗💗"

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Some angsty feelings. 

Word Count: 1, 668

Summary: The reader and her long time boyfriend Peter Parker get into a huge fight and stir up quite the storm. (Essentially the request)

Masterlist

A/N: With the permission of the requester, the request has been changed to Peter Parker because unfortunately I only write for characters so thank you for being so understanding 💕

They say there's a calm before a storm; a moment of peace before a disturbance.

There has never been anything more false in your literal situation.

It all happened so fast; you don't know what came over either of you. One second it's just another day, and the next you two are blowing up on each other.

It's a busy time for the both of you at work, so you are both insanely sleep deprived and have barely gotten to spend any time together in the past few weeks. He spent his days at the compound upstate while keeping up with his job and saving the city. By the time he'd get home from his nightly patrol, you'd already be passed out at the table with your papers splayed all over your laptop. The few nights he did get back early, you'd take care of his wounds and then you'd both pass out, soaking up every minute of precious sleep that you could. You've been substituting for your supervisor while she's on maternity leave, all while keeping up with your own work, hoping to get a promotion and work alongside her when she returns. Being extremely tired and having hellish days, a fight ensued as soon as you came home to see Peter suiting up in the living room of your shared apartment. There was no calm before the metaphorical storm.

Your day had been hectic. Peter left before you and didn't want to wake you up since you were exhausted, but you had missed your alarm, so you had to skip showering and you had to run out the door, burnt bagel and spilled coffee in hand. At work, it was your turn to train the new guy who accidentally screwed up, setting the office back a whole day's work, and half of your coworkers are sick, so you figure it's only a matter of time before you catch it too. As if things couldn't get worse, the subway got stalled, and you got hydroplaned coming out of the station before finally coming home to the one person who could make it all better. But he couldn't spare five minutes, ready to jump off the fire escape for whatever petty crime was announced on the police scanner.

His day wasn't much better. He got yelled at by his superior for falling asleep during an office meeting and got his ass handed to him over his lunch break. He was stopping two drug dealers from getting away. He got one, but was too tired that the other was behind him with a baseball bat. He wanted nothing more in the world than to have take-out with you on the couch while catching up on all the episodes of [show] you missed over the past few weeks. But he has a responsibility to the city.

It started with a passive aggressive comment from you, then an annoyed response from Peter, and it snowballed into what the neighbors would describe as a screaming match. Neither of you have ever yelled at the other like that.

It ended with you storming out and him heading to Manhattan to stop a store robbery that ended up being a false alarm. He did manage to help an old lady get her cat back before going back to the apartment to see you weren't home yet.

Hours passed, and all of Peter's anger was replaced by worry. He didn't know what to do other than call and text you while pacing around every room. He must have left you at least fifteen voicemails. He thought about going out to look for you, but knew that if you wanted him to find you, you would have contacted him. You ignored the first few calls and messages, but as soon as you decided to call him back to let him know you're okay, you only manage to see that it's 2:18AM before your phone died in your hands.

So here you are, cursing out you phone in a phone booth that you took refuge in about five minutes ago when the rain started. There is a payphone right next you, but you didn't take anything but your keys and your phone that has your subway card tucked in the case. You lean back on the wall, closing your eyes and releasing a frustrated breath as a clap of thunder interrupts the string of swear words you've been muttering under your breath.

Suddenly, the steady flow of rain turns into torrential down pour, accompanied by flashes of lightning. You try to come up with a game plan, but instead get lost in your thoughts. You can't help but replay the fight over and over again in your head, eventually just coming to the conclusion that the only thing you want right now is to be home in Peter's arms.

You're not even sure if there was a point to the whole fight, or exactly what was supposed to come out of it. You definitely didn't want him to stop saving lives, but it also weighs down on you every time he comes back from a mission all beat up or when he goes off chasing bad guys, not knowing if he would come back. The important thing was that he always comes back. He always comes back to you.

Now you are going to come back to him.

On his end, Peter's heart races at the sound of the raging storm and knowing that you're out there. He replays the fight like you did, and thinks about everything that's been going on lately. He's been so busy just like you have, but as he recalls the last month or so, he realizes that you've been putting far more work into the relationship than he has. You've had a lot of weight on your shoulders as well, but you always managed to go out of your way and do little things for him that make his days that much happier. He imagine what the last few weeks would have been like without you and it's unbearable. He can't lose you. Just as he's fully suited up in rain gear, and ready to go out and searching for you, you burst through the front door.

You're completely drenched. Your clothes and hair are dripping, your soaked shirt is clinging to your heaving chest, and you're shaking like a leaf, yet you can't move from your spot as soon as your eyes lock with Peter's. You both look similar to the other; exhausted. His big brown eyes that always seem so warm, and your Y/E/C orbs that are usually so full of light, are reddened and puffy from the tears, and have dark rings under them from the fatigue. Your postures are slumped, but your shoulders are tense. Both of your cheeks are a burning shade of pink and tear stained- well, your whole body is water logged.

"Why didn't you-"

"My phone died,"

You both stand a few feet from each other, frozen and unsure about what to say next. You both break the silence, speaking at the same time.

"Peter-"

"I'm so sorry."

"No, Peter. Don't be-I-I'm sorry. It was my fault-"

"No, Y/N," he stops you, his eyebrows knitting in concern. "I'm so, so sorry- I never should have let you go like that."

"I shouldn't have left like that," you pant as you set your keys and phone down. At the sight of fresh tears threatening to spill over your eyelids, he takes a cautious step towards your trembling figure.

"Everything you said is true." His voice cracks as tears sting his eyes. "You've been trying so hard, I'm never around- And you deserve so much more than what I can give you but I love you so much my heart hurts every moment I'm not with you."

In two slow strides, you close the rest of the distance and initiate the first physical contact you've had since yesterday. You wipe the fresh tear off his cheek with your thumb and Peter instantly relaxes to your gentle touch. You don't know what you did to deserve the love of the man who has the purest of hearts. "You are already a thousand times better than what I deserve and I love you."

"I want to marry you one day- Well y-you know when we're ready for that," he quickly corrects himself when he sees your eyes go wide at the mention of marriage, a topic you haven't addressed yet. "We just have to get through these rough periods- I know I can be the man you deserve and I know I'm not easy to love, but please forgive me-"

"Peter," you cut him off, bringing your other hand up to hold either side of his face. "Falling in love with you is the easiest thing I've ever done." You push yourself up on your toes, ignoring the disgusting squish of your wet shoes, to press your cold, shivering lips to his soft, warm ones. "And loving you every single day is a blessing."

He wraps his arms around your shoulders and holds you close to him, the side of your face pressed against his chest. He places a long kiss the top of your head. The sound of his beating heart soothes your tears and the sound of your steadying breaths soothes his. You've never felt safer than when you're in his arms like in this very moment where you bask in the warmth he brings. Peter is your home.

This is true calm; after everything is settled and you know that everything is going to be okay no matter what, because no storm could ever get in the way of what you feel for Peter Parker. This is the calm after the storm.

Or at least it's calm until the next morning when you wake up with the world's worst cold, but at least the world's sweetest guy is there to take care of you.

[thegnasticious]

Bavarian Car Key Party

When I was growing up, everyone in my family wanted to stay at Aunt May’s house. Even some of my friends would beg to stay the night at basically the biggest residence in town. Her house looked like The Munster’s mansion, filled with antiques and collectables both her and her husband collected over the years. One wing of the house was devoted solely to horse and circus sculptures, another part had old wax figures of Black and White actors. Many of the items held disputed values, but it was estimated her residence was in excess of millions of dollars in possessions.

The thing about Aunt May, was that she was peculiar. She tended to the wax figures as if they were real people, with little acknowledgment of piles of rotten food nearest them, insects beginning to feast of the morsels. She would disregard this, no matter the visitor and insist these messes were caused by an unborn child named Victor, who was also to be known to torment guests at night. When people would go off to sleep, they would wake up to their valuables missing, or put in strange places they never put it the night before. This was Victor’s way of reminding him that he was there and very likely when the guests were slipping into unconsciousness, that was the time he was becoming conscious. The steps and knocks of his feet would wind the dark halls at night, keeping any visitors in their rooms. Aunt May would often refer to Victor as ‘The Sandman’ and said if you were good that night he would sprinkle sleep dust over you throughout the night, keeping you shielded from his torment.

Apparently I was one of Victor’s favorites. Every time I stayed there I found no sleepless nights. It was as if someone snapped and the day turned to night instantaneously. All until one visit, when I showed up that day there was broken glass and a bit of blood on the floor, the front door was wide open. Aunt May labored to the mess, speaking to herself aggressively with each swipe of crimson red blood. 

“Are you alright Aunt May?”, I asked.

She looked down at the blood and back up at me and said

“Some things people, and places never change”, and started crying.

I tried to hug her but she pushed me away, very coldly.

I proceeded to try to help her clean the mess. She started shaking her head and said,

“Please go home now, I need some time by myself”.

When I returned home that day I decided to ask my Father, Lance, about what exactly was wrong with Aunt May.

He told me that in the years of the war she defended the house and it’s possessions from some sort of foreign occupant. he said that in many ways, the subsequent isolation and the absence of her husband was driving her near mad. This was where the collections of strange artifacts began to accumulate, as he remembered. 

I visited her mainly for my Father. He worried for her health and as these strange and basically unseen ‘belongings’ of hers started mounding up, the concern only grew stronger. 

The next visit was a bit stranger. about 3 days after I returned to see if she was doing any better, I was also quite sleep deprived. I don’t know what it was but since the last night at her mansion, something loud or extremely cold would shake me from even the deepest slumber. As if it was trying to return me there.

When I got to the big wooden doors, I used the knocker and waited for the footsteps I recollected so well. None came. I knocked again. Still no steps. On the third knock, the door opened itself, as if it was never shut at all. 

The house was completely dark, the usual candles were all blown out, and a strange hint of lilacs and lavender doused the air. I expected to hear the mad wailing of an old organ, or the shriek of a cat, but all that was found was impenetrable silence. Worried for Aunt May, I went to her room. There was a green glow emanating from her door. Sort of glowing and fading like a lantern.

I creeped to the door, and pushed it open slightly. As I peeked in, I saw a young boy dressed in old victorian clothes by the head of her bed. He held his hands above his head, and his eyes were stark white. Before him, lay Aunt May, suspended in the air, her arms and legs laying lifelessly. He chanted these words that seemed to have an innumerable volume and presence, sucking you in like a whirlpool. His voice was deep and not of someone that size. Behind him a dark shadow coursed so strong you couldn't see anything else. I held my mouth to keep from screaming, that was when my Aunt’s Black cat came up and purred right next to me. The boy then looked me dead in the eyes, and something took over me. I saw a vision of a room with white suited doctors rushing back and forth, on an operating table in the middle lies the boy. The doctors some how see me watching this and pull a curtain shut, when they do, I worry for the boy for some reason, though I’ve never known him. I see the shadows of the operation, and it looks like they are pulling confetti and boxes out of him. Finally at the end of the operation, they open the curtains, and on the table is what looks like 5 or so orders of prime rib, dripping with red blood. They close the curtains again then open them to darkness. A spot light shoots from above, and the boy is dropped down slowly. Wires come from the veins in his wrists, and nails through his ankles are secured to hooks behind him. I look to see what is doing this, and all I see is two giant red eyes above. Glowing like the rear car lights of a murderer. 

The dream faded to daylight and all of I found myself laying in the Mansion’s guest room. As usual with any dream I’ve ever had at my aunt’s I usually can’t recall how I got there, or if I was dreaming. The house had this odd effect over me. Nonetheless I could still see those glowing eyes above in my mind. 

Aunt May came into my room with tray of food,

“How was your sleep last night? Any bad dreams?”, she said and set bed tray down with eggs, bacon, and some bread.

“I had a dream I saw you, but you weren’t you”, I responded.

“Oh well, is that odd”, she said, putting some sort of powder into my drink.

“What is that?”, I asked.

“Oh just some sugar for your tea deary”, She said.

A few moments of silence passed and I nibbled at the food, not touching the drink. She seemed to be watching me and I had a feeling she wouldn't leave until she saw me drink the mixture.

“You know, I fought the Nazi’s in my day, every day they’d come in and out, looking for things or people. you know what kept me and the house so empty, even in foreign occupation?”, she asked.

“No”, I said.

“Hard work, every day, always doing something. No men, that’s the way the world ought to be. It makes it easier, to move on”,

She said.

“Are you sure that that, wasn’t what made the house so empty?”,

I inquired.

“Things got better once he was gone. Every day he would get more angry at the spirits here, taking it out on me and the family. The service was the only thing for George. And when George started seeing Victor, like you did yesterday, well, I had to do something. The Nazi’s had gotten to George at that point, and I had to do something. Thats how I found George’s weapon. One night he had a pile of this White substance on his desk, I assumed it was cocaine. He proceeded to say that it was the Fuhrer’s sugar and like you right now, I started realizing how George was keeping me trapped in this house”, she said and started coming towards me.

She grabbed my arms and held them down in the bed. A strength seemed to enter her, she pressed her faced to mine revealing all black eyes. She then took the drink and forced it into my mouth, hold my mouth shut after and not letting me open until I swallowed the substance.

I awoke to a strange place I had never been before. The temperature was warm, like that of the tropics. Outside the window, palms blew in the open air. I could hear people talking and eating in the other room. As I exited the room I entered an eating hall of sorts. Most of it’s occupants were my family, some alive, some I was sure were dead. At the head of the table was my father, Lance. 

“Take a seat”, he said and pulled out a chair beside him.

I did and looked around the table trying to place faces. I recognized my Aunt May, though supposedly widowed and single, was now sitting with a young boy and a nicely dressed older man, who I presume was George. 

George rose a glass of something Red to the ceiling and said,

“Tonight we dine and eat for John Dale!”, 

All sitting at the table cheered in agreement, raising their glasses high.

My Father then stood up and said,

“I’ve brought you all here tonight for a special reason. To show you all who John Dale really is and with your help, the last of the bloodline being our guest and main course”, he then patted me on the shoulder, “show you who will be the next John Dale after me”.

Everyone cheered again and as I looked at the meat on their plates, it deformed from prime rib to masses of human remains. Everyone started gorging on it like pigs, even my father. A feeling of terror overcame me, that this was all really happening, no longer a dream. I rushed to the front door and opened it. Outside was a camera crew about 7 feet from the door, just filming the house. I immediately threw up anything I ate, I could see the crew focusing their lighting and zoom right on the pile of red crimson vomit. 

I collapsed on the ground and a paramedics crew came up almost as if scripted. 

The next time I woke up, I woke up to a bunch of suited men in a hospital room. 

One of the men gripped the end of my hospital bed and looked me dead in the eyes. For a second I saw his eyes flick to the black like Aunt May’s.

“We want you to know that you have been brought to an institution, and we also want you to know that treatment can start and end today with one simple agreement. That you are John Dale. All of your previous possessions and identity, is to be erased entirely. If we hadn’t found you, your family was doing this anyways, albeit crudely and in some ways unprofessional. The Fisher institution which is in technicality where you’re being transferred from, is not fit for the powers you are about to possess. So all of this, though strange, is actually exactly as it was supposed to be. This transfer is more of an inheritance, but because of complications your still existing Father formed by pretending to be him, required you to sacrifice your life as you knew it.”

He then handed me a pen and I signed the paper,

John Dale

[mysmessmistake]

Could you do the rfa + minor trio with an mc who seems really cold and rude, especially to them. They're actually really nice but everyone but them sees it because she likes them and she has horrible trust issues. Maybe they catch her at a bad moment where her cold facade breaks and they realise that she's actually really nice and caring. Maybe their thoughts for her change and they begin to like her? Thank you!

Saeran’s is pretty angsty, and there’s trigger warnings of self harm. I’m really sorry if I disappoint you, but I promise theyhave happy endings. 

Yoosung

he can’t understand!!!

Why do you hate him so much??? 

What did he do!!!!

He tries super hard to be your     friend too…     

And you weren’t this mean to     Zen and Jaehee!! So why him??? 

So why do you hate him?

Please don’t do this to this     small child

He seriously thinks he’s done     something so devastatingly unforgivable to the point of you hating him

He is as nice as he can be     around you

Which makes it all the more     harder

“Hey MC! I got some really     cool candy from my home town, would you like to try some?”

“No idiot. Candy is bad     for you”

Oh okay….

MC YOU’RE MAKING HIM CRY. 

He was just about ready to give     up on trying to be your friend or more

When he noticed you ahead of     him on the street, alone, petting a cat

He got closer silently, not     wanting to upset you with his presence

“You’re so cute, you remind     me of Yoosung. Oh! And Jumins cat Elizabeth. Both are very cute. Sorry,     but Yoosung beats you and Elizabeth” 

His heart skips several beats

He lets out a little squeaky     noise that alerts you of his presence 

You stood up so fast it scared     the cat away, you stared at him before instantly going red in the face 

“W-what is your problem     you don’t just stand behind people listening to them!" 

"You think I’m cute?”

There was no way you were     getting out of this one    

“So what if I do?”

He was so confused

“If you do why do you act     like you hate me so much!!" 

This poor boy had tears in his     eyes

Oh, yeah, you did that didn’t     you?

You explained your trust issues     to him, apologising for the way you treated him

He was silent

S i l e n c e …….

"You’re so cute" 

That wasn’t the reaction you     were expecting, you looked up at him to see him smiling

"MC, will you be my     partner? I promise I’ll be the best boyfriend!!! You’ll fall in love with     me instantly!!"     

"I can’t fall in love with     you twice”

You both go red in the face,     but you accept his offer     

Jaehee

what was your problem?

You were so rude!

You always gave her the cold     shoulder, what was the deal?    

She just accepts it, she’s been     disrespected before so it’s nothing new

But she’s seen you smile with     Jumin and Saeyoung, so why did you have a problem with her? 

Either way she tries not to let     your cold tone towards her get to her, and went on with her work

However, one day she had gone     too long without eating, drinking or sleeping

And while standing in the     office, she passed out    

She was taken to the hospital     because her nutrition was low and she was dehydrated as well as sleep     deprived and extremely low on energy 

When you found out, you raced     to the hospital, and from there oh refused to leave her side until she     woke up

A day or so later Jaehee woke     up to see you asleep on the chair next to her, snoring loudly 

“MC? MC?” She asks a     few times to wake you up    

You take a few moments to wake     up but when you see her sitting up and staring at you, you snapped

“Jaehee!! What is your     problem?? You can’t just go days without food water or sleep!! What if you     had of hit your head when you passed out? or passed out somewhere random     and got seriously hurt?? You could’ve died Jaehee!!! This is how people     die!!!"     

You had tears in your eyes as     you spouted your rant to her, deadly afraid something horrible was going     to happen to her if she kept this up    

"Wait, MC, why do you care     so much? All you’ve been to me is mean since you got to the RFA”

“Well I-”

Oh

Whoops

You explained your issues in an     awkward rush, you really didn’t want to stay long on that topic

Partly because it wasn’t     something fun to talk about, but also because Jaehees health was the thing     in question

“I’m sorry, really. But     that’s not important right now. You need to be more careful, dammit! What     if you get really sick? We all love you so much Jaehee, you can’t just     ignore your health!”    

She teared up at how much you     really cared

Without a second thought you     pressed your lips to hers    

“If you can’t look after     yourself, I will, okay?" 

Both of your faces were red but     Jaehee smiled and nodded    

"Okay, MC”

Zen

you were so !!!!!

But you were so ?????

It was just so ?!?!?!?!? 

Zen liked you, he had feelings     for you

But how??

You were so rude!!! 

And cold!!!

But it seemed only to him…

You even got along with Jumin

Honestly, Zen was at a lost.     He’s tried to ask you why you hated him so much, but each time you avoid     the question     

It frustrated Zen so much that     he went on a ride to his spot, after getting angry at nothing over chat

Jumin suggested you be the one     to go get him and calm him down    

He even gave you the spot     location

When you got there, Zen was     over looking the city.     

When he saw you, he barked at     you out of annoyance both at you and himself

“Oh I’m sorry, did you     want something?”    

You felt really bad

Zen had only ever been a     gentleman to you, and you were being so icy 

You didn’t mean to, you were     just protecting your heart     

You explained your trust     issues, trying to make it sound more like a reason than an excuse. 

“MC, you know I would     never hurt you, don’t you?”    

“That’s the problem. I do.     Which will make it all the more worse if you do..”

Zen felt bad

You felt bad

Everyone just all felt bad 

Zen took your hands, stared     into your eyes, and vowed never to intentionally hurt you

“Will you give me a     chance, MC?”

“Yes" 

He sticks true to his word,     through and through.     

Jumin

He doesn’t have time for the     likes of you

Or so he wants to think

Unfortunately he really can’t     get you out of his head and it irks him to no end

You were cold and rude towards     him

He has no idea why he even has     interest in you, you’re just like Zen    

But when you’re only with Zen     and Saeyoung… you’re not so closed and defensive 

Was it just him?

Was there something seriously     wrong with him?

Jumin did what he could to     ignore it, he just accepted how much you disliked him

One day you hadn’t been on     group chat at all, and you declined everyone that had called. Saeyoung     told everyone you were at a park and you’d been there all day

You were having a bad day so     you decided to hang out at the park    

Jumin read the messages and     decided he didn’t care    

He continued not to care as he     got in the car and gave Driver Kim direction to your location, heading     there in hopes to cheer you up    

He found you sitting on a     bench, and sat down next to you, panicking as he hadn’t thought this far     before     

There was some silence

Before the strangest thing     happened

Jumin began to make jokes

Really bad ones too

"What do you call an     elegant cat?”

“…”

“Purrty”

By the fourth or fifth bad joke     you couldn’t handle it anymore    

you began to laugh lightly as     you turned your undivided attention towards him

“Are you trying to be     funny or cringey?”    

“I was sort of going for     charming…”

This made you laugh harder

When you calmed down, you     thanked him for cheering you up    

“MC. Why do you… why do     you dislike me so much?”    

Oh right that doesn’t just go     away…

You sighed and explained you     had trust issues, and you were guarded around him because it would break     you if he hurt you

“MC" 

He gently forced you to look at     him

"I would never do anything     to hurt you or jeopardise your trust”

You gave him a silent smile     before taking his hand in yours 

The two of you sat quietly on     the bench, happy you both had a new found trust between each other

Saeyoung

oh yeah

Huh

He deserved this

This was how it should be

You should resent him for     anything and everything     

He was a horrible person so he     100% deserved how you felt towards him

He didn’t even question it

Even though he hadn’t done     anything specific, he didn’t question your coldness towards him. 

You were happy around Saeran     and Yoosung

So yeah it was him

And yeah it was fair

These thoughts plagued     Saeyoung, and Saeran wasn’t blind to this. 

Neither were you, but what     happens when you care too much?    

Saeyoung, out of stupidity,     decided to take a very high-risk job, that put his life on the line in a     number of ways     

Of course before hand he talked     over it with Saeran who didn’t seem to care that much

But when you found out about the     mission, after he had already completed it and returned, you flipped

He put himself in so much     danger! He could’ve been killed!    

without a second- or really     first- thought you rushed over to the bunker to confront Saeyoung

He was sitting on his computer,     but you wouldn’t let him put his headphones in and ignore you

“Are you insane?! You     can’t just go out and put your life on the line!”

Now he was really confused 

Why did you care?

“What about Saeran? What     if you died and left him alone? What about me? How could you just     leave?!”     

“Wait MC- what- why do you     even care?"     

"WHY DO I EVEN     CARE?!”

This was definitely the wrong     thing to ask

You realised how horrible you     were to him, you buried your head in his chest before explaining 

You explained the problems you     had with trust, and how sorry you were for just leaving him without an     explanation     

“I’m sorry Saeyoung, but     please don’t put yourself in danger, what do I do if I loose you?”

Now you were crying

He was crying 

You both were a mess 

He wrapped his arms around you     and pulled you on to his lap    

But you were the one that     seemed to be the one protecting him 

While Protecting yourself, you     forgot he needed to be protected as well

And so did he

He didn’t think you’d be     protecting yourself as he did…    

You stayed like that for hours,     even though time passed by quickly. 

He pulled back first, wiping     his eyes and looking at you    

“MC, I thought you hated     me"     

"Saeyoung, I don’t hate     you, I was scared”     

Saeyoung suddenly understood     why you were always so cold    

"I love you, MC”

Your face went red, but you     smiled as your hand caressed his cheek and pulled him towards you, quickly     pecking his lips

“I love you too" 

Saeran

fine

Whatever

You hated him

He hated you

Fine 

He didn’t care

Except that he did, a lot 

Unfortunately for both of you,     and for anyone watching your relationship unfold, he had trust issues and     you did too

You were both so cold towards     each other

The only difference was, he’s     seen you around Saeyoung and Zen, and you were fine

This made Saeran moody, because     he couldn’t just be normal    

There was so much wrong with     him, no wonder you didn’t want to be around him

One night these thoughts became     far too much for him, and he felt like he had to do something to stop them

You were on your way into the     bunker to return something of Saeyoungs, when you heard a clatter from the     kitchen and what sounded like sobbing    

You ducked your head into the     kitchen to see Saeran holding a knife 

Your eyes widened and you     rushed to him, scaring him slightly as you cried out for him to drop it

You took it from his grasp and     threw it across the kitchen floor, turning back to him with tears in your     eyes and frantic look.     

"Saeran! What were you     thinking? You can’t… you can’t do that to yourself! Why didn’t you call     Saeyoung, or me, or anyone else?" 

"Why would I call you? You     hate me! You don’t care!”    

He was screaming and crying, so     much inside of him was breaking    

So much inside of you was also breaking 

“Of course I care! I love     you Saeran, and so does Saeyoung. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please, please     just don’t hurt yourself, not tonight. I can’t make you promise- I just-     please”

Saeran stared at you as you     stared at him. His emotions were all over the place and he felt stupid for     crying.     

The two of you stayed staring       at each other for what seemed like hours until you convinced him to come     sit on the couch with you     

However, you sat down before     him and pulled him on to your lap, lying back so he was lying on top of     you

“Is this okay?” You     asked quietly

“Yeah” he replied

You explained why you acted the     way you did to him, hoping he’d understand. 

“I’m sorry Saeran, im     sorry I hurt you”     

He stayed silent for a moment 

“I’m sorry too��

There was some silence

“You know I’d never betray     you MC. Not me. Not ever”    

You knew he was right, because     he had been tricked into believing a torturous betrayal

And even after that one was     knocked down, another was proven with Rika’s own betrayal 

You whispered everything you     loved about him in his ear, gently running your hand through his hair in     hopes he’d be a little calmer and happier 

Eventually you lulled him to     sleep with your words, his head resting on your shoulder as he comfortably     slept in your arms

Not long after you fell asleep     too

And Saeyoung totally got     pictures and sent them to the chat room, claiming he had “called     it” way before anyone else    

V

of course you disliked him

It was his fault you were in     such a terrible mess    

It made so much sense

To him at least

Though he couldn’t deny he did     feel a little disheartened when he saw how you were with Jumin and     Saeyoung

Nevertheless he brushed it off     and continued on     

He was content with watching     you be happy somewhere else that wasn’t with him

He didn’t really deserve it     anyway

However

On the night of the RFA party     he saw you admiring one of his enlarged photographs 

You were standing there,     smiling fondly at the picture of the enchanting little bridge with vines     growing all over it

“It’s quite a lovely     picture”     

One of the guests was     addressing you

You had no idea V was with in     earshot     

“Yes, it’s beautiful" 

"You’re the party     coordinator right? Does that mean you know the photographer?”

“Oh yes. If his pictures     don’t already tell you, he’s a very enchanting and lovely person" 

This guest had a twinkle in     their eye

This guest knew

V was red in the face and     trying really hard not to smile at your praise 

"Tell me, is this     photographer worth it?" 

It was a strange question, but     you nevertheless turned to the guest and smiled 

"Oh, most definitely" 

"Maybe you should tell him     that”

You turned to see V approaching     you, the smile still on his face and his cheeks still burning 

When you turned back around the     guest was gone

What the fuck

“You like my     pictures?”

You hummed

“I thought you hated     me”

You stared forward, a little     shocked by his words, but you knew you shouldn’t be because sometimes you     acted so cold towards him    

You sighed and explained why to     him, why you’d been so cold and mean    

He was actually surprised 

“I don’t hate you V. Quite     the opposite. I’m sorry" 

When you looked at him, he was     smiling happily but he had tears in his eyes

"A-ah! Don’t cry!" 

He was really happy

He asked you to accompany him     for the rest of the night    

Of course you agreed

Vanderwood

Saeyoung thought living with     the two of you was agonising 

All you did was give each other     the cold shoulder, or argue!!    

At first you’d ignored him, because     if you trusted him with your heart it’d break

But now you and him got in     headed arguments because he was a prick sometimes!

A prick you loved but a prick     nonetheless

Vanderwood thought you were     infuriating and tiring    

Also why did you dislike him so     much??

Huh??

What exactly did he do??

When you were around Saeran and     Saeyoung you were fine    

But around him

Noooo

You were cold and mean

Like seriously what was your     deal

Vanderwood only found out what     your ’deal’ was when he came back from a dangerous mission

After he had fought with you,     and yelled at Saeyoung, he decided to take a deadly mission

One that didn’t have an     extraction plan

Basically a suicide mission

You flipped when you found out,     and unfortunately Saeyoung couldn’t help you, you just had to wait

Waiting was horrible

But when he got back you were     ready to dig into him    

You completely forgot your     I-don’t-care-cold-hearted facade as you yelled at him

"What the hell is your     problem!”     

Oh great here we go, he thought

“You can’t just go on a     suicide mission every time you get angry! It’s stupid and reckless. What     you think if you die nothing happens? If you go missing? What if one day     you step out of that door and I never see you again? What if you never     come back?”

Wait what

Why 

What?

“Why the fuck do you     care?”     

Your eyes went cold

Obviously it wasn’t his fault     that he didn’t understand your feelings

But that didn’t stop your rage

“Why do I care? Are you     fucking dumb? I care because I like you dammit! You cannot run off into a     mission with no extraction plan and no contact with us to ask for damn     help! You can’t just leave!”    

He stared

“You like me?”

“Is that all you got from     that? Seriously?"     

He kept staring, suddenly     feeling such a large bash of emotion    

"But you hate me" 

You sighed

"No, no I don’t. I never     did”

You explained, and surprisingly     he listened, you explained how you built walls around your heart and kept     your trust away from those ready to betray it. 

“Tch, you’re an     idiot”

well excuse you princess

Your head snapped to him, a     little hurt and annoyed at his words    

“Why would I betray     someone I care about?" 

Your eyes widened and he looked     away, before quickly kissing your lips and grumbling a ‘I like you too’

You laughed, before dragging     his stupid ass down for a real kiss. 

[babblingbr00k]

Seek Me & You Shall Find Me

Rule 1: Prescribed medications such as: antidepressants, pain medicine, anti-anxiety medicine, sleep medicine were completely banned at ATWH. The only medication that we were allowed to bring in and take were over the counter medication and Prescriptions that were deemed necessary to prevent harm/or death. The theory behind this is our very first commandment. Thou shall have no other Gods before me.

I remember, as the wind blew the moon and the darkness in, being very anxious and over emotional. I cried uncontrollably. I was petrified of night, scared of being awake and alone. I was completely at the mercy of the monsters my 2nd night wanted to inflict. The only thing keeping me from bolting out the door, was the knowledge that I had nowhere to go.

It had now been over a week since I had my last dose of my Effexor, the antidepressant I had been on for 8 years since my brother died. It had also been 2 days since I had had my beta blocker. The medication that kept my heart from beating too fast.

My body was now detoxing from amphetamines, opiates, antidepressants, and a beta blocker. If I were to label my discomfort on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst. I was suffering at an unimaginable 67.3234.

I cannot express to you how much I wanted to die.

I stopped praying for the strength to get through this. I was now praying, begging, albeit DEMANDING for God to give me the strength to kill myself.

Like a child, I was clingy to Emma. Where ever she went I was sure to follow. If she were to sit down or stand still for longer than 2.5 seconds, I would force my way into her arms. Her petting, rocking, and cooing…...helped. But I could tell that, after several hours, she was beginning to get annoyed with the lack of personal space I was willing to give her. It wasn't long till I noticed Emma start to withdraw from me. When I would enter into a room, she would leave. She spent the rest of the evening with Kennedy.

Que private pity party of a catastrophic level. Abandoned again!!!

I was still unable to eat without it coming right back up. I was now crossing into the 48 hour mark of being unable to consume and keep anything of nutritional value in my stomach. I remember not being bothered by this. When I stood on the scale in the bathroom that morning, I was shocked when my weight read almost 270 pounds.

Our bodies start to burn excess fat after 2 days without eating. It’s also around this time that our adrenal glands start to pump endorphins into our system. It’s our bodies way of protecting itself from the pain of hunger pains. I remember looking forward to all small bit of relief that was headed my way within the next 24-48 hours.

Nine o'clock came and it was time for our circle of prayer. We all gathered in the middle of the room, formed a circle and held hands. I angrily “passed,” while the rest of the girls prayed. Immediately following prayers I went and climbed into my bed. Emma, who spent the entire day soothing me, wouldn't even look at me. I layed there wide awake, listening to the other girls drift off to sleep, wondering what kind of hell the dark corners of my mind had to offer the insommed.

I’m not sure how long I laid in my bed, twisting and turning, trying to get comfortable.

The only way I can explain how this feels is: imagine laying down, initially being able to lay still and comfortable for 20 seconds or so. But you start to feel a painful tingling sensation in your feet. It’s similar to the painful tingling your arm or your leg experiences when it’s “waking up” after having been deprived of blood flow for a little bit of time. This “tingle” slowly makes its way up your legs, into your back, then your shoulders, and finally into your arms. Movement of your extremities usually eases this feeling. But once you have done your little bedside boogie and start to get comfortable again, the tingling rallies, crawling up your legs once again for another attack against every inch of your body. It’s called Restless leg. Imagine going through this every couple of minutes for 9 hours straight.

I layed there in that little twin bed for hours, listening to the soft breathing of the other girls as they peacefully slept. I twisted and turned, changing positions every couple of minutes in an attempt to ease the Restless Legs. The sheets were that low thread count, so there were little bubbles that irritated my skin.

I found myself an interesting little rhythm.

Stomach….

Right Side….

Back…..

Left Side….

Now reverse….

Left side….

Back…..

Right side…..

Stomach….

Now do the Stanky Leg and the Dab….

I fought, for what seemed like hours. I didn’t care if anyone saw me. Desperate to try ANYTHING, I even attempted the Hands and Knees Down/Butt Up pose that we all resorted to as a child. It didn’t take long for me to abandon said pose. See, with my bowels being in the shape that they were in due to my detoxing, the only thing that this pose accomplished, was a bit of Brook’s Backdoor Homemade Airfreashner.

Abort!!!!!

Back to the ole Four Turn Tango.

Stomach….

Left Side…

Back….

Right Side….

Now reverse..

Right Side….

Back…..

Left Side….

Stomach...

….Now do the Stanky Leg and the Dab….

I HAVE TO GET OUT OF MY BODY!!!

I jumped out of bed and started running in place, jumping up and down. I was at war with my body. Using my hands, I assaulted every inch of my body. Beating my legs, my stomach, my butt, and finally my head. I thought, maybe, I could beat this feeling out of me.

Winded, I stopped to catch my breath. I realized that I had forgotten where I was. I looked around the room and remembered where I was, and that I wasn’t alone. I closely observed each girl as they laid in their own bed, checking to make sure none of them were awake to witness my self inflicted assault to my detoxing body.

I looked down at my bed and felt a wave of hate wash over me. Hate for my bed, hate for my sick body, hate for Phillip for abandoning me, hate for my parents for throwing me away, and hate for God who had forsaken me.

I never wanted to see that bed again. I grabbed my pillow and blanket made my way into the dark living room on the other side of the house.

I threw my pillow and blanket on the full sized couch and introduced myself.

“Couch...I’m Brook….I wanted to introduce myself. I felt it was the polite thing to do. Ya see….I’m about to lay down and try to get comfortable enough to get some sleep. But...the way this night is playing out….I have a feeling things are gonna be getting real freaky.”

I gave my new friend a gentle pat, laid down, and prayed that I would quickly fall into a peaceful sleep.

I started to count….1…..2…..3…..4…………………

It was around the 27 second mark that I felt the tingling in my feet.

..aaaaannnddddd here we go…..

Stomach…..

Left Side….

Back….

Right Side….

Now reverse…..

I now added the beat from Cat Nie Jo to my new nightly routine.

Right Side…..

Back…..

Insert the Nae Nae

Left Side……

I stopped mid Stanky Leg and burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. I laughed so hard that I started to cry. I even wet my only pair of semi clean underwear.

I know what your thinking, but I’m not going crazy. Well, not completely anyway. See if you have the ability to laugh at yourself or have a little bit of fun in a situation that is fucked up….well...you just learned a valuable coping skill my friend. Good Job!!

I calmed down and finally caught my breath.

I was now pissed off at the couch. She could, literally, kiss my ass. I grabbed my pillow and blanket and shuffled over to the Love Seat.

Politely introduce myself to my new freaky furniture friend.

“Let’s get busy…..”

I remember wondering how long those couches had been there and how many asses they had seen through the years.

Moot…..

Well hello racing thoughts, wouldn’t be a party without you. I was wondering when your ass was gonna show up. Come on in and join this Fuck Fest Of Chaostrophic Proportions!

My thoughts bounced around from one random thought to another.

I went from thinking about the couches to thinking about my 1970’s couch that I got free when I moved into my first apartment when I was 21.

Fox Run Apartments.

What was the name of that Disney Cartoon?

Oh yea...Fox and the Hound.

You ain’t nothing but a hound dog….crying all the time…

What time is it? Where’s the damn clock?

It’s almost midnight.

It’s Tuesday. Almost Hump Day.

Why Hump Day? Who had the bright idea to name Wednesday Hump Day.

Maybe he had a standing reservation with his wife every Wednesday. His designated booty day.

Booty...God my booty hurt. 3 days of diarrhea will put serious wear and tear on the badonk-a-donk spout.

Whale spout. They have to come up for air every 15 minutes.

An alligator can hold its breath 30-60 minutes.

Humans risk brain damage after 3.

Brian Love...the little 5 year old boy that was hit by a car. My first Meritorious Service Award. I got to ride in Air Med because the Paramedic needed an extra set of hands. While he worked on little Brian, I had to squeeze the bag once every two seconds. Delivering oxygen into his little lungs.

Before I could make the transition into my next random, racing thought, I was interrupted by a very familiar high pitched squeaking. I didn’t get up immediately.

I wanted to give God a minute. I prayed that He would take him quickly.

"Please, God, spare me from THIS tonight."

I wasn't too keen on becoming a mouse serial killer. But after a minute or so of waiting for God to do his own damn job, I reluctantly got up. I cursed God, yet again, and followed the trail of audible suffering...my broom at the ready.

This time my dude was in the kitchen. I walked in and turned on the bright fluorescent lights. Curse!! Curse!! Curse!! Damn everything and everyone to hell.

Rule 2:Swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain will NOT be tolerated at All The Way House. If you refuse to abide by this rule, you will be expelled from the program and not allowed to return.

I found my next victim glued to a glue trap under the shelving of cooking supplies. Just one guy, he had only just started chewing off one of his paws.

Broom handle down, heart hardened, tears falling, taking aim, prayer for forgiveness, stab, stab, stab, die, die, die!!!

I stood there with him, watching, keeping him company, until the jerking stopped and he was gone.

“Fuck Forgiveness.” I tried to convince myself that putting the mouse out of his misery didn’t bother me.

But the tears falling down my face told me that that statement was a huge lie.

I disposed of the corpse, then stood in the kitchen and continued to cry. My happiness from new clothes long forgotten. I took stock of the collection of knives and debated on whether I should leave my own corpse for the girls to find.

It wasn’t until after I noticed the 8 foot, side by side freezer that I told myself, "I'll think about that tomorrow," (que Scarlett O'Hara.)

I dropped my killing instrument and made my way to the freezer. I stood there, before this gigantic, silvery door to Narnia, and said a quick prayer.

"Please, for the love of all things good, let there be contents within worthy of my sophisticated pallet."

The doors were heavy and I had to pull past the suction. There was no way in hell I would be denied my, "due and proper."

Once I had the doors opened, I could see stacks of fruit, plate lunches for the next day, and.....gallons of ice cream. Well you could have called me Chunk and told me to do the "Truffle shuffle," for all I cared. As far as I was concerned, God put this mountain in front of me, and by God, I would conquer it.

"Screw this," I said out loud. "If I can't stab myself to death, I'll fucking eat myself to death." I grabbed the gallon of strawberry cheesecake bliss, grabbed a ladle and happily resigned myself to eating my way to 300 lbs, diabetes, heart failure, then finally sweet death.

"How does this fit into your 1st Commandment?" I said under my breath.

I closed my eyes and pretended that I was shoveling Opana laced ice cream into my mouth and down my gullet. It was the severe brain freeze and subsequent nausea that made me stop. I threw my gifts from God to the side and ran to the bathroom, shoved my finger down my throat, and gave the porcelain God the contents of my stomach.

Once everything was up and out, I sat back onto the bathroom floor and caught my breath.

Brook? You are working yourself up. You have got to get a grip. The only thing this is doing is making it worse.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. On the toilet and walls was an abstract art piece that would have made Picasso proud. The white, pink, and red spew was a beautiful contrast to the faded green wallpaper. In the corner, an unknown, and suspicious brownish smudge made up a smile that went along with my strawberry eyes and nose.

I looked myself. What a waste. I had regurgitation in my hair, on my face, and down the front of my night shirt. I looked down to the floor and saw that I was sitting In a puddle that I had not noticed before. It was the smell drifting up that informed me that I had soiled myself (#1 & #2) during my peritoneal purge.

You can safely assume that I was at my most lowest point. I didn't just hit bottom. If you had had the desire to seek me out and try to find me, I was there, several 100 feet below rock bottom.

I submit

Uncle!!

I give up!

relinquishing,

86'in this shit,

have no fight left,

abdicate,

retreat,

withdraw,

yield,

abandon!!

I’m going to Davy Jones Mother Fucking Locker!!

I WANTED TO DIE!!! Why have you forsaken me God? Why have you abandoned me in my most desperate time of need?

I laid there, on the dirty, sticky bathroom floor, covered in my own piss, shit, and vomit. As much as I wanted to give up, I decided to give God one last call. This was my Hail Mary.

I distinctly remember whispering,"Help."

Then I waited.

And I listened.

………….

It would have been so easy to lay there, continuing to feel sorry for myself. It would have been easy to admit defeat and finish digging my own grave on the tiled floor. All I had to do was pull that dirt in on top of me.

Bury me here. Peace Out Bitches!!

I, soon, felt my body start to relax as I drifted off to sleep. I started to dream. In my dream I heard a voice and felt a presence that I hadn't felt in over 8 years. It was the comforting, yet insistent, voice of my brother , Coleson.

"Come on El Negro! (that’s what he called me) Not here and not like this. Get up!"

It would be amazing if I sat here and told you that it was the voice of my brother that got me off that floor and into the shower. It wasn't. I sprang up and out of my fetal position with an overwhelming need to throw up again. I dry heaved into the toilet as I #1 and #2'd all over myself for the 2nd time. When the gagging was done, I stood up and glanced over at my strawberry smiley face abstract piece.....and told him to go fuck himself.

For some reason I started speaking in first person.

"Brook is better than this."

“Brook doesn't just give up."

"Brook is a warrior and will fight."

“Brook smells like shit and needs to get her ass in the shower."

After my shower, Laying in my bed, before I drifted off into a semi-peaceful sleep, I promised myself, and whoever else was listening, that I was going to see this through. No more talk of killing myself or feeling sorry for myself. I had two feet, and dammit, I was going to stand on them.

Was that actually Coleson? Taking a minute to boss me around from the afterlife? Or was I finally entering the hallucination phase of death?

Well whatever you wanna call it, it worked. I got up, took a shower, put on clean clothes and went back to bed. It's possible that my self conscious created my brothers voice in a moment of self preservation. My brain told me what I wanted to hear, in a voice I was yearning to hear.

I knew that me giving up wasn't an option. If I wanted to live....I would have to fight.

[misssophiachase]

Finally! Chapter 2 is up! Due partly to the awesome and gorgeous cover the extremely talented Nicole - @romanoffsbite - made for this fic and also because of the fact it was her birthday recently! Happy belated birthday, lovely lady. I wish you all of the good things (whiskey, cake etc).

Someone asked me which band I'm basing the Originals on and I would say Kings of Leon, probably more so because of the Lily Aldridge/Caleb Followill connection. Plus I do love the Kings of Leon so why not? Plus I might steal some of their songs in future (look out Sex on Fire)...

Beauty and the Beat

Part 2: It's Only Rock 'n' Roll

Miami, Florida - Present Day - December 2017

Klaus wasn't one to revisit the past, in fact he avoided it at all possible costs but here he was in Miami of all places and about to sing with his ex-girlfriend flaunting her delectable curves in skimpy underwear. His ex-girlfriend that could make anyone melt in her presence and he was no different. Not only for the fact that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen but also because of her adorable stubborness, quick wit, intelligence and frustrating ability to render him completely useless.

He was quick to refuse the offer to play the Victoria Secret Fashion Show all those months ago but he'd been outnumbered by his band mates, publicist and manager who all insisted it was too good an opportunity. Yes, the show was telecast to millions world-wide and it was the kind of publicity you couldn't buy but that didn't mean he wanted Caroline thrown back in his path and on such a public stage.

"Hello, Niklaus!" A voice interrupted. He focused his gaze on his annoying, younger brother in the reflection of the mirror. For some reason fans found that annoying smirk gorgeous but all Klaus wanted to do was wipe it off his face most of the time. Unfortunately Kol was an extremely talented drummer and he knew it. "We've got to get to make-up."

"Maybe you might need a touch up little Mikaelson but this face is perfect just the way it is," Enzo boasted, preening in front of the mirror next to Klaus.

"I'm surprised I can fit in this room with all these egos depriving me of oxygen," Lucien joked from the sofa, tuning his bass as he said it.

"Yours is bigger than ours combined," Kol shot back childishly.

"That's not what your sister was saying the other day," he offered, employing his usual tactic of teasing the Mikaelson brothers mercilessly by mentioning Freya.

"She was probably too starved of oxygen to bloody respond," Klaus commented tersley before standing up and taking one last look in the mirror. "Let's just get this over and done with." He strode purposefully from their dressing room without even a backwards glance, the silence from his bandmates enough to know he'd made his point and not to mess with him in a bad mood.

Prince Regent Hotel, Brixton, London - 5 years ago - October

"When are we going to get out of this shithole and start playing better venues," Kol whined. "Its been three months here already, Niklaus."

"When we finally get some professional interest," he replied, rolling his eyes in the process. Kol had always been too impatient for his own good and this situation was no different. If he could have a record deal today Klaus would but everyone in the industry knew that it took time and a lot of patience. He wouldn't admit it aloud but Klaus knew his was wearing very thin.

They'd been playing pubs around England and Europe for three years now and even though patrons apparently liked their music it didn't mean much in their hopes of being discovered. Klaus didn't know much else besides moving around questionable establishments and going through multiple rejections. But if anything it made him even more determined for fame and success. His dream was all he really had.

He'd grown up in Tottenham with his drunken father and three siblings in a tiny, two bedroom, housing trust home. He didn't have many happy memories from his childhood. They didn't celebrate birthdays or Christmas, mainly because their father drank all the money away and as soon as Klaus was old enough he left home, taking his younger brother with him on the playing circuit while Rebekah went to stay with Elijah off campus as he studied on scholarship at Cambridge. Klaus was thankful that at least one of the Mikaelsons would have a university degree.

"You didn't seem to be complaining when you were mauling that redhead last night," Enzo scoffed.

"You're just jealous that I get to have fun while you pathetically pine away for my sister over the Atlantic."

Rebekah had made a promising (and unexpected) career in public relations and was currently overseas with her latest client on a press tour. Although they hadn't acted on their simmering attraction it was obvious to all concerned that it wasn't just a passing phase. They fought like cat and dog but they all put that down to the fact that it was just foreplay before they finally gave into their feelings. The Mikaelson men were extremely protective of their sister but given Enzo was practically part of the family they preferred him as opposed to any other guys.

"For the last time..." Enzo argued before Lucien interrupted.

"It's about time you admitted it, mate. I've only been around for two years and even I know about your pathetic crush."

The brothers had known Enzo since they were teenagers but their bass player had only come onto the scene recently after an expletive riddled tirade about their performance in a little bar in Manchester. Granted he was drunk when he said it but after giving him an impromptu audition, Lucien had proven without a doubt that he was a much needed addition to their band.

Before Enzo could interrupt Kol spoke excitedly. He was peering through a crack in the curtains and looking at that night's audience. "What the hell?"

"Stop spying on the audience, they generally don't like that sort of thing," Klaus growled.

"It's kind of difficult when they are models, Niklaus."

"Models? Really Kol?" Lucien asked surprisingly. “In this dodgy establishment in Brixton?”

"Haven't you seen the latest Cosmopolitan?"

"I don't generally go around reading women's magazines, little brother," Klaus replied, dryly.

"Well, maybe you should," he quipped. "We don't just have one cover model here tonight but two."

"Whatever," Klaus said gruffly. He wasn't one to turn down a pretty face but from what he knew models weren't really his type. Kol on the other hand was a different story. "Let's just do this." They walked on stage, given the lighting it was difficult to see the audience but Klaus kind of liked it that way. He would never admit it but he was a little self conscious about what people thought even though he knew just how good they were.

He lost himself in the music, something he did every night as he sang. It was the only time that Klaus actually felt comfortable. He noticed a figure swaying in the crowd making him peer closer. There was no doubting she was stunningly beautiful in a pair of light, denim jeans and fitted black, Rolling Stone's t-shirt and long, golden waves cascading over her shoulders. After the first few songs he did an impromptu speech insisting they raise the house lights. As he spoke about the importance of rock 'n' roll his eyes found the mystery blonde. Although on further inspection Klaus knew he'd seen her before. He wracked his mind trying to work out why she was so familiar. Then it came to him.

"In celebration of the upcoming visit of President Obama, I thought this next song might be fitting." His brother, Enzo and Lucien regarded him curiously before catching on and playing the opening strains. The blonde looked up at him from the crowd, her eyebrows cocked. "I remember singing this one night in a hostel in Dubrovnik. We'd been loudly singing about saving our Queen when someone complained about the noise and probably rightfully so. She was American and I thought the only way to appease her was to play this instead. Let's just say I never received another complaint then so I figure it's a safe choice tonight."

As he sang the Star Spangled Banner again, Klaus was becoming increasingly impatient because all he wanted to do was speak with the woman he'd been thinking about the past two years. When she'd complained about their singing he'd reacted cheekily but upon waking the next morning Klaus had gone to the reception desk asking after her only to find out she'd already checked out three hours earlier. They wouldn't tell him her name and Klaus had always wondered just who she was, until now.

Their set eventually finished and he found himself stepping off stage and walking towards her suddenly a little nervous which was so unlike Klaus. Before he could speak, Kol interrupted, placing himself between them and the two girls.

"Ladies, so wonderful to have you here tonight," he smiled, his gaze focused on the dark skinned, brunette beside her. It was obvious to Klaus her friend wasn't overly impressed by his interruption.

"You remembered," she said, more like a statement than a question.

"When someone yells at you, it's kind of hard to forget, love," he chuckled. "So, what did you think of the show?" She faltered slightly, Klaus was trying not to lose himself in those penetrating blue eyes as he waited for her response. If he was being honest her opinion meant a lot more than it should.

"Well, you know, 'it's only rock 'n' roll' right?" She shrugged her shoulders indifferently.

"Given that Rolling Stones t-shirt you're wearing, I'm figuring the rest of that sentence goes..'but I like it' right?" He quoted.

"Well, that's your interpretation," she shot back, her gaze never faltering. It was just how he remembered her from all those years ago and Klaus still couldn't get enough. "I'm still getting over that sleep deprived night in Croatia."

"Actually, we need to get going," her brunette friend interrupted. "Early morning photo shoot, so this is goodnight guys."

"Oh come on darling, stay a little bit longer," Kol pleaded to her friend. Klaus wanted to beg too but he had too much pride to do that even if he was extremely interested in the mystery blonde, model or not. She sent him a small smile before sauntering away, Klaus trying to ignore the rythmic sway of her hips as she did.

TBC: Coachella, CA

[love-in-nature]

My Neighbor Fen’harel Chapter 12: Confusion

Read from the beginning on my AO3.

I work all day tomorrow so you all get this a day early ;).  

There are two lines in here that will need translating.  The first in Tevene is Dorian saying, you’ll be the death of me.  To this Emmy responds in Elvhen telling him to shove a tree up his ass.  A bit extreme maybe, but she is having a day haha.

Thank you as always to my incredible beta @happiness-is-sebstan

Emmy shifted, soft sheets slipping down her skin as she cuddled deeper into the hard warmth next to her.  A familiar, comforting scent filled her nostrils and she inhaled deeply.  Her lips parted to release a contented sigh, fingers shifting to brush against warm skin, over lean muscle and broad shoulders.

Her eyes fluttered open and she had to work not to jerk back as awareness suddenly hit her.  In response, Solas’ fingers pressed more firmly into the skin of her back and where they were tangled in her hair.  She froze, keeping her hand flat on his chest so she could measure the easy rise and fall of his breath.

Several seconds passed while she worked to clear her panicked mind.  She was in his bed now, he must have carried her there at some point, but she was still wearing her dress.  If she was quiet, she could sneak out and make it to her apartment without waking him.

She ‘d already decided not to hold him to what he’d said mid-coitus.  People said all sorts of things they didn’t mean during sex.  Lust filled musings that you came to regret the next morning, like her impossible thought that she was still in love with him. It was absurd. She couldn’t be.  It was just her body messing with her brain.  If she let it continue it would only lead her down a path she wasn’t ready travel.

Emmy eased herself carefully out of his arms, taking care to jostle him as little as possible.  In the dim light of the moon, she could see his frown as he released a sigh of complaint in the back of his throat, but he didn’t wake.

With careful steps, she snuck to the door.  Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears she was surprised it didn’t wake him.  When she reached the door of his bedroom, she couldn’t help glancing back at him.  He was all long limbs, his arms now hugging the pillow she had been using, the tip of one ear visible from where he’d buried his face in the fabric.

It didn’t matter that his face was hidden from her, body bundled under sheets so all she could see was his silhouette.  In her mind, he was clear as day and a new, more painful thought struck her, one she couldn’t explain away with the heat of sex—she hadn’t fallen in love with him again tonight; she’d never fallen out of love with him to begin with.

Her fingers dug into the wood of his door frame.  For a beat she thought of how easy it would be to go back to him.  To slide back under those covers and bury herself against his body.  It would be easy, just for tonight, but then what?  She needed to think because the truth was, she still didn’t trust him. Not after what he’d done.

As she turned to sneak out, something caught in her throat, guilt heavy in her stomach.  Sneaking out while he was asleep felt worse somehow than if she’d just left immediately after.  Despite the rock in her stomach she was desperate to get out.  She needed to breath, and to try and think clearly.  She could do neither in this place where everything was him.

She snuck her way out of his apartment, then practically ran the few feet to hers.  She shut the door quickly, bolted it, and then pressed her back to the door before sliding to the floor.

Something furry knocked against her hip.  She reached her hand out absently to pet along Darcy’s soft fur.  He let out a low meow before head-butting her again.

“I messed up,” she told the cat.

Another meow, another head butt.

“Easy for you to say.  You’re lucky, you don’t have to deal with all this.”

This time he nipped her finger.

“Ouch! You little punk ass.”  She scooped him up and hugged him tight to her as he let out a plaintive cry at the forced cuddling, “Tough luck bud.  This is punishment for your attitude.  You’re just gonna have to cuddle with me now.”

An hour later she was naked in her bed, staring up at the ceiling and feeling cold despite Darcy’s heat at her hip.  She sighed deeply and wiggled out from under the covers, toes touching the cool floor as she sat there with her fingers digging into the edge of her mattress.  For a few moments she just stayed like that, eyes shut.

When she opened them again, the first thing they fell on was her discarded dress.  A little pool of crimson in the moonlight.  She stood and reached down to scoop up the material and bundle it into a tight ball.  Then she strode into the kitchen, opened her trash bin, and dumped it inside.

After staring at the trash bin longer than was reasonable for any sane person, she went to the couch and grabbed her laptop. She did something she hadn’t done in years: she opened her e-mail and wrote to Fen’harel about Solas.

She told him everything, everything but the details of their lovemaking.  She opened up entirely, feeling exposed to this man she’d never even met.  It was the only part of her she hadn’t shared.  Now she shared all of it, from the very start on that first fateful day in his class, to the very end where he’d disappeared without a word after they’d made love.

She wrote what she remembered. She wrote everything, because she remembered everything, every detail and word. She hoped that putting it all down would be like sucking venom from a wound, finally expelling it from her heart and mind.  If she could just pull it all out, finally stop holding everything in, then maybe the pain, the feelings of betrayal, and the aching loneliness would stop. All she wanted was to live her life in relative peace.

When she reached the part about what had happened tonight, what she’d done, she paused. She simply stared at the screen for several minutes.  Then she took a deep breath and finished the story, all of it.  What did it matter now?  Fen’harel had said he no longer wanted to speak with her.  He probably wouldn’t even read this.  She just needed to get it out.

She ended it with, “It was just sex.  Dorian said revenge and I guess… now that I’ve written it all out, his thinking makes such sense.  I admit maybe I wanted to hurt Solas, just a little, after all that had happened to me after he vanished.  I didn’t mean for it to go that far.  I didn’t mean for it to make me feel again, to make me realize how madly I still loved him.  I’ve messed up and I don’t know where to go now.”

She paused, took another deep breath, and deleted all of what she’d just written.  Instead, she ended with an apology for dumping all this on him when he had said he wanted to stop communication.  That she wouldn’t bother him again, but that she was grateful for all the correspondence they had shared, that maybe in another world they would have been able to know each other truly.  That maybe they could have been more than just… whatever this was.

Before she could think better of it, she hit SEND and shut the laptop.  She put the laptop back on her coffee table then went back to bed and attempted to sleep.  Sleep, however, proved to be annoyingly elusive.  Her thoughts and emotions raged in a million different directions, keeping her up with the chaos in her mind.  When the first rays of morning snuck onto her bedspread, she got up and dressed in a haze.  An hour later she’d somehow made it to work and into her office.

Once there, she had a few hours of peace.  The onslaught of e-mails and cataloging that needed doing kept her mind blissfully busy as she downed mugs of coffee.  She’d known she’d need it, so she’d just brought the whole coffee pot in.  Merrill was a tea drinker so Emmy didn’t feel like she was depriving anyone of their fix.

As she was going over another e-mail about an upcoming auction asking for her attendance, she reached for her mug only to find it empty.  With her eyes still on the computer screen, she felt around the surface of her desk for the space she’d left the coffee pot.  Her hand fumbled about for a moment before her brows knit in irritation at the suddenly empty space.

“Did you really drink this entire pot yourself?”

Her eyes rose to find Dorian with his hip leaning against her desk.  In one hand he held her kidnapped coffee, swirling it as he looked at her with eyebrows raised.

“You know that is bad for you right?  You keep up this pace you’re going to give yourself heart palpitations.”

She frowned, “I haven’t drunk the entire pot.  There is at least half a cup still left in there, so give it back so I can finish it up.  Then you can lecture me properly.”

He shifted and turned so he could place it on the opposite side of her desk, well beyond her reach.  Then he turned back to her and said with a forced nonchalance, “Didn’t get much sleep last night?”

She frowned. “Nope.”  Then she stood to reach out and grab the pot, but Dorian got to it first, once more lifting it away from her.  Her frown deepened. “What now, Dorian?”

“Don’t, ‘what now’ me.  You know precisely why I’m here.”

She made her face neutral, “Because you want to die?”

His eyes widened in mock terror and he pulled further away from her, “That’s a bit extreme for coffee.”

She rolled her eyes before forcing a bright smile.  “Hi, my name is Emmy.  I don’t believe we’ve met.”

Then she let her smile drop.  She held out her hand, fingers wiggling in a “hand it over” gesture.

Dorian sighed a deep weary sigh but relinquished his hostage. “I’m only trying to prevent your early demise.” Then he mumbled, “though I can’t remember why at this moment.”

“Because I’m so sweet I make your teeth ache.”

“Is that why?  I don’t believe I was thinking that at all.  Although, speaking of,” He tapped his fingers on her desk, “You either did something wonderful to our bald professor or something terribly wicked.  Perhaps both, now that I think of it.”

She startled, looking up at him from her pouring, “What are--”

“Coffee.”

She looked down to find that she’d shifted in her surprise and was now pouring coffee, unceremoniously, onto her desk.  Quickly she stopped and slammed the pot down to the side.

“Motherfucker.”

“Or Professor Fucker, perhaps?”

She spoke as she shuffled through her drawers to find paper towels, “Dorian, you--”

“I did nothing.  I believe it is you that did something.”

She found the paper towels and went to work trying to dab the coffee up before it soaked more of her papers.

Dorian watched as he added, “Unless you want to ease my worry and tell me you didn’t, in fact, go through with your plans.”

She kept her focus intent on the clean-up, “I went.”

He released a deep, bone-weary sigh, then growled out, “Festis bei umo canavarum.” 

In response she mumbled, “Lasa adahl su nar masa.”

“Now that is unfair, what did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

There was blissful silence for a while as Dorian pouted.  Emmy continued cleaning up the coffee spill, until she’d gone over the same spot twenty times.  Dorian reached out and put his hand over her wrist.

“Emmy, what happened?”

Her eyes stayed on her hands.  She remembered starkly how Solas had felt beneath her fingers, what his fingers had felt like on her skin.  The look of his hands, long, masculine.  How they’d clung to her, even the morning after.  Imprints still left on her skin.

She swallowed, straightened her shoulders and pulled her wrist from Dorian’s hands.  She crumbled the paper towels in her fist, turning to toss them in her waste bin. “I told you.  I went.  We had sex.  I left.  End of story.”

“That is… not what I expected.”

She sighed, “You knew the plan.  I went with the plan.”

“I didn’t think you would.  You’re--” He took a breath. “I saw him this morning.  Went to his office to ask him something.  He was withdrawn.  No snark.  I even took a book from his shelf, asked if I could borrow it.  Do you know what he said?”

She moved to sit back down in her chair, shuffling papers she wasn’t actually looking at, “I’ve no idea.”

“He said, ‘As you wish.’”

“So?”

“There was no ‘Why do you want it, Dorian?’  No, ‘Bring it back by this time, Dorian.’  No, ‘Don’t do this or that with it, Dorian.’”

She took a deep breath, “What’s your point?”

“He is upset.  I didn’t know he could be.  To be honest, I’d not thought anything could faze the man, but right now... this is more emotion then I have seen from him the entire time I’ve known him.  Whatever happened, he has really---”

She stood up with such force her chair banged against the cabinet behind her.  Her hands pushed into the wood of her desk as she growled out, “He’s upset!?  We had sex and I left him to go back to my apartment right next door.  He knows I’m alive.  He knows I’m okay and that I’m near.  When he left me after we’d been together, without a word, it was for two fucking years.  It would have been longer if coincidence hadn’t landed me here.  I didn’t know if he was dead or alive.  I didn’t know what I did or if any of it meant shit to him.  He kept away even after…”  Her voice trailed off and she took several deep breaths.

Dorian spoke, “It’s alright to still be angry with him, you know, but you should try talking to him about it.  It’s clear the man---”

“Please don’t.”  She looked up to Dorian, feeling the corners of her eyes prick, “I can’t right now.  I’m sorry I snapped at you.  You were right before, I shouldn’t have slept with him, but I did.  Now I just need time to think.”

“I’m always here for you, Emmy.  I only,” He paused. “You deserve to be happy.  That’s why I pester you. You know that, yes?”

She took yet another deep breath, “I know Dorian and I do appreciate that you care.”

Dorian gave her a nod and then headed out the door, shutting it quietly behind him.  The moment it closed she slumped back into her chair, letting her head fall to rest on the cool wood of the desk.

For a few moments she remained that way.  She allowed herself to try to think about what had happened.  It was obvious she was still mad.  Though she’d moved on, the hurt had never truly healed.  It had simply scabbed over, and the moment he had shown up, it was ripped open again.

Despite the anger, she was still in love with him and part of her wanted to believe what Dorian seemed to.  That same part of her wanted to believe what he had said the previous night.  She wanted to believe that he wouldn’t leave her, that he wanted to know her again, that maybe he even loved her a bit.  That part of her was an idiot.  After what he did she should never want to see him again.

And yet…

Her fingers clenched and unclenched repetitively, a habit she had picked up from Solas when uncertainty struck her.  Realizing this, she forced her fingers closed into fists.

Right now, her mind and emotions were warring.

Half of her was shouting that obviously he had feelings.  He was hurt by her leaving, or Dorian was sure he was.  He had been so passionate the night before.  His words about wanting to do whatever he had done a million times over to have her again, rang in her head like a chorus.  The way he had held her, kissed her, worshipped her, and then clung to her the next day.  How he had been trying to apologize, to prove himself again even before she’d slept with him.

The other half of her kept reminding her that she had thought they had something before too.  All those years ago, she’d loved him madly.  He was the first man, the only man, she had considered spend a lifetime with.  She thought he’d loved her, or something very close to it, and then… poof, gone.  What if this was just that all over again and she hadn’t made any progress from the naive idiot she’d been then?

Emmy groaned and hit her head on the desk a couple times.  This was going nowhere right now.  She needed to actually do some of what she was being paid to do instead of just warring with herself.  She gave one last knock of her head and then straightened, cracked her knuckles, and forced her mind back to work.

After the first hour passed, during which she found herself just as incapable of focusing, she managed to zone in on her work.  As her work day was coming to a close there was a knock at her door.  Merrill was scheduled to come talk over a new exhibit for the main library.

Since the visit was expected, Emmy didn’t bother looking up from her work as she spoke, “Come on in.  I’ll be done in just a moment.”

Her focus stayed on the paper in front of her as she tried to quickly finish up the last of it.  She heard the door open, then shut, and then the soft click of the lock.  At the last sound her brows furrowed and she looked up.

“Why did---”

The words caught in her throat the moment her eyes landed on the tall form suddenly in her office.  It only took him a few long strides to put himself in front of her desk.  Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little slip of black lace.

Fenedhis, she’d left her thong there.  Now Solas held it out to her between two of his long fingers.

Then he spoke, voice low and emotionless, “I believe this is yours.  I thought I should return it to you, or did you mean me to have it as some kind of souvenir?”